#i've always been a messy person and everyone treated me as if that were a failure n not smth that was enhanced by a fucking disorder!!!!!

[bixiaoshi]

anytime i wanna complain abt cleaning my room i feel like such a kid lol

#like you're 24 years old wdym u get overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning ur room #i have a lot to complain abt it n its mostly bcs i dont have a space to leave my shit bcs my wardrobe is full of my stepfather's clothes n #stuff my mom has put that isnt mine like 😐 #that and the drawer in my room thats full of my grandma's stuff like 😭 i could use it for my own stuff n yet :-/ #it has like 5 things to use n i only get ONE #and idk it frustrates me so much bcs yeah im a messy person!!!!!! i know!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but i also have no space for my shit!!!!!!! and of course in 10 years i'd get more stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #plus i also have a disorder that makes it harder for me to be organized!!!!!!!!!!! #and when i was a kid no one ever treated me like that!!!!!!!!!!!! no one ever took the time to teach me on how to be organized with that #disorder and now im suffering the consequences!!!!!!!!!! but i can't rlly blame the adults bcs none of yall knew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it just #frustrates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i ended complaining either way lol anyways. #i feel like a lot of my frustration with cleaning up is that growing up everyone treated it as a failure #i've always been a messy person and everyone treated me as if that were a failure n not smth that was enhanced by a fucking disorder!!!!! #'ohhh you're so messy!!! your room is so messy' n u couldn't have helped a kid to be more organized #if i were diagnosed younger i feel like lots of my frustrations wouldn't exist #jo.txt

[thepurestgirll]

Unconditional love ✧˖°

Scaramouche is extremely perceptive when it comes to someone he loves, however he decided that letting you take your own time and feel comfortable enough to tell him about it would be more appropriate. To tell you the truth, he always found your concerns about your appearance or personality a bit stupid. What do you mean you are saying that you are too thin or overweight? You look beautiful. How can you say that your nose is too big or that your hair is ugly? It looks wonderful on you.

When we're talking about comfort, Scaramouche is a bit awkward about it. He will simply hold you in silence until you feel better. (Then he'll probably go after the person who made you cry and give him a few sleepless nights.)

If anyone makes any offensive comments directed at you, I pray to whoever made them. There are two possibilities, either he will stare at them (silently warning them that they would die soon) or he will give them free trip to the hospital later. (But in both situations the person “mysteriously” disappeared later.)

Xiao can notice any changes in your behavior, especially since he'll kind of be by your side most of the time. Like Scaramouche, he finds your insecurity about your appearance unnecessary. You always seemed perfect to him, and maybe that's why he has a goofy little smile on his lips whenever he's with you. (even though he just tells you that you're just seeing things and that he never once smiled.)

When it comes to comfort, he is extremely shy in certain situations, and interestingly, giving compliments is one of them. Don't get him wrong, he could be admiring you all day, but it would take hours for him to say anything about it. But when he does, you can be sure that his compliments would be as sweet as possible. However, you can see that the frequency with which he compliments you increases when he realizes that you are having problems with your appearance. He will do his best to make you feel good about yourself, and his last concern is how long it will take.

It would be difficult for any kind of offensive comment to even reach you (since he gives everyone he talks to you a death glare.) But if it happens… he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty.

Kazuha is a total sweetheart. Any change in your behavior can make him worry. You are quieter than usual? He has already asked you if something is wrong. Looks sad? Get ready for a three-hour conversation where he will hear you say all your concerns without saying a single word. He's the type of person who knows every little detail about his lover, and finds every single one of them beautiful, without exception.

I personally believe that Kazuha is one of the best in comfort. He is a good listener, he is gentle with words, and above all, he loves you and treats you in the best possible way. If you're insecure about your scars, I imagine him running his finger over each one, giving little pecks to each one, and then offering to show you his own in an attempt to make you feel better.

When it comes to offensive comments, it's no different. His first priority would probably be to get you out of that situation as quickly as possible, and then he would have a small “talk” with the person. And you, of course, would receive a nice treatment of kisses and hugs from your boyfriend until you forgot all the bad things that happened.

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

Author's note: like always, open requests and everything you already know! I feel like this writing is a bit messy, so I'm sorry if it wasn't good enough or if there were any grammatical errors, English is not my first language…

I've done my best to write through the stress, but knowing that I've been getting so many good people in my asks just to ask if i'm okay just makes me so happy! Thank you so much for all the love, I really appreciate it <3 Remember that you are perfect just the way you are, and that your weight, your grades or anything superficial does not define you! Thank you for your attention, dear reader <3

#small post #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin impact x gn reader #Scaramouche x reader #Scaramouche x gn reader #Wanderer x reader #Wanderer x gn reader #Wanderer x you #Scaramouche x you #Wanderer #wanderer x y/n #Scara #Xiao #Xiao x reader #Xiao x gn reader #Wanderer fluff #Scaramouche fluff #Xiao fluff #Kazuha x reader #Kazuha x gn reader #Kazuha x you #Kazuha x y/n #KAzuha fluff #genshin fluff #genshindra #genshin imagines #Scaramouche

[comradekatara]

I saw your toph+katara gender post and honestly... thank you for being one of few ppl i've seen who actually do a deeper analysis of toph? Most people tend to just go "i love toph she's cool <3" and while that's fine, its so nice to actually see someone Get Her. Esp wrt her gender expression and relationship to femininity. She's always been v imporant to me, like when i was like 12 i used to watch youtube clips of the toph+katara spa day scene on repeat and have Feelings abt it (still think its a super interesting scene??). Imo, while a lot of her expression is def rebelling (+overcompensating) and doing the oposite of her feminine upbringing, a lot of it is also a genuine JOY at being covered in dirt/burping/being loud and crass and tough? Idk i just feel like a lot of her contemporary "tomboy" characters were more defined as "ugh i hate Skirts and Dresses", but tophs brand of gnc joy and complex relationship w femininity always hit closer For Me? Like. She's loud and crass and rude and badass and cool, she does find it fun to dress girly but as like an Activity with a buddy, she's overjoyed at being portrayed as a big buff dude ("that's exactly how i would cast it!"), she's actually very spiritual and perceptive when not in Loud Mode, she keeps her fancy hairstyle but adds messy bangs, idk she's just. Character of all time. I'd love to hear if you have more thoughts on toph+gender (or just toph in general), and thank you for actually Understanding Her <33

YES!!!!! i have so many thoughts and feelings on toph. she is one of my absolute favorite characters i truly love her so much, and like you said, i hate when people dismiss her even as they claim to love her. "she's so badass" like okay, and?

toph is also just very important to me as her disability informs so much of her arc. and that disability is also inextricable from her gender and her family and all the factors that shape who she is, her strengths and her insecurities. you cannot separate her parents' abuse from her gender, class, or blindness. it's the combination of being an aristocratic blind girl that informs who she is and how she's perceived, especially by her family. she's an only child in a family that would clearly desire at least one son, and you cannot help but wonder whether they stopped at one for eugenicist purposes, whether they couldn't bear the "pain" of risking having another disabled child. and also because they clearly consider having a blind child such a handful that any other child would draw their attention away from her dire, pressing needs. so they completely smother her, but they also dismiss her, trivialize her desires and ignore her feelings and treat her more like a fragile porcelain doll than a person.

it's why, by the time of "the chase," she gets inordinately defensive over katara's suggestion that she pitch in when setting up camp. i see a lot of people claim that toph in this episode is acting like a spoiled brat who refuses to do manual labor because she's too wealthy to understand, but that's not actually the case. toph is fine with doing manual labor (she literally spent who knows how long working in an underground wrestling ring, she's not unaccustomed to work), but she's averse to helping others. as she says, "i carry my own weight." she's establishing, erroneously but understandably, that her idea of affording others respect is assuming that everyone behaves on an individual basis. she's never had friends before, by her own admission, and so in her mind, the only model she's ever seen for "helping others" is smothering them, denying their agency, and deciding everything for them.

toph thinks that katara is a bitch because katara is suggesting that toph meddle in other people's affairs, instead of respecting their own business. and katara thinks that toph is a bitch because she does just straight up assume that toph is a spoiled brat who doesn't understand the value of community. and while toph isn't a spoiled brat, learning the value of community is indeed integral to her arc. and more than simply communal values of helping and sharing with others, she also learns to rely on them in turn. she learns how to embrace her vulnerability, and let others carry her weight for her. her apotheosis in the finale is literally hanging onto sokka, who is holding her entire weight with one hand, for dear life. putting her complete faith in him to carry her and protect her as he always does.

that ability to embrace her vulnerability among the people she actually trusts to not only love and support her, but also to recognize her as a human being and care about her as a a peer, is so crucial to her identity as someone who has learned from years of ableist stigma to put walls up and present herself as someone uniquely powerful and invulnerable. and it's not that she isn't uniquely powerful, but her strength is also largely a projection. it's why she's so delighted to be portrayed by a big buff man, because that's the kind of person she wishes she could be, so that she wouldn't have to be underestimated and belittled and oppressed by people who dismiss her and coddle her and disrespect her and, quite literally, put her in a box.

so if toph's experience with disability is informed by her class and her upbringing, then let's now turn to her experience with gender, which is equally informed by her background. katara often balks at toph's less feminine presentation, because despite her incredibly righteous crusade against limiting patriarchal standards, she nonetheless has her own hangups when it comes to gender. but then again, so does toph. just as katara disdains toph's masculinity, toph finds katara's femininity offensive because her only real model for femininity in her experience is that of aristocratic wifehood. poppy beifong, to be exact, who is not exactly a girlboss (let alone a revolutionary, like katara is). and when katara tries to shove toph back into a box, toph resists because of course she does, that's who she is. she's not going take what she experiences as violent repression lying down.

toph is wrong in "the runaway" to exclude katara from their fun, and she is wrong to call compare her to a mother, but it's not out of nowhere. there is an obvious precedent to these actions. katara is a genuinely feminine girl who loves to boss people around and dictate how they should live their lives. to toph, this is the most egregious sin imaginable. katara, through her femininity and authoritative attitude, is positioning herself, in toph's eyes, as her mother. and toph calls her out for being overbearing and claims that katara hates fun and wants to boss everyone around for this reason, even though sokka is obviously the primary fun-hating, overbearing member of the group.

however, sokka never dictates how toph should act or dress, sokka never made fun of toph for being blind (which is a thing that really deserves its own post, if we're being honest). sokka makes them spend their vacation time at the library and enforces his color-coded schedules on them and generally brings down the vibe what with his neuroticism and severity, but he also laughs at toph's jokes and banters with her in a way that treats her as a friend and not as a rival. and unlike katara, whose desires and commands seem completely arbitrary to toph, sokka's commands are grounded in a logic that toph can understand. so even if from an outside perspective, toph's claim that a revolutionary teenage girl who loves to cause trouble and seeks adventure and joy around every corner is trying to be the overbearing mom of the group makes no sense, it makes perfect sense to toph, based on her history with femininity, overbearing mothers, and feminine overbearing mothers.

toph presents masculinely as compensation, as a way to make herself seem strong and tough instead of dainty and submissive as she was always made out to be. she associates masculinity with strength and femininity with weakness because that's the paradigm she grew up in. it's why she's always teasing aang about his supposed femininity and calling him "twinkle toes" (which, as sokka points out, isn't manly). in their first interaction, aang beat her in a fight and humiliated her in front of all her adoring fans, and avatar or not, toph's gonna make him pay for that by undermining him in turn, by using his presentation as a monk to mock him. even if aang isn't gay or even gender non-conforming (within the assumptions of his own culture), toph is still employing the logic of sexism/homophobia to undermine aang when she makes jokes about him being "more in touch with [his] feminine side than most guys." and of course, the nickname "twinkle toes" is also deeply affectionate, and aang (bless his heart) never actually takes offense to it. but toph is trying to establish herself as more powerful than him due to the humiliating knowledge that he could beat her in a fight, easily.

toph's masculinity is inextricably tied to her invulnerability. she wants to be taken seriously and treated as a human being, which is respect that has been denied to her due to her status as a blind girl, save for her blind bandit persona, which superficially empowered her and made her feel strong. it's not coincidence that her rival earthbender is a guy who is essentially a parody of masculinity. toph wants to position herself as equivalent, if not directly superior, to the Most Masculine Man, because that's how she'll be afforded respect, in her mind. but she is a girl. and there's a part of her that likes being a girl, and wishes she could explore her femininity more than she's allowed herself to, beyond the confines of the beifong mansion. she keeps her hair long because she still loves her family and holds out hope that maybe one day they can accept her (she comes from a culture modeled off of tang dynasty china, so her long hair is likely a product of her adherence to confucian values). and once she embraces it, she genuinely does get into being made over at the fancy lady day spa.

femininity has been a genuinely harmful and repressive agent in toph's life, and it's understandable that she would internalize some misogynistic notions surrounding girl/womanhood as they were foisted onto her her entire childhood. but femininity isn't ontologically harmful. femininity isn't ontological, period. i think as toph gets older, and her friendship with katara grows deeper as they both come to be more honest with each other, she would grow to embrace her masculinity in a more organic and less compensatory way. less of a "i'm not like other girls" complex (which itself is not something that girls should be mocked and punished for, but rather a product of a patriarchal system that oppresses and alienates women, thus leading many less gender-conforming girls to attempt to assert their agency and individuality in any way they can, even if it means putting down others in the process), and more so genuinely coming to embrace her butchness. (you don't necessarily have to read her as a baby butch, of course, but considering that being a masculine girl is important to her, i think that's a really lovely and beautiful synthesis of her relationship to gender as a character.)

i think toph would learn stop pitting masculinity and femininity against each other, and instead embrace whatever aspects of either (or neither) she desires, while nonetheless respecting everyone else's deal in turn. i think she would also, in a key turning point, realize that even if she loves her parents, she doesn't have any obligation to be the daughter they expect her to be, and cuts her hair. and as she grows more secure in herself (which comes with age, no twelve year old is truly confident in their own skin), she would stop feeling the need to put other people down to feel big, and be comfortable embracing her desires. and, credit to her, she's clearly already on her way. the progress she makes being vulnerable, especially around sokka, even in what is chronologically a matter of months, is huge.

toph isn't just "badass" because she's strong and powerful. but rather, what makes her so powerful, at least to disabled viewers who see their struggles reflected in hers, is her ability to grow with her environment, allowing herself to admit help, and letting herself be loved. if you couldn't already tell, toph is incredibly important to me.

#smultronviol #asks #toph #analysis #katara&toph #sokka&toph #aang&toph #poppy beifong #god she just means so much to me..... #i was trying not to make this too personal but like. baby disabled dyke. god she is so important. #not that i'm butch. but i think she is :) #also some of those links are better than others but i included all of them anyway lol #realizing now that i actually talk about toph a lot... #anyway. thank you for this ask #i really really appreciate it and took a while responding specifically because i wanted to have time to be thorough #not that this is like. The definitive toph essay #but i hope what i wrote here resonated #because like i said. she means a lot to me and i truly do feel like very few ppl understand her fully #she is so important blind bandit numero uno campeon del mundo

[zegrvshvghes]

enemies to lovers with vince dunn? 👀

I crave you in the most innocent form-VD29

💙 a good enemies to lovers + vince and you are in university for the plot!

I've never been the kind of person to hold a grudge. I'm usually pretty easygoing and quick to forgive, but there's one person in my life who I just can't seem to get along with: Vince Dunn.

When Vince and I first met, I actually thought he was kind of cute. He had messy brown hair and these piercing blue eyes that seemed to look right through me. But as soon as he opened his mouth, I knew it was never going to work between us.

It started off small, with little jabs and sarcastic comments. But over time, our interactions grew more and more hostile. We were constantly bickering and arguing, and I could feel the tension between us every time we were in the same room.

Part of the problem is that Vince is just so arrogant. He thinks he's better than everyone else and doesn't hesitate to let you know it. He's always bragging about his achievements and talking down to those he thinks are below him. And for some reason, he seems to have a particular dislike for me.

I'm not sure what I ever did to him. Maybe it was something I said or did without even realizing it. But whatever the reason, Vince has made it clear that he can't stand me. He'll roll his eyes every time I speak and make snarky comments under his breath. And when we're forced to work together on a project or assignment, he'll intentionally sabotage my efforts just to make me look bad.

I've tried talking to him about it, but he just brushes me off like I'm not even worth his time. I've even considered going to a teacher or counselor for help, but I don't want to seem like a tattletale. Plus, I'm embarrassed that I can't seem to get along with someone who is supposedly my peer.

I sometimes wonder if Vince's hostility towards me is actually a cover-up for something else. Maybe he's struggling with issues at home or has some personal insecurities he's trying to hide. But then I see him acting perfectly normal and friendly with other people, and I realize that it's just me he can't stand.

It's not like I hate Vince, per se. I just can't stand the way he treats me. It's frustrating to constantly be on the receiving end of his animosity and to have no idea why he dislikes me so much. I try my best to ignore him and just focus on my own work, but it's hard when he's always there, lurking in the background and waiting for a chance to make some snide remark.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like if Vince and I could actually get along. Maybe we could even be friends. But I know that's never going to happen. There's just too much animosity between us, and I don't know how to bridge the gap.

As much as I hate to admit it, Vince's negative attitude towards me has started to dampen my own spirits. I find myself feeling irritated and angry more often, and sometimes I even snap at other people who don't deserve it. I don't like feeling this way, but I don't know how to shake it off.

I never thought I'd see the day where I could tolerate being around Vince Dunn, let alone willingly attend a party with him. But as fate would have it, that day came sooner than I expected.

It started when we were paired up for a group project in our English class. At first, I was dreading it. I couldn't bear the thought of being stuck with Vince for an extended period of time. But as we got to work on the project, I started to notice something different about him.

He wasn't as hostile towards me as he used to be. In fact, he was actually being sort of civil. He even cracked a few jokes that made me laugh. It was like he was a different person entirely.

I still didn't entirely trust him, but something had shifted in our dynamic. We were no longer constantly bickering and arguing. It was almost...pleasant.

We finished the project with minimal sniping, and I couldn't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for us to get along.

Fast forward to the party. I wasn't even considering going, but a mutual friend of ours convinced me to come along. When I arrived, I was surprised to see Vince there as well. He was hanging out with a group of guys, laughing and joking around.

I couldn't help but feel nervous as I saw Vince at the party. I knew he had been avoiding me lately, but I hoped that maybe tonight we could finally talk things out.

I saw him standing there with his arms crossed, glaring at me and the guy I was with. I could feel the tension in the air and my heart sank.

I knew I had to talk to him, to explain that the guy I was with was just a friend. But as soon as I tried to approach him, he turned his back on me, refusing to even acknowledge my presence.

It hurt to see him like this. He was acting like I had committed some kind of crime.

I tried to enjoy the party, but every time I looked over at Vince, I could see the anger in his eyes. I could tell he was angry, but I didn't know how to make it better.

I wanted to speak to him and possibly become friends maybe? but he was too angry and stubborn to listen. And I didn't know what else to do.

Stepping out onto the porch to get some fresh air. I sit down quietly, drunk and busy with my thoughts. I hear the door slide open again.

The face that’s been playing non stop in my brain appears. As Vince and I found ourselves on the porch, alone. We were both slightly tipsy, and all of a sudden I found myself feeling a strange attraction towards him. It was like I was seeing him in a whole new light.

He must have felt it too, because before I knew it, we were making out on the porch. It was messy and clumsy, but it felt...right.

I woke up the next morning feeling both relieved and terrified. I had just kissed the guy Im supposed to hate and I wasn't sure where it was going to take us.

Surprisingly, the next day in class it was like all the hostility between us had been replaced by something else. Something warmer and deeper.

#hockey #nhl #kraken #vince dunn #x reader #vince dunn x reader

[stoned-eren]

Can’t help but think about reader that isn’t interested in Obsessed Eren. She just… doesn’t like him like that, she doesn’t really like him that much as a person. She’s super nice but she doesn’t fuck with him. She also isn’t seeing anyone else and doesn’t plan on it because she’s ✨A holy starseed who is saving herself for her twin flame✨ and refuses to date some loser in college that won’t last a year. And she thinks of Eren in the same way, not only is he not her type physically, emotionally, or mentally. But he just seems lame to her. She’s to legit.

a/n: HELLO, hello! i am so sorry i've been so late with this, but i haven't forgotten you! in fact, i’ve been practicing my writing skills in anticipation for this ask hehe. :p i've been thinking about this since you've sent it, so much appreciated <3 you know i love me some obsessive eren. i hope u enjoy!

content: MDNI, obsessive themes, yandere behavior? (not really), gn! reader, college setting!, alcohol, angst, a teeny tiny bit of fluff, eren is a big softie in this one, mean reader? (kinda/not really) word count: 4.8k (IM SORRY)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

maybe it was just his hair.

or maybe, it was his lazy, glazed appearance.

hell, maybe it was just everything about him.

his personality certainly wasn't obnoxious or anything. he was quiet, seemed to keep to himself, and didn’t really pester you all too much.

but there was something about him that you slightly disliked. you weren’t even sure what it was. maybe it was just the fact that you just couldn’t connect with him- not mentally, not emotionally, not spiritually. you didn’t see much in him.

your eyes flittered over to eren jeager, the man you were just criticizing in your head. he was sitting in his usual spot in the lecture hall, which happened to be right next to your usual spot. leaning over his side of the desk, strands of his messy brown hair slumped down, the rest tied up in a slackly bun. he was wearing a large, baggy hoodie, the same hoodie he always wore, even if it was scorching hot outside. in your eyes, he was just… average. nothing really stood out to you about him; it was if he was like any other guy in your class.

from the corner of his eye, eren noticed your eyes flicker onto his face, and he felt his skin crawl. he hitched his breath, just barely. were you staring at him? eren glanced up from his lecture notes, seemingly not even taking any notes to begin with; a messily drawn sketch of a large dinosaur scribbled on his paper. he tried to hide the drawing as he turned his head to look at you, wondering if you needed something from him.

really though, eren would use any excuse he could just to interact with you.

to put it frankly, eren was desperate for you. at first, eren treated you like he would any other classmate; he ignored you, seemingly too overwhelmed with his life to focus on anybody else. but as the months slipped by, the two of you growing accustomed to sitting next to each other in multiple classes, several days a week, he had gotten to know bits of you. and god, he just adored you.

you were so sweet to him.

eren didn’t know it, but you were sweet to everyone. you were just being polite, after all. even if you disliked eren, just a little bit, you had no reason to be rude to him. so, you smiled at him, giggled with him, and treated him like you would any other acquaintance.

 but for eren- fuck, it was so frustrating.

eren was bordering on obsession. he knew that spending almost every day in your presence, you so very close to him, definitely didn’t help ease that compulsion. every time you sat next to him, he was be able to smell hints of you, see the glossiness of your lips, the softness in your eyes.

eren just didn’t know how you felt, though. in his mind, he wanted to convince himself that you liked him back, just too shy to admit it. and eren didn’t know how to admit it either. so, here you two were, in some sort of back-and-forth limbo that left eren pulling out his hair. he had to comfort himself every night while he laid in bed, reassuring himself that you must have some affection, any affection for him. after all, you were just so sweet to him.

eren tried to stop himself. he really did. as if like clockwork, he told himself that he’d be good- he’d be over you. every day, he told himself that. but whenever you’d walk into class, dropping your bag on the floor, and giving him a tired, shy smile- he couldn’t help but imagine waking up to that face; to see you in your unmatched, natural beauty. whenever he thought he could break away from your grasp, you pulled him back in, not even trying.

eren must have imagined you staring at him. when he turned his head to look at you, you were seemingly focused on your lecture notes, diligently scribbling down whatever the professor was saying.

you could feel eren staring at you as you took your notes. it irked you, just a little bit. why did he feel the need to stare at you all the time? you didn’t even understand why he came to class, asking you for homework or lecture notes almost daily. instead of focusing on his studies, he opted to spending his time drawing or going on his phone when he was in class. you glanced at the dinosaur drawing in his notebook. you felt your skin pricking up as his gaze never ceased, watching you from the corner of his eye. just barely.

the professor stopped his lecturing mid-sentence, casually checking his phone. he frowned upon the sight of what you assumed was a notification.

“sorry class,” he says, swiping his phone, walking over to his desk and gathering his supplies. “something just came up, lecture’s over.”

some students immediately get up upon hearing that class is cut short, quickly beelining it to the exit. you’re one of those students, hastily gathering your supplies and stuffing them into your bag, not even looking back at eren as you leave. today had been a particularly bad day for you; too many things going wrong all at once. you didn’t have much energy to deal with eren’s antics.

you confused him so much. you were so sweet and kind. but then there were times where you would treat him like this, not even saying goodbye to him, seemingly just wanting to get away from him. eren just didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand.

he felt a small twinge in his heart as he watched you walk out the door and into the corridor.

- - -

since lecture was cut short, you decided to spend your free time with one of your best friends, sasha. she was laying on a bean bag in your room, flipped upside down as she snacked on potato chips. you had to remind her not to lay like that, since she’s choked several times in the past laying in that exact position, on that exact bean bag.

while sasha’s munching on her chips, her eyes grow bright as she seems to come to a realization.

“oh! there’s a party tonight!” sasha swallowed, crumbs of fried potato falling down her lips as she flipped around, standing up quickly. “you gotta come, you just have to. it’s gonna be hugeeeee.”

you groan, just slightly. parties weren’t really your thing, especially huge ones. you always felt out of place. sasha knew that very well.

“cmon,” sasha whines. “you’re never out of class this early- it could be fun; you could meet somebody.” she says, her voice teasingly playful, raising her eyebrows at you.

“yeah, no, i’m not really into that, the ‘meeting’ someone thing,” you say, giving air quotes around the word ‘meeting’. you knew what sasha meant by that. you thought hard before you spoke. “but i’ll go. for you, sasha.” you clarify, poking your friend on her forehead. she snorts, delighted by your response.

before you know it, you’re at the party, coming up to the house of some stranger; a large, fancy mansion. it’s littered with people, some drunk, some sober, as crowds enter and exit the house. you try to adjust your outfit for some decency, sasha making you wear something you normally wouldn’t say yes to. you’re a little glad you agreed to wear this outfit though, as you soon realize that everyone around you is littered in slightly nicer clothes than you. sasha is grabbing you by your wrist, almost dragging you into the mansion.

you’re already uncomfortable. it’s absolutely packed in here. you could feel the heat from all the bodies in the room, some more sweaty than others as they danced to the blaring music that was playing.

you and sasha walked around for a bit, trying to find anyone you guys recognized. sasha found a group of her friends, people you didn’t really know, and began to socialize with them. you stood a little way away from sasha’s friend group, awkwardly listening to them share inside jokes and tell stories about one another.

after talking with her friends for quite some time, sasha made her way back to you, a couple of her friends still with her. while leaning against a wall, you were scrolling on your phone, nothing to do as you wished you were home right now. you looked up at sasha, seemingly relieved that she was back. but before you could say anything to her, she was already turned around, heading off in the other direction while her friends seemed to drag her away.

“sasha-!“ you have to yell to be heard over the noise.

“let me get us some drinks!” sasha called out to you, curtly turning her head around to look at you. her brunette hair was the only thing you saw as she disappeared into the crowd of people. great. she left, again.

you instinctively held onto yourself, seemingly recognizing no one at this party. as you waited for sasha, it felt like a few minutes passed by. then ten, then twenty. at this point your back was against a wall, just waiting for your friend to come back. eventually, you decided to just text her.

“dude, where are you? “ 8:15 PM

“SASHAAAAA” 8:18 PM

“omg” 8:26 PM

“how could you do this to me :’(“ 8:32 PM

you sighed, stuffing your phone back into your bag and waiting for your friend to respond. you eventually decided to seek out the booze yourself, going into the kitchen and pouring yourself a cup of fruity looking punch. after all, if you were going to be at a party, you might as well enjoy it, even if you were alone.

you made your way into the backyard, a huge, luscious space that stretched out to every corner of your peripheral. the backyard was much emptier than the inside of the mansion, small groups of people casually chatting instead of the crowds of people chaotically screaming and bumping into you inside. you sipped on your drink as you sat in one of the fancy, structured chairs in the corner of the backyard, hearing the muffled music play from inside the house. it reverberated the mansion. you let the cool night air hit your skin, just trying to feel any semblance of peace right now, being undeniably very stressed.

- - -

eren wasn’t one for parties. but this night was one of the biggest parties of the year, making it hard to pass up. he figured he could use the escape, doing anything he could to not think of you. eren was in the kitchen of the mansion, taking shots with his friends. he needed to forget you. what better way than to drink his worries away, he figured. just this once.

he took a shot, and another shot, and another shot with his friends, feeling his inhibitions slip away. as his inebriation started to settle in, his mind seemingly ended up wandering back to thoughts of you, a painstakingly common occurrence for him. he felt so lonely in this crowd of people. none of them were like you, none of them could ever be like you. you were so sweet, so gentle and kind to him. he felt his heart surge upon thinking of you; only you.

it was only you.

eren didn’t seem to notice whenever you would return from outside, clamoring your way back into the house for whatever reason. as if the timing was off, his back would be turned to you, busy talking with his friends every time you made your way back into the mansion, pouring yourself cup after cup of the punch. each time you got up to get more punch, you could feel yourself wobble more, struggle more.

the night began to get darker as you sat outside, finally coming to the conclusion that you weren’t getting a response from sasha. you had texted her a few more times, but whenever she got drunk, she seemed to forget that her phone existed. figuring she was with her group of friends, you stood up from the seat you had been cushioned in, ready to go home and prepare yourself for another weekend of studying. you stumbled slightly as you got up, not realizing that drinking four cups of that punch would get you this drunk.

everything was hard to see. you looked at your phone, the letters on your screen practically moving, making it hard to focus and type. you sent a quick text to sasha.

“in ggong jhome! :D” 9:36 PM

it was supposed to read, “i’m going home.” close enough, you figured.

you made your way back into the mansion, stumbling through crowds of people, using some random strangers as leverage so you wouldn’t fall. you finally got to the front door, which was cracked wide open, letting you slip out the mansion and into the night.

the walk wasn’t too far, so you figured you could make it on your own.

when you walked into the kitchen, drunkenly stumbling towards the exit, eren’s eyes glowed. you walked by eren, seemingly not even noticing him. it was too hard to pay attention to him though, there were crowds of people, and you were very, very drunk. but eren noticed you. he wondered how long you had been here, what you were even doing here to begin with. were you talking to anybody? flirting with them? the very idea made eren panic. if he knew that you’d be here, he would have spent more time looking for you. he couldn’t look away from you, his mind racing as he was enamored by your effortless charm.

eren noticed that you were wearing a rather cute outfit, one that accentuated the flawless features of your body. it was something he didn’t really see you in too often, if, at all. he also noticed the way you stumbled, losing your footing on seemingly nothing as you bumped into strangers, giggling apologizes at them. god, you looked drunk.

now on his 6th shot, eren couldn’t even think properly. he figured he could say hi to you- that wouldn’t be weird, right? even if it was just a three second conversation, it mattered to eren. every second, every moment with you counted. upon seeing you start to leave, eren made his way out the door, curtly saying goodbye to his friends, just trying to catch up with you. you were just a little faster than him though. as he finally made it to the front door of the mansion, he saw you disappear off into the night on foot, no friends around you.

wait- were you walking home by yourself? in your drunken state?

no- eren wouldn’t let you. who knows what could happen to you? eren wouldn’t take that risk, not even slightly. you needed him right now. briskly, he began to walk in the direction he saw you last. he was rather drunk himself, so he struggled to walk as he attempted to catch up with you, not even seeing where he was stepping. but his strides were long, his footsteps fast; so, he caught up to you in a short amount of time.

you were walking down an isolated street; you hadn’t seen a single car come by so far. the road was long, stretching out farther than you could see, but it led directly to your college. you now realized that the walk was going to be more time consuming than you expected. as you looked up into the sky, there were large, cheap street lights towering above you, lined up haphazardly along the sidewalk. you were trying your best to walk in a straight line, just in case a car did come by- you had to appear as sober as you could. but you couldn’t, you couldn’t walk normally at all.

your ears perked up at the sound of your name being called. your head spun around as you turned to find the source of the noise. the world was spinning, so you couldn’t really see who it was from afar. you should have been more alarmed, but in your drunken state, all you did was watch as the figure approached you, body tensed up. eventually, your eyes relaxed slightly when you realized who it was, eren lightly jogging up to you, trying to catch up to you. you didn’t recognize him without his hoodie and sweats on, wearing a nice flannel and jeans instead. as he walked up to you, the golden light from the street lamp highlighted his features.

“hey. i saw you at the party- you’re walking home by yourself this late at night?” eren said to you, his voice full of concern and dripping with intoxication. he breathed softly, as if he was out of breath. you paid him no mind.

“yes, i am. my house is like, right here, so…” you trailed off, slurring your words.

you were obviously lying. there was nothing around you and eren but roads and a sidewalk, no homes anywhere near the path you were taking. were you sure you were going the right way?

you fully expected eren to part ways with you now, not knowing what he could possibly need from you. you turned back around, and continued to march home, almost tripping over your own feet.

“wait-“ eren stammered, his pace picking up with yours. “are you sure that’s safe?”

you glanced at him silently, but kept walking.

he followed you, continuing. “it’s just- well, there’s a lot of petty crime around here, you should be careful. i-if you want, maybe i can-”

why was he doubting you? did he think you weren’t able to make it home? in your drunken state, you let out some of your annoyance with him, some of the bottled-up feelings you had for him spilling out.

“eren-“ you breath, cutting the boy off and stopping in your tracks. “i’m fine- you really think i can’t walk home?”

“it’s not that, i just- i don’t think you should be alone right now,“ he began, stammering as he spoke.

you huff, clearly exasperated. “and why’s that? i can take care of myself.”

eren’s eyes widened. he felt himself panic, just slightly, unable to understand why it was a bad thing for him to take care of you. “i… well i just…” he murmured, quieting his voice as he seemed to be unable to speak.

you were getting annoyed.

“you just what?” you finally snap, “how did you even know i was walking? were you following me?” you say in an accusatory tone.

eren feels his anxiety surge. what were you insinuating about him? did you really think he was a bad guy? but… would it be bad if he did follow you?

he goes quiet, knowing that anything he says won’t satisfy you. you keep going.

“it’s creepy,” you say, your eyes shooting daggers at him. eren feels his heart drop upon hearing you say those words. it echoes in his brain.

him, creepy?

“i… i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to bother you.” eren said, his eyes darting away from you. he wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong, but he was irritating you, he was scaring you. and he didn’t like it. the two of you stood on the sidewalk, the buzz of the street light filling the harsh silence in the air as it illuminated above you. eren’s expression saddened, like a hurt puppy, as he stared at the floor, not able to meet your gaze.

you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt in your heart, regretting snapping at the man. after all, was he really doing anything wrong? you quickly realized you were just letting out pent up frustrations at him. you knew eren, you knew him well. and you knew he wasn’t like that. you bit your lip, thinking of a way you could fix this.

“n-no, wait. eren, i’m sorry,” you finally say, your voice genuine and remorseful. eren looks up at you, his expression so saddened, so lonely, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him, pitying him. “that wasn’t right of me to say.”

“oh. it’s okay,” eren says. he gives you a weak smile, one mixed with hurt and anguish.

you look at him for a second, the dim yellow light from the street lamp mixing with eren’s eyes. he looked so tired, you noted. you could see the melancholy on his face as he looked into your eyes, searching for something. unsure of what he could want, you slowly turned around, continuing your walk down the road.

eren followed you, his steps a few feet away from yours. whenever you wondered if he left, you could hear his shoes clack against the sidewalk, indicating that he was still following you. you decided not to say anything, not wanting to hurt him for inconceivably no reason again.

eren was lost in thought. you had never gotten that mad at him before, let alone said anything so harsh to him before. what did he do? was it wrong to want to protect you? didn’t you want him to protect you?

he just wanted you to be alright. he would never forgive himself if he knew something happened to you, knowing he could have prevented it. he swallowed his thoughts, his intoxication still very apparent in his body.

he walked, you not once looking back to see if he was still there, still tripping on your own feet. without realizing it, his ideal world of you started to crumble. there were cracks in the foundation; seeds of uncertainty planted inside of eren’s head.

you were doing it again, treating him as if he was a pesky little bug that wouldn’t leave you alone. a wave of sorrow hit him, his life feeling aimless at the mere thought of you not interested in him, or even worse, hating him. what would he do at that point? what if that came true?

eren was getting so, so tired. he just wanted to tell you how much you meant to him, how much he needed you in his life. he felt incomplete without you, as if he was a puzzle missing a piece. there was an emptiness in his heart, one that he knew could be so lovingly and tenderly mended by you.

he needed to tell you. he needed to do it, he had to do it, before these feelings consumed his very essence.

neither one of you spoke to each other as you made the long journey home, both of you seemingly lost in thought. you stopped when you got the complex of your dormitories, deep into the late hours of the night. your feet were sore, walking for what seemed like miles. you turned to eren, not wanting him to go any further.

“see? told you i’d make it here no problem,” you voice slightly slurs as you tell eren, as if trying to prove something to him. you sobered up from your walk, just barely. you could walk in a somewhat straight line now, at least.

he gave you a small smile. he seemed so distracted. as you said goodnight to him, turning around to disappear into the night, eren wrapped his fingers around your arm, gently stopping you in your tracks.

“wait…” eren said, the sadness leaving his face; a soft expression replacing his pain. he focused his eyes on you, his blue-green irises shining bright. “i’ve been wanting to tell you something.”

curiously, you looked at him as he let go of your arm. you stared at him with beautiful eyes as eren hesitated, unsure of how he could phrase his next sentence.

he just went for it.

he breathed. “i like you. like, a lot.”

you just stared at him.

why didn’t you say anything?

he stammered his next sentence, unable to read any indication of feeling in your face as you blankly gazed at him. “i was wondering if you would want to go out sometime-“

“oh eren, i’m sorry. i can’t.�� you flatly reply, making eren’s heart twinge.

he felt like his world was falling apart as you turned him down, casting him aside like he was just some inconvenience in your life. you could see just how utterly crushed he was, biting his lip harshly, as if punishing himself for even trying to ask you out. his eyes darkened, the brightness fading from them as he stood there, frozen in place, his heart pounding as you rejected him.

you felt yourself having to explain, trying to let him down softly. “i just- i’m saving myself for the right person. i don’t want a relationship that’s not going to last-“

“we could last,” he commented, as he looked at you with pure pain. “i know we could.” his voice was barely a whisper.

“e-eren, i…” you stammer, a little flustered.

eren says your name, looking into your eyes as if he’s pleading with you, so desperately wanting a chance with you.

“i’d give you everything. you’d be my everything…” eren said, trying to soothe himself with his words. “so please…”

“i’m sorry eren, i just… i just can’t.” you tell him.

“oh…” he trails off.

“…i’ll be waiting, for as long as it takes.” eren said. he paused before he spoke again. “forever, if i need to…”

you would never admit it, not even to yourself, but a tiny blush spread across your face from his words. he was undoubtedly, a little sweet. even though you disliked him, just a little.

eren sadly said goodbye to you, fully intending on skipping class on monday so he didn’t have to go through the shame and embarrassment of seeing you. eren stood there as you left. you walked deeper into the dormitory complexes, finally getting back home after a long day.

eren watched you as you walked away, the tip of your head disappearing down the hill into the complexes. he walked back out the complex, his heart pounding, trying to calm his thoughts.

he did it- he finally confessed- but you didn’t.

he sat on the closest planter he could find, balling his fists into his head, a migraine coming on. he covered his face as small tears formed in his eyes. he wondered what was wrong with him. was it his personality- his appearance? what were you looking for? he could be anything, if it meant you were there with him. eren’s thoughts stilled, his eyes wet with tears as he slid his hands down his face.

he’d wait forever, if he had to. he told you that, and he meant it. for there was no one eren would ever love besides you.

but maybe now was not the time.

nor would it ever be.

maybe he was just meant to love you. maybe you weren’t meant to love him.

you shut your bedroom, kneeling against the door, thinking deeply. your thoughts traveled to eren, your mind unable to not think about him. you realized just how nervous you were now, your palms sweaty and your legs shaking. as you replayed his confession in your brain, you noted how soft his eyes looked when he gazed upon you. his words just seemed so genuine, so truthful; his voice wavering as he silently begged you for just a moment, a chance with you.

you thought of eren as you laid in bed, seemingly sleeping for a few hours, arriving home far too late. you thought of eren as you studied through the weekend, your notes not even making sense to you as you were so distracted. you thought of eren as you walked into your lecture hall days later, a small skip of your heart as you noticed that eren wasn’t here today. you thought of eren as you went home, walking as you imagined him behind you, his footsteps just barely out of sync with yours; reminding you of the day he confessed. you thought of him as you cooked and cleaned. you thought of him the next day, and the day after that.

eren seemingly stopped showing up to class, the last time you saw him was over two weeks ago. you heard from your mutual friends that eren dropped out of his classes. you couldn’t help but think about him, your mind always going back to his confession. what if you had said yes?

you couldn’t help but wonder.

there was a small stab of guilt in your heart every time someone mentioned eren. you felt a little more aimless each day you went into lectures, knowing he wouldn’t be there. you started to sketch small drawings of dinosaurs in your notebook, a little reminder of him.

you didn’t like him, though.

…right?

#i hope you like it im sorry its so long #i cried writing it lol #ask #anon #eren #eren jeager #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #eren x yn #eren x you #eren x reader #fluff #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #angst #light angst #attack on titan angst #obsessive!eren #obsessive eren #writing.exe

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Fic - Since Beardo Philip has at least one evil bone in his body, I think it would be fun to see him and a Reader pretend he's a villain capturing a prince or princess. He lifts the Reader over his shoulder and carries them into his hideout cave like it's his evil lair. Reader plays along by helplessly kicking their legs in the air though they secretly enjoy being carried.

The Prince / Princess of the Boiling Isles (Beardo Philip x Pretend! Prince / Princess Reader)

The Boiling Isles considered you to be their most beautiful prince / princess.

Why?

Because you were responsible, always helping others when you could.

You were compassionate, even towards those who displayed cruelty.

You demonstrated complete respect for the Titan and did everything in your power to protect the environment and the people you loved.

You enjoyed the world around you and found happiness in everything you did.

Rather than dismissing someone as a bad person, you opted to help them improve when they were facing difficulties.

You followed your heart and carried out what was right.

You searched for understanding and peace in disputes and conflicts and ensured that everyone was treated fairly in the end.

You showed bravery in confronting your problems.

Your dreams were made a reality by your hard work.

You never judged a book by it's cover.

No matter what happened, you never gave up.

You took love at a slow pace and embraced your unique talents.

But most importantly, you were true to who you were.

Your inner beauty illuminated like a light thanks to all those positive traits and aspects.

...

One day, after completing your "chores" in the totally real "castle" that you lived in, you decided to take a nice walk in the woods.

After being cramped "indoors" all day, you were craving some fresh air.

Putting on your favorite leisure outfit, you headed out the "castle" doors.

...

During your small stroll, you passed by a bush and paused when you heard rustling coming from it.

You let out a small giggle in your hand, assuming it was one of your animal pals playing a game.

However, you were wrong when a man jumped out, causing you to jump and squeal in surprise.

Your eyes were curiously fixed on him, your mouth slightly agape.

What was he doing in that shrub and who was he?

The man's hair, long and brown, was tied in a messy ponytail, and he had a mustache and beard.

He also wore a blue coat as well as a sinister smile on his face.

Looking you up and down, the man began to twirl his mustache like a stereotypical villain, which "scared" you as you tried not to laugh.

"So, you're that prince / princess that I've been hearing about," He hummed softly, wasting no time to lift you over his shoulder as you squeaked.

"You're coming with me!" He declared, quickly taking off with you as he laughed his diabolical laugh.

You were now his.

"Nooo!" You cried out dramatically, "helplessly" kicking your feet.

How could this monster kidnap you?

"What's the matter, prince / princess? Not keen on coming with me?" The man asked, letting out a devilish laugh.

"No, I'm not! Let me go! Let me go, you foul fiend!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he insisted.

"Now, be a good little captive or I'll feed you to a Stonesleeper. I heard they have a strong craving for princes / princesses, especially cute ones such as yourself."

"Nooo! Someone help me!" You cried out again, but no one came to your aid.

Poor you.😔

When the two of you arrived at the "evil lair" (it was really just his cave), he began doing the most diabolical thing one could ever do to someone... he started covering your cheeks with loving kisses.

His facial hair caused you to giggle as it tickled your skin.

Persuading Philip to join you on this may have been challenging, but you're pleased that you managed to do it.

#(he's literally just the ic/e ki/ng from early adven/ture tim/e kidnapping princesses and taking them to his lair) #(ALSO 😭😭😭 I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ANON) #the owl house #owl house #toh #emperor belos #belos #philip wittebane #beardo philip #moldy crumpet husbando #belosfanstakeover #x reader #ask #asks #anon #anonymous #request #fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #fanfictions #writing #my writing

[imtryingmybeskar]

Come Home Chapter Fifteen.

Joel Miller x F! Reader

Word count - 3,883.

To celebrate (or more accurately mourn) the end of the series, I've decided to drop this chapter a little early. Chapter Sixteen will be coming at the allotted time.

The aftermath of what didn't happen, a further insight into reader's past and Joel acting very strangely...

Come Home

Chapter Fifteen- ...But Not For Me And You

Understandably, the horses have been made nervous by the rolling thunder. Their eyes are showing their whites, their ears are back and they’re skittish and stamping nervously by the time you and Joel get to them and soothe their worries.

“Reckon we better set up camp,” Joel says as he looks at the sky, the rain continuing to hiss down around you. “It’ll get darker sooner tonight.”

You nod your agreement and lead the horses away from the main path into an area that is marginally clearer of trees. A large boulder with an overhang seems to be a logical place to settle for the night, and you begin to unpack the tent in the lee of the rockface. You’re even more thankful that you thought to bring the large sheets of plastic from the bowels of the museum, as these make a handy additional groundsheet upon which to place your tent. Joel meanwhile takes care of the horses, calming them with soft words and pats and giving them small pieces of carrot and apple as treats. You’re working together in your usual quick and seamless way, but he has not looked at you in a good fifteen minutes and a feeling of acid dread is settling into your stomach.

What the fuck was that? Joel had always been friendly and kind, and yes, if you were honest with yourself you had indulged the thought on more than one occasion that his eyes sometimes lingered on your face in a more tender and heated way than would signify an intent of strict friendship, but it had never gone beyond that. Well…there was the occasional handholding too in certain situations, and the closeness you had shared after the winter dance, but these things were all contextual. You had never even come close to what had nearly just happened before. Should you ignore it? Continue like nothing had ever happened? Or bring it up, ask him what he was thinking…though that would mean asking yourself the same question and your feelings right now were a complete mess.

You had wanted him to kiss you, no doubt about it. But why? Where could that ever lead? Everyone knew that everyone died sooner or later, and you didn’t think you could bear to open up to yet another person only to have them taken away. But was it really that deep? Could you not just…have fun, slake that thirst that you so seldom even acknowledged that you had? You couldn’t be sure that your feelings for Joel wouldn’t make an arrangement like that incredibly messy, though, especially if he didn’t feel the same way. Besides, that was how it had started with Jacob. And that had ended in heartbreak and madness and blood and having to put him down like a rabid animal before he could infect you. You swallow hard at the bile that rises from the memory and mixes jarringly with your current anxiety, and focus on finishing erecting the tent instead.

Though it is still raining heavily, the thunder is already rolling away to the west, its crashing becoming ever fainter and further apart and the horses are now standing peaceably in the shelter the rock formation offers. While you’re grateful that you won’t have to calm them all night, you can’t help feeling a little resentful too. It had been such bad timing. Or…possibly good timing. You still weren’t clear on that particular point.

A sudden thought makes you freeze where you stand. How the fuck were you supposed to get out of your wet clothes? You knew for a fact both of you had only brought one pair of jeans each and you had no desire to stand out in the rain in your underwear while Joel made himself presentable, nor any wish to make him do the same.

You screw up your courage and initiate conversation.

“Uhhh…how are we going to work this? I mean, dealing with the wet clothes,” you add hurriedly, feeling heat in your face.

“You got any more of them plastic sheets? Could lay ‘em out on there under the shelter. Hope they dry a little by tomorrow.”

Not what you had meant, but you were now too embarrassed to pursue the matter, so you nod your agreement and lay the plastic on the ground as close to the rock as you can before taking off your boots and putting them on there. He gestures for you to go ahead into the tent, and you feel a momentary relief that he seems to have taken this ridiculous yet seemingly insurmountable problem away, before he enters behind you.

“What are you doing?” you blurt out, a little more roughly than you had intended in your shock.

“Well I ain’t strippin’ out there,” he replies, his own voice tinged with a touch of annoyance.

“No, I don’t want you to. But…but…” He’s looking at you, waiting for a solution that will never come, and you fold, dropping to your knees to root around in the saddlebags for the driest things you own.

“Gotta bring a towel next time,” you mutter as you begin to peel off your shirt.

“Yep,” he says shortly, and the rustling of his sleeping bag and location of his voice lets you know that he is turned away from you to change.

While it is a large tent it is not enormous, and you find yourself jostling Joel’s cool, damp skin on occasion as you manoeuvre. You’re soaked through all your layers, and you pray he doesn’t suddenly turn around as you lay flat on the floor to remove your jeans and underwear before hurriedly putting a new pair on and scrambling into your sleeping bag. His naked back is also incredibly distracting. You can see the ripples of hard-fought muscle, the freckles on his skin, the broadness of his shoulders and the slimness of his waist, and you force yourself to look away. It wasn’t fair if you were gawping at him when he was being so polite about the whole thing. You ensure that you turn away while he is busy with his own jeans, only looking around once the rustling sounds of his sleeping bag cease. And then there’s only the sound of the rain pattering incessantly upon the tent.

After nipping outside under the protective layer of your sleeping bag and laying your clothes out to dry you share some jerky and fruit – rations that require no cooking – and the awkwardness builds and builds. You hadn’t realised quite how comfortable silences with Joel were until they weren’t. The oppression in the tent is becoming unbearable, but unless you want your currently dry garments to also become saturated, you’re stuck here.

Finally, when you feel hot and flustered and like your skin is itching to crawl off your bones, you can’t take the mounting pressure anymore.

“So…are we going to talk about what that was back there?”

His dark eyes flick to you but you can find nothing telling in their depths now.

“Or we can just pretend like nothing happened and get on with our lives,” you shrug, desperately hoping you sounded as casual as you wanted to be right now.

Joel heaves a sigh and looks down at the remnants of the food in his hand. When he speaks his voice is low and measured.

“I don’t know what happened. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” His eyes come to yours again, and this time there’s a spark of his usual wry humour within. The relief you feel at the small joke makes you smile too and suddenly the tension is punctured, releasing slowly bit by bit.

“A moment of madness,” you offer.

“What can I say? After seein’ you on that dinosaur, I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Joel Miller likes warrior women. Shouldn’t come as a surprise,” you chuckle.

“Well, I’ll admit I was a Xena fan.”

This time you laugh properly and he joins you, the pressure dissipating entirely. It feels better. It’s just you and Joel again.

He keeps his smile as he talks, softening the intensity of his words. “I know you can’t think of that stuff. And honestly since Tess-“ he inhales deeply and you can see the steadying effect it has upon him “-I don’t know that I can either.” You feel a flash of dismay in your heart and try to tamp it down. It was unfair of you to be disappointed by him saying that, given that you were the one that had set that particular parameter to begin with.

“We were together nearly fifteen years,” he continues softly, and your mouth drops open at the revelation. He continues, studiously now not looking at you gaping at him. “She was the one…with Ellie. And I never…I couldn’t…I WISH…“

“Joel, it’s okay,” you say, taking the burden of speaking from him. “I know it’s stupid to say but I-I think I understand.”

“I know you do,” he murmurs, still looking down at his sleeping bag with apparent fascination.

You did. You really did. And you wanted to go to him, to hold him close and let him know that he wasn’t alone and that he never would be again. That he had Ellie and Tommy and Maria and yes, he had you too, much as it was a terrifying notion. From that very first day he had stood out among the crowd by the stables he had you, and though so much was holding you back from telling him exactly what beautiful changes he had wrought in your life, you wanted him to know that you trusted him. That you believed he would always understand, that he would never judge. And that you would do the same for him. But you can’t make yourself breach the gap between you, physically tiny though it may be. So you offer what you can. Another piece of you that no one had ever had.

“I er…well…my thing. That guy. Jacob.” At your words, Joel raises his head again and looks at you, cautious interest in his expression.

“He helped me escape the Helena QZ. It was bad there. It was really bad. Grew smaller every year, and not just because of the infected. I mean FEDRA are a joke everywhere, but these guys didn’t even pretend to be a legit government after a while. Torture, rape, murder, extortion. All the joys of a military dictatorship without even providing the protection of one.” You swallow hard and look down at your hands.

“One night some of them came for me. I’d been useful. Kept the infected numbers down in the surrounding area, scouting for supplies, the usual. But they decided they’d rather have something I wasn’t willing to give. At that point Jacob and I hadn’t been together long – six months or so, though I’d seen him around before that.” You look back up at Joel and when you speak again, your voice is soft and tinged with a pain you thought you had buried.

“We killed them. All the ones that came that night. Then we stole their shit and we ran. Kept each other alive. Kept each other sane.” He nods, and you see that he understands completely. Whomever Tess had been, you had no doubt that he had found a similar spirit to Jacob in her.

“We made it to Idaho, to Boise. Christ, that was a fuckin’ mess. QZ was long gone, infected had taken it. But we were desperate. Needed food, needed medicine. I’d gotten sick from something – bad food or bad water - and while I could just about travel, I wasn’t exactly at my best. We stayed away from the hospital, went to a retirement home instead, hoping to find stuff there. It was…it was bad. At that point, bloaters were just rumours – an urban myth almost - but I’m pretty sure there was one in there somewhere, with the amount of spores and shit.” You inhale shakily.

“We didn’t realise until it was too late. His mask. Just…wear and tear. It had just worn out. There was a tiny rip in it and we weren’t careful enough when we checked it. He started coughing. And coughing. And then the twitching started and then…”

You trailed off, not needing to verbalise the rest. Not to someone like Joel. You suddenly realise he’s moved as you’ve been talking, that he was able to breach that gap that you couldn’t and that his arm has come around you, his hand lying comfortingly in the middle of your back. Your face is wet, though you don’t remember shedding any tears. You push them away, scrubbing the salt water into your skin and your next words sound very far away to your ears.

“He was only there because of me. Because it was so damn important that I get back to Portland. If I had just let it go. If I had just stopped…”

A sharp pain breaks into your concentration and you realise you’re digging your nails firmly into your palm, stopping yourself from saying any more.

He waits until he’s sure that you’re not going to continue, and then he speaks gently and carefully.

“Can’t blame yourself. This world is greedy. Takes everything and then takes what’s left. No matter how careful you are. You were right when you told Ellie that everybody dies. We just gotta try to protect what’s important.”

His words are of little comfort, but the fact that he’s trying is, so you nod and collect yourself, drinking some water and forcing yourself to finish your food.

The evening ends in peace and tranquillity, the both of you reading by the light of an electric lamp with the soothing patter of the now-gentle rain on the tent. Joel tries to insist upon taking first watch, but you decline, your head still too full of the days events to begin to contemplate proper rest right now. You leave him to sleep, going outside still ensconced in your sleeping bag and with his rifle in hand to sit upon a corner of the plastic on the ground. You attempt to clear your thoughts, to keep your head clear of both the past and the possibilities that lie a few metres to your left. But no matter how much you try, the memory of his warm hand cupping your face and his beautiful eyes staring so covetously just won’t be dislodged.

By the time Joel comes to relieve you of your watch the rain is merely a fine mist of drizzle that crosses the landscape, causing the horizon beyond the trees to be smudged and blurry like a watercolour painting. He seems even more taciturn than usual, but you assume he’s just tired and you rescue your now merely damp jeans before settling into the tent. Your last thoughts before you slide into sleep are of Joel and the hope that tomorrow will bring more clarity to your swirl of thoughts and feelings about what had transpired.

The morning dawns fresh and beautiful and Joel stays true to his word, waking you up to witness the early morning dew and birdsong that permeates the forest. You chatter, a little. The usual small things about being grateful to get back, plotting your course home, wincing at the taste of the now almost completely watered-down coffee, but something is off with him you can tell. He’s more reserved, more distant than he has been for the past few months. Back to being the strong, near-silent Ruggedly Handsome of your first couple of weeks in Jackson. You chalk it up to tiredness, or perhaps the desire to get back and see Ellie, but there is a tautness between you, an echo of what had been in the tent before you had begun to talk about what had happened by the stream. The longer it goes on, the more you begin to find yourself feeling a little resentful. You had made the move to relieve the tension the previous night. You had shared a part of those memories that ghosted constantly through your mind, shared things you never had before. That he wouldn’t even attempt to talk to you normally now rankled. And so the dull, heavy silences stretch between you, the ride home seeming all the longer for them.

Since you had cleared the paths so recently the ride back to Jackson takes a lot less time than the journey out, with only one overnight stop and two days of riding. Joel asks along the way if you want to slow the pace to be more comfortable, but the truth is that you just want to get back to the town as soon as possible. The atmosphere between you is becoming almost unbearable. Joel is still polite when he does talk to you, but there’s a discernible distance in his eyes and in his demeanour. Those shutters have come down again and he’s locking you out. You try rationalise to yourself that it's for the best. That what had occurred was clearly an anomaly and would not be repeated, and it was right that you put some literal and metaphorical space between you for a while until you could move on from it. But it hurt. Fuck, it hurt more than you thought it would. And more so when your brain begins to throw up questions about if he’s embarrassed by the whole thing. That he now knew that you found him attractive and had discovered that he did not reciprocate those feelings, no matter if he thought he once had. You even begin to question if you had seen those lingering looks, that heated desire. Perhaps they had merely been the fiction of a heart that wanted so desperately for him to feel as you did, even though your mind had kept telling you that it was a bad idea to get attached again. But the sorrow you were feeling now told you it was far too late for that. You wanted him. You wanted his kisses, wanted his arms around you, wanted to wake up with him every morning. And now he was rejecting you. It was too much. Even though that hurt was small in comparison to what you had been through, it was still far too much. So the silences, the space between you, continues to grow and lengthen, the shadows of things unsaid haunting the edges.

Aside from that, you’ve begun to feel trepidatious about facing Ellie. You don’t know how she won’t immediately know that something had happened. Even though nothing had happened as you kept telling yourself. But there was no way she wouldn’t pick up on the difference between the you and Joel that had departed and the pair coming back, and she would definitely want to know what had caused it.

The light is fading into a rose pink dusk when you eventually spy the walls of Jackson, and finally your stomach unclenches and a rush of relief flows through you. At least here you can hide away in your house. Even though he’s next door, you can avoid him for a while. There is so much to do. Crops to be planted, livestock that are pregnant, that fucking garage to finish. You have a thousand distractions. Yet you can’t help but keep your eyes on the broad expanse of his back, the hair that brushes the collar of his coat as he rides on ahead of you through the gates.

The guards atop the walls must have sent word of your impending arrival because Ellie is there to greet you, lounging with practiced ease against the wall of the stable. She waves madly and smiles widely when she spies you, and sprints to meet your horses.

“Hey,” she says breathlessly. “How did everything go?”

A beat of silence before Joel takes charge. “Good,” he says briefly. “It was good.”

Her face screws up in disbelieving bafflement.

“‘Good’?” she echoes back at him. “That’s all you got for me? C’mon, man. Did you see anything cool? Get any supplies?”

“Sorry kiddo,” Joel says apologetically, sliding from his horse with a pained grunt. “Just some standard runners and a clicker or two. Nothing doing out there. Which is good news by the way, so don’t look so damn disappointed.”

“Really? Nothing at all?” she presses, still in disbelief.

“Really,” Joel replies, his voice now flat with mild annoyance as he removes the saddlebags.

As he begins to lead his horse to the stable, Ellie’s eyes narrow. Here it comes you think. You’ve known her long enough to be able to tell when she’s suspicious about something. It’s not exactly difficult. Her poker face is non-existent. You dismount your own horse and deal with the luggage, waiting for the inevitable question.

“Is he okay?”

“I think so,” you say nonchalantly. “He was a little quiet on the ride home. Guess he’s just tired.”

“And he’s telling the truth?”

“Yeah, he is,” you lie before changing the subject. “How about you? Anything interesting happen while we were gone?”

She chatters to you while you bring the horse into the stable, putting him into a stall far enough away from Joel’s that you won’t be distracted by him while you’re talking to her, and beginning to remove his tack. It was the expected business of Jackson – a couple having a public argument at the bar after too much to drink had been banned from the premises for a month, she had stayed with Maria and Tommy for a couple of the days that Joel had been gone and enjoyed the change of scenery, the last of the lambs had been born and the sows and cows that were pregnant were healthy and expected to drop their babies any day, she hated farming rotation with a passion and wished she could start with a patrol group.

“Well, I could use some real practice with my archery. Some moving targets. Why don’t we see if we can get you out for some hunting to start with?”

“Joel?” Ellie’s voice is eager as she asks his permission with that one word.

He hangs up his horse’s saddle in the allocated spot before dusting his hands and then shrugging as he turns to her. “S’up to Maria. You should talk to her. You ready to head home?”

“Uhhh…yeah,” she replies, frowning her confusion at his brevity and coldness. “You coming?” she adds, turning to you.

“Nah, I’ve got some errands to run first. I’ll catch up with you later.” You manage what you hope is a real enough smile at her before bidding Joel a short goodbye. He responds in kind, and exits the stables with Ellie trailing in his wake, giving confused glances back and forth between the two of you.

When you’re sure they’re far enough away you release a breath you didn’t even realise you had been holding and sag backward against the support of the stable wall. The journey back to Jackson had been bad enough. Now it seemed as if the journey back to friendship with Joel might be even more arduous.

Taglist - @thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories @abbyhaslongshorts @celebrtyskinz @majahu @sanscas @myloveistoolittle @ohthemisssery @harperdoodle

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x you #joel tlou x f!reader #joel tlou x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel tlou fanfic #joel tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #1 (only friends): stray thoughts on topmew vs mewray vs topboston

i've been saying that i'm not expecting an end-game pair from the 3 couples we have in only friends. if there is, i hate to say this but i think it will be topmew? even though i don't like this because i want mew to grow as a person and not succumb to his romantic feelings for top, they might be the end-game (if p'jojo ever considers having one).

the idea of only friends is already crazy and dark. i think by now, we all know these six characters are intertwined physically, mentally and emotionally. but it's weird how i still feel so heavy in my stomach and immense pain in my chest when i think about all possibilities, especially topboston and mewray. this unsettling notion is bugging me every day. and until the moment only friends airs, it'll continue to spark more questions in my head.

topboston vs topmew

does anyone feel this way too? like, i have a feeling that boston purposely introduced top to mew because he knew top treated everyone as a one-night stand. not more, not less. but when he realised that top might've fallen for mew, boston started panicking because he was top's fuckbuddy for years (?) yet he couldn't make top look at him the way top look at mew. perhaps boston liked top from the get-go and found him super attractive but top said, "i don't roll that way." with no strings attached. no feelings involved. so why on earth top gave mew a chance to be more than a one-night stand?

topboston would definitely be messy because even after top had a relationship with mew, he would still find boston because the physical connection would be so hard to discard and they've bounded their bodies together for so long. it was like coming home. but this wasn't quite a home. it was more like a hotel. top could come and go. and he would 'pay' boston with some good fuck and boston would be satisfied because that was the idea of fuckbuddies, no? then why did it hurt when top treated mew with something close to love?

perhaps, top was more accustomed to boston's body than mew's. knew boston's weak spots even with eyes closed. maybe he would satisfy that wicked pleasure with boston more than mew. probably, mew fulfilled the tender and humane side of top but not the animalistic and lustful part of top. top needed that from boston and he couldn't stop— wouldn't— because boston had always been his thing— person— and no matter how downgrading it sounded, boston would be glad to be just that for top.

yet, it wasn't after he knew top and mew were something else— something boston and top would never become. and that fucked boston up. really badly.

mew was an obstacle. mew was a stealer. mew was everything boston wasn't in top's heart. mew's presence in top's life stopped him from seeking boston. and that would drive boston completely ballsy.

mewray vs topmew

from the mock trailer, we knew ray liked mew. probably for the longest time. and i find it so ironic when mew confidently said, "i know what people feel about me when i look at them," to which ray replied, "then, what do i feel towards you?" it was so ironic because ray liked mew but it's either, 1) mew didn't know or 2) mew knew, but he didn't want to acknowledge it because ray is his best friend and he just couldn't force himself to look at ray with love. the romantic kind.

but then, top came.

top— ray's biggest challenger.

i think ray knew top and boston had a thing going on. and he believed whatever hell boston planned for mew and top would last only for a night because it was what boston wanted, no? boston thought he was just helping mew let loose. four years in university but never slept with anyone? what a loser. mew, you need to get laid! and in boston's eyes, top was the perfect candidate because top would never develop romantic feelings for his one-night partner. top didn't know what love and commitment meant. boston knew better about this.

but mew was different. and top saw that difference. and it lured top to stay— perhaps he thought he could wreck mew from his innocence— definitely would. in one way or another. mew would be so intoxicated by this new emotion— budding love and dependence and infatuation. it won't be easy for mew to stop liking top.

so ray might've turned a blind eye, despite sensing the impending doom. he wouldn't tell mew he knew of boston's scheme because if it could make him a shoulder to cry on for mew, that would be fantastic. closer to mew as an emotional support was better than closer to mew as only friends. ray might seize the opportunity because he knew top would fuck up and boston would never let this slide so it was his chance to show himself to mew— i'm here. i'm always here for you, mew.

ray would try to be everything mew had always wanted and that person wasn't top and yes, mew, i'm here. he would show mew the world where cheating didn't exist and his love for mew was real and growing and never ceasing. but mew would still hope. because mew was stupid and he was so in love and he couldn't shake this fresh feeling of fixation because top (might be) his first in everything. those long nights of making love, hand-holding and cheek kisses, back-hugs and sloppy kisses on the kitchen counter, warm and long hugs after classes end and everything in between— mew couldn't discard top just like that. but once a person twisted his belief in something so precious like this— love— something clicked in mew and it would be the end of his kindness.

mew vs top, ray and boston

what top, boston and ray didn't know was mew would shatter them all. mew would pull them close and whisper to their ears, "you haven't seen the best side of me. i'll destroy you all."

because he loved top but top took his love for granted. because boston was an asshole and the cause of mew's most painful heartbreak. because ray was mew's reliable friend but he, too, saw mew as a subject of pity and mew couldn't— wouldn't— let anyone step on him again.

so mew might plot the most cunning plan ever because he is smart. he could be the cruellest heartbreaker and still have top bowing to his feet, begging to be forgiven— boston losing this battle because who the fuck he thinks he is?— and ray hopelessly hoping for another chance to be his friend.

and when that time comes, i hope mew won't go easy on them.

conclusion

the complexity of topmew > mewray > topboston is so mindboggling that i'm honestly having doubts to watch this drama. it's very confusing because i know the premise of this drama (from the mock trailer) and it's beyond complicated and dark and sinister and dirty and so humane. but i'm still afraid because deep down, i know all six of them will suffer. and i have a problem dealing with people suffering. i just can't find the heart in me to watch them breaking into pieces.

i'm inclining more to mew because i see so much 'innocence' in him that i can't bear knowing these arseholes will take advantage of his untainted idealogy of love to satisfy whatever purpose they have. especially since top (might be) mew's first deeper and more intimate connection, and to know this person that he loves whole-heartedly is fucking— has been fucking— with his best friend for years; i can't imagine the mental and emotional breakdown mew will experience.

yet, i hope, something in him will change and that is, i won't let these motherfuckers use me again. that will be a fantastic character development and i'm beyond elated to see how p'book carries his role as mew.

whatever it is, i hope this drama will show those sides of human complexity, discussing the paths a human will take when their ideas are challenged and their hopes are destroyed, especially when love, envy, anger and vengeance are involved.

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

#only friends #only friends series #only friends the series #only friends meta #topmew #mewray #topboston #mew only friends #top only friends #ray only friends #boston only friends #book kasidet #force jiratchapong #khaotung thanawat #neo trai #this is my two cents #it doesn't make sense but i think my heart's a little clearer now #forcebook #forceneo #bookkhao #analysis #discussion #na discusses

[renthony]

Hey question because I've been thinking about anti-FL bigotry. I'm from up North and I've noticed that a lot of this sentiment pretty closely echoes the usual anti-Southern/anti-rural/classist/ableist bullshit I'm used to hearing. But I've also noticed that you talk about how *everyone* talks about FL this way. So just to clarify, in good faith: Do Southern states which complain (rightly) about the same bullshit from the North actually turn around to do the same to you? (1/2)

Part 2 of this didn't come through, but I'll answer this first bit! Obviously this is all based on my own lived experience, so it's all anecdotal, but:

Florida is culturally distinct in a lot of ways. It has a lot of unique ecosystems and weather patterns, a big tourist draw, a lengthy history of colonization by multiple different invading countries, and a very messy political history (and present, sob). A lot of "weird" things that happen in Florida make headlines more widely than weird events in other places, so it's created the idea that Florida is "uniquely weird" even for the South. Florida gets treated kind of like it's the biggest weirdo of the bunch, where all the truly bonkers things always happen. (The truth is that our weird shit just gets reported on differently/more widely due to a complicated legislative reasons that deserve their own post.)

The thing is, as someone who's spent time across several Southern states, they're all culturally distinct in their own ways. Mississippi is distinct from Louisiana, and they're both quite different from Florida. There are a lot of commonalities and shared experiences, though, hence why they're all still the South.

(A big part of that shared experience, of course, is that that they were all Confederate states during the Civil War. Culturally, they have all been very impacted by that, and you can't really divorce that history from Southern culture. But that's a huge subject on its own.)

It's honestly a pretty big thing in the South for people to act like their home state is the Best and Most Southern, and then talk shit about all the others. People in Mississippi talk shit about Alabama, people in Alabama talk shit about Mississippi, Louisiana talks shit about everybody, and Floridians either pretend we're better than everyone, or hate it here so much that they trash it the hardest.

(The latter kind of person irritates the piss out of me. You can hate it here all you want without shitting on the rest of us and acting like we deserve to get mistreated.)

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Nightwolf x Reader (Venting)

I told them two months should be fine, but it's not. Even a month is so long, but it's supposed to be for my own good.

So why do Ifeel so... purposeless?

You took a gaspy breath of air as questions of frightening uncertainty strangled your mind.

I don't get it. I've done everything I could to try to get them to be close with me again. They said it wasn't me... but is it? They've grown a habit of lying to me, so are they telling the truth there?

Your eyes stared emptily at your phone's black screen. Should you browse through the media to clear your mind?

No. You'll just end up back in the messages between you and them the eighth time. Let alone their account.

Maybe you should take their advice. The very common one everyone always suggest in these types of situations: replace them. Find someone that's way better them. Just "Move on. It's part of life."

It's true. Moving on is a part of life, you aren't inexperienced with it. But really, how long will the process take this time?  You don't want to forget them. And you don't want them to forget you. Even if they claim you wouldn't be.

They aren't replaceable to you. You told them this and it hurts that they even object that statement.

It hurt watching them turn into something apathetic. They claim they want to be forgotten, punishment for hurting people like yourself. Sometimes, when you feel angered rather than sad, you agreed.

Sometimes you'd feel so angry, you'd want to break the silence just to speak the blunt part of your mind, but you know it would fall on deaf ears and a closed mind.

Anything you say always does. Even the most sincere words.

Returning to them is a bad idea. But they're the only person you have. You feel as if you deserve it for pushing away those who actually cared.

"Y/n." A quiet, but stern voice called.

Slightly startled, you looked towards your door which was opened a bit with a familiar face peering in.

"Nightwolf?" You responded back dimly. 

Nightwolf was someone you did seek comfort from before you met them. He knew about your "close" friend, and like everyone else, disapproved of them.

Your love is so deep for that person, that even Nightwolf failed to convince you being around them wasn't healthy for you. Only thing different about him is he still stuck by your side.

Nightwolf entered the room, carrying your personal mug, setting it beside you on your dresser. The aroma of your favorite warm beverage greeted you.

"You haven't been out you room for awhile, so I assumed you were asleep." He looked at you and explained.

He observed how unwell you looked. From your blanket covering your messy hair to how puffy your eyes were, either from lack of sleep or crying, or both.

"Are you okay?" He asked a question he already knew. An attempt to get you to talk to him.

You quickly broke off eye contact with him and nodded with a broken "mhm".

No. I'm really not.

"Are you sure?"

You shut your eyes, with a sudden thought in your head.

They used to check up on me like this.

"You can talk to me, Y/n. I'm still here for you."

The warm rush of tears raced down your face and you were so poorly subtle to hide them.

You just don't get it. You pushed this man away for someone who treated you awful, even if it was unintentional, but he just never disregarded you right then.

And you still continued pushing him away because you just felt bad he was helping naive, delusional, worthless, little you. Just...why?

"I still miss them. Why did they have to change?" You managed to get out.

"Change is just part of one's growth. Understand people can naturally change in a way you may not get. Not right now at least. It doesn't mean it's your fault. That's just how it is."

Some of Nightwolf's words were just like theirs, except it was somehow soothing coming from him, someone who was genuine with you.

"Also understand you cannot change someone, no matter how much effort you place."

You try to. But no matter what the old them is all you could see in them. You just "...don't think you can fully accept they changed."

"I get it. But you eventually will, believe it or not. Once you do, you'll finally feel at peace."

You made sure your face was cleared before grabbing your comfort drink, accidentally moving a bottle that contained melatonin pills in it. Nightwolf noticed them, and it did worry him.

"Do you take one pill at night?" He asked calmly. Or merely just hinting to you that's how you're supposed to use them.

"I don't just take them at night and I don't count." You said before taking a sip. "They're weak too." You scoffed.

You didn't even have the energy to lie to your friend to reassure him. But realizing what you're admitting made you guilty and you forced yourself to take more sips to avoid looking at him. You felt his stare rest on you and it wasn't a nice feeling.

"When do you take them?"

"Whenever there's no reason for me to be awake. Melatonin isn't dangerous if that's what your wondering."

Although I wish it was.

"No, but it can still get you sick, Y/n. That concerns me."

You looked at the Indigenous man shortly. "It shouldn't. I don't get why you still care for me after everything."

"Because you're still learning how the world works. And I know you weren't pushing people away on purpose. I believe you're strong enough to overcome all of this and you'll be a better person."

Shameful to admit, you didn't believe the last part he said. Just look at the condition you were in now.

You were pulled into a sudden embrace, making you confused at first, but then-

"I love you." Nightwolf said unexpectedly. "They may have stopped loving you. But I never did. I hope that's some sort of relief for you."

You didn't respond. You started breaking down, adding your weight against him.

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I don't...

"Please stop distancing yourself from me. That's all I request." The black haired male said, still holding you.

"Okay." You sobbed out. You felt his hand comb your hair in a comforting manner.

"Everything will be better soon." He lastly says. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope I'm not lying to myself about the last part.

But I hope you enjoy this. I just wanted to try to make myself feel better.

#mortal kombat 11 #mk imagine #mortal kombat x reader #nightwolf x reader #mortal kombat imagines #vent #cope #nightwolf #mortal kombat #goddesswritings

[teecupangel]

OG anon of the Reborned Desmond in Unity. I'm mighty proud that my ideas spur you fun writing. I'll confess you a secret, I'm also og anons of the ideas I've sent you prior but I don't wanna have you see me aggressive or pushy because I enjoy your content immensely (I had bad experiences of people's harsh words in irl and online on my personality). Anyway, it's similar in Unity idea. What if Desmond is reborned in AC Rogue, like became Shay's childhood friend or Liam's older or younger brother. Or possibly in a time earlier so can Desmond be established in Brotherhood maybe master assassin for Connor's happiness. Haytham's confusion and frustration in some point in the plot that Desmond won't kill him but has a look of a disappointed or pained look of a family member and Lisbon is saved. Desmond and Shay could become platonic soulmates or slow burn childhood friends to lovers (up to you) or better yet Desmond unintentionally became mentor (he was supposed just be an assassin in the background damn it lmao) and Shay is like a bodyguard or right hand which had these intense sexual tension between the two. Sorry for messy and long ask

Ah, well, I don’t see a problem with your personality and I like the ideas you throw at me. To be fair, I do try to limit my time with everyone’s asks to a certain time so I can still write. So if you don’t see an answer, that only means it’s been pushed to next day or something.

Alright, let’s think about how to make this work.

As usual, we’ll keep the same limitation as the Unity AU one

Desmond remembers his life as Desmond Miles

Desmond will have his ancestors’ memories and skills but those memories will be vague

So he either gets reborn as Shay’s childhood friend or Liam’s older/younger brother. Since Liam is Shay’s childhood friend, we can combine the two and make Desmond’s Shay’s childhood friend who is also Liam’s sibling.

Now, according to AC wiki, Liam was Achilles’ first acolyte and it was Liam who also recruited the rest of the Colonial Assassins. He’s pretty much Achilles’ second in command and maybe even being groomed as the next mentor.

In this scenario, Desmond and Liam would both be inducted into the Brotherhood together (whether we keep the whole “Liam’s father got executed to save his son” part of his backstory is up to you, nonny) with Desmond being more of Liam’s shadow. Many will see him as the little bird who whispers in Liam’s ear. Everyone in the Brotherhood knows that if you want Liam on your side, you get Desmond on your side.

We’ll get to Shay later as we need to talk about how Desmond’s inclusion would affect the Colonial Brotherhood as a whole.

Achilles Davenport

Desmond would still remember how Ratonhnhaké:ton thought of him as a father-figure. He also remembers how Achilles sometimes treated Ratonhnhaké:ton like a stubborn child so he has mixed feelings for Achilles. What he does remember is that Achilles’ family would die. Here’s where we get a bit creative with this. Desmond doesn’t have actual medical know-how. What he did had was a Shaun who was more than happy to explain what killed Achilles’ family and how that could have been prevented, which literally boils down to “cleanliness”.

So, in this scenario, Desmond is kind of a clean freak. People assume it’s because he used to live in a dirty place and Liam never tried to correct them that Desmond had always been a clean freak since they were children. The homestead is always clean, especially the kitchen. Achilles learned to live with it because his son loves the ‘wash your hands’ song that Desmond taught him. In this case, Abigail and Connor live and that means that Achilles would be ‘milder’ than his canon characterization. (Maybe Abigail even treats all of Achilles' students like her children as well?)

Hope Jensen

The main difference for Hope in this scenario is how she controls her gangs. Desmond knows it would be impossible to stop crimes from happening but his words and his adherence to the Creed would resonate with Hope. Instead of having something akin to a Proto-Rooks, Hope would be in charge of something similar to how the media portrayed the golden age of the mafia. They’re criminals, yes, and they sell illegal shit but they’re organized and they have a code. They protect the people in their district and take care of crimes not their own. In exchange, the people (and maybe even the police) look the other way when they do illegal stuff. (Hope becomes a mix of Vito Corleone and Red Hood in this scenario… does this mean Desmond accidentally created the mafia in New York during the 18th century?)

Kesegowaase

Not much would change for Kesegowaase although he would consider Desmond as a close friend. They’re also hunting buddies and Kesegowaase would notice how many of Desmond’s movements are very similar to him or to other tribes that he knows of. Desmond would just wave it off as a coincidence or maybe even say “I had a great teacher”. Kesegowaase would seesaw between thinking Desmond had been trained by one of his people (or one of the other tribes) and thinking Desmond may have been blessed by one of their spirits.

Louis-Joseph Gaultier

Oooohhhh bbooyy. This one… okay. So… Gaultier will be the one that keeps butting heads with Desmond. A lot. Desmond would even argue against his inclusion as he sees Gaultier as violent and arrogant but Achilles will argue that his connection with the French army made him invaluable. Even his suggestion of just keeping Gaultier as an ‘ally’ would be denied because Achilles sees how loyal he is. “He is loyal to a master, not to the Creed!” will be Desmond’s main argument. So there are a lot of times that he and Gaultier would argue on what it means to be an Assassin and what the Creed means. Gaultier would emphasize on Desmond’s Irish immigrant heritage to belittle his knowledge about the Creed and Desmond will argue that blood doesn’t matter. On the flip side, Desmond’s constant arguments with Gaultier and critiquing of Gaultier’s actions make all the other Assassins have a better understanding of the Creed and what it means to be an Assassin.

Liam O'Brien

Honestly, I think Desmond should be his younger brother, mainly because that would make Desmond be of a similar age as Shay and because Liam just has big bro-vibes. Just imagine him being a protective older brother who likes to tease Desmond. In this scenario, Liam would feel responsible for Desmond’s safety (especially if we do decide that their father still dies for Liam’s mistakes) and he’s a bit overprotective at times which Desmond finds both tiring and also makes him feel warm inside. Liam would also be torn whenever Desmond and Achilles would butt heads. On one hand, Achilles is like a father to him, on the other hand, Liam also knows his brother long enough to understand that everything Desmond does is for what he believed is right. Achilles may have been the one to choose Liam to be an Assassin but Liam knows that it’s Desmond who embodies what being an Assassin is supposed to be.

And now, we get to Shay Cormac.

Shay met Liam first and Liam was the one to introduce Desmond to him. Desmond has no memories of Shay at all since, even before the memories of his Bleed took a hit, his memories of Haytham stopped before Haytham met Shay. Not only that but Achilles never told Ratonhnhaké:ton anything. All Desmond knew is that the Colonial Brotherhood will be destroyed by the Templars while Ratonhnhaké:ton was young. So he grew up treating Shay as a friend. They separated due to their family situations but Liam later reunites with Shay and invites him to the Brotherhood.

And this is where Shay gets hit.

Growing up, he saw Desmond more as Liam’s little brother. A small kid that Shay needs to keep an eye on because he can be a little strange and has a mischievous streak that no one would believe. Shay has lost count of how many times Desmond had made some asshole’s life hell without anyone realizing it was him.

So when he heard Desmond was one of the high-ranking members of the Brotherhood, he wasn’t surprised. Desmond had always been a sneaky little shit.

Then…

He saw Desmond as a young adult for the first time, maybe while he’s looking over reports Hope was showing him concerning the current situation in New York, and Shay just…

Stared.

Desmond as a child was cute. Maybe a little too thin but that was unfortunately normal for them. He always wore Liam’s old clothes which were too big for him.

But Desmond in his Assassin robes? Wearing clothes that actually fit him? Having grown up into a fit young man?

Shay gets hit hard. And Desmond is simply too happy to see him again to see it.

But Hope notices it.

And Liam freaking notices it too.

And now Shay doesn’t have to just deal with his growing affection for an oblivious Desmond. He has to deal with Hope’s teasing and Liam’s seesawing erratically between teasing him and threatening to eviscerate him. Shay’s crush is going to be the worst kept secret in the homestead that even little Connor Davenport knows about it.

But Desmond doesn’t.

Why?

Because Desmond is too focused dealing with the whole Kenway drama at the moment.

Because no matter who Desmond gets reborn to… He will always prioritize the three men he cared for the most.

And, at this point, Haytham Kenway was already in America (but Desmond has no idea where) and there were even slow ongoing talks of an alliance with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s tribe that Desmond has taken charge of.

And this is where I go back to my try-and-tested idea of Desmond spending lots of time with baby!Ratonhnhaké:ton and being bff with Kaniehtí:io. (*whispers*Ratonhnhaké:ton and Connor Davenport being brothers *whispers*)

But let’s focus on the first part of Rogue for this one.

One way for Desmond to learn that Achilles is messing with Isu bs is thanks to Hope. Hope and Shay were the ones to be ordered to find and analyze the precursor box and either of them could tell Desmond about it but, at this point, Shay is still ‘new’ and may be trying to get some brownie points from Achilles. On the other hand, Hope has long been converted to Desmond’s side and would definitely tell Desmond about all of these because she’s heard of how dangerous these items are from Desmond himself.

Desmond would strongarm his way to being part of the mission and might even sneak into Morrigan as a stowaway and only show himself when they were nearing Lisbon. Thanks to Desmond’s ‘affinity’ with POEs, Lisbon will definitely not happen (hell, we can even use some of the plot points from A Pirate's Son for this part XD) and the second part of Rogue would be changed to Desmond and Shay trying to secure all the other POEs in the manuscript they have.

And… maybe they start getting close during their travels and something develops between them during that time… (nudgenudgenudge)

Sidenote: This is also a bit similar to the idea I was thinking of based on @twitcherpated’s suggestion in AO3 of Desmond being reborn as the actual Connor Davenport. The only difference is that Desmond would be a bit young in that one and won’t be able to stop Lisbon but, even if he’s young, he can still comfort Shay and stop him from doing anything drastic while still in shock.

#i focused too much on the colonial assassins #but yeah full on look of disappointment for haytham #plus a dash of 'i expected nothing less from you yet i am still disappointed' #assassin's creed #desmond miles #shay cormac #liam o'brien #achilles davenport #hope jensen #kesegowaase #louis-joseph gaultier

[kutputli]

I went back and rewatched episode 2 and 3 to talk about Shandy, but then I got disheartened by going through the few posts that mention her. So far I've seen her described as 'unlikeable', 'untrustworthy', 'suspicious', 'pushy', 'toxic' and 'clueless'.

This is a person whose first interaction with Keeley was to tell her how proud she was of her, and whose second action after that was to solve a problem for Keeley and save her business a bunch of money.

And yet even in the show, every single person has been making that judgy 'ohhhh' sound when they learn that Shandy is Keeley's friend. Nobody treats Keeley any different. All the 'well that explains it' is directed towards Shandy. Even Higgins makes that sound.

We see Shandy take on Roy in an absolutely boldfaced act of loyalty to Keeley, and we see her standing in the background of the restaurant, going from table to table - at work, telling people to promote the restaurant on social media, while her boss and her boss's ex-boss are getting drunk at the bar. But fandom keeps wanting to speculate that she's going to sleep with Roy or Jamie.

This is a woman who has been through a marriage and a divorce. We've spent three seasons now dealing with Ted and Rebecca being hung up on their failed marriages, coddling their emotional reactions. Might Shandy not have some lingering messy feelings, about being around footballers again, this time not as a WAG, but as a professional? Moreover, one who has been hired out of pity by a former friend who is making her ambivalence very clear to everyone. I've never seen Keeley be so unenthusiastic and lukewarm to anyone as she has been when she talks about Shandy to other people. It's behaviour I've seen often across race and class lines - people happy to slum it with a friend, but who flinch from aligning themselves with that friend when they are proving too gauche/misfitting/crude for the dominant social norms.

In a way I can see why fandom is reacting as it does, because the show itself seems to sneer and laugh at Shandy in a way it has not done for any other female character so far. The show expects us to mirror Rebecca's discomfort and astonishment at being asked how tall she is at a first meeting. But Keeley makes a comment about Rebecca's arms on their first formal meeting. Shandy asks for advice and offers to go for a coffee, but Keeley barged into Rebecca's office and took her shoes off. Shandy suggests taking her top off (and why is that not seen as the act of desperately courageous preventative self-owning that Ted's jokes at the last press conference were) but Keeley asked to see Rebecca's nude photo on her first meeting and then talked about showing off her own breasts. Shandy suggested getting mimosas on the company credit, but Keeley talked about getting hallucinogens.

We talk a lot about how people of colour code-switch, because they have to, but we don't always notice how white people code-switch - how they will get down and dirty when they want to, but how they can and do always switch back to an upper class register, whenever their power feels threatened.

I don't trust the show to tell it, but there is a very interesting story to narrate about what happens when you take away the power to be kind from white people. Unlike Nathan, Shandy is confidant, and conventionally attractive. It puts her on more of an equal playing field with Keeley, than Nathan was with Ted. But nonetheless, the strong 'you do not belong here, you are only conditionally tolerated, you are being judged and found wanting' vibes that the show is surrounding Shandy with make me worry about what I will have to watch her go through.

#Ted Lasso #Ted Lasso spoilers #Shandy Fine #nathan shelley #Keeley Jones #my meta

[yearningaces]

Back on my bullshit! this time with a scenario I've been in before as far as the conversations go. Very lighthearted talks about asexuality and a lack of sexual connotation for the reader with a very supportive werebear partner (I'm a sucker for bears of any form lol)

"It's hot!" you groan in frustration as you lounge on the couch. Hearing the heavy steps of your sweet partner, you look up to the stout werebear, watching as he gives you a pitying smile and holds out a Popsicle.

"Might help?" He offers hopefully, watching with a proud grin as you take the treat.

You eat away at the Popsicle, watching the weather station on the TV describing a new record breaking heatwave. "Honey, I'm moments away from stripping down to nothing and jumping in the creek out back."

Boris watches you with a somewhat surprised expression before shaking his head off slightly. "Casually or?"

At that you're reminded that not everyone has a certain lack of thoughts that you do. you watch Boris sit on the couch, careful not to get too close since he knows how overheated you get when the weather is this bad. You ponder for a moment before speaking, "Casually is the only way I'd understand that to be."

Boris nods his head in understanding, leaning back in his spot and watching the TV for a moment before turning back to you. "We are aware that doin' something like that wouldn't be casual for a lot of folks, yeah?" His tone is lacking judgement but the reminder is as odd feeling as it always is.

"I don't get why, it's just skin and a body." You muse confused as you reposition to spread out slightly before speaking again, "I mean, how many times do I drag you to a museum and we see those beautiful paintings of half naked women and men? to me a body is just a body and there's nothing sexual or anything else unless the person in the body intends on it to be. I never intend that so it's frustrating to me when the rest of the world forces that assumption and intention onto me just cause I have genitals."

You hear a grunt of agreement from Boris as he nods his head, genuinely listening to your words and understanding your viewpoint. The action is all the more appreciated because you know Boris is a creature that enjoys sexual activities, but the day he learned you were asexual you both had a very long discussion about things he might say or do that he worried would make you uncomfortable and promised to stop all of those things immediately. You both figured out a comfortable way and with his assurance that he understood to never expect any sort of sexual connotation or action from you regardless of what you do or say, you were very comfortable and happy with him.

As if reading your mind, Boris once more understood that those were never your thoughts, and all you wanted was to cool off. "You can strip if you want, we're home and no one is here but us. I'll grab the box fan or if you want to be in the water that bad, the tub isn't big enough, but I can go get an inflatable pool and we can blow it up in the kitchen for you?"

At that you turn to look at Boris with the most amused expression over his offers.

The dark furred werebear watches your expression with confusion as well. "What? you want to cool off and mentioned wanting to strip and run to the creek, but don't want people looking at you with that kinda impression cause it makes you uncomfortable, so I can get an inflatable pool, we have a big enough kitchen and no one could see you and make you uncomfortable either." There he went again, being all considerate.

"I'll cut up that watermelon we got in the fridge while you do that and we can have a little party." Your grin only grows as you think of bringing the radio into the kitchen as well, not worrying about the mess and trusting it'll be messy to clean later but that's part of the fun.

Boris grins, standing and stretching from his spot before offering a paw out to you, as soon as your smaller hand was in his he easily pulled you up. Boris planted a quick kiss on the side of your head before wandering off to the garage in search of the inflatable kid pool while you wandered off to the kitchen, already tossing your shirt off as you went.

it was way too hot to be dealing with all of that anyways

#gender neutral reader #monster romance #x reader #monster boyfriend #asexual #asexuality #Boris the werebear

[mingos]

For the question about my character meme, how do you personally think Doffy felt about the situation when he was a child and St Homing decided to give up his status to live with the common folk. We saw how badly they were treated, but I'd like your opinion on how it personally affected Doffy, if you don't mind?

　oh, it psychologically fucked him up. no doubt. not even just the beatings & extreme poverty that would come later, i'm talking everything about that situation from start-to-finish. (before i start, just to be clear, this is not a 'uwu poor doffy uwu' analysis, this is a child psychology analysis.)

-

i know his shock & anger at the beginning before anything 'bad' happened was meant to illustrate "see, he's always been an evil little shit" but honestly, his base reaction is perfectly within the realms for a kid who has had his entire life & belief system essentially just upended. he wasn't an adult with a fully developed brain, he was a child with a child's brain. eight years old is actually around the time kids start thinking logically & understanding the world around them on a deeper level.

picture it: you're essentially one of the richest, most powerful children in the world, raised in an environment where you are deified & you can do no wrong, that everyone beneath you (humans) is less than dirt (whether that's right is not the point) and one day your dad is like... "hey, i want to be that". and you overhear your peers mocking your dad and essentially kicking you all out of your home and forcing you to move to an unfamiliar environment. like, moving schools as a child, but worse.

you've also been conditioned to think you are entitled to anything you want, and are allowed to be as nasty as you want to humans without consequence. but, suddenly, not only are they not serving you anymore... the moment you talk to these humans the way you have been conditioned by the adults in your life to talk to them when they 'disrespect' youーthey burn down your new house & start threatening to murder you. they are essentially in the position you used to be in now.

-

yeah sure "taste of your own medicine" and all thatーbut doflamingo is eight. he barely knows what that even means, at that age children are still learning basic concepts of morality & social norms, and at that point basically every social norm doflamingo has been conditioned into for those first eight years of his life were turned on their head & now all the sudden he was punished for believing them rather than praised. for the first time in his life, he's starving. for the first time in his life, he's been hit. he's poor. he's forced to wear rags. nothing he has been taught makes sense anymore.

also, at that age, your world tends to revolve around one thingーyour parents. they understand the roles of "child" and "adult" and understand that the adult's purpose is to give them guidance & protect them. homing, in doflamingo's eyes, did the opposite. he put them in harms’ way. another thing in his world that has been proven totally wrong.

-

child brains generally do not handle stress or trauma well; i forget the exact wording or study so don't quote me, but i've read articles over the years that make the argument that children who grow up in violent home environments (like witnessing/being subjected to domestic violence) or split home environments (like parents undergoing a messy divorce) essentially can have levels of ptsd equivalent to war veterans.

(on a personal note) as a very ill child who spent my first 12 years in & out of hospitals, i have medical ptsd; just hearing a heart rate monitor, seeing a needle, or smelling that very specific 'hospital' or 'anesthesia' smell is enough to give me a panic attack sometimes, even at 27.

that kind of trauma really does stick with youーeverything goes back to your childhood.

　taking his power back was, in part, to ensure that nothing close to that ever happens to him again.

#‘ 007. ’ (headcanons) #child abuse // #poverty // #medical //

[hezuart]

Why do people care about what a creator does if they like the stuff they have made?

This is a difficult question to answer. It depends on the context, typically on a case-by-case basis.

For example, Rowling is a Terf; so she's been transphobic. She's also lied to her audience and has lost her touch in writing over the years. She's an extremely rich woman and a popular one at that, which means she can use her platform and money towards transphobia; just like the FNAF creator, Scott Cawthon. Scott donated thousands upon thousands of dollars to Donald Trump's campaign and is also pro-life; meaning this guy used a good portion of FNAF money towards a political campaign over who has influence over the USA Government.

Disney Company had sent $100K+ to Republican Parties in Florida, a party that managed to pass a "Don't Say Gay" Bill to prevent schools from teaching about LGBTQ+; and supports the anti-abortion bill, which I hate to remind people, Abortion is no longer protected federally because Roe vs Wade was overturned, and several women and their doctors have been tracked, harassed, arrested, and jailed for it.

But bear in mind, that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. Disney is a monopoly that controls nearly the entire entertainment industry. Rowling probably has contracts with Warner Bros, and Warner Bros has theme parks, books, and all sorts of Harry Potter-themed stuff that has been deeply ingrained into people's childhoods, which means Rowling was already influential and rich prior to her controversy; and parents and children will always consume Harry Potter content, regardless of a Rowling Cancel Post.

Scott Cawthon passed off FNAF to other people due to his cancellation (for the best, but it's unfortunate his family suffered death threats) But he still spent thousands of, basically, children's money on a political party that doesn't have their best interest in mind.

Now Vivziepop's allegations are much smaller in comparison. Some creators get a big head with all the "THIS SHOW IS PERFECT!" "YOU GOT ME OUT OF MY DEPRESSION I LOVE YOU GUYS" "YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY SAVED ME" "YOU GUYS ARE GENIUSES!" and tend to develop a sense of narcissism, and slowly become awful people towards their fellow coworkers like Ellen Degeneres did.

This is important because if anyone from the fanbase were hired since this is an indie studio, they could be taken advantage of or shocked when they learn how messy the studio is or how poorly fellow employees are treated by the person everyone worshipped.

This all being said though, cancel culture typically doesn't work. A lot of people that 'messed up' are still very much around and still vastly successful.

Some people try to take a "moral high ground" and chastise and harass people who consume content that originated from someone who has been "canceled", which isn't fair. Just because you like the Harry Potter franchise does not mean you're a transphobe. That's not logical. I've seen people claim they've pirated or got all their Harry Potter media second hand and they're STILL harassed, which is ridiculous.

And a bigger reality is, (Scott Cawthon being the exception) a lot of the content is not only made by canceled creators. Harry Potter was made crazy popular through the movies thanks to the actors, directors, and music directors. Are all those people transphobic because of association? Absolutely not. So fans should not be either. Especially if they're pirating, which is a strike against financially supporting these canceled people so they can't use your money for shady shit.

So to answer your question, people care about what a creator does because creators have power, and need to be kinder and smarter towards their fellow employees and fans. JK Rowling being a transphobe is a major jab at every trans Harry Potter fan. Scott Cawthon supporting pro-life is a jab at 80% of the FNAF female fanbase. (It's not even just the fanbase, their power extends to political stuff outside their creations, so its a major jab towards trans people, women, gays, POC, etc )

Vivziepop mistreating her employees makes her a bad boss, and potentially, a bad person. It makes Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel fans feel awkward about enjoying, supporting, and praising a show while some of the people who made it are suffering behind the scenes.

Some of the employees are not suffering behind the scenes, they may be on Viv's favoritism list or just don't have too much contact or trouble with her, and they do get paid and gain traction and experience through Spindlehorse, and make great connections, and they may be great people in comparison.

So... shrug? How and why you support or consume a creator, company, or franchise is up to you, and you alone. Weigh your morals and decide for yourself.

#it also doesnt help with fans try and defend the creators #because they feel guilty for liking said thing the creator made #so they feel the need to defend the creator to protect themselves from guilt #but thats because fandom culture likes to blame fans and cast them in thru association which is wrong #and these defensive fans gas light people and don't actually understand the situation behind the scenes #but you can enjoy something and not support the creator and their beliefs #it is very much possible #legit ive seen posts that are like -you so much as look at a harry potter post and you're a transphobe! sorry i don't make the rules- #those people are insane #text post #ask #so yeah you can like helluva and hazbin and also shun vivziepop #you can do it i believe in you #viv pls treat ur employees better #get ur priorities straight #andddd dont hire expensive asf voice actors

[velkynkarma]

-Breaks into your Ask box-

HI Hello I am. An Old fan of your Voltron fics. Parallel by Proxy was the first Clone Shiro Fanfic I gave a chance after the theory became Prevalent. See I HATED that theory with a burning passion, and I wouldn't read ANY of the fanfic. But I finally gave yours a shot and i fell in LOVE. I've read and re-read multiple of your fics and I love how you built Ryou and his character arc!! 😭 I'm not quite caught up right now since I haven't read any of the new stuff you posted after like... 2019??? I"m guessing but there was a small gap of time with no updates and I got distracted HAHAHA. HOWEVER I AM READING PRICE CUT PALADINS AND IT HAS BEEN DELIGHTFUL!!!! I missed these clowns and you reminded me just how much I love them 😭😭😭😭🧡🧡 LIKE OH MY GOODNESS ITS A BLAST FROM THE PAST, and a lot of your excellent writing carries that, so THANK Y OU SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT. I'm Getting close to the end and I can't wait to see crap hit the fan!!! Its been my little bed time story for a bit now and has brought me so much joy ;;v;; And this weirdly correlates to uh. I visited your blog a bit ago because I remember you being a cool person and I saw that you were Reblogging stuff for the life action One Piece. I've never WATCHED One Piece, but I've seen a lot of AMVs at conventions and its so Clear that the fans just. ADORE IT. SO when the fans were saying the live action was good I was kinda wondering if it'd be worth watching. But then when I saw you liked it??? Nail in the coffin. I ended up Binge watching the whole thing in 4 days and I now have another Gangle of Beloved Idiots to Cry over So thank you a lot for dragging me onto this sailing ship asdlfjSDLGJLSDGJSD

Me getting this message right before bed:

What a great message to get, thanks for taking the time to write me such a nice little letter!

First off I am delighted I was able to change your opinion on the Kuron/clone!Shiro theory. Because I totally get it, it can be super frustrating when everyone's throwing a theory in your face and you just don't vibe with it. That happened for me back in S1 when everyone was swearing up and down that galra!Keith was totally going to be a thing and it was such a popular theory. I did not vibe with it at all and I nearly stopped watching when it was confirmed canon in S2. So I get how annoying it can be, but I'm glad you were able to enjoy my fic and give at least one clone Shiro a chance!

I'm also equally delighted to hear you've been enjoying the Price Cut Paladins series. I love having a little bedtime story I can treat myself to at night before bed so it is always an honor to be that story for someone else :) I hope you continue to enjoy hyper-competent ex-monster-hunter Shiro and his gaggle of accidentally adopted cryptid family members.

Me? A cool person? Well, I certainly do my best to be at least. I'm just glad my messy pile of personal interests called a tumblr blog also appeals to others sometimes lol.

As for One Piece...

Welcome aboard, sailor. You may never leave again.

Real talk, the live action is a great entry point for One Piece...it still captures the spirit of the series as a whole, but 8 episodes are a lot less intimidating than the 1000+ the anime currently has going. I enjoyed it a lot and highly recommend it to anyone even moderately interested, since it's not nearly as huge an investment.

Thanks for making my night with such a nice ask :)

#Velkynkarma answers #voltron #one piece