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#i hate lucky again lyrics
lwt28brave · 1 year
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passing by to drop a huge confession and leave
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ladadiida · 7 months
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𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 as much as you wanted to stay by his side, you couldn't bear the thought of watching him fall in love with other women while you're stuck at the kitchen washing dishes and measuring ingredients. so you dreamt of leaving, of traveling to different islands to share your lovely songs and tunes; but the more your desire to leave grows, the more sanji finds himself drowning in your warmth.
or,
you and sanji over the years, wherein five times you tried to leave him and the one time you finally did, despite his refusal to let you go.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 musician reader, 5 + 1 things, pining, unrequited love, not actually unrequited love, heavy (kind of) angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 HERE IT IS! the response to the sneak peek was crazy, and so i rushed to get this done. i only watched the live action so beware of minor mistakes if you ever saw one. english is also not my first language and you are welcome to correct me anytime for any grammatical errors. title is a lyric from the last time by taylor swift ft. gary lightbody. this fic is also posted in ao3 with its full summary and WITH A BONUS CHAPTER. enjoy reading!
𝐰𝐜 11.3k
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"There you are."
Your soapy, wet hands almost dropped the ceramic plate you were currently washing in the dirty kitchen sink as soon as you heard a familiar smooth and honeyed voice. Abruptly turning off the sink so that the sound of his approaching footsteps were clear to your ears, you wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand before turning your body towards him.
He was carrying a stack of plates, a fresh batch to add to the pile you had to wash, with an obnoxious yet handsome smile plastered on his lips. You took a deep breath to calm the growing irritation at the bottom of your stomach, reminding yourself that this was your job and you only had a couple of hours to endure until you're free to lock yourself up in your bedroom. You were particularly looking forward to writing today, and the thought of finishing the lyrics to your new song tonight slightly eased your mood. Accepting your fate, you pointed to the remaining space beside the sink.
"Place it there." You told him, albeit begrudgingly as you turn on the sink again and pour more soap on the battered sponge.
You took a mental note to ask Zeff later about buying new sponges, and if you were lucky to catch him in a good mood, you'll put in a request to get the sink fixed and cleaned. Your eyes scanned over the grime and rust around the area. If you were going to spend the rest of your life washing dishes, then you might as well get a proper kitchen sink to do so.
An amused laugh fell out of the golden haired man you grew up with, surprised at your compliance to do the job you hated. The sound nearly sent your poor heart into a dizzying whirlwind of little nuisances called emotions. "What a hardworking woman."
"I could say the same to you. It seems like you have a new record today." You said while you splashed dirtied bowls with soap water, smiling at him teasingly, "Thought you would've been kicked out of the line by now."
"The old man just can't help but to accept the fact that I am a greater cook than him." He smirked, wiping a knife with a dish cloth. Trying not to roll your eyes, you shook your head at his usual display of arrogance, yet you can't help but to grin as you began to hear scratching sounds against the floors.
"Then you better get those chopped carrots ready." You replied, and when you got to finish your sentence, the doors to the kitchen swung open, revealing the head chef.
Zeff's cold and steely eyes immediately landed on the blond. He walked towards him with a fast pace despite only having one leg, his braided mustache bouncing in each step.
"Aye, aye, aye. Why haven't you started on the carrots yet, little eggplant? Can you get any slower?" He scolded, loud enough for the whole staff to hear, but none of them even flinched. You returned back to your plates and glasses, smiling softly. This was part of your routine everyday: to listen in their silly arguments.
However, before the younger chef can reply, you butted in, "Sanji fetched some of the plates for me. Since there's a lunch rush, I couldn't leave the kitchen."
Zeff let out a low hum. You couldn't even see Sanji's face, but you knew him well enough to know that he was smiling triumphantly, knowing that he won this time. After a few minutes of contemplating, the head chef clicked his tongue. "Don't defend him, little lass. But I'll let it slip this time. What are you waiting for, then? Start cutting them!"
"Yes, chef." Sanji answered in a jovial manner, placing the carrots on a chopping board.
Twisting the faucet lever so that the water flow from the sink is gentle and quiet, you then paid attention to their little banters every now and then. You brought up a wine glass and positioned it by your side to try to get a glimpse of the two most important men in your life. Through their reflection on the glass, you can see Zeff hunching over Sanji's knifework, nodding every time the vegetables were correctly sliced.
On the other hand, Sanji was unbothered by the head chef's observations and continued to cut the ingredients calmly. Some of the strands in his hair fell down on one side of his face, covering an eye, and most people would think that it was an unusual way of styling hair; yet it was one thing out of many that you loved the most about him.
You accepted it years ago.
You accepted the fact that you somehow fell in love with Sanji Vinsmoke along your weird journey of working in a sea restaurant full of former pirates and making music while at it. How the pesky feelings grew and wrapped themselves around your aching heart, you didn't know. Maybe it was when he learned to cook your favorite food and gave it to you afterwards, or the way his crystal blue eyes reminded you of snowflakes every winter.
Or maybe it was when he pulled your hair out of jealousy the moment he learned that Zeff would be taking in another child in his care, but brushed it and even braided it after the latter cleared the misunderstanding. Maybe it was when he supported you in your dreams and told you they weren't silly, maybe it was when he fought off drunk men that were trying to hit on you. Or maybe it was the way his voice would drop an octave lower whenever he asks you for a favor. The list could go on and on and you still wouldn't know the reason why. It doesn't matter anyway. You tripped, you fell, and now you're pining.
Drying off the last of the plates, you washed your own hands after and patted them dry on your skirt. You were the last one to leave the kitchen, the other staff already back in their quarters after a long, exhausting day of cooking. You fixed the signature blue bandana tied in your hair then went on your way towards the upper deck.
You weren't blessed with a talent in cooking, so you offered to do chores instead. Washing the dishes, cleaning the restaurant, and doing the laundry were few of the things you do in the Baratie. You can't say that you enjoy it, but you were beyond grateful that Zeff gave you a chance despite his opposition to let a woman work inside his restaurant.
As you were about to go to the newly laundered clothes you hung on a thin wire earlier that morning, you heard two voices speaking. You also smelled cigarette smoke wafting through the air, and you only knew one person who could be smoking at this hour. Your breath hitched in anticipation.
"You bringing a woman to your bed again, Sanji?" The other person asked playfully, but there was a hint of disbelief in his voice. You carefully took a peek so you won't accidentally reveal yourself and be accused of eavesdropping. Two people came into view with their backs facing you.
"Now, what are you talking about, Patty? I am a gentleman. I only had a nice chat with the lovely lady and escorted her back to her ship." Sanji interjected, a cigarette hanging on his lips.
Patty huffed. "I didn't know that chatting included kiss marks on jawlines."
This caused Sanji to laugh and say, "Not my fault she was charmed by my food."
"The boss man ain't gonna like it when he finds out about this."
"He's not gonna find out." Sanji assured him, wiping off the said kiss mark on his jaw. You stared at him as he did so, and you pitied the woman who planted that kiss, knowing she was just one of the many beautiful ladies Sanji had flirted with before. However, a tinge of pain in your chest said otherwise, taunting you that it was not pity you're feeling, but foul jealousy.
"Why don't you look for more decent women, eh? How about 'little lass' for a change?" Patty suddenly suggested.
It was like someone had hit your stomach with one of the metal pans in the kitchen with the way it lurched in surprise and nervousness. Your heartbeat started to quicken the longer you waited for his response, making your grip on your skirt tighter. In moments like these, you allowed yourself to hope, to wish that he saw something in you and that he finds you beautiful and lovely enough to be the person standing by his side.
But his answer made all that hope crumble down into nothing but dust.
"I don't see her that way." Sanji said after a long stretch of silence, taking a long drag from the cigarette then releasing the smoke in a single breath.
Ah.
You blinked repeatedly, trying to keep the tears from forming. It's always been like this, so why can't you get used to it? Taking a deep breath, you gulped away the knot forming in your throat and decided to leave. You can grab the clothes later.
"You're too kind for him." Someone behind you spoke, making you jump and tense up. Turning around, you saw Zeff looking at you with an unreadable emotion in his eyes and his hands on his hips, almost like he knew your secret. Of course he does. He always sees everything.
You stumbled on your words. "Sir?"
"That boy is always up to something." He began, switching his attention to Sanji. "One minute he's stubbornly immature in the kitchen, and the next he'll be a thirsty man staring at women like they're liquid booze."
Clearing your throat, you forced a smile.
"Well, he can be a lot sometimes." You agreed, remembering the days when the two of you would fight over irrelevant matters. Then you chuckled and continued, "But he's kind. He's gentle, and lovely, like a freshly made poem you keep repeating in your head. But then he's also confusing, hot-headed, and reckless. He's like the sea, isn't he? Calm yet wrapped with mystery, dangerous yet beautiful..."
You trailed off, an unbearable heat rising up your cheeks and neck once you slowly began to realize that you just ranted out your feelings to the head chef. You glanced at him with wide eyes, preparing to see a disgusted look on his face; however, Zeff didn't appear to be repulsed by your little speech. In fact, the corners of his lips were slightly quirked up.
"But I cannot swim. If I were to drown, he wouldn't save me." You quickly added, hoping to shut down the topic.
He sighed. "You will meet someone who deserves you as much as you deserve them, little lass." He simply said. He then laid his hand out, and on his palm was a little box poorly tied with a ribbon. "Here, for you."
Altnough you were a bit confused at the random gift, you accepted it and cradled the box to your chest. "I'll be okay, Zeff." You insisted, grinning cheekily. "When I become famous, I'll sing my songs here in Baratie, and people would flood the restaurant to hear my singing. And to eat your food too, of course."
The head chef nodded, relief flooding his expression. "I look forward to that." He said while awkwardly returning your smile.
That night, when you were sure that everyone in the Baratie was asleep, you opened the loose floorboard on the floors of your bedroom and grabbed the wooden box you kept hidden for a long time now. You opened the lid and began counting the Berry you saved for the past few months.
Tomorrow was the perfect day to leave.
You just can't stay here. Yes, you had a roof over your head, delicious food to eat everyday, and clean clothes to wear but you were so miserable. This wasn't the life you wanted. You wish to go out there, sing your heart out, and fall in love with someone who actually loves you back.
A knock on your door made you freeze. You held your breath as the person on the other side continued to knock a few more times. "You awake?"
Pain surged through your veins, your chest twisting in agony. Sanji.
"You didn't come down for dinner. I guess you're too tired, hmm?" He said, his muffled voice gentle, and the sound almost prompted you to stand up and open the door for him. But you dug your fingernails in your palms and resisted, because you can't just let this opportunity pass by.
You heard a brief clinking sound before Sanji spoke again, "Sweet dreams, ange."
Once his footsteps faded away, you cautiously moved towards your door and opened it as quietly as you can. There, on the floor, was a small plate with a slice of your favorite desert: angel's food cake, topped with fresh cream and strawberries.
You bent down and saw a note beside the plate. And when you got to read the contents of the note, you burst into tears and sobs that wracked down your entire body.
Happy Birthday
— S.
You ate the cake with tears silently falling down your cheeks, and that was the first time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
Today was the day, and you won't allow anyone to ruin it for you.
You had saved enough Berries to travel around the world and sustain yourself for the upcoming months. Your notebook containing the lyrics of the songs you wrote laid open on top of your bed as you spent all night revising them while planning out an itinerary. Then you'll find a place to settle in, a stable job that required doing what you loved the most, and overall just be peaceful and free from pirates and chefs and pirate chefs. It was perfect.
Folded clothes surrounded you everywhere, ready to be packed in your bags. Once you finished stuffing them all in, you grabbed your treasured instrument, the one thing you couldn't live without: your guitar, which has been with you since you were a little child. It was given by your mother and you've been attached to it ever since.
It has scratches all over its wooden surface, and the strings needed some fixing occassionally, but you wouldn't trade it for the greatest treasures in the world. You ran your fingers over it, suddenly feeling like it was lacking something. Seeing the paint chipping off at the corners, you figured that it needed a little color.  You'll need lacquer, and paint if you managed to find some.
You set the guitar aside and left your bedroom to head downstairs to the kitchen. As you were about to push the doors open, a loud, angry shout made you stop in your tracks.
"I won't ever become a pathetic waiter for you!" Sanji's thunderous yells can be heard from outside. Your shoulders tensed up. It was a good thing that brunch was over and all the customers had left.
Zeff's own furious voice followed, "Leave then, for all I care! You can do anything you want, but don't you ever serve one of your shit dishes in my kitchen!"
A frown settled on your face. Their fights were a normal occurrence to you, but this one sounded more grave than usual. Crossing your arms, you stepped in closer to the entrance and hesitated whether you should go in or not. Before you could make a decision, Zeff beat you to it by pushing the doors open, rage emanating from his figure as he ignored and walked past you.
Without hesitation this time, you entered the kitchen, greeted by the sight of Sanji bowing over the counter, breathing heavily, his face covered with his hair. He didn't move an inch even as you approached him, the clacking of the heels in your boots echoing throughout the room.
Both of you were silent as you rummaged through cabinets, trying to find lacquer to cover your guitar with, while he tried his best to calm himself down after his outburst. Many cupboards later, you finally found a small can of used up lacquer, but as you started to reach for it, your hand completely stopped mid-air.
You looked over your shoulder, and found Sanji already recovered from the argument seeing that he was on the move again, preparing a cut of beef tenderloin and other ingredients he needed for tonight's dinner.
Slowly, you closed the cupboard and went closer to him. He still refused to look at you. And so you watched him place a bag of flour on the countertop, slices of cold butter, and a variety of spice bottles to season the meat with.
Sanji began to wrap twine around the beef tenderloin. You sighed, and before you could stop yourself, you grabbed a bowl and decided to help him. Your guitar can wait.
It was rare for you to cook inside the kitchen, having so little knowledge about food and how they were prepared, but you knew this recipe well. You poured two cups of flour through the sifter, followed by placing heaps of the cold butter in the mixture.
The moment you started to mix the dough for the puff pastry, Sanji quickly pointed out in a monotone voice, "You're adding too much butter."
You raised your head and glanced at him, his attention now on the meat he was searing on a skillet. You smiled, glad that he was speaking again.
"You're beginning to sound like the old man himself." You joked lightly.
His jaw clenched. "Don't compare me to that shitty geezer."
In a softer voice, you asked, "What happened?"
"The usual." He replied curtly. "Didn't approve of my dishes."
You perked up upon hearing about a dish he made himself. Sanji was talented when it comes to creating his own recipes, and sometimes, you would be the person he chooses to test them out. Every time he lets you taste them, your chest would feel warm and you wouldn't be able to sleep for days because you'll keep replaying it in your head. "What did you make this time?"
"It doesn't matter. He'll never agree to any of them."
"Maybe I can—"
"Drop it. Don't poke your nose in things you're not involved." Sanji cut you off, his hardened gaze meeting your concerned stare. You only blinked at him, straightening up.
"I see." You muttered, eyes landing on the bag of flour. You looked at him, then at the flour, then back at him. A smile began to form on your lips as a devious plan formulated itself in your brain. Sticking your hand inside the bag of flour, you took a fistful of the pillowy powder and threw it straight into his face.
Sanji jumped back, flinching and closing his eyes when some of the flour's particles managed to enter them. His jaw dropped open in surprise, hands quickly removing themselves from the skillet's handle to dust off the flour that rested on his now white hair. You tried to stifle a laugh as you watched him struggle getting the flour out.
Once he managed to clean himself, he stared straight at you and said in the calmest way possible, even if you knew deep inside that he was fuming, "What was that for?"
A high-pitched snort left your mouth. You covered it to prevent yourself from laughing.
You cleared your throat and smiled at him innocently. "Am I involved now?"
His piercing blue eyes then started to sparkle with mirth, amusement replacing the vexation previously swimming in them. He also looked to be trying to push down a smile, and that made your heart skip a beat. "You're insufferable."
He reached for the bag of flour. You squeaked and took off running, trying to escape from his attack, but he still managed to throw a small amount on you. Giggling, you ran the opposite direction to confuse him, and yet he caught up with you, throwing another round of flour. This time, it hit your cheeks, making you laugh loudly. He laughed along, pointing a finger at you because you probably looked crazy at the moment.
You tried to take the bag of flour away from him, but he just took it an as opportunity to catch your arm and grip it firmly. He pulled you into his chest, caging you completely.
With your cheeks warm and your breaths short, you tilted your head up and looked at him, noticing the way that you were both covered in flour; and not only that, you also noticed the short distance between your bodies and how your noses were almost touching. His pupils were dilated, black dominating the alluring blue shade that kept haunting your dreams. You drank in the attention he was giving you, the breathing coming out from his soft lips, and the comfortable silence that wrapped around the both of you like a safe little bubble.
"Caught you." Sanji muttered, voice deeper and huskier, making you let out a quiet sigh. His arms snaked around your waist as he leaned in closer. A million questions started to run inside your head, begging to know what this situation was and how you got into it. "Nowhere to run now, darling."
A slamming of doors shattered the secret moment you shared, and you immediately pulled away from each other. You pushed down your disappointment and hid it in the secret crevice in your heart as the two of you faced your intruder.
Zeff observed your flour-laden figures, his thick eyebrows scrunched together in irritation. He then demanded, voice seething and dripping with anger, "What in the hell are you two little brats doing?"
Sanji blurted out in defense, "Zeff, we—she was the one who started it!"
"And you went along with it!" You accused incredulously, grinning from ear-to-ear. Sanji grinned back, shaking his head and biting his lower lip.
"Oh, shut up before I stitch your mouths! Just by looking at you two, I already know that you snot-nosed shits are both at fault!" Zeff shouted, clicking his tongue at the sight of the half emptied flour. "Wasted them good flour for your childish fights. You're even worse than fatwits. Get out and clean the toilets!"
"Not the shitty toilets!" Sanji groaned, and you couldn't blame him for it. The bathroom area smelled revolting and the floors were always wet for some reason.
"I don't wanna hear complaints from you when you've dirtied my kitchen! Off you go!" Zeff dismissed, and you can't help but to laugh again when you saw Sanji pout like a little kid.
The head chef watched the two of you leave the kitchen together while giggling and exchanging fond looks. Patty, who also saw the whole situation unfold, suddenly appeared beside him, snickering, "I can already hear the wedding bells ringing."
Zeff took a deep, tired breath.
"Oh, they're ringing alright."
You cleaned and scrubbed the toilets the entire afternoon with the man you're in love with, flushing your plans down the drain and forgetting all about them, and that was the second time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
You didn't know how you ended up in a ship full of pirates.
Well, maybe you knew. A little. But it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Your knuckles were beginning to turn white with how tight you were clenching them. A mix of emotions swirled around in your chest, namely confusion, impatience, and hesitation, pondering about whether you should be irritated at yourself or at Sanji.
The opportunity was there, handed to you like a steak on a golden platter, or a miracle that suddenly fell from the sky. The day you met Luffy and his strange pirate crew was the day you immediately realized that he was the key to your exit from the Baratie. He was friendly; a good pirate, according to his own words, so you figured he would allow you to tag along for a while until you find an island to get off to. You just had to ask for his permission and wait for his reply.
Luffy agreed. And you were ecstatic. You were finally going to leave Sanji Vinsmoke and your pathetic, unrequited feelings behind.
Or so you thought.
You watched in horror as he followed you when you boarded the Going Merry, also carrying a bag of his own. He said something along the lines of Luffy needing a cook for the journey to the Grand Line but you couldn't care less. You got here first. Why was he here?
So here you were, sitting in a corner, lonelier than ever and regretting your life decisions. You watched Luffy and his friends celebrate after defeating the pirate Arlong and saving Coco Village from his inhuman hold over its people, but Sanji and the beautiful orange haired Nami were nowhere in sight.
The thought of them being gone together at the same time left a bitter aftertaste on your tongue.
Nami. The first time you laid eyes on her, ethereal was the word that came up to your mind. With soft deep saffron locks that framed her small face and a wide blue eyed gaze, she would have the cruelest of men begging for mercy and affection at her feet.
Unfortunately, Sanji was one of those men.
Fuck, you cursed mentally, rubbing your face with your hands to try and forget about the times he flirted with her and the moments he wouldn't stop talking about her or kept asking about her favorite food or dessert or if she's into blonds. Your already battered heart doesn't need the usual reminder that he'll never see you that way, that you weren't going to experience his sweet words and his loving gazes.
You took a sharp breath. It's okay, you tell yourself over and over again until they were buried in your heart. They'll make a great pair, Sanji the cook and Nami the thief. A strong man with an equally strong woman. Yes. That makes sense.
You'll leave soon anyway, and you'll no longer have to worry about seeing them or how they were going to end up together.
And yet you can't help but to think about the things that could've been if you were the one he was in love with instead.
You were crossing your arms and hugging yourself as the crisp afternoon air was getting chilly when a hand gripping a shot glass filled with amber liquid appeared in front of you. Looking up, you saw Luffy smiling widely at you, waving the glass encouragingly.
"Come on, just one drink! Usopp poured this for you!" The captain exclaimed heartily, obviously trying to uplift your spirits and to make you feel welcomed in his crew, even though you did nothing but to guard the Going Merry while they were fighting for their lives.
You shook your head and smiled politely. "No, I don't drink. Sorry."
Luffy's smile faltered, but he recovered quickly. He nodded, setting the glass down on top of a barrel. "Well, okay." He said, then turned to Usopp, who was currently downing a whole bottle of whiskey. "Hey, where's Nami?"
"Oh, she's with the cook," Usopp replied cheekily, wiping his mouth after drinking. There was a teasing tone in his voice as he continued, "Someone's getting a boyfriend tonight!"
With that said, you reached for the shot glass that Luffy was offering you earlier, grabbed it swiftly, and poured the whole thing down your throat. The whiskey tasted unfamiliar, and it burned and made you dizzy at first taste, but it doesn't matter; as long as it can make you forget just for a little while, you were willing to drink more of the horrible beverage.
Zoro, the green haired swordsman and the captain's first mate, stared at you as if you had lost your mind, but a tinge of concern was visibly written on his face. "Woah, slow down." He warned sternly.
"I thought you didn't drink." Was all Luffy said, blinking in confusion. You chuckled tiredly.
"Now I do."
Drink after drink, glass after glass. You lost count on how many times Usopp poured whiskey for you, or how many times Zoro shook his head in disbelief. Luffy was the same old happy-go-lucky captain throughout the disaster that was starting to brew inside you, turning your brain into mush. You can barely lift your head or your fingers as you asked for another shot in an incoherent voice. Luckily, Usopp was still able to understand you, tipping the whiskey bottle yet again towards your glass.
You started to raise the glass to your lips, eager to just get severely drunk and be over with it already. However, you suddenly felt strong fingers wrap around your wrist to stop you from drinking; and when you caught sight of a familiar silver ring with Baratie's jolly roger inlaid upon it, you didn't need to look up to know who it was.
Sanji's voice was unnervingly calm as he questioned the crew, but the slight shake in his words lets you know otherwise. "Which one of you allowed her to drink?"
"No one. She took the glass and made the decision herself." Zoro drawled, challenging the chef, "The last time I checked, waiter, you were supposed to be the one responsible for her."
Sanji ignored him and turned his attention to you. He stole the shot glass away from you, then kneeled and held your hands comfortingly, smiling. "Come on, ange. It's time for you to rest now." He said quietly, yet loud enough for only you to hear.
You stubbornly shook your head repeatedly and whined loudly. "No! Don't touch me!" You cried, prying your hands away from his, "I don't like you...!"
Zoro huffed in amusement at your declaration. Sanji glared at him for a short second before looking at you again. This time, he stood and gently placed his arms under your shoulders to raise you up. Once you were standing on your feet, he swept you up and carried you bridal style with ease. Another whine escaped your lips.
"Put me down! I want another drink, please, just one more!" You pleaded while throwing weak punches on his chest. Sanji only smiled and began to lead you towards the sleeping quarters. You continued to thrash in his arms as he walked slowly and in small steps so he wouldn't drop you.
Sanji carefully set you down on your hammock. "No drinks for you until you actually learn how to take them." He told you, tucking a stray piece of your hair behind your ear. His thumb caressed the soft skin of your cheek and rubbed it in circles, noting how fast you were heating up due to the alcohol. You pouted.
"Pretty please, Sanji...please..."
He chuckled, staring at you intensely. "Maybe some other time, ange."
You went quiet, staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. Then, you crossed your arms like a child and asked, "Why do you keep calling me that?"
Sanji raised a brow. "Call you what? Ange?"
You nodded. "I don't like it."
He began to smile, the dimples on his cheeks appearing. You briefly wondered if he'd allow you to poke and feel them. "Why?"
"I don't know what it means. Is it an insult?" You wondered aloud, your eyes widening in curiosity.
A hearty and warm laugh came out from Sanji, his eyes forming half-moons as he cackled at your words like they were the biggest joke he heard in his entire life, "Oh, my dear girl, how could I possibly insult you?" He managed to speak between laughs, "It means angel. You're an angel, to me at least. My angel."
Oh.
Your lips parted in surprise. Blinking, you simply said, "You're not Sanji."
He's not Sanji. He wouldn't call you angel; you're not even sure if he found you beautiful or attractive. You wear the same old tattered dresses that Zeff bought for you a long time ago, and you didn't even bother to style your hair or put on face powder like all the other beautiful ladies do. You look nowhere near to an angel.
But Sanji only grinned. "I assure you, I am very much Sanji. The little brat who pulled your hair when we were barely eleven years old."
Your breath hitched at the thought of him remembering one of your fond memories in your childhood. "You remembered."
"Of course I remembered." He whispered, cupping your cheek one last time before he got ready to leave. He turned on his heel and was about to walk away when you spoke.
"Are you going to see her again?" You asked, and he quickly noticed how broken your voice sounded. Sanji faced you in concern and was taken aback with how deep you were frowning. He figured that you were just drunk and women tend to be different when they were intoxicated. You were no exception to that, it seemed.
"Hm?" He hummed, prompting you to elaborate further.
Tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. You shakily mumbled, "Nami...you're going to Nami, aren't you?"
Sanji froze, an icy cold rush filling up his body. A knot formed in his throat, and it continued to tighten the longer he stared at your face. You looked so hurt—like he just destroyed your beloved guitar into pieces. Your lower lips were trembling, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. For a moment, he couldn't find the courage to answer you, feeling like he could die at any second now if he answers your question.
But the answer was simple.
"Yes." He breathed out, a sharp pain stabbing through his heart.
And it only became worse when a teardrop finally rolled down your cheek. "Why?" You rasped, and Sanji didn't know that a single word can hurt this much.
He tried to give you a reassuring smile but awfully failed to do so. He started to explain, "We were just discussing something—"
"Why not me?"
Those three words coming out of your mouth felt like a final blow to his heart. He can feel himself bleed, drained of life and soul because of you and your words alone, and he let you. He let you kill him, he let you make him swim in his own guilt and he doesn't why, why, why.
More tears fell out of your angelic eyes, staining your cheeks with wet trails, and he tried to hold himself back from wiping them off. You choked out, "Why not me, Sanji? I have been asking myself that question for the past decade, and it eats my brain every night like some kind of plague, but I let it anyway. Because why? Why can't you just recognize me and appreciate me and see me? Why can't you go to me if you want to talk about your dreams, or what dish you're planning to create? Why do you have to seek solace in other women when you have me standing by your side everyday, me who is willing to listen to you and whatever you have to say?"
Angry, red rimmed eyes glared at him. Your hair strands stuck to your skin and framed your face as sweat began to form on your forehead. Teardrops clung to your wet eyelashes and your face was drenched like you just took a swim in the ocean. You were burning with fury and rage and want, struggling to breathe properly after your little rant, and Sanji thought you couldn't be more beautiful. You were so beautiful.
"Oh but I couldn't blame you for that. She's just so beautiful, so perfect, and so strong. She could give you anything you wanted and she could be anything that I never was." You hiccuped, smiling forcibly, "But in the end...I will still love you. I will always love you. I think."
You scooted closer to him, leaning in until your faces only had a few inches apart between them. You didn't notice how his lips were slightly parted in shock, nor his eyes that were starting to glisten with his own tears. "No matter where I flee to, or where I lay my heart on, or which skies I look at—it's always you, Sanji. It's always been you."
"I had been so selfless all these years, Sanji. So please, can you pretend to like me too, just for today, before I leave?" You whispered meekly, cupping his cheeks with both of your hands. Numb and completely speechless, Sanji simply gave you a single nod as a response.
You gingerly pressed your lips against his, and he immediately tasted the saltiness of your tears. But your lips were soft, as he expected from an angel like you. And so he couldn't help himself; he closed his eyes and delicately kissed you back, repeating your name in his mind like a sacred prayer and wishing to the stars above to not let the moment end.
However, you broke the kiss by losing consciousness and falling down on your hammock, knocked out and peacefully snoring.
Sanji spaced out, not moving from his position. No. It's not that he didn't want to move—he couldn't move. He couldn't feel anything except for the drumming of his heart, knocking on his chest desperately. His lips were still tingling and his ears and neck were warming up.
He gulped, loosening the collar of his shirt to cool himself down. He needed a cigarette. And a drink.
Scrambling to get up even with his trembling legs, Sanji managed to stand properly. He avoided your sleeping figure and decided to get out of the room as soon as possible. However, when he took a step forward, his foot touched a notebook lying on the floor.
Sanji bent down and took the notebook. He flipped it open, and after reading only the first page, he finally came into a conclusion.
Heartbroken, drunk, and unaware, you dozed off the rest of the afternoon. When nightfall settled on the azure horizon and dusk fell on the rough surface of the sea, you missed the chance to walk away from the crew yet again; and that was the third time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
The next morning, you woke up feeling much better with only the memory of you drinking and crying yourself to sleep and nothing else. Everything was normal, and the crew began to make plans for their next adventure during breakfast.
Everything was normal, except for Sanji, who was quiet throughout the whole discussion. And of course, just like always, you were the only one who noticed his strange behavior. You tried to catch his eyes, but he looked at everywhere except you.
When he finally met your gaze, you gave him a soft smile, hoping he would smile back and everything was fine and you were just overthinking it.
He doesn't.
⸻ • ⸻
"Are you really going to leave?"
Taking your gaze away from the heart shaped cloud you spotted on the clear blue sky, you faced the person who asked the question you were dreading for some time now. Luffy was staring curiously at you, awaiting your answer. You can't help but to smile softly at the captain, whose kindness you have yet to repay.
"I believe we already talked about this, captain." You said, recalling your short conversation last night. He kept asking you if you were really sure about your decision while his eyes darted to a certain blond haired chef every time he shoots you the question. It was strange, and you felt even more suspicious when Sanji pretended not to hear your answer and even refused to glance your way.
Luffy put his hands on his hips. "You know, you're welcome to stay and be a part of my crew."
You crossed your arms, smile growing wide. "And what, pray tell, is my role? Sing battle songs and chant your names while you swing your gummy arms at pirates?" You joked playfully.
The young captain stroked his chin in deep thought, almost like he was considering your suggestion. "That's not a bad idea."
You bursted out laughing, shaking your head in disbelief, "I'll leave first thing in the morning. I told Nami to dock at a nearby island."
"What about Sanji?" He suddenly questioned, leaving you flabbergasted for a split second. You weren't prepared to hear Sanji's name after days of not talking to him properly.
Him not speaking with you wasn't a strange occurence at all; back when you were still in the Baratie, there would be days when Sanji wouldn't bother to acknowledge your presence and would completely ignore you. This would happen whenever he was extremely busy with his cooking or he had a disagreement with Zeff.
And it seemed like this was one of those days, seeing that he had been ignoring you for about a week now. Yes, you have been keeping count. Although he doesn't appear to be angry with you, the short-lived exchanges and the abrupt cut-offs before you could say anything deeply concerned you more than it should have.
You tried to rack your brains for reasons on why he was acting like this. Maybe Nami had rejected him for the hundredth time, or Zoro kept throwing insults in his direction—or maybe his cigarette packet had ran out. Maybe his kitchen knives weren't sharp anymore and he was struggling in the kitchen.
Should you ask him? Should you go to him and demand him to tell you what's wrong?
You pressed your lips together. It sounded like the worst idea you've thought of so far. You convinced yourself that Sanji was fine and he'd be back to normal in no time; there would no need to talk to him.
"What about him?" You faltered, chuckling to ease the tension in your body.
"You care for each other." Luffy explained bluntly and matter-of-factly, "What does he think about you leaving?"
A shaky sigh made its way out of your lips. How will you tell the captain that his cook has been avoiding you like you were some kind of rotten fish these days?
"I..." You stammered, gathering the courage to lie to Luffy even if you thought it would be the gravest sin you could commit, "He...agrees. Yeah. No need to worry."
Luffy grinned, but it didn't look normal at all. You winced in embarrassment. He knew that you were lying and was totally unconvinced.
Luckily, he didn't voice it out. He only nodded and said, "Great! Oh, I have an idea! Why don't you sing for us before we part ways? Think of it as a farewell party for the crew."
Hearing the pure and genuine excitement dripping from his voice, you couldn't turn him down. It was a good idea too, and now that you thought about it, you haven't performed for them yet. "Sure." You agreed, shrugging.
He raised his fist up in the air and cheered. You smiled, watching as he shouted for his crewmates' names to come down and listen to you sing. You prepared yourself for an impromptu performance, making sure that your guitar was properly tuned and your voice was clear enough to give you the best version of your singing. Sitting on top of a barrel, you faced your audience of four, all their eager eyes watching your every move.
As you struck the first chord to your song, you tried hard not to think that Sanji wasn't there to watch you sing the song you secretly dedicate to him.
In the kitchen, Sanji busied himself by plating the food that he'll serve to his fellow crew mates for dinner. He grabbed a large plate and placed the chicken drumsticks that his captain favored, but Luffy wasn't the one in his mind when he cooked those. Looking at the food, he wondered if you would love them too.
He shook his thoughts off and took the plate with him outside. Approaching the crew, his steps slowed down when he heard a familiar singing voice and a melodic tune of a guitar.
Sanji almost dropped the plate.
It was you. Of course it was you, you were the only one he knew who had a voice like that. It was you, and you were singing with a lovely smile painted on your sweet lips, the very same lips that touched his a few days ago, resulting in him not getting a wink of sleep every night. The beam of the sunset right behind you colored your hair in the different shades of the sky as the dulcet-filled notes you made echoed throughout the vast sea. For a moment, he was worried that you were going to attract ferocious sea beasts with your angelic voice and steal you away from him.
He could hear his blood pound in his ears the longer he observed you from afar. You looked happy. Happier than you were when you stayed with him and Zeff. His chest tightened, knowing that you leaving and go on adventures on your own was probably the best decision you could make, even if that means leaving him too.
You were finishing up your song by the time you saw Sanji standing behind Usopp, silently listening. He met your gaze, and for the first time ever, you couldn't read his mind. His expression was blank as you stared at each other, and as you opened your mouth to say something, he cut you off.
"Dinner's ready." Sanji announced shortly, setting down the plate in front of Luffy and then walked away without saying another word.
That was your final straw. You immediately put down your guitar and followed him into the kitchen. You didn't care about how you felt Nami's watchful eyes on you as you went after him, nor how Luffy was scarfing down the dinner and was definitely going to finish it all before you could take a bite; you just chased the blond with determination oozing out of you.
You roughly pushed the door open and found Sanji washing the pans he used for cooking. He glanced at you briefly then quickly looked away after. This irritated you even more as you demanded, "Is there something bothering you?"
"You should eat before the food gets cold." He said with an empty voice.
"Sanji!"
He stiffened. You rarely raised your voice at anyone. Sighing in defeat, he dried off his hands and fully faced you.
Your eyes were sharper than his knives, cutting straight into his soul. "I've known you for a long time now, do you think I don't notice whenever you have a problem?" You glowered, taking a step closer to him, "You have a problem. What is it?"
It happened fast. His hand landed on the small of your back and pulled you to his chest, and the other was placed on top of your cheek, and in a single motion, Sanji captured your lips with his. You gasped in the kiss, your heart dropping to the soles of your feet when he tilted his face to deepen it. Your fingers tightly grasped the sleeves of his shirt for support as he passionately moved his lips against yours. A pleasant heat ran down your spine, your whole body tingling and warming up. You were simply drowning. There was no other way to describe it, and it was only caused by his fervent kisses.
Sanji pulled away, resting your forehead on top of yours, and you took it as an opportunity to breathe in air that you lost. "You are the problem." He murmured lowly, eyes darting down to your swollen lips. Confused and lightheaded, you didn't get the chance to retort.
"Ever since that night, ange, you occupy my thoughts. You gave me a taste of your lips and you didn't even remember the next day. Do you know how that feels, hm?" He said, pecking your lips once again. You made a noise in the back of your throat, turning your head sideways so he couldn't kiss you anymore, but he took your chin and hungrily connected both of your lips.
He spoke between kisses, "You torture me. Ever since I read those songs you wrote about me in that little notebook of yours, you torture me with your presence."
That was when you snapped out of your daze. With all the force you could muster, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him away. Sanji stepped back, surprised at your reaction.
Without giving him a chance to ask you anything, you ran off and left the kitchen, slamming the door loudly so you wouldn't hear him calling your name and be tempted to go back in his arms again.
You arrived in the sleeping quarters, locking the door behind you. You were sure that the others would understand you needing your alone time. Once you made sure you were on your own, your body collapsed altogether, your back sliding down against the door as you panted heavily.
He knows, was all you could think about. He knows about the songs. He knows about your feelings.
Well, you finally got your answer to your previous question, but a more complicated one replaced it. With trembling hands, your fingers raised themselves to your lips, touching its surface. You hated the way that you still felt his warmth on top of them.
A lone tear slid down the side of your nose. He was cruel. Sanji was cruel.
You didn't come out of that room for days, refusing to talk to anyone as you gathered your scrambled throughts and pulled yourself back together, and that was the fourth time you failed to leave Sanji Vinsmoke.
⸻ • ⸻
A stack of books, most of them being a collection of maps compiled in one, rested beside you while you flipped through the pages of the one you chose among them.
Nami has been lending you her books ever since you shut yourself out from the crew. You ignored all of them and only let Nami in, hoping that she'll be able to understand you; and she did. She was a good listener. Although you weren't particularly close with each other, you trusted her and told her everything: your dreams, your problems, your feelings, and Sanji. In return, she confided in you too.
"Here. So you can finally decide on where you will go to," You recall her saying while she handed you her collection of world map books, "and to distract yourself, of course."
"You're too kind, Nami." You said in admiration. Maybe this is why Sanji was enamored with her. She was a beauty inside and out.
Nami shrugged, yet she was smiling. "Just helping a fellow woman out."
The books did take your mind off the stubborn blond haired man that was still resting inside your heart, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. You tried to search for islands that will be suitable for you to start your career, narrowing some of them down into choices, but your eyes wil always lead back to where the Baratie was stationed.
You leaned back against your chair, letting your head hit the wall with a soft thud as you released a sigh of frustration. Not only will you need to prepare yourself for a journey all alone, but you also have to talk to Sanji sooner or later, whether you like it or not. The kiss distracted you more than the books Nami gave you. You think of it in the morning and dream of it at night, and it only got worse every time you remembered that he kissed you like he loved you.
Relaxing in your seat, you closed the book and listened to the silence.
The Going Merry docked for a quick trip to a market to gather fresh ingredients for food. Sanji will be gone for the meantime and you were free to roam around the ship without his heated stare boring holes in your skin.
But the peace was ruined by rushed footsteps and Usopp breaking into the room, almost destroying the door with his brute force. You frowned, standing up on alert when you saw how nervous he looked.
"Sanji's injured!" He exclaimed, which got your brow raising, knowing that he had a long history of lying to people. However, he forcibly pulled Sanji inside, and you were greeted by the sight of a bruised man, whose lips were bleeding and cheeks were starting to yellow.
You immediately sprang into action. You took the first aid kit you packed in your bag and grabbed his arm, making him sit down on your chair.
"How did you get into a fight in just a span of ten minutes?" You asked in irritation, wetting a cloth with saltwater to wipe off the blood on his lips.
Sanji grunted, tensing up when you took a hold of his face and dabbed on his lip using the cloth. "Some petty vendor was selling overpriced onions, and they weren't even the best of quality."
You stopped for a minute, glaring at him. "So you decided to punch them instead of talking it over?"
He only huffed in reply. Pursing your lips in annoyance, you continued to treat his wounds in silence, noticing him flinching and wincing in pain whenever you compress the bruised area with ice. "Who's being petty now?" You scolded impatiently, "Stay still."
The only sound that filled the room was you hastily rummaging your kit trying to find an ointment and an awkward silence that made you want to jump into the sea and never swim back to the surface. You unscrewed the lid of the jar of ointment and scooped some with your finger, looking at Sanji as you did so. He looked back at you quietly, and you tried hard not to think about the fact that you have to touch his lips in order for you to apply it.
It seemed like he realized that too, glancing down at the dollop of ointment on top of your finger, then back to you. You just gave him a small, uneasy smile, showing him that you weren't uncomfortable even though you were, and shyly took a step forward.
As gently as you could, you spread the ointment on the wounded area on his lips, reminding yourself to not be distracted on how soft they looked.
"A busted lip because of overpriced ingredients...it almost feels like you're doing this on purpose so I wouldn't get the chance to leave you." You half-heartedly joked to lighten up the atmosphere. However, you were greeted by nothing, not even a smart comeback or a funny joke from the blond. You hesitantly observed his reaction, and saw that he was grim and serious, guilt swimming in his beryl blue eyes.
The realization began to sink in.
Oh.
You should've known from the start. Sanji was a great fighter; he wouldn't be injured in the first place. "Sanji..."
Sanji took your wrist and held on it tightly. Your breath hitched, only then realizing how much you missed his touch, his warm, gentle, and loving touch.
"Let me go." You weakly said, even though deep down, you didn't want him to.
"Tell me you're not in love with me." He said, sounding utterly desperate that it almost made you fall down to your knees, "Tell me, and I'll let you go."
When you didn't answer, he stood up and cupped your cheeks with both of his hands. He pleaded, "Look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me."
"Please don't do this." You whispered in pain as you tearfully shook your head.
"Stay. Please, stay." Sanji begged, pressing his forehead against yours, "What can I do to make you stay? Tell me. I'll do anything. Do I need to kneel? To beg for your forgiveness? Tell me what you want. I'll do anything in my power to make you the happiest woman in all of East Blue. Just please, don't leave."
"I can't." You answered, closing your eyes, a few tears streaming down your cheeks. You hate the way he was making this so hard for you.
He only continued, "Hate me, curse me, shout at me, if you must. Anything but you leaving me. Or do you want to make me yours? Then I am letting you. Whatever you want, mon ange—my heart, my soul, my attention, they're all yours. I'm all yours."
"No..."
"The crew will be incomplete without you." Sanji insisted in anguish.
"I have dreams, Sanji. Just like you and the rest of the crew." You explained softly, placing your own hands on top of his in attempt to comfort him and relieve him from his confusion.
However, he was persistent, "You can achieve your dreams without leaving. You can stay, and I will support you in everything you do. You're better off staying with me—with us."
You said firmly, "I will not spend the rest of my life doing what I don't want."
"Even with me by your side?"
A few second pass before you finally reply, "I'd be miserable."
Pain flashed on his face, making you want to take back your own words, yet you remained strong and unyielding. Sanji took a deep breath and stepped away from you, saying, "I'd rather have you miserable here than go out there and encounter ruthless pirates."
The statement quickly irritated you, frowning at him deeply. "You think I'll have problems with pirates when I've been serving them for years?"
"Oh, darling, you wouldn't be able to say that once you've encountered worse ones, with bounties higher than you could ever imagine." He snapped, voice raising with each word.
"I can manage on my own!" You bit back frustratingly, your tears evaporating into anger.
Sanji scowled at you, impatiently running his fingers through his hair. "You can't fight!" He shouted, voice breaking in the process, and with it, your heart too. It shattered like glass and the shards landed and pierced through your lungs, rendering you breathless. Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open in shock.
Seeing your expression, he immediately snapped back to reality, regret writing itself on his face. You shook your head in disbelief and let out a humorless laugh, "Are you telling me that I'm weak?"
"I didn't say that." Sanji quickly said in a hushed manner.
"But you're implying it!" You choked, still can't believe that he doesn't trust you. He doesn't trust you enough to accomplish your dreams on your own, and that he was not confident that you'll succeed without him by your side.
You wanted to ask him about the passionate kiss you two shared, about his loving gestures that confused the hell out of you, about his fresh bruises that he received on purpose so that he can get you to stay, and why he did all of that. You needed confirmation. But the question that left you was, "What am I to you?"
Sanji stayed quiet, and your heart broke again once more. Deciding that this was the last time he breaks it, you walked away and left him alone to tend to his own injuries.
He lit up a cigarette as he listened to your fading footsteps. A single teardrop fell down from his eye the moment he placed the cigarette between his lips, and all he could think about was that you hurt more than the bruises on his cheeks.
You packed your bags and spoke with Nami, telling her that you were ready, and that was the fifth time you tried to leave Sanji Vinsmoke—and tomorrow, you'll finally succeed.
⸻ • ⸻
The sun had just risen, and the early morning breeze smelled of the ocean, the calming sound of waves filling your ears. It was one of those days when the sky was clear and the sunlight wasn't harsh but pleasantly warm on your skin, making it the perfect day to start working on a new song and strum on your guitar for the melody.
But today was different. You were standing on the first step of the ship's staircase that leads to a docking station and a wooden walkway towards an unfamiliar island that was soon to be your new home. Your fingers clenched on the strap of your bag, finding this moment to be surreal. You have tried many times to leave, and here it was, right on the palms of your hands.
"So. This is it, huh?" Your trance broke as Nami commented beside you. She was the only one to bid you farewell and watch you leave, since the others were still asleep. You thought of Sanji and how he looked like when he was sleeping, staring at his handsome features so you can memorize them and implant it in your mind. He was your first love; you didn't want to forget him.
You smiled. "Thank you, Nami." You said earnestly, "I would've liked to spend more time with you. It's tiring to speak to men sometimes, don't you think?"
She laughed. "Yeah." Then, she caged you in her arms and hugged you tightly, surprising you for a second before you laughed too and returned the hug. "Stay safe out there."
"I will."
"So you planned to leave? Without saying goodbye?" A new voice interrupted, breaking the hug you and Nami both shared. You swiveled to look behind you, and there stood Sanji, appearing to have just woken up, with the strands of his blond hair sticking up in different directions. You observed his dejected expression, the downward tilt of the corners of his lips, and the glistening of his tired eyes. You stared at his crumpled suit and his crooked necktie. Despite how messy he looked, he will always be perfect to you.
You walked forward and looked at him fondly, with your eyes full of so much love reserved for him and him only. "Thought it would hurt less." You said, raising your hands to touch his hair and brush it down, "And I was right. How can I leave now when you're standing in front of me?"
He sighed shakily as he felt your soft fingers threading through his hair. "Then don't." He whispered. You only smiled at him. He didn't smile back, but that didn't stop you from taking both of his hands and caressing his knuckles using your thumb.
"Every night, I'll look at the moon and think of you. I'll tell my stories, sing my songs, and whisper my secrets to it. Just like what you and me would do when we were little." You told him softly and endearingly, "Would you be so kind as to look at the moon too and think of me?"
Sanji's eyebrows were scrunched together in agony, muttering, "I can't make you stay, can I?"
When you didn't answer, he just nodded his head, understanding what you wanted to stay. He forced a smile and tightly squeezed your hands. "I'm sorry."
"I'm yours." You answered, placing a soft kiss on the back of his hands. After letting your lips linger on his skin for a while, you slowly let go, and with one last glance at his face, you stepped back and made your way downstairs to the docking area, leaving before you could change your mind.
Sanji watched you go. While you walked away from the Going Merry, from the crew, and from him, not once did you look back. He just watched as you went farther away and became smaller in the distance, until you blended in with the crowd and you were just another person in a sea of people. And then you were gone.
It was the sixth time you tried to leave Sanji Vinsmoke, and this time, you finally did.
⸻ • ⸻
The red velvet curtains began to draw in front of you, gently falling back down on the stage as you said your final good-byes to your audience for tonight, a bouquet of roses cradled in your arms while you blew delicate kisses towards them. You can still hear their loud cheering and clapping even as you retreated to your personal room backstage.
A middle-aged woman greeted you inside when you stepped in the room and closed the door behind you, whistling. "There she is, our talented rising star!"
You only laughed at the silly nickname, setting the bouquet of roses that one of the people gave you in tonight's show on top of your vanity table. "You exaggerate, Madam. I have only performed two shows in your beautiful theater."
The madam, who was the owner of the theater you were currently working in, shook her head in disagreement. "And those two shows are sold out!" She informed you proudly, placing her hands on your shoulders, "Let me know if you want to add more, you are welcome to perform here anytime."
"I'll think about it." You replied, smiling. The madam patted your shoulder twice before she left you alone, humming happily to herself. You huffed in amusement, fully aware that she doesn't appreciate your talents at all, but only cared for the money.
Regardless of that, you were happy. It has been a couple of years since you left the Strawhat Pirates and pursued your dreams all on your own, and you've been traveling to different islands across the seas to perform. You never had a permanent home; being a musician meant going to many places from time to time to share and spread out your music.
Yet you can't help but miss life on the sea.
You missed washing dishes on the Baratie and the late night conversations you had with Zeff. You missed Luffy and his weird antics, Usopp and his jokes, Zoro and his blunt comments, and Nami and her kindness.
You missed Sanji and everything that he was.
You stared at your reflection in the vanity mirror on your desk. Your hair was pinned neatly, you had make-up on and you were dressed fancily for your performance. Years ago, you wouldn't look like this. It was hard to believe how much you've grown and changed, but these days, you felt like you wanted your old self back. Slowly, you took the itchy pins off your hair, and cleaned your face with warm water and a cloth. You replaced your dress in a more comfortable one and went outside.
Looking up at the night sky, you saw a bright full moon with no stars in sight. It was just the moon and its beauty, illuminating the pitch black sky with its glow. You silently watched it, a smile growing on your lips as you felt a tug on your heart.
"I wonder what you're up to, Sanji." You thought aloud, cheeks heating up at the memory of your first love and his golden hair and his contagious smiles. Then, to your surprise, a voice spoke unexpectedly.
"Well, I am fortuitous to have met such a beautiful angel."
You froze. No one referred to you as angel except for one.
Sanji.
As you turned around, he was already walking towards you. And there you both were, bathing under the moonlight, with him grinning at you mischievously and you looking at him lovingly.  You didn't know how he found you, but what mattered was that he searched for you and now he was here, and he was still making your heart beat fast in your chest just like all those years ago.
How the pesky feelings stayed and wrapped themselves around your aching heart, you didn't know. But maybe it was because he was standing in front of you, and the way his next words made you run into his open arms and kiss him until you were both breathless,
"There you are, ange."
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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ain soph aur brainrot
#🌙.rambles#it is 4 am after a long good but tiring day n my mind is a mess pardon my rambles for the night#i am thinking a lot. but at the same time also not at all. BUT but one certain thought rn while i'm listening to ain soph aur#I'M THINKING OF LUCIFER OH MY GODDDD. PAIN. I LOVE HIM. i love the lyrics so much. oh my god#thinking about it n i have loved angels for a very long time#ok confession when i was a kid i used to be somewhat religious bcs catholic school sob n my mom is too#not devout but she believes in god so yeah. n i was a good girl! i would believe in god too n all n#i found the bible interesting imho but mostly the old testament n uhhh#as i grew up my beliefs changed bcs i honestly don't believe in any god. if you do believe in god then oh that's good for you! i don't mind#i respect it but it ain't for me. because if there's a god out there then they must hate me then#i'm just not fond of religious people that. are too dependent on god. like please goddamn no#i much prefer to rely on hard work and believe in my own self than luck or some divine being or whatever#can you tell claude is also my favorite character in fire emblem three houses c:#that said oh my god i just thought randomly about how. it. meeting all the people i have in my life#that said i'd consider myself lucky to have met you all. i'll try not to think more of it rn bcs i'd probably get emotional n cry again#maybe this is a bit hypocritical of me but i personally like to believe in fate/destiny in a way when it comes to you#back to gbf though 🥺 OH YEAH I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANGELS#i find mythology vvv interesting! i greatly love mythology. n similar stuff too. i really really really want to read paradise lost#i love angels. so going through wmtsb (i haven't finished the third part yet bcs i am too emotional n nervous n scared for it but#oops we will forget that fact for now)#i've always loved angels and birds and wings. freedom. i think i read fanfic with. themes with those. i really loved them#god this reminds me again of how much i really want to learn and understand n know so much more. about everything#in life in the universe in this world. and of everyone. please tell me all about your thoughts and secrets and emotions and desires#your past. i really want to know. i'm genuinely so curious about it all#which is a bit dangerous now that i think of it in this world. this society. but personally for me i really value loyalty n honesty n trust#but we can hurt the people we love even if we don't want to. and i'm very used to the feeling of. feeling like i'm a monster#buuuut i still very much love the concepts of ^^ & emphasis actually on the S there#like yk if i relate n love angels and the moon and the night and the sky so very much. n that love is part of my identity#i wonder what about for everyone else. i want to learn from another human. i'm so goddamn curious about everyone#i'm gna sleep now but oh my god october passed by so quickly
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dumbseee · 11 months
Text
insecurity.
f1 au/fic: in which, lando and y/n have been dating for a few months, but fans are still talking about y/n’s past relationship. making lando feel insecure and questioning y/n’s feelings for him.
lando norris x singer!reader
(fc: jess alexander)
note: english isn’t my first language so excuse me for the mistakes this might have xx ALSO it’s the first time that i’m actually writing something so i hope it’s not too bad lmao. thank you for reading my aus btw <3
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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 2 799 009 others.
y/n: happy birthday to my sun, you’re such a beautiful soul, i’m so proud to call you mine. i love you to the moon and back and promise to always love you.
_
landonorris: i love you more baby
danielricciardo: we’re at practice and he’s crying btw
fan1: they’re so absjdkdoldel
fan2: mama y papa
fan3: he always smile so brightly when he’s looking at her :(
fan4: i’m sorry but i can’t help but think about y/n’s ex… on the same day last year she was posting pictures of him
fan5: @.fan4 don’t do that… it’s about lando, not her ex
fan6: am i tripping or she also used to call her ex, her « sun »??
fan7: @.fan6 WHAT
fan8: @.fan6 no she didn’t?
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_
lando sighed and threw his phone on his bed. of course he saw all the tweets about you and your stupid ex, how could he ignore them when it was all over the internet. people were speculating about if he was a rebound or a toy for you. lando was hurt, he always thought that you were way out of his league anyways so he should’ve seen it coming, right? you were an amazing and worldwide known singer, with your angelic voice and heartbreaking lyrics. you sang with your heart which made anyone who was listening to you, fall in love immediately.
that’s what happened with lando. he was always a big fan of yours, singing your songs on top of his lungs at parties, and following every single news about you, he even went to your concerts. one day, he went viral for singing your song on the radio with his engineer, he also happened to have made it to p3, which he said was because you were his lucky charm. the video was published online and went viral, you saw it and immediately found it adorable. the rest was history.
when you guys hard launched your relationship to the world, the big majority was happy for you two, happy to see you smile and happy to see that lando managed to get his crush. but a small minority saw that relationship as a rebound for you, saying horrible things about how you never loved lando and how you would dump him in a few months to go back to your one true love, your ex.
lando saw it all. and he hated it.
"lando? are you okay?" you asked, when you went to check in on him. he was supposed to bring a few blankets so you guys could watch a movie together. but he was taking way too much time so you went to see if he was okay.
"do you love me y/n?" he asked you, and the sadness in his eyes almost made you cry. lando’s eyes was what you loved the most about him, with his smile of course, but his gorgeous green eyes were full of emotions, you could drown in them and feel every little thing he was feeling just by looking at him.
"what are you talking about? of course i love you lando." you say, taking his hand in yours and softly kissing his knuckles. you saw him close his eyes and sigh deeply. you pushed him on the bed and sat next to him. "what happened?"
"it’s stupid, don’t worry about it." he finally looked up at you and faked a smile but it didn’t fool you.
"lando. tell me." you were still holding his hand and with your free hand you started to caress his cheek. he closed his eyes again and melted against your touch.
"your fans are still talking about your past relationship and how i’m nothing but a rebound to you." he said it in such a low tone you almost didn’t hear him. but sadly you heard his words and you could feel your heart shatter at how your fans words affected him. "i know that you guys stayed together for a while, and i know that you wrote good songs about him, i listened to them all, but… if you still love him you can-…"
"lando norris." you said in a serious tone, which startled him. "how am i supposed to love anyone else when you stole my heart and refuse to give it back?" his eyes lit up a little by your words. "and i literally wrote 56 songs about how much i love you so you better listen to them all once again and never doubt my feelings for you ever again, boy."
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charlottesiine and 6 808 009 others.
y/n: ‘you are in love’ is officially out ;) little gift from me to you sweet lan <3
_
maxfewtrell: lando listened to it and locked himself in the bathroom to cry
landonorris: @.maxfewtrell FAKE NEWS
danielricciardo: i wish someone would write 57 songs about me…
heidiberger_: @.danielricciardo excuse me? (great song btw y/n!)
liked by y/n.
fan1: ZKSKSLXPODOSOZ
fan2: y/n making haters eat their words with one song: queen behaviour
fan3: i hope haters will stop hating on lando now how can you say that y/n is using him as a rebound
fan4: CALL 911 IM ON THE VERGE OF DEATH
fan5: y/n writing a love song for lando on his birthday :(
fan6: i love them so much pls
fan7: that whole drama about her ex was so dumb, they broke up for a reason and y/n also wrote songs about how awful he was to her towards the end of their relationship, why do you guys want her to go back to that dog?
liked by y/n.
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etfrin · 4 months
Text
❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — chapter eight | coriolanus snow
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「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 SFW | Coriolanus Snow
「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 Coryo wakes up in the hospital and finds you... oh! you guys share a bed btw <⁠(⁠ ̄⁠︶⁠ ̄⁠)⁠>
「ᴀ/ɴ:」 hope y'all like this!!
beta read by the amazing spectacular @nowitsmissing
series masterlist | navigation
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Coriolanus Snow could hear a certain buzz as he regained consciousness. He soon realized it was the noise of the machine attached to him. The groan he lets out is louder than he thought as he opens his eyes and begins to sit up.
He blinks, the dim light of the hospital filling his eyes up and it hurts. He looked to his left and saw the empty beds beside him, a few nurses fluttering around, not paying any attention to anything except their remaining work.
He looks to his right, and he won't ever admit the fact that his eyes watered. A few teardrops even rolled down on his cheeks without his consent. You were there, safe and present. Curled up in a chair, sleeping. He hissed softly as he wiped the moisture away from his face. He ignored the sting he felt whenever he moved. The wound in his back would surely scar.
At least it wasn't his face.
He stands up on his feet, his arm holding the IV pole for support. He wondered briefly if he should wake you up but decided against it. It certainly wasn't because you looked so pretty right now, he just wanted you well rested. That's it (not).
But his attention is stolen by his tribute on the TV. Lucy Gray Baird live on the screens of every TV in Panem. Even the nurses had stopped working to look at her. She held a guitar. Coriolanus was glad that Sejanus Plinth did one thing right in his life.
“Good evening. Capitol. Districts,” she said. Her fingertips were on the strings of the lovely guitar. “I wrote this song for a boy back in twelve. I hope he hears it.”
Then she begins to strum out a tune and a sweet melody begins to play with heartbreaking lyrics.
“When I was a babe, I fell in the holler
When I was a girl, I fell into your arms
We fell on hard times, and we lost our bright Colors
You went zu the dogs, and I lived by my charms
I danced for my dinner, spread kisses like honey
You stole and you gambled, and I said you should
We sang for our soppers, we drunk up our money
And one day you left, saying I was no good…"
He grinned, Lucy Gray certainly painted a picture of a heartbroken girl nicely. It would certainly win the hearts of the Capitol if the sobbing of the nurses he could hear was any sign. Plus, he was sure Sejanus Plinth would be blinded by jealousy. The thought made Coriolanus feel so much better.
Then his attention turns to you, your voice much sweeter despite being raspy, “It was a rebel bombing they said.” You continue, “They wanted to destroy the symbols of the Games. Marcus, Sejanus Plinths’ tribute ran away. And several died. We were lucky.”
You stand up and stretch your arms. And he hates himself for his eyes lowered to see the flash of skin you showed when your shirt rose. He swallowed and pretended that his increased heartbeat wasn't because of you.
You walk up to him.
“You were lucky,” you said, your hand caging his with a hold he cherished. You rest your head on his shoulder and both of you watch the song end together, and Lucy walks off stage.
You begin to explain again, “Tigris had to leave for work. Sejanus left to give Lucy Gray the guitar. They both were present and worried.”
Your head turns to his side, and you whisper, “You're not allowed to get hurt again.”
“I don't think I have that in control-” Coriolanus begins to say, his voice defensive. He could see the tiredness in your eyes. He could see you overwhelmed by what happened. He didn't need to ask ‘Real or not?’. He knew.
You squeezed his hand so hard that he saw white in his vision, a surprised groan leaving his lips. “You're not allowed to get hurt,” you emphasized. Your eyes narrowed in a glare, you looked a bit adorable with how worn out you were and Coriolanus wanted to smile at you. He decided against it when the hold got tighter and he was pretty sure his hand wasn't getting any blood flow.
“Fine,” he agreed, “I won't get hurt again.”
He knew it wasn't in his control. But for you, he would try. There was no way to rationalize why so he put the promise he just made to you to the back of his mind.
Your hand loses the death grip and you gently make him sit down on the bed again. “Ma I mean Sejanus’ mom sent some food for us. She's sad that she couldn't visit,” you said.
“Ma?” He questioned.
“She told me to call her that. I had plenty of dinners at Sejanus place.” You answered.
“Plenty, huh?” He muttered it was so obviously jealous that you raised an eyebrow at him. You dig out a container from a bag and place it on your lap. In your hand, you had utensils for one person.
“Feel free to invite me to yours, Snow.”
But he couldn't, and that increased his jealousy even more. Sejanus could feed you steaks, and sweets and what could Coriolanus feed you? Expired milk and cabbage soup. He didn't say anything further, letting the hurt fester in his heart.
He decided to give you something else instead.
“Coryo…” he whispered, his eyes vulnerable, “Call me Coryo from now on.” Coryo was a nickname for his friends and family. Something intimate to him, something he owns to himself. And he was giving it to you and hoped that you accepted it.
“Coryo,” you tried out, and it sounded perfect from your lips. It sounded so much like the fate he avoids, that he looks away. He blames his blurry eyes on tiredness.
“Now eat,” you said, taking his attention with the spoonful of rice you held in front of him.
“I can feed myself,” he said. He wasn't that hurt. He could move his limbs fine. He can feed himself. He is not a child. You don't have to treat him as one.
“Don't care, Coryo. It's for me rather than for you,” you stated, “Please, Coryo.”
He doesn't argue. He doesn't know what to refute when your eyes turn pleading. And he knew that you were making the impression so he would give in. And so he did. Who was he to reject you after all?
He lets you feed him the rice and chicken gravy Sejanus's mom cooked deliciously. It was hundredfolds better than anything Coriolanus could compare to. He will remember to pass his thanks to Sejanus.
After the box is devoid of any food, it's returned to its place in the bag. And you curled up in the uncomfortable seat again. Coriolanus didn't like it very much, it was obvious it wasn't the most luxurious place to sleep in. Surely, your back and neck will hurt when you wake up tomorrow.
He moves himself until there's space in his small, hospital bed. He pats the space. “Come here,” he said. Before you could protest, he adds, “It's for me rather than for you.”
You don't argue with him, instead you slip him beside him. Your body against his in the small bed. He lets out a shuddering breath that you don't notice. His arm is under your head, being used as a pillow. In a sense, you were cuddling with how quickly your legs had tangled with his and your arm was over his torso. He felt caged, and he never knew being caged could feel good not suffocating. It could feel safe.
You made him feel safe.
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NEXT PART
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il-miele-che-scrive · 4 months
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a lil xmas-y smau charles leclerc x reader, faceclaim sabrina carpenter
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yourusername made something special for you guys for the holidays 🤍 fruitcake is out of the oven
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username1 wtf is she holding?
↳ username2 a fruit cake I assume since the album's name is fruitcake?
carlossainz55 I gave it a listen before it came out and I'm gonna make it everyone's business
↳ yourusername alright Chili stop flexing or I won't let you pre-listen to anything else in the future 🙄
carlossainz55 you know that's not true
yourusername you're lucky I value your opinion
georgerussell63 Y/n send help Carmen hasn't stopped blasting the album since it came out
↳ yourusername seems like a you problem darling🫶
carmenmmundt don't listen to him Y/n, he secretly loves fruitcake
maxverstappen1 this is better than the Dutch national anthem
↳ yourusername thank you I guess 🤔
↳ username5 that's such an underrated compliment
username3 literally how dare you release Cindy Lou who when you literally stole Charles from Charlotte. Alex 'stealing' him from you is literally your karma
↳ username2 but Y/n and Charles have been recently seen in France together 👀
username3 oh great 🙄 what a homewrecker, also notice how she's flirting with literally all drivers in her comments
username4 they're friends she's not flirting with them lol plus Charles is still in her likes so they're def back together
↳ maxverstappen1 literally shut the fuck up
username5 lmaooo Max being the big brother Y/n never had
username2 tell them queen 💅
username6 i live for the friendship between Y/n and Max 🙏 oh what a girl gotta do for a friend like this
landonorris slay bestie
↳ yourusername you know it
username4 so we're all just gonna ignore the fact that Y/n has been seen with Charles in France and they still follow each other and like each other's posts?
↳ username7 i mean that's just how adults are but
username4 nah just wait and see
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yourusername a quick trip to Paris 🤍 je t'aime
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username4 SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
username8 THE 3RD PIC WHAT
charles_leclerc je t'aime moi aussi ❤️
↳ username4 THEY'RE SO CUTE AND FOR WHAT
↳ username5 I love how Y/n is like a younger sister to Max and dating his biggest nemesis of all times
yourusername i asked them to be nice to each other
username3 nah that's too much, I hate this drama and this girl
↳ username8 imagine being so bitter to post a comment like this
↳ maxverstappen1 quit stalking her page then?
username7 big brother max strikes again and we love to see it
↳ username3 weird how Y/n became Max's sister when she started dating Charles 🙄 sister my ass, she's def cheating on Charles
username4 i haven't read a comment as dumb as this since your previous one, Charles and Max were friends before Charles started dating Y/n so he introduced her to Max, what's weird about that?
username3 and what does that change? people make new 'friends' while in a relationship and end up cheating with said friends
username4 sweetheart you're embarrassing yourself, Y/n said in an interview that she's grateful for Charles introducing her to Max because he's like an older brother to her AND WE CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT
username3 what was she supposed to say? Yeah, I'm fucking my boyfriend's rival?
username5 you jealous bitter asshole, go cry to your mom about men and women being friends
carlossainz55 But when are you coming to Monaco? We all miss you
↳ yourusername I'll be home for Christmas
username9 not Y/n replying with a song lyrics lol she's so unserious
username10 what did you expect her to write a whole paragraph about how she's going to be there for the 24th/25th of December
username9 she said she'll be home for Christmas, she's going back to America
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charles_leclerc so grateful to have you here for Christmas ❤️ welcome home
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yourusername i couldn't be happier 😭❤️
↳ charles_leclerc btw we should bake together more often
yourusername you mean I bake and you occassionally steal the frosting more often?
charles_leclerc call it whatever you want darling but we have to repeat it sometime
yourusername bet, now that I live with you you won't avoid it
↳ carlossainz55 In the name of the whole grid could I fill a request to try your baked goods?
yourusername sure if Charlie won't eat all my frosting
username4 SHE'S IN MONACO AND SHE BROUGHT HER DOG???
username5 that's why she said she'll be home, because Monaco is her home now 😭 I'm not crying you are
landonorris haters been really quiet
↳ yourusername they're scared of Charlie and Max joining forces to defend me
maxverstappen1 as they should am i right @/charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc so right mate
↳ username7 so sexy of them to be so protective of y/n
username5 so sexy and for what
username7 for us to fangirl I guess
carmenmmundt Okay but when are we going to hang out? Since when are boyfriends more important than friends?
↳ yourusername we had a double date a few days ago didn't we
carmenmmundt I meant a girls night
yourusername you got separation anxiety or what😭
carmenmmundt Only with you though, it doesn't work like that with George
↳ georgerussell63 I mean, she's right, I haven't experienced any separation anxiety from her
yourusername excuse me @/georgerussell63 the last time i checked she was your gf
charles_leclerc should I be jealous?
↳ yourusername absolutely not!! <3
↳ carlossainz55 Don't worry mate, in the worst case @/landonorris and I can take you on a date
landonorris the worst case?!
charles_leclerc well, it's not ideal is it?
landonorris is it not?!
username7 help cause i've always imagined y/n and charles as parents and lando as their kid
↳ yourusername i mean, he did thirdwheel us a few times
landonorris and loved every second of it
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wasawattpadkid · 1 year
Text
Drunk Antics
Summary: When Billy and Stu have a little too much to drink they come to you.
Pairing: poly!ghostface (college au) x fem!reader
Warnings: Nothing really just fluff and angst. Drunk Billy and Stu
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The pounding on your dorm door was bound to wake up everyone in a 5 mile radius. "What the hell-" Billy and Stu hit the floor in a heap of giggles. "Told you she was home fuckrag." A tiny hiccup could be heard coming from Stu. "How did you two even get in here?" You questioned helping the men up. "A magician never tells his secrets Y/n." Stu's words were slurred and his legs were shaky. You closed the door telling them both to sit down. Thankfully Stu listened falling back on your roommates bed. "I'm gonna be sick..." Stu groaned.
"No no no, no you're not." You grabbed a trash can running to his aid. "I'm kidding!" He giggled his hiccups getting worse. Billy tossed his hair back dancing around the room. "I was thinking of you tonight..." Stu said dragging his hand down the middle of your shirt. You laughed dryly. "Oh yeah I bet you were. You know you smell like perfume Stu." You weren't pissed just disappointed. "We robbed a perfume store." Billy laughed at his partners answer.
"Dance with me Y/n." Billy tugged at your clothes trying to pull you to him. "Babe you reek of Jack Daniels." Billy's lips made contact with your neck biting and sucking the skin he found. "Oh no, not tonight. You are both way too drunk." You pushed him back just enough to see his splotchy red face. The tip of his nose bright red making him look like Rudolph. "I didn't have near as much as he did." He pointed to the unconscious man on the bed. "Fuck." You left Billy standing to roll Stu on his side just in case.
"He'll be fine. I didn't drug him this time." You whipped your head towards your boyfriend. "What!?" You whisper yelled and he just laughed. "Kidding! If making a joke is a crime arrest me." He held out his hands connected by the wrist. "As much as I'd love to see you in handcuffs not tonight Billy, I said no." He rolled his eyes stomping his foot like a toddler. "Jesus how much did you drink tonight?"
You helped him out of his leather jacket flinging it to the side of the room. "Slow down there my girlfriend kills people." He slurred and you laughed. His knuckles were slightly bloody which is something you'd definitely have to bring up tomorrow. "We need to get you into bed." He rubbed his hands together once again thinking he was about to get lucky. He sat down on the bed letting you pull off his shoes. The next thing to go was his shirt. "You're very beautiful at this angle." When he was drunk his charm was on high. "Thanks." You didn't even bother with his jeans. "Now lay back."
Billy did as told waiting for you to climb in with him. "Where you going?" He asked his pout could be heard in his voice. "I'm checking on Stu." You sighed hating being a babysitter. "And I don't want the world to see me!" Billy loudly began singing making you jump. "Cause I don't think that they'd understand." He was your drama queen. "With everything meant to be broken." You were 100% sure those weren't the lyrics. He mumbled the next line tears now forming in his eyes. "Babe don't.. aww." He held out his arms like a toddler pulling you on top of him.
Your head laid on top of his chest as his arms squeezed you. "Promise you won't leave us." He whispered. The sound of his voice broke your heart. "Where is this coming from?" A whimper left his throat. "Just promise." You sighed. "I promise Billy." With that his heart rate slowed and he began to fall asleep. Thank God your roommate went home for the weekend.
"Y/n?" Stu whispered from the other bed. You closed your eyes preparing for more antics. "Yes babe?" Silence. "Yes babe?" You repeated. Nothing. "Stu!" You whispered gaining his attention. "Hmm?" He mumbled. "What'd you want?" You asked ready to help him to the bathroom or trash can. "I don't know you called me." You took a moment before you laughed with pity. "Your head is going to kill you tomorrow."
"If it doesn't you will." He muttered falling back asleep. "Damn straight." You smiled as you cuddled up with Billy.
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the-record · 11 months
Text
smitten
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i have not been able to stop thinking ab @chai-berries post about abby sitting between ur thighs at a party sooo heres this!
i do not use description for the reader and the photos do not characterize the reader !!
lyrics from ‘smitten/vulnerable’ by leanna firestone (thinking ab doing a second part inspired by the second part of the song??)
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i think i must be doing something right
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you both typically hated parties. they were loud, sticky, and full of annoying drunk people. however, manny had requested that you kindly make an appearance at his. how could you say no?
abby had gone to get you both drinks as you claimed a spot on his couch. you scrolled on your phone, smiling at your friends posts. she came back with two drinks in hand and someone following her.
you sat with her arm around you as she talked with a friend from one of her classes. you spoke every now and then, but were content just sitting and listening to them speak.
you sat with her arm around you as she talked with a friend from one of her classes. you spoke every now and then, but were content just sitting and listening to them speak.
you sat with her arm around you as she talked with a friend from one of her classes. you spoke every now and then, but were content just sitting and listening to them speak.
at some point you felt her move her arm off you and stand up. you grabbed her hand to go with her, but she just smiled back before sitting between your legs. one of your hands found its way to her hair as one of hers wrapped around your ankle.
so i thank god and my lucky stars alike
you watched as they played never-have-i-ever, which made you laugh thinking about the times you played in middle school. you listened or played on your phone for the most part, only nudging abby with your foot when she said something out of pocket.
“hey! what’s that for?” she’d turn around to look at you and you’d both just smile. her friends made fun of her, calling her whipped, but she just laughed knowing she was.
as the night went on, you joined in a bit in the games and conversation they had going on at your feet. whenever you both weren’t talking, abby was placing kisses on your thighs and rubbing shapes into your calves. it made you smile as you threaded your fingers through her hair in return.
‘cause i don’t know what i did or how i did it
eventually everyone broke off into separate conversations, leaving you two to talk again. she sat half turned so she could still lay on your leg as you told her about your day. she’d press more small kisses when she could tell something frustrated you, bringing a smile to your face every time.
she was content staying like that forever.
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but i did something right.
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leclerc-s · 1 month
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so american
series masterlist
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logansargeant posted a new story
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hey! this pretty girl has 5 extra songs coming out soon! go stream or else!
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liked by lilymhe, maejonesverstappen, logansargeant and others
zoyatorres we're so american
tagged: logansargeant
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logansargeant POOKIE I LOVE YOU!
↳ zoyatorres NO POOKIE, I LOVE YOU!
user92 see we knew the song was about him but the caption is still so cute.
lilymhe when is it my turn to get a love song written about me?
↳ zoyatorres this just means alex_albon needs to step up his game!
↳ alex_albon how am i supposed to compete with 'he's like a poem i wish i wrote' i can't!
isabellaperez WRITE A LOVE SONG ABOUT ME NEXT!!
logansargeant keep this shit up and i'm going to marry you
↳ zoyatorres logan sargeant are you proposing to moi?
↳ charles_leclerc i sure hope that's not on how he plans to ask you.
↳ jensonbutton as do i. i taught you better than this logan.
↳ logansargeant IT'S A LYRIC IN THE SONG!
user45 no one is doing it like them.
irisapatow okay, i guess you guys are cute.
↳ logansargeant POOKIE! I GOT THE APPROVAL!
↳ zoyatorres LET'S GO! IRIS I LOVE YOU!
user31 those are my parents guys!! they're so fucking cute!!
user20 it's such a cute love song for a girl who's never released a love song before. (i'm not talking about gross!)
rhysjones just two americans in love, for once. everyone seems to love dating people from different countries.
↳ isabellaperez i would argue against but it seems to be true. they are the only couple from the same country.
oscarpiastri you wrote a love song about the guy who tripped over air and ended up covered in mud before your first date?
↳ logansargeant SHUT UP? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?
↳ isabellaperez it's okay logan, he almost shit his pants the first time he met my mom and brother.
↳ oscarpiastri do you hate me?
maejonesverstappen this is so cute. the song is so cute, i'm obsessed one could say.
↳ rhysjones that was a horrible joke, never joke again.
↳ maejonesverstappen i will revoke your paddock passes.
user04 i sincerely hope logan knows how lucky he is to be dating zoya.
↳ logansargeant i am very much aware.
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¡leclerc-s speaks! i am devastated about what williams decided to do, but that is because i have a soft spot for my fellow american, so this is what happens. it's a little short but that's okay. lastly, manifesting points for williams tomorrow. hope their decision works out for them.
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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121 notes · View notes
remlionheart · 24 days
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* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦ ˚ *
Marinade
*:・゚✧*:・゚ when i first decided that i wanted to write some yuuji angst, i had a v vague idea in my head of what it might look like, but when i tell you that this fic took me for a ride, i mean it. angel boy yuuji itadori finds himself mourning his 22nd birthday rather than celebrating it. sitting alone at a bar, overwhelmed by grief when he's suddenly greeted by the one part of his past that doesn't hurt to look at. 4.9k words. hurt/comfort, angst, smut, fluff, slice of life, shonen, literally everything and anything going on here. i was crying and smiling and rooting for these characters and i'm not sure that i'll ever emotionally recover from writing this, but i'm really happy w the outcome so lemme know whatcha think, luv you ♡ (also shoutout to my girl @bratbby333 for always being my biggest hype-woman and proofreading for me when i've looked at a fic for too long and start to hate it) *:・゚✧*:・゚
now playing: marinade by dope lemon
Yuuji hadn't seen you since middle school.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
He remembered you as the girl who had pretty handwriting and a serious affinity for the color blue. The girl who would leave pastel origami hearts on his desk without ever saying why. The girl who'd hide away in the library during lunch instead of eating with the rest of the class. The girl who he'd watch on the bus ride home with a sinking feeling in his stomach, catching the way your eyes glossed over each time the driver stopped in front of your house.
He learned how much you loved to read and write that year. Glancing at you from across the study hall room, secretly jotting down what number was printed along the spine of your book so that he could get you the next one in the series. He'd leave it on your desk before class started, the same way you did with his origami hearts. Never saying a word about it.
He watched you fill countless journals, your face always so concentrated as you poured your thoughts into them. He’d stop by the shopping plaza near his house after school every time he noticed that you’d reached the last page, spending his allowance to make sure there was a new one waiting for you the next morning. Each one he gave you, a different shade of blue.
But it wasn’t until the last day of eighth grade that he finally mustered up the courage to break the not-so-silent-silence the two of you had been sharing for the last 6 months. He sat down next to you, introducing himself even though it went without saying. His eyebrows furrowed a bit when you wordlessly slipped out an earbud and handed it to him. A rare, but visible smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. He held it in his palm for a moment, his eyes drifting along your face as he brought it to his ear, letting the tangled white cord tether the two of you together.
He’d never heard the song before, but he still remembered thinking how fitting it was. Dreamy and melodic - just like you. The singer's voice was full of raw sincerity, adding another layer of atmospheric haze to the already heady beat while the chorus gradually filled the space between you.
He didn't have the right words to explain it at the time, but he felt lucky as he watched you stare out the window that day. Lucky to know how pretty you looked when the sunlight caught the side of your face. Lucky to know which fantasy novels you liked to spend hours losing yourself in. Lucky to know what type of music you listened to when you were deep in thought. Lucky, just to be sitting next to you.
His heart jumped around in his chest when your eyes met his again. Both of you exchanging the same somber smile as you realized what road you were on.
He handed his half of the headphones back to you, secretly relieved at how calm you still seemed despite the fact that your stop was next.
“That song,” he hesitated, the lyrics still swirling through his mind. “what was it –”
But his question came to an abrupt end as the bus began to brake, a new and overwhelming warmth dancing through his veins when he noticed how close you suddenly were to him.
His pupils doubled in size, his breath catching in his throat while you leaned in carefully, pressing the softest kiss against his boyish cheek.
"Have a good summer, Yuuji." you whispered, grabbing your backpack off the floor.
His hand rested where your lips had been, his gaze following you off of the bus. You made it about halfway up your driveway before pausing to look back at him over your shoulder, two lingering smiles blurring past one another as the driver hurried on with her route.
The next two months were filled with sunshine and soccer practice for him. Bike rides and camping trips and basketball courts. His days were usually full, but no matter what he was doing or where he was going, there was one song that was always on the tip of his tongue:
♫⋆。 ♪ ₊ ゚“Do you want me? Just how I am? Do you need me and where I stand?”
One song that would forever remind him of you:
"Let's go steady, let's make a plan. Marinade on that for a little while." ⋆。 ♪ ₊♬ ゚。
And he did.
He marinaded on the infatuation he felt for you the rest of that entire summer.
When August arrived that year and brought everyone back for high school, he was ready.
There were stories he wanted to tell you, questions he wanted to ask you. Playlists he wanted to make with you. Books he'd found while thrifting that he wanted to give to you. Daydreams he had of roaming the halls and laughing with you. Visions of bringing his lunch into the library so he could eat with you. He couldn't wait to hear about your summer. Couldn't wait to catch up with you. Couldn't wait to see you.
Unfortunately for you both though, life had other, much darker plans in store for the pink-haired boy who just wanted to carry around your books for you and hold your hand during passing period.
He was called out of class early on the first day. Forced to leave the building before he even had the chance to see you as he frantically tracked down the nearest shuttle and rushed across town to get to the hospital. His grandpa’s health had been on a slow decline, but after his most recent fall, it had suddenly started to plummet.
Yuuji missed the majority of that week, dedicating all of his time to the man who had essentially raised him. He would bring him food and sit with him for hours even though he was mostly incoherent. He’d tell him about his day and leave flowers by his bedside. He'd watch reruns of old game shows with him that they used to watch when Yuuji was little, completely ignoring the nurses who would say things like, "You need to give yourself a break.”
The hospital staff tried their best to get him to take a day off. To go back to school and live his own life, but Yuuji just couldn’t. His grandpa was the only family he'd ever really had. There was no way he was going to leave him. He ditched the comfort of his bedroom and began sleeping on the cramped hospital futon next to the grey-haired man, teaching himself what each machine hooked up to him was responsible for and what vitals they monitored. He’d sometimes leave throughout the day, but it was only for a couple of hours at most. He'd return with more flowers and books to read to him. By the third week of school, he'd missed almost every single one of his classes, but he didn’t care. His priorities were firm.
Yuuji stayed by his side - day in and day out, until the very end.
When he woke up to the sound of erratic beeping and codes that he didn't understand being called out by nurses, he knew. He knew in his heart that this was it. Amongst the chaos were two sets of shaking hands reaching for each other, his grandpa's last words hanging heavily in the space between them,
“Yuuji... You're a strong kid, try your best to help others, okay?”
He remembered thinking at that moment that there couldn’t be a worse feeling. That he couldn’t possibly have anything else left to lose. He was only 15 and he was now officially all on his own as he watched the only parental figure he had let out his last breath of air.
He had no family, no future, no chance.
Fate was a cruel and calculating thing though. A few days after the funeral, Yuuji discovered that he did have a future. One that was irreversibly sealed the minute he stepped foot into Jujutsu High. He had to let go of everything he'd known in exchange for the damning task of becoming a vessel for Ryomen Sukuna. He had to trade in his mundane role of being a high school freshman for the daunting responsibility of becoming a first-year sorcerer. And arguably the hardest thing of all, he had to give up the simple pleasure of sharing a set of tangled headphones with you to try and save a world that didn't truly care about him.
There was no room for normalcy anymore. This was his new life and it was ending, one day at a time.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
He sat at a nearly vacant bar by himself, staring down the empty glass in front of him, watching the ice melt as he ran a shaky hand along the back of his neck.
It was 4 o'clock and he was only one of two people here this early. The lights and music were still being adjusted by the workers. Cups being stocked and coolers being filled for the inevitable Saturday-night rush that would come in the next few hours. His goal was to be absolutely obliterated by then - to already be on his way back home before the swarm of college students took over.
He paused, noticing the calendar hanging by the craft beer list in front of him. His heart stuttered a bit as he blinked back at the date. No wonder he'd been feeling so reminiscent lately.
He leaned over the counter hoping to find the bartender who'd poured his first drink, but to no avail.
He grabbed his glass, sucking down the very last drop of whiskey it had to offer, trying desperately to drown out the realization that today was his 22nd birthday and the people who should be here with him weren't.
Almost every friend he'd made over the last ten years had been ripped away from him. They were scattered memories. Familiar voices that he did his best to hold onto. Faces, names, deaths that followed him everywhere he went.
Middle school and the innocence of just wanting to hold a pretty girl's hand while she walked down the hallway were long gone. He was an adult now. A very tired and traumatized adult.
He peered around the corner again, half-tempted to jump over the bar and pour himself another drink when the stereo kicked on, an overwhelming wave of pure, deep blue nostalgia flooding over him without warning.
His back straightened, his eyes suddenly darting towards the speaker as the lyrics drifted across his skin, causing every hair on his body to stand up at once.
"She wanted to die by a river. She wanted the tide to come up and drag her away, so that when she's dreamin', she can watch the tree line fall away." ⋆。 ♪
It was the same hazy melody that he'd spent an entire summer listening to on repeat. He still knew every word, every beat. It was muscle memory the way his fingertips began to drum along the counter when a bartender finally emerged from the back.
"Sorry, do you need a –"
Time stilled, the glass nearly slipping from his hand as your gaze caught his.
"Yuuji?"
Despite how much you'd changed since the last time he saw you, your voice was somehow just as soft as he remembered it being.
He stared back at you in quiet disbelief, guilt quickly settling in the pit of his stomach as he thought about how fucking strange and unexpected this all must feel for you too.
From your perspective, he'd spent all of 8th grade trying to befriend you only to up and leave without even saying goodbye. And now, 7 years later - he was at your work, looking back at you like you were an actual angel, and forgetting every word he knew.
Your eyes stayed locked on his for another moment, both of you studying the person in front of you before you finally let out a shaky breath and smiled at him.
"Here," You offered, suddenly feeling the need to soothe your own nerves too. "On the house."
He tried to tell you that he could pay for it, but it was too late. You were already pouring two shots and motioning for him to put his wallet away.
"Okay, fine. But..." There was a glimmer in his eye as he pulled his glass away from yours. "What are we toasting to?"
The smile he gave you felt like a warm hug. One that you didn't realize you needed until you had it again. "Oh," You stammered, trying to ignore the blood that was rushing to your cheeks. "What about... To old friends?"
He nodded, still wearing the same expression as your drinks lightly knocked together. "To old friends."
He couldn't help but grin again at the little shiver that swept across your body as you finished yours.
Your hair was longer, your features a bit more mature, but your mannerisms were all the same. You were still the girl that was made up of mid-day sunlight, handbound books, and shades of blue that were too pretty to exist in this world.
You grabbed a beer out of the cooler and slid it to him, once again ignoring the credit card he tried to hand you. "Yuuji, relax." you leaned against the counter, resting your head in your hands so that you were eye-level with him. "They're not gonna go bankrupt over a $2 IPA, I promise."
"If you say so."  
You both exchanged the same small smile, his finger lightly running along the counter. "So," he cleared his throat, completely unsure of where to start. "How've you been?"
It was a loaded question, maybe even a dumb question considering how much time had passed, but he didn't care. He really did want to know how you'd been. What you'd been up to. What type of things you'd been writing about. What your Spotifty playlists looked like. What you did on your days off. He wanted to know everything. All of it.
"Well," you exhaled, trying to find an easy way to condense the last seven years of your life. "My parents..." your eyebrows furrowed, realizing that you'd never gotten the chance to tell him why you used to dread your old bus route so much. "My parents finally got divorced..."
“Oh shit, I’m sorry -"
“No,” You said swiftly, not wanting him to feel bad for asking. "It was more of a relief than anything. They used to fight, a lot. My mom wasn't always the nicest when she drank... It probably should've happened way sooner to be honest."
His breathing slowed as memories of you with tears in your eyes walking up your driveway smashed through his mind. He'd promised himself that he would ask you about it one day, but he had no idea it'd be this much later on. He'd wanted to talk to you about it as kids. Wanted to know what scared you so much about going home, but he didn't know how. It was the reason why he left journals on your desk. The reason why he never let you go without the next book in your series.
For everything he couldn't say, he tried to show. But he'd failed you on both accounts the day he disappeared.
"My parents separated my -" you paused, eyes dragging to his as you corrected yourself. "our graduation year."
He nodded, doing his best to digest the thought of you walking down the aisle in a cap and gown with the weight of your parents' downfall on your shoulders.
"But, after that," you smiled slightly. “I applied to college and got accepted. Started working here. Got my own apartment. And I don't know...” you shrugged, "I think in a weird way, things happened the way they were supposed to. It was like everything needed to fall apart before it got better, you know?"
He smiled back at you, your last sentence lingering in the space between you as he reached for your hand. He probably wouldn't have understood that sentiment a year ago, but watching your eyes widen while your fingers slowly tangled into his, he knew exactly what you meant now.
"I'm really sorry I wasn't there..." His thumb brushed against the side of your hand, steadying himself as he let 15-year-old him and 22-year-old him come together to say what they had both been holding onto for so long. "I didn't want to leave. I just -"
Your heart swelled in your chest, watching him blink back tears he wasn't prepared to shed. "Life got really hard for a really long time for me too. But, whenever I felt myself drifting... I thought of you. Thought of the way you'd glance at me from over your book during class. Thought of the way you smiled when you thought no one was watching. I thought of you... all the time. And it was like, no matter how dark things got, it reminded me that life could be good, because it was at one point. So..."
Your hand tightened around his, two sets of glossy eyes now staring back at each other as he forced himself to say what he should've years ago. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there, but... I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere."
You were dizzy with emotion. Swimming through feelings that you'd kept buried for nearly the last decade. The thoughts you'd only been brave enough to write down. The overwhelming urge to kiss him again and again and again until neither one of you had any air left in your lungs.
Your mouth opened and then closed, your body saying more than you were capable of with how desperately you were holding onto him.
You weren't sure what you were doing. Didn't have time to think or care about the repercussions of your impulsiveness.
"Hey Mai," You called out, "I'm really not feeling well. Think I'm gonna go home."
Yuuji's head was shaking no, but the surprised smile tugging at the corner of his mouth was saying otherwise. "What're you doing?" he whisper-shouted, watching you run around the bar to grab his hand again.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mai yelled from the back, but it was too late.
You and Yuuji were already gone, practically sprinting alongside each other, laughing as you booked it across the parking lot.
"First the free beer and now this?"
"They won't go bankrupt over me missing one day." You winked. "C'mon, I wanna show you something."
You may have been leading the way, but he was still the athlete between the two of you, purposefully slowing himself down to not be right on your heels. But when he noticed you starting to pant as the road curved into an upward slope, he reached out for you, gently spinning you around to face him.
"Come here." he knelt down, positioning himself so that you could easily wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.
He carried you piggy-back style up the hill, the sun fading into an array of pink and orange as you pointed out every bookstore around campus, explaining which ones were your favorites and why. Promising to get matcha with him tomorrow at a local coffee shop you passed. Asking him about his time at Jujutsu High and trying to wrap your mind around what little he was able to tell you as he swore that he'd fill you in on the full story when the time was right. You caught him up on what he'd missed the last three years of high school and how your college classes had been going. You talked about libraries and ghosts and laughed about how in 7th grade he'd joined the occult club just because he thought it'd be an easy after-school credit.
By the time you'd finally reached the spot you'd wanted to show him, the moon had almost completely replaced the sun. Your cheeks hurt from smiling and your hands were full of a mixture of different flowers that he'd picked for you along the way.
"This is..." he trailed off, watching the sky shift into a deep blend of blue and silver. "Beautiful. How'd you even find this place?"
It was an abandoned park surrounded by overgrown trees that overlooked the city, only one rusted swing set left to its name. The hike you had to endure just to find it had more than likely been the cause of its demise, trekking up here with a backpack was hard enough, let alone a stroller.
"I kinda found it by accident." You shrugged. "I was working on an art project and needed a good view of the skyline. I looked up a bunch of different places online, but then I saw this spot and just knew."
Yuuji pulled off his hoodie, sweat trickling down his neck from the late-summer heat as the two of you sat in the grass, his arm gently wrapping around your waist.
There had been so many times you'd sat in this exact same spot by yourself, wondering what the odds were that you were both somehow looking up at the same star.
Your head rested on his shoulder, a warm gust of air swirling around you as you both looked out into the distance, watching the way the stars faded into the Tokyo lights.
"Hey, Yuuji?" You twirled a blade of grass between your fingers, not wanting to ruin the moment, but still needing to be sure.
"Yeah?"
"You promise, right?"
"Hm?" He could hear the concern in your voice, his grip tightening as he pulled you closer.
"You promise that... you're not leaving again?"
"I swear, I'm not going anywhere. And if I do," His eyes returned to yours, his free hand attentively resting under your chin. "I'm taking you with me."
You nodded, warmth washing over you as he traced along your jawline, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.
Your fears were lost to his touch. Your worries dissolving into the sincerity of his voice. Your need for reassurance wholeheartedly met when his hand cupped your cheek and his lips finally caught yours. Seven years' worth of pent-up feelings pouring out between the two of you, hands roaming and little moans slipping out between breaths while you tugged on the collar of his shirt to bring him closer. He was gentle but eager. Soft but secure. Perfect, in every way.
He hovered over you, easing you onto the grass as he made a makeshift pillow out of his hoodie for you to rest your head on.
You smiled as his lips drifted from your mouth to your neck, his palm delicately traveling up your shirt, pulling your bra to the side while he helped slide your tank-top up over your head. He kissed your collarbones, whispering sweet little praises into your skin. "You're gorgeous, you know that?"
He rested a hand under your back, steadying you as his tongue flickered across your chest. He took his time, making sure to give each nipple the same amount of attention, still humming things like, "the prettiest girl I've ever seen" while his hand traced over your hip.
He tugged at the waistline of your shorts, looking up at you through his lashes as he began to leave featherlight kisses along the inside of your thigh, his blood racing at the sounds you were suddenly making.
"Does that feel good, baby?"
You whimpered out a broken "yes", practically dripping when his fingers spread you apart. He watched you writhe beneath him, drawing slow but firm circles around you. Trying not to lose himself to the way your legs were already shaking for him.
"Yuuji," you whined. "I -" his mouth was ghosting your center, his fingers still playing with your clit while he held you in place. "I n - need you." your voice was heady, lost somewhere in the clouds the faster he went. "I wanna f - feel you, so bad."
"Yeah?" He smiled, his breath still fanning across your core as his digits prodded carefully at your entrance. He groaned at how beautifully your walls swallowed him. "I wanna feel you too."
Your head lulled back, eyes pointed at the sky while your hand tangled into his pink hair. His mouth was warm and heavenly, his tongue running uppp and dowwnnn your center, saliva mixing with slick while his fingers plunged into you.
"Oh, fuck."
He only went deeper the louder you got, flattening his tongue against you with just the right pressure to keep you saying his name. His ring and middle finger hitting spots you'd never been able to reach yourself. You were clenching around him, your thighs locking around his head as you rocked against his tongue.
"Yuuji - you're gonna make me -" he thought it was adorable the way you struggled to get more than two words out at a time. "Fuck, I -"
"Mhmm, just like that."
He was in the same daze you were, sliding in and out of you feverishly until he finally felt the blissful release of your walls spasming around him. Your body suddenly unable to hold it in any longer as you gave him the privilege of really tasing you.
"Oh my god," he moaned, faithfully lapping up every bit of you he could get, only pulling away when you started begging for him.
"Yuuji -" It was needy and light-headed. "Come here, come here. Please."
The way he lifted his head up, smiling at you with your cum dripping down his chin made something inside you ache.
You pulled him towards you, desperately wrapping your legs around his waist as he began undoing the buttons on his pants. He kissed you, again and again and again, using it as a pleasant distraction while he wriggled himself free.
He took a breath, both of you watching in blitzed out awe as he lined himself up with you. "I love you." he whispered, your eyes widening from the blend of his words and the feeling of his tip slowly entering you. "Always have."
His hair brushed against your forehead as he parted your lips with his tongue, your nails digging into his neck with his first full thrust. You were so tight and warm around him.
He tried to ease into you, encouraging you while also making sure you were comfortable. His voice sweet as honey as he asked you things like, "Is that okay, baby?" and "Aw, you like when I go deep like that, huh?"
Your gaze locked with his, your eyebrows knitting together the faster his rhythm became.
You'd thought about this moment before. Thought about what it might feel like, but nothing could've prepared you for the way your heart would race at the sound of him moaning, "You're doing so good for me." The way he'd hold you, looking back at you with stars in his eyes as he filled every inch of you.
"Yuuji -"
"Let it out, baby. S'okay." He whispered, his hand reaching for yours. "I've got you."
Your vision was blurred by the feeling of his tip meeting your cervix, warm summer air brushing against your skin as you reached your breaking point.
"I love you." The words left your mouth so fast you barely had time to register them, but then... they wouldn't stop. It was the only phrase you remembered how to say. The only emotion you remembered how to feel. "I love you." you whimpered again, feeling yourself tighten around him as your confession became more frantic. "Oh - mygod, Yuuji. I love you. I love you. I love - you."
His movements were suddenly beyond his control, his body completely succumbing to the grip of yours. "Fuck, baby - I -" He didn't know if he should pull out. Didn't know if he could pull out. His head was everywhere, his mouth dropping open the longer he watched you.
Your legs locked around him in heady reassurance. "Mm'mm, d - don't stop." You panted. "Cum with me."
It was a sentence he'd only ever thought he'd be lucky enough to hear you say in his dreams.
His hips stilled after one more thrust, your walls holding him tight as he began to twitch inside you. His forehead pressed against yours, his arms struggling to keep him propped up.
You exchanged the same exhausted smirk, leaning up to kiss him while he carefully pulled out of you. A blend of fluids spilling out onto the grass beneath you as he laid by your side with his forearm over his face, trying to regain his composure.
There was a calm silence that settled between you, the both of you looking up at the stars before you rolled over to reach for your shorts, letting him catch his breath while you dug something out of the back pocket.
"Here." You said, unraveling a tangled pair of headphones and handing him one.
His eyes widened with the same curiosity they had 7 years ago as he held it to his ear, your head resting on his chest while a song he knew all too well flowed through the small speakers connecting you. A smile splitting across his face as he held you closer.
"You know, I think you were right." he exhaled, running light fingertips along your arm. "Everything did have to fall apart before it got better."
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
95 notes · View notes
the--rebel--fae · 2 months
Text
Stereo Heart
A/N: This was actually an idea I found from a post by @animequeen4 and I decided it just had to be written. This was a lot of fun, to be honest. I just hope I did the characters--especially a certain TV overlord, justice!
Pairing: Vox x Reader
TW: Swearing, but that's really it.
Word Count: 1116
Stereo Heart
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Velvette let out a sigh as she saw Vox pace back and forth in the main living room that the three of them usually like to hang out in. “Vox, love. Just go over there and tell her how you feel. Stop pacing back and forth worrying what to do like a pussy. You’re an Overlord for Lucifer’s sake!”
Vox sent a glare towards his fellow Vee and finally stood still for a moment. The growing whirring of his fans could practically give away how stressed he was. “Velvette. It’s not that simple. This girl’s different. She’s just–just-bzzt” He buffered slightly trying to figure out the right words to describe her.
Velvette chuckled. “You are so whipped.” Vox crackled with electricity and she shrugged nonchalantly and rested her chin on her hand while still typing away on her phone with her other hand. Velvette glanced back over at Vox as he started to pace again. “If you’re really trying to woo your little Cinderella and just doing things how you always do won’t work–”
“They won’t.”
Velvette set her phone down and crossed her arms. “Do you want my help or not Vox?” She was truly sick of how borderline pathetic Vox was being. 
As much as Vox hated that he was even asking for help, this girl was something special. He’d never seen someone that he was actually willing to court and woo instead of straight-up manipulating to get on his side. No, he couldn’t do his usual thing. He had to go bigger, better! And even if he had to get past that old timey prick at the hotel she was staying at. 
Vox let out a groan and ran a hand down his face. “Fine. what do you have in mind?”
Velvette smirked. “You said this girl died in the eighties yea?”
***
Vox groaned as he walked up to the tacky little hotel Alastor was staying at. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t have to deal with him. “Velvette you better be right about this or I swear,” he hauled the heavy-ass boom box up on his shoulder and hit the play.
Inside the hotel
You chuckled at a joke Angel Dust told you as the two of you hung out on the hotel’s balcony when you suddenly heard a song from back when you were alive. Wait…was that…
I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside 
Angel Dust’s eyes widened. “Is that song In Your Eyes?”
A smile stretched across your lips spreading into a dopey grin. It was the perfect match for your currently flushed cheeks. “You know it too Angel?” 
Angel smirked. “Course I do toots! I ain’t that ancient. Cut me some slack would ya?” He joked goodnaturedly. 
You chuckled as well and continued to smile as you heard the lyrics of the song.
In your eyes
The light, the heat
(Your eyes)
I am complete
(Your eyes)
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
(Your eyes)
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
(Your eyes)
I see the light and the heat
(Your eyes) I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
Now where could those lyrics be coming from? It sounds like it could be from some kind of sound system. The grin you had on your face hasn’t slipped once. That song was an absolute classic when you were alive. It came from a famous rom-com after all.
“Uhh, (y/n), you might wanna see this.” Angel Dust said as he peered over the balcony railing.
You stepped forward but you found yourself gripping the railing to calm your quicking heart. “V-vox? Is that really you down there?” You asked, your voice taken down to a breathless whisper. 
Vox immediately looked up at the balcony the second his speakers picked up on your voice. “Heh, hey doll. I take it you like the little surprise?”
“My, my is the annoying little picture box actually using a classic form of music consumption?” Alastor suddenly said, cutting you off before you could respond to Vox. 
Vox’s grin immediately turned sour and he had to prevent himself from destroying the stereo on his shoulder. “Al-bzzt-astor! Would you ju-bbzt shut the hell up! I’m trying to do something here you old outdated fossil!” Vox’s screen kept turning various colors from blue to red and then back to normal as he faced his long-time rival.
Alastor just chuckled as he walked forward from the balcony door and rested on the balcony railing as he looked at Vox with an amused grin. “You know, this seems like a decent little tune but I think it could use a bit of flare. Don’t you think so my dear?” Alastor said as he sent a glance your way.
“Alastor what are you about to do?”
All you got in reply was a simple snap of his fingers and instead of In Your Eyes, the stereo started playing Baby Shark, a newer little tune that some of the younger sinners have been singing lately. 
That was the last straw for Vox. As soon as he heard that tune he buffered continuously and his grip on the boom box became so strong that he split the poor thing in half. “Agh! D-bzzt-amn yo-bzt-u Alastor! Fuck you!” He cursed. 
Vox was damn near close to overheating and almost shut down from his anger until he heard your sweet giggles. “Hey Vox! Don’t worry about it! That was really sweet actually even if a certain someone decided to mess with you.”
Alastor shrugged nonchalantly at your pointed look and with a small wave goodbye, disappeared back into his shadows.
Vox finally calmed down but his screen was glowing a light pink under his eyes as if the TV overlord was blushing. “Really? Heh, of course, Doll. I did this for you after all. In fact,” Vox smirked and tossed the boom box aside. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
You felt your cheeks warm at Vox’s confession and it took a light nudge from Angel dust to snap you out of your reverie. “I’d love to Vox!” 
Vox’s smirk widened into a full grin. Maybe coming out to this shitty hotel wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Welp, hope you enjoyed! I know I had fun with this one. Have an awesome day/night my little Rebels!
And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!
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Text
Wish You Were Sober
fratboyharry x friend!reader Inspired by the lyrics of Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray
Warnings: angst, alcohol, weed, frat party, no mention of gender, idk.
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You never really wanted to come to these parties. Maybe the first few in the beginning of the semester, but you grew tired of them quickly.
Beer, weed, loud music, and sweaty bodies. The bathrooms were always trashed and the floor was always sticky, but you still spent your Friday nights in these humid frat houses. Not for your personal benefit, but for Harry.
"Is he really worth it?" Your roommate, Gianna asked. You were on one of the couches in the living room. Her boyfriend, Danny, was on her other side with his arm lazily slung over her shoulder, scrolling through his phone.
You sank further back into the couch. Your eyes hadn't moved away from Harry in minutes. He was leaned against a wall in black jeans and a dark henley, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the buttons unfastened, exposing his chest. A red flannel was tied around his waist, he'd taken it off within the first half hour of you two arriving.
He looked too good, he always did. His eyes were bright, his hair was perfect. His smile was killer, though the only thing killing you was that it wasn't being sent your way. The girl he'd been chatting up all night was the lucky recipient.
The girl, Piper, was in one of your smaller classes. She was pretty, you understood why Harry liked her. She was sweet and genuine but fuck, did you wish you could hate her.
They looked cute together, you guessed. She stood in front of him, drink in hand as she effortlessly flirted back. You watched as she shrieked something that he laughed at before they switched drinks and took a sip. They both pulled a face before switching back. You shook your head and finally looked away.
"Is who worth what?" You played dumb, turning to Gianna.
"Is Harry worth pining over? You follow him around like a lovesick puppy and he just keeps dragging you behind him," she tsked, sipping her seltzer.
You ran your thumb over the rim of your drink can and bit your cheek before answering. You and Harry became friends at an involvement fair at orientation over the summer. You were instantly smitten, but you never told him and he acted like he didn't notice.
"He's a good friend to me," you replied, shrugging.
"Is he? He's gotta know you like him, and he plays with your feelings anyway," she told you.
"He doesn't know," you shook your head, though you didn't put any effort into hiding your staring or blushing.
"He uses your feelings against you. He drags you out to these parties, he gets drunk, he knows you'll always take care of him," she sat up, staring down at you.
"He's just drunk, it's not intentional," you responded with a shake of your head, though you didn't know why you were excusing his behavior. She wasn't wrong.
"Either way it's fucked up. It's happened too many times. He brings you to these stupid parties you don't like, he flirts with other girls in your face, he gets too drunk, and you always sign up to take him home. Plus he tries to bone you when his flavor of the night won't fuck him 'cause he's hammered," she ranted. "You deserve better."
"I know," you dropped your head into your palm. You did deserve better. "I gotta get over him."
"Go get another drink, and go dance or flirt or I don't know, just don't look at him again. He'll be just fine without you," she shooed.
You lazily got off the sofa, making a point to look everywhere except the corner of the room Harry was currently occupying.
"Okay, I'm going," you nodded, setting your empty can beside the pile of them on the side table.
"'Atta girl," Gianna whooped. Your first stop was the kitchen, you grabbed your second seltzer of the night from a cooler before stepping out into the backyard.
The cool air of October nipped at your nose and the exposed skin of your knees. The back deck had been converted into a beer pong arena, people were crowded around the white folding table. You bypassed the mass of people and headed toward the bonfire in the yard.
"You mind if I sit here?" You asked, pointing to an empty folding chair beside some guy you'd never seen before.
"Not at all," he shook his head. His voice was lazy and his eyes were red tinted and heavy.
"Thanks," you nodded. You stared into the fire pit as the few other people in the circle conversed.
"You smoke?" The guy from before asked, holding a half-smoked joint out.
"Sometimes," you shrugged, accepting it. You brought it to your lips and sucked in a deep breath, feeling the smoke fill your lungs.
"You seem sad," he observed, taking the joint from between your fingers and hitting it himself. You exhaled.
"Maybe I am," you shrugged. He blew a cloud of smoke in the other direction before turning to face you again.
"How come?" He asked, handing you the joint. You took another hit, held it, then exhaled before you replied.
"I don't even know your name," you said, still blowing smoke. You handed him the joint again.
"I'm Zayn," he smiled before batting his long eyelashes. You told him your name before finally answering his question.
"I'm desperately in love with one of my friends, but he couldn't care less. My roommate thinks he's stringing me along, and honestly she might be right," you admitted. You sat back in your chair as the buzz from the weed startled to settle in.
"Damn," he hit the joint once more before he passed it off to the girl a few seats over from him.
"Damn indeed," you nodded.
"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, you could feel his eyes on the side of your face even though yours hadn't moved from the flames.
"Not particularly," you answered. If you talked about it, you might cry. You saw him nod in your peripheral before he turned to face the fire as well.
The two of you sat side by side, the crackle of the fire and the cheers of the cup pong club were the only sounds in the air. You weren't sure how long you were sitting there. You weren't exceptionally high, but definitely buzzed. Your drink was almost empty by now, the alcohol in your system only providing a slight buzz as well.
"I'm gonna go get another beer, you want anything?" Zayn asked, rising from his seat.
"I'm okay," you shook your head. He nodded before walking off.
He returned a few minutes later, beer in hand and a couple trailing behind him. The girl, who you now realized was Piper, was holding Harry up. He was behind her, slumped over her shoulders.
"These two were walking around calling your name, I told them you were out here," Zayn said as he plopped down into his seat again.
"Harry's hammered. I asked him who he trusted to take him home and he said your name," Piper explained. She gestured to the boy behind her who stood up upon the mention of his name.
"This your friend?" Zayn asked. You nodded.
"Okay, I'll uh-- I'll get him back to the dorms," you stood, suddenly thankful you hadn't taken another hit.
"Thanks. I would do it but I don't know which building he's in," she smiled, patting Harry on the arm.
"Why can't we go back to your place?" He slurred, looking to Piper, who giggled.
"Because you're too drunk," she told him. "Call me tomorrow, if you can remember."
"Oh I will," he pointed. Piper waved at you before walking back to the house.
"Hey," you felt Zayn's hand wrap around your wrist. "Don't get strung along."
You didn't say anything, just nodded. You grabbed Harry's arm and wrapped it around your neck so you could help him walk.
"Hiiiiii," he cheesed, starting to walk with you.
"Hey, Harry," you sighed.
"Can I hit that joint I saw back there?" He asked, jabbing his thumb back in the direction of the bonfire.
"Absolutely not," you shook your head as you walked alongside the house.
The two of you stumbled down the street, Harry babbling incoherently and you trying to lug him just a few blocks further.
"You're so nice," he hummed, tripping on every third or fourth step he took.
"I know," you sighed, disappointed with yourself.
The two of you eventually made it to the dorm hall, slowly climbing the few steps ahead of the door. You had to instruct Harry on which leg to lift when.
"You're so pretty too," he added. You shook your head and let it roll off of your back, he always started with that. You pulled him into the building and dragged him to the elevator. The two of you leaned against the back wall after you hit the button for your floor.
"I think I might be a little drunk," he giggled. You wanted to laugh with him, but you couldn't.
"Maybe," you simply replied. The doors opened after a minute or so. You stood up again, letting Harry's weight fall back on you once again.
You walked down his hallway, stopping at his door. He mumbled something about this looking like his room as you punched his code in and opened the door.
You dropped him on his bed, his roommate gone like usual. Harry fell back onto his mattress, his fingers sliding down your arm until they grasped your hand.
"You should lay down with me," he suggested, patting the small space beside him with his other hand.
"No, Harry," you shook your head and pulled your hand from his. You moved to his dresser and grabbed his water bottle.
"C'mon, please," he begged. You sat down on the corner of his bed and held his water out.
"No. Just drink some water," you sighed. This was how it usually went. You would bring him home and he would try to pull you into his bed. You wouldn't ever take advantage of him, but it somehow felt like he was trying to take advantage of your kindness and love for him.
"Okay, okay," he nodded before he clumsily sat up beside you. He grabbed the bottle from your hands and took a small sip.
"More," you urged, wanting to leave this entire situation. You pledged to never accept a party invitation from him ever again. Gianna and Zayn were right. You can't keep getting caught up in your own one sided feelings and let yourself get dragged behind him.
"I'll drink this whole thing if you let me fuck you," he said, leaning closer. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky sigh, the smell of alcohol mixed with his cologne consuming you. You jumped when his lips met your jaw.
"Harry, I'm not gonna fuck you," you shoved him away gently. You still hadn't opened your eyes.
"Why not?" He leaned in again, this time speaking lowly into your ear. "We both know you want it."
You shook your head again and shoved him back a little harder this time. You stood from the bed and tried to breathe calmly, but you were honestly at your breaking point.
"Is that all I am to you?" You asked, not turning around to look at him yet.
"What do you mean?" He slurred, reminding you just how drunk he was.
"I can't keep doing this, Harry. I can't keep letting you drag me around. It's not good for me anymore, not that it ever was," you started, turning around to look at him.
"I'm sick of watching you parade other girls around all night. I'm sick of still being a good friend and taking you home when you're too drunk to walk. And I'm extremely tired of you toying with me when your first choice won't have sex with your drunk ass," you huffed, frustrated tears pooling in your eyes. "It's exhausting, and I'm tired of it. I deserve to be called pretty when you're sober."
You looked down at Harry, watching him stare back up at you. He seemed a little less drunk than he was before. He blinked a few times, running a hand through his hair.
"I'm a shitty friend," he shook his head, setting his water down on the floor.
"You're not, Harry. Most of the time you're great. Honestly, it's not your fault. It wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't hopelessly in love with you," you bravely confessed. You figured he wouldn't remember it anyway.
"It is my fault, though. I knew you liked me and I still said all that terrible stuff to you," he spoke. You wiped your tears away with the heels of your hands, even though fresh ones replaced them almost immediately.
"God, Harry. I think I need to be away from you for awhile," you said, blowing out a shaky breath. He didn't say anything, just nodded.
"Are you going to remember this in the morning? You usually don't."
"Do we have this conversation often?" He glanced up at you with a hiccup.
"No, not the conversation. You usually try to get in my pants though," you grabbed a bottle of painkillers and set them on the table by his bed.
"I'm sorry," he fell back onto his mattress again, clearly exhausted. He rubbed his eyes.
"I know," you stated, pulling the door open.
"I wish I was sober for this conversation," he sighed, turning onto his side.
"I wish you were sober too," you walked out.
Masterlist
Part 2
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slothyykittee · 4 months
Text
Re-write of Seeing Stars
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TW: CHILD MISTREATMENT
As someone who has abusive and neglectful parents, Octavia has send me back to home. And yet, the fact that narrative is using her as a device to make Stolas more sympathetic was a bit triggering.
My dad have used me against my mom, saying how he's the breadwinner, and that he works hard to give me food, water and shelter, even though that's the bare minimum to take care of a child. He managed to make other people sympathetic to him, and saw me as a burden and another mouth to feed.
After watching Seeing Stars, I was very disappointed. The fact that Loona was exusing Stolas' behaviour is astonishing.
In my rewrite, Loona found Via sitting there, crying, and went to check on her.
"What's wrong?" Loona asked. Via noticed her, wiping her tears, and said "I'm.... fine."
"You are not. It's OK, I'm with you."
Loona sat besides Via. "Tell me."
"It's... it's supposed to be the day I will see the meteors, but my dad keeps shouting at Mom and broke his promise! I waited all these years for nothing! Why... *Why does he hate her more than he loves me?*"
Loona sighed. "I'm.... sorry Via... I'm...."
"And why he keep talking to that imp??"
"Oh Blitz? That's my dad."
Octavia raised an eyebrow.
"My adoptive dad." Loona continued. "Anyway, Via, I'm sorry, but your dad seems like a jerk, I just... it's that I already see him interacting with my dad, and the fact here, my dad only does this because he wants the... book" Loona points to the gimore next to Octavia.
"That is what keeps our business going." Loona puts her hand on Via's shoulder "The good thing is, you can get out from that shitsack and hang out with me instead."
"I-"
"You can tell your dad, he will accept anyway."
Octavia starts crying again. "I... never had a friend before.."
"Well, today's your lucky day!" Loona replied.
"Come on, you are ready?"
Via went down, followed by Loona
And...
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hugged.
-
This is what I expected, and instead got excuses, excuses... on the actual episode. Viv would have used this episode to tell a heartwarming story, two survivors finding each other, becoming friends, and having fun despite their circumstances. She didn't do this. And for what? A gay ship that people can tell is toxic? Because Stolas is her pet, and so defends him? Sadly, this potential is yet again lost. And clearly, Octavia is sidelined unless to prop up her dad. We know this because in "Look My Way" the original lyrics for Octavia got removed.
I don't see much hope for either HH or HB. I hope this is a lesson for writers out there, to not repeat the mistakes Viv did.
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Note
Lyrics: Nothing fucks with my baby/Nothing can get a look in on my baby (NFWMB -Hozier)
Character: August Walker (maybe he’s mean but over protective)
Take Care of You
Warnings: needles, self-doubt, illness, and some possible unmentioned triggers.
Character: August Walker
Summary: You try to feel better with the help of your new boyfriend.
I hope I didn't go too far out to the left with his.
As always, I appreciate all kinds of feedback. A like and reblog means so much to me! <3
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“Make sure you finish your tea, honey,” his deep voice rumbles through you, the heat between your palms seeping through the prevalent chill. “It’ll make you feel better.”
You groan and sink back into the pillows, cradling the porcelain as the steam wafts up your nose. You rest it daintily above your chest. “I don’t feel like I’ll ever be better, Auggy,” you moan, “every day, I just feel worse and worse.”
He gives a tight-lipped smile, bittersweet even. He brings his fingers up to tickle the hair above his lip. Your ears pulse and your bones ache. You’ve never felt this sort of fatigue. You’re exhausted yet all you do is sleep.
“You will, I know you will,” he sits on the edge of the bed, “but we gotta listen to the professionals, right? Dr. Kemp knows what he’s talking about, okay?”
“I’m so lucky,” you cough and your head lolls as you wet your dry tongue, “so lucky to have you here…” you lift your head and raise the mug shakily. You blow across the tea before sipping it. It’s stringent but soothing.
“Of course,” he takes the script from the night table. You remember Dr. Kemp, handsome with  a swoop in his hair. “I’m lucky to be here for you, you know that.”
“N-nooo,” you shake your head weakly, “no, I… I hate to think you’re missing work for me.”
“Doctor’s orders, can’t leave you alone.”
You take another drink and stare into the orange depth. He rubs your leg and slowly retracts his hand to touch the bottom of your mug, “here, we should put this down. Just until you have your medicine.”
“Oh,” you let him take the cup but can’t hide your anxiety, “do I have to? Can’t I just have some more tylenol?”
“It’s not helping, kitten. You have to do this.”
You cringe and give a quick peak to the wrapped syringe. Oh, you hate needles. You pout and stifle a sob.
“It’s just a small prick,” he assures you as he grabs the vial.
“No, it’s not that,” you recline again, deflated, “I’m so tired of this. Of being sick. I just feel so helpless.” Your head drifts to the side, “I feel like a burden. Auggy, it’s barely three months and you’re already taking care of my like some… some old lady.”
“Shhh,” he hushes you softly, “it’s okay. You’re going to get better. You have to,” he peels away the wrapper from the syringe, “because I’m gonna take you on the best date of your life. Just like I promised.”
“Heh,” you force out a weak laugh, “you better…”
You watch him draw from the vial with the long tip of the needle. He pulls it out and you meet his gaze. You give a nervous grimace.
“What is your perfect date?” He asks, “tell me everything you ever dreamt of.”
He rests his hand on your arm and rubs it. You know he’s distracting you. You need that. You take the bait.
“Hmm, well, flowers. I love flowers. Sunflowers are nice but I guess roses are more romantic…” you look up as you think. He caresses your forearm. He’s so nice, so supportive, and it feels so unreal. You feel like you barely know him but he always knows exactly what you need.
He hums as he listens; the ferris wheel piques his attention as he tilts his head. As you weigh the option of a boat ride out load, you feel a prick and give a yipe. He quickly presses his thumb to your arm and removes the needle tip. You look down and whimper.
“All done, wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“No,” you answer as you wiggle your fingers.
“See, I told you. You got this,” he looks you in the face as he sets the needle aside. He leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Finish your tea.”
He stands up and gathers up the mess, capping the needle with the plastic sheath before crunching up the wrappers. You look away. You’re so pathetic. He has to do everything. You just can’t get used to that. You weren’t like this before. You never got sick. Ever.
Not until you met him.
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malice-ov-mercy · 6 months
Text
Hedonist
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader
Content warnings: 18+!, implied cheating, fingering (more like rubbing)
This was a request from my lyric prompt list:
@concretenoah asked for #7
“I love the look on your face when I’m tempting you.”
A/N: This kinda got away from me, but I’m not complaining.
Word count: 649
Tag list: @circle-with-me
If you would like to be added, please let me know for who! If you tell me everyone/everything, just know that ALSO includes anything I may write for Will Ramos.
————————————
Noah masterlist
————————————
“Noah, we can’t do this…”
Noah held her chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting her head so she could look at nothing but him. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. He reveled in the way she ogled him. He loved seeing how much her eyes betrayed her words. Her desire was clouding her logic.
“Hm,” he hummed, tugging her bottom lip. “Your face is telling me something else.”
He ghosted his lips over hers, her surprised gasp made his lips curve into a smug smirk. Noah made no move to kiss her, just simply teased her with the temptation. She was weak to him and they both knew it. Noah felt the tickle of her lashes against his cheek. He licked his lips with a smile—licking hers in the process. Noah pressed closer to her, sliding his knee between her legs. A small whine escaped her.
“You know,” Noah spoke against her mouth, then moved his lips to her ear. “You’re not subtle in the way you look at me.”
His hand rested at her waist. He felt her tense under him as he splayed his fingers over her stomach. Noah used his other hand to grab her chin again and force her to look at him. Her lips were parted and her eyes were glazed over with lust. The hand on her stomach kneaded delicately. Her breathing was heavy.
“If you want me to stop, push me away.” Noah whispered against her lips. “You have the control here, not me.”
“I—“
She grabbed his hand when he slid it lower towards her waistband. Noah stopped, but didn’t remove his hand. He watched her. He could almost see the gears turning in her head, hastily weighing her options and their consequences.
“Goddammit Noah,” she huffed, gripping his hand tight. “You’re fucking with my head.”
He couldn’t help his chuckle.
“Don’t blame me now.” Noah walked his fingers a little lower and stopped again. “You eyefuck me constantly.”
“I do no—“
“Oh yes you do.” He snapped back, his fingers now at the waistband of her leggings. “I’m giving you one last chance before I make this decision for you.”
Noah slipped his hand into her leggings.
“How wet are you, I wonder?”
He hummed delightedly, feeling the dampness through her panties. He pressed a finger to her clit and bit his lip with a smirk as her eyes closed with a deep, almost angry sigh.
“You’re so cute, acting like you don’t like me touching you.”
“Fuck you, Noah.”
“We’ll see if we get that far, though with that attitude you’ll be lucky to get a proper finger fuck.”
Noah continued to run a finger over her contained wetness. He wanted to plunge his fingers inside her so bad, but he liked the idea of rubbing her through her slick stained underwear more. He moved his fingers back over her clit and started lazily rubbing. She bit her lip to keep from moaning.
“You can push me away at any time.” He kissed the space just below her earlobe. “I won’t be upset, but you might be.”
Noah moved his fingers a little faster as she tried to work with him.
“There you go,” he praised, “Grind some more.”
She obeyed quickly, prompting Noah to pick up his pace. Her breathing started to falter. He watched the way her face contorted and twisted the closer she got. She came with a quiet curse. Noah rubbed her through it, coaxing her breathing along. He left his hand in her pants, gently petting his hand over her now very wet panties.
“Thank you for letting me make your choice for you.” He kissed her neck.
“I fucking hate you.” She said between breaths.
Noah chuckled then bit her throat.
“You absolutely don’t,” he bit her again. “But I’m down for a quick hate fuck if you are.”
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starsandhughes · 1 year
Text
Paper Rings— Jamie Drysdale
request: “paper rings + jamie drysdale pls im begging”
i’m trying something new bc i have writers block! (ps i used mainly my own photos bc i hate finding the vibes on pinterest)
warnings: smoking🍃, some swears
a/n i didn’t use all the lyrics to this
MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~~
The moon is high
Like your friends were the night that we first met
Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet
Now I've read all of the books beside your bed
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, trevorzegras, and 1,622 others
yourusername “come to a party,” they said. “you’ll have fun!” they said. (“they” is my best friend and she was in fact right— i did have fun!)
nice meeting ya, hockey boys ;) i’ll try to not smoke you out next time!
tagged bestiejordan, jamie.drysdale, and trevorzegras
view all 107 comments
bestiejordan all hail the queen of rolling🙌
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trevorzegras @/yourusername does that rule not apply to you or…
bestiejordan @/trevorzegras no, she does whatever she wants
friend1 okay i see you, i see you, miss girl! you get that fluffy brunette!!
yourusername @/jamie.drysdale you down?
jamie.drysdale @/yourusername i’m down
jamie.drysdale i’d let you smoke me out again if it means i get to see you again ;)
yourusername bold aren’t we, drysdale?
trevorzegras i pressed send he was gonna delete it
yourusername bold aren’t we, drysdale’s roommate?
The wine is cold
Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street
Cat and mouse for a month or two or three
Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe
Jamie hasn’t texted you since that morning after the party. You normally wouldn’t care— one night party friends weren’t something out of the ordinary for you. But Jamie felt different. At least, you wanted him to be different.
“Babe, he’s just a boy,” your best friend, jordan, sighed.
“He’s not, though!” you groaned into your pillow. “He’s different. He’s intriguing!”
“And dark and mysterious?” Jordan teased you, flopping down on the bed next to you.
“Shut up,” you laughed. “It’s been three days!”
“So text him first. Trevor told me he can be shy most of the time. He just happens to be talkative while high,” Jordan suggested.
“I can do that?”
“Yeah, babe,” Jordan cracked up, “you can do that.”
yourusername
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yourusername got my boyfriend’s autograph today!!(he actually signed a contract stating he MUST legally cuddle with me anytime i want)
p.s. you’ve got a loooooot of fans, j! but i’ll always be your number 2 fan❤️(@/trevorzegras threatened to cut my hair off if i didn’t address that he is jamie’s number 1 fan)
tagged jamie.drysdale
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jamie.drysdale you were truly the prettiest girl in my line😘
bestiejordan boooo compliment her personality, not her looks!!
jamie.drysdale you were truly the kindest, funniest, and coolest girl in my line
trevorzegras that’s so much worse
yourusername ur lucky ur cute, drysdale! (thank you to all the compliments ur too sweet <3)
fan1 JAMIE GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!?
fan2 i am a bit thrown off but i’ll be damned if this isn’t cute
trevorzegras you’ll never replace me as jimmy’s number one fan😈
yourusername watch me, zegras
jamie.drysdale i’d like to watch her
trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale traitor!
bestiejordan not pictured: y/n combing through jamie’s hair and watching him sleep bc she’s a weird stalker
yourusername says the one who watched me do that
jamie.drysdale i think it’s cute! i loved my head scratchies
trevorzegras i think i’m gonna vomit
bestiejordan @/trevorzegras i already did
Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night
Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright
Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life
You trudged up the steps to the front door of Jamie and Trevor’s house with your backpack practically falling off your body. When Jamie opened the door to let you in, you face planted into his chest, groaning.
“Well hello to you, too, y/n/n,” Jamie laughed. He slid off your backpack the rest of the way and pulled your arms up to wrap around his waist. He pulled you closer and began to rub your back uo and down, resting his head atop of yours for extra contact. “Rough night at school?”
You were enrolled in night classes at a local university so that you could work in order to pay for said classes, and… ya know… live.
“‘Rough’ is an understatement,” you groaned as you hugged him tighter. “I failed my test, I was late because I ran out of gas, I completely forgot about a homework assignment, which means I’ll get a zero for that, and work was just annoying overall.”
Jamie kissed the top of your head and increased the pressure of his back rubs.
“Look up,” he told you. You did what he asked, although a little confused as to why. Your question was answered when he brought up a hand to your cheek and kissed you softly.
“What was that for, Drysdale?” you asked smiling.
“Because you’ve had a long night,” he answered. He tilted your head up and kissed you again. “And that was so you know it’ll be alright.”
Your smile grew even wider as your boyfriend’s sweet words. You took a turn to bring him down for a kiss, “and what was that for, y/l/n?”
“I’ve waited my whole life for you. I don’t want to waste another second not kissing you,” you replied softly, messily playing with the ends of his hair.
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
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yourusername jamie gave me a wish flower and told me to close my eyes and make a wish. i wished for forever, and when i opened my eyes, he had a ring box in his hand. i used to not be one for heart shaped jewelry, which he knew, but when he told me it’s a promise for us to hold each other’s hearts forever, i couldn’t help but change my mind. i am now pro heart shaped jewelry because of this boy❤️
happy one year, drysdale! i love you more than words
tagged jamie.drysdale
jamie.drysdale love doesn’t even begin to cover my feelings for you, y/l/n. but since it’s all the english language gives us, i promise to love you forever❤️
yourusername somebody’s been reading my poetry books
trevorzegras @/yourusername he bought his own copies and tabs ones that remind him of you. it makes me sick
jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras and why do you know this?
yourusername @/jamie.drysdale he reads them and sends pictures to jordan
trevorzegras @/bestiejordan blabber mouth
bestiejordan @/jamie.drysdale you better take care of her! congratulations you two! you make me and z sick <3
jamie.drysdale i intend to for the rest of my life
yourusername besties just get together already
bestiejordan @/trevorzegras you down?
trevorzegras @/bestiejordan i’m down
I want to drive away with you
I want your complications too
I want your dreary Mondays
Wrap your arms around me, baby boy
Trevor had to go on a roadie shortly after Jamie’s shoulder surgery, and he was freaking out a bit about leaving him.
“Z, my love, I already practically live here and wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. I think I can take care of our boyfriend,” you joked. Trevor glared at you for that, but he took a deep breath and nodded, “yeah, yeah okay. You’re right. I just…”
You wrapped up the boy who had become one of your best friends into a hug.
“I’ve got him,” you whispered.
Jordan let herself into the house next and sneaked a picture of you and her boyfriend before announcing her presence, “is he freaking out again?”
“I don’t think he has any other setting.”
Jordan shook her head laughing as she walked over to take her boyfriend from you, “Y/N practically nursed you back to health when you were sick, Z. She can remember to give Jamie his pain medication and enforce all of the doctor’s rules on him. So go wake him up for meds one last time and say your goodbyes.”
Trevor kissed her head and nodded before parading up the stairs to Jamie’s room, with you two following behind. You were fiddling with your promise ring when you entered the room. Trevor was lightly shaking his best friend awake and you sat down on the other side of the bed to help ease him into a sitting position. Once Jamie took his pills, Trevor gave him a very cautious and gentle hug goodbye and took Jordan’s hand to leave you two alone.
“Be good to him!” Trevor called out.
“I always will, Zegras!”
You maneuvered yourself to sit behind Jamie and let him rest his head on your chest. Your breathing synced together as you ran your fingers through his hair.
“Is he okay?” Jamie asked groggily.
“Yeah, just a baby freak out. Jordan’s driving him to the plane strip, so any further conundrums can be handled by her,” you told him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m okay,” you kissed the top of his head. “Can I get you anything?”
“Stay,” he whispered.
“Always.”
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings
You're the one I want
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Darling, you're the one I want
yourusername
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yourusername i met you at a party i didn’t want to go to. ever since, my entire world has shifted with you at the center of it. we’ve been through a lot, but everything was made easier with you by my side.
today, i became y/n drysdale, and we threw a party that i did in fact want to go to. i’m down for anything when it comes to you, jamie, and i’m especially down for forever. i love you❤️
thank you to everyone that made this day magical!
tagged jamie.drysdale, bestiejordan, trevorzegras, and others
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jamie.drysdale bold aren’t we, drysdale? i love you!
yourusername i’ll cry right now
trevorzegras congratulations mr. and mrs. drysdale!
yourusername thank you, z <3
trevorzegras anytime, bestie’s wife <3
jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras that’s her contact name now, isn’t it?
trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale yes :)
bestiejordan hit my crying quota today because of you two❤️ congratulations! look at how far you’ve come! you went from whining that he hadn’t called you, to making me and z give speeches. what a beautiful evolution!
yourusername your speech was amazing, beautiful!
trevorzegras @/yourusername stop flirting with my girlfriend! you have a husband!
jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras flirt more to compensate
trevorzegras if that’s what the groom wants🫡
anaheimducks congratulations you two!
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