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lunedottir · 10 months

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤVAMPIRE .. !

where you made a real big mistake, but Miles made the worst one look fine.

inspired by Oliva Rodrigo lyrics.

pairing: e42!aged up!Miles x reader

genre: angst, no comfort.

warnings: infidelity, both of them are 19, cursing, Miles being toxic

a.n: hi guys! i haven't posted day 2 of my writing challenge so here it is! i'll post twice today to make up to it, and i'm already working on it! love y'all, enjoy! xoxo.

taglist form

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPLEASE CONSIDER REBBLOGING!

you hadn't heard from Miles in days. sick worried, you had talked to all of his friends, and all of them would just shrug you off, and you knew something was wrong. you knew that it wasn't exam season at college, so why was he avoiding you? leaving you on delivered every day, not answering your calls, nothing. it was like you never met each other. until you got a text from an unknown number: a picture of Miles kissing another girl. the one girl that would always say how cute you two were together, the one girl that Miles told you not to worry about. you just couldn't believe that, after all of that you've done for him, you ended up being the fool. you texted him that same day.

you: we gotta talk.

mi vida <3: im omw

you: bet.

(delivered at 3pm)

he showed up at your window in his prowler suit at 2AM while you were writing your daily diary entry.

"hey." he called, making you look up from your notebook. "you good?"

"yeah, i'm good."

he looked at you, and you could see that he wanted to tell you something. you knew him better than he did, and that was the worst part of it.

"spill it."

"i… i fucked up, ma."

he mumbled out, and immediately you knew what he was talking about. why he was so distant. why his mother was avoiding you, why even his uncle, who was never even nice to you, asked if you were okay this morning when you ran into him.

"fuck yeah, you did."

"i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-"

"no you're fucking not. don't bullshit me, Miles Gonzales Morales."

"can you listen to me first?"

"no! no, i can't! God, i can't believe how stupid i was."

"ma, you're overreacting."

"am i? am i overreacting when some random number text me a picture of my fucking boyfriend kissing the one girl i was insecure about?"

"it was a one night stand, ma, i made a mistake! i love you!"

"no, Miles, i made a mistake. i made a real big one, and you made it look so fine!" you raised your voice, tears flooding your eyes. "and you can't love anyone, because that would mean you have a fucking heart!"

"c'mon, y/n, you're better than this. bet it was those crazy friends of yours that filled your head with that bullshit."

"don't you open your mouth to talk about them! they warned me! they told me you were bad news and you called them crazy like you did just now! God, i hate the way i called them crazy too…"

you leaned back, covering your face so he wouldn't see you crying. he walked to you, taking your hands and analyzing your face carefully.

"are you done? can i kiss you now?"

you scoffed, pushing him away

"is she better than me?" you mumbled, wiping the tears away.

"what?"

"is she better than me, Miles?

"you can't ask me that-"

"yes or no?"

he was silent, but you felt the energy shift.

"no one is better than you."

"it's incredible how you lie without flinching."

"listen to me-"

"get out of my fucking house."

"woah, who do you think you're talking to?"

"a stranger." you looked into his eyes, and you knew he knew it was over. "i hope you're happy, Miles. i truly do. but we both know that you'll never have another me."

he started to walk away, ego as shattered as your heart.

"thank God for that."

you took the ring out of your finger, placing it on his hands.

"we'll see about that."

you watched as he walked away, giving you one last look before leaving through the window. as you set down on your bed taking the notebook to write that down, you felt your eyes tearing up, and soon teardrops were staining the black ink that covered the pages. you knew that, eventually, Miles would regret that, but it would be too late.

this is so bad, i'm so sorry (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠) i hope y'all like it and let me know if you want a part two !! love y'all, xoxo!!

taglist: @elusive-honeydew

edit: I'm working on a part 2 of this one!!!!please lemme know if y'all wanna be tagged!

#42 miles morales x you #miles morales x you #earth 42 miles x reader #atsv x reader #moon writes!#writing challenge #miles morales angst #i'm sorry this is terrible #miles morales #miles morales x reader #42 miles morales #42 miles morales x reader

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 4 months

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CONGRATS ON 300 FOLLOWERS LOVE!!!🥳

I got a little something for you to ponder…how about Gloss with a fem reader, SFW, and #22 "I think I need a hug."? Because I need more about this artistic sweetheart, I think 300 words will suffice me for a while.😅

My brain just went kapoot so I am relying on you to make this magical!!!☺️✨

Soup Assault

Gloss (OC) x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Gloss (OC) x Fem!Reader

Tags & Warnings: domestic fluff

Word Count: 300

Author's Note: STITCH, I AM SO SORRY. I got so carried away trying to complete the bingo fics that I let the last three event requests sit idle in my inbox. However, as promised in my New Years post, I have finally completed it!!! Thank you so much for your patience and putting up with me. I'm so happy you asked for Gloss, too 🥺 He's such a good boy. I hope you love it 💚

Your day at work has been exhausting, and all you want to do is go home and go to sleep. However, a customer spilled an entire bowl of hot soup on you during your shift, so you need to shower and do laundry before you can even touch your bed. Not to mention, another customer started screaming at you for something that wasn't your fault and it almost made you cry. You're a mess.

You unlock your apartment and sigh as you throw your bag on the entryway table. You really don't care at this point if it lands or falls off the table. There's nothing breakable in it, other than your comm, and even that you don't care about right now. You just want peace and quiet, and no conversations with anyone, because you've had enough people chewing your ear off today.

After changing, you walk into the living room and see Gloss lying on his stomach on the floor, feet kicking in the air as he sketches in his notebook. He doesn't look up when you enter the room, but seems rather enthralled in whatever he is drawing. You plop yourself down next to him, lean your back against his side and close your eyes as you listen to his soft scribbling.

After a long quiet moment, you open your eyes and sigh. "I think I need a hug."

Gloss stops sketching and lays his pencil down onto the notebook. He rolls onto his side and clamps himself onto your body like a clamshell. "Better?" he asks.

You giggle. "Much better."

"Rough day at work?" he asks.

"You wouldn't even believe me," you say.

"Try me," he says. "I'll believe you."

"I fought a bowl of soup today," you say.

"Did you win?" he asks.

You laugh. "Nope."

Event Masterlist

Masterlist

A03

Tag List: @nahoney22 @commander-sunshine @sunshinesdaydream @padawancat97 @verndusk @sun-roach @coraex @lickylickylicky @homemade-clones @523rdrebel @clonemedickix @starrylothcat @moonwrecked @ladyzirkonia @stunkbiggu @cdblake1565 @ladytano420 @moonlightwarriorqueen @anxiouspineapple99 @clonethirstingisreal @dreamie411 @trixie2023 @cw80831 @ca77m3anna @rinwritesfics @t3mpest98 @novas-daydreaming @twincesskorisoka @thestarwarslesbian

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silphwave · 2 years

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Hi! That other anon that asked you if you've taken classes about pixel art made me wonder what other experience you have with art. Are you self taught? What kinds of art have you practiced before pixel art? I'm curious because your style of pixel art and use of color is so unique and striking.

Hey, I appreciate the interest. I studied Fine Art at university, although I learned zero knowledge about any traditional techniques such as colour theory, composition etc. The art school was sadly obsessed with conceptual art. They didn't care if you could draw, paint, sculpt or craft with skill and beauty; only the message mattered. In hindsight I should have expected this, I didn't really have a message, just a mood.

I still remember one of the senior lecturers looking at the work hanging up in my art studio and he sighed "Hmmmm, it's just a bit too nice isn't it?". Then he sat me down and began asking "What do you hate? You should make some art about that..." He then proceeded to try and get me to make social and political art, which has never been in my nature. Art is a relaxing hobby for me, a form of escapism, a happy place away from the world. So I continued what I was doing regardless, making surrealist collages from vintage magazines and old books and scraped a bare minimum pass.

I went under the online alias of "Dharma_Collage" from about 2014-18. Maybe there's still some remnants of work online (I'll see if I can find any to add to this post). It slowly transitioned into the work I'm doing now as I used the old collaging techniques to make my first Pokémon art. I don't think I learned anything practical from art school that's helped with the art I make now, it's just been purely led by following my own interests and making what excites and motivates me. The Internet has endless help and resources for anyone willing to learn on their own.

As for pixel art, I seen some pixel art online and just instantly thought to myself "Wow, I want to make that!". So I briefly studied and researched and then jumped head first into it and just kept putting in the hours. Started small, using pixel apps on my phone etc and gradually upped the scale and complexity. I had another page called "Pixelad" for about 6 months before Silphwave, I'll add a few of those earlier images here too for comparison.

When something doesn't look right, whether it be colours, composition, texture, font etc it really offends my brain. There's some kind of OCD factor that compels me to fix what I'm looking at. Most of my art is rearranging and recolouring things until it no longer annoys me. Almost like some feng shui process, especially for the cluttered album cover type designs I make.

I always liked drawing things as a kid, we didn't have much money for toys, game consoles or Pokémon cards etc; so I'd make my own. I filled a notebook with my own Pokémon gameboy experience, I drew locations on every page and made teams for dozens of trainers and gym leaders I'd fight along the way and had extensive stat tallies for all my Pokémon that were constantly getting erased and updated. It was basically a one man D&D adventure 😅 I'd make my own Harry Potter wands and Witches and Wizard cards or LotR weapons and maps. This kind of lore expanding, creating fan art was pretty much ingrained in me from an early age. Maybe that's why the nostalgic theme is ever present through my art as that's essentially what I'm doing, reliving and continuing my childhood.

(Sorry for the long convoluted answer, I found it helpful for organising my thoughts. You've prompted me to think of some things I hadn't considered before, thank you)

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honeyspiders10 · 2 years

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i saw your post about fluff with eddie and i gotta agree, there's so much smut and not enough fluff-

so to change that a bit, i would like to request gender neutral reader (who graduated) visiting Eddie at school during either lunch break or hellfire club meeting as a cute surprise (as eddie has been stressed out lately etc), and him just being SO happy that his partner visited him, and the reader visiting him much more often :>

Hi there!!!! I really like this idea!!! And also thanks so much for reading my fic..<3

-----------------‐‐--------------------------------------------------

Gender: gender neutral!!

Pairing: eddie munson

Summary: eddie was having a stressful day at school so you come visit him during one of his hellfire campaigns :)

Not proofread!! Sorry for any mistake!! I was writing this while I was waiting for cinnamon rolls..and I'm pretty sure they're burnt now...I'll read this over when I eat my burnt rolls..

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Third person pov

Eddie was sitting at his and his friends lunch table, everyone was talking amongst themselves but eddie wasn't paying attention. "Hey man, you alright?" Gareth asked him, concern lacing his words. "Yeah dude, you've been pretty distant these past couple weeks." Jeff stated. "Uhm, yeah okay. I'm been busy with tests and shit, I guess I'm just kinda stressed." Eddie said never looking up from his notebook that he had notes written in it from English class. Eddie was currently falling behind in this class ever since his partner graduated last year. They were great at english, they love to write and read and stuff. Eddie does like to read and write but he doesn't like to do it at school.

(Time skip)

Y/n's pov

I got off early today at work. I thought it would he a good idea to go see eddie today, he's been stressed and I got him something to cheer him up!

I walked out of family video waving bye to Steve and Robin with a special something in my hand. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and fiddled with them to find my car keys. I gently placed the item for eddie in the seat next to me, then I jammed the keys into the ignition and drove to the school.

I entered the school with my item for him in hand, I made the journey from the front entrance to the closet were they do their d&d campaigns. I peeked through the glass window on the door, being careful to not let anyone see me. I saw eddie standing on his throne being the silly goober he is. Everyone around him laughing and blowing raspberries at him. These events brought a smile to my features. He doesn't seem as stressed anymore, but he still looks tired. I decided after spying on them for a couple minutes I should walk in. I opened the door and stepped in, putting my present for my freak behind my back.

Third person pov

At the sound of the door opening they all aimed their heads at the door, looking at who dared to interrupt their campaign. Eddie was very irritated at the disturbance, until he saw who it was. A smile, stretched from ear to ear made an appearance onto his face. He jumped out of his throne and practically ran over to y/n wrapping his arms around their neck/waist (depending on your height). You looked down/up at him smiling at his excitement. "What are you doing here, sweetheart?" Eddie questioned, tilting his head slightly like a puppy learning something for the first time. "I came to see you, baby. I know you've been a little stressed lately, anytime you come visit you're always really tired and sad, so I wanted to surprise you! And I bought you something and I couldn't wait till tonight to give it to you." Y/n exclaimed. Eddie's features turned from happy to curious, he titled his head again, a smile never leaving his face. "Oh sweetheart! Thank you for coming.. now.... what did'ya get me?" He asked reaching for the bag behind your back, you moved the bag out of his reach earning a soft whine from the man in front of you. "Come on, n/n! Let me have it!" You backed away, a playful smile finding a place on your lips. "No I don't think I will." y/n uttered, moving the bag that eddie just tried to pounce. You and eddie continued what looked like a weird dance to the others for a couple minutes before eddie gave up with a half laugh half groan. "Okay, okay! I give!" He said said, giving you a pout, a very overdramatic one at that. His bottom lip was jutted out a little to far and his doe eyes were bigger than normal if that was possible. Laughing you said, "okay big boy, I'll give you your present. C'mere and get it before I change my minnndddd.." exaggerating the last word, and waving the present in front of you. He walked over to you and reached for the present. You pulled the present back and leaned down/up and planted a soft kiss on his lips, you mumbled against his lips, "of course, you had to give me some form of payment, big boy." You uttered against his lips. Eddie was blushing, even his ears were a shade of pink. He smiled and brushed your noses together, earning a giggle from you and a "blaugh!" From the others behind you. Eddie flipped them the bird, and them proceeded to grab the present you handed him.

He opened the gift a smile still gracing his lips. He pulled out a cassette tape, and a vinyl. The cassette tape was a black sabbath song, you new eddie was having a hard time finding it, so when it arrived at family video, you snatched it before anyone else could. "I- this is the newest black sabbath song!! Where did you find this?!?" He exclaimed, practically jumping up and down out of excitement. A chuckle escaped your lips, "I was doing my restocks and found it." Y/n stated. Eddie nodded and continued looking at his new cassette. Next, he looked at the vinyl. It was a limited edition Ozzy Osbourne album. The vinyl, instead of being black, it was red with bats on it. Eddie was crying in excitement. No one has ever given him stuff like this. This album ran for 150 dollars in any store he's been to looking for it. He felt a little guilty. "I-babe. This vinyl was so expensive. That's why I haven't bought it. You didn't have to spend so much money on me.." Eddie said, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry. He felt so loved, it felt nice. Y/n ran to him, wrapping their arms around him. "Hey, don't cry."- y/n said bringing a hand up to wipe a stray happy tear from his beautiful face. "Its okay, eddie. I found both at family video and i know how much you love their music. You've been looking for both and I couldn't just not get them for you. I didn't spend that much money, I know that's what you're worrying about. I get an employee discount so it was just a little over 80 bucks. No need to cry over this baby. I love you." Y/n stated, in a soft tone, while rubbing Eddie's cheek with their thumb. Eddie smiled big at them, leaning into their touch. He loved his presents so much, but not as much as he loved you. He hopes you'll come visit him again more often now. It really helped him.

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Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! Toodles!!

Make sure to go check out my bestie!! @boo5670!!!

#x reader #male reader #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson #stranger things #gender neutral reader

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tc-frog · 1 year

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april TC challenge days 1-10 by @morethanwords0475 <3

this challenge seems like fun so i thought i'd participate yay :) catching up and hopefully doing it daily afterwards ^^

Day 1: Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? nope and i don't think i ever would. i just don't have the guts to prank teachers (or even friends) haha

Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? oh god i love this memory pahahaha i was new in class (i changed schools two weeks after the year started) and the very first lesson was J's religion lesson. i remember him talking about Jesus smoking weed and being high or something and at first I thought “where the hell did i land here” lmao😭 so my first impression of him was like "who tf is this guy and what did he smoke"

Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? hmm with him as a teacher i do like it because, as i mentioned before, he teaches religion, but it feels more like philosophy. and i definitely prefer the latter haha seeing as philosophy (and religion) are very subjective topics, i can't be objectively good at it. when comparing myself to my classmates i would say i'm more interested in philosophy, books by philosophers and all the ideas than them. that doesn't make me good at it tho, so unfortunately there's no answer for that sdlkghsldkg

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap? it's a pretty normal age gap for a student and a teacher to have i guess slkdghsldkgh (our age gap is approximately around 35 years)

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? in our conversation on teams, i mentioned that i really liked his lessons and his way of teaching. in his reply, he thanked me for it and said that's most important to him. :) i don't know the exact wording, but i can dig up the message and post it if anyone's interested

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? J is ALWAYS so confused and really aloof. like, that man can't hold a thought for a second. if you ask him a question, be prepared for a ramble that goes on for half an hour without ever mentioning the topic of your question again. it's so funny honestly😭

Day 7: What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? okay. man. this is really fucking weird. please don't think i'm weird😭 also not exactly a gift, i'd want it back haha buuut i've always thought how i so desperately want to give him my little notebooks i carry everywhere which are diaries, poetry collections, just my thoughts scrabbled out on paper. i want him to understand me and by reading these notebooks, he would. as a real gift, i think a book annotated by me would be nice, i just want him to see my thoughts about books he's read too

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? he did, once. he told us how he had no idea what he wanted to do after school and how he was actually a really bad student. i really felt him in that moment slkghsghslk

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them? yesss he has a wife and they've been married for a reaaaally long time i think. i saw her once with him at our school prom, they were sitting on the table next to us, and both of us were eating. at the time, i avoided him and tried to act like i didn't see him in hopes of him not noticing me lol. about his wife - if he talks about her, it's only ever positive so i can imagine she's really nice. :)

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them? of course the usual summer break, but actually right now! he had a pretty bad skiing accident around the start of february, so i haven't seen him since then. if everything's good, i'll hopefully see him again on friday! but it actually made me really sad that i didn't see J for so long because i promised myself i would try to talk to him before i never saw him again. i know he sometimes talks to students who stay behind after his lessons, sometimes for a really long time, and especially after the awkward end of our conversation on teams i really really want to have a long and thorough conversation with him just once. i don't really have a lot of possibilities anymore, time is running out, so i'll have to be brave and find an opportunity and then actually talk to him haha. wish me luck, i'll surely make more posts about this lol

#april tc challenge #male teacher crush #teacher crush community #teacher crush #teacher attachment #tc struggles #tc community #tc blog #male tc

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muselin · 3 years

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See You Later - Part 1

Who: Beomgyu

Group: TXT

What: Beomgyu/f!reader, collegeAU, slow burn, eventual smut, college student!Gyu, model!Gyu

Word count: 2,238

A/N: this is for @bluekais ❤ Hope you enjoy! Sorry that it's taken so long! There will be a Part 2 coming but I got myself elbows-deep into Kinktober so might take a while as well 🎃

____________________________________

"Tch."

The dissatisfied noise leaving your lips had become habit by now. Just his presence annoyed you, but the fact that he had the nerve to show up late to class almost every time, carrying that stupid skateboard, made your blood boil a little bit. He never studied, never did the assignments, always showed up late and he was still somehow passing this class. This class that you had worked so hard to get into and had to keep working so hard to stay in. It didn't come naturally to you but it did to him and it made you green with envy.

"Ah, Beomgyu-ssi, how kind of you to join us," your professor quipped sarcastically as Beomgyu beamed a smile that was frustratingly charming and headed for the only empty space in the auditorium which, to your displeasure, happened to be next to you.

You didn't acknowledge each other as you continued scribbling furiously into your notebook while Beomgyu sat with his chin leaned on his hand. You noticed that he hadn't taken out anything to write with.

"Now I will hand out your assignments for the next lecture. Remember we have study week, so you will have one week to complete these. Please remain in your seats as you are now."

Your professor proceeded to hand out stacks of papers and you couldn't help noticing that he was handing only one stack for every two students. He was making his way down your row and dropped off an assignment right between you and Beomgyu.

"I can hold it for us," Beomgyu smiled pleasantly as he looked over to you, seemingly unaffected by your sour expression. As the two of you read the instructions for the music production assignment, Beomgyu would stop and mutter to himself every once in a while: "Hmm, I already have a bass guitar for this," "This would be very easy to add a snare to," "I just need vocals and someone to match the drum line to this".

"Alright, everyone ready?" The auditorium hummed with mumbled "yes"es.

"Good," your professor continued, "you will be doing the assignment in pairs, in the order that I've handed the assignments out to you".

You groaned inwardly, noticing yours and Beomgyu's names at the bottom right corner of the cover page.

"Class dismissed!"

You were unsure what to do. You'd have to spend quite a lot of time with Beomgyu to finish this but you didn't have his number and you didn't even know which dorm he was in. Before you could open your mouth to ask Beomgyu when you should meet up, he was getting up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"See you later, Y/N," his voice laced with his regional dialect reached you as an afterthought.

"Tch. Fuck you too, Choi," you muttered.

___________________

It had been four days since you last saw Beomgyu and you were getting nervous. You had started the assignment early and done as much as you could do. You hated to admit it but you really did need him for this. You had worked out a base melody but it was too bare and uninteresting and you knew from hearing him talk to himself that he knew a lot of elements which could add flare and points to the assignment. You hunched over your laptop, browsing the music library. Begrudgingly, at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday, you decided to email him through the university central email list.

### 22:01 ### Hi Beomgyu, it's Y/N, your partner for the music production assignment. I've thrown some things together but we need to meet to do the rest. I realised I didn't have your number or your dorm address, let me know when we can meet up. ###

You waited for a while after pressing send, just in case he was on his emails right now. At midnight you gave up and went to sleep.

### 03:44 ### Hi! Sorry about that! Can you bring what you have over to mine at about noon tomorrow? Here's the postcode ###

You woke up to the reply from Beomgyu and nearly panicked that you would be late. He didn't live close by at all, the post code seemed to be for a swanky area of newly built apartments downtown, miles away from your suburban campus.

You showered and dressed as quickly as possible. You weren't dressing up for anyone. Jeans, sneakers and a flannel shirt was all Beomgyu was getting from you. You grabbed your laptop and equipment and headed out the door.

________________

At 11:55, you knocked on Beomgyu's door. He lived on the 13th floor and on the elevator up to his apartment you hoped to whoever would listen that this wouldn't turn out to be as unlucky as the out-of-order sign on the second elevator.

The front door clicked and opened to reveal a somewhat sleepy Beomgyu, dressed in a tshirt and pyjama bottoms.

"Oh, Y/N, you're early," he said, then looked at his watch. You found this ironic, considering he never showed up to class on time.

"Well, not by much. Can I come in?"

"Sure," he said, opening the front door widely for you to walk in past him. "I'll make coffee," he yawned.

As you walked past him you couldn't help but note in your head that he smelled really good. You weren't sure if it was his cologne or laundry but it was the kind that settled pleasantly in your chest and made you want to breathe in deeper. You stopped that train of thought harshly as soon as you felt your mind drift that way. You were perfectly happy with feeling generally mildly annoyed with Beomgyu. It was your comfort zone, even if having to work with him was pushing it.

"So how come you don't live on camp-- Wow..."

Your jaw dropped as you walked into the apartment. It was nothing like the cramped dorm rooms you and your friends shared on campus. It was bright, spacious and well-decorated, with huge windows and a view that rivaled the best hotels in the business district.

"How the fuck are you affording this," the words tumbled out of you with little grace before you could stop them.

"Well, since you ask, I work a lot of side jobs," Beomgyu said nonchalantly as he poured water into the kettle in the open-plan kitchen.

"Really? What do you do?"

"Uhm...," he scratched his neck sheepishly, "at the moment I model."

"You? You model?"

"Yeah, why," he tilted his head at you, looking at you quizzically.

Those big brown eyes, the soft curves of his lips, his chiseled jawline... And his hair looked really soft too. Suddenly from thinking nothing of him you were imagining him as a model. You wondered what he modeled for. Could it be fashion brands? Lifestyle? Prints? Maybe even swimsuits? He always wore those baggy jeans and t-shirts, but maybe...

"Y/N?"

"Oh," you snapped back to him, realising you hadn't answered him. "Yeah I just... didn't know, that's all."

"Uhm, cool. Why don't you drop your stuff off in the room down the hall, the one on the left?"

You nodded and picked up your laptop bag and equipment, your feet sinking into the plush carpet as you padded down the hall. You nudged open the door to the room he'd pointed you to, jaw dropping again for the second time today as you walked in.

The room was a small makeshift studio, with mics, a sound control board and several guitars. Several notepads were strewn about along with a few used coffee mugs and muffin wrappers. It seemed to be the most lived-in space of Beomgyu's house so far and you were suddenly starting to understand why he never seemed to pay much attention to the classes. You dropped your bags off in the corner and sat down at his computer, looking at the various pieces of equipment connected to it.

"How do you like your coffee?"

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard Beomgyu's pleasant voice reverberate in the room. You hadn't heard him come in after you. Covering up your startled reaction, you mumbled your preference and he returned shortly with two steaming mugs, setting them down on his desk.

"Um, so... For this assignment I've tried layering the melodies but it's very bare. I thought we could use it as a starting point and build on it," you said, trying to sound more businesslike.

"That's good, thanks. I actually don't have a lot of time so a head start would be good. I have an hour now but then I need to head out."

Your brow furrowed. An hour? It had taken you three days to put together what you had so far.

"Let's see what you've got," Beomgyu reached for the USB stick in your hands and plugged it into his computer. He downloaded the files and ran them.

An unobtrusive melody filled the small studio. He listened politely, head tilted to one side until it faded out.

"Um... Yeah, I don't play guitar so I wasn't sure what would sound good with that," you started, hands playing with the edges of your shirt nervously. You hated feeling incompetent, especially in front of Beomgyu.

"Yeah, no offence, but it does need a lot more than that," he said. "Let's see what I can do with that."

You sat in your chair and watched him plug one of his guitars into the amp behind you. He tuned it according to the scales in your melody and started to play along.

"Nana naaa," he hummed along quietly. "I don't know about that bar, what do you think," he asked you.

"It's not bad but I think it can go for longer," you replied. Beomgyu nodded, stopping the recording and starting again.

You watched him get lost in his own world as the notes coming from his guitar breathed life into your melody. You watched his fingers strum and pluck, watched his lips open and close in concentration, occasionally the lower one being worried by his teeth. You watched his long hair fall into his face. You simply watched Beomgyu in his zone, not noticing when he stopped playing.

"Y/N?"

Your eyes focused and met his deep brown ones, your lips tensing as you tried to seem attentive.

"Yeah? Yeah, that was good, let's add that in," you spoke quickly.

"Cool," Beomgyu then stood up and reached behind you to switch off the amp. You couldn't stop yourself from breathing in again when his chest and neck nearly brushed across your face. His warm hand dropped to your shoulder, giving you a casual pat.

"Why don't you sit at the computer and keep replaying the recoding while I write down the chords," he suggested.

"Okay, sure," you stood up in the cramped space and there was barely room for you two to switch places. Beomgyu's hands instinctively came up to your waist to steady you as he brushed past you. Your breath hitched but you said nothing as you sat down at his desk and started the recording.

Your combined melody filled the small room and you found yourself nodding along. You hated to admit it but you liked it much more with Beomgyu's additions. You played it several times while he wrote down the chords.

"Right, awesome," he drawled in his dialect after he was finished. "I have to get dressed and head out now, but if you want we can meet up again later today. I won't be done until quite late but I sleep late anyway."

"How late are we talking," you asked suspiciously.

"I would be done about 11, we could meet back here," Beomgyu offered.

You hesitated for a second. It was a lot later than what you considered acceptable but at the same time you didn't trust Beomgyu. You weren't sure you would get any more time out of him than this.

"Okay, deal. Message me when you're done and I'll head over."

"Cool, here's my number," Beomgyu grabbed your phone to type his own number in and called himself. "You okay to let yourself out?"

He left the studio and went into the room across, which you guessed was probably his bedroom. You copied the new files onto your USB before you packed up your things and left the studio as well. On the way you saw that Beomgyu's bedroom door was ajar. You saw him standing with his back to the door as he was pulling his t-shirt over his head. Your lips tensed into a line as you tried to not to make any noise and not even to breathe.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"See you later, Y/N."

You stood frozen in place as your eyes traced the lines of his back muscles to his pretty shoulders, not missing his toned arms flexing as he reached up to push the t-shirt over his head. Your gaze trailed back down his body to his hips where his bottoms were slung low, exposing the two cute dimples at his lower back. He didn't look like he was wearing anything underneath.

Beomgyu dropped his shirt to the floor and you suddenly darted down the corridor, panicked that he would turn around and see you. His bottoms dropped down just as he heard his front door open and shut.

#txt beomgyu #txt choi beomgyu #txt imagines #txt scenario #txt college au #txt au #txt fic #tomorrowxtogether #tomorrow x together #txt beomgyu imagines #txt beomgyu fluff

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rowansparrow · 2 years

Note

I really want to get into writing, both sfw and nsfw, but every time I sit down to write I go blank or get scared to do it. I don’t know why I’m scared but that’s just what ends up happening. I really want to ask you and @djarrex for tips/pointers/advice, because you two are some of the best writers I’ve seen on this site, but I always chicken out before I can. -✨

Hello anon! Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, and thank you so much for your kind words!

I rambled a bit, so I'm putting everything below the cut.

I think the best advice I can give is to remember first and foremost that you are writing for YOU, not for anyone else. Obviously, engagement/notes/people reading your work is nice, but don't base your worth as a writer purely on engagement. Write the things you love, write the things that make you happy, and at the end of the day, if even ONE person reads your work, even if that one person is you, I'd consider that a job well-done. Don't let the fear of writing hold you back. Just write, write whatever comes to mind. And also, you definitely don't HAVE to post writing if you aren't comfortable with it! Like I said, writing can (and should!) be something that makes you happy, and that starts with the realization that you are writing for yourself, and for your own enjoyment. Don't let the desire to write for others take away from your enjoyment of the craft.

As for more technical advice, here's what I've got for you:

Don't wait for the moment you sit down at your notebook/computer/typewriter/whatever you use to start writing. Instead, write little pieces wherever you can. I use the notes app and also the voice app in my phone like crazy. If I have a random idea for a bit of dialogue or if I suddenly get inspired while I'm out and about, I'm frantically jotting things down in my notes, or sometimes if I'm driving, I'll get suddenly inspired so I'll switch to my voice app and just talk out loud to myself, processing the plot.

For example, here's a screenshot from the notes in my phone where I was brainstorming WBIT (with some stuff crossed out for spoilers):

It doesn't have to be anything fleshed out! You can just jot down whatever you're thinking about and see what it becomes when you sit down to write. If I find myself getting stuck while I write, I go back through my notes/audio recordings and see if there's anything in there I can use. It's very helpful. :)

I also HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading, tbh. In order to write a lot, you gotta also read a lot. Read other people's fan works, sure, but also read books, read poetry, read the news, read anything you can get your hands on. There are so many stories in your head, and sometimes the key to unlocking them is reading a really great word or phrase from somebody else.

Also, if you're shy about posting work/anxious about getting engagement/any of the following things, feel free to pop into my inbox or DMs any time! I'm more than happy to help however I can. :)

Okay, I'm passing the mic to @djarrex now so she can add on if she wants.

#anons #asks #ro writes #writing advice #Hope this helps anon <3

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xanderwithanx · 3 years

Text

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

#long post #diary entry

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mimisempai · 3 years

Text

Wait for me on the other side 7/8

Summary:

Will we attend the long awaited meeting?

Notes:

Final stretch before the end... How are you doing?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32948254/chapters/82448716

Loki's apartment - 2021

I WANT TO MEET YOU!

FOR REAL THIS TIME!

Loki turned the drawing over, Mobius had added a few words to it.

Answer me after 6pm, I'll wait by the mailbox.

Loki looked at the clock, it was 5:15 p.m., he took his notepad and his pencil and left in a hurry towards the house on the cliff.

Arriving a few minutes after 6pm, he went to the mailbox, scribbled quickly on his notebook, tore out the page and after putting it in the box, he raised the flag.

It was lowered almost immediately, the start of another conversation punctuated by its movement.

Mobius House - 2019

Mobius was pacing around the box, avoiding looking at his watch every minute, wondering if he had frightened Loki with his request for a date, when the flag suddenly rose.

L -How?

M -Pick a place. I will be there. I promise. Tomorrow, what do you say?

L -Mobius. It's not tomorrow for you. You'll have to wait two years.

M -I don't care. I'll wait. Meet me at the restaurant tomorrow and I'll be there. I'll be two years older, but I'll be there.

L -What will you be doing all that time?

M -Think about you. And working out every day, getting in shape, praying I don't lose my hair...

L -Are you sure?

M -I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I've already lost so much time. I don't want to waste any more with you.

Loki suddenly felt almost dizzy. Mobius had two years to prepare for this appointment while Loki had less than twenty-four hours. He took a deep breath before closing the mailbox.

L - See you in two years, then.

M - See you tomorrow night. Where would you like to go?

Frigga restaurant - 2019

Mobius entered the restaurant and was greeted by the hostess.

"Hi, I'd like to reserve a table for two."

She flipped through the reservation book before telling him in an apologetic tone, "Well, I'm sorry, but we just received our fourth star and I'm afraid it's extremely difficult to get a reservation at this hour. When did you expect to dine here?"

Mobius replied with a smile, "Two years from tomorrow. September 15, 2021."

The hostess blinked a few times and then closed the book, before answering with a big smile, "We should be able to accommodate you, sir."

Loki's apartment - September 15, 2021 - Morning

Loki prepared to leave for work. He looked at the outfit he prepared for that evening. He couldn't remember when he hadn't felt such excitement. He couldn't remember ever feeling this excited.

September High School - September 15, 2021 - 5pm

As he packed up his things after having finished his last class of the day, and was already looking forward to the evening ahead, he was jolted out of his reverie by Thor's stormy arrival in his office.

"Thank God you're still here."

"Obviously." replied Loki, pointing out with irony.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not your week, but can you do a detention watch for an hour? Jane is visiting between flights and I was supposed to monitor tonight's detention, but-"

Loki looked at his watch and sighed, "Yes, I can, but one hour not more. I have a date."

"Thank you, thank you! I promise, it's just an hour, no more. But I want to hear all about this date tomorrow, okay?"

Loki shook his head and chuckled, "Alright, alright, go meet Jane!"

Before leaving, Thor threw over his shoulder, "I don't know who that is, but I've never seen you smile like that before, Loki, and it suits you! Bye!"

He was gone before Loki had time to answer.

An hour later, Loki was walking quickly towards his apartment. He entered in a hurry, ran into the room and threw off his clothes.

Croki followed him around, curious, as Loki muttered, "He waited two years. What's another half hour? Right?"

He continued his preparations, but at a calmer pace. He put on a dark green v-neck sweater, of a shade that he knew brought out his eyes, at least that's what the saleswoman had told him, a pair of charcoal-colored pants that highlighted his silhouette. He looked at himself two or three times in the mirror before shrugging his shoulders.

A few minutes later, he left his building and took a cab to the restaurant.

Frigga Restaurant - September 2021

Loki stopped before entering. He inhaled several times to calm himself. He was ready, excited but confident. He opened the door with a firm hand.

While removing his coat, he scanned the room. There are not many tables. Before he could find Mobius, the hostess approached him.

"Good evening sir, can I help you?"

Loki cleared his throat, "Yes, I have a reservation. Laufeyson. Or Mobius, I'm not sure what name it was made under."

The hostess examined her book and looked up with a huge smile, "Oh yes! You're the..." she paused before pulling herself together, "Follow me."

Loki was led to a table for two. It was empty. He was a little surprised.

The hostess turned to him and said, a little embarrassed, "I hope you'll forgive me, but I can't help asking..."

"Yes?"

"This reservation is sort of... legendary. It's been here longer than most employees. There's always been intense speculation about who made it, and why, and whether you were really going to show up. Some of the team members even made bets..."

Loki looked around. Throughout the room, waiters were glaring at him. The chefs and kitchen helpers were looking out the kitchen door. Loki suddenly felt very embarrassed.

The hostess immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'll send the waiter to get your drink order right away."

A little later a waiter returned and poured Loki a glass of champagne.

"Compliments of the chef."

Loki nodded in thanks.

Just before leaving, the waiter threw him a small smile, "Good luck."

Loki began to sip the champagne, a little more nervous.

Some time later, his glass was empty and he was still waiting, alone at the table. The waiter approached to refill his glass, but Loki stopped him.

He was aware that the restaurant staff was watching him, whispering among themselves. Two hours passed, other customers lingered over dessert, coffee, chatting intimately at the candlelit tables.

Loki was still alone.

After a long moment, he pushed back his chair and stood up. Everyone was looking at him, gravely.

He walked to the front, expressionless, and took his coat, without speaking to anyone before leaving under the sad look of the hostess watching him leave. Loki returned home, alone. His stoic facade began to crumble. He had tears in his eyes.

He took a paper and wanted to write but didn't have the heart. Not now.

House on the cliff - September 16, 2019

The day was gray and windy, Mobius stood in front of his mailbox and read the words "YOU WEREN'T THERE." He shook his head, lost.

M - I'm really sorry. I don't understand. Something must have happened. Look, I have two years. I'll try to fix it.

L -No, Mobius... You don't understand. It's too late. It's already happened.

I'm not upset. I mean, I was at first.

But now I just feel stupid... that I forgot how much a person's life can change in two years.

And for expecting yours not to change.

For expecting you to wait, to stand still, to put your life on hold, for me.

M - But I can do it. I can wait for you. I know I can. I won't forget.

L -Maybe you did. Maybe, wherever you are, you are busy, happy, and living so fully in the present that the dinner you planned two years ago just... slipped your mind. Just like you forget about impossible fantasies when they're over, when you get on with real life.

M - You mean I should go on with my real life?

L- I mean... I think we both should.

After seeing his words, Mobius hurried to answer, his hand trembling with emotion.

Please write to me, answer me.

Mobius put his letter in the mailbox and raised the flag. It stayed up.

An hour later, the flag was still up, Mobius opened the mailbox, there was only the note he had put in.

Hours, then days, then months passed, as Mobius wrote and posted letter after letter. Finally, there was a stack of his letters in the box. They continued to pile up, unanswered. Until the box was so full that Mobius could not put any more letters in.

Bi-Frost Bar - Février 2022

It was winter, everything outside was covered in snow.

Loki was sitting at a table with Bruce, Thor, Heimdall and Carol.

They were now meeting here at least once a week after work.

As Bruce and Carol debated some obscure point of astronomy, mediated by Heimdall, Thor leaned toward Loki and put his hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Loki gave a half-smile and answered honestly because Thor was one of the few people who could read him, "I've been better."

"Are you still writing to your mysterious pen pal."

Loki, his throat tight, could not answer and shook his head.

Thor simply said, without insisting, "I'm sorry, Loki, if you need to talk, you know my phone number."

Loki did not answer.

Later, as he returned home, he found a message on his answering machine.

"Hi, Lo. It's Sigyn. I'm in town. I had to come in for a meeting."

Loki started to press the button to delete the message, when Sigyn's voice continued, "A real one this time. I swear to you. Call me. Only if you feel like it."

The next evening Loki and Sigyn were sitting in the pizzeria where they had met before. Neither of them really felt comfortable.

Sigyn said quietly, "I didn't think you'd come out."

Loki replied wryly, "Don't take this personally but..."

Sigyn interrupted him, "You couldn't say no to the free meal."

"Exactly." they both laughed.

Then Loki asked, "So. How did your ' meeting ' go?"

Sigyn looked slightly offended at the way Loki had emphasized the word meeting.

"I told you I didn't make it up, it really happened. They offered me a job.A bigger firm. I'm going to be in-house counsel." She smiled proudly before continuing, "Call them if you don't believe me."

A little later, they arrived in front of Loki's residence which was on the way to Sigyn's hotel. They stopped at the door.

Sigyn said quietly, "I took this job because I wanted to. This is not an ambush, Lo."

Loki nodded and replied softly, "Well, that's great news. Congratulations, Sigyn. I'm really happy for you."

Sigyn smiled, "Thank you, and thank you for coming."

Loki leaned over and kissed her goodnight, briefly. Sigyn looked surprised and pleased.

Loki watched her, it was comfortable and familiar, but then his gaze slipped to the tree behind Sigyn. Its leaves swayed in the night air. It was the tree Mobius had planted. Loki looked at it, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Sigyn, but I can't."

After a tearful goodbye, as he walked back up to his apartment, Loki muttered to himself, "I may not be able to meet him, but I can't lie to myself either."

Mobius House - 2020

The mailbox was covered with snow. It was so cold that the lake had frozen over. Mobius, who was walking outside, looked inside the mailbox, by reflex. It was empty. He closed it slowly, disappointment on his face.

Distracted, he didn't notice that Croki was walking away quickly, towards the forest.

Mobius finally looked around.

Croki started to run. Mobius chased him. But soon, in the density of the forest, he did not see him anymore. Mobius ran straight ahead, continuing to call. He tripped on a stump and fell into the snow, he got up and called again, looking around, upset. Croki was really gone.

Mobius was about to run again, when he suddenly stopped. A realization dawned on his face.

Croki was going to find his new owner.

Mobius knew what he had to do.

A few days later, he was talking in the living room with Casey.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Mobius replied with a wistful look on his face, "Yes, I need to move on, staying here, I won't make it."

Casey nodded, understanding and added simply, "If you need help, you can count on me."

A few weeks later, "Mobius packed the house methodically and with determination. He assembled boxes with tape and threw his things in. He put the trash in bags, swept and mopped.

As he was tidying up, he found the stack of letters from Loki. He looked at them for a moment, then packed them up and shoved them in the bottom of a cardboard box before carrying the box to the attic and sealing it.

Hill & Fury Law Firm - 2020

Mobius checked the address on his phone, walked in, and headed to the front desk.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to Sigyn Iwaldi, I don't have an appointment, but tell her it's Mobius and it's urgent."

A few minutes later, Sigyn arrived in the lobby, and motioned for him to follow her into an adjoining meeting room. She barely greeted him and did not look happy to see him.

Mobius didn't wait and asked her point-blank, "Do you still want to rent a house by the lake?"

He didn't wait for an answer and tossed her a bunch of keys. Sigyn looked puzzled.

Mobius continued, "That's what Loki wants."

Sigyn looked angry and asked him abruptly, "How can you know that? How can you know what he wants? Besides, we're not even..."

Mobius shook his head, "I don't want to know anything, but trust me this is what he wants."

Mobius waited no longer and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Later, as Sigyn was opening her car, something caught her eye in the distance. An alligator was slowly strolling down the street, looking lost but heading straight for her. It was Croki.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 (End)

__________

I've said in the last chapter, as a reader I hate cliffhangers. So for you, I've put the turbo on and I'm just saying, stay tuned... you won't have to wait until tomorrow for the last chapter... maybe with only one comment on this chapter, I'll be convinced to publish it even sooner... 😏

#lokius #Developing Relationship #no powers au #Alternate Universe #Letters #penpal #loki series au #loki #mobius m. mobius #lokius fics

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racebox-of-higgars · 3 years

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//plops down at table with three notebooks//

Good evening.

You shall now be the subject of my rambling and info-dumping, seeing as you have recently reblogged a post about invading your ask box to do just that.

So, buckle up, my beloved mutual, for I am about to talk your damn ears off.

We all know historians are heterosexist shabuire, yes? Yes? Good. So I've taken it upon myself to send an f-you to all of them and collect evidence for one of the historically accurate ships they so desperately try to erase. The one in question here is, of course, Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens, or more commonly known as Lams.

I've done... a lot of research, to put it mildly. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do consider reading letters from the late 1700s and screaming because I can feel my heart MELTING as research.

Anygay, there's a lot that I have right now so I'll just hit the highlights, because if I go completely in-depth with everything I've found, this'll be thousands of words longer.

The year is 1779. The month, April. The date... unknown. Which sucks. Alexander and John have fought together for years at this point and are very close... friends. This is the first time they've been truly separated. The letter open with:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me."

So pretty much what this opening paragraph is saying is this: "*Sexual innuendo* And I'll keep telling you that until you die. So you know I hate everyone and don't want to have any attachments to anyone. But you've managed to worm your way into my heart, even though I didn't want it. So now that you've done it, please keep doing it, for you if not for me."

Now that's just hella gay. Like, hella fucking gay.

The middle paragraphs are mainly talk about the war, so skipping those for the end because that's when things get spicy as FUCK.

Alexander asks John to find him a wife and goes into great detail about exactly what he wants in a wife. I saw a theory somewhere (I can't remember where) that Alexander was actually describing John and yeah, it pretty much checks out. Keeping in mind deliberate irony is a thing.

So then he goes on to say: "...mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩." 'Nose' is a slang term. And the - - - - - are crossed out words. We'll get to those later.

The last sentence of this letter is: "I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend." and I find this. So. Sweet. He's pretty plainly missing John. And just- he uses the word intercourse. How- how is that platonic? This is gay. They're gay. It's gay.

In almost all the letters that survived, they're signed with "Yours", "Affectionately Yrs.", "Yrs most sincerely", "Yr affectionate", and "Yrs forever" from Alexander. "Adieu, my dear boy", "My love as usual", "You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens", and "Yours ever" all came from John, with the last being the most common. That's... also not terribly straight. Something additionally interesting is that John's father, Henry Laurens, called his wife, Elenor, "Dear girl." That would make it explicitly romantic in his eyes. John also called his wife that in the only surviving letter from him to her. Oh yeah, he's married and has a kid, btw.

So pretty much how that happened was John's boyfriend Francis Kinloch broke up with him, he banged Martha probably 'cause he was sad and pissed and had a lot of feelings, she got pregnant, then he married her out of pity. Alexander knew none of that. And they were really close. The only reason he found out was because he happened to stumble upon some stuff he shouldn't have, and he was pissed. The whole paragraph about him detailing the wife he wanted? Pretty much petty payback.

Devoted is an interesting word, isn't it? Stronger than it's synonyms, such as caring or loyal. So if we skip ahead a few years, Alexander is engaged to Eliza. He tells John about this, John responds, and in his next letter he says: "...as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now." He's telling him, "Don't worry, I'll still love you as much as I always have. Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't change my feelings for you." Again. Heterosexual explanation? None.

" I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade." Keep in mind that at this point now, Alexander was married. And he didn't include his wife in the exemptions. Only John and one of his closest friends, Richard Meade. Dunno 'bout you, but that seems rather telling to me. He also says at the end: "My ravings are for your own bosom." And I can't. His ravings are for John's heart I can't.

These are just some of the highlights of my nearly six thousand word book on this subject. I would happily copy/paste it all, but I'm not gonna subject you to that XD For full viewing the link is here, should you wish to listen to me ramble and rant in more detail.

Thank you for allowing me to dump this all on your lap, and I shall now bid you adieu. //vanishes back into the shadows//

HI, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I’ve had a pretty full-on day.

This was actually super interesting to read. I actually did a little bit of research into this about a year ago, when I was writing Lams fanfiction, so I knew about the ‘cold in my professions, warm in my friendships” letter, but not any of the others, so thanks for this!! It was a really fascinating read, and I definitely learned a lot from reading it. Have a good day :)

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chosenkeepersworld · 3 years

Text

The Curses We Inherit - Chapter 10

Original Work

Date Posted: August 28, 2021 (Tumblr)

Word count: 1, 169 words

A/N: Work is unbeta'd but I do hope you'll still enjoy reading it. Comments are always appreciated! And if you can't wait to read what happens next, this story is also up on Wattpad (under the username ChosenKeeper0971) but with way more chapters, I appreciate your support there too!

Thank you so much, I hope everyone is having an awesome day and happy reading :)

Masterlist / Part 9

Luckily there were no other incidents as they arrived at their next stop.

Danika had little opportunity to give in to childish whims back in the States, but being surrounded by people she considered friends she allowed herself to relax more and unconsciously did things that she always wanted.

One of which happened as they approached the sign welcoming them to a new town, upon seeing the large signboard Danika gasped and pressed her face against the glass, trying to read it before the car passed.

Jac and Krysa glanced at the back seat, saying nothing but sharing a smile.

It was a getting late in the afternoon prompting Krysa to bring up an issue "It'll be late by the time we leave town, we should find a place to sleep and then leave at dawn"

This was met with different responses. An excited exclamation from Danika and a disbelieving 'huh' from Jacqueline. "Find a place to sleep? Why don't we just rough it?"

"Rough it? As in camping and stuff?" Danika asked

"Yup" Jac looked at her

Danika hesitated and Jac sighed in response then looked to Krysa "Have I been away too long that you can no longer go without the comforts of a warm bed and four walls?"

"I am not thinking about me and it's just one night. We'll make up for it in the morning"

Jac silently mulled over Krysa's words "As long as you two are okay with wasting the night then I'll be okay with it too" the brunette grumbled.

The car was silent after that, tension was ever present as they entered town and made their way to the closest rest stop. Lucky as they were the trio were able to find an inn. It wasn't a big place but quaint and cozy looking, the trio parked the car and went to check in. They were able to get two rooms across from each other, Jac and Danika are to stay in one room while Krysa is to stay in the other, the shorter blonde assured Danika that she would be fine staying alone and Jacqueline could only agree with her.

Once Krysanthe left, Jac leaned closer to Danika and whispered "She's terrifying when she's angry and she can kick butt when she puts her mind to it"

Danika nodded then her eyebrows furrowed "Why are we whispering?"

The girl chuckled, the white tips of her mahogany hair swayed as she did so "There can be times when Krysa can hear what people say about her even though she's at a distance where it would be difficult to hear someone say anything"

"But through walls?"

"Anything's possible" the brunette then stood up "Anyway, rest up while you can we'll be going into town to talk to someone that might know where Rhian might be"

"She would at least tell Krysa if she were going to leave right?"

The brunette nodded "She did, Rhian tended to have a lot of out of town meetings for her businesses, she didn't leave often when Krysa was still a kid but when our favorite florist got older Rhian left more frequently more without a word to anyone"

The youngest O'Brien stared at the other woman with a soft, thoughtful look on her face "So Krys must worry a lot about her then?"

"Yeah but Krysa's used to it. Life goes on, kid. You can't stay stuck worrying about people or situations out of your control you have to keep moving forward."

An hour or so later there was very loud and constant knocking on their door. Jacqueline bolted up at the sound and Danika's eyes snapped open, both girls had dozed off and the sudden sound of knocking had snapped them out of it "Get up, get up ladies! We still have work to finish!" Krysanthe called out from behind the door, the two girls heard her footsteps fading as she walked away from their door.

Jac groaned and fell back on the bed, rolling to her back and burying her head into her pillow, Danika turned to the brunette trying to go back to sleep and heaved a sigh.

It took a while for both girls to get their things together then went downstairs to see Krysa sitting in the lobby with a cup of tea on the table, bent over scribbling something down on a notebook.

Danika seated herself next to Krysanthe while Jacqueline sat on the couch across the two blondes "What's that for?"

Krysa lifted her head, her hazel eyes bright with excitement "It's a list of Rhian's contacts and partners, she gave it to me so I could help her make calls in case she was out of town or had another meeting"

The blonde beside her raised an eyebrow "Is that why we're here?"

"I went through the call logs back before we left the shop. The last call Rhian made was to one of her partners here in town and they talked about the auction. We know when the auction is happening and where but not any other details"

"How are you going to get that info?" Jac asked

"I'll handle that don't worry" she waved her off "And in case they ask why you're with me just tell them you're helping bring some things for Rhian"

"Alright" Jac shifted in her seat getting more comfortable in her seat "While I am always up for trickery and deception-"

"That is not what we're doing" Krysa denied

Jac only gave her a look of disbelief in response then continued on "I do have some concerns"

This was surprising to Krysa, she'd know the brunette for years and never, not once, heard Jacqueline say she had concerns. If there was ever something the small blonde could compare her friend to it was wind. She never expected such hesitancy.

Krysa motioned her to continue "If you start to get a bad feeling you get the heck of there, info or no info. Your safety is what matters, so don't get any ideas"

That was fair.

"And one of us has to go with you" she paused for a second thinking it over "Actually no I will be the one coming with you"

"Okay now that is ridiculous. I can handle this!"

Danika stared at the duo while they continued arguing, she then reached into her bag for her phone. The heiress blinked when she couldn't feel the shape of the little gadget surmising that she left it in her luggage bag.

She tapped Jac's shoulder and asked for the key; without stopping the argument the brunette handed the key to their room. Danika made her way, letting out a breath of relief when she reached the stairs.

They eventually left the inn, keeping to Krysa's original plan, nothing happened on their way out but on Danika's way back to her friends there were two housekeeping employees giggling about a pair of guests, she paused when she heard their description of the two and an uneasy feeling settled in her gut. The description of the two men were familiar, too familiar to make Danika comfortable.

If they who the heiress thinks they are, her plans might be in some serious trouble.

****************

Krysa's plan went as well, she charmed Rhian's associate and got what they needed. Of course the short blonde immediately wanted to make more plans but Jac insisted they needed to celebrate their success. The florist wanted to argue but the look on her friend's face made her relent.

One night of fun before they went back on the road wouldn't be so bad.

Jacqueline being the person and traveler that she was, liked to enjoy her nights to the fullest before leaving again at sunrise. Meaning she knew all the good spots to party. But in consideration for her companions she chose a place that was tamer than her usual preferences. Krysa wasn't the type of person to enjoy giant crowds and Danika, well, it was clear the heiress did not have any experience with anything outside of what her father wanted for her.

The pub was close enough to the inn that the trio could just walk over, there were still seats still available when they arrived. Krysa moved to reserve their seats, Jac went over to the bar to order them something and Danika rushed to the comfort room to relieve herself.

It's been a good day, all things considering, Danika mused silently coming out to see more people streaming in, she moved so people could access the door. She paused watching the people enjoy themselves, laughing and drinking unabashed, making a mess and not freaking out about it. It was definitely a site for someone who had only seen stuffy 'gatherings' of high society.

"You saw those two at the bar, right?" Danika heard a giggle from her left, there were two girls whispering to themselves "I have eyes, which means I can also see they mean trouble. Handsome, clearly but definitely trouble"

One of them sighed "I see what you mean. The one with dark hair and blue eyes looks so serious and clearly he has money. And so does his friend especially with that odd tattoo on him"

Danika froze, there is no way that those girls were talking about the same people from the inn. It would make everything so much harder.

Her attention was then caught by some kind of ruckus happening in one area of the pub. Danika moved forward to see what was going on and there they were, the dark haired man with short, cropped hair, tall and grumpy looking. The gray-blue tattoos on his arms standing out on his arms, his eyes glaring at the crowd in warning and beside him, staring down at Krysa, who looked as shocked as Danika did, was a man with long dark hair, half tied up, bright blue eyes with an odd softness to it that Danika, in all the years she'd known him had never seen before, was Faolan, Danika's most beloved cousin.

#writeblr #original story #original writing #creative writing #writing wip #unbeta'd #The Curses We Inherit #The Curses We Inherit Ch 10

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soldouthaz · 3 years

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I really want to start writing fics because writing has always been a passion of mine, and what better way to use it than to write about and interact with a fandom i'm passionate about as well, right? the problem is that i'm a 'gifted kid' with both adhd and depression, which makes for both lack of motivation and lack of attention span, even if I'm mentally obsessing over what I'm working on, I'll have a lot of trouble actually doing it. (1/2)

On top of that, I tend to back away or give up completely if I don't have an immediate knack for something or if I hit a roadblock of sorts. Do you have any tips for me, and, more specifically, for how to explore your passions even when your brain chemistry is kicking your ass? (2/2)

hi!! what a good question!!! I've always struggled with some of this myself so I'll do my best to give some good advice below the cut!!!

- just a quick tw for anyone who may be sensitive to topics including depression or other similar mental health conditions! -

(i’ll talk about a few things regarding the adhd/depression and then I'll include some advice at the end for you!!! this got kind of long (sorry!) but if you read anything, make sure it’s the end!)

so this was something I struggled with big time for a while when I first started writing! I don’t have ADHD but I do have OCD, which is also quite the cocktail with depression so I feel your pain! i understand how frustrating it is because writing is very two sided in my experience, meaning on one hand it’s cathartic and eases anxiety, but on the other hand it can induce those negative feelings just as quickly as it got rid of them if you’re too overwhelmed while doing so.

depression is always the heavy hitter for me personally. I can have so many ideas and so much excitement for them and yet when I sit down to write everything seems so overwhelming that I end up backing out of it and leaving it for later for the millionth time. mine is mostly seasonal as well, so i go through periods of time (like these past few months) where i get very unmotivated and don’t write much at all. it’s an annoying cycle to then feel unproductive and know that you want to do it but you don’t do it but you feel like you should etc. etc..

the ADHD (or OCD in my case) seems to always be more of an environment issue for me. I really can only write more than a few sentences once I'm alone in the dead of night, when everyone else is asleep and I'm in control of my surroundings -- for example, the volume (music, fans, tv, etc), position (where I'm sitting, what’s around me), and being comfortable (comfy clothes, blankets, etc). I'm a big sensory person so if something’s even slightly brushing my arm in the wrong way, I can’t get into what I'm doing.

but i also understand what you mean strictly focus wise, when you’re trying to plan out your ideas and just keep jumping from one thing to another! (by the way i love that you mentioned when you're not good at something immediately you tend to give up - i do the same thing!) this is where i’ll try to give you some of the tips that helped me personally!

not too get too sappy, but to me the beauty of writing has always been that there is no right or wrong way to do it. the most difficult part of it is nailing down the fact that you should write for yourself and not simply to get hits or kudos or comments or anything. it should be fun and ultimately rewarding, and if it isn’t, don’t try to force yourself!

this is where the flip side of the adhd/depression + writing debate comes in -- finishing a piece of work can be one of the best feelings in the world, no matter how big or small or if other people enjoy it or not. because now you’ve got something that you can point to and say hey, i did that! i created this thing and put it into the world regardless of the challenges i might have encountered along the way or anyone else’s judgement! and that’s a wonderful feeling, especially if you’re like me when you feel lazy or unproductive half the time and the other half of you is constantly restless, full of energy with no other outlet for it.

so my advice to you would be to start small. it took me months to finish the first fic that i published because i split it up into portions and didn’t force myself if i truly didn’t want to write that day. to elaborate about ‘small’, there’s several different options!

before i got into fandom writing, poetry was the holy grail for me because it didn’t require much effort! i used my phone or the nearest notebook i had to just scribble down my feelings in just a few lines. it helped me feel better quickly just to get it off my chest, it wasn’t time consuming, and there was no planning required so it wasn’t overwhelming to me! poetry is fun to just play around with and you can kind of make up your own rules, so feel free to try that as a warm up or experiment as well!

but you mentioned specifically fics and fandom writing, so there are some options for that as well!

drabbles are a great idea as an intro to writing in my opinion! they’re wonderful practice for finding your ‘writing voice’ and learning which genres and topics you enjoy writing about before diving headfirst into a long fic! if you plan on publishing it, they’re also a great way to set the tone for readers of what your future works will be like! (another exercise similar to this is word prompts, where you choose a random word and just try to write and see what comes out!)

WIPs are fairly controversial, but who cares? if you’ve got something you want to write and you want to publish a chapter indefinitely throughout the year just when you feel like it, go for it! it’s still a creative outlet and it’s still you expressing yourself, which means it’s fully worth it.

that being said, my entire world changed after i started outlining. if you want to write a full fic to be published at once, the most helpful thing is to have a plan. it doesn’t have to be nailed down or perfect, but even just scribbling down some random scene ideas or plot points can help! from there, if you feel like it, you can go as detailed as you want and add things like goal word count, character bios, etc. until it begins to take the shape of a full story!

while keeping all of this in mind, i know i’m stressing it but it’s so important to remember that how you view this can be the change in how all of this pans out. writing for yourself is the goal here -- getting attached to hits or kudos or reblogs only provides temporary validation. it’s nice but it’s not going to give you that emotional payoff.

you mentioned that writing was a passion of yours and writing can be extremely cathartic, especially when you’re writing about an interest or something you love! no part of it should be extremely stressful or make you more anxious than when you started. i honestly can’t recommend it enough, even if you don’t share your first drafts or if you end up scrapping parts of it later on. no matter how long or short it is and no matter if it’s something you think people will read or not.

with depression and ADHD especially, writing is the perfect mix of pushing yourself and achieving goals without going too far, and it’s helped me in my own mental health journey immensely. (most of my works are just emotion-dumps where i use my characters and storylines to cope with whatever’s going on in my current life!) it’s a type of therapy in itself, and to be able to share it in a community of people that view it the same way is just an added bonus!

speaking more generally regarding your point about trying to enjoy your interests while also dealing with mental health conditions that limit your ability to do so, my go-to method is always just to take it as it comes, or break it down into easier sections to deal with. if i’m doing something and i’m aware of and actively trying to fight an OCD tic (or in your case ADHD behavior), it’s only going to make me more anxious. so my advice would be to take a break and do something comforting to calm down, then return to what you were doing before. we have to remember to be kind to ourselves, especially in this weird time!

conversely, with depression, i try to push myself just slightly. my brain usually wants to give up and shut down and sometimes that’s okay too, but it usually pays off for me if i bargain with myself to keep going or keep trying, like promising myself a nap or some relaxing time if i can finish x amount of whatever i’m working on, if that makes sense. a little bit can go a long way!

ahh sorry, this one kind of got away from me! i’m sorry it’s so lengthy but i hope some part of it resonated with you! the ask touched on a lot of different things so if you need me to clarify anything or elaborate or if you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me again! i also made a post about my writing process a while ago if that’s something you’d be interested in, and this post from the other day has some other tips on dealing with grief/anxiety that may also be helpful for your situation!

(also, I'd just like to point out that just from your ask alone I can tell you write really well! I would be very interested in reading something of yours in the future!)

I'm wishing you the best of luck with your first venture into writing and fics, and I'd be more than happy to help you in any way that I can! I can’t wait to see what all you do <33333

#ask #misc #about me #advice

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sockatine · 5 years

Text

The Scent of Lavender

((My first self insert fanfic to be posted here! I'll be using the name Califia "Cali" Morales for myself. Paired up with Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. Takes place in season 2.))

Light. Sunlight? Yes, that's sunlight. The room is white. Why is it white?

Voices are talking to her. Who are these voices? Obviously they must be her family; mom and dad, to be precise. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, yawning and stretching, still not completely awake or aware. Even as her eyes fully opened, she had to rub them again. These people's voices still washing over her like white noise, or nighttime ambiance.

Nothing was registering quite yet, until an old man sat at her bedside and asked, in a comforting and gentle tone. "Can you tell us your name?"

That's when it all hit her. With watering eyes, she asked: "Where am I?"

...

When they found this girl passed out in the woods, it was nothing short of strange. She'd fallen out of a tree at Rick's feet, startling him. He checked her pulse, shook her in attempt to wake her up, but nothing. She was still perfectly alive, minus perhaps starving and bruised. And he carried her back to the RV, deciding it was the right thing to do. After all, Rick himself had been in a coma and woken up to an apocalypse. This was a personal sense of sympathy in him.

Needless to say, after much argument, she was allowed to stay. They put her in the bed of the RV and hoped that at some point, she'd come to. Enter their arrival at Hershel's, having one kid shot and the other still missing, along with the mysterious coma-girl. This was enough to get Hershel to allow them all to stay until everything with the group was a-okay.

Now, that she had finally woken up, she'd have to be comforted a bit before getting any answers. It's not like anyone would take it very well when they find they've been in a coma in a tree for god knows how long. "I'm gonna ask you again, and I want you to take a deep breath or two before you answer; What is your name?"

She did take a few deep breaths, as needed. "Califia..."

"Califia?"

"Yes... Califia Morales."

"Alright, Miss. Now, I'm gonna call in the people that found you, so you can give them the answers they want. Is that okay with you?"

"... yes."

Really, it wasn't. None of this was okay, but she knew she needed to give answers to the people who potentially saved her life. The memories were flooding back to her once Hershel called in Rick and some others to meet her. Rick was of course, the one to ask questions and recieve answers.

"Do you remember what happened before you got yourself up in that tree?"

"... There was a crash. A bus crash. A-and I... I don't remember what happened after. I-I know my family wasn't with me, they... don't live in Georgia..."

"Alright. What else do you remember?"

"I... was by myself. Out by myself... dead people were walking a-and hunting me..."

"Uh-huh..."

"I killed some. I tried calling my parents a-and... and-and-"

A deep inhale, and a pause.

"... I kept walking. I lived off what was in my bag, and gathering wild plants. More dead people came and, I went up the tree... but I don't know why I was asleep... I don't..."

"Hey, hey. Don't worry about that. We'll... we'll get you settled. Once we leave, you'll be coming with us."

"I... thanks. Can I go outside now?"

"Yeah, yeah sure."

...

She was sitting by herself, gathering some lavender after a nice, long cry. It was a lot to take in, really. That she had no idea how her family in California was doing. And it would be easier for her to cope with having been all alone, than to realize she'd been completely useless to a group of people who were kind enough to save her. How long had she been dead weight? Was it ungrateful to believe she should've died.

"What's that 'cha got?"

She almost flinched, turning to see some guy looming over her. Must've been one of the group. "... Lavender."

"You always go 'round pickin flowers?"

"It's for tea... I'm sorry, have we met, or...?"

"I'm Daryl."

"Califia. But call me Cali. It's, uh... nice to meet you."

She stood up, holding her hand out for a handshake. Better than just awkwardly talking, crouching over a bush. Daryl shook it, to at least adding something to keep the conversation from getting too awkward. "So, we found you in a tree..."

"Uh, yeah. I... eheh. I guess I figured it was a good way to avoid walkers. They can't seem to climb for shit, really. So, uhm... is there l-like a job or something I should be getting to, or-"

"Hell if I know."

"O-oh. Well, if you need anything... like, anything at all, I'm right here..."

"Right..."

Daryl left ger to her business.

"Oh, uh... it was nice meeting you!" She added. He didn't respond.

Daryl hadn't much of an opinion on her. She seemed nice enough, but frankly he hadn't any idea how good or bad of an addition she'd be. And frankly, nothing she did or said was anything remarkable, noteworthy, or eyecatching. Cali, as she insisted on being called, was short, pudgy, baby faced, and from every other angle Daryl could see, she looked like walker bait. At least she was smart enough to get in a tall place to avoid them, but perhaps she might not be much for fighting back or wilderness survival.

Nonetheless, he'd be willing to see if she could prove herself. It's not like she's useless.

A few days went by, and Daryl noticed a pattern. When given chores by the other members of the group, Cali would attend to them quietly without ever wanting help. Her voice was always soft and meek when she asked for anything, which was rare in itself. Without fail, around dusk, Cali was always sitting at the lavender bush. Either to pick more, or to sit with a notebook. A diary? And she was drinking that tea she said the lavender was for at night, but also in certain times in the afternoon.

Lavender tea was for sleep, and calming nerves. Daryl knew this because of his mom's old remedies she'd use, when he was just a kid.

So far, he'd deducted that Cali was dead meat if she were to go out on her own. She could make it for a certain amount of time, but her nerves would get the best of her and make her clumsy. Ergo, she's walker bait.

...

It was getting lonely, for Cali. She fancied being alone, but not being lonely. But she was tragically insecure; unwilling to talk about her interests with the other ladies, unable to even approach any of the men. The closest she could get was watching Carl when Lori wasn't, and neither one of them actually talked much to her. So logically, Cali wanted some validation out of being useful.

To be frank, the only person Cali really considered approaching and making friends with was Daryl. He also seemed to be partial to being alone, after all. But it's not like he would ever want to activately be friends with her anyway, right? Cali wrote and drew, she was into books and fantasy and mythology. She was a nerd. A total geek. And what was Daryl? Manly as hell, outdoorsy, and a goddamn hunter.

That didn't change the fact though, that when Daryl finally came back with Sophia's doll, Cali was most certainly concerned. She could see him from her lavender bush, he looked absolutely terrible. And it didn't help that Andrea shot him, to which Cali promptly responded with a "What the fuck!?" of disbelief.

As everyone rushed over to help, Cali wasn't really needed. She asked, but Rick told her that all too familiar phrase: "We got this, thanks." But no, she didn't want to be excluded. She wanted to at least do something. To overtly express that she wanted to help and be part of the group; but so far it had all gone from her being too afraid to talk to anyone, to everyone excluding her by assuming she didn't care for anyone.

So Cali decided to do something about it. At least one thing. One nice thing for someone.

So she visited Daryl, inside Hershel's house. With a small gift. Some lavender, with a paper wrapped around it. While he was asleep, she slipped it onto the nightstand.

...

"Hey, Cali!"

She was at the lavender bush again, with her notebook, whipping around to see Daryl holding her gift. "Y-yeah?"

"... you wrote this? Daryl unfolded the paper. It was a poem:

You carry us far Through all your scars Of old and new, Through sun and stars

Take your rest Feel happiness For it's worthwhile to us all

"... Is it bad?"

Daryl sighed in disbelief, taking a seat next to her. "Nah, that ain't it..."

"I didn't mean to bother you, I just wanted to get you a get well-"

"Why though?" "Huh?"

"You're always sitting out here. You got you're notebook, your head in the clouds. Ya don't talk to nobody-"

"I'm sorry."

"-and you apologize for it. What the hell do you do out here?"

She paused, stuck between just dying on the spot or coughing up the notebook. "I... draw. And I write." She handed the notebook to him, so he could go through it himself.

In it were various practice sketches, poems, characters, and unfinished stories. It was a chaotic mess of creation, full of concepts and ideas that may never be fully fleshed out. "It's just weird nerdy stuff... I-I really like mythology, and uh... comics..."

"... This is what you were hiding all this time?" "Yeah..."

Daryl closed the notebook, handing it back to Cali.

"... What use you think any of that has, anyway?"

"I... wait, what do you mean?"

"I mean now that dead people are walking around eating people. How's any of that gonna help?"

Cali paused, thinking for a moment. Not necessarily on what to answer, but rather how to word the answer out. Such a question wasn't one that confused her very much.

"... Well, we got survival down. If we're hungry, we can pick plants and kill animals. If we're tired, we can make a shelter that's safe. But... what's the point of it all?"

"... That doesn't answer my question."

She gave him a look. For once, it was a more assertive look; like what she was about to say was something painfully obvious. Like he should have known, by now. "Animals survive. Humans live. And what's the point of surviving if you can't live?" She tapped her notebook. "This here is... how I live."

Cali opened up the notebook, flipping to a page in which she was drawing a kraken. "So that's why I'm always here with my notebook. It's quiet so I can focus, and it smells nice with the lavender here. So there."

The conversation ended there, and she expected Daryl to once again take his leave. But, he didn't. He was still sitting there, watching her doodle away. Her drawing wasn't particularly amazing, but... it was okay. He could tell she wasn't actually paying him much mind. Just, focused on her work. But Cali knew he was there, watching. She just had yet to realize she was fine with it.

And they just kind of stayed like that for a while. Sitting in silence at the lavender bush.

((Special thanks to @kiksselfships for encouraging me most to embrace my self insertion, and @skollwriting for giving me the match up that inspired this new ship))

#self insert #self ship #twd #twd daryl #daryl dixon #fanfic #self indulgent stuff

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gamegrumpiess · 6 years

Text

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.

#danny sexbang #game grumps #dan avidan x reader #dan x reader #dan avidan

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 7 years

Note

KIND OF URGENT I suffered from some really bad head trauma a year ago and I'm still recovering but my parents are trying to tell me I should stop "trying to be trans" because it's too straining and that I could never do it with my condition. Haha, it doesn't help that I have a stutter because of the injury so they cut me off before I can even get my sentence out. But anyways, I was wondering if anyone had tips on how I could convince them I'll be fine and/or deal with their denial

Lee says:

I’m sorry they didn’t accept you. You could try writing them a letter about how you feel and seeing if that helps as well. Non-verbal communication is the way to go if you aren’t able to effectively have a conversation out loud with them, so sending them emails, texts, or writing physical letters or notes can help you be able to express everything you want to without being cut off.

One thing they may not understand is that it is more straining to have to hide who you are and suffer from dysphoria and be in the closet than to be yourself, because being yourself and being able to transition usually makes you happier and improves your mental health, and when your mental health is better, it’s easier for you to cope with other things.

Disabled people are able to transition too! I met someone at an LGBT conference once who had a traumatic brain injury so they needed the lights off during the presentation, and they were still able to come out, have people use their pronouns and name, change their clothing to what they’re comfortable wearing, etc. I’m Autistic and I have ADHD and several mental illnesses, and I’m on testosterone and I have a top surgery consultation scheduled for the end of the month. Many of our mods are disabled, and there’s a big trans spoonie community out there, and our being disabled doesn’t mean we can’t have the autonomy to choose for ourselves whether transition is the right choice for us.

They may say it’s just a phase, but you know that isn’t true, so even if they say it, try to remember that you know yourself better than anyone else because they aren’t in your head, so they aren’t more knowledgeable about how you’re feeling than you are. Writing down self-validating statements in a notebook and talking to people who will support your transition, whether it’s online or IRL friends can be helpful.

If you recently came out, their initial reaction may not be their permanent feelings on this. From your point of view, you just told them something that you’ve known for a while, something you always were, something that you probably had to grapple to come to terms with at some point before it became a part of your self-perception. From their perception, something they always thought was true has changed. All this time they’ve seen you as one thing, and now you’re saying that you never were that thing. It’s a big shift to take in, and a lot of the time parents aren’t prepared for it and they don’t know how to react so they try to deny that it’s real. But over time, they can grow to accept you, even if they didn’t initially. If they see you identifying as trans year after year, then it becomes harder to deny (Although some motivated and transphobic parents may still try to). If they don’t know anything or much about the trans community, they could look at our For Allies page (I like PFLAG’s guide to being a trans ally but it’s long!)

My parents started out being unaccepting. They said some awful things to me then, but three years later they’re willing to pay for my top surgery. People can grow. But it’ll take time. It might take months, even a year or longer until they’re fully on board. In that time, you need to take care of yourself. Their rejection hurts, but it isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to feel bad just because they don’t understand you yet. Make sure you take some space when you need it, talk to people who will support you, and do things to make you feel better. Even if they never do come around, your life isn’t over, and you will eventually be able to transition without their support.

Getting a therapist can be useful in helping persuade your parents to let your transition, if they’re trans-friendly and on your side. You don’t have to tell your parents that you want therapy because of any trans-related thing if you think they wouldn’t accept that reason. This post has more info on finding a therapist. You could try googling “LGBT friendly therapist [your town/region]” or “affordable therapy [your town/region].” You most likely need your parents’ consent to see a therapist, but that depends on your age and the laws where you live. Here’s a website with information about that. Your therapist can have family sessions where they talk with you and your parents and try to work something out.

The best advice I have is communication. If you express how you feel to them, and how dysphoria makes you feel, and the steps you want to take to transition, and how they’re potentially reversible or permanent but not harmful, and that you’ve felt you’re trans for so long, etc, you can at least know you’ve done everything you can to try to tell them that transitioning is the best choice for you and you’ll be able to manage it with their help and support. Try showing them Disabled people who have transitioned if they don’t think it’s possible to transition if you aren’t fully abled.

You should also present it in very concrete steps. Okay, so maybe they don’t want to hear about the whole trans label thing. But you’re only asking to get 3 girls shirts, or 3 boys shirts. Can’t they let you do just that because it’ll make you happy and you could always just stop wearing them if you needed to? Or you just want to be able to bind sometimes, or paint your nails, whatever the case may be. Choose one thing, and stick to it. When you’ve convinced them of that one thing, give it a few days in which you show gratitude and express how it makes you happy, then pick your next thing.

What if someone is not supportive after I come out?

Help, someone wasn’t supportive/won’t call my by my name/pronouns

How to deal with parents that are not accepting

Parents who won’t use name/pronouns

Reminding friends to use your pronouns

Transgender Advice: Dealing with Unsupportive Parents

Ally Moms

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children

Rejected by your parents? You are not alone. (Leelah Alcorn suicide mention)

How to help someone who forgets your pronouns

Scientific evidence about gender/sexuality stuff

Reasons why they/them pronouns are okay to use

Mental Health/Crisis Resources

Our dysphoria page

Followers, any advice?

#Lee says #caps #parents m #injury m #unsupportive family #Unsupportive family #anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

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