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#its my new meds i think but it was better at home bc i could suffer on the toilet in peace. fsr away from people
ive been suffering gastrointestinally
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months
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damn i actually had a pretty good streak there of not having bad insomnia days. that's pretty impressive for me like i haven't really had one since early January
#usually i get them like. maybe once a week#i think it's partially my new meds?#got some meds for anxiety and oh my GOD i finally have something that WORKS instead of fucking lexapro AGAIN#literally all my doctors would go LEXAPRO!! even though it's never fuckin worked for me#BUT I'm on remeron now and it's WORKING#and i made sure to make my Scheduled Pill Time as something i could almost never miss (my mom getting home from work)#bc it's around the same time every day within a half hour range and since i have an outside reminder it helps me actually form a habit#i cannot form habits without outside help it's just. nearly impossible for me#and the meds do make me kind of tired but not enough that I'm fucking constantly sleeping like when i was on seroquel#i can actually fucking THINK through this tired it doesn't just completely take me out 100% of the time#I'm just Slightly Sleepy instead of a zombie#and it helps remind me that I'm tired bc usually i don't notice any physical feelings#(is there a word for that??????? i tried googling but it constantly gave me alexythemia which is not feeling EMOTION)#(when this is like. i can't feel tired or hungry or pain sometimes. or at least i lose the ability to be aware that I'm feeling it)#but anyway the new meds make me just tired enough to remember i need sleep#and i mean. i am sleeping slightly early but 8:30 isn't that bad i don't think#at least i have time to. you know. do stuff between the hours of 5-8 (the only hours my mom is home + stores is open)#and tbh staying up alone all night isn't. the best. for my mental health#i don't handle being alone well. and Pulse is being a dick about system barriers :P (/lh we know why it's needed rn)#we have. a deep deep fear of isolation. like not just being alone but Not Being Able To Call For Help At All#at least with phone/computer we have One outlet for help with emergency services so that helps slightly#we worry a lot about. what would happen. if we had a medical emergency. and nobody knew bc i couldn't contact anyone#mostly. the fear of Something Bad happening and not being found until hours or days later#i like being awake during the day tho bc theres Way More Options for help#and like the fear of Not Being Found doesn't go away like. ever#but at least when people are awake and around its lessened a lot#the fear increases exponentially with each possible second added to the wait time#so knowing that it's just One hour until mom is home and can check on me is a lot better than Nobody's Awake For 5 More Hours#(and my mom is deaf too so i can't just like. scream for help to wake her up)#(not that i can physically scream at all anyway my voice just cannot handle that anymore)
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hailieshapedbox · 2 months
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ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.
i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.
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bugjuices · 1 year
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i feel like i achieved alot today at work and then for work when i got home as well. i had to retype some pages and adjust them to make them easily readable and flow better in a step by step way which i think i did pretty well.
it all around probably took ~ 2 hours which if it had been anyone else but me they would’ve taken alot longer just to even type the words…. i typed and edited something up super quick within like 15-10 minutes and my boss was like well wait you didnt have to do that you can just copy and paste… and i was like yeah but its not like its hard to type lol…? i dont get how they think that’s saving any time. its literally not that big of a deal and i kept being so confused on why she kept reiterating i could just copy and paste it and im like okay but i also want to make it easier to read and to do that i have to word it in different ways sometimes. idk anytime i do something with computers theyre like well why didnt you do this nd its like because i like doing it this way im autistic and better with computers than you are calm down bro lol
they also always ask me why i make so many posters to put everywhere (which honestly is NOT alot ive made like 2-3 and do plan to make more but thats beside the point) its so people can start taking accountability when ive already told them five billion times so when its right in front of them when they do the thing they cant be like “oh i forgot” or “oh i didnt know” like i s2g!!! i try to be so nice and accommodating to newcomers esp ones who have learning disabilities like adhd and the such bc i get that but sometimes its like…. if you cant even remember the one simple thing of a poster or remember to notice it… i cant help u bro…. i do my best to make it eye catching and use simple words (but not to where its vague and people ask questions or wonder bc i have to have precise instructions as well so) but idk… i understand it will take a long time for it to stick once the routine is finally ingrained but getting there can be so grueling!! and maybe im not even frustrated at them im frustrated at how others arent so nice… i hate hearing people complain so i always feel like its my responsibility to try and help or like when they complain its always on me to get it done? and most of the time it is… but im glad kasey is back so we have someone other than me who remembers and is WILLING to do her job. so that i can properly train the new girls then…
anyways …. i am satisfied BUT I GAINED FIVE POUNDS ?! im assuming from stress and my period which…. i still need to get everything for myself settled i just keep genuinely forgetting:/
i need to take my meds on a regular basis again for good
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edna-skiffens · 3 years
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The Best Medicine
Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff
A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.
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Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.
Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.
Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.
You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.
Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.
“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.
“Nope.”
“So no sleep again, huh?”
“Nope.”
“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”
“Not being in the hospital.”
He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.
“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”
“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.
“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”
“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.
“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”
“I’ll be here.”
About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”
“Always.”
“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.
“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.
“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”
“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.
“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”
“Right. Right.”
“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”
“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”
“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”
“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.
“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”
You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.
“My story that boring?”
“Obviously.”
“Your sarcasm has no end.”
“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”
Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.
You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.
“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.
“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.
“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”
“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”
“Mhm.” You barely respond.
“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”
Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.
“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.
Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.
You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.
“Hi Y/N.”
“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.
“How are we feeling today?”
“Better. Ready to get out of here.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”
“Okay.”
“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.
You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.
You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.
You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.
He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.
It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.
Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.
“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.
He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.
Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.
“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.
“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.
Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.
Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.
“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.
You smiled up to him sweetly.
“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”
“Sleeping in my own bed.”
“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”
“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”
“What’s that?” He asks.
“The pudding cups.”
“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.
“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”
His smile grew wider as you giggled.
“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”
“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”
“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”
“That’d be wise.”
“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”
“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”
“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”
“Ah. Do you like him?”
“Sorry?”
“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”
“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.
“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”
“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.
“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.
“Neither.”
“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”
“Oh I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.
“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.
“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”
“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”
“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.
“Are you getting sleepy?”
“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”
You thought for a moment before asking your question.
“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.
“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.
“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.
“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.
“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.
“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”
“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”
You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.
“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.
You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.
Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.
You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.
When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.
“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.
You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.
“I’m happy right now.”
He smiled down at you.
“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”
The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.
“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.
He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.
“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”
Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.
“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”
You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.
When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.
The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.
But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.
The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.
“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.
“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”
You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.
“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”
“I say that sounds amazing.”
She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.
“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.
“Thanks Tanya.”
“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.
You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.
“Y/N! How are we doing today?”
“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.
“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”
“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”
“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.
You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.
Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.
“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.
“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”
“Okay we’ll be right in.”
Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.
An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.
“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.
“Tom. What are you still doing here?”
“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.
“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”
“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.
You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.
He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”
When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.
“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.
“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.
“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.
Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.
You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.
Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.
Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.
You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.
Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.
“Hi, I’m Taylor.”
“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.
“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.
“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.
“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.
“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.
“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.
“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”
“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.
“You good?”
You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”
He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”
This was it. This was goodbye.
“Thanks, Tom.”
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.
“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.
“Thanks.”
“So how are you feeling?”
“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.
“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”
You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.
“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,
Y/N,
In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.
555-5555
P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.
Tom
The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.
One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.
Lmk if you want to be on my tag list
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
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Always You | JJK (Drabble#2)
Summary: Jungkook is sick and needs your love.
Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader
Genre: fluff, implied smut.
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: none really! enjoy
Notes: no smut in this one! I’m surprised at myself lol Enjoy:)
Taglist: @seagulljk
© taestefully-in-luv
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are the definition of exhausted. Work was hectic today to say the least, you didn’t think all these cookie orders would come out of thin air like the way they did today. You and your coworkers are so god damn tired but still decided that you guys were going to hit a bar to celebrate that the day is over. You were going to at least. That is until you were on your way to your car when your phone started buzzing with incoming messages.
Jungkook 9:24pm
Baby I am dying I think I am actually dying
Jungkook 9:24pm
Is it normal to have hallucinations while on nyquil
Jungkook 9:25pm
Bc I keep thinking you’re here and your gorgeous lips are on my dick
Jungkook 9:25pm
Oh my goodddd I am dying, I need you
Jungkook 9:25pm
I need you
You look at your screen and frown…Jungkook mentioned this morning he was feeling sort of…under the weather. But now he’s talking about dying? While you are stubborn while sick, Jungkook is quite the opposite. He’s needy, wants attention and will pretty much do anything you ask.
y/n 9:27pm
Do I need to come take care of you?
Jungkook 9:27pm
Yes:( please come home…
“y/n!” Jade jogs up to you, stopping when she gets to you and your car. “Want to ride together?”
“Ah,” you bite down on your bottom lip, “Actually my boyfriend is sick and—”
“You can say ‘Jungkook’” Jade rolls her eyes playfully, “But I get it, saying ‘boyfriend’ is fun, huh?”
You blush, feeling embarrassed. “Yeah, well. Jungkook is kind of sick and he’s such a baby when he’s like this and—”
“No need to explain.” She smiles, “Go. Next time,” she promises. “But you owe me a drink for leaving me with these fools. Hazel is apparently meeting us too, and you know how Adam gets.” She teases, “So, you owe me.”
“Noted.” You laugh, “See you later, Jade.”
You get inside your car, turning the ignition on when your phone starts buzzing again, this time a phone call from none other than your boyfriend.
“Hello?” you bring the phone to your ear. “Jungkook?”
“Baby.” Jungkook drags out the word in a whine, “Please bring me more medicine.” He softly begs. You have to admit he does sound pretty pathetic. You can’t help but pity him as he starts dramatically coughing on the other side of the line.
“And please hurry. I need you. Need you to cuddle me and kiss me. I think your kisses could possibly cure me.”
“I’m about to leave work right now,” you confirm, “Which meds should I get you? What are you feeling exactly?”
“I’m feeling so…so in love with you.” He slurs from his drowsy state, then starts giggling.
“Jungkook.” You deadpan. “What are your symptoms?”
“It’s just a cold.” He says, “I think it’s what Jimin had a few days ago. That bastard passed it to me.”
“And you want me to kiss you?!” you laugh, “I’m not trying to get sick.”
“No, no. Don’t worry baby, our power of love will fight against it.”
“You are so…” you begin laughing again, your blush deepening. “I’ll be home in like 30 minutes, okay? Think you’ll be alive when I get there?”
“Your love keeps me alive.” He teases, “See you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, bye.” You bring the phone down and click the end button. The AC is blowing in your face, cooling you from the warmth that had crept on your cheeks while talking to Jungkook. It’s unbelievable that he’s able to make you blush like this, like as if this was completely brand new like you haven’t known him for years.
~~~~~~
The apartment is completely dark when you walk in and also completely quiet. Did Jungkook fall asleep? Did that NyQuil finally do its job? You set the bag of meds down on the breakfast table and turn on the kitchen light. You walk into the kitchen and grab a glass from the cabinet to fetch you some water, it’s nice and cold as if travels down your throat. It feels nice… the dark, quiet apartment—you need the rest after today. You think you’re about to go find a sleeping Jungkook and get some sleep yourself when you feel two strong arms wrap around your waist.
“You’re finally here.” Jungkook whispers, “I waited all day for you.” He whines and you smile for him even though he can’t see.
“All day?” you ask, “Should I have left work to come take care of you?” you tease.
“Yes,” he responds shamelessly. “I missed you so much…I think that’s why I just got sicker throughout the day.” He tightens his hold on you but immediately loosens his grip from how weak he feels.
“Come to bed.” He commands and you spin around in his grasp to face him.
“I need to shower and get ready first.” You explain and he looks at you with sad, tired eyes.
“No.” he pouts, “Who cares? Just change and come to bed.”
“Jungkook.” You chuckle. “I worked hard today, I need a shower.”
Jungkook brings you into his chest and he inhales you, taking in your scent and he melts.
“You smell fine, y/n.”
“I smell like cookies.”
“Smells good.”
“Fine, let’s go to bed.”
Jungkook’s sleepy face lights up and he turns your body around so your back is flush against his chest and he holds on to you.
“Lead the way.” He chirps, “I’m not letting go.”
“Jungkook…” you whine as you try walking forward and he follows you while holding on to you as tight as his tired body possibly can.
You two walk into your shared bedroom and he finally drops his arms to his side and makes his way into bed. You go to your drawer and pull out one of his t shirts…you slip off your work clothes for the day and drag the t shirt of your body.
“Cutie.” Jungkook comments as he lays back and watches you change.
“Oh shit, I forgot to grab your meds. I’ll be right back.” You say making Jungkook frown. You make your way back into the kitchen and grab the baggy full of medicine plus a glass of water and walk back into the room when you notice Jungkook dozing off.
“Babe?” you whisper and his eyes immediately shoot open.
“Come cuddle me.” He weakly pats the spot next to him and you smile.
“Take these first.”
“Yes mam.”
He looks up at you with his beautiful doe eyes, a look of submission written all over his face.
“These first.” You hand him two different pills as you sit on the edge of the bed and he swallows them down quickly while staring into your eyes.
“Now these.”
Jungkook nods his head while taking another two pills.
“Any more?” he asks quietly.
“That’s it for your meds.”
“Wrong.” He states. “I need the most powerful medicine of all.” He gives you a soft smile, “Need a kiss from my baby…please, please kiss me. Missed your lips all day.”
“Jungkook…”
“Your kiss will cure me, I’m sure of it.” He whispers softly. “All I need is you to be okay.”
Your eyes widen at his cute confession, he’s so god damn sleepy—you can tell. His eyes are barely staying open but he just wants to be with you. He is trying his hardest to stay awake because he missed you so much throughout the day.
“Please.” He quietly begs. “Need you.”
You search his eyes and find nothing but love in them, you can’t help but beam at him. One kiss can’t hurt you, right?
You scoot closer to him on the bed, your hands finding themselves in his Jungkook’s hair as you softly bring his face closer to you.
“One kiss.” You promise and Jungkook nods his head slowly with a dopey grin on his face.
“We’ll see about that.” He says under his breath and you laugh while leaning in closer to his face.
You lean in until his breaths hit your lips, your lips just barely touching his and he grows weaker at the contact.
“Please.” He begs again, his words hitting your mouth. “Please.”
You peck his lips softly, just giving him a slow kiss. He kisses back, his lips moving against yours so tenderly it makes you melt. You can tell he has no energy but he continues to kiss you. He slants his mouth over yours and tries to deepen the kiss, you tilt your head and give him a better angle. You said one kiss but…
Suddenly, you feel the wetness of his tongue poking out, trying to find its way between your lips. You open your moth just a little wider to give him access to your own tongue, he slides his in your mouth and slowly caresses his with yours. He releases a long, soft moan and you hate that you get so turned on hearing him. This isn’t a moment to get turned on, this is a sweet, tender moment.
Jungkook slips his tongue out and begins pecking your lips again, a little faster than before. But then he pulls back, his breaths nice and heavy.
“I’m so dizzy.” he says with his eyes closed.
“Me too.” You admit, feeling quite breathless yourself.
“No…I mean, like, literally. I don’t feel good.” He breathes out, “Kissing you, I think took all the energy I have left…what are you like a succubus or something?” he jokes.
“Baby, you need to sleep.”
“Snuggle with me, please.” He pats the spot next to him again and you get up and walk over to that side of the bed. You slip underneath the sheets and move your body close to his. You can feel all his heat radiate off his body and you frown…he must have a fever.
“Let’s sleep, my love.” You say but Jungkook weakly shakes his head.
“Wanna hear about your day.” He sinks deeper into the covers and lays his head on your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“It was busy, we had what felt like a million orders today. Yoongi even came by but left because we were so busy.”
“Mhm.” He nuzzles his face into your breasts, “Did you think of me today?” he asks.
“I always think of you.” You admit.
“I thought of you so much today.” He says between heavy sighs, “Missed you so much.” He squeezes your body tighter. “I don’t think I can be without you for very long.”
You feel your heart pinch in your chest…because…
“You can. You’re just a baby.” You tease.
“No, I really don’t think I can. I felt myself grow weaker every moment I was without you.” He huffs into your chest. You caress his back as he speaks, his words becoming more and more slurred and distant from on another. He’s so tired.
“You love me that much?” you get out in a whisper and it’s silent for a few moments, you think maybe he finally fell asleep until you hear him sigh out.
“I literally don’t love anyone as much as I love you.”
You keep quiet for a few moments too long because after around a minute or so you hear Jungkook lightly snoring into your chest…you can’t help but smile down at him. He’s wrapped his entire body around you, holding you, squeezing you. You caress his back some more and start to feel yourself fall asleep as well. Your eyes getting heavier and heavier until the world becomes dark.
~~~~~
“Good morning!” You feel Jungkook’s breath on your ear, you begin to open your eyes, blinking lazily at your surroundings.
“Morning?” you question since it’s still dark in the room. “It’s still night?” you ask.
“It’s like 5am.” Jungkook states. Your eyes finally begin adjusting in the darkness and you notice Jungkook looks ten times better. He still looks tired but he has more life.
“Your kiss cured me, if that’s what you are thinking about.” He smiles that bunny smile and you laugh.
“I thought it drained you of your life?” you sit up on your elbows, “That I’m a succubus?”
“No, it helped me sleep so it could work its love magic on me and now I feel almost all the way better.”
“Almost?” you quirk a brow and he chuckles.
“I think I need more from you to make me all the way better.” He wiggles his brows at you and sends you a wink.
“What more do you need?” you lean forward and peck his lips, but you linger in his space. He smiles against your mouth and kisses you again.
“I think my hallucinations were actually visions of the future.”
You tilt your head, trying to remember what his text said about hallucinations when realization hits you.
“You need my lips wrapped around your cock?”
“I think that’s the ultimate cure.” He kisses you again, “Don’t you think?”
“You’re so needy.” Your lips move over his sensually, your tongue making its way into his mouth. He whimpers into your mouth when he feels your hand grab a hold of his hardening member. He pulls away from you and smiles softly.
“I’ll always need you.”
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ninliane · 4 years
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walking in on him naked while he’s doing something (tiktok challenge)
ft. atsumu, shirabu, sakusa hehe. this keeps appearing on my fyp so i decided to write up for a few boys! let me know if you want more characters! 
also this challenge is gonna be while you guys are in quarantine and this will have their post-timeskip occupations so this is spoilers for the manga!
atsumu miya
so he cant go out boohoo no volleyball
it didn’t really stop him from working out though
when you two moved in together he had a separate room in the suite for a home-gym (yes you live in a suite. do u know how much money pro-volleyball players make??)
he was on a lat pulldown machine working on his arms only wearing a black shirt as well as gym shorts
meanwhile you’ve just ben scrolling on tiktok until you saw the walking in challenge
you laughed at it and that gave you the idea. 
you stripped down all of your clothes in the bathroom and wrapped a towel around your body
filming yourself from the mirror you walked out of the bathroom in a fast pace, giggling to yourself as you thought how stupid this was
you stopped just before entering the glass-door and heard him grunting as he pulled the handle of the machine down repeatedly 
(not gonna lie kinda made you excited)
you walked in and dropped the towel in front of him 
“hey babe what’s- oh.”
meanwhile you were just laughing quietly as you held your phone up 
you weren’t sure if the red on his face was from exhaustion or from you, either way he was panting heavily had a dropped the handle, the weights making a big sound
he didn’t say anything else and only chuckled as he stood up, effortlessly he threw you on his shoulder making you scream a bit, and walked out of the gym 
“you’re gonna help me on my next workout now, kay babe?”
shirabu kenjirou
poor bby he’s a 5th year med student so he can’t get a break during this virus 
he’s not a doctor yet but he’s constantly bombarded with more work as he took up an internship with one just before the virus breakout
luckily though he could work form home, but that meant several online zoom meetings, tons of research, faxed paperwork etc.
you wanted to give him the break that you were having and decided to do that one tiktok challenge 
it had been awhile since you guys had been intimate at all and you were worried that it might affect his mental health
you decided to have a bit of fun too. 
you stood behind his home office door and heard his voice. he was on a conference call. oh this could not get any better :)) 
you opened the door and dropped the towel as your held your phone up recording him
before this he was just boredly listening to the conversation as an intern who was there to take notes
when he heard the door open he took a brief glance up to see you before looking back down to his notepad
then he immediately took a double look
his face turned into the deepest shade of red as he started stuttering, looking at you up and down
he quickly moved to his laptop and made sure to mute his mic before looking at you again 
“(y/n)..” he breathed out, “what..are you doing?” he meant that to sound like a warning but his face was throwing him off
“giving you a break.” you simply said
“yeah but not while i’m at wor-” he couldn’t even finish he sentence as he stopped himself and exhaled a large amount of air 
he gave you his familiar dead panned look and stood up from his desk.
he then quite literally threw you to the couch, climbing on top of you and moving his wrist to look at his watch
“i still have 5 minutes till i present,” he looked down on you once more, “we’re making this quick.”
sakusa kiyoomi 
okay this guy was on edge bc of the virus, 
but it was a chill edge
he was more than happy to stay quarantined at home. he definitely doubled his daily sanitization of the apartment, but he didn’t do stupid things like hoarding and over stocking on supplies 
it was a bit tiring to keep up with his constant nagging but hey its not like you had anything else to do 
you two were currently dusting the house, a spray bottle in your other hand and you sighed 
you then remembered something you overheard in a call between sakusa and atsumu
“and then while i was at the gym my girlfriend walked in wea-” 
“gross thats disgusting goodbye.” 
that sounded fun :))
you said you were gonna get something in that bathroom as you removed your clothes and wrapped yourself in a towel 
you excitedly ran downstairs and held your phone in you hand
“omi-kun~” you called out
he turned his head and looked at you, his expression not changing as he looked at you up and down, almost at a glare
nervous you thought “oh..well this is awkward..” it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking, honey, sorry
he then pulled down his mask and walked towards you “perfect.” you heard him say, relighting the hope and excitement you had, 
“you can get rid of your house germs.” he said as he handed you two new soap bars and a scented shampoo bottle. 
you just stood there dumbfounded as he walked to his previous position and continued with his chores.
“yoomi!!! that’s not how this works!” you complained dragging yourself up to the bath. what you didn’t know was that beneath the mask he had a faint red on his cheeks as well as an adorable small smile that you would never ever see. yet.
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blacktinnedpeaches · 2 years
Text
christmas was way nicer than i had any expectation of it being even like 2 days ago - i didn’t cry, had a nice time, obvs couldn’t join in at christmas lunch (never can, tho - that’s not new) but hung out, we played a really stupid trivia game that me and ana had a ball w/ and ben sort of good-naturedly tolerated, opened presents (im really excited to finish the diorama ive got ongoing + start some new shit). we went on a walk which was COMICALLY bad - like idk why brits will lie to themselves + each other that a fucking freezing walk in heaving rain is ‘bracing’ and ‘refreshing’ - it’s just bad. ana was like ‘but it’ll be so nice when we get back home :-)’ and im just like ? but we didnt even NEED to leave home?! we could have just stayed there?
i was more amused by it than anything tho bc after the month ive had like being cold and wet simply is not a big enough problem to get upset about
day 3 back on fluoxetine and nothing really to report. i think im yawning more + i think my mouth is drier + i think i feel a bit sick for a few hours after taking it but nothing worth getting excited about. mood is actually a lot better but that has nothing to do w/ the meds bc its only been like 3 days - see this is what always happens - there is some finite episode based on real-life stressors, everyone starts pushing me to take the meds again, im like “ok” and then start to recover naturally, and everyone’s like “omg you see? it’s the meds :)’ and im just like :| however i am not against trying shit out as long as you go in eyes-open
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cvastals · 3 years
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look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B
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* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )
background.
middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder
(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad
(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw)  wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping
the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving
(internalized homophobia tw)  things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things
can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field
doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar
connections.
ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms
ppl he went to school w? :D
some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)
some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral
current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH
Anything u Desire
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lihikainanea · 4 years
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can you please write smth where tiger's having a rough migraine but she wont tell bill bc she knew he'd drop work and would be at home in a snap of fingers if she told him smth, and then when he comes home he finds her in her room with all her blinds shut and doors closed to not let the light come through bc it makes her head ache more and its hurting so much already that she had thrown up a couple of times and he's worried and upset that she didnt call him but then takes care of her?
oh goddddd nani babes this is so sweet. As a fellow migraine sufferer, god I feel junk punched by this one.
I don’t know about any of you, sometimes I can feel a migraine come on from a day or two before--something will just feel off, I’ll get a nosebleed, or I have one of those “haha I’m so stressed god it’s a miracle I haven’t gotten a migraine yet” moments and then the next day--BAM. Flattened. Sometimes too, though, they just come out of nowhere. I’ll be fine, and then my vision will skew, my stomach will turn, and I know I have about a 5-10 minute window before I’m in some serious pain.
I get all the symptoms, too. Nausea. Extreme sensitivity to light. Blurred vision, or total blackout vision. Splitting pain. If I’m lucky, it only lasts a day. I’ve had some bad ones that last a long ass time and it’s awful.
So like, look--maybe tiger feels one coming on. Maybe Bill is on set--he’s in town, just on set for 16 hours every day--and tiger has been working like the boss bitch she is. But one morning at work--she feels it. That drilling sensation above her left eye--it’s a headache for now, but the minute the vision in her eye goes wonky she knows what she’s in store for. She quickly packs her shit, pops a few really strong Tylenol in an effort to fight it off (sometimes it works), and she heads home. She has a routine, one that works half the time--some strong Tylenol, a whole bottle of gatorade, and ten minutes later--two espressos. Hydration and caffeine can sometime nip it in the bud, if she’s lucky.
She’s not so lucky this time. She gets these, usually with the change of seasons or the barometric pressure being all off. She half contemplates calling Bill, but when she squints her eyes enough to see the time she realizes that he’s only been on set for two hours, and probably hasn’t even made it out of the make up chair yet. This shoot is a short one and every hour counts, and she can’t ruin his day.
Instead she stumbles to try and get her stuff ready for the long haul--cold compresses, warm compresses, her bottle of pain meds, some water. She barely makes it to bed.
And that’s exactly where she proceeds to stay for the next 14 hours.
The poor bean, it’s awful. The pain is so bad at one point that she dry heaves. And even if she wants to call Bill now, there’s no fucking way she can even function long enough to do that. She can barely speak. She’s just curled up in bed, in complete darkness, trying to relax and not tense up, whimpering in pain.
Bill wraps around midnight--he calls her, but it goes to voicemail. He thinks maybe she might be asleep, but something doesn’t sit right because she hasn’t texted him all day--and when she goes to bed, she always tells him goodnight. It’s a sweet sentiment, but also a warning that his lanky ass better not make too much noise when he comes home, lest he wake her up. He shakes off a feeling of malaise, and heads home.
But the hairs on his neck stand on end when he pulls up and every single one of the lights inside are off. He can’t explain it, but his Little Human alert is dinging furiously and he doesn’t know why. Taking the steps two and three at a time, he swings open the door and calls out to her.
But like, listen--the door whipping open and shutting harshly after, Bill’s loud voice calling for her? Fuck man, that’s torture when you have a migraine. And all he hears is her whimper, her choking sob, and he knows right away. And while he wants to be angry, his first instinct is just...concern. Care. He heads to the bedroom immediately, trying to walk as softly as he can.
“Oh kid,” he whispers lowly. He approaches slowly, crouching on her side of the bed and putting a soothing hand on her. She’s scrunched up so small, tensed in a tiny ball, in way too much pain.
“Billy,” she croaks out, and it’s half sob, half relief, half whimper of pain.
“It’s okay tiger, I’m here,” he whispers, “I got you.”
He’s trying not to talk too much because even a whisper is too loud, and tiger is just kind of full on crying now which is no doubt causing her even more pain.
“Hush,” he soothes, “I’ll be right back.”
There are a few things that help ease some of the pain, but more often than not, she just has to let it pass on its own. He gets some room temperature water and a straw, to help her swallow some more meds. He gets some new cold compresses, and heats up her warm ones. Granny made a ginger tea, a home remedy, that used to help with tiger’s symptoms--so he makes a mug of that.
He makes his way back to the room, puts the straw to her lips for a sip. When she’s done he just gently pushes two pain pills between her lips, giving her the straw back so she can swallow.
He doesn’t want to move her just yet--he will eventually, but he’ll let the pain meds kick in a tad first. Instead he just gently--oh, so gently--replaces the warm compress on her neck, places a new cool one on her forehead. She flinches at that one, and he apologizes softly.
She can’t sit up and sip the tea, and he purposely popped a few ice cubes in so it wouldn’t scald him. But then he just real gently dips two fingers in, and holds them to her mouth. She sucks the tea off of them that way--and he keeps doing it. Just getting a bit of liquid on his fingers and holding them to her mouth so she could wrap her lips around.
His other hand is on her somewhere--her thigh, her side. He wants to weave it through her hair but he can’t touch her head when she’s like this, even the softest head scritchies would still cause her too much pain. When she’s halfway done her tea, he starts on the second part of what usually helps her--just holding her tight, giving her something else to focus on, and pressing on a few pressure points that she taught him.
“I’m gonna move you kid,” he whispers. and she stirs a little. he climbs onto the bed as gently as he can, gathering her in his arms as he sits with his back to the headboard. She lets out an agonized whine.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “It’ll feel better in a second.”
He scoots her up onto him a bit more, cradles her head to his chest. He pats gently at her stomach with one hand, using his other one to pinch hard between her forefinger and her thumb. He alternates between pressing down hard on it, and rubbing slow circles.
It helps, but nothing but time will make it completely go away.
I’ll bet he falls asleep like that, doesn't he? Because pain is an exhausting thing, and after so many hours of it, tiger’s body just kind of shuts down and knocks itself out--and miraculously, she falls asleep. He hears her breaths evening out, feels some of the tension leaving her, and he too kind of sags in relief. He doesn’t dare move once she drifts off, not wanting to wake her. He knows how painful these are for her, and he’s going to have a long talk with her tomorrow about how she should have called him. How he doesn’t ever want her to be in pain like this, for that long, alone again. 
But for that night, he drifts off real soon after she does. Propped up against the headboard like that, her all curled up in his arms.
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