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buttertheflame · 6 months

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A List of Things To Come

*a long post*

I was on hiatus for about 5 years, but I think it's worth the risk of coming back. These are some thoughts and hot takes I've had since then up to now. My professional life is busy, but when I have the time, I'll share. Anyone interested?

Here's a preview, categorized by fandom:

A Song of Ice and Fire:

For asoiaf canon, I’ll speculate on what Jon and Val could have been, and what they could have had together, if he had not kicked the bucket. I’ll also contrast it with Jon's dreams of a life with her, and why he put the torch to it. :( Because of the root of her dislike of Mel and Shireen, I figure she will not be pleased with un-Jon.

Game of Thrones:

In GoT canon, Jon did not love Dany as much as the script suggested he would. In fact, they both failed to take responsibility for the other person. I haven't seen anyone make a statement like this before. (The PTSD is real.) But fic writers did pick up on this and tried to fix it in canon compliant stories, with a lot of success.

Supernatural:

In Supernatural s12-s14, Mary should have found her sons to be way more weird, specifically with each other. But given what we see of her in s6, her characterization is consistent. She would have, and did, ignore the red flags for an idea of family.

I’ll share approving thoughts on Sam and Dean's relationship in the final seasons, disapproving thoughts on the final season of Supernatural, and how I speculated it would either go Gencest or Destiel. We know what happened. No one walked away happy and I think the fandom was all the better for it.

Destiel is not canon. It only became a one-sided love confession. (I know there's a lot of speculation on what happened b/w the studio, the writer's room and the post-production team. Idc. Not gonna touch it.) Thoughts on how I think SPN could have made Destiel go 100% canon involve tweaking the execution and balancing out the themes of Sam and Eileen's love story, the big bad plot, and Dean and Cas's 'love' story.

Outlander:

Outlander (show-only) thoughts, foremost on Roger Mackenzie. He has vexed me from the first time he appeared on screen. I love him dearly, but he vexes me, for how he consistently affects the plot and how that defines his role among the main cast. Later on, I'll run through my favorite moments, episodes and narrative arcs.

Miscellaneous:

I'll share a list of favorite ship-centric fics I've collected over many, many, many years. (Gotta be over 10 years' worth). Along with blurbs that explain my recommendation in a non-spoilery way. Fandoms include: Harry Potter, LOTR, Supernatural, The Walking Dead, ASOIAF, Game of Thrones, Star Wars (Sequel Trilogy), The Flash, Shadowhunters [look away book fans <3], Hannibal (show-only).

I'll also post drafts of fics I never got right and never finished. Mostly GoT-canon divergent Jon/Dany fics.

Most importantly, some very dear friends have encouraged me to vent and hype up my Jonerys fic series "We Could Live Together" as I write it. It's GoT-canon divergent, but I alter some of what occurred before 6x09. Then the story re-enters book territory and moves toward ADOS conclusions. I'd also love to break down and discuss songs from the playlists when it strikes me.

This is the summary of Part 1, "A Long Way Home" (published):

After the Battle for Winterfell, Jon was captured by Bolton men then later found by Daenerys not far from Dragonstone. Their meeting blossoms into the most honest love--until Jon suddenly leaves for Winterfell, only to return to Dragonstone months later with more terrifying tales of dead men and Winter storms. When Daenerys chooses to send her armies north to fight the dead, all is certain but the matter of their bond. After the pain they'd endured, can they come together again? Or will separation be too powerful to overcome? *or* A romantic tale of choice and second chances.

This is the summary of Part 2, "Awake For Ever In Sweet Unrest" (in-progress and unpublished):

Winter has come and further fractured the realm. Yet Jon and Daenerys's betrothal and alliance is well known throughout the Seven Kingdoms. The secret that threatened to break them has made their love stronger, casting a fragrance of hope that draws to the last Targaryens all who seek refuge from political turmoil. Cersei Lannister has fled King's Landing in favor of establishing a bank in Lannisport, to guard against her deposition by the Iron Bank. Euron Greyjoy has set up a naval blockade at Oldtown, yet manages to beguile the Hightowers. And Walder Frey's sundown years threaten to pull his House into a civil war. From the Wall, Jon and Daenerys begin to wage war on the Others. Yet the age of wonder and terror, of gods and heroes, leads them and their enemies in the least expected ways. It begs the question: does all happen the way it must? *or* A romantic telling of the new War for the Dawn.

This is what I've been doing the past few years: working, (dating lol), re-reading the books and joining theory discussions on other sites. What touched my heart was readers asking for me to continue the fic series. Even as I considered it, I was conflicted. Since the show and book canon are so enmeshed, I think we were really vulnerable to being whipped and scored by D&D. But we all found ways to lick our wounds. I'm grateful we were able to become closer and stronger. I'm glad to be a part of it.

So that's my preview. If you've read this far, thank you. <3

There's more to come.

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thats-it-im-fallingdown · 1 year

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So I’ve finally finished season 4 of Clone Wars! Since the episode order is mostly lining up with the chronology, I can put my thoughts down into something resembling organized.

Mon Cala arc

-can that prince please not pronounce his own homeworld’s name like that? he calls it moan cala and i hate it

-it wasn’t necessary for the plot to work, but I’m curious about the history between the cala and the quarren. i wish we got some more details on why relations are tense

-the animators were clearly out of their depth (ha) with the setting. some parts felt like they didn’t know how to translate the usual fighting to an aquatic setting

-the story was satisfying, but I doubt this is anyone’s favorite set of episodes

-i can feel the gungans growing on me. not sure how I feel about that

Shadow Warrior

-how dare this show make gungans tolerable. coming into my home and making me okay with jar jar fucking binks

R2 and C3P0 duology

-some fun moments!

-would show it to my young cousins but at my age, it goes on a little too long. I’m not looking for/expecting deep meditations on war (American War by Omar el Akkad if that’s what you are interested in), but this is more in the kids show category than the family show one most episodes fall under

Umbara arc

-this is what I mean by being a family show vs a kids show

-I love this arc

-and Rex really gets fleshed out as a character in this one

-i didn’t get why people hated krell so much. i get it now. he’s like the umbridge of Star wars

-the tech designs for umbara and umbaran tech are pretty slick, i hope they get a cameo in live action some day

-the krell twist was. okay ig? it comes out of nowhere a bit. sure, he’s very strict on protocol and has a bone to pick with clones, but it’s said explicitly, more than once, that he gets results as a commander (paid for in casualties, but still successful). him being a relentless opportunist gets away from the clone thing, and i think digging into that could have been really interesting

Zygerrian Slave Empire

-hm

-not fond of the orientalist imagery in this one. won’t elaborate. i’ll say it’s personal for me and leave it at that

-how Anakin’s history as someone who was once literally enslaved should have been explored more

-this arc has its redeeming moments, but it also has a lot of wasted potential

-I might make a more in depth post someday, I have a lot of half formed thoughts about this one

Friend in Need

-this was a rewatch for me, I saw it when I was getting Mandalorian context for the Grogu and his working single father show

-I notice now that except for Bo Katan, deathwatch is all male. and to me, were implied to be sexually abusing the local women (the village leader mentions them having “taken” their women) maybe that’s what was meant by that infamous “they all died off years ago” re: exile of the warriors. no women, no offspring.

Crisis on Naboo arc

-ooh, I wish we get some more time on how Anakin was affected by Obi Wans faked death

-man, cad bane looks stupid without his hat. cover up that dome baby boy, you aren’t ventress, you cant pull the bald look off

-cad bane saving kenobi/hardeen in the Box. he’s a bad guy all right, but he isn’t entirely without honor. love that trope

-and I love palpatine’s scheming! glad to see a senior citizen staying active and involved

Ventress/Savage Oppress/Maul arc

-i love Assaj Ventress so much it’s unreal

-idc that the nightsisters are on the dark side. i love sisterhoods, i love witches, i love covens, it broke my heat to watch the separatists massacre them. at least mother talzin is still alive.

-i have so much Feeling for ventress. betrayed and abandoned again and again only to lose her sisters, and to feel like it’s her fault

-saving that girl from a forced marriage… ventress I love you.

-they should have let maul keep the spider legs, they looked cool

-I didn’t get the obsession with maul. I don’t really share it, but I do get it now. the raw drive for vengeance, his madness. I’m looking forward to where the writers take him

-obi wan and ventress are a great combo, their dialogue has a lot of chemistry

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twilightofthe · 8 months

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gonna put my random liveblog reactions for Ahsoka Ep 1 here

okay so the rebels fam are literally some of my favorite star wars characters i've loved and missed them since 2018 and if anything this show will give me them

i am going with zero expectations except a plea, a plea to just not make me hate it lmao idc what happens just let me have fun

just press the start button coward ass come ON

okay i'm startiiiing Now!

oooh they didn't name it interesting

kk cool drums that's neat we like that

whoa was that sabine's helmet in the intro????

OPENING TITLE SCROLL?????

WE REALLY LIKE THAT????????

y'all the new republic's about as stable as a human jenga tower don't u have anything better to do than find thrawn i'm p sure even the imperials didn't like him THAT much they were xenophobes

former jedi knight? HMMMM

why is it always a secret map

also appreciating the OG "let's open up on big ass ship in space" makes you feel small

ok have i heard this new republic(?) captain actor before he seems familiar

bitch literally anyone could have an old jedi clearance code clearance codes were passed around like

yeah he doesn't trust it either

but i feel like he's actually dickish and we're not supposed to like him so

ah yes rebel soldiers and their stupid-ass egg helmets

wait old white bearded guy you ain't obi wan you AIN'T a jedi

his voice sounds familiar too

i have such face blindness lmao

oh whoops that's a darkside saber his friend has!

she kinda looks like Merrin from JFO

Eh probs some kinda Nightsister of sorts

I'm guessing he's some Inquisitor who got forgotten

Hmm we really paralleling ANH with darkside guy slaughtering all the egghelmet guys on a ship xD

Ok his name is Baylan

And hers is Morgan and the intro crawl mentioned her but my memory is shit so I don't quite remember what she was about except vague Thrawn-related reasons

ooooh name drop!

aaaaaAAAAA RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS NOOO NO THE AHSOKA AND ANAKIN LEITMOTIFF TWILIGHT OF THE APPRENTICE THEME

ok i'm good lol

ohh wait so there IS a title

master and apprentice

alas it seems like the thing i didn't want is gonna happen but we are staying OPEN MINDED we are going to SEE

ok lots of tall pillars in what looks like another fuckin desert lmao

ey there's Snips

something on the ground? That kinda looks Sith-ish but also I have like no clue

hmm did they kinda fix her montrals or not i can't tell

Ehhhhh slightly

eyyyy wait are those the world-between-worlds lines

the statues kinda look like nightsisters but also like old sith statues

mmm caress the whispering pillar

ok indiana jones time to get your ass out of there before the booby trap

what am i saying she's anakin and obi wan's spawn she LIKES this shit

oh hey she made something happen

i feel like all of these pillars should have been turned at once

the force likes teamwork and that kinda thing

but it also kinda echoes maul and ezra's little teamwork exercise lifting those walls in the sith temple that one time

ope she found something

guessing it's the Magic Maul Map

ooh it's one of those bakugon balls or whatever they were we played with as a kid i had one that turned into a dragon

H U Y A N G

SHOW ME MY ROBOBITCH

armor person hello

what's the mask that's not a mando is it

nah i don't think it is

nah

is it a person in armor or a droid i can't tell

oh subs say droids they're droids

you poor bastards curbstomping droids was her high school internship job she is WAY more qualified than you

wasn't quite expecting ahsoka to play whackamole but good for her that sounds fun

oh hell yeah we stan the droids that self destruct xD

waiiiit yeah i forgot she had a B-wing they're cool!

STILL LOVE ME HUYANG

ahsoka there was NO way you didn't wait till the last moment to jump away from that explosion except to be dramatic

"the order doesn't exist anymore" you shush missy we KNOW you know who luke is he's trying his best

ahsoka lbr do you even know what standard jedi protocol is

Fulcruuuuum

DAMN FUCKING RIGHT HUYANG IS FULCRUM HE DESERVES IT

also he looks so good in live action i forgot to mention that!!!!! <3

"T-6" girl u need to name your SHIP anakin would be APPALLED

well if that's the same ship with the darksiders on at least

h3ERA

HERA

HERA HERA HERA

HERA MY BELOVED

wHERES CHOPPER

WHERES CJASON JACEN WHATEVERTHE FUCK

H E RA

oh right this is mary elizabeth winstead oh boy i hope she does well!

i wonder if ewan was there

aNYWAY HERA

ok unpausing sorry had a Moment

General

Ok so the voices aren't quite matching but we'll see

ooooh hera has a patch on her jacket let's go back to that later

"abilities like you" hera kanan told you what darksiders were like inquisitors tried to kill y'all

she has sabines firebird on her jacket

don't mention thrawn around hera she'll just think of ezra ;_;

oh so morgan was thrawn's

EZRA NAME MENTION

GONNA DIE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok this is nothing on mary's performance she's doing fine but hera's dialogue doesn't quiiiite seem her? we'll see

oh yeah and rosario's doing better this time more natural

IT’S LOTHAL LOTHAL LIVE ACTION LOTHAAAAAAAAL

ITS BEAUTIFUL SO SO BEAUTIFUL

wait who's speaking

THEY SAID EZRA AGAI

THAT'S FUCKING RYDER

RYDER AZADI HELLO YOU WONDERFUL BASTARD YOU LOOK GREAT

Hi Clancy Brown good to see you do you know you have an evil Devaronian twin who's running around bothering Din Djarin as we speak

well at least sabine still hates politics

my dude ryder you know her tf did she say to make you think she was coming at all lol

WAIT JAI

JAI KELL HELLO EZRA'S EX BOYFRIEND

YOU'RE SO HANDSOME MY BOY ALL GROWN UP WONDERFUL

wait ryderrrr c'mon don't be a dick again you were so well

OH HELLO GWEN STACY SPIDERVERSE VIBES

not quiiiiite liking how sabine grew her gay haircut out in this but still digging the bike fit

also hello Natasha good luck pls treat my dear well i love her greatly!!!

hmmm not sure how much i like other non-OG ghost crew giving themselves Spectre callsigns yes i AM being gatekeepy fuck off

good sabine is running from authorities we do love that

hey her voice kinda matches that's great!

oh i'm liking her acting already

i think

SHE HAS A LOTH CAT ON HER HELMET

that's my GIRL

also it's very interesting how the pilots call each other by their spectre callsigns but address sabine--an ORIGINAL spectre--exclusively by name

lothkitty LOTHCAT

LITHCAT WITH THE FOOOOOFYTAIL AND LITTLE SPINDLE LEGS

im gonna DIE

it's so cute i can't even

also getting Emotions(TM) at ezra's old tower

hmm you think sabine has depression

FUCK OFF WITH THAT SABINE SEES EZRA MUSICAL CALLBACK

oh hey hey it's his original message to theeeeem

wait shit yeah it's the new one just to her

ooh it's eman! i can't see his faaaaace expressions but the voice sounds similar? like it seems like he's tryna match taylor's way of speaking good for him

ok yes but ezra is a jedi show pretty please for me don't go there with sabine

ok ok that's enough complaining from me lmao

ACTUALLY NO WAIT ONE MORE *inhales*

i would prefer sabine and ezra to stay platonic friends. no hate to shippers but i just personally would like them to be friends/siblings, that's what would make me happiest because i like to imagine sabine as a lesbian and also their dynamic as friends/siblings just makes me happy

but shippers are of course still welcome here and if they do become a couple i won't begrudge you your fun :')

ok ok ok ok ok NOW i'm done lmao

back to Best Boy sorry bby you were speaking and i interrupted you <3

oh hey hey he did say sister! i'd like that!!!

but also ezra when tf did you have the time to record those both weren't u a bit busy planning the attack on lothal

oh it's darkside goth girl

nice smoky eye

oh wait fuck she's got a PADAWAN BRAID

heyyyyyy i was RIGHT about the temple statues looking like nightsisters!

but wrong about darkside goth girl being one then tho

well masked emo fucker following bryan or whatever his name is is probs an inquisitor

wait wait wait does MORGAN have gold eyes?

ooooooo

oh no wait darkside apprentice has gold eyes again

ugh okay so we ARE getting force sensitive sabine then

alright fine i'll make my peace with it this episode

even though it makes no SENSE

no no pe not going there we are going to have FUN

aaaaa repeating ezra's final dialogue from the rebels finale ;_;

love the mirroring shots to rebels ep 1 RIGHT DOWN TO SABINE WEARING EZRA'S ORANGE

ahsoka and anakin leitmotiff coming back hmmm

oh wait fuck i think ezra drew those lothcats oof ;_;

ok good good we going back to sabine being the rightful art expert in the gffa take second place and DUNK urself thrawn

ok i get they're tryna make them ex master and apprentice but imma say it. imma SAY IT

ahsoka and sabine give awkward exes vibes

BIG awkward exes vibes

m a s t e r

you both know damn well she's gonna take it anyway or at least try who are y'all even kidding urselves

oooh surprise surprise the darksider are former jedi-associated

oh right his name's baylan not bryan

WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED

oh there's goth darkside girl

if anyone hurts sabine's cat i will kill the entire world and then myself

i swEAR TO GOD

WHY DOES THE SHOW KEEP MAKING AHSOKA AND SABINE SEEM LIKE ANGRY EXES LMAOOOO

COME ON

ahsoka ur being emo so hera is allowed to make a dig at anakin

hera you're trying your best girl lmao

it's always rule of three it seems

kinda gives me that mortis trinity vibe

this reminds me of the time i got one of those 3D puzzles from barnes and noble and i was supposed to take it apart and put it back together and failed utterly

ope she did it!

again if someone even TOUCHES that fucking cat wrong i go full john wick

bitch NO SHOOTING NEAR THE CAT

ope they smashed the map

ahsoka my dude i'm guessing you know where sabine lives why didn't u just go find her lmao

wait does sabine have ezra's green lightsaber i can't tell from the hilt because i'm shit at recognizing hilts

i can't even appreciate the duel because i am admittedly pouting but they are both very pretty at least

sabine how r u not getting ur hair chopped off

oh fuck she got stabbed?

maybe shoulda worn ur mando armor

oh and she's still MOVING

oh nope there she goes

oh wait who's Ray? :(

okay

okay okay okay

dave my dude.........

okay so i am going to take some time like a few minutes or so

and process this sabine thing

like if i cannot find a way to come to fucking terms with it i will not be able to enjoy this series

ik ik that sounds dramatic i'm just

hmm ok five minutes

#sw the ahsoka show #ahsoka #sw ahsoka #ahsoka show #liveblogging the ahsoka show #star wars #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #sw spoilers #ezra bridger #ahsoka spoilers

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scrabbleknight · 2 years

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I've never watched the Star Wars sequel trilogy but I heard people hated it so here are a few things I would've changed to make the movies more sellable.

The Stormtrooper guy (Finn, I think???) is not a Jedi in canon. Here, he's still not a Jedi technically. However, he keeps a lightsaber. Instead, he acts like some kind of non-Force Jedi for two movies (also the main protagonist) until bam! He has Force powers in the third. Weak Force powers, but Force powers still.

Rey is still Palpatine's daughter (I only found out via memes) but it's revealed in the first movie. The second movie would have people not trust her due to her lineage and she struggles with her identity. She eventually accepts that she's got evil blood in her but that she can be good regardless.

Kylo Ren's backstory: He was part of Luke's students from a young age. However, he was tempted by the Dark side and slowly corrupted while under Luke's tutelage. His betrayal ended with him murdering one of Luke's students and running away.

Luke is still the hermit guy but his reason is now more enforced. He felt that he failed Kylo so he left, depressed and everything. Rey, while still struggling with the fact that she's the grandbaby of the devil, empathizes with him. And helps him get his confidence back.

The rest of Luke's students end up being Jedi! But they kinda had to finish their studies without Luke to teach them. One of the students-now-Jedi (idk how SW names work so I'm calling him Rook Ma-Tau) is searching for Kylo Ren to avenge the death of his fellow.

Rook dies when he fights Kylo. The reason being is that he didn't have the heart in him to kill Kylo because he still cared for him like a brother. Rook helped train Finn a bit and in turn, Finn takes his lightsaber after giving Luke's old one to Rey.

Idc about the handsome pilot guy so yeah.

Luke is also dead this entire time! The reason Luke couldn't continue teaching was not only because of depression but because he was dead. He's just a Force ghost now and refuses to move on until Kylo is redeemed.

The cute Asian girl (idk her name) is still Finn's love interest. She's a mechanic and came from a large aristocratic family with many siblings. She left because she didn't want to stay in their shadow and also because her family has ties to the bad guys. Finn and Rey team up to save her when her family kidnaps her. They also topple the family while we're at it, which helps the good guys.

Idk anything about the rest of the movies so yeeeeeah...

#star wars #sw #star wars sequel trilogy #finn star wars #rey star wars #kylo ren #luke skywalker #rook ma-tau #star wars rewrite

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kylermalloy · 2 years

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also. sorry second message, because i thought of something else. i’m personally tied into this reading of the end of the originals because i’ve started my great Legacies ReWrite, but also tomorrow is the last episode of legacies and we can finally put all of this to rest but i’ve been perpetually two episodes behind, but i am going to figure this out ie break down exactly the Differences we have when we approach the end of the originals but it will probably be AFTER i watch the finale (klaus will be there so idc about ANYTHING else, which i think is our main point of difference which is that i am entirely klaus focused, which weirdly IS an outlier, like i don’t really care about elijah at all). anyway, so maybe next week but i think it will be good, for me at least, like we’ll finally be speaking the same language when we talk about the originals.

fwiw i was shocked and appalled when klaus and elijah died and i think that i believed solely in elijah’s death and not klaus’ and it kinda ticks me off that he’s dead still but after some time i don’t believe in any timeline where either of them make it out but not because there’s a story that makes sense for both of them to die.

so.

Hi again love 🥰 so Legacies has now officially ended and of course they had Klaus come back and cry (because of course he did, bless him) and the tvdu has come to an end. (Let’s keep it that way. No prequels, sequels, or spin-offs, you hear me? We can’t all be Star Wars. But why would you want to be Star Wars is another question.)

Anyway. My relationship with the ending of TO is a weird one, because there is so much I don’t like about it, and yet we still got the best case scenario finale. I even use that as a talking point when I try to lure people into the show. (hey, do you like brothers who die in each others’ arms? Somehow I’ve only ensnared one person. 🤔)

I remember very clearly thinking about the ending the day before the finale dropped. There were three possible endings in my mind—Klaus dying, just like the trailer indicated, Elijah dying in his place, or both of them dying.

I figured the second scenario was most likely. The trailers telling us exactly what would happen (Klaus says goodbye then dies) seemed anticlimactic, and we were in 2018, peak Subverting Expectations era.

Now, it was a bit weird that Elijah had offered to take his place in the previous ep and was rejected—you’d think that should be a surprise for the finale, if that’s what they were planning—but I still thought it was the most likely “solution” to the dumb problem they’d set up.

Personally, I hated the idea that one brother would die and the other would live—they’d be eternally separated, and I’m not about that life. That’s why I hoped for the third and most distant possibility: they both die. So I was pleasantly surprised that I actually got the dream ending.

Now, I say “dream ending” but it is very much not that. Given the way the rest of the final season played out, I got the best ending I could have. Since I have no control over anything the writers did, I am simply happy with the cards I was dealt.

If you asked me what my ideal ending for TO would be, I would back the story up at least two seasons and start from there.

You have to understand, my taste has less to do with character arcs and narrative payoff than, like…characters existing together. It’s why I don’t care to examine whether or not Sam Winchester actually wanted to live a normal life after losing Dean. I’ll gladly read discussions in both directions, but the only thing I really care about was that he was reunited with his brother in the end (and the car, how can I forget the car? Sampala endgame…) At the end of it all, I am a woman of shallow tastes.

But considering that the entire show was about Klaus and his “redemption,” it’s counterintuitive for him to die at the end, especially when he’s still been Pretty Awful up to and including this final season. Having him die and Elijah be like “nah you’re good, bro” right before is a pretty weak cap to the show About Klaus’s Redemption.

I don’t see an ending where Klaus dies organically and satisfies the rest of the story. I’m of the opinion that the reasons for killing him were exclusively Doylist.

As for Elijah, his character development took a cliff dive after season 3, where it was already on shaky ground with the Marcel business. Given how they were driving him into the ground, I can’t see an ending where he makes it out alive—not unless we, again, back his character up a few seasons and do some rewrites. (I’m not saying nix the atrocities, because I love murder Elijah. I’m just saying…treat the atrocities with more care.)

I expected TO to do a tvd-esque ending where Elijah sacrifices himself for Klaus because to the unenlightened mind there is no difference between the Salvatores and the Mikaelsons. Not because that’s what I wanted—just, I couldn’t expect anything better. The signs were there: Elijah commits evil and has a Depression about it, Klaus commits evil but has a symbol of hope that things will get better for him.

Typically anyway “has a child” is shorthand for “is/can be a good person” which is like…what they were doing with Klaus the whole time. (Although no matter what, they were planning to send Hope off to boarding school again, so really what does it matter what they do with Klaus.)

Then there’s the weird morality trip the show went on starting in season 3, in which we posit the Mikaelsons Don’t Deserve To Live Because They Are Evil but like…we knew that. We know that. That’s never been what the show is about. It’s always been about these people who can’t be killed, so they can do whatever they want because regardless of whether they deserve it, they’re gonna live forever—but then everything changes because Hope.

Wait where was I going with this?

…this got weird. The short version: I’m not happy with the ending on any level except “otp.” These idiots died in each other’s arms and they can find peace with the other dead people they love. My monkey brain is happy. However, it’s not supported by the narrative unless we look at it from the lens of “spin-off coming to the CW this fall.”

#asks #laertez #the originals #should change my blog title back to ‘unfocused ramblings’ because wow #where does hayley fit into this? I DON’T KNOW that’s how messed up this final season was #don’t know what to do with these characters don’t know how to fix it #please give me your thoughts here bc i love the way you talk about the show #if i am playing 2d chess with TO then anna is playing 5d chess #thanks for sending this in mwah <3 #gonna take a nap now because words have stopped making sense

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kaserolly · 9 months

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2, 6, 18, 23, 61, 63 💙💙💙💙 you can answer tomorrow if you're tired now, get some rest bestiest (i'm gonna sleep too!!) 💕

HIIII NICO AAAA SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO REPLY TO YOU :(((((( hope you slept well and that you feel rested btw 💚💚💚 and TYSM for the ask ilyyyyyy 😽😽😽

2. What movie(s) could you watch over and over and not get tired of?

The Original Trilogy from Star Wars 🥰🥰🥰 they truly have a special place in my heart, literally my faves from the franchise and overall just... Amazing movies :3 honourable mentions include Home Alone 2 and any of the Lego Cinematic Universe movies 🥰

6. Favorite movie from the 90’s?

Home Alone 2, with Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace being a close second 💚 like I said, I'm never getting tired of rewatching it whenever it airs on Pro TV every December, plus it's my fave from the franchise so 😭 I also included SW Episode 1 cuz I have lots of great memories watching it on TV a few weeks before The Force Awakens was released <3 even if the CGI of that movie is uhhh obviously outdated ;-; still a good movie tho

18. Favorite movie heroine?

the original ask had the heroin spelling which made me think of drugs vbgdgf help ;-; UMMM anyways my fave is definitely Princess Leia :3 idc that she wasn't technically the protagonist of the original SW trilogy vjfbgh I LOVE HER SO MUCH WAAAAAAAA 😭 but if you want my fave female protagonist thennnn it's a tie between Rey from the sequel trilogy and Wendy Christensen from Final Destination 3

23. Favorite movie soundtrack?

WEEE THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS QUESTION 🥰🥰🥰 well my fave movie soundtrack will always be the Tron Legacy OST, like IT'S SUCH A GOOD SOUNDTRACK AAAAAAA IT FITS THE WHOLE CYBER WORLD ATMOSPHERE OF THE MOVIE, AND OF COURSE I HAVE TO MENTION THE FACT THAT DAFT PUNK MADE THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE MOVIE AAAAAAA 🥰😭 LIKE THEY'RE ABLE TO MAKE CINEMATIC TYPE OF SONGS AND THEY PULL IT OFF SO WELL AAAAA DEFINITELY CHECK THIS WHOLE SOUNDTRACK OUT CUZ ITS SO GOOD AND DAFT PUNK MADE IT AND I LOVE THEM AND THEIR MUSIC AND JUST HHFHJHJJ sorry I got over excited 😭😭😭 point is I love the Tron Legacy OST and I love Daft Punk 🥲👍🏻

61. A movie your parents introduced you to?

OOOO there are so many movies that I watched because my parents (mainly dad) introduced me to 😭😭😭 like the reason I started watching franchises like Star Wars and Indiana Jones, as well as war movies and many science fiction stuff, was because of him, and honestly that's one of the things I love about my dad 🥺 mom also introduced me to some movies, mainly Titanic (didn't like it that much ;-;), Love Actually and Romanian classics such as the Liceeni (lit. transl.: The Highschoolers) movies and Veronica, aka one of the movies that defined my childhood 🥰

63. Least favorite genre?

It used to be horror when I was younger, but in the recent years I've started to appreciate this genre a lil more 🥺 nowadays my least fave genre is those Western movies, idk I just never really enjoyed movies that were set in the Wild West 😭 oh and also shockumentaries aka mondo films ;-;

#a :3 #sensazioneultra #nico tag #ask game #i really liked answering those questions you gave me bestiest 🥺💙💚 love youuuuuuuu hope you're doing well my dear 🥰

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zouisalmightie · 1 year

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... stucky?

oh babes stucky is my bread and motherfuckin butter. absolutely 1000% ship! this is going to be stream of consciousness im so sorry

1. what made me ship it is steve literally broke 70 years of brainwashing by just saying buckys name. that’s how important steve is to bucky literally all he said was his fucking name. and then! steve literally put down the shield and was going to let bucky kill him because (once again!!!) he couldn’t live in a world where bucky did not know him. and then!!! he put down the shield and gave it to tony, gave up his superhero status because bucky is what he cares about.

2. my favorite things about stucky are “when i had nothing else i had bucky” like think about this for a second. steve literally did not know what his enhanced body could do, but he still went in stormed the fucking hydra facility by himself not fucking backup and was like im getting my mans out of here. they both had the opportunity to leave the other in the war and they both were like nah i gotta stick beside him. bucky fuckin dies and Steve drives his plane into the fucking ocean idc that he was holding a picture of peggy (which i do think steve loved her he’s my bi sexual king) you don’t think a tactician like steve couldn’t have figured out how to get the plane in the water and stay alive?? and then bucky literally his first memory we see is of steve (“but i knew him” the pain in his eyes im fuckin screaming). steve has always been his north star we see it in fatws he talks about what steve would want or what steve would do. that’s the one thing that bucky knew and bucky could trust even before hydra and the war. and i also love the fics that come from stucky writers like im in a lot of fandoms and some of the best written novels came from stucky.

3. idk if this is popular or unpopular but my headcannon is that steve is the only child of irish catholic immigrants and bucky is the eldest son of a jewish family. nothing can or will change my mind if this. also if we are talking mcu bucky, the decision to not give him the shield over sam was absolutely the correct idea he didn’t put in the work to take over for steve (also my biggest and most correct opinion is steve never would have went back in time to uproot peggy’s life like that, not because of bucky but because he got to hear from her how happy she was with her husband and no matter how much steve loved her he never would have gone back to take that away from her the russo brothers can meet me in the fuckin parking lot for that). also if they were at all invested in bucky, we should have seen his recover in wakanda not only would that have given us more of the beauty of the country, we could have gotten more bucky and i was fucking robbed!!

to ship or not to ship

#ALSO we should have gotten to see Steve and sam on the hunt for bucky before civil war this has nothing to do with the ship and everything #to do with the fact that i deserved this it would have been hilarious we couldn’t gotten more mackie which would have made more people #invested in fatws and from a marketing perspective the mcu does not know what the people want #stucky #idk if any of this makes sense anon im so sorry 😂#answered #annonymous

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happytroopers · 2 years

Text

Andor eps 2- 4 shit post

Maybe its my depression maybe its the show but I'm entirely apathetic towards this series so now im like 5 eps behind but this is me trying

Ep 2 spoilers below duh

-starting with a flashback tbh the flashback scenes were the More interesting bits from the first ep

-I love when there's random seemingly defect machinery just everywhere in Star Wars

-strip mining????

-idk who this man is or what he's doing but I love it

I wanna be Star Wars dramatic bell clanger

Star Wars Quasimodo

most of this show is just different characters suspiciously speed walking through alley ways

momma andor???

"It's all your women I'm worried about." Icon behaviors

oh what's his face is gonna turn Cassian in bc he's jealous I'm calling it now

I know this bc men suck

fuck u box's boyfriend who's name I can't remember. I was on board with you until you did this

this show is so dark. like lighting wise. I'm in my pitch black living room and im still having trouble making out all the faces

put me back on Tatooine where the desert suns burn my retinas through my silly lil screen

"corporate tactical forces" privatized police you mean

I love that this guy despit4e being ostensibly handsome definitely gets no bitches. Absolutely no play

I have that lantern in my camping gear rn

not to be off topic... I wonder what Boba is doing rn

its 5 years pre rogue one, so I'm assuming bounty hunting and being generally annoyed at Han Solo's existence but like... I want to go to there. (there is boba's lap)

insert the Cassy-Casssssy tik Tok audio here but this time its Cassian- Kassaaaa

are those Jedi issue sir? Ahhh fives I miss u every day

BELL MAN BELL MAN BELL MAN

hes an icon. fave character too far

abandoned after imperial mining incident.. Mandalor type beat

at least in legends

Edward Cullen type beat

how many darks can this bad boy hold

also are they poison or just tranqs

-that is an UGLY ship

-IS THAT BILL FROM MAMMA MIA

-THAT'S BILL FROM MAMMA MIA

-"if you can't find it here it's not worth finding" me at my local thrift store

-wow were two episodes in and approximatley one thing has happened. And it was the thing that happened int he first 5 mins of the first episode

EPISODE 3 spoilers obvi

-I want to be interested so bad

-pls let my depressed lizard brain latch on to this

-also why does Tumblr fuck up my formatting when im on desktop

-desktop is supposed to work better and yet

-why does this give me among us vibes

I never even played among us

for some reason I feel as though this is going in the direction of somehow in some indirect way something Cassian does is gonna be the root cause of Kenari's mining incident

that seems very par for the course

me too Cassian. I also react that way when I see my reflection

BILL FROOM MAMMA MIA

idc what his Star Wars name and back story is

just as with the marvel movies- that is simply Bill Anderson, Swedish adventurer, author, and singer of silly songs

soo not mamma andor

ahh I FORGOT THE FLASHBACKS WUOLD BE REPUBLIC ERA

perhaps even clone wars era

idk what that weapon that bill's got, but I like it

"the drowser" new gear just drpped

"you know how cold she gets" im soft

aww even fictional cops break citizens rights

bc hes a rat

of course his name is fucking Tim

Bill that was Optimus prime level inspiration

woah I love the organized signaling

bill I love you

a lil attracted to u rn

what is the lay out of this building

was it made to be one big OSHA violation

what is its purpose other than dramatic destruction

RIP Timm this was kind of ur fault

I love how even despite the fact that we know Cassian is a morally grey character, we're really doubling down that these blue guys are evil evil and it wasn't just those two assholes

love cassian emerging from the shadows

very sexy of him

they even made gun ships, my fave ship, ugly

lmao

RIP to the cop that got exiled

SHIT BOX SPEEDER IM IN LOVE

smart but sad. that speeder waS neat

I swear I know the Maarva actress

"we need to get out of here." no response "SIR WE NEED TO GET UOT OF HERE"

SHIT THAT'S AUNT PETUNIA FROOM HARRY POTTER THATS WHY I KNOW HER

at least things happened this episode 5/10

EP 4 spoilers below obvi

-MON MOTHA IN THE THUMBNAIL

-mon mommy sorry mommy?

-Bill has his wn ship... just like in mamma mia

-the parallels are amazing

-"you're bleeding on my floor"

-Med Nog? SAY MOORE RN. is it just more alch??? is it bacta infused? miracle healing Elixar??? I need mor4e information immediately

-Sep??? is the separatist / confederacy of independent systems still kicking for am I missing something?

-"you'll ultimately die fighting these bastards" its sad bc its true

-CORUSCANT MY BELOVED

-nt the imperial security beureua

-"are you being purposely vague?" me at this show

-NOT SCARIF

-kyber crystal????

-Blue kyber??? hmmm

-dont steal the ship Cass

-hmmm why are we lying to the rebellion folk

-tie fighter sound effects my beloved

"close to nothing. But not very far from everything" also could be said about my hometown

-this is a nemik fan account.. for now. Idk he has good vibes

-I wish to be on Corucsant. concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do

-MON MOTHA APARMTNE T!!! I WANT TO OGO T THERE

-marriage problems??? fuck this guy

-I can't wait to see the CGI for the celestial event

-who is this blonde girl and why do we care about her

-"can I eat my food?" me too Cass

There's been significant improvement ! ok thats all the new content my brain can handle today good night.

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baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

Lmao anon, every time I speak to them I cannot believe it, but realising they're actually losers definitely helps, loser on loser convo! 💓

The Barbie discourse is cracking me up, a few months ago I watched a lot of videos about Barbie movies, rankings etc. Tbh I haven't seen that many films myself, but I do remember some and they were fun, some on the other hand... WHY??? Same with Bratz movies, girlies what was going oooooooon

Omg, I have so much work to do before leaving for Malta on Friday, so many clients to deal with. When I was sick I had to finish some translations, I've even done them while flying - don't recommend jobs, besties find someone to sponsor you when you can, because my brain is about to exploooooode, I just want money not work ehhhuh

I took the PCs to my grave. Bury me with my pink Hwas, lol. Yes, Malta is kinda like Italy but also 3764 other countries, the language is sooooo confusing, but they mostly speak English because... colonisers 😬 I'm actually going there for my friend's wedding since same sex marriage is legal there (funny cause the island is FULL of churches, not even joking it's just churches, yet people seem open-minded, I guess both things are possible, huh)

I need to know what Hwa said about the LSH agenda, gotta stalk OPs account for tea

A member who's the easiest to talk to, obviously Seonghwa 😅 but then I think Hongjoong, Wooyoung too, but my god he changes topics quicker than I do

Shit so the concert date is unfortunate for you. Hmmm take your parents to the concert? 😭 Hamilton is weird I've heard a lot of Canadians complain about it. I hope you end up going though! I haaaate concerts in winter but if I don't have to travel far or at all it's not that bad. Sadly I can't go to SK this year, so next year it is, I already have some things arranged 💀 hopefully everything ends well for both of us

GIRL are you Y/N?! Who's your billionaire boyfriend? 👀

Stop I'm too unhinged about pinka Hwa, idc what other Shitstars or even Hwa himself say, it's his best colour and even won in the Twitter poll, ofc DV Hwa was second as he should

Anyway I need a good driver to take me to the airport, so driver Taehyung be ready! (the ponytail 🤧)

Absolutely malfunctioning, who's this? Rockstar boyfriend, edgy milf, baby girl??? This is lil meow meow for sure

EATING MY WALLS ACTUALLY at boba eyed Hwa and the fact Sannie bought him a surprise Star Wars gift 😭😭😭😭 - though I hate that video comes from the NFT thing 💀💀💀💀💀

I got "Purple; love as creativity" I'm an Army??? Ngl my answers were based on what I'd like to read in a fanfiction, not my personal preferences ahhahahahaha

Baeeeeeeeeek Kim Kibum's comebaaaaaaack AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?! - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Lmao anon, every time I speak to them I cannot believe it, but realising they're actually losers definitely helps, loser on loser convo! 💓

LMFAOOOO BFNEHDSJ LOSER ON LOSER 😭😭😭😭

omg no fr barbie discourse is the one of the best things on this acc,, UR SO RIGHT SOME (NEW ONES) ARE STRAIGHT UP ???? WHO AGREED TO THIS 😭😭😭 bestie tell me ur favourite barbie moves rn 🔫

“don’t recommend jobs” 😭😭 BESTIE I NEED ONE FBWNDBNE omf it would be a dream to be sponsored and travel 😭😭🤚🏼 like one of those travel youtubers ENVY ENVY 🤌🏼😭

I need to know what Hwa said about the LSH agenda, gotta stalk OPs account for tea

what if u put a barcode on ur grave and it loads a photo of pink hwa 😭😭😭 OOOOOOOO WEDDINGS time to have ur y/n moment <3 BRMWJDKW NO WAY 😭😭😭 I looked it up and malta has 365 churches 😭😭😭 1 for every day 😭😭🤚🏼 nO YEAH GET IN CONTACT ASAP WE NEED TO PUSH THIS AGENDA REAL FAST

A member who's the easiest to talk to, obviously Seonghwa 😅 but then I think Hongjoong, Wooyoung too, but my god he changes topics quicker than I do

omg i knew hongjoong would be on this list! surprised at woo bc i also thought he’d just ramble on 😭😭😭 then! who’s the most awkward to talk to?

LMFAOOOO FHWJHDKW NEVER IN MY LIFE my mother would love to see seonghwa irl bUT THWNBDWK NO 😭😭 YEAH HAMILTON is weird, there’s like nothing,,, bland no spice noTHING the houses aren’t even pretty,, it’s like middle of nowhere idk how tf they all found this place when they could’ve done any major city 😭😭😭 the snow there is NASTY 😭😭 till ur knees and all sometimes worse 😭😭 next year it is!!! hopefully before they drop their cb 😭😭 but MALTA HOPE ITS FUN THERE PARTY TOO OKAY GO CRAZY GO STUPID hope there’s a guy like him there dressed like that

GIRL are you Y/N?! Who's your billionaire boyfriend? 👀

GIRL I WISH 😭😭 i would like to say atm the only billionaire boyfriend i have is the yunho im writing 😭😭

Stop I'm too unhinged about pinka Hwa, idc what other Shitstars or even Hwa himself say, it's his best colour and even won in the Twitter poll, ofc DV Hwa was second as he should

OKAY PINK HWA SUPREMACY BUT THAT SILVER BLOND HE HAD???? 🫠🫠🫠🫠

Anyway I need a good driver to take me to the airport, so driver Taehyung be ready! (the ponytail 🤧)

the man of ur dreams literally,, bestie i would like to disclose that imay or maybe not have had a dream where seonghwa was the main character in, idk if it was him bc i forgot the face the moment i woke up BUT I HAD A FEELING it was,,, he was some villain but he had some sort of past life and he recognized it in the midst of the action,,, here’s ur driver who’s also ur billionaire bf

Absolutely malfunctioning, who's this? Rockstar boyfriend, edgy milf, baby girl??? This is lil meow meow for sure

sorry who’s the first guy? 🤨 no clue whoops STOP HES SO CUTE HIS BOBA EYES 😭😭😭 GONNA EAT MY FIST

EATING MY WALLS ACTUALLY at boba eyed Hwa and the fact Sannie bought him a surprise Star Wars gift 😭😭😭😭 - though I hate that video comes from the NFT thing 💀💀💀💀💀

NO UR SO RIGHT HIS EYES IM GONNA 😭😭😭😭 HOW DO U LOOK INTO THEM WHEN UR TALKING TO HIM AND NOT GET LOST o ain’t no way it’s from that shit 🔫🔫 never watching it 🔫

so true

I got "Purple; love as creativity" I'm an Army??? Ngl my answers were based on what I'd like to read in a fanfiction, not my personal preferences ahhahahahaha

U GOT THE BORAHAE COLOURS FBWNBDWNHDWK U GOT THE RARE FIND no same 😭 i got this!

Baeeeeeeeeek Kim Kibum's comebaaaaaaack AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?! - DV 💖

BETSIEBRBWNHDWKHDKWDHKW HE LOOLS SO FUCKING GOOD THE QUALITY THE BEAUTY THE KIBUM IM OBSESSED WITH IT i can’t sleep is sO SO SO GOOD the entire album is so ???? 🤌🏼🤌🏼 the quality omg,,, the quality of his mv is INSANE so so beautiful WHATS UR FAV TRACK MINES I CANT SLEEP but im still not over this

bestie did u hear about this

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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writingforfun0714 · 2 years

Text

This is my first Star Wars Clone Wars fic. I saw the show as a kid when it aired on Cartoon Network in the 2008 and was disappointed when it ended at season 5. I was excited to hear it come back for another season on Netflix sometime in the mid 2010’s, and when Disney announced season 7 back in like 2019. Now that Disney owns it, I love watching the entire series start to finish in a matter of days. Suffice to say Clone Wars was a large part of my life and Star Wars in general. The first SW thing I saw was Attack of the Clones. I loved it so much (I was 5, saw it a year after it came out) and had a crush on Anakin. He was my favorite character, even though my dad disliked him until Clone Wars. My dad watched it with me on CN when it came on every week and taped it for me (he was divorced and laid off so we had a VCR instead of DVD player). I was absolutely crushed to watch Anakin turn to the dark side and get his limbs chopped off and burned alive in Revenge of the Sith. RotS came out when I was 7, but I was 8 when I saw it air on TV a year later and definitely too young to see that.

I was 10 when the Clone Wars movie aired, just before the series. I was the right age to really get into the lore and characters. Anakin is my favorite for nostalgia, but I fell in love with Ahsoka Tano and the clones. One of the biggest improvements to Star Wars was giving the clones personalities, which the Clone Wars successfully pulled off. What was a mass of copies in AotC became a lovable, loyal, and honorable group of characters. I fell in love with Anakin’s blue and white armored 501st legion and Captain Rex specifically. I also grew to love the fan favorites like Domino Squad, 99, Wolffe (and the Wolffepack!), Cody, Waxer, Boil, Gregor, Gree, Ponds, Monnk, Cut Lawquane, Fox (I love Fox idc some people hate him), Bly, Thire, the Bad Batch, and so many others.

This story is how Anakin got his scar. They never show how he got it or the fact that he even acknowledges it and that, as a kid, always bugged me (especially once Clone Wars came out and had the opportunity to explain it but never did). I never read any of the Star Wars comics (extended universe) now called ‘Star Wars Legends’ and is no longer canon (since Disney bought SW) but I know a few well known things about some comics/books. I believe they did explain Anakin’s scar in one comic or graphic novel and that he got his scar from Ventress (like Commander Wolffe) but it’s not canon. I like that Wolffe went up against Ventress at some point but for me, I personally HC that Obi-wan gave Anakin that scar during training.

Warnings—Spoilers for CW and Obi-Wan, does not line up with SW Legends, headcanons, talk/depiction of mental illness, angst, has time skips, lemme know if I need more

*Takes place between Attack of the Clones and the Clone Wars animated movie and series*

Summary—During a typical training session, Obi-wan accidentally hurts his padawan Anakin.

I’m Sorry Anakin

3rd POV

Life at the Temple isn’t always easy. There’s rules to follow, studying to do and training to complete. It’s certainly a lot different from the life of a slaveboy from Tatooine. Anakin Skywalker has been a padawan for many years now and even though the rules were different and the studying was hard, he found he enjoyed life as a Jedi. After reuniting with his childhood crush, Padmé Amidala, the 2 married just as the Clone War began. Because of the War, Anakin is required to do more training. The Jedi Council agreed that for the War, more padawans should be made Jedi Knights to help serve the Republic. And with Anakin being the ‘supposed’ Chosen One, well, it was obvious the Council wanted him prepped and ready early.

Anakin finds Master Kenobi in one of the training rooms, sitting with his legs crossed and his eyes shut peacefully, though Anakin knew his master better than that.

“I’m sorry I’m late Master-“ Anakin apologizes to Obi-wan’s sigh.

“Anakin, we’ve talked about this. You need to dedicate yourself to your studies and training now more than ever. Didn’t you listen to Master Yoda?” Obi-wan scolds.

“I’m sorry Master-“

“Then mean it,” Obi-wan counters to his padawan’s somewhat lazy attempt at an apology. Anakin looks at him and Obi-wan just sends him back a stern look.

“I do Master. I’m sorry…” Anakin repeats, “I’m sorry, I just…lost track of time, that’s all.” Obi-wan sighs again.

“If this happens again you’ll be on security detail for Madame Jocasta in the library for a whole rotation,” Obi-wan threatens. Anakin nods as his master stands.

“Well better late than never, I suppose. Go through Forms 3 and 5,” Obi-wan instructs and Anakin nods, getting into a ready position with his lightsaber in hand, though not ignited.

“Yes Master,” Anakin says, shifting, holding the metal hilt with both hands, testing out his grip with the new robotic hand. Obi-wan gets into a ready position as well and the two share a look before Anakin moves to strike first.

After going back and forth, blocking, dodging, and countering endlessly, Obi-wan manages to get the upper hand. He counters Anakin’s blue blade with his own before using his free hand to Force-push the blade harder. Anakin is still getting used to his robotic hand. That’s when Anakin sees his lightsaber start to shift out of his robotic fingers. The pressure forces Anakin’s grip to give out. Obi-wan, unprepared, doesn’t let up in time. Anakin manages to drop his saber , shutting it off, but Obi-wan’s blue blade suddenly connects with his face, slicing over his right eye and eyebrow.

“GAAAHHH!!!” Anakin cries out in pain, jerking back so only the tip of the blade touches his skin. Obi-wan manages to shut off his lightsaber almost immediately. Anakin falls to the ground, clutching his face and Obi-wan gasps, almost frozen for a moment before he snaps out of it and races to his padawan’s side.

“Anakin! I’m so sorry—Anakin are you alright?!” Obi-wan panics instantly. This is pretty much rule 1 of being in charge of a padawan. Do not hurt your padawan. Standard stuff…and Obi-wan broke it.

Anakin breathes and groans through it, still clutching his injured right side of his face.

“Y-Yeah-I’m…I’m ok-“ Anakin says as he tries to sit up. Obi-wan helps him and keeps a gentle but strong hold on the young man.

“Let me see Anakin-“ Obi-wan says, trying to push Anakin’s hand away from his face.

“No-you’re gonna touch it-“ Anakin whines.

“I won’t-I just need to see the damage-“ Obi-wan tells him. Anakin moves his hand and winces in pain as Obi-wan moves closer to inspect the sizzling line of flesh going over the young man’s right eyebrow and eye. His eye is red and irritated but isn’t bleeding or anything, still, Obi-wan frowns with concern.

“Can you still see?” Obi-wan asks, offering a hand, which Anakin gratefully takes.

“Y-yeah but it’s mostly one big spot from the light of your saber-“ Anakin explains as Obi-wan hauls him up to his feet.

“Let’s get you to the medwing and have a droid look you over,” Obi-wan says, gently guiding his padawan with both hands on Anakin’s shoulders.

“Obi-wan-I’m fine-it’ll heal-“ Anakin says.

“Then humor me,” Obi-wan insists. Anakin knows better than to argue, so he merely nods.

“Ok Master,” he replies quietly as he gingerly touches the skin around the burn slice.

“Don’t mess with it-“ Obi-wan gripes, slapping Anakin’s hand gently.

The two finally make it to the medbay and a droid motions them over.

“I am A-LN394, your assigned medical droid. I will scan you now,” he says, not even waiting for a reply.

“He wastes no time huh?” Anakin asks with a small chuckle as the droid’s scanner moves up and down his body.

“Droids,” Obi-wan shakes his head lightly.

“Scan complete. I’ve detected a small 1st degree burn on the right side of your face, please, hold still while I apply aloe ointment to aid in the healing process-“ the droid tells Anakin. The droid covers a bandage with a small amount of ointment before covering the sensitive, burned skin.

“You are lucky you were not blinded-“ the droid tells Anakin. Although the droid didn’t mean to, Obi-wan feels his heart clench at the droid’s words. He could’ve seriously hurt his padawan. The boy he promised his master he’d protect. Had Obi-wan hurt Anakin even worse than he did…he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

“Master?…Master!” Anakin says, getting Obi-wan’s attention.

“Hm? Oh-y-yes Anakin?” Obi-wan asks, snapping out of his spiraling thoughts.

“Are you ok?” Anakin asks him. Obi-wan blinks stupidly at his padawan’s question.

“Because you know it was an accident-right?” Anakin asks. Obi-wan sighs and nods.

“Still, I am sorry,” Obi-wan apologizes. Anakin gives his master a small crooked smile.

“Don’t worry Master, I’m ok. Really. Watto used to hurt me worse-“ Anakin replies off-handedly but stops when he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. Obi-wan blinks in surprise. Usually Anakin doesn’t want to talk about his past.

“Anakin, you are not a slave anymore. You are a Jedi-“ Obi-wan tells him.

“I know Master-“ Anakin glances away. Obi-wan looks at his padawan and decides not to push him. So the Jedi Master sighs wearily.

“Get some rest. You’ll need it for your studies tomorrow-“ Obi-wan tells Anakin as he walks out.

“What? But you said I had saber training all week-“

“I know what I said. Now I’m telling you something different. You’re off training until you heal,” Obi-wan says. Anakin sighs. Normally he would complain. But he knows that the extra saber training is just for him to get used to his new prosthetic hand. Anakin knows he’s already one of the best duelists out of all the padawans training to be knights.

“Yes Master,” Anakin says as Obi-wan walks out. The droid finishes wrapping the bandage covering his right eye.

“Your eye should completely heal within 2 weeks. If it becomes infected or you have any problems, please come back to me. Patient is finished, goodbye,” the droid says and goes back to cleaning up. Anakin sits up and slides off the bed before walking back to his quarters.

In the months that followed, Anakin was granted the rank of Jedi Knight and as such, has been given command over the 501st battalion. Anakin and Obi-wan are on their way to meet the head of the 501st, CT-7567.

“So, are you ready?” Obi-wan asks. Anakin nods.

“Of course Master, I’m ready for anything,” he says.

“Good because I heard from Commander Cody that your battalion…” Obi-wan trails off with a smirk. Anakin raises the eyebrow with the scar cutting through it.

“What? What about them?” Anakin asks.

“They’re loyal, brave men that have a tendency to…” Obi-wan tries to find the right words, “get into trouble.”

“Trouble?” Anakin asks. Obi-wan nods.

“And Master Yoda and Master Shaak Ti both agreed that the 501st would suit you perfectly,” Obi-wan says, earning a playful shove from Anakin.

“Oh they did huh?” The younger man asks.

They arrive at the hangar and spot a whole legion of clones standing at the ready. Most are in white armor but some do have blue paint on them. The clone in front has a blue upswept pauldron, black and blue trim kama at his waist and blue jaig eyes painted on his helmet.

“Attention!” The captain announces and everyone steps together in sync. Anakin watches on in awe. Obi-wan and Anakin walk up to the captain.

“Hello Captain,” Obi-wan greets happily.

“Hello General,” the captain replies. The formality and helmet hides the captain’s happiness well.

“Captain I’d like you to meet my padawan-“ Obi-wan says.

“I’m a Jedi Knight now Master-“ Anakin corrects.

“Yes, but you will always be my padawan,” Obi-wan argues calmly. The captain looks between the 2 jedi. The captain, being friends with Commander Cody, has heard all about General Kenobi and his padawan, Commander Skywalker. Though, he supposed it was General Skywalker now.

“This is Anakin Skywalker,” Obi-wan says. Anakin holds his hand out and the 2 shake hands firmly, though Anakin is careful with his grip.

“I am CT-7567, Captain Rex at your command General,” the captain, Rex as he’s called, salutes.

“Don’t do that around him too much Captain, you’ll give your new general a swelled head-“ Obi-wan warns, though the two are already not listening. Instead, Rex is introducing Anakin to a few other clones in the first line up.

“General, meet Jesse, Kix, Tup, Dogma, Hardcase, Ax, and Hawk, some of the best soldiers I’ve worked with and I’m proud to be their CO,” Rex introduces. They all stand at attention, making Anakin uncomfortable. He’s always been the padawan. The one to take orders, not to give them.

“Uh—at ease guys. No need for all that formal stuff with me,” Anakin tells them. The men look to Rex, unsure if he’s serious.

“Are uh…you sure General Skywalker?” Rex asks.

“Sure, whatever makes you guys feel comfortable,” Anakin assures his captain with a crooked smirk.

“Y-Yes sir,” Rex says, straightening. Anakin merely chuckles quietly before shaking his head lightly.

“You’re a lot like Commander Cody,” Anakin comments to Rex off-handedly. Rex nods.

“We’ve worked together for a long time. We trained together on Kamino,” Rex explains and Anakin nods.

“I’ll do my best to keep you and all your men safe Captain, I give you my word,” Anakin promises. Rex blinks at the young general’s sheer determination in his voice.

“I..Thank you, sir. I’m honored to fight this war with you and I hope my boys and I will earn your trust and respect,” Rex tells Anakin. The young general smiles and nods before turning to the one they call ‘Jesse’.

“So, you’re Jesse, right? You trained with Rex too?” Anakin asks.

“Yes sir. I’ve been lookin’ up to Rex my whole life…hope to make ARC trooper someday,” Jesse tells him. Anakin gives him a nod.

“I’ll be there when it happens,” Anakin tells Jesse, and the two share a determined smirk.

“And you? Hawk, isn’t it? You wanna be an ARC trooper too?” Anakin asks.

“No sir, I’m trained to be a pilot. I want to fly sir,” Hawk tells Anakin, who nods.

“I’ll make that happen-don’t worry,” Anakin assures the clone. Hawk looks to Jesse, who gives him a thumbs up.

As Anakin goes through the men Rex introduced him to, getting to know them, Obi-wan stands and watches, thinking to himself. Most Jedi do not do this. The Jedi know their commanders, their captains, but not every clone in their battalion. That’s why it was easier to assign the clones numbers. But Anakin is getting to know them as men, as people who have dreams, and likes and dislikes. They’re all currently gathered around the young man as Obi-wan watches silently.

“So General, do you mind if I ask you how you got that scar?” The one called Ax, asks. Obi-wan’s eyes widen as his memory assaults him. Flashes of what happened appear in his mind before hearing Anakin’s cry of pain echo in his head.

“Oh-this? I was on Geonosis when my Master and Senator Amidala were chained to this pole-“ Anakin begins to lie. Anakin knows Obi-wan is obsessing over his injury and the fact that it was he who gave Anakin his scar. Obi-wan hurries out while Anakin finishes the story with breaking out of the chains, killing the animals attacking them and the reinforcements coming to get them, missing his Master exiting the hangar to be alone.

Months pass though it’s just one long, seemingly endless battle to the Jedi. Brothers have become enemies as war raged around them. Their battle-weary soldiers turned on the Jedi and executed them. The last time Obi-wan had seen Anakin…Anakin-Anakin…was when he told his padawan to update the Chancellor while he was to report to the Council. He had seen him again…only…after reuniting with Master Yoda, did Obi-wan learn of Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. Holorecordings of the Temple showed Anakin, already turned, kill Younglings. Nearly all of the Jedi still at the Temple were killed by Anakin’s 501st battalion, thanks to the inhibitor chips implanted in every clones’ head. Anakin went to Mustafar to kill the remaining Separatists. Padmé, Anakin’s wife, tried to stop him, unaware Obi-wan snuck aboard her ship. Anakin, his in rage, mortally wounded his wife by Force-choking her, forcing Obi-wan to step in and battle his fallen padawan. Lava and heat…and anger. So much anger. Obi-wan was overwhelmed by it. Each block took everything out of the man as Anakin roared in frustration. Through the smoke of the collapsing facility, Obi-wan makes out Anakin’s face, his once sky-blue eyes are now a golden yellow, the eyes of the Sith. His scar accentuates his harsh glare and the anger that radiates from him.

Obi-wan sees his opening and leaps onto the black rocky glass that touches the river of lava.

“It’s over Anakin!!! I have the high ground!” Obi-wan warns once.

“You underestimate my power!” Anakin snarls back.

“Don’t try it!” Obi-wan begs.

“RAAAAUUUGHH!!!!” Anakin yells as he leaps. He flips just as Obi-wan swings. The sound of his lightsaber connecting with flesh pierces his ears before Anakin’s scream of pain.

“GAAAAHHHH!!!” Anakin screams as he tumbles to the ground, in pieces. Most of him, his torso, head, and right arm are still in tact while his legs, cut at mid-thigh, and left arm are smoldering where the lightsaber cut. Obi-wan shuts off his lightsaber as he watches his former padawan struggle and groan in pain. Obi-wan shuts his eyes angrily as his Master’s words echo in his mind.

“YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU’D DESTROY THE SITH-NOT JOIN THEM!! BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE!!!! NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS!!” Obi-wan yells at him as tears stream down his face. Quigon died for you, Obi-wan wanted to say, but he held his tongue. Anakin lifts his head to glare angrily at his former master.

“I HATE YOU!!!!” Anakin yells at him as he struggles.

“YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN!!! I LOVED YOU!!” Obi-wan yells back. The steep incline and Anakin’s struggling has actually made him closer to the river of lava and once he’s close enough, he starts screaming from the pain of the heat. That’s when what’s left of his thighs suddenly catch on fire.

“AAAUUUGHHHH!!! AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Anakin screams as he’s burned alive. Obi-wan, watching the for the first couple seconds, eventually has to look away, unable to watch the man he considered to be his little brother, be in so much pain. He picks up Anakin’s deactivated lightsaber as flashes of that day in training intrude his mind. He takes a breath and hurries back to the ship to check on Padmé as Anakin’s screams being burned alive echo behind him.

Years pass. Both Skywalker twins have been placed in loving, but separate homes, for their own good. Obi-wan has decided to look after Luke since he knew Bail and his family were the safest place for Leia and wouldn’t be needed. How he was wrong. It was about 10 years until his friend, Senator Organa contacted him to help him rescue Leia. Obi-wan, begrudgingly obliged, and now, after finally getting the girl to a ship home, after getting so close, Darth Vader has stopped them. Obi-wan knew that Vader is only interested in him, so, Obi-wan chooses to fight him alone, instructing Haja, a trusted thief and Roken, a leader in the rebellion, to protect Leia. Obi-wan decided to take a small shuttle ship.

He finds a small, remote area and lands before waiting for Vader. Obi-wan sticks his hand in his pocket and feels something cold and metal. He pulls the object out and smiles when he sees it’s Lola, Leia’s droid pal. He puts the droid on the dashboard before heading out.

Obi-wan sees an Imperial ship land before it opens. Out walks a tall, menacing figure all in black. Buttons cover the chest plate and a black cape billows behind the masked figure and the sound of a ventilator happens every few seconds, indicating breathing.

“Have you come to destroy me, Obi-wan?” Vader asks.

“I will do what I must-“ Obi-wan says, igniting his blue lightsaber before dropping into his familiar stance, pointing 2 fingers at his former apprentice.

The two fight and at first, it seems neither will gain the upper hand. That is, until Vader manages to bury Obi-wan. The older man manages to stop from getting crushed by using the Force. Thoughts of Leia and even Luke flash through his mind. His love for his padawan may be gone, but the Obi-wan has love for his ‘brother’s’ children. And that’s what helped him get free. His love for Luke and Leia made him stronger. He raced after Vader, hoping to catch him before he left for the others, and luckily, he did, though his sneak attack didn’t quite work.

The former master and padawan duel until Obi-wan manages to slash the small beeping console on Vader’s chest.

“GAH!” Vader screams in pain though it sounds warped and distorted…robotic. Obi-wan takes his moment to slash Vader’s helmet, breaking it to expose what’s underneath.

Obi-wan watches in horror as Vader straightens to face him.

“Anakin,” Obi-wan’s breath catches in his throat. Tears form in his eyes and threaten to spill over when he sees what’s happened to his former brother.

“Anakin’s gone. I am what remains,” Vader responds, straightening. Obi-wan shakes his head ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry Anakin…for all of it,” Obi-wan apologizes.

“I am not your failure, Obi-wan. You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker…I did,” Vader tells the older man, his voice mixing with his robotic ventilator. Obi-wan’s watery, pleading look changes into pure sadness.

“Then my friend is truly dead,” Obi-wan realizes. He shuts off his lightsaber.

“Goodbye…Darth,” Obi-wan acknowledges Vader and walks away.

“Obi-wan!!!” Vader yells before collapsing to a knee. He watches Obi-wan leave, abandoning him again.

“OBI-WAAAAAAN!!!!!!” Vader screams as Obi-wan leaves him behind. All Obi-wan can think of, is how sorry he is.

End

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars clone wars #clone wars fanfiction #sw cw #sw cw fanfic #clone wars fanfic #clone wars #angst #fanfic #Star Wars fanfic #sw fanfic

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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leossmoonn · 2 years

Note

okay LAST ONE bc im gonna have an asthma attack or smth if i keep going on w this

again this one might be slightly self indulgent bc of my frequent trips to disney but again idc

this man. wld lose his MIND eating the classic disney nachos™️ bc they are just normal nachos but they ARENT and i dont know how to explain it to someone who hasnt had the nachos

but ALSO he wld enjoy the different smells and sounds (specifically on main street where they pump that fake bakery smell lol) and dont even try to tell me that he wldnt thoroughly enjoy going on like dumbo or smth😤

Idk what Disney nachos taste like but I want some.

I feel like sometimes he gets overwhelmed with new smells and sounds bc his senses are just always on overdrive. But he would get so excited smelling and hearing different things! Like you two would spend a full 2 days of Matt just discovering new smells and sounds and you telling him what they are, and him having a smile on his face like “that’s cool 😆”

Honestly I haven’t been so Disney in a hot min but you guys have the star wars exhibit finished right?

But yes Dumbo is his fav ride. He likes going on all the kid rides bc of the happy music. That man deserves to be happy and he never even got a real childhood, so you let him go on Dumbo as many times as he wants

He also loves the Star Wars. He definitely tried to battle the guys who are dressed up as Darth Vader and confuse them bc well, he’s blind and nobody thinks a blind guy is that good at fighting lol

#matt concepts #matt murdock

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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maggotmouth · 3 years

Text

hello, it’s nora again…. hitting u with another child (i cnt resist). this is rory, a he/they local indie softboi who is the definition of tender. has a burner phone and doesn’t use social media. does techno dj sets. plays the synth loudly through the night if u live in port apartments his room always sounds like a space ship just landed. deals weed around the seafront on his rollerskates (high five gays and gals). hates that he can’t get new light up wheels on ebay because ana coto made rollerskating cool again. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board. this intro is recycled?? so if there’s mistakes, idc sue me??? and be sure to like and subscribe for more unboxing content x

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SETENCE FOR SEXI GOOGLE DOC VERSION!!!

application.

* TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, DEMI-BOY / GENDERFLUID + HE / THEY | you know RORY BERGSTRÖM, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, TWO YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to STAR WARS THEME / CANTINA BAND (12″ DISCO MIX) BY MECO like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BED HAIR FROM A PERMANENT STATE OF SLUMBER, CALLOUSED FINGERTIPS FROM STRUMMING BASS INTO THE EARLY HOURS AND DJING INTO THE BLACKLIT NIGHT, SELF-HELP BOOKS THUMBED ONCE AND THROWN BENEATH YOUR BED, thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is MARCH 5TH, so they’re a PISCES, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat covered in badge pins to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

rory is obsessed with greek mythology (queer allies, i hear u and appreciate you)

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some. right now is dad to one cat, whose name changes on a daily basis (identity is constantly shifting, duuuuude), but they were originally named ‘wheezer’. currently the cat is called thomas o’malley after the alley cat in the aristocats / rory’s first crush

rory's been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. rory doesn’t really know where they fit just yet, sometimes rory feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all. identifies as genderfluid / non-binary but pronouns within that shift a lot. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in late so you’ll see him on the way to get groceries at 12pm still in pyjamas

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around irving dealing cos they dnt have a car

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones, floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes: weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… is very tender and tame… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

skate gang skate gang m*therf*ckin skate gang - rory is tryna get better at skateboarding but basically moved to irving for the beach skating scene

rory’s only been here 2 years they moved after they dropped out of art school but i think they’d have some friends, maybe the friend who originally persuaded them to come to irving cos rory’d just dropped out and was feeling shitty n they were like hey dude come chill on the beach with me

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth)

ok so rory used to have this band called dogs die in hot cars, he was the bassist, there was also a lead vocals /guitarist and a drummer. this is super lame but i made a playlist of the kinda songs they’d make a few years back, u can listen to it here, if ur character is musical and they’d vibe with that and u think they’d be a good fit hmu x

honestly i want some nerdy as fuck DND campaign group. maybe he even used to LARP and now tries to hide that part of himself to be ‘cool rory’

an anime comic book group or some shit

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs n they literally don’t even know each other they just nod and say hey buddy how’s it hanging and that’s the extent of their relationship

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

hm i used to say NO HOOK UPS but now that rory has !Evolved! ig we can do hook up plots if u want but he’s not tht good at divorcing sex from emotion?? like he hooked up w teddy once (rip) n felt hopelessly in love so..... if u want soft plots b prepared for crippling sadness.......

discord me for plots u know the drill. rip diana babycakes you would’ve loved the disco remix of star wars theme cantina band x

#irvingintro #dj play kill your local indie softboi xxxx #muses.

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