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eddiemunsons-missingnipple · 7 months

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No man's land

♡ Pairings: Eddie munson x reader

♡ Summary: a little something for the people who suffer from insomnia or just have a hard time sleeping.

♡ Warnings: fluff, none. Just some language but nothing terrible. Eddie calls the reader baby. No use of y/n.

♡ Word count: 1.1k

♡ A/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for way too long. While this is just a fluff piece, I would still prefer if minors didn't interact with my work. Thank you. Please reblog, like, and comment to show support.

3:00 am.

It was late very late and another sleepless night for you. You tossed and turned for hours trying to find the right position to rest, but it was no use. You just couldn't sleep. There really isn't even a reason behind it.

You weren't stressed at the moment. You and Eddie are both in a good place. You wish you could put a reason as to why this happens, but there is none. Not one thing. This isn't something new for you, though. You just wanted some type of excuse this time.

You carefully got out of bed trying not to disturb your sleeping boyfriend next to you. You make your way to the living to watch some TV. Perhaps you'll fall asleep out here, but you know that's highly unlikely. You tip toe into the kitchen, slowly opening up the cabinet above the stove to make some tea.

Wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket with Eddie's Garfield mug in both hands, you flick through the channels until you land on your favorite show. You kept the lights off, not wanting to disturb him in any kind of way since he has to be up in soon for work. Believe it or not, Eddie was a light sleeper, and the slightest noise or light could wake him.

"Why'd ya leave me?" His rasped with a pout on his face.

Foot steps trudging down the hall tell you that you were not as quiet as you thought. You turn to look over blanket draped over your head. There, he was standing in the hallway rubbing his tired eyes. His hair sticking up every which way. The white boxers with red lips, you got him for Valentines Day as a joke, hang low on his waist. He's missing one sock on his foot. You snort when you see him. He looks lost like he doesn't know how he got there.

You always thought his sleepy voice was so cute. He hated it.

"Couldn't sleep again." You sheepishly told him, taking another sip of tea.

He moves to plop down beside you, kicking his feet up on the coffee table folding his arms over his chest. His eyes bloodshot from just waking up. The brightness from the TV screen making his eyes water.

"Whatcha watching?" He yawned.

You snuggle up close beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. "Grey's Anatomy."

Nodding his head, looking semi interested. He wraps his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

"Eddie, you have to work in the morning." You whispered, looking up at him.

"It's okay if you can't sleep. I can't sleep." He squeezed you tight, kissing your forehead.

About an hour has passed since you and Eddie have been awake.

"What do you mean they found her lingerie pictures and showed them to everyone?" He argued, getting frustrated at the show.

"Dr. Model wow!, what a great insult...prick." He murmured, shaking his head.

"Yeah, she only did that to pay for school." You informed him getting a kick out of how upset he seems to be for lzzie.

Whatever sleep filled mind he had was gone now. He's wide awake, staring at the bright TV screen. His eyes are still bloodshot and puffy, but he's not tired. Not anymore. Too worked up and annoyed at what he's witnessing

His mouth drops in shock. "And this dickhead just walks around showing them to everyone?"

"Yep, pretty much." You take another sip of your tea, which is now too cold.

"Lemme get a taste." He motioned at the Garfield mug, eyes glued to the screen. He takes a big gulp, making a disgusted face at the now ice-cold chamomile tea.

He bought that tea specifically for you when he heard it helps with sleep. He always did little things like that for you. He'd buy you an entire life supply of chamomile tea if it meant you could finally rest.

He leaned forward elbows resting on his knees. He was still getting riled up at the plot that he didn't notice the alarm clock going off.

"It's time for work." You mentioned sadly.

"Oh, I'm calling out. I can't leave until I know what happens next." He says matter factly. He's too engrossed in the show now to stop watching. "And I can't leave you either."

The sunrise peaking in through your blinds, giving your living room a warm glow. "Wanna get breakfast?"

"Sure." You smiled sweetly at him.

"Then we can finish up this season and try to get some sleep, yeah?" He goes to stand, stretching his long limbs out.

"I hope so, but if I can't sleep, that doesn't mean you have to stay up too." You really don't want him to think just because you struggled with this that he has to as well. You've dealt with insomnia almost your whole life. You can handle losing just a day's worth of sleep. You hope it's just a day's worth.

"I don't think so. If my baby can't sleep, then I'm not sleeping."

"But." You tried arguing.

"No buts." He argued back, bending down to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

You shyly smile at him, wondering how you even found someone so caring. Sometimes, you truly believe you don't deserve him. You know that's not true, and he definitely knows that's not true. He's just so kind and thoughtful. You really didn't think there were people out there in the world like him. Eddie would constantly do things for you without even considering something in return. You're still not used to that but you're trying.

"Well, then we better get moving. We don't wanna miss anything." You go to stand next to him, stretching out your arms as well.

"I'm not putting clothes on. We can just go through the driver thru." He said, grabbing his keys. No shoes or anything. Just one bare foot padding along the carpet.

"Well, at least wrap yourself in this blanket, jeez." You roll your eyes playfully as you both head for the front door. You tossed him the blanket that was used as your own personal, safe haven. "You trying to get arrested?"

"Wouldn't be my first time." He joked, throwing the blanket around himself and heading out the door.

Eddie kept his promise to you that day. He did eventually doze off on the couch with you. It's not entirely his fault, though he made the mistake of laying his head in your lap after breakfast. Your hands scratch his back, and playing with his hair always made him relax. If there was ever a moment you wanted him to sleep, that was all you had to do, really. He'd instantly melt in your hands.

You stayed up, finishing off the rest of Greys Anatomy with Eddie softly snoring. You didn't sleep, and you weren't counting on it. Maybe you will tonight? Doesn't matter it comes in patterns for you. You know what to expect when this happens.

You're just happy you won't have to deal with it alone anymore. Whether you liked it or not. Eddie was going to be by your side helping you through it. No matter how much you argued that he shouldn't. He was stubborn, and once his mind was made up, that was it.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x you

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theroundbartable · 5 months

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Arthur: hmm... Hey Gwen. If I died, who would miss me more. You or Merlin?

Gwen: *no hesitation* Merlin

Arthur: eh ... Wow, thank you?

Gwen: I had a life before you. He didn't. If you die, he'll probably lose his will to live.

Arthur: that's... Gwen, wtf.

Gwen: *puts books down* I love you, Arthur, and of course I would be devastated too, but Merlin is my best friend and I know him well. He'd do anything to be by your side. His job, his apprenticeship with Gaius, his life... Everything he has, he has thanks to you, and is risking to keep you safe. I'm your wife and I love you. But don't forget that I can go back to be blacksmith or a servant if I must. As Queen, I can continue like this even without you, which is kind of the purpose of you marrying me and the reason why people were so against us. I have a purpose outside of being your wife. Merlin is your best friend first, your servant second, your physician third. If he loses you, he'll lose everything he is. It will destroy him.

Arthur: I-

Gwen: what I'm saying is, don't die. If not for my sake, and let's be honest, if you die, you'll probably leave everything to me so you can rest in peace, and you will use that as an excuse not to fight on, then keep fighting for HIS sake.

Arthur: ...

...........

Merlin: yeah. That sounds about right.

Arthur: Gwen is my WIFE. Even if it's true, she shouldn't say that, right? I mean, she makes it sound like ... Like I should have married you!

Merlin: ... No, I don't think that's what she's saying. To be married means to be equal to one another. You and Gwen have more in common than your love for each other. You both have a vision for Camelot and that's something that ties you together. I'm your servant. I was never anything else. And quite frankly, despite everything the dragon said, I don't care for anything else.

Arthur: ... you love me.

Merlin: yeah, so?

Arthur: ... That doesn't sound very healthy

Merlin: *snorts* Stop trying to die for me, and then we'll talk.

Arthur: I still love Gwen

Merlin: I never said you don't and I'd never expect that to change. She's much better for the kingdom too. I'm happy to be where I am, especially since you know about my magic and accepted that. I like how things are and I wouldn't change a thing.

Arthur: don't you want... More?

Merlin: more? More what? More assassination attempts so a have to save you again? No thanks.

Arthur: no, I mean. Relationship wise

Merlin: I think our friendship is intense enough as it is.

Arthur: gosh, Merlin! I'm asking you if you want it to be romantic!!!!

Merlin: .... You're relationship with Gwen is romantic and that's not more than what we have. As I said, I don't need us to change. I don't need anything to change. Except, please do not think about my life without you in it, because if we start that, I might go feral and destroy half the kingdom.

Arthur: ... I think you might need therapy.

Merlin: can I pay that off of taxes?

Bonus:

Gaius: so, you're here for therapy

Merlin: yes

Gaius: with, eh... The king

Arthur: yes

Gaius: what about Gwen?

Arthur: Gwen told me to wish you luck.

Gaius: ... Oh boi.

Gaius: ... Alright then. So... Why do you both, er... King and servant, need couple therapy exactly?

Arthur/Merlin: he keeps trying to DIE for me!!!!

#bbc merlin #concept #Arthur #merlin #gwen #arwen #arwen with Merthur in it #relationship study #merlin needs therapy

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ddejavvu · 1 year

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omfg imagine fairy reader getting off rubbing on Aaron’s finger or idk something bc she’s so tiny

today is multiverse monday, send me any au you can think of! :)

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Damn Aaron for being so attentive. You know that's his job, he's told you before that he has to stay vigilant, that he notices little things because it could save his life one day, but all it's done today is embarrass you. You'd been trying to muffle your moans with one of his t-shirts, buried in the fabric in the drawer he'd set up for you, but it wasn't working.

"Y/N?" He calls, and your eyes blow wide open from where you're nestled in his dresser drawer, "Hey, where are you? Are you alright?"

You don't answer at first, barely breathing to keep silent. But he doesn't let up, and you can hear his footsteps trekking to the bed, "Y/N? What's going on, sweetheart? Can you hear me?"

The next time he says your name it's louder, like he'd assumed the answer to his last question was no. You feel guilty about the concern in his voice, mouth dry as you finally respond, "I'm okay, Aaron."

You hear him freeze, then he realizes you're in the drawer and he's on it in seconds. Light spills into the previously dark space, and you make sure that all he can see is your head popping out from the fabric of his shirt.

"Hi," You smile sheepishly, face on fire as the one below your belly begs for attention. You definitely look strange, wide-eyed and half-buried in a shirt, but you don't think Aaron's figured out why yet.

"Hi," He hums, a neutral frown tight on his face. He's studying you, you realize, and you try to loosen up.

"I was trying to get a nap in," You explain, "I figured your bed would be too big for me all alone."

"I see," Aaron nods, "And you were... having a nightmare?"

"What?"

"You were crying," Aaron reminds you, "Or- or whining, or groaning, or-"

"I wasn't-" You rush to stop him, and something twitches in his left eye. His mouth hangs open with the hint of his next word but it never comes, and he nods slowly, just once.

"Oh."

"Aaron, I-" You wish you could sit up, flutter over to his face and make up some scattered excuse as to what was really happening, but if you do, he'll see your very naked form, "Not, like- I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." He assures you, already making to close the drawer again, "I'll... leave you to it."

"No!" You rush to catch his hand, current state of dress forgotten, and when you catch his finger, the shirt falls off of you. There you stand- er, hover, thighs pressed together and chest on display.

"Don't go," You beg, and Aaron freezes up. He can't shut the drawer anymore, not unless he wants to squish you, and you've got a good grip on his finger.

"It's okay," He hums, worried you'll think he's judging you, "Really, everyone- uh, everyone does it. I just didn't think about it before I came in. But it's okay, I promise. I'm not upset or anything like that."

"No," You whimper, clutching tighter still at his hand, "I'm- I need, uh, help."

You're clutching so tight to Aaron's finger that you can feel it tense up.

"Help," He repeats cautiously, and you nod, nervous tears pricking at your eyes.

"I- I just," You stammer, heartbeat so loud it's in your ears, "I can't.. finish. And I don't know what to do, and I thought that if you helped me-"

"I shouldn't," Aaron hums sympathetically, "I- I don't want you to get attached to me like that. Not because I helped you."

"That's not why I want your help," You promise, wings fluttering to give you a little more air in the drawer. You hover straight onto his palm, using most of your willpower not to jump him right then and there, "I like you, Aaron. And I'd like you even if you hadn't helped me. We wouldn't have met," You realize, "But- but that's not the point! The point is, I need help, and I want it from you."

He takes a moment to consider, then his thumb curves up from where it had been flat beside the rest of his fingers to brush over your outstretched calves. Your breath hitches at the gentle touch he administers, and he keeps a close watch on your reaction.

"Are you sure?" He asks, and you've never nodded more vigorously.

"I'm sure," You scramble to your knees as Aaron curls his pointer finger in towards you. You appreciate the fact that he keeps his nails trimmed well, and he watches with a tight chest as you flip yourself onto your back. You lay with your head against his wrist, hands gripping his bent thumb for stability. It means that his pointer finger, when curled just right, brushes over your leaking slit, and you jolt in his palm.

"You okay?" He pauses, but you nod, "Yes! Yes, I'm okay, I'm- Aaron, please, keep going."

"Okay," He hums, experimentally pushing his finger against your slit. You're already slicked open from your previous activities, so he doesn't have trouble wetting the tip of his finger, but the stretch of his pointer finger is tantalizingly blissful as you writhe in his palm.

"Aaron, I need-" You pant, gripping his thumb like a lifeline, "I need more! More, please!"

"Shh," He soothes, rubbing his thumb down your side as he pushes his thumb further into your cunt, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll take care of you."

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hopelessdazai · 3 months

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✿ 》The alley down near Lupin

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I'm so unbelievably tempted to turn this into a full series ( purely to give an excuse 2 write skk threesome ) but gimmie yalls feedback!! this one's pretty short but I had writers block so I had to shove something out.

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn!reader, cheating, intoxicated makeout, brief mentions of drugging, reader is dating chuuya. everything is consensual and safe for now.

maybe you were drunk, but so was he.

his hands on your skin somehow felt colder then the winter air that you'd dipped onto an alleyway to avoid. his fingertips like icecubes, you'd wish to let them melt on your tongue if you weren't afraid of the burn in the aftertaste.

there was no words being said, if there was any that even needed to be spilt. you knew that they'd fall through like a broken hourglass anyway - there was no result in any effort.

you had your lips against his, it felt the same as any other day. but your heart stung, your veins tore at your skin and your eyes had to be shut. had to be. you couldn't let yourself process anything about the situation. you had to pretend it wasn't him.

it was consensual, that's all you'd note. lying about a strong factor such as that would only do you and him harm. and you wouldn't wish that upon anybody. maybe he'd drugged you, but you weren't sure. you'd wished he had, it'd be an excuse.

the alcohol stung, your lips stung. your hips that he gripped so tightly with a mixup between lust and love stung. you knew why it hurt, but to know means you'd have to process. and you already didn't want to do that.

dazai osamu - his hands traced to the small of your back, barely letting you pull away for a moment. you half hoped you'd suffocate in these lips. you'd never been religious, but you prayed that he'd swallow you whole and let you leave this life.

you could feel his smirk against your lips. bastard. if you weren't so intoxicated you would've slapped him. he knew the situation as well as you did, he knew how foul your mind was fogging.

and foul it was.

you opened your eyes as the top of your back felt the rough surface of the bricks he laid you on before him. catlike pupils scanning over the surface of how he'd deshrivelled you. you hated it when he looked at you like this, it wasn't right.

"you know you can't stay around me. yet you come back so longingly with your tail between your legs. it's cute." his voice cradled your ears in a way you weren't exactly comfortable with. you hated his tone. you hated everything about the situation. you hated him.

he wasn't your boyfriend. chuuya was.

you closed your eyes again, in hopes to envision your real love.

#bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs x you #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader

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blingblong55 · 10 months

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Playdate - John Price

F!reader, angst, smut, MDNI, 18+

They say love is only for the brave. It is a dangerous trap to fall into and at this point, you wish he came with a warning sign. That's why it's best to just play the game and not try to rule it.

We're just playing hide-and-seek It's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you I don't want to play no games I'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you

It all started as a one-night stand. Left just like that, you thought about that good night every now and then. I wish for just another night where all your fantasies and wildest dreams come to life. Then, one phone call from him turned it into what it is now. Sex and no feelings, that's the game.

Late-night calls turn into early-morning shame walks. As his body pleased yours in many ways, you always found yourself wanting more. You missed his kisses when he was gone, missed how he made you his, how his lips claimed you over and over, marking you with his scent, taste and love.

But all good or bad love must come to an end or carry extra worry and regret. As the days, weeks and months go by, you find yourself needing more. I want to spend dreary Mondays together, stay in bed on Sundays and go on dates some Wednesdays. Unfortunately, he does not. It is no lie or secret he sleeps with other women, you are just the toy he uses on Fridays or Saturdays.

You found yourself getting ready, asking him questions about his day but before you could properly ask, he would already be undressing or kissing you. At nights when you knew he was either sleeping with another woman or if he was away on a 'business trip' (deployment), you would find yourself caring for him more, hoping he'd make his flight to and from his trip safely. You would cry when you'd see couples walk hand in hand on sunny afternoons.

Why did you care so much for a man who barely gave you any actual love? Easy, his nature, the jokes and the way he would speak to you when alone were always what had you making excuses to drive to his place time after time. Maybe it isn't the smartest choice for someone who desperately is trying to leave this side spectrum but what can one do.

"Oh you are so wet for me, c'mon baby...cum for me...I know you want to." His voice is so low and so sexy. Tears run down as you become even more sensitive to touch, he wipes your tears away. "Shh, it's okay, just let it happen, you are so close...c'mon pretty girl." he cooed.

And there you were, 12 a.m., on the way to his house. The ideal bachelor place for a man like him. You slowly begged for more attention after that night. Sent him pictures in lingerie or nothing on. Videos would be exchanged throughout the week and that's how you thought he'd be giving you more of his time. But, love is for fools and Johnathan Price is no fool. A man like him knows no word like love.

A/N: I know its short, but I mean...its good right?

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thelov3lybookworm · 7 months

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What We Want

Day 7: free day

Summary: Y/n had not expected her past to meet her through her present and future.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: to make up for the lack of fics during the whole week, I wrote more than one fic for day 7 of @azrielappreciationweek

(i feel like there is a possiblity for more parts for this fic, so let me know if you want that 😉)

Enjoy my loves!

•○🌑○•

The party was in full swing, soft music coming from the speakers overhead. Or maybe it was the orchestra in the corner. Y/n didn't know. Nor did she care.

The soft murmurs and the loud laughter swirled around Y/n as she stood in a secluded area, holding a glass, all alone.

She sighed, swirling the wine in her glass as she leaned back against the wall behind her. She just wanted to go home and get some sleep, but even thinking about sleeping on that uncomfortable couch gave her back pain.

And she couldn't leave without her husband, as he was nowhere in sight, and if she left without him, he would get pissed.

She took a small sip from her glass, relishing the fresh and fruity flavor of the wine.

The flavor immediately soured in her mouth when she heard her husband's voice nearby. She turned to look for him.

And instantly wished she hadn't.

There he was, walking towards her as he smiled and talked to another man.

When she took in who her husband's companion was, her blood chilled.

A man who wore dark clothing, no adornments accept for a single silver chain hanging from the strong column of his throat and a few rings on his fingers.

The man simply nodded along to Vaughan, Y/n's husband, as he talked.

The man who Y/n knew all too well.

The one she had been a little too late in telling that she belonged to him.

And now she belonged to another.

She quickly turned away, hoping to slip away into the hallway nearby. But of course, her husband had reached her by then.

Of course he was still talking to Vaughan.

And, of course, recognition dawned on that beautiful face.

"Oh, also, this is the woman I'm married to." Vaughan gestured towards Y/n carelessly, as if he couldn't care less about the fact that she was his wife. His choice of words and their meaning also didn't go unnoticed by Y/n. And by the looks of it, Vaughan's friend picked up on it too.

While Vaughan was married to Y/n, by no means was she his wife. He didn't care for her, didn't like her in any way. In fact, he despised her.

"And Y/n, this is" –Azriel– "Azriel, a business partner."

Azriel hadn't looked away from Y/n for even a moment, and neither had she looked away from him. It seemed like none of them were intrested in losing the staring match.

Y/n finally looked away, towards Vaughan. And her blood instantly froze at the coldness she found there.

He glanced at Azriel with the same shrewdness and calculated anger, and Azriel, the damned bastard, still stared at Y/n like he'd seen a ghost.

Look away, dammit!

Y/n smiled at her husband, then at Azriel, nodding in greeting.

Azriel searched her face, and Y/n looked away, not wanting to give Vaughan any ideas regarding Y/n and her old friend.

The one she cared about.

The one she would give her life for.

The one she had stopped talking to.

The one she loved.

And the one she would forever pine for.

Not that it mattered now. And when it would have mattered, she had been too late.

Just then, breaking the train of Y/n's thoughts, came a loud giggle.

Y/n looked up from her glass of wine, finding Eve, Vaughan's... girlfriend, clinging onto his arm. She curled her lean body around him, giggling. Probably at one of his unfunny jokes.

Y/n swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth, gulped down the remainder of her wine in one go, and then excused herself.

She needed to get out of there. Because if she didn't, she would lose her shit and break down, right then and there, in front of everyone.

She exited into a nearby hallway, turning right. She didn't know where she was going. Neither did she care. All she cared for was getting as far as she could from her husband and her love.

Of course, her luck didn't want her to be alone.

The sound of footsteps following her sounded from behind, and she hurried her steps, then broke into a full on sprint, hoping to lose whoever was following her.

If she had to choose, she would rather have Vaughan follow her, because she didn't know if she could handle it if it was him.

She spied a door nearby, muttering a word of prayer to god as she picked up speed, her gown riding the air behind her, the slit in her dress causing the warmed air to caress Y/n's bare legs.

The door opened into a balcony, the cool night air making her shiver slightly as she leaned against the railing, hoping she had lost the person following her.

She heaved a sigh when no one followed her onto the wide and spacious balcony.

Too soon.

It was maybe a minute of two after when the door behind her creaked open, and out stepped her one and only love, looking disheveled, his chest heaving.

He stared at her, and she did the same until he regained some semblance of control over his breathing. Then he spoke.

"Y/n." Her name was a whispered plea to the gods, a prayer that slipped out of his lips. His eyes searched hers before he raked them up and down her body. There were so many emotions in his beautiful hazel eyes that she couldn't begin to decipher them, even if she wanted to.

Good for her, she didn't want to. She couldn't afford to want that, because if she did, she wouldn't be able to hold back her sorrow at the loss of her friend. And love. But he didn't know that, nor did he need to.

She sighed, pretending to be irritated. "Azriel. What do you want?"

Her chest tightened, making it hard to breathe when she saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, as if her body was disappointed with her and wanted her to die.

To be honest, she felt the same.

"It's been so long. How are you? Why don't you talk to me anymore? Why do you ignore my messages and calls?"

Y/n made sure to clear her face of any and all emotions, tugging on the mask that she had mastered in the last six months, the six months that she'd been married to Vaughan.

She turned away, knowing all he could see on her face was detachment and coldness. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She could feel it when his demeanour changed. She knew she had taken it too far, maybe put years of friendship in jeopardy, but that was not a bad thing if he would leave her alone. Forget about her. It would be for the best, she told her heart. He wouldn't get hurt if she pushed him away.

Or maybe he would get hurt, but not as much as when he found out the extent of the mess she was in. When he found what could have been.

She heard him coming closer, then his cologne of mist and cedar reached her, and instinctively, she took a deep breath. And then she saw him in her peripheral view, staring at her with cold hard eyes, eyes that were always reserved for peple who hurt his family or him.

His hand, so much bigger than hers, wrapped around her elbow. He tugged lightly, and she heaved a frustrated sigh, turning to look up at him.

"Quit it." He mumbled quietly.

"Quit what?"

"I know this is an act, Y/n, so quit it."

"What makes you think this is an act? And what is this?" She snarled, snatching her elbow back from his grip.

A muscle ticked in his jaw. "I've known you for years Y/n-"

"That does not mean you know anything about me." She sneered. "Stop pretending like you do."

He simply stared at her, unmoving, giving her the no nonsense look that would have crumbled the old Y/n, but she was not who she had once been, and she stared back at him, as still as him.

After a moment, he sighed. "If you are so interested in having me leave you alone, then tell me one thing, and I will leave you alone."

Her heart clenched, knowing he would keep that promise and leave her alone.

She knew she didn't want that, and also knew she was stupid to not want that.

But she gestured at him to continue, wrapping her arms around herself.

He studied her for a few moments, and she had to suppress a shiver under his intense gaze.

"Why did you marry that jerk?"

Instantly, she wondered how long the drop would be if she decided to throw herself over the railing. She wouldn't ever do that, but it seemed tempting, even if it was for a moment.

"Because I wanted to. Now you can leave."

She made to turn away, but his hand shot out, grabbing her around the bicep, tugging her closer. Due to the unexpected action, Y/n stumbled forward, crashing into Azriel's chest.

Her face was pressed to his chest, both her hands clutching his sides. She hurried to push away from him, her hand on his chest.

His other hand was around her waist, and she found him staring down at her intently when she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

She had to swallow because of the close proximity, searching his eyes.

His eyes eagerly followed the roll of her throat before rising back to hers.

"So is this what you are doing behind my back?"

Y/n jumped away from Azriel, startled by the sudden loud voice breaking the peaceful yet tension filled silence around her and her best friend.

She whirled around to find her husband standing in the doorway, fuming. Eve was practically draped across Vaughan's hand, smiling like a cat.

Y/n heart was beating in her throat, making it hard to speak, but she was finally able to find her voice before her husband could make any more assumptions. "Vaughan, I can explain. It's not what it looks like–"

"All cheaters say that." He smirked, eyeing the space between the Azriel and Y/n.

"You would know." The deep voice intoned from beside Y/n, and she stiffened, her blood turning to ice at the look that came across Vaughan's smirking face.

"Cheaters hide their affairs. I don't."

Panic suddenly gripped Y/n when Vaughan turned to her again. He simply jerked his head towards the corridor, and she shook her hand out of Azriel's grip and walked away without looking back.

She lowered her head when she passed next to Vaughan, and she could feel the satisfaction rolling off him in waves at the act of submission.

Vaughan followed her out, Eve with him. He didn't wait to see if Y/n followed as he walked towards where the exit, murmuring something in Eve's ear, making her giggle.

Y/n finally glanced back at a stony faced Azriel, letting her mask slip for just a moment.

It was not much, but it was enough to let Azriel know she was not a willing participant in this mess, and that she was sorry for talking to him so rudely.

Understanding entered his eyes at the vulnerability he spied in Y/n's gaze, but before he could do anything, she walked away.

Following her husband back to his car and, then, to the shit hole she called home.

•○🌑○•

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

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spideyhexx · 5 months

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I've been pondering this all day

Snow hates the thought and feeling of vulnerability especially when it comes to love, friendship, and even his family despite the sacrifices made for his wellbeing and advancement. Excuse the run on sentences

This leaves him the inability to have a normal relationship especially romance and family. Not to mention his entitlement, sense of pride, classism, and overall Capitol mindset as a whole. This is why he "loves" as well as hate DC!reader she doesn't have the those same vulnerabilities that stun her perception and growth. She can see Snow for who and what is Snow and most likely who he'll becom. Not to mention Capitol assumptions that most has about Snow. One would expect it was easier for Snow to manipulate her. Seeing that she's district and at a social disadvantage. She's more than likely will always been seen as district. Just like in my like post/ask just because you got money doesn't mean you'll be readily accepted in the Capitol. Most of this classmates probably lived on the lima bean diet while the Civil War was going on. Yet they still look down upon the districts as if their lives weren't almost the same up till that point. In fact most if not all see this act as terrorism, anarchy, and a direct insult to the Capitol. Like they take offense to the uprising like someone mistreated them rather than the other way around. This speaks volumes to their entitlement as well as nativity. Like of course they don't see the districts as people with rights. I bet that seeing reader and Sejanus prancing around the Capitol just like them irks some nerves. Especially with the older generation because Tigris and Snow were kids during the Dark Days. All this and more plays into the development of Snow's mind and psyche. Don't get me started on Grandma'am and her influence. There's no doubt in my mind that she fed into Snow becoming who he is.

Especially with his early years during the first rebellion. I believe she think Coriolanus could do not wrong and that DC! reader should be more than happy that he's interested in her. Like the only one who doesn't think like this is Tigris

Sorry this turned into less about Coriolanus.

Ps. There is more. I just had to get this out before I forget it. Lucy Gray is up next. All this plays into everything.

Just to add on to last thing. The Capitol is not the Capitol because of money. The money comes to them because of their power in mistreating, degrading the districts. Another thing is I believe the Capitol mindset as a whole has blinded most of the occupants especially Snow. If he realizes that as a person you need more than money and status to make a relationship work then he may or may not do the work to actually improve himself not to just get reader. Like this guy is so cut off from any sense of emotional intelligence.

Am gonna assume this was you <3

Vulnerability is the worst thing for Coriolanus. If it seeps through and someone sees it, he'd probably have a meltdown. I agree with all you said!!! I think his "love" for you is also somewhat of an admiration in the sense that he wishes he observed life the way he sees you do so. And the mere fact that you're able to get under his skin and come to realize his true intentions or his innermost understandings of the world at play, it's frightening to him.

It gives you this unspoken power over him. And yes, your other classmates and even their parents would be looking down upon you as you make your stance in the Capitol, but something that Coriolanus would be attracted to is your determination and defiance against this. You kept trying despite this and he has that same tenacity, so it makes sense he'd commend you for it (while still thinking less of you). It's like he considers himself different from his classmates and their elite parents because he at least acknowledges the fact you have skill and intelligence, but he's not really different at all as he still thinks less of you.

Oh yes. Sejanus and you would be rather carefree. I think he's more likely to be conscious of stares and gossip about the two of you, but your own determination overrides it and you two try to just enjoy your relationship no matter what anyone says or thinks.

Grandma'am of course had a part in Coriolanus' views. She'd be coddling him about his expressed sadness that you won't let him into your life and she would go on about how you should be lucky he's even looking in your direction.

Everything you said about the Capitol is very true. I don't have much to add to that, but it does deeply influence Coriolanus and I think he has a twisted sense of emotional intelligence which just contributes to him being contradictory to himself all the time.

let's chat here :)

#coryoasks #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x y/n #coriolanus smut

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favvn · 2 months

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Once again, I am dissecting words, but the parallels and implications they hold are just.... too compelling. For the sake of this meta/commentary, I am taking the episode as it is played out before the reveal, wherein Spock truly believes he has killed Kirk. All of this is centered on Spock's pledge before the ceremony and his rejection of the Vulcan blessing and how those things are linked together by his life.

When T'Pau sees that Spock has brought two humans along with him to his marriage-or-challenge, she initially questions him about it with the implication that no outsiders are allowed to bear witness to the ceremony. But Spock declares them his friends, prompting T'Pau to say, "Thee names these outworlders "friends." How does thee pledge their behavior?"

Spock replies, "With my life, T'Pau."

Spock essentially vows that, should Kirk or McCoy completely desecrate their customs, he will pay for it with his own life. (It is, of course, unclear that if by doing so Spock is to die outright or that the rest of his life would be spent back on Vulcan under service to T'Pau or something of that nature. Regardless of the difference, it's still a kind of death for Spock to be limited to his home planet, away from the very people he has chosen as his friends.) The converse of this means that Spock has such complete trust in both Kirk and McCoy that he can offer his life as collateral for their behavior. What a bond! Wow!

The only one to die in the ceremony, as it turns out, is Kirk.

Now, this is what gets to me: between the Vulcan blessing--"live long and prosper"--and Spock's refusal of it, is the very thing Spock pledged earlier for the sake of his friends, his life. Now that Kirk--his friend--is dead, he rejects a blessing that speaks to the future. He has unknowingly kept his initial pledge after all: his life for his friend's sake, but it is now in reverse. Spock pledged his life for his friends, but now that one of them is dead by his own hands, so goes his life.

(Like. Had the episode taken the events to a negative conclusion, Spock won't prosper because he has killed his captain. Starfleet is hardly going to excuse the death of a captain due to a ritual they will have never heard of nor would Spock wish to speak of it, so Spock will be put on trial for his captain's death, and he would plead guilty to boot. Whatever punishment would await him, he'd take wholeheartedly, which would alter the rest of his future as a consequence. To say nothing of if it would later crack through his Vulcan training and leave him grappling with terribly strong and terribly dire emotions. But this is all supposition / I need to look for the fanfics about a tragic end to Amok Time. Or add it to my to-write/daydream about list shfgbdhjk.)

#star trek tos #amok time #spock #there's just too damn much to chew on with this show #very very addicting for my brain. getting to draw connections. parse out meaning from fragments. absolute brain food.#ntm.... the pledging of one's life.... marriage vows..... hmmm #another pin in the “spirk got married in amok time” board #trek meta

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pomplalamoose · 6 months

Text

DILF Luke headcanons / story draft pt. 3

🍂modern day AU🍂

A/N: we've made it to part 3, people!!! As always thank you so much for reading, I hope you'll like it🩵🩵

part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5

• he doesn't change out of his work clothes

• and as tired as you are, it makes your heart beat faster when he nevertheless starts to get more comfortable

• he removes his tie and loosens the collar of his elegant button down shirt by opening it at the top

• you can't stop staring at his strong neck, at the spot where his collar bones meet, wondering if he'd like to be kissed there

• if he'd let you

• he settles down rather closely on the sofa next to you, spreading his long legs wide

• his thigh is nearly touching yours and you can feel its warmth even through the blanket you're wrapped in

• seriously fighting the instinct to snuggle into his chest, your thoughts are luckily interrupted when he asks what you would like to watch

• even though you were the one to ask to turn on the TV, you have no idea

• it doesn't help that he's now leaning back and drapes his arm over the sofa's head rest immediately behind you

• if you were to sink back just slightly it'd look like he were holding you close

• is he doing this on purpose?

• you feel your face heating up

• to distract yourself, and maybe him as well, you return the question

• what would he like to watch?

• I think he'd be the type to be genuinely interested in documentaries about wild life, natural phenomena and countries far away

• he also enjoys to watch the news and, when he feels like having a relaxed evening, maybe something like old classics in black and white

• though you eventually agree upon randomly switching through TV channels; maybe you'll find something both of you like

• despite not really being into what the every day TV program has to offer, he warms up to whatever is on when he sees you're having a good time with it

• maybe you are embarrassed to make him stop on something you think looks fun

• he wouldn't say anything of course, but you can tell from his raised eyebrow that he's questioning your tastes

• naturally you have the urge to defend yourself and he softens a lot as soon as you start talking in a more animated way

• this way you most likely end up watching a really stupid reality or game show

• if he's being honest with himself he isn't watching TV anyways, his sole focus being on you and you alone

• really, he'd let anything play if it meant seeing you smile but would never admit to it out loud

• at the same time he's very relieved to see you growing more relaxed around him again

• he noticed how startled you were by his behavior earlier that evening

• he feels bad for loosing his nerves and, above all, that you had to be the one at the recieving end of his raised voice

• it made you cry and he can't stop beating himself up about it

• luckily you seem distracted enough to not dwell on it

• hopefully you'll forgive him

• he can't help the sarcastic comment at the expense of the people on TV

• it wasn't supposed to slip out!

• for god's sake, you're not supposed to think he's mean, that's not the impression he wants you to leave with

• so imagine his surprise and joy when you softly giggle in response

• he's smitten

• what a lovely sound

• he wishes to hear it as much as he can and imagines placing his lips on yours to taste your smile

• instead he asks if you're warm enough

• possibly he uses it as an excuse to rub your arm

• you are, in fact, very warm but maybe he'll pull you closer if you pretend not to be?

• the thought alone makes you flush and faster than you can think about the consequences you speak

• "maybe? I think I'm a bit chilly still"

• he's immediately alarmed

• "you are not catching a cold, are you?"

• quickly sitting up he reaches out to touch your forehead and then your cheeks with the back of a hand

• when he decides your temperature is normal enough, he leaves to make you another tea before you can say anything to stop him

• you are a little disappointed but use the time he's gone to text your friend

• it feels strange, wrong even, to not let them know that you're spending an evening, and apparently the night as well, at their house

• they respond immediately

• just like their dad they're SO worried and for a moment their resemblance makes you smile

• they're not even questioning why you're there, just wanting to make sure that you are okay

• you feel loved

• promising that you are, you ask when they'll be back

• there's something you want to talk to them about in person

• when Luke returns it's quiet for a while

• he's watching you closely as you obediently sip your tea, trying to suppress how nervous this makes you

• hopefully he doesn't notice your trembling hands

• "Your hands are shaking, are you sure that everything is okay? Is there something you need?"

• ah damn

• sighing softly you finally gather up all your courage and ask whether he'd mind if you were to scoot just a little bit closer

• he's response doesn't come as fast as you had hoped

• as his silence stretches on you become scared you went too far

• you press your eyes shut, ready to blurt out an apology when he calmly reaches out to put aside your cup, then beckons you closer until you are comfortably tugged into his side

• immediately you realize how wonderfully warm he is and how very nice he smells

• clean and faintly like the herbs in your tea

• in surprise you blink up at him but his face betrays not a single thought

• meeting your gaze he asks if you're comfortable

• you nod and thank him shyly, trying to stay as still as possible; he mustn't know how your heart is nearly beating out of your chest

• you stay like this for a long time

• minutes pass by unnoticed by you, as the only thing you are able to focus on are his deep breaths and his arm around your smaller form

• and yet, lulled in by the TV's soft voices and Luke's calming presence, you slowly drift off, your head sinking to the side until it hits his chest

• you are fast asleep by the time he starts absentmindedly stroking your hair

• you don't tell your friend about what happened that night until you see them again

• and when you finally do, you tell them everything

• about how you felt when you saw their father for the first time

• about how suddenly your heart beat like crazy when he so much as smiled at you

• about how you not only looked forward to seeing them but their dad as well and how he soon occupied every single one of your thoughts

• you tell them about how he somehow frightens you and draws you in at the same time

• that you can't figure him out, despite how fascinating you think he is

• you talk about your car rides home, about how he held your leg tight from the very beginning

• and how horribly afraid you were, when he estranged himself after slightly opening up, that he'd never look at you again

• how afraid you still are

• finally you dare to admit your undeniable attraction to him

• you apologize for what feels like a hundred times

• you should have told them way earlier

• they deserved to know

• your friend obviously needs a while to digest what they just heard and, to your dismay, you can't tell how they feel about all of this

• they admit they don't know themselves but eventually have lots of questions

• the first thing they ask is whether something happened between you and their father

• did you tell him how you feel?

• did he say anything himself?

• did you kiss?

• or... more?

• they seem relieved when you always answer in the negative

• it's nothing personal, they assure you when they ask you to leave, but this is a mess and they need time

• meanwhile Luke acts as if nothing happened, which hurts your feelings considerably more

• your friend doesn't leave you hanging though and soon invites you out for a coffee

• it's been a long while since you met somewhere that wasn't their house

• it saddens you but you understand

• as it turns out you are about to get lots of information your friend doesn't want to give with their father lurking around

• while they still don't know how to feel about the development of your feelings, you aren't the first to fall for him

• far from it; they way it sounds it seems to be a rather common occurrence

• many came before you, some of them even brave enough to confess their feelings

• Luke turned down all of them

• and not only his child's friends but his own acquaintances as well

• he does not want anyone coming close after what happened to his wife, your friend's mother

• and while this is something you had feared and suspected yourself, it hurts to have it affirmed

• your friend's parents fought a lot

• their marriage wasn't a happy one

• but despite how much they pushed back and forth, despite everything, they loved each other

• Luke loved his wife so much

• he never was the same again after she left, guilt and grieve weighing him down

• one evening the couple got into an especially bad fight, worse than the ones they ever had before

• your friend doesn't know what it was about, their father never told them

• nevertheless they didn't consider stopping on their way home to talk it out, instead continuing through the night

• the weather was awful, your friend remembers, cold and wet, with the streets slowly turning to ice

• their parents dispute slowly but surely spiralled out of control

• she demanden he stop the car to let her out immediately

• not one minute longer did she want to stay in his vicinity

• and as angry as their father was, he still respected her wishes; who was he to deny her?

• so he let her go, and still they were raging on and neither of them looked out

• and the streets, empty a second ago, suddenly weren't anymore

• a truck appeared so fast that even if they hadn't been screaming at each other, they wouldn't have seen it coming

• your friend's mother was dead before she hit the pavement

• the responsible driver vanished into the night as fast as he materialized and could never be identified

• Luke blames himself for her death

• of course he does

• it's his fault his child lost a beloved person

• he doesn't listen when others tell him he's young enough to re marry, to love again

• he doesn't allow himself to let it go

• and suddenly everything makes sense to you

• his cold and dismissive behavior

• the calculated small talk and the immediate retreat after

• his refusals to let you leave the house alone as soon as it gets dark outside

• his insistence for you to sit next to him in the front of the car

• his hand on your thigh and the way his grip turnes to stone when you try to iniate conversation

• his reaction when he found you that night not long ago, freezing and frightened on his front steps

• neither of you know what to say after your friend is done telling their story

• eventually they try to explain that they'd be more than happy to see their father in a relationship again

• it's just...whenever someone even so much as tried to show interest he shut it down immediately

• and every time they lost someone in the process

• they don't want to loose you too

• "You're my best friend, please don't tell him about your feelings. I'm afraid I'll never see you again if he breaks your heart."

• they are not angry at you, just afraid

• and they know so is their father

• "He knows he's the reason for my friends leaving, that's another reason for his odd behaviour. He doesn't want to catch their interest."

• your head hurts but you feel lighter now, knowing that your friend is still your friend

• but...don't they think Luke likes you just a bit?

• only a little bit?

• you mean, did he drive their other friends home?

• did he give them his phone number too?

• what about all the presents he got for you?

• did he turn controlling when worried for the others as well?

• did he even worry in the first place?

• oh also: you didn't imagine how he sometimes finds reasons to stay around for longer instead of withdrawing like he used to, right?

• right????

• he called you sweetheart once, that HAS to count for something

• your friend has grown thoughtful

• "maybe you DO have a point, you know"

• they promise to do some investigation and you agree to meet again soon

#luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #luke star wars #dilf luke #dilf luke skywalker #star wars fanfiction #star wars #luke skywalker fanfiction #star wars a new hope #star wars empire strikes back #star wars return of the jedi #fanfic #star wars headcanons

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glow-worms-are-believers · 11 months

Text

Time makes strangers of us all (dp x dc)

It was a mild night. They were way pasts sweater weather, what with summer fast approaching but the air was still pleasantly cool as the sun went down. Jazz liked that about the late spring months, no more allergies but the smell of summer in the air. It was a quiet night in Amity. It wasn't quite so rare as it had been a few years ago but it was still something the people here knew to be grateful for. At least most of them.

Jazz sighed as she walked through the darkening streets. The sky was turning a beautiful dark blue colour, and here and there street lamps were lighting up. She'd gone long enough to have reached the park that was nearby and she started down the road that followed its edge. Her eyes settled on the illuminated scenes of people going about their evening. With the lack of natural light, the warm glow that shined through the windows made it all the more visible. As she walked within view of a large stone house with its balcony door open, she could hear piano notes filtering through the quiet night. Jazz slowed down as she passed in front, maximizing her time within earshot of the peaceful music.

She could see someone washing the dishes in one house, and a couple sitting on the couch in another. Some windows, she didn't see anyone, but the warm light indicated a soul was awake somewhere in the house. Jazz didn't wish that warm light was hers, at least not anymore. Leaving Amity Park for college had given her something like perspective, and coming back after two years left her with complicated feelings.

Tonight, it seemed nostalgia was the most prominent one. She reached the end of the street which brought her face to face with the river. She used to catch fireflies with Danny near here and she wondered if there were still some around. With a smile, she started on the path following the riverside as the first stars started to come out.

It was truly a beautiful night. Not a cloud in the sky, Danny would've loved to go stargazing. It was almost a shame he had stayed back at their apartment near campus. He'd said he had a big assignment due and had begged off the trip. Jazz could understand. She had made the same kinds of excuses for two years to avoid coming here.

Danny would come around one day. He would realize, as she did, that the life they'd left behind wasn't waiting here in Amity Park. It wasn't waiting anywhere anymore because it no longer existed. Their old house was sold, the inventions, the portal, long dismantled. There were no more ghosts in Amity Park except the ones Jazz had come here to lay to rest. From the corner of her eyes she caught something moving. She turned her head to see one lone firefly sitting on a leaf of the willow tree that was growing on the bank. Jazz smiled as she crouched to get a better view of the small insect. As she looked at its antenna that were gently swaying in the wind, she caught herself wishing Danny had come with her after all if only to reminisce together.

Someone cleared their throat behind her and Jazz jumped a feet in the air. She turned around quickly. In front of her was a man, looking about the same age as she was. He was about the same size as her as well, maybe a bit shorter, though his shoulder width more than made up for it. His face showed surprise at having surprised her so badly.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking awkwardly apologetic, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright," Jazz said as she willed her heartbeat to slow down to its normal speed.

"My bike broke down," he explained as he gestured behind him towards the highway in the distance. "I was wondering if you knew the closest mechanic around?"

Jazz winced. "Sal's is definitely closed by now," she answered.

The guy sighed wearily. "I figured," he said. "Do you know someplace I could crash for the night?"

"Amity's Bed and Breakfast is close by," Jazz offered. "I can show you if you'd like?"

"That'd be great," said the guy as his shoulders slumped a little.

Jazz nodded before stepping back on the river path fully. Like that, she had a better view of the highway coming into town and the big Welcome sign that proclaimed Amity Park was "a nice place to live". With a last nostalgic thought before she let the peace of the evening disperse fully, Jazz let a small smile stretch her lips. It really was a nice place now, the golden sky after the storm.

"My name's Jazz," she started as she turned her back on the road in the distance.

"I'm Jason," the guy said as he followed after her.

Yeah, thought Jazz as they retraced back her steps from earlier that night, her days of running around chasing the undead were truly and completely over.

It was smooth sailing for her from here on out.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #tall jazz #jason todd #jazz fenton #honey you've got a big storm coming #huhuhu #what would be funnier:#Jason being here because there was something weird and he wants to investigate #OR Jason being on a roadtrip/vacation and being just as pissed as Jazz about the Shenanigans(tm)?#roxpox #roxpoxwrote

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clouds-of-wings · 8 months

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I read a text by Varg Vikernes yesterday where he talked about his childhood and how his experiences in school made him into the Marxism hating Superaryan he is today. It's actually pretty interesting - turns out he spent part of his childhood in Iraq because his father was an engineer who got a job there and took his family with him. He had to go to Iraqi public school because the English school was full. (Is that true..? Does that mean he speaks Arabic..? I can't imagine that would have been possible otherwise?)

But he was only there for a while*, mostly the text was about his experiences back in Norway. Kindergarten was already Marxist far-left feminist HELL because you weren't allowed to be alone, you had to share all your toys (which probably, as in other hell-kindergärten, means 'If another kid takes away the toy you were playing with, you aren't allowed to complain'), it was boring, it was collectivist and so on. Same story in school, of course: He was finished with his tasks after five minutes and had to wait for the rest of the lesson until even the dumbest kid had finished. All because of this Marxist Socialist approach that everyone deserved help, everyone was supposed to reach the same level of attainment. He eventually started skipping school a lot and taught himself everything.

It's interesting to me because my own experiences were so similar, yet I came to completely different conclusions from that. It's just so clear to me that the real problem wasn't that the kids around Varg got too much help, it's that he got too little. I strongly believe that smart and talented kids are special needs kids too. They need extra help every bit as much as a deaf or dyslexic kid. Failing that, it's normal for them to become bored, frustrated, depressed or aggressive, just as he describes himself becoming, to even do badly in school despite being more than capable of keeping up.

Smart kids need exciting challenges, food for their minds, personal mentoring, help with the parts of life they are bad at (often social stuff). It's not a coincidence that the people who make a name for themselves as artists or intellectuals are usually from families of artists or intellectuals or otherwise come from an environment that encouraged and rewarded certain behaviours and interests, for example special schools or cultural hot spots that allowed talent to flourish. It's very hard to realize your potential when no one encourages it.

Varg eventually discovered the black metal scene of his day of course, but I wish he had grown up in a place that was even more "Marxist", even more about giving everyone the help they needed, a place that had evolved enough to realize that just because a kid is smart doesn't mean that it's okay to leave them to their own devices. It's basically neglect to just throw a gifted kid in with everyone else and not give them any help. The Marxist axiom "to each according to their needs, from each according to their ability" comes to mind.

I actually agree that collectivism can keep a talented person down. Egalitarianism is often used as a virtuous excuse to make sure a clique will triumph over an individual. I think this is a problem that egalitarian and collectivist spaces generally have, I've even seen it in ethnographies about otherwise pretty paradisaical societies. But clearly this is a blatant waste of talent, and quite cruel. Societies that allow for positions like "shaman" have a better idea: this person gets special training, but in return they perform a service that few others could perform. That way, there's reciprocity. Isn't that the true Marxist way..?

\* It must have been at most a year - they went in 1979 and the 1st Gulf War started in 1980 - given that the text is about how he triumphed against adversity, I think he would have mentioned if he'd been there during that time

#varg vikernes #music stuff #politics #that all assuming he's telling the truth #but the larger point stands regardless

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baldurs-gate-official · 8 months

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Ok I just need to vent for a sec because I finished my Romanced/non-ascended Astarion run and gosh

As someone who suffers from severe PTSD... this means a lot to me. I've seen so many characters in media with PTSD where the condition isn't taken seriously/written poorly, or the only 'happy ending' they get is death.

But this... This is nice. The life I've lived is abnormal. I don't talk about it much because most people either wouldn't believe it, or might feel bad just for hearing it. I've survived torture, starvation, attempted murder, and I'm only just coming out of a lifetime of that. I was trapped for ages. Years. So many years. It's made it hard to trust people, or feel genuinely cared for. And being able to play a character on the other side of that, as someone confronted with a person traumatized and tasting freedom for the first time... and being able to help them, despite the difficulties, and get them to a place of safety and happiness is... I don't even know what word to use. It makes me feel hopeful, in a way. Seen. Understood a little.

And his reaction to freedom and safety! While it's not exactly like my own, it's so close. And I've never seen that feeling represented before. Safety is terrifying! Trusting people is terrifying! It feels impossible to believe anyone would genuinely stick with you while you work it all out.

When you go through a life of trauma, there's no such thing as safety. You get so used to the danger that going without it is the most terrifying thing in the world. Your brain and body can't comprehend that there isn't a threat. Before I escaped my situation, I knew there was always danger. I was always prepared for it, I was used to it, and knew how to tell when and how I needed to react. Being scared is familiar. It's a crutch, almost. The fear keeps you alert and alive. But... when the source of that fear is gone, you're left with this horrible feeling that the danger hasn't passed - you just can't see where it's coming from or what shape it'll take.

It's numbing. But a weird numbness. You flip between that and deep periods of, 'Oh fuck oh god, all of that really happened and now I have to pick up the pieces and live with it'.

Seeing someone else going through that, and being able to say the things I wish someone would tell me (and not even realize I needed to hear it until after) feels so good in the most aching way possible.

And the Cazador scene! There's one part at the start that hits so hard:

That last line is everything I wish I could say to my own parents. I was punished for everything. Anything I did was an excuse to hurt me, even something as simple as showing an emotion or reacting to the pain. But when I escaped it all, and my father tried to pull me back, he tried to frame it like he'd done it all for my own good. That I was the one at fault, and failed despite his best efforts to 'help' me.

I wish I had the courage to yell those words at him, instead of trying to keep peace and make myself meek. "Fuck you and fuck everything you've ever done to me". I feel that in my soul. I want to scream it at him until my lungs hurt and I can't breathe.

And his ending... He can't stay in the sun anymore. It hurts him. It'll affect him for the rest of his life. But he has someone who cares for him, who will stay with him despite that, who doesn't view it as a hindrance. I can't even describe how that makes me feel. I have wounds from what was done to me that will never truly heal, and until now I've always thought of it as a flaw that would make me unlovable. As odd as it is... Him not being able to go in the sun makes it an even happier ending for me? Yes, it hurts and it sucks. But... He's not alone. Part of him believes you'll leave him now that he's confined to the shadows. Proving him wrong feels like a final affirmation that, yes, you're really staying with him. It's real, and he won't be alone. Everything will be okay, despite the pain.

Anyways thanks for coming to my traumadump. I really wish Larian would give us more opportunities to hug Astarion.

#BG3 #baldur's gate 3 #Astarion #traumadump #CW PTSD and Abuse #Also #And I have some incredible friends and social workers helping me get through it #I'll be ok. This is the best I've ever been #if you have questions I don't mind answering #it feels good to talk about tbh. and if I can keep people from worrying I will #q

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midnightraine131 · 7 months

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Love Letters from the Skies to the West Coast - Chapter 4 / 15

Pairing: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart Minor: Levi Ackermann/ Hange Zoe, Historia Reiss / Ymir Tags: Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Teenage Love, Awkward First Times, Slow Burn, POV Armin Arlert, Bottom Armin Arlert, Wet Dreams Warning: R18 contains sensitive topics If you are easily triggered by religions, specifically Christianity and Catholicism, I don't think this fic is for you. I have nothing against these religions and this fic is anything but serious. Summary: They say the most judgmental people are those who attend church on Sundays. Despite growing up in a Christian household, Armin Arlert felt overburdened by the pile of ministry activities assigned to him. So he made a pact with himself to never follow in his father's footsteps and become a pastor. With the goal of saving enough money to persuade his parents to let him move to another state after high school, he started accepting paid essay projects in school in secret. Everything in Armin's busy life seemed manageable until he met Annie Leonhart, a Californian girl whose parents had moved her against her will to Vermont. Upon discovering Armin's secret business, Annie approached him with a unique request- to write love letters for a long-distance lover. To craft the perfect love letters, she would help Armin embark on a journey of firsts— his first kiss, first hug, first date, and first everything in a relationship.thing in a relationship.

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Awkward silence.

That’s the best word Armin could describe their current situation. Annie sat on the bench beside him, her arms crossed over her chest. Her right leg rested atop the other, gently swinging her foot up and down. He couldn't discern if she expected him to say something foolish again or if he should awkwardly excuse himself, blurting out, "Hi, Doc Hange! I just remembered I have some errands to run. Send the bills to my address! Gotta go!" Then, making a dash for the door as if his life depended on it.

But, no, that scenario was wishful thinking. His grandfather was picking him up from this clinic; he needed a ride home.

Armin closed his eyes in resignation. If there were an award for making a situation awkward, he'd surely earn a noble prize.

He shifted his gaze toward the counter, squinting to catch their reflection in its glass finish. Annie appeared disinterested, likely gazing out of the window. He followed her line of sight and spotted her watching tangerine-colored leaves dancing in the wind. One leaf glided and swirled mid-air before disappearing from view. Armin rarely appreciated such things, but as he turned back to Annie, seeing her face light up, he found tranquility in that moment.

Annie's countenance was a fortress for her emotions; she guarded them skillfully, hiding something fragile. In a split second, she smiled. As Armin blinked, her usual stoic expression returned. He made a mental note that the next time he caught her smile, he wouldn't blink so she couldn't shield herself. She’s indeed a very pretty girl, he mused.

Clearing her throat, Annie broke the silence. "That's quite awkward, isn't it? If you have nothing more to say, I'll return to my work."

Armin blinked, looking away and feeling his face heat up. He shifted his seat as far as possible. "I said what I meant."

"Do you really mean it?"

He nodded.

Of course, he did. They might not have been the usual words one would say, but it was Armin. He'd bluntly speak his mind without much thought. Before he could answer, the door burst open.

Hange, sliding a pen back into her white-coated pocket, reviewed a report on her clipboard. "As I suspected, your girl is extremely malnourished. She was just a week old and required extensive care for a few days before she could eat independently. Also, her wounds are infected, not too severe, but I need to prescribe some antibiotics." Scribbling down prescriptions, she then noticed the two awkward teenagers on the bench. "Oh, do you two know each other?" she inquired.

Despite Hange being among the brightest individuals Armin knows in town, she occasionally displays a certain naiveté, often unintentionally. She's been married for over two years to Levi Ackerman, a pet groomer, possibly her first boyfriend post-university. Rumours has it they've chosen not to have children, instead opting to be devoted "fur parents." Their love for their fur babies evolved into a business—a small clinic offering pet grooming services.

Armin rose and approached the counter, where Hange was jotting down notes. Somehow, he felt relieved to escape an awkward conversation with Annie. "Well, um, yeah, we know each other. So, what will the bill be?" he inquired.

Hange clicked her tongue and sighed. "I won't charge you for the consultation, but for her medications, milk, and vaccines. It might be a bit costly. Also, my clinic is currently filled with animals carrying diseases. I can't risk a small kitten falling ill, so she needs a home."

Armin sensed Annie standing behind him, listening. He glanced at her before returning his focus to the doctor. While he could persuade his parents to adopt the kitten, he didn't want to engage in discussions about shouldering the expenses with them.

"As much as I'd like to take her, my dad will probably kick me out before I bring the kitten home," Annie deadpanned.

"Hmm." Hange leaned on her table, chin resting on her palm. "I can see in Armin's eyes that he wants the cat too. How about co-parenting for the cat? Armin provides a home while Annie supports her needs in exchange for visiting rights. You're a full-time staff member at my clinic, so you are eligible for a staff rate, it won't hurt much."

Not a bad idea, but...

"Uh, that's fine with me. I'm not sure about Annie," Armin replied, looking down at the white-tiled floor.

"I have no issue with that," Annie said, crossing her arms.

"It's settled then!" Hange clapped her hands in delight. "I'll prepare her things so you can head home. I have a small cage here for you. I'll be right back." She continued to chatter as she vanished into one of the rooms, leaving the two blondes alone.

Armin smiled awkwardly at Annie.

Great.