#it would have gotten too long and im lazy

[bulkhummus]

I'm so glad you asked! (cw for discussions about unreality)

A. It's been a minute since we had an actual villain. Most bad guys/conflicts get resolved in an episode or two, and it seems like Janet Lubelle and the University are here to stay. She is being worked into everyday life on the show and is directly effecting the narrative every episode. You can't ignore her actions because they're encroaching upon the town. It's new! It's different! And most of all, it's a villain that I can envision coming to a small town and disrupting the status quo < more on that later.

B. Stories get boring when there are no stakes. Welcome to Night Vale is known for its unconventional plot structure (ie. vague continuity and plot from episode to episode lol) because it supports the happenings that are occurring in the show. A problem with this structure can be the inability to create tension or suspense, or have choices mean something within a narrative. I'm so happy to listen to the comings and goings of my little favorite podcast town, and I genuinely enjoy the silly episodes, don't get me wrong, but it's not fun for a writer or a listener when the same stuff happens over and over and everything is resolved and happy. The mini arcs they write are amazing. The time to build up the space around them is equally interesting. Conflict is interesting. Drama is interesting. Making smart choices that hold weight/ value to them is interesting, and the show would not still be running if the writers were unable to create that impact in spite of a more freeform narrative structure. Why isn't Carlos helping? Why is Lubelle so concerned with doubles? How is this all placing strain on Cecil's relationship to his husband and his town?

C. The show has been running for 10 years and they are cashing in on that time and commitment. The impact of Carlos' backstory after all this time (equal, might I add, to his time in the DOW) is immense. The killing of characters we have loved for over a decade is harsh and feels unfair and heart breaking. Patterns we are accustomed to in the show are being altered. Things we have been led to believe are changing before us, and it's almost like we are experiencing them and these feelings in real time with the townspeople of Night Vale. We watched a love story centered around the fact that a man was new to town, and we, along with the town, were tricked into thinking not all strangers are there to do harm, until it was too late. There has never been a villain that has been sustained for this long without turning into a joke (ie. Huntokar, The Distant Prince, etc.) other than maybe Strex, and even that was not so encroaching upon every show. Suspense is building, who or what will be explained away next? What will that mean for the town and for the story?

D. Lubelle is a fucking villain. I have seen a few people say they dislike her character and while I respect that this post is about why I love her haha so stay with me there. You aren't supposed to like her, but not liking a character is different from thinking the character doesn't do anything for the story. She is endlessly interesting to me because of what she represents. She has stated her intentions, clear and clean and is operating under her own moral code. That's such a tasty place to be narratively speaking. So far, she is a well written villain. Not to mention her past relationship with Carlos not even being touched yet, and that whole can of worms ( the only thing being the implication that Carlos used to be her right hand man). To me, the best kind of villain is the one who truly believes they aren't doing anything wrong. She is cold, she is condescending and she is out to do her fucking job, and no one is going to get in her way. She is not there to take over the town, or end the world. She is there to explain things. That is her motivator, and she is literally feeding off of the town. She is the embodiment of normalization, of conformity, of categorization. She is looking at something that is weird and unexplainable, a big gray area, and demanding black and white terms from it. Maybe it's just the queer in me, and the queerness that is Night Vale, but god isn't that horrifying?

E. The characters and dynamics Lubelle is explaining away are still leading to more questions. The monstrous Station Management is no longer a horrifying monster behind closed doors, but we are left wondering just who has been managing the station for all these years (40 years, from 1983 to be exact lol they're so good for this one) if no one was ever in the office to begin with. There are layers to the unreality that is occurring in Night Vale. Time is still weird. They are still sectioned off in some way. Cecil is still caught amongst these intersecting time frames and realities. Shit is still weird. Not to mention Lubelle being there is coinciding with doubles, Cecils parents and childhood, Carlos' backstory, and time/reality weirdness. It's also so DENSE right now and I'm loving it. How is she gonna effect all that? Is she gonna propel any of it?????? She is as much of a tool to spur the stories onward as she is to disrupt them.

F. Cecil is being directly effected. Do you understand what it means to question the narrator? It's so easy to forget that Cecil is an unreliable narrator because we don't often hear other townspeople question him. Janet looked directly at Cecil and told him that he is disturbed, that his reality is fractured. We as listeners all know that, and Cecil sure as hell does, but he does his very best to avoid it. One of the main new sources in town, and the narrator of a show we let tell us biased opinions and stories as fact, is suddenly ripped out from beneath us like a cheap rug. His credibly is at stake here and this began the moment people started questioning why Carlos wasn't speaking out against the University.

G. She's so fucking hot. this arc and its potential is so. so so fun.

#anyways #so ill stop there #I didn't even include like episode specific “evidence” or whatever #it would have gotten too long and im lazy #I love wtnv #and I love janet lubelle #this arc is so so so fun for me #wtnv #welcome to night vale #cw unreality

[arolesbianism]

I love so oni so dearly but I can also tell that I am too much of a lazy bitch for this game sometimes lol. There's definitely a lot of features that I could make such great use of if I bothered to actually try using them but I will forever do things the more wasteful and inconvenient way because that's just how I roll babey

#rat rambles #oni posting #like with my glass refinery I by all means Should make a proper cooling system for it instead of just placing it under my natural gass #generators in a absolutely fridged area a decent way under my base and calling it a day but again Im lazy #look rime is huge and cold as shit it's been over 300 cycles and it's still fridgid everywhere except the places Ive deliberately warmed #so basically my water tank my farms and my oldest barracks and great hall #speaking of Im contemplating warming one of my luxury barracks a bit so I can plant some decorative plants #it would be fully useless to do so since the room already had well over max decor but also pretty room make me happy #oh and btw the cold is basically not a problem for my dupes anymore since I have them all in warm sweaters #I had decided to heat up the main living area while heating up my farms because at the time I hadnt gotten any reliable reed fiber source #reed fiber Is available on rime but even in the starting area its usually too cold to grow them #and I was having a terrible time hunting down the teleporter I found a water guiser and 2 steam vents long before I found the damn thing #once I did finally find it tho things started looking up quickly #and by that I mean the second colony was pretty rough for a while due to my limited oxygen generation options there but it worked out #now all of my guys on rime along with my two cooks on my second base have warm sweaters #I wasnt ecpecting them to work as well as they do but they rly do make dupes damn near immune to the cold #hypothermia only rly pops up when dupes stand in liquid for too long and even before I had sweaters it rly wasn't that bad #unlike heat cold is mostly an inconvenience in regards to dupe saftey #but as long as you maintain high moral and are willing to eat the debuffs that come with hypothermia its not that pressing an issue #the main problems that come with the cold are food production and water #water freezes real easily on rime and if you dont find a way to get a warm water tank then you will run out Fast #luckily I had a lot of hot water sources to pull from but without those I can imagine how stressful it could be to set that up #actually what am I saying I've had a frozen forest asteroid playthrough where my only water source was a cool slush vent #and it Was obnoxious to deal with especially since the polluted water comes out below the freezing temperature of clean water #I do like cool slush guisers generally speaking tho they make very easy early game coolant #just annoying to work with on cold planetoids

[elliesdoll]

pt. 3 to my angsty loser!ellie thingy 𝜗𝜚

pt.1 pt.2

nsfw! ellie cries lol, it’s kinda sweet? giggly sex at first, boobie sucking, ellie is kind of a weirdo idk… she makes out with your pussy, oral(e!receiving), fingering (e!recieving), squirt alert!, ellie cums way too fast, tribbing, desperate ellie like damn shes genuinely tweakinf. this is lowkey so nasty idk wut came over me

this is kinda long im sorry… AND NOT PROOFREAD im too lazy for allat. forgive me for any typos i will not be fixing!😊

daily click don’t buy tlou palestine mp

she had no fucking clue what to do. maybe she could pull her pants up and push herself through the tiny ass window above your shower? leave and block your number, move towns, and change her name. maybe that would work.

she shamefully pulled her sweatpants up and wiped her wet fingers on the fabric, then hid her face in her hands. what the fuck was she gonna do now? she was so sick, so perverted. all ellie could do was imagine you in your room right now, feeling so betrayed by your closest friend for being so perverted in the safety of your own home.

ellie was secretly praying to die right in this moment. she’d die happily, if zeus decided to strike her down with a lightning bolt and disintegrate her, right on your tiled floor. why was she like this? she loved you so much, she couldn’t help shoving her hand in her pants at the sight of you. but in a sick way, it wasn’t from lust.

it was from love.

ellie told herself she had some sick masturbation problem, and she probably needed to be put on some medication for being fucking insane. she just couldn’t help it. your kindness made her heart swell so much that it made her horny, in the weirdest way.

ellie had gotten horny from other things before, sure. but that’s all it was. lust. you, you made her horny in the same way that you made her tummy get butterflies. she just wanted to love on you. she had so much love and affection to give, the only way to release it was through taking care of herself, shamefully.

which is what led her to be in the predicament she’s in right now. she swore she’d never masturbate again, after this.

after maybe 10 minutes of sitting in silence, she decided to leave the bathroom. no use in staying there forever.

the walk down the hall to your room felt so suspenseful and wya too fucking long. maybe it’s because her steps got slower the closer she got.

she had already composed what she was going to say to you. “I don’t know what you saw, but it’s not what it looks like.” and go from there. But the second she entered through the door and saw you sitting on your bed, looking up at her with the most intense look in your eyes, all that went out the window.

“i am so sorry.”

she mumbled, her throat having this large, suffocating lump in it from the urge to cry. before you could say anything back, she spoke again.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i don’t know what i was thinking. i— im so fucked up i know, you didn’t deserve that—“

she continues on, her hands gripping so tightly on the bottom of her hoodie, to the point her knuckles turn white. she doesn’t even realize the tears that spill down her face, not until the look on your face changes. your eyebrows raise, and you look almost like you’re pitying her.

“els… stop that. it’s okay. you’re fine.”

you say, standing up and getting right in front of her. you almost wanted to say sorry for intruding on her, but honestly— what the hell was she doing that for in the first place? you didn’t pry, only wanting to calm her down.

“i thought we could laugh it off. yknow.. like something we could look back on and smile about. no need to cry.”

you say softly to her, using that gentle voice you had whenever you wanted to be sincere. you even go as far as to wipe some of the wetness off her cheek with your thumb.

you were so good to her. she should be relieved to hear your response, but she’s not. it only makes her more frustrated.

“i can’t.”

she looks down at the floor, unable to look you in the eye.

“can’t? can’t what?”

you’re confused, why can’t she just move on from it? you really wanted to bury this memory and stay the way you were.

“i can’t move on.”

she blurts out, a few stray tears still rolling down her cheeks. you just stare at her for a moment, and then it clicks.

“oh.”

you knew exactly what she meant by that. the poor girl, she had her feelings for you all pent up inside of her for god knows how long. you felt terrible, for making her feel even worse about this whole thing. but at the same time, you felt unreasonably giddy.

the fact that ellie, your very bestest friend, had such a big crush on you that it brought her to tears? how flattering is that? you always had a little thing for her, but you brushed yours up as some silly friend crush.

but her tiny confession made your heart pound like nobody has done before.

you grab her hands and lead her to your bed, sitting her down in front of you. you were gonna set this right.

“ellie, why didn’t you tell me?”

she looks at you as if you were dumb. why in the hell would she ever admit her undying love for her best friend?

“because you’re… i don’t fucking know! you’re my best friend nd’ i didn’t wanna mess things up— n’ you have those stupid fuck buddies of yours and—“

oh, the fuck buddies. you now realize why ellie was so quick to leave your home that day she showed up unannounced. the poor baby probably had her feelings so hurt.

“you know, there’s a reason i never actually end up dating them, ellie. that’s all they were to me. they didn’t really make me… feel.”

you say, wiping the tears off her cheeks with one thumb. the way she looked at you made your heart melt.

“..huh? feel what?”

she raises an eyebrow, completely missing what you’re saying. you laugh, covering your eyes for a moment. you forgot you’re talking to ellie. you kinda have to spell it out for her.

“dude. i’m saying that you make me feel.”

she stares at you blankly. she really is doesn’t wanna assume, too afraid of embarrassing herself. you sigh.

“fuck, ellie. i like you too.”

you’ve never seen the girls eyes get so wide. is this even fucking real? ellie couldn’t believe her reddened ears. she doesn’t even have the capacity to feel embarrassed anymore. all she feels is absolute, genuine shock.

“are… are you sure?”

she asks quietly, sniffling a bit. the girl’s nose was still running from her humiliating breakdown in front of you. you almost get pissed at her stupid question.

“yes? the hell?”

you narrow your eyes at her, giving her shoulder as slight shove. she grunts and shoves you back, playfully.

“i was just making sure! i can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”

“why would i be fucking with you? i’m not evil, ellie.”

she just shrugs, and lets out a slight giggle. she smiles a bit, wiping her damp, sticky face. god, how you loved her smile. it was the sweetest thing ever. both of you giggled for a minute, laughing at the absurdity of this whole thing.

after a few seconds of comforting laughter and smiles between the two of you, you realize ellie isn’t gonna make a move. of course she isn’t, even after that confession. ellie would never make the first move, no way in hell. so, you lean in and give her a quick peck on the lips, less than a second long. it caught her completely off guard.

her eyes widened so much, and her eyebrows raised so far up. you literally saw her cheeks redden, like you two were in a movie. she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at you. a large, toothy grin right that made her cheeks hurt. she didn’t even say anything, just grabbing the sides of your face and bringing you in for a kiss again.

she kisses so hard. her lips push against yours, you could feel her smiling against your mouth. she pulls apart for a second, just looking at you. then, she moves right back in.

the kiss is softer this time, more passionate. in ellie’s mind, she was gonna do this right. she’s gone over in her head thousands of times what she would do if she got to kiss you, to make love with you. she couldn’t mess this up.

you two make out for a bit, the smacking noises from the kissing makes your head feel fuzzy. you’re still pretty wet, from the kissing and the sight you saw earlier. after you pull away from her lips for some air, you give her this look. you want more.

“is.. is this okay?”

ellie asks, slowly kissing your neck and stopping just to look at your reaction. you smile and nod, finding her mannerisms to be too fucking cute. she was so eager.

ellie was in heaven. your skin tasted so good, and you smelled like you. her favorite scent. she peppered kisses over every square inch of your neck and shoulders, her hands resting on your hips. she didn’t dare move your top though, too scared to initiate it.

you slowly moved her shaky, clammy hands to the bottom of your little top, letting her grab it and guiding her hands upwards. you whispered to her in a reassuring tone.

“els, it’s okay.”

she just looks at you, pupils blown and nods. she slowly pulled your top off and over your head, letting your tits spill out right in front of her. of course she noticed you weren’t wearing a bra the second she came over, but it still took her breath away.

“holy fuck.”

she muttered, staring right at your tits. they’re better than she imagined. and she imagined them to be the most perfect tits ever. she couldn’t help herself, poor baby. she just had to lean in and take one of your nipples into her mouth. her left hand flew to your other breast, kneading the soft flesh.

the quick action made you gasp lightly, letting out a tiny whine at the feeling of her teeth nipping at your skin. she was tasting you. you felt her warm face press against your skin, as if she was trying to suffocate herself. you got a bit worried, so you tapped her cheek.

“e-els, you gotta breathe—“

you were cut off by her lips popping off your breast, a string of saliva connecting your nipple to her lips. she murmured a quiet “fuck me,” and immediately went to your other nipple, repeating the same motion.

your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. how the fuck was she so good with her tongue? the way she eagerly licked over your nipples until they hardened in her mouth, nipping at them softly. literally eating your fucking tits right in front of you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful. so so beautiful.”

ellie mumbles to you, forcing herself to get off your boobs. she could spend the rest of her life right there, but there was more to tend to. her hands went to the hem of your shorts, looking at you for permission.

as much as you wanted to say yes and let her do whatever the hell she wanted, you wanted to see her even more. you tug lightly on her hoodie, giving her a gentle smile.

“take this off first?”

say less. say fucking less, is all ellie thought. she stuttered out a quiet “okay, okay,” and nodded, messily pulling her hoodie off of her. you giggled as it got stuck on her head, and it made her giggle along with you. neither of you could stop laughing at any little thing the other one did.

you sighed at the sight of her in her sports bra and sweats, but you wanted that shit off too. ellie wasted no time either, immediately pulling off her sports bra. you didn’t even get to admire her beautiful tits before you saw her pulling her sweats off and kicking them to the side, leaving her in her spongebob boxers. they had spongebob printed all over them.

“interesting fashion choice,”

you said through a laugh, and ellie just smiled awkwardly. she would’ve chosen a different pair if she knew she was gonna do this. fuck her stupid past self for buying that pack of spongebob-themed boxers at spencer’s a few months ago.

“god, don’t look.”

she muttered, moving closer and kissing you again. you kissed back softly, still giggling a bit. nobody made you laugh as effortlessly as she did. her thumbs hooked around the soft fabric of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go.

all the words ellie wanted to say died in her mouth. she laid down between your thighs and was face to face with your pussy. your pussy. she thought she was going to faint, she swore she felt her vision going.

gorgeous, that’s the only word to describe you. you were absolutely soaked, your slick making your puffy pussy lips shine and look tantalizingly supple. your swollen clit, and those gorgeous folds. somebody pinch her.

the scent of your arousal filled her nostrils, and she moaned. a deep, guttural moan from the pit of her stomach, just by smelling you. your cheeks were so warm, as you lifted your head to peek down at her. you were gonna say something, but your throat closed on you the second her lips touched your cunt.

this, this was new. ellie had her nose and mouth shoved deep into your cunt, your wetness and warmth englufing her. you expected to feel her tongue push out her lips and onto you, but no. the first thing you felt was her inhaling. her nose sniffed your pussy so deeply, you fucking heard it. you looked down, confused, seeing a half-lidded ellie groan as she inhaled your scent. you didn’t say anything, literally just watching. nobody’s ever gotten off to your scent before, like ever. but shit, it turned you on way too much.

she mumbled something incomprehensible against your pussy, then slowly, languidly, started lapping at your cunt. her tongue pushing through your dripping folds and collecting every single drop of slick you had, and fucking swallowing it. swallowing after every couple of licks. you moaned, because what the actual fuck.

how did she make this so fucking hot?

it felt so good, but it wasn’t enough to make you cum. it was too slow. your hips greedily moved and pushed against her lips, but she didn’t increase her pace one bit. she was clearly doing this for her own pleasure. too pussydrunk to care. her eyelids were so low, but you saw her staring at you the entire time she ate you out. like clockwork, her tongue dipping into your hole, drinking you up like you were liquid gold.

after hearing enough of your desperate whines for more, she slowly moved herself up, the lower half of her face was completely drenched. she kissed the soft mound of your cunt, then up your tummy, through the valley of your breasts, and finally slowly kissed your lips again. tasting yourself on her tongue made you feel brain dead.

“eat my pussy, please…”

she murmured against your lips, giving you the tiniest peck on your mouth after she spoke. since when did she get so bold? it made you embarrassingly wet.

who were you to say no to her?

you simply nodded, and gently pushed her to the side so she could lay down on her back. you immediately got between her legs, as she planted her feet on the mattress. shit, she was so eager.

she lifted her butt and chuckled quietly as you pulled off her silly boxers. once they’re off, you’re met with the most beautiful sight. her auburn bush, decorating her cunt so delicately. it made your mouth pool with saliva. her pretty, red and needy clit poking out, just begging to be touched. she was so wet. you don’t think you’ve ever seen a cunt dripping this much before. she was already clenching in and out softly, drops of arousal leaking out of her and forming a tiny droplet on your bedsheets. you could’ve came from the sight.

“how long have you been wanting this?”

you ask her quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to her clit. her hips bucked into your face, and you smiled.

“ssss—so fucking long. needed you from the start… fucked myself to you s’much…”

she just kept spilling her guts to you, just trying to get you to put your fucking mouth on her cunt. your fidgety, nervous ellie that you knew turned into a completely shameless slut for you.

“yeah? you could’ve told be earlier, els.”

you tease her lightly, and she just whines desperately. you decide not to deprive her any longer, and lick a long stripe up her soaked pussy. she groans, hands flying to your hair and gripping it. your tongue licked over her clit, making her hips jolt upwards and further into your face. you had her a mess, babbling anything through grunts.

“mmh, so good…”

“jjjust like that, fuck me…”

“i-i love you. love you s’fuckin much,”

you kept sucking on her clit, letting her hips grind against your lips to her hearts desire. your left hand went to hold hers, your fingers being gripped so tightly that you felt your knuckles pop.

your right hand went straight to her pussy, unlatching your mouth from her clit so you can gather some wetness on your fingers. she groaned, and you slowly pushed in your middle and ring finger once they were slick enough. your lips went right back to her clit, sucking and licking on it again.

you got a good two pumps into her cunt before you felt them being squeezed tightly, and her voice suddenly turning high pitched and whiny.

“oh fuck!!— m’cuh.. cumminggg…”

she said quite loudly, and before you could even register what she was saying, you felt a large spurt of liquid splash onto your face. you slowly kept pumping your fingers, taking your mouth away as she literally drenched your entire face with her very theatrical squirt.

she squirted on you after only a minute.

you blinked, slowly pulling your fingers out of her and letting her catch her breath. once she regained most of her sanity from that, the humiliation set in.

she wasn’t supposed to cum that fast.

“oh shit, i’m sorry. i didn’t think… fuck.”

she said a breathlessly, looking down at your drenched face. she was so embarrassed, cumming pathetically fast. she wasn’t even properly fingered and she already made a mess all over you and your poor bed. but honestly, you didn’t care.

“ellie. that was probably the hottest thing you could’ve done.”

you smile at her, sitting up and wiping your face a bit, licking the residue off your hand. you give her a soft kiss on the lips, getting ready to settle next to her. but ellie has a different plan in mind.

“wait, i wanna make you cum.”

she’s shy with her words, as if she wasn’t slutting herself out for you less than a minute ago. she sits up, not letting you turn down her offer. she wants to make you feel good so bad. so, you let her do her thing.

but when she situates herself between your legs once more, lifting your right leg over her shoulder and kissing your calf lightly, you speak up.”

“oh, els. you’re not too overstimulated for that?”

you protest lightly, not wanting her to push herself. she shakes her head, not wanting to back down from this. this is what she’s wanted for so long. to make love to you, in the most intimate way possible.

“let me do this for you, please.”

her voice is soft and desperate, practically begging you. how could you turn down that offer. you smile warmly at her, and she takes it as your green light. she whispers a tiny “i love you” before lowering her sopping cunt and slotting it right against yours.

euphoric. mind fucking blowing. both you and ellie gasped at the sensation. your sticky, warm pussies pushed up against each other felt so good. you let out a slightly strained moan, and ellie slowly started to move her hips in a rhythm against yours. poor baby couldn’t even focus on her overstimulated clit— she was desperate to make you cum. and it felt way too good.

“oh, right there.. so good ellie.”

you let out a string of praises to her, and she just kept moving. the sloshing noises of your cunts mashed together was mind numbing. ellie definitely wanted to cry.

the way you two made love was so intimate. she felt so connected to you, no words could describe it. she started at your face with a fucked out expression, continuing the movement of her hips.

“gon…gonna cum, els…”

you warn her, and she keeps going. her hand grips onto your leg so tightly, fucking her cunt onto yours so deliciously.

“i know baby, i know. m’close too. gonna cum with you, okay?”

she rambles, voice unstable and shaky as you both reach your breaking point. you nod and keep whining broken parts of her name, your nails digging into her forearm.

with one last thrust, you two cum basically at the same time, your cunts leaking onto each other. she keeps moving her hips slowly until the overstimulation sets in, which forces her to pull away from you, her weak body plopping right down next to yours.

both of you lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying your post-orgasm bliss. ellie’s hand snakes back over to yours, and your fingers immediately intertwine the second they touch. she looked at you with all the love in the world. and of course, you did the same right back at her.

she was still your best friend though, so you had to push her around just a bit.

“so, you wanna tell me why you own spongebob boxers?”

ellie smiles and shoves you lightly. yeah, she was so in love with you.

Ok baiii i hope u guys liked it! :3 i can’t tell if im satisfied with it but i tried… sending love xoxo

taglist: @lil-elliesgf @a-little-bit-of-everybody 🩷

#dolly’s stuff 𝜗𝜚 #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #lesbian #wlw #tlou2 #ellie x reader #tlou part 2 #ellie x fem reader #loser ellie #the last of us #ellie smut #i’m sleepy

[kurorama]

Passionfruit

Mob!Bucky Barnes x Wife!reader

IN WHICH you spend a well deserved lazy day with your mafia husband and son… plus Bucky getting a little handsy.

Warnings: suggestive, breastfeeding, allusions to smut.

A/N: after nearly 2 whole months of not posting…IM BAAAACK😋 albeit this isn’t anything big, it’s still something considering the massive writers block i’ve been facing😭.

The mafia life wasn’t exactly what you had expected when you’d gotten affiliated with Bucky. 

On TV, it was gruesome, it was dark, it was scary - and not to forget, it was all the more sexy. Except as of right now, you could’ve concluded that it wasn’t necessarily always that way. There was nothing gruesome and scary in the way your husband was laying his head submissively on your chest as he slept the lazy morning away, his metallic arm thrown protectively over your stomach. 

There was nothing dark about the way your baby’s colourful crib laid by the end of your shared bed, a request from the infamous Bucky himself as he claimed that his lifestyle was far too dangerous to have the baby sleeping in his own room for now. In fact he was nothing but a liar, and a softie, because even the people who reside out of state know of the many guards that pass their nights with open eyes to guard the Barnes mansion. 

For all, there was nothing sexy with the way you were spread out ungraciously upon the huge bed. As much as you could with the huge man that laid heavily upon your chest, you spread out your limbs for the comfort of it all. Your hair was a mess upon the silky material of your pillow, a face clean of any makeup twisting with grogginess. There was anything but sexiness with the way your cotton panties hugged your hips comfortably, an even less-sexy pattern adorning the soft fabric. 

The natural warmth of Bucky’s body seeped through the thin fabric of the shirt that you’d stolen from him, and it made you want to dig yourself impossibly further into him. It wasn’t long before the early morning sun rays began shining through the cracks of the expensive curtains, interrupting your little moment of staring at your husband’s fine features. He looked so cute like this, face free of any worries as he slept cosily on your chest. 

The feeling of his grip tightening around your waist was more than enough to alert you that your ‘scary’ husband had just woken up, and the kisses that he was planting across your collarbones were more of an indication. There was no need for any words as you both laid in silence, your hands intertwining in the bush of brown hair that laid atop his head. Oh and how much you loved those curls, the way they’d drip with excess water as he came fresh from a warm shower, or the way your fingers would pull at them mercilessly as his face laid buried in between your thighs- 

Bucky’s hand began exploring despite the early hour, and the silent state of the room. His vibranium hand caressed your clothed side before slipping under the hem of your shirt. You flinched at the freezing feeling of his cold fingers upon your warm skin, but the way his thumb was rubbing loving circles into your skin was enough to send warmth spiralling back into your body. You felt your chest vibrating curtly as Bucky chuckled at the way you flinched under his freezing touch, and you playfully slapped at the back of his head, your own quiet laughter rebounding across the closed walls of your shared room. 

Your laughter was quick to cease as you felt Bucky’s fingers slip smoothly beyond the elastic band of your cotton panties, the feeling of his cool fingers making your shiver this time. You had to force your bottom lip by biting harshly down onto it to stop yourself from making noise, because god forbid you accidently awakened the little monster sleeping at the end of your bed.

He teased, and the smirk that laid upon his face told you so. The calloused fingertips beyond your waistline did nothing but rub senseless circles into the skin, not using those skilled fingers in the way you wanted him to. 

“Stop teasing already, it’s way too early for that.” 

you grumbled, and the chuckle that escaped your husband once more felt shaky upon your chest. You nearly let out a pathetic whine as you felt his large fingers retracing their steps back out, the elastic band of your panties snapping against your skin in dismay. However, it was a whole other story when you felt Bucky moving to sit up, a large hand resting upon your waist as he ushered you up to join him. His necklace clanged against his torso as he did so, the white wolf pendant sitting comfortably with the new position on his chest. 

With no hesitation, you did so, and his hands immediately started roaming your body once more as he laid them upon your delicate skin. Your face was buried in his neck as you sat up properly in his lap, thick and muscular thighs serving you as a seat. You closed your eyes as you felt his hand slipping under your shirt, head thrown back in bliss as his lips found the crevice of your neck. 

It felt almost too good to be true. A little moment shared between the both of you in perfect silence on a day filled with nothing more but slumber and laziness. Bucky felt like he was dreaming, almost like this late morning was going all too fine, and that in a normal scenario there should be something just about the moment that came to ruin the- 

Jinxed it, and if only you could read your husband's thoughts, Bucky knew that you’d make him sleep with the strays outside tonight. It was nothing else but his fault for the sudden shrill cries that resonated round the entire room. You felt your husband’s lips suddenly detaching from your neck, the area darkening by the second thanks to his skilled mouth. 

You had to physically retain yourself from laughing at your husband’s uttered ‘fuck’s sake’ in all the disappointment of your baby’s sudden awakening. Successfully ruining the little moment that you shared. Or that you were about to share, it was like much had had the time to happen anyway. 

“You’re gonna go say goodmorning to your son?” you tease, throwing your arms around Bucky’s neck as you stared into his blue iris. He glared at you for a second before his gaze softened, and he fell into the satirical state that you found yourself in.

“Absolutely no way malyshka, you know I had to tend to his tantrum yesterday while you were sleeping your ass off in the comfort of our mattress.” he laughed off in all playfulness, his hands tightening their grip around your waist as he spoke. You couldn’t find it in yourself to feel offended, because who was he kidding? You knew that Bucky would treat your son’s undying tantrums forever if it meant that you’d catch a little extra sleep. He’d do anything for the both of you, the two people who’d changed his life forever. 

The screams only got louder by the second, a stark reminder to break off your little romantic moment with Bucky and go tend to that little monster. Unhooking your limbs from Bucky’s, the brunette watched attentively as you made your way towards the maple crib. Just the best for your baby, even if he was far too young to comprehend the quality of the life that was being given to him. 

You waste no time diving for your son, a tiny human that fits perfectly in your arms. Enamoured as he already was, Bucky watched as all it took from you was a couple of coos and a few seconds of swaying the both of you from side to side to calm your wailing son down. Truly a momma’s boy, just like his father. 

Tiny fists closed in on the collar of your shirt with an incredible force that had everybody wondering where babies get it from, a desperate attempt from Lev at pulling your shirt down. The sight sent both you and your heavily tattooed husband in a deep laughter, but you’re soon interrupted by crying yet again. Another trait that he shared with his father, impatience and the urge to have everything he pleads. 

There was a moment of silence as Bucky’s eyes laid straight on you, and the love that swarmed his pupils was not new. He often wondered late at night what he’d done in his previous life to deserve such love that you and your son provide to him, because he knew that the Bucky of this life didn’t deserve it. He was a killer, ruthless at that because his line of work allowed no mercy. His hands were covered in thick layers of blood and yet you take them in yours like they needed guidance. Maybe, he wished that in another life he could be doing good in any sorts of way, like that stupid dream he had as a kid to become a superhero. 

Amidst his little love trance, Bucky failed to realise that you along with your baby had left the room. The soft noises of water running was a quick indication of where you’d both escaped to, and he took no time with the rush. He brushed past the sheets that clung at his legs, the messy bed an indicator of what went down under the sheets the night prior after your baby had been peacefully engulfed by slumber. 

Bucky was a big man by any means, and the heavy footsteps that hurried behind him resounded throughout the entire room. Not to be fooled although, he could be all sneaky and silent when he wanted to, a true man of many skills.

The pristine white marble greeted him first, a shine he’d grown to love. There by the sink was you and the little lev, except he was far too entranced in finishing up the contents of your breasts to even bat an eye at his father. His free hand clung at your sleeve tightly as if to not lose balance. You moved in all your motherly gracefulness, holding your baby above your left breast in your left arm so you could successfully lean to your right to rinse your mouth after a quick brush. 

Bucky knew that you didn’t need any help, he’d witnessed the woman phenomenon of the one-hand-everything. His own eyes had seen far too many times as you held your baby, keys, a thermos and phone all in one hand while going on with your day with the other. Yet, who was he to watch his wife vie when he had two free hands in his availability.  

The feeling of his brawny arms wrapping around your waist relit the warmth that you felt everytime he would do so, and you couldn’t help but lean back into his chest. The tall brunette planted a soft kiss onto the top of your head before moving to his own sink, but not before opening the tub of moisturizer for you, your skincare routine retained in the back of his mind. 

You smiled gently at him as a silent thanks, no need for any affirmation when he already knew that you loved him beyond your own ability to. Your baby finished his greedy assault on your chest a few seconds after you’d finished applying your entire routine, and you were sort of glad when Lev squirmed out of your embrace and onto the tiled floor. 

Any plans that you had for the day, albeit being only to go to the kitchen to fetch some food, had been completely forgotten as you felt Bucky’s arms dragging you back towards the unkempt bed. Because yet again, no lazy day was complete without laying in bed for 7 hours just staring at the ceiling. 

-

not much again but i hoped you all enjoyed🫀 also for writers (or anybody)looking for moots, please don’t be scared to text me lol😭

#bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #bucky barnes x wife!reader #bucky x reader #husband!bucky #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #I NEED SLEEP #cant do this nomore #text me yall i dont bite

[mitsvriii]

"Nothing's New"

In which your partner is never going to pay attention to you, because they’re too focused on their dead lover

Bell’s notes: “writer bell goes too far with this fic-” im /j no ones gonna say that, angst powers pls work tho, like im asdlkfjawel;fjsd;jf;lska, i cant write dude, let me like, plan this out in my head before writing nonsense, LIKE BRO, feral over angst LORD, 100k likes and you get part 2 /jjjj, growling i love angst, MWHAHAHA, sorry ely, yuka, mhie, snob, and zee if you read this 😔😔😔, i listened to “IT Girl” while writing this 😋, got carried away with Ayato’s part oopsies, i believe Guizhong for the ladies but whatever 😔😔😔, cut out Wanderer & Childe in the end because i’m TIRED, not proofread

Story details: Ayato lowkey a bitch, scratch that highkey, reader has self-doubt, Neuvilette doesn’t mean to be mean he just ISSS, GUIZHONG DID NOTHING STOP MAKING HER THE ONE IN BLAME IN THESE ZHONGLI SCENARIOS, oh and I couldn’t be bothered with Xiao’s part like a quarter through he’s such a flexible yet straight character, it’s the way you can tell when I got lazy with each part, chance Xiao & Zhongli are gonna be ooc as i’ve never written anything but short headcanons for them before

Characters & Triggers: Ayato, Neuvilette, Xiao, & Zhongli;  reader has self-doubt, mention of death, mention of martial neglect

Reader details: female reader in Ayato’s part is explicit. female reader in Neuvilette’s part can be interpreted with the way you read it. the other parts, however, shouldn’t have a specified reader type. reader’s personality, race/ethnicity, height, physical descriptions, or anything of the sort is not mentioned. if anything is let me know and i’ll edit it. 

Ayato: No surprise the Yashiro Commissioner doesn’t pay attention to his new wife, the one that he didn’t marry first. You knew that he didn’t love you, and most likely never would because you were, in fact, the second pick. Actually, it was probably in the hundreds based on the amount of marriage arrangement offers Ayato had gotten considering he was one of the biggest figures in Inazuma. It didn’t matter, but he most likely picked you because your clan was a small one to put it lightly, so he most likely chose it, and you, because it wouldn’t be a hassle with the press. But of course, he would choose the person and clan that seemed, “easy”. It hurt seeing some of the people’s sympathetic stares, such as Ayaka’s, Thoma’s, and a few of the older women working in the estate. You got used to the lack of greeting from Ayato when he got off work, the lack of warmth beside you at night. You found it hilarious, although you were hysteric at the time as you had just found out that Ayato was off that day and neglected to see you, that he never, ever laid down in the same bed as you. It doesn’t matter no matter how hard you work around the estate, how long you sit up doing his work, which you soon quit once he yelled at you like a homeless dog, or even the distinct flower you made out of one of Ayato’s favorite sweets that he ignored. Not even a glance at your general direction, either. After a while, you decided to do some digging on his past wife, only to find out that she was in fact near perfect. Perfect reputation, perfect everything, to put it shortly. Shortly after asking Ayaka what happened to her, by pulling the sad, guilty wife card, you found out she was a victim of an assassination attempt that turned into a success. Of course, Ayato and his perfect wife would only be torn apart by death. It was poetic, and it made you sick. So what were you to do but endure the slow torture that you and Ayato’s marriage was? After all, nothing you could do could change how he felt about you. 

Neuvillette: The famous hydro dragon, at least to those who knew his ‘secret’. His past lover, unfortunately, died before him, no doubt to his immortality. Of course, you would soon die, maybe in a few decades but, hey, it wasn’t like he would miss you. You could only wait awake at night as Neuvillette went to fix himself his own meal, despite you staying up to cook him one and await for his return from work. It’s not that was the only time he never paid attention to you, after all the man had most likely been grieving his wife for centuries at this point in time. So what were you to do besides stay and watch this man be emotionally constipated around you? Why did he even marry you in the first place, then? It couldn’t be because his past wife resembled you, and it certainly wasn’t because you both acted the same. Was it because he needed someone to cling to? I mean, you weren’t exactly someone who seemed to not fit the criteria of a compassionate co-worker who would comfort Neuvillette in his times of distress. Did Neuvilette only come to you because you were his way of grieving? It would make partial sense, to cling to the nearest piece of comfort to help with the pain of loss. It made you feel like nothing but an object meant for his emotional wants, but in reality, that’s all you ever are and will ever be to him. 

Xiao: The famous adeptus long ago, had someone close to him. Shame they fell to waste during the archon wars, along with the other adepti. It was no surprise that everyone familiar with Liyue stories knew about the two of them together, which unfortunately included you. It didn’t pain you that much until your oh-so-loveable boyfriend got distracted by two kids playing with a Xiao lantern and one of her. After that, it only devolved into more. The lack of visits to your room in the inn, the lack of responses whenever you left your little notes for him near your meet-up place, and the extreme lack of thank-you-notes whenever you left Xiao almond tofu. It didn’t matter that you started to skip and completely ignore doing all of these things just to see if he would notice because the adeptus failed to appear in your room just to check in to see if you were okay. This behavior was unlike him, at least in the sense of him completely ignoring you. The only answer you could think of, that logically made sense, of course, was that he was reminded of his past loved one because of the run-in with the lanterns you two had while out in Liyue. So in terms, he seemed to disconnect with you because of the memories of his past significant other? You knew the adepti didn’t die peacefully, you could tell that much from the stories, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that also applied to Xiao’s past lover. There was nothing you could do about it though, because if you knew Xiao, he wouldn’t talk about her to you nor push her aside for you.

Zhongli: Guizhong. Of course, you were familiar with the name, everyone in Liyue was. Everyone might be a stretch considering the visitors and children, but the point’s been made. Morax and Guizhong were close. Close in a sense of possibly having relationship affairs but that was only explicit to you because of the way your lover would glace at glaze lilies. You couldn’t call him your lover, could you? Not with the way he would hum to the glaze lilies, the way his eyes would also drift away from you whenever you talked as you took strolls through Guilu Plains, and the way he would opt to tell stories of specific tales of his time as Morax, ones that included Guizhong in some way. It got to the point where you had to make up tasks that you had to do daily just to get away from the walks you two took, not to hear the different-yet-similar stories of Morax and totally not Guizhong. It was childish of you to be doing so, you had yourself convinced, as you couldn’t blame Guizhong for any of it. She had no part of this besides well, besides being your number one stressor for the past few weeks. It was tiring yet somehow for the sake of not wanting a glare or side-eye from Zhongli about his stories, which you never thought you’d get that tired of hearing, you kept your mouth shut, despite how hard it was. You knew it would only take so much more, though, before you said something about it. 

#astronetwrk #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #genshin impact #genshin x reader #xiao x you #xiao x reader #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette x you #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader #ayato x you #ayato x reader #genshin angst #genshin headcannons

[girasollake]

˚♡ ⋆two of cupsੈ♡˳

pairing: neteyam x fem!mangkwan!reader

!disclaimer! there is pretty much nothing we know about this clan but since i saw they are like ‚spiritual masters’ or something i thought i would use their name because it fits the story!

requested: no

type: angst/fluff

summary: (i am so bad at writing these) the reader is part of the clan you mostly hear about in legends, they are spiritually connected to eywa, more than any other tribe. she has to run away after the sky people destroyed her village and she meets a boy. his energy calls to her and she doesnt know why. both of them are children of clan leaders and both of them need to find a mate due to their age (both are around 18-20), they feel the pull towards each other and dont know that their fate was already written in the stars (its me, im the stars)

warnings: death of a loved one, injuries, mentions of blood and wounds, breakdown, grief, a happy ending

a/n: i hope you guys will like this one because i came up with the whole clan for the sake of the story lmao, but even if you wont like it i still hope you enjoy reading it!// gif is from pinterest, all credits to the owner!

word count: 5,818 

[there may be some errors, because i’m too lazy to check it lol]

╰┈➤ a little glossary:

*Faysawtute! Wiya! - These sky people! Dammit!

** Oel ngati kameie, Olo’eyktan, Tsahik - I see you, Olo’eyktan, Tsahik

***evi - kid(in an affecionate way kinda)

You weren’t sure how you ended up in that place. The last thing you remember is running away from the sky people who had somehow found your village, the screams of your people started echoing in your brain. You sat up and analyzed your surroundings carefully - the forest around you was vast and mysterious, you have never went into this part of Pandora before. You needed to find your friends, your parents, your ikran, but the only things you could see were trees and bioluminescent plants. A hiss escaped your lips when you stood up, blood was running down your leg and you noticed a big wound it was coming out of, a stab wound. All of this wasn’t unfamiliar, you have fought against the sky people before, but this time they were hungrier for blood than ever, targeting your tribe and searching for you. Your clan had knowledge others didn’t, your people had a special connection to Eywa which presented itself in the fact that your hair was white. You were hiding in the shadows, often migrating and avoiding direct contacts with others, to other tribes yours was just a legend. You almost never engaged, only when it was necessary, and even though you should have gotten rid of the strange enemies from the other planet – your father decided to keep moving and put the fighting behind you. You didn’t blame him, there has been enough bloodshed and there were only 87 of you left, well, now probably less than that.

‘Faysawtute! Wiya!*’ You cursed and pressed on your wound as you walked over to the nearest plant with long leaves.

You tore one of them out of the plant and used it as a bandage, as well as some small vines you found nearby. A faint sound of an animal could be heard in the distance and you were thankful you still had your bow and arrows; your knife however was nowhere in sight. You sat down on the ground, closed your eyes and pressed your palm to the ground, you needed to feel her so that she could lead you to one of the sacred places. A few deep breaths calmed your body down and you opened your eyes rapidly, your ears going down – you felt her. After standing up you started following your gut, you had learned to trust it as much as possible. You tried to stay focused on the energy flowing through your body as well as the one flowing through the forest, but those beautiful plants had caught your eye way too many times for your liking, causing you to lose that focus.  With each step you felt weaker and even more tired, the journey was taking too long, you felt as if you had been walking for eternity. The sun started showing up, soft light reflected in your sleepy eyes and something in the horizon suddenly caught your attention, you stopped in your tracks. A big tree, with white long vines and a strong aura you could see from far away - the source of power. You smiled to yourself and resumed your walk, you couldn’t give up now, she would heal you at last. When you finally reached the tree, you collapsed at the bottom of its trunk. Your hands took one of the vines and connected it to your queue making a tsaheylu. Your pupils dilated as the purest energy of all flowed slowly through your weak body. Next thing you remember was darkness.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

A sound of flapping wings caused you to open your eyes. You quickly disconnected from the tree and ran behind one of the larger roots to hide. As you were putting one of your arrows on the bow you heard the stranger approaching you. You stood up and pointed your weapon at them, but this wasn’t an enemy - it was a young Na’vi boy, probably close to your age. His bow was also ready to fire an arrow at you and you could tell he was confused too, because his eyes were scanning your body in a rapid pace. When you finally locked eyes, you lowered your weapon. However, he was still holding his up, cautious of you and your actions. But you knew better, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you; it was visible in his eyes that he was not a killer.

‘Who are you?’ He finally asked. ‘Are you an avatar?’

You tilted your head, confused about the new word he used, ‘What’s an avatar?’

He lowered his bow and hung it on his body, ‘Come.’

You didn’t move.

‘You’re Omaticaya, right?’ A question left your lips.

He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but he shut it just as quickly.

‘What’s your name, boy?’

He grimaced at the last word, ‘Neteyam.’

‘(y/n)’ You replied.

For a moment you were standing there in silence, contemplating if you should ask for help. After all, you had nowhere to go to.

‘What are you doing here?’ He asked suddenly and stepped closer, which made you take a step back.

‘I got lost.’ You sighed. ‘The sky people found my village and the last thing I can remember is running away.’ You looked up at the tree. ‘I woke up in the forest and followed Eywa’s energy to find one of the sacred places to heal myself.’

‘Heal?’ He tilted his head in confusion once again.

You nodded, ‘I need your help.’ This time it was you who stepped closer. ‘I have to find my parents.’

He nodded, ‘I’ll take you to my grandmother, she’s Tsahik.’

Your ears perked up as you started following him to his ikran, ‘Who is the Olo’eyktan in your clan? Your grandfather?’

‘No, he died before I was born.’ He got on his ikran and offered you his hand. ‘My father is the leader.’

‘Hm.’ You quietly said and wrapped your arms around his chest gently.

You started wondering if you should tell him that you have that in common – being future clan leaders, that is. You knew the pressure, the responsibilities, the expectations and you could talk to him about that, but you wanted to keep that a secret for just a little longer. You could feel his strong energy, there was a certain feeling of calmness radiating from him and you swore it called to you. You have just met him, but he felt like an old friend, someone you never forget.

The ride was pleasant, you were curiously looking around and admiring the view. You thought he would take you to his home, somewhere in the forest, because after all the Omaticaya were a forest clan. It was surprising to say the least, when you landed inside a huge cave in one of the mountains.

‘I thought you were supposed to be tree people?’ You furrowed your eyebrows as you were looking around the village.

Neteyam helped you get down from the animal and softly laughed, ‘We are, but our home was destroyed.’ He looked down. ‘I never got to see it.’

You rested your hand on his arm and rubbed it softly, ‘I’m sorry, Neteyam. I am sure it was very beautiful.’

He sent you a soft smile which you reciprocated. Your eyes were locked with his, but he broke the eye contact due to something or rather someone coming from behind you. You turned around, a man was slowly approaching you, an elderly woman following after him.

‘That is father and grandmother.’ Neteyam stated from behind you.

‘Oel ngati kameie, Olo’eyktan, Tsahik.**’ You made the proper gesture and felt their tough gaze on you.

They greeted you in the same way and then looked at Neteyam. You knew exactly why they were confused just like he had been. It was because of your hair.

‘I come from the Mangkwan People.’ You announced in order to avoid unnecessary questions.

The Tsahik walked over to you and inspected your whole body, especially one part of it.

‘It’s been a while since I saw one of you.’ She said calmly. ‘Where is the rest of your clan?’

‘I don’t know.’ You sighed. ‘That’s why I’m here, I need to find them and I need help.’

She looked at Neteyam’s father who gave her a firm nod.

‘You can stay with us child.’ She informed you. ‘What are you called?’

‘(y/n) te Magte Leta’ite.’ You whispered your full name and the woman gasped softly, but didn’t say anything.

Neteyam exchanged a look with his father, both uncertain about the Tsahik’s reaction. The Olo’eyktan made a gesture towards his son to come closer and he whispered something into his ear. The young heir nodded and turned his attention to you.

‘Come, I’ll show you around.’

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

After a brief walk through the village, which mostly consisted of you trying not to pay attention to the people whispering as you walked by, you arrived at what you figured would be Neteyam’s home.

‘This is where we sleep. There is not a lot of space but I can give you my own area if you want to rest, I’ll just share with my brother.’

‘Oh, no, it’s okay. I can sleep on the floor, I don’t mind it.’ You chuckled. ‘No, but really, you don’t have to give up your space for me, I’ll be good with anything.’

He smiled at you and his eyes followed your movements as you were admiring the inside.

‘Forgive me for staring at you so much before.’ You turned around to face him. ‘I’ve heard legends about your clan and I was surprised that..’

‘I’m real?’ You softly laughed. ‘It’s okay, I know you don’t see people like me every day.’ Your happy expression faded away.

‘What’s wrong?’ He approached you.

You sat down without looking at him and he did the same, ‘There isn’t many of us left.’ You turned your head to look into his eyes. ‘That’s why you don’t see us often. We always run away, hide in the shadows, we don’t engage in anything… I’m sure your grandmother remembers the times when my clan would happily help others when in need, but times have changed. All I know how to do is run away.’

‘You don’t have to do that anymore, I’m sure your clan would be welcome here. To stay with us.’

You lifted one corner of your mouth, ‘Thanks, tree boy.’

‘Who is that, brother?’ Your focus shifted from the boy sitting next to you to the girls standing in the entrance.

‘(y/n).’ You answered before he could open his mouth. ‘May I know your names?’

‘I’m Kiri and this is Tuk.’ She replied and looked down at the smaller girl hiding behind her leg.

‘Come here, I don’t bite.’ You smiled at them.

They carefully came closer and sat in front of you. Their reaction was similar to everybody else, their eyes weren’t looking into yours, but above. You curiously looked Kiri up and down, there was something in this girl you couldn’t quite put into words, a powerful energy illuminated from her body.

‘Dad wanted to talk to you.’ She said to Neteyam.

‘Oh, okay.’ He quickly stood up. ‘I’ll be right back, treat her nicely, she’s our guest.’

He left their home, your gaze followed him as he got lost in the sea of other Omaticaya people. Meanwhile, Tuk was still taking in your strange looks, a confused frown was on her face.

‘You want to touch it?’ You asked her and she nodded eagerly.

She crawled closer to you and started playing with your hair, ‘It looks like it glows! Does it glow in the dark?’

‘Sometimes.’ You replied with a funny expression on your face.

‘Can you show me? Please!’

‘Maybe one day, okay?’ She nodded in reply.

‘Do you need someone to patch you up?’ Kiri asked.

‘Sorry, what?’ You gave her a confused reply to which she gave a nod towards your bandaged thigh. ‘Oh! I forgot about that. It’s okay, it’s fully healed.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because Eywa healed me.’ You replied while taking off the leaves and vines, Tuk was still playing with your hair.

‘What?’ Her ears perked up and she sat up straighter. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘When I connect to the source, such as your big sacred tree, I can transfer Eywa’s power into my body to heal myself.’ You explained like it was nothing. ‘See? All good.’ You showed her your thigh which  now only had a small, faint scar in the place you were stabbed.

You looked up to see her puzzled expression and it took everything in you to not laugh.

‘You need to teach me how to do it.’ She finally whispered.

‘I can try, but it’s a difficult craft. It requires patience, meditation, and strength, spiritual strength. My people start training the moment they connect with Eywa for the first time and it takes years to master it.’ You told her. ‘But I feel that you have all that is needed. I’ll teach you when the time comes.’

‘Really?’ She covered her mouth in shock. ‘Thank you!’

‘It’s nothing.’ You smiled and looked over at Tuk. ‘Are you having fun?’

‘Mhm!’ She exclaimed. ‘Can I braid some of it?’

‘Of course.’ Her smile warmed up your heart.

It’s been a while since you sat down and had your hair done by anyone, so why not let the little kid do it? You shifted your gaze to look outside and saw Neteyam talking to a girl. A light clench could be felt in your heart, why was your body doing that?

‘Is that your brother’s mate?’ You asked and gave a nod towards them.

Kiri turned around to see who you were referring to, ‘He hasn’t chosen yet. Mother is expecting him to do that soon but he keeps postponing it, he says he has to be sure.’ She explained and you felt a relief inside. ‘And that is Nelao, mother thinks she would be the perfect Tsahik, but I disagree.’

‘Why?’ Your curiosity won. ‘She looks nice.’

‘She does, but I just don’t feel like she’s the right fit for my brother.’ She murmured. ‘Nelao overheard my mother talking about her being the new Tsahik. Because of that she’s so certain he will chose her that she doesn’t even leave his side.’

‘You would be a better Tsahik, (y/n).’ Tuk peeped in.

You tilted your head and giggled, ‘I would be, indeed.’ You paused. ‘And I will. Perks of being the daughter of the clan leaders.’

‘Your parents are Tsahik and Olo’eyktan?’ Kiri gasped. ‘Why didn’t you say it before?!’

‘I like being secretive.’ You smiled. ‘Revealing too much information at once isn’t a good idea, trust me.’

‘You can be our Tsahik if you want to.’ Tuk added.

‘Tuk! You can’t say things like that!’ Kiri scolded her sister.

‘Why not?’

‘Well, for once, she may already have someone betrothed to her.’ Kiri explained and turned her attention to you. ‘Do you have someone promised to you?’

You shook your head, ‘No.’

You wanted to add more, but you bit your tongue. Your parents have shown you a few young men to marry, but none of them felt right. You had to feel it inside and you couldn’t choose just because they expected that, it was your decision after all. And it’s not like you didn’t try, you hung out with some of them, talked with them, laughed with them, and yet none of them matched your energy in a way you longed for.

‘See? She can be our Tsahik.’ The little girl muttered and Kiri just rolled her eyes.

‘I’m sorry for my sister.’

‘It’s okay.’ You giggled. ‘Don’t be sorry for her, be grateful that she’s here to make your day more interesting.’

She smiled at you, ‘She sure is.’

‘All done! Do you like it?’ Tuk asked and showed you a few braids she had done.

‘They are perfect! Thank you ‘evi.***’ You gave her a quick hug to show your gratitude.

‘Kiri can you show me where you clean yourselves? I think I need to wash away the dirt.’ You turned to the older sister.

‘Oh my, of course! I’m sorry I should have asked you if you needed anything! Can I offer you some new clothes?’

‘If you’d be so kind.’ You smiled.

The three of you got up and you followed them hastily. On your way out you locked eyes with Neteyam who was still talking to Nelao, he shot you a quick smirk which made you look down and break the eye contact.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

After changing and cleaning yourself up you sat down on the edge of the cave. You were taking in the view unfolding in front of your eyes.

‘Where are you mom?’ You whispered and felt someone approach you from behind.

‘We have not had a chance to meet. My name is Neytiri, I am Neteyam’s mother.’ The beautiful woman spoke up.

‘(y/n).’ You smiled and bowed your head to greet her.

‘Can I join you?’ You nodded in approval.

She sat down next to you, ‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it’s extraordinary. I love looking at Pandora from above.’ You replied.

‘You have your own ikran?’

‘Yes, but I don’t know where she is. I was hoping to go search for her in the morning with Neteyam if that’s possible?’ You asked and quickly looked down. ‘Or any warrior for that matter, it doesn’t have to be him.’

Neytiri smiled sweetly, ‘I’m sure he would love to help you.’

You shyly raised your head and while looking into her eyes reciprocated the smile. For a moment both of you were sitting there quietly, enjoying the darkness with some glowing plants in the distance. Your ears perked up when you remembered a strange word Neteyam had said to you before.

‘What’s an avatar?’ You asked your companion out of the blue.

She looked at you confused, ‘You don’t know?’

‘No, I am not familiar with that word.’ You answered. ‘Neteyam asked me if I was one and I didn’t know what it meant.’

Neytiri roughly explained to you the concept of the word, she also used the term dream walkers. You also found out that her husband was an avatar before, which surprised you, it’s weird you haven’t noticed his additional fingers.

‘Your husband has a strong spirit, strong heart. I could feel it.’

‘He does.’ She whispered. ‘It’s late, we should head inside.’

You nodded and stood up to follow the woman inside their family home.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

When you woke up there was nobody in the tent with you. While you were stretching a big yawn escaped your lips. There was some water left next to you in a small pot, you picked it up and took a few big sips. You wiped your mouth and stood up to go outside and search for any of the familiar faces. You approached Neteyam who was giving some food to his ikran.

‘Hi.’

‘Hi, did you sleep well?’ He looked at you.

‘Um, yeah, it was a good night.’ You mumbled. ‘Are you going to help me today? With finding my ikran and my people?’

‘Oh! Yes, right, I have this thing here for you.’ He pulled out some sort of device. ‘This goes around your neck and this into your ear. Those are comms we use for communicating. ‘He pointed to the one he was wearing. ‘I’ll show you how they work.’

He installed everything on you and explained step by step to you how to use it. The whole time you tried to stay composed and steady, but his fingers brushing your skin were not helping. After that you both got on his ikran, the first place you wanted to check was the one you woke up at and that’s where you navigated him. You were using your memory and it was hard doing it from above since you were inside the forest while looking for a way out. Neteyam was patient with you, he landed a few times in the wrong places because you thought each could be the right one, thankfully one of them was. You got off the ikran and immediately noticed your blood on the grass. It was faint but because of daylight you could see the trail you were running through that night. You followed the blood with Neteyam by your side.

‘Mom! Dad!’ You shouted into the forest but received no response.

Suddenly a faint ikran roar erupted through the trees. Your ears perked up and you quickly ran towards the sound while making noises to lure in the animal.

‘Wait for me!’ You heard the man shout behind you, but you didn’t stop.

Soon you noticed something blue moving between two trees and you slowly approached it.

‘Ra’ia.’ You whispered and came closer to your ikran.

You noticed she was covered with a net and that was the thing disallowing her to move. You spotted your knife next to her and grabbed it to free the animal. Now everything made sense, they must’ve shot that net at you which caused both of you to fall down, you somehow freed yourself and dropped your knife while running away.

‘I’m sorry I left you Ra’ia.’ You whispered while you were hugging her neck and stroking her skin with one of your hands. ‘Thank you Great Mother for keeping her safe.’

‘Is that your ikran?’ You heard Neteyam’s voice.

‘Yes.’ You nodded. ‘Her name is Ra’ia.’

‘It’s suits her.’

‘Thanks.’ You chuckled. ‘We should check my village now.’

He gave you a nod and started calling for his own animal.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

The place was a mess. Your started to feel heavy when you noticed limp bodies of your people laying on the ground. You took a deep breath and wiped away the tears already falling down from your eyes. With each person you examined you felt your heart break even more. However it broke down completely when you noticed your father’s  broken bow, his hand wrapped around the weapon. You swallowed a big lump and took cautious steps towards him.

This can’t be real. He’s okay, he has to be okay.

‘Dad?’ You whispered when you finally reached his side you moved his body, he didn’t move. ‘Dad, come on.’ You cried. ‘Wake up! You can’t do this to me!’ You shouted and started shaking his body.

A pair of arms wrapped around you and started pulling you away.

‘No!’ You shouted. ‘NO!’

Neteyam embraced you in a hug which you were trying to break out of, ‘Let me go! He’s okay! We have to get him help!’

‘I’m sorry, (y/n).’He whispered and held you tighter. ‘There is nothing we can do for him, we need to go.’

You were crying your eyes out, your screams were stopping in your throat along with the tears you were choking on. You don’t know how long Neteyam was trying to calm you down, it could’ve been 20 minutes or 3 hours, you had no idea. His palm was stroking your hair and his chest was wet from your tears, but it was working, he finally managed to help you steady your breath and stop crying.

‘Can you help me bury him?’ You looked up at him with glossy eyes. ‘Please, Neteyam.’

‘Of course.’ He replied and kissed the top of your head gently.

There was a sacred place, a small tree close to your village where you would bury the dead. Neteyam helped you carry your father’s body there, you whispered a quick prayer to him and to Eywa. You connected your queue to the sacred tree and experienced a vision. Instead of seeing your father you saw your mother in some kind of metal home, perhaps a capsule? It was strange and covered in various plants. You gasped and collapsed right into Neteyam’s arms. You looked at him and explained where you think your mother may be.

He widened his eyes, ‘I think I know where that is.’

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

‘Mom?’ You called out. ‘Mom are you there!?’

You moved closer to the entrance of the shack and looked through the broken window. Your mother was nowhere in sight.

‘She’s not inside, do you know if there is anywhere she could-‘

‘(y/n)?’ You heard your mother’s voice coming from the bushes.

You moved closer to the sound, ‘Mom? Yes, yes mom, it’s me.’

Her fragile silhouette emerged from the plants and she instantly collapsed into your arms, crying.

‘Your father..‘ She cried. ‘He..’

‘I know, ma, I know…’ You started caressing her tangled hair. ‘It’s going to be okay, ma.’

‘You need to find someone to lead the clan, you need to find a mate, daughter. We have to find the others as soon as we can, it is the only way.’ She explained and looked up to rest her sad eyes on Neteyam. ‘Who’s that?’

‘That’s my friend. We’re going to take you to a safe place.’ You explained. ‘The Omaticaya will take care of you, of us.’

‘No, no, we can’t. They are going to be hunting us. They know what we can do and they don’t like it.’ She stammered.

‘They are hunting my people too.’ Neteyam finally spoke up. ‘I can’t guarantee you will be safe in our hideout, but going there is the best thing I can offer you right now.’

‘We have to go, ma.’ You helped her stand up. ‘It’s okay, come on.’

The flight to the Omaticaya camp was peaceful, with no surprises from the enemy, but you felt your mother’s broken energy the whole time and it was draining you. You felt her pain, it was mixing with yours and creating a dreadful combination. There was also her unwillingness to go with you so she complained for most of the ride. When you finally arrived you were greeted by Mo’at, who immediately recognised your mother. She took her away from everyone and they both disappeared in her tent. You sighed and turned around to face Neteyam.

‘Thank you.’ You said. ‘For helping me. With finding my mother, Ra’ia and my..’ You paused, tears were starting to form in your eyes.

‘Hey, hey, you don’t have to thank me for this.’ He took your hand into his, caressing your knuckles softly with his fingers. ‘I’ll help you anytime you need me.’

You smiled up at him, ‘Do you-‘

‘Neteyam!’ A voice called out which made him drop your hand. ‘Is that this new friend of yours everyone is talking about? My name is Nelao.’

She grabbed Neteyam’s arm and hugged it to her body. The sight made your heart feel like a needle was going straight through it. You told her your name and complemented her own.

‘Thank you. Yours is quite unique as well.’ She looked up at Neteyam. ‘Shall we go? You must be hungry!’ She turned to you. ‘You’re welcome to join us, of course.’

You shook your head, ‘Maybe later, but thank you for invitation.’

You started walking away and looked at the man one more time, to your surprise you locked eyes with him once again. Then Nelao pulled him away as they headed to feast with the others. You approached Mo’at’s tent in hopes to find out how your mother was doing.

‘We have to find the rest. My daughter needs a mate, we need a new leader, Mo’at. I cannot believe all of this is happening.’ You heard your mother’s broken voice through the thin tent material. ‘I lost him, it hurts so much.’

‘I know what it feels like. I lost my husband because of these demons too. Your clan is welcome to stay with us when they are found.’ Mo’at spoke up. ‘Accept our help, Leta.’

‘It’s not nice to eavesdrop, you know?’ Neteyam’s voice startled you.

‘And why are you not participating in the feast?’ You tilted your head to the side.

‘I just..’ He paused. ‘Can we talk?’

You nodded, ‘Why didn’t you tell me you are the next Tsahik?’

‘What?’ You asked confused. ‘How-‘

‘I overheard your mother saying it to you before, she wasn’t particularly quiet so it’s not my fault.’

‘Right.’ You gave him a nod and smirked. ‘Do you want to go for a ride?’

‘If I do, will you answer my question?’ He tilted his head.

You shrugged, ‘Come and find out.’

You giggled and started running away to get on your ikran. Neteyam shook his head and followed your steps.

‘Where are we even going?’

‘You’ll see.’ You replied and took off, the man right behind you.

Throughout the flight you were constantly messing with him, whether that would be shoving him from the side or disappearing behind a mountain to scare him. He was pretending to be mad, but you knew he liked it. When you saw your destination you increased your speed. He tried chasing you trying to outrun your ikran, but to no avail.

‘It’s even more beautiful at night.’ You whispered when you landed.

‘It is.’ He replied, but he wasn’t looking at The Spirit Tree.

He was looking at something else or rather someone.

‘Come on, let’s go sit under it.’ You grabbed his hand and ran towards the tree.

For a moment you were just enjoying each other’s presence and looking around at the bioluminescent grass, leaves and vines. Well, you were the one looking around when his gaze was mostly lingering on your form.

‘So?’ He broke the silence which made you sigh.

‘I didn’t want to be defined by that. You out of all people should know the burden this role carries.’ You paused. ‘All the responsibilities, risks, duties… I just… I sometimes wish I wasn’t next in line.’ You looked at your hands. ‘Especially now when my mother urges me to find a mate immediately. Someone to step in for… You know.’

He nodded, ‘Yeah, I know what all of that feels like.’

‘But I can’t just take anyone and I think she doesn’t understand it. I have to feel it inside, it has to feel-‘

‘Right.’ He interrupted you.

‘Exactly!’ You exclaimed. ‘At least you already have someone to mate with.’ You whispered.

‘Huh?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you talking about Nelao?’

You nodded, ‘She seems really nice. You should be grateful your mom chose someone like that for you.’

‘She is nice, but at the end of the day it is not my mother’s decision.’ He responded. ‘It is mine.’

He raised his palm and rested it on your cheek.

‘And I don’t want Nelao.’

You felt heat going up to your cheeks and his face was slowly getting closer to yours. The kiss was slow and passionate, but most importantly – it felt right.

You were the first to break the kiss, ‘Are you sure about this?’

‘Are you?’ He asked.

You nodded your head eagerly, ‘You know, from the moment I saw you, your energy has called out to me.’

‘My energy?’ He chuckled.

You softly punched his arm, ‘Do not laugh at me! Last time I checked, I was the one seeing and feeling what you don’t.’

‘Oh, and that makes me worse than you?’ He tilted his head playfully.

‘Yes.’ You giggled and connected your lips with his eagerly.

After a while both of you pulled out your queues and observed how they connected with each other. The feeling was almost euphoric, something you have never felt before. You felt Neteyam’s energy, you saw it so vividly in your mind, all of his good and bad sides, everything about him was in front of you like an open book. All of it melted into your own body, your own energy mixed with his as you became one. There was no denying that all of this felt right.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

You woke up in the morning only because someone towered over you and their presence was enough to awaken you. You slowly opened your eyes and you felt Neteyam’s arm on your stomach, your back pressed to his chest. When your vision cleared up you looked up and saw your mother’s angry face.

‘Did you mate with this boy!?’ She screamed, which made Neteyam and you quickly sit up.

Jake was standing behind her and guided her to take a step back. Neytiri was also present, but she was behind the two, a small smirk spread out on her face.

‘Answer me, daughter.’

You stood up, your fingers intertwined with Neteyam’s, ‘Yes, mother.’

She scoffed, ‘You were supposed to find someone from our clan!’

‘It is my fault.’ Neteyam spoke up. ‘I was the one to-‘

‘No, it isn’t.’ You shook your head.’ It was all because of Eywa. We met before her and we mated before her.’ You told your mother. ‘From the moment I saw him I knew we were meant to be together, his energy called me, it lured me in and I could not resist. The feeling was stronger than anything else.’

Your mother shook her head, but deep down she knew exactly what you were talking about. She had felt the same thing when she first laid her eyes on your father. She looked up at Jake who just shrugged his arms.

‘There is nothing we can do about it.’ He told her. ‘It is done.’

‘There is nothing wrong with uniting our clans.’ Neytiri spoke up. ‘I must say, I think it’s necessary. Especially in those dark times.’

You smiled at her and she reciprocated the gesture. You turned to your mother with pleading eyes.

‘Please, ma.’

She was looking between the two of you quickly and her gaze finally rested on your mate.

‘Fine.’ She closed her eyes and sighed. ‘At least it’s done now. All we have to do is find the rest of the clan, but I must say, the boy I chose for you will not be very pleased about this.’

‘Ma!’ You scolded her.

‘The boy she chose for you?’ Neteyam asked.

‘She chose like 5 boys for me.’ You chuckled. ‘But they don’t matter anymore, do they?’

‘I guess they don’t.’ He smiled at you.

‘We should head back to the camp.’ Jake said. ‘And please, don’t sneak out in the night, I don’t want your siblings to follow your footsteps.’

‘Yes sir.’ Netayam nodded.

Everyone turned around and started walking towards their ikrans, you and Neteyam following after them.

‘I knew this would happen.’ You heard Neytiri whisper to her husband.

‘Who didn’t?’ He quietly replied.

You chuckled and turned your head to Neteyam. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

‘Want to race to the camp?’ You asked and started running to your animal before the man had a chance to process your question.

He shook his head and ran after you. He would always run after you.

© girasollake, 2023

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you!! xx

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#neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar the movie #avatar the way of water #avatar #imagine #neteyam sully #neteyam imagine #avatar imagine #neteyam x female reader #fluff #angst #neteyam angst #neteyam fluff

[arthenaa]

a daffodil's camellia— ominis x gn!reader

summary: you think your purpose has always been to love him.

warnings: angst/no comfort, arranged marriage, indirect exclusion, HEARTACHE, unrequited love, reader is kinda a pushover but its bc of generational trauma guys !!! imelda is a great friend, the imelda bias here is unreal so sorry im just projecting, ableism behavior guys bc these mfs are too privileged, i am fr trying to break ur heart ig. NOT PROOFREAD im lazy.

note: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! i slept on this mb,,,,, the angst ominis fic that i talked abt last time but didn't upload until now .... oc cameo from @localravenclaw and @esolean !! (Ren and Lydia) hope u guys enjoy this! anys have fun reading

All your life, you think that this was what you’ve been born to do.

It’s engraved in years of tradition and history, a role you had to partake in the moment you came out of the womb. It was predetermined that your fate would end up in this situation.

Purity was an important factor for the historical families of the Wizarding world. Those who had come down from powerful bloodlines consider the tradition of keeping the family pure a sacred tradition of their power and authority over society.

A pedestal created from years and years of bloodshed to hone the perfection of wizardry and magic today. You suppose it was only an act of gratitude to be part of a long-lasting dynasty that preserved the sacred power of your ancestors. You know it’s an honor to be tasked with this role—to be given the duty of creating more branches for future generations.

You should know because this was what you were born to do.

Born and raised to be a bridge for other Pureblood families to lengthen their authority and claim over their self-built thrones. They say it’s a privilege—to be part of a family descended from the Great Four or just have connections with them through their ancestors’ relationships.

To be pure is to be great.

To be pure is to live a life filled with luxuries.

Opportunities are immediately given with just a snap of their fingers. Their authority precedes those whose blood is stained with the lesser. You’d think living a life of a pureblood would just entail all roses and gold.

Y/N would beg to differ.

“Keep your head bowed and hands on your lap,” Your mother’s voice is ever so cold. The carriage rustles with each bump against rocky terrain. You suppose it's about time you've gotten used to her tone but the booming surprise of her voice has a way of sinking its claws deep within your small heart. As a child, obedience was the foremost value you learned to be of importance. You knew that if you flick your head slightly off angle to your usual disposition due to an interest in your surroundings or the people around you, you would only get the receiving end of your mother’s wand. You knew that you'll be locked down in that dreaded abyss if your bow stuttered due to a misplacement of your foot in front of other pureblood families.

At a young age, you knew enough to not make a mistake.

Born third to the Rosier family's eldest son, you knew that your duty was to form connections—Marry off into other pureblood families and create the next generation of talented pureblood wizards. Wizards have the natural right to take what’s theirs because of their authority over society. A vision that threatens those beneath them.

So you keep your head bowed and palms tucked nicely on your lap with one palm over the other. Your mother is a cold and moving force beside you as you tried to match her pace despite your small little legs. At the age of 7, you are brought by your mother for marriage negotiations.

“Your husband will be an esteemed member of the Gaunts,” You remember your father declaring over tea. He sits menacingly in the front of the table, the glow of the flames behind him making his figure all the more unreachable. You know to only nod and not question any further. He makes a point by knocking on the wooden surface of the long dinner table that seems to stretch farther with each day. You wonder if the spaces beside you will ever be filled. You turn to him at the beckoning of your attention. “You listen carefully to your future husband, child. I cannot afford another failure.”

His words engrave deeply within your poor meek heart. You know that if you deny it, you’ll suffer the same fate that of your older sister—the one who tried to get a glimpse of the love and normalcy she desperately wanted yet ended with a tragedy.

You remembered that day in such vivid detail—the cold looks of your parents as they looked down at the state of their eldest daughter, who bawls and claws at any sort of reaction from the still and lifeless figure of her former lover.

So just like the obedient perfect child that you are, you nod and bow—subservient to the influences of those who claim to be wiser than you. You can only do so much to control your faith so alas, you let go and let the others hold the reigns.

That is until you meet him.

You were faintly aware of what he looked like. A boy with eyes as bright as the clouds, hair so smooth—so blonde that it gleams perfectly in the sunlight, and moles that litter his face, mimicking the night sky. These were murmurs of him from the servants in the halls of your manor. They say his beauty is compared to that of Rowena Ravenclaw and his demeanor spoke true as a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. However, there were also whispers of his only flaw.

“They say the young lord does not see.”

You wondered before how true the nature of the gossip of the young lord was when you took your first step inside the Gaunt estate, but now, as you stand before him who seems detached from the world with his eyes as dull as the morning sky on a rainy day, you suddenly make a conclusive remark about him.

He was truly a sight to behold.

“This is the young Lord, Ominis Gaunt," His mother declares proudly from her place, chest puffed and earrings dangling from the heaviness of the jewels that clung tightly to their placements. His father stands idly and lets his wife do all the matching. Your mother only smiles, placing a firm hand on your back—reminding you of your duty.

You bow with the elegance that of a noble—A move you’ve honed to perfection from years and years of teaching and practice. You rise back up with the same pace, eyes peering up at him from your lashes. He only seems to daze off into the distance.

“This is Lady Y/N Rosier. We’ll serve you well.”

The silence is unbearable.

You think that maybe after the taxing interaction with the grown-ups and being able to interact alone with the young lord would allow you to finally discover his true personality.

That, however, continues to be a difficulty.

"Do you like fencing, my lord?" You ask, trying to break the ice as you sit across from him in one of the receiving rooms of the Gaunt's huge manor. "Or perhaps history?"

"Stop asking." He replies curtly, stance devoid of interest. You continue to dig deep into that shell of his, hoping that your incessant need to make conversation would crumble the defensive walls he put up.

"I hear you're quite skilled in astronomy, my lord—"

"Don't call me that."

"What do I call you then?" You perk up, cheeks gleaming with a smile. The furrowing of his eyebrows only digs deeper.

"It appears that I am an avid fan of silence. I suggest not speaking at all," For a 7-year-old, his voice is cold and authoritative. You suppose it's because of his closeness to the Great Four that he is granted with such ability to freely talk however he wants. Your eyes glimmer in awe.

"I just want to get to know my future husband," You retort, trying to make sense of your fiance. You pout like a child, feet swinging back and forth—allowing yourself a moment of reprieve from the stiffness of tradition. "Mother says it's customary for us to be familiar with one another at a young age to establish proper connec—"

His hands slam hard at the wooden surface of the table in front of you. You flinch, a bit surprised by his sudden show of strength. You admit that maybe you've gone a bit too far with the questioning, but it was all for a good purpose anyway! You two are to be one in due time. So, what was so wrong about getting to know him?

You wonder if you'll ever be like him someday. To carry himself in such a stance that he doesn't need to nod or bow to anyone. He tilts his head in the direction of your voice, face contorted into a glare.

"I'll be on my way," He murmurs, voice calm, and yet his disposition evokes anger and frustration. You watch him with bated breath as he walks towards the double doors, the servants bowing and opening it for him with ease.

You know that this should be the final nail in the coffin. To detest the boy you'll soon marry as he turns into a man whose values and inhibitions clung onto him like a wolf who won't release it's jaws onto prey. You know and yet your fingers crumple the fabric of your skirt, eyes looking forward to your next meeting.

The next time you meet him is over tea. It was the turn of the Gaunts to visit your manor as dictated by the tradition of courting within noble houses. You've practiced this scenario over and over. Countless of times alone, with your governess, and with your mother. It's engraved within the depths of your mind as the wounds of the past sting with each sip of your drink.

Act like a noble. Drink like a high-born. Be a pureblood.

The thoughts ring harshly with each thump of your beating heart. Your fingers twitch, and your form stiffens—all for the sake of tradition. The words branding the forefront of your mind as you feel the intensity of your mother's gaze.

I have to do good. I need to do good.

"Your estate is a wonderful place, Lady Rosier," The Gaunt Matriarch addresses your mother with an esteemed elegance—to which your mother only responds with a courteous smile, a part of her façade.

Your mother never liked purebloods but she respected tradition. She smiles and bows in front of her peers but mocks and beseeches them in the comfort of her room.

You don't understand your mother but as a young child, validation from her was the only thing you ever wanted.

And so you try.

"It's all due to our ancestors' hard work in keeping the Rosier history alive through the manor's architecture," You respond, lips contorted into a gentle smile. The Gaunts seem impressed by your interest in the conversation and from the corner of your eye, you see your mother shift in her seat.

"I see," Lord Gaunt eyes you with a glint of interest in his eye, and he shifts his attention to your parents. "Lord and Lady Rosier, you've raised a daughter worthy of her blood. I applaud you."

Your mother smiles and for the first time, you feel your heart thump at the recognition of doing good. She then responds, "As they should be. It is their role to be worthy and I'm sure she'll be a wonderful spouse to the young master."

Your attention then shifts to the quiet blonde sitting idly in his seat. His face is stone cold, eyes dull, and fists clenching the material of his seat so hard it turns white.

Anger was the first emotion you've seen on Ominis's face.

You wonder if you'll get to see more.

"Aren't you excited?"

You squeal, influenced by the utter joy of finally attending school. It's your first year.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where most wizarding families are built and made from. Many of your relatives built their name from their experiences as a student in Hogwarts—after all it was in your blood to be ambitious. To dream of the impossible and achieve it by any means. That's why your family house dons the colors of green and silver—a direct allegiance to the house of Slytherin, that of which many of your blood relatives reside during their time as a student.

While being excited about Hogwarts was already a given factor as a child of magic, there's also one thing you're most excited about.

"Stop bouncing about, Y/N," Ominis grumbled as he heaved his bag over his shoulder. "We still have to find our damn car."

Your relationship with Ominis did progress in some ways. He's less grouchy now and tolerates your personality enough to let you stay by his side. You've gotten used to its indifference but you think that it's good progress with how he talks more with you albeit still with glares and a cold demeanor.

He pays you no mind as he traverses through the narrow pathway of the train with the guide of his wand. You follow closely behind, hands carrying your suitcase as Ominis guides you to your assigned car.

"I can't help it, I'm literally bursting with energy," You whine as Ominis finally reaches your destination, slides the door open, and places his things inside. He plops down to the farthest corner and leans back to rest. You immediately claim the seat next to him to which he grumbles.

"There's plenty of seats for you to take," He scowls, gesturing to the empty seats in front of you both. You only giggle as you snuggle up next to him.

"Oh don't be such a stone-faced troll, Ominis!" You whine, slapping his arm. He tenses with anger at the gesture. "It's natural for me as your fiancée to be as close to you as possible."

"Stop calling yourself that," His eyebrows furrow in annoyance, jaw clenching in anger. You roll your eyes, not minding his hostility.

"But I am though?"

"I swear to Merlin's name and everything he holds dear, if you don't—"

The slide of the door halts your conversation as your eyes and his head flick toward the sudden disturbance. Two brunettes pop in, one seemingly looking like a direct copy of the other. They blink, eyebrows raised as they stare at the two of you.

"116?" The boy asks with an awkward smile. "Are we interrupting something?"

You pull yourself slowly from Ominis's space at the prospect of new friendships. You smile. "No worries, just a lovers' quarrel. I assume you're the ones we'll share the car with?"

"There is no lovers' quarrel." Ominis firmly states. The two purse their lips in slight hesitance. "Please, do join us though. Merlin knows I need it."

The two then make their way to sit in the remaining two empty seats, placing their luggage in the compartment under. You smile as they settle down in their seats, bright smiles plastered on their faces.

"Right," The boy starts. "Uh, I'm Sebastian Sallow and this is my sister, Anne. It's nice to meet you both."

You nod excitedly at the introduction, delighted to make friends at the present opportunity.

"I'm Y/N Rosier," You respond. You then gesture to the blonde next to you. "And this is Ominis Gaunt, my fian—"

"Friend." Ominis cuts through, overpowering your voice. You turn to him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "They mean friend."

The twins glanced at the two of you, puzzled by the shifting of the balance in your dynamics. Anne breaks the silence.

"Well, we'll be spending quite a long while here, I hope to make your acquaintance," The Sallow girl beams. Sebastian nods at his sister's words while Ominis responds with a hum of agreement.

There's not much to say when the group falls into silence once more. The four of you were strangers after all, still not used to the presence of someone new but the feeling is welcomed.

Your eyes glance at Ominis who seems to have been resting his eyes, leaning his head against the wall—waiting for the train to begin its course. The corner of your lips curl up at his iridescent beauty.

The train sounds its whistle beginning your journey.

"Are you dumb?"

Imelda blatantly states as she stares at you with disinterest in her eyes. She takes a bite of her apple. "Or just purely ignorant of what's actually happening?"

On your 3rd year at Hogwarts, you somehow get grounded to reality through the presence of Imelda Reyes.

You suppose it's all in due time that you'd be awakened from the trauma-inducing nightmare of tradition and sacred rules of your family. The need to fulfill your role. To give Ominis a home he needs, a family he wants, and a lover he deserves. You suppose that your role overshadowed your judgment of his character and behavior.

You had gotten used to it. To his blatant ignorance of your efforts, the glares, sarcastic comments, seething scoffs, or the fact that sometimes, he doesn't see you at all.

He's always like this, you think. You were never bothered by his indifference. You believed that you could love him enough for the both of you.

You were stupidly wrong about that too.

Sebastian and Anne are terrific company. After being acquainted in your first year, your little group had been formed then and there. The two of them stayed for the past 2 years and you were truly grateful for them. However, the twins were mostly close to Ominis. You didn't mind the gaps between you and the siblings seeing as you prioritized your relationship with Ominis more than anything.

You never really considered it to be a bad thing.

That is until Imelda begins to scratch at the surface of your finely built walls.

You purse your lips, minding your own business as you continue to sew a new stitch into the stretched fabric. You were unfortunate enough to share the dorm room with Imelda and while you enjoyed the rambunctious' Slytherin Quidditch Captain's companionship, this was certainly not something you'd rather talk with her. Everything was fine and there was no need to nitpick at every detail.

Your needle pokes through the hole, goes in, then out—thread sliding swiftly in the path you've carved out for it.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Imelda," You try to deflect her inquisitive nature. She rolls her eyes.

"It's just–" She pauses to readjust her position, leaning forward to rest her arms on her knees—she eyes you with keen interest. "I'm truly amazed how you've gone 3 years with him."

You glance up at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Stop speaking ill of Ominis."

Imelda lets out a loud laugh at your response. "And you even dare to defend him? Are you sure you're not dumb?"

You forcefully drop your sewing tools on your lap as you heave a sigh at her words. You turn to face her fully. "What do you want?"

"Why stay?" She responds, direct. She takes another bite of the apple.

There's a momentary pause of silence as the question rings in your mind. You had half a mind to just drop the conversation and leave but some part of you somehow wanted to defend yourself.

"He's just Ominis. He's always been like that," You respond, chest puffed in self-proclaimed confidence. "We grew up together. We're promised for each other. That's all I need—"

A sudden burst of laughter from Imelda catches you off guard. You flinch in surprise as you watch the brunette Slytherin double down in laughter. Somehow, the clawing feeling inside you becomes more prominent with each giggle and huff from the woman's lips. Your nail begins to scratch at the skin of your thumb.

"H-Holy shit," Imelda sighs in laughter, brushing off a stray tear. She giggles a few more times before finally settling down with a smile. "You're worse than I thought."

She tilts her head with a condescending look on her face.

"Have you ever seen him with the twins? Alone?" She asks. That sets off wave after wave of uncomfortable thumping within your chest. You let out a shaky breath. "I suppose you don't because you're always so focused on your dearest fiance—Actually, y'know! If you just tried to properly look at him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd finally get a grasp of yourself."

Your jaw clenches and palms sweat.

"Stop it." You try to get a hold of yourself. To take control of the situation and get a grip on your thoughts that seem to get more and more chaotic as time passes. However, despite your tries, Imelda overpowers you once more.

"Y/N," She leans forward to rest her arms on the wooden surface of the table. "Maybe, you don't know much about him at all."

Your eyes are locked on hers at the prompt of her words. You can't bring yourself to deny despite the flurry of emotions bursting within you. She tilts her head and gives you a sympathetic look.

You walked out with no response.

On your 5th year, the presence of a new student shook the halls of Hogwarts.

It was uncommon, of course, that a wizard would get admitted at such a late year and while the idea of a new 5th year would turn a few heads in curiosity, this was not the only source of attention.

Over the course of the first few days back to school, you hear talks of the new 5th year's incredible feats of surviving against a dragon attack. There were exaggerations, of course, and different variants of the story with how widespread the gossip had reached, but it all reached the same conclusion at the end.

This new girl had already made her mark as a formidable wizard.

You admired her at first, wanting to know how she did it and what brought on such circumstances. However, there was a slight uncomfortable nagging deep within the depths of your heart at your first meeting. While you felt regretful of such impression despite her kind deportment, you still felt uneasy at the arrival of her presence.

It was probably partly because of Anne's leave of absence since the start of your 5th year. Sebastian was quite privy to the details concerning Anne's sudden absence. You knew she was sick, but other than that, you were quite left in the dark. You convinced yourself that maybe Sebastian feels conflicted when talking about it, and his sudden avoidance of you bringing up the topic proves a testament to that. However, you've seen him and Ominis on the train when you came back after getting refreshments. You've seen Ominis give him a comforting hug—an affection you've barely received from him if there was any at all. You've seen Sebastian tap Ominis to stop talking whenever you enter the room.

People tend to have that misconception that you're awfully unaware of your surroundings due to you being characterized as a 'pushover.' You knew that your bond with Ominis or Sebastian was way different than what they had for each other. You knew it and chose not to dwell too much on the semantics. You'd rather focus on Ominis. On being the person he deserves.

This was solidified when Sebastian began including her in your lunch hangouts.

You were unfortunate enough to be separated from Sebastian and Ominis for your Potions lecture. You had to scour across the castle just to get with them for lunch. They were usually at the same place—lounging around in the Defense against the Dark Arts Tower or the Undercroft.

This time, however, you were finding it quite hard to spot the two.

"Look," Lydia Parkinson, a Ravenclaw from your year, twirls the cup of drink in her hand as she lazily looks up at you due to the lulling atmosphere of the afternoon. "Maybe you could just have lunch with us. Just saying."

Seated beside Lydia is Ren Aries, your potions seatmate (also a Ravenclaw). She has rumored romantic ties with Sebastian, which brought you to their spot in the Great Hall in the first place. Who else would know Ominis's best friend better than you?

Your eyes turn to Ren, who merely rests her chin on her palm propped up by her elbow on the table. "Don't look at me."

"You're basically dating!" You whine, hands grabbing on your books tighter. "Of course, you know where he is."

"No, we're not." Ren answers swiftly.

"Wrong." Lydia raises a breadstick and accusingly points it at Ren.

"Is she talking to you? I don't think so." Ren swats her hand away, causing the breadstick to fly across the table and into a group of first years. The three of you immediately turn your heads, not willing to face the confused glances on their faces.

Just as the first years begin to mind their own business, Lydia begins to lean in with pursed lips. "Well, I might've heard that the two left the Great Hall with the new fifth—"

Suddenly a loud slap intercepts her words. You flinch back at the sudden movement, watching as Lydia rubs her arm as she crumples over the table. Ren sends a glare toward Lydia before turning to you with a half-lidded stare.

"Don't mind her. She's delirious after drinking the pumpkin juice." Ren intercepts easily, not minding her best friend wincing beside her. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"I heard what she said?'

"No you didn't."

"I mean ..." You trailed off, eyes glancing between the two. "I just heard her say the new fifth year."

There's an uncomfortable silence as the two gaze at you with an unreadable stare. Somehow, this gaze seems quite familiar. You've seen it from Imelda, from Anne during your short moments together, and now these two. A budding stem of annoyance begins to grow in your skin.

"Why are you looking at me like that? They're probably just hanging out." You shrug it off like you've always had. It is no use fretting over such simple matters.

"Sure they are—" Lydia chuckles before Ren sends a nudge to her ribs. The redhead merely groans and grabs at the edge of the table. You look at her in concern.

"As I said, delirious." Ren lightly curls the corners of her lips to give you a polite smile. There's a pause of silence before Ren sighs—eyes gazing with an unreadable expression on her face. Your fingers twitch at its familiarity.

"They're in the Undercroft, Y/N." She says, nodding slightly. There's a slight hesitance to her tone of response as if telling you where they were wasn't something she was supposed to be doing. "Sebastian dropped by our table to tell me that, just in case I wanted to join."

Sebastian referred to Ren. Just in case she wanted to join. You wanted to ask if Ominis at least told her to tell you, but you're too much of a coward to do that.

You couldn't will yourself to look at her eyes, afraid that you might finally recognize the emotion that lingers in the depths of her mind. You suppose the inquisitive and empathetic nature of Ravenclaw runs deep within Ren's blood.

You nod as a thanks and left without a word.

You hear laughter first. Your footsteps halt at the archway of the Undercroft—breath faltering as your eyes find the familiar tufts of blonde you've grown to love over the years.

Normally, you would've already bounced over to him, reveling in his attention no matter how negative or neutral it might appear. You would've teased him and wormed your way into his arms.

However, things were quite different from where you were standing.

You hadn't had the opportunity to meet the new 5th year. You only relied on hushed whispers and murmurs across the halls of Hogwarts just to get a glimpse of what she was actually like. You take slow steps towards the source of laughter, eyes trained on their figures—smiles, and gleeful expressions plastered on their faces.

You're caught off guard by the unfamiliar presence of the new fifth year—hair as dark as midnight with a touch of silver strands that decorate the front of her hair like the stars that litter the sky. She's as pretty as they say, as radiant as they whispered about, and evokes the aura of a true born wizard.

However, the true reason for her shock lies in the fact that Ominis—the man she'd known to be stoic, unmoving, and unphased, was laughing. Ominis was laughing.

"Oh, Y/N." It's Sebastian who notices you first. You flinched at the greeting, watching as the other two paused—the new fifth year turning towards you with wide curious eyes, and Ominis subtly turned his head away from you. Your breath hitches at his actions. Sebastian awkwardly glances between the two of you. "I think this is the first time you actually met Nora. Nora, this is Y/N Rosier. Y/N, this is Nora Finley."

Nora waves at you with a smile. "Hi Y/N. Hope you don't mind me intruding."

"None at all." You reply eyes glancing at Ominis who continues to have his back towards you. You decide to continue the conversation. "I was looking for you guys. I thought we were going to have lunch."

"Oh," Sebastian scratches the back of his head, hesitantly glancing at Ominis who continuously remains silent and indifferent. "We already had lunch. Sorry."

You slowly nod in an understanding, a stiff smile plastered on your face.

"That was because you were too hungry to wait," Nora intercepts with joking shove. "Apologies, Y/N. I didn't know they were waiting for someone else."

Your finger twitches slightly at her words. "It's fine."

"I was waiting for Ren! Ominis was just being an asshole." Sebastian defends himself which earns a slap on the arm from Nora. Then, you suddenly hear Ominis speak up.

"Not my fault you were actually coward enough to not go to her yourself," Ominis says. This earns a laugh from Nora who bumps her shoulders against Ominis. "I had to pull you over." The three laugh at the situation at hand, faces plastered with glee and comfort.

So Ominis was there, with Ren and the others. Yet no one thought of telling you where they were. An anxious heavy feeling settles over your chest.

Suddenly, you feel out of place. Your ears ring, zoning out, as their motion becomes more distorted in your eyes. You feel as though you shouldn't be here—that you're the one intruding instead. The ache overwhelms you.

Your feet shuffle a few steps back. "I-I'll get going." You say, voice weak as you announce your departure. Sebastian gives you a moment's glance before nodding. Nora gives you a big wave (you feel bad, she's too much of an angel). However another reason piles onto your aching heart—mind in a daze as it beats fast with anxiety.

Ominis had not once acknowledge your presence.

You leave with your dignity intact.

Seeing Nora is now a regular occurrence.

You didn't mind it at first. You liked the girl. She was a social butterfly, easy to talk to, and her presence brought comfort whenever she was around. You couldn't argue the comfortable nature of Sebastian and Ominis around her. While you were also a generally talkative and social person, it still varied among your peers. Your personality often ventures between the lines of introvert and extrovert—only becoming active to a certain amount of people, and silent to the rest.

However, despite your positive impression on Nora, there was also the case between her and Ominis. You've seen them hanging about in various points of the castle. Even going out together when they leave classes. You haven't had much alone time to spend with Ominis as he somehow begins to become more non-approachable and cold as days pass by. Somehow, he becomes more indifferent than before.

Back then, Ominis indulges in your whims despite his initial opposition. You suppose it's probably to get you to stop, but he had always listened—one way or another. Now, he merely leaves without a word—cutting you off mid-talk and bouncing off to Nora who had just entered the room.

Your heart begins to waver and your breath speeds up. You couldn't deny the hurt that flows through you with each indifferent response of your fiance. Your fiance. He was yours as much as you were his.

So why does it feel like you're the one intruding?

"What do you think we should get Anne, Omi?" You smile, siding up to Ominis whose hands run through the braille engraved on his book. "Do you think we should get her some scented candles?"

"Anne has a sensitive nose." Ominis furrows his eyebrows before slightly tilting his head towards you. "Didn't you know that?"

"I did!" You respond with a defensive tone. Of course, you did. Anne was your friend. "I was going to buy her those simple scented candles. Just to help her with the stress."

Ominis scoffs at your words before going back to reading his book. Just as you inquire a little more about his day, you hear Nora and Sebastian chattering as they reach your spot. You were about to greet them when you felt Ominis nudge your hold away from his arm. You flinch at its intensity as he rises from his seat to walk towards the two—specifically in Nora's direction.

Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, knocking against your ribs like an ache you can't explain. You sit silently, eyes watching as they chatter amongst themselves. The looming realization begins to crawl under your skin, chipping at you—limb from limb. Your breath falters.

"Y/N!" Nora greets like the angel that she is. You smile back, albeit forced and hesitant but welcomed her warmth with open arms. She slides up to you, before calling over the two. They follow with ease. You feel Nora's arm intertwine with yours, thumbing the cloth of your robe.

Just as the two have finally settled down, Nora begins the conversation. "I'm glad you don't have DADA with these two. It's always a chaos."

You nod, still quite perplexed by the whole situation. "Really?"

"Please, Nora." Sebastian teases, arms propped on the table. "Just say you're mad that I beat you at a duel."

"Throwing a ragged cloth to my face before casting a Levioso isn't a win that you think it is." Ominis intercepts with a disappointed shake of his head.

"Blah, blah. Looks like a skill issue to me." Sebastian leans back, arms crossed over his chest. He rolls his eyes playfully. "Life isn't fair on the battlefield, Finley."

Nora turns to you with a scrunched nose. "Are you really friends with these guys?"

You find yourself pausing at her question. Thankfully, she laughs afterward, pulling tease after teasing towards Sallow. The question begins to etch into your brain as your mind conjured every possible interaction you had with Sebastian. Was he even your friend? You remember the silence and the awkward tensions whenever Ominis had to go to the bathroom or get called up by Professor Weasley. Even before then, when Anne was present in your little group of 4, the twins were always stuck to the hip, if not with Ominis. Never the three of you alone together.

Never with you.

You suppose Imelda was right. Blinded by the idea and concept of love through duty, you unintentionally neglected the possible ties that you could've had with the twins. You felt helpless.

"Oh, yeah. Before I forget, what are we getting Anne this weekend?"

Your head turn towards Nora in surprise. "You're coming?"

There's a momentary pause at your question. You wouldn't have minded it before, but now you feel the stares clawing at your skin.

"Of course, she is." Ominis replies with a tone of disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous."

"She hasn't met Anne, though? I don't think—"

"Don't speak for my sister, Y/N." Sebastian cuts through the tension with an offhanded response. You turn towards him in surprise. Nora shifts uncomfortably beside you. "We already planned this. Let's just go with it."

"You didn't tell me anything?" You're not sure as to why your voice suddenly begins to rise. Your hands clench under the table.

"My bad?" Sebastian shakes his head in confusion, as if he's the one incovenienced. "Listen up, next time then? Instead of you know—ogling Ominis, all the time?"

"Sebastian!" Nora calls out, perplexed at the sudden hostility. The brown-haired Slytherin merely turns his head away. A dreadful feeling submerges over your body as you glance at Ominis who sports an indifferent look in his face. There's a paused silence before Sebastian stands from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Nora asks, worried.

"Out. I'm floo-ing to Hogsmeade for the gift. Catch up if you guys want to." Sebastian mumbles in response. He leaves abruptly, robe trailing behind him.

Just as you were about to turn to Ominis, he stands up. "Omi?"

"You should've known better." Ominis mutters. Your breath hitches at his words. He follows through with Sebastian. Your hand clenches into a fist.

"Y/N," Nora grasps at your arm with slight comfort. You couldn't be mad at her even if you wanted to. "Are you okay?"

Your head is lowered, hair framing your face as you try to gather your emotions. You then turn towards her with a smile you've practiced from your childhood days.

"I'm fine."

The silence was unbearable.

You're not sure when was the last time you and Ominis were seated together in a room, alone—much less the receiving room of your manor. You can feel the nervousness clawing up your throat. Your mother had persisted on the two of you visiting the manor during your winter break. You wanted to accept the invitation at first, seeing as this was an opportunity to spend time with Ominis.

But seeing the disdain on his face as soon as you told him the news, somehow regret only fills your body. You had no choice either way.

"Is Hogwarts treating you well?" Your mother sips her tea with the elegance fitting for her role as the matriarch of the house. You shift in your seat, uneasy from her attention.

"Well enough," Ominis answers from your side. His face lacks the enthusiasm of talking to your family.

Your mother furrows her eyebrows at the response but doesn't say anything regardless. "I do hope you're both preparing for your engagement once you graduate in 2 years. Merlin knows how much both of our families have prepared for it."

You nod submissively, unable to resist the pointed stare your mother gives you. Ominis stands abruptly at her words, not opting to pardon himself as he walks out of the room. There's paused silence before your mother scoffs.

"Insolent child," She seethes, taking a sip out of her cup. "If it weren't for his family name and heritage, we would've found you a more suitable heir to marry. Merlin knows his family's treating him like a dispensable asset, when his brother's already married and up to take the role as head of the house."

You sit silently, eyes focused on the untouched cup of tea. Your mother's voice booms through the room, causing you to flinch at its sudden intensity.

"Go after him, Y/N. Beg on your knees if you have to. Keep him tied to the leash before he goes off pawing at others." Your mother orders. "Your sister's a testament to that. Do I make myself clear?"

Your mother's word was law. Everyone in the house knew that. Even your father, who is recognized as the head of the house. She easily controls those around her to do her bidding, and those who resist are met with dire consequences. You'd rather be by her side than against her blade.

"Yes, mother."

You found him by the courtyard.

Your family dog, an Alpine Mastiff that was gifted for your father by a collector of muggle creature, pants against his lap—enjoying the gentle caresses that Ominis runs through his fur. He sits against the huge tree in the middle, the leaves giving his face a gentle shade from the light. You make careful steps before standing in front of him.

"Feeling lethargic, Omi?" You smile. The dog, Xavier, looks up at you with its sleepy eyes before yawning against Ominis's touch.

"I told you to stop calling me that." He replies, eyes devoid of emotion. He merely runs back and forth Xavier's fur as if its stimulation calms his nerves.

"You never allow me to call you anything." You retort, voice calm as you look down at him with a forlorn expression. He doesn't need to know that.

Ominis shakes his head, a sarcastic smile on his lips. "That's because we're not friends."

You purse your lips before responding. "If you say stuff like that, I'll get hurt, Omi."

Ominis chuckles. "You've bound me to your chains, made me a spectacle with your jokes, and you're worried about getting hurt over the truth?"

You stared at him as he continues to pet the massive dog on his lap. You've gone through this routine before, and you'll go through it again. Why get hurt now?

There's a miniscule pause of silence before you let out a laugh at his words. "So touchy with everything, Omi. You really hate me that much?"

It's a joke. Don't take it to heart.

"Yes," He answers with no hesitation, face devoid of any emotion. He finally looks up and its as if those beautiful cloudy blue eyes could stare through you. "Yes, I do."

It's not true.

You've observed Ominis enough to know what he's thinking.

As much as others regarded him as an intimidating figure, he quite wears his heart on his sleeve. You know when he's angry, when he's joking, being sarcastic, sad, or whatever version of Ominis you're facing for the day. You didn't spend 8 years of your life loving him just for you to not recognize every detail on his face.

You've known him well enough to recognize patterns on his behavior, subtle differences to his emotions, and his current mood of the day. If anything, you're well versed in Ominis's body language, that you've grown well accustomed to how you act around him based on it.

That's why besides you're being hit with two realities, instead of one.

You've watched them from across the hall, chatting up a storm as the three of them were huddled in the corner. You've long since opted to observing them rather than being in the group itself, and ever since then, you've begin noticing things you weren't supposed to.

"What's got you looking so focused there?" Imelda's voice reaches your senses as a figure settles beside you. You give her a glance before looking back at the trio. She hums, following your line of sight. "Looking at your asshole of a lover boy again?"

"Don't I ever?" You sarcastically remark, laughing slightly. Imelda looks at you with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

"Wow," She nods. "That's improvement. You don't make sarcastic remarks when I point out your obsession with white boy over there."

You glance at her, heaving a breath as you contemplated letting Imelda know of your thoughts as of late. You suppose that she's the only person who has been real with you since the start. Everything's been a blur since your visit with Ominis to your manor. You've been trying your hardest to appear normal but things had just gone way off. You've started to distance yourself as well, only responding when asked or talked to—which most of the case is Nora's doing. Though, with Sebastian's constant needs for adventure and Nora's inquisitive nature, she had also lost the attention towards your interaction with the group.

With Ominis, you knew well enough that wherever Nora and Sebastian went, he went to as well. You've seen the three of them flee the Great Hall, not minding your lack of presence to the group. 4 years as a group of friends and 8 years with Ominis, and they haven't had a single thought about you that passed through their minds.

You suppose you should've gotten used to their exclusion to your presence. You're partly aware that this is due to the engagement between you and Ominis, how much he despises the centuries-old tradition of marrying those of the same stature as he is. How much he detests the forced nature of your relationship. You wished you had the power to null it, to start over, and meet him under different circumstances. To dream of a reality where he actually finds love in you, and wishes for a future with you in it.

But alas, life is hard for someone like you. To hold so much authority within your fingertips but be shackled by tradition and generational trauma. You've long accepted your demise.

"Ominis likes Nora." The words slips out of your mouth with ease. Like what you just said was something out of the news. Imelda chokes at what she hears. You look at her with concern.

"E-excuse me?"

"Ominis likes Nora." You repeat calmly. Imelda sweatdrops, moving to stand in front of you as she analyzed your facial expression.

"You're saying that like it's the weather—are you okay?" She asks, worried.

You shrug, eyes looking down at your twiddling thumbs. "It's inevitable. Everyone knows about it, no?"

Imelda pauses, face cringing as she places her hands on her hips. You chuckle at the silent admission. "I'm always a bit too late."

"Look, Y/N," She sighs, taking a step forward as she places a hand on your arm. "Ominis was doomed to be your fiance from the start. He's an asshole and just overall rude! You've got nothing much to lose anyway!"

Your tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip before pulling between your teeth. "I do. That's not how it works, Imelda."

You glance up at her, finally meeting her concerned eyes. She lets out a breath at your forlorn expression.

"I always knew Ominis didn't like what we had. I've spent most of my childhood years with him to not know the familiarity of his disdain." You reply. You recall the times you've received cold and indifferent actions from him. "He's made himself clear. I was always the one who wanted more."

"Y/N," Imelda sighs.

"I don't think Ominis ever considered me to be someone dear to him," You whispered. "I had always been something he easily cast aside. A nuisance—I've seen the way he whispers to Sebastian whenever I've said something they considered out of line. I was never something he deemed important."

Imelda is silent. You heave a sigh.

"He's happy now." You mutter. "Nora's everything I'm not, and even if I wanted to hate her, despise her—she's so pure and likeable that it's so unfair. Why is it so unfair?"

You feel tears well in your eyes. Imelda's breath hitches at the sight. She looks around, trying to see if anyone was watching. She then hears the familiar voices of the three. Soon enough she sees them walking over to pass by their area. Imelda did what she could only think of.

She pulls her off her robe before throwing it over your head, shielding you from their stares. She pulls you in her arms as the three near towards you. You couldn't see a thing but you could hear them.

"... Imelda?" Sebastian's voice comes out as confused, probably because of her hooded figure. "What's up?"

"Hey!" Imelda smiles, hands making gentle pats to your back. "Friend's not feeling well. Hope you don't mind."

There's pause of silence before Ominis responds. You feel your heart speed up. "Ah, hope they'll feel better."

"They hear that quite well!" Imelda responds with enthusiasm. You slump against her hold, feeling lethargic from thinking.

"Alright, we'll get going." Sebastian waves before the two follow them off. Just as the three of them began to make their way down the hall, you hear Nora suddenly backtrack.

"Ah, by the way, if you do see Y/N around, tell her that Professor Weasley's asking for her?" Nora says. Your body freezes and its as if Imelda had felt it as she had pulled you closer.

"S-sure." Imelda responds. The three of them began to go on their way, chatting and laughing as they disappear down the hall.

Imelda finally pulls her robe off you, eyes filled with concern. "Y/N ..."

"They knew I wasn't around," You mumble, breath trembling, and eyes devoid of emotion. "They knew. He knew."

Imelda raises a hand to fix your hair before smiling. "There's nothing much I can say that will be of help, but I do hope that you'll take care of yourself—Of what you'll do from here on out."

You pause at her words before nodding silently.

The realization settles in and its heartbreaking and grueling. However, despite that, things haven't been much clearer than before. You'll set things right. For him. For yourself.

Because love is your greatest weakness, no? Your greatest threat. Love for him, and love for your family.

Whichever will prevail?

A/N: before yall ask, yes this will have a part 2 ... i just really wanted to finish this and it went beyond what ive planned. stay tuned mwehe!!! this will not have a happy ending btw. the title daffodil's camellia is in reference to their meaning in love. daffodil can mean new beginnings but it can also mean unrequited love, camellia means romantic love or devotion. just wanted to let yall know that!

#arthenaa #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy x reader #ominis gaunt #ominis x reader #ominis gaunt angst #hogwarts legacy angst #ren aries #lydia parkinson #hl ocs #nora finley mwehe

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts

[logolepsysposts]

𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗪/ 𝗖𝗛𝗨𝗨𝗬𝗔 - ★

‘Im so happy you’re here with me,Nakahara’

A little fic I wrote for a friend and decided to post it here!!

Minor sexual content but just thigh riding + gender neutral reader + probably not a canon reaction but yk.

ʚɞ ꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱

Chuuya wasn’t seen as a very affectionate individual to some,that didn’t mean he didn’t care, more or so he just didn’t know how to perceive affection,physically at least.

He’d prefer to scold you and help you while doing so or awkwardly hold you, it was cute because you knew he was trying and you’d do anything to keep helping him slowly open up more.

One thing he didn’t mind and found himself loving the most about you though were your lips, they were always so warm and inviting anything you placed a kiss on him, whether it was his forehead, cheek, lips, neck, anywhere really he didn’t mind.

He enjoyed the warm and inviting feeling his lovers kisses gave him. It made him feel sweet, it gave him a sense of security.

You were the most affectionate out of the two, you weren’t really interested in sex but didn’t mind it when you found it happening, as long as you two were near each other indulging into each others warmth it was alright, He didn’t mind it when it was you.

Speaking of sexual activity Chuuya wasn’t known for being a pervert, sometimes when it came to you he didn’t know what to do with himself, and sometimes he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, he wanted to touch you and indulge the best way he knew how. For you he’d definitely try.

One particular night he’d gotten home from late, sometimes he would since he’d have to deal with Dazai, you were aware of his line of work and didn’t get upset about it when he’d come home late some nights. When he came home he’d always make sure to shower and then come look for you.

When he realized you weren’t here he was bummed out. It was one of those nights when you came home late also. Since you weren’t here he just decided to freshen up and wait for you In bed. Turning on some show he had no intentions on watching, just something to pass the time till you came home.

You walked in about an hour after him, taking off your shoes and leaving your bags by the door, too lazy to care. You walked up the stairs absolutely exhausted as you walked into the room, it was dark , the only light being the tv illuminating his orange hair. you softly smiled grabbing your pajamas and undergarments and headed to go shower, you stayed in for a few and then got out, drying off and throwing on your clothes as you walked into the bedroom, going and dipping into the bed next to the orange haired boy.

You layed down and almost instantly he clinged to you he’d missed you so much and seeing him cling to you made you smile.

“I missed you idiot”

He spoke first,voice soft and low from the exhaustion, you nodded, whispering something that he guessed was an “I missed you too” as he buried his face into your soft neck, taking in the sweet fresh smell of his lover he’d missed so much. You tapped his thigh,softly asking if he wanted to lay on you.

he got a little flustered at the question but said yes as he climbed ontop of you, you took a second to admire how absolutely ethereal he looked in this moment.

His pretty ginger hair he usually kept into a ponytail now out and hanging slightly past his shoulders and his bangs covering his eyes slightly, if you hadn’t known him he could’ve easily been mistaken for a pretty girl, his soft features in the dimly lit room, the only light being the tv had been on.

Compared to Chuuya you were bigger, he was a good 5’3 but argued that he was taller than that and that you were “simply just too tall” and you were a good 5’6-5’7 , not as tall but tall enough to tower over him slightly.

You took more time to admire the fact that he’d been wearing one of your shirts, you could tell by the way it was slightly oversized and hung off his shoulders in a way that gave him a messy/distraught sleeper look. He bent down giving you a soft kiss on your forehead, you’d always appreciated his small kisses and loving gestures, you took your soft hand lightly grabbing his chin and placing a soft kiss on his lips, you intended for it to be short but Chuuya wasn’t going to let that happen, you softly smiled against the kiss, taking a second to speak

“I missed you so much, Nakahara”

You spoke between the kiss, his name sliding off your tongue so sweetly in a way that made him melt, your tone and voice it’s-self was enough to tip him over the edge, he gave a soft groan.

one hand holding his waist as you sat up still holding him on your waist, taking your other hand to join on his waist.

He didn’t mind and infact he loved it, he took his hands wrapping them around your shoulders deepening the kiss further, parted his lips a bit and you took that as an invite to slip your tongue through, exploring his warm mouth, soft , sweet lips colliding with yours with a perfect fit, as if his lips were made to fit perfectly against yours, for you and only you.

He was growing needy, and you wanted to feed into it, unfortunately still too tired to engage in “those” activities you decided to shift him slightly so he was hoisted on your thigh, hands still on his waist, sliding under the shirt he was wearing to hold onto warm, bare skin, lightly gripping his hips and helping him grind against your thigh, the gesture caught him off guard and he let out a soft whimper.

Cute.

It wasn’t rare for him to make those sounds but it also wasn’t too common, so you’d do anything to relish in those moments and do whatever’s possible to hear more of those sweet sounds. His lips still against yours trying his best to keep them connected as he grinded feverishly against your soft thigh, he let out a series of soft whimpers and heavy breaths.

“You feel good love? Are you enjoying this”

A hint of tease seeping through your voice, he wanted to speak but his mind was hazy and too far gone to try to think of a response, a gesture so small driving him so insane, just the fact you’re touching him and indulging in such a way makes his brain cloud and mind hazy. He loved it and he loved you.

He pulled away from the kiss,chest heaving and body hot, his bangs sticking to his forehead with soft pants escaping his lips, as he buried his face into your shoulder letting out gasps trying his best to contain himself. Knowing you didn’t mind the noises but he still found being so vocal embarrassing, you softly moved your hands to his lower back and softly rubbed, his body trembled from all the pleasure he was feeling.

“Mm close”

He was able to say softly, chest rising and falling as he continued to grind so eagerly against your leg, he was so,so cute.

You let him grind as hard and fast as he needed, he threw his head back riding it out, chest heaving and knuckles white from gripping onto you so hard, a loud moan escaped as he trembled when he finished riding it out, you softly smiled, just watching him in the heat of the moment, soft bangs stuck to his head and soft skin now damp from sweat, adorable.

He fell slack into your arms breathing still heavy as he tried to recollect himself.

“I love you”

He said before he drifted off, breathing slowly steadying as you rubbed his lower back, you softly smiling kissing his head and whispering a soft “I love you two” as you layed back drifting off with him in your arms .

✩

#chuuya my beloved #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya scenarios #bsd chuuya #chuuya fluff #chuuya smut #bsd x reader #bsd manga #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs #fluff #smut kinda

[kvthgok]

Surprise? | Miguel O’Hara x Teen Spider Reader (Platonic)

Warnings- none

Summary - Durning a mission you get hurt and try to hide your injury from Miguel

Side note - IM SO SRRY YALL THAT I HAVENT BEEN POSTING LATELY 😭🙏. SOMEWHAT PROOFREAD BTWWWW (ALSO to those who did request ideas I DID read them and am currently writing them 🤍🤍)

It was like any other day in the spider society. Fighting and sending anomalies back to their earths. But things had taken a slight little turn.

You had asked Miguel if you could tag along on a mission with him. It had token some convincing but half of it was just you begging. Miguel didn’t really like the thought of you going on actual tricky missions. He would normally send you on missions to catch the anomalies of the week. But not serious dangerous ones, especially the new anomaly Spot.

As you and Miguel were standing on a building Miguel was going over emergency plans.“Okay kid if anything goes downhill and you open a portal back to HQ immediately. I’ll be fine and finish up the mission myself.” Miguel looked at you trying to reassure you that he would be fine if you needed to leave.

Miguel sighed and then looked at the mission in front of you. “Ok you ready?” He asked you. His tone shifted back to a bit more stern and serious.

Yup!” You Said putting on my mask

The two of guys both put on your mask then swung off the building to the chaos down there.

Skip time after fight (cuz I’m to lazy & suck dookie at writing fight scenes🤭)

Miguel had met back up with you and was checking to make sure you were alright.

“You alright kid?” Miguel said having a tiny hint of concern in his voice.

He was about to say something else but stopped himself. He didn’t want to seem to over protective.

“The mission was a success. Good job kid.” Miguel said instead with a slight proud smile

He looked down at you and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah you alright kid? You didn’t get injured out there right?” He didn’t look too concerned but he had that same small hint of worry in his voice.

“Mhm yeah im fine.” I Said with a Small smile.

You had lied. Your hand was hurting like a bitch. The anomaly had stomped on it while fighting. You only lied to Miguel so he didn’t have to worry. Your lie seemed to work though.

Skip few days

These past days Miguel has noticed you had been laying off one of your hands and questioned you one night about it.

“Kid remember that time on the mission when you told me you weren’t hurt?” Miguel asked with a neutral expression.

“Yeah..why?” You said trying to act normal.

Miguel sighed and looked at you for a few seconds. “Don’t try to act like your normal. I’m not that stupid. Show me your injured hand.” Miguel’s tone had shifted back to being stern.

You still tried to act like you didn’t know what he was talking about.

He sighed out of annoyance and called out for Lyla telling her to scan you. She did find something. Your hurt hand.

Miguel was more annoyed then anything at this point. He had known you were lying to him this whole time. “So your telling me you’ve kept this injury hidden for a few days and didn’t tell me?” Miguel asked you while looking annoyed.

You nervously smiled not knowing what to say, “Surprise?”

He had a pissed off look on his face as he looked down at you, “Your not funny.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had an injured hand when we got back to headquarters. I could’ve done something about it.” Miguel said with a stern tone.

“I didn’t want to you worry that’s why I didn’t say anything about it.” I said scratching my head looking down

Miguel looked at you for a few seconds. You could tell he was trying not to lash out. He sighed a bit and then spoke. “The next time you have an injury like this tell me please. This injury could’ve gotten a lot worse if you kept quite and let it fester for long periods of time.” Miguel spoke with a gentle tone even though he was pissed.

Miguel looked down at you once more. He could see that you had learned from this mistake. “I get it you didn’t want me to worry. Just don’t make that mistake again.” Miguel said looking a little less annoyed about this.

“Sorry Miguel” I Said in a low tone

“Its alright kid but next time just tell me. I want to make sure your always safe alright.” Miguel spoke with his eyes looking slightly softer and less stern.

#atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel spiderverse #spider man 2099 #miguel spiderman #miguel x y/n #miguel x reader #spiderman #miguel x you #across the spiderverse #fanfic #x teen!reader #teen reader #platonic #platonic friendships #miguel ohara #miguel o hara #miguel o’hara x y/n #spider society #spiderman 2099 #spiderman atsv #atsv #atsv x reader

[drdemonprince]

hey thanks for making that post. ngl spring 2020 was genuinely the worst period of my entire life and very traumatic to me and im so used to having my feelings shut down by ppl who are supposed to be on the same side as me that I always get nervous when ppl bring it up because im expecting to be guilted and made fun of again. thanks for not trivializing it! it's always so embarrassing to admit that I was traumatized by like. change and having to stay indoors by myself. when ppl died and were physically disabled. but its a relief when anyone acknowledges those of us who almost didn't survive for other reasons

yo thank you for saying this, it helps make me feel less overdramatic and like a baby about it too.

it's so fucking insidious how moral purtanism has people feeling like they need to perform that lockdown was easy for them, as if that is proof of their moral virtue and how seriously they take covid. it's not. some of us were on the fuckin EDGE and took real risks in order to survive that experience, and that includes many high risk people!

this is a total calamaty that happened to us, it is not something anybody earned or made happen themselves, and it was allowed to worsen through institutional failure, not because we are selfish weak little worms. it's fucking sickening to me how many people who supposedly care about disability justice decide to admonish others for being weak/selfish/lazy surrounding covid, when they would rightly reject that kind of rhetoric being applied to themselves for no longer being able to work because of long COVID.

there are a lot of people who are very new to the movement who have gotten involved in it due to sudden personal relevance and fear who have NO idea what real disability justice work is like.

[ashterrope]

— too late, in your arms once more.

⤷ hsr + genshin mens - drabble/blurp |

⤷ cw: character death(you), gn!reader, angst/no comfort.

He is a calculated man— everyone knows that. You would be lying if you know that you would be caught up in this situation, it was a miscalculation- a slipup; he said. You weren’t supposed to be here, not at this time, not ever. But at the end of the day, he has no control of time— and he knows that you know.

He came late, too late in fact. Once he sees your weak figure laying on the ground in his peripheral vision, everything went silent. His once cold demeanor faltering at the sight of you, so weak, so lost. He reached out that soft, calloused hand of his only to hear your dying breath. Those long slender fingers caresses the once warm but now cold cheek, the home for his fingers to rest.

“darling.”

that smooth voice rang inside your aching head, opening your eyes to see those familiar eyes— ones that you have seen too many times. He paid no mind to the dark red of the sickening truth staining his lower abdomen, his eyes full of indescribable confusion, rage, sadness, but the most evident one; fear.

“i’m sorry.” you could only mutter up, a tear dropped down from your eye. He shakes his head, connecting his forehead with yours as he reassure you that it was not your fault— never was. It was his fault, he’s supposed to be the one protecting you, hell he even promised that he would never let any harm come to you. But look to where it is now, he broke his promise, but its okay. You knew that he tries his best.

“no, don’t apologize.” taking your cold hand to his lips to place a chaste kiss, his eyes bore to your weak eyes. You are tired, he could tell. But he won’t let you sleep just yet, not when you would sleep forever.

you smiled weakly when he gave your knuckles a soft, tender kiss. It’s almost like if he press on too much pressure, he’ll break you. Even in your dying breath you look as etheral when he first laid his eyes on you, when the two of you shared your sweet nothings, when you reassures him that everything is going to be fine, and many of those beautiful memories you shared. Those kind smile that made his knees weak when he saw it, his only source of light.

voice hoarse from the air escaping your lungs you could only say; “maybe, in another life.. perhaps..” and just like that, the sweet taste of death took you away. His blazing eyes piercing through that dull ones of yours. He haven’t even gotten the chance to say “i love you.”

do you know how much he loves you? how much he cherishes you? even though he’s quiet, he likes to show his affections through actions. Do you know how much he would want to switch your destinies even if it meant that he dies? you probably don’t, but it’s too late now.

you already slipped away— away from his comforting arms.

Alhaitham, Rex Lapis/Zhongli, Diluc Ragnvindr, Xiao, Dainsleif, Cyno, Kamisato Ayato, Dan Heng, Blade, Jing Yuan, Welt Yang

a/n: nvm guys, im too lazy to add a taglist😁. Anyway, do you know how much i adore character death typa angst!?!❤️

#x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x gn reader #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #genshin impact #honkai star rail #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #zhongli x reader #zhongli #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr #xiao x reader #genshin xiao #dainsleif #dainsleif x reader #cyno x reader #cyno #kamisato ayato x reader #kamisato ayato #dan heng x reader #dan heng #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #welt yang x reader

[kazoohaa]

Hello, hello. Okay so hsr ask, and Lynx happened and brain went “hmm”

What if reader is Serval’s s/o, but sometime after they start dating reader’s sent to the arctic plains for some reason and they meet Lynx. Become friends, found sibling dynamic even, and then conveniently Lynx is scheduled to head back to Belobog city at the same time as reader. In the way back, reader brings up the whole “hey Lynx, there’s something that might come up, it’s not that important but imkindadatingserval” “…wait, WHAT”(idk im just spitballing i’m sorry I think I need more sleep) and how she reacts to the relationship(I suppose at this point Gerpard’s there too). Bonus points if Serval tries to use the gf card to get reader to tell her and Gepard who Lynx is taking a trip with(it’s in Lynx’s quest in case you haven’t gotten to it) and either reader caves or hopefully they keep Lynx’s secret and just tell the sibs that she’s going with someone they know and openly think highly of(Pela)

Oh wow, that’s long, tl:dr Serval x Reader who’s friends with Lynx (and I hope it wasn’t hard to read)

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓?! honkai star rail

— notes. this is a cute idea lmaoojhfkd,,, though it turned into bullet point format halfway because i got a bit lazy 😞

— details. lynx & reader who's serval's s/o

before, you would’ve believed that there would be no reason for you to ever explore the snow plains — all that was out there was snow, and traces of what used to be — but above all, there was the fragmentum. the only reason you went in the first place wasn’t because of your own curiosities; no, you treasured your life more than willingly exposing yourself to monsters and endangering yourself in the sheer cold. you went out to the snow plains because of a favour.

and on said trip, you came across a blonde-haired girl donning a fluffy cat-eared beanie — that’s how you came to know lynx. she knew her way around things in these snowy outskirts much better than you did, and she didn’t seem to mind giving you directions to the specific area you were trying to find. everything looked the same, anyway — it’s all thickly blanketed in layers of snow. you surely would’ve gotten a bit lost without a guide around.

originally, you hoped that this trip would be your first and your last. you didn’t have any plans to return to the snow plains, not when remaining within the walls of the city of belobog, safe from the frost, was already perfectly fine. but over time, after getting to know the girl who eventually became like a little sister figure to you, your aversion to the idea of having another trip to the snow plains — and willingly this time — was.. gradually decreased. with a bit of convincing, you went to see the auroras with her.

you’d mentioned it in passing to serval during one conversation. “you know my sister?” she replied with surprise, smiling as she leaned on her workshop counter. “she’s your sister?” you repeated incredulously. over the duration of your friendship with lynx, she’d mentioned family at some point, but she never actually said who they were. you wouldn’t have thought that she was related to your girlfriend — there were surely some similarities, but you didn’t want to just assume. but the more you thought about it, the more you realised that the two were actually quite similar...

“well, if you’re the one accompanying her, i’m sure i could trust that the both of you will be safe.” serval laughed, and in the true fashion of an older sister, she spent some time telling you some cute or funny anecdotes about lynx (and gepard too, in some) when the three of them were younger.

the knowledge of this had been in your mind the entire time during your stargazing and aurora-watching trip with lynx. you tried to bring it up as casually as possible on the way back..

“hey, lynx?”

“yeah?” she replied, double-checking the items within her rucksack.

“well, i thought i should tell you — i’m... dating your sister..?”

that’s when she stopped walking. “you’re what??”

you’re dating serval? since when? wait, and how long have you known that they’re related? were you able to tell from the beginning? or did serval already tell you about her before you met? have you known the entire time? oh no, are you secretly telling serval and gepard when she takes her trips?? ...did they send you to try and look after her?!

you reassured lynx that although you’ve been dating serval for a while before you met her, finding out that they were siblings was actually only a recent discovery.

it isn’t really lynx’s business who her sister dates, nor does she have any sort of control over it.. but after the revelation that you’re her lover, the youngest landau’s perception of you changes slightly. (it’s nothing bad, it’s just the shock of it getting to her.) but, well, over the duration of your friendship, you seemed like a pretty good person.. so nothing changes too much, really. lynx can trust you.

serval indeed does try to pull the girlfriend card in an attempt to convince you to tell her and gepard who lynx is meeting up with in the snow plains other than you. it’s.. sort of peer pressure, cornered there with the both of them asking you. should you side with lynx, or side with serval..??

you understand their worry, of course — as older siblings, serval and gepard are just concerned about the safety of their little sister. but lynx wants to be more independent, and doesn’t like being coddled by them so much.

..in the end, you do cave (peer pressure smh)

surely, if they know that it’s just pela, they’ll relax about it. since lynx is having these trips with someone who’s both familiar and trustworthy to the two of them, there’s nothing to worry about.

plus, that means they won’t have to do any snooping (or send someone else to do any snooping for them), and lynx won’t have to find out that her older siblings were trying to do anything. so really it’s a win-win in the end?

#🗒 . writing #💌 . mail #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #star rail #serval x reader #lynx hsr #serval landau #lynx landau #gepard landau

[muzanswaifu]

Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:

It's less about his character and more about the way ppl talk about him and narrative around him in a lot of current stuff. The way everyone try to bend over backwards to prove how his reasons to turn Darth Vader were somehow noble or good when almost every single bad guy in Star Wars (expect Palpatine and that guy who taught him) have much more sympathetic history and reasons and how he's not a bad person bc he cried a few times while doing atrocities. And how everyone else gets the blame for all his shortcomings ('they did it but never taught him!!!' -he literally parrotos this same lessons to his own student, it's obvious he knows better but chooses to not apply to himself anything that is slightly uncomfortable to him). Like, I love characters being genuinely not good people as much as a next guy but let's not pretend they're good people actually

the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to. THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth

BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM

Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help

Propaganda why Tim Jackson Drake is insufferable:

oh man. i've had enough of this duckboy (as the protag, he's tolerable in yj and stuff.) like when tim is the protag every character in the story becomes Worse. lady shiva gets nerfed. steph is turned into jealous hormonal catfight girl. helena is dumbified and too womanly to function (they have a nice dynamic as long as tim isn't the protag). cassie and tim were great in yj98, but as soon as he is The Protag then she is his best friend's girlfriend and they're barely friends anymore. cass is turned into a rapist. dick is turned into a lazy mediocre robin. jason turns into fucky wucky dumb brute yaoi stalker boyfriend who is suddenly obsessed with tim's awesome skills. 10 y.o. damian somehow deserves to be put on a hitlist because he's a savage and tim is civilized. Sometimes the story is bogged own with tim's internal or external lectures about their flaws and how they need to be better (better like him), except for dick HMMMM wonder why that is. probbly wouldn't be so bothered if tim wasn't crammed into the spotlight of every crossover in the 90s and early 00s and then so much of dc and the fandom wave it around as the peak era of comicbooks. like im sorry. he is not a relatable protag. like the editors literally told newspapers that he was created for gen x white dudes who blow their money on comics and merch, the info is on wikipedia.

White twink rich boy who always has to be smartest bestest boy even when he is a part of a whole group of smartest bestest ppl (aka bat family as a whole, like he's literally THE Mary sue of a group of Mary sues) at expense of literally everyone else

His definitive writer is a conservative Republican. His series is full of moral PSAs, *dumb* *hormonal* girls getting into catfights over him, and blatant sexism and racism. He gives anti-marijuana speeches to a standing ovation, he lectures about how babies need a father and a mother, and sex is for marriage. Other characters suddenly become stupid around him so that he looks smart. The other characters talk about how he is the best, nicest, smartest Robin ever and ALL the others were dumber and meaner than he is, even the one that mentored him. He as a grown adult man is canonically still bitter about ""his"" child sidekick role being given to an actual child (fans pretend he is the victim of this on both sides—nope he's the adult fighting a child for the child sidekick role, no adult wanted to replace him). Did I mention that this character is the amazing pure white boy, and his 10-year-old successor is painted as a savage Arab terrorist who needs to be put in his place? T*m is a 5'9""+ adult grown man, not a delicate sensitive baby boy.

#anakin skywalker #star wars #tim drake #dc comics #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

[ruanais]

A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-

hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3

@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D

@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !

@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D

@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3

@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!

@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3

@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-

@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO

@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3

@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!

@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(

@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!

@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3

@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!

@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D

@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3

for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(

— ur dearest rua <3

also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j

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#BUT OMFG #IM GONNA MISS U GIYS #I WAS SOBBINV A RIVER WRITING THIS :( #AUGH #LEMME CRY IN A CORNER #I WANTED TO RAMBLE SM ABT MY BF IN HERE BUT RUANAIS ERA HAS ENDED D: #BUT THABK YOU #:( #sobs #lets meet if I ever have another account when I get out of this hell called uni