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auroraesmeraldarose · 4 months

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Rafael/Coral Island Fanfic Pt2

Again, a total and blatant rip-off of @penelopetheconartist but with added nightmares, because life is a nightmare, right? Also again, wildly unproofread and half written at 5am. MENTIONS OF SHITTY MENTAL HEALTH WARNING

Part 2.

The next day was Friday. Rose thought of her old Fridays: lie in a depression pit until work; work in an office all day; then bottomless cocktails with some of the girls from work that she didn’t even really like, but it was better than lying in bed wishing she was dead all evening; drink way too much, stumble back into the pit and stay there until it was time for work on Monday morning. Now, there were no cocktails, and certainly no girls nights… and there was definitely no time for lying in bed and wishing for the end. Rose had had another sleepless night, drifting between nightmare and waking in terror, and was utterly exhausted. She gulped a coffee and got to work. It was strange; she wasn’t depressed right now, she was too busy for that. She was afraid, and frustrated, and anxious, but not depressed. There was still some small glimmer of hope, that there hadn’t been, back in the city.

Without her scythe, she went to work with an old axe she’d found in the shed, hacking at the roots of trees that had swallowed up much of the plot of land she hoped to cultivate. Her hands were still cracked and sore, but her muscles were starting to get used to the work and despite being bone-tired it wasn’t as hard as it had been the first week. She worked, from 7am through until around 4pm, when she stopped to survey her work. It was… disappointing, to say the least. In all that time, it looked like she had hardly done anything at all! She had been working solidly, but the area was so huge it was hard to even make a dent. She tried to tell herself it was ok, it would take time, but seeing the seemingly endless patch of weeds and trees and rocks and trash her eyes welled with tears. No point crying about it, she thought, clenching her teeth and stalking back to the farmhouse. She couldn’t look at that patch of land any longer.

Rose had a wash, and changed out of her overalls into clean jeans and a t shirt. She rebraided her hair and tried not to make eye contact with the face in the mirror, which was looking more tired and haggard than ever. She laughed darkly, remembering Pablo calling her “bonita” yesterday, and tried not to think about how dreadful she looked now. Damn, the blacksmith! She had meant to go pick up her scythe… didn’t they close early on Friday? Or maybe that was on Saturday? Hopefully it’ll be back in one piece, and she won’t be too late to grab it. She rammed on the least muddy of her boots and flew out the door.

The door to the blacksmith’s was locked when she arrived, and she cursed herself for being too late. She was debating whether to knock on the door, disturbing their downtime, and ask for the scythe, or go home, and had just decided to give up when she heard the lock sliding back. Pablo appeared, hair slicked back and smelling strongly of cologne; he started when he saw her at the door.

“Rose! I’m just heading to the tavern for a drink, you coming? You look like you need one, chica…” he smiled, widely, as always, though there was a tinge of worry behind the smile.

“I know, Pablo, I know… I haven’t been sleeping too good. I was hoping I could just grab the scythe? Sorry, I forgot you close early today, or is it tomorrow?…” Rose’s face was apologetic under the tiredness, and Pablo looked a little concerned.

“Nah we only close early on Saturdays, you’re fine! Raf is just finishing it… You should go in and have a break while he gets it done. You need a rest!” He stepped out of the way and let her slip past him. “I’ll have a few drinks for you!” He called back as he bounded down the steps.

Rose closed the door behind him and, yawning, stepped into the warmth of the workshop. Rafael obviously didn’t have earplugs in today, as he had moved towards her when he heard the conversation.

“You haven’t been sleeping?” He said, his deep voice full of concern, his head on one side a little. She hadn’t really looked at his face yesterday, she had been too distracted by the rest of him, but it really was handsome. He had deep brown eyes, his nose was big but straight, and he had a soft, short brown beard that Rose thought would probably tickle a little if she kissed him. Stop thinking about kissing him, Rose! She was too tired to really fight her own thoughts, and one hand came up to touch her necklace.

“Nightmares…” Rose mumbled in reply, stifling another yawn and rubbing her tired eyes with the other hand.

“Do you… Do you uhm… Want to talk about them?” Rafael had grabbed his one arm with the other again, and his face was sincere but shy.

“I don’t even remember them, to be honest. I never remember what was happening when I wake up, but I just wake up so scared it’s hard to go back to sleep sometimes.” Why was she telling him this? Something about the gentle giant in front of her just seemed to welcome honesty. And she was so tired, filtering her words was too difficult.

“I’m sorry…” he looked at her sadly. “I’m almost done with the scythe… maybe you should… uhm… go sit down in the other room and get a little… uhm…. rest while I finish?”

She thought about saying no, being polite, saying she would wait here, or come back tomorrow, but it was so warm in the workshop, and she was so tired. All she could do was nod and yawn again, thanking him through the yawn, before shuffling into the next room and sinking into the huge purple couch.

Rafael shook his head sadly, a frown wrinkling his forehead, and went back to work. He wouldn’t tell Rose, and definitely not Pablo, but he had pretty much reworked her scythe into something better than new. He didn’t really know why, when she had just asked for it to be fixed… Maybe it was because he really did enjoy his work, and he liked to do things well…? Or maybe it had something to do with the jolt he had felt in his chest when she had called him “my hero” yesterday...? He knew he wasn’t a hero, not to anybody. He was barely an “anybody” to most people. But he had liked hearing it… He didn’t get praise often, and the pretty new farmer with the beautiful green eyes and long red hair praising him had made him want to impress her, to do something good for her.

It had only taken around fifteen minutes to finish the scythe, but by the time he walked into the living room Rose had kicked off her boots, curled up in a ball with a cushion held against her chest, and fallen fast asleep. Rafael smiled to himself to see her asleep… She really was very beautiful, even when she was exhausted. Her ankles were crossed in front of her, and he noticed her socks; they were emerald green, and had little gold honeybees on them. They reminded him of her green eyes. He thought about waking her, but since she seemed like she needed a rest he left her to sleep a while longer. He quickly washed and changed out of his work clothes, and when he returned ten minutes later she was still fast asleep. He watched for a minute, debating what to do, when her peaceful face suddenly changed; her brow furrowed and the arms wrapped around the cushion suddenly tensed, her hands gripping the edges tight. She had been curled up, but now she drew her arms and legs even tighter and closer to her body, her face scrunching up in fear. He realised she must be having another nightmare, and panicked; what should he do? Would it be worse if he woke her from it? He hated seeing the terror on her face, even in sleep, but he didn’t want to scare her even more… Gently he put a hand on her shoulder and sat down, leaning in towards her so he could be quiet and hopefully not make things worse.

“Uhm… Rose?” He tried to speak as softly as he could, but his voice felt too deep and too loud in his own ears. “Rose? It’s okay… You’re safe…” he gently rubbed her shoulder, barely touching her, his own heart pounding in his chest as he wondered if he was doing the right thing. What if she woke up and thought he was… Oh goddess but she looked so scared, he couldn’t just leave her. “You’re safe, Rose, it’s just a nightmare” he murmured, close to her ear, but not too close. Her eyes snapped open and he jumped back. “I’m sorry! You were having a nightmare, and you looked so scared!” He shuffled back a little more, looking almost as terrified as she did.

Rose’s heart was pounding and suddenly she couldn’t breathe; she had been so afraid. She didn’t know what the nightmare was but the feeling of terror overwhelmed her and she could barely see. Her eyes began to focus and she saw Rafael in front of her, heard him stammering apologies and gesturing nervously; she grabbed his hands tight in hers in total panic and tried to slow her breathing.

“I’m really sorry!” He looked heartbroken, and in the panic of the fading nightmare, combined with his pitiful expression, she couldn’t help herself. She let go of his hands and threw herself against his chest, the cushion falling to the ground beside her. She clung to him tight, trying fruitlessly not to let the tears welling up in her eyes spill over. She buried her face in his chest, knowing it was completely inappropriate with a man she had met only once before, and especially a man as shy as this, but she needed somewhere to hide, and here was the perfect place. For a moment Rafael froze, unsure what to do, but since she wasn’t screaming at him or running away he figured maybe he should just… go with it? Tentatively, he put his arms around her, and realised she was shaking with sobs. He held her tighter, agonised at the thought he might be the reason for those tears. “I’m so, so sorry Rose!” He hoped that the words, coupled with how tight he was holding her, might get the message across. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her more, when she was clearly having such a terrible time already.

“It’s… It’s not … your fault” came the muffled response, between sobs, from somewhere against his chest. The next words came out as almost a wail “I just can’t do this anymore! It’s too much!” She sobbed harder than ever, and Rafael began to realise that maybe she wasn’t crying because a strange man had woken her up from a nightmare and freaked her out even more? He let go of her, and tried to find her face with his hand, gently trying to get her to look at him. She retreated from his chest a little, and covered her face with her hands. “I just can’t do anything right, and I’m so tired all the time” she was crying a little less hard now, but definitely still sobbing softly between words.

“Hey… You’re… You’re doing such a good job!” He tried to comfort her, one hand on her shoulder again, figuring that after she had thrown herself at him and cried he was probably safe with that little physical contact. She sobbed harder. “Seriously! That place is huge, and it’s going to take time. I know, you’re like me… you want it all to be the best it can be straight away but… you can’t do everything all at once. Uhm… I mean, not right away?” Rafael was praying his words would help, but knew he was definitely not the one to be calming down upset women… where the hell was Pablo when you needed him? Although, the thought of Rose throwing herself against Pablo’s chest rather than his felt like a piece of ice had slipped down his throat. Rose’s sobs had calmed, replaced with fury at herself.

“I’m sorry, I can’t believe this. I’m such an idiot, I can’t believe I’m screwing up everything so much. First the farm, can’t even look after myself properly, then instead of sorting things out I come down here and start sobbing at the big handsome blacksmith and make a total fool of myself! Goddess I’m sorry, I can’t believe I fell asleep here in the first place! You must think I’m an absolute lunatic.” The words came out one after the other in a rush, her face was red with crying and embarrassment and Rafael barely even heard what she had said in the jumble of words.

“No, come on, it’s fine; you’re doing something really brave and difficult! Seriously, you just need to… you know, take breaks. Small steps, you know? Uhm… like, don’t try and do everything at once. You’ll burn yourself out.” He still had his hand on her shoulder, which he had almost forgotten about, and pulled it back quickly now that the emotion had cooled. “Like… When did you last eat something today?”

The question threw Rose out of her own thoughts, and she smiled a teary half-smile as she thought.

“Oh… uhm… I had a coffee when I got up this morning, but then… well you know, there was so much work to do I kind of forgot…” she shrugged, feeling very stupid after her outburst.

“Okay, well that’s easy. I have to make dinner anyway. You like chicken?” Rafael moved to the refrigerator, determined he could at least solve one problem for this pretty farmer girl.

Rose had tried to stop Rafael, told him he didn’t need to look after her, but he was set on feeding her. He was a good cook, and she was surprised, given that he seemed to live just with his brother. They talked a lot while he cooked. He was obviously usually pretty quiet, but seemed to enjoy talking to Rose. They talked about their families, Rose didn’t have much to say about hers, but it was clear Rafael was living in his brother’s shadow, even if he didn’t really say as much. Most of his comments involved some kind of self-deprecation, then saying that whatever it was they were talking about, Pablo was great at it. Rose kind of got it… Rafael was a quiet, shy guy, and growing up with the wild, outgoing Pablo must have been hard at times. It was strange to Rose though, who could see quite clearly that although Pablo tried harder with women, Rafael was most definitely the handsome one! They ate, and Rafael told Rose that he didn’t really cook a lot, being on his own most of the time.

“My favourite food is salmon sashimi,” he had said as they ate.

“That is disgusting, but not at all surprising,” she laughed at the confused and slightly offended look on his face. “Well, it’s raw fish, so doesn’t take much effort, classic bachelor food!” She added, before cursing herself a little… she didn’t actually know if he was a bachelor, exactly. He might have a girlfriend, or even a boyfriend?

“What, you don’t like sashimi?!” He seemed genuinely surprised, and the look on his face made her laugh and forget worrying about his marital status.

“I don’t really like fish at all… the smell, the taste, the texture” she pulled a face at the thought of it. “This chicken, on the other hand, is incredible!” She smiled, looking at the pride that mixed with the constant look of slight embarrassment he wore, and found herself fiddling with the honeybee hanging around her neck again.

After dinner, Rose offered to help clean up, but Rafael staunchly refused.

“I’ll do it later,” he said, firmly, “but now, I’m walking you home, and you’re going to bed!” His face seemed… different. Slightly less nervous than before, there was determination in it and she felt it would be futile to argue with him.

“Yes, sir!” She laughed, and went to put her boots back on, as Rafael slipped the newly improved scythe, wrapped in a cloth, into her backpack.

The walk was a quiet one, but comfortable. Insects buzzed and birds chattered, and they walked in a comfortable silence back towards the farm.

They arrived, and Rafael whistled as he surveyed the farm.

“You’ve done so much already!” He said, impressed. “This is incredible!” He patted her shoulder with his huge hand, companionably. “But, you really do need to slow down. It’s not good for you to work so hard all the time. Although I hope the improved scythe will help make things easier!” He beamed at her sheepishly.

“Improved?” Rose looked confused, “well I guess repaired is definitely an improvement!” She laughed. “I really do owe you. For the scythe, and the dinner, and the crying…” she tailed off, blushing a little, and again reaching for her necklace.

“You don’t owe me anything, Rose. I hope you get some sleep tonight… Better sleep I mean. Uhm…” He grabbed his arm again, and looked at the ground, clearly working up to saying something. “Do you think, uhm, maybe… Well, I’m usually up pretty late watching horror movies anyway. So if, uhm, if you wanted my number… And if you have a nightmare, maybe you could uhm… Message me? And I can maybe help? Or just, be there? Only if you want, I mean…” His face was so covered in a blush, it had even reached the tips of his ears. Rose’s heart felt as if it had melted in her chest. He was the sweetest, kindest man she had ever met.

“I would really, really like that, Rafael… You actually are a hero!” she laughed.

#rafael coral island #coral island rafael #coral island #fanfic #fluff

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starsfreckled · 10 months

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oh damn nearly forgot about it but tomorrow is mae's namesday ! bummer it falls on a day where I have appointments in the morning & work until 7pm while my next day starts at 7am so i gotta go to bed early on tuesday.

#❝ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ˢʰᵘᵗ ᵘᵖ ! ❞╱ ooc post .

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kayniee · 2 years

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Zhongli x Childe - Ghost of a God

In Liyue High, there was no shortage of absurd rumours. Childe had only transfered a month ago, and he had already become privy to quite a few. By far the most ludicrous, he thought, was the one about the ghost living in the walls. But what happens when that particular rumour is proven true?

---

Childe groaned dramatically, making his roommate, Scaramouche, raise an eyebrow. "This is what happens when you procrastinate."

"Shut the fuck up." Childe practically growled. "This is your fault."

"Which mental gymnastics course did you go through to arrive at that conclusion?"

"You didn't fucking remind me that it was goddamn due!"

Scaramouche snorted. "We don't even go to the same high school. Face it, dude. This is your fault. Now stop bitching and get your shit done."

Childe grumbled out a few half-hearted complaints, but he knew that his roommate was right. The ginger had been putting off writing his paper for his History of Liyue class for almost two weeks now. The only reason he was doing it now was because Xiangling had posted in the class group-chat asking for a proof-reader.

He sighed deeply. This goddamn thing was due tomorrow and he hadn't even gotten started on it. There was no way he was getting any sleep.

"Dude, you've got to get your shit together." Childe could hear a hint of amusement in his purple-haired roommate's voice. "You're gonna get shipped back to Snezhnaya if you keep this up, and I don't want fucking Dottore as my new roommate. Have you been in his room? It always smells like fucking formaldehyde." Childe could see Scaramouche smirk out of the corner of his eye. "What would Teucer think?"

"That's low, even for you." Childe deadpanned, making Scaramouche snicker. "But seriously though, I'm trying. I usually get my stuff done, I just got really bored reading about the fucking Stove God 'Massachusets' or whatever the fuck, and I guess I just forgot about it until now."

Scaramouche cackled. "The fucking Stove God? Damn am I glad that I got Inazuma Acadamy instead." He practically wheezed. The ravenette gave Childe a reassuring pound on the back. "You got this, man. There's a coffee from the Angel's Share on the counter when, not if, you need it."

The Snezhnayan sighed again. This was going to be fucking torture.

----

Childe glanced at the clock. 2am. He had already written the intro and half of the body, and despite the coffee he had had an hour ago, he felt like death incarnate. Surely a quick nap wouldn't hurt.. He set an alarm for 3am.

An hour's rest would leave him feeling invigorated and he would get his entire paper done and even get started on his algebra homework.. Yeah, he had this in the bag.

-----

When Scaramouche shook him awake at 7am, however, he realized he most definitely did not have this in the bag.

"You fell asleep?!" The ravenette shouted, looking very pissed off.

"Shut the fuck up - I - I set a fuckin' alarm -" Childe groaned rubbing his eyes. He shook Scaramouche's death-grip off his shoulders, pulling out his phone. There was an alarm set for 3pm.

"If you get kicked out of the Harbinger program I'm going to fucking fly to Snezhnaya and beat your goddamn ass."

Childe's eyebrows furrowed. "The History teacher likes me, she'll maybe-probably give me an extension." Even he could tell that he was spewing bullshit. Ms Ningguang most definitely did not like him, and there was no way in fuck she was giving him an extension for a paper that the class was given two weeks to work on.

"Whatever you say, dude." Scaramouche grimaced. "Good luck, I've got a bus to catch."

Childe heard the door slam. His roommate was definitely pissed off. He would be too, if being forced to share a room with Dottore was a very real possibility.

With a sigh, the ginger grabbed his schoolbag, shoving his laptop into it. He would just have to ask for some extra-credit work.

---

The minute Childe stepped off the bus he was greeted by a very kind greeting of 'you look like shit' from his lockermate, Chongyun.

"Gee, thanks." The ginger replied dryly. "The fuck were you waiting for me?"

"Well, I need to interview some seniors for my project and I thought, who better than the Snezhnayan exchange student, but I'm guessing that you aren't in the mood." The sophomore trailed off.

"You guessed right." Childe snapped, making the younger student flinch. "Sorry, sorry - Long night, as you pointed out earlier. You should go interview Xiangling or Hu Tao. They'd be more than happy to help out."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks anyways. Hope you have a good day." The sophomore said, darting away. Childe tried to push away the pang of guilt that arose from snapping at his innocent lockermate.

He had around 10 minutes before class, so he decided to make his way to the washroom to splash some water on his face and maybe make some more progress on his paper.

"You'll be fine," He muttered into the mirror, trying to ignore the very obvious eyebags that had taken up residence on his face. "What's the worst that can happen, you get shipped back to Snezhnaya, Teucer is disappointed - And your mom too, but mostly Teucer -" He cut himself off. Maybe that wasn't the best thought to spiral into.

"Are you alright?" A baritone voice asked, making Childe jolt. He whipped around. There was a man with shoulder-length brown hair with amber tips tied up into a ponytail staring at him.

"Who the fuck are you?" Childe blurted out.

"Someone willing to listen to you." The man said patiently. "If you'd like to talk."

"Do you go to this school? I've never seen you before." Childe said warily.

The man let out a small chuckle. "Something like that. If you feel uncomfortable you are by no means forced to share with me - I merely thought I would offer."

Childe hesitated. He did have a lot on his chest - And he just shouted at a fucking sophomore trying to interview him for a school project for fuck's sake. Talking to a random bathroom stranger about his problems was a better coping mechanism than screaming at his lockermate. And besides - Said bathroom stranger was really fucking hot.

"I'm an exchange student from Snezhnaya which means I need to keep my grades above a B or I'll be removed from the Harbingers - The exchange program I'm in - And I forgot about a history assignment because I didn't want to research the fucking Stove God and I have professor Ningguang as my History teacher and she doesn't like me because I never pay attention and I always sass her and at one point I may or may not have started a sudo-protest because no-one wanted to do an assignment so if I hadn't done it someone else would've but the point is, I'm going to fail the class and be shipped back to Liyue and my 8 year old brother is going to be disappointed in me so, uh.. Yeah." Childe finished, staring at his feet. Why the fuck did he just tell all that to some random dude he met in the fucking bathroom. He glanced up at the man, expecting judgement, but he was surprised when instead he found amusement.

"That's quite a story."

"Yeah, no shit."

The man paused for a moment. "Perhaps I could be of some assistance."

Childe snorted. "Unless you have a fully written history paper about Massachusetts the Stove God, I doubt it."

The man raised an eyebrow. "I take it you don't know who I am, then."

"Did I not make that clear when I asked 'who the fuck are you' when you snuck up behind me?"

"I thought you were merely being crass."

Childe crossed his arms. "Well, I wasn't. I actually don't know who the fuck you are, believe it or not. Are you some kind of homework genie?"

The man let out a chuckle, but shook his head. "My name is Zhongli. I am a ghost that lives in the walls of Morax High."

"It's Liyue High." Childe interrupted, his brow furrowed. "And how stupid do you think I am? What, you heard about the 'ghost in the walls' rumour and decided to fuck with an innocent student?" The ginger scoffed. "There I was trying to be genuine, telling you my problems and shit, and you go and pull the 'I am a ghost' card."

The man - 'Zhongli' if that even was his name - Sighed. "Yes, I feared I would receive that reaction. Would you allow me to prove myself to you?"

"Sure, why not. Let the bathroom stranger prove that he's a ghost. This ought to be good."

Zhongli then proceeded to fucking walk through Childe.

The ginger whirled around to gape at Zhongli, who was now behind him. Because he fucking walked through him. Like a ghost. Which he was claiming to be. And - Holy fuck he wasn't lying. He's a ghost. Childe just met a ghost.

"Was that adequate?" The brunette simply stated, raising an eyebrow.

"I - Uh - Y - Yeah - You said you could help me?" Childe stammered out. Hey, if there was a bathroom ghost offering to help you not get deported back to Snezhnaya, you say yes. Especially if the ghost is handsome.

"I did. I just so happen to sit in on quite a few of Professor Ningguang's lessons, and I have completed this essay multiple times." He pulled a USB drive from his pocket and handed it to a rather dumbfounded Childe. "This has a copy of a perfectly written paper - Proofread and everything - That you may submit to your class. In return, I only ask that you return here again to speak with me. You need only say my name. As you may imagine, I do not have much to occupy my time, so please feel free to call on me any time you please as long as you are on school property."

"Why?" Childe stammered out. Zhongli raised an eyebrow. "I mean - Why me? Why do you want to talk to me? I've heard the rumours, people don't usually talk with you longer than a few moments and then they never see you again, and they certainly don't get fucking copies of papers from you, so why me? What makes me different?"

Zhongly merely shrugged. "I am not sure. I find you quite intriguing, and wish to spend more time with you. And yes, it is true, I have never done this before. You are by no means required to call upon me again. Regardless, you may keep the paper. But I would like it very much if you did."

"I - I'll keep that in mind." Childe swallowed thickly. "I've - Uh - Got to get to class. I'll 'call on you' at some point - You're really interesting, and, uh, kinda hot, too, so yeah - I've got to go now bye!" Childe hurried out, heat rushing to his cheeks. He just called the bathroom ghost hot. He needed mental help. He quickly turned in the paper that Zhongli had supplied him, not bothering to go over it to check for errors.

----

Childe zoned out during class and teetered dangerously close to falling asleep a few times. Ms Ningguang was teaching them about the 'God of War' - Morax. Hey, that was what Zhongli called the high school, wasn't it - Morax High.

"Morax often liked to wander amongst Liyue posing as a regular person. This was, in fact, how he met his demise. While in a persona that he often used he, weakened by his temporary mortal form, was ambushed by thieves and slaughtered. He often went by the name Zhongli."

Childe's brain fucking stopped. What. The fuck. He scrambled to flip to the textbook illustration of Morax. Staring back at him was a brunette man, a bit taller than Childe. His hair had amber tips, and his knowing eyes were all too familiar.

----

Zhongli was feeling rather rattled after the interesting conversation that he had with the rather peculiar Snezhnayan transfer. He wasn't sure what had brought him to offer a listening ear to the ginger, but he felt an odd attraction towards him. The ghost found him interesting, challenging, and, sure, attractive. But giving him the answers to a paper?

He paced along the roof, making sure to remain invisible as not to garner unwanted attention. Giving the boy - Childe - his name and the means to call him, as well? That wasn't something Zhongli did. Ever.

And why did he have this giddy feeling in his stomach? He didn't like it. He hadn't felt like this since he died. Since Guizhong. Since Liyue.

He was a ghost. He was dead. He knew that. Childe had no reason to ever want to speak with him. It was extremely unlikely that he would make good on his promise to call on Zhongli. But the ghost couldn't help but hope.

As the weeks went bye, however, that hope slowly began to fade. Zhongli roamed around the school as usual, keeping an eye on the ginger student that had caught his eye. But then - The letter appeared, marked by a call of Zhongli's name and left in the same bathroom where they had first met.

'Zhongli,

This is Childe. I wanted to speak with you, but at the same time I didn't because I'm really fucking awkward and I think you're really fucking cool but I found something else about you that I just want you to confirm or deny. Are you Morax, the God of War?'

Zhongli's heart dropped. How the Snezhnayan had found his identity out, he had no clue, but he knew the smart thing to do - Completely disappear off the student's radar. He definitely shouldn't write back. That would be downright irresponsible. Stupid, even. Completely idiotic.

'Childe,

Yes, I am Morax, the God of War. How you came to possess that information is beyond me, but I see no point in hiding it.

Zhongli.'

The ghost waited anxiously for the ginger student's reply. Thankfully, the gap between interactions didn't last nearly as long, and a letter appeared in the bathroom the very next day with a call of Zhongli's name.

'Zhongli,

Holy fucking shit that's insane. You're an actual God. That's terrifying but also sorta hot as well. I'm assuming you want me to keep all this stuff secret so I won't tell anyone. By the way, I called you hot when we first met and nearly fucking died of embarrassment and then wrote that you were hot here so uh yeah, I think you're hot. Just wanted to say that. Also could we maybe speak like this for a while cuz I'm better at flirting over writing because awkward. And yeah I'd like to flirt with you. If that's okay.'

Zhongli reread the letter once, then twice. Then he read it a third time. Childe, the ginger student he had been borderline obsessing with for weeks, found him attractive? This was far more than the ghost could have ever hoped for.

'Childe,

You have no reason to be terrified of me. I lost my powers when I died. And even if I did possess them, I would not use them to harm you. I also find you attractive - 'Cute', even. And I am completely alright with continuing to send letters back and forth. You are the first person to show an interest in me since the 1700s. I am willing to take this 'flirting' however slow you would like.

Yours, Zhongli.'

This pattern went on for a month. Childe would bring a letter to the bathroom in the morning, marked with a call of Zhongli's name. Zhongli would respond by lunch, during which Childe would make his way to the washroom and grab the note. Zhongli never got to see the ginger's response to his attempts at flirting, as Childe chose to read the letters at home. But Zhongli always saw the grin that spread across Childe's face when he saw the folded up piece of paper at lunch.

But then one day, when Zhongli was walking through the cafeteria at lunch, he saw Childe's arm around another man's shoulder and felt jealousy shoot through his entire being. It hurt.. So much.. More than it had any right to. They had only been together - Or obviously not together, he supposed, if Childe was doing this - For a month and a bit.. But it still felt like Zhongli had died all over again.

The next day, the ghost couldn't bring himself to read the letter. He didn't write a response, either, the thought of confronting his sudo-boyfriend more terrifying than an exorcism. He felt so stupid. So gullible.. So betrayed.

A week or so passed of this. Zhongli stopped listening in on classes and tried to avoid Childe at any costs - Not that the ginger would know that he was nearby, anyways. But every time he caught a glimpse of him, the pangs of hurt came back, and Zhongli saw his arm around the other man all over again.

After yet another week of this, Zhongli was doing his usual routine of moping on the roof feeling sorry for himself when he felt himself being pulled across the building. He was met with a puffy-eyed Snezhnayan in the men's changing room.

"Why?" The ginger said in a hollow voice. "We were getting along so well - And you're the first boyfriend I've ever had - The first person I've ever actually liked, too, so why did you just stop replying?" Ah, so he did consider then boyfriends.

"You clearly did not value our relationship as much as I did."

"What could possibly have made you think that?"

"You with your arm around that other man in the cafeteria two Mondays ago." Zhongli stated plainly.

Childe's brow furrowed. "Y - You mean Scaramouche? He's my roommate - He's my friend, and he's straight. Heterosexual. Interested in girls, and girls exclusively. I like you, not fucking Scaramouche, but if this is how you're going to treat our relationship, I don't think I want to be part of it."

Zhongli's eyes widened and he materialized his hand to grab Childe's wrist, but the ginger pulled away, glaring at the ghost furiously.

"Here I was thinking I did something wrong - Something seriously wrong - But no, you got all jealous because I put my arm around my straight friend's shoulder on open house day. This is fucking crazy. You realize that, right, Zhongli? That this is fucking crazy?"

How could Zhongli have been so stupid? This wasn't the 19th century, people could put their arms around each other's shoulders platonically. He was an idiot. He may have just ruined the only chance at a relationship he would ever have. "I'm so sorry -"

Childe scoffed and put up a hand. "Save it."

Zhongli grabbed him, his thoughts swimming, and slammed his lips against his. Childe froze, and Zhongli noticed that he didn't kiss back.

The ginger pulled away and let out a hollow laugh. "This is how you apologize? You ruin our first kiss? I'm done. I can't do this any more, Zhongli. You ruined this.." He shook his head, disappointed, then walked out of the changing room.

Zhongli felt broken. His chest hurt horribly, and he felt like a terrible person. He had just ruined everything with a man he loved.. Loved. He loved Childe. And now he would never get the chance to show him that.

#angst #hurt no comfort #hnc #zhongchi #childe x zhongli #genshin chili #chili #zhongli #childe #zhongli x childe #fluff #fluff and angst #but mostly angst #omg this is so trash im sorry for writing this

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diaryofan-englishlitstudent · 2 years

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Wednesday 29 June 2022

I forgot to update you on when I was finished with my essay.

I started working on it at 7am, and finally submitted it at 5:30pm.

I actively worked on it for 8 hours.

I'm terrified of getting my mark and my feedback, because I don't think the essay was very good - but I am not going to let it affect me if it is a bad mark.

I find that I tie a lot of my self esteem and confidence to whatever mark or grade I get on an assignment, which is a habit I am trying to desperately to break - especially since my grades recently have been so diverse.

I'm hoping that, next year, as I am having a year off due to my next modules not starting until October 2023, I can write more short stories, and perhaps even work on a novel, and maybe practise my essay writing as well - so as not to lose any progress I have made this year.

Today, my to do list is:

- finish reading the second Fear Street book

- finish Creative Writing chapter 2 in my textbook

- start reading It by Stephen King

I have an assignment due on Thursday for my Creative Writing module, and I am very excited about it, however, I am still so drained from Monday, that I'm putting off studying all day - which is something I will do tomorrow so I don't feel bad on Friday when I, inevitably, watch Stranger Things Season 4 Vol. 2 all day with my sister.

#dark academia #dead poet society #english lit student #light academia #the secret history #student #essay writing #stranger things #creative writing #fear street #it stephen king

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mygainyear2024 · 13 days

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Day 23 Jody the Explorer

But Diego, where's the fucking map!

I had a very restless night, anxious about both driving and kayaking in open waters. I got up at 5.15am to organise myself and psych myself up for the day's events. I forgot it would be dark at 6.15am when I had to leave for Praia de Albandeira to meet Filipe Tidy for my kayak tour to Benagil Caves. So several degrees of difficulty, a manual car, driving on the other side, it's dark, I don't know where I'm going (fingers crossed Siri works)...So, I got out of the "gates" and about 1km in Siri says "make a u-turn at the roundabout". WTF, what does that mean? I had made a wrong turn and here, there's so many one way streets, and some of them are very narrow (I had to put my side mirrors in), one wrong turn can cost several minutes and Filipe told me not to be late!

As I got further I built up my confidence. Re-connecting with manual driving was the simpler bit, remembering which side of the road to be on all the time was quite another experience. I had a 30 minute drive and was told yesterday to be careful as there was a dirt track down to the beach. I realised for two reasons why 7am was the best time slot to have chosen. Firstly, less people on the road, as it was really single vehicle only, and also as you'll see in the photos, apart from my little group of three plus the guide, there were only a handful of other tourists at the cave and they left, so my photos had no-one interrupting the awesomeness of the caves. Last year in summer, the government shut the caves to kayaking as people were injured from the chaos and probably their stupidity.

The ocean was so calm and being in a double with Felipe was even better. It was a bit cool to begin with, but warmed a little as the two hours continued. It was such an incredible experience, the only thing that could have made it better would have been seeing dolphins nearby, which is possible.

So, now that I had wheels and my mojo and it was only 9.15am I needed a plan. First to Porches Pottery for coffee and to browse the pottery. The cafe wasn't open and the pottery was not my taste, but I used the car and their bathroom to do a quick change. I then did a quick google for the best coffee and cake in Porches, which led me to Café Aurora. The owner had no fresh homemade cakes, but the coffee was ok. Her and her son couldn't recommend any decent pottery. It was a neat café and the son said they have their crowd of locals who visit and I saw a few of them dribble in while I was there. The son recommended a visit to Armação de Pêra, another beach side village. Again I googled best coffee and cakes and ended up at O Rei das Bolas de Berlim. Crap coffee (made with UHT as is frequent in the local pastelerias) and an ok pastel de nata and a custard donut! The beachfront area was lovely to walk along, but Praia da Rocha and surrounds is much better. I jumped back in the car and headed to Silves to look at what I might have missed yesterday. This time I chose to avoid highways as well as tolls, and ended up on some single lane only, back country roads wandering statistically what the riskiest proposition is!

Silves was pretty warm like yesterday and the mercado wasn't fully operating, some of the stores were closed and I was getting hungry. The son from the Porches café mentioned that Café Inglês was good. He did say on the weekend for music. I had one of the specials, creamy cheese bacalhau (cod)! As much as Mum's tuna mornay was ok as a kid I thought the world may have progressed since those days in the 1970s and 80s. It was ok, but a bit pricey at €14.

Back in the car at 3.05pm to try and grab my race bib for Thursday's run from Tourist Information, get to the gym, grab some items for the Seven Hanging Valleys hike tomorrow with Rosie, shower and to happy hour drinks at the Moonlight Bar by 5pm. I almost made it by 6pm! So here's the reference to "where's the fucking map". En route home my iphone decides to overheat and nothing works until it cools down! Nowhere to pull over so I just follow the signs and luckily it comes back on before I hit the hectic traffic in Portimão. At one point the police were behind me, then an ambulance with sirens was trying to get around me going up a tiny one way street. I aborted the Tourist Information, concentrated hard to get home and had to make a cup of tumeric tea to calm down.

I was looking forward to the Moonlight Bar expat happy hour drinks on Tuesday night, but it was not really pumping. I met Jim Young, who tells me he is an independent music producer from the UK. He rattles off some names I haven't heard of until he mentions Sting and Simon Cowell and assisting one of the Britain's Got Talent contestants win. He and his wife Sue are a lovely couple who spend a lot of their retirement in their campervan in Portugal.

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letthylightshine · 4 months

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What has my day been like?

Good Afternoon, friends! I am going to let you all know what my day has been like. First of all, my sleep was sweet but my schedule was completely off. The weather has been affecting my sinuses so bad. My nose has been running and stopped up for almost a week now. Its contradicting because the weather in the past two days have been in the 60's. Why is it so cold in my house? I have been making arrangements to keep it warm. I've got my spaceheater going in addition to the AC Heat.

So, I am a FT Wife to Carlos Ramirez. My days consist of cooking for him and I, cleaning the house, organizing anything I can get my hands on, sleeping & napping, studying Spanish, reading my bible, praying, personal hygiene, and now blogging and social media. All these things together are like a Full-Time job. And now I am looking for a job because I am desiring an increase in my living standards. Hopefully, I can get a job that is for me and I will be able to simplify some things for Carlos and I. Carlos and I are both independent people. If we can do it ourselves, we will do it. And that even narrows it down to fixing our own vehicles because Carlos is Mechanic.

However, in the past few years I have been quite fascinated by the: "Hi, we are calling you about your cars extended auto warranty!" phone calls because who would have know that car warranties came with such convenience. I'll have to tell you all about it later. Let's get into my day!

"You may not believe, but you will see my power." - Jesus

This morning, my day began at about 7:00AM. I woke up to achy, stuffy nose because of the sudden weather change within the past two weeks. Fall seems to be transitioning out and Winter is transitioning in. In my most recent 5 years, I decided: "I like winter because its not so bad on the body. Plus, I can dress cute with my winter clothes - layers, scarves, boots, flannel button downs." Do you get the jist ?" I am going to have to see how this winter is going to be. As I stated, the past two days have been in the mid-60's, which is good, but its still quite cold for me. My husband, Carlos, is from Mexico. He's told me how, in Mexico, they don't experience a Winter Season. Atleast, not where he lives in VeraCruz. I'd much rather live in Veracruz at this point, but he's enjoying the stability he's gained in Estabas Unidos. So, I don't rush it but I have said: "I'd like me a Mexico Original home in the suburbs of Mexico or atleast on some nice land." With the curvy brick- style shingles. Yes!

Carlos is funny and he loves to tell jokes here and there but last night got me! He said, "You're working on the roof with me tomorrow?" Half serious/Half joking I said, "Yes!" very seriously. Meanwhile, I said: "Yes!" at maybe 8pm in the night. I have not really been out of the house, especially in the morning time, in a long while. Plus, its "cold outside." I believe I answered too soon. I woke up about 7AM and I was like : "Yes! New day. (I was sleeping on the love seat in our bedroom. I had fell asleep there after my shower.) Now, it's time to get in bed and have the real sleep." Moments later, Carlos' alarm goes off at 7:30 AM.

He's like: "Mi Reyna, despierta! Wake up! We are working on the roof this morning! Let's get ready!" I am like: "Oh no, I was just playing when I said yes." So, I layed back down. Carlos began getting ready. Friends, my nose was stopped up, sinuses congested, throat mildly sore - Can we say it may have been the end of the world considering the circumstances! Carlos has to basically peel me out of the bed like you use a spatula to scramble eggs when you forgot to put a little oil or butter on the skillet! Mama wasn't ready!

So, I got up! I was upset! But, I got up, brushed my teeth, put on clothes, and we were out the door. We had to go to Collierville for his work today! Carlos work sites vary from Arlington, Cordova, maybe Memphis, Millington, Covington, or Southaven - all in Memphis and surrounding areas. Today we went to Collierville. These houses are nice and beautiful too. They are brand new houses - some are for sale and others are still new construction or under construction.

This Morning began to be a beautiful day after I finally got up! We drove towards Collierville and I started having faint memories of my days when I used to be in Collierville and East Memphis with my friends. It was sweet memories and maybe I also teared up but it was nothing compared to the NOW. We stopped at the corner store for gas. Carlos offered to purchase me something from the store. Carlos is so kind, caring, and nurturing. He's awesome. I love him! I ordered me a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit with a V8 Vegetable Drink. Talk about good! It was delicious! The biscuit was perfectly soft, flaky, and mouthwatering. I tore that biscuit up! Carlos got more coffee, LOL. He'd just had coffee at home, but I guess, "When you gotta go, ya gotta go!"

We arrived at his worksite. I began to become a little nervous because I had not worked with Carlos in a while. Especially moving those heavy shingles, as he asks me to assist him with. And thats exactky what he needed me to do. I have been meditating on the verse that says: "Do not be greedy for money and appreciate what you have." I have been appreciating God blessing me to be a Stay-At-Home wife. So, Carlos asking or making me come to work with him this morning really put me a little on edge and out of my normal routine. I said NO to helping with the shingles today. It's as though the Holy Spirit said, "Carlos should have called his boss and requested emergency back-up since he was the only person working. I did not sign you up for this and you're allowed to say no." So, I said no. I felt a little bad for my honey but alls fair in love! He accepted my NO and got to work. So, I decided to pray for us so that we can have a good day with our great expectation. After praying, the Sun came out and I swore I could see the Father's face. It was well with my soul.

Then, I'd remembered that I'd been having knee pains. The neighborhood was a pretty good size to walk around, even offering a walking trail. Do you know what I did? Got to walking!

Listen to a favorite of mine:

youtube

Yes, you all - I began walking this really bad knee pain off. I did not understand where it came from but I did realize I have not been exercising as much since it got colder outside. This was perfect timing to begin building my motivation to walk in my own neighborhood. As I began to walk, the pain slowly but surely began to go away. I am going to keep on walking until the pain is no more. I am going to have to manage it throughout the winter. I have to get back motivated to exercise all together.

Once I had enough walking, I rested in our van, took a nap, and woke up to Carlos asking for more assistance with those heavy shingles. This time, I said: "Yes, my love!" You all, I could only do so much. Then, it began sprinkling! "Yes!" I shouted in my mind because I did not need Carlos to get frustrated thinking that I did not want to help. Neither did I want the Lord to think the same. So, I prayed like Elijah that it would not rain, LOL. My prayer was: "Lord, please don't let it rain today. And don't let it rain for 3 years. And keep hydrating the Earth and its inhabitants. Amen." I had to show that my faith is strong and unfaltering. Then, it began to rain harder! Ha, sometimes you gotta be happy and joyful even when you don't get what you've asked for. Its possible with gratitude!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to share the story of Elijah and the Prayer Of Rain:

Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit (James 5:17-18).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It began to rain even harder. I got so happy and I am sure Carlos did too because then we could go home and spend some quality time with one another, which is rare in the afternoon time of most days. Carlos usualy gets home after the sun has gone down. So, we packed up all the tools - nails, ladders, nail guns, and more. Then, we headed home. Our day was adventurous because we received what we did not expect - but the flowers need the rain, so it was good. And we need the rain to replenish the harvest. Take a good look at the fields, the harvest is ready!

We got home, cooked dinner, and I am now relaxing and concluding my day! It was short but sweet. Carlos is outside looking at my vehicle. Its been a tiring day so relaxation is needed.

Thank you very much for reading! Until next time....<3

#bible verses #jesus #jesus christ #jesus is coming #jesus of nazareth #Youtube

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quinnzeta21 · 5 months

Text

HER (Chapter 4)

We arrived at her house 15 minutes later. Should I just drop her or bring her inside the house? I try to wake her up and she's looking around clueless "we had arrived at your house Miss Dawson". She is just sitting there and stares at the house. I decided to go out and open the door for her, I held her hand to help her out. I ask her if I can have the key so that I can open the main door. She gave me her bag for me to search for the key. Is it okay to intrude on someone's bag like this? I try to open the door while I hold her tight so that she won't fall.

I guide her into the room and lay her down to the bed guessing she will be fine until tomorrow. A second went by, she rush to the bathroom and I know at that very moment, I need to help her. I rub her back to help her with the puke. I wait for her to get some sleep so that I can walk carefully to the door "please don't go.." she said with a soft tone. "Me?" While pointing to myself "if you say so, I'll be sleeping downstairs?".

"No, sleep here.... Besides me". Wait, did she ask me to sleep next to her? I walk towards her and sit on side of the bed thinking if she really mean that. She patting the side of the bed asking me to lay down next to her. I try to lay carefully beside her but before I going to sleep, I need to text Tanya saying that I won't be back for tonight. I try to shut my eyes hopefully to get some sleep and not to think about this awkwardness scene that I've been through.

It's 7am in the morning and Miss Dawson's alarm just wake me up. I open my eyes and see Miss Dawson's face were so close to me. So I'm in the state of shock and fall from the bed until I wake her up by the sound of my body hit the floor. "Are you alright? What are you doing here?". Wow she just ask me that "you asked me to sleep here last night, Miss". Her clueless face seems like she really doesn't remember what happened to her last night.

She looks at the clock saying that we late for work. Damn, I forgot it's already Monday and how am I supposed to go back and change my clothes? "We're late, I'm going to take an outfit for you to wear" did she just read my mind? She rush out leaving me alone and came back again with an outfit "this could be the exact size for you, here" giving it to me and it really does had the exact same size. "Miss Dawson, thank you. But whose dress is this" she didn't answer me so I guess I need to leave her alone to get ready for the day.

I wait her downstairs while checking my phone. There's one message from Tanya

*where do you sleep?

*That cold heart woman's house *sent

Miss Dawson already go downstairs and straight to the door. Wait, is she forgot that I'm here? I follow her to get outside. "Miss Dawson, you just left your car at the bar last night". She look at me "then? take me there asap". Gosh, I really hate that woman.

As we drove to take her car-

"y/n, thank you about last night...bringing me home and helping me out while I'm drunk... and even pay for my drinks" she smile at me

"It's okay, no need to mention bout that, I'm here. " there's a pause from me "...to help you, remember?"

She did remember what happened last night. But why did she ask me to lay by her side? Why did she act like she didn't know what happened last night? She hates me before and she's a bit cold towards me. As we arrived at her car:

"y/n, let me go first. You can get your breakfast before you arrive"

"Is it okay? Because we are already late?"

"If the Principal ever ask about you. I know what to say to her. Don't worry"

She give me a smile. That's weird, the way she treats me since last night. I just decided to get some coffee for me and her. A Hazelnut Frappe for me and Café au lait for her. I might add some croissants for us too. I want to see she eat something.

At the campus

I know I'm late like really late because there's some students and even the staff asking me. Not to mention, I saw Principal Cooper at the corner walking towards my way. I greet her with a smile hoping she do the same and didn't ask anything. She smiles and greets me back. Thinking maybe Miss Dawson already said to her I'll be a bit late.

But before I enter the class with coffees and croissants, I have a question to ask to Principal Cooper

"Urmm Principal Cooper, wait!"

She turn around to face me right after I call her. "Yes Miss y/n?"

"Can I ask you a question? It's about Miss Dawson."

"Meet me after class in my office. I have something to do now" she just smile and walk away.

I enter the classroom and see some students getting scold by not following what Miss Dawson asked to. I can see her face was red like she's going to explode and I need to see what's going wrong with the experiment they were doing. Miss Dawson ask me to help them instead while she's going to get some fresh air.

"Oh Peter, no wonder Miss Dawson getting mad at you guys. This is ammonium chloride. If it's expose, it might affect the kidneys or they can causes asthma attack. Why did you play with it at first?"

No one answering my question. Ammonium chloride, didn't it supposed to be banned? How can it get in here?

Miss Dawson already came into the classroom but her face change, something is happening. It's like she's anxious about something. I'm going to ask her later after all the students are going out. But before that, I gave her coffee and croissant that I bought from the cafe.

She's going to refuse it, I know by looking at her tired eyes after crying? "Please Miss Dawson? You didn't take anything after last night... I didn't even know if you had eaten or not ever since I got here last week. Not going to be an intruder in your life or what. It's just, I'm concerned about you". She take the food that I bought for her.

I forgot the classes are not over yet because they were staring at us. Means, they heard every single details that I said to that woman. I try to distracted them by asking for a homework before they get back. That's if she agrees with me to give them a homework to do.

After they're leaving, it's just me and her. But then I saw her tears falling that makes me wonder and want to stay by her side to ask her why?

"Miss Dawson, are you alright? Is it about the wrong experiment they did or?"

"The chemical, if someone knows they are bringing it to the campus..... I will get blamed for it.. don't you think people will say that is my responsibility? And if I get blame for it , means -"

"Sshhh sshhh". I try to calm her down "no one is blaming you. It's not your fault. It's just, I don't know where they get it. But don't worry. I promise you that everything will be fine". I ask her to go home and leave the cleaning on me.

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•��◍⁠)⁠❤(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

#ao3 #fanfic #my writing #stories #wattpad #writing #fiction

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artikgato · 8 months

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9/22/2023

Route creation is, indeed, janky and busted. Well, kind of. Yesterday after work I was able to create a nice little 15 minute loop route through the campground. The process was surprisingly easy and everything worked fine, no problems. I'm of course waiting for it to get approved and/or for me to get banned because that's apparently something that's happening right now, people are getting 30 day bans after submitting routes and stops, and the reasons for the ban are unclear.

But anyway! This morning I did not wake up at 5am at all but I did wake up around 7am on my own with no alarm, so that's something. A little before 8 I was out the door for my jogwalk with a plan to create a nice little route between two of the stops that I always pass, but to my shock someone else had already created a route here and it's... very difficult to follow said route, backwards or forwards or what have you, from where I start my jogwalk. Because the route starts/ends in the middle of the retirement community. Granted there aren't like gates or anything to get in there, but it's a dead end! You walk in and follow the road - not a sidewalk or clearly marked path at all, the road - to get to a stop and a gym, and then you have to turn your ass right back around and go back the way you came.

So clearly one of the old people made the route. Which is fine, let them have their route, they deserve it! But obviously I can't use that route, at least not conveniently, so I proceeded with my initial plan of creating my own route (with blackjack and hookers), and so I did. Or I tried to. I don't know if the same Pokéstop can't be used in multiple routes, or if because I was jogging for part of the route the route creation stopped working, or if you have to be basically standing on top of the end Pokéstop for the route to be created. IDK. All I do know is that the route creation did, in fact, not work for me this morning. So tomorrow I'm going to have to try the route backwards, I guess. Which sucks, because I hate doing the jogwalk route backwards.

I also have a lot of opinions about how Niantic is offering people that can't complete the timed Master Ball research a "lifeline" in the form of special research you can buy to get it. Because that doesn't scream money grab, nope. Give us this challenging research for free but make one of the tasks almost impossible (60 raids, Niantic? win 60 raids??) and then after a few weeks you come out with "oh, but if you can't finish the research in time you can buy this easier research instead!" If that special research costs actual money and not Pokécoins, and if that actual dollar amount is above $0.99 I am never giving Niantic another cent of my money. Ridiculous. I used to buy extra incubators and remote raid passes fairly frequently, before they stopped giving us free remote raid passes and upped the price on those.

So anyway, that was my morning jogwalk. It wasn't quite cold enough to keep me from overheating in the sweatshirt I wore this morning, and I forgot to pause my timer so rather than just guessing at what my final time actually was, I'm leaving it off for today. I stopped to do a 3 star raid and I also doubled back to try to get the route creation to work, so my time was super skewed anyway. Here's hoping the rest of the day is less frustrating!

Weather: 62, sunny Humidity: 78% Word count: 628 Song of the Day: Hum Hallelujah, Fall Out Boy

#mental health jogwalk

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now-we-say-c0ral · 1 year

Text

April 11, 2023

Sleep last night wasn't exactly that great. My body tends to not sleep very deeply when it knows that it's going to be the first day of the week that it's going back to work. Same with Eddie. Went to the train station around 5.45am and gave each other a kiss goodbye. He's kind of sweet for that. Arrived in Waterloo just in time for my 6.27am train back to Norbiton and got back home even before 7am. Passed by Little Waitrose to get me my favorite double espresso shot with milk in a can by Starbucks. It's really the best, mind you. It only costs, like, what? 1.5£? It's a steal. Gotta get your caffeine in your system.

Got to work at around 7.35am and there wasn't really much to do. Most cases have been cancelled and only the local Plastic list was running. Relieved the staff there for a while until most of them have had their breaks and helped arrange and clean some stuff in the unit. Went to lunch with Carla and Dani in the canteen. The day at work was very uneventful. Went home at around 5.30pm.

I could see the end of my schedule in Kingston in my work roster and it's kind of giving me mixed feelings. I THINK I won't be planning a big leaving due party for me. I'm shy. I just planned to bring food on my last day and that's it but the boys in the unit are asking if I did want to go on a fishing trip with them along with the others too as my leaving due party. It's kind of cute how they're thinking of planning this in my behalf and even if it won't happen, I guess I'm fine. I'm fine with the thought of them having have thought of me and how to make my last day with them memorable for me. They're literally the cutest.. and also the best.

Went to the gym and got there around 6.40pm-ish. Did legs, a bit of arms (so I could do it again tomorrow), and abs. Forgot to do some push-ups but nevermind, I'll do chest and shoulders tomorrow.

SZA's having her concert here in London by June 17 and 18, I think. Me, Porcia, Kim, and JC are going. I'm gonna make a groupchat and we're all going to be going to the concert. I'm so excited! Can't wait to bawl singing Kill Bill. Cancelled my meetup with John this Sunday. I know and feel that he's not into it as much as we were two weeks ago so why bother, right? But I am meeting up with JC this Sunday. Maybe around Shoreditch, he says. I have so many stories to tell him, my gosh. I think I'll just cry, to be fucking honest. My time here in the UK is anything but easy and to have another Zamboangeno hear my unheard and unspoken experiences, it's going to be so emotional for me.

Also have spoken to someone from Facebook Marketplace about buying a closet... Ed's landlords have okayed me getting one since they won't get me, which is kind of understandable considering Ed has a wardrobe and a chest of drawers. I just have to consult with Eddie if he'd think he'd like the design.

Went to Aldi after going to the gym and bought some essentials for my lunch and snacks at work. Going back to protein shakes in the morning. I have to build muscle. I'm not building any.

Thoughts... Mmm? I was overthinking again... but I didn't let the thoughts get too deep in my skin. I guess this is what I meant about what I wrote yesterday, that I feel more equipped handling difficult situations like this.

Just waiting for a call from Eddie then will cap the night off.

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nobody-cares-what-you-say-online · 2 years

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I didn't write yesterday because I didn't complete my goal of focusing on work on Monday. I didn't want to admit it to the internet. This is the first time since starting this blog that I didn't complete my daily goal, which isn't too impressive since I just started writing here. My meeting with my boss was canceled because her pet is ill, so I got some extra time. Instead of focusing on work and accomplishing more in advance of our rescheduled Thursday meeting, I have been reading about celebrity drama on Twitter for the past two days.

Why am I like this?

I also just realized that I forgot to take my ADHD medication this morning, and it's almost too late to take it now. I have to take it before 11, and it's 10:50. Glad I noticed now and not 30 minutes from now.

I ordered a couple of books today to help redirect my focus. I got Women with ADHD and Atomic Habits. I'm not sure if reading will help, but I guess we will see. They should arrive tomorrow, so maybe reading will be my goal then.

Goal: Today's goal is partially tomorrow's goal. I used to wake up at 6am every day and do a customized "Miracle Morning" from Hal Elrod's book. I used the Morning Sidekick journal from HabitNest to set my intentions before bed and track my progress, and I loved it. I finished the whole first journal and then purchased volume two to keep my momentum going. I did about half of the second journal and then stopped. I don't remember what got me off track. That's not important now. What is important is starting again. I'm going to erase my progress in volume two and start over. I want to re-establish the habit of waking up early and taking at least 5 minutes to start my day off right. I've been starting my day by ignoring my 7am alarm and laying in bed on Twitter for an hour. It sucks the life out of me before I'm even fully alive. I hate it, and I don't know why I do it.

[Twitter is ruining my life, honestly. I need a serious Twitter detox. I hate the word detox, but I don't know what else to call it. I deleted the app from my phone, but I just open it in the browser. It's insane. I'm so addicted. Maybe my goal should be to quit Twitter for a week or something. But I kind of don't want to? I'll come back to that one. Yikes.]

Gratitude: I've been trying to hold back on using my partner for my daily gratitude because I'm most grateful for him. It feels like a cop-out. I could say I'm grateful for him every day, and it would be true. I would never run out of wonderful things to say about him. He's so supportive and kind and funny and sexy and amazing. Sometimes I don't know why he's with me. I never clean up after myself, and I'm always in some other world. But I love him and he loves me. I am so lucky.

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years

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Living with Losing You - 9/19/2022

Grief is a bitch.

But not actually. It’s truly just displaced love that will never find a home. To grieve is a beautifully tragic phenomenon. It is the purest emotion to show how much you truly loved and cared about someone. I’ll get into why I started my blog with this later on.

This morning I finally woke up feeling like I had gotten decent sleep AKA more than 4-5 hours like I had been the last 4 nights. I quickly got dressed, and then dropped off Sadie at camp for the day. I needed to go into the office, so I wanted to make sure she as not bored at home. Plus, she primarily hung out at home yesterday with all the storage fiascos. After I dropped her off, I quickly ran to PS to grab breakfast before starting my back to back work meetings this morning. After those meetings, I packed up my things and drove to our Mission Valley location. I like going into work every so often / as needed. It gives for a nice change of pace, and it’s always great to see my coworkers.

After working and getting things done in the office, I realized I was cutting it close for practice. I still needed to go home and change too. So, I took my last meeting of the day in my car and headed home to change before heading to the high school. Today’s practice was mile repeats. The boys did pretty well, I was impressed with their ability to stick with it. The main critique I had was I kept telling them to “hug lane one” (if you know you know) and they insisted to continue to run their repeats in lane 2-3. I mean, if they want to run extra that’s fine by me. Between the warm up, workout, and cool down, they all did somewhere between 7-9 miles total. Luckily it was not too hot today, so we did not have to worry about heat warnings or anything like that. I had a pretty good run myself (but actually not really). My first mile was pretty quick, and then I just got super tired out after it. I need to be better about pacing, I just get very excited when I run and it can be hard to tone that down at times. I will get my fitness back though. I know I have to give myself grace.

After practice I quickly ran to get Sadie, and then we picked up In-n-Out for dinner. I forgot to mention this earlier, but while I was at work I did eat, and had ordered a salad. i realize I definitely have an eating out problem, but I also hate cooking, am too busy to have the patience for it, and enjoy efficiency. I want to look into HelloFresh or some kind of meal prep box. It would save me money and the meals seem fairly simple. Which I like.

Anyway, when I got home I fed Sadie and then fed myself (lol). I am really not sure why, but my depression has gotten pretty bad the last couple of days. Well, maybe I do know why, it was very triggering to go to the storage unit and start to organize, prep donations, prep what I am selling, etc. It’s been all so much to emotionally take on.

I had one of the worst breakdowns I have had since you died. This blog is all about being honest and vulnerable, so I will be. I want to reiterate that I do see hope, and that I do know there is so much that God wants to use mw for in this life. But, this does not mean that the depression doesn’t creep in and make you feel like you want to die. Especially when someone who you loved more than anything died. This panic attack included intense breathing, hyperventilating, lightheadedness, lots of tears, etc. It was very hard to get out of it. I had to use sensory and talk to myself to get out of it. I am just so anxious. I can’t even imagine what you felt like.

I really need to get some sleep, I have a webinar at 7am that I have to help run, among all the other meetings that I had to move from Wednesday to tomorrow that I need to prep for. Even just remembered that I forgot to send an email to the team. Oh well. See - it’s those things in life where it truly doesn’t matter. I am not going to worry about it until I log on.

I love you so much, James. This pain is the worst pain that I have ever felt in my entire life, and again, my mom left me at a young age. And then left me again when I was 18. It’s been hard for both myself and those around me to understand that reflecting and moving forward can coexist. Being happy while also being sad can coexist as well #mysecretdepression But hey, it’s not a secret anymore because I am #breakingthestigma

Both of the animals are sleeping on either bottom side the bed. I miss the days when we would all just hang out together and lounge on the couch, watch a movie, build legos while they tried to play with the pieces, etc.

So many memories keep you alive in my heart.

We will all be reunited again, one day.

God is good, always.

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

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scifiphan · 6 years

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squish

#hi it's me joining every other gifmaker in giffing this moment #dan and phil #phan #dnp #teddiigifs #dnpgifs #making my blog pink again means it's appropriate to make pink giffus #once again this video was a blessing #it's 10pm now i may go read and try to sleep #i forgot i have work at 7am tomorrow #i haven't done an open at Daiso in like a solid month i am not keen

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falsesalvation · 3 years

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forgor sunblock when i was out on the island today for 7 hours

#i’m a genius! it’s fine #in my defense it was overcast and also not sweltering so i forgot #i KNOW overcast is worse but whatever damage is done #i have to be up at 7am for work tomorrow lmao!!!!#jasper posts

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bucky-barmes · 3 years

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☾✧✧✧ Is that my shirt? ✧✧✧☽

nondescript reader x Bruce Banner

In which you stay the night at the Avengers Tower unbeknownst to Bruce and he wonders how you got his shirt.

[ a/n: okay well i lost the prompt list this was from so that's fun ]

[ word count: 958 words (this was supposed to be a fun kinda short thing whoops)

includes: shy boi Bruce, Tony actually being a decent human being, slightly fluffy, unspoken feels????? -18 friendly

[ all works are my own, do not repost, translate or any other sort of thing, no consent is given ]

☾✧✧✧✧✧✧☽

"Shit, is that the time?" You gawked at your watch showing almost 1am. "Bruce, I'm sorry, I gotta go." You grabbed your coat as you walked to the door of his lab. "Gotta take the subway and all." All you could do was offer him a sheepish smile. You hated leaving work unfinished, but at this rate you were nowhere near finishing up the study.

Bruce fiddled with his glasses, looking like he wanted to say something, but his brows furrowed.

"No, that's alright Y/N, it's pretty late." He slid his glasses back on. "Uh- make sure you get home safe. Text me when you're home." Ever the gentleman, but something told you that's not all he wanted to say.

"Always do." Your head tilted at him as you shrugged your coat on. "See you later today, I guess." A smirk traced your lips but was replaced with a grimace at the thought of having to be up at 7am.

As you made your way to the elevator you see Tony making his way out of the kitchen.

"Night, Tony, see you tomorrow." You gave him a short wave, not intending to stop for a chat.

"Woah, woah, woah, where are you going?" Tony almost demanded, hands up to stop you from stepping further.

"Home. Believe it or not I actually have my own one of those, I just choose to live my life here."

"At this time of night? You've got to be joking. Didn't Bruce tell you you can crash here?" Your eyebrow quirked at that. Was that why he was so nervous when you left?

"No, he failed to mention that." Your eyes narrowed in thought. "But if the offer still stands, I'd love to take you up on it. The subway at this time is not fun." Another grimace, this time at the thought of riding the subway by yourself at 1am.

"Always." Tony had already started leading you down the hall as he spoke, pointing to a door close to Bruce's lab. "That's one of the spare rooms, head in and I'll grab you some stuff."

You weren't quite sure what stuff was, but you didn't have to wait long for Tony's return. You had barely walked into the room and taken your coat off when he came in with a handful of fabric.

"Some towels and robe in case you want to shower, and a change of clothes- well, a fresh shirt. I doubt you'd fir any of our pants and Nat isn't here to ask." Tony shrugged, handing you the surprisingly neatly folded pile. Definitely not his work.

"You're the best, Tony." You take the pile appreciatively, glancing at your watch as you do. "I'll see ya' in the morning."

The rest of the night goes quickly, too quickly. A groan escapes your lips as you alarm starts blaring, slapping your hand onto your phone screen in an attempt to hit the snooze button. Then, the thought of an Avengers grade shower sprung to mind. It had to beat your shitty trickle of a shower back at your apartment.

Safe to say that was the best shower you had ever had. Nothing beat actual water pressure, but the waterfall shower head was a nice added bonus.

Stepping back into the room from the ensuite, you had the robe wrapped tightly around you. As comfortable as it was, you didn't think it was exactly appropriate to wear into the kitchen for breakfast. You were technically in your workplace after all.

Your eyes ran over the crumpled pile of your clothes from the day before, nose crinkling at the thought. Definitely not something you wanted to put back on. Then your eyes wandered over to the extra t-shirt Tony brought in for you. Well, it wasn't like you had any other options.

"I mean, it could definitely be worse." You murmured to yourself, looking over the outfit in the mirror. It was oversized, but not quite enough to be a t-shirt dress. You fished around in your bag, remembering the pair of comfy shorts you keep in your bag in case of emergencies, a triumphant "ah-ha" falling from your lips as your grabbed them out.

With the shorts now pulled on, you padded down the hall to the kitchen. Today was just going to have to be a casual Friday, on a Wednesday.

In the kitchen you were met with a chorus of questioning "good morning?" from the team, including Bruce. Clearly Tony had forgot to mention to any of them that you had stayed the night.

"You're here early, Y/N." Steve observed, taking a sip of his coffee as he eyed your choice of attire.

"Oh, I- uh, actually stayed the night." You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly as you explained. "It was almost 1am by the time Bruce and I finished up, so Tony offered for me to say." A smile made its way to your lips as Bruce placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of you.

"Is that my shirt?" Bruce stared down at your outfit, head tilted in confusion. "I mean- sorry- it's just, that looks like one of my-" "Just keep digging, big boy." Tony slapped him on the back as he walked past towards the sink. "Yes, it is yours. I thought it was only fair as you didn't offer for poor Y/N to stay the night."

Your eyes widen and Bruce smiled timidly. "Sorry, Y/N, I wanted to, just couldn't get the words out."

"It's alright, you wouldn't have got to see me in your shirt if you did." You offer him a cheeky wink. "Besides, I think I look quite good in it." "Better than me."

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