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#i get compared to her a lot and I can kind of see it ?? either way huge compliment awe
jordyn14 · 3 days
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Hi can you please write a Joe x reader where they’re getting ready for a wedding (or some other formal event) But Joe is playing catch with their son and reader keeps telling them to come inside and get ready and Joe keeps saying 5 more minutes
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Pairing: Joe Burrow x fem first person
Words: 2739
Notes: I have been swamped with finals this week and probably most of next week as well, but I’m still trying to find the time to write. I hope you enjoy!! <3
Taglist: @wickedfun9
“I’m almost done doing my hair, can you put Benji’s shoes on?” I called out to Joe who was just in the room building legos with our 5 year old son a little bit ago. As soon as I finished curling the last strand of hair, I flipped all of my hair to the front and looked at myself in the mirror for the millionth time and to my pregnant belly which was showing through my dress. About a week ago I started to show and I couldn’t wait to have another kid, especially if he or she was anything like Benji.
Today is the day one of my good friends get’s married to her high school sweetheart, and I am so excited. When we met at college my first year, I always talked about how I wanted a love just like hers. For one, their relationship was so stable. There was never a time when they wouldn’t trust each other or went behind each other’s backs because their relationship was built around honestly and loyalty. I never thought I would have that kind of relationship until I met Joe. People always talk about love at first sight, and I didn’t believe them until I experienced it with Joe.
After a few seconds of not hearing any response from Joe or Benji and not hearing the clattering of legos as they tried to make something new, I peaked my head out and saw the empty bedroom. I raised my eyebrow in confusion since Joe said they were all done and didn’t need to do anything else to get ready except put shoes on. Thinking that maybe they were one step ahead of me, I headed out of the room and downstairs where I searched and searched and found no sign of either of them.
All of a sudden, I could hear them playing outside. “That was a perfect throw dad!” Benji yelled from outside. I couldn’t help but smile as soon as I heard him and headed for the back door. I should’ve known that they were outside. As soon as Joe found out we were having a little boy, he bought all kinds of sporting equipment for kids so his son could try out every sport with him to decide what he liked best. Joe bought baseballs, basketballs, soccer balls, golf clubs, volleyballs, tennis rackets, and of course footballs. Every day leading up to the day our son could actually really use all of the equipment, Joe talked nonstop about how much he wanted him to grow up.
As soon as I turned the corner and looked out of the huge glass sliding door, I saw Joe and Benji throwing a foam football around the yard. The first thing that caught my eye was my perfect husband in a suit. Yes, a suit. Even though I knew the jacket and tie would come off towards the end of the night, I was so excited when he told me he was wearing one. Joe looks great in almost everything he wears, and he wears some pretty questionable things, but a suit always looks absolutely amazing. I could barely take my eyes off of him and the way his fluffy hair hung on forehead. Oh and that smile. It never left his face when he was with the people he loved.
After practically drooling over my husband for a few seconds while I walked to the door, I looked down at little Benji who used all of his might to throw that foam football all the way up at Joe who looks huge compared to Benji. It was adorable seeing him use every ounce of strength to muscle it up to him. Benji is a lot like Joe in the way that they are both extremely competitive. In baseball, Benji wants to field every grounder and hit home runs every single time. When he doesn’t, he cries. It’s heartbreaking to see him so worked up over something as simple as him not getting a hit or not being the best on the team yet even though he’s the youngest, but then I remember that he’s a lot like Joe in pretty much every fiber of his being. Benji is sensitive as well as competitive, and Joe’s been helping him so much with his little emotions.
When Joe caught the ball which was a perfect throw to his chest, he had the biggest and encouraging smile on his face and leaned his arm back to throw it back gently. Although I couldn’t hear Joe because he wasn’t yelling like Benji was, I could see him say, ‘that was great, Benji. This time, make sure to step with your left foot like I taught you.’ Benji jumped a little bit and yelled with a laugh, “oh yeah, I forgot!” Joe just chuckled and threw the football back to Benji who caught it.
When I got closer and Joe saw something walking towards him, he looked over at me and as soon as he saw me, his face lit up and he gave me that adorable and toothy smile that I love so much. The way he let out a relieved breath to see his wife coming over to him, the way clenched and unclenched his hands nervously, and the way he couldn’t take his eyes off of me made butterflies fly around in my stomach. Even though we’ve been together for years, it still feels like a little teenage romance. It always feels young and alive. I also couldn’t help but notice how his cheeks flushed red when he looked me up and down repeatedly, keeping his eyes on not only my pregnant belly but my face extra long.
As soon as Benji heard the door start to open, he looked at the door super quick and instead of throwing it to Joe like he was about to, smiled up at me, showing me that big gap in his teeth where he lost his first ever tooth just a few days ago. Just to make sure Benji didn’t wake up that night when the ‘tooth fairy’ came, Joe dressed up as a little fairy and went into his room to put the money under his pillow, although I said I could do it since I would be a more convincing fairy. Luckily Benji didn’t wake up to see just how different the tooth fairy looked in person.
“Did you see me throw the ball? I’m getting better!” Benji said and looked back to his dad and threw the ball. This time, he stepped with his left food and threw it perfectly to Joe. “You’re getting so much better at throwing. Pretty soon, you’ll be just like your daddy on the field.” I said with a smile. Watching them together brought me so much Joy, especially watching Joe be a dad, which he’s always wanted. “Really?” Benji said with a shocked look on his face. Joe chuckled at benji’s reaction. “If you keep practicing, I can guarantee you that you’ll be the best football player around. But right now, we need to go or we’ll be late.” I said, trying to get them to come inside and finish getting ready, since Benji now had dirt on his hands and they both had dirt on their shoes.
Right when I said this, Benji’s bottom lip stuck out slightly but was about to walk over to me when Joe said, “aw, 5 more minutes?” I glared up at Joe jokingly. Of course he decided to do this now when we had to go somewhere. We both held eye contact as he gave me those adorable puppy dog eyes, and then I looked to Benji who looked excited. “Yeah, 5 more minutes! Please mommy?” He asked me. Benji looked over at me and then to Joe who was still giving me those pitiful eyes. The next thing I knew, Benji was copying Joe and was now giving me puppy dog eyes as well. After a few seconds, I caved. “You guys are impossible. 5 more minutes if you promise to put on your outdoor shoes so I can clean up your good ones.” I said. “Okay!” Benji said and ran over to me.
Like his life depended on it, he took off his shoes and ran inside of the house, not wanting to waste any of those 5 minutes I gave him. “Grab your dad’s shoes too!” I called out to Benji who disappeared. While Joe headed over to me, I heard something hit the floor extremely hard and was about to run in to see if Benji fell when he yelled, “I’m okay!” Joe and I both let out a laugh as I turned to him as he was taking off his shoes. After picking up Benji’s, I grabbed Joe’s shoes from him. Joe then leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips.
“Thank you, we’re just having so much fun.” Joe said, wrapping an arm around me to pull me closer to him. “I know. I love watching you guys have fun. And you know what, you are a fucking dilf. Guaranteed, I will have the most handsome and sexy man at the wedding tonight.” I laughed. Joe reached down and squeezed my butt. I let out a little yelp, not expecting it, and slapped his arm while laughing. “Oh yeah? Well you’re going to be the most gorgeous and sexiest woman at the wedding tonight.” Joe said with that smirk on his face.
Just as Joe and I closed the distance between us and were about to kiss, Benji ran between the both of us and back outside so he could continue playing with Joe. Joe and I just looked at each other, wishing we had more time alone. “C’mon, we only have 5 more minutes!” Benji giggled and threw the ball up to himself so he could play catch with himself. “Okay, okay, I’m comin’.” Joe said and placed a kiss on my lips. Before he went over to Benji, he leaned in close to my ear until I could feel his breath on my neck. Shivers ran down my spine and I could feel my cheeks heating up. “We can continue this after he goes to bed tonight.” Joe whispered in my ear.
I sucked in a small breath and smiled like crazy as he backed up from me with that smirk on his face and went to play with Benji. I looked away from Joe and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. The things this man did to me. He really didn’t even need to do anything special to turn me on or make me feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world. He did that with just one look. With one look he could make me weak at the knees and feel so confident and beautiful.
Once I calmed down, I walked inside and washed both of their shoes until they looked brand new. The whole time I was washing them, I looked outside to Benji and Joe who were giggling, laughing, running around, and having an amazing time. I couldn’t stop smiling as the realization of just how perfect our amazing life was. After 10 minutes, I headed back outside.
As soon as I opened up the door, Benji started walking over to me after tossing the ball to Joe. This time he wasn’t as bummed. “Oh come on, 5 more minutes?” Joe begged, throwing the ball from hand to hand and spinning it on his palm like he always does during football games and practices. Once again, Benji just looked at his dad with a shocked expression on his face at the fact that he asked for another 5 minutes.
I bit my lower lip and tried my best to hide my smile and instead look mad at Joe, but I couldn’t. “Please. We’ll be well behaved the whole time and I won’t ask to leave early.” Joe begged. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. “Whether or not I let you have 5 more minutes, you’ll still ask to leave early.” I said with a laugh, knowing Joe always asks to leave early at almost every single event we go to. Hell, he even asked to leave our wedding early so we could have some alone time together and not be surrounded by friends and family.
“I’ll eat all of my veggies. I promise!” Benji added in, trying to get me to give them 5 more minutes. Looking down at how adorable Benji looked, I caved again and was about to walk back inside. “Come and play with us. If you do, I won’t ask for any more time.” Joe said. “Yeah, come play with us! Come play with us!” Benji jumped up and down and ran over to me. I laughed as Benji grabbed onto my hand and tried his best to drag me with him. He let out a few grunts so I walked with him. “Okay, but only if you promise to eat up all of those green veggies and if you, Mr Burrow, act half as well behaved as Benji.” I said. “Yay! Ok, mom, be Ted, and I’ll be Ja’marr. Dad, you already know who you are.” Benji said as Joe tossed me the football he was holding.
Joe and I just looked at each other and laughed at what Benji said about Joe already knowing that he was in fact Joe Burrow in this game. Doing what Benji said, I walked over to Joe who gave me a wink, loving that I got to be his center. I rolled my eyes at him and punched his stomach jokingly. Joe grunted a little bit at the contact, not expecting it, and then smirked down at me. “Y’know, this games going to be more fun with you as my center.” Joe said while I turned around so my back was facing him. I laughed and bent down a little bit.
Then, I felt Joes hands on my butt and turned around to look at Joe. I put a hand over my mouth to try and stop myself from laughing at how this looked. “Well this looks familiar.” I said and started laughing. Just as Joe was about to make a comment about what I said, Benji asked, “what does that mean? Ted’s his center.” Both of our eyes widened a little bit and I looked back over to Benji who looked confused. “We sometimes play this game when you’re at school buddy.” Joe said, coming up with something quickly. I looked back at Joe with a shocked expression and sighed. Even if Benji had no idea what we were talking about, it was still weird hearing him say that to our son.
“Oh, that makes sense I guess. Alright, snap the ball!” Benji said excitedly and got ready to run and catch the pass from Joe. Shaking my head, I bent down a little bit again and once again felt Joe’s hands on my butt, but this time he gave it a little squeeze. Joe clapped his hands and then said, “Set, hut,” before I snapped it to him and he got set up to throw it to Benji. With a smile on his face the entire time, Benji ran to the side and caught the pass from Joe. “Touchdown!” Joe yelled and held up his hands. Just as Benji was about to stop, he slipped a little bit and fell straight towards the concrete patio.
“Ow.” Was all Benji got out as he came in contact with the ground. Both Joe and I started to run to Benji at his reaction, thinking he got hurt and was about to cry, but all he did was stand up and throw the ball at the ground like Joe does when he runs one in. Joe and I laughed before I looked down and noticed the big hole in Benji’s pants from skidding his knee against the concrete. Just as I looked down, Benji looked down at the hole in his pants and his bloody knee and said, “Oopsies.”I let out a little laugh while shaking my head and turned to Joe who was still laughing at Benji’s celebration. “Oh brother,” Was all I said, knowing we were going to be late to the wedding.
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prismatoxic · 11 hours
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you know... this is framed as such a silly moment that i didn't really consider it before but...
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...laios was the only one who respected chilchuck in this scene.
and of course we know why senshi and marcille didn't. senshi still thinks that's child age, as dwarves' age of maturity is 40, a good 20 years older than chilchuck is. and senshi doesn't have the kind of worldly socialization marcille does that lets her understand in any way that chilchuck is an adult (and even then, she sees him as more of a child than she should, because elven age of maturity is 80 and, well. her relationship with time and aging is weird, let's put it that way). she treats him more like a grown man than senshi does, but it's not saying much. (this isn't a diss against either of them, their backstories more than explain why they're like this, and chilchuck doesn't seem to generally hold it against them except when senshi very openly treats him like a kid.)
laios, though. laios is a tall-man. his age of maturity (16) is only 2 years higher than a half-foot's (14). when chilchuck said "this year i turn 29," laios realized chilchuck was his senior and tried to adapt to treating him that way. (in the context of this series being written by a japanese person, this concept holds a lot of extra weight.)
of course, that wasn't actually what chilchuck wanted, and laios resumed treating chilchuck like a peer instead. (remember, chilchuck clearly defines his boundaries, and laios will happily abide by a clearly drawn boundary. a distressed and angry "quit" is taken 100% at face value.) and what's notable about that is that "laios treating chilchuck like a peer" was already valuing him as an adult. even if he didn't know the exact number, laios knew chilchuck was at least around his own age.
i imagine traveling with dandan helped him understand half-foots enough that his blunders when he and chilchuck started working together weren't generally disrespectful in nature. laios would have been able to wrap his mind around "half-foots aren't kids unless they actually say they are" because laios likes clearly defined rules. chilchuck is an adult? okay, he gets treated like one.
and i think it's just as much them both being short-lived races; if he can wrap his head around "height ≠ age" then he also understands whatever age chilchuck is has to be roughly comparable to his own.
and i just think that's neat! i think it's cool how much laios respects chilchuck and there's a sort of irony to the fact that moments like this are, in chilchuck's eyes, more of a nuisance than a sign of respect. but i mean... laios already treats him right. he doesn't need to do anything different.
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dawnbreakersgaze · 2 days
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OK ok... weird suggestion but... what if Zayne likes the thought of PDA, but doesn't show it/do it because once he has his hands on you, he'll either, A.) Get really nervous in public and doesn't want to mess it up for you & himself and as a result of that have ppl judge him, or because of B.) Because he'll take it too far...? 👀
Like I think a lot about that line in Business Trip where after he meets MC at the train station and he's just looking at her, yknow, ogling her, eyeing her up & down, and MC is just like ?!?!?! Why isn't he doing anything?!?!?! But then when he gets home with MC, we all know he's like super touchy n shit and says that line, "What would you have liked me to do in front of all of those people, hmm?"
Like to me, that says he knows he would've LOVED to kiss MC or something, but if he did he probably would've lost control bent her over on the train platform LMAO
Like I know he loves his privacy with MC so he can do anything with her without the eyes of the public judging them, but like after that Tutorial card... it has me thinking he wouldn't mind taking her in public if he could... 👀 hehe
I cannot remember who it was that suggested this (maybe @wolfofcelestia ???) that narrative-wise we're slowly seeing Zayne get more and more comfortable (aka braver) with PDA as his relationship with mc goes on. Because if you compare the brief physical contact in Nostalgic Sweetness when she grabs his chin (and he gets all huffy and flustered with her and grabs her hand away) vs the Tutorial where he's literally scooping her into his arms for a full on make out only to have her push him back down and then he's like "Ah naw you dont" and pulls an Uno Reverse on her and slides between her legs and pins her to the table (where people could walk in)?!?!
Like I genuinely think this is character growth and it looks soooo good on our man. We gotta remember that she is his first relationship EVER so I think a lot of it is what you said with him just not really knowing. Yeah he's private and reserved but also he doesn't know what he's comfortable with because he hasn't experienced it yet. So it stands to reason some of that will change as his experiences do as well. Zayne has some pretty incredible levels of self-control when he chooses to use them (which he can be very bad about), so your idea could also play into it a bit as well. The longer he's with mc the more we see him slipping in terms of letting his guard down. He's becoming softer, more playful, rising to her bait on purpose. He's wilfully engaging in her childish antics far more often now and it's freaking adorable and opening him up to a lot more of these kinds of moments.
But that's just my 1 am opinions 😅
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My biggest problem with Staticmoth is that there's a LOT more evidence for Val being shitty to Vox then there is of Vox being shitty to Val. Like, Val throws shit at Vox, yells at him, breaks his stuff, and out right manipulates him on screen, while the best I can come up with for Vox treating Val poorly is like. The cameras in the club scene, Vox yelling "THIS IS BETTER THAN SEX" in the finale and the fact that I wouldn't put it past him, but those are all flimsy at best and just like, kind of nonsense at worst?(and before anybody brings it up, no Vox is not abusing Val during their interaction before Stayed Gone. He is having a reasonable reaction to somebody he cares about threatening to shoot up a building that literally contains the second most powerful being in Hell, putting both Val's life and their collective image on the line. I go into depth about it in this post if you still aren't convinced)
The camera thing is a weak argument because we don't know enough about Vox's watching habits of Val to really come to a solid conclusion on this, but based off of how Velvette had to alert Vox to Val's tantrum in episode 2, I think it's safe to say Vox isn't constantly watching him. The way the cameras follow Val's movements could also just mean that they. Detect motion. And follow the motion. To make sure they're recording anything that might be important? Which to be fair, we don't know for sure if that's the case, but we ALSO don't know for sure if they're locked onto Val specifically, so either way we're really just making assumptions.
As for "THIS IS BETTER THAN SEX", this may just be my inability to read social cues and asexuality coming through, but I don't really get how yelling "this is better than sex" would be an insult to the entire porn industry? Like, if I saw somebody saying that I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they are insulting the very concept of sex, unless they seemed genuinely unenthusiastic about the thing they were calling better than sex. Also, should be noted that even if Val took offense to the comment(which given his expression in the scene I think he did? And it's also not an entirely unreasonable thing to be a little insulted by), Vox wasn't TRYING to insult him. That comment was not directed at Valentino or his work. This is something that could be worked out with a very simple conversation. Which is more than I can say for how Val was acting before Stayed Gone, but I digress...
I think, of these, the best argument I have in favor of them being mutually toxic is just. I wouldn't put it past Vox. I could see him being a manipulative piece of shit partner, that feels in line with his characterization thus far. Hell, I've compared him to both Spike BtVS and Gideon Graves before, who are, for the record, pretty bad people to enter a relationship with for most of their time in their respective franchises. Like they both get better but still- not good. The thing is though, there just isn't any EVIDENCE that he's actually doing anything to Val! In fact, I'd argue there's more evidence against it, given how Vox seems to be generally detatched from the other Vees work as a whole. Like they advertise and work together, sure, but Vox is never in any of the Love Potion ads, and Vel and Val are never in any of the VoxTek ads. The only advertisements where Vox is with either of them are the ones that are just meant to build hype for the Vees as a collective(the big Vees poster we see in the background & the silly icecreams). Vox doesn't seem to be that controlling of the other Vees. He's also just- really good to Velvette? Like he stays out of her business and the two act genuinely affectionate towards eachother(I've also gone more into depth on this here). And like, as much as I want Poly Vees to be canon, it's not, so we can't use that as a direct point of reference for how he is in romantic relationships(or whatever the fuck he and Val have going on...), but it is still relevant because it's a good example of how Vox treats his equals. So, while it is DEFINITELY not a stretch to assume Vox is a Gideon Graves ass boyfriend, there just. Isn't anything to support it beyond vibes.
*ahem* Anyways yeah. I wanna get behind Staticmoth, I really do. Most of the people that ship it are super chill and the fan content for it is really cute. But I just can't. Because, as of right now, most of the evidence points towards Vox being in an abusive situation with Val. The fact that there is a very high chance of that is troubling to me. I'm down to be proven wrong next season, I love me some good ol' toxic bs that's just fun to watch crash and burn, but for now I'm just kinda. U n c o m f y.
EDIT: Okay, this is another one of those "in the light of day I don't actually agree with everything I said" edits, and this time it's about saying the evidence pointed towards Staticmoth out right abusive at the end. While I do still think that's a possibility, I've been trying not to throw that word around as much, especially in the context of fandom? Abuse is a VERY strong word, and it ends up getting misused a LOT because people are labeling things that just. Aren't abuse as abuse because it's a buzzword. All the evidence really points to is that Val treats Vox worse then Vox treats Val, and while that could very, VERY easily become abuse, we haven't seen enough of their dynamic to be completely sure. Just thought I should make that clear.
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stalgivc · 4 months
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sylhea-raemi · 1 year
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next shiraishi an event is gonna be bout for beside you part 2 with worse trust issues (thanks ken), worse abandonment issues, worse inferiority feeling
#shame on you ken for lying to her saying she's close to being like nagi /lh#sob.... sobbing omg the next event is going to be so good colopale please..... i'll accept whatever just let an be happy#she's such a kind person an extrovert a friendly person ready to help in any way she can#maybe give her more mixed events in the future because how can you have a friendly and outgoing character and NOT let her be friends with#being a shiraishi an and anhane fan war tough these past few days goddamn#i doubt an's gon a get a happy silly mixed event :(#but wedding 2 is so good.... how they addressed an wanting to be a 'mature' person like nagi and shizuku pointing it out...#shizuku is the type of person who may be slow on things like technology- an airhead but not stupid#she can easily spot on something wrong with someone even not knowing them very much (an and mafuyu)#anyway ue..... an i love you so much i love you... to the point where i'd want to see you suffer#i need to see it. she NEEDS to face it either one at a time or came crashing all together#because let's be honest out of vbs an is the one who haven't 'developed' much is a way that#kohane improved so much at her talent and confidence. touya's getting to experience a lot of stuff he couldn't before and expresses himself#better. akito is at least can control himself from destroying his body and thinks of himself less lowly than before (he still have it 😭)#while an... i think just as ken said it was because she haven't face any difficulty growing up. she was advanced compared to other kids and#because of that she's stuck as that for years#'have i become closer to nagi?' the way ken hesitates to answer that question proves it. the way he didn't fully smile proves that an#*didn't* improve. an is stuck#she's already amazing but she's chasing after someone and she's stuck because of it.... i finally got it.. for a long time i've been thinki#about it... an's fear of getting left behind... she kept moving forward just like akito says and she kept trying to keep up with kohane#and the rest of vbs. but unlike them i feel like an is stuck in one place. she kept trying to move forward but so does the others..#if an chasing nagi's back and looking at kohane's back from behind keeps going then an will never move from her spot#raemi talks proseka
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regicidal-optimism · 2 months
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You've been reblogging more stuff about female characters getting ignored by fandoms recently and I would be really curious to hear your full views on the topic.
The thing is that... look. I get it. Many fandoms do not have very many women in their canon, many of those women are treated pretty poorly by the canon or aren't given as much depth as their male peers, and if you're at all picky the pickings are kind of slim (I would love to be a fan of c!Niki, if I were able to watch six-hour vods, which I am not). It is not wrong that most works with large fandoms are really, really sexist, and the problem is not just in the fanbase!
But come the fuck on. It is not an accident that the DSMP and the MCU and BNHA, all of which are vast-majority male and the female characters are treated terribly, are megafandoms, and Revolutionary Girl Utena is eligible for yuletide. It is not wrong that if you want to see more female-character-focused fanwork you should go to Sailor Moon and not The Untamed, but it is also kind of missing the point to say that and not look at the difference in size between those fandoms. People can say "it's because the male characters are so often more interesting and have more meaningful interactions," and like, sometimes that's even true, I will be the first to tell you that quackbur has more to it than tinarose, but please compare the Clint/Coulson tag to the Utena/Anthy tag and look me in the eye and tell me that's the only thing driving the trend. With a straight face.
And even more there's a thing where— so, I was a mod in the @ao3topshipsbracket bracket. And femslash ships, once they were in the bracket, did really well. Like, absurdly well, like 80% of the f/f ships entered got to the top 16, and the last one was against blackbonnet which was never gonna lose in round 1. You might notice something about that number, though, which is that there were only five of them entered total, because people love to vote for femslash but they absolutely will not write it. And they won't say anything about it either! I was watching the activity feed the entire tournament, and I can tell you, for all of the "let's go lesbians" that populated our notes, nobody would say anything that was actually about the specific characters who made up their ship. I learned a lot about Naruto fandom, modding that bracket; I still know nothing about CW Supergirl, because the only thing anyone would say about it is "it has women in it". Because women are interchangeable. Because women are avatars of Being A Good Feminist. Because clicking a button is easy, and actually thinking about any specific woman and her traits and her internality is hard.
The thing is that guilt over misogyny does not actually fix misogyny. It gets you a lot of people who vote for women in polls, and who say "he's like a woman to me" about their male faves but notably don't have any canonically female characters they talk about, and who say that the only thing they care about in a fic is if it has women in it but will not ever actually say anything about any specific woman, and who never shut up about yuri but apparently yuri is everything and anything except women who have feelings about one another.
I'm tired! I'm very tired. I want people to actually give a shit about specific women and their specific traits, which do not begin and end with "woman". And, also, to stop treating women exclusively as the wingmen, advice-givers, mom figures, and accessories of men.
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abbysdruidess · 10 months
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you ever see those tiktoks of ppl making to-go meals for their wives working at hospitals? i wanna do that for abby so badly 🥺 (i've seen some hcs of her being an orthopaedic surgeon and I think thats real af)
thank you for this anon<3 I was kind of in a writers block so this helped s a lot-send me more asks about my babygirl, my delightful wife.
l̳u̳n̳c̳h̳ ̳o̳f̳ ̳c̳h̳a̳m̳p̳i̳o̳n̳s̳ | modern au smut
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wc: 1.3k (my longest!!)
tags: fluff, smut, domesticity, reader gets head for cooking for her wife(not that she wasn't getting it anyway), Abby eats it the whole damn thing on the kitchen counter
a/n: this is in the form of headcanons with a smut drabble in the end-lmk what you guys think<33
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❦ I feel like in a modern au Abs would definitely choose a field that requires a lot of hard work(cause in the game also she overworked herself), so she's either a doctor or a construction worker(;)). I feel like she wouldn't want to choose to be a neurosurgeon like her father, bc as much as she admires his work, she doesn't want to be compared to him and she grew up with it, she wants something different. So her going into orthopaedics seems pretty reasonable.
❦ As for the lunch thing, I could totally see you making her lil lunches<3 She is careful about what she eats cause she wants maintain her muscled appearance, so she doesn't really go for the cafeteria food. Therefore, you make a habit of cooking food for the wife™️ every day. I imagine you getting one of these cute bento boxes and cook her some chicken, rice and salad the night before and set it up all cute<3
❦She'd always love it when you cook her food from your culture/country of origin also🥺because baby loved everything about you and wants to feel closer to you any chance she gets. In my country there's a lot of emphasis on fresh, unprocessed food so I imagine you growing a little garden outside your kitchen with fruits and vegetables, the works.
❦ Don't forget about dessert also-cooking a big tray of something like brownies or a batch of cookies on Sunday nights and put in on her lunch box with a note that goes like "finish your vegetables before you devour dessert!" or "eat lunch first, dear<3" . Bonus points if you kiss the note and get lipstick all over it.
❦ Maybe a coworker of hers notices one day(probably Manny cause he's the only one able to confront her about it) and goes up to her with a shit eating grin while she's eating it like "Damn doc, maybe that wife of yours can cook me up a lunch or too like yours sometime. She forgot to draw a heart on your brownies though." And normally if it was someone else she'd be pretty pissed off, because HOW DARE THEY mock the lunch her amazing, breathtaking wife worked so hard to make. But it's Manny so she knows he's just fucking around. SO Abby's like "Oh shut up Manny. You're just wish you had a girl who wants to make you lunch every day."
❦And truthfully she's extremely grateful for it, it's one of those things that reminds her why she married you, you care for her so much and cooking for her shows you look after her in one of the most vital, intimate ways possible. In the end of the week, once she comes home from work and sees you cleaning dishes in the sink, she walks up to you, leaving her little lunch box on the counter and wraps her big, beefy arms around you, while she whispers in your ear.
"I didn't thank you for lunch this week. I loved the cookies a lot.", and you can feel her breath slightly tickling your ear, the pads of her fingers toying with the hem of your shirt.
"It's alright Abs, I like making you food. You need to stay fit, big girl.", you respond, while you turn around and run your hands down her biceps.
"Hmm, thank you so much for caring about my health babe, or maybe you just like that your wife is packing such heavy guns under her shirt, huh?" she teases. You can't deny though, you love her figure. You can feel her hands on your hips as she tenderly lifts you on the counter, and you sigh happily.
"Yes Abby" you roll your eyes. "I'm soo thankful I have such a strong wife. It is quite beneficial at times.". Your hands ride up her shirt, cupping her firm, silken breasts. She exhales all wobbly, you know how sensitive her breasts are. But you know your little game won't last long.
She doesn't respond, just leans her face into yours so your noses bump and smiles. She quickly makes light work of your shirt, tossing it on the floor and goes for the button in your jeans next, as you help her by raising your hips off the counter. In one flawless motion, she has removed both your jeans and underwear, tossing them off with your shirt. Once the bare skin of your ass makes contact with the marble of the counter you shiver, and Abby brings her girthy palms to rest under your buttocks, warming up the skin there and slightly groping it.
"Lemme thank you for lunch. You are always so good to me. My pretty, little wife". She raises one of her hands and gently runs her pointer finger where your folds part, making you gasp. Your hands reach to her behind and cup her firm ass. "Alright." you whisper into her ear, as your eyes roll in the back of your head.
She then kisses a line from your jaw to your belly button, leaving sloppy, open mouth kisses where the drool from her mouth remains visible on your skin. You could only wish it would imprint on it, immortalising Abby's passionate mouth loving on your body. You shudder as you feel her delicately kissing your pussy, rubbing her tongue on your feminine lips as if she was making out with them. Her tongue teases the sensitive flesh, as the nerves in the most sensitive part of your body are abused by this wonderful, wonderful woman. You let out small, staccato moans, and your hands reach the flesh of your breasts, cupping them and toying with them deliciously. Abby continues the barrage on your cunt, licking up your clit as the room is filled with the sloppy sounds of sopping flesh.
You sit there, helpless but to take it, as you feel the coil inside you tightening up from the lovely tongue of your wife. You suddenly feels as though a band has snapped, and you are overcome with heavenly, internal bliss as your orgasm washes over you like a wave. Abby guides you through it, leaving soft kissing on your cunt and whispering "That's it baby, come like a good girl". Once it stops, you can feel her rising up to kiss you, her tongue rubbing yours in small circles as she lets you taste your salty tang.
"Mmm" you let out a soft giggle. "I'm so grateful I have such a caring attentive wife.", and she makes you gasp as she her fingers come up to your sensitive folds, dipping her hands into your hole and spreading your juices all over your inner thighs. You let out soft moans at the overstimulation but allow her to continue the assault on your cunt nonetheless, as she thumbs you clit gently, watching it twitch in between your legs.
"Damn right you are, baby. Wanna take this to the bedroom?" She leans into you and leaves a kiss on your ear lobe. "I'm not through with you yet." you don't reply just yet, because you know she still wants to have a go at you, and she will no matter what. You grumble a small yes at her as she picks you up bridal style and moves you to the bedroom, kicking your discarded clothes out of her way.
What could she say? Abby lives to please you, and you live to please her. And both of you are thankful for having each other to help whenever, whether that is with lunch and everything the other person needs.
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whoaah, who wrote that🤔anyways, lmk what you guys think of it and ofc send me more asks abt Abby<33
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inbarfink · 7 months
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I mean, I (and others) did predict Fionna coming to the realization that ‘Simon being Ice King again is very very bad actually’ via watching IK’s old tapes - in a thematic reversal of Holly Jolly Secrets…. You know, Finn learned to like Ice King more after learning about Simon Petrikov and who he used to be, Fionna learned to like Simon Petrikov more after really learning about Ice King and who he used to be. 
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But the thing that really stuck with me about how the show pulled it off is how… tame that video was. Compared to what the audience knows about how terrible Ice King could get. 
Most of the video Fionna saw was Ice King goofing off, with just the last clip giving her a tiny little taste of how prone he was to fits of anger and extreme misery
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She didn’t get to see the videos of Ice King crying for literal hours on end, she didn’t get to see him throw tantrums that make him a legitimate danger for those around him, I don’t think she actually knows he used to kidnap and stalk women on a regular basis - but that’s okay, because she didn’t need to. That tiny little taste of Ice King’s misery and pain was really all she actually needed.
Because it really speaks to how little she actually understood of the Ice King’s situation before. How much seeing that one little clip of him back in “Prismo the Wishmaster'' gave her such a totally wrong impression of what Ice King was like
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that just seeing him yell at Gunter and cry once is enough to make her totally reexamine all of her preconceived notions about him.
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And it really speaks how despite her sometimes-childish attitude, Fionna really possesses a lot of emotional intelligence. Both in how quickly she correctly gauged that Ice King’s behavior in the last clip was a regular thing for him and probably not even his worst moment and that his anger was yet another expression of his being 'super-sad'
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And how clearly her Second Thoughts about the Crown Plan didn’t start when she saw Ice King yell - they started when she saw how despite working so hard on getting himself Cursed again, Simon still couldn’t bear the idea of watching videos of Ice King’s ‘Good Times’.
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Because as much as it was important for Fionna to really know Ice King in order to fathom just how terrible the Crown Plan was, it was also equally important for her to really know Simon as well.
When she was so dismissive toward Simon’s plight in the Prismo episode, and when she so eagerly and thoughtlessly jumped on the Crown Plan - she really knew nothing about either facets of his identity. She only got such a quick clip of Ice King actually in a good mood, and all she’s seen of Simon was him at his lowest point - rude, dismissive, screaming at her face, literally considering letting her whole world burn in his own depressive spiral. 
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It’s only after they reached Farmworld and officially started to work towards the Crown Plan that Fionna really started to know who Simon Petrikov is when he’s not at rock bottom. That’s when she learned how intelligent
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And dorky
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And kind
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And comforting 
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And fatherly 
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And a silly little hopeless romantic for his GF
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he is. 
And they became real friends and she really grew fond of all of these things about him. So now, watching clips of Ice King… it takes her some time to process it, clearly, but it also bothers her how little of these traits that she likes about her friend and he likes about himself she can see in the crazy old Ice Wizard.
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Seeing also how mad and sad he could be was just what clinched the deal for her, the last excuse she could find for why it was okay (“Maybe he really was happier like that?”) gone.
And that also relates to her more general anxieties about the Crown Plan from farther in the same episode.
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Now that she’s seen how much being infused Magic changed Simon… It's no wonder she’s so worried about how Magic will change her and Cake and all of her loved ones.
And it’s not a totally unfounded fear. We’re still not exactly sure how bringing Magic back into Simon’s brain will affect Fionnaworld - but it will most likely work the same as it did the other way around? When Fionnaworld first lost its magic? So that will mean not only the people and the world will change physically, but their memories and minds will also be altered as if they always lived in the Magical World and never in the Mundane world Fionna remembers.
And that will kinda make them into different people. Gary Prince and Prince Gumball feel like the most obvious comparison. One is a literal god-king who seems to have at least a bit of the old Bubblegum Hubris problem
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The other is just a humble little put-on Barista trying to make it big
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Becoming Prince Gumball again would be in some way the ultimate fulfilment of Gary's dream - not just a Pastry Mansion but a whole Candy Kingdom! But... it would also mean giving up on all of the memories and experiences of ever having been Gary Prince. And... it's at least worth considering if it's worth it.
We know that Change doesn't have to be all bad, Cake the Cat will testify to that
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I'm sure that from her perspective, having every bit of her memories wiped and replaced is worth it if she can keep her mind and ability to speak.
But Fionna's little Storytime with Simon, I think, really gave Fionna a look to how much his reminiscing is important to him
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and really gave her a glimpse to how much people's history and memories effect who they are, and seeing this and seeing what ‘turning into a different and more magical person without your original memories’ did to Simon Petrikov
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It’s really no wonder it makes Fionna worried.
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sxxythingz · 1 year
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Something to Prove
Lo’ak Sully (21) x human female reader (22)
Taglist: @pandorxxx my girl once again helped me make sure that this came out perfect and just ahhhh!! I couldn’t be more thankful to her 😭💖
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Warnings: smut, cursing, squirting, aged up characters, creampie, choking, p in v
Summary: You and Lo’ak have a close “friendship”, always spending lots of time with each other. One day while in your hut that you had built for you close to the lab, he peaks into your bag finding something that he wasn’t meant to find which triggers an experimental side of him.
WC: 2.6K
🛑MDNI🛑
You were one of the scientists working alongside the government who was lucky enough to get picked to travel to Pandora. The experience has been amazing, you never knew another planet could hold such beautiful scenery, far more amazing than earth. You’ve been on Pandora for almost a year and in your time here, you’ve managed to accumulate friendships with the omatikayan people, but there’s been one person that you have managed to create more than just a friendship with.
“Come on Lo’ak, no more silly faces, this is the last picture that I’m going to take.” You extend your arm out for the last time, holding your phone horizontally as Lo’ak sits beside you giving a toothless smile for you guys’ final picture. “That’s better.” You say as you look back at all of the photos that you guys have taken together in the last hour. “How do you even work one of those things? What is it made for?” He asks you as his eyes stay plastered to the screen, trying to figure out how you manage to work it so fast.
“It’s kind of similar to the throat microphone that you guys use, but not really. We can call each other on it, listen to music, play games, text, take pictures like we just did, and record videos.” He nods his head as he carefully listens to you describe how to use a phone. “Can I hold it?” He asks you as he holds his large hand out and you place it in his hand as your answer. “It’s so small in my hand compared to yours.” He says as he inspects the phone, turning it around to see the backside. “That’s what she said.” You smirk, letting a small chuckle out at your joke. “That’s definitely not what you say to me.” He smirks back at you and you roll your eyes at his remark, knowing exactly what he’s referring to.
You and Lo’ak started out as friends, you could even go as far as saying that you became so close so fast that you considered him your best friend at the start of all this. Over these past few months, things changed quickly as your attraction for each other grew like wildfire. Your relationship wasn’t an actual relationship, but it wasn’t a friendship either. Lo’ak didn’t know the term for it, but you did. Your friend with benefits is what you considered him to be. He has been begging to become more than that every since you guys’ first time, he knew right then that he didn’t want anyone else having the experiences that he has with you, but you never accepted his offer knowing that one day you would have to leave Pandora and it would just hurt both of you in the end.
“Shut up! You are so cocky and I can’t stand it.” You laugh, lying flat out on your bed that you have near the lab. “That’s one thing that you love about me and you know it.” He responds back and you shake your head as a response. “Do you mind putting my phone on the charger over there? It’s about to die and I suddenly caught a cramp in my leg, I don’t think I can make it over there.” You whimper jokingly, lying to get him to do it for you, simply because you’re feeling lazy and you know he’ll do whatever you ask him to. “Cramp my ass. You just don’t feel like moving, Y/n. You are so lazy.” He chuckles before standing up to walk over to the table and put your phone on charge for you. You stare at the ceiling of your cot, waiting for Lo’ak to come sit back down beside you before you realize he’s been standing in that one spot for too long which makes you jot your eyes up to see what he’s up to. “What’s taking you so long, asshole?” You ask as you sit up and watch him slowly turn around to face you with something in his hand.
“What the fuck is this?” He asks you, a pair of thongs dangling from his long slender fingers. Your eyes widen in embarrassment “Oh my gosh! Lo’ak, put those down!” You yell out as you quickly run over to him and snatch them out of his hand, placing them back into your bag quickly. “Those are a type of panties called thongs. And why were you even snooping through my bag?” You hit him in his chest as you watch a devious smile spread on his face. “How come I’ve never seen you in these, huh? That’s not fair, I want to see them on you now.” He demands as he crosses his arms over his chest, staring down at you. “What? No, I am not putting those on just for your amusement, sir!” You say as you walk back to your bed. “Oh come on. I’ve never seen them before and I bet you look fucking amazing with these on. Just this one time please.” He begs with puppy dog eyes, and you give a low sigh. “You’re not going to stop until I put them on are you?” You ask and he smirks while he shakes his head.
You roll your eyes and stand back up, reaching underneath your dress to slip your panties off, but making sure that it doesn't rise up enough for him to see anything. Your panties fall to your feet and you kick them to the side, slipping the thong on and looking back to Lo’ak. “Happy now?” You ask him as you watch him come closer. “Turn around.” He demands as he twirls his finger in circles with his words. You turn around to face your bed and you feel his strong hands land on the bottom of your thighs, slowly moving upwards as he lifts the dress up with his every movement. His hands completely lift the bottom of your dress up, revealing the thong and you hear him groan behind you. “Your ass already looks great with nothing on, but this just made it 10x better.” You feel his hands firmly grip your ass, a moan leaving your lips already. “Take this off.” He says, speaking more so to himself as he takes your dress off the rest of the way, throwing it on the ground next to your panties.
“Wait. I’ve got an idea.” He says as you feel his hands completely leave your body and you watch him walk over to your phone, taking it off of the charger. “What are you doing?” You ask him as he walks back over to you, flipping you back around to face the bed. He puts your passcode in and finds the camera app, looking for the record button. “Bend over.” He commands as he places his hand in the middle of your back and pushes you into the bed so your ass is facing up. He presses the record button, pulling you back with one hand by your waist so you are pressed against his pelvis. You grind yourself against his hard dick that strains against his loincloth as he groans, knowing that if you keep this up he won’t be able to contain himself any longer.
“You love to fucking tease me, don’t you?” He chuckles, sending a hard smack to your plush ass. You hum in satisfaction, smirking at the situation you had just put yourself in, knowing that he hates being teased and played with. “Maybe I do.” You giggle at the thought of messing with him. “Keep on, baby. I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk straight if you don’t stop right now.” He threatens you with a good time as he gives you a hard smack to your ass again, making you flinch. You pull your ass back up and throw it back hard as you hear him moan loudly, sharply inhaling after.
“That’s it.” He growls, stopping the recording and tossing the phone on the bed, quickly pulling his loincloth off of him and letting it fall on the ground. “I want to fuck you with your thong still on.” He says as he slides them to the side, needing no lubrication as you’re already soaking wet just from teasing him. “No foreplay today, yawne. I need to be inside of you right now.” He slides his pulsating dick up and down your wet folds before he slams into you, making you scream out in a mix of pain and pleasure.
His strokes are already fast and hard, holding you by your waist as he continuously slams into your cervix. “Lo’ak… I can’t t-take it.” You stutter out, not being able to speak properly from his hard thrusts. You reach your hand behind you, placing it on his torso in a weak attempt to slow him down, but he grips your arm in his warm hand and holds it there. “Yes you can, baby. You can take my dick. don’t push me away, you know it won’t work.” He moans, watching your ass ripple again this pelvis. He picks the phone back up, once again pressing record to catch you in your weakest moment. Weak under his touch, him not even giving you one minute to catch your breath while he fucks you senseless. “Fuck Lo… I-I’m going to c-cum.” you moan out as your eyes begin rolling to the back of your head so hard that you’re afraid they might get stuck there.
You feel him abruptly stop all movement and pull himself out of you with a popping noise, causing you to groan in frustration and look back at him. “No you’re not. You’re not cumming until I fucking tell you to.” He demands. He stops recording and picks you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist. He walks over to your table and knocks everything off of it in one swipe before placing you on it. “You don’t need these anymore, baby. I want to watch this dick slide in and out of this pretty pussy until you fucking cum.” He whispers In your ear before leaving a small peck. Your pussy grips onto nothing as you moan at his words. You lift your hips up and he immediately grabbed the thong, sliding it down your legs slowly as he maintained sensual eye contact with you. Without a second to spare, he grabs his cock, sliding back into you nice and slow, throwing his head back and moaning as he bottoms out. “I love the way you wrap around me like this pussy was made just for me, and me only.” He pants out as he picks his pace back up to go just as fast as he did when he had you bent over the bed.
“It’s yours baby. It was made just for you and I only want to feel you inside me. N-No one-fuck!- no one else.” You whimper, and he smirks before shooting his hand up to your neck, placing a firm hold on it and bringing you forward to kiss him. The kiss is hungry, as if you guys had been starved of each other for weeks. You automatically open your mouth for him to slip his tongue inside, making you moan into the kiss. He breaks the kiss before bringing the phone back up, this time it’s directly in your face. “Is this what you wanted? Hm? You tease me so you can be fucked like the little slut that you are.” His thumb brushes over your soft lips, signaling for you to open your mouth, sucking on the digit.
“Fuck… you should see your pretty ass on camera. Such a little slut for me.” He chuckles. Your eyes roll as you feel your body coming close to the edge once again. “You’re my slut and no one else’s, got it? Say it. Say that shit right fucking now.” He slams himself harder into you as he takes his finger out of your mouth and you scream out. “Fuck! I’m your slut Lo’ak. I’m your slut and no one else’s.” you yell as your eyes flutter shut. “Mmm. Good girl. I love how needy you are for me.” He growls as he stops recording and throws the phone across the cot, onto your bed as he feels himself coming closer.
You feel the heat in the pit of your stomach bubbling as you arch your back, pushing your chest into Lo’ak’s. “Lo’ak… Can I cum now, please?” You beg as you feel yourself pulsating around him and he moans at the feeling. “Cum for me baby. Cum all over this dick so I can watch you go crazy on me.” He says as he takes his thumb and rubs circles on your clit, sending you into a frenzy. “Ahh fuck!” You moan as your eyes roll once again, your body stiffening as you squirt with each thrust, squelching sounds filling the room. “Shit.” He pants out as he rams his hips into you one last time, staying there as you feel him cumming deep inside of you.
You heavily pant as you look into each other's eyes, laughing at how exhausted both of you are. “You just squirted for the first time and I didn’t get to record that part.” He says, making you look down to see the mess you made. His lower abdomen is soaked, so are your thighs, and the ground underneath you. “I had no doubt that I would.” He brags, glancing down at the mess again before meeting your eyes. You feel your cheeks heat up from the embarrassment as you cover your face laughing. You can’t believe you just gave him the satisfaction of bragging about this, knowing that he’s never going to let it go. “Shut up!” You giggle as you push him in his chest before he grabs your face and kisses you again. He slowly pulls out of you, going in your bag and grabbing the wipes that you keep handy.
He wipes himself off, then he wipes you down before handing you your dress to slip back on while he puts his loincloth back on. “If you tell anybody what I just did you are so dead.” You tell him and he gives you that cocky smile that gives away the fact that he’s going to tell any and everybody who will listen. “You’ll just have to kill me baby because I’m definitely telling it.” He jokes and you roll your eyes before laughing. “skxawng. You are lucky that you’re cute.” You tell him as you stand up to face him, even though he towers over your small frame. “You might as well just date me. Please, I know you want to. You even said it yourself. I’m cute, I make you laugh. And let’s not forget….I give you the best dick of your life.” He smirks, convincing you now more than ever. You let out a sigh as you shake your head with a smile before looking back up at him.
“I mean…why not Sully?” His ears perk up at your response as you watch a bright smile light his face up. “See? You played hard to get but I knew you wanted me this entire time.” He says confidently as you both lay down on the bed together. “Oh whatever! You wish.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. He pulls you closer to him and cuddles you, staring into your eyes. “No need for wishing, I’ve got you right where I want you baby.” He says before planting another kiss on your lips. “You are such an asshole.” You laugh as you nuzzle your head into his chest, your eyes heavy as you slowly begin to drift off to sleep.
A/N: So first of all, thank you guys so much for liking my first story, I didn’t expect all the love and it makes me so happy!! 😭💕 I hope you love this one as well and let me know what you think. Also, if anyone has an request for stories that they would like for me to create, just let me know and I would be more than happy to do it! Enjoy you guys 🥰
(P.S. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how fine Lo’ak looks in this picture because what 🥹😭)
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hobiebrownismygod · 7 months
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Why Spiderman-India/Pavitr Prabhakar is one of the best examples of Indian representation I've seen in a long time
Mumbattan
Lets talk about Earth-50101, Mumbattan, Pavitr's home dimension. Mumbattan is displayed as a beautiful, colorful dimension with lots of traffic, lots of people, and lots of culture. When we see Gwen, Miles and Pav swinging through Mumbattan, we see people wearing saris, people driving scootys, Indian-style billboards and even temples in the surroundings. This is an extremely accurate depiction of large Indian cities.
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Mumbattan on the left, Mumbai on the right
See how similar these look?
Now compare this to how Hollywood's Slumdog Millionaire movie depicts India.
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Every single movie depicting India made by Hollywood portrays India as a country full of slums and dirty people. I have never seen Hollywood portray India as the beautiful, culture-filled country it is, and I have never seen one of the many beautiful temples, or the advanced cities represented in western media until now. Slumdog Millionaire is a fantastic movie, but India isn't only made up of slums.
Hollywood tends to romanticize struggle and when depicting India, makes it seem like a very depressing country. Yes, there are slums in India. Yes, there are people struggling in India. But that doesn't mean that India isn't beautiful. It doesn't mean India is behind. Mumbattan is the first depiction of India I've seen that I feel portrays the beauty and culture of India well. It is a fantastic representation.
2. Pavitr's personality
One of the most recent and most popular Indian representation series right now is the show, Never Have I Ever. In my opinion, this show is terrible. The main character, Devi Vishwakumar, is the stereotype of all stereotypes and doesn't accurately portray most Desi girls. She is rude, selfish, and extremely narcissistic. Her entire personality is being Indian and I find that extremely hard to watch. They make fun of her by addressing stereotypes like an excess of body hair, fashion, and even accents but instead of shutting down these stereotypes, they amplified them by making fun of them.
In western media, Indians are either portrayed as IT workers, scammers, grocery store owners, or nerdy, try-hard teenagers. Every show with an Indian teenager in it portrays them as cheap, unhygienic or unattractive which I, as an Indian, find extremely offensive.
Pavitr is portrayed as an optimistic Indian teenager who's smart and strong, without bragging about it, proud of being Indian without making it his whole personality and genuinely funny. He isn't portrayed as some skinny, nerdy guy with glasses. In fact, he's literally shown flexing his muscles, and performing well in class without going overboard about it. He's so full of culture, I can't even begin to explain it because I'll never stop. His suit, his mask, his webs, the way he moves, the way he fights, its all beautiful and I could watch for days on end without getting bored.
We were finally served an attractive, funny Indian character who isn't a walking stereotype, who loves and embraces his culture and just seems like an awesome guy to be around. Seeing him on screen made me feel so proud, of my religion and my culture. I hope Hollywood takes notes on this and continues providing the media with proper Indian representation and strong Indian role models for characters!
This article explains everything I said a little better, because I know my writing style can be confusing sometimes. It really goes into depth on how impactful it is on Indians to see this kind of representation for the first time in western media and how important this is.
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He's so pretty <3 I'm so proud that I look like him
Might go even more in-depth eventually, I just really wanted to get this off my chest because I love him so much 😭
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punkpandapatrixk · 8 months
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🥀Sad Bitch Lilith ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
We live in a world where being too kind, too sweet, too compassionate and forgiving could often lead to disastrous outcomes. This is after all a world where narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths run free without much repercussion. A sweet girl can’t be pleasant all the time; a goddess needs to carry a machete from time to time.
What most people have yet to grasp, is that Venus and Lilith quite literally make each side of the Divine Femininity coin. Venus represents Light and Lilith represents Dark; even then, they could easily switch roles depending on the situation at hand. Only if you want—you are allowed to embody both Venus and Lilith in their respective glory.
Do you really want to become that kind of idiot who sends love and light to those who have done you much harm? You don’t have to force yourself to be the bigger person in a conflict that was created for the sole purpose of stripping you of power and autonomy. Enablers and gaslighters enforce that kind of idea so you make room for their terrible behaviour. WAKE. UP.
So many women in this world have at some point been a Sad Bitch Lilith at the hands of psychopaths, sociopaths and narcs in whatever role they play in their lives. Hopefully this reading serves to help you turn the narrative into SAVAGE LILITH. The Dark Moon Goddess who delights in revenge for she knows in it lies EDUCATION for the imbeciles who have foolishly disrespected her kind, sweet, friendly, feminine qualities. The Dark Feminine retorts,
‘RESPECT ME OR GET DESTROYED.’
Black Moon Lilith is a Goddess of Redemption. She takes into her own hands matters of delivering nightmare to those who have wronged her. She calculates in the dark. She doesn’t ask for permission. She's a wild woman. She punishes swiftly. She moves history.
She is Karma.
Karma paid in revenge glow up, BITCH🌹
SONG: I’ll Make You Cry by aespa
MOVIE: Gone Girl (2014)
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]
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Pile 1 – When My Tears Silently Turn to Diamonds
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the way your beauty irritates people – 10 of Pentacles Rx
VIBE: I’m Unhappy by aespa
You’re somebody who’s perceived as abundant and superfluous by others. It’s super obvious from the way you look, the way you carry yourself, or even your family background. You just… exude a rich vibe—whether or not you actually come from old money. Damn, you just have it in you. It’s something you were born with. Even if you didn’t come from a rich background, or even if right now, for some reason you’re struggling with resources, no, honey, listen: it’s your fucking AURA.
People can see either you’re blessed since birth—with money, beauty, talents, whatever—or they simply can smell that you’re gonna make it big someday. Most people you’ve known in your environment, do not like this about you at all. It’s their own fault though, why in the name of fuck are they always comparing themselves to you? Did you ask for that? Never. But they’re always imagining how nice it would be in your shoes without knowing for realz your life story.
They project their insecurities at you even when you’ve never wanted to make anybody feel that way because of your presence. In many ways, I think you’ve tried so hard to make you look ordinary, or in some cases, you’ve tried to show a lot of care and generosity. You’ve tried to make everybody see that you’re just like them even if your circumstances are not exactly the same. It never worked though—maybe it’s even backfired.
Your abundance… is simply irritating to them because you’re surrounded by motherfucking losers, babe.
silencing the negative self-talk – XIX The Sun
VIBE: ASAP by NewJeans
You should be done feeling bad for being radiant. It’s not your fault other people are ugly. It’s not your responsibility that other people don’t have money. How are you at fault when a good company chooses you for the talents and skills you’ve developed which they need? Seriously, it’s none of your business if others wouldn’t work on themselves to be considered an amazing creature in society. You keep being you, honey. You and I know you’re always refining your natural talents and deepening your base knowledge. You’re truly a hustler even if others don’t see that.
When you’re not saddened or confused by others’ terrible attitude towards your blessings, your mindset is really positive like the Sun itself. Of all the Piles, I think your heart is the purest🤣You’re more generous than people give you credit for. You’re always trying to make everyone feel welcomed. If you were a party host, you’d make sure every single person has a good time in ways that suit them. You’re that attentive.
Unfortunately, your Light, indeed babe, seems to attract a lot of harmful bugs. No matter how much you give, it’ll never be enough and nothing you do will stop the gossip and badmouthing and backstabbing. Because essentially, these bottom-feeders are already bitter about their own pathetic lives. They hate you as much as they hate themselves for not having the courage to feel deserving of the abundance you’ve worked hard for.
S A V A G E – 4 of Wands
VIBE: Hurt by NewJeans
‘Leave them at the bottom of the grave they dug for you.’ – something I saw on Pinterest
Because you’re too kind, too giving, I think you’re the type of person who wouldn’t have the heart to leave people behind where they are miserable. Umm… you need to grow up a little bit more and finally see for yourself how pointless that is. You’re just one person, what makes you think you could save everybody? I hope you don’t yourself turn into a megalomania who thinks others wouldn’t survive without your charity.
Leave that toxic environment and you will regenerate yourself. As you do so, you become a vibrational match to some kind of a Soul Tribe situation where you’ll be met with people who aren’t the least bit parasitic. You’ve got to believe you’re deserving of a symbiosis mutualistic kind of relationships and friendships for them to manifest, OK?
As for the anklebiters? Hurt them with your leaving them. Hurt them with your totally ignoring and blocking them. I’m not saying you have to throw a brick at them for all the disrespect they’ve dealt on you. I’m sure your change of attitude will hurt the living shit out of them. And one day, when you’re famous and important, they’ll see you, alright. They’ll see you for all that you’ve always been capable of doing and they’ll regret they didn’t treat you better. And they’ll wallow in immense pain for not having access to you anymore. Nevermore. Leave them hurting in their shame and regrets. That’ll kill them😈
SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻💙
VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Gold Physician (Herodotus)
Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Prosperity
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Pile 2 – You See This Glow-Up? NOW You Jelly
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the way your beauty irritates people – Knight of Wands Rx
VIBE: 28 Reasons by Seulgi
First and foremost, you’re a damn rare beauty. I don’t care if you don’t think that highly of your physical appearance; bitch, you’re goddamn attractive. Take it or leave it. Your problem is that you act like you’re ordinary and that irritates the living shit out of your enemies because they think you’re fake. ‘How dare you act ordinary when you’re obviously that pretty. Are you mocking us??’ Yeah… Why the fuck are you surrounded by ordinary beauties? Have you got Venus squaring Pluto? Huehue~
Anyway, in any situation you’re an eye candy and everybody can see that. Maybe you’re dense enough to not see how others see you, but all these friends of yours, they’re hyper aware of how all eyes are on you the moment you slightly move. You stir the air in a way no other human does. It’s because there’s passion and authenticity in you that make you vibrate on a much higher level than most people. Really, you’re a rare gem but this could get you in danger a lot.
You’re the type of beauty that invites enemies actually because of your friendly disposition. Like, there’s this annoying gap that irritates people in ways even they don’t really understand. The gap between your intense beauty/attraction and your general politeness. You’re soft spoken, cheerful and helpful. For the most part, you’re a ball of joy and if you’re a girl, boys like you A LOT. You’re fun. You’re cool. You’re smart and creative. A lot funnier than people assume. You’re the IT GIRL. But the envious ones call you a pick-me LMAO
Envious girls put a lot of effort into brandishing you as a trashy character but by doing that, even the boys could see who’s the real G here. And well, wouldn’t that annoy their trashy asses further?🤷🏻‍♀️They’re literally ruining their own image by trying to ruin you🤡
silencing the negative self-talk – 8 of Wands Rx
VIBE: Forgive Me by BoA
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s have a heart-to-heart. Honey, you’ve got to stop pretending like you’re a sweet Venus all the time. You’re not. You and I know that. Deep down, there’s an evil bitch in you that wants to play with fire. I think you’ve tried to curb your Lilith practically your entire Life. Perhaps on a subconscious level you know this of you and you want to avert your eyes from looking at your Lilith. That’s how you seem fake sometimes.
Highly intuitive people can smell the Devil in you, but you act like you’re an angel all the time. And that’s annoying because your Lilith is literally a men-magnet and this often takes away attention from other girls but you act all innocent💩I’m not saying it’s your fault—I sense that for the most part, you don’t even consciously want this intense attention; I’m saying there’s this mechanism about how you’re perceived by your environment.
Aaand why do you think that is? Of course, because subconsciously, you want all of this attention. You always want to be wanted and liked and desired. You crave that shit so bad because when you were tinier you felt unseen. Un-understood. Unappreciated. Now, doesn’t matter who or how, you just want everybody to see you and want you, but you’re not gonna give them back any of that attention. You want to be unattainable. Actually, you are unattainable. You don’t easily let people get close to you. You don’t want people in your personal space. You just want the a t t e n t i o n.
S A V A G E – 5 of Wands Rx
VIBE: Savage by aespa
You know, this is all just a lil game to you. Deep down, you’re fighting this urge to snatch everybody’s boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes you get frightened by your evil desires because if you were unhinged, you’d want all these married people to want you more than they want their spouses. It’s not even that serious. You just want to come on top of everybody. You’re secretly envious of these little bitches who are—probably—loved by their spouses. And even when you can see there’s no Love in that connection, you’re still jealous that someone wants to commit themselves to these undeserving mediocre asses.
You feel all alone in this world. People are only nice to you because of your looks or whatever else that’s not even that important. And people are also nasty to you because of your looks and everything else that’s not even that important. It’s been one insanely difficult Life for you. You’re sad. You feel abandoned and unwanted in spite of all the shallow praises. And there’s this quiet rage inside that wants to punish everyone for not caring about the REAL you.
Bitch, grow up a little bit and you’ll see that low-quality people get married to their fellow mediocre asses. You don’t play in the same dimension as them so don’t lower your standards🤭One day you’ll see who’s gonna end up divorced and miserable because they all married the wrong people! Nah, that’s not even the important part LMAO The important part is when you’re the one marrying a Soul Mate after all of your spiritual and psychological glow-up that made you a vibrational match to so much REAL LOVE and you’re surrounded by all this money and beauty.
You never needed their kind of a glow-up; you were born perfection. You needed a different kind of confidence to SLAY and be very happy.
SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻❤️
VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)
Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Happiness
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Pile 3 – You Thought I’d Give It All to You
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the way your beauty irritates people – 2 of Cups
VIBE: The Weekend by BIBI
You’re this absolutely weird mix of devil and angel in one body. You attract ALL kinds of people. Young, old. Men, women. Animals and toddlers are either terrified by you or LOVE you to oblivion. People always want something from you, right? They either simp for you or act like you owe them something—usually when their simping doesn’t pay off LMAO That’s really weird… Your entire existence is weird. I like that😉
You’re definitely giving, charitable, although in reality you’re really selective with whom you allow in your personal space. ‘Just because I’m friendly with you doesn’t mean I wanna be friends with you,’ kind of vibe. Nevertheless, people are silly, and they cultivate this weird intense desire within them. They build all these unnatural expectations around you having to give or share with them.
In their sick minds, they demand this. When you don’t humour them their sick demands, they get ULTRA bitter, probably even resentful. And then they seek to destroy you. Weird. Weird. Weird. You never even intended to lead them on. People are crazy when you’re around. The worst part is, they never even had your best interest at heart. They just wanted something from you—energy, attention, favouritism, gentle caress, who the hell cares.
How much Neptunian/Pisces/12th House energy do you have for you to be this way?😷HAHAH
silencing the negative self-talk – Page of Pentacles
VIBE: KAZINO by BIBI
Unlike the other Piles, you don’t seem to have a lot of neg self-talk. You’re sassy, bitchy, and you embrace your negative qualities because you see the value in them. Society ain’t perfect either anyway, what’s so wrong in being me the way that I am? You go, girlie~ You’re a total believer in revenge and vengeance. You ARE the definition of Lilith incarnate. Were you born with it? Did you develop yourself to be this way? Who the fuck knows—that’s your very own secret ingredient~
You’d rather let the mortals hurt and rot in their own stupidity than let yourself be the one to hurt. Unless you’re defending those you care about, you’re never sustaining hurt. You hurl lemons at all your enemies before they could get closer. Any step closer, you squirt that lemon in their eyes. Their fault. You warned them already! ‘Hey, I’m nice but I ain’t no saint,’ is your philosophy.
And when you’re really, really, really done with someone’s bullshit, you ain’t afraid to spill some blood. You’re gonna be smart about it though. You plan quietly and attack unexpectedly with a demonic angel smile on your face. ‘Send a message to your god; you’ve messed with the wrong bitch, BITCH.’
You are a menace to society👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
S A V A G E – XII The Hanged Man Rx
VIBE: Vengeance by BIBI
See, you are one sneaky bitch. Though you are a fucking menace to society, you know how to act righteous. You also know how to act like the victim should the occasion arise—but this is rare because you like to appear on top of everyone. Still, you’re quite masterful at creating sad or horrendous backstories that would justify your wreaking havoc upon your enemies, or even just society at large. Your sense of morality is kinda shrewd LMAO And I think that’s because you’ve been at the mercy of someone else’s shrewd behaviour before, probably when you were a lot younger.
That made you realise you never wanted to be the victim anymore. If anything, you’ll terrorise everyone so you maintain your own safety. WHEW. You’ve got your trust broken in authority. Their rules didn’t protect you or even hurt you. So, you believe new rules should be made in their place. You make your own rules and you don’t care if that hurts some people. You have this dicktionary explaining what kinds of dickhead are worth sacrificing to your new-world agenda.
🤣🤣🤣You’re CRAZY!
I believe in you. I think you could change the world. But I think you’re largely only interested in your own world. The whole world? That’s too much trouble. You aren’t keen on destroying your small queendom/kingdom in exchange for world domination—you smart like that. Keep at that. WHOA.
SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻🧡
VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Green Magus (John Dee)
Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Divination
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893 notes · View notes
anashins · 20 days
Note
So this just happened to me but I found out my bf doesn’t have my contacts saved with any kind of emoji or cute nickname. Maybe a suggestion for a Drabble? Feel like a child writing this but idk how this has me so bummed and sad
Pairing: Jaehyun x You
Genre: fluff, romance
Word Count: 1.1k
Summary: As you find out that Jaehyun doesn't have your contact saved on his phone under a cute nick name, you start comparing your relationship to others. After all, that must mean you're not special to him - right?
A/N: I hope everything went well for you, dear! My bf always says, “I don’t know, you have to tell me!” - so just tell him! Because men are simple but their partners' feelings matter to them, even if they seem childish to you 💞
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“Under which name did your boyfriend save you on his phone? You know that?”
You looked at your best friend who tilted her head as though in deep thoughts. For a moment, you hoped she wouldn’t know, wouldn’t care, and that you were overdramatic after all like you had feared all along, but almost instantly, she replied,
“When we started dating, he had me saved as ‘my girl’ without any kind of emoji. When we officially decided to get together, he saved my contact as ‘baby’ with a pink heart, and it remained like this until now.”
Your best friend wasn’t the first one who you had asked and whose answer was almost identical to your other taken friends you had questioned about this topic: Their boyfriends all had them saved on their phones with either a cute nickname, some meaningful emoji or both.
Your own boyfriend had you saved on his phone under your government name. 
You usually never looked at his screen as there were always so many things going on with different people from his group, from his management and from people in the industry in general, so it was always buzzing anyway. 
But when a week ago you had been lying next to him, sending him pictures from the activity you had done together shortly before, your name popped up in his chat history.
Your full name.
You had been bummed, and he had happily continued on as if he hadn’t minded you seeing this, as if this was the most normal thing in the world and didn’t make you feel less special among all his other contacts - and there were a lot for an idol.
After all, even when you didn’t have as many connections as him, you had your boyfriend saved as,
‘Yuno-ya’ with a pink heart.
It wasn’t the most romantic nickname as you weren’t calling each other pet names at all, but still cute and emphasized his contact to filter his name out of all other people.
Now, hearing all the other boyfriends having your female friends saved as something special, it made you feel even sadder as if the entire thing hadn’t been bothering you for a week already. 
“Under which name has your boyfriend your contact saved on his phone?” your best friend questioned back.
You sighed out loud.
-
“I don’t like it when you make that face,” Jaehyun immediately said to you instead of a greeting when you came over to his house later that day. “And you have randomly started making it the last time we met. I’ve been worrying all week, but on the phone you always say everything is fine when it’s clearly not. Tell me now, did I do something wrong?”
You bit into your bottom lip. You felt that now was the chance, now or never before it would eat you up from the inside and you would never be able to let go of it. “Under which name do you have me saved on your phone?”
Jaehyun widened his eyes, completely blindsided by this unexpected silly question, apparently. “Pardon?”
“My contact,” you described it better for him. “Under which name can you find me in your contacts?”
He confusedly proceeded to speak out your full government name.
“Exactly!” you called him out.
“I don’t understand.”
“You have me saved in your contacts under my full name!”
“Well… isn’t that your full name? Under what name should I save you then? Should I make one up or…” He shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on! What’s the problem here?”
You folded your arms in front of your chest. The longer you went on to explain this situation to a very oblivious Jaehyun, the sillier you started to feel. Were you exaggerating? But none of your friends had said so and claimed your feelings were valid.
Suddenly, your voice was very low when you poured out your feelings to him as there was no turning back anymore. “My friend’s boyfriends have them all saved on their phones under some cute nickname. Or with a cute emoji at least. I also have you saved as Yuno-ya with a heart. It makes the other person feel special and makes the contact stand out from everyone else. It gives you a little surge of excitement whenever that person’s name pops up. As you have me saved with my full government name… it makes me think if you see me as everyone else and I’m not that special to you.”
Your breakout followed a few moments of silence in which you kept your gaze locked to the ground as you were now kind of too embarrassed to face Jaehyun. Hearing these words… you felt so childish.
The pat you felt on the top of your head only shortly later convinced you of the opposite though. When you lifted your head, Jaehyun wasn’t laughing and he didn’t look like he wanted to make fun of you or didn’t understand your feelings at all.
“I’m sorry,” he said with genuine concern. “I… didn’t know. I have everyone saved on my phone with their full government name as there are just so many people that it really gives me a hard time to separate them all or even remember who they are. Even the members aren’t an exception, only my parents. It was just a habit I followed when we exchanged contacts and I was never bothered enough to change it. If I had known it was this important to you, I would have done it right away.”
Was it really this simple? Some men like your boyfriend just didn’t know, were totally unaware of such things and you simply needed to tell them to change whatever bothered you, no matter how silly and childish it might sound?
He was a perfect partner for you and you couldn’t believe you let such a futile thing question his feelings for an entire week.
Jaehyun smiled at you and pulled out his phone. “Don’t ever think again that you’re not special to me and I never feel excitement rushing through me whenever your name pops up on my phone. Your chat is pinned at the very top and your number saved as favorites. Among everyone I regularly keep in contact with, even if I don’t answer for hours, I always answer you first. I always recognize your picture, no matter how many times you change it. Upon first glance, I always recognize it’s you. My beautiful girl.”
He gave you a kiss on the cheek and then proceeded to type something into his phone with a wide grin, obviously changing your name name.
“What did you save my contact under now?” you asked and wanted to catch a glimpse, but Jaehyun quickly pulled his phone away from you.
“Text me now and you’ll see.”
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libraincarnate · 1 year
Text
astrology notes: 11 🌊
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quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. above all this is just for fun. lastly, these may or may not apply to you but you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or lover. enjoy!
✿ aquarius in the 1st house (composite): people may be surprised to you see two together as a couple. this can be because you don’t look like you’d be attracted to each other or because your personalities are different. maybe you guys have been friends before so your families/mutual friends didn’t see it coming. and perhaps you & your partner didn’t expect it either and it came as a surprise, something unexpected. a friends to lovers type of relationship. and although people may be surprised at your relationship they may see that the two of you get along really well, probably always laughing and talking to each other.
✿ neptune in the 2nd house: these natives may have recurring moments where they lose money or it just suddenly disappears even though they’re certain they remember exactly where they put it. may also experience money missing from their financial accounts.
✿ lilith in the 2nd house: can indicate someone who is sneaky, stealthy, & sly like a fox, good at stealing things and rarely getting caught. probably have a history of stealing and could have been doing this since they were young.
✿ lilith in the 3rd house: may have road rage and can be someone who doesn’t respect the traffic signs nor traffic lights. the type to make a u-turn when they’re not supposed to, run a red light, or go above the speeding limit. possibly the types that got into fights in their earlier years in school.
✿ lilith in the 4th house: may be embarrassed or ashamed of their family or their mother in particular. they may not like it when people come over their house and especially do not feel comfortable inviting their friends/partner over. their family may be overbearing, lacking social awareness, vulgar, messy, etc. this placement kind of reminds me of elizabeth and her family, the Bennets, from the movie pride and prejudice (2005 version).
✿ there are so many factors to look at considering your appearance in astrology. i have the features of my rising sign and although im not a libra rising, i’m very libra/venus dominant. i’m a libra sun/venus, my sun is at 7° (libra degree), i also have a libra stellium in my natal chart and in multiple persona charts, it just goes on and on. with that being said, i have dimples and so many freckles, beauty marks, and birth marks all over my body and basically on every body part. so don’t just look to your rising sign. check your dominant planet/sign, your venus sign, the degree of your rising/venus sign, your ascendant/venus persona chart, along with any planets in your 1st house because they can all have an influence on your appearance.
✿ when it comes to words, i’ve noticed that gemini tends to double check the definitions of words to make sure they're using it correctly. they like to expand their vocabulary and using that vocabulary in their day to day speech or to appear smart & they talk a lot, more extroverted. virgo tends to be more pedantic, correcting others for an error in pronunciation/spelling, there’s an emphasis on on grammar and they may flash their impressive vocabulary to show you how stupid you sound, at work/business meetings, or when they’re being sarcastic. they're both ruled by mercury, but i think geminis like to talk more than virgos. virgos appear bashful and quiet/introverted but they have their moments when they are feeling talkative.
✿ sun in the 4th house: these natives may stand out in their family in some way. their skin tone may be lighter than the rest, may be the smartest one, the tallest one, the popular one.
if you have siblings with sun in the 4th you might get compared to them a lot, people/your family highlights the qualities that your sibling has which are the ones you don’t have or maybe they point out how they’re better than you at certain things.
✿ chiron in the 4th house: may have felt like an ugly duckling, an outcast in your family, like you don’t fit in. omg just thought of meg from family guy as i was typing this. could have been treated like cinderella was by her stepfamily.
✿ aquarius moon: may enjoy or find comfort in watching wholesome videos or reading/listening to wholesome stories or news reports. the ones with acts of kindness & generosity, humans treating each other the way they should, the ones that “restore your faith in humanity.”
✿ people with gemini or aries placements tend to be impulsive or quick to react, especially with aries who can be intense & temperamental, or someone who is uranus dominant who can be quite unpredictable and capricious. but if you have pluto in the 1st house you may have great self control. you might be livid or scared on the inside but you have a poker face on the outside. this doesn’t mean you don’t react but you delay the reaction, you wait a little longer to see how things develop and decide whether a reaction is warranted or not.
✿ libras appreciate manners & respectful people so they may not be a fan of cursing and vulgar language. this is contrary to their sister/opposite sign aries who probably curses often and uses indecent words when talking. for libras it makes them cringe, for aries it can be a form of verbal, emotional, and self-expression.
✿ pisces love it when it rains. they find it soothing & dulcet. the change in atmosphere is something they can really feel & it’s comforting. they’re the types to listen to sad music when they’re sad, so the gray skies & dark clouds only makes everything better. taking a walk or being outside on the porch or balcony as it rains can be refreshing & purifying for pisces. laying in bed cuddling or falling asleep to the raindrops feels like bliss.
^ meanwhile sun dominants may hate it when it rains because the atmosphere looks too gloomy & dismal to them. and things could get windy, muddy & messy which makes them want to avoid going outside altogether.
✿ lilith in gemini: these individuals are quick thinkers & are good with words, they know how to be persuasive which makes them good liars, they can create clever lies on the spot. while this can make them appear untrustworthy, for these natives lying could have been a surviving mechanism. they may have been subject to tense, controlling, and traumatic environments & people and this could have made them feel like they couldn’t be themselves nor speak their truth. doing so may have resulted in more pain and suffering and to avoid or at least reduce that, they turned to lying to protect themselves.
✿ netpune in the 8th house: probably aren’t afraid of death and may even look forward to going to the other side (i’m not talking about suicidal thoughts). or they might wish to die in their sleep when the time has come. they may have a tendency to imagine gruesome things like strange/dark creatures & they might experience vivid nightmares that feel real. would probably be really good at creating morbid art.
✿ scorpio mars/venus: may be mean to their partner, not really in a serious way but in a teasing way. but trust me, underneath the little attitudes & the teasing they are in loveee. they care for their partners so deeply and just want to drown in them.
✿ moon in the 7th house: they don’t like when people are mad at them or when there’s strife in their relationships. it makes them feel emotionally uncomfortable which can lead to the native worrying and obsessively thinking about what went wrong. they’ll try to talk it out, perform acts of kindness, or other things to get the person to forgive them or to resolve any issues. this is another placement that may be too forgiving or tolerant in relationships as well.
✿ cancer: may be a very patriotic individual and so they may have the desire to go to war or fight for their homeland/country in some way like getting into politics for the sake of their country. they may feel a strong connection to their family, their background/history, and the land their family came from. could be the type to rep their flag and culture loud and proud. may want to give back to their country or the people there. tradition is important and they plan on keeping family/cultural traditions alive and/or even creating some of their own.
✿ 6th house synastry: gather around the fireplace my loves, were gunna talk about this synastry because often times it’s either disregarded, underappreciated, or seen as ominous. because of this i’ll mainly be talking about the positives and the favorable possibilities. warning, this is section is lowkey long af.   with 6th house synastry you get a feel for how well a person can fit into your life. because the 6th house has to do with daily life, routines, and schedules, this is such an important aspect in a relationship. the person you have 6th house synastry with could possibly think you make their daily life so much better. and if you are apart of their daily life, then there’s potential for you to be a big part of their life or to be in their life for many years. this doesn’t automatically mean this person will be a co-worker, employee, or employer, but if you can see, interact with, and develop relationships with the people you work with on a pretty daily basis for years, even 10+, then the same can apply to the those who aren’t co-workers, etc. but you still have 6th house synastry with them.
who knows, animals may bring you two together. could meet at the dog park, the vet, at an animal shelter or pet store. you guys may get pets together and it could feel like that pet is apart of your relationship/family. perhaps you two met at the hospital/doctor’s office, or when you happened to visit their place of work.
this person may look forward to seeing or speaking to you everyday. you can become apart of their routine, your presence can feel so natural that it feels like something is missing or different when you’re not around, when they haven’t heard from you, when you didn’t go out for your daily coffee together, when you miss dinner, when you’re traveling or away from home they can really feel it and miss you.
schedules are also important, such as work schedules. with unfavorable planets and aspects they might work a night shift but you may work a morning shift, or somehow your schedules clash. or sleeping schedules which can determine the rest of your day. for example they may be a night owl and you may be an early bird which means you may not get to sleep with each other often, can eat breakfast at different times, while you feel the most productive and energized they may feel the least productive or they’re just trying to unwind. almost functioning on different time zones.
but with favorable planets and aspects and such, this can bring so much harmony, connection, and understanding to the relationship. things flow. those moments when you’re sleeping together, get to just spend hours in bed, cuddling, making/having breaskfast together, knowing exactly what they like to eat, doing your morning/night routines together. a lot of the things are in the details but they’re still significant and can contribute to forming a bond. there’s more time to spend together and wanting to be near each other either doing something together or on your own but still next to each other. there’s a sense of familiarity and comfort.
there’s so much care and attention in 6th house synastry. your partner wants to put you at ease, making sure you’re okay, that you’ve eaten, you’re in a good mood. they’re supportive. they remember the important and little things about you. your likes and dislikes. you know those games where you and your partner answer questions about each other/your relationship? you guys would probably be good at that. when you’re sick they wanna do anything they can to help and alleviate your pain & discomfort. the type to never wanna leave your side until you’re well again. your well-being is a priority for them.
the 6th house is ruled by virgo which is ruled by mercury and the 6th house relates to the conscious mind as well. so with 6th house synastry, you may be someone that’s always on their mind, they find themselves thinking about you throughout the day. wondering what you’re doing, how you’re doing, the next time you’ll hang out, how much they love you, etc.
if i’m not mistaken, the 6th house also considers the physical body. so if positive placements and aspects in the 1st house can indicate good physical attraction and sexual tension/chemistry because of physical appearance, then why can’t this apply to the 6th house if it relates to the physical body? i’m not saying the 1st and 6th house are the same, but different houses do have similar themes. with that being said, sex can also be a big part of your relationship. for a lot couples, sex is important and even a deal breaker. this doesn’t necessarily have to do with one’s performance in bed but rather the sexual experience as a whole and how they connect with each other during the act. for a lot of people sex is more than just sex and in the 6th house this can be a daily/frequent thing. might like showering together. and because 6th house is the house of service, depending on the signs/planets in the 6th house there can be a dom/sub type of dynamic, not just in sex though. your partner may be more dominant or have submissive traits in the way they approach life and go about doing things.
going back to the physical body, there’s exercising, may together & perhaps helping each other stay healthy and on top things. there’s self-improvement here but in synastry there can be improvement and progress within the relationship too. creating common goals, creating plans with each other and if you’re doing these things together, surely you must see them in your life in the future. 6th house also talks about habits and you might be a good habit, something that is so good for them and their life, possibly even addicting or healing. with taurus in the 6th you can make them feel grounded and you bring stability to their life. with leo in the 6th you can bring fun, a burst of energy or happiness to their everyday life.
if they’re headed out to the store, food shopping, running errands or whatever, they might want you to come with them and you guys can have fun doing simple things like that. the type of partner that might be sitting with you or watching you while you put your makeup on/get dressed, helping you choose an outfit. don’t forget, acts of service is considered a love language for a reason! and relationships don't only consist of romance, going on dates all the time, staring in each other's eyes saying i love you every 4 seconds (hey scorpio 😘😂), but there's a more realistic & practical side as well.
mars in the 6th can bring passion, sex, desire, and determination. your partner can be a source of motivation. and i get that mars is a malefic planet, but every planet/sign can come with pros and cons whether it be benefic or malefic, and there are also favorable/unfavorable aspects, retrograde planets, etc.
venus in the 6th can bring affection, beauty, attention, love/romance, and pleasure. they may also help you with your self-love. acts of service may be a primary love language but remember signs matters to. with taurus venus it may be acts of service + physical touch.
or with gemini venus it may be acts of service + words of affirmation.
moon in the 6th here can bring an emotional connection, considering their feelings and what’s meaningful to your partner, someone who relieves your stress. may help you cope with your emotions in better ways.
plus, the 6th house won’t be the only house with planets in it. so having a synastry chart with 6th house energy coupled with that 8th house synastry ya’ll love, or even 5th house or 7th house energy may be really nice to have.
i see 6th house synastry described as unromantic and while i agree that the themes of the 6th house aren’t related to love, i still see it as a house with themes that can establish a very good foundation for a relationship and it can help develop a bond, and greatly contribute to intimacy and a close connection.
if you read the whole 6th house synastry section here’s an extra heart for you ♥︎, because you really read all that lol. i appreciate you! but hopefully this was helpful, encouraging, and i hope this brought a sweet & supportive perspective to this synastry.
if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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finisnihil · 3 months
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Hello pookies let’s talk about Aventurine and Topaz
Penacony spoilers+Analysis ahead
Let’s start off the bat, I personally like Aventurine more than Topaz and the main reason is because Topaz willingly works for the IPC while Aventurine doesn’t. Some people have pointed out in other posts of mine that Topaz didn’t voluntarily join the IPC. Her planet was dying and the IPC bought it, she joined because it was required of her, but here’s the difference. She chooses to stay.
She emphasizes in her talking with Bronya and the Trailblazer than she doesn’t stay with the IPC just because she has to or because she needs a paycheck. She stays because she likes working for them.
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Also, she sees what was done to her planet as a good thing. In her eyes, the IPC saved her planet, in her eyes it isn’t exploitation. She tries to force the same thing on Jarilo-VI to the point she attacks the Astral Express for trying to stop her after Bronya declined the contract. She felt entitled to Jarilo-VI and when she was told no she ignored it. To her, the IPC are the best. It’s no wonder either, as far as we know she hasn’t seen the truly ugly side of the IPC yet because the IPC need her. In her character stories other IPC constantly hype her up, she’s a prodigy, she makes the IPC more efficient. She raises the success rate from 63% to above 80%. Even in her early days we see her breaking rules and getting away with it because the IPC value her too much to lose her.
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They don't even question her calculations. Adding to this, when Aventurine is first introduced, it's after she's punished for her actions on Jarilo-VI.
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He gives a lot of context about Topaz's power in the IPC. She "dodged a bullet there", implying she theoretically should've got a stronger punishment than being demoted a rank and losing some bonuses she's mentioned she doesn't care about. He even mentions that somebody is "looking out for her". Topaz has backing. He also mentions Jarilo-VI was a high-risk low-reward situation and that her "kind heart" was a liability. Topaz has the room to take on such cases and exercise her "kind heart" because she isn't at risk of losing everything if she screws up. There's little consequences to her actions, there's powerful people protecting her, and the IPC need her. Topaz can leave at any time, she choses not to because she likes the IPC. You see this power dynamic in her character trailer.
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A throne is strong imagery and she's surrounded by money, the real representation of power in the IPC.
So let's talk about Aventurine and why I think he's interesting and why I like him more than Topaz.
Let's start with his power dyanmic within the IPC, or more so, his lack of one.
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Aventurine has a serial number on his neck and Dr Ratio specifically calls him a "thrall". The term thrall in this context seems to imply he's a captive of some sort of the IPC*, to them he's a product. We can feel his lack of power in the way people talk to him.
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Sparkle speaks to him in a super derogratory way and belittles him by implying he had to humiliate himself to influence Sunday. Meanwhile Dr Ratio writes him off as ruining everything before he gets to really do anything.
He gets power by gambling for it. Power is fleeting and he can lose it easier than most.
At one point he talks about how much money he loses wasting ten minutes. Ten minutes is nothing for Topaz but to Aventurine it's lost money and if he's not making the IPC money he's useless and viable to be cast aside. He can't afford it because he has no power. Compared to Topaz, he can't leave. He has less room for screw ups.
Onto friendship.
When friendship comes up, he keeps the idea at a distance. He asks how friends benefit him. Sparkle says he treats friends like bargaining chips and when he's talking with Dr Ratio he says that "Friends are weapons of Avgins". To him, friends are used for or against you.
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He doesn't have any real friends, he's always on his own. He has no backing. He can't trust anybody because he's in such a vulnerable state and everyone around him looks down on him because of his heritage. Dr Ratio even tells him he causes too much trouble to have freinds, likening him to a peacock with a jarring call.**
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Finally I want to analyze this conversation between him and Topaz. When asking for her help, he calls her old friend, implying he's planning to use her. The thing about Aventurine is that compared to Topaz, he's more ruthless because he has to be, he doesn't have the wiggle room she does, even Black Swan notes this saying he'll go to extreme lengths to maintain an advantage. Right now, that's what he's doing because he's being thrown to Penacony as a sacrifice. For the reasons above he seems to be the most expendable Stoneheart. He notes Penacony is a lost cause and Topaz is shocked that the mission isn't given to a higher ranking Stoneheart. He eggs Topaz into being his project manager with the idea she'll recover what she lost on Jarilo-VI. What he's really doing is using her to shield himself. With her involvement the IPC will be less likely to cut their loses with him, because they need Topaz and if he puts his eggs in her basket to care for they're less likely to be left to break by the IPC. If things go wrong he takes the blame… unless he has Topaz to sofen the blow. He's gambling on her power in their dynamic.
*My personal theory as of 2.0 is that the Sigonians and Avgins had a war and the IPC backed the Avgins for a benefit of their victory, assuring it. Aventurine was a captive or some sort of "war prize" hence the serial number and Dr Ratio calling him a thrall. It also explains the negative view of Sigonians and the very favorable view of Avgins among other lore we've gotten about it. I may do a seperate post of this theory.
**Sparkle and Dr Ratio liken Aventurine to a peacock frequently. Male peacocks use their feathers to attract the attention of female peacocks. This matches Aventurine's very flamboyant and charismatic character and his place in the story.
Feel free to add discussion, have a great day, mwah!
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cloveroctobers · 3 months
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FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.
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A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!
PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.
WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
it was a Sunday.
The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.
You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.
The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)
It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.
Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”
“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.
Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”
“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”
That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.
Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!
You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”
Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”
“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.
Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”
“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”
Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”
“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”
Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”
You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.
Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.
“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.
Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”
“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”
Sydney says, “give it time.”
“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.
Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”
“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”
“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.
“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.
You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”
Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.
“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”
“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.
“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.
Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”
“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.
Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”
“Hmm…it doesn’t.”
Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—
“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—
Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”
He nods.
“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”
“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.
If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.
He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.
That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.
You weren’t clueless.
He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.
What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?
The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.
“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.
“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.
“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”
“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.
Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”
“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.
See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?
You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”
Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—
“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”
“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”
You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”
Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.
“Everything okay in there, Neil?”
“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”
“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.
The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.
If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.
You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?
You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.
A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.
“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.
It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.
“…are you asking me to hang out?”
“We had fun at that club way back when no?”
“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”
You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.
The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.
Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.
“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”
You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.
“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”
“So…?”
“Can’t do it.”
“You didn’t even hear all the details!”
“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”
“I could never!”
“You know you could always ask carmy-
“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.
Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”
You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.
“Do you want me to hang up on you?”
“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”
“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”
“…whatever that means.”
“Right.”
You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.
Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.
Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.
Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.
You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”
“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.
“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.
“I’m not here to do think pieces.”
“…aren’t you a writer?”
“Have a good night, nat.”
“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”
Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.
“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.
His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.
“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”
The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.
Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.
You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.
Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.
The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.
He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.
Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.
“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.
Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”
“Watching you prep.”
You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”
A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”
“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.
“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.
You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”
“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.
Which is a sight to see.
You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”
Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”
“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.
Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.
“The hell is this place?”
You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”
“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”
You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.
“What looks good?”
“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”
The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”
“Sounds good...I guess?”
“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.
“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.
You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”
“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.
You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”
It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.
“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.
You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”
“That’s not really my problem?”
“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”
Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”
“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.
You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.
*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*
Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.
Not you.
“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.
You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”
Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.
“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.
That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.
So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.
“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.
Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”
“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”
Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”
Sydney.
You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.
“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.
His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”
You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.
The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.
Communication was important people!
And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.
“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.
Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”
Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”
“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.
“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”
She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.
“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.
Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”
Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”
“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.
Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”
“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”
“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”
Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.
“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”
“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”
“You wanna do this with me right now?”
“Yeah, I think I do.”
“I thought we could move past what happened—
“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—
“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—
“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”
“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”
Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.
“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.
“I saw you—
“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.
You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.
“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.
You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”
Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.
He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.
“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.
He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”
“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”
Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.
He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.
Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.
“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”
And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!
You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”
You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.
You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.
If you believe in that shit.
So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.
He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.
So you took carmy’s input into consideration.
With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.
Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.
He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.
Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.
Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉
“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.
You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.
Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”
“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”
“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.
Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???
Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.
He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.
Syd: well youre gonna.
~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~
“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.
Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”
He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.
“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”
Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”
“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.
You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”
“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”
“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.
Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”
“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”
Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”
And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.
“What’s funny?”
“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”
Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”
“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.
The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.
“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.
You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”
“What’s the rating?”
“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.
He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”
“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”
“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.
Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”
Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”
“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”
“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”
That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”
And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.
“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”
“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”
“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”
“Yet.”
Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”
“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”
Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”
“I said that?”
“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”
Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.
Someone just had to look hard enough.
“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”
“What do you want?”
“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”
“You swore off love.”
“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”
Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?
Maybe.
Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.
He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.
“How’d—
“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.
It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?
So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.
“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.
You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.
“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.
Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”
You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”
Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”
“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”
Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”
“On what? My review or showing up?”
“Both.”
“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”
“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.
And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.
You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.
Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.
And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
February fluff anthology series continues here.
201 notes · View notes