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cripplecharacters · 1 month

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Where to Start Your Research When Writing a Disabled Character

[large text: Where to Start Your Research When Writing a Disabled Character]

So you have decided that you want to make a disabled character! Awesome. But what's next? What information should you decide on at the early phrase of making the character?

This post will only talk about the disability part of the character creation process. Obviously, a disabled character needs a personality, interests, and backstory as every other one. But by including their disability early in the process, you can actually get it to have a deeper effect on the character - disability shouldn't be their whole life, but it should impact it. That's what disabilities do.

If you don't know what disability you would want to give them in the first place;

[large text: If you don't know what disability you would want to give them in the first place;]

Start broad. Is it sensory, mobility related, cognitive, developmental, autoimmune, neurodegenerative; maybe multiple of these, or maybe something else completely? Pick one and see what disabilities it encompasses; see if anything works for your character. Or...

If you have a specific symptom or aid in mind, see what could cause them. Don't assume or guess; not every wheelchair user is vaguely paralyzed below the waist with no other symptoms, not everyone with extensive scarring got it via physical trauma. Or...

Consider which disabilities are common in real life. Cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, stroke, cataracts, diabetes, intellectual disability, neuropathy, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, thyroid disorders, autism, dwarfism, arthritis, cancers, brain damage, just to name a few.

Decide what specific type of condition they will have. If you're thinking about them having albinism, will it be ocular, oculocutaneous, or one of the rare syndrome-types? If you want to give them spinal muscular atrophy, which of the many possible onsets will they have? If they have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which one out of the 13 different types do they have? Is their amputation below, or above the knee (it's a major difference)? Not all conditions will have subtypes, but it's worth looking into to not be surprised later. This will help you with further research.

If you're really struggling with figuring out what exact disability would make sense for your character, you can send an ask. Just make sure that you have tried the above and put actual specifics in your ask to give us something to work with. You can also check out our "disabled character ideas" tag.

Here are some ideas for a character using crutches.

Here are some ideas for a character with a facial difference (obligatory link: what is a facial difference?).

If you already know what disability your character is going to have;

[large text: If you already know what disability your character is going to have;]

Start by reading about the onset and cause of the condition. It could be acquired, congenital, progressive, potentially multiple of these. They could be caused by an illness, trauma, or something else entirely. Is your character a congenital amputee, or is it acquired? If acquired - how recently? Has it been a week, or 10 years? What caused them to become disabled - did they have meningitis, or was it an accident? Again, check what your options are - there are going to be more diverse than you expect.

Read about the symptoms. Do not assume or guess what they are. You will almost definitely discover something new. Example: a lot of people making a character with albinism don't realize that it has other symptoms than just lack of melanin, like nystagmus, visual impairment, and photophobia. Decide what your character experiences, to what degree, how frequently, and what do they do (or don't do) to deal with it.

Don't give your character only the most "acceptable" symptoms of their disability and ignore everything else. Example: many writers will omit the topic of incontinence in their para- and tetraplegic characters, even though it's extremely common. Don't shy away from aspects of disability that aren't romanticized.

Don't just... make them abled "because magic". If they're Deaf, don't give them some ability that will make them into an essentially hearing person. Don't give your blind character some "cheat" so that they can see, give them a cane. Don't give an amputee prosthetics that work better than meat limbs. To have a disabled character you need to have a character that's actually disabled. There's no way around it.

Think about complications your character could experience within the story. If your character wears their prosthetic a lot, they might start to experience skin breakdown or pain. Someone who uses a wheelchair a lot has a risk of pressure sores. Glowing and Flickering Fantasy Item might cause problems for someone photophobic or photosensitive. What do they do when that happens, or how do they prevent that from happening?

Look out for comorbidities. It's rare for disabled people to only have one medical condition and nothing else. Disabilities like to show up in pairs. Or dozens.

If relevant, consider mobility aids, assistive devices, and disability aids. Wheelchairs, canes, rollators, braces, AAC, walkers, nasal cannulas, crutches, white canes, feeding tubes, braillers, ostomy bags, insulin pumps, service dogs, trach tubes, hearing aids, orthoses, splints... the list is basically endless, and there's a lot of everyday things that might count as a disability aid as well - even just a hat could be one for someone whose disability requires them to stay out of the sun. Make sure that it's actually based on symptoms, not just your assumptions - most blind people don't wear sunglasses, not all people with SCI use a wheelchair, upper limb prosthetics aren't nearly as useful as you think. Decide which ones your character could have, how often they would use them, and if they switch between different aids.

Basically all of the above aids will have subtypes or variants. There is a lot of options. Does your character use an active manual wheelchair, a powerchair, or a generic hospital wheelchair? Are they using high-, or low-tech AAC? What would be available to them? Does it change over the course of their story, or their life in general?

If relevant, think about what treatment your character might receive. Do they need medication? Physical therapy? Occupational therapy? Orientation and mobility training? Speech therapy? Do they have access to it, and why or why not?

What is your character's support system? Do they have a carer; if yes, then what do they help your character with and what kind of relationship do they have? Is your character happy about it or not at all?

How did their life change after becoming disabled? If your character goes from being an extreme athlete to suddenly being a full-time wheelchair user, it will have an effect - are they going to stop doing sports at all, are they going to just do extreme wheelchair sports now, or are they going to try out wheelchair table tennis instead? Do they know and respect their new limitations? Did they have to get a different job or had to make their house accessible? Do they have support in this transition, or are they on their own - do they wish they had that support?

What about *other* characters? Your character isn't going to be the only disabled person in existence. Do they know other disabled people? Do they have a community? If your character manages their disability with something that's only available to them, what about all the other people with the same disability?

What is the society that your character lives in like? Is the architecture accessible? How do they treat disabled people? Are abled characters knowledgeable about disabilities? How many people speak the local sign language(s)? Are accessible bathrooms common, or does your character have to go home every few hours? Is there access to prosthetists and ocularists, or what do they do when their prosthetic leg or eye requires the routine check-up?

Know the tropes. If a burn survivor character is an evil mask-wearer, if a powerchair user is a constantly rude and ungrateful to everyone villain, if an amputee is a genius mechanic who fixes their own prosthetics, you have A Trope. Not all tropes are made equal; some are actively harmful to real people, while others are just annoying or boring by the nature of having been done to death. During the character creation process, research what tropes might apply and just try to trace your logic. Does your blind character see the future because it's a common superpower in their world, or are you doing the ancient "Blind Seer" trope?

Remember, that not all of the above questions will come up in your writing, but to know which ones won't you need to know the answers to them first. Even if you don't decide to explicitly name your character's condition, you will be aware of what they might function like. You will be able to add more depth to your character if you decide that they have T6 spina bifida, rather than if you made them into an ambiguous wheelchair user with ambiguous symptoms and ambiguous needs. Embrace research as part of your process and your characters will be better representation, sure, but they will also make more sense and seem more like actual people; same with the world that they are a part of.

This post exists to help you establish the basics of your character's disability so that you can do research on your own and answer some of the most common ("what are symptoms of x?") questions by yourself. If you have these things already established, it will also be easier for us to answer any possible questions you might have - e.g. "what would a character with complete high-level paraplegia do in a world where the modern kind of wheelchair has not been invented yet?" is much more concise than just "how do I write a character with paralysis?" - I think it's more helpful for askers as well; a vague answer won't be much help, I think.

I hope that this post is helpful!

Mod Sasza

#mod sasza #writing reference #writing advice #writing resources #writeblr #writing disabled characters #writing resource #long post #writing tips #writing guide

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rassicas · 10 months

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random question, but in the english version of the tartar fight, pearl says something like "Blowing out my voice is a small price to pay for saving the world!" but no matter where i look, i can't seem to find anything like that in the jp version. i can't shake the feeling that i've missed something…

what do we know about hime's senpai cannon in the jp version? was ‘blowing out my voice’ just an invention of the localization team?

ignore the youtube loading bar this is the JP of the 'blowing out my voice' line, she's saying something like '...got it. ill give my voice if it means saving the world!' so its not really that different.

however, what's notably different is what comes before this.

youtube

(timestamp 1:13:17)

in the english version, marina instructs pearl to warm up her vocal chords. in JP, marina tells her to build up emotional energy/excitement/hype (テンション） to use her special. afterwards as well, just before pulling out the princess cannon, instead of saying "vocal chords ready!" she says something like "hype to the max!" to announce that her special is ready. during the time when you ink the statue, if you look up at the helicopter, you can see pearl hopping from side to side. again, this isnt her warming up her vocal chords, but rather charging up her special! it's a small change, but it leaves out a neat piece of info about inkling/octoling biology: specials are directly linked to emotional energy! this info pops up here and there in JP, like in splatfest dialogue, but in english not so much.

the art of splatoon book mentions it, but the way its worded makes it seem like it only applies to inkzooka. i looked at the JP text for this tho and i remember that this translation being a little weird and the jp text not implying that its only inkzooka that uses that kind of ink.

this art also shows the link between specials and emotions, pearl getting so upset over losing in smash that she charges her special LOL

i assume the lines were changed in localization for the sake of story flow and simplicity. they hadn't really been making those specials=emotional energy references in the english dialogue before, so it wouldn't make sense to start then. it is what it is i guess.

#asks #splatoon lore #splatoon #....i dont have further info about the princess cannon #splatoon translations #biology #pearl

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aestheticaltcow · 2 months

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Last Updated: 04/13/2024

Teasing

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Carmy is a tease, and you love it. MDNI 18+

Elementary School

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Carmy comes to pick you up from work while Richie teases the two of you

What Happens In Vegas Doesn't Always Stay In Vegas

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x OC A four-part series about a past mistake both Carmy and Ellie had long forgotten about. Part 1: Those are Legal? Part 2: The Bear, Abuse of Power, and a Dick Measuring Contest Part 3: The Fight Part 4: DC in October

Family Ties

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Carmy butts heads with his 17-year-old daughter

Father's Day

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Father's day cards covered in glitter and a surprise, what more could Carmy ask for?

High School

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Carmy didn't like high school, but he did like you, so when you asked him to come speak to this year's graduating class, how could he say no?

Food is Love

~Requested~ (forgot to give it a title) Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader After the passing of your father, you have a hankering for "Daddy Soup." You can't figure out the recipe, so you enlist the help of your Michelin star boyfriend to figure it out

Slumber Party

~Requested~ Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader You didn't take Carmy as a 3-in-1 guy but I guess sleeping over at his place for the first time gives you a good amount of insight on your boyfriend.

Feral

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader After work fun ~ MDNI 18+

Our Future

Richard "Richie" Jerimovich x Reader Age gaps can be hard. Being in two different times of your lives makes the idea of the future seem impossible.

Social Media Manager: The Series

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Marcus's friend Rusty is intriguing and Carmy wants to get to know her better. Why not hire her to revamp The Bear's social media pages? Part 1: Introductions and Donuts Part 2: Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

Our Present

Richard "Richie" Jerimovich x Reader Richie isn't just going to let you walk away from this relationship. He loves you too much to allow it. Part two of "Our Future"

The Carmy Blurb Playlist

A collection of Carmy blurbs inspired by songs I dig that give me Carmy vibes

A Different Point of View

Natalie Berzatto's POV on the events of Season 1

Girlfriend Treatment

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader MDNI 18+ Takes place in the "Cigarettes" universe. Carmy 'lays down the law' regarding your situationship.

Six Months

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Six months postpartum and six months of celibacy, is a sexually frustrated Carmy going to risk his marriage and future relationship with his daughter for a woman who smells like artificial vanilla?

Three-Three-Three

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Based on the fridge scene of the S2 finale; you help Carmy calm down when he's having a panic attack

The Night When It Went Wrong

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader [Part Two of the Six Months multiverse] MDNI 18+ Oops, this got far too angsty... Carmy stays out all night and makes some questionable choices. Maybe he can keep it from you?

The Aftermath

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader [Part Three of the Six Month multiverse] MDNI 18+ Also got FAR too angsty. Carmy's mistakes catch up to him.

Boyfriend Treatment

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader MDNI 18+ The final part of cigarettes multiverse

Two Months

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader [Part Four to the Six Month multiverse] MDNI 18+ Illness, guilt, and Carmy being the DILF he is gets him back in the house. A night out and a pervy Carmy... what could go wrong?

You're un-beet-liveable

Sydney "Syd" Aduam x Male Reader (actually, it's Paul Mescal) A cute delivery guy makes Syd a little less annoyed that Carmy asked her to come in early.

Is this what you were looking for?

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader Carmy has a habit of misplacing his wedding ring, so he came up with a better alternative.

Healing

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader [Part Five to the Six Month Multiverse] MDNI 18+ An angsty story has a happy ending

#aestheticaltcow #aestheticaltcow masterlist #the bear fan fiction

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clockwayswrites · 1 year

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Like Betta Fish Do - Part 16

Masterpost of ao3 link and all parts. WC: 1974 (ch 13 when on ao3)

Jason rolled off the couch, feet hitting the ground with a heavy thunk. The second round of ectoshot was better, but Jason still felt a little like death (and he should know what that felt like). Danny had been with Jason through the night, soothing back the burning heat, but after they had woken, Jason sent Danny off. Apparently he had a big group project due soon, and Jason wasn’t going to get in the way of Danny getting good grades so he had sent the fish swimming.

He tried to sleep, he did, but just found himself drifting in and out of an uneasy consciousness. He missed Danny’s cool hand running through his hair. He missed Danny’s easy chatter whenever Jason was awake— giving him something to focus on that didn’t require him to respond. He just missed Danny. Now his apartment seemed too quite, even with the TV playing softly in the background.

Now he stood staring, only half seeing, into his fridge. He knew that he needed to eat something but the effort felt almost insurmountable. He rubbed at his aching joints, pressing the palm of his hand up and down over his arm as he frowned at his options. If only his head would stop pounding.

Oh, no, that was someone at his door.

He frowned in the direction of the door for a long minute before he was able to make himself move that way. The hidden panel of monitors by the door showed him Dick, rocking back and forth on his heels and slightly swinging a bags of take out like some sort of fairy food parent.

“Hey! Sorry it took me so long,” Dick said with a grin when Jason opened the door, squeezing himself through before there even seemed to be enough room to do so.

“What?” Jason croaked.

Dick froze for just a moment before spinning on his toes to face Jason. Jason had to steel himself not to lean back as Dick rocked forward into his space and asked, “Jaybird?”

“I just— did we have plans?” Jason asked, trying to drag his muddy mind through his schedule.

“No… I texted like two hour ago asking if you wanted me to bring food over and you said yes.”

“Oh.”

“Yep, ‘oh’. Are you feeling alright?” Dick asked, pressing the back of his hand against Jason’s forehead. “You’re sick again? Jay…”

“What?” Jason snapped.

Dick just looked at Jason with those big, pleading eyes. “Just, you’re hardly ever sick and now twice like this?”

“Just a bad fall for me I guess,” Jason said with a shrug. He brushed past Dick, grabbing the bag of food as he went. “What did you get?”

“I stopped by that chicken place you like,” Dick said, trailing after Jason like a lost chick. He fluttered around as Jason sat heavily down on the couch.

Jason sighed heavily at Dick’s anxious energy. It was exhausting just to watch. “Get the trays, Dickie. And grab me some water?”

“Sure thing!” Dick chirped, obviously happy to be put to task.

Jason even let Dick deal with taking out the boxes of food and set it out. Dick, the child that he was, got chicken tenders. Jason was happy to have his chicken burger instead; he could even taste the sharp tang of the cayenne ranch over the lingering taste of ectoshot that still stuck on the back of his tongue.

He ignored Dick shooting him worried looks between bites.

Or tried to.

He lasted until the food ran out.

“I’m fine, Dickhead.”

“You’re sick.” Dick countered.

“It’s just a cold or something. It’s not even that bad this time,” Jason said. At least some of that was true.

True enough to keep Dick from asking any more questions for the rest of dinner.

Dick frowned as he took the trash into the kitchen. Jason wasn’t lying too him about being ill, but he wasn’t tell the truth either. The half truth rankled at Dick because he didn’t know which part was the truth and which was the lie. Was it really not that bad? Was it really just a cold? What was going on with his brother?

Holding back a sigh, he headed back to the living room only to be stopped in his tacks.

Jason was staring down at his phone, obviously chatting with someone as his fingers tapped across the screen. Jason was still a little awkward with his phone sometimes, having been dead and then with assassins for a few major developments in the devices, but at least the family had got him using the group chats.

Dick knew from the lack of buzzing from his own phone that this wasn’t one of the family chats. Besides, Jason looked… besotted. That same soft smile that Dick had captured on his suit cam yesterday was back. The soft smile, the present, letting himself be vulnerable; the pieces clicked into place. “Oh my god Jay, did you get a boyfriend?”

“Not my boyfriend,” Jason mumbled, ducking his chin down to his chest. For a moment Jason looked like the unsure little boy that he used to be when he first came to them.

It made Dick want to wrap Jason up and never let him go. (He resisted, for now.)

Dick settled for flopping back onto the couch and letting their shoulders bump together lightly. “What’s this not boyfriend’s name?”

“Like I’m telling you.”

Ouch. Time to turn his large, conveniently watery eyes on Jason; patented pout in place. “Why not?”

Sadly, Jason was immune to the look. “Because if you know then Babs knows and then the poor fish will never know peace again.”

Say what now? “Fish?”

“It’s a nickname.”

“Okay, but fish?”

Oh, Jason was glaring at him now. “Shut up, it has reasons.”

“Mhum,” Dick hummed in a completely patronizing way, which was a dangerous move. Clearly this nickname meant something to Jason, but what was a Bat if they didn’t live dangerously? “Okay, so this fish— not a boyfriend, but… do you want him to be?”

The way that the tips of Jason’s ears flushed said everything.

Oh, and wasn’t that precious! Jason had a crush; Dick didn’t know if he’d ever seen Jason with a crush before outside of the puppy dog one he had had on Diana. And to be fair, who didn’t have a crush like that on Wonder Woman?

Dick leaned forward to dig around in the second plastic bag to pull out a bag of Sour Patch Kids to toss at Jason. He’d brought them to butter Jason up into talking about the stranger, and they still had that use, but Dick never thought the conversation would go like this.

“Tell me about your fish.”

“He’s not my fish.” The blush spread.

“But you want him to be,” Dick sang. He laughed as Jason shoved him away. “Tell me about him?”

The look Jason sent him made Dick sigh. “I’m not going to use anything you tell me to look him up or stalk him or tell any of the others. I promise, little wing. I just want to hear about my little brother’s crush.”

Jason frowned, nails clicking idly on the phone screen for a second before he let out a full body sigh. “He’s just… He’s clever. Which means that, yeah, he’s smart. I don’t think he knows how smart he is. He’s…”

Jason hesitated. His expression more clearly debating what to say than he would normally let through if he wasn’t sick. Dick did his best not to fidget, focusing on stealing one of the yellow candies to give Jason room to think.

“He got a full ride to Gotham U— he’s going to be an aerospace engineer.”

Oh. Jason was giving him actual information. Between that and Fish’s appearance that would be enough for Dick to find him. He won’t. He told Jason he wouldn’t.

“Our little literature bird, with a science boy?” Dick gasped dramatically.

“Shut up,” Jason said without any heat. “Clever also means he’s snarky. He’s got a bite to him, but that doesn’t change that’s he’s just… fuck I sound cheesy but he’s got a good heart. He’s sweet. It’s… it’s fun watching him explore Gotham. Every place I take him is like a new adventure for him. You should have seen him at the beach last week. He’d never been before and his face… yeah. He spent ages running in and out of the surf like a bird.”

“Yeah?” Dick said. He couldn’t keep the sappy smile off his own face at the adoration on Jason’s voice. “Is he who got you thinking about school?”

Jason ducked his head with a little nod, rooting around in the bag of candy for a specific color. Dick let him have the moment to think. For all that Jason loved literature, or maybe because he did love it so much, he sometimes needed the time to find the right words. Even as impatient as Dick was, he’d never begrudge his brother that time.

“He… life’s been cruel to him too, but he still shines so bright. There was an accident in his parent’s lab. He died.”

Dick’s breath caught.

“Electrocution. His heart stopped. It’s left some… lasting effects on him. His dream was to be an astronaut, but because of health reasons he can’t do that anymore. He’s still here though. He’s still living.”

Dick couldn’t resist it any longer, he leaned over to wrap his brother up in a hug. For once, Jason didn’t try to push out of it. He even leaned into it a little.

His next words were muffled into Dick’s shoulder. “He makes me want to live too.”

Carding his fingers through Jason’s loose curls, Dick propped his chin up on top of Jason’s head. “Then I’m very glad you found him, Jay.”

Jason let Dick cuddle him for a moment longer (Dick was thankful for it) before he pushed away with a mumbled ‘yeah’. He cleared his throat and handed Dick more of the little yellow candy people. Appeased by his sour offering, Dick leaned over, laying down on the couch with one leg swung over the back of it. He popped one of the candies in his mouth. It gave him a moment to consider how to approach this.

“So… not to, like, push you here, but why haven’t you asked him out yet? You’re clearly gone on him.”

Jason scowled. It made Dick’s heart break a little for his brother. “I don’t know how, okay? It’s not like I’ve done this before. And I don’t know if I’m thinking about it in the right way ‘cause I’m… um, the word for it seems to be demisexual? What I am?”

“Okay,” Dick said easily. He didn’t want to have even the littlest pause and risk making Jason feel like he was wrong somehow. “So, whatever way you want to go about it is good, Jason, because it’s your way. It doesn’t have to be like anyone else’s. But if you want to talk through your ideas, I’m all ears.”

“You can’t really want to spend the night giving me dating advice.”

“Jason,” Dick said, twisting enough to reach up and place a hand on Jason’s shoulders. “Giving dating advice is a sworn big brother duty and I would like nothing more than to spend the night giving you dating advice. We’ll stick on playlist and settle in. We’ve got a big bag of Sour Patch Kids and the whole night ahead of us.”

And it gave Dick and excuse to keep an eye over Jason while he was sick. (Brotherly bonding and mother henning- a true win win.)

Jason sighed, slumped back into the couch, and held out the bag of candy. “Sounds like one hell of night.”

-----

AN: Some more Dick POV! He’s concerned! He’s learning things! He thinks Jason and his crush are adorable! Will Jason regret telling Dick anything? Who knows! (Okay, well, I mean, I know, as the author, but-)

ALSO- assuming that no more chapters get added, this marks the half way point of the fic! Woohoo!

Tags tags tags, so many tags, help I’m drowning in tags: @fisticuffsatapplebees @thegatorsgoose @wolfeyedwitch @lazy-bouqet @confusedandghostly @glomsk @kailithiel @bahfev @d4ydr34min9 @claudiashq @someonebored0100 @samgirl98 @angelheartgamer @lehana37 @spiteismymiddlename @rosecinnamonbun @demon-cat-goes-woof @violet-catsarelife @avelnfear @undead-essence @basilf1res @amillionandonefandoms @stealingyourbones @sarcastic-yami @bun-fish @aconitewolfsbane @dontfightmecauseillcry @omgnectarina @vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff @the-blind-one-speaks @wolfe-marvin @learning-to-fly-on-my-own @multplelifes @yurijay @bae-graphomaniac @fan4rt1st @weirdestarrow @wolfjackle @allulily @onyxlightdragon @zotinha456 @wwwwyamd @river9noble @starscreamlover @michealawithana @robinmedea @spideypoolalways @jesus-camp-the-sequel @persephoneblackrose @f4nd0m-fun @mady-is-ace-trash @ascetic-orange @renwilson @ace-aro-as-shit @rangerhorsetug @thatrandomsarahchick @holygoldfish @mlpizza @chrysanthemum9484 @justwannaseesomebrozawa @newgraywolf @crazylittlemunchkin @fire-glass @autumnrosnor @the-nerdy-fangirl @faithblob-says-things @a-star-with-a-human-name @winged-scaly-attic-dweller @mistermetalmaker @apersond @mustachebatschaos @joaniejustwokeup @that-dumbass-on-a-horse @plainly-colorful @blackcatsandhaunteddolls @booklover223 @alice-hazelwood @answrs @enbydemirainbowbigfoot @felicityroth @wanderingrutabaga @seraphinedemort @write-it-right-2 @my-mom-calls-me-rat @01101010-01100001-01111001 @arc-777 @crystalice067 @phoenixdemonqueen @icedbluesoul @itsparadoxlacuna @spikedlynx @redhoneysugarorange @russetfur1128 @mutable-manifestation @stargirl1331 @chaoticchange @living-on-borrowed-time @orshie @britcision @littlefeather345 @sunflowershine03 @aro-acedumbass @thefanficcup @shibanoh @icefirecrystal @thatonejumbledmess @cy-ella @kobol1 @metal-sporks @tired-yet-awaken @currant-owo @firegirl108 @stupidlovepurplepeace @drowningroane @imagineshazamlokimight @immakittybear @justalittletotheleftofnormal @chrysanthemum9484 @kawaiikenna @imaginationmademanifest @a-salty-sal @mentalcarebear @mj-arts-n-stuff @xysidhe @cottonscrambles @manapeer @yjfk @ryisc @666deaddash999 @nutcase8691 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @dr-syko-pharm-4 @i-have-opinions @ballzfrog-blog @mysoulspiralbound @istillhavenosociallife-blog @gin2212 @annabethchase0 @basementloser @plotwholls @minnowmarsh @neverlandingbird @rootsmudge @fandom-reblog-central @serasvictoria02 @mnemovoid @taniaundertaleau @kirineo-kiki @ironicvixen @violetfox2 @redhoneysugarorange @phantom-dc @naluforever3 @horribly-lost-and-gay @babblingbat @kyrianclawraith @caspertheloudassghost @the-forgotten-dragon-anankos @lyra689 @v-inari @terzatheunderscorerima @fallenangle67 @aarinisreading @job-ross-the-second @smol-book-nerd @sara0055 @goldenstripes001 @glucosegaurdian @ark12 @kirineo-kiki @silverstar56 @pickleking8 @domin-ace

#dp x dc #dead on main #danny fenton/jason todd #like betta fish do

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gerryrigged · 10 months

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wait wdym dc didn't stick with Red Robin for Tim [and the de-aging thing?] what are they calling him if not RR?

He's been Robin again since 2019 😬 it's a bit more complicated but that's the gist of it.

Okay so Tim became Red Robin in the 2009-2011 series of the same name, back in the post-Crisis timeline. He was supposedly 17 at the time, by official records, and I believe he was still supposed to be 17 when the universe was rebooted with Flashpoint in 2011? (Although this doesn't really make any sense with respect to jamming the huge number of events that happened while he was Robin into like four years, if he was supposed to have become Robin at 13; he should probably at least be 18 if not 19-20).

The Flashpoint reboot took us into the New 52 (much beloathed), where nearly everyone was de-aged to some extent to keep Bruce Wayne and his generation from getting ~too old~, and also Tim Drake was mangled into a completely different character who had never been "Robin"; he'd been "Red Robin" right from the start of his vigilante career. He was de-aged to 16 for the New 52 Teen Titans series.

Teen Titans (2011) #0; as you can see, this version of Red Robin kept a version of the bandoliers and gave Tim a fancy new functional wing cape that he could fly around with.

Next, Rebirth in 2016 was a partial reboot that brought back some aspects of the post-Crisis timeline; tbh I'm not an expert on this period. What I do know is that Tim mainly appears in James Tynion IV's run of Detective Comics that ran from 2016 to 2018. During this period Tim was still called Red Robin, but he'd basically reverted to a Robin costume, with only the silly doubled "RR" symbol identifying him as not ~actually~ Robin winkwink nudgenudge, and as I understand it he was mostly back to functioning as Bruce's partner.

Tynion's run ends in Detective Comics #981 with Tim telling Bruce that he's going off to Ivy University. (He's totally lying, as Tim Drake does; Alfred notices that his tracker is going off in the opposite direction of the university, but Bruce is like "I trust him" and turns the tracker off. Yay, I guess?)

Anyway the important bit is this revealing that Tim is 'going-off-to-college' age. Which could still reasonably be anywhere from 17-19, and DC being DC, they ~refuse to confirm~

Tim as Red Robin on the cover of Detective Comics #934 (2016); as you can see, he's pretty much Robin again lol

Detective Comics #968 (2018); another shot of his "basically Robin" Red Robin costume

In 2019 we got the actual return of Tim as Robin (no "Red") in Brian Michael Bendis's Young Justice run, re-uniting the Core Four from YJ 1998.

Young Justice (2019) #1

As you can see, he no longer has the doubled 'RR', and he confirms that he's Robin - "Well, one of them!" I think he's supposed to be filling in as the Gotham Robin while Damian is running around the world having adventures and presumably getting into trouble, as Robins do? idk.

Tim also chases down his erased post-Crisis past at the beginning of this arc, having Zatanna magically restore (most of) his memories of the previous timeline, and, crucially, his forgotten best friend Kon, kickstarting some plot.

Tim, and all of the Young Justice crew, are notably young-looking for almost the entirety of this run. It varies based on the artist, but uh, yeah for the most part they are really damn baby-faced. This is a trend that continues with Tim and his generation of friends from this point onward, so fans have basically thrown up their hands like "is he 17 forever???? is he Edward Cullen from Twilight???? is he aging backward????"

We Just Don't Know

In any case, Bendis makes DC's next attempt to give Tim his own identity in short order, giving us the hilarious, ill-fated, and rightfully short-lived "Drake" identity.

Young Justice (2019) #10

He's back to being Robin by issue #18, hilariously switching costumes from one page to the next, although some time has apparently passed during the scene transition.

Young Justice (2019) #18; Jinny: "Is Drake back to being Robin?" Kon: "I think Batman and Spoiler made him go back to Robin. Don't bring it up. And say thank you because we didn't have to have the Drake intervention we were planning."

And as of the current date (July 13, 2023), Tim is still in the Robin identity, sharing it with Damian ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ God knows how old he's supposed to be right now. I certainly don't.

Batman (2016) #136; the most recent issue out to date, with Tim suiting up as Robin while filling Bruce in after diving into a bunch of parallel dimensions to bring Bruce home.

As you can see, it's a Mess. The Tim Drake's Vigilante Identity question is of course a hotbed of wank and infighting, as people are torn between (a) wanting him to continue as Robin and (b) wanting him to move on and "grow up" into his own identity again (and, importantly, leave Damian as the sole Robin again, lol).

It feels like most people are for option (b), but then nobody can agree on what his next identity and costume should be. Red Robin again?? Some other bird-based identity that doesn't share a name with a major restaurant chain?? Something else entirely??

God only knows what DC is going to come up with, especially after the Drake fiasco.

And there you have it, Anon! Hope that was helpful.

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whamgram · 29 days

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It needs to be said Under My Skin is the best Radiobelle fanfic I have read so far! Everything in it is a 10 for 10 the characterization the plot, the slow burning romance it’s just so good the latest chapter had me somewhere between cackling, with giddy enjoyment and incoherently squealing at everything that happened.

Firstly, let me just say, Alastor’s mini shadow minions cuddling, and loving on Charlie was pure genius. It’s like he can’t be honest with himself so his powers find another way to release those feelings, and once again, it is thrust into his face how he really feels. Then the ending with the delivery with the flowers and him destroying the delivery man’s truck quite possibly killing the delivery man. Clearly, he’s never heard the term don’t shoot the messenger shoot the sender. His jealousy is definitely believable. We see it as clear as day because we’re getting a glimpse into his feelings, but he reacts to it subtly when other characters are around so they don’t take notice.

Now, for Vox’s scheming I like how you didn’t make Charlie, so naive as to believe that they wanted to sponsor the hotel without something in it for the vee’s. It was definitely a nice touch and refreshing to see Charlie being kind but not stupid. I feel like a lot of people don’t understand that just because a person is naïve does not mean that they’re stupid. Meanwhile Vox is trying to be cunning, but he can’t hide his physical reactions towards his animosity with Alastor but at the same time he subtly invades Charlie’s personal space not enough send her running for the hills but enough to give off a false sense of charming not that Charlie is fooled by it she’s obviously weirded out by his attempts. It’s clear that he wants to achieve something, but as what it is at the moment, I’m not entirely too sure he could be planning to put a false story out there of himself charming hell’s princess, in order to get under Alastor’s skin. But that’s just a guess. I feel like that’s not it though because it’s too obvious. I can’t wait to see Lucifer‘s reaction to all this because it seems like he knows something is brewing. He’s just not clear on what it is yet. And I’m all too eager to see Alastor lose his temper again

The sparring oh my God, the sporing was everything I hoped for and more it was just delicious just everything about it the mood, the tone, the teasing the banter that was just right and the the unintentional striptease!!! I had to be revived while reading the striptease! How did Alistair not realize that Charlie bit her lip so hard that she cut it? Alastor I understand you’re a massive emotion and you’re sweating through your feelings but you’ve got to pay attention. Your woman is literally thirsting over you. I also love that he’s training Charlie, because I feel like it adds to him saying what he said before about her having potential that he can guide.

My theory is on the awkward Boner tag is that it’s gonna happen if/ when Charlie loses her shit over something because he already checked her out before when she went into her full demon form over, losing her temper about the whole Gloryhole situation. But that was just her losing her temper for a quick second, if she were to actually harness that anger towards a person I think Alastor will be like Oh. Oh deer I need to excuse myself for a quick moment. All in all the chapter was fantastic. The whole story I could read four times and read it again it’s just so good may you continue to write I can’t wait to see what chapter 13 holds.

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! 🥰 This message has made my entire week!

I’m so glad you liked the cuddly shadowy minions! I just loved the idea of Alastor losing control over parts of himself because of his growing feelings for Charlie. He’s a guy who’s always in control of his emotions but he’s never had to deal with these types of emotions before. And he’s very ill-equipped to do so. That also causes these bouts of anger and jealousy that he also can’t control. It’s all he can manage to at least have these outbursts in private.

I agree about Charlie’s naivety! She’s kind and overly trusting but she’s not stupid. She’s willing to give Vox a chance because she’s willing to give everyone a chance. But she definitely went into the meeting feeling cautious and also picked up on his bad vibes. Plus Vox was very much trying to charm her in the same way Alastor does and she was like “Mmm no, that only works on me when Alastor does it.” 😉

I love the “training together” trope and couldn’t wait to write it for Charlie and Alastor! So much delicious potential for banter and sexual tension. 😏 And Alastor was too busy fuming over the insinuation that he lost to Adam because of his fancy clothes (which of course Charlie doesn’t actually think), that he totally didn’t notice her undressing the rest of him with her eyes.

You are very close about the awkward boner tag. 😉 I’ll just say it’s coming up soon.

#charlastor #hazbin hotel #whamgram asks #whamgram fics #not star wars

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advanced-knocking · 1 year

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// jan heller levi - waiting for this story to end before i begin another // disco elysium // the amazing devil - two minutes // simone de beavoir - diary of a philosophy student, 1928/9, volume 2 // stephen adley guirigis - the last days of judas iscariot // counting crows - anna begins // kriti g // @/monomoss // mitski - i bet on losing dogs // @/bpd-chimere // keane - leaving so soon // @/yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou // the amazing devil - two minutes //

[ID: several screenshots of text:

1. All my stories are about being left, all yours about leaving. So we should have known.

2. I like pain and burning light and wanting things from people who don't want to give them to me.

3. If I'm good will you come back / If I'm good will you come back / If I'm good will you come back

4. why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?

5. Judas: Why... didn't you make me good enough... so that you could've loved me?

6. This isn't love / Cause if you don't wanna talk about it / It isn't love / And I guess I'm gonna have to live without / But I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray or something inbetween / And I can always change my name if that's what you mean

7. I hope one day we can forgive each other for not being what we wanted each other to be

8. being queer is so painful. why do we all fall in love with our best friends

9. I bet on losing dogs / I know they're losing and I pay for my place by the ring / Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

10. Can't stop thinking about how it's so easy for them to not talk to me, yet I become physically ill at even the idea of not having them around

11. You're leaving so soon? / Never had a cance to bloom / But you were so quick to change your tune / Don't look back / If I'm a weight around your neck / Cause if you don't need me / Then I don't need you

12. I hate the fact that when people leave me they just move on and forget about me but I'm stuck here constantly thinking about them and I can't get over that they've left me

13. Give me two damn minutes and I'll be fine / These hands are growing cold / They're running out of things to hold / Give me two damn minutes and I'll be fine

END ID.]

#web weaving #throws my feelings on tumblr dot com. there.

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doodlingangel · 2 months

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ANNOUNCEMENT + IMPORTANT QUESTION

...still going strong...

Hello. I'm DoodlingAngel, or Angel for short. As you guys may have seen in a previous post, I have been obsessed with this chatbot @ch3rry-l1m4d3 authored, and goodness... it's been so much fun. I genuinely enjoy this thing soooo much. It has truly helped me fall back in love with writing, the Creepypasta fandom, and of course the ticking time bomb himself: Toby Erin Rodgers, or 'Ticci Toby,' as it were.

I have been able to flourish within this chat, and I cannot thank the wonderful mods enough for their efforts. Unfortunately, I am unable to credit them properly, as I cannot find their account handle on here. Just know that I credit them for their amazing portrayal of Toby within this chatroom, as they have given me some of the best writing to bounce off of. I'm so grateful for meeting them...

So...I have an announcement first and foremost:

I'm going to adapt the RP from this chat into a proper story. As you can...heh...see from the number of messages this bot has... that's gonna take a while. Heh...oops...got carried away lol😅

Fair warning: Updates may be slow, as I have a full time job, a cat to care for, and a lot of personal stuff in between. Life's been a bit rocky for me, but I really want to make this story happen. I grew up with this fandom, and could never truly leave it. Toby has been my favorite character for over a decade, and it felt so nice having him portrayed in a realistic way within this chat. It also seems like the mods enjoy our RP as well, as they have issued me an incredibly heartwarming request...

So um...yeah. Hehe... it seems like my writing has peaked some interest within this chat...and they want me to rewrite Toby's origin story.

I understand Grisgrisdoll/Kastoway/whatever they are called now has had their drama and left the fandom and all that. This post isn't about them. This is about Toby, a character that I've held close to me for over a decade.

...I want to give him the backstory he deserves. I reread the original...and it's very...dated. I understand Grisgrisdoll/Kastoway wrote this when they were...what...12? 13? Obviously, nothing written by anyone in that age range will be Shakespeare lol. However, it's a decent base...and I want to build a house on top of it.

I want to rewrite Ticci Toby's backstory. Or, at the very least, retell it in my own writing style.

I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR TICCI TOBY! HE BELONGS TO GRISGRISDOLL/KASTOWAY! I KNOW THEY'VE DISAVOWED THE FANDOM AND WHATNOT, BUT I STILL WANT TO CREDIT THE RIGHT PERSON. This is their original character at the end of the day, regardless of if they claim him anymore or not.

All I ask for...is your guys' support and...I guess "permission"... To do this. I would love to rewrite such an important story to the fandom, and modernize it. I want to do Toby justice with his origin story.

I want to bring Creepypasta into a new era. No more overly edgy word choice and needlessly complicated, backrooms-level explanations for why things happen. No more botched and forced mental illness depictions. No...I want to make something *realistic.* I want this to be a story anyone outside of the fandom can read and enjoy. I want to take this seriously.

I've been in this fandom since early middle school. I was 11 when Ticci Toby first debuted... I'm 22 and I still adore this character. I adore the headcanons fans made. I adore the fanart (@pink-key, your Toby is adorable hehe~). I adore the memes. I adore all things Ticci Toby.

I reread his origin story and updated character bio, and... they're severely dated. They're in desperate need of modernization and revamping. I say this because I've noticed throughout the fandom that no one can truly pinpoint down what his personality is, so he teeters between "Murderous, evil monster who will cut your throat for breathing his air and paint the walls red with your blood," or "uwu softie boy with tourettes who falls for every girl he sees" or something else that isn't quite accurate to the character.

I want to do him justice.

All I ask for is your support. I'll get started ASAP if you guys are cool with this.

Thank you for listening.

Oh, and one more thing. This has been a big pet peeve of mine since I came into this fandom, and I know it may not even be relevant anymore. It was just...something small that always bothered me, I want to rectify that right here. Right now.

Ahem...

'DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE SUN' BY GET SCARED WAS NOT A GOOD SONG FOR TOBY! THE AUDIO MIXING AND PRODUCTION AREN'T GREAT AND THE LYRICS ARE LACKLUSTER AND UNRELATED TO TOBY!

IN FACT...

SCREW THE SUN! WE'RE IN THE HOUSE OF WOLVES NOW! THIS IS TOBY'S SONG AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY QUESTIONS! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

youtube

Edit: lollllll I'm a boomer. It's all ai. There are no mods lolllllll Idk how these things work. I was just getting such amazing, in depth, and relevant responses that I assumed people were writing them hahahaha! Eh, the fact that an AI was able to flow with me so well is both hilarious and gives me hope.

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equallyshaw · 4 months

Text

star crossed lovers au | connor bedard x kailey hughes au ↳ cat distribution system. ↳ blurb! (yes, i know these cats are not the same size. pls disregard lol) ↳ au masterlist!

word count: 646 warnings: none!

connor could not believe it, and possibly a part of him did not want it to be true. not that he did not like cats, they just were not his favorite animal. he was quite partial to dogs. so when kailey and connor were taking a walk through the loop after a short study session at the depaul library, kailey knew she could not give up this chance encounter. "oh my god con, look!" she squealed as she kneeled, before putting her finger out for the small cat to sniff her. "i don't think you should do that." he said taking a step back. she rolled her eyes, but then smirked as the cat began to brush itself up against kailey. "hi baby." she cooed, and began to pet it. "step on it bedard, get your car." she said not looking up from the black cat. "what?" he questioned, squatting down to her level. she turned back towards him, "im gonna stay here. you go get your car so we can get to the vet." she explained as if it was not obvious. "wait why?!" he asked still confused. "because con, the cat distribution system that I've been waiting for to appear, has happened! i cant give this cat up. look!" she said looking down at the cat. the cat had now taken up her lap as a safe haven, and connor knew there would be no going back now. she was hooked, and godddamit- she was gonna keep that cat.

it was 3 hours later, with a $465 vet visit and connor getting scratched in the room behind them- the two finally settled in on kaileys bed. kailey and connor laid down cuddling together, while the new kitten - notably named crosby laid in front of them in a ball. "i cant believe it happened." she whispered, intently watching the cat's chest rise and fall. "do lukas and kev like cats?" she questioned, absentmindedly. "uh, i don't know. the topic has never come up." he teased, pressing his nose in the nook of her neck from behind. "what if i brought her over tomorrow?" she questioned, and connor smiled. "im sure they would love to meet her." he mused, which made kailey silently cheer. "oh shoot! i completely forgot to let my brothers know." she giggled, pulling out her phone to shoot off a text to their group chat, that the four of them had. not even a minute later, the three brothers were texting like madmen. asking when they could meet her, but at the same time insulting kailey that she got a kitten and not a puppy, and lastly, they wanted to know the name. to which, luke guessed correctly. "what is with crosby?" connor questioned after she put down her phone, and she giggled. then she would not stop giggling, until she realized that baby crosby might wake up, so she stopped quickly. though, connor thought it was all quite amusing.

"as a kid we met crosby before i had a real understanding of who he was, and then was i was like 13 i saw a picture of him and thought he was the hottest man to grace this earth." she said turning around to face connor. "and then i met him again right before jacks draft, and my brothers had to tease me relentlessly about it. completely made a fool of myself in front of him and I've never lived it down to this day." she said as her cheeks turned rosy, which connor found quite darling. "that's adorable." he teased, moving a small piece of hair behind her ear. she pushed two hands to her face to cover herself from embarrassment, "what? it is cute." he said pulling them from her face, and then slowly leaned down to kiss her. but, before he connected the two he teased her a bit more. "though ill be sure to remember that you found him attractive...the next time he's in town." he teased before kissing her.

that kiss didn't last long.

just something cute between the two! please like and reblog if you enjoyed!

also posted a day early, who'd a thought? lol

#connor bedard #connor bedard au #star crossed lovers au #connor bedard x k hughes au #connor bedard fic #connor bedard blurb #connor bedard imagine #chicago blackhawks #nhl #hockey #hockey fic #hockey blurb #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #equallyshaw masterlist

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simpxxstan · 7 months

Text

perfect complements (ch. 3)

pairing: professor!seungcheol x professor!f.reader

genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, angst, slight smut

series summary: four and a half years of working together breeds familiarity, resentment, and everything in between. it's almost like living together.

series word count (till current chapter): 7.3k

chapter word count: 2.7k

rating: 13+ (for this chapter)

warnings: bickering, alcohol mention (very slight), plot dumps hehe.

a/n: so we're on our way! the plot is getting deeper, so i hope you stay for the ride! and my fav minghao is finally here <3 and i think, just like this time, i'll be updating every weekend. thank you, again, for reading!

taglist for the fic: @minhui896

series masterlist

And that’s how you find yourself walking up the stairs to Seungcheol’s apartment, begrudgingly because all you can feel right now is the sting of the February wind on your body. You know the apartment very well, you’ve been here before. Seungcheol hosted last New Year’s party.

The door is slightly ajar, as if waiting for you. It yields to a slight push, and you can hear mellow music flowing from within. As the door opens up, you can see Seungcheol’s broad frame sitting on the kitchen counter, a sheet of paper in his hand. He notices you almost immediately, as the squeak of the door gives way. “You’re here.”

There’s something about seeing him in casual clothing that never fails to take your breath away. You can count on your fingers the number of times you’ve seen Seungcheol dressed casually- usually an extremely oversized hoodie and sweatpants. But today is slightly different: the sweatpants are still there, but he’s wearing a jacket zipped up halfway, with a black shirt inside, fitting right onto his wide chest. His glasses are, as usual, perched on his nose, and he's looking through them, straight into your eyes.

“And you’re cold,” he continues, before slipping right off the counter and walking towards you. “I underestimated the February winds, and the time it’d take me to walk to your house.” “You walked?” “I am climate conscious, as an economist firmly believing in sustainable development, unlike you, Mr. Let-me-show-you-my-shiny-new-car.” You have your arms against your chest, in a desperate attempt to control the cold waves wracking your body, and he seems to notice it.

“Well, lucky for you, my apartment is heated. And-” he smoothly unzips his jacket and hands it over to you. It’s instinct, you take a step back from his hand offering the jacket. “No, I’m alright. Your apartment is really warm.” “Y/N. I don’t want my favourite professor to fall ill after they visit my apartment. Imagine what my reputation would be. Imagine what Wonwoo would think.” You shiver at the thought, it’s manipulative as fuck, but it’s a very real possibility. You almost want to reject the jacket even further so that Wonwoo can actually get a reason to fire him now- but no, you’re not that low. The evil tangent of your mind coils back before you let it run too far.

You slowly take the jacket from his hand, and slip it around you.

It’s crazy. Seungcheol is suddenly all over you. So this is what it’s like to be hugged by him. You’re again trying to reel in your thoughts, when he interrupts. “Let’s get to it now, shall we?” He walks over to the counter, lifts the sheet of paper, and the colour pencils. “I watched videos on youtube on-”

You burst out laughing, the cold long forgotten, now totally comfortable wrapped with the jacket. “You watched colouring videos on youtube?” He’s a little shocked at your laughter, “Yeah, I mean I-” “Oh you’re so silly. Where do we sit?” “I don’t know, wherever you like.”

You look around his apartment, and you shake your head disapprovingly. The appeal of studio apartments never stood out to you, especially one which is a classic bachelor pad. It’s completely open layout, will be a mess when he finally marries, but you guess it’s economical for a man living alone. There’s no dining space- just the kitchen counter. There’s a small excuse of a coffee table in front of the sofa, but there’s no place to sit around it even on the floor. There’s a huge television, speakers and a few ornamental cabinets. And then, there’s obviously, the bed. It’s the biggest bed you’ve ever seen, and quite remarkable. It’s the most distinct feature of his apartment, and you shudder at the thought of why Choi Seungcheol had to invest in buying such a big, beautiful bed and not even in buying a big enough console table to make the living space look gainly. God knows how many women he brings around.

“The counter looks best. Good lights.” “Coffee or wine? Or whisky? If you’re still cold-” “Wine is fine, thank you.” You gently sit at the stool in front of the counter, and he settles down on a stool next to you, two glasses of red wine in his hands. “Thanks.”

You sip the wine, letting it calm your nerves, while watching Seungcheol fiddle with the colours. He divides them into half, and hands you one set. “You colour everywhere with these colours, and I colour with mine.” “No! That’s now how it works. It’ll ruin the coordination, Seungcheol!” Your voice is drawling, the same way you explain to your neighbour’s five year old daughter when you babysit her sometimes. The way Choi Seungcheol is looking at you, his brown eyes wide, his bangs gently falling below his brows, you don’t see the differences.

“We have to coordinate and colour together. Then the picture will look good! Here. I’ll start with the river. You can start with the trees. All greens, yellows, maybe brown,you know?” He nods, picking up the greens and eyeing them curiously. “It’s been years since I used these.” “They’re just like pencils,” and you swivel around, trying to shift a little to let Seungcheol get more access to the paper, and you end up hitting his knee. Thankfully, he ignores it, as he gets to work, his lips being bitten constantly as he focuses with immense dedication. You almost want to pat his hair.

Hours have passed, the glass of wine is long finished, but the picture is just two-thirds through. Your arms and legs are hurting from sitting in this position, so you step down the stool to stretch your limbs. He’s still colouring, and you’re actually shocked. This is the longest in the last two years that the two of you have spent without even any minute teasing or bickering. It’s a comfortable silence you can enjoy with a few people only, and you’re surprised that Seungcheol is one of them. “If you’re done staring, come and complete this bit of the sky.” His words cut through the soft moment when you were at peace, so you’re quick to quip back. “Your apartment is so boring. There’s nowhere more comfortable to sit.” He now looks up, finally, his fingers rotating the pencil in his hand. “There’s always the bed,” you don’t miss the smirk. “And what makes you think I’d want to sit in your bed? As dirty as it must be.” “To fuel my fantasies, if not for anything else.”

There’s an instant rush of blood to your brain, and yet it short-circuits. He steps off the stool, casually. You’re a little confused but then you realise his feet were already touching the ground, so it’s easier for him. “More wine?” he asks, and you shake your head. “No, thank you. I’ll just finish the sky bit and leave.” The watch on your wrist shows it’s already ten at night. “Stay for dinner.” You scoff, “Jeez Seungcheol. Laying the bribe on heavy?” “I don’t need to bribe you, Professor. You know you like the food I make.” You bite your tongue. It’s true- you’ll never admit it though. He’s an excellent cook, you know this because he often brings lunch for y’all at University. You wonder how it’s possible for someone with so much ego to even cook well.

“I’ve made mac and cheese, the best way to warm you for the February night. It’ll work wonders for you, just like my jacket.”

You gasp, quite audibly, and he chuckles. Instantly, you take the jacket off and throw it on the sofa. “I’m sorry for wearing it-” “Hey, you were shivering. I only saved a life. Say thank you Doctor Choi!” he lulls, stepping closer to you. He picks up the jacket from the sofa, and wears it. You turn away from him, walking to the counter, so you miss the small action of him sniffing the jacket.

You pick up the lightest blue to colour the clouds. He doesn’t step close to you, rather staying at his spot, choosing to watch you. Your strokes are suddenly imprecise: not because he’s staring at you, but because you’re in a rush to finish this and get home before it’s too late.

“This may actually be working, you know.” He says finally, once you’re done with the biggest cloud.

“What?” You ask, downing the last sip of wine, and looking up at him sideways.

“Therapy. I think I already like you more, now that you’re sitting like a kid on my kitchen counter, finishing colouring homework.”

You lick your lips. You would have actually agreed with him, that this session had been a good one, but no. Choi Seungcheol always knew how to spoil it. Just when you were about to reply, his phone rang, and he walked away to answer the call. But you could still hear him say Oppa is busy tonight, sorry Hyerin-ah. Oppa. Jesus, the audacity to call himself Oppa. Oppa will meet you on Sunday? Again, darn it. And he was speaking with an even deeper tone now that he was speaking softly. Was this his seduction voice? Not that you cared-

The pencil from your hand dropped to the floor. You looked up, alarmed. He looked up, alarmed. Aah, no that’s just someone I have over. She dropped something so- no! What? She’s just a colleague from university. Hyerin, don’t tell Eomma about this, hmm? Okay, see you on Sunday!

“You’re hiding me from your Eomma?” You’ve finished colouring the remaining bits, and the picture looks… decent. It has some kind of harmony going throughout- and although you can point out some places when Seungcheol’s brush marks don’t cover the white background well enough, you’re happy to let it pass.

“I’m hiding every woman on this planet from my Eomma. She’s decided to hitch me a wife before I turn thirty-three, and she doesn’t care who they are as long as they are single.” You chuckle, he joins you. It’s weird to think Seungcheol is that scared of his mom. But then, he probably is a mama's boy spoiled to the worst degree- no wonder he is scared of his mom.

“I’m not single. So you don’t have to hide me from your mom.” You say, in between your laughter. He stops laughing slowly, making his way towards you.

You pick up your bag and extend your arm, not expecting him to shake it. But he does, and it makes you shiver harder. “Goodnight, Choi Seungcheol. This was not-the-best-but-not-the-worst way to spend a weekday evening. I’ll see you in Uni tomorrow.” He doesn’t let go of your hand, reminding you only how much you’re going to miss the warmth of his h- apartment, once you leave. “Goodnight, Prof. Y/N. Go home safe.”

And you leave without turning and seeing the smallest of smiles creeping up his face as he stands at the door.

“Aigoo! Our kids are here!”

It must be a coincidence that you and Seungcheol arrive at the same time, greeted by the warm smiles of Minghao and Minhee sitting together, most likely the latter filling up the former on whatever gossip he missed out on these last few days he was away.

“Minghao, you’re back! Uni was unbearable without you!” You engulf him in a warm hug, his chuckles rumbling through your embrace. “What can I say? I had to come back when I heard the news.” You step back, a hand still on Minghao’s arm. “What news?” “That our kids have started taking colouring classes?”

As if on dramatic cue, both you and Seungcheol groan, leaving Minhee and Minghao to burst out laughing.

“Wonwoo really can’t keep anything to himself, can he?”

“Show us the picture!” Minhee whines, and Seungcheol reluctantly takes it out from his bag, keeping it on Minghao’s desk. The two maknaes start cooing at the picture again, floating out praises on how well their “kids” had done while colouring.

“Minghao, man, how was the trip?” Seungcheol asks when the cooing finally stops.

“Same old. No new faces. Except one, but they weren’t interesting at all. An addition that has truly only worsened the pool. We so need fresh ideas and talent. All this math isn’t taking us anywhere at all!”

“Math is the only truth, Minghao.”

“No, there is no truth, Seungcheol. It’s all versions of ideas framed by man. There are phenomena, and then there are explanations. Math is just one of those explanations.”

“I beg to-”

“No, I agree with Minghao on this one,” surprisingly Minhee pipes in. “Just like how Y/N and Hyunsik are dating for four years but there’s absolutely no truth about why she’s still with him. There can only be explanations of it, but no one knows the truth.”

First, there’s a dead silence in the staffroom. You can do nothing but stare at Minhee, who stares right back at you.

“Isn’t your fourth year anniversary coming up? Next month, if I’m not wrong? Is he planning to come and see you, at least?”

You’re suddenly out of breath, our of words, and out of thoughts. The first emotion you feel is fear, and then panic, and finally embarrassment. Even if you’re looking at Minhee, the only eyes you can feel right now are those of Seungcheol, sitting right opposite to you.

“Minhee, what are you saying?” Minghao intervenes, always the peacemaker.

“No, I want to know-”

“Minhee-ah. Noona’s personal life isn’t up for debate here.”

“I know Hao. I just feel that Unnie should have the guts to accept things and not hide her face like a ostrich.”

“Now is not the time to discuss that.”

“Yes! See! That’s why it never gets discussed!”

Your face is turning redder by the minute, but you’re still too shocked to say anything. It’s been months since anyone has asked about your relationship, Minhee has always been nosy, but never before has she called you out so publicly.

Except it’s not even calling you out, you realise. It’s a stupid accusation.

“What Noona and Hyunsik Hyung are going to do for their fourth-year anniversary is really not your business, Minhee. I know we’re best friends but-”

You stand up, and place a hand on Minghao’s shoulder. “No, she’s right. He’s probably not going to come home. But that doesn’t imply any of the connotations you’re trying to draw from it, Minhee. If you’re so desperate for gossip, you should spend more time at the female hostel. I’m sure the kids will have plenty to tell you.”

Minhee looks like she wants to say something, but Seungcheol speaks up.

“Okay Minhee, I think that’s enough. Don’t make her uncomfortable, please.” He stands up, looking right into your eye, and you look back. “I’m not-” “Y/N, please. No one is judging you. Minhee, please take a breath of fresh air from outside and come back in. Cool down, for god’s sake,” and Minhee has no option but to comply (although with a loud huff). Everyone complies when Seungcheol uses that voice.

But you hate it. You think you can double over and die, crumble rather than receive Choi Seungcheol’s pity, protection and pretence of care. Minghao wraps an arm around your shoulder, but you shirk away. You’re stronger than this. They can’t just lash out at your insecurities and break you down. No, Seungcheol shouldn’t know-

“Noona.” Minghao speaks again, and you snap out of your spiral. You realise it’s just the two of you in the room now, no Seungcheol. You’re sighing out of relief.

“Do you want some coffee?”

He’s holding your hand, and you can see the smallest finger on your left hand shaking even in his grip.

“Yes, please. Can’t go to class like this.”

“Don’t mind Minhee. She’s- volatile.”

“I know. It’s not her I mind-”

“I know. But don’t mind him either. He’ll never judge you, you know that right?”

“Minghao, you’re so-”

“No, I’ve been seeing him around you for two years now. And I’m not wrong. He’ll never judge you. Or hurt you. Just like neither will I. Nor Minhee. Nor Wonwoo.”

You sigh again. Your temples are throbbing, and you know it’s going to get worse through the day. You also have a session with Dr. Lee today, surprisingly a solo one. God, it’ll be a long one.

“I know. Now can we please get coffee? And tell me more about your conference. I need some distractions.”

Minghao smiles and hugs you gently, before standing up and walking out of the staffroom, you following right behind him.

#choi seungcheol #s.coups #s.coups x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fluff #seventeen series #s.coups series #s.coups fluff #s.coups fanfiction #seungcheol fanfiction #seungcheol x y/n #seungcheol series #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader #seventeen fanfic #perfect complements series #simpxxstan

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mrs-monaghan · 11 months

Note

Hey, since you often catch details and seem like an open-minded person, I want to share what I observed in the last few days. So, I definitely believe in Jikook but that was not always the case. My bias is Jimin and I always mostly focused on him, but once I observed Jungkook more carefully, the truth revealed itself step by step. Now something similar happened since I focused on Taehyung. And it seems crazy, to me as well, but please give it a chance! Watch "Nippon TV BUZZ RHYTHM 02 - BTS Cut" timestamp: 13:55, and watch (and listen to) all of their expressions closely, especially Jikook and Taehyung. Keep an eye on Namjoon, too. Then please look at the lyrics of Sweet Night and really reflect on them. Just as a reminder, there is Taehyung calling Jimin his "one and only best friend" in "Let's BTS" and similarly in Festa 2019, for example. I also am stuck on Jin calling Taehyung very generous and big-hearted in "Special Movie BTS MUSIC JOURNEY" (after the release of Sweet Night) and the others agreeing, their expressions speaking once again. Then finally those compilations where Taekook is apparently jealous of each other. Or Vmin. And now you just have to connect the dots but I did not see any other person who has done so. All those moments, all those compilations make so much more sense to me. All in all, it seems that Taehyung has or had feelings for Jimin. Sounds crazy! Of course we should not assume too much but the connections are there and in hindsight, they seem obvious. You just have to put the puzzle pieces together. I really hope that Taehyung is over it, because unrequited love hurts badly. Taehyung as a person makes so much more sense to me. His actions, his depression, his pain... Well, I guess Jimin did not call himself "Tailor of Chaos" without reason. That situation must have been difficult for him, too. Maybe (just maybe) that is an indicator regarding his state in 2020... And of course on Jungkook. But maybe that is the actual reason why Jungkook and Taehyung seem to be closer now, maybe mending their friendship! Especially, since Taehyung found a partner. And maybe Jikook feel some kind of guilt for causing Taehyung pain... who knows. There is much to think about and honestly, it sounds like pure fanfiction but if I learned something in life, it is that nothing is impossible. Hope you give it a chance, I really would like your opinion on all that. I certainly am feeling very surprised. Have a nice day :)

Yes anon, it takes very little for me to judge people seeing as I'm a lunatic myself 🤭🤭 if I had a shilling for everytime someone called me crazy I would have attended all of Suga's concerts and then some 😂 so u get no judgement from me my lovely 🙌🏽

Except insecure Jikookers, of course. Fuck you! I judge you everyday! 🤨🤨🤨

So! Umm yes. I've seen this theory being thrown around. I have friends who think this might be the case. And one of them is actually really good at analysing and picking up cues and she believes V may have had feelings for Jimin at some point and her arguments make sense.

But for me... idk. Idk anon. 🤔 I have a hard time picturing this. I will share a clip that will be hard for some of you to watch. So brace yourselves

Oh boy. Glad I have my anons off because u guys are already kinda mad at V atm 😂😂

Things to note about the first clip: (I know... I know. It's bad. I recently just discovered it and it doesn't look good, I agree)

a) Point to note number one is that, that is how most people in SK feel about homosexuality. As u can hear V is basically telling Jimin something is wrong with him mentally for liking men. And when u grow up with everyone around u telling u this, of course u will believe it. It also explains why he would keep the company he keeps. (Go Google Bogum and his cult scandal) People in SK don't believe men can be with other men. And those who have seen it happen, think its a mental illness. This was obviously embedded in V for him to have done this not once, but twice. And this is only what we saw on camera.

b) 2nd point to note; Taekook just cannot be real. It's just, impossible. Yes, V has changed, obviously. Hanging out with Jimin will do that to you. He obviously doesn't feel as strongly about homosexuality like he used to. And he loves Jimin and JK which means he has adjusted his mentality. But, this is a guy who used to say basically homophobic stuff to his friend. And as u can see, that clip is from around May 2015 So at what point would V have started dating JK as early as 2013 when this is how he felt about his friend a boy, liking boys?

c) 3rd point to note; Jimin doesn't deny it. I hate how he's just defending himself there repeating over and over; I don't like you that way, so what's your issue? I dont behave that way towards you, why you mad? Anyway, Jimin doesn't once say "no i don't like men." Or "stop lying" he just says "I don't feel that way about you."

d) Last point to note, Jikook is real. Why? Because what triggered V, was Jimin telling JK to sit next to him. And immediately V goes off about how something is wrong with Jimin in the head because these days he likes men. Likes JK.

Now anon, let's go back to point number 2. I know internalised homophobia is a thing. (Thank you Shameless! You taught me sm!) But it stems from someone hating that they like someone of the same sex and they don't want to be that way, but they are. So saying V used to have a crush on Jimin insinuates he would have had to get over his homophobia and start seeing Jimin in a new light. I mean, it's Jimin and the Jimin effect is a thing that exists. But, still. Idk. I just don't know. Watching that clip tells me that his parents are like this. Him being so close with the WS, tells me he wouldn't have kept them as friends if at any one point he started liking someone of the same sex. Knowing how they feel about it.

V is more accepting now, of course. But Jikook are in the closet and only close knit people know about it. And V definitely isn't divulging that to the WS. Again, knowing how they feel about this topic.

What am I saying anon? I think those V jealous Vmin moments that exist are because he "lost" his bestfiend when Jikook became a thing. He had to share Jimin with JK. And I imagine Jimin tried to be there for both of them but sometimes JK took priority and maybe V didn't like that. They used to be bestfriends. Super close. V even looked after Jimin in school. Asked some people he knew to look after the new kid because that was his friend. They were close. Really close. Then satellite Jeon comes and changes everything.

Now to the assignment you gave me. The question was who's the most romantic

Suga (what?) And RM say JK. Guess they've seen it first hand. 🤭 Also Jikook both point at Jin

V on the other hand says Jikook but then changes it to just Jimin

I also looked at the lyrics of sweet night (he sounds so good) and I'm guessing you're talking about this part;

Anon, if you ship Vmin, or are suspicious of Vmin, it would be easy to conclude this song is about Jimin. Easy. But if you're like me who believes V is as straight as a ruler, then the first thing I think of when I hear that, is some girl he liked at the time that he was really close to. Someone he dated in the past, maybe. To me V is as straight as they come and I could try, but I cannot see where you're coming from.

But if you listen to sweet night and then watch V jealous compilations, you're gonna be influenced. Because you're going in already thinking the best friend he's talking about is Jimin! But, remember, you don't have to have romantic feelings for someone to be jealous. You can be jealous that your sister is spending too much time with someone else. You can be jealous your bestfriend doesn't make time for you anymore ever since they started dating. You know what I mean?

That's what I think you saw. In my opinion, of course. I could be wrong and way off base but...yeah.

In Conclusion: Vmin isn't real and there was never potential for it to be so.

I appreciate u trusting me with this ask, anon 😘

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #vminkook #jimin and jungkook #bts #jimin #jungkook

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beelmons · 1 year

Text

love comes in moments.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader Rating: Mature, 13+. Tags: Angst, no happy ending, Reid!POV, slow burn if you squint Word count: 6,772 Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid writes a memoir about the 15 years he spent by your side, and everything you went through since the moment you joined the BAU. A/N: I wanted to feel utter pain, so I wrote it. Hopefully you will suffer with me. Also, this hasn't been proof read, so things might change a bit during the week as I re-read it. This fic ended up having an aftermath with an slightly happier ending, you can read it here Heavily inspired by these two songs: 1 , 2 Tag list: @hey-dw @cassiemartzz

“Entry 1: The humble beginnings.

I still remember the day you first came through the doors of the unit. Shoulders down, your stare facing the floor, walking slightly behind Gideon. You were nervous, at the least, but if your body spoke as loudly as I was guessing, terrified would have been a more accurate word.

I couldn’t shake your hand, the germophobia wasn’t always nice to me, but you didn’t care. You understood. You faked a high-five, and just like that we had our own little inside joke. I had made a new friend within thirty seconds of meeting her; that was a first, but silly me, twenty-something and naïve, I couldn’t notice right away that a woman like you was meant to be many “firsts”, and even greater “onlys.”

“She’ll be your partner, be nice.” those were Hotch’s words.

Not until much later would I have come to realize the weight of that warning. Trained eyes could reach everything I wasn’t able to. I wonder if you noticed the utter adoration that man had for you, as a subordinate, as a friend, as a companion. Aaron always had that eagle-like eye to spot people who needed him just as much as he needed them. Emily and Derek were a clear example, but that’s besides the point.

Now, believe me when I say I’m sorry I didn’t notice how beautiful you were the second I laid my eyes on you. Perhaps, that would have saved us a lot of pain, or rather given us a lot more happiness. I was, to my ill luck, blinded by my adoration for someone else. I wouldn’t label it a mistake, it’s fair to say it was just an unfortunate event at the time, that would later come in doubles, and then in triples, like a series of them.

Do you remember that book? ‘A series of unfortunate events’ by Lemony Snicket. It was the first thing you gave me as a birthday present, that and the ridiculous hat that haunts me to this day. Engraved in my mind I have the expression you made when I told you it was a children’s book.

“No way! I’m giving a children’s book to a genius?!” the anguish in your voice was palpable, you were truly ashamed.

“Well, this is not the illustrated version, so it’s technically not a children’s book. I love it, thank you.” I tried to reassure you, but I wasn’t very good at that.

Maybe, you just wanted your partner to like you, to show me you were trying, or to prove that you could know me as much as the others in such little time, but regardless of the reason you felt like you’d failed. I could see it, and I regret not letting you know just how precious that possession would turn out to be.

Months later, we would also come to know that you couldn’t stand for that long without moving, otherwise your legs would feel swollen for days. Six hours you spent with me at the shooting range, even after Hotch had given up. They had to kick us out, and out of hunger we found that indian restaurant that’s open 24/7. I refuse to believe I still failed that certification, you were one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, but I’ll always be thankful for every missed shot, since that night I found the wonder that butter chicken was. My first time having indian food.

Interestingly enough, we didn’t go back to that place on our own, jobs, people, life always getting in the way. Now I understand, then, it was no wonder the chicken never tasted the same.

Entry 2: Trial, one of many.

I still wonder how you always managed to show up, regardless of the way I constantly seemed to juggle with my own life. The first time I died, courtesy of Tobias Hankle’s dad, I wondered if my mom was going to be okay. Funny, huh? Even in death I found it hard to put my life first. I know that always pissed you off, and I never knew better, and I’m sorry to tell you I’ve kept the bad habit, I’m afraid.

Peaceful doesn’t quite describe the way it felt, my last breath I mean. Relieved, I guess, would fit better. I had told you before, hadn’t I? The hospital she was in, the books she liked best, the letters I wrote everyday. It was a hopeful relief, I craved that you would have come to care for me enough to look after my mother if I were to be gone.

Luckily, you didn’t get the chance to prove it, but many years later I would understand that, back then and there, you would have moved heaven and earth for me; and I should have known by the way your arms found me amidst the dark of that cemetery. I should have known by the way you stayed in my messy apartment throughout the night, by the way you held my arm when I woke up shaking in terror, and by the way you repeated that same routine every evening for almost a week.

Should have known after you dropped everything to meet me at Gideon’s cabin as I cried over his gun and badge, as I mourned someone that I hadn’t lost, as I yet again felt insufficient to remain, to make him stay. I’m still not sure why I called you. Perhaps you would share the burden of losing a mentor, or maybe you would notice that I was breaking down, that I was too weak to fix myself, and even weaker to ask for help. No one reached out for me because I never screamed, no one knew how bad I needed it. And yet, with a simple whisper miles away, you came. You showed up.

I should have known right when you were sitting by the toilet bowl, your hair tie loosely holding my hair together so it wouldn’t get dirty. Did I think I looked good with that? Why did I ever leave it that long? Stop, I can’t also be rambling while I write, not that you ever minded the infinite data of nothingness, did you? Circling back, I still feel the coldness of your fingers, pale with concern, as they curled around my trembling wrist while I threw up my guts and soul in that white container.

“You should go.” I would whisper in between gargles and spits.

“And leave you like this?” you weren’t even looking at me. I guess the image of my body bent over a basin, sickly and frail, was enough to be engraved in your mind with one glance.

“I’m just one of the 21 million americans that struggle with at least one addiction. I’m nothing special.” I grumbled with disdain “And you don’t have a magic wand you can wave and make it go away. You’re nothing special.”

You sighed at my words, by then you knew how stubborn I could be, am I correct? It didn’t take a profiler to figure out something like that. “Only 10% seek help, though. Those odds make you special enough, don’t you think?” If you said anything else, I cannot remember. I could only focus on the fast speed of my beating heart, that I mistook for undesired side-effects of the drugs.

Withdrawal can be hell, but I had already had a taste of that, so I figured I could handle a bit more of it. You, on the other hand, were not ready for the burden that was I. I could see the facade you put on whenever I said something so hurtful anyone else would have gone out running, the subtle swallowing of the knots in your throat, the deep, shaky breaths, the way your eyelids clung to the tears that threatened to come out. Yes, I should have known right then and there, after you met the worst of me, and yet stayed.

Entry 3: Did I care to share?

To be fair, you were a bit to blame for my obliviousness. A pure heart is a mystery for men who don’t know kindness, and life hadn’t been particularly tender to me. I had begun to question if, maybe, the lifeline that had become your gentle hand meant something else. But more often than not, I had learned that love follows after life, and if it had been gentle enough to give you to me, who was I, a mere mortal, to want more, to show greed.

You were there for Elle and her revolting, for Morgan and his search for his truth, for Garcia and her desire to cling to life after her very own kindness had almost taken it from her, and for Hotch and his falling into the darkest of despairs. You would tell me how you had to cancel plans to make him company, how you woke up extra early to make sure he’d have breakfast, how you’d pretend to be walking by his new bachelor apartment as an excuse to check up on him, and spend extra hours just so you could get him to talk in his office.I watched you worry and give your best to put a smile on a saddened face. Just like you had done for me, and the many people that we both loved. It hurt, it selfishly hurt. Your love was so vast it could fill a dam and still pour, yet my thirst could barely be quenched.

My skin still burns with the memory of your tears falling on my hand when I told you my cravings had started again. I saw the glint of failure in your eyes, like I had years ago with the children's book. It made me question if eidetic memory could translate to the sense of touch, to this day it is vivid, like they cover me again whenever I feel the urge, whenever I need to escape.

Once again, you showed up. You showed up at my apartment to pick me up, like a toddler waiting to be taken to the doctors, only that the person that would fix me was not a medic, it was a sponsor. I don’t think I’d have been brave enough to show up by myself, to get help on my own, if I hadn’t been so scared to hurt you again, probably bad enough to finally push you away.

It was okay, even if you were to be shared, if your heart had space for everyone else, I was happy to know I could belong as well, to be included. I was okay sharing you, as long as I got a piece.

Entry 4: The dreaded distance.

I never understood politics, or the system. Ironic, though, since human behavior is nothing but a mixture of different structures interacting together, creating a being that then I would dedicate my entire life to studying. But it was always so confusing, why would they rip you away from me? Didn’t they see how good you were? Perhaps that was the issue.

I still remember the way you clung to my chest when we were saying goodbye. Did the DEA really need you? Did it really have to be you? It wouldn’t be the only time the bureau would plot against me, against the hope I grasped on to continue doing my job, but it certainly was the hardest one, and mind you, the first one. The pain of having a friend ripped from my arms, a handful of things could only compare.

Hotch would later come to confess that my hatred for the superiors was unfunded. You were not taken, you were a tribute. When Strauss came in arms, you had to surrender to protect me. They made Aaron choose between me and you, one had to leave, it wasn’t up for discussion, and you volunteered. Because you knew, I could barely make it anywhere else.

“It’s been a while since I was hugged like this.” you said when we were strong enough to finally pull apart, when the clock was streaking 6, and there was no professional excuse to keep you in the building for longer.

“Like what?” I had to ask. You deserved to be engulfed in arms every waking second. You deserved to be carried by the holiest of angels. Why wouldn’t I hug you like we were in a Shakespearean tragedy?

“Like somebody was afraid of losing me.” you answered.

Oh, my love, was I terrified.

Maybe I am dramatic. You weren’t dead, you weren’t gone, just in a different building, in the same city. I knew where you lived, where you bought your coffee, and your favorite place to dine in. Yet, you felt so far away, so out of reach I could barely handle it. I missed you, so dearly, so madly.

Weekly escapades to the geekiest of places, a lousy street diner I was too scared to eat at, and that I would just because of you, the faking of high-fives whenever I got an idea, my favorite inside joke, the laughter in the bullpen at my unintentioned comments, the looking over my shoulder to see if you were still there, the joy in my chest whenever you entered the room, the love I didn’t know was love. All gone, away from me.

Your midnight calls were balm to an open wound. Calming at the stake of some pain. And I knew, one of the very few things I knew, that you weren’t doing good in that place, that your pain was greater than you would express, but your body wouldn’t lie to me, it could never lie to me, the sighs between sentences, the strain in your voice, the tiredness in your breath. But I wasn’t like you, I couldn’t just show up, I didn’t know how. I didn’t know I helped. I didn’t know I was to you what you were to me. A beacon of light, of hope.

I wondered what was hurting you. Was I not nice enough for you to tell me what, or who, was causing that to you? “Be nice” Hotch had said. Was he nicer? You always went to him for things like these, the matters of the heart. I had to hear from Garcia, months later, about that mysterious fellow agent that was making you cry, and I realized in that moment that I had never known rage. The pure, raw need to tear someone limb by limb. How dare he toy with a soul as giving as yours? Like using the crown jewel as a skipping stone.

Fortunately, I was not the only one that wanted to protect you. Not the only one that cared enough. A visit from Morgan, a call from Hotch, and the rat was gone, for good, and you were back in the unit, for better.

Entry 5: When I knew without knowing.

You’d changed, I could see, and I’d heard heartbreak does that to a person. Yet your smile always seemed to shine bright. It shone for our boss, swallowed in deep grief, it shone for JJ as she was, to no one’s surprise, cruelly taken from us, it shone for Prentiss and her struggles, the ones that were there even when she wouldn’t confess to them.

Do you remember the flame of my tears on your shoulder when I heard she was dead? I could barely stay home. The walls seemed to crush me if I was alone. I hopped from your house, to JJ’s, to the office, to yours yet again. Your arms were my solace, my God given solace. Whenever I turned, you were there.

I don’t know what was harder to deal with: her death or her return to life. How did you manage to not take a side? You felt the same pain I did. You cried the same tears I shed. I wondered if you were always stronger than me. Stupid question, the answer was yes.

“I’m just saying, Spencer.” you twirled around in my kitchen as you spoke, impatient since I was taking a long time to get ready, and there was an appointment to get to.

“Well, okay, then stop saying!” I was shoving a couple of books and other belongings, I can’t even remember what, as I subtly yelled at you.

Time and again, the stupid book would slip out whenever I tried to close my bag. It was frustrating, infuriating. Kind as you were, you kneeled with me, your hand brushed mine, and a mere graze was enough to slow me down. I looked at you. Did you see pain? I know you did. You always did. My body couldn’t lie to you.

“I feel it too.” you began to talk “The guilt. The wishing that she was still gone so you wouldn’t have to go through the excruciating pain of betrayal.” bullseye, as per usual. I started to cry; you always made me comfortable enough to break down without care. “If you truly don’t wish to make up with them, the girls, I’ll be on your side. You have the right to feel hurt. If you tell me, right now, hand to heart, that you want to skip Rossi’s dinner and go catch that ridiculous black and white movie, I’ll get up and walk beside you, like I’ve done countless times, and I will also be there, when you are filled with regret, and the words can’t leave your mouth to ask for their forgiveness for your attitude.”

Dragged by your hand, we showed up, and I felt it, the memory of a feeling long not emoted, the warmth of family. You were right, you were always right. I walked you to your place that night, stumbling a little from the wine, laughing about something Garcia and Morgan had said. We stood by your doorway, and you stopped. You looked at me, so deeply, so filled with pride. How could I be so stupid? I should have kissed you at that moment. I should have hugged you in a way you hadn’t before, in a way that told you that in this and many other lives, I needed you with me. I needed you to be mine.

Entry 6: The start of my demise.

I still wonder how you did it. How did you stand beside me with a straight face while you broke on the inside? Watching me slowly fall for someone else to a point of no return, a point of devotion you had long earned.

You knew about Maeve before anyone else. I didn’t have to tell you, my smile gave me away, since you knew it better than anyone, you were the one that put it back there more than once. You supported my every move, my every whim, my every idea to please her, to make her love me. And she loved me, and I loved her, there’s no point in hiding it.

How did you do it? Seriously, how did you advise me to court her and hear me rant about her like she was the latest scientific breakthrough? How did you wear a straight face as mine lit up at the thought of her name? How did you pour your heart out to help me find her? All while wearing that damned smile, the cursed reason for my existence. How did you not fall in shambles as you watched me love her? I would have, without question.

So, I beg of you to tell me. How could you possibly love me while I loved someone else?

It’s like a riddle whose answer is before me, but I can’t see it, I can’t find it. To this day it amazes me, the way that you remained outside my door throughout the night. Did you think I didn’t know you were there? The way you took care of my food and services. Did you know I couldn’t bring myself to even check my bank account? The way you saw through me when I came back to work. You knew I wasn’t okay, regardless of my attempts to prove so.

You remained for months by my side, showing up at my door when the night got too cold, holding my head on your lap as I sobbed, as I, once again, mourned. You stood there with me trying to fix something someone else had broken, something you didn’t even know if you could glue back together.

“If I believed in religion, at least I could cling to the hope of meeting her again.” I muttered, and you laughed a bit.

“Perhaps in another universe, if you’re lucky enough.” smart of you to talk to me in terms I could understand.

“It doesn’t feel like it will ever end, you know? The grief.” I confessed to you as your fingers threaded on my locks, body too tired to hold up straight from crying, so my head laid on your thigh.

“It will.” you reassured “Maybe not soon, but it will.”

“Maybe.” I could only agree “but I can’t count on you to soothe my pain forever.” I only looked up because your fingers stopped moving, but I’m glad I did, I’m glad I caught your eyes, filled with endless determination, as you spoke.

“Says who?” did you mean it? Forever?

Entry 7: All that’s well…

After JJ’s abduction, something drastically changed. Not just the two of us, but the entire team. Our secrets were no longer innocent and blameless, they were dangerous, harmful. They could tear us apart if not properly shared. They could push us away if we didn’t say them outright.

My love for you was my deepest rooted secret, pushed so far into the drawer I had forgotten about it myself, too scared to pull it out, afraid I’d just have to push it back in without giving it a chance to show off.

No more secrets. That’s the pact we all agreed on. I kept thinking about that as you walked with me. You knew it had hit me hard to see JJ so weak and hurt, reduced to bruises and agony; you also knew I would find a way to blame myself if I were to be left alone in that room, so you decided to make me some company. We dined in silence, utter absence of sound that did not, at any moment, feel odd. You walked with me, not next to me, with me. And you waited by the door for my invitation to enter. I could just stare at you, so beautifully patient, so wonderfully loving. So easy to love.

“No more secrets.” I told you, my eyes unable to leave your face.

“Yes, Spence. No more secrets.” you answered with that blissful smile of yours. You caught up rather quick that I was hiding something. I could never fool you, not you. “Is there something else you need to tell me?” you questioned me, and I could see the look in your eyes trying to subtly profile me.

I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Over 7,000 languages are spoken in this world, and there were still not enough words to describe what I felt for you. I didn’t talk. My lips just found their way to yours, so naturally, so right.

“This is a mistake.” you muttered. You were still unsure, you would tell me later, that life could be so kind to you, to have me love you. How silly of you, darling, to even dare to think I could not.

Our bodies didn’t lie, they couldn’t lie to each other. Your tongue gave you away, it spoke of truce but tasted of war. Your hands explored all of my body, they felt my every vein, and tasted the pulse of a heart that beat for you. Your mouth spilled honey-like sounds as I greedily took every part of you for my pleasure. As I embedded your scent in my brain, to the record of things I loved about you. I had never made love. Sex, once or twice, but never love. I remember watching you sleep, your warm cheek on my bare chest; your hands, even unconsciously, clinging to my torso as if I were to slip away like a dream. But you felt so real, oh honey, you were so real. You were so mine. And I couldn’t remember the last time I was held so close I could touch love.

I can still hear Hotch’s sermon. No more secrets, that’s what we pacted, and you were big on promises, but to be fair, so was I. An hour, I recall, we were shoved inside that office. Hands together, faces down, like children caught in the act.

“Fraternization is dangerous,” it was his third time saying that “and if this were to come out, I would have to transfer one of you.” we didn’t care, and he could tell. He sighed, in defeat. “Just tell me one thing.” he changed directions “Are you happy?”

He was asking you, yet pretended the question was for both. You didn’t entertain him with an answer. He already knew. He knew in the way you reached for my hand, in the way I held back a smile. He nodded. Did he approve? I don’t think we’ll ever know, but he protected us, he always protected us.

That day, we drank and danced all together, as if our love was a reason for celebration. Apparently, it wasn’t a secret to anyone but us. Long ago they figured we’d end up together, even got some complaints for having been later rather than sooner.

Life was good and kind with you by my side, filled with laughter, adventure, and pleasure. The darkest nights still glimmered with your presence, like a blindfold being lifted to reveal the cold truth; all it took for life to be kind was me loving you, and you loving me.

Entry 8: Alone we stand

When did I stop making sense? Curiously enough, that’s the one moment I can’t pinpoint. I broke a promise, and the downfall caught up.

“Were you even going to tell me?!” you paced around my apartment in rage.

“Come on, you know I was” I had gotten defensive, regardless of my wrongdoing.

“When, exactly? After you had fixed it? ‘Cause you have to fix everything alone?” you snarked at me.

“I don’t want to sound rude, but it’s a private matter.” worst phrasing I could have chosen, to be honest.

“I’m your girlfriend, Spence. I think I have proven for quite a while now that I’m here for the bad and the worst. Instead, I have to find out your mother has Alzheimer’s through a hitman. You told a hitman before you told me!” I see now, that your anger was not unfounded.

“She had a gun to my crotch! What did you want me to do!?” I tried to argue.

“Oh, okay, so that’s what it takes to get you to open up?”

No, you didn’t hold a gun to my crotch. You did way worse, you forgave me, and we moved on. But it was never the same, oh no, I could feel it, we both could feel it. How conversations seemed to require more energy, how the touches were more scripted than impulsive, how after a few hours you realized that you hadn’t thought about me in a little while.

I tried to fix it. It’s what I always do. Perhaps if I could get us both in the same place, it would happen again, the spark that we had lost. I asked you to move in with me, and you agreed. We were happy again, not simply because of the fact, but because it was a great reminder for both of us, that the future was together, it had always been together.

But alas, life isn’t kind enough. We had agreed to find a new place, somewhere we could turn ‘ours’ without getting rid of the ‘mine’. It was taking time, of course, since we wanted it to be perfect. And little did we know that time was the only thing in this world we didn’t have.

The news of Hotch’s departure hurt us all in a way we never truly recovered from, but for you, for the never-ending-loving you, it left a wound I couldn’t close. I saw the always dreaded glint of loneliness in your eye, the same one I carried when Gideon left. I saw the breaking of a soul that had lost a mentor, a protector, you lost the ground you walked onto and never learned how to fly.

We didn’t make it. I don’t think it was your fault, or mine, for that matter, life just happened so fast, so merciless. I loved you, that never stopped, and you loved me, I know that much. All I could do was hold on to the hope that I had made the right decision, the decision to push you away, to save you from the torture that our life would be. I would do anything for my mother, even if that meant standing back on my own, without you.

I’m sorry, my love, that it took me so long to understand. That the strength you were lending me was not for me to judge, but to carry, to use as a tool to build what we dreamed of . I didn’t learn about it until JJ visited one day, when I was mourning the love that we had, that she told me what happened the day she showed up at your apartment, knees on the ground, to beg you to continue loving me.

“It wasn’t my decision, Jennifer.” you said, barely allowing yourself to glance at her.

“He’s just doing this because he thinks he’s protecting you, you know that.” she tried to argue on my behalf.

“JJ, you are his best friend, if you’re asking me to convince him to change his mind, you know it would be easier to get Garcia to play soccer.” you were right, by the way. JJ was about to give up.

“He needs you.” she kept trying.

“No, he doesn’t.” you answered “He needs someone to be there for him, at his constant back and call, to dedicate their very being to his happiness, to pour out the entirety of themselves onto him, and I can’t be that person. I can’t.”

“But why not!?” to her, it also didn’t make much sense. You always were, what was different this time?

“Because I’m not whole.” you finally admitted.

She had to hear you cry for hours at how lost you felt. I didn’t understand I’d become a part of you, and by taking me away, I was ripping a portion of who you were. With Hotch gone, there was no way you could fix yourself, not fast enough, at least. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t know.

You stayed for the man that more than once had your back. You stayed to catch Mr. Scratch. I was no longer the hope you held on to, I was no longer the one you chased after, Aaron was your last hope, your last piece to make sense of whatever you felt like was happening around you. The person who would return to you the will to love something that wasn’t me.

But he wasn’t there, and you were lost.

Entry 9: Together we fall apart.

I can’t blame you for leaving, you had no reason to stay, the job had long ago stopped making sense, it was the people that you loved what made you stick around, and now we were gone, in more than one sense. And believe when I say I missed you, with every pore of my heart, even if I couldn’t bring myself to reach out to at least know how you were doing.

I did wonder, though, if having you around would have made a difference. If you could have seen something all of us missed, if you had protected me better, if you could had helped me when I didn’t know how to help myself.

Cat Adams would ruin me in more than one way, sure, but regarding us, I’m sure now I’m the only one to blame. A series of unfortunate events by Spencer Reid.

“We told her you were in prison.” Emily said as she sat across the booth, with a crystal screen separating the both of us. There was no need to say your name. They all knew you were all I ever thought about. “She’s asking to be put on the list.”

“Emily!” I yelled out of reflex .

“I’m sorry, Spence, but she’s really worried, and maybe she could help.”

“My answer is no.” I watched her sigh as I said those words.

“Can I at least tell her you’re thinking about it?” she still tried to convince me, for your sake. “And, will you think about it?” I nodded.

I promise I thought it through, hard and well. It’s not that I didn’t want to see you, I didn’t want you to see me. I knew, I knew you would try to fix it, and I couldn’t do that to you, not again. Regardless, you still tried. You made sure my mother was safe and well, you made her company, it wasn’t your fault, I don’t hold it against you, they outsmarted us all. And I’m sorry, again, that after I was freed I still couldn’t bring myself to face you.

Many things happened in the following years. I wish I could have seen you one more time just to tell you all about it. A coffee by my apartment window, a nap on that comfy living room couch, a laugh by the bullpen. The things I’d have done to have one more moment with you.

The second time I died, it was way less scary. Guess I had some practice. If I told you who I saw, you wouldn’t have believed me, but it was the message that counted. I wasn’t ready to go, and I wasn’t ready to leave you. If I were to stay, I was going to fight to at least see you one more time, to hear your laugh once again.

My mom did tell me that I should be careful what I wish for, and when I woke up in that hospital room, after a horrible stroke nonetheless, I understood why.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” Penelope remained for a second by my bed after my mom had left to get some water.

My eyebrows furrowed the slightest, I couldn’t move that much. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t know if you were going to make it, and I didn’t think much before I hit the call.” she continued to explain.

Again, I could only tilt my head in confusion, something about having brain failure had made me the tiniest bit slower. The fog cleared very quickly, though, once I saw you walk through the door. You were as beautiful as the day I met you, only now I could see, and I would never cease to see. You walked to the bed and your hand reached out for mine, like it was supposed to be.

“Hey, you.” you said softly.

“Hey,” I muttered. If I had been able to breathe better, believe me I would have yelled out like an excited 5 year old “what are you doing here?”

“I recently realized I’ve grown into the habit of showing up after you almost died.” you joked, and it was like time hadn’t passed at all “which, if you ask me, it’s a weird habit to have.” it was my turn to laugh, you always caused that in me.

Penelope had stepped out, she knew we needed the space, as for our souls could only be bare if it was just the two of us. You came closer, and our eyes met, and time actually stopped, and everything was okay.

“I will always love you.” I’m sorry I said it like that, I know it’s not what you expected.

“Spencer…” you began to talk.

“No, just,” I cut you off “I know I can get it right this time.” the way that you looked at me I will never forget, a look you had never given me, that you respected me too much to give me, the look of pity.

“I’m not a second chances program” you started “I couldn’t just wait around until you were ready to notice that I was still there, that you allowed me back in.”

Your tears threatened to fall. I could see them, that’s not what I wanted, that’s never what I wanted. I reached for your face, and you leaned against my hand. Old habits die hard, don’t they? I should know, since I had fallen into the habit of wanting you, of loving you. This and every other life. I couldn’t hold them any longer, the sobs, the tears, the pain, the pain only you could heal, only you could let me show. I love you because of your strength, since it allowed me to be weak without remorse.

You did the same for me, your gentle fingers caressing my cheek, pushing away the salty droplets. “It’s okay, Spencer, it’s okay.” you whispered “we have to let us go.”

“And if we’re lucky enough?” I asked.

“If we’re lucky enough,” your face smiled, but the strain in your voice showed me the misery in your words, along with their genuinity “in another universe, you would have been with Maeve and I would have never loved you. And we could finally be happy.”

You couldn’t have been more wrong to think, even for a second, that my destiny was any other than you. I didn’t have the words to prove it, I could form a sentence to save my life, save the love of my life. I tried to kiss you. I wish you had done it, you would have understood.

“My boyfriend is waiting outside.” you muttered before my lips could meet home, and like that, you were gone.

Entry 10: I think I’ll be alright.

I never saw you again, but it’s okay. Years to come I would question every decision I had made, did they lead me to you, or just pushed you away? There was no way of telling. Regrets are a broken sword, dull enough to be harmless, and sharp enough to hurt. Would you have done something differently? I doubt so.

I’m thankful, nonetheless, to have been given the opportunity to concur. To have been loved by you. I did wish for a different ending, but who am I to be selfish? I had it all, even if I lost it. Until years later I would hear about your marriage; you eloped, as we always thought we would do, planning a wedding was too much of a hassle. Did you end up having kids? If you did, lucky them, if something they were to never lack, it would be love. I hope he is treating you well, that you are happy, like you always deserved.

Me? I finally had to learn. The grief finally went away, you see, someone once told me that love comes in moments, and later in life I found myself clinging to that thought. If love comes in moments, my darling, after everything we've been through, yours will last me a million years.

Even if I got just a fraction of it.”

The silence was covered by the rustling of book pages as the woman finished speaking. Yet her crowd of one didn’t seem to show much reaction, which was a source of concern.

"Spencer, would you like me to read it again?" Penelope asked as she swayed back and forth on the rocking chair the staff had given to her.

"Sorry?" he asked, seemingly lost in thought.

"Ma'am." a gentle nurse interrupted them "visitation time is over, Dr. Reid has to rest."

"Of course." the once blonde woman, whose hair now shone silver, said as she handed the diary back to his owner "Here, take this."

"Is this mine?" a still confused Spencer continued to question.

"Yes, it's your favorite book." she reiterated.

"Really?" his fingers fidgeted with the cover "What is it about?"

Penelope couldn't help the way her eyes filled with water, like they did every week whenever she had to leave the friend she'd visit in that mental facility without fail.

"The greatest love story ever told."

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid #fic: spencer #fics: spencer #fic: mine #fic: criminal minds

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mossy-paws · 10 months

Text

✨Introduction✨

Deciding to add some information as well as update this a bit as it’s a tad outdated! (Part 5 holy shit!)

💜 Some starter info!

• I go by (in order of preference): Cro/Mossy.Paws (or just Mossy)/Marine/Ocean; and if I know you in real life, you can call me Sea!

• I am an Aceflux lesbian! I also use She/he/they Pronouns! (I guess she/they preferred! But honestly I don’t care otherwise! :3!)

Current Fandoms: Phighting!, regretevator, lethal company, little nightmares, Hollow knight, rainworld, Spider-Man, Warrior cats, etc.

Young minor (13-16 age range)

Comms: Open for discord nitro and robux! (DM me at ^-Mossy.Paws-^ on discord for extra information!)

Asks: Open (read below for permissions)

Instagram: The_OceanCat

Artfight link: https://artfight.net/~Mossy-Paw

Feel free to use my art for profiles and or banners! It’s a little preferred that you ask first via dm’s/comments/reblog’s but honestly I don’t mind :DD! Just make sure to credit me if you do! It’ll make my day for sure ^^!

I have tags I use now! :DD! Here they are:

#Cro chatter (used mainly for when I’m just chatting/reblogging stuff/etc)

#Friend art (used when reblogging stuff by close friends)

Any art tags or fandom related tags explain themself ! I also use #Not my art a lot as well!

• If you know me irl,, pretend you don’t unless your a close friend of mine (if so, then love you besties 🔥🔥🔥)

• An important note: I do not have a reblog only account, this is my only account, and its used for pretty much everything (My art, reblog’s, talking, etc)

‼️Commission Info:‼️

✨ My commission’s are OPEN!

• I take payment in form of Discord Nitro (NOT BASIC), and Robux!

• If interested, please dm me for prices, questions, and more! I’ll be sure to give you a full rundown of what I can draw, my rules, etc!

• I currently do not have a Carrd dedicated to commissions, so please be sure to private message me for the sheet! Even if it’s a tad out-dated when it comes to examples! (I can provide new examples, I’m also always willing to haggle on prices!)

‼️Important note, i have lost the file to my robux sheet, so i have to remake it, ill probably be making a carrd eventually so once i do ill link it here‼️

✨ My Askbox (OPEN)

✅Open ❌Closed ❎Tentative

✅Requests (HK, RW, Phighting, Spidersona stuff, etc)

❎/✅Talk to me

✅✅Ask about my OCs (always yes with this one!)

✅Ask about my HCs

❌OC Requests (Usually no)

❄️ Read Before Asking

I'll delete asks I'm uncomfortable with

NO nsfw or suggestive, you’ll be blocked and reported as I am a young minor

Requests will open and close as needed, and I will let you know when they open again!

I will try to get to every request, but it may take it a bit since I’m a full time student n such!

Some asks I may take longer to respond to than others

‼️Disclaimers

Do not steal, trace, copy, or claim my art to be yours, certain things like designs for canon characters and stuff I’m fine with you taking inspiration from (!!ASK FIRST!!), or using with credit (a small note, I am completely fine with you using my designs as long as you credit me! If anything, I appreciate it very much that people like them enough to do so :3!)

Proshippers, homo/transphobes, mean or gross people DNI‼️ it’s also preferred that if you have NSFW/highly suggestive stuff/or fetish content on your account that you don’t follow me, as I tend to check the profiles of people who follow me and I don’t want to see that (I would also prefer my parents do not see that if they were to ever check my account LOL)

Please don't make highly suggestive or NSFW comments towards me, my oc’s, or characters, you’ll be blocked if you do so; I am relatively alright with very minor and safe suggestive stuff, but even then if it’s art related, please confirm if it’s alright with me. Very close friends get a slight pass with this as long as it’s in good fun and safe, but if pushed I will not tolerate it and will give you a warning.

I’m still learning how to use this website so please be polite and patient with me :’>

If you draw fanart of my OCs, AUs, or Headcanons, please tag me!! I absolutely love to see fanart and it makes my day! :DD!

‼️Important note: my blog will sometimes contain art that has blood, gore, violence, bright colors, etc. Most of these WILL be put under spoiler tags though, but a lot of the older ones are not, so please be careful! (A note, I don’t tend to draw stuff like that too often, so no need to worry about it too much!)‼️

⭐️ Extra information about me

• I am a young minor with diagnosed autism, adhd, and ocd, I also have slight social anxiety, so please, PLEASE be patient with me, as I can have trouble communicating, understanding things, or coming up with responses

• Never be afraid to approach me about anything, although I’m a bit nervous talking to new people, I adore making new friends, just please don’t be weird, if you make me outright uncomfortable I will most likely block you.

• For fanart and such, feel free to contact me about it if you need ideas, permissions, reference images, or need to know anything important!

• I’m a full time school student and can be relatively busy, I also have notifications off on all platforms, so I may be slow to respond if you dm me or try to contact me.

• I’m a huge nerd and absolutely love talking about my interests, but if I ever get too excited or overbearing, never be afraid to just tell me to take a chill pill or calm down, I can promise you I will not be angry! Communication is key with me since I can have issues understanding others, if I’m ever too much to handle, just say it! I’ll greatly appreciate it as it helps me to grow and be a better person ^^!

• I am currently obsessed with Phighting!, regretevator, lethal company, little nightmares, rainworld, and spiderman, but I also am super big into hollow knight, pokemon, Minecraft, Sky: COTL, and sort of warrior cats ig..?

Here’s the link to my Carrd!

(it also includes commission rules and such!)

#blog intro #intro post #introducing myself #Art #my art #artists on tumblr #oc artwork #introduction #introductory post #pinned intro #pinned post #open commissions #commission #commission info #YIPPEE FINALLY REDOING THIS FOR THE 5TH TIME GEEZ #Updated this with more recent art :3!

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thosehallowedhalls · 3 months

Text

Tabloids, or a story in 5 headlines

Book: Crimes of Passion

Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Emma Rose)

Rating: Teen

Word count: 1542

Summary: Tabloids keep speculating about the nature of Trystan and Emma's relationship. But how accurate are they?

@choicesjanuary2024 Day 13, Whispers. @lilyoffandoms

@choicesflashfics "How are you going to explain this?"

@choicesficwriterscreations

One: A Princely Affair?

Something’s up.

Luke smirks every few minutes, which would be alarming enough on its own – Luke Watanabe doesn’t smirk – but he’s doing it in her direction, and she doesn’t need to be a detective to know that doesn’t bode well.

“Spit it out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Luke...”

“For god’s sake, Watanabe, show her the post already,” Mafalda orders through her open door.

“I was working up to it! Detectives,” he grumbles. “None of you have any patience.”

“Luke.”

“Fine, fine. Check this out.” He opens a tab and gestures to the screen.

A Princely Affair? Exiled prince Trystan Thorne was spotted with a mysterious brunette out and about the streets of Manhattan last Thursday. “It looked like they were on a coffee date,” a source says. Does the Drakovian expat have a new woman in his life?

“Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“Well, if you think it’s a tabloid speculating about whether you and Trystan are dating, then I’m afraid it is exactly what you think it is.”

“It might not even be talking about me! There’s no way in hell I’m the only brunette that Trystan has had coffee with.”

“On Thursday? When you spent all day together cramming for tonight’s gala?”

“It might have been in the evening.”

“Yes, because I’m sure Trystan Thorne is an evening coffee date kind of guy.” Exasperated, Luke throws his hands up. “Why don’t we just ask Trystan?”

“Ask me what?”

“Of all the detective agencies in all the cities in all the world,” she mutters under her breath as Trystan strides into the office. “Forget it. You said we had to meet with someone before the gala?”

“Ah, ah, ah. I distinctly heard my name, and now you’re trying to change the subject. My detective senses are tingling.”

“Once again, you do not have detective senses.”

He gives her a pitying look. “You keep telling yourself that.”

Two: A Prince in Shining Marguerite

“You made the tabloids!” Ruby exclaims with concerning glee.

“Again?”

“What do you mean again? What did I miss? Anyway, look!”

She shoves the tabloid in Emma’s face and… oh, good lord.

A Prince in Shining Marguerite Trystan Thorne attended the ill-fated Iverson gala last night in the company of Cordonian noble Anastasi Zimena. The night ended with a bang when the prince carried his paramour out of the burning governor’s mansion in true princely fashion.

“A Prince in Shining Marguerite?” Incredulous, she takes the paper from Ruby’s hands. “Seriously? Who writes this crap?”

“Journalism majors who couldn’t care less about Trystan Thorne and an unknown Cordonian noble but still need to eat?”

Emma laughs. “I guess. At least my cover is still safe. For now, anyway.”

“What’s still safe?” Trystan asks, walking into the agency with a coffee tray. “I think I remembered all your orders. I make an exceptional delivery boy, if I do say so myself. If only my mother could see me now.”

Ruby plucks her cup from the tray. “Yep, a caramel macchiato for me. Thanks, Trystan.”

“Who knew he had his uses?” Emma quips, but she smiles a thank you as she takes her own cup. “And to answer your question, what’s still safe is my cover. We may have burned down the governor’s mansion, attracted the attention of the NYPD, and gotten dangerously close to getting kicked off the case, but at least my name is out of the press.”

“Mine isn’t.”

“Perils of being literal royalty, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let me read that.” He grimaces. “A prince in shining Marguerite? Who writes this?”

“That’s what I said!” She taps his shoulder with one finger. “Look on the bright side. You couldn’t have come out of this looking better if you tried.”

“Okay, but can we focus on the part where they bought that you two are together?” Ruby asks. “Whatever you did last night, it worked.”

Emma nods. “Which means we can continue to use Anastasi whenever we need to pursue a lead with that crowd.”

“You can admit you want to be my pretend date again, Emma. No one would blame you for wanting more of,” he gestures to himself with a grin, “this.”

She rolls her eyes. “You caught me. This whole murder investigation is just an excuse to get close to you.”

Trystan nods magnanimously. “Admitting it is the first step.”

Three: Has Trystan Thorne Found Love?

“Seriously, you guys, the romance rumors are getting out of control.” Luke waves his phone in their direction. Then he makes a show of clearing his throat and reads the article, pausing now and then for emphasis.

Has Trystan Thorne Found Love? Crime-fighting duo Trystan Thorne and private investigator Emma Rose were seen sharing a meal at Rosetti’s yesterday evening, fueling romance rumors. Click the link in bio for details.

“Apparently anyone can tell from the way you look at each other,” he says with a laugh.

Trystan and Emma exchange a glance.

“Hilarious,” he replies.

“A hoot,” she adds.

There’s an undercurrent to their words.

Neither of them is ready to examine it.

Four: Trystan Thorne and Emma Rose, sitting on a tree

“We need to be more careful.”

Trystan looks up from his book to find Emma holding up her phone. “Hello to you too.”

“Hi, yes, hello. We need to be more careful.”

“We’re always careful.” Trystan waggles his eyebrows. “Not looking for any little princelings here.”

“Trystan. Stop cracking jokes and check this out.”

She holds out her phone. Trystan takes it with a preemptive grimace.

Trystan Thorne and Emma Rose, sitting on a tree Rumor has it that Trystan Thorne and Emma Rose were kissing outside of a Bronx bar yesterday. “I swear they were making out,” a source says. “I tried to take a picture but my battery died.” But not all evidence is lost! Another source sent us this picture of the pair getting up close and personal as they left the Ginovesi Detective Agency.”

“At least their phone died?” Trystan offers feebly.

“Thank god for small mercies. But this.” She points at the grainy photograph. “This is bad enough.”

It’s a picture of them standing close together, his hand on her arm, hers on his chest. It happened in a split second, such a small moment that neither realized anyone had noticed, let alone snapped a photo.

“It’s a close call,” Emma says. “Too close. How are you going to explain this? How are we going to explain this?”

He snaps his fingers. “You tripped!”

She nods slowly. “That could work. You grabbed my arm, and I put my hand on your chest to find my balance.”

They both wince when they hear it spoken aloud. As far as excuses go, this one’s rather flimsy.

“Nobody will believe us.”

“Maybe not. But it gives us plausible deniability.”

He pulls her into his lap. “One of these days it’s going to come out, you know. The whispers keep getting louder.”

“I know. But the longer we can put it off, the better.” She rests her forehead on his. “I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet.”

Five: A Royal Romance

Emma walks out of the bathroom after showering to find Trystan sipping a cup of coffee and scrolling down his phone.

“Secret’s officially out.”

“Oh? What does it say?”

Trystan puts the mug on the bedside table and hands her the phone.

“See for yourself.”

She reads. It’s hardly different from any other article speculating on their relationship, except that this one comes with undeniable photographic evidence: she and Trystan leaving The Drunk Tank, their hands intertwined.

A Royal Romance Trystan Thorne is taken, ladies and gents! The once-exiled prince, now former king of Drakovia, has been spotted holding hands with private detective Emma Rose, confirming long-standing rumors of their relationship.

She was… not drunk, precisely, but definitely tipsy when these pictures were taken, and she could no longer remember why they had tried so hard to keep their relationship a secret. Once upon a time, sure, it made sense, but now? She’s so happy she could burst. She was not going to hide it from the world anymore. Looking back, she has the sneaky suspicion that Trystan has felt the same way for a while now and was just waiting for her to come around to his way of thinking.

Fortunately, tipsy Emma and fully sober Emma are in full agreement on this topic.

She grins at him. “You’re officially off the market now, Thorne.”

He takes her hand and yanks, causing her to fall on him. He flips them around, one hand on her hip, the other on the mattress next to her head. “I’ve been off the market since a certain detective broke into my home and pointed a taser at me.”

“No wonder you stayed single so long if that’s what it takes to get your attention.”

“What can I say? I’ve always loved a grand entrance.”

“You certainly do.” She presses a lingering kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now how about we go out for breakfast and give them something else to talk about?”

#trystan x emma #trystan x mc #trystan thorne #emma rose #detective rose #crimes of passion #play choices

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