#it is filled with nature (not in a nature as religion way... explaining what i mean might be its whole own post cause it's complicated) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dykedvonte · 3 days

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I am making grabby hands and begging for more of your lovely Benny HC’s pleeeeease

Okie Dokie!!! Kinda long so under the cut it is

Benny is baby-faced and mid-20s. I like the idea he was so roped into House's offer because he was and still is kinda young and impressionable. His lobes aren't fully cooked yet and it shows.

Short and just now getting stout. Being a wastelander means you stay kinda lean and now he takes a lot of opportunities to fill out and look bigger.

Weirdly naive. He can spot a lie/lair from a mile away but if you somehow can charm your way past that intuition he's all too trusting with you on personal matters. All boot riders are like this actually as they rarely are wary of someone considered their own.

Moves like a lizard, very still one moment and then fast/jittery the next. He's not very predictable outside of being a backstabber.

A hand talker who can't keep still or quiet for long. Gets bored easily which is why he never was the casino desk man.

Was just called Gecko before but mainly for his eyes and not the aforementioned behavior. Very cold and sharp like a Mojave golden Gecko but also pretty.

All his smiles are practiced. There's a certain menace his natural smile has, too many teeth, too big, too wild, too mocking. Kinda like a dog barring his teeth and combined with his eyes it's rather intimidating. All the fake smiles are coy and rather closed lip.

Doesn't like using guns but it gives him an edge. Likes to get in close and feel like he's earned the kill during a fight but he's got an image now...

Not religious and doesn't get organized religion. Part of House's doing as House of course would explain it as something superfluous but Benny's own opinions are more "If a god was real why would he make life suck this much ass"

Maria means nothing to him but is part of his image. Following the point below, what he got from House is like a uniform for him, even if he doesn't want to go back to it, it is physically comforting.

Got to choose his name from a list House gave him. Chairmen had the most things altered about them. Treats his name like a title more than anything, interestingly enough.

If he ever defected he would join the followers. They share a lot of viewpoints and he'd act as a spokesman vs anything else. He is a likable guy, just not a guy you can get close to while keeping a "likable" opinion of him.

Doesn't sleep that much. Not much to do with the plans he has but he is a wastelander at heart. The city while secure isn't what he's fully used to still and the lights/sounds keep him up

Emotionally repressed and doesn't know it. Has a hard time actually connecting with most people cause he struggles with determining if a relationship is serious. People are friends or FWB and little else cause it's never been important to his or the Chairmens' prosperity.

Follows Boot-Rider customs discreetly and says Chairmen shit for show. A lot of the family would tell you a big reason Boot-Rider traditions aren't gone is that he won't let them die even if they gotta be silent about them.

He's eerily people smart. Intelligence is subjective here as he's not book smart but he gets people he knows what they want to hear even if he doesn't genuinely believe it. The comic knows he pays attention to what makes people vulnerable and he's like idk FNV Heather Chandler. Not introspective at all though.

My last point for now is: Violent. Maybe a better word is intense but he lacks inhibition and temperament control in a lot of aspects. If he's forced a direction he kinda just runs wild even if he was taking it slow before. He has hard opinions and makes plans with a sense of finality to them and doesn't act until that's achievable. Like I'm sorry but he gets mean at you and whatever he say to Yes-Man about the khans must be crazy with how YM talks about them. He is so willing to get his hands dirty, I can imagine he misses being able to get messy.

This is not organized at all but these are major ways I see Benny. He's like borderline an oxymoron who avoids it by small margins. Everything about him can be explained even though we don't get a lot of personal info about him, we know his habits. He's a guy who has such a detailed facade you can't tell what his actual face is most of the time and when he does show it, it's only in very specific and wild scenarios it can be hard to say it's how he'd really be. I'll just say the opening of the comic with him fluctuating from motionlessly looking at Vegas, to calmly talking to Swank, to rage and settling on something almost like commercial charm when talking about murdering what is basically a family member is just so indicative of what Benny is and how I tend to characterize him in my head.

#like realistically hed be so offputting in real life #like a person you know is being condescending or holding their tongue on the most trivial of things #i wouldn't mess with him cause hes the type to not hold a grudge cause hed just kill you for it #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #benny fallout #benny fnv #benny gecko #ask #anon

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girlscience · 8 months

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contemplating the idea that religion and spirituality and supernatural beliefs might simply not be for me and it is a bit sad

#i would say i officially officially left christianity in 2018 #and since then i have tried a multitude of different things trying to fill the space that left in my life #and i kept trying to shove things in there not realizing that space was being filled on its own #it is filled with nature (not in a nature as religion way... explaining what i mean might be its whole own post cause it's complicated)#and my friends and family. it's filled with love for myself and care for other people #there is non christian music that makes me feel the way christian music used to #i don't need god to be happy #i don't want god to be happy either #and this search for some belief in something. paganism. divination. ghosts. pop culture polytheism. heathenism. witchcraft. devil worship.#ancestor veneration.... etc etc etc. none of it sticks. none of it feels like i'm doing something #it all (as in all religion and spirituality and supernatural beliefs) feels like pretend. my brain is sure it's all make believe #and it makes me feel a bit sad because i wanted it for so long #and so many other people have it and it's very important to them #and i would like to devote myself to something bigger than me #but it just... doesn't work for me #and i don't need it... so maybe i'm going to try not looking for a while and see how it goes #this doesn't mean i am lacking in some way. it doesn't make my life empty #it doesn't mean i can't feel the way others do #it just means i am different from some people and that's okay

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roll-for-gaslight · 13 days

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While I think Sklonda is right to be critical of the Bad Kids and specifically Kristen, I think that a lot of the reason she did so is that she was missing a lot of context the other parents were given. We see in Freshman Year that she’s often given the information about their quests from Riz, several hours after the fact, and he shares clues with her rather than personal things. He doesn’t think the personal bits are what she cares about because, for him, that’s not the problem being solved. He’s happy with his friends and she only really would hear if one of them caused a problem. Her apartment isn’t a hangout like Seacaster Manor, Mordred Manor, the Thistlespring Tree, or even Gilear’s season one apartment were. By the nature of her being a single working mother in a difficult financial situation, she often was left out of extracurricular activities.

For example, Mordred is obviously a place filled with a lot of activity, and plenty of kids to give updates on said activity if something slips through the cracks of someone’s retelling. If Adaine leaves out a personal moment because she’s focused on the case, Fig or Kristen or even Ragh could fill in that blank, plus the fact that the other BKs spend a lot of time there means that Sandralynn, Jawbone, and Lydia are usually getting every side of every story. The Thistlespring Tree is where the Bad Kids go not just because it’s a nice place to spend time, but because it’s often directly tied into a plot or subplot! The power source in season one, the satellite in season two, and Gorgug’s artificer journey + the whole Frosty Faire thing going on now! Besides that, the Thistlesprings have raised Gorgug in a way that encourages open channels of communication about his emotions above all else, so he tells them what’s going on! Fabian’s parents over at Seacaster Manor haven’t been involved so much this season, but Bill Seacaster saw their bond from the start and taught them how to take care of each other and fight as a group, and Gilear has always been heavily involved in their adventures because all of the BKs have been emotionally invested in him as well!

Aside from that, she’s missing the context of actually being able to attend their quests like some other parents/guardians were able to in Sophomore Year! Gilear and Cathilda and Sandralynn all know things like the fact that everyone was worried about Riz and called him their little angel when he was gone and that Kristen saved him almost at the expense of her own life in the Nightmare King’s forest. She never sees them together, the way they’ll risk everything for each other when the chips are down, the way they all show they care in little ways all the time ( like Fig giving him the card or Fabian’s gifts in Freshman Year). She doesn’t understand that while “the Ball” may have come from a bully on the first day of school, it turned into a term of endearment! She doesn’t see how hard they’ve been trying this year to pass their classes and such, not because it matters to them, but because they know it’s important to Riz. He never even explained the whole needing scholarships thing to them! He showed up with folders on the first day, stressed out of his mind about all of them passing together, and basically decided to get their shit together! Sure, it took Kristen and Fig a little while to do it, but that’s because they were struggling to build better habits!

I also understand how she could think Riz does all of the heavy lifting: when he presents the clues to her and he’s their lead investigator, do you think she assumed other people did the finding? Absolutely not! She doesn’t see the way they put things together by focusing on their individual strengths; she only sees Riz trying to put it all together and find the connections. Why would she know that a lot of the investigative work was done by Adaine and Kristen in sophomore year because so much of it had to do with religion? She wouldn’t!

All this to say: Sklonda is a good mom for checking in with Riz, but she also has a narrow view of things that no one else has. If she were to be exposed to the BKs more often and actually pay attention to how things work between them, I think she would be much more understanding.

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barleyo · 9 months

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Take Me to Church.

Priest! Miguel O'Hara X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: Hello, my blessings! I hope you all can see what I was going for with this, I mean, Miguel is Catholic. I also hope this doesn't seem rushed! I'm not very well versed in religion, so I hope none of this comes off as blasphemous or disrespectful. Much love to all of you, and thank you for your continued support!

Wordcount: 3.3K

Tags: Dub-con, loss of virginity, manipulation, p in v, coercion, power dynamic, abuse of power, use of "Father" in a religious way, not an inc*stual way, HEAVY talk of religion (sin, penance, etc.), oral (f receiving), desk fucking, implied age gap

Miguel O’Hara was the leader of his local congregation. He was a devout man, trusting God’s will above anything else, and leading the church to trust just the same. He led them onto a holy path, clear of temptation and sin.

He himself, however, was not free from these temptations. No matter how much he had prayed to clear himself of these thoughts, they still remained. He beseeched God to forgive him for what he had thought, what he had felt.

Nothing seemed to stop his mind from falling into the gutter, especially not her presence.

Lord, forgive him for his sins.

Forgive him for giving into her allurement.

(Y/N) had knocked on Miguel’s office door. Normally, she would refrain and not impose on his valuable time, but for some time, something had bothered her deeply. Having nobody else to turn to, she came to his door, tail figuratively between her legs.

“Father O’Hara? May I come in?”

“Yes, my child, do come in,” he said, his voice kind, yet firm.

She walked in, awkwardly closing the door behind her and standing by the door.

“Please, sit.” He pointed to a chair across from his desk, and removed his small reading glasses that sat on the tip of his nose. He removed the small stack of papers that he had been going through off of his desk, turning his full attention to the woman. “What seems to be the issue?”

“Apologies, I don’t mean to take up any of your time, I can see that you’re busy–”

“Nonsense, child. I am never too busy to give assistance to one in need. So?”

“Right, right.” She took a deep breath, clenching her fists in her lap. She quickly started muttering something under her breath before looking up to meet his eyes.

He looked at her with his deep, dark eyes, filled with curiosity. Part of her felt that he could see right to her soul, that he knew exactly why she was there. Perhaps he had known the second it started.

“Come now,” he said, arms crossed over the desk while he looked at her, head slightly tilted, “you are safe here with me. Unburden yourself and your soul, dear girl.”

“Father, I– I believe that I need to look for forgiveness from God.”

“And why would that be?”

“My mind, Father,” (Y/N) said, chewing on the inside of her cheek, pricking blood from the thin skin.

“Ah, a matter of the mind, is it?” His brows furrowed together, creating a small dimpling near his forehead. Shifting in his chair, Miguel straightened his posture, as if he were preparing himself for what she had to say after the fact. “Care to explain further?”

“They’re bad thoughts, sexual in nature. And, I just feel that,” she paused to swallow a lump in her throat, briefly covering her mouth while she did so, “that they plague me.”

He felt his chest tighten. She felt what he had felt, though, he doubted for the same reason.

Miguel hummed, clearing his throat quickly. “Is that so? So, you have been having unwanted sexual thoughts?”

(Y/N) clung onto his words, feeling her face flush when hearing him say it out loud. “Yes, but that isn’t all. I— well, goodness, I’m so embarrassed.” She held her face in one of her hands, looking down at Miguel’s own hands that laid flat on the desk, avoiding his deep gaze.

She felt one of them reach out to lay over one of her hands, even before she could see it happen. Her head tilted up to see his face morph into a look of reassurance.

“Do not let shame stop you from seeking full forgiveness.” Letting his hand linger for a second longer than he knew was acceptable, he slowly inched it away and continued with a sigh. “Speak only the truth, and allow me to guide you into the comfort of God’s shining light. Go on, now.”

“I have given into these desires.” She hung her head, face contorted into an ashamed look, eyebrows knitted together and mouth in a tight, thin line. She sat and waited for him to respond to her confession, but heard nothing. “Father O’Hara…?”

Miguel felt his face grow warm. Unsure if the tightness he felt in his chest was jealousy or judgment, he simply kept quiet, thinking over the woman’s words.

Finally, he spoke, with a slight cracking in his voice, straining out of his throat. “With a man?” he asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

“No–! No, Father, no, certainly not,” she rushed, trying to clear her name as quickly as possible. “Certainly not, no. It’s not that.”

“Then what have you done?” His heartbeat slowed once more, feeling a bit relieved.

“It was only once, maybe twice, that I’ve done it– touched myself with these thoughts in mind.” (Y/N) absentmindedly rubbed at her temples while she spoke.

He felt a pang of guilt strike his chest as his pants tightened slightly. He knew it was wrong, he shouldn’t have been excited over this, but how could he control himself?

“It’s perverse and explicit, I cannot go into detail, for my own sake, but just know that my actions have haunted me since, and I just don’t know what to do. Father, I need your help.”

She was weak in her flesh and desire, it would be easy to prey on her, to fulfill his own desires. She was malleable under his guidance, and he knew it. Miguel also knew that what he felt was wrong, but it did not stop him from hesitating to answer her plea, mulling over what to do with his influence. His heart and mind were fighting, passion and righteousness in an entanglement he wasn’t sure his body could host much longer.

“Your sins will be forgiven, as they always will be,” he said, “but you must reach out to God to fight against the base desires that you have given into. We all sin, do we not?”

“We do, yes,” (Y/N) answered, lips coated in shiny spit from her incessant chewing and biting as she tried to keep herself grounded.

Miguel felt his eyes dip to her lips, the clear sheen of saliva practically sparkling in the low light of his office.

“Right, well,” he shook himself out of it, “we all sin, and God makes no exceptions. As long as you seek out his light, his light will shine on you, and you will be forgiven, my dear. Believe in that, and believe in the love God has for you.”

Miguel O’Hara was the leader of his local congregation. He was a man of God. He served God, and only God. He should not think these things, he knew better.

Why couldn’t he keep his mind off of her? Why couldn't he be the holy, resilient man he knew he needed to be?

The second she left his office that day, he could not stop himself. His mind raced while he imagined what she was doing on her evenings alone. It drove him crazy. Had she gone back on what she promised? Was she sinning again, hands between her legs, panties to her knees, wanton moans escaping her spit-soaked, puffy lips?

He thought he was stronger than this, and yet there he was, praying to God for the strength to fight against his urges, urges he had for that sinful, tempting woman. A woman who returned the next week with the same problem.

“I must say, my dear, I am extremely disappointed in you,” he said, standing behind her chair, leaning down to her ear.

He was a hypocrite, and he knew it. He was a sinner, a filthy sinner, and he knew it.

“Father, I–”

“Quiet down.” He placed his finger over her lip, silencing her while he continued. “You have forgotten my words. You trail out of God’s light, do you refuse forgiveness? Do you enjoy this sin?”

“No, Father O’Hara. I’m sorry,” (Y/N) choked a sob back. She felt her tears stream down her face faster than she could wipe them off.

“Penance, I’m afraid, is not a fitting punishment, dear girl. God has not turned away from you, and he never will, but,” he whispered, placing his hand under her chin and forcing him to look at him from her chair, “you must pay for what you have done. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know,” she sniffed deeply. “What must I do?”

“Do not worry about that, I shall show you. Here,” he stood up straight and tapped on his desk, “sit here.”

(Y/N) followed his directions and sat facing him. “I don’t understand, what will this do?”

Miguel didn’t answer her, instead slotting himself between her legs, kneeling before her and looking up to her through hooded eyes. He pried her legs apart with his hands, pushed her skirt upwards, and leaned in, exhaling against her clothed cunt.

“Look at that,” he nudged the wet patch on the front of her panties. “Is this what your thoughts are about?” he asked, eyes still focused on her heat. “Hm?”

“N-no, no that would be wrong!” She tried to close to her legs, but her hands held them forcefully apart.

“Do not lie in the house of God, my child,” he said flatly.

“This– this is wrong–!” She interrupted her own sentence with a small moan as she felt him lick a stripe of the fabric of her panties.

“There is nothing wrong with me absolving you of your sin, that’s all I am doing. I shall let your sin travel from inside of you to the outside. Do you not want to be free of your evil thoughts?”

A look of confliction flashed on her face. “But we aren’t married, isn’t this sinful in itself?”

“God commands me to take no wife, we are both free from that. It is my duty to guide your soul onto a holy path, won’t you let me do that?” Miguel slipped her panties down to her ankles, waiting for her to answer him.

“Father… please, just please— help me,” (Y/N) said, eyes darting away from him, shame creeping all over her body.

Miguel O’Hara was the leader of his local congregation. He was a man of God. He served God, and only God. He should not think these things, he knew better.

Why couldn’t he keep his mind off of her? Why couldn't he be the holy, resilient man he knew he needed to be?

“I must say, my dear, I am extremely disappointed in you,” he said, standing behind her chair, leaning down to her ear.

He was a hypocrite, and he knew it. He was a sinner, a filthy sinner, and he knew it.

“Father, I–”

“No, Father O’Hara. I’m sorry,” (Y/N) choked a sob back. She felt her tears stream down her face faster than she could wipe them off.

“Penance, I’m afraid, is not a fitting punishment, dear girl. God has not turned away from you, and he never will, but,” he whispered, placing his hand under her chin and forcing her to look at him from her chair, “you must pay for what you have done. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know,” she sniffed deeply. “What must I do?”

“Do not worry about that, I shall show you. Here,” he stood up straight and tapped on his desk, “sit here.”

(Y/N) followed his directions and sat facing him. “I don’t understand, what will this do?”

“Look at that,” he nudged the wet patch on the front of her panties. “Is this what your thoughts are about?” he asked, eyes still focused on her heat. “Hm?”

“N-no, no that would be wrong!” She tried to close to her legs, but his hands held them forcefully apart.

“Do not lie in the house of God, my child,” he said flatly.

“This– this is wrong–!” She interrupted her own sentence with a small moan as she felt him lick a stripe of the fabric of her panties.

A look of confliction flashed on her face. “But we aren’t married, isn’t this sinful in itself?”

“Father… please, just please— help me,” (Y/N) said, eyes darting away from him, shame creeping all over her body.

A hot, wet feeling placed itself between her thighs. Miguel spread her legs as far as they would go while he delved into her, tongue working through her slick folds.

“You are already wet, you really were thinking of this, weren't you?”

He smirked and brought his head back down, placing wet, messy kisses from her inner thigh to her throbbing clit. He honed in on the nub, wrapping his chapped lips around it and swirling it around with his tongue.

(Y/N) looked down and watched as his brown hair moved back and forth as he lapped at her cunt. Hesitating, she reached her hand out and gripped his hair, holding him in place, and rolling her hips onto his face. Her hips stuttered as she moved, moans catching in her throat.

“F–Father, it feels– I feel—”

“I know, you are very close.”

She looked confused, not sure what he meant. “Huh–?”

Miguel pulled her hand out of his hair and pushed her down on the desk, flat with her legs in the air. He spat directly onto her cunt, spreading it with his tongue. He craned his head back and locked eyes with her, replacing his mouth with his fingers, circling her clit quickly with his thumb.

“Do you feel that tightness building up?”

“Yes, make it stop, it feels odd, please. Make it stop,” she said, grabbing onto his wrist while her rubbed her.

Miguel shushed her, placing his other hand on her thigh. “Just wait, (Y/N).”

Thumb still focused on her bud, he pushed his tongue into her entrance, feeling her tight walls fight and clench against his prodding. He slurped at her walls and dripping arousal.

“No, no– I–!”

Her hips involuntarily rolled against his face one final time before she felt the tight coil in her stomach burst. Her thighs squeezed over Miguel’s head and kept him in place as she came, legs shaking and mind blurring.

(Y/N) let go of his head quickly, sitting up on the desk and pulling away from him. He wiped her slick from his mouth and chin, cleaning his face from the sheen of her cum.

“Father O’Hara, are you okay? I didn’t mean to do that, I don’t know what came over me…”

“Hush, now. Save your words for what is to come,” he said, standing to his full height.

He pulled her body back to the edge, pushing her down, flat on her back. Pulling himself out of his pants, he adjusted right at her entrance. Before pushing in, he took hold of both of her hands, holding them above her head.

“This will hurt. You will bleed, but you must relax. Do you understand?” He saw her nod. “Good girl.”

He pushed into her, slowly inching his tip forward. (Y/N)’s hands clenched, fingers dug into her palms while he painstakingly forced his hips further.

“Relax,” Miguel whispered as he dipped his head down to be level with her ear, “don’t squeeze so tight, just let me work you open.”

He bottomed out, sliding all of his length into her.

“No, hurts s’bad, can’t take it ‘nymore!” She whined loudly, tears flowing out of her eyes due to the harsh stretch of his cock.

He was so big, and she was so small. He should have been careful with her, and he should have treated her like the fragile little thing she was.

It only made him fuck her rougher.

His muscled hips pull out of her, tip barely staying inside.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t take it, I–”

“Yes, you can.”

He snapped into her. His thrust knocked the wind out of her lungs, having her choke on her words. (Y/N)’s hands immediately flew to his clothed shoulders, gripping onto them. To steady herself, she dug further into them, practically ripping the fabric of his shirt.

The sound of her half-pained, half-pleasured noises send him back to his movements. He starts thrusting, quickly fucking into her heat.

“You are taking me so well, you sure it’s your first time?” he asks, smirking.

“Yes, Father. I-I’ve never done this before,” she said through gritted teeth, “Dunno if ‘m doin’ it right.”

Miguel grunted and deepened his strokes. “Just let me do it, just gotta– gotta sit there n’ take it.” He allowed himself to kiss the tip of her cervix with his cock’s head, shallowly impacting onto the sensitive spot.

His hands fall to her hips. He grips onto them and holds her in place, keeping his brutal pace. He eyed the thick, white ring of her arousal forming on the base of his thick length, watching it grow and shift as he pounded into her fluttery walls.

“S’happening again, fix it–! Please, Father,” she felt a strong pang of ecstacy crash over her.

“Mhm..”

A few scattered thrusts nudged her over the edge. (Y/N)’s walls clenched repeatedly over Miguel’s dick, squeezing him tightly with her velvety, slick cunt.

“Fuck, c’mon now, relax.” His eyebrows knitted together as he massaged her hips, trying to get her to relax. “So tight, damn.” He finally pulled himself out and took to pumping himself in his hand. (Y/N) watched him fist his cock between her legs.

“Ah–”

He came onto his palm. The sticky, thin seed covered his palm. Miguel licked his cum off of his hand, watching as (Y/N)’s face heated up as he did. He cleaned it off, letting his tongue dart between his fingers to tease the girl before stopping and wiping the rest onto the girl’s cheek.

“Come, down now,” he said, pulling her off of the desk. He chuckled as she stumbled over to the door, legs weak.

“Thank you, Father,” (Y/N) croaked out, holding onto the doorknob. “But, what– if I keep thinking those thoughts, what do I do? Will I be forgiven?”

Miguel took his spot at his desk, wiping away at the wet spots left on the wood.

“If you continue to be plagued by such thoughts,” he said, “do not be afraid to come back to my office. Remember, we all sin, but we can always fight for forgiveness.”

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abybweisse · 3 months

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Hey Aby ! I have a question (actually, two) for you regarding bizzare dolls that came into my mind just recently, maybe you’ve answered this question before so i apologize in advance.

Firstly, why do you think the Star Lords exist in the first place ? Like, sure, they “take care” of the blood collecting centers, but what else ? Do you think they have any purpose other than this ? Are they part of something greater ? Because as of now it seems to me they’re actually a waste of energies for Undertaker (like, you know, having to harvest blood for all of them, making sure they’re healthy and don’t lose control…)

Second and last question, why the different blood types ? I’ll explain this better, if Undertaker’s main goal is to keep R!Ciel ‘alive’ why not collecting just Sirius blood and calling it a day ?

I take this opportunity to thank you for being the literal pillar and backbone of our fandom 🫶🏻 who knows what we would be without you ! Lots of love !

⚠️ long post ⚠️

Ok, so I've sort of answered these questions before, but I'll try to be more specific and in depth about it here.

Why the Star Lords to begin with?

There are several parts to this answer, and I'll go into some more details about each one:

The star lords exist because Undertaker wants to bring back real Ciel

Even this part of the answer requires looking at a few different aspects. Real Ciel is one of the star lords, so wanting to bring him back automatically explains why he's one of them. Bringing in other individuals can serve some purposes. Such as:

So real Ciel isn't the only one; he's not alone. It gives him the added bonus of having (loyal) allies to go up against our earl and his allies (particularly Baldo, Mey-Rin, and Finny). These star lords can fight very well (though that might not be the case for real Ciel, since he's apparently only getting AB blood transfusions. More on that later. And he might naturally not be as physically inclined or well-trained). We pretty much have to assume, by now, that Polaris is the one who kills Agni. Real Ciel shooting at Soma (who mistook the shooter for our earl) and Polaris (mistaken for Sebastian, probably) killing Agni turned Soma into an enemy. Much of the star lords' existence seems to be about getting rid of our earl's support system.

The others might end up serving real Ciel in some other way, too, such as collecting blood supplies from the other facilities; we know Vega (Layla/Al) and Polaris are sent off by Undertaker to do that. At some point, real Ciel wants one of them to act as his butler, and later Polaris seems to be filling that role, even though he was away and unable to serve as one earlier. Either way, Polaris identifies as a butler "even in death".

So there's a representative for each major blood type (more on that in part two). That's about religion (or occultism), symbolism, and balance. It's also about scientific research.

The star lords exist because Undertaker wants to make a point to our earl about the choices he makes (which I find very ironic).

Choosing Doll (to represent Canopus) might have something to do with wanting to make our earl feel guilty for her death... if he ever sees her or finds out about her return. We won't know what/how he finds out until we get back to him and he's receiving reports. We aren't quite sure yet who Polaris is, but I suspect he's a former Phantomhive butler, and that could make our earl feel bad about his death, too, even though there was no way for him to prevent it. (Mostly, someone like a former Phantomhive butler for Polaris would be for the fierce loyalty that could be achieved with his "episodes".)

The star lords exist because Yana-san needs to provide more adversity.

Undertaker might also see Doll as someone who could take Snake away from our earl, because of their history. And even if Undertaker doesn't have that in mind, Yana-san sure does; it makes sense from a writer's perspective to have each of our earl's helpers deal with something that exposes their emotions and/or weaknesses. With Doll, Snake feels a sense of belonging, while Finny feels guilt. Layla/Al is good to go up against Lau and Baldo because they likely wouldn't suspect a little girl (by all appearances) to be much of a threat. Polaris is so strong, fast, and flexible that Mey-Rin and Ran-Mao have no idea how lucky they are that they were gone by the time Polaris found out what had happened. Agni and Soma weren't as lucky, dealing with Polaris and real Ciel. 😢

The star lords exist because backers of Aurora Society begged and/or paid to have dead loved ones revived.

At least that's what I think in the case of Layla/Al. I suspect she might be Baron Heathfield's dead daughter. Undertaker agreeing to help restore Heathfield's family might be why Heathfield got involved with Undertaker and the Aurora Society. Not just to find the right "soul shape" for his wife... but also to somehow revive his daughter.

The star lords exist because Undertaker is still curious about humanity (life, death, souls, etc.).

He's continuing to experiment. Even though the main purpose seems to be to revive real Ciel, the effects are much wider in scope. They really are one big series of experiments. Some elements of what he's been working on (possibly with a helper, like Druitt, on the medical aspects):

Manipulating cinematic records. He started out -- probably long before real Ciel was killed -- just adding little snippets of himself to their records, much like the BDs on the ship. He says that when he started working on real Ciel his revival techniques weren't up to snuff (not nonexistent, just not strong enough), so he needed to make quick progress. The others on the ship weren't for that purpose, so they don't really count here. The murders at Weston gave him an opportunity to improve upon record manipulation. And so do the other lords of the stars. This gives him more time to cherry pick which "episodes" to use for each one.

Blood typing and transfusion technology. It is way more advanced (than it should be at this time) because of his work... or the work of whoever is helping him in the lab. It's already led to the development of dialysis machines, too, which brings in another money-making opportunity. The star lords might not have functioning hearts, bone marrow, livers, or kidneys, so the blood transfusions are an ongoing need.

Organ transplants. Experimentation continues with organ transplants, since the orphanage staff mentions something about how hard it is to match the kids up with the star lords based on aptitude. With organ transplants, matching blood type isn't always enough. The personality test doesn't guarantee any more precision, of course, either, but that's not exactly the purpose of that test. Also, transplanted organs don't last forever, even in living humans, so they probably last even less time in a BD. As a star lord wears out their transfused blood, they probably also wear out transplanted organs and other tissues.

Soul transplants. We don't have absolute proof just yet, but I do think Undertaker is also experimenting with transplanting souls into the star lords. On the ship, he says BDs can't do anything with the souls of the people they attack. And he says he can't make souls. However, he hasn't said he can't manipulate souls that already exist; definitely, he has soul manipulation abilities that the BDs lack, and I think he's testing the limits of his own abilities. He's also got Heathfield thinking that he needs to find a woman with a soul the same "shape" as his dead wife's. As I said before, I think Undertaker might be using Heathfield's dead wife as a test subject for soul transplants. I do think he wants to transplant a similar or same-shaped soul into each of the star lords. Either Layla has Al due to one of these experiments... or Undertaker chose Layla to be one of the star lords partly because she already has Al, and Undertaker wants to study this dual personality. His reasoning might go that if he could just transplant the right soul into a star lord, then that star lord would be truly revived... would be able to pump and clean the blood that's been transfused... would be able to make more blood for themselves... would be able to make better use of the organs they've received.

The star lords exist because Undertaker needs a gimmick to lure in people to give blood (whether or not they know that blood is being taken) and for patrons to donate money.

And that's where the different blood types become even more important.

Why the different blood types?

I suppose Undertaker could focus all the efforts on just getting AB "Sirius" blood for real Ciel. But there are benefits to collecting all four types in the ABO blood grouping system (ignoring Rh factor).

AB is rare, and it would still require blood typing a large number of people to figure out who has AB. Hence why they opened Sphere Music Hall and made it a mixing space for all walks of life, placed ads for maids of all backgrounds for Heathfield, offered state of the art medical services for veterans at Athena Sanatorium. and provided a shelter and rare education opportunity for orphans at F. O. L. And people would feel unwelcome if most of them (or any of them, really) were turned away. Making the facilities as inclusive as possible (particularly the music hall and Heathfield's manor) increases the likelihood of getting enough AB blood for real Ciel.

And since Undertaker (and whoever) now also has all this blood for A, B, and O, he should do something with it. By then, probably anticipating the fact that he'd have blood supplies for different recipients, he'd have selected the other three star lords to match the remaining blood types. Each star lord just sort of falls into place, most likely. Real Ciel has AB. "Polaris" is A, so that works. This girl Layla is unusual, plus she's got type O; great, let's bring her on board. And Doll happens to be B; perfect, now all four types are covered.

In the case of Sphere Music Hall, there's also a major occult aspect to it, and having these four portray worshipped individuals works out well to lure people in and gives each visitor a purpose. Even the lesser "stars" that make up the multitudes are useful. Truth is, most of them didn't even know about the star lords; they were too caught up in adoration for the idol singers. Built-in idolatry. Layer upon layer to shroud the star lords in mystery.

For a while, there was so much extra A and O blood that they could also distribute it to renal failure patients who donated money to Aurora Society. Like those old guys in Bath.

There's also the fact that a major truth about the ABO blood grouping system has been, so far, either ignored or misunderstood within the story. When it comes to whole blood transfusions, AB is the universal recipient, so real Ciel doesn't have to "starve" from the scarcity of his blood type. All this time, he could have accepted any of them. It actually all could have been collected for him... from anyone (again, ignoring rh factor). All this trouble to collect AB blood for him could have been avoided, but either the researchers don't yet know this fact, or they know but still aren't making use of it. There is also the possibility that even real Ciel now knows this, but he's refusing anything but AB due to elitist bias. Keep in mind that they have created their own caste system within this "blue cult", despite saying how everyone is welcome and to be treated equally. There's obviously a premium put on Sirius and Canopus. And there've been a few times where individuals talked down to anyone who wasn't amongst the cult's elite and described the vast majority of participants as lesser or "dim" stars.

I'm still waiting for someone (maybe Sieglinde?) to point this out to Undertaker (and whoever is doing the bulk of the blood work). So, part of the reason to have a star lord for each blood type might be to lead up to the revelation that they went through a bunch of completely unnecessary lengths... and to maybe show them that -- for all the knowledge they had -- they still knew so little.

Well, I hope this sufficiently answers your questions. 😂 I feel like I'm forgetting something, but after typing this much, I can't think too clearly about what that might be. 😮‍💨 😅

And thank you so much!! 😊

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imustbenuts · 7 months

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Reading Grima as an Abrahamic god stand-in in the world of Fire Emblem, and how that is filling in gaps in the narrative.

Preface: this is one possible interpretation out of many, and I will be talking about this pov as a person who resides in SEA.

To get to understand this worldview though, some very dry explanations need to be done, but I'll do my best.

First, an overview of Grima.

Grima in FE: Awakening's story functions as a god of annihilation/death. They are worshiped and brought back into the world by the Grimleals, an extremist religious group in Plegia, which is visually middle eastern desert-ish.

Meanwhile, their Japanese name is actually Gimlé, a reference to the Norse mythos of the place where survivors of Ragnarok (an end of the world apocalyptic event where gods duke it out way too hard) are foretold to live. It's a super pretty place, almost heavenly.

So there is some credence here to hint that Grimleals are the extremist sect, and that Grima inherently isn't good or evil, but possibly a death god closer to the likes of Anubis or Hades. This can then explain why Plegians who aren't extremists are said to be pretty chill.

Anyway, moving on, because I need to explain the next bit to really highlight how much he looks like an Abrahamic god to a someone like me.

FE's world is structurally polytheistic. Or, Shinto Buddhist.

On the surface, FE puts forth the idea of polytheism in the form of multiple Dragons, without a singular clear, definite distinction for what threshold exactly qualifies one to be a legit God vs just-a-dragon. In fact, it can be summed up as "this one is powerful enough to do things, and/or because we decided so" by the people.

So, that tracks with the belief system in place in Japan and really, the whole of Asia in general. Polytheism is the norm, rather than mono. In this view, any being which are not human all belong into the classification of supernatural, so the question of how god-like they are matters after they are able to pass a certain threshold of power or worshiping status.

A popularity contest of spirits/gods, if you want to put it that way. In fact, lots of eastern gods irl are like this. Power often doesn't factor into things, since these gods are very closely associated with nature in some form, and their popularity in history is very dependent on events.

In fact, Japan follows Shinto Buddhism, a polytheistic belief. Technically made of 2 parts.

Shinto supplies the idea that Gods (or rather, kamis) in general cannot be perceived, and that they must be loved and nurtured to gain their favor. Disregarding them brings instead disharmony and destruction. Shrines are one such places where the love and nurturing or the disregard can be seen/done. (Thebes labyrinth, anyone? 😉👌)

The other, Buddhism. Also polytheistic due to reframing gods as just other beings trying to break out of the cycle of samsara. Buddha is technically not a god, but a title, and an idol to look to to remember the teachings of how to break out of this cycle, by understanding suffering and how to end it.

In some ways, Naga, the biggest defacto "god" which is treated as the 'proper' God by the narrative, is actually more of a Buddha. Her voice lines in FEH even points to this:

Meanwhile, Libra uses the plural, gods. Frederick's famous crit quote is "Pick a god and pray."

That is what I mean by FE being structurally Shinto Buddhist.

Meanwhile, Abrahamic religion is monotheistic.

Without getting too deep into the details and scholarly debates of it, or even the multiple branches of religion, the singular God in this family does not want his followers to turn their eyes towards other false gods. One is meant to devote themself entirely to this God, follow his teachings and live a life he deems worthy to live with him in the beautiful, heavenly afterlife.

Failure to do so will mean a divine retribution of sorts, but often in the form of eternal damnation.

Another noteworthy bit, Abrahamic religion originated from the place we call the Cradle of Civilization, also known as the Middle East. Which, you know. Deserts.

And now, the pieces of Grima being a Abrahamic god stand-in starts to form. And that then explains a lot of other mundane unexplained bits too.

Basically, Grima is the patron deity of the Plegians, who reside in the harsh desert.

If we assume that normal Plegians are pretty chill despite Grima being associated with straight up annihilation, then a pretty good extrapolation would be that Grima is a watcher type deity of the afterlife for their worship. This type is typically popular as they soothe the anxiety of what happens to a person after death, explaining that there is something else other than pure emptiness, which frankly can kick many people's existential dread into overdrive.

Which, if one really thinks about it, the Abrahamic religion and their God kind of is this.

God watches a human, then judges them for their actions in life when their time is up. In some interpretations afaik, God can also be seen as a 'system' or a 'higher conscious', but the idea of being able to join with him is still the same. This is still the ultimate honor and bliss, ie, heavenly.

But in order to do so, one must wholly devote themself to him. Spread his word. Ignore all other Gods. You know how it goes.

With Grima, this bit manifests in how Grima kills Naga in the Future Past DLC. Even Tiki became a target, who wants to become the next Naga in it. (Which btw this wouldn't make sense unless one treats the word, Naga, as a title, which tracks.)

So. In conclusion.

What I'm trying to say here is that Grima is easily read as a monotheistic, or even a Christian god to many people on this side of the planet. Because there has been precedent in extremism when it comes to religion associated with Abrahamic religion, and this is how it's being expressed through the writers when they create FE.

And yet, because either the world of FE is structurally shinto buddhist, or the writers are, this is the result, and why I have interpreted Grima as this.

There are also elements of that mistreatment of a god narrative going on in FE:A that I think is worth talking about for Grima, too. I'm almost certain that the writers are not saying Grima is inherently evil, in fact, the narrative of good and evil in FE is often easily explained by characters being dreadfully flawed, and even human. And because of how Gods have this piece of humanity in them, it's possible for so many narratives to be the way they are.

And maaaybe why they decided to put Grima in a cat costume for Halloween banner with all the funny lines that comes with them. I think.

And that's about it, really. Ask is always open. Thanks for reading! 🎃🎃

#fire emblem awakening #grima fe #grima fire emblem awakening #analysis

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gamerwoo · 11 months

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[Tales from the Pack] Soonyoung: Imperfect (Part 10)

Characters: Soonyoung x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, mild angst??, they talk a lot about like rut and stuff but nothing happens, mention of religion at the beginning, i think that’s it but lmk if i missed anything :)

Word count: 3,654

Summary: Soonyoung has always been desperate to find his mate, often going out into town at night to fill the void of imprinting that he craves so much. Then suddenly, you (quite literally) appear in front of him. He’d always dreamed and fantasized about what having his mate would be like, but the reality is nothing like he expected.

a/n: things in bold are in english and whenever soonyoung says reader’s name it’s meant to be reader’s surname

Previous | Next | Imperfect Masterlist

You both knew it was coming. It was kind of weird that you could sense it. There was a shift in Soonyoung, both in how he was acting and other things that you could just sense -- things your instincts picked up on that weren’t necessarily things you could physically see. They were signs you were already familiar with because of the boys in your pack, but these ones were impacting you, now. It was different. It was scary.

It was...intriguing.

Your mate’s rut was coming up very soon. Obviously that was a conversation that hadn’t come up between the two of you, but now that you could sense the change, you knew Soonyoung would want to talk about it.

God, you moving in was really bad timing.

“Y’know, I was never quite sure if I believed in God or Gods or any higher power,” Soonyoung began as he sat in the kitchen, sitting at one of the chairs at the table with his head back as he stared at the ceiling, “but now I’m positive there’s one out there because they fucking hate me.”

“Could just chalk everything up to fate like Lilly used to,” Jun shrugged.

“Maybe it is,” Seungcheol offered. “Maybe this is how you and _____ will really start bonding.”

Soonyoung’s eyes widened, his head lifting up like he was being raised from the dead as he stared at the eldest, “That is not how I want to bond.”

“Your track record implies otherwise,” Danbi snorted, making the others in the kitchen laugh along.

“Well, not now!”

“So what’re you going to do, then?” Yeji wondered. “She moved in hardly a week ago. You’re gonna kick her back out?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” he sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t be around her like this. It’s way too soon for us to be doing...any of that, and I don’t want the first time to be because of fucking rut.”

Jihoon scoffed, “Since when are you a gentleman?”

“Speak for yourself.”

“Aw, Soonie was a hopeless romantic the whole time,” Danbi cooed. “He just...had unconventional ways of trying to find his mate.”

“How’re you going to boot her?” Yeji asked bluntly, changing the subject back.

“Considering I probably can’t word it very well, I was hoping...maybe...Kyu--”

“No.”

The newer alpha walked into the kitchen before Soonyoung could even get her name fully out of his mouth. His golden eyes widened as his eyes followed her like a helpless puppy. He scrambled to his feet and immediately stood behind her as she opened the fridge door, her curly hair tickling his nose from how close he got to her.

“Please?” he begged. “I can’t nicely ask her to leave. I can’t even explain to her what’s happening! I’d need your help anyway so why not just do it for me?”

“Because she’s not my mate, Soon,” she chuckled, turning around and putting a hand to his chest to gently push him backwards a couple steps. “I’m not talking to her about anybody’s mating season. That’s between you, her, and Mother Nature.”

“And how am I supposed to explain it to her when I don’t even know the words to do it?” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and furrowing his brow. “Face it, you need to help me.”

“I don’t need to do anything,” she stated, mimicking his expression and body language. “You don’t have any alpha charge over me.”

The two stood there in a silent battle to see who would break, but neither seemed to do so. Eyes narrowed and tension so thick it was almost palatable, the two alphas stared each other down unwaveringly.

“I’ll do it.”

All eyes in the kitchen went to the doorway to see a tired Josh standing beside an ever-chipper-looking Arinya, her hand in his. He looked like a disheveled and grumpy father bringing his daughter downstairs too early on Christmas morning, and a few of the wolves couldn’t help but scoff and snort.

Kyung and Soonyoung both figured that if anyone were to concede and offer help, it would’ve been Hansol. They were honestly both surprised to see the eldest of the English speakers being the one to step up -- especially considering he never wanted to help anyone.

“You’ll do it?” Junhui laughed. “Did we all just forget about the last time you ‘helped’ Soonyoung and _____?”

Joshua merely rolled his eyes as Ari let go of his hand to scurry into the kitchen in search of breakfast. He entered at a much slower pace, relaxing down into a wooden chair at the end of the table.

“I learned my lesson, alright?” he insisted, though he seemed pretty bored. “Plus, _____ unfortunately would be able to understand at least part of what he says, so lying would be kind of hard.”

“Wow, how kind of you,” Danbi deadpanned.

“Why’re you volunteering?” Seungcheol asked him curiously, studying him carefully for any signs of ulterior motives. “You never wanted to help with their English lessons.”

“Because,” he let out a deep sigh, “I really don’t feel like hearing Soonyoung fuck her brains out.”

The kitchen filled with murmurs of agreement as Soonyoung’s face turned bright red and he frowned deeply at the older wolf.

Joshua took notice of his expression and smiled a stupid, shit-eating grin, “Do you want someone’s help or not?”

“Fine, whatever,” was all he grumbled in reply.

Maybe Hansol would’ve been first to step in and offer his help, but he was out with you, anyway. Him, Minghao, and Jia went to the market with you because the pack needed a few things, and you knew of a vendor from New Zealand who always gave you really good discounts.

After only a few minutes of talking with Jia, though, he offered to give you some things for free.

“I really don’t think he was hitting on her,” Hansol insisted so Minghao’s jealousy wouldn’t get too out of hand.

But he was jealous. He didn’t understand why that vendor would just give them stuff unless he had some sort of interest in his mate.

“_____, what do you think?” Hansol asked you, turning to his right to look at you.

You had vaguely gotten the gist of the conversation, so you shrugged, “He didn’t look at her any kind of weird way. I don’t know, Minghao, I think Jia’s just really likeable.”

When Hansol translated, Jia giggled softly in response, “Thank you.”

“I think anybody would give her the shirt off their back if she asked,” you continued.

“Exactly!” Hansol chuckled.

The rest of the walk through the forest was mostly filled with Hansol trying to explain to Minghao the odd affect his mate had on everyone around her, which was why the vendor probably did what he did. But it seemed like Minghao wasn’t letting up on his opinion that the guy had an interest in Jia.

As you approached the house, you could see Hanbin, Jaesang, and Baekhan standing in the yard, talking to Seungcheol, Jooyeon, Danbi, Joshua, and Soonyoung. As soon as you could be seen in the trees, Soonyoung’s eyes locked on you and his body went slightly rigid despite the wide smile on his face seeing you come back from the market.

It wasn’t surprising to you that a few members of your old pack -- that felt so weird to say -- had shown up. They promised to help bring a few remaining things from your room to your new house.

Except they still had things in their arms, and it was things you had already brought to the house. So why did they have them with them outside?

You could tell they were talking about moving -- you’d heard enough about that all week to know. Something about moving and only staying for a week. Something about it being quick and easy, and something about wondering if you’d agree to it.

You? Why would you be moving away?

Were they kicking you out?

Your blood suddenly started to feel cold. You wondered if they maybe couldn’t make it work like Kyung and Soonyoung insisted they could. Maybe there were too many people in the house. Or maybe you were too much of a handful. You tried to be helpful, but you obviously weren’t the easiest person to communicate with, and you still tended to get shy and a little nervous pretty often.

As your small group approached, the eyes of your pack were drawn to you, causing your old pack to turn around to see who was coming. All of them -- except Jooyeon and Danbi -- were either smiling or laughing quietly at something.

“Um...did you guys forget somebody?” Jooyeon asked.

Minghao and Hansol both gave them confused looks before turning to make sure everyone was accounted for. Jia, who was the most likely to get lost, was still between them, her head angled upwards like she was looking up at Minghao to understand what Jooyeon was talking about.

Then they looked to the end, and Hansol’s eyes widened, leaning away from where he was sure you were standing, but he couldn’t physically see you there.

You were invisible, your nerves getting the best of you and it just...happened. It was a typical occurrence, and it became so common for it to happen that you didn’t even really realize when it did anymore.

“Why are you hiding?” Soonyoung giggled, walking right up to you and taking both of your hands in his like he could see you.

He just always knew where you were. It was both endearing in a cheesy soulmate-y kind of way, and also somewhat frightening and a bit annoying.

You came back into view, your wide, worried eyes looking at Hanbin as you asked quietly, “Am I moving?”

Hanbin immediately looked at Soonyoung, seeming somehow more frightened than you.

Soonyoung looked at him, then back at you. Then he turned to look at Joshua over his shoulder, “Hey, uh...help?”

Seungcheol’s arm was around Jooyeon, and he lightly tapped against he shoulder, “We should go inside.”

“What? Why?” she whined as he began to slowly drag her away. “I wanna see what happens!”

“It’s none of our business, baby,” he told her.

“But you’ll know! You’ll hear everything!”

“We’ll be, um...in the backyard,” Hanbin decided, looking between you and Soonyoung. “Come find us when you’re done.”

As they walked away, and the rest of the pack went inside the house, Joshua stepped forward to stand beside your mate. He told you what your old alpha told you, and your eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s going on...?” you wondered in a small voice, looking between the two men like they were towering menacingly over you, when they were actually standing casually beside each other.

“You’re fading again,” Joshua stated.

You fixed yourself and rolled your shoulders back, trying to relax yourself and take a deep breath. But the longer they weren’t telling you, the more anxious you were getting.

“_____,” Soonyoung said your first name for the first time as he stepped closer and gave your hands a gentle squeeze, and it made your heart sink into your stomach. That had to be a bad sign. Soonyoung never called you by your first name, or even the nickname your old pack had given you. But he seemed to be able to tell how scared you were from how your eyes widened and your breathing hitched slightly, and he quickly said, “Baby, it’s nothing bad, I promise.”

Still, that didn’t help.

“Can you just say what you need to say?” Joshua pressed. “You’re stressing her out more doing it slowly.”

Soonyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Can you relax, drama queen? You’re hardly even the one telling her,” the older man told him, rolling his eyes.

Your mate’s eyes opened again, staring straight into yours.

“I need you to leave for about a week--”

Your eyes widened again.

“Only a week!” he told you quickly. “You will come back to me, I promise. I just...”

He looked to Joshua for guidance.

Josh was looking at you while he listened to Soonyoung, but when the alpha stopped, he slowly turned his head to look at him. Then he gave him a ‘what?’ sort of gesture with a mean look to go with it.

“You’re the alpha,” he reminded Soonyoung.

“You’ve been alive longer than me,” Soonyoung retorted. “And you said you’d help me, so help. What do I even say?”

“Just tell her.”

Soonyoung looked back at you, looking almost as scared as you probably did.

“My rut is starting really soon, so I want you to go back with Hanbin for a little while.”

All you caught was ‘go with Hanbin’, so you just blinked as your look of worry started to border on confusion.

The alpha looked to Joshua again, “See, you should’ve just told her.”

The healer let out a deep and annoyed sigh, rolling his eyes before he looked back at you. Thankfully, any hostility he held toward his alpha didn’t show when he looked at you. He looked much softer, which helped your nerves.

“Soonyoung’s asking you to leave while his rut is happening,” he told you earnestly. “You’re obviously more than welcome to come back after it’s over, but he wants you away from him while it’s happening.”

Your body warmed, like you felt the blood rushing back into every limb. You felt like you could breath again, and your expression definitely relaxed. But still, you were confused. Soonyoung didn’t want you around? Wasn’t the opposite supposed to happen?

“I want to ask why...but-- ...No offense, but I don’t really want you explaining any of this to me...” you admitted shyly, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Josh just let out a laugh and told you, “I don’t really want to explain it to you, either. I just have to be here so you both understand each other.”

“Okay, then,” you breathed, figuring you really had no choice but to let Josh be included in your business. You would’ve rather had Kyung or Rika, but Rika was a handful of miles away, and you didn’t want to force Kyung to come play translator for you. So you looked to Soonyoung and carried on with the conversation. “Why don’t you want me around?”

“I will,” he told you with a chuckle. “That’s the problem. My-- Um... My rut this time around will be a lot stronger now that I found you. So not only do I not want to hurt you or be too much for you, but...I really don’t want our...first time together...to be during mating season. I know my rut also affects you, and I don’t want you to feel...obligated. I don’t want it to be forced because of instinct. I want it to be...special.”

You could tell even Soonyoung was getting uncomfortable speaking with Josh around, but his brother kept his expression neutral the whole time as he listened, and even when he did his best to translate. It was like none of it phased him even though the two of you were literally talking about sex.

After Josh was done, you frowned, sounding more offended than anything as you said, “You can’t hurt me.”

“You know what I mean,” Soonyoung laughed, shaking his head. “I’m assuming you’ve never experienced someone else’s rut. We can get...intense.”

“And I can attest to that,” Joshua admitted after he translated.

You scrunched your nose as you thought, letting out a deep breath through your nose. When you relaxed your face after considering everything for only a moment, you looked back at Soonyoung and shrugged.

“I think I’ll be fine,” you stated quietly.

Joshua scoffed before he let out a loud laugh, and Soonyoung gave you an incredulous look.

“Are you telling me you want to stay?” he asked.

You nodded, “Yeah.”

“Why?”

You shrugged again despite your face feeling the hottest it ever has, and your voice came out shyly, “I don’t know. We already know we’re made for each other and stuff... As your mate, aren’t I supposed to...help?”

“There’s never any obligation,” Joshua told you seriously without even telling Soonyoung what you said. “Even as a mate, you can always say no.”

“I guess I just...want to...?”

God, you wanted to sink into the ground.

But it was true. You felt these feelings for Soonyoung, and you liked the idea of being with him -- even if you hated having to admit it to not only Soonyoung himself, but also his grumpy brother.

“I can’t even see you,” Josh said.

You came back into view as Soonyoung laughed loudly, his thumbs rubbing the backs of your hands, “It’s awkward, right?”

You nodded as you started to laugh awkwardly, too, “I hate this.”

Once you both stopped laughing, Soonyoung let out a breath. He looked deep into your eyes as he said, “_____, I can’t even tell you how happy it makes me to know you trust me enough to be with me like that. Happy is an understatement, honestly. I know how you are, and I know that this is...a huge step. I’m honored and elated and-- I just feel every good thing knowing you want to do all of that with me. But I really, really think it’s best for both of us if we wait. Not only does my hormones mess with you which is probably why you feel like you want to help, but what am I going to do if I can’t understand you and I accidentally go too far or hurt you somehow? I couldn’t live with myself.”

Joshua groaned, “Do I really have to say all of that?”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes before glaring at his brother, “You’re awful help, you know that?”

“I got it.”

Soonyoung and Joshua turned their heads toward each other to look over their shoulders, seeing Kyung already coming down the short steps from the porch. Like when Joshua volunteered, Soonyoung expected to see Hansol coming to volunteer, especially after Kyung made such a huge deal about not helping. But God, was he relieved to see her coming to his rescue.

“I can’t listen to you two bicker any longer,” she stated as she walked up between the two brothers. Then she pointed at Josh. “And if I had to listen to you sigh again, I think I’d ask Seokmin to strike me with lightning.”

To that, he smirked, “I knew if I did a shitty enough job, you’d come do it instead.”

Her eyes narrowed, and you saw small flames start to spark from her fingertips. It was then that Joshua quickly wished you luck before walking about as fast as you’d ever seen him toward the backyard.

Kyung looked to you with soft eyes, placing a hand on your shoulder, “_____, it really does mean a lot to him that you trust him that much and want to be with him like that -- more than I think I could even attempt to put into words -- but he really wants you to wait. Since neither of you can fully understand each other, it’s more of a safety thing more than anything. If he can’t understand you, there’s a possibility he could hurt you. On top of that, his hormones have an affect on you and vice versa. The reason you feel like you want to help could totally just be because of the change in him. It’s almost...forced, in a way.”

“How could he hurt me?” you wondered sincerely, ignoring every other reason.

“You know how during heat, you become... What’s the word...? Insatiable, I suppose? Like nothing is enough and you need more?”

“I guess.”

“It’s like that, but now it’s worse because now he has a mate,” she explained. “So, he honestly could hurt you. He’s not exaggerating.”

You frowned slightly. It seemed like there was no persuading him to let you stay. Considering it wasn’t just a matter of not wanting to have your first time together be during mating season, but more so a safety risk, you didn’t have much to fight against. You couldn’t argue that you’d be fine and understand him well enough because Kyung and Joshua still had to translate the conversation you were currently having. You didn’t have an argument here.

So you conceded with a sigh and a quiet, “Fine...”

Soonyoung gave you an apologetic look as he let go of one of your hands to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb rubbing across your cheeks that still felt impossibly hot, “It’s only for a week, give or take a few days.”

“I know...” you mumbled.

He stepped forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead before he tried to smile at you, even though your eyes were on the ground instead of looking at him.

“I made sure to give Hanbin and the boys your essentials,” he told you. “They’ll walk you back with them.”

“‘Kay...”

“Are you mad at me?” he asked quietly, his small smile forming.

Finally, you met his eyes, “No. No, I’m-- ...I don’t really know what I am. I think I’m...disappointed, maybe. I don’t know...”

Soonyoung let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug, “I’m sorry, baby.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” you told him. “I guess I just wish I learned faster.”

“C’mon,” Kyung tugged gently on your elbow to pull you away from Soonyoung -- who honestly, didn’t really want to let go because of his rut nearing, “I’ll bring you to Hanbin. Soon should probably go inside.”

So you said goodbye to your mate and followed Kyung to your old alpha so he could bring you back to your old home.

Only a week after you’d moved into your new one.

»»————-　　————-««

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fandxmslxt69 · 10 months

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Holidays With Them <3

Steven Grant x f!muslim!reader, Jake Lockley x f!muslim!reader, Marc Spector x f!muslim!reader

Warnings: Absolutely tooth rooting fluff, ohmy god it is so so sweet you'll get a cavity. Lots of religion talk, food talk too. This is written with an Arab hijabi reader in mind so yes, it is a female reader!

A/N: AHHHH YOU DONT GET THE GIGGLES I GOT WHILE WRITING THIS!!! There is such a big lack of muslim!reader fics out there so it's my new mission to PUT THEM out there for the sake of me, and all of you pretty baes who asked for a tag or reached out about how touching the little blurb was, THANK YOU.

Synopsis: Disgustingly sweet Ramadan and Eid activities with your favourite boys

Word count: 2215 (sigh. I told you guys.)

Steven Grant:

Steven’s a very curious soul, and he’s the kind of person who adores learning about new places, people and cultures. So you can imagine when you first started dating, he was already knee deep in studies of Arabian cultures and traditions (he’s a nerd but he’s cute).

He’s regularly a very comforting person but you swear you’ve never met anyone who you feel so free and open to talk about your heritage and religion with. Naturally, when Ramadan and Eid came around, Steven was actually beyond excited. While he may have done a lot (and I mean a lot.) of research, he also loved listening to you talk for hours about traditions and Islamic history, so he absolutely made sure to sit down and ask at least a million questions, half of which you know he knew the answer to, he just wanted to hear it from you.

By the time the first week had passed, he’d taken time off from work and decided he was just going to stay home with you for the rest of it even after you protested multiple times.

He loves spending the mornings with you! On the early mornings when you decide to stay up after Fajr (which is often) he takes over from Marc to stay up with you. You’re sitting on the couch reading through your daily pages of the Qur’an, while he’s sitting at his cluttered desk, bent over a new book with highlighters and pens scribbling in the book margins.

It’s peaceful and calming and you can’t help the way your heart squeezes every time you look up and glance at him. You felt incredibly blessed to be able to spend such an important holiday with such kind-hearted souls. It made it feel like the world was smiling down on you. When you got tired and started feeling your eyes drooping shut, you heard Steven shuffle over, gently tucking your copy of the Qur’an out of your hands and onto the table, carefully scooping you up and carrying you to bed. It became a routine. You’d wake up for Suhoor and have a quick meal- and like clockwork as soon as you finish Fajr prayer, Steven comes shuffling out of the room, tugging on a fluffy sweater with a little yawn. He grabbed a cup of water, gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, before settling at his desk. There was barely any talking, it was just a comfortable silence. He’d interrupt with the occasional question, or maybe a little fun fact- “Did you know ancient Egyptians didn’t use the wheel until the Old Kingdom?” You hummed, looking up from your reading. “Really? Makes sense. Stones were too heavy for wood anyway,”

He’d nod, smile, then turn back to reading. Other than that, there were no interruptions. He liked it, especially when you felt good enough to do your Quran reading out loud. It made him happy, listening to you read in your mother tongue- and while he was never a religious person, it filled him with a weird feeling. He didn’t understand a word of it, but it reminded him of poetry- not something he could entirely understand or relate to, but still beautiful. Especially beautiful when you have enough courage to explain what you understand from different parts. It was a form of intimacy to share such sacred and important things with one another- it was a level of trust you both valued beyond anything else.

He decided this was his favourite time of the day then, and he thrived in the gentle atmosphere of the month- how could he not like spending lazy mornings with you for so long? If he could, he’d never work again, he’d simply stay home and spend forever with you. While that isn’t possible in this reality, he’s more than happy to have this month as a forever.

Marc Spector:

Marc was very different from Steven. He was not the kind to research every small aspect, or to encourage you to give him a long lecture about your culture. He was more of a silent lover who showed his lover through small, quiet gestures. He wakes you up every night for Suhoor, leaving a small meal for you in the fridge because he knows Steven would forget. You realised after the first few days, your prayer mat and abaya had gone missing and you had asked him about it, he said he had moved them somewhere quieter. When you had found them, you felt your heart ache so deeply you thought you were dying. He had moved it all to a small corner of the living room, clutter moved out and thoroughly cleaned, with little lanterns and a small plant there. The prayer mat was laid out, along with your Quran and it smells faintly of musk. You thought you might die right then and there as you processed the fact that he had put together a small prayer corner for you. When you’d try to ask him about it, he’d simply shrug, muttering about how “it’s not that big of a deal honey, just glad you liked it.” He doesn’t get that it is a big deal.

It took a little longer for you to realise that Marc had stopped going out for his…nightly activities. At first, you thought that maybe there just weren’t any new missions, but after a while you knew that something was up because now, he’s staying at home every night. Right after you had Iftar and cleaned up with Jake, Marc would take over, arguing to set up a movie and spend the night cuddling on the couch. When you brought it up, he acted like it was a normal thing. “You said this was a month to get rid of bad things like sex right? Well, sex has been removed from the equation, but violence is still a bad thing,” He shrugged. “Didn’t wanna ruin your time with all the blood on my hands,” You turned to face him properly, frowning. “You’re not ruining anything! Habibi, it’s your duty, isn’t it? Wouldn’t Khonshu get mad?” Marc hummed, tightening his arm around your waist. “Don’t care about him.” “Marc-” “Shhhh, enjoy the movie, baby. I’ve got it figured out, yeah? Besides, I like spending my nights with you, makes me happy that you want to spend this special time with me,” “Well obviously I do,” You leaned into him. “This means you’ll walk with me to Friday prayers now?” He chuckled. “Of course,”

You notice after that talk that he starts opening up a lot more. You noticed he’d ask about kosher food when you went out for Iftar on those off days. And you felt beyond proud and overjoyed when you saw him pulling out his kippah one day. He didn’t wear it, but you knew it was just the next step. Him considering it flooded you with joy- that maybe he’s healing a little every day and that it’s getting better slowly.

Marc was also very good at another important thing: Period comfort. Your period came as it always did, full speed ahead and a pain in the ass, but Marc is always always there at the ready, this time even more. He makes sure you’re super hydrated, there’s always a water bottle beside you at all times- he makes sure you take the painkillers the first day since it’s always the worst, and he gives the best massages. He’s even gone the extra mile to pull up hours long Quran videos on youtube so you can listen to them as you try to fall asleep.

He was a quiet, gentle lover who swept through like a soft breeze that caressed your cheek and left rain kisses on your face.

Jake Lockley:

Jake was a romantic, as much as he hated to admit it (and he really hated it). While he’s definitely not as planted in education as Steven is, he’s still incredibly touched when you ask him to help you make Iftar for the first time. In all honesty, he’s never really learnt much about religions and cultures, so it’s definitely new to him but he feels like he won a lottery every time you share a glimpse of your childhood with him, or your favourite traditions or religious stories. With everything he’s been through in life, he’s never really had much time to learn about other people but he’s definitely very happy to learn now, especially from you. One of his new, all time favourite pastimes is making meals in the kitchen with you. While you’re just two people for the evening, he constantly insists on making many different dishes each night. He’s always the one to go out grocery shopping, whether after a taxi shift or just randomly on an afternoon, he just whips out a list and goes on a whim. He adores spending afternoons with you trying out all sorts of different foods. While he’s not a master chef, he definitely has good talent, but it’s honestly not even the food that makes it fun, it’s just the domestic task being done with you. He can’t help but feel all sappy and emotional over it. It’s just really hard for him to believe that he’s spent so long hurting and alone but now he’s got all this love and care all coming from you- for him. He feels so overwhelmed in moments like these when he forgets that hurt, and he just feels so understood and loved.

As the days roll around, he starts spreading out more. He’s researching a dozen new recipes every day, a million Youtube tutorials and a notebook full of scribbles for different ideas to try with you. It becomes your thing then, like movie nights with Marc and early morning studying with Steven- cooking with Jake just fit in so easily. He’s cheesy, so much that he’d start dancing with you right there- while you may not be playing music in those days, he’s still humming along to your wedding song as he spins you around a few times, before picking you up and placing you on the counter, insisting that “my princesa shouldn’t have to cook after fasting all day. I’ve got hands, I can do it,” He makes use of every single moment you can get together but he also makes sure to give you your space and time to fulfil your tasks for the month.

One of the harder things for Jake was definitely putting a pause on the mercenary stuff. He’s not the kind to say no to Khonshu, and he takes a sort of…pride in his missions. It keeps him occupied on those nights and makes him feel useful, so when Marc said he wasn’t doing the missions for the month, Jake was definitely hesitant. He understood why, of course, and got why it’s important but he wasn’t sure how to just drop the job for so long. In the end though, he doesn’t regret it one small bit.

Best part about Jake though? Eid shopping. While Steven is definitely the one with a bit more appreciation for clothing, Jake is all in for style and spoiling his favourite girl. It’s the last few days of the month, and you’re just dragging one another from one store to the next. You try on at least a million different outfits before guys settle on something cute, simple and elegant. He’s also always always determined on buying you new hijabs EVERY TIME you go out, despite you already having many at home, he insists on getting new ones so you have “extras in case anything happens” (let’s be honest, he just likes spending money on you.) He will absolutely NOT let you pay for your Eid clothes, it’s happened more than once where you’ll just be struggling against each other only for him to be the one to reach out and tap his card and pay. He gets all smug and happy about it while you just grumble but in the end he makes up for it, always, with ice cream.

He’s very damn insistent on goody bags too. While you guys don’t have kids, Jake absolutely goes insane every time he sees the little kids at mosques. He’s very sure to buy at a loooot of chocolate and candy boxes and spends those last few nights with you after Iftar on the living room floor, bags sprawled out everywhere and a bad sitcom in the background as you fill up a hefty amount of bags to hand out. The kids adore him, because he’s funny and sweet and let’s them mess around with him, and the kids have just taken to following you outside after Eid prayers because they know Jake’s going to be outside, leaning against his car and waiting for you to come.

You always come back to him of course, whether exhausted after work or thrilled after a beautiful morning at the mosque, you always come back, as he always comes back to you too.

Nothing’s keeping him away from his girl, and the wide smile on your face throughout the day as you go out to celebrate? He can’t help but feel like he’s the luckiest man alive.

Thanks for reading <3 Please reblog if you've made it this far and enjoyed! Tags for you cuties: @whatthefishh @winterbiipp @looneytooz @twwcs @ahookedheroespureheart

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #marc spector x f!muslim!reader #steven grant x f!muslim! reader #jake lockley x f!muslim!reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon knight fluff #moon knight imagine

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bepop-moon · 3 months

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!!SPOILERS!!

The Fourth Wing review !!!

WHAT. I just finished the fourth wing like 5 minutes ago and i NEED to talk about it before i go to the store and buy the second book.

- I am an ultimate book-lover and it takes a lot for me to dislike a book so this is just gonna be filled the positive things that i loved

I’ll get nerding about the world-building out the way first

So for starters, this book was so well written. As a fantasy lover, i’m a sucker for a well-built fantasy world. I loved how without being too heavy on description Rebecca managed to describe the world beautifully and naturally. I love how developed the history and culture is, the religion and beliefs and values.

I love Rebecca’s take on dragons. The idea of bonding and the mental communication and emotional connection. I don’t know how original it is but it was so well-done in this story. The design of the dragons and the different species are not overcomplicated and the way she wrote it made it easy to understand. I love the descriptions of the dragons, but also (this is just my opinion) i love that Rebecca didn’t shy away from the sheer size of the dragons. Ik in fantasy there are no rules about species like this, but in all folklore and mythology dragons are like, huge, and not enough books show that.

Overall, the world building is 10/10 and perfectly woven into the story.

Things that had my jaw on the floor

Something that had me ✨flabbergasted ✨ was the small details Rebecca snuck in there unnoticed. Now i was kicking myself when it came to Violet finally finding out her signet was lightning and Xaden tells her he suspected it from the first time they kissed. I went back and realised that in that scene lightning was striking. I usually pick up on these things 😭😭

Another example is- and this one hurt me physically because i realised like the paragraph before they said it- all the times dain “caressed her cheek” or “cupped her face” the actual vulgar little maggot (i hate him). I hate that they didn’t finish him off in this book and i so hope that Xaden or Violet ends him when they get back. if not i will.

Also, the ENDING??!! THE LAST FEW LINES??!! HELLO?!?!? I did call it though as soon as she woke up and Xaden looked at her wound and it was all healed up, i was like woah hang on i thought this was the venins poison. But I WASNT EXPECTING TO MEET HIM. I do want to just say that it really ticked me off because i don’t believe Xaden knew Brennan was alive but didn’t tell violet. I want to think he found out when he got there but i think he mentioned knowing this was the place to come or something. They must have a bloody good reason to be keeping this one ☝️

The characters 🥺🥺🥺

i was in love with EVERY single one of the characters. I love how every character was focussed on at one point or another so you could connect with all of them. I love the entire groups chemistry. I think an easier way to explain would be to go through them individually:

VIOLET- So, i made a post when i was in the early chapters of this book about how she annoyed me. She was very much a stereotypical “aren’t i just💁‍♀️…too small and weak🥺to play rugby👉👈” kind of girl, and i could see myself disliking the book if it kept up. I also said i can see how, if done correctly, she could have the BEST character development and gods, it didn’t disappoint. Rebecca showed Violet growing mentally and physically in a really real and natural way. It was forced, rushed or skimmed over. It was really a big part of the whole story, and i really loved it. Violet is my short, feisty girlboss and she’s litterally my idol. I volunteer as tribute guys, i will join the riders quadrant to be with her 😔😔. Dw, I can replace Liam. I love her sarcasm. She’s litterally me if i had confidence. Her chemistry with everyone else is on point.

RHIANNON- So dispite the fact that I was pronouncing her name wrong for a good chunk of the book, THIS GURL IS ONE OF MY FAVS. Everyone needs a friend like Rhi, period. She’s also a bisexual queen (** i will lead into this later) which makes me love her even more. Massive crush. She’s so badass.

RIDOC- okay now hes just a cutie patootie 🥰🥰 like “YES THATS OUR GIRL” when Vi beat the gauntlet had my heart melting. I want one. i want a ridoc. He’s my under appreciated baby.

THE OG GANG (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc, Sawyer)- I honestly wish they had more time. I could never get enough of them. The chemistry 😭 get me a friend group like this.

LIAM- i cried. no sorry i balled. like omg why was taking him like that necessary 😭😭 But i did know he was gonna die cuz i remember when he gave vi the wooden tairn he made, i said to myself “uh oh he’s too nice he’s not gonna live”. The emotional attachment i had to this man. But besides that, the whole backstory of him and Xaden being his foster-brother and the two of them having gone through so much together was soo good. I’m so glad Xaden was given a character to fall back on, and in a sad way, i’m glad that his loss was what made him break in the end. He stayed so strong for both Violet and Xaden. He’s so loyal and sweet, there is nothing not to love about him. RIP 🩷🩷🩷

XADEN- Where do i even start with this man. just love. love love love love ❤️ Ngl, i didn’t like his description and his initial impression looks-wise which (silly me with my high fictional person standards) put me off him for the first part. But- i made a post about this aswell- i think that’s just me personally not liking big, tall, dark, hunky men. I couldn’t picture him correctly. That is until i went onto pinterest and started picturing a slightly more buff Zayn Malik with fluffy hair and reading-glasses that i liked the sound of him a lot more. OkOk besides looks, I think Xaden is my favourite character. He was so compassionate to Violet as they got closer, and just every small thing he did i loved. I mostly loved how gift-giving is his love language. Okay let’s list off the things Xaden gave: The dagger, the saddle, flowers, dick, coffee, head, his jacket, more daggers. lol anyway he had it made just for her 😭😭 So i love how we got to see him and his high defences all come crumbling down at the end. He knew he messed up when he kept secrets, and the way he was like “i will try every day for the rest of my life to make you trust me again”. The battle- Liams loss and thinking he lost Violet must’ve affected him so much i just wanna give him a big hug. AND HIS CHAPTER AT THE END 😭 i squealed when i saw it was his perspective. i want more of that ngl. When he said he felt unloved since his father died. He’s a little bundle of trauma and i love him for that. Angst aside, the pet name, the banter, the mind talking thing THE CHEMISTRY AHHHH. Best boy.

The Family trio (Liam, Xaden, Bodhi)- their connection was so cute and refreshing. It was so nice to see Xaden have people he can rely on other than Vi, and they are so iconic. I wish they got more time. I also wanted to see more of Bodhi and how he dealt with Liam’s loss. It was all very Xaden-heavy. Let’s not forget about him 🥺

The cool bois 😎 (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi)- Honestly, i bet they act like young teenagers. I like to imagine them getting extremely competitive over a card game like dobble or smt and flipping the table. The way Garrick and Bodhi both always had Xaden’s back, keeping his secrets, knowing his history, which he doesn’t tell many people. They also quietly had Violets back too, when they cleaned up her room after her attack in the night, and then hauled in a new armoire after their.. evening together. They are also funny and Garrick and Bodhi are so quick to defend Xaden in a rlly wholesome way.

Sex 🫢

Okay so this is a fun one 🤩 First i’ll talk about sexuality in this book and the representation. Although this is just a small detail my queer ass naturally picks up on, is how i love that sexuality isn’t an explicitly identified thing in this world, it just is what it is. You sleep with who you sleep with, you love who you love. It’s not a labelled thing. Rhiannon slept with tara- normal. Then she slept with Sawyer- normal. Ridoc slept with some older guy idk- normal. Ridoc then made jokes about sleeping with violet. normal. It’s just so natural and normalised and i like that she didn’t read too deep into it. that’s all. And also the Non-binary (again not labelled) rep with i think their name was Heaton? idk but i like never see they/thems in books so it was kinda nice. I think it’s a nice thing about creating a fantasy world, you can litterally portray things like this however you want, because it’s your fictional society, and you can give them whatever norms and values you want.

Ok smut 🫣. The book had good smut, a dedicated smut chapter, and a lot of steamy moments after that. But i won’t lie to you, the main smut scene was giving edward cullen destroying the bed 😥 like ngl i was scared- and then the lightning?!? girl- anyway it was wild. I like how Xaden was openly humble, reluctant to go any further in fear of “taking advantage of her after a shit day”, He cares so much 🥺❤️. The consent was a nice part. And then another thing, that kind of relates to what i was saying about the perks of being able to create the norms of a fictional society, is how they both mentioned they were on fertility surpressants. Both of them, not just her. I liked that small detail. OTHERWISE I WAS LITTERALLY SCARED FOR HER LIFE ON THAT SCENE😭😭

My only complaint about this in particular, some might disagree is that as much as i like smut in a book, i prefer it a lot more when it’s evenly split with fluff and wholesome cuddles and forehead kisses and stuff. It was just a very sexual-heavy relationship. Although, it’s understandable considering they ARENT ACTUALLY DATING !!!

Just some other things i liked:

- Tairn and Andarna 🥺 They are so cute just eeee!!

- Golden one and silver one

- “violence”

- Jesinia, using sign. love 👏the👏inclusivity👏

- The way the storyline all came together at the end. It’s just the best feeling when you read a book and you’re getting the ending and you can see all the small details tying together perfectly, and Rebecca did SUCH a good job at that

- I love the note at the beginning saying “the following text has been translated..” because it adds such a cool small layer of depth to the whole story

- How Rebecca showed violets trauma. She couldn’t bring herself to show weakness in front of others so she runs away to somewhere where she knows she can be alone to cry. How everything comes crumbling down on her when she sees mira again. How she panics when someone she loves is at risk. How she has flashbacks when she killed Barlowe. Beautiful 😍

- Jack’s death being her discovery of her signet and a big moment for her, how it was ruined by the fear and instant trauma of killing him (lol he had it coming)

Complaints !!

I don’t think i have many complaints about this book at all, only that all the guys look the same with different hair colours 😭 i said earlier about how i don’t like the stereotypical buff protective guy and that’s what im imagining them all as. More male diversity. Obvs i mentioned the lack of fluff. Probably could’ve done with more angst.

also dain was the biggest ick from the start

The next book???

I CANT WAIT!! i’ll probably stop by and buy it tomorrow. There are a few things i’m interested in:

-Brennan 🧍‍♂️

-Xadenviolet fixing itself

-Torturing Dain 😍

-The REBELLION!! hunger games who? violet everdeen who?

something i do hope is that it continues right where it left off, because istg if rebecca decides to do something clever and introduce a whole new set of characters and not even MENTION my babies until like the end of the book i will come to her house and scrap her (a formal threat). I hope it will be just as good as the first one!! it was very quick to be released but i bet she has a trilogy or series or something lined up she will be popping out soon. I don’t see Iron Flame being the last book of the series.

Conclusion 🤩🤩💃🕺

10/10 would recommend to young-adult readers!! It just had the perfect blend of, fantasy world, storyline, romance, plot twists and action that a story could have. Will give me so much daydreaming material to work with. Very inspiring for my own fantasy world aswell !! lots of small details to take inspo from and a very cool world to explore. The whole Xadenviolet arc from start to not-so-finish is annoyingly touching and Dain is just annoying!! (i hate him)

If you got this far thanks for reading :) xx

#book review #the fourth wing #xadenviolet #violet and xaden #fantasy #fantasy books #dragons #tfw #rebecca yarros #iron flame

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recherchestetique · 4 months

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Ayumi Shibata n.b.d

Japan

‘Forest of Harmony’ (section of installation) 2021

Handmade paper cut-out

Ayumi Shibata designs intricate landscapes using layers upon layers of white paper. Some of her sculptures are miniature, whereas others are immersive installations, and all are brought to life with the play of light and shadow, which create “movement” throughout her pieces. The works feature architectural domes, cave-like forests, and swirling suns hovering over tree-filled cities. These picturesque places aren’t based on a particular location but what the artist “hopes and believes the future of the planet could look like”.

Shibata’s ethereal landscapes envision a world in which humans and natural forms coexist, and she describes her pieces as having a “Yin and Yang” element. Paper represents Yin, the material, and the ways the works emit shadows correlates to Yang, the invisible world. “The light represents spirit and life, how the sun rises and breathes life into the world,” she explains. “I believe my pieces are a place to observe the material world and the visible one.”

The physical elements have a deeper meaning for the artist, as well: In Japanese, Kami means god or spirit but also paper, a sacred material in the Shinto religion. “Invisible ‘Kami’ spirits dwell in various objects and events, places, as well as in our houses and in our bodies,” she says. “I use my technique to express my thankfulness to the Kami spirits for having been born in this life. Each piece of paper I cut is a prayer.”

Education: 2012-15 -National Academy School of Fine Arts, NY, USA. Art Residency: 2015-17 -59 Rivoli, Paris, France

#Ayumi Shibata #paper art #japan #lace #art

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thesereveries · 10 months

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Nymphomanic (2013), Lars von Trier

This film has a special place in my heart, which makes it difficult to talk about. That the film is filled with pornographic scenes and is highly controversial makes it even more difficult to talk about. But this film's impact upon me is so unusual that I will nevertheless give a go at writing about it.

I've watched it three or four times at this point. Upon my first viewing, I was so disturbed by the pornography that I skipped portions of it, and barely attended to the film itself. I nevertheless felt a striking kinship with the film, that it spoke about the secrets of my life; this bewildered me, since there are no culturally legible addictions, let alone a sex addition, that I can see in my life. Why this kinship then?

Only upon the second viewing did I become desensitized to the pornographic aspect of the film, so that I could attend to its narrative and aesthetic details. Here are the ways it moved me. In the plot, we follow Joe from her childhood to adulthood, which she recounts in a frame story; she has been found bruised and bloodied in the street by an elderly man, Seligman, who takes her to his home and nurses her back to health. Seligman is shocked by her state and is keen to hear about her life; and it seems that she is just as keen to disclose it. She has never talked to anyone about her life narrative before, and her life is full of guilt and pain.

This frame story thus is suggestive of the archetypal situation of confession, where someone who is guilty speaks to someone whom is open, non-judgmental, and good. We quickly learn that Seligman is a bachelor, lives a quiet life, and finds pleasure in pursuits of the intellect and arts, which ticks off the boxes for filling the "priest"-like role. We can imagine that Joe has been in despair regarding the chaos and sin of her life, and she hopes that Seligman may give her life meaning, or certainty, either of her redemption or ultimate condemnation, by virtue of his act of hearing her life story—we audience members of the film are also in Seligman's position. Joe places her life before us, as much as she does before Seligman.

Seligman is a good candidate for this role. Unexperienced in sexual affairs, he lacks experience that would make him prone to evaluating Joe's life in light of cultural narratives and norms regarding sex. Instead, he can evaluate her life on the basis of her pure intentions and ways of being, stripped from the surface layer of the detail of being a sex addict. This gives us an inlet into seeing her life from Seligman's perspective, or from what we might imagine his perspective to consist in.

The power of confessing to such an "unbiased" listener is immense. At various points throughout the film, Joe is astounded when Seligman doesn't condemn her, after she shares a particularly atrocious deed she's committed. She furiously self-condemns, to only elicit a wholly other sort of response from Seligman. He insists that she is not to be blamed. Even more, some sexual, inhumane, or cruel act of hers may be mapped onto features of some work in religion, art, or intellectual achievements of human history. For example, when Joe speaks of the clothing she wore as a teenager to lure men into having sex with her, Seligman connects this up with the technique of "nymphing" in fly fishing, which he explains is a special art that humans have perfected, and which allows us to be immersed in the beauty of nature. When Joe recounts her first orgasm as a child, Seligman connects this to a religious scene from the Bible. When Joe speaks of three men that she especially enjoyed having sex with during a period of her adult life, and describes the differences between their ways of approaching her, Seligman maps this onto the three "voices" found in his favorite of Bach's fugues, which he believes is the achievement of perfection in polyphony music.

Sometimes these connections are downright hilarious; they are purposefully over-the-top, and reflect both Seligman's naivete and the absurdity of the narrative. But these connections always have an edge of sincerity, and push us over to wonder: What is the relationship between forms of bodily or sexual pleasure and aesthetic pleasure, had towards the arts and intellectual pursuits? The film does not force upon us an answer as crass as that this is a matter of sublimation (as a Freudian perspective would have it.) Rather, the film leaves the question open. It made me think that bodily and sexual pleasures may be experienced in ways that elevate them to the position of high, aesthetic pleasure. Joe's reckless pursuit of sexual pleasure may also be understood as her overflowing with openness and desire for life—some of the most intense and profound experiences of life are found in sexual encounters, and sex is literally the origin of life. Intellectual and artistic pursuits are likewise manifestations of openness and desire for life; scholars submit themselves to nature, to understand it, and artists devote themselves to examining human life, to reveal new meanings within it.

This also can get us to think, more broadly, about the power of our being beheld by another person. Others can see new aspects of our pasts, making new meanings of our lives. When we are perceived by them, their insight transforms our lives, like how artists may renew old materials. This possibility, of renewal or redemption, is found in interpersonal experiences (whose epitome is confession, but also has many everyday varieties) as much as it is found in the practice of making artwork and engaging with it. Just as Seligman provides a way for Joe to transform her life, our viewing of this film provides a way for us to transform our lives.

There's another theme I'd like to think through: the meaning of addiction. Joe may be seen as a slave to her thirst for sexual pleasure. This thirst is so tremendous that, against her will, she forgoes all other responsibilities and pursuits that are necessary for having a fulfilling life. She cannot maintain friendships, or any relationship founded on recognition and concern for that matter, because of this addiction. With men, she is always on the lookout for sexual opportunities, so she can't see them as individuals, which is a precondition for friendship. Women are fearful and envious of her, given her sexual power, so she can't make friends with women either. The outcome is that Joe is socially isolated. She cannot escape her loneliness. Perhaps this makes her all the more addicted to sex, as a temporary or illusory escape; it is a vicious cycle.

The film shows how addiction, generally, can lead to such social isolation. It is not that Joe desires to abuse people; this is a consequence of her addiction. But this doesn't mean that she's not responsible for her wrongdoings. Her life turns out horribly; the film leaves us in a murky state, where we both feel sorrowful for her, but also think that she deserves the awful turns of events in her life, since these are only predictable consequences, given her choices.

To bring up the thread of the earlier thought: Seligman's listening to Joe's life opens forth a new meaning to her addiction. She's not just a prisoner of her body. She may be seen as an agent who endorses the sexual desires of her body, and actively satisfies these. From this angle, Joe is very powerful. Many men and women are under her thumb. But there is no way to work around the tragedy of her loneliness. Regardless of whether Joe is seen as powerfully embodied or as a prisoner of her body, she is incredibly lonely. There is no other way of seeing this loneliness; it is intrinsically horrible. So the film has an interesting evaluation of addiction. Our ethical relations to each other matters most; the highest value in life is love and care. An addiction or perversion is bad only insofar as it incapacitates us from love.

I will not spoil the ending, but the event there is likewise highly ambiguous in meaning; Joe may be seen as immensely powerful, or a desolate, pathetic victim. Another issue that is too complicated for me to dive into here: the relationship between gender and sex. There's a lot to think about, regarding how the fact that Joe is a woman has both constrained her life and made possible certain aspects of her life. How would her life have turned out, if she were a man? Is it possible for people categorized as women, and those categorized as men, to experience nymphomania in the same way? What are the implications of the fact that nymphomania is particularly gendered, as compared to other addictions?

This film is incredibly beautiful in its composition and colors, in portraying nature, sunlight, people, and life. The aesthetic pleasure from this beauty is mixed in with the uneasy bodily pleasure we viewers might feel, from the pornography of the film. Undergoing this, as viewers of the film, is interesting; this personal experience mirrors the theme of the film, of questioning the relationship between high art or intellectual pursuits, on the one hand, and sexual pursuits, on the other. Not only may this elevate our embodied lives, by having us see it as art, but this also bites at high art. What is the value of art? Not all of it is sincere and good, to say the least. While many people think that this film is neither sincere nor good, I do, however, and would encourage skeptics to try engaging with it.

It is all too common to respond to guilt and shame regarding bodily and sexual pleasures by saying that we should own it and be proud of it. Moreover, merely saying and thinking something is different from having one's life be changed according to what one thinks. This film provides a more nuanced path forward. There are many ways one can go about relating to bodily and sexual pleasures; some can be unethical or unthinking, and others, which relate it to artwork and intellectual work, can be more interesting or ethical. Moreover, this film doesn't merely give us these ideas to think about. Art in general gives us embodied experiences, of the imagined realms represented; undergoing these experiences is more powerful than merely thinking about ideas.

#lars von trier #nymphomaniac

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therealvinelle · 2 years

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Scrapped fic

What is tumblr for if not publishing outtakes, deleted scenes, and the occasional scrapped fic?

In other words, last month I was writing my entry for the Rank Heresy writing competition and having the absolute worst time. I had no idea what to write. I decided somewhat unenthusiastically on a oneshot with Zafrina and Carlisle testing out her gift, but I didn't get more than a few hundred words in before @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin dared me to write something truly awful. I could not resist and as such, a fic was scrapped.

I was cleaning out my drafts when I realized people might appreciate the slice of fic that did get written, so here you guys go.

«You sure about this, Carlisle?» Zafrina asked one last time.

Carlisle only smiled brightly back at her, as he was wont to do. «Sure and ready,» he chirped.

She couldn’t help shaking her head at him.

The golden-eyed blond was charming, there was no denying that. Of all the vampires Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri had run into over the years, he was easily one of their favorites. He was easy-going, good-natured, and had been delighted to learn their language, and teach them his in turn. The months he’d spent with them since they first stumbled upon him feeding on a llama had been great fun.

It didn’t hurt to be accompanied by a strong-looking male, either, as stragglers did sometimes pass through the area. Even if on the one occasion that a straggler had come along, Carlisle had earnestly tried to make small talk and form a new bond of friendship rather than look intimidating.

Of course, with Zafrina’s gift they could take care of themselves, but- she preferred not to give away the ace up her sleeve to strangers unless she had to.

Carlisle had his odd little vices, his refusal to drink human blood and insistence upon butchering wildlife even when it made him so very weak was not something Zafrina thought they could have tolerated in just any guest, but he was so earnest about it that they did not have it in themselves to condemn him for it.

Yes, Carlisle was earnest.

He was clever, too.

The moment Zafrina had confided in him her gift, he had lit up and professed his admiration for her extraordinary talent. He had gushed about it the entire day, peppering her with questions, remembering himself and asking if she wanted him to back off, only to vibrate with unasked questions. She’d regretted telling him, at first.

Still, she had answered his questions, sometimes demonstrated her talent when words couldn’t quite cover her talent.

Carlisle had been just as thrilled every time.

Then a contemplative glint had appeared in his eyes.

«Have you tested the boundaries of your gift?» he’d asked her.

Zafrina had asked him what he meant.

«Well- you said, that if you concentrate on me and think to yourself, ‘tree’, then I’ll see a tree. And you don’t visualize it more specifically than that, you’re just imparting the recipe, so to say, of what it is I’m going to see. What I’m wondering, is- who fills in the blanks?»

Zafrina had tilted her head at him. «My gift does.»

«Yes,» Carlisle had agreed with a gesture, «but how? Does your mind fill in the blanks, so that I’m seeing what your subconsciousness associates with ‘tree’, or do you let my mind do it? Or is it the gift that somehow- pulls on the Platonic idea of a tree?»

Then he’d hurried to explain to her that a wise man came up with the concept of immaculate versions of every material thing, an immaterial ideal that the reality can resemble but never look up to, and the Western humans had based their religion on that.

She’d shown him a tree.

Carlisle had pulled his lips together as he’d concentrated on that tree. «It’s- such a tree,» he’d said after a long pause.

«Yes,» Zafrina had agreed, biting back amusement.

Kachiri and Senna, who had come to watch, had looked amused as well.

«No, no, I mean- I can’t tell if I’m looking at a tree that is my own idea of a tree, or someone else’s. The more I look at it- no, I don’t think this is the way to test it,» Carlisle said, looking very bothered. «I can’t observe when I’m inside the hallucination, not when the point of your gift is playing a trick on my mind. But Senna and Kachiri can’t very well observe me hallucinating either, not without sharing in it- oh, this is frustrating.»

Zafrina had laughed at him, and clapped him on the shoulder. «I’ve given you something to trouble yourself with, haven’t I.»

Carlisle had looked miffed, like a child denied fruit.

«We were wanting to play a game when you two were done,» Kachiri had called out, and held up a leather ball.

(They played a lot of games when Carlisle visited: being even in numbers was rare, and they took full advantage.)

«You may choose which one,» she’d continued, twirling the ball on one finger and passing it to Senna with a broad smile.

Carlisle had agreed readily, but before they could leave to find the open field they used for such pastimes, he’d given Zafrina a concerned look.

«I hope my interest isn’t imposing on you,» he’d told her quietly. «Truly, if you are only humoring me, you must let me know.»

«You would be disappointed,» Zafrina pointed out.

«You could cheer me up again by sharing a meal with me,» Carlisle had replied without missing a bit.

Zafrina had stopped walking, and given the shrubbery ahead an unimpressed glare.

«It was worth a shot,» Carlisle had said airily.

Then he’d sobered. «Don’t concern yourself with me, Zafrina, truly I mean it. If my questions bother you, tell me so and I’ll stop.»

Zafrina had looked at him. «I won’t deny you’ve been asking a great many questions over the past few days.»

Carlisle had cringed. «Duly noted,» he’d said. «I apologize for getting ahead of myself, then.»

Zafrina supposed that could have been it.

She hadn’t been lying, Carlisle was- well, he was earnest. Sometimes too much so.

However, he was clever.

And he was quite unique in that she felt she could trust him.

#carlisle cullen #zafrina #carlisle & zafrina #my fic #twilight fic #twilight renaissance

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wizfurb · 2 years

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BBC Ghosts 04x04 - Robin’s “William”

Note: Idk if the show has any plans on expanding on some of the past ghosts, but I thought it’d be fun to make up an OC based on one of Robin’s friends he mentions in 04x04. I’m going off the assumption he was just listing them randomly rather than in chronological order necessarily <3 This isn’t like a proper fic (though I may write one someday) but it does run a bit long, buckle in folks :3

Words: 1.5k not a proper fic my ass how did i end up writing this much

Intro:

William was a Victorian hobbyist palaeontologist/archaeologist who died in 1860 when he was around 30. Darwin’s On The Origins of Species had just come out the year before. And a few years earlier, previously uncategorised fossils had just been formally declared as belonging to another species of human altogether-- Neanderthals.

William was deeply fascinated by the past. However, because he was raised as a woman in his youth (and a common one at that) he had little formal education in the way of science. Once he set out on his own, under a new/correct identity, he learned everything he could from books, seminars he could sneak into, writing to others in the field and self-funded excavation (nevermind that he had never actually found anything, yet).

How he died:

Suffice to say, like much of the scientific world, he became obsessed with the concepts of evolution and ancient hominids. So when he heard a rumor that strange bones had been unearthed at some country estate not too far from him he had to investigate. He begged the owners of Button House for the chance to excavate some of the land. Despite the handsome payment offered, they firmly refused, objecting that they wanted no part in this heathen practise.

But William was determined. He set up camp at the edge of the woods so as to not be seen and began his excavation in secret. Soon he had dug a pit as deep as he was tall, but had little definitive findings to show for it. One day, as he was emerging from the pit after a long dig a loud CRACK filled the air, and his shoulder throbbed. Ironically, the bullet wound probably wouldn’t have killed him, but the fall back into the pit did—his head hitting the ground at just the wrong angle. The perpetrators—hunters who mistook him for an animal, residents finally taking care of the intruder, he did not know— left him where he died, filling in the pit and absolving themselves. The irony of a fossil hunter being buried was not lost on him.

The in between:

During his afterlife, William had a hard time determining if he was in Heaven or Hell. After the initial freak out about death and the existence of ghosts, William was naturally ecstatic to meet Robin. But he despaired the fact that he couldn't record any of his findings, or prove himself share them with the scientific community

Still, he takes to interviewing Robin constantly, asking about his life when he was alive, and the developments he saw in death (he had to hold back from overtly examining Robin’s features/body, that would hardly be polite). Robin is initially kind of wary of him. After all it isn't often people sought him out for deep discussions, and William asked so much, Robin “have other things to do you know” (he didn’t, but everyone needs me time, so they find a balance).

He talks a bit about himself too. How he feels about his field, not caring to hide just how much passion he has. He firmly believes in the cause, the value of learning about past peoples and in turn learning about ourselves. He thinks it’s ridiculous that so many people regard evolution and hominid study as a heathen craft, doesn’t understand why religion and science can’t co-exist.

(Robin doesn’t understand it either but he doesn’t understand a lot of what William says anyway. He talks very quickly and uses big science words. But he comes to like the way he says them, and especially likes that he takes the time to explain).

William asks Robin if his people had any such beliefs, stories to make sense of how the world works. Robin tells him about the moon, of course. He tells him about all the legends he watched his friends immortalise on cave walls. He tells him of the camp fires in the sky, the animal spirits that live inside your chest and thump against your rib cage when you’re scared or excited. William concludes that he doesn’t mind being in purgatory, he’d gladly listen to Robin forever. And not just to study. For all he knows now, William must be the greatest scientist in his field. But more than that he just likes being with Robin. He’s very funny, very intelligent, he doesn’t have the words to communicate it, but he understands more about humanity than scientists ever will. William had lived a solitary life, no friends, just passing colleagues that didn’t even value his work or him half the time. In death he found a kindred spirit.

Nonetheless, William never stops being fascinated with the idea of finding Robin’s bones. When he asks Robin about it, Robin claims “Nothing to find. Animals come eat me. Bear, wolf, bird— I very popular. So popular even family scared to come get me. Till one day I come back and nothing left”.

William is fascinated to learn Robin’s people buried their dead. He will not give up on the hope that Robin’s bones—the very bones that brought William here in the first place—are out there somewhere. He asks Robin if his bones might have any identifying features, like a fracture that might have healed strangely or teeth marks from a bad animal attack. Robin puffs up proudly, says “Me good hunter! Never get hurt like that. Back then, you break bone you usually die, so”. William settles for examining Robin’s teeth, and only gets playfully bitten a few times.

How he got sucked off moved on:

They are friends for years and years and years. For the first time in his life—death— William feels valued as a person, and more fulfilled everyday as student of history. And, though he is confident in himself, Robin, too, appreciates that William values him as an equal, as a human, not some savage half-man. They explore the grounds together, talk about the animals they find, share stories, lay on the grass and stargaze. William teaches Robin about constellations, and Robin is enraptured. Something about seeing shapes, animals, in the sky, trying to make meaning of something so vast and unknowable, it’s familiar. It feels like a piece of home (and gives him an idea).

Like always, it’s sudden. The Button’s are having work done in the gardens again, to put in another fountain or some such, when they find him. The constabulary are called, his bones exhumed and taken away. William should probably be more horrified at seeing his own bones, but he’s mostly just annoyed he can’t interact with his now unearthed notebook. The workers suggest a more thorough search of the area, lest they come across any more surprises and have to halt their work again. And that’s how it happens.

Meer metres from William’s digsite all those years ago is another, smaller concentration of bones. Some are animal, and some are most definitely not. A worker uses a gloved hand to pick up a very human jaw fragment, the molars a little too big and round and— “Robin!” William shouts. He circles the worker, taking in the teeth at all angles before turning back to his friend, positively shaking with excitement.

William grips Robin’s jaw (and while Robin makes a surprised grunt, he and William clearly have no hang ups about touch/personal space anymore), quickly but gently prying it open to get a better look. There! The second molar with a large brown crack down the middle, and the chipped canine! Keeping a hand on that familiar jaw, William’s voice is somehow soft and filled with fervour when he says “Robin that’s you. They found you!” and realises “...I almost found you”.

Robin furrows his heavy brows and looks at the jaw, “Me?”.

William is smiling so hard, his jaw would probably hurt, were he alive. “Yes, you! And look at these-” he points to the pit “-these stone bits! They’re not natural. Someone did bury you, you must have just missed it”. Robin laughs, laughs so hard it catches and brings them both to their knees looking into that godforsaken pit. To think, one of the biggest questions of his afterlife answered, thousands of years later, by some fancy man obsessed with bones.

Robin pokes William in the chest, where the animal spirits live, and says with a rough fondness “You. You found me”. William’s eyes are as wide and bright as the full moon, and before Robin fully realises what is happening, that brightness encompasses William’s whole body, till all that remains of William is his tattered journal still covered in dirt at the bottom of the pit.

William’s death was the adventure of his life. But for Robin those—what? 30 odd years? were a blink of an eye. He stares at where the light disappears. He almost sighs, but huffs out another laugh instead, and heads inside to tell the others.

Later, when the moon is high and thousands of little campfires sparkle in the sky, Robin picks out a star. And later, much later, 132ish years later, he points at the star and remembers.

#BBC Ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #robin the caveman #bbc ghosts oc #robin bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts robin #i rly said this wasnt a proper fic and wrote all That huh #mine #txt #was this cringe of me #can you tell i ran out of steam at the end. sorry. its late #ideally I would like to flesh this out into something longer and put it on ao3 but these are the basics #but also 👀👀👀👀 if anyone is inspired 👀👀👀👀👀

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