#im running out of tag space someone help
Note
Please please bo sort a girl out with Ghoap x Reader in an abandoned farm 🤪🤪
1k game here - no more please!
@luminousbeings-crudematter my beloved!!! idk if tumblr gives you a notif when i post an ask you sent so im tagging you just in case lol. also you said "unhinged texas chainsaw massacre" and i tried my best but i've never seen that movie :')
3.8k of ghoap x reader ft. ghost and soap hunting down their newest pet in a corn maze (cw: rough noncon sex, kinda puppy play? super light) this is mostly soap x reader, sorry!!
The collar is heavy around your neck, making every breath difficult as you pant. Your lungs seize in your chest when you stumble through the corn maze, desperate for any light at the end of the tunnel.
It doesn't come, but you push on anyways.
The corn is rough against your arms and legs, your body vulnerable to the rough stalks with so many tears in your clothes. Everything hurts - your feet from the rough ground, your throat from all the screaming, your stomach from pure fear and adrenaline. You're too blinded from terror to focus on any of that, the only thought in your head to go go go go get away.
The roar of a chainsaw is loud somewhere to your right. You nearly fall to your knees at the sound, windmilling your eyes to keep yourself steady. A loud, manic laugh echoes from the same direction, and your legs nearly give out.
Fuck, he's right there.
You can't think about how close the sound is, can't focus on how you swear you can see the corn moving, you can only run.
The stalks split in front of you, and you stumble into a clearing. You freeze, feet stopped right on the border of the new area. You bounce onto your toes, like you'd been tugged to a stop before exposing yourself.
The clearing is empty accept for an old tractor, sitting in the center of the grass. It's just a large enough circle that you'd be exposed for several seconds if you tried to reach it, totally clear if anyone was in the stalks.
But... you could hide there, couldn't you? The machine looks massive from your vantage point, there's surely a place to hide there.
It feels cruel to leave your fellow victims to the killers hunting them down, but you know that you have to try and save yourself before trying to help someone else.
You take a deep breath as you sink back to your heels, crouching a little lower in the corn to see if you can spot any movement around the perimeter.
The chainsaw revs again, and someone screams.
Your decision is made for you. The sound of death sends you forward, instinct making you move.
The dirt is rough beneath your feet, small rocks sticking into the soft parts of your sole and offsetting your run. You try your best to keep your balance, eyes trained on the tractor and the small space you know you can squeeze in.
It's silent but for the sound of your own panting, blood rushing through your ears, nothing but that perceived safety in your mind.
Just as you start to ready your legs to launch yourself up to the seat, legs tensing, you're shoved away. Your breath is forced from your lungs as you hit the ground, dirt and rocks shoved into your arms as you roll.
"Ah!" You cry out, forced to your stomach as you roll. It takes a minute to recognize what's happened, for it to click in your mind that someone's there.
It's too late by the time you realize.
You still try to get away, some animal part of you knowing that it's dangerous to stay down.
You manage to get to your knees, eyes darting wildly to spot whoever's tackled you, to know what direction to run. But the field is empty, and you're already moving before you think to look behind you.
It costs you, because you hardly get a step away before you're shoved to the ground again, your attacker staying over your body.
"Where you goin'?" The man rumbles in your ear, his chest pressed to your back and lips against your ear. He nips the shell of your ear and your eyes fly open, face shoved into the dirt.
Hardly a foot away, a chainsaw rests in the dirt. Blood drenches the blade, slowly dripping into a puddle beneath the weapon. It makes you whimper, trying to squirm away from the killer above you.
"No, no, no," he purrs, nosing his way to your cheek and just leaning there, pressing his smile into your skin, his voice rumbling through your back. "Down, pup, c'mon, you're caught. No point in runnin'."
"Please-" you gasp, neck arching to try and get away. "Please, please, please-"
He makes a sound that's somewhere between a laugh and a grunt. "Please, please, please?" His voice pitches up in a mocking tone, a horrible imitation of yours. "You a broken record, lass? Only wanna say the same thing? Come on, tha's no fun, gimme something new."
You shout, the sound caught somewhere between a cough and a sob, hands stretching forward and clawing at the earth. "Please!"
He truly laughs now, a sharp noise in your ear. He stretches himself up above you, chest lifting and hips pushing into yours so that your legs are pinned. All you can do it try to drag yourself forward, hot tears beginning to fall as you're held down in the same place.
"Guess it does sound good from your lips," he muses. He shifts behind you, knees squeezing to either side of your hips and hands reaching so he can grab your elbows.
"Look'it you," he tsks, bending forward to lace your hands together. You cry out at the feeling of being covered, his chest above your head. "Ruinin' your pretty nails, and for what?"
Your head drops to the ground, sobs tearing your throat to shreds as spit falls from your lips. You feel bile working in your stomach, that horrible tension beneath your tongue like you're about to throw up.
"I can't-" you gasp, panic clawing at your mind. You know this man is going to kill you, that he's going to make it hurt, and every part of you rebels at just the thoughts. You can't stop fighting, can't stop trying to get away from him even with the weight holding you down.
"Can't what?" He hums, shifting to kneel above you so that he's not nearly suffocating you. "Can't go anywhere? Naw, bonnie, you're not goin' anywhere now. Caught you fair and square, didn't I?"
There's a part of you that screams to try and argue, to take a deep breath and settle to see if you can make some sort of deal, but the bigger part of you can't calm down, can't do anything but try and shove yourself out from the maniac above you.
"Plus, if I let you go runnin' off you might get caught by Simon." His arms settle on your shoulders and you can't help but yelp, ducking your head low to try and protect your neck. "Then I'd lose. You want that? Thought we were closer than that, lass."
You sob, teeth clenched tight. You don't fucking know the man, you don't know whoever Simon is, you just want to go home.
"That's what I thought," he hums. "Now," he pushes up, and your arms and torso are free as he settles back to rest his weight on your thighs. "I think you and I have some time to play, hm? Before Simon catches us both."
You don't- you don't know what he means, and it's hard to breathe past the fear. It clicks when his hands move to your hips, gripping them tightly.
"Wait," you gasp, eyes flying wide when his fingers creep beneath the hem of your jeans. "Wait, stop-"
"Oh, look at that," he laughs, hands shoving further down until his palms wrap around your thighs. "Learned some new words, baby?"
Your eyes squeeze as your feet kick against the dirt, unable to find any traction without shoes. Scrabbling so frantically only to stay right where you're pinned only serves to work you up more, to make your heart race faster.
"You're warm," he hums, kneading at your thighs and using his wrists to force the pants down, slowly revealing more and more of your skin to the cold night air. "Gonna warm me up, lass?"
"No," you hiss, the realization of what he's going to do sinking in. Your pants are pulled down to mid thigh, keeping your thighs from spreading and leaving your backside on display. "Stop- I'll- don't you dare-"
He laughs again, landing a harsh smack to your vulnerable ass. You cut your begging off with a yelp, hips rocketing into the ground to try and escape the sting when he lands another slap.
"You tryin' to boss me around? Real cute, pup, but you don't have a leg to stand on. Stuck pinned in the dirt and still tryin' to be in charge?" He laughs again, blows shifting from slaps to taps, jiggling the fat of your ass. "Cute, bonnie. Real cute."
You fold an arm beneath your face, try to use the other to force yourself up. "Stop fucking- stop hitting me, you bastard!"
"Oh!" He cackles, his lap slap almost bruising in it's force. "She's got some spine, huh? Maybe you'll be more fun than I thought."
You snarl into the dirt, legs kicking up behind you to try and hit his back. He's too high up on your thighs o reach, and you end up kicking the air like a toddler throwing a tantrum. It only fuels your anger, makes you feel more stuck.
"Keep fightin', bonnie." He presses himself closer to your face, and you catch a glimpse of sharp teeth from your peripheral, his smile sharp. "Makes it more fun for me. Think you'll tighten up if you kick kickin' and screamin'?"
You scream, a primal sound straight from the gut as you throw your head back and to the side, trying to hit him. You somehow manage it, but you hurt yourself just as much. You cry out at the sudden pain in the back of your skull, crumbling back to the ground.
There's a loud moan over your shoulder, and his hips press into yours. He's hard to your horror, his length pressing against the softness of your ass. "Fuck, that felt good."
God, the man is disturbed.
Your attempted attack doesn't stop him from hooking his fingers in your underwear, tugging them down to rest in the crease where your thighs meet your ass.
"Pretty," he purrs, hands stroking from your rips to your jeans, hands pushing hard enough to make you whine. His treatment is all too rough, like he's trying to mold you into the shape he wants. "Can't wait to get my dick in you," he groans, groping you.
"Nooo," you whine, trying to push yourself into the dirt, like it might open you up and swallow you whole, help you escape the horror you can't do anything to stop. "You can't- you can't fuck me, please, don't-"
He moans again, and you hear the clinking of a belt being undone. "Fuck, say it again for me."
Your eyes squeeze shut. You want to be anywhere else, anywhere but here.
You feel the heat of his cock against your ass, and tears sting in your eyes. You taste dirt against your lips, feel your palms sluggishly bleed from the scrapes against the rough ground. You try to focus on everything but what the killer's doing to you, but's impossible
His palm cups your center, fingers wrapping around your vulva and holding firmly. You flinch when his middle finger works between your folds, coming to rest on your clit.
"Need to get you wet," he mumbles, starting to work at the nub to coax some pleasure out of your body. "Simon wouldn't like it if I made you bleed." He snorts, then corrects, "Well, bleeding down there. Won't be shocked if he wants to carve you up a bit."
You shiver, focused too much on staying stiff and keeping your mind as far away as possible to put off the inevitable. What he says doesn't even properly click in your mind, floating in one ear and out the other.
"There we go," he purrs, palm growing slick as your body warms to him unwillingly. He grunts as he shifts to use both hands, one focusing on your clit and the other coming back to tease at your hole.
Two fingers slip in without warning and you yelp at the sudden stretch, hips bucking back instinctively and forcing the fingers further. Your moan is pulled from your chest, part pleasure and part pain.
"You want more lass? Here, don't mind stretching you out."
The third finger comes too soon, too suddenly, and the sting edges too close to pain for you to feel good, even unwillingly.
He's got no patience at all, fingers spreading inside of you while his thumb works furiously at your clit. The mix of good and bad leaves your head clouded, tears slowing as your mind starts to float away a bit.
He moans against your back, face pressed into your shoulder. "Feel so tight, bonnie. Can't wait til you're wrapped around me, wet and tight... fuck, can't wait much longer..."
His teeth press into you throw the fabric of your shirt, the bite only slightly blunted. You breath stutters out of your chest, lips shaking. You want to fight, tell yourself that you should bite and claw and scream, but he's already proven to you that he'd only enjoy that. All you can do is lie in the dirt, lamp and shaking.
Despite all your fear and your hatred for the man over you, you wish he'd stretched you out more.
"Gotta get inside of ya," he grunts, tugging his fingers out with a terribly wet sound. You can hear him sucking your wetness off of them as he shifts further up, letting his hard length rest between your thighs. "Don't... God, you taste good, don't wanna stretch you out too much. You get it, yeah bonnie?"
You whine forlornly, turning your head to the side. You can see him over your shoulder - tall and broad, brown hair in a... mohawk?, bright teeth shown off in a smile. He ducks down while he fists his cock, dipping himself into your wetness.
Wet lips press a kiss to your cheek, a trail of that wetness left against your face. When he pulls back you see the blood dripping from his nose, sniffle at the realization that he's left his own blood over your face.
"Look pretty in red," he whispers, tone oddly soft. It tugs another tear out of you, dripping down the bridge of your nose. His free hand comes up to your face, running a finger through the tear track and sucking the drop off his fingertip. "Taste good everywhere, love."
Your eyes close when he notches himself at your hole, pressing in just enough for you to feel the stretch. He's massive, and the prospect of him shoving himself fully inside of you... you shudder, trying to loosen yourself as much as you can.
He's not kind when he pushes in. You're not sure why you hoped he would be, not with the blood-soaked chainsaw still in your line of sight. But the sudden fullness, the sting, the stretch, draws a high cry from your lips.
His groan nearly drowns out your sounds, your walls spasming around him to try and adjust. You hate that it feels so good for him when you feel like you can hardly breathe around him.
"Feels so good," he moans, words hardly enunciated, thick accent only thickened by his pleasure. You can hardly understand him, far too upset to bother translating him in your head.
"Can't-" he pants, hips jerking out just a few inches only to buck back into yours, pushing as far inside as he can. "Can't come, but can get you off, yeah?"
There's a part of you that's confused by that, that wonders what the fuck he's talking about, but a much larger part of you is focused on the slow drag inside of you.
It would feel better if you were a little wetter, a little more stretched out, but you can't change those things. You relax, try to force your body to cooperate just to make things easier. You try to lean into the parts that do feel good - the way his cock drags against all the most sensitive parts of you, the slap of his balls against your clit - and sink into that pleasant feeling instead of the adrenaline still lingering in your veins.
He doesn't speak when he fucks into you, forehead pressed into your shoulder blade as he starts to drive you truly insane. It starts feeling good quickly enough for you to forget the pain, the horror, and you gladly fall into the oblivion creeping over your mind.
It's good, as horrible as it is to think. The bastard knows what he's doing.
It's some indeterminate amount of time later when you hear the stalks shifting again, eyes flying open just in time to see a man step into the clearing.
The man over you moans when the stranger gets closer, turning his head to the side. His hips buck into you even more roughly, your thighs beginning to ache from the force.
"Simon," he calls out, and it clicks in your head.
The new man is masked and wearing all black, and you recognize him as the other killer hunting you through the maze. His mask is just as terrifying from close up as it was when you first glanced over your shoulder while running, the sight of him in the distance almost floating while surrounded by shadows.
"Bein' good, Johnny?" He rumbles, boots stopping next to the chainsaw and toeing it away.
"Yes, sir," the man over you - Johnny - grunts, thrusts erratic. "Left-left the ring on, haven't come, promise."
There's a hum from above you, the man crouching down. "Good boy. Woulda had to ruin your fun if you got yourself off."
He whines at that, and you can't help but furrow your eyebrows. The man above you going from cocky and terrifying asshole to whining and moaning above you doesn't fit with the image you'd had in your head.
"I ken. 'S why I didn't take it off, ye bawbag." Johnny's voice shakes a bit as he switches to grinding against you, hips pressed flush with yours. The sudden pressure against your clit and so deep inside of you leaves you moaning, eyes rolling back. The peak of an orgasm is right there, just out of reach, and you reach for it desperately.
"Watch it," Simon scolds, shifting forward to his knees and reaching far enough to slap Johnny, the sound echoing through the silent clearing. Your eyes fly open, instinctually flinching away.
Simon's head tilts down to you, ignoring Johnny's whine. His gloved hand comes down to rest on your face, gripping your chin and lifting enough to get a good look at your face.
"Pretty thing," he says, giving your face a little shake before letting you drop to the ground. You can't even begin to care so close to the edge, focus solely on getting off
"'S what I said."
"Hmm. Why don't you go ahead and get the poor pup off? Looks like she's cockdrunk enough as is, might as well get her the whole way there before we take her home."
"With pleasure, sir."
It's hard to focus after that point. Johnny's hand tunnels beneath your stomach and to your clit, working his hips in full thrusts and rubbing you so perfectly. It takes hardly any time at all to get you off, the perfect mix of sensations sending you flying over that edge.
You're not sure what happens between the time when you come and when Johnny pulls out. Your vision nearly whites out, moving away from the scrapes and bruises and into the pleasure gripping every muscle. It's so much easier to lean into the good than the bad, to pretend the warmth is just the pleasure instead of the man at your back.
You're brought back into the real world by the feeling of something being wrapped around your neck, left just tight enough for you to jerk, panicked you couldn't breathe.
"Hush, pup," Simon shushes when you jerk up, eyes flying wide. "Just givin' you your collar. Makin' sure anyone who spots you can take you right home, hm?"
Johnny tugs you up as Simon speaks, grip just a tad too rough on your shoulders when he pulls you up to your knees. You're still a bit out of it as he tucks your jeans and underwear up, dick hard and slick against the small of your back.
The fear comes back as you're brought to your feet by Simon, hands on your elbows tugging you up. You're unsteady on your feet, knees almost knocking together while you blearily blink up at the masked man.
The sound of metal clinking together, a small yank against your neck, is what brings you fully back into your skin. Simon clips a leash to your collar and then Johnny's, matching pink and blue leads that make your eyebrows furrow.
Johnny - shirtless, drenched in blood - smiles at you, teeth stained with his own blood.
"Come on," Simon rumbles, a sudden tug against your throat nearly sending you to your feet. "Need to get you home, pup."
Johnny catches you before you can fall, laughing as he helps you up. The sight of a black studded collar at his throat jars you, fingers lifting to feel at the fabric around your throat. It's not studded, just a soft leather with a thick ring at the front where the leash connects.
"Looks good on you," Johnny compliments, guiding you to stumble along behind Simon as the man leads you both away, into one of the entrances to the maze.
"What..." your throat is rough and you cough, heartbeat picking up. "What're you doing?"
Johnny's smile is a little condescending, almost herding you forward by staying half behind you. "Takin' you home, lass. You're the last one alive. You make a pretty final girl, bonnie."
There's a sharp yank at your collar, tugging your attention to Simon where he's glancing over his shoulder at you. "Think you'll make a good pup. Johnny's been needing a new little friend, might as well be you, hm?"
There's.... nothing really to say to that. You're too weak, too shaky to try and make a run for it. The blue leash is held loose in Simon's hand, but the pink is wrapped tight around his fist. There's no way you're strong enough to jerk it out of his hand, and even if you could you've got no way out of the maze - they already found you first.
Johnny's hand nudges you forward, almost making you fall. He moves to walk beside you, shoulders almost rubbing together. You think the expression he shoots you is supposed to be comforting, but it's anything but.
You breathe deeply, head beginning to throb again, and hope you have the strength to survive what they'll do to you.
#so sorry lumi i feel like this is repetitive and not that well written :( hope you enjoy regardless <3#by the way... my attempt at johnny's accent.... it happened#luminousbeings-crudematter#< aka the loml#bo writes#1k celebration#ghoap x reader
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505 cl16
where you reminisce on your first love
wc 3k
an done for my 1.2k event! first fic in the series, lmk if you wanna be tagged and as always pls like + rb<3
(starts in 2014, ends in 2024ish)
i'm going back to 505
you rushed down the road, feet peddling as hard as they could as you biked down the street. your eyes glanced down to your watch, squinting before you read the time. great. you were going to be late.
you thought that was you’re biggest problem, and then a new one came crashing onto you, literally.
while you were busy checking the time, you failed too notice someone else running in your direction. you don't know what had them too preoccupied to notice you- but you could technically say the same thing about yourself so-
you were bought back to the moment by the stinging you started to feel on your knees, you hissed looking down and seeing red. ugh
you began to apologize, looking up and stopping mid sentence.
wow. he was pretty. really pretty
you slapped yourself mentally, wincing while standing up. it was definitely going to scar. you reached your hand down to help the mysterious boy up, who sharply inhaled when your hands met. he had scraped his hands up pretty bad when you guys collided.
"i'm so sorry again"
"you're completely fine, i should've been paying more attention" he said while laughing
he has nice laugh
"anyway, i think i should properly introduce myself, i'm charles le clerc" this time he was the one to extend his hand out
"y/n l/n, nice to meet you" you smiled as you shook hands
then you remembered what had gotten you into this mess. you checked your watch again. you were definitely late now.
"i'm so sorry charles but im running late to a painting class, i really need to go" you picked up your bike, kicking the dust off of it.
"wait i am too, are you going to mme. callarios?"
you looked back at him in shock. "how did you know"
he shook his head, "you're going in the wrong direction, since we're heading the same way mind if i show you?"
you didn't see why not, so he climbed in front of you and began to head towards your class
-
if it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
the bike halted as you reached your destination. building 505. you stared at each other nervously before walking in. the class had started at 1pm, and it was nearing 2 when you arrived. granted, it was a 4 hour class but still.
you cringed internally as you felt all eyes on you when you opened the doors to the class.
"y/n, charles! great to see you. we've split up into partners, so you both will have to work together. decide who will be the painter and who will be the model for the first piece. switch in an hour and a half!" she explained quickly, ushering you both to the only empty table.
you both sat across from each other, and after a small game of rock paper scissors, you were adjusting in your seat getting ready to pose for the next 90 minutes.
-
when you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect?
you didn't know how you managed to keep a straight face, his stares were piercing into what felt like your soul. you knew that he had to be like this, he was painting you after all. but knowing that didn't help. after silently uttering some words of encouragement to yourself, you maintained a straight face.
after what felt like forever, you heard the timer go off, and with one last stroke of the brush charles was up and you were swapping places. you cracked your knuckles before sitting on the stool. this was gonna have to be the best painting you've ever done.
before you knew it you were hearing to now familiar ring as you finished off the details of his eyes. you stood up, backing away from the piece. not too bad you thought.
after everyone had finished, you went to the room across as they all dried. it was acrylic, so it wouldn't take too long. there were snacks and refreshments scattered throughout the space. grabbing a drink and seat, you started to learn more about charles. he had two brothers, one older and younger. his mom still cut his hair, you thought he might be embarrased but he showed it off proudly.
“all these years and she still hasn't given me a bad haircut”
“if my mom could cut hair like yours, i'd be getting it done by her too”
“you should come by her salon sometime, i think she'd like you”
“really?”
“yeah, she's out of town so next month when she's back”
with those plans made, you collectively went back into the painting room. you both swapped paintings and looked at them for a while.
you gauged his reaction, at first his face was blank and you were scared that you had made him look like a troll or something, but slowly a smile creeped up onto his face, he looked up to you.
“it's really good”
you smiled and looked down to yours, he had gotten your likeliness down to a t. he left clear marks and left the strokes visible.
looking up you saw him searching your eyes for a reaction, just like you had.
“you did so good, i love your painting style”
he seemed relieved when you said that, smiling. as everyone around you began to pack up and leave, you both exchanged numbers before grabbing your paintings and going your separate ways.
-
not shy of a spark
you had texted back and forth a lot since then, and soon enough you found yourself at the doorstep of his moms salon. after being welcomed in you sat down and showed her photos of the haircut you wanted. she nodded, and began to wet your hair
“charles talks about you a lot, you know”
“does he really” you said with a laugh
“he does, i think he likes you dear”
that shut you up, she smiled warmly
“at this age, love is everywhere, make sure you grab it while you can”
you left the appointment with amazing hair and a lot of questions, you didn't think he could possibly like you back. but now, who knows
the knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark
-
I'm going back to 505
you walk into the painting studio, excited with the a dragonfruit in your hand. today was still life day, normally you found it boring but mme. callarios had let everyone bring their own fruit.
you spotted charles when you got in, and lifted your dragonfruit for him to see. he put his hand up, showing off the orange he had started to peel. he tore off a piece for you, and offered it once you got closer.
your hand was cramping as your eyes continued to squint at the pink fruit in front of you. you regretted picking dragon fruit barely half an hour in, the seeds and the outer skin were proving difficult to paint accurately, you glanced over to charles, his was coming along nicely. you ended up pushing through the ugly phase and were somewhat proud of the piece. it had definitely been your most challenging one so far
-
If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
you were biking to charles' place, over the weeks you had both become closer, and he wanted to cook for you. you were somewhat scared, charles didn't seem like michelin star material, but maybe he'd surprise you.
he did end up surprising you, but not in the way that you thought.
pasta was on the menu for the afternoon, and you sat on the counter as he went around getting all the ingredients ready. basil, pine nuts, garlic, and olive oil were all pushed onto an island before he began on the pasta. getting out the flour and egg, he began to knead the dough together.
he looked nice in moments like this, comfortable. you liked to think that maybe you could see more of him like this, when he's quiet and the silence isn't awkward. existing together in his apartment kitchen. once he was done cutting the dough into pieces, he salted the water and dropped the pasta in. he came over to you and you both began talking.
you ended up getting so immersed in the conversation that the pasta was forgotten- at least until it was too late. you glanced over to the stove, eyes widening as you saw smoke rising from the pan. you both jumped up and yanked it off the gas, bringing it to the sink. what was going to be amazing pasta was now a charred rock. you couldn't help but laugh before getting side eyed by charles.
"i guess we're going to have to order pizza instead"
you ended up binging some random show you found on netflix, and as a souvenir took home the rock of burnt pasta, you named it char, short for charles charcoal
-
In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side
charles had become a f3 driver now, and hadn't been in monaco for a bit. you watched all his races, and you were the first person he called after his first win in pau-ville. he was excited, and so were you.
you're feelings for him had kept growing, and you couldn't help it, no matter how much you tried. you loved everything about him, his eyes, and how they'd light up when he saw you, his smile, and the dimples that formed when he did. his hair, his voice, just him.
soon enough he was back in monaco and you were excited to see him.
you grabbed coffee and began walking around the streets, stopping at building 505, walking into the currently empty studio. you looked around some of the paintings before sitting on some stools.
you knew him too well now, 3 years of friendship will do that. he was nervous, when he bought his hand up to his face you had saw he had bitten his nails. you didn't bring it up, but before you could say anything he started to speak
"i've been trying to figure out how i should say this for the longest time. i've known for a while now, but it really hit me in pau. i couldn't have don't any of this without you, i don't even think i'd be who i am without you y/n. and now that i'm back i can' t handle not telling you. i like you, i really like you"
you were stunned for a minute, before you kicked back the stool you were sitting in and kissed him. the puzzles had fallen into place, you couldn't believe it.
he deepened the kiss, bringing his hand to your waist as you sat in his lap. your fingers ran through his hair, tugging as you began to roll your hips against his.
you pulled away, panting. smiling at him before you began to kiss him again, his hands roamed down to your shirt, tugging it up as he separated from you again. you raised your arms, and took his off as well. a silent beat skipped between you both and you laughed
"are we really about to do this right now"
"yeah, i think we are"
you pulled him closer to you once again, his tongue slipped int your mouth effortlessly and you almost moaned, god he knew how to make you melt.
soon enough, the rest of your clothes followed suit and you were on the cool tile floor. as his hand started to trace your inner thigh you grabbed his hand. he looked up, somewhat confused but before he could say anything you spoke,
'i've never done this before"
he relaxes almost immediately, and smiles down at you
"neither have i"
you weren't ashamed to admit you were shocked, sopmeone like him.. never? not once?
he could see the gears turning in his head and he spoke up
"there were girls now and then sure, but i always wanted it to be you, it's always been you honestly"
you couldn't see yourself rn, but you were sure you were giving im heart eyes by now.
"it was the same for me too actually" you said sheepishly
"was it really?
"yeah, it was" and with that you bought your hands up to his shoulder, flipping him onto the floor. you kissed him softly, turning his face to kiss along his jaw, his neck, going further down to his chest, then stomach. pausing for permission, after seeing his nod you pulled down, eyes widening as you saw it. well this was gonna be interesting
you left kisses on his tip, working your way down before you took him all in your mouth. he hit the back of your throat and you almost choked, but hearing the moans coming out of his mouth kept you going. you could feel him start to pulse, and before you could do anything else he was bringing you off of him, kissing your lips as he turned you around.
“can’t have you doing all the work can i cher?” he said as he pulled your underwear down, almost moaning when he looked down at you, all of you.
he traced his hands down your sternum, down to your waist and legs. spreading you open he dipped his face down.
you could feel his tongue inside you, pulsing before he started scissoring you open. he was good- too good at this. you don’t know if you could handle it. soon enough, he was back on top of you, kissing you gently as he lined himself up with your entrance.
he cleaned you up afterwards, he was quiet, soft. you could get used to this
-
but I crumble completely when you cry
it had been months since that night, you and charles had been going strong, but after he joined f2, something changed. his eyes no longer lit up when he saw you, he started buying things for you instead of making them. you’d wake up to your phone being full of messages, but none of them from him.
it hurt. he hurt.
it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when he called you, asking where you were.
you answered, mme. callarios’ place. he said he was going to be there soon.
you felt your heart drop, wether it was excitement or fear, you couldn’t tell.
you knew the minute he stepped through the door it was going to be bad. you could read him like a book. you composed yourself as he came closer, pressing quick kisses to the others cheeks, you painted a smile on your face and smiled at him.
his eyes were full of emotion, for the first time in months. it’s almost funny, you knew it was coming but the moment the words left his mouth you broke down
“i’ve been seeing someone else”
“i see”
at first it didn’t register, not really. a heartbeat later you felt the tears pricking at your eyes. you turned around trying to excuse yourself, but before you could take another step a sob escaped your lips. you started to cry. you couldn’t shut up, why couldn’t you just shut up? you could feel yourself gasping for breath, all the air in the world wasn’t enough for your lungs right now. you were getting lightheaded, knees turning shaky before ultimately giving up on you. the impact resonated around the empty room.
he stepped forward, kneeling down. his stupid, warm hands brushed up against your face, trying to wipe away your tears.
you couldn’t even push him off of you. you really were pathetic.
you managed to fight your way up, shaking and all but running out the door.
never again, you were never going to love anyone like that again
-
i’m going back to 505
you walked into a crowded room. your latest collection had been getting a lot of coverage in the media, and it was the last day it was up for the public. the pieces would be going to the individual buyers first thing tomorrow.
building 505. it no longer made a bitter taste seep into your mouth. it’s crazy to think a decade ago you were standing here painting him, how time flies.
the first few months were the worst. he was the only thing you could think of, you were a broken record. so naturally, you did the one thing that made you feel close to him again, painting. and it saved you
you could get out every thought you were too afraid to say out loud, every emotion you didn’t want to feel with simple strokes on canvas
you didn’t think anything would come of it, honestly. you were meant to go into investment banking, like your parents. the universe had other plans though
one of mme. callarios’ friends was a museum director, and took a liking to your pieces. he asked you to do some works on commission. word got around fast, and now you’ve made a name for yourself as an artist, in some ways all thanks to charles
charles. now he had his dream job, f1. working with the team he used to tell you about, the team he worshipped.
you were happy for him, sometimes you wonder if he was happy for you. you still think of him when you eat pesto, you still keep char in a jar under your bed, you have all of the paintings you made that summer in a closet collecting dust. there were pieces of yourself that you gave to him that will stay his even though you’re done.
none of that matters now though, you turn to someone who’s called your name and start explaining the piece they’ve asked about
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc prompt#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#scudia ferrari#charles leclerc x yn#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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Somebody’s Watching Me
What happens when you ignore him after a fight (#groveling).
Diluc Ragnvindr x Reader
Kaeya Alberich x Reader
Xiao x Reader
A/N: I actually wrote this back in July bc i wanted angst and tension and I meant to post it then but I didn’t have the balls to (still dont but--)... it took me three hours to write less than 3k.... im not who i used to be its so- whateverrrrr,,, as always more of my thoughts are after the tags kekeke, can you tell i still adore angst?
WC - around 2.7K
~~~
Diluc R.
Baby daddy Diluc would love to give you space after a disagreement but, he can’t. He finds himself distracted with everything and anything, nothing can get done when you’re upset with him. Without your forgiveness, he becomes a lost soul! He follows you around like a kicked puppy, he can’t help it! Listen, this man is protective as shit and refuses to be in your bad graces. He’ll do anything to make it up to you, even giving you space if you really want it (although that is the last thing he wants). If you ignore him for too long tho, he might just melt into a puddle of goo and wipe out!
“My love, please-”
“No, Dliuc!” You push away his gloved hand being held out to you, the one that so desperately yearns to cup your cheek, you scoff at it. You scoff at him and Diluc feels his heart aching deep in his chest. “You might not think much of it but, I do. Leave me alone.”
The words harshly slap against him, leaving the man speechless as he pathetically opens and closes his mouth to say anything to get you back. His feet feel as if they’re made out of stone and he knows that no weight could ever keep him from running to you but, now, with the hurt on your face; he feels too ashamed to do anything but watch you storm out of the Winery.
He didn’t know that a snide comment about his brother would snowball into this, you and your unmoving anger.
You’re just so stubborn, so beautiful, that it makes him want to tug at his fiery roots until he yanks his hair out. Diluc knows he said the wrong thing, that maybe talking so lowly of someone you consider a dear friend wasn’t the right thing to do but, he simply could not help it.
Because Diluc watches whenever you step into his field of vision, makes sure to keep you within a safe distance beside him so then he feels comfortable enough to carry on with whatever he was doing.
The same thing happened earlier in the night, everything was fine after his usual scan of the room, but then he heard your laugh. Your charming laugh, one that he thought was reserved for him was instead being spoiled by his brother. It’s a miracle the glass he was drying in his hand didn’t shatter at that moment. Diluc is more than aware of your close friendship with Kaeya, he knows of all the commissions the two of you share and he hates it. Your relationship irks him in a way that he can’t comprehend and he’s aware that he needs to fix that. Fix his jealousy. However, it’s clearly taking much longer than he thought.
Instead of worrying, Diluc focuses on organizing the newly cleaned glasses he left after dinner. One by one, he sets them up perfectly on the shelf before carefully placing each napkin in its rightful stack. It’s become his ritual of cleaning the Winery each night. But, now he’s just distracting himself from the inevitable feeling that has already begun to set in. A mix of worry and guilt, inevitably overpowered by rejection.
His strong fingers thump against the clean dining table and for a moment, Diluc distracts himself from the one thing he wants most. You. It’s a distraction short-lived because he cracks a single finger before making his way deep into the office. Perhaps his paperwork will give him a large enough headache to distract him once more.
The numbing pain building in his temple is nothing compared to the hollow ache blooming in his chest. The mundane task works, the countless amount of numbers he checks over and over again do their job until he hears the gentle sound of the door opening. For a moment, he thinks he may have imagined it but then he hears your footsteps and Diluc is out of his chair and pushing the door out of his way to meet you.
Even if you glance at him and ignore him, walking further up the stairs to create more distance, Diluc already feels the ache starting to soothe over. He follows you after you, keeping a safe amount of paces behind you. Quietly, he moves as if you won’t be able to notice his six-foot frame doing so.
“Beloved,” He starts and you greet him with the bedroom door closing in his face. The action causes a small smile to appear on his face, but Diluc quickly shakes it away. “please,”
It’s nearing midnight and neither of you has time for this. The last thing Diluc wants is you going to sleep upset with him.
He sighs softly before following you into the bathroom, the man feels ashamed and it burns brightly in his chest,
“I’m sorry,” He murmurs against your neck, slowly breathing in the alluring scent entangled with your hair. “please forgive me.” In his own selfish way, a side he can only show towards you, he doesn’t really give you a choice. Diluc’s strong, muscular arms are wrapped around your waist and holding onto you so tightly. You couldn’t get away from him now without a fight. “I’m working on… my jealousy. Darling, please.”
Even you have to admit how hard it is to deny Diluc when he is begging so earnestly.
You lightly place your hand on top of his own, squeezing him gently before glancing back to place a gentle kiss on his jaw. He sighs with relief.
“I won’t forgive you so easily next time.”
“I know. I will hold you to it.”
Kaeya A.
Kaeya, my forever #1 in this game, would need space after a heavy disagreement. If you walk one way then he will walk in the other direction until he cools off. However, it usually takes him about ten meters before he realizes that he should escort you wherever you’re going so he just follows while silently stewing in his own anger. Kaeya doesn’t show it, he never does because he doesn’t want to displease you but, his upset feelings are there. But, he loves you and would kiss the ground that you walk on to prove it to you.
“Fine then.”
“Fine!” You shriek, and how it got to this, Kaeya isn’t really sure. He watches as you turn away and walk towards the entrance of Mondstadt, his stare lingers for a few moments before he heads towards the cathedral. The two of you always know how to make a scene, even when no one is around and it is late into the evening and all the shops around have closed. He finds that to be a good thing, he didn’t want an audience tonight. Not like this anyway.
His blood is still rushing through his veins, he can hear his heart thumping in his ears. He can still recall the fire burning in your eyes and the distinct way that your hands trembled by your sides every time either of your voices got louder. The captain feels guilty above anything else, anger is still there but he knows it’s an emotion that will fade away quickly.
“Damn it, (Y/N),” Kaeya sighs before tilting his head back, giving himself the view of the starry sky. You always did love the night sky. He knows what he said was wrong, that maybe he shouldn’t have insinuated that you needed support on such a lowly ranked mission but, he couldn’t help it. Kaeya does not like to take chances with you and he would rather underestimate you than overestimate, even if that makes you burn brighter in fury than his brother’s hair.
He just didn’t expect you to get so angry, he thought that maybe you would understand and take it down a notch. Kaeya can’t stand to see you get hurt, to find you fighting multiple monsters all by yourself at once. There’s nothing in this world that could save him if something happened to you, why don’t you get that?
Any unresolved anger gets put on the back burner of his mind, Kaeya decides to make it his priority to look for you. He’ll be damned if you don’t want to be found.
“Stubborn ass,” He murmurs as he heads out the gates, there are a number of places that you could be. Kaeya finds himself so focused, consumed with this one thing he wants so badly, that he doesn’t even blink as he passes the darknight hero.
The redhead beside him lets out a noise that is somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.
“(Y/N),” Kaeya calls when he sees you on the other side of the bridge outside the walls of Mondstadt, feet hanging off of the side while you stare at the ducks in the lake below. He sounds playful and that instantly causes your face to sour. Your lips purse at his voice, eyebrows furrowing together, you merely blink at Kaeya before turning your attention back to the water. “don’t ignore me, sweetest.”
In a way, Kaeya is still trying to level his own anger. He’s still processing the effects of your previous conflict while balancing your current conversation. It takes him a moment or two to find the right footing.
“What’s got you bothered, babe?” He sits down beside you very close to the point that there are mere centimeters that keep your thighs from touching. You look at him with a blank expression but Kaeya can see the irritation embedded in your features. “Oh?” He sounds amused when you ignore him once more but, that could be further from the truth. Kaeya is neither entertained nor delighted by this, no, he’s pissed. “Come on, talk to me,” He urges again and this time, he wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. “you wound me, (Y/N).”
“You wound me!” You finally snap at him, eyes filled with a rage that clearly hasn’t left you from before. “You think I’m weak!”
“I do not, my darling. I just think you need some extra help whenever I can’t join you.” Kaeya’s words do little to soothe your anger, in fact, you just become more irritated. You attempt to push yourself up, to stand up and walk away from him but the captain pulls you tightly into his chest. “You’re not running away from me again~” Had you not been so upset you would have caved in at his honeyed words, taking a rest in his strong arms. “I just want you to stay safe, you get that, don’t you?”
Some part of you can understand that.
“I’m sorry if I had upset you, sweetest, but I want to make sure nothing happens to you.” Almost as if he is trying to emphasize his words, Kaeya’s arms squeeze around you tightly. “Please let me protect you,”
“I can protect you too, okay?” You stubbornly stare at him and the challenge that rests within your eyes makes his heart flutter. “and myself.”
“Do you promise me?” Kaeya dips his head down, brushing his lips over yours.
“I promise.”
And he seals that with a kiss.
Xiao
If, for some reason, you end up in a disagreement with Xiao and you tell him to politely ‘fuck off’; he will respect your wishes. Xiao will respect it and you by keeping a safe distance of 50 meters between the two of you. Sorry to say this (teehee not really) but the adeptus will not let you out of his sight. He makes it his duty to protect you so when he ends up being the one that hurts you, he works tenfold to make up for it. Quietly, he will follow until you’re ready to come back and talk with him once more.
“Leave me alone, Xiao.” You didn’t have to even look over your shoulder to tell he was there. Still, you frown when you see your boyfriend behind you perched on the top of a large rock. Irritation blooms in your chest and you hastily try to swallow it down by taking a few more steps down the dirt path.
“Okay.” His voice is soft, almost as it if he speaks it like a promise. You sigh out in relief, feeling a weight lifting off of your shoulders because sometimes you just need space. But then he appears on another boulder in front of you, teleporting, and it almost feels as if he is mocking you.
Xiao watches you carefully, he doesn’t let his amber eyes leave your sight for even a second as you continue to aimlessly walk through the Bishui plain. Had you not known him so well, you would have thought he was angry. His face is hard as his hollow eyes stare and stare to make sure you feel his presence all around you.
This is a normal Xiao. Protective and kind, always worrying about you almost more than needed. No amount of arguing or convincing could get him to see that you’re fine without him hovering around you every second of every day. The mere thought makes you wince and ache blooms in your chest at the harsh words spat between the two of you earlier in the evening.
You shouldn’t have called him obsessive and paranoid.
He shouldn’t have called you weak and helpless.
Carefully, you glance over your shoulder to look at him. Xiao looks lonely on the rock, he feels distant as his eyes wash over you. Almost to ask what’s wrong, he subtly tilts his head.
You’re not ready to give in, not yet. You keep walking, ignoring the gentle breeze of air transporting around you until you reach a familiar rock.
The earthly object is not hard to climb, it sits low enough that you can place yourself on it without any work. It provides such a pretty view of the plains, and the gentle green and yellow accents never fail to provide you with comfort and a sense of stability.
Xiao lets you have your breath of air, he watches as you stare longingly at the scene in front of you. He doesn’t glance at it once, he’s meant to protect Liyue and will do so with his entire being when it comes down to it but-
But, something claws in his chest and urges him to protect you even more.
If you want space, he will give it to you. However, he will always see to it personally that you get home safely. His mortal treasure is more precious to him than duties.
He can only stand you angry at him for so long.
Xiao’s footsteps are silent, he moves so quietly that you don’t hear him but you always feel him when he is near. You know that he is now standing beside you, just a little behind so that he doesn’t impose on your view.
“Are you ready to forgive me?” Xiao, as much as he doesn’t know about mortal emotions, knows how this needs to go. He asks for forgiveness, you grant it to him then you’re not angry with him anymore. He sees the scene play out time and time again between couples at the Wangshuu inn, but he would never admit that he pays attention to them.
“Have you even apologized yet?” You glance back at him, brief judgment in your eyes but any of your fighting spirit had diminished hours ago.
“Oh,” Xiao quietly gasps, hiding the noise as he gently sits down next to you, he forgot about that part, didn’t he? “I apologize.”
“I’m sorry.”
You both blurt it out at the same time and a heavy air descends upon the two of you. Xiao shakes his head before tilting it away from you as he lets his eyes glance over rock to rock.
“You’re not weak.” His soft tone almost makes you melt and the quiet murmur makes your cheeks burst with heat. “I don’t want anything to ever happen to you. If you call for me, I will always be there.”
You smile, you smile at him and he feels the stiff heart in his chest thump.
“I know, Xiao.” His eyes widen as you rest your hand over his own, how can you be so kind and understanding? “I shouldn’t have called you those things, I didn’t mean it, I was just angry and took it out on you.” Xiao almost finds it hard to focus, your touch is so soft and your lips are so full underneath the moonlight. Oh, how can’t he kiss you at this moment? “I like my space but, only if you’re there to share it with me.”
#diluc ragnvindr x reader#kaeya alberich x reader#xiao x reader#genshin x reader#diluc x reader#kaeya x reader#xiao x y/n#genshin x you
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KARMA IS MY BOYFRIEND
summary: in which charles's girlfriend is the biggest swiftie. (it wasnt showing up in the tags so i had to repost. tumblr can be a bitch sometimes)
masterlist
๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑
liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, lilymhe and 1,349,857 others
yourusername 1989 TAYLORS VERSION 1989 TAYLORS VERSION 1989 TAYLORS VERSION 1989 TAYLORS VERSION
view all 28,395 comments
lilymhe the only appropriate response
ferrarifan MOTHERS
charles_leclerc this is nothing. what you didn't see was the hour she spent running around the house calling everyone we knew
↳ yourusername you helped
↳ charles_leclerc we had agreed not to tell people that
↳ formula1fan goals.
scuderiaferrari 🎶 we never go out of style 🎶
liked by yourfriend, carmenmmundt and 1,820,057 others
yourusername guys guys, i might meet taylor swift this weekend im going to cry (i know i look cool, but im freaking out)
view all 14,057 comments
charles_leclerc am i not relevant anymore?
↳ yourusername not when taylor swift is in my vicinity
username NO WAY SHES SO LUCKY
taylorfan how is she going to meet taylor?
↳ charlesfan there are rumours that taylor will be at the f1 monza track! yn is charles' (ferrari driver) girlfriend, so she will be there too!
↳ taylorfan no way shes the luckiest girl in the world wtf
carmenmmundt the one weekend i cant make it 😭
↳ yourusername ill try facetiming you if i meet her
↳ lilymhe me too hello?
↳ yourusername ofc darling
yourusername via stories
liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 20,230,857 others
yourusername i died dead. rip me.
view all 1,290,357 comments
yourusername YALL SHE SHOWED UP
↳ charlesfan NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS REAL 😭
↳ ynfan i didnt know it was possible to be so happy and jealous of someone at the same time
lilymhe happiest day of my life
↳ carmenmmundt same. i love you taylor and i love you yn
↳ yourusername mwah ❤️
charles_leclerc taylor planned something with the girls and yn wont tell me what it is
↳ yourusername and you wonder why i didn't tell you
↳ alexalbon what is it
↳ georgerussell tell me
↳ carmenmundt no
↳ lilymhe go away
↳ alexalbon bullies
liked by taylorswift, selenagomez and 6,934,085 others
yourusername died dead. pt 2
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taylorswift you're welcome any time!
↳ taylorfan is the space between "any" and "time" a reference to blank space?
↳ taylorfan2 NAW THATS TOO FAR NOW
↳ taylorfan3 the way it actually might be 💀
yourusername still crying over the fact that ive met and HUGGED the taylor swift
↳ charles_leclerc still crying over the fact that my girlfriend loves taylor more than me 💔
↳ formula1fan at least if his careers in driving and music fail, we know he can fall back to comedy
taylorfan3 I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS, BUT I WANT TO BE HER
formulataylor cries in broke
liked by lilymhe, pierregasly and 2,084,537 others
charles_leclerc ive officially been knighted as best boyfriend ever
comments on this post have been limited
yourusername i told you that in confidence
↳ charles_leclerc you were stupid to think i wouldnt brag
↳ pierregasly not like he can brag about anything else
↳ yourusername 😮
lilymhe my bestfriend is so pretty
↳ yourusername mine is even prettier <3
liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 2,039,583 others
yourusername karma is my boyfriend
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alexalbon @.lilymhe am i also karma?
↳ lilymhe no, you havn't earned it yet
↳ yourusername you gotta take her to see taylor first
ynfan2 the way he looks at her >>>
charlesfan the question is, does he deserve the title of karma?
↳ charles_leclerc yes i do.
↳ charlesfan2 im not so sure
↳ charles_leclerc @.yourusername
↳ yourusername guys, we have to be nice. he took me to the eras tour AND knew the lyrics to 50% of the songs
#formula 1#vanishingcherry#f1#charles leclerc#f1 x reader#formula one#leah writes ──⋆˚₊⋆ ๑#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc fluff#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x swiftie reader#charles leclerc x swiftie!reader
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König finding out that you are hard of hearing
Gender-neutral Reader
*Slow burn
Word count: ~4265
Always ignoring your Colonel, König takes it into his own hands to finally turn your attention on to him.
What he doesn't anticipate... is that you have actually been hard of hearing all along.
*‼️Mature themes**‼️ (mostly in the form of König's overly sexual[ised] fantasies and downright delusional thoughts of you). König is a MAJORRR pervert, and you're oblivious. 😋💅✨
I AM BACK!!!! 😳😳FROM THE *DEAD*!!!!! ☠️💀🧟♂️And ive fot a lil smth planned for you Ghost lovers ;)
*Many thanks to -—>@trepaika<;—-🤭💖✨💓💞🩷💕 for proofreading this !!😇😇 I had no energy whatsoever to read it afger typikg this out so i am so honoired that you took time out of your day/night to help mw out and it rlly means alot 🥹🥹💙💙🩵🫂💙🩵 you better do yoir fucking biologu work afterthis 😡😡
*Thabk you so much to @reyner-lee for this request!! 🥰💖💖💕 Initiallt, i was aiming for a "idiots in love" plot where König and reader are both oblivious😩😩😩 . .... made König veey mentally unstable and psosessive instead ☠️☠️💀, mb broski😇💁🏼♀️🧚✨🌟💫💕💞💞💕✨
no but seriouslh i didnt mean to mwke this so mature it was meant to be a FLUFFY(mayb a little bit angsty 😳) fic as ALWAYS😡😡 so im SO sorry for dekivering something COMPLETELY different to what u probs had in mindbc lets face it this is completely diffetent to whay i initially hwd in mind too LMAO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
*Part of the KönigxKing series (drabbles with loose plot, no world-building just a collection of one-shots)
*Edited 14/10/2023 for typos
Tag List ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @abysslovesyou ♡ @puff0o0 ☆ @rustic-guitar-notes ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @reyner-lee ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika
...
You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when your hearing worsened.
As a soldier, heightened senses were something of a blessing, especially in high-pressure situations: a 20/20 vision, a gut feeling, or even just the ability to distinguish the most indistinguishable of sounds that others would miss was something of a life-saver.
Literally.
Hairs standing on end and goosebumps running down arms could alert a soldier — you — to an assassin sneaking behind them, hand with a knife glistening under reflected light in the dark, poised ready to slit their neck.
Instead, you could save yourself in the nick of time by executing them before they had the chance to do so.
Stealth on missions was a lifeline. To sneak in and out, to extract intel, evading all detection all the while, and to disappear when you hadn't even appeared on the enemy's radar in the first place made you breathe easier on the journey home.
The ability to hear footsteps in enclosed spaces and pinpoint the exact location of someone through a mis-step on a creaky floorboard or a squeaky door hinge was vital. Crucial. An important distinction between life or death, between success and failure.
Obviously, you were no super-soldier. In fact, your eyesight was below average — having to wear contact lenses specifically designed to be as discreet as possible so you weren't a walking lighthouse sending a signal to your postion always — and you could never separate the feelings of foreboding from the foreshadowing of what was to come, the fine line between imagination and intuition blurred.
However, hearing shuffling that others wouldn't, muffled footsteps upstairs that others couldn't, hushed voices around the corner that others would miss, gave you and your team the upper hand.
You weren't the best, but you proved damn useful, more useful than someone that could see in the dark or a person that had some omniscient sixth-sense.
At least your hearing used to be put to good use. Could have been put to good use.
Up to the point when a grenade blew off right beside you on a mission.
No time to realise, no time to react, and no time to recover from the shock, let alone alone to dive for cover, a blast flung you to the side, arms and legs flailing mid-air like a lifeless ragdoll. Time seemed to slow down, and for what felt like an eternity — mere seconds in reality — you were suspended in the air.
Body suddenly thudding on solid ground with a deep thump, you hit your head so hard against the pavement that you had thought you cracked your skull. Debris toppled over your stomach, dust making your eyes tear up and cough painfully, collapsed brick all around you.
You groaned in agony as an ear-splitting ringing inside your head nearly broke your forehead in two.
You couldn't raise your limbs, body limp and weighed down by what felt like a tonne, but could feel the thick waterfall of blood through the open wound on the side of your head; staining your uniform, streaming into your mouth, the metallic taste and smell on your tongue and in your nostrils.
Confusion, disorientation. Bewilderment.
Seeing double, figures running to and fro looked like a dozen, and panic stiffened you.
Desperate blinking eyes squinting to try and make sense of the scene before you, head spinning and unable to think clearly, struggling to lift the limbs that each weighed a tonne, all you did — all you could do — was lay there. Limp.
No one was nearby to help you, and your anxiety intensified: it was just you, and broken debris to keep you company, all noise muted aside from the high-pitched screeching.
Not much is clear from that incident after that. Memories are hazy and unclear.
All you remember are hands tapping your face, tugging your arm and willing your eyes to focus. Then, those same hands suddenly lugging you up by the scruff of your collar and slinging you over their shoulder. Finding yourself being lifted off by a helicopter, and ultimately passing out in the end.
Medics told you your ear drums were inverted, turned inside out from the force, and ear canal blocked by dust. Thankfully, all you required for the head injury were a few stitches, and you wouldn't suffer any brain damage.
Still, the news of becoming hearingly impaired made your world come crashing down.
Yes, you'd still be able to process sounds, they assured, but not as well as you used to.
An official diagnosis was made, and condolences were given to you, for there was nothing that could be done to fix your hearing. You were practically inoperable as the risk was too high, and you could go permanently deaf if the procedure was to go wrong.
You didn't reveal you having a hearing impairment to anyone — why should you, anyways? Things like this happened, and there were people in your faction that have had it worse.
Besides, it wasn't like you would be permanently deaf or anything, you reasoned, so the only thing to do was keep working.
Like you used to. All things considered you were a good shot, with good aim, with good spatial awareness and reaction times.
You could keep working, keep serving your country.
Yet you didn't work like you used to.
How intensely you stared at people, their face, eyes darting from theirs and their lips, was passed off as you being attentive.
No one would have considered that you were desperately trying to keep up with everyone else, and feeling like you were left behind. To fend for yourself as the world moved in triple speed, while you were still processing your new circumstances.
Of course, no one noticed the change.
And König, for one, sure didn't.
Completely enamored by you, he thought it foolish, really, to be so taken by a soldier, one below him in ranks and younger than him.
Yet, he admired you, was your secret admirer, and let his feelings blind him to what could have been so easy to see.
Well, to onlookers, his admiration for you was far from secret. In fact, it was obvious. Very obvious.
Initially, people joked that you were going to be reprimanded by the Colonel, taught a valuable lesson for some mishap you had committed, when you'd be pulled aside. Not a single one could have forseen König's behaviour towards you.
Stares, only strategically turning his head when you looked in his vague direction. An aura of threat, had it not been for the way his eyes sparkled. Held a particular glint that no one could pinpoint his intentions, and his needing to excuse himself to go to the restroom and not return for half an hour.
Walking behind you, guarding you at all times. Making sure he figuratively — and literally — had your back. A hand that would roam, explore, and push its limits, figuring out how low he would have to go before you broke, before you'd beg for more.
Demonstrating combat moves to you under the pretence that it would help fix your reaction times, all an excuse to be near you, to touch your mid-section and rest his hands on your body for seconds longer than necessary.
Touches that he would commit to memory, that would help him reach his climax behind closed doors at the thought of feeling your bare skin, and the feeling of your clothed body having to suffice.
No, none of it showed intent to humiliate you like they thought he would; rather, it was evident that their Colonel had taken a liking to you. Favoured you among the rest.
Obviously, no one saw the perverted nature behind your interactions, the side that König revelled in.
You always seemed to appreciate the gestures, albeit hesistantly, and would blush up to your ears and would flash him an uncertain yet award-winning smile, one that made blood rush up to his face and lower half as he wondered what other sorts of facial expressions you could be making, and whether that smile would stay if you saw his most intimate self.
However, you rarely paid him any attention afterwards. Would go on about your day, as if he wasn't even there.
Ignored him, as if he wasn't worth your time, or even your acknowledgment.
He'd attempt small-talk with you when you were on your own, trying all he could to find common ground, to keep you interested —or, butt in the conversation when someone else diverted your attention from what should have been on him — but, throughout it all, your facial expression was blank. Like you didn't even recognize him.
Eyebrows furrowed, wondering why your colleague stopped talking, you'd only come to realise that König existed when they'd nudge your side with their elbow, whispered frantically in your ear, and when you turned back around you'd jump up with seemingly exaggerated fright, blushing.
Stuttering and sputtering apologies to your superior with a bowed head, eyes avoiding his, König thought that there was a triumphant smirk that you were hiding, a strut as you walked, back turned as you flaunted your way out of the room in a mischievous manner.
Teasing, testing the waters to see how long you could go on without admitting that he was there next to you, to see how long König would last before he broke.
Oh, the things that you were doing to him.
Fury brewed in König, and he'd stew over your (his) one-sided interactions, your blatant ignorance of him, your complete disregard of him. Regarding him as not worth your time, and seemingly ignoring him with an air of superiority.
So imprudent, so rude, and such a daring little thing. So fucking naughty.
Contradicting urges of wanting to yank you by the collar into a passionate kiss in front of anyone and everyone and marking you as his in his private quarters became near impossible to contain. To put you in your place, and prove that you weren't all that that you made yourself out to be.
After all, brats like you had to be tamed, and König would not stand you demeaning his ego like that.
Reprimands from unsuspecting soldiers got harsher. Spitting at others in a rasping voice, barking commands loudly from the background. Drills became a living nightmare — everyone a target for König's relentless bullying. Sparring became relentless, and damn-near a deadly duel as he was unrelenting, remorseless.
König needed to release his pent-up frustration somehow.
König hated that his love was unreciprocated, and would be in a bad temper, stomping around the grounds looking for an inferior to abuse.
He loathed how you made him feel, yet loved what you made him feel, his feelings intensifying when you were in eyesight, and the knuckles of his fists turning white, shaking with rage as you frolicked off with some dummkopf, some piece of shit saukerl that didn't pay attention to you like he did, not considering the higher-ranking alternative.
Figuratively speaking: as, let's face it, König was the full package; and literally speaking, as he had a full package of his own to satisfy your every need, and would convert you to his lover in an instant.
You were an enigma. König couldn't read you at all, and was in internal turmoil.
Why couldn't he win you over? Were you really that high-maintenance, or playing hard to get?
You had to like him back. There was no way you weren't doing this on purpose.
Were you really that unbothered? Unbothered by his advances, not caring at all?
Or, were you really just proud, too full of yourself to pay respect to your superiors?
Really, König should have taught you a personal lesson if that had been the case, one so personal you'd learn to never disrespect him ever again, and be as respectful as a little darling as ever.
...Yet you? You couldn't have been more oblivious.
Sensing a presence in the background as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone, you only became vaguely aware of something off about König when you realised the intensity of a stranger's stare, bearing down on your neck.
Glare. König's glaring at you from afar, camouflaged in the corner by the shadow of the dimly-lit room, the few flickering light bulbs all the more unnerving.
Only in close proximity did you become aware of your Colonel, imposing even while sitting down, tall even with his being hunched over.
Accidentally meeting the eyes behind the veil draped over his face, he unapologetically took up as much space in the room as he could, back straightened to his full height and long legs wide spread apart in an act of dominance.
Those eyes pierced yours, and made you shiver, all intentions of small-talk drying in your throat and, in fear of becoming tongue-tied and losing your cool, you said nothing.
Why was he just... staring at you like that? Did you do something wrong?
It made you shudder, and you shivered, trying to shake off the ominous feeling.
Never in a million years would you have thought that König had any sexual romantic interest in you — if anything, with that grim expression you'd have thought he'd had a bone to pick with you.
He looked absolutely terrifying. A beast of a man, with penetrating eyes.
Unbeknownst to you, König was undressing you with those same eyes. Penetrating, yes, but imagining scenarios where he himself would he penetrating you.
He made himself so inviting, with the spot on his lap reserved as a seat especially for you, reclining on a chair with a head in his palm as he gazed at you in interest.
He even considered making a gesture with his hand, a beckoning finger signalling for you to "Come here", just to make it loud and clear that he was welcoming you, and wanted you exactly where he had positioned himself.
Until some soldier entered the room, saw you and hit you up, starting casual banter and exchanging sarcastic remarks, which made you laugh. The tension melting in your body, you allowed yourself to relax, and forgot about what was looming in the very same room.
To König, the man was flirting with you, and with the way you had a hand clasped over your mouth, practically swooning over the guy, it was solidified.
Grinding his teeth in frustration, he jolted upright, and the chair he was sat on was nearly flung backwards from his sudden action, a deafening screech echoing in the room.
Two pairs of eyes on him, he beckoned the man over to him:
"Come here. I have a duty for you, sergeant."
Only this time, he wasn't at all inviting, and even the man beside you knew he was in for it big time with how König's fury was seething.
"Toilettendienst, weil du ein Stück Scheiße bist."
Cackling, and a sly, venomous smile under his veil. "I'm sure you'll love it, seeing as you can't mind your own business."
Your encounters with König were terrifying, but you tried with all your might to keep them out of your mind. After all, you were still struggling to get by, so to be so on edge would only make matters for you worse.
Having people repeat what they said to you over and over again was passed off as bad signal or static over walkie-talkies, yet without being able to read their lips you were practically deaf and couldn't interpret the gargling, speech drowned by the feeling of your head being underwater.
However, you managed. Managed to keep afloat, somehow. Clung on to your life raft, despite the crashing waves of the tide that flung you from side to side.
And, lulled into a false sense of security, you were contracted for another mission.
Just like before, and on all the other missions before all the ones before your injury, all seemed to be going smoothly.
No sudden movements, no noises out of the ordinary. Nothing amiss.
Except, suffocating silence had shifted and pushed its weight down against you, swirling and following your movements as it had slowly tied a noose around you and your crew's necks, making it difficult to breathe.
But you shrugged it off. You rationalised your nerves as post-morbid jitters. No way was it a gut feeling.
It was unusual how well things were going, and was second-guessing yourself after not having had been deployed in ages.
Your guessing proved to be true, and it was a shame that you realised this too late.
Ambushed out of nowhere, bullets and blood were all that you saw; blasts and bangs were all that you heard.
No one escaped unscathed. Every single one of the operators had sustained some sort of injury, yours minor scratches compared to gaping bullet wounds, stabs in the abdomen, and broken bones.
Intense guilt plagued you for hours, days afterwards, and you were unable to look those colleagues in the eyes for days, weeks afterwards.
How could you let that happen?
Clawing up the ranks until you were finally trusted, finally deemed worthy, it shook you to your very core that you failed to forsee any of this. Failed your colleagues. Failed.
No one blamed you, because they didn't connect the dots that you were the common denominator behind both incidents, the one that catastrophically failed your allies.
König, seeing you in your most vulnerable state, pounced at the opportunity to finally confront you once and for all. To settle the doubts in his mind and come to a solid conclusion.
He wasted no time in hunting you down as you were walking, alone, a predatory look in his eyes.
At last, cornering you in a remote area where no one would interrupt, nor allow you weasle your little way out of it again:
"King."
You dropped your head, avoiding his gaze. Readying yourself for the severe scolding, being berated by König, you dropped your head, cowering below him.
"Before you say anything—" mumbling under your breath, "—I will admit this myself first."
"I... I messed up. Messed up completely on this mission. I'm— I'm so sorry for endangering your men, for nearly getting the entire crew killed. It was my fault."
König's eyes widened a little. This was the most you had ever said to him in one conversation. And you sounded so... sincere.
...Could he have had the wrong perception of you all along? Were you just... Timid? Shy? Maybe a little bit introverted even, and not one for socialising?
No, that couldn't have been right.
He needed to interrogate you, press you for information, put you under pressure. You'd break then, and he'd finally figure out the truth for himself.
"Ja," he spat shortly, voice unwavering and eyes betraying no emotions. "You did mess up. My men are all injured."
You were mortified when all you could interpret was harsh gibberish. None of the words made sense to you, and you couldn't differentiate any consonants from the syllables.
You breathed in deeply, feeling so foolish for thinking of asking this, and prepared yourself for the worst:
"Sorry, sir? Can you repeat that?"
König was the one to be bewildered this time. For a few agonisingly long moments, he needed to process what you had just said. Your request.
Finally, it sank in.
Oh, you were in for it now.
What did you mean "Sorry, sir?"?
You ignored him, have been ignoring him for all this time, and you had the gall to give him attitude?
Worst of all, to fail to pay attention when he is was scolding you?
No. König wasn't having it.
Both hands slammed against the wall above you, with such a force that even you could hear a deep crack of splintering brick.
With you trapped, he wasn't about to let you go until you learned your place.
"You're not going to say anything anything more, maus?" He leans in closer, steel-blue eyes betraying no emotion baring into yours. "Pip-squeak has lost its voice, has it? You really should learn manners."
Understanding "...going to say anything more, maus?... Pip-squeak... should learn manners" it was enough for you to understand what he was implying, and you were confused. In disbelief. Bewildered.
"S-sir, I—! "
Eyes wide, you shook your head vehemently, hands held up in protest. "—It's not like that at all! I swear!"
König quirked a brow, leaning in closer. Licked his lips inquisitively, curious to hear your defence.
"I've not... been ignoring you, sir. Never. I wouldn't ever do that..."
You trailed off, averting your gaze. "...Or, at least, consciously..."
You bit your lip. Shifting uncomfortably, your fingers fidgeted, fingernails digging into the palm of your hand. How were you going to explain this?
"Y-you see, I'm—"
Bracing yourself, you breathed in deeply.
"—I-I'm— I'm actually hard of hearing."
König blinked twice. It was his turn to be confused, and he pulled away a few inches, concentrating hard.
Seeing the blank look in his eyes, you immediately clarified:
"N-not deaf, obviously! — I suppose I can still hear, in a way — but my hearing is not good. I struggle to understand people."
A defeated sigh. "Communication is tough enough because I'm not good at reading lips yet, and..."
"...with you, it is — would — have been impossible, because of the—"
A weak gesture towards his face covering "—mask..."
An awkward pause.
"L-look sir, I'm sorry for ignoring you. Honestly, I never meant to. It's just I—"
"Never heard," König said, nodding faintly. "I understand."
He understood, alright. Understood what a moron he had been all this time.
God, what a fool he was.
All this time, concocting scenarios of finding a way to prove himself to you, of asserting his authority, of sexually frustrated evenings considering all the possibilities, all personality traits... was all one-sided pining.
Poor thing, you were just oblivious.
He couldn't blame you, and was kicking himself for viewing you as anything other than a pure soul.
If he had known this, known of your condition earlier, perhaps he wouldn't have been so frustrated, so confrontational.
Now, he had ruined all his chances with you by intimidating you out of nowhere.
God, he was such an idiot.
Embarrassed, and not knowing what to say, he sheepishly slid his hands off the wall.
Coughing twice, he cleared his voice, and projected his voice so it was clearer and louder:
"King."
You looked up, face showing shame and genuine guilt.
"Gut. Keep looking at me."
To your surprise, König's hand was reaching up to his veil, fingers hooking under the the hem.
In a prolongued but fluid movement, the fabric was pulled up, and, slowly, slowly, he revealed his face.
His white chin and stubbled jawline came into view first. Only slightly defined, not modelled after some Greek God, yet not lacking definition, either.
Then, thin lips, pale pink and pressed into a tight line.
A hooked nose, crooked likely from it being broken more than once before, neither long nor large nor flat. Perhaps slightly off-center.
Keeping the fabric in place, he would not raise it higher.
After a few seconds of silence, you saw how his Adam's apple moved when he gulped, his lips quivering as he breathed in deeply.
Even seeing the half of his face, he looked handsome to you.
"Well... is this better?"
Mouth moving to reveal white teeth, some misshappen and others crowded, it looked as if he had never worn braces before.
He swallowed thickly, then his hot breath fanned your face, mouth partly-open as he panted in increasing agitation.
Blue-gray eyes looked into yours, no longer domineering. Instead, pleading.
Wanting your affirmation, to be reassured that you would appreciate him partly presenting his identity to you, the most vulnerable part of him.
To be told that you truly did appreciate this gesture after all.
A smile tugged at your lips. "Yes. Much better, sir."
You were touched.
To think, that your commander, your Colonel, the big, beefy, burly man, the masked soldier of towering stature, would go out of his way to be sensitive. To be at the mercy of you.
It made you tear up a little. No one had ever gone out of their way to accommodate you like this, and it left you at a loss for words.
"Sir, I—"
"Nein. Call me König."
Cleared throat. "König, sir—"
A devillish smirk formed on his face, and he shook his head.
"Gott, such a sweet little thing," he cooed, purposefully slowing down his speech so you could interpret it on your own. "Will need to have you getting used to you saying my name, ja?"
Those steel blue eyes had melted. Were warm. Held a fondness in them that he hadn't had before — or, maybe they had, but you had never noticed it until now — either way, you felt at ease with him. With König.
One of your biggest mistakes.
"Thank you, König. Really. For being so patient."
Rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly, you shot him a bashful, lopsided grin.
"I'm sorry that you had to be patient in the first place! I wish I could make it up to you, König. I really do."
König's mind flashed with blasphemous images of you.
Images that he had visualised in vivid detail, when he had been longing for you, longing to have you around him.
He was almost regretting what he had on his mind, yet, he reasoned, it was only fair you gave him a reward.
For his patience.
The smirk on his face became broader. Serpentine.
"Don't you worry, meine liebe. I know of a way."
A cackle, sounding forced and a little too loud to be genuine.
"I'll make sure that you'll be loud enough so that even you can hear it for yourself."
...
Note: i promised yesterdag id get thus oit today ... 🥹Bit late cuz at the time im typimg this ntoe its 22:33 (gonna be later once i proofread this for the final time😫😫) Edit: its 23:25 and i have a test tmr hahaHHhahahahAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA 😍😍😍😍
Hope yoi guys like perverted König �� i for one do 😇😇 (fyi, it was NOT MT INTENTION to write him in this wau I PROMISW😭😭😭😭😭it just sorta happened and i rolled witj it ☠️💀)
#aking10592_ ≛彡#könig#konig#könig cod#konig cod#könig call of duty#konig call of duty#könig mw2#konig mw2#könig mwii#konig mwii#könig modern warfare#konig modern warfare#könig fanfiction#konig fanfiction#könig x you#konig x you#könig x reader#konig x reader#könig x fem reader#konig x female reader#könig x male reader#konig x male reader#könig x gn reader#könig x gender neutral reader#konig x gn!reader
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@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅
but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.
here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them
(note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)
join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half
say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.
running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg
what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty
please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful
ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.
nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??
flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel
bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure
angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.
the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why
all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt
ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)
me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries
time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's
ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd
lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty
across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭
....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard
(note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)
no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm
what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one
sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.
who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.
the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen
AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind
matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason
providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)
earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰
what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more
starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖
a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad
duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.
ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq
différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊
oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!
and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao
#kinda hesitant to post this#but i think i put too much work into it not to so#here we go <3#good omens#good omens au#ritz rambles#long post
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A Good Man - Obispo 'Bishop' Losa x Reader
Tagging: @witches-unruly-heart @annetje @anime-weeb-4-life @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @the-wandering-lunatic @alwaysachorusgirl @vannabanana1995 @beardedbarba @multifandomloversworld @camelia35 @queeniesdiary @est1887 @lilvampirina @creativitybeware @genius2050 @gracerosaleigh @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @kishie8 @saltyunicorn079 @nessamc @spaghettificationandpretzels @yikes-myguy @corruptedcoffin @nu1freakshow @lyly00 @oureternalbond @rubes2323 @samanthaofanarchy
You used to be a librarian once upon a time, that’s where Bishop remembers you from, Tummy Time at the library on Saturdays. You used to run a couple of groups he attended, you’d orchestrated the Gruffalo Walk, which included kids following the costumed beast around the library into areas decorated with cardboard trees and paper. He remembers standing next to you, his eyes on Aidan and a smile on his face as his little boy toddled after the creature.
It's been eight years since his son died and he still feels the loss as if it happened this morning.
The library has closed since then, the building still stands empty near the centre of town, windows smashed, and graffiti sketched onto the walls of the building. He knows some of the local kids tell each other ghost stories and sneak in there to get high.
“What happened?” he asks as he stands with you inside one of the empty rooms inside the community centre. He has his toolbox with him today, one that he keeps in the closet in the hall.
He’s been coming around ever since that night with Mari, fixing up odds and ends around the place. It keeps his head out of a bottle and helps him put some good back out into the world, he hadn’t realised just how much this town had gone to shit in the past couple of years. Through you he’s learned that outreach services have been cut right back, that the free clinics are buckling under the weight of the need and that the kids in this town are running amok because they have no place to go because their parents are working two or three jobs to put food down on the table.
You’re trying to change all of that just a little at a time.
“What always happens. The funding got cut.” You tell him as you step back to let him work. He’s helping you put up some shelving today. You intend to turn one of the larger rooms into a children’s library, the makeshift one you’ve trialled has proved to be popular and you require more space. You’ve scheduled Lego clubs, Storytimes and parental socialisation groups, because being a parent can be isolating and you believe that talking to other people in similar circumstances saves lives. Infant First Aid is being run by Stitches out of function rooms near the back of the building. You’re transforming this space into a community hub; a place people can feel connected again.
It's a worthy cause but you have to fight to make it happen. He’s been here late at night, plastering a wall while you’ve been drafting funding application after funding application, trying to make shit happen. It’s a relentless task, you’re a hands-on person, you prefer getting involved and being around people, but the paperwork is a necessary evil even if it is relentless.
You’re a tenacious woman, he likes that, he likes you. He likes the shit, you gave someone called Brad from City Council, when he tried to decline your application for Food Bank vouchers for a couple of families you’ve been helping to support. He likes the fact you actually take the time to sit with someone in their moment of crisis and hear them out over a tea or a coffee. He likes the fact you aren’t afraid to get messy, getting down in the dirt with the kids when they’re trying to fish their soccer ball out of a bush, or rolling up your sleeves to wash the dishes after a support group for victims of sexual assault.
He loves the other shit you do; the stuff you think he doesn’t see. He knows you’re helping illegals under the radar, signposting them to charities that can help with their particular predicaments. He knows you go on border runs, helping people who are escaping from the violence in Mexico, preventing them from falling victim to people like Alice Reed and the Reed Coalition, who would rather see them dead. You think it’s your best kept secret but he’s onto you. Your group has approached Riz before today about working the fence on his land, he’s caught a glimpse of you a couple of times whilst he’s been out at Vicki’s.
There’s silence as he works, he’s lost in his thoughts while you’re consulting the plans you’ve drawn up for the new library. He peers over your shoulder at the A4 piece of paper in your hands, a crude mock design you’ve drawn up for one of the walls. It takes him back to that place nine years ago, the library with the forest painted onto the interior, a safe space that kids could go to read books and play.
“One of my guys could probably do that.” He tells you, his hand coming to rest upon your shoulder, his thumb skating over the nape of your neck. You sigh under his touch, the tension ebbing from your shoulders. “Creeper’s a real artist, he works in black and white mainly but his girl, she’s got an eye for colour. The club can donate the paint when you sign off on their work.”
“Obispo, you’ve already done so much...” You tell him as you turn around to face.
He shakes his head vehemently.
“The work you’re doing here, it’s important. If the club can donate a little time and money, trust me we’re happy to do it.”
The look on your face makes his heart ache because there’s such gratitude in your features and it shouldn’t be like that. All of this stuff should be given freely. You shouldn’t have to beg and fight and scrape together all the tiny pieces of that you need to make something like this happen.
“You’re a good man.” You tell him and he laughs because not once in his life has anyone ever accused him of that.
“Yea well…” he smiles as a blush raises to his cheeks. “Let’s keep that our secret.”
Big Fan of Bishop?! Get added to his tag list!
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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the internet is so overtly hostile to kids and young people. commercialisation and profit margins killed off the places younger kids were safe and welcome to be in, creeps and those seeking to goad people towards extremism took over those spaces designated for teens.
There is no safe place. Every time i see a 14 year old on twitter, I see them being told to get off the platform. It’s not safe, it’s not for you. And that’s entirely correct, twitter is not a safe place for a 14 year old, but where is? Tumblr? not really. Club penguin? it’s dead. Community forums? not really a thing anymore. Discord? not without that teen being very aware of their safety and how to look after themselves, at which point they may as well have stuck to twitter.
Like it or not, it’s the job of every single one of us to make a space that is safe for teens. Doesn’t mean you have to be kid friendly, just means you need to take reasonable precautions that your not-kid-friendly content stays in your space, that they can’t accidentally come across it. Content warnings, censoring/spoilering posts, possibly avoiding the main tags for a thing if that topic is child friendly and your art is not. stuff like that. Like if young people are likely to search for stuff like lego, maybe don’t put your nsfw bionicle ship art into the general lego tag, stuff like that.
It’s your job to keep an eye out for your fellow humans. If you see a young person they you know displaying signs that they’re possibly being harassed/groomed/generally made uncomfortable/not doing well, make sure they have a safe person to speak to. You don’t have to be that safe person, you just need to make sure there’s someone who can listen to them.
If you see a kid doing something they really shouldn’t be, it’s on you to explain why they shouldn’t be doing that. Don’t berate them, don’t attack them for it. Explain, help them to understand why that’s concerning to you. We all know internet safety classes in schools are pretty rubbish, usually super outdated. I did a child safety course like two years ago that still included tips on building a safe myspace page. School isn’t going to teach kids about the immediate issues on todays internet, it’s on the community around them to guide them and look out for them.
Also playground humour is fine, just be aware when you’re joining in to not take it too far or make it weird. And bear in mind that even just by virtue of being a couple of years older than whatever young person you’re talking to, there’s a power imbalance in that conversation. Don’t encourage playground humour to the point of making it an entirely inappropriate topic. Your the one guiding this conversation, steer it in the right direction.
And if you see someone being weird towards any minor, wether you know them or not, call that shit out. Let it be known that someone is keeping an eye out, let that kid know that they’re welcome and they’re looked out for. Let that creep know that people see them, and people are very, very aware of what they’re doing. Make them feel unwelcome, run them out of your spaces, spread awareness of risky people. Keep your spaces safe.
This is all especially as important as IRL spaces become more hostile to potentially vulnerable young people. Queer teens especially are going to be looking for community and safety online more and more frequently. Make sure that the places they find will be a respite from the real world, not just a different set of threats to navigate.
Make sure young people feel safe on the internet, and make sure that those looking to take advantage of their presence, don’t.
Why am i writing all this? I’ve seen too many posts about people’s experiences as a young person online, and i talked to my brother the other day about him and his friend’s experiences and it’s terrifying that there’s really nowhere for young people to go. Also i’ve realised that i’m not doing enough to be part of the solution. so this is part of that, im gonna be far, far more aware of the issue and doing more to try and help.
#internet safety#This post brought to you by seeing several communities on twitter oust dodgy people the last few days#no beef with bionicle fans btw i just couldn’t think of another example
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// oc in 15.
tagged by; @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!
tagging; @reaperkiller, @vvanessaives, @hibernationsuit, @katsigian, @adelaidedrubman, @dickytwister, @rindemption, @noirapocalypto and YOU!
rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an oc, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the oc. bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!
decided to do this for vincent since he is the main character of my cyberpunk universe and it's been a hot sec since i talked about him! these bits are all from various fics including the broker which is a long fic that i'll never shut up about. sorry. i've included more than just the dialogue since a lot of vincent's manner of speech is also in his body language and internal monologue :^) his voice claim is basically masc v from in-game but with very distinct southern flair
from chapter 7 of the broker:
‘Here we are,’ Vincent repeated, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket and flinching lightly when he heard an explosion in the distance. ‘Just another fuckin’ day in Night City.’
from an unreleased fic i still need to finish and post:
‘The Deckhead?' Vincent asked. 'Fried to a crisp. Found ‘im hooked up to the Net high off his tits- he had an intruder alarm set up but it caused him to panic, ‘n he disconnected himself too soon. Lights went out before I could do anything.’
paraphrased from this fic, showing that vincent can and will talk to johnny out loud whenever he wants:
‘What the fuck,’ Vincent blurted out, voice shaky as he took another step back. […] Johnny raised a hand and gestured vaguely at Vincent, and himself, and the space between them. ‘You don’t have to speak out loud when you- I feel like I’ve said this before.’
from an unreleased fic:
‘Maelstrom wasn’t too happy I was running off with their toys,’ Vincent answered, eyes lingering on the bruise on Vitali’s face. ‘Had to flatline half of ‘em before I could get out.’
from chapter 11 of the broker:
‘Peachy,’ Vincent said and gave him a thumbs up. His mantis blade was still deployed and he nearly cut himself with it.
from chapter 16 of the broker:
‘Right.’ He stepped back, visibly biting the inside of his cheek as his eyes wandered off into the rest of the living room and he did a mocking salute in Vitali’s direction. ‘Yessir.’
from chapter 2 of the broker:
‘Pleased to make your acquaintance?’ Vincent said, the sentence more a question than a statement, and he frowned slightly as he watched Dupoint walk around the desk and sit down opposite of him while unbuttoning the jacket of his slightly too big suit.
from an unreleased fic:
‘Yep, that was me,’ Vincent said in response, his voice suddenly a couple of octaves higher. Smooth talkin’, you fucking airhead. You sound like a damn high schooler.
from this fic, talking to johnny out loud again:
‘Right, ‘cuz apologizing means everything is instantly forgiven and forgotten,’ Vincent snapped, accidentally startling an old lady he passed by; he quickly raised his hand to her as an apology and fastened his pace.
from an unreleased fic:
‘Born ‘n raised in the Glen, yeah,’ Vincent answered, flinching when he noticed the edge of someone’s umbrella get dangerously close to his face. ‘Won’t find the nicest people there but at least they generally know they’re not the only gonk on the fucking road.’
from this fic:
‘Headache that comes and goes-’ Vincent paused and glared at Johnny. ‘- but yeah, peachy. And you’re right. Worrying doesn’t help anyone.’
from chapter 2 of the broker:
‘V has had a lot of things on his mind, as of late,’ Vincent dryly said. ‘Please do enlighten me.’
from this fic, talking to johnny out loud again:
‘Alright, speaking rights fucking revoked,’ Vincent cut him off, visibly startling Vitali who had just slightly leaned in to Vincent’s touch. ‘Piss off, Johnny. Jesus.’
from chapter 15 of the broker:
Grant Armitage. Some seemingly random Arasaka exec with “his greasy little fingers stuck right up Yorinobu’s golden ass”, as Vincent had described him a few days prior.
from chapter 2 of the broker:
‘A fully opened center.’ Dupoint paused, raised an eyebrow, and glanced back at Vincent. ‘Do you know what that move is called, V?’ Vincent shrugged, and swallowed his laughter. ‘Dunno. The American Nutcracker?’
#tag games#ask:vincent#yes i keep mentioning that he talks to johnny out loud most of the time but it's important for his character i need you to understand#it's funny to watch him startle everyone around him by suddenly starting to speak to johnny out loud. boy you could pretend you're on a cal#also i didn't really know who to tag for this because i'm out of the loop with who writes etc etc so i just grabbed some regulars#but as always feel free to kill me with hammers for whatever reason honestly i won't take it personally
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Can you try a oneshot with a gender neutral shy reader who has a crush on Rise!Leo but they’re not really fond of his over competitive personality? (Really loved the yokai feline!reader you did a while ago so hopefully this isn’t too much of a request ^ v ^; )
Do do do d— OH?? WHATS THIS??
A Request?
*snatches paper*
“Can you try a oneshot with a gender neutral shy reader who has a crush on Rise!Leo but they’re not really fond of his over competitive personality? (Really loved the yokai feline!reader you did a while ago so hopefully this isn’t too much of a request ^ v ^; “
A/n: hooohohooo… YOU! My friend, are a bright mind, I hope I have enough energy for this one *cracks knuckles* (ALSO TY!! IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT >v<)
———
Priorities. (A Oneshot)
—
Warnings(?): Leo being a dumbass, slight angst? Idk yet.
—-
A perfect night, it was.
Leo, sitting in his beanbag. you, right next to him in your own, the little puffs pushed against each other.. your favorite movie on the television — well, favorite Jupiter Jim movie. Leo was pointing out all the little details that you had grown to notice but wouldn’t mention, noting how his eyes sparkled as he ranted about it. A soft smile appeared on your face, your heart gently fluttering at his antics.
It was hard to get Leo to sit down and actually watch something - especially something he knew inside and out, so you couldn’t exactly blame him when he would do sit ups, stretch, refill popcorn, or even just wave his hands around anxiously. You didn’t mind. What you did mind, however…
“Tag!!” Mikey swooped in unnoticed from his late night out, bonking his brother on the head and scrambling to get away. “Oh no you did not!!” Leo laughed, jumping up from his seat and knocking over one of the empty popcorn bowls. You paused the movie, leaning back with a sigh. There was no telling how long this one would last.
As you watched your favorite boy run around with Mikey, you couldn’t help but wish he could prioritize you a little more.. but then again, it’s not like you were in a relationship or anything.. It hurt to think about, but it was true. As you lounged in the projector room, watching the two scramble on the upper levels, you heard a scoff from next to you.
You nearly flew out of your seat as you saw Raph, practically looming over you but staring at his brothers as well. “JEsus…” you breathed, a hand over your heart - which you were SURE had just jumped to outer space - where the astronaut on the projector was.
The red-clad turtle didn’t seem to notice, in a world of his own. He was grumbling to himself, something about ‘manners’ and ‘how to treat someone’… and then you heard something that made your ears perk up —- ‘Leo’.
At the idea of asking him about said turtle in blue, your hands felt clammy, yourthroat constricting and mouth like the Sahara desert, but you had to try. “Raph..?” You squeaked, just loud enough to get the gentle giant’s attention. “Huh?” He snapped out of his tizzy, giving you his full attention “what’s up, Y/n?”
You opened your mouth, closed it, then opened it again, searching for the words as your mind went blank. Cmon Y/n, think! God!… was it always so hot in here..?
“Uh.. well— what you — hh— talk- THINKin about, Raph?” A weak chuckle escaped your throat as you mustered that sentence, your cheeks warm with embarrassment. Unfortunately for you, Raph caught on really fast, giving you one of his knowing, big-brother smiles. “Oh, you know...” He waltzed on over, casually sitting in his pops’ recliner chair, “Just how horribly Leo treats his dates.”
Can you say.. Rojo? :D THAT means Red in Spanish!! As well as your face once he said that. ♡ :)
“Date?? Woah- hah- this wasn’t— I mean.. heh.. he didn’t- I wasn’t—“ grasping for excuses, you felt yourself slowly sink further into your beanbag, ashamed at how badly you were trying to play this off. Raph shook his head, laughing to himself, “Please, he practically rented the projector room for you two! If you can’t tell from that, then you two really are hopeless.”
You hid your face completely now, too embarrassed to even think about denying it anymore. “Hopeless? I beg to differ.”
Oh no.
You knew that cocky voice anywhere.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to turn around, but unfortunately.. curiosity killed the Y/n. Turning your head, you saw none other than Leo right above you, his arms at either side of your beanbag- preventing escape. He looked down at you, smile never fading, “Hi there~”
“H— how much—?” You gulped on your words, anxiety crawling up your throat, “how much of that did you hear..?”
Leo shrugged, “not too much, actually” his smile dropped , “just Raph ratting me out.” He grumbled, giving his brother a glare before turning back to you with a smile. “I won, by the way!” Beaming, he completely missed your demeanor change, feeling one of disappointment as he left your side. “I beat Mikey at tag! Aren’t I cool?” He chuckled, before perking up— hearing one of his brothers call his name.
And just like that, he left your side, hands behind his head without a care in the world. He was leaving you! Again! You couldn’t help the disappointed sigh lurking in your throat as he welcomed his brother in purple back home, asking if they wanted to compete to see who could eat the most pizza at Run-Of-the-Mill.
“You know, when we were kids and I wanted Leo to sit still..” Raph leaned over your shoulder, talking quiet as to not alert anyone.. including you. “I would just lay on top of him, but I guess you can’t really do that… so I can only wonder what the alternative is..” He mused, leaving you to your thoughts as he walked to the kitchen.
Leo moseyed back into the projector room, collapsing onto his beanbag with a huff. “Donton just wanted help unloading groceries.” he muttered, disappointed, and this time, you weren’t able to stop the sigh from leaving your lips.
Your eyes snapped open, knowing damn well he wouldn’t miss a chance to point that out.
“Hold on.” He sat up, looking at where you now hid your face. “Was- was that a sigh?” He chirped in surprise, analyzing your anxious form. “No way.” He squinted, trying to tell if he was dreaming. “Y/n, shy Y/n. Who’s too nervous to tell the cashier they got the wrong change — just sighed, at me.” He half laughed, actually impressed, “Donnie owes me 20 bucks.”
You grumbled at the last comment, mixed feelings on the fact that he competed on you.
“So~” he smiled, scooting closer and leaning in, “What did I do to upset my Y/n this bad?” Usually, Leo avoided conflict like the plague, but seeing how flustered you were, he could only hope it was because you were jealous. And boy did he know how to fix that.
Fire was climbing up your throat, you couldn’t tell if it was frustration or the flustered feeling he had given you from calling you his. Maybe it was a bit of both. “God you— you’re such a—“ you covered your face, yelling into your hands with all your might.
Cold hands gently pulled your wrists away from your face, revealing Leo sitting in front of you calmly, waiting for you to express your thoughts the way you wanted to. Words echoed in your head, giving you a reckless, stupid idea.
“You know, when I wanted Leo to sit still…”
You couldn’t— you were sure you would die. Immediately. Just die right there and never come back from the pits of HathSin. But.. before you knew it, your hands had wrapped around the back of his head, pulling him in to a gentle hug. You couldn’t stop yourself as you nuzzled your face into his shoulder, grip tight as you could only hope he didn’t push you away. “I just wanted you to stay with me.” You muttered, eyes fluttering closed. You were ready to accept the disgust, the anger, the pain at losing your best friend. You felt hot tears prick your eyes, fear consuming you as you heard…
….
Churrrrrr….
…
What? What was that?
Finally pulling back, you caught a glimpse of Leo’s cherry red blush, hidden under his blue bandana. He seemed shocked at both your and his own actions. Because of the noise, you hadn’t even noticed his hand coming back to graze your spine, wanting to hug you back— you only noticed how he pulled away, head in his hands as he scolded himself. “Are you kidding me? Now? Yeah that’s real charming, Leo. Way to ruin the moment, dumbass..”
Him! Flustered! Now you were both breaking the laws of physics.
———-
I HOPE THATS SOMETHING LIKE WHAT YOU WANTED OKAY GOODBYE 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃💨💨💨
#ROTTMNT#ROTTMNT x reader#ROTTMNT Leo#Regrettable requests#regrettable writing#rise of the tmnt#Leonardo x reader#ROTTMNT Leonardo#rottmnt leo x reader
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Re: https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738859016693874688/why-do-some-popular-things-have-such-small & the person who replied to it in Another ask about Slay The Princess --
This answer was a facinating read as someone currently in the James Cameron's Avatar fan space -- i was only 8/9 when the first movie came out, and wasnt very into fandom Yet, but around the early 2010's when i Did get into it and went looking, there was almost Nothing to be found (and the few that Did exist were either short character studies written by some of the smartest people on the planet or troll fics), less than a 1,000 Total in the media tag on ao3 iirc?? And i remember feeling Fine with that, for the exact readon you both mentioned -- the first Avatar is a very well rounded film, no matter what everyone cares to say about it. It was Written to be a stand alone film, and bc JC is good at what he does, that Worked, and there truly wasnt much to write fic about besides Extreme au shenanigans or a few theoretic between-scenes, you know the type.
Then the second movie came out Last year and then the Game came out THIS and the fandom has just. Exploded. It's almost funny because so many of the younger fans, who were in it for x readering with the Sully kids, keep complaining about how "the fandom is dying 😭😭" in the tags the past few months and i just have to stare at it like pal just because we're not still shooting metaphorical fireworks about how much we loved the sequel and game doesnt mean we've all Moved On 😩 Im still Diligently mpregging the resurrected villain in my new longform crack fic thats probably going to be finished around the time the 5th movie comes out. Wee child you must Power through with us. Increase Your Fandom Stamina 💪😎🏃♂️!!!
But yeah it's just been Extremely interesting seeing how drastically things have changed, going from that completed, hard-to-write Wholeness from how compact the first film was vs the Flood of worldbuilding and lore and new characters we've been given (and have yet to Get, there may be some evil f/f fics beyond the horizon...) and how much the Sequel has contributed in the process of making Avatar easier to enjoy Casually, rather than as a "stereotypical", "extreme" strawman'd Avatar fan of yor (our elders who i respect most vehemently, for their help in understanding and writing the Na'vi conlang in all our fics 💪❤).
Even though the canon movies have a lot of problems, ive been luckiy enough to see the Fandom do what its always done best -- ive met wonderful people and Incredible artists while the life experience + background knowledge who can flesh out the areas of the concept that JamCam has yet to delve into, for whatever reasons he claims to have, and ive And others have felt moved enough by it all to start writing our Own incredibly self indulgent and sincere stories, within the same framework! Bc good lord it really is a sandbox. The moment you start diving into all the Implications of Avatar's universe, how the RDA is run, how Eywa works, etc etc etc.... jesus. ive lost so many hours of sleep reading real academic papers on Actual xenobiology (yes its a real thing, it both is And isnt what you think it is) for these movies, its nuts.
So some days like Now i just have to sit here like. Wow. We built this house And made it a home. and its Awesome. these asks made me want to gush about it 🥰 thats all! tysm!! Love this blog SO much, keep up the great work n have an awesome day everyone!!!
--
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First off thank u SO MUCH to everyone in that post going "tag me too pls!" Im writing this for u i love u :) it makes me happy that so many people were interested in this concept.
This fic will be available on AO3, but whenever a new chapter comes out I will post the new ao3 link with the chapter under a readmore cut.
Hope you guys enjoy the prologue!
Strontium Nitrate and a Colt .45 prologue
Warnings: family death
A violent, cracking storm whirls in Eddie as he watches his ex-wife be lowered into the earth by 4 men on either side of her coffin. The flowers on the top shift precariously white, blue, yellow and red popping out against the dark wood grain, but they remain on as it clunks onto the ground. It shouldn't be so bright. The sun wasn't supposed to be shining the day he had to put his wife into the ground.
It's all he can do to just keep his hand firm on Christopher's shoulder to not cry, and scream, and run towards that fucking hole and dig her back up, begging her to come back to life in his arms. There were a million and one ways Eddie had expected Shannon to die one day. An accident by a stranger's hand hadn't been one of them. There were so many dangers he had to account for in his every day life, he was bound to slip up at one point. Bound to lose someone he cared about to a stupid mistake.
He's numb through the reception, fingers gripping the sides of his own sleeves so hard he has to peel them off from stiffness, and he's vacant through his family asking him question after question. He doesn't know how to answer if he's ok in front of people who are expecting him to be strong, expecting him to be the man of the house when his son just lost his mother, when he wishes more than anything he was lying in that coffin next to her.
When he can't stomach the pleasantries any longer, he takes Chris home. It's obvious the kid's had enough poking and prodding, and the silence is blessed. He checks the rearview mirror, and not five minutes after they pull out of the reception hall, Chris is drooling with his head against the window. The brunette smiles forlornly. He can see so much of Shannon in him, always had been able to, but now it felt like every trait of hers on him is more pronounced.
He wakes Chris up when they reach home, and Eddie has to stand in the doorway for a second to wait for his ears to adjust to the ringing quiet, when he's been around so much noise all day. Who knew funerals could be so loud. It definitely wasn't helped by the static rushing so loud in Eddie's ears he had to strain to hear other people talking at him. But now neither of them can bother to bring their voices above a whisper.
"Go get ready for bed, kiddo. I'll be there in a minute." He ushers Chris off to do his nightly chores and steps in to flick the kitchen light on. He sighs, leaning his elbows on the counter and his face into his hands. He musses his hair, and rubs down his face in an attempt to wipe the stress away. He doesn't know how long he'll continue to feel like he's floating, tether-less in space until the emotions of what happened catch up to him. He hopes Chris isn't in the vicinity when it happens.
There's time to figure this all out. Tomorrow. He hears the bathroom door open and close again as Chris shuffles off to his room. He takes his turn in the bathroom, not having enough energy for a full shower even though he feels like he needs it. Instead, he lets the water from the sink run so hot it scalds his finger when he tests it. He pulls out a washcloth from the drawer, soaks it and wrings it out, then wipes his face down of all the grime that doesn't exist. Nevertheless he feels cleaner and a tiny, minuscule weight slides off his shoulders. He finishes his business and shuffles his lead-weighted feet off to his son's bedroom.
Chris is already in his pyjamas and under the covers, his face red and puffy and struggling to keep his eyes open. Eddie sits himself by his legs on the edge of the bed, running a soothing hand through his boy's curls. Neither of them say anything, a lump forming in Eddie's throat and leaving no thoughts in his head when he tries to get something out.
Chris takes the first initiative. "Why did she have to go, daddy?" At first, Eddie doesn't have an answer that's acceptable to a 5 year old. Because bad things happen to good people. Because fuck him, apparently. Fuck him and her and everything he was trying to build for them and fuck God for taking it all away from him. He swallows hard, trying not to gag on his own tear-filled spit as he tries not to let it show on his face.
"Sometimes people do dumb things. And when people do dumb things, others get hurt because of their actions. And this time, someone did something dumb, and mommy was the one who got hurt by their actions." Chris nods sleepily, exhausted and upset. Eddie leans down to give him a kiss on his temple. "Get some sleep kiddo. Come and wake me up if you need anything, but we can figure out more tomorrow, ok?"
"Ok, love you daddy. Night night."
"Night night, buddy."
Tag list: @aniilaff @watchyourbuck @diazlilgirl @weballingsad @whambamthankyousir @passthe5sauceplease @mrslectermoriarty @jeffthekilled
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Chapter 6
ooh...drama.....
also happy 2024. im posting this on new year's eve in my time-zone tho so consider this the last update of 2023
SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY
Some pre-chapter notes:
lovingly named this chapter 'the naegami pre-divorce fight' in my head
was incredibly worried about how the characterization would work out here. shoutout to @moonlighttogami for beta-reading this one!
Byakuya is an asshole here. But it's in-line with how he is in canon anyways
Reminder that this fic is a slow-burn. For both naegami AND togiri. Which includes conflicts abound
Content warning tags: canon-typical assholery from Byakuya, mention of previous character deaths
< previous - from start - next >
Things are quite tense after that.
It doesn’t help that Monokuma has no intentions of taking any of it seriously. He toys with them openly, seemingly delighting in the collective misery. But he at least opens up the next floor and some other facilities, which offers a wide new variety of options to them.
The first floor warehouse and bathhouse are now unlocked. On the newly available second floor, there’s a pool, some more classrooms, and most importantly, a library, though no kind of technology that could access the internet or the outside world. Even despite all that, it’s a welcome change; Byakuya was beginning to grow bored with the routine of the first floor, and the limited spaces he could occupy to eavesdrop on people.
He found painkillers and nausea medication in the first floor warehouse, which was a veritable boon to him. It’s cheap over-the-counter stuff, but he recognizes the obvious branding labels and has Naegi confirm it for him before he takes some bottles for his own use. Naegi also recovers a bottle of eyedrops, which he accepts, though they prove to have no effect whatsoever; at the very least, they made him feel like some progress was being made.
The real treasure trove, however, was the second floor library.
It’s nothing compared to the library in the Togami residence, of course, but it seems that whoever was librarian here at least had good taste. He runs his fingers over smooth leather spines and finds titles that he recognizes, old favorites that he once tore through with eagerness and newer ones that he had always been planning on reading, and even ones that he had never heard of before. He felt almost pleased by it, though it was quickly accompanied by a note of bitterness.
Not like I can read these myself, however. He thinks, clicking his tongue and making Naegi jump besides him. And listening to someone else read was always irritating, especially when he could usually read faster by sight than they could speak. But he has little choice now, as he pulls Naegi to his side.
“Come to my room tonight,” He says in a low voice, with no uncertain terms. Naegi’s face flushes, and he begins to stammer out something ridiculous before Byakuya smacks him lightly over the head with a copy of Tolstoy.
“Don’t get the wrong idea,” He scoffs, pushing a sizable stack into Naegi’s hands. “Go take these to my room. Then come back.”
“Oh, o-okay…” He walks off, tottering a little underneath the weight. He was listless after the trial, gloomy and less responsive, but he still followed orders well enough.
Byakuya watches him go, before turning his attention back to the shelves. Much as he’d hate to admit it, he was loath to be out of Naegi’s company nowadays. The atmosphere after the first death was palpable, thick with tension. Plus, it didn’t help that some certain, purple individuals, had taken up a new interest in stalking him.
One of whom was Fukawa. He’d noticed Ultimate Writer had taken up some kind of habit of following him around, as told by the slightly harrowed sound of her breathing in his general vicinity, and the general smell. And the other of which was Kirigiri, of whose presence he became uncomfortably aware of recently.
Maybe it was their few, clipped conversations with thinly concealed aggression. Or maybe it was simply her actions during the trial, which now put her at the forefront of attention - she had gone from being someone who the others were prone to forgetting, to a sort of secondary leader. Someone whose advice was asked for, though she was rarely around to give it. But regardless, he now found himself looking for white as soon as he entered a room, tensed as if ready to right. Though, after their first few, hostile interactions, all other conversations were relatively civil.
At the moment, neither of the two girls were posing any real danger. Fukawa, while off-putting, was more importantly boring and therefore relatively harmless (and furthermore, currently involved in some inane argument with Yamada). And Kirigiri was too involved in exploring their surroundings to pay him any real note; he turns just in time to see her pulling something flat, gray and rectangular out of a desk.
“What’s that?”
She shakes the thing, hard enough for him to almost be worried that it’d fly from her hands and smack against the floor, and a cloud of dust flies off. “A computer.”
“Oh?” Now this was interesting. He approached nearer, curious. “Does it work?”
In lieu of answering, she sets the device on the central desk and flips open the lid. After clicking and holding a few buttons, she shakes her head. “Doesn’t look like it. That would’ve been too easy.”
A shame. But she was right; it would have been too easy, considering all the mastermind’s attempts to cut them off from the outside world. “Send it to Fujisaki. She should be able to figure something out from it.”
“I was already planning on that.” She sounds mildly miffed at the suggestion, as if affronted that he would think she wouldn’t come to that conclusion.
“Good. I’m glad you have half a modicum of common sense, then.” He sniffs. It was more than just about anyone else here, at least.
She faces him for a moment, long enough for him to wonder if she was glaring at him, before turning away. “Did you find anything of note?”
“Not particularly. Some interesting volumes to pass the time with, but nothing obviously relevant to our situation as of yet.” From what he could tell, and what he had Naegi explain, the shelves held more than just good books. There were also case files for crimes that never reached the public eye, documents of incriminating evidence and then some regarding some of the most powerful names in the world. He would have to pore through those individually later. And some medical textbooks - he made a mental note of their location, and a reminder to go back for them.
Kirigiri steps past him to run a hand across the surface of a low shelf, sending up a cloud of dust. He wrinkles his nose and steps back. “Do you mind?”
“Sorry. I was just reaching for this.” And she holds up a thin rectangle of parchment, sealed by red wax.
___
The letter creates some interesting revelations.
For starters, the school had supposedly been closed down for nearly a year by now. And secondly, it was due to some circumstance outside of anyone’s predictions or control, that the school shut down in the first place.
There was no other elaboration, and nothing could really be gleaned from it other than the mastermind possibly having more control than they originally thought, provided that the letter was real. It was a frustrating loop back to where they first started; nothing was gained from the loss in morale.
If circumstances were different, he would’ve chosen this moment to break off from the group. He found a new source of entertainment and information with which to use, and with Maizono breaking some unspoken promise, there was now no telling who might strike next. If circumstances were different, he would take this opportunity to try playing a more active role in the game, to see how much he could push his limits, to prove the value and right of his blood.
But with his current situation, he had no choice but to continue to participate in the inane routine that everyone agreed to partake in. Waking up at six AM sharp to dress and clean himself accordingly, taking extreme care to ensure nothing was out of place, and then walking to the dining hall to enjoy breakfast. Ishimaru was usually there at this time, as timely as ever and preparing breakfast alongside whoever’s turn it was to handle the meals that day, and could usually be coerced into making a half-palatable cup of coffee. Then was the usual waiting around as the others made their slow, meandering ways in, exchanging yawned greetings and calls for food.
He sat apart from everyone else, as usual. Sometime around seven, Naegi would show up, and bring over a plate of buttered toast and some cut fruit for Byakuya and move on without another word. At first, the others had exchanged curious, barely concealed whispers, wondering at the nature of their dynamic - now, they hardly paid any mind.
“Today, we should split up and look for clues!” Ishimaru declared, after they had eaten.
“Isn’t that what we do every day, anyways?” Asahina muttered under her breath. Her head was resting in her arms, sprawled on the table. “I wanna go to the pool…”
“Yes, I don’t see why we can’t take a day to enjoy the new facilities.” Celeste interjected, hands folded primly over her lap. “I doubt any of it is going anywhere. And we have endured quite a lot, have we not?”
“Yeah, we should take a break! For like, morale and stuff!” Yasuhiro agreed heartily, nodding emphatically.
As Ishimaru tried to regain control over the table, Byakuya silently agreed right along with them. By his calculations, it would take at least twice as long for him to read anything if Naegi was helping him. Any free time was valuable.
“Well- it’s better to get work done before leisure, you know!” Ishimaru tried again, voice raised. “Otherwise, how will we be dedicated students!”
“We’re hardly students at all though?” Naegi’s quiet voice piped up. “I mean, considering why we're here...”
The previously light-hearted atmosphere vanished instantly. Over the course of just a few days, they’d witnessed the deaths of three of their peers. As much as Byakuya respected the entirely logical reasoning that Naegi had offered, he also felt that it was rather mistimed.
He debated whether or not to offer his own input, before Kirigiri beat him to the punch. “Why don’t we do both?” Her tone was calm and clear as always. “I imagine we will all be in different locations anyways. If every person just makes note of something that’s interesting and worth remembering where they are, we can come together later and combine that information. Everyone who wants to investigate on their own is welcome to do so.”
There’s a chorus of agreement to that suggestion. Ishimaru seemed relieved by Kirigiri’s attempt to boost the group’s cohesion, though Byakuya doubted whether that was her real intention. Bit by bit, people began to split off; predictably, Asahina half-dragged, more-led Ogami away in the direction of the pool, and Celeste began demanding Yamada to make her some tea. Byakuya stood up, watched as Fukawa swooped in and took his empty cutlery, and beelined towards Naegi.
He reaches him just at the same time as Kirigiri, both of them placing a hand on the young man’s shoulders at the time. Byakuya locks eyes (presumably) with the girl, frowning. “Is there something that you need?”
“...No.” She releases him, and walks away. It takes both of them by surprise; Byakuya had been expecting a bigger fight.
“...What was that all about?” Makoto asks, bemused. Byakuya had no good answer to that question.
“You’d do better to stay away from her.” Is all he says instead, before dragging Naegi off.
He had a selection of books he wanted to read for his leisure in his room, but had left anything potentially case-relevant in the library. It is for this reason that he pulls Naegi into the room and positions him directly in front of a shelf of all case files, and points to the one on the right. “Start from there. If there’s anything in there mentioning ‘Hope’s Peak’ or crimes of passion, or killing games like this one, tell me, and we’ll go from there.”
“...Wait, for all of these?!” His voice is a little reedy still, presumably from last night - while he was slow at reading, he was decent at it, and not unpleasant to listen to - Byakuya had made him read aloud nearly half of a translated copy of Atlas Shrugged.
“Is there a problem?” He looks down on the other boy. “You said you’d be my eyes. This is part of what I need my eyes to do. Get started.”
He watches as Naegi wobbles for a moment, turning between him, the shelf, and the door, before reaching for the first file on the far right of the shelf and starting to skim through it. He’s slow, taking a good few moments to look through each page, so Byakuya sits down in the large leather chair by the desk, sinking comfortably into it.
It’s quiet in the library, silent if not for the distant hum of the building’s internal machinery and the occasional flip and shuffle of Naegi going through a folder. Not for the first time, Byakuya wishes for a radio, or a music player. Boredom was a dangerous thing - as Pennyworth had taught him, it dulled the brain and made for delayed, clumsy reactions - and Byakuya had already exhausted the few tricks and games he knew to combat it on his own.
Maybe, it’s for this reason that he decides to initiate conversation. With Naegi, of all people.
“What do you think of her?”
The commoner takes a little moment to respond, and when he registers the question, he predictably begins to sputter, fumbling with the papers in his hands. “I-I-! …Um, w-who…?”
Byakuya rolls his eyes. “Kyoko Kirigiri. Who else?”
Kyoko Kirigiri. He was hoping that, if this school was the Hope’s Peak Academy they were meant to enroll in, that there would be more information eventually revealed about her as well. But for the time being, she was a wild card, and a mystery. These were two things that made her dangerous, and a possible threat.
“Sh-she’s…well, she’s nice…I think?” Naegi tilts his head to the side, unsure about his own answer. “I mean…she helped me out a lot with the trial. I don’t think I would’ve been able to get through it without her help.”
Interesting. That was true from what Byakuya could tell, but it also seemed that Naegi had been doing most of the talking, with occasional interjections from Kirigiri to help push him in the right direction. It was a demonstration of clever manipulation, and one that irked him. If Naegi was going to be working for him, he needed to be free of outside influence.
“Keep looking through the files.” He nods at the shelf, and Naegi fumbles with the folder with his hands, flipping it closed and sliding it away. “I saw you and her talking the other day after the trial. What were you discussing?” He asks, voice casual and almost bored.
“Oh, that? That…” He trails off. He seems to almost visibly deflate, his form drooping over like an unwatered plant. “That was…about Sayaka. She wanted to reassure me that Sayaka still cared about me, at the end.”
Still cared about you? The notion was so preposterous that Byakuya couldn’t help stifling a laugh, instead snorting at the thought.
“...What’s so funny?”
“Sorry. I simply find the idea of it ridiculous, is all.” Sayaka Maizono, caring for him? Perhaps, but the entire plan that she had prepared was, albeit hastily executed, commendable in its elaborate design, considering the short time period in which it was concocted. Trying to derive small comfort from such an assumption was like trying to squeeze water from a stone; a pointless, frivolous task.
“Why?” Naegi’s voice is raised now, and he sounds angry. “It’s not ridiculous. We really were good friends-”
“Oh, please. Were you friends back in middle school? Or did you only watch her from afar?” Naegi shrinks back at the words, which meant that Byakuya had been spot-on. “And she only reached out to you after we found ourselves trapped here, and said all the right things to get you to follow after her like a starving dog.”
“Shut up.” Naegi says, voice so quiet he almost missed it.
“She could’ve used any of the half-witted fools in this class, but she used you because she knew you were unlikely to betray her.”
“Shut up.”
“Did you happen to make a promise to ‘help her no matter what?’”
“I said, shut UP!”
The sudden shout is accompanied by the rustle of papers hitting the ground, as Naegi drops whatever was in his hands to the floor. Byakuya remains carefully composed, though he suddenly feels incredibly wary.
“I’m only telling the truth.” He keeps his voice level, calm. Naegi was standing up, and somehow seemed bigger than before; though that was perhaps due to how Byakuya was sitting down. “It was obvious that she was trying to pin you under her thumb. She was going to betray you eventually, so it’s better to forget about her and move on.”
“You don’t get to say that stuff about her.”
“And why can’t I? Everything I say is simply meant as advice. Advice that you clearly need.” He continues anyways, trying to hide the unease creeping at the edges of his voice. Why did he feel so threatened? The only one here was Naegi. “You know it’s happening again, right? That Kyoko woman. She’ll do the exact same thing as Sayaka and you’ll be none the wiser.”
“She’s not like that.” His words are a low whisper now, barely audible. It seems to fill up the entire room.
“And how do you know? What do you know about her that no one else does?”
At last, he’s met with silence. A question that can’t be answered. He watches the realization sink into Naegi, watches his demeanor change, shrinking back to being small and meek again, and without realizing it he lets out a breath he’d been holding.
“...I don’t know.” Naegi says aloud, at last, and his voice is so small again. “I…I don’t know anything about her.”
“Right.” Byakuya nods, while feeling an inexplicable rush of relief. “So-”
“But I also don’t know anything about you.”
“...Excuse me?”
Not for the first time, he wishes he could discern facial features. He hadn’t realized how much he relied on them before; how telling they were to a person’s character, their emotions, their whims and ideals. Even Naegi, someone who should’ve been inconsequential to him, was capable of becoming dangerous. A treacherous link in a chain.
But Byakuya had no choice but to rely on him anyway.
Naegi turns around, and Byakuya suddenly realizes he was about to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Sorry, I…can’t really think straight right now. I probably won’t be able to help you for a little bit.” There’s a tremor in his voice. Anger? Grief? “But I don’t know anything about you either. Yes, I know your talent,” He adds, as Byakuya opens his mouth to correct him. “And your secret, but…that’s still not enough, right?”
“This-This is different, though.” We’re built on more stable footing, he thinks. Naegi knew his secret and would help him navigate as needed. In return, he would use his authority to ensure the lives of Naegi’s family. That was their deal.
“Maybe, but still. There’s a lot I don’t know about you. And you’re right - I don’t know if I can trust Kyoko’s words, because she could just be trying to use me. Just like Sayaka did…” His voice trails, and he shakes his head. “But I also don’t know if I can trust you. Aren’t you just using me, like you say Kyoko wants to?”
Was he stupid? “Like I said, this is different.” He stands up, steps forward - and hears the crunch of papers beneath his feet, but there’s no time to worry about that now - “I’ve already sworn on my family’s name - there’s nothing else in the world that means more to me, not even my own life - and look at me. Do you really think I’m capable of anything when I’m like this?” He holds his hands out, gestures towards himself. This wasn’t turning out the way he wanted - all he had wanted was respite from boredom, and reassurance that Naegi wouldn’t betray him, and to get some sense into the damn peasant - “Makoto.”
Naegi turns away again. “...I’m sorry.” Byakuya can hear his hand on the doorknob, trembling slightly. “I promise, I’ll keep up my part of the deal still, but…please, let me off for now. To think for a bit.”
He still doesn’t move, however, and Byakuya belatedly realizes that he was waiting for permission. He hears the papers beneath his shoes crumple, as his heels dig into the carpet.
“...Fine, then.” He spits. “Get out. Go play with Kyoko, or whoever you want, and get your pathetic heart broken and betrayed all over again.” He watches Naegi cringe under these words, shying away as if they were physical blows. “Don’t come back to me until I say so.”
< previous - from start - next >
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hello i saw you talking a bit in the tags of the cane post you reblogged from me hehe, you mentioned you might make a longer post about the use of canes for balance, figured id send an ask so if u wanted u could put that in the answer. im really interested to learn more about it — im currently writing a character who uses a cane for balance reasons and i might have to use one someday since i live somewhere that gets gotdamn icy in the winter, so im interested to hear how best practices differ from using a cane for injury/pain
hi ! very happy to infodump about (my) cane usage, after this post. i'm adding this one which has incredible advice on tons of mobility aids. prefacing this with "ymmv, varied sources help because everyone does different things", as usual ^^
cane usage can be about distance or span of time you need to walk / stand up. this depends on why you need the cane and if certain situations trigger it more
for me, walking is better than standing up still, because i'm not weighing down on any body part long enough to cause pain. leaning on the cane hurts even if i switch hands regularly. crutches (especially forearm crutches) are more efficient, but not indefinitely
for long visits and similarly tiring activities (lots of still time + starting / stopping movement), a wheelchair is way more useful. otherwise the heterogeneity of the movement will hurt in itself
canes are a huge help with footing if the terrain slopes, gets uneven or is a little unpredictable. however if the terrain is muddy, extremely crumbly / cracked, or slippery, you may need tip attachments to make the grip better
you need more space to move around, and have to be careful not to knock into people / objects when you move and turn, but poor spatial awareness or muscle control will mean you still bump into things frequently
i lean on everything if i'm inside and don't have my cane ready, if i need something stable which doesn't depend on my ability to hold it, or if my legs / arms are giving out
the rubber tip reduces the aftershock of the stick slamming into the ground, especially if you have trouble measuring your strength. else, the tapping will genuinely hurt your arm + shoulder and also everyone in a five mile radius will hear you walking around
the handle needs to fit your hand (larger hand = larger handle etc). there's slide-on handles to help reduce the strain if closing your hand tight hurts. ataxia / tremors can make you drop your cane or clutch it even tighter and needs to be accounted for (softer grip, wrist strap)
any new mobility device is gonna hurt in the beginning as your nerves get used to constant pressure in a new shape. this was worse for my crutch than for my cane, possibly because the crutch came first. wheelchairs hurt in unexpected ways but i have less experience
when you stop using the cane, your hand can hurt from the sudden change in pressure on your nerve, and the rest of your body too as the limbs readjust. if you have paresthesia (clinical "pins and needles" basically), holding the cane can make it worse. i don't know how orthotics would interact with that
misc
foldable canes are very good because they can fit in your bag, instead of falling over or stabbing you in the chest when the vehicle suddenly stops. it also means you don't forget them if you have to leave quick and you're distracted
me holding my beloved foldable cane and showing the opening swoop (my favourite part). ID in alt text
using a cane slows you down... usually. the energy of a character will still affect their speed. i have always walked like a maniac which means i clack-clack my way along, out of breath + tired at the end. i can't run anymore though, so catching up with / escaping someone ranges from difficult to impossible
hidden features of the cane would work best if they don't impede its use (no additional weight, no need to take it apart / off the ground): storage of data, small items like needles, something that incorporates the tapping of the cane or its material...
stairs are difficult. how i do it is put cane two steps above me, and repeat every time i reach that step (less arm movements, easier on my shoulder). i have read vastly different methods, so my takeaway is everyone has their rhythm and the amount of training to find what works / focus implementing it will vary. brain fog, emotional deregulation and physical pain set you back
#palant1r#olorea answers#if you have any questions on sth i didn't expand on don't hesitate !!#this still got very very long and the Tired might make this incoherent... typical haz behaviour. it will happen again#writing ref#disabled writer#txt#img#vid
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good morning! happy thanksgiving weekly tag thursday!
thank you for tagging me @milkovichrules
if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do?
someone who doesnt have a little headache i guess
what's your most trivial / dumbest hot take?
carpeted floors are gross and should be abolished, wood flooring and tile only! rugs are allowable if they are regularly cleaned
shameless related tivial hot takes? i never found jimmysteve attractive even for one single second, not looks personality nothing
if you had to teach a college course what would it be in?
my version of men thinking they could land a plane if they needed to is thinking i could teach literally any highschool class. but college level? i could probably teach a history or english seminar, i went to an art school and could defiantly teach any of the non-architecture art courses I had to take, and i could teach a design studio
season 12 of shameless is suddenly happening and you've been out in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen?
okay first and formost, lip has had his chance and he blew it hard, multiple times. tami is taking the reigns of their little family for a while
i think debbie got part ways/all the away down to texas and had some kind of rude awakening (sorry yall she needs it) and maybe goes to fiona in florida and they spend a couple weeks repairing their relationship from all the damage that had been brewing for years
carl does buy the alibi with his partner for cheap and finds out anne moved back to Chicago and helps him run it, theres an episode that shows them starting to mirror kev and V and its hilarious
Liam continues to struggle with identity and purpose after Franks death, but his brothers notice how hard he was taking franks death and make an effort to make sure he gets to live more as a kid while also respecting his autonomy
ian and mickey, whew, honestly im working on a couple fics that will expand more on this but they grow together, work together and love each other very much
who would be your godly parent (can be any mythology)?
athena
what's something you love about yourself?
i love helping the people in my life! i am not a touchy feely person but if you need/want something? give me a call we'll get it done and dusted
i also love the way i look and have great style
describe your day in 5 emojis:
🕯🧸🎾🍷🍂
what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight?
im not even joking , lip
tell us two truths and a lie, we'll try to guess the lie!
do you have a pet/pets? if so, how did they get their name(s)?
please do not come for me, but i am not a pet person. i love animals and i think theyre so cute and funny but theyre also dirty and need space and attention so they do not belong in my tiny apartment
show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence:
what's your typical coffee / tea / beverage order?
latte with whole milk, hot or iced depending on the season
use a song to describe the last five years of your life:
play along! @jrooc @sweetperversiongirl @thefairytail @stocious @steorie @solitarycreaturesthey @mickeysgaymom @vintagelacerosette
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|everything you are is beautiful|Hyunjin x trans reader|
{hwang hyunjin was your best friend from kindergarten to middle school going separate ways after high school and growing apart overtime, years later you would have a talent for playing an array of instruments and become a small artist under jype, but then when you see stray kids you recognize hyunjin but the thing is he doesn't realize who you are, reason being you had been transitioning after graduating}
paring{hwang hyunjin x trans(ftm)reader}
tags{angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, pining, best friends, mlm, found family, coming out, comedy, crying, depression, dysphoria, happy ending}
☣WARNINGS☣{im a trans boy but im sorry if i miss some things or misrepresent some trans people, swearing, angst, big sad argument near the end, depression, body dysphoria, coming out, mentioned someone outting you}
word count{2,3k+}
A/N{reader is same age as hyunjin but a bit younger by a few months, this fic will be available on ao3 as well}
{d/n = deadname}
enjoy!
He's beautiful
beautiful is the only way to describe hwang hyunjin, beautiful in the sense that he could make the ugliest outfit In the world make him look like a god, beautiful in a way that makes you wonder for a second if he really is this kind just for the camera but then you meet him and his personality is like moonlight reflecting on a pond in a quiet forest, so calm and peaceful to anyone and everyone but most of all beautiful, his voice, talents, hobbies just make him so beautiful he left people wanting to be as talented as him or look like him or be as rich him, but he always left you thinking
'why can't my body look like that? why couldn't I be born the same way he was?'
You've always been dealing with dysphoria even after top surgery and starting testosterone you can't help but want to scream when you get called a 'lady' or 'ma'am', its so hard because in your head you think that if only you had been born like hyunjin you wouldn't be dealing with some the problems you've gone through, like the slurs, the bullying, your parents disowning you, all of the things you experienced just because you want to be boy,
You're regularly around stray kids for most of your job, you are an idol too after all, and over all of the time you've had to reconnect with hyunjin you and him became friends like you were back in middle school always joking around poking fun at some of the members but never crossing the line with any of them and enjoying eachother's company and even growing some secret feelings for him, but you felt like he couldn't love you, he didn't even recognize you from when you two were younger and he would sometimes slip into conversations about how he misses his best friend d/n, he just couldn't love you because to you its clear he loved better as a girl,
You feel as though now that you're away from all of the people including your family that don't support you, everyone has to hate you, but not hyunjin and the rest of stray kids they've always felt like a safe space for you and there always gonna be with you, every time you think they're going to hate you for being trans they always show so much love even though they don't know yet,
"hey y/n-ah were gonna have a little sleepover party at the dorm you wanna come along" seungmin asked "of course ill be there" you responed excited to go spend some time the group after weeks of promotions and interviews.
you arrive to stray kids dorm wearing some comfy and casual clothes that Felix got you on a little date shopping with him and hyunjin, you come into the dorm and make your self comfortable on one of the recliners sitting next to han and hyunjin playing smash Bros on there big ass tv, "y/nnie you wanna play with us?" hyunjin asks you handing out a little switch controller for you to take "oh sure!" You say a bit startled by hyunjin talking to you while your head was in the clouds, but before you guys can start another round jeongin comes running into the living room dragging minho behind him "let's play truth or dare!" everyone immediately stopped with what they were doing and formed a circle on the floor, "alright first, han, truth or dare" minho said as he looked at the quokka "dare" "alright then I dare you to make out me" "challenge accepted!" the two of them disappeared into the other room to get some privacy, "so, that happened" bang chan said quickly brushing it off, some awkward silence between every one for a few minutes "should we wait for them-" Felix was cut off by han and minho exiting the room both of there faces redder then strawberrys "how the fuck did you two manage to give eachother hickeys, you were gone for less then 5 minutes" seungmin remarked minho glared at him "well you see seungminnie when a man and another man love eachother very much-" "nope, stop don't say anything else I don't need to have the talk again thank you"
Everyone laughed as han and minho sat back down, "okayy now, y/n" you perked your head up when you heard your name "truth or dare!" jeongin demanded in a sort of wizard voice "um, im just gonna go with truth" you responed
"y/n, what is something about you that you wouldn't want most people to know?"
Your heart sank at the question and all you could feel was panic, you knew that were supportive of the lgbtq+ community but you wondered if this was the best place to tell them, you couldn't lie and say something else because they basically know everything about you, expect one thing,
"you okay?" Han questioned you becoming more worried along with the other members, "yeah im fine, im still thinking" hyunjin took this as a sign that you might not be okay, he holds your hand to let you know that he's listening and he'll be there for you, you take a second to look at hyunjin and his lips curve into a small smile, and you smile back, becoming less stressed as you take a deep breath,
"Im sorry I didn't tell any of you years ago, but now I think im ready..." you look up to the rest of them their eyes filled with love and understanding,
"im transgender"
You couldn't help but laugh because of how nervous you were, but you were feeling so happy that you didn't have to worry about their thoughts about trans people because you knew that they would always support you and not Pressure you into coming out to them,
"we still love you y/nnie, its okay!" Felix hugged you tightly you hugging back equally tight "im glad you told us y/n, thank you for trusting us" bang chan got up to rub your back being the father of the group, a wave of euphoria rushes over you feeling like you could do anything and everything now that that weight has been lifted from your chest (literally), "that doesn't make you any less of a man to me, you're still the best workout partner I have" chanbin stated sounding like he'll punch anyone that says otherwise,
"maybe we should do something else now, any ideas?" jeongin asked looking at the others "how about some popcorn and movies" everyone agreed in unison to seungmin's request "alright then me and jeongin will get started on the popcorn and you guys can queue the movie" bang chan and jeongin got up and headed to the kitchen while every one else was getting comfortable on the sofa's,
hyunjin sat next to you as the movie played, then he got close up to your ear "im glad you told us y/n, we're proud of you" he whispered pressing a light kiss under your eye turning back to watch the movie while you felt your face heat up.
the next couple of months would by just as normal with the promotions, comebacks, etc, expect your feelings for hyunjin would grow more and more intense just by looking at him no matter what he was doing, he always seemed to capture your heart with ease just by laughing or looking into his eyes, he was just so captivating by everything he did he could just be breathing and you would still think he's beautiful,
'he couldn't love me back' you'd think 'i don't even know if he likes guys' your intrusive thought would sting at your heartstrings, but it was true you didn't know what his preferences were and even if you did would he love you back?.
during your break in between promotions you hung out with han, jeongin and hyunjin relaxing on the sofa and chatting with the three of them, when the conversation suddenly went to dating "y/n hyung are you interested in anyone?" jeongin wondered "no, not really" "hmm what about hyunjin hyung?" you all looked at hyunjin who was busy looking on his phone "I mean...yes?" han and the maknae both gasped in unison but your anxiety was slowly kicking in as you realized what's about to unfold, "spill the tea" han egged hyunjin on as his took a drink of his water like it was wine, "well I haven't seen her since high school but I just can't stop thinking about her" every fear in your body grow more with every word hyunjin said, "well what's her name???" jeongin questioned focusing his whole being on hyunjin,
"d/n"
your ears started to ring when you heard that name, you wanted everything to stop and just go dark, anything to rid you of this feeling that felt like your heart was gonna stop, "tell us more about her" "well she was really talented with instruments and could easily just pick something up and start playing, boy she was amazing" hyunjin said in a dreamy voice holding his face in his hands "wow she sure sounds great, what do you think y/n?" jeongin cocked his head in your direction his eyes filled with excitement, "she kinda sounds like a bitch" you muttered feeling anger begin to take over you, you just couldn't stand it when people praised you before you transitioned saying that you were 'such a talented young girl' and that you 'looked so much better back then',
"why are you saying that y/n!?" han's expression changing to shock at your words "yeah don't be so salty" jeongin said teasingly trying to lighten up the conversation "just because she's talented doesn't mean she's not a whore" you responed not even caring at this point, hyunjin's eyes turned dark not understanding why you're acting this way "why are you saying all of this y/n?, you don't even know her" hyunjin yelled standing up from his seat "oh no hyunjin i know her, 'good grades, loved by her friends and family, such a talented and sweet young girl with a bright future ahead of her'" you yelled back getting up from the sofa "what's your point!?" hyunjin scoffed getting increasingly more angry "but then one day someone found out one little thing about her that she couldn't change, then told everyone that she knew and then she lost everyone, her friends and her own family, all b-because..." you looked down as you felt giant tears begin to form in your eyes that threaten to fall as you were overwhelmed with sadness and self hatred, "because what?" hyunjin questioned still angry but becoming more worried by the sound of his voice, you try to wipe your tears away before looking back up at hyunjin,
"all because she didn't want to be a girl"
you fell back onto the sofa crying as jeongin patting your back trying his best to comfort you "i always looked at you and thought 'one day im gonna be like hyunjin and finally be seen as a boy', you've made me feel better about myself at times when I thought about hurting myself, I look up to you because to me I think everything about you is beautiful and I want to follow in your footsteps" hyunjin sits next to you crying as he puts his hands on your face "i-im so sorry y/n, im such an asshole" he sobbed looking down away from your eyes, the other two members silently leave to give you two some space and work things out, "your not an asshole, im sorry I didn't tell you I was so afraid of what you might say that I just stuffed down all my feelings for you" you responed lifting hyunjin's head up as you wipe away all the tears on his face "how do you feel about me?" hyunjin looked into your eyes as you pause for a second to think about your words "I love you hyunjin, more then you could ever imagine" you hug hyunjin so tight that you could feel his heartbeat against your chest as you buried your face in his shoulder, hyunjin picks your face up from his shoulder in order to face you, both of your lips almost connecting with eachother's
"I love you too y/n" he whispers pushing his lips up to yours
as you two pull away from his lips you embrace him again as he wraps his arms around your waist.
that night you decided to spend the night with hyunjin, you and him were in his room talking with one another while cuddling in his bed "i never knew how much you looked up to me" he said sounding like he was getting pretty tired "well you're a beautiful person so how could I not" you yawned "you keep saying im beautiful, what's up with that?" hyunjin questioned while looking up at you "well like I said before everything about you is beautiful, meaning not just your looks but also you as person" you responed planting a smell peck on his forehead "ahh now I get it" he shyed feeling kinda dumb for not getting it before "we should get some sleep now im tired" you yawned all of your energy drained from your little heart to heart argument with hyunjin "alright goodnight baby I love you" "i love you too" you gave him a small kiss on his lips before he buried his face in your chest the two of you slowly falling asleep in the comfort of eachother's arms.
im sorry if this isn't good I tried to make it longer than my last fic but I hope you enjoyed it!
#gay stray kids#stray kids x male reader#stray kids x trans reader#stray kids#skz#skzoo#skz hyunjin#Hyunjin#Hwang hyunjin#stray kids hyunjin#skz moodboard#hyunjin moodboard#Stay Gay#gay stay#Trans stay#kpop#kpop x trans reader#kpop x trans!reader#kpop x male reader#kpop x reader#fluff#stray kids fluff#Stray kids x gender neutral reader#transgender#dark fairycore#i love him so much#stray kids aesthetic#stray kids moodboard#mlm#found family
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