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bqstqnbruin · 5 months

Text

The Party's Over, Go Home

Hello hello here I am with my fic for @wyattjohnston's winter fic exchange!

I had the pleasure of writing for @sc0tters I hope you like it!

Shoutout to @kat-hearts @matthewtkachuk and @raysofcrosby for reading through this and getting mad at me :)

This is inspired by Intrusive Thoughts by Natalie Jane, Deserve by Jake Clark, and the Gilmore Girl's episode from season 5 called The Party's Over

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, family financial issues, this is angst, the spacebar on my computer is starting to break so typos (I tried)

WC: 11k

__________________________________

“We should do something tonight.”

“I was going to go to bed early, actually.”

“You do that every night.”

“What, are you stalking me now?”

“No,” Kendyl draws out. “You stop texting me by like, 8:30 every night. Your phone is on do not disturb half an hour later. Either you’re asleep early, or you’re ignoring everyone by then.”

Ellie narrows her eyes at her coworker. They still weren’t close enough that she felt she could comfortably hang out with the people she worked with outside of the workday. She had only been at her new job for a month, still getting the hang of things, trying to get to know people and figure everything out. Spending time outside her apartment with people who were practically strangers when she could be in her warm bed with her flannel sheets that she loved more than anything on this planet? “I don’t like that you picked up on that.”

“Well, too bad,” Kendyl says, sitting down on Ellie’s desk. “A bunch of us are going out tonight, so why not?” Ellie hesitates to answer. “If it sucks, you can go home at ten. You’ll be in bed by 10:30, two hours later than normal. And it’s Friday, we don’t have work tomorrow for you to use that as an excuse as to why you have to get up early, and you already told me that the only thing you planned on doing this weekend was laundry and cleaning.”

Ellie let out a long sigh. Maybe Kendyl did know her well enough to be able to call her out on her shit already. “God.”

“I don’t know if you’re religious or not to know if that’s a yes.”

“Fine,” she says, shuddering at Kendyl’s squeal of excitement. “But you’re buying at least one round and I get to leave at 9:30 if I want to.”

“Deal.”

Ellie’s day was full of dread, from spending the rest of work distracted about having to go out with seemingly everyone at her job, so the stress involved with getting ready and trying to look like someone who was actually 24, not the ‘1980’s power boss bitch without the hair and shoulder pads’ as Kendyl described her as multiple times, even do walking to the bar that Kendyl had picked that felt way too conveniently down the street from her apartment.

“I’m surprised you even had someone convince you to go out,” her younger brother, Alex, says on the other end of their phone call. As soon as he saw Ellie leaving her apartment on Find My Friends, he called her panicked that something was wrong. “You never went out in college. I had to beg you to go to that one party the time I visited you.”

“That’s because you were still seventeen and Mom would have killed me if she found out you went.”

“She knew I was going to try anyway.”

“I’m going out because I was promised free drinks and the prospect of going home early if I want to. It’s not like I’m being forced to go out against my will.”

“I promised you free drinks.”

“Alexander.”

“Eleanor. Just be safe, ok? Let me know when you get home.”

“You sound like Mom.”

“If I were Mom, I would be yelling at you for not wearing a jacket.”

“How do you know I’m not wearing a jacket?”

“You never wear a jacket. Mom has been yelling at you about that since you were five.”

Ellie lets out a laugh, a sudden chill coursing through her when she realizes she can see her breath. “How is Mom, have you checked in on her?’

“Yes, Ellie.”

“In person?”

“Yes, Ellie. She’s good. At least, she says she is.”

The two of them stay on the phone in silence for a moment, knowing what he really means. Ellie and Alex hated the topic of how their mom was doing, but if they didn’t talk about it with each other, who else did they have? Their mom and Alex still live in the same area even if Alex was away at college and living in a dorm rather than with her. Ellie was on the other side of the continent now, for a job that she barely had any friends at, in a city she still barely knew, surrounded by things she wasn’t used to.

“Hey, I’m outside the bar now, I’ll talk to you later?” she ends the call, taking in one last deep breath before heading into what she was sure was going to be

“You came!” Kendyl yells once Ellie finally manages to get into the bar. “Here’s the first drink.”

Before Ellie could even tell Kendyl she wasn’t ready yet to start drinking, the drink was pressed to her chest and nearly spilled down the front of her. Despite it being early enough in the night that no one should be drunk by now, Kendyl and the rest of her coworkers seemed to be well on their way with Ellie needing more drinks than she could count to catch up.

The night goes by slowly, the drinks going away fast, and Ellie sitting in the corner while her coworkers, who are obviously close, talk about a bunch of inside jokes from before she was hired that Ellie was unable to participate in.

“Remember when he ordered the wrong cake?” Wesley slurs, punching Doug in the shoulder.

“I swear she told me to say, ‘Happy Retirement,’” Douglas defends himself.

“It was my 28th birthday, not my retirement?” Hazel says, everyone except Ellie bursting into a fit of laughter.

“What about when Sammy dialed 911 during the meeting?” Kendyl adds through wheezes, the remains of her drink nearly spilling on Ellie’s shirt, again.

“It fell out of my pocket and bounced weird!”

“How does a bouncing phone dial 911?”

“That’s the set up to a bad pick up line.”

“More like the setup to a story that makes no sense,” Ellie mutters, thankful that her coworker's howling laughter was too loud to hear her.

She gets up from the table, draining her drink on her way to the bar. It was only 9:15. She promised Kendyl 15 more minutes. The least she could do was down another drink in that time before pulling her classic Irish exit to go home and get in bed.

“Rum and coke?” she asks once she gets up to the bar, the sticky wooden counter acting as anything but inviting for her to lean on.

“Me, too, and put it on my tab,” someone says behind her, Ellie’s face immediately turning sour at the thought of some guy buying her a drink to probably get her to hook up with him.

“My friend is paying for it, actually,” she turns to him, surprised to find a seemingly innocent-looking guy around her age and not the middle-aged gross man she thought he would be. Anything was possible, and looks can be deceiving.

“Which friend, the one who almost spilled her drink on you or the one of the ones who have been ignoring you the entire night and letting you sit in silence while they have a good time around you?”

“I already don’t like you.”

“My friends pointed you out and said you were me when they drag me out to bars.”

“So you’re the friend who they barely know and who they only invited out of pity?”

“That’s dark. But also, kinda hot,” he says, the pink rushing to his cheeks as he turns away out of embarrassment. “Sorry, um. I’m going to go sit down now.”

“You haven’t gotten your drink yet,” Ellie points out, his sudden bashfulness making Ellie soften for him. “I just moved here. I don’t really know any of them too well.”

“I know what that’s like,” he tells her, leaning against the bar.

“You’re not from here, either?”

He shakes his head. “Born in Orlando, moved to Boston, then moved to Toronto, and kept going from there.”

“That sounds unstable,” she says, passing one of the newly appeared glasses of alcohol to the guy in front of her.

He shrugs, lifting the drink to his lips. “Well, they say you are a product of your environment.”

Ellie lets out a laugh, the first one that she had let out all night. “That’s dark. But also, kinda hot,” she repeats, the pink returning to his cheeks again.

“I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”

“Depends on how long we keep talking.”

“Hopefully it lasts past tonight.”

“It can’t if you don’t tell me your name. I’m Ellie.”

“I’m Quinn.”

Ellie loses count of how many drinks Quinn gets her, how long they’re talking, and when all of her coworkers leave the bar, not even telling her that they were leaving without her.

She could feel the warmth of the alcohol coursing through her body, the bar getting busier the longer she and Quinn stood there. Someone shoves in between Ellie and whoever is behind her, pushing her into Quinn’s arms without her being able to catch her balance. His hand falls to the small of her back, spreading out to hold her steady. They stood there in silence, the rest of the bar a world away from them.

“Are you ok?” Quinn whispers in her ear, his breath tickling her skin.

Ellie stammers for a second, trying to process what just happened. The alcohol was making everything foggy, and the room starting to spin slightly around her as if Quinn was rocking her back and forth. “Um, I, yes?”

His eyes flickered down to her lips, the distance between them closing with each additional person, he was so close to kissing her.

“I should go home,” Ellie says before he can, knowing that kissing him now would not be a good idea for either of them.

His grip on her doesn’t relax, the disappointment Ellie expected to show up on his face not there at all. “I’m walking you home,” he tells her, slipping his hand into hers before she can protest.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

The difference in temperature between the bar and outside hit Ellie faster than she could process it, her lack of jacket her brother had scolded her for earlier biting her in the ass harder than the cold was in the moment.

Ellie didn’t even process Quinn taking off his own coat, the one she didn’t even realize he had been wearing the entire time, and putting it around her shoulders before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close.

She was on autopilot, unsure how she managed to navigate her way to her apartment when her mind was on Quinn’s body pressed against hers. She just met him. She didn’t know much about him. She didn’t even know what he did for work and only knew that he had two brothers who lived in New Jersey even though that wasn’t one of the places that he mentioned living before.

“Here,” Ellie barely gets out, surprised with herself for managing to get back to the right place.

“Do you want me to walk you to your door?” Quinn asks, shoving his hands in his pockets when he finally lets go of her.

“No, it’s fine.”

Ellie goes to take off the jacket and give it back to him, the warmth something her drunk self quickly realized she was going to miss. “No, keep it. It looks better on you anyway,” Quinn tells her, pulling his things out of his pockets before turning away to head off.

She stands there for a few seconds, trying to process what had happened that night.

“Wait, no,” Quinn says, appearing again in front of her. “I can’t leave without getting your number first.”

“I couldn’t even tell you what my number is right now,” she admits, handing him her phone instead.

Quinn laughs, putting his number in. “I want to see you again, Ellie.”

She smirks at him. “We’ll see, Quinn.”

___________________

“What do you mean you’re not bringing anyone?”

“No one said I had to bring anyone.”

“Everyone brings someone. You have to bring a date to the holiday party.”

“Then why was one of the options on the RSVP ‘no’ to the question ‘will a guest be accompanying you?’”

Kendyl whines, earning a cringy look from Ellie. “You have no one you can bring?”

Ellie rolls her eyes, leaning back in her desk chair. “Let’s see, I’ve been here for like, what, two months? I knew no one when I got here, I hate going out and don’t have anywhere to meet anyone, and somehow none of you here know anyone either. Who would I bring?”

“What about that guy you met at the bar that one time? I see his name popping up on your phone all the time.”

Ellie snatches her phone from her desk and holds it against her chest as Kendyl cranes her neck to see that her statement is actually fact, three messages from Quinn, a fourth appearing while they were talking. “You need to learn what a boundary is.”

“And you need to learn what the Focus feature is on your phone when you’re showing me things because his name always shows up.”

She couldn’t invite Quinn to the party. She barely knew him, she couldn’t throw him into the party with a bunch of her coworkers who she also barely knew, putting her phone back on the desk without thinking. “He’s probably busy.”

Kendyl rolls her eyes, snatching Ellie’s phone from her desk before she can protest, fiddling with it while Ellie tries to process what could possibly be happening in front of her. “He’s not.”

“What?”

“He’s not busy.”

“Ken, what did you do?” Kendyl hands Ellie back her phone, a quick conversation with Quinn on her screen, ‘Ellie’ asks him what he was doing the night of the holiday party and he immediately answers that he is free. “Why are you like this?”

Kendyl shrugs, slowly backing away from Ellie’s desk. “You had fun talking to him at the bar, enough fun that he responded to you within seconds of being asked if he was free.”

Ellie looks back at her phone as Kendyl finally leaves her alone. The whole idea of having to bring a date seemed archaic in a way that Ellie couldn’t quite put her finger on. Why did she have to bring someone she barely knew to a party with more people she barely knew?

But she really did know Quinn better than she was letting on. She still didn’t know what he did with his life, him weirdly making her promise not to look him up, which made Ellie immediately question if he was a serial killer. He wasn’t, allegedly, but that still didn’t make sense.

She knew that he was from the States, went to school there until he left early for whatever job he had. He has two younger brothers, and apparently is known amongst his friends for looking like he was having a nonstop existential crisis, while also being nicknamed ‘Huggy Bear.’ She also knew that he was sweet, and listened to her when she went off on a tangent about something, him following right along and matching the energy she had. She knew that she wanted to see him again every night since she had met him that first time, and that he wanted the same thing.

His name came up on her phone, a call from him. “Hi, sorry, it’s easier to talk than text right now.”

“Why are you out of breath?”

“Workout.” Must be nice to have a job where he can just go and work out in the middle of the day, Ellie thinks to herself. “So, the 18th?”

“Yeah,” Ellie lets out, suddenly nervous. It felt like she was asking him for something much more serious than just going with her to an office party. “It’s the holiday party for my company, and apparently everyone needs to bring a date.”

“And you want me to find you one?”

Ellie’s jaw drops at his comment. “No, idiot, I wanted to bring you.”

“Oh, thank god. I was running through my friends who would go and none of them are good enough for you.”

Ellie could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks at his comment. Did he consider this a date? Was it a date? Was it bad if she considered it a date and he didn’t? What if he didn’t? Why was her mind running at a mile a minute while Quinn was there on the other end of her phone waiting for her to say something else? “So that’s a yes?”

“Of course, it’s a yes. It’s one of the few nights I have off, I want to spend it with you.”

The next days went by in a blur, Ellie freaking out over everything from what she was going to wear, texting and calling Quinn even more, wishing that they could see each other sooner.

“It’s not obsessive, is it?” she asks Kendyl, staring at herself in the mirror. Kendyl insisted on coming over to Ellie’s place to get ready, telling her that her roommate had their partner over that night and the last thing she needed to do was try to use the bathroom to get rid when they had a habit of taking it over for more than a few hours.

“No, El, you just like him. I think it becomes obsessive when you start to stalk him and you show up to where he works unprovoked.”

“Why do you say that like you’ve either done that or you’ve had that happen to you?”

“I’ll let you decide which one is better. What time is Quinn coming?”

“He’s supposed to get here in ten minutes.”

“Just breathe, El. You’re going to have fun.” Kendyl left her to finish getting herself ready, her date already waiting outside to take her to the party. They could have all gone together, as pointed out by Kendyl, but it was better to not throw Quinn directly into the fire that was her closest coworker.

Ellie’s phone starts ringing, not checking but expecting it to be Quinn calling to tell her he was early. She pops out of her seat to head to the door, picking up the phone and answering with an excited “Hi!”

“Eleanor?”

Ellie stops in her tracks, her mom’s voice coming over her phone speaker. “Mom?”

“Sweetie, can you do me a favor?”

Ellie felt her heart drop to her stomach, already knowing what her mom was going to ask her. It was the same thing that her mom always asked since she first got a job when she was in high school, every time she answered the phone while she was getting her degree, no matter where Ellie was in her life, it was never a call that a mother should have to make to one of her children this often. “Mom,” she lets out, knowing that she couldn’t say no.

“Please, Eleanor. I need the money. I, I-”

“Mom, you promised,” Ellie cuts her off, not wanting to hear anymore even though she knew her mom would keep going.

“I thought I would get a raise before they sent the eviction notice this time.”

“Mom,” Ellie says, more exasperated this time. “You have to stop doing this. You do this to me every time.”

“Alexander can’t help this time.”

Ellie heard a knock at her door, not even processing the fact that she should be looking through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t a murderer, opening it, and letting whoever it was in. Thankfully, it was Quinn, waving him in and motioning to give her a moment.

“Alex is still in college, already struggling because you’re no help. He shouldn’t have to give you anything in the first place.”

Quinn stands there, clearly uneasy at listening to only Ellie’s end of the conversation but following Ellie into her room regardless. He stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed while he watches Ellie continue to get ready.

“But you said last time that I couldn’t ask you again.”

“I didn’t mean for you to ask my little brother.”

“Eleanor, please. He’ll have nowhere to come home to. I’ll have nowhere to go home to.”

“What happened to everything you had last time I asked you?”

“It went towards all of the other bills, I promise. I’ll send you every confirmation for every bill I have.”

“You’re not lying to me this time?”

“I’m not, I swear!”

“How many months did Alex cover?”

“Only half of one month.”

“How many months are you behind?”

“I swear I used everything I had to pay-”

“Mom, how many months are you behind?” Ellie knew she was raising her voice, forgetting that Quinn was even behind her. She stopped putting her makeup on at this point, knowing that the tears that were about to fall were going to ruin what she had already on, anyway.

“Four.”

“Fuck, Mom.”

“Please?” her mom’s voice comes through, small and on the brink of breaking. “I know I’m still paying you back from last time. But what else am I supposed to do?’

“I’m sending it now,” she tells her, hanging up before her mother could say anything else. Ellie forgot Quinn was standing there in her doorway, putting her phone down on her vanity and putting her face in her hands. This couldn’t be happening again. Not again.

Quinn clears his throat, causing Ellie to jump. “Should I go?” he asks, creeping into her room.

Ellie wipes the tears from her cheeks, cursing herself mentally for now having to redo the makeup she already took too long to do the first time. “Uh,” she stammers, “No, no. I’ll be ready in a second.”

“Ellie,” Quinn kneels on the floor next to her, gently placing his hand on her thigh. “We don’t have to go to this.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m fine.”

“El.”

Ellie finally turned to him, the genuine concern on his face causing her to burst into tears. He reached up and pulled her close to him, his one hand on her back, the other holding her head on his shoulder, letting her cry on his white shirt. She hears him let out a quiet shushing noise, trying to comfort her in the way she had needed for so long. She cried for so long that she didn’t know how much time passed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he whispers when she finally stops crying, not moving from their position. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She never told anyone about the stuff with her mom. Ellie had been holding it in for years, going from friend to friend, place to place, never letting this out with anyone who wasn’t her younger brother, the one person who would understand and who she knew also understood what it was like.

But there was something about Quinn. She thought she could trust him, for whatever reason. She never told her ex-boyfriends in college or high school, despite the fact that this had been going on since then.

Ellie takes in a deep breath. “The only people who know this are me, my mom, and my brother, do you understand?” she asks him, watching him nod. “It started, I think, when my dad left. I was probably 10? Alex was 6, maybe? I don’t even remember, honestly. This probably started before Dad left, Alex and I think it’s why he left. But our mother is absolutely shit when it comes to money. Like, put us in debt every few months that then somehow fell to us as her children to bail her out.”

“God,” Quinn lets out, Ellie continuing over him.

“I think we realized it was getting bad when she told us we were moving somewhere smaller right before I was starting high school, out of the blue, when we had already moved to ‘somewhere smaller’ three times in four years. Normally she said she had been planning it because we, of course, needed somewhere to live, and she didn’t like where we were, but that was weird. I didn’t realize it was because we had been evicted every single time until I found the seven eviction notices my second year of high school from the last three times and a notice that we were getting evicted that year, too.”

“Ellie, I’m so sorry,” he tells her, pulling her back in for a hug.

She sighed, knowing that there was nothing more he could say. “At this point it’s normal, it’s just still frustrating when she tells me and Alex that she’s fine and that she has the money for everything, and then out of nowhere, tells us she hasn’t paid the rent for her current place in four months. Like, do you know what it’s like to have your mother owe you nearly a hundred thousand dollars because of how much she keeps needing?”

“I can’t even imagine.” The two of them sit in silence for a moment, neither of them sure what to do next.

“I’m glad you can’t. It fucking sucks,” she says, turning back to her vanity mirror. “God, I don’t even want to go to this stupid party anymore.”

“Hey, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can stay here, we can go to my place, we can go somewhere else, we can do anything.”

“We?”

“I don’t want to leave you, Ellie. I came tonight because I wanted to spend time with you,” Quinn tells her, taking her hand in his. “If you’ll let me, I’ll take you wherever you want.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Ellie, I want to be with you.”

___________________

“Kendyl, I told you, I’m hanging out with Quinn and the rest of the guys tonight.”

“Can I please come?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But you’re dating the captain of the fucking Vancouver Canucks. You have to bring your best friend along with you.”

“Alexander can’t come tonight either.”

“Ok, rude.”

Ellie was already nervous about meeting Quinn's teammates. It had taken a while for her to wrap her head around that he was not only a hockey player, but a professional one, and the actual captain of the team. Honestly, she didn’t see it coming. She had heard so much about Elias and Brock that she felt like she knew them at this point. She hadn’t even met them. As close as she had gotten to Kendyl in the last six months she spent at her job, and as much time as they spent together outside of work when she wasn’t with Quinn, she didn’t need Kendyl mixed into the group.

“Let me meet them first, then we can talk about you meeting them, ok?” she tries to assure her, hearing a knock at her door. “I’ve gotta go, Quinn is here.”

She hangs up on Kendyl before she can protest, slightly worried that she would use the ‘Find my friends’ feature to just stalk the house they were going to and end up on the doorstep uninvited.

“Hi,” she opens the door, stopping for a second to take him in. God, she hated how hard she fell for him in a short amount of time. He was perfect to her at that moment.

He pulled her in for a kiss, one that made her wish they were staying in rather than heading to spend time with his friends. “Hi,” he whispers, kissing her again before pulling away. “You look amazing, as always.”

“I’m wearing jeans and a sweater,” she counters.

“And?” He could say anything to her with that stupid smile on his face and make her swoon. “Ready?”

They head out to his car, Ellie’s heart racing as they get closer and closer to Thatcher’s house. She wasn’t great with meeting large groups of people all at once, despite being in a new school nearly every year of her awkward teenage years and being forced to interact with new people every time.

“Hey,” Quinn says, resting his hand on her thigh as he drives down the highway, giving her a gentle squeeze to try to calm her down. “You’re going to like the guys. And they’re going to love you.”

“Yeah?” she says, her voice shaking slightly.

“How could they not?” he asks, taking her hand and bringing to his lips, his eyes glued to the road in front of them so he couldn’t see her melting at his words and his touch. “You’ll get along great with Elias.”

“He’s the one from Sweden?”

“Yeah,” Quinn tells her, pulling into the driveway of a house so massive Ellie wasn’t sure people could actually live in it. It was certainly bigger than anything she could have ever dreamed of being near, let alone being invited to. “He’s got kind of a dry humor. You’ll like him.”

Ellie takes in a deep breath, feeling incredibly inadequate just getting out of his car and standing on the pavement of a place like Thatcher’s house. Maybe she should have invited Kendyl.

Quinn takes her hand, pulling her along to the door when everything inside her was telling her to turn around and just run. There was no way she was good enough to be in this house, not with everything in her life, not when Quinn and his teammates had everything they could possibly want at the tips of their fingers.

He stops at the door, pulling her close to him, dropping her hand, and cupping her face to kiss her again, calming her immediately. “Hi,” he breathes when he pulls away.

“Hi again. What was that for?” she asked, his hands slipping down to her waist, sending a shiver through her entire body as he traced her sides.

“I’m going to want to do that so many times tonight, but I know the guys will tease us for it. I’ve gotta do what I can now.”

That shouldn’t have made her feel the way it did. He could say or do anything at this point and she would melt.

They go inside, the house loud and full of people despite Quinn telling her that it was just supposed to be a ‘small get-together.’ Everything in the house looked expensive, Ellie’s anxiety immediately spiking. She followed Quinn blindly through the house, all of his teammates talking to him and him introducing her to all of them while she stood there nearly mute over the sheer stimulus overload that was all around her. She barely noticed the drinks that found their way in hers and Quinn's hands, drinking once she saw Quinn drinking it, as well.

“Elias is right over here,” he whispers in her ear, his hand still in hers and giving her a reassuring squeeze as he leads her off into one of the side rooms. The room was quieter, the lights dimmer, and had a lot less people than any of the other rooms.

“You got here half an hour ago and you’re just making it in here?” one of the guys asks as she and Quinn sit next to each other on the couch. “Ellie, you have to get him to go faster through the greetings next time. I cannot be left alone with Brock for this long.”

She looks at Quinn, confused as to how they already know her name.

“You know I have to say hi to everyone, I’m captain.”

“As captain, you should be able to do one big greeting and let that be it so you can seclude yourself in a separate room where you don’t have to talk to everyone else,” one of the other guys said.

“Every time you talk, Brock, you add more to the long list of why you would make a horrible captain.”

“I would be a great captain.”

“Elias, Brock, jeez.”

“You know you can’t leave us alone for too long.”

Ellie gets lost in their conversation, not even being able to contribute to what they were saying because their verbal sparring is so fast and so specific to their history with each other, she wouldn’t even know where to begin. Quinn puts his arm around her, pulling her closer to him by her waist. He looks at her while Brock and Elias continue bickering, smiling at her and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

The guys interrupt them, jeering and teasing them to the point where Ellie has her face buried in Quinn’s shoulder, trying to hide from the embarrassment. “So, Ellie, what do you see in El Capitan here?” Brock asks, giving the most obnoxious facial expression possible.

“You do not have to answer that,” Elias tells her. “Brock has no idea how to interact with anyone, just ignore him.”

“That’s not true.”

“You thought a good pick up line to use on a girl was ‘you dropped something, my jaw,’ the other night and then were shocked when she just turned and walked away,” Elias says, earning a laugh from Ellie and Quinn.

“You have definitely taken a girl out on a date and then talked about yourself the entire time,” Quinn adds, Brock shrinking further into his seat.

“You look like the kind of guy that would go to a bookstore and pretend to look lost to see if a girl would talk to you,” Ellie adds, sending the guys into a frenzy.

“He wouldn’t have to pretend to be lost,” Elias says, poking a pouting Brock in the leg. “You should come around more, Ellie.”

“She’s spent too much time with Quinn already,” Brock whines, Quinn pulling her so she’s practically in his lap, kissing her cheek.

“I told you,” he whispers, just loud enough for only her to hear. “I need you to come around more, too.” Ellie turns to him, her cheeks burning before they both burst out laughing. “That sounded horrible.”

The four of them fall into an easy conversation, the three boys doing everything they can to make Ellie feel included, not shying away from teasing her like they were each other earlier. She felt comfortable.

Ellie eventually excused herself to go to the bathroom and get more drinks for her and Quinn, the alcohol finally hitting her. She barely finds her way back to the room the guys were in, Thatcher’s house seeming much bigger now that she wasn’t sober and much harder to navigate without Quinn taking her around.

She didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, standing on other side of the opening without them seeing her.

“Brock, I swear, if brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t be able to blow your fucking nose,” she hears Elias say, stiffling a laugh as Brock mumbles something about not meaning to spill his drink on Elias.

“Anyway,” Quinn grunts, sounding like he was getting off the floor.

“Ellie is awesome, by the way,” Elias says, Ellie sure she missed some sort of segue that could have led the conversation from Brock to Ellie.

“She’s snarky,” Brock adds, Ellie hearing a smack and Brock letting out a cough. “That’s not a bad thing.”

“I met her by accident but I cannot think about what it would be like without her now,” she hears Quinn say, Ellie trying to figure out if she actually heard him right. That sounded like he was much more serious about her than she thought he was.

“Woah, Quinn,” Elias says. “You met her a few months ago.”

“God, I know,” she hears Quinn let out. “But you know how you just know sometimes? You run into this person one day and they just make your life better?”

“You guys made my life worse since I met you,” Brock mutters. “I say goodnight to her every night and I can’t wait until I can say good morning to her the next day.”

“You’re a simp.”

“Can you blame me? She’s perfect.”

Ellie finally enters the room, trying her best to pretend that she didn’t just hear everything Quinn told his friends, the ones he told her he would trust with anything. It had to mean something that they already knew who she was before coming and that he could tell them those things unprovoked.

Quinn lights up at the sight of her, giving her another kiss and wrapping his arms around her when she sits down. “You took a bit,” he comments.

“This house is confusing,” she lies.

Elias and Brock continue to bicker while ignoring Ellie and Quinn. Ellie eventually finishes her drink, along with the third one that Brock had managed to hand off to her at some point, sinking down so her head was in Quinn’s lap.

“How often do you think about the future?”

“I mean, I’m normally thinking about what I’m making for my next meal once I finish the one I’m eating.”

Ellie groans, their hands intertwined and in constant movement, suddenly regretting how much they had both had to drink. She looks up at him, a smile on her face despite the look on his that told her he had absolutely no thoughts behind those eyes. “Like, us in the future. Our future.”

“Huh,” Quinn starts, “I don’t know. I like us right now where we are.”

Ellie nods, trying to hide the disappointment that she felt. Why could he tell Elias and Brock what he thought about her, but not tell her? He hadn’t even called her his girlfriend to her face, yet. Were they even boyfriend and girlfriend yet? Was it too early to even ask, or should she even ask at all?

They were staying over at Thatcher’s house at this point, neither of them in the position to drive, Elias and Brock electing to stay on the couches. Quinn pulls her up and kisses her, a yawn escaping her after he pulls away. “Want to head to bed? Thatch said we can snag one of the guest rooms.”

Ellie nodded, Quinns hand in hers as he lead her down the hallway. She should be nervous, the first night they were spending together completely unplanned and in one of his teammates house instead of somewhere special.

But it was with Quinn.

She was fine.

___________________

“When are you going to be ready?”

“When I am.”

“You’re taking way too long.”

“I am not taking too long, you got ready too quickly.”

“Kendyl, I took an hour to get ready to meet Quinn and his friends, and you started getting ready before I got here,” Ellie groans, lying down on Kendyl’s bed. The group chat Ellie had with Quinn and the guys was blowing up, asking where Ellie and Kendyl were. After meeting Kendyl a while back, Quinn was convinced she would be the person to set Brock straight. Ellie wasn’t convinced, but what was the harm of introducing them?

“I’m meeting a Canuck, tonight, El, I have to look good.”

Ellie sits up, looking at Kendyl in her mirror. She knew her friend was nervous. No matter what she could say, nothing would change. “I promise you, you could wear nothing more than a trash bag and Brock would be drooling over you.”

Kendyl took a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

“Ken, you’re beautiful. You’re funny. You can verbally spar with anyone to get what you want at any time. If you decide you want something to happen with Brock, there’s no way he wouldn’t agree to it.”

Kendyl nods, finally getting up and grabbing Ellie’s hand and her coat to drag her out the door.

“Are we sure we’re going to have fun?” Kendyl asks, the shaking in her voice something Ellie had never seen before.

“You sound like me now.” It was still winter in Vancouver, the below freezing temperatures combined with the warmest bar appropriate outfits they had not enough to actually keep them warm as they walked through the city to meet all of the guys.

“What are they like? I only know Quinn.”

Ellie has to stop and think for a moment. How did she even begin to describe them? “I think you just have to wait and see. Quinn is nothing like them.”

“Oh, my god, you hate your boyfriend's friends.”

“No, what?” Ellie asks, unable to hide her laughter. “I really like his friends. I’m getting closer with Elias and Brock is definitely good for a laugh when you need it.”

Kendyl nods, both of them shivering as they walk. Quinn had such a warm jacket, Ellie thought back to the night the two of them met. She wouldn’t have been able to see herlife with Quinn coming. She thought Kendyl was just an annoying coworker, Quinn would be just a hook up, and that she would end up having to move home because of her mom and Alex. She never thought it would be this.

They get to the bar after feeling like they were walking forever, Quinn making a beeline to Ellie as soon as they made eye contact. “God, I’m happy you’re here,” he slurs, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Wow, you’re already drunk,” she points out, trying to push him away slightly. Quinn had told her they were going into a break in the season, so getting drunk was necessary. She had seen him a little drunk, more tipsy than anything, but never like this, and never in public. “Let’s get you some water, babe.”

Quinn lets out a giggle, slinging his arm around Ellie while she focuses on him instead of getting Kendyl over to Brock. She looks around the bar for her friend, or at least one of the guys to hopefully help her make sure he doesn’t go much farther than he already was with the alcohol.

“Ellie, right?” she hears from behind her as she sets Quinn down at the booth in the back where the rest of the guys were seated. She turns around, one of the new guys in the office standing behind her, glass of beer in hand.

“Uh, yeah, hey. Dylan, right?”

“Declan, actually,” he corrects her, a quick apology escaping her lips. “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, I just saw Kendyl over by the bar and she mentioned you were here. I wanted to say hi.”

Even though it was darker in the bar, Ellie swears she saw him blushing, fidgeting and acting nervous in front of her. The guys didn’t seem to notice she was even standing there, but Declan seemed to be trying to take in everything about her.

“Are you here with anyone?” she asks, feeling Quinn pull her into his lap, Ellie falling without an ounce of grace down towards him. “Sorry, this is my boyfriend, Quinn, and some of his friends.”

“Uh, hi,” he says, Ellie feeling Quinns arms wrap tighter around her as Declan talks, “I’m here with my roommate, but I lost him about half an hour ago.”

“You should join us then,” Quinn says, moving him and Ellie further into the booth to make room for Declan. The tone in his voice told her he really didn’t want to do that.

Kendyl finally comes back with drinks, Quinn taking the beer that was meant for Ellie and downing it much faster than he should have. Brock was already captivated by Kendyl as soon as she sat down, Elias rolling his eyes as he was making a fool of himself, Kendyl finding it weirdly endearing.

“So, Deacon,” Quinn starts, much louder than he should have been. “How do you know my girlfriend?”

“Uh,” Declan says, as caught off guard by Quinn’s sudden shift in mood as Ellie is, “I work with her. Just started about a month ago.”

Quinn nods. “What did you do before this?”

“I was a nurse in the ICU at Vancouver General.”

“Couldn’t handle it, Derek?”

“Quinn, what?” Ellie scoffs.

Declan coughs, clearly getting uncomfortable fast. “It was a lot, so no. I liked helping people, but seeing traumatic thing after traumatic thing takes a toll on you really fast. So I went back to school and ended up with Ellie and Kendyl.”

“Ah, a college degree.”

“Quinn,” Ellie hissed. She didn’t like where this was going, Quinn holding on to Ellie like he was marking his territory.

“I actually don’t have my degree, yet.”

“Interesting thing to brag about?” Declan says, nervously sipping on his beer.

“Well, it’s hard to finish when you get called up to play with the Canucks, you know?”

Declan shrugs. “Is that the CFL team? I don’t follow sports.”

Ellie gets off Quinns lap, pushing Declan aside and dragging Quinn along with her. She didn’t need to hear what Quinn was going to say next. He was starting to act like a jackass and she didn’t want to see more.

The two of them end up outside, the cold hitting Ellie like a slap in face. “What is wrong with you? He wasn’t doing anything for you to act like that to him.”

“I don’t like him,” Quinn pouts.

“You just met him.”

“I don’t like people who are trying to take my girl.”

Ellie can’t help but scoff. “‘Take your girl?’ What, am I your property? Did you get a good dowry? How many sheep did you have to give my family in exchange for your hand?”

Quinn rolls his eyes. “Come on, Ellie.”

“No, Quinn, you come on. He wasn’t hitting on me. He doesn’t even know me to like me.”

“Of course he likes you, Ellie, look at you.” Quinn takes a step closer to her, suddenly getting softer towards her. “You’re so pretty. You’re so smart. You know what to do with everything.”

“If he likes me, that doesn’t matter,” Ellie snaps, still annoyed with him. “I don’t like him. I like you. I’m dating you. That should be enough for you to not act like an asshole towards him.”

Quinn hangs his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be saying that to him.”

The two of them stand there in the cold in silence, Ellie not wanting to budge and Quinn wanting her to go with him. “Come with me?”

Ellie bites her lip, her mood ruined because of him in just a short amount of time. “I think I’m going to go home. I’m tired, anyway.”

“Let me walk you?” Just like the night they met.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll let you know when I’m back.”

They stand there for another moment, Quinn making the first move to pull Ellie in for a kiss. “I love you, Ellie.”

Ellie hadn’t been thinking about love with him yet. She wasn’t there yet. “Goodnight, Quinn,” she told him, turning and walking away, leaving him there on the sidewalk.

___________________

“Have you ever loved anyone?”

“Uh, you.”

“Not that kind of love, idiot.”

“Oh, um. I was in love with Tess Virtue for a while there.”

“While I get that, I still don’t mean that kind of love, Alex.”

Alex laughs on the other end of the call, Ellie getting ready for work while he got ready for class. “El, you’re the other sister here, aren’t I supposed to be asking you this?”

Ellie and Quinn were in a weird place since Ellie left that night. She had hoped that Quinn was too drunk to remember that he had told her loved her and Ellie’s response was just to walk away. She didn’t know if she was in love with him. She knew she wanted to be with him. She didn’t know if she loved him.

“I mean,” Ellie starts, not sure where to go.

“Are you and Quinn ok?” Ellie tells her brother everything that happened, Alex staying silent for a few seconds after she finished. “Ellie, you did this last time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Not to go psychology major on you,” Alex says, earning a groan from his sister, “But I think you’re more messed up from Dad leaving than you like to admit you are. You have what sounds like a solid relationship with this guy but you’re afraid that if you let him love you and you let yourself love him, that he’s going to leave just like Dad did. He left us with Mom and we never got that love back.”

Ellie takes a deep breath. “Jesus. At least I know your degree is worth it.”

“I could be wrong. I’m only six semesters into this degree, after all.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, El.”

Everything goes back to her parents. There’s no reason she couldn’t love Quinn.

She was in a daze on her commute to the office. Does she love him? Regardless of Alex’s psychoanalysis, even if their dad leaving them with their mom made her think anyone who would love her would leave, is she able to love him?

She wanted to be with him, but she didn’t know what it was like to love him.

“You look horrible,” Kendyl says, Declan trying not to make eye contact with her at their little desk clump, probably trying to not agree.

“Thank you, for that,” Ellie huffs, dropping her bag on the floor before she falls into her chair. “I just had a weird morning. Don’t really want to talk about it.”

The morning passes by in a blur, the menial tasks of her job at least giving Ellie something to take her mind off Quinn. Anytime her mind would start to wander, anytime she thought about him in any way, she would just switch back to work mode and force herself to do whatever it is she needed to do.

“Hey,” Ellie thinks she hears from behind her, someone sounding just like Quinn. She ignored it, figuring it was just her imagination and her officially losing her mind over what was going on in her relationship. “Babe?”

Ellie jumps, thoroughly surprised that Quinn was actually standing behind her. “I thought you were leaving for Florida today.”

Quinn pulls her up, kissing her hello, a soft look on his face that told Ellie that everything was ok. “We leave in a few hours, so I wanted to come by and surprise you. Do you have a minute?”

Ellie nods, following Quinn down to the lobby of the building. She knew that if she went somewhere in the office, Kendyl would probably have her ear glued to the other side of the wall of whatever room they were in to try to listen to their conversation.

“So, you don’t love me,” Quinn lets out slowly, pausing a little between each word, breaking Ellie’s heart each time.

“God,” she lets out.

“It’s ok.” They stand in silence, what they had with each other when they first met already somehow dying off between them. “I’m ok.”

“I want to love you. You know I have other things going on that are messing with my mind. You know me.”

Quinn rolls his eyes, Ellie taking a step back. “What, the stuff with your mom?” Ellie gives him a small nod. “You can’t keep using that as an excuse, Ellie,” he snaps.

Ellie recoils at his words, the person in front of her not the same one who told her would always be there for her when she needed him, that he would help if she would let him and that he wanted to be there, for her and with her, for everything. This was someone who wouldn’t do any of that. “It’s not an excuse. It’s my life, Quinn. You grew up never having to worry about coming home from school and learning that the lights were turned off, or getting scared that the heat would get cut off in the middle of the winter, or that you were two days away from living in a car,” she nearly yells at him, catching him off guard. “I’m sorry that it messed me up and I’m trying to fix it and at least be honest with you about it because I want to be with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, you idiot. I want to be with you. But I don’t know what it’s like to be loved by someone who stays. I don’t know what it’s like to love someone who wants to stay. I think I love you, but I don’t think that my work is the place to figure it out.”

Quinn smiles at her, hugging her and holding her tight, every part of her relaxing as he does so. “That’s all I need. That’s all I want.”

___________________

“Ok, if we have to stay all night, then we’re ordering food.”

“I never agreed to staying all night.”

“Ellie, we have to get this done before we go home.”

“Yeah, but I have plans tonight. I’m not staying all night, extra pay or not.”

Declan groans, a stupid smile on his face. “Are you driving to these plans tonight?”

Ellie gets a bad feeling in her stomach, one that puts a smile on her face regardless. This project had forced them together much more often than Quinn probably would have liked if he found out. The client was demanding it be done three weeks faster than anticipated,which meant they had to get it done before Monday. “Nope. Why?” Declan gets up from the table the two of them and Kendyl are sitting at in the conference room to give them more space to spread out, running over to his desk and yanking one of the drawers open. “Dex, what are you doing?” Ellie calls.

The three of them had already been in the office much longer than everyone else, the rest of their colleagues having left early for the weekend while the three of them stayed behind.

Ellie had plans with Quinn that night for the first time in a while.

“Getting this,” Declan says, pulling her out of the spiraling thoughts she was having about her relationship.

He holds up three plastic red cups and a bottle of rum, the one alcohol that Ellie could stomach without any mixer, a sociopathic tendency as Kendyl would call it. “Why is that there?” Kendyl asks.

Declan shrugs, popping open the bottle with ease and pouring way more than a single shot into each of the cups. “One of the clients gave it to me as a thank you.”

“We never get alcohol as a thank you,” Ellie scoffs, Kendyl agreeing.

“Men,” Kendyl rolls her eyes.

Declan laughs, raising his cup to Ellie and clinking it against hers, downing it in a few seconds as he watches Ellie do the same. Both of them cough, the liquid burning down their throats much more than they were expecting, neither of them breaking eye contact with each other while forgetting Kendyl was there with them. “Alright, we work until we’re done. We refill when we need to.”

Ellie smiles at him, the warmth of the alcohol already coursing through her. Her phone starts buzzing, a call coming in from someone whose contact she can’t quite make out. “No phones.”

The three of them get to work, the sun setting without them realizing it as their phones keep buzzing over and over again. They weren’t even entirely sure what the project was that their boss was asking of them, but then again, when were they ever?

They had to have been working for at least two hours straight without moving, feeling like they hadn’t even made a dent in the amount of tasks they had for the project. “I need to go home,” Kendyl groans, rubbing her hands over her face.

“We need to finish this,” Ellie points out.

“We need more alcohol.” Declan gets up, already somehow emptying the bottle into their three cups. He winks at Ellie, yet again ignoring Kendyl and sending a chill down Ellie’s spine before heading back out of the conference room without another word.

Kendyl squeals once he’s out of earshot, shaking Ellie’s arm. “Oh, my god, he is so obsessed with you.”

“He is not,” Ellie insists, the heat running to her cheeks at the thought of her coworker liking her. She’s dating Quinn. Dating a coworker is out of the question. Dating Delcan isn’t even a thought.

“Ellie, I’m not even here when he’s around. You two are flirting so much.”

“I’m not sure you know what flirting is.”

“What about Quinn?”

Ellie’s stomach churned at his name. “Quinn and I are fine,” she tells Kendyl, trying to ignore how high her voice got involuntarily.

“El.”

“Ken.”

“You’re lying to me.” Ellie bites her lip, hating that Kendyl knew her well enough to tell. “What’s going on with you two? You were off last time I saw you together.”

Ellie sees Declan out of the corner of her eye shifting around the desks outside the conference room. “I have no idea.” Kendyl stays silent, Ellie feeling like she has to fill the space. “We see each other less and less now, part of it because of both our jobs right now.”

“Well, that makes sense, that happens.”

“But when we do spend time together, we don’t say anything. We barely talk anymore at all. It’s like we ran out of things to say.”

“Who has nothing to say?” Declan interrupts, plopping down in his chair with another bottle of rum.

“Ellie and Quinn. Why do you have another bottle?” Kendyl asks.

“I have many bottles. Who’s Quinn?”

“Ellie’s boyfriend.”

Declan just nods, giving Ellie an uneasy feeling as they both take a sip of their drinks again, the eye contact between them mixed with the alcohol making her mind spin. “We’re just going through a weird phase right now. We’ll get through it.”

Kendyl recaps what Ellie told her, unprompted, to Declan, who infuriatingly just sits there, the alcohol making him look way too attractive for Ellie’s liking. “You don’t want my opinion, do you?” he asks.

“Kendyl gives me hers all the time when I don’t want it, you might as well give yours.”

“You’re both busy. That happens.”

“See?” Ellie prods Kendyl.

“But,” Declan starts again, Kendyl sticking her tongue out at Ellie like a child, “Being busy could also mean not being willing to make time for each other.”

Ellie took in a deep breath, hating what he was saying. It wasn’t like he said that much, but he said enough. The room suddenly felt too small, the work too overwhelming, the alcohol hitting her all at once. “I’m going to go to the bathroom,” she says, practically running out of the room.

Are she and Quinn not making enough time for each other? Are they just ending their relationship without saying that it’s over? She didn’t think she wanted to break up with him, but at this point, what was staying with him doing for her?

Ellie looks at herself in the mirror. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol distorting her perception of herself or if it was the mirror that probably hadn’t been cleaned in a while, but she didn’t look like herself. She looked off. She had felt off for a while, but she had no idea why.

Was it because of Quinn? Ellie had heard that to be loved was to be changed, but what happens when you don’t like how you’ve changed? How much should she fight to get things back to the way there were when they first started seeing each other? What has to happen for her to just give up instead?

“Hey, sorry,” Declan startles Ellie, causing her to lose her balance and stumble against the sink. “I’m sorry that I upset you.”

“No, uh,” Ellie starts, wiping a tear from her cheek she didn’t even know had fallen, “You didn’t upset me.”

“Can I ask you something?” Declan’s voice is gentle as he takes a step closer to you, waiting for her to nod. “If you aren’t happy, why are you still with him?”

Ellie shrugs, not wanting to look at him. If she looks, she’ll fall apart. “I love him. I do. He knows me better than anyone. I’ve told him things I haven’t told anyone outside of my family, not even Kendyl. But sometimes,” she takes in a breath, her voice shaking. “Sometimes I wonder if it was all for nothing. We have no time for each other anymore. I see Kendyl more than I see him.”

“Ellie,” he says, his voice low as he steps closer to her. She was sure he could hear her heart racing.

She was dating Quinn.

Quinn.

“Oh, fuck,” Ellie practically yells. “What time is it?”

“Uh, 8:30.”

“Quinn was picking me up at 8:15.” Ellie runs from the bathroom, leaving Declan calling after her. She grabs her stuff from the conference room without saying a word to Kendyl.

She hears Declan in the background, calling after her as she runs down the stairs, dropping things in the stairwell that she doesn’t bother to pick up. She was rattled, Quinn already waiting for what had now become twenty minutes without her so much as texting him back the entire time.

Declan catches up to her, everything she’s dropped in his hands when she bursts through the front door of the building, Quinn’s car at the curb with him leaning against it scrolling on his phone. He looks up, his eyes going between his disheveled girlfriend and the one guy that she talked to that he was worried about, equally out of breath and carrying her things, both of them looking panicked.

He could tell Ellie was drunk. He knew she was drinking with him.

“What is this, Ellie?” he asks, trying to keep a calm tone in his voice as best as he can.

Ellie starts stammering, the alcohol not helping her at all. “We were doing that project I told you about, we lost track of time. I know I’m late but I wasn’t looking at my phone so we could finish as fast as possible.”

Quinn takes in a deep breath, looking up to the sky so he didn’t have to see her reaction to what he was about to say. “Ellie, I know he likes you. I told you likes you the night I met him. And, I know you like him, even if you don’t realize it yet. What am I doing here?”

Ellie steps toward him, her legs starting to shake as she tried to process what he was saying. “Quinn, you’re taking me out. You said we were meeting the guys tonight.”

“No, Ellie. I am. You’re gonna stay here.You’re gonna finish the project. You’re going to spend the night with Declan. You should be with someone who has time for you.”

“Quinn.”

“We’ve both been busy. We’ve both had way too many things going on to focus on each other. We deserve better. You deserve better.”

“Quinn,” she repeats, standing right in front of him. She reaches up to his cheek, him leaning into her touch as he finally looks at her. “What are you saying?”

“You know, Ellie.”

They stand there, forgetting Declan behind them and ignoring the world around them. Quinn cups her cheeks, kissing her like he did the very first time. “Bye, Eleanor.”

“Bye, Quinn,” Ellie whispers, not wanting to let go.

Everything happened so fast. Ellie stood on the curb, wanting to drop her things right on the sidewalk and chase after him as he got in his car and drove away. She didn’t move as Declan came up behind her, gently putting his arm around her to try to comfort her. She didn’t hear him say that he wanted to get her back inside so that Kendyl could be with her, so that she’d have someone she trusted to talk to after what just happened.

She just stood there.

___________________

Quinn was miserable. The guys were all with their partners, while Quinn sat in the middle with no one by his side. All he had was the beer in front of him that he didn’t even want to drink.

He should be happy. They were already having a great season. They had already secured a playoff spot. The team was playing to have fun and winning was coming because of it.

Brock comes up to him with Kendyl, the two of them still going strong. Quinn liked Kendyl, but seeing her still reminded him of Ellie, even if the two of them didn’t work together anymore.

“Come on, buck up. There are plenty of girls here that you could at least talk to,” Brock tries to encourage him.

Quinn just shrugs him off, slowly turning the glass of beer around on the table. He wasn’t in the mood to be there, but there was no way the guys would let him leave this early.

Brock leaves to get another round of drinks, Kendyl staying behind. “She’s doing ok, you know,” she says, barely above a whisper.

Quinn sighs. “I miss her.”

Kendyl puts her hand on his shoulder, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I know.”

They sit for a moment, both of them unsure what to say next. What do you say to someone who was still broken over something that should have never shattered in the first place?

“Hey, isn’t that that Dexter guy you work with?” Elias comes over and asks, pointing to the other side of the bar.

Quinn feels the air escape his lungs, Ellie and Declan together, Declan holding on to her as a guy moved past them, pressing their bodies against each other. She didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to drape her arms on his shoulders, getting up on her toes to kiss him, their foreheads pressed together when they pull away while they looked at each other like they were the only people in the world.

“She’s happy,” Kendyl says.

“She’s happier,” Quinn corrects her, his heart breaking at the fact that he couldn’t do that for her.

#winter fic exchange 2024 #quinn hughes #quinn hughes one shot #quinn hughes fic #vancouver canucks #canucks

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 10 months

Note

so happy for you about the qpr!! that’s just wonderful news! wishing u all the best <3

Thankyou! I truly appreciate your sweet words.

I want to use this as an opportunity to talk about how this non-traditional relationship came to be - mostly because I love talking about him, but also because I feel queerplatonic relationships need to be talked about more!

So, what is a queerplatonic relationship? It isn’t really one specific type of relationship with a strictly defined set of rules or boundaries. It is an umbrella term for “non-romantic significant-other relationships”… so, emotionally intimate relationships that fall neither into the category of a “typical romantic relationship” nor into the category of a “typical platonic friendship”. This is not so much about behavior but about the feelings of the people involved. The way one queerplatonic relationship looks like (activities, language, touch, future planning etc.) can be completely different from the next, it’s all about what works for you!

The term “queerplatonic relationship” (or qpr) originated in the aromantic community, but you don’t need to be aromantic to be in one.

I am not aromantic, Alex (name changed for privacy) is. When we met, I didn’t know that yet. We met online. Not on a dating app, we just found each other over shared interests, so romance wasn’t on my mind. We became online friends and found out we actually live close to each other. As time went on, I felt like there was a lot of chemistry and some mutual attempts of awkward flirting, so I decided to ask him on a date. And he said yes!

We grew closer, my feelings for him grew and quite honestly, in the deep corners of my heart it was already a fact that we would become a couple. We didn’t call each other boyfriend yet but it was only a matter of making it official. Really just a matter of asking… and so it hit me like a brick when I scrolled through social media and saw him coming out as aromantic.

I’ll admit that I didn’t handle it well. I felt blindsided by him not telling me directly and carried this feeling into our conversation about it which led to it not going well. I should’ve given him time to explain and given us space to figure out together what this means for us. If I did, I would’ve learned that it was a new realization for him as well and that he himself was not sure yet what it meant - but I didn’t. I jumped to assumptions and felt bitter about them.

After fruitless discussions turned into a fight, we made the hard decision to stop talking. We were both heartbroken about it but it just seemed like a situation with no solution. He didn’t want a traditional romantic relationship, I didn’t want a traditional friendship. We did briefly talk about a queerplatonic relationship but we both couldn’t imagine how that’d work. Would that essentially just be a traditional relationship/friendship by a different name?

For two weeks, I cried into my ice cream. Kept checking his social media secretly even though we mutually agreed to unfollow each other before the split. Went back on dating apps and went out on a virtual date with the first poor guy who said yes and hated every second of it. Texted Alex about it in some shitty attempt to make him jealous. Cried some more. Until I found a list in my notes that I had made months earlier, with all the things I like about him.

This list made me think I can’t lose him like this - I’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all. I sent him the list and was relieved to learn that he missed me just as much. After some (much more mature) discussion, we agreed to just be platonic friends.

One of the first “normal ” conversations we had after our split - normal meaning a topic that wasn’t related to attraction or identity or relationship status - was just us talking about a tv show he used to watch as a kid. This has become a fond memory of a realization that is hard to put in words: I’ve always been someone who wants clear definitions and labels. But there’s beauty in things being undefined as well. In that moment, we weren’t a specific label. We were just us. And us, our unique dynamic, is what I fell in love with - regardless of how we name it.

So, we named it friends and that worked great. But one thing kept bothering me: With a friend, even a best friend, it’d be silently assumed that you may pursue other people romantically. You can have a best friend and a boyfriend, you’re not taken by your best friend. This wasn’t a matter of jealousy - Alex wasn’t interested in pursuing other people romantically anyway and I don’t mind that he has other close friends. This was about me, not him. I didn’t want this to be a situation where I’m assumed to potentially pursue others. I want to be taken because that’s how I feel. I’m not open to dating someone else, Alex is my significant other even when it’s not a traditional romantic relationship.

I reached out to other aromantic people online and talked to them about these feelings. They encouraged me to talk to him about this and suggest an individually defined relationship to him - one that isn’t based in romance but has the level of commitment I feel. Communication is key, they said, you two can set your own rules.

And that’s exactly what we did! I wrote him a letter and put these feelings to paper, and asked him if he wants to have an individually defined relationship with me, be my friend I’m in love with and am committed to, and he said yes!

(We don’t usually use the term queerplatonic in our everyday conversations, I just use it as a practical umbrella term here - we like to keep it a undefined unique relationship status)

#lgbt+#lgbt

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displ3azant · 8 days

Text

(Before cut is In-Character.)

Hiii! Helloooo!

Hello!!!!!! Hehe, thiz iz actually super weird trying to write an intro-- give me a minute.

So, HIII!!!!!!! I'm Unpleasant! That'z not a joke, that iz literally my name. There'z no "deep reason" behind it, it iz literally just what people refer to me az. But, if that'z too weird, I do also go by Unplez or Plez for short.

Uh, pronounz? I don't really care, actually. I don't have a set gender, I've never really met a gradient who doez. That being said, since I started hanging with Infected I have been called he and she specifically a lot... so if it'z easiest for you, just roll with the crowd.

Right, so... the blog. Thatz thiz blog, haha! Well, the easy answer iz I waz super bored, Infected can suck a huge ####, and I like talking about myself! But... I kind of suck at talking in general, so I guess I'll type and answer questionz about myself.

BUT KNOW MY BOUNDARIEZ BEFORE YOU ASK QUESTIONZ! 👇👇👇

(Below cut is Out-Of-Character.)

To those who know me: Good to see you're still stickin' with me! I promise I will make an effort to make this blog much less of a dumpster fire like the last one.

And to those who are only now coming across this blog: Hello! My name is Hex. You don't have to call me "Mod Hex", or anything, just "Hex" will do. I'm the only guy running this thing here. I'll talk more about myself soon, because oversharing is what I do best.

Blog-Context

So, if it wasn't obvious enough from the intro, this is an ask/rp blog for the Unpleasant Gradient from Regretevator, but specifically in the context of the plez-centric au I have created for him. Or, well, the "AU" in question is actually just some freaky amalgamation of all my fucked up headcanons, which means...

I AM NO LONGER DOING DIRECT BLOG ASSOCIATIONS! Really sorry about that, I love my friends with all my heart but if I wanna keep consistency, I'm gonna have to "write the story" on my own. However, I do want to give full credit to my friends @sk8tr1101 and @party-noob for some major concepts involving Unpleasant, especially Audrey who already has some awesome ideas herself. Go check them both out!

MAIN TAGS:

#unpl3zansw3rz - Asks

#unpl3zrambl3z - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#unpl3zlor3 - Plot points and similar

#ooc - Out-of-character post

OTHER TAGS (to be updated):

(nothing yet, hehe)

Blog-Owner

So hiiii, I'm Hex. If I can be bothered, out-of-character posts will either have the #ooc tag, be in purple text, or be signed off with my name. I'd prefer if you refer to me using he/it pronouns, thnx!

I'd also like you all to keep in mind I am 17 years old, therefore a minor, and even if I wasn't 17 I do not appreciate NSFW/Explicit jokes towards me, ESPECIALLY if you don't know me. It's one thing when you're my very close friends or my partner, it's another thing when you are a stranger on the internet asking me things I should not have to answer.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @geometricgiovanni - a Jeremy ask/rp blog set in the same universe as this one! Please note, however, that in the context of this blog, Unpleasant is not aware of the blog nor would he like to be.

Ask/RP-Boundaries

Let's start off by reiterating that I AM NOT OKAY WITH NSFW/EXPLICIT ASKS IN ANY CAPACITY! Sick of getting them, they're repetitive and annoying. Asking safe-for-work questions involving Unpleasant's anatomy is one thing, but I am not responding to ANYTHING involving genetalia.

ALSO! I am very unlikely to respond to things that is either hard to make a unique drawing for or don't progress the story (unlocking "lore" and such). I'm watching your ass, Mango, I know what you like to do (/lh). Joke asks are still okay, you don't *have* to progress story, but please keep in mind my "criteria" for answering asks when sending them. A clean inbox gives me a clear mind. I do not like notifications.

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, I guess. Not exactly the direction I want to take things, though some storylines will involved implied ships. Don't push anything that isn't hinted at, and under no circumstances encourage proshipping or any kind of illegal pairing. If a ship is hinted toward that you personally do not like, then just block me and move on with your day.

Roleplaying: While I'd prefer to not be in direct contact with other rp blogs, I am totally cool with roleplaying side stories and stuff, interactions and such! Please keep in mind though, Unpleasant in this is not a very social person, so you're probably not going to get the reaction you want.

Also! I think OCs are super cool and am happy to respond/interact with them as well! However,

PLEASE DON'T SEND YOUR GRADIENT OCS TO THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT ME TO DRAW THEM! Please instead send them to @hexational! A lot of people were sending me their Gradient ocs to the previous Unpleasant account, and as much as I love seeing Gradient ocs and Gradient sonas, I'd love to be able to draw them, and if you are just asking an opinion on them and not an in-character ask or a genuine question involving other gradients I'd much prefer you send them to the account previously tagged!

That's pretty much all I can think of! Sorry for the long post, I just have a lot to say hehe

Lots of love, - Hex

#unpl3zansw3rz #unpl3zrambl3z #ic #ooc #ask blog #regretevator unpleasant #regretevator ask blog #regretevator infected #unpleasant gradient

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anzulvr · 1 month

Text

୨୧ On Purpose Karma x (fem) Reader || Chapter: 03 ୨୧

Prev || 03 Café Talks || next

— "Hi, How can we help you today?"

As [Name] and Karma enter the Café, they're greeted by Isogai. Karma winces as the realization of Isogai working there hits him like a ton of bricks. He can't believe he forgot such an important detail.

It's not Isogai he's worried about, if Karma asked him to, he'd keep things a secret. The problem arises if another one of his classmates are here and it somehow spreads to the main campus or even worse- Korosensei, who is known for getting overly involved in other peoples relationships.

A few tables away Nagisa is attempting to back track, "Are you sure we should be here? Don't you think this is too intrusive even for us..?"

"Nagisa, do you realize how much dirt the sadist has on everyone? This is our chance to get back at him so don't wimp out now."

"I am not wimping out! I think If we asked he'd-"

Rio whisper-shouts "Wait look! They're here!"

Karma scans the area, just in case. He chose the café since it's usually quiet, much like today. The only people here were the usual older ladies doting on Isogai trying to set him up with their grandchildren, and an unusual group of people decked in all black and sunglasses. He thought maybe they were coming back from a funeral.

"[Name], you go get us a table I'll order everything."

Name nods, grateful she doesn't have to carry the pressure of that.

Isogai leads Karma over to the register, thinking now is probably the best shot he has to ask any questions.

"Didn't realize you and [Name] are friends."

"She's the only person I talked to when I was in A class, aside from Nagisa."

"Ah makes sense, should I go ask her what she want's?"

"It's okay, [Name] orders the same thing every time, [favorite food + drink]."

"What about you?"

"Surprise me."

Isogai sweat drops "Are you sure? What if you don't like what I pick?"

"I'm sure, thanks Isogai."

"Anytime, have fun with your date..?"

"You won't tell Korosensei about this right? You know how he gets."

"I won't tell him." Isogai feels guilty, Korosensei would find out about this whether he kept his mouth shut or not.

He was in a tough position, he didn't want to lie to Karma but he didn't want to out four of his classmates and his teacher that would hear anything he whispered.

༉‧₊˚.

"The pudding is so good!" Kayano exclaimed cheerily.

"We know Kayano, keep it down!" Rio hushed her as she took her sunglasses off.

"I think we should get out of here." Nagisa piped up

Rio laughs "Go ahead, Karma's going to see you walk right out."

After shutting him up she then addresses Korosensei's uninvited presence, "If you're going to be here make yourself useful, put the pen down."

"But this is where my inspiration is most flowing..."

"I can’t see anything from here! We should move closer." suggests Hinano,

"No need for that, our job here is done."

"But we haven't heard anything." Rio questioned

"Did you forget I have an advanced sense of hearing?" Korosensei proudly announces before he continues

"Karma confirmed to Isogai it's a date and asked him not to let me find out moments ago! I don't understand why he wouldn't want me to know but that's not the focus..."

Hinano replies "Makes sense, I wouldn't want you knowing if I were him either."

༉‧₊˚.

Karma grabbed [Names] phone out of her hand, she gave him a half hearted smile. "Who's more important? Me or your phone."

She laughed as she snatched it back

"Sorry, it's Asano. He's been texting me about an event the student council is working on."

"I didn't hear anything about an event."

"I didn't mention it? I've been so stressed out about it I haven't even had time to complain. It's a tutoring group like we usually have but this time we're planning out the lessons beforehand with actual lecture presentations."

"If it's stressful just let them do everything."

She smiled "No way- Asano is such a control freak I think he'd show up at my door if I ignored the messages!"

[Name] pressed her lips together, she'd been wanting to ask Karma something for while but hadn't found a good moment, she figured now was as good as it could get,

"Are you still planning to stay in End Class? I miss having classes with you."

"I miss that too but I like End class, it's not as bad as everyone makes it sound."

"You have to hike up a hill every morning and get judged every time you walk near the main campus. What makes you want to stay?"

"For one, there's no Asano"

She cracked a smile "Hey! There's also no me."

If he wanted to stay, that was his decision. No matter how many times she told herself this she continued to spiral thinking about how everyone in her life was seemingly growing distant.

The explosion of the moon was a nasty reminder that nothing was here to stay. Everything she had today could be gone by tomorrow.

She didn't have any friends other than Kaho, who's been too busy for her. They haven't hung out alone in weeks because of how caught up Kaho has been in her relationships. If Kaho can grow distant in such a short amount of time whats to say Karma won't.

The more name thinks about it the more her voice grows anxiously.

"You won't consider it? Your grades are perfect, as long as you stop fighting they'll want you back."

"And if I don't feel like going back?"

"This isn't just what you feel, You're one of the smartest students- I don't want to watch your work go down the drain over some stupid fights."

"Stupid? if everyone in the main campus wasn't so stuck up, and the teachers weren't so conniving then there wouldn't be problems."

"Don't be like that, I know you're helping people but what's stopping you from coming back? You don't miss me? Why am I the only one who cares about that?"

Her eyes water, but she keeps the tears from falling.

"I do care about that, what reason have I given you to believe I don't?”

"You aren't thinking of me. I'm starting to doubt you ever do!"

[Name] doesn't know what she's talking about. Everything he's doing for her. She doesn't know her life is on the line and if he left E-class he'd have no control on the outcome. The words fall out before he can backtrack,

"I'm thinking about your future! I'm trying to make things better for everyone!"

"Staying there has everything to do with everyone but me!"

He bites his tongue. He's going to say too much if he continues.

He cares alot more than she realizes. He feels so desperate to assassinate Koro sensei because if they don't it won't just be him dying, it'll be [Name]- and the rest of the world too.

She scoffed, "You're pushing me away, the same way you did Nagisa."

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could utter a word, they realized someone was coming towards them.

"Karma, [Name]? Are you guys alright?" It was a familiar voice, concerned and hesitant.

"...sorry were we loud?" [Name's] anger fading into resignation.

Isogai sets their order down on the table,

"No, don't worry!" He smiles reassuringly, [Name] couldn't be sure if he was telling the truth or simply trying to not embarrass her.

"We're fine. [Names] just tired."

Karma takes a sip of the drink isogai picked "Matcha?"

Isogai nods with an awkward smile, he's not sure whether he should ignore the fact they were fighting a second ago or try helping, he decides they can fix it themselves.

"I'll leave you alone then, If you need anything else call me over!"

"Thank you Isogai."

Karma mimics her voice in the most exaggerated way "Thank you Isogaiii, don't leave yet Isogai!"

"I don't sound like that."

"You're right, you were smiling way more."

She scoffs in an attempt to hide her laugh, "You're so petty."

He shrugs, not able to deny it "Wanna try my drink?"

[Name] pulls his cup towards herself "I didn't know you liked Matcha."

"Me neither."

He noticed the confusion in her face as she furrowed her eyebrows but he ignored it wanting to get to the root of her problems before they re-escalated.

"[Name], I'm not replacing you or whatever else you've been telling yourself, but I'm set on staying in E-class."

"I know, but we haven't been seeing each other and you got new friends and it's getting to my head."

"If you want to be in the same class so badly just start failing until they throw you down with me."

[Name] deadpanned, her phone rang for the 5th time since they got there.

"Asano would probably stop annoying you too."

She knew he was kidding, but part of her was considering it.

"He wants me to meet with the rest of the council at the library in half an hour."

"Let's eat quickly then, we'll walk there together."

Twenty minutes later they picked up all their belongings getting ready to leave, when [Name] noticed a green haired girl nearly drooling at the sight of pudding options Isogai brought out from the back, she was hovered over the glass display- Nagisa was pulling her hand trying to get her back to their table.

Name pointed at the interaction "Karma, isn't that Nagisa with a girl over there?"

"Huh? Yeah- that's Kayano..." He trails off when he notices their strange outfit choices and it dawns on him. He looks over at the strange group from earlier and makes eye contact with Korosensei. He decides to hurry her out the door before she can catch wind of anything.

"[Name] let's go, you're going to be late."

"I want to say hi to Nagisa, and since when do you care about being on time?"

Dragging her out the door he says "Since today- let's hurry before Asano calls you again."

#ansatsu kyoushitsu #AkabaneOnPurpose #karma akabane #karma x reader #assassination classroom x reader #karma akabane x reader #akabane karma x reader #assassination classroom #assclass

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fallinforerling · 1 year

Text

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 7 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Your alarm went off sooner than expected. It was surprising that you managed to get any sleep the night before; you felt anxious and nauseous the whole day before and after going to bed, you stayed awake imagining tons of different scenarios of what could happen. You even wonder which seat was assigned to you.

You grabbed your phone, seeing that the alarm's name was “MATCH DAY!!!”. Yeah, you were extremely excited about it two months ago when you set it… It’s not like you weren’t excited to see Jobe’s first game as the holder of his position on the field, but Jude’s parents were attending as well… And Jude himself, of course.

“Well, Mom didn’t raise a bitch, so…”

It was time to get ready.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

✉️ Jobe: Are you sure about coming by yourself? I’m sure someone can pick you up.

✉️ I’m sure, don’t even worry about me. Focus on the game and don’t stop for one second to think about me, your brother, or anything else. This is your day!

✉️ Jobe: You’re truly one of my best friends, love you

✉️ Aw, Jobe! I love you too. See you at the pitch!

✉️ Jobe: Show the guards the card I gave you, they're going to take you to your seat, okay?

✉️ Sure thing! Best of luck out there

You blocked your phone, still waiting for the Uber. The food you had an hour ago was still heavy on your stomach, it made you worry. You hope to not vomit all over the place because of how tense and nervous you felt. The idea of taking a pill was still on the back of your mind, but being drugged around people wasn’t the brightest idea that occurred to you so far. It was better to deal with it with a clear mind.

Mia and Nikki send support through text; after the week of relaxation the three of you had, you felt closer than ever to them. It was also refreshing to touch your phone again and feel nothing. For the sake of your mental health, you kept IG silenced, but you weren’t quitting it just because some people were too obsessed over your friends’ lives. You were still going to post about the game, you didn't care. You didn't accept any of the requests you received the week prior anyway.

And who even cares if people noticed you there? It wasn’t a big deal, you, as every new face of a rumor involving footballers, were going to pass and people were going to forget about you in a few weeks. At least you hoped that’ll happen.

And then your phone buzzed; it was the Uber driver. Thank God. If you were going to die from the nerves, it better be after the game. You wouldn’t let Jobe down.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Dressed with your Birmingham jersey, hat, and scarf, you blended perfectly with the tons of supporters that were waiting to enter the stadium. The loud voices, few screams, and general excitement were a bit contagious, and by the time you made it to the main entrance, a big smile was glued to your face. Who cares about Jude Bellingham right now?

“Hello!” You said to a bodyguard behind a tiny glass window.

“Hey, miss. I’m sorry, but there’s going to be another twenty minutes before we let people enter the stadium” He smiled at you sweetly, seeming honestly sorry about making people wait.

“Actually!” You took the card that hung on your neck, showing it above the scarf. “I have this?”

He studied it for a second before extending his arm, clearly asking for it. You took it off as fast as you could, and after he scanned it, he took a second look to your face.

“So you’re Bellingham’s guest?”

“I sure am” It felt a bit weird to see his surprised face, but he hid it pretty quickly.

“Give me a second” He disappeared behind the glass. You could hear loud voices shouting at each other and then the guard appeared again with a younger man next to him. “He’s going to take you to your seat, please, go ahead” Then a tinier door opened next to the entrance.

“Thanks!” You followed the man silently, feeling thankful that he wasn’t much of a talker either. The hallways were almost empty, but you could see some staff members running around. The man stopped at one of the big doors and after guiding you around rounds and rounds of empty seats, he stopped at the very bottom, next to the freaking archery. “Uhm, are you sure this is my seat?”

“Yes, this is the one that popped up on the system”

“Very well… Thank you!”

“You’re welcome” He gave you a tiny smile before leaving. You took another look at the seat, which seemed very comfortable, and then your eyes wandered to the archery.

You were getting hit in the head, weren't you?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

While you waited for the people to start coming inside and the players to come to the field to warm up, you took your phone, snapping some photos to send to the girls.

✉️ *two photos attached*

✉️ Can you guys believe I’m right next to the archery???

✉️ Nikki: You’re totally getting smacked on the head with a ball

✉️ Mia: Lmao! TOTALLY

✉️ Thank you for the encouragement to stay calm :) (Fuck you)

✉️ Nikki: We love you too, my love 🫶🏻

✉️ Mia. It’s just funny to think about you getting hit in the head, sorry!

Your smile grew bigger. They were such assholes.

“Hey, pretty lady” Jobe’s voice sounded right in front of you. The scream you let out was loud, making you almost drop your phone.

“Jobe!” You laughed, feeling your cheeks blush when a couple of players walked in front of both of you with smirks. “I almost dropped my phone!”

“I know, the whole point of coming up to you while you were distracted was that” He smiled with such pleasure that you felt the need to kick him. He came closer to the barrier. “Give me a hug! For good luck and all that”

“You just want to get hugged by a pretty girl, you’re not fooling anyone” You said while giving him said hug. “Jokes aside, I’m so proud of you. I’m sure you’re going to have an outstanding performance tonight.”

“I hope so” He seemed nervous, which was more than understandable.

“You’re an amazing footballer, with talent and confidence. Remember?” You’ll never shut up about his talent, you trusted him. “And you work hard, just like your brother. So don’t be extremely nervous, you’re going to do great, okay?”

“Yes, of course.” His smile came back to his face. “Thank you.”

“No problem… Now go warm up, I’ll be there fearing for my life the entire time.”

“You’re not getting hit by a ball, don’t be a baby.”

“You don’t know that!”

You saw him strode back to their half of the field, being greeted with some slaps on the back. Ah, yeah, minimal contact with a girl and the boys went crazy. You stood there for a few minutes, watching them warm up and chat with each other, then you retrieve your phone from your pocket, seeing that there were some texts from the girls.

✉️ Nikki: So… I’m very sorry to ask you this BUT

✉️ Nikki: Have you seen The Bastard?

✉️ Mia: Yeaaaah, have you?

✉️ Thankfully no. But only time will tell if I pass out in a hallway or something

✉️ Mia: Very funny

✉️ Nikki: Don’t think twice about texting us, okay?

✉️ Of course. I’ll keep you updated

Oh god. You really wanted to get through this day without seeing him, but you knew you weren’t going to achieve that. It was impossible. You just had to wait and see when you were going to be face-to-face with him.

As the minutes passed, people started to enter the stadium, rapidly filling up the seats. You were taken aback, hundreds of people were already singing, waving signs, flags, and chatting loudly. A particular area of the stadium called your attention; the VIP seats were protected by a strong but clear glass that let other people perfectly see who was there. You knew he was going to be there sooner than later.

But no, you didn’t have time for that. You focused again on the field, where the players continued to warm up. Time passed and finally, it was time for them to get back into the dressing room and prepare to go out. Jobe gave you a small wave before leaving. You suddenly felt nervous for him.

People next to you chatted loudly and sang, but you didn’t mind. Your eyes were glued to the exit for the players. The presenter shouted through the speakers the club's names as they came out. You had your phone prepared for this moment, so you focused on recording Jobe from the minute you saw him enter, wait in line for the final speech, and greet the other team members one by one. You felt like a proud mom, as stupid as it sounds.

Then the game began and your brain managed to only focus on Birmingham’s side, how Jobe did on the midfield, even though you didn’t distinguish him from time to time. Then, from one moment to another, you started to cheer with the other fans because he got closer and closer to the archery of the opposite team. Which was the one you were sitting by. He made a pass, then another teammate passed it back to him, and just like that, he scored his first goal. Everyone went crazy, including you; he ran, being followed by his teammates, cheered with the fans who sang his name non-stop, and then came closer to where you were sitting (now standing) and pointed at you. You blew him a kiss, feeling more than proud and fascinated by his talent. You knew it. The emotion didn’t leave the fans for a while, and you were as happy as they were. You felt like a years-long follower. Football did unite people in the weirdest ways. And then people started to cheer next to you again. You looked at them, and they were looking back… at you?

“What's happening?” You asked a sweet girl who was next to her parents. She pointed to the top of the stadium, where the screens were.

You turned to see, and… You were there! Right on the big screen. You smiled again, giving a quick wave before the camera focused on another person. Your cheeks were smoking hot, and your heart was beating so fast you thought you were about to have a heart attack.

And then, just when you got comfortable enough with the people surrounding you, the players went out on the field to rest. Damn, you were already forty-five minutes into the game without any accidents. Wonderful.

And right on time. You really needed to go to the bathroom. Most of the people stayed in their seats, but lots of them went out to get more drinks, go to the bathroom, etc. You slowly made your way through the crowd, and when you just made it through one of the doors, a guard stood in front of you. You looked at him, confused by his sudden stop.

“I'm sorry, miss. I have been ordered to move you from your seat.”

“Excuse me?” Were they throwing you out?

“Please, follow me. Will get to the VIP section in a minute.”

“Sorry?” Oh no. “VIP section?”

“Seems like your former seat was given by mistake, you were supposed to be on the VIP seats this whole time. We are deeply sorry.”

“That's okay! I think that I was supposed to be on that seat over there...” You pointed down the hallway, realizing just now that you were following him. “Can I ask why am I being moved?”

“It's been a request from one of our VIP members... Well, a few, actually.” His shy smile said it all.

“Are these members the Bellinghams?”

“Uhm. You're correct. They realized you were out there and requested that you were immediately moved next to them.”

“I see...” Seems like life has other plans for you, ones very away from peace.

You kept following him, trying to breathe as deeply as you could. Why did this have to happen now? Just when you thought you were safe from encountering him. The guard stopped by a door, opening it for you. You said thanks before entering, calling the attention of a few men and women that were by the catering area.

“Oh, my dear! There you are!” Denise’s voice startled you. She came to you with a smile and open arms. She was the sweetest woman ever.

“Denise!” You received her hug with a smile. At least you weren’t alone with Jude. “How have you been?”

“Better now that I see you. You look great!”

“Thank you! You look even better” Mark came after her, giving you a quick hug. “Hi, Mark”

“Hello, dear. We were dying to see you. It's so bad you were so busy with work.”

“Oh, yeah…” Your eyes wandered to Jude, who stood awkwardly behind his parents. You could see he was beyond uncomfortable. “It’s been a crazy couple of weeks…”

“Yeah! Jude told us all about it. But don’t worry, after the game, we’re going to get dinner. You’re joining us, aren’t you? So we can catch up.” What were you supposed to answer when Denise was looking at you obviously clueless about the whole situation?

“Of course I am.” The smile never leaved your lips, but when both of his parents turned to look at his son, you made sure your eyes gave the right message to Jude: I’m going to kill you.

“Oh, and why were you sitting down there? We made sure you were right here with us.” Mark said, looking confused.

“Uhm, the guard said it must be a system error… You know, those types of things happen.” He looked pleased enough with your answer because he and Denise walked to the exit.

“We’ll be back in ten minutes. We want to see Jobe before the second half.”

“Sure…” That was the first time in the ten minutes you’d been there that you heard Jude’s voice.

Both of you stood there in silence, looking at each other. You felt a mixture of emotions that were very hard to identify, but the main one was simple annoyance. He had a month to tell his parents. A month.

“Are you for real?” You said while getting closer to him. “I can’t believe you right now.”

“What?” Was the only thing he said at first. Why did he look scared? “Why are you so mad?”

“What?” You mocked him, finally standing in front of him. “I can give you ten reasons that happened just today to justify why I’m mad, Jude Bellingham. Why on earth are your parents acting like they don’t know we broke up?”

He looked at you with a blank expression that confirmed your fears.

“Oh, my god…” You covered your face. Did you really dated this idiot? “So your parents believe we’re still happy and together? Why would you do that?”

“Well, I just didn’t feel like any time was the right time to tell them. I got nervous and lied! I’m sorry… But why do you want them to know so quickly?”

“Why? Well, maybe because it happened a month ago?!” You screamed-whispered it. “I can’t pretend to be your girlfriend until you feel ready to tell your parents. What are you? Five?”

“Okay? Ouch.” He came even closer, looking into your eyes with a look that you didn’t like. It was almost… sweet. “And besides, I thought we could talk…”

“Talk?” Now you were confused confused. “Talk about what? I don’t have anything to talk with you.”

“Why are you so mad at me?! I thought we were still friends…”

“Jude… You broked up with me a month ago while I was visiting you in fucking Germany, not less than a week later you went out and partied, kissed a girl and God knows what else. Then I went out, danced with a friend, and you freaked out and acted like a hypocrite jerk who doesn’t know what boundaries are... Why do you think I’m a bit apprehensive about talking to you? You only called me to make questions about Gio's IG thing, so I'm also doubting the friends part.” He seemed upset by your lack of touch, but you didn’t care. “Besides, why are you acting like I’m the one that broke up with you?”

“Well… I don’t know, I’m just…” He reached for your hand, and then his parents were back. They smiled at the both of you, and you didn’t have the energy to take your hand back from his.

“Ready for the game? It’s about to start.”

“Yeah…” You walked to your seats. His parents were next to you but in a different row, so you were trapped with Jude in a very comfortable seat and in a very uncomfortable situation.

Fucking hell.

“We really need to talk…” Jude whispered, looking at your profile.

“Shut up and watch the fucking game, Bellingham.”

You really hated your life.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

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crystallizsch · 2 months

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hello i am once again thinking about grim, and by extension the heartslabyul duo because if there’s anything else that lives in my head rent-free it’s how the main four are as close as friends as they are throughout the entire game so far.

(help this ramble became longer than i intended)

-> i know it's a pattern that the previous dorms help out in the next book which means once book 7 ends, we’re assuming book 8 would be about ramshackle(?). which means it’s diasomnia’s turn to have a big role in the following dorm. -> but it got me thinking. throughout the books, heartslabyul (specifically adeuce) is always present somehow. no matter how much screen time they actually have and how relevant they are to the conflict at that time. (actually i think something similar could be said with diasomnia but i want to focus mainly on adeuce) -> throughout the books, we're just set up with how good of friends the four are. the prologue, books 1 and 2 start to develop the four's chemistry together, and by book 3 we get one of the first signs that yuu cares about these three to the point they're willing to risk it because their dumbasses decided to sign a deal with azul. -> in book 4, while adeuce didn't have much involvement, i believe twst JUST hammers home that all four of them are friends friends. we are shown how ace and deuce went through all the trouble of transportation DURING THE HOLIDAYS because they thought yuu and grim were in trouble. like they could've easily just went "hey it must have been nothing" but they were worried enough to go check on them, not even thinking that someone else could've had handled it already.

-> since the pattern was that the previous dorm helps the next dorm, why does it seem like in book 5 it seems that heartslabyul, or at least, adeuce has as much of a big role as scarabia? the scarabia duo was there to notice the signs with vil but it was deuce who dealt the last blow to him. (honestly i don't remember much but i don't know how much help scarabia even helped pomefiore other than being in vdc hhh) -> so then it made me think, huh. it's like twst is setting up that these two will be more important than we think and will definitely not be going away soon. -> and then THE END OF BOOK 6. ouughh the end of book 6. their reunion just solidified for me how much they all care about each other. adeuce were not prompted by a direct "we're in trouble, help us" text this time. they just found out yuu and grim were somewhere in danger and it agonized them that they could do nothing about it but wait and hope they're safe. -> book 7 finally we're back to finding out ways to help yuu get home. and since they're all admittedly close friends (dare i say found family) at this point without explicitly stating it, i get the vibes of "we'll help you get home because we care about you but we're not going to think about the depressing possibility we might never see each other ever again".

-> so very abrupt transition;;; this led me to thinking about the overall “alice in wonderland” theme throughout twst. -> is that why adeuce has been with us this entire time? to remind us of that theme? we are in twisted wonderland after all. (I'm not really sure about the thought of yuu being alice but it's an interesting one to consider too) -> to tie in more with the alice in wonderland theme, i'm briefly going to go back to diasomnia. in book 7, there's like a theme of dreams. in fact, throughout the game it was all about dreams and visions and stuff. and in book 7 we're just diving into it. -> and in the story of alice in wonderland, there seems to be the implication that everything that happened in wonderland was just based on a crazy dream that alice had. like we don't know if anything was ever real. (i'm not really a fan of the "it's all a dream" twist but the connections got the gears in my brain turning) (also mickey must be relevant too but i have no thoughts about the implications of his existence at the moment 💀) -> i know we're not done with diasomnia's book but it seems to be set up as a catalyst for something bigger along the line (thinking about the possibility that there is even something bigger than a malleus overblot is very wild to say the least)

-> SO ANOTHER abrupt transition but still related, i thought about the parallel between the "overblot grim" in the beginning of the game and the "jabberwock(y)" in alice in wonderland. they're both chimera-like creatures that are like the final bosses or something. -> and what if a way for yuu to "go home" is to "slay" the jabberwocky (or in this case the overblot grim) just like in the story of alice in wonderland / through the looking glass. -> there's theories i believe that ace is set up to be some kind of "trump card" based on his name and the fact his unique magic isn't revealed yet. but also i want to add deuce in there too remembering how he held a big role in stopping vil in book 4 like some kind of foreshadowing. -> maybe the main role diasomnia will have is only about all these dream shenanigans. and i'd like to think instead that at the end of the day, this conflict with an overblotted grim is ultimately between our main four. some representations based off alice in wonderland. -> going full circle, is this why we have been shown so much of the friendship between all four of them? to establish this possible eventual conflict? and to make it harder for us to choose about "going home"? do we even get the choice?

do we "slay" the jabberwocky or will we decide to stay in this seemingly dreamlike fantasy wonderland instead?

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ihavethedreamies · 2 months

Text

Hard to Swallow | Easy to Expert (3 v6)

Lee Yongbok (Felix) & Seo Changbin - Stray Kids

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~3.7k

Felix/AFAB!Reader/Changbin

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Fluff

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Lingerie, Multiple Partners, Oral (M! Receiving), Deepthroating/Face-Fucking, Threesome, Double Penetration, Anal Play, Sex Toys - Butt Plugs, Anal Sex, Changbin has a Big Cock (duh), Cockbulge (duh), Breeding Kink, Unprotected Sex (Bad Idea, Don't Do It)

Disclaimer: I do have the whole cock-bulge thing in this. I understand this could be a bit offensive to some who are on the heavier side (I am in that group as well). I also have the reader being pretty short even though I am 5'7". The reason being is I have a size difference kink/fetish, mostly because I am not small, and so I put it into a lot of my stories. Sorry if this doesn't align with your body type, but I also imagine a character in my place for these, so I don't sometimes take into account what others do.

Author's Note: This series has seriously devolved into pure filth. I am writing these one after the other and the clear decline in purity is obvious, helps you know whose I wrote when. This one is second to last, and might actually be a little better than the one before it but…we'll see...

PS. I wrote the first A/N before I wrote Bang Chan's, and now that I have...this one is worse.

-> Part 1 <-

-> Part 2 <-

-> Ver. I.N. <-

-> Ver. Seungmin <-

-> Ver. Hyunjin <-

-> Ver. Han <-

-> Ver. Lee Know <-

-> Ver. Bang Chan <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

"So, (Y/N) has an idea-"

"Okay, I'm in." Changbin didn't even let Felix finish the sentence.

"You have no idea what I was going to say."

"If it involved (Y/N), I'm in. What is it…?" Changbin put his phone away, leaning in as he rested his elbows on the table. No one else was in the classroom yet, but Felix still quieted his voice.

"She wants a threesome-"

"Yes."

"I know. But she requested you specifically."

"Me?" Changbin giggled like a child, "she wants me?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm going to send you an address. Go there and ask for the item code I will send too." The older guy pulled his phone back out and typed away on it. Felix furrowed his brow, a little concerned that Changbin already had something like this planned.

"Oh, don't worry. I've had this ready for the next girl I get but none of them would have fit. (Y/N) will though." He smirked and your boyfriend's phone buzzed. He opened the message and instead of saving it, he forwarded it to you. Felix had already given you his card so you could go buy a set of lingerie if Changbin agreed. He had planned on you getting a frilly pink set, but if Changbin had a request then so be it. He added after the forward that if whatever it was did not, please you, to go ahead with the initial set.

"Can’t fucking wait, tonight?" The man bounced in his seat, once again like a child. His mannerisms did not fit him, not with his build and bulk.

"I was thinking next week, but I can see if tonight works." Felix texted you the question as well.

The address was not too far from where you were meeting your friends for lunch so you would stop by on the way home. When you got there and requested the item, the clerk came around the counter to assist you. It was a lingerie store you had been to once before, but never got anything. It was a little higher than your price range and you made sure to remind Felix to get paid back from Changbin. The clerk measured you quickly just to get your rough numbers so she could pick a good size.

"Please wait here." She smiled, bowing slightly then went to get the item. The place was bigger than you thought from the store front, and you wondered how the hell Changbin found this place, let alone to knew what he wanted you to get. The worker came back and presented the set to you, already hanging in a bag, she would have to just zip it up. You balked at the set before you. You were expecting black leather or even latex. Maybe red or dark purple? Fishnets? No. The lingerie looked like it was supposed to be for a bride, but it was a pale blue instead of pure white. When the clerk rang the item up you almost choked on nothing, and reluctantly pulled Felix's card out of your bag. Why the hell was it half-a-million won? When you checked the register, the set was listed as Mulberry Silk Bridal Lingerie Set. Really Changbin? Trying not to seem so awkward after you paid, you bowed as you took the clothing bag from her and scampered out of the store. You still had it slung over your arm when you walked into the much more familiar adult store you and Felix frequented. The cashier didn't even acknowledge you as you headed straight to the section you needed. You were supposed to get a tail that looked like a unicorn's, braided fake hair of pink, blue, and purple. There was also a matching headband, but it didn't fit the elegance of the lingerie. Humming in thought, you ended up going with a tail plug that was made to look like a tiger's, white with black stripes. There were matching ears and you used Felix's card again, the grand total being about 30,000 won. A much more reasonable price.

"What the actual fuck Seo Changbin?" you muttered, going to stand in the full-length mirror. You had prepared yourself, accordingly, slipping the tail plug in before you put on the rest of the set. The panties weren't the same kind that Felix and you normally picked out. It was a thong, not crotchless, and you had to fenagle it to accommodate the plug. You literally got out your sewing kit, luckily having a spool of white thread at the bottom. Carefully you ripped the seams out and resewed the thong strap so you could slide the tail through. You hated ruining such an expensive piece of clothing but at least it was just the thong.

Looking in the mirror you huffed, but had to admit you looked good, like a snow tiger. The top was a corset that luckily laced in the front and had short ruffles of silk at the bottom. The corset didn't have an attached bra, it curved to rest under your breasts though, lifting them up. That was where the support was because the bra was barely that, only the edges were actually silk with some boning, but the rest of the material was sheer. The thong was made of silk as well and there was a garter belt included as well. You had clipped them to the sheer thigh-highs after you extremely carefully rolled them on. There were ruffled silk bracelets that you tied on each wrist. After seeing the ensemble, you knew your black choker would be a stark contrast, but it ended up working well with the white tiger set you had. Moving into different poses, you looked yourself over in the mirror. In the background you heard the keycode being pressed into your door and the two men shuffling in.

"Wait!" Felix called, sounding annoyed and the heavy footsteps immediately halted.

"Take your shoes off," your boyfriend scolded, and you giggled softly.

"What the hell did you make her get?" You heard your boyfriend coming down the hall and stepped back from the mirror to stand at the foot of your bed. Changbin didn't answer, but he got to see when he entered your room.

"Shit." Your boyfriend sighed. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was clearly a bridal set, at least it wasn't white though. You did look amazing however, and he loved that his black choker pulled out the stripes on your tail plug and your headband.

"Fuck me~" Changbin practically moaned coming in to the room as well. He desperately wanted to scoop you up, but he held back. He was getting the privilege of Felix letting him fuck his girlfriend, he would hold back.

"Rules?" You prompted Felix who came to stand beside you. He glanced at your back to see the rest of the set and made you spin slow so Changbin could see too.

"Yes~" The other man nearly hissed.

"Rule One!" You started.

"No kissing her on the lips." Felix's arm wrapped around your shoulders, his index fingers tracing your pout. You sucked the digit into your mouth playfully which made him smile.

"Two!" you said when your boyfriend took his finger back.

"You have to listen to me." Felix continued and Changbin nodded in acceptance.

"Three…"

"Only I get to take her ass." Your boyfriend finished the prompt and once again got a nod.

"Valid. Probably break her anyway." The older man acquiesced. You had a feeling about that, and you still had never seen his dick.

"Fourth! No cumming down her throat." Your boyfriend held his fingers up. He didn't get a nod from that one, his friend's face hardening a bit, but you continued.

"Finally! You don't need to use a condom, but you can't come inside." You finished.

"Why?" He looked at you, his gaze less playful than before, his tone sharper. Felix was worried about this.

"She likes it too much, so only I can. In her cunt and her throat." The man next to you hardened his tone as well and Changbin scoffed. He took his ball cap off, throwing it to the side, shaking his head and running his hand through his curly hair. You watched enthralled as he unzipped his sweatshirt and discarded it too. His black t-shirt was so tight it was like he had it painted on and you had to admit your mouth watered thinking of finally seeing him without it. He was proud of his physique but only really showed off his arms. Your boyfriend rolled his eyes playfully as you gaped at his friend and began to discard his own clothes.

"I will follow your rules…" Changbin started, undoing and removing his belt, he threw it too hard and it left a scratch on the wall. He smirked at your gaze, slowly pulling his shirt out of where he had it tucked in but didn't do anything more.

"But I want her to swallow my cum, and I want to breed her." He asserted, pulling the shirt off so roughly you heard some seams pop. Your whole body flinched when you finally got to see him, and you didn't hold in your whimper. He chuckled cockily and Felix licked his lips in thought. He knew you would LOVE it, and that is why he wanted to say no. On the other hand, just because Changbin would cum inside you, that didn't automatically mean he could make you fall over the edge too. You cast a glance at your boyfriend, trying not to plead with your gaze. But holy shit did you want that. Before Felix metaphorically broke your dam, you had never been one for anything kinky, but now…To be double sure you took the pill and was even considering getting a IUD just in case.

"She has a creampie kink, not breeding. You can cum inside, she's protected." Felix agreed to Changbin's terms but added a caveat.

"Rule one was no kissing her lips. I'll let you do what you want, but you cannot kiss her anywhere. You can't eat her out either." You looked between the two of them, waiting for the other man to answer. He didn't love those stipulations, but it would be worth it if he could fill you up.

"Fine." They shook hands and Felix gave you a positive hum and you scurried forward, hands running all over Changbin's now bare torso. He was delicious and you desperately wanted a taste. He just stood there, letting you do as you pleased, just watching as you fell to your knees. Your fingers hooked in the loops of his jeans, which were hugging his thighs perfectly, and he sighed as your hot little tongue licked up from under his belly button to as high as you could go kneeling.

"Shit (Y/N)~" He hummed, not even helping you as you undid his pants, having to tug to get the denim to unpeel from his legs. You whined, letting him get the pants off his ankles and they were shoved to where his shirts and belt lay. Felix watched amused as started to kiss Changbin's thighs, as thick as your head. He chuckled as you nibbled his inner thigh before kissing the impressive bulge held back by his boxers. He hardened further at the touch and licked over the fabric as well, your cunt already pulsing at the thought of him filling you. Giving him a coy look he smiled, "Go ahead, princess." So, you did. Slowly, like unwrapping an expensive gift, you pulled his tight briefs down and off, his cock bouncing in the air. You gaped and he smirked. He was only half hard but…You swallowed hard, wiggling your jaw back and forth, wondering if you could fit him or not. Not any longer than Felix, maybe even a bit shorter, he was THICK. Changbin just watched as your hand came shakily to encircle his cock, your fingers unable to touch. You mewled, then wrapped your other hand around him as well, pumping them as you licked around the head. His whole body seemed to quake with his groan. When he was fully hard you swallowed again. Glancing back at your boyfriend who was standing near the bed, mostly naked himself, he nodded. Changbin grinned at the round ears on your headband and the tail flowing out behind where you kneeled. However, seeing you in the pale blue silk he picked out was definitely the best.

"Go on, princess." He urged and you breathed hard through your nose, adjusting your pose, opening your mouth as wide as you could. It seemed he wasn't that thick, but your jaw did still protest some. You moaned when the taste of his precum hit your tongue and he groaned too. Leaving one hand at the base of him, the other went to lay on his hip, sliding up and over the v-line of his torso.

"So good~" He praised as you huffed through your nose, tongue swirling over just his tip still. He knew he could cum alone from that, but he knew you could do more. When the plug inside you buzzed on you whined, and Changbin saw Felix messing with his phone. You focused, trying to keep your lips over your teeth and took his fat cock deeper. When the head hit the back of your mouth, you did gag slightly, not accustomed to his girth. He tasted amazing and you were eagerly anticipating him painting your throat white. You swallowed a few times, trying to relax the muscles, but pull back some to take a deeper breath. After another measured breath, you swallowed him back in and descended further. He groaned dramatically as your throat fluttered around his dick, you were gagging slightly, tears springing to your eyes. Despite the struggle, you still wanted desperately for him to fit inside all the way at least once. Pulling back, sucking as you went, he sighed, watching intently as you took another deep breath before going back down. You whined as you managed to get him completely in, swallowing over and over trying not to gag too bad. You had no way to get air in, so you didn't even try, but your nostrils flared as the tip of your nose touched his pelvis.

"Fuck! (Y/N)~" How bad Changbin wanted to grab your head and pump his hips, but he didn't want to hurt you. When it was getting too hard to last without air, you pulled your head back just enough that you could suck in more oxygen through your nose. Felix watched, amazed that you fit his friend's huge cock in your mouth. Drops of drool and pre splattered on the floor in front of you as you bobbed your head, letting Changbin's cock bury completely every once and awhile when you tolerated. Felix knew his friend had the stamina of an ox, but he looked close to cumming already. Of course, his sweet (Y/N) sucked dick like no other.

"Ah, I'm close princess." Changbin huffed out and you braced yourself on the floor. Felix recognized your stance immediately.

"You can thrust but don't go too deep till you finish." Your boyfriend instructed the other man. He nodded, and his strong hands went to your head.

"Ready?" He asked and you hummed, teary eyes meeting his. He swore under his breath and did as he was allowed, starting to pummel your poor throat with his cock. More tears spilled from your eyes, the obscene sound caused by your drool and his precum echoed through your bedroom.

"Okay, one, two-" Changbin didn't get the next word out before he filled you full, cumming down your throat. Your eyes rolled back, cunt clenching and you lost count of how many times you had to swallow to get everything he gave you. You didn't cum, but Felix wasn't overly keen about how turned on you did get. Just when your vision started to swim, Changbin pulled out and you swallowed a few more times. Your throat hurt, sorer than when Felix did the same thing. Your boyfriend came to you with a bottle of water. You gulped some down, the cool liquid soothing your throat but also helping wash down the thick cum still in your mouth.

"Fuck." Changbin huffed simply.

"You okay, love?" Felix made sure you nodded, letting out a hoarse, "Yes." You glanced to the other man and your eyes widened. His cock hadn't softened at all and was still covered in a thick layer of fluids. He stroked over it with his hand, smiling at the slick.

"Hurry up, 'Lix. I need her cunt." Changbin stared at you, his gaze fiery. The playfulness and glee from before were gone, covered by molten lust and you shivered a bit. With what he just did to your mouth, you were worried about your pussy.

"Come here, love." Felix led you to stand and go over to the bed. Changbin followed and as he got on the bed, sitting at the top in the middle. He leaned back casually into the headboard, motioning you closer. You crawled on after him and straddled him, your legs spread much wider to accommodate his thick thighs than with Felix.

"Who do you want inside first?" your boyfriend asked and you pondered a second. You could handle the stretch of Felix's dick in your ass easier and get used to it faster than you probably could with Changbin in your cunt. Because of that you thought the latter should go first. The elder man's cock was still painted with your spit and his cum, your core dripping so much, you knew no lube would be needed. He positioned you so the tip of his cock rested at your entrance. He grunted at how hot and wet you were, losing patience.

"Go." Felix gave him the okay and Changbin's hands on your hips led you down. Your jaw fell open, your breath hitching as he stretched you open. Felix wasn't small by any means, but everything about Changbin was girthy. You shivered as he filled you, not even fully inside yet, a small bulge protruded from your lower stomach. Your body shivered, breathy moans leaving your lips as he bottomed out. Your cunt fluttered around him, more of your slick dripping down to smear over his groin.

"Shit, princess." He chuckled, holding you to him when you fell forward. He could feel the plug in your ass through the walls of your cunt, and he hadn't even noticed it was buzzing still. You whimpered softly when the vibrations ceased, Felix coming up behind you. He wrapped his hand through the tail of the plug and pulled softly, easing it out of you. You sighed, letting out a squeak as Felix dripped more of lube onto your ass, smearing more on his cock. He couldn't believe the sight of your tiny cunt stretched over Changbin, trying desperately to hold him in. He was a little miffed that you were so close already, but he knew he would throw you over the edge when he buried his own cock in your ass.

"Ready, love?" he asked, thumbs rubbing circles over your hips. You let out a small noise Changbin couldn't discern, but Felix heard you loud and clear.

"Breathe." He didn't even have to lead Changbin to rub your back, helping you relax. Your boyfriend started to ease into you, and you focused on the hand rubbing over your spine, breathing hard. The stretch set you on fire, your cunt fluttering. Felix bottomed out and you twitched aggressively, and when he grinded slightly into you, you fell apart. He smirked, grunting hard at the squeeze. Your ass was always tight anyways, let alone with his friend's cock splitting you in half. Your teeth had sunk into the muscle of Changbin's shoulder, and he hoped you left a mark.

"I'm not gonna move. Fuck her ass full of your cum then I'll blow her back out." The older man held you close, your orgasm dying but you still shivered. You had no more strength. Felix made sure you were okay with it and interpreted your little whimper as a positive. He nodded and started with short but deep thrusts and Changbin grinned at how your pussy clenched around him, even able to feel your boyfriend fucking into you.

"Fuck, you're milking me, love." Felix's deep voice rumbled through you, and you whined.

"'Lix~" You moaned, and he huffed with a grin. Two more thrusts and you squealed as he painted your ass white with his cum. You came again, Changbin recognizing the clenching of your core.

"Ah, fuck…" Felix groaned, pulling out of you.

"Off." Changbin motioned to him, holding you closer and he scrambled to the side, still out of breath. He barely got off the bed before Changbin rolled forward, you under him, immediately holding you in a mating press. You squeaked at the move, your knees at your ears as his hands gripped your thighs, so tight you knew it would leave bruises.

"Hold on, princess." He warned you and you scrambled your hands, digging your white painted nails into the sheets. The headboard banged against the wall as he took his first thrust and your head fell back, nearly falling over the edge of the bed. You back arched, silent screams wracking your lungs. The noises Changbin were making sounded more like a beast than a person's and your head lulled to find your boyfriend. He was watching with slightly wide eyes, his cock already starting to harden again.

"Okay, princess, I'm gonna breed you~" The man utterly destroying your poor pussy made two more hard thrusts, then he pumped more of his cum into your protected womb than he did down your throat. You shivered, but you didn't cum again, still looking at Felix. He smirked at your gaze, nodded and you let yourself fall over the edge as well. Changbin noticed and marveled at the level of control Felix had over your body. You lay there panting under him, nearly blacked out.

"Don't let her go, 'Lix. I'll snatch her up otherwise~”

-> Ver. I.N. <-

-> Ver. Seungmin <-

-> Ver. Hyunjin <-

-> Ver. Han <-

-> Ver. Lee Know <-

-> Ver. Bang Chan <-

-> Part 1 <-

-> Part 2 <-

Masterlist

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA for tattling on a guy who was cheating with me?

So for a few weeks I was long-distance sexting this guy. (I am also a man, if it's relevant.) It started off as mostly just a really exciting connection because I wasn't expecting to wind up SO compatible with someone from the site I found him on, either sexually or emotionally. We wound up both having tumblr accounts, incidentally, and started chatting and following each other here. And really quickly our conversations were hitting a balance of like 90% sexual, 10% lowkey romantic, and the latter was increasing by the day. Nothing really overtly serious especially considering how little time passed, but we were also talking almost constantly for several days at a time, and with both of our sexual tastes involving a flavor of tenderness, tbf we were kind of inarguably acting like real lovers. Wake-up texts, goodnight texts, "i love you"s (granted in the context of sexual rp), talking about how we'd cuddle afterward, etc.

Then one day he texts me with a confession to make: that he has a boyfriend, and he was afraid to mention it before but he thinks I should know, and this isn't at all him saying he wants to stop what we're doing bc he's been really happy talking to me. He just doesn't want me to have to find out by any other means about him having a long-term relationship and be surprised, in case the two of us get more serious. He told me that he and his bf are stable together but not sexually compatible anymore and emotionally drifting apart in general, and what we'd been talking about were all the things he was missing from his sex life and whatnot.

I can respect that he wanted me to hear it from his own mouth that he has a pre-existing relationship, but I couldn't respect the fact that he was cheating in the first place. Admittedly I also hated to feel like I was someone's side piece, whatever their reason for wanting one was. Part of it was specifically that at night we'd talk like we were each lonely and needing to be touched meanwhile he actually did have his boyfriend right next to him. It just rubbed me SO wrong.

So after that, for the first time I went out of my way to search his blog and I pretty easily found the account of his bf and I sent him screencaps of the conversation, including the confession. I thought he deserved to know that his partner of 2 years was trying to have an affair.

...And this is where I've been made to feel like maybe I went too far, in fact I've been told by friends specifically that I did go too far, either in including screencaps of that guy specifically detailing his relationship, or in reaching out to his bf at all. But idk, I have a pretty strong reaction to cheating bc I feel it's one of the worst ways you can hurt someone. And in a way I feel cheated on, too? Given the few weeks that I was under the impression I was talking to someone who was single and lonely just like myself rather than partnered and just bored. I expected to get some kind of angry response so I preemptively blocked the guy I'd been sexting and I have no idea what he might have tried to say to me, if anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ceruleancattail · 3 months

Note

Ah hi Ceru it has been ages!! So I saw that you want people to feed into your horror/yandere brainrot and luckily for only you, I am very fucked up in the head. So be prepared for whatever fucked up shit I’m about to write^^

C.W: stalking, kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome

Let’s go with the person you like best in twst, Cater Diamond. Now people don’t know a lot about Cater so we can do honestly a shit ton of things with him. So let’s talk about him in my horror au. Cater is honestly such a cool character and I love him oh so very much, so making him fucked up is so fucking easy. As we know Cater is chronically online, so imagine a celebrity Yuu. They don’t go to nrc but they went to the island once and Cater instantly fell head over heels.

Now, Cater in my AU is this obsessive guy, he stalks people, he knows everything about everyone, he gets what he wants and isn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty. So he starts digging into Yuu’s past, at first it’s small things that the public knows, but then he goes deeper and deeper and soon he knows everything about them. Their shoe size, what’s their sleep schedule, favorite food, where they live, the kind of soap and shampoo they use, their order at their favorite coffee shop.

But after he learns everything online he starts getting desperate. Tons of messages and dms, he finds their number and text and calls them. He find their friends numbers and texts and calls them. At first just simple “hi” “good morning!!” “How was your day?” “I loved the new post you posted<3” but soon it turns into him talking about things they did in their private life and even threatening their close friends and family so he can family talk to them. Of course Yuu tries everything they can to get a restraining order against him, but they can’t find anything to do with this guys.

One day Yuu is out alone doing a quick errand, when they run into Cater. They, of course, don’t know who he is but he mentions that they met before, like ages ago, and they talk a bit and Cater gets a picture, before Yuu leaves. Cater, being Cater, follows them home secretly, breaks in when they’re asleep, and kidnaps them:)

Yuu wakes up in an actually nice room, but it’s not their room, the door is locked, the window has bar metals and their an ankle monitor on them. After a while Cater walks in and starts acting like this sweet guy and after some freaking out on Yuu’s part he confesses that he’s the one who’s been stalking them, calling and texting them for months now but he only did that cause he loves them and wouldn’t want anything to happen to them ever, so he’s just looking out for them.

After that Yuu stays in that room for months, with only Cater as company. Every time they do anything that Cater disapproves of he gets upset and leaves them in that room for days, one time he left for a whole month. And to Yuu’s shock and horror, they actually missed Cater. You know what happens after that. Cater gaslights and manipulates Yuu, Yuu believes him and becomes dependent on him. Cater thinks they’re in love, but he’s just obsessed with the idea of them. Yuu thinks they love him, but they’ve been locked up for so long away from other people that they’re lying to themselves.

I wanted to fit cannibalism in here somewhere but I think that’s crossing the line so I didn’t 😭. Anyways I hope you likes me and my fucked up thoughts goodnight<3

Oh no, it’s fine! Cannibalism isn’t for everyone and I get it. I’ve written some in the past, so I’m alright with brainrot involving it, but thank you for drawing the line anyways!

Also you’re so real, Cater has the potential to be so super creepy, it’s a shame I don’t write him as yandere as often as I’ll like-

Also it has been so long- Hi!!! How are you???🫶

————————————————————————

Tw: yandere

It’s just so suffocating being with Cater, you know? He’s just so concerned about his image, how he presents himself to you. Every word as artificial as the last, dripping with honeyed words and sugared lies.

The sweetness was cute at first, but now?

It’s just down right nauseating.

Cater strives so damn hard just to please. Lurking in Internet forums, scanning threads you’ve liked (in the account you thought you made private) and combing interviews you don’t even remember doing. Just for little tidbits of information you’ve dropped about you.

Your favourite food. Your favourite book. Your favourite place to hang out. Favourite this, favourite that.

You’ve seen the list on his phone, a great winding chunk of text stretching from pages on the end. You’ve seen essays with less material. Normally, you would have pegged it down was just another… oddly invested fan, if nothing came out of it.

You got the desire to get to know your idols more. It was just a natural human curiosity, wasn’t it? Even though Cater’s level was… remarkably obsessive.

It’s one thing to worship your idols.

It’s another to kidnap them and force a confession down their throat. Hell, it’s been a month, and you’re still not used to the shackles around your wrists. You still wince at the way your constraints drag across the ground, metal scratching against tiled floors.

Yet the greatest restraint was the man himself. Whenever he saw fit to drop by, Cater can’t just seem to let you go. Crushing you in bone-crushing embraces, cooing about his day, how his lunch tasted… and just how much he missed you!

You used to accompany him during lunch hours through your live streams, and the little clips that circulate through his social media! Not going to lie, he hardly listens to those anymore.

Why would he?

When he has the real thing all tied up prettily just for him at home?

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tojiscumdumpster · 4 months

Text

CHAPTER ELEVEN- TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Life has really been fucking with me these last six weeks. Work’s hell. The apartment we live in went up by four hundred dollars. And to make matters worse, Megumi and I have been rockier than ever.

That’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.

It’s over simple shit, too.

I try my best to be a laid back parent and only go full on dad mode when needed, but I think the kid has taken advantage of that. All I ask is three things from Megumi:

Don’t get into fights, and if you do, don’t get caught.

School night curfew is eight. Weekends are eleven.

And lastly, tell me your whereabouts.

But what does he do instead? Miss curfew. Leave the house without telling me where he’s going, and now he’s on a two week-suspension from school since he got into a fight.

Grant it the fight was justify because some kids were fucking with him and talking shit about his lack of English, but shit, Megumi.

At least he won.

One side of me was saying that’s my boy, and the other side had to ground him.

Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with me after that.

I’m surprised he actually listened to me, though. But with him listening, I’ve been getting the silent treatment, no eating meals together, and been avoided like I’m the plague.

Parenting is not a walk in the park, I know that. Especially when you’re a single parent. When times like this hit, I think of my late wife more than ever.

With her death anniversary right around the corner, I can’t help but miss her and wish she was by my side.

I can’t do this shit alone. I was not raised in a loving environment, and considering the fact that my old man was an abusive drunk that used me as his punching bag, I damn sure don’t know what the fuck it feels like to have a father.

A mom? Don’t know either. Old man wasn’t faithful and was sleeping around with different women, so my mom could be dead or alive. Who knows?

My late wife knew all of this, not the severity, but she knew I had a shitty family. Yet she managed to see something good in a motherfucker like me, to the point we had a kid together.

A kid that fucking hates me. And I’m the only one to blame.

God, maybe I should listen to Kong for once. I’m forty-two. Shit, maybe it is time to settle down and look for a housewife. Someone who’s willing to help raise a fifteen-year-old boy.

No, what the fuck am I saying? Since when do I listen to that fucker?

Never. I trust him, though. Hell, do I really have a choice since he helped me take care of Megumi when I was going through my episodes in the early years of my wife’s death?

But my kid is my responsibility. Getting a woman involved isn’t going to help my relationship with Megumi. That’s some shit I need to fix myself.

Kong and I have one unorthodox ass relationship, but he’s the only bastard I actually consider a friend, and I know he means well.

He is Megumi’s godfather after all. Besides, the last thing I want to do is to ever make Megumi feel like I’m trying to replace his mom. Far from it.

Maybe loneliness is just catching up to my old ass.m, and the only woman I think of breaking me from my no relationship rule is Y/N.

Y/N fucking L /N.

That woman drives me insane in more ways than one.

After our first date over a month ago, we’ve been talking nonstop. Texting. Calling. Casual dates every now and there when time allows us. If I’m being real, Y/N is the only reason why I haven’t ripped my fucking hair out.

People would usually turn to alcohol to depend on the burning sensation it gives you to get drunk when feeling stressed. But me? Y/N is who I get drunk off of. Her energy is fucking addicting, and the reassurance she gives me… who know I needed so much of it.

Like any other man, I don’t turn to anyone to help with my problems. I’m a prideful motherfucker who has the ego the size of a galaxy. However, I don’t have to be the way around Y/N. I sound sappy as shit, I know.

Guess that’s what happens when you become vulnerable.

The only reason why I haven’t had sex with her yet.

I know myself. When I was younger, I only saw sex as a way to make extra cash when I was struggling after I got disowned by the Zen’in. The older I got, sex became more meaningless to me. I can be balls deep in pussy, no matter how good it is, and have no type of feelings attached. Me making a woman come or them making me come doesn’t mean I’ll start buying them roses and shit.

It wouldn’t be the same with Y/N.

Not saying I’m on the verge of falling in love with her, let alone loving her. But seeing how much we talk, how jealous I fucking get, especially after figuring out she works at the same school as her ex-fiancé, I don’t want any other fucker to even breathe the same air as her.

Not even myself, but I’ll still be selfish enough to do it.

That’s the thing about Y/N. I feel myself growing more selfish when it comes to her. I want her time and energy to only be for me. She’s mine without her knowing and I’m planning on keeping it that way. I can admit that’s probably a dick move, but I can’t find myself falling in love again.

At least, I’m forcing myself not to.

Hearing her moan my name. Seeing her face when she comes. Knowing what it feels to have that sweet, tight, warm fucking pussy clench around my fingers. I’ll become a starved and possessive man the moment she’s like that around my dick.

I’ll catch feelings.

I’ll want her above me, beneath me, all over me twenty-four-seven. I’m not an easy lover. I can admit to that.

But that won’t stop me from…

No, I won’t say that.

It’s strong. Whatever emotion I feel about Y/N, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with her being so damn familiar. The more I talk to her, the more I know who she is. Maybe in another lifetime I’ve loved her before.

Even saying that in my head sounds crazy as shit. The dreams about her aren't helping, either.

“Get a hold of yourself, Fushiguro,” I mutter to myself. I look at the time to see it’s eleven thirty. “She should be on her free hour right now.”

Maybe a phone call wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m busy,” I grunt.

I couldn’t even call Y/N before Kong called me to fucking be clingy. He claims he only calls me to check on the kid, but Megumi has his own phone.

“Mad because I’m not your girlfriend? Sorry, I had you first, Fushiguro.” I hear him puffing out smoke from his cigarette. “Be grateful you have a fucking friend to check on you, you fucking jackass.”

I chuckle, sarcastically saying, “Awe, I consider myself very lucky.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sorry, not interested,” I replied. And this is what I mean by unorthodox friendship. “Assuming you got some information for me?” After that Zen’in fuck purchased the club ownership last month, I had Kong do some digging for me.

All the bullshit he was spewing about Naobito forcing everyone in that family who doesn’t have a kid, to have one, and taking interest in finding Megumi, I couldn’t take shit like that lightly.

Not when my kid is potentially involved.

Knowing how those Zen’ins’ get down, they always find a way to get what they want. Even if it results in blood.

“I found some files about that Naoya shitface you told me about… Looks like he’s the real deal,” he says.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he is your cousin. Looks like your old man’s brother had some unwanted kids of his own.”

“Having kids in the family just to leave them dry is a fucking ritual in that shitty ass family.” I get up from bed and go to the kitchen to grab a ginger ale. “What else you find out?”

“Zen'in owns half of the real estate in Tokyo,” he tells me, clicking his tongue. “Those bastards keep growing and growing by the minute. So if what this Naoya is saying is true, I can only imagine Naobito is doing this to have the city fear the name Zen’in, even after he’s six feet under.”

I scoff. “For an ego stroker? So what the fuck does this have to do with my kid?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Over my dead fucking body if they think they could come even twenty feet near Megumi. I have no problem going back to that violent lifestyle that I’m trying to escape when it comes to protecting my kid.

Actually, I’m hoping that they do because I’ve been itching for a stress relief and permanently getting rid of those Zen’in fucks just might be the way to do it.

Maybe I should pay them a visit on my trip to Japan in a few months.

I run my hand through my hair and sigh. “Alright. Keep me posted.” An incoming call comes through and I see Y/N’s name flashing my screen. “Gotta go.”

“Your girlfriend’s callin-” I disconnected our line before he finished his bullshit to answer Y/N.

“I’m so close to fucking pulling these braids out and choking my boss with them.” Ha, that’s a funny way to say hello.

“I’m trying to wrap my head around why hearing you threaten to kill someone is turning me on?” I tease.

She lets out a soft breath. “I’m sorry, big guy. Work is being a pain in my ass right now.”

“I see that. You cursed twice. That’s something expected from me.”

“Well, it’s kind of inevitable when you’re a high school teacher,” she argues. “And actually, no. I expect four curse words in under a minute from you. So I think my two words will be alright.”

I smile while walking back to my room and close the door behind me. “Talk to me, sweets. What’s going on?”

“Other than finding out that my name was unknowingly submitted to take part in the state’s teachers summit, nothing really.”

“Is it that bad?”

“No. It’s actually a good opportunity to voice your concerns as a teacher to the school board, but quite frankly, I’m tired of going. Only one teacher is selected every year to represent each school in the county and it’s always me.”

“And what is this summit shit? Why do they need teacher representatives?” I hear her smile through the phone when she explains the summit, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of me cursing already. “Probably this isn’t what you want to hear, but I can see why you’re always chosen. You speak your mind well, and I can see the passion you have when it comes to your students.”

“Well, yeah, but every teacher should be that way,” she counters. “And the summit this year is four hours away from us, so they made it a weekend convention. A weekend, Toji?”

I arch my brow. “And who submitted your name?” Her silence tells me my answer. “You sure this fucker isn’t trying to win you back? Abusing his power as your boss to get you to himself for the weekend seems like a man move I probably would’ve done, too.”

“You would?” she incredulously asks.

“When it comes to you? Absolutely. Zero questions asked.” I can almost guarantee the silence from her again is because she’s blushing, something I find fucking adorable about her. “You there, Miss L/N?”

“Toji, I’m at work,” she answers.

“Admitting that your mind is in the gutter?”

“I-uh, no. Just reminding you to get your head out of it.”

I tip my head back and laugh. “Cute. So when’s the summit?”

“In three months.”

“And you can’t pull out?”

“Unfortunately, no. Unless I can prove that it’s due to a medical or family emergency, I’m out of luck.” No doubt in my mind that her ex pulled this shit intentionally. I mean, I get it. If I lost someone like Y/N as my fiancée, I would be going through hell and back until she was mine again.

But too bad for this fucker that isn’t the case anymore, and I don’t tread lightly when it comes to people fucking with what’s mine.

Mine, that’s exactly what Y/N is.

“I’m way too hungry for this crap,” she says, pulling me from my possessive musings.

“And you didn’t eat because?”

“Someone kept me up last night on the phone, so I overslept and couldn’t get a decent breakfast before work this morning.”

I chuckle, remembering our two a.m. conversations that turned into her masturbating while I was talking her through it. “I’m sure that person is sorry.”

“Doubt it.”

I look at the time again to see it’s noon. “What time is your free hour over?”

“One. Why?”

“Grab lunch with me.”

She playfully hums to consider my last minute invitation. “I guess I can squeeze you in.”

“Squeeze me in?” I mock her response while laughing. “Appreciate it, Miss L/N.”

“I’m sure you can find a way to show me your appreciation.”

I smirk. “Forgot you were at work?”

“Whatever, Mr. Fushiguro. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you,” is the last thing I say before disconnecting the call.

Smiling to myself like a fucking lovesick idiot knowing that I’m about to see Y/N has me surprised myself. Like I said earlier, this woman drives me insane.

And I think I’ll grow to not mind it.

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no discussion question this chapter. but would love to hear your thoughts ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

#anime x black!reader #anime x reader #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #toji angst #jjk angst

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