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danswideslit · 25 days

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slime video analysed thru horror with a queer pov

kay it gets its own post because im stil aaa bout it

This is just what I remember/was able to brush up on, since I studied this in 2019, so if anything is outdated I apologise, feel free to correct me, I love to learn!!

also I realized it has all become a lil rambly as I couldn’t contain my excitement soz

So this is my essay on the parallels of queerness in the horror genre and how DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime (2024) could be analysed in this light, especially given the creators’ personal history with the topic.

Among the classic tropes of the horror genre, is the topic of losing ones innocence.

Most emphasised is the loss of ones virginity, as a synonym for the innocence, although the innocence as such has many forms. As mentioned in Scream (1996), you may not survive if you have sex, if you drink/do drugs, or if you claim to “be right back” or in other ways investigate to satisfy your own curiosity.

The parallels to the christian church and societal norms are already obvious. If you deviate from the path of purity, it will lead to death and suffering. The only way to survive the night, is to stay pure. Do not be tempted by mere curiosities, for they will be the death of you, essentially.

In the same light, Baphomet is most often portrayed with characteristics from both the male and female human anatomy, and can be used as a metaphor for the inherent evil of gender expressions beyond the societal norm.

In the same light, monsters in various movies are often shown with a deviance in gender and/or sexuality. This role of ‘sexual outsider’ has, for years, been a symbolism that queer people have connected with. The has only further skewed the ‘stay pure’ narrative, as it brings on an ambience of kill or be killed. An either/or of sorts. But it has also made monsters and villains walk the line between sexy and terrifying, which naturally leads people to be enticed. We are sexual creatures afterall.

Often the monsters have an aura of masculine energy, as they make people cower, and the stereotypical jocks abandon their hardcore exterior. This, on one hand birthed the “the boyfriend is the killer” trope, but it also gave way for diving into morality, how many crimes can a villain get away with, as long as the character resonates with the audience.

This is demonstrated in Jennifers Body (2009) which was, at first, marketed to the male audience, making the monster Jennifer an attractive young woman, essentially getting the film marked as “Twilight for boys” by film critic Robert Ebert.

The ratings, however, were lackluster and claimed the movie was neither funny nor scary and thus was unsuccessful. Jennifer wasn’t “as hot as you’d hope she’d be” and essentially the “lesbians-for-the-male-gaze” marketing to boys 17+ failed.

However, many women and young girls between 17-25 saw the character of Jennifer as empowering and resonated with the film. My theory is that the men did not like being the victim, being killed my something that they are supposed to be worse than. But the women saw a strength in the conflict between what is essentially two sides of the same existence - on one hand the rage of the injustice and gender inequality, and on the other hand Needy, who follows every character trope connected to the “last girl standing.” Except even she is tainted in the end, killing Jennifer and losing her innocence. (more talk about innocence, murder/virginity bla bla bla, okay but this essay aint about that)

All this plays a role in how the queerness of DanAndPhilCRAFTS - slime (2024) can be interpreted. Throughout all four installments of the narrative, Dan is seen being guided by Phil and scolded when he doesn’t do it right. Phil seems not at all surprised when Dans glitter face turns satanic, and by the third video, Phil hands the control over as he gives himself away.

Essentially, the indoctrination of Dans role in Phils devotion is cult-like. Cults are often hidden behind a facade of “found family” before the true behind-the-scenes terror is revealed. Dan is evidently comfortable in letting a more experienced person guide the way, despite his own hesitance. He knows that he cant do this halfway.

also the idea of Phil rising from the dead, during Easter… Jesus Christ, where would we even begin (lol)

But beyond that symbolism, It is the hesitance in Dans nature that seems to point to the “purity being tainted” horror trope. Phils devotion to Him is evident, but Dan seems more so to be devoted to Phil. A follower. Believing whatever Phil believes to be true. A Billy and Stu, Scream situation, if you will. The subtext of two lovers and the blurred lines of love and death, which has been analysed and discussed a whole while by smarter people than me.

Dans hesitance to follow Phil guiding him to the other (queer) side. The penetrative stab and the menacing disarray of emotions on Dans face afterwards. This was anything but a selfish act, but he gave into the curiosity, he is not the last survivor, he has joined Him. This ritual was giving into love, without trying to contain, rationalise, or diminish any part of it.

(Kind of how like dan, selfproclaimidly, would still be a ‘Daniel in denial’ if Phil hadn’t come into his life, because Phil ‘led him astray’ but he’s very okay with it and he has embraced it, and he’s happier giving in instead of fighting it?? Too far??)

#dan #phil #dan and phil #dnp #daniel howell #amazingphil #danandphil #dan howell #dandandphilgames #danandphilcrafts

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ivesambrose · 1 year

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𝕽𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 🖤🔪⛓️

1. 2. 3.

As promised to the ones who were wronged and I mean it, severely wronged not a 'they were mean to me once' neither a 'I was the problem but I'm gonna pretend they're the villian of the story',

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of bullying, abuse etc

"how badly are they gonna get fucked up after this."

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]

♦️ More pick a cards ♦️ Paid Services ♦️

Thank you for the tip 🌿

Picture 1

They were a bully weren't they?

A self righteous hero in their narrative. Someone who simply, "says it like it is." But the intentions are your downfall rather than just an act of care or 'tough love' making you second guess yourself constantly. Perhaps a gaslighter or even physically violent/would threaten you as well perhaps.

Some of you may have felt like you'll never be able to progress and move forward in your life and your plans. Some of you feel like a machine sometimes trying to prove your worth but it's never enough.

I keep hearing, "I wanna go. I wanna go. I don't belong here this isn't my place."

For you, rest assured you'll boldly venture into the unknown and succeed.

They however,

Can say goodbye to peace and balance in their life and their health. Constantly struggling internally to the point it starts showing on their face. I think some of these individuals peaked at a certain point of their lives (you know the ones who peak in highschool and think they run the show) I see them reminiscing how they looked like before or the attention they got before. I see them feeling stuck in one place and not being able to make progress. If this is someone who would bully you for your physical looks they'll have a severe glow down. If this is someone who cheated on you then they get a taste of their own medicine but worse. In some cases I'm seeing even more severe loss and maybe even trying to make amends with you because suddenly you're more successful or better off without them. I honestly see a lot of regret on their part but some of them may not have the guts to admit the same.

Picture 2

This may have either been a liar or straight up emotionally abusive and controlling. I do sense some of them have been physically or sexually abusive as well. The image I'm getting is someone treating you like their puppet or thinking they have a right over you.

Some of you may have felt or believed that you can't do better than this neither deserve better than this. They made your question your very worth and reality and you often took pity or emphatized and continued to forgive and go back to them.

I'm also seeing for some, that this could be someone who keeps you around for their convinience like you're their emotional crutch.

For you, there are is a light at the end of the tunnel you've walked out of.

For them,

Literal unseen disruptions that shake the very core of their ego, stability and power. Maybe even their career declining to nothing. Legal troubles as well and finding out that those they have trusted or considered their friends don't really care about them either. For someone so selfish and constantly stuck in their narcissistic victim mindset this would be a heavy blow and all I see them doing is throw a child like tantrum.

Picture 3

I believe you attract jealousy, envy, stalkers and maybe even people who need to match the effort you put for them but find an excuse to slack.

I believe that you are aware of your power, this awareness has come after years of being shunned, talked down on and made fun of.

You may have a list of people adding up (it's giving Kill Bill) who have literally just put you down, taken you for granted, betrayed you and it's all piled up almost because I do see a lot of you are rather forgiving or try to understand the other person.

Oftentimes you can care less because you know if someone does you wrong in any shape or form and it's unwarranted then may God help them.

I don't feel you actively seek vengeance.

You seem like a creative soul, perhaps you channel your pain into art or other things that can benefit you or others. But scars in your heart remain.

For you, I see recognition, fun and good money/stability in life.

For those who have wronged you or wish you harm,

Anxiety, the kind that feels like they are in the middle of a circus show and someone asked them to do the sword swallowing trick at gunpoint. Financial loss, having people backstab them or abandon them.

On a more personal note I see that you get the last laugh in this situation.

Few of you could also be witches? A handful of you I'm seeing. So your words could literally be hexes.

#free readings #tarot community #divination community #pick a card #PAC #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a picture reading #tarot readers #psychic readings #psychic reading

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heraldofcrow · 3 months

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Do you have any specific neurodivergent headcanons for bb characters by far?

Yep!! Sorry for the wait on this, I was adding to it little by little.

Without further ado—

Wait, I forgot, I need to clarify something. I don’t really believe neurodivergence refers strictly to autism and ADHD like many often try to say, so with that in mind, my answers might be more varied.

• Rom

Rom is my main headcanon for neurodivergence in Bloodborne because I suspect something is up with her basically being called the “mentally disabled spider” in Japanese, while also having been the only person in Bloodborne to have ascended. With that in mind, I see her as an autistic savant. Perceived as a fool due to stunted outward development, but a genius beyond what others could even understand.

• Laurence

This one is maybe odd, but I have Laurence as someone with bipolar disorder and autism. I don’t have some in-depth explanation for this one other than it fits with the character I wrote for him.

• Gehrman

Clinical depression, like from the time he was a really small kid. He was just different from the start and saw far more than he should have. He was never a very hopeful or upbeat person.

• Bloody Crow

I write Crow with severe psychosis that stems from schizophrenia. There are signs of him being autistic as well, but his schizophrenia is the main thing he struggles with. It is NOT what makes him a villain later on, but when his delusions get out of control and trigger his mania…well, you don’t want to pair it with hatred and anger. Sadly, Crow is overflowing with both.

• Micolash

Micolash was not brought up in an environment where he was able to develop empathy for others, so he was always a bit sociopathic. This wasn’t actually much of a problem for years though, because he tried and learned via others about socalization and interpersonal relations. Sociopaths are not inherently dangerous and neither was Micolash. He was a decent person for a long time.

However, tragedy always strikes, and darker emotional issues and beliefs were what allowed Micolash to eventually weaponize his own sociopathy, committing worse and worse atrocities without feeling the pain of his victims. I like to imagine he was fully aware of how he thought about the process. The problem wasn’t his lack of empathy, it was his choice to utilize it in an evil manner.

• Adeline

Adeline has both Borderline Personality Disorder and clinical depression. The traumatic experiences in her youth left her with a lot of unresolved emotional tension, poor kid.

• Maria

I have her as Crow’s biological sister, so as siblings, they both actually struggle a bit with the same mental challenges. Maria doesn’t really have schizophrenia like her brother, but she experiences severe bouts of depression that can lead to hallucinations and psychosis. She also deals with extreme memory loss at times and heavy PTSD.

• Ludwig

Ludwig has ADHD but people can’t really tell because he is hard on himself about keeping his focus intact. People like Maria absolutely notice his struggle and his periods of low self-esteem. He is too tough on himself :(

• Eileen

This one is actually my favourite headcanon, but Eileen has DID and has at least one other alter that she formed when faced with a horrifically traumatic event as a child. Her alter is a stiff, austere military officer-type, who is comfortable with emotionlessness and treating Eileen’s line of work as a task that must be completed.

Eileen’s alter is harmless and she is aware that she is different in this sense. It’s actually what draws her to Bloody Crow, who is already so terrified of his own mind that he finds comfort in knowing his mentor and mother-figure is not too different.

—

Some of these might change, but I am happy with most for now. I love psychology and studying it, so I think of it as a worthy challenge to try to write characters with unique mental states and accurately so. It can be a little scary because I know people really care about how several of these mental illnesses are depicted, but hopefully I am not screwing anything up too much. 😅

#thanks anon!#hope you like these #i know and have known people with almost all of these disorders so it feels kinda personal writing them tbh #asks #anonymous #bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons #neurodivergent headcanons #rom the vacuous spider #gehrman the first hunter #laurence the first vicar #lady maria #bloody crow of cainhurst #saint adeline #micolash host of the nightmare #ludwig the holy blade #eileen the crow

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crowncrown · 11 months

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MORE GENLOSS BRAINROT LETS GOOO

!!!MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!!

Generation loss’s ending is so incredible I can not STAND IT OH MY GOD I need to write out my thoughts before my brain explodes because I haven’t been able to think about anything else since.

The first episode was an absolute curveball to everyone who’s been keeping up with the spooky ranmail and everything and I’m not gonna lie I was a little nervous about what this show was really gonna be when I was watching it. But the thought process it took behind every detail to make something so goofy actually be horrifying once you understand the context of the next two episodes WAS BRILLIANT. Every piece of the puzzle just adds more and more to the storyline and it makes me want to dissect every detail of the vods for hours.

But I think the most bone chilling part of this-very intentionally I must add- is the final sequence. We witness every one of the characters sacrifice themselves for GL!Ranboo and GL!Slime isn’t any different spending his last breaths being killed by the wire creature (for lack of better words) to make sure Ranboo hits the finish line. But as soon as you feel any level of triumph you realize that Slime is just like Sneeg in the episode before sacrificing himself to ensure the show goes on.

Because it was never about the hero.

Ranboo isn’t special. He’s just another pawn in the game with the illusion of being the protagonist to make it more interesting for the desensitized viewers watching these people die over and over.

He was never meant to win.

And then that leads to us.

The audience.

Given the illusion of choice.

Do you publicly execute this man? Or do you let him live to be tortured the rest of his miserable existence until he is inevitably killed by Showfall for breaking the rules. If you spare him, is it a fate worse than death? We fight with this moral dilemma, trying to decide if it’s our decision whether people live or die.

But he’s a murderer! He killed people and showed no remorse! Showfall metaphorically whispers in our ear that he earned this fate for the terrible actions he committed. But was it him? Did he have any control over the actions he committed throughout the show or is he a victim?

He begins begging to be let go. To just escape from this snare he never asked to be trapped in the first place. The audience heavily leans towards letting him live because maybe being alive in this horrible show is better than the execution. But he knows that was never an option for him. He watches as a cartoony figure jokes about his demise and a audience poll decides his fate. And in that moment he realizes his choices were never his own.

So he gives up.

Begs to just be put down because being part of the cast means he will hurt more and more people the way he’s been hurt. That he will be the cause of more and more pain, and very likely more murderers.

And the audience decides death is the best route for him to take.

Maybe he died believing this is his fault. That the audience decided he should be dead for the horrific things he chose to do. But did he ever really choose?

His story was a tragedy before he could even pick up the pen.

And then there’s Showfall. Once again the ever present voice in our ear. Whispering that we are just the same as he is.

You just chose to murder a man. Is that not any different than him killing the innocent to progress in this game? Showfall now has the audience in the same grip as the man in the guillotine.

Your story as an audience is a tragedy long before you will ever pick up the pen.

#crown drabbles:)#genloss brainrot #genloss #generation loss #ranboolive #looking way too deep into things because it’s late at night #Ranboolive is rotting my brain

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kotamagic · 4 months

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This week's Lore Olympus is PACKED, so strap yourself in, cuz shit's getting wild!

Starting off with Hebe, who ran to the Mortal Realm at Apollo's horrible suggestion. Immediately, she notices that something is very, VERY wrong there. It's not Spring, Summer, or Winter, but something in-between.

Today, we would call it Fall or Autumn, but given her reaction, that wasn't a thing in those days. Additionally, the scale of seasons is way off by her count. If the four seasons are split evenly across the span of the year, they'd be 90 days/3 months apiece.

Winter? Only five days? Pfft, I wish!

On another important note, the mortals are dying of plague. Starvation could absolutely be part of it. This is big trouble for the Olympians...

I had made a comparison in one of my previous LO posts to @neil-gaiman 's American Gods. In that narrative, the Gods wither away and die if there us no one to worship them. It seems not too different with what Hermes is saying here. No believers, no powers, no existence.

Apollo REALLY wants to get murdered at this meeting, doesn't he? Where's Psyche so that she can shoot his ass again?

(Fuck, she's in Leto's prison right now, damn it.)

Apollo's got a lot of nerve pointing fingers when he hasn't done jack-diddly-squat-shit to help. Hell, a big portion of this fuck-fest is his fault to begin with!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HELP WITH THE KRONOS PROBLEM, APOLLO? OH, THAT'S RIGHT! NO SUN GODS ALLOWED IN THE UNDERWORLD.

Even if he could go to the Underworld, he'd just be a train wreck there as well. Honestly, before Ouranos was revealed to be the one helping Apollo, I would've suspected Kronos to be the culprit. Not sure which is worse.

Let me be clear. I have had A LOT of complaints about Demeter in Lore Olympus. The toxic, controlling behavior made me hate her because I have experience with someone much like her. And to be fair, Demeter still sits on my shit list.

But...

She has finally taken some difficult steps. She went to therapy with Persephone to try fixing their unhealthy relationship. She is struggling hard to be better, and it isn't a TOTAL loss.

This moment here, where she gets in Apollo's face, gives me another crumb of hope for her. First, she attacks his blatant disrespect of Persephone. (True, she has done plenty of her own, but I feel her putting a stop to it here is an important step forward.) Second, she voices how much she is against Apollo being anywhere near Persephone. I'm still not sure if she knows Apollo SA'd Persephone; I think that if she did, she'd be doing much worse than pulling his cape over his head.

Oh, hi Eris! It's been a hot minute since the last time that we saw you! Is this a mental conversation just between you and Apollo? The arrow through the chest bit brings back memories.

Part of me is confused as to why she appears to be beside Persephone in the Underworld in the 3rd shot. Maybe it's a visual in Apollo's head as well? The line "That sounds like something you would do." comes across as her saying it to Apollo, but for Persephone to hear.

Artemis already knows about what happened to Persephone. Her finding out that Apollo poisoned Zeus would NOT come off as farfetched to her at this point.

The blatant, unfiltered disrespect to Hera here is horrific. Hera has NEVER rested on her laurels for what she did to bring down Kronos. She has been mentally and emotionally suffering in silence for millenia. Persephone and... Hestia, I think? have worked to support her and lift her out of her depression. It has helped, but Hera still has a long way to go.

This fucknugget has BEYOND the FUCKING AUDACITY to not only put down the Queen of Olympus, but stab her where it hurts the most.

I hope that when everything falls apart for Apollo, he suffers HORRIBLY and for an extremely long time. I want him to suffer so badly that he begs for mortality and is DENIED so that he KEEPS suffering, just as his victims have suffered. ARGH!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my LO post!

#lore olympus #lo apollo #lo hades #lo persephone #lo hera #lo hebe #lo demeter #lo eris

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patronsaintofteachercrushes · 2 months

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3/7

get ready, it’s a long one. and it’s probably not what any of you want to hear. sorry for any mistakes, i’m too lazy and upset right now to fix them.

truthfully ? i’m not sure what’s going on. i did what i said i would, talk to him whenever possible. but today was just different. H was all up on this other girl in my class and i just couldn’t take it. i wanted to command all his attention onto me but i just couldn’t, he wouldn’t let me sway him.

i hate him in times like this, because he knows how to resist. he knows how to say no, when things get to be too much. he knows how to react and that’s something i can never be comparable to. he’s so much better than me at everything and i know it just comes with being his age and me being my age but it’s driving me absolutely crazy. the age difference really never bothers me, it’s something that i enjoy like i’ve wrote on here before, but its this. i cannot catch up to him no matter how desperately i try to. he knows so much that i don’t, he knows about the things that really matter.

on days like this it’s hard to remain hopeful. he said something today that absolutely obliterated my fantasy. it made me remember he’s never going to actually love me and something about that was particularly devastating today. (it hurts every day of course, the constant feeling that i am wasting precious time with him, that our relationship exists mostly in my head, that i am just one out of the 100+ students he sees everyday.) and foolishly, i cried. i cried in class. in front of him. and i couldn’t stop. i would try to take a deep breath and work myself down but i couldn’t. each time i’d inhale and hold it in my chest, the silence there would sneak up on me and the tears would rip down my face again. and to make it all worse, he saw. he saw me sitting there, losing control over all the things i had been working so hard to keep a hold on, and he watched me. he saw the wetness glisten on my face with the sunlight coming through the window in front of me, and continued his conversation with that girl. i’m not exactly sure looking back now what would’ve been worse, him asking me why i was so distraught (because i would’ve had to lie and have the truth splayed all over my face) or him to just ignore me.

i’m really at a loss now about it though, and i know i’ve said that a million times before. but this might be the biggest loss i’ve taken so far. and for that girl, it all seems so effortless. everything i do around him is done with the utmost intent. i cannot breathe without thinking of how i might be appearing towards him. i know a couple of people who have crushes on their teachers now, but their crushes in comparison to mine are extremely different. theirs still feel fun and innocent, meanwhile mine feels like a black mold consuming every inch of my soul. there’s something evil growing in my rib cage and spreading everywhere. its hard to explain, but i feel like maybe i’m a bad person. i know somewhere deep down, this girl isn’t in love with H like i am, i know she thinks nothing of their interactions besides maybe a mild likeness. and that’s not me at all.

when you look at just the facts of H and i’s relationship, it sounds horrible. a 51 year old man and a 16 year old girl. a teacher and his student. a girl lusting over a married man. and i know that to everyone else outside of this perfect circle i’ve created for myself sees me as a victim. but i don’t feel that way about myself at all, in fact i feel much more closely aligned with the perpetrator. the villain. the predator. the possibility of H not returning my feelings towards him even a little bit is so grand that really i would be the one in the wrong. i mean i’m fucking losing my goddamn mind over here and all he’s doing is being nice to a misguided young girl.

and yet, despite my overwhelming self awareness, i’m delusional enough to hold onto that tiny piece of hope that maybe just maybe there’s more than he’s letting on. i suppose that’s all i have to do now. keep hoping. either that or i give up entirely. but i’m naive (if not selfish) enough to cling to that sliver of a chance. so here i am.

when i got home and looked in the mirror, i had distinct streaks of tears on my cheeks, it felt like a big damning slap.

#xi’s diary #i think i’ve lost it entirely #female student #male teacher crush #male teacher x female student #tc community #tc feelings #student x teacher #tc blog #tc love #teacher crush #teacher x student

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violetfutures · 7 months

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SISSY BOONE INTRO

Please welcome GENESIS RUTHANNE PHILOMENA "SISSY" BOONE ( THE PARACOSMIST ) to Huntsville, WV. She is a 22-year-old RESIDENT who lives in TOWN. You may see her around UNEMPLOYED FOR NOW. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if she survives.

BASICS

Birth: May 1 Preferences: Unknown (Demi-bisexual) Height: 5′1″ FC: Sofia Bryant Status: Alive

BIOGRAPHY

(tw; death, child death, pregnancy, religion, car accidents)

Chapter 1 Chester Boone and Magdaline Jones met in school and fell rapidly in love--which brought Sissy soon after. Being teenagers that didn’t quite know how to navigate the world yet, Sissy’s first few years were under Pete Boone Sr.’s roof until one night, her grandpa and her uncle got into an argument. The week after, the three were into a home of their own, soon to welcome a fourth. She began to grow up a little odd as she got old enough to form her own interests: bugs became her favorite thing in the whole world, and her hyperactivity and regular daydreaming knew little bounds. She’d pay little attention in school, more interested in disrupting classes to say bug facts to the teacher, or to simply distract her friends in their learning--while somehow managing to do perfectly fine despite her low effort. This continued until February of 2011, when her family got into a car crash on the way home from a day outside of Huntsville, which killed her parents. Her sibling never had their body found despite the woods being searched. It was in the hospital where she re-met her uncle, him being the only family they’d been able to find. Rusty Craven and his husband Lee adopted her, brought her back to Huntsville. With all the change, and still mourning the loss of her parents, Sissy fell into a deep depression, though it was helped by Rusty and Lee. It only grew worse when the paradox began, sending the eleven year old spiraling into a sense of control that she could have, her fashion. Sissy started to wear black and act angsty, a cloud hanging over her.

It wasn’t until Lee’s passing while she was in high school, until after he’d been buried and she’d been mourning him--that suddenly she returned to wearing colors, and her usual happy-go-lucky attitude returned for more than just fleeting moments. Truthfully, it had been because Rusty had been so sad at losing his husband, she had felt like she needed to be a ray of sunshine for him. But, it never went away--she happily galivants around town jumping into dumpsters to find trash to put into her art, bothering her friends, playing the piano at the church, or even running off into the woods to gather food and supplies. She still finds herself being hit with pangs of sadness or stress that she doesn’t care to speak about, whiling the feelings away by losing herself in food experiments. She figures there’s too much sadness in town. At least she could do her best to be strong for others.

Chapter 2 The start of the year was an exciting time, the 22 year old Sissy ready to face what would come with her family and friends, only to have everyone's world shatter with the beginning of intentional deaths in their little community. Still, despite the sadness, it didn't quite hit Sissy until one of her best friends was the victim. Gia's death in April brought out secrets--that the girl had been pining over Sissy for years, something Sissy had been unaware of, but ultimately returned. She started to wear her friend's clothes, started to rebel in her own ways, leading to a rift between herself and Rusty. It was during her mourning that she grew closer to her friend Cyan, the two beginning a situationship of sorts at the start of May over the loss of someone they both had a love for.

That leads to now: As of October, Sissy is 5 months pregnant, 3 months unemployed, and 1 month calling Cyan her boyfriend when asked. It's been hard, emotionally. While her bond with her uncle and her partner feels stronger than ever, she's been far too cooped up inside for her and her baby's own safety, and has never felt more distant from the town she's called home, from the townspeople she once considered family. She's hoping things turn out for the better, but with the new wave of deaths and her old coworker siding with the monsters, with snowy weather on the horizon, and with her own emotions raging inside of her, Sissy wants nothing more than to just stay hidden.

Other Information

She wears beads in her hair, braided in amongst curls--often handmade beads, or beads found long ago in dumpsters.

She keeps her hair loose otherwise, framing shoulders that wear her late friend Gia’s clothes or her own colorful apparel depending on the day.

She knows a lot of facts about nature, and often daydreams about the world and all its beautiful sights away from cities, outside of her hometown.

She has a pet tarantula that she got pre-paradox named Itsy.

While she once worked at the church and tried to be a good Catholic, she has since parted ways with religion, finding it hard to believe in a God that could let innocent people suffer.

She has undiagnosed autism with a special interest in--you guessed it!--bugs and nature.

She has one piercing in her septum, that she got early in her adulthood, and one tattoo of pillbugs on her leg, given to her by Cyan.

#huntsvilleintro

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aronarchy · 1 year

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https://twitter.com/butchanarchy/status/1622644997127274531

Okay fine I’ve seen enough of it at this point that I’m going to take a swipe at the idea that bdsm is somehow inherently abusive because it can contain acts of physical force. 🧵

Firstly, abuse can and does happen in bdsm scene just as it does in a vast majority of social groups in our society. This thread is not a denial of that reality, but instead a challenge to the idea that there is something inherently abusive about bdsm.

Secondly, I do not consider the realm of sexual desire as a realm to be uniquely protected from analysis and critique. Our desires are profoundly influenced by our social conditions and context, and that is worthy of exploration imo.

However, the reductive takes I’ve seen that just blanketly state that all bdsm is patriarchal abuse are not what thoughtful analysis looks like, they show a deep misunderstanding of what abuse is and how it functions, and are even operating on some inherently patriarchal values.

Bdsm is, to my view, ultimately one of the many forms sexual play can take. As such I don’t think it is actually much different conceptually than other non-sexual forms of play that include physical force like, say, a (non-sexual) wrestling match, or even a punk show mosh pit.

Wrestling matches and moshing are both activities that include physical force of some kind. We don’t typically label them, however, as being “inherently abusive” exactly because of the context they are imbedded within that ultimately make them forms of play.

In a safe mosh pit like in a good wrestling match like in a boundaried bdsm scene there are established norms and practices that allow people to opt into an experience of receiving/applying physical force while being ultimately kept safe by the other participants.

In safe social scenes of all kinds you can also withdraw consent: you can step out of the bounds of the mosh pit and enjoy the show without being assaulted further, you can withdraw from the wrestling match, you can say no or use and established safe word and the scene will end.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t scenes in which the above is not true. If you are being coerced into participating in a wrestling match, under terms that make you feel unsafe, and you expect to be punished if you do not comply, that is a situation we could call abusive.

Notice, though, that it’s not the basic act of wrestling, even though that act does include physical force, that characterizes the abuse in the above scenario. It is the context of control, one’s loss of autonomy and the ability to set boundaries, that makes it abusive.

The role that physical force plays changes between the safe wrestling match and the coerced one. In the former, participants fully opt in, understand what to expect, feel protected by others, know the safe paths to withdrawing their consent, and generally enjoy the experience.

In the latter, the coerced participant will feel the physical force as a violation. Not only that, but the physical force in the coerced situation will likely operate as an enforcing factor that pushes the victim the submit to the coercive context for fear of being hurt worse.

Abuse is not characterized by individual acts of force/violence. An abuser may hit their victim, but a survivor may hit their abuser to defend themselves. When you are only characterizing abuse by the use of physical force, it becomes impossible to know who the abuser really is.

Abuse is, instead, characterized by a broader context of domination and control. It’s not just the use of physical force, but the use of physical force in a context in which the victim’s general autonomy is constrained and co-opted by the abuser(s).

Often, physical force or violence is not even necessary to create an abusive context. There are many other tactics that can be deployed to create an environment of coercive control in which the victim cannot safely opt-out, set boundaries, or express their autonomy.

I believe that the folks who try to characterize bdsm as “inherently abusive” fall into the trap of characterizing abuse as simply a matter of physical force, which not only casts some survivors as abusers for defending themselves, but makes many others entirely invisible.

Additionally, that folks would characterize bdsm as inherently abusive but other not scenarios in which physical force is present like wrestling, mosh pits, boxing, hockey, (insert a large variety of other sports here), etc. reveals underlying patriarchal values about sex.

Patriarchal values that characterize sex as something that must be inherently/uniquely humiliating to women, even when they consent. That denies the ability of marginalized genders to express their agency and consent to what they want while still having boundaries.

When you characterize something like bdsm as “inherently abusive” you both trivialize the actual dynamics of abuse AND you make it even more difficult for people who are experiencing abuse in bdsm scenes to be able to articulate it and challenge it.

Because “bdsm is inherently abusive,” while deeply untrue, is exactly what abusers in those scenes argue for to defend their abusive behavior, and make their survivors feel like they have to choose between participating in a scene they enjoy and not being abused.

It is just as possible for being hit in the bedroom to be non-abusive as it is for being hit in a mosh-pit to be non-abusive. What makes it possible is the ability to opt-in and out at will and the presence of practices that keep the use of force within safe limits. That’s play.

Abuse can never be play, and for something to truly be play it cannot be abusive. Abuse steals and constrains agency. Play protects and expands it. Abuse breaks down boundaries. Play attends to and incorporates them.

#repost of someone else’s content #twitter repost #butchanarchy #abuse #kink discourse #pro kink #anti radfem

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serenamvstdie · 8 months

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the strange case of dr jekyll & mr hyde VS the picture of dorian gray

The topic these two novels center around is the way good and evil coexist within a person. More specifically, they are about what it would be like if they were to be separated, polarizing all of the good and all of the evil in two separate identities. “all human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil”. The difference is that in the picture of dorian gray it is not only a matter of morality, but one of external beauty as well. His second identity, therefore, shows in his appearance the consequences of all of the evil Dorian has done, while his alive self keeps his beauty, which hides his viciousness.

In both books there is another man, moved by affection, who tries to unsolve the mystery, in order to help a “friend” who they fear to be on the verge of derangement. But these two men are profoundly different: Mr Utterson is a determined man who doesn’t take no as an answer and won’t stop until he finds out who or what is tormenting his Jekyll. Basil Hallward, on the other hand, is a character who is in constant agony, tension and suffering for his beloved friend, who he is the biggest victim of. He doesn’t ever think about saving himself from Dorian, but dies to save Dorian from Dorian himself.

Dr Jekill and Dorian Gray have many differences as well, starting from the reason that leads them into this spiral of chaos: There is maturity and consciousness in jekyll’s actions, even though we cannot deny that this evolves into a complete loss of control. His intentions are good, but they get out of hand.

Dorian, on the other hand, starts off with evil intentions, and they will turn even worse as the story evolves. He acts out of fear and insecurity, and he dies of these same feelings. Both men die, killed by their evil side, who ultimately took over, but the way they get to this point is completely different. While jekyll takes curiosity way too far, and drowns in the attempt to go as deep as possible in the nature of the human being, Dorian suffocates on its surface, he tries to stay as away as possible from his own introspection, his feelings and even his thoughts, trying to restrain his paranoia until it ends up suffocating him. Jekyll dies out of a sense of responsibility: he knows he took it too far, he understands that he can’t live in that lie forever, and humbly surrenders. Dorian fights to the very end to keep his power and dies in this battle against himself.

Both men have a side of themselves that jekyll describes a “child of hell” who “ had nothing human, nothing lived in him but fear and hatred”. Fear and hatred is what they feed on, and eventually what they choke on. They live on the run, the run from people, from justice, from those who love them, from themselves, from their nature, from responsibility, and at some point they trip and collapse.

While Jekyll surrenders to Hyde, Dorian tries to defeat his alter ego. While jekyll knows that his alter ego is himself (“I learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both”) and that he must kill himself to kill hyde, Dorian thinks he can simply get rid of the painting and continue being untouchable, become undefiable. And that is what kills him: excess, exaggeration, always wanting more, never being satisfied, never feeling safe. He does not understand that he is the picture more than he is his body, or refuses to, and his blindness stabs him dead.

#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #robert louis stevenson #the picture of dorian gray #oscar wilde #queer #queer literature #gothic literature #english literature #essay

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mustcrdgreens · 1 year

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Please welcome GENESIS RUTHANNE PHILOMENA "SISSY" BOONE ( THE PARACOSMIST ) to Huntsville, WV. She is a 22-year-old RESIDENT who lives in TOWN. You may see her around working as a PIANO PLAYER AT THE CHURCH. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if she survives.

Birth: May 1

Preferences: Unknown (Demi-bisexual)

Height: 5′1″

FC: Sofia Bryant

Status: Alive

BIOGRAPHY (tw; death, implied child death/disappearance)

Chapter 1

Chester Boone and Magdaline Jones met in school and fell rapidly in love--which brought Sissy soon after. Being teenagers that didn’t quite know how to navigate the world yet, Sissy’s first few years were under Pete Boone Sr.’s roof until one night, her grandpa and her uncle got into an argument. The week after, the three were into a home of their own, soon to welcome a fourth. She began to grow up a little odd as she got old enough to form her own interests: bugs became her favorite thing in the whole world, and her hyperactivity and regular daydreaming knew little bounds. She’d pay little attention in school, more interested in disrupting classes to say bug facts to the teacher, or to simply distract her friends in their learning--while somehow managing to do perfectly fine despite her low effort. This continued until February of 2011, when her family got into a car crash on the way home from a day outside of Huntsville, which killed her parents. Her sibling never had their body found despite the woods being searched. It was in the hospital where she re-met her uncle, him being the only family they’d been able to find. Rusty Craven and his husband Lee adopted her, brought her back to Huntsville. With all the change, and still mourning the loss of her parents, Sissy fell into a deep depression, though it was helped by Rusty and Lee. It only grew worse when the paradox began, sending the eleven year old spiraling into a sense of control that she could have, her fashion. Sissy started to wear black and act angsty, a cloud hanging over her.

Chapter 2

The start of the year was an exciting time, the 22 year old Sissy ready to face what would come with her family and friends, only to have everyone's world shatter with the beginning of intentional deaths in their little community. Still, despite the sadness, it didn't quite hit Sissy until one of her best friends was the victim. Gia's death in April brought out secrets--that the girl had been pining over Sissy for years, something Sissy had been unaware of, but ultimately returned. She started to wear her friend's clothes, started to rebel in her own ways, leading to a rift between herself and Rusty. It was during her mourning that she grew closer to her friend Cyan, the two beginning a situationship of sorts at the start of May over the loss of someone they both had a love for.

That leads to now: As of the new year, Sissy is 8 months pregnant, 6 months unemployed, and 4 month calling Cyan her boyfriend when asked. It's been hard, emotionally. While her bond with her uncle and her partner feels stronger than ever, she's been far too cooped up inside for her and her baby's own safety, and has never felt more distant from the town she's called home, from the townspeople she once considered family. She's hoping things turn out for the better, but with the new wave of deaths and her old coworker siding with the monsters, with snowy weather making for cold, difficult transits, and with her own emotions raging inside of her, Sissy wants nothing more than to just stay hidden.

Other Information

She wears beads in her hair, braided in amongst curls--often handmade beads, or beads found long ago in dumpsters.

She keeps her hair loose, her pregnancy leaving it overtly fluffy and uncontrollable. Even haircuts don’t seem to tame it.

She knows a lot of facts about nature.

She has a pet tarantula that she got pre-paradox named Itsy.

While she once worked at the church and tried to be a good Catholic, she has since parted ways with religion, finding it hard to believe in a God that could let innocent people suffer.

She dreams of a day when she can go outside at night and look at the stars without the glare of a window or a ghost in the way.

She has undiagnosed autism with a special interest in--you guessed it!--bugs! She has one piercing in her septum, that she got early in her adulthood, and one tattoo of pillbugs on her leg, given to her by Cyan.

#huntsvilleintro

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folliathesilly · 5 months

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Romanticization

How Romanticization Ruins Pessimism

Most individuals have this idea that romanticization is this gorgeous thing that helps achieve true happiness, such as croissants for breakfast, or rose tea to pair with your dinner. Though, if you think about it, you’re romanticizing your own life, not life in general. Therefore, it becomes a practice of being as self-centered as humanly possible in a way that makes you ‘pretty’. Some people say it’s rooted in human nature to want a perfect life, and sure, maybe it is. However, it’s societal standards that produce our dystopian love for ‘coquette’ items, or a ‘lolita’ relationship. No one truly looks into the consequences since it seems to benefit their own ego. There are women who have been groomed into romanticizing abuse, or men who have been groomed into romanticizing hiding their emotions. This isn’t rooted in human nature, this is a social construct.

We teach ourselves to think optimistically, completely destroying the benefits to pessimism. OliSUNvia makes a good point in a commentary video of hers: “Do you really want your government to romanticize their workplace?”

Of course you wouldn’t. You’d like them to be as pessimistic as possible. Nor would you like your Amazon worker to talk walks with your package as a way of romanticizing their life. Instead you’d like fast delivery, and good service. Only you can experience this ‘true happiness’.

How Romanticization Ruins Relationships

When we’re in relationships that we romanticize, we expect our partner to be a conscious mind that would be happy to stay with us, but also be a possessed object that can’t leave. The narcissism that comes with a relationship can normally result in unintentional manipulation or emotional abuse. Sadly, most of the time it is very intentional, they just don’t want to admit it. I mean, even I wouldn’t want to admit that I’m self-centered enough to break my partner into submission, but I am aware that I’m capable of it, and that’s dangerous. The one that’s being broken down is usually aware that something is wrong, but makes up excuses about how they’ve gone through trauma, so it’s okay. Or, they’re just expressing their love differently, so it’s okay. Yet, once the broken becomes shattered, they’re aware that they may be too broken to leave, so they surrender. To the other partner, this makes them happy, this makes them think that the other truly loves them enough to drop everything. However, this isn’t love, this is obsession.

How Romanticization Is Unhealthy When It Comes To Mental Illness

Romanticizing depression. Every teenager does it at some point. That need for attention overrides any personal moral compass. You become willing to do anything for that attention that you say that you don’t deserve, but that you still ‘need’. You’ll do stupid things like write faux edgy journal entries, or maybe tell your therapist that you feel worse than you truly are. You want to be sad, you want to feel pain, not because it feels good, but because others pay attention. Romanticization is about being the main character, it’s about you. So, when you don’t get that attention that fulfills that need, you’ll do anything to achieve it. Whether it be playing the victim, or playing the abuser. What else does this do for us? It gives us control. The ultimate drive for any human is meaning. Everyone wants to have control, to have a true meaning in life. And how would you achieve that meaning? Pain. Being tortured by your own self, being a sacrifice to your own detriment, brings meaning. We take pleasure in knowing that the damage we have, makes us special. It gives us a cool title such as a “survivor,” or a “person who’s lived through hardships.”

How Romanticization Ruins The Knowing of Self

Once you’ve created this persona, this character, you begin to lose yourself in your new performance. You lose yourself in your makeup, your reputation, your lifestyle. You begin to romanticize this loss of self, you think that it’s good that you're molding yourself “out of the old, and into the new.” But slowly you begin to realize that your connections are fading, and you’re being, well, selfish. You then realize, it’s too late. You’ve already indulged too deep in the scented Target candles, and the aesthetic lifestyle for you. You’d never share this newfound plastic happiness with your mother, or best friend, cause it’s all for you. You’ve finally gotten what you deserve. And it feels great, doesn’t it? You finally have what your 8 year old self dreamed of. But you’re all alone, your romanticization has turned into a form of unhealthy stoicism. Though, it isn’t for you, is it? It’s for your character. It’s for this persona you’ve built up that has little bits and pieces of the true you that are slowly being leaked out into the void.

Thank you for reading ♥

#essay #unhealthy lifestyles can ruin relationships #romanticization

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showrunnerihardlyknowher · 2 years

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can I ask what you miss about 2019? i didn't join until last year...what was it like?

Long rant beneath

The community was just so much bigger than what it was now. There were so many creators pumping out stories and artwork left and right, everything was fresh and original, hell even with Sanders Sides running amok everything was a new concept because you could mix and matched like 8 personalities in any setting you wanted. Fearplay was a lot more popular, too. Everyone made something and everyone reblogged something

But now it's just...stale. It's the same five creators over and over again because everyone else either left on their own or were squeezed out of the community. Everything needed to be fluffy and wholesome, only soft hearted male giants or epic, badass giantesses. Fics can only be 1% angst and 99% comfort, and all of those things are just not my style.

"Well if you don't like it, create your own work" I did and I love Star Wars rip off so much, but pretty quickly once everyone else started leaving I was bled dry because I was one of the few fearplay authors left. If you want constant engagement, you have to post damn near daily, which I normally don't have the luxury of doing seeing as I work full time and write at least 10K

Not to mention the community itself is so clique-y, which I've said before. It's not those same 5 creators fault that they got so popular and everyone only flocks to them, they're just trying to make something that brings them and their friends joy, but I'm so tired of seeing the same fic/art 8 times a day on my dash. Especially when they're character types I already don't care for. And if you're not friends with those creators? Forget having your work seen outside of your mutuals, it's almost like you need those creator's stamp of approval saying "Yep, this is a good post because I like it!"

And I'll be honest, I used g/t as a way to cope with my sexual assaults and baby loss. I liked being able to create dark fics with big, oppressive forces and tiny, helpless victims as a way to vent through both POVs. I liked being in control of the concept of overpowering. And now it's like...that's not allowed. You get messages or comments telling you certain tropes are fucked, or gosh these characters are swell but this would be 10000% better if it was uwu pure sugar fluff. No, I want it to be fucked up, I want to explore darker themes. "But g/t needs to be sfw because it's a comfort!!" Yes. It's my comfort as well, you don't get to gatekeep how I make my OCs act.

Also, being an author in the fandom these days is just harder than it used to be. No one wants to sit down and read a fic, they just want to see the pretty visualizes your or someone else made instead. Before, fics FLOODED the g/t tag and it was as magically as Matilda going to the library for the first time. So many stories at your fingertips! Now it's 90% art, which is fine! Art is beautiful! I've made art myself and I've had lovely followers make art for me which I am incredibly thankful for. But it's like that shortened attention span, you know? Why sit down a read a 20K fic when I can just look at art of the crux scene in 10 seconds and get the whole vibe? You're shit out of luck if you're not a popular artist to begin with.

I could really go on and list specific blogs and the shit they've done, but that's not fair of me to do. It's not intentionally their fault. That's just how the pieces happened to fall I guess. And really right now, I'm eight times more emotional than normal because my hormones are rampaging and slagging me with baby blues. Like I said, g/t used to be my coping mech for this type of thing, but with how the fandom is now, it's just not working like it used to and is making my mood feel even worse because of it.

I may end up taking a hiatus in the very near future, I may even end up retiring this blog altogether because I don't see the point in keeping up with a fandom that doesn't make me happy anymore. I'll sleep on it of course before I make any hasty decisions, I might bounce back in a couple days once my uterus stops making me depressed, but we'll have to see.

Hey, if you made it this far into my rant, please remember to reblog stories from small creators that you like. Please remember to give newbies in the g/t tag a chance instead of waiting for your fav content creator to give the all clear and declare the new work a hit, especially since they're all their own clique and hardly seem to reblog outside of each other anyways (like a little popular club whirlwind). If you want new and fresh content, then you gotta help expand the new and fresh content, otherwise authors aren't going to be as inclined to continue to develop it.

It's been a trip, y'all. Have fun out there

#ask #anon #g/t

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Debunking “Jasper is only a vegetarian for Alice”

There’s this prevalent thought held by Bella, Meyer, and fandom that if it weren’t for Alice, Jasper would be out there eating all the people. He certainly used to, and he’s the Cullen who struggles the most with the diet.

In particular, there’s this paragraph in Eclipse.

It was strange. In the Cullen family, Jasper was always a little on the fringe, part of things but never the center of them. It was my unspoken assumption that he was only there for Alice. I had the sense that he would follow Alice anywhere, but that this lifestyle was not his first choice. The fact that he was less committed to it than the others was probably why he had more difficulty keeping it up. (Eclipse, page 168)

Twilight is a series where we should always pay attention to who is talking, and treat everyone as a potentially unreliable narrator.

Prior to Bella being introduced to the Cullens, Edward told Jasper to keep his distance. Then, in New Moon, we had Jasper’s infamous loss of control, which proved he can’t be trusted around her.

From Bella’s point of view, Jasper is barely there. It’s because he’s trying to keep his distance when she comes over.

Which is exactly what Edward asked of him, and certain to be of his own accord after the New Moon disaster.

Notice also her thinking Jasper is less committed than the others.

I would wonder where she gets that from, except this is Bella swan, who doesn’t know what vampires are. She doesn’t take bloodthirst at all seriously. If she did, she would be worried about how she’ll fare against it as a vampire, but she couldn’t care less. As far as Bella is concerned, then, the fact that Jasper struggles means he’s got an attitude problem.

We the readers know this isn’t quite the case - when vampires lose control, they lose control in the literal sense. They black out. Emmett and Jasper have both been there, and newborn Carlisle got so hungry he ate something he didn’t even know he could eat. It doesn’t sound like Carlisle was home, and Emmett explicitly states that when he smelled his singers, Emmett wasn’t behind the wheel anymore. If anything, I’d consider Jasper’s tenacity a compliment to his character. It’s harder for him than anybody, and he’s still trying.

Bella refuses to get this, however, because if she did then that would mean vampirism isn’t the solution to all her problems the way she wants it to be. So, if Jasper’s got a problem with blood, the problem has to be Jasper.

So, with that out of the way, why does Jasper do the diet?

Soon after Bella’s above musing, he tells her himself.

I’m just going to quote a full page from Eclipse because he says it better than I could, and it’s better you hear it from the man himself anyway:

“I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn’t fade. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I’d hunted.

“I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I’d lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me — this borrowed memory — than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

“You’ve experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affectme . I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey. “It began to be too much.

“The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn’t feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans.

“Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still haven’t perfected that.” (Eclipse, page 171-172)

This is not a man who’s doing the diet for Alice.

If anything, he was on track to become Carlisle 2.0. I mean it, the parallel to Carlisle’s story is strong here. Had Alice never found Jasper, he would have lost control around deer sooner or later. That, or he would have killed himself.

What’s certain is that this would not have continued indefinitely.

He was at an extreme low point in his life, too miserable to stay with his friends, caught in these desperate, doomed cycles of starving himself, only to kill again. I think suicide attempts would have been next on the agenda.

Jasper is incapable of living on a human diet. He tried, it was unsustainable. Of all the Cullens, he’s the one who can’t live on human blood. The fact that he struggles so much is merely another way in which Twilight is a pit of despair.

With this I’d like to conclude the meta on a novel concept: Alice is the one who’s doing the diet for Jasper.

(I lied: I can’t conclude on something so black-and-white. Jasper is one of the reasons why Alice is with the Cullens. She has other reasons.)

#the alice meta will be out soon guys don't run down my inbox #also yes i intend to write a lot more on jasper #i'm quite aware he's controversial #but this isn't the meta for that #jasper hale #alice cullen #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #long post

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Same universe as the one where LXC kills JGY on a boat to not-Japan. JRS-centric as he grows up in the Nie clan and deals with his reputation as an inbred son of a traitorous bastard.

so I don't think I've ever written a fic in which LXC kills JGY on a boat, and definitely not one where JRS is a character? I mean, I've written a lot of fics, so possibly I did and I forgot, but I'm pretty sure about this one.

That being said, I don't think I've gotten any Jin Rusong prompts before so I'm reinterpreting this to be a prompt for a fic about JRS growing up in the Nie clan. Fic below!

ao3

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang reminded himself. Risk is proportionate with reward. Your spine should be made of steel, just as your saber is.

He licked his lips, thought of his brother who had loved him, and threw himself forward with tears in his eyes.

“Oh, gongzi!” he blubbered. “Can you help me? I’ve gotten completelylost, I don’t even know where to begin –”

Xue Yang blinked at him, the lids of his eyes moving slowly like a reptile.

“Maybe you know where my san-ge is? Lianfeng-zun?”

The feeling of immediate threat lessened. It seemed he’d gambled right, and the rabid dog that was Xue Yang could still be controlled by reference to Jin Guangyao.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could just give me some guidance on where to find him,” Nie Huaisang said, lowering his voice confidentially. “I’d be sure to pay you back! If there’s anything you want –”

“Do you have any snacks?” Xue Yang asked.

Nie Huaisang, who had come prepared based on the rumors he’d painstakingly collected, produced some dragons’ beard candy.

“Not bad,” Xue Yang said. “Okay, sure.”

Nie Huaisang smiled, and even meant it.

“Hey, good-for-nothing,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang turned to look at his least favorite but nevertheless highly useful source of information in Lanling Jin. The fact that Xue Yang had no idea that he was functioning as such just made it more satisfactory. “You like kids, right?”

Nie Huaisang blinked. “Yes?” he hazarded, not so much because he actually did – he’d never had strong feelings about children one way or the other, though perhaps he was being presumptuous in thinking that the reference did not involve goats – but because that seemed to be the answer Xue Yang was looking for.

Xue Yang wrinkled his nose in distaste, though not, Nie Huaisang thought, at him.

“Theoretically,” he said, and he wouldn’t know ‘theoretical’ if it hit him in the face, “if there were, I don’t know, a whole bunch of them hanging around somewhere without parents, you’d be able to do something about that, right? Especially if they had a talent for cultivation?”

It took only a moment to piece together what must have happened to lead to such a question, given the ruthlessness of the cultivation world and of Jin Guangyao in particular, and Nie Huaisang marveled briefly at the idea that Xue Yang might draw a moral line in the sand over something. Presumably he felt some kinship to the children, being similarly utterly infantile, amoral, and fond of sweet things.

“Oh sure!” he said, playing up the brainless idiot who didn’t know to ask questions. “My sect is always recruiting, you know. We took some losses in the war and, well, I feel like adult cultivators aren’t really all that interestedin joining ever since I took over…”

“Because you’re a waste of space,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang pouted at him. “Whatever, the important thing is that you have space for kids. Orphans. Think, like, a whole orphanage getting shut down or whatever – anyway, not important. You’d take them back to Qinghe, right?”

“Oh, that would be so wonderful!” Nie Huaisang clapped. “That would suit everyone, wouldn’t it? They don’t have to worry about the children, and we get new disciples. I should tell san-ge – no, on second thought, he might be too busy –”

“Definitely too busy,” Xue Yang said quickly. “Wouldn’t it be nice to accomplish something yourself? You could casually show him that your numbers went up at the end of the month instead so he gives you the credit, without explaining that it’s kids making up the increase.”

“That’s a great idea! He’ll be much more impressed by that, I should definitely do that. Where is the orphanage?”

“…uh, in the forest. The back forest.”

You couldn’t come up with a better lie?

“You already brought them here?” Nie Huaisang asked, batting his eyelashes. “You’re so nice, Xue-xiong! I’ll go tell my second in command to go deal with it right away!”

It was in the fifth round of kids getting picked up – small cultivation clans being massacred and there was nothing Nie Huaisang could do about it, because there was either no evidence or else Jin Guangyao had come up with some motive to justify his actions and, inevitably, Lan Xichen would be there behind him, soothing over tempers and providing explanations because he believed him, every time – that something unusual happened.

“Sect Leader Nie,” one of his most trusted subordinates murmured into his ear. “There’s a problem.”

Nie Huaisang found a reason to leave the party early, a reason to go to the rendezvous point, and, once there, found the reason for the problem.

“Oh, hey there,” he said with a smile fixed onto his face by sheer force of willpower, crouching down to make himself seem less intimidating. Not that he was ever particularly intimidating, though given the rage coursing through his veins right now, he thought he might be able to pull it off if he tried. “What a lucky chance! It’s so funny, finding you here, Songsong. How are you?”

Jin Rusong wiped his eyes and looked tearily at him, recognized that the person asking was his Little Uncle Nie, and threw himself into Nie Huaisang’s arms with a howl.

This was pretty typical – Jin Rusong wasn’t much of a crier, but when he did he definitely took Nie Huaisang as his model, something all the other adults in the cultivation world had a tendency to give Nie Huaisang dirty looks over.

The only problem here, of course, was that Jin Rusong was dead.

Or, rather…he was supposed to be dead.

And if Jin Rusong was here – here, in the rendezvous point where Xue Yang put those of his prospective victims that happened to be a little too young for even him to stomach killing, at least without the personal grudge that had driven him to slaughter the Chang clan in its entirety – that meant only one thing.

Jin Guangyao had ordered his own son to be murdered.

Through demonic cultivation, no less, which was a pretty nasty way to go. There was a reason everyone implicitly countenanced Jiang Cheng’s vendetta against demonic cultivators no matter where they were, even when he ignored all territory lines and forgot to not ask for permission – the things a demonic cultivator gone bad could do were just so much worse than what anyone else could that they couldn’t risk any delay in dealing with the problem.

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

“There has to be a reason,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “He’s not rabid. Songsong was his son!”

“Sect Leader Nie, we can’t find anything that might explain it.”

“Look harder. I don’t care how minor it is, I want to know everythingto do with Songsong. Every little detail – every person who saw him – every medical report, every compliment, every good grade –”

“He placed last in one of his classes,” one of his spies volunteered.

“What?”

“He placed last in one of his classes. About two months before his ‘assassination’, and shortly before his father started collecting evidence against the other sects that were in his way, which he later used to ‘prove’ that they had been involved in the alleged murder.”

“He wouldn’t kill his son for failing a class,” one of the others objected. “The kid’s barely more than a baby. What’s he expecting, genius from birth?”

“He’s a genius himself. Why not?”

“If everyone inherited everything directly from their parents, he’d be a whore.”

“He’d be a Jin. They’ve all got that nose, every one of them…”

“I heard he’s having the other Jin bastards killed. All of them, even the women…”

Something snapped in Nie Huaisang’s hands.

They all turned to look at him.

“Investigate Qin Su,” he said, looking down at the mess of wood and paper that had once been a fan. “Come to think of it, she has a Jin nose, too.”

“I don’t want to go!”

“I don’t want you to go, either,” Nie Huaisang said, feeling tired and also much more in sympathy with his poor older brother than he’d ever been while Nie Mingjue had been alive. “But you disobeyed me, and that means we don’t have a choice. You have to go.”

Nie Songsong looked down at the ground, his lip quivering. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You did,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have to own your decisions, Songsong. You can’t take them back once they’re done, no matter what the consequences. Not even if you feel bad, but definitely not because you feel bad for having to pay for what you did.”

“But…”

“No, Songsong. You cannot be in the Unclean Realm when – when he’s here.”

Nie Songsong hung his head.

“He’s not your father anymore,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know that, right?”

Nie Songsong nodded.

Nie Huaisang sighed and held out his hands, and his arms were full of a teary-eyed child a moment later.

“He loved you once,” Nie Huaisang murmured into his child’s hair. “I love you now. I wish I could give you more than that – I wish I could give you an answer, tell you why he didn’t love you enough to keep from doing what he did. But I can’t. All I can do…”

Is what I’m already doing.

“You’re enough, er-ge,” Nie Songsong whispered back. “You’re enough. I promise.”

“When will I get to go night-hunting?”

“You go night-hunting all the time,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. “You’re a fraction my age, and already my height, my weight, yet you wield a saber like my brother was around to raise you properly. You’re ruining my reputation, you know; now no one will believe that my incompetence comes from how short I am…”

“Not night-hunting with the rest of the sect, er-ge,” Nie Songsong said, rolling his eyes. “With other juniors!”

“Not long now,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at the paper beneath his hands. It was all finally coming together. “Not long now. Just give er-ge a little more time to finish taking care of matters for da-ge, and you’ll be able to go night-hunting with anyone you like.”

“Er-ge! Are you all right? You look so pale…”

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispered. “Songsong – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry –”

“What happened? Are you injured?” Nie Songsong demanded, already starting to pat him over, looking for wounds. “Er-ge, what’s wrong –”

“Your mother’s dead.”

Nie Songsong’s hands stilled.

“I told her about your heritage,” Nie Huaisang said, his lips numb. He’d never tried to hide it from Nie Songsong, although he’d introduced the subject very gradually and only once he thought that he’d be able to handle the revelation. “About your father – your grandfather. What they did. I wanted her to be angry at him, to turn against him, to distract him…instead, she killed herself.”

“Er-ge…”

“I shouldn’t have told her. If I knew –”

“Er-ge.”

“I should have brought her in earlier – told her about you surviving – I kept her from you for years –”

“Er-ge!”

Nie Huaisang looked at the child he had raised as a little brother the way his older brother had raised him, a father in everything but name, and who he had the constant feeling of having failed.

He wondered, as he always did, whether his brother had felt the same about him.

“Er-ge, it’s all right,” his little brother, his adopted son, said, and took his hands in his. “It’s all right. You tried, remember? Time after time, you tried to talk to her, but every single time you concluded that she would’ve told her husband instead of trusting you. She would’ve ruined everything. If she did that, I’d be dead all over again, and you with me.”

That had been what Nie Huaisang had concluded. That was why he’d never told her.

But…

“She’s your mother.”

“And you’re my er-ge. As long as you don’t die on me, too, it’ll be all right. Okay? It’ll be all right. It’ll be worth it in the end.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He’d already done so much, caused so much chaos and strife, and yet this moment – this was the step too far.

This was the first time he realized that he wasn’t sure he believed that it would be worth it anymore.

But by now…what else was left to do? There were no ways out of the plan he’d made himself; he’d designed it that way on purpose, because he’d known that if there was a way out, that snake would find a way to slither through it. He just hadn’t thought that he would be the one looking for it.

It didn’t matter.

He had to keep going.

His older brother deserved it, even if the younger one didn’t.

“I represent the Nie sect,” the young man – just about their age, though shorter than either of them – said with a smile. He seemed kind, gentle and polite, easy-going, but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui looked at each other, and then at Jin Ling, who just scowled. “Can I come in?”

“Were you even invited?” Jin Ling asked in bitten off words. He was still bitter about some of the things that had happened in the Guayin Temple a month before, and of all them the one he was most bitter about was his second uncle’s retreat into seclusion – they were all upset about that.

“But it’s a discussion conference,” the young man said, blinking in confusion. “We’re a Great Sect. Why wouldn’t we be invited?”

In the face of such profound ignorance, there really wasn’t very much they could say, and eventually Lan Sizhui stepped forward with a smile, welcoming the young man – Nie Songsong, he introduced himself – into the Cloud Recesses.

Everything seemed fine for a little while. Lan Sizhui was able to talk to the people in charge of arranging juniors into finding another place for Nie Songsong to stay, although it would be a little delayed – Nie Songsong assured them that there was no issue – and as recompense they even showed him, at his request, a few of the main landmarks.

And then they turned around and their guest had disappeared.

“I knew he was up to no good!” Jin Ling exclaimed.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Lan Sizhui told him.

“I’m with Jin Ling,” Lan Jingyi said. “He seemed so nice and understated – just like you know –”

“Don’t talk about my little uncle,” Jin Ling hissed at him. “I know it’s true, but just – don’t, okay?”

“We should find where he went,” Lan Sizhui decided.

It took them a while, but in the end they found him in the most unexpected place: in the rooms their sect leader had chosen for his seclusion, sitting on the bed with Lan Xichen’s head on his shoulder, sobbing as if his heart had been broken.

“What are you doing?” Lan Sizhui exclaimed, unnerved even out of his own habitual politeness.

“I came to greet my uncle,” Nie Songsong said, his manner just as gentle and polite as it had been from the beginning, although it was now evident that he was as stubborn as a rock and not easy-going at all.

“Your uncle?” Lan Jingyi gaped. “How can he be your uncle?”

“You’re Sect Leader Nie’s son!” Jin Ling accused.

“I’m Sect Leader Nie’s little brother by adoption,” Nie Songsong corrected. “It’s through my father that he’s my uncle – and you my cousin, I suppose.”

“Your – father?”

“Oh, yes. My birth name, you see,” Nie Songsong said, “was Jin Rusong.”

“Why did you choose to reveal yourself?” Lan Sizhui asked. “Given that everyone knows – well –”

Nie Songsong finished the character he was writing and put down his brush. “Wondering if you should let it be known that you were born with the surname Wen?”

Lan Sizhui jerked in surprise, then flushed. “How did you – that didn’t come out in Guanyin Temple.”

“No, I knew it before,” Nie Songsong said. “My er-ge is very clever, you know.”

“Yes, I suppose I do...why do you call him brother? Shouldn’t he be uncle, or – or –”

“Uncle is probably right,” Nie Songsong said. “But he raised me like a son, just as his brother did for him.”

Lan Sizhui looked down at his hands.

“Why did he publicly reveal your background, knowing that you were still around?” he asked again. “Everyone will know. Who your father was, all those terrible things he did, his relationship with your mother –”

“Why shouldn’t he? He did do all those things, and he did have that relationship with my mother.”

“But what about you? What about your reputation –”

“Are you planning on sweeping Wen Ruohan’s grave?”

Lan Sizhui stared at him.

“He’s your grandfather, isn’t he?” Nie Songsong looked calmly back at him. “Who he was, all those terrible things he did –”

“That’s nothing to do with me!”

“And the crimes of my father are nothing to do with me. My er-ge gave me his surname, just as Hanguang-jun gave you his, and for the same reason – to cut us off from the sins of our original family.”

“I suppose that’s true. But – no one knew about you, just as no one knew about me until I told them, and I only told them because they were my friends. Why’d you tell us? Aren’t you worried we’d tell more people?”

“Of course I am,” Nie Songsong said. “I hope you don’t, of course, but you would’ve found out regardless – second uncle wasn’t exactly subtle in his grief. And I had to tell him.”

“Why? To bring him out of seclusion?” Lan Sizhui hesitated. “Do you care so much for him?”

“Of course not. The last time I met him, I was a small child, and my father was just about to order me murdered; that’s not much of a basis to build a relationship. But having him lock himself away like that, as if he were in mourning…it hurt er-ge. And I won’t let anything hurt my er-ge. Anything, or anyone.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I understand,” Lan Sizhui said.

“I’m glad you do,” Nie Songsong said, and then smiled. “I would’ve had to escalate to threats next, and I’m given to understand that I’m too short to really pull them off properly.”

Lan Sizhui snorted. “I think we’ve all learned that that’snot true.”

“Should we talk about this?” Jin Ling asked, arms crossed over his chest and glaring.

“What do you want to talk about?” Nie Songsong replied.

“How about the fact that your father tried to kill me?”

“Sure. Can we talk about the fact that you got all of his affection for years and years after he tried to kill me?”

Jin Ling blanched.

“I wonder if he would’ve gotten me a dog, too,” Nie Songsong mused. “I was too young for that when he ordered his demonic cultivator to feed me to fierce corpses and have my body ravaged until it was barely recognizable…but sure, let’s talk about how he tried to kill you.”

“I was talking about Sect Leader Nie!”

“Well, then, you should have been more specific. Sect Leader Nie’s my brother, not my father.”

“He’s a whole generation older than you!”

“My little uncle, then.”

Jin Ling flinched. “That’s worse. Go back to calling him your brother.”

Nie Songsong shrugged. “Would it help if we fought?”

“…what?”

“It makes me feel better, sometimes. Besides, I may be short, but I’m pretty good with the saber. I bet I could match your sword…maybe not your arrows. But I’ve always wanted to try.”

Jin Ling looked at him suspiciously for a long moment.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Sure. Why not?”

“I really hate that you’re kind of cool,” Lan Jingyi told him.

“I am so cool,” Nie Songsong said, and passed him another jar of wine. “Want to see my spring book collection?”

“…yes please.”

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Lan Xichen said to Nie Huaisang, who shrugged. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t trust me to help.”

“It’s only what I should have done,” Nie Huaisang said, not for the first time. He’d said it so often these past few days that it felt like a new refrain, an alternative to the old I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. He preferred the original. “I was his little uncle, remember? I held him on his first month party. How could I do any less?”

He did not say that Lan Xichen, who could be classified as Jin Rusong’s older uncle, had done much less, but from Lan Xichen’s expression, he’d taken it that way anyway.

“You never…” Lan Xichen hesitated. “Did you ever have any – concerns?”

“That he’d turn out an idiot? No. I figured he’d be in good company, with me.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, you meant whether I was worried that he’d grow up longing for his blood family over his adopted family and turn against me in favor of his real father?” Nie Huaisang asked mildly. “No, not really. The memory of your father ordering you to be mauled by fierce corpses and to make sure your face is destroyed so that there’s a reason to refuse to let your mother see the body, as it would only upset her, is a fairly effective panacea against things like that.”

“No,” Lan Xichen said, though he looked sick all over again at the reminder of how considerate Jin Guangyao could be when it came to those he thought of as people, and how monstrous he was towards those he didn’t. “No, just – your brother always took such a hard line against the Wen sect…”

“Because they were raised with the philosophy that they were superior to the rest of us and my brother purposefully made himself into the symbol of their fallibility, thereby making himself and all the rest of us the primary target for their traumatic realization that they’re just as weak and vulnerable as everyone else,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Our Nie sect cultivators were always especially targeted whenever we were captured – our survival rate as prisoners of war was less than half all the other sects, and it wasn’t just because we were usually more injured when we got caught. Even the civilians surnamed Wen would pull out knives and try to stab us in the back if they had half a chance! We were in a blood feud with them, er-ge. You don’t put down blood feuds just like that, not even if you want to. That’s not how it works.”

Lan Xichen nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Anyway, Songsong is mine now,” Nie Huaisang said. “Just as Lan Sizhui is your brother’s, and Jin Ling Jiang Cheng’s. Can’t we all just agree to not care about the rest?”

“I suppose we have to,” Lan Xichen said, bowing his head. “Huaisang…did you ever think about what happens now? I mean – what should we do next?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said, and smiled humorlessly when Lan Xichen looked at him. “I’m not joking. I didn’t know what to do when I got Songsong for the first time, er-ge, and I don’t know what to do now, either. I just wanted to see justice done for my da-ge, and I did, and for the rest – I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” Lan Xichen said. “I don’t know, either.”

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang thought. Spine as steel as your saber.

“Would you like to come visit the Unclean Realm sometime?” he asked, pretending to be casual. “Perhaps we can figure out what we don’t know together. If you like.”

“…perhaps I will,” Lan Xichen said.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #xue yang #lan xichen #jin rusong #jin ling #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #my fic #my fics #nothing ventured nothing gained

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red-doll-face · 3 years

Note

Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!

#slasher x reader #michael myers #michael myers x reader #halloween #rz halloween movie #rz michael myers #rz michael myers x reader #jason voorhees #jason voorhees x reader #friday the 13th #thomas brown hewitt x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt #bubba sawyer x reader #bubba sawyer #leatherface x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers

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