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daisynik7 · 7 months

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Pairing: Takuma Ino x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.7k

cw: explicit language, mentions of a popular horror movie, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), nipple play, blow job, mask kink, slight degradation (slut, whore), use of pet names (cutie, sweetie, baby)

Summary: You and your new boyfriend Ino decide to watch a horror movie together in honor of spooky season. Halfway through, he notices how skittish you are, making him want to play a silly prank on you with his signature ski mask. It’s all fun and games until he realizes that you actually like seeing him in this way more than he anticipated.

Author’s Note: Happy October y'all! What can I say, I am VERY into Takuma Ino right now and I just had to get this out of my system. This is barely edited or proofread, sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos, I really was just letting my fingers fly through this in a moment of passion LOL. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading! MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune.

You turn off all the lights, the only source of illumination coming from the TV screen, paused at the very start of the movie you decided to watch tonight. With a big bowl of freshly popped kernels in your grasp, you huddle beside your boyfriend, Ino, on the couch, covering both your legs with a fleece blanket. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you in closer, reaching to grab a handful of popcorn to stuff inside his mouth. “Ready?” he muffles, pointing the remote to the screen, finger pressed to the center button.

Nuzzling your head against him, you answer. “Yup!”

It’s apparently one of those cult classic horror flicks according to Ino, who recommended it when you mentioned how you wanted to watch something scary for October. He’s seen it before, many times in fact, but he insists that you watch it. He has no clue how frightened you get over the silliest things, so tonight will be a treat for the both of you.

The opening scene plays out: a beautiful blonde picks up the phone and the conversation ends quickly short because it’s the wrong number. Normal so far, good. It rings again, but now the caller seems interested in talking. Do you like scary movies? Do you have a boyfriend? The man’s voice gives you the creeps, and you find yourself shuddering from it, cuddling closer to Ino, who glances at you with a smirk on his face.

You never told me your name.

Why do you want to know my name?

Because I want to know who I’m looking at.

This line gives you goosebumps and you lift the blankets up to hide behind it. “Ew, creepy!” Ino only laughs, throwing a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

It escalates from here, getting increasingly chaotic and violent. By the time you’re halfway into the film, the bowl is down to its last kernels and you’re crouched in Ino’s lap, peeking through your fingers. He pauses the movie after one particularly brutal kill. “Snack break! I’m going to make some more popcorn and go pee.”

“You’re leaving?!” you whine, clinging on to him as he tries to get up.

He chuckles. “Babe! It’s just a movie. I’ll be right back, okay?” He kisses you on the forehead, heading into the kitchen, leaving you alone in the living room.

Of course it’s just a movie, but you can’t help feeling creeped out in the dark like this. You reach for one of the nightstands, turning on the lamp. You hear the drone of the microwave, and after a minute or so, the distinct sound of popping. Eventually, it comes to a stop, and the entire house is eerily quiet. You’re tempted to call out for Ino, wondering where he is, but you remember that he had to use the bathroom.

Suddenly, a shadowy figure appears right behind on you on the couch, grabbing your shoulders and shouting gibberish at you. You scream bloody murder, ready to punch him and run away when Ino lifts his ski mask up to reveal himself, tears streaming down his face, cracking up at you.

“Ino!” you yell at him, slapping his hands away from you. “You fucking asshole!”

He doubles over, cackling, wiping his eyes. It takes a good while for him to regain his composure as you glare at him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I just couldn’t resist.” He sits beside you, stretching his arms out for a hug. “You have to admit, that was fucking hilarious.”

You shake your head, refusing. “You’re such a dick.”

“Oh, come on! It was just a little prank. Now you’ll be way more prepared for the rest of the movie!” He pulls the mask over his face again, everything covered except the holes for his eyes. “See? Not so scary anymore, right?”

You inspect him carefully, still pouting, not saying a word.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Truly. I promise not to scare you again.” He scoots towards you, nudging you in the arm.

You roll your eyes at him, relaxing. “Fine.”

“Can I get a kiss now?”

He tries to lift his mask up, but you stop him, pulling it back down. “I don’t want to see your face right now. I’m still annoyed, you know.”

“Aw man! Really?”

You hoist it just past his nose, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. When you break apart, he smirks at you. “You like this, don’t you? Seeing me with my mask on.”

You shrug, a sly grin on your face, neither confirming nor denying his accusation. Sure, you were a bit upset at first, when he scared the shit out of you. But seeing his face covered like that may have sparked a desire in you that you never knew you had, until now.

“Oh my god! You do, you do!” he exclaims, shaking your arm. “My cutie has a mask kink!”

“Shut up, asshole!” you yell at him, pretending to shove him off, smiling.

“You’re a fucking freak!” he giggles, pouncing on you. He starts tickling you along your ribcage, causing you to squirm beneath him as he straddles you, trapping you between his legs. His fingers flutter under your arms, stroking your sensitive skin.

“Ino!” you cry out, laughing from the sensation.

You can feel his cock growing hard in his pants, balls heavy on your stomach. Suddenly, he stops, mask still folded to expose his lips, leaning down to kiss you sloppily. He pins your hands above your head, locking his fingers with yours. He slips inside your mouth, grazing your tongue with his, hungry for your saliva. “Fuck,” he moans into you, nipping at your bottom lip. “You like this freaky shit, don’t you? Nasty slut.” His playful tone is laden with lust now, low and sultry, mouth brushing along your neck, sucking at your pulse points to mark you.

You whine his name, wrapping your legs around his waist, grinding yourself against him.

“Look at you, getting so fucking dumb all because of my mask,” he purrs. “What else turns you on, cutie? Tell me.”

Without thinking, you blurt out, “Spit. Your spit. I want it.”

“Oh shit,” he swears, licking his mouth. He traces the outline of your lips, beckoning you to open up, dribbling a thick wad of saliva inside you. You gulp it down, sticking your tongue out for more.

“Oh fuck, you’re nasty,” he says, doing it again. “Makes me so fucking horny seeing you like this. Seeing my cutie act like a fucking whore.” He slips beneath your shirt, fondling your bare breasts, flicking your peaked nipples with his thumbs.

“Fuck, Ino,” you whisper, pussy throbbing in your panties, arousal leaking through the fabric.

“You like it when I play with your tits, huh?” Like it when I pinch them hard like this.” He squeezes them between his thumb and index finger, enough pressure to stimulate you, making you moan his name again and again.

He swears under his breath, shoving his pants down his legs, shimmying out of them until he’s only in his underwear now, erection stiff in his boxers. “You gonna suck my cock now or what, slut?”

You nod, kneeling in front of him, knees on the carpet, spreading his thighs apart. He lifts his ass off the couch to slide out of his boxers, letting them fall around his ankles. You kiss the tip of his dick, smearing his precum around your lips like gloss before swallowing him into your mouth.

He lets out a drawn out, “Fuck,” watching you with wide eyes as you bob up and down his shaft. Voice shaky, he asks, “Can I put my hands on you?”

Something about him in this ski mask makes you want to be submissive, makes you want to be used. You grab both his hands, guiding them towards the sides of your head, giving him free rein to manhandle you.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, gripping you tighter, gradually thrusting his hips in tandem with you. His cockhead hits the back of your throat, teasing your gag reflex, but you resist, tears collecting in the corners of your eyes, enduring it.

Noticing you, he pulls out, a string of spit between you. “Baby, baby. Please don’t force yourself. I don’t want to hurt you.” He reaches to his side, grabbing a tissue from the table beside the couch, wiping away the spit around your mouth and the tears in your eyes. “Come here, cutie. I want to make you feel good too.”

You strip out of your bottoms, straddling his lap, pussy wet and aching against him. He moans as you rock back and forth on his shaft, pressing his thumb to your clit, massaging it. “There we go. Now we both can feel good, yeah?”

After a few more strokes, you beg him to fuck you, lifting up to guide his cock inside you slowly, sinking down on him until he bottoms out. You bounce on him, his hands gripped to your waist, guiding you, moaning your name between expletives.

As you approach your orgasm, you pull up his mask, placing it on his head as he usually wears it. He smiles brightly at you, nuzzling his nose to yours. “There’s my pretty girl. Can you come for me now? Come all over this cock?”

You kiss him passionately, arms wrapped around his neck as he thrusts into you, hands squeezed on your ass now. You reach your climax, moaning into his mouth. He comes with you, shooting his load deep into your womb, filling you up with his cream pie. The two of you continue to kiss slowly, catching your breaths. He caresses your back while you melt into his embrace.

“We need to establish a safe word,” he suggests, cradling you in his arms. “I want to make sure I’m not hurting you.”

You hum into his skin, saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Popcorn."

He chuckles, stroking the back of your neck gently. “Alright. Popcorn it is.” A beat later, he exclaims, “Popcorn! I totally forgot about the popcorn!”

You laugh, giving your boyfriend a wet smooch on the cheek.

#takuma ino #ino takuma #takuma ino x reader #takuma ino smut #ino takuma smut #ino takuma x reader #takuma ino x you #ino takuma x you #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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privitivium · 17 days

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masochist!sensitive!himbo, mean!male!reader - lovely thoughts! bad dom reader,,,,

ur huge best bro, who's very much prone to sobbing in the crook of your neck when you're "making love" to him in his bed,,,, he's too touchy... way too touchy. often - wanting to fucking hold hands and seing them back n forth like ur some kinda fucking couple??? sick.

hmm... he's your best friend! much bigger than you... a gentle giant... kindhearted - pure of heart. fucking not - good lord. there was nothing pure about him. hand dipping in-between your legs, sitting behind you. playing with your cock... before he was kneeling in-between ur thighs, mouth finding the tip of your dick and his tongue circling your leaky bulbous cockhead while you're on the game; distracted by both winning and getting head by your silly companion who often liked to give you such attention!!! is he doing good?

he must be - if you, who generally hates touching him affectionately, are shoving ur fingers in his mouth!!! pumping lewdly into his lips as though you rre fingering his ass,,, makin him taste ur remnants of cum. fingers rubbing on the flat of his tongue, making him gag and its so very obvious that you enjoy the sight with how you surge your hips deeper - is he being whorish enough for you? mmh he can - he can be even more of a whore, he promises!! constricting around ur cock, slobbering and tonguing - sucking on your digits and moaning so pitifully,,, you must like it since you havent pulled away just yet!!!

his huge hands gripping your waist, tugging you deeper into him - feeling the mess of saliva, tears, and snot on your neck. clenching your jaw as you nearly feel overstimulated at the sense - causing you to get aggressive,,,,, he always causes you to grimace in disgust in one way or another. always causing you to you push away from him, physically and emotionally; hands finding and gripping his defined shoulders, forcing him downward to lay against the bed instead of nuzzling into your neck. not wanting to make him cry harder with the command of "don't fucking touch me" - you settle for gentle teasing.

jeez, does it feel that good? you really are sensitive. grumpily enunciating as he mewls for affection, it's kinda annoying. ㅡ is it? m' m- sorryy!!! and sobbing harder while constricting around your cock and milking load after load because he just feels that good... your best bro! feels so good!!!!

you're,,,,, best friends with benefits,,,, but he calls you his boyfriend when introducing you to his gymbros when you aren't there to correct him. moron getting all fluttery and trembling with excitement as you hangout with him... calling him your best fucking bro with a tight hole you can fuck into happily. freeuse, even? like - what? you got an erection out in public and ur embarrassed? hey, it's okay, i can help make it go away lol. please? please? please? let me help, lol. please?

idiot getting hard, trained, when you call him a stupid fucking idiot in public after he drops something on accident. something you do out of affection - insults not matching your loving touches and soothing caresses. see? you can still be loving... no need to be so sensitive, man. don't fucking cry, we're in public. all because you were showing him love - true love by touching him... you didnt like to do that... you were totally coming out of ur shell!!!

#x male reader #top male reader #x top male reader #dom male reader #x dom male reader #yandere himbo maybe #posting / finishing my original drafts lolllll!!!!!!

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fandomfuntimem · 10 days

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Dp x Dc or just Dp things I (personally) want to see more of.

Just some stuff I've seen and really liked but never see enough of.

Danny is very casually a genius and/or skilled (engineering, gymnastics, really any skill you pick):

There isn't enough of it tbh. I dont think people realise just how smart and skilled he is. Being a ghost probably made him very flexible and gave him extra abilities the average human may not have. Also he comes from a family of scientists, yeah maybe up against them he doesn't seem smart, but being "smart" comes in different forms. More often than not the ability to be smart comes from your ability to pick up on things, retain information, understand information, and use that information accordingly. Danny does that, especially with his villains. He even finds outside the box ways to defeat his villains. Like tricking Freakshow into becoming a ghost.

I just think its under utilized. A lot of Teen heros are geniuses but no one ecknowledges it. Hell, you can make it that Danny doesn't even realise just how smart he is. He doubts it and often thinks he's one of the dumber people in the room. But when sleep deprived and running on a cup of coffee he can solve a problem he hasn't even seen before the konk out for an hour.

Danny has BEEF with the JL or isn't outright a fan:

In a lot of fics the JL (especially Batman) are huge hypocrites. Like they'll barge into Amity trying to solve problems that don't even effect them, screw things up more, then offer Danny more training. Hello????? You guys being there caused the problem???? Then, in other things Batman preaches about territory and Danny will get threatened or treated with suspicion for even stepping foot NEAR Gothem, but then barges into his territory like its his buisness.

Let Danny call them out. Let him point out that everything has been fine untill they showed up. Let him get MAD. This is HIS territory, HIS haunt, HIS people. These guys have done nothing for him! Why should he accept their help when their help only makes things worse? In fics where they help him because he needed it and ended up in Gotham let him be suspicious and careful. He doesn't need to be vivasected or hurt to be warry of the crime fighting furries he just met.

Mans has the experience to know you can't trust anyone untill they prove you can.

Danny should be casually overpowered and spooky:

This isn't even he has to be experienced. He is so used to his powers he doesn't realise how scary it is. He will casually stop a punch from superman, laugh, quipe, then punch back.

He accidentally breaks stuff, walks through things, glows, its so normal for him. He apologizes and does it again because he forgot. He genuinly has no idea how strong he is, he just knows he needs to be soft on humans.

Danny and Phantom are very different personalities:

I'm not saying they're two different people. They have the same mind same person. But the way they act is so different. Danny is grumpy, quiet, whimpy. Danny is a loser, and everyone knows it. Phantom, on the other hand, is confident, he jokes, smiles, makes a game out of his struggles, he's strong. Phantom is just a good guy. Everyone (minus others) loves him!

This happens because Danny is more comfortable as Phantom or Vise Versa. Sertant trates carry over, they're nerds, they're smart, they enjoy a good pun, they're sassy. But because Danny is a loser everyone sees it as lame, but with Phantom its endearing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

None of this means you need to get rid of silly nerdy Danny. You can have that but all these other things ad depth to his character. Hes smart but not confident, he's kind but not naive, he's powerful but not violent, and he finds comfort in the fact no one knows him.

Idk. I'm not a big fanfic writer so i thought i would just share and see what others do with it.

#dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #batman #dc comics #writing #text post #funtime speaketh #just some of my thoughts #personal stuff no one has to actually follow #just putting it out there

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chironshorseass · 4 months

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what bugs me most about the pjo show is that i know they could’ve done better. i knowwwww they could’ve been as faithful as they wanted to the books. for anyone saying “oh, but it’s an adaptation! it isn’t meant to be the same so stop whining that they took stuff out or that they’re adding things in different order!” well yes, i agree that adaptations aren’t meant to be a carbon copy of the source material for the simple fact that it’s adapting the source material into a different medium (television), yet it’s just that! a form of adapting the things that are unable to be channeled from, say, a book—or on the contrary, adding things that make sense for television but couldn’t be channeled into the books otherwise…all of this in a faithful manner. a good adaptation is one that stays true to the source material by properly adapting its themes, characters, symbolism, context, pacing, and the overall story/plot so as to not only be seen as a sort of love letter to the fans, but also to reach a wider audience.

just look at the hunger games! the movies are so faithful to the books to the point that most of the scenes are taken straight out of the books, dialogue and all. and they’re movies, aka less runtime than a freaking tv show and they still did it better. did the hg movies have to take a few scenes out? yes; they have only so much time to tell the story as it is told in the books. did they resume things, like the games themselves? also yes. but did most of the important scenes and character moments stay in the movies? also also yes. again, THESE ARE MOVIES!!!!! a medium much more limited than a freaking tv series with multiple episodes that have enough run time to add even more scenes from the books than what could be possible in a 2 hour (max) movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yet they STILL changed so much that rly had no business being changed other than that the writers decided they felt like it because…..a lot of it im not even sure. and the worst thing of it all is that freaking rick riordan took part in script writing yet so much of the source material has been watered down???? they make a whole ass episode about a monster fight with the majority of the scenes from said episode not even present in the books instead of sticking to the perfectly good source material???? and by doing so they delete the small details that are very much integral to character development and plot???? huh???? the math isn’t mathing. don’t get me wrong, i do like some changes, but then i think: at what cost do they add these things when there was a perfectly good narrative without it? like, at what cost do we get the whole turning to gold sacrifice scene if they’re gonna take out all the fun details that make the lightning thief the lightning thief? for example the silly water park merch and then annabeth displaying her spider phobia and her mortification at going to the thrill ride of love with percy and then being broadcasted to olympus. this is just one episode, but they’ve been doing it in all of them. and u know, it’s not that i don’t hate-hate most these changes. again, what bugs me is that this was supposed to be a faithful adaptation. again, it’s a tv series, with so much more time to develop everything from the books. rick is behind it, who apparently hated the movies for how unfaithful they were. the cast is great. and yet…the script is so mediocre. the spark is lost. character traits are looked over in place for weird pacing and even weirder changes. if the hunger games could do it, then surely a pjo tv series could as well? apparently not? i really really Don’t Get It.

#pjo adaptation #pjo tv show #pjo tv crit #i wanted to Not Talk about the show but i have so much to say #i’ve given up i’ll keep ranting

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pachimation · 6 months

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redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #scaramouche #chiscara #scarachilde #my art #comic #no super long rant in the tags this time bc i already made a chscr rant haha #happy chiscara day everybody!!

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ironunderstands · 3 days

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Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship

(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)

I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH

Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.

I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.

GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA

Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.

Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).

Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.

No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.

Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.

On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.

Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.

Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself.

Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are.

And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.

And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.

Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.

So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable).

However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.

Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.

Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless.

Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.

In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that.

Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan.

As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful.

Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years.

But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.

The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on.

But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal.

God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible

I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.

Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him.

And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl.

It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.

Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another.

AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.

I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE.

The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.

Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)

“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”

Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.

Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.

a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.

THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.

Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.

Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped.

So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.

b) The betrayal plan

Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe).

Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along.

So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)

Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability.

Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.

Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?

Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then.

All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two.

“The shippers are all weird and racist”

Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.

HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭

And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.

Like please I’m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith.

?????

Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.

“They’re so sibling coded!”

Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.

#Hsr #honkai star rail #dr ratio #aventurine #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #golden ratio #tags for reach bc I need ppl to read this sorry #Also apologies to the Genji/Hanzo shippers for catching strays yall tend to mind your business and tag ur shit #So I can’t blame you that much for it even if I find it gross bc if I don’t wanna see it it’s very easy to not see it #I just wanted to give an example of how the hsr fandom is not unique in its weirdness #Ppl are horrible at tagging shit in this fandom #The next time I read an Aventio fic w surprise dubcon I’m gonna die #Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading bc this was sm fun to write #Aventio is peak we all cheered #aventurine hsr #dr ratio hsr

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prettyboykatsuki · 6 months

Note

wyll whos nice and kind down to his bones but develops a nasty jealousy streak….tugs you back behind some secluded corner of camp to kiss you something fierce when he catches how others at camp look upon you…starts smoking a cigarette

steadily yours | w. ravengard

✮ tags ; jealousy, established relationship, gn!reader, kissing / hickies, alcohol, silly and lovesick wyll

✮ wc ; 2k

✮ a/n ; ive thought about this ask for a week straight. its getting dire.

some minor spoilers for wylls romance like extremely minor and vauge!!! i am only just entering act three so pls dont spoil me but this take place vaugely post game lololol

The Blade of Frontiers is a good man.

This isn't a title he's given himself, but one bestowed upon him. Through tales and songs all across the city and uttered from the very lips of his lover - Wyll Ravengard has always strived to be a good man.

He can't assert this by any measure, but he knows best his own effort. For the sake of the city, for the sake of his people, for the sake of love. He wants very little to himself, and he fights with every ounce of him. His heart is in the city, but his soul is with you. Between these two places, there's no amount of sacrifice or burden he isn't willing to bear.

Part of being a good man is being the master of your own desires. What other men do is none of Wyll's concern, but he's always been adamant about keeping firmly on the straight path. Wyll wants love properly, much like how he wishes the world around him would follow.

Properly, with order and justice and care. That's how Wyll has lived his whole life.

And he's believed of himself that loving that way came easier upon him than it did others, though that was nothing he felt like bragging about. It never felt difficult to abstain from the ugliness of anger or jealousy.

That was before you. And this is after, this is post having your meeting. Wyll has had a relationship or two. Puppy crushes that fizzled off as soon as Wyll's responsibility began to overwhelming. Like, less than love, really. This time it is love, and love is incomparable to any sensation in the world. Not the cut of a blade against his skin, nor the warmth of a sunset. No mortal feeling could really measure to love.

In the aftermath of loving you, Wyll supposes, there is an ugliness within himself that he never really knew about. But maybe it's only normal. What else could there be after he's encountered the most beautiful thing the world has to offer, beyond even gods?

There are three things on Wyll's mind, lately. One, that he loves you more than he thought possible. Two, that he's relieved about the state of affairs. And three, he's very tired of feeling this way.

Not that he's tired of loving you. Things just aren't so busy anymore, and that means there's always people around. The people of the gate love you, and you're more hospitable than you let on. The camp is busy, rife with life every single evening and everyone is always so keen on meeting you.

You're busy, rightly - laughing and drinking. Though you're not much for talking, you do your duties as a host and tell stories when prompted. You seem to enjoy yourself in the well-earned reprieve and you've really do deserve very bit of that love and attention that's come your way.

So, Wyll knows feeling this way is ugly. The jealousy is ugly, and Wyll's not entirely lacking self-awareness about it. Though before he could chalk it up to other things, lately it's impossible. He knows that the Outlanders who come seeking your company have no idea you're engaged - and that they're simply men who desire you for the name you've earned.

A warrior, a hero, a myth - Wyll does not blame them for their curiosity.

But he feels pitiful to be so stirred up about it anyways.

He drinks tonight, though the carafe of wine is mostly full. The others speak amongst themselves. Astarion drifts by him, stands and sways in motion in the cool night air with a smug look on his face that Wyll is too dazed to catch.

Astarion speaks first. The sound is muffled first, impossible to make out in his own mind before a pale hand waves in front of his face.

"You know I'll have to thank your darling later for allowing me to see such a rare sight," Astarion drawls. He's sober, though there's wine in his hand all the same "The Blade of Frontiers, seething with jealousy. A marvel."

"I wouldn't call it seething," Wyll replies, still only half paying attention. His eyes are glued to you. He can't bring himself to look away.

Astarion laughs, a little pity in his voice , though Wyll can't really make out if it's sincere or not.

"But you'll admit you're jealous? My, Ravengard, you've changed." Astarion says. Wyll doesn't bother asking what he means, since it's true in any case "Forgive those poor Outlanders. It's hard enough watching them pine for one half the lovesick couple as is."

Wyll sighs.

"It's fine," Wyll says, though even he can hear how much he doesn't really mean it "It's not like they would know. I suppose many people wear decorative rings these days."

"Gods, this is funny. Just listen to you, I mean really. What a delight. I have half a mind to call the rest over just to witness it in person. Unfortunately I'm not so charitable," Astarion says back to him holding in a laugh "Whatever will you do, Ravengard? Maybe you could kick up a fuss, or pick a fight. People brawl at these things don't they? Oh what a sight that'd be indeed."

Wyll ignores him, but he does heed the advice. He would like to do something about it, though there won't be any brawl. He steels himself, passes an empty cup off to Astarion who makes a shrill laugh as Wyll starts walking himself over the fire.

When he arrives there, the conversation has come to more of a relaxed lull. You notice him even engrossed in conversation, flashing him a smile so beautiful he feels a little blinded.

He gives you one in return, disarmed. The outlander who's been trying to win your attention all night goes to address you again and Wyll is quick to interject.

"Ah, sorry - would you all mind if I borrowed them for a minute?"

You give Wyll a look of surprise, your eyes crystal clear. He feels guilty almost instantly, but continues anyway.

"Is something the matter?" You ask, your voice softened. You've been drinking, from the way your words melt together.

"Nothing serious, just something I wanted to talk to you about in private. That alright? Promise I'll return them before the night is over."

"As long as you promise," Says the very same one Wyll's been trying to tear you away from all evening. You laugh heartily before standing to your feet. You're beaming at him, brilliant - and Wyll goes back to his usual pleasant self as he gives his goodbyes.

He says something about promising before he whisks you off, faithfully ignoring the knowing looks of party.

And he takes you to a quiet corner of the camp, a short trail bridging between the main plot of land. There's some sturdy scenery, and rocks large enough to shield you from the outside and give you privacy.

He's cornering you a bit, admittedly - but you seem happy to see him. As soon as you're alone, you have your arms around his neck. There's a delightful air of excitement around you and Wyll finds himself filling with all the fondness in the world.

The faint sour-sweet of wine lingers off of your lips. Wyll looks at you closely, studies your expression.

"Sorry, sorry," You apologize, suddenly more comfortable. A side of yourself that you only show to him. How funny it makes him feel "I was happy to see you, is all."

"I can see that," Wyll replies, smug - just barely. You bat your lashes, dazed. It's unlike you. Wyll likes it. "I'm happy to see you too. Always."

"Is it something serious?"

Ah. He's caught isn't he? In a way, he's tremendously lucky you're not too sober. He's sure you'll tease him about it later.

"No, I suppose not. It's nothing at all, I just," He stumbles uncertainly at what he should say "Well, I wanted to speak with you."

"You could've joined us!"

Wyll gives you a sideways glance.

"Could I?" He says, before he catches himself. He adds the next words apologetically almost "That outlander you've been conversing all night seemed rather rapt with you. I doubt I could've interjected anywhere without fumbling."

You look like you're processing his words, but it's not as if Wyll is going to let you.

Wyll often says to you that you make him forget himself, and there are moments like these he find that to be more true than ever. It is unlike Wyll - strong and chivalrous, poise and charming - to bear so heavy a feeling in his heart that he has to express it physically.

Only you could make his silver tongue submit to such urgent, base instinct. Wyll kisses you in the most unromantic way he knows. It's not very gentlemanly. A kiss to claim, to sink, to swallow.

He kisses hard, and your lips are faint with the taste of wine. You make a noise of surprise before you melt into his arms. The warmth of his body makes him feel like he's burning to ash. His tongue touches yours, warm and hot nipping at your mouth.

When you pull away, Wyll decides it still isn't enough to curb the jealousy. He lets his teeth drift down to your neck. Sharpened canines that scrape against thin skin. Wyll sucks hard, enough to make all the capilliaries break.

And you sigh - a pretty, welcoming noise. Wyll is marking you. He leaves one after the other, in admittedly visible places. But he's not thinking about, not really.

Not until your voice breaks, the sweetest edge of desire to your words. He's not so debased to do anything to you while you're more than tipsy. He pulls away from you, blinks at you candidly - before the realization dawns on him in full.

By the gods, what's wrong with him? Embarrassment hits him afterwards, abject dread filling him as he peers at the dark marks along your neckline.

Did he really...? Really?

"Wyll," You say, strikingly sober and delighted all of a sudden "Are you...perhaps...jealous?"

He rubs his face on his hand, suddenly flush, turning his expression to one side. He can't deny it at this point can he.

"I wonder if my life will be easier once our wedding is announced in print," He offers sheepishly. You laugh loudly, absolutely elated as you press your forehead to his. He does the same, of course "The ring seems to be no more than decorative to everyone."

"Wyll Ravengard, I would've never guessed in a thousand years you'd drag me here because you were jealous."

"Please forget my uncouth actions at your earliest convenience my love," He says, groaning "I might die of embarrassment otherwise."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I get jealous over silly things all the time. I tell you as much."

"When you do it it's endearing. I'm meant to be a gentleman, yet in front of you - I lose my wits like I'm a boy no older than seventeen. It's maddening."

"You forget yourself?" You tease, characteristically. He laughs.

"A bit more each day, it seems."

"A little jealousy is healthy, Ravengard. Though, I'm not sure how we're going to return to camp in this state." You say, giving him a suggestive look "Perhaps we have a bit more to talk about here instead, hm?"

"We should be doing such things in a bed. Or a tent." Wyll insists. You chuckle like you know he'll give into you.

"Wouldn't it be more effective if that Outlander you're so jealous of saw me with a post sex glow, along with the hickies."

Wyll feels his skin prick with heat.

"You drive a hard bargain." He comments, voice soft as a whisper. You laugh.

"Maybe you're just an easy sell."

Wyll laughs heartily at that.

"Any one would jump at the chance for something so priceless, Hero of the Gate."

You give Wyll another smile, lovely and genuine - there's nothing smug about it. You kiss him tender, sighing happily into his arms. He finds himself helpless to his own joy.

"Then lets kill time here and head back,"

"Yes," He says, jealousy tucked away for now "Let's do that,"

#return to sender #wyll x reader #bg3 x reader #wyll fluff #wyll ravengard x reader #bg3 fluff #writing tag #WYLL I WONT YHU

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vcill · 1 year

Note

Heya 🫰🏻

Could I request something like "What the brothers would say to you to get you into the mood"?

I love your writing and am very curious about your ideas 👀

Thanks for requesting!

Lucifer:

He's the devil for a reason.

Would act the complete opposite then how he's usually does in bed.

If you have a praise kink, time to go crazy!!

Starts off innocent, probably asks you to sit on his lap and tell him about your day.

Will listen to every word, if you say you did well on test he'll tell you how proud he is to be able to be with someone so smart and pretty/handsome.

If it's the opposite, and you ended up failing, instead of one of his many lectures, he tells you it's okay and he'll give you extra help next time.

Slowly starts to rub your thigh or back as you continue giving you kisses here and there.

Hums in acknowledgment as you continue on about your day. Probably moves you from his desk towards his bed.

Lays you down on your stomach and will tells you it's a massage but the slick bastard won't say what kind.

You'll definitely find out once his cold his slip down in to your clothes and start toying with you .

Tells you to keep talking as he continues, if you asked what he's done the only response is: "Don't worry about it sweet thing, why don't you continue where you left off, hm?"

Next thing you know, he's pounding into you like there's no tomorrow while still making you tell him about your day, if you stop, he stops.

If you ended up not doing too well in the school day, its a slap on the ass for each thing that you told him.

Pretty much is just comforting then uses it against you.

This is pretty much one of the "softer" ways he gets you in the mood, even if you somehow don't catch on right away.

Mammon:

Once again, Mammon did something to get in trouble. If it wasn't with Lucifer, then probably the witches, or his brothers- maybe even Diavalo.

Regardless, this is probably the right time this week and it wasn't even Wednesday day.

Even Lucifer was shocked how much trouble the second one was being.

After another lecture, Mammon showed up to your room still in a pouty mood from earlier.

The least he wanted was another lecture, which is why before you could even start, he cut you off.

"How 'bout we make a deal, yeah?"

Now you know better then to make deals with him, considering all the other times he made one with that had you ended up being stuffed full and exhausted.

But if it could stop his behavior, then so be it.

For the next 7 days, he acted like an angel. Being nice to his brothers, paying off some debt. Even studying. (Everyone was shocked, even you)

But the real action was when he was with you.

"Ya like it when I'm a good boy, right?"

Acts so submissive and even asks and begs you to do things that he would never had done before.

"Promise I'll be good, I'll always be good for ya, I'm your little mambaby ain't I?"

If you're into it, he'll add a bit of mommy/daddy kink into the mix.

But of course with him m acting like this, how could you not want to treat him let me a good boy?

Always asks if you want him touch, lick , suck or bite a certain part of you, and when you say yes, you think you see Simeon in the purgatory hall.

Of course he totally wasn't trying to plan this. Totally.

Leviathan:

Roleplay all the way with this man.

I feel like this is the only time where he REALLY feels confident.

Starts off with something corny, probably from a video game like "The mighty prince Leviathan, has once again slain the dragon. Now to find the princess/princess!"

You'll be laying on his bed, striking a dramatic pose "Thank you thy knight! For saving me, you shall receive a special award."

"I am glad my great efforts receive such praise, I'll do my best to serve your highness"

Honestly you two being very silly and goofy but turned on nonetheless.

While giggling, he kissing your neck while le giving you a few special marks, calls them protection stamps. (IDK what to call them just something goofy 😭)

Puts you before him, will kiss every part of you and go down, while he does he describes every part of you in such great detail.

"Your majesty brings me such bliss."

"Will the knight let me sit on my throne?''

"You own everything in this kingdom my prince/princess, take what's yours."

The confidence surge in him would be so hot, he's making sure you are definitely treated as a royal should be. Maybe even more then Barbatos treats Diavolo.

Other roleplays could as be a masquerade ball where you two fuck as strangers but turns out you know each other all along.

Forbidden lovers, needing to stay quiet to not get caught.

Or as if you were trapped in a video game, and new to fuck to get out. (This one might actually happen knowing him).

He's a silly stinky otaku but we love him 💕

Satan:

A little similar to Levi.

Maybe after reading a spicy/romance book he gets into the mood.

Starts off quoting after certain books he's read to see if you remember.

When you repeat the other half correctly, he gets so turned on for some reason. If you don't remember he still will but not in the same way. (Sadistic and Satan both start with a S for a reason.)

Depending on if you answer, he'll continue on, the part he's reciting most likely from a smut.

"They lay there, with not a care in the world, unknowing of what the creature lurking might do."

Even if you are getting fucked mercilessly, you still have lines to say!!

"They moaned the creature fucking Them better then any human could."

(Spoiler alert: They love the monster 🤭)

If not roleplay, he'll have your read the book instead, making sure to exactly get to the spicy part.

While you read it aloud, he starts touching you. Slowly rubbing up and down your area, may even go down on you while you read it.

Better yet does the same thing you describe in the book. If the creature is throat fucking the MC, get prepared.

Every single position you also find yourself in, some of these you never knew even existed, but can't help but to moan like a fucking animal.

If the book had pictures, you would match it completely once you were done reading.

He'll continue reading until he gets to another smutty part, in which it's your turn to read.

And mostly likey get your brains fucked out. 👌🏾

Asmodeus:

Ooo boy

When is he not trying to turn you on?

Asmo has a very very high sex drive, which is obvious with how many past partners he's had.

Cause of this, y'all are pretty much fucking 24/7.

Isn't afraid to hide when he wants you, you could be sitting at the dinner table and he'll make direct eye contact while licking a spoon a little to lewdly.

Moans a little too hard when eating a dish and saying it's good. Leans over over gives you a bite too, making sure it gets on your cheek for him to lick away.

If you decide to tease him back, his horniness go up 100x.

After dinner pretend not to remember what happened at the dinner table and go to his room as normal only to get pinned to the wall in a second.

"Mc, I'm so hungry, maybe even hungrier then beel"

Go ahead and let him get that desert, extra cream too please!

Switches and you'll be sucking him off messily. drool and slobber everywhere and loud sucking noise filling the room.

"Mc, your so nasty I love it."

Cums on your face, with some getting on his torso, will look at you with the most innocent eyes and ask you to clean him up.

Whines so much whenever you ride him, gripping onto your hips hard, begging for you to go faster.

He'll sound like he just came out of a hentai, saying things that surprisingly, you only got to hear.

But never ever neglect him for too long, as bold as he is, he'll get even bolder.

In a meeting with Diavolo instead of being with him? Don't worry, he'll tell a good excuse on why you should be with him instead. Maybe even invites the demon prince.

(100% think he talks dirty to you in other languages, whatever language it is, is your choice!)

Beezlebub:

Innocent baby that doesn't realize he's a complete beast in bed. (He does a lil)

Food play doesn't always have to come in here, a lot of times it's whenever you guys are alone together.

Can be very blunt. Just makes eye contact with you and asks "Can I fuck you?"

Or if he wants to be more romantic, he'll get on his knees and rest on your thighs, purring against them. Leaves a few hickies too.

Sucks you off/eats you out always talking about how good you feel.

Now this is where food play can come in. Maybe gets some honey, chocolate syrup, icing. (Icing works best for clean-up imo.)

Licks and slurps it off so messily, moans in delight when he taste your cum in the mix.

"m'still hungry mc, spread it a little more, please?''

Pulls your legs as far as they can to keep licking down there, his tongue can also get longer as he please, so definitely hits all those spots.

When he puts his dick into you, it's a messy make out session. Left over syrup falling from both of your lips, drool dripping down your chins, beel has never felt so full before.

"Mc, you got something on your chest, don't worry, I'll get it for you."

He gets it all right, maybe even does a little bit of a deep clean too.

Tbh, all he needs to do is look at you with those pleading, seemingly innocent eyes and you'll be gone in seconds.

Belphegor:

Since he sleeps a lot, his sex drive won't be high but that doesn't mean he ain't needy.

Ironically, when you're the one sleeping, he's horny.

Can do dream manipulation imo. goes into whatever dream you're having and changes it up a bit to have him in there.

It's a weird one, you're back in the human world in your room about to take a nap, until Belphie comes from under it and grab onto your legs.

"You're not tired yet, are you?"

"It's not fair if you're sleeping and not me, help fall asleep too?"

Slowly you start to wake up as Belphie moves inside of you. Moaning into your ear. You're gonna help him, right?

While he thrusts, you mumble sleepy the words "I'll help you" over and over.

When you cum, he complains," it's not fair that I didn't get to cum yet, so why should you sleep?"

Overstimulates you like crazy, when you start to get a little loud he ask how is he supposed to fall asleep with all the noise.

If you're too quiet, he says he can't call asleep without a little noise in the room.

"m'getting tired, you go on top so I can rest."

Will sit back and seemingly fall asleep while you do the work bouncing up and down.

If you try to stop thinking he's sleep, he thrusts up telling you he isn't done yet and to continue.

"Belphie, I'm tried, can we please continue later?"

"We have school in the morning, mc. I can't go to school without sleep, can I?"

Younger sibling brattiness sure is kicking in right now.

"If you don't want to help anymore, I'll just get beel to help you."

Last time that happened, you couldn't even go to RAD in the morning, to tired and numb to walk.

So go ahead and help little Belphie sleep, okay? It's better when you both fall asleep anyway.

#beelzebub x reader #belphie x reader #leviathan x mc #obey me headcanons #obey me x chubby reader #obey me x female reader #obey me x gn!reader #satan x reader #mammon smut #obey me headcannons #obey me smut #obey me levithan #obey me satan

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adyophene · 1 month

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lucifer x husk is something i never knew i needed and as a multishipper im screaming

literally. king of hell x some alcoholic furry guy

i love them i need to know how they wouldve met, fallen for each other and started dating. and how much thatd piss alastor off

Ooh I am so happy other people are enjoying this pair as much as I am! I've gotten a few asks about my headcanons for them, and I am happy to blab on and on. Fair warning. This is gunna be a long and rambling essay.

I'm gunna put it all under a readmore, just cause I want to insert the art I've done of them so far, since I've been half-heartedly trying to tell a visual story through the doodles.

Okay. On we go!

How they met;

We did see them technically meet in the show, where they shared their singular canon piece of dialogue, which was just Husk saying 'hey'. And then in the finale where we see a literal split second moment of Lucifer holding Husk's arm.

(also seeing the sweet looks huskerdust is giving each other here just makes me feel so delulu for writing this all, but crackships are silly by definition, so lets get back to the lucihusk) For me, what I imagined, is after the Hotel is finished its rebuilding, that is when Husk and Lucifer finally actually meet in a proper manner. I think Lucifer would be trying to make a good impression on all Charlie's friends at this point, endeared to all of them from their actions during the finale. Unfortunately, I think he is also the King of Bad First Impressions.

[Note. I think at this point Lucifer wouldn't even remember Husk's name quite yet. I think he would call him 'Keekee' ( by accident) or 'Dusk' (confidently incorrect) or just be like "Hey!.... Uh... You?" until Charlie or Vaggie finally corrected him. ]

Husk, on the other hand, I feel like maybe wouldn't gel with Lucifer right away. Wouldn't hate him, but also maybe not be enamored with him right away. Same as Lucifer, maybe he would have sweetened on him a bit through the hotel's rebuilding, but I think they'd start out at very neutral feelings. Maybe a vague sense of 'He's okay, but I don't know if we will really get along.'

Despite this, Lucifer is persistent, and he's going to be everyone's (except maybe Al, unless they start getting along by s2) buddy. He'd start hanging around the bar and participate in the redemption exercises.

Now, we know Lucifer struggles with depression, and I think he would be trying real hard to mask anything going on during this time. They defeated Adam! They rebuilt the Hotel! He believes in Charlie's dream, and he's more involved with her life and other people than he has been for years.

His only issue being Husk sees right through it, both because Husk is perceptive, but also because even the King of Hell can't help but have a lonely night or two at the bar where he ends up venting about his divorce and subsequent lingering loneliness.

[snapcube ref aside, )I really do think Husk would start to feel more positively toward Lucifer after Luci would drop the act somewhat. That they could bond over feeling both at their lowest of lows, while also being to admit that things seem to be getting better!

This would be about the point that I imagine Lucifer developing more romantic feelings! Husk would be a bit less prickly, and Luci would just absolutely eat up any and all positive interactions they'd have. I like to picture a lot of little shows of care at the this point, like Husk memorizing what Lucifer likes and even making up 'fun' drinks just to try and cheer the guy up. And Lucifer would fun a fun game in trying to get the grumpy cat to smile, and just, lighting up himself any time he was successful.

And that culminating into the two of them making each other laugh, with Alastor being an easy butt of the jokes, and a good way for Husk, himself, to finally get a chance to vent. I think Lucifer would be one of the only 'safe' options for Husk to do that with, in just so far as Al can't really threaten Lucifer, and Lucifer already sees Al as a bit of a manipulative bastard.

Falling for each other; At this point, Lucifer would start being a bit more caring toward Husk, though with that wonderful, oblivious flair of his. I don't think Lucifer himself would realize he'd have a crush up until he'd start feeling protective or jealous over Husk, and it would really throw him for a loop at first.

Because fake dating is one of my all-time favorite tropes, I have always had a idea for a fanfic (or comic) that I haven't gotten around to yet, based around Lilith coming back, and Lucifer panickily asking Husk to pretend to be his boyfriend, so he can appear well adjusted/completely over her. Of course the whole thing would backfire, as Lilith would see through it (as Lucifer wouldn't be as good of an actor as he'd think), and that Husk would end up kind of feeling hurt by the whole thing.

Husk, who'd go along with the plot with an eyeroll, would find himself seizing up through the whole fake date/encounter. Would find weird, sudden emotions bubbling up and absolutely hating it.

I don't think that man would think about the class difference between him and Lucifer up until someone would say something about it, maybe Lucifer himself trying to rationalize the (at this time still fake) relationship to Lilith. Now, Husk feels uneasy about the whole thing and ends up drinking heavily the whole night so he doesn't have to think about feelings. (Blitz and Stolas who? Ahaha. fuck.) Meanwhile, while the date would be fake, I think Lucifer would really rather like having Husk on his arm and feeling like he'd have a love-life again, while also not really getting why Husk's mood would be getting worse throughout the night. I think they'd still end up on good terms, but both of them would have their feelings in a jumble, and Husk would not like it. (he thinks he's lost the ability to love, after all)

I think somewhere at this point, as they are starting to develop feelings for one another, is when Lucifer finally starts really realizing how tied to Alastor Husk is, and he starts to make it everyone's problem. I do think Al and Lucifer would stay snarky at each other this whole time, but that it'd only get worse, as Al would poke back since he'd find Lu's over reactions funny.

I also think Al would be maybe the last person to realize anything romantic would be brewing between Lucifer and Husk, and he'd just think it'd be a purely platonic thing.

Beyond just bitching about Alastor, Lucifer would really be ramping up his attention towards Husk too. Fully in that 'puppylove/crush' stage, and trying his darndest to make Husk feel good and special. Husk would be resistant to it all, thinking it would just be Lucifer rebounding hard, and not wanting to get wrapped up in Morningstar family drama when he could happily (miserably) keep his head down and just keep drinking the days away.

But then Lucifer would find out about Husk's love of stage magic, and his history as a performer, and it'd be all over for the catman. It would become Luci's new pet project to rope Husk into some joyful self-expression, and after a song and dance number's worth of convincing, Husk would start to come around. I have to post all these images now cause- I drew them with the intention of mimicking a musical number! Husk starting off as a bit resistant before jumping in whole heartedly, and Lucifer overexcitedly dragging him along throughout the music number, hyping him up and just all around being smitten.

And this is where Husk would start really falling. Getting swept up in indulging his favorite, least destructive hobby, and having someone who absolutely loves it to bond with. Especially when it would be over. When they would just settle down and talk, and laugh, and bond over what they love about performing. The spectacle, the audience, the love of the craft. Its about the comradery!!!

@belladonazeppole wrote a wonderful series of fanfics based off these pictures, as well as the songs from 'The Greatest Showman' that really fit the ship! I would be remiss to not mention them here, because Bella and their fics are just wonderful!

How they started dating;

Now. Don't think just cause they both caught feelings for each other, that they'd immediately admit to it. No. I think both of them would drag their heels. I don't think Husk would admit to them at all, without some outside force effecting it. I think he'd stubbornly try to ignore the crush or drink it away, rather than let his heart become vulnerable to anymore damage.

Meanwhile, Lucifer would be struggling between his feelings for Husk and Lilith. (In the actual canon, I do think they might try to rekindle things, depending on what kind of person Lilith turns out to be, but I digress.) Part of him would be so swept up in a giddy kind of excitement, while the other would be set firmly in the camp of 'this is a bad idea, this won't work out, just look at what happened to your last relationship'. It wouldn't stop him from being outwardly more and more affectionate, but it would be weighing on him.

I do think Lucifer would end up being the one who would be thinking; "What am I doing. He'd never like me back." While Husk would be just sitting there (echoing what was said in the ask- sorry I went all wild and wrote this much about the ship dear god)- "I'm just some fucking furry alcoholic, what the fuck would the king of hell see in me??? Am I delusional? What the fuck is going on??" And I feel like this stage would go on for MONTHS and drive everyone else nuts. It would be clear to everyone (except Alastor, who again, would be just this meme

Though that wouldn't stop him from getting a little pissy about it) And then it would all come to a head during something benign, like a board game night. There would be flirting, there would be jealousy, there would be arguing, and then finally, loudly and with a lot of feeling, Lucifer would shout his way through asking Husk out on a date. A real Date. A capital 'D' date out on the town, dressed to the nines and a real good time. The board would be knocked over in the fray, game pieces raining down upon them while Husk would just stare blank faced, trying to process what just happened. An awkward half-minute would pass before he'd finally, trying to play it cool, shrug out a 'sure'.

How much it'd piss Alastor off;

In the aftermath, a radio static would just lowly grate everyone's ears as Alastor would be slowly coming to terms on how just annoying it would be to have his friend (/Unhealthy co-dependent pet friend possession??) romantically involved (ew) with the King of Hell (double ew)??? Then, either it would be something light hearted like 'he keeps trying to break them up but failing cause he hates interacting with romance' or a darker route where 'he keeps trying to manipulate them into breaking up by preying on all their worst insecurities in the relationship'.

And that, my friend, is all I have in mind so far for this delusional crackship au! There is more I could flesh out, of course, like Angel's role as a friend or potential third in the relationship, or what I imagine as Husk becoming like a stepdad to Charlie, but I've typed enough for the whole month. Hope any of that was coherent! I did not bother to edit or proof read it. Just pure stream of consciousness.

#not art #this is long #like really long #like don't open it unless you want 25 paragraphs about a crackship that like 12 people ship #royalflush #lucihusk

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volitioncheck · 8 months

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does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.

do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.

i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.

sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.

if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?

i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.

life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?

i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.

#i really hope my point is understandable in that it isn’t that i think that stories where harry *does* become sober aren’t also valuable.#or that i want every post-canon harry to *not* be sober.#but rather questioning why there seems to be a subconcious necessity for harry to be sober to have kind things happen to him.#disco elysium #harry du bois #also obligatory because i am putting this in the main tag:#this isn’t a callout or vague on any one person/creator/group of people in particular #it’s more of a prompt to discussion on a very broad trend #one informed by insidious biases that live in all of us because we live in a society etc #that none of us are immune to but all of us have a responsibility to acknowledge #if there is goal to this post it’s to provoke introspection. not individual attacks #anyways i love quietly consuming fan content until something annoys me enough to make my own post about it #i do wish i Participated in fan communities more tbh especially this one i’m just shy lol #most of the time.#me talking

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wufflesvetinari · 2 months

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ok fine, wyllstarion rec list

the demons bade me write this. i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings and a fabulous bookmarks list. come with me....and you'll be.......in a world of pure wyllstarion nation

note that this is like. an intermediate/advanced, 201-level list. i am trusting you, and assume you've already read asidian's body of work. you've read nothing is safe. you're reading Nothing Like the Sun &etc. Really anything that appears on the first two pages when sorting by bookmarks/kudos is disqualified due to pre-recognized excellence. (you could, however, go read them again)

are you back? good. now read:

"We Happy Few" - @geometea. listen to me. listen. i am looking deeply into your eyes. read this fucking fic. it's hard to shill without spoiling anything, BUT: wyll is a still-pacted grand duke. he used to have a bunch of unresolved romantic tension with astarion and now hasn't spoken to him for 15 years. now take that premise and add body horror, beautiful ominous surreal images, and SURPRISE BIG EMOTIONS. just trust me on this one, guys

"Crossed Blades" - @rebelontherocks. this is a...i think i have to call this a cozy sex romp. wyll and astarion are married, wyll is a busy duke, astarion needs more enrichment, astarion invents a very silly sex game by roleplaying teenage-wyll's smut books. wyll is So Deeply Into It. i love this fic for its characterization, its banter, and its commitment to paralleling character psychology to what sounds like an absolutely wild in-universe smut series (that is sketched with an impressive amount of detail and care tbh??).

"Comfort" - @acephalouscreature. short and sweet. wyll is injured and everyone expects astarion to take care of him. luckily, astarion has a dastardly plan to fake feelings for wyll by thinking about his feelings for wyll. you sure fooled them, astarion!! also featuring: astarion trying to figure out how to comfort someone by thinking about horses

"False Compare" - @jellyfishline. i'd recommend checking out their work generally, but i fell in love with this one first. wyll writes a sonnet! astarion is mean about it until he isn't! deeply in-character with an emphasis on how each of them communicates affection. gorgeous prose

"how to escape the torment nexus" - @ushauz. this series is incredibly unique, set in a fucked-up bad end where wyll is a lemure, astarion is still on the run from cazador, and almost everyone else is dead. where this really shines imo is wyll's POV: he's been through literal hell, doesn't remember his life, and is wading through his unconscious attachment to astarion like a foreign language. (side note also read Heart of Stone for a great lae'zel character piece)

"An Acorn in the Moonlight" - @anonyhex. this is one of the first wyllstarion fics i ever read and it has a special place in my heart!! it's particularly cathartic to read for Wyll reasons, including him actually getting to Have Emotions about what Ulder put him through. and they are so sweet with each other!!

"temporal displacement" - @purplecatghostposts. ok this came out like. yesterday but listen, i LOVE outsider pov of an astarion who's learned to show affection somewhat, seen from the eyes of someone who doesn't know his history and has no reason to suspect All Of That. and when that "outsider" is a dying 20-year-old wyll who just saw astarion step out of a time portal. well.

"nothing to make a song about" - themortal. for when you want something meaty and casefic-adjacent, set in a post-canon where wyll is the blade and not the duke (for once). contains bonding on the road, getting romantically snowed in together, and Symbolic Fetch-Quests.

i am also watching closely: "One of Those Prince-Types" by @lesbianralzarek and "sigh no more" by @tomorrowsrain. both are one chapter in and promise to be meaty, with execution that already feels very very promising

SPECIAL MENTION TO "Like Death (or Birth)" by The_Dancing_Walrus, which has some fraught implied background wyllstarion and is just generally completely baller. astarion kind-of sort-of accidentally adopts yenna, who got fucked up by her time as a potential sacrifice to bhaal. it works! i promise it works

#wyllstarion #bg3 #astarion #wyll ravengard #bloodpact #leading you gently by the hand through wyllstarion nation #fic rec

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cyber-clown · 11 months

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zubat is one of my favourite pokémon and, because it is one of my favourite pokémon, i've used it in every single generation i've played where it's available. this has led me to notice that you can kind of use zubat to track game freak's evolving design ethos with the pokémon series allll the way from gen 1 through to gen 9.

so if you don't know, zubat is a funny poison/flying bat pokémon. you can usually get it pretty early on in caves, usually sometime around the first gym. in gen 1 this is mt moon, gen 3 gives you zubats in granite cave right around the (mostly optional btw???) 2nd gym, gen 4 gives you them the moment you get to jubilife city, etc. it evolves into golbat at level 22, which doubles zubat's stats and lets it learn screech. golbat is a funny guy and i like him. don't know why they made him grow eyes though.

point is, they're common and you get them early, so it's a pokémon that is very easy to slot into your team as a decent flying type with better utility and defenses (being a poison type) than your average earlygame bird shitter. they're also vaguely menacing if you're insane i guess so they're evil team fodder. ok. we know what zubat is now.

GEN 1: in gen 1, zubat's design is insane. early pokémon games are shocking well put together - for the bad rep they sometimes get for having a handful of prominent glitches, it's actually a testiment to the games that they just keep trucking through these insane edge cases rather than crashing. unfortunately, the design itself is... primitive. they had a smash hit but definitely hadn't fully found their footing. let's look at zubat's moveset.

oh god! so, you would think this is a case of some kind of "first stage evolution syndrome" where zubat has a terrible, limited movepool that gets fixed when it evolves. gen 1 REALLY likes this gimmick: just off the top of my head this is the exact deal of abra and magikarp. unfortunately, no. the only damaging moves zubat learns before it evolves are leech life, a 20 base power (THIS IS LOW) move of a relatively weak offensive type, and bite. bite is fine. bite will hit most types except rock and ghost, and its power is fine. other than that, it just learns supersonic and a slightly less terrible version of supersonic.

then the insane thing: it learns wing attack at level 28. golbat learns it at level 32. it evolves at level 22. this creates an interesting dichotomy where on one hand you REALLY want to evolve zubat to golbat, given that it literally doubles its base stat total when evolving, but on the other that means you'll be waiting a full 10 levels from evolving to learn its only STAB move (in pokémon, pokémon get a 1.5x multipler to a move's damage if its the same type as that pokémon). said move only having 35 power. gen 1 is strange. i think this really shows the design philosophy of gen 1: everything is new, most things are weak, the balance is all over the place, you have to purposefully stop your funny bat from evolving for 6 levels just for it to learn a terrible flying type move that it can use for coverage. every other move it learns is either normal type or has <= 40 power. why.

GEN 2: gen 2 is the generation of "ok that was pretty good but had some pretty major flaws. let's try to fix them." gen 2 is kind of defined by how closely tied it is to gen 1. zubat is a great example of this. first of all the obvious thing: zubat gets a new evolution! if your golbat has high friendship and levels up, it will evolve into crobat. crobat gives the line about a hundred more stats (mostly to speed, with everything else getting a little peppering) and is maybe the funniest of all guys, his design being both cute, silly, and cool is maybe why i like the zubat line so much

so what changes for zubat and its family in gen 2? three things of note! 1. more TMs to learn, giving it more tools to play with, including the new steel type move steel wing. 2. bite has been changed to a dark type move, giving the noble zubat more type coverage including the ability to hit ghost types and psychic types (who are normally strong against poison types) for double damage. 3. wing attack's power has been increased to 60 (almost doubled!) and it's level to be learnt lowered to... 27. 1 level!

(from this point forward i'm not going to screenshot the TM learnset. i'll try to keep describing them, though)

also, the level requirement for bite has been moved to level 12, and it learns mean look at... level 36. ok so, yeah, not fixing the pokémon, but definitely some improvements here. you could actually reasonably recommend zubat to a friend or family member now if they particularly like its silly funny design

GEN 3: it's a new generation... literally. pokémon is now in FULL COLOUR and SYNTHESIZED SOUND on the GAMEBOY ADVANCE. pokémon is now fully establishing itself not just as a couple games and spinoffs, but a full on series that will ostensibly stick around between generations of games, generations of consoles, even generations of people.

so, yeah. this ain't your daddy's pokémon, he played pokémon red as a 7 year old but he's a full blown 13 year old now... much too cool to play these baby games. ...oh shit wait, every pokémon has an ability now? damn, nevermind, this rules! that's what i assume game companies think people will think when they do Big Spin Ups for a New Generation. i don't know if it DID convince a generation of millenium tweens that funny animal game is still cool, but the changes are appreciated anyway. steven stone is hot! i don't have anywhere else to say that. anyway, how did zubat change?

our friend zubat gets lots of changes to keep up with the crowd now. bite has been moved back up to level 16, but zubat now gets astonish - a decent ghost type move that can flinch opponents, air cutter (this used to be TM only) - a slightly weaker and less accurate flying type move than wing attack, but one with an increased critical hit ratio AND it can hit multiple opponents in new-fangled double battles, and poison fang - finally allowing zubat to unlock its poison type STAB... if you either don't let your zubat evolve for 19 levels or, more realistically, teach it to your crobat at level 49... ouch! but, the biggest of them all: your zubat can now learn wing attack before it evolves! ...1 level before it evolves, but before it evolves!

in addition, zubat's family got a new ability - inner focus: this lets them not get flinched. not that out there, but it's a welcome change! the line also gets a few more TMs unlocked, including coverage options like shadow ball, and the extremely powerful sludge bomb. you can really, finally, genuinely use zubat now! it's actually okay! it being a friendship-evolved pokémon is also ideal for one you pick up early game - you can usually evolve your zubat around the early level 30s, giving it a big stat boost earlier than a lot of other pokémon.

GEN 4: gen 4 is strange. it's a huge shift in the series, but it's also actually pretty similar to gen 3. it stays pretty true to the series roots, but also moves the ball in a way that would keep going and eventually mark what is effectively an entire change in identity for pokémon. steven stone is in heartgold and soul silver (yay!). gen 4 also cements gen 3 as the only generation of pokémon ever (so far) to be the only one on its console.

we're making good progress here! wing attack can be learned even earlier, at level 17, meaning you should get it just in time for the grass type gym leader, bite has been reverted to being learned at level 13, and air cutter / poison fang have had the time you need to hold a zubat before they can be learned significantly turned down. if you do happen to hold your zubat until level 41, poison fang's spot has been usurped by air slash, a strong special move (gen 4 split all moves into physical and special, where before they were split between the attack / special attack stats by type) that has a 30% chance of flinching an opponent. zubat's physical stats may be better than its special stats, but only by a little bit, so this is a welcome option! zubat also gets a couple more good TMs, like U-Turn, a really strong move that lets zubat deal some damage and then swap with a teammate to hopefully avoid taking retaliation! anyway that's it really, just little steps!

GEN 5: here it is, the big one… the one that changed it all… just joking! infact, zubat didn't get a single move change in Pokémon Black and White, as it wasn't available to catch at all in that game! instead, it was replaced by the spiritual successors woobat and swoobat, cute fluffy psychic / flying types with little heart shaped noses - they even keep the theme of a closed pair of eyes opening up when evolved! i like swoobat's terrible, fleshy heart tail, too!

anyway, zubat was revived in Pokémon Black 2 and White 2, whereupon it did actually receive a moveset update. it's not a very big one, but it's appreciated!

so, the pre-evolution options of astonish, bite, and wing attack have been moved a little further back, while players who wait a little bit are now able to learn the moves swift (a normal type move that never misses), and acrobatics (a move that has its damage doubled if your pokémon doesn't hold an item). cool stuff! air cutter, poison fang, and air slash have all been moved back a little bit. maybe this could be to disincentivise holding a pokémon that can evolve to learn moves, since this puts it much more in line with crobat:

who knows? anyway! the other noticeable changes are the additions of a couple more TMs like venoshock (all TMs being infinite use now, so you don't have to worry about wasting a TM anymore!), a poison type move that doubles in damage if the target is poisoned (finally, more love for zubat's poison type!) and the hidden ability of infiltrator.

what an unhelpful piece of flavour text! infiltrator is an ability that lets zubat ignore the effects of "barrier" type moves, which are moves that provide resistance or immunity to certain effects (such as physical damage, status effects, and debuffs). later on, this will be buffed to let zubats with infiltrator hit through substitutes, and even later will be buffed again to reduce wild encounters!

GEN 6: here's the real big one. gen 5 marked a distinct change in direction for pokémon as a series: a grander story, bold new characters, and a focus more on a journey that felt more like a hero's quest to prove themselves, rather than some random kid's uphill battle to get stronger. gen 6 took the new generation and made some bold decisions: now we have 3D models, and crazy plotlines, and fully arranged streamed music, and... much easier gameplay! well, easy is not the right word. pokemon games have always been kid friendly - but later games definitely try their best to streamline the experience. it feels a lot more like a power fantasy of a rise to glory, where previous games distinctly... did not. is this good or bad? well, it's all just taste! we all have our taste.

zubat received its major changes, again, in the second set of games of this generation: omega ruby and alpha sapphire. a step back to hoenn, including our good friend zubat!

woah! can you believe this is even the same friend zubat we met all the way back in 1996? i'm so proud of him... well, what major changes are there? here's an easy two: venoshock is now a move zubat learns naturally, and almost every move has been substantially reduced in level up requirement! bite at level 11? wing attack at level 13? it feels like just yesterday we had to fight tooth and nail to keep bite at level 13! poison fang down by 12 levels to level 25, and so on. the big one here is that air cutter is now a move you can learn before even evolving zubat, giving you another flying type option! what could be awaiting us next, in the sunny alola region?

GEN 7: i like gen 7 :) i also don't know what preamble to give here. well, other than: gen 6 began the trend of adding a new "gimmick" every generation. these stick around for one generation, can only be used once per game, and provide some Big Flashy Effect. mega evolution was gen 6's, but that was restricted to a few specific pokémon (mainly fan favourites, no love for great pokémon like crobat... grr...) but gen 7 changed this: now any pokémon can use a Z-Power!!! once per game, a single move can be transformed into a powerful Z-Move, that does huge damage. this means our friend zubat can join the show. will it use a poison Z-Move, or a flying Z-Move, or maybe a random coverage move, like ghost or steel?

um... what's going on here? zubat's lost leech life! well, look again. the iconic Zubat Move is still in its learnset, but it's now been QUADRUPLED in to 80 power, so it's been moved up and replaced with absorb as zubat's starting move. absorb is still stuck at 20 power. poor absorb. that's probably what it gets for being cousins with mega drain AND giga drain. crobat gets to learn cross poison on evolve now, a powerful poison type move that has an increased critical hit rate AND a chance to poison. other than these, zubat's learnset has not changed in any noticeable way. i guess that's a sign game freak has settled on a moveset to stay for our friend zubat!

GEN 8:

what on earth happened here? where is zubat's iconic wing attack? leech life at level 55? well, generation 8, you see, represents a big shakeup for the pokémon series. the series has OFFICIALLY jumped from handhelds to the home console, and so naturally that leads to a very different design philosophy - including the removal of lots of moves from the game entirely, and the barring of some pokémon from entry to the region! zubat gets to stay, though, and its reward is an entirely retooled moveset. what can we make of this?

well, first of all, supersonic has been recognised as an Iconic Zubat Move after 20 years of proud service, being officially made a move zubat gets right out of the egg. it still sucks, but that's cool! wing attack and bite have been replaced with poison fang, retooling zubat to put the early focus on its poison typing: to this day zubat and its family are actually the only poison / flying type pokémon! air cutter has been pushed back above the "evolve threshold", where it joins a bunch of other iconic Zubat Moves. bite and leech life now languish, as moves that probably nobody will ever actually hold their zubat to learn, given it's only a couple extra levels for golbat / crobat to learn them. speaking of crobat, it's worth mentioning...

crobat has a whole lot of tools to work with now! it's very clear they really wanted to play with crobat's unique role as a poison / flying type here by focusing a lot more on its Poisonous Traits - toxic, cross poison, and venoshock are all very fun tools you can play with that crobat gets access to with ease. what a treat! the number of TMs crobat can learn is also huge, with plenty of coverage across a bunch of types. now for gen 9!

GEN 9:

oh zubat! you should have known that DUI would give you consequences. well, yes. this is zubat's journey so far. but i think that i've proven my point - you can distinctly see a shift from the early game pokémon design philosophy to newer games.

personally, i would describe this as going from the games being an "uphill battle to prove yourself" to a "journey across the land with your favourites". it's clear that, over time, there have been attempts to try and make a lot of pokémon more viable, so that if zubat is your favourite too you can pick it up and have it be useful almost right away, rather than its earlier role as a pokémon that takes a long time to get going but eventually gets tools that make it a lot more usable. i think this shows pokémon's shift to being more about the pokémon themselves rather than the journey, which is a safe decision that's probably made because every pokémon is somebody's favourite.

this has no real point by the way - i personally don't actually mind the newer direction of pokémon games (aside from the EXP share always being on...) and have enjoyed plenty of relatively modern pokémon games a lot - i really rememeber loving pokémon moon when it came out! but i do also enjoy the different "vibe" and experience of older pokémon games, and i think sometimes the best way to actually describe the differences is to just lay out them out, plain to see.

anyway, i hope you enjoyed and, next time you're in a dark cave, consider holding off on the repels. you might just meet your new best friend forever!

#pokemon #pokémon #can you tell i'm autistic #also i didnt add a keep reading to this because i thought itd be funny #do you love the color of the zubat #zubat #golbat #crobat

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eldritch-spouse · 6 months

Note

Pinnie I want Lacai to give me kissing lessons (I'm a virgin who's never been kissed even though I'm in my 20s it's so embarrassing)

[Oh shut it, things will happen when they're supposed to happen, jfc. Fem reader. Also, terrible idea as a whole.]

TW: Dubcon.

Boy, he lucked out. Lacai really got lucky this time.

See, when Lord Vesper spends a little more time in the surface than usual, Lacai is allowed to wander. On a bit of a tight leash, but wander nonetheless. And when Lacai's crafty, when luck favors him, he can mingle with the perfect crowds.

What he didn't expect however, was to find someone amongst the crowds like you this time. A virgin. Cute, shy little thing. The type of human concubi in Lust would lick their lips at and claw each other over. He can picture it now, demons of all ranks circling around your helpless form like sharks in a tank, bloodshed and frenzied arousal, tugging at your clothes, groping, biting- You'd be ruined.

Which makes the impcubus all the more giddy to have you all to himself.

Lacai is shorter than you, and yet, when he first approached you, you nearly jumped out of your skin. He could hear your poor heart thunder against its ribcage, a hint of immediate desire muffled by the scent of great panic.

He had to beckon you somewhere quieter, hidden, to be able to have a real conversation with you, bring you out of your shell. This careful process is one that not all of his kin have patience or time for, but Lacai is no stranger to it, enjoying getting to know some of his meals on a deeper level. And besides, virgins should be treated with care. If he is to be your guide into shared carnality, then he must make more than a good impression.

Conversation flowed surprisingly easily between you two, gentle laughter and awe from your part as the imp regaled you with happenings from his home, his work. Most of them scandalous in some way or another... And, as time passed, the fear you exhibited started to melt, your tense shoulders relaxed, those small hints of want starting to grow into genuine thirst. Lacai himself blushed, the pull of a soul yet to experience sex being stronger on those of low-rank, he perspired faintly.

Without him even having to steer the topic too much, you eventually brought up your inexperience, your desire to experience things you claim most people your age already have. It struck him as a bit silly that you were complaining about it as if you were in a race to the finish line -When really these first experiences ought to not be rushed- But fiend that he is, Lacai was very quick to assure you that such a simple request could become reality.

You wanted experience?

You wanted a kiss from someone who's embraced many a lover before?

He'd do that for you.

It seems, much to his fortune, that sexuality isn't the only thing you are inexperienced in. Because anyone who has ever dealt with demons would think twice before accepting a transaction disguised as a favor.

You didn't.

You were as blind as a bat, seeing only your goals within reach, and not the teeth behind Lacai's smirk as he rested a hand on your cheek.

And so, committed to this, perhaps endeared by you, the dance started. With the servant of Lust setting up a specific time and place where the two of you meet, and he helps you "practice".

Truth be told, Lacai is getting a little too fond of these moments. Seeing the way your eyes light up with joy at the sight of him, how you shrink slightly in yourself but always manage some sort of cheeky greeting, your attention and the way you hang off his every motion is a sweet respite from his duties back in the Rings. Even if these moments are too wholesome for his tastes, leave him dreadfully famished by the end, Lacai finds them to be worth it. Because they're part of the game. Because he...

He's grown to like you. More than that, truly.

Which is interesting, he'd always thought himself a little too hedonistic to humor the idea of genuine love, something that isn't fleeting. The imp doesn't know where this is going, but he does know he wants to be a part of it.

He can dwell on it later, when he's not claiming your lips.

You were never a bad kisser. Timid, for sure, barely ghosting across his in your fear of upsetting Lacai, but not bad.

In fact, it's never been hard to sway you into the right movement. The way you're so responsive paired with his natural sensuality, the drunkenness of need, it all makes this learning process a lot easier than you were probably expecting it to be.

Every night you meet, Lacai takes it just a bit further. However much you're willing to humor.

It didn't take too long for him to be slipping his tongue into your mouth the same way he does now, playful yet full of fervor, every one of your explorative motions rewarded with more of his intensity and an encouraging moan.

A kiss from an incubus is a trap. A weapon. A deadly seal coated in saccharine promises you're too flustered to question. It's the lure that makes you set your foot in a bear trap with a smile on your face. All the tastes you've ever loved you shall find on his tongue and all the pleasures you've yearned for will manifest in your mind. To you, it's an unstoppable force.

You were never able to kiss him once and stop, as expected. From day one, you'd always follow when he would pull away, more for your sake than his. And he always took the care to stop when he thought you'd had enough to be kept wanton and anticipating the next time.

Lately though, it's getting harder to do such. Because the further Lacai lets himself go, the more he indulges you, the less willing he is to leave you- To leave a meal worth writing home about after sampling but the very tip of it. Painful.

" You're getting better. "

The impcubus praises as you part, having allowed you to take initiative just to see how far things had gotten. And while yes, you had made a lot of progress, swiftly on your way to becoming a better kisser than most humans- Most of his rabid enjoyment came from your touch, from the fantasies he keeps conjuring of you putting your lips elsewhere.

" You- You think so? "

The demon nods eagerly, a hand on the back of your head bringing you forward to lick the sheen off your lips, bite at your bottom one. His breathing was quick but yours came faster, it was something of an open secret that neither of you were doing this for the sake of learning anymore.

The next kiss is rougher courtesy of his excitement, but you can handle it, he's made sure of it. It's nothing new, even as his clawed fingers drift to your neck, tracing your throat and darting to your sides, hungrily groping, pulling you closer. A growl of his has you shivering just the way Lacai likes it, and he wonders for how much longer he can keep things tame.

His drool starts taking, as it always does.

Pretty eyes turn glassy, you nearly sway in his grasp, overheated, disoriented. You lean onto his pervy fondling and Lacai purrs his delight openly. A stream of soft, almost pleading noises dies muffled on his tongue, and he has to tense his every muscle not to throw you to the ground, show you what lies beyond hidden kisses- Make you feel it all firsthand, fuck you over and over and over and over so that you learn to be the very best. Trained by Vesper's head servant. Trained to be a fine example of his Ring's standards.

Lacai's greedy left hand finishes its trip up your thigh by dipping between your legs. The touch alone, even through your pants, is enough to sober you up some. When your legs try to close around his hand, either to trap it there or in a futile effort to remove it, he grins and presses harder against your core, another desperate gasp falling out of your slightly swollen lips.

" Mm, what's that face for? " He teases when you offer him a scandalized look.

" It's not all just kissing, you know honeybee? "

Lacai takes advantage of your contemplative silence to move his fingers towards your zipper, pulling it down playfully.

" What are you going to do when you want to move onto the next steps? I can help you prepare for that... "

" And then I can teach you how to touch others. " The concubus huddles closer, nearly panting. " After all, you have so much to learn... "

#Lacai oc #yandere teratophilia #yandere monster #monsterfucker #terato tag #monster boyfriend #demon x reader #not sfw #minors dni

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balioc · 9 months

Text

Thoughts on the Barbie Movie

Hoo boy. Here we go.

This is long. Spoilers abound.

The movie is not, in any normal sense, a Barbie movie (like this or this or this or whatever). It is not a story of Barbie doing the kinds of things that Barbie does in stories. It is an endlessly postmodern and self-referential movie about Barbie, which is to say, about the Barbie franchise and its role in culture. Which is, at least plausibly, an interesting thing for a movie to be.

You probably knew all that already. But it does give us a baseline of "this movie kind of had to be political and discourse-y, one way or another." Or even, to be more specific: "to some large extent this movie had to be about feminism, explicitly, if it was going to exist at all." How could you talk meaningfully about Barbie's role in culture without touching on that stuff?

The evaluative TLDR:

Barbie is very ambitious, and in many places very fun. It is also deeply confused, and fragmented, about what it's trying to say and do. Often it raises genuinely interested problems/scenarios and then totally fails to address them, or else addresses them in ways that are incoherent. The text knows that it's doing this, and on several occasions kind of apologizes for it; a couple of times it more or less looks into the camera and says "sorry, we're not going to deal with this properly;" but, well, that's not a substitute for dealing with things properly.

There is also a streak of genuine political nastiness running through the film, in a place where the story really cannot afford it. It...doesn't match up, tonally or thematically, with some of the surrounding material. I have no background at all in cinematic stratigraphy, but I would be fascinated to learn about Barbie's editorial history, because I have the vague sense that a more-cogent (and more-interesting) story got hacked apart and then Frankensteined together into something much cheaper and worse.

III

The opening sequence of the movie is wild. You've seen most of it -- or you can, if you haven't, and you want to -- because it is the film's first teaser trailer. Girls are playing listlessly with baby dolls; a giant Barbie appears like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey; and then the girls enter a frenzy of destruction, bashing their baby dolls' heads against the ground.

I don't know whether I would have found it as disturbing as I did, if I didn't actually have a baby of my own. But speaking from the standpoint of a parent...yeah, wow, it's more viscerally horrific than most actual horror I've seen recently. The narration says some stuff about Barbie providing a new and more rewarding set of imagination games to play, but the visuals by themselves tell a message loud and clear, which is: Barbie will turn your daughters into infanticidal maenads. It wouldn't need any editing at all to be part of a shock-you-silly Reefer-Madness-y moral panic film.

Which is really good! And really interesting! It starts us off on an undeniable thematic note: there is something primal and powerful and very dangerous about Barbie.

The very best part of the movie is probably the part that comes right after the opening, when we explore the movie's depiction of "Barbieland" by going through Barbie's Typical Day, before we get into any of the notional plot or metaphysics. It's joyful and charming in a consistent way. The gags are (mostly) great. The movie is in love with its base premise, and that love is palpable.

This sequence makes one thing very clear:

Barbie treats Ken like absolute dogshit. She is a bad girlfriend.

And it's taken seriously. I mean, it's played for laughs, almost everything in this movie is played for laughs, but...it's not mean-spirited, not here. It's not, like, "ha ha, Ken, what a contemptible loser." He's Pierrot, asking for very basic forms of affection and attention and respect, and getting the door slammed in his face over and over. It's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

That colors everything that comes later.

The movie doesn't forget this, or fail to acknowledge it. At the end, after everything, Barbie does apologize to Ken for her treatment of him. It's a halfhearted and supremely unsatisfying kind of apology, especially in context, but...it's there, in so many words! I'm not making it up! This thematic foundation was laid down, not-very-subtly, right at the beginning!

This movie, which is at least trying to be ambitious, is juggling a million themes. Many of them are dumb at their core, and have no real promise; many of them lack any kind of narrative synergy with the others. But there are at least two which, I believe, (a) are genuinely worthwhile individually and (b) work well together in a story.

One is: What does it mean to be a symbol rather than a person? To exist, not for your own sake, but for the sake of influencing the dreams and culture of entities that you don't know and can't really understand?

The other is: What is the proper ordering of the relationship between Barbie and Ken?

I've seen a number of Takes in which people say, essentially: Couldn't this have ended with the Barbies and the Kens just being decent to each other and treating each other like humans? Couldn't there have been equality and mutual respect, instead of the weird uncomfortable girlboss-supremacist stuff that we got? And I sympathize with that impulse tremendously, but the honest answer has to be: No. We cannot have simple equality and esteem between Barbie and Ken, not in a movie like this. That would be a lie. Because this is a movie about Barbie-as-symbol, and when you're looking at Barbie through that lens, it is true and unavoidable that Ken is an appendage and an afterthought. You can have toys for boys; you can have dolls for boys (even if you call them "action figures" or whatever); for that matter, you can have dolls of boys for girls, so that girls can tell stories centering on male characters; but that's not what Ken is, and never has been. There are no Ken stories, and no one particularly wants them. Ken exists to be Barbie's boyfriend.

(One of the most painful moments of the movie comes during the resolution wrapup. Ken wails to Barbie that he has no identity outside her. She says, basically, "you have to find one, because I'm leaving you." And he...acts like he's had an epiphany, and does a little silly celebration. But his "insight" is just literally "I'm Ken," there's absolutely nothing there, and of course it's the most hollow and awful thing in the world because he really does have no identity outside her.)

The movie's metaphysics are not even slightly consistent. The nature of Barbieland, and the ways that it affects and is affected by the real world, are completely different in every scene. In large part because the film can't ever pass up a gag, whether or not it's funny, no matter how much damage it does to the narrative and the theming overall.

The worst part is that the movie is not capable of saying anything remotely coherent about the real world, because its version of the "real world" is as weird and fake as its Barbieland. Will Ferrell's CEO of Mattel character is more of an absurd cartoon than any of the Barbies or Kens. Mattel HQ is some kind of surreal labyrinth tower out of The Matrix. A random receptionist can handle herself like James Bond in a car chase, for reasons that are [handwaved in a gag].

VII

So. Yes. There is the sequence in the third act where Ken takes over Barbieland with the power of patriarchy. This is pretty much as bad as it can be. And I say this as someone who thinks that the movie probably did actually need a plot thread doing roughly that kind of thing.

Almost as bad as it can be. The wannabe-patriarch Kens are gleefully goofy in a way that you can't help but love, or at least, I couldn't help but love it. Which has something to do with the writing and something to do with the charisma of all the Ken actors. The main Ken, Ryan Gosling's Ken, really seems to believe that being a successful patriarch has a lot to do with riding majestic horses and wearing a giant fur coat without a shirt, and when he takes over Barbie's Dream House he names it Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House -- that kind of thing.

But. Apart from that, it's real unfortunate. The justification for Ken's ability to conquer Barbieland with patriarchy, instantly and effortlessly, is -- in almost so many words -- they had no defenses against it, it was like the American Indians encountering smallpox. I...don't think I need to spell out the problems with that.

Worse yet, the whole sequence is soaked in, uh, let's call it "2014-era upper-middle-class social-status-oriented feminism." The real bad behavior on the part of the Kens, the stuff they do when they're not being adorably weird, is: mansplaining their extensive opinions about cars and movies, and wanting to show off how helpful and knowledgeable they are to "damsels" who are having trouble using machines or computers. Apparently that's the real problem at hand, the causus belli of the gender wars. The way that you deprogram a patriarchy-brainwashed Barbie is by...ranting to her about the stereotypical social irritations of upper-middle-class women (e.g. "you have to keep yourself thin but not act like you care about being thin," "you have to be a confident leader but also be nurturing and supportive," etc.) [note that the Barbies of Barbieland have never encountered these irritations, at least not at the hands of men]. And the girlboss victory montage consists of having the Barbies put on deceptive manipulative bimbo acts to stroke the Kens' egos, which sure is one way to depict girlboss feminist victory.

But the most unforgivable thing of all is the depiction of the patriarchy-brainwashed Barbies. They're lad-magazine caricatures, endlessly offering their Kens "brewski beers," dressing up as French maids, gazing on in cow-eyed adoration as their Kens mansplain stuff to them.

Barbie does, in fact, have a problematic history with the patriarchy. And it does not look like that.

VIII

@brazenautomaton:

Barbie isn’t someone who had to fight through the patriarchy to be seen as good enough to be an astronaut even though she’s a woman. Barbie’s a fucking astronaut because she’s fucking Barbie of course she’s good enough to be an astronaut.

That is...one aspect of the deep Barbie lore. It is the Barbie-nature that Mattel was trying to push, as far back as my own childhood; it's certainly the Barbie-nature that Mattel is trying to push in this movie. But there is another side to Barbie, even older and even more fundamental than Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie, and you can't make a postmodern movie-about-Barbie without addressing it.

This is Barbie the fashion doll. The Barbie who is an icon of ultra-consumerist teenage girlhood, whose life is defined by her fancy clothes and her fancy car. The Barbie whose most salient traits are her hourglass figure and her long blonde hair and her feet that are always posed to fit into high heels. The Barbie of "math class is tough!" The Barbie who is kinda vapid and shallow and, yes, boy-crazy.

How can you tell a story about Barbie wrestling with the culture of patriarchy, and not talk about that? How can you depict Barbie falling victim to the patriarchy and have it look nothing like that?

...the movie does bring up the specter of Vapid Consumerist Barbie, briefly. When Margot Robbie's Barbie first comes to the real world and meets with the sullen teenage daughter character, she has a litany of That Thing thrown in her face, and it makes her sad. But nothing is ever done with it, and it goes nowhere.

And it could all have fit together so well. That's the hell of it.

You can imagine the version of the story in which Ken conquers Barbieland with patriarchy, because the Barbies are actually vulnerable to patriarchal narratives, because Vapid Consumerist Barbie is the chthonic serpent that gnaws at the foundations of Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie civilization. He successfully makes them all forget that they're senators and astronauts and veterinarians, and turns them into airheaded teenage fashionistas who think that math class is tough.

And this avails him, and the other Kens, nothing. Even within the "patriarchal" version of Barbieland, Ken is still an afterthought and an appendage. He still gets treated like dogshit, just in a different idiom.

Because the thing that has always been true of Barbie, though every age and every phase of her mythos, is: she is the main character of her own story.

This is what the movie was telling us all the way back in the horrific 2001-pastiche prologue, right? Even when Barbie was just a swimsuit model, the point was that she let girls tell stories about themselves (or idealized/aspirational versions of themselves), not about boys or babies. That is a truer, and more powerful, feminist message about the meaning of Barbie than any message the movie actually bothers conveying.

The gag scene practically writes itself: the brainwashed Barbies are sitting around in a giggly slumber-party huddle talking about how dreamy Ken is, and actual Ken cannot get a word in edgewise, he can't even get them to notice he's there, because even Vapid Consumerist Barbie is fundamentally centered in her own life. Her narrative is not about a boy, it's about the experience of being a girl (mostly engaging with other girls) who likes thinking and talking about boys. Which is very much beside the point, if you started out with the complaint that your girlfriend never paid any attention to you.

Patriarchy hurts men too, indeed.

The movie ends, as I've intimated, in a disappointing squidge of thematic confusion. Barbie announces that she never really loved Ken, and leaves him, because...well, because these days the smart-set target audience is allergic to romantic narratives that Produce the Couple, as far as I can tell. Then she goes to the real world and becomes a real girl, a move that means nothing and is nonsensical even by the standards of the Barbie metaphysics, because the storytellers don't know how to end her arc and Becoming a Real Girl is the sort of thing that feels like a meaningful conclusion.

The Kens...sigh...the Kens ask for equal rights in Barbieland, more or less, and get told, "nah, but we'll throw you some bones." And they're happy with this, more or less, because they're dumb and don't really care. The narrator says, approximately, "maybe someday they'll make as much progress as women have in the real world." Haw haw.

It's probably too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something substantive about responsibility and kindness in relationships. It's almost certainly too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something about the nature of love symbols and love narratives. But all the pieces really were there, laid out very conspicuously. The movie could have wrapped up with: Ken doesn't need to be more important than Barbie, he doesn't even need to be as important as Barbie, he just needs to be treated with human decency. And if little girls are going to play with Barbies, and fantasize about having cute guys hanging all over them -- maybe they should have functional models of romance and human connection in which to root their fantasies, and not terrible ones.

#media analysis #barbie

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simplyreveries · 4 months

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Hi ^^ I read through some of your stuff and I really love your writing, can I request sleepover/cuddling headcanons for Riddle, Azul, Jamil, and Ortho? (And additionally, if it's okay could Idia be in Orthos platonically? Ignihyde sleepover :3)

sleepover; riddle, azul, jamil, ignihyde

thank you!<3

riddle rosehearts

now riddle can be stickler about these types of things but if you plead him enough, he can't help but give in. he does have habits and a pretty strict bedtime routine for himself- you're going to have to help him loosen up just a little bit. he can't help but feel his heart melt when he sees you cozied up in pajamas.

he does like to get some schoolwork done before rest because he's a nerd or whatever, but you can at least do your own thing and chat with him while he does. it's mostly you rambling and talking about something stupid the trio did earlier that day with him humming in acknowledgement or him shaking his head with a small smile of amusement.

though he chastises others for staying later than necessary... he will indulge in a few games with you, something like card games, he only knows a few so you may need to explain how some of them work. he mostly sees ace showing others them, but he doesn't play much himself. but riddle loves puzzles the most and he wants to be able to do something together rather than compete each other.

at the end of it once you initiate holding (ya he's the little spoon what about it...) him he's hesitant but turns into a puddle of mush. and please play with his hair, he'd hold onto you tighter. also, you know how once you get sleepy and overtired you open up easily? yeah that's kind what ends up happening. it's a good thing though because that just means he feels safe with you.

azul ashengrotto

hes the one to suggest you staying, during a more tired and overworked state as you came to visit him after mostro lounges hours in his office he turns clingy (i mean more so than usual) and doesn't want to let you go. if you even try to get up when hes holding onto you with his eyes closed he'll hold you tighter.

you only laugh and help each other to get ready for bed. he was curious when he saw any kind of skincare you do, he does that too but he still doesnt know that much with these things in the land. so now there's even more perks to staying over because now you get: azul without glasses and him begrudgingly letting you put a facemask on him. he was weirded out and even found them to be silly look, but boy was he THANKFUL when he felt his skin right after. not to mention he has a newfound love for you putting the skincare on for him, your touch gives him chills, but he wants more.

i bet you his bed is literally the softest thing ever... like you're sleeping well tonight. azul has got the silk sheets and everything. its nice until you feel how naturally cold azul's body is when he touches you and puts his arms around you. he prefers laying in a position where you're facing each other, your faces are practically right in front of one other. azul likes to rub your arm while hes trying to sleep... very soothing and comforting would recommend.

jamil viper

it's actually pretty common for you to decide to spend the night over rather than going all the way back to ramshackle. jamil isn't exactly complaining either he wants all his time with you. it's so pretty to see him with his hair all the way down and of course he wants you to play with it when he's holding you. he enjoys it when you offer to brush it for him.

you two usually play a lot of games with each other, cards, board games or mancala which he enjoys the most with you. he doesn't go easy on you even if it's supposed to be a simple and chill time together because hes a stupid bastard like that. he'll give some airy laugh and say "you probably shouldn't have done that" pointing out how you couldve done better against him.

if you're feeling hungry he'll cook something so good up for the two of you. he doesn't mind whether or not you join in cooking it to or watching him and chatting with him as he whips something that you just know smells heavenly up.

once you two are ready for bed though jamil prefers to hold you against him. he sometimes loves just burying his face into the crook of your neck, he'll kiss you lightly here and there too, its actually very sweet.

ignihyde

oh gosh any sleepover with these two are so fun. there's literally so much to do with them and so much technology to make use of in the dormitory that its insane. but of course, you guys spend A LOT of your time that night playing videogames together. that and idia pulls out his favorite board game and him and ortho are like a beast at those it feels so unfair. don't let those brothers team against you.

you get special privileges with them, so you get access to all of idias candy but you're also going to be eating what his diet consists of for the night- sodas and microwavable meals like ramen, of course.

surprisingly, you’ll end up seeing a more talkative side of idia— I mean he feels comfortable around you and if you bring up any of his interests, he can get really passionate about it.

okay but I totally feel like ortho lowkey has a lot of knowledge and dirt on the students around him. so, if you're want to know anything interesting about your classmates ask him, he doesn't really have any qualms on sharing that to you, he does it with such an innocent smile too as he happily shares the drama.

you and idia would probably pass out some point, watching a movie or playing some videogame, sprawled out on the floor, thankfully you won't have to deal with ignihydes cold hard floors because idia has a whole collection of blankets and pillows to share with you.

#disney twst #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst wonderland #riddle x reader #azul x reader #jamil x reader #idia x reader #ignihyde

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