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minniemyshkin · 1 year

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Minnie Myshkin-I’m a high achiever, don’t you see?

Well hi there! My name is Minnie, nice to meet you! I am twenty nine years old,and the assistant to the Redwood Mayor. I am quite the fan of politics, fashion, Broadway, and Hollywood. Life's a stage, why not make it yours? There's also no such thing as "too many bows!"

Bio: Headstrong and ambitious, Minerva “Minnie” Myshkin has been a workaholic since the day she was born. The eldest daughter of one of the founding Redwood Hollow families, Minnie has had the pressure of her family’s past, present, and future riding upon her shoulders. Often this pressure was the fuel to her fire, and it drove Minnie to be an overachiever in every aspect of her life. She excelled through the best schooling her family could pay for, took part in the visual and performing arts, and even competed in sports, specifically dance and tennis. Minnie graduated Valedictorian, and was able to go to her dream university. She did not, however, get to necessarily pursue what she wanted. Minnie fell in love with the world of Hollywood young. She loved the glitz and glamor of the red carpet. Fashion, acting, dancing, writing- she wanted to be a part of it all. Most especially, Minerva wanted to write and direct her own screenplay. A true dramatic, Minnie has had her E.G.O.T. (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) award speeches memorized since she was fourteen years old. The only problem?The Myshkins don’t “do” Hollywood. There’s no guaranteed success or wealth in pursuing it, and more importantly, it distracts from the family, and Redwood Hollow. She had a family name to grow and defend, and parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents over her shoulder at all times, seemingly planning her life for her, with the implicit demand to be impressed. So Minerva studied to go into her second greatest love: politics.It was not all bad- Minerva truly enjoys politics. It was not all bad. Minerva truly enjoys politics. She quickly excelled at her job as the mayor’s assistant, even if it bothers her that she knows she got the job because of her family. With that privilege in mind, she does her best to provide for the people of Redwood- and anyone she can. Despite her easily frustrated and often overwhelmed personality, Minnie is always looking to do all that she can to help others. She intends to work nonstop within the government to leave everywhere better than she found it. Minerva wants to build a world where everyone can follow their dreams. She just hopes that maybe along the way, she can achieve her own too. Minerva is quite the spitfire, full of passion and truly good natured, but she also has the flaws of the silver spoon. Minerva can be entitled, stubborn, and egocentric, and needs to be reminded of her privilege more often than she would care to admit. Minerva is a true blue friend, and will always stand up for justice. She is also often the most confident person in the room…..as long as she’s written a script. Minnie is outgoing and tries to get to know everyone. She’s a busy body and will not stop trying to get to know everyone, and get in all official down business. She will join any committee, and will insert herself into any discussion of film, politics, or fashion. Her upbringing to prioritize networking shows through and through. That said, it’s also a curse, as she can come off as fake when she genuinely wants to get to know someone-which is 9/10 out of ten. She is high strung, and unhappy with life, and that can often carry over into her relationships as her focus is divided, she’s frustrated and frazzled, or bummed out. She is also trying her hardest to seem cooler and more important than she is-or at least doesn’t see in herself. Official Bio link: https://happiestplacehq.tumblr.com/day/2020/10/19/

Other: -Minnie Uses She/Her pronouns and is pansexual, with no gender preference -Minnie has Bipolar Disorder type III and ADHD -Minnie loves small critters and has three pet rats -Minnie loves to paint and write. She would love to write and direct a stage play, tv show, or film. A bit of a control freak, she’ll probably produce it herself too. -Minnie’s love of fashion has led her to have an incredibly impressive closet...or two....or three... -Minnie runs the Redwood Film Club Wanted Connections: -Childhood friends -A crush, can be unrequited -Someone with a crush on her -Partner/Boyfriend/Girlfriend -Best friend -Coworkers from Town Hall -Members of her film club! -Someone she went on a really awkward date once -enemies -Rivals-perhaps they’re not enemies but both of them do end up having to face the other a lot, either on personal issues, or on town issues that Minnie is the face of for the Mayor. -Fake friends just befriending her for their own success Wanted Connection/Plots: -Minnie’s car broke down, on the side of the road, in the pouring rain, not to mention it’s super windy too. Your muse sees her and stops to help her. Your muse offers to help fix the car, sit with her until a tow comes, or drive her home. -Your muse wants to join the film club, and approaches Minnie to do so. -Your muse and Minnie go shopping. Queue montage of trying on clothes, spending too much money, and some fun bonding. -Your muse has a crush on Minnie, she’s not picking up on it- or more, your muse might be able to tell she’s pretending not to. -Your muse is an online friend of Minnie’s and it’s been anonymous for years. You share your writings with each other and have talked about some pretty personal things, never putting together that you’re in the same town. When it comes up that you live in the same region, you’ve planned to meet up for the first time somewhere in Redwood. You are now sitting across from each other, realizing that the person you thought was a stranger, who knows everything about you, lives in your town, and maybe you’ve interacted.

-Your muse also dreams of hollywood, and you both have been working on a project together. You don’t have a solid idea of what exactly this project will be yet, but you‘re both hard at work creating the next great show/film together. Dramatic script readings and edits, all night sewing projects, and attending awkward improv acting classes will be worth it when you both become EGOT winners. -Your muse has been trying to get something across to Mayor B for months, and he just cannot fit you in. For the millionth time, you sit across from Minnie as she reads her HR response on why he can’t see you this minute again, and your muse is about to do what they want on their own without permission, so it’s probably best if Minnie helps.

-Your muse is a social climber who wants to stay in the good graces of higher society, or be closer with the Mayor. Your character is taking advantage of Minnie’s open heart to achieve these goals. Your muse is ruthless with this and manipulating her more and more-- or it started out that way, and now your muse actually kind of wants to be her friend. Up to you. -Minnie swiped right on a dating app and matched with your muse-- but your muse never responded. At first Minnie was bummed out and tried to let it go--but she can’t, so now she is asking.

-Your muse has something they really think would be great for the town, and want to work with Minnie to make it happen. Taken Connections: -Perpetual annoyance she keeps crossing paths with, and ended up on a fake date with: @lockborror

-New friend, at least Minnie thinks so, and shopping buddy: @notasweetnightingale

-New Friend, at least Minnie thinks so, @hans-omedevil -Terrified of after Minnie put her foot in her mouth one too many times: @cassguardia

#happiesttask #happiesttask11 #muse #minnie muse #headcanon

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myafterlifeisbetterthenyours · 3 years

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Stella and Stolas with the male Imp Overlord

Stella and Stolas with male Imp Overlord

When you, an Imp achieved your overlord status, lets just say that was something of an issue in the world of nobility.

Imps have always been the Hells servant class, every great dynasty and empire have been built off their backs. They were always meant to be ruled over, Not rule themselves.

But with your ascension to Overlord-ship, the pair found they had a very difficult desicion to make.

They could publicly oppose you. They were sure many of there fellow nobles would follow their lead, doing the same and under their banner, they could form a formidable opposition.

The only problem with that, is while they and there allies may oppose you, their enemies would be more then happy to support you. Whether that be directly or in the shadows.

And give the fact you, an Imp, had already achieved Overlord status, the last thing they needed was you against them, with the backing of disgruntled nobility.

So they did only other viable option. They got closer to you.

They formed an alliance with you in hopes of discovering what made you so unique. As well as ensuring you weren't an enemy.

You would initially be very suspicious of the pair.

Royalty had kept Imps down there entire existance, exploiting and enslaving them sing lucifers rebellion.

So you'd naturally have little, to no trust in the pairs intentions.

But as much as you distrusted the two, doing business with them was jus too beneficial to pass up, something the two went to lengths to ensure.

As the couple expected, in only a short period of time, you became even more powerful, amassing further wealth and territory.

And with this development, the two were quite happy there gamble had paid off. With their family becoming your largest business partner and as such benefited greatly from your prosperity.

As your business with the two increased, you'd slowly find yourself trusting the pair more, the two eagerly wanting to build on that.

And well, stolas being stolas, we all know he just couldn't help himself.

Being around such a domineering male Imp, one that spoke his mind and took shit from nobody. The way you didn't care in the slightest about his title and would tell him as much to his face.

Well, I think it's safe to say, he'd become Very interested in you, very quickly.

You wouldn't really mind Stolas.

You could tell he really didn't care much for politics, or the divide between hellbornes and royalty. He was just in it for a good time as well as securing his families continued survival. You could respect that.

Really the problem would be Stella.

It's fairly obvious she isn't too fond of Imps, likely having been raised to despise anyone she doesn't deem worthy.

And while your power and status would put you far above most every other Imp in her eyes, it would take a fair amount of time before she'd develop any kind of real respect for you.

But, given the chance to see just how capable and scrupulous you could be. A part of her would come to respect your cold-blooded you could be.

The truth was, Stolas had lost his blood lust when they were married. But you, you were a beast. Untamed and seemingly unstoppable.

While she initially wasn't fond of the idea of forming an alliance with you, doing it more so out of practicality over any genuine want to associate with you. She couldn't have realised just how good an idea it would turn out to be.

You were exactly what they needed, someone who could do the more 'dirty jobs' royalty often required, not only doing the job in a timely manner, but you always did it exactly to there expectations, never letting them down in the slightest.

The two held a party not long after your alliance began to prosper.

It was a fairly standard gathering of the Goeatia families allies and vassels families, the party working to both appease there egos and allow them to raise any concerns they may have to the couple.

Of course they had invited you, as despite the more recent nature of your power, you had quickly become an important business partner and asset to the Goetia family and they wanted to continue fostering that.

You had arrived fashionably late, clearly unhappy to be around so many nobles, a faint scowl across your features.

Despite your clear disgust, you still paid your respects to the two, thinking them for the invitation.

Leaving the pair you did what one does at such a gathering, you drank, partook in small talk and generally hung about.

But even with your invitation, it wasn't long until some asshat, decided to test you.

He attempted to publicly humiliate you. Pretending you were a servant and telling you, you were at the wrong area, or should be in the back serving drinks.

The asshole ran his mouth. You could handle that, you'd delt with plenty of loud idiots in your time, it was nothing new. But when he put his hands on you, attempting to push you about.

Well. You couldn't allow that.

It was in this moment that both Stella and Stolas saw why they had made the right choice in befriending you.

With a single brutally efficient strike, you dropped the noble like a sack of rocks.

Watching his body fall before calmly walking away, going about the party as though you hadn't just incapacitated one of the most powerful demons in hell.

Needless to say, no one at the party messed with you after that.

When it came to their relationship, she had little affection for Stolas.

She was still very committed to her marriage and family, of course but the once strapping, ambitious and blood thirsty Prince she had once thought she could love, had given way to an unambitious, soft hearted, stay at home dad.

And she just wasn't attracted to that.

But you... you were everything she saught in a mate.

Ambitious. Relentless. Dangerous and insatiable. You had no limits and seemed near unstoppable.

So, against her better judgement, she found herself falling for you. Something that was quite frustrating for the noble woman.

Stolas, would have absolutely no qualms about falling for you. He of course still cared for his family, but you were something else, something he desperately wanted.

The only problem unfortunately, was his family.

But with his wife being so close to you as well, both demons would be at something of an impass.

They couldn't pursue you in fear of there better halves finding out.

You, of course, where not blind to all this.

You could tell the two were slowly gravitating towards you, Stolas being particularly unsubtle about his pull.

And you found it was surprisingly easy to play the two off each other, Stolas was practically drooling over you and while she may try to hide it, you could tell Stella was very much attracted to you.

Stolas would be the easier of the pair to control.

A kind word here, a suductive touch there, a frustrated complaint about something over there and you could get him to do just about anything you wanted.

Stella would be more difficult, as It would take a considerable amount of time to have her overcome her ingrained discrimination towards Imps.

You likely needing to do so gradually, showing her how you were just as good as any snob with a royal title.

You'd need to be careful at first, ensuring that she truly did fancy you. But once you knew for sure, it wouldn't be difficult to seduce her.

All you'd need to do was appeal to her ego and show her your more dominant side.

Unlike stolas, it wouldn't be a physical dominance, it would a dominance of the mind. The owl princess finding your ability to dominate a room without lifting a finger, quite... intoxicating.

So, finding yourself in a love triangle of your own creation, you had a very specific plan.

When the pair of them first approached you, you knew, deep down, it was done out of fear.

Imps were nothing in Hell, and for you, an Imp to become an Overlord, that scared the BlueBloods.

And it should.

But if you were going to enter a relationship with these royals, they were going to be the ones who proposition you.

You'd be damned if you were gonna be the one begging for a relationship. They wanted it, and you knew they wanted it, they'd have to beg for it.

And beg they would.

The two came to an agreement. They both wanted you, but also didn't want to split up their family, so they would approach you together.

It was an awkward affair, in part due to you playing dumb to there intentions.

Stolas, being something of a bird brain, would draw it out, trying put their decision into words, but failing miserably.

Stella would just step in, opening the proposition of a relationship.

You would playfully think it over, already knowing the answer but you enjoyed watching the pair squirm.

You'd accept, the pair releasing a deep sigh before you pulled each of them into a passionate kiss.

However, much to Stolas' annoyance, you wouldnt sleep with them that night, choosing instead to just share there bed.

With a relationship like this, you'd have to spend the first few weeks ensuring there was a solid foundation to it.

Youd mostly do this through spending time with them, getting to know them on both an emotional and personal level.

Youd definitely sleep with Stolas first, taking the prince in his office.

Pushing him onto his desk and taking him rough and passionately, just how you knew he wanted it.

Youd do something more romantic for Stella. Likely having a simple, yet majestic diner before taking her to your now shared bedroom for a night of passionate fornication.

Despite there royal status, you would be the one wearing the pants in the relationship. As you could easily dominate each of them with words alone, Stolas even easier then Stella.

Of course you understood the importance of there image and would take a more back seat role in the relationship when needed.

Youd have a surprisingly intimate relationship with the pair.

Stolas was always open to anything you suggested, often initiating them himself. And while not nearly as common as stolas, Stella would often initiate intimacy with you.

Despite the two being married, Sex between all three of you would not be very common.

As both Stolas and Stella had quite different wants and needs in the bedroom that didn't quite mesh well.

Stolas wanted to be utterly dominated in the bedroom, completely at your mercy. While Stella wanted someone who could keep her pace, if not take control in the heat of passion.

Romance would be a priority for you, often doing your best to sweep them off there feet.

Luxurious dinners, dates on the town, the theatre. Nothing was ever too much.

Octavia would be a rather large bump in the relationship, as on one hand, you were essentially a whole new person intruding on her family, on the other hand, you were a wanted third partner in Stella and Stolas' marriage, you weren't tearing the family apart by being with them.

It would take a long time, and an even longer term strategy, but she would eventually warm up to you.

Never really coming to see you as a parent, but still part of the family.

While life wouldn't be without its problems,

The balance of power being a major source of arguments, as while Stolas was easy to tame, falling completely under your sway, Stella was far more head strong.

As such she'd often but heads with her rather submissive husband, saying he didn't do enough to keep up there family status.

She would often compare him to yourself, something you would always dismiss, having to step in and calm her down.

While you could dominate her husband easily, you'd need to control her in a more subtle ways. Appealing to her ego or planting ideas in her subconscious. Having mentioned when you forced her submission, likely in bed.

So, While it would certainly had its ups and downs, your life with your royal love Birds would be an incredibly love filled one.

Having the royal pair wrapped around your lottle finger, your power and status would grow exponentially. All the while the two would willingly give themselves to you, smothering you in there love and affection.

Thanking you as they made you stronger.

#helluva boss #headcanon #x reader #helluva boss headcanon #helluva boss x reader #helluva stolas #helluva stella #stella x reader #stella #stolas x reader #stolas

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nillegible · 3 years

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the JGY amnesia Fic

[AN: Someday I will come up with decent titles for my fics... but not now XD I hope you like this fic, the premise is that the issue with XY and NMJ happens before JZX’s death, and so the argument and the stairs moves up in the timeline! And JGY hits his head and gets TV-show amnesia, and remembers no one, not even himself, but is otherwise his sharp, suspicious self...]

He wakes up sure that he is dying, nothing else could hurt so sharp, agonizing pain radiating out from the back of his head, stabbing sharply every time he is swung, and he forces his eyes open. The light burns, but he can make out an earth green and brown collar, and a strong jawline. He is being carried by this man.

He doesn’t know who this is, but he feels… safe. Even though every step this man takes makes his eyes water.

He blacks out.

His name is Jin Guangyao. It rolls smoothly off his tongue, but sits wrongly in his mind. “Temporary amnesia,” the doctor had informed him, when Jin Guangyao could not tell him the answers to any pf his questions; not his name, or the date, or where they were.

A fancy young master in white-and-gold robes, who introduces himself as Jin Zixuan, is the one who sits by his side and tells Jin Guangyao the basics of his life. There is such an obvious lack of detail that it leaves him intrigued. And Jin Zixuan looks ashamed when Jin Guangyao asked if he was Jin Zixuan’s uncle. “No, I’m your older brother,” he says. “We… we share a birthday, but you’re a day younger.”

Jin Guangyao watches him for a moment, and wonders at the source of his brother’s shame. “I’m a bastard, aren’t I?” he asks.

“My father legitimized you!” Jin Zixuan protests. “You’re my brother.”

Jin Guangyao smiles at him. This man is clearly naïve, but has no ill-intent. The man who had named Jin Guangyao Jin Guangyao, however? He is yet to ascertain that.

Jin Guangyao’s memory doesn’t return within the first week. With his head injury healed, though, he’s allowed to leave the infirmary which allows him to collect a lot more useful data.

There is a lot of work piled up in his room. Disorganized, as if someone had gone through it to take the important paperwork to work on while he is <infirm>. That he was assigned so much work that was non-essential makes him wonder if he was actually pretty low on the social ladder, here. He goes through all of them anyway, most of it is useful information, painting a picture of Jin sect’s activities, and the sorts of projects that they allow to drag on for weeks. Jin Guangyao has left meticulous notes in a separate notebook about how to put everything into a more sensible order. That such reworking was required

His accessories, or lack-there-of, are even more enlightening. There’s also a scholarly-sort of hat, and only a few cheap hair ribbons. Nothing at all like the intricate jade hairpins or crowns with intricate metalwork and precious stones that Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun wore daily.

Jin Guangyao’s place here is… obvious.

He wonders who the man who had picked him up after his injury, was. No one tells him, not even Jin Zixuan, he just pats Jin Guangyao’s hand and says, “Don’t worry, you’re safe now.” The implications of that are obvious, of course, that the stranger was the one who had hurt him. And yet it’s a subject no one speaks of, of how Jin Guangyao had fallen down the thousand steps of Koi Tower, and he hadn’t asked after the first two times. He stays wary, watching everyone. Someone had tried to kill him, and he doesn’t even remember which of his acquaintances might want him dead.

Lan Xichen arrives two days after his release from the infirmary, Lan-Zongzhu, according to everyone else. He’s beautiful, the most beautiful person that Jin Guangyao has ever seen. Since he remembers all of a week, this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Jin Guangyao could probably search for decades and not find anyone more beautiful. It would not be fair.

They have tea together, after Lan Xichen – “Call me er-ge, you are my sworn brother, A-Yao,” – has checked him over worriedly, and checked his meridians, and pressed his fingertips gently to the back of Jin Guangyao’s head, to where his head injury had been, and ascertained that he truly is well.

“They did not tell me you were injured,” he says. “Da-ge had to, and this is the week of new students for the summer lectures, I could not leave. Jin Zixuan promised me you were well, though,” he says. Sincerity shines through him, and Jin Guangyao wonders what on earth he, an unwelcome child in his own family, could have done to make this man care for him.

So he asks.

Lan Xichen describes a heroic young man, who gave him shelter when he needed it most, who had smiled and laughed at him, and helped him with chores he could not do, and gave him the strength to fight a war. Lan Xichen tells him that this kind young man had gone into a war that did not affect him, only to help, that he had turned spy against a raging mad man, and finally taken off his head.

“So that is why my father took me in,” says Jin Guangyao. There’s a flicker of pain on Lan Xichen’s face as Jin Guangyao tells him what he’s surmised about how he’s treated here. “Did you know?” asks Jin Guangyao.

“I suspected,” Lan Xichen says softly. “But you were too proud to tell me. You insisted you were happy here. I visited when I could, but I never… I’m so sorry.”

Jin Guangyao reaches out to pat Lan Xichen’s hand, it feels so familiar, even if Jin Guangyao can’t remember doing it before. He must have, Lan Xichen’s sad face cannot be borne. “I’m sure I didn’t want to bother you, er-ge. You’re overworking yourself even now.” The signs are there, even behind his flawless composure. “You look so tired.”

“I had to come,” says Lan Xichen. “I was so scared that you…” He trails off, then turns his hand, holding onto him tightly. “If you don’t remember your place at Koi tower, do you want to return with me until your memory recovers? We’re still reconstructing, but Cloud Rececsses is still an excellent place to ”

“This Jin Guangyao is honoured, but what if it doesn’t?” asks Jin Guangyao practically. “I can’t just leave my home like that.” More quietly, he adds, “There must have been some reason I didn’t leave before.”

“You never said, exactly, but I believe it was because of your mother,” says Lan Xichen. “She wished that you would gain your father’s recognition, and a place at Koi Tower.”

“Do you know anything about her?” Jin Guangyao is not an idiot, he knows from the snide remarks, the way that people try not to touch him that he is of low birth, that his mother’s occupation was. That. He wonders if Lan Xichen will lie to him.

“She was an educated woman,” he says. “A renowned beauty. You’ve told me that you take after her, in many ways. She was skilled in the arts. She never taught you art but she was your master in calligraphy and music. She loved you very much and wanted you to have a good education because she knew… she knew that A-Yao is so incredibly smart and destined for greater things.” He squeezes Jin Guangyao’s hand. “Her life was not easy. She suffered, but she loved you. She would be proud of you, to know how much you achieved.”

It should matter, it does matter, Jin Guangyao’s heart squeezes, but it is from sympathy for what Lan Xichen is feeling. The dark honey-gold eyes are bright with tears. Clearly Jin Guangyao had loved her very much, before. But Jin Guangyao cannot find in him any love for a woman that Jin Guangyao cannot imagine. A woman with his face, a prostitute, but educated, talented. And ambitious to have Jin Guangshan’s son.

“My father did not take her in, I gather?”

“He did not. She died of illness shortly before I met you.”

“Thank you for telling me,” says Jin Guangyao.

Lan Xichen stays an entire afternoon, and readies himself to leave at dusk. Jin Guangyao accompanies him to the sky-pavilion on Koi Tower that the Jin disciples use to take off from.

There’s a last nagging question that Jin Guangyao hadn’t managed to slide into the conversation, as it meandered into cultivation theory and Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen had tried to piece out some kind of pattern in what kinds of cultivation knowledge he had retained, and what he had forgotten. It had been an interesting exercise.

“Er-ge, before you go,” says Jin Guangyao. He looks around cautiously, but no one is near enough to overhear. “You’re older than Jin Zixuan, aren’t you?” he asks, and Lan Xichen nods. “So our da-ge… you never said. Is he… did he die during the war?”

“No!” cries Lan Xichen. “A-Yao no, he’s not. He’s fine, he just could not find time to visit.”

Lie.

It’s the first time Lan Xichen has lied to him today, but Jin Guangyao is certain of it.

“No one talks about him, and I couldn’t find any letters from him. I did find a few of yours. No one even says his name. Who is he?”

“Nie Mingjue,” says Lan Xichen, sounding defeated. “Of course you would think to ask, but his name is Nie Mingjue.”

Everything falls into place. Jin Guangyao has seen some Nie disciple couriers on their way to private meetings with his father and the Jin council of elders. Hard faced and angry looking, they kept to themselves and departed the moment they could, without staying for a meal or entertainment.

“You think he pushed me down the stairs,” says Jin Guangyao.

“No,” says Lan Xichen. “We know he did. He kicked you down the stairs. He–”

“And you believe that?” asks Jin Guangyao.

“Of course I do,” says Lan Xichen. “Da-ge was the one who told me. I knew that things were difficult between the two of you, recently, but I had not imagined… It does not matter, we are looking through the records now, so that you can be free of your vows to him, and even if we can’t find something, he won’t visit Koi Tower again, Jin-zongzhu has forbidden it.”

“Oh,” says Jin Guangyao, mind whirring. “Okay then.”

“Is A-Yao afraid we’re covering something up?” asks Lan Xichen. Jin Guangyao is not sure what gave it away, he thought he’d kept his face smooth.

“Naturally I trust er-ge,” he says, smiling up at him. “I just remember him, vaguely. He picked me up. He saved me.”

It’s Jin Guangyao’s first memory, pained and fragmented though it is.

“He did take you up to the infirmary right after,” Lan Xichen agrees. He looks faintly puzzled, like he’s not sure why that matters to Jin Guangyao.

“I understand,” says Jin Guangyao. “Nie-zongzhu would of course regret his action after his moment of anger.”

“He does,” Lan Xichen assures him. “You should write to him, if you are willing to accept his apologies, but Da-ge is terribly sorry.”

“Thank you er-ge, I will,” Jin Guangyao promises. The relief on Lan Xichen’s face is too pure for this world.

He waves goodbye after Lan Xichen takes off, and steps back into the maze of Koi Tower, mulling over all the new knowledge that Lan Xichen had brought with him. He was right, he should write to Nie Mingjue.

But after some more research.

What could they have possibly quarrelled about so badly?

Jin Guangyao makes his way back to his rooms, keeping his face expressionless at the gilded opulence and overt unfriendliness of his home. He doesn’t understand his past self at all.

Why does he still live here, where he’s so clearly unwanted?

Why did he even care for the acknowledgement of Jin Guangshan, who from even just Jin Guangyao’s few interactions this week and the gossip he’s picked up, is a selfish, disgusting pervert who wouldn’t spit on Jin Guangyao if he was on fire.

Just because his mother wanted him to?

She was a good woman, he hears again, in Lan Xichen’s sincere voice. But Jin Guangyao doesn’t get it. She had to have been a fool, to believe in Jin Guangshan, or terribly cold and cruel to send him to Jin Guangshan knowing exactly what kind of derision would await him here. He is a war hero, and yet he’s treated like a servant.

Jin Guangyao is in the mood to be charitable, so he picks the former.

He still doesn’t know why he stayed.

[You can now read part 2 here!]

#meng yao #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #lan xichen #3zun #fix-it #JGY revaluating his own life objectively #amnesia #the fictional kind

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kuroowo · 3 years

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Know better

- Oikawa x GN!Reader

Summary - Oikawa knows better this time.

Genre - Exes/Past relationship, Angst (but with positive/hopeful ending!)

Warning - Post time skip!

Note - Inspired by Kyle Dion’s ‘Hold on to Me’ & Rosé’s ‘On the Ground’! Look to my tags for some tidbits!

WC - 1156

Oikawa is a decorated professional athlete with achievements and awards seemingly endless in his name. He’s also seasoned and secured as Argentina’s main setter, topped with skills that are praised five times over envious tears. It’s all the fact of the matter, undeniable truths that he along with many other volleyball players hold in high regard. But despite this, despite everything that he’s achieved in his life so far... Oikawa doesn’t feel as fulfilled as he thought he would be.

In fact, lately everything he once thought had held him back from his passionate pursuit of his life’s dreams, he’s found himself missing dearly. The flickers of melancholy in his chest, dull little aches that doesn’t seem to go away no matter what he’s tried, won’t stop reminding him of what he could have had if younger-him simply knew how to prioritise better. It makes him almost hyperaware of his past blunders, almost hating the effects it has on him ‘till this day. It’s glaringly obvious too when he goes back to his quiet apartment, when he scrolls through his messages, when he catches the glint of a broken promise from the corner of his eye. It cries out, pitifully, from the hollow little space carved from ages ago.

So, when Oikawa sees you in the cafe across the street, the very core of his heartache personified, before his very own eyes — this time, he chases after you.

“Hi.”, and your name follows. God, he loves it, he loves saying your name. He loves how it sounds, how pretty it spills from his lips, how comfortable it sits on his tongue, and Oikawa wants to say it to you forever — but he knows he shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t be intruding on your life. It’s unfair, and he knows that he has no right to be after placing his career miles and miles and miles ahead of the love you both once shared. Especially when you had been the one who tried to hold on, to fight for what you two had. Especially after he chose to turn his back on you for titles and achievements and passionate hard work, all having been celebrated with everyone who mattered in his life, save for the one person he yearned — yearns.

Oikawa knows it’s unfair of him. So damn unfair of him—

“Oikawa?”

— But it feel so right. It feels like fate, like destiny, like everything is falling into place with just a simple utter of his name from your mouth. Tooru’s always loved the way you said his name, spoken so beautifully with your voice, and it’s something he’s beginning to realise just how much he’s truly missed. Not just to hear his name, but to be the one you’re looking at, to simply be in your presence. But he knows it’s not enough. He’s always been a little more than ambitious, to put it nicely, and he feels like he has to do something — anything, just to hold on this time because the truth is... he still loves you. It’s taken him a long time to acknowledge it, to even admit it, but he’s here now and he’d be an idiot to let you go for a second time.

“Is this seat taken?”, and Oikawa hopes it’s not. He hopes that you had never found someone else, as horrible as that sounds, and he hopes that you’re still in love with him the way he is with you. He hopes that you stuck to the main reason for not contacting him all these years, because you still love him too much to just be friends.

“The seat?”, your voice comes out hesitant, apprehensive, and Tooru knows you’re stalling. He knows you’re, understandably, dubious about accepting this olive branch he’s (a little carelessly) extended. Oikawa feels a little more than hurt and disappointed at your uncertainty, but at the same time, a little more than hopeful at the lack of outright rejection. He clings to that subtext, that optimistic implication, but your darting eyes reminds him of his grief and he can’t bring himself to blame you. He knows that this, everything that you two are right now, is his fault. You’re distant, far, hard to reach because young Oikawa Tooru didn’t know how to juggle his priorities better, and it’s not far-fetched to say he regrets that. He regrets it in everything that triggers the aches to reverberate in his heart, and he feels bitter that it’s come to this. But he doesn’t stand down. He doesn’t want to. The part of him that’s matured since years ago tells him that he should — walk away and stop bothering you, but the bigger part of him he knows he can’t.

He feels guilt creep up on him a little for it, for acting this way with you even after all these years, after what had happened, but Oikawa just can’t let you go again.

“Yeah, I wanna catch up with the cutest person I know! It’s been so long, and I...”, know better now. Don’t like how you’re not in my life. Can’t seem to truly enjoy anything that we made ours. Wish that I never broke up with you. Miss you so many nights before I sleep. Am still so, so damn in love with you. “I’m sorry.”

He knows two simple words probably aren’t enough. It’s not enough to convey the magnitude of what he’s trying to express, it’s not enough to show how much he regrets his past choices, and it’s definitely not enough to ease the hurt he put you through.

But watching him, Oikawa Tooru, a man so stubborn and so prideful, apologising to you so sincerely, you know it’s enough to remind you of the love you felt — feel for him. And with that, you know it’s enough to have him read you like an open book, with hope bursting at the seams with his revelation. But he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions yet, not until he’s heard your answer. He may be able to see how you held love for him the same way he does for you, but it’s not that hard to see you weighing the pros and cons in your head either. Hell, he can practically feel the gears turning in your head from where he was standing, but Oikawa doesn’t let it damper him. Especially not when he knows how much he wants to spend the rest of his life waking up by your side, knows how everything isn’t at fulfilling as it can be without sharing it with you in his arms, and knows how he’d never be able to love anyone the way he loves you.

Tooru does know better now, and even if he is a little unfair, he stands opposite of you, waiting with a bated breath and optimism curling around his heart at your soft gaze, anyways.

“It’s not taken.”

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #haikyuu x reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu #originally written for kuroo but then I remembered the amount of shit he juggled while still staying in top form during HS so I scrapped #that idea lmao #then I thought to shift it over to maybe one of the miyans but then like OIKAWA appeared in bright neon white & teal in my mind and I was ka #was* like YES🗣#that being said I might have butchered his characterisation but I tried my best and I hope it wasn’t too bad :/#hq #hq.fics #oikawa stans if this was a miss then I’m so sorry🥲🙇🏻‍♀️😭

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saphirered · 3 years

Note

I thought this would be an interesting twist: After the failed ritual, what if Lucien's s/o ran into Molly? Thank you!

Okay so this one came out quicker than I expected 😅. Little 'twist' at the end because I could not help myself. I hope you enjoy it! 😘

You warned him. You warned him so many times but he wouldn’t bloody listen. Too caught up in his own game for power, never satisfied. But what were you supposed to do? Stop him? No, you’d never. You loved him more than that but you were not prepared to follow him to his own death. Lucien, you idiot how could you? You tried everything but he didn’t come back. The ritual failed. You didn’t want to uphold your part of the bargain. You knew this mage had ulterior motives and after being granted a peak of those pages she wouldn’t back down.

The woman wanted it all for herself and Lucien stood between her and that power the Eyes of Nine had to offer. Knowing the Tombtakers would follow Lucien to the extremes they would also accept the risks of this ritual and would be content but disappointed should it fail. With what you had seen you knew it shouldn’t fail. You had warned Lucien of your suspicions but his own arrogance made him blind to the consequences of this all. He wouldn’t listen and you were becoming an obstacle so when the ritual was to go down you weren’t there.

Lucien has slipped away from your warm embrace in the dead of night to perform the ritual and of course Vess messed with it, assuring he wouldn’t be able to return to his body therefor as per the agreement, she’d take the book as payment. It was too late when you found him, already dead. No amount of healing or revivification could bring him back to you. You had to accept that but you could enact revenge on the bitch that took him away from you. You’ll have her wishing she was the one in a shallow grave instead.

The Tombtakers diverged, finding their own paths. Cree tried to take you with her but you wouldn’t. You had your own task to complete. After that you could rest. Making the arrangements, finding allies where you could, earning and cashing in favours from anyone of power or resources you could left you with quite the arsenal at your disposal but you couldn’t just walk into the capital of the Dwendalian Empire and murder one of the archmages of the Cerberus Assembly. You had to be patient, lay low and let everyone think you moved on.

Still you visited the grave whenever you could. There was a comfort in the hope that maybe, wherever he was he could hear you. Lucien would probably scold you for going on a revenge path against one of the most powerful magic users on the continent all by your lonesome. He’s one to talk. Nevermind, you told him about your adventures, and hoping to acquire the resources to attempt to bring him back. You won’t give up hope.

Then you returned, returned to find the grave empty. You followed the tracks but they lead you nowhere. You had to find him. You had to find Lucien before anyone else did because what might they do? What state would he be in? Does this mean he’s already ascended? Would this mean he’d truly fully become the Nonagon for once and for all? But most of all, you just want him back in your arms knowing he’d be safe. You’d scour Exandria to find him.

There you are standing in a dark alleyway, hood blocking direct view of your face as you’re quite literally in the middle of a back alley deal. You’re no stranger to the shady business and shady people can most often be found in these places. You pay your contact in exchange for the information your requested, satisfied with the results. You hear commotion on the main street. Guards. Parting from your contact you wait for the guards to pass. That’s when you notice a lavender tiefling bolt past you. A very familiar lavender tiefling.

Confusion, relief, heartache, panic, happiness, disappointment, a wave of emotion hits you in a way you’re not even sure how you’re supposed to feel at this point. Many questions accompany those feelings. What are you supposed to do? Well, go after him of course! If Lucien’s back and he’s being chased by guards, that’s not a good thing for the current situation. Sticking to the shadows you trail along. Lucien may just have lost his touch but perhaps the city is an unfamiliar one to him and alone, he doesn’t know the way. The tattoos are new, so are the rather colourful clothes but you know he never does anything without reason.

You figure out where he’s going, the direction at least and from your own past encounters here you know the side alleys. You take a path that should have you end up ahead of him. You’ll have to take a few rooftops and private yards but it’s the quickest and you’ve done it plenty of times. Once you get in place you take off your cloak, get ready. You hear the guards shouting for reinforcements. The closer he gets from around the corner you can see the smug grin filled with mischief as he runs. You’ve missed that one.

The moment comes and you grab onto him as he passes pulling him into the alley with you, wrapping your cloak around him and pulling the hood up. Hands on both sides of his face you look at him closely. There’s confusion in his eyes as they focus on you. He’s already out of breath but you pull him into a deep kiss. Lucien hits the wall behind him and readjusts the hood of the cloak to keep his face covered. The response to the kiss only comes with the sound of the guards drawing near and is very confused. The guards pass by. They glance into the alley but awkwardly turn back to following the street upon seeing the two of you together.

As soon as they’re gone Mollymauk breaks away from you. He’s breathing heavily more from the run than the kiss you shared. He’s very confused. Indifferent to being kissed by a stranger, this… unexpected to say the least. He’s got no idea who you are but you saved his ass so you’re alright in his books at the moment. That doesn’t mean he’s not wary of you. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you know him, or well whoever he used to be and with the conflicting emotions running through you he’ll have to think fast to spin his bullshit correctly.

“You have no idea how happy I am you’re alive. Does this mean it worked after all? Did you succeed?” You run your thumbs over Lucien’s cheekbones as he holds onto your wrists lightly. The pressure in your chest grows heavier as you await his answer.

“It did. I did. It didn’t go as planned but I’m here now.” Molly works his charm like his life depends on it because he entertains the thought it might. Your touch, there’s something eerily familiar about it, akin to being reminded of a distant long forgotten dream. Hazy but it feels real. He still has no idea who you are and there’s no bells ringing either. While he much rather run far away avoiding any and all connections to a past not his, he cannot help but commend whoever came before him. The one that got buried definitely had a good taste in lovers? Friends? Molly’s not going to assume even though you kissed him quite passionately.

Your chest clenches and it feels as if your breath won’t leave your body, your blood stopping in your veins, like you got hit by an extra dimensional force attempting to pull everything away from you. You listen to Lucien’s words. It looks like him but why do you feel like you hear someone else? It’s not an illusion or some trick you’re sure. If it were your enemies would have known to pick a better imposter and you’d have been dead already. Your own mind fights against this train of thought, justifying it. Lucien had been dead for weeks until you found the empty grave. Of course there were bound to be side effects or even consequences to the ritual. But then again, it had been two years since then. Two years to recover from whatever happened…

“You don’t know me, do you?” Speaking the words out loud breaks your heart. You don’t fight the pain they cause. There’s no tears. You’ve already grieved Lucien once. You’re not doing it again. This will be nothing more than a painful reminder, a cruel joke from the gods behind the divine gate. Why must the fates torture you so for nothing more than loving an ambitious man reaching for the stars and beyond?

“No. I’m sorry.” Molly can’t help but feel your pain. It’s clear you cared a great amount about his predecessor, the way you speak reveals intense heartbreak at the passing of that one. It also shows acceptance that whoever he used to be is gone and you’ve come to terms with that a while ago. That’s enough for him to recognise you won’t hurt him. Molly had never felt sorry for the death of who he used to be and he won’t start now but he does feel sorry for you. This whole situation is messed up.

You close your eyes and nod, dropping your hands and take a step back. No matter how much your heart may tell you to be close to this tiefling, your mind knows it’s not Lucien. You cannot in good conscious hang onto whatever remains. It’s not fair you him, to Lucien but most of all not fair to yourself. Do you wish it was Lucien standing here in front of you? Of course you do. You’d do anything to get him back but what would directing all your pain achieve directed at this new person in the same body? It would accomplish nothing but more pain. You can’t imagine this tiefling in front of you doesn’t have any friends, loved ones, people who care about him. You weren’t going to put you don’t know how many others through the same pain you’ve been put through.

“I am as much of a ghost of the past to you as you are to me.” You’ve come to the conclusion that based of his responses there may not be any recognition, there is an unknown familiarity to you on his end. Perhaps the final slivers of Lucien remaining but nothing more than a fleeting memory. A hand reaches out for yours. You allow him to take your hand and he rubs circles in the back of it with his thumb in an attempt to bring you some comfort. It’s a gesture out of kindness. Not out of selfish intent or with the expectancy to get something out of it, like Lucien would when faced with a stranger he clearly had the upper hand over.

“You seem to have cared for my predecessor, Lucien, quite a lot. I truly am sorry.” You offer him a saddened smile as a silent thank you. He knows Lucien’s name so he must have learned something of the past. You gather it hasn’t been much and most definitely is second hand knowledge by his lack of information on the ritual, who he used to be, everything really.

“You know his name?” The sentence is voiced somewhere in between a question and a statement.

“A blood cleric named Cree. She ran into us-me and mistook me for him. I played along but I don’t think she really bought it. She didn’t reveal much.” The name of the tabaxi alone is enough to make your blood boil. If Cree had known for however long, why hadn’t she gotten in contact with you? You know exactly why and are debating wether or not you could do with a new fur rug. You also acknowledge that Cree is a risk and this new-not Lucien will have to watch his back.

“Since you’re not Lucien nor do you seem to be using that name, what do I call you?”

“Mollymauk Tealeaf or simply Molly to my friends.” The tiefling-Mollymauk smiles at you, a genuine smile. You have to appreciate the small gestures of comfort and kindness.

“I would give you my own name but for both of our sakes I won’t. You may refer to me as an old friend. I know I have no right to but may I ask you a favour?”

Mollymauk nods. As always he leaves a place better than he found it, tries to bring joy and happiness wherever he can even if that means making a fool of himself. Very few times has he been faced with someone who needs his help as much as you do. While there’s definitely limits to what he can provide, you deserve some compassion. Especially after the shitty cards life had dealt to you. He’ll try to ease that if he can.

“May I- May I ask you to tell me about your life, Mollymauk?” Not the request he expected. Then again, to be fair he didn’t really know what to expect. A kiss maybe? Stick along for a while? Perhaps even a final goodbye so you could close this chapter once and for all? But of all the things you asked about him. Not Lucien. Him.

“It’s a long story…” Molly drifts off reminiscing the wild ride of the past two years, especially the events of the last few months upon joining the Mighty Nein and the adventures they had already gone on; were currently on but if you really wanted to hear all about that, he’d tell you.

“I have plenty of time. How about we walk and talk? Get you back to your traveling companions? Your friends? And if there’s still plenty more to tell, if you want to you can tell me over a few drinks. My treat.” You feel within yourself you’d better be able to let go knowing this Mollymauk is happy and lives content. Lucien might be gone but Mollymauk deserves a good life free of Lucien’s burdens. You’ll do what you can to assure that.

“Never tell a story for free. That sounds like a good deal.” Molly offers you his arm and when you hesitate, expects you not to take it but to his surprise you do. There’s something strangely comforting about the whole ordeal. You’re both strangers to each other but it still feels like you have known each other for years.

On your way to where Mollymauk is staying he feels no need to hold back or deceive and instead tells you what happened to him; how he woke up, dug himself out of a grave and was found by a kind man, joined the circus, became a fortune teller, made friends along the way, found a family, many tales of the mischief he was up to, leaving every place better than he found it. You had some good laughs and were able to ask some questions throughout. All in all you came to the conclusion Mollymauk’s life hasn’t been an easy one but it was a good one and he was happy.

Then he found this group of strangers in a tavern somewhere in Trostenwald. His old family was torn away in the wreckage of a devil toad but he found a new one in these strangers. The Mighty Nein. Their time together has been but a few months but they already feel like family and he’d do anything for them. They might be assholes but they’re good people.

You got to meet them. Molly- as he keeps insisting because you are his friend now, introduced you to this Mighty Nein as he thought it best you heard some of these stories from their mouths too for the sake of perspective. He introduced you to them as such; an old friend from the past. The details were left blurry but Molly’s confidence was enough to leave them at the very least accepting and not mistrusting you. They shared their stories with you. They needed him. They may have come far from the assholes they were, but they still had a ways to go. You knew you could not tear that away from him nor did you feel right to join them, even if temporarily.

It’s time for you to say goodbye. You bid your farewell to the Mighty Nein and while they would ask you to stay just a little longer, you know you cannot. You will not insert yourself into their lives based on the merits of your own lies and life. They are free so let them be free. Molly walks you out so you may have one final conversation before you leave his world behind you.

“You don’t have to go yet. They enjoy your company and honestly, they could learn a thing or two from you.” Molly offers as you stand outside of the tavern, the sky since having grown dark and the stars out. The air is cool, winter is drawing near, before you know it the frost will stick to the ground and you’ll be back in Shadycreek plotting the demise of a certain Cerberus Assembly member. You’ll have to leave this all behind.

“You know I can’t. For all of our sakes.” You offer Molly a smile. You’re happy with what you got to see, the stories you were told but this is where it ends and that’s okay. Molly knows it too. Sometimes it’s better to let go than to hang on. You have your own life just as he has his.

“So I guess this is goodbye then.” Molly takes hold of both of your hands and squeezes lightly before he pulls you in for a hug. You return the embrace. Pulling apart enough to look him in the eyes you stroke his cheek, tracing the tattoos fanning up his neck and jaw.

“I am still but a ghost of the past. A ghost I will remain. I wish you a good life, Mollymauk Tealeaf. May we one day meet again.” You kiss his cheek and despite the appearance of Lucien, it doesn’t feel the same. Despite how it may sound, you’re happy it doesn’t. You step out of Molly’s arms.

“May we meet again.” The words Molly speaks are like a breath upon the wind as you walk backwards, one final look at the lavender tiefling as you blend into the darkness, fading like a ghost.

There may be many more things Molly would like to ask you. He’d like to get to know you and the thought that maybe one day he might, sounds like a good day in his mind. You have your own business to take care of first but maybe one day you will meet again. For now a ghost of the past he doesn’t recall you will remain…

——————

But a few months later you find your way back on the road to Shadycreek Run. There you found a grave marker along the Glory Run Road… The marker held a colourful ostentatious red coat embellished to the nines. It appears to have been left to the weather for some time but you recognise it. Hit with a sense of dread you approach the grave already knowing who it belongs to. The least you can do is pay your final respects to the friend you never got to know more.

You dismount your horse guiding it the reins closer to the marker. That’s definitely Molly’s coat. There’s no denying that now. You walk further up the hill offering a silent prayer to the Moonweaver who Molly admitted to being a follower of.

Approaching the grave you see it dug up. You expect grave robbers, thieves of some kind as you brush your fingers over the fabric of the coat. You get a glance of the grave and see it empty instead. Not robbed; empty. No body, nothing but the marker and the coat. Down the other side of the hill you see a figure, a lavender tiefling, tapestry draped around him watching the skies. The back is turned to you so the tiefling doesn’t see you. A wave of both relieve and dread washes over you as you are met with your own ghost of the past.

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #critical role #mighty nein x reader #mighty nein #mollymauk x reader #lucien x reader

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jonsa101 · 3 years

Text

Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men?

Let’s dive into it.

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer. Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own.

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #This Is US #max goodwin #helen sharpe #randall pearson #beth pearson #georgia goodwin #pacey witter #joey x pacey #new amsterdam meta

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lessonsfrommadamexmas · 3 years

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EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this.

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive.

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”.

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see.

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others.

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first.

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them.

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach.

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared.

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness.

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top.

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns.

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9).

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood.

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”.

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around.

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army.

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there.

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage.

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her.

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them.

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him.

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead.

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests.

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind.

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth...

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner.

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them.

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest.

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent.

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality.

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for.

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself.

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible.

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else.

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious.

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human.

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.

#snk 137 #snk 138 #snk 139 #Eren Jaeger analysis #attack on titan manga and anime #enneagram #LONG post #eren jaeger #snk analysis

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egelantier · 3 years

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Tian Guan Ci Fu

where is it and what is it

it’s a chinese webnovel by mxtx, the same author who did untamed; it exists as a webnovel, finished and kindly translated here, the manhwa, the donghua (animated adaptation) happening right now, and there’s a live action adaptation in plans, directed by the same guy who did untamed. the donghua is gorgeous, the adaptation i’m unsure about but prepared to be hopeful, the manhwa seems to be very pretty. but all the adaptations only cover the very beginning of the novel for now, so i went ahead and read the novel, and i have no regrets. it helps that the translation is very good - not without awkward translatorese, but it has consistent and engaging flow and style, and it’s also pretty good at conveying mxtx’s humor without awkwardness. it reads pretty well.

what’s it about?

the world is split into two parts: mortals and various ghosts and demons and entities share the land, while ‘heaven officials’, aka gods, live in the heavenly kingdom in the sky. pretty much anybody can become a god if they do something really heroic or memorable and/or cultivate (meditation, training, virtuous behavior) really hard. when above, the gods rule their domains and fulfill their believers’ wishes; they work sort of like pratchettian gods, dependent on their followers’ beliefs and getting influenced by them. heavens are strictly hierarchical, with their own economy and pecking order, and the gods aren’t particularly sinless or benevolent; mostly it’s a question of scale.

our hero, xie lian, is a prince of a prosperous kingdom who’s been on a fast track to ascension for most of his very short life; he’s talented, he’s virtuous, he’s kind, he’s strong, and his only peculiar flaw is (somehow naive, but well-meaning) obsession with equality and value of human lives and so on. he becomes a god, unexpectedly, at seventeen, after slaying one especially dangerous god, and rises in heaven at the peak of his faith, influence and happiness.

…and then he finds out about drought and incipient trouble in his own kingdom, and, being a young and righteous god too close to his mortality, eschews heavens and returns to save everybody. it, to put it lightly, does not go well. at all. in fact, it goes catastrophically wrong, and, having lost everything, xie lian ascends again, only to get into a fight with the heavenly emperor, and get banished again, this time for good. he roams the mortal lands for next eight hundred of very lonely, luckless and hard years, technically immortal but not invincible, with his powers and his luck stripped away, and leans to make do, eking out a living as a scrap collector. his temples are desecrated, his name is forgotten, his kingdom is long gone, and - well. so it goes.

so it goes! until one day, to everybody’s great surprise, he ascends once again: a humble, gentle, immune to embarrassment, unflappable man, an embarrassment to heavens, a 'laughingstock of three realms’ who just wants to be left well enough alone. he’s Tired.

instead of rest, he gets sent to investigate a dangerous ghost stealing brides who pass through its mountain, and there, during the course of the interrogation, has his first (he thinks) meeting with a terrifying, old-powerful and vengeful ghost king named hua cheng, who likes to terrorize heavens from time to time. but said ghost king seems to be very benevolent and very interested in helping xie lian, and xie lian is pretty instantly smitten… with knowing what’s the cause of such interest.

…and meanwhile, in the beginning, there'was an unlucky boy, born under the worst stars, whom xie lian saved from falling once, while still mortal, and promptly lost track of. a lot of things happened to this boy, who wanted to be the most devoted worshipper to xie lian the god of the sword and the flower. as one does, you know.

that’s the beginning! from there on: investigations, heavenly secrets, old friends and enemies and acquaintances, thematic parallels, old tragedies, more pining than you can shake a stick at, grand acts of love.

is it good?

it’s very, very good. it’s the first fantasy cnovel i read (aside from the hilarious one about a guy traveling back in his own timeline and becoming a sugar baby to a mafia boss, which was in a very different league), so i don’t know which things are baseline and which things are unique, but it had a very solid foundation: ambitious multilevel, multi-timeline plot coming together in the end both events- and emotions-wise, beautifully iddy main relationship, maybe multifaceted characters who change and grow and clash together in fun ways, a clear and heartfelt understanding of its own core themes.

it’s also, unexpectedly, very funny, in this visual, slapsticky, begs-to-be-adapted way - i found myself laughing out loud over it a lot of times, and it possesses this gift of swerve between understated but earnest emotions and all-out jokes that i associate with… a bit of prattchett and a bit of gintama, honestly. take it as you will.

(oh my god the mecha. i will laugh over this one until i die.)

it also made me cry several times; granted, it’s not like it’s this time, but those were very heartfelt tears.

and the main duo?

first let me say that xie lian was lifted out, wholesale, out of my deepest character preferences. he fell really, really far, and did some bad things, and some very horrible things were done to him, and by the time we meet him he went through everything and achieved this effortless kind of traumatized, humble, accepting, wryly self-deprecating, utterly competent chill that makes a character incredibly appealing to me. he’s kind, and he’s sweet, and he’s gotten any possible embarrassment at least a couple of centuries ago, and he kinda made peace with himself and kinda didn’t. i love him.

and, thankfully for me, hua cheng, the ghost king, loves him a whole damn lot, a ridiculous amount, an epic, over-the-lifetimes, life-shattering amount, and he’s a terrifying presence to everybody else and a shy, protective, sweet dork to xie lian, and every time they’re together on page my entire heart is just. it’s AMAZING. he’s a great combination of playing the obsessive protective yandere stalker-lover trope straight and putting it on its head, by making hua cheng not just revere but respect xie lian, in all his good and bad decisions.

they are just so - good for each other, holy shit. they get each other so well. they’re the best ever power team. i love them.

(the rest of canon is various character reenacting “really? in front of my salad?” meme at them. it’s hysterical, and it’s the best. everybody teams up to tell xie lian that his boyfriend is Problematic way, way before xie lian clues into the fact that he does have a boyfriend, and he’s having none of it. i love it.)

and the themes?

okay, so. roughly half of this novel is ridiculous iddy pining, and a fourth of it is various tropes (off the top of my head: soulbond, sex pollen, body switch, de-age, various shades of identity porn… crossdressing…) played very shamelessly. but it also really benefits from having an overarching set of ethical questions, and while it deals with them a bit shounen-style, it still deals with them, and it makes the whole text fresh, and sweet, and bold.

is it possible to save everybody? should you try to save everybody? if you lack the powers to back your convictions, does it make you complicit? when is it possible to stop the cycle of suffering, what can you do if you want to but can’t? if you tried and people you failed turned on you, whose fault it is, where does the blame stop?

Detailed spoilers begin from here, and i would REALLY advise to stay unspoiled, because the domino reveals are very fun

i loved the various ways the novel sets all those pieces up and then overturns them and then returns to them. xie lian wanted to save everybody and it was arrogant naivete of an untried, untested, privileged young man who never had a real challenge before; his presence made things escalate quicker, and yet everybody around him pretended it was his attempt to make things better that ruined everything, and not a combination of factors outside of his control. and yet he accepts the blame, because it dovetails with his shame at not having enough powers to back his intent up; and yet his triumph over bai wuxian is that he doesn’t, after all, renege on his initial drive to help people.

my most favorite part of this novel is that its turning point, the lynchpin of the whole novel, the moment that keeps xie lian’s soul and safety intact, is not his personal purity and drive; it’s not even hua cheng’s devotion and sacrificial love. it’s just a moment of little, grudging, human kindness from a little, petty, rude man whom the history will sweep away soon. the bamboo hat in the rain. the rest of the plot keeps twisting and turning and coming back to itself, but this? this was unquestionably, beautifully clear, and i loved it. it’s never about the gods, it’s all down to - fallen human is human, ascended human is human, and human is not some state, virtuous or sinful, you get stuck with - it’s a multitude of choices, and there’s never a final one.

and incoherent spoilery screaming for people who read it already

oh my god i had SO MUCH FUN. i’ve been flailing on meme for days, because somebody just finished reading there too, and i’m still bursting with ALL THE FEELS. ruoye origins oh my god! that hat! jin wu’s backstory and ultimate end! e-ming’s praise kink! pei ming’s little shippery 'hoho’! hua cheng’s horribly handwritten stick and poke tattoo of xie lian’s name! the lanteeeeeeeeeeeeerns. feng xin and mu qing on the bridge, making up with each other and with xie lian! hua cheng trying to explain to xie lian that his habit of using himself as bait and pincushion at any given moment is deeply emotionally upsetting to him, and succeeding! banyue’s learning from xie lian to be a truly horrible cook! the entire deal with shi qingxuan and he xuan and the wind fan in the end. THE CAVE. THE GIANT MECHA. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and aaaaaaaaaaaaa and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and i am beset, beset by feelings. come scream with me.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #xie lian #hua cheng #cdramas #cnovels #mxtx

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ihopuhopwehop · 3 years

Text

Leap of Faith

AO3

Warning: Talks about blood purity.

It was the most hyped up and controversial game of the year. Slytherin versus Gryffindor. In a fight for the Quidditch Cup.

James was quite exhilarated about it all though, despite the hostility surrounding the game.

James lived for large crowds, chanting, rivalry, and winning.

He loved winning.

The feel of being revered when he made a game winning catch. Of being able to walk the halls with people congratulating him or even better, envying him.

Well, the Slytherins congratulated him. And sometimes Hufflepuffs, but Hufflepuffs congratulated both teams for the sake of sportsmanship.

The Gryffindors would envy him. For a while at least, until there was some fight between the sides, showcasing how disgusting some of his housemates truly were, and then Gryffindors didn’t envy the Slytherins anymore.

But despite all of the quidditch-induced rivalry and buzz, James was excited for the game for an entirely different reason.

Going against Lily Evans.

Lily Evans. Christmas on a stick. Sass level unmatched. And also, Gryffindor’s seeker.

James was the Slytherin seeker.

Which meant he’d be allowed to observe Lily Evans all game long without being scolded by his housemates.

Of course, he was always being scolded and harassed by his housemates because he thought muggleborns and half-breeds alike were worthy of life, liberty, and love. Though his house did not seem to agree.

Besides Regulus Black to some extent. Though Regulus usually sided with his family in public, James knew he did not agree with them entirely. This led to James trying to protect Regulus and lead him down a more morally powerful side, but that only worked for so long.

Regulus had gotten the dark mark, and now there was no amount of protecting James could do.

But through all of his efforts to help the younger Black heir, he befriended the older Black ex-heir. Sirius Black was good fun to be around, though he sometimes lacked ambition surrounding his studies and future achievements.

James didn’t blame him, but thought it was dumb not to at least try to get top marks and excel anywhere he could. Especially if Sirius wanted to outrun the infamy of his last name.

Oh well, at least he was noble…most of the time.

But back to Lily Evans.

James had only gotten to know Lily through Severus Snape, and as such, was skeptical of her character at first.

But when Lily Evans allowed her sass to go against her childhood friend and his beliefs, James knew she could be trusted.

He also knew she could be trusted because after the incident that caused her to end her and Snape’s friendship, she had requested a new potions partner. Slughorn had only been too happy to switch Snape with James, much to Snape’s anger and James’ joy.

Not to mention Lily’s eyes matched his house colors, which he thought made her even more likeable.

The first day they had worked together, Lily had seemed put out to be partnered with him. But after James made sure to stay on top of the potion, and even prevented a catastrophe when Lily confused two different dragon scales, she seemed to at least tolerate him.

And then the quidditch pitch happened.

James had been on his way to practice a few extra moves before his official practice but had been prevented when he found the snitch already being used by his favorite Gryffindor. Well, besides Sirius.

Lily had been trying to practice a diving roll to catch the snitch, which was typically done if the snitch was close to the ground so that one could jump off their broom and land safely on the grass, but Evans didn’t seem to be able to truly jump off her broom.

Her bravery had been lacking that day, and his had been soaring.

He had ruffled his hair as he had begun to speak, “Quite ambitious of you to be practicing outside of your time slot, don’t you think?”

She hadn’t even batted an eye as she responded, “And quite brave to be teasing a girl who could unleash the bludgers while you’re unprepared.”

“Touché. Now are you going to ever actually jump off your broom or continue to miss the snitch because you’re scared.”

She had now dismounted her broom and blew some of her auburn fringe out of her eyes. “If it’s so easy, then you do it Mr. Brave Slytherin.”

James smirked as he mounted his broom, “Alright. Release the snitch.”

Lily had quirked an eyebrow as she pushed the snitch forward. The snitch flittered close to James nose, enough to reflect in his glasses, and then zoomed forward and towards the ground. James leaned as far forward as he could, prompting his broom to speed up, and then at the last second, pushed off the broom with his feet and clasped the snitch safely in his palms. He completed the move with a barrel roll and a quiet “accio” to retrieve his broom, which he smugly caught when he stood up to wink at the dumbfounded girl.

“That—That was—How--”

James smirked at her floundering and ruffled his hair, “Takes resourcefulness and ambition and, something I thought Gryffindors were supposed to have in abundance, bravery.”

He inwardly grinned when her eyes narrowed, “Alright. Fine. Teach me.”

He beamed at those words.

“A Gryffindor asking a Slytherin for help. What would Godric think?”

She stuck her tongue out at him, “A Slytherin being kind, what would Salazar think?”

He chuckled and motioned towards her broom. He had her practice balancing on her feet a few times and then pushing forward with her feet as well.

That had been an awkward exercise for him as he had to stand behind her to make sure she was doing it properly. It had given him a perfect view of her in her quidditch trousers. He had to admit his chivalry was really lacking during that exercise, but he figured he retained a normal amount of it. Not everyone had Gryffindor levels of chivalry.

Finally, it was time for her to actually jump. He should not have been surprised when she achieved it on the first try, but never-the-less, he was.

“Brilliant! Good job, Evans! You’re a natural!” He may have gotten over excited and pulled her into a hug, but well, he felt pride when he was able to help a fellow student.

He remembered the way his chin had sat on her head and her head laid on his chest. It was, in his humble opinion, a good hug.

Lily had blushed at his compliment, or maybe his hug, he wasn’t sure, and told him, “Well yeah. I’ve been practicing on my own for awhile. Just had to gain a little courage and confidence.”

“Just had to use your courage and confidence. You’ve always had plenty, you just let your fears get in the way.”

She had smiled lightly at him, “You know, you’re not that bad. For a Slytherin.”

He snorted, “You’re not that bad for a Gryffindor.”

She had side-eyed him, “I assume you aren’t a blood purist? You didn’t even hesitate to hug me.”

James furrowed his brows at her, “What made you think I might be?”

She shrugged, “Everyone in your house seems to be. Wouldn’t be surprised if you were, especially since you’re a pureblood too.”

James clenched his jaw. People always assumed that about him. On one hand, he couldn’t blame her, on the other, he thought every person deserved the chance to show who they really were, regardless of house or family.

“Right. I guess you just see what you want. Wouldn’t be surprised if you thought Sirius was a purist too.”

Lily could tell she touched a nerve. She had shaken her head, “No. It’s just. We have to be cautious. Could cost me my life if I assumed you weren’t a death eater.”

James raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t thought of it from that perspective. “That makes sense. Sorry for snapping at you.”

She had seemed surprised at his apology. “It’s alright. And um, I think your team is here. I should probably go, but thanks for the help. I’ll be sure to use it when we beat you.” Then she had winked and made her way back to the castle.

James had ignored everything his teammates had said that day in favor of replaying her wink.

After that day, Lily seemed to consider him a friend.

Lily had made it a point to keep a conversation going during potions. Had studied with him in the library. And she had even invited him to sit with her, Sirius, Remus, and Peter at the Gryffindor table.

He thought they were getting along smashingly and hoped it would not crush their budding relationship when Slytherin won.

The game had started in a whirlwind, with the noises from the audience growing to deafening sounds and the wind beating against his face. He tried to drown it all out by focusing on searching for the snitch but when he noticed Lily flying towards him, he couldn’t help but acknowledge her.

He had begun to wave, but Lily continued straight towards him, until she was close enough to lightly shoulder check him.

He rocked a little on his broom but was able to gain enough balance to shoulder check her back.

“Better watch where you’re going Evans. Hate for you to miss when I catch the snitch.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t miss what doesn’t happen.” Then she had turned a 180 and flew towards the sky to get better optics.

They had each tailed the other a few times and yelled at fellow teammates, cheering and booing respectively when someone scored.

Slytherin was up by 120 points. Surprisingly, if James was honest. But apparently, Gryffindor’s chasers were suffering today, much to Lily’s dismay.

Malfoy had yelled at James to stop ogling Lily, though Lucius had used a word James made a point to never say.

Sirius had shot several bludgers Malfoy’s way after that, and Regulus shot a few back towards his brother, though slightly slower compared to when he aimed at other Gryffindors.

Then, James saw it. A golden glint thanks to the sun, near the Slytherin goals.

Unfortunately, Lily had seen it too, and they both shot off towards it.

Eventually, they were both right behind it, with James longer arms being closer than Lily’s. They followed it higher for a few minutes, the air getting harsher, and each of them inching closer,

until Lily yelled a loud, “CATCH ME!”

James looked at her like she was insane, only for her to wink and jump completely off her broom, into the freezing sky.

“EVANS!!”

James abandoned his quest for the snitch and instead focused on grabbing some part of Lily Evans that had dived towards the snitch.

Gravity had barely begun to pull the absolutely mad girl down, when James finally grabbed her fanned out shirt.

He felt his arm strain and he grunted as he worked to pull her up onto his broom, “You’ll be the death of both of us Evans, I swear.” He heaved and used his other hand to support the arm that was holding Lily.

Finally, after tremendous effort, Lily was sat behind him on his firebolt, grinning victoriously and holding the snitch up proudly.

The crowd was cheering raucously, with many people standing and whistling. The Gryffindor team was running towards the Quidditch Cup McGonagall was holding up, with Sirius hugging the usually professional woman. James noticed his teammates looking equally parts angry and shocked.

He ignored them and instead turned to Lily while he began their descent.

“You’re either certifiably insane or incredibly brave Evans, though at this point the lines are blurred.”

Lily grinned at him, “The jump wasn’t that big of a deal. But trusting a Slytherin was.”

And then she kissed him. Which was also very dangerous in the air, but James figured some things were worth the risk.

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calliopecalling · 3 years

Text

Queen of the South 5x05 Debrief

I'm way late with this... been a busy week. But I do have some 5x05 thoughts beyond my Teresa appreciation post on Thursday, lol.

First, to continue in the long-running discussion about clothing themes, has anyone else noticed that Teresa wears all white when she's talking about going legit or makes a business move in the legit direction? I haven't had time to fully back-track through the episodes but she wears all white when she shows up at the hotel and a different all-white outfit when she signs the paperwork to buy the hotel. She's wearing her all-white blazer in 5x02 when she's talking to James about her plan to go legit. What others? Is this a pattern or am I making this up in my head? Maybe I'm reaching but I really want the queenpin-in-white visions to be the version of herself that got out of the drug business. 😁

Second, I appreciated seeing the Teresa who takes care of her own again this episode -- allying herself with Oksana by telling Oleg she'd only make a deal with him under the condition that he work with her; telling Kelly Anne that she didn't want her working twice as hard to prove herself just because she was pregnant. The queenpin that has grown overly ambitious and focused on her need to achieve safety by hording power but retains her care of and loyalty towards her "family" is a much more believable queenpin to me than one who lashes out at her family. So I'm glad we're not totally losing sight of this part of her?

Third, and look, I watch this show for Teresa and not for Jeresa; and when I started watching the show originally I was actually sort of skeptical of a romantic story-line for her that went past season 2 because I'd already read the book and LOVED it and her character truly stands on its own in the book without needing a love interest to carry through the full story; but this show really is better with a strong Jeresa element than without it. I loved episode 2 not just because they gave us another Jeresa kiss (although, ahem, thank you for that) but because the character James really gives us a looking-glass straight into Teresa's actual inner self and the two of them had lots of screen time in that episode. Episodes 3 and 4 were maybe trying to show us how dark she can get when she's trying to force distance between them and turn away from love? Now this episode we finally got a little bit of them interacting again but I felt like they could've revealed a LITTLE more.

James isn't just her love interest, he's the only character in the show now who's been around since the beginning of season 1 (not counting Pote because he didn't really become an important show character until the very end of that season even though he existed as a person obviously). He's our connection to Teresa's past self, and her connection to that past self, now that Tony is dead. I get it that that's part of why Teresa may be avoiding him. That really totally makes sense. And even so, I think seeing more of the tension between the two of them on-screen would make the central conflict of the season--the tension between Teresa now and the Teresa she used to be--a lot clearer.

So, I appreciated the flickers of that in this episode. The looks they exchanged in every scene they had together. The subtle ("black market antiques dealer, used to work out of Berlin") and not so subtle (motorcycle stoppie) moments of James peacocking for her and her slightly-longer-than-necessary eye contact with him after each of them. Her sincere but slightly breathless "thank you" after he delivered the artwork to her, which I interpreted as partly relief and partly being caught off guard by his sexiness (and competence!). And then her following him out to the balcony to have a... 15-second conversation about taking over Europe 😑 Come on! Their 5x06 conversation on the couch with drinks had better be longer than 15 seconds is all I can say. 🤞

I'm not complaining. I really enjoyed the episode. I still think we'll get payoff. (I mean, Dailyn wrote episode 3x09, so she's gotta be a shipper too, right?! She also wrote 3x12, which is the one in which Teresa finally tells James she doesn't want to lose him. I try not to follow anything she says on social, though, because I feel like she's a bit of a game-player with the fans lol.) But I am ready for more of their duo featuring! I can't wait to see what they bring.

Other thoughts:

POTE. Stop being a freaking chauvinist weirdo about your kid being a boy. Finally people are calling him out on that.

Also, POTE. Stop being such a douche to James! What's with all the grumbling at the man?! (Seriously, what is the point of that from a story perspective...?)

I really really love Teresa and Oksana together. I loved their dynamic back in Season 4 and I loved it this episode. I think part of it is that, without Camila, and without Castel (why didn't Castel become a major character in Season 4 though?), we don't have another female crime boss for Teresa to collaborate with and it's just, it's refreshing having her dealing with another woman. Also Vera Cherny is a babe. And I love the very very low-key sexual tension between them.

George and Boaz. Yes, Boaz is a loose cannon clearly. I'm not sure how George isn't picking up on that but I still loved all George's great lines.

How Boaz thinks he can take over Teresa's business and run a global cartel lololol clearly the guy is delusional and understands nothing about how she actually got as far a she did. But good luck trying buddy. I mean, maybe that's not even his end-game, maybe he's just tired of reporting to a boss who's way less volatile than him? Maybe he's just, as Pote says, a ticking time bomb? Either way, you got it good man, I wouldn't go messing around with a good thing. He's going to, of course, but it's almost funny if he ends up being the final villain.

That said, if he IS the final villain, there's something poetic about that too -- that the ultimate enemy is back home in Mexico where it all started? I kinda like that, tbh.

I know I said I wasn't going to speculate about the rest of the season. Clearly I'm bad at not doing that and who knows, maybe Boaz is just a temporary problem. But I would be surprised if we're already halfway through and the final villain is yet to be introduced.

Unless it's Oksana? It had better not be Oksana.

Or just Teresa herself?

I've seen people talk about Pote and/or KA dying and James and Teresa running off to raise their baby together. FWIW I can get around that as an ending way better than just a "James and Teresa happily ever after" ending. I doubt the series will kill off both of them but at this point for the sake of the story I hope at least one of them does get killed. And sorry Pote but at the moment I hope it's you 😬

#qots spoilers #probably reaching too much with the clothing symbolism #can you tell how much I am hoping for an ending where Teresa gets out of the business lol #also I'm debating attempting a Teresa/James/Oksana smut fic #with apologies to everyone who loathes the idea of contaminating Jeresa #but that Teresa-Oksana 1-2 punch-kick action in Durand's office after the allusion to Oksana's taste in women was too good #and I have no problem believing Teresa could be just a LITTLE queer #gonna stop this now before I do more damage in my tags #queen of the south #qots #season 5 #5x05 #txt post #qots reaction post

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neocatharsis · 3 years

Text

The Brilliant Members of World Renowned NCT 127 Share Their Thoughts Fashion, Music, Lifestyle, Favorite Things… What Their Individual Styles Are　#009 MARK

Some Excerpts

To know the world, to be a writer. What are your thoughts on that?

MN: Now then, after thoroughly reading your questionnaire, how to put this, it’s not that often that you see so many amazing responses in one place that happen to be philosophical in nature. That’s how amazing we thought your responses were, MARK-san.

M: Woh~!!

MN: For the question, “If you were to introduce yourself to the readers of MEN’S NON-NO as if you were doing so to someone you just met for the first time, what would that be?”, you answered, “I’m a young man who is still learning about the world”. How concise yet such lovely words. Please tell us in what way you are coming face-to-face with the world right now.

M: Wow, thank you very much. I often feel how scary it is the way time just flies by. Like time is flashing by in an instant. However, I feel that the “youth” of each person is exactly when that person feels like “it is right now”. Of course, it depends on the person, but I think that there is a sense of youth that I can feel at any given time, whether I’m in my 30’s or my 40’s, and I think that will change depending on how I feel and how I perceive it. What I can say now is that somewhere inside, I feel like, ��I still have yet to know the world”. That’s why I always feel that I’m in still the process of learning more about the world, and that I have a lot of new things to learn with so many different aspects. There is so much wisdom, information, and knowledge in this world, and it’s as if I’m digesting these things one by one within my mind without rushing the process, and I’m shaping my identity by selecting what I need. I feel like I’m amidst this process.

MN: It feels like facing the vastness of the outside world is also connected to facing yourself. Also, to the question, “What is your source of inspiration for creative work?”, you wrote, “EVERYTHING”.

M: That’s true. I’m currently trying to understand so many things and ingest them within myself. So, well, I guess I’m in the middle of my lessons.

MN: You talked about how you perceive the world, but the concept of the group is exactly “TO THE WORLD”. For the question, “What is important to you in expressing yourself and conveying your style as a global artist?”, you wrote, “I believe that we should know ourselves and be honest with ourselves”. To the world, to know yourself. It seems that “to know” is important you.

M: With regard my policy of being honest with myself in order to know myself, I believe it is necessary with all aspects. For example, as an artist, “I wasn’t honest with my previous performance, but this time I am”, just doesn’t cut it. After all, I think that in order to absorb various things, you should always be honest with your feelings and with yourself. Inspiration often comes from the outside, but I think it’s important to think about how you interpret it, what types of emotions you are willing to accept, and how you are going to express them. I feel like I’m always trying to figure out how I interpret a song and its concept with honesty, and then how I’m going to perform that song. I think the other members are the same, but TAEYONG-san, who also writes lyrics as I do, likely has many opportunities to feel the same way when writing poetry.

MN: Since you brought up writing lyrics, I’d like to ask you a couple of things accordingly. To the actual question, “What dream would you like to achieve in your life other than music?”, you responded, “To write literary work”. We can tell that you like to write from the questionnaire that was jam-packed with words, but please tell us what is important to you when putting your feelings into words, and if there is anything you would challenge yourself to try.

M: Let’s see… Though I mention writing, it’s mostly lyrics these days. However, in order to complete those lyrics, I need to keep writing down my ideas. Those ideas become the source of everything I write and I start from there. Each letter/character and sentence always are the basis of my lyrics and other works, and I think that they contain my various viewpoints as well as perspectives. I also try to express these different viewpoints and perspectives in words.

MN: That’s a vital essence on how to create works of art.

M：For example, even if the theme is the same, the interpretation will change depending on how you look at things, or rather, your point of view, and I think this will appeal differently to people. So, the lyrics then are taken further as they fit the music. Thus, the way it is conveyed will then change depending on the beat and sounds. I rather enjoy that part of it. As far as things “I would like to challenge myself to” in the future… Of course, right now, I think that writing lyrics is already a good way for me to express myself in terms of writing itself, and it’s very gratifying as well, but… If in the future, really further into the future, that is, once I have achieved a lot of experience, it would be wonderful if I could publish a book.

MN: Wow! We look forward to that!

M: My original dream was to become an author! And I am really satisfied that I am able to write lyrics and sing those lyrics, but it would be something if I could publish a book someday when I’m older….

MN: As a young man still in the process of learning about the world, we hope for the day when you, MARK-san, have seen and listened to more things, will be able to share your experiences with us.

M: One day, eventually. Whether it be a novel, or some kind of autobiography, or even something that’s philosophical…or something that represents my thoughts… As of now, it is all up in the air, but I do hope to be able to write a book of that sort one day.

MN: So, your passion for writing something is being devoted to the creation of lyrics.

M: Well, to be honest, I don’t’ really think I’ve been able to express myself fully yet. As I mentioned earlier, I’m still in the process of learning and absorbing various things, and in many ways, I feel my writing skills are still in its infancy as well. However, the important thing to remember is that it’s often not until you write down what you’re thinking about that you realize what it is that you were thinking about. When I write, a lot of things come to mind, and they then naturally becomes letters/characters and then sentences. So, I didn’t notice it before I began writing, but as I continued to write, I realized, “Oh, I had this idea in me” and “I had that idea in me”. The thoughts and feelings that were hiding within began coming to light. Right now, I find that process very stimulating”

MN： And what we hear is what has been output from that process.

M: I guess that’s how it works. And there’s one thing I know without a doubt. I am currently trying to express myself on a daily basis while feeling how “interesting” everything is. Besides, I think that if you don’t have fun yourself while experiencing all these different things, it simply won’t be able to write and express yourself well. That’s why I feel that, in addition to “writing”, it’s important for me to experience more interesting and different things.

MN: Well put. We will introduce the songs written by you, MARK-san, and TAEYONG-san, who came up earlier, at the end of this topic.

What kind of place is NCT 127 for MARK?

MN: We would like to ask what NCT 127 means to you, MARK-san?

M: Yes, certainly!

MN: There was one thing that was deeply impressive and we’d like to share that with the readers first. Two years ago, YUTA-san gave his first solo interview with MEN’S NON-NO and that article became a record-breaking hit. After it posted, when we told him about it at the Saitama Super Arena concert (NCT 127 1st Tour ‘NEO CITY:JAPAN‐The Origin’), you were next to him and we were surprised that you jumped up before him. We felt your deep affection for the other members.

M: Ahh~, thank you for looking over me with such warmth!

MN: We can’t forget how you shook YUTA-san’s shoulders and said, “You did it!”, while YUTA-san was still in shock, saying, “What? Really?” (laughter). All the staff members were talking about how “MARK’s response was the fastest~!”

M: Haha! First off, I mean, YUTA-san is just so adorable. I really do love him. It is of course important to be happy when someone important to you has had something good happen to him, and I’m sure YUTA-san would do the same for me. So, right now in that way, for me, the members mean a lot to me and I want everyone to be happy, and to be really happy all the time.

MN: It shows how you care about one another.

M: Since we are friends who have truly shared various things together and have experienced both joy as well as hardship, we’re so close that we can almost always tell what each other is thinking about. I think that it is more comfortable for each and every one of us to be each other than to be with anybody else, which I’m sure is the same for everybody else.

MN: In contrast, to the question, “What is behind the coolness of NCT 127?”, you responded, “I find it cool to be able to accomplish something difficult, so I think it is cool how I challenge myself and my team challenges itself in order to do so!”

M: We as NCT 127 are an ambitious group. We strive to pursue that ambition and are constantly trying to upgrade our own capabilities. I think these activities have made me a smarter person, and when they look at one another, I feel that we as an entire group are becoming more mature and blossoming through that effort. NCT 127 has really become an indispensable part of my life now. It’s a place in which I am able to grow and where happiness exists.

What are your thoughts about communication?

MN: To the question, “Please list three things that make up who you are, MARK-san”, you wrote, “Family, members, fans”. It appears you’re all about “people”, MARK-san. Due to the impact of the coronavirus pandemic, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see our loved ones. With group activities, not being able to do offline concerts or events. Under these circumstances, what do you find is important, MARK-san, when it comes to connecting with your family, members, and fans?

M: I find it truly “unfortunate and sad” that we are unable to do our regular activities and unable to see each other. But since there’s really nothing we can do about this situation, I think we have to accept it. On the other hand, in times like these, I think it’s really important to “communicate” with your loved ones and to find a way to communicate with them. For example, even between husband and wife, it is often said that it is not good to rely too much on “knowing without saying”. I mean, I’ve heard that there are some things that you simply can’t know unless you put them into words… Although, I don’t know about that kind of thing yet (LOL)

MN: Yes, we hear that a lot (LOL).

M: Even I used to nebulously think that my fans likely knew how much I wanted to see them and that I miss them when I can’t see them. However, I have come to realize that it is definitely necessary for people to communicate with each other and to properly express their feelings. I feel more aware of the importance of expressing my feelings in words without assuming that they will understand. With this in mind, I’ve been trying to express my feelings in words through SNS and online content as much as possible, so that my fans can think, “Oh, I’m so glad I waited for you.” I’d like to communicate with my fans through the use of my own words, so that I can stay connected and in a good relationship with all my fans for a long time to come.

MN: Your feeling are already clearly conveyed in those words.

M: If that’s the case, I am happy!

MN: The questionnaire we received back from you was positive overall, and full of strong willed words, but there was one particular answer that was really striking. It was the answer you wrote, “I would like others to see me as a happy person, but in fact, I have a lot of things to worry about.” to the question, “What kind of gap is there between the real you and how you want to be seen by others?” To the question, “What would you like to overcome?”, you responded, “Worrying too much about unnecessary things.” Of course, nobody is fine all the time, but you have an image of being cheerful and energetic, MARK-san. So, the question is, how do you fill in the gaps when it comes to that?

M: Ugh~. That’s partly due to my personality. When I meet people, when I come face-to-face with them, whether it’s the fans or people who are normally around me, I don’t like to show them that I’m not doing well because I’ve had a bad day, for example. I mean, I don’t think it’s in my nature to show my negative side. The reason is that there is nothing wrong with the other person. So, to express the problem I’m having in front of that person is… well, I think it’s just wrong. That’s why I always want to bring as much positive energy as possible to the person in front of me, and to be in a cheerful state.

MN: It’s common to take your anger out on others when you are in a bad mood, but you are making an effort to control yourself there! With regard to, “a memorable piece of advice you received from somebody”, you responded, “TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.” There feels like a connection here.

M: Yes, there is. In particular, for my fans, I want to show a good image of myself. They always support us, and even for our concerts and events, they often come from afar to meet us. Why would we want to take the trouble to show our negative side under those circumstances? If we did, we would wind up in regret after getting off the stage. That’s why I always want to deliver energy to my fans, and even if I do have worries or concerns, I do what I can to not to show them. There’s always another place where I can release it. So, if I’m in a bad state, I tend to shift my emotions. I try to eliminate my worries and concerns as much as possible, but if I find it difficult or impossible to do, I think it’s something that should be resolved by talking to the members of the group, talking to my family, or talking to the people around me.

#nct #nct 127 #Mark

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simschallenges · 3 years

Text

Zodiac Legacy Challenge

(note: because the original poster has deactivated, i am reposting an archived version of the challenge rules retrieved with the wayback machine. all of the following text is a copy of the original post by @autumnalpixels.)

As someone who is a bit of a nerd when it comes to astrology and witchcraft in general, I of course love learning about western zodiacs. So I thought I’d bring my love of the zodiac signs to the sims.

I know that a challenge with this name has been made before, however mine will be more structured for each generation. This is a 12-generation legacy, with each generation representing one of the different zodiacs.

Side note: This legacy is not meant to misrepresent or offend anyone. The generations are being based off of descriptions of the zodiacs from this website. Feel free to read up more about each zodiac to get a better sense of your sim’s personality!

Starting out:

Feel free to make your founder however you’d like. Traits for each heir will be listed in their section, but their looks are up to you so feel free to get creative! You’ll start out like a traditional legacy on one of the 50x50 lots (or 64x64 if you’d like). Here is a link to Pinstar’s legacy rules.

General Challenge Rules:

Honestly this is the only way to fail the challenge, other than not producing an heir.

Generation One: Aquarius

“Aquarius’ are shy and quiet, but on the other hand they can be eccentric and energetic. However, in both cases, they are deep thinkers and highly intellectual people who love helping others. They are able to see without prejudice, on both sides, which makes them people who can easily solve problems.”

Who ever said eccentricity was a bad thing? You are a little out there and can be pretty spacey sometimes, but overall you are very passionate about your morals and strive to make other people’s lives better. Just be careful not to become a pushover.

Traits: Self-assured, Insane, Ambitious Aspiration: Leader of the Pack Career: Politician

Goals:

Reach level ten of the Politician career, either branch

Complete your aspiration

Have a club gathering at least once a week (your club can literally be for anything! Get creative!)

Have three kids, get married as an adult

Have at least four good friends (they don’t have to be a part of your club)

Reach level ten of the Wellness skill

Generation Two: Pisces

“Pisces are very friendly, so they often find themselves in a company of very different people. Pisces are selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back.”

You love to socialize and surround yourself with all different kinds of people. Your parents loved you and raised you to be kind and perhaps a bit sensitive. You can be insecure at times, especially when it comes to your significant other. For some reason, you can’t seem to stay in a relationship for very long. Is there a way to fix this?

Traits: Creative, Jealous, Gloomy Aspiration: Soulmate Career: Painter

Goals:

Have at least two friends of a different race/gender/sexuality than your sim

Reach level ten of the Painting skill

Reach level ten of the Painter career, either branch

Must go through at least two girl/boyfriends before settling down

Have two kids

Own a pool (at least a 4x4 size)

Generation Three: Aries

“As the first sign in the zodiac, the presence of Aries always marks the beginning of something energetic and turbulent. They are continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition, always being the first in everything - from work to social gatherings.”

You’re competitive and hard working, and can sometimes come across as a bit arrogant. However, you have a bit of an inferiority complex, so every time your sibling or a friend succeeds, you aren’t too happy about it and always try to one up them. But after a while, you realize that you acting this way is pushing away the people you care about. Can you salvage these relationships before it’s too late and the damage is done?

Traits: Hot-headed, Ambitious, Perfectionist Aspiration: Renaissance Sim Career: Secret Agent

Goals:

Be enemies with your sibling until you are both YA

Only have one friend until you are a YA, since they were the only one who stuck around

Repair your relationships as fast as possible

Reach level ten of the fitness skill

Reach level ten of the Secret Agent career (any branch)

Complete your aspiration

Go for a jog for a total of three hours each week

Have one kid

Generation Four: Taurus

“Practical and well-grounded, Taurus is the sign that harvests the fruits of labor. They feel the need to always be surrounded by love and beauty, turned to the material world and physical pleasures. Stable and conservative, this is one of the most reliable signs of the zodiac, ready to endure and stick to their choices until they reach the point of personal satisfaction.”

You grew up truly appreciating food and what it meant. You were amazed how a simple meal could bring a family together, and how many memories were made because of that. You were close to your parents and were taught to always stand your ground and share your opinions. However, this caused you to become a little bull-headed (pun intended). You’re super stubborn and don’t like to be wrong, and won’t admit that you are ever wrong. This makes romance hard for you, but you keep trying because you are a hopeless romantic at heart. And once you find that special someone, you are loyal ‘til the end.

Traits: Romantic, Foodie, Materialistic Aspiration: Mansion Baron Career: Business

Goals:

use the cheat sims.get_sim_id_by_name {PlayedSimFirstName} {PlayedSimLastName} Get the pregnant Sim’s ID, then use the cheat pregnancy.force_offspring_count {simID} {amount}

Generation Five: Gemini

“Expressive and quick-witted, Gemini represents two different personalities in one and you will never be sure which one you will face. They are sociable, communicative and ready for fun, with a tendency to suddenly get serious, thoughtful and restless. They are fascinated with the world itself, extremely curious, with a constant feeling that there is not enough time to experience everything they want to see.”

Growing up, you had the “perfect life”: two parents who loved each other, lots of friends, good grades, and a beautiful house. You were living the good life, so why did you always feel like you wanted more? You decide to take a step on your own, leaving your family behind to pursue your dreams in the big city. However, you quickly realize that life is harder than it seems. You can’t find a job you’re comfortable in, you can’t hold down a relationship, but you find solace in entertaining people and throwing parties. Something about being a host really makes you feel happy.

Traits: Noncommittal, Outgoing, Insider Aspiration: Party Animal Career: None

Goals:

Must have a twin (feel free to cheat for this)

You are the opposite of your twin, in obvious ways such as style, but also in more subtle ways such as emotions and reactions to events (for example, you could be stereotypical and make one of the twins a “preppy” person and the other an “emo” person)

Reach level ten of the charisma skill

Must move out to an apartment with the Needs TLC trait

Throw every type of party at least once

Complete your aspiration

Have three jobs (at least one week for each) before deciding to freelance (writing books)

Travel to at least two community lots each week and stay there for at least an hour

Have at least level four in three different skills by the time you’re an elder

Learn all of the recipes from the vender stalls in City Living

Have one set of twins (keep trying until you get them)

Be caught cheating by your spouse (you can decide whether they stay together or not)

Generation Six: Cancer

“Deeply intuitive and sentimental, Cancer can be one of the most challenging zodiac signs to get to know. They are very emotional and sensitive, and care deeply about matters of the family and their home. Cancer is sympathetic and attached to people they keep close. Those born with their Sun in Cancer are very loyal and able to empathize with other people’s pain and suffering.”

In another life you would have become a doctor, but in this one you are content with looking after your family and making sure your children grow up the best they can. You’re a loving but strict parent, and just want what’s best for your children. However, will you push them away by being too overbearing?

Traits: Gloomy, Jealous, Family-Oriented Aspiration: Super Parent Career: None

Goals:

Gen six heir must reach level five in Imagination and Communication as a toddler

Master Baking skill

Master Cooking/Gourmet Cooking skills

Host a tea party (or a small get together) every week. Invite over your neighbors, your friends, your family, whomever you’d like. Must have a baked good for the gathering made by you.

Complete your aspiration

Pick up woodworking as a hobby and craft every sculpture

You live off of your parents’ money until you get a spouse: you are to be a house wife/husband, and will never have a job. You’re allowed to sell duplicate sculptures for money, however.

Show off your sculptures by putting them on display somewhere in your house!

Pack a lunch for your kids every morning. If you forget, make them a snack when they get home.

Keep the house clean—all you have to do all day is chores, after all!

Have two kids

Both kids need to have A’s in school

Generation Seven: Leo

“People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their “king of the jungle” status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause.”

Your parents were so overbearing to you and your sibling growing up that in your teenage years you began to rebel. Staying out late, skipping class, whatever you could think of. Your parent made sure you got good grades, but you didn’t care about school. All you cared about was your music. You were going to make it big, and you didn’t need calculus to help you rock out on your guitar. You’re arrogant and stubborn, but determined to succeed no matter what the cost. Unfortunately, that means that you can miss out on things that are most important in life.

Traits: Materialistic, Music Lover, Cheerful Aspiration: Musical Genius Career: Entertainer

Goals:

If your heir for this generation is male, come up with some sort of reason for why you got the baby. The mother didn’t want it, the mother died in childbirth, whatever. You can even move her in until she gives birth, then they have a big fight and she walks out on them.

Generation Eight: Virgo

“Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance and their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid. The symbolism behind the name speaks well of their nature, born with a feeling they are experiencing everything for the first time.”

You grew up without a strong parental figure in your life, which made it hard for you to trust other people. How do you know that they would be there for you when you truly needed them? You’re cautious and shy, but curious about the world. You truly enjoy learning and collecting things, and through this passion is how you meet the love of your life. They are the only person you can trust, but they can tell you’re always holding yourself back and hiding parts of yourself away from them. Can a relationship last with this kind of distrust?

Traits: Loner, Geek, Bookworm Aspiration: The Curator Career: Scientist

Goals:

Marry a coworker who has at least one trait in common with you

Get married right before becoming an adult

Separate from your spouse for a while after a large fight (your choice if they get back together)

Reach level ten of the Scientist career

Complete your aspiration

Have a home library (at least 25 books)

Finish a collection (your choice)

Have two kids

Generation Nine: Libra

“People born under the sign of Libra are peaceful and fair, and they hate being alone. Partnership is very important for Libra-born, and with their victorious mentality and cooperation, they cannot stand to be alone. The Libra is an Air sign, with expressed intellect and a keen mind. They can be inspired by good books, insurmountable discussions and interesting people.”

You thrive on socialization. Your parents are kind of shy homebodies, but you crave constant company and cannot stand to be by yourself. This can come across as quite overbearing to some people, so sometimes it’s hard for you to make friends. And, despite being such a sociable person, you are kind of oblivious when it comes to romance. You are very childish in the best possible way, and are the kind of parent to get down in the dirt and play with your children. You are a very supportive parent and you strive to make your family as happy as they can be, through whatever means.

Traits: Unflirty, Loves the Outdoors, Goofball Aspiration: Big Happy Family Career: Social Media

Goals:

You post a lot about your kids and about your life, so take as many pictures of your kids as you can!

Generation Ten: Scorpio

“Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness.”

You grew up watching true crime television shows and superhero movies and decided that’s what you wanted to do with your life: bring justice and fight evil. Unfortunately you can’t become a superhero, but you can become a police officer/detective. You want to make the world a better place than it was before, and you want your legacy to be something of legend. Hardworking and dedicated to your craft, you tend to focus too much on work and it puts a strain on your relationship.

Traits: Ambitious, Good, Genius Aspiration: Nerd Brain Career: Detective

Goals:

Get married to your high school sweetheart

Complete your aspiration

Reach level ten of the Detective career

Reach level ten of the logic skill

Reach level ten of the handiness skill

Get a divorce (you can decide who gets custody of your kids)

Get remarried as an elder, retire from your career

Have three kids

Generation Eleven: Sagittarius

“Curious and energetic, Sagittarius is one of the biggest travelers among all zodiac signs. Their open mind and philosophical view motivates them to wander around the world in search of the meaning of life.”

You love travel and learning new things. You want to experience as much as you can in your lifetime, which means meeting people different from yourself. You heard that one of your ancestors (generation five) was a big traveller too, so you decide to follow in their footsteps.

Traits: Outgoing, Noncommittal, Dance Machine Aspiration: Friend of the World Career: None

Goals:

Live in three different worlds for at least a week before settling down

Have kids with three different people

Never get married

Make money freelancing (collecting, gardening, painting, writing, whatever you wish!)

Completely redesign your house at least once (after settling down for good)

Go to every festival (unless you’re at work/on a date/at a wedding/etc)

Travel to the Nightclub every Friday

Complete aspiration

Master dancing skill

Master comedy skill

Generation Twelve: Capricorn

“Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility, and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. These individuals possess an inner state of independence that enables significant progress both in their personal and professional lives. They are masters of self-control and have the ability to lead the way.”

You hated how free spirited and laid back your parent was, and craved structure and discipline. Since a teen, you had a schedule every day after school: do homework, practice your skills for an hour, eat dinner, go to bed. Moving around so often meant that you didn’t make many friends, so you chose to devote all of your time to mastering as many skills as you could. But focusing in on one detail of life made you miss out on the bigger picture.

Traits: Ambitious, Snob, Mean Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy Career: Tech Guru

Goals:

Since this is the final generation, you can choose whether to have kids or not. Preferably none.

Reach level ten of the Tech Guru career (either branch).

Master logic skill

Have at least level seven in three other skills (your choice)

Follow a schedule every day; spontaneity is not your strong suit

Get married as an adult to someone who shares at least one of your traits and is in the same career as you.

Live in an expensive house (200,000 simoleons or more) by the time you’re an adult

Surround yourself only with other snobby people

Buy an expensive item every Wednesday. (Perhaps even start a collection of expensive artwork or sculptures and showcase them somewhere in your house. Feel free to get creative with it.)

Oh wow, we’ve made it to the end of the challenge! I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to show me pictures or update me on your playthrough on this if you’d like (tumblr: autumnalpixels.tumblr.com/twitter: @absoluteking8). You can also use the hashtag #autumnalzodiac so I can see your posts and reblog some of them!

If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to tell me and I’ll take them into consideration. <3

#challenge: zodiac legacy #challenge rules #challenge rules: zodiac legacy #challenge type: all #challenge type: gameplay #challenge type: legacy #game: ts4

49 notes · View notes

cxmplexity · 3 years

Note

Here's some food for today :

My man Geto

My man Geto, again

Love of my Life, colour of my soul Nanami

And without further ado, some new songs for your playlist:

Joji- Slow dancing in the dark

Hyukoh- Jesus Lived in a Motel Room

RINI-Meet me in Amsterdam

Also, to the anon who appreciated JANNABI's rec, I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE TOO🌚🌚

That's it for today babie, hehe, talk to you soon, take care.

-🌒

Anonymous said:

Aaalliiii😭😭 I feel like apologising for being MIA is gonna feel like lip service at this point, my finals are over (Thank fuck) but I jumped right into writing an academic paper and had my nose to the grindstone for a while now. I AM GONNA READ IMPULSE TODAY AND HAVE MY HEAD FILLED WITH CHOCK FULL OF THEORIES. Thank you for the recs! I will be sure to check it out (the book's totally going to in the top ten of my to-read list now), I would love more non-fic recs since I am pretty out of phase with the genre. I have read Mahmoud Darwish and Adonis's works and oh my god they are so beautiful! It's seriously so effusively fervid, I can only imagine how beautiful it is in its original language. I do the same thing when I read poems from my native language, the feelings don't tend to transcend the same way, it's really strange when you think about it because translation is supposed to bring the world together. Lmao, not you saying you feel guilty for pushing back your reading plans, bestie, I will be here for a long time, so no worries there. Almond sounds interesting, I would love to read it(right after I finish the short stories I brought a few weeks back💀💀 ISTG, I end up buying books before I finish reading the old ones).

"Seeing you in my inbox is truly the highlight of my day" Girl, you are turning me into an emotional mess right now, don't make me go all soft now. I am so glad I came across your work and I haven't been more glad than now for breaking out of my no-active interaction space on Tumblr 😭😭 Seriously, I am befuddled and happy at the same time. I don't even know if we ever will be able to meet IRL, but I so hope we do.

GIRL, GIRL, Percy Jackson and the lightening thief was the first mythological fiction I read, well, apart from an anthology of Greek Mythologies which was actually the very first book that I read back when I was in the 2nd grade.

I brought the Song of Achilles a while back after seeing some quotes flying around on Social Media, and it's been sitting on my shelf ever since, sjsjjs, I am literally such a sloth. I am definitely making a movie watchlist with your recs, I have a feeling I'll be blown away by your recs since we almost have the same taste and also because your writing is top tier so your taste in the Arts will slap too (such a no-brainer).

Now that I think about it, the intense pressure of holding myself to a high standard at the expense of my own well-being has been a perpetual feeling ever since childhood, and it's true, once the seeds are sown, it permeates the whole being like poison, a poison which becomes your life source in a cruel twist of fate, because I really cannot imagine letting go of this apparent need to suceed anymore. I will be going for a Master's instead of a PhD because I want to keep my options open(since I am still not sure if I want to go into academia). Lol, it's not surprising at all, certificates and achievements just literally make me feel things, and I totally get what you mean by having a wall solely dedicated in pursuance of it. And seriously, I won't even deny being an ambitious person, I am very obsessed with the idea of being professionally successful, it's just what it is(╯_╰).

Lmao, I can definitely visualise you belting out beats and breaking into stellar choreos now, yes girl, absolutely divine,is what I conclude. I have had Angus and Julia Stone playing on my headphones and read Paulo Coelho while lazing around on the sofa, but not at the same time * Lenny face * stellar deductions, we vibing too much rn.

🥺🥺 OML, A playlist by my alias,awwww, Aaaaliiie, I will melt for real now. Kskwks, this only calls for more song recs. Oh YES, Suna and his languid hawk eyes, serotonin who? It's Suna hours.

Just want to thank you for always taking your time to read through these word vomits and always being so sweet and replying to them with so much care. Honesty, talking to you like this, and reading your works is one of my favourite parts of opening Tumblr. Literally, appreciate you so much. Keep slaying baby, keep slaying.

P.S. Girl, I saw mentions of knife play, and I....I just want to thank you for making me discover yet another kink of mine.

P.P.S. Thank you for the food as always, Toji's Tiddies were DIVINE.

P.P.P.S. Now that I think about it, Geto's fic is what made me reply here for the first time, so Geto is someone who is responsible for our friendship then? * Lenny Face*

Take care baby🌒

i don’t know why but every time i see an ask in my inbox that starts with a dramatically, elongated Aaaliii my suspicions are confirmed that it’s in fact, you, that sent me an ask snsnns.

welcome back babes! please don’t feel the need to apologise. i was actually gonna ‘summon’ you since you’ve been gone for a while but i remembered you had important finals queued. it’s really good to have you back, you’ve been greatly missed. how did they go btw? hope they weren’t too taxing, although i’m sure you’ve excelled them. and I’m absolutely not surprised that you engrossed yourself into a paper right after exams. yup...definitely not peak intj behaviour. what paper are you writing, if you don’t mind me asking? just sticking my nose into other people’s academics since i’m not back in uni for another month lol.

ooo native language? bilingualism is thexy. what languages do you speak? i’m just stuck with english and arabic lmfaoo. i’ve been learning german on and off but i’m trying to get back on track with sign language hehe. honestly? same, i still have loads of books that i bought ages ago—mostly philosophy and psychology—that i never got to read, and i still went on to buy another batch of books that i’m currently struggling to even finish...but i’ve been dabbling with some poetry lately, so i guess that’s a start.

an anthology of greek mythologies is a lot less embarrassing in comparison to a kitten book snsnsj. not you saying my taste in arts is top tier when yours completely surpasses it. your recs (whether it be music, books etc) never fail to amaze me. please never stop providing them because they’re an absolute delight!

i couldn’t agree with you more; academic success seems more like a necessity than a conscious choice to make. especially if it’s been germinated in your head from a really young age thanks to peer pressure. it would be difficult to untangle one’s self worth from their grade book because you suddenly find yourself wrapping your whole identity around it to the brink of self sabotage. powering through 5 hours of sleep and an incomprehensible amount of caffeine was definitely not how i wanted to spend my youth. i tried to unlearn it, but i’ve adapted myself to live with it anyway.

you really need to stop with all this sweet talk because you actually spoil me too much with it....you’re ruining my street cred i’m not supposed to be turn mushy lmfao. please remember that you are an amazing person and talking to you is an absolute pleasure. any “word vomit” you send is extremely appreciated. thank you for sticking by. i hope i continue to see you in my inbox as long as we’re both on this hell space of an app, which i can see will be a very long time hehe. (quotations marks around word vomit because they aren’t really that, just us gushing over our interests like two intjs should)

i swear you’re the third person that started developing a knife kink because of my reblogs sjsjsjsj and hold on...another? there’s more? 😭 nope, i definitely don’t have a knife play toji fic currently in mind...no i will not put all of my current wips on pause just to write it on a whim.

now that you mention it, maybe it’s time to construct a heartfelt thank you letter for a fictional man with long onyx hair and genocidal tendencies since he’s the reason we crossed paths....might get called a worthless monkey but it’s worth a shot.

thank you so much for the fanarts and song recs. i’ve listened to them all last night but i absolutely fell in love with meet me in amsterdam. for this to be a fair exchange, i provide you with:

Childish Gambino — Sober

Barnes Blvd., Taneréllr — Love from NGC 7318

The Weeknd — True colours

i hope you have an amazing weekend. take care lovely, catch up with you soon 🤍 x

#cxmplexity: asks #🌒#cxmplextunes

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quentinbecks · 3 years

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acanthus, daffodil, salvia for sadie & belladonna, hollyhock, sunflower for charlie?

Thank you, Liz! These were all absolutely lovely 💕

acanthus : is your muse deceptive , or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ? why or why not ?

I wouldn’t call her deceptive, per se, but she is willing to tell a little white lie to get where she needs to. Sadie doesn’t really like lying and considers the whole thing immoral, but she does have to start once Faith comes into her life. If they weren’t in the middle of a holy war she wouldn’t lie about their relationship, wouldn’t give a single fuck what the county thinks, but they are and she’s only doing it to protect the two of them from both sides. And Sadie will do anything to keep her girl safe once she has her.

daffodil : is your muse one to be loyal in relationships , or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ?

Definitely loyal. Sadie prefers a one night stand usually as relationships aren’t typically her thing, but once you win her heart she isn’t leaving. She hasn’t been in many relationships for this exact reason. She will dwell on her heartbreak/breakup for at least a year afterwards. This girl is very sensitive.

salvia : is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness , or lack thereof ?

Not really. Sadie believes that people are allowed to make these choices for themselves. Does she believe they’re making the right choice? Not necessarily. But she knows people aren’t property and if they don’t want to be with her she can’t confine them to her. Even with her own property, she knows they’re just things. Unless they have truly sentimental value to her, she doesn’t care where they go.

Sadie expresses her lack of possessiveness by allowing her partners to have the freedom to come and go as they please. If they want/love her they’ll be back, that she’s positive of. She’ll also loan you anything of hers you want. What’s hers is yours if you’re in dire straits. She’s sure she’ll be repaid the favor when the time comes.

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

Charlie likes being alone, that she can take, but silence? Absolutely not. Trying to phrase this ambiguously, but Charlie only starts to speaking to John because the quiet loneliness was too much for her and she was desperate to fill the void. And if his grating voice asking her questions that are trying to be overly familiar fills it, then so be it.

hollyhock : how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ? what’s something they strive for in life ?

Honestly, Charlie isn’t the most ambitious. I think until she goes back to Hope County and joins the militia, she was just coasting through life. The cult really gave her a purpose, unfortunately.

Charlie was hoping to become a conservationist, would have loved to work with wildlife/for the National Parks one day since that’s what she was finally going to school for. There’s also her desire for motherhood. She craves stability/a second chance at what her parents didn’t give her. Luckily, she gets at least one of her dreams fulfilled.

sunflower : what brings your muse the most joy in life ?

This one is tricky because she’s not typically a joyful person. I would say being around people who she loves and who love her as well. Charlie adores the comfortable silence you get from just lying around with those who know you the most. Showing each other something that reminds you of each other or having a lover mindlessly run their fingers through her hair as they read. Comfort and stability make her incredibly happy.

#these were so interesting to think about!#oc asks #oc: sadie o’brien #oc: charlie berger #long post

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ablogcalledrevenge · 4 years

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Potential (A General Hux x Reader Insert Multi-Chapter Fic, Rated M)

Chapter One

You’re not allowed to meet him; when he comes to the estate to visit your father and brother. Maybe it’s because your family thinks he’s only here to discuss a new position in the First Order for your brother, or maybe it’s because, and you know this is a petty thought, your mother is trying to marry off your sister and you’re prettier than her by a long shot. Granted it isn’t that your sister isn’t pretty, she is, or that she isn’t friendly and sociable and everything an officer’s wife should be. But if your parents think General Hux of the First Order is going to marry your older sister and be content with that, they’re more foolish than you thought.

Honestly, the fact that they think General Hux is just here to discuss a job opening is more than eye opening to their naivety. The First Order is reeling after the destruction of Starkiller; he’s here to beg for funds and nothing more. Perhaps he will have to give your brother a job and marry your sister to get the money and that thought is full of wicked glee.

You have no reason to dislike the General, technically as a person under the rule of the First Order you should deify him, but you can’t help yourself. There’s something hard about him, so cold and distasteful. He’s so obviously power hungry and so clearly an idiot in the ways he goes about getting it. You won’t deny he’s intelligent and cunning, but he lacks finesse. He doesn’t have quite the right amount of charm to get what he wants. He’s too eager and too military but…

But there was potential there. He could be great, he could rule them all. He just needed the right person to help him and you knew exactly who that should be.

You could crash their meeting, come striding in and sit yourself down in one of your prettier outfits and steal the attention but subtlety will be the better option here. So you wait, you wait until their meeting is over and General Hux makes his way towards the guest room he’s staying in. There’s a piece of artwork by his room and you stand there looking at it and waiting for him. If you happen to be in a very beautiful gown, then that’s just a coincidence. The pale blue dress is one of your favorites and it’s off the shoulder design accentuates your neck and collarbones and chest while dozens of sewn on flowers add pops of pastel color. Certainly better than the ugly drab thing your sister preferred, trying to instill a feeling of modesty that you knew she didn’t have. Overall the look was just right; nothing too extravagant or risque but enough to hopefully cause a second look.

The sad truth is that you were never important, never truly needed. The spare of a spare and not even a boy to bring in glory. Your parents cared very little for you but still regarded you closely and warily. You could be useful to them someday and therefore you were always watched. They could tell you had ideas but they would be shocked if they knew the extent. You were smart and you had ambitions and it was obvious the way the galaxy was forming. You wanted power and you wanted to be heard and looking at it from an objective standpoint, Hux was the best way to do that. It would be unpleasant to get him to like you, let alone trust you, but you could pull a long con. You could mold him, help him realize his true brilliance, help him get all the factions under control. Starkiller was a setback, you won’t deny it but he was clever and with you behind him, everything you ever wanted would soon be served to you on a platter. With your plans and creativity, you could probably be in charge. Kick out Snoke and Hux and even Kylo Ren and just rule it all. But that was risky, cocky, and far too ambitious for someone like you, coming from nothing. You needed a foothold and that was where Hux came in. He would be very useful if you could just get him underneath you. You also despised wasting things with good skills and connections. Besides, better him the target than you.

You hear him coming before he actually appears, the quick step of his shoes against the stone floors followed by the clank of Stormtrooper armour. He brought bodyguards with him, though he won’t need them here. The only danger to him is your mother’s clear and desperate attempts at matchmaking. He sounds closer and you quickly school your features into ones of pensive thought and admiration like you’re so caught up in the painting you don’t even hear the stomps coming down the hallway.

He turns the corner and you hear the moment he sees you. After what you assume is a moment of composure, he stops and clears his throat. You pretend to startle and turn towards him, hand clutching at your chest. Your eyes widen a little in surprise.

“Oh forgive me General. I was just lost in my own little world right there. I didn’t mean to stand in the middle of the hallway like that,” You apologize. He nods his head in understanding though his face remains impassive. You’ve got to at least give credit where credit is due. He is extremely handsome. There’s a sharpness to his features that you like, that you’ve always liked if you’re being honest, and his eyes are unfairly green. Finally face to face you can see that he’s taller and broader than you and while he isn’t muscular, there’s a leanness to him that suggests some form of exercise.

“It’s quite alright. It’s a beautiful piece, I can understand why you would get distracted by it.” He finally says, his voice soft, softer than you thought it could go. Is the General a secret art lover?

“It’s one of my favorites. I always love coming here to look at it.” You say, completely truthful. He could be lying, wanting to seem polite and get you out of the way but a small part of you hopes he isn’t. It will only help your plan if you have things in common.

“You’re (Y/N), yes? Your mother mentioned she had another daughter. Why didn’t you join us during lunch?” He asked, his gaze becoming one of shrewd assessment. You feel your face heat, completely unplanned.

“I am. I wasn’t invited. You’re not supposed to know but I think Mother wants to set you up with my older sister. She’s afraid that having me there would be a distraction.”

He walks past you then and opens the door to his room, standing there with a raised eyebrow. Glancing at the Stormtroopers you realize he wants to continue the conversation but is aware that it might turn into something that requires more privacy. You quickly walk into his room, hiding your smirk as you do so. He’s so sweetly going along with your plan, you’d thank him if it wouldn’t give you away.

He follows you in and closes the door before striding to the small liquor cabinet your father keeps stocked for guests. He pours himself a whiskey, offering you a glass which you decline. You have to play this carefully and you don’t want alcohol to impair you. You also prefer wine over harder spirits. Taking a sip with a pleased hum, he sits down and relaxes. Well maybe not relaxes, he’s too tightly wound to do that but he does recline in the chair and you suppose that’s enough for him.

“I found your sister, and your entire family, to be pleasant and welcoming. Why would you be a distraction?” He finally asks, his tone full of disdainful curiosity. He’s goading you, he wants you to snap and reveal something he can use and…

A flash of heat runs through you and settles somewhere around your pelvis. General Hux is planning on using you just as much as you’re planning on using him.

“Because I’m better than her.” You say, your eyes flinty and words proud. He smiles at you then, slow and sharklike and you’re positive your answering smile matches his perfectly.

“I think she was right to be afraid.”

You have to tread carefully here, you’re both playing a game and you want to win. You can’t admit your plan outright but you do need to gauge his interest. He takes another sip of whiskey, his eyes never leaving yours. The setting sun comes through the window and everything gets a touch darker. Neither of you calls out to raise the lights and the hazy quality of the room feels appropriate.

“You’re a very smart man General,” You start, sitting down in a chair opposite him. Your posture is relaxed but the vibroblade you have strapped to your thigh is cool against your skin. You don’t want to use it, but you’re not afraid to.

“I’ve been told that, yes.” He responds slowly, trying to piece out what you’re getting at. His gaze is calculating and you enjoy it, you’re surprised to realize, you enjoy playing in this match with him.

“And yet, here you are. Begging for handouts and scraps after your failure.” You say harshly. His grip on the crystal glass of whiskey tightens and his mouth thins. You notice his other hand curls into a fist and if he hadn’t been wearing gloves, his nails would probably be digging into the skin.

“If this is your way to get into my good graces, you’re sadly mistaken.” His voice is ice.

“It isn’t. Though I doubt you have good graces to even get.” At that, the ice melts away a little and he smirks again. Raises his glass to you in a mockery of a toast.

“I’ve been told that as well.”

You watch him in silence for a while, both of you thinking and plotting. Does he understand what you want from him? What does he want from you? The anticipation is filling up the room, soon your hands might start to sweat.

“I don’t think you need to give my brother a job or marry my sister to get money. You’ll get it from the older families easily enough. Just play to their vanity and the glory of the old Empire. You’ll soon have enough funds to build another weapon, hopefully less wasteful and idiotic than Starkiller.”

He looks incensed again and sets his glass down roughly on the table next to his chair. “Starkiller was not idiotic! It was my greatest military achievement to date!”

“Yes, and it only fired once before being destroyed by an old smuggler and an ex-Stormtrooper!” You shoot back, finger pointing in his direction. He snarls but doesn’t respond back.

“I would think knowing the history of the two Death Stars that failed so horrifically, you’d figure that creating a death ray in giant orb would be a bad idea.” You say, on a roll now. You’re saying more than you should but his pinched, red face is making you angry. Your mother would be shocked at your condescending tone but he needed to hear this. He needed to be brought down a peg and you enjoyed the mental visual of him on his knees before you. Then you could raise him up.

“Not to mention the complete waste of life. Five planets General? Surely one would’ve been enough. But now you’ve lost all that extra labour and possible soldiers and trade routes! You can’t rule over people that don’t exist.” He sits up suddenly then, as if hit by a blaster bolt. So much for not revealing your plan right away. This was only part one but you could have been a bit subtler. At least you weren’t yelling, suddenly aware of the Stormtroopers outside the door.

“What a very interesting thing to say. Why should I care about ruling over anyone? Supreme Leader Snoke controls the First Order. My focus is on my troops with their missions and conquests.” He drawls, leaning back once again in his chair and giving you a suspicious smile. He has a spark of hunger in his eyes and it thrills you to see it. It’s not a lustful or possessive hunger but one of pure greed. The look of a starving animal who just found it’s dinner limping in the forest. Your anger leaves you and in it’s place: the heady rush of excitement.

“I think”, you say slowly, rising up from your chair to stalk over to his. General Hux tilts his head to the side, looking at the way your dress sweeps along your legs. “I think we could be very good friends General.”

Feeling very bold and perhaps stupid, you get into his lap and straddle him. His only reaction is a quick intake of breath through his nose.

Then he looks up at you, the smile gone from his face but his eyes still so bright and sharp. His hand comes up to clutch at your waist and his grip is bordering on painful. You hold your breath, your heart beating so fast you’re sure he can hear it.

“I think we can do much better than that.”

Chapter Two Coming Soon...

Tagging: @livy1391, @babbushka, @girl-next-door-writes, @renaissance-mama Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

#oh boy here we go #general hux #general hux x reader #reader insert fanfiction #self insert fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #potential #i really hope you all like it #not beta'd #please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes #i love commas and i will not apologize for it

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