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sugarmaplewings-fics · 3 years

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Touch Starved

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Warnings: Cursing, sfw fwb dynamic (lmao it’s secret hugging)

A/N:

*heavy breathing* I finally finished it!! I’ve had this request sitting in my inbox for literal months and I’m so sorry, anon, that you had to wait so long 😫. I hope you like what I came up with!

Also I ended up using she/her pronouns a bit towards the end, so if you’d like me to edit it so it has they/them I can repost it! Just let me know :)

-Sugar

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● Bakugou's never been much for physical affection

● Or, at least, so he'd convinced himself

● Even around his family, he found himself shrinking back from hugs

● And anytime one of his friends would try to put an arm around him or pat him on the back, he'd flinch and tense up (Kirishima and Kaminari had a few special privileges, but even they were on thin fucking ice)

● A part of him craved that touch, wished it could last longer

● But his ego always got in the way

● From a young age, he'd viewed acts like this as showing weakness and vulnerability. It's no surprise that by the time he arrives at UA, the longing is a mostly ignorable dull throb

● Until he got to know you

● You were one of the most sickeningly sweet people Bakugou had ever seen, and he despised you

● You were just as bad as that Shitty Hair, if not worse; always grinning and trying to include everyone, even him

● He hated how his eyes seemed to have a mind of their own around you, never letting you leave their gaze when you were around him. He hated how your laugh made his cheeks heat up and his heart pound in his chest. And most of all, he hated when the tips of your fingers would brush against his arm, or when you tried to lean on his shoulder. You truly were the most intolerable of beings

● And it seems like you're even worse today

● Class was about to start and you were talking with Ashido, Kirishima, and Kaminari

● He honestly wasn't even paying attention to the conversation, that is, until he heard his name mentioned

● His red eyes flicked to you, since it had been your voice he'd heard say his name

● You had definitely been trying to get his attention. Now your gaze was directed at him

● "I've never seen you hug anyone, Bakugou," you said, your head tilted slightly as you addressed him

● "The hell does that have to do with anything?" he grumbled, already getting annoyed at the topic of conversation

● "Well, I read the other day that hugs can make you happier! And you always seem so grumpy all the time, so I was wondering if you just needed more hugs."

● You seemed oblivious to the way your classmates were staring at you. Even Bakugou couldn't bring himself to speak, merely glaring at you with a confused, almost offended expression

● Panicking at his lack of response, you bent down and threw your arms around his shoulders. You thought you heard a gasp from one or two of your classmates behind you

● Bakugou seemed to have no reaction other than mild shock. He just froze there, neither pushing you off nor reciprocating

● The whole thing was over within a few seconds, but it felt as though it had actually lasted much, much longer. Seconds after you pulled away, the bell rang for class to start, and everyone had to go back to their seats

● There was an abnormal silence in the class after that. It was as if nearly every student was thinking, Holy crap, (L/N) just hugged Bakugou freaking Katsuki

● Bakugou was weirdly silent too. It seemed as if he hadn't had any reaction at all

● Sike—it was pure chaos inside his head

● He's just been pounded with a whole slew of new feelings and emotions—give the boy a break (and a minute to process)

● He can scarcely pay attention during class (which he can afford to do, it's not like he doesn't already know most of this stuff)

● Katsuki can't tell if he hated it or not

● His immediate instinct is to reject it and say it was awful . . . but he can't deny that there's a teeny tiny part of his brain that wants you to do it again

● No one can ever know this, of course. He has a reputation to maintain, after all

● But in the safety of his own mind, he replays it over and over, trying to remember every detail of how your arms had felt around him for that brief moment

● Boy was hooked on you even more than he had been before

● But it's not like anyone can tell. Bakugou's good at that. No one would ever be able to tell he had any feelings towards the incident at all, negative or positive

● Even after his friends bombard him with questions after class, he gruffly brushes them all off. He acts so uninterestingly about it, they don't even bother asking him about it again

● Bakugou hopes that this will all blow over within the next few days. He'd surely stop thinking about you all the time, right? Maybe somehow, if he ignored these thoughts, his eyes wouldn't trail after you on their own accord, and his mind wouldn't jump at every opportunity to think about you

● For weeks, he told himself this, and time passed to nearly two months. He avoided you at all costs, refusing to speak to you or even make eye contact

● You felt horrible, blaming it on the dumb mistake you'd made to hug him that morning. No matter how hard you tried to approach him to apologize, he'd turn you away, and soon enough, you'd given up

● Until one night, he couldn't take it anymore

● He had just been fantasizing about that moment again, and tentatively wondering how it would feel to put his arms around you while he was out in the dorm hallway

● Even through the haze of his thoughts, he was quick to notice your head of hair about to turn into the hallway to your room

● You. Bubbly, bright, overly touchy and friendly you. Fuck you.

● You were always hugging everyone, right? You didn't really mean anything by it, right? It was no big deal when you hugged other people. So, maybe if he were to just ask . . .

● "Oi."

● You froze in your tracks. You'd caught sight of him in the hall, but you knew better than to try to attract his attention. He was dead set on avoiding you, and you'd pretty much accepted that by now

● Turning, you met his fiery red eyes for the first time in weeks. "Yeah?"

● There was something . . . apprehensive in his expression. You weren't sure if you'd ever seen anything like it on his face before

● "Get over here, I want to ask you something." He shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his glare to the carpet below him

● Uncertain of what might be going on, you cautiously made your way to him

● "What is it?" you asked, a little annoyed with how he'd been treating you lately

● "I, um, well—remember that thing you did a while ago?"

● You blinked at him, slowly. "I do a lot of things. You need to be more specific."

● You'd never seen him look so flustered. It was almost . . . cute

● "You—um, you hugged me. Remember?"

● Of course you remembered. That was what had made him hate you in the first place, right?

● You sighed and crossed your arms. "Look, I'm sorry I did that. I know it made you uncomfortable and I'm sorry it affected you so much. Really, I was just goofing around, and I'm sorry it got out of hand."

● He blinked at you. You were apologizing? Oh, maybe it did make sense, now that he thought about it. He had been being an ass to you

● "Is that what you wanted?" you asked. "I tried to apologize a long time ago but you wouldn't even look at me—"

● "Could you do it again?" he cut you off

● ". . . apologize?"

● "What?! No!" Bakugou's face reddened and he scanned the surroundings for a potential audience. He dropped his voice to a scarcely audible mumble. "I . . . —dammit, I want you to hug me again."

● You blinked at him, this time in surprise. You had, in fact, heard him, but you could barely believe it. You only knew that you'd understood him correctly by his posture, and how uncharacteristically flustered he was

● "You want another hug?"

● He scowled. "Don't make me say it twice."

● "So you liked it the first time?"

● "I never said that!"

● "Uh-huh."

● Even with your annoyed teasing, you felt as if you might be able to understand a little. Everything seemed to make more sense to you, and you were beginning to catch onto the bigger picture. He'd been embarrassed that he liked it, and that was why he'd been avoiding you

● "So do you want a hug now or—?"

● "Not where anyone could see!" Bakugou's eyes nervously darted around again. "We could . . . go in my room or something." His voice had dropped back to a mumble

● You snorted and rolled your eyes. "Secret hugs, huh? I didn't know I was in such high demand."

● "Shut up, dumbass. Just follow me."

● You do that, letting him lead you into his room. After he shuts the door behind you, you stand there awkwardly for a second

● "So . . . you just wanted a hug?"

● He shrugged. "Yeah."

● You closed the distance between you and took him into your arms

● He stiffened a little at the contact, heart pounding away in his chest. It was even better than he had remembered, and now he noticed even more things; like the way your chest felt pressed against his body, and how your hair smelled like shampoo, and—

● "Relax, idiot," you whispered beside his ear. Bakugou tried to let out some of the tension in his shoulders and even tried looping his own arms around you

● You snickered internally, until a thought struck you

● When you finally pulled away, you looked at him inquisitively. "When was the last time you hugged someone?" you asked. "Other than me."

● He frowned, still a little flustered. Then he shrugged. "I don't know. It's probably been a few years."

● You couldn't help but feel your heart pang a little bit for the boy. You knew how he felt about interacting with people. You'd seen how adverse he'd seemed towards physical interaction, even among his friends

●Touch starved, you thought. It was an awful thing to experience. Bakugou probably wasn't even aware of what he was missing

● You sighed. "We can do this again if you want," you offered, wondering if the proposition would set him off to ignore you again. "I won't tell anyone."

● "Better not," he muttered under his breath

● "Do you want me to come back or not?" you asked

● He shrugged. "S'whatever. Do whatever."

● You frowned right back at him. "Yes. Or no?"

● "Yes! Yes, come over here and hug me or whatever shit! Just—just leave now."

● You rolled your eyes at him, turning and twisting the doorknob. "Just ask when you're ready," you said before walking out of his room again

● Bakugou stared at the door for a long time after you'd left

● His chest felt like it had little explosions going off in it, and he couldn't help but feel ridiculously giddy

● What was he doing? But it had felt . . . amazing. And you'd offered to do it again, whenever he asked . . . .

● . . . You proved to stand by your word

● Sure enough, he'd catch you alone every few days and sneak off to his room for a quick hug. In return, he'd help you go over your notes for class

● Before long, you couldn't help but feel closer to Bakugou. Even with his harsh nature, you noticed how he could really be. Coupled with the moments of vulnerability he'd let you in on while you hugged in secret, your liking for the boy only grew

● And it did seem to have some effect on his mood. He wasn't so easily set off, and he yelled a bit less. Your fellow classmates didn't bring up the change, but they had certainly noticed it

● Even though no one was allowed to know about your shared moments together, Kirishima would often join you for a study session

● During those days, you'd wait until he left before going in to give Bakugou his hug

● Until the inevitable happened

● It was just you and Bakugou in his room. You'd gotten all your stuff packed up for the night and you were giving him one last hug

● He'd gotten better at it over the past couple of weeks, and he'd learned to relax more into your hold

● Of course, that was right when Kirishima came back in

● "Sorry, dude, I left my—" He froze at the sight before him

● Bakugou jumped back from you, trying to look as though it wasn't obvious what he'd just been doing

● "Sorry, guys!" he said, hovering in the doorway for a moment as he debated whether or not to grab whatever he'd forgotten before dashing back out. Ultimately he decided to go emptyhanded, slamming the door shut as he whisked back into his room

● You looked at Bakugou, trying to gauge how he'd taken this turn of events. He looked angry and flustered (a look on him you were starting to get used to), but he definitely could have looked more outraged

● You patted his back. "Are you okay?"

● The blond seemed speechless for once, unable to take his eyes off the door

● "It's just Kirishima," you assured him. "He'd get it. He's understanding."

● Bakugou wasn't so sure

● A few minutes after you left, there was another knock at Bakugou's door

● "What the hell do you want?"

● Kirishima poked his head in, making sure the coast was clear. "I just wanted my notebook back."

● Bakugou picked it up from his desk and launched it at Kirishima's head, which he barely managed to catch

● "Thanks, man." Even with his originally sought after item, the redhead proceeded to step into his friend's room. "So what's going on with you and (L/N)?"

● There it was, the question Bakugou knew was coming

● "Nothing." At least it wasn't a complete lie

● "No, you two were doing something," Kirishima smirked. "Are you dating in secret or something?"

● "What?! No! It's not like that! And besides, it's none of your fucking business."

● Kirishima shrugged. "That's fair. But if you're not dating, why was she hugging you?"

● Bakugou tched. "She hugs everyone, you know her."

● "Yeah, but you were hugging her back."

● "She just gives really nice hugs!"

● Kirishima pouted. "You never hug me."

● "That's because it's different!"

● "So does that mean you like her or something?"

● Bakugou froze for just a split second too long. "No."

● Kirishima gave him a look. "She might like you back. Just ask her out on a date."

● "I already said it wasn't like that—"

● Bakugou's friend shrugged. "Well, if it was . . . couldn't hurt to try."

● Once Kirishima was successfully kicked from Bakugou's room, he took a moment to think. Could he actually . . . like you? Maybe that would explain some of the things that he'd been feeling lately

● But what about you? Could you like him back?

● Bakugou rolled his shoulders. Of course you'd like him, what part of him wasn't perfect? But still . . . .

● One night a few days later, you were alone with Bakugou again in his room, doing homework together

● You couldn't help but notice that his vibe seemed off, and it looked like he was having trouble concentrating

● "Are you alright?" you finally asked him

● "Yeah," he snapped

● "You seem stressed," you commented.

● "I'm not fucking stressed," he said, refusing to meet your eyes as he glared at his notebook in front of him

● "Okay, then," you muttered, rolling your eyes to yourself and attempting to go back to your own notes

● You watched Bakugou fidget from the corner of your eye, but decided not to pay it any mind anymore. It wasn't long before you noticed that he hadn't turned a page in his book for the past several minutes

● Bakugou was, of course, internally raging

● Why couldn't he ask you a simple question? Did he even know what kind of question he wanted to ask, though?

●Go out on a date with me— too forward, it didn't sound right to him in his head

●For some reason, I think I might like you— no again, that wasn't right either

● His mind rolled over various phrasings, trying to figure out how to put his feelings to words. How was he supposed to do that?

● How could he iterate this weird burning mess he felt clawing in his chest every time he looked at you and touched you? How could he say that he wanted more than what you were doing? How was he supposed to get the reaction out of you that he wanted?

●Be fearless, he told himself. He'd faced worse than this before. He'd been through situations where his life had literally been on the line. How come you, of all people, made him feel more frightened than ever before? Why did he care about your opinion of him so goddamn much??

● He had to start somewhere. Maybe once he got going it would be easier

● "Oi," he said, straining to keep his voice steady and nonchalant as you looked up at his averted eyes

● "Yeah?"

● "I was . . . I was wondering if maybe you wanted to . . . study somewhere else sometime."

● You blinked at him. "Like . . . where?"

● He shrugged, just a bit too jerkily. "I don't know. There's this café a few blocks from campus."

● You squinted at him. "What's wrong with staying here?"

● He scowled, his eyes finally darting up to meet yours before dipping back down again. "I just wondered if we could maybe—do something together. Something a little different."

● A hint of realization dawned on you, causing a smile to alight on your lips and your eyebrow to quirk up. "Different like—a date? Are you asking me out on a date with you?"

● He shrugged again in the same manner, still scowling as he muttered, "Only if you want it to be."

● You considered for a moment. He was a decent enough guy. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you might say you'd developed a bit of a crush on him, actually. You'd never paid too much attention to it before, but now that he was asking . . . it couldn't hurt to try

● "Of course I'll go out with you," you said, breaking into an easy smile that Bakugou still wasn't certain if he adored or hated

● He immediately relaxed, a small smile of his own appearing on his face at your agreement

● He was glad it was you. You were the only person he felt comfortable being vulnerable around. He could already tell that he was growing to like you more and more with each passing day, and he could only hope that you felt the same

● You put up with him, and you were strong in your own way, and by goodness, he was beginning to fall for you so hard

● And maybe, if you agreed for him to be your boyfriend, you'd let him cuddle with you. It wouldn't be awkward, because that's what couples did. You'd be his and he'd be yours, and he wouldn't have to bottle up these annoying feelings anymore

● But that would be decided at some later time

● Even so, he couldn't wait for that day to come

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Taglist: @basicaegyo @fourteenow @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @pyrofanatic @sendhelpimstupid @xoxopam4

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou bnha #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #request fulfilled!#sugar fics

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu.

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface. The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites.

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma.

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked. Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it.

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it.

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there.

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother. This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified)

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman.

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights. He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines.

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part.

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats.

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about. He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him.

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages.

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch. Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s. This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets. All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge.

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man.

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost.

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #cql #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #wei wuxian #burial mounds #jiang cheng

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lucemferto · 3 years

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

117 notes · View notes

rhapsodyinprogress · 3 years

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I’ve been brewing a ramble on why I think Josh and Donna are my ultimate number one OTP ever, but I was having trouble articulating it, but now I’ve got it so here we go.

My favourite thing about Josh and Donna is that it takes them seven and a half seasons to kiss. YES I SAID IT. Bear with me here. Do I think we maybe could have sped this up a bit? Had the first kiss in season 5 sometime like I suspect might have happened if Sorkin had stuck around? Yes, but that not actually what I mean.

What I mean is, my favourite thing about Josh and Donna is that we spend basically every scene they share together, from the Pilot right up until The Cold establishing how much they care about each other. Every. Single. Scene. Like yeah, sometimes it’s just a scene where one of them is making fun of the other one, or Josh is explaining something to Donna who’s being the audience proxy that day, but, because of the gift that is Janel Maloney and Bradley Whitford’s chemistry and acting choices, even those scene are always underpinned by that same thing: these people deeply, deeply care about each other.

I remember very distinctly watching the scene where Donna finds out that Josh has been shot for the first time. I mean, obviously I was already two hundred feet down the shipper rabbit hole by that point, so I was basically a disaster. But what I remember is my mother, who only gets casually involved in show relationships gasping “Oh no Donna!” when she walked on screen.

That’s the first episode of season TWO y’all. We hadn’t had Noel, or 17 People, the Diary or Jack Reese or really any of the major shippy moments we know and love. We’d had.... The skiing book and “gather ye rosebuds” and...like... yeah. Joey Lucas wouldn’t even lay out the whole misdirection thing until episode 2.14 and yet, my casual viewer of a mother was like OH YES THIS IS GOING TO HURT MY HEART.

And yes, it’s torture and yes they’re ridiculous and yes “it’s not slow burn they’re just idiots” is like the Josh and Donna shipper slogan but I just. LOVE. IT. I love that it is so clearly established that they are so completely done for each other that Donna tying Josh’s bowtie is enough to have us all lying facedown on the floor weeping. There is something just... unspeakably tender about their relationship because it goes sooooo slooooow.

And the slowness makes every major thing that happens like 20 times more devastating. Like yes, the Gaza arc would have ruined us even if Josh had told Donna he loved her sometime back around Holy Night. But instead we watch Josh wrestle with the fact that the person we’ve spent 5 seasons establishing as his heart and soul might die, while wrestling with the fact that he’s realizing in real time that she is, in fact, his heart and soul, while wrestling with the fact that HE STILL CAN’T TELL HER THAT (because Colin, and he’s her boss, and the White House is in crisis and, and, and). It’s just a special type of pain.

Also, sidebar - as a person still attempting (at 30-something years of age) to figure out where she falls on the ace spectrum, who has a very weird, confusing, nebulous relationship with sexual attraction, the fact that their relationship takes 145 episodes to veer into the physical is really very special to me. It’s not that I don’t think they have sexual tension all the way through the show (because I do) it’s that their friendship and emotional connection is treated as the vastly more important aspect and that does many many things to my heart.

Like - y’all know the little hand wave scene I’m obsessed with in “Evidence of Things Not Seen”? Donna knocks on the glass and waves and Josh gives a tiny wave back and then he turns to Joe and says “that’s my assistant, Donna,” and they way Brad delivers that line is like he’s saying “That’s my very best friend in the entire world, Donna,”. I love watching our two dumb children make out just as much as the next person, but these are the scenes that ruin my life.

It’s like delayed gratification to the max. By the time they finally moosh their faces together, it’s such a rush you feel like you can climb the walls from sheer joy, howling into the night like a feral wolf child; “FINALLY IT HAS COME TO PASS. THE PROMISE WRITTEN IN RED LIGHTS AND BOW TIES AND SNOWBALLS AT THE WINDOW. BEHOLD THE SHIP THAT COMES TO FRUITION AFTER 145 EPISODES AND SEVEN SEASONS. ALL SHALL BOW DOWN IN WORSHIP,”

Or maybe that last part was just me.

(Anyway Tl;Dr - Josh and Donna are the greatest slow burn ship ever and I will love them from now until I, I dunno, die probably.)

#this is very very long but I'm not putting it under a cut #because I'm a dang rebel like that #I could have written several dozen more paragraphs honestly but I'll spare you #I just have so many feelings about these characters #I really do #meg rambles #meg writes #josh x donna #the west wing

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qveensbury · 3 years

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strumming on my heartstrings; don't be dumb

A/N: happy hanukkah @dasfreefree // @freefree-likes-haikyuu!

nurse!reader bonding with Grandpa Ukai when he’s at the hospital with a little Ukai/reader fluff at the end (ao3 & ko-fi will be in the reblog)

Walking into his hospital room, you jokingly huffed. “Ukai-san, I know you love to see me, but this is ridiculous.”

“My doctors keep treating me like I’m fragile.”

“Well, how are you feeling today?”

“Feelin’ fine.”

“Ok. Good. But, you should probably take it easy when they do release you.” You handed him his medicine. “A weak heart isn’t something to take lightly. You wouldn’t want to need surgery.”

Ukai-san grumbled into the paper cup before popping the pills into his mouth. “It was nice to get out of here. My grandson came by.”

“Did he?” You refilled his water and checked his vitals.

“But he just needed help with his volleyball team. Didn’t even come to see me.”

“You should just tell him you miss him. He hasn’t even come to visit you here.”

“He’s a big softie. Would probably start crying if he saw me in this gown.”

You chuckled. “Probably means he cares about you.”

“Keishin should visit so I can introduce you to each other.”

“I’d love to meet him,” you said lightly.

There was something genuine about Ukai-san’s ‘I have a grandson your age’ comments, even though you treated them like a joke. It felt different than the others you got during your rounds.

Maybe it was the understanding you came to the first time he was admitted.

Patients from his generation were difficult. Especially when they felt as he did—their condition wasn’t that bad and they could just get treatment at home.

On his first full day, he refused to take his medicine and wouldn’t talk to anyone. When it got to the point where he had to take his medicine, the other nurses on the floor played a game of rock-paper-scissors to see who would get the job of getting him to take it. You lost the game and had the pleasure of figuring out how to coax him into being a good patient.

Pulling a chair next to his bed, you sat and sighed.

“Your daughter-in-law is pretty worried.”

Silence.

“You need to take your medicine, Ukai-san. Are you feeling dizzy or lightheaded?”

More silence.

“Hmm, your son did say this is your first time at the hospital in months. Although, last time wasn’t at our prestigious institution. But you should know the drill. You need to help your heart pump that blood.”

“I’m not taking that medicine.”

You blinked. “I’m pretty sure your son said you don’t have any allergies to medicine. Did he forget?”

“Last time, it was like playing Russian roulette when they gave me that pill. Sometimes, I was fine. Sometimes, I was so nauseous I thought I was out at sea.”

You frowned, leaning forward. “Did they ask you how you were before you took it?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s why. You can’t take this when feeling faint. A TV nurse could’ve told you that.” You reined in your anger for a moment. “Ukai-san?”

He grunted in response.

“It’s okay to be scared.”

Ukai-san looked up at you.

Continuing, you said, “I understand how disorienting this all can be. Especially if you’ve had a bad experience. No one wants to be in the hospital. But you can’t get better if you don’t tell us what’s happening on Planet Ukai. Today: no dizziness, right?”

“No. No dizziness.”

“So today: you need to take your medicine. Later today? Tomorrow? Maybe not. Sound good?”

Nodding, he visibly relaxed.

“Great.” You smiled, handing him a paper cup. “And it’s okay to be afraid,” you whispered. “It would be a little unnerving if you weren’t.” Standing, you added at your regular volume, “But we’ll take care of you here. Ok, Ukai-san?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

After that, Ukai-san continued to give all the other nurses a hard time, except for you.

Noa would frequently ask how it felt to be the General’s favorite. And you would reply, “I’ll let you know when I meet this grandson.”

—

“Keishin’s team is playing a game today. You should come watch a bit.”

“I heard you’ll be hosting a little party.”

Ukai-san told you more about the team Karasuno would be playing and his long-lived rivalry with Nekoma’s coach as you did your routine around the room.

“Good luck to them. I’ll swing by later.”

The game slipped from your mind until you heard cheers coming from Ukai-san’s room.

“How’s it going?”

“Y/N-chan, they’re gonna show Keishin again. Come.”

Following his instructions, you sat beside him on the bed.

“There he goes.”

Oh.

When Ukai said Keishin looked just like he did back in the day, you thought he meant it in an exaggerated way. You joked that his grandson must be really attractive then and Ukai would laugh. But the moment you saw Keishin you knew who Ukai-san was talking about.

He does look hot.

“He looks just like you,” you joked.

Ukai-san beamed at you and you chuckled.

“You are so proud of him. It’s cute.”

“We’ve been trying to get back to Nationals for five years.” Ukai-san whispered so only you could hear him say. “I’m glad I got to see another dumpster battle.”

You patted his hand before standing to leave. “Me too, Ukai-san.”

—

“Ukai-san, how are we doing today? Experiencing any lightheadedness?”

“Ah, here she is.”

Looking up from your clipboard, you realized Ukai-san had a visitor. The first time you saw Keishin you didn’t notice how sharp his jaw was or the warmth of his eyes or the muscles in his forearms. You closed your mouth and looked at Ukai-san.

“L/N, this is my grandson, Keishin. Keishin, this is the best nurse in the whole hospital.”

“Ukai-san, if you’d said ‘best nurse in the whole country’ I would have started blushing. Nice to meet you, Ukai-kun.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Should I come back later? I don’t want to interrupt your quality time.”

“No, stay L/N. Finish up and Keishin can treat you to a coffee during your break.”

You both protested at the same time.

“Ukai-san—”

“Gramps—”

“—I thought you were joking!”

“—why are you always so heavy handed?”

“Don’t put him on the spot like that. It’s okay.”

“It’ll look like I’m only asking her out because of you.”

Whipping your head to look at him, you felt your heart pang. “You want to ask me out?”

A blush crept up Keishin’s cheeks. “Well, I— He’s been—”

“It’s a yes or no question, Keishin,” Ukai-san interjected.

“Y’know what? Let’s talk later without an audience,” you blurted out, handing Ukai-san his medicine. “I’ll be at the nurses’ station.”

They started bickering the moment you stepped outside to go to the next room.

“What happened? You look flustered.” Noa joined you on the way to the nurses’ station after your round.

“Still?” You pressed your hands to your cheeks. “Ukai’s grandson is here.”

“Oh, the hottie? We were wondering who he came to visit. Did you talk to him?”

“Barely.”

“Well, you’re Ukai-san’s favorite. That’s gotta be a plus at least.”

Keishin was waiting at the nurse’s station and perked up when he saw you.

“Hey.”

Your heart fluttered. “Hi, Ukai-kun."

“L/N, could we go on a walk?”

Noa gave you a thumbs-up as she circled around the nurses’ station to sit down.

“Sure. We could go to the atrium next to the garden.”

He nodded and let you lead the way.

“You honestly don’t have to ask me out if you don’t want.” You spun around to face him once you arrived. “I won’t tell your grandpa.”

“Are...you trying to let me down nicely? Because I do want to take you on a date. But if you aren’t interested, I can take a hint.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“I would like to at least get a coffee with you. But it seems a little too good to be true,” you smirked.

“You’re telling me. Gramps spends an hour talking up this nurse. Who he’s also been talking about nonstop to my parents. Then this angel walks in. I swear, he caught me off guard. But you started pushing back when he mentioned a date and I thought I didn’t have a chance.”

“No, it was a defensive reflex. You had a chance before I even met you. Ukai-san has told me a lot of good things about you.”

Keishin raised his eyebrows. “Good?”

“Well, some bad, too.”

“That sounds right.”

You laughed. “He really loves you.”

“I can say he likes you a lot more than me.”

“Maybe.”

“Ok. Enough about him. Coffee?” Keishin tilted his head to the side.

“Yes,” you smiled.

“Great,” he smiled in return. “I’d be a little hurt if you did shoot me down. But oh boy, would the old man give me a hard time if you did say ‘no.’”

Imagining Ukai-san’s response, you snorted. “Let’s go, Ukai-kun. I’ll save you from your grandpa’s rage.”

#ukai keishin #ukai x reader #HQ!!

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edettethegreat · 3 years

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How to stage King Lear so that Edmund’s 100% more sympathetic and Gloucester’s 100% more of a jerk

( the prequel )

( the sequel )

(This is 100% about Edmund. If you wanna read stuff about other characters then this isn’t the post for you)

(Seriously this isn’t about anyone other than Edmund)

(This is your final warning- enjoy!)

(Or don’t I don’t care I’m really tired and I have midterms to study for)

General Staging

-every time Edmund and Gloucester are on stage together, they gravitate away from each other. Kinda like what happens when you try to push two magnets together. If one takes a step towards the other, the other moves away.

-Gloucester rarely ever looks at Edmund. He often walks in front of him when both are walking together. In scenes where a three way conversation is taking place between himself, Edmund, and someone else, he looks at the other person the whole time.

-Edmund faces away from people when he’s lying to them. Often by standing in front of them (but like, across the stage from them so the audience can see them both) (like this—->)

(I deleted the picture accidentally this is not ok now I have to draw it again)

Casting/ Costumes

-(I’m only gonna be talking about the characters that I actually care about how they’re cast)

-Edmund: someone of average height, yet shorter than Gloucester, Edgar, and Cornwall. Around the same height as Albany and Goneril. Taller than Regan. Is attractive (obviously. That’s one of the first things we’re told about him), but leaning more towards cute than hot (as per my analysis in a previous post). Wears shades of grey- all of his costumes make it clear that he’s upper class, but they’re not overly flashy.

-Gloucester: If I get even one Santa Claus vibe, I’m gonna punch a wall. He should have zero resemblance to Santa. I just saw a production of Lear where he may as well have been a mall Santa. I wanted to scream. Anyway. Onto what he should look like. I honestly don’t care, as long as i can’t mistake him for Santa. It’s the vibe that counts. ANYWAY. His costume is obnoxiously ostentatious, but it gets gradually more normal as the overall stress level increases.

-Edgar: taller than Edmund, and physically more muscular, but in like “Disney channel movie football player side character who’s no one’s primary love interest and is kinda dumb” sort of way. (Future Edette Editing: What I meant was “he’s a himbo”) He’s not ultra hot, but he’s not exactly ugly either. He’s pretty average looking. He wears shades of brown, because I feel like that suits him.

-Cornwall: tall but doesn’t give off Tall Person Vibes. Preferably with dark brown or black hair, but other colors can work as well. I cannot imagine him wearing anything other than suits that are mostly black with some shades of red somewhere- I don’t care how you incorporate the shades of red into his costume, as long as they’re there.

-Albany: has a dark shade of blond hair, or a medium shade of brown hair. Any other hair color just doesn’t work. (Future Edette Editing: any color hair other than black is fine for Albany). Dresses sensibly and wears really boring costumes.

-Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia have at least a little bit of a family resemblance. Please. Their costumes are similar as well- all wear standard types of clothes you’d expect the princesses of England to wear.

ACT 1 SCENE 1

- Gloucester and Kent enter the stage with Edmund trailing behind them. They’re entering the palace from outside. Idk how England’s weather works, but I decided that the whole play takes place in the fall. I’m not wrong. It does. It doesn’t feel like the sort of play to take place in any other season. You can all fight me on this in the comments, I have no evidence to back up this claim. Anyway, they’re all wear jackets. Because it’s fall.

-As Kent and Gloucester say their first lines, they take their jackets off. It’s hot inside the palace. Edmund leaves his jacket on. It’s not a heavy jacket. He’ll be fine.

-As Gloucester finishes up his first line “...can make choice of either’s moiety” he hands his jacket to Edmund. He does this in a very natural way- it’s clear this is something he does instinctively, without thinking about it. Edmund takes it. He takes it instinctively as well, without thinking about it.

-Kent, watching this says the line “Is not this your son, my lord?”. As in “hey dude. Isn’t he your kid? Why are you treating him like a servant or a coatrack?”

-at “His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge”, Gloucester puts a hand on Edmund’s shoulder in a “yes this is my son” sort of way. He does that a bit too roughly- not in any attempt to hurt Edmund, but definitely showing that he’s doing it for show and not in genuine fatherly affection.

-While Gloucester talks about Edmund, a waiter goes around with champagne glasses. Maybe they have actual liquid (ie water) in them, maybe not. I don’t care. Anyway, both Gloucester and Edmund take one.

-As Gloucester continues talking, he slowly sips whatever alcoholic beverage is in the champagne glass. (Probably champagne, but hey, I’m no expert on alcohol). NO, this isn’t to imply that he’s only speaking Like That (TM) because he’s drunk. He is not drunk.

-meanwhile Edmund downs the whole glass, in the standard theatre way of “I don’t wanna be here and I don’t wanna deal with this”

-Gloucester hands his empty glass to Edmund. He seems to suddenly remember that Edmund is, in fact, there. He says him line “Do you know this noble gentleman, Edmund?”

-At “my services to your lordship” he would bow or something (I don’t know English nobility etiquette, sorry), but he’s currently holding two glasses and a jacket, so he partially bows to the best of his ability.

ACT 1 SCENE 2

- A main set piece for this play would be a door or two on wheels that can be moved around. People really like entering and exiting buildings.

-ANYWAY. Edmund comes in through said door, currently located at the back of the stage. Gloucester house have a portrait of Gloucester family in huge on the wall. Gloucester’s in the middle, with Edgar on one said and Edmund on the other. At this point this should go without saying, but the gap between Gloucester and Edmund is much larger than the gap between Gloucester and Edgar. There’s also a desk and chair somewhere on stage.

-As he starts his first soliloquy, he takes off his jacket that he was wearing in scene 1 and drapes it over the back of the chair

-at “legitimate Edgar, I must have your land”, he turns towards the portrait and looks at Edgar. Then there’s a pause in the soliloquy as he goes over to the desk and writes The Letter (TM). Then he continues the soliloquy with “Our father’s love is to the bastard Edmund..”

-Gloucester enters. He doesn’t notice Edmund.

-As Gloucester asks Edmund for the letter, he and Edmund slowly circle around the stage, the way you’d see animals circling when they’re preparing to fight each other. They’re not going to fight. Not directly at least.

-Gloucester doesn’t make direct eye contact with Edmund for most of this scene

-Until he does, at the line “Give me the letter, sir.”. The line itself is said very forcefully. Both Gloucester and Edmund have stopped circling each other. They stand at opposite ends of the stage. There is a pause, and then Edmund takes the letter back out of his pocket and gives it as he continues saying his lines.

-Gloucester spends the remainder of the scene looking at the letter instead of at Edmund.

-“Edmund, seek him out..” is said very offhandedly, like he’s giving an order to a servant, rather than talking to his own son

-Gloucester leaves, Edmund sinks into the chair at the desk. He puts his head down on the desk and leaves it there for a solid second. He starts his soliloquy with his head still down. (Future Edette Editing: I still want something here to show that Edmund doesn’t get any enjoyment from this- he’s doing it out of anger, or as revenge, or to gain what should have been his, had things been slightly different, or possibly as a means of survival. Basically, he’s not doing this to have a fun time at deceiving anyone) He’s not enjoying what he’s doing- he’s not rejoicing at what is seemingly his success- he sees that it doesn’t make a difference. Gloucester would rather have no sons than only have him.

-Edgar enters. Edgar enters in a great mood. His optimism is turned up to a solid 100%.

-“How now, brother Edmund!” He speed-walks over to Edmund, who’s standing near the middle of the stage at this point. He does something brotherly- I don’t know what that would even mean, given that I am a girl with no brothers. He puts his arm around his shoulder or ruffles his hair or something. That’s the vibe I’m going for. The “haha yeah we’re siblings and we totally get along” vibe. Edmund is, however, not vibing.

(-if the second option is what we’re going with, Edmund takes a moment to fix his hair. A very short moment, but a moment none the less)

-Edgar notices that Edmund does not seem to be vibing, and that’s when he continues with his line “what serious contemplation are you in?”

- at “..go armed”, Edmund hands Edgar his own sword. This is the sword Edgar will later use to kill him.

ACT 2 SCENE 1

- On Edmund’s conversation with Curan: This is the first conversation Edmund’s having with someone without there being any uncomfortable tension between them. They talk in a casual way, and it’s clear that outside of the play they would be friends, regardless of status. Why would they be friends? Because I decided they should be.

-Edgar is doubly armed- with Edmund’s sword and with his own. He was planning on returning Edmund’s sword. When they “fight” Edgar uses Edmund’s sword and Edmund uses Edgar’s. They have different types of swords- Edmund’s- which is now Edgar’s- is slightly shorter and lighter. Edgar’s- which is now Edmund’s- is a two handed sword. These details are slightly irrelevant, but I feel like their weapon of choice (even though they’re using each other’s weapons (ie not their weapons of choice)) should match their personalities.

- Edgar just. Has NO idea what’s up with Edmund’s “hey we gotta sword fight now” thing. It should be clear to the audience that he’s ONLY going along with it because he trusts Edmund entirely.

-during the fight, Edmund slashes the family portrait with his sword, cutting a line between Edgar and Gloucester. Is this cliche? Yes. Must it happen anyway, because ✨symbolism✨? Yes.

-Edgar leaves through The Door I keep talking about

- Edmund stabs his non-dominant arm. This is relevant and important.

- “But where is he?” Gloucester hasn’t even noticed at this point that Edmund was injured in the “fight”. “Look, sir, I bleed!” Is Edmund’s attempt to get Gloucester’s attention. It’s his way of saying “I got injured for YOUR sake. THAT’S how good of a son I am!!”

- “where is the villain, Edmund?” The word “villain”, not the word “Edmund” is emphasized. While his seemingly innocent a son is standing there with his arm stabbed and bleeding, he’s more concerned with the son who supposedly plotted against him, but is currently running away now and is of no threat to him.

- (this is the point where I get really into @suits-of-woe’s Cornwall theory, because while I had never thought of it before, as soon as I read it I agreed with it completely. Please go read the theory if you haven’t already.)

- While Gloucester rarely looks at Edmund, Cornwall’s eyes go straight to Edmund as soon as he enters the room. Edmund doesn’t notice- he’s too busy trying to support his stabbed arm in a functional way without bleeding everywhere

-while Gloucester and Regan are talking, Cornwall calls a servant aside and whispers to him. The servant leaves. He asked the servant to get Edmund bandages because his arm has LITERALLY been STABBED and no one’s doing anything about it.

- Edmund’s focused on his arm until Cornwall’s line of “Edmund, I hear that you have shown your father a very child-like office”. Finally, someone appreciates him! At “It was my duty, sir”, it’s clear that there’s some sort of understanding between them. They somewhat get that they’re on the same side. There is a short pause.

- “...and received this hurt you see” Gloucester, being Gloucester, grabs Edmund’s injured arm to “show it off” to Regan and Cornwall. Edmund, master of hiding his emotions and such, winces for a millisecond but then goes back to “ah yes everything is ok and I am totally not condensed rage in human form”.

(Future Edette Editing: I am *so glad* I’m editing this because I really don’t like some of the stuff I shoved in here to try to cater this to a larger audience)

-after “..how in my strength you please”, that servant Cornwall called returns. As he says “For you, Edmund, whose virtue and obedience..” until the end of that paragraph Cornwall takes the bandage and bandages Edmund’s arm- I mean no one else is gonna do it. That, combined with the content of what Cornwall says in the paragraph, lead Edmund to be like “wait. Is this?? A father figure???” “a father figure? For ME???”

(-Hence the Cornwall theory I mentioned earlier)

- “I shall serve you, sir, truly, however else” this is the first line he’ll say in a way that it’s clear to everyone (mainly the audience) that he’s 100% sincere. He’s not trying to be deceptive. He’s not trying to trick anyone. He says it softly and truly means it.

-Edmund’s arm remains bandaged for the remainder of the play. (It’s not heavily bandaged or anything)

ACT 2 SCENE 2

- At “How now! What’s the matter?..” Edmund comes out holding Edgar’s- which is now his, I guess- sword. He’s holding it well enough, considering it’s a two handed sword and he just stabbed himself in the arm, but it’s pretty clear that he won’t be able to win a fight with it. Don’t worry, he’ll get a new sword before his final duel.

-at “no more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers” “his” is referring to Gloucester, not Edmund. This isn’t because Cornwall is ignoring Edmund, it’s because that’s just the order they’re standing in. Edmund entered this scene first out of the four of them, so while Kent and Oswald are on one side of the stage, Edmund stands towards the middle, and Cornwall, Gloucester, and Regan stand at the other side.

ACT 3 SCENE 3

-Gloucester is angry in this scene. Why is he angry? Because I say so. He says all his lines in an angry and bitter way. Which may be counterproductive- having Gloucester be angry about how Lear is treated may make him more likable, which isn’t my goal. But I don’t care.

-Edmund says his paragraph at the end in a bitter and angry way too. Because ✨ parallels ✨

ACT 3 SCENE 5

-Cornwall is Gloucester’s opposite when it comes to how they react to/ treat Edmund. While Gloucester rarely looks at him and has an anti-magnetic effect, Cornwall stands near Edmund on the stage and looks at him both when he’s speaking to him and when Edmund’s replying. And not in a “good eye contact is important” sort of way, because Edmund faces away from people when he lies to them. Just for staging reasons, not because he can’t lie when facing people.

-Cornwall knows Edmund’s lying- he shows this by constantly moving so that he’s nearly always standing beside him instead of behind him (not actually directly behind him; scroll up for General Staging, where I explained this.)

-At “go with me to the duchess” Cornwall puts a hand on Edmund’s shoulder, directly paralleling Gloucester in Act 1 Scene 1. Because I really like ✨parallels✨. Except Cornwall, the same guy who said “thou shalt find a dearer father in my love”, does this in a much more- fatherly, I guess?- way than Gloucester did.

-At “if the matter of this paper be certain...” Edmund does what he does when he lies; ie tries to turn away and takes maybe half a step back. He pretty much trusts Cornwall enough to not walk halfway across the stage when he lies, but not enough for him to either lie directly to his face (or just tell the truth, I guess- but that’s because the whole point of this is to stick to the original script and use only stage directions to make Edmund more sympathetic).

-At “True or false, it has made thee earl of Gloucester...” Cornwall puts his other hand on Edmund’s other shoulder (wow I’m bad at describing things)

Here are some stock photos to help ya visualize this-

THIS is putting one hand on a shoulder. Note that the two people aren’t necessarily facing each other.

AND THIS is putting both hands on shoulders-

(So imagine that, but minus how aggressive that looks, and minus one of the people’s arms. Also a whole lot less tense/intense.) (Anyway. Moving on.)

-at “thou shalt find a dearer father in my love” (...cue me googling “how on earth do fathers show affection?” Because I really want to get the point across that edmund’s like “a father figure??? For me???” And Cornwall’s like “👍. A father figure. For you.”) HECK I GOT IT. Hear me out. Cornwall pats Edmund on the head (in like, a fatherly way), and with the other hand hold The Letter (TM) (even though this is a different “the letter”) and looks it over. This is the first time he looked away from Edmund since this conversation started. In a way that portrays “yes you are my son now I have claimed you as my own” but also “you are not necessarily my top priority- I can give you the fatherly love and affection you desire, but it’s not exactly unconditional. You did well today, good job! You keep up the good work and I’ll keep up my end of this; ie providing you with the fatherly love you never received in your childhood” ( @suits-of-woe I am trying here. I am struggling. I’m so sorry for ruining the Cornwall Theory like this- I’m trying my best to convey it via my amazing stage directions, but I can see pretty clearly that I’m epically failing at this).

ACT 3 SCENE 7

-Cornwall walks onto the stage first, followed by Goneril and Regan close behind them, and Edmund last.

-at “Farewell, sweet lord, and sister”, Cornwall nods at Goneril in response (this has nothing to do with Edmund, I always just thought it was weird that he doesn’t respond)

- at “Edmund,.. farewell” Goneril had already left the stage, Regan is standing next to Cornwall at the opposite end of the stage. Edmund’s about to exit when Cornwall says “Edmund”. He turns around- expecting Cornwall to say something more to him or something. There’s a pause. Cornwall doesn’t have anything else to say. He just says “Farewell”. Edmund nods and leaves the stage.

ACT 4 SCENE 2

-oh heck I gotta stage an Edmund and Goneril scene now

-I don’t wanna?

(Future Edette Editing: and so I won’t!! I don’t normally describe things as cringe, but that’s what this was. I only put this in because I felt obligated to talk about every scene. Oh well- I guess 4.2 isn’t getting stage directions from me)

ACT 5 SCENE 1

-Edmund enters first, dressed in some sort of military commander uniform. Because. Like. There’s a war going on. His sleeves are rolled up/cuffed up to elbow length, and his arm is still bandaged from when he stabbed it.

-there is a tent with a desk in it on stage. Hold on let me illustrate this:

(Future Edette Editing: yeah there was an illustration here, but I’m changing some stuff so I deleted it)

It’s all on wheels so it can be moved around the stage- whichever piece is the most important to the scene will be more up front.

-Edmund stands at the desk which has some military plans of some sort on it.

-Edmund is armed with a brand new sword (Cornwall’s sword? Maybe? Who knows?) (UPDATE: yeah hi future Edette here- I decided that it is, in fact, Cornwall’s sword)

-With Regan, Edmund also doesn’t get that she’s flirting with him right away.

-and then. Then he’s like “OH WAIT” “WAIT SHE’S FLIRTING” “WAIT SO I GOT 2 GIRLFRIENDS??” “OH WOW THIS IS FANTASTIC” “THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE” (lol Edmund it’s also the last week of your life)

-he 100% realized at “No, by mine honor, madam”.

-Albany stands at the opposite end of the desk. He never moves any closer or further from Edmund than the opposite end of the desk. Goneril would have moved closer but Albany is blocking her.

-as Edmund leaves he puts on his military commander hat of some sort and adjusts it while looking in a mirror or some other reflective surface. Just to show he’s still the same Edmund from act one- he still cares about his appearance to an extent.

-at “the enemy’s in view, draw up your powers.” Edmund half-jogs in back onto the stage- showing that he wasn’t just commanding the soldiers ( if he was he’d have been walking at a moderate pace), but he was actually with them, to some extent, fighting along side them on the battlefield.

- (Future Edette Editing here: yeah so I deleted the notes on the soliloquy here. I didn’t like them. Oh well.)

ACT 5 SCENE 3

-wow it’s hard to make this Edmund guy redeemable/sympathetic when he kills off Cordelia. Like. He really didn’t need to do that

-why, Edmund. Why must you do this.

-you’re making my job here (ie to make you sympathetic) very difficult.

-ANYWAY. I’ll do what I can for this scene

-The captain here? Yeah, he’s Curan from earlier. Edmund made him a captain. There you have it, Edmund’s one semi-redeeming factor for this scene

-I really don’t know how to have this part play out in a way that makes the audience sympathize with Edmund. This is the best I can do.

(Future Edette Editing: yeah so honestly killing off Cordelia and Lear was a logical and strategic move to make, tbh. ((Not morally fantastic. But logical.)) Because yeah Albany would have left them alive and then what? They’d get the throne? Let’s be real here- the country’s already collapsing- the last thing you need is Lear or Cordelia on the throne. Even *Albany* would do a better job than either of them. And he wouldn’t do anything at all. So. Yeah.)

-I’m so burnt out right now I know this isn’t the quality content you came here for but I don’t know how to get this back on track either. ANYWAY I am dedicated to finishing this. Let’s go! There isn’t much left to the play! I’m almost done!

-at “Sir, by your patience, I hold you but a subject of war..” Albany speaks in a very harsh tone- talking to Edmund as if he were a child who interrupted class for like the eighth time that day. Albany’s just salty that his wife likes Edmund more than him.

(Future Edette Editing: Sorry if this doesn’t flow well here anymore- I deleted a bunch of stuff)

-as the argument continues, Regan and Goneril get more frantic because they see they’re not winning.

-Albany gets louder and angrier because he’s frustrated that his wife likes Edmund more than she likes him. Also because at this point, he pretty much hates Edmund.

-Edmund, however, is the quietest out of all the yelling people around him. He doesn’t like arguments- or rather, he doesn’t like when he’s the one the argument is directed towards. He tries to stay calm and talk in a level voice. As everyone around him argues he tries to step in between them and silently play the role of peacekeeper.

-at “Nor in thine, my lord” Edmund is still calm./ not yelling at him. He says it like he’s stating a fact, not contributing to the argument.

-at “half blooded fellow, yes!” My book’s translation to modern english say “Bastard, it is!”. And like. No one’s called him a bastard for like 4 whole acts now. All I have to say to this is Big Oof. (Is that a dead meme? Yeah. Probably.) Edmund is surprised at first- then glares at him- in a way saying “oh? You want to go there? We can go there. I’ll gladly fight you with my own two hands.”

-at “I will mainly my truth and honor” he draws his sword, which I have now decided definitely is Cornwall’s sword. Why does he have it? Idk, Regan probably gave it to him.

-As Edgar and Albany talk before the fight, Edmund swings his sword at nothing in particular- the way you’d see people warming up for a fight. This sword is not a two handed sword, so he’ll be fine even with his stabbed arm. As I mentioned earlier, he stabbed his non-dominant arm, so his sword arm is fine.

-at “In wisdom I should ask thy name..” he does something to indicate that he might know it’s Edgar. What does he do? I don’t know. Something with a whole lot of ✨symbolism✨. I’ll figure it out before posting this. Or maybe I won’t. (Future Edette Editing: Yeah so I figured out what to do here slightly after, and I have a whole post about it- but to sum it up, he looks at the *mysterious masked man*’s sword (which as you may recall was his). And he’s like “oh. Oh. Ok then.”)

-they fight. Edgar (as I previously mentioned) is using the sword Edmund gave him at the beginning. Edmund is using Cornwall’s sword.

-As they fight it’s clear that they’re pretty evenly matched. (I mean. Then again, Edmund was just helping in battle like two seconds ago while Edgar was just chilling with his half dead/dead father. So. Edmund’s trying to win a duel after just doing a bunch of exhausting physical activity while Edgar is not.) (Edmund would win if they were fighting when they were both at their strongest)

-(I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I’m gonna restate it so that you don’t mess up on how you imagine the fight going down. There’s only one valid interpretation of it, and it’s my own interpretation. That has literally never been used in any production. Yup. That’s the only valid way to imagine the duel.) ANYWAY. As they fight, Edmund seems to be about to win, when Edgar hits his already stabbed arm. Edmund loses focus in that one moment, because. Like. That’s painful. (I was gonna say he drops his sword, but does he? Does that work? I don’t know. If he does or doesn’t, it’s valid either way). Then Edgar stabs him. With is kinda even more painful, and somewhat fatal.

-After he’s stabbed, some random soldier brings him to the tent toward the back of the stage, where he stays until he’s brought off stage

Here’s an illustration to help you picture this:

-Edmund is more focused on his wound than the conversation. His tone and body language for the rest of the play conveys “You won! I lost! I’m sorry! Can I get medical attention now??”

-Headcanon that Edmund would have lived if he would have gotten some medical attention sooner

-at “yet Edmund was beloved” he does a little sarcastic laugh (not like a laugh laugh, more like a cynical nose exhale?)- he sees the irony of how all three of them trying to take their rightful power, and all dying at the same time as a result of it.

-while Edmund tells them they still have time to save Cordelia, he sinks down/lies down. He already accepted the fact that he’s going to die.

-while he’s delivering this news, Edgar and Albany look at him in shock and then at each other. From there to the rest of the scene, no one looks at Edmund again. Not because they don’t like him, just because they find him irrelevant now (which Albany outright states a few lines from here).

-When Albany tells the soldiers to take Edmund off the satge/away from there, he doesn’t look at Edmund, he just vaguely motions to him.

-At “Edmund is dead, my lord” “That’s but a trifle here”, Albany barely turns to look at the messenger. He doesn’t care that Edmund is dead. No one does. The wheel has come full circle. No one cared about Edmund at the start, and he’s just as irrelevant now. Edmund wanted to be something to people. He would have wanted them to react to his death. If they had celebrated it, he would have been happier than if they ignored it. He doesn’t even get that much.

-The Curtains Close. The Play Is Over-

#king lear #shakespeare #Do you know how many HOURS went into this??#...because I don’t #I genuinely have no idea how many hours went into this #I was studying for midterms at the same time as writing this #so the hours spent on this and this alone were probably around 5?#5 hours sounds legit

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ayellowcurtain · 3 years

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Do you think that the fans would be more forgiving of romi if she wore a bikini in a post with a caption that reads: "i have learned", similar to DS? What I'm really saying is do you think the fandom gender bias will ever allow women the same liberties as men. Even in fiction Aaron is straight up being coddled now, (and some how all vildes are babied), jens is still a stand up guy and Moyo's ill deeds have been cleared, though i think that last one depends on where you do your fanning out

I don't think it's the same thing.

DS was a one time mistake in the past, and Romi had 10 weeks not only to educate herself but the audience she got with the role. Her “fans” that didn't think what her character did was troubling or racist and kept trying to justify her racism throughout the season. It wasn't just her mistakes per say (even though she had one on instagram while the season was airing) but her silence during the whole season that felt like a justification of her character's actions. DS apologized for a mistake his younger self did. Was maybe a short, kinda “distracting”, shallow apology that didn’t really fix much? Yes, sure, but like I said, it was a one time thing he had to apologize that he had made a couple of years back. Romi had the whole season 4, and after to say a word about it and she didn’t. And, like I said before, she was a main, he wasn’t, and she already some fans before the show, while DS was basically not as famous before season 3. So could have used her platform that was already existing, and probably grew a tiny bit during season 4 to educate, share information, apologies, etc. DS did what he thought he had to do at that point for a prior mistake that happened once.

We live in a racist, macholand world so yeah, I do think out roots are deep when it comes to gender bias and sometimes people will find it easier to excuse a man’s behavior than a woman’s. I don’t think that’s the case but I can only speak for myself. Sadly, big part of our society, still while wanting and trying to be feminist, will have behaviors, or thoughts, or judgment that comes from a long history of the woman always being wrong, loud, obnoxious, extreme, etc, etc. So we have to always be aware of what we say, of how we behave to start changing that mindset. I think it’ll take some time for the world society to START changing the gender bias that we still live. And it won’t happen all at once because some don’t even have the privilege to think about those issues. So it’ll take time and patience for all of us women to learn and to kindly correct and inform each other about our rights and not judge as much.

I don’t see Aaron being coddled as much, especially in the show, with Elias and Yasmina’s behavior with him. I loved his scene with Elias’ and the way Elias handled the situation, standing up for himself and for his sister but also not “cancelling” Aaron if he’s saying he’ll try to not let is dumb, racist brain act that way again. The way Aaron is being treated right now feels a lot like the way the Vilde character is treated in every skam remake and OG. I never really liked the Vilde character so I guess you can understand what I think of that.

From the way Elias explained to Yasmina about what happened, I assume Aaron is the one with more fix up to do but Jens, compared to what the general Jonas is, is falling behind all the others. Even with what Nathan said in their Q&A, I guess Jens is a man of few words because when he opens his mouth too much, he oftens says things the fandom wouldn’t appreciate as much. He was sort of an ass to Jana, and to Robbe, so it’s not a new thing that Jens is involved in something not right but that’ll be brushed off because he wasn’t the main person to participate in the situation. I don’t hate Jens, I actually sort of like him but again, if we think he’s a Jonas, he’s a let down of what he could be.

I don’t think Moyo’s ill deeds have been cleared but I do think WTFock tries to make it seem like his problems with Robbe (and Sander with the stories from this weekend) are in the past. Since the end of Robbe’s season, at least in my head, based on canon proof such as insta posts, season 4 and the start of season 5, it feels like the boysquad is more a Robbe x Moyo and Jens x Aaron type of group. And based on what we know of Sander, I doubt he would be friends with someone that might treat him badly. And that’s even bigger if we’re talking about Sander seeing Robbe being treated badly. I don’t think Sander and Moyo would even hang out together if Moyo was still the guy we knew in season 3. The same goes for Robbe but he’s a little nicer than Sander so I could see him being a little too fast to accept Moyo back but I really can’t see Sander being that easy.

In short, the fictional characters we’re talking about are all flawed, some more than others, their arcs are different, some arcs are non existing.

The real people behind other characters made mistakes and are paying for them. Some more than others, some justifications inside the fandom might come from the gender bias (and also affection people have for their characters that slip to the real people behind it) but I don’t think that’s MY case. My personal opinion is that Romi’s mistakes are indeed, bigger than DS`s because, let’s be nice and give her five weeks to look around and understand K*** was a racist, she then had 5 weeks (and basically six months until this new season) to share some knowledge, give a platform to the voice that should actually be heard about racism. And she never said a word about it. A single “I have learned” apology does not go a long way, but it’s better than a complete silence. I hope DS actually learned from his mistake and Romi too and that they’ll turn into better humans.

#we could also talk about how Romi is an adult and DS was a teenager but I don’t wanna go there #because people can excuse a lot of things because of age #but yeah Romi is older than DS was both the fuck ups happened

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comradekatara · 5 years

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let’s talk about ty lee

there’s this one, very overlooked line from “the beach” that I just find fascinating. ty lee is trying to pacify zuko, at which he yells

to which ty lee sighs and responds quietly, wistfully

the reading of this line betrays a sadness on ty lee’s part that brings out an otherwise unforeseen maturity.

anyone paying enough attention can tell that ty lee is smarter than she lets on. she and mai are both protecting themselves against azula’s manipulation in different ways. it’s a two-sided dance: azula brazenly manipulating mai and ty lee, and mai and ty lee subtly manipulating azula. azula knows that they fear her and are only there by coercion, and she openly uses this to her advantage. but she does not anticipate either of their betrayals, and this speaks volumes to how ty lee wears a mask of naiveté that [almost] never cracks.

make it impossible for her to disagree with you by complimenting her.

mention auras whenever you want the conversation to change tracks.

feign innocence.

make her jealous by flirting with boys. (that one’s just for fun.)

this whole scene, and every scene, she is looking for levity wherever she may find it. she is the peacekeeper; she knows how fragile their group is, all the underlying tensions bubbling beneath, constantly on the verge of overflowing. she’ll make vapid remarks whenever she feels like anyone is about to lose control of their emotions and say too much and/or hurt someone.

but here, ty lee’s tone does a 180. she lets her perky cheerleader persona fall, because she’s overwhelmed with sympathy for zuko. frankly, if she had slapped zuko across the face this episode, i would not have complained, because zuko in this episode is peak Little Bitch. but his insufferableness in this episode only further speaks to ty lee’s sadness at seeing him in this state.

ty lee did not know him during his banishment. she saw him as a child, and she saw him after ba sing se fell, where he was basically just introduced as the latest player in azula’s posse. azula used the same coercion tactics on him to make sure he never strayed too far, and it’s clear to anyone (because zuko is...not subtle) that he is unhappy here, with them. she never saw zuko in his Ponytail Phase. she never saw him yell “I DON’T NEED ANY CALMING TEA” and stomp around burning things.

so when she sees him again, to us as the audience, he’s actually calmed down quite a bit. but to ty lee, the change is drastic. for one thing, half his face has been burned off since she last saw him. again, to us, this is how he is introduced, and it just feels like a natural part of his face. but to anyone who only knew him before the age of 13, they’d be quite horrified to encounter his scar. it is not clear whether she knows the specifics of his banishment, or what exactly happened. well, that is, before zuko yells at her, “my father decided to teach me a permanent lesson on my face!” which... yeah, elucidates the situation pretty nicely.

but even more so than the scar is his seeming personality transplant. before his banishment, zuko was terrible at performing the way azula is. some of that is simply the fact that azula is also far better at lying to herself, and convincing herself that ozai’s feelings are her own. zuko is painfully transparent. especially in contrast to someone like ty lee, he wears his heart on his sleeve (and you can bet daws peck at it). ty lee knows zuko as he was before he was warped by that severe trauma, so she knows him as he truly is. whenever i watch this episode, i can only scream “this zuko is not my boy!!!!” and i’m willing to bet ty lee feels the same. instead of being earnest, idealistic, kindhearted, and sensitive, zuko is just yelling all over the place and treating her best friend like shit. it’s horrible to watch.

and yet, ty lee can’t find it in herself to be frustrated by his behavior, only saddened. so when he yells “you don’t know me,” what he’s saying is “you don’t know what i’ve been through,” and while that may be true, ty lee did see his life before that. his childhood paints a relative picture of what his life would have been like in a vacuum. sure, he’s still suffering under ozai’s abuse, his mother’s disappearance, lu ten’s death and iroh’s consequent grief, but before the agni kai, he’s still an idealist who cares about people and isn’t afraid to speak his mind in favor of what he believes is right.

zuko was routinely punished for showing kindness, because kindness = weakness, but even though he was punished for it, he still trusted his instincts and remained kind. that is, until he got banished for “speaking out of turn.” how could he have been in the right in that situation when clearly his father who loves him would never have done such a thing unless he had committed an egregious crime? so he tries to behave the way he thinks ozai would want him to behave, and bases his decisions off of what he thinks his father wants, convincing himself that these must be the right decisions, and that his instincts are wrong. thus, he feels tremendous guilt when doing the right thing, and he feels tremendous guilt when doing the wrong thing––and it is only once he confronts his father, and acknowledges that ozai had been the one in the wrong the whole time, does he learn to trust his instincts again.

it’s obviously a tragic situation, and therefore ty lee’s cognitive dissonance between this zuko and the one she knew is enough to break her facade, for even a moment. she wants to reach out to him, she wants to help him, but with azula there, she knows she cannot.

look at how this shot in “the boiling rock (part 2)” is positioned. azula is in the background, with ty lee in the foreground. here she is realizing that azula would just let them all die, let her brother die, without a care. but we know that ty lee does care. ty lee’s fighting style is specifically one of fully incapacitating people without truly hurting them. and even when they took ba sing se, azula made sure not to kill anyone. but now, here she is, not only letting strangers die, but letting zuko die.

ty lee is not faced with the decision between saving zuko and betraying azula (and it seems like she cares more about not incurring azula’s wrath than she is about finding a way to help them) because mai makes that decision for her, and ty lee only acts when it’s clear azula is about to strike mai. if mai “loves zuko more than [she] fears [azula],” then ty lee loves mai more than she fears azula. this is significant, because up until this point, we––as well as azula––are pretty much convinced that ty lee worships her. and say, for argument’s sake, that she does. then we can look to this moment on the gondola as a turning point. ty lee realizing that azula would not hesitate to kill zuko would cause ty lee to want to turn against her, and azula forces her hand when it looks like she is about to kill mai.

but i don’t even think it’s as simple as that. because ty lee’s not dumb. she knows what azula is capable of. this is why she behaves just so sycophantically towards her. azula trusts mai because she deems her too apathetic to act on a moral code, and would instead act only in her own self-interest, and in a sense, she’s right. but mai won’t let zuko die, which azula did not anticipate because she assumed that because she was the one who engineered their relationship, that meant that their relationship would work on her terms. she thought the same of mai and ty lee, that because they were only friends through her, they would choose her over each other. but obviously, they wouldn’t.

meanwhile, ty lee knows that azula likes her not just as an asset, but as a person. and she knows that the more she flatters azula’s ego, and the more she pledges her loyalty, the more azula will like her. azula clearly cares about mai and ty lee. their betrayal hurts her on a personal level that she isn’t willing to admit, but incites a breakdown nonetheless. you can see that even in the beginning of “the southern raiders,” azula is starting to come loose at the seams. and by the time that ozai demonstrates to her that he does not truly love her, all the bonds in her life have been broken. she falls apart because to her, she has just been handed empirical proof that she is incapable of being loved. and so she loses it completely.

ty lee let azula feel loved, even if said love was only expressed in dramatic compliments, the illusion of obsequiousness, and paper-thin loyalty. this scene, at the beach, shows us ty lee’s internality in a way we very rarely see throughout the show.

it’s clear that she cares. to be able to manipulate people as well as ty lee manipulates azula, one must be able to read people incredibly well. it’s obvious that ty lee possesses uniquely adept social skills, and it’s obvious that zuko, well.........does not. ty lee is an incredibly quick-thinking performer. very rarely does she not know how to talk her way out of a situation. we only see two instances wherein she does not:

when she is confronted by multiple boys at once asking her to pick one, (sidenote: dykon???????????) and when she must save mai.

even though it’s clear that she easily could, punching her way out of a situation is ty lee’s last resort. though azula’s priorities lie elsewhere in assessing ty lee’s usefulness, it is evident that personally, ty lee values her people skills over her fighting skills.

she wants to resolve this conflict not through violence, but through communication. zuko is making it particularly difficult because he keeps lashing out, but she can tell exactly what he is thinking and feeling because his behavior is so readily apparent. when the audience is introduced to zuko, we are led to assume that he is an inherently angry person. and yes, even as a child, he has always had a bit of a temper. but zuko behaves particularly egregiously in this episode, and ty lee is acutely aware that this is not his neutral state. this behavior is a response to an inner turmoil that becomes painfully obvious when he burns a portrait of his family.

ty lee confronts him about it and he says, “whatever. i don’t care,” to which ty lee sadly responds, “i think you do care.” thus the exchange that leads to ty lee’s most revealing moment. the line, the wistfulness behind its delivery, lets us infer so much about ty lee. she is more perceptive than she lets on, and more caring, too. if azula had only been paying attention, she would have known that her betrayal hadn’t come out of nowhere, not remotely. but to paraphrase mai, azula doesn’t know people as well as she thinks she does. because ty lee played her like a fiddle.

#ty lee #analysis #zuko #azula #mai #azulaxtylee #maixtylee #tylee&zuko #this analysis is kind of all over the place but you guuuuyyyyssssssssss #i love ty lee #sidenote #mai and ty lee are .....what the kids call........an otp????????#ok im done now

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carinyms · 3 years

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(I don’t know if anyone who follows me even watches Loki, but if you do and feel compelled to analyze it with someone please hmu, because no one I personally know cares about this show and listen I care SO MUCH)

Anyway, here’s an extremely disjointed thought dump on episode three, it’s a lot :)

1. I got so much serotonin from them playing that Hayley Kiyoko song over the opening credits, oh my god.

2. I love Sylvie, I LOVE her. Just an iconic badass—so snarky, so powerful. 10/10. (When she took that cape off?? That outfit?? This whole show is just Bi Panic for me) I’m sure they’re setting her up to be very sympathetic and then she will inevitably stab Loki in the back at some point, and you know what that’s fine.

3. Their screen chemistry and banter is incredible, nearly on the same level as the scenes with Mobius and Loki. (Which is good bc speaking of which, I miss Owen Wilson). I can’t wait till we get a scene with all three of them working together, it will be fantastic.

4. God, I want to see Loki truly in full power just annihilate someone in a fight just once. I do think it’s purposeful that we’re not seeing that right now — the writers can’t seriously think the audience collectively forgot that this guy took down 5 (6?) dark elves with his hands bound and now he can’t throw a knife and hit a target that's not even moving?? There has to be a reason. I’m choosing to have faith in Kate Herron here. (But I’m tired of seeing him getting tossed around like a sack of potatoes :( )

5. I think Sylvie explaining how to enchant someone has to be foreshadowing, right? By the end of the series, either Loki will have puzzled out how to do it and tap into Sylvie’s mind, or vise versa, Sylvie will get into Loki’s head an unearth something nasty (This is SO dumb of me to hope for, I’m setting myself up for disappointment, but maybe Thanos memories here?? I’m really going full fanfic narrative with this one lol but wow can you imagine.)

6. Or, Loki will use this tactic to get into Mobius’ head and wake him up to the truth. (Also, can we talk about how concerned he was when he was like, ‘But the TVA workers don’t know they’re variants!!” Loki you little SOFTIE. Headcanon that he’s now not gonna want to hurt any of the TVA workers because they’re all brainwashed and our guy knows a thing or two about that?? BEGGING the show to acknowledge this. (Please, could we have a little bit of recognition of trauma Marvel? As a treat?)

(I will be let down lol)

7. Speaking of the brainwashed TVA workers, I have questions about how this works. Mobius remembers jet skis, but Casey didn’t know what a fish was? Is it just because Casey doesn’t work in the field? Does Mobius just have a stronger mind that Ravonna has to keep continuously wiping because he remembers snippets? That would explain the multiple water rings on her table they drew attention to— but why would the TVA let him have that magazine if they didn’t want their agents remembering anything??

8. Also, uhh…Is Ravonna a timekeeper? This is a theory that keeps popping up for me.

9. Loki and Sylvie’s conversation on the train was wonderful.

10. We LOVE a confirmed Bicon.

11. Him talking about and remembering Frigga, and his viewpoint on love feels like lines out of a fanfic come to life and I love it. Part of me is like “this level of vulnerability feels OOC” (and don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of other things that felt truly OOC) but this particular aspect feels more like we’re seeing a more apathetic, carefree, nihilistic version of Loki than we’ve ever seen, so maybe he’s just given up on the masks? Anyhow, I love this side of his character we’re seeing.

12. Loki singing in Norwegian. That is all.

12.2 Actually no, that’s not all. It had such ‘Aragorn singing at his coronation vibes’, in that it both caught me extremely off-guard and got me very emotional. Apparently the lyrics (someone translated) are all about missing home, and wow he’s really just missing his family and a sense of belonging *so much* that he’s chosen to recreate what I’d imagine an Asgardian party was like — getting drunk (although he clearly wasn’t drunk, just acting drunk), singing asgardian songs, smashing the glass on the ground and saying “Another!” (Which we can now assume was just an asgardian custom at parties bc how would he have known Thor did that?) Someone pointed out the planet that they’re on is called Lamentis, and dang this whole episode is all about Loki grieving and longing for what he’s lost? and I’m so hyped for when they end up in Asgard again. I don’t know what will happen but there will be Angst and tears, perfect recipe for a good time.

13. Speaking of Thor, is he going to tell Sylvie about him at some point? Because I will cry. Like, I guarantee it.

14. My only gripe here is that drunk Loki was giving me big Jack Sparrow energy towards the very end and I am Not About That

15. Why does Sylvie understand Norwegian?? This song meant something to her too, clearly, she was getting teary eyed, like it was something she was familiar with and I just have so many questions about how her timeline was different/similar.

16. And going off that, I’m just going to say it—I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW VARIANTS WORK. Because if a variant is created by someone branching from their ‘true path’, wouldn’t every variant have the same base-story? Thus all look the same, have a similar past? (The same parents, the same origin?) I know the TVA’s sacred-timeline thing is all BS, that much is obvious—and Sylvie’s history is making me wonder (that is, if she truly IS a Loki ‘variant’), is the TVA’s description of branched timelines really accurate at all, or are some variants from a fully alternate reality overlapping with this one? I’m trusting they will make this make more sense.

17. I love the moments of humanity we’re getting from Loki, but especially the one where he’s surveying all those people in the town and goes “they’re gonna let these people die…” Like, what a great comparison to Loki in Ragnarok, who goes back and rescues his people because he couldn’t let them die in good conscious when he could do something about it. I like to think that being raised as a prince, there is an inherent feeling of ‘rulers should look after their people” buried under everything, and that what was going through his head was “how could they abandon these people without thought?” I love that even though that was a different Loki, they’re showing (not just telling) that the core of him truly does care about people, and the person he developed into in the original franchise is still there.

18. Also that line perfectly sets up what I’m sure is going to happen in the next episode—that they’ll find a way to escape the planet and save the people (or some of them), which will create a branch and alert the TVA to where they are, thus Loki getting brought back in.

19. the Rolled Up Sleeves look is. mhmm. It’s Good.

20. LOKI CATCHING THAT WHOLE BUILDING WITH HIS MAGIC???? BYE

Alright I’m done now, this was so chaotic, but also I really just wanted to document my thoughts on the show for myself so it's fine

#really shouting into the void with this one #but you know what I spent like an hour trying to organize my thoughts (with mild success) so I'm gonna post it dammit #today is the day I stop being afraid of interacting with anyone on this website #(is it tho)#loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #my disaster son has a show

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thenakedgingerwrites · 3 years

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Cock in a Box (part 1)

How they convinced me I’ll never know. Well, that’s not true. The allure of free alcohol after dropping nearly $17k on my upcoming wedding certainly helped fuel my willingness to participate in this embarrassing contest.

Without going too far into a back story that I’m sure you guys don’t care about, this past weekend was my bachelor party. I was taken to Atlanta by a group of my good buddies and the 7 of us in total were living it up for a long, 3-day weekend in and out of bars, hotels, and strip clubs. It was our first night there when Kevin heard about a bar with an unusual game: Cock in a Box.

The gist: there’s basically a line of glory holes that you stick your junk through for the audience to vote on which they like best. All participants get 2 free drinks (well, of course; no top shelf stuff) BUT the chosen winner gets free drinks all night, whatever they want.

The downside is that if you’re chosen to be the winner, you have to accept the award so everyone would know it was YOUR dick. Apparently pictures are allowed at this bar.

With enough liquid courage in us we all reluctantly agreed to give it a go, some of us probably more excited or terrified than the others. I thought to myself, I’ll get two free drinks and some people will have a picture of my dick but no way to link it back to me. I mean, my cock was fine, Sarah didn’t seem to have any complaints, but I knew I was average at best. I assume the crowd will go for the biggest one and I wager one of my buds is packing something bigger. I’d hate to be them. Or would I? I guess I wouldn’t mind a couple extra inches.

Anyway, we got to the bar and it became clear pretty quickly that this wasn’t a bar catering to female clientele.

“It’s a fucking gay bar, guys!” Brad exclaimed when we got there.

“Well,” Rodger said, “I guess that makes sense. I’ve never really seen a lot of women vying to see a bunch of dicks.”

“That’s not the impression I got from your wife,” Dan joked.

“Oh ha ha ha.”

I spoke the first words of hesitation, “do we still want to go through with this?” It was one thing to be showing my dick to a bunch of female strangers, it was another thing for them to be gay men.

Kevin doubled down, “It’s still free booze. Who knows, someone might even buy me some drinks in an effort to get lucky!”

The group razzed him on that and how not even a troll would find him hot, but I did have to admit he had a point. Our group was, generally, good looking. We’d all taken care of ourselves in the years following college sports and while some of us packed on a few pounds since the glory days we were all still big. I knew gay guys liked that at least.

“It’s Ben’s big weekend, let him make the choice,” said Mike.

Sean, my little brother, was the last of our group to speak, “I’m not a big fan of this idea either, but if Ben’s in… brother solidarity.”

I leaned into the crap Sarah was always spouting out about ‘live in the moment’ or ‘enjoy the ride of life’ and said, “fuck it. Let’s get some free drinks.”

At the front part of the club, Kevin expressed our interest to participate in the game. It quickly surfaced that we were a bachelor party of straight guys and that seemed to tantalize the person taking covers. He let us in for free!

Once we were inside one of the staff ushered us over near the back of the club and explained what we were to do. Apparently we had arrived just on time as the game starts around midnight on Fridays only.

There were 10 boxes near the back part of a stage where I assumed drag shows or beauty contests or something went on. You could get into them from behind the stage so no one could see which one you got into. They were basically just telephone booths made out of plywood. Not super appealing but I guess did the job.

The staff member said once we were in there the MC would start the show and more or less we’d be told what to do from there. They would narrow down contestants by number, which was painted on the outside of the boxes as well as the inside so we knew what number we were.

The guy checked us all out, salivating, and recommended we play with ourselves a bit when we get into the booth to ‘fluff up a bit.’ That idea sort of grossed me out and I knew I wasn’t going to be winning anyway so I already decided this crowd would be getting a soft, limp anonymous dick in exchange for free booze.

It’s probably worth noting that all my buddies and myself included are white(ish). I’m not racist, I swear, but at the small Tennessee college I went to there weren’t many people of color. I say this only to demonstrate that I felt like I had a good level of anonymity since it would be my dick against 9 other dicks that probably looked like mine.

The staff guy said to choose a booth when Sean asked where the other 3 guys were. There were 10 booths and we only made 7. “Oh,” he said, “when management heard you seven were together and straight, he decided to make it just you guys.”

We looked at each other and silently decided if we were still okay with this but I guess what does 3 other dudes matter. I guess now we knew one of us would be getting free drinks. That is, if they accepted their win.

We all walked up and into our respective booths. Kevin was beside me to the left and Dan was to my right. The other guys filed in. When I got in and drew the curtain behind me for privacy, I realized that I was NOT in box “3” like I thought I would be but “5.”

I heard Kevin yell, “I guess they randomize the box order too.”

Then Sean called out, “That’s good, I was worried you’d be sad when they talked about how small #2’s dick was and we’d all know it was you!”

Laughter among the guys, including myself, rang out.

In the box, there wasn’t much and not a lot of room. There was the infamous hole on the front side about three and a half feet up. I wondered what shorter dudes would do but then I also saw the wooden blocks stacked up on the side. I guess that’s for them to stand on if they don’t reach the hole.

The hole.

I looked at it timidly. My nerves were starting to climb as I realized what I had signed up for. What we had all signed up for. The plywood had been sanded smooth around the lip of the hole so my fear of splinters was gone but not my fear of the unknown number of gay dudes on the other side eagerly awaiting to look at our dicks. MY dick!

I was starting to second guess this whole thing and chicken out. The guys may not let me live that down. Well, I’m not going first at least.

The music faded out after the end of the song and someone cleared their throat into a mic.

“Gooooood evening, queers, steers, and bears. Oh my! Welcome to this week’s Cock in a Box competition. I’m your host, Anita Gudphuck, and we have a super special treat for you men tonight.”

My palms were getting sweaty.

“For you see, tonight we only have 7 contestants…”

Boos erupted from the crowd along with vocal pleads that they wanted to see more dick. I swear, gay people.

“But the seven we have are… straight guys on a bachelor party weekend!!!”

The original distaste for the limited offering turned into an uproar of cheers and whistles. What’s the deal with gay guys liking straight guys so much anyway?

“But, we’re all in for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if we all agree to play by some secret, sexy rules. Will you all play along?”

More cheers from the audience. What did he mean by ‘secret’ rules?

“Okay, now, no one shout out the secret rules as we don’t want our mystery men to know. Up on screen there, you’ll see what to do.”

There was a few moments of silence and then some laughs, some ‘oh my goods,’ and a ton of applause and cheering.

“Do you think you can all follow those rules?”

“YESSSS!” the crowd yelled.

“Okay, well then let’s play Cock in a Box! Straight boys back there, are you ready?”

I didn’t want to shout out but I guess none of my buddies did either. Maybe that would reveal us when we had to go out and get our drinks.

“I’ll take silence as a ‘yes, ma’am!’ Now, get your cocks in hand and ready to be judged! I recommend a few pumps and shakes to liven the guy up.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. How did I let Kevin convince me to do this? How did he convince all of us to do this? I undid my jeans and shucked them down my thighs. Looking at the bulge in my boxer briefs I took a deep breath. There’s no way I can do this right? No way any of us could do this, right?

“Okay boys, Let’s! See! Those! Cocks!”

I stood there for a moment, unwilling to be the first in case this was some sort of prank. The seconds felt like eternity.

“Are all you straight boys shy? Or are you just embarrassed by your tiny dicks?”

The audience laughed and started to call out things along the lines of ‘show us what you’re working with.”

I was sure we had all gotten cold feet when the crowd started applauding.

“There’s our first contestant! Ooo and what a nice dick!” Whistles in the audience agreed with her statement.

“Oh and another! And another! That’s three straight boy dongs right there.”

They’re actually doing it. Fucking hell. Well, tipping my metaphorical hat to Sarah’s dumb slogans, ‘when in Rome…’ I reached into my briefs, pulled my dick out and stepped forward, guiding it through the hole.

Even more cheers through the audience, louder than the others it seemed like.

“Four, Five! That’s some nice looking -- oo Six!”

“Come’on last guy, don’t be shy. Your friends all took the plunge.”

I wonder who was getting cold feet. I noticed now that there was a mild warmth on my dick which I now wagered was spotlights making sure people got good looks.

A final round of applause, “and there he is. Nothing to be ashamed of there, number 8.”

And just like that, we all had our dicks out to a crowd of gay guys on my bachelor party weekend. I didn’t necessarily want to be on the other side, but imagining the site was ridiculous. A long plywood wall with seven cocks sticking out of it with numbers crudely painted above them.

Dicks of straight men in a gay club, selling out the exposure of our junk for a couple free drinks. This would make a weird story to tell in the future I guess, at least among ourselves. I wasn’t planning on sharing this with anyone else.

Little did I know how weird, embarrassing, and hot the night was going to go.

#enm #aware #public #cmnm

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales Della Arc Finale and Shadow Into Light Combo: The Shadow War! or The Last Stand of Lena DeSpell (For at least a year)

Hello all you happy people! And today the two arcs of Ducktales i’ve been covering unite for the season 1 finale! It’s been a hell of a ride: We’ve had a family reborn, gay subtext, a warriors homage, an underground adventure, a vacation with the gods, gay subtext, a giant shark made of money, a trip to old Scotland for some family fun shouting, gay subtext, a trip into Lena’s innermost nightmares that also involved a sasquatch for some reason, a heart stopping reveal, a heartbreaking argument due to said reveal and gay subtext. It’s been a hell of a ride and while the Lena train will go on, I feel both acomplished and happy to have finished up the Della arc in such a short time. Never doing that again mind, as it took up my entire schedule and pushed any other ongoing projects out, but i’m still proud to have pulled it off.

When we last left off.. yesterday, The truth came out, the boys lashed out at Scrooge, Scrooge lashed out at everyone, and we all cried. Now Magica looms, our family is broken again and it’s up to two unlikely people to bring them together again. So join me under the cut for some parent trapping, some adventure and even more Weblena subtext than usual, as we enter the Shadow War.

Part One: Night of De Spell!

I”ve come around on the episodes being treated as two parts in reuruns and on Disney +. They were BUILT to be chunked up later as there are clear breaks between episodes, said chunking is to make reruns on tv easier.. and it makes my job easier as it gives me clear act breaks. I’ll still cover them all in one article, but it makes it easier to recap it when I have two clearly defined acts, something that’s been a struggle when reviewing episodes that just aired like Let’s Get Dangerous! and the Last Adventure!, hence why I switched to breaking down the episode instead for the latter. So I really can’t gripe about something that dosen’t really affect anything negatively, at most it just adds credits to both episodes, and HELPS me a lot.

And it really helps with this one as like most of the episodes for the Della arc... the first half of the finale is two plots that don’t really intersect that much aside from Magica mimicking Scrooge on the phone to keep him from going to the dinner. Other than that they don’t really impact each other until the end of the first part. So i’ll be covering both plots separately, and then just the episode as a whole for part two.

Good. Let’s get quackin.

Everyone But Scrooge and Lena in Parent Trapped:

It’s three days after the end of the last episode and everything still sucks: Webby is desperate to try and get her family back but none of them are hearing it and Dewey and Huey are taking it an extra mile and throwing their mementos from their adventures in the bay. Louie however dosen’t want to and it’s the one bit of an otherwise great episode that does not work for me as he’s not keeping it for sentiment: it’s a solid gold Kopesh. As someone who makes about 30 bucks a month and gladly sells stuff he doesn’t need, this annoys me on a fundamental level. Sell the damn thing and buy yourselves some food or some ninja turtles dvds like me.

So Webby is worried they might leave soon and she’ll be back to almost no one but Launchpad assures her they aren’t going anywhere.. right as Donald, desperate to help the boys cheer up and relating to what their feeling, offers to take them where they always wanted to go: Cape Suzette! Spin it!

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The Sea Ducks’ even on the flier. Baloo was a legend.. I hope he enjoys his retirment on Cocaine Island as Secretary of Goodtimes under President Snowflame. So our dynamic duo spiral into panic at the thought of loosing their family and best friend respectively.

Webby: Someone’s gotta remain calm here Launchpad: So you? Even Launchpad knows he isn’t the adult in the situation between him and an 11 year old girl. So they come up with a plan. It’s time to parent trap those sons of bitches. They’ll host a heartwarming dinner reminding them of all the good times, invite Scrooge as the suprise guest and then spring the parent trap. Probably also sing Let’s Get Together given the two people we’re dealing with and given Beakley’s age she likely showed Webby both. Sidenote... I really wish we’d seen more of these two. It’s a team up we only got this once but both Webby and Launchpad being friendly weirdos with a lot of heart but not a lot of common sense made them the dream team and make this part of the plot hilarious and help lighten the mood given the heavy stakes.

So later that day, we cut to Huey and Lewey who are looking into Cape Suzette.. and find themselves not as excited anymore. They wanted to go all their lives.. but it’s clear that traveling the world.. it’s just another port town, not much more or less adventuerous than Duckburg, and was likely only appealing because it wasn’t here. They’ve flown higher now, seen more and while they won’t admit it... they probably really DON’T want to leave Scrooge forever. it sounded good a few hours ago, it sounded great 6 months ago but now.. it’s just not the same. Dewey is all for it.. but that’s because Dewey was the one who took everything the worst. He put all this effort into finding his mom, into this whole big hunt... and also put all his faith and love and future into scrooge, so having that all puleld out from under him without the maturity to get that he lost a lot too, combined with his natural stubborness, has lead him to dig in. But before hec an convince the other Webby and Launchpad slip them the invitation. The boys accept, probably because with a child’s handwriting it could only be either Webby or Launchpad.. Donald set out traps for Doofus after the last time.

So they take over the kitchen with Donald confused and upset and then just grumpy after.. they explain their making a farewell dinner. And one of them is his friend. And the other one is his boys surrogate sister. And their offering to make him free dinner and brought all the fixings when he’s out of a job

So naturally their attempt at a parent trap is about as subtle as a Killdozer through your living room, with Webby having made replicas of all their adventures out of food. Launchpad provided drinks.. that are melted popscilces (”There’s a riddle on the stick”). God bless you thoughtly dumb thoroughly beautiful man. So naturally this really isn’t working at all, not helped by Scrooge not showing up thanks to Magica, and Beakley showing up because Webby made the crucial mistake of thinking Launchpad could think bout anything but Darkwing Duck, Planes or a Darkwing Duck Shaped planes clearly so he gave her an invitation telling her NOT to come.

Webby’s attempt to get them to remember Scrooge fondly gets no-sold, though in a very touching way as Dewey, clearly sensing what she’s trying to do instead picks Uncle Donald, with Huey, Louie and Launchpad all joining in saying he’s Loyal (Dewey, who also uses it as a jab at scrooge because he’s being a little shit this episode, and not in his usual fun way or Louie’s usual fun way), Thoughtful (Huey), Passionate (Louie) and that he likes his sailor suit (Launchpad). It brings the duck to tears and as a big fan of Donald, I love this a lot and it shows that, even if Dewey is doing it to take a jab at his uncle, they really do love and apricate their uncle and all he did despite perferring scrooge for the last 6 months. They may love their rich uncle.. but Donald’s there Dad and nothing can take that away from him.. not that a lack of an emphasis on his role as their adopted dad in season 3 didn’t try. They love him and wether they realized that because of what happened with Scrooge or always felt this way and just never expressed it, i’ts sweet. For the record I feel while they loved him it took till this for Dewey and Louie to appricate him while Huey, being a sweetheart and the most like him out of the three, always did. Launchpad attempts to use a bouncy castle to fix things for some reason.. the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma.... or just this on a loop.

You make the call. Beakley naturally, being a spy with decades of experince and someone with half a brainn, figured out their parent trapping them.. but to the suprise of both and the audience she agrees. The family’s been apart too long and she’s fully on board with keeping it together. It makes sense both just in the context of season one and with the reveal of the finale. For the former, she’s watched Scrooge be miserable and withdraw for a decade, and was the one who acitvely encouraged him to spend time with the boys. Sure she wasn’t happy about them moving in, but that settled quickly and last episode she was every bit as worried about the boys as she was her own daughter. She WANTS her best friend to be happy and knows he and his family are stubborn as hell, and knows that our dream team’s heart is in the right place.. but they have about a third of a brain cell between them when it comes to social situations. The finale just adds to it by not wanting Webby to loose her dad or the rest of her family because her dad’s being an idiot. And as a third I just thought of, now we know Beakley’s only ever had one family member before joining the McDuck family, she likely wishes she’d had one and dosen’t want Scrooge to loose that. It’s also a VERY touching moment: Webby forgave Scrooge easily out of desperation, Launchpad did because he’s nice.. but Beakley while justifably pissed at the time and pulling Webby out of there til lhe stopped being a shithead, given the “your not family” comment, despite having EVERY reason to shun him too.. she gets that right now her best friend needs her to keep his family from running off.

She also wins easily, making a pie that scrooge liked and taking it away saying they don’t want a reminder of that “awful man”.. before giving them Scrooge’s side of the story, if through double negatives Launchpad dosen’t get. She points out he spent nearly all his money, that their mother was her own woman who made the decision, and that Scrooge spent TEN YEARS looking for her, the entirety of her lives and only stopped because he was on the brink of loosing everything. That starts to turn the boys minus Dewey, but the killing stroke is her pointing out a very simple fact: he lost someone too and all their doing is cutting out their family and costing him more people for something that wasn’t ENTIRELY his fault and he spent a decade trying desperatly to fix.

This gets Donald, whose the first to say they should go home. “This family has been apart too long.” To me, while I wish the show had built it up more.. i’ts Donald realizing how WRONG he was. He shunned his uncle and while he was right to be mad.. Scrooge did everything he could to fix things, and not trying to reconcile cost him a decade with the only family he has left that he cared about. Cost the boys their uncle and is NEVER what his sister would’ve wanted. And now he’s enabling the boys to make the same mistake he did, his own anger in the past making them think their resitment and shunning is okay when it’s not helping anyone. All he’s done is hurt someone he loves, someone who is easily his second father and teach his boys to do the same. That has to stop. It’s a great bit of character.

Huey and Louie are natually easily convinced while Dewey refuses to at first and cries.. before joining in, letting go of his anger too forced to finally realize the truth, or at least what I feel it is: He attacked scrooge because he didn’t want to admit his mom wasn’t perfect, that after all this time he found out she DID do something bad, if not villiaonous, by leaving them and taking the rocket before it was ready, something reckless and selfish, and admitting Scrogoe wasn’t the only one responsible.. was admitting she left him. He finally lets go... just in time for a giant eruption of purple from the mansion. Wuh-oh.. as for why let’s go back a few hours. Boys?

Scrooge and Lena in Night of De Spell!

So a few hours ago Magica is still using Lena’s body, to the point that when Lena is able to force her out for a second she genuinely FORGOT she was there. That’s horrifying..nothing to add there that entire sentence was just really fucking terrifying.

So naturally she plans to use Lena’s body to get back to the mansion only to find out the kids left from Launchpad (this is before he entered the other plot), but gets in anyway by manipulating him by faking that webby said something about him being weak.

That being said.. he is in a VERY bad place, beginning the series running gag of characters eating nothing but Pizza and having pizza boxes everywhere as a sign of depression, as the mansion is littered with it despite, as mentioned before everyone only having been gone three days. He’s not even wearing his robe, instead wearing a dirty undershirt and rolling around. He’s so horribly depressed and miserable. Magica being kind of nuts can’t fathom why he’s miserable and keeps trying to make him Tea.. which leads to something like this for about 7 minutes.

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Granted i’ts more by accident he avoids Magica poisoning him but still. Also before we move on I have to give props for the animation here and Kimiko Glenn’s performance. She plays Magica perfectly (as Magica only uses her own voice when not around scrooge), and the animation shows off the diffrence between owners of the body incredibly well.

Eventually Magica realizes he’s not faking it and dosen’t want an easy win. She’s waited a decade and a half for this she wants at least some fight. So she manipulates him, talking about family (Not that sh’es a good family member but we’ll get tot hat), and how it weighs you down.. likely also beliving given what we know about her backstory, that he belivies that. That what he said to poe back then was accurate, not realizing.. he changed.

So he decides to go back to baiss and get rid of everything.. except the dime and Magica being too eager for it gives the game away, so she simply bites him and takes it and... frees herself with the power of the eclipse. After 15 years Magica is free, at full power and quickly imprisons our heroes.

Scrooge naturally tears into Lena before blaming his family for it.. before she shuts him up, pointing out that Magica got in here BECAUSE his family was gone. Had Webby been here she would’ve realized something was off and stopped her, as would the rest of the family. With no one left to watch his back and his insincts dulled by misery, he was an easy target. She WISHES she had his family. She realized too late that what she wanted wasn’t freedom.. it was somewhere to belong, somewhere where she’s loved and people care about her. Actual parents or parental figures, a warm bed, and a place where no matter how much you argue your welcome at the end of the day. To have a home. Scrooge takes both things in and thanks her for making him realize he was a moron, she was right.. and that if she helps him get out of this.. she has a place in said family. Naturallly though given this is only part one their beaten easily once they escape: Magica turns Lena back into her shadow, more on that in a minute and traps Scrooge in the dime, and so part 1 ends with Magica ascending at full power and Donald giving the natural response “Aw Phooey”. Time for an intermission...

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Part 2: Day of the Ducks!

So we pick up where we left off.. with Magica’s manical laughter and Dewey wondering.. who the hell is this? Webby fills him: Ancient sorceress, mortal enemy of scrooge usual stuff between them. Except in this version she’s leagues more powerful. She’s also voiced by Comedic Actress and Former Doctor Who Star Cathrine Tate who I haven’t complimented enough int he roll but will now. She easily rolls between comedic and thretaning in an instant and was perfect casting, able to be delightfully hammy.. and unspeakably vile and abusive.

Back to the plot Magica proceeds to make things worse by moving her base from the Mansion to the bin... and summoning ALL the shadows of the citizens of duckburg. We also get a few neat scenes as a result: Glomgold tries to force his to stay but gets dropped in the bay.. and suprisingly is not a throaway gag but a gag that leads to the setup of his plot next season and the introduction of Kev, who comissioned this episode,’s faviorite character. More on that someday. Fenton does some stargazing.. and naturally when his turns into an evil shadow ghost tries to summon his armor.. and instead his shadow steals it.

Finally Gladstone’s... gives him 20 dollars because of course it does. All nice littlle nods and in fentons’ case setup for later.

So while Magica begins her gloating, she had a long speech prepared, our heroes back at the boat try to come up with a plan. They do end up getting unexpected reinforcements: Gyro, Manny, and Little Bulb all show up as their shadows emerging destroyed the glass in the underwater lab. “That’s it no more underwater labs! it’s volcano’s and abandoned castles from now on!”. Well the last one worked for the Mads for a while. i’d of gone for it. Though fair play while they do keep Gyro’s cool underwater lab next time we see it and the windows break security shutters activate to prevent another flooding. Likely Scrooge wouldn’t pay to move the whole thing i’m betting. Fenton also shows up so with most of the supporting cast at this point in the show present, they can begin the raid.

Donald does try to squak out a plan.. but it’s here an intresting idea of the series pops up: No one can understand donald. Well some people can, but not everyone can and even the boys mostly take it from context.. or at least Dewey does. This causes Donald to angrily chase Dewey around

So Gyro, not having the time for any of this, shoves a thing in his mouth, phrasing. This is the Barksian Modulator, a nod to Carl Barks and how Donald could speak in the comics and thus gives him a Don Cheadle voice.. wait.. does this mean comics Donald is voiced by War Machine too? I’ll table that. The point is he can speak clearly and in the sliky tones of Don Cheadle. Not as sexy as Keith David but i’ll take it. I also appricate Cheadle being fully game for this, doing a silly promo video about his roll here, likely taking a bit of a pay cut to do voice acting, and even doing donald’s trademark untitllegble raises. I do WISH donald got to give his badass speach in his own voice as Anselmo would nail it, but he got plenty of good performances before and after this and the gag of having an academy a golden globe and sag award winning actor with tons of charsima as Donald’s intelligble voice was too good to pass up. He even gives out an ah phooey! Such a legend.

So he gives a big inspirisng speech and a new motto of “Ducks never back down” that Dewey uses afterwords to diminishing returns. Andddd has the kids stay on the dock for their saftey SEEMINGLY having leanred nothing. Seemingly being the key word. Just to jump ahead a bit his assault team of him and the other adults goes decently: They are overwhelmed, but Fenton is able to improvise a ray gun, and then uses little bulb to turbocharge it. It’s awesome and shows the guys got talent with or without the suit. Beakley keeps the boat safe as she can (and gets as frustrated as donald, which is great, showing i’ts not so easy is it?)< and Gyro gets captured and is disapointed when he tells magica he’s only an aquantince when asked instead of a friend, though let’s be fair here... Scrooge REALLY does value gyro and did not want him to die. Are they friends... eh I dunno, but I do think he’s more than aquantince. Gyro also deserved it after putting Manny and LIl Bulb up against each other for the job. That will teach you to try and unemploy keith david! Launchpad also gets the awesome task of crashing into the bin as a distraction, though Magica keeps tossing him back, which at least does the job... he also gets a TRULY magnificent moment where he leaps onto the plane, singing his own version of the darkwing duck theme song. Fucking amazing and a shame they never called back to this at any point once Darkwing was introduced. I’d pay money to see them both do that.

So meanwhile with the kids, they naturally say nerp to staying behind. But they need someone who could help them bring them in. In Webby’s actual words, which I am not paraphrasing nor manipulating “Like a noble teen ne'er-do-well who can break into anything, including your heart?” And just in case you think i’m reading too much into things this is her face after saying that.

That my friend is a face that just SCREAMS

There’s no straight explination for this face or this line, and for anyone whose going to bring up the sisters thing in the finale 1. Sisterhood is complicated and sometimes not literal and 2. she was trying to keep Webby from walking into what she thought, correctly, was a trap. I’m doing this NOW because I forgot to in the review, and want to make it painfully clear i’ts okay to ship them as long as you don’t do sex stuff. Their chlidren. It’s gross. Don’t. It is precious.

So they head to Lena’s and find the place deserted and kinda messed up.. and find her Journal which reveals her secret origin: 15 years ago, though her age is not exact and even frank’s said that and while we do see her fully formed as a teen, that might of been an artistic thing we don’t know. Point is 15 years ago Lena was born when Scrooge sealed Magica’s phsyical form away in a dime during their final battle on Mt. Vesuvius, her base in the comics and original series, so she constructed Lena out of her shadow to act as her minon.

Webby of course is heartbroken, feeling Lena used her and all that bad stuff, though the boys comfort her, saying she’s still got them.. not getting the diffrence between familial love and romantic love but point is they know how Magica got out and what she did with scrooge, but they still need to get inside.

Huey, I think, Gets an idea and they swim underwater to emerge from Gyro’s flooded lab. Louie also gets his Kopesh back.

Naturally though their own shadows go after them but Dewey cleverly disapates them: since their shadows they need light to exist, and a simple hit of the fuse box disapates them. Presumibly since Magica was forced to make Lena into a more indepdnent and unique being, she’s immune to this hence why this has only happened to magica’s shadow before.

So they continue making their way up, facing Louie’s old nemisis THE STAIRS in a whopper call back.. only to find the bulk of the shadows, inclduing ShadowdGizmoDuck, waiting.. only for Donald to show up just in the nick of time. Turns out het PLANNED for all of this: he knew they wouldn’t stay put if he told them to and would find their own way in, thus allowing his force to be the bait. Fucking brilliant.

So our heroes head inside while Donald takes on an army single handed.. if with his modulator bugging out.. and given he and Beakely enter the bin via the office entrance later, he BEAT THE GIZMODUCK ARMOR. If you needed proof donald is a legend, there you go. Goodnight.

Anyways our heroes head inside, and when asked what they do, Dewey manages to give his own badass line “Do what we do best make trouble”. What follows is an awesometastic final fight with every one of the kids using their own talents against Magica in one epic clash. Huey simply asks the questions he has while dodging Magica, throwing her off ballance, and nearly getting her weakness out of her. Louie uses his faster speed at burrowing in the gold to easily dodge her and to get her to break a mirror and claims it was a curse. While she dosen’t buy it he eventually uses his silver tounge to wear her down... and leave her open for a kick to the ribs. “Ow my ribs”. Magica drops the dime and it’s clear our first two boys were just the warmup. This is the headliner and she is pissed, coming at Magica with everything. While we’d seen how badass Webby was all season.. this is her crowning glory. The moment that shows she’s not just the best of the kids she EQUALS Donald and Della in martial combat, if not in experince and easily keeps the pace with Magica, railing at her for taking her family and her friend away. Magica tries gaslighting her by saying Lena wasn’t real.. only for lena to come back.

In one glorious moment, Lena shows off how far she’s come, defying Magica at FULL power to return and fight back, keeping her off webby and giving Dewey, who magica kept from getting the dime seconds earlier, heads for the dime. She’s gone from going with her aunt for her own selfish reasons.. to fighting her with everythig she has left knowing she won’t surivive.. and Webby gets proof that Lena really did love her. Wether she tricked her or not.. she loved her.. and sadly enough to die for her as Magica, after telling Lena “your not family” after Lena calls her aunt, seemingly destroys her and a furious webby attacks in grief and rage. The “your not family part” also gives horrifying context to magica’s abuse: she likely abused Lena.. because Lena wanted family.. and Magica just wanted a minion.. and now we know her backstory.. she already LOST the only family she thought she had and hardenred herself, refusing to loose anyone again and thus took it out on an innocent child like the heartless monster she is.

However while Lena’s temporary death didn’t stop Magica.. it gave Dewey a dewstraction and he got the dime back. He tearfully apologizes to Scrooge.. before having to run again, but both have genuinely and finallyr econclied, putting away their own anger and pride and hurt and restoring the family good. Dewey uses the dime to block as Magica corners him.. and that desepration move frees Scrooge. We then get another hell of a fight as Scrooge easily counters her, uses his cane as a sword.. and THANKS HER. As far as he knew without her he’d of lost his family..w ith her , and with Lena, he found the strength to welcome them back in and they came for him when he needed them. This , given the Poe thing, infuraties her MORE, though this time she deserves him making her feel bad and using his douchebaggery against her, and he disarms her of her staff, which breaks on Donald’s head. Magica is dewpowered without her staff and without her amulet which was absorbed into Lena. Laucnhpad also gets a moment by bodyslamming her from the plane. She escapes, why they don’t go after her I have no fucking clue seriously guys what, but the point is for today our heroes have won. The bin, mansion and most of the city may be damaged.. but the family is whole again, cemented by scrooge callign out his nephews names (Minus dewey.. but intetoinally this time) and saying “Curse me kilts i’ve missed you”. After years of pain, hurt and sorrow..the family is whole once more and as they enjoy a midnight swim together, the future is all ahead of them.

But there’s only one thing.. or rather one person missing. And as we close out the episode and the season we cut to the moon.. where Della is watching a newscast.. and sees her boys for the first time. And we hear her for the first time. SEQUEL HOOK BITCHES.

Final Thoughts on The Shadow War!:

Shadow War is an EXCELLENT capper to the season and both it’s arc, tying both together beautifully by having Scrooge’s misery over his family leaving him vunerable to Magica. Any complaints I can muster are minor nitpicks, it ties in everything that had happened up to this point into a neat bow while leaving two big sequel hooks for next season for each arc. Though it’d take their sweet time, and some weird rescheduling from Disney , to get to the Lena one. It’s heartfelt, satisfying and awesome in every measure and is only the weakest of the three finales because the other two had even more shit to work in after seasons of hard work building up this world, with larger stakes and what not. It also has great symmetry with Woo-ooo and had the series ended here, and taken out the stinger.. it would’ve been decently satisfying. Thankfully it didn’t and we got two more knockout seasons after this and a whole other arc to cover at some point. It’s still utterly fantastic and still worth your time. Now for something new as this is the first story arc for a series i’ve finished, and as such ...

Final Thoughts on The Della Arc: I”ll get to the Lena arc, both for this season and as a whole, once I finish this retrospective. But for now how does the Della Arc hold up after all this time? Decently. It does have i’ts problems: The pacing is pretty bad: the arc is staggered out fairly but the size of it’s mystery coupled with the lack of any real info about Della for the entire goddamn season when this is her first big roll in anything, is annoying and will never not be even though we now have all the answers.

So while i’ts not perfect.. it’s still pretty damn good. They took one of Disney’s greatest lingering questions that went purposfully unanswered.. and answered it.. turning it into a masterful series of character pieces and using it to drive Dewey as a character. This was his arc and it shows depth to him: in most episodes he’s mostly pluck and adhd, but the arc shows off the hole left by not knowing his mom, his determination.. but also his selfishness and stubborness. It really fleshes the kid out and makes you root for him even when he’s fucking up a lot. The character work with EVERYONE, from Dewey in general to Webby and Donald in Ithaquack, to the other boys on the sunchaser to Scrooge in the last two/three eps, to Beakly in the same.. ther’es just lots of great stuff in this arc and way too many great moments to dismiss it. The pacing may of been shot, we may not have learned mcuh about della.. btu sometimes adventure is about the journey not the destination, and the journey AND where it took us were both phenominal so yeah. It’s a good arc. Not the series best, but a good start.

As for the Lena Arc i’m saving my throughts on that till we finish it as unlike this arc, which leads into the next but isn’t 100% connected to it, her arc extends for the rest of the series character wise, story wise and weblena wise. So we’re not done with this retrospective and i’ll save my thoughts for when we get to season 3. But Covering the della arc was a lot of fun, exausting but fun, and again any future arcs that aren’t paid for will be staggered out and any interlocking arcs that are paid for will have both paid for. Now with that out of the way..

NEXT TIME ON SHADOW INTO LIGHT: Lena gets SO JEALOUS as Webby makes a new friend and everyone gets a new faviorite as Violet is introduced! Meanwhile Beakley is desperate to prove to her 11 year old grandaughter she has friends and decides to befriend launchpad. Shenanigans insue. See you next week!

Next Time on this blog: It’s back to Amphibia! It’s time for some Zelda action as our heroes go to the first temple. I’m expecting either a giant spider or a shadowy ghost version of andrias. Don’t let me down show!

Until then, stay safe, follow me on patreon and on this blog and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #the shadow war #scrooge mcduck #dewey duck #webby vanderquack #lena sabrewing #weblena #magica de spell #huey duck #louie duck #donald duck #fenton crackshell cabrera #gyro gearloose #many the headless manhorse #little bulb #bentina beakley #gladstone gander #flintheart glomgold #della duck

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mst3kproject · 3 years

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The Navy vs the Night Monsters

Of course, it’s not like bad things stop happening now that 2020 is finally over… we just get to start counting again from zero. Kind of like how I’ve started counting thirty-six Episodes that Never Were per year, beginning with this one. It was co-directed by Wyott Ordung from Robot Monster and features familiar faces like Russ Bender and Mamie Van Doren, the latter for once not playing a teenage delinquent. It also has one really obscure MST3K connection: it was based on a story by Murray Leinster, which the sharp-eyed will remember as the name of the ship attacked by Evil Count Zarth Arn’s lava lamp weapon at the beginning of Starcrash!

A plane carrying specimens of Antarctic flora and fauna makes a rather rough and unexpected landing at a naval base on remote Gow Island in the south Pacific. There appears to be nobody on board except the pilot and a few penguins – the former is in a catatonic state, and the latter are... well, penguins... so what happened to the rest of the passengers and crew is a complete mystery. Did the pilot go mad and kill them? Did the penguins? Or did it have something to do with those mysterious ancient trees discovered growing around a geothermal spring in the heart of the frozen continent?

The first ten minutes of this movie are spent trying to be a comedy. Before we get anywhere near the plot, we first have to listen to the guys on the plane try to be funny about their lunch and their tastes in women. Then on the island, we watch a guy who can’t seem to figure out how to inflate a balloon, followed by a dude talking to his dog, and then a really icky bit where two women convince a man he had sex with both of them, which he buys because he was too drunk to remember. Only then do we finally establish what’s actually going on. The impression one gets from this beginning is that The Navy vs the Night Monsters is going to be peopled entirely by Jackass Comic Relief characters, and I actually turned the film off and sat on it for a couple of days to psych myself up to watch the rest.

When I finally turned it back on, to my relief the movie turned out not to be quite that bad, but it’s still pretty damned bad. The dull and unfunny opening is followed by an abrupt shift of tone, as a man maddened by terror jumps from the plane to his death! The only thing set up by the opening that turns out to be relevant is Spaulding the meteorologist’s crush on Nora the nurse, when she’s in love with the base’s second in command, Lieutenant Brown.

I complain frequently about useless love triangles in movies. This one is very useless, and all the more so because the script totally forgets to resolve it. Spaulding hates Gow Island but stays because he’s in love with Nora – he wants her to go back to Miami with him and marry him. When he puts this idea to her, however, it becomes obvious that Nora can’t stand him, and it’s clear enough why: Spaulding is an asshole and he treats Nora not as a partner but as a possession. Never does he show any sort of tenderness towards her. Every time they speak to each other, he seems to end up shouting, and his jealousy of Brown repeatedly leads to violence.

Brown, on the other hand, treats Nora with respect and actually shows vulnerability around her. He’s been left in charge while the base’s commander is on the mainland attending an important meeting, and he’s really feeling the pressure as the base is surrounded by tree monsters in the dark. He talks about his anxiety and Nora comforts him, and the audience rolls their eyes because it’s perfectly obvious which of these guys she’s going to pick. And sure enough, at the end she’s in Brown’s arms… but nothing about the whole situation is exactly resolved.

Brown and Spaulding did get in a fist fight, though it wasn’t explicitly over Nora, but nobody ever talks about the problem. Spaulding never realizes that he’s treated Nora badly, and it never seems to even occur to him that she might prefer Brown over him, or even that she has emotions or preferences at all. He definitely never seems to understand that he’s lost. Brown and Nora seem to feel a need to hide their love affair from the other base staff, but we’re never given a reason why (although I guess ‘Spaulding’s a dick’ is reason enough). Nora never tells Spaulding that she prefers Brown… maybe she’s afraid he’ll assault her? I hate everything about this situation, but nothing more than the fact that as the movie progresses we get hints that Nora may be warming up to Spaulding, as if she’s supposed to consider these two guys equal contenders for her affections! Fuck everybody who wrote this, seriously.

It’s kind of sad to see Mamie Van Doren in a role like this after meeting her in things like Untamed Youth and Girls Town. Those movies were gross and exploitative, but Mamie’s characters were central to their plots and she filled those shoes reasonably well. She wasn’t Oscar material but for what the films were, she was enough to carry them. The Navy vs the Night Monsters is a little closer to being a ‘real movie’, but in this respect it represents a step down for her, as she is relegated to being something for two men to fight over. Furthermore, Silver from Girls Town and Penny from Untamed Youth were both characters who required some range – Nora the nurse mainly spends the whole movie being annoyed with the men in her life. Van Doren could have done much more if anyone had bothered asking it of her.

Let’s see… what else do I hate about this movie? I hate Private Chandler, the guy who stays a Jackass Comic Relief character once that opening is over. Shockingly, The Navy vs the Night Monsters actually kills him off, but he’s not nearly as annoying as Dropo or the guy from Outlaw, so his death merely feels mean rather than having any entertainment value. The guy was just about to actually get laid by one of the women who’d made fun of him earlier – though she, like Spaulding, showed no sign of being sorry for past jerkitude.

I hate the monsters. Normally I have a soft spot for plant monsters. They’re a cliché in their own way, I guess, but they’re a fun idea. The ones in The Navy vs the Night Monsters kill and digest people with acidic sap, and a character theorizes about how and why such a thing would evolve, which is cool. The execution, however, sucks. While the poster for the film shows us a humanoid Treebeard-looking thing, the actual monsters in the film are dumb-looking stumps that waddle along like a couple of guys trying to move a piece of furniture corner-by-corner because it’s too heavy to lift. The result reminds me of The Creeping Terror, in that you have to want to get eaten by these things. At one point a guy walks right up to one, inspects it, and escapes its clutches merely by backing away slowly!

The trees reproduce using insect-like larvae that are, themselves, lethally venomous. This is also a neat idea which is, once again, ruined by the execution. The tiny ones are being pulled along the floor by a sometimes-visible string, and then they grow into stumps that look like they should be stools around a boy scout campfire, which move even slower than the adult trees! There’s a scene where the characters are holed up in the base under an onslaught of these, with planes arriving to napalm them just in time, and it is ludicrous in its attempt to feel threatening.

I do like that Gow Island is a bleak middle-of-nowhere rather than a tropical paradise. The landscapes kind of remind me of the Falkland Islands, though the weather on Gow is evidently better. You can see why some of the characters hate it here, surrounded by barren scrub inhabited mostly by ten thousand smelly, raucous seabirds. Unfortunately this backdrop makes the ‘comedy’ opening seem even more out of place, though it’s also kind of nice that they didn’t give us any stereotyped ‘natives’ as either comedy or monster fodder.

As for a theme… well, The Navy vs the Night Monsters is clearly about an invasive species. The biologist, in suggesting how the tree monsters evolved, points out that they are suited to the hostile environment of Antarctica in ways that make them nearly unstoppable anywhere else. We’re told that they devoured all the penguins the scientists were bringing back for study, and as well as eating the people, they wreak havoc among the Gow Island seabirds and reproduce out of control. The parallels to things like cane toads in Australia, or housecats just about anywhere, are obvious.

This isn’t something the characters care about, though, even the ones who profess to be scientists. At the end, enough of the trees are destroyed that the humans can safely evacuate, and what happens after that is clearly Gow Island’s problem, not humanity’s. I really would have liked to see the script go into this a little more, but then, The Navy vs the Night Monsters is not a movie that wants to go into anything, even stuff it sets up in some detail.

At the end, The Navy vs the Night Monsters feels pretty half-assed. Somebody wanted to make a movie, and then put in the bare minimum effort possible to have all the parts present. They clearly understood how movies work, but they didn’t have the money and didn’t want to go to the trouble. The result is deeply mediocre. There’s a few laughs out of the dumb stump creatures, but mostly it’s just bad.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the navy vs the night monsters #tw: abuse #humanitarian vegetables #60s

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ultrahpfan5blog · 3 years

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My very belated thoughts on Game of Thrones and season 8 in particular

I feel like I have a somewhat unique perspective on GoT. The show has been such a pop culture phenomenon that I feel that fans have been invested in it for years, either having been book fans who watched the show, or those having watched the show for the better part of a decade. For me, I was never a part of the fandom because I never watched the show until it was in season 7. The books sound great but because I can’t stand reading incomplete series, I have never read them, and at this point, it just feels unlikely that GRRM will end up finishing the series. That sucks because its just the sort of fiction that I would love. I started watching GoT in season 7, and then in season 8. Obviously, I had very little clue what was going on other than the broad strokes and I was watching purely because the spectacle and scale was something I had never seen before on tv. On that front alone it was entertaining. Given the incredibly divisive reaction, I didn’t feel like spending the amount of hours required to watch the show from scratch, but because covid ended up impacting so many ongoing tv shows and movies, I ended up deciding to give it a go. I started a couple of months ago and just finished season 8 a couple of days ago. Its been quite an experience, belated as it may be.

I still feel that I view the show differently than a lot of people. Obviously, its a very different emotional commitment for me, having watched the show in 2 months whereas other have watched the show for about 10 years. Having not read the books, I don’t have the issue of comparing the quality of the books to the show. And given I saw season 8, I watched the show with the ending in mind, so I could understand if the ending made sense to me or not.

On the whole, the show is worth a lot of applause. The production, acting, music, writing, visuals etc... is something I have never seen on tv. Juggling such a huge cast of characters with so many ongoing storylines is an incredible achievement. Say what you will about season 8′s writing, but from a production, scale, and performance standpoint, the show remained stellar all the way through. And for that, I do think D&D deserve credit. I know that is an unpopular thing to say but they still have created something that is truly one of a kind. The show is definitely not perfect, even before season 8. There are storylines that drag, storylines that aren’t given the time they deserve, character developments that don’t completely work etc... but I feel that is part and parcel of every long running show. There are very few that are perfect, and for the sheer complexity of the narrative, its amazing that the show isn’t more convoluted. I do agree that the final 2 seasons are the weakest seasons of the lot. I still think season 7 is very good, and the first half of season 8 I also like a lot, but seasons 1-6 are superb. Its difficult for me the select my favorite season. I suppose season 4 is probably at the top. Its kind of the end of the era season, with the death of Joffrey, Tyrion’s trial, then him leaving Westoros. Arya and Sandor’s time together coming to an end with her traveling to Braavos, death of Tywin, and Jon rising in the ranks of the Nights Watch and becoming a more prominent character in the show. I love seasons 5-6 because of the rise of Jon. Season 2 arc of Tyrion as hand of the King was also excellent. My favorite episodes all come from these seasons. I love the battle episodes, with Blackwater, Hardhome, and Battle of the Bastards being 3 of my favorite eps. The Laws of Gods and Men is another episode I love just for the climax where Peter Dinklage just tears into the scene with his full might. I also loved Pedro Pascal as Oberyn in season 4. He added a unique quality and I was sad to see him not last past season 4. There were a few storylines that I wasn’t completely fond of. The early years of Daenerys weren’t the most compelling, Arya in Braavos was just too slow for my taste, the Littlefinger and Sansa storyline in season 4 also felt like they were treading water and then they backtrack on Sansa’s development in season 5. Also, Staanis was someone who went a little too batshit crazy in his lust for power. Felt a little out of character.

Now, when it comes to season 8, There are a lot of complaints about a lot of things. I will say that the main issue with season 8 is that it crams what should be 2 seasons of storylines and crams it into a single 6 episode season. I think virtually every complaint can be traced back to that. I actually really like episodes 1 and 2. Especially episode 2. Brienne’s knighting is actually very touching. Its great to see characters reuniting and characters meeting for the first time. I know lots of people complained about episode 3 and while its not as good as the other 3 battle episodes that I mentioned before, I still think its excellent. I did not have the lighting problem that others had. I watched it on my laptop and I could see everything. The episode is titled ‘The Long Night’ so I expected things to be dark, but it isn’t as if I had trouble seeing what happened. The episode is incredibly intense and while its a bit difficult o figure out how so many survived and there are some questionable tactics for sure, its still quite a spectacular spectacle. My only issue with the episode is really all Jon related, which I will get back to in a bit.

I know that Daenerys turning into the mad queen is a huge point of contention for the season. While I absolutely agree that that character arc went from 0 to a 100 way too fast, I don’t think it was completely out of the blue. Knowing the ending, I kept an eye on Daenerys, and I think there are a lot of instances where her first instinct to fixing problems has been to unleash her dragons. She has had characters around her like Selmy, Jorah, later Tyrion, even Daario, who have tempered that instinct somewhat. But that is still a natural instinct for her. Not to mention, in Essos, she was dealing with a fairly black and white issue when it comes to slavery. And she mistakenly thought, her experiences in Essos would translate to Westoros. She came with the idea that the common people would support her without fully processing the idea that she was bringing foreign armies into their land and three dragons, which had not been seen by people for generations. So they had legitimate reasons for fear. So it wasn’t completely out of the blue that she unraveled when confronted with the revelations that she was feared more than she was loved and that she did not have the sort of universal support she thought she would have. Obviously, that was compounded by the losses that she tacked up one after another. Definitely, one more season was required to make that a satisfactory arc, but I don’t think it was completely random. And honestly, once she did what she did in episode 5, she was never going to survive the show. I will say this, Emilia Clarke was outstanding in season 8. She was never the cast member who stood out in seasons past, but season 8 was really her season. While the character development was rushed, she sold every scene and earned her lead actress emmy nomination.

There are some endings which people hated which I understood. Like Jaime’s ending, which people were pretty pissed about, is an ending I quite get. As much as we love the story of redemption, the Cersei and Jaime bond was just too deep and toxic for him to so easily extricate himself. I get why he would be drawn back to her when he knew she was in danger. I think Lena and Nikolaj really sold their final scenes together. I felt for Lena as an actress. As a result of the short season, she really didn’t get much to do all season. Her death scene is really the only time she gets material to chew on. So that was a pity. I think Brienne and Sandor Clegane were two characters for whom their endings were perfect. Brienne becoming a knight of the six kingdoms and Clegane finally getting revenge on his brother was extremely satisfying. Theon’s ending was pretty much perfect. Sansa becoming queen in the North makes sense. The show seemed to be building towards it. Sophie Tuner gets some good material in the final season where you can see that there is a lot happening in her head and not all of it is altruistic. She does have a power hungry side to her, even if she’s not self destructively so. Maisie Williams was strong again. I wasn’t a huge fan of her getting to kill the Night King over Jon but there lots of good moments she has with Jon, Sandor, Gendry, Sansa etc... Bran becoming King of the six Kingdoms is definitely not the greatest ending. I don’t know whose decision it was to turn Bran into a robot and have him do nothing other than sit and stare, but it definitely wasn’t the greatest. I can’t imagine it was a particularly satisfying experience as an actor for Isaac. I did enjoy a couple of moments with him and Jaime, harking back to season 1.

The two other major characters are Tyrion and Jon. Certainly the finale is very heavily centered on those two. I do agree with the notion that they really dumbed down on Tyrion’s intelligence as he makes a lot of wrong moves in the last couple of seasons. But Peter Dinklage the actor has never disappointed. His performance in the finale ranks as one of his finest on the show. There has never been a time when he has not given his all. Him ending up as the hand is pretty effective ending. He is a humbled man, admitting that he’s not as smart as he thought he was. So maybe he would be a better hand as a result of that experience. Jon’s ending is another controversial one. I am in the audience who really wasn’t a fan of how Jon was treated in season 8. Kit Harington was quite poorly served in season 8, which was a bit of a whiplash since Jon was arguably at his most badass in season 5-7 and became a huge a fan favorite. Certainly he took over from Dinklage as the de facto male lead of the show. The character only comes back to life at the very end of episode 5. Part of that is probably the point. That Jon became too bent to Daenerys’ will, as Varys said.to Tyrion. It took Daenerys burning down King’s Landing to wake him up. I get that from a narrative standpoint, buts its dissatisfying from a character perspective when its the final season. Certainly I found it very strange how little role he played in The Long Night, given the White Walker storyline was Jon’s primary storyline on the show. Put aside killing the Night King, a showdown which was promised on the show, he didn’t even do much else in the episode. At the very least he should have gotten to destroy the undead Viserion. The memes about his dialogue in the season aren’t unfounded. But, I will say that Kit Harington is fantastic in the series finale. He arguable has the centerpoint scenes of the finale, the two scenes with Tyrion, and then the scene with Danaerys where he is literally begging her to give him a reason not to kill her and she keeps saying the wrong thing. Certainly Peter and Kit end the season on a high note. Him ending up with the Wildlings seems appropriate because Jon never seemed cut out to be King, nor did he ever want that responsibility. He probably would have been better than Bran, but its a decent enough ending for him. In the end, the way the show ends I was mostly ok with, but the path to getting there should have come with one extra season at least.

In the end, the production and the acting will always be something I will remember. I didn’t even mention great performances from Sean Bean, Charles Dance, Alfie Allen, Stephen Dillane, Conleth Hill, Aiden Gillen, Diana Rigg, Jerome Flynn, Liam Cunningham among many others over the years. So even though I do have issues with the final season, I feel that the good far outweighs the bad when it comes to the show. Its not a show I foresee rewatching any time soon since its one of those shows that requires some digestion and a lot of hours, but I certainly don’t regret the time I gave to it.

#game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #sansa stark #arya stark #jaime lannister #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #bran stark #ned stark

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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years

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Grey's Anatomy: Helplessly Hoping (17x07)

What the heck did I just watch with my own two eyeballs? What the ever living fuck? Spoilers ahead, ye be warned.

Cons:

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and compare Grey's Anatomy to The Walking Dead real quick. Both are long-running shows with a large ensemble cast, and the cast grows, people leave, new characters are added, and we're meant to feel emotional attachments to new characters as well as to those few originals who are still sticking around. Oh, and main characters die on a semi-regular basis, for the drama of all of it.

Now, the thing is, Grey's is actually better than The Walking Dead at getting me to give a crap about new characters as they get folded into the show. So many of my favorites today weren't originally part of the show. Jo is a good example of this. Callie wasn't an original character, neither was Arizona, and I loved them. Link is a more recent fave. The list goes on. You know one character I particularly loved?

Andrew DeLuca.

And it was a bumpy start, with him. I thought he was boring as sin at first, but gradually he became one of my favorites. The problem with a show like Grey's is that eventually, you might start hemorrhaging all the characters left on it that the audience gives a damn about. This happened to me long ago with The Walking Dead, and over the past couple of seasons of Grey's, I've started to worry about the same thing happening here. Losing Alex Karev last season was such a blow, especially because of the terrible way they went about it. And now, DeLuca? Are you serious? And killing him off? He was one of the only reasons I was excited to follow the show week to week, and one of my tethers to it has just been snapped clean.

And let's talk about the specifics, here. Andrew DeLuca, man struggling with mental illness. Man who starts to learn to manage it, to find happiness and balance in his life. He manages to catch the big bad child trafficker, but dies nobly in the attempt, thus making his death... what, worth it? Heroic? I hate this narrative on TV, especially for young men, especially for young men with mental illnesses. Jesus, this felt particularly tone deaf to me, in a way Grey's usually isn't. Or at least, not on this issue.

To turn to some other aspects, I will say it's super annoying that they want me to watch Station 19. I'm not gonna watch it. It's annoying that Carina is obviously getting all her stories over on that show now, when I like her so much and want more time with her. Although now it's just going to be her grieving her brother after also having lost both her parents young in life so... yay, I'm sure that'll be fun.

In terms of the other subplots, I'm a Tom Koracick stan. I know he's a dick but I just can't help myself. That being said, I thought his whole "I need you to tell me you never loved me" thing with Teddy was a little too high octane drama. It didn't match Tom's whole sardonic personality. Also, Teddy sucks, I don't feel any sympathetic connection to her struggle over how she totally loved both Tom and Owen at the same time. Like, girl, you need to get over yourself.

Pros:

I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I'm liking the whole subplot with Link and Amelia at home with Scout and also Meredith's three kids. They're obviously having a hard time, but we're not devolving into more Amelia-drama. She's upset, and dealing with so much stress, and she's also... handling it. Her conversation with Zola was actually really heartwarming.

I also liked Link, Jackson, and Maggie's new beau (sorry dude, I'll learn your name soon I'm sure), having beers before noon and talking out their stress. I especially liked Link admitting that he's thinking about how his life will be ruined if Meredith dies. The other two reassure him that there can be lots of different reasons to want someone to live, and some of those reasons can be selfish. Link is a good man, and he's doing everything he can, and he's nearing his breaking point. It's okay to be selfish. I think like that too. Like, if I lost someone I rely on or love very much, I'd worry about how it would affect me and my day-to-day. I don't think that makes me a monster, that's just a normal way of framing things inside your own mind.

Not entirely sure what the heck is up with Levi and Nico right now, but I like that Levi is falling apart and Nico is there for him. I hope that we get some time to sort out whatever their relationship is... I really want it to be my theory, where Nico realizes he's in love with Levi, while Levi is having his glow-up and moving on. Nico deserves to suffer a bit of anticipation, at least, before he gets what he wants. Especially after the way he treated Levi.

I find DeLuca's death to be a uniformly bad choice in terms of scriptwriting, but I can still praise the performances. I liked the beach scenes with Meredith and Andrew. There was something very full-circle about that. It's absolutely bananas bonkers that Meredith is losing another love interest, even though she and Andrew haven't really been together for quite a while... but if we set that aside, they had this really interesting connection, this affinity for each other that was romantic, but was also a lot of other things. It meant something, that we got to see them have that final connection before Andrew died. Also, they really managed to highlight the tragedy with that little sandcastle moment. This isn't someone going peacefully into that good night. Andrew had a lot of shit he still wanted to do. He's not actually okay with dying, even if he is happy to see his mom in the afterlife or whatever. It's bleak, and I appreciate that if they're making this dumb choice, at least they're acknowledging the inherent bleakness.

And just to pile on the tragedy, Jo's patient, the new mother who had to be separated from her premature daughter Luna, dies. Honestly I appreciate that Grey's does this kind of thing sometimes. They let the patients survive often enough that you always have hope, and then when it doesn't happen... oof. I was more angry about Andrew's death, but I was a more choked up about Jo's patient, to be perfectly honest. We also saw Hayes and Jo have a little subplot of connection over grief and loss, which I appreciated.

Okay, I'll stop there. This episode is overshadowed by Andrew's death, and I really hated that aspect of the episode. There are other things going on that could prove interesting moving forward, but goddamn, I am not okay about this at all.

6.5/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's abc #wtf grey's why did you do this

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365days365movies · 3 years

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January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2006) (Part 1)

So...we meet again, Bond. What’ve you been doing for the past few years?

...What. Not who, James, WHAT. Jeez.

Whatever. BrosBond had 3 movies after GoldenEye, and they were...not great, from what I’ve heard. Remember, I wasn’t as big of a fan of GoldenEye as many critics and fans were; so, I can’t imagine what I’d think of the latter three. Maybe one day, but not today!

Today, I’m focusing my sights on the revitalization of the brand. See, in 2002, Die Another Day came out, and that movie was apparently crazy. TOO crazy. So crazy, in fact, that audiences and critics accused it of losing the plot, and the production studio in charge (Eon Productions) had a yearning to change direction. And their inspiration came from...a surprising place.

See, Joel Schumacher’s campy, over-the-top Batman films were basically wiped out by Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reinvention of the character in Batman Begins. Which is, in my opinion, a highly underrated classic, Seriously. And in 2005, this film was absolutely a smash-hit. Batman was cool again, which a lot of people never thought would happen in film. Eon saw this, and thought...how can we apply that to Bond?

Out with Brosnan...in with Craig.

The first of the new, darker, reinvented Bond films is planned for release in 2006, starring Daniel Craig as the suave, sophisticated spy. And the director of the film was selected to be...Martin Campbell? From GoldenEye? The guy who kinda sorta started the modern over-the-top Bond? Really? I mean, OK. The writers this time are different...except for one. I didn’t talk about the writers last time because I don’t like putting people on blast if I don’t gotta. This time...maybe. We’ll see.

If this Casino Royale is basically Bond Begins, I’m definitely interested. Maybe this’ll revitalize that Bond-love from the Connery days. Let’s find out! We’re also gonna look at the Bond checklist again!

Gadgets: better have more cool gadgets than GoldenEye, I swear...

Bond Girl: GoldenEye’s Natalya wasn’t bad, to be honest; let’s see who his Inevitable Love Interest is this time.

Villain: Alec Trevelyan had so much potential. I need my dastardly villain, let’s do this. Oh, and let’s throw the henchman in here, too. Xenia Onatopp was...a lot...but she was a memorable henchman, at least.

Music: Of course. GoldenEye’s theme was good, and we’ll see how 2006 does.

OK, movie time. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at an office building in Prague, where a man makes his way up to his office. Waiting there for him is, of course, James Bond (Daniel Craig). The man is Dryden, section chief at the British Embassy in Prague, whom M has accused of selling secrets, a big no-no. But Bond...isn’t a double-0 agent. Huh. You got me interested.

Apparently, agents get the two zeroes once they’ve killed two people on file. James hadn’t killed anyone...until recently. Which is when we get this.

OH SHIT

This is an absolutely BRUTAL fight. It’s not choreographed flashily, it’s not pretty...it’s rough. It’s intense. And it’s...oh my God, wow. Made me feel it. And what’s astonishing is that it’s SO short.

On learning this, Dryden tells him not to worry, the second one is...

...YOU GOT ME. I’M IN FOR THE FUCKIN’ RIDE

HOW??? How is it that in 3 minutes of screentime, I’m already more satisfied by Craig’s Bond than I was for the ENTIRETY of GoldenEye? That is masterfully done, right off the bat. WOW. We even get a smooth-as-silk segue into the classic bullet turret sequence, and that takes us right into the song and opening credits. And...wow.

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Here’s the thing about Bond openings, as I mentioned last time: they were all directed by one guy up until GoldenEye, and were basically all silhouetted women with themes and scenes from the movie projected around them. The Brosnan movies followed suit, always having silhouetted women in one way or another. Die Another Day used CGI women and...a really bad Madonna song. It was...it is NOT GOOD, guys. Look it up, it’s the most 2002 thing I’ve ever heard.

But here’s the fin bit about Casino Royale. This is the first Bond movie opening with no women in it. Yeah. It’s the first one. And the song is Chris Cornell’s You Know My Name, and it’s good! Not sure it’s going in my soundtrack, though.

Finally, the opening credits sequence itself: it’s once again Daniel Kleinman doing it, and it’s actually inspired by the first James Bond book Casino Royale, which had already had a TV special and unofficial Bond movie made from it! The cover had a playing card motif, and the opening carries over that motif creatively. I really dig it, if I’m honest! Definitely a welcome break from the 44 years of Bond films preceding it.

Uganda! And we meet the villain of this film: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). And GODDAMN if that isn’t a Bond villain! He’s a banker, making a deal with a rebel leader, Steven Obanno (Isaach de Bankole), via their liason Mr. White (Jesper Christiensen). Setting up an attack by supplying Obanno with money, he sells his stocks of a company called Skyfleet, knowing that they’re about to fail.

Meanwhile, a ferret’s fighting an Asian species of cobra. In Madagascar. My zoology senses are EXPLODING, OH my God. So much wrong there. Anyway, there’s a bombmaker in the crowd watching the fight. He’s being tailed by Bond and another agent, Carter, who tips off the guy by being a bad spy. Bond chases him to a construction yard. What now, James?

Awesome. Why is this awesome when I said that the tank was dumb? Because at least it makes sense for a bulldozer to go haywire in a construction yard, just sayin’. Plus, this dude clearly isn’t the best, as he fires on construction workers and cops.

Eventually, this chase sequence brings us to the top of a crane, where this exchange happens.

I, uh...I love this movie already. That’s goddamn great.

The chase scene as a whole is also fantastic, as it continues off the bridge and into an abandoned building, then escalates into the streets, brings in law enforcement, and eventually ends with Bond at an embassy, facing down both the military and the bomb maker. He kills the guy, shoots some gas tanks, grabs the bomb, and then gets the hell out of there.

...Y’know what, that was fucking amazing, but he also almost certainly caused an international incident there. And I should be annoyed about that, but guess what! It makes sense! This is an inexperienced Bond, one who’s JUST been promoted to 00 status as 007, as the prologue explained. So, y’know what? I’m into it!

Cut to a yacht, like you do in a Martin Campbell Bond film. There, we have our villain, Le Chiffre, playing a card game. Also, he weeps blood. Yeah. HE WEEPS BLOOD.

OK, if that isn’t some Bond villain shit, I don’t know WHAT is. He’s also asthmatic, because I love it. I love it so much. He’s a mathematically-brilliant asthmatic that weeps blood. More, please.

He’s also a person aware of what Bond did at the embassy, as it’s already become an international incident! Thank you for showing consequences, movie! Damn! I love it! This has two additional consequences. One, Le Chiffre notes that the code “Ellipsis” used by the bomber may be soon to expire, indicating a connection between the two. And the second consequence? M’s pissed.

M! DAME JUDI DENCH! One of my favorite things about GoldenEye was bringing in Judi Dench as M, and she made it through the reboot! And she’s still as entertaining as she was before, calling Bond out for his stupidity, and explaining that she misses the Cold War.

In her apartment, M does her normal exposition schtick, and her interactions with Bond are fantastic here. She’s understandably angry at him, and gives him what for, but she’s also clearly impressed that he FIGURED OUT WHERE SHE LIVES, as well as her REAL NAME. Shows her opinion of Bond and aspects of Bond’s character in a single, masterful stroke.

Well. Goddamn. Done.

The Bahamas! Bond’s here to find Alex Dimitrios (Simon Abkarian), a Greek businessman who’s believed to have a connection with Le Chiffre himself. And, as James Bond is wont to do, he finds him at a party, playing cards. And here’s where the reinvention of Bond comes full circle.

See, Bond’s doing all the typical Bond things, yeah. But there are some differences present here, as well as some neat nuances. Bond isn’t wearing the suit, first of all. He actually hasn’t worn a suit the whole movie, which makes perfect sense for a spy. Suits aren’t exactly the least conspicuous thing in the world; bound to get you noticed if you don’t want to be.

And then, there’s the girl. This is Solange Dimitrios (Catherina Murino), the wife of Alex who was treated BADLY by him at the party. That gives her a reason to take Bond’s offer for a ride to his place, outside of just his raw animalistic charm that he seems to have in some of these movies. Look at that, already more chemistry than he had with Natalya in GoldenEye.

And yes, this results in her cheating on Alex. Is her cheating justified from a moral standpoint? No, of course it isn’t. And of course, this leads to the typical Bond-handsome-sex-GOOD sequence, but again, some nuance here! First of all, he doesn’t win her over with corny clever lines, like what we saw in GoldenEye multiple ties. Second, this is actually all an attempt to get some infomation from her about her husband. Bond might be enjoying it, but his womanizing here actually has a purpose. And that’s rare!

That’s further punctuated by the fact that he STRAIGHT UP LEAVES BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. Yeah, she tells him that Alex just made his way to Miami, and he leaves! Dick move, yeah, but it makes sense! James isn’t here for pleasure, he’s here for work!

He follows Alex to a Bodies at Work exhibit (you know, the preserved and skinned cadavers put into poses that used to tour around the USA? I saw it in Times Square at the end of its popularity. A little ghoulish, maybe, but I think it’s pretty cool), where the two of them get in a very tense close-up knife fight in public.

Alex is dead, but not before passing off a package to someone else at the exhibition. Bond tails the guy to Miami International Airport, where the largest airplane in the world is set to be unveiled. Using the code sent to the bombers, Bond gets into the back, and goes to intercept the disguised bomber who’s set to blow up the SkyChonk (I mean it, that giant airplane is THICCC).

Time for another cool chase sequence! Some luggage is destroyed, along with a bus, the cops join in on the chase, an airplane is prevented from landing (making someone on that plane probably very upset), and Bond somehow manages to prevent the plane from blowing up. And it’s by the SKIN of his teeth, lemme tell you. Also, he blows up a dude with his own flashlight bomb.

Nice. Somehow, Bond isn’t arrested, and makes his way back to the Bahamas. And it looks like Solange isn’t the Bond girl after all. Because she was thought to be the information leak (which she was, to an extent), she was tortured to death. Whoof.

M’s in the Bahamas now, and the exposition continues. She’s done with Bond’s bullshit, and she plants a tracker under his skin. She explains that with the big boi plane destroyed, somebody stood a lot to gain financially from the stock crash to come. Except that the plane wasn’t destroyed, and that person lost $100 million by “betting the wrong way.”

That person, of course, was Le Chiffre, a manthematical genius and chess prodigy, who plays poker for fun, and plays the stock market with his clients’ money. Bond’s the best poker player in MI6 (a good addition that we already saw foreshadowed earlier! See what I mean?), and she’s sending him to a high stakes poker game that Le Chiffre’s looking to regain his money from.

Bond FINALLY dons his suit, and gets on a train in Montenegro, where he meets...

Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). THERE’S our Bond girl! Although, there’s a reference to Miss Moneypenny in their introduction, which is interesting. But Vesper is an agent for the British Treasury, supplying the money for the buy-in for the tournament. And their conversation on the train...wow. Now THIS is chemistry, seriously.

Vesper’s a great character, and she gives Bond NO quarter. She reads his character, and calls him out very accurately. They also explain why both Bond and Vesper are good at poker: it’s all about reading people. I’m genuinely impressed by how this movie is put together, and how well-thought out Bond is as a character. And this is the dimension I love to see in a Bond girl as well!

GODDAMN, I am in love with this movie. More coming in Part 2!

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