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#i know i wrote a lot
wanderingmind867 · 3 months
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I read the first, I don't know, 30 or 40 Thor comics once. Probably a few years ago during my last comics hyperfixation. What I do remember from it is that the original Thor comics gave Thor an alter ego in the form of Dr. Don Blake. And for whatever reason, I kind of like that.
I also think the origin itself is fascinating. Dr. Don Blake is a probably 20 to 30 year old doctor with a limp leg (although he could be in his 40s, I wouldn't remember if they gave him an age) who travels to Norway on vacation. While in Norway, he stumbles upon a cave with a walking stick and realizes he can transform into Thor using this walking stick (really a transformed version of the hammer Mjolnir). And I think it's a shame nobody ever goes back to Dr. Blake. Because think about that origin. When I do, it see only two possibilities, both ripe with interesting story possibilities.
Option 1: Dr. Blake is an ordinary human who just happened to find Thor's hammer in its secret hiding place. This would be interesting because it would mean Thor is kind of possessing Doctor Blake's body whenever they transform. It reminds me of the Kane Chronicles, and how humans could channel the spirit of a god and share a body and mind with them. This option really reminds me of that.
Option 2: Equally as interesting is option 2, the option I think they went with. In option 2, Thor is exiled from Asgard. Odin erases his memories and puts him on earth under a new name and identity. Namely, the identity of doctor don blake. For this option, I am assuming Odin would have given Doctor Blake original memories (because I highly doubt Odin would put turn Thor into a baby and wait around for 20-30 years to bring him back to Asgard). But if he didn't turn Thor into an actual baby, that means he probably gave Don Blake (this 20 or 30 year old doctor) a set of fake memories. Think about that. Don Blake presumably had memories of a childhood never lived, of a family that never was, of a life that never truly was. When Don Blake learned he was just created to serve as a vessel for Thor, that must have really hurt. I bet an existential crisis occurred that day.
Considering Don Blake had an established medical practice and probably had his own set of memories distinct from that of Thor, I imagine Don Blake and Thor really were like two seperate people sharing one body. I imagine them as two distinct people, at any rate. And it's a shame nobody has done anything with Don Blake or this whole sharing a body concept since the 70s or 80s (it feels like). There's so much potential here, if only people had stopped to realize it.
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gyldowen-draws · 2 years
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What's this? A Rhys playlist? On MY blog? It's more likely than you think!
Music has always been a huge inspiration for my writing and my art, so I wanted to share some of the songs that match Rhys' Vibe™️
I would absolutely love any recommendations for songs that would fit my dearest bastard! Please, please, please send them my way ^.^
Analysis under the cut!
(Just a note: I make a lot of references to Rhys' backstory so if you'd like some context, it's in his ref sheet!)
Fake Your Death: First of all, this is a 10/10 great song all by itself. From the driving drums and piano to the melancholy yet determined delivery of the excellent lyrics, it perfectly captures Rhys' life, always having to move from job to job and literally having to fake his death a couple of times. Some lines that really stick out are, "But even good guys still get paid", "I choose defeat/ I walk away/ and leave this place the same today" and "Just look at all that pain" but honestly every line could accurately describe Rhys and his feelings. If I had to chose one song to represent my boy Rhys, this would be it. Thank you Mr. Way for my life.
Dance on a Volcano: This amazing and energetic song is just a perfect metaphor for Rhys' entire life: in a dangerous situation all alone, not knowing exactly what to do, not able to look back, having to keep moving forward no matter what, the need to get it right. Plus the flame/lava imagery is just perfect for my fire mage. The line "Out of the night and out of the dark/ Into the fire and into the fight/ Well that's where all the heroes go" is just *chef's kiss* perfection. Additionally the line "Whatever you do/ you'd better start doing it right" was the inspiration for the title of my fic series about Rhys and Yor!
This is Gospel: Another great song that captures more of Rhys' internal drive for freedom and fear of vulnerability. And the song's inversion of religious gospel connects to Rhys' background growing up in the Cult of Miriar. To top it all off, he's definitely an "insufferable bastard", so this song's for him!
Dukes Up: This song perfectly encapsulates how Rhys' solution to every problem is violence. Plus it has a rawness to it that fits Rhys perfectly. Short, gritty, and full of raw anger. Just like Rhys!
Training Montage: To me, this song fits Rhys' time in the prison camp and when he decided to give up his life as a con man to become a full-time mercenary instead. The absolute determination in this song is amazingly accurate to how he puts his mind to things. Also the chorus is an incredible representation of his motivations in life. He wants to live in a way that goes entirely against what he was taught in the Cult, a revenge for his childhood. His main goal is to stay true to himself, but he's still figuring out who he is. He feels incredible guilt for killing some of his fellow Vessels and leaving them all behind in the Cult. Most of all, everything he does is for his younger self.
Thus Always to Tyrants: A great Rhys and Yor song! I love how it comes out strong with the lines "Let me die, let me drown/ Leave my bones in the ground", a very Rhys thing. It also does a wonderful job of contrasting the demands at the beginning with the questions at the end of the song, representing these two head-strong men coming together and trying to work out a relationship when neither really knows what they're doing. Also, the line "learn to love without consuming" is just so perfect for their relationship.
Like Real People Do: Absolutely gorgeous song! This is THE Rhys and Yor song. Everything about this song is perfectly accurate. From the understanding that they are both deeply haunted by their pasts to the respect that comes with not wanting to dredge up what is better kept hidden, the lyrics embody Yor's perspective on his budding relationship with the cagey Rhys. The idea that they can both put aside their hurts to find their humanity together through their love is so poignant and beautiful!
Wolves of the Revolution: This song represents a young Rhys, who - freshly escaped from the Cult of Miriar - discovers that the world outside his village is nearly as dangerous and unjust as the hell he just came from. The lines that really stick out are "There was blood in the air/ I was on all fours/ screaming life isn't fair", "born young and wild/ don't let them cut your tail" and "Just a pinch of salt in the wound/ you'll be fine". The soft, melancholy air of the entire song fits the struggles young Rhys faced as he navigated his new freedom all alone.
All These Things That I've Done: It's no secret, Rhys is an absolute bastard who has done plenty of questionable things over the course of his long life, but he still desires validation and understanding like any other person. The almost plaintive yet determined quality to the delivery of the lyrics fits Rhys in this context perfectly. With lines like "I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand", "I'm so much older than I can take", "These changes ain't changing me/ the cold-hearted boy I used to be", and "You know, you know - no you don't, you don't", this song provides a great window into Rhys' psyche. Can he find acceptance in himself and others for all the things he's done?
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adriles · 6 months
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
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drowninginthoughts27 · 7 months
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Fanfiction is NOT books
I find it so fucking frustrating when people refuse to read fics because it's uncompleted. Like part of the fun of reading fanfiction is growing with the author, getting the joy of spontaneous updates, interacting with the author in real time. Sharing the joy of the writing process; being just as exited for the author to update as the author is to update it. A fic being uncompleted doesn't diminish the quality of the writing. Just because it's uncompleted doesn't make it any less enjoyable. Even if it isn't ever going to be finished you can still enjoy what there is of the story, there's a reason it's been left up after all. The beauty of the writing alone should be enough to enjoy it.
I fully understand wanting to binge a fic. Binge watching/ reading etc. has become such a normalized thing with the creation of streaming services such as Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime. As well as having so many marvelous pieces of literature at our fingertips in a matter of minutes. Some of you all need to understand the meaning of a good cliff hanger. Having to wait and think about what's going to happen next, predicting any possible outcomes, and the brain rot that comes from that omg. (I don't mean to sound like 'back in my day' or anything, believe me I'm really not that old but still...)
Similarly, because fanfiction isn't books please, for the love of god, STOP HOLDING IT UP TO THOSE STANDARDS!!! No, the spelling and grammar isn't going to be perfect. No, it isn't gonna be free of plot holes. But the ENTIRE point of fanfiction is to just vibe. Maybe provide comfort to yourself and maybe others with your writing. To simply play around with these fictional characters that we all love so dearly. You're holding these average people [fanfiction writers] up to unnecessarily high standards.
And you wonder why so many people are leaving fandoms (especially the marauders, thats where I've seen this happen the worst by far).
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sykloni · 11 months
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Dannymay 2023
15. Full Hazmat AU & 23. Rogue Gallery
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ruporas · 1 year
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i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a#lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece#of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't#just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood#was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know#otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo#where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before#but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash#98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle#whenever ww complimented his smile though#and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the  chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other#with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt#more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances#mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash#saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2....#ruporas art
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bleedingoptimism · 5 months
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It’s a little after eleven when Eddie finally manages to get Tarja to bed. It’s hard for her without her plushie. And really, Eddie is very thankful having a hyper-fixation with her toy seems to be the only ‘consequence’ of having divorced parents Tarja seems to have right now. He always worries if having two homes and constantly moving between them is good for her or not. Especially with Tommy being Tarja’s other dad, but against all odds, he’s good to her. So their kid is doing just fine. She’s happy. And if she’s happy, Eddie is happy.
He���s getting ready to open a beer and relax when there’s a knock on the door. He smiles, assuming is Steve bringing Toothless over and almost knocks his beer to the floor when he opens the door.
Steve looks… well he looks amazing, dressed to the nines. Must’ve been date night. But his eyes are red and puffy, his face covered in dark blotches, and his lips are swollen like he’s been biting them too much.
He’s hugging Toothless to his chest and he smiles at Eddie when he sees him, but he looks so sad it breaks his heart.
Eddie throws the beer behind him, sure it will land on the couch and cradles Steve’s face between his hands, “What did that asshole do?
Steve leans into his touch and shuts his eyes for a moment before sighing and stepping away from him, walking inside and sitting on the couch still holding Toothless like a lifeline. 
“Nothing, he was just-” Steve shakes his head and chuckles darkly, “He’s just so mean,” 
Eddie drops to his knees in front of him and dips his head to look Steve in the eye just like he did that day in the park.
“Break up with him,” he says.
“I can’t.”
“Tommy doesn't deserve you, Steve. You are worth so much more than what that asshole makes you feel. You deserve better. More. Everything,” Eddie pleads, placing his hands on Steve’s knees and squeezing, “If it’s because of Tarja, we’ll figure something out, ok? Lots of people keep in contact with their parent’s significant other after they break up” He rushes, the speech he didn't have quite prepared last week coming out of him in a single breath, “We are friends, right? So you can still visit and see her. Visit me. You don’t have to stop being a part of our lives.” 
Steve is staring at him right now like Eddie just gifted him the moon and he’s so beautiful it’s kind of hard for Eddie to keep eye contact, but he squeezes Steve’s knees again to ground himself and does. Steve needs to know he’s very serious about this. About him.
Eyes shining, Steve takes a deep breath and nods slowly, a tear falling down his cheek that Eddie follows with his eyes and watches until it hides under Steve’s v-neck shirt.
“Hey, even I didn’t put up with Tommy's shit for Tarja’s sake and I birthed her,” he jokes awkwardly, trying to make him laugh and feels like doing a little victory dance when Steve snorts cutely,
“Okay,” he hiccups.
“Yeah?” Eddie smiles back at him, relieved.
“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “Fuck Tommy.” And drops back on the couch, looking exhausted, “Can I stay here tonight?” he asks in a whisper, like he’s afraid Eddie will say no. As if.
“Yeah, of course,” Is what he answers, and has half a mind to invite him into his bed but knows it’s a terrible idea. So he lends Steve his favorite flannel pajamas and sets blankets and a pillow on the couch and they say their goodnights.
And if he does a little dance when he closes the door to his room, no one is there to see.
In the morning, Steve stays for breakfast. And attempts to kill Eddie by making his heart explode, cooking it himself from scratch with Tarja’s help, who is so happy she won’t stop running around the kitchen making Toothless fly and sing about ‘happy family breakfast time’.
It’s actually hard to tell if she’s happier to have her plushie back or that Steve is there. Eddie, on the other hand, knows exactly what he’s happiest about. Death by tenderness. Is that a thing? He amuses himself thinking about a couple csi’s with sunglasses saying it, 
“He died because he witnessed something too cute,”
“Ah yes, death by fondness. I’ve seen it before.”
After, Eddie walks him to the door and Steve smiles sweetly at him, and holds his hand, squeezing it once before letting go, “Well, see you. I guess,” he says bashfully and there’s a moment there, a second where time stops and Eddie thinks he should kiss him. Wants to kiss him, needs to kiss him.
But he doesn’t. Because Steve is still dating Tommy, and just because he said he was going to break up with him doesn’t mean he wants to start something new with Eddie.
Eddie himself called him his friend for the first time last night for christ sake. ‘Fucking chill’ he thinks to himself.
🧸
And then a week goes by without hearing a word from Steve. But Eddie doesn't hold it against him.
At first, he figures he needs time to think but then he starts to wonder if he really is going to break up with Tommy. Four days in, he gets paranoid about it. Maybe Steve got brainwashed into thinking Eddie is bad for him. Maybe Tommy told him Eddie was putting ideas in his head, that he shouldn’t talk to him anymore… With him telling Steve to break up with his boyfriend and all... 
He’s well aware of how manipulative Tommy can be and has seen the way he belittles Steve to keep him around, so he knows it’ll be hard for Steve to actually go through with it.
And he can’t exactly show up at Tommy’s and steal Steve away, no matter how appealing the idea might be. The only thing he can do is just think of Steve, wish him well, and send him strength to do what he needs to do. At the end of the day, it needs to be his decision. His choice.
As Tommy’s week with Tarja approaches he starts getting more and more anxious, wondering if it’ll be Steve or Tommy who picks her up.
When the day finally arrives, and the doorbell rings, Tarja runs to open the door and Eddie peeks his head through the hallway.
“Daddy!” Tarja screams.
“Hey, Tata! You ready?” Tommy says and Eddie steps into the hall to greet him too.
“Not yet!” Tarja chuckles and Tommy smiles at her,
“Okay, go get ready. I’ll wait here,”
Eddie walks to the door and leans on the doorframe, “Hey,”
“Hi. Long time no see,” Tommy says and then adds, “You look great,”
“You don’t,” Eddie answers, because it’s true. He looks like shit. Greasy hair, bags under his eyes, chapped lips, wrinkles on his clothes, “What happened?”
“Steve broke up with me.” 
Eddie’s eyes go wide and he smiles, he doesn’t even try to hide it, “He did?”
“Don’t smile, fucker,” Tommy says but there’s no heat behind it. He knows he deserves it.
“Sorry,” Eddie says, not sorry at all.
“Stop,” Tommy whines because Eddie’s smile is actually getting bigger,
“Sorry,” he repeats and then clears his throat, “Did he tell you why?”
“Because I’m a horrible person,” Tommy groans.
“Hey, the first step is to ad-”
“To admit it, yeah, yeah. I know” Tommy interrupts him, groaning again.
Eddie sighs, and punches Tommy’s shoulder lightly, “Look, Tommy, I’m just going to say this because, well… you are pathetic. You need to do better.” And then he points to his back, to where Tarja’s disappeared to get her stuff, “She’s going to grow up and realize you are an awful person and she’s not going to want you in her life. And I’m not going to dissuade her from it, because I already don’t want you to be in mine, you know that, right?”
Tommy looks at him seriously and then nods once, fast and hard. Like he gets it. Like he agrees and is determined to change. And Eddie hopes for Tarja’s sake he is. But knows, deep in his heart, that either way, she’s going to be fine.
“Also, just a heads up. I’m in love with Steve and I’m going to ask him out,” he adds in a rush when he hears Tarja running up behind him.
“You are shitting me,” Tommy whispers, shocked and clenching his teeth.
Eddie laughs, “Nope,” he says, closing his lips loudly around the P.
“Eddie,” Tommy warns him like he’s waiting for Eddie to say he's joking.
“What? I hear he’s single,” Eddie smirks.
“You motherfuc- Hey Tata!” Gathering Tarja in his arms, Tommy drops the subject but he glares at Eddie as he kisses Tarja’s cheek goodbye and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ as he’s leaving. Eddie closes the door and starts laughing at the look on Tommy’s face.
He needs to call Steve.
He tries a couple of times but he doesn’t pick up and he starts worrying Steve might not actually want to talk to him, and then there’s a knock on the door but Eddie, too preoccupied with his anxiety, opens without looking, thinking Tarja forgot something.
When he doesn't hear her, Eddie looks up from his ‘ignored calls’ screen to see nonother than Steve standing there, looking nervous and like a fucking dream with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. A fucking bouquet of flowers. For him. For Eddie. All different shades of red, because he knows is his favorite color.
Eddie just blinks at him a couple of times and Steve flushes even more and drops the hand holding up the flowers, scratches the back of his neck nervously, “This was stupid, the flowers were fucking stupid. They are stupid. I’m stupid, right?”
A laugh bubbles out of Eddie and he grabs him by the scruff of his shirt and pulls him inside. He closes the door once they are both in and slams Steve against it, crushing their lips together. Steve circles his arms around Eddie and holds him close, instantly returning the kiss with fervor. 
They kiss as if it were fate. They kiss until it's hard to breathe and Eddie pulls away only to kiss him again, and again, and again.
“Not stupid,” he murmurs between kisses and feels Steve’s smile against his lips.
Eventually, Eddie takes a step back and lets Steve into his home properly, “Hi,” he says cheesily.
“Hi,” Steve says back grinning, then he lifts up the bouquet again, which is now completely ruined by him still holding it strongly while they made out like crazy, and his smile drops,
“Shit,” he pouts cutely, god Eddie wants to eat him. He laughs and takes the flowers anyway, putting them in an empty glass bottle, because he doesn’t own a flower vase, because he’s a normal human being. ‘Who the fuck owns a flower vase?’
“Come here,” he says, holding out both hands for Steve to take and follow him.
Steve takes his hands but doesn't move, instead swings them from side to side, “Wait, let's talk,”
Fuck, yeah. They should. That’s a good idea. Fuck. Damn, Steven Whatever-The-Fuck-Is-His-Middle-Name Harrington and his sensible and very logical choice…
Eddie huffs exaggeratedly making Steve chuckle and redirects them to the couch, where they sit still holding hands, “Alas,” he says dramatically, “You are right, we should talk. I actually wanted to ask you out properly, not debauch you the second you walked through the door. Sorry about that” he lies, not sorry at all, again.
Steve blushes and smiles, drawing little circles with his thumbs on Eddie’s hands, “Yeah me too. I wanna do this right. Ask you out. Go on dates. I think we should take this slow,”
Eddie makes a face and groans at that. He doesn't want to take it slow. He wants Steve to move in right now or something. Steve rolls his eyes amused at his interruption and keeps going,
“I came here to ask you out the right way because I want you to know I’m committed. But we should think about how this will affect Tarja… and Tommy too. We should go out a few times, spend some time alone, and I want you to meet my friends and my parents and I want to meet your friends and your uncle too and just do this properly and-”
Eddie interrupts him with a kiss, he can’t take it anymore, he’s been dying to kiss Steve for months now and he’s so sweet and thoughtful it makes Eddie insane, makes him feel like he needs to ruin him, but in a nice way, like with devotion and love.
Steve lets go of his hands to wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist and hoists him until he’s straddling Steve. Eddie leans his elbows on Steve’s shoulders, and buries his hands in his hair, pulling and messing with it.
“Okay but have you considered having hard, hot, wet sex, and then maybe we do what you said?” He asks panting against Steve’s lips and actually feeling how that punches the air out of him.
He hugs Eddie closer to his chest and whines, “Yeah okay, we can do it your way,” and gets up, lifting Eddie with him as if he were weightless. Eddie squawks and laughs all the way to his room.
🧸
They spend the week together, talking, eating, drinking, laughing and fucking. Except it’s more than that because when Eddie is inside Steve, with his tongue, his fingers, or his strap, it feels like more. It feels like love. Like fate.
Steve, still determined to take things slow, doesn’t stay there all the time, going back to Robin’s where he moved back to after breaking up with Tommy. He actually brings her over one day and the three of them spend the afternoon together. Eddie decides they are going to be best friends immediately because Robin is hilarious and merciless. When Steve gets back the next day he kisses Eddie so good and hard his knees almost give out on him and tells him he has Robin’s seal of approval. Something he knows Tommy never got.
When the week passes Eddie says goodbye theatrically as if they were cross-star lovers in a bad soap opera and Steve chuckles and calls him ridiculous but kisses him so passionately that Eddie drags him right back inside and they say goodbye again a few hours later.
They had decided to wait until Eddie talked to Tarja about her feelings over Tommy’s and Steve’s breakup and whether she still wanted Steve around or not before having him over again.
But when Tarja gets back home she’s gloomy and silent. She hugs Eddie in greeting when she arrives and then spends the rest of the day lying face down on the floor and occasionally sighing loudly, obviously trying to make Eddie ask her what’s wrong.
And really, Eddie shouldn't find it as funny as he does, but he thinks about calling Wayne and telling him he gets it now when Wayne used to tell him he had too much personality.
Eventually, he lies on the floor next to her and asks. Tarja looks at him with big sad eyes and says, “I haven't seen Steve in a million years! And Daddy said he is not his boyfriend anymore! So I’ll never see him again and I miss him”
Eddie coos at her, “I’m sorry you miss him little dragon, but you can totally see him again! Would you like me to call him? Since he’s my friend too?” Already trying to strategize on how to tell her they are more than friends.
Tarja lights up and jumps off the floor and onto Eddie, punching the breath out of him, “Yes! Yes! Call Steve! Steve smiles more when he’s with you than he did with daddy anyway. Why don’t you boyfriend him instead?”
Well… that was easy.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “That’s a great idea sweety, go grab my phone,”
Tarja runs and grabs Eddie’s phone off the table and hands it to him, he doesn’t bother getting off the floor so she kneels beside him listening attentively as he dials Steve’s number. 
“Hi, handsome, you talked with Tarja already?” Steve greets him after it rings twice.
“Yeah about that, turns out Tarja talked to me, actually,” he chuckles, “Hi, by the way”
“Hi,” Steve repeats lovingly and laughs, “What do you mean?”
“She had this awesome idea!” he says winking at her and she covers her mouth with her tiny hands to hide her giggles, “That, since you are not with Tommy anymore, you should be my boyfriend instead,” he continues, voice going soft and chuckles when he hears Steve's breathless ‘oh’ on the other side of the line, “Come over?”
“Of course, gimme an hour? I'm with a client” Steve hums and Eddie whispers he’ll give him anything he asks for and hangs up.
An hour later Tarja is still lying on the floor, only now it’s with papers and crayons spread all around her when the doorbell rings. She looks up at Eddie excitedly and he nods at her, “Go on then”
Tarja runs to the door and opens it wide to reveal Steve standing there as beautiful as ever, giving Eddie a deja vu of the first time he saw him.
“Papa Steve!” Tarja yells and jumps up to hug him.
Steve gasps and falls to his knees with her in his arms and looks up at Eddie with shocked wet eyes.
‘So much for taking it slow,’ Eddie thinks with a smirk.
Fin.
☝️first part
☕🥐💕?
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ryssbelle · 1 month
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I forgot the set up so all yall get is the punchline
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dreadark · 11 days
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
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I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
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sandushengshou · 1 year
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Pushing Daisies | 2x04 “Frescorts”
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siphisket · 11 months
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Get Spr(ule)onkd
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wanderingmind867 · 2 months
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My Interpretation of the Justice League, Pt. 1
Pre-Crisis 1: The Original Justice League: The Justice League of our earth is exactly like the one of the 60s, 70s and 80s comics. You know the roster, but I'll list them again anyways:
The Founders were Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and Aquaman. The JLA was founded back in 1960, but continued operating until the crisis hit in 1985. Although those were the 7 original founders. Other members came later. Members like: Green Arrow, The Atom, Hawkman, Black Canary, Red Tornado, Elongated Man, Hawkgirl, Zatanna and Firestorm.
From 1960 to 1983 this was the roster of the team. More were added as time went by (like Black Canary didn't join until 1970), but our 7 original founders (sans Martian Manhunter) stayed around for all 23 of these years. Originally based out of Happy Harbour, Rhode Island, the Justice League eventually moved to a space based watchtower in the late 60s or early 70s.
But in 1983, everything changed. A team of supervillains get the jump on the Justice League, and manage to destroy their watchtower. Martian Manhunter is the only member of the team who isn't captured by the supervillains (he's been off in space doing his own thing since 1971), so he's the only person who can save the day. The JLA managed to send him a signal right before they were captured, so he knows something's wrong. So he sneaks back to earth and infiltrates the supervillain team, taking them down from the inside.
After this, the rest of the team is saved but deeply humiliated. Ashamed of their actions and feeling stupid because their watchtower was sabotaged to explode without any of them noticing, the Justice League formally disbands. All the heroes choose to go their seperate ways, thinking it's for the good of everyone.
Only one person doesn't quit the team: The Martian Manhunter. He recognizes that earth still needs a team to protect them from threats both mortal and cosmic in nature. So he leaves his family on New Mars behind (leaving his brother ma'alefa'ak in charge of the family and the community), to return to earth and lead a new Justice League.
Pre-Crisis 2: Justice League Detroit: Now that J'onn is the new leader of the team, he moves to Detroit and sets up a private detective service there. From Detroit, J'onn goes looking for new members for his team. He finds them without too much hassle, and the Justice League Detroit is born!
The Justice League Detroit consists of five members: Martian Manhunter, Commander Steel, Gypsy (whose name probably really needs some reworking), Vibe and Vixen. The team is quite dysfunctional at first, since most of the team's members are young and impulsive. But with Martian Manhunter's careful guidance, the team slowly begins to come into their own.
Sadly, the crisis begins around 2 years into this new team's formation. And the earth hits reset just as the team is beginning to come into it's own. Still, Justice League Detroit did get a chance to fight alongside the original Justice League during the Crisis. A beautiful show of teamwork, just before the gods had to hit the cosmic reset button.
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade  tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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baalzebufo · 1 year
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additional doodles of The Silly
i love the idea of fakey being solid Most of the time... until its convenient for it. either it gets goopy when its feeling strong emotions or if its just like ‘oh im being pushed away?? you’re pushing me? well thats incorrect. im slime now. hi :)’
also ive been drawing and writing a lot of freaky/antagonistic interactions with these two so peppi deserved a hug
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Tomarry AU where Harry knows everything but it's not because he is a time traveller, neither because he is a seer —
Pages and words have always been Harry's best friend. Living inside a cupboard did not help with his obsession. Rather, it was due to those pages that he survived. (He was 14 when he got his room instead of a bloody cupboard to sleep in.). The library was the only place Harry was able to hide from Dudley before they were sent to different schools.
When he was fourteen, and hiding from Dudley in the public library (he was mad that his gaming room was given to him.) he ends up reading a book he came to like very much.
It was a book about an orphan boy (like him.) who ends up going to this magic world (oh, how Harry wished) but sadly Tom ended up being hated there as well. Harry was awed by Tom's strength, but also angry (at the world how they let Tom down.) and angry at Tom for destroying himself to destroy what hurt him (or maybe he was angry at himself for not being able to do the same, maybe he was angry that he couldn't save Tom —) Harry was fourteen and it would seem he was angry at a lot of things.
(—that day Harry punched Dudley back after Dudley hit him. He didn't get to eat for a week straight.)
Jealousy is something he never let himself feel, because it wasn't a privilege he was given — not really. But one thing he was jealous of was the fact that Tom got to fly. (Harry wondered some nights — hungry and unable to sleep — what would he do if he got a magic letter? Would he have friends? How nice it would be to get to eat 3 times a day — how nice it would be to just fly away.).
Harry Potter loved Tom Riddle. Harry Potter also loved Lord Voldemort. The boy who died to be born as a monster. The boy who swallowed all the hatred so that he could hate the world in return (oh, how Harry wish he could burn down the world too sometimes — how he wish he could just hate hate hate and not care care care; maybe then he would finally stop trying look for approval in his aunt's eyes). Harry knew when started reading the book Tom was as cruel as he was strong. And he knew as he read the text, there would come a day Tom would burn the world like he was also burned. Even though he didn't agree with Tom's decisions most of the time he knew Tom. So yes, Harry Potter might not agree with Voldemort but he still loved him. And he wished that he could tell him that. Wished he could tell the man who was still a boy that wanted a family so bad that he stayed up for hours at night searching, hungry to find any living family there was, hungry for a belonging that he wasn't even deigned in the magic world. He wished he could tell Voldemort that no matter what he became, Harry would love him.
So imagine his surprise when he wakes up in a moving train — right after going to bed (instead of a cake he got a can of soup) the night he turned sixteen. Imagine how surprised as he sat there, in robes that he doesn't remember he ever owned. Imagine him freaking out that he got kidnapped as the door of his train compartment opened, and in came Tom Riddle.
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firesunflamed · 3 months
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thinking about Frank and mirror sex with an insecure partner
(nsfw, chubby fem!reader, internalized fatphobia?, degradation kink. smut with angst and a little bit of fluff and an attempt at exorcising some personal demons)
maybe he gets the idea when he sees you looking at your naked body in the mirror one day, the way you try to suck in your stomach, smooth out the curves he loves. maybe he even asks about it, and maybe you even admit to it—knowing that you’re not ugly, but you’re not beautiful, not like him. knowing that you get looks when you go out together, and the only way you can make sense of them is that people can’t believe someone who looks like him would be dating someone that looks like you.
and he hates it, because how could you think that, think about yourself like that? they’re looking at his ugly mug, not you. and maybe you smile weakly, try to change the subject, and he lets you then, already thinking about how to fix it.
and then when you have sex later that day he asks to try something different. you end up sitting on the edge of the bed, the floor length mirror moved to reflect your body, your spread legs as he plays with your clit. his face peeks over your shoulder and you’re leaning against his chest, and he’s telling you how beautiful you look, one hand holding the curve of your lower stomach. His thumb strokes the skin there and then he’s moving up to hold your waist, hand spread wide over the folds of fat above and below it. and you know this is a kindness, know he means well, know he’s trying to make you feel better. but it feels fake, feels like a lie, like he’s saying what he’s supposed to say because it’s not true, you aren’t beautiful, you know you’re not, why is he lying to you? And if he’s lying to you about this then, logically, maybe he’s lying to you about wanting you at all. maybe he’s lying about his love. maybe he’s with you because you know who he is and he’s worried about being turned into the police and maybe—
and you’re burying your head in your hands and then it’s “c’mon sweet girl, look at yourself, c’mon— fuck you’re beautiful, look at you- fuck-” and you’re shaking your head because if you open your eyes you will see nothing but every single flaw on your body, and if this is a kindness shouldn’t it feel good? but it doesn’t it doesn’t it doesn’t, and you don’t want it, and he’s asking now, softly, as his fingers move from your clit to push inside you and find your g-spot, asking you to look at how beautiful you are taking him. and there’s pleasure there, but it seems very far away, like it’s happening to someone else because he couldn’t possibly be talking to you. and he keeps asking, keeps praising, keeps using that terrible awful attempted kindness of a lie and you can feel him hard against your back but you know neither of you are going to come like this. you call yellow. he stills, slipping his fingers out of your cunt.
“What is it, sweet girl? what do you need?”
and you keep your head buried in your hands, trying not to cry, and ask if you can do something else. “I know you’re trying to be nice, but Frank, this… this isn’t making me feel better. I don’t feel that way about myself and you just insisting I should isn’t going to make me feel that way.”
It’s a long moment of silence before he says, “I’m gonna move us so we’re facing away from the mirror, yeah?”
“Okay,” you agree.
he moves his legs so they’re no longer on either side of yours before grabbing your waist and laying you down on your sides, facing each other. Your hands fall away from your face, even though your eyes stay closed, and he kissed your forehead, once, gently. “Tell me what you’re thinking about, yeah? don’t like seeing you like this.”
you take a breath, try to put your emotions into words. “I can’t— I can’t be told that you think I’m beautiful like that. It feels like a lie.”
“S’not a lie,” he says, with barely concealed fury. “You’re so fucking gorgeous sometimes I don’t even know how I got you.”
and you shake your head because he’s just making it worse and worse. “I know you think that and it’s very nice of you-" he scoffs at that description but you keep going “but I don’t feel that way. If you’re telling me that then I need it in a…. a different way. A way that doesn’t feel like it’s for me.”
it takes him another second to say, “alright sweet girl. alright.” he presses another kiss to your forehead. “you want something else right now, or do you just want this?” and you don’t want sex anymore, haven’t really wanted it since he started with the “beautiful”s, and you hesitate, because you feel bad that your insecurities mean he’s not getting to come, but you realize that he’s only half hard now. You’ve already ruined the mood.
“Just this,” you say, and you stay like that, wrapped up in each other for a long while.
he lets it go, doesn’t bring it up again. acts like he never realized your insecurities in the first place, except for how he’ll drape an arm over the largest part of your stomach instead of your waist when you cuddle, or the way he’ll sometimes grope your flat ass like it’s big enough to bother when you kiss or fuck. And you forget about the conversation altogether.
and then it’s a couple of months later, and he’s spent the last hour making you come over and over and over until you’re overstimulated, legs shaking. thoughts are hard and words are harder and all you know is that you’re his good little slut, and you take him so well. you’re trying to beg for mercy, but you think it’s coming out more as a collection of mumbled syllables that might form “please”, if one’s being generous.
“C’mon, you got one more for me, sweet girl. one more for me.”
you whine because you can’t take it you can’t take it how can you take it when you’re already this wrecked?
“shshsh… c’mon sweet girl, c’mon.” your back is to his front, the head of his cock teasing your entrance. “open your eyes. open your eyes.” you can’t you can’t you can’t— “be a good whore, and open your eyes,” he orders lowly, and you gasp and you do, finding your reflection staring back at you. it might’ve caught you off guard but you’re already so fucked out that it only just registers.
“there she is.” He pulls your leg out to the side, the mess he’s made of your folds on display. He places a finger on top of your clit, but offers no additional pressure. “Look at you. So fucking beautiful covered in my cum.”
You whine, because the barely-there touch on your clit and the brush of his cock against your entrance are cruel cruel cruel. You try moving your hips, try to sink onto him, but his hand moves from your leg to your hip, holding you in place.
“Don’t,” he warns, and you have no choice but to obey the easy power in his voice. “Wanna look at you like this. Fuck you’re gorgeous. Think I could keep you like this all the time. You want that, huh? Want me to keep you like this, ready to be fucked like a good whore whenever I want.”
You don’t even try to answer, mesmerized by the sight of your swollen pussy painted with white, his thick cock visible below.
“You’re so beautiful. Jesus Christ, sweetheart, you’re beautiful,” he says, more softly this time, and the words start to break through your fucked-out headspace. Then he’s thrusting into you, rough and deep, and any thoughts you might’ve had are lost as he hits your g-spot with each thrust, fingers busy on your clit. Your eyes slip closed, and he orders you to open them again. “Watch as I fuck you,” he says, speeding up his pace, and you’re begging, pleading, but for what you don’t know. For more, for less? It doesn’t matter. Your entire purpose has narrowed down pleasing him. “Tell me how beautiful you are taking me.”
You know he knows you lost your words a while ago. You manage a high sound of pleasure, watching his cock split you open with each thrust. “Say it,” he orders again. “Need my girl’s pretty voice in my ear when I come inside her again. ” You’re stuttering now, mumbling, trying to form the words. “Say it.”
“ ‘M so- pretty- taking your- your cock. Frank!” You eventually manage, rolling your hips, watching him disappear inside you. The sight is so erotic, you think you could come from that alone.
“Keep goin’ sweet girl, c’mon-” and his voice is lower and lower in your ear, the way it always is when he gets close.
“ ‘M beautiful- covered- in your cum-! Please please please, Frank, please-”
“Once more for me sweetheart, need it to come, need to hear you say it-”
“ ‘M beautiful- I’m - I’m - beautiful-” and the hand on your hip moves to band around your waist as he moves faster, until you are nothing but sensation, nothing but his beautiful little slut, so good for him, so good for him. “I’m- I’m- I’m-“
Still in his thrall, you come again, writhing on his cock, watching your bodies as you do. You can see the flushed skin of your cheeks and neck and chest, see the taut muscles of his thighs and arms as he fucks you. From here, you can’t see the small flaws of your body just the shapes and the colors. Then he comes with a low noise in your ear, and you keep your eyes open, watching as his face goes loose, soothed in a way you rarely see. It’s beautiful.
He rests his head against your shoulder and you sigh happily, still not quite back to yourself. He uses his grip on you to fall backwards into the mattress, tipping onto your sides as he slips out of your cunt. You both make a small sound at the loss, but you’re not back to yourself enough to ask him to stay inside you.
You stay there for a long moment, wrapped up in each other. But eventually the adrenaline starts to fade, and you realize what that last part of the scene was. Your request, from months ago.
As if he can sense that you’ve come back to yourself, he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Too much?”
“Was that for me, or for you?” you blurt, instead of an answer. The intense pleasure you had just been made to feel seems now to have returned as grief, the warning of tears thick in your voice.
It takes him a second to respond, and then he’s shifting on the mattress. “Hey. Look at me.”
Trying to blink back the tears, you roll over to face him. He’s propped up on an elbow, looking at you with such love and care and concern in his dark eyes the tears become that much harder to stop. You press the heels of your hands into your eyes. His hands reach out to wrap around your wrists, and pull them away from your face, and you give up trying to stop them.
Frank wipes the tears from your cheeks. “Was for both of us, yeah? You’re so goddamn beautiful, and I get to see it every day but you don’t. Watching us like that, together? Never would of thought of it, but it was… fuck, yeah, it was for both of us.”
And that’s an answer you can accept, can appreciate. Maybe the only one. But the tears don’t stop, and he kisses your forehead. “How ‘bout we go shower, huh? That was… I pushed you hard. Let’s go shower.”
You nod, and he pulls you towards the en-suite, warms up the water and then helps you in, stepping in afterwards before beginning to wash your skin from the mess he'd made on you. You stand there, trying to stop yourself from crying, not entirely sure where the tears came from in the first place. But when you try to stifle your quiet noises, Frank tips your chin up, forces you to look at him.
"Don't pull that. Let it out, sweet girl. Let it out." It's the same thing you say to him when he comes home from a bad night, or when the nightmares chase him out of sleep. You let yourself sob for something you can't quite put words to. Frank holds you up through it all, massaging your scalp and washing your skin, whispering sweet words in your ear.
he gets out only when your tears have finally stopped, a few minutes before you to change the sheets, then comes back to turn off the water and bundle you in a towel. he dries you off before pulling you back to the bedroom, helping you underneath the covers and turning off the light.
You're both on your sides, facing each other in the dark. You can feel him hesitate, trying to decide if he should reach for you. You move closer, burying your face in juncture between his neck and his shoulder, breathing in his scent. His arm wraps around your back and brings you closer.
"You're not lying to me." Your words are quiet, little more than a mumble against his skin.
He doesn't have to ask about what. "Haven't lied to you since I told you my name. Won't start now."
You hum. "This won't be... enough to fix it."
"Yeah, but I'm gonna keep telling you. Gonna tell you whenever you let me. As many times as you need before you stop asking, yeah?"
You sigh happily. "Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. I really, really, love you."
He kisses the top of your head. "Love you too."
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