#it's not fair to condemn the world and everyone who lives in it for your suffering
Note
Something that really bothers me about the rose coloured glasses vis a vis tellius and fe fans (ESPECIALLY from 3h fans who learned about tellius later) is that many like soren purely because of his main ship (i mean i like ikesoren too but come the fuck on) and jokingly characterise soren as a stereotypical nasty mean limp wristed sarcastic gay man instead of a deeply flawed branded angry at the world and definitely trauma bonded to ike, but micaiah is still absolutely getting raked over the coals over the blood pact and not being ike’s fangirl
Well,
Jokes often involve flanderisation, so Soren being flanderised to oblivion when people joke about him isn't something I really care about, but maybe that's because I'm not really fond of Soren to begin with lol
What annoys me more is when some people try to rationalise Soren's anger and backstory by either pointing at Almedha or Deghinsea being responsible for everything, and I'm like, what.the.fuck?
Almedha's just, idk, I won't call it sexism, but damn - that woman loves her son who is the only reason why she hasn't completely lost her mind over 1/losing her powers 2/being casted away like trash by her "BF" 3/being rejected by her dad 4/thinking her brother was tortured and abused to death because of her actions 5/being separated from her beloved child.
Deghinsea being "uwu bad bcs he's the reason why brandeds are rejected by both beorcs and laguz" is another take I really am not fond of, and iirc I wrote a post earlier this year about it? But to some people who buy the "Crusts BaD" as the reason why Fodlan sucks, I guess they need to have someone to name and pill all of the world's nonsense rather than, well, in Tellius' case, realise that the worldbulding and the lore really sucks, to the point where the duology touted as the most "against racism" of the franchise, is pretty much way more racist than anything Tru Piss can throw us (yes, because in Tru Piss we have characters rejecting coexistence, in Tellius, it's the world mechanics - whenever a Beorc and a Laguz coexist too much, the Laguz dies...).
As for Miccy,
Just like, imo, Soren gains some "new" attention and "uwu excuses for why he's being a snarky jerk at times", Miccy used to be bashed when FE10 was released (with all the Mary Sue accusation being thrown around!) because she was written to be a sort of foil/antagonist to Ike, and when the party reunited, she was demoted to a "soul-jar" role, let it be regarding the greater plot, or, even, her own backstory!
TBH, for people who didn't play FE10, if Ike is the bestest thing since melted cheese, Miccy, who opposes him, must be BaD and so you can pile everything you don't like on her, hoping to see it stick.
Or even worse, I've seen posts here and there comparing Miccy to Supreme Leader and how misunderstood uwu she is, which is the worst insult poor Miccy ever received since FE10 came out rofl
#2goldensnitches#do you want to kill me friend lol#once upon a time discussions about soren and miccy were very animated lol#anyways i still don't like how some part of the fandom tries to uwu him#he is a character with flaws that sure are never called out in the game and by the main character but#they exist#and to uwu them away is imo a disservice and not a good reading on him#'but his backstory sad uwus' Sephiran also has a crapton of sad uwus for his backstory#and yet the game chews him out about his plans to destroy the world because hey fuck off#it's not fair to condemn the world and everyone who lives in it for your suffering#It's sort of hilarious because sometimes I wonder if Miccy wasn't also written as a Soren foil#Miccy is the one who doesn't like when Beorc call Laguz names#she lives in racist land and knows she has to hide else she'll die too#but she still came to care about the people who live here#she gets to talk to Vika who feels weirded out by her being a branded and yet they agree to continue talking/being friends despite it#Miccy never insults Rafiel calling him a half beast#Soren follows Ike and his lead but Miccy has to take the lead despite wanting to follow Pelleas at first#tfw we know more about Soren's backstory even after being kicked away from Daein than Miccy's lol#granted I loved what FE10 with Almedha when you see that some of his worst traits/flaws are actually shared by his mom lol#tl;dr : a Soren raised by his mom would have been even more of a jerk than the one we got#i have a lot of feelings about how Miccy was treated in FE10 which in turn sort of explains the vitriol she received from the fandom#but that's for another post lol else it'll be too long#basically FE10 is more Ike v.2 than a game where Miccy is the Lord
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
He saves sea turtles.
He kills “human-animals”.
But this is one issue, and that’s another.
How can you be a white angel?
With half a conscience!
Fighting for freedom movements.
While annihilating liberation movements.
Distributing your compassion and tenderness.
Over those killed according to their nationality.
But this is one issue, and that’s another.
How can you be civilized?
Abiding by all terms and conditions.
All your words are politically correct.
Hugging trees.
Sugarcoating words.
While an army demolishes a nearby school?
And when caught red-handed… with blood on your hand.
You respond saying “everyone’s a victim”. But this is one issue, and that’s another.
How am I supposed to believe this world? When it talks about humanity?
Watching a mother lamenting her child. Who died in a raid… hungry.
Treating the killer and the victim on par. With all honesty and fairness!
But this is one issue, and that’s another.
How can I sleep peacefully?
Wearing my earplugs.
While a family is buried under the rubble of its home.
Forsaken... denied rescue.
As if the earth in which they’re buried.
Is not of this earth.
But this is one issue, and that’s another.
How can you live in an open prison?
With cells of fire and ashes.
And then rise from the rubble.
Grab your killer by the neck.
Gather your remains and fight.
And show the deceiving world.
How the law of the jungle is applied.
And where the freedom route is.
How to handle a tank barehanded.
It doesn’t matter if the world speaks out. Die free… don’t live in submission.
Inspire generations after generations.
How to live and die for a cause.
What world are we calling for?
To denounce and condemn?
Condemn all you want.
For any condemnation of crimes in the slaughterhouse.
Won’t soften the powder’s charge.
And won’t bring back daylight, “But this’s one issue…” And this is an honorable struggle.
Written by: Mostafa Ibrahim
[Telk Qadeya (That's an issue) by the Egyptian Band Cairokee.]
#palestine#israel#gaza#free palestine#free gaza#social justice#palestine resources#jerusalem#tel aviv#spilled ink
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, I hope you are doing good! As always your writing is simply amazing!! If its not too much of a hassle could i request an amateur killer going after a seemingly harmless butcher who turns out to be a far far more experienced killer than the amateur one and is smug about it. Maybe some little chase in the dark, and some sexual tension? Thank you! Remember to drink water!
It was probably fair to say that they had screwed up. Big time. The protagonist was never luring anyone to a remote location again.
They sprinted across the dark warehouse, only to hit the door that they themselves had locked. It was a sick irony. A sicker joke. They could have howled in frustration and had to resist the stupid urge to pound against the door, because it wasn't like anyone would hear them except their killer. That was the bloody point!
The killer approached them with stalking steps, at utter odds with the cheerful, whistling amble the protagonist had come to associate them with.
The protagonist whipped to face them, eyes wild. Their panted breaths frosted on the icy air between them.
Their killer held the protagonist's own weapon in one hand.
It occurred to them, belatedly, that they should fight back. While it was true that their killer had turned out to be far less harmless than expected, and while maybe they'd made some beginner's mistakes, that didn't mean they needed to just roll over and die!
Even if, admittedly, watching the killer close the gap between them was utterly mesmerising, so much so that it was difficult to do anything other than stare. It was like they'd slipped entirely into a new skin. It was incredible. Everything that had made the killer seem ordinary, seem just like everyone else - cute, nice, friendly - had sluiced off them to reveal something dangerous and steely. Gorgeous.
The protagonist swallowed.
"Amateur," the killer said. "Quite amateur. I mean, even if I wasn't better than you at this in every conceivable way," the killer raised a brow, "why would you go after someone who can butcher animals bigger than you for a living? You're an idiot."
It did, in hindsight, seem rather idiotic.
"I appreciate what you were going for, of course," the killer said, "to dispatch of me like one of my own products. It's a neat idea. Elegant."
Despite everything, despite how utterly wrong it had all gone, the protagonist felt an absurd twist of pride at the praise. It probably showed on their face.
"But so," the killer stepped closer, and the protagonist shrank against the warehouse door, "so," the killer pressed the butcher's knife against the protagonist's throat, "so stupid."
The killer leaned in even closer, until their lips were only inches apart. "At least you're pretty, right?"
The protagonist breath hitched. Their gazes locked.
The killer tossed them a wink, a smirk crooking one corner of their mouth.
The protagonist sagged against the door, spinning with relief and something else entirely. "You're not going to kill me."
"You have potential. With the right training, you could be quite something."
"Your training."
"I could show you the world," the killer deadpanned. "Shining, shimmering, splendidly drenched in blood."
The protagonist choked on a laugh.
The killer grinned at them, some mimicry of the affability they showed everyone else, but far more sharp. Intoxicating.
"Of course," the killer said. "If you try to kill me again-"
"Why would I want to kill something so beautiful?"
"You really are a twisted little freak, aren't you?" There was no condemnation in the killer's voice, just a sort of amused fondness.
The protagonist felt themselves blush. "Rude."
"What's rude is such a half-assed murder attempt. What a way to go. You don't even know how to handle the equipment."
"Teach me, then." It came out breathless.
They eyed each other.
"Well, for starters, this." The killer trailed the knife down the protagonist's chest. "Is a carving knife. You don't stab people with it."
"You do if you're not a coward."
The killer laughed, and lowered the weapon entirely, melting right back into a picture of abashed harmlessness.
"Come by the store tomorrow," they said. "And I'll show you how it's really done."
By the end of the week, the protagonist was pretty sure they were in love.
415 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok so re: logan and racism (and marcia) because i’ve been having Thoughts TM rotating in my mind for a day or two but like. logan, obviously, is a very racist individual, but i think mostly in the sense that he perpetuates and weaponizes racism rather than actively, like, unironically having said bigoted beliefs (for the most part of course lmao)
in the sense that, like, he does not believe that, say, white people are inherently superior, and he knows and acknowledges that they have a leg up in the world because he’s many things but he’s not stupid. but to him, that’s not a bad thing. it’s not a good thing either. it’s just .. a Thing. it’s the way the world works. (same with misogyny and other forms of oppression. “i didn’t make the world,” he says to shiv after saying her being a woman was a minus.)
he’s got a, like, might makes right natural selection type proto-fascistic sense of morality that prioritizes power and strength above all else. rather than condemning systemic bigotry that he is very very very aware is real and exists, it’s like -- it is what it is. the world isn’t fair, tough luck. he’s aware that spreading racism, islamophobia, antisemitism, etc is profitable for him and therefore he will do it and he won’t feel bad because he didn’t create the world and it’s not his fault that that’s the way things are. racism and bigotry are tools and he won’t hesitate to use them if it’ll serve his interests. it’s all part of the game.
like he’s one of those people who would look at african and asian countries who have had their resources fucked to hell by colonialism and capitalism and imperialism and white supremacy, like iraq, egypt, iran, ethiopia, etc, and he wouldn’t try to downplay how much they contributed to humanity or whitewash them the way your run-of-the-mill old racist man would, but he’d also have no sympathy for their current suffering. he’d think well it’s their fault they let themselves get lazy and soft. that’s what you get. he wouldn’t downplay the crimes europeans have committed against native americans but he’d say that “they were conquered” and that’s the way the world works. oops sorry tough luck you lost.
which brings me to: he respects people of color who, to him, “rise above” racism -- like marcia. because to him, human rights aren’t inalienable. you have to claw your way through the world to be respected and perceived as a human being but if you DO manage to do that -- then you’re one of the good ones. you deserve respect. (romanticizing suffering like a good old catholic lol) i think he feels like him and marcia are similar in the sense that they both rose above hardship -- in the sense that they’re both immigrants (obviously with VERY different experiences) who made something of themselves.
so he respects marcia in a way he doesn’t respect anyone else in the show, in a way. he doesn’t respect his kids or the pierces because they were born with a silver spoon in their mouths and he doesn’t respect poor people either because he grew up poor too and he still made something of himself so fuck that everything’s an excuse. he’s like the poster-child of someone who has personally experienced injustice (being abused as a child, living in poverty, etc) and rather than not wanting anyone else to experience these things, you’d rather everyone else did because that’s only fair. like why do YOU get to have a safe space when I didn’t? no fuck that
so like i think if one of the kids were to say something bigoted or micro-aggressive to marcia in his presence he’d be quick to be like, okay, well what do YOU do successfully. quickly. however. he wouldn’t of course actively make the environment they live in safe for her, and he WILL actively promote racism against her people because that’s what works for him, just like he didn’t take measures to keep his kids safe from the people he associates himself with.
#this turned out longer than i thought it would be lmao#does this make sense...#anyway#logan roy#marcia roy#many loganmarcia thoughts their dynamic is insane to me#also i do love marcia howeverrrr. she is very much a race traitor#obviously that doesn't mean she deserves to be subjected to bigotry#but she's a brown woman who actively chose to marry a man who literally owns fox news to serve her own personal interests#to ignore that would be reductive imo
245 notes
·
View notes
Text
Resident Evil Rock Band AU
Featuring Claire as the frontman, Leon on lead guitar, Jill on the bass, and Chris on the drums.
Claire, Leon, Jill, and Chris form a band named Resident Evil a la Måneskin, a slutty little rock group with hard vocals, a heavy bassline, and songs about getting fucked and destroying the world
Claire is the frontman, lead singer, and face of the group. She's your classic riot grrrl rockstar, an outspoken feminist and anti-bioterrorism activist. She's a little rough around the edges but loves a good laugh and will protect the people she loves with her life. She's been arrested several times for protesting, vandalism, and punching assholes who deserved it.
Leon plays guitar, and yes he is that guitarist, the one everyone falls in love with. While his performances are over the top, he's much shyer offstage and doesn't quite know how to take a compliment. Fans love his interviews because he's so genuinely honest and unintentionally funny. His dad jokes have gone viral (pun intended) several times. While not as openly controversial as Claire, he also advocates for victims of bioterrorism and actively volunteers to help cities in crisis after attacks.
Jill is the band's stoic and beloved bass player. Quieter than her bandmates, Jill is the heart of the group. While everyone plays their part in writing and composing RE's songs, Jill is the main lyricist and producer of their tracks. She often streams live from their studio and shows fans the process of making music. She is very visibly ex-military and keeps up with her training, sometimes filming her exercises and regiments. She can be found with Leon volunteering during bioterrorism crises.
Chris is very similar to his sister. Ex-military and outspoken, he is the voice of the group and has gotten into his fair share of scandals for not following the rules. He is loud and passionate and openly adores his bandmates and fans. Out of everyone, he is most willing to go out of his way to interact with fans and will always leave them with a piece of encouraging advice. He is the jokester of the group and fully believes that any publicity is good publicity. He is the only member who still takes military contracts to work on the front lines of terror attacks.
Resident Evil was formed after all four band members survived the atrocity of Raccoon City. Claire had been in the city visiting her brother Chris while on break from college. Chris and Jill worked together on a special task force with the police department and lived in the city. Leon, a Raccoon native, was a local firefighter. Chris, Jill, and Leon were all first responders when the outbreak started, with Chris and Jill organising rescues and helping survivors make it to the safety of the police station and Leon working triage with them. Claire volunteered her help and the four of them worked together until the virus breached RPD and there was nothing left to do but survive.
None of them ever really talk about what happened in the city, but many of their songs condemn the actions, ideologies, and greed that allowed Raccoon to fall victim to bioterrorism. Their most popular song is a ballad in remembrance of the victims of that day, ironically seconded by a raunchy tune about fucking until the dawn because you're never promised tomorrow.
No one knows if anyone in the band is actually dating or not (except Claire and Chris who are known siblings and obviously not together). Leon is frequently seen making out with Claire and Chris both on and off the stage; Claire has been caught on camera multiple times with Jill; and Jill is often seen out with Chris, though most fans think she's dating their stage manager Carlos Oliveira
RE performs an annual charity show for victims of bioterrorism, all of the proceeds of which go towards NGOs like TerraSave. The group is currently working to organize a charity festival with bigger bands for greater proceeds
(To Be Continued..)
Ahh! The start of a larger AU! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed <3
#resident evil#leon kennedy#jill valentine#chris redfield#claire redfield#valenfield#cleon#fanfic#au#resi#plz no sexyleon#LSDKJFLSDJF okay so literally am picturing maneskin but with an MCR-esque origin story#obviously non-canon RC story#no sherry does not exist in this timeline and if she does she was rescued by another group#jill and chris were not involved with umbrella and some unfortunate other team dealt with wesker#leon is a firefighter and raccoon native because i said so#idk and i didn't want him to go and take contract work like chris because mans has already been through enough and given the chance he#would stop fighting so destructively#i hope you enjoy and i would lOVEEE it if people reblogged and commented and maybe sent asks???#thanks#re rockband au
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Performance - Act 9 (Part 22)
Writer: Akira
Season: Spring
Characters: Wataru, Hokuto
Translation Directory
"Aah, a dream is a dream! But isn't it one so sweet?"
Time: During Act Thirteen (Final Act) of the Performance
Location: Concert Hall (Theatre)
Wataru: "Romeo-sama? Romeo-sama? Where are you?"
"I heard that you are hidden in the small church in these woods!"
"It would be troublesome for something to happen to a suspect before a trial, no?"
"Making sure the suspect is secured, so that no harm comes to them before a fair trial is held..."
"The governor-general of our Verona is capable of such consideration."
"Hey, Romeo-sama, respond to me! You are here, are you not? I have something I absolutely must impart to you!"
"I've caused a horrible misunderstanding! It may be too late for this, but after so long I've finally awakened to the truth!"
"Please laugh at me for being a foolish little girl, Romeo-sama!"
"I don't want to lose you! You may end up exiled, or gibbeted - regardless, you will be taken to a place where I cannot reach you for eternity!"
"Before that, I, I want to take you away! Let's run somewhere far away, hand in hand!"
"I don't care what kind of wasteland it is, I don't care if it's hell! So long as you are by my side, any place will be heaven!"
"My angel, the sun who lit up my pitch-dark world! My beloved Romeo-sama, won't you please respond to me!"
".....?"
"...Romeo-sama? Are you over there?"
"Aah, this is... Is this Romeo-sama?"
"That cold thing there..? With dusky, discoloured skin, fallen out hair, and bloodstained clothing...!?"
"Is this the lovely Romeo-sama?"
"And what is this? A cup, grasped in her hands...?"
"Aah, Romeo-sama! Did you, in your nobility, hate the shame of having your sins condemned by the public, and depart to the kingdom of heaven without trial?"
"What were you thinking! You're too cruel! You surely filled the cup to the brim and drank every last drop, didn't you?"
"Romeo-sama! Why did you not leave even a little bit for me?"
"Did you misunderstand that there's no-one who loves you, who'll chase after you?"
"It's my fault! Being stuck in our families' war, I became obsessed with how everyone around us stabs blades of hatred into each other!"
"Even though in this world that forgot love, I alone loved you!"
"Even though, I loved you-"
"I didn't convey that, acting like I was so clever, thinking it was for your sake..."
"I looked away from you, closed my ears to your words, and always rejected you."
"That must be why you are frozen like this, why you've become cold, isn't it?"
"......"
"Romeo-sama. I am a sinful person, but if I'm permitted, may I join you on this journey to the afterlife?"
"Going by yourself must be lonely."
"Whether we end up in heaven or hell, I won't reject you there. Without lying to my heart, I'll try to respond to your love."
"I'll take off my mask of coldness..."
"Instead of this merciless, life-stealing poison, we'll share delicacies like this wine I brought."
"Fine wine, to brighten and enrich our lives."
"And then... Romeo-sama, we'll kiss over and over again, just like this."
Wataru: "God. If you have any mercy, please let there be even a drop of poison left in this person's mouth."
"Amen."
“......”
Hokuto: "...Is someone over there?"
"For just a moment, I was in a dream. A dream so happy that all the tragedy that befell me today seemed trivial."
"In it, Lady Juliet arrives at this church, and finds me dead."
"In her grief, to bid me farewell, she grants me many kisses."
"Those kisses breathe life into me, and in a miracle of God's mercy, I am revived like a blooming flower."
"In joint delight of our reunion, we marry in some far away utopia, and hold a celebratory feast."
"Aah, a dream is a dream! But isn't it one so sweet?"
"A dream it may be, but if the mere shadow of a glorious future can make me so happy..."
"How joyous would it be if it became reality, if true love were able to be given?"
"...What is it, is there someone over there? Why aren't they responding?"
"......"
"Aah... Am I still dreaming? What a horrific nightmare, if so!"
"Lady Juliet! Why are you in a place such as this? Within the darkness...?"
"Aah, someone! Tell me it's a joke! Lady Juliet, my love, is laying dead here!"
"What sort of fate is this, God! Should I even believe in the likes of you anymore!?"
"Lady, Lady Juliet... Aah, to the very end, did you really not give a single piece of your love to me?"
"With just the slightest bit of poison left in the mouth of a man like this, you depart to the kingdom of heaven... Did you really love this fiend that much?"
"This man, who's turned dusky and discoloured like a dead tree... Is the man you got engaged to the other day, Paris."
[Act 8 • Directory • Act 10]
#enstars translation#ensemble stars#wataru hibiki#hokuto hidaka#enstars#ensemble stars translation#performance! the tragicomedy of romeo and juliet
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
💙 for Étoile please! 💙
betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?
midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?
Betrayal
Betrayal is such a fun concept to explore but is so confusing for Étoile specifically while I waffle on what I want to do about Gale and the crown.
There's been like 4 updates to the end game cutscenes (not the epilogue) and every time I expected to get a new dialogue option for Étoile when Gale says he's going to return the Crown to Mystra. Gale should know that they (everyone but especially Étoile) promised the Crown to Raphael.
Here's a longer post about the Epilogue with Étoile.
So whether you consider Étoile's decision a betrayal of Gale or not because they told him to his face their intention, or Gale's return of the Crown to Mystra a betrayal to Étoile knowing it would condemn their soul while I remain indecisive about when Gale's actions would be obvious to them — I'll leave that up to interpretation for now.
Besides this, breaking their Oath and risking the favor of their God could be considered a betrayal of sorts to either of their mothers or against Auril herself, though I have my own interpretation of alliance to a Paladin Order vs favor of a God.
While in their canon I've made decisions about Karlach and magical coolant, in the game-compliant timeline, Étoile also feels as though they betrayed Karlach by not offering to go to the Hells with her.
Surely they've also been betrayed in their years as an adventurer in payment and fair exchange, but these people are dead or forgotten.
Midnight
Étoile primarily does not have "nightmares" because I am so adamant about Étoile not needing natural sleep as an elf. I fully support people who are like elves sleep because I want them to, but this magical bullshit is very dear to me for some reason, maybe even just because I started sticking my heels in the ground and now I can't get out of here in true Taurus behaviour. ANYWAY.
Étoile is kept up by grief and guilt, for people they killed, for decisions they made, for people they failed to save, for people they failed to feel guilty about when they killed them, for their own lost potential, for the lost potential of lives they ended — especially of people who were of shorter-lived races than their own.
They're a Paladin, so to deal with this, they pray. Not for forgiveness, because they're still praying to Auril. They'd pray that the dead found their way to their gods, and that they would yet find their way to her when they pass, and that in the meanwhile that her favor and guidance be made obvious in the world, to provide a sense of comfort and purpose in the path they walk (still killing people; even if they'd remained Neutral Good, bandits and worse are still people).
Otherwise they might read, and they like reading about other people's religions, to see what motivates them or their people, to better understand others through this facet that so thoroughly defines themself.
In place of nightmares, when in reverie, Étoile might end up fixating on a subject or a moment, overwhelming themself with bad memories or worse feelings.
Breaking their Oath is one of the most important moments of this, where memories of their lessons, their oath, their peers, their Paladin mother, would leave them feeling adrift, "unworthy" and broken. They would wonder how they were supposed to save their companions, and eventually also all of the Chosen Three's victims, if they'd already failed at saving themself — they will survive the journey but not as they were, not as they spent their whole life, a century and a half, moulding themself.
And then it passes or morning comes, and they have to act normally until the adventure is over.
It meant a lot of sympathy, solidarity and love for Shadowheart when she went through something similar. It meant a lot of impatience for the staff of the Circus of the Last Days.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
"And judgment is coming for them" Ah. So nothing will happen to them and you're just being complicit. Who's judgement are we taking anyway? God? According to Christians, it's just something you deserve because God hates you. Spare the rod spoil the child, right?
Judgments that God had given to people for sinning:
Let's not forget the countless times God has relinquished the Israelites to be conquered by other nations for
1.) Worshipping other gods, murdering their own people, stealing from their own, dealing very unkindly with their poor and unfortunate
2.) refusing to repent
3.) Killing the prophets who tell them to repent and GIVE THEM A FAIR WARNING of coming judgment if they DON'T repent. [Even then they STILL didn't repent until God brought judgment upon the nation, then ofc He saved them cause He is a GOOD AND MERCIFUL GOD.
And what about you, anon? Are you certain you don't deserve judgment for your sins? I have some news for you. God judges our sins. And we have ALL sinned.
Jesus took this judgment upon Himself by His crucifixion and death. “He suffered death so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone” (Hebrews 2:9). Because our sin was judged at the cross, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). It was also at the cross that God pronounced judgment on the unbelieving world and on the enemy of our souls, Satan. As Jesus said shortly before His arrest, “Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out” (John 12:31).
If you arent living in Christ, if you haven't repented and put your faith in Christ, judgment is still on your head, because you owe a debt of sin you can never repay yourself. The only way for that debt to be forgiven is through Jesus, all other ways lead to hell.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kid's Pirate King Ambition
*disclaimer that it relates to my fic*
Ahem -
So when I started my fic "Turn Back Time" my concept for the West Peninsula was a smaller scale version of modern America. Ruled by a government body that coded the laws that just so happen to squeeze and exploit the working class for everything they have, but also cushion themselves and other elite types. This inspires a revolutionary type mindset for the main characters, even before they met the pirates; and when I wrote them relating these things to the pirates, I wrote the pirates as having had vague familiarity with those types of issues but never elaborated beyond hahah set fire to things! Chaos! ANARCHY!
Providing excerpts below but also highly encouraging you to read my fic cause I think its fun and cute and hope you think so too. Shilling over.
Read below to be razzle dazzled by my prophetic mind of Eustass Kid's ambition to be King of the Pirates.
These happen during different scenes in different chapters so I'll only copy/paste the important lines. Further clarifying to warn; if you click the links you may be directed to a chapter that contains smut or other TW content so read the summary/header if there is one!
Chapter 7: context - a community relief event is happening the next day that the island "rebels" want to use as cover to get "revenge" on the corrupt island officials -
Tommy walked towards the pirates, “yeah and um, at around 8 we’re having a meeting. We’re planning to target the island official buildings and their personal estates during the purge. Nothing too crazy but we could use a strategist’s mind or two for deviancy.”
“Ohh I don’t know Tommy. They might call our plans too pussyfooted and try to convince us to burn it all to the ground,” Andrea smirked, squeezing Kid’s shoulder.
“Aye, destroying the established order is the only way to invoke real change,” his face twisted in a devilish smirk.
Chapter 9: context - hijacking the "rebels" plans to make the sting of their "revenge" more real to people who think they're untouchable.
Kid strode to the middle of the room and commanded attention. “OI!” he glared at everyone. “Your plan is fucking stupid. Instead of targeting the institutions that control you, take it to their personal homes and lives. Your dumb as shit bylaws state that anything is fair game during this purge and any damage or injury caused during it is automatically forgiven. So take the fight to those fuckers houses.” He dropped the paintball guns into a pile on the floor.
<later in the story>
Looking down at her baggy, padded pants and oversized sweater, she shrugged. “You ever been shot with a paintball pellet? Fucking hurts.”
Barking with laughter, “I’ve been shot with real bullets, ya wuss.”
Chapter 12: context - a party on the ship where Kid celebrates his bounty raise and his crew.
“What started out as humble beginnings from the South Blue rabidly turned into a ship full of rad monsters quickly rising through the ranks of the pirate world. As it stands, we are the most prominent pirates, the lead in the Worst Generation rankings, and it’s about fucking time we’ve been recognized as such. The government is so quick to condemn a mere crucifixion of rival pirates but willingly turns a blind eye to the atrocities committed by World Nobles, royal kingdoms, even the Seven Warlords of the Sea – keeping pirates on the fucking payroll!” Kid spat on the ground.
“No real pirates ally themselves with marines or the government. We will never submit to them or anyone else!” he roared, his crew cheering him on with only a few concerned glances from the island folks intermittently in the crowd.
Raising his glass, everyone on deck mirrored his actions. “We are the future of piracy and we will dismantle the order of the world so it’s no longer ruled by scum!”
The response was thunderous. Andrea was impressed with his charismatic speech, the way he commanded everyone’s attention and even had civilians praising and cheering his speech. The islanders were not all naïve, they understood the way the island officials used the laws they wrote and capitalism to keep themselves above the rest; the division of class by wage and power had fractured the community long ago. She had only ever dreamed someone like Kid lived on her island to lead the people to revolt. She’d be happy with Kid himself leading it but he didn’t seem like the type to settle down. Wishful thinking. The Captain turned his head back to glance at her, Andrea raised her glass and took a long sip, raising the tequila bottle teasingly.
------- ok now the King of the Pirates ambition hook------
Kid understands Andrea's desires to not live in a confined world. He understands her frustrations with the system of exploitation on her island but doesn't have the means to do anything about it. He relates to her and likes her so much more for it. She's exactly the type of person he wants on his crew, and the fact that they have a thing only makes it better in his opinion. So now we have a full ship of pirate anarchists trying to achieve Kid's dream.
To be King of the Pirates and change shit up. The world is ruled by scum so he's gonna wipe it out and put himself on top. Will he be worse? Who knows.
Kid grew up in rough ass streets and he knows how corrupt people can be and what corrupt power looks like. He ain't about to be anyone's bitch boy. Not anymore. That's why he's so brutal. He wants people to fear and respect him. He wants to be King of the Pirates because he wants people to know that a fucking prick runt from the South Blue made it this high in life. And with the power and wealth of finding the One Piece, he will be coming for the Navy, The World Government and the Celestial Dragons. Anyone getting in his way is dead meat. He's not doing it because it necessarily liberates everyone else - he's doing it because they tried to fuck with him and he is saying FUCK YOU right in their faces. By smashing their faces in with his fists.
I'm not entirely sure he really cares all that much about the history of the world beyond professional curiosity. He's not trying to be a hero liberator. He's just a monster they created who is getting revenge. Revenge being fueled by the World Government/Navy allowing a corrupt criminal gang take over and ruin his island/and also may have facilitated the murder of his parents, to kill his first love, to try and kill him. Fueled by anger at the hypocrisy of the World Nobles and of Justice by the Navy since they do much worse, he's just upfront about his actions instead of hiding behind the scenes. He's a tough nut to crack because he keeps everything close to the (huge breasteses) heart. Everyone he has ever loved or cared about is dead outside of his crew. He doesn't want to love or care for anyone else because he might even feel like his love gets these people killed. So his only drive now is to make it out on top - then when the dust settles, he'll enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Anyways that's all I had, unless more comes up and then I'll respond to this post. This was all fueled by my outlining some future chapters and it made me wonder how my main OC characters would react if they learned about their past in passing from an original crewmember that isn't the big 4. A big smooch for you if you made it this far.
#op spoilers#one piece sbs#sbs spoiler#swampstew stories#swampstew#raven's rantings#raven's oc lore drop#turn back time#eustass kid#kid pirates#eustass kid x oc#killer x oc#tinfoil hat theory#eustasscaptainkid
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to be old, and I explain why
There are a lot of stereotypes about old people. Many of us think they are incompetent and unable to enjoy life, depressed and miserable. But is it true? I did a bit of research and realised that these people are one of the happiest and most fulfilled groups of the world population. It turned out that these people live a calm and joyful life. But why in our world is everyone so terrified of the prospect of becoming older? In my opinion, there are stereotypes which prevent us from seeing aging as it is — a natural process which no one of us can avoid.
Modern beauty industries sell us the idea that only youth is beautiful and only young people deserve love and care. On TV and on the Internet we see attractive models with thin waists, skinny belly and smooth skin. There is almost no representation of old people in the mass media, did you notice? There is only energy, health, and liveliness on the faces of teenagers and young adults. It seems like beauty industries associate these concepts only with youth.
Anti-age. Doesn’t this word sound weird to you? What do surgery clinics and cosmetics companies mean by this word, actually? Does they try to convince us that the laws of nature are wrong and we should turn time back? I think it is ridiculous. It’s like when I am 29, I suddenly wish to be a 12-year-old girl again. Why should I want it? Why anyone should want something like this?
But I can explain how it works. Beauty companies instill women with fear that nobody will love them if they become old. They told us that smooth skin is beautiful, whereas wrinkles and gray hair are ugly. I just wonder, does anybody really believe in that? Because seriously, these companies just make money this way. I searched how much surgery clinics earned on liposuction, botox and facelifting and goddamn, these numbers exploded my mind. Companies make money on women’s fears, and women obediently go under the surgeon’s knife or waste money on expensive and useless creams. Is it actually legal?
After all these horrific facts I found old people’s opinions, where they explain their perception of life. It turned out for me that actually the older we get, the happier we are. Aging has some unique benefits which are unavailable to you when you are young. For example, when you become old you really don’t care anymore what people think about you. You can say what you really think, wear weird clothes or sniff cocaine. It's up to you and your imagination. No one will condemn you as much as if you were young.
Besides, you can relax more. Nobody expects you to join the gym, become a parent or build a career. Why? Because probably you already do some of these things and if you didn’t, who cares now? You are too old to start this kind of serious project. No one can tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, because it’s just not appropriate to tell things like this to old people.
Also, with age time became shorter, so you begin to comprehend life as it is. Stupid problems and unimportant concerns doesn’t worry you anymore. Sunsets, conversations with friends, walks in the nature: all these things become more precious to you. You simply start to appreciate everything around you more and understand that life is a treasure.
Also, since with age you get more skills and understanding of life, you become wiser and calmer. Probably, you have more financial security and free time for hobbies and interests than you had when you were young. Thus, you become more happy and can live as you like.
I think we should give more attention to aging and get rid of our prejudices about old people. Firstly, the despair of aging is simply a lie, and secondly, it’s not fair in relation to old people. Old age might be happier than we actually think, and I am waiting with curiosity for the days when I become an elder.
#aging#aging process#habits#nutrition and aging#female#eldercare#old people#psychotherapy#psychology#opinion#self care#culture#reading
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Manuscript Search Tag
Thanks for tagging me, @on-noon and @aohendo! :D
Words: miss, assist, guess, issue, mess, clear, crisp, crystal, cower and cover. These are from TPATG, Totentanz and LSOHG:
Miss:
Arafaren sank down onto the bench with the air of one who had just been condemned to death. Looking up at her with an attempt at defiance he said, "You're hardly one to talk, Miss Necromancer!"
Assist Help:
"Do you indeed? I thought you despised me and everyone associated with me." Rusudan Lajareshvalë idly picked up one of the decorative stones on the café table and spun it around like a spinning top. "Or was I mistaken when I heard Princess Ketevan Diashamijë was leading a campaign to exile government officials who came to me for help?"
Guess:
Siarvin had never had much experience with comforting people after traumatic events. He made an educated guess based on normal people's interactions and came to the conclusion hugging Ilaran might help, and at any rate was unlikely to make things worse. Ilaran stiffened when Siarvin first hugged him. For a minute Siarvin worried he'd made a mistake and was actually making things worse. Then Ilaran flung his arms around him and hugged him back.
Issue:
There was only one good thing about being sent back to an earlier time. The skrýszel didn't attack. Diarnlan woke up every morning expecting to hear the only-too-familiar crash of their footsteps. Every morning she heard nothing but the sea and the birds flying overhead -- and sometimes Karandren doing gods-knew-what in his room. Judging by the metallic screeching and earth-shaking explosions that issued from it at random moments, he was doing his best to blow them sky-high.
Mess:
"We've got to get back home as quickly as possible," Abi said. "It's not fair to leave Mirio in that mess."
"That mess you got him into," Lian muttered. "Has it not occurred to you that when we go home, I'll be expected to marry him because of your idiocy?"
Clear:
The world was spinning around Hariye. The ground no longer felt solid beneath his feet and his stomach seemed to have tied itself in knots. The only thing that remained steady and clear in the room was the necklace. It seemed to laugh at him when it glittered.
Crisp:
The combination of dragon-fire and phoenix-fire quickly cleared the entire theatre. Unfortunately it also burnt the stage and many of the chairs to a crisp. Abi kept a mental tally of all the damage and how much it was likely to cost. In addition to that fine to Haliran she would have to pay for repairs to the theatre.
Crystal Jewellery:
No living human had ever seen a mer. The only surviving evidence of their existence was in the drawings in historical documents and the jewellery made from their iridescent scales. But Ketevan had seen enough of those drawings to know what they looked like. They had gills at their neck, patches of scales on their face, upper arms, and torso, frilly fins along their arms and back, and below the waist they had a long tail like a fish's.
Cower:
Finally the knock came. Hariye almost jumped out of his skin, because instead of the front door it was at the back. For a terrible moment he was frozen, afraid to go anywhere in case the person outside saw him. How did he know there was only one? The house could be surrounded for all he knew. Then anger took over. He was a prince, damn it! He wasn't going to cower in a strange house like a criminal hiding from the police!
Cover:
"Abi’s being an idiot again," Irímé said, which was vague enough to cover just about everything and almost certainly accurate too. Then the other part of Ilaran's remarks sank in. "Wait, what do you mean, another assassin?"
Tagging @darlingsmoon, @scarletteflamerald, @junypr-camus, @fearofahumanplanet, @butahumbleguest, and anyone else who wants to do this! :D New words: simple, memorise, stammer, arrogant and accidental.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Telk Qadeya lyrics in English
THIS IS AN ISSUE
They save sea turtles
They kill human animals
But this is one issue, and that’s another
How to become a white angel?
Bear half a conscience
Fight for freedom movements
Annihilate liberation movements
Distribute your compassion and tenderness
Over the killed according to nationality
But this is one issue, and that’s another
How to become civilized
Abiding by all terms and conditions
Make all your words righteous
Take trees into your arms
Sugarcoat titles and names
While an army demolishes a nearby school
And when caught red-handed… with blood
Say everyone’s a victim
But this is one issue, and that’s another
How can I believe this world?
When it talks about humanity?
Seeing a mother lamenting her child
Who died in a raid… hungry
Making a killer on par with their victim
With all honesty and fairness
But this is one issue, and that’s another
How can I sleep peacefully?
Plugging my ears
While a family is buried under the rubble of its home
Forsaken… denied rescue
As if the earth in which they’re buried
Is not of this earth
But this is one issue, and that’s another
How to live in an open prison
With bars of fire and ashes
Raise from the rubble
Grab your killer by the neck
Gather your remains and fight
And show the deceiving world
How the law of the jungle is forced
Where’s the route to freedom
How to take on a tank barehanded
It doesn’t matter if the world speaks out
Die free… don’t live in submission
Inspire generation after generation
How to live and die for a cause
What world are we calling for
To denounce and condemn?
Condemn all you want
For any condemnation of crimes in the slaughterhouse
Won’t soften the powder’s charge
And won’t bring back daylight
But this’s one issue…
And that’s an honorable struggle…
Thank you so much for this translation, Omar. May Palestine be free .
Translator: Omar Mousa
0 notes
Text
Bowynn Tradition Virtues {Hylin}
The following are the Sacred Seven virtues {Hylin} of the Bowynn faith. These seven virtues are one of many attributes of the Bowynn Holy Symbol, the Numatam:
Peace {Del}
Peacefulness is an inner sense of calm. It comes especially in quiet moments of reflection or gratitude. It is getting very quiet and looking at things so you can understand them. Peacefulness is a way of approaching conflict with others so that no one is made wrong. It is being fair to others and yourself. Peace is giving up the love of power for the power of love. With peacefulness, everyone wins. Practicing peacefulness helps to create a calm mind free from worry. When you are peaceful, you respect others and their differences. People around you feel calm and safe. Without peace, no one is safe. People get hurt. Fighting doesn’t solve problems, and no one every really wins a war. With peacefulness, any problem can be solved. Peace in the world begins with peace in your heart. To find inner peace, become very still and think peaceful thoughts. Observe and think about your feelings, like anger, instead of acting with anger. To be a peacemaker, use peaceful language instead of name-calling, yelling or gossiping. Avoid aggressive or violent actions. Talk things out and listen to the other person too. Then look for a peaceful solution. Peacemakers find there are lots of creative ways to solve any problem.
Charity {Artaejen}
A person in need of charity is somebody who risks the loss of some very strong and stable desires. These include basic desires such as a desire for a warm place to sleep on a cold winter’s night, a desire for food and clean water to drink, a desire for health, and, in some cases, a desire to go on living. When a person has a desire to help fulfill the particularly strong desires of others, then an act of charity fulfills not only the desires of those to whom he gives, but his own desires as well. Some people state that part of the value of giving to charity is the pleasure that it provides to those who do the giving. However, this pleasure is contingent. This is a learned desire – a desire brought about by the use of social tools such as praise (of those who are charitable) and condemnation (of those who are selfish). People in general have many and strong reasons to praise those who are charitable, and to condemn those who are selfish. Any one of us could end up in a situation where some of our strongest and most stable desires are at risk – where we are without a home or suffer some severe threat to our health and long life. But we must remember to give because it is the right thing to do. Not because we expect good things in return.
Love {Brend}
We often think of love as an emotion we experience, an emotion characterized by the desire to be close to another person, the sense of cozy pleasure we feel in a relationship. This emotional aspect of love is usually perceived as warmth, attraction, intimacy, closeness and excitement. If we limit our understanding of love to the experience of transient emotions alone, we are on extremely unstable ground. Whether we enjoy someone's company or not, whether we admire their character or not, we can still honor a person from a spiritual perspective simply because, we are all created from the same spirit. In this definition of love we make a commitment to remember the truth of our oneness and treat others with respect and kindness no matter if they are worthy of such sentiments or not. Loving another person in this way is respecting their divinity, which is the same as ours. This is a reliable foundation for a positive relationship. When we find ourselves angry or fearful, all love is not lost. We must turn our attention to the principle of love, which calls us to be gentle, kind and to treat others with respect despite the life-constricting emotions of anger and fear. This concept of love is what the ancient Greeks called Agape love -- a love that honors all others. When we have love to give, we can express it with respect, kind words and actions, even when the conditions don't seem to warrant loving-kindness. To foster love, we have to be honest in little and big matters. To demonstrate love, we can give our undivided attention whether we are at work or at home. Just silently listening and being present can be a loving gesture. Never forget that love can be applied to any problem. Since this life is short, savor moments by being fun-loving and relishing connections with others. Each day, make a conscious choice to live lovingly and express love to yourself and others.
Courage {Baraej}
Courage is one of those virtues necessary to living a good life. Usually, the first thing that comes to mind when we think of courage is bravery in the face of a threat, yet it is so much more. It is the ability to choose the point that lies between cowardice and recklessness in any circumstance. Courage takes many forms. Examples include the courage to do what is right, the courage of facing a personal fear, the courage to accept unpopularity, the courage to endure physical or mental pain for the sake of self-improvement, the courage to push forward through frustration,
the courage to tell the truth, the courage to change, the courage to act, the courage to trust, the courage to love, the courage to commit, and many more. How do you make a habit of courage? This is not an easy undertaking, as you will have to overcome years of habits associated with making uncourageous decisions. First, let me suggest that you have to believe that practicing courage is a worthy pursuit. Developing courage will allow you to be more in control of your life as opposed to letting outside circumstances dictate your actions. Another place to start is by developing the habit of being truthful. Telling the truth often requires courage because it may get you or someone you care about into trouble. Yet we inherently know it is the right thing to do. There is a selfish benefit to this strategy and that is people will respect you for this virtue. They may not always like it, but they will respect it. They will come to know that you are always telling them the truth and they will appreciate you for that quality.
Kindness {Skirnlee}
Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a person treats others. Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes. Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years. The attributes of thoughtfulness and kindness are inseparably linked. Kindness is not a duty or an ethic either; it is an expression of personal virtue that flows from and is rooted in love, which is at the heart of all virtue. Kindness begins in the heart. In fact, many languages have words that are translated as "loving-kindness" or "kind-heartedness," which is kindness that goes beyond the minimum requirements of civility. Kindness is really more than being nice, polite or agreeable, but instead has more to do with our being than our behavior. It cannot be faked. Kindness softens hearts, lifts spirits and molds relationships. The value of our lives is best measured not by the material possessions we've acquired, but by the hearts we've touched, because who we are is far more important than what we have. Everything we do affects not only our own life, but touches other lives, too.
Spirituality {Tya'oamima}
A person with Spirituality will have firm beliefs about the meaning of the universe. Such people attach their life to something higher than themselves. Being spiritual may make it easier for a person to cope with difficult life events. Spirituality is not just about religious beliefs although the two are closely connected. People with religious beliefs have been shown to be able to cope with stress and handle difficult events when they arise. In religion, transcendence refers to the aspect of a god's nature and power which is wholly independent of the material universe, beyond all physical laws. This is contrasted with immanence, where a god is said to be fully present in the physical world and thus accessible to creatures in various ways. In religious experience transcendence is a state of being that has overcome the limitations of physical existence and by some definitions has also become independent of it. This is typically manifested in prayer, séance, meditation, psychedelics and paranormal "visions". It is affirmed in the concept of the divine in various religious traditions, and contrasts with the notion of a god, or the Absolute, existing exclusively in the physical order or indistinguishable from it (pantheism). Spirituality can be attributed to the divine not only in its being, but also in its knowledge. Thus, a god may transcend both the universe and knowledge (is beyond the grasp of the human mind). Although transcendence is defined as the opposite of immanence, the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Some theologians and metaphysicians of various religious traditions affirm that a god is both within and beyond the universe; in it, but not of it; simultaneously pervading it and surpassing it.
Balance {Bia}
Balance is defined as “stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis,” “equipoise between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements,” or “an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements,” according to Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary. Balance is that spiritual straightness and stability that resists all influences to turn or deviate from the right path. It is the characteristic of righteousness that refuses to be allured, intimidated, or bullied into diverting from the assigned course. It resists reducing or exaggerating the truth, recognizing that error or excess in either direction, for any reason, remains error and excess. It is important to remember that balance is a godly virtue. It is clearly displayed in the nature of Bia itself. Bia is absolutely perfect in all holiness. Bia is pure and just in judgment, yet Bia’s mercy endures forever. Bia’s law reveals this virtue, calling for separation from the heathen, yet to love strangers, remembering they are strangers to others. Finally, it must be understood that balance is an attainable virtue. That is not to say anyone will achieve perfect balance, but real and lasting progress can be made to achieve greater balance in life. If we keep our eyes on one unchanging, immovable focus, if we strive to become only what the gods want us to be and all that they want us to be, we will live with greater balance. Thus, we work to achieve balance for ourselves and others. Where the scales of balance are overweighed, we attempt to restore them into place, be it with physical labor, spiritual or metaphysical.
1 note
·
View note
Text
❝ look, i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here. ❞ from @eidetic187
scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real. cormac mccarthy. yes, these were scars she held and scars she shunned from the rest of the world and their CONDEMNING eyes. when you were troubled, you were troubled until you proved yourself to be otherwise. you were broken until you dusted yourself off and not only fixed yourself up, but came back a thousand times stronger. people don’t like that, though. they want someone to make you stronger, someone more capable of cheering for, and she thinks this to be true ( why else do they value his word over hers? ). so when spencer catches her after they’ve landed back in quantico, juno is less than strong. on the inside, falling ill. on the outside, she is unphased.
juno is not shaken by today’s events. no profiler is because that’s just how life is. that’s what their line of work entails and you just deal with it. you move on, because that isn’t your person to grieve over. no, her person was buried thousands of miles away. that poor girl they buried today was not her sister. even if the case reminded juno of her, whatever image of her lay intact. she was not rosie. she had not let rosie down again, no? no. there isn’t anything to be upset about, this was how things played along. people died all the time, reid could tell her that. in an instant, he could tell her that if she just asked. people died because of each other, for each other, and sometimes at fault of the other all the damn time. why is now any different? and if reid, slow to certain cues, can see it, can everyone?
“ what are you talking about? ” she sounds hollow, tired, and even a little drowsy. to be fair, juno did not catch a wink of sleep the entire way back. she stared into her lap or outside the window, counted the tiny blocks cut out beneath them and would think of those flashcards her sister had brought her home one day. it is something she thinks about, a lot. what if rosita had lived? what if juno was never destined to be alone and she’d held onto her sister’s hand a minute longer? what if they had both died in that alleyway? would anyone have known their names? would the bau be any different without her?
she removes his hand from her elbow, diligently, because she knows he so rarely initiates this. if her sorrow morphs into rage she would not let it rain down on spencer. even if he had dismissed her idea earlier, even if he managed to make her feel so small, she would not do this to him. “ i don’t know what you’re implying, i’m fine. just tired. ” a step away from him and that book bag of his, always seemingly stuffed full with whatever it is he insisted he carry with him to the opposite end of the country. he looks at her and she knows he doesn’t believe her. there is a lot to dislike about him and this is on the top of her list. when he THINKS he knows her. when he can see all of her, but she’s in control. she has to be. she is. is that why she says it?
“ actually. let’s just, entertain the idea that i DID want to talk. would it be with you, doctor? ” a new tone taking over, suddenly quite alive and awake. shoes stepping closer to him and this is different. unusual. when she says doctor there is always an air of familiarity and jest to it, never anguish. never bitterness. “ hey, who knows! maybe you’ll go run off to hotch again. you didn’t have to do that, y’know? you could’ve just said it to my face. i can handle that, i don’t need you to look out for ME. ” there is a change in him because the spencer she knew, before, those years ago, would never do that. if she told him something he would honor their trust. he’d keep it between them, even if he believed it to be a jeopardizing move. he would tell her and she would trust him. his judgment. that would be all. “ or whatever it is you think you’re doing. ” if only she had bit her tongue like she always has.
1 note
·
View note
Text
it's what everyone wishes for. that if you love someone, that would be enough to enable you to save them - that love, that having every desire to keep someone from harm, is enough to empower you to do what you otherwise are incapable of doing. that is hardly ever how things play out, but it's what is wanted. if you are loved, all will be okay, if you love them, you can make it okay. the inverse - that if it is impossible to save you, it would mean that you are not loved, that none want to help, and this denial is also mercy. it preserves the wished-for image of the world: one where as long as people will it, things can be made okay. it is not so.
of course there is more to chew on with it... getting to valuing more than the results/final outcome when you want and want and want, how to bear living in the world that is not moved by human wishes reliably, and other things that i do not feel like touching on just yet.
there is never a pain that cannot be understood. i was looking for affirmation of my humanity in the wrong place as a child: not just a vague "among the living", but among the living who revile the dead, because of what death means to people who cannot bear to confront their own mortality, fallibility, the impermanence of everything, etc. and with the dead, anyone who is suffering too, is a threat to the belief in the wished-for world where if you want it to be okay, it will be okay, because wanting imbues you with power always, and nothing is out of your control, and if it is, it is in the control of something that is fair and values life above all. death, suffering, struggle, pain, failure, all have to be pushed out of awareness or rationalized, made comfortable, given higher meaning - have to fit into the fair and always-good-always-just-always-okay. seeking anything from those with such a worldview, while being needy and suffering and powerless, is guaranteed to only add to the pain.
the further i go from one side of the door, and the closer i get to the other, the more i see it is not what i thought it to be while i was desperate to gain a place in the world of those live persons. it is much more understanding, and life-allowing, there is room for me, it is not doom and it is not condemnation and it is not even failure. to confront all the ways people can experience such things and have space to allow for that doesn't equal wishing for that for everyone, or for me, or forsaking all things that are wished for, even. it is very much material.
0 notes
Text
I’m thinking a bit about my relationship to religion, especially when I was a child. My family had never been super religious. My dad was Christian but was quiet about it, he didn’t tend to talk about it much, I only got to hear his beliefs on rare occasions when I was in high school and college, when I was old enough to hold an informed conversation with. My mom wasn’t religious, she’s since told me that if she believes anything it’s in the power of nature and she thinks most organized religions are arrogant to claim they know what a higher power wants, but she felt she should at least expose me to religion as a child because it seemed right since that’s how she was raised.
As a child we went to church on Sundays until I was in 3rd grade, then we stopped because we moved and my mom didn’t like any of the churches in the area. I’d gone to a preschool run by the church we went to. I remember some of what I’d learned from there—you reap what you sow, and that vanity is a sin. Except I took that second one to mean ‘caring about your appearance is a waste of time and you should let people judge you on who you are not how you look’. I’ve carried that lesson throughout my life, even if it isn’t exactly what they meant to teach. When my mom tried to shake me for my weight or my acne as a teen, I took that as a character flaw on her end not mine, because I’d decided that the people who care about me do despite those things, and if she couldn’t hold to the very lessons she’d had me learn then that was on her. I’ve never been self conscious about my looks, regardless of bullies or my mom, because of that one lesson I took in the wrong direction in the best way.
I remember when I quit being religious. I wouldn’t say I quit believing in a higher power—I still think there’s an afterlife and I acknowledge there could be a god or gods—I’m just not Christian anymore or following any particular organized religion. It was because of something I saw online when I was in middle school. I’d had friends from all walks of life—a Jewish friend, a Chinese friend who followed her own personal religion, an atheist friend, amongst others. So when one day I read a post by a Christian about how nonbelievers would go to hell, and how trying to convert them was a kindness to try to save them, I felt revolted. My friends were good people, even if they believed something different than me. A good god, a kind god, surely wouldn’t condemn them to hell just because they believed something different. And what about people who were never exposed to Christianity? Were they damned from the start with no chance? That wasn’t right. That wasn’t fair. I couldn’t accept that. If that’s what Christians were preaching, then Christians were wrong. There was room in this world for all religious beliefs. Who was I to say which religion was true—if any? Maybe parts of all of them were. It struck me as arrogant and cruel to claim you knew the one true way and everyone else would be punished for not following you. So I disavowed the beliefs I’d held all my life.
I used to believe Jesus lived in my heart. Literally, I thought I could feel Jesus guiding me when I was doing something right or wrong. I quit feeling that after I quit believing—but I didn’t need it, I never actually did.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
catcrazygirl
Kittens and Coke Zero
missadacackle
Ada
shilpasethi
Shilpa Sethi
greenridge823
Untitled