#i really like that it gets decently complicated even with the earlier fights

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

thronebreaker is sooooo fun

#i started playing it today and i got so engrossed i ended up playing it for 4 hours straight #originally i was just gonna peek into it for a lil bit #the start was so overwhelming cuz i just got slapped in the face w a bunch of new mechanics #and like the game itself is reaaaaally different from the witcher 3 gwent which caught me rlly off guard #but now that im more used to it. its good! i like it a lot #i really like that it gets decently complicated even with the earlier fights #also the puzzle fights are very fun #but even the regular fights have unique twists to them and its rlly cool #ive gotten stuck on a few of them for a while i rlly like how it rlly makes u push ur strategy #like in og gwent its so easy to steamroll your opponents if you have a good deck (or if you just get lucky) #but here so far it feels a lot better balanced and its rlly cool #the one thing im sad about is that u dont play as geralt :( i was looking forward to seeing him again #i know he like appears at one point (or i think he does??) but i wanted to play as him 😭

[luminouslumity]

THOUGHTS ON: ARIADNE and ELEKRA

So I've reentered my Greek myth phase and I just want to talk about these two books for just a second!

First off, look how beautiful the covers are! And second, out of all these authors who've been retelling the Greek myths, Jennifer Saint is definitely one of my favorites! Something I've always hated about a lot of retellings (even with ones I've liked) is how characters are brought down in order to elevate the likability of another, even if that character has had no basis of being petty or cruel previously. And honestly, I probably wouldn't find it nearly as irritating as I do now if it weren't done with the same characters over and over again, with many of these stories having absolutely nothing new to say! Because then it just feels less like the author is trying to be revolutionary and more like they're just following a trend. And where's the challenge in that?

Enter Ariadne, a story all about challenging perspectives, about how appearances can be deceiving, even those made by the decent ones. Of course, you have Theseus with his abandonment of Ariadne after building himself up to be the greatest hero since Heracles, but later on, you also get Perseus; whom Ariadne comes to despise both because of his beheading of Medusa and because of his refusal to let his people worship Dionysus... until she actually meets the guy and finds that not only is he actually really nice and in a very complicated situation, but she herself even acknowledges that her perception of heroes may have been warped because of what Theseus had done to her, all while still having Perseus as an enemy.

As for Elektra, I actually liked it more than I did Ariadne, but also didn't, if that makes sense. So take Helen for example. How many times have we seen her as either vapid or selfish, someone who doesn't care that lives were lost in her name? Well, in this book... I wish we could say we get the opposite of that, but the thing is, this portrayal of Helen has very little personality to even speak of other than being nice! Seriously, even what led her to run away with Paris is treated with complete ambiguity! Like, I prefer it to her being demonized (Atwood, Miller to an extent) or desperately longing for freedom to the point of selfishness (Gill, Heywood), but that's not really saying much, is it?

Compare this to the Epic Cycle, where we get scenes like this:

Then Iris went as messenger to white-armed Helen, in the likeness of her husband’s sister, the wife of Antenor’s son, she whom Antenor’s son, lord Helikaon, held—Laodike, most outstanding in beauty of all of Priam’s daughters. She found Helen in her chamber; she was weaving a great cloth, a crimson cloak of double thickness, and was working in the many trials of the Trojan horse-breakers and bronze-clad Achaeans, trials which for her sake they had suffered under the hand of Ares. Standing close, Iris of the swift feet addressed her: “Come this way, dear bride, and see the marvelous deeds of the Trojan horse-breakers and bronze-clad Achaeans, who earlier carried war and all its tears against each other into the plain, in their longing for deadly battle; these men now sit in silence, the war stopped, leaning on their shields, their great spears fixed upright beside them; and Alexandros and Menelaos beloved by Ares are to fight with their great spears on your account; and you will be called wife of that man who is victor.”

So speaking the goddess aroused in Helen’s heart sweet longing for her husband of old, her city and her children.

[...]

“Honored are you to me, dear father-in-law, and revered, and would that evil death had pleased me at that time when I followed your son here, abandoning my marriage chamber and kinsmen, my late-born child, and the lovely companions of my own age. But that did not happen; and so I waste away weeping. [...]”—Homer, Iliad (trans. Caroline Alexander)

And this:

“Come here; Alexandros summons you home; he is there, in his bedroom, on his bed that is inlaid with rings, shining in beauty and raiment—you would not think that he came from fighting a man, but rather that he was going to a dance, or had just left the dance and was reclining.”

So she spoke; and stirred the anger in Helen’s breast. And when she recognized the goddess’ beautiful cheeks and ravishing breasts and gleaming eyes, she stood amazed, and spoke out and addressed her by name:

“Mad one; why do you so desire to seduce me in this way? Will you drive me to some further place among well-settled cities, to Phrygia or lovely Maeonia? Perhaps there too is some mortal man beloved by you—since now Menelaos has vanquished godlike Alexandros and desires that I, loathsome as I am, be taken home. Is it for this reason you stand here now conniving? Go, sit yourself beside him, renounce the haunts of the gods, never turn your feet to Olympus, but suffer for him and tend him forever, until he makes you either his wife, or his girl slave. As for me, I will not go there—it would be shameful—to share the bed of that man. The Trojan women will all blame me afterward; the sufferings I have in my heart are without end.”

Then in anger divine Aphrodite addressed her: “Do not provoke me, wicked girl, lest I drop you in anger, and hate you as much as I now terribly love you, and devise painful hostilities, and you are caught in the middle of both, Trojans and Danaans, and are destroyed by an evil fate.”

So she spoke; and Helen born of Zeus was frightened; and she left, covering herself with her shining white robe, in silence, and escaped notice of the women of Troy; and the divine one led her.

When the women arrived at the splendid house of Alexandros, the handmaids swiftly turned to their work, and she, shining among women, entered into the high-roofed chamber; then laughter-loving Aphrodite, taking a stool for her, placed it opposite Alexandros, the goddess herself carrying it. There Helen took her seat, daughter of Zeus who wields the aegis, and averting her eyes, reviled her husband with her words: “You’re back from war; would that you had died there broken by the stronger man, he who in time past was my husband. Yet before this you used to boast that you were stronger than Menelaos, beloved by Ares, in your courage and strength of hand and skill with spear; go now and challenge Menelaos beloved by Ares, to fight again, face-to-face—but no, I recommend you give it up, and not fight fair-haired Menelaos man-to-man, or recklessly do battle, lest you be swiftly broken beneath his spear.”—Homer, Iliad (trans. Caroline Alexander)

And if you want to look beyond the Iliad itself, there's also this:

Next comes the Little Iliad in four books by Lesches of Mitylene: its contents are as follows. The adjudging of the arms of Achilles takes place, and Odysseus, by the contriving of Athena, gains them. Aias then becomes mad and destroys the herd of the Achaeans and kills himself. Next Odysseus lies in wait and catches Helenus, who prophesies as to the taking of Troy, and Diomede accordingly brings Philoctetes from Lemnos. Philoctetes is healed by Machaon, fights in single combat with Alexandrus and kills him: the dead body is outraged by Menelaus, but the Trojans recover and bury it. After this Deiphobus marries Helen, Odysseus brings Neoptolemus from Scyros and gives him his father's arms, and the ghost of Achilles appears to him. Eurypylus the son of Telephus arrives to aid the Trojans, shows his prowess and is killed by Neoptolemus. The Trojans are now closely beseiged, and Epeius, by Athena's instruction, builds the wooden horse. Odysseus disfigures himself and goes in to Ilium as a spy, and there being recognized by Helen, plots with her for the taking of the city; after killing certain of the Trojans, he returns to the ships. Next he carries the Palladium out of Troy with help of Diomedes. Then after putting their best men in the wooden horse and burning their huts, the main body of the Hellenes sail to Tenedos. The Trojans, supposing their troubles over, destroy a part of their city wall and take the wooden horse into their city and feast as though they had conquered the Hellenes.—Proclus, Chrestomathia

And this:

Concerning Aethra Lesches relates that when Ilium was taken she stole out of the city and came to the Hellenic camp, where she was recognised by the sons of Theseus; and that Demophon asked her of Agamemnon. Agamemnon wished to grant him this favour, but he would not do so until Helen consented. And when he sent a herald, Helen granted his request.—Pausanias

Say what you will about society in Ancient Greece, but it really is sad when the source material is even slightly more progressive than the retellings are, such as when Helen tries to resist Aphrodite. And that's not to say Helen has never been given a more assertive personality before, but when she is, it's usually at the expense of making Menelaus a terrible husband (again, Gill, Heywood). The only other one I can think of that even comes close to this without attacking another character is The Private Life of Helen of Troy by John Eriskine, and not only did it come out in 1925, but it's a sequel anyway too.

Going back to Elektra, I'm surprised there has yet to be a generational series on the House of Atreus as a whole, because wow did I forget how messed up this family was and I love it! You've got your family drama, your betrayals, your cycle of vengeance! And with Pelops' line specifically, it all leads up to a mother avenging her daughter and a daughter avenging her father. It's perfect! But seriously, if anyone knows of a show or book series covering Tantalus and his bloodline, please tell me!

Which brings me to Agamemnon, whose portrayal here I found to be interesting. So something about Elektra is that it's told from three different PoVs, and because of that, each views Agamemnon in a certain way: to Clytemnestra, he's the proud warrior who killed their eldest daughter; to Elektra, he's the kind father whom she misses dearly; to Cassandra, he's her captor and destroyer of her city. And even then, we still get these tiny glimpses of his true self beneath his usual stern exterior—that of an insecure man who's desperately trying to make something out of his family name after reclaiming his home, a name that had already been cursed since long before he was born. But maybe he can change that by gaining glory in war... even if it means sacrificing his own daughter for a fair bit of wind.

Then you have the clear parallels that are drawn between Clytemnestra and Elektra as the book goes on, simultaneously sympathizing and condemning both for the actions they take. Even Aegisthus probably would've been seen as a hero if this were any other story. And I feel like this is true to the original Oresteia as well, how not one person can be categorized as being solely a hero or villain, but human.

So go ahead and give me the love story of Hades and Persephone, but remember that it's mournful Demeter's tale as much as it is theirs.

Give me the stories of the women and goddesses who have long been ignored throughout the centuries, but remember that it's possible to write such tales without having there be a need to drag those around them down.

Give me love, give me drama, but most of all, give me understanding and complexity.

And going back to the books themselves, honestly, if there was anything negative I had to say about both of them is that the myths are retold pretty directly for the most part, something I myself didn't actually have much of a problem with, but I understand may be a turn-off for some people, especially if you're looking for something a little more deviating from the source material in terms of characterization. Also, for some reason, both Greek and Roman spellings are used, instead of just sticking to one, hence why I've been using Elektra instead of Electra, but not Klytemnestra and Kassandra for, well, Clytemnestra and Cassandra. Not unique to Saint, but still no less jarring.

Like I said, of the two, Elektra was probably my favorite, but there were still a ton of problems I had with it, some more nitpicky than others, I'll admit. I already went over my feelings on Helen, but besides that, seeing more of Elektra's relationship with her father before he goes off to war would've been nice to see too. I also feel like if each book absolutely had to be named after a single character, then I kinda think this one should've been called Clytemnestra instead since it really did feel more like her story than Elektra's, at least for me. Some parts also felt a little rushed, especially with how the final chapter just jumps from Elektra getting her revenge to the epilogue describing what had happened afterwards instead of actually showing it, which makes me wish this book had either been a little longer or divided into a duology—one part focusing on Clytemnestra getting her revenge while the other is focused on Elektra's, similar to how Aeschulys divides them in his Oresteia trilogy. Or if neither of these solutions while still keeping the book at the same length, then maybe Cassandra's PoVs could've even been saved for her own book instead.

Speaking of Cassandra, there's also the fact that her fate ends up being a mercy kill rather than the cold-blooded murder it was in the original, basically absolving Clytemnestra of any wrongdoing when it came to this. Admittedly, I wasn't as annoyed over it as I could've been and the choice made sense to me as far as the presentation of the characters in the novel are concerned, but at the same time, it'd be nice to see more retellings actually portray Clytemnestra as so far gone by the time Agamemnon returns that she ends up killing an innocent in cold blood rather than just being a mournful mother out for revenge. Seriously, it's possible to do both.

And as for Elektra herself, the fact that it is very heavily implied she has the complex that's been named after her is just... no. And if that's the case, here's hoping Saint never does an Oedipus retelling. I can handle it with the gods because they're gods, but not when its mortals.

Also, the fact that Theseus isn't even mentioned once in Elektra despite the fact that he (and Pirithous) tried to kidnap Helen when she was twelve always felt like a missed opportunity to me, especially considering the book was published after Ariadne, where Theseus is of course a major character and him and Pirithous trying to kidnap Persephone is actually mentioned. It wouldn't have added anything to the story, but I still think addressing that little connection would've been neat.

And yet despite all of this, I still loved it, as well as Ariadne, flaws and all. But here's hoping Atalanta will be even better!

#greek mythology #jennifer saint #ariadne #elektra #theseus #hippolytus #phaedra #clytemnestra #cassandra #helen of troy #helen of sparta #menelaus #agamemnon #house of atreus

[fueledbysano]

𝟎𝟎𝟗 | still take you home

summary: and as he looked into her eyes deeply for the first time, he could see the future that he never dreamt of, but now longed for more then ever. [ Y / N ] shares a sweet moment with Mikey as she treats his wounds after a fight. Takemichi meets the pair's daughter from the future.

content/warnings: this story contains major Tokyo Revengers manga spoilers, canon divergence setting, tenjiku arc setting, comfort, fluff, angst, detailed writing of violence, weapons, blood, death, and strong language.

a/n: using a new layout :) also i apologize for the lack of updates i still very much love this series but I had to reread the arc and it required a lot of finding for free time to do that. anyways, here's nine.

wc: 4k

series masterlist | previous | next

The school gates after hours were a place for lovers and cliques. Every available seat was occupied by either— a couple gazing into one another’s eyes; or a fun group cracking jokes. Yet by the fountain stood a lonesome girl, statue-like in her styled uniform.

[ Y / N ] almost belonged, but not quite.

You dressed in scrubby maroon trousers like all others and wore a white button-up with a complementing necktie under a black leather jacket patched with some band logos that had been in fashion before you were born.

While it quite sucks that none of your close friends in Toman or the girls go to the same school, the loneliness in the environment is a blessed curse. I think most people will agree when I say— Existence by yourself offers the possibility for true tranquility to settle every aspect of your being after a stressful day.

Growing up alone was terrifying to you. You’re fortunate in a way that you eventually had people’s pleasant company that has brought harmony, delight, and a fresh sense of surprise. All while respecting your personal time.

We occupy this equilibrium, and it is wise to be aware of these emotional ebbs and flows.

This school was your only “break” from the bustle of you and your friends’ gang life, so it was only acceptable that none of the people here truly knows the reasons behind your absences, as well as your reserved and serious demeanor; and you were happy to maintain decent grades whilst keeping a low profile.

However, trying to live two different lives will eventually catch on, and will make things complicated.

“No shit, she does street racing?!” You subtly turn your head to the right, only to see in your peripheral vision the clique of the school’s wealthy and “popular” kids seated on the other side of the fountain.

Were they talking about me? You question yourself, and maintain your posture. You know it’s possible that at some point, your schoolmates will have to find out that you break speed limits (and when necessary, bones) for a living. and you were never really ready for that.

“Makes sense, she doesn’t even come to school every day and we’ve never seen her outside. Probably gets into fights too.” One girl spoke. You find it quite obnoxious of her to spread rumors about someone right behind them.

“She seems cool, invite her over and let’s ask.” One guy spoke up.

“Yo, [ L / N ]–chan!” The group finally made themselves visible to you by surrounding your space.

“Care for a drink?” A girl offered.

“That depends.” You answered, relaxing your shoulders and letting your elbows situate on the concrete behind you.

“It’s on us!” They insisted.

“I can hear you, y'know?” You spoke, referring to the earlier incident.

“Yeah. So… Do you still wanna come?” The girl asks.

“Hm,” You hum in response, taking a few steps forward as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. Not only they’re obnoxious gossipers, but also rude.

Did they mean alcohol? If so, you didn't want to overshare and drive under the influence. If they meant coffee or anything of the like, it’s always nice to get treated. And although you don’t exactly like it, small talk would do. It’s a small price to pay for their company and drink.

However, having heard what they have been talking about earlier, you knew their intentions right away. So, you had to decline.

Just as you were about to respond, a crowd of students at the front started to steer clear of the area as the sound of a familiar, loud motorcycle engine was fast approaching. You hum to yourself before walking past the group, just in time as Mikey pulls over at the front gate.

He was quite earlier than the usual time when he fetches you from school.

“Hey, B. Hop in.” He spoke, tossing a helmet your way which you effortlessly caught just above your height.

Mikey kept a close glare on the group of students who were surrounding you. “I’ll catch you another time.” you mounted the seat behind him on the motorcycle before securing the helmet over your head.

“Tch.” Although you couldn’t see it, one of the girls rolled her eyes and took her friend as they left.

“Hey, Mikey.” You smiled at him through the side mirror, encasing his torso in your arms.

“Come on.” He pats your arm before revving the engine loudly and then speeding off.

“Were those kids bothering you?” He asks once you reach a quieter road.

“Actually, I can’t tell.” You answered. “This isn’t the way to my house. Where are we off to?”

“Emma. She wants to have you and Hina over for dinner.”

“Yes!”

Not long enough, the two had pulled over in front of a small record store where Emma part-timed.

“Everyone will meet here. Do you mind waiting?”

“Not at all, I like hanging out here.” You answer upon opening the glass doors to the shop, the dainty bells above making a sweet chime which notified Emma of your presence.

“[ Y / N ]-chan! Let me just close up and we’ll go.” She spoke from behind the counter.

“Take your time, I’ll be here.” You waved her off, making yourself comfortable on the common area couch. “What’s new this week?” Your eyes were focused on scanning through the vinyl records to test out on the player.

However, just as you picked your choice, Mikey had already put on a Linkin Park record which started to spin and play on the player. With a smile, you relaxed back down on the seat, letting your legs rest above Mikey’s lap which earned a faint hum from him.

But just as he saw your cozy state laid on the couch comfortably, he pats on your leg with a smile, keeping it in place before slouching onto a more comfortable position himself.

“I’m so glad we got to go home early today, we have been preparing for the event all day…” Mikey didn’t even hear your fussing, his mind too clouded with the thought of your closeness and how he wished you didn’t have other plans and stay just as it is.

“Mikey, it's almost time.” Draken’s voice followed the store bell chime, diverting your head to the Toman founders heading to see their leader.

“Right.” You let your legs fall to the ground to let Mikey get up, then shift to get up on your own.

“Hey, Emma! We're leaving.” Draken calls.

“Yeah, say goodbye to your brother.” Mikey added.

“Bye, Mikey!” Emma waved from behind the counter. “And uh, goodbye, Draken!” She smiled sweetly at the tall boy as the rest of them left.

However, Mikey remained, eyeing his friends on their bikes before turning to you, who returned to the seat to inspect your phone.

“Hey.” He was situated on your side, making his presence known.

“Hm?” You hummed in response, now looking the boy in his eyes.

“A kiss before we leave?” With a pout, he asks so adoringly, making it impossible for you to deny. Which you didn't, leaning forward to initiate a sweet kiss with the boy as your second kiss with him.

“You're my first kiss, you know?” You breathed out in between kisses.

“And I you.” He sweetly responds. “And I want a thousand more.” He added, pulling you in for another kiss before he leaves.

“Have fun at dinner.” Mikey grins.

“Good… luck with the meeting?” You chuckled.

“I'll see you soon.” Mikey's hands wandered down your waist for a hug before sending himself off. However, upon turning to the doors, Draken stood tall with his arms crossed and an impatient look on his face.

“AH!” Mikey yelped.

“Tsk.” Draken shook his head.

“Oh, there’s the lint.” Your hands scurried to his shirt to flick off a "lint".

“Bye bye!”

“Bye…” You waved in response, watching him leave the store with Draken.

“So, what are we having?” You turn to Emma just as she leaves the staff room.

“Hina is showing us the new place that opened up down the road.” She smiled, flipping the “CLOSED” sign on the door you’d just walked past.

“Hina-chan! This is an amazing choice of place. The food and ambience is really nice.” You chirp just as the waiter leaves upon serving your desert.

“Hm, I wish I had ordered the parfait too…” Hina admired the treat on the table.

“We can share, here.” You insist, pushing the tall glass in the middle of the table.

“So, my friends at school were talking about kid names,” Hina mentioned while digging into the layers of cream,

“Why?” You wondered, picking off the cherry on top.

“We drew our ‘future kids’ in arts class today. The teacher was asking for a name too.” She explained.

“I’m glad we didn’t do that at my school. Would’ve taken me more than a day. I’m very indecisive.” You chuckled.

“You would.” She agreed.

“Anyways, what did you come up with?”

“I really like the name Lili.” She spoke.

“That’s so cute, Hina-chan! I would’ve put Kuroe.” Emma agreed.

“Like the American movie? That’s so nice.” You spoke.

“What about you, [ Y / N ]?” Emma nodded in agreement before turning to you.

“I… don’t know. Never really thought of it. Ask me again in like… Twelve years?” You chuckled, tossing in a random number as you finished the fruit.

While digging into the parfait, you were lost in thought when all of a sudden you remembered a name you adored and had once read in a book you enjoyed. Morin, that’s right.

“But, I do like the sound of the name—” Just as you were about to mention it, your phone rang and displayed the name of one of your teammates. “Excuse me.” You sigh, sliding out of the booth you sat on.

During your absence, Emma and Hina carried on with the conversation until the blonde girl had emptied her cup of tea.

“Alright, it's reading time.” One of her found-hobbies was Tasseography, which is the art of identifying symbols and interpreting messages found in the shapes and configurations of tea leaves.

“I’ll finish this then do mine too!” Hina spoke, sipping on her own cup.

“Yeah, me too. You haven't done my leaves in a while, Emma.” You returned just in time, pushing your empty tea cup towards the girl.

“Alright, give me.” She picked the ceramic cup, carefully inspecting the shapes at the bottom of it.

“[ Y / N ]–chan?”

“Yeah?” You hum, watching her reactions.

“Are you and Mikey dating?” She asks right away.

“What?” Your eyes widened, curious of what she had in mind.

“You see— this sign here means strong emotion, and uh… here is a heart for love, romance, and home…” She observed, showing the symbols for you.

“If the zodiac wheel is printed on this cup, the heart would be on… the Leo house.” She added.

“Mikey-kun is a Leo!” Hina mentioned.

“Yeah, exactly.” Emma agreed. “This chain pattern right here means a series of events and responsibility so you will be busy…” She continued,

“and uh, the cross sign here means… plus, or addition. Something or someone is coming into your life. That’s all.” Emma finished, placing the cup back down.

“Is that bad?” You wondered.

“Only fate knows.” She smiled, which you hummed in response to.

“Your turn, Hina-chan!” Emma turned to her.

“So, all that from an empty cup of tea?” Hina questioned.

“Amazing, huh?” She responded, this time with the other girl’s tea cup in her hands.

“Uhm, about Mikey…” You started,

“You don't worry about me! I always knew you two would end up together, you know?” Emma chuckled and paused for a moment. “and I helped him pick the flowers he gave you, so I figured.” She shrugged.

“You know, I hated being given flowers. It’s like people are giving me something to look after. Like a pet.” You mentioned, slightly slouching on your booth. “So I’d rip them apart and put them in my car to smell nice.” You added.

“But, I didn’t do that with the ones he gave, they’re still fresh on my desk.” You smiled to yourself before noticing your two friends giggling at your words. “Whatever.” You shrugged off, turning your gaze away.

“I never knew someone would like my brother this much.” Emma pointed out.

“Shut up.” You laughed, tossing a napkin towards their way.

“Okay, I’m done reading yours, Hina-chan.”

“Tell me everything!”

After your dinner, Hina insisted on heading home while you and Emma decided to stop by at Toman’s meeting. Sitting on the trunk of one of the parked cars, you managed to get a view of the scene in front of the taller guys who were towering your view.

Mikey is currently in the middle of a fight with a few guys, with two of them left standing and evidently struggling to fight back.

“I thought this was just a meeting.” You wondered, sipping from the bottle of water in your hand.

“He’s punishing the guys who attacked the third division.” Mitsuya joined your spot.

“That gang, right.” You nodded.

Upon finishing the bottle, you continued to watch the ongoing fight. This time, with only one guy left standing. Be careful— you kept on thinking. Everyone is aware of Mikey’s confidence, yet, you could only wish for his safety and certain victory at this very moment.

He, however, noticed your presence by how you stood out on that car trunk and the way a lamp post shred light to your frame.

“Ooou!” Some members winced once the guy managed to land a punch onto Mikey’s cheek, in which he quickly shrugged off and returned, this time with much greater intensity, sending the guy to the ground.

“Alright, everyone’s dismissed. Scram.” Draken demanded, instantly sending everyone to clear the area, hop on their bikes, then leave.

“You took a pretty hard hit.” You voiced, touching his jaw with your fingertips as you observed the bruising skin.

Mikey quietly awed at your gesture, in which he responded with an “I’m fine.” You nodded before taking out a can of soda from the plastic bag of the convenience store you’d stopped by earlier to buy snacks.

Mikey utters a soft “thank you” before taking you to stand by his bike. “Welcome.” You smiled, leaning against the seat along with him.

“[ Y / N ], you do know that… I will never hurt you, right?” He blurts, holding the cold can against his face.

You then realized where this may be coming from, which you assured him in an instant. “Mikey,” You sighed, turning to face him.

“When you looked at me… you seemed scared.” He added.

“I’m not. I’ve seen you fight like a million times.” You chuckled. “It’s just that… this time, I was extra worried for you.” You abruptly turned away from the blurt of emotion before deciding to get to your point. “... and Kenchin. Because then, he’ll be the one who will treat your injuries.” You joked, lightening up the mood.

“To me, you’re our Mikey.” You spoke, taking away the can from his hand. “Who will do everything in his power to protect the people he cares about.” You smiled, carefully cradling his face in your palms. “So to answer your question… I do know that. Always have.” You reiterated with a gentle smile.

In response, he gently pulls your chin towards him and carefully surrounds his lips with yours as you elevate your head to his and offer your lips.

Slightly smiling against each other’s lips, his eyes flutter shut in response, intoxicated by your effect on him.

“Good night guys, be safe on the way home.” On the other side of the parking lot there stood Mitsuya who was preparing to leave with his motor, waving at Draken and Chifuyu who had sped off to the road.

“Your girlfriend is not here?” He turned to Takemichi who stood still, making sure that everyone had left safely.

“[ Y / N ] said she went home early.” He says.

“Oh, need a ride then?” Mitsuya offered.

“I’m fine, thank you.” He politely declined with a bow before bidding their goodbyes.

“Nakata Wheels Downtown.” Morin read out the signage on top of the building, making sure that this is the place where [ Y / N ] lived.

It had been an hour since she stood on the opposite side of the road, thinking through how to approach her mother’s past self. Suddenly, a motorcycle pulls over at the front just as she was about to cross. “Shit.” She cursed, realizing it was [ Y / N ] and Mikey.

“Good night.” She spoke softly, sending the boy off with a hug before he sped off, then blinking the tail lights three times.

[ Y / N ] stayed outside until the boy came out of sight then she carefully lifted the garage doors, tossing her belongings in a car before getting on it to leave.

“Oh, where are you going?” She spoke to herself, hiding into a blinder spot to avoid being seen.

With a failed attempt to connect to [ Y / N ] she turns away to retreat, deciding to start looking for places to sleep at. “At least I’m sure that’s where she lived.” She sighs, sitting at one of the benches at the park she passes by.

With a heavy sigh, she began to slowly slouch and drift into a deep sleep on the uncomfortable bench, until someone talking on the playgrounds had woken her up.

“Mmmn. Better get back home before mom and dad wake up!” Upon opening her eyes, she sees a pink-haired girl and a blonde boy talking by the slides.

“Hina, um…” The boy sighed, “About that stuff I just said, I mean, the future stuff.” He rambled.

Hina?

“I didn’t hear a thing.” The girl smiled in response.

“Huh?”

“Bye-bye, Takemichi-kun!” She turns to leave, waving the boy goodbye.

“Awright! I got a lotta stuff to get done!” He yells at himself with a pep-talk. “For this time-leap, I know who the enemy is…”

Morin gasped at the mention of his name. Takemichi is [ Y / N ]’s close friend in the future, who could apparently time leap too. Has she finally found someone to approach?

But of course, she thought it would be hilarious to mess up with him first.

As he was continuing to do a monologue, Morin had already sneaked behind, landing a slide kick to his ankles which caused him to fall on his ass on the ground.

“What, who are you?!” The boy yelled, looking up at her with surprise.

“Hello, uncle.” She smiled before stepping on his feet to keep him in place.

“Who?” He asks in confusion.

“You know, I genuinely thought—” She was about to answer until someone had dragged her shirt from the back, “Wait, what—” Upon facing the person, Hina was back with an angered expression, making sure to land a slap on Morin’s cheek the moment she turned to her.

“Who are you?” She asks.

“Why’d you do that? And yea, who are you even?” Takemichi winced, getting up from the ground.

“Sano.”

“Eh? Sano?” He asked in surprise.

“Morin [ L / N ]-Sano.”

“D&D motors” Read on the shop [ Y / N ] went off to collect her car that had been damaged and repaired.

“He looks good as new.” Seishu says, tossing the car keys to [ Y / N ].

“He does, thank you.” She agreed, fingers brushing over to the once damaged door which was now brand-new quality. “Welcome back, baby.” She muttered.

Inui was counting the cash she had paid him when her phone started to ring, “[ Y / N ]– desu.” She answers upon seeing Hina’s name on the screen.

“Hey, are you home yet?” The girl on the other line spoke.

“No, I’m on my way to Yokohama.” [ Y / N ] answered.

“Huh? This late?”

“Racing stuff. Are you home?” She asks, changing the matters in an instant.

“Yeah. Takemichi-kun just dropped me off.”

“That’s great, good night Hina-chan.” She nodded.

“Good night, [ Y / N ]-chan!”

“Try not to answer the phone while you’re driving this time.” Seishu noted, folding up a greased towel in his hands.

“Too soon.” [ Y / N ] turns to him with a straight face. “Still giving you a tip though. Thanks.” But she smiles in an instant, slipping a 500-yen bill in his work shirt pocket before getting in the car to leave for Yokohama.

“[ Y / N ] is sneaking off somewhere. We can’t take you to her.” Hina spoke upon ending the call.

“Of course you can’t!” Morin scoffed. “What’s your plan? Drop me off at her place like— ‘Hey! It’s me! Oh, who’s this? It’s your child. Gotta go’!” She narrated.

“I don’t understand…” With brows tense, and deep into thoughts, Takemichi spoke out. “You weren’t even born yet when I time leaped.” He mentioned, having recalled that [ Y / N ] just found out she was pregnant at the hospital in the future.

“Seems like I’m from far ahead than where you were from.” Morin added.

“Are you sure you’re not another half-sibling or something?” Takemichi scratched his head. Morin sighed in response, taking out a folded up photo from her pocket.

“This is what dad looked like in the future, right?” She asks, showing a photo of an adult Mikey and [ Y / N ] on a beach. She had snuck this from when they were packing things, meaning to keep it in an album before she miraculously went back in time.

“He’s gone and it was just me and mom.” She added.

“Seems that we have the same abilities but you are physically here.” Takemichi pointed out. “Fascinating.” He added.

“What do you mean?”

“I can only time leap twelve years into the past, then back to the future. However, only my consciousness ‘travels’. I’m basically the grown up ‘me’ in my high school self.” He explained. “You weren’t even alive this time. You’re really here. The future [ Y / N ] must be wondering where you are.”

“That is so cool.” She replied. “But, you're right. So, what do we do?” Morin asks.

“Go back. Who’s your trigger?” He asks.

“...what?”

“Listen, what I’m doing here can get dangerous. I… I died in the future I just came from.” He explained, muttering the last part loud enough only for her to hear.

“Damn.” She sighed heavily.

“The [ Y / N ] I know in the future has been hurt enough already, please just come back to her before anything happens to you. She can’t lose both you and Mikey-lun.” He stressed.

“You’re here because you want to get her back, right?” Morin hinted. “Well, I’m here to be with them. I’m not going back until I’m sure mom and dad end up together.” She confided.

“Tsk.” Takemichi sighed, burying his head in his palms.

“Are we gonna do this or what?” The girl questioned.

“You really are their kid.” He sighed in response.

“Eh?”

“You’re brave. Like Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ].” He vouched. “Fine, we’re going to talk tomorrow. For now, do you have anywhere to stay?”

“No. I’ve been sleeping on trains since I got here.” Morin answered.

“You can stay at our home.” Hina insisted. “Will your folks be okay with that?” She asks. “ I’ll just tell them you’re sleeping over because your parents aren’t home.” Hina says. “That works.” The other girl agreed.

“Alright, let’s get going, then.” Takemichi stood from the slide, following the girls as they walked ahead.

“So, that’s how the slap felt.” Morin says, feeling her cheek.

“Hm?” Hina turns to her.

“Mom said you slapped dad in the face one time.” She replied.

“Eh, yes…” Hina chuckled tensely, “Anyways, I’m really sorry about that.” She added.

“No worries.” Morin laughed.

“I still can’t believe it, you really are Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ]’s kid.” Takemichi mentioned it upon listening to their conversation.

“She has Mikey-kun’s hair too.” Hina pointed out.

“For the record, this is really weird to me too.” Morin turns to face him with a laugh. He got shivers just by looking at her due to how startlingly similar her expressions were to those of her father.

“Wait until you meet them, I guess.”

tag list [ open ]: @haimyvu @rizakari @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @mitsurisupremacy @moontofu @psmslove @slutaholic69 @im-like-yeah-hes-fine @keomi-kimo @springtimewolf1995 @bebesanzu @imshittingforyelena @dailyakira @idunnomynamesince2005 @juanaisdead @emilymikado @haruu-i @keisaint @misinfe @fxshigurosbae @xxserenitysnow666xx @emyrl @xngelsau @melody005 @daichisbabymama @4leafcloverwithawhitecraneforyou @r-xochitl @sleezy-axeriix @pandabooster @amerillyss @tellynojelly @kenkenmaaa @astrodiamond @ikilledsparky2 @soushswag @eriskaitto @awkwardaardvarkforever

#if/then #tokyo revengers #manjiro sano #mikey x reader #manjiro x reader #manjiro sano x reader #mikey sano x reader #mikey imagines

[artichokefunction]

the fight is over, and you are the last man standing. no wait- that's not true. there's a cluster of civilians down under the bridge you're standing on. you look down, to assess the situation, and one of them is holding up a gun at you. they all look scared as hell. that's not ideal. you raise your arms, slowly, in a nonthreatening way.

you think it's nonthreatening. the armed civilian disagrees, because he shoots you, in the same knee that you got shot in earlier. you drop down to hide from the small barrage of bullets and also because ow. fuck. your knee. you get a message from the handler, displayed on your visor: [CIVILIANS. DO NOT ENGAGE] and that makes sense but also. fuck. ow. the roadbridge has a decently sized barrier along the edge, to prevent cars from falling off, so you're decently sheltered right now. you try to crawl forward, to where the handler is parked, and it is slow fucking going. you are leaving a trail of blood behind you like a weird snail. and then you stop going because you are ordered to. by the civilian? you make your movements slow, and you hold up your hands where you can, while you maneuver yourself into a sitting position, so that you can see the situation. yeah, it's the civilian. he still looks really scared. and he's aiming at your head now. this situation is suboptimal.

[Are... are you... with them?] he gestures at the ground with his head, and at the bodies littering it.

this guy is scared and he's operating on an information deficit. you shake your head, no, you are not allied with the people you just killed.

[Prove it. Prove that you're not... with them.]

brooo you don't know how to do that. you don't even know what this conflict was about, you thought it would be a quick job. which is why you didn't bring your communicator. fuck.

[PROVE IT! PROVE IT OR I'LL SHOOT!]

[hey! hey can you not shoot that guy, it's with me, thank youuu]

ohhh thank fuck, it's the handler. you're good now- no wait no you arent. she is very vulnerable to things like bullets. the civilian turns abruptly to face her.

[hello, please don't shoot me either, we were called in to de-escalate the conflict in your town. this here is my agent, it was the one who killed all these soldiers who have been giving ye trouble. and our job is done, so we'll be leaving now.]

after a long, tense moment, the gunman switches on the safety.

[thank you. hey dude can you walk? take my hand.] you hesitate, because you are rather bloody. [what? oh, dude it's fine. clothes are washable. that's why I like this top so much actually, it looks like it should be, like, dry clean only, but no it's really durable and easy to clean, it's great.] she pulls you up and swings your arm over his shoulder, and he supports you on the walk back to the truck, and the whole way you are trying to keep an eye on what the civilians are doing. it does look like the gunman is losing his resolve to shoot by the second, which is good for you, because you are in a bad defensive position right now. but you make it back, and there is a space cleared for you to sit down so that the handler can take a look at your knee.

[and this skirt, I found at a charity shop on, like, the other side of the country. and- oh?]

you've grabbed your communicator, [good outfit for today. cute and non threatening.]

they laugh, and they thank you, and then the laugh turns into a cringe when they process the full sentence. [oh, did you think you looked threatening? you scared them?]

[yes]

[why?]

[normally happens. and he shot me. im dressed for combat]

she has a complicated expression on their face, but he sighs like you're right. [yeah... im used to making myself look nonthreatening.] she laughs, and it's not all that funny.

[you talk, also. like human]

[that's true...] he's kinda busy fishing the bullets out of your knee, but she keeps the conversation going. [do you regret, uhh, all this? do you want to change?]

[no. no no. it's just weird]

she huffs a small laugh, and agrees quietly, while moving your leg under the regen machine. you did mean the thing that you said, you don't have any regrets or anything you wish was different. it's just all weird. but it would also be weird if your life was an old, normal way. weird and worse. you're happy to be here and you're happy to be who you are. but you still don't like being scary. it's just weird.

#[fiction] #[category: the agent & the handler] #blood #guns #injury

[vro0m]

i think what george meant lewis getting ahead was discussed as a possibility, like they didn't build the whole strategy based on that. but whatvwas their actuap strategy, i don't understand that either. i agree with poor sight and lack of visibility of this generation of cars but lewis was alongside him leading to t1 and looking at his defence he knew lewis was there.

i think the main issue was starting george with mediums and lewis with softs. bc even if lewis didn't overtake george at the start, if merc wanted put some pressure on max and force strategy errors, they would have needed to lewis to overtake or at least challenge max using his tyre offset. so i really don't know what were they thinking. like would they ask george to let lewis go bc fighting with george would end the already too short lifetime of softs before he even get to max? but then again george's defence doesn't make any sense in this scenario if he knew he would swap positions later. or merc just never thought about challenging for the win and just aimed for double podium. but then idk maybe they could have started lewis with mediums or even hards (iirc merc pace was decent with hard tyre not sure though). bc seriously starting with softs doesn't make any sense unless you aim to attack the driver upfront bc they are gonna chewed in 5 laps.

I agree about the tyre strategy because starting Lewis on softs was weird. If they wanted to let him ahead, he'd have had to pit earlier than George anyway. If the plan was to overtake Max, why did they plan on Lewis doing so and not George? If they didn't want to let him ahead, he'd have burnt out his tyres staying behind George. Seriously what was the plan. Just. Generally. Why would you put the second car on the faster tyre, especially when they're one behind the other. Did the two sides of the garage not talk?

But to be fair the tyre strategy was sooo complicated anyway because of the max stint length thing and how few tyres they had left that I'm confused af by it. I'm honestly not good at tyre startegy to begin with but this weekend was especially difficult to understand. So I'm not gonna start speculating lol

#vro0m's asks

[ceescedasticity]

Unforsaken, 5a

(All sections on tumblr)

(AO3, lagging behind but more polished)

This plan means they are definitely not setting out until spring, and it's still summer. But it's not like they're short on necessary prepwork.

Before Arwen's courier arrives with the Anor-stone, they venture into the depths of the Imladris armory.

There are some arbalests. Two-thirds of them need to be restrung, and several have broken windlasses. Nothing too hard to fix.

Maglor gets melancholy over the ones that don't need to be restrung. Because arbalests are strung with elf-hair, and whose hair is this? Is it from the Last Alliance? Earlier? Even if it was sometime during the Third Age, still, how likely is it that they remain on this fading shore?

"Yeah, yeah, the immensity of the losses of ages, we've all seen it."

There are also polearms with crossguards. They should be in decent shape for small, non-fire-breathing dragons.

Finding good potential warden-fighting weapons for everyone is a little more complicated.

About a fifth of the armory starts glowing indignantly if the orcs dare to approach.

"I really don't think they'd tolerate orc wielders," Turgon says.

"Well, try," Glorfindel says, taking down Glamdring from its place of honor.

Turgon demurs again, but Celegorm will give it a shot!

When his hand touches the hilt, Glamdring glows so brightly the elves have to close their eyes, and the orcs are temporarily blinded.

Also the hilt starts heating up.

Celegorm is fully prepared to hang onto it anyway out of obstinacy, but Maglor smells when his skin starts to burn and orders him to Drop it. Celegorm drops it.

(That's more power than Maglor's used in a while, actually! Good progress.)

Glorfindel concedes that Turgon cannot wield Glamdring.

#orc bank #orc bank unforsaken #a tolkien tag

[killemwithkawaii]

L.S.S.: Do you think you'll be able to answer a few more questions before we go to sleep? It looks like people have some things they want to say to you…

Mitch(2): .... yeah. I think I can.....

L.S.S.: No, it's okay, Meadow.... You were right- I shouldn't have kept all this from him. That might be the whole reason things turned out the way that they did... I'm sorry, Mitchie. 

Mitch(2): No, it... I would never have bought that story, Sally. I mean, I thought you'd gone off the deep end when you started talking about... everything... I don't blame ya for not telling me. You were just trying to protect me, right?

L.S.S.: Yeah... but still. I'm sorry I lied to you... and I'm sorry I bit and scratched you when I was trying to stop you from leaving…

Mitch(2): Eheh... it's alright. I always liked that ya had some fight in ya! I would have probably done the same thing in your shoes.

L.S.S.: Actually, you kind of have... the sixth version of you bit me up pretty good when we first met, and now we laugh about it.

Mitch(2): Ha! See? I guess we're kind of even, then... 

L.S.S.: Heh, yeah 💙

L.S.S.: That's another thing you don't have to apologize for, Meadow- I don't know what having them earlier would have done, but thanks to you, we got a look at the door-to-bed loop and the moment we got our death wounds last night. 

Mitch(2): It was really freaky... like, that stuff just happened. Like [snaps his fingers]. [barely audible]... honestly, I'd have thought Sal did it to us if we didn't have video…

L.S.S.: And I probably wouldn't have blamed you…

It looked like somebody had cut the tape together, but the time mark was consistent, so I don't think anybody messed with it.... One frame, we were lying there sleeping like normal, and the next, our guts were completely out and arranged like that. Same thing with the loop- one frame, we exited, and the next, we were lying on the bed, just like that.

If I wasn't sure before, I'm definitely sure now- this is all one big fucked up glitch that I can't snap out of... 

Mitch(2): …..

Mitch(2): ...Is that really what's gonna to happen to me? I'm gonna disappear after this...? Couldn't this all just be a dream, or..

L.S.S.: ... I honestly don't know. That's what happened before this... The day before you and I woke up late together, I was with the first Mitch. We'd woken up that day with the wounds we had when we'd died together, just like you and I did today, so... I think you might disappear, in a way. But you were already gone, anyway, so... I don't think you'll even realize it's happened, just like you didn't realize you were dead before.

Mitch(2): ...... I'm... I'm really scared Sal....

L.S.S.: You don't need to be afraid, but I understand why you are... No matter what happens, I'll be right here with you, okay? If you don't know you're gone, you won't know I'm gone, either.

Mitch(2): ... [sniffling] that does make me feel a little better... you promise you'll be here the whole time? No matter what?

L.S.S.: I promise. You can put me in a headlock again, if you want to...?

Mitch(2): Eheh... [sniffling] Nah.... I think I'd rather just hold your hand... or snuggle you really, really hard…

L.S.S.: Aw, that's really gay of you... 

Both: [laughing]

Mitch(2): 'Jump'...?

L.S.S.: That's what I call it when I enter or leave a universe. It's a permanent thing- I get one shot in each one, and then I can never go back once I've left.

Mitch(2): Oh.... 

L.S.S.: Don't worry about it, its kind of complicated... er. Actually, it's not, that's pretty much it.

Mitch(2): So you can't try again or visit or nothin...?

L.S.S.: Nope. That's the deal... and that's why I haven't tried it while I've been here. If I am still somehow in the sixth Mitchs universe right now, which I think I am, then jumping would mean I could never come back. Chances are, I'm there and just glitching the fuck out right now, and if I wait it out, there's a decent chance I'll 'wake up' and be home again.

Mitch(2): .... so... you coulda just left this whole time? You're going through all this crazy shit because you think if you wait long enough, you'll end up back with... with that other version of me?

L.S.S.: Yeah... no offence, Mitchie. I would have lived a whole life with you if I could have, but... I couldn't. We were dead in that timeline... Eventually, I moved on, and I found them way, way later, and... we have something I've never had before. I don't want to risk throwing that away.

Mitch(2): .... that's.... [nodding] They must mean a lot to you... I'm... I'm happy that you moved on, Sal. I wouldn't want you to be alone because we... because we couldn't be together. I want you to be happy…

L.S.S.: I am. But I'm also really happy I got to see you again.... I miss you as much as I would miss them....

Mitch(2): .... is it bad that that makes me feel kinda good...?

L.S.S.: Pssh, no... I love you, and them, just in a little bit different way. Still do, and always will.

Mitch(2): Eheh... okay, yeah, that makes me feel really good…

Mitch(2): Ehehe, thanks, darlin'... you've been real sweet to us during this whole thing. Thanks for givin us all those supplies, especially the good eats! It's been real nice talkin with you... if we don't disappear, and this is all some crazy dream or somethin', be sure to come visit us at the diner, okay? I'll have a fresh cinnamon roll waitin for ya! Now brace yourself, these arms aren't just for haulin boxes of fries...! [hugs back]

L.S.S.: Okay, okay, let me get in on this... [joins the hug] Thanks for everything, Meadow. You're a good friend.

L.S.S.: I really, really, really hope so... and you're right. I might have been looking at this glitch all wrong... We were both feeling guilty about my feelings for their past selves. Maybe, this is what I needed to do to be able to move on and really commit myself to being with just them, for THEM... maybe that's why all this is happening...!

Mitch(2): So... wait, why were they guilty, though...?

L.S.S.: Because they don't want me to feel bad for thinking of you and the others so often... they know how happy you made me, but I think they get a little jealous sometimes... 

Mitch(2): Of me? Of... themself...?

L.S.S.: Yeah, kind of... 

Mitch(2): ...Well, I mean, who can blame them? I AM pretty awesome... [laughing] ... and, I gotta admit, I'm a little jealous of them, too, but... I'm also happy for them. And you. I hope it all works out, and... I hope I helped, at least a little bit....

L.S.S.: That's a very 'Mitch' thing of you to say [laughing] I'm really, really happy I got to see you again, Mitchie... I love you. I'm still going to think of you often, but now... now it won't be because I regret all the things I didn't have with you. I'll be thankful for what we did have, and I'll be thankful for all the things I have now, with them....

Mitch(2): [nodding] That sounds like a pretty good way to be...

......

I think... I think I'm ready to go to bed now. Those clean sheets are lookin real nice to cuddle in... you comin?

L.S.S.: Yeah... sounds good, Mitchie. I'm right here with you... 💙

Mitch(2): Thanks, Sally. I'm real happy you'll be with me, if this is really... it.....

Uh, sorry, would you mind giving me a hand with these? I'm still kinda... I can handle raw meat, but my own chitlins are another story...

L.S.S.: Oh, sure! Here, let me help you with those...

Mitch(2): You're the best, Sally-cake. Sweetest guy I've ever met, wouldn't want anybody else handling my delicates...~

L.S.S.: Heh. You too, Mitchie.... Now, let's wrangle these slippery suckers and get snuggly, huh?

Mitch(2): Hehe, okay. Sounds perfect...

#the staycation 🏡💙 #l.s.s. answers #coworker!mitch #danu chan #meadow chan #tw death #tw unreality #tw injury #tw disembowelment #tw yandere #meet the fishers #edited

[boldlyanxious]

Mistaken Identity

@sailormarelda apparently your wish is my command

If you enjoy, check out my masterlist

Just her luck that some asshole on the subway dumped his sticky energy drink all over her. It wasn't just wet. It was sticky and soaking through her shirt. Somehow he managed to pour it on her front and back.

He didn't even apologize. He just shoved past her and got off on the next stop.

It was only a few more stops until her stop. She checked her directions again before she climbed the stairs to get to the street. Maybe luck was on her side because there was a vendor right there with shirts for sale and a very inviting looking coffee shop. She bought a shirt and hoped the coffee shop had a decent bathroom for her to clean up in.

She laughed in the mirror at the shirt and artfully tied it so the ab muscles drawn onto the Superboy shirt for where hers were and it still showed off her dark skinny jeans. It was the best she could do to show off her designs on her outing since her blouse was not currently worth seeing. She hoped she could get the drink stain out later.

The barista did a double take when she ordered and looked a bit confused. She clearly wanted to say something but she took a breath and told Marinette the total. They didn't know her here so they wouldn't know that she frequently ordered drinks like that. She could probably chug it and then take a nap but she definitely needed it for the rest of today.

---

Roy was by the back of the counter throwing away his paper cup when he heard a name he knew coming from the baristas,

"If she weren't clearly a girl I would think it was Tim Drake. It's the exact same order too."

"He was here earlier today. He was wearing the same shirt."

"Maybe there is an evil plot in the city and he got turned into a girl."

"Stranger things have happened for sure."

Roy pulled out his phone and tried to text Tim. Girl Tim was on the phone and definitely not reading any messages. He snuck closer to hear the conversation.

"... Definitely got a look for ordering my regular coffee.

…

I've got a new look though. It is guaranteed to protect me from villains.

…

Okay. Well I have my coffee and I'm on my way. I'll see you there."

She hung up and grabbed the coffee. But Roy couldn't just let her leave. Tim needed help and the Bat family would want to know about this right away.

---

Marinette walked down the street happy to have her coffee. It was exactly what she needed. She was already feeling better. She jumped back from the street when a car suddenly came right at her. So much for American traffic coming from the other direction. Luckily her coffee didn't spill.

"Hey, did you need anything?" the driver called out.

"I'm fine," she responded then muttered to herself, "You clearly need driving lessons."

She hoped he didn't hear her because he was suddenly getting out of the car. He was walking towards her and ask her alarm bells were going off in her head.

"Are you sure? We probably need to get you help."

Marinette looked around trying to make a plan. She looked one way and then took off running the other way. That didn't do enough to confuse his reflexes. He grabbed her quickly and closed her into the back seat of his car. She tried the handle and it was locked from the inside.

She had dropped her coffee and her purse before he pushed her back here. He had grabbed the purse off the ground before he got in and sped off but she didn't think she could reach it. He had a flashing light on the car so no one would question his erratic driving.

Maybe she had been confused with a criminal. She would just need to wait it out until she could explain who she was. Her stomach turned when he pulled off the street and into an underground parking area. He went all the way to the lowest level and to the back. There was only one other car and a door. No one was around.

---

Roy didn't know what had happened to Tim but he seemed to have no memory of who he was. Jason had probably contacted the others by now and they could figure out how to help him. Although it would be easier if she weren't fighting while he was trying. He ended up pulling her out of the car by the leg and throwing her over his shoulder.

She was still yelling at him and hitting his back but no one was around to hear before he entered the code and went through the door. He didn't even bother with greeting Jason. He deposited Girl Tim into a safe room and closed the door. They had a 2 way mirror they could use and an intercom system.

By the time he was finished, Jason was already looking through the glass.

"Damn, Tim makes a hot girl. And loud." Jason said.

"Do we have any idea what might have happened?" Roy asked.

"Oracle is searching and the others are coming. I'll let her know about the loss of memory too. That could complicate things for anyone else affected. If people don't know anything happened we will have to rely on missing person reports."

---

Marinette tried not to think of all the warnings she had gotten before moving here. They had been plentiful but she brushed them off. It couldn't be that bad. She knew people who had lived here for years and they said it was mostly over blown. But sure had been here under 3 days and had just been kidnapped in broad daylight.

She knew the guy had been acting weird. She should have run immediately. She should have stopped being polite and thrown her $12 coffee at his face before running away. She tried to be nice and it was going to get her killed.

---

They all took turns looking through the glass at their friend/brother/son. But Girl Tim didn't know any of them. Oracle had confirmed that the coffee shop was the last place Tim's phone had been and Steph had seen him before he left wearing the same shirt. Roy told them about the phone conversation he has heard and it all fit.

Now they just had to figure out what had happened and how to reverse it.

---

Eventually Marinette got tired of taking to the wall. Technically it was an intercom imbedded into the wall but it felt like it because they didn't seem to hear her at all. There were more of them now. She didn't know how many more but it had to be at least 4 separate people. She was pretty sure it was more than that though.

She didn't know what they could possibly want with her.

She flopped down onto the bed and covered her face with the, hopefully clean, pillow and screamed into it. It felt really good. It was exactly what she needed, aside from her coffee and freedom.

But apparently they choose that time to make a move. Hands were on her holding her and moving here. She saw a needle and she did everything she could to fight them. She definitely hit a couple of them but the needle still went into her arm.

She wasn't sure what they were expecting the result to be but she allowed herself to relax against the arms that still held her. One moved to lift her back in while the others filed out of the small room.

She waited until the doorway was clear before she moved. She jumped back up and hit his chin with her head. He was not dazed for nearly long enough but she ran for the door anyway. She was out of the room and halfway to the exit when he caught up with her and pinned her down.

It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Another man walked in right then.

"What is the deal with you all blowing up my phone? I'm trying to get some work done."

The room froze. They all just stared at him until the man pinning her down spoke.

"If you are there and perfectly fine. Then who is this?"

Tags

2

@theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @adrestar

#maribat #it's always maribat #humor fic #boldlyanxious #mistaken identity

[wackywritings]

Rafe Cameron - Stare into my eyes

Summary: Y/N and Rafe have a complicated relationship. One minute they're on the brink of kissing, the next they're fighting because he's wanting to get high again.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of drugs, fighting.

If it wasn't for the loud music at Barry's and the chatter of people under the influence of god knows what concoction of substances, perhaps she would've heard him arrive on his bike. But alas, she didn't. She was blisfully oblivious as he stumbled up the few steps leading to the trailer, his eyes searching the crowd for her.

"Country club! What you doin' here bro?" It was Barry's voice that made her blood run cold, the conversation she was previously engaging in long forgotten. He was here.

She stood up abruptly, her chair scraping over the wooden floor making an awfully high-pitched sound, piercing the ringing in her ears. She passed by him on her way to Barry's bathroom, not even having to spare him a glance to know he was trailing close behind as soon as he tracked her movement, only to leave a confused Barry behind. He never quite understood the relationship between the two. It's a good thing she didn't look up at him, because she would've no doubt seen the change in his eyes upon meeting hers; hard eyes void of emotion, fleeting around the room anxiously turning into a soft gaze that didn't focus on anything but her. If it wasn't him, now, it would've been almost endearing.

But it was.

He followed her into the bathroom, locking the door behind him as soon as they were both in the cramped space. It was quieter here, but instead of bringing some peace, it only made their thoughts louder. She wasn't looking at him yet, her back to him as he pondered over how to break the silence. How to address this wrack-up of a matter he'd gotten himself into.

"So. I'm a bit high." He cringed immediately after the words left his mouth, internally cursing at himself.

"Yeah, I figured that much, Cameron." She held up her hands in exasperation, but her frustation soon turned into worry as she finally took in the boy's appearance. His right eye sported a new bruise, green and purple and red mixing together on his sunkissed skin.

"You're hurt."

"Clearly. Why else would I get high?"

"Because you have an addiction?" Her eyebrows raised as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was not afraid of him in the slightest. "C'mon, Y/N." His tone was pleading, no, begging. In any other instance, he would've loved her having an attitude, doing anything in his power to rile her up even more. But right now he just needed someone to take care of him.

Her stance softened considerably as she took in the rest of his appearance: the bags beneath his eyes, the locks of hair - not gelled back like usual - sticking to his forehead that was covered in a sheen of sweat, not unlike his polo.

"Okay." She whispered, ever so slowly nodding her head, before moving past him to unlock the door. He didn't smell like the cologne he normally wore, a mix of alcohol and sweat floating between the small space between them. "Let's get you something to change into, alright?" Though she didn't wait for his answer as she opened the door, moving straight to Barry's room.

"You gonna dress me in a wifebeater or some shit?" He inquired with a chuckle as he followed her, plopping himself down on the bed as he intently watched her rummage through Barry's wardrobe. Most of his high had worn off already, and he could begin to feel it.

"Are you kidding? He'll notice it's his and have your ass for it. I'm sure he has some decent shirts he never wears. It'll be less obvious." She reasoned as she opened multiple drawers to find what she was looking for. A victorious 'aha' left her as she finally found what she was after, turning around with the blue longsleeve held high in her hand, only for her proud expression to change into shock, her mouth hanging open.

He'd taken the liberty of taking his shirt off already, something she hand't noticed him doing. She should've said something- anything, so he wouldn't question her change in demeanor. Joked teasingly with him, or even just asked if he thought it would fit. But she couldn't utter a single word as she looked at him. His shoulders broad, arms more muscular than she imagined them to be under his usual attire. Not to mention his chest, or the muscles in his abdomen that rippled underneath his skin (God it looked so soft. She wondered what it would feel like under her grazing fingertips) as he moved to stand up from the bed. She felt her heart hammer against her chest, flushed cheeks as she tried to look anywhere but his shirtless form.

"Gonna give me that?" He was pointing to the shirt still firm in her hand, an amused look on his face. The smugness made her snap out of it - as if his ego needed any more boasting.

"Don't flatter yourself." She scoffed, though she made no attempt to throw him the shirt. It took three, maybe four quick strides for him to be right up in her personal space. She was trying to stand her ground, straighten her back and keep eye contact to seem less affected by their current predicament. She was sure he could hear the hammering of her heart anyway. "Just took me off guard, 's all." She managed to murmur, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth to keep herself from shyly smiling.

He wasn't one to play with her feelings - he knew the kind of effect he had on her. But he quite enjoyed dancing around the subject with her, flirting and teasing and tender touches shared after spending long days together. It was their thing. He had convinced himself it was all he needed from her. God forbid he was honest about how much she meant to him, how much he craved her presence.

"Hm. Did you rather have me change in the bathroom, doll?" He came incomprehensibly closer to her, a breath too deep would have their chests touch. His eyes were boring into hers, now at eye level with her as he bent down slightly.

"I-" She wanted to say something. Tell him a warning would've been sufficient, adding a wink just to tease him back. Maybe say she wanted to be the one to take his shirt off, if she so dared. But his blue eyes were so mesmerising - specs of light shimmering in the dark blue pools of his irises, his pupils focused on her and only her. She could look away to stop the tight feeling from spreading in her chest, sure, but then she'd have to look at his large shoulders covered in freckles and sweat, or his chest rising with every breath he took. Warm breaths that she could feel hit her lips ever so softly. Getting lost in his eyes really was the only option she had. Inevitably, so was losing her words.

And it made him smile. A real, genuine smile. If he wasn't so close perhaps she wouldn't have noticed the way his eyes twinkled, how creases at the corner of his eyes formed, how that dimple arose on his chin.

As if that wasn't enough to make her weak at the knees and her breath hitch in her throat, the bolt of electricity that she felt when his long fingers touched hers, tracing around them like it was some kind of game to him, would've done her in.

"That's what I thought." His voice was raspy and dangerously low as he whispered it - so close to her mouth she wished he would just close the goddamn gap already. But it's Rafe, so of course he didn't. He just tugged on Barry's shirt held tight between her fingers, grabbing it and putting it on a split second later.

"How do I look?" His questioned as he couldn't find a mirror in the room, hopefully glancing at her.

"Peachy." She nodded as she wiped her hands on her jeans. She was upset at the loss of proximity, so perhaps what was supposed to be a comment of teasing nature came out harsher than she meant. Something that didn't go lost on him. Maybe he did take it too far just now.

"Alright, well. I gotta find Barry." He discarded her previous comment, rubbing his nose. The high had officially worn off completely now, and he was dying for more. Though he wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to forget his earlier fight, or forget her. How he felt about her, and how he wasn't ever gonna be enough for her. How he would never have the guts to do something about it.

"Rafe-" She started sternly, glaring at him. Though she quieted down as he held his hands up.

"No, not this again, okay? You don't have shit to say about this, you hear me?"

"What, that's it?" She let out a dry laugh as she stood in front of him, blocking the door. "You're just gonna get high again. Seriously?"

"Y/N, don't start with me now." His voice was threatening now, glaring on the edge of venomous.

"It always ends the same, Rafe, and you were high just minutes ago. Don't you think that was enough? Don't you ever get bored of this shit?" She was asking too many difficult questions for his liking. Her tone was exasparated, too. Tired of having to deal with him and his stupid issues. Of having to patch him up and take care of his pathetic self that just couldn't get fucking clean. He felt the urge to scream, but bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from acting on it.

"What, you're not even gonna say anything?"

"Stop." He gritted his teeth, jaw clenched as he spat at her.

She threw her hands up, before running them through her hair. How was she supposed to stay calm - or approach this situation when he wouldn't even talk to her?

"I just- you're hurting people with this. You're not you, Rafe. Not anymore. I mean look at you." She gestured towards him.

"You don't know who I am."

"But I do!" She all but screamed at him. He kept his composure and his cold glare, but she noticed the way his shoulders tensed upwards at her outburst. So she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm herself down. "I know you. You're sweet and gentle and caring and so incredibly smart."

"Y/N." He wasn't used to compliments, or feeling this many emotions, for that matter. He could feel the need for another line coursing through every inch of his body. He just needed a little bit. Just needed to be able to breathe again.

"No, I'm serious. You're a great brother to Wheezie, you're great to me."

"Don't." He twisted his head to the side, his eyes rolling back as he felt his whole body heating up again, Barry's shirt no doubt already showing sweat stains. But she was far too invested in telling him how amazing he was, eyes trained on the ground as her brows furrowed, words flowing from her mouth at such a rate that in any other situation would've made him wonder where she found the time to breathe. So she didn't listen nor notice how he was struggling.

"You're always trying to please your father."

"Y/N, do not-"

"No, Rafe. I know how much he means to you, but you're never gonna be able to please him if you keep using! He's just going to keep abusing you and you're gonna keep being disappointed and running to Barry to stop yourself from feeling it."

He was proper boiling right now. Sweat was trickling down his forehead, jaw shut tight as he balled his fist at his side. They always say anger looks red, but even with his eyes shut tight all he saw was white. Pure, white, blinding rage. Everywhere in his mind - dying to creep out all at once.

"And it's just this vicious cycle that's never gonna end. And I worry for the day that it becomes your death, Rafe!" She all but yelled his name, voice hoarse and filled with unplaceable emotions.

"Shut your fucking mouth!" He bellowed out, two quick steps bringing him right in front of her, his fist making contact with the door behind her before he even knew he moved his fist in the first place. She cowered down at the proximity of the sound. His body was flush against hers now, even closer than they were before. He was breathing hard, his arms on either side of her as he trapped her between him and the door. His skin touching hers felt hot and damp, but it still made her shiver. Not in a good way though, not like before.

The worst of it all wasn't even his anger, or the drugs, or the fact that she knew she wouldn't be able to stop him.

It was his eyes.

The ones that she had so lovingly stared into mere minutes ago. The ones that held so much adoration and passion for her. The ones that twinkled under the light, sparkled with mischief as he playfully teased her. The ones that she could look into and feel safe - no matter what. The ones that she considered to belong to her home.

They were darker now. Harsh and fierce, flaring up with anger as he looked into her frightened eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed hard, a frown between them. The shadows they casted leaving sharp edges prominent on his face. The specs of light weren't not visible anymore, they were simply gone. She couldn't even distinguish the blue from his pupils. She'd never been the subject of his rage before, and she never understood how most people feared him. But now? As he looked down on her with no emotion but anger written on his face, he looked scary to her for the first time. And she wondered if his eyes would ever feel the same again as her own filled with tears.

"Don't talk about my father again." His voice was strained but louder than she expected. He leaned into her even more to give power to the threathening statement, before completely pushing off. Large hands wrapped around her arms, fingers digging into her skin bordering on putting enough pressure to leave a bruise. He forced her away from the door. Perhaps he expected more of a struggle from her, but she was so shocked by his behaviour that she could only take small and hasty steps away from the door, scared to anger him more. He janked the door open, the sound of the loud bass of the music hitting her ears. The sensory stimulation was too much for her to bear, and she looked up both in a prayer for him to leave and to keep the tears from falling.

"And don't talk to me. We're done." He added. She wanted to look into his eyes. As much as they scared her now, she needed to know if they held any more emotion than his completely void voice just did. But he'd already slammed the door shut.

She was left looking at the closed door as she finally allowed the tears to soak her cheeks.

#Rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron imagine

[taetaespeaches]

“Are you sure you want to take a nap right now, Dear?”

jimin x reader (oc) genre: smut; fluff word count: 3.5K

a/n: hi lovelies!! This is a week late but I hope you all enjoy it. Jimin is just full of surprises and very much in love with Dear/reader. And the feeling is mututal. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

Arriving at your empty apartment after a long day and knowing Jimin would not be joining you later that night was, well, shitty. Everything was so quiet. Dragging your feet to your bedroom with a huff, you eyed the plush bear sitting on the bed.

Jimin had given you the stuffed animal early on in your relationship and it served as a decent cuddle buddy during your boyfriend’s long tours. But it wasn’t Jimin.

Tours were never easy, especially for you and Jimin. A history of insecurities following you both had riddled your minds with doubt in the past, even leading to a temporary separation. However, this tour, though difficult and lonely as always, you both felt more secure.

Communication was consistent between you, allowing you both to address any fears or anxieties as they happened. Though he was miles and miles away, he felt close. You could breathe this time around.

But fuck, you missed your boyfriend.

Stepping out of your work clothes, you slipped on one of Jimin’s t-shirts. It was losing his scent, but if you focused enough, you could still smell the man on the clothing. Walking to the bed, you tapped on the phone screen to check the time. 5:34 pm. Pouting, you mentally counted the hours until your scheduled facetime call with the man would commence. What were you meantd to do with the remaining three hours and twenty-sex minutes?

The group’s tour was coming to a close soon- just a couple more weeks. He was in Japan before the last week of shows started, filming a few things in the meantime. At least with him being just on the other side of the Sea of Japan you were existing under the same position of the sun. Time zones get confusing when he’s traveling nonstop.

Lying across the bed, you held your phone out in front of you as you went to shoot your boyfriend a text.

You: You better be taking care of yourself, my love. I’m gonna take a nap, I’ll text when I wake up. I love you. Can’t wait to see your face in a bit!

Locking the phone, you set it aside on the comforter, grabbing the little bear to cuddle up next to as you tried to get comfy. Definitely not Jimin, you thought. You weren’t sure if you would get any sleep, but it would pass the time. As the end of tour neared, the days became longer.

Absentmindedly, your eyes closed as you tried to lose yourself in slumber, you spun the promise ring that was situated on your finger. It was just a simple piece of jewelry, but its presence on your body served as a reminder of the promise you and Jimin made to each other.

A promise to wait for one another when he was away; a promise that feelings would never lessen through the distance; a promise to trust each other and the relationship, to communicate, to not lose a fight with personal insecurities. A promise that he would always return home. Home to you.

As you opened your eyes to look at the ring, spotting the little PJM engraved on it, a light smile graced your features. Your relationship with Jimin had always been complicated, ever since the start. The obvious attraction was pushed aside for two whole years as you tried to find yourself so you could be your best, for you and for him. But he waited. He cherished your friendship instead, giving you the best of him every single day.

It was hard not to allow the few months you had difficulties as a couple to taint the entire union. Both of you, dealing with your own insecurities, had been pulling away because you thought that was what the other person wanted, only to later find out you both wanted to be closer. Always responding to each other but never communicating. Tours were scary. It had brought out the worst in you both before, but you refused to let it happen again. As he was away, you would always be there waiting for him. Just as he had waited for you years earlier.

You found that physical distance was much easier to combat than emotional distance. You could handle the miles, because you knew he was never really very far. And he’d always return home.

Lost in memories of your relationship, appreciating every challenge as they got you to this point of security, you were suddenly ripped from your thoughts by unexpected disruptions coming from your front door. There was no knocking, but it sounded as though the barrier had been breached.

Heart racing, you sat up in the bed, listening as quiet footsteps approached the bedroom. Reaching for your phone, you prepared to dial for help when suddenly your name was called out, just before the door opened to reveal him. Stunning as ever, smiling brightly, tired eyes only adding to his cuddly presentation, slim fitting sweatpants hugging his legs as the top half was shrouded in a baggy sweatshirt.

“Jimin,” you breathed out, tears instantly filling your eyes.

“Are you sure you want to take a nap right now, Dear?” He teased, that mischievous grin greeting your orbs as a smile curved on your lips.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked him in disbelief as you leaped off the bed, Jimin rushing to you with open arms, both of your smiles bright, expressing nothing but pure love and joy. Your bodies crashed into each other less than gracefully, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck as his own secured around your waist, pulling you impossibly close to him.

The first thing to hit your senses was the feel of him. The man buried his face in your hair as you nuzzled yours against his neck, the warmth of him filling you with comfort. You could feel his heart beating through his chest, melting into the pulses of your own. It was amazing how much a person could feel like home. The second was his scent. The one that was fading on the very shirt you wore. The fragrance, so distinctly Jimin, could make you cry if you focused on it for too long.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered in relief. Relief to have you back in his arms, to not be oceans or continents away. Tightening your grip around him, you didn’t respond, not trusting your voice as tears dropped onto the clothing covering his shoulder.

You didn’t know how long you stood there like that in your bedroom, holding onto each other for the first time in months, simply feeling one another’s physical existence. You missed existing with him. The weight of the ring was pale in comparison to having him in your arms, his body joined with yours.

Eventually, you pulled away just enough to be able to bring your hands to the sides of his face, holding him there so you could appreciate his features up close.

“Oh, Dear, don’t cry,” he cooed, his mouth forming into that smile you adored so much.

“But I missed you too,” you finally replied, a light breathy laugh leaving your lips at his chuckle that left his pretty lips and greeted your ears. And just like that, those pretty lips were on yours, kissing you needily, passionately, wantingly. The meeting was hot, burning almost. It was controlled but fervent in how his lips caressed your own, the man trying to express every bit of emotion he felt for you through the action.

His hands slid under the bottom of your shirt, his shirt, the man smirking against your mouth.

“Is this mine?” He teased, you smiling as you shook your head at his sudden cockiness.  

“Shut up,” you told him, reattaching your mouth to his, his tongue instantly meeting with yours. You relished in the taste of him. No promise ring or facetime call could ever fully take the place of the reality of this man. When his hands folded over the hem of the top adorning your frame, you instantly raised your arms above your head, allowing him to pull it from your body needily, his lips only leaving yours long enough to tug the clothing over your head. His hands slid up the exposed skin of your sides, reaching the curves of your breasts, the man sucking in a breath of air at their bareness.

Lightly clamping your teeth on the plumpness of his bottom lip as he pulled away, your eyes met his dark ones as his tongue ran over his lip. Breaking eye contact, he glanced down at your chest, a smirk curving on his mouth as you returned the expression with a warm smile.

“Fuck,” he breathed out in a whisper, you chuckling as you ran a hand through his soft hair at the back of his head. “Always fucking braless,” he lightheartedly complained as though your tendency to exist in a free state caused him such anguish. Giggling at him, he smiled lovingly.

Within an instant, he was pressing hot kisses to your collarbones, working his way to your chest. Arching your back, you pressed your chest toward him, the man greedily taking one of your nipples into his mouth. At the moan that left your lips, he began backing you up towards the bed, pushing you onto it as soon as your legs met the edge of the mattress.

Looking up at him, you watched as he pulled the sweatshirt from his body, fluffing his hair, making him look both adorably disheveled and sexily undone. Next came his pants, the man wasting no time in removing his clothing so he could finally be with you.

As he removed his underwear, you eyed his body appreciatively, drinking in every inch of skin upon him. Every muscle, every pore, every blemish, every bit of flesh, you craved for it. You wanted him.

Jimin quickly grabbed a condom from the bedside table drawer, smiling when he saw they were exactly as he left them. It had been too long. Turning to face you, he let out a breath of disbelief as you slid your own panties down your legs. Reaching for him, your hand gripped the bare skin of his upper thigh, tugging for him to meet you on the bed. However, the man resisted, instead dropping to his knees as he began placing sweet, gentle kisses to your knees, trailing them along the insides of your thighs.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you watched him near your center with hooded eyes that stared your body down.

“Chim,” you breathed out as he left a chaste kiss to you.

“Shh,” he smirked. “Let me love you the way I’ve been craving.”

The words elicited a moan from you as you dropped your back to the bed, allowing him to show you just how much he missed you.

Jimin was very attentive. So in tune with your body, he read each moan and gesture from you like it was a manual, responding to each reaction perfectly as he programmed it all into his mind to bring you the utmost pleasure. With his skills, along with the fact that you hadn’t been touched by him in months, it didn’t take long for you to come crashing into your first orgasm, the man shooting you a stunning smile as he crawled up your body, an aura of pride enveloping him, making him all the more sexy.

“I would say don’t get cocky but you’ve earned it,” you joked and complimented through your breathlessness, just before Jimin’s lips greeted yours once again, the comment causing him to smile into the kiss.

“I really missed you,” he mumbled against your mouth, you pouting at the confession, your hands squeezing at his hips.

“Don’t leave again,” you teasingly begged, Jimin smiling almost bashfully while he sat up on his knees to situate the condom onto himself. Lowering his frame to yours once again, he kissed your nose sweetly, a soft smile gracing your features as you looked into his eyes.

“I love you so much,” he admitted just before pecking your lips. “So much.”

“I love you,” you told him as he guided himself into you, your arms gripping onto his back as he stilled for a moment, allowing himself to get used to the overwhelming feeling of you before moving. “So so much,” you damn near whimpered, your lips just barely brushing against his.

The man brushed the hair out of your face just before he kissed you hungrily, caging your body between his arms as he began dragging his hips, hitting deep within you and eliciting a moan into his mouth.

“Shit,” he breathed out, breaking the kiss, his exhale shaky as he brought his mouth to the side of your face, kissing your cheek as he continued his movements, allowing you to feel all of him. “I could never forget how you feel but fuck it almost feels like the first time,” he confessed in a hushed voice near your ear, a small chuckle attached to the words. Giggling in response, you dug your fingertips into the muscles on his back.

“I know,” you agreed simply, bringing your mouth to his shoulder as you bit him lightly, the man breathily laughing at the action, turning toward you to meet your gaze.

“I don’t know how you’re home right now, but I’m so glad you are,” you told him softly, the man smiling happily.

“Me too,” he responded just as you clenched around him, nearing your high. “Grip me like that again and I’m not gonna last.”

“Good,” you grinned, the man chuckling as he kissed you again. Resting his forehead against your own, he squeezed his eyes shut as he continued rolling his hips against yours, your skin becoming dewey in the heat of the moment.

Jimin reveled in the feeling of your body underneath his own, your chest rubbing against his, your hips bumping against his own as you lifted them off the mattress in an attempt to have more of him. The man moved his hand down to your hip, holding you down with a smirk on his lips as your leg wrapped around his own, digging your heel into his thigh as you desperately chased your approaching high.

“So close,” you moaned, Jimin whining near your ear, his tone breathy, a bit of strain withheld in his vocal cords as he attempted to hold off on cumming just yet.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He asked, almost pleading for mercy, the words followed by a sexy whimper.

Pressing kisses against the side of his face in response, the man turned so his mouth fell on your own, the meeting messy, full of teeth and moans as he reached his high just before you.

It felt as though you were floating as Jimin kissed down your jaw, leaving wet marks across your neck. The man began trailing his lips across your shoulder and down your bicep just before you wrapped your arms around his head. Nuzzling his face against your chest, he closed his eyes, settling into the feeling of your frame, both of you breathless and content.

At some point, Jimin rolled off of you, both of you lying face to face on your sides. Sharing in the intimacy of being together, sweet kisses were passed back and forth, both of you relishing in the touches granted upon each other’s skin.

Few words were spoken between you, but rather you simply existed within each other’s presence. Eventually, you found yourselves cuddled up with Jimin behind you, spooning your nude body, his hand intertwined with your own in front of your chest.

His fingertips were toying with the metal band of your promise ring as your eyes locked on the identical jewelry positioned on his own finger.

This is home.

You weren’t sure when you and Jimin dozed off, nor how long it had been, but you could feel the rumbling of the man’s stomach when you awoke. He probably hadn’t eaten since very early that day. Jimin’s arm was still draped over your hip, his chest pressed snugly against your back. You were tempted to ignore the man’s hunger, as well as your own, and stay in his embrace for longer. But your desire to nurture him won out as you very carefully lifted his arm from your body, crawling away from him as quietly as you could as to not disturb his sleep.

Grabbing the sweatshirt he arrived home in, you slipped it over your head, fitting it onto your body before grabbing a pair of underwear from your dresser. Tiptoeing out of the room, you made your way to the kitchen to prepare food for the man sleeping in your bed.

You didn’t get very far into the cooking, however, before Jimin’s voice cut through the quiet of the apartment.

“You’re such a little clothing thief,” he playfully complained as he entered the kitchen where you were stood in front of the stove. Turning to face him, you were happy to find that his upper body was bare, his lower half covered with the same sweatpants as earlier, the clothing hugging his hips just right. Giggling, you open your arms for him, the man walking right into them, wrapping his own limbs around the back of your head as yours snaked around his waist.

“It smells like you,” you defended, the man smiling against your cheek just before pressing a kiss to the spot.  

“What are you making?” He asked, peering around your body to see the boiling noodles.

“Just some ramen,” you told him, placing a kiss on his neck. “Thought you might wake up a little hungry.”

“Thank you,” he grinned, turning his head back to be face to face with you. The man nudged your nose with his own causing you to scrunch yours in response. “I’m starving,” he chuckled, a smile stretching across your own face.

“Yeah I know, you woke me up,” you teased, gesturing down to his belly, the man giggling just as you kissed him softly. “Can you grab some bowls?”

The man wordlessly answered by detaching himself from you, retrieving some bowls, along with utensils. He stood close by as you transferred the noodles to the bowls, trying to get away with placing more noodles into the bowl that you handed Jimin, only to be met with a knowing scoff. You both moved to the island where you seated yourselves, facing one another, your knees brushing his own, his hand taking solace on your bare thigh.

“How was tour?” You asked him excitedly just as he scooped some of his noodles from his bowl to your own, making a point to ensure you ate just as much as him. Rolling your eyes at the action, he smiled proudly. “And how the hell are you here right now?”

“Magic,” he teased, you sighing, Jimin giggling as he dropped his head toward his chest. Looking up at you with his stunning smile and warm eyes, he bit his bottom lip just slightly. “I just wanted to surprise you,” he told you. “We still have a couple shows in Japan next week, that was true,” he interjected in a playful, unnecessary defense. “So I’ll have to leave in a few days just for a week but-”

“Wait, you don’t have to film stuff this week?” You questioned, watching as Jimin shook his head.

“No, that was all an elaborate lie to surprise you,” he grinned, almost guiltily as you gasped.

“What the fuck?” You expressed your confusion. “Is everyone in on this then because Tae even said you guys are filming this week, and all the girls-”

“I told you it was elaborate,” he interrupted you.

“You’re insane,” you told him in shock. “Amazingly, wonderfully insane.”

Bringing his face to yours, pressing a series of kisses to your cheek, you couldn’t help but smile and let out a breathy laugh. “I just love you,” he defended his actions. “I am amazingly, wonderfully, insanely in love with you.”

“I’m really happy you’re here,” you told him sincerely.  

“Me too, Dear,” he rested his forehead against yours. As a pout positioned itself on your lips, he pulled away from you to look at your expression. “What’s that face for?” He smiled affectionately.

Giggling at yourself, you shook your head. “Nothing, I just like you.”

The man’s smile widened even more as he looked to his bowl, scooping up a bunch of noodles and shoving them into his mouth. “The feeling is mutual,” he mumbled through his mouthful of food, you laughing wholeheartedly at him.

Sitting with Jimin, eating ramen, you could not be happier that he was home. He told you stories about tour that you had already heard through a screen, and you told him all about the happenings at your work that he had also already heard. And he acted as if your stories were as exciting as his own, or maybe he really found them to be as interesting.

It was easy and comfortable and you were both in bliss just simply being together. It had been months since you got to exist with him. And existing with him, well, that was your favorite thing about existing at all.

#jimin #park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin x reader #jimin fic #jimin imagine #jimin drabble #jimin scenario #jimin oneshot #jimin fanfic #bts #bts jimin #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fics #bts scenarios #bts oneshots #bts fanfics #bts reactions

[ectonurites]

listen ok mayb i just have way too many thoughts on fathers and thats like a me problem but like. i think we should get more tim feeling conflicted abt jack like. after the man is dead. ykno. like of course it was traumatic for him and like. it was just one thing after the other back then but like. idk. i dont think all his issues with jack shld just never be brought up again. like he wasnt terrible awful no good very bad but like. he wasnt a saint either. i just want to hear more of tim's thoughts abt his parents and like. how their deaths made his thoughts and feelings even More complicated. and also bruce wayne vs jack drake who is more dad to tim.

Yeah Tim’s relationships with Jack and Bruce are very complex things that like… they do come up sometimes but a lot of his problems with Jack do stop coming up once Jack’s dead.

Earlier on while Jack is alive I think Tim goes a decent amount into his frustrations with him, thinking especially about that issue of Batman that has Tim writing a letter to Jack about how be doesn’t actually know him (that Tim ultimately throws in the fire at the end rather than giving him).

(Batman #480)

But I think because Jack and Tim had kinda gotten to a place where maybe things were gonna get better between them (because Robin was no longer a secret) right before Jack died, Tim gets really stuck in those ‘what could have been’ thoughts rather than really… analyzing deeply the many problems in their relationship. At the end of the day while Jack & him had many problems and miscommunications, Tim did still love his dad and Jack loved him, and so when he’s gone that loss of the bond is definitely what Tim dwells on (among his other losses)

Then Tim’s whole… thing with the two fathers is complicated. Tim was already 16 when Jack passed and Bruce then adopted him about a year later, but Bruce had already been acting as a father figure/mentor since he was 13. It makes it this weird transition between ‘Bruce is kinda like a father to me -> Bruce is my father.’ and it doesn’t help that Bruce ‘dies’ not all that long after.

Thinking especially about Tim’s story in the halloween special, about him trying to deal with Bruce being gone by relating it to what he and Bruce had done after Jack passed. Tim definitely embraced Bruce as his parent despite the complicated relationship, and it just made the loss hit all that much harder, but Jack’s presence still lingers.

(DCU Halloween Special 2009)

The ‘for someone’s approval’ here as he’s at his parents’ grave always stands out to me. Even though he doesn’t go all that deeply into his problems with Jack once he’s dead, I think this bit of it/idea does come up- that Tim feels like he continually had to be searching for his approval. I think there’s traces of that all the way back in Robin III in his fight with Jack about being sent boarding school to boarding school/feeling he’s only valued on the basis of accomplishment. I think this is probably as close to criticizing his dad as he really gets post-Jack’s death tbh. Even though he’s framing it in a ‘this is what i’m doing- looking for approval’ sort of way, I think it’s in part Tim being aware of the fact that the way his parents were with him made him feel the need to push so hard to try to earn it.

idk there’s… there’s a lot there to go into and I agree it’d have been nice to see it explored more on page. But I get why a lot of it wasn’t, because so much shit was happening non-stop for him there wasn’t really space to go into it all that deeply. Focusing just on the angst of the loss itself rather than the complex emotions that come from losing a parent you had a difficult relationship with is definitely… the easier thing to fit in when Tim’s also going through a ton of other losses too. (and then I mean, reboot happened and it became moot, and even tho the reboot stuff is now undone it’s like… been so long and it’s so unclear exactly how much is the same as before that the opportunity to explore it has kinda passed unless we get a good in-universe reason to establish why he’d be re-examining that stuff now)

[imjustdreamingig]

medieval times with the pevensie's

Heres a strange little headcanon/au/meta I'm not sure what they're called :

I had a thought, imagine if the Pevensie's story took place present day (as in the 2000's)

When the Pevensie's returned from their first trip to Narnia, they were miserable, confused and in bodies two sizes too small.

Their mother noticed something off about them when she went to pick them up at the train station when they returned from the country. Her children might look the same yes, but there was something different in the way they held themselves. The glint in their eyes were not ones of childish innocence but of ones that had seen horrors many have not even seen in their nightmares.

As the weeks passed, Helen began to notice that her children's odd behavior was probably not going away anytime soon. There was always a sad tilt to their smiles even when they assured her that everything was alright. Helen couldn't bring herself to mention that she did indeed notice the amount of worried and hurried whispers going around between the four, as she didn't want another lie told to her face. She would rather them come to her in their own time and not pressure them into telling her anything.

Helen noticed how her children never hung out with any of their friends anymore and that they rarely watched T.V. or used their phones. She constantly had to remind them that at least one of them, namely Peter, had to take a cellphone whenever the four of them went on walks which was quite odd because who ever heard of a teen not obsessed with their phones?

Another thing that struck Helen as odd was that it was always just the four of them on their walks. They invited no one else with them, that she knew of anyways, but they never mentioned anyone else once they returned.

After noticing her children's odd behavior, she decided to do something to treat them, to lift their spirits and maybe see a genuine smile on their faces for once. She saw on T.V. a commercial for this place called Medieval Times and thought that this would be a perfect place to take her children to. It seemed entertaining, exciting and an event that she thought would contain elements that would interest all four of her children.

The siblings, mainly Peter and Edmund, had suddenly taken an unusual interest in using fake swords they ordered off of Amazon and having sparring matches in the backyard whenever they thought Helen wasn't home. She would briefly catch a glimpse of them whenever she arrived early from work and was surprised to notice how good they were. Susan and Lucy would cheer them on from the sides and occasionally Lucy would join in the sparring, the fluidity of her movements causing another shock of surprise from her mother.

She then called the number displayed on the screen and since she called because of that specific ad, she got a decent discount on their tickets.

On Saturday morning, Helen awoke long before her alarm was set to ring. She went about her morning routine before waking up the children. Lucy was naturally an early riser so she got up with no problem which always baffled Edmund because who would willingly wake up early with no complaints? Which is why it was no surprise that Helen had to practically drag Edmund out of bed who kept groaning until Peter, who had woken up because of the amount of noise they were making told him to stop and to get ready.

Helen found it very strange that all of her children would listen attentively to whatever Peter said and would do whatever he asked them to with practically no hesitance, even Edmund who fought the most with Peter before leaving for the country. That had taken a lot to get used to, although she was glad that the level of fighting and shouting had diminished. She oddly kind of missed the noise.

Meanwhile, Susan was standing by the doorway having gotten up right after Peter and was watching the scene before her unfold. She was reminiscing the now bittersweet memories from back in Narnia when she herself had to drag Edmund out of bed whenever they had to have a particular earlier start to the day. She sighed and left the rest of her family to head back into her room to get ready, pushing back the memories of Narnia and focusing on choosing what outfit she was going to wear for the day.

About an hour had passed and everyone was set to go. The Pevensies piled into the minivan, because of course the Pevensie's had a mini van, with Peter in the passenger seat, Susan and Edmund in the next row and Lucy in the backseat. Although they had asked politely, she would not give the children any clues as to where they were going.

Helen slowly found herself getting used to the level of formality it seemed her children now acquired. It seemed she found herself getting used to a lot of changes in their behavior ever since the children returned from the country. She didn't notice the discreet nervous glances the siblings shared as they really didn't like not knowing where they were being taken, each of them recalling a specific occurrence back in Narnia with much disdain.

When they arrived and approached the main entrance of the building where the name Medieval Times was proudly displayed, the four siblings exchanged glances that to outsiders would've revealed nothing but gave the impression as though they were having entire conversations with just a few short looks. Helen noticed the sudden silence from her children and although she did not know why, she began to feel a little worried.

Once they had taken their seats in the front row so they were directly in front of the stadium and been told which team they were going to cheer for, Helens anxiousness grew when the children, even Lucy, declined the option to wear any of the plastic crowns they offered the crowd to show support for their given teams. She was sure she saw a look of mild disgust when Edmund took notice of what was clearly two fake swords crossed over each other and mounted on the wall on the way to their seats.

She didn't notice however, the slight tremble in Susan's hand when her gaze fell upon a bow with a quiver of arrows clearly made of plastic in the display case of the gift shop, or how Lucy went slightly pale when her eyes came across a small dagger made out of cheap metal with silver stones embedded into its hilt, or how Peter's eyes turned cold when he spotted an inaccurate imitation of what was supposed to be a medieval sword and shield displayed in a glass case right in the center of the room.

When the show finally began and the horses galloped out into the stadium with the 'knights' mounted on top of them, their team colors proudly displayed on the flags each of them held, she saw out of the corner of her eyes how Edmund who was sitting beside her, slowly placed his hand on top of Peter's who was gripping the arm of the chair so tightly his knuckles were going white. Susan, who was in between Peter and Lucy, wrapped her arms around Lucy's shoulders, but this action went unbeknownst to Helen as her line of sight was partially blocked.

The whole crowd was cheering and applauding their respective teams, laughter and screams filling the stadium, but there was no noise coming from any of the Pevensie siblings. They weren't even trying to pretend they were enjoying themselves, too caught up in certain memories during their times in a certain land. The wounds were still too fresh, it had only been a little less than a month since they'd returned. The pit of anxiousness in Helens stomach only grew with each passing moment.

Half an hour went by and still none of the siblings said a word, their steely eyes were firmly fixed on the events happening below them, a mostly stoic expression donning each of their faces. Helen's worry only grew and she was beginning to silently panic. She didn't understand what invisible force was holding her back, why she couldn't bring herself to ask her children what was wrong.

Maybe it was because when she glanced over at them she didn't see children, but for a brief moment a vision of grown men and women sitting straight backed, their heads held high with their chins raised ever so slightly. She had to blink several times because she was quite sure she saw a gleam of silver and gold coming from the top of Edmund and Peter's head, as if there were crowns perched on their heads a mere few seconds ago. She shook her head of the absurd thoughts filling it, blaming the illusions she'd just been presented on the lack of water she'd drank that day and turned her attention to the front once more.

When the actually fighting between the knights began, that's when things took a turn for the worse. As the knights were sparring and performed what looked like some rather complicated moves with their swords to the rest of the audience, Edmund beside her finally showed signs of life and leaned back into his seat. As he crossed his arms, he scoffed and rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how uncoordinated the wrist movement was and that their stance was atrocious. Helen was shocked. Since when did Edmund use words such as atrocious?

She then saw similar behavior from Peter although it was slightly more reserved, but one could still notice the hint of disapproval when he sighed and shook his head. Helen was even more shocked when Lucy actually booed at one point. She wasn't that loud but before she could say anything else, Susan leaned down and murmured something into Lucy's ear. At first Lucy looked offended but then a resigned look fell upon her face as she nodded. Even so, Helen was still surprised to see the hint of sadness that was present in Susan's eyes as she turned to face the front, this time able to see her arm once again wrapping around Lucy's shoulders and the placement of her other arm in the crook of Peter's elbow.

When the fourth pair of knights began to fight, Helen felt a charge in the air before anything happened. The temperature in the room had risen and those around the Pevensie's began to feel warm and sweaty. Suddenly, Peter leapt up from his chair and onto his feet. He had grown restless and had enough of watching inexperienced amateurs who had no idea how to handle a sword, pass off as though they were naturals in that specific art of combat with a certain air of superiority around them. Peter couldn't establish if it was actually there surrounding them or if his rage was causing him to see things.

Peter's patience snapped as he directed his harsh glare at the closest knights in front of him, all whilst maintaining a relatively calm look on his face which made him look that much more terrifying. With his arms clenched at his side, Peter spoke in a voice Helen had never heard coming out of the mouth of her son, laced with disgust and a mocking undertone. As Peter spoke she felt many things at once; curiosity, fear, and surprisingly shame as if though she was getting scolded by someone who caught her doing something against the rules.

The strangest thing however, was that she felt as if she was standing in the presence of someone with high authority, someone in a position of power that knew what they were doing, that addressed their company in a tone that made it clear that they were in charge. How she felt this way when staring up at her son with eyes wide, she does not know.

"By the mane," Peter said under his breath before a slight scowl graced his lips and a booming voice filled the air, "are you seriously acting as though you know what you're doing? With that footwork and those feebly attempted strikes you'll end up killing yourself before you even lay a blow on your oppone- Susan get off of m- Lucy do not encourage her, Ed what n-"

The knights turned to look at the source of whoever was shouting with a slightly affronted look on their faces as did a lot of people in the audience. They were shocked to see that it was merely a young boy who looked as though he had a lot more to say before being grabbed by what the knight assumed were his siblings or friends.

Peter had always been a composed man for the sake of keeping up appearances for his subjects in Narnia. Many of its inhabitants had learned to fear the rare outbursts of the High King's anger. When Peter snapped and let his anger loose, there was no going back. His anger was similar to a fire, at first a small flame yet still capable of burning you if you got too close until eventually, it grew into a monster filled with heat and rage, finally let free of its cage and seeking to destroy everything in its path. It became uncontrollable to the point that not even Lucy could manage to tame it automatically.

Ever since the Pevensie's stumbled out of Narnia, Peter's been a ticking time bomb, slowly counting down the seconds until he finally exploded. The tension in Peter's chest has been brewing, growing tighter with each passing day without a glimpse of a possibility of returning to Narnia, of going home.

With all the anger and the resentment Peter's been keeping away from prying eyes, his siblings are surprised and mildly impressed he's been able to keep a handle on his emotions until now. They all knew that Peter's pride and his role as High King would prevent him from answering truthfully if any of them had outright asked Peter if he needed to talk.

To make up for this but still looking for ways to support their eldest brother, Lucy made it her personal goal to make Peter laugh as much as possible at the many jokes she'd say and the joking banter she'd try to make him participate in. Susan would lace her arm through his at random points of the day, knowing that although it was a simple action, it was a way of responding to all the unspoken words between them but were ever so visible in the way Peter's eyes would occasionally appear bloodshot red whenever he sat down for breakfast. Edmund would come into Peter's room and sit down on his bed and talk about a plot of either a book he'd been reading, a movie he remembered watching, what he saw their neighbors doing in the morning, anything to distract Peter from the thoughts plaguing his mind.

Susan, Edmund and Lucy all knew deep down the moment they realized where their mothers surprise was taking place that this would be the final straw for Peter. They were both in some ways relieved that he would finally be able to release all the built up tension wound tightly in his chest but also nervous about its outcome.

Which is why when Peter suddenly stood up from his seat about to reprimand the so called 'knights', they sprung into action. They were expecting this and Peter's reaction didn't come to them as much of a surprise. They really couldn't blame Peter for this to be the deciding factor for his upcoming actions. Every move that was supposedly meant to imitate real sword fights of the past made the rest of the Pevensie's siblings grimace as well.

As they led him out into the hallway outside of the arena, Lucy had swung one of Peter's arms over her shoulders, her hand clutching his with the other wrapped around his waist. Susan grabbed his forearm and gently pulled him in the direction of the exit despite his protests. There was a reason both girls had the task of leading him out into the hallway, it was because they had a better chance of not being shoved aside and walking back down to the arena to continue his verbal assault on the knights quite frankly embarrassing display of a sword fight. If it had been Edmund leading him it might've been a different story.

Edmund was directly behind Peter, ready to take matters into his own hands if Peter did indeed end up trying to escape the holds of his sisters. Edmund knew Peter however, and knew his desperation would never get to that point. On the rare occasions Peter lost his composure in front of visiting dignitaries back in Narnia, all he needed was a gentle reminder from his siblings, a touch or a glance to remind him of his position. Unless he was in the battlefield, there no one who could stop Peter on his path to claim another victory for Narnia.

As the children led Peter outside they did not notice the pairs of eyes that followed them as they went, or realize that they had left their mother behind, still sitting in her seat with her mouth agape. Once she shook herself from her stupor, she hastily grabbed her belongings as well as the coat Lucy left behind and rushed to catch up with her children, leaving two very red faced knights openly staring at her as she left, not quite understanding what had just happened.

The people in the audience who did not take notice Peter's outburst started to wonder why the two knights had stopped their sparing and what made them do so? It was likely that the supervisors of the show noticed this too as a voice over the intercom announced they would be taking a short intermission and if all the knights would please make their way to backstage. They did although say to make their way into the castle to not ruin the medieval effect they were trying to push across.

When Helen finally caught up with her children the siblings were making their way to the car. She noticed Peter's shoulders were slightly slumped and that Susan was rubbing her hand across his back as they walked, Lucy's right hand grasped in Peter's left. Edmund was now walking in front of them and leading the way to the car. Helen didn't know wether to be furious at the display she had just witnessed her son put on or be worried about his well being.

As she approached them to where they were leaning on the car, her mouth opened to either scold Peter or console him, which one she would end up saying she did not know. Right when she was about to speak Edmund shot her a glance that made whatever words that had formed die in her throat. She closed her mouth and looked at her second youngest with an astonished expression on her face, wondering how a single look from her son made her quiet but more importantly, why she had done it without question?

She glanced at Edmund once more and noticed a stern look dominating his face. Once again a strange feeling washed over her and she couldn't help but read into his expression a little more than she should, the words 'royalty' and 'kings and queens' once again danced in her brain. Once again, she shook her head and reprimed herself of thinking those silly notions, unlocked the car and motioned for the kids to get in, confused but understanding that now wasn't the time to address the situation at hand.

No one spoke on the ride home. 10 minutes into the journey, Helen turned on the radio to hopefully ease the tension that stifled the small space. In all honesty, she turned it on to avoid any awkward moments between her and the children and to have something to distract her on the tedious journey home.

Lucy had offered to sit in the passenger seat and Helen didn't object. Lucy didn't dance or sing along to any of the songs on the radio as she usually did. Instead, she leaned her elbow on the window ledge, a small frown lacing her lips as her unmoving eyes took in the scenery. Edmund, Peter and Susan squished into the middle row with Peter in between them. There was no doubt that it was a tight fit and they must've not been very comfortable but no one seemed to mind the cramped space, their bodies having practically no air between them with their shoulders and legs pressed tightly together.

Susan had her hand placed delicately on Peters thigh as she too like Lucy, took in the scenery outside the window yet her eyes were unmoving. Edmund had his head leaning on Peters shoulder. The first time she had seen him do this gave Helen a startled shock but she had quickly gotten used to all of her children's now physical behavior with one other.

As Helen looked into the rearview mirror and took in the scene displayed before her she couldn't help a pang of hurt from developing inside her as she wondered not for the first time today and certainly not for the first time since she had picked up the children from the train station; "Are they even my children anymore, let alone children? What happened to them in the country that they refuse to talk to me about?"

When Helen pulled into the driveway of their house since it's not really home to the siblings anymore is it, that's when Peter finally decided to say something for the first time since leaving the venue. As they got out of the car the rest of the siblings headed inside with slight nod to Edmund that he would follow shortly. Before Helen made her way to the front door Peter pulled his mother in for a hug.

Helen was not a very tall woman so Peter didn't need to strain himself too much to give his mother a proper hug. Startled by the abrupt display of affection directed towards her, it took Helen a moment before she wrapped her arms around Peter as well. Peter then pulled back and apologized for his actions and for ruining his mothers surprise. He said he didn't mean for his temper to get out of control and to shout at those men who were only doing their jobs. He promised to make it up to his mother soon and that he would learn to better keep his emotions in check.

When Helen asked the inevitable question of why Peter had acted the way he did, his face paled slightly, guilt laden in his eyes. His gaze shifted towards the ground for a moment before they eventually met hers again, his gaze now unwavering as he promptly told her that it reminded him of something that he'd seen in the country, but not to worry as he had it all sorted. Helen later blamed it on a trick of light when once again a flash of a broken adult, not child, appeared before her in that moment.

It was only because Helen saw beneath the broken mask Peter was desperately trying to keep firmly in place that she sighed and said alright. She didn't exactly know the reason why Peter had such a pained expression in his eyes but nevertheless, she pulled him into another hug. Not for the first time Helen whispered in his ear that if he ever needed to talk to someone she was there, and not for the first time Peter chuckled and promised that he would. They both secretly knew it would never happen.

Helen knew that she wouldn't find out the sole reason as to why Peter had reacted in such a manner that day and as she climbed into bed that night, she realized she never will. She realized that ever since her children came back from the country there were bound to be more instances where her children's motives would never be fully revealed to her. Peter's expression out in the driveway was proof of it.

Helen took into account the sadness she noticed in Peter's eyes and the noticeable weight that pressed firmly on his shoulders which is why she wasn't terribly harsh on him or pushed him to reveal anything he clearly wasn't comfortable talking about with her, even though that realization hurt her very much. Pain, even if not understood by everyone around them, was still pain, and she was not going to cause her son any more of it.

That did not mean she was going to let him go unpunished however, Peter still acted out in a crude manner in public and directed it towards other people. She grounded him for a week with dishes duty for every meal and with no electronics, but something told her Peter didn't really mind having to go without an electronic device for that long as he already did so anyways.

Helen also made note of not planning any more huge surprise trips like to the now off limits Medieval Times unless she was absolutely certain it was a place her children would enjoy going to or they had straight up told her they'd like to go there in the first place. In fact, she decided that from now on surprise trips or any huge surprises for that matter, were to be put on pause until further notice which probably meant forever.

No one got much sleep that night and if she heard three pairs of footsteps heading towards Peter's room in the middle of the night and hushed whispers for the rest of it, Helen made no implications that she had noticed at all the next morning at breakfast.

#SHE IS DONE #FINALLY THIS TOOK AGES IM CRYING TEARS OF JOY #this was supposed to be a short blurb but it turned into a monster idk how that happened #narnia #narnia headcanons #the chronicles of narnia #the pevensies #the pevensie siblings #mordern au #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #peter pevensie #post narnia #tcon #narnia fic #king edmund the just #high king peter the magnificent #queen susan the gentle #queen lucy the valiant #post lww #prince caspian #voyage of the dawn treader #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #lww #pc #votdt #:navi writes

[vidavalor]

A ‘why Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts’ analysis...

This turned into a whole thing about not just the texts but the evolution of SamBucky in TFATWS so yeah, make a hot drink and get cozy if you want to read this as it’s a little on the wordy side...

So, what we know is that Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts ahead of TFATWS but *before* Sam decided to retire the shield. I’ve seen speculation on what event could have caused this and I think the fact that we aren’t entirely told it in so many words, plus some other clues from the show might lead us to one conclusion. Obviously, this is just what I see here and there are other ways to interpret it but some thoughts for anyone who feels like reading them... :)

The answer to why Bucky stopped responding to Sam’s texts is actually the shield, just not in the way that we think it is. Go back to Endgame and the scenes between Sam and Bucky. The amount of *feeling* there is already present and plentiful-- Bucky looks at Sam with naked love, right at him, and Sam touches Bucky so tenderly that it’s a bit heartbreaking. That little thumb swish on his shoulder at the funeral? That’s familiar and sweet and comes with intimacy born of the knowledge that Bucky is okay with him in his space. Between Sam knowing he has permission that others really don’t to touch Bucky (also add in how he’s a little jealous when Steve hugs Bucky) and between Bucky not hiding how he feels when he looks at Sam, we could speculate that there’s at least a working understanding between them happening by Endgame that they have feelings for one another. Now, hop back in time a little to see maybe what kind of understanding or what level of it they could potentially be at by Endgame...

If you go along with the idea that Sam found Bucky after The Winter Soldier and kept that a secret while he helped him to hide and that they built their whole banter-y rapport beginning then, then you also have to think that this is kind of a real slow burn romance happening. Sam is a sensitive, (semi-secretly) introverted guy who has been mourning the loss of a man who meant the world to him for years, mostly alone, atop trying to deal with his own trauma from witnessing that violent death and everything else he saw at war. He doesn’t open up easily and comes from a place of needing to seem in control of his emotions, even if he’s the first person to be there for someone else when they are struggling and is highly empathetic. Meanwhile, Bucky? 

Bucky’s a mess. His memories are coming back in fragments. He’s plagued by nightmares and PTSD from the decades he’s spent as an assassin and is still on the earlier end of his healing process. Not to mention that he can’t have much in the way of normalcy because he’s on the run and in hiding. Sam is a decent man who is also experienced, both personally and professionally, when it comes to trauma recovery and he is the last man on earth who would try to take advantage of Bucky so this relationship is a friendship at the early stages. It’s one that’s complicated by their mutual attraction that won’t stop growing but they aren’t really discussing it. They’re getting to know one another and discovering that they actually like one another, as much as they try to hide it (and joke that they don’t at all.) The mutual respect grows. 

This all continues until the plot results in Bucky not having to hide anymore and being able to get some help in gaining an edge over the Winter Soldier in Wakanda. This is especially true for Bucky because he might have been wildly attracted to Sam before this-- and a frustrating kind of attracted, a not-wanting-casual kind of attracted-- but he didn’t have any real hope in even thinking there could be a chance at this until Wakanda. He’d been afraid of not having enough control over his mind and somehow hurting Sam, even if he didn’t mean to. He’d been on the run, so not really a great life to offer the man you want to be with. By the time he gets to Wakanda, though, Bucky’s cautiously optimistic that even though everything always ends with a fight that maybe he could have some good things before the last one comes for him. Steve and Sam think they can get him a pardon and the Wakandans think they can help rid of him of being controlled by the trigger words and all of that does happen over the next few months for Bucky. For the first time in decades, he’s more fully his own person and can trust himself a bit more. He has gained more headspace and freedom and options and some calm. 

Meanwhile, Sam? The 5-6 months when Bucky was in cryofreeze in Wakanda while Shuri figured out how to help him? He doesn’t want to go there when it comes to how much he missed Bucky. He and Steve are on the run but T’Challa is an ally so they can get into Wakanda. Sam comes to visit Bucky and is overwhelmed by how grateful he is that the deprogramming worked and Bucky is finding some peace. He watches him smile and tend goats and farm and play games with the local kids when he visits and it’s odd, in a way-- kind of like their lives have flipped around. Bucky’s the one who has a place that grounds him and Sam’s the one on the run. But more unmooring for both of them now is that there isn’t the excuse of staying away from someone who might be too in the throes of mental health problems to adequately consent because Bucky is in a place where his personal agency keeps growing and he’s more edging away from victim and into survivor mode. He’s not “fine” but no one ever is, including Sam-- but the idea of the two of them is no longer as prohibitive as it was when they first met. Sam, for his part, is healing more over Riley through his developing relationship with Bucky than he wants to admit, even if it’s obviously still traumatic and painful. They’re good for one another and grow more affectionate around the snarky banter, becoming more comfortable with letting how they feel show more. 

They might get to a point of admitting that there is something between them and wanting to try for more but they’re like really, really cute about it in that they both keep trying to give one another almost too much space. Bucky knows that Sam has been through a lot and lost someone. He understands that it’s hard for him to trust and that he’s not great with casual and that, for reasons Bucky barely agrees with or understands, Sam sees him as someone he’d like to try being not casual with. Sam knows that Bucky has been through decades of trauma and that there is a really wide gap for trauma survivors between having sexual desire for someone and really feeling comfortable with the idea of having sex, let alone actually attempting that. He’s fine with going slow. Their touchiness with one another is an affirmation of all of this-- a way of saying that they’re there for each other without pressuring the other for more than they feel ready for but, at the same time, saying that they are very interested. As a result, they kind of run on this for awhile and probably don’t get much further than that because then a series of things start to get in the way of this potential romance on the cusp of these poor bastards finally getting to shag...

The first is that they reunite with Steve in Wakanda and fight Thanos for the first time which is all great but then they both get dusted right afterwards and disappear for the next five years. In a way, they’re lucky here with this because they both secretly think it’d be worse if only *one* of them had been Blipped. Would the other have found someone else? Would they still feel the same way after all that time? They’re afraid of those things and it’s another thing that shows them both how much they feel for one another. Instead, they went through the same thing and can go through the aftermath of that together as well. It’s more impactful for Sam because he’s the one with living family. He’s missed some of the early years of his nephews and he’s left Sarah on her own for five years. He leans on Bucky with the guilt of that and the two of them, in general, are starting to make some plans. Plans that involve one another. 

For the first time since they met, they’re both in a place to try their hand at a relationship with one another for real. Neither of them are in hiding or on the run. Bucky is pardoned and further along in his healing process. Sam has decided he feels safe enough and ready enough for this. They’re in love and it’s basically understood between them, even if they haven’t really said the words. They’re also in a place that is different from where we see them at the start of TFATWS and that’s because the shield hasn’t entered into their plans yet. 

In the post-battle/pre-Old Steve parts of Endgame, Sam and Bucky basically think they’re going to have different options when it comes to what they’re doing all day. They’re thinking of being together in terms of how they’re thinking they’ll both be Steve’s backup team in the field when Steve needs it. There’s vague talk of a garden because Bucky likes working outside and Sam wants Bucky to have all that calm like he had in Wakanda that he can handle. They’re talking about going to Delacroix at some point soon so Sam can visit with the family he’s been missing. Ya know, making plans like a married couple when they’re lucky if they’ve kissed yet, like the shy, snarky boys they are. Then, Steve... sorry but there’s no other way to put it this but Steve kind of f---s it all up. 

Steve tells Bucky that he’s planning to go back to the ‘40s to find Peggy and live a normal life. Bucky, drunk on hope of the secret of his own potential normal life for the first time in basically a century, turns down Steve’s offer to join him back in their past. Steve is surprised because Steve hearts the ‘40s and thinks Bucky must want a do-over of his life but Bucky reminds him quietly that he never was much of a man of his time and he always had an eye to the future. He’s interested in the prospect of living a life here in the modern world. Bucky might have also at least hinted at the idea (or just said) that maybe he also wants to stay because his own chance at love is here in 2023, not back in the 1940s. (If Steve hadn’t already picked up on this by this point.) Steve tells Bucky that he has to pass on the shield and he wants to give it to Sam. This is a massive crisis for Bucky because there’s suddenly no way that this can work out, in Bucky’s mind-- no way for him and Sam to work out, that is. So, why then does Bucky support this plan? 

Because he believes Sam is the right man to be Captain America. Because he believes in *Sam*, full-stop. He thinks Sam is the best man he’s met and the strongest. He feels this but it’s also reinforced by the fact that Steve-- Bucky’s best friend, who helped him even when he couldn’t help himself, and is a guy so good that Bucky tends to measure all men against him-- also feels this way about Sam. It’s validation for Bucky on his own feelings towards Sam and Bucky is a believer in the greater good-- and one who feels guilty for the pain he’s caused as The Winter Soldier atop that. He’s all in when it comes to supporting the idea that Sam should be the one to pick up the mantle to save the world because the world deserves Sam’s awesome goodness and will be a better place for it. As Bucky will later tell Sam in TFATWS, he and Steve weren’t thinking in terms of how Sam might feel about being handed this responsibility and Bucky acknowledges that they really didn’t think this through from all the angles necessary but it’s obvious their hearts were in a good place with it. Their intention was to honor Sam as a man worthy of something they both see as a mantle that can only be carried by men who are, well, the anti-John Walkers of the universe, and they were trying to tell Sam that they saw him as the best of men, even if they didn’t exactly win at considering it from Sam’s point of view. 

What happens to Sam and Bucky’s relationship as a result of Sam getting the shield, though, happens when Bucky considers the fact that Sam having it means that he can’t see a way that their relationship will work. It was one thing when he and Sam were making quiet plans, planning to have some calm and privacy with one another, but now Sam is going to be *Captain America*. He’s going to go from lower level celebrity that a lot of people don’t even know exists to the guy who gets coverage on Good Morning, America. Bucky isn’t completely blind to race issues, either, as he knows that Sam would be the first publicly-known Black Captain America and that would come with a different kind of scrutiny. He knows how private Sam is as a person and how hard this will be, if Sam chooses to take on the shield. Bucky thinks the world might barely-- barely-- be ready to deal with a Black Captain America but he’s not naive to the world of the media. He was by Steve’s side for most of WW2 and saw how the role of Captain America is symbolic as much as mission-based. It’s about the image of the role. Bucky thinks there is no way on earth that Sam can be Captain America *and* in a relationship with Bucky. 

The other side of the catch-22 is that if Sam decides *not* to take up the shield-- and he’s hinted to Bucky that he might not, he hasn’t decided yet-- then suddenly, Bucky is wondering if maybe he misjudged Sam. He sees Sam as a man who doesn’t back down from a fight, someone strong who defends others and stands up for what is right and to Bucky, that is what Captain America does and what the allies of Captain America do. He’s no stranger to feeling conflicted over how it is supporting a country that doesn’t value everyone equally-- Bucky is not straight and fought for an Army and a country that would have thrown him in prison for being caught being himself and still believes in trying to make that military and that country live up to the higher ideals it espouses. (Undoubtedly, something Sam values about Bucky is Bucky’s ability to comprehend feeling like an outsider. It’s a major difference from Steve, who might have not felt like he fit the ideal man of the WW2 era but whose response to that was to get himself pumped up with experimental drugs so he *could*... as opposed to Bucky, who for sure has conflict over it, probably a lot more when he was younger, but is someone who sees that the rules of society aren’t always something to try to live up to. Steve was in allies to try to prove he was as tough as guys who fit a type more valued by society. Bucky was in allies to protect Steve from himself sometimes... and other times, to get some in a flagrant f--- you to the same societal values. Sam has empathy for Steve but is partial to Bucky’s attitude towards things.) 

The ironic thing about Bucky’s take on the shield and Sam is that for *Sam*, one of the many, many reasons why he was reluctant to take up the shield was probably Bucky himself. Sam obviously has a lot of very valid reasons for not being sure about taking up the shield stemming from being a Black man in America and one who has also seen his share of darkness during war, which are looked at during TFATWS. Additionally, I think there are other reasons he hesitated-- one is that he is a very private person who doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for the more b.s. parts of what the mantle would entail and the other is that he has been steadily falling in love with another person who deserves privacy and freedoms that he’s been denied and he’s not sure he wants to try this thing with Bucky under a spotlight. They weren’t completely at a stage of having actual, involved conversations about this at that point but I definitely think it was (and still is) a concern for Sam. 

So, the point is that once Steve gives Sam the shield, Bucky begins to no longer see a path forward for him and Sam. He sees them being friends-- Steve’s mutual friends who look in on one another and who care. If Sam wants him there to back him up when he’s Captain America, Bucky would do that. He wants to keep Sam safe but Sam also has Torres and the Air Force and Bucky really... is not looking forward to the rest of his life going from this hopeful place of potential mutual love and adventures in the modern world to... the rest of his life mooning after another Captain America whose role in the world keeps him from loving him. Bucky, whose experience with close relationships with men and with Captain America is Steve Rogers, thinks that this is going to end just like that and it’s the lesser explored aspect of trauma for him. Everyone is all over his Winter Soldier issues in his world, fewer people notice that he’s also a man with a lot of love to give who has not really ever had someone look at him like they really notice that... ya know, until Sam. Until the man he’s just lost to the shield which, coincidentally, is the closest thing Bucky still has left that feels like family and home. Because yeesh, the world is pretty cruel to this guy sometimes...

So, they’ve split up for a bit under the guise of working out their different things to get their new lives as non-fugitives going. Bucky has to go to government-dated therapy and heads to Brooklyn in an effort to feel like he’s got some ground under his feet by going to a place he once called home. Sam goes to Delacroix to see Sarah and the boys. They’re both floundering around a bit without the other, making progress in some ways and not at all in others. Sam is in love and wants to give Bucky whatever space he needs to feel in control of himself and get the help he needs and he’s happy that he is-- they’re friends before anything else-- so he still messages him but the messages begin to change a little, due to both of them. Maybe calling a lot turns into texts and maybe the texts get a little less frequent as Bucky responds a little less. 

All of this is self-fulfilling prophecy: Bucky is trying to push Sam away because he doesn’t think he can have Sam and he’s got enough suffering going on to deal with, as far as he’s concerned. He’s still strong enough that he’s trying to live a life even without Sam or to figure out what that would look like-- what he needs to do to get to that point, even if he’s running in place with it a little. He even tries to get over Sam a bit, dips his toes into the online dating pool. (He never says to Leah that he actually went out on any dates, just that he seemed to get caught up at the browsing stage. He could have but it’s pretty clear that he didn’t get anywhere of any real note with them.) He can’t help but compare all of them to Sam and he really doesn’t want (even if he thinks he might want for a bit) something casual and ultimately meaningless. He’s probably considering the idea of sleeping with someone just to sleep with someone, which is a fairly common thing for a lot of people who have been victims of sexual violence-- and the show basically says this in the Shelby scene-- to try. Ultimately, though, Bucky seems to have bailed at the idea because what he really wants is the trust and intimacy he has built with Sam. 

Bucky eventually stops responding to Sam’s texts entirely because he doesn’t know how to handle them. Sam is consistently kind towards him and respectful of the fact that he needs space and it’s driving Bucky mad-- all this sweetness from this man he can’t have and isn’t sure he deserves anyway. Then, he sees Sam retire the shield and it feels like an ending, maybe one that Bucky pushed into being unwillingly by not responding to the texts and so not knowing where Sam was with his decisions and not being there to help him. Bucky isn’t meaning to be self-involved so much as he’s so caught up in his trauma and trying to get through it that he sometimes can’t see past the pain he’s in enough to see Sam’s own. Sam, for his part, sometimes fails to consider just how afraid Bucky is of letting himself trust someone again and at the idea of being happy and just assumes space and time will be enough but they aren’t. 

This is also why they fall back into a rhythm pretty easily when they meet up again in Episode 2. While it probably hurt that Bucky stopped responding to his texts, Sam isn’t seeing it as a deal breaker. He’s back flirting with Bucky from the get-go and Bucky is following him to protect him. John Walker is an excuse that they have now-- a Captain America mutual problem to solve that can replace the ‘who are we now without Steve here and with this shield issue’ problems between them. The way they touch one another and seek to protect one another-- and show off for one another a bit-- is reassurance. Bucky wants to prove he’ll be there for Sam after not answering the texts so he jumps out of a plane to show he’s committed to the mission-- and to Sam-- by showing he’s working on getting over his fears and *can* get over some of them or at least deal with them. Sam is more important than his fear of heights. Bucky is more important to Sam than Sam’s fear of another Riley moment and as Riley moment of losing a partner mixes with Bucky’s trauma of the train car, Sam then steps up and saves Bucky from the side of the truck-- proving he can try to get over his own trauma and also be there for Bucky in return. 

And, in the midst of it, is all the sexual tension between these two guys who have wanted to go to bed together for years now but stupid battles and trauma and Captain Americas kept getting in the way. Sam admits he likes Bucky’s stealthy cat moves and is floored and encouraged when Bucky flirts back. They’re all over one another in the grass-- Bucky sure to land so that he’s between Sam’s legs and Sam just grabbing his jacket lapels to keep him close. It’s a blatant invitation for Bucky to top him anytime, a little tongue-in-cheek, barely hidden under their whole begrudging one another’s presence vibe as even when Bucky grumbles and Sam tosses him off (after having pulled him closer by his jacket), they both know the truth under it. Sam reaches over to touch Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky is dazed from the pleasure of being so close to Sam, who not only just saved him and pulled him to him without a thought but who did so *at the expense of the mission*. Sam continuously proves throughout TFATWS that Bucky is of a higher priority to him than the actual mission is. He almost blows their undercover operation in Madripoor by coming close to breaking his cover to make sure that Bucky was okay and he lets the Flag Smashers escape when he saves Bucky from the truck. He very much wants Bucky to notice that this is how he feels-- that whether or not he winds up trying to take the shield back from Walker, whether or not he winds up Captain America, how he feels about Bucky isn’t dependent upon their roles as Steve’s mutual friends-- that they themselves have something independent of that and Sam wants as much of it as Bucky wants to take. 

The whole cyborg wheels turning scene on the walk after the field is Sam wanting to talk more about it, even in the midst of the mission. Bucky’s quiet response of “it’s processing” when asked by a (nervous so teasing) Sam what his mind is thinking is about them, about what Sam confessed without words by saving Bucky from the truck. Bucky is telling Sam he understands what Sam is saying and is overwhelmed and Sam is already starting to let him mull it over when Walker and Lemar pull up in the truck and it has to be tabled discussion for awhile.

What is holding Bucky back, even if he is still flirting, still protective of Sam, is that he’s still never had to fully test himself in terms of getting over his trauma enough to really pursue something new in his life. He was about to in Endgame-- he felt ready to try to take this shot with Sam-- but that was before the shield and Steve’s plan entered the picture. Alone in New York to do nothing but try to deal with his past, he was having trouble seeing a future that looked appealing and regressed pretty badly in his trauma recovery to a point of lots of nightmares and not really great self-care. When he reconnects with Sam in Ep 2 and sees that he hasn’t really been successful in pushing Sam away-- that Sam cares that much, is interested that much-- it gives Bucky a boost to try to see if maybe he can find a way forward. Madripoor is the big test he gives himself.

In Madripoor, Bucky gets something very important for his recovery, which is a situation that allows him to own his own experiences. This is actually along the same lines of his attempts at online dating earlier in the series, even though it looks to be totally different-- the idea is that Bucky needs to prove to himself, in essence, that he’s in control of himself and have experiences where he’s in control of what happens. When Bucky is forced to play The Winter Soldier it’s not particularly fun for him and he’s bothered by it a lot-- but he emerges from it because he was able to do it. He was in control of himself throughout it. Sam being there absolutely helped, even if part of Bucky doesn’t want him to be because there’s a part of him that’s still ashamed of who he had become, even if he’s slowly accepting that it wasn’t really entirely his fault. (The amends thing shows he still thinks it is but not entirely & how he ultimately handles it shows he’s getting better at accepting he’s not to blame.) 

Madripoor also brings about another challenge in the Selby scene, when Zemo makes it clear that The Winter Soldier was used for more than missions in the past and this happens in front of Sam. I actually don’t think that this was the first time Sam had this thought-- I saw him looking away from Bucky playing that role undercover as not just because he was pained at the reminder of this but because he wanted to try to give Bucky some space with it, some privacy, because this was another violation and Sam didn’t want to make it worse. Sam absolutely knows that Bucky faced different kinds of violence when he was tortured, even if it could go either way as to whether or not they’ve ever really talked much about it. Sam though continually keeps trying to show Bucky that underscoring their sexual tension there is Sam trying to convey that not only does he want to take things slow, he has no qualms with the idea of Bucky having whatever sense of control he needs to feel comfortable. 

Telling Bucky he likes the whole “White Panther” vibe is a way of telling Bucky that he can see *him* there, even when he’s doing things that Sam had previously seen him do as The Winter Soldier-- it’s showing he knows the difference and he thinks Bucky looks plenty hot being all stealthy as himself. Later, in the grass, Sam just as easily could have used his momentum to roll them just a little more and landed on top of Bucky in the grass but he didn’t-- he let Bucky wind up on top and just pulled him closer, saying without saying that he’s not only fine with this in bed because he gets that Bucky needs this but because he just straight up *likes* this. He wants the White Wolf to come at him a bit and he’s showing Bucky that in the same moments that he’s also just scooped Bucky up from a flashback to one of the worst moments of his life and took him safely to a peaceful field of flowers like... he’s offering up some romance here, ya know? It’s heart eyes as a series of actions.

Then, there’s the therapy scene. Both of them are breaking a little with patience, snapping a bit, feeling brittle and like the other one isn’t totally seeing them. *Even in the midst of that*, they’re also still sending out the same messages. The way they look at one another before they let the soul gazing de-evolve into a staring contest to cover up the real emotion there. The way that they both scoot closer in the chairs without any real direction and then Bucky thinks he’s already gotten a bit scandalously close with the bumping knees, is nervous about pushing it any further and especially in front of the therapist he’s not entirely honest about anything with and who works for the government and there’s Sam again with his ‘you know what? I don’t even care about any of this except for you’ attitude. It’s Sam who takes Bucky’s chair and pulls him over closer and slips his thigh between Bucky’s legs and when Bucky splutters in surprise that it’s “a little close”, Sam’s patience is a little thin and he does snap “well, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” because he’s been trying. really. hard. to tell Bucky. that he just wants to be with him. regardless of all the other captain america or battling big threes or whatever nonsense the world is throwing at them now. Maybe the most telling part here is how he lets his fingers run lightly over Bucky’s thigh during this. It’s both very tender/sweet and very sexy at once-- a message that says okay, hey, maybe you didn’t totally go for the field or maybe it’s not all you want. Maybe sometimes you want me to be the one more in control and you’re terrified of that, understandably. Well, here’s how it’d be: see this whole thigh thing? It’s a nod towards basically mutually-controlled sex. It’s a way of saying what I also like, what I also want, if you want it, too, is to just be with you as we are-- a couple of pretty equally matched guys just having fun, no real power games, no need to define who’s topping or bottoming or any of this. That brush of Bucky’s thigh? It’s a reminder. It’s saying whatever you want, however you want it, this is how you’re going to get treated by me: not like you’re fragile but like you’re *precious*. It’s saying I don’t want to hurt you, I want to love you but you have to trust me enough to let me and I don’t know what else to do to prove that to you. 

Maybe the sweetest part is outside after the session, when Sam goes back to their default barbing and quips that he feels better when he clearly does not and Bucky, devastated that he is making this hard for Sam and didn’t see how much he was hurting him, just says “I feel awful”. It’s basically an apology and it’s also saying that he’s getting the messages that Sam has been putting out. 

So, it’s something that by the time Bucky gets through a series of challenges to himself in Madripoor-- playing the Winter Soldier and having his history of being raped brought up in front of Sam-- he gets through the biggest one yet, courtesy of John Walker, when he is electrocuted. Bucky had been programmed to respond and echoes of that would have still been happening to him when he woke up. We can see actually the flashbacks almost happening in front of his eyes when he gives Sam the shield at the end of the scene. He fought it all, every step of the way, for Sam. When he woke up, he pushed through memories of every painful moment of it from before and the pain of the electrocution he was really feeling in that moment to get up and remember where he was, to stay in the moment and present through a PTSD flashback and save Sam’s life in the process. He leaves the shield with Sam and goes outside without a word but Sam sees it all on his face-- he knows just how much that took out of Bucky and that Bucky forced himself to get through it not just for his own healing process but to protect Sam. It’s an answer, one Bucky has been giving all along, to Sam’s silent questions. Every time Bucky protects him, he is saying to Sam that he wants to be with him and wants to work towards figuring that out. 

Bucky still isn’t over the flashback by the time he gets to the scene with Sam and Torres and Torres-- a nice, normal, sweet guy with a crush on Sam whom Bucky privately thinks would be a better match for Sam and so is jealous of him-- triggers some annoyance just with his presence there. He can’t talk to Sam alone with Torres there. There’s still work to be done. He’s got to clean up the Zemo mess. By the time he is not killing Zemo in Slovakia-- exhibiting control over himself, making decisions about how he will react that he can be proud of, all in the face of a past torturer and abuser of his-- Bucky is at a new stage of free. He feels ready or almost ready, anyway. He wants to show Sam that he wants to try. Maybe this isn’t all over yet after all, no matter what Sam decides to do about the shield, even if Bucky thinks he ultimately will decide to take it up. 

It’s clear that by this point, Bucky is going to support whatever Sam chooses to do about it but what’s also equally clear is that Bucky is hearing Sam when Sam has been sending messages that he wants to be with Bucky no matter what happens with the shield. He sees them before anything else and no one has ever loved Bucky this much and for once, he’s in love with someone who can love him back and does love him back. He’s free from the worst of his trauma, free from the trigger words, free from the sense that his past-- hydra, steve, any and all of it-- have to define him going forward. He’s free and ready and in love and decides to go to Delacroix and show Sam that he has noticed a thing or two about what *Sam* might need as well. 

Maybe Sam needs a man who is strong, as strong as Bucky is-- physically and emotionally-- who can be there to listen or even just be silently companionable with him. Maybe Sam’s been alone for a long time and isn’t used to having someone close enough to notice or care about or be able to help with his problems. Maybe Sam is the kind who gets overwhelmed trying to help everyone around him and gets anxious about failing or when he fails and needs someone there to help get him over the last steps of it. Maybe he’s a good surrogate dad but it overwhelms him at times and he needs someone else to support him and help care for the boys. Maybe he doesn’t always hear what Sarah is trying to tell him or put her in the driver’s seat with decisions so it helps that Bucky can and does. 

Maybe it’s been a long time since someone romanced Sam Wilson and maybe they never got it right or as right as it could be and maybe it just so happens that Bucky Barnes knows a thing or two about romancing. Maybe no one’s ever charmed his friends and family to win him over or showed up unannounced with an extravagant and intimate gift (and note that it’s really a leap from the Bucky that can’t bear to look at a shirtless Sam because he’s so attracted to him in Madripoor to showing up with a custom-made super suit)... especially not one he needed right in the moment, that showed how he was seen by someone who loved him, just when Sam needed to see himself that way, too. Maybe no one’s ever liked Sam’s hometown as much as he has, maybe Sam has never felt more at home than when Bucky is now there, too, saying with every action and look that he loves him-- something else that maybe Sam’s never had like this before. Bucky knows he’s not the only one who can get nervous. He sends out some messages of his own. His hands keep going to Sam’s waist. It’s flirty with the broken pipe but it’s also intimate inside the boat in the morning scene-- Bucky almost does it automatically and Sam sees it, sees his hands move as he’s looking down at the moment when Bucky pulls back and moves out of Sam’s space. He lets Sam see that, even if he doesn’t actually do it as they aren’t quite there yet. He is intentionally showing Sam that Sam isn’t the only one who notices needs and that Bucky sees in Sam a want for that quiet intimacy. He sees how badly Sam needs to be held close and just loved into oblivion and Bucky is happy to oblige. It makes Sam nervous, being that seen, but he also really likes it. He has his own fears the way that Bucky does but they dance towards one another. There’s a dance to these things, as Bucky says, and he and Sam have been engaged in that dance their whole story and especially in TFATWS. 

By the time we get to melting ice cream cake and a stage of public hugging, we’re seeing them having finally gotten to a place where they can allow themselves to be with one another and that’s really the implications of the end scene. It could go either way as to whether or not they actually have sex after Sam’s first night as Captain America in New York or whether it’s after the last scene in the finale but the way they look at one another on the docks before they walk off together is with an indication that they’re on the same page now and they’re becoming physically more intimate. Bucky taps Sam’s shoulder when he approaches and Sam is there, still with the party lingering in the background, needing a moment of quiet but Bucky is welcome in that quiet and knows it. Sam likes him checking up on him. The shoulder tap is a nod towards their multitude of shoulder touches before and Sam turns, their expressions acknowledge their history of doing that to show affection and when they pull away to leave, Sam’s returning touch moves from Bucky’s shoulder-- further up to start with and then over more-- to the back of his neck, a traditionally much more intimate touch and more overtly in line with people who are sleeping together (or interested in doing so) than not. It’s not the first time, either, as Bucky seems comfortable with it and they walk off together as the sun sets, indicating that they’re going to spend the night together. Sam’s expression when they leave the dock is a happy kind of smug, like he knows he’s about to have some serious fun and not from playing penuckle. Bucky’s smile when there with him at the docks is happy and relaxed and comfortable. Put together, they’ve either started sleeping together or are about to and feel good about it. The nervousness they had around one another has evaporated. Consider Sam on the boat when Bucky gets close to holding his hips to Sam on the docks at the end of Episode 6-- it’s a higher degree of confidence in his ability to handle being this close to someone he cares so much about. The same is true for Bucky. 

But, yeah, 800 paragraphs later... Bucky stopped answering Sam’s texts for, among other reasons, out of pain over what he felt was the shield-induced reasons they couldn’t try any longer to be together and couldn’t stand not being able to be around him so he cut off communication to try to move on. Also? For what it’s worth? Had there been a specific incident that triggered Bucky to stop texting Sam, they could have shown us that flashback if it wasn’t gayer than gay. We got a Wakanda flashback. They could have shown us the moment Sam and Bucky stopped talking. They didn’t. So it was for romance-related reasons. 

#sambucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #the falcon #the winter soldier #the white wolf

[atlafan]

I’m Having Your Baby - Part 2

a/n: professor!Harry one shot! if someone could tell me why I’m a SLUT for professor!Harry that would be great. 9K of angst, some smut and fluff. not proofread. Thank you all for the overwhelming support of the first part, I couldn’t believe how much everyone liked it! The story won’t be continuing from her, and I didn’t want to continue it all, but I got so many kind words I didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging. I hope you all like it as much as the first part! 

Read I’m Having Your Baby Part 1 here. 

Needless to say, things got very awkward around the house between the two of you after your little romp. It felt amazing, it was so nice to just have someone tough you…but you felt guilty. You used him. He felt guilty too. He knew you were vulnerable and maybe not thinking straight.

“I said yes to a question I should have said no to.”

Is all you said to him before getting out of his bed, and going back to your own. It was impulsive and stupid, and the two of you knew it. He wanted you to answer his more important question, but you couldn’t wrack your head around it. Did you want to be his girlfriend again? Did he truly mean he wanted you again, and not just because you were carrying his child? It was too much to think about, so you didn’t.

You barely spoke over the next few days, or than some good mornings or how’d you sleeps, and the car rides were absolutely silent. During your lunch break on Monday, you decide to call Nora, and tell her what happened. Maybe she could snap you out of whatever it was going through your mind.

“I know you have pregnancy brain and all, but are you fucking stupid?”

“Nora…” You sigh.

“I mean, buy a fucking dildo if you need something up in there!”

“It wasn’t about that! No one had even touched me since the last time he and I had sex, I need to be touched by someone other than myself. You know what’s aggravating? I was supposed to have a date the day I found out I was pregnant. Of course I cancelled it, but sometimes I wish I hadn’t. I mean, people date pregnant people right?”

“Oh please, that would’ve gotten complicated and you know it. How have things been at home?”

“Silent…he can barely look at me. I think he feel used.”

“Good, shoe is on the other foot for a change.” She pauses for a moment. “So you haven’t even talked about it?”

“He tried to after…he basically told me he wanted us to be together again, and I told him we wouldn’t even be talking if it weren’t for the baby, and he said he didn’t believe that. Like he was so confident we would have found our way back to each other again.”

“Horse shit.”

“I know, and then he asked me what he could do to prove that he’s serious, and I got up and left the room.”

“Good! Don’t give into him. You’re living with him out of security and necessity. How was it?”

“How was what?”

“The sex?”

“God, it was incredible! He remembered exactly what I liked, and the familiarity just made everything so much intense. I’d do it again if he didn’t think it meant something.”

“That’s just your hormones talking.”

“Yeah, well, they’re screaming at me now. I want it all the time, and now that I’ve had it again I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Buy a dildo, watch some porn, and stay in your own room.”

//

You had another bad dream, a nightmare really. You woke up drenched in sweat, and you were horrified at the things your brain was coming up with. You sit up and start crying. It was still early in the evening, it was only around 9:30PM. You had started going to bed earlier since the incident. Harry was just getting upstairs when he heard you. He sighs and goes further down the hall, and taps on your door.

“Y/N?” He opens it slightly and his face falls when he sees your hands covering yours.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He says softly, inching further into the room. “What happened?”

“I had a bad dream.” You whisper. You feel his weight dip the bed, and you look over at him.

“What was it this time?”

“I…I gave birth prematurely, like now, and I was all alone. No one was there with me other than the doctor, and it wasn’t even my doctor. Then they handed me this thing and I could just feel it’s heartbeat, and it died right there in my hand, Harry.”

“Oh, honey…”

He scoops you up and holds you in his arms, rocking you back and forth as you cry into him. He ribs your back and whispers that everything’s going to be alright. He kisses your hairline over and over to soothe you, and you hate yourself because it works.

“Would you…” You look up at him. “I mean, would it be too much to ask for you to stay in here with me tonight? I’m afraid to even close my eyes again. It just felt so real.”

“Of course. Let me just go do my thing and I’ll be right back, okay?” You nod and watch him get up to leave. He’s back in a few minutes in his bed clothes, and he gets under the covers with you. You both lay on your backs staring at the ceiling. You look over at him. “Harry…I’m really sorry about a few days ago.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No…we should talk about it.”

“What’s there to talk about?” He looks at you. “You obviously regretted it, and then I opened my big mouth and freaked you out even more.” He rolls onto his side and places his hand on your lower stomach. “I don’t wanna do or say anything that’s gonna stress you out, that’s why I haven’t said much in the last few days.”

“I don’t regret it, fuck, I needed it.” You place your hand over his. “But it can’t happen again, that’s not why I’m here, you know?”

“I know.” He closes his eyes and looks at you again. “You wouldn’t even be talkin’ to me if you weren’t pregnant.” And just like that, he flipped the script. Why did you suddenly feel guilty?

“We talk.”

“Only if it’s work related…through email…that day you called me, even if it was just through the office phone, I think my heart leapt out of my chest. I thought maybe you were callin’ me because you missed me.” You scoff at him.

“You think I would’ve be the one to come crawling back?”

“Maybe not crawling…” He smirks. “I don’t know what I thought. Maybe if you came to me first I could just beg you to take me back.”

“Harry, you were already fucking someone else, I wouldn’t have been coming to get back together with you, and certainly not in the middle of the day at school.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you knew about Kelly. It wasn’t anything serious, she was just a distraction.”

“That’s an awful thing to say.”

“I know. I’ve come to realize that maybe I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was. Here I am, this professor that students fight for seats in my class for, and I can’t even be a decent fucking person to the one person that mattered to me.”

“Your book smart, not street smart.” You laugh. “You’ve always been better when it comes to work things. You’re cute Harry, but you’re also this very awkward guy. Charming when you need to be, maybe even suave, but one on one, you’re a goofball.”

“And you always set me straight, and called me out, even when we were just friends.”

“I was so shocked that day you asked me out, I nearly choked on my lunch. You were so blunt.”

“I was relieved when it didn’t take much convincing for you to say yes. That was a fun first date, wasn’t it?”

“Mm, you took me to that bar and we danced practically the whole night.”

“And you said the entire night I wasn’t to come inside with you because you knew what would happen if I did.”

“And you said don’t pretend like you’re a good girl all of a sudden.” You giggle. “That shook me to my core, I’m not gonna lie.”

“I know it did, that’s why you brought me inside your place that night, and you showed me how good you can be.” He smirks again.

“Alright, that’s enough.” You take his hand away from your stomach. “We don’t need to go down memory lane right now.”

“Do you think…I mean, I get it, you don’t want me. I suppose I wouldn’t want me either with how awful I was to you…but, we were friends once. Couldn’t we be friends again? We’ve been civil sure, but we’re not friends right now.”

“I think being friends could work. I think that’s what hurt the most when it ended, I felt like I lost my best friend.”

“Nora’s your best friend.”

“Nora’s my best girlfriend, but you…” You reach up and cup his cheek, and he leans into your touch. “I don’t know, I think that’s why my heart was so broken.” You take your hand away. “Like, it killed me that there were things I wanted to tell you first over anyone else.”

“The same thing happened to me, I think that’s why I got involved with Kelly…she was just there, you know?”

“Mhm.” You roll your eyes. “Let’s go to sleep now, yeah?”

“Okay.” He leans in and kisses your forehead before fully turning onto his other side. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

He always did that when you were together. He’d kiss your forehead and turn over. It was his signal that he wanted to be the little spoon. The only comfortable position was on your back, and you weren’t quite sure if he realized what he was doing. He did just like sleeping on that side, also. You try to shake everything from your mind, and go back to sleep.

//

“Hi Sally.” Harry smiles at your admin when he comes into your office.

“Oh, hi Harry! How are you?”

“I’m great, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you.” She smiles. She looks at the large brown paper bag in his hand. “That smells good.”

“Surprising Y/N with a special lunch today.”

“Ohhh, how lucky is she, hm?” She looks over at your closed office door. “She’s just finishing up with her 11:30.”

“Alright.”

Your door opens and a young man leaves. He smiles and nods at Sally before he exits. Sally gets up to go to your office.

“Y/N?”

“I can’t wait for some of these kids to move on to their advisors for next year. Kid gave me a fucking headache.” You sigh. “These back to backs are gonna be the death of me, Sally.”

“Well, I think I know of something that’ll take your mind right off it. Harry’s here with lunch, and it smells greasy.”

“Oh? That’s surprising. He can come on in.”

She nods and lets him know he’s free to go in. He comes in and closes the door, taking a seat in one of your spare chairs.

“This is nice.” You smile.

“Thought we could use a break from the grille. I stepped out quick and went to Burger King. I know you prefer McDonald’s, but Burger King has the impossible meat. S’not much better for you, but I’ve had it a couple times and it’s a nice treat. Got them without mayo, and got you extra pickles on yours.” He reaches into the bag and hands it to you.

“Thank you! It smells so good. I really didn’t want my salad anyways.” He looks at your water bottle and smiles.

“You’re even ahead on your water, good girl.” He says biting into his burger. You can’t help but giggle.

“That’s the worst inside joke there is.”

“Come on, you love it.” He smirks. He watches you take a bite of the burger and you moan. “Good, right?”

“It really tastes like meat! Did you happen to get fries too?”

“Nope, I opted for apple slices.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“The fries there aren’t even that good.”

“You should’ve gone to McDonald’s and gotten their fries, now that would’ve been thinking.”

“Mm, right, and then your doctor would’ve killed me for cloggin’ your arteries.”

“It’s just potato.”

“Fried and greasy potato.” He shakes his head. “I’ll tell you what though, I’ll chop up some of the potatoes we have at home and roast them for you, just how you like.”

“Fair enough. Hand me the apples.” You had scarfed down the burger quickly. He reaches into the bag and hands you the slices.

“Wanna go for a quick walk? You should get outta your office while you can. S’a nice day out too.”

“Sure.” You shrug. “I can’t wait to go to the doctor next week, we’ll be able to know the sex of the baby.”

“I’m really excited.”

You both head out and start your walk. Harry kept a slow pace for you, he didn’t want you getting too tired that you couldn’t do your job later.

“I’m gonna have to go shopping this weekend I think, my clothes are starting to get really tight.” You groan.

Harry had noticed your clothes getting tight, but they were tight in all the right ways. Your breasts and ass were fuller, and he often couldn’t help himself from looking. He thought you got more beautiful as each day passed, and there was something about whenever he’d look at your bump that would drive him a little crazy. It was something about knowing that he did this to you, that no one else really had you.

“We could go to that maternity store at the mall. Could be a good excuse to also start putting a registry together for your baby shower. My mum wants to be us the crib, she’s insisting on it.”

“Good idea, and my mom wants to buy me this like state of the art breast pump.”

“So she’s come around a bit?”

“Yeah, she has.” You smile. “Nora’s gonna be putting the shower together for me, so that takes some of the stress away, and they wanna do one for me at work as well.”

“So it’s settled, we’ll do some shopping this weekend.”

“Have you had a chance to see if there are any three bedroom condos in the complex?”

“Not yet, love. I’ve been busy grading and advising too. Soon though. I’ll have time to look into things once the semester is over.”

“Must be nice to have summers off.” You huff.

“They should just let you work from home, it’s not like you meet with students in the summer. As I recall it was just emails and phone calls. They really only needed you on campus for the admissions events.”

“Honestly, I think I’m going to ask if I can do that. I could easily meet with my team through conference calls. It’s gonna hot and I’ll be way too uncomfortable trying to look professional. At least it’ll be warm enough to wear dresses and stuff.”

“You’ll look good no matter what, I hope you know that. You’ve been glowing.”

“You’re just saying that.” You nudge him. “Everything feels sore, and I’m starting to get stretch marks. I’m starting to think cocoa butter doesn’t really do shit.” Harry can’t help but laugh, and you start laughing too.

After your walk, Harry goes his separate way back to his building, and you go to yours. Sally gives you a knowing smile and you shake your head at her.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She grins. “You just seem to be in better spirits. You always are with him.”

“Not always.”

“You are though, he’s making you happy again. He even brought you junk food, I was shocked.”

“Me too.” You walk up and grab a mint from her desk. “Maybe…I mean, do you really think people can change?”

“I do, sometimes. He should want to change to be better for himself, he shouldn’t just change for you because then it won’t stick. I’ve heard things though. He was a wreck after your break up, even if he didn’t lead on that way. I think he still loves you.”

“I have no doubt that he loves me, Sally.” You sigh. “I never doubted that, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love him too, but sometimes that’s just enough.”

It was true, you never stopped loving Harry. As much as he broke your heart, you loved him endlessly. And you knew he loved you too. Every time he looked at you, you could see it on his face. You just couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You were better off as friends, and that was that.

//

“Baby’s healthy and so is mumma.” You doctor says to you. “Would you like to know the sex of the baby?”

“Yes!” You and Harry say at the same time.

“Well, you see that little thing right there?” She points to the monitor. “It would appear that you’re having a little boy.” She smiles.

You and Harry look at each other, and you both tear up. You wrap your arms around each other, and he kisses you cheek, lingering for a moment too long, but right now you didn’t care.

“Could we have a couple of those printed, I’d like to send one to my mum and sister.” He says.

“Of course.”

Once you get your belly cleaned up, you two head out to the car.

“Guess your hunch was right.” He puts your lower stomach. “Got a little boy in there.”

“Mhm, we should go through the baby name book and start seeing which ones we like.” Harry starts the car and begins the drive back to campus. “I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate for the rest of the day.”

“You know…I don’t say thank you enough.”

“For what?”

“Most people wouldn’t as lucky as I am. I mean, do most baby daddies get to be this involved? We live together, you’re lettin’ me be a part of so much.”

“Ugh, please don’t refer to yourself as a baby daddy.” You laugh. “And you’re only this involved because you want to be. I never asked to live with you.” You put your hand over his. “If there isn’t someone who says thank you enough, it’s me.”

//

A couple of weeks later you were just lounging in bed with a book when you felt the baby kick for the first time. It didn’t even hurt like you thought it might. You couldn’t believe he was kicking already, maybe he was just trying to make some room to grow. Harry had to see this. You get up and shuffle down the hall to his room. You tap on the door before opening in.

“Harry?” You look around and didn’t see him in there, but you could hear his shower running. You walk further in and knock on his bathroom door. “Harry?!”

“Shit.” You hear him say. “Yeah?!”

“The baby’s kicking! I thought you might like to feel…”

“Uhhh, fuck, umm, could you give me like five minutes?! I’ll come to your room!”

“Okay!”

You shrug it off and go back to your room. About ten minutes later, Harry comes in, only wearing a pair of shorts. He hated getting dressed right after a shower.

“Sorry, I was, uh, in the middle of washing my hair.” A lie, but her certainly wasn’t going to tell he was jerking it. He gets on the bed and sits between your legs. “Where’d you feel it?”

“Right here, give me your hands, maybe he’ll do it again.” You take hands and place them where you felt the baby kick before.

“Oh my god!” Harry gasps when he feels it. “It doesn’t hurt?”

“Not really. I’m sure it will once he gets a little bigger. This is so cool, it just makes it more real, you know?” He hums his response.

“Have you done your nightly lotion?”

“Not yet.”

“I could put it on for you if you want. I know you’ve been stressed with the kids at work.”

“It’s just another week or two of the crazy busy part, it’ll die down soon. Although…” You were touch starved and the thought of his large hands on you in some way was thrilling. You grab the jar of cocoa butter and hand it to him. “Thanks.”

He lifts your shirt up slightly, just over your bump, and starts rubbing it on gently. A happy sigh escapes your lips and your eyes flutter closed. You feel him tug at your pajama pants, and your eyes snap open.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t you need some a bit lower?” He was being genuine, not really seeing the problem.

“I can do that.”

“M’not takin’ your pants off, would you relax, lemme get your lower stomach for you.”

You wanted him to take your pants off, you wanted him to rip them away and do what he did best.

“See? All done.” He smiles and hands you back the jar. He gets off the bed, and goes to leave.

“Could you close the door all the way for me?”

“I thought we agreed on leaving them open a crack so I could hear if you called f’me?”

“We did…but…” Your cheeks flush. “Never mind, you know what? I need a pickle.” You get up and pull your shirt down.

“It’s a new jar I think, let me go down and open it for you.”

You both go down to the kitchen and Harry gets the jar open for you. Your eyes sparkle once you’re able to snatch one. You wrap your lips around in and close your eyes as you take a nice big bite.

“Christ.” He says under his breath, and you look at him.

“What?”

“Nothin’.” He blushes and looks away from you.

“Do you want one?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

“Really, you can have one. They taste so good, I think it’s the salt. I’ve been really into salty things lately.

He wanted to say he had something salty for you that you could wrap your lips around, but he wouldn’t dare. Things had been so peaceful with you lately, and he didn’t want to ruin it, as much as he wanted to ruin you.

“Did you get a new tattoo?” You point to his upper arm. “I don’t remember that one.”

“Hm?” He looks down at it. “Oh yeah, I got drunk one night with Max like a couple of months ago and we each got one. It was like right after we broke up.” He shrugs.

“I don’t know how you have any room left on that arm. Will you ever fill up the other one?”

“I kinda like the way it looks, it’s sort of lop sided.”

“But your chest and stomach is so symmetrical. Same with your legs, you have those ones on your knees and ankles.”

“My legs aren’t symmetrical.” He pulls up one side of his shorts to remind you of his tiger tattoo.

“Okay, minus that one.” You scoff.

“And you still don’t have any.” He smirks.

“Nope, and I never will.” You grab another pickle and bite into it. “I always like this one.” You graze your fingers over the mermaid. “She’s realistic looking, you know? Think my boobs are just as saggy.” You laugh.

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “Your boobs are not…” He sighs. “You have a beautiful body, okay?”

“Not anymore.” You roll your eyes.

“I disagree.” He crosses his arms.

“Gimme a break, Harry. This is not sexy.” You rub your belly. “It’s gross.”

“Again, I disagree.” He leans back against the counter. “Just more to love, that’s all.”

//

“God, I’m definitely gaining weight.” You groan. “I don’t know how, we both eat so healthy.”

“You order dessert every time we go out to eat, that’s why.” He says not looking at you. “You have no self-control with your sweet tooth.”

“Gee thanks.”

“I’m just sayin’, you can sit there and pout, or you could make some changed. If you need to have a dessert you could start goin’ to the gym with me. I’m allowed to have guests.”

“No offense, but I’ve seen you work out, and I don’t think I’d have much fun doing it with you. You’re way too intense.”

“We could run together.”

“You’d just go far ahead of me.”

“You’re makin’ excuses.” He turns to look at you. “Make a change or not, but don’t complain to me when you keep getting…plushy.”

//

“More to love!” You laugh. “You’re like the most fat phobic person I’ve ever met.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Any time I ever talked about gaining weight or anything you just made me feel worse about it.”

“Well…you sort of have a reason for gaining weight now. Before you didn’t, you were eating like shit.”

“I was not!”

“Yeah, you were. You always had like three different tubs of ice cream in your freezer, and anytime you’d have some you always went back for seconds. S’not a treat if you do it all the time. And that wasn’t me being fat phobic, I just wanted you to be healthy.”

“Well, you had a funny way of showing it.”

“My step-father died from a heart attack, Y/N, he had heart disease because he ate like shit all the time. I was scared…especially after you told me your doctor said your cholesterol.”

“That runs in my family! I don’t eat red meat for that very reason.”

“I just wanted you around as long as possible, maybe I had a bad way of showin’ it, but I was coming from a good place.”

“Whatever.” You shake your head.

“I know I was a dick okay? It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, I apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that or made you feel that way. I’m sure there were other ways I could’ve gotten my point across.” You put the jar of pickles down and turn to look at him.

“Yeah, there were. You could be such an asshole sometimes.”

“I know.” You step a little closer to him.

“It was really annoying.”

“I know.”

“And you made it impossible to stay mad sometimes, which ended up pissing me off too.”

“I wasn’t that great of a boyfriend, I don’t know why you put up with me as long as you did, to be honest.” He presses his forehead to yours.

“I don’t know either.” You say, just above a whisper.

He starts sniffling and backs away from you.

“Sorry.” He wipes his eyes.

“Harry…”

“I just, I’m so mad at myself for fucking things up so badly. I feel like I fucked up my one shot at having a real love, and I’m frustrated.”

“You didn’t, you’ll find it again.”

“Yeah.” He scoffs. “Just not with you, right?”

“You don’t want these with me!” You slam your fist down on the counter. “You just think you do because I’m-“

“I swear to god, I’m gonna lose my shit if you say that one more time! I’m still in love with you, I never fell out of love with you! I didn’t want to break up, you did!”

“Fuck you, Harry. If you wanted us to work you would’ve fought for us more. You didn’t even care that we started sleeping separately, or that we weren’t having sex, or-“

“I was trying to give you the space you seemed to have wanted! I may not have been perfect, but you weren’t either. You picked just as many fights with me as I did with you. I really saw a future with you, but there were times I felt like you didn’t see one with me.”

“You literally flipped out on me when I asked you to make some room for me in your dresser.”

“I got annoyed because I said why don’t you just use the dresser in the guest room, and you took it personally like I didn’t want our stuff co-mingling!”

“Well, that’s how it felt!”

“And then, you walked out on me before I could even ask you to move in here, I was preparing for it! I had started looking at new furniture and everything! But you got so distant-“

“Because I felt like I couldn’t even breathe without you having some smart remark. I get it, being a professor is super stressful, but you were always taking it out on me. I felt like a scared little kid half the time, Harry.” Your voice cracks as tears start to fall.

“I thought things were going to get better after went away that weekend, but they just worse…”

“Yeah, they did. We’re not compatible.”

“Please, don’t say that, it kills me.” He takes a deep breath. “I was mad at you for ending it, that’s why I didn’t jump to my feet to fight for it. I figured if you were willing to give up so easily then so would I.”

“But it wasn’t easy! My heart was broken, and it broke more when you just sat there and said okay.” You sigh. “I just couldn’t keep pretending that everything happening was okay, Harry. It was exhausting.”

“I know.”

“So what makes you think starting over would make any difference? Things are balanced right now.”

“No, they’re not.” He raises your chin so you’ll at him. “Do you know how hard it is to have the love of your life, the woman carrying your child, down the hall from you and all you want to do is crawl into bed with her and love on her, and you can’t? I feel like I’m dying slowly from the inside out.” He lets go of you and smirks. “And you wanna know what else is bullshit about this whole thing?”

“What?” You were stunned at what he had just said.

“You said I wasn’t helpin’ your situation by walkin’ around shirtless and sweaty or whatever the fuck else, but you don’t exactly do things that make it easy for me either.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s like you’re doin’ it on purpose.”

“Doing what?! Whenever I’m home I’m in leggings and a tank top.”

“With your tits fully on display.” He gestures to them.

“It hurts too much to wear a bra!” You pout. “I’m sorry…” You cross your arms over them. “I truthfully didn’t think you were even looking.”

“How could I not? You have to know how beautiful I think you are, I try to tell you all the time.”

“I thought you were just trying to comfort me…”

“It’s so much more than that.” You look down and then to the clock.

“We should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

“You always do this! You never wanna finish the conversation.”

“What’s there to finish?! We keep going round in circles. What we’re doing is working, let’s just leave it.” You stick the pickles back in the fridge and go upstairs.

//

Since you had moved in, you slept better than ever, but lately you tossed and turned. It wasn’t due to discomfort with the baby, you just couldn’t shut your brain off. Between all of the things Harry said to you that night and your work being absolutely stressful, you physically couldn’t sleep. On Friday you have a meeting with your supervisor to discuss the summer.

“You look great, been meaning to tell you that.” She says as you come into her office.

“Thanks Margaret.” You smile. “So I know I’m not due until the end of August, so I’ll be missing the fall semester…”

“We’ll miss you a lot. We’re starting to look into grad students for you though.”

“That’s great! And I’d be happy to train any one of them…just…maybe virtually?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m exhausted, and we really only do a lot of email and phone calls over the summer. Harry has a nice office set up at home, and he said I could use it this summer if I wanted. I was sort of wondering if I could work from home once the school year ends…I know it’s a lot to ask, and I could still come in some days, but all the walking around I do is just killing me by the time I get home, and my doctor said my blood pressure is high-“

“Is that from work, or the fact that you’re playing house with your ex?” She smirks. “I remember what it was like to be pregnant, especially during the summer. You’ll be much more comfortable at home, you’ve got that indoor pool right?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m sure we could work it out, but there’s some paperwork you’ll need to fill out with HR.” You hum your response. “Is it also that Harry has the summer off and you want to be home with him?”

“I mean…it would be nice…but it’s not the sole reason.”

“Alright.” She sighs. “Hey, just between us, are you considering at all to get back together with him? I’ve seen him around here, you two seem chummy again.”

“We’re on good terms, yeah, but the rest is complicated. Every wound I have still feel fresh, you know?”

“True, but are you going to keep holding onto how he made you feel then, or can you let yourself feel what you’re feeling now?”

“Which is what?”

“I think you want to be with him. You perk up the second you seem him walk through the door, and you’re always giggling when you leave together. Sometimes people break up, and it just doesn’t work out and then don’t get back together. Sometimes someone winds up pregnant. But…with you two, I think that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t have agreed to live with him or let him be so involved.”

“How could I deprive him of his child? And he said he wanted to be around for everything-“

“A lot of guys say that and don’t mean it. You still trusted his word, Y/N. I’m not saying you need to marry the guy or dive back into a full on relationship, but throw him a bone.”

//

You were quiet on the car ride home, nothing out of the normal. You keep looking at him and he finally sighs and speaks up.

“Do I have somethin’ on my face?”

“No.”

“Okay, then why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“I wanna go out tonight.”

“You do?”

“Mhm. I wanna put a pretty dress on and go out.”

“Alright, where do yeh wanna go, love?” He parks the car in the driveway and looks at you.

“I miss dancing, Harry.”

“Okay.” He knew your feet wouldn’t allow for it, and by the time you got somewhere you’d be too tired to stay long enough for any fun to start. You both get out of the car and go inside. “Why don’t you go up and take your time gettin’ ready…I have an idea I think you’ll like.” He smiles.

“Okay.” You smile back and go upstairs.

After at least two mental breakdowns, you get your hair and makeup the way you like, and throw a flattering dress on. It was flowy and came down to your mid-thigh. It covered your chest as well. When you come downstairs, you see that the lights are dim, there are candles lit, and music playing. Harry was pouring some seltzer water into a glass for you, and just adding a lime.

“Thought I’d bring the bar to us, how does that sound?” He hands you the glass and you take a sip.

“You’re brilliant, Dr. Styles.” You joke. “What are you drinking?”

“Just a beer for now. I don’t wanna get too wasted since I’m the one drivin’.” He winks at you. “Are you hungry? I popped some of those fried pickles into the oven…”

“You’re spoiling me.” You giggle. “Thank you. Oh! I spoke with Margaret today and we’re gonna go down to HR next week to talk about working from home this summer. She seems to think it could work out well.”

“That’s a huge relief. I like the idea of havin’ yeh home with me this summer.”

You both get silly to a few songs, and then eventually he slows dances with you. Your bump was in the way, but you were able to make it work. Harry was such a good dancer. You always felt safe in his arms. You loved hearing him hum along to whatever song was playing too, it was so calming. You look up at him and yawn by accident.

“Okay, I think it’s time you went to bed.” He chuckles and cuts the music.

“But I’m having so much fun.”

“I know, but you’re tired, honey.” He kisses your forehead and lets you go. “Come on, up the stairs we go.”

After you had gotten into bed, you thought to maybe go crawl into his, just to have a cuddle, but you told yourself that would be a bad idea. It would definitely lead to something else.

//

“Harry! Harry!”

He bursts through your bedroom door the next morning in a panic.

“Where the hell is she?”

“Harry!”

“Shit.” He goes into your bathroom and finds you sitting, unable to get up. “What happened?!” He steps inside and helps you up. “Are you okay?” He pulls you close to him, neither of you caring how naked you are.

“I…I was trying to shave my legs, but there’s no bench in here for me to prop my foot up on, and I lost my balance. I only fell on my bum, I think the baby’s fine.”

“We should go to the doctor anyways, just to make sure. And then we’ll go to the store and buy a shower bench, or you could just come use my shower, whatever you wanna do.” He reaches to turn the water off and grabs your towel. “You know, you could just let yourself get hairy.”

“But it’s so uncomfortable…”

“What about wax?” You both step into your room. “Or that nair stuff?”

“Wax hurts and nair burns.” You sigh. “My legs are one thing, but I don’t want that stuff near my…area.”

“I could help you shave you know, s’not like I haven’t seen yeh naked before.”

“Again, legs are one thing…” You pat his shoulder. “Let me get dressed, could you call the doctor?”

“Mhm.”

The doctor said you were perfectly fine, but to definitely be more careful. You and Harry stop at the store to buy a shower bench and he gets it set up for you once you’re home.

“Test it out.” He says as you both stand in the shower.

“Okay.”

You put on of your feet up on it and bend a bit and pretend to run your razer over your leg.

“Yup, that should work just fine, thanks.”

“What about elsewhere?”

“I think no matter what I do I’m gonna have a tough time with that.” You sigh. “I’ll live, it’s just uncomfortable. It gets itchy once it grows in, you know?”

“Again, my services have been offered.” He winks at you.

“You’d do anything to get your face close to me there, wouldn’t you?” You nudge him playfully.

“Yep that’s it, you’ve found out my entire scheme to eat you out.” He rolls his eyes. “Come on, you’ve barely drank any water today, let’s get your water bottle filled up.”

//

You tossed and turned again that night. You needed Harry. So, you get up and shuffle down the hall to his room, door open a crack like he had kept it in case you called for him.

“Harry?” You say, leaning against the door frame.

“Hm?” He shoots up. “What is it? Do you need a pickle?”

“No.” You giggle. You loved him when he was sleepy like this. “M’sorry it’s so late, I just can’t sleep.”

“Do you wanna come in with me?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.”

You slip into his comfy bed, and lay on your back.

“I miss being able to sleep on my stomach.” You sigh.

“You’d always be so cute in the morning.” He says, turning to face you. “Your arms would be tucked under the pillow and you could just see your face. Your hair was always coverin’ yeh up.” He moves some hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear. “So sweet.” He says, his eyes starting to droop again.

“It was really nice what you did for me earlier tonight.”

“Mm.”

“It was like…a new first date or something.” His eyes snap open and he sits up again.

“Wanna run that by me again?”

“It felt like a date, didn’t it?”

“I suppose it did…”

“I missed dancing with you like that.”

“Don’t do this to me.” He groans.

“What? What am I doing?” You sit up as well.

“You keep messing with me head, Y/N. One minute we’re getting along and we’re friends, and the next…I don’t I think you want me in the way I want you, and-“

“I can’t stop thinking about what you said, about how hard it was to not love on the love of your life. I’m really the love of your life?”

“You have been for over three years.”

“We only dated for a year, though.”

“I know, but I fell for you so much sooner than that. I’d flirt with you any chance I got just to see if I could get your cheeks to flush.” He runs his thumb along your cheek bone.

“And it always worked, you left me flustered pretty often.”

“And what about now, are you flustered now?”

“Very.”

“What did you come in here for, exactly?”

“I told you, I couldn’t sleep.”

“And getting into bed with me could help that?”

“Well…I miss cuddles…” You say just above a whisper. “And you’re a good cuddler.”

“What else do you miss?” His face was dangerously close to yours. It had been a month since your little romp with him, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t wanted it again almost every day since then.

“Harry…I miss a lot of things, but-“

“Can we just, ugh, forget about everything for a little while and make each other feel good?”

“But last time we did that…things almost got complicated, and-“

“We’re two adults who both have needs, and your needs are a little stronger than mine. What’s the big deal if we indulge?”

“I don’t wanna keep messing with your head, like you said I was.” You frown.

“Do you really not want me? I feel like you wouldn’t be living here if there wasn’t a sliver of you that didn’t want me.”

“I do.” You sigh and lean into his touch, his soft palm on your cheek. “It’s just so hard to forget what happened.”

“I know, and I don’t expect you to. It would be stupid if we both tried to forget or pretend like we didn’t tare each other apart, but we’re bringing a baby into this world now, and I feel like ever since you told me about it I’ve put so many things into perspective. I didn’t treat you right, and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life makin’ up for it if I have to.”

“You will?”

“I will. I love you, Y/N.”

“I…I love you too, Harry.”

The way he kisses you is so much different than last time. There was an urgency, a pure need. It wasn’t just lust, it was so much more than that. You could taste the tears that had been running down his cheeks. You believed, you finally believed him. He regretted it, every small thing that drove you farther and farther away. He would never let that happen again, baby or no baby.

His tongue licks into your mouth, and you moan into it. Your hands move up to his hair and you tug on it. He draws back and kisses each one of your cheeks, your nose, your forehead and your lips.

“M’not gonna fuck this up again.”

“Neither am I.”

You smile at each other and continue kissing. You both shift so Harry can get on top of you. His lips move to nip at your jaw and then to just under your ear lobe.

“Is this comfortable?” He says into your ear, as his hand snacks down your body, getting between your legs.

“Yes.”

You gasp when you feel his fingers run up and down your slit, collecting the wetness and bringing up to your clit to rub circles into. He starts to shift so he can get his head between your legs.

“No don’t!”

“Why not?” He frowns.

“I don’t want you looking up at me, you’ll only see my stomach, and-“

“I can’t even begin to describe how attractive you are to me, it’s insane. Please, let me get my mouth on you.” You bite your bottom and nod yes.

He kisses down your stomach and gets his lips around your clit, and slips his fingers inside you. Your hips buck up, but he holds you steady. He was going slow, but precise.

“Oh my god, Harry.” You groan. “Feels amazing.”

He moans against you in response. You cry out when you feel his teeth nibble on you and his fingers curl up. He was brushing that spongey spot over and over.

“Harry, shit, oh my god, I’m gonna, fuck, fuck, fuck!” You release around his fingers and he retracts them so he can lap everything up.

“Would you do somethin’ for me?”

“Anything.”

“It’s been torture watchin’ yeh go to town on those giant pickles…would you mind…” He gestures down to himself.

“Oh! Sure, yeah.”

“What would be most comfortable for you?”

“Maybe if you sit on the edge of the bed, I can just put a pillow on the floor for my knees.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, completely naked, and you get on the floor in front of him, kneeling on a few pillows. You plant your palms on his thighs as you wrap your lips around his tip. He watches you with parted lips, and you look up at him. He runs a soothing hand through your hair, and you sink down further on him.

“Teeth, love, watch your teeth.” He grunts. You pop off him and look up with embarrassment.

“M’sorry, it’s just been so long…”

“It’s okay, just take your time.” He smiles encouragingly. “I really like when you lick up and down…”

You hum your response and do as he says. You lick up and down his shaft, and his hand tugs at your roots. Your confidence comes back to you, and you suckle on his tip, flicking your tongue along his slit.

“Fucking, Christ.” His head rolls back. You hollow your cheeks and bob up and down on him. You swallow around him, and that nearly sends him over the edge. “Okay, okay.” You look up at him and he pulls you off. “I wanna fuck you now, can I do that?”

“Yes.”

He helps you to your feet, and gets you back on the bed. He puts a pillow under your lower back to help get you comfortable. He really wanted to be on top this time. He puts your legs over his shoulders and he slowly slides into you. You let out a throaty moan when he bottoms out.

“Jesus.” You breathe.

“Yeh like that?”

“Mm, so deep. You can move now.”

He rocks in and out of you slowly at first, not wanting to hurt you or do anything to jostle the baby. He had been looking up safe positions for having sex while pregnant, just in case he got the chance with you again.

“You look so beautiful, Y/N, it’s drivin’ me crazy.”

“It, ngh, is?”

“You have no idea.” He drops your legs and leans down to kiss you. He nips at your bottom lip and you groan against him.

“H, Harry, shit, I think I need to get on top.”

“Okay, baby.”

He pulls out and sits up against the head board. You move to straddle him and sink down on his hard cock.

“God, you feel so good.” He sucks on your neck while you start to move on him. His hand grip your hips to help you.

Eventually you hide your head on his neck to signal that he should just take over the movements completely. He thrusts up into you while he rocks you back and forth. You were both sweaty and panting, and you could feel yourself getting closer. He was close too.

“Harry, fuck, Harry, I’m gonna come.”

“Me too, shit.”

You bite down on his collar but he moves your face with one of his hands.

“No, please, let me hear you, let it all out.”

He gives you another hard thrust and it has you moaning out loudly, your nails dragging down his stomach, just the way his likes. He fills you up, probably making a mess, but neither of you seem to care. He cups your cheeks to kiss you, both of your lips swollen, but it’s what you both need.

“And this time, you’re not runnin’ off to your room.”

“Don’t want it to be my room anymore.”

“What?” His face falls.

“I think that should be the baby’s nursery…”

“Oh!” He smiles. “Yeah…we could do tha’.” He smooths some hair away from your face. “Does that mean you want this to be our room?”

“Yeah, I do…would that be alright?”

“It’s better than alright, it’s all I could hope for.”

//

Since you were working from home, you had plenty of time to help Harry with the nursery, and you both really enjoyed it. You decide to paint the room light grey, with a nice light yellow accent wall. You were going for a neutral vibe. Gemma and Anne come over to help set the crib up one afternoon while you make everyone some lemonade.

“So…you two are really back together?” Anne asks you while Harry and Gemma argue over the many pieces upstairs.

“Mhm.” You smile. “I suppose it was bound to happen either way.”

“And you’re happy?”

“Very, he’s changed a lot, and so have I.”

“That’s good. I can’t believe I’m havin’ a grandson. Have you two decided on a name?”

“We have a few we’ve been mulling over, but we decided we’ll make the final decision once we actually see his face.” She hums her response and sips from her glass of lemonade.

“How’s your mum been with all this?”

“Are you kidding?” You scoff. “She was over the moon that Harry took me back.” You roll your eyes. “Whatever, you know?”

“Mm, it amazes me that such a wonderful young girl could come from such a…witch.” You nearly spit out your lemonade from laughter. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” You smile.

Harry and Gemma come down once everything is all set.

“Oh, yum!” She says once she sees the lemonade. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“It’s the least I could do.” You hand them both a glass. “All set up there?”

“Mhm, and the changing table is good to go too.” You kiss his cheek, and he puts his arm around your shoulders.

//

It was the end of August, and way too fucking hot out. You were grateful for the indoor pool. You found yourself going there often with Harry. He thought the maternity bathing suits you found were awfully cute. He was on you more and more about drinking water. He was scared to death that you’d get dehydrated.

Your apartment was already full of the many gifts from your couple of baby showers. Most of it was organized, and you had an overnight bag ready to go. You were due any day now. Nora came to join you at the pool while Harry did some prep work for his fall classes.

“You look so good, Y/N, I mean it.”

“Thanks.” You beam. “I feel pretty good, but also ready to pop. I want him out of me already.”

“Soon.” She puts your belly. “Is it weird that I’m excited?” She giggles.

“Not at all! You’re my best friend, I want you to be excited. This kid is gonna be a part of your life now too.”

“I’ll babysit anytime I can. You know how much I love babies.”

She helps you walk back to the apartment when you both had enough of the crowd that had formed. They stop short when they hear Harry yelling on the phone.

“I can’t teach two extra sections of that course! I’m already at my load, and I said I couldn’t do any more than that this semester! My girlfriend is about to have a baby…” He groans with frustration. “Can’t we just hire a TL?” They hear him suck his teeth. “I can do one section, not two.” He sighs when he hangs up the phone. “Hi.” He grumbles at the two of you.

“What’s happening, Harry?”

“Oh, they’re just givin’ me somethin’ they could easily have the junior faculty do.” He rolls his eyes and grabs a beer out of the fridge. “We need to refill your water bottle now.”

You nod and fill it up with fresh water. Harry offers Nora a beet, but she declines since she’ll be leaving soon.

“I feel like I’m never gonna be home now. Maybe I can convince them to let it be an online section or somethin’.”

“That’s a great idea!” You say. “I bet they’d go for that.”

“The new department chair is just power hungry, she could easily teach the class.” He huffs.

“Well it seems like you were able to bargain a bit.” Nora says. “I gotta go.” She looks at her watch.

She hugs you and gives your belly another rub and out the door she goes. Harry wraps his arms around you and pouts.

“Any day now, huh?”

“Mhm.”

“How are you feelin’?”

“Terrified, but excited.”

“Me too.” He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

You fall asleep pretty quickly that night. All of the swimming really tired you out. You were thankful for the central air, otherwise it would be impossible to sleep through the heat. You woke up feeling sort of uncomfortable, almost like you had wet yourself. You absentmindedly reach between your legs and gasp.

“Harry.” You nudge him. “Harry!”

“Hm?” He rolls over and looks up at you. “You okay, lovie?”

“Yeah, I think my water broke.”

“Oh my god!” He shoots up and kisses you.  

“It’s time.”

#im having your baby #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #harry styles angst #harry styles angst fic #professor!Harry #dad!Harry #dadtobe!Harry

[ashesandhalefire]

would love to hear your complicated feelings on the michael/sanders scene in context!

okay so this is messy because my thoughts are still a little all over the place, but the issues i had were specifically with the new power reveal, and they were basically 1) the way they've handled the pod squad gaining new abilities, and 2) the decision to give michael in particular this ability and backstory

i wish the reasoning was more nuanced and meaningful but a lot of it is just "i don't vibe with this" and "i think it's dumb" lmao

so i'm starting to get less and less impressed with how they're rolling out this "aliens can have more than one skill" idea. sometimes the concept comes across as Very Sexy but the execution less so. i wanted to actually see them learning these new skills. i wanted to see them tutoring each other and practicing and doing stuff wrong and getting frustrated and feeling weird trying to learn powers that are different from the ones that have been a part of them for their whole lives. but isobel's telekinesis was really the only new skill that got any screen time, and i think michael was only sort of grudgingly there for one scene of it. healing hasn't been mentioned (to my recollection?), and mindscape practice has been mostly off-screen and it seemed more about deflection in case they were pulled into jones's mindscape and less about learning to influence people. and now it's starting to feel like we're just sort of rolling out new full-fledged abilities left and right. like, there are really only three or so, but it feels like oprah is behind the scenes going YOU GET A POWER AND YOU GET A POWER and doesn't feel as organic as i'd like it to feel. and at least reading auras and telepathy have mindscape vibes and feel like natural extensions of that power. but why is firebending now a whole new subset of powers? what are the limits of these alien abilities? how many more undiscovered powers are there? and that's not even mentioning the proficiency with swords. that feels like a decently unique kind of weapon to fight with, but it doesn't require any practice. we just dig that sucker up and the spirit of mom says "fuck 'em up, girlie." who cares if jones has been fighting with it for decades (centuries? i'm unclear on the length of this guy's life lol). he's not good enough to beat a really motivated novice. anyway! now we're saying that michael has secretly been able to jump into heads and control people for ten years but he doesn't use the power because he's terrified that it makes him evil and his siblings will be disgusted with him. and despite the fact that he hasn't practiced this power in ten years, a large part of the "beat the bad guy" plan hinges on his being able to overpower jones's control of the sheriff, meaning that the incident at eighteen isn't being looked at as a fluke when a new power manifests. we're just assuming michael has this fully developed mind control ability lying dormant in his brain. we lay out that michael did this thing, redefined his whole life by this new trauma, and, after a quick pep talk with his pseudo-dad, has processed his fears of his inherent evil enough to confess to his siblings and subject himself to using the power. all in like six minutes of screen time. and his siblings are entirely unaffected by this. they're not like... what??? you lied about a secret power for years??? they're just like [PSA voice, mentor putting a hand on mentee's shoulder] you could never be bad, michael. we love you. and then he DOESN'T EVEN DO IT. he just hops into the mindscape like anyone else could've done and says "pls don't shoot my friends :(" and the sheriff says okay and stops "letting" jones control her. why was this a good way to roll out this new power??? so the whole point of the reveal that michael has this mind control power apparently didn't even have anything to do with the sheriff subplot because he didn't actually use this power to resolve that problem. for now - until it comes back again, which based on some of the other subplots this season is not a guarantee - it was just to heap more trauma on his shoulders and legitimize this "woe is me, i'm a horrible monster!!" yarn they keep trying to spin without actually showing him do anything Truly Bad or Mildly Morally Gray. the sanders conversation is a rehashing of the alex convo from earlier where someone has to insist to michael that his genetics don't make him inherently evil. and the alex one was more effective for me because it was in the immediate aftermath of this massive revelation about who his father was AND michael

thought he was about to get murdered. he was spinning out. but having it happen again like eight episodes later - after michael still hasn't actually done anything to lend some legitimacy to his fears that his bloodline is Unavoidably Evil - doesn't have the same emotional impact. the worst things michael has ever done with his powers were shown back in the first half of s1, and he's be almost entirely reformed since then. so to set up whatever michael/jones showdown must be coming our way, we get the introduction of this ability that michael has never even so much as hinted at having before, and we get the reveal that it has colored how he looks at himself since he was eighteen. what. michael saying that his religious extremist family tried to perform an exorcism on him and couldn't and dallas inferring that he started to believe he was the demon was a good exchange. we already knew about that incident, but michael played it off as no big deal during 1x06. the new conversation helps him to relate to dallas, finds them some common ground, establishes trust, and makes the true emotional depth of what happened to michael explicit. having michael redefine all of his emotional struggles for the last ten years through the lens of "actually i found out that i have the same ability as the alien that possessed my sister and made her kill three girls in front of me, and it has made me view myself as fundamentally evil since that day" is such a bad rewrite of his history. was the history of horribly abusive foster homes insufficient in explaining michael's self-worth issues? was being the victim of a hate crime not enough trauma? was the witnessing and covering up of two separate murders that derailed his entire academic future not enough to make michael question his own goodness or value? why would it be necessary to add this mind control element to really make him feel bad about stuff?

and if ANYONE was going to get a story that dealt with struggles with consent and mental control, why was it not isobel?? why was it not that holding the turquoise enhanced her abilities and enabled her to control people, and she was TERRIFIED of that because of noah?? her consent was violated horribly, and she has struggled horribly with respecting the consent of others. this needed to be her ability to develop and deal with! giving it to michael fully developed also feels like a very handwavey, last minute choice. if this was planned from the beginning, why is this the first that the audience has heard about it? he says he never mentioned it because of isobel, which explains why isobel and max don't know about it. but why doesn't the audience know about it? in s1, michael is adamant that liz leave town. if isobel couldn't get her to go, why didn't michael sneak off and make her leave? why didn't he force her to forget (if that's within the purview of the power)? sure, he doesn't like having this power. but he's also more than willing to sacrifice himself for his siblings. wouldn't a little unethical behavior be worth saving them from experimentation? also if michael has been able to force people to do things all along, where was that energy when alex got kidnapped? why is torturing flint in a basement less inherently evil than just compelling him to tell the truth or compelling helena to let alex and charlie go? i know not everything can be planned from the beginning. but there was no reason this power had to be written like this. it didn't have to be something michael knew he had. but they chose to insert it into his history, and i feel like that was a bad call. - positives about the scene dad!sanders supremacy michael needs a dad figure who's like "you're a good person, you dumbass" and straight up LAUGHS at his assertion that he's evil.

#powderseal #asks for ts #wank for ts #because it's a big ol' complain-fest in here lol #and only actually barely related to the actual michael/sanders convo...

[bookwyrminspiration]

is it still council-hating hours? even if not, this is something that's been bothering me for....so long. and i am going to explode if i don't say it right now. (In fact i actually have a doc titled "council incompetence rant" that is. getting a little long.)

One of the things that annoys me the most in Keeper is how utterly incompetent the Council is. They are shit at their jobs! They don't make sense! And that would be fine if that was something that was explored and talked about in the story, but it's not?

Like, sure, it's brushed on a little, but Keeper never goes in-depth in order to explain just how flawed and corrupt the system is! We have no idea how far the rot goes because we haven't been given a chance to see how far it goes, and despite the earlier books being really great setup for all kinds of plots and discussions surrounding the Council, it feels like Messenger is completely dropping that in favor of..."Neverseen Bad, Council + Black Swan Good". Which I call fucking bullshit on, by the way, because this series has gone to pretty decent lengths before to show that it's not the case! So WHY are we getting to that now?

Well, I think all of this is the symptom of a bigger problem.

Note: I don't want to be mean, and please tell me if I'm being too critical here, but this series has some serious problems actually delivering on what it's saying.

Like, it's trying to tell us that Sophie shouldn't be doing all this because she's a kid, but then it treats her very own existence as a project as background information when that should absolutely be at the forefront (like it was in earlier books)!

It's trying to tell us that discrimination against the Talentless is bad, but then every single member of it's cast has an ability, has a strong ability, and regularly uses their ability! Even Dex, who could have easily been talentless and good with tech, gets to be a Super Good Gadget Person thanks to his ability as opposed to his own creativity and ingenuity.

It's trying to tell us that maybe banishing children is bad, but also tells us that Exillium is now """fixed""" because Oralie gave them...better tents? Food? And never touches on the fact that children are still. getting. banished. It doesn't explore Tam's anger in detail, Linh is only there to be the token asian girl, it does nothing to fully dispel any thought of the Council being alright.

And it's trying to tell us that the Council fucks up, it's showing us that Councillors have no problem being incredibly selfish and violent and so many other terrible things, but that never changes. Nothing in Keeper is changing. It is only maintaining the status quo!

I'm confused as to what Messenger is trying to tell her readers! Are the Council good or bad? Is working with the Council good or bad? Are the Black Swan and Neverseen actually morally grey? Should I be angry at what's happening in these books? Am I meant to look at all the rot and shrug because "that's just how it is"?

And like...I wouldn't be mad if Keeper was just...bad! I mean, I would, but I wouldn't be as distraught! What really grinds my gears is that Keeper has the chance to be good. It has the chance to do great things - and at times it absolutely does! - but it keeps reinforcing belief in a deeply flawed and broken system that is regularly hurting people. And those examples were just off the top of my head!

And again, if this was explored within the series, that would be amazing, but the problem is that it's...not. And that's just...a real fuckin' shame, honestly.

- pyro

(sorry if this was like...too angry? i started and then kinda just...couldn't stop. i should probably get a hobby that's not tearing a middle grade series apart. oops.)

it may have been over a week since you sent this (thank you for being patient with me!!), but fuck yes it is still council hating hours. it is always council hating hours in this household that is not actually a house. (also that incompetence rant sounds intriguing)

yes! you are right! they are so bad at what they're supposed to be doing it's like they're just figures for people to look to and say "yea they'll take care of it" to keep everyone else from acting out! but it's really interesting to see a government so awful and incompetent be such an integral and influential part of the story...without acknowledging that they're actually really bad? I know in Unlocked there's a line where Shannon says something like "Sophie had to figure out who the bad guys were: the black swan? the council? someone else entirely?" but then it's never touched on again that I can remember. Thinking through the series, I honestly can't think of a situation that the council, of their own volition, saw was an issue and corrected in a way that was beneficial to those who needed it. Like yea, Oralie gave money to Exillium, but that was after Sophie chewed her out about it. I think i've said it before but in case not: it feels like they've taken the "for the good of the many over the good of the few" ideology too far in a society that doesn't work for. If someone threatens the majority (and often that's just in appearance only) they get rid of them to preserve the image of the rest. It doesn't care about their people, it cares about the majority of people feeling undisturbed.

considering Sophie is part of a huge organization created literally because their society, led by that system, isn't working for a lot of people, they (the Black Swan) sure do go along with the council a whole lot. I think one of the linked posts in one of my masterposts is specifically about how making the Black Swan work so closely with the council screwed them over and completely undermined everything they were working towards. I'm going to make a very vague comparison here, but the Black Swan feel like "we need to fix the system" while the Neverseen are "the system is broken lets start over" (except the Neverseen added a lot more violence into the mix). It's absolutely infuriating to have them working side by side: one, because the Black Swan aren't accomplishing any of their goals and should cut their losses and go back to being mysterious underground groups with more freedom to move (in my opinion), but two, because it makes the council seem like it's trying to fix things when really it feels like a publicity thing to make the public think they're addressing the rebel issue while they're really just showing up in places and causing problems. And!! that's another thing! it feels like their collaboration with the Black Swan is to address the problem of having rebels, not the problems these rebels have identified and are trying to fix. Unfortunately, it seems the council is getting their way more than the Black Swan, getting them to act more legally and work closer with less room for working outside the system. if that makes sense.

considering it's literally stated in unlocked that there is no "good" and "bad," there does seem to be a lot of focus on associating the Black Swan with being Right, and the Neverseen with being Wrong. I can hope that it's the outward reactions to the Black Swan realizing they've done some fucked up stuff (Sophie) and are now overcompensating and trying to make sure their every move is the correct one. But I do think it will be interesting to see if Sophie makes the connection in canon (as she's already started to) that there isn't always a right option, there's just the best you can do with a situation and the Black Swan's insistence that she was "in the wrong" (a summary) helps her realize her own values and think through their decisions with her own perspective instead of just trusting them

response to your note: you're fine! you bring up a good point that this book sounds like it wanted to be a unique perspective (by having the "good guys" also be questionable and give the "bad guys" reasonable motives) but the execution misses the mark for a lot of us. so you're qualms and observations are entirely valid and I don't think you're being mean at all! I think you're expressing a frustration you have with something, which I support and encourage.

at times it feels like Shannon bit off more than she could chew in terms of all the complicated things she could get into when it comes to this series. not saying she's doing a bad job or a horrible author or anything, just that there are some things she introduced that kind of get left behind or unexplored because there's so much else going on. I think we can see that in the whole being experiment part of Sophie life. we saw sophie was uncomfortable with it in the first few books and would sometimes bring it up, but I personally would've been more satisfied if she'd either taken the time to process it (opposed to her think about that later strategy) or come to the realization that no, she isn't okay with it and she deserves to have her thoughts on the matter heard. she was literally created to serve someone elses purpose, and brought into the fight too early at that. and yet it's treated like an "oopsie, guess we just gotta go with it" thing, like this minor part of her story when I bet her thinking about it for more than a minute at a time would absolutely wreck her. but I'm getting caught up in this, so moving on!

I think we can see it in the talentless too, as it's treated like a "that doesn't affect me" thing for Sophie. because she doesn't have any friends that are talentless right now--the closest she's got is Marella, who I think is still legally considered talentless with her pyrokinesis. it's been acknowledged that she doesn't think the way talentless are treated is right, but it doesn't impact her right now so she's not really doing anything about it. maybe if this was brought back later with someone like Jensi, then that would be a satisfying conclusion to this issue (not a conclusion, but it wouldn't be left hanging, if that makes sense). And I can understand the benefit of leaving things open to go back and explore later from a writers perspective, but at a certain point it becomes more of a hindrance to the story than anything else.

and exillium! I have so many thoughts on Exillium that I actually started talking about it earlier in this post. They're not doing anything unless prompted and what they do is the bare minimum. With the tents and the food, they aren't fixing Exillium, they're making it into what it should've been at the very least were they going to actually go down that route. So I can't praise them for it when it's just basic decency to provide literal children with food and shelter when you force them to be somewhere they don't want to. But all this doesn't fix Exillium, because the problem is that it exists in the first place. The problem is that the council saw children who were struggling, and decided the best thing to do with them was to just get them out of the way for everyone else. Three coaches total for leadership? yeah, there's no way that place was ever supposed to be "alternate learning" or however Oralie phrased it, that was just so you could say you hadn't completely abandoned them in the middle of nowhere.

you're so right about the council fucks up bit--I think the most obvious example of this is with Sophie's ability restrictor. Yea, she's not wearing it anymore, but that's not because the council changed their minds. It's because she broke the law and the didn't punish her for it. this is a great example of how things keep trying to move forward, but the council isn't doing anything to stay up with it. "they are selfish and violent[...] but that never changes." yes!! this!! you put it so well! the council is still the same old council that we saw in book one, concerned with their own interests and their own views, just trying to mitigate the damage Sophie and her friends are capable of doing to their system. Note: the fact that a handful of teenagers who haven't even graduated can do this much damage might be telling of the structural integrity of their system. Bronte and Terik did a little flip, and Alina replaced the Now Crispy Kenric, but aside from that nothing has changed.

I will say, I personally don't want it to be clear who the good guys and bad guys are. (not saying that's what you're asking for! just piggybacking off your comment on the confusion). I'm glad that the characters make me think and I'm grateful there isn't just the "we're good and they're bad" element you see in other stories. not that that's bad, i just think realistically they'd be more complex and their simplicity grows repetitive after a while. But like I said, at times it feels like there's too much going on for there to be a clear message, which in and of itself could be the message. i could be seeing something where there's nothing, though. I think part of it might be Shannon trying to take on all these complex narratives and perspectives with a limited perspective (as in she only has Sophie to tell the story through), while also needing to make it enjoyable and palletable to a young audience.

and I agree with you! I think it's a lot of the potential we see not being used that makes us so infuriated (or me at least). Because there are some stories yo uread where you're like "ah. it's just one of those stories. cool." and you move past it. Because you know it's going to have a set perspective and you know it's going to accomplish what it wants, but Keeper seems to have so many possibilities and Shannon's getting stuck in this rut of good and bad after so long. maybe we'll get out of it in the next book with sophie thinking the Black Swan was in the wrong, but I also wouldn't be surprised if that Didn't Happen.

it's just like what i was saying about Ro! There's all these opportunities for these characters and this world to be really explored and fleshed out and complex, but we've gotten stuck in this romance drama and loosing fights again and again with little progress. All their actions are undoing the Neverseen's actions and counting it a victory because no one is dead. I just think there could be so much more that we're not getting because the story tried to go too broad when it wasn't ready for it.

this response got very long but in essence: I agree with your assessment of the story. is frustrating to see so many of the details and paths we'd like to see explored that often aren't in fiction just pass us by.

there is a special place for keeper in my heart and I will always appreciate it for that, but I also mourn what it could've been.

(also: you are not too angry! you have genuine thoughts about this series and they deserve to be heard! we are allowed to have complaints, even about the things we like. we don't have to appreciate every single aspect and we're allowed to be mad at the things we don't like.)

#we are a week into october and I have several asks from september still #how many can i answer in one day is the question #but back to what you were saying pyro #I don't want to just completely rewrite the entire series myself #but I do think there are things that could've been approached better and the council is one of them #If the Black Swan and Sophie both acknowledge their faults #i don't fully understand why they work so closely together #but that's a whole other thing so I should probably stop #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc character analysis #kotlc council #the black swan #quil's queries #pyrokinetic-loser #long post