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dreamkidddream · 2 years

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No. 7 from the fanfic troupes with Dazai pls 🙏✨

Everytime I think of the roommate trope I think of vine lmao. Reader is gender neutral!

Update: I was suppose to post this last night and I passed out instead my bad yall 😭😭😭

CW: minor language, mentions of suicide (cause it’s Dazai) but nothing graphic is mentioned

“And They Were Roommates” Trope with Dazai!

Dream’s 800 Follower Special 📖

Your roommate was… very eccentric, to say the least. That was the nicest way you could put it.

He’s a horrible cook, he uses almost the whole bottle of detergent and doesn’t tell you, takes forever in the bathroom, and you have caught him on more than one occasion trying some new concoction or method to try and leave this world (which scared the hell out of you at first, but now you just scold him for wasting money and out of concern for his mental state).

But he does pay his share of rent and bills on time, he offers to share his bottle of alcohol with you, he’s somehow always find a way to make you crack a smile even when he knows that you’re irritated. He’s made it more…lively here. From your experiences of having past roommates, he’s been the best one you had which is very surprising. Does he have moments that make you very tempted to smother him with his pillow (which he would encourage no doubt)? Of course. But then you think about how fun your life has been recently and how you can’t picture living with anyone else, and the thought goes away.

But something changed recently. You started to notice more about him.

How contagious his genuine laugh was, how the simplest touch made your heart race, how much butterflies you get in your stomach just hearing him say your name- the list could go on and on honestly. You weren’t expecting this arrangement to be like this when you agreed for him to move in- just another body that’s here to find a cheap place to live and that’s it. That was until he came and introduced you to something new, something refreshing, and you weren’t mad that you were proven wrong for once.

The prank wars, unplanned movie nights, late night talks that left you both vulnerable- it was all so refreshing and he helped you welcome it all in. What started out as a business agreement with strangers came to bloom something beautiful between you two, something special. You were smiling a lot more these days because of him, and it made you feel so light inside. It was like you guys were already a couple and-

Then you realized what was happening and your heart sank.

“Oh no.”

“Hm? Everything okay?”

And your situation was only worsening when you heard Dazai’s voice, and you choked when you saw how close he was (he still didn’t understand the concept of personal space). He looked curious and he wouldn’t stop leaning in-

“IgottagoBYE!”

He moved back when you rushed to your room and slammed the door. And you lost count of how many times you screamed into your pillow that night.

Before you made what is possibly the worst decision of your life, you did the responsible thing as an adult- and hid yourself away until you were convinced that your feelings were just temporary. Except that they never went away, and only grew stronger. But just as they grew, so did your pain- you’ve been distancing yourself from him until you get your head together. You can’t fall in love with him, he’s your roommate! Getting your heart broken and then having to live together was a nightmare that you’ve seen come true too many times, and that was not a risk you were willing to take. You weren’t even planning on being this close with him to begin with!

Besides, you doubt that he would even look at you the same way. If anything, you would just be wasting his time, so why not save yourself the heartache now? You weren’t in middle school anymore, you didn’t have time for fleeting crushes. You’re an adult now that has to face the reality that the advice to follow your heart doesn’t always work and that’s okay. It’s time to wake up from this little fantasy and get back into the real world. Just keep acting like everything is normal, like nothing is wrong, like you’re not falling in deeper and deeper each day, and everything will turn out fine.

—

Everything is not turning out fine.

You and Dazai are just roommates- yep. Just roommates. It wasn’t uncommon for roommates to be laying on each other when watching a movie. Nope, it’s totally common to do this between friends.

And it’s not weird for how he pulled you into a random dance, gliding and holding you in his arms so gentle. He’s just messing with you like always, even if you haven’t laughed like this in a while and didn’t want it to end.

It’s definitely not out of place for what you hear through the walls too. The walls are paper thin, so of course you would hear some of the things he said (but the way your heart felt like it was going to give out at any second when you swear that you heard your name escape from his lips among other things). All normal in your eyes- YEP HAHA. Totally no romantic feelings involved, NOPE.

How you got roped into drinking with him after coming in so late from work still remained a mystery.

Drinking with Dazai wasn’t uncommon, and he already shuffled you to the table and into a chair and poured you a glass before you could even open your mouth. And honestly, you needed the drink to somewhat drown out the troubles of work and your love life. He knew what he was doing- he wasn’t sneaky in getting your favorite brand either. Sly bastard.

The warmth was already soaking into your body from your first glass. It felt nice to chat with him like this, with no stress hanging over your head (at least for the time being anyway). It’s easy to forget about your worries when you’re with him, and alcohol doesn’t even have to be included.

“What is it with you and bothering that Kunikida guy?”

“Can you blame me? It’s free entertainment! You would do it too if you could see how he reacts. It never fails in making my day less boring.” He poured more into your cup, then propped his head on his arm. “One day I’ll take you to the agency so you could see for yourself.”

“Mhm, sure. Looking forward to it.” You sipped on your drink, feeling the tingling sensation in your throat. Glancing at the clock, you saw how late it was getting. Standing up and stretching, you thought it was time to make your leave before you let something slip out that you don’t mean to say, “Well alright. I stayed up past my bedtime, and my bed is calling my name. Try not to stay up too late tonight, okay?”

“Ah, still so caring, even when I don’t deserve it.” He swirled his glass around. “And leaving me so soon? The night is still so young, and there’s still so much I want to talk with you about.”

“Like what? What new ideas you’re gonna torment your coworker with?” You chuckled.

“No, about us.”

That caused you to freeze. You almost choked on your spit, and you’re grateful that you’re faced away from him. “Us?” You gulped. “What is- what is there to talk about?”

“A lot if you would give me the time. There’s so much to say about us.”

“I mean- not really. We’re just roommates, that’s all.”

The silence in the room grew that came after was damning.

“Just roommates?” You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and meet his eyes, and you could just feel his own burning into your skin. “Really? Nothing else?”

“I mean we’re friends too- yeah. Just- roommates that became friends. Yeah, roommates turned into friends turned into BFFs. That’s what I would call it. Just really close roommates/friends.” Keep your head together, don’t ramble, don’t ramble-

“I see.” And it was quiet after that, and you are trying your best not to squirm. Why did you have to make this so awkward. You turned around and gave him a quick wave, taking increasing steps backwards to your room. “Well, it’s really late so I’ll see in the morning Dazai-“

“Then I haven’t been very clear with you then.”

You did choke on your spit at that moment. “…huh? I don’t- I don’t understand.”

When he placed his glass down and stood up, you just stood there mouth agape. When he made his way to you, you were convinced that you were going to collapse at any second. You weren’t drunk, you’re still coherent enough to know what’s going on, to know how close he was getting- you should’ve made the move to push him away. But how could you when it felt so nice to link your hands together with his? So right?

The look he’s giving you- it’s so soft. His chestnut orbs have this affectionate glow to it, one that made you think you were dreaming, that this couldn’t be happening. You wanted to sink into his touch, you wanted to bolt back to your room, you didn’t want this moment to end- your emotions were all over the place.

“You don’t have to feign ignorance you know. The walls aren’t exactly thick, and I must say- if the last thing I heard was my name falling from your lips, I would die a happy man, especially knowing that my affections were returned.”

“Returned?” You said in a small voice.

Dazai just laughed again, and leaned in closer, nose brushing against yours. “Why of course. I would be a fool to deny them, and a bigger one to let you slip away.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and your heart soared at his words. But the little doubt in the back of your head had you second guessing.

But what if I mess this up? What if I lose you?

“You won’t. If anything, I’m the one who should be concerned about losing you.” His hand caressed your cheek. You flinched- you didn’t mean to say that out loud!

You couldn’t even look him in the eyes, but he titled your chin up to do so anyway. “I’m more than willing to take the chance. To have you in my arms before I leave this world is a chance I will always take if you allow me to.” When his eyes flickered between your own down to your lips, you closed the distance and hoped that you didn’t come to regret it.

And as time passed, you didn’t come to regret anything at all.

#dream’s 800 follower special 📖#bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bsd dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs x reader

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apparentlyaswarmofbees · 3 years

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Uh, I saw your Obey me scenarios post (An Mc being names Lucifer) so If is not much of a problem could you make the same dinamic but with the name Lilith? (My parents were really edgy teens and made my second first name Lilith) oh and also if if isnt a problem could it be a gn!Mc?

In my guidelines I already stated that the MC will always be gender neutral

And it's not really an edgy name? Lolololol

It's both pretty and powerful, and it becomes both soft and charming if you shorten it to Lily, and there are so many lilys around the world!!

I personally love the spider lily!

One of MC's Names is Lilith

Basically I am gonna make MC's middle name Lilith!

Warning: uncensored swearing and SPOILERS FOR BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 1

Lucifer

This bitch would love to say it was all a mere coincidence that the paper that flutered under his foot was of someone who had 'Lilith' of all names as part of their own.

But you bet that somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this could be way more than just a coincidence.

Yes he was going judge the fuck out of you. Was it to see if you could measure to the name? Was it out of his own defensiveness? Because you were a constant, living, reminder of all he has been hiding from his brothers? He didn't know.

You can bet a part of him still thinks of it as his own personal punishment.

Mammon

Definetelly didn't know about it, and it was definetelly because Lucifer chose to not say your full name on purpose to his brothers, and Mammon couldn't care less at the start either way.

His desinterest lasted like, the entire walk from where he was to the council hall to fetch you.

He definetelly would find out on accident, probably while trying to cheat on a test by looking at yours.

He immediatelly understood Lucifer's actions towards you and what he was most likely feeling about it all.

But Mammon himself wouldn't change much though, he would talk to you about it, and in the end he would say something along he lines of: "it feels kind of nice y'know? Like she's watchin' over me."

Leviathan

Would find out either through Mammon or through any of his other brothers (except for Belphie), yes I though about teachers saying your full name but seeing demons have such unique names and only one at that, I believe not even them would be bothered to say your entire name out loud for the class.

He would need quite a bit of time to fully process the information, emotionally that is.

And he would need an ever bigger bit of time after finding out you actually were related to Lilith.

Like seriously what are the odds?!

Another one who thinks of it like a sign of his sister watching over him, though in his mind she was definetelly judging his life choices;;

In reality she definetelly wasn't lol.

Satan

Discovered at some point somehow, connections, remember?

Definetelly deliberated if he should use this as a way to taunt Lucifer, the only thing stopping him being a nagging feeling on the back of his mind that he would be taking things too far.

So he ended up being quiet about it until someone (probably Mammon, chances of actually being Levi, possibly both) actually said it out loud around him, in which his answer would be "yeah I knew".

Satan wouldn't change either, though he was intrigued by the extreme ammount of coincidence of it all. You, a descendant of Lilith, with her name as one of your own, an exchange student in hell, where all her brothers were sent to. You out of possibly at least 320 people around the world who could also have his sister's blood flowing in their veins.

Watch out he might start a conspiracy theory about it that could most likelly be right-

Asmodeus

Most likelly found out through Satan, also kept quiet until someone (the pair of dumbasses two and three) said it out loud.

I feel like he would basically ignore your middle name existed for an even bigger while Levi took to compute the fact that it existed.

He will get to a conclusion at some point, will probably ask for advice from Satan or talk to you about it in an uncharacteristic reluctant fashion.

It's still a sore spot you know? Specially after finding your blood origins.

He would ""get over"" it, or should I say, he will choose to heal alongside you and encourage his brothers to do the same.

Beelzebub

I think your middle name would most likely enter the conversation around the time Beel opened up to you about Lilith and Belphie.

Beel would take that as even more of a sign something else was going on, something was or needed to be changed, and he needed answers.

Third party member of 'it's like my sister is watching over me'. A part of him would have a weight lifted off his heart at the thought it felt like she didn't completelly disappear, but another part of him would be crushed even further by guilt and remorse.

Overall he wouldn't change, it's just one more reason for him to be his protective self over you, but with time he would start actually smiling instead of looking somber whenever your middle name was mentioned.

Belphegor

h o h B O Y

All aboard the pain train, this is going to be a ride.

He would either find out about it when you told him about the conversation you had with Beel or only way after Lesson 16.

But no matter when he finds out, he would still basically feel like he just got dumped in frozen water the moment he got told about it, like a huge fucking warning for him to "not do it" and yet he still did it, and he fucked up.

I still bet he feels most guilty not about killing you per se, but for having Beel almost go through the same thing as the past, if not worse, for a second time.

Overall Belphie would be the most nonchalant about it, fake it until you make it, right?

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jaeminzie · 3 years

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better than words | l.dh

↳ lee haechan x gender neutral!reader

synopsis: finally taking his friends’ advice, the not-so-cunning donghyuck finds a way to show his profound feelings toward his respectfully patient herbology partner.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,226

a/n: lawd it’s been a while since i’ve posted a fic but here it is ! a week delayed from valentine’s but let’s just pretend it’s the 14th :,]

‘better than words’ by one direction

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

like most hufflepuffs, you have a natural interest and talent with every living thing, including plants. herbology is one of the classes that you excell at and enjoy doing. though, the hufflepuff class had to deal with the subject with none other than the slytherins.

students walked into the greenhouse chatting, but soon became quiet once professor sprout called out for your attention, “everyone! in celebration of valentine’s day, i came up with the brilliant idea of hosting a contest! the objective is to successfully cast the herbivicus charm on a rose. this charm is used to rapidly grow whatever plant you desire.” everyone looked at each other warily, completely uninterested in some gardening spell. “since this spell needs precise movements, you will need a partner to help guide you.”

immediately, students began making eye contact with their preferred partners. lee donghyuck turned his head slightly toward your body standing next to him and nibbled his bottom lip. your relationship with donghyuck was rather interesting. being seatmates in this class, you choose to be kind and offer help whenever you see him struggling which would usually not be accepted by the boy. you believed his attitude was because of professor sprout moving him all the way at the front of the class next to you in punishment of being the initiator of constant disruption with his friends stood at the back. you didn’t mind the silence though. but in reality, donghyuck wasn’t sure how to talk to you without being too straightforward as he’s been told many times that he is slightly too shameless. he was afraid to say or do anything that could potentially hurt your feelings when he’d had no intention in doing so.

“to make it easier for everyone, your partner will be the person standing next to you.” professor sprout said her ‘good luck’s’ before dismissing us to work on the assignment. “whoever perfects the charm first wins.” she smiles before heading toward her desk covered in plant roots in the corner.

taking a deep breath before turning to the boy, you greeted him — to which he replied with a simple nod and pursed lips while avoiding eye contact. you cleared your throat at the awkwardness prior to politely asking, “do you want to be the one monitoring me or casting the charm?”

“i’ll cast it.” he grabbed the book placed in front of you and began flipping through the pages loudly. he began examining the words on the brown paper and clicked his tongue, “this will be easy.”

you let out a small laugh, “it looks pretty complicated.” you skimmed through the lines along with him, leaning forward closely in order to see clearly. donghyuck leaned back slightly when he noticed the close distance between your faces. the boy’s heart raced the moment he felt your hair brush against his right cheek. he wanted so badly to slap himself for not being able to contain his feelings.

he crossed his arms, tongue poking the inside of his right cheek in an attempt to not smile, “are you saying i can’t do it?”

“of course not, just be realistic.” your smile faltered when the once-gone awkwardness made its return when the last portion of your sentence came out instinctively. “oh, um, that didn’t come out well. just- i just mean that-”

“don’t.” he said blankly while you slightly pouted at his words since you’ve already failed to maintain a decent conversation barely five minutes in.

you bit your tongue at his response and forced yourself to move on since you wanted nothing more than to disappear from this situation. donghyuck rolled up the sleeves of his oversized green robe the best he could before waving his wand experimentally. “it says to-”

he cuts you off, “i don’t need assistance.” the tiniest quiver of your bottom lip caught his attention before it was directed toward his friends who were making obnoxious kissy faces toward your two distanced bodies. he glared at them before tilting his head slightly when he noticed your hunched figure standing timidly, starting to feel the regret in his unnecessary words. donghyuck cleared his throat and began to follow the instructions written in the book.

you carefully watched donghyuck’s wand, mentally taking notes on the movements. his long fingers delicately held his wooden wand that fits perfectly in his grip and moved it with such grace, creating imaginary loops and curves just how the book had described. “herbivicus.” he breathlessly spoke when he was finishing up the wand movements.

he proved his previous statement when the rose sprout began to flourish steadily. donghyuck turned, unintentionally making his shoulder hit your arm, and walked toward professor sprout. observing from afar, you see the professor’s face brighten when he was done speaking politely with his hands put behind his back. donghyuck nodded before turning to walk back toward your shared working table. gathering enough courage when he got close to you, you asked, “what did she say?”

he walked past you and began tending more flowers planted on the dirt tray behind you without saying a word. at this point, your patience was crippling. “are you just gonna ignore me?”

without even turning his head to face you, he shook his head at your question. “then answer me verbally.”

donghyuck physically melted as his knees felt weaker when hearing your fragile tone trying to be assertive. he moved his wand quicker, trying not to prolong the silence between the two of you. once the wide variety of flowers were fully grown in front of him, he attached them together with a ribbon before taking a deep breath. he’s been told by his friends that actions speak louder than words when asking for advice on courting a person he has interest in. lots of interest. he used to always scoff whenever they’d say that, but his desperation grew over time of not being able to initiate a proper conversation.

donghyuck felt stupid for doing this which was evidently shown through his red face and sweaty palms. he straightened his back and held the flowers with both hands, placing them in front of him.

he turned around to face you teary-eyed, the tears were threatening to spill at any moment. donghyuck’s shoulders and face dropped upon hearing your tiny voice, “why don’t you like me? did i ever offend you? or do i just annoy you?” donghyuck muttered curse words at himself for making you think this way. he placed the flowers on the table by his side and hesitantly hovered his hands over your shoulders, testing the limits. when you didn’t flinch away, he softly rested them on your shoulders, brushing his thumb against the soft fabric of your yellow robe.

“no. . . to all of those.” seeing your flushed cheeks and nose made him want nothing more than to caress your cheeks. he looked around the class and made sure no one could see him pull you two toward the exit located right next to your working station, making sure to bring the flowers and placing them behind his back.

you yelp when donghyuck gently placed you against the brick wall, his hands barely had any grip on your robe like he was afraid to cause any further damage. your breath hitched when he dropped his hands into his pockets and looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. “i’m sorry.”

you furrowed an eyebrow, not knowing how to react at this moment.

“i have a feeling i haven’t been the nicest to you.” he nibbled on his lip while you tried not to chuckle at his statement. “um, it’s stupid but i’m always cautious not to behave a certain way that’ll hurt you by. . . not talking to you at all or cutting our conversations as short as possible.”

he groaned and let his head fall back as he realized how childish and inconsiderate his actions were. your facial features softened as he faced you again with a coy smile. “forgive me, i swear i don’t not like you.”

he laughed breathlessly, “it’s quite the opposite actually.” the now pink-tinted boy’s right hand ran through his hair repeatedly before placing it on the wall behind you. “i’m really sorry.”

you blinked at him. “it’s okay. thank you for explaining, actually.” you cleared your throat. “i’m just glad you don’t hate me or something.”

“so, how would you feel about me liking you?” his once shy smile is now gone and has been replaced with a sly smirk. you were taken back from the sudden change of confidence from the boy.

you shrieked under his strong gaze as he stepped closer to your figure. “oh, i- um. i, i wouldn’t be. . . opposed.” his smirk grew bigger at your answer.

donghyuck took his hand off the walk and stepped back slightly and placed his left hand in front of his chest, showing the bundle of flowers he had tended for you. he stood there holding the bundle of the prettiest flower he chose himself with his still-sweaty palms, and smiling softly causing his still-pink cheeks to round. donghyuck surely held his composure quite well with his smooth comments and actions but the red tinted ears of his were clear even under the dimly lit walkway, giving his nervousness away. “this was what i was doing when you were talking to me.”

he scratched his head with his free hand, “sorry, i was fully immersed. y’know, concentrating.”

you nodded slowly at him. “got it.” you spoke slowly while eyeing the flowers in his hands.

donghyuck giggled at your state, all flustered and not knowing what to say. he could definitely get used to this view. “would you be opposed to going out to hogsmeade with me?” his hand went back onto the wall and his face leaned very closely to yours. “my treat.” a smile slowly made an appearance on his godly face.

you were baffled. just ten minutes ago, you were one second away from crying in the middle of class because of the same guy who’s making your heart flutter in a way that you’ve never experienced before. the same guy who wouldn’t even speak a proper grammatically complete sentence to you prior to the past couple minutes.

he quirked an eyebrow as he patiently waited for your response. taking a deep breath, you seriously had nothing to lose. “no, i wouldn’t be opposed to that.” donghyuck smiled at how you can finally speak a full sentence without taking any pauses or stumbling upon your words.

once again, he pushed himself off the wall to grab your hand and arranged them so that you were now holding the flowers. you felt a wave of heat rush onto your cheeks and you tried to hide by keeping your focus on the colorful array of petals, allowing your head to stay low.

this obviously didn’t satisfy donghyuck since he wanted to stare at your flustered state all day. his pointer finger rested under your chin and pushed your head up to force you into maintaining the intense eye contact. pretty. he thought. your eyes were still shiny, and face even redder. donghyuck smiled at the up-close view of the face he had to restrain himself from staring at for too long in the past. savoring this moment, he examined your face slowly. taking all the time he needed and did not need, he continued to stare at the way your mouth fell slightly open, counting the seconds you could last without blinking your eyes and holding your breath when he stood so near you.

his brown, yet bright, eyes looked back at yours, he spoke softly, “good. i’ll wait for you outside your common room right before the sun sets tomorrow.”

you let out a breathy laugh at the vague description. “and what time is that?”

“anytime you’re ready.” his warm breath hits your hot cheeks, making your smile falter. donghyuck notices his effect on you and keeps that in mind for future purposes that you’ll soon loathe him for. “just don’t keep me waiting for too long. i’m already excited to be with you.” donghyuck smiled at the double meaning of his own sentence, feeling proud of himself for finally making a move and smiling at the sweet thought of his friends no longer pestering him to talk to you nor poking fun at him for being a bit of a coward.

the boy had to force himself to step away, but his gaze was still set on you. “i’ll see you tomorrow. anticipate it for me.” you blinked and nodded at his order while he winked at you before he made room for you to move past him and walk back toward the greenhouse.

donghyuck pushed open the door for you to enter and was automatically greeted with wide smiles from his friends still standing at the back of the room, silently cheering for their friend. he shyly smiled back quickly before retreating his attention back to you. he noticed how you caressed the soft flowers in your hand with such adoration and a smile on your face that will never seem to leave — he wished to do the same to you. and he had a strong gut feeling that his wish would soon be granted.

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wingsfreedom · 3 years

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Why do hate Tyzula? And what are the Tyzula fics and/or headcanons that turned you off the ship? I am trying to write a post-canon Tyzula fic and so want to avoid the common pitfalls in such fics. And I would like advice from one of the best pro-Azula users out there. Thanks!!

I was neutral about the ship at first. I didn't like it but I left it alone. I loved Azula almost instantly but I disliked Ty Lee just as quick 😂. Now I just dislike the ship but not as much as before.

Simple answer: I previously stated that I do not ship Azula and Ty Lee because they are incompatible with one another, just because they're different that doesn't mean they work as a couple, a deeper connection that goes beyond platonic friendship wouldn't give each character what they need to grow IMO. A relationship doesn't stand on 'care' alone.

Warning: negative review.

Reason why I disliked this ship a lot before was because I probably started with the Worst TM ty/zula writer. I always care about how Azula is portrayed more than anything else and the writer did everything in her(?) power to make Azula as low (bottomless low) and despicable as possible so Ty Lee could be the only one to love her just because she's a masochistic doormat. It was super nauseated. And both characters are OOC, too, there was no study of the characters was made or respect for the Avatar world was held; the author just write on whims and fetishes and base off Avatar world on Westeros and Avatar quotes & themes on GoT for "cool" and "edgy". Azula is an "evil" Daenerys lmao. Whitewashing, basically. Again, super nauseated. I loathed this ship so much ever since, until I met new Ty/zula writers with more respectful take on both characters and the world of Avatar which I'm thankful for.

Note: I think @soozencreates may give you the answer you need about writing Tyzula since they have more positive interpretation of the ship and lovely take on the characters.

#anon #notp

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stradlingmrstradlin · 3 years

Text

So I enjoy writing and I this is the first story that I wrote with the intent of being posted. Constructive criticism is always welcome ♥️

Here's the story

Steven x Duff

Reader x Izzy

(No warnings, maybe swearwords if that counts, also I don't promote underage drinking)

I think I managed to stay gender-neutral

Words: 2794

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You were on a road trip with the guys, how did you end up here? Oh well, you've known the guys for a few years as you were good friends with Steven since you were kids, but you had a falling out because he moved around quite a lot and your family did too.

When you were 14 your family moved to Seattle and stayed there for 4 years. In those years you met a blond-haired dude whose name was Michael or as you and a few other people called him, Duff. You and Duff met at a corner store when you were 15 and tried to steal a bottle of vodka. Duff was also lurking around the alcohol section, also probably trying to steal some alcoholic beverage.

But he was, according to the store manager, a suspicious punk guy...so he got kicked out before even getting his hands on anything. You felt bad for him so after sliding a bottle in the inside pocket of your denim jacket and throwing a wink and a charming smile towards the cashier you walked out.

So there you were at eighteen having to say goodbye to Duff because your family was moving away... again but now to Ireland. You had a huge argument with your family about always moving and you losing all of your friends because of them so you made a decision, to run away. Ok, I know that's a stupid idea because how the fuck will you survive on your own?

Your family was well off so you decided to take a bit of money with you, they probably wouldn't even notice.

You lived in quite a few places after that, from the back alley of the theater to Duff's place, his family loved you so it was ok. When Duff decided to move to LA to pursue his dream of being in a band you of course followed him.

You moved into a small one-room apartment together, but it was great. Living with Duff is fun. But he always moved stuff on the top shelf to mess with you, and also money was tight. You guys both worked a lot but it was alright.

He joined a few bands and played a few gigs in shitty bars but none of them worked out. You played guitar so you tried but it was the same with you, never being able to keep a band together for more than a month. Also being a girl didn't help, because many bands thought that it'll ruin their image if a girl is in the band.

Eventually, he put an ad in the paper looking for a band and that's how he met the other guys. You were super surprised to see Steven there but also happy to see him. Also, you remembered Slash from meeting him with Steven maybe a couple of times. The only new people were the two boys, who, as you later found out were from Indiana. The one who looked a bit like Johnny Thunders was hot, but you ignored that fact for now.

The first thing you noticed between your two blond friends was a bit of jealousy, at first you thought maybe they liked you and were jealous of each other, but after a while, even before they knew it, you caught onto the real reason. They didn't like you, at least not romantically, they liked each other. But for about four years they didn't act in their feelings...(later on about that)

Eventually, in 1985 they formed Guns N Roses. The guys liked you, and Axl tried to fuck you, but after a big smack on the head and an angry talking to by Duff he quickly forgot that idea.

So now in 1988 here you were sitting in the back of a van, that Izzy was driving because he was the only sober one...today. Tomorrow probably you'll have to drive.

Your pov.

We were in the car for about twenty minutes and everything was calm...for now. Led Zeppelin was coming from the radio and Axl was softly singing along, in the front seat and Izzy was driving. Duff sipping something from a bottle, probably something alcoholic, and slowly falling asleep and leaning on Steven's shoulder. Steve was smiling per usual, but if possible his smile got even bigger when Duff's head landed on his shoulder. But as all good things come to an end, the comfortable silence got broken.

"I have to pee!" Steven suddenly yelled out, causing Duff to lift his head off of Steven's shoulder and look around in confusion. "The fuck is going on?"

Axl just grumbled "Steven is a fucking baby and can't go and use the toilet before road trips...no he has to use them when we are in the middle of a fucking highways"

Slash snorted at Axl's response but didn't say anything as he didn't want to get into this argument, surprising.

Can't the guys stay still for one second?

"Izzy, can you please stop the car at the next rest stop?" I asked, as kindly as possible not wanting to further upset Rosie and listen to him throwing a temper tantrum for the next hour or so, he's annoying sometimes.

Anyways we stopped at the next stop, and Steven almost ran to the restroom. I switched places with Axl because he was tired and wanted to sit in the back, so he could stretch out a bit. Now Axl was sitting next to Slash, and Steven came back jumping in next to Duff. We're on the road again.

"Can I switch the music?" Izzy looked at me with almost puppy dog eyes, well I didn't think that was possible.

"Of course, what do you have in mind?"I replied almost laughing because of the face he was making

"Maybe Hanoi Rocks?" He again looked at me with the same stupid face.

"Fine, just stop making that face because I'll probably die from laughter" At this point, I just straight up burst out laughing and he just threw a cute lil smile my way. I was super proud of myself because I made THE Izzy Stradlin laugh.

A little background on me and Izzy. When we first met I ignored that he was hot because I didn't want to mess anything up for Duff with the band, but in the next two years that feeling grew from "oh, he's hot" to "I want to fuck him". No, we never fucked, but at a party in 87' we had a really hot make-out session which was sadly ended by a drunk Slash passing out on top of me...that was a wild party. There were no awkward feelings between us but we never took it further either. We sometimes cuddled and kissed when we needed human contact but nothing else. I always wanted more, but Izzy...Izzy is a mysterious guy, hard to figure out, the only person who somewhat is able to figure him out is Axl...but you don't go to Axl asking for advice, because Axl's advice is usually bad advice.

..My thoughts were interrupted by the opening cords for Don't You Ever Leave Me, which's one of my favorite songs. Izzy glanced at me and seconds later we were quietly singing because we didn't want to disturb our four friends who were asleep in the back. Axl and Slash were leaning on each other and Axl's face was barely visible because of Slash's hair. Duff was leaning on a window and Steve was cuddled up to him.

As I was looking at my friends when Iz asked me a question "When do you think they'll realize that they like each other because you have to be an idiot to not realize it, I mean Steven always smiles around Duff, and Duff is so cuddly with steven?" Oh boy, the problem was, that our friends were indeed stupid, at least on the topic of love. "I don't know Iz, they are after all a bit ignorant when it comes to love" As I said this I saw something in Izzy's face change, but I couldn't identify it because it was gone pretty soon. After that we didn't talk much, only glancing at each other a few times but it wasn't uncomfortable or anything, we just didn't have anything else to say out loud.

However, my thoughts were really loud... Ignorant with love? That sounds like us, maybe after all Duff and Stevie weren't the only stupid ones.

...It was around 6 pm when we got to our destination, a fairly large cabin up in the hills, between a shit ton of trees. Nice, finally we can rest without reporters, fans, and annoying paparazzi asking about the private life of the guys.

Everyone had their own room as nobody really wanted to share, we specifically looked for a cabin with 6 rooms, we love each other but sharing a room is annoying. In the beginning, when we didn't have much I shared rooms with probably all of the guys.

Axl is an annoying little fucker, he kicked me in his dream a lot of times, my back hurt a lot after. Slash is nice, he let me have my own space on the small bed we slept on and didn't bother me, well he accidentally woke me up when he fell off the bed, but that sucks for him, not me. Steven and Duff both love cuddles, Steven almost suffocated me once but other than that it's nice sleeping next to them. Izzy...He doesn't hug you or cuddle up to you when you're going to sleep but somehow you always wake up tangled together.

After we brought up our luggage to our assigned rooms Slash had the awesome idea to watch a film. Steven wanted to watch something funny but Axl quickly told him to fuck off.

"Axl, that's very rude" Duff quickly came to the help of Steven. "Yeah, well I ain't watching some shitty comedy, that's for pussies" ..Axl is an asshole sometimes

Slash had enough of arguing and just put on a horror movie and told everyone to shut up and watch the movie.

Halfway through, Steven was cuddled up to Duff, hiding in his chest.

Axl laughed every time someone died, and Slash always shushed him.

Outside pov.

As the movie went on Steven was buried under his hair, two blankets, and most importantly to him, in Duff's arms. How can they be so stupid? Not noticing something that's there?

But they weren't the only stupid ones, no there was a black-haired boy, and you. Also stupid... too stupid in love to notice what's there.

After the movie ended you made food for the guys. Duff decided to help, as the others were pretty incapable of cooking or didn't want to help.

Your pov.

"You know y/n you're blind for not noticing how Izzy looks at you." Duff stated bluntly. "Well McKagan then you're pretty blind for not noticing how Steven looks at you"

"What do you mean?" He asked with...hope? His eyes got wider and you could hear his voice shake a bit.

"Duff, are you serious? Steven likes you, he always tries to be close to you, looks at all the groupies you fuck with so much anger in his eyes, I never thought he could be so angry. And don't think I don't see you staring at him all day" I said with a sweet smile on my face.

"I don't get it y/n..he..he likes me?"

"Yes Duff, he does, he really does, so please don't mess this up, promise me you'll talk to him while we're here"

I really hope he'll talk to him because it's probably eating them up from the inside to keep these feelings locked away.

"But! Y/n, you should talk to Izzy too, you have something between the two of you" Duff looked at me with pleading eyes

"Duff, things are complicated, we.... well, we know about each other's feelings but, I don't know, I guess we're just too afraid to fuck it up"

I don't know about his feelings, to be honest, but I'm definitely scared to fuck up because I really like him. For a time I never thought I'd be able to love someone, and I know that's a strong word to use, but when he came along, stuff changed.

By the time we were done cooking the guys were all hungry and basically ran to the kitchen, I was really conflicted inside from our conversation with Duff. Should I mention it to Iz? Probably should. Whatever, I'll think about it later.

Night came around and everyone retreated to their own rooms to sleep, or in my case think.

Outside pov.

Slash and Axl were fast asleep in their rooms, but the others weren't.

Duff was sitting in the kitchen, head in his hands muttering to himself about being a coward and stupid. Steven however noticed someone downstairs and when he saw Duff and what he was muttering to himself he got sad. How could this perfect human being think that he's stupid? He tiptoed behind him and pulled Duff in his arms from behind. Duff was sitting so the back of his head was pressed into stevens chest. At first, Duff was scared but as soon as he smelled the familiar and calming scent of Steven he instantly felt comfortable, like he was at home. Steven turned Duff around and carefully put his fingers under the taller man's chin and leaned down to press a love-filled kiss onto his lips. At this moment both of them understood everything without words. Duff stood up hugging Steven and lifting him up to take him to his room. They didn't do anything else besides cuddling and a lot of kisses, but both of them felt safe and eventually, they fell asleep with Duff on his back pulling Steven close to him, almost on top of him. This is how they'll be found when you walked into Duff's room in the morning to tell him something.

What was that something?

Well after a lot of thinking you got up and went to Izzy's room. It's now or never you though.

Your pov.

My fingers softly collided with the wooden door and a rustling noise inside told me that Izzy heard it. This seemed like a really bad idea all of a sudden. Well, can't do anything about it now.

A soft "Who's there" could be heard from inside the room "Just me, can we talk?" I replied really quietly wondering if he heard me. "Yeah, come in"

"Iz, look I'm going to tell you something, ok? Please don't interrupt me."

"Alright"

"So you know when we met, I immediately found you extremely hot. Well, those feelings grew a lot since then, and when we kissed at the party, it just, felt so...right? I know you'll probably tell me that you were just drunk all of the times you kissed me, or just felt lonely. But Iz, I like you, a lot." Silence, that's all, he said nothing. Just staring at me with his signature poker face.

"I knew it, sorry for disturbing you, I'll just go now, forget it please!"

As I turned to walk away he grabbed my arms and pulled me back into a hug that soon turned into a kiss. When I opened my eyes again we were cuddling on his bed. This is where I felt home, felt alright, in his arms.

"I'm sorry for not responding love, it was just shocking to hear that you liked me. I thought you kissed me all those times just to anger Duff or Axl. I guess I just never thought you'd want to be with a junkie " Izzy whispered looking down at his arms sadly

"You thought wrong Iz, I don't give a fuck about what you do, well yes I don't like you doing drugs, but also you can get over that and to me you are perfect"

"Maybe it's too soon to say, but I love you y/n, I really do."

"I love you too Iz"

Outside pov.

Maybe they weren't so stupid after all, just scared of their feelings. The two blond boys, who understood each other without words. Izzy and you, on the other hand, needed words to understand each other fully.

But what matters is that in the end, everything was alright.

#steven x duff #izzy stradlin #izzy stradlin x reader #izzy stradlin one shot #guns n' roses #axlrose #axl rose #steven adler #duff mckagan #slash gnr

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ablogthatishenceforthmine · 4 years

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Thoughts on Korra and Mako’s Break Up

So, one of the things I knew before watching the series was that Mako would betray Korra, and then break up with her. Everything i’ve seen about this event made me think that I would be angry at Mako, and take Korra’s side. But actually watching it now... that’s not the case?

Do I think Mako was completely right? No, I do think he was mostly right. Both he and Korra messed up in this situation. But, I think Korra messed up more than he did.

So, this post is probably going to seem pretty negative toward Korra. But, the point of this post isn’t to bash her. And i’m not bashing her. I love Korra. She is easily my favorite LOK character so far. But she is my favorite character because he is soooo flawed. And those flaws are just so apparent, in a way which the hero character’s flaws usually aren’t. She is just such a messy person, and she makes mistakes, big and small, all the time. So even though this post is quite critical of Korra, just now that these mistakes and flaws I describe here are part of the reason I love her.

So, I’m going to go through their conflict one step at a time.

One: Advice/Support

In season 2, Korra often asks Mako what he thinks, or asks for advice. However, it’s clear that most of the time, she just wants him to agree with her, and support the choice she is inclined too. There are a few moments in the beginning of Season 2, however, where he actually does this, and she is unhappy with that too, such as when she asks what he thinks about training with Unalaq. For me, this moment, and others like it, Mako offers vague support instead of decisive advice because he genuinely does not know what the right or best thing to do is. And I get why this is frustrating for Korra, because being an Avatar is hard, and she wants help... it just that Mako isn’t really equipped to give advice and help with Avatar stuff.

However, Korra only sees to actually want his advice when she is uncertain. When she’s already make up her mind, she just wants wants his agreement and support, not his actual opinions. Whenever he gives advice or suggests something or speaks out against something that she wants to do or believes, she dismisses him. In "”Peacekeepers,” he tells her she should try to stay neutral and not take part in the Southern Water tribe’s peaceful protest. She is annoyed at his disagreement, and goes to the protest. He tells her that the attack was started by a firebender, and doesn’t think it’s necessarily the Northern water tribe. Korra doesn’t listen to him, and won’t consider the possibility that someone other than the Northern Water Tribe was responsible for the attack. After the president of Republic City refuses to send troops to help the Southern Tribe, Korra immediately views him as her enemy. When Mako tries to explain the president’s side of things to Korra, she doesn’t listen, and accuses him of not supporting her.

In almost all of these things, I agree with Mako. But in one of them, I do agree with Korra: going to the protest, and whether the Avatar should stay neutral. I like how the show is bringing up questions about what role the Avatar should play in the work. In ATLA, Aang’s role and what he should be trying to accomplish was obvious. But in LOK, it’s not so obvious for Korra. Being the Avatar shouldn’t always been being neutral; sometimes, it should mean taking a stand for the right side. Should Avatars start wars? Or should their only job be to resolve them, to create peace? But what if peace can only come about through war? I do think Korra was right to start a civil war. Unalaq was clearly oppressing the people of the Southern Water Tribe he stole the throne through dubious means, and he held a fake trial, getting opponents locked up. And Korra should stay neutral here? Her public support could really make a difference.

But on everything else, I agree with Mako. He is clearly right about the bombing at the protest being more than it seemed, and Korra is being stubborn and blind by refusing to even consider another possibility. He’s also right that she should try to see the president’s side of things. Korra has a tendency to view anyone who doesn’t agree with her or who doesn’t do what she wants them to do as the enemy. But, I understand where the president is coming from, and so does Mako, and he tries to get Korra to see it too. War is complicated, but Korra just wants the president to just rush into it. It’s unclear how much the president and the public knows. Do they know a lot, or only that there is a civil war? It would be better if the show was clearer on this. But even if the president does have all the information, it’s not bad to want to explore other options first, and see if the problem can be solved diplomatically. We know that there is no chance of dealing with Unalaq with diplomacy, but the president doesn’t, so it makes sense that he would want to explore options that didn’t involve going to war. I’m not saying the president’s decision is the right one, I’m just saying that it’s an understandable one. We, and Korra and Mako, haven’t seen much of him. but he hasn’t shown any signs that he is incompetent, cruel, or corrupt. So Mako is right, Korra should try to hear what the president is saying and not view him as an enemy.

So anyway, Mako and Korra have clear issues communicating. For me, the fault is mostly at Korra; she does not take criticism or disagreement well. But I also think there are things Mako could do better here. Korra likes to feel supported, to a larger than normal degree. She needs people to trust and support her. I think this comes from actually being pretty insecure. She spent her whole life sheltered, protected, and kinda controlled. So, it makes sense that she is drawn to people who say they believe in her, and believe in her ability to make good choices. This is why Korra is so easily manipulated. For most of her life, she had a feeling that people didn’t trust and believe in her enough, they kept her from being a part of the larger world. And if there is one thing that Korra hates it’s someone holding her back, or someone she perceives as holding her back. So, Korra’s lashing out at any hint that someone is doubting her makes sense. I don’t think Mako had made it super clear that he supports the civil war, and that saving her family and her tribe is important too him. I’m sure he does, and i’m sure it is. But he could go a better job of making it clear, cause it seems like Korra thinks he doesn’t care about her family or the Southern Water tribe.

Two: The Betrayal

And then there is the betrayal, which I actually don’t think is that bad. For basically the sole reason that Korra’s plan is a TERRIBLE one. She wants to go behind the president’s back, and get his military to go to war with the Northern Water Tribe. This is basically a military coup. TERRIBLE IDEA. This could have such horrible consequences. The only circumstances she should do this is if the president is corrupt or tyrannical, which doesn’t seem to be the case. The Avatar staging a military coup could have huge and far-reaching consequences, and upsets the balance in their society. I mean, what could this do for Avatar-government relations throughout the world?

And it’s not like there aren’t other options. At the end of the episode, she goes to ask the Fire Nation for help. Surely, asking the other nations for aid should have been attempted before staging a military coup. Hell, maybe she should have tried rallying support with the people of the Northern Water Tribe, exposing Unalaq and telling them how he got the throne. Unalaq’s soldier’s and the people close to him are still going to support him, but the general public of the Northern Water Tribe? We haven’t seen much of them, but it’s hard to believe at least some of them wouldn’t have a problem with Unalaq after learning the truth. And if his people turn against him, that’s a big blow to him. AND it might make it easier for the president and the United Forces to step in, if‘s not longer just a civil war but a rebellion, where his own people don’t even want him to lead. Everyone would be against him, and thus, it would be less complicated for the United Forces to get involved. Hell, Korra could have tried rallying and gaining support in Republic City, and hope that public pressure could make the president take action

Point is, there are many different things Korra could have tried before staging a military coup. So, going to General Iroh, and trying to get the United Forces help the Southern Water Tribe behind the president’s back is a really bad idea. And yes, when they talk, they plan it so that the president will not know. But it is a terribly flimsy plan and there is very little likelihood that the president won’t find out.

So considering the terrible consequences this actions could have not just for Korra, but for Republic City and the world, Mako is right to betray her. I think he should have gone to her first and tried to convince her out of the plan. But, as stated above, Korra doesn’t really listen to him. So I can understand why he wouldn’t. Still, because they care about each other and are in a relationship, he should have tried it this way first. Maybe he could have told her his dilemma, and that if she goes through with the plan, he feels he will have to tell the president. But, at the end of the day, stopping Korra’s stupid plan feels like the right decision. However, it’s unclear how much Mako’s decision is about doing the right thing and much much it was about his duty as a cop (ew). So it’s hard to tell if Mako made the right decision for the right reasons or or the wrong reasons.

Three: The Breakup

The way Korra handles the betrayal is immature and wildly inappropriate. After learning of his betrayal, she bursts into the police station, his place of work, and starts yelling at him in front of his colleagues. She airbends his desk, destroying it. Which, to me, feels like the equivalent of punching a wall in the middle of a fight. She has a right to be angry, but in no way, is doing any of this okay. This is not why Mako breaks up with Korra, but, still, I can’t fault him for doing so after this. Korra is not good at handling her emotions (another of her flaws that makes me love her). She needs to learn how to deal with and express them in appropriate ways. So yeah, this is another situation where Korra is in the wrong. Although the stated reason for why the broke up, is that they are both too busy and devoted to their jobs, is kinda dumb.

#lok #korra #mako #lok book 2 #korra and mako #my posts #ablogthatishenceforthmine #legend of korra

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foamgrass3 · 3 years

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What Mediation Is And Also Exactly How It Can Assist

Honor Winning Workplace Mediation Solutions

Content

Mediation Professionals.

Fixing Neighbour Conflicts

Can I Get Legal Advice On Whether The Suggested Agreement Is Fair For Me?

The moderator notified the celebrations that they had little documents for, or recollection of, the mediation as well as reminded the events of the mediation contract in which they had actually concurred not to call them as a witness. The mediation process achieves these results in different means, but possibly most importantly it boosts interaction as well as addresses unreasonable insurance claims and also expectations. Individuals have a tendency to use up rigid positions and prevent interacting with the event with whom they are in problem or will connect with them with an intermediary. The in person conference that takes place in a joint session enables communication straight between the events. It offers a risk-free environment in which events can move gradually towards restoring their connection.

What documents do you need for mediation?

Checklist: Things to take with you to mediationTake documents like court documents, statements, photographs, invoices and payment records. Put all your documents and information in order. If you want the other parties to look at any documents, you may want to make copies to give to them.

While ACAS has actually seen some boost in its workload therefore, this has not yet been really felt on a prevalent level by other mediation company. Mediation in the workplace is still the exception instead of the standard. There appears to be an actual resistance to workplace mediation; although Human Resources professionals verbalize support for the process, fairly few employers have utilized the mediation process.

Mediation Specialists.

Very certified, experienced conciliators can bring favorable resolution to employee disputes and disputes. This workplace mediation service gives a quick, reasonable, neutral as well as casual alternative to conventional counselling and complaint treatments. Employees recognize that they will be making the decisions, are expected to try to understand the other celebration's worries and to look at alternatives for dealing with those issues.

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That's a significant time dedication and doesn't consider that lots of such issues were not dealt with and also resulted in work tribunal claims, adding further considerable time as well as price implications. However when disagreements include supervisors themselves, or in some way the parties are miserable with supervisors obtaining entailed, this ends up being impossible. Mediation is an informal conflict resolution process that works in 80% of conflicts.

Resolving Neighbor Conflicts

To get the most effective outcomes, conciliators need to be trained as well as maintain to date with specialist developments.There are numerous organisations that will provide this training yet, preferably, programs need to be certified by the Civil Mediation Council. As discussed above, https://workplacemediations.co.uk/conflict-resolution/luton/ has a training plan, which causes a Certificate in Inner Workplace Mediation. Acas limits trainee numbers to 12 on each courseto allow optimum individual attention. Many carriers have different programs for various locations of mediation work, such as civil and industrial situations, workplace mediation and family members mediations. Much more people are encouraging employers to embrace workplace mediation as a standard procedure to settle conflicts. This short article discovers some of the problems that occur when considering this choice.

This indicates that if you determine you intend to most likely to Tribunal, you have one month to make your appeal.

An Expense to make further provision concerning adjudication and also mediation solutions and the application of equality regulations to such solutions; as well as for connected functions.

Our Resolution-trained mediators are all seasoned household attorneys with professional expertise of the Family members Court's expectations.

Mediation works to repair the relationship for the events entailed as well as to bring back a healthier atmosphere for all those affected by the circumstance. Mediation is launched mainly by Human being Resources specialists or elderly supervisors as opposed to the parties themselves. People ought to constantly be given the possibility to resolve their difference on their own. However, if they can not settle it and the situation is obtaining out-of-hand already very early treatment is recommended as opposed to viewing workplace mediation as a last resort. Contact us today to access a completely educated workplace conciliator to assist you solve workplace conflicts, saving time, money and also stress and anxiety.

Can I Obtain Legal Advice On Whether The Recommended Arrangement Is Fair For Me?

For instance, personality clashes are usually tough to figure out utilizing complaint processes. Acknowledging dispute as well as taking very early action like mediation to fix it can save time, money as well as anxiety, and likewise avoid potentially pricey disputes developing. These refined shifts in state of mind can be tough to achieve however often tend to be effective. Properly workplace mediation lowers the damages, related expenses and also the threats of feasible escalation.

Mediation can be made use of when a conflict remains in its early stage as well as no formal complaints have been made, or any time up to and after an official Work Tribunal result. Where business mediation services portsmouth has actually been lodged, mediation can assist those entailed to fix their differences without the anxiety and time of an official procedure. Where mediation services plymouth has actually started, mediation can function within official timescales and in many circumstances will help to create a resolution that brings the formal treatment to an early close.

End results consist of settlement, withdrawal of the complaint, or where no contract is reached, hardly ever, continuation to formal processes. It's tough for a HR Director, any type of Senior Manager or certainly business proprietor to be seen as neutral in a mediation.

Milwaukee housing advocates prepare for end of federal eviction moratorium - Milwaukee Neighborhood News Service

Milwaukee housing advocates prepare for end of federal eviction moratorium.

Posted: Thu, 17 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT [source]

Our conciliators can help to fix conflicts between individuals in a line management relationship, in between various other coworkers, or between teams. All our professional mediators are long offering, occupation conciliators who have been experts in workplace mediation.

This is despite a success rate for mediation of 70% to 80% of disagreements moderated. Our moderators are friendly, so if you have any kind of inquiries regarding the procedure of our workplace mediation service, don't hesitate to set up a complimentary consultation. Our workplace moderators are below to aid with any employment and workplace conflicts in between a specific and also manager, disagreements in a team or between an individual as well as Human Resources division. When an arbitrator is assigned, they are typically given with a summary of the problems involved in the workplace conflict as well as any type of relevant papers that either party wants to trust or review throughout the mediation process. This assists the mediator to recognize the history to the instance as well as helps make certain that discussions will be efficient as feasible on the day of mediation. While services often have official policies as well as treatments in place to take care of workplace disagreements, some circumstances might be better matched to a less official method to resolving matters.

Do both parties pay for mediation?

One or both participants pay for the mediation as the payments come due. They are then reimbursed out of the assets at the end of the mediation process when they have reached a settlement.

He or she will certainly understand the personalities involved as well as will certainly not be viewed as unbiased. An exterior moderator will help reveal that HR is seeking to fix this disagreement without taking sides. The HR Director or Manager likewise may be involved later on in a complaint or disciplinary disagreement. Workplace Mediation has actually long been collecting energy, ending up being progressively prominent among UK firms who currently utilize it as an efficient way to settle disagreements at the workplace. Along with case particular mediation consultancy, we are likewise able to provide in-house mediation awareness training. Collaborating with you as well as your assigned workers, we can provide assistance to construct a society of 'avoidance' instead of 'treatment'. Your company will after that maintain control as well as have the abilities in-house to reduce potential disagreements.

An honest conversation in a confidential setting, meticulously handled by the mediator, can flush out problems as well as produce basically altered behaviour. This, subsequently, can lead to extra boosted personnel commitment and boosted productivity than any kind of number of Human Resources procedures could have accomplished. Professionals anticipated the floodgates to open up to workplace mediation following the introduction of the ACAS code as well as support.

Months after 'historic' police reforms, few want job of police arbitrator - KSTP

Months after 'historic' police reforms, few want job of police arbitrator.

Posted: Wed, 06 Jan 2021 04:01:39 GMT [source]

Each of our workplace moderators has an extensive case history with wide experience throughout a series of business sectors as well as whatsoever degrees in organisations. There is also certainly hesitation by some lawful agents. There is a duty for lawyers advising workers encountering a complaint to motivate mediation. However, some lawyers might favour rights-based results to informal processes meant to recover relationships.

#mediation services eu #mediation services europe #workplace mediation eu #workplace mediation europe #business mediation services eu #business mediation services europe

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gongroot17 · 3 years

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A Personal Household Mediation Method Based In Tunbridge Wells Serving Kent As Well As East Sussex.

Youngster Plans & Guardianship Mediation Leicester.

Content

What Problems Can Household Arbitration Handle?

The Child Inclusive Mediation Process.

Get A Divorce: Detailed

To Divorce You Must:.

Comments From Kid Counselling Customers.

The meeting is confidential, as well as the child selects what they intend to share, conserve for in the event any securing worries emerge. If your ex-spouse rejects to go to mediation, after that court is your only alternative, please see link below. The court will constantly place the youngster's benefits first as well as this main issue will certainly establish the outcome of any application for an order. It is very important to understand the difference in between a 'household moderator' and a 'Legal Aid Agency approved family members arbitrator'. Household Mediation can be cost-free for those who are qualified forLegal Aid. This will entitle clients to free legal assistance from a Family members Solicitor or Divorce Solicitor, in addition to having actually an agreement written up absolutely free.

It is right here to give you with sources and also functional assistance to manage threat, concerns and unpredictabilities; allowing you to maximise opportunities and to re-tune your company when recovery is required. The Hub will certainly permit you to innovate with bespoke solutions, and brand-new items, created to accelerate growth. It will sustain you with thought leadership product, training and also webinars through our customized Freethinking Hub programme. Add value to your company with a reassuringly complete legal solution, tailored to your industrial goals.

What Problems Can Household Mediation Handle?

The mediator may decide that arbitration is not suitable for your instance, in which instance the conciliator will authorize a record stating that arbitration is not suitable or is not happening. You will value that as a result of the nature of our work, it is not appropriate to bring kids to appointments. It is easy to forget just how the youngsters are feeling as you battle to restore some balance in your own life.

MV Mediation program takes on evictions - Martha's Vineyard Times

MV Mediation program takes on evictions.

Posted: Wed, 30 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT [source]

When Simon Hughes went to NFM's national workplace last autumn, it was clear from our discussion regarding child-inclusive arbitration that he is absolutely enthusiastic about this - established to make it function. https://cheshire.trusted-mediators.co.uk/ 's something we've been operating at for over thirty years because NFM's development, so naturally we are pleased that the Government has actually now given this undertaking. These actions will certainly aid offer the child the right to form his/her very own future when the family breaks down. However as the creators of youngster inclusive mediation, and as the nationwide organisation that has actually originated as well as evolved the technique, NFM comfortably invited the dedication. Our particularly skilled Arbitrators have the ability to give unbiased Mediation services across the nation, making use of remote platforms. Our expert team of Kid Inclusive Mediators are able to provide objective support during what might be a hard and upsetting time.

The Kid Comprehensive Arbitration Process.

Our core service has a focus on structure trust and understanding to advertise and also sustain effective partnerships and excellent interaction. Direct child assessment gives the chance for the child to speak to an independent individual without needing to filter their feedback as they would to each moms and dad due to the fact that they do not wish to upset them. • Being able totalk on the phonein exclusive to both moms and dads when they desire.

You might additionally experience some concerns with your browser, such as an alert box that a manuscript is taking a long time to run. The Entire Act without Schedules you have actually selected has over 200 provisions and also could spend some time to download and install. The Entire Act you have selected consists of over 200 stipulations and may take some time to download and install. In section 55 and this area "mediation adviser" implies an independent person that can give details as well as advice regarding seeking arbitration.

Get A Divorce: Step By Step

The NFJO quick evaluation suggests a move to neutral chairs for PLO conferences and created arrangements drafted WITH families. The Schedules you have actually chosen consists of over 200 stipulations and also might spend some time to download.

the moms and dad or young adult has informed the advisor that he or she does not want to go after mediation. The moms and dad or young adult might make the appeal only if a mediation adviser has issued a certification to him or her under subsection or. the arbitration concerns do not include health care arrangement defined in the strategy or the fact that no health care arrangement, or no healthcare provision of a certain kind, is defined in the plan. the mediation concerns consist of health care stipulation defined in the plan or the fact that no health care arrangement, or no healthcare arrangement of a specific kind, is specified in the strategy. the problems in respect of which she or he wants to seek arbitration (" the mediation concerns"). A youngster's moms and dad or a young adult may interest the First-tier Tribunal against the issues set out in subsection, subject to section 55.

To Separation You Must:.

The views revealed by contributing writers are not necessarily those of Family members Legislation or Jordan Posting and should not be thought about as lawful recommendations. We busily hope any type of post-election changes in Ministerial profiles will not lead child-inclusive arbitration down a dead-end.

What happens if mediation is unsuccessful?

If the mediation is not successful for whatever reason, an accredited Family Dispute Resolution practitioner can issue a certificate to allow an application to be made to a family law court.

Freeths LLP is authorized as well as managed by the Solicitors Law Authority. Our registered workplace is Cumberland Court, 80 Mount Road, Nottingham, NG1 6HH. The term 'partner' is made use of to refer to a participant of the restricted responsibility partnership. Freeths LLP supplies its solutions subject to its Terms of Service. Any type of complaints should be dealt with through the treatment described here. " I was truly pleased with the team. I really felt extremely sustained. Nothing was excessive trouble, as well as I could constantly get hold of the attorneys. They were practical, supportive and friendly, and also they explained every little thing in layperson's terms."

It may be difficult to approve that your kids might really feel in a different way regarding your splitting up than you, and so providing a possibility to share their hopes and also fears is an excellent way to concentrate your focus on their demands. Most importantly else we know they desire you as their parents to assure them that life will take place and also be great-- that they are not responsible for your split, which you are going to interact for them.

Do both parents have to pay for mediation?

One or both participants pay for the mediation as the payments come due. They are then reimbursed out of the assets at the end of the mediation process when they have reached a settlement.

Technology law practice BUZZ Shaw Baker has joined worldwide law firm Withers to create an one-of-a-kind lawful offering that satisfies the requirements of business owners, investors and innovation firms across the globe. If an In person conference is important after that this might be organized if there are nothing else choices, please call to prepare a visit in the very first instance. You will be needed to use a mask and also sanitise on access and also exit to the building as well as follow social distancing according to the notification in the office. We will certainly gather details and preserve records of staff, consumers and site visitors on our premises to sustain NHS Test as well as Trace. brodies.com is making use of a safety service for security against on-line strikes.

Responses From Kid Counselling Customers.

The Local Authority have a task to provide disagreement resolution solutions. Rock King can set up face-to-face or digital conferences to fit you. Visit this site to figure out just how we can continue to support every one of our valued clients as usual. Arbitration then provides the possibility to all parties included to deal with one of our qualified and competent arbitrators to aid express concerns and also discover remedies to try to deal with differences as well as repair connections. We have a solid credibility built on years of experience and success assisting deal with dispute in education.

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This will provide you a clear suggestion of the distinction in between the Arbitration and also Tribunal. When mediation services london contact us, we will tell you whether you need the MIAS or otherwise. The MIAS is generally done on the telephone and takes about 20 mins. The Suggestions session offers basic information regarding Mediation, as well as you can ask any concerns you may have.

• Beingtreated as a private-- not being under the umbrella of "the kids". Being responsible parents stays a joint job despite the fact that you live apart. A Child-Inclusive Mediator should additionally have an enhanced Wrongdoer Records Bureau check and will be gone along with at the conference with the kid by another participant of staff. Instead, Child-Inclusive Mediation means children can have a chance to speak about their circumstance and feelings with someone neutral. Adjudication is another kind of disagreement resolution where a lawfully educated person decides which ought to be objective after considering all the conditions. The choice is legitimately binding if the proper process is complied with. If none of the exemptions use, or you do not have the required evidence for domestic violence and also none of the other exemptions apply, after that you will need to attend a MIAM.

EEOC Chair Extends Mediation Pilot Program for Bias Claims - Bloomberg Law

EEOC Chair Extends Mediation Pilot Program for Bias Claims.

Posted: Wed, 06 Jan 2021 20:53:29 GMT [source]

Throughout a CIM session youngsters can either be seen by themselves or with siblings to go over exactly how they really feel concerning a circumstance. Household mediation includes a neutral third person-- a mediator-- helping you and your companion talk about as well as concur an outcome to your conflict between yourselves. Good communication amongst parents/carers, institution as well as West Lothian Council Education Providers is the crucial to positive relationships and collaborations. Updates on council solutions, most current news and also information associating with Coronavirus (COVID-19). Our team of certified lawyers & conciliators will help you decide what is the best course of action to take. The Openness Project is a registered charity in England & Wales run greatly by volunteers that likewise have permanent tasks. https://warwickshire.trusted-mediators.co.uk/ striving to safeguard additional funding to ensure that we can keep making household justice more clear for all who make use of the court and also work within it.

This contrasts with the alternative of going straight to court, which is typically a lot more combative, causing unnecessary problem, delay, stress and also economic price. Better Futures gives assistance to those who call for additional help to live independent and also satisfied lives. Our customers are individuals whose life chances including their wellness, employability and also social skills have actually been impoverished by the impact of living in robbed locations as well as on low revenues. Via a community-led method, Concrete assists those without a strategy, without a voice and without a home construct Concrete futures by taking on the underlying concerns that keep people from searching for and safeguarding a residence of their very own.

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There are lots of services in North Staffordshire that might be of rate of interest to you and also your demands, please click the links below to learn more concerning just how they can aid you. If you attend at The Dudson Centre, you can expect to consult with a number of our conciliators, Nettie Walding, Stuart Jones, Judith Pugsley as well as Ann Henshaw, you can read their backgrounds on our team page.

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hoebowl47 · 3 years

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What Does Family Members Arbitration Involve?

Office Arbitration Q & A.

Content

What Can Mediation Provide?

Arbitration For Kids As Well As Youths.

The Kid Inclusive Mediation Procedure.

Arbitration News

In future messages, we'll look at whether what's concurred at mediation is lawfully binding, and also what occurs in instance where a contract can't be gotten to. If there are youngsters entailed, after that their welfare demands and also speak to plans will certainly be a paramount factor to consider.

Diocese files Chapter 11 Plan of Reorganization - Catholic Star Herald

Diocese files Chapter 11 Plan of Reorganization.

Posted: Thu, 07 Jan 2021 11:40:00 GMT [source]

If the couple are seeking to exercise a financial settlement between them, they will certainly require to provide complete financial info concerning all their properties as well as revenue. The moderator will begin by talking with each celebration separately to develop what they desire arbitration to accomplish for them, as well as the problems they want to see solved. Both sides will after that have the ability to integrate under the moderator's advice to begin the procedure of working through the factors they desire to be resolved.

What Can Mediation Supply?

The objective of this meeting is to see if by collaborating with a conciliator, a neutral 3rd party, you might fix the concerns in between you and also prevent the need for court proceedings. At that meeting, the Arbitrator talks about with you the nature of your dispute and also discovers whether arbitration would be an appropriate means to try as well as deal with the problems. The Mediator also discusses just how the procedure works as well as the expenses entailed. Mediation is a commonsense choice for many couples; and also since it is your process you get to decide when the meetings occur and what is discussed. This is very various to court process where a Judge establishes the days of any kind of hearing as well as you are restricted on what problems will certainly be handled. The mediation itself does not divorce the pair, neither can the arbitrator, separating couples still require to seek an official divorce and undergo the separation treatment through the courts.

How much does divorce cost if both parties agree?

If both parties agree on all major issues, known as an uncontested divorce, you can keep the costs relatively low. If you do your own divorce papers and your divorce is amicable, costs could be under $500. Of course, there are filing fees in all states, which increase the cost.

Facility problems with much at risk might require lawyer-assisted arbitration. It can also be used as a last option for figuring out issues that have actually not had the ability to be worked out yet and also in the past turning to the court for a decision to be made by a court. Normally, you would have one lengthy arbitration session instead of several much shorter meetings. You and your lawyer may relocate to a separate room to your companion and their legal representative at some stage. If some type of arrangement is made after that everyone might rejoin again in the very same area and prepare an arrangement instantly. A household mediator will make a decision on economic situations while working as a third party. It is a choice based upon all pertinent details and also proof that has been provided.

Mediation For Kids As Well As Youths.

https://east-sussex.ukfamilymediationservice.co.uk/ can offer lawful guidance before during as well as after mediation. This is very important to help you see to it the decisions you are making remain in your benefits. Arbitration is the quickest and most inexpensive method of making plans for your youngsters and assets after splitting up and also separation. I have actually been a household mediator for over twenty years and have created a brand-new means to deliver the benefits of arbitration. My colleagues are Legal Solutions Payment Accredited moderators, and also an Independent Financial Advisor. Arbitration avoids the expense of lawful process as there is no need to exchange costly solicitors letters or attend Court. All the setups are concurred at mediation so you just require a lawyer to finalise any type of legal information.

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When you litigate you remain in the hands of the judge and have no straight control over the outcome. Mediation enables you to be an event to the decisions you make, making it easier to accept the terms and carry on.

The Child Inclusive Arbitration Procedure.

This paper is not legitimately binding, yet it can be become a legitimately binding court order. Divorce mediation will certainly get rid of the requirement for extensive legal fights and also conserve you approximately 75% of the cost, as compared to making use of a solicitor to combat your corner. There will certainly be no requirement to need to participate in court and go through the tension and also anxiousness of doing this. Separation mediation will make certain issues are solved quickly as well as with a favorable result. Your household moderator will certainly assist make certain that any conversations you have with your ex-spouse, are balanced and fair.

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Arbitration entails preparing in-depth prepare for all elements of your separation or divorce. These strategies may be made legally binding with an uncomplicated legal procedure that will set you back just a couple of hundred pounds and also only take a few weeks. Arbitration is the least expensive and also most efficient method to make prepare for youngsters as well as financial resources after splitting up or separation. We offer a quick timely service for individuals requiring to settle residential property, finance and also kid call problems. You will collaborate with the arbitrator '1 to1 ′ from your initial query until your arbitration has ended up.

Mediation News

They will certainly guarantee they stay focussed on the future, rather than on the past. A separation moderator, will constantly continue to be neutral as well as will make sure both events are listened to and given equal opportunity to share their viewpoints, views and propositions. Relaxed Solutions offers an empathic assistance service for ex-partners where interaction has broken down or become very confrontational. This service is given where one or both parties need break from the conflict yet where communication about children or cash are still vital to daily living. We give a range of expert divorce arbitration and also assistance solutions anywhere you are in this process to aid you and your household handle and also take control of this period as efficiently as is feasible.

Greece - World Trademark Review

Greece.

Posted: Fri, 08 Jan 2021 13:40:42 GMT [source]

Generally going to court relating to financial issues to prepare for separation expenses ₤ 15,000 per person. Making use of Solicitors to attempt to negotiate prices in between ₤ 6,000 and ₤ 12,000 each, which frequently relies on your wide range. It is approximated that the cost of utilizing solicitors and litigating on issues around financial resources is in between ₤ 4000 and also ₤ 12,000 each and also takes a typical 15 months compared with approximately 3 months in Arbitration. If you reach an arrangement it will be drafted by the mediator as a 'Memorandum of Understanding'.

Any type of arrangement you get to during arbitration will certainly be voluntary, yet you can apply for a Consent Order from a court to make the arrangement lawfully binding. Arbitration is significantly the most preferred option for dealing with the issues bordering divorce as well as relationship malfunction. The overall purpose is to reach an agreement and also for a "memorandum of understanding" to be formulated showing this as well as one that both celebrations feel they can subscribe to.

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This can be a terrific option for lots of pairs as long as both celebrations are willing to mediate. Mediation is about settling economic and also kids issues without proceeding to Court. Often it will be devastating for one or both of the celebrations involved, but in some cases it is liberating. In virtually every situation there will certainly be quite feeling, tension and also cost included. Even in amicable splittings up it is possible for the separation process to sour relationships and also develop conflict, as opposed to deal with conflict. Crisp & Co's separation solicitors in London as well as the South East have many years of experience aiding people to get separated rapidly, cost-effectively and also with marginal dispute utilizing arbitration and other non-confrontational approaches.

Arbitration Insurance Claims.

Arbitration is performed through a series of taken care of expense one-on-one meetings. Each event first attends their own specific assessment conference which lasts concerning an hour. The meetings are carried out with the events in the same space wherever possible however there is additionally the alternative for the events to have their own separate rooms and also for the mediator to 'shuttle bus' in between them. These conferences normally last a hr as well as a half and also it normally takes between 2 and six meetings to reach a proposed agreement.

With a delicate however useful strategy, we intend to make obtaining separated as simple as possible. Arbitration is normally ideal for the vast majority of divorce instances. Nonetheless, if the partnership between you and your spouse is particularly acrimonious, it may be challenging to maintain the process productive. Arbitration may additionally not be suitable in situations where there has actually been domestic misuse and a court will generally allow you to avoid the need to take into consideration arbitration where this is the case. Many separating couples have around 3 sessions of mediation, although this will depend upon your scenarios as well as just how much development you are able to make in each session.

Having developed a life with each other there are numerous emotional as well as functional problems to be fixed including setups for youngsters, division of assets, where you will certainly live as well as what as well as how you will certainly inform loved ones. One of the most stressful facets of divorce is that you feel like your economic circumstance and also future childcare plans are beyond your control.

Is Divorce Mediation legally binding?

When you make an agreement at mediation, you and the other party can also agree whether it will be an informal agreement made 'in good faith' or whether it will be enforceable. sign up are generally made 'in good faith' and will only be enforceable if all parties agree to sign a legally binding document.

In some cases the parties will collaborate at the end to finalise whatever and it is also feasible for the legal representatives to videotape the agreed terms right away. As lawful time can be pricey, legal representative helped mediation usually happens over 1 or 2 sessions instead of a collection of sessions. We have offices in both London as well as Surrey and collaborate with clients throughout the South East.

Our lawyers comprehend that all situations are unique and we represent our clients' rate of interests at all times. We give customized, sensible and clear lawful recommendations and also we are committed to accomplishing the very best results for every single customer. Mediation is a volunteer process in which both events attempt to reach agreement on the concerns in between them. In order to proceed to court with your divorce, you must reveal proof in the absence of being able to assert an exemption that you have actually attempted arbitration by participating in a preliminary Arbitration Information as well as Assessment Fulfilling. If mediation has actually been deemed unnecessary for your situations, then proof of this will certainly additionally be called for before legal procedures can progress. We can mediate on all, or part of, your disputes focusing on the arrangements for your youngsters, or, if these are currently concurred, we can concentrate on your monetary matters in mediation. Separation Arbitration is a process where separating spouses can sit down with a neutral 3rd party in order to resolve the issues around their separation.

If you would certainly prefer, you can likewise consult with a conciliator from Consilia Arbitration who will certainly be able to answer any type of concerns you have as well as hopefully ease any kind of anxieties.

Whatever the concern, the Arbitration Task offers the assistance of trained area moderators that will promote a conversation that hopefully results in an agreement which everyone can cope with.

It covers all issues arising from household partnership failure where arbitration is ideal.

If you have any type of worries about the choice of venue you ought to increase this either with the individual who has referred you to arbitration, or the Consilia arbitrator at the very least three days before the arbitration meeting.

Our arbitrators charge a fixed charge for each mediation, whether it lasts for a whole or for a half day, as well as you will certainly locate that our prices are very affordable.

Nonetheless, experience reveals that where an arrangement is made throughout arbitration, it is most likely to stick than if a solution is enforced by an outsider such as a judge.

Their qualification is certified by theInstitute for Leadership and Administration, as well as they accomplish regular proceeding professional development.

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himikochan · 4 years

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SJW Handbook and Advice - CHICAGO-CENTRIC

Hello everyone I’ve been compiling info for protesters and non-protesters for Chicago and I thought I’d share it here. It’s copy and pasted from a few different posts but it’s somewhat comprehensive and draws on a lot of ideas I’ve seen circulating. Not all of this info is Chicago-specific, but I do talk about local laws in Chicago and bail funds in Chicago.

SAFETY AND GOOD CONDUCT AT A PROTEST

-Tear gas: the agent in tear gas that's painful, lachrymator, binds to water molecules. It's so effective because it gets into your throat/lungs/eyes and also binds to the moisture on your skin. If you suspect tear gas might be used at a protest [which honestly you should just guess now], you should try to make sure as much of your body is covered as possible- wear long sleeves and pants and try to cover your hair. If possible, have gloves and goggles or sunglasses handy. When you are exposed to tear gas, try to get a wet cloth against your face ASAP- the moisture on the cloth will bind to the lachrymator and prevent it from getting inside of you. Pour water on a bandana or mask and try to keep it as close to your body as possible. Walk away from the cloud of gas ASAP- and before you go inside your home, try to stuff your clothes into a bag [wash them in 4-5 days when the lachrymator isn't as reactive anymore]. Take a shower as soon as possible and try to wash your hair 2-3 times- some people have told me that you should take a cold shower. If you are directly exposed to lachrymator and it gets in your eyes/mouth/nose, rinse with milk or a water/baking soda solution ASAP. Lachrymator is a very unstable molecule and either of those is pretty effective at neutralizing it.

-IF you're in a position to try and take care of a tear gas canister [if you've come prepared with a traffic cone, water, a mask, and goggles- or you're reckless as shit] cover it with a traffic cone. That will trap the fumes. Then pour as much water as you can into the traffic cone, hopefully it will put out the fuse inside the canister. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN ATTEMPTING TO DO THIS- and do some more research on how to do it properly. I have not personally had a chance to use this tactic.

-The cops may have vans with IMSI catchers and/or cell phone jammers: IMSI catchers gather information about you and cell phone jammers prevent you from being able to use your phone. Carry a watch, make an exit plan with a vehicle/public transit OUTSIDE of the area where the protest is happening, and sharpie the phone number of an emergency contact on your body. There may come a time where you want to shut off your phone- even if you don't get detained, knowing there is a friendly phone number you can access will make you feel better. Be careful about taking pictures of fellow protesters’ faces- the police are using pictures on social media to target protesters after the fact. UPDATE: I just saw another post about IMSI catchers/stingray stuff. They suggest leaving your phone at home because turning your phone off is a break in your normal patterns and can be used in a prosecution. They suggest using a burner phone- this might be the way to go if you live in a city where IMSI stuff is confirmed. SECOND UPDATE: Imperfect protection measures STILL DO SOME GOOD. There are plenty of reasons you can be in a position where you need your cell phone on you and turning off your location services and/or putting on airplane mode for a time may still do you some good!!! IMSI catchers rely upon being the strongest signal in an area [cells automatically connect to whatever seems to be the strongest signal carrier]. From what I understand IMSI catchers have a limited range and basically a max capacity of how many phones they can support while still being the strongest signal in a given area. So for large protests, they'd need to deploy a lot of trucks with IMSI catchers to collect lots of data about crowds. IN MY PERSONAL PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE, which is not universal and may be out dated information, the Chicago police tend to use cell phone jammers [which prevent you from getting a signal at all]. This way they can try to stop protesters from calling/texting each other- make an out strategy with the people accompanying you about where to rendezvous if you're separated. Here is a little information regarding IMSI catcher use in Illinois."The law permits law enforcement agencies to use CSS devices only to locate, track the location of, or identify a communications device—in other words, they cannot configure them to capture the content of any communications. [...] Is CPD abiding by state law rules? It is impossible to say without any record-keeping or audits. CPD has not responded to our most recent FOIA request for information about any new policies, procedures, or records on its use of this technology, so we can only assume that it has not developed any."

-That being said: many capabilities of your phone rely upon knowing where you are to work. So IMSI catchers aren't the only thing you need to worry about.

-If you're able, bring water and some first aid supplies [such as gauze, tape, antibacterial cream, saline solutions, gloves, wipes etc] for fellow protesters [and maybe snacks]. Even at past tepid protests, I've seen fellow protesters fall into glass or hurt themselves trying to climb into higher ground just to see. If you don't know how to administer first aid for things like lacerations, ASK FOR HELP. Many protests have people trained to help and we're all in this together. You might want to read this thread on gunshot wounds, it's better to loosely know what you're supposed to do, just in case. Learn to apply a tourniquet- hint, it’s not just putting a belt around someone’s leg. The snacks are to keep everyone’s spirits up and remind us that we’re in this TOGETHER.

-Running is easier with a backpack than a messenger bag, wear comfortable shoes, and have something to write with. The mood might strike you to change your sign a bit,

-If you’re protesting in an area that isn’t close to where you live, try and reach out to someone that lives in the area. You may need to get out quickly and no way to get home and need a safe house- in Chicago, the mayor instituted a curfew from 9pm-6am at 9:04 tonight after the city had blocked every bridge and shut down public transit. Protesters are now basically locked into our downtown area with no way to get home and the police are allowed to detain anyone outdoors.

-Check in with other protesters. Do your best to maintain social distancing, but try to make sure that your fellow protesters are not lagging behind due to injury or something else. Solidarity is the goal above all else.

Lori Lightfoot has kept the curfew in place and Chicagoans are expected off the streets between 9pm-6am until further notice unless they have an "essential job". Public transit has been stopped altogether in many areas- so if you have to go out, book enough time for you to walk there and back.

Here are some important reminders of your rights- if your are arrested, stopped in you car, and what to do with your phone. PLEASE READ THEM FOR YOUR SAFETY. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS.

IF YOU ARE STOPPED:

-In Chicago, the police are permitted to ask your name and address and other questions (to determine if you are involved in a past/present crime). I believe you only NEED to give them your name, regardless of how many questions they ask you.

-You should refresh yourself on how to properly invoke your right to remain silent. Remember to ask “Am I under arrest/being detained?” If they say yes, you HAVE to say “I’m invoking my right to a publicly provided lawyer, and my right to remain silent.” SAY EXACTLY THAT- variations of that phrase are NOT always effective and the cops will use any opportunity they can to undermine your rights and not give you a lawyer. YOU MUST STAY SILENT- otherwise you’re technically waiving your right to remain silent and MUST EXPLICITLY re-invoke your right when you’re done talking for it to apply.

IF YOU ARE STOPPED FOR QUESTIONING:

-Police may “pat-down” your clothing if they suspect a concealed weapon. The ACLU says do not physically resist, but make it clear that you don’t consent to any further search.

IF YOU ARE STOPPED IN YOUR CAR:

-Upon request, show them your driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. In certain cases, your car can be searched without a warrant as long as the police have probable cause. To protect yourself later, you should make it clear that you do not consent to a search. It is not lawful for police to arrest you simply for refusing to consent to a search.

ON THE TOPIC OF UNLOCKING YOUR PHONE:

I haven't found any hard and fast rules about whether or not you have to unlock your phone if you are held by the police. A Vox article from February 2020 says "If your phone is protected by a passcode or biometric unlocking features, there’s a chance cops can’t gain access to your personal data. But that’s not guaranteed. [...] But if your phone is locked with a passcode and law enforcement can’t hack into it, the Fifth Amendment may be your friend. Essentially, the Fifth Amendment says you can’t be compelled to give self-incriminating testimony. [...] Testimony, in this case, is defined as revealing the contents of your own mind. Therefore, civil rights advocates say, the government can’t force you to tell them your phone’s password." But this is still being played out in the courts- there's tons of pending cases and no real precedence for this on either side.

Freedom.press in an April 2020 article says "If you are arrested or taken into police custody, you should verbally state that you do not consent to a search of your devices. A law enforcement agency is only permitted to conduct a warrantless search of your device if a compelling case for an emergency can be made." There's a lot of potentially useful information in their article, which I will link in the comments.

REMEMBER- cops are easily protected most of the time for infringing on our rights regarding being searched if it could be considered "reasonably" legal for them to do so [even if it isn't]. Saying "I want a lawyer, dog" does not invoke your right to an attorney, being silent does not invoke your right to remain silent, if you do not verbally refuse to be searched your silence is taken as consent to be searched. The limited dissemination of information on the legality of searching a phone could protect them if they coerced/forced you to unlocking your phone.

If you are in Chicago and see a post/event about protesting today or tomorrow [June 1st]. DO RIGHT BY YOURSELF AND MAKE SURE IT'S A REAL PROTEST.

I've heard that some VERY suspicious people are putting together a BLM protest in Chicago tomorrow. These people are NOT experienced organizers, NOT affiliated with BLM Chicago, and NOT known to anyone in the Chicago organizing/protesting communities.

We KNOW that a lot of the rioting and looting in other cities were begun and propagated by the police and white supremacist groups [not by protesters or ordinary citizens]. We do not know if these people are cops, white supremacists, or just irresponsible folx, but it could very well be a trap to escalate violence, incarcerate allies, and justify the Mayor granting more restrictions on the city.

The source I saw was for the purpose of organizing medics to deal with the inevitable fall out, but protect yourself and your fellow protestors by not going to this sham event.

Hello everyone- protesting not your cup of tea? That's okay! Protesting is the showiest part of being an active citizen and activist, but it's by no means the most important part.

Below, I'll be posting links for people that need your money AND non-monetary ways you can help.

-If you know people protesting in your area, offer them a place to clean up afterwards and possibly crash if public transit is closed off. If you can safely offer them a shower and a place to change clothes- that can make a huge difference. It could help them evade being targeted by the police on the way home, buy them time to get home without being part of a crowd, and they may need a place to wash off residual tear gas or pepper spray [or the blood of a comrade]

-If there are protests in your area and you have extra supplies [water, pre-packaged snacks, materials for signs, gloves, first aid kits, masks, etc], you can hand them off to a protester OR leave them in a place they'll find them with a note.

-Be wary showing the faces of protesters on your social media or having them saved online. Be mindful about who you're sharing details of a protest or protesters with and try to do your best about sharing accurate information about donations. One of the bail funds in another city recently had someone set up a fake venmo account under the name of the bail fund and many people donated to it, believing they were helping bail people out.

-Your friends with small businesses may want help or need supplies boarding up their windows- most protesters are avoiding small businesses when things turn sour [and in fact, most looting and rioting appears to trace back to undercover cops and white supremacists right now] but it's still a good idea to close up shop if you can. See if anyone needs help securing their business. .-Make fliers about properly administering first aid, basic rights regarding being detained/questioned/arrested, and phone numbers of local communal bail funds.

-Many people who were on the fence about BLM, police brutality, and protesting are beginning to see the truth of it all now that the pandemic has forced us to confront racial/ethnic and class inequality. We have more allies than we did before- make sure to give them the toolkit necessary to enacting change.

Protesters need funds in so many places right now:

-Chicago Communal Bail https://chicagobond.org/

-ACLU Illinoishttps://www.aclu-il.org/en/donate

-BLM Chicago https://www.blacklivesmatterchicago.com/donate/

-The Family of George Floyd https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

-Minnesota Freedom Fund https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/

-ACLU Minnesota https://www.aclu-mn.org/en/donate

-The Bail Project https://bailproject.org/

#BLM #BLM Chicago #Chicago #Protest #Protests #Protesting Advice #advice #just advice from your local Nikkeijin thats been protesting since they could walk

5 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

I mean, here’s the thing....

I’m more than capable of writing positive Batfam posts, meta deep dives that don’t dwell overlong on negativity, serious content, light hearted content, content about each and every one of the Batfam....anyone familiar with just a few different samples of my posts knows I do not lack for topics to happily ramble on about for absurd lengths. Hell, I’m pretty sure there’s a direct correlation where like, the less negative emotions I have about the content I’m writing, the LONGER it ends up being.

So its not like I particularly need or want to be the ‘loud angry scary adult cis white man yelling at kids’ to have something to say or talk about. Or that I particularly like that state of mind. I’m certainly not unaware of my privileges or that I can be off-putting or not someone everyone wants to be around on here. Its actually something I put a lot of thought into regularly, as personal accountability is such a big deal to me, and that certainly includes my own. There are times where I’ve looked back on something and thought yeah, I definitely could’ve dialed it down there.

But not gonna lie, given that personal accountability is kinda My Theme and I DO put a lot of time and effort into being self-aware and taking care not to cross certain lines, whether you believe me or not or agree with where I draw my lines or not....

Its more than a little obnoxious to regularly see my positive posts and my emotion-neutral meta posts and even my negative critical of canon posts take off and get hundreds of notes in just a couple of days....

But without fail, any time I so much as suggest that fandom’s perpetuating some of the very same toxic tendencies I criticize canon for, with the extension of that thought being hey fandom, unlike canon and how its written, we actually can do something about how we write these very same matters and slowly but surely normalize reader resistance to canon still perpetuating those ideas in the future, and maybe someday even they might buy a vowel and realize hey, our audience does not like what we’re selling here.

*Shrugs* Or maybe not. But even SOME changes to how specific problematic tropes and dynamics are being written in fandom currently could still only be an improvement, is all I’m saying.

Except, every time, without fail, no matter HOW I go about saying it, how polite, mild, civil, non-accusatory....its either crickets or immediate heels dug into the sand as often the very same people who commented on my neutral meta with variations of ‘this is pretty insightful’, like at the mere SUGGESTION its worth taking a more critical look at their own content to see what they might unknowingly be perpetuating and like....the very idea of asking fic writers to be more accountable for what toxic tendencies we perpetuate within our own creative works, even just among our own far more limited platforms....

Its like... HOLD UP! I AM BEING ATTACKED! WITHOUT CAUSE! WHY DO YOU HATE THE FANS? WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT THE ACTUAL COMICS???

And its just like....uh....I did. I do. You were there. You were saying I was making some really good points. But without calling any individuals out or making specific insinuations or personal attacks....I am suddenly just the most unreasonable of the unreasonables, because I dared say “hey, we can’t do anything about what canon writes, but we can do something about the things we write, and actually transform some of the more problematic tendencies and dynamics from canon into things that benefit all the characters and all the fans.”

But nah. Without exception, those posts either get nada or they get vitriol, no matter my own linguistic volume....and meanwhile, posts I made just before them and just after them are now hitting the thousand notes mark. So I kinda can’t help but wonder, is the problem really that I magically lose all ability to grasp supremely basic concepts and start spewing irrelevant gibberish anytime I’m critical of fandom specifically? Or.....just spitballing here....is it at ALL possible that maybe I’m not as much of the problem there as you want to make me about to be?

Like, say what you will about how toxic my more negative, angry posts can be, but personally, I think artificial positivity is just as toxic....plastering a ‘I see nothing wrong here’ sign with a smiley face over a bunch of mold doesn’t actually accomplish anything but allow that mold to fester and grow even further, without notice, until it becomes too widespread to ignore anymore at which point its usually rooted so deep its impossible to get out.

So yeah. I get angry, the all caps come out, and the volume level of my posts on those subjects rises. Its something I’m aware of and something I’m okay with and stand by with certain posts and that I decide I’m not okay with and keep an eye against repeating with certain other posts. Its a process, it doesn’t have an endpoint or finish line, and I’m okay with all of that.

What I’m NOT okay with though, and never will be, is the heat I draw for that and the condemnations and criticisms of my behavior and how toxic and unpleasant I make fandom with those posts....as though the tendencies I’m pointing out in them, by virtue of already being present throughout fandom, don’t already make it toxic and unpleasant in a lot of ways, for a lot of people.

But for all the times I have someone respond to me or call me out specifically for one of my angry posts that very deliberately are made with no specific individuals in mind, just generic references to fandom wide tendencies as a whole....there’s a whole lot of ‘helpful advice’ for all the things I should do different or better to avoid making fandom a more toxic place.....and not a hint of awareness that there’s anything at all they could be doing differently to make fandom less toxic than it already is in various ways.

So just saying, I’m kiiiiiinda not super keen on being lectured for my shit by people who are committed to the belief that their own shit doesn’t stink....WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, I have a good half a dozen positive or neutral meta posts still making the rounds through fandom and consistently picking up notes that according to the tags, generally seem to be viewed as adding positively to fandom in their own respective fashions.

Which basically from my perspective, makes things look like this:

Me: regularly contributes positive content that’s received positively by lots of different parts of fandom, not just the Dick Grayson stan corner of it, with zero negativity attached to these posts....regularly contributes meta content that’s deemed insightful and adding fresh viewpoints by lots of different parts of fandom, not just the Dick Grayson stan corner of it, again, with zero negativity attached because it doesn’t rely on putting down any other characters to make whatever points I’m after.....

....but then contributes posts that are critical of certain specific characterizations and viewpoints within fandom itself, without actually having a twelve step powerpoint presentation attached detailing ALL FANS MUST DO THIS INSTEAD....and instead I usually just include a spectrum of possible alternative takes.....

But wait! Nooooow comes the pushback. Which usually sounds like various forms of this:

Stop trying to police us! La la la la can’t hear you over the sound of your moral superiority complex! You just want us to do exactly what you want us to do which is gaslighting and the very same abusive behavior you talk about which makes you abusive!

And also, a bunch of changing the subject or avoiding addressing various points I raise completely.

Maybe you see my issue? I don’t need tips on how to be a positive fandom presence, I actually don’t have any trouble creating positive content or meta, a large amount of which is deemed insightful and humorous and otherwise well received....but the second I make a criticism of fandom and suggest there’s things fans could be doing differently to address the toxicity existing around various characters in various respects, instead of just keeping everything about DC’s flaws which none of us including me have any kind of platform to even reach DC with......

Suddenly I have ZERO idea what I’m talking about, I clearly don’t get the point of fandom, period, I’m obsessed with my own moral righteousness, and am like, so out of the ballpark misguided its not even funny, and I need all of this explained to me like a five year old, because everyone obviously should get that ‘we’re just fans, why are you blaming us for things we write specifically instead of DC who are getting paid as if that’s even the point?’

So yup. I get ticked off, I make more posts venting about being ticked off, rinse and repeat and my volume goes up.

And that’s it by the way.

You’ll notice, that’s kinda the worst that ever happens, because I literally have never done anything but....type posts with lots of capitalized letters. I don’t target specific individuals, I don’t harass people, I don’t @ specific fics or fic writers or urge people to flood their comments or ask boxes with callouts. I’ve never called anyone in this fandom names or made personal attacks other than the posts various people have felt targeted by because my description of specific tropes or tendencies I have a problem with apparently made them think I was talking about them I guess? Hmm. Weird.

So what’s the point of this post? Idk. Nothing really. Not trying to accomplish anything, just putting my thoughts out there as a way to work through them because like....that’s literally what I have this blog for, lmao. And FYI, I super don’t appreciate the tactic of condemning me for my quote unquote rage issues and framing all this as me yelling at kids on the internet....kids, specifically, and oh right, just screaming at people rather than addressing my own abusive behavior.

Since abuse is a hugely personal and important topic to me, let me just say accusing me of abusing generic fandom in general (since again, I haven’t actually made any of this personal about any individual with my fandom criticisms)....like, I’m quite willing to consider and address flaws in my own behavior when raised, but I’m not a fan of being called abusive in a context that demonstrates a complete lack of awareness as to what abuse actually is.

You don’t like me yelling on my blog? Fine, you don’t have to like it, or me. But abuse is the exploitation of a power differential, taking advantage of power one person has over the other, or that the other person just doesn’t have period. The fact that I am an adult cis white man does not make me aggressively capitalizing stuff in my own posts the same as “the same triggering position of the cisgender man who screams and makes kids feel scared and wince and hide from your posts.”

Like, lol, nice. Classy. I mean who cares right, that yeah, even acknowledging that we can legitimately sense tones and moods through even written text.....a person ranting on their internet blog is not remotely interchangeable with the physical presence of an adult cis white man loudly screaming in your face and with the potential for immediate consequences and harm. Does that mean the tone of my posts is above criticism? No. It means exactly what I said. The one is not the same as the other.

Secondly, the repeated insistence on me yelling at kids...and this person I’m quoting isn’t the only one who’s done this, FYI, and its crap. Am I unaware that there are a lot of minors in fandom? No, I absolutely am not. Its why I make a point to check the blog of someone I’m replying to heatedly before I respond, to make sure they’re not a minor, and if they are, I don’t engage. So that I can categorically state, with complete certainty, I have never yelled at a kid in this fandom. Do my generic yells about ‘fandom’ not include kids then? Yeah, you could say kids are included there, though again I’d have to question why my criticisms of specific handlings of specific subjects somehow equates to me yelling at specific individuals, whom apparently are all kids and only kids. Like, framing my posts as being all about me screaming at kids specifically is a deliberate choice with a clear aim of making me look as bad as possible. This isn’t subtle.

Third, as an abuse survivor I’m keenly aware that doesn’t exempt me from being abusive myself, but it does mean I find it really fucking gross to be labeled abusive because my posts make kids feel scared and wince and want to hide from my posts. As someone who as a kid absolutely had to hide from their abuser in fear, I really, dearly would love to know what exactly it is about the capitalized sentences written by a man who couldn’t even pick a stranger’s URL out of a lineup, that’s so scary that kids, specifically, want to run and hide from the big bad posts. No, seriously. Go on. Please tell me what exactly it is about my screaming rage issues as conveyed by my posts, which pose any kind of threat or even the potential of threat for someone who I’ve never interacted with and only feels personally attacked by my posts by virtue of associating themselves with the behaviors or tendencies I’ve centered in those posts as the things I’m specifically angry about.

I also apparently am abusive because that’s what you call it when I gaslight or attempt to gaslight a fandom....which is apparently what you call it when my fandom policing tries to get everyone to do exactly what I want them to do. Which again is pretty interesting to me given that I’ve literally never told even generic ‘fandom’ at large to do anything in specific other than....’hey this thing I think is shitty and thus am criticizing shouldn’t be a thing, stop doing it.” Oh wait, I’m sorry, I also ask people to consider their creative impact and not insist on pretending everything we write exists in a vacuum and has no potential to carry harm, and just keep this in mind when making our creative choices. Still not sure how that’s demanding everyone do things exactly the way I want them, since the only clear and actionable request or demand in all of that is...omg....HE ASKED THAT WE THINK ABOUT THE STUFF WE WRITE, HOW COULD HE???

Like, literally, that’s the furthest any of my angry, rage-borne DEMANDS have gone: I’ve asked people apply more personal accountability to their own creative works and not take their potential impact for granted just because they’re a fic writer rather than a published one....and oh yeah, not engage in perpetuating certain tropes or dynamics I consider toxic.

Now, anyone is certainly welcome to disagree with my take on any or all of those tropes, tendencies or dynamics being toxic....but to do so, like, you need to actually DISAGREE AND MAYBE EVEN TELL ME WHY. But the overall refusal to engage with any of my posts criticizing certain fandom tendencies regarding the characters, other than to make it about my overall toxicity and RAGE.....like, that means that I keep making posts that include specific examples for what I’m describing and why I think they’re toxic, and nobody’s actually made any kind of case for me being wrong in any of those posts? So.....its not actually gaslighting to try and convince people these things I bring up are toxic....when I’m actually including reasons and examples of the things I’m talking about in order to convince people, and I’m not actually ignoring, evading or misconstruing counter-arguments....because nobody’s actually making counter arguments in the first place!! That’s not fucking gaslighting, that’s called EXPRESSING MY VIEWPOINT ON A MATTER.

And for the record, like I said earlier, abuse is the perversion or exploitation of a power differential. Try all you want, but you can’t claim I have power over myriad specific individuals I don’t even know EXIST without them interacting with me directly....power that I’m then exploiting just by yelling at stuff on my blog. Yes I’m aware of my overall privileges as a cis and white man. But none of those change a damn thing about the fact that I’m not actually yelling at anyone in specific and people reading my posts have to decide for THEMSELVES whether the thing I’m pissed about is a thing they do before they can even CLAIM to feel at all ‘targeted’ by my RAGE (with me still not being able to tell from that who any particular individual this might apply to is, and also, THATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF ANY OF MY POSTS)....NOR do any of my privileges negate the fact that every single one of you exists in varying physical distances from me, unknown to me, and I have ZERO power to compel you to even read my posts in the first place, or to keep you from exiting your browser or app or even just going ahead and blocking me to be sure you’re ‘safe’ from the big bad abusive boogeyman and his posts of Gaslighting and Rage.

Me venting on my own damn blog, even knowing that other people can see what I post and share it if they want, is NOT the same thing as screaming in your face and making you want to wince and hide, no matter WHO you are. It just literally isn’t. Doesn’t mean you can’t have a problem with my posts or my tone, it just means what it says. Its not the same thing, they’re not interchangeable or even comparable, because NONE OF YOU ARE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE. There are NO possible consequences to ignoring, disagreeing with or just scrolling past my posts, firstly because THERE’S ZERO WAY FOR ME TO EVEN KNOW THAT, IF I EVEN CARED. Nobody, kid or adult, can ever HIDE from my posts, because that would first require MY POSTS EVER BE ABLE TO FIND THEM. Whatever the hell THAT even means.

You’re not my prisoners. You don’t have to be here. You’re not even ACTUALLY HERE. Nobody owes me an audience, and honestly, the lack of one wouldn’t change all that much because I babble on all the time about shit none of my followers actually care about, because I post for ME first and foremost, and people from there are welcome to do whatever they want to do with my content, or do nothing with it at all. I literally don’t care, other than thinking its shitty that so many people find my content worthwhile except and until I get critical of fandom behaviors at which point they only engage with it to make it all about ME and MY toxicity instead of anything I actually posted about. Which I then...gasp...vent about. How dare I be angry in the space I cultivated for myself online and other people chose to look in on by their own choice because rather than being threatened or bullied into doing so, they found at least something I’d said interesting enough to be worth listening to hear what else I might say.

I HAVE ZERO POWER OVER ANY OF YOU. At most my posts hold some weight for the people who think I generally have interesting or insightful things to say, but that’s literally it, and that’s the result of me having said things they find interesting and insightful overall. I can’t MAKE anyone do anything, if I’d ever even tried to make anyone do anything other than actually LISTEN to what I ACTUALLY am saying on certain subjects and CONSIDER IT. So if we’re going to throw words like gaslighting around so carelessly, we might want to hold that one up next to the phrase ‘fandom policing’ I so often get accused of....as though I’m any kind of actual authority with actual power to actually enforce any actual agenda I even actually have.

Which brings me to the last thing I want to touch on, which is my supposed moral righteousness, that oozes all over everything I post and drowns out any good points I have to make, which again, apparently is just in terms of fandom criticisms, since every other point I’ve ever made in fandom seems to come through just fine.

Like.....tbh, I don’t really know what to do with the many times I’ve heard people say I’m self-righteous and obsessed with my own moral righteousness. Considering like...I’m not shy about acknowledging my flaws, I know perfectly well I can be loud and angry and aggressive in my posts and have talked plenty before about not being super proud of that, I’ve never claimed to be a saint and I don’t think my actions and choices are the gold standard everyone should adhere to. In fact, the only time I make a point to state what *I* do or did or what *I* think or believe....is when its directly relevant to something critical I’m saying.

And you think that’s because I want everyone to be aware of how moral and righteous I am? Fucking please, if I were as self-absorbed as you people make me out to be when giving me shit, I just wanna know when you think I’d have time to squeeze out 10K of random Batfam meta every other day, instead of being busy finding new things to say about myself.

Literally the only reason I make a point to bring up my own behavior or choices when criticizing others is because PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY IS THE CORE THEME OF LITERALLY EVERYTHING I SAY IN THIS REGARD.

And you know what personal accountability requires? A willingness to acknowledge and address your own behavior. Which is why its kinda hilarious the consensus seems to be I’m too up my own ass to even be aware of my own behavior or actions, given that the literal actual reason I bring up examples of what I did or think when making posts about personal accountability....is to stress that REGARDLESS of what those things were, I think its important to not just be talking out of my ass. But rather to emphasize I hold myself to the same expectations I’m asking other people to consider, I’m putting it out there and on the record, here’s what I did relevant to this matter I’m talking about and why I made that choice....see, I’m not asking anything of anyone else that I don’t expect to be held to myself. ITS NOT ABOUT TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WITH MY MORAL RIGHTEOUSNESS, ITS LITERALLY JUST ME TRYING TO ESTABLISH I’M NOT LOOKING TO BE A HYPOCRITE IN THIS REGARD, SPECIFICALLY.

Like, is maybe that unnecessary and counter-productive? Could be, its something for me to think about some more, but gotta tell you, its a little hard figuring out what will and won’t work when I’m STILL waiting on the first time someone actually engages me on an actual criticism I’m actually voicing about fandom.

*Shrugs* Whatever. Like I said, I don’t even know if this post has a point beyond just getting this all out of my head, so whatever. Make of it what you will. People will likely still just keep viewing me however they already do, for better or worse. Oh well. C’est la vie. Its not the end of the world anymore than any other post I make is, no matter how much RAGE I imbue it with. As I’ve always said, that’s literally the only reason for any of the posts I make ever...I’m just getting them out of my head and down on paper, so to speak, in whatever mood I’m feeling while thinking about that topic. Yeah, I phrase things for a generic fandom audience most of the time, other than when I’m talking to someone directly, but never have I made a post with an entitled and expectant belief that people will take every word I say literally and regard it as a directive for what they should do and how they should live their lives. Since, y’know, I don’t actually think I should be the ruler of everyone’s choices.

Over and over I keep repeating, I just want people to put more THOUGHT into their choices, and keep in mind various contexts that yeah, I think are relevant to certain topics, sue me. Because the vast majority of creative choices I take issue with, I actually fundamentally believe are just the result of a lack of thinking critically or with a broader awareness of various implications or repercussions. Shocking though this may seem, I’m actually a big believer that humans are inherently good or at least have the capacity to be.

The thing that amps up my frustration and ticks me off so often is how much time and effort I end up wasting trying to get people to address the actual things I’m asking them to consider, instead of dancing around it and evading it in every way possible, not even like, as an attempt to counter it, just willfully refusing to let it be about the topic I ACTUALLY raised.

And yeah, just FYI, to whom it may concern, since this is so often relevant it seems.....gotta say, I find it particularly odious that WITHOUT FAIL, the very same people who carelessly throw out ‘don’t like don’t read’ as the catch-all solution to every issue anyone ever might have with something in fandom, as though its that simple.....

Time after time demonstrate a COMPLETE refusal or inability to take their own damn advice, since NONE of this would ever even come up if the loudest advocates of that system actually APPLIED it themselves.

And simply....didn’t read my posts.

I fail to see why I’m expected to do what they don’t consider worth doing themselves, to spare themselves the aggravation (or fear) from reading my posts. Let alone interacting with them.

But whatevs. When do I ever know what I’m talking about anyway, lol, on account of all this RAGE I’ve got mucking with my head and objectivity.

Oh well, gotta go. KALEN SMASH!

19 notes · View notes

writing-for-amusement · 5 years

Text

Commission for Confidence, 4

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with her self-esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: Okay, so the end of this chapter is admittedly a little choppy, but if I had included more, it would have been probably unnecessarily long (especially since I’ve kinda developed a pattern for myself with length of chapters). I’m so glad that people seem to be enjoying my work!! I’m thinking of posting some other stuff sometime soon, so I don’t burnout on this story, but idk yet. Anyway, enjoy this chapter, please give me feedback, I crave it.

I feel like I should mention that I try to be as neutral with looks as possible. Even if you have darker skin, you still blush, even if it might not be visible. Hence why I often refer to it as “heat rushing to your face” or whatever, but I try to not mention how red it makes Y/N look. If anyone has advice on how to do it better, please let me know!

Also, if you want to be in the taglist, just let me know!!

Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @scatterbrainedgenius, @jordyns-library, @wildfirecracker

Word Count: 2557

Warnings: mental illness (depression and anxiety), brief mention of deceased loved one, insecurity, lots of awkwardness, awkward “flirting” (??), Peter being a cutie pie as always

Peter helped you gather your things and waited patiently as you gave a bright thank you to the owner, Morgana. Then, he was holding the door open to you with a bright smile.

“So,” you prompted as you both started towards the subway.

“So,” he echoed, sending you a playful grin.

“We talked so much about me,” you pointed out, “so why don’t you tell me more about you? If I may be so bold, I’d like to become actual friends with you, instead of just minor acquaintances.”

Peter turned to face you, walking sideways, and was beaming so bright you thought you’d need sunglasses. “Really??? I feel the same way!”

You blushed slightly, looking at the ground for a brief moment. “I’m glad,” you admitted in a murmur.

Soon, the two of you were entering the subway, intent on getting back to Queens before the amount of people traveling got worse.

“So,” Peter began, letting you take a seat as he stood in front of you in the rather crowded car, “I’m trying to think of what medium to capture you in.”

You blinked in surprise.

“I mean, there is a raw beauty to just charcoal or regular pencil, but you are so vibrant and gorgeous, I want to do something more.”

Peter was staring out the window in thought as the heat filled your cheeks, neck, and chest. You bit your lip to try and stop the squeal or giggle of happiness from leaking out (you couldn’t tell what it would be, so you kept your mouth shut). You found yourself looking up at Peter, noticing how he himself would make a great model for any type of art.

Brown eyes suddenly looked at yours and you were thankful that the subway was coming to the next stop. It gave you an excuse to look away, his curious gaze making you feel tingles up your spine. As a tired mother entered with two small children in tow, you and another passenger quickly got up and let them take your seats.

Now, you were standing almost chest to chest with Peter Parker. You awkwardly tried to shuffle around him, so that you were standing next to him, but another passenger quickly took that spot. That left you right there, closer to Peter than you thought you’d ever get.

“Hi,” he blushed down at you.

“H-hello,” you stuttered. “So, you were saying?”

Your weak attempt at saving face actually worked, and Peter began to talk you through the pros and cons of other mediums of art. You found yourself to be incredibly intrigued by the way that Peter spoke.

He spoke so passionately that you could basically see the different aspects of each medium before your eyes. You could see brushes of acrylic paint, or the subtle blurring of watercolors, as he went into greater detail than you almost thought possible.

“Of course, photography will always hold a place in my heart, but sometimes you can’t capture the same emotions as you could with actually making the art yourself. The best part of photography, though, is when you—”

Peter was cut off as the subway car jerked and you fell into him in shock. You had never been particularly graceful, but at least this time it wasn’t your fault. You expected to knock him over; he was a fit man, but you knew you had some heft to you, especially with that violent of a jerk. Something like that would make you, or really anyone, knock over even the largest of men, you were certain of it.

To your surprise, Peter caught you easily, not even moving his feet as he was clutching you to his body. His hand was like comforting and warm candle fire on your waist, slowly heating your muscles. Beautiful brown eyes regarded you with concern.

“Are you okay, Y/N? That was quite the jerk. They’re normally not that bad.”

You nodded sheepishly, removing your hand from where it was splayed on his firm chest. You cleared your throat and took a slight step back, nearly regretting it as the warmth seeped out of your waist slowly.

“Thanks, Peter,” you smiled, albeit a little nervously. “I definitely would have fallen over if you weren’t there.”

"Well,” Peter began, smirking at you, “I can tell you that I’ll be here to catch you, anytime you need it.”

You giggled, covering your smile with your hand. “Then I hope you’re around a lot, because I’m the clumsiest person around,” you told him, realizing as soon as it left your mouth that it was incredibly flirty, at least for you.

Peter was looking at you with a look you couldn’t decipher, but his mouth was grinning. “Hey, I won’t complain about that.”

The heat rushed through your body and you looked at the floor, trying to calm your stampeding heart. Your throat felt a little dry, not expecting his response. You looked up and saw a skinny little thing staring at you with contempt, and your heart crashed to the ground.

Your brain quickly clouded over with negative thoughts. Of course, she’s staring, you’d never fit in with a guy like Peter. Look at him, he’s gorgeous and fit. And you are definitely not. She thinks you’re crazy for flirting with him. And you are crazy for flirting with him. He’d never go for a girl like you, you’re not his type.

Now wait just a minute, you interrupted the hissing whisper, how do I know what his type is? You can’t just assume someone’s type, you know.

Doesn’t matter, the hiss replied easily, anything as big and jiggly as you are is never anyone’s type. You should know that by now.

You ended up heaving a sigh, the hissing getting louder and louder in your head. It was blocking out every positive thought you’d ever had about yourself, pointing out the jiggle in your thighs, the fat of your stomach, the stretch marks that decorated your skin. It pointed out how your laugh was too loud, your smile too big, your fingers too fat, your cheeks unnecessarily full. The clouds became a storm, torrential rains freezing your body, turning your blood into the slowest river in the world.

“Hey,” a shining light of a voice broke through the storm, making you look up at Peter. “Are you okay?” he asked, his hand brushing your arm.

The tingles that his touch brought started to drop-kick the clouds from the forefront of your mind. Peter was looking at you in a way you couldn’t quite tell, but it was like he could tell you were upset about yourself, like he would tear the world to pieces to make you feel better. It made your heart crack, fighting to escape your chest and screech to the world that you were beautiful and worthy.

Because that’s how his gaze made you feel.

You suddenly brightened, the clouds on the far horizons of your mind as they always were, but they were done storming and flooding. “Yeah, Peter, I’m alright,” you told him sincerely, a small but genuine smile on your lips.

Peter’s molten brown eyes assessed you critically, making your body warm and thaw from that freezing storm. After a few more moments, and the subway car nearing your stop, Peter seemed content with your answer. He gave you the sweetest smile you’d ever seen.

The car came to a stop and Peter gestured for you to get off the car. As you fought the crowd of people entering, Peter hooked his pinky in yours in order to stay together. It made your stupid heart flutter up to your throat, but you managed to swallow it back down.

The two of you broke through the crowds and Peter unhooked his pinky from yours. The loud pounding of your heart began to quiet as you and Peter made your way out of the subway; the “fresh” air of the outside (as fresh as it could get, of course) helped clear your mind a bit and you relaxed ever so slightly.

Peter started leading the way to his apartment, which was in the same direction as yours. “The place is kinda a mess,” he informed you as you walked next to him, “but it’s not too bad. Mostly just a couple of unfinished works running around.”

“Hey, I don’t mind,” you told him, stepping farther into the sidewalk as a crowd of people walking the opposite direction tried to take over the small space.

“I grew up in Queens,” Peter stated, and when you looked at him, he was scowling slightly, “but lately, all these crowds have been even more rude than usual.”

You chuckled lightly and shrugged your shoulders. “You grew up in Queens, huh? So, you were here when Spider-Man became a thing, yeah?”

If you didn’t know any better, Peter’s shoulders tensed as he waited for the streetlight to change. Then, an almost nervous chuckle flitted over to your ears.

“Yeah, I remember. I saw him swinging around in that cheap ass suit one day after school. How embarrassing for him.” Peter’s ears turned a light pink color.

You hummed in thought slightly, glancing at him as he glanced at you. “I liked that first suit, actually,” you admitted. “I mean, obviously it wasn’t as effective as his following ones, but I’ve always admired homemade creations. It was creative in its design, at least I always thought so from the YouTube videos I’d seen.”

“For real?” Peter asked as you began to cross the street.

“Yeah.”

You were surprised when Peter began to laugh, pulling you into him by your shoulders as you walked. Your heart plummeted as he appeared to laugh at you.

“I’m glad someone liked it!” Peter then said, removing his arm and grinning at you. Your heart slowly began to clamber back up to its new home in your throat. “Especially someone with such good taste as you!”

Your heart raced to your throat like a mountain goat on the hunt for the sweetest grass at the top of the mountain. With your heart came a rush of blood and warmth.

God, you really needed to get it together. You didn’t know how you were supposed to survive around such a sweet man, with such a bright personality.

Eventually, you and Peter made it to his apartment building, which was closer to the subway than your own. He kept you entertained for the short walk, regaling amusing stories from high school and college. You learned of his best friend and now roommate, Ned Leeds, rather early on in the conversation. And you learned that he absolutely adored his Aunt May.

Peter opened the door for you, and you thanked him with a dramatic bow of your upper body, your nerves tingling happily as he laughed and copied your gesture. He introduced you to the doorman (making you realize that this was a really nice building) before pressing the button to call the elevator.

“Geez, this is a nice building,” you remarked as you stepped into the elevator. “The elevator in my building has been out for like three months.”

Peter chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah, well, I haven’t told you about my full-time job yet.”

“I didn’t know a building this nice existed in Queens,” you muttered to yourself, though you were exaggerating just a little.

“I work for Stark Industries,” Peter stated, making your head snap over to him. “I-I started an internship when I was in high school,” he explained nervously, shuffling his feet. “And through college, I worked there too. And now I have a full job with Mrs. Potts-Stark.”

You tilted your head in thought, thoroughly impressed. “Wow, I knew you were smart, but damn, you’re a full-blown genius!”

Peter’s blush crept up the back of his neck and he shifted again, obviously sheepish. He muttered out a shy, “Thanks,” along with a sweet smile. “The great thing about my job, is that it actually leaves a lot of time for my creative endeavors. Mrs. Potts-Stark makes sure of it, actually; she’s very big on preventing burnout.”

“Stark Industries, man, they’re prestigious! I’ve always admired Mrs. Potts-Stark,” you continued as the elevator opened and you both walked out. “She’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever read about. She’s so strong, too. And not to mention Tony Stark. I always knew that he wasn’t as selfish as the media made him out to be; I once did research on Howard Stark, and honestly, Tony Stark, before and after developing weapons, makes so much psychological sense. Some people only point out his faults, like his ego or oversight. They say this like it makes him a bad man. I say that he was a great man, with his faults.”

Peter was staring at you, his jaw slightly agape, and there seemed to be tears in his eyes. Concerned, you stepped forward and tilted your head to look into his eyes.

“Peter? Are you okay?” you asked gently.

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered, closing his jaw. Slowly, a smile made its way to his cheeks. “I, um, I was very close with, with Mr. Stark. Sometimes, it’s hard to hear people talk about him like he was this perfect human, or like he was the worst man ever. But, just, hearing you talk about him like that? It means a lot. Y/N, it—it makes me so happy.”

Your hand twitched as you ached to wipe the happy tear from his cheek. You kept it down, instead pulling out a handkerchief and giving it to him. Peter took it from you and glanced between it and you before chuckling wetly.

“You owning a handkerchief is so on-brand,” he chuckled as he wiped his tears quickly. Quite unfairly, it almost looked like he’d never been crying at all.

You chuckled nervously and shifted your weight back and forth. “Sometimes, it makes life a lot easier.” As he tried to hand it back to you, you held up your hands and waved them a bit for added emphasis. “No, no, it’s okay. You keep it. I have… I have more at home,” you ended in a shy whisper, almost not wanting to say it aloud at all because you’d been made fun of before.

“How many?” Peter asked, no trace of malice in his voice. “Enough to be a proper damsel in distress?” This time, he grinned at you before turning to get to his apartment.

“I’m not a damsel,” you scoffed playfully. “Nor am I proper. I’m in distress at lot, but it’s mostly internal,” you chuckled. You waited behind Peter as he unlocked his apartment door (it was painted a dark red, and you quite liked it).

“I’ll have to introduce you to Pepper sometime,” Peter said as he let you inside. “I think you’d both get along really well.”

It was then that it really sunk in for you. You were about to go into the apartment of a man that you met just a few hours ago. While you were fairly certain Peter wasn’t a serial killer, you were worried about what this evening would bring. With your awkwardness, you thought it to be quite possible that the sweet and passionate Peter would kick you out.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x plus size reader #peter parker x insecure!reader #artist!peter parker #spider-man x reader #spider-man x plus size reader #reader insert #slow burn fic #commission for confidence

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magicalsalamander · 5 years

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u always have such long in depth stories that are so well written. i've always wondered how you keep yourself motivated to write them and if you follow a schedule and if u have any tips to give to writers too

Thank you! I appreciate it!

An odd feeling fills my chest reading this because I don’t believe I’m in a position to be giving anyone advice. However, peer to peer, human to human, I’m more than happy to spare all the knowledge I got to you!

So, let’s break it down!

Let’s tackle the ever-pressing question: How to stay motivated and meth~od~ology. Again, this is just my input and methodology, so know this may not work for you or everyone, but maybe you can take bits and pieces of it and tailor it to yourself and find a better way to approach writing. Which is what I want you to do. My way of doing things is because...it works for me.

In regard to the product, I write long-winded stories because that’s how my mind works. Every author’s style is a “physical” manifestation of the way they process and emit information verbal, written, or symbolically. A writer’s style will match the author, so no style is wrong.

Sidestepping for a moment, but I’ll tie it in I promise. When I was younger I was painfully (I mean awkwardly painful that made others uncomfortable) shy. I even formed a stutter because I was terrified of speaking. Now, luckily, I can say that I have no issue with that and I’m totally fine public speaking or speaking intimately. I found my confidence by reading to pick up new vocab and mimicking people around me who were better speakers. I think by doing so I really formed the way I carry myself and write (i.e. going back to the point that a written is a manifestation of their personality). You can notice if you really look at a piece you can tell the state of mind a writer usually was in when they wrote this.

How does this tie into advice? Well, my “advice” is if you want to become a “better writer” work on yourself. Your perspective on life is unique. Mold your thoughts, ask yourself those questions that are hard, ask others questions, figure out different perspectives while you’re at it. This may be looking at things too seriously, but I want to give you a genuine answer. You know how politics can be divisionary? It’s usually them vs us? Well, both sides have their own reasons and to them, those are good reasons. Maybe not to you, but try understanding the opposite side, really look at their motives. You’ll be able to write antagonist better that way, and in turn, write a more solid protagonist.

So to bring it back, I write long stories because I found out I can’t do short fics (which I consider to be under anything basically under 5k) because it’s not how I process/imagine things. I’m huge on imagery, maybe because I’m also a traditional artist (drawing & painting) so I see the world with colors, shapes and relate those to emotions. I feel so unsatisfied if I write something that lacks a short background or gives the character a reason for something. I’m aware it’s possible to write short fics, because it’s the reader’s decision to interpret, but it’s not me. Know regardless of the way you write something the reader will have their own story.

This leads to my second point. I want you to answer these questions for yourself: why are you writing, who are you writing for, what are you writing about, when can you, where do you write? Simple questions, but they need solid answers. The simple things in life often need more attention than those that seem complex.

My answers to a few: I write for myself and no one else. I hope that this should be true all across the board. I find the biggest issue for writers on this platform (and maybe across other writing sites) is that individuals use it as a platform for validation. It’s not easy this day and age to go to a social media site and not be bombarded by likes, following, or any other feedback system that promotes that. However, I could care less if a post I put out has two, a hundred likes or a thousand.

Why you may ask?

Well, simply because—it doesn’t matter. This is for a number of reasons. A few of them are because people do click on the post but most often don’t leave a note or give feedback. This, I found to be true because people either forget, don’t bother to, or are too shy. This doesn’t mean that it wasn’t enjoyed, you have no idea the impact your post could’ve made, that could’ve been the best post they’ve read. I want you to keep in mind that you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Keep yourself in check with this. Also, remember, people will come to your story, sometimes it’s not the right time for them. Maybe the message in that fic, whether it be neutral or purposeful, will come to someone when they most need it. The time you post may just not be that time. So, don’t feel discouraged if you’re not getting notes.

You want long term building, not short term.

Motivation:

Motivation is such a fickle little minx, right? I want to address that usually the lack of motivation is because of many reasons, but typically its stress, anxiety, insecurity, and procrastination. Procrastination, the biggest factor in my opinion, under a psychological definition, is an irrational delay. It’s been linked to the activity under avoidance being the cause of stress and anxiety. When your feeling too overwhelmed you probably don’t want to write, right? It takes too much thought and energy. So when your feeling like this I advise you to either rethink why you write if it does increase your anxiety. Or distract yourself until you feel that you can come back with a fresh mind. There is no “deadline”. No timeline.

On the contrary, though, it’s a good method to keep yourself accountable, so if you can accomplish something with a bit of pressure then set a deadline. It’s how I was able to complete Gold Embers Touch the Blue Veil. I was so unmotivated recently. I always came home tired and nothing creative would come to me. But I said, “Nope, we’re doing this.” Because I knew if I just wrote something (i.e. drafted to draft) then I would feel better later because I gave myself a foundation. With that foundation and when I’m feeling frivolous with my words, I can now accomplish so much more because I have something to work with.

I don’t have a schedule. I write based on when the ideas come to me. How can I fit writing into my existing schedule? I always write a storyboard, then I tackle it from there, so start to finish always varies. Often my stories can take weeks if not a month or two to write. I take a few days break sometimes so that way I’m not hypercritical of everything I’ve written. I never rush to put out something for the sake of putting it out there. Rushing never usually gives good results.

There is no bad idea either. Don’t go into a story you’re about to write already knocking it down. Remember, write for yourself, I swear to you, if you enjoy what your writing someone else will too. You think J.K Rowling wrote HP thinking, “Ahhh, I need to change all this because my mind is telling me someone may not like this.” Hell no. She wrote her story the way she saw it and it’s amazing because it’s her.

Methodology:

Write a storyboard. Will you for sure remember the thing you told yourself to remember in the morning? Did you forget to write down that appointment? Did you remember that you have that assignment due if you didn’t write it down? The majority will say they don’t. That’s why I’m a huge believer in having a “story board”. What that means to me personally is mapping out how you want the story to go. I personally can’t use the write-and-go method. I need structure so I can reference back and tweak it later. So, I recommend opening up a doc or whatever you have to use and follow this set up. It’s concise, keeps things neat and easy to follow. It’s basically a flow chart but a bit more professional. I’m sure you can find other templates, but this is mine.

Write about something you want, not something you think would get notes. Write it because you see that niche isn’t being filled, or if you want to add to that genre. As an example, there are a million and one coffee shop AU's, but what can you add?

Other things to keep in mind is the hero’s journey doesn’t have to be linear, Try to teach, teach the readers and yourself something. That way you keep something fresh for yourself. Grow each time you finish something. Whether you know it or not, you grow a little bit each time. Your opinions will change and grow, so take it all in stride.

With all that knowledge you’ll become a better writer because you’ll be able to see a wider breadth of ideas and put in details that don’t always seem obvious and develop your own style.

I’m sorry that this post was long and that I got preachy. But from my writing style, I guess you could already have predicted I would’ve done this, huh? Haha. I hope this was helpful!! Feel free to send me an ask if you have any more questions.

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