#2 shows??! like concert???? who are you going to see?! fuck I’m so jealous! I don’t even remember the last concert I’ve been to ☹️

[hshouse]

Why would anyone complain about you going to concerts and posting stuff about it??? # 1 it’s your blog # 2 you have the opportunity to see your favs because of where you live, who wouldn’t take advantage of that?? And # 3 you’re literally giving us free first-hand content like I’m so fucking grateful that you share your experiences with us, it feels like we’re there with you and I absolutely love that you do that for us, thank you so so much!!! 😭💓

Hi bby,

Exactly???? I’m glad u all enjoy cause I do!!! I go to these shows usually alone (today I had the lovely @kindathoughtprovoking with me) so like posting and talking to you all is like sharing a concert w a friend. People just can’t process their emotions like adults. You CAN look at someone and say “I am jealous of this opportunity. I am finding reasons to dislike her because thats a way to express my bad feelings of jealousy in a way that is socially ok. I cannot take out on a random person living their life my own feelings.”

[x3rrorx]

Ok so since we tried to switch up the topics at least 3 different times here and it didn’t fucking work because it doesn’t work at this point, let’s be fucking real for a second:

1) NO ONE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE is jealous of anyone, these girls keep claiming that we don’t know them well guess what you dumb fucks y’all don’t know half of the people who you idiots talk about either, y’all don’t know who we might know or talk to, who we’re friends with so stop with the fucking ‘jealousy’ excuse no one is jealous. We are definitely not jealous about the way y’all look either because all of you are so basic looking that it fucking hurts my brain that y’all think people wanna look like y’all or want anything that any of you have/had

2) No one gives a shit that you go to multiple shows because lets admit it we all have at some point, what we give a shit about it’s how you keep playing victim when the evidence of you being a shitty person it’s all over the fucking internet, how you become friends with shitty people and then act like you don’t know what people are talking about

3)we don’t want to be fucking groupies, we are not ARE NOT FUCKING EASY, WE DONT WANNA SUCK DICK FOR FREE FOOD OR CONCERTS, shit is not a flex it’s gross this is why he probably hates you because you’re so fucking easy and I can see it now, ‘oh the free food and gigs’ admit that you’re mad at him because you fucked him and he didn’t give in like you’re fucking used to, he didn’t wanna worship the ground you walked on like some of those other ‘guys’ did.

Since I know someone is gonna tell her: he is gonna find someone and he’s gonna give that girl the world, he’s gonna love her and call her the love of his life and hopefully marry her, and you’re not gonna be nothing but a distant memory to him that he’ll tell her about so they can both laugh, he’s gonna write her songs and pay for all the food she fucking wants, he’s gonna buy her anything she wants and she’s won’t even have to ask. Oh also since we ‘won’t ever have have what she did’ some of us had dated/fucked musicians we just move on and don’t expose them or their business around like attention seekers.

Y’all ain’t holding back on this one 😂

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

It’s so funny cause I’m friends with a girl that’s got musicians in her inboxes all the time and have been with at least 1 that I’m aware of and she has never once acted like this AND she’s younger than me. Like brah… she doesn’t brag about it publicly. Shit didn’t work out with those dudes and she is grown enough to move on and live her life.

Truly y’all look damn embarrassing 😬

#mg squad

[no-reply95]

So I listened to the Something About the Beatles (SATB) latest podcast today, titled “Dear Friend” with the topic of conversation John and Paul’s relationship in the 1970s. So I was thinking that this would be great because I feel like the primary things talked about when the John/Paul 1970s dynamic is discussed is Lennon Remembers, How Do You Sleep and the PlayBoy interview, maybe they’ll throw in the Lost Weekend for balance if they’re feeling so inclined... I’m obviously exaggerating here but... Firstly, before I start my rant, SATB is a good podcast, they usually have great guests (Erin Torkelson Weber the MVP of course), cover interesting topics and Robert Rodriguez is a good host who’s good at challenging things in the story that don’t ring true.

However, I feel like throughout the Beatles active years and into the post break-up years there’s a narrative that has been established that so many people are wedded to, to the point that it’s part of the orthodoxy of the band. In my opinion the narrative is that from first meeting up until the moment that John died Paul was always doing everything to be John’s BFF, he was always trying to be closest to John, no matter what John said or did, Paul would always be the one to try and mend fences and throughout the 70s he was doing whatever he could to end up back working with John. I don’t think this narrative is completely wrong but I think it’s uneven mainly because, in all this, Paul’s importance to John is completely glossed over and John’s manoeuvring to ensure that he was the most important person in Paul’s life is completely missed. So, I just want to highlight some of the instances off the top of my head where I feel that John showed how much he needed to be prioritised in Paul’s life and how much he wanted to mend fences post break-up, that I feel don’t get talked about often enough:

1) John’s competition with Jim McCartney: There’s a lot of stock put into the John-Paul-Stu triangle but that obscures a weird triangle that, maybe Paul wasn’t even aware of, but I think definitely existed which is John-Paul-Jim. By all accounts Jim didn’t want John around and was against John and Paul’s friendship. Jim had a lot of influence over Paul and had a lot of sway as his sole parent once Mary died and I think John was resentful of that. We all know about the ultimatum John gave Paul when he took the job (that Jim implored him to get) which jeopardised his commitment to the band. In John’s eyes and own words, Paul choosing to quit his job to commit fully to the band was Paul choosing John over his dad. No one (in books I’ve only seen Joshua Wolf Shenk discuss this) discusses how Jim was effectively John’s Stu, someone that obstructed his closeness and ability to influence Paul to the point that over a decade later, post break up, John saw Paul focusing on the band as a victory over his dad. John had a jealously of Paul’s closeness and prioritisation of his family that would rear its head further down the road but, by and large, I rarely see this discussed.

2) John’s jealousy of Paul’s other close friendships: On this front, we hear ad nauseam, about Paul’s jealousy of Stu, which is fine because, even without Paul acknowledging it, it’s obvious from space that Paul was jealous of Stu’s closeness to John but we never hear about John’s jealousy of Paul’s other close friendships. All the Beatles were close to Mal Evans but I think Paul was especially close to him (he was the first Beatle to befriend Mal, Mal lived with him at Cavendish for some time, Mal helped Paul write some songs etc.) which got to John. In John’s own words when discussing Magical Mystery Tour he was “choked” when he found out that Paul had come up with the idea with Mal and Mal’s widow has said that Yoko told her that John had told her (whew Chinese whispers time) that he was jealous of Mal’s friendship with Paul... Then there’s Tara Browne, it’s interesting that despite Tara apparently being really friendly and outgoing John never took to him. Maybe it was because Tara was upper class. Maybe it was because after pestering him for months, Paul chose to do LSD with Tara instead of with John and the rest of the band. Maybe it was because Paul invited Tara up to Liverpool, right after Christmas, to hang out with his family resulting in the infamous moped crash. If I put my tin foil hat on, in “A Day in the Life” when John’s reaction to the death of a man in a car crash is “to laugh” is that meaningful? The song is thought to reference Tara but does that passage give us a glimpse into how John saw Tara? If he’s laughing about Tara dying then it sounds like he really didn’t like him, possibly due to his close friendship with Paul.

3) John’s resentment of Paul’s romantic partners: So this one is interesting... There are quite a few examples to walk through so here goes. We have the incident in Hamburg where Paul is in bed with a woman and John (in the aftermath of Stu’s death and probably high on prellies) comes charging in attacking the girl, cutting up her clothes and basically scares her out of the room, maybe that was just the prellies but there seems to be too much of a pattern to ignore. Then there’s Jane of course, we don’t know a ton about John’s interactions with Jane over the years but it’s interesting that he makes a terrible first impression with her (asking her to describe how girls masturbate) and it seems that their relationship is cordial at best going forward (note how Jane and Paul never go on holiday alone with John and Cynthia in the same way George and Ringo did with their respective partners). Peggy Lipton also tells the story about how when she came to hang out with Paul in 1965, John was really rude to her out of nowhere and asked “what she was doing there” and she seemed to think that John couldn’t understand why Paul wanted to take her to dinner if all he was going to do was fuck her. Then, there’s Linda... John consistently gives interviews in the early 70s when he talks about how in a few years Paul will wake up and leave Linda, according to Ray Connolly John couldn’t believe that Paul was staying faithful to Linda and then there’s other weird occurrences in that late 60s/early 70s period. There’s the fan who claims seeing John about to hit a pregnant Linda before Paul stepped in, there’s John rushing to get married as soon as Paul does (8 days later I think which is WILD to me), there’s John describing Paul’s wedding as a “funeral” in ‘71... What does all this tell us? That John was too busy replacing Paul with Yoko to care about Paul anymore? In my book, it’s John’s fears being realised that Paul would always prioritise his family over him when push came to shove, in John’s mind he had won when he was competing with Jim for Paul but once Linda came into the picture and gave Paul the family he always wanted, I think in John’s mind, it was game over. Maybe if Paul had divorced Linda in the 70s (like John predicted) they would have worked together more, we’ll never know, but in a similar way to Yoko, Linda was a wedge in John’s relationship to Paul.

4) John’s attempts post break-up to reach out to Paul: We hear a lot about Paul reaching out to John in the 70s and not engaging with the feuding anymore, it’s Paul that decides not to respond in kind to HDYS, it’s Paul that invites John to the Venus and Mars sessions, it’s Paul going to the Dakota to see/try to see John, it’s always Paul seemingly who misses John and wants to reestablish their relationship. However, according to May Pang, John was happy to do Bangladesh if Paul was doing it too. According to Ray Connolly, John gave him a letter to give to Paul, in the hopes that Paul would call him. According to Paul and other people involved in the One to One concert, John asked Paul to appear with him during his performance in ‘72. And in the face of the backlash from HDYS, John’s the one going around calling Paul his best friend ,other than Yoko, and sending him Beatles bootlegs for Christmas.

All this is to say that John and Paul did not have this one sided relationship where only Paul cared and wanted them to repair things or where only Paul was looking to manoeuvre a situation so he was closest to John, John also wanted to be the closest person in Paul’s life, he was jealously protective of their partnership (see his angry reaction to Paul not coming to him and only him to help with Eleanor Rigby) he also seemed to fear losing Paul to his family which may have happened in his mind, who knows. Because John’s most famous post Beatles interviews have him bashing Paul and Paul’s had 40 years to talk about how much he loved John, there’s this view that Paul loved John more than John loved Paul or that John loved Paul until Yoko came in the picture, at which point Paul was no longer relevant. If Paul meant nothing to John anymore, why did he even bother writing HDYS, if he was so tuned out he wouldn’t have been bothered by Ram, none of the critics were so why was John all over that album more than a Paul is Dead truther?! Why did Yoko block Paul’s calls to John, they were happy to hang out with Ringo, what was so threatening about Paul? Why, according to Robert Rosen, were John’s diaries full of his obsessions about Paul?? We’ll never know a lot of the answers to these questions but I would love it if more podcasts even acknowledged that these questions exist and acknowledged that Paul was such a huge part of John’s life till his dying day: “we have our ups and downs but I would do anything for Paul and I think he would do anything for me” John Lennon December 8 1980.

Apologies for the rant it seems listening to Beatles podcasts always seems to set me off! But SATB is a good podcast, just feel that there are so many interesting conversations that get missed in favour of the usual narrative time and time again, so close but no cigar!

Thanks to @onesweetdreampodcast and @anotherkindofmindpod for being the only podcast I’ve heard to date brave enough to discuss these questions, I think doing that will give us a much better understanding of the Beatles and how their story unfolded.

By the way most of what I referenced above can be found in @amoralto incredible blog, have fun!

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #something about the beatles #dear friend #jealous guy #complex relationships #thoughts #my rants

[ddalgi-yong]

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 

𝐰𝐜; 𝟐,𝟑𝟒𝟕 

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

𝐚/𝐧; 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 !!!

You missed him so much. It had been so long since you last have seen him. But he couldn’t do anything because of his schedule. Chan’s group just had a comeback and they were busy travelling around. Even if you knew about this you still got him a Christmas present. You also got presents for his members. Your boyfriend’s present was something really special. You hadn’t got him something, that would cost money or something.

The few weeks all boys were in Seoul at the company you spent a lot of time with Changbin and Jisung. However, it was worth it. Both boys were impressed by you singing so smoothly and calm, they never thought you could sing like that.

So, that was your present for Bang Chan. It was a song you really liked and it fit with the Christmas time.

Sadly, you just had found out that your boyfriend won’t make it to Christmas Eve.

“I’m sorry, baby, I really wanted to be with you this year…” – “It’s fine, Chan. Just make sure you’re okay, yeah? Take care of yourself and don’t overwork yourself. That’d be the best Christmas present for me. All right?”, you fake yawned and smiled. You two were face timing and he smiled.

“It’s probably really late there, huh? Go to sleep, baby. We’ll talk tomorrow”, Chan said. After you both said your goodbyes and hung up you were just laying on your bed, thinking about how he could get your present.

Then you got an idea and smiled. You called Jisung via FaceTime.

“What’s up, angel?”, he said. That was a thing between you two. He could call you pet names but you just found it lovely. At the beginning of your relationship with Chan he didn’t really like the fact that you were so close to one of his group members. However, this jealousy faded away after a while and Chan started being more accepting. He wasn’t as jealous as he was in the beginning of your relationship and that was something you were so grateful for.

“I need your help, Jisungie”, you said. “But I need you to be a bit more silent since Channie thinks I’m sleeping.”

“Alright, we’ll start again in 3, 2, 1…”, Jisung ordered, earning a smack on his head from Changbin.

“Don’t order her around. She knows how to do it now”, the eldest of you three said. You all laughed and you cleared your throat before you started singing your verses. You had taken extra English classes to perfect your pronunciation. You have done anything to be able to do all of this.

“I’m still so impressed how beautiful she sings”, Changbin whispered and Jisung grinned a bit. After you had finished recording the song, you sat with the boys in the studio since they wanted you to decide how the song’s going to be. However, since you knew how talented the two boys were with producing a song, you trusted them to do the best thing out of all the recordings.

“I’m tired. I think I’ll go home and sleep a bit”, you excused yourself and smiled. “Thanks for everything you did for me.”

You hugged both. “No need to thank us. We’re happy that we could help you with this. And I’m pretty sure he will love the song!”, Jisung said, smiling brightly.

“You want me to give him the song? Why? Even if it’s after Christmas, you should be the one who shows him the song”, Jisung said.

“I want him to listen to it on Christmas. It’s a present. He should get it on time.” It was kind of sad that you won’t be able to see his reaction the moment he listens to it. Jisung sighed.

“Okay… I’ll show it to him then”, he said, not wanting to discuss it any longer since he was really tired, too, because of all the touring.

“Or…? You can just come to Australia? What about that? We have our last concert in Australia right on Christmas Eve. Then we can spend like two days in Sydney before we head back to Seoul. And he’d love to see you again”, Jisung suggested. It wasn’t a bad idea at all, actually, but you had no idea if your boss would give you free days.

“I can ask my boss. But I don’t think he’d allow me to”, you said.

“Just try. And it’s really important, because I think Chan is close to have his down-phase again. He really misses you and I feel like he needs you to be himself again”, Jisung explained. You widened your eyes and looked at him.

“What do you mean?”

“He messes up during rehearsals. He’s pissed without any special reason. Sometimes I feel like Chan hyung is going to cry. It’s really worse than it was at any other tour. Just… try coming here, yeah? You’re the only person who can fix him.”

You knew Chan got demotivated when it came to leaving you. But you didn’t know it had gotten even worse since the last time you two separated. And again, you wonder how you couldn’t realize how bad he was actually feeling but still smiling his sweet, bright smile to his phone camera. He was doing all that just to let you think he’s happy, when he’s not even close to be as cheerful as he actually was.

You were so close to cry, but held back; did not want to cry in front of the younger boy, “I’ll get my tickets now. Thanks for telling me, Jisungie. Sleep well, and look after him. Take care of him when he doesn’t take care of himself, yeah?”, you said and smiled softly. After you hung up, you got up and searched through your wardrobe for his hoodie. You had kept it when he last visited you before going to the airport.

That was almost three months ago.

At that specific night he had shown you his love to you. No one knew about it, only you two. Even JYP or his members didn’t know about it. But Bang Chan wasn’t just your boyfriend anymore. On his birthday, October 3rd he had proposed to you. He had asked you if you would spend your life with him. If you’ll be by his side until the two of you passes away.

You smiled brightly, taking out the ring, which you kept in your wardrobe since you couldn’t wear it outside. Everyone knew you by now; Chan had told everyone about your relationship a few months after you two got together. The group had received a lot of hate because of it, but the shit-storm ended. And a ring on your finger wouldn’t make it any better.

“Daesung-ssi, I really need to visit my family on Christmas. Something important happened and my parents said, I need to be there”, you had to lie to your boss. He sighed, then nodded.

“Alright… family is something I can’t say no to. One week. That’s all”, he said. You were so happy and just hugged him. You have been working in this company for a few years and your boss liked to be close to his co-workers. He wanted them to feel relaxed around him and you really loved the atmosphere there.

“Thank you so much, Daesung-ssi!”

“It’s alright. Have a nice time with your family." He said and smiled, before you left his office.

Finally, you could book your flight tickets and see your fiancé.

Your fiancé, who didn’t dare to tell you how much he actually suffered. That was something you two had to talk about. He couldn’t keep on hiding this kind of things from you, if you would get married one day. If… you didn’t know if it would happen and when it would happen. You never had any idea of how he really felt. He never told you. Chan just smiled and said he’s okay. He’s fine.

But inside, he needs someone to take care of him, make sure he’s really okay, though no one besides his group mates sees it. Because they’re the only ones who are spending enough time with him. You don’t even get to see him that much like the other boys do. You don’t even get to hug him or kiss him just to tell him without even using any words that you’re always there for him. That you’re going to stay with him as long as you both live.

“Did you get your flight tickets?”, Jisung asked excitedly. You nodded and smiled brightly. “I’ll be there on the 26th. A bit late but at least I’m going to be there. I hope you can handle him these last four days”, you answered, you were a bit concerned.

“We got this.. It’s all okay at the moment. Do you still want me to show him the song on Christmas day or do you want to show it yourself?”

“No, it’s okay. You show it to him. Just film it, all right? I want to see how he reacted to it”, you smiled.

“All right”, Jisung sighed, not happy with your answer.

“See you in four days!”, he then said with a bright smile and hung up.

Well… it took you more than four days to arrive in Australia. Your flight got cancelled and you were stuck at the airport. Because of the cancelled flight you couldn’t catch your connecting flights. So, you arrived two days later than expected. On the 28th.

You were exhausted and Jisung tried to convince his manager and Chan to stay until New Year. Luckily, he succeeded. You arrived at your hotel room and lay down to relax. Since you had texted Jisung and Changbin that you had arrived, you thought it was them who were basically hammering against your door.

“What?!”, you yelled, pissed because you didn’t want anything but sleep. You widened your eyes as you saw your fiancé standing in front of you.

“Care to tell me, when you arrived?”, he said, voice cold and he sounded like he was mad as fuck.

“J-just now”, you stammered, walked a bit back before you felt the wall against your back. He closed the door, saying nothing.

You thought he was going to yell at you, telling you how mad he was for not telling him. However, he started sobbing and hugged you tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to come here? Why didn’t you call me the last few days? Do you know how much I needed you?!”, he sobbed.

You were so close to cry, too, but held back. “Channie… please don’t cry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I wanted to surprise you. I actually planned on being here two days ago but my flight got cancelled and – “, you couldn’t continue talking because he pressed his lips on yours and kissed you. Passionately. You put your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. You just needed this right now.

“I… I’m sorry for ignoring you all this time”, you whispered. “I missed you so much, Channie.”

“I missed you, too. Now shut up and kiss me”, he giggled and kissed you once again.

“Y/N?”, he kissed you softly on your cheek as you woke up. “You awake, baby?”, he asked and you nodded as you turned around to him.

“Good morning”, you said smiling.

“God, I really missed you." He breathed out and pressed his face against your neck.

“We still need to talk, Channie”, you said. “Why didn’t you say how much you weren’t okay? Why did you smile when you were in pain? When you said you’re okay… were you really okay?”, you asked.

He sighed and shook his head. “It’s always like this. I’m depending on you too much. You play an even bigger role in my life than you ever would’ve thought. I realize that each time I’m on tour. Each tour breaks me even more.”

Chan was feeling a bit better after telling you all this. “It’s okay, Channie… let it out. You’ll feel better after all this. And after we return home I’ll take care of you. I won’t be leaving your side, yeah? I promise you”, you said.

“I love you, Y/N”, he said. “I don’t know what I would do, if I’d ever lose you.”

“I love you, too. And don’t you ever think that you’ll lose me. You’re stuck with me forever”, you giggled as he started tickling you. So, finally, the sparkles in his eyes were back.

You went on dates, were recognized by a lot of people since Stray Kids had gotten even more popular during the last few months. It was cute to see his fans recognize you when you were waiting for Chan to return from the bathroom or somewhere else on the middle of the street.

During New Year’s Eve you two sat on a bench close to the Harbour Bridge. You had a blanket over your shoulders and smiled the whole time. This short time you had spent together helped him a lot to feel better and a lot calmer.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you could sing so well?”, he suddenly asked you, breaking the peaceful silence between you two. You giggled a bit and looked up at him.

“I wanted to surprise you with my voice. Also, I always felt insecure about my voice, so I never told you”, you answered.

“Well, but I can promise you, that your voice is wonderful”, Chan added and kissed you softly on your cheek. Right in that one second there was a flash and you looked up, being startled.

“Alright, let’s post it!”, Jeongin yelled.

“Don’t you dare…!”, Chan threatened but didn’t move a muscle. He just smiled as the fireworks exploded in the air and watched the beautiful colours disappear and get replaced by other beautiful fireworks.

That was the most important part.

Bang Chan finally smiled, because he was truly happy.

You totally loved it.

im sorry i ain’t been around but you've been on my mind a million times i'll make it up to you now we'll wrap the presents and put up the tree together be together baby, there's no better gift and now that i have you here that's when i feel it the most

'cause i've been gone so long but I kept holding on 'cause i need to show you just how much i love you this christmas is it the lights in your eyes? they've never shone so bright i've waited all year to be near to the one i've been missing, this christmas

listen to one ive been missing by little mix here ! 

spotify ; youtube

#ultkpop #kafenetwork #kconnet #kdiarynet #bang chan #stray kids #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids bang chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #skz #skz bang chan

[abarbaricyalp]

Hi! If you're still taking propmpts. SamBucky, sequel to Push All My Buttons. Established Relationship: Sam comes back home to Bucky after Riley gets shot down during a mission and is a complete mess. Bucky comforts him to his best ability.

Friend. Friend. Friend. Why.

This is a sequel to Push All My Buttons. You don't necessarily need to read it to read this. This one is certainly not the same kind of fic.

CW: Severe suicidal ideation, discussions of grief, loss, and trauma, discussions of suicide

Link in the reblog

Excelsior

Bucky had nine months with Sam and Riley before they shipped out with the wings. He and Sam had been sleeping together for that entire time minus three days and they’d been dating for about two weeks less than that. As Riley had always said, ‘When you know, you know. Even if all you know is that they’re an irritating little shit.’ Which is what he thought both Sam and Bucky were, especially together.

It had been a really good nine months.

They shipped out late afternoon on a Saturday and that was a very bad month.

Bucky wasn’t military and Rhodes had left with the project and taken on his duties again elsewhere. Stark, in his own haze of being left alone, did not fill Bucky in on any developments with the wings, if he was even asking Rhodes.

The only thing Bucky got was the occasional phone call or text, in which Sam could barely talk about anything to do with the wings. Well, those and the program Bucky had on his computer. It was just the monitoring datastream for the jetpacks, essentially a condensed readout of what showed up on the wristlets. BPI and vitals of the wearers, elevation, fuel reserves, GPS, temperatures, difficult to decipher radar readings.

Bucky kept up with the readings religiously. He slept in his office space more often than not and scrolled through the information every morning when he did leave. So he was there at 6PM when the reading came screeching in. It was nearly a year to the day that they’d shipped out. It was a Friday. Bucky was actually packing up to go home and shower for once.

The program lost its mind the same way the wristlets would be. EXO-7 Suit 2 had lost all BPI and dropped elevation until… It hit the ground and went off line.

Bucky was pretty sure he passed out because he opened his eyes and he was on the ground, staring up at the fluorescents. There was almost no way to know for sure which pilot was in which suit. Suit 2, the Redwing suit, was usually Riley’s, but there was nothing to say that Sam hadn’t grabbed it that night. It would be about 2.30 in the morning over there. Mission like that could’ve been last minute. Could’ve taken them right out of bed. They could’ve grabbed whatever was closest. And Sam and Riley shared everything down to toothbrushes.

Bucky could comb through the data from the minutes previous. Try to rationalize out the BPI readings and find patterns, but the point of it being Sam and Riley was that they were similar pilots. Their build, their resting heart rate, the way they jumped into action. It was like watching twins move. Their readings weren’t different enough to prove anything, even if Bucky could make his arms and hands work enough to scroll back.

The other suit was still online. It dove halfway down before stopping as the radar lit up with projectiles. Again and again, like a bird dashing into traffic for another’s dead body, Falcon tried to get down to Redwing against enemy fire.

Bucky snatched his computer from its dock and raced to the elevator. His hands were shaking so badly he hit a few numbers below. The elevator went up to 88 and Bucky jabbed the door close button over and over. 89. 90. 91.

Bucky burst out on floor 92, tried not to think about the fact that just looking at elevator buttons had made him start crying, and ran towards Stark’s workstation.

“Call Rhodes!” he shouted and didn’t give a shit about the tears in his voice. “Call Colonel Rhodes right now.”

Stark sprawled upright, having apparently been asleep, and reached for his phone before narrowing his bleary eyes at Bucky.

“Barnes? What’s going on?” he asked.

Bucky set the computer down on a mess of other electronics. “One of...one of… Fuck!” A sob ripped its way out of his throat and he angrily swiped the heel of his hand across his eyes. “One of the suits went down. Someone...someone…”

“Shit,” Stark said and grabbed the phone again. He scrolled through the data reports and flinched which made Bucky snatch the computer back to look at what he was seeing. It was the radar report for Redwing. A large, explosive projectile had been launched into radar zone just before the suit fell. Bucky dropped the laptop and it landed lid first in a box of papers but didn’t shut so he still saw the WARNING WARNING WARN--

“Rhodey,” Stark said. “Rhodey, what’s going on on that end? No, I said I’d stay out of it if-- I don’t care. I’ve got-- Rhodey don’t you--” He fell silent but Bucky could hear Rhodes speaking on the other end. Stark kept shooting glances at Bucky and flinching like he didn’t have control of his body. “Alright. Thank you. That wasn’t so hard. Yeah. Yeah. No, I won’t tell anyone. No, not even Barnes,” he said. “Yes, especially not Barnes.”

He hung up and then looked at Bucky. “I’m not telling you this. It wasn’t Sam.”

Bucky fell back to the ground, catching himself on his knees this time. His arms were too heavy to pick up and the tears were falling even faster now that he knew Sam was okay. Because if Sam was okay that meant that Riley… That meant that Riley… That meant that Riley was wearing the Redwing suit.

Bucky curled into himself on the floor and screamed until his throat went sore. Stark, bless him, did not try to comfort him. He fell forward enough to press his forehead to the tile and shouted again, banged his fists on the floor and then buried them in his hair instead.

He did not go home.

Stark gave Bucky a cot to keep in his office. Bucky learned to live on it while he stared at the computer screen. That night, Sam had given up on getting to the ground and had to retreat. The suit was taken off and it had been quiet since. That did not stop Bucky from staring at it. One night, it pinged a reading--something like 3 PM their time--and Bucky watched the jetpack get taken up into the air. Higher and higher and higher and higher. Higher than he’d ever meant for them to go. High enough that he started to worry for whoever was wearing it. They were running out of oxygen. It better not have been Sam.

Then the wings retracted and the suit plummeted. Bucky nearly knocked his computer over jumping up. There was nothing in the vital readings to suggest the pilot had lost consciousness or suffered any medical episode. They were just falling. And it wasn’t a mechanical malfunction. The wings had been pulled in.

The pilot was letting themselves fall.

It better not be Sam.

Bucky was really going to watch another one die. He was going to see Sam k*** himself.

The pilot opened their wings ten feet before impact and soared back up, looping around one and then landing heavily on the ground.

The wings came back off.

Sam did it four more times, once each night, before the wings came off and stayed off.

That’s when the GPS started to move.

Two days later, Bucky was at an airport.

It had been slightly more than a week since Riley died. Riley died. Riley died. The words were wrong in Bucky’s head. His tongue rejected them without even trying to say it.

Here’s what Bucky knew about Riley. He knew Sam and Riley had known each other since their first tour. He knew that they took their education leave at the same time, went to the same school, and lived together for the three years it took them to get a degree. He knew Riley knew Sam better than Bucky did. He knew Sam had a sister who loved Riley like another brother. He knew Riley loved Sam like his own brother and Sam loved him back.

He knew that in the nine months he and Sam had been dating, he’d really only give himself six, maybe seven of those because Riley got the rest of the time and half time for the months Bucky did claim. He knew Sam called Riley before he called Bucky when he was upset. He knew Riley was such a good fucking guy and so important to Sam that that didn’t even make Bucky jealous.

He knew that Riley didn’t like coffee unless it had been turned into a sweet drink and had whipped cream on it. He knew Riley was from the middle of nowhere and sometimes talked like an obnoxious parody of a cowboy when he was tired or drunk and definitely when he was both. He knew he was a baker. He knew he liked poetry. He kept books in his army bag.

But even if he didn’t know that and nine months worth of other things, the only thing he needed to know was that Sam loved Riley more than he loved breath in his lungs or wings on his back. He loved Riley to the point of giving up concert tickets because Riley got sick and couldn’t go. He loved Riley enough to listen to bad country music in the car. He loved Riley more than he loved sex, if the number of nights he cut out on dates or netflix and chill to pull Riley out of a bad decision was anything to go by.

Sam loved Riley, Riley loved Sam, and Bucky loved Sam so Bucky loved Riley.

And Riley was dead.

Bucky had paced a hole in the floor waiting on Sam. His flight had been delayed three times already and they were two hours past the first arrival time. Energy and despair and hurt thrummed through his body and Bucky couldn’t dispel it no matter how hard he tried. He’d tried to use the gym at the tower. He’d tried to run it off. He’d tried to eat. Tried to not eat. Tried to sleep. Tried to not sleep.

Okay, that one he didn’t need to try to do. He just didn’t sleep.

It remained, locked around his heart and his head.

Sam was coming back on his own. They apparently hadn’t been stationed with a real unit, so there was no one else to send home. Even if they had been with a real unit, Sam was the only one who needed bereavement. So there was no sea of camo or cropped hair to alert Bucky that Sam was coming.

One second he was alone in his grief, the next second Sam was stepping off the elevator. They met halfway across the floor. Bucky was surprised there wasn’t a noise as they crashed together, arms coming around bodies, faces pressed to shoulders, tears escaping again. Sam wasn't in his fatigues or civvies. There was nothing distinctly airforce about him, so they were just two men losing it in each other’s arms and no one knew the depth of it.

Bucky thought about apologizing but there was nothing to apologize for. There were no words to do so anyway. So he just held onto Sam, one hand coming to the back of his head to hold him close. Sam sobbed once, twice, and then collected himself.

Bucky had no idea how long they stood like that. He could’ve stayed for days longer. The hole in his heart was still very much so there. But the luggage turnstile next to them had turned on and off four times and Bucky really wanted to get home and cry in private.

“Baby, let’s go,” he murmured softly, kissing Sam’s chin and then his cheek. “Let’s get you home.”

“I-I-I need to get to our storage unit. I need to-to sort his things,” Sam hiccuped without lifting his head.

“Later. Not right now. You’re coming home with me, alright?”

Sam nodded and wiped his eyes on Bucky’s shoulder. He lifted his head and actually looked at Bucky for the first time all afternoon.

“Hey,” Bucky breathed, brushing his thumb over Sam’s cheek to catch other tears.

Sam held his wrist and kissed his palm. “Hey.” He leaned down to kiss Bucky, tentative at first and then Bucky remembered that he’d thought it was Sam who’d gone down in Redwing for three minutes. He’d watched Sam free fall hundreds of meters to the sand below over and over. He’d almost lost him so many times. And Bucky crashed into him all over again and Sam pushed back. New tears fell, mingling together against their noses and lips and pressed cheeks.

“I can’t lose you,” Sam breathed into Bucky’s mouth. “Not you too.”

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” Bucky said.

Sam’s mouth slid off of his, anguish on his face again. His forehead leaned against Bucky’s temple. “He’s gone, Buck. I couldn’t even look for…”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and saw Falcon dashing through enemy fire. “I know, Sam. I know. You tried.”

“Not hard enough. I saw it on the radar before he did. I was going to call out but I…I didn’t, Buck. I didn’t say anything.”

Bucky had nothing to say to that so he wrapped Sam in his arms again. “Let’s go home, Sam. There’s nothing else we can do here. Just breathe for me. Come on.”

Bucky grabbed Sam’s bag and lead him out of the terminal.

Sam slept on the floor, which was fine by Bucky. Something about how beds were too soft. After a week on a cot, Bucky might’ve thought the same thing. So he shoved his coffee table out of the way and threw all the pillows he owned on the floor and laid down several blankets and they slept on the floor.

Sam barely spoke the next day.

He went through the motions of washing dishes after Bucky made breakfast. It was just cereal, so there was little to clean up. He turned on the TV and let it play a documentary about the oceans. It played all day. Over and over. Bucky was pretty certain he could ask Sam anything about it and Sam wouldn’t be able to answer. He ate barely half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. He read a book of poetry on the floor all afternoon. He ate dinner and Bucky washed the plates.

The second day was much the same, but then Sam was agitated. He flipped through shows and got mad when he couldn’t figure out what to watch. He slammed doors when he left rooms. He threw the pillows and blankets on the couch when he lost his phone, which he hadn’t been answering at all anyway. Bucky had left it plugged in on the arm of the couch. They skipped dinner that night and sat on the couch with the TV off and Sam laid in Bucky’s lap and cried again. They fell asleep like that.

The third day, Sam got up and made breakfast. It was cereal again. Bucky put on music. Sam washed the clothes in his bag. Handed Bucky a beautiful leather bracelet he’d picked up when they’d first landed overseas. Gave him another box and managed to say, “For the birthday he missed,” before he dashed to the bathroom and got sick. Bucky left the box on a bookshelf and went to Sam’s side, rubbing his back and massaging his neck. The gift was a jean and sheepswool jacket. They skipped dinner again.

The fourth day, they sat on the floor, staring at the bare couch. Bucky got tired of counting how many buttons had gone missing, so he said, “You have to talk about it.”

Sam choked but didn’t run for the bathroom. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sam, you can’t keep it bottled up. Listen, after I got back from…”

“You wanna talk about things we should talk about: how’d you lose your arm, Bucky?”

“This isn’t about me. And I was just about to tell you that when I got back from my mission, I had to do a shit ton of therapy. And I hated it. And it took me a really long time to start being honest, but once I did, it helped me recover more than getting a new arm did.”

“How’d you lose your arm?”

“I saw him go down. I saw all the readings.”

“That’s not the same thing. I watched my best friend…” Sam gagged again and brought his hands up to his mouth. Tears filled his eyes and Bucky was sure it was a combination of getting sick and being upset. “I watched him die. I don’t know why I even thought I could find a body. I could… Fucking pieces if I’d gotten to the ground. That would’ve been it.” Bucky flinched and Sam zeroed in on it. “That what you wanted to hear, Barnes? Is that what I needed to say to heal myself? My best friend is dead. Maybe his body could be cold before you ask me to fix myself.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. “That’s not what I was saying, Sam. Don’t attack me. I’m on your side.”

Sam stood suddenly, swayed on his feet, then found his balance. “I’m going to shower. Please just...give me time to myself right now.”

Bucky dropped his head to the couch.

The fifth day, they were both called into Stark Tower by Rhodes.

It was too early, Bucky thought, to ask Sam to do more debrief. It was too early to ask him to face the world. Bucky had laid on his sister’s couch for two weeks before he could so much as answer the door when he got back.

Sam was in a mood again. Actually, the mood hadn’t ever lessened from the afternoon before. It was back to the silent treatment and if Bucky did push him to say something, he’d be cruel and biting, over descriptive and intentionally mean. Nothing at all like Sam. Or maybe, just like him. This was, after all, Sam at his lowest. How was Bucky to know what that looked like? The only man who could’ve told him was dead.

Bucky had called ahead and had two of the strongest, plainest black coffees waiting in the lobby of Stark Tower for him and Sam. Anything that wouldn’t smell like Riley. They got into the elevator alone and Bucky passed Sam one of the coffees. The doors closed and before Sam could reach over and choose floor 92, Bucky selected 2 - 91.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sam asked. It could’ve been a snarl if the day hadn’t already been so long. If they hadn’t already argued about Bucky wearing the jacket Riley had given him. If Sam hadn’t knocked a glass off the coffee table and shattered it on accident then cut his fingers picking up shards. If Bucky hadn’t slept in his bed like a normal person.

“We have to talk,” Bucky said.

“I don’t...fucking want to talk,” Sam said, trying to double click the floors like something said would unhighlight them. It didn’t. The doors opened on the second floor.

The doors shut. “I saw what you did the days after Riley died.”

“Don’t fucking say that,” Sam snapped, like he hadn’t told Bucky this morning about the blood that had been on his suit when he landed.

“I saw you free fall. Over and over. I watched that, Sam.”

Sam’s jaw steeled and he stared at his reflection in the stainless steel siding. “I free fall all the time. It’s one of the things we learn how to do.”

“Not like that, Wilson. You went into the fucking atmosphere. There’s no telling what the wings would have done at the speeds you were clocking.”

Sam’s mouth remained a straight line.

“You could’ve died,” Bucky said to get it out there.

“Good,” Sam said, ripping off the bandaid.

The doors opened on the fifth floor. “Don’t,” they both said to the woman who tried to step in.

“I’m still here,” Bucky said.

“I know. And I’m sorry I did that. I’m sorry I felt that way. I’m sorry I still feel that way. I can’t make myself stop.”

Bucky swallowed hard and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Sam...I tried too, alright? You don’t… I haven’t told you the whole story about my discharge and I will one day. This isn’t the day for that. But my story isn’t clean. Not even close. And I tried it too. I thought that’d be a lot simpler than the bullshit I was about to go through. I thought it’d be a justice for the people involved in my story.”

Sam looked at Bucky sharply, eyes red, tears wet on his cheeks.

“It wouldn’t’ve been. So I need you to tell me what’s going on and how we can fix this.”

Slowly, the fight seeped out of Sam’s shoulders. Common ground at last. A shock to his system. A bitter, bitter win for Bucky for the time being. Sam sank down and stared at his coffee cup. “I’ve known Riley for over a decade. More than anyone else in my life who ain’t blood.”

Bucky sat beside him. The elevator stopped on three floors.

“I’ve known him for a third of my life. The first serious third. I think I grew up more with him than anyone I went to school with. I’ve never had to do this on my own. He was always right next to me. I haven’t made a decision without asking him since I decided to sign up.”

“So, poor track record of making your own decisions,” Bucky joked softly.

“I was going to let myself do it,” Sam whispered then. “I wasn’t going to pull the wings back out.” Bucky’s heart went cold and still in his chest before roaring back to life. “I’m sorry you could see the readings. I didn’t know that.”

“I’m not upset I saw it. I’m upset that you felt the need to do it.”

Sam looked over at him. “Sure, but let me ask, what stopped you from following through?”

Bucky stomach twisted painfully. It was his turn to get nauseous. “I didn’t want my sister to find me. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Sam nodded. “If I know you might be watching those readings, I won’t be able to do it again.”

Bucky nodded and brought the coffee to his lips. It scorched his mouth and throat and he didn’t taste it all but the point wasn’t the taste. The doors opened on the seventeenth floor.

“We’re going up,” Sam said in a quiet voice.

The doors closed.

“He was my friend too,” Bucky said, voice raw. “You can talk to me about him.”

“I know that. I’m just not in the sharing mood right now.”

The doors opened. Closed. Opened. Closed. Opened. Closed.

“I fell off a train,” Bucky said. “I told you my SpecOps mission was in the mountains. I was knocked out of a moving train going around the side of a mountain and I… I’m not really sure how it happened. I might’ve reached out for the cliff face. I might’ve just hit it on the way down. I didn’t have my arm when I woke up on the ground.”

“Well, shit, maybe a bear ate it while you were out.”

“Nah, the doctors said it was too smooth. It was ripped off all at once.”

Sam flinched and then closed his eyes.

“I actually had a little bit left. I dunno, half of my upper arm, maybe. It was removed later. So, I guess it wasn’t that smooth and pretty. You know what I remember most?”

Sam hummed without lifting his head.

“I remember the jacket I was wearing. We’d been undercover when we were called into action. I was wearing a beautiful jacket that I’d picked up somewhere when the mission was still an adventure and not a nightmare. And I remember laying in the snow, looking at all that blood and my missing arm and being upset that my jacket had been ruined.”

Sam snorted and then lost the battle against sobs again. He set the coffee aside and moved over to hug Bucky, crying into his shoulder. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam and kissed his hair. “We’re gonna get through this, Sam. You’ve just gotta trust me to hold you up. And you’ve gotta trust me to be on your side. I’m not gonna say shit to make you follow the rules or whatever. I’m gonna say shit that helped me, rules be damned.”

“I miss him so much. It’s only been five days. How am I supposed to go seventy more years without him? I’ve called his number a hundred times already and no one ever picks up.”

Bucky rubbed Sam’s back and nodded. “I know, baby. C’mere.” He pulled Sam more into his lap. Sam clutched at his shirt with trembling fingers “I’m gonna be right here. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I feel so fucking alone.”

“You’re not, Sam. I’m right here. I’m with you.”

Sam pressed his face further against Bucky’s neck and Bucky felt his tears, cool and heartbreaking. He didn’t have words. He just kept rubbing his hands over Sam’s back, kissing his temple and his hair and saying, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.” Hoping Sam would hear him through his grief and believe it.

He held him for forty more floors and they cried together. The elevator continued ever upwards. They pushed forward ever onwards.

“I’m right here,” Bucky said as the doors opened on floor 92. Sam nodded against his shoulder and slowly stood up.

Upwards and onwards.

#sambucky #sambucky fanfic #sambucky fanfiction #sam wilson #bucky barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon #winter soldier #captain america #writing #i answer things

[awsugar]

I need your free therapy Mack 😣 I’m 31 and have liked MCR since I was 15 and listening to three cheers from the pregnancy test iPod shuffle. I didn’t have many friends, just a toxic/intense girl best friend so I had no one to fan girl about mcr with. Around age 14/15, I asked my mom if we could drive a few states over to see them in concert and she told me it wasn’t safe and I was too young. Couple those 2 things with peer pressure, undiagnosed anxiety, & being an idiot…I never saw them live.

Black parade comes out the same year my childhood family friend dies of cancer. I message my high school crush on AIM, asking if he likes the album. He one words me and logs off. I hate Gerard’s blonde buzz. Long story short…never saw them live.

Danger days comes out. I am so exited for new mcr and wait up to watch the Na Na Na Na music video. It’s too happy for my college depression. I never listen to danger days…still never saw them live.

All the while through the ENTIRETY of my twenties, I never stop listening to only three cheers and the singles from black parade…up until the announcement of the return. I freak out. I fall into a mcr brain worms. I buy,download, and memorize MCR’s entire discography, I watch every interview, I watch every concert film, I buy LOTMS and force my friends to watch it, I buy merch, I look at every photo, I discover frerard, I discover frerard fan fic. Being obsessed with mcr is my new personality.

I’m not going to rehash covid cause obviously but I had/have tickets to two shows. I’m literally planning when I’m going to get pregnant around the fact that I WILL NOT miss these shows.

So…here’s my big crybaby ask- Why the fuck didn’t I see them when I was 15,16,17,etc. why didn’t I love black parade? Why didn’t I appreciate danger days? Why didn’t I follow them around to every show ever? Why wasn’t I reading frerard fan fic for the last 16 years? I literally don’t know how to get past the fact that I wasted my life and all these photos and videos of concerts I could’ve been a teenager at just cement how bad I fucked up.

TL;DR- I’m 31 and I wasted my teenage years during 2005-2009 by doing anything other than seeing mcr live 😫

you can't spend your time worrying about the past and thinking about the things you missed out on or why you didn't do this or do that. it'll get you nowhere and it'll just make you feel worse.

you're here now and you just gotta make the most of it. have the best time at your shows and really appreciate it and Experience it to the fullest. consume all the content you can/want to now that you can. that's all you can do. and of course you might be jealous of the people your age who got to see them a bunch before the breakup and had those experiences and that's normal but you just gotta acknowledge your jealousy and then move on with your day/life and enjoy what you'r able to have right now.

that's the best advice i can give, there's just no use in dwelling on the past and the things you would have done differently if you could. we all have stuff like that that we wish to god we could go back and change but we can't. just appreciate what you can get out of being a fan right now in 2021 and look forward to the shows you DO get to go to! they're going to be amazing!!

#anonymous #long post

[thegothicviking]

That creepy girl I am talking to....

Part II and I'm gonna block her now.

She really insists on having me over.

She lives almost at the other end of the country and I told her that;

I don't have a car right now(true)

I am staying at home to save money for a concert that might happen this autumn. (Also true)

When I told her I had plans with a friend to see a movie and have a sleepover (true but although its another girl we are just friends but I guess this girl I am chatting with got jealous?) She replied that I could get over at her place instead to have "fun".

Yes I have sort of flirted back with this girl but now she seems to be a little posessive over me... I thought that me typing that I have to save money and therefore I'm gonna chill at home would make her give up on me but NO.

She now insists that she can PAY for the trip...yup!

Which makes me wonder a whole lot of things;

1. What kind of out in the middle of nowhere place does this girl live where there are no other cis lesbians or cis bi girls available for "fun".

2. If there ARE any lesbian/bi girls around where she live what is then wrong with THIS girl since no one wants to have "fun" with her. Up to the point where she has to become so desperate that she is willing to PAY for girls travelling across the country just to meet her!?

3. What the hell does she even mean by "fun" then!?!? And do I really wanne know at this point??

4. How much money does she gets from the state (she mentioned she was unemployed which could mean that she could be anything from physical handicapped ..which could explain why she needs girls to come at HER place...or something about her mental health that isn't all ok.)

5. If she IS physical handicapped...and THAT is the reason for why she needs girls to come to her place...why didn't she then just TELL ME earlier? Instead of making this seems omnious and stalking ish..

6. And most importantly of all...IS THIS EVEN A REAL GIRL OR SOME SEX TRAFFICKING SHIT OR EVEN WORSE!?!?

YOU KNOW WHAT!? I am not even gonna ask at this point! :)

I have read some serious shit from the deep web/dark web (don't remember which one) as my bestie knows some people who can hack themselves into there. I have read shit you DON'T AND NEVER wanne know about!

And BELIEVE ME I WON'T tell you! I wish my bestie NEVER showed it to me and although I am not sure if it happens in Norway..THIS conversation with THIS girl or "girl" (People can steal 5 photos from someone of the FB and claim to be anyone) reminded me of that sick thing I am sure humans are capable of. The thing I will NEVER tell anyone else now because once you know...it will fuck you up for life!

I repeat; once you know what I know about..it will fuck you up and give you nightmares for months!

It is WORSE than ANY horror movie and this conversation I am having with whoever it is I am chatting with!?!?...it brougth it all back and I am so fucking disturbed and triggered right now.

Fuck this.

Fuck this!

Fuck this girl or "girl"..if she truly was physically handicapped and needs girl at her place I am sure she would have told me sooner.

I don't find this normal. AT ALL. Insisting on paying for girls travelling half across the country to meet you. Just for some "fun".

No thank you!

I have goosebumps and not the good kind.

I'm gonna block her.

I'm out!

Fuck this and now I was reminded of the sickest thing I wish I would never know about. And I need to watch comedy or read a non scary book to calm my nerves.

Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. And now I am scared that even if I do block this girl...its going to be like a corporation and they will hack me or something.

Fuck the internet right now.

Why me!? Why me!?!?

#i have a sick twisted mind of my own yes...and liebeslied series will be sick too..in a bad way.. #but that thing from the other side of the web?? you dont wanne know...i hate my bestie for showing me that text... #i hope the text is fake and doesnt describe something real going on.. #but of course considering what else sick things humans have been capable of in the past...its probably real #and there is nothing I can do about it to stop it from happening and its so twisted and sick I dont wanne live on this planet

[kpopmultifan127]

The Jealous CEO

Pairings: Kun (boss who is the CEO) x female reader (appearance from Jaehyun and Renjun)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Contains: Sex, jealousy, drinking

Word count: 5,492 *Sorry I didn’t proof read so if there’s a bunch of mistakes my bad haha*

General Plot: You were Kun’s assistant, he kept throwing mix signals to you like taking you to all his company parties and introducing you as his girlfriend, he takes you out to dinner and drinks with you. But in the office you’re just another employee, confusing your feelings. You end up forming strong feelings for him but always kept it to yourself as you didn’t want things to become awkward around the office. He then gets jealous when he sees you with one of the idols that is signed under his company. How will things turn out for you and Kun?

[7:00 AM] Your alarm went off to start your day. You got up to get ready for work. You put on your pencil skirt with your matching blazer and your white button down shirt. You felt cute but still looked sophisticated for work. You loved your job, you worked for a music company. Your coworker were super chill, you were all on the same page most of the time so there really was not too much drama there. Not to mention the pay was amazing! Also you had a boss anyone would dream of. He took care of his employees, always said family before work. He rarely ever got mad either. You had some time before you started work so you headed over to the coffee shop near the office.

___

[8:00 am]  8 AM on the dot in comes walking in your boss Kun. He was NEVER late always on time not a minute before or a min after. As he passed your desk you stood up with your folder in your hand with the agenda for the day. Following him into his office.

Kun: do i have any meetings today?

y/n: yes you do sir. At 9:30 you have a meeting with the Dreamies’ manager to discuss final details about their concert in a few months. Then at 12:30 you have a zoom meeting with the reps from the China office on new rookies that just got signed. But other than that I just need you to sign a few of these papers and that’s it for us.

you walked over to his side of the desk standing next to him. You leaned over the desk placing the papers he needed to sign allowing him to get a whiff of your perfume. As he was signing the papers he spoke up.

Kun: you smell really nice today. Is that a new perfume, that doesn’t smell like the ones you usually wear.

Your heart couldn’t help but flutter at the compliment. He took notice that you’ve changed your perfume. You can feel your cheeks become a warm rosy color.

y/n: oh--ye-yeah. I got it yesterday.

Kun: it matches you well

y/n: thank you.

Kun: well off to my meetings, I shall see you later.

And off he went to his meetings. Working there always made your days go by so fast. As it was already 5 PM the normal time you would finish. But you decided to stay a little bit longer to finish up the final details of the Dreamies’ concert layout. You wanted to make sure it was perfect before giving it back to the manager to show the boys. You knew the office was empty, you sat at your desk with the only light coming from your computer. You realized it was already 7 PM.

y/n: oh my god...it’s 7 I better go.

You started to pack up your things turning off your computer. You were startled at the sound of someone calling your name.

Kun: y/n?

y/n: oh my god! you scared me!

Kun: oh my god I’m so sorry...

y/n: I thought the office was empty....it was my fault I let my guard down. What are you doing here so late sir?

Kun: i should be asking you the same question.

y/n: oh I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for the Dreamies’ concert so I stayed back.

Kun: ah I see. so um..

it got quiet and awkward. You were about to break the silence when he started talking first.

Kun: so did you eat yet?

y/n: oh no...I’m probably just going to pick up something from the convenience store.

Kun: am I not paying you good enough for you to eat a decent meal?

you stood there waving your hands while shaking your head “no”

y/n: oh my god oh no! you pay me well enough....too much I think. but I don’t really have time to cook at home, when I get home from work I clean and by the time I’m done I’m too lazy too cook.

Kun: let me take you out to dinner...

y/n: oh no sir please..I can’t

Kun: please let me..I think I’d sleep better if I knew you ate an actual warm meal.

you were still hesitant to accept the offer, but you knew if you didn’t accept it hell keep buggin you. But before you can answer a loud growling noise came from your stomach. He looked at your stomach letting out a little giggle.

Kun: ok great well you defiantly can’t say no! let’s go.

y/n: where we going?

Kun: one of my favorite bbq places.

you both left the office walking over to his car. He opened the door for you as you sat in his passenger seat. As he drove off the car ride wasn’t awkward at all, it was filled with laughter. You never seen this side of him, it made your heart flutter again.

y/n: where is this bbq place?

Kun: it’s near my apartment building.

As you guys got to the bbq restaurant he parked the car and walked over to your side of the door letting you out. You both walked through the doors of the restaurant as it was already filled with many people. The waiter escorts you both to the table near the back.

Waiter: ah hello again Kun,  I see this time you aren’t alone..

Kun: oh--um yeah this is y/n.

As he sat down taking off his suit jacket to get more comfortable.

y/n: hello nice to meet you

Waiter: nice to meet you as well. Shall I bring your usual order but doubled?

Kun: yes please.

Waiter: ok I will be right back.

The waiter walks away leaving just the 2 of you at the table.

y/n: you come here often?

Kun: yeah...I always came here ever since I was a kid. My parents took me here all the time because I was always hungry.

you let out a little giggle at his words.

y/n: well you were just a kid, so you’re always hungry.

Your food came and he began cooking all the meat cutting it into little pieces and placing them on your plate.

Kun: eat a lot please

y/n: you should too.

As you both were eating you were conversing so much. You liked this side of him, it wasn’t about work or anything....just filled with laughs. He told you about some of his funny childhood memories as you did too. The waiter came to refill your waters and placing down a soju bottle.

Kun: oh I didn’t order this.

Waiter: boss said it’s on the house for his favorite customer.

Making eye contact with the manager and smiling as a thank you for the free drink.

Kun: would you like a drink?

y/n:...oh no...I’m really lightweight I don’t handle alcohol very well.

Kun: when was the last time you drank?

y/n: a few months ago when I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend...

Kun:...oh I’m sorry to hear.

y/n: it’s ok...things happen for a reason...I wouldn’t have found this job if that never happened, so I guess it’s a blessing in disguise. 

Kun: Well I don’t want to pressure you into drinking, but maybe you should just have one drink

You thought about it, you were with company you enjoyed, and it was only one drink. Plus you didn’t work on weekends so it was fine for you to just relax.

Y/n: I guess one drink wouldn’t hurt.

Kun: don’t worry I can drive you home.

You took the shot as your face scrunched up tasting how strong the alcohol was. He couldn’t help but smile.

y/n:...what?

Kun: nothing....that was cute.

You both kept talking about random things as you took another drink...then another then another...feeling a very strong buzz. Letting out slurred words.

y/n: I like working for you sir...

kun: we aren’t at work y/n you can just call me Kun.

you let out a giggle...

y/n: haha--ku...kun...I like that name.

kun: are you ok y/n?

You both finished eating and was completely full. You stood up then stumbling with each step. Kun caught you..

Kun: woah..are ok y/n? Let’s get you out of here.

He had his arms around your waist throwing your hand over his shoulders. He puts you in his passenger seat. You had a real good buzz going. When he got into the driver seat he asked where you lived. But you were too drunk to even let out an address.

Kun: um...well I guess I can just take you back to my place.

He drove off going to his apartment. There was one thing you forgot to mention to him that when you drank you always were horny. When he was driving you kept glancing at him shifting your legs together. He looked so good with his sleeves rolled up, hair pushed back and driving with one hand. He looked over to you with a smile and let out a little giggle.

Kun: you weren’t kidding y/n...you really are lightweight. You only had like 4 shots.

y/n: mmhhmm...I told you.

You kept shifting your legs back and forth as you started to feel a pool pour between your legs. He took notice at how you kept shifting yourself.

Kun:...are you ok y/n? are you uncomfortable?

y/n: just a little.

You both finally arrived to his apartment building. He came over to your door helping you out of the car. He pulled you in holding you with his arm around your waist, allowing you to get a whiff of his cologned you loved. You felt yourself melt more down to your core.

Kun: ok we are almost there. little steps.

Only a few minutes passed but felt like forever. You are finally inside Kun’s apartment. He walks you over to the couch.

Kun: here stay here and I’ll get you some water.

Your buzz was still pretty strong but you were a little more coherent but still horny as hell. With him around you looking the way he is wasn’t helping. He hands you the water for you to drink. You sat there quietly as he sat next to you.

y/n: thanks...

Kun: you’re welcome.

You kept shifting your legs again and he took notice...

Kun: are you sure you’re ok?

y/n: can I use your bathroom.

Kun: oh--yeah it’s the 2nd door on the left. Did you need help getting there?

y/n: oh no I’ll be fine.

You were walking to the bathroom as you can feel the wetness on ur core. You arrived to the bathroom.

y/n: oh my god y/n what the fuck are you thinking? he’s your boss....you can’t think like that about him.

a few mins have gone by and you heard a knock on the door.

Kun: y/n are you ok?

y/n: oh-ye-yeah I’ll be right out.

you splashed some water on your face and opened the door with him standing there..before you knew it you jumped at him putting your lips on his. kissing him then realizing who you were kiss you pulled back.

y/n: oh-oh my god I’m so sor--

Before you finished apologizing his lips met yours again. This time the kissing was more passionate as he picked you up holding you up with your legs. He carried you to his room throwing you on his bed. He hovered over you kissing your neck, then your jaw and you felt his hang work his way up your skirt...In your mind you couldn’t believe this was happening. His touch felt so good, he took care of you. Took his time with you. You heard him whisper in your ear

Kun: if i knew you wanted me this bad I would’ve skipped dinner and went straight for dessert..

you let out a little moan as you felt his fingers rub your clit.

Kun: damn babe you’re so wet and I barely touched you...

y/n: i want you in me now..

Kun: mmm...and you’re so needy.

He pulls back pulling down your panties and he starts to undress himself..you felt yourself become more and more wet seeing him in front of you.

kun: like what you see hun?

you sat there biting your bottom lip staring at him.

Kun: with that look I take it as a yes.

He gets in between your legs again as he teases your clit by rubbing the tip of his cock on it. You moan at his touch..

y/n:...please Kun fuck me now.

He inserts his member into you as you both let out a loud moan of pleasure. It felt so good as he thrusted in and out.

Kun: damn y/n you’re so tight.

His thrusting got rougher and faster, feeling you clench around his cock made him quiver as he could feel his high approaching soon.

Kun: damn babe keep doing that and I’m gonna cum pretty soon...where do you want it?

y/n: i want you to cum inside me..

Kun: mmmhhmm oh yeah? are you gonna make a mess with our cum?

y/n: yes...I’m gonna cum soon...OH MY GOD---

before you knew it you reached your high the same time as his, as you felt his spurts hit your walls. Your back is arched and everything felt so good as you both finished your high. He rests himself on you as he gets soft with himself still in you letting some of your juices drip out. When he finally pulls out he heads over to the bathroom to grab a towel. Coming out with it wrapped around his waist. He sees you laying there still catching your breath from the sex. He lets out a smile bringing you a towel.

Kun: did you want to shower? I can give you some clothes.

You sat up on the bed using the sheets to cover yourself up as you started to turn red.

Kun: what’s wrong babe?

y/n: sorry that happened.

Kun: well I’m not..

you froze at his words....you honestly thought he’d be mad that you jumped at him. He was your boss. He walked over to you standing in between your legs as he pulls your chin up to look at him. 

Kun: i’m not gonna lie sweetheart that was a surprised but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t like it.

You slowly let out a smile show.

Kun: i just love your smile.

He places a kiss on your forehead and helps you up. handing you the towel.

Kun: Go shower babe and I’ll clean up here...you wanna spend the night?

You shyly shook your head yes as you left to go shower. When you came out wearing his hoodie and sweats he looked at you with a smile as his clothes were a little too big on you and you had sweater paws.

Kun: damn you’re so adorable.

______

[8:00 am] You were woken up by the dim light of the sun rising. You flipped back over to see Kun still sound asleep with his arm wrapped around your waist. You kissed him on the forehead as he moved at the touch of you and waking up.

y/n: sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up....

As he mumbles making a clear view of you

Kun: wow..

y/n:...wh-what? I know I’m sorry I look scary in the morning!

He lets out a giggle

Kun: no you look so cute right now. Where are you going?

y/n: I have to head home and change.....

Kun: why you don’t work today...why don’t you just stay here with me?

and he pulls you back into bed with him kissing your neck. He got up into the kitchen and started gathering ingredients.

y/n: what are you doing?

Kun: I’m making us breakfast....

You sat there watching him cook, that was a whole new side of him you never saw. He looked so handsome cooking for you both, you ate and cleaned up the kitchen together. You got dressed and he took you back to your place.

_____

A few weeks gone by and you guys had so much lust between you two. You were always at his place, sex every time with him was amazing. He finishes and pulls out of you laying next to you both panting. Staring at the ceiling.

Kun: what are you doing tomorrow night?

y/n: nothing why?

Kun: I have this party to go to can you come with me?

y/n: like as in a date?

Kun: yeah why not? it’ll be fun.

Once you agreed to it you had no idea what to wear. You went shopping and found a black form fitting dress and some heels to go with it.

____

[9:00 PM] It was the night of the party he came and picked you up. When you got in the car he sat there staring at you.

y/n: what? do I look funny?

Kun: no you look amazing....

You arrived at the party. Walking in with your arm linked around his. When you walked into the room it was filled with a lot of people. One of his colleges Jaehyun approached him reaching out for a handshake.

Jaehyun: hey man, long time no see...you never come to these things.

Kun: ah yeah I know.

Jaehyun: and who is this?

Kun: oh sorry! this is my girlfriend y/n.

You stood there frozen because did you hear him right? He said you were his girlfriend? You both fooled around a lot and went on dates but he never officially said you were a thing. To be honest you loved hearing it, as you smiled and reached for Jaehyun’s hand for a shake. You had fun at the party talking to his friends and he kept smiling at you seeing how much fun you had and his friends loved you. 

After the party he took you home because you had to help out your sister with some stuff the next day. He kissed you on the cheek as he let you out of his car watching you walk into your apartment building to make sure you got there safely.

_____

[8:00 AM] Monday morning 8 AM on the dot, in comes Kun. As your daily routine is to follow him to his office. You closed the door behind him walking over to his desk as you leaned in for a kiss he interrupts you.

Kun: what’s my agenda for today?

you stood up backing away from his desk as you were embarrassed with the movement you just did.

y/n: oh um. yeah sorry you have a 10 AM with the Dreamies and their manager to finalize everything for their concert. And then a 12 PM you are having lunch with your dad. And a 2 PM meeting with the music engineer about the new music for Hyunjin’s comeback. Ryujin from Human Resources needs you to sign these papers as well and to email them back to her whenever you are done with them.

You leaned forward placing the papers on his desk. You backed up after placing them standing there awkwardly. He looks up at you..

Kun: is there something you needed?

y/n: oh um...no. I’ll see you later sir...

You turned your feet and headed towards the door. Your heart was racing, but not in the way it usually does when you were around him. It felt hurtful for some reason. Why was he being cold to you all of a sudden. 

_____

[5:00 PM]  it was time to clock out. you peaked inside Kun’s office to see him packing up his stuff. You quietly approached him.

y/n: hey....are you headed home?

Kun: no I’m meeting up with Jaehyun to have a few drinks...why?

y/n: oh...no nothing. well have fun..

He didn’t even say another word to you and just walked out of the office. You were extremely confused with his actions today. The passed few weeks you were all over each other, and on Friday at the party he even introduced you to his colleges as his girlfriend. So what happened? Did you do something wrong? Or was it just a fling and he wanted something new. It made you upset.

When you got home you laid on your bed wondering what you possibly could have done to make him be this cold to you. He told you how much his friends adored you, so it couldn’t have been something you’ve said to his friends. It bothered you the whole night not letting you get a good nights rest.

You never really got much sleep last night because you couldn’t stop thinking about Kun and his cold attitude towards you. You didn’t have time to get coffee so your tiredness really came in the clutch. Plus with the Dreamies’ concert coming up you had to help prepare so much stuff, so work piled up.

____

[8:00 AM]  Kun comes in as you quickly followed. You had your hair up in a messy ponytail as you didn’t have time to wash it, your blazer wasn’t on like it usually is and you had a really bad headache. When you got into Kun’s office he sat at his desk.

Kun: what meetings do--woah what’s wrong with you?

He looks at you up and down as he sees your messy hair and messy papers you were hugging.

y/n: sorry sir...I didn’t get much sleep last night.

You never gave him a reason why you had lack of sleep as you just began reading his agenda.

kun:...y/n go home....

y/n: excuse me sir?

kun: you don’t look like you’re in your right mind right now...go home and rest.

His words kind of hurt you as he never knew the real reason to why you had lack of sleep.

y/n: but sir i--

kun: GO!

you turned around and walked out of his office going to your desk. placing your head on your arms. whispering to yourself “what is going on?” but then came back to reality when you felt someone tap you on the shoulder making you jump up.

y/n: OH MY GOD! why is everyone scaring--oh Renjun HI!

Renjun was one of the Dreamie members but best friend’s with your little brother Yangyang.

Renjun: noona are you ok? you look like crap.

y/n: long story...what are you doing down here?

Renjun: oh yeah...manager hyung wanted to know if you finished the stage layout?

y/n: oh yeah its right here.

you scrambled your desk finding the folder with all the paper for the stage layout. You were talking and laughing with Renjun as you handed him the paper. You didn’t really get to see too much of Renjun as because he was preparing for their concert. So this lil moment felt good to talk to someone who wasn’t telling you what to do.

Renjun: Yangyang said he was gonna come over to our dorm to hangout later, you should come.

You looked behind you to see Kun in his office staring at his computer. You wanted to be with him, but the way he was acting it seemed like he didn’t want you around.

y/n: oh sure yeah I’ll come stop by for a little bit. because apparently I now have the rest of the day off...

Renjun smiled and gave. you a hug as he went back to practice. What you didn’t know was Kun was really watching you both at the same time making him mad. He made eye contact with you for a brief second as he stared back at his computer.

As you were packing up your things you hear Kun yell for you from his office. So you quickly walked over. Walking in slowly with your head slightly down.

y/n: ye--yes sir?

Kun: I need you to look over these lyrics to make sure they sound right.

y/n: but-sir you told me to go home.

kun: well now I’m telling you to do this.

You just couldn’t understand what his problem was but you knew you couldn’t yell at him as he was your boss. You held in your tongue and did what you were told. When you were at your desk your phone buzzed.

{7:30 PM From: My Lil’ Yangyang} - Noona where are you? Renjun said you was gonna come over their dorm and hang out. He said you had the rest of the day off?

{7:32 PM To: My Lil’ Yangyang} - yeah I did, but the boss need me to do something last min. I’m sorry I’ll try to make it over there as soon as possible.

You looked over the lyrics as you were told to. You slowly were dozing off as it was already 10 PM. Kun quietly walked over to you seeing you sleep so peacefully resting your head on your hand. Slowly rocking your head trying to stay balanced. He couldn’t help but smile and giggle. As you fell off your hand waking up, seeing Kun standing in front of your desk. You jump up.

y/n: oh my god I’m sorry sir...I just--

Kun: if you’re done with looking over the lyrics you can go now.

He smiled at you then giggled again.

y/n: why are you laughing?

He then pointed to your hair as you felt a post it note stuck to it. You pull it out and throw it in the trash. Your phone lit up from a phone call from Renjun. Kun’s smile went away instantly at the sight of the caller ID “My lil Renjunie”

Kun: you gonna answer that?

y/n: oh- um..yeah. 

You pick up the phone.

y/n: hey Renjunnie...sorry I’m not able to make it right now to the dorms...

Renjun: are you coming over? your brother is drunk again.

y/n: oh my god not again.

You saw Kun walk back to his office without saying a word, but somehow his figure looked upset.

y/n: hey Renjun let me call you back. If anything happens just leave him there and I’ll come grab him after.

You hung up the phone and walked over to the office. It’s already 10:30 PM at night and you wanted to go home. But when you got to Kun’s office he had papers scattered all over his desk. You then slowly approach him.

y/n: sir...are you not going home?

kun:...no. I have a lot of work to do. Don’t you have somewhere to be?

y/n: no...

Kun: then who was that?

y/n: oh that was Renjun, one of the Dreamie members

Kun: well you seem pretty close with him then.

You could feel his coldness attitude come out as you stood there.

y/n: well yeah he’s my little brother’s best friend. He’s like my little brother too...I told you that before.

A small smile started to form on his face...but you couldn’t see because his head was facing the papers.

Kun: ah I see.

y/n:...well..um. I’m gonna head out sir...Have a goodnight.

As you slowly started to walk out he spoke.

Kun: did you want to get something to eat?

You were confused as his attitude changed AGAIN. Now he’s being nice to you again.

y/n: huh?

Kun: did you want to get something to eat? 

You couldn’t help but scratch the back of your head as you were extremely confused. This week he’s been cold to you and now he wants to have dinner with you. You couldn’t take it anymore you had to say what you were feeling.

y/n: sir I don’t know what I did wrong to you, and what ever it was I’m sorry. Last week when we were at the party you introduced me as your girlfriend, I’m not gonna lie that felt great. And I had a lot of fun with you over these passed few weeks, they were great. But what I don’t understand is why were you suddenly cold towards me, did I do something wrong? And now you’re being nice to me again buying me dinner.

It got quiet after you spoke your words. Hoping he would tell you what’s going on. You weren’t sure if you  wanted to just leave or stand there until he said something. After a few minutes he finally spoke up.

Kun: I like you a lot y/n. The passed few weeks were amazing for me too. 

y/n: then what happened?

Kun: When I introduced you as my girlfriend it just came out. I know I didn’t ask you officially to be my girlfriend, but I had so much fun with you that it just naturally came out. I wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way, and you only agreed to it so you I wouldn’t be embarrassed. Then when I saw you with Renjun I thought you guys had a thing.

y/n: eww oh my god Renjun is like my little brother....

Kun: I know that now....

y/n: but why were you so cold to me after....

Kun: I didn’t want you to think you had to be my girlfriend all the time. I didn’t know if you felt the same way as I did...that’s why I was being so cold to you. But it really hurt me to do that to you, because I could see the sadness in your eyes...and I knew your lack of sleep was because of me. And I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry for not just telling you how I felt.

You walked over to him grabbing his hands as he stared at the floor. You tilted your head to look at him.

y/n: I thought you knew how I felt about you the first night you brought me to your place. I knew I was drunk but my feelings were real. You are an amazing person Kun, at work and even more outside of work. That day you introduced me to your friends as your girlfriend, my heart fluttered so much. I felt so much warmth. I started to have feelings for you when you noticed the small things I’ve done. To my new hair, how I had little accessories in my hair up to the knowing the new perfume I bought. My ex wouldn’t even bat and eye....You made me feel like I was someone.

He pulled you into his arms squeezing you tight as you stood between his legs. Kun reached up to give you a kiss, his soft lips you loved so much. Your heart fluttered again with him holding you in his arms. He could feel your heartbeat against his chest. He smiled and pulled you in for a kiss again. When you both pulled away you can see expression become dark and hungry for something. He whispers in your ear...

Kun: wanna do it in my office baby?

Before you could nod “yes” his hand was already working his way up your thigh, making you release a moan. As you lean into his ear...

y/n: I’m already wet for you babe.

He then forcibly picks you up placing you on his desk as he starts to unbuckle his pants then pulling it down to let his hard member release. Pulling your panties to the side as he enters you without any prep.

y/n: oh yes...Kun right there...oh my god.

Kun: oh you feel so damn good. I’m glad I can fuck this any time..

y/n: anytime any where baby. I’m all yours. 

Thrusting himself in and out of you felt so good. Sweat dripping down from the both of you

Kun: baby I’m gonna make a mess in you like always...

Kissing your neck giving it little bit marks to show you belong to someone.

y/n: yes babe please...fill me up plea---OH MY GO BABY I’M GONNA CUM!

Kun: cum for me baby, I’m about to cum--oh my god!

you both reach our high for the first time in awhile since you officially became an item. He stays in you for a little bit before pulling out. Kun looks at you wiping away the sweat from your forehead and his. Placing a kiss right on your nose then forehead as he finally pulls out. Cleaning you both up with the tissues he had on his desk. You both got dressed. When you bent down to pick up your top you felt him wrap his arms around you. Turning you around to face him.

Kun: that was hot baby...

y/n: mmhmm...

He pulled you back in for a hug as you hugged him back, you can feel and hear his heart beat fast against your ear. 

Kun: wanna get food?

y/n: bbq?

Kun: that sounds perfect...let’s go

y/n: um...Kun?

Kun: yes baby?

y/n: can I get dressed first?

you both let out a giggle as he hands you your top to put back on. Placing one last kiss on your forehead and then on your nose. You then both went to the bbq place near Kun’s house as it was now your favorite place to go with him.

#nct #wayv #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #wayv fluff #wayv smut #wayv angst #nct kun #wayv kun #nct kun smut #nct kun fluff #wayv kun smut #wayv kun fluff #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop smut

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And When He Smiles I Swear I Can’t Breathe

Alan Rubin x fem!Reader

Word count: 1,618

Fandom: Blues Brothers

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blues Brothers characters or movies. This refers to Alan Rubin as a character in the movie, not the real Alan (although he obvsly played himself but you know what I mean)

I’d like to add that I made everyone of the band a few years younger (so the age gap between the reader and Alan isn’t that big), so he’s approx. in his early 30s.

Warnings: !!! IMPORTANT trigger warning mentions of physical abuse !!!

Chapter VII

Charlotte looked up to the musician, who only stood there, scowling at the woman while anger spread through him. “Anyway.”, Lari started again. “I don’t wanna ruin your date. I see you around then.” She winked at him and started walking away, disappearing in the nearest backstreet. Alan stood there, still saying nothing and he feared looking at Charlotte. He couldn’t bear to look into her eyes. He knew they’d be full of disappointment and pain. “Alan? I’d like to go home now.” His heart sank. “Sure.”, he replied with faltering smile.

As the two got into the car, the atmosphere was tensed. And before Alan started the engine he took a deep breath. “I had ended things with her before I even met you at our concert. We wanted different things.” He looked at Charlotte with concern, who wasn’t showing any reaction but fidgeted with her hands. “You gotta believe, me since I’ve met you I can’t get you out of my head. A-and the night she was talking about, I… got weak but I can’t undo what’s done.” Finally she looked at him. “Please Charlotte. The more time I spend with you, the more certain I feel I wanna be with you. Only you.” He smiled and carefully touched her hand. “It’s fine. We’ve just started dating, Alan.”, Charlotte answered him. “Alright, let’s take you home then.” Nothing’s alright. But Charlotte knew she had to keep calm, she had no right to be angry, he didn’t do anything wrong. She told herself she had to fight off those demons in her head if she wanted a proper chance with Alan. And she wanted that chance, more than anything in this world.

The next morning Alan couldn’t help himself but paid Lari a visit. He eagerly knocked at her door. “Alan, didn’t think I’d see you so soon again.” He pushed her inside. “What the hell were you thinking last night? I don’t run around town telling people who you fucked!” “Aww, did I made your date jealous? I assume you didn’t hit a home run last night? No? How about third base.” “Lari…”, Alan warned her, being on the edge. “You’re not loosing your skills are you?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “C’mon with a girl like her, you should have had an easy time.” Alan rolled his eyes in response. She slowly made her way towards him and moved her hands over his chest, tugging at the upper buttons of his shirt. “You know she won’t make you feel like I do.” “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”, he said, pushing away her hand and made his way to the door. “Don’t tell me you’re up for anything serious with her…” “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” He started to open the door as Lari slammed it shut with one hand. “Seriously? You dumped me cos I wanted more than a casual hook-up and you didn’t! And now you do? What has changed?” “The woman at my side.”, the musician snapped and left Lari’s apartment.

Later on the band had finished their rehearsal, when Lou approached his best friend in a quiet moment. “Alan, how are things going with Charlotte?” “Um, quite well, thanks. We went dancing last night.” “Dancing? Is that the newest code word for sex?” Alan laughed. “It certainly is not. We’re… not there, yet.” Lou took a breath and was about to say something when Alan continued. “I know, I know. Don’t you say it, it’s rather unusual for me. But Charlotte, she’s different, with her it’s different. She shines and has that aura around her-“ “Speaking of auras, her’s just walked into the room.”, Lou interrupted him and gave a nod towards the door, where a slight insecure Charlotte was standing, her gaze wandering across the room, in search for her trumpet player. And when their eyes met she excitedly started walking towards him. “Hi Lou, hi Alan.”, she grinned at the short haired man. “Hi Charlotte nice to see you again.”, Lou greeted her. “What are you doing here, hun?”, giving her a peck on her lips about which she seemed rather surprised. She didn’t expected him to be affectionate in front of his boys but liked it all the more. “Wanted do ask if you’d be free for coffee?” “Sure, just let me grab my stuff.”

They agreed on a small, welcoming café and took a seat on it’s outside area. “I’m genuinely surprised to see you.”. Alan took a sip of his cappuccino “Why’s that?” “Well, because of last night. You didn’t seem too pleased.” “I told you, I’m fine. I really am.”, Charlotte assured him and touched his thigh. “Did you find home well?” “Huh? You took me home, Alan, don’t you remember?”, the girl laughed. “I remember taking you to your neighbours house… again.”, he said in a dry tone. Charlotte sighed. “I know, I will tell them. But after the night at the Chez Paul I don’t think they will be happy to see you. I need some time to prepare them, if that’s the right word.” “I think it’s not.”, Alan raised a brow. “Anyway, I’m not keen on meeting them, I just think they should know that you’re dating, someone. Cos I don��t want you to get in trouble for constantly sneaking out of the house or lying to them. Or… you could move out.” That phrases instantly caused Charlotte to have a flashback. She could hear the glass of whisky shattering on the kitchen floor. The feeling of her knees buckling. He grabbed her throat, pushing her head up and forcing her to look at him. “Charlotte?”, Alan touched her shoulder causing her to startle. “Aren’t you feeling well? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “I-I’m fine.”, she stammered. “I will tell them, I promise.” And she tried to give him a smile. “I know your father can be difficult but he’d never hurt you, would he?”, he asked her with a concerned look on his face. “Probably not.” “I swear to God if he ever lays hands on you… You’re gonna tell me, right?” “Of course, Alan. I will.” Feeling uncomfortable talking about this issue she quickly changed the topic. “So did you pick up any new songs?” “Oh yeah, we’ve started on ‘Gimme Some Lovin’.” “You did? I love that song! Hopefully you worked out a great part for the horns.” “I think we have a quite lively arrangement, first rehearsal sounded wild already. You’re gonna like it.” “Is it in for your next concert?” “I guess so. Why, you wanna come?”, he asked her with a smirk. “Well, obviously. Someone’s gonna keep away the female groupies from you.”, she nudged his shoulder. “No one better than you hun.” and planted a warm, lingering kiss on her lips.

When Charlotte got home from her coffee with Alan, she felt confident telling her parents about the trumpet player. Sylvia was in the kitchen preparing dinner, while Frank was in his home office next door, doing some paper work. “Mum? Dad?” As she saw the glass on his father’s desk, she hesitated for a moment but felt like it was now or never. “There’s something I’d like to tell you.” “Uh huh.”, Frank murmured. “Dad, it’s really important to me, please?” He sighed and got up, joining his wife and daughter in the kitchen. Charlotte cleared her throat nervously. “So… How are you doing?” “Charlotte, what do you want?”, her father asked annoyed. “Er, alright. I-I’m dating someone.” “Oh that’s lovely, dear!”, Sylvia gave her a big smile before pulling her in a hug. “Who is it?” As Sylvia let go of her daughter Frank repeated his question. “I asked ‘who is it?’” “He’s a musician, playing with ‘The Blues Brothers’”. “The Blues Brothers?”, Frank laughed. “Shit, you know half of those thugs served time in prison?” “How do you even know?” “Fella of mine had to do some community service as a public defender.” “Sound like your fella isn’t the most honourable person either then!” “What did you just say?” “Frank! Charlotte! Why do you two always have to bicker!” “No, I’m sick of this control mania, I ain’t no teenager anymore!” “How about you introduce the young man to us, eh?”, Sylvia said with a smile, desperately trying to soothe everyone’s nerves. “You know what? You’ve already met him. It’s that sweet maître d at the Chez Paul, the one you spilled your fuckin culinary Hindenburg on!” “That kike?” “So what if he is?! Cos I don’t care.” “But honey, we are Christians, how is that supposed to work?”, Sylvia ranked on Frank’s side. “What the hell mum? We’re not living in the 19th century anymore. And by the way we don’t even go to church! Nice try!”, Charlotte scoffed. “You are about to become lawyer, Charlotte! Don’t you forget that You can’t associate with criminals.” Frank started yelling. “Bollocks to that!” “Not this again!” “Why are you two so stubborn? You’re making my life hell!” “We are making your life worth living!” “Jeez, I can’t do this anymore, I’m out of here!”, Charlotte spat. “You will not see this waiter again!” Frank grabbed her arm “Are we clear, Charlotte!?” but she could wrest herself free until he pushed her shoulder, causing her to run into the open kitchen door. As she tried to steady herself, she loosed her balance and fell. Lying on the floor she saw her father coming towards her with clenched fist. “Must I beat obedience into you once again!” “Frank stop it it!”, she heard her mother shout but it was already too late. 

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

#Alan Rubin x fem!Reader #Alan Rubin x Reader #Mr. Fabulous #Blues Brothers #blues brothers fanfiction #Blues Brothers fandom #Lou Marini

[aliypop]

When I First Met You (Part 2)

Word count : 1,765 

Warning : Language , Angst, Fluff

A/N : This is part 2 of  When I First Met You, But this time with Vampire Michael! cause why not! so I hope you guys enjoy it! Dedicated  to @a-supernatural-writer and @pitiful-anonymous-vampire​

Santa Carla 1987, the murder capital of the world, was what they called it. As the bustle of motorcycles and people fled the beach city streets, there stood on a cliff the remains of a hotel that had the view of the ocean. Standing in front of it all was Tiffany, her locket around her neck dressed in the finest leather and her signature black beaded corset. 

"David! Paul, Marko!" she shouted, "We're going to be late!" she sighed, standing next to her dark pink motorcycle with Dwayne beside her. "I took off work for this concert, and Star and Laddie already beat us there to it, now come on!" Tiffany shouted as she mounted herself on her bike, a dark pink Harley that she stole in 1955, Summers in Santa Carla were usually hot, humid, and magical but, most importantly, a time for fun chaos for the boys.  

"Tiff...baby, only I give the orders around here..." David snarled, a cigarette in his mouth, 

"Well, you're not doing a good job of it..." Tiffany plucked his cigarette as she stepped on it, "Now let's haul ass kitten..." she growled. The sounds of crowds cheering miles away from the cave only riled up Tiffany and the boys more for their blood lust of chaos,

 " Hey, Tiff! the last one to the video store owes everyone dinner," Marko said,

"Then I guess dinners on you!" Tiffany laughed as she revved her engine, speeding past Dwayne, David, and Paul.  The video store was like a second home to them, parking their bikes a few blocks away, taking a drag from his cigarette. David only rolled his eyes, pretending not to notice the fight between Marko and Tiffany. Besides, she could handle herself as she showed him early,

 "You fucking cheated!"

"You're just mad cause I beat you short stack!" she stuck her tongue out. 

"Paul!"

"Hey, if Tiffany won, she fucking won!" Paul smirked, putting his hands up in surrender: he laughed, taking her by the waist. As they began to walk into the crowd of people, Tiffany felt a hand grope her. As she tried to undermine the action, she could hear the faint mumbling of one of the Surf Nazi's saying,

 "Probably too dumb for a real man anyway..." 

Drawing back her fist Tiffany was ready to strike until she felt David pull her close to him and Dwayne, "We'll kill them later ..." his laughter cut short. From the corner of his eye stood Star and Laddie talking to someone new, which he didn't like. Besides, Santa Carla was a proclaimed murder capital, and you never knew who could be a vampire hunter. 

" Star..."  David nearly growled, a bit jealous. 

"See you tomorrow, Michael?" she asked, watching as the other guy smiled and nodded. 

Standing behind the counter was Tiffany, who, as usual, had to work. "I'm just saying that girl stiffed you, Mic!" a young boy about 13 said, 

"Whatever... You guys happen to have the new Bowie or Queen album?"  Tiffany only rolled her eyes until she turned to face him, dark brown fluffy curls and the most charming smile she had ever seen,

 "Anything for you, sweetheart..." she winked, heading towards the back of the store. 

"See, Mic if, that other girl stiffs you again, why not a record store, babe!" Michael only rolled his eyes at his brother as Tiffany giggled, "We have Queen, but we ran out of Bowie... She uh took the last one." Tiffany pointed to Star, who was waving from the doorway. She then took him by the chin, "But she's a good friend of mine, so if you ever wanna hang out and listen to Bowie, let me know..."  Sam only blushed, watching as his brother went speechless. 

"Yeah, sounds good. I'm Michael Emerson, by the way."

" I'm Tiffany, but you can call me anytime," she responded as she looked up at the clock. It was finally time for her to leave and be amongst the crowd.  Grabbing her keys to her bike, she waved out towards Michael and made her exit.  

"You didn't tell me he was hot!" 

"Because you didn't ask." Star laughed, "Hold on... " she saw Michael looking at the ear-piercing booth.  As Star worked her magic on the new boy, Tiffany wandered into Max's Video Village. 

There stood David, Dwayne,  Paul, and Marko, who was stealing yet another movie  E.T.  "You kids get out of here!" Max growled, watching as they "Terrorized" the tiny bit of customers, as the four left Tiffany waited outside with their bikes laughing 

"Kicked out again huh..." 

"Shut up Tiffany." Paul growled.

"Make me." she laughed, the laugh of Tiffany was like a sweet venom once it was in your veins you wanted more of it. Suddenly the sound of a motorcycle was heard , as the five looked they saw Star riding with Michael, "Star..." he sighed as she looked at David, 

"I was going to ride with..."

"Star..."

Star only sighed as she got on David's bike. Tiffany looked at Dwayne as she rolled her eyes, 

"Hey Michael, you wanna ride with us?  she asked as both Paul and Marko laughed. "I don't want to race you guys..." 

"It's not a race you just have to try to keep up..." David wink, "You think you can do that Michael?" he asked as Michael nodded. Engines revved as bikes raced across the California night sky like shadows in the night. "Hiya Dwayne." Tiffany grinned, blowing a kiss at him from her bike. Paul and Marko were neck and neck while Michael kept up with David, which was something that only a few people could do. The destination was the cave, which either meant they were going to feast on Michael which would have been a pity or they'd turn him. As they arrived in the cave Marko was with one of his many pigeons while Paul like usual was enjoying a nice joint, not that it had any effect on him. 

 "You know this used to be a hotel..." 

"Here we go again..."  Dwayne mumbled as he sat on the sofa shaking his head.  Tiffany laughed watching the scene unfold, which was just David going on about the history of the 1906 Santa Carla hotel. As the night progressed so did David’s and Stars intentions, standing with a bottle in his hand was Michael, The boys and Tiffany watched as he nearly drank every drop of David's blood, he was going to turn him, which wouldn't be a bad idea if they weren't currently dangling like loose ear rings on a train track bridge chanting his name. Paul had dropped first, then Marko and then Dwayne which only left Tiffany, David and Michael.  "Welp it's been a long night. I think I'm gonna drop out now." Tiffany untangled her index finger from the bridge as she waved at the two and fell amongst the thick fog 

"Marko look! No hands!"

As time passed on Michael started becoming a regular around Santa Carla, As the sun was up he'd help Tiffany in the music store as a new trainee. " See Michael, this is the bargain bin." her hands on top of his, as she looked into his eyes, "They usually go for about a dollar or so." she giggled, walking away showing him more of the store, she knew he was watching her every movement, they all did. From the switch in her walk in the giggle in her talk. "So what about Elvis where do those go?" 

"Next to that stupid Elvis statue." she sighed, as silence fell between them as the two stocked records and priced them. It was nice until he asked her a question that had never seemed to come across your mind.

"Did you always want to be this way?" he gestured to his canines with his tongue. 

" I didn't really have a choice, Michael could you take these to the back." she snapped at him shoving an empty bin at him, Vampires kind of were like people when it came to emotions, they had walls up that they didn't ever want torn down.  As Michael came back, he kept quiet, besides he had never seen her snap like that unless Paul or David used the last can of hairspray. 

"I didn't mean to -" 

"It's fine..." she leaned in wearing one of her many jean jackets and Guess pants to match. "You wanna know these things, cause Davids not gonna tell ya and Hell Max is gonna-" 

"What's he gonna do Tiff..." 

"I said too much..." she tried to walk away, as Michael held her wrist, "Tiffany tell me..." his hand rubbing circles on her cheek, "He's gonna have you kill or be killed..." she whispered, "What's so bad about that." 

"You couldn't kill a fly if you had to." she shrugged, "You'll die out there... " Tiffany pulled away from his touch. 8' O'clock on the dot like blood work was when the boys showed up, usually all four but tonight it was just Dwayne. "You told him didn't you..." he mumbled, watching as she turned her back to him, something that she'd never done specifically to him. "Next customer." she smiled ringing up their merchandise, "Tiffany..." he sighed, "Whatever you told him... just know I trust you."  Tiffany only tensed up, Dwayne never threw the word trust around, and for him to say that he trust her, only made her ache in the sorrow for what was yet to come. 

“Dwayne, wait…”  she turned to face him,

“It’s too late Tiff…” he shrugged walking out of the shop. 

Santa Carla 1987, the murder capital of the world, was what they called it. As the bustle of motorcycles and people fled the beach city streets, sitting at the beach in the night sky sat Tiffany alone sighing in melancholy. Waves crashed against her toes as she remembered the good times she shared with her boys. “HEY CUT IT OUT MICHAEL!” Star laughed as he splashed her with water. Paul and Marko were building a sandcastle as David stared at the night sky, pointing out stars to Laddie. 

“Is this spot taken…” 

“I was saving it for you.” Tiffany giggled, holding Dwayne's hand,  it was a serene sight all was right with The Lost Boys until they heard the sound of a familiar voice calling out to them. 

“Mom said it’s bedtime!” Sam shouted from the boardwalk.

“ 5 more minutes!” Paul shouted. 

“But it’s not even 5am yet!” David pouted. 

“Hey I don’t make the rules…” 

#the lost boy 1987 #the lost boys #the lost boys x oc #star the lost boys #marko the lost boys #david the lost boys #michael the lost boys #sam the lost boys #tiffany the lost boys oc #new stuff #fanfiction

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #427

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one enslaved”

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just break down. Do you play video games? Not really anymore. :/ I probably would, though, if I had the appropriate consoles for games I want. You can only replay PS2 games but so many times before you're tired of them. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No, honestly. Is your house more than two stories tall? It only has one floor. Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I'm not in a relationship, but I have most certainly never hit an s/o, and they've never hit me. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I'm not. What color is your hairbrush/comb? White. What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Hm. Just some fruity grain and oats bars, as well as cashew ones. We try to keep sweets out of the house. Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Holy fuck yes, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Ha, I'm sure. Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Some random middle-aged man, like who are you sir. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad. He can be so rude to people sometimes. When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Not sure. It's been quite a while. Do you play any games on Facebook? No. What would you like to get a degree in? It'd be nice to get a degree in Arts, but yeah... I'm never going back to school. Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Pretty much every night. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Almost without fail. You've got to, it's part of the experience. What genre of films do you like the best? Horror. How many bank accounts do you have? None, actually. Have you ever had the flu? No, thankfully. What is your goal for the next few months? To start getting in shape/losing weight. I seriously hope this gym routine works out. Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? I have seveeeere sleep apnea. It's shocking, I never would've guessed it, though, so the diagnosis (I had a sleep study, so yes, it's legit) was an extreme surprise. I don't snore at all, nor do I like pass out in the middle of something, but I stop breathing A LOT. For a year or two (no, that is not an exaggeration), it caused consistent, horrible, and violent nightmares/terrors. It made sleep frightening to me, and I was never getting a truly restful sleep. Now, I have an APAP mask (like a less extreme version of a CPAP mask) that helps me greatly. I only very rarely am surprised by a more subtle nightmare now. Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. No, thankfully. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Quality tattoos, for one. And maybe uhhh... idk. We're the kind of family that buys off-brand foods and drinks all the time because it's cheaper, so I can't say that. Maybe health care? Like I wouldn't want service from a sketchy dentist or something. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and romantic. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? No. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? That's hard for me to say. She doesn't seem to like talking about her past very much, because I know it's turbulent with her mother. I would say her being disowned, but I don't know how that *actually* affected her. Maybe it was for the better she wasn't under her mom's authority anymore. Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I guess my mom, but she's actually smaller than me now. She's lost a lot of weight and is still going at it. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Not a house, but rather hay rides and those places you just walk through and experience different stuff. They don't scare me at all; I love 'em. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? Ugh, mopping. I don't mind dusting. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Did you pull a senior prank? No. That shit is so dumb. Did you graduate? High school, yes. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No, and I never would. What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park right now. It's great. Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. Is fashion one of your interests? No. Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Hell if I know. Do you care what people think? Way, way more than I should. Is acting something you enjoy? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so stupid. What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I tore a ligament badly in my foot maybe a year and a half ago. I was SO sure it was broken. My mom had to help me walk everywhere, and even when she did, I'd be whimpering and seething. Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No. Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? If we're excluding all family, I suppose Sara's? Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Probably at some point as a kid. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played a lot. The only two I really didn't like were soccer and cheerleading. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Hell yeah, I loved it as a kid. Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Ha ha y'all know I joke about it, but no, not legitimately. It's not like I know him personally at all, and I'm not chasing him to California either. Just let me dream still lmao. Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No, but I've actually heard it's truly therapeutic and not just for dramatic effect, so I wouldn't be opposed to doing so if you handed me a picture of him and a lighter. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I've never hiked before. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Uh, no. Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Jason. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My dad smokes like a chimney and is 100% going to end up with cancer because of it. You should hear his cough. Mom smoked for a very, very brief period before I was born. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Equal in our bones" is on my favorite shirt. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Certain inverts people are wild enough to get, like giant African centipedes in particular. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Can't say I care. do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Ha, no. We all have natural first impressions and things like that that just... happen. What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? Nothing, really... besides just childhood memories that inevitably came. My hometown was dangerous. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? I'm not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I want to say Old Yeller, but I'm not sure. What’s your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Yeah; I don't like pie, strawberry shortcake, and I know there're others. Favorite album? Ozzy's Black Rain. It was my introduction to metal, so there's nostalgic value there, but I also just LOVE every single song. What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? None. I don't read books for that reason. Underwater or outer space? Both kinda frighten me to a degree, but I find outer space to be way cooler. So many colorrrrrrs. Dogs or cats? Cats. Kittens or puppies? Ugh, both are so cute, but I gotta hand it to kittens. Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching would blow me away. Whales are such magnificent, awe-inspiring animals. What is your spirit animal? Probably a deer. Skittish, shy, and quiet. What was your best subject in school? English. What was your worst subject in school? Math. What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? You and Jason aren't going to last, hunty. Who is your fashion icon? I don't have one. I wear what I want/what's comfortable. Diamonds or pearls? I think diamonds are a lot prettier. What color dress did you wear to prom? First one was maroon, last one was black. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. My jaw actually dropped. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes. Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Said things I shouldn't. Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Two weeks ago or something like that. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? OH MY GOD NO alskdfa;wekrwer; Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Who are you closest to? My mom. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. Are you currently sad about anything? A number of things. Have you had any form of exercise today? No, but tomorrow is day #2 at the gym! Can you handle blood? Yeah, np. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No sir=ee. Are you currently searching for a job? Not anymore, at least not actively. I was going to after TMS, but I'm just... still not ready. Right now, I'm focusing on the gym and getting healthy again, but if the seemingly perfect job comes along, I'm not opposed to taking it up. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No, I've got to have breakfast or else THEN I feel awful.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''thoughts & prayers" by motionless in white

[chaneajoyyy]

Do you know any plus size reader black panther fics?

I sure do!!!

PLUS SIZE READER X T’CHALLA

- golden girl, fingers dipped in gold series, early morning concerts, do it, a single prick series, singing lessons, lose that attitude, i’ve been going, his sixth sense, nice & comfortable, three kings of dreams, you may, comfortable, possibly, up and alert- @supersizemeplz

- family isn’t always everything, t’challa dealing wth his s/o having guardianship of her little bro, you and t’challa had a really bad breaku but he sees you at an event?, group text: date, in my feelings, t’challa after a hard day funning wakanda, “lemme show you how much i love you”, group chat: plans for tonight, love through tragedy, my apologies my queen, “choose”, lazy days (includes m’baku)-  @plussizeappreciationfics (search: tchalla and tchalla x reader)

-anonymous series, gentle giant series, the twisted ones, selfless series, all the stars series- @cassidyconner

- how the guys for the avengers would react to being twerked on (includes t’challa);  imagine you decided to post a sunbathing picture for instagram, knowing your husband, the king of wakanda will see. everything goes smooth until erik killonger decides to give you a lil too much attention. he ends up learning not to mess with the queen (fake social media au); imagine t’chala and his queen are execting their first child. the world is overy joyed by the little bundle of joy, imagine it ‘s halloween and you decide to dress up as your idol sorm leaving the entire internet shook (fake social media au), imagine it’s your anniversary with your boyfreind t’challa and he surprises you with a trip to the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen- @papi-chulo-bucky (search: tchalla)

- headcanons: short reader, king of spring, hot cheetos, rays of sunshine, pineapple princess, your highness, jealousy- @littlemessyjessi

- cats, why series, enough for now, jealousy headcanon, lingerie headcanon, nsfw headcanon, kinks headcanon, dom/sub headcanon, height headcanons- @madamslayyy

- queen by spring series, “i have a right to what is mine”, t’challa is straight up missing you, t’challa needs to feel your finger in his hair, imagine t’challa helping you find more peace by bringng you into meditation, wakanda now bath salt baths and tantric sex; your favorite physical aspect of t’challa is his mouth, t’challa and m’baku both like gap tooth play but t’challa like to run it along the outer lips while m’baku likes to work it over the nipples (includes m’baku and sam wilson); cater, matchmakers, show me, to our bedroom (search t’challa x reader)-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers

-miles apart series-  @eriksjournal

- t’challa with his first bbw- @sisterwifeudaku

- he spills series @captainsaveasmut (includes m’baku and erik)

- where are we?, the wakandan boys when the’re sick (includes erik and m’baku) - @sonofnjobu

- al fics- @eerythingisshaka

- learn ya series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- let’s play- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X M’BAKU 

- all m’baku fics- @plussizeappreciationfics

- your cherries, wakandan events & natural charisma series, love berries, ain’t got no time, shadows in the closet, tamed, change in schedule, big baby, intersting theories, why?, forever my chieftess, three kings of dreams, long days and longer nights, i wouldn’t mind- @supersizemeplz

- gaining favor- @littlemessyjessi

- healing gardens series, it’s complicated series, extra credit series, coming home series (includes what’s for dinner?), warrior spirit, diplomatic affiars, fading away, gemini rising: birthday edition, just business series-  @jellybean531

- work from home series, fever series- @mbakusthrone

- warm colors series- @mermaidchansons

- a special visit- @yaachtynoboat711

- tradition series, mr. stamina, truth or dare series, give it to me, the garden,, princess, 2 hours, i’m right here, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes erik and t’challa), would you rather-  @sonofnjobu

-chieftess, giving m’baku a lapdance, t’challa and m’baku likes gap tooth play (inclues t’challa and sam wilson), tradition, watch-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for m’baku x reader)

- an m’big surprise- @pastelastronomy24

- and i you, my love; hands, his girl, untitled, you are mine- @marvelmaree

- v.i.p (includes erik), you owe her an apology, no i can’t take a break, scraped m’baku headcanon, m’baku titty worship headcanon, whipped headcanon, the prince seires, is this love? series (ncludes m’baku) (with don’t be scared)- @madamslayyy

- fated instinct series, cabin in the snow series, whipped cream a la m’baku-  @greennightspider

- brown skin, oh angel, forever mine, best baba ever, the heat of trinidad series- @artisticestheticreads

- forget his name, our love in color series, a well deserved rest series, have it your way series, satisfied, another heir, what would you have me do? series, full body- @wakandan-flowerz

- crown royal on ice, two left feet, just for tonight series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- mother may i series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- sweet thang series, the best part, bow to me- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X ERIK

- how i feel, right now, animal, chains series, purple herbs & gardens, risks & new beginnings series, better with time, let’s play, without a doubt, sizzling pans & slow jams, misinterpretations, visions of gold, out business, come through and chill series, nights, slow burn, a siren’s allure, venom, the one, maybe they’re right, sore loser series, i’ll be alright, spooky cookies & vampire fangs, screams in the night series; knock, knock series; imagination, the cure series, poptart man series, this must be our song, conversation starter, heaven is a place on earth, twins?, say it, i’m there, his princess, his for the night, sugar baby series, authority series, baby shark, lemme try, take our time, say the word, sudden reunions series, memories of you, more ways than one, lemme try it again (that’s my face), not in budget, i would like to see it, pease mama bear, she likes me, guess what, times like these, tell me your secret series, he gets it from me, baby see baby do, see what had happened was, who me?, so relax, three kings of dreams, deck the b-…halls?, do it again, be quiet, you so crazy, how that sound?, you’re so handsome, sit still, leave me aloneee, don’t hide, or maybe, send it to mommy, but i’m sick.., you thought i wouldn’t find out, he’d make you his, ballet baba, ain’t that right?, he wasn’t having that, being honest, that’s all it took?, then stop ignoring me, since you can, but i thougth…, jealous, i won’t tell you again series, hit me, no reply, i’ve alway been, you sure?, no more tummy time, toss ‘em, you done now?, sing it baby, doped up, battle it out, for however long, bath time, bedtime stories, i’m sorry, was that so hard?, i owe you that, whatchu say?, hard headed, it should’ve been you, take our time series, baba’s day, whatever she wants, nope, can’t even look at you, not again, nose wide oen, just a bit longer, come on over to my place, fences & bullriders- @supersizemeplz

- all erik fics and headcanons- @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

- all erik fics and headcanons- @eye-raq

- teach me series, when you’re mad series, waffles series, slow ride series, movie night series, let’s talk about sex series, mines, thunderstorm, girl fuck you, eat your breakfast seres (with eat your dinner), secret admirer, amusement park fun, displays of affection, night at the movie theaters, silent hearbeats series, kissing strangers series, worship, loving the way you love it, day drunk, smile for me daddy series, just like you, we goin to hell, breeding time- @thehomierobbstark

- refuge series, champion series, soft series, all dadmonger fics, erik’s getting soft series, erik and his princess, erik’s afraid of live, erik takes care of his sick princess, erik witha shy girl, erik’s created a monster series, afraid of heights, erik loves to spoil you, you want it rough, t’challa’s trusted advisor, first kiss, the legend series, you hurt erik, i love you, erik backslides, the proposal, daddy, accountability, noral, kinky, foolproof, erik ad your burn marks, erik helps you do pole fitness, i do, first date, erik teasing his short gf, erik cuts his hair- @killmongersgurl

- late again, halloween party, imprint, a man in love, v.i.p (includes m/baku), daddy’s home, y’all again?, okay? okay, prisoner of love, family cookout, kiss, what’s cooking good looking, expecting headcanons, food headcanons, crying headcanons, nsfw headcanons, foot fetish series, halloween headcanons, lingerie headcanons, jealous headcanons, kevin’s  heart series, untitled series- @madamslayyy

-carnal stimulation series, next lifetime series, hoe ass erik series, dirty little secrets series, hennything is possible, sunday dinner series (with payback), a.d.i.d.a.s., green goddess, suddenly stevens, beauty is her name, it’s complicated. i’m sorry, the great reveal, neighbors know my name series (part 2 to @hearteyes-for-killmonger‘s story of the same name), the devil speaks xosha, mile high, trap card, act up, let me smell it, up late, i’ll take your man, carry on, dreams & nightmares- @goddessofthundathighs

- headass youtube couple series, fix my crown series, all skate, cutting ties series, #tsrbaewatch,  @apantherinmypastlife

- all erik fics-  @wawakanda-btch

- all fics- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- say my name series, beg for it, the coat room, charley horse, full court press, house party, boyfriend makeup challenge, gumby, the let out series, disorderly, token, all i wanted for christmas is you, hit the showers, neo, erica; veni, vidi, vici, i will be here, trick or treat, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes t’challa and m’baku)- @sonofnjobu

- mine, unravel me series (includes belong to you), i missed you series (inlcudes you a’ight and if they ain’t looking), rated e, on braodway, no average bitch,  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for erik killmonger x reader and erik killmonger imagine)

- all tasting mellow fics- @tastingmellow

- laid up series- @pastelastronomy24

- come lay with me, house hunting series, stretch marks, the footbal jerseyy, you sure?- @marvelmaree

- the deal series, nuggest of truth, girlfriend, all i want is you, care for you- @wakandamama

- rated e for extra petty, elbow deep series- @puffmamaa

- she got game, where’s the smoke, s.d.m., from paris with love, where the hoes at? (with t’challa and m’baku), written all over your face, baby bump series (wit cuddle buddy,, and hc: chubby!erik trying old clothes), not in that way, here kitty kitty, computer blue series, chunk series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all erik fics- @stripper-patrick

- he spills series (with t’chala and m’baku)- @captainsaveasmut

- i’m cleva series, do me baby (part 2 of @killmongersgurl‘s serieserik’s created a monste)-, @killmongerdispussy

- sorry he’s gone, mad issues series, curiosity happy weight- @curls-and-crosses

- nah baby i got you- @inxan-ity (scroll for erik killmonger)

- all fics- @writerbee-ffs

- paragone series- @dynastynoire

- all fics- @eriksjournal

- the sweetest taste series, late night drive- two of a kind series (includes ‘03 bonnie and clyde prequel), beyond the lights series, mad love series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- all erik fics and headcanons- @plussizeappreciationfics

-thanksgiving w/ mr. stevens and the udakus series (with valentine’s gumbo),  @mermaidchansons

- all erik fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @artisticestheticreads

*I AM GONNA START YOU HERE!! I KNOW I’M MISSING PEOPLE. SO IF YOU AND/OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW WRITES PLUS SIZE READER X BP CHARACTERS PLEASE HIT ME UP!!**

#the bp plug #bp librarian at your service #let's chat #sip tea #talk fanfiction #plus size!reader #erik killmonger fanfiction #t'challa fanfiction #m'baku fanfiction #black panther fanfiction #black panther fandom is the best #marvel fanfiction

[kpop---scenarios]

Torn Between Two

Part One! 

Demon! Kris Wu x Demon! Kim Jongin x Reader 

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 3.4k 

A/N: Hope you enjoy! @uwu-yifan​

Do you ever get the feeling there are eyes on you, but no one is around? You hear whispers in the wind but tell yourself you’re hearing things? Do you ever dream about two handsome strangers that you’ve never seen before? You didn’t always, but in the last few months, you’ve dreamt of the same two insanely attractive men. The two men with black eyes, one with white hair and one with grey hair. Everyday that you woke up, you felt the urge to know them more and more. You wanted to meet them, touch them and know they’re real and not just something you conjured up in dreamland. Most of the time by noon, you’d already forgotten about the men in your dreams and focused on your day and the man you had been seeing, Chanyeol. Chanyeol was nice, tall, funny, polite and not to mention the muscles. He was a little nicer than you usually went for but you decided to give him a chance after he begged you to give him one and you had to admit you were glad you did. You were having a lot of fun with him but you weren’t planning on having anything really serious with him. And because you weren’t serious with him, you didn’t tell him about your dreams, or your lust for two men you didn’t know, or the fact that you fantasized about both of them while Chanyeol was fucking you. Did you feel bad? Of course. Were you going to stop? Absolutely not. The way they touched you in your dreams, the way they made you moan, the way they could make you cum, woke you up, panting and agonizing for more. That’s part of the reason you said yes to Chanyeol as well.. when you woke up in the middle of the night, horny as all hell, you were able to call him to come help you out, which was better than doing it yourself. After you and Chanyeol were finished, he usually left because you had to get up for work, even though he tried to stay over a few times but you refused. You didn’t want him getting the wrong idea, even though you’d told him before that you didn’t want anything serious, he was adamant on changing your mind which wasn’t going to work. ** On Friday Chanyeol had called you to ask you if you wanted to go to a concert with him that night, you didn’t have anything else to do so you agreed. After work, you went home to shower and get ready for your outing with Chanyeol. He was taking you to see Jay Park, who was one of your favorite rappers. You had decided to wear tight black ripped jeans, along with a white crop top, your hair down and your make up dark and smokey. Chanyeol picked you up at 8pm, on the dot. He was never late to pick you up, being punctual was something he was very proud of. ** Arriving at the venue, the two of you managed to get a spot near the centre of the stage. After Chanyeol had made sure that you were okay, he left to get you two  few drinks. He returned just seconds before the show started, with three drinks for you and one for him, since he wasn’t much of a partier anyways, but he knew you liked to have fun. A few hours into the concert you yell to Chanyeol that you’re going to attempt to find a bathroom, he nodded as you turned around. Your eyes scanned over the crowd, but landed on two very familiar faces. Your eyes went wide as you see the two men you had been dreaming about for months. You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. You see one whispering in the others ear before they both turn to look at you, their faces straight. You close your eyes and shake your head before opening your eyes again in hopes that it was all your imagination, but it wasn’t. The two men still stood there, now smirking at you. The taller one with grey hair licked his lips as he looked your body up and down. The one with white hair gave you a sly wink along with his smirk. Both of them soaking your panties immediately. Chanyeol turns his head seeing you still standing there and asks you what you’re doing. You look at him quickly to answer but you turn your head back to look at the men who had now vanished. You stood there for a moment, wondering if what you had seen was all in your head or if they had actually been there? “Are you going to the bathroom?” Chanyeol asks. “Oh, uh yeah. I’ll be right back" you say, shaking your head before moving through the tight crowd of people. After you finish, you stand in front of the mirror, thinking about the two men you saw. You were sure that they had been there, but if they really were, how did they vanish so quickly. You drop your head down, giving it another small shake before you sigh. “What the fuck is wrong with me" you groan. “I think you’re absolutely perfect” you hear a man's voice purr. Your head shoots up, looking into the corner of the bathroom, there stands one of the men, the one with white hair. “just breathtaking” he smirks, walking towards you. “You" you whisper. “Me" he chuckles. “Kai" he says, introducing himself. “and you’re Y/N. The absolutely ravishing woman that has caught mine and my brothers attention" he says, standing before you, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. You can’t say anything, it’s as if your entire body is frozen in his presence. “Kai" you hear another man growl. “You weren’t supposed to approach her alone" he says, his voice deep and dark, like Kai's. “Ah my dear brother Kris seems to be a bit jealous" Kai chuckles, turning away from you to face his brother. As soon as Kai stepped away from you, you felt like you could move and breathe again, until his brother stepped in front of you. You were frozen again, your eyes looking into his black eyes that were void of emotion. “Such a pretty little thing you are" Kris whispers, stroking your face much like Kai. “She really is" Kai agrees. “Quite naughty too, as we’ve seen" Kris slyly whispers, the comment going unnoticed to you. “Y/N? Are you okay in there?” you hear Chanyeol banging on the door. Kris steps away from you, allowing you to breathe and speak again. “Uh, yeah I’m okay. I’ll be out in a second.” You shout. “Ahh, your little boyfriend.” Kris sighs. “We’ll be seeing you soon, baby girl" he winks. “Tonight in your dreams" Kai smiles, and like nothing happened, they’re both gone. With shaky hands you open the door to see a worried Chanyeol on the other side. “What happened?” he asks. “I ran into an old friend and lost track of time. I’m sorry" you say. “Can you take me home please?” you ask. Chanyeol nods his head and guides you from the venue to his car. On the way he asks you again, if he could stay over tonight. You couldn’t really come up with a reason to say no, since you didn’t work tomorrow, and you couldn’t really say ‘there are two sexy men coming to visit me in my dreams' so you reluctantly agreed. You wondered though, how were they able to come to you in your dreams? It actually terrified you a little bit, made you think the worst of what they could be. Ghosts? That’s a possibility. You couldn’t imagine vampires or werewolves could he real.. or could they? Maybe they were warlocks? Your mind was spinning with the amount of possibilities of what they could be. So much so, you hadn’t heard a word that Chanyeol had said to you on the entire ride home. When you finally came too, you heard the last part of what he was talking about before starting to talk about something else you’ve explicitly told him wasn’t happening. “.. say that when you meet my mom.” He laughs. “Then when you quit your job, you’re able to stay home in the new house we get together” he says. Before you can say anything, he pulls into the parking garage of your apartment complex, you dreaded agreeing to allow him to stay over, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him to go home, so you just went with it. The moment you unlocked your front door, you took your shoes off and made your way to the kitchen. Taking a bottle of water from the fridge you gulped it down almost as quickly as you opened it, and Chanyeol stood there shocked, yet impressed. “Wow" he laughed. “Impressive.” “Ha, yeah. I’m not really feeling the greatest” you tell him, hoping he’ll offer to leave. Unfortunately you’re not that lucky. “It’s okay, let’s go to bed and you can get some sleep.” He smiled. You forced a natural smile back at him before dragging your feet to your bedroom. You wanted to go to sleep, you had so many questions for Kai and Kris, but you didn’t want to be sleeping next to Chanyeol when they came. Clearly you didn’t have a choice, since you looked back at Chanyeol who was undressing, leaving himself in his boxers before climbing into your bed with a smile. He patted the side of the bed next to him, wanting you to come over and get in with him. You went in your closet to put on your ugliest pair of pajamas before hopping into your bed, with your back turned to Chanyeol. He snickered as he scooted himself closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and burying his face into your hair. You automatically rolled your eyes without even trying. Chanyeol fell asleep rather quickly, while you laid awake, unable to sleep with the heat radiating from his large body and the dead weight of his arm practically crushing your ribs. You decided to attempt to wiggle your way from his grasp, trying to not wake him up. You managed to squirm your way out of his death grip and slide your body off the bed like a worm. You sat on the floor for a second to catch the breath you were holding. Finally you stand up, creeping your way to the kitchen, needing some water to still quench your thirst from earlier. Glancing at the clock, it reads 2:48am and you sigh. You were tired, but you couldn’t sleep. The anticipation of seeing them again made your body flutter with excitement, but also with fear. As you turn to leave the kitchen, you bump into a hard chest of a man. Your first thought was that it was Chanyeol, but then you remembered he was shirtless and you could still hear his snoring from the other room. “Mhm, your boyfriend is here?” he growls. Looking up you see the black eyes and unimpressed face of Kris. “He’s never stayed here before" he says, his eyes staring straight across the kitchen to your bedroom. “He wouldn’t stop pestering me to stay over. And he’s not my boyfriend." you whisper. “You should have told him to fuck off" You hear from behind you. Turning your head you see Kai standing almost against your back with Kris standing in front of you. You feel so small between the two of them. “You’re not serious about him, are you now baby?” Kris asks, his black eyes now on you. “N-no. I told him I don’t want anything serious with him but he keeps pushing" you whisper. “Pushing how?” Kris asks, cocking his head to the side. “Just doing things a boyfriend would do that I don’t want from him.” You say. “He keeps trying to bring up meeting families, moving in together, trying to get me to quit my job. It’s making me start to feel uncomfortable.” You admit, the truth flowing from your mouth like word vomit. “Would you like us to take care of him?” Kai breathes. “Yes" you huff, before you were even able to process what he asked. “Wait? Get rid of him or like kill him?” you ask. “He hasn’t technically done anything for us to murder him. We could get in trouble for that since it isn’t his time." Kai says. “..although we’d like too" Kris murmurs under his breath. “Unless you’d like us to murder him..?” Kai asks. “No, no murdering please.” You say. Kai pouts for a second before he and Kris develop evil grins on their faces, as if they know what each other is thinking. “I like it. Good idea.” Kai tells Kris with a sinister look on his face. “What idea? Neither of you said anything? I’m so confused.” you huff. “No worries baby, we’re just going to take care of the love sick puppy in there. It’s going to be slow, but in about a week you won’t have an issue with him anymore" Kris tells you. “What are you?” you ask, stepping out from in between the two. “Do you want to know?” Kai asks. Did you want to know? Would you regret it? “Yes" you admit. “We’re demons.” Kai says. “Demons? Like from hell?” you asks, not really sure how to feel   “Correct.” Kris answers. “So what do you want from me?” you ask. “Why do you even know me? Why is any of this happening to me?” “Do you want to take this one? Or should I?” Kai asks Kris. “I’ll do it" Kris chuckles. “You remember that party you were at a few months ago, at your friend Jisoo's house?” “Yeah..” you say, thinking back to the party that was almost six months ago. “You said, and I quote ‘I’d sell my soul for some bomb ass dick'" Kris tells you. Instantly the memory hits you like a ton of bricks. You did say that. “Okay?” You say. “That's us. We’re the bomb ass dick you’ve been seeking, we just need your soul" Kai smiles. “I don’t want to give my soul up" you whisper, feeling more scared now then you have been. “We don’t want it now.” Kris says, glaring at Kai. “Originally we did, but the more we watched you and kept tabs on you, the more we just wanted to find out more about you.” “You’re quite captivating, you know?” Kai smirks. “What do you want from me?” you ask. “There’s nothing we want from you. We just want you.” Kris tells you. “Want me? Like want to take me? Want to hurt me? What?” you ask. Kai chuckles. “No love. We want to be with you” “Both?” Kris nods his head. “At like the same time?” “No. We figure the best way is to each date you and then in the end it will ultimately be your decision who you want to be with.” Kris says. “What if I choose neither of you?” “Then you don’t choose us.” Kai shrugs. “Obviously we hope you will choose one of us but we can’t force you, as much as we’d like too" Was this real? Or were you dreaming? Did you actually have two extremely sexy men wanting you? Wanting to prove to you that they would be the best fit for you? You had to pinch yourself to believe it. “Ow" you hiss, knowing full well that you’re definitely awake. “Just had to make sure I was awake" you say to the two man staring at you, concerned. “Y/N?” you hear a groggy voice from the bedroom. “Ugh”. You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry baby, we’ll take care of him. See you soon" Kris winks before they both disappear. A groggy Chanyeol comes shuffling into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. “What are you doing?” he yawns. “Its like 4am" “Yeah I can’t sleep" you say, turning to go towards your bedroom. “I can help with that" he chuckles. “I’m okay. Stomach still hurts" you say crawling into your bed. Chanyeol crawls next to you, snuggling against you. This time, you fall asleep, having pleasant dreams about Kris and Kai. Whereas Chanyeol, began to have nightmares. He tossed and turned in his sleep as what he could only describe as demons, chased him relentlessly through the crowded streets. Chanyeol continuously turned his head, seeing if they were still following him and no matter where he turned, there they were. “Hey buddy" one of them yelled, eyes glued to Chanyeol. “Stop" Chanyeol halted, feeling as if his feet were glued to the pavement. “W-what do you want?” Chanyeol stutters. “Stay the fuck away from Y/N" Kai snaps. “You don’t want to see what will happen to you if you don’t listen.” Kris growls, his eyes turning black. Chanyeol bolts up in bed, his body soaked in sweat. He looks over at your peaceful sleeping body before getting out of bed quietly and getting dressed. Chanyeol takes one last glance at you before quickly but quietly bolting for the door. A few hours later, Kris sneakily pops himself into your room, his cock hard, needing to get off. He laid on your bed in between your legs in your dream, his tongue licking a long strip up your pussy. "Mhm, tasting as good as I imagined." He smirks. Kris wraps his lips around your clit, harshly sucking. Your hands grip the bed sheets as your back arches. He places a hand on your stomach, pressing you back down into the mattress without any effort. Before you have a chance to cum, Kris removes his head from in between your legs, licking his lips as he looks at you. "It's going to be quick baby, I gotta get back." He smiles, unbuckling his belt. You watch intensely as he pulls his pants down just enough to let his cock spring free. It's bigger than you imagined, thicker too. You can see his precum leaking from his tip. You lick your lips, wanting to taste him but you know you'll have to save it for another day. Kris lines himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing himself inside you, stretching you out completely. "Fuck" you hiss, your eyes already rolling into the back of your head. "That's right baby, take my cock" he growls, pulling out of you before slamming himself back inside. You can't help but moan loudly, practically screaming as Kris continues to fuck you. "You take it so well." He growls, placing his finger in between your lips to rub your clit. "Cum quick baby." You clench yourself around him, his cock and fingers working like magic as your orgasm builds extremely quick. "Fuck" you cry out as pleasure shoots through your body, your orgasm completely taking over. "That's right baby." Kris grunts, yearning for his own release. "Shit.." He cries, cumming inside of you, his warm liquid coating your walls. Kris pulls out of you, as you chest heaves, attempting to catch your breath. He walks to the bathroom, getting a warm cloth to clean you up. When he finishes, you fall asleep almost immediately to the sound of him humming to you. ** Waking up in the morning, you're relieved to feel the spot next to you is empty, and your apartment is quiet, meaning Chanyeol must have taken off extremely early. You smile as you stretch out in your bed, only to feel the side next to you now weighed down. Turning your head you carefully peel one eye open, to be met with the face of a smiling Kai laying beside you. "Morning" he says in a low voice. "Busy night?" He asks. "I can smell Kris' scent on you baby, and you know what that means, I need to replace his smell with my own." He smirks.

#kris wu #kris wu smut #kris wu fics #kris wu writing #kris wu imagines #kai fanfiction #kai smut #kim kai #Kai scenarios #kim jongin #exo jongin smut #exo fanfiction #exo scenarios #exo writing #exo #exo smut fanfic #kpop #kpop smut #kpop writing #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

[angrylizardjacket]

only fools {Dominique Beyrand}

Summary: You’re in love with Roger’s new girlfriend. Is it easier to pretend you don’t have feelings or come clean? You say both, eventually! The truth is bittersweet.

A/N: 4331 words. ANGST!! I don’t know much abt Dominique so this is based 100% on borhap, tho there’s a few bits abt the band from real life, but its borhap based for the most part. i hope you like it!! i’m pretty sure the reader is gender neutral, but there may be 1 or 2 female pronouns accidentally. there’s mentions of cheating.

----

You’ve been friends with Queen for arguably too long, know them now in excruciating and almost intimate detail, and are absolutely immune to their various charms and stardom. It started in university, with you as a popular radio jockey on campus, and living in a flat around the corner from Freddie and Roger’s little market stall in Kensington. 

You know of their band, of course, you’ve always got your ear to the ground for local talent, and you jokingly tell them that if they ever get an album together, you’d be the the first to play it. A year and a half later, they hold you to that. 

When they’re making it big in the mid-70s, and you’ve scored your own show on an actual radio station, they start turning to you when they want to release a single, or give an interview, and people start asking why. You simply shrug and smile, which is easier than explaining that you’d spent a good deal of your second year of uni bothering Freddie and Roger at their stall instead of doing your homework, and somehow that became a friendship, and now you and John have tea every Monday afternoon, and Brian tried to teach you guitar once, but ended up waxing poetic about his thesis when you noted that his desk was rather messy.

So yes, you know them rather well, since the start of the band’s musical career, in fact, and have witness, and occasional party to, some of their dumber, post-gig antics, which has given you both regrets, and immunity to their antics. Never again will you be Roger’s look out when he climbs to a third story balcony for a girl - he lost a shoe on the second floor and it hit you in the back of the head. Prick. 

Which makes it rather unfortunate that you’ve taken such a liking to his latest girlfriend. At first you tell yourself that it’s simple and platonic appreciation for another individual with a head on their shoulders, that you liked her in the same way that you like John or Brian when they were being sensible. When you go out with the band, which isn’t a lot these days, but still it’s enough, she seems to make a point of including you, of smiling at you like a friend though you barely know each other. 

Always, she is by Roger’s side, and you think this is the first time you’ve seen him properly smitten, which makes it ache, in such a strange way, when she smiles back at him. You’ve never felt like this over Chrissie, or Veronica, or Mary. But you push it down, and when they invite you to go to their concerts, you find yourself in the wings by her side, and you dance with her at the afterparties when she offers her hand, and she invites you to lunch to catch up every few weeks.

It’s perfectly harmless, you tell yourself as you actively repress the strange sort of desire she unknowingly elicits from you. 

There’s something about her, beyond a pretty face, and a vicious smile, more than her sharp wit and dangerously intoxicating perfume, like she could ask you to walk over hot coals and you’d crawl to make her happy.

When she laughs over lunch, like actually laughs, full-bellied, head thrown back, glowing in the afternoon sunshine at something you’d said, you suddenly remember every stupid and horny antic Roger has ever been party to, often at the expense of whatever girl he was meant to be seeing at the time, and you want to tell Dominique to run fast and far, to try and protect her. But Roger’s told you he’s changed, that he’s in love, and you grit your teeth.

You’re kind of fucked.

And there’s no-one in your life who you can talk to without being judged for feeling like this. 

So you take what you can get. 

You go out with the band when they invite you, you catch up with Dom often when they go on tour, and you realise, with a strange and painful clarity, that she’s become your best friend.

“How come you’ll agree to help Dom with shenanigans, but not me?” Roger plays at being jealous of your not-so-secret favoritism, his arm around Dominique in a hotel bar that had been closed for a private, Queen function, currently buzzing with the band members, their various significant others, members of the press, members of their tour group, and management team. And you. 

You and Dominique share an amused, almost conspiratorial look. 

“Because I actually like her,” you tell Roger, flatly, and he raises is eyebrows when you look back at him. You don’t miss Dominique’s pleased little smile that she hides in her glass.

“That’s just about the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he shakes his head, clearly not actually taking your words to heart, but you huff a laugh.

“And her shenanigans never landed me in the emergency room -”

“Hey, I was the one with the sprained ankle -”

“You acted like you were dying, Rog,” you sighed deeply, “you tried to bribe me to run a red light,” and Dominique gives her boyfriend a surprised, vaguely judgmental look as Roger quickly turned pink.

“I was in grave pain.”

“Darling, you are a grave pain,” Dominique told him sweetly, and Roger pressed his hand to his chest, scandalised. 

“Et tu, my love?” 

But Dominique’s looking at him all fond and sappy when she tells him that you’ve got a point; you excuse yourself right as Roger lowers his voice and reminds her that there’s times she seems to think he’s pretty great, voice laced with heavy innuendo. 

You’re discussing the band’s latest album with their sound tech when Dominique finds you again, looking recently debauched, lips all kiss-bruised despite her fresh coat of lipstick. You quietly and desperately wish you would have been the cause of her unkempt state, the sight alone making you want to do unseemly things to her. 

“Sorry about that, Roger had a point to prove,” she says lightly, as if nothing had happened, and she snakes her arm through yours as she joins the conversation.

“Did he prove it?” You asked flatly, if only to play along for her benefit. Her cheeks flushed for a moment as she cleared her throat, looking over her shoulder.

“Twice,” she had to try and hide her grin from the scandalized sound tech. When you followed her gaze, your eyes met Roger’s; he’s so damn smug. You felt like you were going to put your fist through a wall.

The next time you caught up with Dom, however, a few days later, she apologises again, looking guilty for reasons you can’t quite understand.

“Why are you apologising? You didn’t do anything wrong,” you assured her, gently putting your hands on hers over the table; when she meets your gaze over the table, she blinks quickly, processing the information. 

“I just felt like I should,” even she doesn’t know why she’s apologising again, “it wasn’t... it was inappropriate.” She finally settles on, and you give a fond, if longsuffering smile.

“When’s Roger ever appropriate at a party?”

“I suppose,” she still looks unsure, however, but the waiter comes over and the ordeal is forgotten. 

Except that it’s not. There’s something new in the way she looks at you, almost hesitant, faintly apologetic, and even a little confused. It’s not something you’re used to, Dominique’s always been endlessly confident and forthright, she’s never been cautious in the history of your friendship.

“I’m worried you think less of me,” she says, blunt as always, when you finally ask what’s wrong.

“Dom, nothing you could do would ever make me think less of you,” you tell her with probably too much honesty. After a moment spent mulling your words over, she moves closer on your plush little sofa, until her leg pressed flush against yours.

“I care about you a great deal,” she tells you, with her own sudden burst of honesty, “and it’s been rough with Roger on tour; I don’t think I could have gotten through it half as well without you,” and she’s looking at you, almost nothing in her expression, like she’s gauging your reaction to let her know how to feel about all of this. 

You’re absolutely terrified she can read every feeling and emotion as it passes through you at her words, and the I want to kiss you to make you shut up about your stupid boyfriend that’s flashing like a neon sign at the front of your brain. 

“I care about you too,” is what you manage after a beat of panicked hesitation, trying not to act as flustered as you feel. Her smile is warm and confident, however, and she thanks you gently, turning back to the TV that had become white noise in your ears. You spend a good few moments more just watching her, wondering what that was all about, before she leans against you, and you just kind of have to accept it.

But there’s something different now, a new energy between you both when you spend time together; she’s more tactile, more prone to staying with you at events, more likely to pick you, you realise.

“Are you trying to steal my girlfriend?” Roger once jokes, and you try not to let your panic show.

“If I was, you’d deserve it,” you laugh, but his expression scrunches up, reading the insult and implications in your words. You get the feeling Roger doesn’t much like you anymore.

But Dominique’s skin is always warm against yours, her hand in yours when strolling about the city, and you get lost in her perfume and her laughter, and some nights she comes over while Roger’s away, and you get tipsy together while watching TV or listening to music, and she’ll curl into your touch and whisper you’re too good to me like it’s a guilty secret the rest of the world can’t hear. She sleeps on your sofa rather than going home to the luxurious, empty bed she shares with Roger, and in the morning you wake to her humming and making breakfast. 

There’s something so domestic about it, and she’ll smile at you, sipping tea in the kitchen, and your heart will melt. 

You want to be allowed to love her, but Roger will always come home. 

Once, twice, a slow song will play on the radio, and she’ll ask you to dance, wrapping herself up in you as you sway in your living room, both of you drunk on a Sunday evening, her breathing slow and even, her eyes closed, and you wonder what she’s picturing. Maybe her boyfriend. Fiancé. Fuck.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that it takes her hands holding your face to register that you’d both stopped moving. Her smile is soft, eyes warm.

“You’d look beautiful in a ball gown,” she says with quiet adoration, and before you can process that that was what she was thinking, your body’s moved of it’s own accord, and you’re kissing her. 

And she’s kissing you back, tasting like wine and fruit, lips soft and gentle, fitting against yours perfectly. She sighs softly against your lips, hands coming to fist in the collar of your shirt as she pulls you closer and I love you tumbles involuntarily from your lips. She pauses.

“I know,” her voice is gently apologetic, barely more than a whisper, “I’m sorry.” You can see she wants to say more, wants to kiss you again, like she wants to live in this moment before it had suddenly turned sour. Her I love you too goes unspoken, but she cups your face in her hands again, thumbs running across your cheeks, across the sudden, faint shock and sorrow written in your expression. She doesn’t step back, she doesn’t even try. 

“I should go.”

“Do you want to go?” You ask, voice soft, the words barely registering to your own ears. There’s a long moment of silence as she considers, weighs her options, hesitates before kissing you again. It hurts, it’s a uniquely masochistic form of torture you’re putting yourself through, but she stays, and the next day you both act like nothing happened.

She’ll make breakfast, smile at you over tea, and in a few months, she’ll marry Roger. 

You’re not invited to the wedding, and part of you is grateful. 

“Aren’t you going to tell me not to go through with it?” She half jokes over coffee a few days before, which shocks you.

“Why?” You’re concerned rather than amused, and she looks a little guilty when she meets your gaze.

“I- do you... still have feelings for me?” She asks, uncertain, and you sigh deeply, sitting back in your chair.

“Do you love Roger, Dom?”

“Of course,” she answers immediately, a little defensive, which seems strange given the situation, but she thaws and takes a long sip of her drink, “I do, I really do.” She admits, sounding almost disappointed in herself.

“Then it doesn’t matter what I feel; do what makes you happy.” You’ve come to terms with the fact that you’d lost to Roger a long time ago; brief affair aside, you don’t want to make Dominique question her world so close to her happy ending. 

So you pointedly don’t ask how she feels about you.

According to the photos in the tabloid, it’s a beautiful wedding, and Dominique and Roger make a picture perfect couple. You spend three days in your house, wrapped in a blanket in front of your TV; you don’t take the phone off the hook in case work calls, but Dom’s on her honeymoon, so you’re not expecting to get any calls from her. 

There’s a full month of radio silence while she’s being whisked off to somewhere romantic, and it’s the longest the two of you have gone without talking since you’d met. The minute she gets back, however, she calls and asks you to lunch, but hesitates, adding that if you didn’t want to -

“Of course I want to!” You’re delighted to hear from her, and only realise once you hang up how much it’s going to hurt. 

Her wedding ring catches the light and you want to immediately flee to the Scottish highlands and become a goat farmer and never talk to another living person again at the sight of it. You smile, and hug her in greeting.

You talk about work, both yours and hers, and about how Freddie’s buying a mansion in London, and how cute John’s kids are, and about everything but the very recent wedding she’d gone through, or the husband she now has.

This time, when you take her hand to traverse the city together, you feel the cold metal of her wedding ring, and something inside you dies, just a little. It’s like she can tell, however, because she immediately skirts around you to take your other hand, tucking you close. And you let her. Every time, you let her. 

Nothing happens between you both, nothing like before, but she still comes over when Roger’s on tour, still sleeps on your sofa, still spends time with you around her busy work schedule, and it hurts to see her hurting, when she gets tired and lets slip about the rumours she’s heard. Apart from one night, she’s practically been a saint to the drummer; his record, however does not appear to be so clean. But she puts on a brave face, and he always comes home.

Freddie throws a party in the early eighties, dressed in a crown and cape, he’s invited everyone remotely outlandish in London, so it seems, and of course his band, and you. You find them all on a cluster of gilded sofas, looking already worn out by the whole affair, despite everyone partying around them. But Dominique brightens when she sees you, and pulls you in to the conversation. Roger, already in a mood, does not even look at you as the rest of the band greets you warmly where you’ve perched on the arm of the sofa by Dominique, her free hand coming up to rest on your thigh. 

They’re teasing Roger about his car song again, which you refrain from, not that you don’t love teasing him about that ridiculous song, but you’re also pretty sure that if you speak to him, he’ll throw his drink at you. 

But Freddie joins them, too exuberant by half for the muted mood of the band amidst the partygoers, and Roger’s ready to leave when Freddie makes a comment that turns your blood to ice.

“Loyalty’s so important, don’t you think Dominique?” 

The world around you fades away to her reaction. No-one’s looking at you, they’re all looking to Roger, because it’s an implicit confirmation of the hoards of rumours Dominique’s been trying to live in denial regarding. 

“Watch it,” Roger warns his bandmate, and Dominique looks pissed, but for the barest moment, she casts her gaze over her shoulder, to you, and you can read the heartbreak in her eyes. 

You wish you’d told her to run years ago after all. 

You wish you’d never believed that Roger had changed.

You wish you’d told her not to go through with the wedding.

You wish a lot of things in that moment. 

But there’s no time, and she’s gone with Roger, both of them furious for different reasons, while your heart lays beating in the seat she’d just left. Looking around, your head is full of a fog in the wake of Freddie’s words, and their departure, and it’s like no-one else can see that your whole world has gone to Hell.

“I need to stay with you,” Dominique calls you the next day, sniffling, and you’re agreeing readily, asking if she needs a lift over. 

She brings a suitcase, and a tearful apology for barging in like this. You wrap her up in a hug, telling her not to worry, that it’s not a bother and she bursts into tears. You order food and wrap her up in a blanket, and stay by her side until she falls asleep against your shoulder. You carry her into bed, tuck her in, and then grab your jacket and go out.

“I should kick your ass,” you snarl after Roger finally lets you in where you’d been kicking at his front door. He looks disheveled, but not like he’d been sleeping, like he’d been crying.

“Are you here for the rest of her things?” He asks flatly, and you do actually shove him, hard enough that he hits the ground and slides against the tiles.

“You stupid, insensitive fucking asshole!” You yell, fuming, “get up, Roger, get up!” You demand, and he does, slowly.

“I’m not going to fight you; you won, okay? She hates me -”

“And she has every right to, don’t play the fucking victim here, don’t try and act like you weren’t the one to sleep your way across the world while you knew she was waiting for you!” Your lip trembled at the thought of all the late nights you’d spent comforting her, reassuring her that it was just the tabloids taking things out of context, “she loved you so fucking much, you stupid fucking slut!” He laughed humorlessly at that, sitting back down on the ground, knees drawn up to his chest.

“We haven’t loved each other for a long time now.”

“That’s not true.”

“She loves you.” 

“That’s not true.” There’s a wobble to your voice, your fraught emotions turning quickly to desperation. 

“I know you slept together,” he says, finally looking at you, and your mouth snaps shut. He doesn’t seem mad, he doesn’t seem... anything. It’s just a fact, no malice behind it. “She told me the day after it happened,” he paused, “and I told her it was okay, told her I did similar stuff in my youth, but if we loved each other, we’d have to be better people, for each other.”

“And she loved you,” you said with dawning despair, realising what he was implying. He nods, gaze drifting, as if not quite registering everything that was happening, “but you...”

“By my own logic, I was already falling out of love; I was a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite.”

“You’re self aware,” you said, sitting down as the fight left you.

“Not really, she yelled it a good deal at me yesterday. She’s right, though.” He takes a deep breath, resting his chin on his knees as he stares at the other wall. “We used to be friends,” he muses and you hum in response, “we used to be a lot of things; young, broke, nobodies, friends.” He lists, and you agree quietly, “I think I knew you would be better for her, even from the start.”

“You knew I loved her from the start?” You ask, not even trying to deny it, and Roger looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m not blind,” he tells you with surprising bitterness, and you clam up at that, “but she loves you because you’re still here, even though she loved me too.”

“Because I’m an idiot,” you mutter, shaking your head.

“Probably,” he agrees, and when you make an indignant noise, he gives a flat look, “you didn’t talk her out of marrying me even though you’re in love with her.” He reminds.

“I never want to be the cause of her unhappiness,” you explain softly, mirroring his sitting position, your chin on your knees. Roger nods, “but you hurt her, and I came here to kick your ass.”

“Will you love her like she deserves?” He asks softly.

“If she wants to come back to you, I won’t stop her.”

“You love her better than I ever could,” Roger says with realisation. You’re not going to disagree with him.

When you get home, she’s still asleep in your bed, and you curl up on the sofa, restless all through the night. Dominique wakes in the morning, and comes out, sees your eyes open, rough from sleeplessness, and tears well in her own as all the memories from yesterday come flooding back. 

“Do you want breakfast?” You ask, voice rough, and she nods. You stand, and head to the kitchen, moving automatically around the little space. She watches, quiet eyes, unsmiling, contemplative, but she’s not crying. 

“What do you want to do today?” You hear yourself asking, voice carefully neutral. 

“Do you... do you still love me?”

You freeze. It takes a moment, but you finally look at her, expression blank. 

“I don’t think this is the time-”

“You’re always telling me to do what makes me happy, asking me what I want, what do you want?”

“I want you to be happy,” you tell her softly; her eyes are getting misty, but she’s still not satisfied with that answer.

“I want you to think about yourself for once; what do you want?”

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment as you try to organise your thoughts. 

“I want to be able to tell you I love you, and not have you hesitate to say it back -” you admit, but she cuts you off, words quick.

“I love you.”

“I -”

“I love you.”

“Dominique -”

“I love you, and I have for years. I love you.”

“Then why did you marry Roger?!” You finally explode, and her eyes go wide, before he gaze drops to the counter with shame.

“Because I thought it was what I was meant to do; I cared about him a great deal, but we- we weren’t meant for each other. I don’t love him like I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”

“I don’t want you to be saying this just because you just broke up with him and you’re looking for a rebound or a safety net,” you admit, and she looks at you with a calculating gaze, understanding your hesitation, “I do love you, Dom, and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like, but I don’t want to be with you until you’ve had time to process everything that’s happening. You need time. You’re not in your right mind.”

Dominique swallows hard, nodding very seriously. Her gaze is intense as she watches you get back to making breakfast. Silence hangs in the air, strange, undefinable silence laced with emotions like static electricity. 

“Can I kiss you? Just once?” She asks, and you look at her over your shoulder, spatula in one hand, a warning in your voice when you say her name, “just once.” She promises, eyes wide and the barest of smiles on her lips. You could never say no to that smile. You turn down the stove for just a moment, and step up to the counter, leaning over it to meet her. 

Kissing her feels like coming home and freedom at the same time, and she’s warm when she brings her hand up to your cheek, humming with tentative joy against your lips. When you pull back, you let yourself linger, just inches from her, getting lost in her eyes, in her smile for the barest moment.

“Would you like me to make tea?” She asks, soft, grinning.

“Would love that,” you agree, a little breathless, stepping back to the stove. 

“I don’t...” she paused by the refrigerator, “I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to make sense of this, my whole life, I...”

“That’s why we’re waiting; if I’m not what you want, if you go a different direction, if you just wanna be single for a few years and end up meeting someone else, I’ll respect that,” you assure her, “but if I am what you want, Dom I’d wait forever for you.”

#dominique beyrand #roger taylor #dominique beyrand x reader #dominique beyrand imagine #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #queen imagine #queen fanfic #queen fanfiction #the angry lizard writes

[manjuhitorie]

HITORI-ESCAPE 2020 : Hitorie’s Free Concert Live Stream - December 7th 2020

In celebration of their newest single, curved edge, Hitorie streamed a full length concert! Setlist: Polaris Senseless Wonder Namid[A]me Garandou Mae Zero Banchi SLEEPWALK Loveless Gekijougai Talkie Dance Unknown Mother Goose Karanowaremono Ao curved edge In it they announced the release of a new album! Named... REAMP! Febuary 17th can’t come soon enough!!! It will even include songs written by not only Shinoda, but Yumao and ygarshy each as well! Concert report below:

Initial Impressions: ＊ SND’s shirt has Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe printed on it. ＊ He has a stageprompter to assist with lyrics as well. He struggles to hit the high notes but he nails the high octane power chords. wowaka used to wing when his would sing, so he would slip on his lyrics, and make silly faces, every other song live. I see SND is playing it safe, now that he’s the one in charge of the crazy lyrics!!! Prelude leading into... Polaris ＊SND gets riled up and turned thhe「誰も知らぬ明日へ行け　誰も止められやしないよ」lyric into a rowdy 「止められやしねえよ」 . Equivalent to “No one can stop us” being turned into “No once can fucking stop us” or so. Shinoda “We’re Hitorie, enjoy the show.” (This ‘Hitorie desu, yoroshiku douzo’ was always wowaka’s stock concert phase.) Senseless Wonder ＊”Woo-hoo”’s or unintelligible noises made in the riff music breaks. ＊Yumao sings the backup vocals.  ＊SND wiggles his foot on his Wah pedal to make the wonky sounds.

Intermissional MC

Shinoda “This marks the beginning of Hitori-Escape. We are called Hitorie. Everyone please stick with us.“Heavy breathing “Hold up. I jumping around too much right off the bat.. I jumped around too much... All I did was hip and hop around a little bit... Haah. I’m gonna drink some water, drink some water!” SND walks over to the amp where bottles lie atop then proceeds to take a big sip. Yumao also follows along with a drink. Yu and SND can be seen conversing, but only SND’s “You got that right.” can be heard. SND returns to the mic “Take a gander, everyone. Even Yumao-kun is already sweating as well. This sparkly sweat of ours.. We will try to deliver you guys our sweat at the highest quality we can offer, deliver it as much as possible.” While SND is talking Yumao makes signs, such as 2 fingers up, towards the staff. “Well then, let’s chug along. Enjoy the show everyone.” Namid[A]me ＊There’s bubble popping sound effects in the intro now! Yumao is in charge of this, see his MacBook + mixer (+ a handy setlist printout) setup on the table beside him. All with a music program open primed and ready... Right before the song you can even see Yumao click his computer as well! 

＊ Yumao sings backup vocals, the whole chorus has his deep voice echoing. The small amount of notes are so concise and moody live... ＊ SND tops the outro off with a “Wasshoi!” Garandou Mae Zero Banchi ＊ Melodramatic piano bit added before the intro. I wonder where this was sampled from... It sounds like SND uses his stereo chorus pedal for his part as well. Shinoda “Thank you.”

Intermissional MC

Shinoda “Uhm.. At the end of our previous live stream I had said ‘Next time we meet will be at the concert hall.’. Sorry, that was a lie... We’re meeting at a live stream yet again. We’re Hitorie, enjoy the show.” Yumao taps his cymbals gently to create the classic concert mood starter sound. SND “That, that’s good! That’s the stuff! That’s the stuff. Without that stuff I feel the silence responding to me.” He motions at the empty auditorium. “That stuff’s nice, nice. I guess ‘cause, y’know. ‘Cause you two have already been y’know. Performing in front of people.” Yumao, hits his cymbal, cue a “Bwaa~n” sound. SND “You can fool me with that shit. No ‘Bwaa~n’ will work on me. You had 2 whole opportunities in a row, yesterday and the day before.” (Referring to Yumao’s appearance in Touyama Nao’s anniversary concerts.) Yumao hits his cymbal yet again, cue a “Shwaaan” noise. SND scoffs “What a kind and swe~et reaction.” SND “I’m the only one. The only one here who hasn’t stood up in front of people. My only upcoming chance will be at ‘Countdown Japan’, at the end of the year. Then in January I’ll be doing our limited fan club concert at Shibuya WWX. Back to back. What the hell is up with this year? What the hell, huh? Huh!!!” SND playfully pounces in Yumao’s direction. Yumao hits his cymbal again. “You’re saving my butt with that. Thanks, truly. Alright. From here on I’m to bring you a few songs without a guitar, only a mic in my hands.” Yumao “1, 2, 3, 4” SLEEPWALK ＊ SND gets on his knees and wiggles to walk on the floor during music breaks, is he imitating a sleepwalker.. ＊ Ygarshy presses a pedal right after every song ends, presumably his tuner, to mute and prevent static. He strums and slaps with his fingers, no pick, for every song. SND “2020 is slowly nearing its end, but, what’s everyone’s opinion on love?” Loveless ＊BONK 

＊ Includes Shinoda flopping around on the floor, squatting like a yakuza, and an outro with SND and yg having a mini string instrument battle! They huddle together! Yumao pounds away! Gekijougai ＊ Additional nebulous intro.  ＊ Yumao is really worked to the bone in this banger! Featuring yet another more intense battle between yg and SND. SND “Alrighty! Ah. Where are y’all now? Where are y’all right now? It doesn’t matter where you are, just dance along to Talkie Dance!” Talkie Dance ＊ During the riff breaks SND chants  Soi! Yoisa! Soi! Hoisa!” Like wasshoi, these are traditional shouts primarily used by O-mikoshi carriers in JP festivals! SND really seems to enjoy using old-fashioned words in a stylish way. SND “Upon this ending year, this one is with love from wowaka!” Unknown Mother Goose “Sing along with me!” ＊ Per usual, Yumao and ygarshy both pitch in for the ‘Oh oh oh’ harmonies. “Sing, please!” ＊ The background vocals in the Unknown Mother Goose are also confirmed by the man himself to be “Give me love”. He had responded to someone with “Oh! You’re sharp!” when asked about it!

Intermissional MC

“Are y’all having fun? Me, I can’t stop sweating. Help me. I can’t stop sweaaating.” SND changes to a high tone voice, “Ah~ This is awesomeee. Methinks this is awesome but, but I gotta say, I’m the only one here who hasn’t had a chance to perform in front of people, no kap.” He returns to his normal tone. “I hold a grudge. I’m always the only one being fucking left outtt. I can't let go of my grudge.

At least look me in the eyes, guys. Ah, whatever. On New Year's Eve I’m gonna appear in Countdown Japan, I’m gonna! ...What does it feel like anyway, performing in front of people? What does it feel like, may I ask you fine young gentleman?” SND’s voice turns to demonic. “Oiiii. Don’t just fucking nod at me. Don’t make up some new common language. You’re over there using no words, bitch.” His voice returns to normal. “Well, whatever. Enough of that. It’s no use staying jealous forever.” Yumao taps his cymbals... “Don’t just fucking ‘clang clang’ either!” Yumao laughs. “You laughed, you laughed! You laugh: you lose, you!”, they all smile. “Uhm... On December 31st, New Year's Eve, we’ll be at Countdown Japan. Please come if you can, hope to see you there. Now then! Next year, I’m talking about next year, it will be the 7th year anniversary of our major debut. In celebration, and to kick off the new year, we have booked Roppongi’s EX Theater for two days, January 21st and 22nd,. This is all I can say for now. Details will be announced later. ...Now let me drink some water.” ygarshy is all done tuning and at attention. Yumao keeps making cymbal sounds to fill the empty space. “I... Today, here, is uhm, Yokohama’s Bay Hall. It’s the place where ‘Swallowtail’ was filmed. When we arrived this afternoon I saw the windows and practically screamed. It’s Yen Town Band! It’s where Glico sang ‘My Way’! I alone was freaking out. Noone was on board with me.. I’m all alone, yet again.... The camera zooms in on Yumao, “Don’t just smile! Don't just smile at me With that said. Our 7th anniversary hits next year! So, here is our very first song, which represents our beginning....” Karanowaremono Ao ＊ Many emotional spotlights.

Intermissional MC

SND “At long last, this time has come. Huh! Mister Yumao-san!” SND glares at him. “Perhaps I may revel in a sip of water as well. A sip of water!! ... By the way what time is it? Yumao, in reporter voice “It is currently eight thirty seven.” SND “I see, it’s eight thirty seven. That's crazy. So today, our new song released, as you folks may know. Our new song called curved edge was released. Did you give it a listen? If you haven’t then please do, but also, the music video for the song will be public today at 22 o’ clock, please enjoy it. That’s the immediate future. But let’s talk about the faaar future.... On February 17th will a new album be released. We made an album. curved edge is a song written by me, and naturally it will be included in the album as well but, that’s not all.” He wags his finger towards the others, “This wiggly windy head of brown-colored hair and, this other wiggly windy head of black-colored hair have even each written a song for it as well. The title is R-E-A-M-P, REAMP. To be released on February 17th. Keep your eyes peeled.” he tapped his temple as he said this, “Please!” Ygarshy bows. “Ahhh, we made it!” Shinoda starts coughing, “Excuse me. Coughing without covering my mouth is not good. I'll be careful. Ah, I’m so nervous. I’ve grown nervous this far in. Alright, this next one will be the final song. Thank you so much for bearing with us. We are Hitorie. As farewell, here is our new song. curved edge.

Text:

I have also written up the original Japanese quotes! Thank you Tamagotoji for the huge help! ORZ For those looking to follow along with the concert, or learn new words from them, or enjoy!! Please enjoy! 

https://www.evernote.com/l/AolVRKvLGRpFN6l0MApPe5xuRXQOI4kFeTg

Bonus tech lore

Disclaimer: Only old photos exist of their pedalboards exist, as the cameramen did a fine job of concealing them. Since there’s no new evidence of change, I’ll assume these old findings will serve as foundation for their current setups as well!

#hitorie #ヒトリエ

[jamielea81]

Conversations

Chapter 3

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing and fluff. I think that’s it.

A/N: Italics are internal thoughts.

Chapter 2

Deciding not to keep the fact the Chris texted you a secret from Scott, you quickly fired off a text to let him know about the exchange. He probably already knew. After all, he did give him your number. But just in case he didn’t know, you wanted to give him the heads up. Not that it would become a regular thing. Of course, it wouldn’t. Sure, the two of you texted for almost two hours last night, but it was probably a one and done kind of thing.

Y/N: Are you just passing out my number to random dudes now?

It was pretty early in the day for you to text him, but you were already at the venue for the Jonas Brothers concert and you weren’t sure what time you’d be home.

After grabbing a beer and picking out a seat in the press box of the arena, you grabbed out your trusty notepad and favorite pen and waited for the show to start.

The boys opened with Rollercoaster which got the crowd pumped, not that it took much to get the screams going. When they sang your favorite song Cool, you couldn’t help but sing along. You recorded yourself singing along with Nick to Jealous, sending it to Jana and then to Scott.

 With traffic, it was close to midnight before you got home. Changing into your pajamas and washing away today’s makeup, you fell into bed. Tomorrow was Sunday and you had nothing on the roster besides writing your review of the concert for Monday’s paper.

You were attempting to read a novel Brooks had recommended to you on your Kindle for the third time that week when your phone buzzed from the night stand.

Scott: Are you home?

Y/N: Yep. All snuggled into my bed.

Not five seconds after you hit send, your phone was ringing.

“Good evening Scott,” you answered.

“Hello Pavarotti. Who knew you had those pipes?” Scott greeted you.

“Pipes? Are you talking about my chest?” Fake shock in your voice.

“Har-har. Did you send your little video performance to my brother?” he asked.

“What? No. Why would I do that? It’s not like we’re friends or anything?”

“So, it was strictly business last night? He just texted to apologize and nothing else?”

Is he a mind reader?

“Well, no,” you hesitated. “But it’s not like I’ll hear from him again. He was just being nice.” You shrugged your shoulders even though you knew he couldn’t see you. You really needed a dog or something for times like these.

“We’ll see. How was the concert?” he asked.

“No. No. No. Let’s back up. What do you mean we’ll see? You can’t just change the subject like that on me.”

Scott chuckled through the receiver. “I just meant that my brother has a habit of not letting people go once he likes them. He said he thought you were funny.”

Hmm. Funny. That’s as good a compliment as any. Chris Evans thinks you’re funny.

You’d have to try really hard not to let that go to your head.

 Scott ended up being right, though you wouldn’t tell him that. Chris didn’t let you go. He technically didn’t have you, not that you would have complained, but he kept texting you. The two of you didn’t chat as often as Scott and you did, but it was more than you would have ever expected.

It started casually enough with him texting you a few nights after reaching out to you the first time.

Chris: It’s my right to be hellish, I still get jealous

Y/N: He sent you the video, didn’t he?

Chris: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

A day or two would go by and you’d get another text similar to the last. Just a random musing reaching out. You never initiated because you still weren’t sure what the two of you were. He was your friend’s brother and you weren’t one to push boundaries.

Chris: If you overnighted me a Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bar, what are the odds it would get to me not melted?

Y/N: Aren’t you in Cali? Can’t you just go to Disneyland or send someone to get you one?

Chris: Send someone 🙄

Chris: I’m in New York for Fallon

Y/N: Oh, fuck, that’s right. Don’t tell Scott I forgot.

Y/N: Most grocery stores sell boxes of the bars now by the way.

Chris: It’s not the same.

Y/N: You’re right.

Chris: Usually am sweetheart.

You’re stomach flipped at the nickname. You wouldn’t be telling Scott about this conversation. Nope, you’d keep that one to yourself.

 It was just after seven when you walked in your door, two grocery bags in hand and your phone ringing in your purse.

“Hold on. Hold on,” you called out as if the person could hear you.

Dropping the bags on the stovetop, your dug into your purse, grabbing your phone, catching the call on what was sure to be the eighth ring.

How many rings before it goes to voicemail?

“Hey Scott,” you answered out of breath.

“Hey Sassy,” he replies. You hear someone repeat the nickname in the background. Chris, maybe. You’re not sure. “Chris and I are having dinner with Jimmy and his wife, so I wanted to give you a quick call. Just wanted to let you know the show was completely a snooze fest, there is no need to watch it.”

“Don’t listen to him Y/N. Watch it. A few times maybe,” you hear Chris say in the background.

You hadn’t talked to him on the phone, only via text. It was kind of weird to hear him say your name. Sure, you exchanged a few words on the ride at Animal Kingdom, but this was…different.

You chuckled at their antics. “Jimmy and his wife. As if I’m on a first name basis with him. Cute,” you replied.

“I don’t know who else you know. You’ve got two Evans brothers as friends, who knows what other friends ya have,” he replied.

“You are a dork. I’ll be sure to watch tonight and give you my notes tomorrow. Have fun Grumpy. Say hi to the other dork for me.”

You hear him tell Chris what you said.

“Bye sweetheart,” Chris shouts.

There goes your stomach again.

“Bye sweetheart,” Scott mocks. You hear a muttered “shuddup” before the call disconnects.

Since the Tonight Show didn’t start until eleven thirty at night, you made sure to be ready for bed before it started. Pajamas on. Check. Teeth brushed. Check. Makeup off. Check. Glass of water on your night stand. Check. Cellphone on hand to harass Scott if need be. Check.

You sent a text to your friend April back in Minnesota to let her know Chris was going to be on. She was a huge Chris Evans fan with a Captain America merchandise collection that could rival any extreme collector. She of course already knew he was going to be on but thanked you anyway. She didn’t know about your new friendship. No. Acquaintanceship with Chris. No one did besides Scott, Jana, and Brooks. It was better to keep it that way.

Chris’ segment was great and you expected nothing less. Revealing that he spoiled the end of Endgame for Anthony Mackie was both funny and sweet. He looked good in his stripped shirt and navy blazer and you expected nothing less in that aspect as well, even if his white sneakers were a little too white for your liking.

When Scott joined Chris on stage to play “Know Your Bro”, you knew the segment was going be hilarious.

The audience as well as yourself were giggling after Scott told the story of Chris pushing him as a child, causing Scott to split his head open resulting in the need to get stitches.

“You know you pushed me. Listen,“ Scott said

“Yeah, but that was between us,” Chris replied, finding it hard to keep his laughter under control.

It was Chris’ turn to tell a story and it was one that you would be sure to bring up in the future. Scott had stomach issues when he was little and for lack of a better word, pooped his pants three times while out skiing with his family. This was not the story Scott expected. You were laughing so hard you were crying. It was great segment. You spent the better part of a half hour searching YouTube for past segments with the two of them.

Before calling it a night, you sent Scott a text knowing you probably wouldn’t get one back tonight.

Y/N: You two should hit the road together. Like a traveling two-man act. I’d pay top dollar to see this act in person!

To your surprise, you did get a text back.

Scott: You couldn’t afford us.

 Traffic was a nightmare with cars on the road at a virtual standstill and you weren’t exactly sure why. Traffic would move a little with your car reaching fifteen miles per hour and then the brake lights would all hit at once again. Really, on I-4 it could be anything causing this back up, but you usually were able to time your day so that you missed most of the congestion. You had a meeting at the office that you couldn’t be late for. Part of the agreement with planning your own schedule was that you had to be at the paper for meetings. This would be the second time you were late in the years you’ve worked there, but you weren’t sure if it was three strikes and you’re out kind of thing. Your phone started to ring, figuring it was the office, your answered it via your steering wheel since it was hooked up to Bluetooth.

“This is Y/N,” you answered.

“Hey sweetheart, it’s Chris.”

There goes your stomach again.

“H-hey Chris. What’s up?”

Chill out. Breath. This is cool. You are cool.

He had never called you before, so this was different.

“Not much. Just wanted to see how you were. Do you have me on speaker phone or something?” he asked.

“Um, kind of. I’m driving.”

“Oh, anywhere fun?”

“Nope, just to the office. What are you up to?” you asked, trying your best not to hit the person in front of you.

“Just hanging out in New York for another day. Not much. Scott disappeared on me, nothing new there.”

“Oh, yeah,” you said, clearly distracted from the stop and go traffic you were stuck in. “Fuck,” you swore under your breath.

Chris laughed out loud which brought you out of your haze. “You okay, Y/N?” he asked.

“I’m sorry. I’m going to be late for a meeting and am stuck in traffic. I really can’t be late.”

Chris didn’t say anything for what felt like a minute and you thought maybe you lost the call.

“What’s the address of your office?” Chris asked.

“Why?”

“Just answer the question Sassy,” Chris teased.

“Now you’re both calling me that?” you chuckled. “Um, it’s six three three North Orange Avenue.”

“How far are you?” he asked.

“Maybe fifteen, twenty minutes probably with this traffic,” you replied.

“I’ll call you back in a few,” he said, ending the call before you could reply.

“Well that was really freaking weird,” you said, turning the volume back up on the radio.

True to his word, Chris called you back about five minutes later.

“When you pull off the freeway, you need to go to five five seven East Amelia Street,” he said.

What?

“Chris, I don’t think you understand. I’m late for work. There’s no time to stop anywhere,” you said, clearly exasperated.

“It’s a bakery. There will be an order there under your name. It’s already paid for and they promised it would be all boxed up and ready for when you arrived.”

“I don’t understand. An order? Chris.”

“If you’re late for something, it’s best to show up with a peace offering. Just trust me sweetheart. Call me later,” he said.

“Okay. Um, thanks, Chris.”

“No problem. We’ll talk soon. Bye,” he said.

 You pulled into the bakery a few minutes later, sure enough, two twelve count boxes of cupcakes were waiting for you. One box was marked vegan. He really did think of everything.

Walking into the conference room was nerve racking to say the least. Your boss James eyed you but didn’t call you out. You set the boxes on the table before taking a seat. Once he finished his thought, you cleared your throat.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you licked your lips and steadied yourself for the lie. “I wanted to pick up a treat for everyone and it took longer than expected.” You stood up, and got to work opening the boxes. “Please help yourselves,” you said with a smile.

At the end of the meeting, everyone had a smile on their face, including James. There was one cupcake left, you grabbed it out of the box and walked it over to James.

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” you said, placing it in front of him and offering a wink while everyone cleared out of the room.

He offered you a smile before you turned to walk away.

It was just after eight when you picked up your phone to call Chris. You were nervous, so nervous. Even though he was the one to call you first, it was still nerve racking to call him. The two of you had been texting for a couple of weeks, but talking on the phone felt more intimate. Before you could change your mind, you clicked on his contact and the line was ringing.

“Heeeelllo,” he answered.

Immediately he put you at ease. “Hey, you dork,” you replied.

“How’d your meeting go?”

“Much better thanks to you. That was very sweet and really smart thinking on your part,” you said.

He scoffed. “You think so little of me?”

“Well, I was led to believe Scott had all the brains.” You couldn’t help the smile on your face.

He scoffed again. “Wait a minute. Where do you get off lady? Thinkin’ my baby brother has all the smarts. I’ll have you know, I read.” Boston accent on full display.

You started to crack up. You tried to get your breathing under control, but it was coming out as wheezing. He started to chuckle and you shook your head.

“I apologize. Truly. Please forgive me sir.”

“Fine. Fine. As long as you never doubt me again,” he said.

“Never.”

 You went to bed with a smile on your face that night and woke up with one as well. Chris was your friend. As strange as that was, it was true.

Unplugging your phone from the charger, you saw you had a couple of texts from Chris.

Does he ever sleep?

Chris: 'Cause you're too sexy beautiful           And everybody want to taste, that's why, that's why           I still get jealous

Chris: Heading to LA. Have a good day sweetheart.

Chris was your friend. Yep. He was just your friend and you needed to remember that.

Chapter 4

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