#if y'all want a trigger warning tag for this stuff please let me know?

[sideblogforweirdshit]

Whump Reference Post for Fingernail Removal Torture

 Hi whump writers of Tumblr! I recently made a little introduction post in which I said I’d be making reference posts. This is one I already had typed up, because for some reason this was the first thing I thought of.

There are no images attached, but I’m putting the rest of the post under a readmore since the majority of the content is semi-graphic written description of the how-to’s and wherefore’s and such of fingernail removal torture.

To be clear: I will be going into as much depth as I possibly can without using images. The content of this post will be purely academic. There will be no artistic liberties taken. This post is meant to be as accurate to (and descriptive of) a real-life situation as possible.

I hope some part of this post eventually winds up being a helpful resource for someone!

1) Not as painful as it’s made out to be

-It's painful, but definitely not to the extent it’s shown in movies or whatnot. A lot of the "pain" comes from the shock factor of seeing your body without something it’s always had, as well as the inherent "wrongness" that comes with experiencing a part of your body being removed.

2) There is very very thin film of skin between the fingernail and the finger.

-If one is careful in removing the fingernail by peeling it back slowly, one can preserve this thin piece of skin. -If one pulls the fingernail back quickly and without taking care, this thin film will rip, and the nail will pull away with bits of flesh attached.

3) The flesh under the nail will be vertically striated.

-If one uses the peel-back method, and is careful to not let the thin film of skin between the nail and the flesh rip, the skin/flesh underneath the nail will be as visibly striated as the fingernail itself. If you look closely at your fingernail right now, you’ll see that there are many tiny grooves from the tip of your nail to the base. This is true for all human fingernails. If the nail is peeled back with sufficient care, those striations will be echoed on the skin underneath the nail.

4) The  “peel entirely off” method versus the  "peel back and then stop" method versus the "pull out entirely" method.

-The “peel entirely off” method is how I will refer to the method of grasping firmly the tip of the fingernail in some sort of vice (usually pliers) and then peeling it backwards, moving the pliers from the nail at the tip of the finger towards the hand itself. Using this method, the nail will remain firmly grasped in the pliers the entire time. The movement of the pliers only stops when the base of the nail is ripped entirely out of the finger. This will necessarily result in ripping out a fair bit of skin past the cuticles, as the technical base of the nail (aka “nail matrix”) is generally around half a centimeter hand-wards past the cuticles (and follows the curve of the nail, so is deeper than the cuticles as well). Due to the nature of skin, I would expect a tear reminiscent of an extremely deep hangnail that goes from the base of the cuticles to at least halfway between the first and second knuckle (and at most goes to the second knuckle). In this case, it is not guaranteed that the nail will grow back. There is a chance it’ll come back, but there is also a chance that the nail matrix is permanently damaged and will not be able to grow a new nail. Since every human is different, there’s not an exact science to determining where a person’s nail matrix is before it’s ripped out. A (very) general rule of thumb is to follow the curve of the existing fingernail, and draw a point on that curve before it hits bone. Obviously, this is extremely subjective.

-The “peel back and then stop” method is how I will refer to what is essentially the previous method, but one stops before the nail-ripping goes past the cuticle and snips off the peeled part, leaving a milimeter or so of fingernail existing on the nailbed. In this case, it is assured that the nail matrix is undisturbed, and the fingernail will grow back. This is the method I will assume is taken for the future steps

-The “pull out entirely” method is how I will refer to the situation where one grasps the protruding part of the nail firmly, and applies force away from the hand and in the direction the finger points. In this case, there’s a large chance that the nail will rip. This depends largely on the care taken with the pulling object (pliers, usually) to grab the nail exactly parallel with the sides of the pliers. If any part of the pliers digs into the nail at a singular location, this will create a point at which pressure will build up, and the nail will likely rip at this location. The strength of the individual’s nails also affects the ripping. The individual’s nail strength can vary based on nourishment as well as on a general person-to-person basis. Personally, I do not recommend this method.

-If one wants to make the removal definitely permanent, there’s the possibility of peeling it back all the way down and out, and then chemically burning where one assumes the nail matrix is. (Some serious irl hikers do this to their toenails on purpose, to reduce the chances of getting ingrown toenails from being laced into hiking boots for days on end.) Removing the nail permanently will obviously reduce the opportunity to peel it off again, but will give a permanent Horrific Aspect to the victim.

5) For the first three days, the exposed flesh will be painful.

-The entire tip of the finger will be a constant deep and throbbing pain. Any deviation from this norm will be an increase in pain, never a decrease (save medication or an ice-bath-for-full-minutes immersion to the point of numbness).

-Any contact with the exposed nailbed will increase the pain. Knocking the exposed flesh against anything, even extremely gently, will result in a visible bright red welt under the thin layer of skin (bright red on light skin only! on darker skin, the welt will still be visible, but will show as a dark red-brown). It is a visual similar to an extremely tiny, non-protruding blood blister. Knocking the nailbed against something less gently will result in fully scraping off that delicate outer layer of skin.

-Using the finger for anything will be painful (though not unbearably so), and it may even be painful to bend the finger at all.

-Any moisture on the exposed flesh (including anything from regular water to antibiotic ointment) will hurt a lot. This will intensify the throbbing at least twofold across the entire nailbed, and will also result in an amount of stinging as if one had just realized one had been stung by a bee.

6) For treatment and healing thereof (if quick healing is desired)

For those first three days, any bandaid application is inadvisable -The exposed flesh will be so tender and vulnerable that any bandaid (even the non-stick kind) will stick to the exposed flesh and rip it upon removal. I can only assume this is in part due to the curvature of the finger, which means that any wrapping-around type bandaid will inherently put pressure on the nailbed, resulting in sticking.

-To promote healing, the first three days should be without any sort of covering on the wound.

After the first three days, a scab will form. -At this point, the pain will be much less. it might be uncomfortable to bump the nailbed into objects, but it will not be the same pain as in the first three days.

-The wound will also be much less sensitive to moisture.

-When the scab starts to crack (usually a vertical crack), one should apply antibiotic ointment and a bandaid. At this point in the proess, it is desired for the scab to remain as consistently moist as possibly. This will help the scab fall off when it is ready to do so.

-At this point, the finger can be used normally (within reason) without much (if any) pain.

After two or three days with the bandaid covering, the scab will start to fall off.

-One may expedite this process if one is careful.

-At this point, the skin on the nailbed is sensitive to the touch, but not to the point of pain.

-There will be some dry, loose skin around the edges of the nailbed.

-The previously visible striation will no longer be there.

-Pressure on the exposed nailbed will not be necessarily painful, but it will feel decidedly Odd. Though not painful, It will be an extremely sensitive area.

-The nailbed will be a delicate pinkish color.

Around a week after the initial scab falls off, there will appear to be another scab. It will be a relatively thin layer of dry, dead skin.

-If the nail is allowed to grow normally, it is likely that it will cover this second scab before it has the chance to fall off.

-If the stub of the fingernail is trimmed routinely, it is possible for the scab to fall off, leaving only relatively smooth unblemished skin where the nailbed is. This skin will be roughly the same color and texture as the skin on the tip of the finger. 

7) The rate at which fingernails grow back is extremely slow

-The average growth rate is about 3.5 milimeters per month. There are several factors that can cause this to vary:

-Fingernails on the dominant hand grow back faster than the nails on the non-dominant hand.

-Fingernails grow back faster than toenails.

-Nails grow back faster in warm weather than in cold weather.

-Depending on the nail and the aforementioned conditions, one can expect a total regrowth time of anywhere from three to six months (or more).

8) Life Without Fingernails

-Fingernails affect a large part of our everyday lives. We mostly use them when we’re manipulating objects with our hands, and we use them to scratch. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s a lot. It’s hard to explain just how weird it is to not have fingernails to someone who’s never experienced it, but here goes:

-Fingernails are the Hard Backs used to brace our fingers against a hard shell when we manipulate something with our hands. If you pinch your fingers together right now, you’ll see a white band along the top of your fingernail. This is where the pressure from the pinching goes; it’s braced against your nail.

-Picking something up without fingernails feels extremely odd the first few hundred times you do it. It takes a long time to get used to it.

-Writing is even worse. Without the hard shell backing your fingers, the pencil tends to slip out of your grip more often. If you usually have long enough fingernails that you balance your pen/pencil on them, you’re extremely likely to have the pencil completely slip out of your grip multiple times a sentence.

-You don’t realize how much you unconsciously scratch itchy parts of your body until you no longer have the ability to do so. If you’re only missing a few nails, you have to consciously adjust your hand so that you can scratch with the existing ones. If you’re missing all of them, you have to actively find an external object to alleviate the itch.

Some places on the body one can scratch with their teeth, but for most places, one needs to either find an “itch stick,” or rub that part of their body on something scratchy. A lot of clothing is scratchy enough to work for this. One needs to learn how to vary the pressure so that one can alleviate the itch without tearing through the skin or scratching themselves.

Pros:

-Body horror

Fingernail removal is a more mentally significant mutilation than cuts or burns, if only because it draws on the "that was there and now it's not" aspect of body horror.

-Can be inflicted more than once

Since fingernails grow back, they can be removed again and again and again. Though it may take some time for the nails to regrow, it isn't even close to the type of permanent that’s chopping off a finger or a toe.

-Helplessness

Since it takes a few days for the nailbeds to heal enough to be able to use one's fingers, a complete removal of all fingernails will take away one's ability to use their hands. Even after this initial period of extreme sensitivity, the lack of fingernails is something most people aren’t prepared for. The previous section explaining how fingernails affect daily life is significant here.

 Cons:

-Can’t repeat often.

Once a fingernail is off, it's not coming back for at least three months (likely longer). It doesn't have the relatively quick reset time that burns or cuts do.

-Relatively short amount of time in pain

All of the pain is in the first few days. It is inconvenient afterwards, but there is little to no pain at this time.

-Amount of care needed

One needs to be relatively careful inflicting this. Fingernails are not as resilient as you'd think, and the likelihood of them ripping before you can finish ripping them off is fairly large if you're not being careful.

If you have a short-tempered or impatient whumper, this might not be their particular wheelhouse.

 Conclusion

Overall, I’d say that the effectiveness depends entirely on the desired result. The time it takes for the fingernails to regrow versus the amount of time in which the subject is in pain is not a very productive ratio, so if you’d want your whumper doing a particular torture regularly, I wouldn’t recommend this.

However, if the whumper’s goal is to appeal to the body horror aspect without permanent damage, this is a great option. The fact that it takes nails so long to regrow gives the victim a sense of horrified freakishness. It also has the added benefit of reducing the victim’s maneuverability far after the fact.

The semi-visible nature of this method of torture can be effective if one wishes to horrify characters outside the whumper/whumpee relationship. You don’t immediately look at other people’s hands when you meet them, and as such it might take a while for outside characters to notice the lack of fingernails (especially if they’re past the three day mark). But once they notice, it will be hard to look away.

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #whump community #whump reference post #this is the post i already had typed up i hope it passes muster #i tried to be as exhaustive as possibly because i KNOW there's so many details one needs when writing a thing #investigative journalism but with injuries that's us here at sbfws #ummm i don't know what to tag this #if y'all want a trigger warning tag for this stuff please let me know? #or if y'all want to be added to a tag list also please let me know?? #also also please feel free to make specific post requests if y'all want? #i don't know how timely my responses to them will be but i will FOR SURE try to get to them as soon as i can #just like #if you're a whump writer who fuckin hates having to do research into different types of injuries hit me up! #(especially the weird injuries) #(fingernails are all fine and good but i thrive on the Weird Stuff There's Barely Any Research On you know) #(I really like researching weird niche stuff) #(you'll be doing me a favor if you give me something Decidedly Odd to fixate on) #nail gore #nail whump #hand whump

[rayslittlekitten]

Can I?

A/N: Okay y'all. It's here, it's done. Y'all voted on this a while back and it was a bit challenging as I made the mistake of starting to write it with Will in mind so I had to make adjustments, but I think I figured it out. Thank you so so much to @musings-of-a-rose for taking a look at this for me. You are a doll!

Rating: E (18+ ONLY)

Word Count: 6,033

Pairing: Benny Miller x BFF! F! Reader

Plot: A night of unexpected events occur when you and your best friend innocently test out sex toys you had drunkenly purchased for shits and giggles.

WARNINGS: This is the first fic I am NOT including warning tags because I don't want to spoil anything. There's nothing typically potentially triggering like dark stuff (i.e. CNC) but still I wanted to keep it a mystery going in. SO PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Your friends were supposed to watch the fight with you tonight but they had bailed with some excuse or two except for your best friend. You thought that his brother would at least still be joining as they usually do everything together - like you wouldn’t be surprised if you found out they hold each other’s dicks while the other pisses - but it’s just going to be you and him tonight. Instead of going to the bar like originally planned, you both decided to pick up a case of beer and hang out at your place. It’s cheaper and less crowded. 

There’s a rap at your apartment door and you go to open it. As expected, it's your best friend with the supply.

“Hey, Benny! Just in time!”

"Hey, you got a package," Benny says as he hands you the beer. He bends down to pick up the small brown box off the floor by your door. "What did you order?"

"I have no idea what that is," you reply as you make your way over to the kitchen to stick it in the fridge. "I don't remember ordering anything. Where does it say it's from?"

"The return address just says Warehouse, in Ohio," he replies, inspecting the non-descript package and following you further into your apartment after shutting the door behind him.

He hands you the cardboard box before taking his jacket off and making himself at home. You rip open the package and after seeing the contents, you laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asks, walking closer to you.

"This was a drunk purchase. I totally forgot about these!" You reach in to pull out the items and show him your new purchases.

"What are those?" He looks perplexed.

“This one is a vibrator I keep seeing on Instagram, but it's supposed to be like, amazing," you answer.

"How the hell are you supposed to use that?" He takes one of the packages from you and inspects it, looking at the pictures on the box.

"Well, one way you can use it is you insert this side into your pussy and this part is supposed to sit on your clit," you point and explain to him. "It also comes with a detached remote so someone else can control it.

"I don't know if that's a terrible time or a great time."

"The vibration is supposed to be very powerful but quiet," you add. "Supposed to be discreet. They try to sell it by showing women supposedly wearing it in public under their clothes without anyone apparently knowing and their partner has control of it and she's like losing her shit."

"I'm curious now."

"For science!" You declare as you snatch the package from him. You start opening it up and pull the contents out. "Shit, it needs AAA batteries. TV remote!"

You head to the living room and he follows you. You take the batteries out of your TV remote and shove them into the new toy. After turning it on, it buzzes lightly in your hand, moving subtly.

"Let's see how crazy it can get." You start playing with the buttons until it goes up to the highest setting and Ben's eyes get wide as saucers watching it flop around in your palm, practically jumping out of your hand.

"Jesus Christ!" Benny hops back.

"Yeah, now imagine that between your legs."

"I'm not sure I want to. Looks like it would scramble all the sperm inside my balls. Besides, I don't think it was made for my body parts," he points out.

"You just don’t have an imagination," you jab. "Hmm, should we test drive it?" you suggest as you shut it off.

“What do you mean?" he asks curiously.

"See if the hype is real," you answer. "Especially that other one." You point to the other toy that's still in its package.

"That one's supposed to feel like your clit is actually getting sucked on."

"I didn't even know such toys exist," he confesses. 

"There are soooo many sex toys out there, you don't even know. Why don't you go get us some cold ones while I figure these out?" you suggest.

"You really wanna do this?” He checks again.

"Yeah, why not? It's not like we have anything else better to do except watch two grown men beat each other up," you state. “Come on, this isn’t any different than the time we accidentally found Will’s porn stash and you got a boner.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t jerk off.”

“You totally did. Not in front of me, but you were not discreet when you snuck off to the bathroom with one of his magazines to ‘take a shit’,” you look at him knowingly.

“Okay, fine,” he shrugs and adjusts his forward-facing cap. “You have a point.” He heads back into the kitchen to grab some beer.

When he comes back with two opened bottles in hand, he finds you reading the manual and reviewing the other toy.

"So how exactly are we testing these?" he asks, settling down next to you on the couch and taking a gulp of his beer.

"Well, I'm not gonna stick it down my pants if that's what you're thinking. Would that be too weird?” You scrunch your nose while looking over at your best friend who looks just as clueless.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking. It ain't going down my pants. No amount of alcohol is gonna get that to happen."

"Okay, I didn't think this through. I mean, I guess we can just test it on our arms or something," you shrug cluelessly, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind and then going back to the manual.

"How would that work?" Benny asks as he takes the remote sitting next to him, inspecting it.

As you begin to answer, he starts randomly pressing buttons and you shriek, jumping in your seat. Benny also jumps back, spilling some of his beer as he reacts to your sudden outburst.

"What the hell?!" He looks over to you.

You instantly reach for the vibrator that happened to be sitting between your legs, snug against the front of your pants and toss it at him. Benny tries to dodge it like it's a dead cockroach, but it lands on his lap and he immediately launches himself off the couch. The vibrator continues to bounce around the cushion of the couch until Benny finally shuts it off.

"What the hell was that, man?" Benny looks over at you.

"It was between my legs when you turned it on, you ass!"

“Well, what the hell was it doing there? You said you weren't gonna test it that way."

"I wasn't! It just happened to be there while I was reading on how to operate the other one. Why'd you turn it on?" You shoot back.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" He shouts. "This shit is like rocket science! How do you women even use these things?"

"Men use them too," you correct him. 

“Well, clearly I never have," he admits and returns to his seat, flicking the vibrator towards you to make room for himself.

"You're such a prude. It's not like I was wearing it," you say, grabbing it away from him.

"I'm not a prude! You freaked out so I freaked out." He takes another gulp of his beer.

"Whatever," you mumble, still feeling a bit flustered and embarrassed by what had happened. You turn your attention back to the other toy. 

"Wait, you've never used any sex toys before?" you shift your attention back to him.

"Nope," he shakes his head.

"Not even with a partner?" You raise a brow.

"Well, one time this girl wanted to make things interesting and suggested a dildo, but it wasn't for her," he starts. "She wanted to stick that up my ass and I was not about that. Especially not after what I had for lunch that day."

"Aww, no peggy for Benny?" you exaggerate a pout.

"Hey, you should think twice about who you're poking fun of.” He shows you the remote in his hand and turns it back on, spooking you when the vibrator goes off between you and Benny.

"Okay, you're having too much fun with that." You reach over to grab the remote from him but he moves it away from your reach. 

You lean in further, but his long arm prevents you from getting access to it. At this point, you’re practically climbing on top of him. 

“You’re right. This is fun,” he laughs.

When you get close, he transfers the remote to his other hand so you shift yourself but lose your balance, landing back on the still-on vibrator. You shriek and Benny laughs at you. He turns the setting to the highest as you try to get away from it in your awkward position.

"Benny! You can't just go from 1 to 100 instant—" You finally roll off of it and give yourself a moment. With your eyes closed and teeth digging hard into your lower plump lip, you try to get yourself together.

“Are- are you okay?” Benny asks as his laugh dwindles. “Did you have an orgasm or something?” he jokes.

“No…” you start. “But maybe I almost did - maybe!”

His laugh finally dies, but a smirk remains on his face.

“Seriously?!” His eyes grow wide, turning his body towards you.

“That toy is no joke,” you point to it still wriggling on the couch. “And now I really wanna know what it can do.”

Benny shuts it off and his eyes shuttle between the toy and you.

“Uh… like, now?” He questions.

You stare at him for a few seconds, contemplating. 

“That would be weird, right?” You ask with a squinted eye. “Never mind, forget it—”

“Have at it,” Benny interrupts. “Now I wanna see what this thing can do, too.”

“Really?” You ask with a raised brow, surprised.

“Yeah, like you said, what else is there to do? For science!” He brings up his beer bottle to celebrate it.

“Dork,” you chuckle, snatching the toy.

“Also, maybe I can learn a thing or two from it,” he replies. “Not that I need any help in that department, but I’m always open to learning new things,” he adds.

You roll your eyes.

“Hey, I’m a fighter and a lover. And I’m great at both,” he winks. 

“Are you done stroking your own ego?” You look at him, unimpressed.

“I’m sorry. Yes, you can go on to stroke yourself,” he answers, trying to keep a straight face but ends up cracking a smirk.

“You’re so dumb,” you roll your eyes again and try not to crack your own.

“But I gotta be the one in control.” He holds up the remote in his hand.

“Benny-“

“I may never have the opportunity to ever do this again,” he says. “Besides, isn’t it what makes this fun? Someone else controlling it?”

You stare back at him and think about it.

“Okay, fine, but-“ you point a finger at him.

“I promise I won’t go from zero to 100, okay? Scout’s honor.” Benny brings his three middle fingers up.

“You weren’t a boy scout,” you point out.

“Fuck you. I was one for like a month,” he corrects you. “So are we doing this or what?”

“Turn around,” you tell him.

“What? I can’t watch?”

“Not watch me put this on. Turn around,” you repeat.

He rolls his eyes and turns his whole body around so the back of his head is facing you. You keep an eye on him as you wrangle your jeans and slip the toy inside you until it fits snug. Benny takes a sip of his beer as he waits patiently. He hears you fumbling around and finally you tell him he can turn back around.

He turns to face you and he looks confused.

“What?” You ask him.

“You have it on? Under your jeans?”

“Yes. I wasn’t gonna let it all hang out willy-nilly,” you tell him. “If you don’t believe me, turn it—“

Before you can finish your sentence, Benny flips the switch and you seize up. He can’t hear it, but your reaction confirms you have it in. He watches you as you stay still and quiet for a few moments.

“Can I up the speed?” He asks.

“Is this the lowest setting?” You calmly shoot back.

“Uh, yeah I think so.” He looks down at the remote to see if there’s any indication.

“Okay, go up one notch. One!” You glare at him.

“Okay, here we go.” He turns it up and you twitch.

You start shifting around in your seat until you feel the vibrator is in optimal position.

“How many speeds does this thing have again?” You ask out loud, reaching for the instruction manual and scanning it. “TEN?”

“Well, here’s number three,” Benny says as he ups the speed.

“Ben— ohhhhh…” Your scolding got cut short when the vibrator starts to really hit the right spots. 

The tip of the dildo part tickles your g-spot as the outer part flickers over your clit. You close your eyes and bite your lower lip, trying to concentrate and keep your composure.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you mumble.

“Uh… how are you doing?” He asks, not sure what else to do.

“I’m… “ you freeze up for a quick second and then relax, letting out a heavy breath. “Jeeeesus,” you hiss.

Benny remains quiet as he watches you slightly gyrate against the couch. You close your legs together and cross your knees, trying to recalibrate yourself for the ideal position. He notices your breathing has gotten heavier.

“Higher?” He asks quietly, afraid to interrupt your flow.

“I’m already slipping all around,” you answer without opening your eyes, almost forgetting you aren’t alone.

“That’s not a no…” he points out.

Your teeth digs even deeper into your lower lip as you contemplate whether you want to chase your impending orgasm or not. You hate that at the current setting, it’s only enough to edge you and need a bit more to get you over the top. 

“Okay,” you finally say. “Do it.”

Benny takes it to number four and you yelp instantly.

"Oh my god," you start giggling. "This is fucking crazy!"

Your thighs tightly clamp together and your back arches off the couch. You throw your head back as your jaw drops open, letting out a silent scream. Your hips rock against the vibrator, trying to get to the finish line.

"I'm not gonna lie. This is getting me hard."

You open your eyes and glance over at him to see him palming the front of his jeans and rubbing himself through the denim as he watches you trying not to lose your shit.

“How close are you?" he asks.

You feel your face get really warm all of a sudden. His baby blues pierce your eyes and you're suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you already are, like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't be doing, but at the same time, it’s kinda hot seeing Benny turned on watching you to the point where he’s quasi-touching himself. Noticing your state of shock, he amps up the vibration and you let out an uncontrolled moan.

"Oh, fuck!“

Your hips buck off the couch as your orgasm comes crashing down on you. You continue to moan as you ride the wave and try to catch the next one, grinding down on the couch. You don’t even care how silly you might look to Ben right now. All your focus is what’s going on between your legs. Suddenly the vibrator gets stronger again.

“Ben, stop! It’s too much!” You shriek.

You’re relieved when the torture stops, but it also feels odd as you feel the residual buzzing between your legs.

“So… how was it?” Benny breaks the silence. “Was it all your hopes and dreams?”

You take a moment to yourself to process the experience before answering.

“This shit is… I don’t think I ever want to experience the highest setting on this thing,” you tell him. “This thing is like a torture device. It feels like I pissed myself.”

You turn to look at him as you catch your breath and you’re reminded that Benny’s having his own fun with this, bringing you back down to earth. He scoots a bit closer to you with his hand still over his crotch. This new tension is clearly mutually felt as you both stare at each other, waiting for the other person to say or do something first. Your eyes ping pong between his face and his crotch, which he is still lazily rubbing.

“So uh… what now?” Benny asks, licking his lips. “Round two?” he brings up the remote still in his hand.

“N-no! No, no! Don’t you dare-“ you reach for the remote again, but he pulls it back behind him.

You chase after it, lunging towards him and end up getting right in his face.

“Benny!” You try again, but pause when you catch him staring at you, his face no more than a few inches away from yours. 

It may be the post-orgasm bliss or the awkward position you both found yourselves in, but you’ve never noticed how easy on the eyes your best friend is. He swallows hard as his eyes scan your face.

“Can… can I kiss you?"  he asks suddenly, leaning in and nudging your nose with his, testing the boundaries.

You lick your dry lips and swallow as you glance down at his mouth, seeing it slowly closing the distance. He ghosts his lips over yours, stopping short of actually putting it on yours, waiting for your permission. You answer his question by closing the gap, slotting your mouth over his.

He kisses back, gently at first, matching your energy. When you slip your tongue into his mouth, he cups your face and returns the gesture. You’re both now devouring each other as he turns his body towards you to get into a more comfortable position, adjusting himself to accommodate the bulge in his jeans.

You both continue to make out with more urgency. Benny’s hands start cautiously exploring your body, placing a hand on your waist at first. It wanders down to your hip and he gives it a squeeze. Your own hands start roaming Benny’s body, touching his hard chest first. His warmth is welcoming, making you twist your body and lean into him. Feeling bold, Benny’s hand wanders to your thigh, his fingers brushing the inside, but far from your wet patch. 

“Can I touch you down there?” He mumbles between kisses while moving his mouth to the side of your face and down your neck.

“Wha-“ You let out a loud sigh when you feel his soft wet tongue on the side of your neck, shivering when he grazes a sensitive spot.

“Can I touch you down there?” Ben repeats, pulling back, his lust-filled eyes looking down into yours.

His fingers barely scrapes your inner thigh, but you feel the jolt of his touch travel up to where the vibrator is still sitting.

“Please?” He squeaks out as his fingers travel up higher and his breathing gets heavier, matching yours.

Even though the vibrator isn’t on, it still brushes against your clit every time you shift and it’s only making you want Benny more, to help you get some relief. Even though you’ve already cum, you are hornier than ever right now.

You simply nod before capturing his mouth again. You moan into his mouth when you feel his hand cupping you, rubbing small slow circles with his fingers. Your hips twitch when he drags his middle finger up and down the thick seam of your pants that’s pressing directly down the center of the outer part of the vibrator which is sitting directly on your clit. He’s barely putting any pressure, but you’re hypersensitive right now and it feels like torture. 

Now impatient, you start undoing your pants, trying to quickly get them off. You break the kiss to take a few seconds to focus on ridding your jeans. Benny watches you as he palms himself again, touching himself like he did with you. When you finally get your jeans off, tossing it over the couch, you reach into your underwear to remove the bane of your current existence - the vibrator. Without much effort, the vibrator basically falls out of you. It is drenched in your arousal, a thin sticky string still connects you to it. 

It made an audible noise when it slipped out of you, as did Benny. Before you can discard the very used toy, Benny’s hand is back on you, his fingertips teasing the band of your underwear. He keeps dipping further and discovers how slick you really are.

"Jeeeeesus Christ, you weren't kidding. That shit got you so fucking wet," he comments while teasing your opening, slowly dipping his fingertip in, putting light pressure against it but it took no effort to penetrate you.

An audible squelch can be heard when he enters a second finger. You moan, feeling his thick fingers filling you and stroking you inside. He’s definitely reaching places the vibrator couldn’t. He hums watching your face distort when he pushes in further.

Your hand grips his strong forearm, feeling his veins raised and his muscles flexing underneath your palms as he pumps his long fingers in and out of you. The tip of his tongue darts out and licks the corner by his upper lip as he starts curling his fingers up, reaching for that soft spongy spot at the roof of your vagina. Your legs open up wider for him as his fingertips rub your g-spot over and over again. Your senses are heightened watching him watching you with darkened eyes. His thumb starts rubbing your clit as he massages your g-spot and it doesn’t take long for your orgasm to peak. You rock your hips against his fingers as your muscles continually clench and release over his fingers. 

"Holy sh-shit," you tremble, feeling the aftershocks.

He pulls his fingers out, dragging them over your clit along the way, making your body twitch at the sensitivity. 

“I think I made you cum faster than that toy did,” he jokes.

You crack a half smile but you don’t have the brain power to conjure up a verbal response. After a shared moment, he leans in to give you a quick peck on your lips. As he gets up off the couch, Benny takes his cap off to adjust the position of it, switching it backwards before settling between your legs. 

The front of your thin cotton panties are completely drenched through. He can see your outline as the damp fabric clings to your puffy lips. 

“Can I taste you?” 

His puppy eyes peek up from between your legs. Your brain is mush so you simply nod.

He bunches the top of your underwear in his hand and yanks it up, causing it to brush across your clit. Your hips twitch and as he continues to rub the fabric over you, seeing your reaction to it and drawing out the tease. You moan and gyrate your hips when he puts his mouth between your legs over your underwear.  He laps up your juices, licking and sucking as he continues to tug at your panties taut against your dripping cunt, putting pressure on your sensitive nub.

"Ben…" you pant as you push his cap off and run your fingers through his messy dirty blonde hair.

His scruff brushes the insides of your thigh as he continues to eat you out. You gasp when you feel the tip of his tongue breaching your opening, forcing your underwear aside and exposing your core. He puts more pressure with his tongue, slipping in deeper inside you and tasting you. Your hips start rocking against his face, but his tongue can only go so far. He shifts his attention to the swollen bud a little higher, scrunching your panties aside. He circles your clit with the tip before pressing the flat of his tongue and then his mouth over it, hollowing out his cheeks as he sucks hard. Your thighs clamp around his head and his eyes focus on your face as his tongue continues to play your clit like a fiddle. He grips your hips and holds you down.

“F-fuck…” your breathing becomes irregular as your orgasm builds.

With his mouth still attached to you, he slips his finger inside you to try to find that spot again. You thrust against his face when you feel your third release breaching. Benny intensifies his sucking and fingering, feeling you clench around him. You cry out when the dam breaks and you convulse around him. He doesn’t stop until you still. As you’re coming down from your high, body slouched from being spent, he withdraws his fingers and licks them clean.

“So you wanna try that other toy now to see how it compares to the real thing?” He asks as he stands up and wipes his mouth.

He was right about him not needing any help in the bedroom department. You can barely form words right now. Never in a million years would you think your best friend can eat pussy like an expert. Taking from his brother who he regularly competes with, he always strives to be the best in everything he does, but this is on a whole different level. And now he wants to use another toy on you? You don’t think anything can top what he just did to you.

"W-what?" you ask cluelessly, still recovering the most mind blowing oral sex you have ever received. 

Your eyes follow him as he reaches for the suction toy to show you. He tries to figure out how to turn it on as he kneels down, returning between your legs.

"You gotta help me out here--"

He's suddenly interrupted when you grab his face and smash your lips against his, tasting yourself. He abandons the toy somewhere and moves up to the couch next to you. You reposition yourself to straddle his lap as you continue to make out. As your hands wander down to the buttons of his jeans, he grabs your ass, squeezing them in his large hands. 

When you successfully get his jeans undone, he lifts his hips and helps you pull down his bottoms until he springs free. You look down and reach for his thick cock, warm and soft to the touch. You jerk him as he’s already hard as a rock. Your thumb brushes the underside of his head.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

Now it’s your turn to torture him. You slide off his lap and on to the floor, kneeling between his knees. Once in a comfortable position, you grab his length, licking a trail from the base to the tip, maintaining eye contact the entire time. When you get to the top, you wrap your lips around him, wetting the head a bit before inching down to taste the rest of him. Your tongue swirls around his smooth and salty skin, lubricating him as you bob up and down.

“Shhhhit…” He throws his head back against the couch.

Feeling frisky, you try to deep throat him and he grasps within arms reach whatever he can as he groans. He looks over when a hand grabs something unfamiliar to him. It’s the vibrator and an idea comes to his mind.

“Wait,” he reluctantly stops you.

You pause and see him holding up the vibrator.

“Put this on while you suck me. I think it’ll be fun.”

You look at the vibrator for a moment and then back at him.

“I promise I won’t put it so high,” he reassures you.

“Fine,” you agree and you take it from him and slip it inside you, orienting it the right way. “You try anything and I’ll bite your dick off,” you warn, drawing a small chuckle out of Ben.

You get back into the position you were in before and put your mouth back on him. As you go back to sucking him, you yelp when Benny turns the vibrator on at a low speed. The noise you made sent a delightful vibration down his cock, making it twitch. He turns it up a notch and your hips move against the vibrator. You start moving up and down on him a little faster, stroking the base where your mouth can’t reach. You deepthroat him again until you gag, but you keep on going, sending your spit dripping down his cock and lubing him up.

“You look so fucking hot,” Benny pants.

His breathing is getting more labored. His hips jerk up and he places a hand on the back of your head. He’s not putting any pressure, but he fists your hair. He doesn’t pull on it, just moves with you as you fuck him with your mouth. You start quickening your pace feeling the vibrator getting stronger, trying to match it. Feeling the beginning of an orgasm forming, you rock your hips and suck him harder.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns you.

Not changing your rhythm, you watch him come undone as he pops in your mouth. He thrust into your face as his moans echo in the small space and grasps the remote in his hand, accidentally jumping it up another level, but it’s what you needed to push you over the edge. You grind against the toy as you moan with him still deep inside your mouth. He spills out of the corner of your mouth as his hips slow down.

When he stills, you suck him clean and swallow the load that remained in your mouth. You reach down to pull the vibrator off and toss it onto his lap. Benny jumps in his seat and shuts it off. You wipe the corner of your mouth and chin with the back of your hand as you get up off your knees. He looks back at you with tired eyes as he tries to catch his breath, cock twitching. You squeal when he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his lap, careful with his half hard cock. You straddle his lap and he kisses you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth, tasting a bit of himself. The two of you lazily make out for a bit until Benny pulls back. You lick your lips and smile, looking down at him.

“We should start making this a regular thing, ya know. The toy testing,” Benny suggests, breaking the awkward silence and lightening the mood.

“Well, I do have a dildo I haven’t tried yet,” you half-joke.

He looks back at you with narrow eyes.

“You’re not putting that in my ass,” he states.

“Not what I was thinking,” you chuckle as you shake your head. “I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to be double penetrated,” you explain.

Benny stares at you with a blank expression, but you see his semi twitch in your peripheral. 

“Gi-give me maybe fifteen minutes—“ he finally says, pointing to his softening cock.

“Whoa! Hold it there, cowboy,” you stop him. “Why don’t we just think on that? Besides, I don’t have any condoms or lube for that to happen.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure,” he shrugs. “I-I had a good time, if that’s what you were wonder—“

You silence him with a tender kiss before grabbing the vibrator to remove the batteries and toss them at him.

“I’m gonna clean up. Why don’t you put the fight on? I think It’s starting soon,” you tell him as you dismount him and grab your jeans off the floor while Benny pulls his bottoms back up.

“Look what the guys missed out on. Coulda had an orgy,” you joke.

“If everyone showed up, we’d be at a bar,” he points out, then swishes some beer inside his mouth.

“Fair. Okay, a Miller sandwich then,” you switch it up.

Benny chokes on his beer.

“Kidding!” You chuckle awkwardly. “Kinda. Sorry, you probably don’t wanna think about you and your brother fucking the same person at the same time,” you snort before finally heading to the bathroom.

When you get back, you find Benny putting his phone away and relaxing on the couch like he was before any of the sexy stuff had happened, with the TV on. The awkwardness returns. He hands you your beer as you sit down next to him, settling in. You both quietly watch the fight as it starts, but you steal glances at each other every now and then. At one point, you do a double take.

“Dude, are you smelling your fingers?” You look at him incredulously.

“What? I washed them, but I can still smell you.”

You grimace at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. You smell good,” he shrugs. “It’s actually getting me hard again.”

You watch him adjust himself. The both of you stare each other down, trying to read each other until a knock on your door breaks the trance.

“Who the hell is that?” You ask, but Benny shrugs.

You get up to open the door and find the other Miller brother on the other side.

“Hey, sorry I’m late! I had trouble finding parking. Did the fight start already?”

You look back at him confused.

“Uh… are you gonna let me in?” Will asks. “I brought goodies.” He shows the case of beer and grocery store bag in his hand with a party sized bag of chips peeking out.

“Sorry, I just thought you weren’t coming,” you tell him while letting him in.

“I texted Benny telling him plans changed last minute. Did he not get it?”

“Uh, I-I don’t know. He didn’t tell me anything.” You lead him into the living room where Benny almost looks surprised.

“Did you not tell her I’m coming?” Will asks his brother.

“Oh, sorry, forgot. I was uh, a little preoccupied,” he apologizes.

Will looks at both you and Benny suspiciously. 

“It smells… interesting in here,” he comments, his eyebrows furrow with curiosity.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry Will. Let me take that from you.” You quickly change the subject, taking the bag and beer out of his hands.

“Wait-” Will starts.

“Get comfy. I’ll bring you back a cold beer,” you tell him before whisking away.

You stick the beer in the fridge and when you remove the party sized tortillas to pour some into a bowl, you notice some unexpected items in the bag. You take them out for a closer inspection and your eyes widen at the bottle of lube and a box of condoms. Maybe he bought these before his initial plans got changed.

You shrug, throw them back into the bag and return to the living room with a bowl of chips, cold beer and the grocery bag of personal items. When you walk into the living room, the brothers turn their attention to you, eyeing you like they’re expecting something other than the beer and chips. You look back at them suspiciously as they’re both very laxed and spread out on the couch on each end, leaving a space for you in between. As you walk over and settle in next to them, their gaze follows you.

“Here Will, I think these are yours,” you hand him a beer and his bag of items.

He takes them from you as he smirks.

“Thanks. So,” Will turns his body towards you. “Benny tells me you’re curious about some DP action.”

You almost drop the bowl of chips in your hands. Will is usually very reserved and diplomatic so you’re a bit shocked at how straight forward he is right now. You glare at your best friend who shrugs helplessly.

“I had to tell him what he missed out on.”

You glower your eyes at Benny, but then put two and two together, your focus now bouncing between the two brothers and realize that no one is probably going to watch this fight tonight.

#benny miller #triple frontier #benny miller fanfiction #benny miller x female reader #benny miller x f! reader #benny miller x reader #benny miller x you #triple frontier fanfiction #bff to lovers

[maddstermind]

Hey there, howdy, hello! Welcome to my writeblr that I am going to try real hard to be active on!

I'm Madd, they/them, and while I might not post it all here, I am a very active writer hoping for publication in the near future! I'm hoping to become part of the community, so feel free to tag me in things/shoot me asks/anything of the sort!! I'd love more writer friends :>

(Also, this is a sideblog! My main is warriorblood1, so if you get random follows/likes from that account, that's me!)

Want to know more details? Keep reading!

What do you write? I write all kinds of things! I have ideas in honestly too many genres and whatnot at this point, and I hope to someday write them all!

Right now, however, I have two main focuses: spooky short stories, and a novel series! (Though I do have a couple other novel things.)

Tell me about the short stories. My short stories tend to be 3k to 5k on average, and most wind up being horror or horror-adjacent. I tend to describe them as being "Twilight Zone-esque," but most would fit as being called gothic horror.

I have previously published some short stories, but my full legal name is on them so I hesitate to link them here. Regardless, I hope to publish a collection sometime soon!

Tell me about the novel series. Auberon Academy is a four-novel series told through a rotating POV of four main characters. It is a fantasy setting (though a bit more modern fantasy; more or less 1950s tech-wise), but the plot is more of a mystery/thriller.

I'm querying the first novel and have the first draft of the second one finished, and am now starting to draft the third book! You can learn more about the first book, Manifestations and the Missing, here in this funny slideshow I made. Update: Here's a slideshow for book two, In Pursuit of Knowledge!

What do you do besides writing? Not much. Just kidding.

I'm bad at video games, but I love to play them. A favorite hobby of mine is tabletop role-playing games, my favorites being Call of Cthulhu, Blackbirds, Dungeons & Dragons, and Vampire: The Masquerade! I also love to draw, and several of my story ideas are actually comics!

But lets be honest. Torturing my characters (canonically or otherwise) is my favorite thing to do. What kind of writer would I be if I said anything different?

How do you tag things?

General writing: #madd writing

Prompts: #prompt response

Tag games: #tag game

Ask games: #ask game

Asks: #questions

Resources: #holding

Short story work: #short story

Novel work: #novel work

Auberon Academy-specifc: #boberon

Soulbearer-specific: #sogbog

DIIE-specific: #DIIE

Conspiracy Gang-specific: #nerdy prudes

My art: #madd doodles

Other writeblr-related things: #writeblr stuff

Also, this post has the list of character tags for Auberon!

I'll also try to tag anything that feels like it should warrant a trigger warning!

Anything else to note? I'm very nervous about posting my work to Tumblr (fear of theft really gets to you), but I'm trying to overcome it. That being said, you might not see too terribly much of it here - if you're really interested, please reach out to me! I'd most likely be happy to share more on a more private level.

Also, I have ADHD! I tend to hyperfixate on my own work (which is a nightmare but also useful), but if you're ever confused by something. That's probably why.

Thanks for being here, y'all!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #original writing #creative writing #writeblr intro #writeblr stuff #i hope this is decent lmao

[rosemary-morgan]

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 4) 18+

(Pictures found on pinterest/google. That one with Javier is mine. Collage made by me 🌺)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

The 4 Part is online 🥰 thanks to all who read and like my story 🐝🌺 I hope you will enjoy the this chapter too!

Tag list: @fangirl-ramblings @rose-of-black-blood @livingdeadgirly @coaxium-captain-rex @12timetraveler @butterballchannie @charlesjaviersimp @ashethesimp @planetahmane @snoowply @sylum @noodle-tm @karmashatty @nadnad09 @lill2350 @slightlyexpiredyogurt8 @natnuszsstuff @boniscute @books-arebetterthan-boys @pedropascalluvr69 @blackrosegarden6 @sie-werden-nie-vergessen @inlovewithjavierescuella

If anyone of you want to be tagged to not miss the newest chapter, please let me know 🙏 If you want me to take you off the list, please tell me

And sorry if there are errors with the Spanish words. Please tell me if so. Thanks 🖤

👉Read part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Warning: Nsfw 18+! Very erotic stuff y'all, trigger moments, angst

Summary: The love between you had never stopped and your nights are now again marked by passion. But there is a dark secret that you can not tell Javier. Not yet, for it would break his heart. Now that you had found each other again, you didn't want to risk it all. But he has a right to know…

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 4) 18+

You still couldn't believe that Javier was standing in front of you. Just when you were about to throw all your hopes overboard, a small miracle happened. Javier's eyes sought your gaze and you could clearly see that he was afraid of your reaction. He was very tense, but how could you refuse him now? After you had so ardently wished that he would come and see you?

"I… um, Y/N, listen, I know… this…"

The words were stuck in his throat, because he really didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to find the right words either?

"I needed to see you, Y/N… But… I understand if you have finally lost your patience with me. I understand if…"

You approached him without words and the next moment you threw yourself into his arms. Full of relief, he closed his eyes, his arms immediately wrapped around your body and he hugged you tightly. He immediately buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. God, how he had missed your lovely scent!

"Javier…"

Your voice trembled as you whispered his name. Your hands clawed desperately at his raven black hair as your tears ran unstoppably down your face. You heard Javier sigh softly, followed by a quiet sob before he swallowed.

"Y/N… I'm sorry…" he whispered against your neck and you could feel his tears wetting your skin. His warm, strong body nestled against yours made you feel safe and secure.

You looked straight into his eyes as he took hold of your tender face and begged you again to forgive him.

"Lo siento mucho, Y/N!"

His cheeks grew quite warm, the tears ran inexorably down his face. So much pain, so much sorrow and regrets were on his face. Too many emotions to cope with.

"I have caused you so much grief."

But instead of facing him with anger and hatred, you just smiled through tears. The time for scorn was long gone and everything you wanted, you now had. Your dearest Javier had returned.

Gently you placed your hands on his, your lips were so close, you could feel each other's warm breath.

"I've only ever thought of you, Javier. All these years…"

And that was when Javier couldn't take it anymore and without warning, he kissed her. Instantly, your knees went all soft, blissful lap through your whole body.

"How could I ever forget you?" whispered Javier, before kissing you longingly again, brushing the strands of your hair from your face.

Words of love filled your house and every single word came from the depths of your soul. From two people who had suffered immensely without the other. Neither of you ever wanted to be apart again.

"Te quiero! Te quiero mucho, Y/N! Yo nunca dejé de amarte!"

And you had never stopped loving him either. This moment seemed like a beautiful dream and you were so afraid of letting go of Javier. You were afraid that this beautiful moment could burst like a soap bubble. It wouldn't be bearable for you a second time.

"I love you, Javier."

Desperately you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and Javier held you tightly, enveloping you with his arms like the wings of an angel.

Suddenly he knelt in front of you, wrapped his arms around your middle and he pressed his face against your stomach, sighing heavily and you could feel that he was trembling. Javier could do nothing, his tears would not end. You lovingly stroked his black hair. Good God, how much time you had lost… how much had been taken from you…

When Javier looked up to you, his eyes were filled with warmth and trust. As his warm hands laid on your tender arms, you suddenly felt hot and deepest excitement shot through your body. His touch felt so damn good and you closed your eyes for a moment, your heart pounding like crazy.

"Javier…"

"Y/N…"

Javier whispered your name, rising from his spot. He stood close to you, his warm breath brushing your cheek. His hands squeezed your arms and you gasped, closing your eyes. A lustful sigh escaped your lips as Javier gently pressed your body against his.

"The nights were so cold… so lonely without you, mi rosa…" he whispered hoarsely against your lips and you thought you would lose your mind at any moment. Between your legs was tingling like crazy and you wanted, no, you needed his touch, his lips, his body…

His lips gently brushed your cheek and you could hear how aroused he was too.

"I've dreamed of this moment so many times, Y/N," Javier groaned in your ear and he closed his eyes, breathing in your seductive scent, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a deep sigh. Carefully you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting the wave of pleasure take you for good.

"The warmth of your body, the taste of your lips… I almost went crazy without you…"

His fingers ran over your arms as he said this.

"Javier…"

As his hand gently touched your cheek, you leaned into his touch. Javier had always been tender and you had missed that feeling so much. His beautiful eyes took in every little detail of your face. Your shapely lips, the long lashes and your eyes that shimmered with tears.

"Your touches, your kisses…. I missed them so much, Javier…"

And that was never to be again, Javier had told himself. Yet when your lips met, your kiss instantly ignited like a fire. Javier reached for the hem of your dress, pushing it up, his hand roaming over your bare thigh. You were wearing long white stockings, fastened with a small bow to hold to your thigh. His fingers gently clawed into your firm flesh, full of desire for you. He had always had a weakness for long stockings and he liked the idea of stripping you down to them and making love to you.

His lips detached from yours, rather he let his mouth slide over your throat. Moaning softly, you let your head fall back, enjoying this erotic moment.

"Ahh… Javier…" Your hands claw into his hair as Javier greedily tasted the skin on your throat, gently biting into your flesh…

♦♦♦♦

His beautiful, naked body resembled stunning marble; firm and strong, slender and desirous. His hands slid under the hem of your undergarment that covered your trembling body. Inch by inch he pushed it up, over your waist and stomach, until he had freed your beautiful breasts. Rosy nipples tightened under his gaze. His eyes grew dark with desire and Javier couldn't believe his luck. You lay before him, in the flesh. Beautiful and desirable!

After he had removed your undergarments, he carelessly threw it aside and you lay in the soft sheets dressed only in your white, long stockings. Biting your lips gently, you looked up at Javier, giving him a glimpse between your legs as you opened them for him. You could hear him inhale deeply, trembling with excitement.

"Oh, querida…"

Did you realize how crazy you were driving him? How much he desired you? His hands covered your tits, pressing them together. He lifted them to his lips as he lowered his head and his hair slid over your oversensitive, heated skin, while his mouth swallow one of the stiff nipples, kissing it first and then circling it with his tongue, making you moan with pleasure.

Javier continued, covering your other tit with tender bites. You squirmed helplessly, wishing he would lick your hot, throbbing pussy. To kiss it and give it the attention it needed right now. You could barely stand it anymore, so your hand slipped between your legs and you started caressing yourself. Javier noticed this immediately and he had to grin, rather he let your nipple slide out of his mouth with a smack. Slowly, he slid down on your body. Grabbing your hips, he lifted your hips to finally taste your sweet little pussy after such a long time. Completely captivated by your scent, Javier closed his eyes for a moment and breathed it in. You desperately whispered his name as you felt infinite pleasure at that moment. His tongue parted your folds, swapping between them and finding your clitoris. Slowly, ever so slowly, Javier circled the small, pulsating center of your desire. He alternated licking and sucking on you until he heard you lustfully call his name. It was like a sighing plea to finally take you.

Deeply his tongue plunged into your tight, wet opening, fucking you in a delicious way and you thought you were going to lose your mind.

"Javier…!"

Clutching at the pillow, you threw your head to the side, moaning with pleasure as your inner thighs began to quiver.

Your breasts rose and fell with each breath and Javier's dark eyes, looked up at you. He enjoyed the sight of your beautiful body, the expression of pure bliss on your face. His tongue ran in circular motions over your clit, sometimes faster and then slower. You could barely stand the feeling and you suppressed a loud moan, pressing the back of your hand to your mouth. "Oh my god… ahhh…"

"Ahh… Y/N…"

Javier encircled your swollen pearl and he started sucking on it, stroking your thighs with his hands and as you reached into his hair, a deep growl came from his throat. His cock was perfectly hard and erect, pre-cum dripping from its tip, sliding slowly down his shaft. He could hardly stand it anymore, becoming more energetic in his actions as he also slid his fingers into your opening to fuck you with his fingers.

Briefly Javier had to swallow your nectar to continue and before you could think any further you came with a lustful moan, your back arching and Javier holding you tightly to his mouth so you could ride out your orgasm.

"Mi rosa… you are so beautiful…" he whispered, breathing a kiss on your inner thigh before sliding up to you, his warm, toned body resting on yours.

Javier grabbed his cock and made circular motions with the tip on your clit.

"Look at me, sweetheart…" he whispered, gently turning your face towards him and when you opened your eyes, Javier could see the tears in them. But he could tell that you were just happy at the moment.

"I want to look at you when I make love to you…"

"Javier…"

His words were as sweet as honey, his touches and kisses gentle as a bird's wings.

As his hand sought yours to intertwine your fingers, he guided his cock to your wet opening and you instantly took him in. With a deep, lustful moan on both sides, you looked into each other's eyes, saw the lust in each other's faces. A beautiful and very intimate moment for you.

You clawed almost desperately at his masculine back, almost as if you were afraid he might be taken from you again. But Javier felt the same way. The thought of letting you go again was out of the question for him.

"Mi amor… I love you…"

Your pussy was like velvet and you were hot and so wet… Javier thought he was losing his mind. He began to thrust himself inside you. Slowly at first, for he savored being so deep inside you. His throbbing cock filled you completely. "Ahh… you are so tight and so hot…. hssst… ahhh…" he moaned against your ear and he bit your earlobe. His voice had gone a notch deeper and darker and that made your body tremble with pleasure. His lips kissed your mouth as he moved rhythmically inside you and his scent clouded your senses. He smelled of leather, spicy lavender and tobacco…

The sound of his balls smacking against your wetness filled the room. Enveloped by your scent and your husky, lustful sounds, and after more powerful thrusts from Javier, he felt that he was about to climax and you too felt yourself tingling intensely between your legs. When his hand slipped between your bodies to caress your clit, your climax overtook you. Your body arched lustfully towards Javier and you clawed at his strong arms, seeking help, driving him crazy with the sight of your beautiful body. And finally he squirted his seed deep into your soft pussy, growling lustfully and closing his eyes as he thrust into you, trembling while riding out his climax.

You clung to each other in the soft sheets of your bed, enjoying this precious moment. Panting heavily, you lay on top of each other and Javier had his arms wrapped tightly around your body. You felt so desired, so loved… you had the feeling that you would always find protection in his arms. When his eyes searched your gaze, you smiled lovingly at him and Javier covered your face with tender kisses. Gently he kissed your cheek, your chin, your nose, your eyelids and finally your seductive mouth.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments; foreheads resting together and looking into each other's eyes, not wanting to lose the feeling of the other. This was a special moment for both of you….

♦♦♦♦

"Where have you been all these years, Javier?" you asked softly as you rested against his chest. It was such a pleasant silence that surrounded you both. The sun's rays fell directly on their naked bodies, mentioning you. The young man gently stroked your arm as he looked up at the ceiling, thinking about where best to start. He had been through a lot in the last five years, had made bad decisions. But after the decline of the gang, he too had been lost. For Javier, everything had been hopeless then.

"I was lost, mi rosa. I had made many, wrong decisions."

You listened to him, snuggling even closer to his chest, gently running your fingers over his skin.

"After the decline, I got into one shit situation after another. I didn't… didn't care about anything anymore, you know? I stole, killed to survive. I was just a shadow of my former self."

You could understand him well, and you knew Javier. He had a guilty conscience for all those things, but they were in the past now and you had to let them rest sometime. You were lucky to have Abigail and John as support. Otherwise, you would have been in a bad way after Micah and Dutch brought everyone to ruin.

"But I was given another chance. And this man is really like a father to me. He's given me a lot, shown me a lot."

He was talking about his boss, who had finally persuaded him to seek you out.

Curiously you looked up at him and when you saw Javier smile you knew everything was right. Giving you a kiss on the forehead, he sighed contentedly.

" I'm very happy that you live in this beautiful place, Y/N. I'm happy that you're doing well and living a good life."

Tears came to your eyes at his words. It had been half a life without him, but his words touched you. It only confirmed how much he loved you.

"Without Abigail and John, I don't think I would have made it as easily as I did."

Javier was now very curious when you mentioned their name. Javier often thought of John.

"They were supportive of me, Javier. I was with them for almost two years until finally I was able to build my own life."

But there was one thing you didn't mention. A trauma that you hadn't really dealt with until today, and if Javier found out, it would break his heart. Only Abigail, John and little Jack knew about that. Something that had shaken you all to the core. You immediately shook off that thought, because it wasn't time to tell Javier yet. Was there even a time for it?

"I'm just glad we found each other again, darling," you whispered as you nestled your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep breath of his scent.

"I love you, Y/N."

His arms wrapped protectively around you and neither of you had the intention to stand up. Time seemed to have stopped for you.

You had been stranded, left by the wayside and yet, your lives had moved forward. Javier had managed to get his life together, just like you. You both earned your money with hard work and you were proud of it. You were more grown up, had realized at some point that life as an outlaw was not a romantic affair. No one knew better than you, because you had gone through it…

♦♦♦♦

You stood in the kitchen, your thoughts giving you no peace. A bit nervously you chewed your thumb, looking out of the window, lost. Dark clouds were gathering, the thunder was already rumbling in the distance.

"Is everything all right, honey?"

You seemed a bit sad this morning and Javier wondered what the reason could be. There was indeed a reason, but you couldn't talk about it. At least not yet. You had just found each other and you didn't want a shadow to be cast over your love.

"Yes. I'm just a little sick to my stomach."

Loving as Javier was, he gently stroked your cheek and smiled encouragingly at you.

"You should lie down for a bit. Drink some chamomile tea, that will calm your stomach."

You gave him a warm smile, rather kissing him tenderly.

"Maybe you're right."

"I have to go now. My client doesn't like to wait."

"Okay, Javi. I'll see you tonight."

He gave you another deep, intimate kiss but instead of pulling away from you, he intensified the kiss, his body snuggling against yours and pressing you against the counter, making you gasp in pleasure. Instantly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss.

"Javi?"

"Mmm…"

His lips roamed over your neck, and he knew exactly where to kiss you so you'd be all his.

"Don't you have to go to work?" you asked with an amused undertone.

"Mhm… I still have a few minutes," he whispered against your skin and without giving it much thought, he grabbed your thighs and lifted you onto the counter. With a seductive smile, you pulled Javier by his collar while your beautiful legs wrapped around his waist.

"I just can't keep my hands off you," he purred low and excited as he slid his hand under your skirt to feel your skin.

"Javi…"

You became instantly wet and that was just from his voice, his touch and his closeness. There was nothing wrong with performing a quick fuck in the kitchen, was there?

But your plan was thwarted when you heard a wagon. Javier looked out the window and saw someone approaching.

"Who is that?"

It could only be John. She looked up at Javier.

"Let's go outside. That must be John."

"John?"

What was John doing here? Out of nowhere like this? Javier frowned but followed, and he was more than curious to know how these circumstances fit together.

"Hey, Y/N! I brought you some stuff from town. And…"

John's smile evaporated as Javier suddenly appeared behind you. He thought he was seeing a ghost and he had to realize Javier was really here. John shook his head barely noticeably, closing his eyes briefly and frowning.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hola, John…"

"I said, what the hell are you doing here?"

And John sounded rather irritated. Instantly, he climbed off his wagon, made his way straight to the two of you. You had guessed that this reunion wouldn't be easy. But that John would react so negatively to Javier was surprising even to you.

"I could ask you the same thing, amigo."

Javier didn't appreciate being approached without any respect. John was angry, yes, he could understand. But if he was going to act foolish, well, so could Javier.

"I'll take care of, Y/N. Unlike you, Javier!"

Javier swallowed hard. Yes, John had been right. He hadn't been there for you, but he was now, and he would stay.

"You better get out of here, Javier! You have no business being here!"

"What? Says who? You?"

"Enough!"

The whole thing was getting too silly for you. With a stern look you eyed John, standing in front of Javier.

"This is my house, my property! I decide who can come here and who can't! Is that clear, John!"

"Y/N! Do you really think you can trust that snake? After all he's done!"

"Oh, come on John! Don't act like that! You let Abigail and Jack down back then! You let us all down that time!"

Now John was the one who had nothing to say about it. The two men paused and you were glad that neither of them had anything to say at the moment.

"We all made mistakes in our past. But talking about it doesn't undo anything!"

"Y/N, you may be right, but Javier sided with Micah! He is partly to blame for Arthur's death!"

"That's enough John! You better leave now!"

But John didn't listen at all, he went straight for Javier, stood in front of him, but Javier didn't back away, nor did he let John intimidate him.

"You betrayed us all."

With his head held high, he looked John in the eye. There was something dangerous in his gaze.

"I saved your life more than once, hijo de puta!"

But John was so pissed, he wasn't even listening to what Javier had to say to him.

"When Y/N needed you the most, you weren't there! You abandoned her and your child!"

It hit Javier, but also you, like a thunderbolt when John spoke those words. And at that very moment, there was a deep and powerful clap of thunder. Within a few seconds, the first raindrops were already falling to the earth. Daughter? How? But… For Javier, a world just collapsed. He was completely confused and you could see it in his face. His eyes slid across the ground, trying to comprehend what John had just said.

"Your daughter would have needed a father! Your woman would have needed you!"

You couldn't believe John had the thoughtlessness to say such a thing to Javier. Sobbing, you put your hand to your mouth to suppress your tears as best you could. Eventually everything came to light, but it had definitely been too soon. Way too soon and you would never forgive John for that. Closing your eyes, you let the first tears run free. The rain became heavier and soon wetted your entire face, mixing with your tears.

Javier was so shocked by John's statement that he was speechless. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words passed his lips. His eyes became glassy and he cast a shocked look in your direction. When he saw your tears and your agonized expression, he was aware that John was telling the truth.

"Y/N… no…"

"Fuck you Javier! Do her a favor and fuck off again!"

Where was his child? You didn't tell him about it! Where the hell was his daughter?

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #fanfiction #love #romance #drama #javier escuella #javier escuella x female reader #javier escuella fanfiction #javier escuella x you #y/n reader #trigger warning! #broken hearts #lovers #relationships #rdr #rdr fandom #hurt and comfort #secrets #dark secrets #broken friendship #my fanfictions #rdr 2 fanfictions

[missmaywemeetagain]

Pink Scarf - PART 15 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: Mentions of Blood/Miscarriage/Medical trauma. ANGST. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: The ANGST is real, y'all, and I'm not letting you off the hook after Part 14, sorry! This one was a beast to get out of my brain and the block was real for so many reasons, but we made it! It's here! Just so y'all know, this part is very much a bridge to all the crazy stuff that is to come. Reader is going through it and taking all of us with her. And I promise that more smut is coming (if you are only here for that, you horny animals! LOL). Please make sure you read the trigger warnings for this part because there are some sensitive topics that carry over from Part 14!

Thank you for being so patient while I got this out. Unexpected life crap/emotions/writer's block killed me on this one, and I SO appreciate you hanging in there with me! I rewrote the beginning of this part no less than four times, and FINALLY it clicked so here we are! Hooray! Thanks for helping me get through this!

As always, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there!)

No!

The scream catches in your throat as you wake with a start, clutching your belly in a panic, your heart pounding against your ribcage so hard you feel like it is attempting to flee your chest. It takes a moment to figure out where you are. The night is warm and the sky is vast, and you are so far up you feel like you’re still dreaming.

“Baby, are you okay?” Elvis sits up straight in his lounge chair and turns to you. You can see, or better sense, the concern in his eyes, even in the darkness. This sends a shiver of recognition down your spine as your dream (or is it a memory?) flashes back to you in fragments. His eyes are older now, but the look remains the same, feels the same. 

“I..I..I…” you stutter, shaking your head, unable to be coherent. No, you are not okay. Looking down, you half expect to see blood pooling between your legs, but thankfully there is none. You feel stuck in the haze between reality and dreams, or reality and what you are afraid might actually be the past.

You feel like screaming, but the impulse sticks in your throat, strangling you.

There was a reason, you think, that you never remembered that horrible night from nearly a decade ago. That you’d only been able to piece together snippets of what really happened from vague accounts of the people you’d been with that night. Elvis, in particular, had been purposefully scarce on details.

And you had been fine with that, truly not wanting to relive your trauma in any way, shape, or form. You’d even been grateful when the doctor told you it was normal for your mind to protect you from your near-death experience, that you might never remember the details of that night, and you determined the memory loss a blessing.

When you’d woken in the sterile hospital, drugged and dazed, the doctor told you’d had an ectopic pregnancy, that the baby—no, the “fertilized egg,” he’d said—had gotten stuck in your fallopian tube instead of your uterus. Unfortunately, your fallopian tube ruptured as the baby grew, and you had massive hemorrhaging, nearly dying in that skating rink. They were able to do surgery and stop the bleeding, but the baby was gone, and you were told it never would have come to term.

It was the worst thing that had ever happened to you. The grief and heartache, the disappointment, the feeling like an utter failure that your body had betrayed you in such a way. No, you were fine not remembering the details. You’d wanted to forget all about it. It didn’t matter to you that the specifics weren’t there, that not everyone’s stories lined up or made complete sense. You just wanted to push it all away.

But now…this dream felt so incredibly real, at least the parts that you remembered. As dreams do, it begins to fade, leaving only a few missing puzzle pieces that start to slot into place. Desperately, you try to wipe it all away again, but it’s too late. You are trying to convince yourself it had to be a dream, that the flashes you are remembering (or more so feeling), couldn’t have possibly happened that way. Except many of the parts you do remember are true and really happened: Elvis’ coming home, how you’d been so inexplicably enamored with him, and how he'd been so concerned he’d done something to hurt you—all of that was real.

But the night of the Rollerdome is where things get choppy. Those parts of the dream are still but snippets and feelings, overwhelming ones at that, and you have no memories to compare them to. Could it be that you lost the baby and almost died in Elvis’ arms after he’d come to your rescue when…when…something else happened? You can’t grasp why he’d needed to come to your rescue or what led up to being in his arms on the floor—it all slips through your fingers like water through a sieve.

God, but the pain you are remembering right now…it is all so much worse than you’d imagined.

It’s like you can sense it happening all over again rather than simply remembering, your belly cramping and lightheadedness threatening your vision. The frantic panic of fearing the worst pours through your veins now almost as it did then. I can’t breathe I can’t breathe I can’t breathe.

Then there was Elvis, pulling you into his lap; you can feel the terror he tried so unsuccessfully to hide, how obvious it was in the shaking stutter of his voice as he was doused in your blood. Then, it fades again, leaving you with the distinct feeling that something important (other than losing the baby) happened on the floor of that roller rink, but it disappears into the ether before you can lock on to it.

“…Oh, God, don’t—”

All of it is too much, all at once.

You are barely conscious of the tears pouring down your cheeks, and you awkwardly stagger up from the lounge chair you’d fallen asleep on while traveling to the moon and the stars. Just you and me and the moon and the stars…You feel dizzy from getting up too fast, from the physical memory of it all and you sway, but your body overrides it with the need to flee, as if you can outrun the past.

“Hey, hey, hey! Honey, what’s happenin’? What’s wrong?” Elvis asks, confused, leaping up, grabbing your shoulders.

You tear yourself from his grasp, staggering for the door that will lead you off the roof and hopefully out of this hell your mind has sought to drag you into. Nothing makes sense. You feel trapped in a daze of psychic and physical pain, none of which is helpful or wanted. All the peace from your moment with the moon and the stars has evaporated in an instant. You reach the door and yank it open.

“Y/n, stop! Wait just a damn minute!” he says firmly, pulling you back to him, his cold rings digging into your forearm like chains.

“Elvis, let me go! You have to let me go!” you shout, trying to break free, but his hold on you is fierce. “Oh, god, I can’t do this,” you gasp, barely able to look at him.

You know you are being unfair to him in your reaction, but you feel betrayed. Betrayed by your body, betrayed by your mind, and betrayed by him, all at once. All logic is lost.

“Can’t do what, honey? I don’t understand what you’re goin’ on about,” Elvis asks in confusion, and you can tell by the roughness in his tone that he is frustrated but is trying to be patient with you. You don’t blame him. You must seem out of your mind, having a breakdown every other minute you are with him.

A deep part of you feels absolutely mortified at the entire situation. You’d had no idea that it was Elvis who’d found you and that something so horribly personal and tragic, your worst failure, was laid out before him so vulnerably. And to think he never mentioned it again makes you both grateful and angry. How could an experience like that be brushed under the rug, like nothing ever happened?

Suddenly all the beautiful bouquets of flowers he sent from afar in those weeks after it happened start to make a bit more sense, as does the distance that started to grow between you two. You had originally blamed it solely on him having to leave right away for Florida (he hadn’t even been there when I’d woken up in the hospital), then it was all the recording he’d needed to get done, and then just like that, he was out in Hollywood filming again. And when he was home after that, you remembered, he did not seek you out to spend any one-on-one time together. Now you wonder if he’d been purposefully avoiding you, and that makes you feel both offended and embarrassed.

You close your eyes, willing yourself to breathe somehow while still feeling like the world is closing in on you. The way your heart beats so quickly drives you to escape, but Elvis’ grip is like a vise, anchoring you to the spot. Everything hurts—a long-buried grief radiating through you like a tidal wave that has been held back far too long. Its icy flood consumes you, tightening your chest, and the healed scar on your belly feels like it’s being ripped open.

Finally, you say with shaking breaths, “I had a terrible nightmare. Or…or a memory, I’m not quite sure which…It felt—feels—so real, like it’s happening all over again.”

“What? What’s happening all over again?” Elvis asks with concern in his azure eyes.

“The baby. The night I lost the baby…god, there was so much blood. It was awful,” you choke out. “Were you really there? Was it you who found me, who held onto me?” you ask frantically, looking up at him for answers, for confirmation.

If you weren’t so consumed by the overpowering feelings rolling over you, you might catch the fleeting panic that flashes across his face before that unreadable mask he’s so carefully crafted over the years takes its place.

“What do you remember?” he asks evenly, calmly.

“Well, I…it’s all jumbled, flashes really. Being at the rink. Then suddenly blinding, horrible pain,” you grimace, arms wrapping around your abdomen, “and then I’m in your arms, bleeding everywhere, and everything gets distant and cold and numb and terrifying. And then it all fades away,” you whisper, looking at him for any sign of the truth of it.

You almost think you see relief in his eyes (why?), but it’s only for a second and then is gone. “That’s what you remember?”

You nod.

He continues, “Yeah, it was like that. I found you, baby. I held you until help got there. It was…awful,” he shudders, those almond eyes of his clouding, the memory obviously affecting him in some way.

“I…almost died,” you breathe. Of course, you logically already knew this to be true, but that was before you remembered how it felt.

“Yes, you did,” Elvis replies solemnly, his eyes churning with emotion, bringing his thumb to your cheek to wipe away the tears you have forgotten are falling.

“It hurts. Here. Now. I don’t know why,” you whisper. Though the pain has ebbed some, it still is intense, overwhelming. Perhaps it is because something about it still feels unfinished and hidden from you, like you are still missing some integral piece. You look at him as though he can give you the relief you so desperately seek, and you can’t help but feel that he is keeping something from you based on the look in his eyes.

“I don’t know either, but you’re safe now,” Elvis says, pulling you into him. He thinks he is good at shielding his emotions from you, and maybe he used to be, but now, after everything that has happened this past week, you can sense the turmoil beneath the softness of his pretty features. It sets you on edge. Enough secrets have been kept from you at this point in your life to recognize the signs, even if only intuitively.

Standing there on the roof, he rocks you gently, and the burning pain in your abdomen begins to subside, but is quickly replaced by unease, a rock of it forming in the pit of your stomach. Something is amiss and you can’t put your finger on it, but it has something to do with that terrible night. And with Elvis.

You watch him carefully as he leads you to the stairs, gingerly, like you might shatter into a million pieces. While you indeed felt that way only moments ago, worry and curiosity wind their way through your mind as you grasp at pieces of quickly-fading memories, searching for something, anything, that supports this intuitive feeling in your gut. You do not find it.

However, as you come back into his darkened suite, you are reminded of the fact that you should not be here, that your husband must be wondering where you got off to. It is nearly dawn, and you aren’t in your room.

And, oh dear lord, all the yelling and the noise that you and Elvis made earlier must have been overheard. Suddenly you are nauseous.

“Elvis,” you say, clasping his forearm in a panic.

“What, baby?” he looks at you, confused, concerned.

“We made a lot of noise earlier…”

A slow, wide grin spreads over his face, but that almost predatory darkness from before lingers in his eyes. “Oh, honey, I sent everyone away after that little stunt of yours in the bathroom with Jack,” he laughs, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He still isn’t happy about that.

Relief washes over you at the fact that your escapades remained private, although, you don’t know exactly who “everyone” is because his Mafia members were never too far from their master.

The unease is back, snaking through your mind. “I have to get back,” you say, “Jack must be wondering where I am.”

“He’s likely in the casino, and you, my dear, went back to Sandy’s room and fell asleep there.” The lie falls off his tongue so easily, and while you are grateful for the excuse, this ability of his gives you pause as you find the remnants of your clothes strewn about the room.

Everything feels off. It’s as though your dream-memory has exposed something, but you cannot put your finger on what, only that something about Elvis is itching at you.

Something important.

Your mind and your insides are still reeling from everything this night has entailed and uncovered. You shakily dress and try to clean yourself up before having to face the world outside of Elvis’ private suite. Between the wildly intense sex and the jarring memories your sleep unlocked, you are exhausted and wonder how you can possibly process any of this and still present “things as usual” to the rest of the world.

Finally ready to head out the door, Elvis stops you. “Wait,” he says, spinning you back to him and pulling you close. His luscious lips brush yours so sweetly, with such yearning, as if he hasn’t had you in nearly every way already tonight. You melt into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart under your palms, the warmth of him solid and comforting. You forget all your doubts and questions for the moment, unable to focus on anything but the pillowy softness of his gentle kisses and the way his strong hands cup your jaw and pull you to him. The man has you fully under his spell, and right now, as his tongue laps at yours, you do not care about anything else.   

When he pulls back, you whine at the loss of him, and being him, he senses your need, and gives you a cheeky smirk.

“Later, darlin’, I promise,” he says, brushing your cheek. “I want you backstage again tonight, okay?” It’s less of a question and more a gentle command.

You nod, getting lost in those endless blues of his. Then you shake yourself off and head out the door, shutting it quietly behind you in your best effort to sneak out, your mind beginning to whirl again the moment you are out of his presence.

Lost in a fog of thoughts, your focus is on the ground, so when you collide with another body in the hallway, you nearly jump out of your skin, flying backwards and catching yourself before you tumble to the ground.

“Well, shit,” a familiar voice intones slowly and with surprise as you look up.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Red.

Your eyes go wide as saucers as your brain tries to scramble up an excuse of why you’d be coming out of Elvis’ suite at this hour looking as you do, and you quickly realize that there is no other plausible explanation. Your mouth opens then closes aimlessly. And the smirk on Red’s face makes it quite clear that he understands the situation fully.

Your heart thunders in your ribcage as you stand frozen like a dear in headlights. This is very, very bad. Jerry is one thing—you have no doubts of his loyalty to Elvis and keeping his secrets. But Red, he is quite a different situation. He is loyal to Elvis, to be sure, but for a price. And he is friends with Jack and has been since the beginning. You had never taken to Red—something about him always irked you, but it was never truly an issue before this moment.

“Y/n, y/n, y/n,” Red tsks at you, a nasty gleam in his eye, “Now what kind’a trouble you been gettin’ up to?” It’s obvious he knows exactly what kind.

You finally find your voice. “Red,” you say in what you hope is a warning but considerate tone, “I’m sure we can both just forget this ever happened. We wouldn’t want to upset anyone.” There’s no need to say their names, you both know who you mean. But your voice is too shaky and even you can’t take yourself seriously.

“Hmm, maybe,” Red ponders infuriatingly. You want to wipe that smug look right off his face.

You both stand there staring for a minute before you finally straighten yourself. You desperately want to turn and go back to Elvis to plead with him to drop Red off somewhere in the middle of the desert, but you know E needs his rest and this conversation can’t happen now. So instead, you square your shoulders, dread pooling in your stomach.

“Excuse me, I have to be going,” you say a little haughtily.

Red just laughs, “I bet you do, sweetheart.”

The endearment is anything but, coming out snide instead. A cold shiver runs down your spine. Finally, you break the tension and push past him, trying to keep your gait steady and unhurried, when all you want to do is to sprint to the door. But you make it without doing so, holding your breath the whole way. Once in the hall, you pound the elevator button multiple times as if that will make a difference in how fast it arrives. Then you feel like you can breathe again, once tucked safely and blissfully alone inside the car, heading down.

You don’t trust Red. Not one bit.

Panic rises up from your stomach, an acidic, bitter bile. This is exactly what you’ve been afraid of. You can feel the rickety foundation of your lies begin to sway under your feet. Not only are you feeling unmoored because of whatever your dream-memory unlocked about Elvis that you can’t pinpoint, but this hits you where it hurts. You reap what you sow, and you have been sowing quite a bit.

All the doubt that Elvis washed away with his gentle kisses mere minutes ago comes back to hit you full force. You must end this, you’ve got to, and you know, oh god, you know it will break your heart, but you cannot live anymore with this fear that is eating you from the inside out.

You were never meant to be this person. You are not special, certainly not special enough to warrant true love from Elvis Presley. You are just a housewife from Tennessee whose husband is a liar and a cheat. You were bored and now you’re in over your head.

Get out. Run, as far away and as fast as you can! your mind screams at you. God, you can’t breathe. For the second time today, you feel as though the air has been stolen from your lungs and like the ground is crumbling underneath your feet.

You are not strong enough for this. You were not made for lying and cheating and sneaking around. The weight of it all feels untenable as you knock on Sandy’s door.

When it opens, she doesn’t even say a word. One look at you and she’s yanking you inside.

“Red knows,” you eek out before she has a chance to say anything.

“Shit,” she curses and brings you to sit down on the bed. Then she steals away, and you hear water running.

You don’t realize you are shaking until she hands you the glass of water and it nearly spills all over your dress. You gulp it down, suddenly parched.

“What the hell happened last night?” she finally asks, after you’ve downed the glass of water and manage to take in some slow breaths. “You disappeared with Jack,” she says with a wrinkle of her nose, “and then Elvis looked like he was gonna lose his damn mind and kicked everyone out, but you were nowhere to be found. Then, Jerry called and told me that if anyone asked, you were with me all night.”

Setting the empty glass on the side table, you put your head in your hands. “Oh, Sandy, I feel like every decision I am making is insane. I don’t even recognize myself.”

Sandy just looks at you with expectation in her eyes, waiting for you to explain yourself.

“Elvis and I had quite an…argument about me being with Jack. And then we had crazy, hot sex, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before,” you sigh and Sandy grins like an idiot. “Then he took me up on the roof to look at the moon, and I fell asleep and had this horrible—well, it was a nightmare, but I think it was actually a memory I repressed. Oh, it was awful.”

Sandy looks at you quizzically. “A repressed memory? What do you mean?”

“Well, you know I can’t have kids…but way back in ’60, I had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in me miscarrying and almost bleeding to death on the floor of the Rollerdome,” you ramble out, the water you just drank making you feel sick to your stomach.

“Oh my god, hon, that’s terrible,” she says pulling you in for a hug.

“Obviously, there are reasons I don’t talk about it, but also, I didn’t remember any of it. The doc said my brain did it to protect me from the trauma. Until this morning, I didn’t have any idea of what really happened. But now…I had these flashes, these glimpses, of the horrible pain. It was like living it all over again. Like I could feel it happening, San,” you say, clutching your stomach. “And what I didn’t realize was that Elvis was there for all of it. He was holding me and watching me die. There was blood everywhere.”

“Jesus,” Sandy breathes.

“And he never told me that he was there! How could we go through something like that together and him not say a damn word? And I swear something else happened, something he’s not telling me. I just feel like he’s hiding something about it, something I still can quite put my finger on,” you add rapidly.

“Well, honey, maybe it was traumatic for him, too. And I’m sure he didn’t want to make you relive all that,” Sandy says reasonably, patting your knee.

“That makes logical sense, San, I know it does, but it’s not just that, I’m telling you…I’ve been having these dreams, these memories, come up since being with him, things I am just now remembering. I don’t know,” you shake your head, frustrated. “It’s like a puzzle that is missing pieces and I just can’t quite put it all together.”

“How can I help, hon?” Sandy asks, her eyes comforting and kind.

“You’re doing it, babe, by just listening,” you say, squeezing her hand. “So, when I woke up from the dream, E seemed closed off about what I was telling him. I mean, he confirmed he was there, and that he’d held me, but I could just tell he wasn’t letting me in on everything. I feel like I’m noticing just how well and how easily he seems to bend the truth to suit his needs, and now I’m doing it, too,” you say, ashamed.

“And how does Red fit into all this?” she asks, eyes narrowed.

“Oh, god, yeah. I literally ran into him coming out of Elvis’ room. You should have seen the smug look on his face, San. I am so fucking screwed,” you sigh, flinging yourself back on the bed.

“Just tell Elvis! He won’t let Red get away with anything,” Sandy points out.

“I won’t see him until tonight, and by then, everyone might already know!” You look at Sandy frantically, pleadingly. “I feel crazy, and I hate all these stupid emotions! Jesus, who even am I anymore? Am I this woman who lies and cheats and hides things, not just from everyone, but from herself, too?”

Sandy looks at you, pausing as she seems to gather her thoughts. “Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, you are finally breaking free of everything that’s been holding you back? That you are just scared of all of this because it’s new and different and a risk? Before this last week, when was the last time you even took a risk, y/n? When was the last time you actually allowed yourself to really feel anything? Hon, you’ve spent so much time pushing down everything that you are and could be because of Jack and what you think you have to be for him. Maybe all this is just you becoming…you. Making decisions for yourself, ones that make you happy,” Sandy says with the love only she could give you.

You choke back a sob, “But who I am is an awful person, Sandy. I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m a liar and a cheat, which is everything I hate about Jack. I’m stuck in this dysfunctional marriage that I’m dependent on, and I was the reason we couldn’t build the big family we both wanted. I’m in love with someone I have no business being in love with, a man who is so utterly beyond my reach, who could never love me the way I need him to. I…God, I can’t even trust my memories!” Your utter heartbreak at everything aches through your chest, a painful reminder of everything you lack. Shaking with tears, you curl into a ball.

“Oh, hon,” Sandy says gently. She grabs your shoulders and hauls you up. “Look at me.”

You force yourself to meet her gaze, tears leaking from your eyes.

“You have to stop beating yourself up, baby. You’re not perfect, none of us are, but you are certainly not an awful person, not one little bit. You are full of love and kindness and talent, and you’ve put yourself last for so damn long that putting yourself first feels wrong to you,” she says so matter-of-factly that you have no choice but to listen.

“But I’ve made such a mess of things,” you whimper.

“Yeah, well, Jack pushed you to it, hon. And Elvis, well, he’s Elvis, and resisting that man takes a fortitude of will that not many women possess. What I’m saying is, this is not all on you.”

But you still feel like a powder keg about to explode, all your anguish and self-doubt clawing its way out of you, ripping you to shreds along the way.

“No, no, no. I have to…I have to end this,” you shake your head, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. It feels like hell.”

Sandy purses her lips and gives you a look. “Did you even listen to a word I just said, hon? Let me make it clearer for you: You love Elvis. You don’t love Jack, not anymore. Leave the fucker and go be with the man you love, guilt free! Jack’s a big boy, he’ll survive.”

She makes it sound so easy, but it is anything but, at least to you, and you’re the one living it. “I can’t, Sandy, I can’t just do that! I’m dependent on Jack, who is dependent on Elvis. Without either of them, I have nothing. No job, no money, nothing. So tell me what happens when E gets tired of me, huh? Then I will literally be out on the street, Sandy!” you yell.

“God, you are just determined to be miserable, aren’t you? So determined that you are blind to the obvious!” Sandy shakes her head in frustration, then takes a deep, calming breath before lowering her voice to continue, “I can’t make you feel that you are enough—only you can do that, hon. But you are. You are enough for me, and certainly enough for Elvis.”

“You don’t know that, Sandy! Besides, Elvis is keeping shit from me, too! And I haven’t been enough for Jack for a long time!” you holler.

“Fuck Jack, y/n! Fuck him! He’s not worthy of you, not the other way around. You have to start to see that, hon!” she yells back, her cheeks reddening.

“None of that changes the situation! Red knows, and you and I both know he’s gonna make trouble, and it’s gonna all blow back on me. I’m trapped. I’m trapped in all of it, my marriage, this affair, the lies, this fucking insane world of Elvis’! I can’t…Fuck this shit,” you say, standing up, every nerve in your body flying on a horrible roller coaster than you can’t seem to get off of.

The only solution you can see is to remove yourself from the equation.

“I’m gonna say goodbye to Elvis, to Vegas, to all of it. I’m leaving on the first plane out of here tonight,” you say with finality, standing up. It makes you feel like you finally have some semblance of control over your life.

“Y/n. I don’t think this is the solution you think it is, hon—” Sandy starts.

“Look, I appreciate everything you are trying to do here, but I’m the one living this, not you, and it feels like hell right now. I need out. I’m going home,” you say harshly, swiping the tears off your face. It’s like you are pulling a steel door over all the turmoil you’ve been feeling, shutting out the pain so you can do what you should have done days ago.

You don’t want to relive the trauma of your miscarriage or remember all these fleeting and confusing moments with Elvis anymore. You don’t want to think about what Elvis is hiding from you, because you just know it’s something important and you can’t take another man you love lying to you. You don’t want to see Jack. You don’t want to completely upend everything you’ve known for the last fourteen years. You don’t want to be in love with a man who could never truly love you back the way you need him to. Because they never do.

And your heart aches in every way—for the baby you never met, for the man you used to love, and for the man you love now—it all radiates through you like poison, threatening to cripple you. You can’t stay like this. Anything to escape these horrible feelings, this seemingly unending wave of fear and uncertainty.

Sandy looks at you resigned and disapprovingly, shaking her head. “Fine. You do what you gotta do. But running away ain’t gonna solve anything.”

The hell it won’t.

*

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[spicymoonmenace]

Hey! Love the new drabble cause the writing is great. But I'd also recommend putting an SA tw on the post as while nothing happens in the end, it's still fitting for the drabble, and some people can handle just violence but would be triggered by the sa aspects that are in there. Sorry if this comes off rude or nit-picky, I just feel like it'd be better to let you know. Please have a wonderful day

Nah you're not being rude or nit-picky at all Anon! I agree it should probably have some kind of SA warning on there, I apologize for not considering that before I posted. I'll admit I'm a bit sleepy brained so that's completely on me.

I've gone ahead and deleted the drabble for now. I think I might consider slapping it on AO3 with ample warnings and stuff so people aren't blind sighted. I know not everyone can handle some of the topics in the AU so I wanna try my best to label them accordingly and make sure those who don't want to see it don't have to.

Also, I'm saying this as gently as I can, if any of y'all can't handle topics like abuse and SA I'd highly highly highly advise y'all to avoid this AU cause it can get pretty rough in terms of those kinds of topics. While they aren't the main focus, that kind of stuff does happen in it, especially with Dante and Eclipse. (Also I'll take the time to say that I don't condone this kind of toxic behavior, it's vile and reprehensible. I don't glorify it or make it the main focus. But I also think it's ok for these kinds of characters and topics to exist and be explored fictitiously for story telling purposes.) Just wanting to make sure y'all know where my views lie on it!

I'll try to be better about what I post on here and how I tag things. I'm sincerely sorry about that! 🙇

#spicymenace ask

[nyanashima]

The Brothers with an MC who has OCD

INCREDIBLY self-indulgent as I haven't seen many OCD MC posts, and I needed some blorbo comfort.

Since OCD is often misrepresented in media, feel free to write in with other obsessions/etc if you feel so inclined. I'll try my best to write about them in another post :)

Content warnings: contamination triggers, symmetry/perfection obsessions, self-destructive compulsions. Stay safe y'all <3

Please let me know if I missed any triggers in the tags!

Lucifer

He already knows.

Lucifer read up on you before you came. He knows what you struggle with and how it affects you, at least to some degree. He has to do Diavolo proud, and that includes staying on top of the exchange student’s wellbeing.

It's through living with you that really helps Lucifer get a better understanding of your triggers. After all, you can only get so much from reading the DSM-5

He sees you erase and rewrite your notes in class, over and over, until you’re completely behind on the lecture. He hovers silently in the doorway to the kitchen, watching you arrange the dishes symmetrically in the cupboard

He notices your hands, dry and cracked and sometimes bleeding from washing and sanitizing. He sees your midnight laundry runs after Mammon makes himself at home in your room, and how the bleach wipes disappear much faster than they did before. Lucifer watches your breathing quicken for all the wrong reasons when Asmo hangs off your arm.

He feels bad. It’s not like he can comfort you, with him being emotionally constipated and all. So he does the next best thing: problem solve.

Lucifer calls you to his study one night. You poke your head in, anticipating some sort of punishment— instead, he invites you to sit down for an honest conversation.

He doesn’t pry. As a private person, he understands keeping your emotions guarded. He does, however, make it clear he sees the toll they're taking on you.

He offers treatment— if you’re unmedicated, would you like to see someone for the anxiety? Would you benefit from therapy? He’d be happy to accompany you to the human world for your appointments, if that’s what you need.

Of course, lecturing his brothers about their behaviour is always on the table.

If none of those sound right, he finds himself staring at his gloves. He offers to update your wardrobe to something that better suits your needs— your jacket buttoning in the middle rather than off to one side, gloves to avoid direct touch, you name it. It’s yours.

“I want to help you, MC. Not out of pity, I simply don’t want to see a loved one in pain. Tell me what you need, and you’ll get it— you have my word.”

Mammon

Hoo boy.

Yeah, you’re gonna have to tell him, or ask Lucifer to tell him for you.

He’s a tactile guy. He’s always dragging you by the arm, yanking your jacket, ruffling your hair, and Devil knows what else.

Once you tell him, you’re probably gonna have to explain it a bit. It’s been a while since he’s paid attention to human emotions lol.

After that, he’s fantastic– well, he tries. Old habits die hard.

He recoils like he just touched a hot stove the second his fingers brush your skin. He always follows it up with a “Shit– sorry.”

If you’re particular about how you keep your room, again, he tries not to touch anything impulse control strikes again.

He will get it eventually, but for the first little while it’s probably best to hang out in his room.

If you don’t want the others to know, he’ll be even more protective than before when they get touchy. It’s hard to bite his tongue, but he’ll play it off like his usual possessiveness. He’s surprisingly good at keeping it a secret.

If you’re fine with them knowing, he will NOT hesitate to give them an earful. You’re his human, and nobody touches you unless you say it’s okay!

Doesn’t really understand the symmetry or perfection stuff, but hey, everyone’s different. He’ll wait for you if you have to bump your other shoulder against the doorframe until it’s even.

Overall very supportive. A little confused, but he’s got the spirit.

“…Huh. Well, as yer first, it’s still my job to take care of ya. That means this, too– so don’t think The Great Mammon’s gonna let it bother ya again, y’hear?”

Leviathan

Picks up on it a little, but doesn’t quite connect the dots

Not super familiar with human mental illnesses… He’d notice some of your unusual behaviours, but assume they’re just quirks.

Somehow fails to realize some of his quirks are because he’s neurodivergent too (it’s okay buddy we’ve all been there)

TOTALLY understands when you tell him. Well, kind of. At first he thinks you just don’t want him touching you, but after you explain it he’ll rant with you for hours. It’s not the same as the existential dread that comes from lending someone a pencil, but he gets being particular and nervous about your stuff.

He’ll get a special blanket for you to sit on while gaming in his room, only for your ass and therefore your germs. Will get you your own controller for the same reason (and maybe a matching one for himself teehee). No one else is allowed to touch your stuff, not even him— he’ll pick them up with gloves or a Kleenex if he needs to move them, even when you’re not around.

I don’t really have much more to say about him? Just tell him what you need him to do and he’ll do it without hesitation. Super respectful and understanding.

“Y’know… You don’t have to feel bad about it, okay? You’ll always be my Henry, so as long as we can still play games and stuff, I’m happy. And even if we can’t! I’ll do what I can to make you more comfortable, so you can always hide out in here if outside becomes too much… AARAARRUGHGHHUG DSJVNALVBSLKJN WHAT AM I SAYING that was so cringe forget I said anything ok bye”

Satan

Surprisingly, he doesn’t diagnose you the second you fall through the portal.

Instead, he watches you go about your day, and notices something’s off. Then he researches.

And then he does tests.

Not exactly the most empathetic guy, considering the fact that he, y’know, tortured people. So at first he’s not opposed to giving you a spit wash. He wants to see how you’ll react, and how much you can take.

Once you get closer, he catches on and starts acting according to what he thinks you need.

He’ll set cutlery aside for you when he does the dishes, he’ll leave your laundry alone when you forget it in the dryer (but nag you to come get it so he can swap out his clothes), et cetera.

If you open up to him about it, his curious nature takes hold. Hope you’re ready for an interrogation interview, because he’s got LOTS of questions.

Lets you vent to him and will bitch in return. He’s neurodivergent as fuck so likelihood is he gets irked by the same stuff

“MC, I’ve lived with my brothers for millennia. If you think some odd habits are going to bother me, you’re sorely mistaken. All that matters is that you’re happy. If you ever need anything, please come to me first. I’ll do everything in my power to help.”

Asmodeus

Doesn’t really get it, but he’ll go along and be respectful.

He’ll have a hard time not getting touchy at first, but like Mammon, he jerks away and apologizes once he catches himself.

Kicks himself every time because consent is suuuuper important to him (same with the other bros but. Y’know). Learns to keep his hands to himself pretty quick

Gives you tons of lotions, salves, and moisturizers to keep your hands in good shape if they get dry from washing

Will modify your spa days to make them more comfortable for you

Interrogates you about your clothing needs.

What textures work best for you?

Are there any patterns or cuts you can’t wear, or any you prefer?

Tell him everything. He’ll keep it in mind when dressing you up

Will not hesitate to tear someone to shreds if they say anything rude to you. He can pinpoint someone’s biggest insecurities in two seconds flat, and he will.

He might not understand, but that doesn’t stop him from loving and protecting you fiercely and unconditionally.

“Oh, hon, why didn’t you say so before! I’ll try to keep my hands to myself from now on. It’ll be hard, though, considering just how cute you are~!”

Beelzebub

This boy…

He loves his family. We know this.

Beel’s devoted quite a bit of time to learning about how his brothers’ brains work. He’s probably one of the most prepared and mindful of the bunch.

When you tell him, he accepts it without question.

He’ll prod for more information, if you’re willing to share, but gets it if you don’t wanna talk about it. If you do, he’ll listen for hours.

Loves to learn about you, period. OCD can be such a complex and significant piece of someone’s feelings and behaviour, so while he doesn’t like the parts that upset you, he’ll take in any information you give. He remembers every single word and puts it all to use. Just wants you to feel more at ease

Examples of things I think he’d do:

Put the dishes away symmetrically when it’s his turn to wash them, and push them into place if he notices they’ve shifted

Put takeout onto a clean plate for you so you don’t have to touch the container

If he sees any of your things laying about the house, he’ll use the dog poop maneuver to pick it up with a plastic bag and stick it in your room so no one else touches it

He’s just. Really thoughtful. And he loves you so much

“Alright, I think I get it. That must be hard. I’m here if you need to talk, okay?”

Belphegor

Doesn’t really notice lol. Unless you’re recoiling every time he goes to touch you, he’s clueless

Familiar with human mental illness, but may need a refresher. It’s been a while since he’s seen a human, or, y’know, been allowed outside

Will IMMEDIATELY stop touching you as soon as you set your boundaries. Belphie is very good at breaking habits and doesn’t really rely on one specific way of showing affection, so it is what it is

He’s bummed if you can’t nap with him, of course. It doesn’t take him long to find a workaround, though— he gives you two stuffed animals. You cuddle one until it smells like you, then give it to him and take the other one. He snuggles the first until it loses its “MC smell,” washes it, and gives it back to you. You give him the second one, and the cycle continues

Can’t really empathize, but he can offer a shoulder to cry on and a “that sucks” when you need it. Great listener until he falls asleep lmao

Belphie isn’t considerate in the way Beel is, but he’s still considerate. The difference is energy, really— he can’t really put in much effort, but he does remember what your triggers are and to be respectful. So while he won’t reorganize any shelves for you, he’ll remind his brothers of little things to make your life easier.

“Damn that’s crazy. Anyway”

“Oh, okay. That kind of makes sense. Is there… anything you want me to do?”

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #leviathan obey me #satan obey me #asmo obey me #asmodeus obey me #beelzebub obey me #beel obey me #belphegor obey me #belphie obey me #obey me shall we date #ocd tw #mc with ocd #autistic satan #autistic levi #tw self destructive behavior #tw ocd #omswd headcanons

[rottenxcherries]

♥ Intro Post ♥

!!!WARNING!!!

This blog will contain triggering content such as noncon, violence, stalking, etc.

You can call me Rotty, Rotten, or Cutiepie! (⌒▽⌒)☆

I'm 24, Agender (any pronouns), and bisexual!

Starting to get back into the kink community on tumblr so I figure a sideblog to vent on wouldn't hurt. Little about me, I'm an erotica writer and a kink enthusiast, and while I am a switch, this blog is all about my subspace. Mostly reblogs, occasional text posts + fantasies, possibly selfies if y'all want!

Not everything on this blog will be dark but it'll be a common theme so please be okay with that if you follow!

Do!: Follow me, interact with my posts in any way, send me asks! Flirting is very welcome!

Don't!: Use sub honorifics for me without getting to know me first. Ask for my socials on anon! Be a douche!

I'm not into everything but I don't hate! My only DNI criteria is the typical homophobia/racism/transphobic stuff, and of course MINORS DNI! I don't tag anything by default but if you want a specific kink tagged please let me know!

Hope to meet you soon <3

Tags:

#rotspeak - text posts or comments on other people's posts

#covers face - the posts I'm low-key ashamed of

[adventuretolkienlover]

IMPORTANT: ON HIATUS. SORRY. :( We'll be back soon!

Hello internet people! Call me JP! No, I am not named after JP Morgan. Yes, I am really that short. And no, I am not twelve years old. Now that we're done with all that, let's get on with WHY I'M HERE!

I'm a writer, artist, a Christian, Tangled and Scooby Doo fanatic, and fun local weirdo! I love supporting my besties and making and Rebloging fun stuff for y'all to enjoy!

So I hope you enjoy this blog and the content it provides.

But first! Some house rules and regulations! And What I've got to offer. It's all Below the cut! Please read.

1: This blog is kept mostly G-PG and family friendly! No dirty language or inappropriate topics! HOWEVER, I can't control what other people say, so unless it has warnings in the title, post, or introduction, PLEASE check the tags. I can't guarantee that reblogs and comments won't have cussing and other triggering stuff. So if you're young, please be mindful.

2: I'm an artist and writer. So I will post homemade content here! But please do not repost art or writing without permission. Reblogs and likes are just fine though! And so are comments as long as they are respectful!

3: This blog is a safe place. So please no cyber bullying! We can all respect each other. Conversation and discussion is okay though! Just like in point number 2, keep it respectful! Any and all Cyber Bullies and Hate Commenters will be blocked for the safety of the blog's followers.

ASKS: Here's the rules for the asks!

Anonymous asks are OFF. You have to be okay with your blog being seen. No exceptions. It's just so I know who's talking to me.

Any and all hate mailers will be blocked, and reported. I won't read or answer any hate mail either.

Nothing inappropriate or sexual. This is big one! I do not do anything with this kind of stuff. Never! So a big no no! If you do send something like this in, you are at risk of me blocking you.

Please no cussing or rude language. This is only because my blog is kept G-PG and I try my best to keep all content that way. Family Friendly is my motto!😁 You're more likely to get your ask posted if you don't cuss. So please, no dirty language.

I might not be able to or want to answer every ask. Please keep that in mind.

No requests! At all! Unless I have a post stating that I'm accepting them. There will be a post stating when they are closed afterward as well. So please make sure before sending in any.

I don't answer questions that touch on sensitive info on me. This is just basic internet safety. That doesn't mean you can't ask questions about me though! Here's an example. (Good Questions: What's your favorite color?/What kind of movies do you like?) (Bad Questions: What you're phone number?/Where do you live?)

I love getting asks about my art and writing. So don't be afraid to ask questions about it! Send them in! They're some of my favorite things to talk about! Just know that I will probably info dump you.😂

Here's my Side Blog. It's just starting up. But it will be full of fun clean humor and memes!

FANFIC LIST: Here's a list of all my fics so far. It will get longer eventually.

VAT7K Alchemy Bros AU:

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 1: Epilogue and a Prelude)

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 2: Home at Last!)

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 3: Good Impressions)

Chicken Troubles

Blood Brothers

Varian's First Lab Partner (Short Story)

Ruddigar's Surprise! (Mother's Day Special!)

Sick Days (Sicktember 2023)

Alright! That's all for now! Have a nice day! And God Bless! ❤️❤️❤️

#Masterposts #my art #my writing

[zasaka-studio]

Request/prompt page:

Overhauled: 1

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This is where you'll find the most of my works, also please don't be afraid to ask me something!

REQUESTS: OPEN

Note: As this is one of my many different accounts, as i do not know how to switch it I'll just be talking through @totalistreborn so there's no confusion! ↴

Defaults: AFAB, yandere (ofc), male yandere, other stuff I'll make up if you didn't deliberately ask, so be specific!

Linked accounts!~: @Unholy-Crusaiders @totalistreborn

Please give me some resemblance of a plot, though it's no big deal if you don't!

Overhaul post: 💌✨💌

Also i forgot to say that all NSFW posts will be highlighted in Red

Ao3~ 💌✨

Wattpad: TongaTime (couldn't link it)

WIP: Here]~

Master list: Here]~

Hope you find these interesting!~

Massive Announcement!!! (Do not skip)

Also side note, i DO NOT condone, encourage or support the behaviors that come with the term “Yandere”.

-

And any of this is NEVER okay. As well as BE okay. I just wanted to say that the only place that this should exist is in FICTION only. I only like to write about it. Thanks for listening!

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Rules;

You can ask me anything! A drabble an idea, maybe a character idea- it's all good!

-

But also, you can be as wild as you want! Really i don't mind. Except for a few that I'm listening below ➘➘➘

Necrophilia

Nekos

Scat or piss kinks (personal no)

Any sort of harassment

Saying that yandere is a dream come true or something that it is not (go to Massive Announcement!!! For my opinion)

-

You can pick from my prompt list - Here-✨

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Navigation system!!!

IK this is already long as shit but I want to make it easy for people to find in filter out the stories you like to read. So here are the translations!

☕ = My own story/ idea/ post i made myself

✨ = Requested by you guys~

💌📨〜 = Author stuff / Anon asks

❌ = No longer writing for (character) / can be changed if I feel like it

🔞 = NSFW, the violence, harassment, blood/gore type of tag. Or for things that may trigger people, (prob most of my posts)

🔥<3 = Sexual Content

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Prompts:

!Warnings!: NSFW mentions, abuse, stereotypical yandere stuff,

Will be updated a lot with new ideas! (y'all can request prompts of you're own too!)

Also due to the prompts being changed, earlier requests will be changed to fit the new batch of prompts

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1. “ah, look... there’s blood all over me.”

2.“in the end... you’re only good for being with me. you’re useless at anything else, aren’t you?”

3.“i’m sorry for stealing your personal belongings... now that you’re here forever, i can return them!”

4.“nothing. without you- i’m... nothing.”

5.“sure, i’ll let you run away. but if i catch you... then it’s fair game for me to do what i want.”

6.“feeling dizzy? well, it’s too late to realize: you already ingested what i slipped in your drink.”

7.“aah, forgive me for what i must do... i just can’t live on without you...!”

8.“if you think of leaving, i’ll make death seem like a blessing to you.”

9.“well, maybe if you’d accepted my confession, all these people wouldn’t have had to die...”

10.“it’s cute how you think you have a choice!”

11.“i don’t care if you think i’m a monster; i’ve decided you’re mine.”

12.“you have no idea... the things i’ve done while thinking of you, darling...”

13.“i tried my best to be a normal lover... but it simply won’t work. you understand, right?”

14.“you don’t know how much i hate being this way- but i can’t change.”

15.“anyone who could rescue you is already dead. give up.”

16.“if you keep screaming, you could damage your vocal cords- go ahead, i don’t mind.”

17.“the more you squirm, the more excited i’ll get.”

18.“apologize? why would i? i haven’t done anything i didn’t have the right to.”

19.“i’m trying really hard to be nice to you here, but you’re making it real hard.”

20.“want to escape? tell me, what other person would ever love someone like you?”

21.“the outside is so dangerous, don’t you see? if i wasn’t here to protect you, who knows what would happen to you...”

22.“i tried my best to be a normal lover... but it simply won’t work. you understand, right?”

23.“you just aren’t fit to be on the outside world. stay here with me- i’ll take care of you.”

24.“i don’t care if it’s the drugs making you speak; say you love me, again.”

25.“don’t look at me like that... you know i do everything i do because i love you.”

26.“you’re so sweet... i’m addicted to your presence.”

27.“There is no one who's more loyal than me! I'm tied to you, just like you are to me.”

28.“i ordered you to stay quiet. stop crying.”

29.“why are you so ungrateful? there’s nobody else other than me who could ever love such a miserable creature like you.”

30.“if i was you, i wouldn’t bother trying to escape. you’re too weak.”

31.“Kiss me. Now.”

32.“i wish i could love you the normal way.”

33.“i’ve tried to be tolerant, but your disobedience has reached a limit i cannot ignore.”

34.“that’s right, just accept me... you’ll be so happy with me...”

35.“i didn’t mean to- no, god, i love you so much...! how could i have done this?”

36."from now on, you're my pet- go on, keep me entertained"

37."don't you dare think of anyone other than me"

38."it's ok if you don't love me, i'll still do whatever i want"

39."you look beautiful when you sleep... i'd know- i watched you, after all"

40."did you think you could escape me...? don't you know we're meant for each other? you're destined to return to me"

41."say you love me, or else i might do something we both won't like"

42."are you so desperate for human contact you'll come to me? good, that was the point"

43."well, you can sleep here with me, or i could chain you up and make you sleep on the ground. it's your choice"

44."all i ever asked was for you to love me back... are you so selfish you won't even give me that?"

45."if you're smart, you're going to stop struggling and kiss me back right now"

46."i'll use you to my heart's content. don't you dare complain- it's what you deserve"

47."i never claimed to be a good person. if you didn't want this to happen, you shouldn't have made me fall in love with you"

48."did you think you could escape me...? don't you know we're meant for each other? you're destined to return to me"

49.“i’m starting to think you’re a bit of a masochist. i mean, why else would you keep angering me over and over again?”

50.“stop crying- you made me mad. tears aren’t getting you out of this one.”

51.“if you behave, we’re all going to be happy here, so why do you keep acting out?”

52.“i’ll count to three, and you better say you love me, or else i’ll do something neither of us will like.”

53.“apologize?”

54.“"do you honestly think I enjoy hurting you?"

55."controlling? oh, i'll show you controlling!"

56."don't worry sweetheart, i'll never leave your side."

57.“you belong to me. i own you, body and soul.”

58.“what is it you don’t understand? nobody is ever going to love you like i do. nobody will ever understand how i feel about you.”

59.“i was normal, you know? you awoke something inside of me- you fucked me up.”

60.“i threw away all my morals for you; i don’t care if what i do is wrong anymore.”

61.“toxic relationship...? my, i think you’re a bit confused- i’m simply taking care of you, don’t you know?”

62.“i hunger for you, darling. your beauty, your presence; i need them like i need air.”

63.“perhaps you’re right in that i don’t love you, at least in the traditional sense. i’m obsessed with you- i need you, more strongly than the word love can imply.”

64. “You’re absolutely perfect.”

65. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it all go away”

66.“who are they gonna believe? It's your word over mine.”

67. “I promise to be by your side forever and ever and ever.”

68. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just loved me.”

69. “Smile for me. It makes me feel better.”

70. “I would never hurt you, but I wouldn’t hesitate to kill them.”

71. “Just... Ngh, take it for me?.”

72. “I promise to be by your side forever and ever and ever.”

73. " I will kiss you until your lips bleed. Just let me have this , I wanted to do this for so long."

74. “You know what I’m capable of, so just smile and play along.”

75. “Close your eyes, you don’t want to see this.”

76. “You don’t need to be scared of me, I’d never hurt you.”

77. " You agreed to be mine so you must feel the same!"

78. “i said I'd find you no matter where you are.’’

79. " Say you love me! Please say you love me! It's all I want to hear for the rest of my life!"

80."did you think you could escape me...? don't you know we're meant for each other? you're destined to return to me."

81. " Kissing you like this is all I ever wanted."

82. “Stop yelling! You don’t know what you’re saying!”

83. " I was the one that wrote that love letter !"

84. " I don't care if your eyes are filled with love or hate, I just want you to look at me."

85. " Ooh I love you- too much it seems...”

🌠

#yandere demon slayer #dark themes #demon slayer angst #yandere core #yandere kny x reader #yandere x reader #yandere aesthetic #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #yandere kokushibou #kny smut #yandere+demon+slayer+x+reader #yandere tanjirou kamado #yandere upper moons x reader #yandere yoriichi x reader #yandere mitchikatsu #yandere hashira #yandere muzan

[succfest]

Happy Succession Sunday folks!

So here it is, the official announcement post for the SUCC Fest! This should give you about a little less or more than a week's time depending on when you decide to post your work.

Share this post, so other can see it and take part! <3

But before, you scroll onto the prompts and their explanations, here's some important things!

Introduction

Well, who are we? Here's a brief introduction to us:

Clover: Hi! I'm @your-machiavellian-cousin-clover :) I got into Succession around March of this year, and it's never left me ever since. Well, I usually hang out in Tomgreg spaces, so if you've seen the "Everyone ships Tomgreg", "Matt Mac ships Tomgreg", or Richard Siken-ification of Tom Wambsgans, that's me *waves*

If you see colour purple in the doc, that's me speaking individually!

Elise: Hi folks! it's me! elise! who u probably know better as @feuillytheflorist and u might know me even better from my absurd au's (the tomgreg pirates? the tomgreg horror radio? those were me lol!) I'll be speaking in red.

<3

Ground Rules

E: What it says below. Lets keep this a safe and inclusive space for everybody!

C: Well, as Elise put it the other day, "don't be an asshole, and don't be a creep." No incest ships. No Bigotry. I think that covers out bases. Also since this fest is open to all, please tag your trigger warnings (if applicable) and keep it sfw y'all!

Tag us and the blog so we can reblog y'all's work and tag it under #succ fest

<3

And Finally, The Prompts!

1. Tis is the Season for anything!

C: Well, as it says on the label, this one's all about the season. But honestly, it doesn't have to Christmas. This time of the year is very festive to different group of people, so go for it!

E: Tis the season and all that, it's December, and all that goes with that-- gift giving, hot drinks, christmas trees, and, if it's your thing,,, angst!

2. Well, here’s the punchline

E: We do love and respect crack ships and crack aus. If you want to do something off the walls, wild, or downright silly, now's your time!

C: In this house we respect crack ships. Whether it be Glowstick Greg x Mr Tom Darcy, which you have a free reign to write about, or something extremely implausible. Go for it! Make us crackle and laugh at your works!

3. One Word Special: Hot Topic

C: Well, for reasons undisclosed, me and Elise both have a soft spot for Hot Topic, and well, Hot Topic Greg is our beloved. This is very open to be interpreted, so well, it could be a throwaway line, a setting or the main plot point.

E: Hot Topic, the love of my life. Greg and those silly red suspenders. Take this however you like!

4. Here On Broadway!

E: I know there's succession broadway stans out there, I know you listen to your favorite show and think about your favorite terrible roy. I want to think about them too!

C: Well, don't look at me here, I think Elise's ideas should help you out, much more than I can. I'm pretty much a Hamilton girlie and that's it, so yup! No advice here! Go check out Elise's showtunes Tomgreg playlist though. Might help ?

5. From The Poets

C: Now this here, this is my stuff. Show me the verses that make you think of your poor little meow meows, your besties, and your codings. Make web weavings, gifs, fancams with poetry recitations and your fics with poetry titles. Show me your Richard Siken, Ada Limón, Ginsberg, and everyone else, make me cry, scream and yearn.

E: I'm no Shakespeare, but make this as artsy as you like. What are poems, really, if not vessels for us to talk about fictional characters and the love we have for them.

6. Rarepair, Rarefic

E: Rarepairs need love too! We've all been there, done that. If you have a rarepair that has a place in your heart, share it with the world. Perhaps it won't be so rare anymore!

C: Well, I'm looking very intently at Stewy/Willa folks here, cause y'all, I've been binging your fics and they are good! Well, this prompt is simple, if your characters interacted in canon, how would their interaction go? Do you have words, pictures, or even vibes to offer? Well, show them to us!

7. Give Us A Soliloquy!

C: Well, get into the head of your favourite character, show me the world through their ideas, give me their musings and broodings, make me feel like as if I'm Jeremy Strong method acting by the end of all of this. (Okay, it's alright if it's not very intense, but you know, turn up the angst to a 100 if you want to)

E: Character analysis, Shakespearian monologue, and everything in between. I know this fandom has spectacular character analysis, and we wanna hear it! Focus on your fave (or your least favorite, no judgements) and tell us what they really feel.

8. Fast Forward

E: Down the road a bit... what's happening? Who's got kids? Who's divorced? Who's the CEO? Who's finally in jail for their crimes? It's up to you!

C: Well, what happens in a year or two, or a decade or so later? Do they sink or swim? Who lives? Who dies? Who tells their story? (I'm very sorry, but I'm putting in the only theatre references I know for Elise)

9. In-between The Scenes

C: Show us what you think gets left behind on the cutting floor of HBO. The in-betweens, the travel, the moments where the camera is not on our favourite messes, who are they then?

E: Missing scenes galore! What'd Tom and Greg do after their diner date? Where did Roman go after Kendall's birthday? The world-- all three seasons of it-- is your oyster.

10. Free Square On The Bingo

E: Wanna write something that doesn't fit? Got an art piece you want to share? Got a hyper specific playlist you need everyone to hear? Here's the place for it!

C: Well, if you don't like any of the prompts, and still wanna make something to take part, go ahead! This is your dance floor, show us the best moves!

11. Kiss, Kiss, Kiss

C: I am not above quoting the famous video by our queen, Justine Lupe, where she rightfully says, "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss!". Well, just this is here for you to experiment with!

E: What it says on the tin! Your favorite character getting a smooch! Mondale giving a kiss! Parents and children! Husbands and wives! Someone and their celebrity crush!

12. Back To The Past

E: Everybody loves a backstory-- but there's plenty of characters and relationships that have yet to be explored! Go ahead and speculate on some of 'em!

C: ✨Take Me Back To The Night We Met ✨Well, do we see Stewy meeting Kendall, Connor being a Dad to his siblings, Tom before he ever met Shiv? Do you wanna show us? Go ahead!

13. #Trending

C: Social Media AU. Tweets, Scandals, Tabloids, Notes, Reblogs, etc, etc. Need I say more?

E: Who doesn't love a social media au? I for one think there's a whole subreddit dedicated to the Roy family antics.

14. In Another Time, In Another Life

E: As you may have noticed... i love a historical au....maybe you do too?

C: Mhm, can we get some P&P aus? Or some obscure as heck history aus? Love those. I will give you a big hug <3

15. Through The Fortune Orb

C: Well, in contrast to the other prompt, we'd love to see you predict what would happen in S4? Tomgreg hooking up? (I am def projecting), Romangerri marriage, or something else? Free reign, bois.

E: Where's season four going? What goes on in the writer's room? You tell us?

16. What’s The Colour?

E: Everybody's got a favorite one. What's yours?

C: This one's for the visuals. Well, what's your favourite colour, hue, palette? Go crazy, tell me through your work!

17. The First

C: Pretty open-ended. This one's just for the firsts!

E: First kiss, first date, first fight-- first anything!

18. “Family”

E: Family is everything... or is it? Create a new one, or focus on a preexisting one!

C: I .. know .. uh .. Succession is not the best for tender family moments. But they have em there, and maybe you could create your own or just expound upon the ones already in the show?

19. Character Wrapped

C: Well, what's your Spotify mood? And put it towards your fav character / ship (Apparently mine was euphoric and wistful 🙄 I blame Elise for getting me hooked on her playlist and Taylor Swift)

E: Mine was spooky and affectionate! What was yours? And who does it fit?

20. Louder For The Ones In The Back

E: Background characters, my beloved, time for you to shine!

C: Who's always in the background? Show them some love! Write / Create some for the besties who don't get enough screen time <3

21. Time For A Feast!

C: Well, food shares a central position on Succession. Whether it explosive family feasts, sensual songbirds, or a quick bite under the night lights,, sometimes our faves deserves some good / terrible food.

E: They're always eating! Eggs! Pigeon! Wine! Diner food! Whatever you like!

22. I Think, Therefore I Write

E: Time to be pretentious. No judgements. It's my favorite thing. Are we destined to become our parents? What is the affect of forcing yourself to become someone you're not? Take this one how you like, and let's hear how smart I know you all are!

C: Get philosophical, get on Jeremy Strong's level, get pretentious. Problem of Evil? Contemplating Existence? Put your best philosophical foot forward!

23. Shake It Up!

C: Ever wanted to write even though you're an artist? Or vice versa? Well, here's your time to do so! Indulges in an art form you don't usually do so and try it out! Judgement free zone here!

E: Writers can draw! Drawers can write? Never drawn a fan art? Now's the time!

24. Give Us The Classics

E: We've all got a favorite! Only one bed, enemies to lovers, kidfic-- what's your favorite classic trope?

C: Well, what's the fanfic trope you'd die for?? This prompt is for that!

25. Switch, Swap!

C: Well, do you have a bestie in the fandom? Ever wanted to collaborate with someone, here's your chance to do so! Create fan art and maybe your friend can write a ficlet for it? Well, possibilities are limitless.

E: Pair up! Co-write a fic! Draw art for someone's work! Make a playlist together. Analyze someone over DM.

26. Take Your Fandom Somewhere

E: Coffee shop au? College roommates? Florist and tattoo parlor? With a thousand settings, what's your favorite place to be?

C: This is very largely inspired by "Take Your Fandom To Work", but feel free to take us anywhere you dearly cherish or hate.

26. The Witches, The Magic, And The Works

C: This is for all the fantasy nerds out there! Go nuts!

E: A little fantasy and supernatural prompt for those who dig more than just reality! Vampires, witches, warlocks, monsters, fae-- anything you like, you got it!

28. Fright Nights

E: Horror! Terror! Spooky scary skeletons! Give us a fright!

C: Well, need I say? Scare me.

29. And We’ll All Be Royals, It Runs In Our Blood

C: Give us your Hamlet Kendall Roy, your Princess of people, Tom Wambsgans, your monarchy Roys. Give us the head that is heavy with the crown.

E: Heir to the house of Roy? King Logan and Cordelia Kendall? Royal blood's a-flowing!

<3

Thank you so much for participating! We are so thrilled with the response and we can't WAIT to see what you come up with. Remember to tag your works/art/playlist/posts/etc with #SUCC fest so we can reblog it here and share it with others! Have fun, and enjoy a space to show your love!

#Mwah Mwah love y'all #succ fest #tomgreg #tomshiv #romangerri #stendall #kenstew #Kendall roy #Connor Roy #Roman Roy #Shiv Roy #Tom Wambsgans #Greg Hirsch #willa ferreyra #Gerri Kellman #Succession #Succession HBO

[selfpositiveundertale]

Making a pinned post because why not lol

Hi, y'all can call me Melmel, Lazuli, or Ulysses. I'm nonbinary and my pronouns are they/them and fae/faer.

I like to make wholesome memes with Undertale and Deltarune characters. This is very therapeutic for me, especially since a lot of the ones I make that were not requested are things I personally need to hear.

I TAKE REQUESTS!

Please feel free to send in an ask or a submission of any wholesome message you'd like to see! Specify whatever character you want if you want a specific one and what you need to hear and I'll do my best.

Template list: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Please note that if you want a meme with a character I don't have a template for, you can just ask me to make one! Making the template is easy peasy as long as I can find a good image from the games. A sprite, an in battle or in shop image, whatever, as long as it's from the games.

If you need me to answer your ask privately, please let me know!

I am also willing to make memes dealing with sensitive topics. I will add trigger warnings where I think they're needed but if anyone needs something tagged PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

I'm a married adult with multiple physical and mental health conditions so I can't post all the time due to things like pain, fatigue, or chores.

I can't work a real job due to my health so I am a house spouse. I do however have an Etsy shop here: [hyperlink blocked] (this is a Spamton joke the hyperlink isn't actually blocked) If anyone wants to show this tired Lightner some Genorisity and buy some stuff I'd be grateful. Not much in the shop atm but more stuff is coming. I have medical bills to pay, upcoming appointments to pay for, and groceries to buy and my husband's paycheck doesn't go as far as we'd like.

I often disappear for long periods of time due to my health so please bear with me. I'm trying not to do that as much but it could still happen.

That's about it for now. Might update if I think of something to add.

Stay determined!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💙💜

[hematomes]

hi everyone 💜

first and foremost, a fat trigger warning: im gonna mention suicide and suicide-related thoughts. don't hesitate to ask to tag and stuff, i will edit this post accordingly and it's not a problem at all.

also, i can't bring myself to proofread it right now, but i will try and go back to it later today.

i want to address something that's starting to weigh a bit (a lot) on my mind. as much as i would love to be able to help everyone out for heavy, mental health related stuff, i don't think i can. i am not a therapist, i am just some random bastard on the internet that's barely staying on his feet irl. i don't know if it's because im an adult and maybe some of you see me as some kind of parental figure, consciously or not, and i think that's very cute but that doesn't mean i can withstand really harsh things, as in suicidal thoughts and other really serious stuff.

i wish, i really wish i could take it and give solid advice, be a whole super-hero and be able to save every little person who comes my way with sad, lonely thoughts, but realistically i can't, and it's starting to be really heavy on me.

so, i am kinda begging y'all. if you're feeling that way, if you have these thoughts and you don't know what to do with them, reach out a suicide hotline (you should find the one for you on this link). i will try and reblog some posts about it later today but right now i need to take a step back first because it's a lot.

as i said, im just a random bitch on the internet who likes to shitpost about genshin and cry until someone finally gives them some attention. i can't provide the help you need, and i can't really carry the pressure of being needed that much. venting is okay, it's understandable, but if you're at the point where you have these thoughts... you can't just say that to someone and let them sort it out.

please, reach out for help if you need to. better safe than sorry, okay? and y'all take care of ourselves, i can't afford to be this worried so early in the fucking morning. and just for you information, i am not mad at all, far from it and if i could i would keep doing that and take it and help as much as i can. i am literally just worried sick.

#important #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide #this is really really important ok i #so yes i am selfishly asking to not dump all of this on me i just can't carry this type of thing #once again venting is fine and i mean if you really have no one... i could. but consider contacting professionals instead #especially with the time difference i can't help but think i read these asks too late or something #so uh. yeah.

[envythepalmtree]

I'm back!

Tl,dr: I'm changing my tagging system, so change your blacklist accordingly.

Hi everyone!! I missed you guys. 💚💚 How's everyone been? I've opened up my ask box again so feel free to say hi!

Housekeeping notes:

I'll be changing up my blog's tagging system a little, so you might need to block some more tags to make sure you're only seeing the content you want to see.

Accessibility: I do image descriptions on pictures to make them accessible for screenreaders and anyone else who might need them. Here's a post on what they are and why they're important. I've been tagging my own IDs, whether for my image or a reblog on someone else's, with #image described. If the ID isn't mine, it's tagged as #has id.

If, for whatever reason, I can't ID an image, I'll tag it as #no id. If you use a screenreader, you might want to block it. This is also the tag I've been using for other universally screenreader-unfriendly posts (eg emojipastas), but I'm going to start using #screenreaders don't look, so if you need to, please block that tag as well.

I'm also aware that some screenreaders will support certain languages, but not others. For example, my laptop's screenreader will read Chinese or Japanese characters as "unidentified ideograph! unidentified ideograph!" extremely loudly and it's very annoying. And some screenreaders support Chinese characters but won't read Arabic. Et cetera. To get around this, I'll be tagging with with #[language] characters for the individual languages. For example, #chinese characters on posts that contain Chinese characters. No need to block every language in existence--these are the ones that might show up on my blog:

#chinese characters for posts on Xing and/or me being a Chinese person unable to shut up about cool culture things

#japanese characters because that's FMA's original language

#arabic letters, possibly, for worldbuilding-related things

#hebrew letters, also possibly for worldbuilding

If one of those is a language your screenreader doesn't support, block it!

Additionally, I'll get around to changing my blog theme at some point. It's been the default theme since I made this in December 😂 If anyone knows of simple, dark themes that are accessible (like a dyslexic-friendly font, screenreader-friendly layout, etc) please let me know!

Content warnings: I used to tag my posts as "#[content] tw" (To stand for "trigger warning." For example, "#death tw" on a post about death). I'll be changing that to "#[content] cw" which stands for "content warning" - I feel like "content warning" better represents all the reasons someone might have a certain tag filtered. So if there's content you want to avoid, please make sure you have the the tag blacklisted with "cw"! If there's something specific you want me to tag, shoot me an ask and I'll make sure it's always tagged.

Temporary intro (since this'll be my pinned post for a bit)

Hi!! I'm Aure (she/her) and I'm obsessed with FMA. I especially love analyzing the homunculi or fleshing out Xingese culture, and I will LOVE you if you ask me about my homunculi headcanons or my Xingese Roy headcanons. I am in the Chinese diaspora and have adhd, so Roy's my favorite character to project on, lol.

I write metas and headcanon posts sometimes. I also write image descriptions, and it is my mission to get the FMA fandom to make their stuff accessible ❤️ So I reblog and ID art to both hype up cool creators and help them make it accessible. If I've gotten something wrong in an ID of your work, send me an ask and I'll fix it.

(I also should mention. since a lot of y'all said you followed me for the memes. that. the memes exist hehe)

I'm aureshadow on AO3.

My fma fics:

so I throw stones at walls I'll never climb

Media Version: Brotherhood and Manga

Tags: Angst and Feels, Character Study

Words: 2,553

Envy used to have debates like that with Lust.

An absurd picture popped into Envy’s head of having a pseudo-angry conversation like that with someone who wasn’t a sibling. A human. Having someone look at them like that couple looked at each other. Something in their chest contracted.

“Pride’s really driving me crazy now, huh,” they muttered. “Imagine me, Envy, stooping down to the level of those worms.” Their eyes watered a little - they hadn’t slept too much. ~~~ Mrs. Bradley wants her son to make friends, and Pride enlists Envy to be a fake friend. Envy isn’t good at acting - not like Pride is. Not like Lust was. But they’ll try their best, and they’ll make Father happy. If it’s unpleasant, they’ll use memories of inflicting horrors of humans to cheer themself up. An exploration of Envy’s relationship with Pride, grief over Lust, and resentment towards humans for the unconditional love that Envy never had.

wove between himself like a waterfall

Media Version: All Media Types

Tags: Poetry, poetry based on fic

Blackout poem from Marelle by SiryyGray!

All in a night's work

Media Version: Brotherhood and Manga

Tags: two homunculi, Walk Into A Bar, one has explosives, Humor, Crack, my tumblr anons forced me to write this fic

Words: 892

Envy gets drunk. Lust has to clean up their mess.

Other links:

All my original posts

Headcanons masterpost

FMA blogs you should follow

Posts about IDs and accessibility that I highly encourage you reblog:

Why image descriptions are important

On alt text

Why you shouldn't remove the ID on a post

The FMA fandom in particular really should do better. because yknow. Edward is disabled. (via @edisacornball)

Support artists who are making their content accessible!! (via @antimonarchy)

#aure speaks #pinned post

[bruisedfuse]

A.C.A.B.- ALL CLOUDS ARE BASTARDS.

(WHITMORE BELONGS TO SOCK.CLIP) I'm just a little fan, with little needs. with that out of the way, this is an ask/rp blog thing dedicated to the whitty FNF mod, with a pinch of "canon". i am bad at this.

no carrds here, no google drives here, no icons here. we're making this one the good old way.

welcome to this..! thing! of a blog! lol this blog was established a while ago. don't remember when. don't care too.

nothing crazy to be found in this pinned post, I'm just laying down some basics.

I wanted to bring back this blog cause it kinda... okay I can't explain it, but it means a lot to me. also real missing whitty hours. I've been busy on other blogs, and that's mainly how I noticed just how... empty the tumblr fnf rpc feels as of lately.

Nobody came to hear me mope, let's get to the good shit.

RULES

13+ ONLY! Blog will feature potentially serious or even dark themes, swearing, potential violence, psychological and/ or even generally physical struggles

(OC, canon, crossover, AU, etc friendly)

TRIGGER WARNINGS (TW) FOR: harsh language, poverty, anxiety, rage issues, existentialism, implications of physical abuse. I can tag anything if needed too.

If I haven't replied to your reply on one of my posts, it's nothing personal! It's just that I literally can't do that lol. Use them reblogs if ya wanna chat please.

Don't rush me for a roleplay thread if it ever comes to us doing one! I have my own set of problems offline, and if you can't respect that then please leave lol.

ROLEPLAY

The verse of Whitty Whitmore that I will be portraying here goes as follows: He's a rapper with talent, who just didn't get lucky. Multiple organizations are after bass now, and they travel a lot as he is constantly busy fleeing from them all. Standard stuff. Also has been attacked by a robot dragon at some point. Weird old threads will be weird and held dear.

NAME: Whitty (Whitmore)

HEIGHT: cmon. yall know this one. (8ft)

AGE: 20 something? They don't count.

GENDER: Funky. Likes nonbinary label.

PRONOUNS: He/They/It/Bass/Smoke

SEXUALITY: None with left nope. (Ace)

OTHER PREFERENCES: Biromantic(?)

PERSONALITY SUMMARY: They are... Honestly just a guy. Stressed out, sure, anxious, definitely, a lil' bit too easy to agitate, but mostly! Mostly, Bass does manage to remain invitingly timid. Still a 'bit' funked. Raised on the streets, he can and absolutely does swear without filter. It's how they remain calm usually. Can't socialize for shit otherwise, lmao.

ASKS

All is welcome! I only ask there be no content that, y'know, violates tumblr TOS lmao (Includes potentially dirty jokes or implications- Thank you in advance)

You can send M!As, random questions, bug Whitty, bug me, starters, anything. (It is preferred that we consult in some way before we jump straight to sending roleplay starters though!)

ABOUT ME: Just.. call me mod or mun tbh. Do not worry much about gender talk, though I hold a funny preference for terms like bro, dude, etc. Maybe if I establish some mutuals on here then I might come up with some silly name y'all can address me by? Idk. Maybe. lol.

I don't see a point to adding the same exact copy paste DNI section, since, as everybody here already knows: Those cannot stop the exact people they are supposed to be stopping 'cause those people incredibly likely can't even read. I still hate them, and I still will be more than thrilled to get to block them. Try me terfs lol, see what ya can get lmao.

#ooc. #important. #ic. #rp. #rb. #funnies. #promo.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Rules and Regulations:

Please do not request the same thing numerous times! It won't make me do it any faster, and duplicates get deleted anyways!

I will try to do as many of the requests I'm given, but there are just some things that I ultimately won't know what to do with. Those requests will either sit for me to marinade on, or they'll get deleted if I don't plan on doing them. I'm sorry if I do end up deleting one of your requests, but I swear this isn't me saying that your request was a bad idea. Usually, I just can't think of anything for it and I don't want to half-ass a request.

I'm an adult. I write adult content. This means that I strongly encourage those who are minors to avoid my nsfw works if not my entire blog. I don't block minors just because I'm not here to police what you guys expose yourselves to, but I am going to ask that you take it upon yourselves to not look at works not meant for you and to be smart with your access to the internet.

I mark my nsfw works with a "***" to let readers know that there is sexual content within that work, and tag all sexual content in the warnings in the beginning of each work. If I have missed a work, please let me know. If you feel I've tagged something incorrectly, please let me know.

I only take requests when I announce that my requests are open, and I only take them through my askbox. If you send them anyways, they will be deleted. I either go by slots or have open requests for certain characters. Please read my banners and the lastest announcement post to find out what/if I'm accepting. Please respect creators when they say their requests are closed

I make all non-smut fics gender neutral unless specified, but, because I'm AFAB and can only go off of that experience, all non-specified smut requests will be assumed to have an afab reader. If you don't want that, say so!

If you request a part 2 for a work, there is a BIG chance I won't do it. If it was meant to be an one shot/I like the ending I originally wrote, I just don't see a point in writing more. However, if it's a work I would consider a part 2 for, I usually say that in the tags!! For those bad boys, feel free to request it (still might not do it tho)

Now, for the things that I will NEVER do/just don't talk about these things with me:

*various trigger warnings

°°° = blocked immediately

Scat/Urine/Vomit°°° play

S*icide/s*lf-harm°°°

P*dophilia/any fic involving romantic relationships with minor characters (yes, that means even aged up requests)°°°

R*pe/graphic descriptions of sexual assault°°°

Inc*st°°°

Dd/lg or age regression (mommy/daddy titles are fine, just no caregiver shit)°°°

Race play°°°

Vore/cannibalism (a vampire eating a human is not the same as cannibalistic!reader I'm sorry)°°°

Hard drug use

Eating disorders/anorexia/bulimia/etc

Some mental illnesses (due to triggering myself while writing)

In fact, anything that would trigger myself (due to privacy reasons, I may not always tell you if it's this case but will simply just delete the request)

Furry stuff (listen- no hate to you guys but I am a monster fucker not a furry so please do not message me about that stuff)

Anything involving bugs

Anything involving the real life actors/not the characters

And some kinks that I'm sure I'll have to add on later cause y'all are- interesting

While some of these may not lead to a block if you spam me with these requests or try to argue with me in any way you will be blocked. But if you talk to me about the things that are noted as an immediate block, well- bye ig

Character List

Updated: 8/26/21

#rules #rules and regulations