#im emotionally chasing a man who 1: has no feelings for me

[daydreamingdragon]

bad idea: post anonymously on r/trueoffmychest, then go back and read the comments where people call you out on your bullshit

#theyre absolutely right too! #i pigeonhole myself (a commenter's exact wording actually) saying i candt do x bc y #im emotionally chasing a man who 1: has no feelings for me #and 2: actually cheated on his girlfriend (with me!!) #it is incredibly fucked up #i should and do feel bad #depression hittin me hard boys

[quirkle2]

WAIT WAIT if wars is exiled from his own home ,,,, the amount of dread. he would feel when LU is over and the found family is unfounded my god . like yes, he still wouldn't regret it bc it happened over him standing up for ledge, but that opens up the problem of homelessness and not to mention the spiral he'd probably go down from losing the family he's grown so used to having by his side. from how you've said it, im guessing he really has nobody to lean back on in his own time. i can see him digging his own way out and still finding a way to live happily but the way you've set it up makes at least the first few months for wars post-LU hurt and i am here for it <33

WIGGLES WIGGLES RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES i actually have . an lu ending established in my head. i wont ramble abt it here cuz i don't wanna stray from ur ask but could y'all possibly indulge me sometime and let me ramble abt the Literal Best Case Scenario that will indeed give wars a very happy ending . it's my beloved ranch au and i cherish it deeply looks at u all like a pathetic little wet dog that's begging for scraps

BUT IF UR HERE FOR HURT,,,, i think i have some. in my head this is sort of a What If scenario—horrible-no-good-terrible-worst-case scenario—cuz i'm a little bitch boy who can't handle unfounded family and ill sob for three days straight if it ever happens for real but i can destroy him in hypothetical scenarios . for the funsies

(warning for unfounding the found family . and also additional stuff in the tags)

he Would be homeless and honestly he'd be damn hard-pressed to find any inn or business who would allow him service. imagine: he's just said goodbye to the chain and he's an absolute wreck—emotionally exhausted and Yeah rly fuckin hopeless, and he trudges to the nearest town he can find and discovers that 1) everybody he sees looks at him w malice, and 2) all of the business owners in town Refuse service to him

he discovers that somehow, at some point, false word had gotten out that their hero "abandoned" them. the stories r all different, and wars has no idea how they originated—some of them claim he simply quit and left, some say he Attacked The Queen and went rogue, some call him a traitor and accuse him of working with and fleeing to other countries, and some think he's Dead

and that . is a fucking slap to the face. he's been training 24/7 since he was 9 years old, put up w the abuse and neglect from his shitty father all the while, risked his life every day when promoted to captain to defend this kingdom from enemies and traitors alike, and when his people abandon him, they accuse him of treason and say he left his home to rot.

he walks through the streets of this town and most families are ushering their children into houses bc they heard the one-man army hero has gone mad. some of the more hostile, up-front people take him head on, spout death threats at him, swipe at him w blades and torches. he can't escape into a building bc no owner will let him in. he Has to flee

and u can imagine how the rest of his days go. search for a town, get chased out, camp in the woods and survive on scraps and dirty river water until he can find another town that prolly Won't sell him anything. he's fucked. he's truly and royally Fucked.

occasionally, he's saved by a town or two that leans toward the other side of things and some people don't believe the stories. some people think he was wronged, some believe he was Murdered, some think he simply fuckin retired, it varies. they're usually nicer to him, sometimes indifferent. the kinder people take him in, give him clean clothes and a warm meal and let him stay at the inn at a discount and sometimes even for free, if he looks particularly ragged or starved (he . is indeed lookin a little thin). he makes sure to thank them plenty

one time, he's invited into a nice family's house and they cook a hearty meal for him, offer a guest bed to rest in. and then they try to kill him in his sleep.

he doesn't take any handouts after that.

it takes a while—and i mean a while—to find somebody who's willing to let him rent a property or stay at an inn for an extended period of time. most people r wary of him, and since they've all heard the stories of how unstoppable he is, to regular old people he now seems like a monster. eventually though, he does find a place and folk who don't think he's all bad that'll let him stay if he pays well. he has plenty of money—he just hasn't been Allowed to spend any of it

that whole other ask ? the whole Point of the scarf deal, and what it symbolizes ? it's . kinda shredded into pieces in this scenario. yes, he did get better from his time in the war and Yes, the scarf still represents him finally finding a family to love and happiness to be had, but . now that's gone. his family is Gone. literally all that he has left is his mother's scarf, and even what it represents feels,,,,,,,,, soiled

he can't even visit his mother's grave. the cemetery is in castle town. he's been robbed of Literally Everything

.,, yeah ok that's all im so sorry GVIEAGYV hate to cut it short but this is too sad for me and like I said I'm a goddamn little bitch boy and if he doesn't get happiness RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!! I'LL DIE!!!!

i like to think he'd get better. but honestly ? that's . so much on him. all that on Such a sensitive and sweet person is a lot. i feel like he'd be miserably unhappy and hopeless for . a long time

#BUT GOOD THING THAT'S JUST A WHAT IF SCENARIO :DDDDD [my face is covered in tears] #when u think about it artemis and impa in this case Ruined His Life . [lets out the most stressed sigh you've ever heard] #once again have no idea how to tag this #tw homelessness #homelessness #tw starvation #starvation #<- he learned a Little from the others about hunting and foraging for food #it's enough to survive . but he's not getting a whole lot out of it #he's a city boy . he did not grow up having to hunt and he'd never even seen a goddamn deer before he became captain #even though the opportunity for angst is So goddamn high this is not a canon thing for like . my version of lu i guess #i need wars to be happy . #picture an image of maslow's hierarchy of needs next to me and the entire basic needs section is simply warriors being happy #torturing him is fun tho . he gets to suffer a little sometimes. as a treat #qktalks #soul-of-rei

[mejomonster]

Justice in the Dark, more on ep 2 since I can't shut the fuck up apparently even tho I just wrote a whole essay ToT

I get why the casting is who it is. In retrospect. In sitting here now lmao. Like I said I like who they cast performance wise they're doing perfect. But looks wise not all match exactly what was in my head. (Tao Ran does perfectly utterly in every way though lol). I think Fei Du was cast cause he looks a lot like fandom drawings of fei du. Not my personal image of him (my personal image of him is like slightly to the left of his most usual drawn look). But I can see a casting director thinking "yeah he'll look so much like the audio drama art and fanart etc" (also any skin smoothing just further highlights that). And Luo? Parts are clearly from the book, parts are from Zhao Yunlan (I imagine they wanted a specific kind of appeal you see in certain lead actors which he's also got here), and then i in reflection like how he looks "less intense" than fei du.

1 because fei du looks like he needs a home-cooked meal and Luo looks like he can cook it (which goes a lot more into their both romance dynamics and bigger dynamic of Luo being Feis path to healing, life, warmth, growth, him looking visually more soft and touchable and healthy and in touch with a realistic world all add to him being that For Fei Du).

2 Luo looks a bit older, just actor has quite distinct eyes (they could be similar age actors idk) and Luo seems Iike the increased stubble is more a present thing (with no facial hair in past scenes) so I think there's some choices there with age trying to be a noticeable trait. Versus Fei Du where he feels Iike a rich fantastical cold masked character out of an anime or out of Flower of Evil (he Screams protagonist from Flower of Evil energy but with even less convincing "ordinary approachable guy" ability to act, actually I think in general Flower of Evil fans and Beyond Evil fans would probably really like Fei Du). If costuming and makeup love me, over time fei dus visuals in the show may look less almost unreal and become more "looks like a random person you'd walk past" Iike Luo and Tao. As he opens up more and Luo becomes a part of his life more. So like... I get the choices on who to cast and why someone thought they'd look the part. Luo also we are seeing from Fei Dus pov (like most of the show), and Luos often snippy and ordery and it's in a way funny we see him as plain when Fei du does. In the scenes emotionally charged between them, I think Luos actor is shot quite handsomely, who's to say if that'll also be a trend of him looking more Model esque when Fei Du is emotionally open around him. (I also now that I'm settling into this show, appreciate that Luo looks like a plain everyday man sometimes. He's got model looks when the lighting flatters him. But also it not purposely played up constantly reminds me of the book - fei du in the show visually is constantly Model esque, in the book he's constantly dressed up and has peach blossom eyes and it's part of the Performance, and these visual drama choices echo that Feeling of the characters).

For the people like Me who prefer (or even need) action in their romance, im happy to report this is indeed a Flower of Evil situation! Lots of dollops of murder mystery, romance, and action! A nice little car chase was in episode 1 to set that expectation. I personally love me a good action scene, and the car scene looked significantly better than my (very low) expectations (Till Death Tear Us Apart cdrama looked decent to me though so temper yourself). Just wanted to happily report thank goodness there's murder and action in this.

Luo is handsome. (Don't trust my rants dissing on him lol) Like the scene of Fei Du as a child? I totally get why he's Captain Luo, why he's the guy who "wanted to save the whole universe." Why that day when he saw Fei Du absolutely destroyed, scared, he wanted to do anything to help him. And why he kept helping him for years after and still keeps track of him now. This is the "superhero" Luo that his team at their fondest see him as, that Tao sees him as at his best, that Fei Du saw him as when he was a child until Luo failed him (the whole world did) and Fei as a child blamed Luo for all of it to cope with the hopelessness he felt.

Just. This entire scene. I really felt that awful hopelessness. Luo Wenzhou realizing its hard to save even just one person, the looming threat he will soon try and fail to protect Fei Du and fail and fail and it will haunt him and cling on and he'll try so hard to Keep Trying as hard as it is and as much as Fei Du pushes him away and how awful it feels to Keep failing fei du. Fei Du looking at him for help, the only hand he can reach out to for it, and the realization that even this man who's like a superhero to him and an angel... can't. That no force in this world can fix this.

#rant #lb #justice in the dark #yep i am in deep now #im so messed up over that scene

[blankspaceblankday]

lyrics that describe eloise & theo 📚 and some fic ideas… pt 1

“take me back to the night we met. and then, i can tell myself what i’m supposed to do”

“i had all and then, most of you. some and now, none of you”

“do you think we ever had a chance? now i see it when i’m looking back”

“baby our love was beautiful, now it’s tragic”

“i can’t imagine falling in love with anyone else”

[eloise’s first experience with love was tragic. two like minded individuals unexpectedly falling in love. as her second season approaches, will she be able to fall in love with someone else?]

“you can hold my hands if no one’s home”

“you’re a pond and i’m an ocean”

“oh baby, i am wreck when i’m without you. i need you here to stay”

“was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden”

“i can’t speak fast or else i’ll crack”

“cause there is something and there is nothing. there is nothing in between”

“she’s a, she’s a lady and i’m just a line without a hook”

“the road that was broken brought us together”

“i know that you could fall for a thousand kings and hearts that would give you a diamond ring”

[fate brought them to each other. theo knew that eloise could have all the richest dukes and marquees of the ton. but eloise only has eyes for him. how can eloise make him understand that?]

“make sure nobody sees you leave, good over your head keep your eyes down”

“take the road less traveled by, tell yourself you can always stop”

“it’s born from one single glance but it dies and it dies, a million little times”

“stolen stares show their truth one single time. but they lie and they lie and they lie”

“look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you taught me a secret language i can't speak with anyone else”

“you know damn well, for you i’d ruin myself a million little times”

[he was a printer’s apprentice. she was the sister of a viscount. in a world where people of different classes were separated, they somehow found each other. through longing gazes, secret messages passed about each other’s truest feelings, they fell in love. would eloise leave high society and receive scorn for love?]

“i’ve made up my mind, don’t need to think it over”

“i know this is love. but if i tell the world, i’ll never say enough cause it was big said to you”

“even if i knew my place should i leave it there”

“should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements? even if it leads nowhere”

[eloise has made up her mind about theo right? that’s what she told herself.]

“i’m reaching out and i just can’t tell you why ”

“im caught up in you”

“untouchable burning brighter than the sun. and when you’re close i feel like coming undone”

“in the middle of the night when i’m in this dream, it’s like a million little stars spelling out your name”

“c’mon, c’mon, say that we’ll be together”

“in the middle of the night waking from this dream, i wanna feel you by my side standing next to me”

[eloise dreams about the life she could have with theo, even though they are untouchable]

“darling you’re the one i want”

“i hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this”

[modern au! eloise hated getting into sticky situations, but falling in love might be something she did not mind that much. afterall, who wouldn’t want to meet someone they can connect with both intellectually and emotionally]

“can you imagine looking for love in somewhere it’s not”

“nothings ever enough for me. i keep it buried underneath”

[modern au! eloise unexpectedly finding love when all she wanted to do was to meet the man behind the blog and discuss her thoughts with him]

“you claim it’s not in the cards and fate is pulling you miles away. and out of reach from me”

“you’re here in my heart, so who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny”

“you think it’s easy, you think i don’t wanna run to you”

“everything keeps us apart, and i’m the one you’re meant to find”

“why don’t we rewrite the stars, change the world to be ours”

“you know i want you, it’s not a secret i try to hide. but i can’t have you. we’re bound to break and my hands are tied”

[soulmate au! most in the world believe in the concept of soulmates. your perfect half that would complete you and make you feel satisfied when you meet them. you’ll be able to see what they have written appear on your skin. theo and eloise have found each other in a sea of people. despite being from different social classes. although soulmates are meant to be, people have often abandoned their soulmates that they deemed are unworthy to be with them. it was not unheard of.] (lmao someone can continue this, honestly have no idea what i have just written)

some song recommendations are from the eloise x theo discord server. feel free to expand on the ideas and write them, cause i’ll probably never write them ;)and i’m not the best at writing

#Spotify #theo x eloise #eloise x theo #eloise bridgerton #theo sharpe #theloise #bridgerton

[weirdlypersonalrpmemes]

sentence starters:  text posts i have saved, part 1. tw: blood, death.        

❝ i do not want romance... i just want a big sword ❞

❝ me caring is a publicity stunt ❞

❝ im not a people pleaser anymore im a huge cunt now ❞

❝ an apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough ❞

❝ some of you need to be told to shut the fuck up more. not me tho im super funny and my tits are fucking massive ❞

❝ do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection ❞

❝ when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i am as a person + she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself. and i had no idea what to say bc ‘myself’ is a concept i’m not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that’s a part of me + i was like okay!! that makes sense!! so she clicked her pen and was like “you said you like video games before” and i was like sure bud :) and watched her write down, in capital letters ‘GAMER’ and i’ve never had so much terror struck into my h ❞

❝ yeah this is my character cool josé. he’s like normal josé except he didn’t fail his driving test three Times ❞

❝ “what are you gonna do, cry about it?” yes . the fuck ❞

❝ a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently ❞

❝ *don’t stop me now by queen plays as i lay bleeding to death in walmart* ❞

❝ i love when men are scared to talk to me like yes dont fucking talk to me bitch!! ❞

❝ if you ever disrespected me and i was calm bout it.. don’t trust me ❞

❝ “first one always goes to blathers” i say as i hand my new born child to the owl ❞

❝ no your honor i absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly, ❞

❝ its just me and my gay little iced coffee against the fucking world ❞

❝ ‘gays cant cook’ then what the FUCK was remy fighting for in ratatouille ? ❞

❝ gender is a performance and im doing improv comedy ❞

❝ getting fake asked out in middle school is really a whole other form of trauma ❞

❝ do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends ❞

❝ *has video game open* hm i dont feel like playing this right now actually *closes it* man i wish i was playing video game right now *opens it again* hm i dont feel like like playing this right now actually *closes it ❞

❝ when i was young i used to think having interests was important. now as an adult i see there was no need for me to ever develop a personality. feeling a little betrayed, but not sure by whom. ❞

❝ he’s not baby he’s like 25 years old & doesn’t know how to clean the sink ❞

❝ this is all because i never experienced the triumphs and defeats the epic highs and lows of high school football ❞

❝ well well well. if it isn’t my old friend, the dawning realization that i fucked up real bad ❞

❝ idont have any talent. i like to look at grass and i dont have other hobbies. when people ask me how im doing i ignore the question ❞

❝ i only set you on fire a little bit. grow up. ❞

❝ i hate this place i want to go to build a bear ❞

❝ [wearing a fake leather jacket, eating ritz crackers out of the box, reclining in a casual position somewhere i shouldnt logically be able to access] im emotionally vulnerable as shit dude ill cry on any of you ❞

#sentence starters #rp meme #rp memes #ask meme #ask memes #inbox meme #inbox memes #mine #text posts i have saved

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

#lord boros #geryuganshoop #groribas #melzalgald #dark matter thieves #opm #i put way too much thought into this after not thinking abt them in a long while #it was fun tho #Anonymous

[hermywolf]

ranking my favorite characters about random shit part 5

ranking my favorite characters (clarke griffin, dean winchester, fox mulder, rose tyler, newt, kaz brekker, samwise gamgee, charles xavier, bill denbrough, lord asriel, steve rogers, scott mccall, anna milton and barry berkman) about random shit. this is entirely self-indulgent

Part 5: How they’d react to a breakup (i’m imagining a completely random oc as the one breaking up with them because if i start thinking of the people i ship them with breaking up with them i WILL cry)

1- NEWT

he’s the sweetest man on earth he’d want to talk about it and understand his partner’s reasons and he’d be so kind and understanding even though he’d be sad lemme tell you this man is a SAINT

2- STEVE ROGERS

sweet understanding KING. absolute TREASURE. he’d be so confused and sad at first but he’d be SO understanding UGH i am in love with this man

3- SCOTT MCCALL

remember when allison sorta kinda broke up with him and he was all sweet and kind about it and said that he believed they would find their way to each other again eventually. yeah. iconic behavior. king shit

4- SAMWISE GAMGEE

he’s the PRESIDENT of ‘let’s stay friends!’ squad he’ll definitely stay in touch with all his exes they’re all his absolute besties

5- CHARLES XAVIER

mr telepath mindreader therapist teacher man absolutely sees it coming from a thousand miles away and he might even be the one to bring it up so that his partner doesn’t worry about it. he will be sad but he gets over it in a healthy way because he’s (MOSTLY) in touch with his feelings

6- ANNA MILTON

for a fallen angel with a bit of a god complex she’s surprisingly well adjusted. i think she’s the kind to definitely stay friends with her exes except like two of them which she’s got five different plans to murder each. all in all if it’s a healthy breakup they stay friends if it involves cheating she’s out to get you motherfucker and you know what you deserve it i mean who the FUCK would cheat on ANNA MILTON of all people istg

7- DEAN WINCHESTER

whoever thinks dean is emotionally constipated enough to be the ‘i didnt like u anyway’ kind has NOT seen spn 1x13 road 666 like GUYS. he pretends to be this no-chick-flick-moments and no-attachment kinda dude but we all know he actually cares SO much and if you look at his relationship with cassie or lisa he’s actually pretty open and communicative and sincere and he geniunely tries to talk about shit with them?? so he does have a constructive and heartfelt conversation and says he understands but he also WILL cope by either going on more hunts to distract himself or by locking himself in his room with pizza and movies in his hotdog pants and send noods socks, s14 style. TONS of ice cream. he’ll ghost his ex for a while when he’s coping with it but then later on they do end up being besties (yes i AM on the team dean-becomes-bff-with-all-his-exes don’t mind me just spreading my dean being besties with anna, cassie, lisa,amara, benny and crowley agenda)

8- BILL DENBROUGH

he’s pissed and sad and offended and grumpy and confused he just feels a LOT of shit at the same time like he’s having a full breakdown inside but from the outside his reaction is pretty much ‘what. oh. ok’

9- LORD ASRIEL

he does not, and mark my words on this one, give a single fuck. he IS what kaz pretends to be and what ketterdam thinks he is. asriel does not give a FLYING FUCK he’s like ‘well ok then see you around i guess’ and then just moves on. he was probably cheating on his partner anyway if we’re being honest here, he’s just that terrible. god why is he my favorite character again- oh right he’s insanely hot and wants to murder god right right that tracks

10- FOX MULDER

he’s extremely sweet and compassionate and understanding but then he disappears for like five months to chase down an alien in guatemala or some shit and then comes back pretending as if nothing happened at all

11- CLARKE GRIFFIN

she’s NOT happy about it and gets all grumpy and pouty and will angrily rant about it to her friends for ages but then once she’s over it she’s like. OVER over it. she completely moves on, like full on flip the switch and the feelings are GONE

12- ROSE TYLER

full breakdown in her room with tubs and tubs of ice cream wondering what she did wrong and then probably gets offered by a friend to go throw eggs at their house or some dumb shit. rose says no but she ALMOST did it. she keeps asking if there’s someone else even when it’s very clear that there’s NOT.

13- KAZ BREKKER

allow me to introduce you to the pettiest bitch on EARTH. he will definitely not hurt his ex in any way but he’ll do his absolute best to show them how much they’re missing. like he’s PETTY about it he’ll hold a gruge months, no year, no DECADES after it happened. he shows absolutely no emotions whatsoever you’d barely notice there’s been any change in his behavior, he’s not, like, sad or angry or anything, he’s just suddenly VERY devoted to the fact that everyone must know how AMAZING he’s doing and how rich and powerful and feared he is and how much a hypothetical ex-partner is missing. like this bitch probably has a full twenty pages long plan about what to do in case he gets dumped so that his ex will regret it terribly. and the worst is that kaz is a smart bitch who knows people’s weaknesses and how to exploit them so it WORKS it works and he absolutely loves it, jesper is like ‘dude how come every single time you got dumped they came back asking you to get back together only for you to reject them EXACTLY five months later’ and kaz hiding the twenty pages long binder with his elaborated plan behind his back as if it wasn’t carefully calculated and just shrugging like ‘idk i guess im a catch’ he makes everyone SO angry and honestly good for him!

14- BARRY BERKMAN

two words: murder spree. healthy coping mechanisms WHO we don’t know her in this house he’s sad and angry and he’s going to make it YOUR problem. guns out angry bill hader face ON baby. pew pew motherfucker it’s murder time. bam thirty casualties. rip to them. and he doesn’t even feel better after it either he’s crushed by guilt and having ANOTHER breakdown which will result in MORE ptsd and more sadness and anger and eventually ANOTHER breakdown and ANOTHER murder spree. its a lose-lose situation for everyone. except for his partner who’s free of his shit now i guess so true of them

#hermy posts #ranking my favorite characters about random shit

[tired-boyz]

So me and pix sat down to finally watch all of Sanders Sides. Eventually Pix got bored and Shi stopped wanting to watch from a distance so he joined me instead. These are our thoughts, comments, and questions while watching it from video 1-39. 1. Who the hell as morals? 2. I would love to make videos like this. 3. The blue dude is an idiot and its kinda funny 4."Adultry" 5. The emo one reminds us of Shi. (At this point they started making jokes that i didn’t understand in the discord) 6. "Ill be back." "Ill be ready" me at depression. 7. ITS 2016-2017!? 8. This is what the inside of my head sounds like. 9. Hes a good singer. 10: "youre a emo nightmare." "Thanks." Any of us at shi. 11. Im pretty sure we all dont like Disney...well maybe Zay does. 12. Im curious about each of thier Hogwarts houses. 13. I also have popcorn. 14. Bizardvark is trash… 15. ...i kinda don't like the prince dude 16. This is a lot of just what shi and pix fighting is like 17. Glasses dude [ black shirt] also kinda reminds me of shi too 18: "i was more of a thrower than a catcher." Thats an innuendo. This man is saying he’s a top. 19: Practice on each other!? 20: he called him daddy 21: "can i take a stab?" "Who gave him a knife!?" 22: "feelings. The pain of my existence" me and Shi 23. Okay Logan is the black shirt dude. 24. Okay so prince man is bi or ace? 25: ooof. Innocent one finds out about ships. 26: "do you trust me?" "...no." us at each other 27: that rap.. 28: gay prince dude is Roman. Noted. 29. Im on episode 14/39 30: me too about growing up 31: "i wanna fight you now." 32: "we have the same face" something we yell at each other all the time 33: the "my eyes!" 34: okay dork dude is Patton. 35: zay has described Shi as "Spicey" before. 36: us in the headspace 37: Shi reminds us of both Logan and the Emo one. Zay reminds us of Patton and Roman. 38: where do people get the sleep character? (The discord explained it to me) 39. None of these boys are slytherins. 40: i understand your guys quote about adultry earlier. 41: shi "feels personally attacked" by the anxiety video. 42: "anxiety and logic are my only two emotions" -shi. 43: Patton and Zayden have the same energy fight me. -shi 44: virgil is emo boy okay 45: "congratulations to graduating to full time clown" 46: this Hogwarts video is interesting 47: he uses the term headspace a lot..and im very framiliar with that word. 48: okay after the part 2 of dealing with breakups shi has chaged his mind and said i remind him of Patton more. 49: virgil pulls his sleves up to his knuckles and i called shi out for that 50: ew a snake bitch. 51: also where the fuck is dad? 52. Logan has a praise kink dont @ me. 53: "they always do this." Probably something we say a lot about each other too 54: he gave virgil a fidget cube....we totally dont have a fidget spinner in our hand before that. 55: virgial called Roman honey. Okay. 56: coping through humor and dads getting sad....i relate. 57: we also write down stupud stuff each other say 58: HE CUSSED YES 59: "hi. Hello. What do you want?" 60: "the call and the wedding cant be at the same. Time...even if they are you can be late to one if youre that worried. Just explain your situation" -Shis imput. 61: "im to emotionally unstable for jury duty" 62: "okay so we kiss now?" 63: snake bitch is just screaming Anarchy basically. Abolish the government. 64: im not ready for the talk of intrusive thoughts 65: who is that ugly ass man who clocked roman? 66: oh. Its those kinds not the dark and damaging stuff 67: hes gay let the man talk about butts. 68: "bitch what is your deal?" 69. Were on the last video 70. I kinda feel bad for patton in this. 71. But hes also kinda crazy. As i said at the start. Morals are weird who the fuck as them? 72. Roman also has a praise kink. 73. BANANA CONDOM 74. Okay learned snake mans name 75. This is like watching a movie. 76. So does this mean that Logan has a Darkside counter part and Virgil has ethier a darker side or a light side? 77. Add jannus to the list of people with praise kinks.

Final thoughts:

Pix: That was alright, kinda funny. Not that into it.

Shi: I liked it, and enjoyed how problems were presented as not just black and white. I enjoyed that it did show that there is more than one solution to a situation and that working in a group can sometimes benefit. I however envy those communication skills and wish we could talk like that. The farther we got in the more I felt derealization hitting for some reason. It was also similar to watching a movie the farther it got in. While it was entertaining I did lose focus at some parts and a lot of the lore can slip by very quickly. As far as the sides themselves go it was interesting having Chase point out characteristics he saw in them and me and likewise back to him. I didn’t choose favourites and don’t really plan to but it was nice seeing that every character had their flaws and were portrayed as imperfect.

Chase: It was fun and interesting to watch. I also zoned out a bit during watching it so I probably missed some things. I think taking notes was a good idea but i still dont remember where some of those notes came from. The videos were entertaining and the characters were pretty cool but it did seem a bit repetitive. I think they even made a video talking about that. I don’t have a favourite but i dont really like the prince dude still. Also agree with shi that it felt more like a movie the last few episodes and i’d be down to watch more when they come out. I also liked spending time with Shi while watching this. Me and him never really interact and it was cool hanging out and just chilling and cracking jokes with him.

#Sanders Sides #Thomas Sanders #SandersSides #First Thoughts

[normal-thoughts-official]

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

#ask #pastaownsmylife #sorry i got a little carried away but lets be real we all knew it would happen #im emo im dying squirtle #sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec meta #magnus bane meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

[onceuponanaromantic]

🍵 let the world know of our angst 🍵

 Aha.

Welcome everyone to:

TUA JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY AU  by @a-blue-hoodie and me!

In this AU, we have *drumroll please*

DIEGO

- A protective Tengu who mainly takes care of the Patches

- He Fucked UpTM once and Eudora ended up being killed

- It’s his greatest failure and he’s vowed to do better

- He’s friends with Klaus! And Ben!

KLAUS

- Our favourite ghost seeing boy is a shinigami!

- Everything he touches dies and when his situation gets particularly bad and he’s feeling emotional, he emits a Cloud of Death which causes everything in a certain radius around him to die

- He HATES it and he wishes he wasn’t a shinigami

- Boi’s like immortal and he’s constantly shunned by everyone

- He mostly hangs around Ben and Vanya (who is dead)

- He’s been friends with Ben for a long time, and at some points they haven’t interacted with humans for a Really Long Time which leads to... hilarity.

- Spoiler alert: he kills Ben by accident

BEN

- Bean boy’s a kitsune!

- He’s got like 6 tails when he meets Klaus

- Spoiler alert: He dies

- That’s not the angst part, oh no, we have WORST hoho

- Ben’s been captured by an onmyogi and basically forced to kill and tortured all the way since he has 2 tails to the time he had 5 tails

- He only escapes because the last time he was told to kill, it was a small boy named Dave. Who realises what happens so he fakes death and binds Ben to him to protect Ben all the way until Klaus turns up to investigate

- See all these dead souls that Ben kills? They did NOT die easy or happily. So there’s a huge influx of these souls so Klaus is like ok we need to check this out

- The only thing that gets Ben through is the knowledge that it can’t be forever. It can’t be because Five told him that his ghost will only have 6 tails so he knows he’ll die at some point. 

- Then Ben meets Klaus and like he’s so thankful like ‘oh are you here for me finally?’ and Klaus is like ‘No????’ and Ben ends up befriending Klaus knowing he’s going to end up dead.

- His power’s exponential not linear like most other Kitsune so by the time he was 6 tails he had like 9 tail power

- Basically he’s crazy powerful which is part of the reason why Five just told him

- After his death, which was caused by Klaus, he’s actually kind of relieved like ‘IM FINALLY DEAD HAH YOU CAN’T DO SHIT TO ME NOW’ and like he’s the least emotionally affected by his own death. Klaus is sobbing and grieving and he just

- returns. Completely nonchalantly.

- He retains his powers after death too.

FIVE

- Teleporting tenko kitsune that’s the boy

- Idiot was supposed to ascend to heaven but... he forgot and missed his window

- He was doing research and got distracted. (NO ONE BELIEVES IT WHEN HE TELLS THEM THAT)

- So now he’s forever stuck in a child’s body

- He can teleport and see into the future

- First time he met ben he was like ‘oh your ghost is going to have 6 tails’ and Ben was like ????

- He’s been around so long he genuinely doesn’t understand why people are upset by the idea of death and themselves/the people close to them dying

- got his name because he met Delores when he had 5 tails and she didn’t know what a kitsune was so she just called him 5

- Then delores dies and he wasn’t bothered enough to find a new name so yeah

- He’s like insensitive as fuck but also really wise

VANYA

- Resident Violinist is now a natural disaster causing onryo

- she was really scared of her powers and timid and very much a walkover when she was alive

- then Leonard tried to use her as a Nice Guy and manipulate her into causing a natural disaster around and she Finds Out about what he tried to do and she went ‘oh FUCK THIS’

- Leonard ends up killing her, but her ghost is full of anger and having none of it

- and proceeds to enlist Klaus’ help and kills Leonard

- that’s the first time Klaus is really ok with taking his gloves off and like trying to kill because really Leonard was an asshole and he did just try to destroy an entire country because he wanted power. (also Leonard reminds him of the onmyogi who controlled Ben for centuries)

- After he kills Leonard, Klaus thinks Vanya’s unfinished businessTM should be done but like she’s just. I’m Still Angry I’m Staying.

- And Klaus is like uh. Sure I guess. And so she hangs around him and somehow she retains her powers as a ghost?

- She’s Really Sassy and sometimes Klaus will be like ‘Would it kill you to be a little nicer?’ and she looks at him deadpan and goes ‘yes’

- She’s also constantly salty and has full control of her abilities because ‘really. I’m dead what’s the worst that can happen’

BONUS:

DAVE:

- Hachiman/the actual Prince

- He was supposed to become the emperor but went like nahhhh

- He’s actually like a minor god of war and worshipped by the samurai but like he doesn’t brag about that

- As a child he saved Ben until he met Klaus and like ‘Oh ok shinigami ok I can trust him’

-When he’s older he’ll remember he did Something about a Kitsune and a Shinigami but he doesn’t know it’s ben and klaus

- hilariously he ends up dating Klaus

- He meets Klaus at a ball and like some cinderella bullshit happens and like Klaus doesn’t recognise him because he’s been away from civilisation for so long

- Hilarity ensues because Klaus introduces him to Diego who DOES recognise him and Dave shushes Diego like SHHHH DONT TELL HIM HE DOESN’T KNOW

- Poor longsuffering Diego tbh. He tries to Hint at Klaus but Klaus does NOT get it

- ‘Oh no the prince is way out of my league I’m sure he’s nice and all but I’ve already got Dave’ ‘I’m sure the prince would be lucky to have you.’ ‘Aww thanks Dave’ *Diego sobbing*

- Oh yeah he gets killed.

- Klaus’ shinigami powers don’t work on him but Klaus doesn’t know that. Dave can’t be killed by magical means but like normal physical means work

- He dies in a horrific fashion

AND THAT’S ALL

Some key scenes:

- Klaus often walks about with Ben and later Vanya by his side making comments. Especially after Ben’s death. They’re really good friends

- POOR DIEGO TRIES SO HARD TO HINT AND LIKE EVEN EUDORA GETS IT BUT NO KLAUS NEVER FIGURES OUT FOR A LONG TIME THAT HIS BOYFRIEND IS AN ACTUAL GOD HE JUST THINKS DIEGO’S BEING A BI DISASTER

- ‘how’ ‘idk man but Ben didn’t know either? anyway don’t tell him’ ‘UGH’

- Ben’s death comes about because like Klaus is trying to snatch Ben away from someone who’s trying to control him so he’s trying to kill the onmyogi after Ben so gloves off but his gloves are still off when he touches Ben’s hoshi no tama, aka his actual soul. Usually his powers don’t work on Ben but like it’s his soul so Ben feels something weird and goes ‘well shit’ and dies

- Ben’s had a hard life really like he was kidnapped by someone who took note of his prodigious and unnaturally powerful magic when he was just 2 tails and forced to kill. When he kills, his power grows but it also hurts Ben a LOT. And he hates it and it’s torture but he’s literally forced to.

- The only thing he can cling on to is Five’s declaration that his ghost will have 6 tails so it won’t be forever it’ll end at some point and that’s how he endures being tortured for several centuries :)

- He’s so grateful to see Klaus because he really thinks that it’s the end for him thank god. and he’s so happy and klaus is like no? i’m not here to kill you i’m literally trying to prevent your death and ben is disappointed

- Eudora’s death is a really sore spot for Diego because like he was off chasing some robbers and vigilante-ing becos Eudora told him there were some robbers threatening people and he was like WELL LET ME HELP. And he does manage to catch them but that means that he uses some magic.

- So when the Patches are in danger, he protects them, but Eudora realises her friend is in danger and runs back in for them and Diego doesn’t have enough magic to shield her too and that’s how she ends up dying.

- See vigilante work is NOT part of tengu’s job so Diego effectively failed terribly at doing his job

- No one blames Diego, least of all Eudora, but like he failed. He failed in his job as a Tengu he’s a failure of a protective spirit he had only one job in his life he had to do 1 (One) thing and he couldn’t do it.

#the umbrella academy #au #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five #five hargreeves #number five #vanya hargreeves #dave katz #eudora patch #japanese mythology au

[kingofthewilderwest]

it kinda bugs me how they cant make httyd3 longer just so they can emphasize the story in a deeper meaning, like your post abt it being disproportionate. httyd3 had a LOT more plot than httyd2 and we can already see how it has to cramp so much and why that makes D2's pace felt pretty fast. the structure of the story is actually well planned.. perfect, to be exact! but the execution like putting pauses, necessary humor, longer dialogue, is whats needed to make it um, understandable? im not sure..

this isnt meant to judge the movie as bad though! but its a question ive been asking why they cant do it longer, for that sake. is it the budget? was Dean really certain the script is okay? or is it meant to be like this so people can interpret the movie their way? (oof that one is confusing).. i dont know, i want to ask about your thoughts on that >

From this.

It’s an interesting conversation for sure! I believe that THW doesn’t have to be longer to be extremely successful in the ideas it needs to convey! The core ideas being:

Toothless cannot be a wild dragon and strong alpha leader with humans. Other dragons probably deserve the respect of needing wild dragon needs, too.

Humans like Grimmel are extremely dangerous to dragons and will continue to arise, so dragons need to go to an area separate from humans to live in optimal peace.

Hiccup and Toothless’ powerful friendship will separate (insofar as physical location) due to the first two points

I know you’re not the only person I’ve talked to who wanted a longer time because you feel like certain elements were cramped, needed more breathing room, or that dangerous plot points didn’t get enough sense of weight. More time would presumably give that flow and sense of scale and danger. Now, it’s true that more time would give us more content to develop these things. That said, I believe solutions aren’t always “add more.” Creating good art isn’t about adding new things; it’s about knowing when to take away or alter, and how to make every second of your creation count optimally.

I remember when I was doing my music composition degree, my instructors hammered into me what would make a good final piece: the editing process of deleting measures - even measures that were really good! - because they didn’t fit what the final product needed. It’s painful to delete, but ultimately, it’s freeing; instead of making a music piece more cluttered to put all possible good ideas in, I can make it less cluttered, more manageable, more beautiful, more meaningful, and more effective to audiences. A better overall piece isn’t putting in every good idea I have; it’s leaving the piece with the beautiful ideas it needs.

I suggest The Hidden World doesn’t need added materials so much as it needs refining what’s already there.

Budget, production green lighting, and carefulness to the script all seem to have been done. HTTYD 3 was given a longer production time than originally planned. They pushed back the date exactly so they could make their best product. Interviews with people like DeBlois and Spielberg (who read several definitions of the script) talk about how much the script was transformed and bettered through its drafts. They did enough tweaking and care to rework the script. As for budget, the movie was 129 million USD, which sure was the cheapest of the HTTYD trilogy to create, but it’s about on par with what DreamWorks has spent on other movies like Home and Trolls - it’s not like there was skimping - and it’s all about making your money count, which I think this glorious, top notch animation quality film effectively did. So from what I’ve heard, I think production ran fine and we can’t question THW there.

I think most of THW’s problems can be solved simply by tweaking how scenes go down, taking a few small elements out, and adding a few small elements in. It doesn’t need time changes; it needs internal modifications to what’s already there. What I propose wouldn’t change much of the movie’s length - though maybe I we could add 5-8 minutes for things like a longer climax.

1. To Feel Less “Cluttered” or “Rushed”

The movie didn’t feel rushed to me or too cluttered, but it’s cluttered. You’re right. In addition to creating less clutter, my suggested tweaks will clear up time THW can spend elsewhere, streamline THW into fewer palatable essential ideas, and give a slight tone makeover that will add more sense of danger and conflict that THW needs.

Fewer humor side gags with minor characters (and less time spent on them). The gang’s antics are fun additions, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re central to what the plot needs. Spending too much time with them adds clutter and takes away from plot-central, tone-central material. There’s a huge gaggle of gags in THW, more than any movie needs in a less-than-two-hour-long run time. Do we need all these to give THW its comic relief? Don’t get me wrong - I loved the humor - but time needs to be prioritized, and the movie will be improved once “less is more.”

Less time with Tuffnut’s pep talks. This goes with my first point. This comedic gag was lengthy in particular. It’s in part because it connects to the idea of Hiccstrid marrying, which THW does make more central in its themes. However, I also propose:

Spend less time (or delete) the will-they won’t-they marry Hiccstrid plot. THW intends to parallel Hiccup and Toothless maturing into adulthood, including their romantic connections. However, a will-they won’t-they marry subplot in Hiccstrid isn’t needed to create that parallel. Not to mention: it can be uncomfortable to have this undertone of romance as “required” adulthood maturation, and the fact that Hiccstrid are so close and intimate makes it feel “off” that they’re so uncomfortable talking about marriage. Spend less time here, simply make fans aware they’re going to marry in the future but not today, and return to the main relationships THW needs to pay attention to: that of Hicctooth and Nightlight. 

2. To Make Grimmel a Greater Sense of Threat

One of the central points is that Grimmel is extremely dangerous and represents one of many humans that’ll continue to be a threat to dragons. While Grimmel can be overcome, Hiccup will need to interact with Grimmel in such a way he can understand that dragons and humans cannot coexist in today’s civilization without continuing to risk danger, and that it’s best for everyone to live happily in two separate civilizations. It’s not being defeated by the enemy’s oppression, but taking a brilliant countermeasure to give humans and dragons both a better existence.

Making Grimmel feel like a greater sense of threat, and helping audience members understand what Grimmel represents overarchingly of humanity’s current antagonistic state, will help us and Hiccup process why a separation is best. This can be done by:

Show Grimmel’s impact on human society. All we’d have to do is change what his base looks like: it could be located in an area taken over from another human civilization, showing his army’s power and place in this world over humans.

Greater weight placed on Berk’s exodus. The Hooligans lost their home, but it’s played too lightly. It’s not written optimally as an emotionally impacting or destabilizing moment, which decreases the sense of threat Grimmel has. Instead of having the Hooligans excited to find New Berk, show them grieving. They can butt against Hiccup’s ideas of finding the Hidden World, but instead in a way where they’re frustrated at his naive solution and hurt at what they left behind. This isn’t adding time to THW; this is tweaking phraseology and presenting an event differently.

Change how Berk is abandoned. To make the attack feel more dire, threatening, either: 1. Have the Hooligans more reluctant and grumpy to leave in the town meeting, and not play the leaving scene so lightly, or 2. Have Grimmel chase them out of Berk so they have to flee then and there. This might even reduce time! 

Show Grimmel’s power over dragons. We could have a few-second-long flashback of him standing over a field of dead Night Fury bodies, or have his place cloaked in dragon skins or skulls. 

Show Grimmel’s power as a warlord. Grimmel acts in almost a solo fashion, despite cooperating with warlords and having an army. It doesn’t give us a good sense of scale. Show his interactions better with the whole of his forces to make him feel more dangerous, and for humanity as a whole to feel more like a threat against dragons. For example, in the scenes where he’s trying to trap the dragon riders, show him commanding more people.

Show Grimmel’s impact on the dragon (and/or human worlds) through landscape. What if, as the Hairy Hooligans try to find a new place to stay, they fly over several islands that have been destroyed by Grimmel’s forces? Either human civilizations, or homes once havens to dragons, with characters making comment they “hope” people got away. And what if, when Grimmel takes their dragons near the end of THW, it’s again through more violence and a raid and fire and destruction? 

Conversations more clearly talk about Grimmel’s dangers over dragons and humans, and how he’s one of many people that’ll arise. This idea is embedded in THW dialogue, but not clearly enough to fully grasp its weight, especially not in the sense we see characters grasp this. Have Hiccup and Astrid and Valka or something talk about how widely destructive Grimmel is, how even once he’s gone another man like him will take his place, and that while they may continue to fight and win for human and dragonkind, it’s ultimately not the right move to make for everyone to live safest and alive. A conversation laying this out makes a world of difference in our understanding of what dangers are going down and why we need to come to the solution THW concludes with. Again, this isn’t adding time; it’s changing phraseology. 

Add a few minutes to the climax. Make the final fight with Grimmel obviously the final fight, the threat bigger, the action more intense.

Perhaps show that Berk’s done good work changing the world by their choices. Even though Berk ultimately decides to let the dragons go, they are meant to be the voice of peace that changes their world. The good guys can’t resign to letting themselves live under the thumb of bad guys’ choices. Show that they’ve made a difference - Grimmel and his armies are gone and the world is regrowing (no more torched landscape, if we add that element in) - but that it’s still going to help their world by letting dragons go, too… for this generation, at least.

3. To Make Hiccup and Toothless’ Parting Jive Better

Hiccup and Toothless separate out of need - they can’t live in the same place for the better of both their kinds. However, since the movie spends so much time on Toothless chasing after the Light Fury, we don’t get that full sense of need. I propose:

Open THW with a clear Hicctooth sappy bonding moment. We need things like “Forbidden Friendship” and “Where No One Goes” to feel the power of Hicctooth’s love. Give us that starting sense in THW of how close they are before adding in the complications. It can even be done by tweaking how the opening fight scene goes down.

Show dragons profiting by living with humans, but it also being Complicated with their wild side. We need to acknowledge that the relationship between humans and dragons has done the dragons good, too! Otherwise it might feel incongruous with the rest of the franchise.

Show dragons being unfit in the urban area through their own restlessness. The movie tries to show this with Moosie Boi being too big for Berk, and Berk being so crowded with dragons Gobber finds the soup unsanitary. But if we see Stormfly restless and want to leave for the Hidden World, too, wouldn’t this say something more about where dragons are pulled to and belong?

Less time spent on Toothless investigating the Night Fury. You can’t cut this down too much or we’ll feel like rushing, but since THW focuses so much on just Toothless and the Light Fury’s connection rather than an overarching problem for dragons, it’s hard to feel the full-scale issues of the problem. Making it just him and her feels more like a hook up love story than “dragons and humans are incompatible for their needs.”

Change Toothless’ body language. Show more emotional division in Toothless about his conflicting options. Show him hesitant to leave Hiccup and the two interact over that. Show him lonely away from his kind when with Hooligans. Show him feeling that loneliness met - that deep emotional need of being with his own species - when he’d thought was lost to him (rather than focusing on it being a romantic hookup interest). This doesn’t take more time; it tweaks what was already given on screen.

Change Toothless’ emotions with the Light Fury to feel more like loneliness being met than horny boi practicing kissing with a rock. This does a better job of showing that Toothless has a deep need that needs to be met as a wild animal and as a social draconic species.

Change conversations Hiccup has with humans about Toothless’ struggle. Maybe have Hiccup processing less with people and more by himself or with Toothless. Don’t write the conversations with people be about “Toothless has a girlfriend” and “of course he left.” Discuss instead how Night Furies are social creatures and Toothless hasn’t been with his kind in six years - that’s a huge hole in his heart being filled. Validate the deep connection Hiccup and Toothless have, while simultaneously acknowledging the struggle of this moment now. The movie shows that the Light Fury can never be domesticated, so I think that’s fine, but maybe one line from Astrid saying, “I don’t think she’ll come to live with us,” would be enough to help other audience members pick that up too.

More time spent on all dragons being in danger, and Toothless as an alpha unable to protect them with Hairy Hooligans. The story doesn’t show Toothless being much of an alpha - intentional - until he reaches the Hidden World and it clicks. But I suggest it’d be more effective to pull this out more than having an issue with Moose Boi taking up too much space in Berk, and Berk being so crowded Gobber has a dragon in his soup.

Put more of a deal on Toothless being an alpha. You can say that Toothless didn’t understand or use his role as alpha when with humans, but I think showing more sense of conflict, and of an alpha needing to be wild to protect his own, would be useful. Make this an issue for all dragons. The alpha status being used as a blackmail device against Toothless to keep the Light Fury alive could be replaced with us seeing the full species of dragonkind being unable to be protected by an alpha apart from his own people. More needs to be done than dragons bowing to him in one scene to understand what the alpha does for his society.

Show Toothless with more Light Furies. The Light Fury being his singular focus is great. But what about, in the Hidden World, Hiccup and Astrid watch Toothless interacting with a whole group of Night Furies, and he’s clearly in a situation that was Made For Him?

THW already has great content in there - Toothless and the Light Fury interacting, Hiccup crying when he realizes Toothless is fit in the Hidden World, Hiccup freaking out and Astrid comforting him when he feels a low, and Hiccup and Toothless parting ways touchingly at the end.

With these proposed tweaks, we get Toothless and Hiccup’s relationship being addressed deeply from the angle of both friends. We understand what both Toothless and Hiccup emotionally feel, and palatably sense how both love the other. We get a sense that Toothless is attracted to the Light Fury and might want to mate, but that she’s also calling him into a wild life and reminding him that he’s been alone, separated from his kind. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but all dragons who might be called back to the Hidden World. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but his whole role as alpha affecting the entirety of dragonkind.

And once we add in a greater sense of Grimmel being dangerous, and that more humans like him will continue to rise up, we can understand why Berk would release all their dragons. It’s not that dragons hate living with humans - THW can make that clear - and it’s not that dragons haven’t been profited by living with humans. But in the current call, the current situation, it’s best to go to the Hidden World.

I’m mostly tweaking how scenes go down, changing lines and reactions rather than adding material. Feel free to propose a longer movie! For me, THW already has enough space to share its message. Maybe it needed to be a few minutes longer, but I suppose my own sense is that they had enough time to budget in this material, make a smooth-flowing movie with all the material they needed to present, and come away with an astounding storyline.

Like you, this isn’t meant to judge the movie as bad! It isn’t bad! It’s downright wonderful in many aspects. I’m so happy I’ve seen it and can scream over it! Simply, if I were in charge of tweaking the script, these are the first alterations I’d make, and I think it would make THW even better.

#long post #httyd 3 spoilers #httyd 3 criticism #httyd3 #httyd 3 #How to Train Your Dragon 3 #THW #The Hidden World #analysis #my analysis #Hiccup #Toothless #Hiccup and Toothless #Light Fury #Grimmel #ask #ask me #awesome anonymous friend #faq

[themian]

What are the top reasons why men pull away?

Well as you commented, there are many broad reasons why a man will pull away. There is no doubt that it can be a very unsettling experience. Think about it, one minute he seems really into you, he may even have told you he loved you. Then literally overnight, he has pretty much disappeared, he has become distant all of a sudden.

Before I get into what I believe the top reasons why men pull away are, I will say this…

Some men are simply just jerks, some will run a mile when it comes time to settle down, and in some situations there is absolutely nothing you can do to get him back again. As hard as that is to deal with, just realize in the long run, you are better of without him!

However …. the good news is, that despite what media and Hollywood may tell you, most men aren’t jerks, and really do want to settle down with someone they can form a truly strong connection with.

To answer your question, in my opinion there are 3 broad reasons why a man will pull away all of a sudden. The good news is, that you can often change your behavior to help resolve the situation.

Being Too Emotional:

If it’s relatively early days in your relationship, then there is a risk that you can be too emotional too quickly with a man.

If you wore your emotions on your sleeve, or you became to needy or clingy with him, then you have very likely scared him off.

The good news is, if you back off a little, and don’t put too much pressure on him, he will most likely come closer again. Be cool for a while, and he will wonder whats going on, and come back.

2. Lacking A Connection:

Contrary to popular belief, men do actually want to meet someone, just like a women does. They like the idea of settling down with someone they can connect with (when they have matured a bit)

Men are actually looking for someone to have a strong emotional connection with. When they are young, they tend to go looking for it by looking for sex. But this matures over time, and they grow up. All they want is someone they can connect with on a strong emotional level. For a women who he feels like, will support him through thick and thin.

Just like you, most men have dreams, and they want to know they have the support at home, to have the guts to go out and chase those dreams.

3. Putting Too Much Pressure On Him:

This is common in couples who have been dating or in a relationship for a while. When you start putting pressure on a man to move the relationship to a new level, he will often pull away.

This may be a commitment for moving in together. Or to get married, or have children. Anything really. But if he feels like he is being pressured into something, he will pull away and become distant.

You need to make him feel like he is making a mutual decision with you, not feel like he is having an ultimatum put on him.

These are the 3 main reasons why a man will pull away. His specific behavior will be as a result of of one of these things. (Unless he is truly a jerk). The good news is this is completely fixable. For more information, on how to turn this situation around, check out our website Why Men Pull Away In Relationships

Men are strange creatures. With a few words or a simple sentence, you could have him pulling away for reasons you just cannot comprehend. If you have been in a relationship for a while and find that your man is pulling away from your fear not, it may be something you are completely unaware of. Here are three reasons that he may pull away from you.

Moving too quickly

This is a common reason he may get distant. If he has been single for most of his life except for the occasional relationship, then he is most likely a slow mover. If you have been dating for a short amount of time and by men's definition short equals in a year, then talking marriage and kids just might scare him off. If you are trying to move him along too quickly, he may pull away from you to protect himself. Ease up on the marriage and kids' questions so he can come back to you.

Past hurts

If your man comes from a home where divorce happened early on and happened messily, then he may suffer from those past hurts. Unbeknownst to many, we carry the hurts from childhood into our adult lives. Those hurts may manifest in funny ways. If he grew up in a home where the marriage ended badly, he just may be carrying those hurts with him and is afraid that getting married may bring back those hurts. Handle this with care as he may not be ready to deal with these kinds of issues just yet.

Insecurity

All men feel like they are built for something bigger and better. They feel like they have a big goal to accomplish ahead of them and until they get there, then they will be on that journey. If he has yet to achieve his life's dreams he may be feeling inadequate and just not good enough for you. If you make more money than him, have a better job, and drive a better car, it just may be his own insecurities that is causing him to pull away from you any time you mention marriage or anything long term. Starting an open conversation about his feelings is a start, but he may not be ready to open up fully just yet.

There are many other reasons why he may be pulling away from you, but from past experiences and talking to many male friends, these three are at the top of the list. If you have been moving too quickly for his taste then slow things down. If you know that he comes from a broken past, then you may need to ease up and move at his pace and be as encouraging as possible. If he is suffering from feeling insecure then you need to start showing him that you love him for him and not what he has. You can get him to be the man you know he can be and make a commitment.

If you are looking for ways to get him to stop pulling away or to get him to say "I Do" as quickly as womanly possible go to my profile.

Being clingy, crying a lot and giving yourself away too much, trying to change them, to name a few.

When girls start calling every hour, and the ratio exchange of messages between man vs women is “1:10”, you keep asking them where they are and why haven’t they called you back, what happened in their day, why aren’t they giving you importance, etc. it pushes a man away. Also, threatening to do something if they don’t do what you want them to do (like - if you don’t meet me, I will do ____) It could be anything - self-harm, blackmail, reveal info to friends, call up parents and tell them about the relationship, etc.

Also, wanting to change the man - you may think they are damaged and bad boys and that they need to change - however they won’t unless they want to. If they smoke, they will not stop if you keep nagging at them. You either accept it or stop nagging - they will stop talking to you but continue to smoke if it gets too much.

If you don’t like his friends, don’t tell him that. Don’t stop him from hanging out with his friends - give him the space to enjoy his guy time. Don’t isolate them from their friends thinking they should only hold you important and no one else.

Also, doubting them pushes them away - “who are you with, but you said this, are you cheating on me? Are you with a girl? If no, let me check your phone and prove your innocence” kind of shit

Let a man feel like a man and don’t do any of the things that are mentioned above. If he wants to be with you or meet you, he will. If he isn’t showing the same interest as you, calling him again and again, crying, threatening, blackmailing, won’t help in any way and it’ll only push them away further.

Remember, you don’t have to force someone to do anything. Let them be the way they are. If they show love and interest, they will be there for you. If you see they are distancing themselves from you, have a conversation of what’s happening and please let go if it isn’t working out.

Nagging, controlling, attempts to change the guy.

“I love you just the way to you are, now change”

Examples:

When we were dating, we always listened to the rock station while driving. Now we have a fight if I don't turn on NPR.

“You're strong enough, you don't need to go to the gym anymore”

You want me to get dressed like it's a “date” just to go to target with You?

I recall one relationship. I like to go to the show. I go to very specific types of movies. Ibwant my popcorn and cherry coke. I kike to sit dead center and at a distance wear the screen exactly fills ny field of vision. I like to show up early enough where I get the good seat and have time to get popcorn and use the toilet and not have to rush. But somebody wanted me to skip the popcorn and soda and show up late, get crappy aisle seats and miss the previews. So after the ditching the “hey, wanna go to the show?” routine, it became “hey, I'm going to the show and I'm leaving at 5:00 pm. If ya wanna go with, be in the car at 5:00 pm”. Caused a fight. So I switched gears again, lying about the start time, so we'd get there on time. Caused a fight. Then it just became a quick text that “I'm going to the show.”, which caused 40 texts during the show. Then it was “im gping to the show, gotta turn off my phone”, which caused a fight. Then I tried the “im seeing scavengers at 7:00 pm. Hope you meet me there.”. Eventually I just stopped saying anything but “I got stuff to do, call ya later.”

That's how it happens.

The premise, I presumed, was that if I really loved her, the time together would be more important than what I wanted.

And so forth.

Don't be that girl/woman.

I cannot answer for all guys, but the only times I have ever pulled away is when I have witnessed severely emotionally unstable behavior. Witnessing a woman start arguememts for no other reason than the fact that she created an issue that didn't exist, ran it all the way to a conclusion, and brought it into the real world to in turn, try to make it a real problem - is very troublesome… especially when emotion clouds their ability to see it.

In any case I have witnessed this behavior, I have left. Just to see more instability surface, which of course, proves my entire point to begin with. And, in these cases where more eradic behavior surfaces, (calling, emailing, stalking, texting, etc.) their emotions cloud their judgement so much, that they actually feel justified in what they are doing. Regardless of how crazy it really is.

It really is amazing how someone will be your best friend, support system, and lover, until they start shit that you call them out on. Then, they go on a slew of downright scary and sometimes illegal behaviors, thinking they have the right to do so.

Hell hath no fury like a person completely out of touch with reality and their own power to destroy themselves and others.

The sad part is, no lesson is ever learned. And they will soon move onto their next victim.

There is many reasons.

Things are moving to fast and he needs a breather from the intensity of his emotions. Common one for guys, women actually have better emotional comping ability then men. This is because women have a larger Deep Limbic System which is a part of the brain that’s responsible for emotional coping.

You are pressuring him by asking question about his feelings If he is experiencing an internal conflict, it can be good to not pressure him, this can make things worse

He’s falling out of love There is many reasons for this, what you can do about it to make sure you’re being the best person you can be. Make sure you give him time to get back in touch with his feelings for you before you start to question him on them. Here is a youtube video I made that may give you some more info:

Men pull way when the woman is way too draining and being with her is far worse than being alone, when she is never satiafied, annoying, drains his energy and acts as if he has no business in her life despite them both agreeing to be together then its time to go, and most men do just that .

If i have to chase a woman, to constantly prove my love or commitment then its time to dump her and i have done it in the past .

Women think men pull away because they are afraid of marriage, tell that to all those attractive, classy, nice and good women who have a man by their side, iam sure they would be more than willing to disagree with you .

You flake

Don't make plans and cancel or show up late. This is the fastest track to a guy losing interest.

Talk shit about your friends and other people.

It's okay to vent, but if it's constant, you look toxic and he'll wonder what you're saying about him behind his back.

Send mixed signals

If he's second guessing you all the time, you two are done. Every guy is afraid of being seen as a creep, desperate, or a possibile “R” word. Seriously, sit on the couch with him if you like him. It's a simple signal you're interested.

This is early day stuff, but it's usually when guys will cry uncle and decide you aren't worth his time.

Wow, in my opinion, there can be MANY things that push a man away. Men can be hard to understand and decipher for women, but mostly because women often do not pay attention to what a man says. Instead of hearing what the guy said, we tend to obsess later with our friends (“…What do you think he really meant by that?”)

So, here is a brief list of what I think pushes a man away. I’m not trying to be unfeeling or insensitive, believe me, I’ve experienced my share of heartache with men and relationships.

You have nothing going on in your life - but him. This is way too much pressure to put on anyone.

You are nagging and constantly “making him wrong”. No one wants to hang around for this type of treatment.

You have too much drama in your life. (Family drama, work/school drama, friend drama, Facebook drama…you get the picture…(At some point, it’s just not a coincidence anymore and you have to gain some control over your situation and actions).

You try to keep him away from seeing his friends, or doing what he wants to do when you aren’t together. (He is his own person, you don’t own him. Think about if the shoe was on the other foot!)

You are constantly texting him and checking up on him.

You act insecure and you don’t trust him. (If you truly have reasons to not trust him, then find someone you CAN trust!)

You are available every minute of the day and night. He never has a chance to “miss you”. This one relates back to #1. I’m sure there are more, but hope this list helps. Remember, if you are having trouble with keeping a man’s attention - he might not be the right man. There are tons of great guys out there. Don’t settle for someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated.

[pleasereadfully-blog]

WARNING: LAWRENCE M. REINHARDT/USER “OSPRIET”

   further proof the person and accounts referenced are him:

(since writing this, lawrence has since deleted his blog. either he then recreated it with the same url or someone else got to it in the interim, just know that the current holder of the url “ospriet” may not be lawrence himself. there are as many screenshots of the posts referenced as possible.)

to match the pictures above with the ORIGINAL account referenced:

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/tagged/it-me     [click for image]

warning for not safe for work content with multiple topics. adults having sexual contact w/ minors, topics including incest, beastiality, rape, torture porn, abuse and other uncomfortable topics.

what’s of most concern is this man’s tendency to pursue teenage partners despite being well into his 20s and nearing his 30s. this perhaps wouldn’t be so concerning if he didn’t start his pursuits when these vulnerable (mostly trans boys, either pre-transition or as they transition it seems) teenagers who either aren’t 18 yet or are just recently 18. while not illegal, there is something very disturbing about a 28 year old man who repeatedly targets teenagers. he is not engaging in these relationships without knowing the ages or age gaps, he has admitted he knows just how old his partners are when he first starts seeking them out. these are not false allegations. there have been lengthy, emotionally devastating conversations with his past partners. he appears to use to fandom, online communities and groups, friendship, and roleplay to lure (there are other instances of similar posts throughout his blog) these teenagers in and then fosters a friendship with them that then he turns into a (sexual) relationship. there are several other links and screenshots throughout this post where he admits he enjoys age gaps as well.

(for those who do not know what some of these terms mean: roleplay is where two or more person’s write from the view point of certain characters from different mediums. it can vary from safe for work content or sexually explicit content.

“fandom” refers to collective fans of different medium, shows, games, books etc.)

it seems the fandoms in particular are snk, homestuck, the mcelroys brother’s content and dragon age. the first two seem as though he’s not into them anymore, but they’re worth noting. also vulture culture, norse mythology, werewolves and witchcraft but those two aren’t fandom just communities more or less.

he also appears to use okcupid, tinder and other date applications and websites to find people who meet his marks so be aware if you use such things or know people who do.

any adult man who has repeatedly displayed this behavior around teenagers should not be tolerated or excused for these actions. i would have liked to not put words in the reader’s mouth but repeated offenses like this have only one word: predatory. he should not be fostering friendships with teenagers, particularly ones who are minors. he should not be allowing minors to follow his blog. he should not be talking with them in private through skype or text or email or any other venue. he has reblogged provocative illustrated art of minors before which is disturbing given his inclinations. yes to be just, there are only two instances but they are there. there are images below which contain beastiality and as confirmed by others, he is sexually interested in scenarios involving animals beyond fiction and should not be around those either to be frank. even if you would like to wish that purely fictional interests don’t necessarily translate into real life pursuits, he has already demonstrated he’s willing to sexually and coercively pursue minors. the at the time 17 year old he dated still bears deep and lasting psychological scars from their “relationship” with him.

be aware that much of this is just the things we know of now that were made public through his blog.

the following information has been either found on his blog or generously supplied by individuals seeking to do right by the community.

his name is lawrence m. reinhardt [image], his nickname is wren, he’s currently 28 years old [image], lives in milford connecticut [image], works at jones family farm [image] and utilizes this tattoo parlor [image]. previously he was employed at uniqlo. [image]

this is his etsy shop [image] , his facebook account [link] his skype account [image] as well.

this an avatar he frequently uses. formally made by a previous girlfriend. [image]

his home address was left out of this write up as it wouldn’t be fair to involve his family since he still lives at home with them.

do not agree with some of the previous methods used to address these matters nor do i enjoy sharing the information above but i think it is important given his history that people know just who he is and where he can be found.

i sincerely hope that the information below gives anyone pause before they continue interacting with and supporting lawrence. these are not matters that could or should be waved away or excused with “but his current boyfriend is 18/over 18.” this isn’t a one off event or cause of concern and trying to excuse his behavior makes the excuser just as much to blame for his actions.

his lines clearly are crossed between reality and fiction and his fictional pursuits clearly have already endangered vulnerable youth and left unchecked, he stands to harm future youth as well.

please keep in mind there is much that has not been shared at the request of those he’s interacted with in the past. please keep reading for specific documentations of the above matters.

there is a good thing to read on the matter of age gaps themselves located here for those willing.

as well as this post as well as other posts on the blog pertaining to age gaps.

===

he says he’s only interest in a 5 year or so difference but repeatedly targets teenagers out of his age range to pursue.

[click for image]

all of his relationships save for one that’s been found have been 8 or more years with largest gap being 9 years. this is a dangerous pattern.

from the oldest relationship located to the most recent:

in 2013, dated http://barackohana.tumblr.com/unknown age unknown and this is the only mention of them. mentioned only to establish the timeline. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/41822601413/barackohana-im-gonna-meet-my-bf-face-to-face-on      [click for link to image]

==

then dated http://dysfunctionaldraught.tumblr.com for several months. currently 22, so they were 17/18 at the start of their relationship and interactions. [click for image] [click for image]

====

[NAME REDACTED IN THESE POSTS this individual was a minor for this ‘friendship’ into ‘relationship’ and has been contacted about this relationship. talking about lawrence and this ‘relationship’ was very uncomfortable for them and they prefer to keep as much distance as possible and we’ve done our best to honor that request.] keep in mind, ospriet/lawrence was 25 for this relationship, he acknowledges his age here: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84571471106/sometimes-i-forget-im-in-my-mid-twenties-l-m-f-a    [click for link to image]

”i was 17 when i met him and he was 25 (i’m 21 now) and [redacted …]” [click for link if image won’t show]

was 17 when they started talking. (old links & their old account berik http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/93897778121/beriks-im-twelve-look-at-this-little-shit      [click for link to image]

being 17 at the start, they were in highschool. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88865162886/beriks-time-to-graduate-nerds-congratulations         [click for link to image] ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85847849581/       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/85180268721/92936-pm-chief-i-a-cute-southern       [click for link to image]

sexual content: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/91473197761/stayed-up-waaay-too-late-foolin-around-with-the http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87159731326/this-just-in-my-boyfriend-has-the-cutest-undies       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/88177729331/more-i-think-thats-partly-why-i-freakin           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/86710997056/you-know-what-sucks-more-going-almost-an           [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87947493101/more-you-know-what-sucks-going-through-a                [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101713543141/more-i-say-i-dont-chase-but-i-do-i-did when they had broken up, references ‘chasing’ people and the fact that this person was a child at the time something he himself points out. [click for link to image]

other bits of conversation with this person: [chat part 1.]  [chat part 2.] the parts that are redacted are for this person’s comfort, they felt those parts were too identifying. [chat part 3.] contains more (see below under cl2y) about his habit of telling stories about all of his exes, none of which are kind and all paint him in a better light. it’s one of the classic moves of an abuser. the red edits are from them themself, the edits do not change the context and also fix some grammatical errors.

of note, after this person broke things off with lawrence, he went on to reblog this post [link to image] despite asking for and engaging in sexual content with a known minor willingly.

====

http://coyoteas.tumblr.com/     [click for link to image] - was 18/19 when they started dating. was 18 when they first started talking. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/archive/2014/9 http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101642762146/coyoteas-replied-to-your-postthat-feel-when-you           [click for link to image]     rp might be one of the ways he lures people in. [definitely uses sex appeal - click for screenshot] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/103246409901/if-you-cant-appreciate-hella-cute-boys-with         [click for link to image] chat with coyoteas. [click for link to image] this was all he was willing to share in regards to lawrence’s behavior.

====

http://kitchnboy.tumblr.com/ / localchef.tumblr.com (previous url) / http://unchefly.tumblr.com (previous url) was 18 when they started dating, was 18 when they started talking based on timing.       [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/120590264641/also-im-not-single-anymore          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/129047704191/pretty-sure-my-boyfriend-fell-asleep-cuddling-an           [click for link to image]  references his boyfriend’s underage drinking. 

===

he was briefly seeing a few people between the person below and kitchnboy but there is not enough information his blog to find out who they were and ask them if they’d be willing to speak about their experiences with him or their ages for that matter… see the chat logs below generously given for this from cl2y.

====

name redacted upon request. this partner was very uncomfortable talking about him so we’ve kept it to just what was said on his blog and the fact that they are in fact in their 20s, closer to his age than his previous partners which, if we can speculate might be why he lost interest relatively quickly. [click for link to image] [click for link to image] [click for link to image]

=====

as for lawrence’s most recent ex, they’ve asked to also be redacted from this file. - is currently 19, supposedly they’ve been talking since he was at least 18 ish while lawrence was dating another partner. he was described as one former partner as a ‘serial monogamist’ and it does appear that he rapidly lines up and cycles through partners. [click for an old image]   link redacted for as much privacy as possible    [click for link to image] age proof http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160663250106/the-gays       [click for link to image] they have definitely met irl. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160694921851/you-know-youre-screwed-when-your-bed-still-smells        [click for link to image]  proof of sexual contact. where ospriet and others go on to defend his choices in dating teenagers: ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161463971591/just-so-were-clear-i-have-a-boyfriend-my          [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/161480963336/now-that-im-home-for-the-evening-i-will-explain         [click for link to image]

======

other inappropriate age wise ‘friendships’ that were found: http://puppy-eater.tumblr.com/ http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/97018639641/puppy-eater-replied-to-your-post-mor-i-used-to   had been speaking to lawrence before this point, so was in highschool. between 17-18. http://native-trickster.tumblr.com/        [click for image]    was 17 when they first began interacting on tumblr, is now 18.

=====

general others:

http://tricksterkind.tumblr.com/about - age unknown but they might have been almost dating at one point.

user cl2y was exceptionally generous and brave to not only share the following logs but to allow us to keep their name attached to all this. the following are both logs from skype with him as well as a tumblr chat they had with someone else concerning what he said. cl2y and lawrence had been talking in the summer of 2016, when these screenshots had come from.

[tumblr log 1.] [skype log part 1.] his age. [skype log part 2.] this seems to be one of the people he was seeing after kitchnboy. [skype log part 3.] on his other exes. [skype log part 4.] not really proof of anything, but can’t distinguish between reality and fiction and lets that fiction influence his reality. the folowing contain noncon or torture porn references in rp scenarios that cl2y was not comfortable with but he couldn’t take a hint. [skype log part 5.] [skype log part 6.] [skype log part 7.] [skype log part 8.]

of note as well, he made this post 3 years back looking down upon scenarios he himself asked for. [click for link] also note the fact he is unconcerned with minors engaging in sexual scenarios. in the following link from 3 years ago, he berates fictional portrayal of noncon including using it to cope despite soliciting such content against the wishes of one of his then roleplay partners (cl2y). [click for image]

this was also around the time he was “dating” and engaging a minor in sexual scenarios so he is certainly not really concerned with the legality of the issues he’s talking about.

it’s believed he uses roleplay to find new targets. [click for image]

========

underage art reblogged: http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/87417886561/irisviel-yukinashin-%E6%B4%97%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E6%B4%97%E7%90%83%E7%90%83 levi and eren (13-16 years old) from snk   [click for link to image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90305481776/erueres-%E3%83%89%E3%83%AA%E3%83%BC eren (13-16 years old) and erwin from snk     [click for link to image] [click for image] - more incestual content, from homestuck this time. the characters pictured are related as well as 13-16 years old.

========

nsfw content warning http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/151957572816/inkeyeliner-had-a-freaking-blast-at         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/160297190971/sometimessmuthappens-oh-gosh-%CF%89-%E3%82%9E-i         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155717961546/sometimessmuthappens-uhhhhhh-ooops-not-sure-if          [click for image] borderline beastiality. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114134431481/i-long-to-talk-with-some-old-lovers-ghost-who if not actual.     [click for image]

======

borderline fetishistic interest in other cultures, particularly japanese (reblogs a ton of japanese art/uses japanese phrasing/kanji/acquired a job at a japanese clothing store) or other asian cultures. please look through his archives, there are too many posts to include. [click for link] also says things like http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/92592080111/oh-my-god-i-dont-have-yellow-fever-i-swear-ive    not this is involving the 17 year old he was dating.    [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/84559811006/when-i-turn-30something-i-hope-i-look-half-as-good             [click for image] also roleplayed real people (http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/90308357146/blauh-blah-more-when-i-came-home-from-the         [click for image] also native american cultures. has plenty of reblogs in history.

==

other posts of interest http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/70938323641/sigh-pretty-girls-in-lolita-dresses-and-frills             [click for image]   http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/54425446342/am-i-the-only-dude-who-ships-roxy-and-dirk-le into incest.        [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/159349377356/cats-paw-talisman-for-safe-travels has a real cats paw.. who knows from where.     [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/155183650071/shit might be his car.   [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/114184533256/what-sort-of-animal-could-be-my-spirit-animal involved in ‘spirit animals’ even though that is not his place as a non-native american.         [click for image] http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/101732442131/i-need-something-cute-to-bed-stat lends itself to the whole theory he targets and dates people for relative easy access for sexual content/sex. teenagers are slightly easier marks than people his own age.     [click for image]

====

these posts are simply ironic given his history with minors and teenagers. http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/154185782796/being-an-adult-is-hardmore-being-an-adult           [click for image]

http://ospriet.tumblr.com/post/139206250666/ngl-im-a-little-bummed-i-wontcant-attend         [click for image]

====

i’m well aware there are many who will feel strongly about how this is being handled but this isn’t gossiping or rumor-milling. there’s ample evidence here that points to his attentions to minors/teenagers. and no, no one involved in the marking of this post (apart from the exes or ex-roleplay partners who responded) was personally affected. one of us got a message about this man and decided to look into it because you can’t go and believe general “slanderous” statements about people, especially from completely anonymous parties. imagine the shock  when it was discovered that the message received wasn’t based in lies and that it wasn’t a “typical tumblr callout” post.

#vulture culture #witchcraft #dragon age #werewolf #norse paganism #norse mythology #homestuck #mcelroys #mbmbam #da2 #cryptids #asatru #freyr #nature #dai #wolf #taxidermy #dave strider #taz

[shiny-craboo-blog]

@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

#babbbles #just like #fuck that guy? #legit thinkin about ruinin his entire life. telling future employers hes racist and stuff.

[junkhaul-blog]

safari app tabs 2

Favorites

Marriage and Family Therapy PsyD | Alliant Un...

YouTube - Health & Vitality Meditations, Meditations by Rasa

Ray Charles – A Song For You Lyrics | Genius L...

sunday morning lyrics - Google Search

Emotional Pain Chart

Climate Lab | University of California

ucla climate psychology - Google Search

Climate Psychology Alliance - CPA North Ame...

Climate Change Psychology: Five Insights - Ya...

Understanding the psychological barriers to c...

The Climate Psychologist

Mika 7 | 3D Models and 3D Software by Daz 3D

Have an Aggressive Puppy That Won’t Stop Bi...

how to feel more secure - Google Search

puppy training tips - Google Search

The Autistic Children Who Are Labeled As Sex...

Donny Hathaway – A Song for You Lyrics | Gen...

A Song for You - Wikipedia

A Detoxifying Kundalini Yoga Sequence for Ra...

Lesson 9 - Flexibility of the Spine

YouTube - Abraham Hicks - Process - Practice the vibration of abundance let it in, Z. Zeahorse

10 Abundance-Manifesting Secrets To Practic...

YouTube - Get Them To Chase You - Abraham Hicks, Abraham Hicks

YouTube - Techniques to raise the vibration, 649904

Kundalini Yoga: 13 Poses to Help You Break Ba...

The 10 Best Exercises for Weight Loss Torch S...

10 Butt Exercises You Can Do On A Mat | SELF

A Kundalini Yoga Exercise to Release Negativit...

biyfriend forsnt want sex - Google Search

Is Your Partner Really ‘Emotionally Unavailabl...

Ariana Grande – Why Try Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

YouTube - Lose Weight while you SLEEP ~ Listen Every Night, Dauchsy

Esta Sample Pack - Samples & Loops - Splice...

YouTube - orchid booster /forced, orchid subs

YouTube - Abraham Hicks 2018 // How To Control The Direction Of Your Thoughts? [NEW], Thought Revolution

Moving up, the smart way

The Psychology of Men | Psychology Today

how.to make asmr - Google Search

boyfriend tunes me out - Google Search

osyd ni masters required - Google Search

MA in Psychology | Master of Arts in Psycholo...

Clinical Psychology Doctorate Admissions Re...

Spotify for Artists

How to get glossy lips - Daz 3D Forums

Cannot Open Page

My Visit to the Abandoned Radioactive City of...

Chernobyl, site of nuclear disaster, now a tour...

tagaytay volcano - Google Search

Robohorse | Flying Magazine

Carl Rogers - Wikipedia

PhD in Clinical Psychology - Los Angeles | CS...

Psychology PhD Programs in California

ZBrush 2018 Free Download - Is there a Free...

ballistic missile - Google Search

Best Doctorate in Psychology Programs | Top...

DAZ 3D | 3D Models and 3D Software by Daz...

stage presence tips - Google Search

What It’s Like Being a Psychologist - ValuePen...

CB Gwendolin for Genesis 8 Female | 3D Mod...

YouTube - “Straws Will Save Your Life” - Tom Burke

facebook.com

YouTube - 10 Kids Who Were Raised By Wild Animals - TheRichest

Video Templates to fit your needs | Renderfor...

hownto do quick visuals for anmusoc show -...

Flat White Vs. Latte: 7 Point Head to head co...

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: JOHN LENNON AND YO...

YouTube - Wet Body Geometry Shells: Changing Diffuse in the Shell - SimonWM2000

HDRI Optimized Skin & Hair Shaders | 3D Mod...

How do you make the Face and Lips Glossy in...

Rendering high gloss/stylised skin in 3delight...

glossy skin daz3d shell - Google Search

Zeddicuss | 3D Models and 3D Software by Da...

Water Shader Tutorial for Daz Studio Iray

hi does anyone know how to get the skin like t...

YouTube - Build Mental & Emotional Strength (Total Self Power) Guided Sleep Meditation + Affirmations - Meditations by Rasa

My Wishlist - 3D Models and 3D Software by...

What Color Lipstick Makes Teeth Look Whiter...

8 Ways to Pull Off Red Lips Once And For All

Druidry (modern) - Wikipedia

Sprite (folklore) - Wikipedia

miarossi.com

ZBrush 2018 Features

sparkle for mika 7 - Google Search

Ada for Genesis 8 Female | 3D Models and 3D...

Disembodied Voice Dreams – Jack Preston Ki...

Heroin dreams meaning - Interpretation and...

i had a dream my friend was using heroin - Go...

dream friend heroin - Google Search

YouTube - Rain Hypnosis For Attracting Wealth (Law of Attraction, Create & Manifest Abundance) - Michael Sealey

pilates instructor - Google Search

pilates - Google Search

Pilates For Anxiety and Stress Relief - The Bal...

Slideshow: ADHD in Women and Girls

pilates instructor training - Google Search

sex educator - Google Search

Free Career Aptitude and Career Assessment...

Careers

What If You Are Not Passionate About Anythin...

ADHD Test for Women and Girls: Understand...

YouTube - Rain Hypnosis For Attracting Wealth (Law of Attraction, Create & Manifest Abundance) - Michael Sealey

Portrait: Copper by pjfleury on DeviantArt

YouTube - Meet Your Spirit Guide in a Lucid Dream Meditation for Beginners (Hypnosis) - Unlock Your Life

earwax spoon - Google Search

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My MBA

Preparing for A Pilates Instructor Certification...

is pilates instructor a good job - Google Search

Pilates Training Programs | Education | Balanc...

pilates instructor training - Google Search

Are you on the right path? 

Imposter syndrome - Wikipedia

stephanie 4 genesis - Google Search

Aiko 4 3D Female Model Pro Bundle | 3D Mod...

Search results for ‘cute’ | 3D Models and 3D S...

Become a Dog Walker on Wag! 

DAZ 3D | 3D Models and 3D Software by Daz...

Z Hot and Sweaty - Poses and Partials for Gen...

fiction cyborg romance - Google Search

YouTube - How to Change Your Home Screen Icon Shapes in iOS 7 - TheUnlockr

Crazy Text Maker - $ÜPER $yMBOLS

Warrior Makeups for Genesis 3 Male(s) | 3D M...

YouTube - How to create dramatic lights in DAZ Studio (Iray) - The WP Guru

YouTube - Iray 101: Performance Settings in DAZ Studio - The WP Guru

YouTube - How To Render Faster in Iray - Daz 3D

How to speed up rendering times (or improve...

Iray Rendering on a Mac - Do I Need a PC? - D...

iRay in OSX

Building the Best PC for 3D Rendering and Ani...

Build New PC for Rendering Iray?? - Daz 3D F...

cheap pc setup for high quality renders in daz...

NVIDIA DRIVERS Quadro & GeForce Mac OS X...

You made your Mac GPU render for Iray. What...

Book Covers - Daz 3D Forums

What is HDRI and how do I use it? - Daz 3D Fo...

Reality 4.3 - DAZ Studio Edition | 3D Models a...

Daz Studio Iray Tutorial for Beginners

Pix Janella for Mika 8 | 3D Models and 3D Soft...

YouTube - Young Thug - Barter...This video has been removed by the user

Wag! Reviews | Glassdoor

H.E.R. – Focus Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

EJ Juncal Deluxe Pack for Genesis 8 Female:...

calming signals | TheCatSite

YouTube - Genesis 8 Review!!! DAZ Studio Beginners Tutorial - Victoria 8 Figure - Power Pose - Shannon Maer

YouTube - DAZ Studio Clothing Tips & Tricks Tutorial - Shannon Maer

YouTube - Lifelike DAZ Studio Posing Tutorial - 3D Software - Shannon Maer - DAZ Stud - Shannon Maer

FW Marieke HD for Charlotte 8 | 3D Models an...

Ioana for Charlotte 8 | 3D Models and 3D Soft...

Charlotee 8 | 3D Models and 3D Software by D...

YouTube - My Greatest Weakness is Curiosity | Sophia the Robot at Brain Bar - Brain Bar

3D Figures and Assets | RenderHub

YouTube - The Secret Ingredient to Photorealism - Blender Guru

Ultimate Make-Up for Genesis 8 Females(s) | 3...

dForce Casual Springtime for Genesis 8 Femal...

how to build a coaching business as a life coa...

How to Build a Business to Last 100 Years

how to get certified in pilates reformer - Goog...

how much does a life.coach make a year - Goo...

how much does a psychologist make - Google...

how.much does a pilates instructor make a ye...

how much does a cgi artist make - Google Sear...

how.much can a digital artist make - Google S...

Best Psychology Graduate Programs & School...

German wine - Wikipedia

Cabernet Franc - Google Search

cortado gibraltar macchiato - Google Search

brother nathanael - Google Search

Boston Dynamics is changing your idea of wh...

YouTube - Inside the Japanese Hotel Staffed by Robots - Motherboard

Why CGI Humans Are Creepy, and What Scien...

Lifelike ‘Sophia’ Robot Granted Citizenship to...

Apocryphon of John - Wikipedia

i am the sign of the letter and the designation...

Microsoft Releases AI Twitter Bot That Immed...

YouTube - guided meditation lucid dreaming - An astral projection experience - Meditation Vacation

Blender (software) - Wikipedia

blender.org - Home of the Blender project - Fr...

YouTube - This the most convincing CGI human I have ever seen - kdooxerelt2

YouTube - How to make Diamonds in Blender 2.73! ( easy ) - Addicted to CG

YouTube - How to make a sofa in blender 2.72! ( Room Series ) Part 1 - Addicted to CG

YouTube - How to make Curly Hair in Blender! Fast and Easy! - Addicted to CG

Addicted to CG - YouTube

YouTube - Boman - Blender Sculpt & Vertex Paint Timelapse - Yusuf Umar

YouTube - Robots : Top 10 Most Amazing Advanced Robots That Will Change Your World - enrigue8

says cgi - Google Search

YouTube - digital painting / girl in the cafe [ speedpaint ] - Ameur Makhloufi

Modeling Realistic Characters with Blender -...

Create Epic “Man Of Steel” Fan Art in Photosh...

CGI: An Introduction

riri lyrics young thug - Google Search

YouTube - How to create a 3D CGI character - an overview | The Making of “My Time Here” - evokelabs

how can i learn to make.a.cgi character digital...

The Weeknd - Wikipedia

is ketamine addictive - Google Search

Opioid Crisis Fast Facts - CNN

YouTube - Lucid Dreaming Sleep Cycle with Rain, Binaural Beats and Isochronic tones - 2 Hour - Sleep Easy Relax - Peacef...

insecure attachment - Google Search

YouTube - Manifest Any Desire | Guided Meditation - Meditations by Rasa

Dreams About Arguing With Boyfriend – Mean...

Music Theory: 432 Hz - Separating Fact From...

goldendoodle - Google Search

The Good Place - Wikipedia

are sunflowers safe for cats - Google Search

Call Me Kevin - YouTube

YouTube - Everyday Normal Guy - JonLajoie < Drinking Out of Cups (Original) - MadUploader2

Easy Cleaning and Home Organizing Tips | Re...

Selena - Wikipedia

Acno’s Energizer –– StrategyWiki, the video g...

How One Woman Changed The Way People Di...{e in Mongolia}

YouTube - Recipe Ghiradelli® Individual Chocolate Lava Cakes - Kina Shuford

how to speed up macbook pro - Google Search

YouTube - Sims 4 with Jim Pickens - Call Me Kevin

[lovesaadiqa]

Positive Intelligence

Picked up a book.. Montana was reading at work yesterday + I really mean reading, like ignoring her tables kind of reading.  I was inspired, I haven't read a book all year, its September!!!  Social media has been a large source of stagnation for me and 3 hours of scrolling this morning made me curse myself for not doing what I know I should .. paying more attention to my life than other’s.  Out of guilt, I decided to read and really just picked the book on the top of the stack lol.

Positive Intelligence By: Shirzad Chamine

Chapter One:

Initially bored out my wits with the intro and most of the first chapter, I forced myself to keep going.  Decided to journal (that’s what Tumblr is for me versus a blogging community) my interpretation of each chapter.  As I neared the end of chapter one, im intrigued by the comparison of IQ (cognitive intelligence), EQ (emotional intelligence) and PQ (positive intelligence).  I recognized IQ from school and equating it with how dumb a person is lol.  I've heard of EQ but only in reference to the way people behave when they are hurt.  To be completely honest I feel I should be reading a book on EQ but here we are PQ.  PQ, as described by Shirzad, is a measurement of your mind working both for you and against you.  My interest peaked!! I know for sure for sure my PQ is low because I am a very worrisome person who believes “all good things come to an end” versus thinking “bad times don’t last always.  At the end of the chapter there is an inquiry to help me correlate what the book is saying and how it applies to my own life.  

Chapter One inquiry:  if you could significantly improve one important thing, personally or professionally, as a result of reading this book, what would it be?  Keep that goal in mind as you read this book.  ||  Personally I believe I am a quitter by way of procrastination.  I personally and professionally need to learn how to follow through.  I convince myself over a period of time that “this won't work for me" or “I'll never be _____ or as good as ________” and completely just stop.  I want my self talk to be encouraging and motivating.  I let any little butmp in the road cause me to pull over.. toxic trait!  This has to change!

Chapter two:

Good luck prying this book from my hands.  Needless to say, I am happy I continued reading.  This chapter helps me to understand how we have two ways of thinking, sabotage + sage.  Sabotage we develop as children to prevent physical and emotional harm which we should rid by adulthood.. Sage the power, positive, deeper, wiser you.  The chapter identifies 10 sabotagers to help you understand which one(s) control you.  This chapter goes on to tell you how to change your mind from sabotage to sage and provides an example of a man and his team who all learned to do this together to increase the success of a billion dollar company.  The methods seem wacky but you have to be a fool to believe I won't try.  Won’t go into much depth (buy the book) but Shirzad goes on to say the easiest way to change your mind is to label each thought;  useful, neutral or harmful and the to call out the sabotager.  For example:  Thought “your are not good enough” I respond by thinking or saying (I'll be saying it out loud personally) “there goes the Judge telling me im not good enough”.  The Judge is one of the 10 sabotagers.  This is vital for me because so much of how I think is a shit ton of underlying factors I don't know exist.  Reading is fundamental because I would have never recognized the voice of the Judge as being harmful.  I always believed that telling myself im not good enough would force to me to work harder but the truth is, I coerced myself, over the years to believe im mediocre, average at best!  This is ground breaking for me + I want to personally challenge myself to do this all day today before moving on the next chapter.  Labeling my thoughts is genius, this is so cohesive with my personal goal of being more mindful.

Chapter two inquiry:  what do you find energizing, hopeful or exciting about Positive Intelligence?  What are you skeptical about?  How would you know if you skepticism were generated by a saboteur trying to stay in power?  ||  I know how vital changing your mind is to growth, maturity and overall personal development.  I’ve experienced this in a very mild manner with regards to perspective and was blown away.  It’s really a gift from God + an outer body experience to see your old self succumb to a new you by way of thinking differently + being present in the mind the surrender to the process.  So in short I am excited, hopeful and energized that I don't have to wing it.. this book provides the formula, the methods and evokes the mental awareness for me to experience my mind changing and completely being one with the me I can't see.. all that inner shit!  Im skeptical about my consistency cause it’s always been an issue for me but even writing this allows me to see the saboteur  named Restless (the sabotager who is always lookin for new excitement, losing focus + providing endless distraction)  Ha!  I get it, I get it!!!!  I called her out!!! 

Chapter three:

This chapter, unadulterated perspective.  Allow me to document the four major part of this book that hit home for me.  1. There is a subtitled portion in chapter three labeled The Problem With Saboteurs.  In order to survive we needed umbilical cords at birth, milk as babies, itty bitty teeth until our mouths grow develop the permanent ones, even casts for broken bones.  However, as we matured, all of these grew obsolete and we rid ourselves of them naturally.  Can you image if we didn't, lmaoooo.  Its funny to picture it in my head but our minds develop in the same way EXCEPT, they do not naturally rid themselves as we age!!!  Mentally and emotionally, a shit ton of us don't realize we’re  still attached to the umbilical cord, drinking baby milk, using toddler teeth and have never taken the cast off of healed injuries... in our late 30′s and 40′s!!!!!  Bruh, this made me feel pitiful because im not exempt!  The thinking patterns and emotional behaviors necessary for me to survive my childhood are the same ridiculous techniques I use in my adulthood.  The saying “..but when I became a man, I put all those childish things away.” pops smooth into my head!!! 2. The book compares people to hatched sea turtles.  The very first thing they do is make there way to the ocean floor for safety, physical survival.  We do this as kids as also, but we do it both physically and MENTALLY!  Mind blown comprehending this.  3.  The book describes our saboteurs as a snowman to say they melt when exposed to light.  This insinuates that all it takes to chance your negative thoughts is awareness.  All I have to do is recognize the thought and label is using one of the 10 saboteurs described in the book.  Im so excited for this!!!  

Chapter three inquiry:  a saboteur served a purpose - to protect you physically or helped you survive emotionally.  How did you Judge and your top accomplice saboteur help you in your youth?  ||  I've used my judge to shield myself from an abusive parent for emotional survival.  I won't go too much into the details (I'll leave it for another time).  Promise to update this after some deep thinking.  I’ve blacked out much of my trauma and early life as to cope better and progress forward.  I knew at some point in my life I would have to dig up my past but I definitely believed it would have been with a shrink versus a book.  I’ll see what I can do.  I am journaling this to help someone else and myself, but as of right now.. im not ready to relive most of what I know I have to share. 

Chapter four:

Decided to walk and read this chapter but due the heat index, said walk took place on the treadmill in the basement of my building.  Thank goodness it was empty because this chapter made me cry, twice.  Touching a bit on self judgement, judging others and judging circumstances.  The writer exposes a part of me I have never truly acknowledged.  I don’t always love myself unless there is a reason attached to it such as accomplishment, awesome behavior, etc.  It was difficult to read that I am to love myself just for being!  Just because I am me; undefined by flaws or accomplishment, good behavior or social rank.  Unconditional love is the only love there is, love without conditions for being exactly who I am.  My brain is warped but im hopeful it will bring about an abundance of change to the way I treat myself when undergoing difficulty.  I also decided a name for my Judge, she’s The Liar.  My Liar is stong and brutal and means me no good.  My liar is NOT me.  There is a portion of this chapter that is vital to my life, well two!!!  The first is so powerful, I am tearing up just thinking about it.. “You will be happen when...”  My Liar is the biggest scammer ever.  I AM HAPPY NOW!  Damn it if my Liar doesn’t tell me, “you can be happy when your business is successful, when you move into a penthouse, when you’re married...” Shirzad writes that my Liar will always renegoitate my when as I achieve it.  I will be happy when I save $10k and as soon as I have $9,999 dollars all of a sudden, I will be happen when I purchase a home.  Man if this didn't strike a cord.  I will be chasing happiness my entire life living in misery with a life someone else is when’ing for!  Who cut the onion bro? The second very vital part of the chapter is when the writer analyzes the difference between judging and discernment.  This will need to be revisited as I attempt to weaken my saboteurs because it’s a thin line between judging and discerning.

Chapter four inquiry:  what would change, at work or in your personal life, if your Judge’s voice were significantly weakened?  ||  OPTIMISM for sure!!!! I would be less apprehensive about tough decisions. I’d be more eager to try new things and hopeful for every circumstance I have to undergo.  I shelter myself from many things because I am so afraid to fail or have an unfavorable outcome.  I be ducking “feelings” and can vividly hear myself telling myself in previous situations that “I don't want to feel anything”, “I don't feel like it”.  That is for the dead and I realized I am the dead walking!  Life is to be felt I just need to get to a place where fear isn’t holding me hostage and realize I can survive whatever I feel.  Writing this provoked a question I posed to myself, why don’t you want to feel? I hold onto the shit im supposed to let go and the emotional warfare makes it so difficult to learn what the feeling is there to teach me.  I am super dramatic and I can see how the Victim is actively assisting my Liar.  I’d be able to keep a job, lol.. yeah issa a problem.  On a personal level, I believe I'd be more aware of what the universe is trying to teach and can significantly alter the energy I put out.  God has me in awe, this book wasn’t random.  The timing was’t random.  I am ready and the unconditional love God has for me, has once again reminded me that I am entitled to love, just because I am me.  Chills bro.

Chapter five:

This chapter compares the Saboteur to the Sage.  It goes on to discuss example of when both he and others where faced with what seemed to be extreme tragedy or life altering situations with sage.  In my opinion is summarizes how to constantly look on the bright side.  An part of this stated that when something unfavorable happens, we tend to believe the outcome “good or bad” and reassures which every you believe in your mind will ultimately solidify the situation according to your beliefs about it.  This sent me into deep thought.. I reflected back to when a “bad” situation turned out for my greater good.  This has happened countless time but the most prevalent was my living situation in the previous two years.  I went from paying nothing and getting kicked out without notice, to an invite as a roomie for $200 but was tortured in that situation.  I moved into a unit (work, live, stay) for $500 but now shower only bird baths for 3 months to now renting a condo for $1000.  I had to initially but put out on my ass for this ball to get rolling.  I would have never voluntarily moved from paying no rent to $1000.  I’d built up so much resentment towards the homeowner and carried it all the way to this chapter and because learning about the sage, which works for my greater good, I can let it go.  I had not realized and still don’t, how much unnecessary baggage I carry that affects only me.  You better trust and believe the day I moved out, angry and hateful, that the homeowner went to work and carried on with his life, not giving a single fuck about how I felt.  This book is doing a great work in me, turning my thoughts and beliefs in to learning opportunities.  Now be fully aware of how both the saboteurs and my sage works, I plan to revisit all my buried bullshit to evaluate how what I thought to be “bad” turned out for my good.  A positive poised mind.  Healthy thought processes.  Meditation.  Acceptance.  Change.  My liar keeps telling me, this process (saboteur to sage) will take a long time to do.. it’s imperative I remind myself to stay committed to implenting what im learning and do the work.  My entire life I have boxed the outcomes of situations either bad or good depending of the favorability of them.  What the fuck can I loose by looking at everything as a outlet for opportunity and personal development.  I cannot put my gratitude into words.  Im in utter awe that I have carried this book around for at least 3 years, from boxes to storage units, to book piles to my finger and it is life.  Im so in love with the possibility of me changing sooner than later and orchestrating my own mental health.  I will do the work!

Chapter five inquiry:  pick one thing in your life, whether at work or at home, that’s causing you particularly high distress right now.  Try the Three-Gift technique on it:  think of at least three ways the problem could turn into a gift and opportunity at some point in the future.

In fear of my living situation since I moved to Atlanta, homelessness scared the living day lights out of me.  I took off an entire month in July this year to go home to be with Zette (I missed him) and found it super difficult to find a job as quickly as I usually do, normally a week tops.  I took until the end of August to land a position and the money is shit.  I have a pretty ok savings account that I vowed not to touch until I were purchasing property.  So im stuck with 2 months of unpaid rent which is threatening to make me withdrawal money from my “house account”.  As this month closes in on me, I have been losing sleep about it, also afraid to burden my guy (whom I know has a lot on his plate) with my tab.  1. Gift One - forces me to work harder at growing my business to create real income so that working for someone else becomes the supplement versus my primary source of income.  2.  Use my sage gifts to to work on my reoccurring panic attacks, this is a fine opportunity to put to use all that I've learned in this book.  In doing this I can train myself on a small scale how to increase my PQ.  Weaken my liar who tells me if I spend my saved money I'll never get it back, allowing me to believe in myself, the power of my sage and open my eyes to very thing that got me in this condo.. hard work, resilience and the ability to go forward despite what may lie ahead.  3.  Prepare better in the future financially for trips, vacations or any unexpected event that may cause me unemployment.  

Chapter six:

This chapter describes each sage power (there are 5), what inhibit them, when to use them, and provides a game to play when is time to use them.  Some of these I understood 100% while others left me scratching my head.  At the end of the chapter, it provides an example through scenarios where one person had to utilize all of them individually in order to keep her job.  This caused even more confusion for me but I will keep at at it and reread the entire book if I need to, seriously.

Chapter six inquiry:  what is one area of your work or life where could use some fresh and creative new perspective?  Play the “yes.. and...” game by writing idea after idea nonstop for ten minutes without any evaluation along the way.

How to build clientele:

Flyers on in public areas, offering a free return services, consistency on social media posts, do a live tutorials or classes for a limited time, offering a discount to the people in my building, reaching out to a mentor to work under as an understudy, advertise to low income students at all the colleges around town, hash tagging colleges with my services, strengthen my brand, make booking easier and automatic, specials for new clients and returning clients, ads on google, facebook and craigslist, offering specials to the businesses surround me, take better pictures, get a logo, offer classes every month, promote the classes same as I do the service, offer lash classes on craigslist  or google, retain a celeb for services, lash for free at least once per week, create a way to brand, practice is more important than the money right now, learn differnt lashes styles and how to execute them, get more consistent sets, lash once per day even on the mannequin, offer out of state client special or last minute deals,  offer to lash as a donation to the community, offer free lash specials for prom season, graduation and courthouse marriages, talk about your business at least once per day, learn hygiene, maintenance, and sanitation thoroughly, educate clients, brand your shampoo and lash bags with embroidery machine, get a logo, learn new ways to keep professionalism at its peak, get, learn and implement better customer service skills, make your lash bed feel like a hotel California king, get classic lashing service time under 120 minutes, do traveling lash services like a feature lash tech in other peoples salons, offer traveling lash services per day or week to new nailery’s, hair salons and men, advertise during pride in midtown, let clients know you service men, study tutorials on youtube and practice more, diversify your clientele, add and learn more lash and brow services, offer and brand supplies to student, advertise lash classes to your clients, they may want to invest in themselves, get or create a uniform for yourself, open a parlor to teach/train and rent out stations... 11 minutes!!!

Chapter seven:

This is the chapter I’ve been waitin for!!!  This chapter taught me how to switch from my survivor brain to my sage brain in tens seconds.  This is necessary and the timing of this chapter was flawless.  I went out last night for Monday night football, got a little too drunk, relapsed on my old ways of being and lashed out on my guy for no reason of his own.  I was angry, woke up angry, refused to settle my mind, or label my saboteurs.  Tense all day, pinned up energy for no reason.. shit I didn’t even want to read the book today!!  It got real for real, then this chapter a physical way to switch my mind from inner turmoil to physical appreciation.  The book suggests I do this 100 times per day, 21 days in a row to rewire the way my brain sorts information.  I will do this!  I can do this.  I deserve this.

Chapter seven inquiry:  are you willing to promis yourself that you’ll do a hundred PQ reps every dat?  If so, what might your saboteurs try to tell you in the coming dats to talk you out of it?  ||  I am all in!  My outlook on “problems” is definitely more inviting as I eagerly look forward to changing my mind.  You just cannot measure where you are without the test.  My saboteurs will attempt to convince me 21 days is too long or that when I do a PQ workout I may not be able to hush the noise.  Either way im doing this for the full 21 days.  I know somedays I will not remember to get my points but I will commit a workout to each day im lacking to rack up points.