#it may just be me overthinking things but a little voice inside me said you might ask because of me just not being active | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nayeonie99 · 3 months

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Momo x Nayeon / So, what are we?

"Look, you and I need to talk". Momo said to her roommate and best friend Nayeon, before she sat down next to her on the couch.

Nayeon was watching one of her K-Dramas, but she instantly paused it to look at Momo, probably because she could tell by the sound of Momo's voice, that she was being serious about this.

"About what?". Nayeon asked and looked at Momo with her adorable brown eyes. Momo let out a sigh and licked her lips, a nervous habit of hers.

"About us". She said and Nayeon tilted her head slightly, a thing she does when she is confused about something.

"Have you not even-". Momo let out an annoyed sigh and rubbed her temple.

"Just shut up and let me speak alright?".

"I didn't even say an-". Nayeon was about to say, but when Momo glared at her she instantly shut up.

"Surely, I'm not the only one who noticed the tension between the two of us. Not bad tension, it's just...tension, and you could cut it with a knife. All of those times we're watching shit together or us cooking up dinner together. You can't detect even the lightest from that?". Momo asked and bit her lip.

Nayeon didn't say anything, so Momo continued.

"What about those times either of us need to go to work or fucking go to bed and there's some big dramatic act whenever that happens. As well as those hour-long conversations into the night when we both have to go to sleep early, the fucking cheesy nicknames, one of us can barely go out to casually shop without the other wanting to join". Momo said and realised she was raising her voice slightly.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm herself down.

"What are we ?". She asked desperately and Nayeon just stared at her with opened mouth.

"We are roommates".

"Yeah no shit we are roommates".

"And friends". Nayeon said.

"And frie- look, we don't need to state the obvious, there's something obviously going on between the two of us. We are constantly playing chicken with each other's boundaries and it's gotten to the point where I can't help but just constantly overthink it and it's basically occupying my thoughts all the time now, so I gotta just fucking swallow my fears and get us to talk and ask you just what the fuck are we?". Momo asked and Nayeon still kept quiet.

"Not even you can answer huh? Look, you know I sure ain't fucking straight. You don't think I'm not going to overanalyse things after a certain point ? There's things that girl friends do and there's things that girlfriends do and I honestly cannot tell where we fucking fall within the limbo and just I want to- need to know, so I could just get the shit sorted in my head".

"Are you mad at me?". Nayeon asked.

"No I'm not mad at you at all". Momo let out a frustrated sigh and combed her fingers through her hair.

"If anything, I'm mad at myself for getting stuck in this constant mental cycle I can't fucking break out of and if this is a way to either hard push the stop button on it or just sort shit out to roll with it and not find myself panicking for numerous hours of the day". Momo said and rubbed her temple.

"We are roommates and we're pretty much besties. I don't want this shit ruined by our or by my paranoia". She said and looked at Nayeon to see her staring at her.

With her big, brown beautiful eyes.

"Look, I'm gonna admit, I kind of love that little bit flirty dynamic between the two of us, it was some fun, friendly shit but over time it's just got confusing to me".

"Like what?". Nayeon asked.

"Like it's gotten to the point where I can't fucking tell the difference between whether this is friendly banter or actually legitimate flirting. Thinking about it, I know I've always been willing to play ball and I've definitely may pushed the whole dynamic forward in my own ways, but this all started with you, didn't it?". Momo huffed out and felt the frustration growing inside of her even more.

"It's always been me hasn't it ? I sure haven't seen you been this way around any of our friends, this has just been an us thing. I can't help but think there's a certain intention from you if it's just us right ?". Momo asked and Nayeon was completely quiet.

"That silence speaks volumes you know? Even a simple denial could have thrown me off the trail, but at this point there's just not denying it, is there ? There's a reason you started this shit isn't it ?". Momo rasped out and got closer to Nayeon.

"And I know that at any point you just gotta say the word and I back off. Just as much as you know that, but there's a part that likes me this close, isn't there ?". She breathed out and came even closer.

"Like all the times we've been cuddling and ended up snoozing off while binging some show together. If there wasn't a part of that which didn't enjoy this in that kind of way, then I wouldn't be here, doing this and having this kind of conversation with you. That's because both you and I know there's something between the two of us and if it takes me making this kind of move to figure that out then so be it". Momo said and leaned her head back against the couch to look at Nayeon.

She was just staring at Momo, her eyes were hazed and her lips slightly parted.

"What do you want from me? Between the cuddles, between the pet names, between all the innuendos between the two of us, between all the you never want to spin away from me, just what is it you want ? Because I sure fucking know what I want there to be between the two of us". Momo said and noticed the shutter and how erratic Nayeon's breathing was getting.

"I can notice your shutter and erratic breathing, what is that for ? Panic? Fear? Confusion?". She asked and got closer with every word.

"Or excitement? Anticipation? Arousal? Tell me baby". Momo breathed out and Nayeon gulped.

"Do you want me to stop this? It doesn't have to go further than your comfort levels".

"No". Nayeon rasped out.

"No? I thought not, and conveniently, I don't want to either. This is exactly how I was hoping it would go". Momo said and Nayeon avoided her gaze.

"No no no no no, don't avert your eyes, I need to watch that pretty face of yours". Momo said and grabbed Nayeon's chin to make her look at her again.

"You always seem so forward, so self-assured, a cocky bitch who didn't seem to care what others think and always seemed open about what she wanted, where'd that all go? Tell me, what do you want me to do to you right now?".

"I want you to kiss me". Nayeon said and Momo had to smirk.

"Kiss you huh? And just how long have you wanted me to do that?". She asked and Nayeon kept quiet again.

"I'm waiting for an answer".

"2 years". Nayeon mumbled.

"That long huh?". Momo asked and Nayeon just nodded her head.

"Well, you made me wait even longer than that didn't you? Just how long it felt, you teasing me, playing with my head and all I've ever wanted is to wipe that smug look off your face and get you to open about how you feel. Deep inside that cocky attitude, deep inside the exterior of confidence and arrogance you've developed, you're nothing more than a meek little submissive, waiting for that one girl who comes in and leaves you a horny, begging mess beneath her fingertips aren't you?". Momo asked and Nayeon blushed crimson red.

"Yes". Nayeon breathed out.

"Good girl". Momo said and stroked Nayeon's cheek with her thumb.

"Then I think we both know just where we want this to go, don't we ?". Momo asked and Nayeon nodded her head.

"Then say it for me then will you?".

"I want you to fuck me and make me yours". Nayeon said and Momo smirked at her.

"Good girl". Momo husked out and pulled her on top of her lap, so Nayeon was straddling her. Momo pulled Nayeon into a kiss, which they both sighed into.

To feel the other's lips pressed against their own was a dream both of them had for so long. Nayeon wrapped her fingers in Momo's dark, long hair to pull her impossibly closer.

"Momo". Nayeon gasped out when Momo palmed her ass. Momo just smirked into the kiss and bit Nayeon's bottom lip with her teeth to tug it forward a little.

"I love the way you say my name". Momo husked out and started sliding her hands up Nayeon's thighs. She grabbed Nayeon's shirt to take it completely off.

When she saw Nayeon's naked chest, she could feel her cock twitching in her pants.

"Fuck, baby". Momo bit her lip and let her hands roam all over Nayeon's body. She kissed her collarbones and shoulders, while she let her nails run up and down Nayeon's naked back.

Nayeon was whining and panting already which made Momo smirk again. She felt proud knowing she could make Nayeon feel this desperate without really touching her yet.

"Kneel between my legs princess". Nayeon felt a wave of wetness coating her panties at the nickname. She slid down Momo's legs to kneel between them.

"Such a good girl". Momo hummed and stroked Nayeon's cheek with her thumb.

Without loosing eye contact, Momo started taking off her clothes. First her shirt, then her black bra. When Nayeon saw Momo's abs she had to press her thighs together. After Momo took off her pants and boxers Nayeon nearly let out a moan at the sight of Momo's large cock.

"You like what you see?". Momo asked and sat back down on the couch. Nayeon quickly nodded her head, she wanted to touch Momo so bad right now.

"Show me". Momo rasped out and spread her legs a little bit. Nayeon's eyes instantly fell between her legs, Momo was big, really big. She was veiny and pre cum was already leaking out of her tip.

She grabbed Momo's cock in her hand, she has pretty large hands but she could barely wrap her hand around Momo. She started pumping up and down slowly, she felt Momo pulsing in her hand, when she looked up, she saw Momo staring at her with hazed eyes and slightly opened mouth.

Without looking away she leaned down to suck Momo completely in her mouth.

"Mmm yes". Momo moaned and combed Nayeon's hair back, so she could see her face. Nayeon started bumping her head up and down, she grabbed Momo's thighs for support while Momo started thrusting her hips up and down to fuck Nayeon's face.

"Yeah baby just like that". Momo gasped out and pushed Nayeon's head deeper down her length, which made her gag. The room was filled with wet slurping noises and quiet moans.

Nayeon's grip tightened against Momo's thighs, so Momo pulled her head back by her hair, drool was hanging down Nayeon's chin, the sight alone made Momo nearly cum.

"Why did you stop?". Nayeon asked, but Momo just lifted her up to walk into her room, where she threw Nayeon onto the bed.

Nayeon was so turned on, and so was Momo. Momo crawled onto the bed slowly, the sight made Nayeon drip even more. Momo quickly pulled Nayeon's shorts and panties down her long legs, before she threw the clothes on the floor.

Nayeon felt her heart beating faster and faster, she clenched her hands into the bedsheets when Momo laid down between her legs and spread them apart with her hands.

"Fuck, you're soaking wet". Momo breathed out and rubbed her thumb against Nayeon's clit.

"Mmm". Nayeon hummed and bit her lip at the sight of Momo laying between her legs.

"Please". Nayeon whined out.

"Please what? What do you want baby?". Momo asked and slid her fingers up and down her pussy.

"F-Fuck, please taste me". Nayeon cried out and grabbed Momo's hair to push her towards the place where she wanted her the most right now.

Momo wrapped her muscular arms around Nayeon's thighs, she kissed the inside of them slowly, teasing Nayeon.

When Momo finally sucked Nayeon's clit in her mouth, she let out a shaky breath and let her head fall back against the pillows.

"Mmm Momo". She moaned out and this made Momo moan as well. Momo pushed her tongue into her pussy, the taste of Nayeon flooded her tongue and she started tongue fucking her.

"H-Holy shit". Nayeon shakily moaned out and started thrusting her hips back and forth. Her grip on Momo's hair got tighter and tighter, and so was Nayeon's pussy.

"Are you gonna cum for me baby?". Momo asked after she pulled her tongue out of Nayeon to replace it with her fingers.

"Fuuuck yes". Nayeon moaned out and started fucking herself on Momo's fingers.

"Yeah just like that baby, you look so good right now". Momo said and Nayeon cried out in pleasure at the way the Japanese was talking to her.

"I'm gonna cum".

"Yeah cum for me love". After this was said Momo felt Nayeon clenching around her fingers. Her legs were shaking while Momo kept fucking into her pussy to let her ride out her orgasm.

"Shit". Momo said and grinned down at Nayeon who just blushed and then smirked.

Momo slowly pulled her fingers out of her and licked them clean. Nayeon was watching in pleasure.

"Let me feel you clench around my cock like that". Momo rasped out and knelt between Nayeon's legs. She grabbed her cock to slide it up and down Nayeon's slit.

"Mmm so wet". Momo hummed and then pushed into Nayeon. She watched Nayeon's pussy sucking her completely in.

"Shit, so tight". Momo groaned and leaned down to kiss Nayeon.

Nayeon wrapped her arms around the back of Momo's neck and Momo grabbed her legs to wrap them around her hips as well.

"Fuck me". Nayeon breathed out against Momo's lips.

That was all Momo needed to hear, so she started thrusting in and out of her in a steady pace. The bed was rocking with their movements and the headboard kept hitting the wall here and then.

"Oh fuck". Nayeon cried out when Momo started pounding her, she scratched down her back but Momo quickly grabbed her wrists to push them down against the mattress.

Nayeon threw her head back because Momo kept hitting her sweet spot with every thrust she did. Momo kissed down Nayeon's neck and Nayeon started to meet Momo's thrusts halfway.

The room was filled with Nayeon's wet pussy coating Momo's cock, their heavy moans and ragged breathing.

"Ride me". Momo huffed out after she pulled out of Nayeon. Nayeon quickly straddled Momo's lap to sink back down on her large cock.

"Mhm yeah baby, that's it". Momo hummed and Nayeon let out a cry at the feeling of Momo stretching her out so good. She placed her hands on Momo's abs and started bouncing up and down on Momo's dick.

"Fuck yes". Nayeon breathed out and threw her head back. Momo was watching in pure bliss, Nayeon looked like an angel, her flushed cheeks, her hazed eyes and opened mouth drove Momo crazy.

Momo slid her hands up Nayeon's thighs to grab her hips. She started fucking up into Nayeon, she could barely hold herself up on Momo anymore, so Momo wrapped her arms around Nayeon's petite waist to start jackhammering inside of her.

Nayeon let out a squeal and pressed her face in the crook of Momo's face. She clenched her hands into the pillow next to Momo's face.

"Yesyesyesyesyes". She panted out and Momo let out a groan at how tight she was getting. She spanked Nayeon's ass and palmed it with her hands afterwards to pound even harder into her. Their skin was slapping together harshly and Momo felt her abs burning.

"I'm so close". Nayeon cried out and Momo's eyes rolled back.

"Cum all over my cock baby". Momo whispered in her ear and after that Nayeon couldn't hold back any longer and squirted all over Momo's cock.

"Mmm fuck baby". Momo moaned out and then pulled out to cum all over Nayeon's ass.

They were both completely out of breath and sweating. Momo brushed some hair that was sticking onto Nayeon's forehead back and smiled at her afterwards.

Nayeon blushed but smiled back as well. Momo grabbed her chin to pull her down into a slow kiss. They both sighed into it and smiled afterwards.

"How about we take a shower?". Momo suggested. Nayeon just nodded her head and climbed off Momo slowly.

#twice smut #twice momo #twice nayeon #twice #kpop #g!p #g!p momo

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tinalbion · 1 year

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A R E A L H E R O | e i g h t

You move to Evergreen for a fresh start, you’ve inherited your grandparents’ place, and then you meet the sweetest guy. But there’s a duality to him, something a bit darker. Then you meet Vigilante, a killer anti-hero who just looks out for the safety of Evergreen, but the dangerous side of him appeals to you more than you care to admit.

》MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT《

Pairing: Vigilante x f!Reader

Rating: Mature; Reader makes a brash decision, mention of murder, blood, the usual when it comes to this group.

Length: 6.2k

p a r t 8 | a m o u r

A/N: No smut in this chapter, only because it’s more story building time, and it’s important! But we may be graced in the next chapter~

You shouldn't have even THOUGHT of doing this in the emotional state you were in, it was wrong and ultimately went back on your conversation of trust, and yet you're the one who would break it first.

You tried to talk yourself out of this the further you walked up to the dirty glass of the abandoned movie store, but there you were as you cupped your hands over your face so you could peer into the setup, barely able to see anything through the random posters plastered all over the place. There had been a series of blurry figures you could make out until you stepped off to the side and found a peeling patch of newspaper that they hadn’t fixed just yet, so you squinted to make out whatever it was you were looking at.

You saw Vij, Peacemaker, and another man in the room, all chatting with one another as they had been packing things up like weapons and such. You were torn inside, wanting to get answers to what they were doing and why Adrian was distancing himself, or you could have relied on him to tell you in his own time. But with him, you never knew if the day you saw him would be your last to see him, you had always worried about his choice of pastime activities, especially last week when he came to you with a broken spirit and a damaged foot, you had an inkling of a hope that maybe he’d take it easy.

It only started to fester deep within you earlier this week, and despite the things you said to Adrian the last time you saw him and bandaged his foot up properly, he still hadn't confided in you much about anything. His texts were scattered and brief, but he still meant the sweet words he sent to you, but he was obviously distracted to the point there was very little interaction.

You had even tried to visit him during one of his shifts, but he'd apparently called in due to "having the flu", to which you covered for him immediately and then left the restaurant feeling confused and worried.

At one point in your deep thoughts and overthinking, you asked Adrian why he had to be dropped off by the blonde woman that night, to which he instantly tensed as you sat beside him on his sofa.

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad. The Seabring break down?”

He took a breath and shrugged uneasily. “Harcourt was nice enough to drive me home because I was thrown in jail, so I didn’t have the car.”

You turned to him and stared wide-eyed. “WHAT?”

“Look, it wasn’t THAT big of a deal! I just tried to throw a garbage can through the police station’s window.”

“Adrian, what the fuck, why?” Your voice raised and you didn’t mean for it to seem like you were yelling at him, but you were so shocked that you couldn’t understand what the hell went through his head.

He grumbled and sighed. “Leota, one of the people I work with, kept saying how bad Peacemaker’s dad is, how shitty Auggie is, and he IS. Racist piece of shit, he’s always making his life miserable. So she said she wished he was out of the picture so Chris could be happy… So I figured I could make him…go away. He was already in jail, so I figured I’d just deal with it there before he got out.”

“Adrian… you didn’t…”

“No, I didn’t, I fucked up and didn’t do it.”

You sat there and looked at him as he faced the television, the pain was apparent sketched into his features, so you placed your hand on his shoulder and offered him a smile. “I’m proud that you didn’t do it, babe, you wanted to help your friend and I respect that, but those are his demons to face and he needs to deal with them, no matter how much you wanna help.”

“Yeah, I know, but still…”

You chuckled and leaned your head on his shoulder as you sat in silence with him, but soon after, he said he had to go home, despite you offering him to stay the night. Adrian declined and said he had a lot on his mind that he needed to work on, so you nodded and watched from your window as he left.

Since that night, you worried for him so much that his friendship with Chris wasn’t exactly normal, though it wasn’t your business. He seemed to be incredibly dedicated, which was a valuable trait in a friend, but you hoped that wasn’t being exploited by the others in this group. As always, you worried, and in return, he worried about you.

But how could he involve you and sacrifice your safety with everything going on? Wouldn't that be absolutely selfish of him to do so? The more he thought about everything that was going on with what he was involved in, the more he wanted to tell you and express his worries, his thoughts, all of it. It ate away at him that he couldn't tell you, and despite his protests to Harcourt, she scolded him AND Adebayo about involving those closest to them, their safety was important despite how much they wanted to keep them close. Leota reluctantly agreed and felt guilty about sending her wife away, but Adrian almost brushed it under the rug and dealt with the growing dread that sat in the pit of his stomach. He sat in silence sometimes and his thoughts drifted to you and how you would be handling his distance, he knew it was wrong of him, but how else could he tell you to stay away from this whole butterfly ordeal without revealing too much?

But when he saw you burst through the door of the video shop with that look on your face, he knew something was going to happen and it wouldn’t end well, but he froze to the spot when you glared directly at him as he held a large black container.

"Adrian you absolute asshole," you spat as you flung the door open. Still, you couldn't get another word in until the man known to be Peacemaker stepped forward, his hand gripped onto a black duffle bag as he looked absolutely confused by your presence.

"Hey, lady, you got the wrong place of establishment," he said in a slightly raised tone.

"I don't think I do, because he–" you said while pointing at Adrian– "is just the man I need to talk to."

"You know this crazy chick?" Peacemaker turned to Adrian with a distasteful expression.

"Uh yeah, she's my girlfriend." Adrian looked over at you and gave you a meek smile and a half-hearted wave.

“No she’s not,” he argued, dismissing Adrain completely.

“Yes, I am.”

The room went silent for a moment. Both John and Peacemaker looked at the brunette man and just stared, mouths hanging open in disbelief.

"There's no way this fucking idiot has a girlfriend," Economos said.

"And one that hot," Peacemaker mentioned. “Oh, I get it, is she a nerd like you? Met her playing one of your fruity little dungeons and dragons games?” He turned to look over at Adrain, who seemed to be overwhelmed by everything going on.

You turned to look at the man with a scowl on your face. "First off, don't call my boyfriend an idiot," you snapped at the large, bearded man. "And second," you whipped your head toward Peacemaker, "watch your mouth, this isn’t your business."

"You're kinda making it our business when you're busting down the door and yelling at the only people in the room," Peacemaker stated.

You gave a sigh and shook your head, but you walked up to Adrian with your consistent glare, then pulled him off to the side. "Can I talk to you in private?"

“Vij, we don’t have TIME for this, we have a cow to– SHIT to do!”

"You shouldn't be here, babe, what if the others come back and see someone they’ve never seen before? They could freak out."

"People freaking out is only a problem for you when it's one of these members of the half-assed Justice League, but when I'm the one freaking out, it's not that bad, right?" Before he could speak, you cut him off. "I don't understand you, Adrian, you're distancing yourself from me and it's not like you at all! I don't mind supporting you with whatever is going on, but you're scaring me…" Your words trailed off and felt almost too embarrassed to admit it. “I don’t know what’s happening with you and I wanna know what’s going on.”

Adrian looked at you and stared, he couldn't come up with an excuse for how you'd been treated, but he also wasn't sure what to really say in front of the others in the room.

"Sounds like trouble in paradise over there, Vij, she ain't keeping you pussy whipped, is she?"

When your eyes met the man's, he seemed incredibly unbothered by your poor attempt at intimidation, but you couldn't help the intensity of your hatred after hearing this man only speak a handful of times.

"I wish Adrian would have warned me about how you can't seem to keep your mouth shut, but I guess I found out the hard way. Now can you shut the hell up?"

"Jeez, you really need to ease up," Peacemaker groaned as he shook his head. “Either way we gotta fuckin’ go and soon, guys, this place is gonna be swarmed any minute now.”

"Can you guys stop talking about me as if I'm not even here?" Adrian said, the tone in his voice conveying his frustration. "Look, I get that I fucked up and shouldn't have pushed you away, but I can't tell you what's going on here thanks to these guys telling me to keep my mouth shut." He offered you a calm expression and then turned to his friend, who he stared at with much more annoyance. “And can you at least try not to be a dick to her, I don’t care if it’s aimed at me, but fuck dude?”

You glared at Peacemaker and took a step closer to Adrian, feeling the distrust of everyone in the room except for your boyfriend, who just seemed to be wrapped up in all this shit without really knowing what he was getting into.

“He wouldn’t be in this shit if it weren’t for you,” you pointed at Peacemaker, “ever since you came back he was so happy that ‘his friend was back’, and now, he’s running off doing your bullshit for these clowns.”

“Hey!” Economos complained.

“Look, I don’t know you, for all I know you’re the reason he’s here.”

Peacemaker erupted into a fit of laughter. “Fuckin’ dye beard here couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag and you think he can conduct a mission to kill butterflies?”

Your brow furrowed. “Butterflies?”

Adrian’s eyes widened as he stared at Peacemaker. “Chris, shut UP. Don’t involve her.”

“Why?! What is so damn important that I can’t be involved to the point I don’t know if my boyfriend is alive or not?” You were getting way too worked up to think properly, but you had a suspecting feeling that there was more going on here. “This isn’t just a simple hit mission, is it?” You turned to Adrian and your pleading expression spoke volumes.

He sighed and looked down, but then leaned in and kissed you softly, one you didn’t want him to pull away from. “I promise you I’m gonna tell you everything, but you gotta trust me, okay? I don’t want shit happening to you… Not again."

How could you stay mad at him when all he wanted to do was keep you safe? It was once again falling under the entire identity thing and if they could use something or someone he loved against him, he'd never forgive himself if you were caught in the middle.

"Things are getting intense and we gotta go, but I promise I'll be back and we can talk about whatever you want, I swear. I just need you to lay low, the group’s head guy doesn’t want anyone on the outside involved just because it’s not safe. I want you to be safe,” his sentence trailed off and he smiled at you.

“Adi, please, I don’t want you doing this, what if–”

“Promise me. Promise me you won’t get involved in this right now and I’ll tell you everything.”

"Vigilante, you can't just–" Economos began, but Adrian cut him off.

"No, I owe her that much, you weren't there when she was taken! She needs to stay safe, but she's gotta know."

Peacemaker scoffed and began to shove his guns back into their holsters. "Your funeral."

You spun to face Peacemaker again and stepped up toward him. "What the fuck is your problem, huh? Are you so spineless that you must demean everyone in this room just to feel like the big tough badass? No one gives a shit, Chris," as you drew out his name, they could hear the venom in your voice. When you stormed off toward the door, Adrian called out to you. You stopped at the door and looked back.

"I promise." He seemed so sincere, and you wondered just how far that promise would come, so you offered him a small smile and left them in the shop.

Economos felt incredibly uneasy as he stared at the pair of friends as he shifted slightly, and decided he would go and check on Judo Master, their captive that knew about and willingly worked with the butterflies.

"Ahh shit, he's gone, he's gone! Judo Master is gone!"

Adrian peeked in and looked around, obviously confused. "Judo Master was in here?"

You walked to your car as cautiously as you always did, slid into the seat, and locked the doors as soon as you leaned back into the seat. Your hands rested on the steering wheel, but all you could do was stare out the windshield, your gaze set dead ahead as you tried to empty your head of all your thoughts. You trusted your boyfriend, you had even before you knew it, but you definitely didn't trust the people he hung around.

As you thought of his promise, you couldn't get the fact that Peacemaker had been absolutely shitty toward him regardless of the situation, was he like that all the time with Adrian? His presence made your blood boil as you thought of his smug look, looking down on Adrian in that short amount of time. Your attention was stolen by the sudden burst of the door being flung open with force, the three of them ran to the large RV and piled into it, you watched as they disappeared into the vehicle and closed the door, and your body lurched forward slightly as you couldn’t help but release a sob you’d been holding for some time now.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself in annoyance.

Whatever the case, you took his words into account and drove out of there as fast and legally as you could, because if the place was going to be surrounded, might as well get the hell out of the vicinity in case you got caught and questioned.

You figured you should get some lunch for home, get some paperwork done for work, and just keep yourself at home before anything got too bad.

As you pulled into the driveway, your food in hand as you went to unlock the front door, you couldn't help but feel a deep sinking feeling in your gut. You worried about Adrian all the time, but something about the urgency of today and hearing whatever the hell about the butterflies, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread.

You sat cross-legged on the sofa and flipped through channels as you ate your takeout, you stopped on a news channel that had the headline: Captain Locke Press Conference - possible link to Sturphausen and Goff murders. It stated that Christopher Smith, also known as Peacemaker, has the belief that aliens are posing as humans and it's his job to find and kill them.

"Find and stop the Peacemaker by whatever means necessary."

Your eyes bulged as you stared in disbelief at the fact there had been a 33-victim massacre at the Glan Tai Bottling Factory, all of which Adrian probably knew about and had possibly gotten his toe injury from all of this. You sat back and almost dropped the container of food as you lost all function of your limbs, you were dumbstruck.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK, this isn’t good.” You stood up from your seat and began to pace back and forth, your food was long forgotten as you wondered what you could do before anything had gotten too out of hand, but the real question was should you even get involved when Adrian specifically asked you not to?

You’d been captured and tortured, you had gone down that road and wanted nothing to do with getting caught again, mainly if Vigilante was too preoccupied to save your ass again, you needed to think of a way to help any way you could. The more he associated with Chris, the more danger he was in for getting caught in the crossfire, and if his identity was compromised… You scolded yourself and shook your head, what you were thinking was absolutely insane, you’d barely held a firearm except for the times you practiced with Adrian, but you knew that wouldn’t be enough to save you if things went south.

With a frustrated growl, your fingers slid across your hair as you thought until your head pounded and you couldn’t think straight, so you decided without much hesitation that you’d raid Adrian’s stash of guns and do what you could to make sure he’d live. You owed him that much.

As you drove to his place, you talked to yourself in the car, berating yourself for the choices you were making, you figured that if you went back now he wouldn’t hold it against you. He did his job of keeping things as silent as he could without involving you, despite how he’d gone about it, so he wouldn’t be upset that you wouldn’t be there. But even as you went inside his place, you rifled around his things and grabbed all you could as you strapped his holster to yourself, and you felt as if you could take on an army. You made sure everything was back in its place and properly put away until your eyes swept over the nightstand, where he kept the first photo of you and him that you took when you guys officially started dating. A smile crept across your face and you settled on your plan; you were going to help him no matter what.

It was a stupid idea to an outsider, sure, you were planning to burst into a facility with no way of knowing who or what you’d come across, but you knew the group Adrian was working with would be there, trained guns for hire, so you’d possibly get lucky and somehow manage to live.

You walked over to the police scanner, listening in on anything that you could pick up on the whereabouts of the Peacemaker, and with a bit of patience as you turned the dial as slowly as you could, you picked up on an intercepted conversation, the radio static barely allowed you to hear it until you finally set the dial and it was clear as day.

“-the Peacemaker was seen headed north-west down Highway 99 in a Burgundy 2016 Ford Fiesta, two other suspects in the vehicle, possibly Vigilante accompanying them. Calling in a 10-85 to follow to Coverdale Ranch.”

“10-04.”

“Shit,” you huffed and shut off the machine, then you headed out in your car and didn’t look back. You pulled out and began your lengthy drive to Coverdale Ranch, the infinite possibilities of the situation ran wild in your mind, but all you knew is that Adrian could be in heaps of trouble, and you wanted to help him as he had helped you.

Though you had trained with him in the basics of weaponry and self-defense, you couldn’t help but shake the feeling that you’d be more of a burden than an actual help to them, but if you died doing this, you had felt that you wouldn’t regret the choices you made. You’d loved him despite everything, you loved the times you shared, even loved the strange and wild way you both met. Your foot pushed down further onto the pedal, the speed picked up and you would make it, you had to.

The field was a bloodbath and you were out of your depth, your hands shaking as you ran past the dead group of people on the ground, blood splattered everywhere as you ran toward the center of the fighting, the gunshots rang louder than you expected and caused you to constantly flinch. You saw the familiar faces of Economos and Harcourt, Economos was on the ground, making his way to the firefight as the blonde woman was shot several times, then she fell to the ground and coughed up a large amount of blood.

Everyone was in a panic and yet they continued to fight until they couldn’t anymore, except you couldn’t see Adrian anywhere, and that’s when you began to panic. Your eyes searched for him frantically as you held your gun as you were taught, but you were pulled out of your search by the scream of a man who bolted right toward you.

You tensed but eagerly spun to have your barrel meet his face, and with a quick breath and a fast aim, you shot at him and braced for impact. None ever came. Blood spurted from his throat and he collapsed to the ground, his movements slowed until there were none at all, and you couldn’t get over the fact that you killed someone.

‘You knew this would happen if you interfered, there’s no reason to back out now, Adrian needs you. Keep going.’

A few more stragglers that made their way to you were easily taken care of, their movements were sporadic and sloppy, so you were able to dodge them by controlling the speed of your feet. You stopped quickly and allowed one of the attackers to swipe at nothing and you watched him tumble over almost comically, then you shot him square between the eyes. You were more confident in your abilities now, but you still wouldn't allow yourself to grow an ego, you needed to focus and be sure to keep yourself alive long enough.

Your feet took you as fast as they could go toward the group that was gathered in the center of the chaos, Ecomonos had finally reached the halfway point as you booked it past him, and he paid you no mind. Finally, you saw the suit you’d been so well acquainted with, and a wave of relief washed over you. Your feet carried you as quickly as you could manage and you were so close to reaching him, but a shot rang out and you saw that teal and black suit stained red with blood shortly after.

You couldn't hold back the blood-curdling scream you released as you raised your gun and shot at his attacker, all while Adrian still managed to throw a knife directly at the man at the same time your bullet luckily hit him dead in the eye.

The skin of your knees was now bruised and slightly bloody as you slid across the soil, rocks be damned, you wouldn't let something happen to him as you crawled to reach him. You could hear that he was still breathing but wasn't as strong as it could be, and when you rolled him over slightly to take a look at him, his suit was all but destroyed, there had been so much blood on your hands when you pulled them away. The sight of it had you almost to the point of hyperventilating because you were already thinking the worst, so you removed his visor and checked him as best as you could without moving him too much.

Leota had just finished saving Harcourt as she ripped out one of the butterflies from her mouth, and shot it before it could take over her body, then her attention was pulled toward you hovering over Adrian's body.

"Hey, is he alive?" She asked as she still remained at Emilia's side.

You looked up and stared at her through your teary eyes. "Yes, but barely. I don't know how long he'll be okay… Is she okay?"

Leota stood and looked down at Harcourt then back at you. "For now. We gotta get them out of here, though."

The blonde woman gripped Leota’s arm and shuttered. "Help… Chris," was all Harcourt could muster.

Leota looked terrified, scared of the fact that they could die at any point and yet they wanted her to leave them there.

"Go and help, I'll stay here and protect them if I need to."

The woman looked at you in confusion for a moment. "You're… Adrian's girlfriend, right?" You nodded. "He talks a lot about you, pretty ballsy you bein' here. But you're good people, so here, take this just in case."

She handed you one of her guns and you waved your hand in protest. "I got plenty, you need that, now go and do whatever you need to do."

"Leota!"

Ecomonos had suddenly appeared and rolled a silver Peacemaker helmet toward her, his body now weak as he collapsed onto the soil to rest. You watched them with curiosity as Leota suddenly left and made her way down an eerie-looking entranceway that led underground, leaving you with everyone in an uncomfortable silence.

You hadn't left Adrian's side as you stroked his hair while he slept, all you wanted was to make sure he continued to breathe, so you did what you could with his wounds and put pressure on them as you wrapped them up with whatever you could find. You only left his side long enough to tear off chunks of cloth from the bodies that were scattered around you, you helped out Economos as best as you could without fucking up his leg even further, to which he thanked you.

"Sorry we sorta ganged up on you back at the video store."

"It's fine," you replied coolly as you made your way back to Adrian's side. "Sorry I yelled at you."

He scoffed and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose we deserved it. Why are you here though? Shouldn't you be staying as far away from this shit as you possibly can?"

You looked over your boyfriend's face and contemplated for a moment, not quite sure what went through your head while you did all of this. "Honestly, I did it for him. I didn't care what would have happened to me, I just wanted to help him. Even if it killed me."

John stared at you in what you would assume was awe and possibly even lunacy, but he gave you a small smile in return. "He's lucky to have someone like you. Why you came out here was fucking insane but really brave of you."

You chuckled. "Thanks, man."

You clung to Adrian and your mind was slightly more at ease, you wanted to believe that he would be okay and that everything would be as it was in a week or two, but you were scared shitless. With any luck, they would finish whatever mission this was and you could all escape the police before they came to collect Peacemaker and company. So long as his breathing continued to remain steady, you would feel okay, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if something went wrong.

A low rumble began steadily beneath your feet, both you and Economos stared at each other, unsure of what the sound was or what you should do, if anything. When the rumble became stronger and more violent, you got to your feet and scooped Adrian in your arms, pulling him from under his arms away from the danger, though you didn't get far. The man was already heavy with the muscle he gained, but with the suit on top of it, it was almost impossible, but you had your burst of adrenaline to thank. Economos crawled further away despite his leg protesting, the shooting pain he felt was unlike anything he'd felt before. When the rumbling slowed and came to a stop, you stood still and gently placed Adrian back down, which caused him to stir.

He grumbled and groaned as his eyes fluttered open, his brown pulled together while his eyesight tried to adjust with no glasses to peer through. But as he looked up, there you were with a smile on your face and worry in your eyes, your face splattered with droplets of blood.

"Wait, what happened? What are you doing here, babe?" His voice was hoarse and dry.

You knelt back down and placed several kisses on his forehead as you brushed his hair back. "Oh thank fuck, you're okay. Try not to move until we figure out what's going on, okay?"

"How are you here?"

You looked away sheepishly and hummed. "Well, I saw the news, so I went to your place and got some weapons, then overheard on the police scanner that you were spotted coming up this way. I came as fast as I could."

"Shoulda saw her in action, Vij, she was pretty crazy," Economos said matter-of-factly. "She's been by your side since she got here."

Adrian squinted and looked at you with concern, which wasn't a good look. "You coulda got hurt."

"And you could have died, but I don't care, Adrian. You saved me, I wanted to save you."

He was upset that you didn't listen, all he wanted was for you to be okay and safe, away from all of this nonsense. But overall, he did take Economos's words into consideration; he was pretty lucky to have someone like you.

A sound came from behind you and you all turned to see Peacemaker pulling himself from the wreckage that followed behind him, Leota right behind him. Economos sighed in relief and groaned.

"You guys are okay, holy shit."

"Get to Harcourt, she's not doing good," you said loudly as you pointed at her, and Chris followed your direction and immediately scooped her into his arms. "Come on, handsome, we gotta get you to the hospital." You stood up and pulled him to his feet gently, the groan that emerged was painful.

Adrian hobbled one step ahead and almost collapsed again, but you caught him in time. "Come on, I'll be fine, I just need a nap."

"Adrian, no, you're going into the hospital."

Peacemaker said nothing as he carried the blonde woman who lay unconscious, breathing, but alive. As if it were a cruel joke, several members of the Justice League came to greet them, but the entire group kept moving past them.

"You're late, you fucking dickheads," Chris complained with a sneer.

The members looked on in disbelief, but you didn't care, you just needed to get everyone to the hospital, especially before Harcourt didn't have a chance to make it.

Vigilante stood there, his hand placing pressure on the gunshot wounds beneath his ribcage, but the way he could barely stand was a cause for worry, yet he didn’t say a word and watched as Harcourt and Economos were carted off to be taken care of. Chris and Leota stood beside you two and it almost felt awkward as you all

Chris looked over at Vigilante as you continued to hold him up, but he swayed a bit too far and almost toppled over. “Dude, you’re shot. You gotta be admitted.”

Vigilante sighed and shook his head. “I’m fine, seriously. All I need is a good nap.” After a moment of silence, Vigilante fell to the floor with you trying your best to catch him before he did.

“Can someone help him, please?!” you called out desperately, and your call was answered almost immediately as a group of nurses and doctors swarmed around you both.

They picked him up and wheeled him into a room with you not far behind, but one of the nurses turned to you and placed a hand in front of you to stop you.

"I'm sorry, miss, you have to stay out here, okay? Please, we just need to get him into surgery as fast as we can, and as soon as it's finished, we'll call you in."

You wanted to protest, you wanted to be there for him and you wanted to keep that promise, but getting thrown out wouldn't do much good. So you sighed and nodded, then walked back to the waiting room where Peacemaker was sitting. His head was hung low as his elbows rested on his knees, and you had just caught a glimpse of Leota leaving through the front door.

As much as it pained you to be near him, you sat beside Chris and looked over silently, not wanting to force a conversation. You sighed as you leaned back in the chair and closed your eyes, all you wanted to do was take a breath and not have to worry about anything for at least twenty minutes. Your body relaxed and you felt yourself falling asleep, but Peacemaker looked over at you and cleared his throat.

"Hey uh, I know you didn't have to come to us at the ranch, but thanks for helping," he said gruffly. “Heard you took some guys down.”

Your eyes opened and you turned your head slightly to look at him. "Yeah well, I did it for Adrian, he did it for me." You turned your gaze back toward the help desk and stared at the constant movement until you heard your name called. Your head whipped up and stared at the doctor holding a clipboard as he made eye contact with you, then you made your way to him with a blatant expression of pure worry.

"Mr. Chase didn't need much done, he just had some sutures, the bullets were removed and everything seems to be going well. He's lost blood from the wounds, but his recovery is miraculous. Did you want to see him?"

"Yes, please." You followed quickly on his heels as he guided you to his room, and of course, he was already awake and moving around in his bed.

"Mr. Chase, could you please not remove the IV yet?"

His gaze rested on you and the smile that followed was one you wished to see for the rest of your days. "You're still here!" He said excitedly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" You turned around and looked over at the doctor. "Can he go home today?"

"Yes, so long as he waits patiently for us to discharge him," he said with emphasis on the last of the sentence. "But I'll come back in a bit once we initiate the paperwork." The doctor left and closed the door behind him, which left you both alone.

You turned back to him and he was already discarding the IV and the heart monitor, and all you could do was laugh. "Adi, calm down, he said to wait."

"And I did. I waited until he left the room," he said with a smirk.

You sucked your teeth and shook your head as you sat down on the edge of the bed beside him, and once you did that, he finally settled down a bit. He looked up at you, his face a tad bit bruised and puffy as he stared at you. When you looked over at him, he couldn't help but smile at you.

"What?" you asked.

"Nothing, just wish I coulda seen you in action, did those lessons I gave you pay off?" He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

You almost wanted to blush. "Shut up, Adrian. But yeah, gotta say, I was scared as hell, but that adrenaline? Woo boy, really paid off. But I was so fucking scared, Adrian…” You sighed as you reached out for his hand, which he allowed you to take, and you squeezed it gently. “I was so scared you weren’t gonna make it.”

The look of guilt seemed to sink into his features, but you placed your hand on his cheek to have him look at you. “Look, babe, I–”

“Ssh, I don’t care right now, I just wanna enjoy this win, okay? You’re alive and that’s all that matters.” You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, slowly being consumed by him until you felt him pushing back, his mouth opened to allow his tongue to caress your bottom lip. You pulled back with a smile. “Adrian, in the hospital room?” You asked, your voice light and playful.

“Sure, why not?”

“Because you just had bullets removed from your body,” you replied with an overwhelmed tone, but you barely fought back against his advances, his hand slid down the front of your shirt, and a small whimper escaped your lips. His devious smile made you want to rethink it, but you had a better idea. “How about,” you began as you pulled his hand down and placed it on your leg, “we get out of here and if you can make it from here to the house, I’ll change my mind.”

His smile only grew. “Deal.”

The television inside the room was on and as soon as Adrian looked up, he patted your arm and pointed. Your eyes followed and you saw Leota at a press conference.

‘A.R.G.U.S. Agent Speaks Out’, the prompt read. “–Which means Christopher Smith never wrote any diary. Both the Peacemaker and the costucrime-fighterhter Vigilante were working in a deep-cover operation for the U.S. government called “Project Butterfly”. This is all part of a black-ops program known as “Task Force X,” where convicted criminals are undertaking dangerous missions for the United States in exchange for time shaved off their sentences.”

You looked back over at Adrian, completely stunned. “Holy shit… that’s… that’s insane.”

Adrian only shrugged and nodded in agreement. “Well, what are you gonna do, a woman in power like that? Does whatever she wants. Glad Leota was on our side.”

“Yeah,” you breathed… “Hey, let’s go home, yeah?”

Adrian smiled and sighed in relief as he was already slipping out of the bed and across the room to grab his things. “I’d like nothing more. But we gotta go my way.”

“Adrian, you’re not–”

“Oh yes, I am.” He gathered all his things and slung them over his shoulder. “You comin’? I’ll catch you, promise.”

You looked over at the large open window and sighed, you shook your head in disbelief. “I guess so, let’s do this.” You walked over toward the window and looked down, the height wasn’t that bad, so you looked up at him and gave him a playful smirk. “You’re lucky I love you, Adrian Chase.” You placed a quick kiss on his lips and didn’t even give him time to process as you jumped from the window and screamed.

Adrian stood there for a moment in the room and looked back outside as you recovered quickly from the jump, and you stared up at him. “You what?!”

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doctorho · 2 years

Text

If you knew what the bluebirds sing (part 21)

Royal! Viktor x gender neutral reader, 2.5 k words, warnings: brief mentions of drugs and violence, but nothing graphic

hi guys!! i'm back <3 life has been a wild ride lately, and i didn't really know what to do with this chapter, i think i was just overthinking it, not sure how to lay out everything. turns out that when you start writing a story without having a plan for what happens, you might end up having to improvise some stuff. who knew.

but here we are!! finally!! sorry it took forever, i hope you’re all doing well!! yeehaw

tags: @aggressa @obsessive-sapphic @shadow-pancake9 @agatemermaid @scorpio-echo @kalisbury @viktoryscreech @ivetoldamillionlies @twilightdollie @cassandras-musings @kaimerra @raiden88 @emma-the-duck17 @thefiasco-onyourblock @pinkrose1422

The next week is a blur of passed-down notes hidden in laundry baskets, carefully planned trips to the North tower and back, and secret meetings in dark distant near-forgotten rooms of the library archives.

Empty hallways, silent as if frozen in time. Anxiety buzzing in your veins with every dangerous turn you take, and the nervousness slithering at the bottom of your stomach like a nest of blind eels.

It settles to a steady background hum, the danger. Knowing how easily this could all crumble if you got caught, or said the wrong thing, or simply happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You mostly learn to ignore it, too busy focusing on whichever task at hand was more important than worrying – but the worry lingers, on the back of your mind. Coats your skin like a thin layer of dust.

It’s a little bit like holding your breath. Like you’re always a little bit on your toes. Always waiting for something to go wrong. Holding something fragile and just waiting to trip.

It feels absurd, all of it. Being this close to something this big. Seeing Viktor gather information about everything that was going on behind his back. All the secrets, all the affairs he wasn’t supposed to meddle in. All the lies. All the secret, hushed agreements he wasn’t supposed to hear about. And you definitely weren’t supposed to hear about any of this, either; so watching it all unfold, helping him unravel it, felt like seeing something you weren’t supposed to see.

It felt like holding your fingers on the heartlines of the kingdom.

It starts simply. With Viktor wanting to map out everything he isn’t supposed to know. First, from you, and then from Jayce, and then from Caitlyn. She proves to be more helpful than you’d thought, having an insider’s perspective to whatever the guards were up to, and a good pair of eyes.

Apparently, she had already been looking into it on her own.

You had never had an actual conversation with her before, but it came clear pretty quickly that she was as done with the corruption as you were. And more than excited to jump at the opportunity to do something about it.

When she shows up to the first secret meeting, it is with a plan and a folder full of her own observations.

You’re in one of the dusty old rooms in the library, sitting around a large round wooden table that was probably at least twice as old as you were. She walks into the room, places the folder down with a dull thud, and then shifts her weight from one side to the other, and looks at both Viktor and Jayce like she’s waiting for something.

Viktor looks at the folder, and then at her, and then he simply raises one eyebrow.

“Jayce told me you needed evidence,” Caitlyn says, her voice quiet but clear, “It’s not much, but I thought I’d provide some helpful notes.”

“Not much?” Jayce comments, leaning closer to the table and tilting his head a bit, looking at the folder sideways, “That’s like, a whole book.”

Both Caitlyn and Viktor ignore him, and you just smile faintly.

Viktor leans closer to the table, and looks up at Caitlyn. “May I?” He asks, nodding towards the folder, and then looking at Caitlyn until she nods back.

“Of course,” She answers, gesturing towards the table, “I mean, it’s your kingdom.”

Viktor breathes out a quiet huff, half chuckle and half sigh. “Allegedly.” He mutters, while reaching for the folder.

A part of you wants to do…something. Reach out to him, maybe. It’s stupid, and irrelevant, and you know this isn’t even on the list of priorities at the moment, but the bitter undertone in his voice leaves you feeling like your entire soul is itching to help somehow.

Slowly, with a barely-there movement, you gently press your leg against his under the table. Just to let him know you’re there.

He knows, of course. You’re sitting on the seat next to him, yes, logically, he knows you’re there. But this is more a reminder than anything, a silent offer of comfort, letting him know that you’re there, for all of this.

He doesn’t react visibly, and doesn’t take his eyes off the folder, but his thigh presses against yours slightly.

He pulls the folder towards himself quietly and opens it, studying the first page for only a few seconds before looking up at Caitlyn again.

“Can you tell me more about this?” He asks, nodding towards the folder again.

It was full of notes and even some pictures – drawings, mostly – and it seemed to be color-coded. Or, it was colorful, and you guessed that that was probably for a reason. You doubted that Caitlyn had colored the pages and titles for fun.

She nods again, the gesture fast, short and efficient, before listing what all the colors responded to. Viktor shifts his eyes back to the notes slowly, and you do your best to follow Caitlyn’s explanation, but at least some of it slips away from your brain instantly.

Blue notes are about the guards. Red is violence, purple is drugs. She had gathered pretty much the same information you had, except from the other side of the problem and a lot earlier.

According to her, the guards had been quietly running their own operations for at least as long as she had been there, and as far as she could easily trace it back.

She doesn’t say it out loud, but that means that it’s been going on at least as long as Viktor has been occupying the throne.

That’s both a small relief and a sinking disappointment that leaves your heart feeling a bit too heavy.

It means that this started long before Viktor was old enough to do anything about it, but it also means that the problem is bigger and older than you had originally thought.

It seems to be deep-rooted into the daily life of the castle; quiet agreements with some of the important families in the city, convenient access for smuggling things in and out, and the guards always having a bit too much freedom to break the laws they were supposed to enforce.

Not all of them were in on it. But enough were that it seemed to be an open secret amongst them.

According to Caitlyn, it was one of those topics the other guards skirted around, but pretty carelessly. Talked about in off-handed remarks said only partially out loud. There seemed to be a silent agreement around how things worked, and it was easy to tell who got to play by different rules than everyone else.

And it was easy to see how they could be careless around breaking the rules when they were the ones supervising them.

The more she explains it, the thicker the air in your lungs feels. It’s wrong, and every one of you knows it, and with every passing second the problem starts to seem bigger and bigger and more out-of-reach, and it only serves to fuel your urge to tear the whole castle apart with your bare hands.

Caitlyn is angry about it, too. You can see it; the way she’s steel-focused on making things better. The way she talks about how this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Viktor sits quietly, listening. And it’s like there’s a dark cloud around him, heavy and ready to rain. He’s calm, and he speaks clearly, and listens carefully, and his movements are slow and purposeful. But there’s something lifeless about it, something hard and dense, like he’s tired of going through these motions. Like he’s wearing a mask again, performing the role he’s supposed to play. A puppet on a string trying to find a way to fight it.

Jayce is lively enough for the both of them, moving around and making wild hand gestures while coming up with plans and suggestions. He keeps his voice hushed, even though Viktor is pretty sure no-one ever even comes to the nearest hallway, nevertheless the archive wing.

Listening to the conversation feels like walking on thin ice.

You never know if – or when – it’s going to crack.

Sitting there felt weird, too. It wasn’t really a place you were supposed to be hanging around in. If anything, you should have been using your time to make sure the room was a little less dusty.

But instead, you are sitting at the table.

It’s a planned meeting. They all said they wanted you there. And yet something about it made the back of your neck crawl, like you were out of place and just waiting to be caught. Which was, you guessed, a reasonable fear, but still an annoying one. Viktor had reassured you early on that no-one else used the room – it was full of old bank statements, and no-one was interested in those. According to him, the archives were the quietest rooms in the library; stagnant, frozen in time, and of little interest to anyone.

It was shelves and shelves of old, leather-bound books and hand-pressed folders, with yellowed papers sticking out of some of them. The rooms were split up by topic; maps, infrastructure, lineage records, bank records, and who knows what else. The whole library was like a big maze, and you had never had the time to really pay attention to what was actually in there.

But Viktor had, so you believed him.

Some of the rooms had couches in them. Rooms that he liked hiding in, closer to the center of the library and within easier, faster access than the archives, which were far away from everything.

He had shown you one of his favorite spots in the library, one night; an old, red, worn-out couch in one of the smaller library rooms. There were only a few shelves, a window with a view of the gardens – an unpopular part of it, off-trail, with only the shady side of some trees visible instead of the extravagant flowers that most people there seemed to be fond of – and a fireplace.

You could see why he liked it. It was calm, and quiet, and the gentle night rain created a nice steady sound against the windows, even managing to push down some of your lingering anxiety. He had lit some candles as soon as you’d entered the room, and with the fireplace, they had provided enough light to read by.

He had read out loud to you, on the couch. One of his favorite books. It was the middle of the night, and you were pretty tired, but the moment was worth struggling to stay awake for. It was one of those rare glimpses of peace you had managed to steal, and you were going to hold onto it as best you could.

And when you’re sitting at the old conference table in the archive room, tired and angry and trying your best not to slip over to desperate, that’s what you hold onto. That feeling, that peace, that calmness. That simple happiness, that rightness that felt like something inside your heart had aligned after being slightly out-of-place for so long you couldn’t remember anything else.

That hunger to have more of it. That fragile, hollow-boned hope that maybe you could have that for real, without having to hide in the dark.

The belief that all this trouble was worth fighting for. That it was all worth the risk.

The more you look over Caitlyn’s folder, the more you hear them talk, the more you plan, the more solid the situation feels. The realer the danger gets. The more you start to feel like you’re in over your head. That you could have chosen an easier path to take.

The plan is simple; strategically uproot all the secrets, and watch the system crumble. Watch all these fragile lies break each other.

“We don’t even need to tear it down," Caitlyn had said at one point, "This world. It’s falling down on its own, all around us. We can just use the momentum.”

It was true; with the way things were now, it wasn't working. Trying to make things better was a gamble, but it was a gamble worth the risk.

You hope.

It feels dangerous. It is dangerous, and it’s big, and you knew it could end badly for all of you. And the whole time you sit there planning, your brain periodically reminds you that you don’t have to do any of this.

But that always feels hollow. It’s true, of course; you could have just walked away from all of this. You didn’t have to be a part of it. You could have just let the world go on the way it was. You could have not gotten involved.

You could have quit. You could have just turned a blind eye to all of it, you could have chosen not to get this close to the eye of the storm, the collapsing heart of the kingdom. You could have chosen to stay at a distance. Not get close to Viktor. Never look at him twice. Never think of him like this, from up close.

But even when you know that’s all technically true, you don’t believe it for a second. Because somehow this feeling, this hope for a better future, it has grown roots tightly around your heart.

And you don’t even want to get rid of it.

You want to fight for it, with your teeth bared and ready to snarl, ready to tear these rotten structures apart brick by brick. Even if it’s dangerous. Even if it’s borderline hopeless. Even if you feel too small to really be able to make a difference.

You have to try.

Because you’re pretty sure something in your heart would die and choke and wither if you didn’t.

And seeing all this injustice unfold around you felt like drowning, and even if you didn’t know if you could win, the idea of fighting felt like being able to breathe again. Like trying to swim to the surface after being submerged for a bit too long.

The night after the first secret meeting in the library, in a hushed careful voice, Viktor seems to agree.

You’re in his bed again, laying under the covers in the dark, bodies pressed so close that you could feel his breathing, slow and deep and steady.

“Do you really think we can do this?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper. You can feel his breath, warm on your skin as it fans over your face with each word.

In the darkness, it feels like the words envelop you, melting into the shadows and echoing in the chambers of your heart. There is something fragile in his voice, something hollow-boned and raw, and it sounds like he’s showing you his soul. The tired boy behind the mask.

For a single second, the whole world stands still.

“Yes,” You breathe back, into the darkness, the word nothing more than a soft exhale, “And even if we can’t, I think we have to try.”

It feels light, saying that out loud. It’s true;

You’re not sure if you could live the rest of your life wondering how things could have turned out if you stopped now. If you didn’t even try to make things better.

If you didn’t even try to swim to the surface.

You want to see this hope bloom, even if that means that it could sink some thorns into your heart in the process.

He is worth the risk.

#royal au #viktor arcane #viktor arcane x reader #viktor x reader #arcane fanfic #viktor

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mydarkdevotion · 1 year

Text

Chapter 2

Curiosity killed the cat

Stephen was overthinking.

He was also pacing his room about an hour after the castle had settled and fallen asleep. Hearing Robin and Murray's voices in his head thinking about ‘maybe this wasn't such a smart idea’ his hand would touch the knob of his bedroom door and fly right off as if it had burned him. It was that first disobedient thinking that made him feel brave and eager to disobey his parents, go outside, and have some fun under the cover of night.

It's going to be fine. This time is different. This time he knew he wanted out. Get to know his kingdom before he was forced to reign from within its walls and with a familiar face. A face that would keep him from indulging in these moments.

"Come on Stephen. Thomas is waiting and if you don't leave, you'll never hear this down. And the regret you'll feel will be too much.’ He made his way back over to the door, his hands taking the knob once more. 'Shit-just go.’ He yanked the door open so fast that the guard who was standing outside his door shot so high and in his heavy armor.

“Sorry, My Prince. Did you require anything?” Stow. He was a knight under Powell, a likable fellow but not very bright. He was also one of the men that Murray and he was talking about that might have gotten that girl pregnant. This could work in his favor for tonight tell him the news, give him some assurance that he’d be alright by the Prince.

"Um, no, well yes! I didn’t eat much at dinner and well, I thought I'd go down to the kitchen to get a quick bite.”

Stephen straightened his dress jacket that concealed the loose tunic and vest Murray gave him underneath. He closed the door softly and started past the guard down the hall hearing the clanking of metal follow behind.

“I could call one the serfs for you?”

“Oh no!” He said, raising a hand. “I have no problem going down and taking a look. No need to wake anyone.” The guard said nothing more and continued to follow.

The halls were quiet and they were lucky enough not to pass any other guards or any of the staff. Once they made it to the doors of the dining hall Stephen grabbed the handle before the man and half turned toward him. Holding the view inside the dark to keep the guard from falling to him within.

“Listen, um, you really don't need to stay here with me,” The man gave him a puzzled look. “You see there’s this pretty new Kitchen maid, and well,” Stephen smiled while he pushed his hair back from his face. This seemed to make the man slightly uncomfortable and he wouldn’t question the Prince’s action and would never question things that his Prince did in his free time.

“And I know about,” he leaned in close. “ May, Right? the pregnancy.” The man’s eyes widened and he cleared his throat clearly, more uncomfortable from the fact the Prince knew of his activities in the castle. “ hey listen it's alright. Don't fear, I'm not going to say anything about it. I just…well thought you would be understanding with me wanting to have some fun.” Stephen added leaning on the door frame. The man looked back up and a sense of relief came over him.

So he took a step back and bowed slightly. “I'll just be wondering, Sir.” And with that, he walked down the opposite hall. Once out of sight, Stephen left from the door closing softly to run toward the stairs to the kitchen. It was dark but still slightly warm from the evening dinner. He tiptoed in looking to see that Benny’s door was shut meaning he was asleep at least he hoped so. But he did ask for Murray to make sure that he didn't get locked out later.

His hand touched the latch and slowly pulled it only for it to make a little noise but not enough to wake the cook. Once it was unlocked he turned his head and saw a brown cloak hanging on the wall beside the door. Stephen took off his dress jacket and adjusted the tunic to come out from being tucked in his trousers falling mid-thigh. He pulled off the cloak and tied it to himself and placed his dress jacket behind a sack of potatoes by the sink.

He looked behind him once more and turned the knob. It grinded, making him turn it a bit slower till it opened. His head popped out to see if any guards were patrolling, not seeing any lantern light moving from any corner, he closed the door behind him quietly and crouched slightly toward one of the bushes by the high wall. It was a bit of a distance from the end of the castle to the other but he could make it. All he had to do was look for the soft orange glow of light. Easy peasy. And so far his night has been really lucky.

He was almost to the courtyard when he saw the light of a lantern coming out from within. He ducked into a rose bush feeling the thorns scraping his hands and pulled at his clothes but he was well hidden from the guards moving past. One of them yawned loudly and the other went on in a nearly silent conversation about armor. Once they reached the arch that was covered in vines, Stephen made a break for the back of the courtyard for the stables.

When Stephen wasn't training with Hopper or being dulled down by his tutors. The stables were the next comforting place as a kid. The horses and other animals were better company than that of old men. It was where he’d meet Thomas for the first time, helping to clean the stalls. His father wasn't a military man but a horse trainer who was also an auctioneer for the best in horses and cattle. Every day Stephen would peek in and watch whatever task Thomas was doing that day. Feeding the horses or brushing them.

“What are you staring at?” Thomas said one day, making Stephen jump in surprise and enter the stables but keeping close to the doors.

“Nothing. I was just watching the animals. Is that ok?” he asked shyly.

Thomas shrugged. “Did you-did you want to feed Marybay?” Stephen smiled wide and nodded. Thomas handed him some oats and told him everything. What they could eat, what they couldn't. And even told him which of the king's 13 horses were picky eaters. Which liked oats. Which liked apples and so on. It soon became a habit for the Prince to come to the stables around noon most times bringing his lunch and share with Thomas.

“I don't want to take care of horses forever,” Thomas said at 12. Munching on some crackers and jam that Stephen handed him. “I want to do something more. My old man said I should try out for the city watch or something.”

“City watch? That's terrible. Why not- come join the kingsguard! You can come and train with me. I can talk to Hopper.”

“Wow, is the prince putting in a special word for me?” Thomas said looking up.

“Well yeah, you're my best friend,” Stephen said stuffing his mouth with his own cracker but with cheese. “We can stick together and win wars! Battle monsters!”

Thomas grinned and nodded. “Yeah, I like that. Best friends. I like that too.”

The door was slightly ajar making Stephen slip through keeping quiet to not disturb the horses. He could hear some whispering toward the back and found Thomas sitting with Jason and Patrick around a small lantern. He’d only met them a few times at the ring but knew that they were nobles. Once Stephen came into view Thomas stood and grinned. “You actually made it.”

“Well, I couldn’t let you have all the fun,” Stephen said, looking over everyone. They were all dressed like him in simple wear. Look normal, act normal.

“Alright let's go.” Jason blew out the lantern. And Thomas led the way out the back of the stable toward the rear end of the stable. He tapped on one of the boards and it popped open to the outside of the gate that was locked. Each boy followed out waiting for Thomas to snap that it was clear to go and then practically jogged over the bridge toward the upper city. Once inside that gate they went right following Thomas he knew where they were going. Stephen threw on his hood to cover his face because the upper city was bright with light and the oil was affordable to those who lived there. They had to stay in the dark as best as they could, needing to make it past the first ring of the more wealthy classes toward the second and lower classes because no one would recognize them there. They moved fast through the street and onward for a good few minutes.

Stephen was surprised at how lively it could be this late at night. People moved to and fro as if it were daytime and the festival was days away. He could only imagine what it would be like then. People were laughing and even arguing joyfully. Holding wear from under decorated tents. Jewelry, clothes, or other oddities from faraway lands. Even the food smelled amazing. He pulled his hood away a bit to take in a deep inhale. A strong sweet and buttery fragrance turned his head to a little carriage with its back open, with an elder lady mixing something in a bowl. She must have felt his stare because she looked up at him with a warm smile. He took a step toward it-

“Stephen, this way Let’s get a drink.” Thomas pulled his arm toward one of the open taverns across the way where most people seemed to be gathering.

He and Jason sat at one of the tables closest to the end while Thomas and Patrick got the pints. The building had double doors opened wide so those inside could look out into the square. It had another layer where few were leaning over the rail looking down at people or talking at side tables. The bar was covered in glass bottles of different shapes holding different colored drinks. The bartender was an older gentleman with a long brown mustache talking to Thomas at the counter. A large fire kept the room warm. People were happy here. People from his city and travelers dance together. Stephen smiled and looked over at Jason who was also looking about the room but didn't seem as interested in the place as Stephen was. Actually, he looked bored as he tapped his finger on the table.

Thomas dropped the cup in front of him climbing onto the bench beside him. The foam told the prince that it was a simple ale that he told about before by Thomas. He wasn’t allowed to indulge in these things at the castle, only wine sometimes. It smelt earthy, once on his lips he could taste the bitter malt. With oatmeal sweetness aftertaste. It wasn’t too bad. It quenches his thirst so he keeps drinking.

Stephen looked up to see Jason had lightened up a bit as they began to drink. They all seemed to loosen up.

“Tommy look at her.” Patrick casually whispered Tommy's nickname. that was something Stephen was never able to do because he was raised to be formal. Patrick was nodding in the direction of a table with a few women we're sitting at each leaning into one another and looking over toward their table. The boys talked about the prettiest one or who they would take for themselves. Stephen agreed nodding as they would ask him to. And the women were beautiful but he knew from listening to his mother that they were the women that would never be allowed near the castle. His eyes lifted back up to her giggling followed by them standing to make their way over to their table. Stephen turned away slightly but listened as he could hear them say that they were from the east and here for the festival this made the boys grin. feeling hopeful that maybe they could have more than just a drink tonight.

In fact, as Stephan continued to listen he heard that most of the people coming in were from either the east or the north. West was experiencing storms making them unable to travel. North was faced towards where war was brewing set in between they would never make it alive. they continued to talk and laugh but it made Stefan wish Robin was there too or maybe even Nancy. he turned in his seat, setting his almost empty cup down.

“I'll be back.” He said as he saw a woman starting to make her way toward him. Thomas looked up toward him with a confused look but nodded. He just didn't feel like indulging in the flesh. He wanted to find the carriage again feeling hungry now after his drink. All he had to do was follow the smell.

The kind woman saw him approach, already smiling at his returning presence.

“Hello, My dear.” She spoke, with an accent he couldn’t decipher.

“Hello. Um- one please.” He said holding out a few silver pieces for her.

She walked around toward him moving to the table where the freshly baked bread lay, taking two and placing it in his other hand. Not taking the silver.

“Please keep it.” He said holding it back out to her again.

“It is alright my boy, think of it as a taste test. please eat.”

Stephen took another inhale before sinking his teeth into the buttery confection. He moaned at the taste, flakey and filled with the sweetness of what tasted like fresh wild raspberries.

“This is delicious.”

She grinned with acknowledgment. As if she knew that was already correct. “Thank you, it was a recipe I learned from my mother and her mother before her.”

“Are you from around here?” he asked taking another bite.

She shook her head. “I like to travel. But I have been here many times through the years. May I ask, What is your name?”

“Um-“ he grumbled between another bite. “Buck- Buckley.” It was the only thing he could think of off the spot. He swallowed the rest of his confection and put the other in his pocket. “Why, um, did you want to know?”

“You just look familiar.” Stephen blanched. “Maybe my eyes are playing tricks but you look a lot like the king-“

“Oh, I get that a lot.” He laughed uncomfortably. His arm raised above his head to scratch at his scalp. “But I am no one really.”

Her eyes grew smaller as if she was trying to read his mind. He broke the stare by looking at a young-looking couple walking up to look at the baked goods. It gave Stephen a chance to step back. “I must be going back to my friends. Thank you again, ma’am.” The old woman patted his arm and went to help the customers. Stephen turned back as she was distracted to drop the coins back on top of her table. More than he’d offered before.

It was getting late and he needed to get back to Thomas to return to the castle. He walked down one of the alleys that he thought was the same one he had come from. they all looked the same to him. He could just turn and head back toward the small square since they had passed it, just head back to the castle on his own. He stopped and turned to go as he bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry-" he looked over to see that the person didn't even stop as they kept walking up another alley. It was a bit strange. It looked like they had red on their back. Well, their whole wear was pitch black, like some kind of costume, Ignoring him still as they moved with stealth and speed to what sounded like music.

The Prince's sudden curiosity got the best of him and decided to take a small detour.

“Just a quick look.” He whispered to himself. It might be his only night of freedom might as well make enough of it.

He spotted them again. And Red was right, from their hair braided down their back. Something that stuck out in the night against their black attire. Stephen snuck up behind in the dark following but kept back behind corners and boxes. A clash of glass made them both stop Stephen quickly ducked around to hide as the person turned their head in his direction.

Their face was covered with a mask. He’d seen masks before at masquerade balls, but those were normal and sometimes funny even. This one Was almost terrifying. It was a deeper red than their hair. The way it stretched unrealistically of anger in its face. The eyes are deep, dark, and expressionless. And with Horns curved up to the sky.

When the person felt that they were clear to continue on they moved. Stephen peeked around just in time to see them turn around a corner.

“Shit,” he muttered. Moving fast up to the end was a two-way road, one went deeper into the lower city while the other seemed to lead to a larger gathering of people in another square, closer to the upper city.

“Hm.” He followed the sounds of music and laughter. That must have been where they went. He pulled his hood in closer, coming into the crowd. To keep anyone from accidentally discovering that the Prince was standing with them now. However, everyone's attention was on the band.

3 males From what Stephen could tell more masks and the shapes of animals. Eye holes were wider in order to see the instruments they were playing. A Wolf played the drums, tapping lightly to the rhythm of the Deer playing the loot beside him. Last was a round Bear playing the recorder moving whimsically despite their size.

Stefan stood in the back, Back up against the wall arms crossed listening but eyes also drifting around to try and spot Red.

Then came the strings of a violin.

Stephen’s head turned toward the center to the figure standing atop a table for everyone’s attention. Wearing a puffy navy shirt, underneath a black vest of swirls of embroidery. Their black pants were tucked into long laced boots of what could have been brown, but from the many years of wear have turned a muddied dark brown.

Stephen's eyes went to the gloved hands of the person, bow moving rapidly. The person spun and was now turned toward him. Wearing a mask entirely of black, in the shape of a skull. Eyes drew him in tears of red as if crying blood. And with a wide devilish smile. Their thick dark brown curls moved with them. It reminded him of Nancy, except where hers were at her shoulders theirs was almost at the middle of their back. The way they arched and moved cat-like reminded him of a woman. Having seen many dances at court from many ladies and some men, it was still hard to tell dew from all the dark wear and flowing garments.

Stephen was so drawn in, didn't even notice that he’d made his way through the crowd to the table looking up at the figure. Stephen was enticed, attention captivated by this person. As they moved closer to him to his end of the table they dropped gracefully down to one knee in front of him. Big brown eyes peeking through the mask seemed to look into his soul and gave him a wink. It made heat rise to his cheeks. The person grinned and straightened, moving back to the other end. It snapped Stephen out of whatever had happened and stepped back bumping into someone, giving him an apology. The man ignored him. Moving out of the way to show across the way, a quick movement from a person in a red mask. Dipping into the crowd with now two other masked persons coming from the alley also in black.

Three different directions they went and Stephen watched Red stopping behind a couple. The drunk man pulled onto his wife as he swayed. She looked displeased with him but kept her attention on the music. The young person crept up and reached in behind to grab a small pouch, quickly putting it in their own pocket.

Stephen stood frozen watching this happen, eyes trailing till another loses their belongings not even noticing. All three of them were moving through the people who were only focused on the music. Stealing is still unnoticed. One mask, in particular, moved in his direction from his right. Unlike the angry red mask, this one was blue and sad. Pulling a long mouth as if you could hear its sorrows cry out. Still pickpocketing as they moved toward him next. Stephen straightened facing back to the band as if not noticing when a slight breeze came up beside him and the rope of his coin purse was suddenly being tugged. Anyone who hadn’t been paying attention like himself would have never felt its pull. Before the pouch was completely lifted, Stephen quickly grabbed the wrist of said person. Now clearly spooked and trembling.

“Well, what do we have here?” Stephen said softly, holding tight to the person's wrist as they panicked trying to pull away, and started to make a scene. Stephen grimaced as people turned to see what was happening. “Stop pulling or-“

Violin strings had stopped suddenly and it seemed like the light grew dim with its disappearance. People whispered amongst each other probably thinking it was over. But then bright sparks of blue light burst toward the middle and within its center a woman.

The rhythm of the music changed into a fast tempo. Blonde hair spun around as she started to dance. Her bright green dress flowed with her. She exposed her arms, shoulders, and partially the top of her chest. Revealing that she was indeed a woman. Wearing yet another mask, one more feminine. White vines with leaves sparkled in the light to show more of her face but not her full identity. She took the stage of the table where the violinist had been but was nowhere in sight.

The thief pulled Stephen’s lax hand from the distraction and made a run for the alley taking Stephen's pouch with them. Stephen made chase.

The thief booked it but Stephen closed in behind, catching them by the back of the shirt.

“Let me go!” Said the voice of a young male. Swinging toward Stephen and missing, tripping sideways and falling to the floor. His mask slid off to Stephen’s feet. Stephen bent to pick it up, turning it to look at it up close, taking in its fine details. Hand crafted and hand painted. Whoever worked on them was of true talent.

Stephen looked back down to see that the boy had moved against the wall, face turned down, legs curled into himself. At first, the Prince thought this could be a game to scare the young thief into messing around with him. Then Tell him that stealing was wrong and if he really needed help that he could help him. But now hearing the boy sniffle made the Prince frown suddenly feeling piteous.

“hey. It's fine. I don't wanna fight.” Stephen spoke softly, bending over to hold the mask close to the boy. whose eyes side glanced at it hesitantly reaching out to take the mask.

“I Just want to talk-“

Pain.

Pain erupted on the back of his head. And his hand reached behind to feel the wetness. He looked at his fingers with a bit of blood on the tips. Stephen swayed looking back at the boy who was staring past him at the assailant who hit him. The prince's eyes blurred as he went straight to the floor into darkness.

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie munson #stranger things

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sillypotcookie · 2 years

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They were deep into a discussion about how the taller one cracked a nerve in his neck during his renovatingwork in the upper rooms that day ...

Tooru: -and when i lifted that damn screwdriver it hit me like a lightning ... *he mumbled, more and more being able to enjoy the massage after the beginning was still pretty painfull*

Aki: *he snorted cheekishly up* .... pardon me but you’re getting old, that’s it! *he chuckled*

Tooru: *he made a low, unamused growl* ... dare you to call me old again!

Aki: Or what? *he murmured in a teasing tone before he put more pressure into his grip which made the older one moan up*

Tooru: Mhmmnnng ... okay .... just one more time but only when you continue at this exact spot .... *he moaned again* ... exactly like this ....

Aki: *he chuckled and leaned forward to Tooru’s ear as he continued as wished, grinning wide and cheeky before he started whispering into the olders ear* ... you’re ... getting ... oooooo~ld ...

Aki: Seriously tho, i can do those things too, ya’ know? Hanging up boards and shit, i literally made the last one you hung up! *he said slightly pouty*

Tooru: That may be but- *he couldn’t restrain an deep snort thinking about this perfect opportunity to pay the youngers comment about being old back* .. but you’re mostly too short to get there. *he chuckled*

Aki: *he froze for a second, was his shortness one of his top insecurities. But he knew the older would be the last one to actually want to hurt him so he continued with his movements and mumbled, yet still a bit pouty, back* ... yeah yeah, you make your old man jokes, sure sure!!!

Tooru: ... joke aside tho ... - *actually he was about to say that he simply didn’t wanted the younger to get on a ladder these days but he hold, overthinking how he could take it in a patronizing way and how this, depending on what nerve he might hit with that, it could quickly change the entire mood* ... actually, it kinda bugs me that you do more of the handywork ...

Aki: Why? Because you’re the big man here? *he playfully sulked back, yet taking it as a bit of a compliment that it would bug the taller one as indeed, in the beginning Tooru seemed to be not so well around handyworks and he could show him one or two tricks to get stuff done way easier than the older would have done on his own. Was it more the kitchen he clearly was the veteran in while this on the other hand was not at all Aki’s terrain*

Tooru: *he snorted* ... sure, why not? *a deep, satisfied sigh came out of him, realizing he took the right curve and could enjoy more of the massage* .... Misaki? *he asked in a husky, almost moaning voice as there was a short moment of silence*

Aki: Yeah? *he slowed down his movements in anticipation what the older one was about to say*

Tooru: .... just, thank you *he hummed pleased followed by a deep, appreciating sigh*

Aki: *he hold, didn’t really know what to say or do, what he knew tho was, that this short, little comment of the older gave him a warm and fuzzy feeling inside his stomach* ... i ... you ... you’re welcome! *he stuttered before he was already getting awkward again. Awkward about him not being able to react the way he actually would like, to tell the older one how happy this little sentence just made him*

Tooru: Aki? *he asked again as he turned around*

Aki: Y-yeah? *he now answered flustered, being not ready yet to face the man underneath him as he still was overthinking his stupid, awkward reaction*

Tooru: Stop overthinking, chibi .. *he whispered in his deep, smoky voice as he leaned up to kiss the smaller one*

Aki: .. i swear... - *he mumbled into the kisses* ... i try- *he decided to stop talking, stop worrying, stop thinking in general for this moment and gave into enjoying the soft kisses*

Tooru: .. then try harder ...- *was the last murmed thing Tooru said before he pulled the younger down into a deeper kiss*

#ts3 #sims3 #simblr #Tooru Shun Niimura #Aki Ryan #... should i tag those background thingy now?#(@ u @''')#nah~#the lesson here's #stawp overthinking #right?#XD

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iheartchv · 5 months

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hello !! im so unsure if ur matchups are open— so if they aren’t, feel free to delete this 😅

may i request a 🌿🍒 cod mw2 matchup?

mbti : enfp-t

zodiac : virgo

——————

preference : male lean

(my) gender : nb, they/them

——————

personality: do lean more on the extroverted side of things, since i am more of a people person! i’m usually really easy to talk to, i don’t really get angry easily. if anything, i dont really take things that seriously and i think more optimistic. that said, i like to talk.. a lot. if i were to be in a relationship, i’d probably be the person who talks a lot lol. i just like sharing my interests and just simply share my thoughts with people. if my brain wont stop then my words won’t as well LOL.

i do often overthink, since my thoughts race so often. sometimes if i do go quiet, it’s most likely that i’m zoning out — simply being in my own thoughts and having my head in the clouds !! i simply enjoy just being.. well, me!

i’m an artist by heart, often painting in my room. while i do enjoy being with people, i also need to recharge often! since i do get tired a lot, it’s either laying on my bed or paint my free time away! it generally messy so.. i hope my partner wont mind lol.

likes : art, photography, the clouds, milk tea!! sweet things in general

dislikes : heights (they SCARE me), being embarrassed (esp in public), extremely spicy food, conflict and arguments

———————

aah thats all!! thank u so much in advance and im sorry if this is long 😭 thank u!

//sure thing 😊

I match you with...

Simon "Ghost" Riley 💀

I think your Ghost would end up falling for you

Though it would take him a little while to realize it

You knew however that you were falling for him

You wouldn't stop staring at him from time to time

When he'd look your way, you'd quickly look away

As Ghost got to know you, he'd find himself feeling more comfortable around you

He'd listen to you talk, whether its about random stuff or just rambling on about something back in your hometown

And whether he is listening intently or not, he's hearing your voice

Sometimes he just likes listening to the sound of your voice

....

If he would visit you, he'd look around and see your painting(s)

You show him one you've been working on for a while

It was a painting of a familiar battlefield with uniformed soldiers, and he spots him in the painting...

And you...

Flashbacks of this particular moment played in his mind

This was when you had gotten wounded, then he found shelter to patch you up

"I don't know why but... this day, this moment has just stayed with me... I just had to paint it..."

Ghost is silent for a moment

He doesn't know how to exactly describe what he's feeling now

"... it's nice. You're really good... I mean that."

Butterflies fluttered inside you

It was nice being complimented by Ghost

......

During Christmas time, TF 141 would have a little party of their own

After talking a bit with everyone you would make way toward Ghost

You felt relaxed around him even though you liked to get away from people when you wanted to be alone

Without noticing Soap would sneak up behind you both with a mistletoe, teasing mostly you

Soap had picked up that you liked Ghost

He'd unconsciously smirk and shake his head, give a small chuckle

Ghost didn't say anything, he just watched you chase Soap around, your cheeks dark pink and threatening to hurt him

.....

#ask #matchup #match up #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #//hope you like it👉💗👈#simon riley #simon ghost riley #cod ghost #cod ghost mw2

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stevensaus · 7 months

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The Extra Effort Hiding Inside The Autistic Mask

Quick disclaimer -- I'm not an autism researcher, though I have more scientific bona fides than your average person. Your experience may vary. As always, if the model I describe does not fit your experience, use a different model. Autistic masking is one of those things that regularly gets misunderstood. People will accuse autistic people of "pretending" or some other verb with a wide range of negative connotations. That misunderstanding goes away when people learn more about what masking really is... but I think there's an aspect that often gets overlooked. Healthline's explanation of autistic masking is pretty typical, and not bad: In places where the full spectrum of neurodiversity is not understood or welcomed, autistic people often feel the need to present or perform social behaviors that are considered neurotypical. Some people may also feel they have to hide neurodiverse behaviors in order to be accepted. That description, however, leaves out a significant aspect. That aspect is what makes masking somewhat different than "showing different parts of yourself to different people." Masking -- at least in my experience -- is more draining than simply using "customer service voice" or how you present to different social groups. It's the inside of the mask. At the convention, my friend said, "Well, I'm about to go get dinner." I paused for a good thirty seconds, then asked, "Are you excusing yourself, or are you inviting me to dinner?" I had no idea. Both were equally probable. It was a very uncomfortable feeling as I kept trying to figure out the social cues, and failed. But once I asked -- and got a direct, straightforward answer -- the pressure on my brain evaporated. Masking is not just trying to get your outbound social signals "right", but simultaneously attempting to decipher and translate everyone else's in real-time. No wonder it's exhausting. Postscript: I keep noticing my partner's faces. They are each a flavor of neurospicy, and have their own unique ways of stimming, regulating their emotions, and communicating. Every so often, their cultural programming kicks in. They apologize for whatever they were doing -- a hand flap, infodumping, making little soothing noises, overthinking. I tell them it's okay, and not to stop. They've learned that I mean it. That I do understand -- and if I don't, I will do my best to clearly say so. I see the look of happiness, of relief on their faces when I say that. And I wonder why so many people in their lives seem to find doing that so damn hard. Featured Image by Chen from Pixabay Read the full article

#autism #masking #neurodivergence

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milhazel · 1 year

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TW ED basically diary entry of v intrusive thoughts these may or may not apply to you and if they do I’m truly sorry you also have felt this way before plz take the time to focus on yourself and your mental well being <3

unfortunately my brain has finally become overly saturated with thinspo pics I need real life painful and traumatic encounters w skinny women to finally have the motivation to get where I want to be… I need a real life ed friend who doesn’t know I’m also struggling so I can go undercover n shiii. The thing is I get these everyday but the hate that festers inside me towards them because their standard is so excruciatingly hard to achieve that my ed flips a switch and goes hinge mode on me then I hate myself the next day fall into imposter fasting mode (only eating when no one is around to feel like I didn’t eat or make sure they don’t see me eating out of pure embarrassment) or genuinely fasting for a good max of 12-14 hours only to feel that same hatred again and binge.

like you know what I mean the pictures just don’t help me not binge anymore I always resort to feeling angry towards ppl who look like that and saying fuck them im eating yknow, like there’s a little voice in there fighting for me but it’s not the kind of voice you pity it’s the kind that’s desperate to keep you alive but you just don’t want it to it’s so frustrating I cant turn it off anymore without having someone say something mean to me or seeing other ppl in my life lose weight, I know we’re all supposed to be pro recovery but the only thing recovery has brought me is more pain and more grieving over my ed where I use it to characterize how I was as a person wishing I was that version of myself again with that same mentality, it’s freeing to know that I was once like that so in reality there’s hope that I go back down that direction, all I need is that silly little trigger that’ll eventually kill that voice and keep me from caring about being fed so often I DONT NEED TO SURVIVE LITERALLY CAPITALISM IS MAKING ME THINK SO HARD AN WHEN I EAT AND WHAT TO EAT NEXT WHY CANT I REALIZE THAT THE FOOD ISNT GOING ANYWHERE AND THAT I WONT DIE IF I DONT EAT EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY

I basically live w my bf at this point and never have my groceries at his place so I never rly ate around him all the time, but now I recently started bringing my food in preparation for being there for days at a time and it’s almost surprising to him when I eat, as if he has this notion that I shouldn’t be eating with all of this fake worrisome looks when I say I’m not hungry then not doing anything about it. Idk if I’m going crazy if I’m delusional or I’m just overthinking and being naive but I stg he looks at me w disgust and wishes he had someone more attractive, I feel like his friends make comments with all their single asses going out and fucking college whores every other day while they claim that they “like” this one girl they met and like spending time with her, sometimes the people he surrounds himself with disgust me and he doesn’t see a problem, either that or he’s just part of the problem :) irdk what to think anymore and Ik I’ve said this on here before while using this as my private diary but I rly mean it this time I don’t know what to think or how to feel I feel like I’m constantly being tricked and made fun of and judged and have expectations over my head that I simply just cannot reach with the mindset that’s growing in me right now and NOBODY sees this literally NOBODY then I get blamed for my lack of communication when it’s so clear as fucking day that there is no way all of what I endure is going unnoticed I just need to fast and turn my brain off for a while, reclaim the life I’m going for without naive respect for everyone around me to the point where I literally leave myself behind. I told you I suffered from bulimic thoughts and actions over the past summer and cried in your arms told you that I was lacking confidence and always feeling like a convenient option what more can I do to communicate this to you

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sidemari · 2 years

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May I possibly ask for some Scaramouche angst-to-fluff? If you’re comfortable I’d like to see a possible Fem Reader and he gets her pregnant on accident. She’s scared so she avoids him. I can imagine Ei or someone saying ‘oh yeah I feel a familiar power and presence inside her’. It’s kind of a dream I had but I don’t write myself lol. I feel like we see a lot of mean Scara but he’s just actually bitter, jealous and clueless? Hbfbfb anyway. A oneshot would be good but if it’s too much you can decide on some other format! I wish you well! Pls ignore if you don’t feel like doing this ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for your wonderful writing

• Promise •

An one-shot about having a baby with Scara :)

Character included: Scaramouche x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Spoiler from one of the Archon Quests of Inazuma, pregnancy mentions, mild angst-to- fluff, swearing.

Author's note: Heyo, my anon! I changed some things of the plot, I hope it doesn't bother you. Thanks for the love and enjoy <3

The three quick tests you made that night didn't lie to you. Nor did all of the symptoms you were feeling the three last weeks.

'Two lines... Two lines, fuck! No one can know about this, specially him'

"Hey, when will you get out of this bathroom?" Scaramouche's voice sounded almost irritated.

"I'm sorry babe, I-" He forced the door to enter the place you were in, but the door was locked, thankfully.

"Come on! You've been there for so long, (Name)! What's happening?"

"Give me five minutes, okay? And I'll be in bed with you" Scaramouche sighed in defeat with your line, coming back to his first spot to wait for you.

You took a bit longer than five minutes buy you managed to throw all the evidences you had taken some pregnancy tests.

"I'm back, Scara" You said faking happiness.

"You took ages inside that bathroom. What were you doing?"

"Nothing worth attention, Scara. It's alright, I promise" He scoffed your line, getting comfortable to sleep.

"That little light that comes from under the locked door didn’t let me sleep until now" He said bluntly.

"I'm sorry... But you will sleep well now-"

"I was only joking, don't get yourself worked up over nothing. Um, goodnight, I guess"

"Goodnight, love" That last word tasted bitter as you covered yourself with the blanket in that cold night of Snezhnaya. The night you discovered you were carrying the Fatui Harbinger's child.

'This was... A mistake, an accident' You thought. 'I took all of my pills and... No, I skipped some days because of how stressful my missions were that week' You watched Scaramouche as he slept with tranquility, such a different feeling from yours.

'I can’t have this baby and stay by his side. We never talked about having kids and... I was careless with my medication. Scaramouche will despise me and this baby' You kept overthinking, already feeling overwhelmed with the news.

'How will I even fake I'm doing ok for him and for the Fatui? I'm a harbinger too, afterall. I won't be able to keep fighting the Tsaritsa enemies if I keep this baby, it's too dangerous for them and for me' You tried to recall how many weeks ago you had skipped your medication at least to have an idea of how many weeks into your pregnancy you were.

'10 up to 12 weeks ago, next to Scara birthday was when I failed taking my birth control. How could I not notice I missed my period two times in a row? Am I so stressed out like this I left my own health aside?'

'I even fought for the fatui being pregnant. That's the explanation why I couldn't finish their enemies alone. I was already two months pregnant and already felt a difference in my strength. Now, I'm three months into bringing a baby into this world'

Scaramouche moved around on the bed as he slept, but you didn't get any kind of sleep that night.

The next day you felt exhausted without any effort. Yet, you and your lover had a dreadfully hard mission that day. That would be the last one before you break your contract with the Fatui.

The morning sickness was there, bothering you as you got ready to leave Snezhnaya to go to Inazuma.

'I can't fail now... I need to at least arrive Inazuma, that's for sure'

"(Name)? Why are you so quiet?" If at least he knew what was going on inside your mind or how loud your thoughts were since last night.

"I'm not feeling so well, but I'll be good"

"Will you be able to fight?" That line triggered your fear of loosing your baby because of the selfish desires of the Tsaritsa.

"If necessary, yes" You said without any confidence.

"It's always necessary, doll. That's how things work, right?" But you kept silent.

You had barely touched your breakfast when Scaramouche got ready to leave.

"We should go now"

"Already? But I-"

"We're running late"

"I'll eat something as we walk then" Some protein bars weren't the best option out there, but they were what you had in hands.

When would you tell him that you'd live in Inazuma from now on?

That you'd leave your life with the fatui and Snezhnaya behind?

That your relationship would probably end at some point?

"Scara" You called him on the forth day of your journey, after you both had reached the Minlin portion of Liyue Nation. "I need to rest... I'm exhausted"

"We need to keep going by foot now, we're way too distant from Liyue Harbor still. Besides, our last four days were spent inside a ship. How can you be so tired?"

You couldn't keep overwhelming your body like that. Even if you were in the beginning of your pregnancy, you already had been through so much those last weeks it was hard to believe your kid was doing okay.

"Let's keep going, then. I can do it..."

Scaramouche noticed that your behavior had changed.

You weren't like that.

You almost never asked for breaks, you walked faster and you could handle exhaustion perhaps even better than him.

A long journey by foot started and in some hours you both arrived at Liyue Harbor late night.

"Scaramouche, I really need to rest now"

"We have to enter the Fatui's ship now or else our mission will be a failure" He said bitterly, not wanting to know about your problems or how you felt that moment. Completely defeated, you followed him into the heart of that harbor until you finally spotted the ship.

Some minutes after the ship had started its journey, you felt weak and lethargic. Scaramouche finally gave you a close look after all those days. You were exhausted, your skin looked pale and you were sweating cold.

"Come here, this ship has some cabins" He said, guiding you by holding your hand. "You have been sleeping and eating poorly... You look almost sick" He helped you to lay down on the single bed of that cabin, before he could get real food for you. Not only sunsettia or berries like those last days.

But once he returned the cabin, you were fast asleep, leaving him with a guilty sensation.

Scaramouche watched you sleeping. Even if that was better than camping, the bed wasn't really comfortable. Caressing your hair, he admitted to himself he hadn't respected your limits, even if that was for a greater reason.

Something was indeed off, but the harbinger couldn't tell what was happening, no matter how hard he tried to understand your behavior.

In some days you were in Inazuma by Scaramouche's side on the mission to steal the Electro Archon's Gnosis.

It wasn't hard to catch the attention of the Shogun Raiden when one of her puppets was by your side, but no move was made from the both of you or her during one week or so.

"Scaramouche... I'll stop here" You said bluntly one night.

"What? Why?"

"I'll break my contract with the Tsaritsa once you give her the Gnosis" He was confused yet he wasn't mad with the decision. Scaramouche himself wasn't that loyal to the Fatui. He could always betray them for his own good. "Then I won't be able to go back to Snezhnaya again. I won't be welcome there. I will start things again here on Inazuma"

"Why all of this so suddenly?"

"I can't risk fighting with the Shogun Raiden herself nor I will follow you anywhere else" He chuckled dryly.

"So that was your intention since the beginning? Getting stronger with the help of the Fatui then using me as your pawn to guide yourself to another nation?"

"Scaramouche..." You didn't had the guts to say the truth. "I can’t risk to-" You couldn't finish your line before both of you were teleported to The Plane of Euthymia.

The Archon knew you both were at her nation and she knew your partner's intention with the back of her hand.

"Scaramouche" The Shogun Raiden said with disdain. "We finally meet again"

"After you disposed me because I wasn't perfect as you wished" He said back.

"But I see you now have your own ambitions and you even found love" She looked to you, but her eyes didn't carry rage or contempt, on the contrary, the Archon looked at you with admiration and curiosity.

"You're carrying a blessing" She said and you nodded, feeling too overwhelmed to say anything. "You're strong, but your health is now fragile and you can't risk loosing the child inside your womb"

Scaramouche was completely silent as his mind way too messed up to understand everything that was happening.

"Child?" The harbinger asked.

"Can't you feel the familiar power inside of her? The same power that once united me and you, Kunikuzushi?" The Archon said his true name quietly, almost bitterly.

"That's what you've been hiding from me?"

"She didn't feel safe to tell you so. She was and still is afraid of exposing the truth"

"Ei..." You called her by her personal name, thankful that she was saying the truth instead of you.

"You neglected her health and didn't respect her limits to arrive here and take this thing from me. I hope you know what do to with it, at least" She gave her Gnosis to the person who once could have been her puppet. "And I hope you treat (Name) way more kindly from now on. Afterall, she's carrying your son and she gave you a chance when everyone thought you were worthless" And with that, The Plan of Euthymia was dispersed.

"Scaramouche...?" You called for him, noticing you weren't in the same place before meeting the Electro Archon.

"I'm here with you, don't worry. I'll never leave your side, or his, for that matter" He brought your body close to his, hugging you from behind. "I love you both and I'll keep my promise of protecting you. I don't mind at which cost" His fingers softly traced patterns against the fabric that covered your lower belly.

You sighed in relief. You could finally count on him, after all that time.

#scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche angst #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin scenarios #genshin impact

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curseofaphrodite · 2 years

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Modern Art

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary: inspired by Reckless by Madison Beer and All Too Well. Angst because all of us have pain kink (yes I'm looking at you.) requested by @buckyjbarneswhore | masterlist

Peter had fallen in love with you even before asking you out. It wasn't much of a surprise, that boy was always a hopeless romantic.

He loved the way you laughed, loved how he made you laugh. He loved how you hummed the songs he never understood, your voice, your kindness, how you doodled nonsense on his papers, how you hugged Aunt May whenever you saw her — he loved anything and everything about you.

Then one day, he went to Oscorp. You knew he saw something there, but he wasn't keen on saying what it was.

That was the first secret he hid from you.

You thought you were imagining things. Sure, he didn't spend much time with you anymore, but he was busy. You told yourself he was busy even though the two of you had the same classes and the same workload.

You ignored the feeling at the back of your head, the one that told you to be careful.

————

"Hey, we're going to a party tonight. Wanna come?" Aimee asked, smiling wide. "Trick question. You have to."

"Then I guess I'll be there." You returned a smile, knowing you didn't need much persuasion anyway. You didn't have much work and anything's better than sitting around doing nothing.

"I need to do a beer count. Is Peter going to be there?" she asked, taking out the little pink notebook she carried around. You had gifted it to her on her birthday and she hasn't parted with it since.

"He's uh, busy." You were suddenly interested in the book in front of you.

"Oh man, you're dating Peter Parker?" One of your other friends, Mark, looked up from whatever he was reading.

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason. He's a chill dude. Saw him yesterday. He bought me coffee at Helsey's after I was drunk off my ass," Mark said, laughing. "Owes me skateboard lessons too."

"Wait, wait," you sat up straighter. "Helsey's cafe is near your house."

"Of course it is."

"Your house is nowhere near the public library."

"Okay...?"

"Peter said he was at the library," you said, sounding worried. "He said he had a personal project or something."

"Why would he lie?" Aimee asked, closing the pink notebook.

"C'mon guys, you're overthinking this," Mark interrupted swiftly. "In fact, I'm pretty sure his friend mentioned something about going to the library too!"

"His friend? He was with someone?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, Gwen Stacy."

————

"I'm thinking we should go to that little restaurant they opened up?" Peter asked, handing over the flowers he had hurriedly bought on his way over. "Sort of as an apology for my absence the whole week?"

"I'm not feeling good. I'd rather stay inside," you said, hoping you sounded normal. You put the flowers in an empty vase and threw the bag into the bed, then opened your laptop.

Peter frowned. He had off days too, when he wanted nothing more than to disconnect from the entire world for a while, but your demeanor said something was wrong.

You running through whatever you're looking for on the laptop and ignoring your boyfriend standing awkwardly near the door was the closest thing you had done to giving him the cold shoulder.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, sitting down on your bed.

You laughed forcefully. "Don't be ridiculous, Peter. Why would I be mad at you?"

"I mean, if you are- that's totally justified. I know I wasn't the most attentive guy last week. I blame it on my project—"

"Speaking of," you interrupted cheerfully, slamming the laptop shut and turning to him. "What's this project about?"

He was taken back. "Uhm, arachnology."

"Arachnology?"

"Yes?"

"That sounds like a question."

"I mean, yes. Definitely," he said, nodding. "I'm researching on arachnology. Why the sudden interest?"

"I feel bad for not knowing what's going on in your life." You replied, waving it off.

You had hoped he was a better liar, just so you could comfort yourself that it was all okay like your rose-colored glasses made it out to be. Apparently not.

"I appreciate that." Peter held your gaze, both of you knowing there was something more. Something he wasn't saying.

"Are you doing the research with Gwen Stacy?" The question had slipped off your mouth before you could think about it. He seemed even more surprised.

"Why would I study spiders with Gwen?" he laughed, not meeting your eyes.

The way her name fell from his lips said he knew her, and the affection behind it said he was fond of her. You bit down your lips and told yourself that you were being crazy. Friends care for each other, and you needn't worry about that.

If there was something going on, Peter's not the type to hide it. Then again, you thought he wasn't the type to lie at all, but isn't that what he just did?

————

The story wrote itself from there. So now here you are, alone at your birthday party, having everyone around you but him. You were pretty sure he had forgotten about it altogether.

When everyone left for home, you went to your room and swallowed the resentment. It felt like a statement on his part. He used to write little notes for you during class, with small lines that made you smile even though they were sappy. He said he'll never hurt you, but here you are, close to tears on your own birthday.

There was a knock on the window.

You didn't need to turn to know it was him.

"Hey, I got us pizzas!" he said energetically, then noticed your red gown, the slumped shoulders, the irregular breaths. "Y/N...?"

You turned around, wiping the first tear that had shamelessly slid down your face. The last thing you wanted to do was look broken in front of the man who broke you.

He took in your makeup, or rather the smudged edges of it. You looked so utterly strong yet cautious, as if you had just built a brick wall over your emotions.

"Oh!" he connected the dots, leaving the pizza on the bedside. "Your birthday- holy shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry—"

"Where were you?" you asked calmly.

He blanked. What was he supposed to say now? That he was so consumed with a bogus research that he forgot his girlfriend's birthday? Or the truth? Both would hurt the same.

"Gwen Stacy," you said the name slowly. "Why did you tell me you don't know her?"

He took a deep breath in. "I didn't say that. I just didn't tell you she was just doing the research with me—"

"If that was the case, why did you lie?"

"I thought you wouldn't understand! If I told you I had something super important to research with another girl, especially my childhood crush, don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten jealous!"

"Fuck you, Parker," your voice rose louder. "You know I'm not that type of overprotective partner. You know you could have just told me. But you didn't. Why?"

"There's a lot of compli—"

"Why?" The word ricocheted off the walls, making Peter almost take a step back.

"Did you cheat on me?" you whispered, biting down your lips so you wouldn't yell again.

"No," he shook his head far too quickly. Yet he looked guilty. You quickly connected the dots.

"Are you in love with her anyway?"

Peter's face fell. "I didn't plan to."

Tears freely started to fall now, but you didn't care. You took a deep breath in.

"You could have told me that from the start."

"I love her now but I loved you first," he said defensively. "I did. But then I was spending more time with Gwen and somewhere along the way, it just happened. I never wanted to hurt you, but would you really blame me for loving someone?"

"You're honestly asking me that?" you asked, your voice shaking. "All I did was love someone and where did that get me?"

"You don't understand—"

"What the fuck don't I understand?"

"I'm Spiderman!" He interrupted, raising his hands in surrender. He began rambling even without seeing your reaction. "Gwen works at Oscorp. She helped me. I knew you wouldn't have approved if I told you I was fighting for my life everyday. Not like she does."

You understood why he was saying that. Peter Parker was in his core, nothing if not kind. He didn't want to deal with how he hurt someone, so he threw a half-assed excuse at your face, hoping you'd agree and let him go. He didn't need your pain on his conscience so he resorted to wallowing through excuses.

Steady breaths, that's what he used to say when you were having a bad day. Steady breaths and a steady mind. Can't be all bad, right? I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.

Despite everything, you smiled. Steady breaths it is.

"I knew you were Spiderman, I knew it from the start," you said, almost amused.

He blinked, surprised yet again. Maybe he was more stupid than he gave himself credit for. After all, you were his girlfriend. If there was someone in the world who could figure it out, who else would it be if not you?

"You wouldn't have loved me anymore," he finished his ranting, desperately hopeless. "No matter what you say now, you wouldn't have!"

"I would have loved you any way you wanted me to."

He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, realizing he had just run out of excuses. Nothing to give, nothing that you'll ever trust again.

"I'm sorry," he said, genuinely meaning it. "I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. You are a good person and—"

"Get out."

"Let me just-"

"Get the hell out!" you pointed to the window.

He didn't want to cause any more of a mess, so he did as you asked, though hesitant as ever.

And as he climbed that window down one last time, you looked at the vase in the corner, the one which had the flowers he bought for you; all of them completely wilted now.

————————

second and final part here!

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general taglist: @sometandomstuff333 @cuddleluv @luvelyxp @violetrainbow412-blog @third-broparcelicito @wayvjinsol @dinfarrik @oliveoilthoughts @avengers-is-that-a-band @thankyouforanonymity @imabee-oralizard @agnesamarantheastwood @alexxavicry

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#tasm!peter x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #andrew!peter x reader #andrew!peter parker #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x you #tasm!peter imagine #andrew garfield peter parker x reader #andrew garfield spiderman x reader #the amazing spiderman x reader #astoria writes #angst #peter parker x reader angst

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