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#i wish sometimes i could go INTO peoples brains and just know for certain that theyre telling the truth
iheartmoons · 10 months
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hello. anyone willing to let me hang from their lips like the gardens of babylon?
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samuraisharkie · 1 day
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due to Life Shit I kind of stopped drawing much about a year or two after I graduated high school bc I just kind of didn’t have the time or mental/emotional/physical capacity to fit it in, despite art being something I really want to be a part of my career. It kind of makes me sick to realize how much muscle memory I lost just from that time (I had only about a year and a half total of absolutely no art but that was enough. doesn’t help that during that time I seriously injured my hands) considering I’ve been drawing my entire life. I really wish things had not gone that way and that I could have kept going, but expectations were on me to do something else and any time I sat down to draw was treated as wasting time. There’s also something weird about recovering from severe trauma that kind of adjusts how you engage with a hobby you used as a coping mechanism, which Art very much was. I almost never drew vent art, but I used it to focus on something and make myself happy and proud of work I actually could do, and once I was out of the environments that funneled me into drawing (being forced to go to church, school, anything involving sitting down for a long period of time) I found less time to actually have an excuse. Someone bought me a single college course of art classes right out of high school, and I think that was where I COULD have had the opportunity to really get started if I had actually had the money to continue and the college hadn’t been so far away. After that course ended I didn’t have that excuse anymore. I used to draw in DeviantArt and Discord art groups, but those began to fall apart and soon I didn’t have that option either. After that I doodled but didn’t really create Full Pieces unless some friend asked it of me, and it was never a commission bc I’d never trained myself to get that sort of shit done without taking too long, so I’d always do it for free. So even that wasn’t a big motivator eventually. Now that I’m struggling for work after becoming more physically disabled after COVID, all that time I could have spent honing my art skills so I could do SOMETHING with my art really is weighting down on me. I have the option to do freelance work, illustrations, pet commissions, even things like cards and cookies. I’ve seen these avenues open up for me gradually, but I’ve lost the skills I built up that I need to actually make something I’m proud of. I’ve taken to tracing old art to try and remember my thought process and my “style”… but my memory was bad BEFORE the covid, and it’s worse now, and my brain fog makes it hard to focus even if I could get back on the train of thought. I don’t remember the construction that would be in my mind’s eye. I barely can keep a clear vision in my mind’s eye anymore, worryingly. I never had a crystal clear imagination, it was always sort of abstract, but I could see the lines, I could construct a scene. Now I have to focus hard to get any sort of detail clear in my head. It’s like if you tried to look directly into someone’s face in a dream, or put in a prompt in neural blender. So I have to adjust to performing the entire thought process physically, slowly and tediously trying to figure out what I’m imagining before I can really get started. Those old art tutorials for constructing shapes and bodies and such just aren’t coming naturally anymore so I have to dredge deep into my mind to remember which advice helped “click” the best and knowing it might not do it this second time around. It’s like if you forgot how to ride a bike. It was something natural to you, you could even get started haphazardly and distracted and still be able to tell where you were going and not fall over or trip on yourself, but now it’s like you have to focus on each step and it constantly feels like it’s taking everything you have to not crash. I’m glad I can start drawing again, but it hurts that something so huge in my life has been turned into this. I’ve ranted about it before it’s just easier to notice when you’re not sketching out people’s pets or doing super stylized doodles.
#I didn’t know you could max out a ‘text block’ on tumblr also. my indication to stop LOL#long post#vent#kind of. I’m not like super angsty abt it I’m just sad that I have to spend more time remembering#instead of actually accomplishing anything with my dreams. I’m 26 and there’s 18 year olds living my fucking dream yknow#I know you don’t have a certain age requirement for art but I also know you never stop improving#and being set back before I was even proud enough to set prices for my work is kind of devastating#I just love art. I want to be an animator or something involve with creative concepts.#I want to make things I’m proud of. but what used to come easily now feels like chewing nails#the metal ones not the cartilidge. anyway#I know I’m kind of hard on myself but it’s hard not to be when you’re surrounded by people with such talent#and it feels like you’re running behind when you see people getting to their dreams so much sooner than you.#I know it’ll happen but it hurts sometimes remembering what I used to imagine id be doing at this age#and realizing past me probably had more of a chance at these careers than I do right now bc of brain damage and physical and mental issues#it’s not confirmed if I have brain damage but like. I can tell something is different.#it’s not like they’d be able to diagnose it by now or even that it’d change anything#I just have to keep going and keep trying. it’s just discouraging and frustrating#I wish I could summon all the memories from my brain back up so I could feel happier about my art#I’m happy to have the chance to start drawing again don’t get me wrong. I still like to draw. it’s just.#I can tell the difference between how it was and how it is now and it makes me mourn#ough I wish I still had a therapist lmao. Deb get the fuck back here you traitor.
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talkbycolor · 4 months
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mushroom oasis headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; im very sensitive about mychael too, oops
Pairing; "Mychael" x GN!Reader
CW; idk alien sex (jk) / this is actually cute, dont worry
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Mychael as your boyfriend.
I just know that he likes to listen to ABBA with you and dance in the mornings when making breakfast or at night before going to sleep.
He purrs at bedtime, especially if you pet his hair.
You can caress his horns, they are softer than they look but also sensitive, be delicate
After a while of relationship, he could no longer avoid the growing guilt he felt and told you about the mushrooms in the forest and the brainwashing he did to you at the beginning.
Definitely identifies with Roar's "Christmas Kids" song.
Be thankful he doesn't have an internet connection or he'd make Deez Nuts cringe jokes.
He is the perfect person for fairycore, you have already begged him to do makeup together, even though he didn't need any of that.
He likes to feel safe, silly and childish with you, having learned to take care of himself since… well, always, it was a drain on the soul. what a relief to his heart to be able to be childish with you, like a break.
He still has certain self-esteem problems, his eyes always dilate when you say nice things about him (or when he's about to jump and attack ((kiss you)))
It's not like Mychael is an uncivilized being, but you've taken the time to teach him several things on dates you've had, things that perhaps he didn't know due to his isolation from society.
You're actually a little scared of what could happen if they discover Mychael's existence, so if you live together it will be in the forest.
Sometimes he is selfish and brainwashes you when he wants more kisses or just feels too needy to let you go out with your friends.
For him there is no such thing as breaking up, he will beg you for answers and ask countless times what the problem is or what you want him to change, as a last resort he would brainwash you so that you stay by his side, even if it's like a shell.
"They were 20 and decided to end their life just like this. They went up to the 21st floor and left without saying "goodbye." I wonder if when they were flying through the air they remembered… ..I once told him if you kill yourself I'm gonna kill myself too!" Basically Mychael not being able to continue with his life alone once he meets MC, if you leave, so does he.
The first time you had sex, bro, Mychael almost had to be chained up, he acted like a spoiled kid when he tried his new favorite candy.
Mychael composes songs for MC, he will even try to get new instruments, new talents, anything to entertain his firefly and have them stay in the forest with him.
Is the kind of old-fashioned sculpted lover, don't doubt that you will look like a 60-year-old couple with 3 chickens and a dog, your wish is his command. If you can't go out to eat at an elegant restaurant, he will get a recipe book to prepare the best dishes and put candles on the table. If you don't have new clothes, he will knit what you like. If you don't like the color of the cabin, he will paint everything as many times as necessary.
Physically? Mychael will never hurt you, using guilt as manipulation is not to his liking either, he loves you too much so he will only wash your brain to have a perfect life by your side, don't worry, you are safe from the world and you will have healing caresses every night , even if it is not today, if it is not tomorrow, you will learn to need it on your own and stay at will.
Mychael is terrified of people, the opinion of the masses made him think of himself as a monster and he can't help but blurt out little comments mocking his own appearance. Being with you makes him forget what he is. Why was he surprised? Because you didn't look away.
His saliva is a little salty and something tells me that he produces goo when he is excited, trust me (delulu)
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spacebarbarianweird · 4 months
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I wish I could do this as an ask from @astarionsbeloved but Tumblr is bein Tumblr.
I'd like to ask for a head canon! Astarion with an autistic partner? As an adult autistic afab who was very late diagnosed and is constantly struggling to balance things (including skill regression which I seriously wish they'd talk about more), I'd love to read someone else's personal head canon for this.
Ok, this one was difficult! Thanks @rachelle-on-the-run for tips!
Astarion x Autistic Tav
Masterlist
Headcanons
You have always been aware something is off with you.
It's not like you are sick or deranged, but you have had difficulties communicating with other people or understanding what this world wants from you.
You can't read social cues, often don't get the context, and are absolutely oblivious about flirting.
Your family has always blamed it on you - just take a grip! What do you mean, you can't go outside without a weird black cape that was given to you ages ago?
What do you mean you can't hold your tears? Are you a toddler?
Grow up!
The kidnapping and getting the tadpole in your brains really take a toll on you.
You can't sleep in the tent. You've lost your black cape.
There are too many people around you. You have to sleep in different places every night. You have to eat what you manage to find, not your comfort food.
You see it as a chance to get this grip. You can. You are an adult. You can make your brain work!
For a while, you manage to do so. But you can't understand why Astarion pays so much attention to you.
Until Gale tells you that it's flirting.
You are embarrassed. With little to no sexual experience, you just thought Astarion was friendly!
And you absolutely can't read the room which ends up with Gale being offended by your comments about his personal life, and Shadowheart almost puts some sort of a curse on you just because you blurted something insensitive.
And yep, you've crossed Astarion's boundaries a few times. Because you just couldn't understand why certain things hurt him.
And then, something horrible happens.
There is a battle. Not the bloodiest, not the most difficult.
But you have a meltdown.
It's just too much. Too many sounds, too many people, too much, too much.
You cry and scream, throwing objects into the wall.
The whole party is embarrassed.
But not Astarion.
He gently takes you to the camp where he tugs you in the blanket while speaking something soft in Elven.
And then he leaves you alone making sure no one from the camp disturbs you.
When you feel better you crawl outside to notice him sitting with a book.
"I am sorry", you sniff.
"Don't. It's not your fault. Besides, I should admit, you've done your best all this time."
You are shocked. There is understanding in his voice.
"It's just how your brain works, Tav. You are overwhelmed easily, it's ok."
He helps you to re-create your routine making it workable at the camp.
He even gets you a comfort cape - not like the one you used to have, but a very similar one.
Astarion also looks for food you can eat as a picky eater and scolds anyone at camp who tries to ostracize you
At the sametime , he doesn't allow anyone to infantilize you.
You are a grown adult so is he. You can make decisions and deal with consequences.
For him it's a nice change as well - he has to be very clear with you saying what he wants and why.
You have to deal with a stigma - people who know you often call Astarion a predator because he sleeps with a person who is "mentally ill."
He doesn't take any of this bs. You aren't ill. You know what you do.
Mostly.
With time, he learns how to deal with your meltdowns and even predict them. He professionally takes you away from the possible triggers and makes sure you are okay.
You shower him with your affection - sometimes unpredictable, sometimes crossing his boundaries.
You accidentally help him deal with his back scars. You just didn't realize you weren't supposed to touch them.
You started rubbing his back with your gentle fingers and before Astarion managed to get away from you, he suddenly realized it felt nice.
It is still a lot of work for you two.
But you glad to share this journey with each other.
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria@not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx@astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95@tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars
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rebouks · 2 months
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Previous // Next
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[Brodie flicked through the mail, instantly recognising the scrawling handwriting of a certain redheaded little boy. Scaring a few birds in the process, he bellowed up the stairs: ALEEEEX!] Alex: [breathless] Is it for me?! Brodie: Nah, but I could do with some help carrying this super heavy envelope upstairs. Alex: Who do you think you are, Johnny Zest? Brodie: I’m better than that guy, c’mon…
… Hi Alex! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you, I promise I didn’t forget! I guess I just didn’t really know what to say cos I’ve sorta not felt like myself recently. My mom says I disappear into my own world sometimes so I sorta did that again and found it hard to think of anything fun to say. I don’t think I’d mind if you wrote to me about the less fun parts of your life though n’ my dad says you shouldn’t really keep everything to yourself all the time cos it ends up hurting so I thought I’d write anyway n’ just force myself not to worry about being boring or whatever. Your letters and your life always sound so exciting compared to mine though so sometimes it’s hard not to!!
I got in a fight at school which sounds like it should be an exciting story, but it wasn’t really. There’s this kid called Levi in my class that always picks on me (don’t worry though, I don’t care about that) and I couldn’t be bothered listening to him anymore so I hit him a couple times, I thought he’d hit me back but he just freaked out so I sorta felt bad about it afterward. He still makes fun of me but he doesn’t get up in my face as much so that’s a plus. Who says violence doesn’t solve anything? Hahaha I’m kidding! It wasn’t nice of me but maybe he should know better than to push people around so much.
I’m looking forward to summer so I can wander off a bit more and maybe it won’t rain so much! My mom doesn’t really like it when I go too far but as long as I’m back before curfew she tries not to freak out about it which is nice of her cos she knows I like to explore n’ stuff. I shouldn’t complain about my family cos I love them n’ stuff but I like being on my own sometimes and it’d be nice to have a bit of peace now n’ then. I’ve got SUPER good hearing so it’s hard to find anywhere quiet in my house, especially cos there’s always something crazy going on. My aunt Alma is sorta similar to me so she’s been helping me block out the noise with this meditation sorta thing, I guess it’s hard to explain but it’s not as lame as it sounds, it’s kinda fun to see how long you can stay in your own brain without people interrupting you. That probably sounds really weird but maybe you sorta get what I mean?
I finally have a treehouse now too!! It reminds me of your watchtower in some ways, but I guess it’s no way cooler than that, even though I know you’re bored of it by now. I wish we could hang out in it together cos it’s super awesome! Mom n’ dad don’t really bother me when I’m up there n’ my brother n’ sisters can’t manage the ladder yet so it’s all mine! It’s right at the bottom of the garden and looks out over the whole Bay too! Mom said she might let me sleep in it once it gets a bit warmer! It’d be cool falling asleep to the sound of the waves.. I hope it doesn’t end up making me need to pee all night though haha!!
Wren’s been obsessed with watching me play on the computer recently and I keep tryna teach her how to play herself but her little fingers can’t really reach all the buttons on the keyboard too well and she gets stupid mad when she dies so she just makes me play instead. She’d kick me if I told anyone but she’s a bit scared of some of the monsters too lol!! Mom told me I shouldn’t let her watch those ones but they’re the only ones she WANTS to watch and she jumps all over me until I give in so idk what they expect me to do other than lock her in the pantry, but I got told off for that so I guess I shouldn’t do that again haha (Wren thought it was funny though so it’s all good!) It’s a shame you don’t have a computer in the tower otherwise we could play together! Jude n’ Jacob aren’t really into that sorta thing so I usually just play on my own. Do you have a computer back home??
Oh! I got another badge for my swimming lessons too! I’ve almost got em all now which is neat but I sorta wanna avoid getting the last ones cos anyone that gets them all or has good attendance n’ whatever get an award at the end of the school year. They save em all up to give out at some stupid last year disco thing they put on before summer for the last year kids n’ it’d be so cringe to get called out in front of everyone like that. Some people think it’s gonna be amazing like my friend Jude, but I’d rather not go at all. Mom n’ dad keep saying it’ll be fun n’ everyone else is excited about it too but how fun could something be if you’re technically at SCHOOL? Bleh! I know you said you hate it sometimes, but being homeschooled sounds awesome to me lol.
I keep tryna bug my parents to go camping again so we could maybe see each other but they won’t take me out of school for a holiday n’ dad’s too busy with some work project so I guess we’ll have to keep writing to each other instead! Maybe if I keep annoying them about it we can come back in the summer! I hope so anyway but I guess I don’t wanna piss em off TOO much just in case my plan backfires or something.
I still feel really bad about not writing sooner but my dad said better late than never so hopefully you’re not too upset with me! I’ll try my best to write faster next time so you don’t have to wait as long. I’m looking forward to hearing about everything you’ve been up to!! Love Robin c: ps. my dad’s friend finally helped me fix that old polaroid so I’ve sent you some random pictures I took to test it out! I’m still getting used to it but the next ones will be better, I swear!
… the treehouse! it even has cool lights on it!! the back of our house! it’s so big it’s hard to fit in a picture.. it sorta looks fancy but it’s not really n’ dad said it was cheap cos it was a shithole a rare Byrd! (grumpy too – dad tried to take his dummy off him lol) he’s not supposed to be on my bed… the Bay! Jude says I sound girly for saying it’s so pretty here but I don’t care I could take a million pictures of this place n’ never get bored (I’ll stop now though cos mom says these polaroid things aren’t cheap for this model.. oops lol!!)
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ateriblewriter · 10 months
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It’s Kind of Funny (q.h)
requested: sort of but not really. they requested one thing and this is what my brain came up with but it doesn’t really go with what was requested but it kind of does at the same time? sorry about that.
warnings: none really
enjoy! let me know what you guys think (please)
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y/n always loved the off season because it meant that she could spend more time with her beloved quinn, wether it was in vancouver or michigan. where they were didn’t matter, as long as they were together. it had been like that for years, until this year. this off season she was stuck in vancouver. with it being summer and all, many of her co-workers opted to take vacations, leaving the office short on people. y/n being the nice person she was, decided to take one for the team and work through her summer.
quinn planned on staying with his girlfriend but she knew he missed his family and urged him to go home to michigan to visit with them. to combat the fact that they weren’t going to be together, they set up a schedule with certain dates and times where they would sit down and chat over the phone. sometimes the call would take place over facetime, which often times of you were alone would lead to sexy times
unfortunately for y/n tonight wasn't a phone date night. after having a crummy day at work and desperately missing her quinn, she just really wanted hear his voice and maybe see his face. ideally she would love to curl up into his side as he held her, but she was going to take what she could get. and sure they had been messaging all day long but it wasn't anything compared to hearing his voice
"hey queenie. im a little busy right now what's up?" quinn inquired. he was currently out on the boat with his brothers and a couple of others. it wasn't the ideal place to have a conversation but since it wasn't a regularly scheduled time something must have been up.
even though it had been an unplanned call quinn was always willing and wanting to talking with his girlfriend. she was his everything. it had physically pained him when he had to leave her behind in canada. he wished like hell that he could have brought her along with him to michigan, but he understood how important her job was to her.
"i just need to hear your voice. today wasn’t good and i need you.” her voice was soft and quiet a hard combination to hear over the boat’s motor. but it had sounded a little bit off to him, there was a certain sadness oozing out of it.
"y/n? what's up? are you okay?” he pulled the boat to a stop as best he could. they hadn't started wake boarding yet, so no one was in the water. he could tell she was about to say something when he noticed the phone no longer in his hand.
"no phones quinn!" jack plucked he mobile device from his brother's grasp. there was a rule that bee put in place some time ago that no phones were allowed on the boat. of course they still brought them in case of emergencies, but that was their only purpose. this was friends and family time, everything else could wait.
"come one man, can i have it back? it's y/n" quinn tried to get his property back from his younger brother. "please jack."
"oh it's queenie? pass it here jack!" luke jokingly used the nickname that had been reserved only for quinn to use. the younger boy made grabby hands towards the thing in his older brother’s hands to which jack happily gave him, mischievous smiles dancing around their faces. holding the phone up to his ear, luke started to speak mimicking quinn's voice the best he could.
"queenie, darling, sweetie pie, my cutie patootie. you are the love of my life. i miss you so much. my love for you is endless. i want to marry you and have ten babies, three dogs, a cat and, maybe a fish!" the youngest sibling finished his little speech by making kissing noises into the receiver of the phone, causing everyone on the boat to erupt into laughter. everyone except quinn, who's face was beet red.
"luke come on. please, give it back" quinn began begging luke to stop and give him his phone back.
"but i'm not done talking to y/n. we still have things to discuss." luke giggled holding the device out of quinn's reach, coincidentally over the edge of the boat. “i haven’t told her about the big house yet!”
he had had enough. he was going to get the electronic back. climbing over his brother, quinn reached as far as he could and almost got it before the phone was knocked out of luke's hand. everyone watched in horror as the mobile device sunk to the bottom of the lake.
to say he was mad would be an understatement, quinn hughes was furious. y/n called him sounding like she was having a hard time with life and their summer distance and his stupid little brother had to go and dropped his phone.
"im sorry. i didn't mean for that to happen quinn." luke apologized profusely, but quinn wasn't listening anymore. sitting back down in the driver's seat, he turned the boat around, heading back for home base, so he could call her back on his computer.
y/n felt her phone vibrating in her pocket before she heard the deafening ringtone she programed into her phone letting her know that it was her favorite boy calling her. the caller was confirmed when she unlocked her phone, accepting the call and quinn's face popped up on the screen. once she answered and pleasant greetings were given, quinn listened as y/n ranted about her bad day throwing in an i’m sorry and a i love you every once in a while, and she did the same for him when it was his turn to complain about the people he was with.
“so what happened before?” y/n placed an elbow on the table and her head on her fist. she felt a lot better now that she was talking with her boo.
“it’s kind of funny, but it’s not funny.” quinn launched into the story of what happened after luke said what he did and why he was on a computer and not his phone.
“you really want to marry me? and start a family of ten with a couple of dogs and cats?” y/n joked about what the youngest hughes had said. a smile appearing on her face, that made quinn feel warm inside despite being thousands of miles away.
of course he did, he loved her and even had a ring picked out, he was just waiting for the right moment. the only thing he wasn��t sure about the ten kids. but who knew maybe a big family was in their future.
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infinity-mars · 1 year
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Play With Me
Pairing: Jack "Whiskey" Daniels x f!reader 
Word Count: 8.5k+
Rating: Explicit Smut (18+ only) 
Summary: You go out for a night of fun and encounter an alluring cowboy that does everything he can to capture your attention.
Also posted on my AO3 !
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You loved to dance. Those moments when your heart fluttered in your chest made you move like you could fly, relishing in the feeling of power it gave you. You weren’t particularly graceful or always on time, but there was a certain magnetic thrum in the air that bent you to its will all the same. 
From outdoor dance clubs to private velvet-roped lounges, discothèques, raves and rooftop bars, you’ve tried to see it all with your friend Kate by your side. 
The cool air nipped at you both as you finally walked inside the club, the heat of passing bodies a welcome feeling. The lit room had a hushed glow as people made their home for the night in plush seats off against the far walls. 
You imagined that the venue was similar to what Alice saw when she went down the rabbit hole and found herself in Wonderland. The bar certainly had the right name, you thought, the people walking around just as colorful as the children’s story. 
The bartender was quick and you were thankful, even though the drink he made was weaker than you preferred. Vodka burned as it hit the back of your throat, aided by the scoff that found you at the man chatting up your friend. 
Kate always had a thing for slightly pathetic men, like she could eat them alive. You were used to her routine by now, her colorful storytelling one of your favorite things to listen to over your morning coffee.
Honestly, you were both horrible together: you pitied the unsuspecting bystanders that listened in. Laughing at an old story she loved to tell at your expense, you didn’t see him at first. 
You wish you could go back to the moment he came crashing into your orbit, not noticing the person on your left until he made himself known. 
“Now what is a pretty bee like you lookin’ so bored all the way over here?” a gravelly voice spoke, the man’s lips tantalizingly close to the shell of your ear. 
Your eyes looked over before your brain could catch up, and what you saw certainly sidetracked whatever thoughts had possessed you before. Wearing a black leather jacket that swam in the neon light of the bar, he almost seemed to glow in a classic white shirt that tapered on his slim waist.
“I’m enjoying myself just fine thank you,” you retorted, taking a generous swig of your watered down drink to hide the rush of nervous energy that possessed you. You were used to beginning the chase, and it caught you off guard to be taken by surprise. 
How refreshing.
 A small grin flickered across his face at your answer. His dark hair and broad shoulders only made him more mysterious, the lolling drawl of his voice making you curious despite yourself. 
Men would approach you with the fashionable audacity they all liked to carry around with careless hands hoping for a quick fuck. Sometimes you’d indulge yourself, but the enjoyable heat of another person wasn’t worth it if they never shut their mouths. 
Your vibrator and weighted blanket made sure of that.
You were undecided if this man fit into that category though.
“That’s not what I see.”
“Hmm, what do you see then, if you know me so well?”
The man shifted his foot and leaned in closer, the subtle spice of his cologne clinging to his suede collar. The way he wore it was effortless, and you wanted to grab onto his jacket to either bring him closer or shove him back, depending on what he said next.
“I see a woman that’s bored out of her mind trying to convince herself she’s not, drinking alcohol not worth the proof on the bottle,” he explained, voice dipping lower as you turned to fully face him, finally meeting eyes that never strayed from you.”You want more than whatever junior over there could ever offer someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“Oh honey, I know I walked into that one with both feet. You’re just fishing for compliments now, aren’t ya?”
“Mmm, are you going to tell me what I wanna hear or are you going to buy me a drink?”
“The shit they mix here ain’t what you deserve, I saw that bartender mixing those drinks. Take a sip of this darlin’, and tell me I’m not wrong,” the man tempted, readily extending a sleek silver flask to you that was attached to his belt buckle. How scandalous .
The promise in his expression emboldened you. He had taken a drink from the flask himself before offering it to you in invitation.
“What’s life without a little risk?” His eyes seemed to ask.
You took the chance, the warmth from his hands lingering on your fingers as you took the flask from him.The delicate gold choker on your neck glinted in the light as you swallowed.
Taking a swig, you absorb the flavor. He knew his alcohol, and from the confidence of his statement nothing less than top shelf mattered. You could certainly respect that, wondering if his lips would have the same taste if he kissed you.
“You’re not wrong, it’s very good. I’ve always been partial to whiskey myself.”
“Just good? What you have in your hand is a rare share of Statesman Whiskey, made straight from the source in Kentucky,” he retorted, almost offended if not for the mischievous twinkle in his eye. Something you had said passed a test you weren’t yet aware of.“Even as a Yankee you must understand the quality of that. I knew you would.”
“You caught that, did you?” 
“I don’t miss a thing, and you have most certainly caught my undivided attention.” 
You shifted completely to turn your back on your friend and her man of the hour, uninterested in the conversation that no longer included you. 
This man was right about one thing: you had been bored, and hopefully he would measure up for the evening. He didn’t shrink at your gaze.
It was nice to be approached for once with an interest that could mirror your own. 
“I don’t know how you fit that ego of yours inside this place. This doesn’t exactly look like your scene if I’m being honest.”
He chuckles at that without taking offense and coyly tips the brim of his hat in your direction, smiling with a flash of tongue at your choked laugh that's just for him. 
“Let’s just say I’ve gotten a lot of practice over the years. Even more talking to gorgeous girls like you. A buddy of mine wanted me to check out this new place to meet up sometime for work .”
The queer way he said that wasn’t lost on you, but you figured it was just an inside joke of some kind. 
“You know that a honey bee can sting when it's threatened right?” 
The way he widened his stance in victory as you focused on him was intentional, the insufferable action the kind of cockiness you usually wanted to smother with your own if not for the way it oddly suited him. 
“Oh, that doesn’t deter me one bit. I’m sure your sting is just as sweet. I happen to like that.”
The grin peeking out from beneath his mustache looks genuine. You’re intrigued, looking at him now in consideration. As you checked him out from head to toe, one thing stood out rather prominently. 
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just really happy to see me right now?” 
New York might be a concealed carry state but he looked like one of the only men on the premises actually packing heat in all of the ways that matter. The well fitted dark blue denim hugging his thighs left very little to the imagination. 
He was tailored to torture you inch-by-fucking-inch.
“Why don’t you come dance with me for the next song and find out?”
Oh you definitely wanted to shut him up. Preferably with something else to keep that mouth of his busy. 
“No.”
“No? Give me one reason why not and I’ll leave you alone. You can take someone else home tonight and leave ol’ Jack behind.”
“So that’s your name then? Jack,” you reply. His eyes droop at the sound, half lidded and unhurried in the way he examines the way you say his name. 
You finally introduce yourself, like you hadn’t been bantering with the man for a while now. 
Like you hadn’t been imagining what he would look like after spending a night with you, scratch marks down his back a parting gift that'll make him think of you every time he moves.
“If you are so obliged, it’ll be the name you’ll be screaming later and that’s a promise,” he vowed, chewing on a mint he popped in with a cheeky wink thrown in your direction. On any other man that would be a turn-off, but you looked down and saw the way his hands clenched around nothing as you observed him. 
Jack was his own harbinger of surprises it seems. 
The second of silence that follows sears under your skin, charged and frantic for more friction. A quick reply caught on your tongue that you held in, keeping it for later: never let it be said that you didn't like flirting with delayed gratification every once in a while.
“How do you know that I don’t have someone already waiting in my bed for me?” You asked. Jack’s eyes were arresting, lingering lower on your chest for a few moments before looking into your own to answer you.
 He gave a satisfied hum when he found whatever he was searching for.
“I think the way you’re staring at me is all the answer I need.”
You’ll give him credit, he was saying all of the right things. Or at this point, you wanted them to be, your attraction only tipping in his favor.
“Now what is a Southern boy like you doing here? Not to be a cliche, but you’re a long way from home.”
“Oh, I’m just like anyone else. I work at the Statesman New York office, traveling a lot when I’m needed elsewhere. What do you do when you’re not talking to vagrants like me in strange bars?”
“I’m a romance novelist, dabbling in a lot of things really, you know how it is.”
“Hmm, now that sounds interesting. What words must form on that clever tongue of yours?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you flirted back. 
He began speaking again, the story he launched into exotic and altogether hard to believe, but it wasn’t the words that reeled you in. It was his large hands waving temptingly close that distracted you. You could care less about the time he almost died in Marrakesh after offending someone’s wife.
You’d commit the story to your memory later when the pleasant haze of him faded away.
His tale came to a close as you glanced down and laughed at the stereotype that for some reason didn’t surprise you.
“Can you even dance in those boots for anything other than a two step?”
“I can do a lot more than that.”
“With your shiny belt buckle and Stetson I’d almost think you’re compensating for something,” you teased. A flash of delight lit up his face at your observation, the smirk he sent your way something just north of sinful.
“Everything is bigger in the south darlin' and besides,” he trailed off, hands coming to slowly cage you in against the bar but not quite touching you. “Let’s be honest here, we both know you like what I’ve got underneath.”
You lean forward, a breath of air suspended between you as your mouth almost ghosts over his. Maneuvering out of Jack’s reach, you reach up and take the hat off his head.
You had no doubt he would have stopped you if he had actually wanted to, those large hands of his able to easily overpower and hold you down. 
You suppress a grin at the thought.
Putting the large hat on your head, you brushed out your unruly hair to make it stay firmly in place. His eyes unfocused for a moment before looking at you with renewed intensity, his jaw ticking to the side as he takes you all in. 
You loved the chase, but at that moment you were tempted to end the flirtation and leave the bar to see if those fingers would fill you up as well as they promised. 
“Come on, show me your moves," you dared, steeling yourself as you joined the growing crowd beginning to take over the dance floor. He convinced you. "Do your worst, Jack.”
A remix of one of your favorite songs set the pace as it moved through you. The bass was rich and dark in your veins as you danced, Wonderland falling away in the fury of bodies all around you. The charge that flitted low in your abdomen was one that threatened to crack you in two as Jack brought you back, your ass grinding into him after each beat.
It would be so easy to turn around and let yourself melt into the heat of him.
 But riling him up sounded like a lot more fun. So when the beat shifted so did you, one hand removing the hat from your head as the other reached behind you to bring him down to your level. 
“You know, there’s a saying I heard before that if you steal a cowboy’s hat you’re either fuckin’ or fighting, and darlin’ I don’t have any weapons on me right now. So what’ll it be?” He asked, his voice against your ear making you lean into his palms. 
You felt like smoke, weaving around him as you continued to dance.
“Mmmm, doesn’t a combination of both sound just as good?”
The reactive tightening of his fingers on your hips was just what you needed. The both of you were lost, the music loud enough to cover up how hard your heart was beating.
Jack runs his nose along your neck and jaw until he nips at the vein, the heat of his breath making your own decision for you.
Turning, you reach up and finally kiss him. It wasn’t a quick affair, the push and pull between you both a fight to see who would give in first. You wanted to memorize the feeling, imagining the burn of his facial hair on your thighs as you rode his face. 
You’d even wear his hat while you did it if he asked nicely. 
He tasted like mint and mussed hair dangled in front of his eyes, lightly brushing your forehead as you mingled together. 
You were both insulated in the crowd, kissing each other until you were hardly even dancing anymore. 
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Ready to leave the liquor and low lighting behind, you stopped Jack in his tracks. Backing him into the wall of the hallway you ventured into, you did so firmly, hands holding him hostage as you clung to the lapels of his leather jacket. 
The hunger he saw reflected in your eyes pinned him in place, and that alone made him want to ruin you. 
Leaning up in your high heeled boots so that you could kiss his cheek, the remaining lipstick you wore smeared onto his skin like a brand, the red lip print left near his opened mouth telling him that you were dangerous.
Better yet, his favorite kind.
“Follow me cowboy,” you rasped, leaving goosebumps in your wake as you lightly skimmed over his skin with your teeth. The fever consuming from now was one he hadn’t felt bubbling in his blood ever since his last mission months ago.
 He craved it.
Jack vaguely connected that you were an unstoppable force to his immovable object, ready to crash into him like the paradox you were presenting yourself to be. 
When he had clocked you from across the bar earlier he had admitted to himself that you weren’t the usual type of woman he jumped to charm into his bed. You had looked wholly unimpressed with your surroundings before, swirling the ice in your drink as the yuppie next to you preened like a toddler with a captive audience. 
The oncoming storm he’d read in the lines of your body told him another story, however, one that swept him into you and past the redhead that had been trying to catch his attention since he’d walked in. 
The shadow of something wicked had made Jack eager to align your passions with his own.
Impatient at his composure as he thought of this, you hooked two fingers into his belt loops and tugged him off the wall and into you, that jolt he felt from before electrifying below his skin as you pressed against him. 
Reaching down and lightly cupping one of your hands over the denim of his jeans, you felt him squirm the longer you dared. 
 His dark brows furrowed at your forwardness, wanting to taste you again.
Your hands were firm on him, brokering no argument for the sly agent to persuade you with. He admired your drive, easily taking the momentum from him and twisting it to your desires. You kept surprising him, and by the way you delved into his mouth you weren’t afraid of showing him this side of you.
You wanted him to say something, anything, so this time you squeezed with intent, the hiss in your ear headier than the alcohol on his breath.
His cock twitched under your hand, and god it was power . 
You enjoyed him like this: slightly wild but contained, a groan threatening to break through clenched teeth as you felt him up in public so casually. 
You kiss him possessively in that dark room, drinking him up and daring him to consume you in turn like he promised. He might have approached you first, but you were going to finish what you both started.
It was desperate and messy and loud but neither of you cared.
A couple walked close to the both of you, forcing you to break from him in the narrow hallway to let them pass. Your absence made Jack swiftly reconnect himself with your body, his large hand sliding down into the pocket of your jeans to roughly squeeze your ass that had been grinding on him only moments before. 
Leaving his hand where it was, he used it to direct you outside into the street. The nighttime air filled your lungs with relief, cooling the sweat that dampened your neck.
“You're positive you don’t wanna go back to my place? I can assure you the view from my floor is nothing to scoff at.”
“While that might ordinarily be tempting, Jack, your apartment doesn’t have any of the toys that I like to use,” you retorted. 
You could already imagine flashes of the night ahead of you at your apartment. 
“A pity then, I just know that you pressed against my floor to ceiling windows when the sun rises would be a pretty sight indeed.”
“Let’s enjoy tonight and plan on that for next time.”
Shame was not an emotion that Jack entertained often and he wasn’t about to start now, leaving your lipstick where it sat proudly on his face. A few people stared at him in the street, but no one stopped your brisk pace. 
At the last crosswalk he pinched your ass in retaliation when you turned to kiss him harshly, nipping his chin as you leaned back onto your heels. As if you were dry kindling struck by lightning, his hands trailed flames in their wake, each touch only hastening your steps forward.  
Exposed brick, industrial lighting, and high ceilings were what attracted you to your building when you first moved to the area. Your small loft on the upper floor gave you the privacy you craved, the cityscape around you comforting in the way it always kept moving. 
While waiting for the elevator Jack untangled himself from you to lean against the wall on your right. He stood there appreciating you as a few of your neighbors walked around the lobby, Jack tipping his hat to them as they passed.
You didn’t even realize you’d dropped it at some point to kiss him earlier.
“Prettier than a peach,” he murmured, his hand reaching to smooth over his mustache in thought. He was earnest, the mood shifting into something unnamed as the elevator dinged. You huddled into him as people came and went.
"You know," you began, "I'd look even prettier with your hands wrapped around my throat."
 He coughed into his hand, not wanting everyone else in the lobby to see how tight his jeans suddenly felt. You laughed.
You both stumble into your apartment, the size of Jack overwhelming as he backs you into the closed door. His mouth was persuasive, like a switch was flipped now that you were both away from everyone else. 
He left bruising kisses on your neck, completely unyielding in his quest to mark you wherever he could reach. His hands were on the back of your head, holding you in place as he gripped your neck just so. 
For a long suspended moment you were frozen, wanting to regain the ground you refused to lose. But hell, could this man kiss the thoughts from your head. 
Then, all at once, heat spreads through you, thawing you into action. 
Holding onto his jacket with your fingers you tilt your head back with a breathless chuckle, making Jack look into your eyes. You take up one hand and grip his chin, the other drifting to caress the lipstick mark you shamelessly left on his cheek. Pressing down on it with more pressure to show you meant your next words, you wanted him to listen. 
He smirked into your touch, a cocky sort of grin showcasing his dimple that felt entirely warranted as your breath stuttered in your chest. 
“Go sit on the couch,” you ordered. Kissing you once more before moving away, a filthy moan left you as his tongue darted out for a taste. His eyes didn’t look away until you turned your back, shedding clothes in your wake until all you had left on was the lace you were wearing.
“Would you like a drink?”
“Sure thing baby, pour me a bit of whatever you’re having.”
You didn’t leave him for long, reappearing with strong liquor and the type of lingerie that made you feel like you could eat a man’s heart in the marketplace like Beatrice once said.
The warmth from the drink you’d sipped in the kitchen enveloped you as it licked up your chest— you were in your element now.
Grounded in your body, you took a deep breath. 
Emerald lace and satin embrace you, assured in the sway of your hips as you walked over to your cowboy. Handing him his drink and swiftly straddling his parted thighs, you let him take you in.
 You don’t know when he became “your cowboy,” but it sounded right, for the night at least.
Say what you will, but Jack was flexible with a change in plan. He just had to bide his time, finishing the finger of bourbon left in his glass before setting it aside.
The way you spilled out of your lingerie had him drowning in you. Champ once told him that he was an adrenaline addict, chasing every mission that got his heart racing. He wasn’t wrong—you couldn’t function as a successful Statesman agent without a dash of daredevil in you.
And he just loved the way you moved.
His mouth descends on you again, leaving you once to gulp in a desperate breath before attacking with renewed vigor. 
He hoarsely spoke your name, and it was the best thing that had left his lips all night. You wanted him to say it again but this time underneath you, unbidden and desperate at the way you pulled it out of him. You slid your tongue into his mouth and brought up a hand to roughly yank at the hair on the sides of his head, until he bowed his back and leaned into you for a moment.
“Is this what you want?” You asked, snaking your hand underneath the cup of your brassiere to shove it aside and caress your breast, a groan breaking through your composure at the way Jack bucked into you. Though his breathing was measured and even, his lips parted at the sight of your nipples pebbling in the cool air. 
“You know, when I saw you at the bar I knew I had to talk to you, take you with me when I left,” he murmured, quiet in his admission as it rang true on his face. 
“Mmmm, honey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but...you’re in my apartment at the moment, on my couch no less, drinking my bourbon,” you answer just as quietly into his ear. You graze over it teasingly with your teeth just to see him shiver. “And I’m wearing a matching set right now. So who really took initiative tonight, hm?”
Jack laughed almost in disbelief at your words, his body responding for him. It’s an honest sound, one that makes you kiss him deep enough to taste his tongue in the back of your throat.
Ultimately what you saw in his eyes was patience. And that was hotter than anything else he could have done. 
 You sigh his name, letting your head fall forward as he seeks out another kiss from you. 
“This is just the preview. I want it all, and I know you do too,” he breathed against your lips. “Now are you going to let me touch you, or do I have to watch you fuck yourself on my thigh before I can taste you? You can only tempt a man so far.”
“Is that a threat or a challenge I hear?”
“I did promise that you’d be screaming my name, and I take that job very seriously. You'll hear no arguments from me.”
“You sure you can handle me like that, cowboy?”
Jack was wavering somewhere between wholly aroused and perversely indignant. No one questioned him like this, in the bedroom or otherwise if he could help it.
 He hated how it turned him on like this. 
You’re not sure what emboldens you to tease him; your resolve only heightens the longer he looks at you, as if you could spill over into him and it still wouldn’t be enough. 
“I have never been more sure than I am right now.”
He knew how to fire you up. In many ways, you were both quite similar.
Restless and insatiable. 
Purposefully running your hands down his chest only to stop your exploration at his belt, the rumble in his chest was one of approval as you scratched at his abdomen through his shirt. 
You enjoyed yourself when pleasure could mix with a bit of pain, and you had an inkling that Jack did too. You wanted to deny him, reduce this enigma of a man into a begging mess before the sun came up. But your own need to be touched by him won out, and damn him for kissing you like that—as if you were the antidote to a fatal poison he had drunk in an effort to forget you. 
“You can touch me, Jack, but there’s something I want to do first.”
You meet his gaze for a brief moment as you pause in this position on top of him, being perfectly still when all you wanted was to hold him close until there was no space for questions or distractions.
An understanding passes between you both. Your body buzzes with nerves, synapses firing as all thoughts focus on the man holding you.
He grabs at your hips, whispering encouragement in your ear as he guides you to settle flush against his lap with your legs on either side of him. The zipper of his jeans and his belt buckle rubbed into your clit hard enough to make you shiver.
“ Fuck… ”  
Jack  scrapes his teeth over your jaw. Barely there. More of a breath across your cheek than anything. 
You reach back and unlatch your bra, throwing it away as he cups each breast in his calloused hands. Arching into his attentive mouth as it reached your skin, you threaded your fingers in his hair, messing up the hat flattened strands and tugging on them harder when he bit down teasingly. 
Letting your nipple go with a wet plop, he leaned back into your hands on his head.
“God, I am so fucking hard thinking about licking into that pretty pussy of yours, bet you taste real good,” Jack groaned. You answered in kind, kissing him again to swallow his words.
This was just the warm-up.
“I’m going to cum just like this against you, but if you move any more then I won’t be quite so kind later. Wanna make you earn it. I’m a generous lover, Jack, but a fair one,” you simpered, grinding almost cruelly against the hardness of him that you could feel throbbing through his pants. “You want me to be nice, don’t you?”
“Oh darlin’, I’m sure you’re sweeter than a saint,” he grunted, words stuttering as you brought his head up closer to yours, lips touching but not quite. Rotating your hips, you sigh into his mouth as you move against him. 
True to his restraint so far, he kept himself in place, his breath hot against your cheeks as your pace quickened. 
“Mmmm, can’t wait to have you inside me,” you sighed, his muscles straining beneath your fingers. Shuddering at the feeling of him under you, your first orgasm was creeping closer as it began trickling down from the tips of your fingertips. “D-don’t want you to cum until I’m done with you.”
Jack’s mouth opened partly in awe as you grinded on him with even more force. 
He had a hidden strength to him, and by the way his arms flexed around you he could have easily moved you under him at any time. The fact that he didn't demand it was arousing.
Fuck you were wet.
Tilting his head slightly, he enjoys the view of you on his lap using him for your own pleasure. Your tits bounce as you move, and he’s torn between telling you how perfect they are and moving just slightly to bury his face in your softness. He whimpered silently as you pulsed around him, able to feel it over his clothes as you threatened to unravel.
“Oh, look at you,” he exclaimed, voice a low rumble that stokes the fire in your belly. “Just like that, baby. Fuck, come on. Take what you need from me.”
He says your name once, fervent and taut, barely able to keep himself in check. The fact that he was still almost fully clothed made him need more . You were all warm skin and curves and he wanted to feel every second of you wrapped around him.
He tensed his thigh and shifted slightly but you didn’t notice as you rode out the waves of pleasure rolling over your clit.
It was exquisite and hurried and not the end goal but you didn’t mind. You had wanted to see if he would listen to you. If he could take what direction you gave him. It was an entirely different high you’d surprisingly discovered in your twenties, having a man in your control, making him beg with just your body. 
And yet, Jack did not beg for himself. The look in his eyes was expressive enough. Still he didn’t move, and that was what finally pushed you over. 
Gasping in shock, your orgasm softly washed over your skin. He eagerly watched, memorizing the way your mouth hung open at the feeling of him grabbing your hips with bruising force to drag you over him once again.
When you finally opened your eyes Jack was already looking at you, and you did not shy away. His hair was tousled from your hands, lips swollen, eyes bright—you savored him like the Kentucky whiskey on his breath. 
“Mmmm, you were so good for me,” you praised, voice heavy in your mouth as you recalled how to speak.
As you came back down he chased your lips, taking his time to touch you the way he could now that you’d fallen into his chest. His mouth was a wanting, wretched thing, tracing a path from your lips to your chest. 
You pulled back for a moment. “Do you want to switch to the–”
“I’m not done yet,” he interrupted, bringing you back into a heated kiss that had you whining into his hold on you. He slips his tongue in your mouth and seems to slow time licking into you just so, making you shiver. 
His hands were frenzied in the way they glided over all the flesh he could reach. 
You would torture him no longer.
His blunt nails traced over your spine, and you wanted to ask him to do that again. 
“Now you are a rare gift, my dear,” he hummed into your mouth. “I would hate for you to be tired already.”
“Oh, you don’t have to question my stamina,” you slyly answered. Even now you are still hazy in your bones, tethering yourself to his firm grip on your ass. “Worry about your own.”
The chuckle that leaves him is telling, and you clearly feel his frustration rolling off him now that you can think in complete sentences.
You kiss the corner of his mouth and swiftly hop off of his lap, trembling for a moment as you right yourself. There’s a slight damp spot from where you were sitting on his white shirt that had been hanging over half untucked from his jeans, but you’re too drunk on endorphins to feel embarrassed. 
You did that .
Your heart stuttered for a moment at the raw ache you saw in his face. Hooking your fingers in the slim waistband of your panties, you then cast them aside. 
It felt like an afterthought after what you had both just done, but the way Jack looked at you was anything but unappreciative. 
What you inspire in him is so erotically charged that he is momentarily struck dumb by what you do next.
Falling onto your knees you look up at him through your lashes, taking the flask attached to his belt buckle, the surface slightly wet from your release making it slick in your hands. It was silent in the apartment, the only sound Jack’s breathing as he watched you drink from the flask that he favored so much. 
You could taste yourself around the metal and lipstick and whiskey. A theme of the night it seemed.
Awareness flows down your spine at Jack’s gaze. As you take one more pull, his hands reach up to card through your hair, holding it in a makeshift ponytail, reaching for you with a finality that has you arching into him.  
You lead him into your room, wishing you had cleaned up a bit before tripping on the rug, laughing as you both stumble into your metal bed frame. 
“Now Jack,” you begin, bracing yourself for the next conversation you rarely walked into without some gut feeling bracing you up. “Do you have a safe word?”
He didn’t answer immediately, but when he did he was entirely focused on you. 
“I do, pretty girl. It’s sweet tea.”
The way his mouth caressed each syllable with that slow southern drawl shouldn’t have been as damning as it was.
“How do you feel about ropes?”
The way he lit up was thrilling. He looked away with unfocused eyes, enjoying a private joke that only he knew. It was the expression of a man that delighted in his own mystery. 
You couldn’t deny that a part of you was burning to know what he locked away. He prowled with that hidden energy, and knowing what you’d experienced of him so far, you would have to work for a proper taste.
“I happen to be quite gifted with whips and a lasso if I do say so myself. I’m rather versatile in that regard. Rest assured it is not my first rodeo.” 
“In that case cowboy, I want you...to tie me up,” you said before grazing your thumb across his bottom lip. He nodded slightly surprised, with the way you had directed him earlier he had thought you’d wanted to tie him up instead.
 It wasn’t like he couldn’t escape from some ropes if he really needed to.
He had been amazing under you before, but you wanted more. You wanted him to take your body and make your need dissolve on your tongue as you cry. You wanted it to hurt.
Jack felt like you could read his mind, look into the very heart of him and learn all of his desires. Palming himself over his jeans, he imagined the warmth of your mouth and had to stop from outpacing himself.
You walked into your closet with purpose, toeing on your favorite pair of stiletto heels as you grabbed your selection of ropes from where they’re hidden.
His eyebrow ticks up at the sight of you naked with only your Louboutins on, the black ropes in your hands are just as daring. He waits for you to settle onto the pillows of your bed before methodically tying your hands to hooks in the wall on either side of your headboard.
 It took him a few moments but his knots were sound, loose enough but tight on your wrists so you couldn’t break free. You were grudgingly impressed with how fast Jack could work when he was motivated, filing it away where you could exploit later.
He throbs at the salacious painting you rendered, spread out and glowing in the warm lighting of the room. With your opened legs you were vulnerable and slick and soft. 
Jack didn’t want to wait any longer before losing himself in you.
He shifted down to lay himself between your parted legs. You swiftly stopped him with your left leg extended fully out, the stiletto of your heel digging into his lowered shoulder as he kneeled on the bed. The startled look on his face made you tease him, grinding it in a little further before moving it down his chest to stop at the length of his cock straining for freedom. 
Pressing down.
The choked groan that he involuntarily let out was painfully erotic. You wish you could record it and hit rewind.
“Hold your horses, Jack. You have far too many clothes on. Strip for me first before you get what you want.”
To his credit he didn’t jump up and frantically discard the remainder of his clothing. Like you before his expression turned calculating, methodically shifting off the bed and taking off his shirt and discarding his pants along with his underwear. All are then folded on your nightstand, neat and pricise to minimize wrinkles.  
You swallow at the way he ignores your anticipation, but it brings no relief. 
His skin is tan like the rest of him, belly soft and strong before a small trail of dark hair leads down to the base of his cock sitting heavy against his stomach. 
You imagine tracing your tongue over every inch of him seeing where he’d fracture and break in your hold, only to put him back together again when he asked.
He was incredibly distracting like that when he wanted to be.
Captivated, your eyes stop back at his chest, small faded scars criss-crossing his skin, one worryingly close to his heart that had you straining for a closer look. His muscles ripple as he moves, the veins of his arms as formidable as the rest of him. 
Jack was focused as he finally settled low on the bed, fingers ghosting over skin as he hitched your legs over his shoulders. Kissing and nipping at the inside of your thigh, he took in a deep breath and let out a little hum, puffs of air hitting your pussy as he adjusted.
He leaned his head on your left thigh and looked up at you briefly.
“You remember the safe word, sweetheart?” He asked. You nodded, almost drunk at the heat of him crowding you. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Yes Jack, I remember it’s sweet tea. Now are you going to eat my pussy like you mean it or do I need to get myself off again?” You answered, tapping your leg down on his back knowing fully well how it would rile him up.
He grins at you savagely, leaning down the remaining space to lick a long stripe all the way up your folds. 
You buck into his mouth, your already sensitive clit coming alive again. He moves his arms to cage your hips in his hold, bringing you flush to his tongue by grabbing onto your ass. 
He was nestled between your legs, mapping your body with licks and handprints. Your half-formed praises and keening whine made Jack a mess of a man, grinding into the mattress as he drank up everything you could give him.
He loved your voice and the way it scattered into nothing when he sucked your clit into his mouth. He made no pretense at staying quiet, noisy and whole in his destruction of you.
Coming up for air, his mustache glistened, cheeks red from his own harsh breathing against your cunt. His lips were wet and you wanted to taste yourself when he kissed you. He reaches down for a moment and pumps himself harshly, tightly fisted and the sound he lets out...you feel it like a pulse.
His nose brushes you as he dives back in. If he could sink underneath your skin you would burst. 
He slides two fingers inside, your muscles clenching around him as far as he could go. Curling his fingers upward and holding them there, a hot fusion of unnamed pleasure and painful awareness zips through you. You can't help but squirm underneath him.
There it was.
Jack wanted you to call his name until he no longer connected it with himself, an uncontained force that compelled him to do whatever you wanted if only you'd say his name like that again. 
Wanting. 
“Fuck, when you say my name like that I just burn all over,” he murmured. “You gonna cum now, baby?”
You hum distractedly, the coiled tether in your abdomen snapping when he doubles down just right. He eagerly laps at you as your pussy flutters, climbing higher and higher until plunging you into nameless bliss. Each limb feels liquid as you touch down.
Jack keeps sucking and licking you without stopping and you can’t cover your mouth to muffle the whimpers that slip through. He adds a third finger and continues to move through each aftershock that bounces through your body.
“Come on. Lord—when you sound like that I don’t want you to stop. You’re not done yet, I know you can give me another one. Look at the way you take me in.”
You wanted to dodge his mouth as he sucked on you again, even the gentle way he prodded at you felt like too much. You weren’t going to beg yet, even for a man like Jack. Despite your discomfort you felt yourself stir again, weaker but no less corporeal, as he pressed down hard on your clit with a pressure that made your breathing pick up.
With effort you rocked into him once more and strained to lock your legs around his head, squeezing when he nipped at you. A handful of minutes later you were boneless and spent, legs trembling as he drew your pleasure out.
 He moaned at the feeling of being utterly surrounded, desperately sending you over again so that he could breathe. 
You couldn't think past the wall of sensation you were being held against without mercy.
This orgasm was harder than the last, a juggernaut that only built on the first. A few silent tears trailed down your face, so overcome that his facial hair burned similar to the hand shaped bruise already forming on your hip. 
You close your eyes so tightly that sunbursts bloom behind your eyes as you breathe through it.
Standing up to catch his breath, he used some of the slick on his fingers to slowly cover his shaft, aching from being hard for so long already. From the sheer size and weight of him that you can see, you’re glad for the bottle of lube on your bedside table, though you’re so wet it probably didn’t matter.
Jack settles himself over you, tugging you up into a fierce, messy kiss, teeth and tongues and harsh breaths traveling from his mouth into yours. 
You were so relaxed that the stretch of him affected you only for a moment as he buried himself inside you. The gasp when he moves catches in your throat, a ghost of all the pleasure he had given you just moments before leaving your body.  
 His voice stutters as he slowly thrusts inside of you, setting a steady pace. “Should keep you right here just like this, make you cum until you forget your own name. Would you like that? Take care of you like no one else will?”
You swear, picturing his words as they traced themselves down your body. As heavy as the feeling of Jack resting his weight on you was, you thrived on it. Your arms felt strained from being tied, but he curled around you just so, keeping you both connected for as long as possible.
Jack’s arms flexed as he adjusted to reach for you, extending his fingers until they pressed into your parted lips.
Swirling your tongue around his two fingers, you could taste yourself on his skin. He then leaned down and used them to press into your clit. It had you closing your eyes, too overwhelmed to speak through it. 
You didn't have any smart comebacks in you now.
His unrelenting tempo jostled the bed against the wall. Moving back to lean on his heels, Jack pistoning into you at this new angle was overwhelming but you simply didn’t care. He yelled out in a voice you almost didn't recognize, hoarse and wet as it ripped from his chest.
“Come on Jack, cum in me,” you panted. “ Fuck , I know you’re close. Can feel you aching for it. You’ve been so patient. So good . ”
You intentionally clench around him like a vice, and it has him tumbling into his own release moments later with a startled shout.
Satisfaction seizes his veins in a chokehold.
He collapses into your chest, the both of you covered in a slight sheen of sweat that was beginning to dry in the cool air.
Whimpering slightly as he pulled out, he worked through his own lethargy to take care of you.
He leaned up and undid the knots holding you hostage. Immediately your arms flop onto the mattress, the burn of your muscles just adding to the mental catalog of sensations you take stock of. With Jack resting on your chest you card your fingers through his hair, the both of you too out of breath to say anything for a few moments. 
The weight of him on top of you kept you grounded.
Warm. Languid. Eyes drifting closed at how heavy you feel. 
“You are gonna be the death of me, woman.” 
“Mhmmm, if that’s the case then I’ll wait to tell you my proposal then. Wouldn’t wanna kill you before another round, Whiskey.”
He lifts his head from your chest at that.
“What did you just call me?” He asked, eyes unreadable as they scan your face. You didn’t care, the words light in your mouth as they leave you.
“Whiskey. You taste like it. And if you think this is the only time I take you to bed, then let me inform you: I still need to drink my fill of you.”
He scratched at his mustache for a moment in thought before he smiles, the most genuine of the night that makes his eyes crinkle with laughter. There it was again, that secret in his expression that has you eager to ask what he’s hiding.
“You’re a very perceptive person, honey. I am thoroughly surprised by you. Tell me what you have in mind when I come back.”
He jumps out of bed to walk into your en suite bathroom, his ass distracting as you watch him fumble around before returning with a warm washcloth to clean you up.  Each brush of his hands on your body is gentle, reverent even as it glides over you. He kisses where your hands had been bound, asking if he was too rough.
You almost laughed. 
You liked it that way. 
Something inside you wanted to stay in the moment, gazing at each other in the dimly lit room. Not forever, just a little longer. You imagine him walking away from you out the door, and it puts an unpleasant feeling in your gut, like you wouldn’t see him again.
You had the sneaking suspicion that if Jack didn’t want to be found he’d disappear.
“So I was thinking,” you began, finally tossing your stilettos off the bed to lay under your quilt. “I have an ungodly expensive espresso machine that makes a decent latte and fresh beans in the kitchen. How about we take a quick nap and then fire it up before round two? I heard once that drinking coffee makes the sex even better.”
“Don’t you mean rounds three and four?” He teased, that ego of his purring at the thought of how much you spasmed and shook around him.
If you weren’t so relaxed you would have probably grabbed onto his balls in response, made him swear around that crooked smile of his.
You'd learn how he liked it and edge him until he melted out of his damn cowboy boots. The thrill of him was delicious, and you hadn't gotten to take a true bite out of him yet.  
“You think you can go another round later and finally ride this prize stallion?” 
That makes you slap at his shoulder. His laugh diffused whatever seriousness lingered and you readily agreed, the both of you winding down as exhaustion hits.
 As his arms settle around you, you imagine the potential of a future with this man of mystery.
 He had barely scratched the surface of what made you wild, and you wanted to change that. Leaving Wonderland with him tonight was an event you were eager to repeat. 
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wri0thesley · 2 years
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Underrated praise kink things: imagining what the genshin men would call you as they fuck your brains out. Zhongli calling you “such a good girl for me” as he folds you into a mating press, Diluc mumbling how you “feel so damn good” into your neck, Childe mumbling curses between pants of your name while he has you bent over a desk in the Northland Bank… 😌
ooh, one of my absolute favourite things to think about is the pet names that characters would call you and how they would speak to you, guide you, praise you during sex . . . so, if you'll allow me to also briefly brainrot a moment;
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not sfw, minors dni. featuring: zhongli, diluc, childe, albedo, kaeya, itto, ayato, thoma.
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zhongli's voice is always low and quiet and commanding and cajoling; he's somehow able to keep hold of all of his poise even balls-deep inside of you, folding you in half, supporting you with rock-solid strength. never let it be said that he does not give praise where it's deserved; from him, you do indeed hear 'ah, you're being so good for me' and 'that's good, see how well you're taking me'. for zhongli - a god of contracts in a nation that values hard work, aware some people would think it an honour to have even caught his eye - it's important to him that you know that you are doing well, that sex is a two-way street and you are more than shouldering your half of it. pet names from him are elegant and perhaps a touch condescending; darling, my heart, my dear.
diluc is shyer than he gets credit for; he does not spend much time among other people nowadays, and though he was once chatty and ebullient, time and events have eroded that somewhat. so he's a little out of sorts when he does finally get to bury himself inside of you. he's burning hot when he presses desperate kisses over your throat and tells you how good you feel, how he wishes he could stay inside of you forever, how you are perfect and made to take him. he's . . . surprisingly possessive. there are few things in this world that he can rely on, and though he often fights for monstadt as a whole there is something to be said about having someone - you - who is wholly his and he can call home. pet names from him are polite, sweet, earnest; darling, too. my love. beloved.
childe . . . believes in earning praise, and you certainly earn them when you snap your hips back against his and moan out his name and tell him that you're his without needing prompting. so when you do win a stifled 'fuck' against your bare shoulderblade (almost always followed by a bite, as if he cannot really let you win), it is something to be treasured. his way of praising you is urging you to go even harder; telling you to kiss him hungrier, to move your hips faster - with the reassurance that 'i know you can do it. you're such a fast learner'. pet names from him are lightly teasing but said with such intensity that it makes you feel breathless; sweetheart, baby, princess (if that fits you, of course), honey said in a softly mocking smirking tone.
albedo also does not give praise lightly. but if you mention it to him one night, perhaps a little shyly, realisation will spark in his eyes and from then on in he will remember and make a conscious effort to make certain you know how much you are appreciated. his adoration is sometimes a little stilted and awkward; 'that feels very good', 'ahh, that's . . . a curious sensation'. but he is earnest. he is trying his best - and honestly? there is something to be said for the purity of his praise, the wonderment in his eyes when he murmurs ' . . . i was worried it wouldn't fit, but look at you--'. he is more likely to use your name said in such an intimate murmur that it makes your face hot than a pet name, but sometimes 'beautiful' and 'treasure' and 'precious' slip out unbidden.
kaeya is another of those smirking, teasing praisers - it's not that he doesn't think that you deserve the praise, but he just finds it very cute watching you work for it. he likes you laid out before him so he can pick all of the things he adores about you apart; your body splayed beneath his whilst cool hands slide over your waist, praising the softness of your skin. telling you how good a job you're doing when he slips his thumb between your lips and tells you to suck on it whilst he fucks you. the smirk on his lips makes you both feel like you want to slap it off of him, and like you want him to kiss you until you cannot breathe. pet names from him; sweet thing, dear, angel. there's a laugh in his tone when he says it, but you can't bring yourself to care when he kisses you and fucks you the way he does.
itto is not at all stingy with praise; he adores you in every way, and he lets everyone else know it when you're in public. that bright energy does not fade when you are private and intimate, though the praise is often more broken up with pants and moans and whimpers; 'shit. you feel so good. you're incredible. i could stay inside you forever'. he's practically whining out his adoration, pumping sloppily into you, losing himself entirely in the bliss of having you bouncing on his cock. he likes big, showy pet names and is the most likely culprit for calling you something embarrassing; babe! honey! sweetie pie! light of my life!
ayato praises you with an edge; as if he has expected this all along, and always knew you would be good at it. condescension drips off of him in waves, and it's more than perceptible - but when he has two long fingers inside of you and is coaxing out yet another dripping orgasm with the crook of his fingers, you can't bring yourself to care about how self-satisfied he sounds as he murmurs 'you're getting so tight around me. are you going to be good for me? are you going to come? oh, darling . . . there we are.' the condescension does not fade a whit in his pet names, either; as he smirkingly calls you my darling and songbird and dove.
thoma's praise is generous and doting. he adores you, and he's warm enough that he wants you to know how adoring he is - he's patient with you, kind, gently easing you through the stretch of his cock, praising you when you come for him with kisses and strokes and adoration, pausing with his mouth still buried between your thighs to tell you just how delicious you taste. thoma adores being able to take care of you. pet names for him are often food-related, coincidentally; honey and sugar and sweet flower all often come from his lips as he somehow ekes yet another orgasm out of you when you didn't think you could bear a single jolt more pleasure.
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Hello, I wanted to send a request for your autumn writing event. I would like to request a Nikolai Lantsov imagine based on the song prompt 'how you get the girl'. The reader is female gender and the pronouns are she/her. Also if it's okay can the reader be a squaller 👉👈
Thank you😊
Win you over- Nikolai Lantsov x reader
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A/N- I am SO sorry for writing this centuries later😭😭Lets just ignore how I'm doing a request for my AUTUMN writing event even tho its winter now. But I really hope u like it I worked really hard on this
Warnings- none
Summary- After Nikolai realizes he has attained feelings for a certain lady, he goes overboard to win her over
Nikolai had met all kinds of people throughout his life. Some despised him, others desired him, some wished to gain something from him, but all the time he could always figure out their intentions. However there was one about whom Nikolai couldn't figure out much of. You. 
It seemed as more as he got to know you, the more mysterious you'd seemed. 
But somehow, the more he got to know you, the more he grew closer to you. Until he finally realized he couldn't restrain his mind from wandering to you at all times, until you'd plagued all his thoughts, until he realized he'd fallen in love with you. 
And him being stubborn as always, decided to do anything to win over the girl who'd always appeared as a mystery to him. 
                 …..............................................................................
You, on the other hand, had quite similar feelings but an utterly different way of thinking. You'd began to grow closer to the sunshine boy when the threat of the Darkling had been looming over. You seemed to have grow fond of even the slightest sight of the boy. 
However, he had someone else on his mind. He'd been to indulged to win over the Sun Summoner's  heart to even glance your way. 
So you'd given up long ago. Lost any hope that he'd ever be willing to think of you the same way as he had for the girl, even long after she'd left. So you'd shut your heart and you focused on the life in front of you, you focused on your duties as the head of the Ravkan council. 
All until Nikolai had decided to go to any heights to win you over. 
             ................................................................…..........................
You'd been sitting in one of the quarters near the little palace that had been sitting idle for quite some time. You'd drop by sometimes whenever you wished to get your paperwork done with no one there to bother you, and today, there seemed to be a lot of it. 
It'd been raining intensely when u heard a sound resembling a knock.
You turned towards the door for a moment wondering if someone's outside, then went back to your work thinking no one would bother to come here at such a harsh weather even if they did know where you were. 
Then you heard it again, rapid knocks on the door. 
You got out of your chair and went to the door in a haste, wondering who was outside. 
Your eyes widened at the sight of the person in front of you. Drenched thoroughly from top to bottom, breathing intensively, stood the king of Ravka, Nikolai Lantsov. 
                                                        …....................................................................................................
The plan had been perfect, or so Nikolai had thought. He was to wait for the rain to begin and you to be away from the peering eyes of everyone when he would make his move. He intended to grab the kind of gift you'd love the most, Books.  Or more so, the one you'd been looking for since as long as he could remember. 
So he had set out, the package secured in his arms, the clear motive etched in his brain. But it was when he'd went halfway when he realized how intense the rain had been and had resulted in spoiling the gift and get himself all drenched. And by the time he was at the doorstep , he'd been shivering and had possibly attained a cold. 
“Nikolai!?” Your eyes widened at the sight of him. “What are you doing here in this rain!? “ your tone being equally surprised as your expression. 
Though being badly soaked from head to toe, the boy attempted to keep his composure, “I, came here to see you” he spoke with a nervous grin
His words really confirmed your suspicions of him being an idiot. You looked at him in awe before speaking in a rather stunned voice, “Are you insane!?” you said
“Well, only for you” the mad boy grinned. 
You opened your mouth to speak but closed it. Then suddenly grabbed his arm and rushed him inside, completely ignoring his statement. 
“Sit down” you ordered him as you rushed inside a room in the quarter.
You returned a few moments later with a clean towel to find that he had obliged you. 
“Here, there's a spare room you can use” you spoke, handing him the towel and gestured him to your left. 
“Really? I thought you'd like it better if I just did it over here” he gave a sly grin but quickly changed his expression when resulted in attaining a glare from you. 
After a while, he came out looking less miserable than he'd been and sat down next to you. 
“So why exactly did the king himself run all the way from the grand palace to here?” you asked
Tell her the truth, tell her the truth, tell her the truth, his mind screamed at him. But he just froze, as if he'd lost the ability to speak. 
“Uhhh- well- I needed some important documents from the little palace but it started raining so I thought to just come here” he managed
“Huh? So because it was raining, you chose to cross the whole palace and instead come here?“ you raised an eyebrow. 
Shit. He had been too occupied to practice what to say to you at the doorstep to even think of an excuse. 
“Yeah. Well it- I don't think it even matters anymore” he chuckled nervously
“Yeah” you slowly nodded in acknowledgement
“Anyways, how have you been? I barely see you anymore?” he changed the subject
“Nikolai, you saw me… yesterday “ you responded in confusion
“Yeah, yeah right” he chuckles nervously. “You know how weird time can be”.
You looked at him for a few moments before speaking again “Well um, I should get back  to my work or councilman Henrik is going to be up my nerves again” you sighed. 
“Yeah- yeah sure” he responded. 
He sighed as he looked at the rain through the window, pondering upon how miserably he'd failed today. But he wouldn't stop until he'd reached his goal. He Wasn't A Quitter After All, he thought, grinning to himself
                  …....................................................................................
These foolish little attempts won’t work if I really want to tell her how I feel, Nikolai thought to himself. If he wished to let out his feelings infront of you, if he really wished to tell you the truth,
he had to up his game.
You’d been out of the palace as you and David needed to test some of the weapons you’d been working on. So you’d chosen a cabin away from the population to be the most suitable place as there won't be dangers of anyone getting hurt here. 
Apparently someone else had the idea of moving his expedition to this place.
You had set up one of the you’ve made in the field to test whether it functioned properly. “Well, if it really works it should cover about 6,000 kilometres in about in, ten minutes” David spoke
“Let’s hope it does” you responded as you readied it to launch.
Just as you launched it into the air, you both noticed something in the sky. You looked at in confusion before you finally realized what it was, as it came closer towards you.
Your eyes widened at the sight infront of you, an improved version of Nikolai’s hummingbird…with him on it. He stood on the ship, not having any realization of the massive threat coming his way.
Before you could think anything, you rushed forward and brought both of your hands and sent a massive gust of wind towards the ship’s way. Until Nikolai realized what was happening, it had been too late as he was inches away from being blown to bits.
At the last moment, you thrust your arms forward and sent a gust of wind his way, making the ship violently thrash sideways and finally crashing to the ground.
David rushed towards the ship and helped Nikolai get out. 
Nikolai went towards you, grinning like an idiot. Even though his initial plan had failed, he was amused by how grand his entrance had been. He believed you to have a similar reaction to his little stunt, but the truth appeared to be on the contrary.
You stormed towards him with your fists clenched at your sides, your face flushed red
“So, how did you think of my little manoeuvre?” he asked, still grinning. 
“Have you gone mad!?” you practically yelled at him, your face brimming with anger
“I-” he was caught off-guard by your sudden tone, he’d never seen you this angry
“This place is supposed to be off limits to anyone! And you just waltz in here so willing to get yourself blown to bits!” your rage not deteriorating in the slightest. “You could’ve died!”
Nikolai’s expression transformed into one of immense regret once the realization of what could’ve just happened dawned on him. “I- I wanted to surprise you” he looked down at his feet, his face flushed with guilt
“Well you’ve surprised me enough by almost being killed by your own weapon” you spat.
He remained silent and couldn’t bring himself to meet your gaze as you left.
              ……………………...................................................................
It was proven now, either Nikolai has always been a massive idiot or he’d now turned into one. Had he lost his mind? He could’ve died today, and just because of his foolishness. Had he truly been that big of an idiot to just fly to a practically death zone? You thought to yourself as anger flooded your brain.
What if he…what if I weren’t able to save him on time? Panic filled in you, but now you were truly grateful that he was alive. You couldn’t bear to imagine your life without him in it. You couldn’t bear to live without him.
“I can’t believe he’d do something so idiotic!” you explained the whole incident to Zoya with immense exasperation.
However, she didn’t seem to have the kind of reaction you had anticipated. “Are you really that oblivious?” she sighed
“Wait, what?” you looked at her in confusion
“Can’t you see what he’s been attempting to do for weeks?” she continued, but seeing you still failed to understand, she explained further. “He’s trying to impress you . Have you not noticed his strange behaviour and foolish attempts to win you over?” she rolled her eyes.
A sudden thought struck your mind, Is this why he had been acting so strange for the past few weeks? You wondered. Him behaving strangely at the sight of you, his miserable attempts of striking a conversation with you, running to you all the way from his palace in the rain, and now this. 
Was he truly attempting to…win you over? Your eyes widened at the possibility
You had made a massive mistake, you were sure of it now. Even though Nikolai had managed to almost get himself killed, you had practically yelled at him. You’d broken the heart of the very boy who was going over the board to make you happy.
You had to fix this.
                       …………………………………….................................
You smiled at the sight of Nikolai sitting by himself in the garden. You knew you’d find him here, this is where he’d go when he’d be feeling unwell. More importantly, the place where you had your first proper conversation with him. 
“We can get the hummingbird fixed Nikolai, you shouldn’t feel so disconsolate” You spoke as you approached him
He turned sideways to look at you but then again dropped his gaze to his feet, “It’s not that I’m worried about” he spoke in a tone that truly displayed how heart broken he’d been.
 He then shifted to a side to allow you to sit beside him. “I’m sorry for doing all that, I realize how dangerous it was. But I- I just wanted to surprise you”.
You sighed as you looked at him, “I know Nikolai, I now realize you weren’t intending on getting yourself hurt. But you must know that you don’t need any grand gestures to surprise me, or make me happy. And what if you’d been hurt? How could I have lived without you?” you spoke in a soft voice.
“Really? You- you can’t live without me?” his gaze finally met yours
“Of course not you idiot” you grinned slightly. “Take this very moment for example, just sitting beside you in such a peaceful state is surprise enough for me” your tone grew sombre.
“It is?” he raised his eyebrows in curiosity
“Yeah. Now tell me, what’s been on your mind for so long?”
Nikolai seemed to hesitate before finally mustering up the courage to speak. “I- well the reason I’ve been acting so weird is, well because I’ve fallen in love with you. You’ve plagued my mind in such a way that none other ever had. The way you show affection not in words but your actions, how excited you can get when you get a new idea for something. And those eyes“ he gazed deepened.
“They’re-the way they gleam in the moonlight. They’re so- drownable in”.
His words touched your soul in a way none other had. It was like you’d fallen in love with him all over again.
“So I- I just wished to do something, anything that would make you find me endearing in the slightest” he continued
You were quite startled by his words. All this just to make me find him, endearing? 
You let out a light chickle, making him give you an utterly confused look. “Well, I believe that won't be a problem anymore” you gave him a sly grin
“What? why?” 
“Well, to your enormous luck, I already find you endearing enough, love” 
He looked at you in disbelief which was clearly displayed on his face. Did she really say that?? he thought. 
“Wait, wh- really?” he had a shocked expression plastered over his face
“Yes, I believe I do” you grinned
He continued to look at you with utter disbelief. He couldn't believe what you just said was true. He'd written a whole speech and all but he was panicking too much to think of a word. You'd rendered him speechless. 
“I-” he racked his brain to think of something but he just couldn't. He really did not wish for it to go like this, with him panicking too much to utter a word. 
But your expression remained stagnant. You gazed intensely in his hazel eyes before cupping both his cheeks with your hands and softly pressing your lips to his. 
Nikolai's eyes widened at your action, he'd been the luckiest man alive. 
You slowly pulled away from him. 
“I had a whole speech and all but I have to admit I do not remember a word” he spoke
You grinned at his words, “I have to admit it was quite entertaining, watching you fail so miserably without having a clue as to what exactly you were willing to do”
This time, his hands were on either sides of your face before he pulled you close and pressed his lips on yours. Loving every moment of it. 
Even though his plans hadn't exactly worked, he was immensely glad to be in this very moment. 
 And that, was how he managed to get the girl of his dreams. 
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blackcherryvelvet0909 · 11 months
Text
Sunset Ombre (Vil x GN!Reader)
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Your ears were filled with the sounds of crashing waves. The golden grains of sand crunched against your feet as you walked along the shore, eyes cast out to the sea beyond. The sun had begun to set upon the horizon, casting the sky in beautiful, soft, colorful hues. You sighed as another cool breeze swept through, tossing your hair in wisps a second time. It was surely time to go back to your room, but you didn’t want to leave! The scenery was just too breathtaking to leave behind. 
You heard a sigh so soft from behind you that you almost mistook it for the wind. The soft crunch of steps upon the sand told you otherwise. Before you could even turn around fully, the glimpse of purple-tinted shades let you know who had come to find you. 
“There you are.” Vil took a few steps more towards you before he stopped, hand rested upon his hips. “You do realize everyone else has gone back to the hotel, yes? Do you wish to catch cold out here?” 
“I’m sorry.” There really was no reason to apologize, you were free to do as you pleased - but you did realize you could have let someone know you’d be out here a while longer. “I guess I just lost track of time. It’s been so long since I last came to a beach; even then, it’s nothing compared to this.” You turned your gaze back out towards the waves, a smile stretched across your face at the sight. “It’s so beautiful here.” 
Vil followed your gaze, then gave a nod in affirmation. “Yes, it is quite the view.” He turned his head slightly to glance over at you. “But you can admire it more from your hotel room window. If you like, I wouldn’t even mind if you chose to visit my condo for an even better vantage point. Just come inside before certain people start to throw a tantrum - and before your skin dries out.” 
Ever the maternal one, Vil Schoenheit, whether or not he admitted it. There was no way he’d leave you alone until you did what he wanted. You weren’t exactly annoyed…just taken aback by his care, sometimes. You chuckled as you gave a little nod, “Alright, alright, I’m coming!” 
“You better,” Vil sighed. “My patience for Grim can only stretch so far.” 
“Oh, trust me, you’re not the only one.” 
Before you could turn to head back to the resort, your eyes caught something interesting - eye-catching. The sky had taken on a soft purple hue; golden rays of setting sunshine highlighted the expanse quite spectacularly. In your line of sight was also Vil’s hair, still tied in an elegant braided bun (at least what you could see from under his wide-brimmed sun hat). The blond of his hair, the purple ombre that faded in at the ends…you couldn’t help but release another chuckle. 
“I guess you made the sky jealous.”
Vil raised an eyebrow as he glanced your way again. “Hm? What do you mean?” 
“The colors of the sky match your hair,” you replied. “It’s beautiful.” You watched Vil’s eyes widened at your comparison; the sudden pink tint to his cheeks must’ve been a reflection of the setting light. Your brain began to scramble itself in worry and regret. Was that the wrong thing to say? Did you…oh shit, it sounded like you were flirting, didn’t it? “S-Sorry, that sounded weird, I didn’t mean to-”
The small laugh Vil let out caused your words to stop on your tongue - your heart to flutter. His eyes were closed in glee, mouth opened in a perfect smile. His pointer finger and thumb came up to hold the right temple of his sunglasses, then lifted them up to reveal his twinkling violet eyes. He looked genuinely happy. 
“No, no, do go on!” The Pomefiore housewarden gave you a little wink. “I would love to hear what else is on that silly little mind of yours~” 
Your heart pounded in your chest, your blood pumped in your ears, your face felt hotter than it did before. Vil simply chuckled at your embarrassment, setting his shades back in place before he began to walk forward, back towards civilization. He glanced over his shoulder at you; his finger curled in a ‘come here’ motion, enticing you to follow. Like a lovesick fool, you did so without a word. 
As if to sink further into whatever hole you got yourself into, when yet another breeze blew through, you tucked a stray lock of Vil’s hair behind his ear. 
195 notes · View notes
the-moon-lullaby · 11 months
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Okay, I spent an early morning reading this wonderful blog (seriously, you really do it well), and I wanted to place an order too. It's always nice and interesting to read other people's HC's, sometimes even debate about it, and honestly you seem like a great person to talk to.
By the way, I read below that you were busy with college exams, I hope they are over now and you are free of this Hell. If unfortunately not, my condolences, but good luck.
Anyway, my request is very simple: based on my bad night, since I woke up because of a nightmare... I wanted to see Candy waking up in shock, because of a horrible nightmare, and her first reaction is to call her boyfriend to try to calm down. Oh, it could be on HSL.
The HSL Boys' reaction to Candy having a nightmare
N/A : Hiii ! Thank you for being so sweet, it means a lot ! I feel horrible that you had to wait so long for your request to be done but there we are. I hope you like it still ! (Also I hope your nightmare wasn't too bad and I wish you nothing but sweet dreams darling) 💕
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𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 : 
Nathaniel can be a light or heavy sleeper according to how tired he is 
Yet, if Candy starts speaking, crying or even screaming in her sleep, that’s more than enough to wake him up with a little fright 
Now, depending on how intense and how affected Candy seemed to be by said nightmare, he’d start shaking her up immediately and would probably freaks out a bit if she’s yelling in her sleep or if she can’t stop crying
If it’s not that terrible, he’ll try to gently pull her close and caress her hair, hoping that this should be enough to comfort her and allow her to sleep more peacefully 
But if he doesn’t hear her and  it’s Candy waking him up, give him a few second and he’ll handle the situation (I have the feeling that Nathaniel is easy to wake up in the way that his brain is functional straight up after being awoken and slay honestly, that couldn’t be me)
(or if Candy’s calling him in the middle of the night on his phone, he’ll be woken up by the ringing, which according to Nath’s personality is probably the most basic one, without offense. You know the Apple default wake up alarm ? Surely it is that one and oh boy, if there’s a top ten of the things you don’t want to hear in the middle of the night it’s totally one. I would personally rank it above the sound of a demonic entity, that how much I can’t stand it anymore) 
He’ll listen to Candy rant about her nightmare (whether irl or on the phone) and would try his best to reassure 
He’d avoid saying basic things like « it was just a bad dream » because yes, that’s the point, it was that bad. So instead of trying to diminish the things he’d try to be more focus on validating her like « I understand why you were so scared » (even if the nightmare was about something he’s not afraid of) or « Do you want to keep talking or you’d rather if we talk about something else ? » (And he’s ready to talk about anything you like if it can bring peace to your mind)
(If Candy’s calling him, he gets a certain feeling of pride washing over him, even if she’s waking him up in the middle of night it doesn’t matter, he feels great about being the person she thinks of when she needs to be comforted. And it makes sense since it’s who Candy is to him as well)
If it happened while she was staying over and if she can’t stop crying, doesn’t want to talk about the nightmare and no matter how many hugs and sweet words he offers her seemed to make her feel better, he’ll get up and go get a glass of water and Blanche (because every time he feels down, petting and cuddling with her makes him feel better so bring the cat, maybe it’ll work for Candy too) or if they’re on a call, he’ll FaceTime so she can see Blanche
He doesn’t mind staying up until late if she doesn’t want to go back to sleep right away even if they got to go to school the next day (he’s used to be sleep deprived anyway with the amount of all-nighter he pulls to study so don’t worry he can handle it)
𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 : 
Honestly, Lysander sleeps like a baby most of the time, which means he is neither a heavy or light sleeper and he doesn’t get nightmares that often (or when he does, it mostly sad ones and it’s understandable since he went through some major loss in his life. He might also get nightmares where he gets hit by a car since it happened to him and there’s some trauma that went along with it)
But the fact that this happens so rarely to him can explain why he doesn’t know how to right away to comfort Candy went she going through it
No matter the nightmare, even if it doesn’t seem to be an awful one, he’ll wake her up. Just in case
He wouldn’t say much though and simple take her in his arms, planting kisses on the top of her head and try to lull her 
He wants her to know that she’s safe so he rather acting on it instead of trying to find words that would probably end up sounding absurd 
If he receive a call from Candy in the middle of the night, it’d wake him up but also got him confused since it’s pretty unusual for her to call him at this hour without warning
He’d freak out a little because of it 
When Candy tells him about it, he’ll be more focused on why she felt so scared rather than the thing itself (if that makes sense ? It’s like, if we found the root of the problem then we can get rid of it instead of just trying to make her feel better temporarily)
If Candy and him are physically together in this situation, he’ll get up and invite her to do the same so they can improvise make hot chocolate or simply some tea 
They’d have to be quiet though because chances are that Leigh is sleeping in his room
If he sees that talking about the nightmare doesn’t help, he’ll try to distract Candy by telling her about stories (probably little myths and legends from where he is from that could be comforting since Lysander is a countryside boy. Idk if that’s the case everywhere, but from where I am from, there’s plenty of little tales like that and I can totally picture our boy paying interest to them)
Or he would tell her stories about his childhood on the farm (because even though he kinda stopped having nightmares as he grew up, when he was little it was an other story)
Overall, he’s very calm and that itself is reassuring and comforting. Also he emphasises on the point that he’s glad Candy woke him up as she could never burden him and it makes him happy to be there for her as the romantic man he is 
𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 :
The only reason Armin wouldn’t be up in the middle of the night is because Candy is staying over and he went to bed with her 
Otherwise, he’s up all night playing games, watching animes or googling the most random things ever (you know these questions you ask yourself at 3AM and even though having the answer to it will not change anything to your life but you feel like you have to know ? Happens to him all the time. It makes me think, could he have ADHD ? Perhaps, but he surely got some symptoms even if he doesn’t)
Also, he’s a heavy sleeper so he might not hear Candy having a nightmare unless it’s getting loud and his reaction to it : panickkk
He’d just cluelessly shake her up because what else is he supposed to do ? 
Unlike (his bestie) Nathaniel, his mind does take some time to be functional after waking up so he’s confused, Candy’s confused (and scared/shocked), everyone’s confused, it’s a mess
The brief conversation they had before Armin gets to pull himself together is absolutely chaotic because of it (like Candy is absolutely terrified and he’s just like « huh ??? What ??? WHAT IS IT ?? »)
They’d sit up in bed and he’ll listen to Candy explaining what had happened and he finally gets it (why do I feel Armin is the slow friend ? Also completely out of topic but I’ve been rewatching some Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes and am I the only one that can imagine Shane and Ryan’s dynamic as Armin and Nath’s ? Like Shane as Armin and Nath as Ryan. Ok, that was not the request but I needed to say it)
I think his first reflex would be to go grab something to eat. And since the twins’ parents seem to be the coolest, I bet their house never lacks snacks (I’m envious). 
Armin raiding his parents’ kitchen at every opportunity he got is basically canon at this point
I feel like Armin’s way of comforting people is by trying to make them laugh so when Candy tells the whole with more detail he’d comment on it just to have a little giggle out of her 
He might very well ask her if she wants to play a video game or watch a movie (maybe a Ghibli one because they’re the epitome of comfort and no one can argue about this. Yes, I am a big fan of Ghibli movies)
In the end, Armin is the perfect guy when it comes to lighten up the mood and even though he’s not sure about how you should comfort someone properly, he manages to do an excellent job and Candy’s nightmare feels far away now as he so easily put a smile on her face (and he does so by simply existing, what a flex)
Now if he receives a phone call from Candy and that she’s isn’t by his side, he immediately picks up because as I said, he pulls all-nighters all the time so chances are that he isn’t asleep 
He’d FaceTime her right away and overall, he’d act the same way except that he can’t raid the kitchen for her on this one 
𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕 : 
He’s a heavy sleeper, no questions asked. Even worse than Armin so once again, for him to be woke up by Candy having a nightmare, she got to be very loud or to wake him up herself 
And if she does, she’ll scare the shit out of him because he was unprepared and he needs time to collect his thoughts when emerging from his slumber (I feel like coma would be a more appropriate word lol)
Which is why if Candy calls him after a nightmare he might not hear his phone ring (or that could also be like this guy constantly leaves his phone on « Do Not Disturb » because guess what ? Most of the time, he do not want to be disturbed by anyone or anything - even though Candy’s the exception because he’s whipped but that’s a whole other story)
But if he sees that he missed the call in the morning, be absolutely certain that he’ll feel terrible (even more when Candy tells him about why she called him because he’ll deny to death but he would have loved to play the white knight and be the shoulder she can lean on during tough times. Metaphorically in this scenario but still, he’s much more of a romantic that he likes to admit)
Yet, if by any chances he wasn’t asleep, he’ll catch the call and he’d be confused and worry at the moment he hears Candy being so upset 
He’d be like « c’mon little girl, take a deep breath, it’s okay » (and since it’s late he has his tone affected by tiredness that makes his voice more deep and calm. Idk if you can picture it but I think there’s a difference in people’s voice according to what time of the day it is and I think that « night voice » exist)
Surprisingly, Castiel handles the situation really well. He’s calm and composed which is obviously the best attitude to adopt when trying to reassure someone 
Whether it’s on the phone or in person, he’ll let out some sweet words, even gets a little cheesy dare I say and would tell her how much he loves her as he sees how that calms her down (don’t mention his cheesiness afterwards though because otherwise he’ll never allow himself to be so open about his feelings with you and next time you need to be comforted, GET COMFORTED ON YOUR OWN. That’s what you get if you make fun of him - but why would you when he’s being so sweet though ?)
If Candy is by his side in this scenario, he’ll shelter her in his arms, hold her tight to keep her grounded and will gently rub her skin, hoping that the repetitive movement helps her to calm down
Now if it’s not enough, he’ll ask her if she wants to get up (and that means a lot coming from him because he’s probably exhausted) and go get some water or even go on his little terrasse for a few minutes to enjoy the refreshing air of night 
He might not say much since his mind isn’t the clearest at this precise moment (doesn’t know what to say) but he makes up with his touch and by carefully listening to Candy as she tells him all about the nightmare and as goes done from the adrenaline rush caused by the fear
Could bring Demon if she wants to (Animals are the best emotional support, I’ll never let go of this idea)
𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗 : 
Kentin is a light sleeper but it wasn’t always the case. It started when he arrived at the military school and his « comrades » used to pull pranks on him while he was sleeping. Therefore, he kinda has this habit of sleeping with an eye open one might say (when you think about it, it’s basically ptsd and that is tragic. But Kentin’s a tragic character in a way and that is unfortunately pretty much overlooked)
When hears Candy sobbing, talking or even screaming (if so his reflex will be kicking in and he’s now wide awake ready to fight the threat. He’s too sweet and too pure), he starts by waking her up and before asking anything, he cups her face and try to make sure she knows she awake
He wants her to know that whatever nightmare she was having, no matter how terrible, it is now over and she’s completely safe by his side 
He’d dry her tears, trying to help go back to a steady breathing and only when she’s a bit calmed down, he’ll ask about what happened 
I feel like Kentin is good at dealing with nightmares for the sole reason that he has them often and a lot himself. Considering what he’s been through and how much he repressed his feelings, it makes sense and honestly he deserves better
He’ll make Candy sit up and hold his hand while he listens.
He’ll try to hide his glistening eyes since he doesn’t want Candy to think she’s making him sad but he can’t help it.
We know how much he cares about her so seeing her upset is enough to make him upset as well 
If Candy’s calling him instead, he was probably asleep but as soon as he heard his phone ringing, he picked up (he was awoken by the singular alarm he picked for Candy)
He’s frustrated he can’t be there with her but he also feels pride swelling in his chest. The idea of Candy counting on him to calm her down in this situation makes him feel like a big boy lol
He might FaceTime or not, depending on if she wants to see him or just hearing his voice
He doesn’t mind staying on the phone all night if it’s with Candy. Therefore she can take all her time to talk about her nightmare or anything really because he’s not bothered by it in the slightest 
If they’re at his place, he’ll reveal his secret stash of cookies and will offer some to Candy (sweet boy)
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There we go ! I hope it's not that bad but I've been gone for so long (much more than I expected, sorry again about that) I felt like I am rusting. Do not be surprised if you see some edits on the posts in the future (idk if I am satisfied with it or not, I got the feeling that I could do better).
Also I really went big on the personal thoughts on that one and it's probably because I am loosing my mind (because yes I started a summer job and it's in a factory. Your girl is making nuggets for basically eight hours straight and has to wake up at 4 AM in the week to do so. And each time I wonder WHO SENT ME THERE ? and the answer is me because we live in a capitalistic society and I have bills to pay now that I am a big girl.) But Live laugh love as they say 💀(who really says that though?)
Anyway, I wish you all a splendid day and see you soon (for real this time, I hope) !
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nanowrimo · 1 year
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10 Tips for Fast-Drafting
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Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Freewrite, a 2023 NaNo sponsor, is a dedicated distraction-free drafting device designed just for writers. Today, author Ashley Poston and the Freewrite team share some tips for completing a first draft of your novel quickly:
Hello from the Freewrite team! 👋 Here at Freewrite, we love a NaNoWriMo challenge, because we’re all about getting words on the page. We asked Author & Freewrite Ambassador Ashley Poston to share her best tips for fast-drafting and getting that first draft DONE!
No surprise, one of her secrets is her Freewrite. But what else does Ashley do to get those drafts done fast?
Here’s Ashley:
I have a confession to make: I hate drafting. It’s the bane of my existence. If I could reach into my brain and take out my story, fully-formed, and just work on the editing bit? I’d do it.
But, alas, that’s not how writing works. (Which is a real pity because I really do love editing. The way you go in with a fine-tooth comb and just torch the entire novel, then rewrite it for the third time. It’s truly majestic.)
Though after ten years, I’ve yet to figure out a way to pull a novel, fully-formed, out of my ears. So, instead, I like making the part of drafting as painless as possible… by doing the most painful, maddening, infuriating thing imaginable.
In other words: fast-drafting.
I’ve perfected the art. I can write a book in a week if I have enough caffeine and a death wish, and with these ten tips, so can you.
1. Find your characters.
Truly, the most important part of fast-drafting is knowing your characters from the outset. In a first draft, you usually find your characters in the middle of the second-to-last chapter. (Or is that just me?) So it often helps to know your characters inside and out from the start. Not only that, but know how they’d react in certain situations, know what would be on their Spotify playlist, know whether they’d have a repertoire of Your Mom jokes up their sleeve. How do they take their coffee? If faced with ten seconds to live, who would they call? Most of these questions you’ll never answer in the manuscript itself, but it’s important to know these people in your head on an intimate level.
2. Use your time(r) wisely.
Setting a timer can be a great way to increase your writing speed. Start with a short amount of time—maybe 15 minutes—and write like the wind, Bullseye! Then shake yourself out, set that timer to 15 again, and repeat. (This is SO easy on my Freewrite Traveler, because it has a feature that keeps time for you, making 15-minute sprints easy-peasy.)
3. Outline.
In addition to your characters, you really should get to know your plot, too, and a great way to do that is making an outline! There are a bunch of different tips and tricks to outlining—I personally use Susan Dennard’s 1-page Synopsis whenever I need to hash out a plot, and Rachel Aaron’s 2k to 10k Blogpost from Ye Olde 2011.
4. No distractions!
Writing is already hard enough, but it becomes almost impossible when you have a cat pronking on you every chance they get. Sometimes, life can just be that—distracting—and you can’t do anything about it. But minimize distractions wherever you can, especially if you’re sprinting. Turn off your phone! Disconnect the internet! And here is where I tell you my Freewrite has saved my butt countless times. I’m horrid at the whole “cut distractions!” bit, but with Freewrite, it’s easy as pie. It’s a lot like a typewriter, so internet? Never heard of her. iMessages? iThinkNot. It’s just you, your words, and the mounting existential dread of existence.  
5. Compression gloves. (No, seriously, especially if you write every day.)
This is gonna sound like one of those weird ones—and that’s because it is. But if you’re planning on writing every day for at least an hour, please do yourself (and your budding carpel tunnel) a favor and get some compression gloves. Learn some hand exercises. We don’t call writing fast “sprinting” for nothing.
6. Don’t look back.
It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to perfect the prologue, but this can absolutely hinder you. Take it from someone who loves to make the first chapter perfect—you never will. I promise. Instead, focus on getting your ideas down on paper and worry about editing later. I promise that sentence you didn’t like will be there when you come back to it. It’s not going anywhere. This is another area where my Freewrite helps me focus.
7. Use prompts!
Sometimes, your brain gets stuck. If you feel stuck, or in a corner, use a writing prompt to get the creative juices flowing again! Maybe you’ll never use the scene, but that’s OK. If it means you get going again? That’s what matters. 
8. Stuck? Hit the bricks! Real winners quit. But like… not forever.
Writing can be mentally draining, so it’s important to not push yourself too hard, and to take breaks when you need it. Take a walk, stretch, dance it out to ABBA—whatever helps you recharge. And then when you come back to the scene, you’re refreshed and rearing to go.
9. Chunk it up.
Breaking up your writing into smaller, manageable chunks can make drafting so much less daunting. Instead of making the goal finishing the novel, just finish the chapter. Finish this scene. Sometimes, it helps if people set a goal for a certain amount of words a day, but I find that this often just leads to burnout a lot faster. Instead of a word count, set a goal for a scene instead. Turn off the word counter. A first draft doesn’t have to hit a certain number of words—it’s called a first draft for a reason.
10. Practice makes more practice.
Like anything else you do, writing takes practice. I know I can easily hit 5k a day, but that’s because I’ve been writing professionally for a decade now. If you’re just starting out, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. (In fact, this is a great rule of thumb regardless.) Everyone writes differently, and everyone writes in their own time. No one ever asked Van Gogh how long it took him to paint sunflowers, did they? No one told Monet he was taking too long on his water lilies. Writing is an art, so let yourself enjoy it.
I hope this helps you, at least a little, write your next sexy dragon-shifter book! (Or whatever you’re working on.) Godspeed, and just remember: only you can write the idea in your head. Different writers can be given the same exact prompt, and every single story will turn out differently. Keep your eyes on your own paper, your heart full of joy, and chase that story only you can tell.
It’ll be worth it, I promise.
—Ashley
Reminder: Camp NaNoWriMo 2023 participants are eligible for a special Freewrite offer. Find all the details here. 
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Ashley Poston is the New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of The Dead Romantics. After graduating from the University of South Carolina with a bachelor’s in English, she spent the last decade working in the publishing industry before deciding to pursue writing full-time. When not writing, she likes trying various arts and crafts (she’s currently addicted to building miniature rooms) and taking long walks as an excuse to listen to Dungeons & Dragons podcasts. She bides her time between South Carolina and New York, and all the bookstores between.
Top photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash  
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uhswag · 2 years
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regret
fwb!charles leclerc x fem!reader
summary: you seek comfort in your situationship after a shitty day, but it only makes your day worse.
warnings: kinda toxic, smut (not that detailed tho), fwb
a/n: this was lowkey hard to write😭 and kinda based on something that happened to me😦 but f it we ball. i think this is angsty tho?? i tried idk. anyway enjoy buggos 💋
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today sucked in all honesty. people on the street were mean. it was too hot and humid. your skin felt too much like skin. every little thing seemed to bother you and you were looking for a release. your release in mind? sex.
showing up at charles door for this was pretty natural at this point. the sex was good, and you guys had a friends with benefits situation going on for about four months. it was mainly sex, but sometimes you two had days that felt like real dates, and it made you wonder if whatever you had could be real. but all those “dates” ended with sex.
as much as you wished the lingering stares meant more, realising that most of your time together included sex at some point brought you back to reality. nonetheless, a small part of you may have started to catch feelings, but you would never admit it to the monegasque; you barely could admit it to yourself. your answer to avoid your feelings was that it was your “brain chemicals tricking you,” because certain hormones release after sex and can make you feel lust… right?
you end up at charles door this evening. you probably should have texted him before you were about to knock on his door, but this was an impulse visit. you craved something comforting tonight, and this was where your body took you.
the door swings open and a cocky smile is glowing from charles face, “surprise visit?” 
“just need to get my mind off things,” you hum, stepping inside his flat and taking in charles’ appearance. your eyes wander about his grey joggers and a white t-shirt that fit him perfectly.
“why waste any time then?” he says, then pulling you in for a kiss.
you immediately kiss him back, hungry for him. your hands wander to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss while you fight him for dominance. 
“someone’s needy tonight.”
per usual, you end up in his bedroom in some position on his bed. tonight, one leg is thrown over his shoulder as he thrusts into you. however, the sex wasn’t curing your feelings from earlier today at all. if anything, it made you feel worse.
mentally frustrated, and now sexually frustrated, your body starts to tense underneath him. regretting the position you are currently in, the comfort you sought in sex was nowhere to be found.
charles, who was confused, noticed your discomfort and slowed down, scanning your face for answers. 
you pull away from him trying to find something to cover your bare body, “sorry, i- i just don’t know if i’m feeling sex right now.” you stammer hesitantly. struggling to find the right words to say as you don’t know the best way to vocalise all your thoughts right now. all the same feelings from the previous hours of the day resurfaced and you felt stressed. 
“did i do something wrong?”
“no, no, it’s me i-,”
“then come on, mon ange, at least finish what you started.” charles cut you off with his suggestion, finding it hard to ignore his erect cock, but his words did not help you whatsoever. he clearly didn’t seem to grasp the level of your discomfort. and you really couldn't care less about that fact you may have given him blue balls.
“i just- i think i’m gonna head home.” you mutter, not knowing what else to say in response to his comment. this was the only thing you thought of as your mind was blanking. you were starting to deeply regret your visit.
“ok fine,” he laughs slightly, getting up off the bed, “go home then.”
“wait, what?” you ask in disbelief at what you just heard. a pit in your stomach forming slowly because deep down all you ever wished for was him asking you to stay.
“you came here for sex, no?” he states bluntly, redressing himself. “you don’t seem to be enjoying that, so why stay any longer.”
you look at charles, still in shock at what you heard, but his back is facing you. the man who is basically telling you to fuck off can’t even say it to your face. 
“right,” you whimpered, ”just sex. i’ll get going.” was all you had to say. you had no energy to even fight him back, all you could do was half heartedly agree. you needed to get out of his flat as soon as possible. frantically, you were searching for your belongings while biting your lip, trying to hold back that flow of tears and ignore the pain that was growing in your chest. 
forgetting everything from earlier, this was worse. charles made you feel like a useless cumdumpster, and maybe that’s what you were to him for the past four months. he spoke to you like you meant nothing. 
seeking solace in your own bed, you practically ran home. you wanted to walk as far away from him as humanly possible.
but, some part of you wanted to believe maybe he was pushing you away because he caught feelings too. maybe he was scared and that’s why he said what he said, but no matter the mental convincing or the “what if’s,” you heard him loud and clear. showing up tonight was your first and last mistake. you should've just stayed home.
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part 2??? let me know idk. also sorry for the verb tense changes but i actually cba to fix them because i wanted to get this out since i havent posted in a min.
also if i missed any warnings lmk bc i also suck with those😭 this writing shit be hard for real, so constructive criticism is welcome!
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astroyongie · 7 months
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₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚. Halloween Pick a Card - Special ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.
Note: Hello everyone! I am a little bit late but I am here finally <3
This pick a card is a little different, it contains messages but turned into spooky way. It also contains a Deity/spiritual part if you want to read (basically which energy wishes to work towards you).
₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚. Now pick a card you feel most connected with and discover your message ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.
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₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚.
Pile One- Ghost  
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Message: I know that things aren't straightforward lately and that you feel very overwhelmed by things that are happening around you, especially in the working/studying field of your life (although this could be any field depending on your situation). although I see a lot of disharmony here, I want to tell you that you are the only one who can make it change. For that, you will need to take that harsh decision. That decision that fights between your heart and your brain. Following one of them isn't easy, but you need to make a choice, because since you are trying to hold everything together you aren't noticing how self-destructive this is. let go. Make a decision about your life. Only that way you will have the opportunity to move on. Stop using your head, and just follow your impulses; Remember that those who try to hold on too much, end up losing everything.
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). The energy that is attached to you is very strong. I feel there is a masculine deity/guide around you (for some people can be like a father, grandfather or uncle that passed away), someone strong and fire-related energy. they are powerful, strong, and ruthless. ask for their help to guide you, and allow yourself to feel their energy around you. depending on what you see, search for a masculine deity or guide who is strong and assertive. 
Pile Two- Candle  
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Message: Certain decisions you have made that put you in this current situation, one that you have no idea how to get out of. Worry not, although it seems like you are imprisoned in this and unable to get out, this is actually needed for you to reach a higher self and a more serene path. Remember that sometimes we need to suffer or get tired before being able to test the sweetness of rewards. But love, I don’t want to scare you, but remember that every decision you have made until now will have consequences in the future. Are you ready to live through them? Oh, sweet pain. 
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). Don’t be scared of the presence that is around you. I know that they can seem scary and that they sometimes feel unsafe and some even “demon” like but if they are around it’s because you call them unconsciously. Look for this energy if you feel ready. Search for deities/guides that are linked to the underworld, the dead, the passages, and transformation. In some cases, they can also be linked to healing. And for others, this is someone who has passed away and kept attached to you. 
Pile Three- Pumpkin  
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Message:  Now aren’t you a little hothead? Why have you been feeling so aggressive, so mad, so angry? Baby that is because despite pretending that you are a badass and that you have everything under control, you are actually exhausted and almost burins out from life. Have you noticed how stagnant your life is at the moment? And the worst is that you don’t notice how bitchy and cold heart you have become compared to the past self. Baby listen to me, it’s time to forgive yourself, to forgive others, to forgive and accept what has happened so you can move on and be happy. 
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). This is a very feminine energy, they are very nursing but at the same time oh so spiritual. They are so strong and connected to the underworld but also to the spiritual world, magic, divination, and the moon. She has been waiting for you to be ready to contact them once you feel like it. This deity/guide is very powerful, specially for tose who want to peruse a more magical and spiritual path in their life. 
Pile Four- Raven
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Message: I see that you have been working so hard, pushing yourself, and doing so many things in order to make everyone around you (and yourself) proud. And you know what? The universe has listened to you because they have accepted and understood your hard work, so prepare yourself to have these huge rewards/opportunities for everything you have done so far. I just want to warn you about something. Although you have all right to enjoy what you are about to receive remember your roots, and do not follow into an egoistic and bad side of wealth/change just because you had the luck to taste it. What is given can be taken. 
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). For some of you your guide is someone that has passed in your family. For other this is a guide/deity that is associated with festivities, with family, drinks, party, marriage, love and just happiness in general. Search for them and their support as you need it in your life. 
Pile Five- Cat  
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Message: Baby baby baby, let me tell you something. Be careful, because these so many choices that are open in front of you can be poisoned gifts and you need to be careful not to fall into illusions. Make sure you know everything before making important decisions and remember that you are strong and independent and that the choices you need to make for yourself are those that will keep you elevated. There’s situations you might fall into that might cause you debts (not necessarily financial) and is there anything worst than owing someone something? Even more so when it seems that these choices will get you stuck. So please, be careful, and think twice before accepting. 
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). When it comes to a passed person, this is someone who has been trying to get your fogginess for leaving you behind. For others, this is a deity that works with healing, with reconciliation and meds. Someone who works with justice and healing the soul in general. Search for a deity/guide that works in that field. 
Pile Six- Bat
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Message: The pain, the fear, and the wounds are still here, they are still present. The thing I ask you is, why do you keep pushing fire into your inner turmoils? You know what hurts you, you know what trudgers you, you know what puts you in such a miserable state, why do you see pushing yourself toward this instead of accepting happiness? And if you are right now thinking “Because I deserve to suffer, I don’t deserve to be happy” I will personally kick your ass. Let go of what is strangled in your throat. Tell your secrets, tell people the true, remove those weights that you carry. And you know what, no matter the reaction of people you need to put yourself first and start to move on, or else you will get lost for good. You have been restless for too long, it is time to do things and do them right. Refuse sadness and misery. REFUSE THEM. 
Deities or spiritual guide: (this isn't the same deity/energy for everyone, so please follow what feels right). It doesn’t seem many of you are ready to work in the spiritual world since most of you are stuck. However, there’s some of you who have been called by deities/energies that work with protection, burdens, challenges, and competition. I also see that there’s a lot happening in the astral, some energies competing to get to you. 
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autisticlancemcclain · 6 months
Text
PSA
hello everyone!! a bit of a serious post today.
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i don't want to sound whiney. but i have noticed a bit of a tone in a couple of my asks lately?? very few of them, let me assure, but a couple people seem to be frustrated at the speed/rate at which i answer asks. so i wanted to help clear the air.
REASONS I HAVE NOT YET ANSWERED YOUR ASK (THAT I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE):
i am in the process of answering it
sometimes i get asks for certain fics, to either write or to help find. and these things take time! sometimes i get very lucky and fics hit me as soon as i see them, but more often it takes me days or weeks! and fic searches take me even longer!
2. i have other ideas
you guys have a lot of great headcanons and fic premises! i do too. i've been in this fandom since june of 2016, there's a very VERY long list of things i want to write. things get added to the roster, i promise.
3. i am busy
i am in school full time and working part time and volunteering and preparing for teacher's college admissions. writing is my favourite thing to do every day and while i do prioritise it i cannot have it as my first priority. often, this blog gets pushed back when i get busy, as much as i wish that wasn't the case.
4. i am overwhelmed
sometimes the asks pile up. i try to answer comments as they come but for some reason asks work a little bit differently in my brain?? idk. it can be harder for me to force myself to start answering them, even though i love receiving them and when i'm in the mood i could answer fifty at once.
and very, very rarely:
5. i simply do not vibe with it
it happens occasionally. i have a very niche corner of headcanons and stuff i enjoy writing, so it's bound that every once in a while someone sends me an ask with their ideas that just aren't what i personally would read/write. doesn't mean the idea is bad or that i don't enjoy getting excited about your ideas with you, it's just not always going to be something i have the train of thought to write :)
i hope that's not disappointing! i know there are a couple asks that have been sitting in my inbox for over a YEAR. i am getting to them, i promise. one such ask has even inspired a novel-length fic that i'm still working on. finally, i want to remind you guys that i am autistic, and as much as i'm fully capable of handling myself online and everywhere else, i do struggle to read and understand tone and social cues and as such can often miss offense where it is intended or find it where it is not. i can't even tell you if the two examples i included are actually objectively rude/demanding, i can only tell you that they felt that way. there is no need to censor yourself or be anxious to shoot me a message, just maybe remember that i'm doing this for fun? and it frustrates me when it's treated as if it's a job. if you're worried about coming off as demanding, let me know and i'll post some examples of requests that i don't find demanding at all, only excited (which is, and i can't stress this enough, the vast majority of every message i see). thank you guys and ily <333
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Hello! If you don't mind, this is half a vent and half an ask both to you and to your followers who have had some experience?
I feel like I want certain aspects of a romantic relationship, the idea of having someone "special" is very appealing. Especially since I find myself falling in the trap of romance tropes, and I really do feel that I want to find that one person who I'd feel safe being physically close with, and not just because I turn my brain off to suffer through it but to actually enjoy it.
I know that I'm rather attracted to men, in theory at least, but whenever there's even remotely a thought in my brain that a polite conversation may turn into something more I get nervous, kinda in a bad way. I feel like I want to put a barrier in and I'm afraid they'll be reading into my behaviour too much. It makes me feel as if I like to play pretend in my head but I'm too much of a coward when real life gets involved.
I've been identifying as ace for years now, and I just turned 24. No experience in the dating department, I've been slowly making my way to accepting being at least arospec as well, possibly just aro, but for some reason it's been so much harder for me. Asexuality just clicked. This I think I may be fighting because the idea of a relationship seems too nice to give up and I've already had a bad experience with an extremely undernegotiated QPR (ended quickly but left a bitter taste nevertheless).
I just wish I could not think about it? But I also feel like the societal expectations of romantic attraction are much more pressing than sexual one. I don't want to lead anyone on, and I don't want to feel this little bit of dread whenever I have a conversation with a guy who I know doesn't have a girlfriend. That's another sign of being aro, right? Being able to be comfortable only when the possibility of the other party wanting you romantically is non-existent.
Sorry for this being so long. Thank you for listening, either way.
Romance definitely has a hard to explain quality to it, and I think that can make it questioning if you're aro especially tricky. It is possible that anxiety you're feeling when a situation could turn romantic is a form of repulsion. It's not uncommon for romance repulsion to feel more like anxiety or nervousness, and for people feel like wanting to go and hide. Alloromantic people can be nervous too sometimes, but it usually comes with a feeling of anticipation and still being drawn to the other person. Or they will usually have either trouble with anxiety in other areas, or issues with romance (romance related trauma for example). Sometimes it can be tricky to know exactly what it is, but if the stuff below doesn't sound like you at all, than repulsion is a likely explanation.
The other thing I would point is that fully alloromantic people often have people in real life they are experience a romantic pull towards, who they really want to be in a romantic relationship with. And if you're not experiencing that, that could also be a strong sign of being aromantic.
Being aromantic, and even romance repulsed, if you are, does not mean you can't have a very important person in your life. I know you mentioned a QPR that didn't go well, and it's up to you if that's something you ever want to try again, but even if you don't. remember that deep bonds can come in all forms of relationships. All types of relationships, including friendships, familial relationships, etc. have the potential to be very special of very deep if you end up connecting to someone in the right way. So whatever path you choose to take, don't feel like this isn't possible.
I'll throw this out followers too if anyone wants to share their own thoughts or advice.
All the best, Anon! Good luck!
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