#idk I just feel trapped and stupid and pathetic

[beesmygod]

As someone who watched like two somerton vids and didn't outright hate them, I've been mulling over what exactly got him this many fans, how did he even fool me. I feel like it might be Because He's So Monotone And Boring.

His presentation is so bland and dry, it Feels like you're trapped in an hour long university course. But he's talking about history, queer history at that. No matter how dubious and sometimes just offensive the "analysis" could be, I could see someone getting disgusted at anyone being critical of his work, just because of the subject matter. He's used his own identity aganist any criticism before, so he must be aware. Why should he properly light his camera when he's talking such impooortant issues? His delivery is so bad, but it gives this like, clinical feeling, like he's reading from a textbook (other people's actual work). He's not doing anything flashy or with any flair or effort, so he muuust just be really focused on the facts right? If he can't even get a good haircut, than all his energy must be in "research", clearly. It's like his whole channel is solely made for impressionable young queer people who Want to look educated, they want to Look like they care, but in reality, wouldn't even look at the sources if he ever posted them.

idk, maybe this ask was all nonsense, virtue signaling might be real and works and our peers were deeply uncurious all along.

"virtue signaling" is a stupid phrase that was trotted out for like, the most teensy tiny means for people to try to identify one another through a text medium but there has to be a word for when someone appeals to minority. like "they are sending me DEATH THREATS!!!!! because i am GAY!!!!!!!!!" is such an obvious lie that people immediately, apparently threw themselves onto grenades for out of some kind of deeply pathetic idea of solidarity that revolves around never questioning the intentions of people "on your side".

i think people just fucking suck for this one. like i cannot imagine a situation, even without knowing that he plagiarized, where i would have paid him money to continue making these vids. there is no excuse for paying him that holds up to any scrutiny considering his writing sounds like 5 people writing for him to totally fumble the delivery on. because it is that lol

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

loving this influx of followers and interacts! <3 pls feel free to msg me and if anyone's interested and i can open up requests so i have an excuse to write more juicy content uwu

actually pls msg me i'm going to run out of oneshot ideas eventually and just be sad

Stay With Me | Canonverse Fluff Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.6k ✧ notes ➼ canonverse, slight divergence from s4 plot (idk i wrote this in the middle of the night ok), just overall sweetness ♡

The sun had just set and you knew you had roughly 10 hours before you had to leave to face both Eren and Zeke, who had full control of the Titans on the island and were leading them down a path of destruction.

You stood outside your tent as you took off your cloak. As your eyes traced over the symbol of the Scouts that was supposed to symbolize the wings of freedom, you felt your breath hitch. Nearly everyone that you had met when you first got initiated into the Scouts all those years ago was gone. It was now literally only you, Hange, and Levi—maybe even less after the battle the following day.

The odds were overwhelmingly against you. The enemy had the ability to transform into deadly Titans. Your ranks have been devastated by just Zeke alone and now you were going to face off against both Zeke and Eren with minimal forces.

Levi was an Ackerman that had a stupid amount of strength when it came to combat. While you could not be fairly compared to Humanity's Strongest Soldier™, you were also a formidable force on the battlefield. However, those factors paled when it came to the Jaeger brothers. Zeke alone, even while injured, brought both of you to the brink of death through a cleverly set trap. If the cards hadn't lined up correctly, both you and Levi would be dead.

A part of you did wish that you had just died so that you could join your fallen comrades, but you knew how much that would destroy Levi.

With a solemn look on your face, you gently undid the buckles around your waist that held your mobility gear in place. As you raised your arms off to pull the harness over your head, you felt a sharp pain on your upper right side and let go of the harness as you lowered your arm, letting out a soft groan of pain.

You took a deep breath as you prepared to lift your harness over your head again.

However, before you were even able to exert any force to lift it, you felt someone walk up behind you and the harness was gently raised off of you. You glanced back and saw that Levi had noticed you struggling and came over to help.

“How’s your wound?” he asked quietly.

"I feel pathetic," you whispered without answering his question, watching as he set your gear down next to your tent. “How the hell am I supposed to fight those two monsters if I can’t even take my own gear off?”

Levi remained quiet as you spoke, lifting up your right arm to check on your bandaging. Seeing that it was starting to come undone, he gently nudged you towards his own tent.

“Come, I’ll swap out your gauze.”

~~~~~

You sat on the floor of Levi's tent with your arm raised, staring at the door with a blank expression as he unwrapped the old bandaging and began replacing it with new ones. You frowned as you saw the fresh blood that had begun to stain the old set of bandages. Levi had said that your bandages were becoming undone, but it seems that the wound had started bleeding again as well.

You looked over at him, grief entering your heart as you thought about what the most likely outcome was for tomorrow's battle that was rapidly approaching.

Once he was done, you both got out of his tent and saw that the majority of the remaining Scouts had gone to sleep in their individual tents. You turned towards him without quite making eye contact and spoke quietly.

“Big day tomorrow.”

"Yeah?" he replied, matching your volume.

"We might not survive this battle," you said with your voice devoid of emotion.

“I know.”

“He already fucked us both over when we least expected it. We should be prepared for anything.”

"I know," he repeated. He knew what you were trying to say. He knew about the thoughts that were running through your mind about not surviving the upcoming battle.

You sighed tiredly as you began to turn and leave for your own tent, unsure if you were going to be able to get any sleep.

"Wait," Levi said before placing his hand on your arm to keep you from turning further. His voice was so quiet it was barely audible.

You stopped turning, but frowned.

“You going to take me off the mission again?”

“No,” he said before pausing, as if he was thinking about how to choose his words carefully.

As you watched him, you realized you knew where his train of thought was going. You felt your heart pounding harder and harder as you slowly looked up at him, staring right into his steel blue eyes.

It was agonizing for the both of you to stand there, wondering what the others' next move was going to be. You both knew what you wanted, and what the other other was offering. You've known it for years at this point. You knew when you brought it up the night before the battle of Shiganshina. You knew when you brought it up at your camp a few weeks ago before Zeke got away. You've known, but by the time you were ready to address it, disaster had struck and you ran out of time.

As a result, Levi felt incredibly pressured on this final night before a big battle. You both had a very close call where you lost nearly everything. It was a miracle that you were still alive.

Before you could think of a proper response, he pulled you into a gentle kiss, relief soaring through his body as he felt you relax into him. He knew why he had latched so hard onto the idea of protecting you. He knew why his mind became murky and cloudy upon the idea of you being in danger. He knew why he was absolutely devastated when he saw your state after the explosion. He had loved you all along, but was too scared to acknowledge it.

You stood there for a few seconds before he slowly pulled away, resting his forehead on yours.

“Keep this between us,” he whispered. “And don’t-”

“-die on me, you idiot.” 

You finished his sentence for him with a small smirk before pulling back and looking up at him. He had noticed that you were slightly blushing and he found himself in one of the rare instances in which he was smiling and sustaining it for more than 5 seconds.

“I’ll see you tomorrow…Levi.”

You shot him another smile as you said his name.

He felt his own smile fade away as you shuffled around, preparing to turn and walk away. His grip on you tightened a bit, signaling you to stop turning. The idea of being away from you placed a strong pressure on his chest that was making it hard for him to breathe properly.

“Stay with me tonight.”

"Hmm?" you said quietly, looking up into his eyes again.

“If we might not live to see tomorrow, then stay with me tonight.”

Your gaze softened as he spoke.

“What happened to keeping this between us?”

"I'm sure I'll think of something," he said as he gently nudged you and you both walked back into his tent.

You were both short enough to be able to fully stand even inside the tent. For the first time ever since you first met him, you felt nervous around him, suddenly aware of the weight that your words now mean to him. Given Levi's past, you recognized that it likely took every ounce of strength he had in him to make that first move.

You saw him begin to take off his own mobility gear and you slowly moved your arm up and down to try to ease the newly wrapped bandages in.

He noticed your movements and walked over to you, gently placing his hands on your shoulders and turning you around to face him.

"Don’t move around too much or it’ll open again. We’re going to run out of bandages eventually."

"Well, I'm not going to be able to sit still while in battle, am I?"

He gave you an exasperated look.

"At least make it so that you don't bleed out in your sleep. You'll stain the sleeping bag."

You had to stifle a chuckle at his comment. Even in this very post-apocalyptic scenario in which you were surrounded by death and destruction, Levi Ackermann was still a neat freak.

"You know, I'm surprised you're even okay with a sleeping bag, given how dirty it can get sleeping on the ground," you teased, a playful grin showing on your face.

"I'm not, but it's not like we have much of a choice."

Just as you were about to retort with some ridiculous, unrealistic method to maintain his need to be clean despite being in the middle of the woods, he had pulled you into another kiss, although you weren't sure if it was just his way of shutting you up.

Regardless, you didn't mind. You shut your eyes as you pressed your body up against him.

Even if you might not survive to see the day after, even if disaster continued to strike, even if you might never see him again, you acknowledged that you at least had him here now—embracing you and loving you like nothing else existed except for the two of you in this very moment.

A/N: yes you can probably tell they're going to do the naughty but it's sweet uwu-vibes naughty

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi fluff #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #snk

[skaruresonic]

The idw discourse is so bad, I feel caught in the middle because each time I express how bad the storytelling is, in a new issue or how off model the characters are drawn, idw fans gang up on me. But on the other hand I don't want to be associated with the people who think think it's funny to tweet how Flynn should die or make weird assumptions about Stanley being a bad person ? Like that's weird and cruel. Hate their work not them as people.

I just decided to pretend the comic doesn't exist and it helps lol.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Idk if anyone else will tell you that, but I will, because I know how much it sucks.

One time, I saw a guy on Twitter blame us for his inability to criticize the book in what he believed was a much more "balanced" manner without getting harassed by people.

Digest that for a moment. It's our fault for other people's reaction to us. And instead of rubbing his brain cells together for a moment and questioning the reasons why this knee-jerk reaction occurs, or even reflecting on the fact that it occurs at all and perhaps realizing that the call is coming from inside the house, he fell back on old biases and decided it was the haters who were wrong.

The mental gymnastics on display here are unreal.

In this case, I think people are stumbling into the usual fallacious trap of assuming both sides carry equal weight, and thus believe that defaulting to a position of "neutrality" makes them morally superior somehow.

That's kind of what I hate about this fandom - the utter superciliousness. The rotten shit we as a fandom get up to (and no, being a little snarky in a reblog does not count as harassment) while proclaiming love and light uwu. Be nice to everyone, except those freaks over there.

"Neutrality" is in scare quotes here because it's not true neutrality, but a way of posturing to the in-group that you're not Like Us. As demonstrated by my Twitter-user anecdote, people around here don't want to say anything hater-flavored because it risks intense ostracization. That's why you have people jumping down your throat for presenting even mild criticisms. It'd be pathetic if it weren't so annoying.

I'm not talking about people who let well enough alone. I'm talking about centrists who sneer "both sides are bad," as if by distancing themselves from the situation in a smug manner, they're declaring themselves more enlightened than the rest of us.

Honestly, the other side should be just as insulted, but they're not, because this attitude only helps them in the long run.

In reality, this is more like the fishhook situation centrists have with antis vs. proshippers. Saying "this whole thing is stupid" really only benefits antis because they now have grounds to reply, "Yes, this IS stupid, don't you think proshippers are crazy for being upset at something so trivial?" while conveniently omitting the part where antis routinely send proshippers death threats and other heinous material.

Look at it from this angle: the most concrete harm I have seen their side say they've suffered is a deep discomfort and estrangement from the book. Which, yeah. That sucks. But it's also kinda on you to just click away if it makes you uncomfortable.

On the other hand, I have had legitimate crying fits because of horrible messages I received and have told people multiple times about the anon who mocked my recently-deceased mom. Which, unlike clicking away from a blog, I had no choice but to see sometimes because I was still naive enough to believe people would behave themselves in my inbox. In fact, a mutual were recently discussing our anxieties over retaliation should IDW be cancelled. There's stuff about this that you just don't want to think about because dwelling on it will freak you out.

"Both sides are bad" stings, especially in light of knowing the measures I have taken to walk on eggshells and draw proper boundaries. I literally cannot know if someone in this fandom will consider my explanations harassment and dogpiling, so I try not to reblog with commentary. On the reblogging site.

Reflect on how fucked-up that is, to feel uncomfortable adding a tag to someone's fanart because you're worried they might realize you're One of Them(tm) and shun you on that basis alone.

I won't sit here and say I've always been perfect in my conduct, but at the same time, it's just the infuriating experience of double standards all the way down. Somehow it never occurs to them that if I held them to the same standard they hold me, I could call them all out on intellectual dishonesty for refusing to engage with any of our points no matter how calmly or clearly stated because "lol ur just a hater," and tar them with the same brush as those who sent me death threats.

But ofc, things don't work out like that in the calculus of Le Sonic Discourse. It's just a rotten experience to the core.

#asks

[moregraceful]

OTP asks: Luka/Miro in Handcrafted, #49 (LOL) also #1 and #15 // ALSO Thom/Blake in Seasoned beginner, #16, #44, #53 (if you feel like it!)

Omg thank you I have wanted to talk about Handcrafted more literally since I posted it and no one ever asked!! Also thank you for asking Thom/Blake, I am on the rarepair train always and forever. Also on the Caltrain local, so here forever. Under a cut bc I don't trust myself to keep it normal.

Luka/Miro in Handcrafted

49. Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

Luka does 😭 their red string of fate will NOT let them be. But also Luka is bored and sad and in love and he misses his team and he thinks Miro doesn't like him. Often when he goes walking, it's just to clear his head and get some fresh air. He knows he'll get trapped, he knows he'll get scared, and he thinks someday Miro WON'T come find him, but he's an athlete and a human, he can't be inside all the time. He just walks out the door every couple of days praying Miro still comes to help him.

Also very fun to write Luka with big emotions that are: anxiety and sadness and so much love. Love that big emotional baby.

1. Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

Luka because he has 5000 emotions, the crux of which is: he loves Miro, plain and simple and huge. Miro getting hella steamed abt Luka getting trapped in a warehouse by dogs with too many teeth - why were you in a warehouse Luka? Don't you know you'll get stuck? Why do you do these things? Why do you do this to yourself? Luka lets out a defeated "because I love you and I want to be near you but you don't want me near you." Miro clenches his jaw and thinks about the days when they slept together in an uncomplicated way, fooling around in bedrooms on their off days. But maybe it was always complicated, he thinks, for Luka.

15. Do they always say 'i love you' before leaving?

Luka does bc he's so goofy and pathetic. Every time Miro rescues him and Roope feeds them and Miro sends him home, he stands on Esa's porch and tells Miro he loves him before he goes. It takes Miro a long time to say he loves Luka back and that's in a hypothetical future I'm still puzzling out, but in Handcrafted Dallas, Luka says I love you as much as he can. I love you, he says every time he leaves Miro, because maybe this is the last time he sees Miro. Maybe Miro says it back. Maybe Luka won't be alone this time (he is ☹️)

Thom/Blake in Seasoned Beginner

16. Can they stay up all night just talking?

If their schedules ever matched up...yes ideally, but also not really, because their schedules are opposite. They get like five seconds together during the NHL bye week before pitchers and catchers report in February. They spend three glorious days together in Blake's house in Southern California where Thom meets approximately five billion family members and spends every night post-coital with his face smashed into Blake's chest trying to breathe through the anxiety of how much Blake's family likes each other and how they like him. They think his accent is cute and Blake's mama told Thom that Blake talks about him a LOT. Thom is stressed about what that means. Thom is stressed about many things. Blake holds him close and talks about the off-season signings the Giants have made and what his buddies have been up to, names of men Thom barely knows. He wonders if it's too late to quit hockey and be Blake's full time boyfriend.

44. Who would dance in the kitchen making dinner? Would the other join in or watch from the doorway?

This is so hard to imagine bc they're both huge dorks...I think Blake would be dancing to idk some horrendous EDM while cooking and I think Thom would be helpless with lust. boy can Blake move those hips!! Thom knows like, Quebec folk dances. He doesn't know club dancing. Or like any kind of sexy dancing. Blake ALSO doesn't know any kind of dancing except Samoan dances but at this point Thom is in stupid deep and thinks everything Blake does is cool and sexy. He watches from the doorway until Blake notices and tells him to either kiss him or chop the zucchini.

53. Would they ever go skinny dipping?

Yes!!!!! And they love it!!!! They have a great time. Deep in summer when Blake has his all star break, they rent a house on the river in like....Placerville or Coloma idk and spend a couple of days just floating around the American river and playing on a tire swing and grilling wild amounts of meat and they're down so bad for each other it's kind of funny. And one day when it's later at night and all the tourist rafting companies are done for the day, they go skinny dipping at Thom's suggestion. And gosh how Blake looks in the moonlight in the water 😳 they have amazing sex after that, Thom wanted to do it outside but there were too many bugs lol.

Thank you for asking my friend!! I appreciate it!!!

#cage replies #tausendsorgen #this took me from diridon to bayshore...god thank you SO much

[jinkicake]

😒😒😒yeah scaramouche has breached the top 10 like I can’t keep seeing these edits and tan art of him in so much anguish and then looking hot saying shit like “ that’s okay, because I’ll make you dumber and dumber until the only thing you can scream is my name” HELLO??? This is a targeted attack on ME personally bc all the hot cosplayers are doing scaramouche thirst traps 😭and my poor heart can’t take being torn in two directions 😔 like on one hand he’s so emotionally stunted and mean that my absolute lack of being serious in any situation would catch him off guard. Like yeah your yelling and ranting about how the other harbingers are stupid but if I kiss you until you can’t breathe and say you look hot what then🤨🎤like he can try and be all yandere but once again I’m gon be into it idk what to tell him! Like I’m mean right back to and I’ll alphabetically list out his mommy issues while not even looking up from what I’m doing🙄he’s also feels like the type to silently but súper loudly beg for attention all day “I can’t believe how cold this bed feels right now👀👀👀👀” like the type to grab your hand and drag you places bc he wants to hold your hand but he can’t let anyone see that he needs human affection 💀 I am all here for spoiled brat scara era like you can’t convince me that he wouldn’t in ei’s room like right after snatching up the gnosis ( nothing but respect for MY electro archon🥰) and fuck you on whatever throne she has in there, in every surface possible bet if he had planned this before hand he would have found a way to do it on the ceiling too. Oh and he’s making sure everyone hears it, it’s usually raining and thundering? Yeah it’s dead quiet everyone is nervous they did something to piss the shogun off bc only the wind in the trees is what they can hear. Rip to whoever lives near that tho bc they hear nothing but the most desperate melodic screams coming from there and skin hitting skin like Rest In Peace fr bc for the next 12 hours that’s their life. Ruler of eternity bc that’s how long he’s gunna fuck you😔😔 there is definitely no mistake of what’s happening when they just hear screams of his name. Like he’s such a petty “ lmao if your a clown I’m the ringmaster” type bitch he wouldn’t care she can hear that shit from inside of her shogun puppet. If your lucky the gods might even bestow a vision in you for enduring that💕 who knows could be an electro one💀 as an “im so sorry you can’t walk anymore” but honestly I would let him, he and Venti are in the same spectrum but he’s the opposite he can “heh pathetic” his way into someone’s pants like childe but less straightforward post redemption arc he’s still the same but he’s traveling around teyvat for the perfect places to fuck you in☺️ like oh this little hidden cave in Liyue looks fine Lmao bc Xiao shows up ready to join in but he talks about it like he’s touring houses “ I think this cave would make your voice bounce off the walls nicely” SHUT UP!!!

not top ten.... come on,,,, we are better than this.... I KNOW WE ARE.

... i deeply enjoy the scara angsty fanart tho,,,, like i cried during that one specific cutscene of the archon quest and after that all of his angst just hit ten times better kekeke

OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT. him being emotionally stunted and mean MAKES him more appealing?! im sorry that i enjoy a yandere psycho! but youre so right like his desperation for any affection really does dent my yandere!scara agenda bc at the end of the day he will do everything to please you and make you happy bc he never wants you to leave him HAHAHAH like you touch him without warning him and he'll literally turn red in the face and explode,,,, SEE HE IS SO DIFFICULT like i can never pick between cute scara or psycho scara T T

omg this headcannon of archon!scara i- every time you fuck him there would be dangerous thunderstorms LOLLLLLL it's like everyone in inazuma is rolling their eyes and cursing him whenever lightening strikes and thunder claps throughout the air hehehe

0h- i feel like if you got a vision after fucking scara he would pin it to you like a badge of honor.... that would be a physical reminder proving exactly what you are to him.... his toy... his heart... idk- i truly cant decide between making him sappy or mean-

if im fucking scara in a cave and xiao shows up.... that little puppet is getting tossed aside like im kicking his ass out and fucking xiao instead like- THAT is the ONLY option

#sarahandoikawatalkshit #xiaos spicy almond tofu

[irrealisms]

How are you doing lately? You all right?

I am doing kind of poorly, to be honest! I tried to use the narrative to my advantage to break out of the negative cycles I am trapped in and set up Positive Change but instead I have become a meta commentary on existing with an audience! I had like half a feeling due to homework and suddenly all of the feelings I have been avoiding for the past year and a half slammed into me at once and I’m trying so so hard to keep myself 24/7 occupied with mindless media so that I don’t have to face my thoughts and also so as to be narratively flat and boring. I am not real and have never been real, I’m just an idea, and sometimes I can pretend that it’s fine, that this is just some sort of a joke, that I’m having fun making my audience watch YouTube videos. But I’m not. I go to the bathroom and I think, are they getting off to this? or is this getting cut? do they even give a shit about me? am i anything when i’m not aesthetically pleasing? what are my standards for ‘aesthetic’, or ‘interesting’, and why? if i think too hard about this, maybe it’ll be interesting. better open tumblr and mindlessly scroll, that’s bad content, right? fuck, I hope they’re not getting off to this, hard to put someone off if they have a kink. and I hate it! I fucking hate it! I can’t fucking do things like this and whenever I am alone with my thoughts for half a second I want to cry! and I also feel like— it’s fucking stupid because I’m putting all this up on my blog and liveblogging it in my discord server? I like narrativizing and aestheticizing. I don’t care that much about my privacy. I like the idea of being an idea God had and I don’t mind Him watching me and helping shape my life to be beautiful, I’m fine with all that. I don’t really mind being blorbo from your shows. So it feels… idk, hypocritical. To, also, mind? The being watched and being fake and being a rat in a maze and them trying to make me freak out. I don’t like that I’ve given them what they wanted after I tried so hard to Not and Be Healthy but… I don’t know, I’m tired. I’m really, really tired. I might drop out of school and it’s fucking pathetic because it’s my fifth year of it, I should have graduated last year. But I’m so fucking tired of it. But also I don’t know if I can hold down a job and I’m suspicious that I can’t, the only reason school hasn’t fired me is because I’m paying them, and I’m terrified of the idea that I won’t be able to and I’ll end up just living at home doing nothing being taken care of by my parents forever & ever & ever. And I don’t want to talk to irl people about it and I don’t want to talk to my psychiatrist about it and I don’t want gentle kid gloves treatment and I don’t want antipsychotics and I don’t know what will help I just want to hide under my bed forever and ever and I want to not be followed anymore or recorded and while I’m at it I want the rewards of Doing Things without having to actually ever do things I don’t want to do.

So, uh, yeah. Not… the most alright. I’m fine! I’m fine. I am eating three meals a day and sleeping 8-10 hours a night. I have the gold star in Not Wanting To Die Anymore. I am Better Than Last Year and for that matter I am better than the year before that and the year before that and so on and so on for the last twenty years. Not literally every year, but most of them. It’s… whatever, I guess.

Kinda want to make a web weave or something about How Things Have Been Recently but it feels obnoxious tbh even if it’s a self aware sort of obnoxious. my entire blog and my writing is sort of a more elaborate version of that, anyway. then again it’s fun sometimes to elaborately make a FUCK OFF! STOP WATCHING ME!

Also [insert generic OCD fears about what if I’m wrong about morality] + [generic anger about what if I’m right and have let my fear of hurting people suppress all my thoughts and opinions for no reason] pops up on occasion but way less than it used to. Score one for therapy, I guess.

#hi . sorry to traumadump . i am doing. bad #therapists dni #a bit of a truman show complex

[jambeast]

Longpost

Tumblr is a funny place

Okay so you have to understand why I thought this was a parody, right? I didn’t know people even said that kind of thing anymore. 

Anonymous asked:

Kill yourself

Would rather not

Anonymous asked:

white little fuck. I hope you get shot and get a taste of the misery you give to all other people on earth.

I think I make a lot of people very happy!

Anonymous asked:

Just sitting in your little echo chamber covering your eyes. One day you will be forced to listen and see. And I hope the agony you feel then is strong enough to stop your heart.

That last line is quite poetic, I’ll give you that.

Anonymous asked:

ppl don’t like taika waititi bc he’s fucking anti-black. It’s well documented. He’s racist as fuck. But fangirlies only listen to each other, Tiktok and Instagram ig.

I don’t really care to investigate that much but, like, is there any evidence other that isn’t really, really, really insubstantial? You have to forgive me for not trusting your judgement, or the specific tumblr posts that list his crimes. You gotta make a Persuasive Argument for that!

Anonymous asked:

Just went through your blog and oh my god. You have got to be some conservative far right psyop bc if you’re genuinely leftist and against racism and for LGBTQ+ rights, you are painfully stupid.

I don’t call myself a ‘Leftist’ - I call myself Left-ish. Big difference! 

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

Anonymous asked:

Die

I appreciate the dedication

Anonymous asked:

Pedophile. Die.

Anonymous asked:

Antisemite. Die.

Anonymous asked:

Nazi apologist. Die.

Anonymous asked:

Racist. Die.

Would You Care To Substantiate Your Accusation

Anonymous asked:

“the last principled liberal” LMAOOOOO HOW ARE YOU THIS CLUELESS??

Would you care to clue me in to what you think it is I’m missing, exactly?

Anonymous asked:

always in good faith huh. Might wanna recheck that part. Unless it’s sarcasm idk it’s hard to tell over text but tbh you’ve done a pretty shit job of that

What do you think good faith means?

Anonymous asked:

Hey anon from earlier before. Well you said grovel not me lmao but now that we’re here. Grovel. Get on your hands and knees and suck me from the back. Then press your face into the muddy earth and leave an imprint of your indignity. And once you’re done with that, bite your fingers and tongue off and bleed in the dirt.

[In reference to This Post] Kinky. This reads like the kind of thing that would get that one person mad about it being allowed to be hosted on AO3. You’re glorifying violence! Sexual violence, even! Well I for one support your freedom to be a pervert on the internet.

Anonymous asked:

glad you think it’s funny lol

Yeah haha

Anonymous asked:

you can pretend to not be bothered. You can even convince yourself. But you’re brain will echo the words, and like it or not they will affect you, as words do. And the bit of me left in your brain will keep saying it until the day you die.

These reads like the last words of a vengeful AI trapped in a bottle. But like, please, try and look at this from an outside perspective. You -have- to be able to see, on some level, how pathetic this looks.

Anonymous asked:

The confidence that there’s only one person out there that hates you so much they want you dead lmao….wake up sis

I’m sure I’ve gotten anon hate from more than one person before. But I’m preeeeeetty confident that this particular streak is at least 90% you. If you want to impersonate a crowd you have to, like, mix up your writing styles. Mix up your angle.

Anonymous asked:

Go ahead. Report me. You can’t. And I’ll come back.

No these are really funny.

Anonymous asked:

I hope it did ruin it

[In reference to This Post] Well the way you would ruin it is by being a parody? I’m not sure if you understand what I was getting at there.

Anonymous asked:

“show how dumb those sjw are” lmao. I can literally feel how rancid you are from here. Let me guess. You are a cis het white person, and you just HATE that you can’t say slurs and talk about “those blacks” and the “faggots” and the like. If I’m wrong, you might wanna fix up your image babygirl.

You have a very vivid imagination. Plus, I don’t see anything wrong with the image of a cis het white person! They’re okay, just like every other combination of genders, sexualities and ethnicities :)

Anonymous asked:

I’ll keep coming back, don’t worry.

Looking forward to it.

Anonymous asked:

someday, whatever force you believe in, be it nature or karma, will catch up with you. I can be patient.

Almighty God read my tumblr blog and is Really Fucking Angry about my opinion on the movie 300.

Alright that wraps it up for tonight.

[girlwithfish]

most saddest pathetic girl everrr i was feleing sad and then just stuck in indecision thinking of thjngs i Could do to make myself feel better like takena walk bjt feeling trapped in all the things i have to do that r easy but i cant do that easily bc im stupid then thought i need to start eating twice a day like two full meals bc i thjnk my eating patterns r not helping me and probably contributing to the fatigue idk i need more nutrition and energy probablyy then i fell asleep for an hour and now the sun is gone and i sitll have to get upnd make foodnso i can feel energized so i can start my project but i feel like a sad unmotivated frozen girl who cant grt out of bed i feel so lamee lol

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary173

3/5-6/2024

tuesday - wednesday

off for 2 days now.

i recorded today, but idk if i like all of it. it's hard to get the word "he'd" right. maybe just especially because i'm starting on it. it's a hard word to begin with.

i was gonna mess with the mix on the vocals more but ableton crashed and i was at work until 10 instead of 9, so i'm tired, and i was starving as usual and stuff. so i'm maybe gonna call it here today. i did wanna do another song but idk. it's good to figure this harder stuff out right now i suppose. i think it's really annoying that this song in particular will crash ableton. very stupid imo.

it's frustrating, also, that this song is just really a single problem area vocally, the start of it, i can't figure out how to say the thing right.

might have a better idea tomorrow though, i need to sleep.

one thing, today, is that as i was walking home, or maybe to begin with, today while walking to work, i saw lots of cops out in this shopping plaza, for no reason, or i guess maybe i know now, but the homeless camp i saw, where there were tents and a community of people helping, and people who would come by and help, stuff like that, it was all gone, beyond even being gone, seeing the void there, it was like giving you the idea nothing was ever there. i've seen people living that way for a long time now, and especially recently. i guess pigs came and took them all away. it makes me very upset, and sick, that this happens, and that there's multiple apparatuses that are made to make invisible and untouchable the maladies that the system we are trapped in creates/births.

either way, i don't know what else to say. i saw a security guard getting all buddy with cops, a pathetic admiration from a guy who probably failed to become one himself.

anyways. that's all today, maybe. i did read, ofc, when i got to work early. i also got my card today. oh that's stuff i have to talk about. i saw my stepdad today, he was kind enough to bring the card to me, i imagined i'd walk over or something at some point, but i have it now. i bought clothes already. he was talking to me about how things are at home, or i guess just little pieces, i didn't pry too much. i guess because i know he sees things in skewed ways, especially with my mom. but she did not tell me that their dog, one of them, one that they had for 18 years, died. i feel very bad for my stepdad who loved that dog very much. one of his best friends on earth i think. she apparently died on superbowl sunday. she has been cremated. she was originally my mom's, but his affection for the dog eventually made the dog his i suppose. my mom really resented that, and that he didn't take especially great care of her. i think she blames him. on some level, i guess she would be right. he didn't bathe her enough, and she was likely very unhealthy because of a very unclean mouth, one that had no teeth left inside. frustrating stuff, but he loved the dog. he kind of lives with very little, my stepdad, he could have more than what he has, but he elects to instead hoard food, hoard resources, and not clean himself or let anyone else be as clean as they would like really. it's not good. but i guess it explains why he thought taking her to get groomed rarely made sense or something. it seems common for people of a certain age/generation to hoard food and stuff like that. always interested in tiny gadgets too. for some reason.

i would like to record and stuff tomorrow, but i have to get up a bit earlier to make that happen. and then idk. more mixing. more mixing and more mixing. i want to get out of the 1 song a day rut. i really want to do 2 tomorrow. ...

anyway i keep making typos and stuff and i'm sleepy, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starry-crystal-skull]

🐈 & initials: MI

I wanted to ask for a career question but you specialized most on love and relationships, so is it okay to ask about my future husband?

oki ill use shufflemancy to figure out who he is, maybe some facts on him also, and what kind of person he is

the song i got before all the others (the prelude song) is lauren by men i trust. first of all, the name lauren might be of import when it comes to this situation, which is that you might realize that your husband actually isn't all you could ever want and start cheating on him. you also will get off on cheating on him, as you feel justified in your corrupted actions by the fact that your husband is sub par. and it literally gets you off so much that you literally get off sexually to it. you literally have to hold back from giggling whenever you see your husband, bc he's such a sucker. you literally think it's such a cool situation, it's a feeling that i couldn't describe other than feeling like god or being an angel living in god's heaven. it's almost a culty like feeling, like you're an evil cultist who is so easily deceiving everyone around them, like total villian power mode, and you genuinely want to laugh in such an evil way at the poor, pathetic saps that were stupid enough to fall into your trap. like literally like you're the sociopath in olivia rodrigo's and that other guy's songs, both titled sociopath and being abt sociopaths of the opposite gender. and you fooled them so much they're both talking abt you.

the first song that came up is mind of mind by zayn. this song also gives off a feeling of wanting to commit adultery, but, perhaps this song is meant to portray how he feels abt it. idk that's just the feeling i got

the second song that comes up is I'm not surprised by unlike pluto. this song just gives off the impression that you always knew your husband was sub-par or you always at least got the impression that he would let you down and disappoint you in the future. and then he ended up being just what you thought he'd be, a failure. a sub-par loser who could never be your dream guy. and you literally are not surprised.

the third song i got was parasyte by hvdes, which seems to be indicating that there are demons in your house and your house is haunting. all these songs have had a haunting feeling to them so far, so I'd say that also something extremely horrible is going to happen, like rape and abuse starting to happen. like he might literally start treating you like shit and committing marital rape and adultery and act like it's nothing and treat you with such disdain and contempt. and so that really explains the culty vibe.

the fourth song is you wanted more by violent vira. I'd recommend you give it a listen, you'll probably get the message easy.

hope this helped!

#asks #oracle reading #love reading

[pxrxmoore]

...

#oh fuckin rude there’s still a 30 tag limit wtf tumblr let me be an emotional mess without a limit thank you #tw depression #just ignore all this sorry lads #anyway anyway idk rly if there’s a conclusion to all this but #it hurt so much my whole body was in pain last night and I cried myself to sleep 🙃 #and like she just ? didn’t get it I was like thanks for making me feel worse I know other ppl have it much worse 🙃 #idk I just don’t know like wtf is it like to have family that give a fuck about u #and she was like well why don’t we spend more time together we could watch a movie or something each night like we’re in the same house and #I barely see u #and tht was like a cute thing to say but also made me feel even more guilty which is dumb bc liek why should I feel guilt over that when she #acts like this to me telling me to grow up and get a grip #idk I just feel trapped and stupid and pathetic #and like I’ve felt all those things since I was 14 so 🙃 just rly like hammered it home u know #also idk if this is just me fixating on stuff but she came and apologised after and hugged me and I just cried again cause I’m a baby #and she was like of course I love you and I support you #and then like we chatted and she said it again but it was like #she was like of course I love u lots ur my daughter #and my depressed dumb brain was like oh so u only love me bc u have to bc I’m ur child #idk whatever anyway sorry for this I’m #gonna shut up now 😌

[sugawara-sweetheart]

𝔰𝔫𝔞𝔯𝔢 (𝔪)

❥yamaguchi tadashi x fem!reader

❥warnings: yandere, dubcon, ill-prepped sex, bleeding, guilt-tripping & manipulation, jealousy and possessiveness, toxic relationship, vomit (not like that dw)

❥word count: 3.7k

❣︎anon: Hello love! I hope you’re having a good day :) I was hoping to request a yandere!yamaguchi fic where he’s the team captain and reader is the manager. Maybe after a really bad practice game he manipulates reader into dating him by saying sumn like “oh if we are together the teams foundation will be stronger”. And like through out their relationship it shows how he will guilt her into staying and fucking him but she doesn’t realize he’s toxic and is just like “ he just loves me a lot and is kinky lol” (sorry idk if this makes sense essentially just Yan!yamaguchi dating manager!reader lol)

he strikes when morale is low.

you can see devastation etched on everyone’s faces. hinata’s shoulders slouch with utter dejection, kageyama’s jaw is clenched tightly and there’s worry and shame across the first years’ faces. a sense of hopelessness.

you want to cry. being manager wasn’t something you were new to- you’d been working as one of them since your first year- but this was yamaguchi’s first year of being captain. this was the first practise game of the year and the loss was devestating. any chance of going to nationals this year seemed like a far away dream, like trying to grasp smoke.

“don’t mind, guys.” you hope your smile isn’t shaky but you don’t get much of a reply as the boys head to the clubroom, leaving you and yamaguchi the only ones remaining outside the gym. the air feels cool on your skin, the sky tinged with streaks of pink and a warm glow as the sun sets below the hills.

“i’m not doing great as captain, am i?” yamaguchi murmurs. you frown at him, mouth falling open but he contunues, staring off at the scenic distance with the tangerine sun reflected in his round, dejected orbs. “i shouldn’t have been captain- if tsukki or kageyama-”

“no, tadashi.” he looks stunned and you hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel as you smile gently. “you’re an amazing captain- this was just a tiny bump in the road but i know you’ll lead the team syccessfully, just like ennoshita, just like daichi.” the mention of your former captains makes him smile slightly, a wistful longing apparent in his face. “i know you will. don’t worry, this was just one practise match and everyone knows dateko is a bitch to play with.” he chuckles, nodding and as you gaze at the setting sun you notice him edging closer towards you.

“i’m really glad you’re our manager, y/n.” he beams and your heart flutters at his sweet words, warmth tingling through you as you grin. “i feel like you’ll really help our team feel so much stronger as manager, but..” he trails off with an awkward chuckle that has you narrowing your eyes.

“tadashi?”

“no, you’ll think i’m stupid- i’m just being dumb-” hesitation is etched all over his face, brewing with anxiety and it makes your chest twinge as you shake your head, trying to ignore how endearing he looks with his freckled cheeks flushed pink.

“no, no, don’t think that! tadashi, what is it?” the corners of his lips tug in a shy smile as he rubs the back of his reddened neck.

“uh- i-i was thinking...well, you’re really pretty and i’ve always liked you, but because you’re manager too, if we- um- you know- we’d be such a stronger team…”

his cheeks glow bright pink, doe eyes widened and you can’t help the smile that stretches across your face, utter warmth flooding through you. so innocent, so sweet, your heart drums against your rib cage as you try to resist the giggle that escapes you.

“tadashi, are you trying to ask me out?” he looks worried, a little crease between his brows as he stammers over his words.

“i-ive always liked you- it’s not just for the team, that’s more of a bonus- it’s okay if you don’t want to, i know...i know i wouldn’t be a girl’s first choice but-”

“nonsense.” he falls silent, blinking in shock as you slide your fingers into his, squeezing his warm hand tight. “you’re my first choice.”

the thing with traps is that they never look obvious. a serpent under the innocent flower. and yamaguchi was the perfect trap.

it starts off sweet- it always does.

you’re not sure how such a sweet angel has been single for so long because your life becomes entirely better with yamaguchi brightening it up. he’s there every morning at the end of your garden bolding a can of coffee and his other outstretched for you to slip yours into, to let him place a gentle kiss on the back of it before you make your way together to school. he’s so proud to tell the team you’re dating- it’s such a thrill to have him announce it with a sense of pride, his eyes softening as he gazes at you whilst hinata cheers him on and yachi is bursting with questions to ask you. and he’s so besotted with you, every bit of free time he wants to spend with you- tugging your hand during breaks at practise, pulling you into empty corridors at school to make out with you pressed against the wall, his leg nudging between your thighs, his hand always entwined with yours whenever you’re both walking, every evening and weekend spent together.

until it starts to feel like too much.

“y/n,” you sigh heavily when hinata clings to your sleeve, resting his head on your shoulder with his brown eyes wide and pleading. “please, please- i’ll buy you meat buns!”

“shōyō, what are you on about?” you’re half-amused by your friend, the friend you’d had since your first year at karasuno, the same friend that encouraged not just yachi to be manager of the volleyball team but you too. if there was anyone you trusted more than yamaguchi and yachi, it’d be hinata- the sweet, vivacious boy you’d spent so many happy times with.

“help us study!” he cries, gesturing to himself and a sheepish-looking kageyama stood a few steps away. “we’re going to fail the exams without your help!” you can’t help but laugh at the same occurrence that happens every exam season without fail, nodding slowly as smiles brighten up the two boys’ faces.

“fine, fine. we’ll study tonight and on the weekend- but next time come to me earlier! you know maths is on tuesday-”

“what’s going on?” you can’t explain why your chest suddenly feels tight when yamaguchi’s bright, tender voice fills your ears. his soft scent of linen envelopes you as he takes his seat on the bench beside you, tsukishima right by his side and you’re not sure why a smile seems to hard to plaster on your face as your boyfriend slides his arms around you.

“y/n’s helping us study for our exams!” hinata beams. you’re aware of tsukishima scoffing, the three volleyball players beginning to squabble childishly, but all you can focus on is yamaguchi’s eyes burning into you. from the corner of your eye you can see the hurt flashing across his face, his head tilting to the side as he speaks quietly.

“you’re helping them study?” you frown slightly at the tone of his voice, nodding with an awkward smile tugging at your lips.

“yeah- just tonight and on the weekend. why?” yamaguchi’s face scowls slightly as his lips are pulled into a thin line. you don’t like the look that lingers in his eyes, the same look he has when you’re chatting away to a classmate instead of him, when you compliment kageyama or the second years on their abilities, when you ask hinata tenderly if he’s okay after he’s had a ball to the face. why does he always look so scorned? you hate the heavy feeling that twinges in your chest when he does.

“alone?” you have to laugh- it’s the only one way to brush it off but he doesn’t look pleased, even when you force yourself to relax in his arms and brush your lips against his cheek.

“don’t be like that, tadashi.”

but he is like that. it seems to be a regular occurrence, and it worsens. anxiety brews in your stomach, weighing you down and making you feel sick every time. hinata hugged you for a moment too long after a successful practise game, his head buried in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around you, and yamaguchi refused to even look at you the whole way home, a sour look on his face and his eyes fixated on the road ahead whilst you pleaded and begged for his attention. but nothing- he just left you on your doorstep sniffling and your throat raw from the constant apologies. one time you walked with tsukishima to practise after a lesson with him, smiling and laughing as he shared with you his warm childhood memories of yamaguchi, but your boyfriend didn’t see it like that. your heart dropped the moment you locked eyes with him standing by the gym expectantly, utter betrayal and hurt etched on his face you wanted to sink to your knees then and beg for his forgiveness.

“girls don’t really like me.” he’d sniffled afterwards in your bedroom. “they just use me for tsukishima, they always have- i really thought you liked me for me, y/n.”

“i do, tadashi, i do.” your eyes are hot with frustrated tears as you crouch before him, nuzzling your face into his thigh. “please believe me when i say it wasn’t like that! you know i love you.” his wet eyes sparkle when you say that, face lighting up.

“r-really?” you nod eagerly, not resisting him when he cups your face and brings your lips to his, kissing you sweetly and tenderly. and when you think it’s all solved dread begins to seep into you again as he takes your hand and presses it against his hardening cock.

“t-tadashi,” yamaguchi’s face crumples at the tone in your voice. “i-i’m not ready- you know that-”

“i thought you liked me.” he spits bitterly. it’s the same words, the same words that always makes you feel so pathetic, so useless and shitty, breaking yamaguchi’s heart over and over. so you hold back the salty tears and try not to think too hard about it when you let him use your mouth, trying not to feel hurt. this is normal, you tell yourself. yamaguchi deserves it, you hurt him earlier, but you still hate every moment of it.

eventually you start avoiding people. it feels like every interaction yamaguchi watches goes wrong and ends with him upset, hurt, betrayed, insecure and the guilt of it, the consequences where you have to make amends weighs down too heavy on you.

“you treat me like shit, i just feel like you don’t care.”

“a good manager doesn’t flirt around with the other players- you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!”

“why am i never good enough for you? i’m not even good enough for the team and now I'm not good enough for you.”

the simple thing is just to simply stay away.

the team are confused when you’re suddenly curt and cold towards the first and second years, no longer sweetly encouraging them with enthusiastic compliments and kind words. you have to hold back the tears that prickle your eyes when you see the look of hurt flash across hinata’s face, the sparkle dulling in his brown eyes, when you push him away when he tries to hug you but yamaguchi’s eyes piercing into your back serves as a reminder. your friends see less of you when you decline hanging out with them at lunch to be with yamaguchi instead and you hate how they frown at you with unfamiliarity.

“what’s wrong with you, y/n? why do you keep ditching us now that you have a man?” you want to explain, you really do, but how do you tell them that you don’t want to hurt yamaguchi too, you don’t want him to cry to you about how he feels neglected and pushed aside like you don’t care anymore? how do you tell them you don’t want to have to use your mouth or hands to make it up to him? so you let them be hurt instead, you pull away till they pass you in the hallways without even so much as glancing at you.

you think it’ll get better, that yamguchi will be happier now. but it all breaks down at the inter-high tournament when winning is so close, so close you can almost taste the sweet victory on your tongue. the gym is tense and the boys are playing hard and you’re holding your breath, heart pounding as you will them to win the semi-finals. they’re so close to getting through. it’ll save you if they do.

but they lost. bile burns in the back of your throat when the referee blows his whistle and the shock and dejection floods through the team. your bitter tears match theirs but for a different reason altogether. your body shakes when yamaguchi envelopes it, his tears staining your shoulder and you hate his fingers pressing into your body because you realise you’ll probably have to use it later.

he asks you to come over to his later that night. his eyes are bloodshot and freckled cheeks stained with tears when he asks, his voice cracking and with the rest of the team surrounding you, you can’t say no. you’re their manager, a pillar of the team, and yamaguchi’s girlfriend. how could you say no? so you go, inhaling the cold air and ignoring the dark dread that festers inside you.

“are you cold?” yamaguchi sniffles as you walk, his eyes focused on your shaking hand. you shake your head but as he reaches for you, you have to will yourself not to flinch. you’re not scared of him, you can’t be.

“i’m a rubbish captain.” he mumbles later on, shoulders slouching with dejection. your chest twinges as you sit beside him on the end of his bed, gazing at his forlorn eyes that he can’t even bear to look at you with, utter sympathy flooding you as you reach out for his hand. “everyone thinks it.”

“no one thinks that, tadashi.” you murmur softly, edging closer to him and squeezing his hand. he looks up at you slowly, his dark eyes wide and adoring. “you’re an amazing captain-” you’re cut off by his lips pressing against yours, the kiss hot and feverous as he slides your entwined hand down to his crotch, pressing it enough for you to feel his erection hardening under your touch.

“tadashi-” you groan when you try to pull away but yamaguchi just kisses you more, his other hand cupping the back of your head as he tries to force his tongue into your mouth as you grimace. “tadashi-” you push him away, saliva coating your lips you can’t help but scowl as you wipe it away, yamaguchi watching you with his face falling. “not now, i’m not re-”

“so now i’m a rubbish boyfriend too!” he cries.

you’re stunned as you watch him twist away from you, his pouting lip beginning to tremble and your heart wrenches when you see the tears beginning to flood his eyes, his freckles cheeks becoming flushed as a heaviness settles in your chest.

“i didn’t say that.” you murmur. how stupid of you. he was already feeling sensitive and now you’re making him feel worse, letting his insecurities flood him more and more when you’re supposed to uplift him. how are you messing this up so badly? “don’t say that, tadashi, you know you’re wonderful.”

“then why don’t you want me? every time you say no-” he sniffles, rubbing at the reddened tip of his nose. “why can’t i just do anything right?”

“tadashi, it isn’t like that.” a thick lump rises in your throat as he stares at you expecrantly when you wrap your arm around his shoulders, tenderly ruffling the back of his head. “i’m sorry- you do everything right.” you try not to whimper when you slide your other hand along his thigh, goosebumps pebbling your skin as an icy chill runs down your spine. “i’m sorry- let’s- we can do this.”

you try not to tremble when he peels off your clothes, mouthing kisses at your cold body as his hands roam over you. it feels weird- you’d never been touched before but it hurts when he pinches your nipples and you force yourself not to squirm when he pushes you onto the bed, straddling you as he spreads your legs.

“tadashi-” you whine when he touches your folds, a horrible coldness washing over you. it doesn’t feel like when you touch yourself but you push it away from your mind, telling yourself you’ll like it when he actually does something, you’ll get wet when he fingers you or something. but yamaguchi doesn’t, instead pulling off his clothes and your heart thumps when you realise how fucking big he is. he’s thick and long, painfully hard with the reddened tip leaking precum, a deep moan escaping him as he strokes himself.

“i’ve been waiting for this for so long- you’re going to feel so good.” he groans as he slides his cock along your folds. it feels weird and you’re not even wet but yamaguchi doesn’t take any notice of your squirming.

“tadashi- wait, i want to-” he slaps away your hand when you reach down to touch yourself, instead twining his fingers with yours and pressing your hands flat against the mattress.

“don’t worry,” he coos as he kisses you, lips tasting salty. “i’ll take care of you.”

you can’t even scream when he shoves his cock into you. it burns, the pain agonising and your back arches off the bed, mouth dropping open with silent screams. blood rings in your ears, yamaguchi’s moans as your nails drag down his back sounding so distant like you’ve been plunged under water. it feels like you could die. your tight walls are ripped apart by his thick cock, anguish burning in you and hot tears stinging your eyes as soft sobs escape you.

“oh- you’re so warm, you’re taking me so well. pretty girl, i’m so lucky to have you.” you cry as he kisses you, disgust seeping into you as he fills up your cunt. how could he be so oblivious? or does he simply not care?

“ta-tadashi- i c-can’t!” he ignores you, busying himself with kissing away your tears and you can’t fight him off as he cages you in. it’s torture when he drives his hips into yours, ripping through the flesh and you’re almost grateful for your body’s natural lubrication when you feel the odd moisture between your legs. that’s until you see the redness coating his cock when he pounds it into you and your vision is blurred by the hot tears, your sobs barely shushed by yamaguchi’s soothing hushes and tender kisses that feel so jarring, so wrong.

“i love you.” he grunts. “i love you so much- you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” hot tears run down your cheeks as you turn your head to the side, staring blankly out of his window as the sharp pains run through your body every time his cockhead bruises your cervix. “i love you.” he wants you to say it back but you just feel sick and pained, a cold sweat breaking over your body. when will this be over? you clench your eyes shut, trying to swallow the bitter taste on your dry tongue, trying to pretend it feels okay, bearable even, but it doesn’t and you’re relieved when his throbbing cock pulls out. hot ropes of cum splatter over your folds and you feel like you’ve been split apart.

“you okay?” your heart drums when you see the pinkish fluid clinging to your pussy, the deep scarlet trickling out of your abused hole. “wow, you were a virgin?” yamaguchi’s smile makes you feel sick, your stomach churning. “i can’t believe i was your first. and you were mine.” he reaches out to take your hand into his but you’re quick to turn away, to hold back your hair as you can’t fight the urge to puke all over the side of the bed, tears stinging your eyes and the back of your throat burning.

*

“hey, y/n. what are you doing here?” you can’t help but start at the sound of the voice, but relief floods through you and your racing heart calms when you see it’s just yachi, a sweet yet confused smile on her face as she approaches. you’re sat against the brick wall behind the gym, staring out at the fields and hills stretching out into the distant blue sky. “aren’t you coming to practise?”

“i don’t know.” you murmur, pausing to take a sip of your water. “i’m actually considering resigning.” you don’t want to meet yachi’s eyes when she yelps with surprise, her eyes widening.

“what? why? a-are you crazy? the team loves you so much, i don’t want to be manager alone!” you can’t help but smile dryly at her desperate wail, glancing at her from the corner of your eye.

“you’ll have the new first year manager.”

“it’s not the same.” yachi pouts, her shoulders slouching. but then the look on her face becomes serious, anxious almost, as she shuffles closer to you, her eyes a little wide. you don’t like the look of cautious sympathy evident in them, her hands clumsily fumbling with the hem of her shirt.

“y/n, is this because of yamaguchi?” you freeze. blood pounds in your ears as you stare at yachi, the look on her face too serious for this to be a joke.

“what? no!” your laugh sounds forced and she doesn’t even crack a smile as she narrows her eyes, scrutinising you carefully with a look of worry etched on her face.

“please tell me if something’s not right. h-hinata says you’re getting really distant from everyone, and sometimes you look a bit...scared? is something wrong?”

yamaguchi forcing his cock into your dry hole. his cries to weigh you down and smother you with guilt. suspicious whispers that leave you scared to even smile at a classmate. his constant presence, his hand gripping yours, because he tells you he doesn’t ever want to be apart from you, he loves you too much not realising he’s drowning you.

“no.” yachi looks surprised as your strong declaration. “he loves me a lot. and i love him. everything’s fine.”

but your face falls as you hear the harsh snapping of a stray twig and yamaguchi’s standing by the corner, his hands curled into a fist and betrayal burning in his eyes.

#tw.dubcon #tw.yandere #tw.manipulation #cw.vomit #darkconfectionery #yandere!yamaguchi #yandere Yamaguchi imagines #yandere Yamaguchi x reader #yandere Yamaguchi #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyuu x reader #yandere haikyuu imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #Yamaguchi imagines #Yamaguchi x reader #neems’ queueueuuee :3

[waithyuck]

smile

***part of the nct almost collab by @hyucksie***

pairing: zhong chenle x reader (f)

genre: ANGST, a single grain of fluff

word count: 7k

warnings: swearing, depictions of depression, overall sadness, frustration/anger, the reader is sort of obsessed with chenle, heartbreak, descriptions of a panic attack + anxiety, chenle becomes an ass :/, forced kissing, hyuck is a good friend :)

a/n: my piece for the ALMOST collab! I hope you all enjoy this mess of feelings 🥴 idk if this is actually good or not but I think I’m happy with the way it turned out ??? idk anyway enjoy lmao

———

Ever since you could remember, you’ve had a crush on Chenle.

Literally ever since you could remember, considering he’s been in your life since you were five years old.

Classic boy next door trope, you could say.

You attended the same school and even shared classes together throughout your elementary and middle school years. High school obviously had a lot more freedom, giving you the opportunity to pick and choose classes that suited your interests. naturally, that pulled the two of you apart in a certain sense.

You could recall one instance in the very beginning of your freshman year where you caught Chenle and some random girl kissing behind the bleachers. It tore you apart inside, so young a fragile at the time, but you threw on a smile like you always tended to do, and let out a quick and airy apology before running off into the safety of Donghyuck’s arms.

Nonetheless, you and Chenle were pretty damn close; kind of like those best friends you see in books or stories...except that in fiction they usually end up together, and you and Chenle, well...haven’t yet.

You still had hope though, that maybe he felt the same way you did for him. You held onto that hope and cherished it, considering it was the only reason you could get up and face the world on most days.

Yeah, you knew it was pathetic. at least you could acknowledge the fact that relying on feelings from a boy you liked was incredibly stupid, but hey, you had the brain of a senior in high school.

Anyway, you and Chenle were very friendly toward each other, and of course you would talk to each other out your individual windows sometimes late at night, but it wasn’t like those stories people read online. You were simply really good friends; nothing like brother and sister, but certainly not anything more than just friends.

You’d say you probably know more about Chenle than most; besides your shared friends Donghyuck (who was already in university, and your closest friend next to Chenle) and Jisung (who was just a tad bit younger and too shy to really hold a conversation with you). You paid close attention to him because, well, who doesn’t want to know everything about the person they’re crushing on?

Even so, it was definitely a given that Chenle was extremely passionate about his schoolwork and his future career. This kid wanted to be the ‘best lawyer the world has ever seen’, according to himself. You were always supportive of him, egging him on when the workload got to him and assuring him that everything would be okay in the end, even when he was exhausted from all his extracurricular activities and volunteering. Chenle seriously seemed like he would work himself to death.

You never really fully processed what him being passionate about his future would mean for you, and how it would affect your relationship and friendship with him. You didn’t even know that he applied to universities at all (since he didn’t tell you and you were kind of oblivious, to be honest), let alone which ones he strived for.

Fast forward to the present, it was currently the middle of November and school was going full swing, your senior year of high school passing by like a breeze. You were currently hanging out with Donghyuck, who was in town for the weekend from his university in the next city over. It was always nice to see him, his presence always putting a smile on your face.

You both sat at a window seat in the middle of a fairly busy restaurant, joking with each other and picking at your food lightly as you conversed. It grew silent for a moment, your chuckles dying down from some stupid attempt at a joke by Hyuck, before he broke it.

“Did you hear that Chenle got into Harvard?” Donghyuck absentmindedly spoke quietly, picking at the salad seated in front of him on the restaurant table. “Full fucking ride.” He didn’t even look up to meet your now bulging eyes.

Your blood ran ice cold as your heart began to seemingly stop beating, freezing just like your veins.

“He what?” you practically screeched, causing the boy across from you to jump slightly.

Hyuck looked at you then, his cheeks filled with food as he grasped his chest dramatically.

“Uh yeah?” he replied like it was obvious. “He’s really passionate about his career choice, you know.”

“Of course I know!” you shrieked at him, your hands going up to pull at your hair exasperatedly. You chewed your lip, your heart pounding and squeezing in your chest at the notion of Chenle’s inevitable departure from your life. “What, you think I wouldn’t know that the boy I’ve known since I was a LITERAL CHILD, isn’t passionate about his future?!”

Donghyuck was now looking around the both of you, taking notice of the strangers who were now staring at your visibly panicked form.

“Y/N, calm down, please–“

“I’m calm! I’m perfectly fine! ahah,” you chewed on your nails frantically as you tried to quiet your mouth and your mind, your leg shaking nonstop under the table, causing the silverware to shake.

You distracted yourself by looking out the window to your immediate left, trying to watch the people walk by like it was some sort of therapy for your bustling thoughts.

“Why didn’t he tell us he was applying to–“ you cut yourself off quietly, stopping your question short. ”...How does he know already?” you asked, your voice small.

“Early action or some shit, I guess.”

It was quiet for a few minutes between you both; Hyuck continued to munch on his salad and you could feel his eye warily watching you as you chewed your nails to nubs.

“...Are you okay?” he finally questioned, his voice comforting as he pulled you from out of your own head.

“Just,” you bit your lip, your eyes spaced out as you stared down at the floor. “Why couldn’t he have picked a school around here?” Your voice was small and quiet, and you could hear the boy across from you sigh. “Why couldn’t he just do that, like you?”

He didn’t really say anything then, picking up the fact that those were most definitely rhetorical questions. You didn’t touch any more of your food, your stomach tied up in knots, making you feel sick.

“Y/N...”

You didn’t look at him, your face hot with embarrassment from how much pain your heart was actually feeling at the news that Chenle, the boy you have loved for years, would be leaving you.

“He’s really excited about this...you…” he trailed off, trying to pick his next words carefully. “You need to show him some support, even though I know it hurts you.”

You knew that deep down, Hyuck was absolutely right. What kind of friend would you be if you were selfish and kept yourself wrapped up in your own feelings? You sniffled and picked your head back up, finally looking at him.

“You’re right. you are absolutely right.” you finally breathed out, trying to slowly calm your aching anxiety. “Just like always, Hyuck.” You cracked a slight smile then, and he returned it, seeming relieved that you snapped out of your panic, even if it was just a little bit.

“At least you can acknowledge it, angel.” He sent you a wink along with the pet name, and you jokingly gagged, which caused the both of you to laugh.

With the mood seemingly lifted, you were able to enjoy the rest of your time with Donghyuck, even if the anxiety of Chenle leaving was still a heavy presence in the back of your reeling mind.

——

That same night, you laid yourself across your pillows and stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to change out of your slightly uncomfortable jeans. The lights were on and all was quiet as you laid trapped in your own thoughts, the inevitable scene of your crush of many, many years leaving replaying on loop inside your head.

You tried to distract yourself by working on some miscellaneous homework assignments, trying to get your work done as quickly and efficiently as possible.

You were just getting in the flow of writing a rough draft for an essay when you heard your mother yell up the steps at you.

“Y/N!” she called, startling you. when you replied with a ‘Yeah?’ she continued, “Chenle is here, I’m sending him up!”

Your heart jumped and you quickly shot up from your bed, trying to get rid of any clothes strewn around your floor to at least make your room somewhat presentable. As you slammed the hamper lid shut, you heard a small knock on the door before Chenle let himself in, already beaming at you.

“Y/N, I have some awesome news!” he immediately spoke, shutting the door behind him. You will yourself not to let your heart sink, already knowing what he wanted to share with you he reached behind him to grab his book bag, and once it was in his grasp he set it on the floor, taking a seat beside you on your bed.

You tried not to let your heart race as his shoulder brushed against yours, and you tried to convert up your nerves by giving him a smile in return. Chenle rummaged through his back before angrily grunting, turning to face you.

“I left something at home that I wanted to show you, shit,” he murmured, his hand coming up to swipe over his face. “I can go grab it real quick–“

“Let’s just go to your room, it’s literally right across. We can climb,” you suggested, wanting to escape the suffocating warmth of your own bedroom. Plus, you were always more comfortable sitting on his mattress anyway. “It’ll be fun, like when we were younger.”

You two both grinned at each other then, Chenle nodding his head in compliance as you both stood, preparing yourselves for the leap out of your bedroom window.

You didn’t bother with a jacket; you were only going to be out in the cold for about five minutes tops, anyway. You allowed him to go first, his body jumping out and landing on the roof of your shed with ease. You quickly followed suit, landing a little rough but still in one piece, nonetheless.

He generously offered to prop you up first so you could skillfully open his window from the outside, which you gladly accepted with a smirk on your lips.

“You’re the best at it.” he replied, slightly whining at your smug reaction. “Always have been. For some reason I can never get it open!!”

You ignored him after that, focusing on keeping your balance on his shoulders while you lifted the window open, pulling yourself up on the sill and throwing yourself inside with a dull thud. You heard the scrapings of Chenle making his way up the side of his house, and he toppled in not long after you.

“I’m definitely never doing that again,” he panted, laying flat on his back on the floor for a few moments. You stared back at him from his bed, giggling at his heavily rising and falling chest. “Maybe not never...but not again anytime soon, that’s for sure.”

He managed to pull himself up from the carpet, dusting off his pants and shrugging off his coat before joining you on the bed. He pulled a piece of paper from his nightstand, and your heart began to pound with untamed anxiety.

“This,” he started, his eyes sparkling as he looked at the piece of paper before looking back at you. “is my acceptance letter to Harvard. I got in, Y/N!!!”

Chenle was so excited, and you couldn’t help but swoon at the absolute elation in his eyes as he went on about what he was accepted for and even what the letter said.

You, of course, didn’t tell him that you already knew, courtesy of Donghyuck. If you would have known that Chenle applied to Harvard, you would have had no doubts from the very beginning that he would get in.

Maybe he didn’t tell anyone just in case he wasn’t accepted, and if no one knew then there would be no one to disappoint.

You knew that no matter what, you could never ever be disappointed in Chenle. He was too smart and too good to ever be thought of in that way.

All you could do was smile and smile some more as he went on, barely breathing before he finally took a short pause. His eyes fell down to look at his denim covered legs, and he bit his lip as you watched him in the sudden quiet of his room.

It didn’t last very long, and he took a deep breath before breaking the short silence.

“They want me to fly out there as soon as possible,” he finally spoke, looking up at you from where his gaze was previously on his lap. “I talked to our school, and they’re willing to let me graduate early. I have all my credits, which is really cool.”

Chenle seemed excited, but he spoke softly, as if he knew how hard this news was for you to hear. You surprised yourself at how composed you were acting, despite the jabbing pain you felt in your heart with every word that passed through his lips.

“That’s great,” you commented, a tight smile lining your face, your voice so close to breaking. “When do you leave?”

A question you didn’t really want the answer to. You didn’t want him to leave at all, and gaining the knowledge of a deadline wouldn’t ease your aching heart any.

He shuffled on the bed, pulling his legs up to sit fully on the mattress facing you. He clasped his hands together and sighed, his bleached blonde hair falling into his eyes.

“The end of December, right before new years,” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes trying to gauge your reaction, even though you weren’t really giving him anything to work with.

That was really soon…

“Wait, but that’s before our semester ends—“

“I know.” he cut you off, smiling brightly. “Like I said, the school is alright with this all happening. They’re really happy for me.”

You sighed, nodding in understanding. It was silent for a moment once more between the two of you; only the sounds of distant cars driving down the otherwise quiet street could be heard for a few moments.

“I just want you to know that I’m really happy for you too, Chenle.” you softly spoke, your hand reaching out to boldly cover his own sitting on the bed in front of you. He stared down at your now touching fingers, but didn’t move to pull away from your warmth.

“Thank you,” he smiled, surprising you by taking your hand in his own and squeezing it, taking your contact with each other a step further. “It means a lot coming from you.”

“Does my approval matter to you?” you questioned, not able to keep it from slipping past your lips. His eyebrows quirked up and he tilted his head a little, looking away briefly before making eye contact once again.

“Yeah, I guess it does.” he replied. “I never really thought about it before, but now that you brought it up...it really does, so thank you.”

You stared at each other then, your lips parted and dry, your brain not sure what to say to him in response. Your heart was hammering in your chest and your ears were consumed with the rhythmic beating and blood rushing happening within your own body.

His brown eyes and dyed blonde hair captivated you and your tongue felt like sandpaper inside your mouth. he looked like he was fighting with himself in a way; restricting his body from moving closer to your own as you sat there in the silence of his room. Your body seemed to mechanically move on its own as it scooted closer to him, your fingers tightening around his as you situated yourself against his body, your face now just next to his. His eyes flicked down to your lips before moving back to your wide eyes, and you felt your stomach jump in anticipation.

Before either of you could do anything, a loud bang came from outside of his bedroom door, followed by a yell from his mother.

You sprung away from each other and you immediately shot up from his bed, already sprinting to his open window from which you came in from. Chenle stood as well, looking between you and the locked door that held his mother back.

“I’ll see you at school.” you hurriedly whispered, taking one more glance at his red cheeks before leaping out the window and down onto the grass below.

You climbed your way up to your own open bedroom window, using the shed and throwing yourself inside quickly before shutting it and closing the curtains. Once you were sure everything was locked and the lights were all off, you slammed yourself down onto your mattress, shoved your face into your pillows, and screamed.

——

“Can we go for a walk around the neighborhood? I want to see all the Christmas lights before people start taking them down.” Chenle spoke through the speaker on your phone, his face not in view on the screen as you FaceTimed each other. You heard shuffling on his end as you focused your attention on your laptop screen, mindlessly shopping online for random things to keep your mind off of the fact that Chenle was leaving in just three days.

The few weeks you had with him passed by like a blur, and you both tried to spend as much time together as possible. Between having to spend time with your family and other friends, it wasn’t as much as you would have liked it to have been.

“Yeah, sure.” you mumbled, closing the laptop on your bed with a soft clack. “Meet you outside in fifteen?”

“Make it ten.” he replied with a smile in his voice, before hanging up.

You sighed heavily before putting your coat on, bundling yourself up for the bite of the cold outside. It was bitterly freezing, and you knew without your whole winter ensemble that you wouldn’t be able to feel your fingers within two seconds flat of being out there.

Fumbling with the buttons and zipper on your coat, you managed to make it outside in seven minutes even, meeting him on the sidewalk just down your driveway.

“Wow, not late for once.” he commented, nudging your shoulder as the two of your began to walk in sync down your brightly lit street.

“Knock it off, I can be on time when I try hard enough.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him, a hint of a smile gracing your lips as you began to take in the beautiful lights around you.

Christmas truly was a beautiful time of year; not just for the holiday itself, because not everyone celebrated it obviously, but for the decorations and the sense of home and warmth.

Chenle and yourself both kept relatively quiet as you walked on, only making noise when you wanted to get each other’s attention to point out certain decorations on some houses. It was rather peaceful, and your heart was swelling with warmth in adoration as you looked to admire his face, which was illuminated by the colorful Christmas lights surrounding you.

Your stomach jolted slightly. This may be the last time you see him for a while. You didn’t mean for the intrusive thought of his absence to wiggle its way into your mind, but it was too late to fight it off.

‘I should just confess’, you thought, now nervously picking at your nails, and chewing your lip to bits. ‘There may not be another chance like this, not for a while.’

It was selfish...but it was now or never.

Too shy to actually confess your feelings first—and thinking back to certain moments that you’ve shared with Chenle to come to this conclusion—you decided to take a different approach.

Get him to confess first.

“I need to ask you something,” you blurted out, your brain scolding your mouth silently for being so goddamn reckless in a moment of weakness.

Maybe this was a bad idea...

Chenle quirked his eyebrow up at you before stopping, turning to face you entirely.

“What’s up?” he replied, his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets in a desperate attempt to keep them warm. His nose was red from the chill in the air and his lips were the same shade from him biting them, the sheen of his chapstick almost completely gone now. His eyes were glassy from the wind blowing and even though his cheeks were blotched in crimson, you thought this was the most beautiful he had ever looked.

You couldn’t do this. Fuck, you really couldn’t do this. Why did you have to open your big, stupid mouth—

“Hey Y/N? Are you in there?” he suddenly broke you from your own thoughts, causing you to jump a little in your boots. “What did you wanna ask me?”

“Uh,” Quick, think of something dumb! “You know, why is perfume so damn expensive?”

You wanted to throw yourself into a frozen lake at this point, as you watched his brow furrow in confusion.

“Uhm, I don’t know,” he bit his lip for about the hundredth time since you started your walk. “Ingredients maybe? Higher end perfumes probably have stuff in them that are more hard to come by, so that’s probably wh—“

“Do you like me?” you interrupted him loudly, squeezing your eyes shut as you practically belted out your original question.

He seemingly froze in front of you, and definitely not from the cold air whipping around your bodies as the wind harshly blew.

“Do I...like you.” he repeated back, formed as a statement more than a question. “Like...as in romantically?”

You didn’t even have to nod for him to know what you meant; the look in your eyes told him enough. The pleading, glassy look as hope swirled beneath your irises, just absolutely begging him to say that yes, he did like you in the way that you liked him.

“Yes,” you confirmed audibly anyway, heat flickering throughout your entire face. “You know, b-because I think before we almost kissed in your room that one time not too long ago, and we’ve been more touchy lately—“ you would have continued on your panicked rambling if he hadn’t cut you off, beginning to speak solemnly.

“Y/N...I..” he started, shaking his head as he tried to get his thoughts straight. “I do. I really do,” your heart jumped at his confession, and you allowed it to spread in your body like wildfire. It didn’t get very far, because he continued to speak. “but I...I can’t.”

You visibly deflated; your heart shattered like glass and everything colorful around you seemed to fade into a greyscale, the holiday lights surrounding the two of you no longer sparking any kind of joy. “This scholarship...my future...it’s important to me. I can’t let anything stop me, I’m so sorry…”

“Chenle...” you whimpered, stepping closer to him boldly, unsure of how to properly express your feelings to him at this point. You dared to breach his personal space, and he watched your every move with those same, glossy brown eyes that you adored every day for so many years.

You tilted your head, your lips ghosting over his own as he let out shaky breaths, yours matching his as you stood together in the cold.

His lips were right there. unmoving, as he didn’t pull away from you. If your leaned forward just a little more...almost….almostalmostalmost—so close—

“Y/N, stop.” he suddenly muttered, pulling you out of your trance. His head drew back as he stepped away, still in your reach but far enough to where your lips weren’t brushing against each other’s anymore.

You gritted your teeth at the rejected feeling that bubbles up inside you, the tears welling your eyes before spilling hotly down your frozen cheeks.

“I love you, Chenle.” you cried, gripping the rough material of his jean jacket. The darkness of the night could have hidden your tears if it weren’t for the moonlight blaring down on the two of you like a spotlight. “Please, I love you.”

He looked like he was trying to hold himself together, his lips set in a straight line as he looked away from you, his hands hovering over your wrists. Chenle gripped them suddenly, not hard, but with enough force to get you to pay attention.

“I love you too, Y/N.” he finally admitted, his voice quiet as he tried to restrain his emotions. “But I can’t pass this up. I just can’t.”

You should have forced yourself to understand. This was his life, for fucks sake. You shouldn’t have let yourself feel selfish, thinking that he would drop everything to stay here. With you.

“We can’t be together. I’m sorry.” he finished with that, slowly dropping your wrists from his hold. “If I…” he swallowed thickly. “If I let you kiss me, I know I wouldn’t be able to leave. I know it.”

He took in your figure at last, watching as your tears fell freely from your eyes in hot rivers down your already stained cheeks.

“Look, maybe someday this would work...but just, not now.” he sounded exasperated, running a hand through his hair. “Your life is here, and my life will be starting there. I’ll be busy constantly and it just...won’t be fair. It really won’t, you have to understand, Y/N.”

He watched as your hands shook when you lifted them to wipe your face, solemnly nodding in acknowledgement to his words.

“Okay.” you croaked, not meeting his eyes as you turned to walk away, leaving him in the middle of the park you used to play at when you were kids.

You weren’t going to put up a fight. You weren’t going to plead with him anymore. You were going to try your absolute hardest to stop yourself from being selfish in that way.

You were just going to have to live with that fact that you couldn’t have him right now. That you almost could have had him.

Almost.

——

Chenle faded out of your life like he wasn’t even present in the first place. You barely heard from him after he left; there would be miscellaneous texts here and there but overall, he was right in the end. He was really always busy.

His school workload was heavy, and you were aware of that, but a selfish part of you always seemed to get angry at him for not responding to you.

The worst part was not knowing whether he wanted to reach out to you at all.

He didn’t come home during summer break, which broke your heart a little bit. Donghyuck tried his best to be there for you as you went through the motions; you were constantly miserable at the reality that you most likely would never call Chenle your own.

Chenle didn’t keep in contact much with Hyuck or Jisung either, seemingly leaving you all in the dust as he went about his new life away from you. His parents talked to him all the time obviously, and your own mother would dawdle on about something that Chenle achieved at school to you, but you’ve come to pretty much ignore everything that had to do with him.

You went about getting your own education, passing your classes by the skin of your teeth during the first semester and then producing the same results during the semester after that.

You really couldn’t blame yourself for feeling so utterly heartbroken; you were in love with that boy for most of your life, and for him to suddenly rip himself away from you like that was wholeheartedly agonizing.

Chenle rarely ever came home; he did briefly for Christmas, but then hurriedly left immediately after, not even staying for the full duration of his break.

You actually ran into him by accident one day while he was still home, but you didn’t stay in his presence very long before wanting to go to the safety of your bedroom and cry.

“Did you even miss me?” you whimpered out, exhausted after your small talk had turned into a bit of an argument. He sighed heavily, frustrated no doubt. you could hear it in his voice as he spoke to you.

“What do you want me say, Y/N?” he countered, scoffing at you as you held back the pain you felt burning behind your eyes, desperate to cry. “I haven’t even had the time to miss anyone, let alone you.”

You stood in silence for a moment, baffled at his dismissive attitude of it all. It’s like he didn’t even remember that he told you he liked you too all those months ago.

“You...” your voice cracked a little, and you looked away from him. “Did you even try, Chenle? Did you even try to find the time to talk to me?”

He didn’t say anything back, only staring at you before tearing his eyes away, his jaw locked. You felt as if you already knew the answer.

You turned to leave, but felt his hand immediately circle around your arm, roughly pulling you back to face him. Taking one look at his face, you knew he was angry.

“Do you know how much it hurt, Y/N?” he barked out, making you flinch back slightly. “Do you know how much it hurt to leave you? I–“ he cut himself off as his voice cracked, turning his head away and swallowing heavily before continuing. “I wanted to, so bad Y/N. You have no idea.”

Your lips parted in shock, and you had a million things you wanted to say, but you managed to keep it all inside as he went on.

“But I had to control myself. I already came to terms with the fact that this,” he gestured between the two of you, “wasn't going to ever work out. I figured that out a long time ago... I had to distance myself from you, I’m sorry.”

You really didn’t want to accept that apology. You really really didn’t. Your anger was swirling inside you, a typhoon of emotions building and building as you stared back into his now cold brown eyes. To you, they used to be so full of warmth and friendliness, and now they looked distant and unentertained, like he didn’t want to be here in the first place.

That hurt like a bitch.

You scoffed at him, making his eyebrows raise in confusion before they furrowed, his eyes narrowed at you.

Yeah, you were probably being a bitch for not accepting his apology, and all of this was turning out to be super petty, but you felt like he deserved it just a little bit.

Deep down you knew he had a point; his reasoning was valid and it all made sense, but when did having feelings for someone like you had for him ever lead to rational decision making?

“You know, Chenle,” you started, shoving your hands in your pockets roughly to shield them from the cold. “I really thought that we could still be friends after all the bullshit, I really did.” He watched you carefully as you practically spat forth those words, venom dripping in your tone. “But then you went and messed it all up.”

You probably shouldn’t have added that last part; playing the blame game never worked in anyone’s favor in the end, but your emotions once again got the best of you.

Smoke practically blew out his ears as his mouth parted in shock. Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of sarcastic laughter falling out of his mouth, knowing full well that you fucked up this time.

“I messed it up? Me??” He was pointing to his own chest for emphasis, and you had the audacity to give him a quick nod. “Ahah, wow Y/N, that’s really rich coming from you.”

You didn’t even have a second to get a word in before he crowded your space, so close that your chests were touching. You drew in a sharp breath, not sure what in the hell he was doing right now.

“You were the one that was practically begging me to kiss you that night, remember? You were trying so hard,” he spat, so close to your face now that you couldn’t even feel the cold nipping at your cheeks anymore (whether it be from the embarrassment lacing through your veins or the extensive heat from his body, you weren’t sure).

You couldn’t think of anything to say in response; all you knew was that he was dishing out pretty low blows, and each word was like a knife being plunged into your chest.

“Like, how desperate are you?” he added in, now moving his hands to grip your waist, making you squeak in surprise. “You want a kiss so bad? Get fucking ready.”

You weren’t sure what he meant and your brain was having such a hard time comprehending anything going on in that moment, the pressure of his hands gripping your waist making all thoughts fly out of your head besides one.

Him.

“Wait, Chenle–“ you placed a hand on his chest to try to push him away, unsure of how you felt about this situation.

“What, you don’t want it now?” his voice was borderline malicious as he spoke to you now, making you feel incredibly small and vulnerable under his gaze.

“No I–“

“You come to me and give me all that bullshit, and now when I’m trying to give you something that you wanted,” his grip grew tighter. “you don’t want it anymore? Make up your damn mind, Y/N.”

You did want it. There was still a huge part of you that screamed at you to just let it happen, but you knew it would be wrong. So fucking wrong. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted to; he was doing this because he wanted all this to end right here.

You were scared. He was scaring you with the way he was acting right now.

“Chenle, please—“

“Just shut up.”

Chenle didn’t allow you to get another word in before he crashed his lips against yours, roughly pressing his against your own so abruptly that you felt your teeth pierce the inside of yours. You tasted blood, but it wasn’t the first thing on your mind at the moment; Chenle moved his mouth against yours aggressively and without any emotion besides anger behind it, and you absolutely hated it.

Sure, it felt nice to finally get what you wanted, but in a way, you definitely were not. This isn’t what you wanted at all. You wanted to love him and you wanted him to love you...and you wanted it to feel nice.

His hands slid down to your hips and your stomach jumped in surprise as you tried desperately to match his pace to at least kiss him back a little bit. It didn’t last long, and with a strong push on your hips he effectively pulled away, your body stumbling back from the force of his shove.

His lips were red and puffy and his eyes were dark as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, panting slightly. You probably looked somewhat the same, but didn’t even move from where you stood as he stared at you. You felt your eyes become glassy from staring into space too long, and you felt your hands shake, but most definitely not from the cold.

“There’s your fucking kiss.” He finally said, taking two steps back. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

You didn’t even watch him walk back into his house. You ran as fast as you could back into your own home and immediately slammed the front door shut behind you, darting up the stairs without a single word.

You barged into your bedroom and without even removing your winter garments, you threw yourself down onto your mattress for what seemed like the millionth time in the last year, and began to sob.

——

Chenle’s parents said that he had commitments at the school, some sort of research or whatever, and that’s why he couldn’t stay home long. At the time, all you really thought was ‘good riddance’, but you knew that your heart would be back to obsessing over him in no time, even after what had happened between the two of you on the day you try so hard not to remember.

Well, at least he was flourishing at school.

When Donghyuck found out what had happened between you and Chenle during the time he was home from university, he was ready to kill someone. That someone being Chenle.

“He did what to you?!” Donghyuck screamed over the phone, causing you to pull it from your ear from the sheer volume of his screeching. “I’ll kill him, Y/N. I swear I’ll fucking kill that kid.”

“No need, Hyuckie. It’s not that big of a deal.” you replied somberly, sighing as you relaxed on your mattress against your pillows.

“Not a big deal??? Angel, he basically forced that shit on you,” Hyuck was speaking softly to you now, a stark contrast to his yelling from a few moments prior. “You should be furious at him. You need to tell someone—“

“I’m not mad,” you replied quietly, chewing on your bottom lip. “A part of me wanted that to happen, Hyuck. It just…” your voice trailed off, your brain trying to think of the right words to say. “Wasn’t what I was expecting, is all.”

The line was quiet and you weren’t sure what to say next, and Donghyuck must have felt the same. It was a really fucked up situation, you had to admit.

“I think I…” your voice sounded broken, but you continued. “I think I still love him.” The words came out as a whisper and they surprised even yourself, not expecting to admit such a thing after all that has happened.

“Oh, angel…” was all Donghyuck replied with before you quickly made up some lame excuse to hang up the call with him. You hurriedly pressed the ‘end call’ button and threw yourself back on the bed, spacing out once again just like you always do.

You managed to bear with not seeing or talking to Chenle after the incident (a huge part of you didn’t want to, after hearing what he had to say and also what he did during Christmas break), but when you stumbled across a post of his one night a couple months after while scrolling through Instagram, it had your heart shattering completely.

“What the fuck,” you whimpered, already struggling to hold back tears as your watery eyes stared daggers at the photo displayed on your screen. “What. The. Fuck?” you said it louder this time, with more malice, and you threw your phone across your bed to get it away from you.

Chenle had posted a photo of himself and another girl, kissing each other while snow fell in some random park you didn’t give a fuck about. He found someone else. He fell for someone else.

The hypocrisy.....he didn’t want to be with you because he wanted to focus on school, but then he goes and starts up a relationship with someone else anyway?

Maybe he did it to spite you.

At first, you felt pathetic for crying about it. You tried to muffle your cries in your pillow, holding back the ugly sobs that you so desperately wanted to let out. You silently cried, your heart aching and your lungs gasping for air as you fought the pain in the dark pit inside your chest.

You began to grow angry after a while, your thoughts spinning wildly out of control as your chest heaved, your nails digging into your sheets to keep yourself from clawing at your own burning throat.

You screamed.

You screamed and screamed and cried until there was nothing left inside you. You needed to let out the festering hatred you had grown for him since he left over a year ago. It was ugly and it was cacophonous, but you didn’t care anymore.

Your parents were luckily out, and you didn’t give a fuck about your neighbors. You poured out every raw emotion you felt until you sensed yourself beginning to calm; your chest no longer rose and fell like you had been running a marathon, your heartbeat quieted to a low thrum in your ears instead of a pounding drum, and your muscles relaxed, allowing you to lie down flat against your mattress.

Your pillow was soaked through with tears and your head was thumping, like your brain was smashing a baseball bat to the inside of your skull. You breathed in, five long seconds, and breathed out, seven seconds more, before bathing in the quiet of your room.

Your phoned buzzed from the end of your bed, and you hesitantly picked your head up, sliding to sit and reach for it tentatively.

It was a text message.

From: donghyuckie :P

hey, saw chenle’s post. ice cream in 20? I’ll pick you up

You smiled, surprising yourself entirely, as if you weren’t just screaming your head off just five minutes ago. You were incredibly happy to have such a good friend in your life, immediately knowing what you needed when you needed it. You were quick to reply.

To: donghyuckie :P

sounds good, I’ll see you then :)

You smiled again, and didn’t stop the whole night, Donghyuck's presence always comforting and joyful.

You would be okay, you knew you would. All you had to do was just live your own life, forget about Chenle, and be happy...always with a smile.

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #neothestars #nctcreations #nct: almost #chenle #zhong chenle #nct #nct dream #chenle angst #chenle scenarios #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #idk how to tag shjsjs #chenle fanfic #??? #chenle x reader

[clobbersaurusrex]

The first character I first fell in love with: Kabane, what a good.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Akira. I was kinda worried about his characterization not existing and just being like an offensive ‘trap’ joke, but he’s had some really great moments and I love him.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Robara. Everyone keeps saying Robara is ‘gender’ and honestly there are so many characters you could put in that spot rather than a serial killer rapist.

The character I love that everyone else hates: I don’t know since the only other person who talks about Kemono Jihen with me is Vixen and the fandom is non-existent practically. I’d hazard a guess and say Umetaro, I love pathetic characters like him.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I thought Mihai was really funny, but I’m kinda just over him for whatever reason. I don’t hate him, I just feel overall ‘meh’.

The character I would totally smooch: Hinata, get you a girl who uses ‘ore’ and can cut so precisely that CELLS AREN’T DAMAGED.

The character I’d want to be like: Nobimaru since I have no poker face at all and am too emotional to play the long game in terms of getting back at people I hate, also his twink crime spree form is fashion goals. I wouldn’t even have to change forms as a bake-kitsune since I already look like a 12 year old boy despite being in my 30s (I’m 5′ 2′’ and have the weird ‘doesn’t age ever’ Asian genes).

The character I’d slap: IDK, if I had to deal with Kaede I’d probably slap him. I love his design and himbo antics, but he’s objectively terrible LMAO.

A pairing that I love: Umetaro’s sad ass one-sided crush on Nobimaru, that man has it BAAAD.

A pairing that I despise: Hinata/Robara, like everything about that situation is fucked, like she’s basically a hostage to his stupid games.

#dash games #i love kemono jihen so much why isn't it more popular #kemoji

[seulgiology]

that’s my type | jeon jungkook

pairings: fwb!jungkook x fwb!female oc

words: 3k

genre: SMUT with an “i love you” at the end , uwu

warnings: cursing, praise, dirty talk, thigh fucking, pet names, choking, a widdle exhibition, a lil pussy spank, ass slapping, piercings, tattoos (are those warnings?? idk), oc loves to mess with kookie lol save him

a/n: GIF IS NOT MINE! sad yer. admin 1 is sadly alive. HERE’S A REQUESTED JUNGKOOK SMUT, I TRIED MY BEST PLZ ACCEPT MY OFFERING TO YOU @itboykook . Also, i just randomly put two names together, so if by any chance that it relates to an actual idol IM SORRY. anygays, being a student is hard and online school is a lot :))), sorry for my inactivity.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

Mid July - 12:03 p.m.

Jungkook fit right in with the rest of you, his quiet, odd, yet lovable personality was enticing and it didn’t fall short from the other 6 guys. 

He was the newest and the youngest out of your friend group, only a junior in college. His adorable teeth whenever he smiled that contrasted with his toned body was so attractive and he knew it too. He nearly rivaled Jimin when it came to visual duality.

You all were on one of the campus’ fields, enjoying a rare afternoon of no classes on your spread blanket. You and Hoseok were trying to play a makeshift game of basketball in the field with a random volley ball lying around and your jacket in a circle as the “hoop.” 

You were both dying of laughter from your failed attempts at playing defense and rolling in the grass like a couple of kids on a sugar rush.

Jungkook was next to Taehyung listening to brief him on everything about you, from your flat feet to your unconventional love for Tom Holland. He was sitting comfortably on the blanket, hands resting behind his back as he watched you and... What was his name? Hobi?  He’ll remember later. 

He couldn’t see you too clearly but he knew you were having fun after hearing your bubbly laughter from the distance. You didn’t seem to be coming over towards the others anytime soon so he thought he’d rest his head on Jimin’s plush lap and rest his eyes for a bit, letting the spring sun beat down on his face.

“Don’t you come over here with all that grass on you, Mae, you don’t know whose child was in there pissing.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open, and he hissed out at the suns rays blinding him. He lazily shifted towards the direction of the noise and heard Seokjin— Jin grumble to you two. 

You were in the middle of rubbing the loose grass off your jeans when you could feel someone’s stare on you.

Jungkook shamelessly drank in your figure, loving the way your ripped jeans hugged your thick thighs. He could only dream of burying his face in between them and leaving hickies. You were slightly bent over in front of him trying to wipe the dirt off of you, but he had a great view of your full and round ass trapped inside the denim.

Is this what it feels like to look at an angel? Jungkook didn't know what to believe anymore after being graced with your existence. Did he want to worship your body, make you laugh, hold your hand? Or something more? The blood rushed to his center the longer he kept his gaze on you and letting his thoughts take a sexual turn.

You didn’t catch him practically eye-fucking you, but when you looked up and around, you did see him blushing and hastily putting his bag on his lap.

He must be a shy guy. Yet his whole presence makes you want to shut up and be a good girl for him. He was only laying down with his arm propped up for support, and his short black hair was flowing in the wind, making him look goofy with such a concentrating look on his face.

He pretended to be searching in his bag for something as his heart raced when he saw your shadow coming towards him. He tasted the saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of you towering over him, your nose and ear piercings glinting in the sunlight. 

“I’m Maerin, the only reasonable one here. You are?” You carefully reached your hand out for him to shake with a charming grin on your face, amazed that your friend group just continues to add more attractive men to your circle.

“Jungkook, the other reasonable one here.” You laughed at his statement and his adorable nose scrunched when he smiled with you. You took the vacant seat next to him, and his sight was glued to your physique on your descent, entranced by the minimalistic ink on your arm.

Could you get anymore perfect? Perfect face. Perfect ass. Perfect thighs. Perfect body. Perfect personality most likely. HIs mind raced with thoughts of only you as soon as he took your much smaller hand in his in a firm shake.

He was going to have you one way or another. And that’s a promise he kept. Sort of.

--

Early December - 11:46 a.m.

Those god-awful finals had just ended for you guys and it was time for winter break. It was decided that you all would put in money to go to a ski resort for the break, needing the stress reliever and rest.

And get rid of stress was exactly what you did.

“Fuck, you really don’t know what you do to me,” His hand tightened around your neck in the most pleasurable way, and you were hazy from the dream-like steam the shower was bringing.

He had you pinned against him, his arms held you tightly in place as he thrusted in between your thighs, only sliding his cock against your slick womanhood. You hated not being able to feel him inside you, but he was in heaven when he had you like this. 

Jungkook’s reasonably unreasonable obsession with your ass and thighs played a great part in your friends with benefit arrangement. 

“This is all mine, sweetness,” He grunted in your ear, and all you could do was gasp in response. His wet and wavy locks draped over your shoulder as he sped up his pace, leaving you devoid of any type of release as your thighs tightened around his cock sliding in between them. 

“Jungkook-” You whined to him, upset that he was using you to get himself off. He payed you no mind however, his thrusts speeding up as the unrhythmic slide of his cock in between your folds meant he was going to cum soon. 

"You wanna cum pretty girl? Wanna feel me stuff you so full you won’t remember anything but me?” He moaned in your ear at the thought, torturing himself as much as he was torturing you.

You let out a pathetic but audible yes that you knew had his dimple popping from the grin that adorned his face. You yelped when he manhandled you against the wall and pushed your back down so your ass was to his front. You turned around to see him desperately pumping himself in his hand and his lips slightly parted. The sight had your arousal trailing down your legs along with the water and you licked you lips at his hard cock in his hand.

He pumped his load on your cheeks that were spread for him and he watched it get rinsed away as quickly as it came with the water.

Your body was still on edge when you felt Jungkook rise you up and back hugged you so tenderly, you were ready to fall asleep in his arms at the safety they welcomed. He chuckled in your ear at your languid body and held you tighter. “If you fall asleep you won’t get your reward for being good for me,” his voice was so sweet and you. Why isn’t he your boyfriend again?

“Mmm, really?” You questioned him in a sultry tone, wanting to get him riled up again. You grinded your ass on his hardening manhood and you loved the way he grabbed a handful of it and rolled his hips on you.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You both froze in panic upon hearing Namjoon over the white noise. Jungkook’s finger tips stopped their descent down your stomach and lightly dug in. Shit, fuck, fuck fuck, shit- 

“Yea hyung, I’m in the shower, what’s up?” His voice was unusually shaky to the older man, but he brushed his overanalyzing to the side. “Have you seen Maerin? She said she was looking for you but she disappeared.”

Your heart pounded to the speed the water was hitting you. Namjoon wasn’t stupid, he’d probably figure you guys out, if he didnt already.

Jungkook frowned at you in confusion and you shrugged back at him, your face heating up at the excuse you told the others men to just come see your fuck buddy. 

“She told me to meet the rest of you in the lobby but I wanted to take a shower before leaving. Um... I think she went to get more food before they closed the breakfast buffet.” He lied smoothly, and you sighed in relief and let your grip on hi arm drop.

THUNK!

Namjoon jumped after hearing the load thump and an extremely familiar feminine squeak from the bathroom.

Wait.

Was that Maer—

“Sorry hyung, the soap fell on my foot when I tried reaching for it! I’ll be out soon, don’t wait for me.” He replied in a haste after turning the shower off and giving you a hard look. After hearing the room door close, your body chilled beyond return and your nipples hardened in anticipation.

“You think this is a game, huh?” He tilted your chin up with his cold finger tips and glared at your smirking face.

This was most definitely a game you wanted to play.

—

Late December - 1:30 p.m.

“Who brought the liquor, im trying to get wasted tonight.”

“Jimin, we’re watching Stranger Things.”

“Ok— so where’s the liquor...?”

You smile to yourself at hearing your friends’ conversation, they never fail to amuse you. You were in the kitchen, trying to get popcorn ready for all 8 of you to watch the supernatural show in Jungkook’s apartment.

You leaned on the counter in front of the microwave and listened to its humming as the bag of popcorn started to slowly inflate.

“The guys are here and you have your ass all out like this?” A silent groan left your lips and arousal pooled in between your legs when Jungkook grinded his hips into your ass and grabbed a handful of it.

Your friend group had no idea that you were fucking each other for about 2 months now. It felt wrong to be sexually attracted to each other, especially because you were friends. So you both didn’t want a bad reaction if you told the others.

“Jungkook, someone’s going to walk in—” But you ignored your own words and instead rubbed against him more. You were breathing softly but heavily when you let him cup your cunt through your leggings. He loved it when you wore leggings, it always left little to his imagination when he wanted to guffaw at your legs.

The microwave beeped loudly and it startled the young man behind you into jumping back in fright. Jungkook swallowed hard at hearing your snickering and in a haste, left the kitchen and into the noisy living room instead. He was hard under his sweats, and hated how uncomfortable he was because did it.

They were all seated and prepared to binge watch the latest season of the popular American show when you crept out with two large bowls of kettle corn popcorn.

After they graciously thanked you, you took the obvious seat next to Jungkook on the loveseat. The others expected this, they knew you two were closer than ever. He threw the fuzzy blanket over you both as you cuddled close to the arm chair and put your feet on the other side of his thighs.

Your knees were bent up because you couldn’t fully extend your legs, and it was the perfect position for him to touch you in. He turned to gaze at you under his dark and curly fringe and his earring dangle from the movement.

He discreetly leaned in and whispered, “I dare you to try something while they’re here. Watch what’s going to happen.” The eerie theme song of the show began and you knew for a fact you weren’t going to pay attention. 

You’ve seen the legendary show already. So instead you’d mess with the man directly in front of you.

So for eight long hours you you teased him under the blankets; Rubbing his length with your feet, edging him and never letting succumb to the unusual pleasure. It was exciting to see him sweat while all of your close friends were so close to you yet too engrossed in the T.V. set to notice.

Just as your group was piling out and saying their goodbyes, you suggested that you stay to help the maknae clean. it was late and everybody would be busy the next day but you. 

And Jungkook wasn’t going to let you go that easy.

--

9:54 p.m. [same night]

Your damp forehead was pressed into soft cushion and your hands clutching the closest pillow on the couch as you were hopelessly whimpering for more. 

Jungkook wasted no time in having you ass up, head down with his wet tongue abusing your cunt and giving you a taste of your own medicine.

“You really must think this shit is funny, baby” He said, basking in the taste of your arousal. You whined when he lightly slapped your clit, your hips involuntarily pushing back for more and he arrogantly chuckled at your neediness.

“I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.” His voice was gruff when his hard and angry cock slapped against your swollen lips, the slickness of it making it an obscene noise.

“Only if you fuck me first.” You breathlessly said to him and wiggled your ass to draw him in even more. His hooded eyes caught the sight and he moistened his thin lips, loving they way your bottom moved.

You both sighed in relief when he finally pushed in, the initial sting always catching you by surprise, no matter how many times he’s done it. 

“Shit, you always take me so well Mae,” He pumps faster, his hips snapping into yours and you cry out from the intensity of it. Your clit throbbed from your fingers circling around it, and your moans were purely sinful. Jungkook loved seeing you like this.

Back arched and your pussy clenching around his length. The way your ass bounced against his hips whenever he thrusted into you. Fuck. His hand came down hard on your already stinging before grabbing them and drilling into you impossibly quicker than before. 

“Please don’t stop!” You cried out, living for the way his dick filled you so fucking full until you you were seeing white. “Look at you pretty girl. You’re such a brat and all I do is fuck you and give you what you want.” He grunted in your ear and kissed right below it, hearing the dangling sounds of your own earrings.

“Ohhh, Jungkook I’m so close,” He huffed before carefully flipped you over and fucked you with vigor, your toes curling and an amazing sensation rushing through you. “Come on sweetness, you’re almost there.” He placed your legs over his shoulder and gripped your delicious thighs so tight, this wouldn’t be the first time you’d see hand prints there tomorrow.

His forehead was pressed against yours as he watched his dick push in and out of your sopping cunt, your cries egging him on to spill inside of you without hesitation.

The feeling in your lower stomach was becoming uncomfortably persistent and with one final rare moan of your name his hips stuttered sloppily and he filled you with his seed to the brim. Your body spasmed around him and your mantra of his name didn’t even let up after you came. 

When you finally came down from your high, your eyes cleared to see the sweaty boy slumped against you, body spent from putting his all into this session.

He peppered kisses along your collarbones and softly massaged your chest as your eyes closed from his blessed hands working on your soft tissue.

He peeked up at you through those unruly locks of his and that boyish charm never failed you whenever he literally did anything. Don’t even get you started on his boxing practices, whew-

“So round two?” He quirked a playful eyebrow at you as his fingers lightly danced over your torso. You giggled when he reached around your waist and applied pressure, the soft skin felt like silk to him. 

“What do you expect an answer?” You giggled up at him, stars in your eyes. You sneakily reached and tickled under his arms, and he let out the most adorable laugh your ears could ever hear. You shushed your laughs with unsuccessful kisses that were even more laughs because of your failed attempts of keeping a straight face.

When he pulled away, his doe-eyes were stuck on your gorgeous face. The way he was looking at you wasn’t unfamiliar, you we’re just too stupid to play it off as the “post-fuck love stare.” But here you were now. Laughing in between his strong arms and pecking each others lips. 

We’ve been friends fucking like this for months and I’m just realizing this now?

“What if I told you that I loved you? How’d you answer to that..?” He trailed off towards the end, his spontaneous confidence wearing off by the millisecond from his impulsive words. 

You could combust with the overwhelming feeling of happiness and your chest felt lighter even with his body of muscle on you. You smiled so wide up at him, you could barely see his own face morph into the dimpled look you’ve grown to love since you first met him. But you still wanted to mess with him for 10 more seconds.

“I would say I love you with all my heart...” 

You think his just dropped to his stomach with the way his face turned ghastly pale and his eyebrows raised in worry. He was not expecting that after your reaction to him confessing his feeling towards you. Was this a joke? But you were smiling... mayb-

“But my ass is bigger.” Your laugh was contagious and he couldn’t even be mad at you cause he couldn’t agree more.

#thighs? thighs? #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #bts jungkook #bts #kookie #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #jungkook one shot #jungkook imagine #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts scenarios #bts imagines #kpop #bts masterlist #its bad i know #admin 2 dont read this #im ashamed of myself

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 15 episode 9

- this episode is called “The Trap” and I am very excited about it

- I expected Jack to be alive by now and I’m sad that he’s still dead

- I’m obviously sad that Sam and Eileen got kidnapped by Chuck but I’m happy that Eileen is here

- oh nooo no torture please

- YES EILEEN THAT WAS SMART

- “just stop being so stupid.” CAS ACTUALLY STANDING UP TO DEAN YEAH

- I know they should go to purgatory and Cas is right but I also wish they would save Sam first

- “I’d call it pathetic.” EILEEN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

- OH I DONT LIKE THAT

- “maybe we’ll run into Benny, he’s probably king of this place by now.” 🥺

- I agree with Cas splitting up is never a good idea

- “no Dean my sense of direction is excellent, that’s a different corpse.” ANNOYED BOYFRIEND

- DEAN LOOKING FOR BENNY IM GONNA CRY

- “where is he?” “Dead.” WAIT NO 😭

- I KNOW THATS NOT REAL AND CLAIRE ISNT DEAD BUT THAT HURT

- “I carry that guilt every day.” POOR CAS

- “I left but you didn’t stop me.” OH THERE IT IS FRICK OW

- “if Cas was still here he could have healed them.” “Yeah well he’s not.” OH SHIT

- ooo an angel trap. I mean obviously this is bad but

- oh yeah I forgot Eve existed

- OH NO WHERES CAS

- these futures are very interesting but like,, are they really worse than what actually happens in the finale?

- “ever since the mark made Cas go crazy, every since I had to bury him, in a ma’lak box, ever since then?!” HOLY FUCK THAT HURT ALSO I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS

- “and after Eileen so do you.” THIS IS SO PAINFUL WHAT THE HELL

- “the Dean who raised me” AAAAAA

- *chanting* prayer scene prayer scene prayer scene prayer scene

- HERE WE GO AND YES IM GONNA TYPE THE WHOLE THING OUT

- “Cas I hope you can hear me. That wherever you are it’s not too late. I should have stopped you. You’re my best friend but I just let you go. Cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong.”

- I AM OBSESSED WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF DEAN ACTUALLY KNEELING FOR THIS (to look up is to be vulnerable etc)

- “I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know that it- that it’s just always been there. And when things go bad it just- it comes out. And I can’t stop it. No matter how- how bad I want to I just can’t stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long- I’m sorry it took me until now to say it. Cas I’m so sorry. Man I hope you can hear me.”

JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS A LOT ALSO IM CRYING

- so you’re telling me in Chuck’s probably made up future Dean dies by fighting vampires right? gOoD tHiNg ThAt DiDnT hApPeN- OH WAIT

- OH YAY CAS

aAaAaaAaAAAaA

- “it got a little smushed.”

HIS FACE I- THIS MAN IS SO IN LOVE

- “Cas, I need to say something.” “You don’t need to say it. I heard your prayer.” Lots to unpack there

- wait what?? They’re vampires in this future?? Oh damn

- “I want better for you both.” I don’t know how to feel about the finale in relation to this but. Yeah idk

- “Dean you’ve already taken the mark you can’t take it again. I can, it’s the only way.” WAIT WHAT DID I MISS SOMETHING?? CAS IS TAKING THE MARK?

- so Chuck’s been keeping the monsters at bay?

- I mean honestly I wouldn’t break it either but I feel like Dean’s gonna be mad about this and I’m not looking forward to that

- “Sammy lost hope and now I’m free.” OH NO

- “they were memories. My memories. Other Sams and other Deans in different worlds.” OOOO THATS KINDA COOL

- “I know that was real.” AAAAAAAA OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM

- “I believed him, I still do.” “Well that’s good enough for me.” Is that character development I see? Good job Dean!

- “Chuck’s gone but-” “-he’ll be back.” DEAN FINISHING CAS’S SENTENCE I

- JACK!!! I MISS HIM

- OH YEAH AND BILLIE!!

- that was... ✨A Lot✨

#dean winchester #supernatural #dean and sam #sam winchester #spn #supernatural thoughts #sam and dean #spn thoughts #castiel #destiel #deancas #spn season 15 #supernatural season 15 #saileen