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cherriesradio · 3 years

Text

Mha relationship headcanons (Class 1-A)

Guess I’m doing headcanons now

(In order of seats cause it’s the first photo order on Google lol)

Gn reader

Yuuga Aoyama

He will lazer anyone who even dares to make fun of them

Always in need of attention

ALWAYS

if y/n is boing homework or something at their desk he’ll just dramatically sit down in their lap

“wHy aReN’t yOu PAyinG aTtENTion tO yOUr pReTtY bOYFriEnd?????”

“My little star” ❤️

Compliment wars

Y/n will compliment him once like “hey your hairs really soft today”

Shots fired

He is a rich kid and no one can convince me other wise

So one day he just randomly buys them like thousand dollar jeans and they just sit there like “???????????????? I mean thank you so much I love it but like ????????????”

Mina Ashido

Yeah she doesn’t have any hoodies anymore

“Girls” night is very important where it’s basically every other night where they sleep in each other’s dorm rooms but instead of going to sleep at 1am they go to sleep at 6am on a Friday

Every morning she puts a ridiculous amount of makeup on y/n and y/n the whole time is like “I am totally willing to go to school like this”

But by the end Mina just wipes it all off :(

Brags about each other CONSTANTLY

Kirishima and Kaminari made a whole mix tap of Bakugo telling them to shut up about each other

With Kaminari’s crappy beat boxing ✨

They both go to Momo’s dorm and all study together (let’s be real they aren’t really studying just kidding around) all the time

(If a female y/n) They get their periods at the same time and it’s so miserable cause they can’t take care of each other 💔

If Mineta hits on either one??

The next day the other will ask to train with him and he’ll think someone finally likes him back but turns out they were just trying to beat him up for revenge

Tsuyu Asui

HATES PDA

DON’T YOU DARE HOLD HER HAND NO

Headcanon she’s aromatic (aromatics can still want a romantic relationship with someone and fall in love and stuff, it’s just really unlikely) (feel free to tell me how it works; I’m in the community but haven’t done a large amount of research on aromatics)

Random compliments

Just randomly “hey *ribbit* your outfits really nice today”

💙 swimming dates or going to the pond💙

Double dates with the rest of the Dekusquad couples

Loudly cheers each other on in training

Y/n gives Tsu a frog plush and she’s to scared to sleep with it thinking she’ll drool on it or something so it’s on a shelf that only has special items

Remembers every little thing like they could say they needs to do something in a few months and Tsu will remind them

Eat Bento Boxes together at lunch all the time 🍱

Once y/n was like “what do I feed the pond frogs?????” And Tsu went on a long rant about how to handle frogs

She has a passion okay

Sends goodnight texts at like 8:30 and y/n finds it hilarious that she literally goes to bed at 8:30

(When they finds out about Bakugo they laughs at him and Deku mutters “he deserves it”)

“I love you” *internal panic, like that one spongebob scenes in his head where there’s a ton of little sponge bobs burning stuff* “uhhh um uh thanks” “WAIT IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU TO SO MUCH” *bursts into laughter*

Tenya Iida

Study dates where they lose track of time and accidentally stay up till two in the morning

Definition of slow burn

Literally, for two years he clearly had a crush on them but didn’t realize it and at some point Deku and generally the whole Dekusquad got tired of it and Ochaco just yelled at him one day “YOU LITERALLY LIKE Y/N HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE?!?!?”

He just like o ^ 0

Literally plans every date for weeks

He doesn’t love physical affection, he likes it just not all the time, prefers giving gifts and time to each other

Best listeners ever

(Slightly angsty headcanon) one time he had pulled a bunch of all nighters studying and failed a test from not taking in the info and cried and y/n comforted him :(

Literally thanks the universe every night for y/n because he’s a sweetheart

When his brother gets forced into retirement y/n comforts him SO HARD

Y/n would low key be on board with the “murder stain” plan if Iida told them

Cause they are best friends with his brother

When they first got together and they meet each other they thought he was super intimidating cause he’s the “if you break his heart I’ll break your nose” type but then became really good friends because of how each of them care for Iida (well that was what started it)

Doesn’t get jealous whatsoever

Y/n could literally kiss some guys hand or cheek and he’s just like “their a really friendly person and I trust them”

Arguments on who’s gonna pay for dinner lol and then he’s just like

“Oh my god what we split the Bill” like he just had the best smartest idea ever

And y/n’s like “ :0 that such A good idea!!!!!” Cause they are both semi himbo

Ochako Uraraka

As soon as Ochako said she was poor y/n just started randomly giving her money

“Hey Ochako how’s your day” “oh good good you” “yeah I’m doin good anyways here’s fifty dollars”

She makes y/n a ton of hand made gifts and likes baking for them (I headcanon that she likes baking uwu)

If she buys y/n anything they know she was saving up for it and appreciates the heck out of it

Volunteers at the family business all the time 😌

Her bed is covered in stuffed animals and when she misses y/n she cuddles up to them and y/n find it so sad yet adorable

They would be nervous to tell anyone so it would be a secret for a while

Until one day Deku asks if Ochako wants to study with him and Iida and find them cuddling while reading

He definitely freaks out and blush’s but tells no one

After a few months they do tell the class tho they supportive

Okay the whole Dekusquad and y/n calls All Might Dad

When their older they go to pride parades (even if it’s not a lgbtq relationship) and wear “free mom/ dad/ parent hug” shirt and it’s adorable

Constantly touching each other

Could be hugging or hand holding or even as little as just having their hand on the others shoulder

Both find it werid how they somehow have the same taste in music

Part 1 (gonna be four parts lol wanna do the whole class)

#mha #bnha #my hero x reader #mha x y/n #Aoyama #aoyama x reader #mina ashido #mina x reader #tsuyu x reader #iida x reader #ururaka x reader

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ydolanssss · 3 years

Text

A hood love story: G.D

Warnings: violence, sexual innuendos, a lot of cursing.

Pairing: Grayson Dolan X female reader.

Summary: bottom line is... remember where tf you came from.

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Friday night lights.....most basic ass idea for a football game.

Just a whole shit-ton of rich ass white kids, acting like they hard when in actuality they have no awareness of anything outside of thier little gated community.

They weren't aware of the situation Grayson was in.

They either villainize him and where he's from, Or they romanticize where he's from. Either way they never talk to him.

They talk to ethan though, because unlike his brother he decided to just forget who he was and where he came from...that including his brother.

But you didn't think like them, you didn't treat people differently because of where they come from, or where they live. So you became friends with gray, best friends, and y'all were together all the time.

"hey gray you tryna go to the game today? You asked leaning on the locker next to his.

"there's a game?"

"yea against the cougars, you wanna go?"

"....mmm" gray never really went to any school event because well...he was kind of a loner, you didn't blame him tho.

"pleeeeeaaaseee, gray can we?" You asked with pleading eyes, and a quivering pouty lip.

"...fine"

"YESSIRRR, let's goo" you shouted, and skipped to class.

You went through the next couple of classes pretty quickly, went home, did some homework and waited for Grayson to come over.

"when you coming over hoe"

"I'm already outside, come on"

You run outside lock the door, hop in the car and head back to the school. The game had already started, but no one had scored yet. You and gray sit on the bleachers, and eat some popcorn.

"who you think finna win?" Gray said shoving food in his mouth. "I don't know, but prolly not our school, they haven't won a game in like...ever."

"true true" gray nodding in agreement untill his phone starts ringing. "Ayo hold up I gotta take this."

"hmm oh okay, I'll stay here" reassuring him. He walks to the back of the bleachers, "yo, wassup?"

*Anonymous* "Ayo when I see you, you getting lit tf up".

"Whoa, what? Who is this?" Gray asked confused as too who was tryna kill him.

"you know who this is lil bruh, it's daymen, oscars brother. You stole some shit from him the other day, and gave it to ya lil rich ass friends."

"what? Rich ass friends? Ion got no rich ass friends."

"okay okay, so you gon lie to me now huh?, Alright look, bring my lil brother his money or you getting lit tf up, and I take ya lil bitch for myself. You know the fine one, wit the braids."

"Don't you fuckin touch her."

Meanwhile you on the bleachers

"bitch what the fuck are you talking about?" Looking at claire and her lil posse.

"you know what I'm talking about, how long you been fucking my boyfriend."

"claire....who's your boyfriend?" You ask genuinely curious, because you do not keep tabs on miss bam-ba-lam-my-cars-a-hundred-grand.

"Grayson is duh." Because apperently that was common knowledge.

"g-grayson, Grayson Dolan the brother of Ethan Dolan, correct, just to make sure, Grayson with a "a" and a "o" not a I or a E. That Grayson?" Ya know...just to be clear.

"yes that Grayson, god are you dense?!"

"Oh no ma'am very much I am not, because the only grayson i know, don't fuck with bitches like you. Oh hell no, cuz yall don't fuck with people like him. And out of the mother fucking blue, he's your man, sweet-pea, i-is that what you telling me?" Because miss ma'am got you fucked alllll the way up.

"oh really how are you gonna tell me who I'm dating, I had sex with and who stole weed for me?" You pause....

"bruh what? Ugh now I know you tripping because Grayson don't fucking smo-"

"Aye, come on! Games boring anyway." Grayson yells from the bottom of the bleachers.

"alrighty well, miss. Thing I don't know what to tell you. Gods speed finding your Grayson because mine don't smoke." You picked up your things and walked with gray back to the car.

"hey what was the call about?" You asked

"huh? Oh it's was just my mom asking how long we were gonna stay at the game, I told her for the next hour so we could go do something else." He said.

You notice he kept looking around a lot, like he's was paranoid, waiting for something to happen.

"gray you good? You keep looking around, what's wrong?" You out ur hand on his shoulder concerned.

"huh?! Ohh nothing nothing let's go, come on"

He drags you to the car, and open the door for you, and he gets in the driver's side and drives off.

"ok I guess, um whatcha wanna do, wanna go to the park, or that on abandoned house that has a perfect view of the sunset, or ice cream, or ice cream and sunset. You looked at him, lip pouting head turn to the side, waiting for answer.

"uhh...ice cream only I wanna get you home okay?" He sighs, hands gripping the wheel tight as hell.

"umm what no I don't wan-"

"No! I have to get you home. I just, I just do, okay? Please I'm sorry for yelling come here." As you two pull in to the ice cream parlor's parking lot.

You lean in and he kisses you on your forehead, " I just need to be safe okay, it's late I don't want you out at night okay?"

"what? What do you mean I'm with you?"

He walks to your side of the car to open the door, "I know but....you cant be around me now at night at least it's not safe." After you get out he walks to the counter and tells you the get a table, you stand puzzled for a bit but you go anyway.

when he gets back with two oreo milkshakes, you ask him, "gray wait why isn't it safe? Why can't I be around you? What going on?." You ask frantic, worried your friend is in some sort of trouble.

"just because you can't don't- who is that?"

He asks leaned down a little.

"who is who? You turn around, and see a car speeding towards you both." Gray grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"GET DOWN! GO RUN BACK TO THE CAR!"

You do, you get to the car get inside and lean down, then you hear gun shots fire.

*bow bow bow bow*

The car skids off and everything is quiet, you look up and you see Grayson laid out on the ground. "oh my god...".

You get out hesitantly walking towards his body, "g-gray...baby, please oh God please no, god don't tell me he's gone" tears streaming down your face, you can't bare to walk any closer, and you drop to your knees and sob.

"no..please not my best friend." As the smoke clears you say this, the sun is setting in the background, it's a somber feeling somehow you feel safe and sad at the same time, while in that same moment your best friend, very much could be breathing his last breaths.

Then, like the miracle baby he is, Grayson wakes up, with a hell of pain in his shoulder. "Wha-? Ohh fuck my shoulder, holy shit, wait where's? Hey, hey, pretty girl why you crying?" He asks litterally sitting up looking at you holding his shoulder.

You stop crying, eyes shoot open. "Wha- GRAY!!" you run over and hug him, crying.

"i-i thought you were dead, *sniff* you were-*sniff* laying there not moving." Say sobbing into his shoulder.

He holds you with his good arm, "shh shh, it's ok, I'm not dead baby, I'm right here, I'm bleeding out of my shoulder and I should probably go to the hospital, but im not dead." His head sitting on top of yours

"oh shit, yea okay let's go." You help him to the car and start driving, you drop him off at the hospital and tell him you're gonna go take care of something.

You get back in your car and drive to a harbor, you then park and start disassembling his gun.

"god...I don't even know why he has this thing, granted he did get shot at but for fucks sake." You mumbled to yourself.

You speed back to the hospital,the doctors tell you he already out of surgery and he's doing fine, and they tell you his room number.

You walk back to his room. "Hey...Grayson baby, you okay?" You whisper not wanting to scare him.

"hmm? Oh yea hey come in." He's sitting up in bed both of his arms in slings. "Can you do me a favors and grab my juice box?"

You look on his tray and there's a little apple juice, juice box on it. "Oh yea sure sweetie." You poke the straw through the hole and hold it up to his mouth.

"Thank you."

"your welcome lovie." The doctor came in. "Ah, I see your already on it, that's good, very sweet of you." You look at him confused.

"um care to explain sir, or am I slow."

He chuckles, "my apologies, um since your friend, I'm assuming has two bad shoulder that have made him unable to move his arms at all he will need around the clock assistance."

You set down the juice box that he basically breathed in. "What do you mean both shoulders I thought he only got shot in one?"

"oh he did but his other shoulder is slightly sprained it's should heal up in a around 2 and a half weeks, while the other shoulder should take at most 4, but normally three. So due to his situation, his arm mobility is hindered untill a later date." He says with his arms crossed over his clip board.

You sit next to gray and look at him, "well I'm down, it's not like we don't spend every single second with each anyway." Gray laughs, "yea I guess thats true."

The doctors clear him and you help him get dressed but since it was late you threw a hoodie on him since there was no use for the sleeves.

You both get in the car and drive to your house, "come on gray we gotta get you to sleep." You tap and rub his tummy to wake him.

You get him up and walk up stairs to your bathroom. "Ok lemme brush your teeth." You sit on the sink and brush for him.

"okay that's done. Um alright it's 2 am ur tired I'm tired we can do the rest tomorrow okay?" You ask Grayson who's barley keeping his eyes open. "Okayyy." He says yawning.

"all right let's go to bed." You walk him over to the side of the bed and help him sit down.

" all right be careful and don't drop all the way down be careful not to lose your- oh fuck!"

You both lost your balance and fell on the bed, your on top of him millimeters away from his face. You never really looked at Grayson that way, never really looked at his eyes, dark as the ocean pulling you deeper and deeper to the point where you don't care if you drown.

Or his lips, they look so soft and smooth, if you were to kiss them it would feel like silk pillows. His lips..."oh fuck his lips."

Grayson catches your eyes staring at his lips and he sits up. "My lips baby, hmm that what you want?" You both sitting up on the bed. "Where? Your neck, cheek?" He drags his nose up the side of your neck to your ear.

"or that pretty little pussy?"

You gasp and get up off of him. "Um okay time to go to bed for real this time. Uh you good? you okay? Need any thing?"

"uh nah, nah I'm good. I guess...I'm laying flat then?" You turn to look at him.

"um yea I think that would be best."

You both start to relax and go to sleep.

"hey gray? I gotta ask you something, you know what's up with clair because she came up to me claiming I'm fucking her boyfriend, who's apperently you and also you stole some weed for her and that just dosent make sense to me."

He jerks his head to look at you "wait what!? When?"

"when you left to answer the phone she said your her boyfriend and she would know the person's she's been fucking and the guy who stole weed for her."

"so that's why- ughh fucking ethan."

"what? What about him? And what was that phone call about?"

He sighed "okay so I got a phone call from this guy named daemin, and I guess he thinks I stole weed from his little brother oscar, and I guess he's been watching me or something he said if I don't get his money he'll light my ass up and he'd go for my lil bitch himself, the one with the braids."

"oh shit so it was Ethan who stole the weed and prolly gave that guy your number, and prolly claimed he was you...now what the fuck wrong with claire?"

"Claire don't know that theres two of us and she don't talk to people he's friends with so he probably lied to her to."

Laying there in shock you think to yourself. "What kinda fucked up shit you got going on to lie about your whole identity and pretend to be your twin brother that you treat like shit?"

"ion know ask him."

You said it outloud.... again. "Oh shit my bad. But I will actually."

"what? No don't-"

"no gray this shit is crazy. YOU GOT SHOT! I'm not gonna let him get away with that shit gray! Now go to bed."

He sighs and closes his eyes.

——————————————————————

Next morning comes around. You wake up early to make grays' breakfast. A protein shake with some greek yogurt mixed with fruit.

You go back upstairs and he's awake.

"hey boo sorry to keep you waiting. I was making your breakfast. Need help?"

"yeth please."

"okay silly, sit up, legs out, and stand up on three okay? One, two, three...theeeere we go."

You walk over to the bathroom. Brush his teeth, wash his face and...help him pee.

"okay so how do you wanna do this gray?"

"umm you could hold it? If you wanna."

"seriously grayson. But that's like-"

"look your gonna have to bathe me at one point within these three weeks so like might as well get used to it."

"mm true, gosh okay."

You pull his pants down quickly trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

"okay so do I just like h-hold it or something? Or like do I just let it hang there?"

"no no you got to hold it bro otherwise I'll piss on myself then you have to change my pants and my underwear and wipe my legs down."

"ewww... Okay okay I guess this is better. Um sorry if my hands are cold."

"your all good."

"speaking of shower, let's just get that out the way because you haven't showered in a brick."

He sighs "alright"

You help him get his clothes off and turn on the shower.

"alright hop in big dic- oop- I mean big head." You giggle to yourself.

"ouu ok baby, oh and just for pure curiosity, which head?"

You slowly turn to him. "The one that made you think of that dumbass question, goofy get in, naughty ass."

"okay! Okay! Shit you the naughty one." Said with a smirk followed by a failed and painful attempt to slap your ass.

"ow! Ow! Fuck my shoulder!"

"and that's what ya get, hop in." You say giving him a pinch on the ass.

"what a nice butt, good for you!"

"thank you queen." He smiles

"your welcome king." And proceed to bathe him

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A couple hours later you left Grayson at home with him and a tv and left out all the snacks on the counter at a reachable level, whole you went out and....handle some business.

On the phone: "hey, meet me at the bleachers okay I need to talk to you about something."

"uh yea sure I'll be there."

A couple hours later, your sitting on the bleachers with the cold New Jersey air, causing your nose to become ice cold.

"hey." You jumped.

"oh shit! Oh hey sorry you scared me."

"ha, yea um sorry about that, so what did you wanna talk about?"

Now to most that seems like a very obvious question, it'd go something like 'hey why the fuck did you lie about your identity and completely drop your twin fucking brother'. Right? No.

The problem is you and Ethan have history, which also adds to the reason why your a lot closer to gray than Ethan and was like the breaking point of Ethan and Grayson relationship.

Basically in freshman year of highschool you and Ethan....dated?? Well no you did date but...it was shorted lived because he decided to cheat...on you. Crazy right? I know. And you'll never guess who he cheated on you with.....Claire!!! Isn't that amazing, what a coincidence.

So the day you found out was kinda intense.....

"What is wrong with you!"

"Why would you do that to her!"

"As long as we've know her!"

"Huh Ethan! What's the matter with you! Who raised you! It wasn't ma! I most definitely wasn't dad!"

Grayson being the lovely, kind, understanding soul that he is decided to give Ethan a piece of his mind after consoling you in the living room.

"Jesus Grayson! It wasn't even that bad!"

With his hands on his hips, mouth ajar and eyes bugging out of his head.

"you've gotta be shitting me. You made out with the bitch ON SNAPCHAT! THEY GOT YOU IN 4K BRO! What do you mean it isn't that bad!"

"look why does it bother you so much? Like it's not your relationship. It's mine."

"Because your my brother and I love you and I love her to, I want her to be loved and appreciated the way she deserves, and I expected better from you, I never thought, my brother, a fucking scumbag of a man. Had the audacity to cheat on his girl. I guess I stand fucking corrected."

They sit in silence for a while. Your in the living room nervous because you've seen them fight of course but, never this heated.

"well if you love so damn much you be with her, I don't fucking want her if there's gonna be this much drama."

Time for you to get angry.

"First of all motherfucker you cheated! Don't you fucking switch this around on me."

Grayson stands in front of you, tear filling your eyes by the gallons.

"I fuckin loved you....so much, so hard...I did. And this what you fucking do...this the last time I love someone as much as I loved you."

And with that you stormed out. Grayson followed disgusted with his brother.

--------

"....so what did you wanna talk about."

You snap back into reality.

"umm well one your fucking brother was shot!"

He jumps back. "What?! Was he really? When by who?"

"a few days ago. most likely by a guy named oscar...who shot him because apparently, Grayson 'sober4L' Dolan™, stole weed from him. Now the only people in this damn highschool that smoke are those rich ass kids you hang out with, and gray got a phone call about this whole situation and claimed that if he didn't get his money or the weed back, he was gonna shoot up him and take his lil girlfriend, 'the one with the braids'."

He rocks back and forth anxiously, knowing he was caught.

"and of course the only girl he's around with braids is me."

"okay look i-"

"Aht aht wait, I'm not done."

"because at the same time grayson was on the phone I had and interaction with the lovely ms.claire. She claimed I was 'fucking her boyfriend' and I asked who and she said 'grayson the one who stole weed for me'."

He puts his head in his hands.

"so now I'm looking at her like she dumb because we both know Grayson dosent smoke, so a couple hours later I ask grayson about the situation and then he tells me about the phone call, so we put two and two together."

"so gray got a call from someone claiming he stole thier weed, claire your lovely girlfriend enlightened me on the fact that I was sleeping with her boyfriend, who stole weed for her. Knowing Grayson is neither dating her or smokes. So who on earth, could have Grayson's number, steal Grayson name and identity and create a whole new fucking life. Oh hmm let's start with the fuck-amato who made the fuck sure no one knew he was a twin and also dates the girl that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with...who just so happens to be the fucking twin. what do you have to say for yourself?"

There is a pause between you and him.

"umm....I'm sorry."

"y-your sorry....SORRY YA BROTHER GOT SHOT AND ITS ALL YOUR- you know what here what we're gonna do."

You pull out your phone and you had saved daemin's number.

"you are gonna call oscar and tell him the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and tell him you'll get his lil cousin his money back okay?" Because if not I will..."

"okay, okay, call him."

You call and the phone starts ringing. He picks up.

"hello?"

"hey daemin I have the actual guy you wanted to shoot at and damn near kill"

"word? Who is it then?"

"his twin brother."

"ohhhh shit. Aw damn aye is gray good man I feel like shit he didn't deserve this."

"he's fine but his brother ethan, on the other hand is the guy you should've got, but look since I don't want both of them shot the fuck up he is gonna over there and hand you the money okay?"

"shit alright"

You end the phone call and he sends you the address.

"alright let's go."

-------------------------------------------------

You and Ethan pull up to daemin's house.

"look when we get in here don't say shit give him the fckn money and don't say shit."

"alright alright"

You walk towards the door and knock on it. It's opens and there stands a guy around Ethan's height.

"um hi are you daemin?"

"yea that me, you got my money?"

"oh yea we do, Ethan give it to him"

He pulls 85 dollars out of his pocket

"here you go man, um sorry for-"

The door slammed in our faces.

"umm I guess that it-"

"how's Graysons shoulder?"

"oh it's good it's getting better I gotta get back to him though, he can't do everything by himself."

"alright cool I just wanted to make sure, does he need anything like I got bandages and a first aid."

"oh no no its fine my mom's a nurse I got all the stuff I need thank you though."

"alright bye drive safe"

"okay thank you!"

You and Ethan get back to the car.

Ethan turns to you. "Um he's nicer than expected."

"yea...um okay, I'm gonna take you back home. "

"yup okay sounds cool. "

The drive to Ethan's was awkward and quiet. He still stayed at him and Graysons childhood home. You haven't been there in years.

"well here we are. God it still looks the same."

"yea hasn't changed since the last time you've been here."

You turn to look at him.

"alrighty well- mphm"

Ethan kisses you holding the side of your face.

"I miss you. I do. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that, I took you for granted. Please give me another chance."

Your in shock to say the least. Staring at him in disbelief.

"...no Ethan."

"what? What do you mean?!"

"I mean no, I'm not going to go back to you I don't feel that way about you. And honestly once a cheater always a cheater, I just can't give myself back to the same person that changed me emotionally, to where it's hard for me to love people as much as I used to. Like what you do if I cheated on you, would you come back to me? And be honest with yourself."

He moves his hand.

"...no"

"exactly...so don't expect me to be the same. Goodbye Ethan."

He gets out and goes inside and you drive back to your place.

-------------------------------------------------

You come back home Grayson in the living room, on the couch.

You sit next to him and talk to him about what happened, he was worried and frustrated at first with the fact that you went but understood it was your life at risk to. A couple of weeks pass, Graysons wound is fixed and you guys are let out for winter break.

Spending time with Grayson made you realize, what you deserved in a relationship, the love, appreciation, affection, loyalty. All of it, you deserved it.

And you got it, you and Graysons infatuation with one another, grew bigger and bigger over winter break. The Christmas vibes, sleeping in onesies and making cookies. Making love next to the fire place, trails of kisses going down both his and your body.

Afterwords..."hey Grayson? Can I ask you something."

"of course beautiful what is it?"

"how would you feel if we went back to school, ya know together?"

"when were we going separately?"

"nooo silly like together, a thing, an "item". We go back in a relationship. If that's something you want?"

"Are fucking joking! Of course I would baby. God, I've been waiting." And with that you finally found the love of your life, whom which in the future you had your two twin daughters with. Inez and Felicity.

You've never been so content.

#gray #grayson dolan #grayson and ethan #grayson #love story #ethan dolan #bw #dolan twins

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marvelsangels · 4 years

Text

"I Love You Please Don't Go"

(prompt from @hellsdemonictrinity)

Pairing: Peter Parker/Reader

Warning: Angst

Summary: You knew, you've known for awhile, but you let him, cause you love him you really do, and you're crazy enough to let your heart break more than it already is.

"Heyy babyy how was your dayy" Jumping on his bed where he sat holding his phone.

"It was uh, it was good i have tons of homework to do tho so i should start on it early" He replied half assed without even looking up at you.

He was doing it again, pushing you away, giving you excuses. You knew he wasn't seeing her, MJ was not an asshole, she would never see peter while peter was with you. She just wasn't like that. So no she wasn't the problem. Peter was.

Peter liked her, maybe even more? who knows? He started giving her heart eyes 4 months ago. 4 months of him still saying he loves you. 4 months like he hasn't been looking at another woman like how he would look at you. 4 months of him lying to your face when you knew the truth.

No you weren't "assuming" anything. You found out. How? Well Peter has a habit or writing down how he feels on a piece of paper and then quickly throwing it away. As if to confirm he was actually feeling it, and not just thinking about it.

You didn't mean to read it it was private and you respected that. But he left it un crampled on the floor when he was in a hurry, and asked you to help clean his room.

i like MJ, maybe even more.

He didn't even write down how you would feel in all of this. How broken hearted you'd be if you found out. He wasn't even scared.

He didn't care. Not anymore.

"Sooo can we hang out first? I haven't seen you in a while you've been really busy" Fighting to keep a smile you could almost feel the tears starting to spill.

Pushing his shoulders. "C'mon peteee"

"No I'm busy maybe tomorrow?" Still not looking up at you from his phone.

At this point you were crying while still holding a smile on your face. "Aww thats too bad then, uhm I'll leave you to it yeah?" Quickly wiping away your tears with your sleeves you got up and headed for the door.

"I'll see you, love you."

"I love you too Peter."

Closing his door and quickly making a beeline for the exit, you didn't want Aunt May to see you like this. You were stronger than that. Right?

Pressing the button on the elevator and waiting for it to come up, you couldn't help but think what you did wrong, was it you? It had to be. Peter wasn't like that no. He would never fall out of love just like that right? Maybe he got sick of you just waiting around for him and being all clingy. But he told you he loved that.

Not even noticing the elevator doors are already open until you heard your name, looking up you saw Ned.

"Oh hey Ned"

"Hey are you okay Y/n? why are you crying?" Reaching out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You didn't even notice you were crying so lost in your thoughts. You quickly wipe it away with your sleeves and give him the biggest smile you could muster.

"I just remembered this one movie scene. Ya know from Marley and me? ahaha! almost killed me." The tears still keep falling, it's getting harder and harder to lie.

"Y/n-"

"I have to go home Ned. I'll see you in class"

You saw it in his eyes. The guilt. Ned knew. And he was also lying to you.

Making it back home you went straight to your room, not wanting anybody looking at you like you're some kind charity who needs all the pity she could get. No you wont allow it.

Taking deep breaths, you saw a note taped to your vanity.

Hey hunny your dad and i went out to buy some dinner so he has something else to do other than playing with his robot thingys. Be back by 7 Love you, make sure to freshen up.

Smiling to yourself, at least you had your parents knowing they would always have your back.

Stepping out of the shower in fresh sweatpants and tank top you decided to head for the kitchen to make yourself some coffee and sitting on the island was another note.

Check if Morgan is still asleep.

Making your coffee quicker than you intended to you slowly opened her door to check if was still sleeping but instead of that you saw her playing with her ipad. Closing the door again and opening it dramatically this time. "Peanut you awakeee" slipping beside her on the bed and resting on your side. "Guess im gonna have to swallow all these jelly beans by myself."

"Noooooo" She giggled throwing her arms up your neck and resting on top of you. "Wheres it"

"Inside the chiller sweet pots, but im not giving you any until after dinner." Rubbing up her sides and pushing her hair beside her ear. "You know Y/N/N loves you right?"

"Oofcus i doo" Burying her face in your neck. "You mkay? Haven't seen spider in awhile" God how does a 6 year old know these kinds of things.

"Yeah im okay sweet pea, and he's been busy. Now come come lets go in the kitchen Mom and Dad are about to come home with dinner." Picking her up with you she couldn't help the giggles that escaped her tiny mouth. "Y/N/N!! dont drop meee"

Sitting around with your family felt normal, that is until your dad started asking questions.

"So how are you and Peter doing? Haven't seen the kid without a suit on. College that hard?"

Staying still and thinking of a smart reply, you came up with nothing knowing if you lied he would know instantly.

"College is hard daddy."

After dinner you quietly slipped out of your seat and made your way to your room. Staring out in the sky you thought of all the things you could've done that made peter fall out of love with you. You came up with nothing. Or were you that insensitive that you didn't know if you were hurting him? You're slowly falling apart. The confusion, the anger, the shame, the jealousy you felt it all and yet all you did was smile and say over and over that you were okay.

You weren't.

It was valentines day today.

Standing inside his messy room while he was seated on his desk writing something down on a piece of paper and beside it was a gift bag.

Deciding to take a peek and tease him to lighten up the mood and see what he got you, but once you did what you saw only broke your heart even more. He was writing it for MJ. The gift was for MJ.

You couldn't help the sob that escaped your lips. The sound made him turn his head.

"I didn't see you come in.."

"Why Peter?" you didn't even have the strength to raise your voice or be mad you were completely and utterly broken.

"Not now Y/n."

"What do you mean not now. Its time you tell me the truth Peter."

"Fine. I dont want you anymore its its- just its not working out between us okay? I work for your dad. And-"

"How dare you make this about my dad. How dare you say its not working out between us only after 3years. How dare you fall in love with someone else while you come back home to my arms and whisper to me i love you. How dare you Peter." Sobbing softly, He cant even look at you in the eyes. "At least look at me when i tell you all of this."

He had no guilt in his eyes. Not even a little. Even when he stood up from his chair, grabbed his letter and gift and turned for the door.

"Peter.. I love you, please don't go."

Sighs. "I have homework to do, lead yourself out Y/n." Closing the door as he left.

Clutching your chest and your other hand stopping your sobs you fell down on the floor and felt your heart explode into tiny little pieces.

"Im so sorry."

Fin.

Thanks for reading!

-angel 💜

#peter parker #peter parker angst #peter parker au #peter parker x reader #tony stark #pepper potts #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #marvel #avengers #peter parker smut

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mistymark · 5 years

Text

nct dream as classmates

renjun

carries like 346342 things in his pencil case

is constantly drawing in his notebook and textbooks

leans over to doodle in the margins of your pages

his notes are really messy tho

rolls his eyes at ur much neater, more aesthetically pleasing notes

but is always willing to give u coloured pens and pencils to keep to a colour theme

is probably shocked to find out he's top of the class and thinks its a joke

but boy is just smart af

but all his word documents are titled like ‘redox fucking reactions’ ‘what the fuck is a chloroplast’ ‘??????????’

sends u all his notes tho

texts u at midnight all the time for no fuckin reason

it always starts with ‘yo are u still awake’

and ur like ‘yeah whats up’

and then he’ll respond with the most RANDOM shit

like what goes through that boys head

‘do u think I should use yellow or orange for the next part of my project’

‘idk send me a photo’

‘no just pick’

‘uh yellow’

‘im gonna go with blue’

either rocks up to classes looking like a god or an absolute mess theres no in between

marches through the halls with his hair a mess and doesnt give a shit

lowkey terrifies the younger students lmao

but will help them out if they ask for it

jeno

good student

studies enough but doesnt stress that much

he's just here for a good time

throws snacks at u when u frown at ur work until u look up at him and smile

lowkey worried about ur mental health

that shy kid that everyone expects to be average at all his subjects but u catch a glance of his tests and theyre all A+

owns a planner

uses it

what

I know

keeps track of a lot of school events bc he has a lot of extra curriculars

tries to get u to join more

(no)

probably knows ur schedule better than u do

‘hey jeno what do u have next’

‘calculus’

‘...’

‘that means you have chemistry’

ur always yelling at him through the halls like ‘OI JENO WHERE U GOING’ to try and find out what subject u have next

walks u to classes even if theyre in the completely wrong direction to his own

you really only have study hall together

but u had a lot of classes in common last year and ur habits of studying together just carried through I guess

has really good fashion sense

lowkey dresses like a fuckboi

donghyuck

sometimes you just wanna punch him in the face tbh

‘hey y/n can I borrow a pencil?’

‘do u have spare paper?’

‘can we share ur textbook’

but ofc u love him sm and he's ur study buddy

studying together mainly ends up with him lying on ur bed throwing a ball up in the air while u sit at ur desk and actually study

is so willing to quiz you with ur flashcards tho

beams so hard when u get something write while he's quizzing u

claims he’ll treat u to coffee afterwards but never does lmao

makes up songs and rhymes to help him remember formulas and equations

recites the quadratic formula song whenever u mention math (even if it has nothing to do with what ur learning)

always suggests going to cafes and parks and stuff to study then spends the entire time doing the opposite of studying

‘come onnn y/n u need to relax a bit’

texts u in the morning to ask u to bring him a spare calculator or something for a test bc he forgot his

claims u to be his life saver

probably has ur contact in his phone as ‘lifeline’ or something equally cheesy

really appreciates u tho

jaemin

literally the #1 study buddy

brings heaps of snacks whenever u study together

when its late he’ll text u and tell u to go to sleep

has every single study tip crammed into his head and regurgitates them all whenever u complain about having to study

furrows his brows when u say u didn't get enough sleep but doesnt say anything

he's probably popular af

flirts with the teachers and laughs when u elbow him to stop

soooo well known ?? like even people at other schools know him ??

has aesthetic notes tho

probably has his own studygram

wears soft sweaters to classes

literally just looks like he has his life in order

gets one bad grade and studies his butt off to improve

‘life is all about improving y/n we cant all be amazing at everything straight away’

keeps u sane tbh

like literally how has he not had a mental breakdown yet its the middle of the year

youve had four just this week

‘do u want me to bring u coffee this morning?’

chenle

studies with u all the time

but he doesnt actually study

he's just waiting for u to finish so u can go catch a movie or go out to eat

stays up late playing video games

*sips coffee* “I havent slept in six days”

doesnt even like the taste of coffee

all the teachers love him tho

like he's playful and cheery but is super respectful too

he's just really good w adults ?

sends u texts during class and u wonder how he hasn't been caught

probably has never had a detention

but has been close to getting one 1289823 times

that kid that carries around one 5-subject notebook and two pens and thats literally it

brings his own lunch but trades it for jisung’s lunchables

sneaks food off ur plate all the time in the cafeteria

smiles at everyone in the hallway

offers u a ride home as much as he can

or he catches the bus with you

and shares his headphones with u

jisung

probably that kid that takes aggressive notes in the back of the class

tells u to shut up during class (and its not so he can focus lmao)

tries to get all his work done in class so he has no homework

groans whenever the teacher gives u activities

makes a face whenever a new slide pops up on the board

lots of question marks in his notes

‘to find the derivative of an exponential, it stays the same?’

‘aerobic respiration occurs in three stages: ????, the Krebs cycle and the electron transport chain’

invites u over to play video games the night before a big test

‘its self care’

shut up jisung we all know u just need an excuse to hang out

the teachers convince him to sign up to be a tutor

makes u come to all his tutoring sessions

you go out to eat afterwards

and just chill on a park bench and eat food truck food until its getting late

offers u his jacket on the walk home

has really red cheeks that are ‘from the cold’

theyre not

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lillysleepilystudying · 7 years

Text

92 Questions Tag

tagged by: @court-ships (now @bujo-ie )

LAST: 1. drink: probs water (tbh i dont like water much but you gotta sTaY hyDrATed) 2. phone call: i ran out of credit ages ago and haven’t bothered to recharge it so i haven’t called anybody recently, but mum has called me, so i guess that counts. (actually thinking about it i can’t remember the last time i called someone) 3. text message: to my best bud (cause i was wallowing in the depths of despair for like 3 weeks cause i felt like she was ignoring me so i finally got the courage to text her about it last night :) i think we’re going to be good) 4. song you listened to: K I’M LISTENING TO TEAM BY LORDE RIGHT NOW AND I LOVE IT FOREVER AND ALWAYS 5. time you cried: tbh like last weekend (see point number 3)

HAVE YOU: 6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anybod 8. been cheated on: nup, thankfully 9. lost someone special: i have lost relatives but i never really knew them? i have lost quite a few pets tho :/ 10. been depressed: not ‘officialy’ but past couple weeks have been bad (once again, see point 3) 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never been drunk, only ever had small sips of alcohol (i’m way to young)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: ohh so hard i don’t really have a fav, but i guess all blues (with and emphasis on teal) and like nearly all pastel colours.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yeah, but not like super close 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: maybe, but not very much 18. found out someone was talking about you: i don’t know? like this one isn’t very clear 19. met someone who changed you: sort of, i became closer to best bud, who i guess has changed me a bit 20. found out who your friends are: yes, but like also no? one of my few good friends left (for england of all places, but she is coming back), another’s moving schools, and once again see point 3 for other friend 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol i don’t even have facebook

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: see point 21 23. do you have any pets: YESS SO MANY a dog, two cats, like 8 horses (only one’s mine tho), 3 ducks (one i’ve had since i was like 4), around ten chickens... yeah i kind of live on a farm without all the big herds (also a lot lot smaller than a farm lol). fun fact: we used to have like 7 peacocks, they’re actually the coolest birds to have around. 24. do you want to change your name: no way, i actually quite like mine :) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: pool partay! tbh i went way overboard with the decorations, i spent hours making little paper flowers for everyone (they looked pretty cool, actually) 26. what time did you wake up: probs like 6;30, but stayed half asleep until 8:20 (shhh it’s a sunday i can do what ever i want 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleepinggg (sadly without my radio on bc mum wanted me to ‘try sleeping without music’ mum how i can i i need it ON 28. name something you can’t wait for: DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #BILLISBACK GET PUMPED!! also PINOF 9 and halloween baking videos from dan and phil, also, any album coming out from any of my favourite artists for the next like 104585 years. ALSO I’M GOING TO MONGOLIA IN LIKE 2 WEEKS HOW DID I FORGET THAT 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like half an hour ago we were running about in the rain putting the horses back in their yards 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: world peace, there are too many people (and animals) that are a victim of unhappiness they will never deserve

31. what are you listening to right now: A WORLD ALONE AKA THAT LORDE SONG THAT I RELATE TO ON AN OTHERWORLDLY LEVEL 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, there’s one in my grade and he speaks fluent french (at least he did last time i checked which was like 2 years ago) 33. something that is getting on your nerves: tbh like all homework ever, plus this giant self-directed project we’re doing this year, it’s the most stressful thing ever. also, once again see point 3 34. most visited websites: umm i guess youtube, school’s home page, tumblr (although i’m mainly on mobile for that and that’s an app) reddit and ao3 (one my phone)

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. mole/s: nah not really 36. mark/s: nah, but i got beeg stretch marks on the sides of my hips bc i am gROWING FAST 37. childhood dream: i think a vet or zookepper. also i really wanted to publish a book that said ‘new york times bestseller’ on the front bc that’s what all my favs said on them (tbh i still dream of this) 38. hair color: blonde ayyy (but it’s getting darker underneath) 39. long or short hair: i guess medium - long (little below my shoulder blades) 40. do you have a crush on someone: not really i haven’t had one in literal years unless you count that time i sorta thought i had one one on my best friend even though im 98% sure i’m straight 41. what do you like about yourself: my creativity, like i’ve learnt not to say ‘oh i’m horrible at art/writing’ when i’m actually not that bad. also, i’m a total weirdo 42. piercings: confession: i don’t even have my ears pierced yet?? like, i do want them pierced, but i literally can’t be bothered atm lol 43. blood type: idk, although i did get a blood test like last monday, so i should know soon 44. nickname: i don’t really have any (there’s not much you can do with ‘lilly’) although i have one friend who calls me lilpil. 45. relationship status: single and probably staying that way for a while :) 46. zodiac: capricorn (but i don’t bother with zodiacs bc i am NOTHING like a capricorn) 47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite TV Show: OMG I HAVE SO MANY BUT I’M A FRIGGIN HUGE DOCTOR WHO AND SHERLOCK FAN COME SCREAM ABOUT THEM TO ME also if you ship johnlock that’s even better!! 49. tattoos: none 50. right or left hand: right handed 51. surgery: nope 52. hair dyed in different color: never done, probably never going to (i change my mind ALOT) 53. sport: tbh i hate sport but i do horse riding and with school i do sailing and hockey (bc a summer and winter sport is compulsory) 55. vacation: OK LIKE I SAID I’M GOING TO MONGOLIA AND I CAN’T GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH BUT I DID HAVE TO APPLY TO GET IN AND I’M RAZZED 56. pair of trainers: i’m not to particular, i just have shoes for sport (alTHOUGH, i do have an awesome pair of white sneakers with a bit of gold round the back)

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: it’s father’s day and we had a GIANT breakfast and lunch so i don’t know if i’m even having dinner 58. drinking: i could KILL for a milo right now (it’s like, my version of tea or coffee) but parents have stopped buying it because ‘there’s too much sugar’ TIM I DON’T CARE I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT 59. i’m about to: idk i need to practice guitar, work on my bujo (bc i’m super behind), keep writing my fic, and i guess other general stuff 61. waiting for: nothing really, it’s sunday night so i’m sad bc it’s monday tomorrow 62. want: lots of things (who don’t amirite) but one is getting my bedroom walls gyprocked and painted (they’re wood panelling and i hate it) 63. get married: tbh whenever i meet the right person :) 64. career: FILM DIRECTOR YO i know nothing about film but i still really want to do it.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: OMG HUGS HUG ME PLEASE 66. lips or eyes: eyes, literally everybody’s eyes are beautiful, it’s great 67. shorter or taller: taller 68. older or younger: older i guess 70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice personality ;) 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive, like me tbh i’m so sensitive raise your voice at me and i will burst into tears 72. hook up or relationship: relationship always 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, also like me

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: definitely no 75. drank hard liquor: nopeity no 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have ‘em 77. turned someone down: technically yes? there was this new kid at school and he was literally asking every girl out, i was a bit confused. 78. sex on the first date: definitely no 79. broken someone’s heart: sadly i think so (but we’re like best friends no so it’s all good) 80. had your heart broken: no 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes, aforementioned relative i barley knew (still sad tho) 83. fallen for a friend: sortofnotreally

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: yes, at least i try my very hardest 85. miracles: in a way, yes

86. love at first sight: not really

87. santa claus: when i as like 3, yes

88. kiss on the first date: maybe?

OTHER: 90. current best friend name: ezri, my smol bean (also person from infamous point 3) fun fact: we’re both pretty sure she’s named after her character from star trek, ezri dax (her parents are giant nerds just like ez and i) 91. eye color: blue/gey with a bit of green 92. favorite movie: ARGHHH I CAN’T PICK I HAVE SOOO MANY, LIKE EVERY ONE BASED OFF BOOKS I LIKE, i really can’t pick, but one that is quite special to me is ‘my house in umbria’, my grandma and i used to watch this together all the time

Ok whoa this took me LITERAL HOURS but now that i’m done i just want to tag anyone who wants to do it! :)

#92 questions tag #this took sO LONG #but it was fun #lilly speaks #personal #not studyblr

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pearlsephoni · 7 years

Text

i have homework i need to do

plso here’s a list of questions that are supposed to be sent as asks but i felt like answering them myself rip productivity and sleep leggo

200: My crush’s name is: lol people I know irl follow me they don’t need to know this 199: I was born in: Galle, Sri Lanka 198: I am really: sleep-deprived 197: My cellphone company is: AT&T 196: My eye color is: Daaaaaaaark brown 195: My shoe size is: 6 194: My ring size is: I don’t actually, but I guess one of the smallest sizes 193: My height is: 5′1 192: I am allergic to: pet dander 😢 191: My 1st car was: still don’t have my license rip 190: My 1st job was: working in a lab! 189: Last book you read: Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison (I’ve been working on like five other books for the last year why am i like this) 188: My bed is: a lofted long twin, gotta love dorm beds 187: My pet: don’t have one 186: My best friend: got three, love them all 185: My favorite shampoo is: SheaMoisture’s Coconut and Hibiscus Curl and Shine has been great 184: Xbox or ps3: PS3 183: Piggy banks are: wonderful 182: In my pockets: my headphones 181: On my calendar: so many projects and presentations and finals rip 180: Marriage is: what you make of it 179: Spongebob can: ...do whatever he wants? i don’t care 178: My mom: is one of the best people in the world 177: The last three songs I bought were? Dead Girl Walking, La La Latch, and the 21 Chump St soundtrack 176: Last YouTube video watched: What If? feat. Daniel Radcliffe, by Anna Akana 175: How many cousins do you have? 7 174: Do you have any siblings? nope 173: Are your parents divorced? nope 172: Are you taller than your mom? we’re the same height 171: Do you play an instrument? Piano (badly), and I used to play clarinet 170: What did you do yesterday? classes, lab work, IRO meeting, then stayed up Way Too Late finishing an assignment [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: nah, I believe in attraction at first sight tho 168: Luck: Yeah 167: Fate: Yeah 166: Yourself: Working on it 165: Aliens: Yeah 164: Heaven: um 163: Hell: uh 162: God: haven’t thought about it as much as I probably should’ve 161: Horoscopes: not usually, but they’re fun 160: Soul mates: I kinda do, but I wish I didn’t, because it’s such a stressful concept to me 159: Ghosts: not really, but I’ll still get spooked at haunted places 158: Gay Marriage: YES???? 157: War: no 156: Orbs: don’t really know anything about that 155: Magic: no, but I wish I did [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs 153: Drunk or High: never been high 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes (all my crushes have been brunettes, idk how or why) 149: Hot or cold: Hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: both 144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 136: Hillary or Obama: hoo boy, Obama 135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: Coach 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: lmao Taylor Hicks what a throwback tho 131: Small town or Big city: Big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller (unfollow me if you pick Sandler omg) 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red Sox [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: unnecessary 121: George Bush: really don’t like this weird “kind grandpa” tour he’s going on. appreciate him acknowledging his mistakes though 120: Gay Marriage: Should be accessible to anyone and everyone, and the continued persecution of gay people (and people of every non-hetero sexuality) is disgusting 119: The presidential election: Hell On Earth 118: Abortion: Should be accessible to anyone and everyone 117: MySpace: Let it die 116: Reality TV: Let it die 115: Parents: I’ve been blessed with amazing ones, but not everyone is, and everyone should be able to define their relationship to them without society trying to enforce judgement on them 114: Back stabbers: been on both ends of that 113: Ebay: where I go for kpop things rip my wallet 112: Facebook: I’m embarrassed by how much I still use it 111: Work: nice. people at Wharton can be so stuck-up though, why are theatre kids like this 110: My Neighbors: Love them! 109: Gas Prices: pls 108: Designer Clothes: I think they’re super pretty, but they’re just not something I could personally invest that kind of money into 107: College: Should be accessible to anyone and everyone 106: Sports: wow I really don’t give a fuck outside of the Olympics. wish I did. 105: My family: Love my parents, love my maternal grandmother, wish I had a better relationship with the rest. 104: The future: Wow! Fuck! Terrifying! [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Saturday night 102: Last time you ate: Eating chocolate rn lol 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: yesterday when I saw one of my asshole high school classmates twice in one day what kind of fuckery 100: Cried in front of someone: oh wow...it might have been the day after the elections? or my first therapy session? I don’t remember which came first oops 99: Went to a movie theater: March 24th, to see the Beauty and the Beast remake lmao 98: Took a vacation: Spring break, went to NYC with one of my close friends 97: Swam in a pool: Jamaica, the first week of January 96: Changed a diaper: over the summer, while babysitting 95: Got my nails done: never gotten them done professionally! 94: Went to a wedding: uhhhhhhh I must’ve still been in pre-school I think 93: Broke a bone: never happened to me g bless 92: Got a peircing: when I was a baby lmao 91: Broke the law: I guess underage drinking counts, so this past weekend lol 90: Texted: an hour? ago? I think? [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Leslie 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my parents, my mom’s cooking, the kids on my street 87: The last movie I saw: Split (unless the last ep of Black Mirror counts because that was a 2 hour doozy) 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Going to Mexico this summer 85: The thing im not looking forward to: finding out how my crush feels about me 84: People call me: smol, cute, sweet, angry 83: The most difficult thing to do is: confrontation 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: Bull 80: The first person i talked to today was: my linguistics prof 79: First time you had a crush: elementary school 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my mom and Jaylen 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Lizy, last week 76: Right now I am talking to: no one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be a doctor? hopefully? and travel? ahhhhhhhhh 74: I have/will get a job: yee 73: Tomorrow: I have a test in Spanish and have to work on a group presentation rip 72: Today: NEED TO GET THIS DAMN PROPOSAL DONE 71: Next Summer: this coming summer? going to Mexico, still don’t know what I’m doing for the second half why does this keep happening 70: Next Weekend: Working Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time! so excited, I’ve been looking forward to this show for the past year 69: I have these pets: none :’( 68: The worst sound in the world: screams of pain 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mooooooooom (because I love her so much) 66: People that make you happy: my parents, my friends, I’ve been blessed with the people in my life 65: Last time I cried: probably two weeks ago, my mind wouldn’t shut up before bed 64: My friends are: the most patient people in the world 63: My computer is: doing its best, wish it had more memory 62: My School: is great! 61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: voted for Trump 59: The movie I cried at was: the last one was Lion 58: Your hair color is: black 57: TV shows you watch: Too Many 56: Favorite web site: Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: living in Paris for 1+ month 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: all of junior year of high school 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I’m pescatarian lmao 52: My room is: small, but lovely 51: My favorite celebrity is: uhhhh Viola Davis 50: Where would you like to be: Paris, NYC, Disney World 49: Do you want children: still not sure honestly 48: Ever been in love: unrequited, but yeah 47: Who’s your best friend: my mom, Jaylen, Riley, Leslie 46: More guy friends or girl friends: woah so many more girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: getting enough sleep 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my parents, my crush, Jaylen 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: kind..of...it depends on a lot of variable tho 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: tentative, but yeah 41: Have you pre-named your children: nah 40: Last person I got mad at: does sean spicer count 39: I would like to move to: NYC, Madrid, Paris (why am i so bougie why am i like this) 38: I wish I was a professional: actress [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: sour patch kids, airheads xtremes, cotton candy 36: Vehicle: Volkswagon Beetle, the last generation when it was still round rip 35: President: Obama? 34: State visited: California 33: Cellphone provider: AT&T i guess 32: Athlete: Simone Biles 31: Actor: at the moment, Dev Patel 30: Actress: at the moment, Phillipa Soo and Viola Davis 29: Singer: at the moment, Bruno Mars 28: Band: at the moment, EXO and Royal Pirates 27: Clothing store: Rue 21 26: Grocery store: Meijer and Kroger 25: TV show: at the moment...shit, I don’t really know 24: Movie: at the moment, Amelie 23: Website: tumblr, facebook, youtube 22: Animal: elephants 21: Theme park: Disney World 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: Figure skating 18: Sport to play: uh badminton I guess 17: Magazine: Entertainment Weekly 16: Book: The Night Circus 15: Day of the week: Friday 14: Beach: Galle 13: Concert attended: Bruno Mars’ Moonshine Jungle with Jaylen 12: Thing to cook: omelettes 11: Food: my mom’s food, spicy ramyun, macarons 10: Restaurant: Boiling Pots 9: Radio station: 98.7 in Detroit 8: Yankee candle scent: don’t really know 7: Perfume: Marc Jacobs Daisy 6: Flower: plumerias, cherry blossoms, roses, daffodils 5: Color: piiiiiiiiiink 4: Talk show host: I still miss Oprah tbh 3: Comedian: John Oliver, John Mulaney, Mike Birbiglia (I know, I need to diversify my choices) 2: Dog breed: corgis, samoyeds, labradors, goldens, poodles 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I tried?

#personal burb

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diomdes · 7 years

Note

all questions for the ask thing!! (or just the ones you would like to answer)

ahhh let’s do this !!!

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

probably? i haven’t smoked a cigarette yet but i could prob last without giving it a go (i do like occasionally smoking a tobacco pipe tho, like a hobbit)

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

im single ive always been single bc im Abhorrent

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

id prob say “shit u right” cos im vain :/ but honestly it would make me v happy !!! i just. don’t know how to respond to compliments lmao

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

nope!

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

eh, on and off. i dont know a lot of ppl i wanna date

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

goin to psych class and thats like, it

7: Do you want to be single?

not really but c’est la vie

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

i stayed in

9: How late did you stay up last night?

FUCK i was up til like 5am

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

sure can :~)

11: Last three things you had to drink?

water, coffee, and either wine or a smoothie whom can say

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

i pretend to like people almost every day cos i work in customer service

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

eh, not really? except for if i ever said that to my grandma lmao she’s. evil

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

nah

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

depends honestly?

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

bitch i am ALWAYS single lmao ! i was like. emotionally enveloped by someone but i wouldnt go so far as to call it a romantic entanglement

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

i was just waking up honestly my life is a mess

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

NAH

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

nope i love wine so much

20: What would you name your future daughter?

im not sure but i like the name august? i like unisex names a lot idk

21: Do you miss anyone?

yeah :/ shouldnt tho

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

i dont even interact with ppl and u expect me to be Kissing people....

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

whom is kiss

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Nope they are ALL OVER my face

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

ohhhhh my god so many times

26: Who did you last see in person?

my mom cos she’s sitting right across from me rn

27: Are you listening to music right now?

i am not but i would like to be

28: What is something you currently want right now?

to be not in a geo class and also to have all of my homework done and to know Everything but that’s asking for a little much

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

i think just the single word ‘bitch’ but i could be wrong

30: How is your heart lately?

she’s confused but that’s normal

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

very very rarely

32: Are you wearing socks?

i Am

33: What do people call you?

britt or brittany usually

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

prob not

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

my life is a stressful situation, thanks to that Anxiety

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

NoBody

37: Did you do something bad today?

i procrastinated a lot and have like 7 hrs of hw to do tonight so like. i guess that

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

a while i dont really hug people

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

oh my god yeah

40: Will you sing today?

i was singing tainted love while i was driving earlier so yep

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

this is so vague but yes absolutely

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

usually nancy or blaire tbh? or my buddy brianna. or m’mom

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

nope!

44: What are you listening to right now?

the bachelor lmao

45: What is wrong with you right now?

cannt focus on shit

46: What is on your wrists right now?

a hair bow on one wrist and a little band my therapist gave me on the other (for CBT things)

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

goodwill lmao

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

depends on the mood honestly ! but usually im more about hot chocolate

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

nah

50: Are you a good artist?

n o lmao

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

that’s what ive heard !

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

i sure have

54: Do you have trust issues?

uhhhm. sometimes

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

ive skyped all night with someone but they arent shit so

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

listen

57: Do you use chap stick?

religiously

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

lmao Yeah

59: Do you have a little sister?

nah nah

60: Have you ever been to New York?

yes ! i love ny :>

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yeah i guess

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

i. think so?

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

staring at a fire in the fireplace doing literally nothing

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

l ma o no

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

odysseus? yeah

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

jkfgm,dfsd,mnmfd i havent kissed anyone in the last five DECADES

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

prob alone? just cos im not the biggest fan of touchin

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

prob not cos i fucking Work

#than k u for asking omg :')#asks #ringsgrow

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weepingalter-blog · 6 years

Text

Have you ever:

1) Self harmed?

yeah. i no longer do it tho. i fear the response

2) Got into a real fight?

cam and i would get into fights when we were young. it wasnt serious but hes strong and im weak so bruises werent uncommon. apart from that then no

3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?

yup

4) Tried to commit suicide?

yes. obviously failed

5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?

yeah

6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?

no. i dont watch tv

7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?

yup. go back to self harm

8) Accused someone of using you?

of course. i am so afraid of the past repeating itself

9) Shoplifted?

no. too afraid to

10) Gotten drunk/high?

no. i doubt i never will

11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?

no. concerts scare me so much

12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?

not really

(Right now) Are you: 13) Suicidal?

yeah. not like i would ever do it

14) Bored?

no? just extremely depressed and paranoid

15) Avoiding someone?

technically yes. i dont want to talk to people right now

16) Avoiding some task?

yes if you count self destructive things

17) Depressed?

haha yes

18) Crying?

god i wish so. i cant as mum will soon come up to bed and i cant let her see me crying

19) Annoyed with a friend?

paranoia is making me do feel annoyed

20) Worried and confused about something important to you?

yeah i guess

Do you: 21) Get depressed easily?

yeeeesss

22) Get jealous/envious easily?

again yes

23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?

depends on the music

24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?

yes. a lot. i do it anyway so why worry

25) Try hard in all your classes at school?

i am at college now but yeah. i need to try now

26) Go out drinking?

27) Smoke cigarettes?

28) Smoke weed?

29) Do any hard drugs?

30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?

no to both. i cant even get away with it so why bother

31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?

no. i am sure i am a nihilist

32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?

yesyesyes

33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?

yup

34) Believe people deserve second chances?

35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)

i dont know. i fear being hurt for doing something bad in return so i guess not

36) Think things will get better?

i want to think it but i cant even believe it

37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?

yes

38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)

of course

Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend: pretty sure im on the ace spectrum but regardless ill do it

39) Long hair OR short hair?

long

40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?

nice abs i guess

41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?

i dont think im attracted to men

42) Shy OR open?

open? as long as they are there for me

43) Eyes OR body?

eyes

44) Religious OR non-religious?

non-religious i guess

45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?

caring

46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?

i dont know what this means

47) Piercings OR no piercings?

no piercings

48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?

tattoos

49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?

stay at home

50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?

friends

Would you: 51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?

52) Smoke weed?

53) Smoke cigarettes?

54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?

never

55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?

fuck no

56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?

maybe. if theres nothing to stop me then yeah

57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?

sure

58) Join a band as a part time activity?

59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?

i mean sure

60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?

nooo

61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?

i might not stick to it but ill try

62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?

no. cant fight

63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?

i dont post pictures online

64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?

they arent friends so no

65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?

i dont really interact with people but sure

66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?

possibly

67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?

oh lots

68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?

not for clothes, no. i am close to underweight as im 5.3ft and around 110 pounds so very close to underweight

69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?

no. why bother

70) Sleep naked?

i do that already so yeah

You can only choose one: 71) Black or Orange?

black

72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?

metal?

73) Cellphone or Computer?

computer

74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?

coke

75) Tumblr OR Friends?

tumblr. i can be private on here

76) Apple OR PC?

whats the difference

77) TV Shows OR Movies?

movies

78) Old bands OR new Bands?

new

79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?

music

80) Reading OR Listening to music?

listening to music

81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.

whats the difference

82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?

staying who i am. the latter would make things worse

83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?

i dont care

84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.

wut

85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.

dont care

86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?

documentary. i know my life is a joke but it suits a documentary

87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?

outer space

88) Shoes OR Shirts?

shirts

89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?

nah

90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.

stay. i am close to finishing college so why bother

Almost over: 91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.

i did my best

92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?

yes

93) Do you want to travel when you are older?

94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?

i dont have any dreams so no

95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?

i dont care. plus since there are questions about school then good

96) Rather be the opposite gender?

what would that be? agender?

97) What will you name your son/daughter?

hope

98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?

i think

99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.

dont have one

100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?

im just so shit and terrible and all i do is hurt others

0 notes

alxxkim · 6 years

Text

December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together. It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again. I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise. I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am. I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay. The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him. I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it. I wish I realized how unhappy John was. But there’s nothing I could’ve done. And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better. Maybe I need to take the next semester off. Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am. But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed. He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that.

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see. I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to. Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think. fucking kill me. i just want to have free time

0 notes

nobody-needs-to-know-that-blog · 7 years

Text

A year later- Sept 18, 2016

The day where it all begins to fall apart. Maybe not completely or full on that day but it definitely started.... Actually it started to fall apart during the first week of school.

First week of school i happen to work with a kid that i had class with the previous semester, a kid that i kinda liked and definitely wanted to get to know better. I kinda got to know him better... Not really. My first experience with him, was that he was trying to get my number.... off of the emergency sheets that our boss has us fill out.... he ended up getting the house phone before my actual phone... It didnt help that his phone absolutely hated mine and we literally could not text each other....

Well we ended up having a class together that was kinda hard. So we would work on homework and lab problems together. One thing leads to another and we ended up going to dinner with one of his older friends who made a joke like oh is this a date... well i was stupid and kinda said yes? However i still had a boyfriend at that time. During that dinner i literally avoided saying boyfriend. Like i was ashamed of him or something. I wasn’t i never was. I just wasnt the right person for him. I dont know if im the right person for anybody.

Anyways after that we ended up going to this jazz club thing on campus and we danced a little bit but not much. We ended up talking about his ex. She was there and she was pretty. and she could dance... i have two left feet. Anyways he was still really hung up on her and really wanted to get back with her. Which i completely understood. First “real” girlfriend yeah that happens. But they were two very different people. The dude did drugs and who knows what else. The girl. Very catholic... little miss goody two shoes... kinda like me... till SOMEBODY fucking broke me...

So during that dance we talked about how the older gentlemen had confused the hell out of both of us like there was something between us. May it be sexual tension or just wanting to get to know each other a lot better there was something. Well anyways I was amused but slightly pissed so i ended up printing off a coloring sheet that said “What the lemon scented fuck do you think you are doing?” and it was perfect about what was happening so I gave it to him and he was all im sorry i didnt know i didnt know. It was something that happened.

More happened in september... i went to my first party... got to drink. That was fun... Ended up worrying boyf because he was like you should be safe and all that other shit. But then was like i guess this is payback for every time i went without you... well i ended up messaging them both and i told the kid i wanted to get to know better that i was jealous of his ex... because she got to date him... While drunk... but i remember everything so maybe not that drunk...

There would be days where he would come over and watch tv with me.. or well force me to watch black books or arrested development ( i cant watch arrested development anymore....) There was even one day where boyf was picking me up for the weekend and kid was leaving because boyf was there.... they didnt meet tho...

That was September... Then October comes around, oh was October was a shit show.... We still hung out every couple days to work on homework together, whether it be in my dorm or at the student center or who knows where. We would hang out. I had been with the boyfriend for over 4 years at this point. 4 YEARS. 4 FUCKING YEARS. actually 4 and a half. Am i done healing probably not. but whatever such is my life.

Okay back to October. First part was slightly uneventful. More hanging out more being with the boys whatever... Well Boyf’s birthday is in October... we ended up going home for his 21st birthday... i was terrified as fuck that he was going to propose to me... I wasnt sure if i could live with him for the rest of my life. I wasnt sure if i could be with anybody for that long.. Before that relationship i jumped from boy to boy to boy and i kinda have been doing that now as well... but i have stayed with this one for a hot minute... I dont know. I push damn near everybody who gets close to me away... It is a miracle that i have anybody who wants to be near me at all... Anyways that is where it also begins.

I am terrified at the thought of proposal... I didnt want to live with this boy. I didnt want to be married to him. I couldnt handle that. I loved his family. They were more accepting of me than my own family... If they saw me now probably not as much because of the two tattoos and 3 piercings. I have changed..

Well anyways we would go to a physics club every friday and we ended up carving pumpkins together... They were cute... I did a pi on mine and it was cute :) i think i may have done an imaginary one im not sure... lol Well anyways dude who isnt the boyf ended up asking me to go see rocky horror with him because his friend was in the shadow cast of it. Oh man was that fun... but then we ended up going to the cast party afterwords which was my second party, and my bestfriends boyfriend was looking after me and was like worried and stuff which was great... Well after the party we ended up going back to his place to hang out because we didnt want to be at the party anymore and they wanted to smoke i think? well we are back there gave one friend a mix of rum chata and fireball ( its call a cumshot....) so that happened. we ended up going to sleep around 5... am... i thought i would be in my own room... nope he ended up sleeping with me which wasnt good but whatever. He had his arm like drapped over me and it was surprisingly comfortable... He wasnt overly hot like boyf had been... It was raining that morning.. The room has like a wall of windows which was beautiful to look at and was great for listening to the rain... Well at one point he ended up kissing me... it was just a peck and he was like inhibitions were gone and thats why and yada yada yada. Whatever he wouldnt have kissed me if there wasnt something there before... Its not a spur of the moment thing..

Halloween i was lilo and he was harry potter... we got pictures together.. I told boyf about it. He freaked out. I felt like shit... I still feel like shit for what happened.

October ended in lots of tears... I basically broke up with him on skype. Ex-boyf at this point was saying that i was the only person for him and that he didnt have anybody else to talk to and that i couldnt leave him because he would be all alone... That isnt what i need.. I am not somebody for him to tell everything to. I was taken for granted and it didnt feel good. It felt amazing to be wanted by somebody who wasnt just going to use me so they could feel better.

November started with tears and freak outs and all that awesome shit. I would still talk to ex-boyf because i always talked to him but that wasnt much better... i started to take longer to reply and then not reply at all. At one point he ended up coming to campus on a sunday morning and we walked all over campus- to the convocation center and back just talking about the future of us if there was one. I told him at one point that i was going to block him on all social media sites if he messaged me during a week. Because i didnt want to talk to him during the week after i broke up with him. He was worried about me... he missed classes because he felt physically sick and i dont know if he has gotten anybetter.. I was worried about him because he told me that he said he couldnt live without me. But i couldnt be in a mentally abusive relationship... again.

I had been in one before, ( irony was that it was with his cousin but thats a story for a different time) So yeah that was a thing.

Anyways thanksgiving rolls around.. i message my cousin saying that i want to do something with my hair. She was like HELL YES!!! she was so excited... I ended up getting highlights done and they looked really good and it felt good to be different. However that change didnt last long. Ex-boyf was like i didnt have my good luck charm this year for hunting so i didnt see anything or shoot anything. He was upset. Im not a good luck charm ain’t no way. Sorry dude.

So thanksgiving is over back to campus. And so begins December. One of my other friends turned 21 as well and we all pregamed and then went to necto.. well i was faking being drunk (i was at one point but not when i was faking it obviously...)but being all i want somebody to cuddle and be with and well yeah... i ended up going to kids dorm, and we ended up watching trainspotting which was fun :) However afterwords i was like there is something between us ( and even as i type this i still get butterflies which fuck you by the way) and i think we both want this but i dont know if you do i know i do and he kept telling me to say it just say it and i was like no its pointless i cant!! and then we kissed again.. and it was great ( FUCK YOU FUCKING BUTTERFLIES AND TINGLES AND ALL THAT FUCKING SHIT) we ended up making out... that was the beginning of December..

And then all though-out December.. especially the weekends we would hang out.. we had our christmas party and we ended up going back to his dorm after and making out during Arrested Development which is why i cant fucking watch it ( well that and its still fucking stupid)

He ended up spending the night before i went home for the winter break. i was alone and didnt want to be in the dorm room alone... Whatever. but then the first of the year.

Fuck the first of the year. Fuck getting what i fucking deserved. Fuck all of this fucking shit. And fuck that person who texted me when i didnt fucking know who it was.

I deserved the text message break up. Whatever. I didnt get closure. I deserved it because i gave it. But i still hang out with this kid. Its still not okay. He does this stupid shit that used to be cute... but its not anymore... I still call them boys but i still love hanging out with them... They make me smile... as much as i say i hate this kid and i dont want to deal with him, he can still make me smile....

The boys... i like to think they would do anything for me... Its kinda weird now that im dating the other one... its weird that they do the same things... that they both skipped out on the other for me... that i cant just sleep next to them... they have to touch me or kiss me or any of that...

Maybe its good that im sick... idk

#thisismystory #mystupid #stupidstory #nobodyneedstoknow #somepeoplewillknow #imtired #nobodyneedstoknowthat #sleep #willibeableto?#whoknows

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mellifxuous · 7 years

Text

I NEVER MADE THAT FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL POST AND HERE IT IS THE END OF THE SECOND WEEK AND I STILL HAVNT DONE IT AND IM IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING AVATAR AND YALL THESE VISUAL EFFECTS ARE KILLER BUT ANYWAY IG THIS IS THE END OF MY SECOND WEEK POST. So i decided to stay in act prep bc we’re doin college stuff in second semester and i wanna stay for that stuff bc its gonna be about like scholarships and applications and all tht good stuff and im glad i stayed bc were doin this college and career project and it made me realize that i really wanna be a visual effects artist instead of an animator like i wanted to be since like 7th grade. theyr like basically the same job but visual effects artists get to work w greenscreens and props and go travel and take pics for inspiration and then go animate them later but animators have like a solid desk job and theyre always sitting down and im not into that. And plus if i become a visual effects artist then i get to animate the stuff like transformers and avatar and make pretty backgrounds like lord of the rings and make flyin dragons and be a part of big movies so im here for tht. and the college i chose to research is like an art college in seattle bc they have a study abroad program and i love rain so like seattle is the best place plus my cousins live on an island in washington so theyll be close too and the school is so pretty. also this has nothing to do with it but i saw on like the school statistics that theres a 18% somethin asian population out of the like 3000 kids that go there and idk why but recently ive been liking asians and not even the korean or lightskin asians but like filipinos and tan asians bUT ANYWAY yeah so i’ll probably apply to that college even if i end up not goin there. So dance teams first football game was Thursday and it was rlly fun except the heart attack i was having bc i thot i was gonna be late and i didnt want to be the person that makes the whole team run bc i was the late one but i got there and i wasnt the last person to show up so i was so relieved. OHMYGSIS WHEN WE SWITCHED SIDES FOR HALFTIME I LOOKED UP INTO THE BLEACHERS AND I SEE JUSTIN CALEJA OR HOWEVER U SPELL IT BUT HE WAS THERE AND I SAID WOW. Also somthn really cool was we got at the highschool at like 6 before the sun went down and that highschool didnt have mountains or anythn near it like palo does so the team like watched the sunset together and it was sooo pretty like there was this one huge puffy cloud and it was like purple and orange and yellow and it was like the best thing and everyones legs were hurting bc the game lasted like 3 hours and we had to stand up in our squad lines the whole time n be prepared to dance whenever they made a touchdown or anythin but its okay bc i love the ppl kim put me next to and when we werent dancing and just had to stand there in position we all talked and made jokes and it was such a good time n JENIN WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PLAYERS NUMBERS AND AND SHE STARTS TO RALLY AND GOES “Lets go number 9!!!” AND DEADASS NUMBER 9 WAS ON THE BENCH HE WASNT EVEN PLAYING AND IT WAS SO FUNNY AND EVERYONE WAS DYINGI I HAVNT LAUGHED THAT HARD IN A LONG TIMe. our next game is on wednesday and its at palo this time which means we have to remember 10 dances instead of 5 and i hope i can remember the order they go in bc kim said shes gonna switch ppl out of the front line if they dont know the dances well and i dont wanna be switched out no thanks but its HARD when ur in the front line bc you dont have anyone to look at if u forget the dance but the back line can just watch us dance and then catch on if they forget odjshdhs that just means i needa practice the dances a ton and i dont have tiem for dat😩 thers not much else that went on in the two weeks im tryna think of stuff. Justin stamaria sang to me in korean today and it was just like rlly funny bc he switched seats with the dude who sat next to me so he could charge his laptop and we talked a lot and he has a nice voice but he does weed brownies so no thanks. oh and the new kid charlie from virgina is half japanese i found out but anyway he talked to me in the gym bc he wanted to know if ms jonsey was in the locker room and i said idk i didnt see her but then kim came out and saved the day and i said k bye. hes like cute and tall but we dont have english togethr anymore bc he switched out so like ill prob never talk to him ever again. Ohs key club tho theres so many asians idk why all the asians just decide to join key club but the first meeting was thursday and it was in a portable and there were SO MANY PEOPLE literally people were sitting on the floor and standing up and sharing laps like the portable was so packed i didnt know that many ppl could fit in there. BUT thers a lotta cute dudes so HEYEYEYE. Oh charlies in key club too i forgot u kno mayb i will talk to him agen someday. charlie, Justin stam, and julian lee are the cute ppl that i recognize but thers cute ppl that i dont know and i think key club is gonna be lit this year. Yall my schedule is so packed this year like on tuesdays i got dance practice till 4 and then tevakanui at 7 and some wednesdays i have football games from like 6-10 and then thursday is key club and more football games and fridays and Saturdays are gonna be competitions when comp season comes around and thats not even counting all the volleyball and basketball games were gonna do bc we havnt gotten those schedules yet but on top of that i need to fit in all this crap homework and my dad still wants me to bake 4 batches a week and i need to make time for key club events so i get my 50 service hours and i need to find time to finish my art portfolio so i can send it in on time bc i only have 1 PIECE BUT I NEED 24 AND wHEN WILL I GET TIME TO HANG W FRIENDS OR SIT DOWN AND WATCH A MOVIE OR SMTHN. dang i went from like doing nothing last year to busy busy busy busy busy this year but u know what im gonna do it i gotta take action and get everythin done on time my gpa depends on it im tryna graduate w honors yall dreamworks is waiting for me. ITS LIKE 2:30 Ive been writing this for an hour and its so long but thas fine this is like writing in a journal but typing. anywho i guess ill try to sleep now bc my eyes hurt but i kinda also wanna read and also wanna finish my movie but also needa like text ppl but ill prob do tht tkmorrow bc its so late and theyll be liek wth.

#this is the longest thing ive ever written ever in my existance ever #yall the effects in avatar are so good im surprised it came out 7 YEARS AGO LIKE THESE VISUALS ARE TOP QUALITY IM SO SURPRISED. THIS IS WHAT #I WANT TO DO. I WANNA MAKE WIKRLDS LIKE AVATAR #WVERYTHIN ABT IT IS SO CREATIVE WOW I WISH THAT WAS ME #OKAY IMMA SLEEP NOW #naedas thoughts

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