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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

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OBEY ME! CHAPTER 51 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

MC goes out looking for them, in the music room the record player starts on its own. MC ends up wondering the empty house on their own, ending up in the library. They reminisce about a conversation with the brothers where they were debating who the real killer of the OG HoL family was. With Asmo & Beel (Beel because he can never imagine family killing each other despite how bad things get and Oh Beel you Sweet sugar plum welcome to the human world~ it be like that sometimes) saying it was the servant, Belphie saying it was a stranger (cause the oldest and the servant are too obvious, and maybe the oldest wasn’t killed cause he was not home at the time) and Satan & Mammon saying it was the oldest brother (with Mammon defending his choice by saying that as they are always the meanest and nastiest it’ll be in an oldest brother’s nature, but also that in the story the oldest never got along with his siblings), Mammon’s argument makes Levi join team oldest. MC chooses who the killer was (it was the oldest c’mon! the guy bought a gun days before a similar model was used to shoot and kill his entire family, and he was seeing arguing with the servant the day before the murder). MC then gets a call on their DDD, and you can choose whether it’s from Satan or Simeon.

MC tells whoever calls what’s going on, while cats shriek in the background of the call (poor Simeon…) One cat is climbing and scratching Satan, Da Vinci and Michelangelo are fighting and the call is kept. They remember more times in the HoL; Lucifer trying to get Belphie to stop napping in the library cause it’s too cold and he’ll get sick, Asmo cooing over how adorable Belphie is asleep, Mammon & Levi arguing about money (Levi: give me my money back Mammon: Chill. Soon. Levi: What’s soon? In 30s? In 1min? In 1min 30s? Mammon: is getting your money back on your bucket list and you’re wondering if you’re gonna croak soon? I dunno I thought it was funny…), Satan yelling at them to find another place to fight cause he’s reading, Beel watching a gory horror movie and devouring snacks, MC is asked if they like horror movies. If they say they like it Lucifer says it’s good that they don’t scare easily, Asmo says they can handle any situation with cool and calm, Levi says they’ve already conquered 7 of the devildom’s most powerful demons so really what’s there to it, Mammon says that either way MC has nothing to worry about, Lucifer agrees adding that they’ll always have the brothers at their side (why is this so sweet?????). MC pines for them rn and tries to reassure themself only to satan to ask them what’s wrong and if they missed him that much (and this is the point irl where I would have taken the nearest solid object and chucked it at his head but MC’s made of stronger stuff)

Simeon is there as well and Satan is covered in powder (he’d been testing a new drink flavour which pissed all the cats and now he’s covered in the flavouring. Simeon says that wouldn’t have happened if there were no cats in the café in the first place. Satan says they are an improvement. Simeon – poor fellow – still has no idea why Satan thinks he wanted a cat cafe), MC screams wtf and they explain that Barbatos had dropped by and they’d asked him to portal them to MC and why hadn’t they done this in the first place? I mean ik they probably all wanted to spend time together via a mini vacation and all 3 of them are probably too scatter brained to think of Barbatos on their own but why did no one else suggest Barbatos? Barbatos had apparently being fuming cause he’d gone to the café to take a small break from his man-child of a boss and his other 24/7 duties only to be placed in charge of a café full of manic cats. Satan thinks being stuck in a cat café is heavenly, Simeon disagrees and says Barbatos will find a way to get back them. MC tells them calm the fuck down cause your brother and your son are missing! Satan says he is calm, heavily implying he was seconds away from losing his shit. Simeon changes the subject by saying that the imitation HoL looks like a carbon copy of the OG, Satan says the books in the library (where they currently are) are different to the ones back home and that the ones in this house are more to satan’s taste than the ones back home. Simeon notes that they all seem to be about art. Satan picks up an odd book out, it’s old and ragged with a picture of a pink geranium on it. The title is Ma…14-31 with the middle part faded out. Simeon stresses that they should be focused on finding the others but both Satan & MC wanna open the weird book. Simeon manages to drag them away though to search for the others and come back to the book but when he opens the door out of the library they’re enveloped in a bright white light.

They end up in a brightly lit forest, with Satan wondering tf happened and Simeon saying he recognises the place, an unknown voice asks who’s there, revealing angel!Beel dncjndsjND is MC time travelling AGAIN!? How many times are they gonna fuck up history!? Also what about Satan!? Man’s gonna lose his shit!!? Also I desperately wish MC remembered their last trip to the past just so they could be like ‘lol hey guys long time no see’ and Satan & Simeon would just ???????!!!?? Beel (who’s a gate protector angel? Something like that) asks who they are and MC (who unfortunately remembers nothing) goes “Beel!? Tf you wearing” and he goes “tf are you”, Satan is stunned silent and Simeon soothes things over by being Simeon. Beel asks Simeon who MC and Satan are and he says they are his acquaintances – MC and Sully…….SULLY!! SULLY !!? SULLY!!!!? Out of respect to everyone named sully I won’t say anything, ANYWAY satan has the same issues with the name Sully as I do but Simeon whispers and tells him he doesn’t know if they’re in the past, in an AU or something else entirely so it’d be safer to keep the name ‘Satan’ a secret. Simeon asks what Lucifer’s doing and Beel tells him that he’s at the Celestial Palace, with Michael and the other higher ups which should include Simeon. Simeon says yes but “you see these two idiots here behind me are so fucking dumb they fell into a hidden pit and called me to rescue them because they were too fucking dumb to remember that as angels they have both magic and wings” Satan has the same issues with that excuse as I do. Simeon asks about the brothers, Beel says the same as usual. Levi’s holed up in his room cause he fears he’ll be made redundant with the end of the war (so this takes place around the same time as the last trip to the past). Satan mumbles about Levi being the same even back when he was an angel, MC asks whether Satan remembers anything from when his brothers were angels, he says he has broken fragmented memories from their times as angels because he only sometimes was able to see through Lucifer’s eyes (and I just realised how similar Satan and MC are? They’re both relatively newcomers to the family, biologically they’re nothing like the brothers and probably the rest of their species (Satan being born from Lucifer’s rage and MC having a fallen angel as an ancestor), they both accidentally became part of the family with Lucifer having no choice when all the others were picked by him, they’re both cool, collected and calm but hide destructive magic, from everyone else in the HoL they’re the more normal ones but are also up for stupid shenanigans, they’re both pretty considerate and seem to show affection through acts of service – with how they look out for the others and their needs and likes, neither are scared to talk back to Lucifer, neither have met any of the celestial realm higher ups or know the workings of the celestial realm, neither have really met Lilith, they both had some kinda beef with Lucifer, they were never part of the war between the demons and angels or part of the fight before the Fall, their few memories of the Celestial realm come from either what they saw through Lucifer or what Lilith showed them, they’re the only ones in the family who are biologically related to someone else who either is or was part of the family, they’re stubborn and hardworking, and because right after the Fall and after Lilith’s death I’d imagine Lucifer being broken and regretful of what he see as his decisions - fuelled by his anger - leading to her death and seeing Satan being created from all that overwhelming anger and pain…he probably saw it as everything he did wrong manifesting in the form of a person. As I said earlier I’m pretty sure Mammon’s the one who raised Satan considering he was the one doing a lot of the heavy lifting during the early days of the fall and Lucifer would only later come to acknowledge Satan, and as far as we know he’s only ever acknowledged that he’s technically Satan’s father twice and by this point after years of the two of them avoiding the topic Satan reacts to that acknowledgment with understandable anger but at some point right at the beginning I’d bet a much younger Satan wanted to be accepted and acknowledged by Lucifer, specially after all the others did so. What I’m trying to say is that MC and Satan’s initial relationships with Lucifer were probably similar too with Lucifer being mostly polite and even somewhat protective over them but also being distant and prickly while he tried to determine whether they were a threat to the rest of his brothers, while they resented him, butted heads with him and wanted to be acknowledged and accepted by him in equal measures after everyone else had already accepted them. Also in S1, specially towards the end, MC making pacts with the brothers became less about freeing Belphie and more about proving something to Lucifer – while Satan always seems to have something to prove to Lucifer. Overall, Satan and MC have a lot of similarities and a severely underrated friendship that I really wanna explore more of – I want them coming to each other for problems that the others won’t understand them having, to talk about the few memories they have of the celestial realm, to diss Lucifer, to talk constantly containing destructive power/anger in them, just I need more of them. Plus would Belphie also have had issues with Satan, initially? I mean imagine your older brother coming to you and saying “so your little sister died in my arms but check out this other kid I just gave birth to”. I dunno Belphie’s grief and anger was irrational thousands of years after Lilith’s death when he blamed her death on the entire human race and you know not the people who actually shot the arrow that killed her (really need to talk about this too), so I can’t even imagine what he would have been like when the loss was still raw and not even a minute after her death Lucifer’s somehow found some new sibling for them.) Right enough rambling. Back to it. Beel says he’s looking for Belphie. Mammon turns up and asks who the shit MC and Satan are, Satan is once again speechless, Asmo’s with Mammon and calls the two of them cuties – poor Satan doesn’t like that one bit. Levi asks for their names and Simeon introduces them – Mammon seems highly suspicious of them, but Asmo accepts it in stride and says ‘Sully’ is an adorable name. Satan looks like he wants to throw hands. Simeon says that he has an idea where Belphie might be and that he & MC will go find him and has asks the others to look after Sully for him. Satan immediately protests but Beel agrees and Levi drags Satan along with them, while Mammon contemplates putting Satan to work to help with whatever they were doing which Satan complains more about (and isn’t this a topsy turvy world), Asmo helps to pull Satan along and Satan screams about where exactly Asmo is putting his hands – Asmo is merely flattered about Satan knowing his name. Satan screams for help as MC and Simeon turn to leave.

Simeon is giggling evilly about Satan’s face when they left him, MC notes he looked happy, Simeon agrees – shocked and freaked out but happy. Simeon said he didn’t leave him back just to be mean but instead because Satan was curious about his brothers’ celestial realm days. MC says “yeah sure you didn’t leave him just to be mean”, Simeon laughs and insists he’s “a nice angel” in the fakest way possible. Simeon says he loves the Celestial Realm air but that this doesn’t feel like the past. MC asks him what past Simeon would be up to – Michael and Lucifer were bossing him around and running him ragged, he says that hasn’t changed since then and that the both of them are sadists at heart who love making things harder for people (Luke vs Simeon’s view of Michael are so different it’s jarring but I also have the picture of someone who looks and acts like Lucifer’s complete opposite with a sweet, sunny personality hiding a cutting, cruel in the same was Lucifer is, even prideful person underneath it all. I just love characters who look and act kind but could and would murder you in cold blood if it benefited their cause),when he wrote TSL – he wrote it after the brother’s left cause he missed them. “No offense to Luke and Satan, who haven’t been born yet but this was the most fun period of my life,” says Simeon to a person who also hasn’t been born yet (also how are angels born? We know that all though there are lots of similarities between the Celestial Realm & the Devildom and Heaven & Hell they aren’t the same places at all, Lucifer refers to God as Father and I’m assuming the other brothers do as well but they’ve said before none of the brothers are actually related to each other, I always assumed God just poofed them into existence. But then how was Luke specifically born? Because it’s heavily implied that Michael is in charge of the Celestial Realm the same way Diavolo is, meaning God – like the Demon King – is probably maybe taking a power nap and Luke is only some hundred years old so he’s probably way after God’s time so how was he and all the newer angels created? I’m 100% sure most of the demons in the Devildom – Diavolo included – were biologically reproduced so did angels learn to do that? Does Luke have parents? But then Raphael saw a normal human party as immoral so, even after so long, I can’t see them promoting sex so then did Michael poof Luke? But if so wouldn’t Luke call Michael Father, the same way Lucifer called God Father? Or is there some cosmic magic energy that poofs out new angels? You guys ever watched that first animated Tinkerbell movie where she was still learning to be a tinker fairy? Remember how she was created? The little dandelion seed that was mixed with that gold glowing fairy dust & magic mixture until it spit out a person? that’s how I imagine OM! Angels are created minus the dandelion part. Swirling unknowable natural magic that mixes with emotions and cosmic matter it draws from its surroundings till it creates an angel.) Simeon makes MC stop and kick a tree as hard as they can (which they do without question) until Belphie falls out.

After Belphie is introduced to MC he asks if they’ve met before and MC very lowkey gaslights him for the sake of the already fucked timeline and Simeon tells him Beel is looking for him. (MC can also tell Belphie they live together and he now considers them a crazy person, unless they are the rat in the attic that’s taken a humanoid form in which case he’s gonna avoid them for the rest of eternity). Belphie says Lucifer had wanted him to do a job but he ‘lol noped’ outta there and now he’s recruiting MC and Simeon to help him with who knows what cause he refuses to explain when MC asks. Belphie is surprised that Simeon has two angels assigned to him and Simeon asks if he’s too much of a low level grunt to be given two angels and Belphie’s like “Dude you’re literally one of the highest ranking people here” and Simeon’s like “oh shit lol we’re in the past” and MC’s absolutely unhinged curiosity and unwillingness to let something go only strikes at the odd moment so they never bother asking how Simeon went from one of the most powerful people in the Celestial Realm to a low level grunt (fucking idiot). Belphie hears Simeon’s oh shit comment and asks what he said, Simeon lies through his teeth and MC comments on angels lying. Simeon gave us the whole white lies speech that our parents gave us at some point. Belphie insists that MC’s familiar and MC suggests in a dream, which Belphie takes cause when you spent most your time asleep reality starts getting warped. Belphie makes Simeon and MC carry 6 blankets, when MC asks what exactly Lucifer made Belphie do he says he made him go get blankets for 6 people & that Lucifer had just given them a list of stuff to get and none of them knew what for. Belphie says that Lucifer’s being gone a lot lately cause the prince of the Devildom keeps calling for him (and so this is definitely after MC’s first visit now and I loved the Devilgram about Lucifer & Diavolo’s first meeting but I need detailed backstory about every meeting since then, about how Lucifer started slowly warming up to Diavolo, how Diavolo was always in awe of him despite how much of a prick he was, how he slowly started doubting the celestial realm and seeing things Diavolo’s way, how he felt like the Celestial Realm was lying to him about how things should be, how he should be and that started building up his resentment and anger that would one day turn into Satan, how he felt more comfortable in the Devildom than he ever had in the celestial realm, how much guilt and anger towards himself all this made feel, I mean all this is briefly touched upon in the devilgram but I need it in depth pls someone come scream at me about this!) Belphie says today is Lucifer’s first free afternoon in a long while. Outside the door they hear Mammon yelling at Satan to catch something.

Outside Levi and Satan are trying to catch fluffy eggs (multi coloured eggs with wings), Levi calls Satan “Sully dear” when he tells him to watch his step which Satan takes great offense to. Satan makes a plan that leads to Levi catching all 6. Asmo comments on how despite just meeting they make a perfect team. They go to the brothers’ secret room where the others were making fluffy egg sandwiches on Lucifer’s orders until Beel let them escape. Beel says he didn’t mean to let them escape cause he only wanted to eat them and Mammon says that’s worse (love to see that Beel’s taken MC’s advice from their previous visit and is not trying to control his snacking). Mammon leaves MC in charge of making sure Beel doesn’t eat the sandwiches and asks Beel when he became so food crazy and he says lately he’s been getting more hungry than normal (I like to think that yeah this is Beel unconsciously following MC’s advice to give in to his urges but also Beel and the rest of the brothers unknowingly already starting their fall into being demons as they become more discontent living in the celestial realm during peacetimes). Satan tells Levi to put only thinner layer of butter on the bread and levi does so, Asmo says that there’s something about MC and ‘Sully’ that makes it feel like despite just meeting them that day it feels like they’ve all known each other much longer (I love how Satan just immediately fits into the group dynamics showing that even though he wasn’t there in the beginning he was always meant to be and how both this and last time MC’s just easily accepted like ‘yeah here’s this weird new angel they’re sticking with us now’). Belphie agrees saying he feels like he’s known them forever. Simeon asks MC and ‘Sully Dear’ if they heard that and that it seems like they all share a special bond. Sully dear takes extreme offense to his new nickname. Asmo tells MC and ‘Sully Dear’ that they’ve now been adopted into the family and that any attempt to resist will be futile. MC tells Asmo that it may not be possible. Belphie’s sad. Beels acts like they didn’t say anything and just repeats that they should stay with them. Mammon adds a ‘forever’ onto the end of that and that Lucifer will make it happen cause there’s nothing he can’t do (do you think if Lucifer stayed in the celestial realm he would have just kept on adopting random misfits and oddballs?). Satan’s daddy issues pop up at the mention of Lucifer and he says that even back then Lucifer was pompous with an over inflated ego (something I like about OM! Is how Satan’s deep issues with Lucifer are never resolved after one wacky adventure. They’re deep and old enough that it’ll take a long time to be fixed but progress is being made after each therapy session with Satan even if there’s the occasional regression. It makes it feel much more real). Satan’s annoyed enough about Lucifer that he doesn’t bother lowering his volume so the brothers end up staring at him silently. Probably shouldn’t have dissed Lucifer in front of people who think he’s the best thing ever. Period. Y’know since sliced bread probably hadn’t been invented at the time. Actually when was sliced bread invented? Wait. July 7 1928. Also apparently sliced bread is banned in the US? Is that true? Oh shit okay I actually read through the article and this happened during WWII and the ban was lifted 3 months later. Also it’s implied the saying “the best thing since sliced bread” originated from Americans pushing back against the ban. Look I don’t wanna start discourse about sliced bread but this one lady wrote to the new york times about how she had to slice 22 pieces of bread everyday to feed her family and like yeah I hate cutting bread too but like damn I’m not gonna write to the papers about it, some people are just so goddamned passionate but then again I don’t need to cut 22 slices of bread everyday – maybe I’d be passionate too in her circumstances)

Mammon, Lucifer’s #1 lil lapdog, says he has no idea what sully’s smoking to be talking about ‘back in these days’ but calling Lucifer ‘pompous with an overinflated ego’ is going too far, Satan’s dumbstruck by Mammon’s betrayal because despite everything Mammon’s always been there ready to badmouth Lucifer. Beel says Lucifer’s a good guy who always thinks about them and does what’s best for them (so it’s the same as now except he doesn’t try to hide all that behind 36 layers of assholery). Belphie says he can be easily misunderstood because he’s cold and blunt. Satan comments on everyone up here loving Lucifer (so it’s the same as now except they don’t try to hide it all behind 36 layers of assholery). Asmo asks why they wouldn’t love him when he’s their ‘beautiful, strong big brother’ and that they’re all proud of him (guys Satan’s seconds away from losing his shit and this is the last chapter dbksnkdsjksdnk next lesson the entire Celestial Realm gets reduced to rubble as Satan goes on a rampage rip). Levi says Lucifer looks after him even though he’s totally useless (he says it so casually too I don’t know whether to laugh or cry). Asmo & Belphie says they don’t know how well Sully knows Lucifer but if he knew him properly it’ll be impossible not to love him (honestly that’s true I hated him till we started learning more about him and now he’s my second favourite character! Guess who’s my first, I bet you can’t!). Satan’s absolutely dumbfounded by the suggestion. Simeon agrees with them saying it’s time to mend fences and maybe Satan can take the first step. Satan seems upset, realising that Simeon left him with the brothers in the hopes that they’d get through to him about Lucifer but then he gets pissed demanding if Simeon set up this whole journey to the past thing. Simeon denies it and tells satan to calm his tits. But Satan’s on a role now, asking if he’s doing it for the status, if he gets Satan and Lucifer to work things out he’ll get prestige amongst the angels which honestly makes no sense but anger rarely makes you rational so whatever. He goes on to ask if Simeon hoped he could control Satan, the same way Lucifer does (and hoo boy the issues. I like to imagine MC’s contemplating jumping out the window right about now.) Simeon tries to deny all of this but is cut off by Satan saying that Simeon thinks Satan needs to understand where Lucifer’s coming from and how he’s not so bad but that Satan doesn’t like Simeon telling him what to do and that he can’t believe Simeon created a whole illusion just to get what he wanted. And then he’s screaming about how if Lucifer is so precious to Simeon he should try being “Lucifer’s sweet, obedient little brother” (to be fair the idea of being micromanaged by your father who doesn’t even want to admit to being your father is very shudder inducing). The brothers obviously where no idea what the fuck is going on (MC has created a rope by tying blankets together and is now rappelling down through the window), Levi stutters and asks what Sully’s talking about, Beel asks if he and Lucifer have history, Satan looks shocked and sad for a second before he storms out (probably not a good idea considering what he is, where they are and when they are). Asmo seems upset he left, Mammon seems agitated and wonders wtf his deal was. Simeon says he hadn’t meant to set him off like that and that after all of MC’s therapy sessions Satan would have been more open to talking about everything but that he realises that Satan’s progressing at his own pace. MC knowing their job is never over (climbs back up through the window) offers to go after him. Simeon thanks them and says he feels terrible and will apologise but to spare Simeon’s head being ripped from his shoulders MC really should go smooth things over first. They find Satan in the woods looking sad and ask if he’s okay, he doesn’t reply. They can either hug him or take his hand. Hugging leads to a kiss there’s no choice (whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy let MC hug their friends and give the option to kiss or not instead of them both being to kiss). They sit silently together under the trees, holding hands and looking up at the Celestial Palace and this is the sweetest type of silent understanding that I love. After Satan’s calmed down he says MC can leave and go back to the others now. Just before they can answer they are confronted by Lucifer who asks them who they are and what they’re doing there. And that’s the end :))))))))))))))) Next Lesson’s either gonna be a long ass therapy session or a full out street fight can’t wait

#obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me!#swd obey me #my posts #my theories #shall we date? obey me!#obey me shall we date

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Amber & Cosmo

Amber: [Okay so I’m just gonna write my diabolical idea here so we know how it’s kicking off, basically whenever Dash and Amber hooked up- which was long ago enough that he should but hasn’t given her the stash back but literally never long enough ago that it won’t be gross to Cosmo that this happened, soz boy- she thought they were doing so in Dash’s bedroom but it’s actually his brother’s so when she comes back looking for her stash/anything she can replace it with, she’s actually ransacking Cosmo’s room and we know it’s blatantly because he lied that he didn’t have any drugs when he in fact did so he’s an all around lovely boy]

Amber: [picture the scene of him walking into his own room like wtf and then she has to hurriedly explain all of the above and then I figure I can start this convo when she’s for real in Dash’s room searching the right one lol]

Amber: I’m so so so sorry

Amber: I can’t find the words…

Cosmo: [The levels we would’ve been like GET OUT without terrifying her into fully leaving, in our room fuming rn]

Cosmo: Did you take any of my shit?

Amber: I’m not here for anything that isn’t mine, I told you

Cosmo: You said a lot

Cosmo: and fast

Cosmo: You’ll excuse me if I was more distracted by the more pressing issues like the stranger in my fucking room

Amber: Because you were saying the same thing again and again

Amber: and loud

Amber: my pressing issue was, and is, me not getting arrested

Cosmo: That’s your life choices

Cosmo: maybe don’t break and enter if you don’t wanna be worrying about that, there you go, pro-tip

Amber: Passive aggression towards me is understandable but please don’t threaten a real act of, you know I’m no burglar

Cosmo: I don’t know that, I don’t know who the hell you are

Amber: If you need to empty out my pockets to be sure, I’ve not left

Amber: yet

Cosmo: I can’t see anything missing

Amber: I feel stupid for not realising it couldn’t be his room

Amber: stupider

Cosmo: It’s an unpleasant way to find out he’s a piece of shit for you but you’ll be better off for knowing

Amber: Typically unfair of the universe not to let me have the information before we had sex

Cosmo: I might be more willing to extend sympathy if it weren’t in my fucking bed

Amber: Take mine because it was

Amber: but believe me that I didn’t know

Cosmo: Doesn’t change the fact

Cosmo: He’s fucking dead

Amber: I can’t change it now, but I’ll bring you some new sheets to show you the sorry was meant

Amber: and knock before I come through your window

Cosmo: Or you could just not, on both counts

Amber: if you want

Cosmo: Funny when someone breaks in you don’t really get much say

Amber: It’s your choice from here on though, I was being pushy when I thought it was your lying brother’s window

Cosmo: Generous

Cosmo: What are you even looking for?

Amber: 🌿 I borrowed my dad’s stash

Amber: borrowed is the important part

Cosmo: How does that work

Cosmo: except for not, clearly

Cosmo: You may as well go, ‘cos that will be long gone

Amber: Empty handed!? I can’t do that

Cosmo: Help yourself to any crap he’s got in there

Cosmo: doesn’t bother me

Amber: I don’t think there’s anything in here my father would accept as a 🕊

Cosmo: No shit

Cosmo: Unless he’s also got the taste of a wannabe hippie

Amber: Their wardrobes are unsurprisingly similar but he’d kill me if I brought home new items to replace the handful of old clothes he already owns

Cosmo: You’re one of them

Cosmo: Figures, only people who’ll associate with him at this point

Amber: Them?

Cosmo: You live in the compound

Amber: oh right 👽

Amber: yes, I’ve lived there for a few months

Cosmo: My sympathies on that one

Amber: 😂 Thanks, but even going back empty handed wouldn’t result in a RIP 🥤 ending, it’s okay

Cosmo: There’s hardly a shortage where that came from

Amber: or of worse places I could or have lived

Amber: Have you always lived here?

Cosmo: I’d phone social for you but the case is well-established already, I reckon

Cosmo: Dublin? Always

Cosmo: Better postcode for a bit but now just on the weekends

Amber: better because…?

Cosmo: All the reasons they put on the listings

Cosmo: price, location, near to whatever amenities you might want, idk, you know what better means

Amber: You forgot no strange girls climbing in your bedroom window, it was the perfect opportunity to stay angry at me

Amber: but this is better, agreed 🙃

Cosmo: I’m still angry, don’t worry

Cosmo: you’d not get anywhere near my dad’s windows

Amber: so you get the weekends off from me

Cosmo: I’m definitely not doing his dirty work for him, he doesn’t deserve that but neither do you so

Cosmo: If stealing your stash and not letting you in his room wasn’t hint enough, he’s not gonna make you his girlfriend, okay

Amber: I’m not THAT stupid, I don’t know what you got from first glance or this on going impression but it sounds like I don’t want to know

Cosmo: You aren’t going to be here every weekday then, that’s what I mean

Amber: I could be, I found a lot of spare rooms on the way to his, they’re not as nice as yours but they don’t have horrific memories attached

Amber: yet

Cosmo: We’re not looking for lodgers and you just moved

Amber: over half a year ago isn’t a just

Amber: Why don’t you want to live with me?

Cosmo: 😂

Cosmo: You’ve got jokes, at least, if not your stash

Amber: if you had manners you’d help me

Cosmo: You and my brother desecrated my bed

Cosmo: Why’d I owe you anything, like

Amber: You’re 🤬 at him, he’s owed us both getting our own back and I can’t do a good enough job at it on my own

Cosmo: You’ve got a point, alright

Cosmo: [Come in]

Amber: [picture her buried in this carnage because she’s so smol and his room was such a mess before she even got there, just looking at him as she’s trying unsuccessfully to like throw this mattress out of the window like hello]

Cosmo: [just walking over and taking that off her with ease because you’re tall, lean it against the wall like not gonna happen babe, because as much as we’d like to throw your mattress in the stinky pond, we don’t want to cause hassle for Ali or Billie because we’re a good boy unlike someone, rifle through the mess of clothes and put aside any that might be worth something, indicate as much by doing the money thing with your hands like kaching]

Amber: [at least she’ll be too busy being shamelessly impressed by how tall and strong you are to pout about it, so you’re welcome but also lowkey not because like I said shameless haha]

Cosmo: [at least you can maintain eye contact and look at her right back as you’re like ‘what?’ ‘cos you don’t not know what you look like lol]

Amber: [sitting down on a skateboard that’s on the floor because the bed would be off limits even if the mattress wasn’t on the lean ‘what are we doing?’ like we need do more than raid his clothes if we wanna really annoy him but also the saucy undertone is obvious especially because eye contact hasn’t been broken remotely]

Cosmo: [shrugs ‘he doesn’t care about anything’ but not as offhand as that sounds because we are constantly and entirely at a loss with him ‘take what will make it worth it for you’ break that eye contact to look around like hmm]

Amber: [rolls the skateboard at him but obvs in a playful not aggressive manner cos we’re getting up as if to leave like ‘it was nice to meet you’ because not at all unspoken vibe of that makes it worth it for me]

Cosmo: [pick it up as we raise a brow half like was it and half yeah it was ‘cos duh ‘these are pricey-’ gesture to all the skateboards lying about with the one you’re now holding ‘and easier to get out the window’]

Amber: [sitting on said window ledge rn because even if it’s a tiny one so is she and we were gonna climb out before he made that suggestion DUH ‘maybe but what’ll I do with them’ looks down at self and her aesthetic because we’re nothing if not self aware baby ‘other than string one of the wheels onto a necklace’]

Cosmo: [a small lol but in a yeah that’s true look at you way without being THE RUDEST ‘put ‘em in a sock and you’ve got a weapon’ does the thing where you pick something up with your toes on some laundry ‘I’d supply your own sock though’ like ew]

Amber: [a lol of her own at his monkey footed antics and opening the window like that sock is THE GROSSIEST and it stinks in here which lbr isn't that much of an exaggeration 'the creativity doesn't sweeten the deal enough that part of it would be allowing me to use violence for conflict resolution, sadly' a pout 'but admitting you want me to stay here instead of trying to get me kicked out of there remains an option, thankfully' a grin like 😁]

Cosmo: [at least you can throw some of his clothes out the window without affecting your mother and grandmother so doing that without touching anything truly DISGUSTANG but giving her a look as if that suggestion is, but with a 😏 ‘cos don’t need to go that hard with the rudeness rn ‘we’d charge more rent’]

Amber: [looks around at the stuff he has already said is worth money before hopping down from the window to pick up a guitar Dash has obvs left lying around 'how much?']

Cosmo: [shrugs because not our bag ‘aren’t all instruments kinda expensive?’ ‘cos true unless it’s like a play guitar lmao]

Amber: ['instruments in this condition are, sure' because we're blatantly holding a flashy electric guitar rn not a beat up acoustic like she's used to seeing all the hippies play 'but it can't have any sentimental value' like there's no point taking it if he's not even gonna notice]

Cosmo: [‘good luck with that’ like he don’t care about anything ‘cos that’s how it seems hen]

Amber: [such a face on because even though he's proved they weren't friends and he's a dick she at least thought his hippie vibe wasn't total bollocks but all this expensive shit hard-core goes against that so with a sigh and a shrug she's going back to the window like well I might as well leave then 'thanks anyway, and sorry, again']

Cosmo: [a noise like that’s simplifying things a bit, a psh if you will, ‘guess he fucked you over first’ but a sincere face to show we know he did ‘just don’t do this again’ gestures vaguely like what bit do you mean sir]

Amber: ['it's my dad's stash, not mine' as if that's the only thing Dash did wrong because we're not gonna get into the fact you've known him for months you thought and likewise thought you were friends as everyone just thinks you're a slutty hippie stereotype so you have no reason to believe it's not the same assumption here 'I'll find a different way to replace it']

Cosmo: [reach in your pocket like how much even though you are a bit 😒 because essentially paying for your dickhead brother’s habit rn]

Amber: ['no!' such a fierce shake of her head and such a fiercely angry face because it's not his debt or problem even if it was actually about the money/ drugs instead of the lies and Dash's shitty behaviour which turns into a sad face/head in hands moment when she says 'I was beginning to think I couldn't feel any worse about how I've treated you' and just really quietly basically under her breath adding 'stupid' because @ herself for everything including thinking this was a good idea and still being here]

Cosmo: [‘hey’ and moving forward but then moving back awkwardly just as fast ‘cos we don’t really know what to think about you rn, as is this weird situation you find yourselves in ‘forget about it, I’m fine’ add ‘and the bit that ain’t fine is on him so don’t feel bad, honestly’]

Amber: [at least you can't see that awkward move back and feel worse for that gal because even though he's right and it's not really your fault you feel bad 'it's my fault he used your room, plenty of other girls from the commune wouldn't and haven't insisted on going anywhere else, and mine too that I'm at your house again today...I should've let it go' because we're never gonna be the peace and love cliche soz parents but we know that's what you want]

Cosmo: [‘he’s owed worse’ like I get why you didn’t let it go, even if your method is dubious babe]

Amber: [a smile that’s genuine relief because who else gets it in your life remotely but then you remember that so you’re like ‘retribution delivered karmically not by me’ but we still haven’t left and we obviously don’t mean it and aren’t trying to pretend we do with our tone because we’re not at the commune now bitches fight us]

Cosmo: [‘good luck with that’ ‘cos same energy of that’s bullshit]

Amber: [a little lol because he literally typed exactly that earlier like okay boy I get it ‘I’m owed worse’ than bad luck or being called out on bullshit that isn’t even hers but he thinks is, both definitely]

Cosmo: [‘undoubtedly’ and a shrug like soz, life’s shit]

Amber: ['where did you get it?' Meaning the money he just tried to give her obvs because she's thinking she might have to get a job to pay her dad back and even though she's clearly worked out from what he said about a better postcode at the weekend and how much stuff Dash has and how he treats it that it's likely from his dad but we hate when people make assumptions about us so we're not trying to do that]

Cosmo: [‘I go to a football academy’ not in the braggy way that sounds just stating the fact, she’s probably not aware that means you get paid boy but go off ‘if you need the cash, you should just take it’ like seriously gal, looking at her like]

Amber: ['What's that like?' SO surprised and intrigued in all the ways not like you could NEVER boy but she's obviously never met anyone else who does anything like that and even more importantly just really driving the point home that we don't know a thing about you and how wild it is we are here having this convo not to mention you're literally offering us money again which we are gonna shake our head to again as we make yet more eye contact 'when I need the money, I'll figure it out for myself' not angry tone this time just stating a fact]

Cosmo: [When you don’t really know how to answer that ‘cos the assumption always is that it’s a dream come true obvs because it is a big opportunity but it’s still a job at the end of the day, one you start much younger than most kids even get a part-time so we’re kinda like what do you mean lmao ‘yeah, it’s great, better than wasting my time at normal school, like’ asking a question back ‘cos not rude ‘you go to school?’ ‘cos undoubtedly aware loads of the commune lot don’t]

Amber: [‘I'm picturing the hunger games with a football' cos we are and that's what we mean lol because normal school is savage enough never mind something so focused on talent and competitiveness like 'are you a scorer?' Bringing back her adorably not knowing football terms and it's like it makes sense you would thrive there if you are and that type haha, nodding our answer to his question 'my dad teaches the kids who don't go' as if that's the only reason we go to school]

Cosmo: [little lol ‘maybe when you’re younger’ ‘cos obviously not all of you make it ‘but we all have pro contracts now, the deadweight is gone’ pop off with the basic explanation of your position on the team for her, we know the vibe hun, nods back ‘better than nothing, I guess’ but we clearly don’t really think so ‘you’re in his year?’ part sympathy part disgust lmao]

Amber: [obviously gonna ask him who his contract is with and if she can see him play but I won't commit you to picking a real team if you don't want to it's just to show that she's genuinely interested because likewise asking him other relevant questions when he's explaining the position he plays etc 'I don't mind school, being in the year above him definitely helps’ because my vibe is she would like school for lots of reasons but she's also Lowkey struggling a lot with it hence she doesn't really have time for a job rn very past me energy of having to do schoolwork until you literally go to bed]

Cosmo: [‘I don’t think it’ll be your scene’ and such a look of confusion that she asked like what do you want, suspish lol, smile though ‘that’s something’ ‘cos no one should have to suffer Dash in our opinion lmao]

Amber: ['Why not?' Such a genuine question but we aren't mad yet because we've clearly never been to a football match before so he might have a valid reason for thinking that and gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and obviously gonna throw something vaguely school related out of the window but nothing that would inconvenience your poor mother or nan though like yeah it's gonna be very important to me that we don't have to cross paths at school as well cos livid lol]

Cosmo: [‘Come on, you don’t think it’s all meat pies and

misogynists, like?’ with a 😏 energy ‘people like you are more likely to run onto the pitch with a sign than sit in the stands’ shakes head ‘sure he skives loads anyway, as the rest of this house actually has places to be and can’t keep a constant eye on him like the kid he is’ like you’ll barely have to see him, don’t worry, probs true]

Amber: [a lol ' are you saying it is or just that you don't want someone like me waving a sign with your name on from the stands?' Ignoring the Dash stuff entirely because now we know what a knob he is we are so over him]

Cosmo: [who can possibly say energy because that’s amused us lowkey]

Amber: ['I wanna see you play' because we do]

Cosmo: [‘why?’ because the levels we’re like WHAT DO YOU WANT cannot be overstated lmao]

Amber: [' Because I think it sounds fun, why don't you want me to?']

Cosmo: [‘if you want to go to a football match, you can’ like you don’t need to come to mine, which sounds ruder than we mean it, just pointing this out]

Amber: [the poutiest because rude and also we aren't stupid we're aware of that thank you boy 'and hold up a sign saying what, for who?' Because duh the fun is cheering you on sir]

Cosmo: [‘We don’t do cheerleaders’ but looking at her slightly less suspish and more curious]

Amber: ['okay, I won't wear the outfit, your loss' accidentally very saucy mental image soz not soz]

Cosmo: [we’re getting such slag vibes ‘cos of how this has all gone down so we’re like steady on gal ‘cos we’re not trying to put out that we’ll get on you ‘cos we know you’ve got previous, not that kinda boy, very #awks on your behalf ‘funny’]

Amber: [Ngl love that because she’s really not but he’s gonna keep thinking this for ages if she hooks up with a random at the clerb again this time and when she dates this old ass dude despite the fact it’s the first time she’s done either haha ‘Pom poms are usually plastic’ spoken like plastic is a swear word lol ‘and tissue paper isn’t recyclable either, environmentally responsible arts and crafts are the limit’]

Cosmo: [rolls eyes but not in the sarky energy of the emoji ‘what the fuck would you wave, some broccoli?’]

Amber: ['I can cut the cardboard into any shape’ so amused genuinely ‘so yes, if you like’]

Cosmo: [‘sure I wouldn’t wanna hinder your creativity, express yourself’ in a faux hippie energy]

Amber: ['I wouldn’t want everyone to think I was there protesting the pies and misogyny’🤔 ‘What number are you?’]

Cosmo: [‘hopefully I don’t mess up or you’ll have to add the racism to the list’ but tell her your number obvs]

Amber: [do a tick on the palm on her hand with her finger like noted ‘Does that mean I’m invited?’]

Cosmo: [‘it’s not an invite event’ shrugs ‘cos we still do not get this lmao ‘can’t stop you’]

Amber: [‘Unfriendly’ because I’m bringing that pun back thank you]

Cosmo: [my boo says I can and I will, ‘so weird’ kinda under our breath but not in a snide way so she could hear]

Amber: [‘it being weird to be interested in getting to know you says more about you than me’ like 😏 energy of what you’re so unlikeable are you as if the weirdness doesn’t come from the fact you hooked up with his brother and then broke into his house but okay babe]

Cosmo: [‘we’re not going to be friends’ like that’s a fact, bit rude but also I understand]

Amber: [‘We could be’ again so genuine as if there’s not reasons why you wouldn’t]

Cosmo: [‘no’ very simply even if we’re a bit #conflicted ‘cos don’t want to be a dick to you]

Amber: [‘okay’ because you literally can’t and wouldn’t argue with that so just actually go to leave for real this time gal]

Cosmo: [gonna have to let her go for now but let some time pass but like 15 mins ish not like a long time, enough that she’s gone though]

Cosmo: I didn’t mean to offend you

Amber: You didn’t, it would have offended me if you’d said no after your first 👀

Cosmo: Good

Cosmo: because it’s not about you

Cosmo: it isn’t a problem with you personally, I mean

Amber: it’s about your brother, I know, I’m not a real 👽 I understand why

Cosmo: Amongst other things, yeah

Amber: other things you don’t have to explain to me, it’s okay, I meant and mean it

Cosmo: alright

Amber: Thanks for trying to help me

Cosmo: There’s other ways to screw him over, if you want to

Amber: are there?

Cosmo: ‘course

Cosmo: there are things he cares about, even if not his things

Amber: like…?

Cosmo: think about it, he made it obvious

Cosmo: access to drugs and hippie girls

Amber: I don’t have a way to take either of those from him

Cosmo: Yeah you do

Cosmo: you live there, they’re your ‘family’ or whatever nonsense

Amber: not the girls he goes for, they’re always new

Cosmo: you can’t put it in the welcome pack

Amber: I’m not going to draw more attention to him, there’s already too much, and some of these girls would be more attracted to any negatives I pointed out, for reasons I don’t need to explain

Cosmo: drugs then, the new girls won’t be the source of those

Amber: Neither am I

Cosmo: it’ll be blokes

Cosmo: or at least adults

Cosmo: braindead or otherwise, they can’t all be fooled by him and his bullshit

Cosmo: get him cut off

Amber: I’m flattered you think my word is worth more than money to a dealer, but I’m not sure it is

Cosmo: I thought it was nature’s bounty with you lot only

Cosmo: and you pretended to have morals about it all

Amber: pretended being the key word, but I’ll try and get him blacklisted

Cosmo: I’m just saying, fuck up his spot there, that’s the only thing that would bother him

Cosmo: If you can’t then you can’t, sorry

Amber: I just don’t want him to think I care about his behaviour because of the bad sex we had, which he probably will

Cosmo: Yeah, probably

Cosmo: he loves himself enough to believe everyone else does

Amber: If they were my sisters this would be a lot easier

Cosmo: It’s a big enough place to avoid him, yeah?

Amber: But letting him get away with this is giving him free passes for as long as he wants to lie and treat other people the same, I shouldn’t allow it when the only reason is because I don’t really have time for a full blown vendetta, who am I if I do that?

Amber: …sorry for the vent, this isn’t your responsibility

Cosmo: You’re clearly a decent person

Cosmo: You can’t be responsible for all the ones that aren’t

Cosmo: I should do something because he’s my brother, right

Cosmo: but I can’t

Amber: I’m taking the compliment, after that we can stop talking about him

Cosmo: You wanted help with it

Amber: And the dealer angle is helpful ⭐️

Cosmo: Alright, I didn’t have to like but I felt bad for you

Amber: You could’ve stopped there and not made me feel bad about myself

Cosmo: I was trying to do the opposite

Cosmo: you got sarky with your ⭐️s

Cosmo: I didn’t fuck you over

Amber: It was genuine, for a genuinely good idea! I also said thank you and sorry, like, multiple times

Cosmo: Who uses gold stars genuinely

Amber: My dad has sheets of them he never uses sarcastically if you wanna start being someone

Cosmo: Alright, teacher jokes

Cosmo: You understand that it looks sarcastic though

Cosmo: To standard people

Amber: To people who don’t think it was a good idea, you mean, but who are they? It makes sense and will probably work

Amber: and I understand why it’s easier for you to take this stance with me, sure, we’ve been through that

Cosmo: What stance?

Amber: close to argumentative without crossing over the line, defensive

Cosmo: You broke into my house, I dunno how you aren’t getting that

Cosmo: unless you’re purposefully pretending not to, which is your dick move, not mine

Amber: I know I did, but you have no reason to feel unsafe because of me, which we’ve also been through

Cosmo: I don’t, feel unsafe

Cosmo: I don’t think that means we need to talk or get to know each other

Amber: It’s not going to happen again which means you don’t have to see me again, and we can stop talking any time too

Cosmo: You’re acting like I’m being rude

Amber: No, I said it was fine when you asked me if I was offended

Cosmo: What were you trying to do, asking about me

Amber: get the answers

Cosmo: 🙄

Cosmo: Yeah but why

Amber: Why wouldn’t I want to leave you with an impression which isn’t me as some BIG BAD coming through your window? Because I’m not and you wouldn’t think so if we bumped into each other in town anywhere ‘normal’

Cosmo: So you was trying to get yourself out of trouble

Cosmo: Yeah, okay, that makes sense

Cosmo: I just wanted to know why, that’s all

Amber: I don’t wanna be in trouble but it wasn’t that calculating

Amber: isn’t

Amber: meeting new people, striking up conversation in situations that other people often don’t think are natural, kinda are to me

Cosmo: It’s not a bad thing, I could’ve called the police on you

Cosmo: obviously you don’t want that

Cosmo: you don’t need to worry, I won’t, even if it is a bit late now anyway

Cosmo: Sure, but even so

Cosmo: you can’t say you’re doing that on the regs

Amber: You don’t have my name and the description you could give wouldn’t narrow it down very much once you directed them here

Amber: but I’d still prefer you didn’t, I’m not gonna lie

Amber: I don’t get pushed to those extremes regularly, no, because most people who say they’re my friends are and don’t treat me how Dash did

Amber: if you’re waiting for me to say sorry for making the best out of the unexpected, you being there, I’m not going to

Cosmo: I’ve seen plenty of them, they don’t look like you

Cosmo: Well I’m glad to hear you aren’t regularly breaking and entering

Cosmo: I don’t need an apology

Amber: What do you need, besides the ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️?

Cosmo: Ha ha

Cosmo: like I said, I just didn’t get it

Cosmo: and who says I want to leave a bad impression either

Amber: I haven’t met a ⚽️🏆⭐️ before, if I asked too many questions, that’s why, but if I made you feel uncomfortable, that’s a worse impression and you’ll get an apology anyway

Amber: Not you, or you wouldn’t have helped and I’d be talking to the police instead

Cosmo: I’m used to that

Cosmo: Usually from lads though

Cosmo: or girls but it’s more obviously fake

Cosmo: I’m no ⭐️ yet anyway

Cosmo: I’m not being compared to him, even if that means doing shit it isn’t my job to, I’d rather

Amber: I’m not comparing you, in spite of it turning out I only know Dash as well as I know you

Amber: you could’ve told me you didn’t want me coming to watch you play because of the other girls that do, I’m used to plenty at school being jealous of the way I look

Cosmo: And I intend to keep it that way, the lack of comparison

Cosmo: If I say that’s not what I meant will you accuse me of trying to make you feel bad again?

Amber: What did you mean? If you’re not trying to make me feel bad, I won’t accuse you of anything you haven’t done

Cosmo: It’d be weird if you came because my dad will be there

Amber: I’m even more used to that, all my ‘normal friends’ parents are judgmental about my piercings and the tattoos they can see, it’s okay, I don’t have to come

Cosmo: He wouldn’t judge you, but games are about winning, focus, all that

Cosmo: not inviting random strangers

Amber: He’d still be judging me for how he thinks I’ll behave, as a distraction, either way I’m a bad influence 😈

Cosmo: He’d just be pissed off with me, honestly

Amber: I’ll have to wait to watch you on tv one day, keeping it a secret from my parents who’d be 😠 at me

Amber: and if I get too impatient I can always break into the bedroom of one of your teammates, befriend them and cut their number out of cardboard…

Cosmo: You reckon, do ya

Amber: That you’ll be a 📺⭐️ or someone else on the team will be happy to have me appear in their bedroom? Because yes, I do

Cosmo: 😂 Can’t knock the confidence

Amber: Negging hasn’t been considered flirting since approximately the 90s, so no

Cosmo: Reckoning I’m flirting with you borders on delusional

Amber: which borders on what, ableism? Keep going if you have nothing to do but dig to Australia

Cosmo: Entertaining your fantasies isn’t a requirement for being a good person, whatever politically correct label you wanna throw on it

Amber: If my fantasies were that instantaneous I wouldn’t need entertainment from anywhere else

Cosmo: Good luck with that

Amber: Thanks, I am bored enough to attempt construction of a fully make believe world

Cosmo: You have time to get bored?

Amber: it’s not a forced labour camp

Cosmo: you wouldn’t keep around useless stoners if it was

Amber: And as someone who fits that mould, thank god 🙌🏽

Cosmo: it’s usually more exploitation in the name of free love anyway

Cosmo: and that doesn’t sound familiar at all

Amber: Because you’ve never been in any way exploited

Cosmo: I haven’t, actually, but that’s not really the point

Amber: Of course you have

Cosmo: How have I?

Cosmo: You’re chatting shit which won’t detract from the fact that place attracts nothing but predators of one kind or the other

Amber: Your parents sacrificed you to ⚽️🏆⭐️ the same as mine did to me with ✌🏽☮️💙 we’re both indoctrinated, yours just has a definite job prospect attached to it

Cosmo: You don’t know a single thing about me or my parents, you asked a few questions

Cosmo: you confirmed my brother picks off new girls like a opportunist abuser, and I know he ain’t the only one who treats that place like that

Cosmo: I didn’t say fuck all about you or your parents

Amber: Sport attracts predators too, nobody’s condemning it because of how a large number of people in positions of power treat the ones they have power over

Cosmo: Sport is regulated

Cosmo: for fuck’s sake

Amber: We open our doors to vulnerable people, there are always going to be other people who try and take advantage of that, and maybe at the next place they do there won’t also be as many people around who care

Cosmo: Yeah, you’ve identified the problem there

Cosmo: vulnerable people need protection and actual help

Cosmo: not care from a bunch of people who are entirely unqualified to do shit

Amber: They get help from qualified adults, not every person living there is a clueless teenager and you are actually allowed to leave

Cosmo: Yeah, that’s the point, anyone getting enough real help would leave

Cosmo: it’s a half-way house at best and for every ‘success’ and person that gets the fuck out, you have just as many that get sucked into bullshit they otherwise wouldn’t if you weren’t there

Amber: You’ve never even been there

Cosmo: Don’t need to

Cosmo: if the evidence weren’t out my window, it’s in my house and all so

Amber: Dash based evidence would make anyone cynical

Cosmo: You wish he was your only problem

Cosmo: just because he’s a dick, don’t mean he’s not got it from somewhere, or he wouldn’t get away with it

Amber: Nowhere’s perfect or fucked irreparably, you wish it was that cut and dry

Cosmo: I’m not the one who thinks I’m creating a utopian society

Cosmo: no one needs perfect, just not batshit harmful bullshit

Amber: Neither am I

Cosmo: Not you personally

Amber: So stop attacking me personally, get a 📢 and point it out of your window towards someone who really believes all the things you think are harmful bullshit

Cosmo: I’m not attacking you

Amber: You’re saying things I either have to agree or disagree with about my home and way of life that I’ve already had to spend a really long time defending or denouncing in exactly the same way

Cosmo: You don’t like it because it’s true

Cosmo: I can’t help that

Cosmo: but it’s exactly why there’s no point talking again

Amber: I can’t help that my parents like it there and really believe in things I don’t

Cosmo: Don’t they care what you want?

Amber: I go to school, we’ve stayed long enough for me to make friends, as far as they are concerned, I’m getting what I want

Cosmo: Is that all you want though?

Amber: it’s getting my own way more than a lot of my friends do, what 17 year old gets everything they want?

Cosmo: Parents should give a shit about their kid’s happiness

Cosmo: it’s not being a brat about wanting more money and a later curfew

Amber: I care about their happiness too

Cosmo: they aren’t meant to make that your problem

Amber: Putting me first and their own lives to the side would cause problems for all of us, if they’re miserable I’m not gonna be happy, and not expressing it wouldn’t mean it wasn’t still obvious

Cosmo: Are they happy?

Amber: Happier than they’ve been for years, my dad left his girlfriend and my mama has a new boyfriend, they’re both loving their jobs and the people they’ve met here who they aren’t dating too… I’d say they are

Cosmo: You’re scared they’ll want to leave again

Cosmo: or that place will get shut down and they’ll be no choice in it

Amber: They will or it will, what I’m afraid of is when it does I’ll make the choice to stay and they won’t

Cosmo: If they’d rather be helping other people than their own kid that’s fucked

Amber: I’m their 👶🏽 forever but not a child, they’d rather treat me like an adult

Cosmo: Whether you’re ready for that or not?

Amber: Some things you don’t ever feel ready for, but they have to happen anyway and when they do you’re almost always 😁 or at least slightly relieved it’s done

Cosmo: You aren’t old enough to be left anyway, whatever they’d rather do

Amber: An irrational fear for a while longer

Amber: I’m not bored enough for crystal healing

Cosmo: That’s not a thing

Cosmo: you’re taking the piss now

Amber: it’s not something that works, but it’s something that happens

Amber: often

Cosmo: I suppose I don’t even wanna know what that entails

Cosmo: if it’s not good enough for max boredom even

Amber: What are you doing? Now that you’re done making me question my entire life

Cosmo: I really weren’t

Cosmo: I know there’s fuck all you can do but there’s plenty actual adults there could and haven’t long before you showed

Cosmo: I need to go do my run

Cosmo: I’m behind schedule now

Amber: You haven’t really, don’t feel bad, it’s my turn again for putting you behind schedule

Cosmo: Inexcusable, really

Cosmo: If we’d have found a way for you to get back at him and/or get your money back we’d be further behind so win some lose some

Amber: I’m sorry x 9

Cosmo: I get it, I don’t deserve the sincerity of actually bothering to type it out

Cosmo: Call it even then?

Amber: I’d prefer to call us odd but okay

Cosmo: ‘course, got to keep it 👽 I know

Amber: Tempting fate slightly, unless you want to get abducted on your run

Cosmo: I was clearly after an invitation, yeah

Cosmo: I’m alright, tah, only one dickhead who looks like me will be showing

Amber: Is that my invite to a race? Because I don’t think I’d be able to beat you

Cosmo: Is that humility? Doesn’t seem like you

Cosmo: you’ve already been abducted yourself, obvs

Amber: Or shameless untrue flattery

Cosmo: Hmm

Cosmo: Possible, yeah

Cosmo: but you never would beat me so we’re at real delusion again

Amber: Distance or speed?

Cosmo: I have unfair advantages for both

Cosmo: I run up and down a field for 90 minutes a time, and I have about double the leg length you do

Amber: It’s really cute you think I’d let anything happen fairly when I could just cheat

Cosmo: There’s no point having any kind of competition if you don’t follow the rules

Cosmo: take your hollow victory then, see if it feels good

Amber: You’ve made me not want it now! 🥺

Cosmo: N’awh

Cosmo: right buzzkill, I know

Amber: Besides leg measuring, what do you do for fun? And don’t say run up and down a field for 90 minutes

Cosmo: Just what us footie lads are like, good clean fun, unlike rugby

Cosmo: what do you actually do, when you’re avoiding crystal healings?

Amber: The big 🚿 at the end can’t be what makes you happiest either, I don’t believe that’s true of anyone

Amber: other than shopping, I’m sure I do mostly the same as the rest of the girls you know

Cosmo: IDK I’m sure it makes the predatory coaches buzzing when we’re all lathered up 🧼

Cosmo: but shopping is all the girls I know do 😜

Cosmo: I’m the same, is your actual answer, what every 17 year old lad with some disposable income does

Amber: Great, I’ll need the healing to erase that visual…

Amber: It can’t be, because then I’ll have to feel sorry for you AND the girls you know, they’ll have other interests they’re avoiding telling you about, like I am

Amber: the boys I know our age definitely don’t seem like they do much of anything, besides get drunk and high, so there must be A LOT of other hobbies they’re keeping secret from me too

Cosmo: Maybe you’ve uncovered the truth there

Cosmo: Girls and boys don’t tell each other everything, or anything

Cosmo: Or we both know poor examples

Cosmo: Who’s to ever be sure

Amber: But now it’s been uncovered, either way, we can change it

Amber: I’ll go first, the childish faves I was keeping from you are swimming and dancing, because they make me sound about 9 years old

Cosmo: I don’t think so

Cosmo: depends on how you frame it, swimming is great cardio and underwater is a great place to think or not think as much as you need

Cosmo: dancing, likewise great cardio, and good for the soul, sure your lot would put it, mood-boosting for the rest of us

Cosmo: you sound very well-⚪️ed, if anything, not 👶

Amber: It’s your turn

Cosmo: alright, bossy

Cosmo: you already know I like football and I like to run

Cosmo: I like the gym too, swimming as well, actually

Cosmo: going out for meals, drinks, all that stuff

Amber: Nobody likes the gym, the effects and ego boost maybe

Cosmo: I do

Cosmo: it’s a building with workout equipment in, not a torture chamber

Cosmo: and the one at the academy is really good

Amber: you like how much you can 🏋🏽‍♂️ and having your friends to compete against

Cosmo: is that a question or an assumption

Amber: I’m changing it to a question because you caught me in an assumption, which I hate, so ?

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: competition is a good motivator, so is seeing progress in your abilities, sure

Cosmo: exercise makes you feel better, whatever form you like doing it in, it’s that simple

Amber: I’m not gonna lie and pretend I do yoga for any other reason than how flexible I am as a result, I guess we finally agree on something, even if it is something shallow

Cosmo: It’s not shallow

Cosmo: giving a shit about your body and your health isn’t just because looking good is nice, it also feels better

Amber: but if I cared about my health there are vices I’ve picked up that I wouldn’t have and things I wouldn’t put into my body which I do, you’re on a journey and I’m doing the occasional day trip

Cosmo: Very hippie-approved

Cosmo: songs about it and everything, right

Cosmo: I do drink, I just try not to get wasted

Cosmo: it’d be unsociable not to at all

Amber: You’d look like a 👽 and you’d have to move somewhere that isn’t Dublin

Cosmo: And change my occupation

Amber: drastic avoidance tactic to stop me from meeting your dad or watching you play

Cosmo: 😂 Not all about you, hippie

Amber: That’s the rudest thing you’ve said to me so far!

Cosmo: And WAGs are meant to be high-maintenance…

Amber: meaning they put time and effort into their appearance, which you just applauded as a virtue in yourself

Cosmo: No, meaning you have to put a lot of effort in to maintain the relationship

Cosmo: but it was a joke before you get all soapbox about it

Amber: a joke I’m not gonna let you get away with making, boy

Amber: but if we need to talk about anything it’s that you don’t think all relationships require a lot of time and effort

Cosmo: I didn’t, it’s a joke that’s made, by people in general

Cosmo: it’s more 🤑🤩 maintenance people are implying, not 🥰😘

Amber: You repeated it, like it’s funny or true, or both

Amber: after I told you I hate assumptions, and stereotypes aren’t any different

Cosmo: They’re inevitable and you’ve made loads about me, my friends and my family so

Cosmo: that sounds like your problem

Amber: The difference is, I’m trying to not and I apologised when I did, you’re doubling down

Cosmo: I’m not doubling down because it’s a joke, which means I didn’t mean it in the first place

Cosmo: You did and that’s why you’re mad

Amber: Why are you like this?

Cosmo: Like what?

Amber: 2 seconds away from an argument at ALL times

Cosmo: You’ve started every one

Cosmo: People like you reckon you can say whatever bullshit you want like you’re so knowing and zen and then I’m the arsehole for not just letting you chat shit on me

Amber: You keep saying people like me, when I’m obviously not like that

Amber: zen or all knowing

Cosmo: I said it was bullshit

Cosmo: It’s what you wanna project

Cosmo: that you’ve got it figured out, which is why you live such a mental way of life, because it’s actually the RIGHT way of life and we’re all stupid and brainwashed, not yous

Cosmo: ⭐️

Amber: I told you why I live there and that I don’t believe in it

Amber: using ⭐️ against me is bullshit

Cosmo: Maybe you can’t help it

Cosmo: you don’t even know you’re doing it

Amber: Do you know you’re being a fucking asshole?

Cosmo: Yeah

Cosmo: do you?

Amber: now I do

Amber: It’s not an intention, but you’re right, sometimes I open my mouth to speak and either of my parents come out

Cosmo: I know the feeling

Cosmo: maybe that’s inevitable too

Cosmo: how individual are any of us really, we’re all just a mess of the people we know

Amber: Better not be! Or I’ve really wasted years fighting to think for myself, carving out compromises to end up not even wanting them

Cosmo: Won’t say good luck with that but

Cosmo: it’s a nice thought, anyway

Amber: A nicer thought than becoming them, living like this forever and being happy with that

Cosmo: What do you want to do?

Amber: It’s stupid

Amber: but I wanna eat 🍕 and buy a new 👗 to wear out somewhere and come home and sleep in a 🛏 on my own or with the same fucking person

Cosmo: That isn’t stupid

Cosmo: I think that’s what a lot of people want

Cosmo: Some variation of, when it comes down to it

Amber: It’s what my school friends already have, that’s why it’s stupid, because I shouldn’t have to fight for it, it’s stupid because they think I have the type of freedom they daydream about

Cosmo: Maybe you do have things they don’t have but want

Cosmo: maybe they’re not as close to their parents, or they’re an only-child who would kill for all the people around

Cosmo: or maybe some people are lucky from the start and some have to make their own

Amber: maybe x 9

Cosmo: If you’re keeping count

Cosmo: You’ll be able to get all those things

Amber: Not for a while, but one day, maybe

Amber: because if I’m keeping count that’s only 4

Cosmo: There’s time for a few more

Amber: If you introduce me to the girls you know who do nothing but shop, I could get a new 👗 in no time, right?

Cosmo: Or you could go with your own friends

Cosmo: the non-commune ones, that won’t cry at a plastic bag

Amber: Maybe… if I hadn’t had the fast fashion rant at them all, I don’t even know I’m doing it, I told you you’d got that right

Cosmo: Ah

Cosmo: I see

Cosmo: I could take you if you want

Cosmo: you’ll have to take cover in the rails if you see one of them coming

Amber: I don’t wanna mess up your schedule again, you’ll have to fit me in when it suits you, not when I’m pouting

Cosmo: Right, so when are you not pouting? 🤔

Amber: When you stop being mean to me

Amber: maybe

Cosmo: Good use of a maybe

Cosmo: How about Saturday lunchtime

Cosmo: I have to eat, after-all

Amber: Teeth off me and my 👗

Cosmo: Not a cannibal

Cosmo: or a moth?

Cosmo: I’m just saying, that’s a free hour, if you’re worried about my schedule

Amber: okay, 1 shop, I promise

Amber: less than an hour

Cosmo: I’ll take that as a maybe

Cosmo: I’m not going to put you on a timer, like

Cosmo: Saturdays are pretty flexible and you’re going to wanna take time to enjoy yourself and all

Amber: You don’t wanna race me, I know

Cosmo: You don’t wanna cheat no more

Cosmo: maybe

Amber: I won’t

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: I still don’t wanna make you sad

Amber: I’m not gonna cry because you take 🥇

Cosmo: As long as that’s a promise

Amber: it is, maybe I didn’t know anything about ⚽️ before today but I understand sportsmanship`

Cosmo: What shops do you want to go to?

Amber: I was kinda hoping you’d know the answer

Cosmo: I do, I’ve got you covered then

Cosmo: Pick you up [time]

Amber: from where?

Cosmo: There’s a phonebox outside there, right? Go there

Amber: 🦸🏽

Cosmo: I’ll look for the 🤓 then

Amber: When you asked me what I wanted to do, my first thought was my homework

Cosmo: Serious?

Amber: I have a LOT and it’s really hard to concentrate here

Cosmo: You remember what window is actually his?

Cosmo: ‘cos he’s never in so

Cosmo: You could

Cosmo: as long as you don’t come in the rest of the house, my room included

Amber: Are you serious?

Cosmo: It isn’t my room

Cosmo: just keep to sociable hours, why not

Cosmo: you said homework, not wild party

Amber: thanks

Amber: I’m almost as speechless as I was when you were telling me to leave

Cosmo: I know

Cosmo: I’m not saying I didn’t say some harsh things

Cosmo: It’s been weird but there’s no reason you can’t have somewhere quiet

Cosmo: and apart from me and him, no one really comes up to the first floor much

Amber: weirder than my usual daily life deserves every ⭐️ my dad has

Amber: and so do you, for this and everything else you’ve helped me with

Cosmo: Nah, it’s nothing

Cosmo: not my finest hour, actually

Cosmo: but it’s alright

Amber: it’s not nothing, it’s definitely something

Cosmo: We’re even

Cosmo: it wasn’t all ⭐️s so

Amber: plenty of it was

Cosmo: That don’t make it alright

Cosmo: I don’t make it a habit of being a fucking asshole, believe it or not

Amber: Neither do I

Amber: we’re even

Cosmo: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Amber: that’s a weird visual, thanks for it

Cosmo: You’re welcome for the artistic inspiration, like

Amber: if your idea is that your teammate bans me from matches too, there are gonna be easier ways than encouraging me to show up with 9 thumb shaped cardboard signs…

Cosmo: My theoretical teammate

Cosmo: That you ain’t gonna meet

Amber: Yes, him

Cosmo: 😏

Amber: The entire squad can’t all have pushy parents and intense girlfriends

Amber: ⚽⭐🏆🥂🤵

Cosmo: You’re doubling down on the whole stalker thing then, yeah

Amber: The positives speak for themselves

Cosmo: Maybe you’ll be offered a better place to do your homework

Amber: for when you’re spending your weekends in a better postcode and Dash’s room’ll have to be off-limits unless I make no noise and write my essays in the dark

Cosmo: Of course

Cosmo: unless you really wanna explain wtf you’re doing to my nan

Amber: Is the 🍊 thing real? To win over your friends, not your grandma, necessarily

Amber: I’d go for a different fruit in that case

Cosmo: It’s more of a thing when you’re a kid but it’s not not a thing

Cosmo: And fruit baskets too, very retro

Amber: okay, there’s my in

Amber: using the wonky ones would help my cause if we’re pretending to your nan I’m in that dire need of sanctuary, but find out her favourites, if she’s not gonna fall for the SOS

Cosmo: Would you rather not be incognito

Cosmo: She might think you’re Dash’s girlfriend or something

Amber: It wouldn’t take long to correct the assumption, but I only would if I had to, like, if she’s suddenly scared she’s living somewhere haunted

Cosmo: Wonky veg at the ready 👍

Amber: Always

Amber: but I’m actually excellent at hiding, which makes me sound how old? 3 maybe

Cosmo: It makes you sound deluded, definitely

Cosmo: I found you well easy

Amber: Because I wanted you to

Cosmo: Not me

Amber: yes you, Dash enters a room very differently, I knew it wasn’t him

Cosmo: You didn’t know me, you couldn’t want me to

Amber: You’ve heard of curiosity, right? I didn’t have to know you to want to find out who you were

Cosmo: I’ve not got 9 lives 🐈

Amber: that you know of

Cosmo: You think that’s a theory to test?

Amber: I’m not dangerous, remember

Cosmo: Allegedly

Amber: You can allegedly run away at the speed of light and even though you haven’t bragged about it, could probably also pick me up and throw me out 💪🏽⭐️

Cosmo: I’m not going to do that

Amber: I’m not a test

Cosmo: Debatable

Amber: Today’s events, maybe, but that isn’t what you should define me by

Cosmo: It’s okay, I won’t

Cosmo: we said we were even, I meant it

Amber: make your mind up on Saturday when I test your patience by trying on every dress I like and ask you what you think

Cosmo: That’s your prerogative

Cosmo: delegated to the bench with the other men

Amber: 🥼👖👟👓 I know you have the money to get a new outfit too because you were willing to give it to me twice

Cosmo: I might

Amber: I won’t tell you what I think if that’s what’s putting you off 😶

Cosmo: I think I can handle your fashion critiques 🤣

Amber: Because I don’t have any fashion sense or because yours is ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and above criticism?

Cosmo: We have different styles

Cosmo: I’m not going to dress like a stoner, you’re not gonna dress like a WAG

Amber: Like a stoner? Really?

Cosmo: I went for the male and female equivalents

Cosmo: so you can’t pout

Amber: Yes I can, you’ve seen me in 1 outfit, which I wore to climb through a window

Cosmo: And I ain’t said nothing bad about it

Amber: there’s nothing complimentary in the tone of us having different styles when you follow it up with I’m not gonna dress like you

Cosmo: Are you going to get your own footie strip? No

Cosmo: It wasn’t an insult, not towards you

Amber: If they weren’t ridiculously expensive, I would, if only because it would annoy you now

Cosmo: Now that sounds 👶

Amber: it’d be worth it to see your face

Cosmo: 🙄😏

Amber: Besides, we’re the same age, I don’t have anything to prove

Cosmo: Am I a test?

Amber: you’re a boy I wanna know, it’d put me to the test if you hadn’t said no already

Cosmo: Somehow I doubt that’s ever been a challenge for you

Amber: I don’t see it as a challenge, no means no, and if you change your own mind, it means you’re open to it and there’s no obstacles to get over

Cosmo: A PC response but a fair one

Amber: I can’t complain when boys take my no for a maybe if I do the same, and I don’t like it, so keeping my mouth shut would be hard

Cosmo: Your mind just jumps to some weird places

Cosmo: I just said we’d make no sense as friends

Amber: That’s your mind leapfrogging to the strangest possible place

Amber: thinking all your friends have to be like you

Cosmo: It’s easier

Cosmo: like you and your school friends, you already put your foot in it

Cosmo: that doesn’t happen when you’re the same

Amber: Nothing happens when you’re the same, nothing ever changes

Cosmo: You want things to change for you, it makes sense for you

Amber: why don’t you?

Cosmo: Why would I?

Cosmo: I’m set up in ways people would kill for

Amber: Why wouldn’t you, even if you love everything that’s happening in your life right now, change can still be good

Cosmo: I’m not anti change

Cosmo: as long as it’s in the right direction

Amber: and I’m the wrong direction?

Cosmo: No, you’re like

Cosmo: a completely different path

Cosmo: we run parallel

Amber: I’m not gonna force you down any paths

Cosmo: I know

Cosmo: and I know it’s rude

Cosmo: but it’d be ruder to waste your time, I think

Cosmo: and I don’t want to do that

Amber: What do you wanna do?

Cosmo: I don’t know

Amber: I can go by myself on Saturday, to make things easier

Cosmo: There’s no need

Cosmo: It’s not like we need to be besties to do that

Amber: besties

Amber: maybe if we were 👶🏽

Cosmo: Well exactly, you get my point

Cosmo: we can just

Cosmo: be aware of each other

Amber: Thanks for not asking me to become unaware of you

Cosmo: Be unfair of me to ask when I won’t

Amber: and when you hate when I pout

Cosmo: That too

Amber: you’d especially hate being at school with me, pouting’s all I do

Cosmo: I thought you liked it? 🤓

Amber: I like learning new things, but not how many new things there are that I have to, what feels like all the time

Amber: progress doesn’t just apply to fitness, I wanna see some with this

Cosmo: That’s understandable

Cosmo: It’s a lot, leavers cert

Cosmo: Do you get any help or whatever?

Amber: Extra work whenever I ask for it, but none of the teachers are expecting me to still be here by the time we take exams, which means I’m another school’s problem or success story, and that could be a different country, so they aren’t gonna work hard to get me through leavers cert, are they?

Cosmo: No, I guess not

Cosmo: They should but you’re right they probably won’t

Cosmo: Do you think you’ll be here?

Amber: No, we’ve been here for months already

Cosmo: If you was leaving you’d be gone already, like

Cosmo: Maybe get another student to tutor you

Cosmo: they’re better than teachers ‘cos they’ll let you know what you actually need to know to do well on the tests

Amber: We’re not leaving while my parents are happy and feel needed but nobody at the commune wants summer schooling and my dad will get restless

Amber: but that’s a good idea while I am, I’ll find someone

Cosmo: I’m not smart enough or I would

Cosmo: I just did what I had to to coast by but it’s not the focus

Amber: You don’t have the time, boy

Cosmo: True

Cosmo: Speaking of

Amber: Oh sorry! 🤓 rant over

Cosmo: You’re alright, I need to actually get a decent workout in now though or it doesn’t really count

Cosmo: Saturday though, yeah

Amber: I’ll be at the phonebox at [just before whatever time he said]

Cosmo: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Cosmo: You’ll remember what I look like and not get in a random car, right?

Amber: I’m not a goldfish

Amber: and if I did forget I’d stalk your 🏋🏽📷

Cosmo: Oh right, I forgot you were a dedicated creeper

Amber: I wouldn’t be 😠 if you did

Cosmo: Too bad 😏

Amber: goodbye x 9

Cosmo: 👋

1 note · View note

myfoofoo · 4 years

Text

This is about shipping, because some of you are acting like you lost your mind....

Lemme just point this out before anyone else does.

-Yes I’m aware this post is long. Get over it.

-Yes I’m aware the anti shipping here isn’t as bad as other fandoms

-I will only post this type of stuff here just this once okay? I’m sorry for the inconvenience, just block me if it bothers you so badly...

-I’m only saying this here because people decided to go to the crankiplier tag and be rude, and no I wasn’t triggered just off that. This has been a thing for awhile, that was just the last straw for me

-Mark or Ethan if you see this I’m so sorry, I’m just sick of this now

ok can i just say i love all the people who go in anon asks or say shit in the crankiplier tag talking shit like....funny thing is most of you would not be saying shit irl would you? LMAO No you wouldn’t you cowards, so don’t say it here. Ya’ll need to chill okay? Literally nobody’s trying to fight you. I don’t know if you guys are having an episode or some shit, but you need to chill trying to fight each other literally won’t fix a damn thing will it? I’m legit trying to say this as calm as possible because I’m actually fuming right now.

STOP. PLEASE. JUST. STOP.

This shit is seriously going too far and the sad part is most of you think you’re being a hero. I don’t know what happened to cause you all to be angry last night. But you going over to the crankiplier tag or ANY ship tag just to talk shit is fucking childish. Don’t ever feel proud of yourself for what you’re doing right now.

And don’t pull that “We’re sticking up for...” you’re doing it terribly by the way. Don’t use that as an excuse for how ignorant you are acting. Some of you are chill so just ignore this. No matter if you’re a shipper or not, nobody should be harassed to the point they get anxiety. Nobody should be generalized because a select group of people fucked up. I really don’t want to fight anyone but this is just disappointing and gross to witness. Do you actually feel proud of yourself for hurting complete strangers?? I thought this fandom was supposed to be welcoming not full of assholes who don’t understand the full story but still label you “toxic” anyway.

I literally respect tf out of Amy and Mika and I respect tf out of Mark and Ethan. I’ve literally kept everything to myself and most of us have??

One thing I want to make clear, I know you mean well...I know you’re just trying to keep the boys safe and I am literally with you on that...but this isn’t the way to solve that. Fighting each other won’t solve this. I admit before someone tries to use this against me I did write a VERY...very aggressive thing towards anti shippers, but I felt bad so I want to redo it.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry if you had bad personal experience with shipping.

I’m sorry if you witnessed the septiplier shit in 2016

I’m sorry if you’re going through personal baggage and we’re you’re only outlet.

I’m sorry if shipping makes you uncomfortable.

But being rude to each other? Will not fix it. I respect you if you don’t like shipping. That is entirely fair and I have no problem with that. It’s the way you guys handle it that makes me want to punch the fuck out somebody. lmaoo

Handle it in a mature way. Not like this. You don’t have to like us, that is fair.

But don’t you fucking dare compare us murderers, to pedos, to stalkers. And yes I’ve seen someone say it before. Don’t you ever compare us to that nasty shit.

You do not know ANY of us personally nor will you ever. Don’t try to judge our characters just because of one trivial thing. It’s childish and disgusting.

Remember Natsuki’s poem? “Amy likes spiders”? I’m sure most of you know what I’m talking about. You remember what that poem was about? Don’t judge a person just because of ONE characteristic about them, it just makes you an ignorant jerk. And I’m sure most of you even agreed with that poem....kinda hypocritical ain’t it??

Can we please...PLEASE just chill out?? This fandom is supposed to be like a family, not a constant battle. It doesn’t need to be like this. Like ever. So please let’s just stop with this....please.

And no before people start whining, no I am not supporting the people who harassed the boys. I’m not supporting people who tag Mark or Ethan or ANY youtuber with smut. No I am not supporting the people who called Amy and Mika nasty names.

I am supporting the people who kept it to themselves. I am supporting the people who respected the boys wishes and either changed their ways of shipping or posted in their rightful tag. I am supporting the people who are probably too afraid to stick up for themselves when people are literally shouting at them. I am supporting the people who ship because it’s the only thing that makes them smile during hard times. I am supporting the people who did nothing to hurt you or anyone in anyway.

ANYWAY, I’m not gonna fight ya’ll not worth the energy honestly. Stay safe, stay sane in quarantine, it’s pretty rough right now. Wash your hands. Goodbye.

Wait I forgot Ethan and Sean literally said shipping IS FINE just don’t go harassing people. Sean literally said in the video “Don’t fight each other over this..” And yet you’re doing the opposite. THIS IS WHAT YOUR FUCKING WORDS ARE CAUSING

ARE YOU DEADASS PROUD FOR GIVING SOMEONE PANIC ATTACKS????

REALLY?? OVER THIS??

Before I blow up lemme just...don’t feel proud of this. This is not okay. Shipper or not. Don’t give people this much fear. I’m staying out of the tags for awhile until ya’ll finally decide to grow up. This is depressing...

Small update: Please don’t put other people’s toxic actions on all of us. We are not their parents, we don’t control them in anyway. I literally put out friendly reminders not to harass the boys, that’s all I can do. Otherwise it’s literally out of our control. If people spam a ship name in their streams, like wtf am I supposed to do??? I’m not a mod, I’m not a goddess, I can’t just magically ban them, I wish I could because I hate that shite too lmao. Also, yes quarantine sucks ass right now. But just because you’re bored does not mean, come over and be mad at us. Or whatever th ya’ll excuse is these days. Nobody asked lmao.

#markiplier #crankgameplays #crankiplier

48 notes · View notes

kunderdogs · 5 years

Text

Monsta X / Curvy S/O Wearing A Body-Con Dress

So, I’m still big mad that I lost 800+ words of this reaction the first time around and I forgot wtf I put for them so let’s try this again ;-; S/O to the anon who requested this. Idk what kind of revealing dress you were thinking of so I went with this and other similar dresses.

I kinda snapped on Kihyun’s lmao got a lil carried away so it’s lengthy - sorry!

Remember this is just my opinion about how the boys would react and all in good fun.

Shownu: Heart eyes af. Proud boyfriend right here!! He’s quiet but that smile that lights up his face will not leave any time soon. Nunu’s got BDE (I can’t believe I typed this) so he’s going to show you off to the world. The type to take your IG pics for you and hit all the right angles. Gonna have you walk in front of him all night just so he can watch your hips swing from walking in heels. He’s comfortable in your relationship so he’s indifferent to the stares you get since you’re on his arm. Also, he’s not one to feel like he owns you in anyway so he’s not going to tell you to change. Definitely an ass/hips man so expect his big hands gripping you or pulling you into him. He’s going to want to dance the entire time you’re out, mainly so he can have your body grind against his. Totally fine with people looking, but talking to you is a different story and will 100% stand behind you, glaring at whoever had the balls to try to speak to you. Other than that, he’s extremely touchy when you dress up like this so expect a lot of affection, even if you’re in public because “Who told you to be so damn sexy?”

Wonho: Immediately groaning and complaining about how hot you look. “Whyyyyyy are you so hot? Let’s stay home baby~ Please?” 11/10 going to try and convince you to stay in tonight. Will whine and follow you around as you finish getting ready. Clingy AF!! Like more so than usual too (which is hard to do but this is Hoseok we’re talking about here). Big baby boy mood comes out and he’s whining about how he can’t possibly focus on the dinner reservations with you looking like that. Once you manage to drag him out, he’s going to keep touching you - hips, waist, arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding your hands. When you’re sitting, you can bet your left foot that his hands are gripping your thighs, unintentionally teasing you but when you touch him back - ohhhh boy. He’s giving you puppy eyes now and whispering in your ear, “Can we leave now? I’ve done what you ask, I think I deserve a reward.”

Minhyuk: Sunshine has left the building. Wide eyes, jaw dropped when he got to your place and you walked down the stairs like it was your own personal runway. Pride is filling up his chest as well as admiration. He loves you for you but your body was definitely a plus and he worshiped the ground you walked on but he wasn’t sure if he could handle you looking that sexy all night. In about two seconds, he comes to the conclusion that no, his heart cannot handle that stress and tells you to take your fine ass back upstairs and put on something with more cloth. “I can’t- Nope, I’m not gonna be hurting like this and not be able to touch you. You’ve got to change, for my mental sanity.” Compliments you and the dress but lets you know he won’t be able to focus on anything if your dress is that tight/short on you. Grips his heart dramatically as you walk back up the stairs “Gah damn, why must you hurt me like this baby?” Realizes you’re going to change and then runs up after you cause as much as he likes the dress on you, he will not miss the opportunity to see it come off ;) As much as you try to keep his hands off you while undressing, it doesn’t work and now you’re the last ones to the venue, cheeks flushed and lips swollen with the maknaes giggling as you fix your hair.

(oof this gif is powerful)

Kihyun: Yeah hell no. He’s buttoning up the cuffs of his suit as he walks in the bathroom and sees you all dressed up, putting on your jewelry. The way the diamonds he bought you on your third anniversary sat delicately on your chest made his mouth dry. Totally forgets what he had to ask you so he takes in the view as you lean over the counter top to put in your earrings. His eyes are dark and narrowed, head tilting to the side while his face is unreadable. When you’re done, you twirl around to ask his opinion but he’ll step towards you just like a predator would its prey. “Change.” and that’s all he’ll say, unblinking, looking you up and down. “Ki, I bought this dress for this award show. Do you not like it?” Honestly, he liked it way too much and that mean other people would like it too and nope he was having none of that shit on his watch. If you really refused to change, he’ll say some hurtful things, he’s got a sharp tongue and doesn’t realize the shit he says sounds bad until later on. “Who are you dressing up for cause it sure as hell doesn’t look like it’s for me.” You’ll have to ignore him because he’s just being petty but if you give in and say “I dress up for my damn self!” or anything sassy, his dom side will not allow it. He’ll probably try to start a fight just to stay home but it’s because he’s a bit insecure since you look so good, someone better looking or more talented was bound to catch your attention. In his mind, there was no way you could be this perfect and be with him. Will be fuming the entire award show, tense hand holding, jaw tight and lot of eyebrow raises instead of answering your comments or questions (angry KiKi sounds so hot) Later in the night he’ll realize he’s being a dick and apologize but he’ll sulk until you give him kisses and forgive him.

Hyungwon: At first, he’s just smirking like a cocky little shit. Rubbing his chin and biting his lip. He’ll make you walk back and forth just to stare at your ass. “Oh, you’re fine fine. Okay.” He’s going to vocally compliment you up and down. Licking his lips, rubbing his hands together (very fuckboy-esque) but my boy is seeing only hearts okay, he’s smitten! In my personal experience, skinny/lanky guys are the ones who looove thick/curvy girls the most and he’s no different. Doesn’t know what to do with himself except make comments while he’s following you around the house. “Baby, if you keep looking like a damn snack, I’ll have no choice but you eat like one.” And you’re like, “Damn it, stop being so horny, we’re going to your CEO’s birthday dinner.” Once he remembers that you’re indeed going out dressed like that, he switches very quickly. Silently, he’ll grab one of his big jackets and toss it at you, telling you to put it on otherwise he’ll go crazy all night if he has to see other guys staring at your ass. You do so, hiding your smirk when you think back to that one time Minhyuk had openly stared at you when you wore really tight jeans because Hyungwon almost lost his shit and it was kind of funny to see him so riled up. Very, very possessive and if you don’t pay him much attention that night, his attitude will jump out and he’ll definitely be rough with you later on - hands gripping your waist to get your attention, face grabbing to make you look at him in the eye. we love a confident zaddy whoops Will not let you out of his sight. You won’t even get 5 feet away from him without him following closely behind you & his eyes would stay mostly on how your hips swing back and forth. He does not last long so he’ll drag you to an empty room or even restroom so you can help him out.

(we need to talk more about flully/curly haired Hyungwon ok we were so so blessed)

Jooheon: Once he sees what you’re wearing to the company New Years party, it’s a mOTHAFUCKIN WRAP. He’s going to appreciate your figure with narrowed eyes and a smirk. He knows you got a nice body but didn’t know you had a dress that tight in your closet and wonders why you haven’t whipped that out for him sooner. Thinks you’re dressing up for him so he sees it as his own little present. Definitely going to suggest staying home and nearly has you wrapped around his waist, back smashed against the door to your apartment when he hears his phone ringing in his pocket. You break the kiss but he’s unbothered and attacks your neck with biting kisses as you try to get in his pocket. “Ooh are we skipping the foreplay tonight?” and you roll your eyes like “Boy, do you not hear your phone? We have to go to the dinner, honey.” He groans into your neck, pressing your body into the wood again. “Ignore it. I’m tryna have my dessert right now.” Somehow, you managed to get him to the party but he’s going to give you bedroom eyes the entire time you’re out. Outwardly, he can compose himself to not act as horny as he was feeling so his touches will linger but they’ll be appropriate. If someone was flirting with you though, he will definitely put his hand on the small of your back, basically your ass. “Let’s go home, baby.”

I.M: “Babe have you seen my -...Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” My fav switch will enter dom mode pretty quickly upon seeing his s/o in such a tight, figure hugging dress. He’s a fan (a very big fan) of curves and ass in general. You don’t normally wear things like this, choosing leggings or hoddies over anything else. Changkyun would be biting his lip, watching you finish putting stuff in your hand bag and checking your makeup in the mirror but as you tell him, it was your friends bday and she wanted to go club hopping, he’s gonna go in the closet and get ready himself. When you ask wtf he’s doing since it’s technically a girls night, he’ll dead ass just stare at you blankly and say, “If you think I’m gonna let you out of my sight, looking like the goddess you are,” he pulled his button up on, snapping the buttons in place, “You’re dead wrong, love.” Yeah he’s just a bit possessive. Will hang on you all night, most the time is spent in his lap though and his tongue just can’t seem to stay in his mouth. It’s licking your neck, biting his own lips, licking them too. By the middle of the night, he’s tired of not having you beneath him so when you grind on him a little too good, he’s standing up and telling your friends good night, dragging you behind him and out the door.

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scp-69 · 4 years

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archival team all know wtf is up cause jon is 3% more competent and has better communication skills au where they all make it their daily goal to piss off jonalias magchard by making fun of his georgian ass

sasha hikes up her skirt to show her ankles like ooohh im sorry mr magnus (flutters eyelashes) is this inappropriate for the workplace?

they turn up at work one day in the most ridiculous regency period clothing from the fancy dress shop down the street

martin commits more arson, obviously

sasha invests in an Archive Pet because "things have changed since your time jonah you cant possibly understand with your old man brain so adverse to change"

“why is there a giant blowup hamster wheel tim” “i was drunk lol” "why did you just say lol out loud”

"see magnus we have these things now called abbreviations. people use them often in texts and-"

they over explain every slang term they go out of their way to use (they even make a ladybird style book on How To Use Modern Slang)

"so i said whatevs- oh jonah thats a shorter way of saying whatever" "yes, sasha, (vein bulging out of his forehead) i know what whatevs means"

theyre like im so sorry you never got a childhood. we will be rectifying this by watching disney movies during work. socialisation is important

tim talks loudly and extensively about his hookups in the break room and always stops midway to check on his "georgian sensitivities"

they would DEFINITELY use periodically incorrect slang to annoy him under the guise of "oh we just want you to feel more comfortable :D"

they use edwardian slang (which is around a hundered years after jonah would have been born, give or take a decade or two)

"magnus youve gone a bit balmy on the crumpet there mate" "THATS NOT EVEN FROM THE RIGHT TIME PERIOD TIMOTHY!!"

they call jonah a buck (a dandy, smartly dressed or handsome individual) and a buffer (old man, old codger) within the same day

(they also call him a poodle-faker (a man who spent too much time in the society of women, engaging in such activities as tea parties, balls, etc.) which to Mine Own Ears sounds suspiciously and hilariously like an edwardian homophobic slur and goes down exactly as u would expect)

jonah: what are you doing / the archival staff, catfishing peter as elias to make him pay for their lunch: ...nothing

jon calls him a sugar baby and as soon as the eye has finished downloading the definition into his brain hes FUMING he just sprints straight at the closest employee and charges

rosie has so much blackmail on him she could end his entire life with a few "misplaced" documents

i like to think that none of the post unknowing archival crew would be hired into the institute but they would eventually come to hang out there almost every day anyway

they absolutely join in

its an all out war everyone vs jagnus. nobody knows quite what the end goal is but seeing him ranting and raving after the latest attack upon his person is just so funny that they dont care

all the other avatars quit trying to complete their rituals cause this is much more rewarding

also gerry is still alive in this! when jon introduces him jelias is nearly killed on sight :D

thank u @dan-wylds for like half of these love u

#while writing this up i got distracted and worked out that jonah is either the same age as or ~20/30 years younger than the United States of #America depending on what age you believe he was when he founded the institute since we were never told that. he could be anywhere between #20 and like 40 concievably based on the timeline it was very important for me to work that out #anyway #tma #mine #jonah magnus #elias bouchard #jonahlias magchard #the magnus archives #jon sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #gerry keay #rosie tma

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unpopularly-opinionated · 4 years

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Little history about me no one asked for.

Roughly 14 years ago, I’m 9 years old. 4th Grade. I’m not dumb, but I’m not that smart either. I had zero “street smarts” as you might call them, meaning I was 100% that kid who didn’t know half the swear words, or anything we’d typically consider “inappropriate” for a 9-year old to know I guess. I mean fuck, I didn’t even know what ‘gay’ was until two years later.

Anyways, we read a book in class about Jackie Robinson (this was back when some people still like baseball, assuming any youngins know what baseball is ;) ). Don’t ask me anything about Jackie Robinson because fuck if I remember much. All I know is he was a baseball player, and he was black, and he lived back when those two things together was notable.

In that book, we learn about this word. I think you know which word I’m referring to, but if you don’t well, alas I am not going to spell it out for you. Now, in hindsight, I was 9-years old so I feel justified in giving my teachers part of the blame here because they most definitely did not go into any detail about that word. No mention of it’s definition, if it was okay to say, why or why not, etc. Nothing.

The only information I had to go from was the bits of context from the book itself, which meant that I knew it was a bad word, but not why or who specifically it might apply to. You might see where this is going.

Now I can’t explain exactly what happened because frankly I don’t really remember. All I can really remember is who was involved and what I did. Some kid, who for clarity’s sake I will state was white (actually pasty af white, he was a ginger so you know how gingers can be), made me mad (I don’t recall why, but I know we had a bit of a history, unrelated). His friend was black.

So this white kid made me mad, for one reason or another, and I remember chasing him in the field during recess, fuming (or at least, as much as a 9-year old can fume). His friend ran with him, but my anger was directly strictly at the white kid. No idea what my goal was, but what’s an angry 9-year old’s goal anyways. I wasn’t much of a fighting-type, I was a scrawny fucking white kid myself.

We stop running, we share some words, again no real idea what was said tbfh. All I can remember (for reasons) is that I pointed at the white kid and I said the first word that came to mind; the word that we’d just read in class; the one which my only information about was that it was a bad word. Now, it’s kinda funny to think about how if this was even just a few years later it’d be utterly hilarious that some scrawny white kid was calling some other scrawny white kid that word, but whatever.

Anyways, I can’t recall the immediate aftermath of that conversation, but recess ended. We went back to class. Life went on. Then I was called to the principal’s office. The office of our black principal (again, mind you, at the time I had zero indication as to what this was about, but I look back at it now and cringe cause like OOF kid wtf did you get yourself into).

In the office was the white kid’s friend, who evidently thought I directed said-word at him (and I mean, given his context, why wouldn’t he? No one who knew what the word meant would’ve believed that I meant it at the white kid when a black kid was present). I got scolded for it, or whatever, I actually can’t remember. I don’t even think they told my parents but I might be wrong cause they definitely know the story and I doubt I would’ve told them it.

Anyways, that’s the first and the last time I both learned about and used that word. I’m glad that, if any incident at all, that it happened so long ago when shit like that really doesn’t matter.

#random #personal #long post #don't read #I'm in a weird mindset today #ignore me

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josieandthepussycatsofficial · 5 years

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i have done my classic thing: i have started pride and prejudice 2005, i am 7 minutes in, and i am disgusting with this bastardization of the text

my liveblogs below the cut

elizabeth is a man-hating love-hater? not according to any book jane austen wrote!

elizabeth is too silly and improper, mrs bennet, kitty, and lydia are not at all silly enough

this sucks

lizzy is upset that mr darcy didnt find her attractive? that is a devastating mischaracterization and sets the whole plot and their relationship off on terrible and incorrect footing.

also wtf are they sitting under some benches at a dance?

hate that darcy immediately looks at elizabeth (in a way we’re meant to assume means he finds her attractive) as if his attraction to her comes from her initially from her appearance. he really was not interested in her until he began observing her behavior and interacting with he

when mrs bennet says, “it’s a shame [charlotte lucas] isn’t more handsome,” a terribly improper and humiliating thing to say, mr bingley snorts a laugh. mr bingley is not supposed to be improper at all. he has good breeding, he’s rich, he’s just also very nice and friendly. he would never laugh at that

i do not know enough about the regency era to comment, but it seems to me that there are certain liberties with historical accuracy wrt clothing and such in this film that you don’t see in the bbc miniseries. for instance, elizabeth coming to netherfield with her hair down? i don’t believe women ever wore their hair down at this time (*edit* the bbc series and this movie take place in different periods. bbc series: 1813, movie: 1797)

why is mr bingley so awkward? i mean i know why, it’s to make him seem charming and unthreatening and cute and relatable or whatever, but it’s just inconsistent. his character is extremely warm, friendly, polite, not terribly intellectual, but not a bumbling mess who can’t execute a thought without backtracking because he’s so nervous around his lady love

the book has comedy to spare, you don’t have to cheaply manufacture it in this way just because the director’s scared that his audience won’t understand the original humor/scared that he won’t have the ability to make the original humor understood/doesn’t understand the original humor himself because he doesn’t understand the source material!!

i also hate the sharpness and vitriol that this darcy puts in his language. he’s supposed to be uber-polite but cold and haughty. propriety doesn’t permit active hostility (such as when he’s bemoaning the liberal use of the word “accomplished” when applied to women) in regular conversation. that’s intense and insane

why does he speak so quickly? also they really should not have cut the whole netherfield drawing room scene, at least not the conversation between darcy and elizabeth about teasing and pride. they actually now that i think about it cut his whole thing on how a great man can never be too prideful. that’s really fuckin important character stuff! for both of them!

the comedy in this mr collins scene is not landing. they’re like laughing at him before he’s gotten too outrageous. and the actor is such a quiet, mild-mannered dude that he’s not really grating as he should be. this is supposed to be an extraordinarily annoying character, so annoying that the bennets can’t stand him for literally one meal.

ugh they have mrs bennet suggest to mr collins that he should pursue lizzy instead of jane. that’s not out of character for her at all but it misses the opportunity to show how scuzzy mr collins is, and also how fucking little he cares about who his wife is, assuming she meets the criteria of lady catherine de bourgh

ew mr wickham is so skeevy! lizzy’s into him because he’s hot and picked up her handkerchief? that’s it? is she an idiot? he’s not charming or good-natured or fun or funny at all. lydia: he’s a lieutenant! wickham: an enchanted lieutenant (referring to being enchanted to meet lizzy). like scream! what a gross pick up line!!!!)

and their flirtation is based on banter (no!) and him being self-deprecating (maybe, but not in such an obvious way “ignore me i’m next to nothing” what a fucking weird thing to say)

he literally charms her by pulling a quarter out of her sister’s ear. are you kidding? is she 8?

this dance scene btw elizabeth and darcy is all wrong. she immediately jumps on him with “it’s your turn to say something” after it’s been .1 seconds since he last spoke, and he spoke way more amiably (”indeed, most invigorating”) than would be his wont.

oh my god they’ve stopped dancing to angrily talk to each other in the middle of the dance floor? this is so incoherent with the characters (so improper!) and the time period. just cultivating more drama. this scene’s already juicy, they don’t have to be spitting angrily into each other’s mouths for it to come across

so silly and melodramatic that twice in this movie the entirety of a loud crowded drunken ballroom has screeched to a halting silence immediately for some minor drama. the first being the bingleys and mr darcy simply entering the room. the second being mr collins introducing himself to mr darcy (that one is especially ridiculous)

oh god why are they portraying mr collins as so sympathetic and sweet? he’s a fucking asshole! he’s not just annoying he’s a dick! that’s important, otherwise elizabeth is really unjustly mean to him, especially while she’s rejecting his proposal

oh i disagree with the way they play charlotte’s reasons for marrying mr collins. instead of her just not being romantic and marrying for practical reasons because that’s her nature, they make it a biiig thing like she has to marry because she’s old and ugly and otherwise she’ll go to the poorhouse

it’s not surprising that a lot of my critiques have to do with them pumping drama that doesn’t make sense into the story. making characters shout or spit words etc, because of course that’s what a hollywood film was going to do with a 19th century novel of manners

i guess i should say some good things about this movie. the cinematography is very lovely, obviously. i think it’s well cast, especially judi dench, with the exception of kiera knightley and the actor who plays mr collins. i think matthew mcfayden could’ve been a great darcy had he actually known anything about the character beyond the script

actually i take it back, judi dench isn’t quite amping up the ridiculous nature of this character like she should. they keep a lot of her silly lines but she doesn’t hit them to emphasize just how silly they are. she’s almost too stately to play this woman who, despite her great rank, enjoys spending her time being condescending to lower rank people

here comes my agreement with the grand critique of this movie: they make darcy out to be socially awkward rather than a haughty ass. he’s leaning in and whispering that he has trouble conversing with people, as if he means he has social anxiety and doesn’t mean, “small talk with simpletons bores me”

oh no they cut the delicious piano practice scene! they rewrote it and lizzy just says, “you should practice,” and we don’t get to have this famous, witty misunderstanding that elucidates darcy’s character so well!!!

oh no no no in this scene where colonel fitzwilliam tells lizzy that darcy split up bingleys attachment he tells her that the problem wasn’t the lack of fortune but the family! why?????? that’s half of the big reveal of darcy’s letter????? it’s when she realizes that oh his intentions weren’t so bad

i know i already said it but fuck darcy speaks fast. it sounds like shit. why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up and slow down? it’s weirdly inconsistent with his character. though i guess if they’re trying to rewrite him as socially awkward this could be part of that. but they shouldnt be! because it invalidates the whole premise of the story, their romance, and his character arc!

whoa whoa whoa and in the proposal scene when she says “why did you propose by telling me you’re doing this against your better judgement” he interrupted apologetically, trying to explain. what!!! no!!! he is an asshole! he’s insulted that this low rank woman would dare reject him. he didn’t suspect for one instant that she would. he’s fucking fuming from her first word

wow they’re chopping up this iconic proposal scene huh. i guess to make darcy still seem like a Nice Guy. he didn’t get to accuse her of only rejecting him because she was insulted by his proposal, she had to say that line. this movie is like, let’s make lizzy seem as insane as possible, and darcy as sweet as can be.

you’re not supposed to realize how wrong lizzy is, it’s supposed to creep up on you very slowly. youre supposed to feel like she’s been very reasonable up to this point, and you’re as shocked as she is when she reads the letter.

even his face! so shocked and sad like a kicked puppy standing there in the rain (we won’t even touch why the fuck they’re standing outside in the pouring rain). he’s angry right now! he’s so mad! he’s supposed to be fucking mad, because he’s a proud, arrogant, asshole!

oh my god and look he’s saying the lack of fortune of the bennets had nothing to do with it, and lizzy wow she’s sooo crazy for suggesting it, even though 20 seconds ago he just said it sucks that i’m in love with you ‘cause you’re so low class. god this scene sucks

there’s a reason this is all written in a letter in the book, it works much better that way. this is not a back and forth, lizzy doesn’t get to ask questions and poke holes. he offers his defenses and is still kind of a dick, and lizzy has to read it all without responding or rejecting it, really has to sit with it, the way you can’t do in a fight

oh and he just apologized for accurately noting that elizabeth’s family is often really disgustingly improper! how fucking out of character! both in general and in the scene because, and i can’t stress this enough, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY

oh ok i have to redact some of my former criticism. he finally gets mad at the very end here, and makes the comment about “did you expect me to rejoice in your low birth?” though he still didnt say the crucial “perhaps you would have accepted had not the manner of proposal offended you”

wait what the fuck??? did they just lean in for a kiss and lean away?? like a whole, i’m angry at you i’m hot for you let’s fuck thing? what the fuck? not only is that cheap romance melodrama but also lizzy HATES this man. not like oops i love-i mean hate you but really hates him

why do they choose to have elizabeth not tell jane about the proposal? i can’t imagine there being any reason? except of course that’s she’s secretly already in love with him and doesn’t want to admit it! gag

this scene between elizabeth and mr bennet about lydia going off with the forsters is well done imo

ugh god but they’ve given lizzy’s “what are young men to rocks and mountains?” line to mary, making it seem stupid and platitudinal, because that’s mary’s character

oh good, elizabeth is going on another “all men are trash” rant that is a thinly veiled reference to darcy. they’re just fucking taking a wrecking ball to this character’s credibility and intelligence huh?

this is really devastating actually because at this point the movie is telling us that lizzy is fighting through the anger and hate and realizing she loves darcy, after their sexy confrontation and his letter. in reality, she’s realized she was wrong and is doing some deep self-reflection.

she feels a little sheepish about how she boldly she accused darcy of things she was so wrong about but she still isn’t in love with him because he’s still a fucking proud ass! he just happened to be right about some shit that she was too prejudiced to realize

it doesn’t make sense if she falls in love with him before he grows and becomes a good person. it shows a weakness of character on her part and makes his eventual character growth just a cherry on top. oh that’s nice, they’re in love *and* he’s not gonna treat her like shit. totally invalidates the whole point of the story, overcoming personal defaults and finding healthy love that way

wow they make lizzy so stupid! she objects so stupidly to visiting pemberly! oh let’s not. he’s so…. he’s so… he’s so rich! wtf are you talking about? in the book she’s just kind of like eh idk…. do you really want to go? i guess if you think we should go… oh he won’t be there? oh cool let’s do it

ok so i’m 1:21:54 into the movie. i have 45 minutes left. i’m stopping. i’m angry and getting no joy from this so. this was a humiliating project for me, thinking i could enjoy this movie. never again

#pride and prejudice

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smollandtoll · 6 years

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HC: The Beautiful Goalie Problem

First order of business: As this is the first Gabriel Landeskog/Tyson Barrie headcanon we are posting we thought you should all enjoy a PRIMER on why they are amazing. You should go explore their tag on AO3 if you are thirsty for more Tall Bossy Europeans banging Slightly Neurotic Canadians With A Sweet Tooth (do we have a type? We might have a type). Other than that you just need to know that Gabe is a Babe and Tyson is cute as a woodland creature. They flirt a lot.

Second order of business: How familiar are you with Lithuanian and sometimes San Jose Sharks Goalie and professional model Mantas Armalis? Here are some photos:

(PSA because we know literally nothing about Mantas Armalis other than that he is beautiful and unashamed of it, he’s a goalie, and he is Lithuanian - we’ve decided to characterize him as like genuinely sweet and secure in his masculinity but Straight)

Our HC starts like this, Armalis is playing for the Sharks (we don’t think he actually is right now), the Avs have a night out after an East coast game and manage to catch a Sharks game in progress at the bar.

We are jumping straight into a universe in which Tyson has a well-known mancrush on Gabe. It’s not even that different from reality, with the calling him a chiseled viking stallion and all. But this is a legit, slightly despairing crush that Tyson is actually pretty decent at dealing with and only occasionally pops its head up when Gabe’s hair looks particularly good or Avs media makes him write a Valentine’s Day card ffs. But Tyson is a fairly flirty guy, and has little to no filter, especially when he’s flustered so no one really takes him that seriously, especially not Gabe. It’s like the ongoing tradition of both complimenting and chirping Gabe is his trademarked ambiguously gay thing. As a gay dude in hockey that would pretty much have to be your specialty - that or utter awkward silence. But still, flirting is a two way street. We’re looking at you, Valentines writing, smiley-eyes giving, clap-backing GABE. But anyway - Tyson has been (casually, low-key, manageably) hung up on Gabe. UNTIL.

The second Tyson sees Armalis he’s just struck dead, eyes wide, beer forgotten in front of him.

“Sweet baby Jesus, I didn't know men could be that beautiful. Like he's making Gabe look like a cabbage patch kid.” He probably says it way too loud and garners the interest of everyone around them including Gabe who heard his name slandered and leans in to see what’s up.

"Gabe move your giant head, you're blocking the view of that beautiful man." Tyson doesn’t even notice the way everyone is looking at them with surprise and amusement mixed with confusion. It seemed to all of them that Tyson was a one beautiful man kind of man but apparently he could be swayed by even more impressive cheekbones.

No one has ever ‘trumped Gabe’s hotness’ before, and Gabe personally finds it pretty amusing at first, the way that Tyson is drooling openly about this other guy. But as the night wears on he gets kind of tired of hearing about how blue and piercing the goalie’s eyes are, how his lips are just so, so perfect. And he’s literally a model! And an NHL player! Husband material right there.

It definitely goes on like that for a couple weeks, blooming into full crush territory, Tyson occasionally spouting about that beautiful goalie, how he even looks amazing behind a full face mask. The boys all tease him about about his ‘cali boyfriend’, and then continue teasing as he protest by only making increasingly ludicrous claims about Lithuanian goalie’s hotness and starts to turn redder and redder (as he is wont to do). One part of his embarrassment is because of the guys teasing him, and one part by his own blunderingly obvious crush. It’s like Great Wall of China sized by now, like you know when someone tells you to stop talking about something because you’re being annoying but you’re obsessed and you just physically can’t? That’s what he’s like.

The Boys: SO COLD TYS, YOU'RE SO LOVE EM AND LEAVE EM, JUST THE NEXT BEEFY EUROPEAN HUNK YOU CAN FIND, EH??? (towel snaps)

Meanwhile Gabe kind of sits in the wings and gets further and further wound up about it. He knows he’s irrationally fuming, it wasn’t like Tyson really meant anything about these comments, OR about the comments he’d always said about Gabe, but by now they were routine and comfortable. Also Gabe has definitely rarely encountered better looking men than himself, or at least men that other people would be more attracted to, so he’s really not used to the sensation of being sincerely jealous.

The tension in the locker room is probably palpable, Gabe would try SO HARD to laugh it off, "Haha, yes, we all knew about this giant crush Tyson had on me that I in no way reciprocated and that it has moved on to greener pastures, haha."

BUT HE RECIPROCATED HARD. Oh did he reciprocate. He was just waiting for the timing to be right you know?! With the season and all things were delicate and he didn’t want to screw anything up but they seemed to have been circling each other! They were getting closer and closer to some resolution to all the complicated feelings building between them - and BAM suddenly Tys is pining for this other guy? And he’s a world class hottie who would be lucky to have someone like Tyson being in love with them?????

Tys by now is like campaigning all of his contacts for guys that know him or are on the sharks so he can introduce/endearingly embarrass himself (also he’s a little bit self deprecatingly going for guys way out of his league (in his head) so they're unattainable and he can never have love because he doesn't believe he deserves love - like he knows he’s the funny sidekick type not the leading man type etc. and like it’s just safer to hardcore flirt with guys that would never even look at you than to actually try for something and maybe not get it).

Gabe has moved on from pasting uncomfortable smiles on his face and swallowing his jealousy to pasting uncomfortable smiles on his face and openly moping in heartbroken despair when he thinks no one is looking.

But Nate was looking, because Nate knew, Nate knew. He has 100% been privy to all the times Gabe like took a too-drunk-off-his-ass-from-a-few-coolers Tys home and tenderly tucked him in and made sure he was comfy and not gonna vom -- ABOVE AND BEYOND CAP DUTIES GABE. Nate knows about your dirty Tyson loving secret.

So Gabe is moping hard as we already stated, and Tys is still frothing over another dude - and secretly he's relieved to have another crush, because the thing with Gabe was getting embarrassing for him, it was growing legs and starting not to be able to be just shrugged off. Other people were starting to notice that he was being a little too genuine with his comments with Gabe.

But it’s been long enough, Gabe is tired of moping and he wants to move on, he wants to find peace but he’s never going to find it without addressing his feelings and directly facing what is happening between them so what he gets all his feelings boiled down to sounds like:

I was reading into our friendship...seeing things that weren't there...like actual affection, and I was just a convenient piece of ass, I guess.

Still feeling hurt and upset about that, but still loving Tys, because he's a genuine dude - but also just trying to reconcile the things he's now hearing Tys blatantly say about this other guy - those things he used to awkwardly stifle when Gabe came into the room in his towel and shower sandals.

Gabe is HURT. Tys is in DENIAL/SELF LOATHING. Nate is so TIRED.

There would then have to be a lot of Nate like meddling/trying to get them to use their words. But, as it goes, anger/resentment would probably mix into the sludge of emotions and trigger Gabe back around to envy, making him posture and be Extra Babe™ and kind of torture Tys. Which, unfortunately, only makes him re-double his focus on Armalis.

But that, in turn probably makes Armalis notice Tys because he is legitimately so cute and also all these tweets about him are so flattering and sweet! And not-gay flirting is what Tys excels at, like he knows most of the dudes he flirts with aren’t gay, and he’s not gonna pressure them, but it’s just for fun and they like it cause he’s such a bro and everyone likes compliments right?

Anyway so Armalis responds - he flirts back! No harm in flirting! He's not actually gay but crushes are real! No reason to be rude! Maybe a photo! Maybe they could hang out!

So it’s just a chill mild flirty friendship with the added bonus of maybe helping Tyson acclimatise to super hot euro dudes.

(The Sharks social media and the Avs social media have been exchanging eyeball emojis about all this and swapping DMs about trying to figure out how to use this friendship to a publicity advantage)

But then Armalis posts a couple of instagram selfies of them pre-game next time the sharks are in town. Cue Gabe losing his fucking MIND about it. At first he's like “BRB, I'm gonna go jump off the roof of the Pepsi Center.” but then he's like “....you know what? NO. THAT'S MY CHIPMUNK. YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM. I'M GOING TO BEAM ALL OF MY THOUSAND WATT VIKING SUN GOD FURY AT YOU MORTAL.”

But first there’s a lot of venting to long suffering Nate and probably whatever Swedish phone tree exists in the NHL (don’t tell us there’s not a Swedish phone tree, if there’s a Russian knitting circle there’s a Swedish phone tree).

Swedish group chat probably:

Horny: No sympathy, you gotta lock down your man

Karlsson:...haha!! he's so much better looking than you!!

Backstrom: please stop adding me to these things

Lundqvist: 😏🍆

So, probably, after he’s ranted a lot about it, the wind goes out of Gabe’s sails and he wilts hard and thinks he's lost his babe-aliciousness and gets real depressed about it, y’know that thundercloud disassociating in the locker room and feeling sorry for himself.

Tyson definitely notices that, and probably goes to Nate with a, "Woah wait WTF is happening with Gabe?" and Nate manfully resists beating his head into something concrete and replies with "Nice of you to notice you broke his heart there, bud"

Tyson: HOW? I NEVER HAD SAID HEART!

Nate: (withering look)

But also, Tys and Armalis have grown an Actual Friendship™ and Tys probably tells him all about what’s happening with Gabe, and just all about Gabe in general, and how he is like actually probably legitimately in love with him.

And Armalis with all the cliche wisdom of a usual hockey bro: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, you know.

Tyson: are you quoting Gretzky at me?

Armalis: Go get your man already!

And then Tys has to dig Gabe out of his new den of sadness and candy wrappers and tell him he loves him and wants to tease him forever and have his giant headed babies and stuff. And like, that’s love, because think of the birth canal. Gabe: TYSON-

BONUS:

Tyson: (Dreamy sigh) what do you think lithuanian dirty talk sounds like

Nate: BRUTES.

Tyson: What?! Don't tell me you haven't watched Russian porn Nate, because I'd call you a LIAR.

#gabe/tyson #hockey rpf #if anyone tags the avalanche account in this #it'll get deleted immediately #ok?#RESPECT THE 4TH WALL #headcanons from the icy void

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darringauthier · 3 years

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The Predator (2018)

Genre: Action/Sci-Fi

Who’s In It: Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Tremblay, Keegan-Michael Key, Olivia Munn, Sterling K Brown, Thomas Jane, Alfie Allen

Who Directed It: Shane Black

Plot: When a young boy accidentally triggers the universe's most lethal hunters' return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled scientist can prevent the end of the human race.

Running Time: 1 Hour 47 Minutes

IMDB Score: 5.3

Meta Score: 48

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics 33% Audience 33%

Why I Watched It: Well I’ve seen all of the Predator movies and the two versus Alien so why the hell not.

How I Watched It: Netflix Canada

Random Thoughts: Bad poster by the way and lazy ass tagline.

Here’s a little fun fact when I first watched The Predator the IMDB score was 6.0 now as I’m doing the review it’s down to 5.3.

This is one of those films where the buzz and reviews were so bad I waited till it came to a service I had to see it and even then I was like maybe not. The funny thing was when i first saw the trailer and heard about it I was kind of excited, Shane Black coming back to the franchise, he co-wrote and was in the first one. So I was hyped but then the reviews came in and you can see the public didn’t care for it much either.

I’ll touch on this in my review but I wanted to talk about Boyd Holbrook a bit, I’ve seen like four of five of his movies and it really seemed like the powers that be were pushing him to leading man status and I’ve always found this funny cause you can’t force something and also all the movies I’ve seen him in were either alright or mediocre and he didn’t stand out, also with that being said if I’ve seen him that much it would mean he’s done a lot of genre. I bring this up cause when I saw he was the lead I thought maybe this is the one that breaks him out, not really.

What I Liked: I’ll just say this now, I didn’t mind this and no it’s not very good. I tend to be a light touch with genre films as long as they don’t annoy or bore me, this film did neither. I will say I do thing this has killed the franchise for now, it’s tired pure and simple. I did like the cast for the most part, I’m a huge Thomas Jnae fan so it was cool seeing him in a non straight to streaming movie and I liked his work with Keegan-Michael Key. I really liked Trevante Rhodes and he should have been the lead. I liked Olivia Munn’s performance cause you could tell her character was like WTF and she seemed to ground the movie in a way.

The action and the banter were fine and the film moved well right up till end where I thought it bogged down. Is this a great/good Predator movie, not really but it was watchable and it didn’t piss me off.

What I didn’t Like: Not going to argue this is a bit of a mess, the tone was way off and I blame Shane Black, you look at Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and The Nice Guys there’s violent but fun movies there was banter and jokes at times and even though it could be harsh they were quirky and the characters were likable. Here not so much, he got the tone wrong right off the bat, he also tried to make mental illness into a quirk and that’s just tone deaf and also I don’t think he actually had a hook for this movie. This movie felt like he did a Predator movie but wasn’t passionate about it. The action worked and some of the actors made their very thinly written characters work but by the end you were left with “what’s the point”. The plot is dumb to be honest and it didn’t help that some of the actors clearly didn’t have a handle on their roles, Boyd Holbrook is very bland in this and he looks bored to be honest. Poor Jacob Tremblay is lost here and Sterling K Brown seems like h’s stuck with a cliched character and they tried to make him funny, mean, cold hearted and a little meta and all of it made a very uneven performance.

I honestly thought the movie was decent until the end where it just goes on forever and you can tell the film is running on fumes by the finale. It dragged on and I didn’t care, none of the characters that survived were that interesting and the whole thing just felt very uninspired.

Final Thoughts: Not a great movie but I didn’t mind it.

Rating: 5.5/10 I was going to give it a 6 but the ending pushed it down but I do think it’s better than a five so 5.5 is what it is.

#the predator #shane black #boyd holbrook #olivia munn #jacob tremblay #thomas jane #keegan-michael key

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Bea & Fraze

Bea: Might just turn the dodgy cooker on and gas us all Fraze: Dramatic Fraze: Let's leg it before then, like Bea: Not dramatic just real Bea: how many card games can we play before it stops raining Fraze: So come on Fraze: I know you ain't put off by water falling from the fucking sky Bea: You think of a reason we need to be out there then Bea: there's no French exiting rn Fraze: Don't need one, everyone's pissing me off & I'm sick of this fucking caravan, so are you Fraze: End of story Bea: And I'm gonna calm you down, yeah? Fraze: You don't need to go into your tactics but yeah Bea: Don't make me laugh Fraze: Why not? Bea: 'cos there's literally nothing funny about being stuck in here with this lot Bea: wish they'd have let us stay home Fraze: Leave with me then Fraze: Fuck overthinking it Bea: Of course I wanna Bea: where are we even going, actually Bea: never mind where we say we are Fraze: Home, another seaside shithole, round the corner Fraze: Does it matter Fraze: If it ain't inside here, I'll take it Bea: [Tess being like help me make lunch or something] Bea: Ha Bea: when you decide lemme know, have to meet you there Fraze: [is the definition of a moody teen rn soz everyone] Fraze: Or you could just come with me now Bea: Sure, when you're the one that's gotta tell your mum no, we'll do that Bea: what's five more minutes of hell Fraze: [Storms out because the mature response like soz if anyone tries to ask him where he's going or wtf cos just gonna be a rude hoe] Bea: save me a 🚬 Fraze: You can have 'em all, my lighter's fucking dead Bea: least you got a valid reason to go shop then Fraze: Cheers for the positive spin, babe Bea: ☀ when there ain't none Bea: I know Bea: been said so many times Fraze: Don't make me laugh Bea: Why not, you're free Bea: temporarily Fraze: 'Cause I'm not in the mood to shout 'free at last' or some shit even if I am Bea: Poor baby Bea: not gonna feel bad for you 'til I've made these kids stupidly specific sandwich orders Fraze: It don't mean you've gotta take the piss 'til then Bea: I ain't Fraze: Whatever Fraze: I don't wanna kick off at you, do I Bea: I know Bea: it's shit Bea: but we can't be throwing tantrums like we're their age, like Fraze: If they wanna treat me like a fucking kid instead of letting me stay home then why the fuck shouldn't I act like one Bea: 'cos I don't wanna fuck some whiny kid, do I? Bea: Think on Fraze: Alright I'll come back & help prepare lunch like I'm some old bloke Fraze: Fuck off Bea: Yeah, that's my type in a one Bea: twat Fraze: What do you fucking want, Bea? Bea: No, what do you want Bea: 'cos not kicking off at me is bullshit Fraze: & you reckon I'm the one who's skilled at turning any shit into a fight, yeah? Fraze: Have a word with yourself Bea: Seriously Bea: I was just trying to talk to you without going on about how shitty we all know this is already Fraze: Seriously, I really like you but you really wind me up Bea: Hardly gonna take that personal Bea: everything winds you up Fraze: Yeah well Fraze: Fucking genetic probably Bea: If you're happy with that excuse Bea: don't seem it Fraze: Well done working that out, like Bea: hardly the enigma code but tah Fraze: Still, credit where it's due Bea: So sweet Fraze: Course, get told that all the time Bea: doesn't SOUND like something your mum'd say Bea: but I'll take your word for it Fraze: So trusting Bea: Any particular reason I shouldn't be? Fraze: Loads but none of them are 'cause of me Bea: Yeah Bea: don't need to take the convo there Bea: do we Fraze: I'm just saying Fraze: I am pretty godlike but I didn't create the world, like Bea: 😂 Bea: You're lucky I don't have friends to send all the stupid shit you say to Fraze: You wouldn't even if you did Fraze: You ain't like that Bea: Lucky you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You finished these sandwiches yet or what? Fraze: Really fucked your Saturday job prospects if you ain't Bea: Rude but can't say I'm too gutted Bea: if the punters were even half as annoying as my sister Bea: you still want me to come Fraze: Do you need me to say I miss you Fraze: You're meant to be smart Bea: I am Bea: why do you think I'm waiting for you to say it Fraze: Fair Bea: Go on then Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: I miss you Fraze: Tell my ma you're going to find me & then do it Bea: Alright Bea: Be right there Bea: where are you though Fraze: Went the shop Fraze: & didn't get banned Fraze: See? So grown up now Bea: Impressive Bea: don't change too much thoug Fraze: 'Course not Fraze: Basically perfect as I am Bea: 😏 Bea: Shut up Fraze: You know you don't want me to Bea: Maybe not Fraze: I've got loads to say to you Bea: Yeah? Fraze: Come find out Fraze: Hear me out Bea: I am Fraze: Good Bea: [Show up like I'm listening] Fraze: [Gives her sweets he just bought cos you don't have to say everything with words and he did miss her & he's sorry for being a dick 99% of the time] Bea: [just happy about this 'cos unexpected and pure] Fraze: [kisses her obvs] Bea: [kissing back with feeling 'cos missed you too] Fraze: [then lights a 🚬 for her cos she said save me one and he ain't forgotten, always listening this boy] Bea: [when it's so needed lmao, 'you're the best'] Fraze: [when you wanna stay in the good books so you telling her how much you've been thinking about her and what you've been thinking] Bea: [when you're pouty 'there's no fucking privacy here'] Fraze: [you can literally see the cogs turning because he's trying to think of where they can find some. 'When the rain stops they'll all fuck off out & we can head back in without being seen'] Bea: ['has to stop eventually, yeah' smiles, 'reckon we can pretend you got lost on the way to your room and ended up in mine or?'] Fraze: [Smiles too because actually likes the rain for the mems and the fact there's literally nobody about. 'Nah but there's no need to pretend you're the only fucker I want around me this holiday, not a secret, like'] Bea: ['exactly, they're not reckoning it's 'cos I'm so special, like' rolls her eyes] Fraze: ['you are though'] Fraze: [Gives her a LOOK and it's not a pisstaking one] Bea: [when you don't know what to say or do so you're just like 'see how you feel when you're not stuck in a tin can with that lot'] Fraze: ['you reckon I'm gonna change my mind, yeah?'] Bea: [shrugs in a 'let's see' kinda way but is pulling herself closer to him] Fraze: [kisses her because he won't & we all know it but ILY curse is trying to get me] Bea: [just about to be like wanna go loiter in the arcades or something when the cars pull up like get in we're going cinema/aquarium/bowling whatever rainy day activity and you're just there like what did they seeeeeeee] Fraze: [is literally 😒 and trying to be like we're alright here cheers but who is listening cos you ain't mcvickers you can't run totally wild without nobody giving a shit soz] Bea: [getting in the car like lord jesus help me, poor Joe, least you have each other] Fraze: [literally fuming because you can't get up to anything like you're JJ unlucky lads so 🚬 out the window to annoy your mum oh boy you're gonna get a slap] Bea: this is wholesome family fun Fraze: Don't Fraze: Fucking hell Bea: you know, have something to write in our 'what I did on my holiday' diaries Bea: 👍 Fraze: There's shit I'd rather be writing Fraze: Even if Miss would rather not read it Bea: 😂 Bea: Might be into it Bea: more likely ring the social but you know Fraze: Place your bets Bea: I feel like I'm Rocky's age rn Fraze: I ain't fucking having loads more days of them treating us like we are Bea: I know Bea: what you gonna do Fraze: I dunno yet Fraze: Loads of time to work it out while we're stuck doing this bullshit though Bea: True Bea: get my thinking cap on Fraze: What if like Bea: Go on Fraze: I was just thinking how much good came out of us watching the kid last time Fraze: If we take the baby my ma won't care what we do Fraze: When it ain't raining he needs to go for walks and shit Bea: That's a good idea Bea: get to pretend we're being helpful Bea: let us do that all we want Fraze: I dunno how I'm gonna get her to think I give a shit about this one but could work Bea: 'cos you're so mature now Bea: probably dash that cig out though Fraze: You want a go on it first? It's gonna be a long fucking day Bea: Yeah Bea: may as well Bea: least we don't have to try and keep this secret and all Fraze: My ma can reckon she's worked all mine out if that's as far as she gets Fraze: [Shameless excuse for her to lean out of the window with him and them to be close for as long as the 🚬 lasts] Bea: Bit better, like Fraze: Yeah Fraze: [At least a small mercy if Fearghal is driving them aside from no annoying kids there'd be some fucking jams playing lol] Bea: [If y'all ain't picking up on these vibes you're dumb af lmao like hello] Fraze: [the looks that'd be going back and forth because stuck in this car and nothing else they can do] Bea: You're so blatant 😏 Fraze: Shut up Fraze: I ain't Bea: and so easy to wind up Fraze: If you wanna see blatant, watch this Fraze: [Does something risky and saucy like boy no] Bea: Fraze Fraze: Bea Bea: What are you doing Fraze: Proving a point Fraze: I can always be more blatant Fraze: & you're just as easy to wind up Bea: Dickhead Bea: this is beyond blatant Fraze: And you ain't mad about it Bea: they'll be more than that if we get caught right now Fraze: Who's catching us? My da's driving & Joe ain't on the same planet Bea: I hate you, you know Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I know you don't Bea: Okay so I don't but Fraze: But what? Are you gonna try and tell me you hate this Bea: Nah Fraze: There's no but then, is there? Bea: [just gives him a look] Fraze: [Gives her one back] Bea: Are we sure I don't hate you? Fraze: You tell me, babe Fraze: [Boy you better stop, getting so cocky about this sneaking around life] Bea: [When one of you needs to know better but you don't] Fraze: [Makes me lol because ruster are exactly the same in the future, Oh Bea you can't say shit my dear but good luck] Bea: When we get there Bea: come with me okay Fraze: 'Course Bea: I can't wait but that's your fault so Fraze: Much as I like winding you up, I ain't gonna make you Bea: Don't Fraze: I told you, I miss you Bea: You don't need to Bea: we can do this Bea: whatever we want Fraze: I know Fraze: Me & you Fraze: There's nothing we can't do Bea: Yeah Bea: [look of love beech] Fraze: [Gives it back obvs] Bea: [let's get 'em out of this car, how far away is it gonna be] Fraze: [Has anyone ever gotten out of a car faster in their life] Bea: [casual torture of having to wait to pay and go in, so drama] Fraze: [At least that can be masked as they don't wanna be here, thank god] Bea: [the joys of family holidays amirite everyone] Fraze: [There's probably so many people there cos all had the same idea so would take ages] Bea: [least if baby Rock started fussing they could be like WE'LL GO lmao] Fraze: [Good idea guys, get that plan rolling] Bea: I think all of Dublin is here today Fraze: Be harder for my Ma to keep an eye on us then Bea: don't think it's us she reckons will be tryna take the sealife home in our pockets Bea: we're good Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, we're good Bea: Very Fraze: 😏 Bea: actually can't see through these crowds Bea: how close to the front are we Fraze: [Lols because she's so smol] Fraze: Not close enough Bea: don't laugh at me it's claustrophobic down here Fraze: Want me to pick you up? Bea: Yes Bea: but no Bea: 'cos then I'll just wanna Bea: go Fraze: [A dangerous look] Bea: Stop it Fraze: Easier said than done Fraze: But alright Bea: You're so distracting Bea: I can't look at anyone else Fraze: Don't Fraze: There isn't anyone else Bea: I wish that was true right now Fraze: [Takes her hand for a sec stealthily because same] Bea: [ily curse always just hold that hand really tight and shh] Fraze: [But then let go before any of the kids notice you cos the kind of shit they would] Bea: [y'all shut your nosy mouths] Fraze: [Let's stop being mean and say it's their turn to go in finally] Bea: [when you dash off so fast you look like you're buzzing about the aquarium]7 Fraze: [bye bitches] Bea: [bathroom shennanigans as if people wouldn't be queuing and judging] Fraze: [Thank god they could give less of a shit, no shame ever] Bea: [soz not soz fam/world] Fraze: [Later talking about how he's gonna have a massive aquarium in his house one day cos rich people shit] Bea: ['have a shark, very bond'] Fraze: [is buzzing about that idea shamelessly] Fraze: [The convo obvs turns into what else he's gonna have when he's rich af] Bea: [a convo she can get behind obvs, probably knows what she wants to do already lbr so] Fraze: [control your 😍 boy] Bea: [when you're lowkey having a good time #fakes] Fraze: [Especially because he'd make her share the sweets he bought her earlier none for you though kids #soz] Bea: [so shaded, also don't want your gross fishy hands in the bag tho so] Fraze: [stealing Rocky to trial run this plan because only so much chatting and looking at fish you can do after a while] Bea: [looking like the youngest parents ever] Fraze: [Judgey looks from old people activate but maybe the rain stops for a sec so they can take him outside cos he's 'fussy' and be alone for a sec] Bea: ['When I'm rich, I won't ever go on holiday anywhere where the weather ain't perfect'] Fraze: [When you mean to say you but you say we because in love 'We can like hire an island or some shit'] Bea: [when you don't correct 'cos you don't wanna just meeting it with enthusiasm, 'until we can afford to buy one, obviously'] Fraze: [When you're just grinning because you hadn't even considered being that rich cos lowkey poor af forever & you so happy you're even being nice to baby Rocky, it's a moment] Bea: [he would be cute lbr] Fraze: [when you snuggling him and your bae so you do look like a fam lol] Bea: [haters back off it's cute] Fraze: [giving her so many 😍 like just say it boy, I'm dying] Bea: ['he looks a bit like you when you were a kid' 'cos baby mems] Fraze: [Looks at him like hmmm like he never thought about it cos probably hasn't. 'Ain't as cute as me though'] Bea: [Lols and covers Rocky's ears like don't listen] Fraze: [whispers something hot in her ear while his are covered] Bea: [does that fake face slap thing ('cos you're so scandalized ok) where you use your hands to plant a smooch] Fraze: [some good kissing for a minute because baby Rocky isn't a cockblock] Bea: [real MVP] Fraze: [but then the rain is back so gotta take that baby back in sorry lads] Bea: [mother nature cockblocking, there's probably a shitty cafe they could sit in, share a coke] Fraze: [the fucking mems] Bea: [also a giftshop pls buy something dorky] Fraze: [some stationary for her of some sort cos he's always ripping the piss about homework like] Bea: [get the boy a shark] Fraze: [bitch I nearly screamed] Bea: [when you pretend you ain't but you're so cute] Fraze: [so like mcvickers goodbye] Fraze: [okay but Tommy, Ali & Ro descending upon the gift shop so you gotta stop being coupley af for a sec] Bea: [always having to stop kids buying the most ridiculous tat in places like that] Fraze: [Tommy wanting to get something 'girly/fabulous' and Fraze making fun of him because job as big brother and dickhead] Bea: [just walking away from that situation, lord knows what Ali and Ro are after lmao] Fraze: [I'm just like Joe? Are you okay babe? Where is he] Bea: [does anyone care, 'scuse you] Fraze: [Tess because shameless fave #problematic] Bea: [we get it, he's your easiest child but honey it's because he's bottling that shit up for later] Fraze: [Mcvickers steering all the children away from the tat like come on, the rain's stopped again] Bea: [hit that beach lads] Fraze: [But a minor hiccup of discovering Ali's trying to steal creatures haha] Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably a crime if she weren't underage Bea: have to hit up greenpeace sharpish Fraze: You know she was counting on those giant fucking eyes and knowing smile to get her out of it Fraze: Get your sister to start crying on her behalf if all else failed, like Bea: Probably a solid plan Fraze: Don't miss a trick that one Fraze: They're basically the Krays that pair Bea: 😂 Bea: with more menace Fraze: Exactly Bea: Some of the shit they get up that your mum tells me Bea: so God knows what else actually Fraze: I don't reckon I wanna know Fraze: Have to sleep with one eye open then Bea: Seriously Bea: not to mention plausible deniability Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You wanna go to the beach with that lot? Bea: Not if you have a better offer Fraze: Easy to bullshit that we're coming but then hang back at the caravan Fraze: It'll be ages before they give a shit we ain't there Fraze: If they do Fraze: And then even easier to say you're sick or something Bea: Yeah Bea: we've done our bit for the day Bea: not gonna be mad if we want some time to chill Fraze: Been the best babysitters going Bea: Exactly Bea: weather providing Bea: owed at least an hour or so of interrupted alone time Fraze: Thinking about that makes this car ride back less of a pisstake Bea: You'll make it, babe 😏 Fraze: I'll survive for you, yeah Fraze: Plenty of room on this floating door like Bea: such a romantic, you Fraze: One of many things about me that appeals to you, I know Fraze: Can't offer to draw you though Bea: Could give it a go for you Fraze: Yeah? Fraze: Alright Bea: Not promising it'll be worth much but you know Fraze: I can promise I ain't gonna sell it Fraze: Won't need the money for our island, will I? Bea: Should probably kick it for your eyes only if we're going full Titanic here, like 😂 Bea: 'course not, heart of the ocean was trashy anyway Fraze: When I buy you jewelry you better fucking not throw it into the sea Fraze: Rich but not stupid Bea: Have better taste than her dickhead fiancee, like Fraze: Not hard Bea: Thanks for the stationery Bea: even if you were taking the piss Fraze: No need to thank me just don't lob it out the car window Fraze: Or into the sea Bea: or at your head, yeah Bea: got it Fraze: You can chuck it at my head Fraze: That's foreplay basically Bea: Hmm Bea: know it was your first time and everything but Fraze: 😂 Fraze: I like buying shit for you anyway Fraze: I can't tell anyone we're together but I still want you to know, like Bea: I know Bea: not gonna forget Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't Bea: Nah, never Fraze: [a look because ILY curse is strong] Bea: Imagine how much easier it'd be Fraze: What? Bea: if it was a normal situation and we could just be honest about it Fraze: Change one thing & you change all of it though Fraze: How we met weren't normal but I don't wanna unmeet you Fraze: Who the fuck would we even be? Bea: Yeah Bea: you're right Bea: must be nice though Fraze: If you wanna tell 'em, we can Fraze: I chose you first & you're not my fucking sister Bea: It ain't even that I wanna Bea: I dunno Bea: fuck being normal anyway yeah Fraze: Figure out what you do want & I'll figure out how to give it to you Fraze: You know that Bea: Just like that? Fraze: Yeah Bea: That's why I like you Fraze: I mean it Fraze: There's nothing I can't do & even less we can't do together Bea: I know you do Bea: and I want you so badly right now Fraze: Then I'll have to make it happen, won't I? Fraze: Can't break a promise that fast Bea: I'm so ready to be alone with you Fraze: Me too Bea: [THE TENSION like soz Joe seriously] Fraze: [hence I'm like he's gotta at least have a clue what's occurring] Bea: [you know, also not an idiot, everyone knows they're basically in love anyways] Fraze: [exactly and they are not subtle especially him at sneaking about in the night/morning] Bea: [foosie moment 'cos what else are you getting away with rn] Fraze: [At least it's not a long car ride even though it feels like forever] Bea: Fuck Bea: what if Joe doesn't go either Bea: he's had a shittier day than us Fraze: I'll kick him out Fraze: He ain't won a fight against me for years Bea: Yes but will that actually work on convincing him Fraze: You got a better idea? Bea: Let me think Fraze: Not stopping you Fraze: Think on Bea: You are Bea: looking like that Fraze: Don't Fraze: Where else can we go if not there? Bea: Okay, so if he won't leave Bea: there's the shower blocks, yeah? and it's got the washing up bit too, so one of us needs a shower and one of us is being 😇 again Bea: barely anyone would be there in the day Fraze: Or I could break into another caravan Fraze: That'd be piss easy Bea: Probably Bea: Risky if the next family shows up, like Fraze: The weather's shit and so's this place Fraze: Other families have more sense Bea: 😂 Bea: alright then Bea: we'll work it out Fraze: 'Course Fraze: It's a plan Fraze: you go to the shower blocks, see how busy they are & I'll scope out the other caravans Bea: Okay Bea: Easy Fraze: Might still give Joe a slap anyway Fraze: Just 'cause Bea: Don't be mean Fraze: Don't be on his side Fraze: He ain't on yours, I am Bea: I'm not Bea: focus on me then, not him Fraze: I will Fraze: Soon as I can Bea: Good Fraze: I just can't fucking look at you right now Fraze: Jesus Bea: I know Fraze: I really wanna do something really stupid Bea: How stupid Fraze: Whatever you're thinking of, go harder than that Bea: Shit Bea: I already know that regardless they ain't gonna leave fast enough or be gone long enough Fraze: That's why I reckon another caravan's our best bet Fraze: We can just stay there Fraze: Even when they get back Bea: I just Bea: want you over and over again Fraze: I told you, whatever you want Bea: let's just stay away Bea: long as we can Fraze: Alright Bea: I hate it when you have to leave straight after Fraze: I don't wanna Bea: I know, it's just how it is Fraze: How it is is I don't ever wanna leave you Bea: Fraze Fraze: Yeah? Bea: I really like you, you know Fraze: I really like you too Fraze: Always have done Bea: Me too Bea: I'm not sorry for kissing you then, when we were little Fraze: I'm not sorry for anything back then or now Bea: Promise? Fraze: I swear Fraze: I told my Da I was gonna marry you, like I was having a man to man chat with him or some shit Fraze: Stupid but like I knew what I wanted, you know Fraze: I still do Bea: You've never told me that Fraze: Like I said, it was stupid Fraze: I was only a kid Bea: Not stupid Bea: but I won't call it cute either, know you don't like it Fraze: It's alright, he took the piss out of me, you can Bea: I don't wanna Bea: and I ain't Bea: we're all stupid when we're kids yeah Fraze: 'Course Fraze: Grew out of it, like Fraze: Basically Bea: Yeah Bea: not completely, I hope Bea: you promised me something really stupid Fraze: nah, not completely & not you Fraze: Couldn't grow out of liking you Bea: Sorry that I ain't sorry Fraze: I don't want you to be sorry Fraze: I ain't Fraze: Only that I didn't tell you before Bea: it's not like we didn't know Bea: it was just Bea: ignoring it for Bea: whatever reason Fraze: It's for them Fraze: But I don't give a fuck any more Bea: They can't actually stop us Bea: anyone Fraze: I didn't want my Ma to get any shit from the social or whoever & I don't but Fraze: I don't owe her shit Fraze: She dodged enough bullets when me and Joe were kids and she knows it Bea: Me either, obviously Bea: I owe her more but Bea: it's no one's business, it's so stupid Bea: we aren't related Fraze: Like I said, you were mine first Fraze: None of 'em would know you if I didn't Fraze: They don't get to tell me what I can do Bea: Why do I like when you say that Fraze: 'Cause it's right Bea: Yeah Bea: You're mine too Fraze: Yeah Bea: It's so surreal Fraze: I can pinch you if you want Fraze: It ain't a dream though Bea: You're an idiot Fraze: A fool for you, like Fraze: That's it Bea: [lols] Bea: well done 😏 Fraze: Smarter than you reckon Bea: You know that's not how I mean it Fraze: You're the only one who don't underestimate me Bea: 'cos I'M not stupid either Bea: and I know you Fraze: You're the smartest person I know Fraze: Not just smart for a girl Bea: You better not call me anything just for a girl Fraze: I just said I ain't that stupid Bea: Clever boy Fraze: 😏 Bea: [let them be there now] Fraze: [thank god how much more can they handle] Bea: [whaddya reckon Joe, stay or go?] Fraze: [if I was him I wouldn't wanna go, no shade boy] Fraze: If there's any shit from my Ma about where we're going or been, shut up & let me take it, yeah? Bea: Alright Bea: but I'll spare some time for thinking up a decent excuse if I can Fraze: Not loads though Fraze: Just 'cause we ain't on borrowed don't mean I don't want it all still Bea: You know I need all your time too Fraze: I know what you need Fraze: Come on Bea: [run off into the sunset] Fraze: [god bless] Fraze: [When you're trusted to go to the arcade because you've been looking after Rocky loads this hol & doing your sneaky shit very much on the low + Joe the shameless fave and responsible golden boy is going] Bea: [get on it with all those fun games] Fraze: [when you competitive af] Bea: [but it's fun 'cos the prizes are crap and the couple who win together] Fraze: [Gotta also win her something like my boo did for me though even if its not as cute as Sunshine] Bea: [big flex] Fraze: [Joe can win something for his girlfriend too, god bless] Bea: [and be having not a totally shit time for once] Fraze: [Lowkey having a good time with your bro cos you can be competitive and take the piss and pretend like you don't like him so no pressure] Bea: [when you're happy 'bout that on the low 'cos not about the awkwardness but not your place to be trying to #fixit, let them be playing some game so you can wander off] Fraze: [killing some zombies with your brother like your my brother & dad] Bea: [enter local fuckboys] Fraze: [When you must be having a good time cos you ain't noticed your bae is gone & you normally would] Bea: [just doing that thing of humouring but not encouraging you know the drill Fraze: [When you finally realise the bae ain't about so you check in #boyfriend] Fraze: Where are you? Bea: outside, having a smoke Fraze: Cheers for the invite, like Bea: You were having fun 🔫 Bea: you could come now though Fraze: I've won now so be right there Bea: Um can you mean now as in right now, not to be dramatic Fraze: What's going on? Bea: [doesn't reply 'cos drama] Fraze: Bea Fraze: [Comes to find her because when does she not talk to him ever] Bea: [These lads being aggro 'cos she's smacked the letchy one] Fraze: [When he's just gonna fight them all on his own cos that bitch like no get Joe to help you boy] Bea: [let's assume he'll hear 'cos squad] Fraze: [just two bros beating up dickheads together like old times, love it] Bea: [ha gotem] Fraze: [this squad are taking your shit squads tickets & money cos deserved thank you] Bea: [get sweets and toys for the kids with those tix] Fraze: [Especially Rocky cos fave] Bea: [no sweets for you baby boy] Fraze: [toy that you'll probably try and swallow though] Fraze: Talk to me Bea: I'm good Fraze: You ain't allowed to lie to me, remember Fraze: So you better not be Bea: Or what? Bea: I'm not not good Fraze: You wanna test that now, yeah? One fight not enough for you Bea: You'll have to go a harder if you want a smack Fraze: You got another one in you? Bea: You taking the piss? Bea: there was loads of them Fraze: Nah, I ain't Fraze: I just reckon if you can swing for me then you're alright Bea: I'm not hurt Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't be pissed off at me for checking Bea: I ain't Bea: but you don't need to Fraze: I know but I wanna Bea: Alright Fraze: You don't need me to look after you but that don't mean I won't, like Fraze: I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you Bea: I said thanks to you both, like Bea: and meant it Fraze: Yeah, I heard it Bea: well then Fraze: Nah, fuck that then Bea: don't make a fuss Bea: I ain't Fraze: Don't tell me what to do Bea: for God's sake Bea: do what you want but why bother Fraze: 'Cause you think you can pat me on the head and then put me back in my fucking box Fraze: Like we ain't so far fucking past that Bea: That ain't what I'm doing Bea: Idk what you want me to say Bea: boys are dicks, end of Fraze: One thing that ain't bullshit maybe Fraze: Jesus Bea: Fuck's sake, not right now Bea: not with Joe Fraze: [Sends him off with the money to get them something to drink a la my dream and gives her a look like well that's that solved] Bea: Such a smartass Fraze: So stop treating me like I'm my thick cunt of a brother Bea: [just makes a noise like 'rude!'] Fraze: [gives her a look like come on cos he knows she ain't chill about any of this] Bea: [shrugs, 'they were just dickheads, you sorted it'] Fraze: [shrugs back 'I don't give a shit about them'] Bea: ['me either'] Fraze: ['I ain't asking about them either, don't act like you don't know that'] Bea: [blood from a stone, soz boy, 'Come on, this is boring'] Fraze: [I hope you've got a sleeve he can pull on because that's the mood here so he can kiss her because unspoken things might work why not] Bea: [when you're going too hard 'cos your mood] Fraze: [when you're letting it happen cos you just wanna make her feel better] Bea: [when you gotta stop yourself from being that person but then you can't even look at him just like 'sorry'] Fraze: [when you pulling the bae closer to you if possible & you do the chin lift thing so she has to look at you because eye contact forever 'Don't. Fuck sorry.'] Bea: [shakes head and pulls away, 'no, it's fucked up.'] Fraze: [Shakes his own head. 'Like I ain't never done a fucked up thing.' Looks at her intensely 'Fuck normal, remember?'] Bea: ['Not to me, anyway, it ain't a free pass'] Fraze: ['I ain't hurt'] Bea: [Gives him a look 'cos using her words against her] Fraze: [Says her name softly and with feeling because I refuse to let you say ILY rn boy I don't care if you wanna] Bea: [Actually looks at him for a hot sec] Fraze: ['What do you want?' Doesn't need to elaborate because he knows she knows whatever it is he'll make it happen so just a look] Bea: [sitting and thinking in silence for a bit 'cos good question] Fraze: [🚬 while he sits and waits but passing it back and forth between them cos #mood] Bea: ['I just wanna- I don't know, for it to not even be a big deal, seriously, that's all I want'] Fraze: ['Yeah but it's always gonna be a big deal to me. Like, if someone even looked at you wrong that's gonna piss me off. Not 'cause you can't handle it or any of that bullshit but 'cause you're mine. End of.'] Bea: [grabs his hand 'but you got to fix it, you got to deal with it, like'] Fraze: ['I told you, they don't fucking matter. You do. And I can't do shit to make this really go away, can I?'] Bea: [laughs like yeah that's what I've been avoiding saying here] Fraze: [Pulls her up. 'Fuck this. Come on.' Cos taking her somewhere else to do something else that isn't this] Bea: ['What?'] Fraze: [Some handholding for Winnie & because it's allowed at a time like this] Bea: ['Just forget about it, okay?' pushing her forehead to his] Fraze: [Smiles at her genuinely. 'That's the plan, babe' & off they go again cos he on a mission] Bea: ['We don't wanna wait for the drink then? And Joe, like...'] Fraze: [Gives her a look like he'll come to us cos cocky forever] Bea: [shrugs and goes with it 'cos why not] Fraze: [Takes her to the beach where it's late enough by now there aren't loads of peeps about considering it ain't peak summer. Chucks a bucket & spade at her that some kid has left behind and lies down. 'Go on, bury me then'] Bea: [laughs 'have you actually lost it or? kneels down beside him] Fraze: [It's that or tunneling out but that ain't gonna shut me up much, like & I've seen enough prison shit to know it ain't foolproof enough for us either' Shrugs and closes his eyes] Bea: ['Not got any insurance I can cash in on, have ya?' genuinely smiling and when he opens his eyes again she'd be leaning over him 'such a dork' and a real kiss] Fraze: ['No point, invincible basically. Do your worst. His eyes widen (in that second before you have to close them again so you don't look like a mental person kissing with your eyes open) because not expecting that and lowkey undone by the realness always a little bit] Bea: [we know what 'bouta ensue] Fraze: [Don't hurry back Joe but do come back eventually cos I care about you babe] Bea: [Oh Joe, this is the worst holiday lmao] Fraze: [I hope he has got a girlfriend and Bea weren't wrong cos needs some happiness in his life damn] Bea: [in my head she probably just fancies him but nothing is being done about it lol] Fraze: [I love my future junkie son] Bea: [he's less of a relationship boy, like he'd have loads of little ones 'cos he'd start and then be distant and not what normal girls want in a boyf 'cos soz not here for your drama he's got more on his mind lol] Fraze: [what a mood, meanwhile I hope you two are gonna wait for him and not fuck off again cos rude] Bea: [when it's gon be obvious like how you sorting yourself out here lads] Fraze: [god bless, gonna have to get yourself to that shower block speedy before he returns] Bea: [look of love forever 'cos ily curse] Fraze: [likewise] Bea: [when you're like 'we should move' but don't 'cos #mood] Fraze: [when you only move closer to her despite knowing damn well that ain't what she meant] Bea: [when you ain't complaining, 'I miss not being able to touch you when other people are around'] Fraze: ['You can do whatever you want. We can.'] Bea: ['In theory'] Fraze: ['In reality, as long as you don't give a fuck about anything except what you want.'] Bea: ['That's the problem, ain't it. We already said, I can't get your parents in shit so...just how it's gotta be'] Fraze: ['And I already said, fuck them. I can always repeat it if it weren't clear enough though, like.'] Bea: [Just looking at him like, we know it ain't that simple, 'how it is is good though- isn't it?'] Fraze: [Gives her a look back like they can't stop us cos true and he knows it. But then gives a softer look & reassuring touch because obvs. 'Course. I told you, I wouldn't change any of it up to now. But that don't mean we can't have more.'] Bea: [big sigh but a weary smile 'cos still happy it's just a lot 'yeah'] Fraze: ['I love you, I wanna be able to do that properly, you know. So I will. I'll figure it out.'] Bea: [just quiet for ages 'cos he said it but you don't know if you should make it a Thing TM so but then you hit him with a 'We will' and the most MOST kiss] Fraze: [let's just let them have a make out moment on this empty beach thank you] Bea: [when you in love aw] Fraze: [don't worry babies you're gonna have it all] Bea: [after a while, have Joe show] Fraze: [thirdwheeling harder than ever but at least he has booze] Bea: [partayyy] Fraze: [watch the sunset kids live your best life] Bea: [but you should probably be back home soon lmao you children Fraze: [you know they gonna be late back and Tess will be like 😒] Bea: [ignoring all those mum texts 'til she threaten on rolling up] Fraze: [I'm cackling, don't test her kids she 100% would] Bea: [when you're gonna sneak away still though when they asleep heheh] Fraze: [god bless all the empty caravans because you're lowkey the only tourists] Bea: [gonna text as much hold up lol] Bea: tonight Bea: you wanna go back out when they're asleep Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Joe might not stay up half the fucking night if we let him neck most of this Bea: He won't dob us in anyway Bea: not saying tell him where we're going but you know Bea: long as they're asleep, that's the main thing Bea: and we don't fall asleep in some random caravan, like 😂 Fraze: You over your crush on him now then, yeah? Fraze: We'll set an alarm before we fall asleep, not that fucking stupid, like Bea: You're full of shit Bea: I never had a crush on him, please Fraze: You better not have Bea: I don't do crushes Fraze: Alright Bea: You don't believe me? Fraze: If I didn't, I'd say you were full of shit too Bea: I don't, this isn't an American teen drama Bea: can see when someone's good looking or not but not gonna write their name on my notebook or something Fraze: 😂 Bea: What Bea: why you laughing at me Fraze: Just thinking I'd be fucked if that's what I bought you all them pens and shit for Bea: Unlucky Bea: don't know what to tell you Bea: still draw you if you like, that's something Fraze: Yeah, it'll be something with with me as your model Bea: Could be Bea: got the height for it Fraze: Keep it in mind as far as future careers go then Bea: Can't be bad Fraze: You're fucked unless you're gonna grow like a foot in the next couple of years Bea: Yeah, thanks for that Bea: twat 😂 Fraze: I don't want all them cunts looking at you on a fucking giant advert by the side of the road anyway Bea: but I've just got to deal, have I? Bea: 🙄 Bea: they're less fussy about girl models height anyway, depending Bea: loads of them are barely over 5'5 Fraze: Fair, if you're hot you're hot Fraze: Not gonna get a fucking tape measure out if you've got any sense Fraze: Not for girls anyway Bea: Less about hot more about clothes horse Bea: no offense Fraze: Depends what kind of model you are Bea: You gonna get your kit off, are you Fraze: Could do Bea: 😑 Fraze: Cheers for the vote of confidence, babe Fraze: Good job I don't need it Bea: You said I couldn't Bea: not gonna stroke your ego over it Fraze: I said I didn't want you to Fraze: I ain't telling you what you can & can't do other than giving my brother the fucking eye Bea: Whatever Bea: I don't want to be a stupid model Fraze: Me either Fraze: Just keeping my options open Bea: Good for you Bea: smart Fraze: Island ain't gonna buy itself, like Bea: You know Fraze: Yeah Bea: [silent drankin] Fraze: [what a mood] Bea: swear whoever Joe got to buy this pocketed some of that money Fraze: Should've gone ourselves Bea: Yeah Bea: no getting pissed tonight Fraze: Do you wanna? Bea: Don't matter Bea: I'm good Fraze: If it didn't matter I wouldn't have asked Bea: Well Bea: either way we ain't Bea: not like I need to Fraze: We could Fraze: Ain't like I've never stole shit before Bea: I know Bea: I've been there plenty of times too Bea: I don't wanna though Bea: was just saying Fraze: & I'm just saying I ain't lost my touch Fraze: In case you forgot Bea: Alright Bea: plenty other ways to prove that Fraze: If I had anything to prove, yeah there are Bea: You're welcome Fraze: Am I? Bea: Yeah Fraze: Alright Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👌 Fraze: [drinking while you give a 'good talk' kinda look lol] Bea: [being like Imma go get ready for bed and leaving the bros] Fraze: [when you can't follow her even if you wanna] Bea: wake me up when you're in or they're sleeping, whichevers first Fraze: You'll hear me Fraze: Don't have to sneak in, only out Bea: Maybe don't wake the baby though 😏 Fraze: I'll put him back to sleep in a sec if I do Fraze: Had loads of practice now Bea: You're a pro now yeah Fraze: It ain't hard, you said it yourself first time we babysat him Bea: Still Bea: don't get too cocky or you'll be on babysitter duties for life Fraze: We've done such a decent job I reckon that's a danger already Bea: It's alright, only need to drop him on his head once and we're in the clear again Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably be more annoying when he's older if we actually though so you know Bea: just pretend Fraze: It don't matter we'll be long moved out by then & too drunk at every family gathering to give a shit Bea: True Bea: Poor boy is gonna be smothered Fraze: Sounds like a murder plot in the making Fraze: Did you want me to be on board? Bea: 😂 Bea: Not what I meant Bea: we'll be gone, remember Bea: just him and your 'rents Fraze: Assuming none of the others aren't still about freeloading Bea: Give them the benefit of the doubt Fraze: Whatever Bea: Saying I will Bea: not gonna be that much of a bitch and predict their futures for 'em quite yet Fraze: Give it a few more years before you commit to it Fraze: I know how much you hate being wrong Bea: How'd you know that Bea: Never am, like Fraze: Other than every time you've called me an idiot, like Fraze: 'Course Bea: I only ever said it as an observation Bea: not fact Fraze: An observation that's wrong Fraze: 'Cause I never am Bea: Personal opinion, McKenna Fraze: You're last naming me now, yeah? Fraze: My personal opinion is you're full of shit, babe Bea: No one likes a smartarse, babe Fraze: Wrong again Fraze: I'm well popular Bea: Egotistical bastards too Fraze: You including yourself in that? Bea: Was saying no one likes those either Bea: but if the shoes fits, I guess Fraze: When did you get so concerned about what everyone else likes? Fraze: Christ knows I couldn't give less of a fuck Bea: You're the one that's so popular Fraze: What's your point? Bea: You clearly care a bit Fraze: Nah Fraze: Just that impressive Fraze: I've told you that before Bea: God Bea: you're so irritating Fraze: Go to bed then Fraze: That's what you fucked off to do Bea: I am Fraze: Really slowly Bea: I have a routine Fraze: You'd probably get it done sooner if you shut up Bea: fuck off Bea: no one's making you reply Fraze: Just an observation, babe Fraze: & why wouldn't I reply? I'm not the one who left Fraze: Gutted if you expected me to use this time for brotherly bonding or some shit Bea: what are you even doing then Bea: sat in silence? Fraze: Like that's unheard of in this family all of a sudden Bea: You've both had a drink you should at least be able to do smalltalk no Fraze: What am I gonna waste my time chatting shit to him for? You've got that covered Bea: I'm going to bed, remember Bea: that's the whole point Fraze: You're still here though Fraze: That's my point Fraze: Why did you even go? Bea: 'Cos you were playing a game together before all that stuff happened Bea: so you're still capable Bea: that's why Fraze: Fuck off Bea: What Fraze: I don't need you playing games with me to bring about some fucking reunion Bea: Don't make it sound malicious when I'm just trying to fix what I started Bea: we could've still been there if it weren't for that nonsense Fraze: & I really don't need you to fucking fix me Fraze: Jesus Bea: Where Bea: where did I say that Bea: you aren't listening Fraze: Say something worth listening to instead of trying to act like a few hours of him tagging along & me being in a decent enough mood not to kick the shit out of him means any more than that Bea: Fine Bea: Whatever makes you happy Fraze: Don't Bea: Sure Bea: I'll go Bea: Enjoy your silence Fraze: Yeah 'cause I clearly will now Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: This ain't about me & you as good as admitted it just then Bea: I know it isn't Fraze: Don't fucking use me to try and make yourself feel better for shit that wasn't even your fault in the first place Bea: All I'm saying is don't let it ruin a perfectly good evening by making everything so serious Fraze: Fuck that Bea: Whatever Fraze: Any more bullshit you wanna throw at me to see if it sticks or can I go? Bea: Go Bea: I'm over this conversation Fraze: At least we feel the same way about something Bea: Thank god yeah Fraze: Never been more relieved, like Fraze: Goodnight Bea: Night, Fraze Fraze: Joe's heading back, if he don't make it, send out a search party or whatever Bea: None of us are that wasted sadly Bea: but will do Bea: what are you doing Fraze: Like he needs an excuse to not be paying attention to where the fuck he is or when Fraze: Christ knows but I know what I ain't & that's following him Bea: True but I figure warm bed tops being vague right now Bea: was freezing Fraze: Maybe Fraze: We'll see if he shows up in a sec or nah Fraze: You will anyway Bea: I'm not going to stand on the porch like your mother, sorry Fraze: I bet he's proper devvo on that Fraze: I meant you'd hear him Fraze: Or my ma kicking off about how late she reckons it is at least Bea: Obviously Bea: but our love is strictly forbidden now so he'll have to deal Fraze: Didn't stop me or you Fraze: He could grow a pair after winning that fight earlier Bea: Fingers crossed, even more obviously Bea: he's here anyway Fraze: Good for him Fraze: You can sleep soundly now knowing it too Bea: You're the one making me check in with you Bea: but sure Fraze: 'Cause I don't want the blame if he didn't show when he was meant to Bea: Alright Bea: bullshit but fine Fraze: Not my bullshit Fraze: Just the way my parents minds work Bea: Maybe Bea: but if you were really worried wouldn't you be here yourself Fraze: It's 'cause I ain't it'd be my fault 'cause I'm gone & so he's then they'd reckon we're together even though we ain't gone off together anywhere in years Fraze: But he's back so I don't have to give a fuck Bea: Exactly, so you're still gonna get in trouble for being late Fraze: When have I ever been home on time Fraze: They never do fuck all about it Bea: Okay then Bea: your night's your own Bea: good luck finding something entertaining Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👍 Fraze: You can go you don't have to sit there emoji-iing at me Bea: I'm saying night it's not a big deal is it Fraze: It's been said Fraze: So it's a waste of time Fraze: Why would you want that? Bea: You think I fall asleep soon as I hit the pillow? Fraze: Clearly not part of your routine Fraze: I ain't that stupid however much you wanna treat me like it Bea: You're being it right now Fraze: Stupid would be pretending I can be alone in a caravan full of fucking people Fraze: So nah, I ain't Bea: Stop talking then, if you really want to be alone so bad Fraze: Stop talking if you're not gonna say what you really wanna say Bea: and what do I really wanna say then Fraze: If I knew that I wouldn't give a fuck if you said it or not, would I? Bea: Suppose not Fraze: But there's something or you'd have put your phone down & left it there by now Fraze: I know when you're done with a conversation, like earlier & when you ain't, like now Bea: I've already asked multiple times Bea: but you don't have an answer so what else am I meant to do but wait Fraze: That's bullshit Fraze: We both know I'm the kind of cunt who has an answer for everything Bea: Not a good one, then Fraze: Since when do they have to be good Bea: since you want me to leave Fraze: I don't Bea: You keep telling me to so Fraze: That's what you want Fraze: Your fucking bright idea to salvage my night or whatever Bea: Well that got fucked however long ago now didn't it Fraze: Yeah Bea: Just come back for fuck's sake Fraze: Alright Bea: I'll meet you Bea: let's just go now Fraze: You know how much shit we could get in for that, yeah? Bea: Yeah Fraze: We can just stick to the original plan, like Fraze: They'll have to go to sleep once my ma's had a go at me Bea: Sure Fraze: Or you could wait for me on the porch, that did sound decent Bea: 😂 Bea: Better than your actual mum, yeah Bea: not much of a compliment is it Fraze: You can take it as one Fraze: Come on Fraze: You know I really wanna see you Bea: You do? Fraze: 'Course Bea: Are you still mad Fraze: You reckon I can stay mad at you? Bea: You can try Fraze: Not gonna for that bullshit Bea: Don't Bea: we'll have a better time together Fraze: Yeah Bea: if we can't go now Bea: at least come to my room just for a second Fraze: Nothing we can't do, babe Fraze: I know you ain't forgot Bea: then do Bea: I wanna see you Fraze: Are you still mad at me? Bea: Only for not being here already Fraze: Timed getting here well then Fraze: Come 🚬 before I have to go in Bea: I don't wanna Bea: [when you mean smoke rn so you obvs come out anyway] Fraze: [When you obviously weren't arsed either because you aren't smoking when she comes out it was just a shameless excuse cos you've had like no time alone today and you know you ain't gonna get long now but you gotta take what you can get before you can sneak off] Bea: [Have at it kiddos] Fraze: [When you just know he's gonna say ILY again because it's out there now RIP] Bea: [dies] Fraze: [When you're having the most intense make out ever like your fam isn't literally right there basically] Bea: [seriously you better hope they ain't curtain twitching bois] Fraze: [not a convo you wanna have rn or ever if you could help it] Bea: [gather your courage to go get shouted at by your mum lol] Fraze: [when you keep having really good 'last' kisses that then aren't] Bea: [no chill ever how have you not been caught frankly] Fraze: [literally only cos Rocky is a baby & keeping everyone busy] Bea: [real MVP wutwut] Fraze: [When you know he ain't gonna listen to a damn word Tess said cos too distracted soz babe] Bea: [when does he ever, or like any of these kids #mumlife] Fraze: [At least he wouldn't be talking back and kicking off like he mostly does you can have that one for free] Bea: [that's your first clue gurl] Fraze: [she'd 100000% think he had a girlfriend just not Bea obvs] Bea: [hawkward] Fraze: [An appropriate amount of time passes for a Tess Vickers Lecture TM] Bea: How was it Fraze: Standard Bea: You don't need comforting then? Shame 😏 Fraze: For the fact this holiday ain't close to over yet, I do though Bea: Are you telling me you'd rather be at School? Bea: Have to get that in writing or the teachers will never believe it Fraze: I'd rather be bunking off with you but if you wanna spread that rumour the teachers'll be thrilled, like Bea: 😂 Bea: I'd rather that too Fraze: Good Fraze: I miss you Bea: I miss you more Fraze: Count to a 100 and let's fucking go then Bea: 75 Bea: final offer Fraze: 95 & we don't come back til morning Bea: Ugh Bea: okay Bea: but don't get comfortable with me giving in to you Fraze: It's more fun when you try really hard not to Bea: Shut up Bea: if I have to count to 95, I need to focus here Fraze: Not like I said do it backwards Bea: can up it if you keep taking the piss boy Fraze: No you can't Fraze: You don't wanna wait any longer than I do Bea: I don't Bea: but you know I will Fraze: Yeah but don't Bea: Then be nice to me Fraze: Keep counting Fraze: You know I will Bea: How nice Fraze: How nice do you want? Bea: well, don't be boring, like Fraze: Wrong brother there, babe Bea: Don't start on that Bea: be telling me I'm fantasizing next 🙄 Fraze: I'm just saying, I couldn't be boring if both our lives depended on it Fraze: Well, maybe if yours did Fraze: For a sec, to save you, like Bea: Very noble Bea: must be love Fraze: Yeah Bea: Okay Bea: that's 95 Fraze: Come on then

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