#i'm unworthy but i tried lol

[ro-is-struggling]

In Sickness And In Health || Clark Kent x Reader

Summary: You're terrified that your boyfriend Clark —the local superhero and most perfect man on the planet— will see you sick, so you forbid him to visit you while you have a cold. However, when he shows up at your door saying he misses you, he proves that your insecurities were unwarranted.

Warnings: fluff, established relationship, reader being a little insecure, hurt/comfort kinda, my shitty titles (I tried my best :c )

English is not my first language

Word count: 2200

Notes: I wrote this for me while I was recovering from a cold that had me in bed feeling miserable for days. I was a mess and I felt ugly so I wrote this silly little thing to cheer me up as I continued to descend into the Henry Cavill filmography rabbit hole lol I decided to share it bc why not? Hope you guys like it c:

You hated being sick. You hated feeling weak and tired all day, spending hours in bed surrounded by used tissues. You hated that your throat felt scratchy and that your stuffy nose made you have to choose between eating and breathing. You hated having your daily routine interrupted by a stupid cold, but most of all you hated not feeling like yourself. 

You were a mess when you got sick, tangled hair tied up in a messy bun and wearing pajamas all day. You usually didn't move from your bed, which resulted in mountains of used tissues piling up on every surface near you. Multiple cups with leftover tea and a packet of crackers decorated the bedside table, being your main source of food for the day. It was an unpleasant sight so you preferred to spend your sick days alone in the quiet of your home where no one could see your red, irritated nose or the filth you were living in. 

You had specifically asked Clark not to come by your house for that very reason. You loved him to death, but you weren't prepared to let him see you in that state. You felt ugly when you were sick, almost unworthy to be in the presence of someone as perfect and magnificent as him. Clark was literally the perfect man, he never got sick or had to deal with colds in the winter or allergies in the spring. It was almost impossible to see him disheveled since he was able to stop a building from collapsing with his bare hands without a single hair on his head moving out of place. You knew he loved you and didn't care what you looked like, but you couldn't help but feel self-conscious about it since he was literally perfect. So, to save yourself trouble and to concentrate your energy on recovering, you asked him not to come see you for a few days.

Clark respected your wishes at first, but after two days without seeing you he couldn't wait. He missed you and didn't understand your insistence on being alone, it wasn't as if he could catch a cold from you. So when he finished his shift at the Daily Planet he headed to your apartment —stopping on the way just to buy some groceries and a bouquet of flowers for you. He didn't text you that he was going to see you, knowing that if he did you would find some excuse or some way to convince him to go home instead. That's why you were surprised to see him there when you peeked through the peephole in the door before opening it.

"Clark, what are you doing here?" You exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. He wasn't supposed to be there. "I thought I told you not to come here!"

"I know, but I missed you." He pouted and you had to look away from the peep hole before he managed to convince you to let him in with those hurt puppy dog eyes of his. You missed him too, but you were in no condition to be around anyone, let alone him.

"I brought food, I thought maybe I could cook for you while you rest." Clark insisted when you didn't respond. You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness, he sounded so genuinely interested in helping you and taking care of you that it almost broke your heart to have to say no to him.

"I'm not hungry," you lied. "You should go home, Clark."

"Why won't you let me take care of you?" he sighed in frustration. You leaned your forehead against the wood door, debating whether you should tell him the truth. You suddenly felt stupid for having such a specific and probably irrelevant insecurity, but it wasn't like you could control it. 

Despite the fact that you and Clark had been dating for quite a while, you still had a fair amount of 'first times'. You hadn't yet gone on vacation together for example, and he still hadn't met your family —though not by his own choice, he really wanted to. And, among other things, he had never seen you being sick. It was such a silly thing, but you felt ugly and disgusting and all you wanted to do was disappear under the covers and not come out until the cold was cured so no human being would ever have to see you in that state. 

"It's not that I don't want to," you muttered more to yourself than for him to hear, though you knew he could do it because of his powers. You fiddled nervously with the seam of your t-shirt, feeling a little silly for having to talk about this out loud. "It's just that I'm not in the mood to have guests."

"I'm not a guest, I'm your boyfriend."

“Claaark!” You pouted, begging the universe not to make you say out loud what your real problem was. You heard him let out a chuckle from the other side of the door and rolled your eyes, frustrated that he found the situation funny.

"What?" His voice was a perfect mix of confusion and amusement.

"It's just that... I'm not presentable, the house is a mess and I feel ugly. I'd rather you didn't see me like this." 

There was a long silence. Your fingers began to tug at the threads of the seam of the hem of your t-shirt while your teeth nervously nibbled at the skin of your lips, waiting for a response from your boyfriend. The tension grew with every second, time seemed to drag on as the uncertainty of silence ate you up inside. And then you heard a laugh. 

Clark was laughing. 

It wasn't a mocking or evil laugh, more an expression of his own surprise at your revelation. But it still bothered you. "I'm sorry, is this funny to you?"

"Yeah, a little." He replied with a chuckle and you let out a sigh of genuine disbelief. "I mean, you know I can see you through the door, right?" your eyes grew wide at the realization that due to his powers he had been watching you all this time. You turned quickly, facing away from the door as you hid your face in your hands. 

"Clark, stop it right now!" You ordered him and he let out another chuckle. "I mean it!"

"I'm sorry, it's just that I find it a little ridiculous. I mean, you have to know I couldn't care less about how you look. All I want to do is be with you and take care of you, baby." It melted your heart to hear the sincerity in her voice. It wasn't like you didn't know that, but it was nice to hear him say it, to reassure you that his love for you was genuine and pure. 

A part of you was dying to be pampered by him, to lose yourself in the warmth of Clark's strong arms as he held you against his chest, soothing all your aches and pains with his presence alone. It was tempting to think of him pacing around the apartment, making tea and cooking dinner while you rested between the sheets. But the other part of you —-the part that was usually in control of your decisions— hesitated, afraid of shattering some sort of illusion or image Clark had of you. It was silly and it only got sillier every time you thought about it, but you still couldn't bring yourself to open the door for him.

"I know, but still... I'm not ready for you to see me like this. I look hideous."

"You could never look hideous, baby." Clark sighed. His voice sounded closer and clearer, an indicator that he had moved closer to the door.

"You're just saying that because you love me and love has made you stupid and blind."

"Well, yeah, of course I love you. But also, you truly are the most beautiful woman in the world." You smiled to yourself, feeling your insides filling with that comforting warm feeling that you could only describe as the flame of love. Clark always knew just what to say to make all your problems go away. It was one of his best abilities, even if it was under-appreciated when compared to the rest of his powers.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." You lied, knowing full well that his sweet words were slowly softening the hard protective shield you had raised around your heart.

"C'mon, sweetheart! I'm gonna have to see you while you're sick eventually. Or what, once we live together you plan to lock yourself in the bedroom for a week and make me sleep on the couch so I don't see you with a cold? Or maybe I'll have to rent a room in a hotel until you get better? Is that what you want?"

You were silent for a moment as your brain tried to process what he had said, not his ridiculous options for staying apart when you were sick, but the part where he mentioned a future together. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't already imagined what your life together would be like for the next forty years. You wanted to wake up next to Clark every morning, share your free time with him and grow old by his side. He was the love of your life, you were sure of that. But what you didn't know was that he was also thinking about your future together. 

"Once we live together?" you repeated in an excited whisper, the smile on your face widening. "You think about that stuff?"

"Of course I do!" he assured you, sounding slightly offended that you thought otherwise. It hadn't been his intention to make it obvious that every night before bed he imagined his life with you, but he wasn't hiding it either. He was shamelessly in love with you so why bother disguising it. "I want everything with you, sweetheart. I love you."

All worries faded from your mind, banished by the echo of Clark's sweet words. Your hands worked quickly over the locks on the door, removing the latch before turning the key to unlock it. He had won, there was no way you could tell him to leave after such a confession of love. All you wanted to do was hug him and lose yourself in the warmth of his body until you melted into one, show him how much you loved him and how important his words were to you. It was more than the expression of a wish or a projection of the future. It was a promise. The promise of love and commitment. He wanted to be with you in sickness and in health, in good times and in hard times. Clark loved you as much as you loved him and that was all you needed to know to feel better.

"You cheated." You joked as you opened the door, stepping aside to let your boyfriend in. He smiled in amusement at your childish pout, letting out a slight chuckle as he set the shopping bag aside to close the door behind him 

"I was just being honest." Clark looked at you with such adoration in his eyes —his blue orbs glowing with the spark of love— that you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. Blood rushed to your cheeks, making you feel warm for the first time since you'd caught a cold.

"Stop it!" you whined, hiding your face in his chest as a defense mechanism to cope with how vulnerable you felt. 

You'd never been good at receiving compliments and always felt awkward when someone said something nice about you, unsure how to respond other than with a shy smile. And even though Clark seemed to make it his favorite pastime to give you compliments, it hadn't gotten any better. You still felt silly every time he complimented your outfit before going out to dinner or when he told you how beautiful you looked the next morning when you woke up in his arms. But just because you didn't know how to respond to his beautiful words other than with smiles and incoherent sounds of happiness didn't mean you didn't appreciate them. On the contrary, you loved the comforting warmth that flooded your insides every time he smiled at you, looking at you with pure love in his eyes. It made you feel special in a way that no one ever had before. It reassured you that you were on the correct path to happiness.

"I love you." You mumbled against Clark's chest and felt him tighten his grip on you, trapping you in his strong arms. You let the warmth of his body envelop you, slowly dissipating all your troubles. His simple presence was more powerful than any drug or medicine you could take, effectively making you forget all your problems in a matter of seconds. His hug alone was able to lift your spirits, restoring color and joy to your tired expression. That was the effect he had on you.

"I love you too, sweetheart." Clark whispered against your hair, placing a delicate kiss on the top of your head. "Now, will you let me take care of you?"

#clark kent x reader #clark kent x female reader #clark kent fluff #clark kent x reader fluff #clark kent imagine #superman x reader #superman x female reader #superman imagine #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader

[beautifulfuckup99]

How about an insecure reader who thinks she is unworthy of love and keeps pushing JK away and wants to keep it just friends but he doesnt care and snaps one night showing her how much he wants her 🤭😉

Awe! So cute! Got you right now! Lol

Title: I can handle it

Warning(s): Talks of body weight, Insecure!Y/N, Face-S!tting, Dom!Jungkook, D!rty Talk, Spank!ng, Some Hair Pull!ng, Curs!ng, and some well-earned fluff!

Author's Note: So this will follow a curvy and/or plus sized Y/N because as a fellow 'big girl', I know we deserve some damn good smut too! Hope you enjoy! Oh! And this will be and "Idol!AU"...

*************************************

Monday:

"Jungkook, stop!" You snap, finally fed up with today as you move out of his arms. "I'm not going." You declare as you walk back into your closet to change out of the dress. Tonight was nerve-wracking. Management had given Jungkook the green light to make a public outing with you in order to confirm that he was in fact in a relationship.

This would be your first introduction to ARMY, this giant mass of unstoppable force, that could make or break you and your relationship. And you were panicking.

"Y/N, what was wrong with that one?" Jungkook asks in the same calm and soft tone as he always had with you.

But how long would that last?

How long would he put up with you before realizing he could have literally anyone else? Famous or not.

You were spiraling now.

Just fucking great!

"I looked like a fucking pumpkin!" You say with an eyeroll. "Tell the guys I'm sorry, go out with them on your own. We'll do this reveal another time." You state and Jungkook frowns, walking into your closet to actually face you.

"First off..." He says, eyebrows knitted together in slight frustration. He would never let that out in his tone though. "Orange is a great color on you. And secondly, we can't keep putting this off..." He says as you rummage through your rack of clothes to try and find something. Nothing looked good enough.

"Baby, could you please just leave? I wanna change." You say, never a fan of changing in front of him. He rolls his eyes at that.

"Y/N, we've literally had sex before, yet I can never see you naked? It makes no sense." He sighs and you turn to him.

"Out, Jungkook. Now!" You order as you fuss at him. He sighs heavily before just giving in and leaving. There was always tomorrow...

Tuesday:

"Mm... Something smells good..." Jungkook says pleasantly as he wraps his arms around you from behind. You sigh deeply and move from his arms, not liking the feeling of his hands so close to your stomach.

"It's nothing special." You say casually and Jungkook frowns a bit at that and sighs softly before letting it go. He did that a lot when dealing with you. But you were worth that. Even if you never saw it that way...

"Oh? Nothing special, my ass. It smells like Samgyeopsal!" He laughs softly and it almost melts your icy demeanor. Keyword: almost.

"Wait till it's done, to see." You mutter and he laughs more.

"No. Let me see!" He says as he tries reaching over you to uncover the pan.

"Kookie, no! Let it be a surprise!" You laugh as you move in the way so he can't uncover the pan.

"Let me see!" He laughs as he starts to play fight with you.

"No! Go away, wait till dinner!" You fuss and gasp as you feel Jungkook wrap his arms around you and you feel him begin to lift you.

"No! Jungkook, put me down!" You practically shriek in panic. He's quick to put you down and you push him away. "Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself!" You say as you back away, feeling panicked. Hiding your body with baggy clothes was one thing, but having him always trying to grab you and hold you? God, it was like he'd find out, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was dating a plus-size woman. And you didn't want that.

"Y/N, calm down. I was joking. Plus, I lift more than that at the gym-" You cut him off.

"I don't care! Don't do that again!" You say and huff before storming away, leaving your boyfriend upset and hurt in the kitchen.

Wednesday:

"What are you looking at?" You scrunch your nose as Jungkook gets comfy on the end of your bed, watching you as you read your chapter for the night.

"Just... Watching my beautiful, smart girlfriend read." He chuckles softly and you shift at that.

"Don't be weird." You mutter as you go back to reading.

You had this theory going. See, if you let yourself fall for Jungkook and all his sweet words, you'll only feel stupid when he finally comes to his senses and leaves you. So, acting cold and nonchalant? At least you could act like you don't care when he breaks up with you. And what's better is he'll never get the satisfaction of knowing he hurt you! It was the perfect plan!

"Why do you do that? Just take the compliment..." He sighs and you look up from your book at face him and breathe deeply. You knew you didn't have much time with him left. He only had this week off, hence why he wanted to come out publicly with you this week...

"No." You say finally and shut your book. He sighs and moves closer to you, gently touching your thigh and you grab his hand. "Night, Jungkook." You say simply and he sighs.

Thursday:

"Hey, baby. Good work out today?" You ask gently as Jungkook comes bouncing into your apartment.

"Yeah! It was great. You should come with me next time to-" You cut him off.

"I like working out alone." You state fast. Last thing you wanted was for your, very toned, boyfriend to watch you run on a treadmill for an entire hour.

"Well, I just thought-" You cut him off again.

"I like my privacy." You say and walk past him to go to your room.

"Y/N... Come on, I... I just think It'll be cool for you to watch me!" He tries as you shut the bedroom door. He groans and rubs his still sweaty face. He sighs and shakes his head. "Ok. I'll cook dinner tonight?" He calls with no response. "Ok. Got it..." He mutters and shakes his head.

Friday:

"Oh! Here." Jungkook says as he tries pouring more noodles into your bowl and you're fast to pull it away.

"No! I'm good." You assure fast as you shake your head.

"But you only had a little bit." He argues gently as he tries again.

"No, Jungkook. It's not like I need the extra food." You snort, trying to make light of your appearance. He frowns.

"What does that mean? Food is food." He says and you hum at that. "Y/N, I don't like when you-" You cut him off.

"Tell the truth?" You raise an eyebrow. "Jungkook, you look fucking amazing. That's a given." You state. "I don't, and that's just as obvious." You shrug.

"Y/N!" He says just as offended as he'd be if you were to make fun of him. "What's been going on with you this week? Ever since I brought up going public with you, you've been-" You cut him off again.

"A bitch?" You ask. You couldn't explain the attitude change. Maybe a part of you was hoping to tire Jungkook out enough for him to leave you? Maybe you were hoping to spend this whole week picking fights with him so you wouldn't have to go public with him? And then he'd go back to Korea and you two could go back to skype calls and long text messages instead.

"No! Y/N, stop." He says, shaking his head. "You're fucking perfect the way you are. I love you. Stop acting so... Cold." He says and you watch him closely and feel your heart clench at the fear of letting yourself believe him. You couldn't.

"I'm gonna go wash dishes." You state and get up, walking off.

Saturday:

"No. No this is all wrong." You sigh as you eye yourself in the mirror.

"I think you look sexy." Jungkook smirks as he comes around to grab you from behind as your eyes stay glued to your stomach area that you could see through the tight black dress you had on.

"No. You can see... Everything. And it's so... tight." You pout a bit as you feel the cool metal of Jungkook's lip ring trail along your neck.

"So? We're going out to a bar. You look good." He encourages as he trails his lips towards your pulse point.

You feel the anxiety building up as you think about tonight. Going public, what that means for you both. The 'what if's pile on as you stand there.

What if he gets bored of you?

What if you guys don't last?

What if you get hurt?

What if it becomes clear to everyone that he can do so much better?

You couldn't do this...

You liked your relationship over the phone. Where it was safe. Where he was where he was, and you were where you were. Where he only saw what you wanted him to see. Where you could hide from him. It's always easier to love from afar. You get to use your imagination for the rest and fantasy is always better than reality.

You were spiraling again...

Just fucking great.

"No. I'm not doing this. I can't." You say finally and pull away. "I look horrible, I'm not going out like this." You state as you try moving away from Jungkook, only to be yanked back.

"Y/N, enough." He says and you move away from him.

"No! 'Enough' yourself! I'm not going!" You huff and turn to go to the closet. "My fat ass is sitting hom-" You're finally cut off by Jungkook.

"Stop talking about yourself like that, god damnit!" He finally snaps and you pause, never hearing that tone from him before.

"I am sick of you acting like this. You're so fucking sexy, and you wanna walk around like you're not? You're driving me fucking crazy. Come here." He orders as he pulls you right against him.

"Jungkook-" He cuts you off again.

"I don't wanna hear you anymore." He orders. "Do I make myself clear?" He asks firmly as he grabs your neck to make you look up at him. You feel your face heat up and you can only nod. You feel his strong arms wrap firmly around your waist before he lifts you up. You want to stop him, you want to warn him about your weight, but you can't speak as he takes you to the bed and tosses you back on the bed.

He grips your thighs. "So fucking sexy. I love your thighs and ass." He pants and turns you on to your stomach fast. You're stunned by the strength. "And all you wanna do is talk shit about the body I love..." He growls and smacks your ass cheek, groaning. "Fuck, I love watching it jiggle." He groans and you moan at the sting.

You feel your dress bunch up at your waist and look back at him as best as you can as he smacks your ass again. "Fuck, baby..." He whispers and grabs your hand, pulling it to his crutch.

"You feel how hard you get me? Hm? And you still think you're not perfect? Please." He scoffs as you shiver at the feel of his bulge under your hand. You can't help but open your legs more in anticipation.

He moves away from you and lays back on the bed. "Come here." He orders and you open your mouth, but he grabs your face. "Did I fucking say talk? Hm?" He whispers as he shakes your head for you as you moan out a soft 'no', loving how he controlled your body.

"No. I didn't. Shut the fuck up. And get on my fucking face." He orders and your eyes widen, but you move on top of him, mindful of your weight still.

You hover over his face, and he grips your hips. "I said sit." He whispers.

"Jungkook, I don't wanna-" He cuts you off.

"Why do you think I work out every day? Hm? I can handle you, Y/N. I want you smothering me." He orders and you blush hard.

"Jungkook... I... J-Just... Tap out if it gets too much..." You whisper and he snorts at that.

"I'm a man, Y/N. Tapping out is for wusses." He states.

"You say that till you pass out." You mutter, trying to joke too. He looks you right in the eyes.

"It'll be the best way to go. Now sit." He orders and you bite your lip, but slowly lower yourself on to his face more.

"Watch yourself. In the mirror. Watch how sexy you are..." He whispers against your underwear covered pussy. You nod and slowly look up at the mirror as you feel his mouth move between your pussy lips. You gasp softly and run your fingers through his hair as he teases your clit through your underwear and leaves bite marks along your inner thighs.

Soon, your underwear is pushed to the side as he focuses on sucking and licking your clit. You try and keep your eyes open, but you're a moaning mess as you feel him work his tongue deeper between your folds.

"Ah... Ah... Oh, baby!" You moan and feel his tongue wiggle towards your entrance, slowly sliding into you. His arms wrap around your thighs, and he pulls you harder against him. You can feel his nose on your clit and his tongue moving deeper inside of you, and it's as if he's smothering himself in your pussy.

Looking in the mirror by your bed, you can see your hair a mess, your dress bunched up around your waist, and Jungkook's hand undoing his belt as he lays under you.

You groan at the sight of him using one hand to pull out his cock that's already hard. He strokes it as he focuses on eating you out.

"Oh, baby!" You practically purr, never feeling so... desired before.

He moans deeply into your pussy, and you can't help but rock your hips against his face, gripping his hair more tightly. "So good! It's so good! Baby!" You moan as your head rolls back a bit. You can't lift yourself up from his face even if you wanted to. His tatted and solid arm was still wrapped tightly around your thigh to hold you on his face like an oxygen mask. Oh, the irony...

"I'm gonna cum!" You moan out loudly, unable to stop yourself. God, you loved feeling manhandled like this.

Hearing your moans and cries, Jungkook grips your hips with both hands, moving you more so you're riding his tongue and grinding against his nose, making a mess on his face. "Oh... My god, yes..." You whine as you feel it building effortlessly. You needed this release. And all at once, it hits you.

"Jungkook!" You call out as you cum hard on his face. He doesn't stop though. You squeak at the constant rubbing on your now sensitive clit and fall back on to the bed to lessen the pressure on your bundle of nerves, but Jungkook doesn't let go of your hips, and instead moves to lay on his stomach, still eating you out.

"Oh my god! Baby! T-Too... Too much!" You pant as your back aches at the aftershock.

"Mm... so fucking sweet..." He mumbles against your clit between heavy pants, your juices covering his face like a freakin face mask. It makes you blush as he kisses up your body. "Get on your stomach. Face the mirror." He orders.

"I get it, you like my body-" He cuts you off.

"Too late for that. I want it drilled into you." He says and forces you into that position.

You blush hard and try covering your face, but he's quick to smack your ass hard. "Look. Look at how pretty you get when I slide in." He pants in your ear, and you shiver and look in the mirror.

You gasp shakily as you feel him start to slide in. "Atta girl. Stay just like that..." He praises breathlessly and reaches around to hold your neck as he fucks you slow and deep. His hand moves to your chin and pulls your head back so you can look up at him.

"You like to overthink? Hm?" He whispers and you blush but nod, admitting to being so trapped in your own mind. "It's ok, baby. I'll just fuck your brains out." He assures quietly against your forehead in an innocent and comforting tone before he kisses your forehead.

You can't help but hum excitedly and feel his thick cock slide out of you slowly. He moans lowly as your walls clench around him. "Fuck, baby. Don't wanna let me go?" He taunts and you giggle breathlessly.

"Fuck no. You feel too good..." You shiver and he smacks your ass.

"Yeah? Beg." He whispers and you moan softly as he slowly slides back into you.

"Please. Please, I-I don't wanna think more. Fuck me. Fuck me, please, bab-" You're cut off by him grabbing your hair hard and making you look at the mirror.

"Look at you. You see how fucking pretty you are? Hm? Did I get it through your thick fucking skull yet?" He whispers in your ear before slamming into you deeply, which makes you scream out in pleasure.

"Yes! Yes! Yes, baby. Yes!" You call out as he starts fucking you roughly.

"Say sorry for being so mean." He growls in your ear as he pounds you relentlessly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, baby..." You whine, eyes rolling back as he starts hitting your spot. "Right! There! Oh my god!" You scream out as he keeps going, no desire to stop just yet, smirking at how he had turned you into a moaning mess.

"Fuck me back, baby. Let me watch that ass jiggle." He orders as he grabs your waist to pull your ass up. You shiver and start to fuck yourself on his thick cock as he smacks your now red ass cheek.

"Fuck yes. Bounce that ass on me, baby." He groans as you watch through the mirror as he watches your body in awe. He really did love you...

You feel your heart skip a beat. He did find you attractive. He did want you. And you had him wrapped around your finger with such ease. You'd spent all this time treating him wrong, to what cost? He was still here. He still wanted you. Who were you to get in his way?

"Kiss me." You shiver and he does just that, kissing you sloppily as your bodies move freely...

Sunday:

"Congratulations, you two! Beautiful couple, really." The paparazzi calls out as he snaps more photos of you as you hold Jungkook's hand tighter while being led out of the coffee shop you'd just finished having brunch at. You both smile sheepishly at the attention and say nothing, deciding that a statement wasn't needed...

You get in the back of the car first so Jungkook would have some time with his fans, to wave at them and such. You see different girls screaming to him about how much they love him and for a second you feel a tug to your heart. An ugly 'what if' trying to rear its ugly head. But instead, you just watch the man who had made love to you all night long last night and feel your breath return to normal.

You had nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to worry about. Because you had a man who could handle all of you just fine.

And you could handle him too...

#bts #bts army #bts fic #bts imagine #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut

[lvrdrafts]

Hi, could you please write a happier ending for it is just a joke, cause that was so sad

Joke Taken Too Far

★ Summary: You hear Bucky compare you to Natasha and it makes you question if Bucky ever really loved you, but can Bucky fix what he has done before it is too late

★ Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

★ Warnings: Being compared

★ A/N: FUNNY ENOUGH UR NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS LOL

★ Word Count: 2,000+

★ Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Angst Version

GIF by tfatwsdaily

You had a past filled with heartbreak, as you had encountered one boyfriend after another who cheated on you, citing your looks as the reason for their breakup or abusing you physically. Your self-esteem suffered immensely, leaving you feeling unworthy of love and affection.

However, everything changed when you became an Avenger and met Bucky Barnes, the man who made you feel cherished and appreciated in ways you had never experienced before. You were still going to therapy from the trauma they left you but Bucky helped you get through it and you depression even if he didn't know that.

Your shared experiences as Avengers brought you two closer together. Bucky understood the pain you had endured, and you connected on a deep level. He saw the beauty within you, which went far beyond your physical appearance. Your love grew strong, and you became inseparable.

One day, you happened to overhear Bucky talking to Steve and you wanted to surprise him with an attack full of kisses but you stopped in your tracks as you heard Bucky say, "Steve, you've seen Natasha's body, right? She's incredible. I sometimes wish she was my girlfriend."

“I know I see you staring at her all the time," Steve says chuckling "You really should stop staring before you make it obvious, you are dating someone punk”

Your heart shattered into pieces as you felt the old wounds of insecurity resurface. You couldn't bear to hear the man you loved longing for someone else, especially someone as stunning as Natasha.

"I care about her a lot, Steve, but sometimes I can't help but think about Natasha and how much better it would be with her," Bucky says and you felt as if your heart is being ripped out.

Steve frowned, sensing where this was going. "Bucky, you know it's not fair to compare Y/N to Natasha or anyone else? Everyone's different."

“Y/N’s pretty I know but she just doesn’t compare to Nat,” that was all it took for your heart to completely obliterate into a trillion pieces. You were no longer the only one that thought you were nothing compared to her. You didn't want Bucky to leave you for someone else, you didn't want him to leave you like how they all did.

In the solitude of your room, tears streamed down your face as the weight of Bucky's words crushed your spirit. All the progress you had made in feeling loved and cherished was unraveling before your eyes. The old wounds of heartbreak and insecurity resurfaced with a vengeance, enveloping you in suffocating darkness.

Questions plagued your mind. Were you not enough for Bucky? Would he eventually leave you for Natasha or someone else? Did he only settle for you because he couldn't have her? The demons of self-doubt tormented you, and you felt utterly inadequate, unable to compete with the image of perfection you held in your mind of Natasha.



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You couldn't bear seeing Bucky, it felt as if you were gonna burst into tears every time you saw him. You tried avoiding him as best as you could for a few weeks but being in the same building together 24/7 was harder than you expected.

Each time he tried to reach out or spend time with you, you made excuses, declining his invitations and pushing him away.

"Bucky, I'm really busy right now," you replied one day when he asked if you wanted to grab a coffee. "Maybe some other time."

His face fell, but he tried to hide his disappointment. "Sure, Y/N," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "Just let me know when you're free."

In an attempt to bridge the growing distance, Bucky decided to reach out to you. "Hey, baby want to hang out later? Maybe we can grab a bite or train together?" Bucky says with a huge grin.

"Sorry, Bucky, I have a lot of work to catch up on. Rain check?" you say making up another excuse to be away from him.

He sighed, knowing he couldn't push you. "Sure, no problem. Just let me know when you're free," he replied, trying to hide his disappointment.

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Over the next few days, he tried again, asking if you wanted to join him for a movie night or go for a walk, but each time, you declined, always with an excuse. He couldn't help but feel like you were purposely keeping your distance, and it hurt more than he wanted to admit.

One evening, Bucky found you in the common area, sitting by yourself and looking lost in thought. He decided that enough was enough; he needed answers.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he said, approaching you cautiously.

You sighed, knowing this conversation was inevitable. "Sure," you replied, trying to keep your emotions in check.

Bucky hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I've noticed that you've been avoiding me," he began cautiously. "Is there something wrong? Did I do something?"

You looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "It's just... things have been a bit busy lately," you said, your voice lacking conviction.

Bucky frowned, sensing that you were holding something back. "Y/N, please, I can tell something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."

He reached out to touch your hand, but you pulled away, and he felt the rejection like a physical blow. "I get that, Y/N, but it feels like you're shutting me out completely," he said, his voice tinged with hurt. "I thought we were in this together, no matter what."

You took a deep breath, knowing that it was time to address the elephant in the room. You didn't want to bear the pain anymore "I overheard you, Bucky," you admitted, your voice wavering. "You were talking to Steve, and you said... you said I wasn't as pretty as Natasha."

Bucky's face paled, and he looked like he had been punched in the gut. "Y/N, I..." he stammered, searching for the right words.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart," he said. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize, unable to confront his own emotions.

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny" you snapped back at Bucky. "Do you see me laughing?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd take it so seriously, and it was a private conversation," he said, trying to justify himself.

"You were in the fucking common room a public area and maybe you should think before you speak" you shot back, feeling the tension escalating.

As the argument continued, the pain and hurt seemed to escalate, and both you and Bucky were on the verge of tears. But amidst the tension and hurtful words, Bucky suddenly stopped and took a deep breath.

"Y/N, I messed up," he said, his voice filled with regret. "I shouldn't have said those things."

You looked at him, tears streaming down your face. "But why did you say them, Bucky?" you asked, your voice still trembling with emotion.

"At the moment, I don't know, talking shit about you made me feel better about myself," Bucky says. Bucky took a step closer to you, gently reaching out to cup your face in his hands.

"I don't have any excuse for what I said," he said, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I was being selfish I know but you make me a better person and after all the shit I have done I don't deserve to be happy!" Bucky yelled and his eyes widened, he stepped back realizing what he had said. He had never told anyone this before, he tried keeping the demons all for himself.

Your heart sank as you listened to him. You had no idea that Bucky had been struggling with such deep-seated insecurities. You reached out and gently held his hand, trying to convey that you were there for him.

"Bucky, you're not a monster anymore," you said softly. "You're a good person, and you've been through so much. But you don't need to tear someone else down to feel better about yourself. What you said did not make you a monster, it made you an asshole"

"I-I really am sorry, please don't leave me I will change I will do anything," Bucky says as his eyes were filled with tears as he looked up at you, his voice breaking with emotion.

But you were too hurt, too broken, to respond. You turned away from him, unable to bear the sight of him in such pain. The silence in the room was deafening, and you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on both of you.

"I thought we had something special, Y/N before I fucked up," Bucky said, his voice desperate. "I love you more than anything, and I messed up, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. Please, just give me another chance." Bucky's pleas fell on deaf ears, and you couldn't bear to see him on his knees, begging for forgiveness.

Your heart ached at his words, but you couldn't ignore the pain he had caused you. "I need time, Bucky," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need time to process all of this."

Bucky nodded, his tears flowing freely now. "I'll give you all the time you need," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "But please, don't shut me out completely. I'll be here when you're ready."

With that, Bucky slowly got up from his knees and walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart torn between love and pain.

In the days that followed, Bucky gave you the space you needed, but he also made sure to show you how much he cared. He would leave little notes for you, reminding you of the good times you shared and how much he loved you. He would send you flowers and gifts, trying to show you that he was truly sorry for his actions.

But no matter what he did, you couldn't shake off the pain and betrayal you felt. Every time you saw him, you were reminded of his hurtful words, and it made it hard for you to see the man you had fallen in love with.

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Weeks passed, and despite Bucky's efforts, the pain between you remained palpable. You were still hurting, unable to let go of the hurtful words he had spoken. The team had noticed the tension between you, and everyone was hoping for a resolution.

One day, a mission came up that required you and Bucky to work closely together. It involved infiltrating a highly guarded facility run by a dangerous organization. The stakes were high, and the success of the mission depended on your teamwork.

You both suited up in your tactical gear, preparing for the intense mission ahead. As the two of you boarded the Quinjet, you tried to maintain a professional demeanor, despite the lingering emotions.

Once inside the facility, things got intense quickly. The enemy was not easy to subdue, and you found yourself in a tight spot, surrounded by hostile forces. In a moment of desperation, you got separated from the rest of the team.

Bucky's heart pounded in his chest as he realized the danger you were in. Without a second thought, he put himself in harm's way, using his skills and combat expertise to fight through the enemies and reach you.

You were cornered, and just when it seemed like there was no way out, you heard a familiar sound – the whirring of Bucky's metal arm. In an instant, he swooped in, taking out the threats with swift precision. But in the midst of the fighting, a sniper had tried to get a clean shot on you but Bucky saw it coming and pushed you aside taking the shot instead.

"Bucky," you gasped, you quickly threw a smoke bomb giving you time to escape while holding Bucky over you. As the smoke filled the air, you grabbed Bucky and pulled him towards the exit. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you tried to get both of you to safety.

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Once you were back on the Quinjet, you laid Bucky down gently, fear and concern evident in your eyes."Bucky, why did you do that?" you yelled at him, your voice trembling with emotion. "You could have been killed!"

He winced in pain but managed to give you a weak smile. "I couldn't let anything happen to you," he replied, his voice strained. "I love you, and I would do anything to protect you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the sincerity in his words. Despite the hurt between you, he still cared about you deeply and was willing to put his life on the line for you.

"Bucky, I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "But, you didn't have to do that," you said, your voice wavering.

He looked at you, his eyes full of affection. "I would do it again in a heartbeat," he replied, his voice filled with emotion.

The tension between you seemed to melt away in that moment, replaced by a deep sense of connection and love. You realized that despite the mistakes and pain, Bucky loved you with all his heart, and you couldn't deny your own feelings for him.

"I love you, Y/N," Bucky said, his voice steady and genuine. "I know I messed up, and I'm sorry for hurting you. But you mean everything to me, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you finally let go of the pain and fear that had been holding you back. You knew deep down that you still loved Bucky, and you couldn't deny the pull between you.

"I love you too, Bucky," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion.

Bucky pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. "I promise I'll never hurt you like that again," he said, his voice sincere. "You're the most important person in my life, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."

As the Quinjet soared through the sky, you both knew that there were still challenges ahead. Healing would take time, and you would have to work through the pain together. But for now, in each other's arms, you found solace and comfort.

#bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst #bucky compares you to natasha

[reallyromealone]

Vampire knight x male reader

So context

Reader has no like relationship with the other vampires

Yuuki is just human

And I removed all the incest shit from it

I'm rewriting my teenage fic series and making it make sense and not cringe lol

🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷

(name)s memories were always hazy, like it was just beyond a curtain.

(Name) looked confused as he stood in a courtyard, he was just with Ichigo walking to class... How did he get here?

Crouching (name) pulled out (candy) from his pocket and began snacking on it, He was told if he got separated to just wait till he was collected by the others. (Name) never really ventured around the school, often he stuck close to the others as they herded him away from anything they deemed unworthy. (Name) was curious as he glanced around his surroundings and took in the landscape before wandering to a fountain and remembered a human thing Senri taught him and pulled a coin from his pocket and chucked it in said fountain.

Now what?

(Name) stared at the fountain confused as he waited for something to happen but nothing did.

Dang he wished something did happen, humans were weird.

"There you are!" (Name) perked up and saw Aido said happily as Kain followed behind "you know Lord Kaname doesn't want you wandering" Aido said fondly, the sleepy omega clinging to Kain for warmth and Aido playfully pouted as they returned back to the others who looked relived at (name)s return "you worried us" Kaname chastised softly to the other who just stared off "we warned you it's not good to wander off, what if something happened?" (Name) just fidgeted slightly and Kaname sighed "if it happens again you will be punished" not like how he would Aido, the blond alpha usually doing things he very much shouldn't be doing and causing problems for others.

No, (name) was actually the least of Kaname worries in that aspect and usually his punishments were taking away things like his snacks and such, nothing crazy serious but (name) usually sulked about it.

(Name) pouted but let Kaname lead him away, the brunette Alpha keeping a hand on (name)s back as they went to class.

Omegas were extremely far in-between, male omegas were a rarity like no other and even more so amongst vampires, a male Omega vampire had a special ability; their pups would always be pure bloods no matter what.

Though there wasn't enough male omegas in the vampire community to test the theory, (name) was the first in many generations and he wasn't exactly Dam materials Ruka noted to herself as (name) passed out infront of his work.

She couldn't blame him though, they didn't need to be here but Lord Kaname wanted a better relationship with humans so they had to be. Lord Kaname was always protective of (name), keeping him close.

The night class tended to (name) as they would lord Kaname though the Omega didn't seem to notice, more interested in sleep and occasionally sneaking into their rooms because the Omega wanted contact.

(Name) sat beside Aido and Kain during the rest of class as the two blonds kept the sleepy vampire awake in hopes he would retain some information.

"You can nap when we return to the dorms" Kain said to (name) who pouted but tried to pay attention to the class but was not succeeding in the slightest.

Kaname smiled softly at (name) who offered him various sweets, an adorable sense of determination to find a suitable snack as Kaname gently declined his treats as class ended, The sound of screaming girls so late-- or early depending on who you asked was shrill and unpleasant to (name); Kaname keeping him close and away from the hands of the day class students.

Yuuki never knew what to do with (name).

Her dad told her about (name), the Omega was found alone with no memories and taken in by Rukas family but he never went into detail on why (name) was so important, smiling at his daughter with a hint of sadness "he gets to choose what he wants in life... I don't think he's gotten that before this"

(Name) perked up as he saw Yuuki, he enjoyed her company as she was often quite kind to the sleepy vampire and even taught him how to knit, the Omega making blankets after that for his nest.

"Hello (name)--Stay back-- how are you?" Yuuki struggled to keep the fans away as the night class kept a v e r y close eye on the Omega who wandered towards her "Shiki is taking me to get treats..." (Name) whispered slowly before looking at the fans "(name) come now, he have to get to the dorms" Ichigo called out and (name) bid Yuuki goodbye before wandering back to the others.

Though he didn't get far.

A day student reached out and grabbed (name), pulling hard enough to rip his uniform and then hell nearly broke loose.

(Name) was pushed behind Kain and checked on by the other night students as a gun fired, Zero finally making his appearance and glaring down the startled day students "you all have somewhere to be, so fucking get to it or I swear to god I'm going to make your lives miserable" zero seethed out and the day students went quiet for a moment before complaining to the white haired teen.

(Name)s vision was blurry, he vaguely remembers getting lifted before things faded out.

(Name) woke in his bed, soft blankets and familiar scents as he slowly sat up and stretched as Kaname entered the room, holding a glass filled with red liquid "you haven't been eating, you know you need the strength so close to your heat"

(Name)s room was shrouded in darkness as he had blankets over his shoulders "drink" Kaname instructs the Omega who took the glass "... I lost my pills... Yuuki was going to help me look" (name) whispered as he took a sip, though the liquid tasted closer to cranberry and battery acid his hunger was satisfied even slightly "why didn't you say anything?" Kaname interrogates lightly and (name) shrugged "forgot... I'm sorry..."

Kaname gently traced (name)s cheek and sighed, he couldn't be to mad at (name).

"The sweets you consume won't satiate you, if you lose them again tell me" Kaname said to the Omega be was set on making his mate, (name) nodding and leaned into his touch as he always did.

(Name) craved contact from the others, a sleepy distant expression painting his face.

The 18 year old was so tired, he never knew why though.

"You have tomorrow off, I'll have new pills for you then" Kaname said and gently pushed (name) into bed "sleep" his voice gentle but firm as he left the room, (name) watching him leave before falling asleep.

#male reader #x male reader #vampire knight x reader #vampire knight x male reader #kaname x reader #ichigo x reader #aido x reader #zero x reader #im to lazy to add all thse god damn characters

[imtrashraccoon]

A bit of a shorter chapter this time but it works for what I pictured. Yes, those names are slightly referencing my Nightmare x Reader fic that I'm working on lol. Dust is a creepy stalker still, what else is new?

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Dust - Judgement

Word Count: 1,477

Your snow boots were keeping your toes nice and warm as you made your way home from work today. It had snowed the night before and while the sidewalks were mostly clear now, there were a few snow drifts from the street plows here and there. It made the gray city slightly more pretty in your opinion, even if it also made walking more treacherous.

"Hey! Is that you, ...?"

You looked up when you heard your name to find four women approaching you. You instantly recognized them as several of the girls that went to the same high school you did, although you only vaguely remembered each of their names. Cathie...? Rebecca? Marcy? You couldn't seem remember the fourth girl's name though. They looked like they were dressed to the nines as if they were going out on the town after work - even their snow gear was cute.

With a sigh, you greeted them and tried to act pleasant. Truthfully, you didn't have good memories of any of your previous interactions with these women. They'd all been "best friends" and always sat together in class or at lunch. Anyone who didn't fit into their little click, for whatever reason, was unworthy to be friends with them. To top it off, they were all gossips and you had been just one of their many targets back then.

"It's been so long, hasn't it?"

"You haven't changed a bit... Well, that's a lie, you've gained weight apparently."

"Are you seriously wearing the same coat from senior year?"

"I heard you work at that corporate office down the street. Didn't you want to go to college to be a psychologist or something?"

You hadn't even managed to get a word out, other than a simple hello, before they predictably started in on you, specifically pointing out things you couldn't change. So what if you'd gained some weight? You'd been borderline anorexic during high school for crying out loud! And what was wrong with wearing the same clothes for years if they still fit and were in good shape? New ones were expensive and you just so happened to like your current sense of style!

"You're all as lovely as I remember," you muttered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important places to be than listening to the opinions of trash."

You sidestepped and managed to scoot around the group. Although, it seemed that they weren't content to let you have the last word and as you started to walk away, they followed and threw out some more judgemental comments.

"Wow... You're still as snotty as ever, huh? Grow up!"

"Your face matches your personality!"

"Did another man come to his senses and dump you again?"

"Your mother was right, you know!"

You clenched your fists and forced yourself to keep walking at a brisk pace. They'd lose interest eventually as they always did. If you didn't know better, you'd be tempted to throw a punch or two, but you really didn't need an assault charge on your record.

There was movement up ahead to your left and when you looked up, you were surprised to see none other than Dust stepping out of the alley. He met your eye and silently motioned for you to follow him.

You didn't hesitate and quickly stepped into the alley with him. The bullies were far enough behind that you might be able to give them the slip if you were fast enough. However, your hopes of making a clean getaway were dashed when you realized that the alley was a dead end up ahead.

Before you could ask why he'd brought you here, Dust gripped your right arm tightly and leaned in close to you. "close your eyes for a moment," he hissed.

You knew he wasn't going to bother waiting to see if you did so to execute whatever his plan had been and so you did as you were told. Almost instantly, you felt a numb sensation spread across your body, starting at your extremities, and the usual busy sounds of the city were replaced by a sudden deafening silence. His grip on your arm was far more reassuring than he likely intended it to be though. Then the temperature shifted a second later and you began to feel warm again.

"you can open your eyes now," he muttered and let go of you as he moved away.

Your mouth fell open in shock when you realized where you were. Somehow, you were standing inside your apartment even though you'd been just outside moments prior. The surprise fell away rather quickly when you were hit with the possible implications of what this meant.

You turned to look at Dust, who had decided to make himself at home on your couch. He sunk into the cushions and looked as if he would gladly stay there for an eternity if he could. He hadn't even taken off his shoes which, while irritating, was the least of your worries right now.

"Dust..."

He grunted in acknowledgement and his eyelights briefly flickered to you.

"How'd you know where I lived...?" you asked quietly.

He shrugged and looked away. "lucky guess..." he muttered.

Well that was a lie if you'd ever heard one. You huffed and marched over to him. Crossing your arms and fixing him with your most unimpressed look. "Really?"

He lazily waved you off but didn't seem willing to make eye contact with you now. Abruptly changing the subject, he asked a question of his own. "do those people bother you a lot?" he asked in a low voice.

You didn't appreciate how he'd brushed off your question like that and just continued staring at him for a few moments. When he didn't back down though, you reluctantly decided to revisit this issue at a future time.

"No? I haven't spoken to any of them in years..." you answered with a sigh.

He nodded slowly and you could almost see the gears turning in his head as he mulled through whatever was on his mind.

"people like that deserve what's coming to them."

You really didn't like how hollow his voice sounded when he said that or the way his posture tensed up either. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was talking as if he were an arbitrator of Karma herself.

"Hey, uh...not to sound presumptuous... But, can you please not go out and threaten or kill people on my behalf?" you asked slowly.

"...what?" He gave you a look that could best be described as perplexed. "why...would you think that...? i...don't care about you that much..." he muttered, quickly tugging his hood tighter over his skull and looking down at the floor.

You stared at him for a solid five seconds with a mildly amused smile playing at the corners of your lips. What was that reaction? You'd expected him to brush you off again or even outright deny that he'd stoop to that level.

"Question... Is stalking me like the way you have been for...however long you have, your way of figuring me out?" You planted your hands on your hips and raised an eyebrow in a skeptical way.

He looked up at you blankly but didn't answer. The longer you stared at him, the more you realized that, yes, that was exactly what he'd been doing.

Okay, he was definitely creepy. While you were grateful that he'd decided to step in and get you out of that situation earlier, you really didn't like that he'd continued stalking you after confronting you for the first time. What was his goal anyways? You were basically harmless as far as humans went.

Steepling your fingers together, you took a deep breath and made eye contact with him again. "Might I suggest a more appropriate method? Like actually hanging around and talking, like adults, so we can properly get to know each other?"

Dust said nothing once again and just stared back at you sullenly. You couldn't tell if he was offended that you'd even suggested such a wild idea or if he just thought it was dumb. You didn't know a thing about him really, but you knew he wasn't exactly all there and he may not even see anything wrong with what he had been doing in the first place.

You finally gave up on the staring contest and had to look away. "Fine, whatever... I don't have the mental energy to care what you do at this point."

You started to walk into the kitchen but decided you could at least try to be a good host if he was going to make himself comfy on your couch. "Did you want something to drink or...?" But, by the time you looked back, he'd completely disappeared.

Damn it... What is with him and being all mysterious?

#badsansuary #raccoons drabbles #undertale #dusttale #dust sans #dust sans x reader #reader #female reader #have some empathy dear #oneshot

[emblazons]

you've been writing a lot about parentified Mike lately, and while I appreciate it, from a story perspective I just don't understand why.

Maybe its just because I'm an elmike truther, but it really doesn't make sense to me why they would put such an unpleasant aspect into their friendship or romance when they could have just had her upset at him over Max's death or not sharing interests? With steve and nancy they broke up over barb and nancy wanting something else which made of sense without making steve "parent" her. idk. Maybe you're the wrong person to ask lol I'm just thinking out loud

I mean. Maybe I'm not the best person to give insight into why the duffers do what they do, but I can give why I think they did it?

Forewarning: this got really long, apologies lmao

Honestly (and take this from an out-of-universe perspective): I think they're fully aware of the strangeness of El as a character, and how she has a lot of narrative/personal "growth needs" that other characters don't just by nature of her background. She even from the pitch is referred to as "the outsider," and all of her arc, not just the romantic one, has been centered around finding a 'home' in the world, on top of finding the family she lacked before.

This, I'm almost certain, is why she always ends up on different paths than every other person she interacts with—she started with almost no sense of self as an individual, which means a sense of "self" has to be built and discovered (and remembered) for El in a way it already has been for our other characters. Max, Mike, Will, Dustin, Lucas—all of them have interests and desires, a sense of family (good or bad), know what they enjoy, and are evolving as they go along...but El didn't at the start of ST beyond lab trauma, which is why The Duffers have centered almost all of her character growth since then around discovering where she came from & who she wants to be.

With Mike though...there is an entirely different set of relational and character needs that have to be addressed. With Mike, the main struggles he has (from the pitch, again) are with insecurity, his belief that a girl will resolve that insecurity, his feeling valueless unless he can do something for the people he loves (almost like 'earning his place' in their lives) and his (almost certain) queerness...combined with how he is, at the end of the day, just another "everyman" guy.

Unlike El, Mike has some sense of personhood, his own established friends and interests and a home—but he doesn't feel like he has a place he's intrinsically appreciated, because (for whatever reason) he feels who he is inherently inadequate. Its why every season (and every time we hear Finn dig a little into Mike's character) we hear about Mike trying to serve others and "feel needed again," despite being hesitant to let them in—he desires unconditional acceptance, and to be valued for who he is inherently...while also being terrified to let people in enough to see him (lest his core identity be rejected).

When Mike and El were just friends, it was easier to sort them out as some version of "equals;" we all have friends who are in different life phases than us, or who have different needs we're trying to walk alongside as they try to meet them, which is why their friendship is cute in S1. With actual romantic partners though, we introduce an element of "trying to get your needs met" with the person you're most closely involved with...and for Mike and El, that means blending "a nebulous sense of self and desire to find an identity + family" with "a desire to have a girl fill a sense of inherent unworthiness," which, as most of us can see, leads to disaster.

Basically: From the snowball onward, writing romantic mlvn meant exploring what happens when you mix what El is looking for with what Mike tries to do to feel valued...and The Duffers have decided (rightfully, I think) that this means Mike is going to (consciously or not) move towards becoming the things El lacks to "become valuable," aka: protection from the "bad men," someone who is able to keep her safe from them, and...someone who can help her fill her needs for home + family, even though he is dramatically under-equipped at all of 12-15 to meet that task.

Because (especially s4) one of El's core needs has become a healthy father figure and found family, Mike is going to move toward behaving that way to be valuable...which means he's going to inadvertently conflate himself with the men who have also placed themselves in that role: Hopper and Brenner. It also means that Mike is going to feel that same "my child is leaving the nest" energy when El "grows up" and into herself as a wholly independent entity—which is why we see him say as much to Will in the van before the painting—

—and why it sometimes seems like El is almost "rebelling" against Mike as much as she has Hopper and Brenner over the seasons.

To your point though: all of this is inherently different from Steve and Nancy...because both Steve and Nancy had that sense of individual identity that El lacked at the start of the show. There was no space for a "parental" aspect to enter their romance in that sense—it was just two people who were incompatible, which is why they failed. Similarly, if Mike and El would have started the romantic part of their relationship at end of S4 points of the narrative—or even end of S3, after El had a second to come into her own with Max—things would have been a lot different for them, I think.

Only...that's not what happened, and...not how they're resolving Mike's insecurity about being inherently valuable. They broke Mike and El down romantically vis a vis this "she's looking for herself and he's trying to fill his own void with her" track, and then gave Will the entirety of the hand to soothe Mike's deepest fears instead, which is why Mike and El will break up and Mike will end up with and around Will more, because Will knows Mike’s heart and sees Mike as an equal even with his flaws...and loves him for it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

(There are also (in my opinion) fundamental thematic reasons they were working toward as reason why they wrote even the breakdown of mlvn that way (the themes of rejecting forced conformity, found family, and even embracing your love for things other people might think are childish are served by this "version" of the Mlvn to Byler transition) but. I can see why someone wouldn't like it if they were attached to Mike and El being close anyway lmao).

Anyway! I hope...that helps? Honestly that's just how I've come to understand it, and hope that offers some sort of solace or explanation. Its what makes the most sense to me anyway (lol).

Regardless, thanks for the ask! :)

#anti mlvn #elmike #stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #el hopper #st analysis #my st commentary #st writing #asks #the me tag #duffer brothers #the come back tag

[creamyychann]

Geto spiraling but finds comfort in his little sister

Literally, she lets oniichan take her virginity (eventho it hurts at first) bc he's been so sad and he loves her too much to refuse and realized she's the only human he couldn't hate 🥺🥺🥺💗

Also, you should write more geto fics ngl 🤔

Sure lol, I've gotten many Geto request recently lol

Finally, a soft request lmao, I keep getting dark request but hey, that's the point of my whole tumblr acc lmao

May or may not be bad cuz I'm making this while I was doing some stupid project (idk if that's the right word in English but fuck it)

Taglist: @getoparadise

Everyone is 18+

Tags: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, INCEST, mention of blood.

MINORS DNI

Don't like it? DON'T READ IT!

You've been warned.

Read at your own risk.

Geto comes home & immediately goes for the couch. He let out a heavy sigh which catch your attention. Walking over, you saw Geto sitting on the couch head slumped backwards with one hand covering his eyes. "What's wrong Nii-san? " you said as you sat down. Geto lift his hand off to see you besides him with concern on your eyes. He pats his lap indicating you to sit on his lap. You without question sat on his lap facing him, that's when he suddenly hugs you. "Just a very rough day, fucking monkeys making me angry... " He vents a bit with such harsh tone. Rubbing his back, you let him touches you as he bury his head to your shoulder. You think for a second, 'what should I do to make him feel better... ' then you got an idea. You slowly rocks back & forth against his crotch. Geto tense up, but enjoys the feeling, but he has to hold back his horniness cuz of you.

◠

It's not like he never thought of fucking you, he always want to, but you're just to precious to be ruined, so he just keep it to himself then let out his frustration to those unworthy monkeys. He just can't hate you honestly, the one & only human he actually can't hate, too precious & pretty to hate.

◠

He pulls you away when you start to get too intimate. You pouts "Nii-san! I want you to feel better! I heard that sex makes people feel better! So please let me have sex with you! Take away my virginity! " your foul words strucks him so hard. He can't say no with those cute pleadings right?

◠

Squelching sounds echos through the walls while the room filled with moans & grunts. There's some blood on the floor but it's all covered with dripping cums. Your hands grips the living room tables so hard your knuckles becomes white. You're panting like a dog in heat while Geto ruthlessly slams into you. He tried to be gentle with you, tried. But your cries makes it hard to control himself & he just gave up & goes ballistic towards you. You're mind filled with nothing but pleasure & cum, he want more, MORE, & you happily gave him more even if it hurts a bit. He just love you so much & you happily gave your love to him by spreading your legs.

◠

◠

ೋ❀❀ೋ════ ❀ ════ೋ❀❀ೋ

I'm honestly too horny for him, I can't control myself JSKJSKSJAKAKSJKWKS. Sorry if it's too short.

#anime #smut #lemon #anime fanfic #fanfic #your name #yn #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #geto #geto suguru #jjk geto #tw.incest #tw:incest #Ash's Drabble #fem reader #dead dove #dead dove: do not eat

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

Tolerate it

Okay, so hi! I've been debating if I should post this or not for a really long time but I've finally decided to it, anyway, this is my first time writing and actually posting a fic so sorry if it sucks, also english is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I was listening to tolerate it on repeat and wanted to be sad so I made this.

Content Warnings: This is just sad lol, no happy ending, feeling unworthy and like a second choice, mentions of drinking, and overall sadness (If there's something else plese let me know)

Your life hasn't always been easy, a constant sequence of downs and lowers, never having anything worth fighting for. It was hard to just watch life pass you by when you had nothing to look forward to, but you kept pushing despite every adversity, every fall and every challenge, you didn’t even know why you kept going, but there was this involuntary pull to it. That was, until Spencer showed up.

It was just another day at work, giving books recommendations, checking people’s purchases and keeping the store organized. You were in the back when he arrived, too distracted to even hear the bell indicating a new customer, too lost in thoughts to notice the tall man walking among the shelfs, only really seeing him during his check out, finally noticing his messy hair, sparkling eyes and sweet smile.

“This is a really good choice.”

“You think? It’s my first try with this author.” His voice sounded a little insecure and topped with an awkward smile.

“If you want I can help find his best ones” 

“Could you? That would be great actually!”

 It was a simple and a bit awkward first interaction, and even though you thought he was adorable and you wanted nothing more than to get to know him better, you knew that interaction would probably be all you would get. But he came back, almost every Friday at 6pm. With time the conversation got easier and easier, and with every new thing you learned about him you’d find yourself falling more and more for Dr. Spencer Reid, and before you noticed you were going to your first date.

Spencer was like a ray of hope in your tragic play of a life, always making everything better, giving you little notes with the coffee he would bring you almost every morning, calling you when he was away to ask about your day and giving you the love and attention you had never had in your life. It was like you finally found out why you kept going despite everything, why you had never given up, you were meant to find him, to love him. The first two months of your relationship were like a cheesy movie, all those things you mocked about romance novel’s your entire life happening to you and changing the way you saw everything all at once.

❧

When you look back now you think the signs had always been there, you were just too in love to notice them at first.

You were together for seven months when you met the team, of course you had heard everything about them, especially  JJ, everything about JJ. 

You always tried not to let it get to you, she was Spencer's best friend after all, had been for years now, she was the mother of his godson for god’s sake, he would obviously talk about her. It was just the way he did so, so enthusiastically, with so much love and admiration, and ever so often that would make you think that maybe there was something more to it. 

The worst was always when he would find a way to compare the two of you, when you tried to make his favorite dish and he spent hours talking about that was her speciality, the time you told something funny that happened at work and he used it as way to tell what Jennifer had done during a meeting, or even the time you messed up his coffee and he slipped saying JJ would never do something like that, of course he immediately noticed and tried to fix it with a “only because she knows me for so long”. 

You tried not to give in to your paranoia but it was hard, especially right now, when you were sitting in the corner, watching the way he would throw his head back laughing about something she said, the way he would instinctively reach for her while talking, but nothing compared with the way he looked at her, like she was the only one there, like the rest of the world didn’t even existed, you knew that look, it was exactly how you looked at him.

“What are you doing sitting here all by yourself sweet pie?” Penelope’s voice brought you back to reality, forcing you to put a fake smile on your face.

“Just taking a break, gathering up energy you know.”

She sat by your side with drinks and a wide smile, immediately following your eyes to see what had got your attention. 

“They have always been like this you know, it’s just how they are, JJ always had this instinct to take care of everyone around her, and Reid is just, something about him just screams ‘take care of me’ you know.” 

“Oh, I know, he told me everything possible about her.” 

You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, or maybe you did, with the alcohol in your system and all the feeling you had been bottling up there was no way of knowing for sure. 

“So he told you that it didn’t work out right?” Penelope was so involved in trying to make you feel better that she didn't notice the confused look on your face. “I mean, he did liked her, really liked her, but it wasn’t like that for JJ, that’s why their date didn’t worked out.”

Pieces started falling into place in your head, you could see everything coming together, he liked her, probably loved her for the looks of it, he tried to make it work, god he wanted that, you weren’t crazy. Penelope’s face dropped when she realized he hadn’t shared that information with you. 

“Oh honey, no… That’s in the past for b-”

“Do you think maybe it’s still there? For him at least?”

“No, absolutely not, Reid loves you, he really does. I’m sorry, if I knew you had questions about it I would’ve never told you this.” 

It took about fifteen minutes to convince Garcia you were fine, that it wasn’t her fault and listen to all of her reasons of why she knew for sure Spencer loved you. You didn’t know what else to do to calm the sweet woman in front of you, so you did the last thing you wanted, stood up and offered your hand saying you needed to dance the alcohol off your system or something like that. It turned out to be actually a good thing, got you off your head for a while, just having fun with her, Emily and Derek who had joined the two of you, you were able to forget it all until it was time to leave. 

On the way home you decided to ask Spencer about what Penelope has told you, it was the first time you fought, he got all defensive, especially when you confronted him about his feelings, and when you told everything that bothered you about the situation he just brushed it off like it was all in your head. 

When you were in the safety of your home you allowed the tears to fall, because you had your answer, he never said yes, but the extremes he went to deny it couldn’t have been more clear. 

❧     

Things weren’t the same after that, Spencer acted like nothing happened and you tried to do that too, but things were different, there were uncomfortable silences instead of random chats, calls became something rare just like the little love notes you had gotten used to, he rarely invited you to go out with the team and the distance between the two of you was palpable. You knew it wasn’t right and it wasn't how you wanted things to be, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life wondering if the man by your side was thinking of someone else, but you weren’t ready to give up on him yet, even though it hurted to know that he would never love you as much as you loved him.

But he seemed to be really trying and that's why you had agreed to have lunch with him today, he would pick you up at work and take you somewhere he thought you would like, he had it all planned , every second of it, then why was he twenty minutes late? You checked your messages but there was nothing there, you tried to call only to hear his voice mail message, thinking that maybe he was stuck at work, you decided to surprise him by going there with some coffee and donuts. But you were welcomed by an empty desk. 

“Hey pretty girl.” Morgan entered the bullpen with a smiley Penelope by his side. “Looking for Reid?”

“Yeah, we were supposed to have lunch together but he didn't show up.”

They looked at each other trying to communicate without words before turning back to you, Penelope with the most caring and concerned eyes you've ever seen. 

“Where is he?” You knew it wasn’t anything serious otherwise you would’ve known, but by their looks it wasn’t good either. 

“He went out for lunch… With JJ.”  

Morgan’s voice was gentle, almost apologetic, Garcia was saying something but you couldn’t hear, your head spinning while your heart finally broke, leaving you with an empty chest and the most excruciating pain you've ever felt. Thoughts were racing in your mind going from a simple “this isn’t fair” to a painful “what am I supposed to do now”. 

They offered if you wanted to sit and wait, sensing that something was wrong, but you couldn’t, you had to move, walk away from that building, go somewhere you could breathe, why was it so hard to breathe? You needed to be alone, just you and your aching heart, so you choked out an excuse about having to go back to the shop, leaving the coffee with them and almost running to the elevators. 

You wished you had never met him, this isn’t fair,  you wish he never made you fall for him, this isn’t fair, you wish you didn’t love him as much as you did THIS ISN’T FAIR! Tears clouded your vision making it impossible for you to distinguish anyone in front of you, so you only noticed the pair leaving the elevator when you nearly bumped into the blonde woman.

“Hey, it’s everything okay?” JJ’s voice was laced with concern matching her expression when you looked up. This whole thing just kept getting worse by every second.

“Yeah, I-uh…”

“Honey what happened?” 

More tears spilled from your eyes when you heard his voice, the overwhelming pain multiplying from knowing you had to say goodbye to the sound you had grown so fond of. 

“Please talk to me.” His hands cupped your cheeks trying to get your attention, hazel eyes widened with concern searching your face for an answer. 

“Not here.” 

Your voice was barely a whisper and you had no idea how he managed to hear it, but he nodded and gently took your hand guiding you to an empty room. He was so delicate as if with the smallest touch you could break, he looked at you in such a tender way it made your heart ache more, if only he wasn’t so good and kind to you this would be easy, if he wasn’t so lovable, so… Spencer, this whole thing would’ve been easier. 

You wished you could find a different solution for this, that there were a way to save this sinking ship, but you knew there wasn’t, no matter how hard you tried there was no going back, you deserved to love someone and be loved in the same amount, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life loving for two because you would never be the number one for your partner. It wasn’t fair to yourself. You deserved more.

“We were supposed to have lunch today, remember?” 

His eyes filled with confusion shortly followed by guilty when he realized what had happened, he opened and closed his mouth trying to come up with something to say but you didn’t let him, you couldn’t because he would know all the right things to say like he did in the past months and you wouldn’t be able to end this.

“I can’t I- I tried, so hard, to keep going, to play along and act like nothing was wrong but I can’t do that anymore, I just can’t Spencer.”

Your voice was just as broken as you felt.

“What? What are you talking about? I thought this was about forgetting lunch!” 

“But it wasn't just forgetting lunch! It’s everything Spence! She’s everywhere!” It felt good to finally put your thoughts out, made breathing a bit easier.

“Is this about JJ again? Jesus we talked about this already!”

“No we didn’t! You brushed it off, you always do!”

“I liked her in the past, so what? I had lunch with her today, so what?!” He was exasperated now, running his hands through his hair and his face in distress. 

“Except it wasn’t just lunch Spence! It’s everything, the way you look at her, the way your always around her anywhere, how you compare everything I do to something she d-”

“I don’t do that!”

“Yes you do! And the worst part is that you don’t even notice! There wasn’t a single thing that I’ve done all this time we’ve been together that you simply enjoyed, there was always a comment involving JJ, sometimes it would be just a silly story but sometimes it was more, and god it hurts so much, to see that the person you love don’t love you the same way. I can’t keep going like this, I can’t pretend anymore it hurts too much, I love you Spencer, god knows how much, but I- I just can’t live like this.”

The silence fell heavy between you, he looked desperate with his messed up hair and tears filling his eyes when he finally understood the awful situation you were in. You on the other hand were calm, maybe for the first time in a long time, your heart was broken in a million pieces and you could feel the tears streaming down your face but your head was quiet, there was just this feeling that despite the pain you were doing the right thing, the pain would pass eventually and you would be stronger after, you deserved it, to feel calm and happy and loved, life had been hard for long enough, it was time for the next act, you felt it deep in your soul.

“Yes I love JJ but-” He ran his hand through his hair.

Love not loved. 

‘But it’s in the past’, ‘but I love you more’, ‘but there’s just you now’, ‘But nothing compared to what I feel for you’. Your head filled with possibilities, with things you wanted him to say, if he said any of those, maybe it would be fine, it would make the whole situation less miserable.

“But she’s with Will, and there’s Henry-” 

You stopped listening, only hearing a low buzzing while your heart broke one last time, but at least now it meant there was nothing else to break, no more pain to come. You whipped the tears away and took a deep breath before speaking.

“If it wasn’t for it, if she was free and decided to give the two of you one more chance, would you stay with me?” Your voice was low now, you were too tired.

“She wouldn-"

“Hypothetically.” 

His Silence was all the answer you needed, knowing him he had probably calculated all the possibilities of that happening, you sighed and reached for the doorknob with an exhausted smile. 

“I deserve more than this, my love should be celebrated not just tolerated while you wait for another woman.” You stopped with your hand on the door, looking back at him one last time, your voice stronger now. “I feel bad for you Spence, because my pain won’t last forever, I’ll get over you eventually. But you will be stuck like this, always loving a woman that can’t love you back.” You knew it was a nasty thing to say and really petty of you but you didn’t really care, you wanted to hurt him at least a little bit. “We are the same after all.” 

With that you left, leaving him behind, the pain in your chest would heal one day, it would take time but the wound would close, and that was okay, it was your life after all, you were used to it. You saw him trying to run to the elevator but it was already too late, you stood there giving him a little wave while the doors closed, you knew right there that a part of you would always love him, he showed you what love was after all, showed you that life could be good, you loved him, but now you understood that loving yourself was important too, and right now you had to do what was best for yourself. Sometimes you love someone but it’s not supposed to be, and that hurts like hell but it’s okay, at least you learned something from it.

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #angst with no happy ending #maju's writing

[stonerzelda]

genuinely idk about this job shituation I will probably just try to tough it out and deal with the intensely uncomfortable days going forward knowing that my fears have been confirmed and my coworker Does in fact hate me, and everyone there Does in fact fully believe me to be a legit idiot apparently unworthy of basic respect or friendliness 🫠🥴

Like I cant! I Cannot just quit ANOTHER job because I'm disliked! I tried so fckin hard, I finished my training and filled an entire notebook TO THE BRIM with every single miniscule detail of it in there thinking I would study this job like it was a fckin class so this specifically wouldn't happen!! But honest to god I did not see this coming and its making me question if maybe they're all right about me.

Like IM tired of making excuses for myself. It HAS to be me. I have to be the problem. It just doesn't make any fckin sense to me bc it's not like I'm not trying!!!!! Am I really just stupid? But then again like even if I was, is that a conceivable reason to treat someone like they're the bane of your existence when they've been nothing but kind despite that???

Idk man. Sorry for venting on main so much big time but I am soooooo lost. Like I feel so completely defeated. I'm 26 now and I have fuck all to show for it. My aspirations aren't realistic and going back to school at this age sounds like a nightmare for 1, and for 2 even if I did I really don't think it would actually yield me any results. That's just not how it works anymore.

Fack lol..

#i was once super competent and hsrd working and i wknder if its an environment thing or if im really just...diminished #maybe i HAVE become dumber. maybe ive just deteriorated without realizing #stranger things have happened ig but oh my godDDD

[theamityelf]

How would you describe Nagito's relationship with each of his zombified classmates? For some bizarre reason it sounded morbidly wholesome when you mentioned his interactions with Akane, Hiyoko, and Ibuki.

Lol, I appreciate that! Morbidly wholesome is the vibe I was feeling, as well.

(Okay, first of all I'm just brainstorming, but let's do this!)

Is it weird if I say he's closer to them than ever? Lol. He feels needed, and since they aren't in a fully rational state, he doesn't feel the need to couch any of his suggestions with caveats regarding his own unworthiness or their superiority. Being needed is a way to circumvent his need to keep his distance. And his excess of devotion/intensity has an outlet- however morally dubious -in that he is regularly feeding them people.

I'd say, in his mind, his undead classmates all exist somewhere on a sliding scale between "This is an Ultimate, extremely talented, the world's hope" and "This is a misbehaving house cat." Most of them hover around the middle of that spectrum, where they are simultaneously Ultimates and misbehaving pets, and the particular ways in which those things cancel out create a dynamic kind of like normal friendship, by the standards of this weird situation and these weird characters.

Teruteru is more at the misbehaving pet end of things. Nagito might actually use a spray bottle on him, if he found it worked to curb his more troublesome behaviors. Teruteru is constantly messing with the others and getting into things he's not supposed to, and Nagito gets kind of annoyed.

Mahiru helps him to quell misbehavior from the others, so whenever Nagito leaves the room, he announces that Mahiru is in charge until he gets back. She tends to intervene when the others fight. She helps him control Teruteru and Kazuichi especially.

Kazuichi whines, and he clings. He wants food, and he wants attention, and he wants to break apart any vaguely mechanical object Nagito might be holding and play with the pieces. (He learned that the hard way. It's how he lost his phone early on.) But his continued interest in his talent is something Nagito believes is worth encouraging, so he brings him tools and small machine parts, when he can, to see if he'll do something with them. Kazuichi usually doesn't annoy him in the way Teruteru does, but Nagito does put his foot down when he messes with Sonia's fort.

Peko is extremely quiet and mild-mannered. Occasionally, he approaches her like, "Have you eaten yet, Peko?" because she will just sit in the corner watching everybody and not eat. Which is weird, because ravenous hunger for raw (human) flesh is very much a symptom of the virus, but it seems her survival instincts have her on too high alert to enter the fray when food has been brought into the classroom. But when Fuyuhiko ends up in a fight with any of the others, she jumps in ferociously and it is very hard to break things up.

("Interesting. So do you have a crush on Fuyuhiko, then?" Nagito wonders.)

The Ultimate Imposter built a fort out of some of the desks and generally hides there in a little nest that he also built. Most of his classmates give him space, and Nagito does too (placing Imposter closer to the "Ultimate worthy of high respect" end of the spectrum) but Ibuki crawls in and out without a care in the world, sometimes bringing him food.

Ibuki pretty much interacts with everyone. Extremely tactile and prone to biting, which isn't that different from her normal self. She often reacts to faraway sounds, so when she suddenly sits up, looking excited, Nagito knows to go check the traps.

Sonia followed Imposter's example and also built a fort, but hers is a tad less structurally sound, so while Nagito keeps a respectful distance, occasionally he rights a desk that looks like it might fall. Gundham sleeps in the corner next to Sonia's fort, concealed by shadows. She would let him in if he tried to come in, but he's too shy. Hiyoko and Mahiru sleep in Sonia's fort.

Akane is usually the one to escape the room, and she is pretty much impossible to catch...unless he let Nekomaru loose, too, and Nekomaru can't particularly be trusted either. Fortunately, Akane has strong bonds to the others, so he can usually just wait for her to come back. She'll be dragging some reserve student by the leg when she does, but there's no help for it. At least the others enjoy the food. Nagito can see the good intentions, however misguided.

Mikan tries to treat Nagito's injuries, sometimes. He lets her try. Sometimes she can effectively bandage up a bite, and sometimes she'll just grab his hair and drag his head down to meet the injury so his hair can soak up the blood. Also, she has about a 50% chance of suddenly biting his face if she looks him in the eye for a full second. Fortunately, she's not one of the especially quick ones, so it's easy to dodge.

Hiyoko is cranky. She will bite. She also needs attention. When she has it, she will bite. When she does not have it, she will bite. Nagito just kind of lets it happen. It's fine.

On the whole, he lowkey really likes being in charge of them. The ones who will sit still, he wipes the blood off their faces. The ones who don't take the initiative to eat, he points them out to Akane and she brings them food. He makes sure they have blankets and water.

Honestly, despite the regular biting (which he considers his payment for the chance to be of use), this is a pretty good timeline for Nagito.

#danganronpa #undead au #nagito komaeda #teruteru hanamura #mahiru koizumi #peko pekoyama #ultimate imposter #ibuki mioda #kazuichi soda #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #hiyoko saionji #mikan tsumiki #akane owari

[murmurmurl]

hiii pjsk oc ramble again :3

(this is super all over the place btw)

I feel like I should be developing Toshiro more, since he's the unit leader but I haven't come up with that much stuff about them compared to the others. BUT. I'm thinking about Seina. In the relationship thingy I mentioned that she works part-time at a café. I think it'd be funny if it's a café Ena and Akito go to somewhat regularly. then I'd have to change some stuff up though, because it wouldn't be just "met them once". Maybe I'd even make her friends with Ena. I did say I'll change a lot of stuff lol

Seina is very collected and pretty much knows how to deal with ppl, so I think she's pretty good at handling customers. It's still tiring for her though, more than you might expect, actually.

I think she deserves a break ngl (I say after being the one to make her need a break in the first place but uhm anyways)

I've also been thinking about their siblings... Seina and Toshiro both have siblings, actually. I haven't figured out their sibling dynamics as much yet. Like, I keep going back and forth on Seina's sibling especially, whether to make them older or younger. Because I have both options thought out, how they would have affected the relationship and in what way they contributed to how Seina acts. I know I'm gonna project with the sibling thing a lot, but uh. That's what OCs are for..? Kinda??? I guess?????

Fumi and Matsu are only children in their families, but I think with how they act with each other and their past connection, they act a little like siblings. I've also been thinking more about the period where Fumi wasn't as strong-willed and couldn't help or stand up for Matsu when he was bullied. Around that time, they had a bit of a falling out due to Fumi blaming herself too much and ending up isolating herself. They interact again for the first time since then already when the unit's story starts. Its awkward at first, and despite all this time working on being the best she could be to make sure nothing like that ever happens again, Fumi still blames themself and ends up avoiding Matsu at all costs. I can't say that he NEVER blamed her... of course, at first, back then, he felt hurt because no one would help, and when he needed his best friend more than ever, she ended up practically abandoning him. There is a little bit of that.. bitterness (??) left to this day, but overall, he doesn't really put them at fault. Fumi is extremely harsh on herself – that's actually something all of them have to a degree. Toshiro wanting to improve, be better at everything, be reliable because of his family problems, he wants to prove a certain person wrong. I now realize that this might sound kinda like the Shinonome dad situation, but it's still different. Seina blames herself terribly for accidentally hurting a dear friend in the past, she thinks of herself as unworthy of being forgiven and cared for, and tries her best caring for everyone around herself instead, devoting it so much time and effort that it leaves her exhausted and even puts a distance between her and the people she loves because she doesn't want to bother them with any of her personal struggles, even thoughts, she doesn't want to be a burden and upset them by having feelings. Fumi's case I already described here. With Matsu... I feel like it's less present in him, but it's still there. He tends to put a lot of pressure on himself about being good enough to be loved. Also because of stuff in the past, partially because of the bullying, partially because of how he as a child perceived Fumi distancing herself from him. He tries really hard to fit into the expectations others have of him, as well as be as independent as possible.

Of course, during the course of their story/ies I want to work through all of that. I think that coming to terms with things and starting to heal would take the longest for Seina. In part because she doesn't let anyone worry about herself as best she can.

ANYWAYS. Uhm. Stop the angst yapping, please, okay, thank you.

I like thinking through the sad and struggling parts of their characters, but I don't want to stop focusing on how they support each other and how much they care about each other. I also think I focused a little too much on their personalities and less so on the. Other necessary stuff... I've started thinking about their SEKAI. I think it should be something nostalgic in a way? With how much their stories seem to be dealing with the past so far, it'd make sense. I have a few ideas maybe, but I still need to flesh them out to even choose hehe

#insanity #project sekai #pjsk #colorful stage #prsk #oc #pjsk oc #project sekai oc #toshiro hasegawa #matsu kimura #fumi hatanaka #seina amari #i gave them their own tags yippeee #Helianthus♡Light!

[dabiscarpet]

Idea based on an afternoon nap high on meds and full of wet dreams

Warnings: piercings, body modification, suggestive themes.

fem reader ^^ (cuz it's based on a dream I had)

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- suguru, leader of a cult (nothing new here)

- he has right hands, his most loyal followers, who have earned his respect, attention, and are now the object of his lust

- suguru with a split tongue, and only his most loyal followers get to have that too (their tongue split, and Suguru's)

- the cult barely anything spiritual, let's face it, just a space to justify raw lust running wild to cleanse thy souls

- newbie comes in. The current favs, Suguru's three wives, have to introduce her to all the pleasures and practices of their cult.

- they get to the point where they tell newbie about the wonders if split tongue for the soul, but newbie seems a bit skeptical

- one of wives tries showing her what does it mean, but newbie refuses and prefers to talk to the leader, because "she's not understanding what's so great about it. Might have the leader explain me better"

- y/n, another of the three wives, looks for suguru to inform him about this new rebel girlie.

- suguru is roaming around the ethereal gardens, whole head of luscious black hair tied together in a messy low bun, little hairs sticking to his forehead and neck because of the humidity and sweat after his long walk. He looks just... Godly

- y/n talks about newbie, clearly annoyed, and more that just relying the message of "wanting to speak to leader", talks to him about how this newbie "needs correction" and its still clearly unworthy of even crossing paths with him.

- suguru quickly catches on to the annoyed tone, and seems entertained by all the trash talking lol.

- "don't you worry my love"

- suguru traps y/n between his body and a wall after she's done ranting, a playful smile on his face. Sticking his tongue out, silver ball shining under the droplets of humidity surrounding them

- "this remains only yours. Let that woman come to her senses, or-"

- "please sir, she's not worthy of your precious time and word-"

- y/n is immediately silenced by a tongue down her throat. Grabbing Suguru's man bun rather rashly, she quickly hooks one leg around his waist, long dressing garments with a side slit allowing her leg to come through.

- "oh my oh my, you seem a bit insolent today, y/n"

- "I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention to interrupt-"

- "yet you're doing it again. Now... As i was saying, let that woman come to her senses, or she can leave on her own. I already did more than enough by allowing my three most precious girls talk to her and even demonstrate the wonders of our group"

- istg this man has both honey and venom spilling out of his mouth

- y/n can only be reminded of why she chose to follow this man, completely infatuated with his speech, his face, his body, his self... eyes staring needy at his eyes, and his tongue as well, moving so entrancing with each word he let out, like a snake wrapping around its victim's body slowly but surely, steel grip forming around them.

- "now, it seems it's my job to help you, my wife, to get back in track and repent for those insolent moments you had five minutes ago"

- as to not interrupt him again, y/n only nods, tears pooling her eyes in repentance.

- a burning hand closes against the back of her neck, and another one squeezes her tight around his waist.

- "now, that's a good girl... my favorite wife. Come on to our repentance room, I'm sure you didn't mean any harm, but i just need to make sure, right?"

...

To be continued?

#getou suguru #jjk #suguru #thots #jujutsu kaisen #scenario #cult leader suguru #pierced! suguru #getou suguru smut #getou x reader #jjk geto #getou suguru x reader #geto x y/n #dabiscarpet #jujustsu kaisen x reader

[lesbianp1lled]

it's so lame that we even have to identify as 'gold star' lesbians at this point in human existence. unless you live in an extremely homophobic country, there just isn't a reason for a gay person to force themself be intimate with the opposite sex, period. that's self-r*pe to any actual gay person and the mere idea has always disgusted me, even when I tried to convince myself I was bi because of comphet lol (I do live in a pretty homophobic country where I've never seen a gay couple hold hands publicly in almost 30 years.. ). I've never accepted even a single date with a man, 0 intimacy (ew), because even despite being able to realize/ accept that I was a lesbian only in my early 20s, I've always instinctively known I'm gay. most people do, and thus physical contact with the opposite sex who we're not attracted to is abhorrent. that's why I think women who've had het sex and still claim to be lesbians are either fakebians or have 0 self-dignity and a desperate need for attention to the point of jumping on a d*ck for societal approval, and I'll never understand that/ f*ck with that. that's the most anti-feminist bs, I know so many straight women who didn't have sex before like 30 because they hadn't met a man they loved and trusted enough. virginity is lauded in women so there's no pressure to be with men either. so there's no justifying being with males while claiming to be a lesbian lol.

I actually needed to went about sth personal as well and since I sadly have no lesbian friends, this is the best option. basically all my relationship attempts have ended tragically because all my crushes have been het or bihet women. I live in a tiny ass country so there simply aren't enough lesbians yet there are thousands of drop-dead-gorgeous het and bihet women and I am simply a woman with eyes, what can I say.. all the actual lesbians tend to be butches, and don't get me wrong, butches have my whole heart, but I'm a femme-for-femme kinda gal, I can't help it. I am conventionally attractive and work hard to stay in shape but I'm no supermodel either and actually insanely beautiful women scare me a bit so I'm just looking for sb on the same level. I don't want to feed into the stereotype about lesbians being unattractive, I don't think that's true. but in my country it tends to be the case, which is especially jarring because the straight women are outstandingly beautiful. ofc looks isn't the main thing I'm looking for but I don't want a romantic relationship with sb I'm not even attracted to. I've tried that and it didn't work, it isn't fair on me nor them.

I've also graduated from every level of education with the highest honors, I'm a uni lecturer since 20, I have my own company, everyone tells me I'm one of the nicest people they know and I still can't find a gf who'd like me as much as I love her?? that's what's truly enraging, to see all these amazing het and bihet women genuinely love and give their all to these misogynistic subpar beer-bellied males who use them as personal maids while I can't find one (1!!) woman to love me as an objectively good-looking feminist they could 100% relate to and be in an equal/ synergetic relationship with.

I'm sorry but heterosexuality truly is a masochistic self-destructive condition in women, I know it's innate but it's true.. inc3ls (including the trans kind) have no idea what real hardship is in dating women. it's seeing the fugliest moids get with the most kind, intelligent, ambitious and hot women only to drain them from life and self-respect and not even appreciate getting with a woman waaay out of their league. while you are on that woman's level but she'll never love you even if she's bi because ultimately you just don't have a nasty dangler in your pants which doesn't even satisfy her anyway. so you just seethe in your justified bitterness and try go on with your life despite feeling like no woman will ever love you, not because you're unlovable or in any way unworthy but simply because you're a woman.

it hurts so much to see all these hot lesbian couples online, it just feels surreal, like where are these women? all I see is obese goofy-looking 'polyamourous' aka promiscuous bihet she/they qWeErs who want to use me as a s3x toy with their disgusting boyfriend.

and this brings me to my ex. she was the one I gave a chance to because she was the first woman to make a move on me, she told me I was perfect, we talked for hours every day for months, went on dates, she fantacized about living in a house together etc, only to randomly ghost me, tell me our relationship meant nothing despite me having admitted to her I was already traumatized by bihet women leading me on. and then ofc she got with some receding neckbeard guy who looks like he could be her uncle not long after lmao. after legit telling me she detests men and would Nevvverr date one again, that I was her perfect woman. so all she gave me was trust issues that all women are secretly bihet c*cksuckers who will eventually leave me no matter how perfect and lovable I am. I know this can't be true but it truly feels like that. she just got married to that male (probably partly for a visa lol) but she certainly tries to convince herself and others desperately she's madly in love with him while watching all of my insta stories in 2.3 seconds for some reason, I've muted her so I found out about her marrying months later.

maybe she knew I was far out of her league and randomly sabotaged our relationship, because it was such a shock out of a blue sky to me. thankfully I wasn't fully in love yet and dodged her (mentally unstable) bullet but we need to address the trauma these bihet women leave us with. because that's entirely valid and not our fault, not everyone has the privilege to date fellow lesbians when finding a real one who isn't a fakebian feels impossible to begin with. I also hate the infantilization of lesbians, she definitely used me for her idiotic little 'sapphic daydreams', f*ck that, we are not some uwu fairies, we are grown women and we are just as entitled to only date people we're physically attracted to as het women. as I said, I wasn't even that attracted to her but the knowledge that she got hetero married while larping as some grand qWeEr feminist who will never date males again hit me like a truck. she's out to the world while I'm only out to my friends and some family because I could be discriminated against at my homophobic workplace. the fkn iront in that.. she even started identifying in plural after meeting him lmaoo, she must've realized that she really is just a measly hetero and no longer has a way 'in' to the lgbt thing she desperately wants to co-opt. she's 100% a poli-qweer lol.

I hate that I'm even allowing myself to be traumatized by her, she's unworthy of that but I can't help it, every romantic experience only worsens my trust issues with women and my current crush is bi as well.. at least she doesn't lie about liking men which is still off-putting but at least she's honest. idk what to do anymore. I'm just livid at this homophobic heteronormative world and the way the hets just keep getting away with it. I nearly threw up at the sight of all het couples today.

and bihets are the worst male-worshippers out there as well, they put up with so much more bs from men than decent self-respecting het women do. and they're desperate to be with a man at all times. some time ago I went out with a bi woman who I didn't know was bi, she presented herself half-virginal, did mention two exes, male and female. but turns out she has slept with every other man in town, brags about it online as if that makes her a 'bad bitch' , no hun, just an unpaid prostitute for patriarchal pleasure.

the only consolation is that het relationships are never equal so they will not have some idyllic marital bliss with their ugly moids as they desperately want to pretend. but still, they have such immeasureable social privilege being het-attracted and -partnered and then they have the audacity to larp as some great qWeEr activist publicly without any shame in their hypocrisy. god I wanna expose her fake ass so badly, tell everyone what a lying bihet charlatan she is. I might never be able to get married in my country because I'm actually gay and she's unapologetically prancing around with a husband when she said she'll never date a man again. as gay people we grapple with so much baseless misplaced shame while the het fakers seem to feel none. meanwhile there are lesbians all over the world forced into loveless het marriages to be r*ped by their husbands. unspeakably disgusting. sometimes I just want to vacate this abhorrent homophobic planet but can't let the homophobes win.

sorry for the long rant but what do you think I should do going forward? I feel like I'm succumbing to complete bitterness and despite not envying the misogynistic relationships of heteros, at least they have the opportunity to be in romantic relationships without fearing being discriminated against, disowned or hate crimed, no matter how flawed their relationships are. meanwhile I'm just getting older, I might still look 18 but I feel like I'll die before a woman of worth will ever reciprocate my love. where to move, where are the actual lesbians?? how to deal with the bilious defeatism and, tbh unfortunately justified victim mentality?

I'm sure a lot of lesbians can relate to my experiences and I would really appreciate them sharing how they got out of this hole/ repeating pattern of dating women who were beneath them and unable to actually love women romantically/ sexually. at this point I'd do anything to even have a woman sexually objectify me at least 😩

oh, and what's notable is that despite never having been in a proper committed relationship and having these failed traumatic attempts, I have never resented women as a whole. women owe me nothing, but the women who have literally thrown themself at me only to lead me on like I begged them not to deserve no remorse. and I haven't lost my mind or general will to live either, I thrive academically and at work, I entertain myself and enjoy my time with family and friends. I don't normally hate on other people in relationships for no reason either, just in a really bad place rn lol. I think it's important to note for all of the lesbophobes out there who call us 'lescels' and compare us to r*pe-loving misogynistic incels who think they should own women as sex toys. I've never resented a woman like that even if she's hurt me beyond words, that shit is just degenerate y-chromosome scrote coded. lesbians will never be able to oppress women, not even if some have unrightful disdain against women because we are the ones oppressed by hetero-attracted women.

also hate we have to identify as gold star lesbians because surely it makes sense that a lesbian wouldn’t ever sleep with a man? But so many call themselves lesbians even if they have slept with a man which is a false identity for them because a lesbian just wouldn’t sleep with a man. But the whole ‘gold star lesbian’ thing started as a way for straights to make fun of us. They’d say “Oh you haven’t slept with a man? Do u want a GOLD STAR?” so when I call myself a gold star lesbian i’m mostly just reclaiming it and saying yeah I am proud of it, and yeah give me a gold star! Lmao

I won’t go into everything you said because i’ll be here all night but I’m also a femme mostly attracted to other femmes and it is true most lesbians are butches which makes our dating pool even smaller. I don’t rule out butches completely, I have found some attractive I’m just mostly attracted to femmes and I’ve never met a butch irl I’ve known other femme lesbians though.

What I think you should do moving forward? Is not to lose hope. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Get in touch with the local community, if you don’t like going to nightclubs u could always join any events or anything like that, a good way to feel in touch with ur local community can be things like volenteering and the like.

I know it’s hard out here for lesbians but you will find your person. My dms are always open if u wanna vent or just talk!

#asks

[muzzleroars]

Yo :3

So uh, I’ve been looking through your art and I am absolutely in love with it. I love your use of colors and lineart (ESPECIALLY v1 but I’ll get to them). This will mostly just be me rambling about it cause :]

Dude how the fuck do you get emotion so well done. V1 is immaculate, like look at this shit

You can feel that it’s alien to non robots, but is genuinely curious. I absolutely love how you draw poses. Especially since the characters don’t have faces, body language is key. They feel like they have a personality with each drawing. Always hunched down and extended with no regards to social norms. The attention to detail is what really makes it, the thicker outlines on the character make them pop more, and your take on V1 is clearly thought out well, along with your ultrakill characters.

LIKE LOOK AT IT‼️

IT GENUINELY LOOKS 3D‼️‼️

While my favorite is v1, Micheal in your aus is especially well written and drawn. His design reminds me a lot of the corpse of king Minos / Minos prime. which I like! It highlights their contrast, how Minos tried to reason with a higher being on an equal level. Micheal acted instead, deeming himself unworthy of said higher being. Both genuinely cared for their citizens, both were royalty. Minos spoke out, Micheal stayed isolated, which only further deteriorated him, unlike Minos, who instead was proactive, reaching out to other layers and kings like Sisyphus. Sometimes you need to know what it’s like to feel consequence in order to succeed. But in the end, both of their bodies are left to rot, unable to succeed.

Also I really like this one of v1. Their silhouette is distinctive and you’re good at posing :3

Sry. Idk if this is weird or creepy, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you since I like analyzing stuff.

THE WAY THIS MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL THO....WTF THANK YOU SO MUCH......it's absolutely mind-blowing to me that you pay attention to these little details because i absolutely try to add all of these things intentionally, but i find myself thinking like 'will anyone even care??? about these tiny things???' so it means more than i can say to see that someone does!!!!! like i'm so happy to know that my characterization of v1 comes through, because i really do have a very clear idea in my mind of its behavior and personality that i'm trying to convey through still images. v1's movements are bird/raptor-like and while i give it a very sophisticated, sentient mind, its intelligence is nonhuman and it is a being that absolutely doesn't conform to our standards. v1 is something new, and i want it to be something that clearly has an internal life and a bright mind, yet exhibits very little corresponding human behaviors. plus, it's a bit odd because of its somewhat corrupted software, and so i wanted too for its little hunched posture to show it's sort of a machine gone feral (in the traditional, once was domesticated but is now on its own sense lol) - it was made with a humanoid body shape and so SHOULD stand up straight, but it doesn't anymore. because it doesn't want to. and so!!! i really do draw v1 with a LOT of intention and i put plenty of thought into posing it correctly to both convey its character and its emotion in the piece...and since it's my favorite, i'm so glad i'm doing it justice!!

AND YEA!!! michael definitely has parallels to minos (which i started to think on when i realized their head shape is....kinda similar lol i swear i was just going for crown + blindfold for mike's helmet but oops!!) and i do like their throughlines as fallen rulers, plus their sort of opposing yet ultimately disastrous relationships to their own corpse - minos is separated from his and must watch as it mindlessly tears his city apart while michael is trapped in a flesh prison of his own body, forced to stay within it as it rots away. they are two rulers that would have done anything for their people, and yet both failed them despite again taking opposite paths. minos really had no hope, the external forces of heaven coming down on him in their full authority, though he will forever blame himself. michael departed despite, with god's disappearance, being essentially the highest in heaven - he believed only god could save them though, that he could never become a king from a prince (again, due to heaven's own hierarchy). their meeting would be nothing but utter disaster, but it does make me consider their interactions a little more closely when michael decides to test minos prime's strength (because while michael would have a lot to say about how minos failed his people by defying god, minos would have much to say in turn about a prince abandoning his people at their weakest)

BUT FOR REAL....this message was so amazingly kind and i want to thank you again for sending it my way. it just made me!!!! feel so happy to see that my art is loved and that the work i put into it really means something. honestly it's the best thing i could ask for <3

#like both of these things make me so happy bc!! bc #v1 is my favorite so i want to convey it properly #and i really have. become attached to my ocs #so!!! it's important to me that i get them both right #and im glad you get what im trying to say aaa #sorry if im too sappy but this really made my week lol #cake answers #long post

[bohemian-nights]

Would it be too far to ask for a follow-up HC on what happens during Daemon and Rhaena's wedding night?😬 It's like a morbid curiosity now. I feel like I'm watching a train wreck, but I can't look away 🫣

🤭Rhaemon wedding night headcanons💍😈

Oh man so where do we start 😈

Okay so the whole time they are exchanging vows Rhaena feels like she’s having an out of body experience.

She feels like she should’ve ran away as soon , but her feet moved her forward rather than back. Like there was an invisible rope pulling her to him.

To be honest she mostly blacks out the ceremony.

She doesn’t even remember saying anything, doesn’t remember when she cut herself to combine their blood(lol is that even needed she’s like half of him already, literally), only when he presses her flush against him and then leans down to press his lips to hers does she come back to her body.

It’s not a chaste kiss. Daemon manages to catch her by surprise and slips his tongue inside her mouth. Swiping his muscle across the roof of it causing her knees to buckle. It’s her first kiss. Her first real proper kiss, but it’s over. She’s grateful for that because she about feels like like she wants to melt into a puddle of goo or run away.

By then of course it’s too late to object or run away. She’s his and he’s hers for the rest of his days(well as long as the marriage is consummated, but Rhaena knows she won’t be able to get away from that).

She can’t speak. She can barely walk. She’s leaning most of her weight on her new husband, but he doesn’t seem to mind it.

He’s gone quiet too as he's taking to just staring down at her. Watching her for any signs of discontent. For half a second he regrets it when he sees the worry on her face, but that regret fades when she asks him in a quiet voice, noticing that they are not heading in the opposite direction chambers, where he’s taking her.

That perks him up. He leans down to whisper in her ear that they are heading for their chambers. Which are his. He’s moved all her things there. He could have her stay in her old ones or find some closer to his, but he’d never admit, he’s been lonely. He knows she’s been lonely.

That distance between them has grown to be the size of a mountain, but that ends now.

Daemon knows it should have ended long before this night. Maybe if it had ended they wouldn’t be making their way to his bed chambers with the intention of him taking her, his own daughter’s, maidenhead, but here is where they are.

He can’t say he regrets it really and the thought of some other man or some unworthy green boy whose balls have just dropped doing to her what he is going to do makes his blood boil and pull her into his arms. Scooping her up to carry her the rest of the way(which is just around the corner).

Upon arrival, she tries not to look around as he sets her down and kisses her. This one is like the kiss they shared in the library the other day. Perfectly chaste, but lingering all the same.

He pulls away from her, brings a hand to stoke down her cheek, tells her he will be back soon, and then he leaves her. Ordering a pack of maids to ready her.

Alone with them Rhaena doesn’t speak a word. Her mind has been in a fog and everything hits her all at once.

She’s married to her father. She’s always wanted his attention, his affection, his love, but now she’s gotten that and then some.

They shouldn't be doing this. She can't be a part of this. Why must his love come at this cost(why does she not say anything)?

It’s wrong. It’s so very wrong.

She wants to cry, but she can’t because she doesn’t want her companions to feel sorry for her. They are already giving her pitying looks. It would be too much to bear if she broke down.

She thinks about paying some fisherman to smuggle her to Driftmark, but if she does that Rhaenys(and Corlys) will surely kill him.

Despite everything despite even this, she loves him. Not in a way a lover would(at least not yet 😏), but she does love him and would be heartbroken if he died. He’s distant yes, cold most surely, but he’s always been there and she would not want him gone before his time at her hands.

She realizes that this might be wrong, but it would break her if she was away from him. If she was left without him. It's twisted and it's sick, but she's his, and even if her grandmother didn’t burn him alive like how her mother had burned herself she doubts if he was willing to go this far he’d be able to live without her.

So she resigns herself to accepting the fate that awaits her when her father returns.

Now Rhaena knows what the wedding night is for. She’s aware of the basics of how children are made. Baela has told her some things from her infrequent vista and she’s quite informative(a little too informative, but she knows her sister is just trying to comfort her and not make the business so scary).

She’s also had the misfortune or rather fortune to gaze at those Valyrian tapestries depicting hedonism and debauchery strewn around Dragonstones and a had a look or two through some of her father's more explicit novels.

Shamefully there is a tiny part of her that looks forward to the act.

She is lonely. She craves affection. To bear her soul to someone and have them bear her soul to her, but now she’s going to share that part of her with her father.

She doesn’t know what to feel. This little anticipation that causes her to feel heat to a place which should be dead to her father sends her into a slight panic. It's one thing to go along with this. To make herself into an innocent bystander to her father's less than paternal desires, but it's another to want it herself. To be just as perverted as him. Perhaps even more so since she's so desperate for his affection that she's willing to do this to not make a fuss about it when she should be running.

The maids have changed her into her a scandalously sheer nightgown and a robe to cover up her modesty(one that makes her wonder if he ever did this for her mother or if) when Daemon arrives back clothed in a robe of his own.

He regards her for a moment, their eyes met in her vanity before she shifts her gaze. The intensity of it(the black of his pupils over taken to is too much for her to try and wrap her head around. She’s thankful that he doesn’t go to her and instead goes to pour himself a drink. Ordering the maids to leave them.

An awkwardness falls over them as he down two glasses of dornish red in quick succession and she’s just sitting there.

Not knowing what else to say, Rhaena breaths in and breaks the lull by asking him if this set was indeed her mothers, Wringing her hands, eyes on her hands as she tries not to look at him, but she knows she had to say something. That this awkwardness between them can’t stand snd the inevitable will happen no matter how she doesn’t know how to feel or what to do.

He tells her no, that it’s a gift, for her. He takes another drink. Staring at her through the mirror and and asks her, How monstrous do you truly think I am Rhaena?

That causes her to turn around and to refute him that oddly enough she does not see him as anymore monstrous as before, but upon turning to face him she finds that he’s teasing her. A smirk his pale face and she herself starts to giggle.

That awkwardness gone. Relief flooding through her, but it too is gone just as quickly as it came when he beckons her to him. Obeying him with pit of dread in her belly, but she pushes it down.

This was her father. He may have made her into his bride, even for their family that was taking it too far, but he would never hurt her. She comforts herself with that thought. Letting it sink in.

He hands her a glass of wine with that smirk. She’s not particularly fond, of wine, but she accepts his offer. Hoping it will help to settle her nerves. His smile widens as when she gags at the taste.

I’ll find you something sweeter. He tells her reaching out a hand to stroke down her cheek and she nods. Continuing to sip on her drink as she feels the skin where he touched start to heat.

It’s innocent enough. Perhaps she can even imagine that they are just a normal father and daughter, but then those hands start to wonder and that darkness in his eyes which had cooled somewhat from his joke mere minutes before returned

His lips are on hers before she can think. Her emptying wine goblet falling to the ground.

The only warning she received is when his eyes had grown soft. Whispering that she was beautiful before leaning down.

This kiss is intense. More so than at the ceremony. Tongue tracing her wine stained lips and slipping into her waiting mouth again.

They had no audience watching them. No one to look at her with pity or disgust. She could forget the wrongness of it all and focus on the taste of him, it’s smoky something warm about and there’s the bitter taste of the alcohol but it was sweeter coming from his tongue. It’s overwhelming, but she doesn’t exactly mind it.

He only releases her for air and then kissing down her neck. Pulling the robe away from her body and sweeping her into his arms like in the hallway before.

She likes that a lot more than she’d ever care to admit. Feeling something wet pool between her thighs as he throws her onto his bed.

She tries to cover herself, she’s way to exposed, she’s practically bare, but he covers her with his body before she has time to act.

Rucking up her nightgown to resume his reign of kisses down her neck, her clavicle, her breasts(placing a kiss on each of her nipples but he doesn’t take them into his mouth to suckle on), her stomach, and finally just above that thatch of silver curls covering her womanhood.

She can feel his eyes on him. The warmth of his breath fanning her now soaked cunt which embarrassingly only adds to said wetness.

At this point, she’s looking anywhere but at him while his sole focus is on his trembling baby girl who is a beautiful mess in his eyes.

She’s panting, and shaking, overheated, trying to keep from moaning, to keep from losing it. From giving in. From pulling him closer, her brown fingers wanting to thread themselves between his strands to do so. From leaning into his touch which she desperately wants to do instead of laying there like a rag doll, but then he slaps her on the meat of her inner thigh.

It’s not a hard slap. Nothing that will bruise, but it’s close enough to where she wants him that it snaps her out of her own head. Forcing her to meet his gaze.

His eyes are completely black. All the color drained from them. She's the reason for that darkness.

The realization of that brings about a shiver that makes her flush with heat traveling straight down to her cunt.

Daemon doesn’t miss that. The sight or the smell of it with the his face being mere inches from it. Bringing a thumb down from her hip to feel her need.

He’s watching her. Shifting from her sopping womanhood to her face. He’s always watching her, she doesn’t think he’ll stop watching her and she doesn't want him to. It’s too much to think about.

The Gods will punish us. Rhaena tells him knowing it’s a moot point. They can’t go back from this nor, but she feels like she has to say it. To remind him, and herself that this isn’t normal or right. That they shouldn’t be doing this.

She wants it more than anything else, wants him more than anything else, has always wanted him even if not in this way exact way, but she’s got to be the rational one here. Someone’s got to object to this if only for appearances sake if nothing else. She can’t just let him take her without objecting to it.

Maybe if she objects he’ll stop. They won’t be able to go back to before, she’ll be heartbroken if he throws her out of his chambers, humiliated, but he can send her way and they won’t have to regret anything. Won’t have to worry about what comes after this. The uproar they will bring about from their sin.

It’s a painful line of thought, but she knows him.

He wanted as he always did a Valyrian bride he can mold.

Her elder cousin was too old now, to set in her ways to make her his wife. Helena was married, mad, and half Hightower and Baela was his darling daughter. He could not marry her, but he could marry the one who doesn’t love.

He’s settling for her. Just like he did with her mother.

Or maybe this is way of atoning for her death. Take the daughter he neglected just like he did the mother except this one was still living. This one he could make right. This one would give him he what he wanted.

Rhaena doesn’t know. She doesn’t want to know, but she knows he doesn’t really want her. That’s the precise reason she’s in his bed with her wetness dripping onto his dark sheets.

She begins to push him away, but he her ankle. His eyes still on her as he pulls her leg over his shoulder. Exposing her womanhood more to him growls out, To hell with the Gods. Your mine. You’ve always been mine.

His mouth engulfs her cunt the moment the last syllable of mine leaves from his lips.

He’s absolutely relentless. His tongue shifting between lapping at her lower lips, occasionally slipping inside her to gather her juices and sucking on her clit before finally settling on the latter.

He plunges his middle and ring finger into her heat. Finding that spongy spot in her that makes her forget everything except the feeling of this pleasure. Stretching her in preparation.

Daemon holds her down when she begins to shake. Taking in every little moan and whimper Rhaena makes. It doesn’t take her long until she’s cumming around her fathers fingers with his tongue around her clit.

Her mind is still hazy from her orgasm when he begins to kiss up her body.

He’s divested of his robe as well her gown now. She can feel every inch of his skin on hers. Warm, big and comforting. He radiates heat.

He’s not the largest man, but his frame dwarfs her and despite this being her first time, the first time she’s felt a naked man on her, the first time she’s been naked around a man, she feels safe in his arms. Like nothing can harm her here with him.

The warmth of his bare skin on hers isn't the only thing she feels😏

She feels her father's heavy cock resting on her thigh. Dangerously close to the place where he made her see stars. Still ready for him.

Rhaenas more curious than she is scared.

She wants to see it. To feel it. Reach down a hand to touch it. Maybe even do what he just did to her, but

She's in luck though because her daddy can tell that his baby girl is deliberating once more.

He takes her little brown hand in his pale one and moves it to his member. Using it to tug on the leaking shaft a few times.

Their eyes, both blown out from their lock. She can’t look away and neither can he when he asks her with her fingers wrapped around his cock, How monstrous do you find your kepa now?

It's wrong, those words are so wrong, what they are doing to each other goes against every God, but she can't help but flood or the whine she lets out.

It’s Rhaena this time that pulls him in for a kiss.

She’s become quite the little student, but he uses it as a distraction to line himself up with her center and push into her warmth.

He doesn’t want to give her anytime again to be at war with herself or to doubt him.

He’s slow. He knows how it can during a woman’s first time. He remembers how it was with Laena(he doesn't really want to think of this right now, but it's point of reference).

Rhaena is his baby and he doesn't want to see her hurt even at his own hands(unless she asked him too).

She can feel him everywhere. From her head to her toes. She expected some pain, but all she can feel is the deliciousness of the stretch.

His length dragging across her walls. Stretching her some more as he bottoms out when she bucks up to meet his thrusts.

He’s going far too slow for her liking. She begins to whine. Breaking their kiss to pout, but she doesn’t have to pout for long when he gets the hint.

Speeding up as he drags his length across her pulsing walls. In and out. Finding his rhyme.

She’s already sensitive from her last orgasm so when he brings down a calloused thumb to draw circles into her engorged clit and pulls his mouth away from planting kisses down her neck to command Let go for your kepa little one, for the second time that night, she comes.

It takes a little bit longer for her to cover and when she does she sees that he’s almost as gone as she was. Mouthing at her breasts and taking a brown nipple between his lips and into his mouth to suckle on.

She thinks about pushing him away again. Remembering something Baela had told her about not letting a man finish inside of you if you wanted, but she can’t bring herself to do it. She can’t bring herself to do anything but wrap her legs around him when his breathing becomes ragged and his thrusts sloppy.

Barely leaving her cunt. As if it pains him to do so as he stares down at her like he found those Gods that have surely condemned them in her dark eyes.

Rhaena takes to running her hands to stroke his silver strands and goes to nip at his ear. Breathing into it as she whispers Let go for me kepa. She doesn't know what possesses her to say it, but she's glad she does when she hears the gutteral sound he makes as he shoots his seed into her.

He doesn’t pull away from her. Not for some hours. Only managing to flip them over so as not to crush her, but Rhaena doesn't think she'd mind it.

She feels some guilt about what transpired when they are laying there, namely when Daemon starts to fuck his cum back into her with his fingers which leads to another round of whatever, but not as much as she should feel.

Not nearly as much as she should when she awakens in the morning with his tongue inside her. Daemon not being able to get enough of his baby’s sweet little cunt and Rhaena is too to stop him.

Or the dozen other times after that where she forgets just how wrong she should find this. Maybe it isn’t so wrong if he makes her forget everything, but him and he her 🔥🩸

#rhaemon #rhaemon headcanons #daemon targaryen x rhaena targaryen #daemon x rhaena #rhaena x daemon #this is extremely long for a headcanon #and not in a good way #🫠 #i think I got carried away #rhaena targaryen #rhaena of pentos #daemon targaryen

[bihansthot]

Real men do suck big time, lol. I've tried it all and even got ghosted in real life, so I haven't been able to date anyone. I understand where you're coming from and how much it hurts. It's not wrong to hanker love and intimacy. I'll continue to love fictional men in my delusional head, they'll take good care of me. If it makes us happy, that's all that matters. I also know what it's like to feel drained creatively, been through it a lot. Currently am. The ageist mindset some men have is horrible too. I'm 33, but sometimes get creepy remarks from 60-70 year old men since I look 19 to them. I've nothing against older men, but I wish most wouldn't treat women past 25 like we're suddenly unworthy and undeserving. We're desirable, lovable, and deserving of respect like any human being. Chin up, dear! I'll fight anyone for you. I'm a fellow Bi-Han and Syzoth lover, though I also adore Tomas! Hehe.

Dating in your 30s is soooo hard, I don’t want a 60+ year old man, I just want a guy in his 40s but no, I’m not young enough for a man close to my age. I still look younger but the actual number is apparently important. It’s just all so frustrating and I’m over it, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with the same garbage lovely. But yes! We have our wonderful fictional lovers to keep us company 🥰 For the record I adore Tomas too, he’s so sweet 🥹

#online dating #dating in your 30s #it’s so hard #fictional other #solarbear