#its too cold to go outside. for me atleast.

[ventcode]

why must i be the "always available friend"

#I'm always available for the most part #which sounds like a good thing but I'm bored all the time and i just. sleep instead of doing anything productive #cause nobody cares what i do #I could go to afterschool. or the park. could hangout with my friends. #my friends are busy alot #afterschools too loud #its too cold to go outside. for me atleast. #i could draw but my insecurities get to me #i could edit but besides making my own layouts im burnt out again #I could finally clean my room but tbh no thanks im not doing that #all i do is daydream and sleep and just play games #I'm getting bored of it. doing it alone. #when only a few people actually make you happy this is getting out of hand. my bordem. my waiting. #waiting for something to happen?

[starrshaddow]

part 2 of that university mizu i wrote

So you have her hoodie right?

Its so big on you btw (reaches your thighs) but it's also very comfy.

You're on your way home, on the bus. She waved at you goodbye from outside the window. Of course you waved back. Without her hoodie, she's just wearing a plain tee shirt.

It's not even cold in the bus.

Hell, its not even that cold outside too.

So u cant help but smile at her caring gesture.

Your hand goes up to your lips to suppress the big smile on your face.

then you realize her hoodie smells like her too.

Now her perfume is stuck on you too.

You could still smell her perfume even after you've taken off her hoodie

___

You texted her that you'll return it tomorrow. You both have your respective classes. she has morning class while you have afternoon classes.

Lmk if your class is done, im waiting outside ur building :))

That was your mesage an hour ago. She didnt respond.

You constantly looked at the time and checked her schedule, double thinking whether or not this is her actual building.

Ding!

I'm omw

it wasnt too long until she walked out of the building with her bag slung over her shoulder. You smile.

Then you notice there was someone else with her.

Whoever he was, he was creating years amount of stress on mizu's face

"Why'd you keep telling me to go away? Not like i'm going to scare her off! Or maybe you're scared. You scared she'd ditch you for me once she sees me? What? You scared?"

"shut up." mizu said through gritted teeth

Then her serious and annoyed expression quickly shifted to a more softer and gentler when she sees you.

Her brow relaxes and she stops walking fast, trying to escape her chatterbox of a 'friend'.

You smile at her and you wave.

You look at the man beside her a polite smile and an acknowledging nod.

You walk to Mizu to give her a paperbag

"thanks"

She looked confused as she peaked inside the paperbag

"its- uh, your hoodie," you point yourself, "the one you let me borrow? Remember? Yesterday?"

She huffed a laugh at your stammering

"i was hoping you're not going to return it."

Huh?

She gave you back the paperbag

"keep it."

You look at it in uncertainty, you glance at the man beside her who also seems kinda surprised, then to mizu who looks at you encouragingly.

Take it.

Is what she seems to say.

So you did, but unable to look her for long in the eye from being flustered.

"Thanks?" you laughed. "Do you want to have breakfast?"

"It's eleven."

You rolled your eyes

"then brunch."

Then you remembered her friend,

"oh,- uh, he can come with if he wants to! What's your name, by the way?"

"Taigen!-" "Absolutely not."

Taigen looked at Mizu like she just told him to go to hell. (she kind of did, in her mizu way)

even you were taken back by her cold COLD COLD voice.

"he's busy." mizu said with finality.

Taigen frowned

"What's with you? Can't i atleast meet your new friend? Its not everyday you get a new friend! Dude, come on!"

Mizu turns to him with a sharp glare behind her glasses.

Taigen huffs and walks away.

"Whatever. Fucking rude." then he smiles at you, a very good smile that probably has the intent in looking handsome. "My names Taigen by the way, if you ever get done with Mizu's bitchiness my number is-"

Mizu just pushed him away by his face and went to you, grabbed you by the hand and speed walked out of there (it was hard to keep up, she walks fast).

"he's something."

"something to get rid of, more of." she responded quickly, it made you laugh.

That was when you started asking her if she have other people in the uni she's close with. She said yes and told you about akemi and ringo.... and taigen.

"out of all of them, i like being with you the most."

GIRL COME ON

SHE'S SUPER INTO YOU BUT YOU DONT WANT TO JUMP INTO CONCLUSIONS

THIS UNI READER AND MIZU IS MAKING ME PULL OUT MY HAIR

Mizu: i am literally in love with you

Reader: oh haha i love my friends too

___

Mizu started introducing you to her friends one by one after that. She wasnt surprised to see you and ringo get along since you both share a very calm and kind vibe.

Akemi, you were a bit hesitant at first. I think you felt somewhat insecure? She just looks so pretty, and...

"Oh, this is (Y/n)? It's nice to finally meet you!"

But when she spoke to you and you start talking to her, she's a very interesting person. She's kind, have that fierceness in her, but honest and polite. She's cool, and you got along well with her.

Then there's taigen.

You didnt hate him, but he does get overwhelming at times. He does say funny comments.

You thought him and mizu's interaction was the best it can be but man, is seeing him, mizu, and akemi banter is the best.

It's like a sitcom. Insults thrown here and there which usually ends with taigen with his ego or face bruised.

___

the most memorable thing you two had was during a party

Its so full of people, like touching shoulders at how many there were and you were both just there to pop in and say hi to akemi, wish her a happy birthday. Stay a few hours and leave to hang out somewhere.

You two love doing that. going in a very extroverted place just to say you went only to leave early to do whatever introverted stuff you two want to do (like stop by the grocery because you needed to restock, or stop by the park on mizu's way home because there are cats there)

anyways, so there were so many people right?? And they were havng fun, its loud, they're dancing. and you're starting to feel bothered by them. You and mizu are holding hands to get through the people. You both want to go home but you still have to find akemi.

She stops to make sure you're close behind her, and just as you were about to catch up to her, the crows moves like a tidal wave you end up being caught in it like a fish caught in the currents.

You get shoved so hard that you let go of mizu's hand and end up stumbling forward.

Youre pressed up to someone

and youre too embarassed and too scared to look.

Then you smell their perfume

Mizu.

Your heart thumps.

And you stopped breathing when she shifts, so your head is tucked under her jaw. Her hand finding its way around your waist

it was like she was shielding you away from the people, a crowd that you hate so much.

She's warm. super warm

Or maybe its just you and your lesbian disaster tendencies?

The fact that your height difference was even made more obvious in this situation wasnt helping

Then the crowd shifts and finally there's space again.

And even when there was space, she didnt pull away.

So you did.

You pulled away because you didnt want to make her uncomfortable, not knowing she cherished every single second of it.

That was the first time you two even made physical contact. Like straight up somewhat intimate physical contact that goes more than hand holding and arm touches.

None of you mentioned it on the way home.

But you were both thinking about it.

(i bet mizu felt giddy over it but her face remained stoic lmao)

___

i think mizu thinks you dont like her back the same way she likes you. (come on, she might as well marry you at this point)

So i think what she did was she wanted to enjoy your presence and convesations and decided she'll tell you when she can see that you feel the same way. if you still dont reciprocate her feelings then she'll definitely court you (in a non obvious way) until you do

___

when she came over to your apartment it was when you definitely trust her lotsa to be there.

You guys watched movies in a projector. Overtime it made mizu sleepy and she drifted off.

You were so invested in the movie you just noticed it when you heard her low soft breathing. (she's quiet during the movie, she made little comments and remarks like "why would she go there? Is she stupid?")

SHES SO CUTE WHEN SHES ASLEEP OKAY

She looks so unguarded.

So you took your phone and snapped a pic. You even replaced her contacts picture to it.

Her hair was down today (rare times). You think it looks great on her too.

when she woke up, she was super embarassed and apologetic

"no, its fine! Dont worry about it." then you showed her her picture. "you look really cute by the way."

Mizu didnt know how to react??? But she did march towards you to grab your phone but you easily held it away and dodged her.

She gave up

so she stood there and looked you directly in the eyes. Face half amused and adoring

"you're such a fucking brat."

Then she left and went back to your couch. Her long hair swaying behind her.

i'd be lying if i said that statement lived rent free in your mind

That was the first time you heard her curse

___

if she went in your home, you did too in her dorm. it was during a school break. Her roommate was away visiting her family.

Turns out she lived closer to the uni than you. It's just a few minutes walk away.

it made you feel warm knowing she had to walk maybe ten minutes? just to wait for the bus with you, and walk another ten to go back here again.

She never mentioned it too

Mizu's a real clean freak kind of person, she wants everything to be organized. But you also learned she cant cook. She even burned a pasta, how do you burn a pasta?!

"i didnt know i had to boil water first."

"well what did you do first?"

She was silent then she turned away from you

"...i placed the pasta in a pan with oil."

You dont know what to say anymore

I think youre the one to teach her (other than ringo) how to cook.

Also when you both were cutting vegetables, mizu held her knife wrong so you'll correct her and teach her how.

"here, let me show you."

You held her and positioned the knife properly on her hand. While you explained and taught her how to easily slice a cabbage, you missed how she cheekily smiled.

We all know how great mizu is with a knife.

She just wanted a reason to hold your hand.

"ringo, i dont think i'll be going to your cooking lessons next week."

"what? why? Is my teaching skills not good?" ringo asked worriedly

"no, you're great, ringo. I just..." she smiled, "want to learn from someone else."

___

I think the gang had enough of you two pining each other like a bunch of idiots, so they all had the plan of getting you both drunk after exams under the excuse of 'celebrating'.

But it didnt work

Because you were incredibly responsible and drink slowly (two hours have passed and you're still drinking from the same glass)

While mizu didnt drink at all (she knows what they're doing and she doesnt like it because she wants you or her to confess during the right time and place while being sober. hell no is she going to drunkleny confess to you at the sidewalk).

The gang (mostly taigen) tried to force either of you to drink but it didnt work.

Akemi nudged taigen from under the table. And that was their cue to go to Plan B.

Plan B? Taigen starts hitting on you (was supposed to be inconspicuously but he's bad at being inconspicuous)

compliments you, jokes that made you laugh, and jabs of insults to mizu.

anyways, i think mizu got annoyed and went up to go to the bathroom.

You notice and excuse yourself from the group. You go after her.

She was cleaning her glasses with the end of her shirt when you got there.

You see the slight furrow in her brow and the tightness on her jaw.

You smile comfortingly at her.

"Wanna ditch this place with me?"

"You can stay. You look like you're enjoying yourself, anyways."

She doesn't return your smile like she usually do. She wasn't joking.

your smile falters and you slowly approach her.

"What do you mean? Of course i am, they're our friends."

I think mizu's upset because she's starting to think you really dont like her at all. Or maybe you just don't like a 'her' in general. You don't giggle the same way as you did to taigen, nor do your eyes shine when he compliments you.

She wants to leave and think.

Mizu sighs and turns to you

"i'm going. Tell them that for me."

"what?" you grab her hand when she walks past you. "Mizu, what- where are you doing? What's wrong?"

Should she say it?

Say how much she likes you that it's absolutely breaking seeing you not realize it?

She wanted to scoff.

Hell no. She's not going to admit just because fucking Taigen started hitting on you.

Then she looks at you, and just like that all her frustrations and annoyance washes away.

You looked genuinely upset and worried for her.

Your eyes are sad, and you're looking up to her like she just told you she's leaving forever.

Oh

She sees it now.

That all this time you have been looking at her differently, but she wasn't able to see it because she sees you all the time.

You look at her with so much longing and care that it made her feel weak.

So she holds your hand that's gripping her wrist and offers you a gentle smile.

"I'm going to tell them we're going. How's that?"

There it is.

Your heartfelt smile.

"Okay."

#mizu x reader #modern mizu

[wifey-badalee]

ALL I NEEDED WAS A LITTLE LOVE AND AFFECTION,WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

How it started!

When I was six when I noticed my mom never really payed attention to me Ike other mom with my friend’s ,it made me question her as to why?

“Mom why don’t you love me the way my friends moms do? You never hold me and cuddle me like they do. What’s wrong with me?” “ Oh , I don’t know what you want me to say those are your friends moms I’m your mom we aren’t the same”, she said. I guess she is right not all moms are the same I’m just overreacting,I know she loves me a lot…..right?

MY FIRST DAY OF GRADE 1!

“Mom I’m so excited for my first day ,I hope I make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun since I’m a big girl now I can go out and play a lot with my new friends right?”

“Yea atleast you won’t be such a burden anymore bugging me to play with you,” she said.

“U-uhm yea I guess so I’ll be occupied with my new friends.” Little did I know making friends isn’t so easy

“OK we’re here get out quickly before you’re late,” moms shouts.

“Well aren’t you gonna walk me to my class that’s what all parents do for first graders?”

“ You’re a big girl now you don’t need me to walk you to your class you can find it by yourself.”

O-oh OK bye, I love you!” Cricketssss ,that’s all I heard

I walked into school with a big smile excited for this new chapter, a group of girls around my age were standing outside my class, I knew they were in the same class.

“HI guys my name is Isabelle I guess we’re gonna be in the same class for the rest of the year we should be friends!”

“Uhm is this a joke, do you think just because we’re in the same class we should be friends? Uh yeah that’s not how it works but good luck making friends with the others,” the one girl snickers.

My mood was immediately ruined and I felt sad after that encounter, they all looked at me and laughed along with the girl. What is wrong with me why isn’t anyone nice to me, why don’t they want to be my friend!?

The entire day went on like this no one wanted to be my friend, I tried so hard to make friends but they all had their own cliques and didn’t need another friend, was I really that bad? I mean my mom didn’t like me so much so there must be a reason no one likes me, I just need to find out what.

MY 10TH BIRTHDAYY PARTY!

I’m now 10 and its my birthday party all of my friends have been invited ,I’ve grown so much since the last time, I know have a lot of friends since I moved school last year, we moved because mom didn’t like the neighborhood anymore so we moved a few blocks down, my school was then too far so she transferred me to another, it was so much better there, I made so many more friends than I could have ever imagined, maybe something wasn’t wrong with me after all…I’m actually super smart, my new teacher wants to send me for an advanced programmer for gifted kids, though I don’t think I will go, mom says it's a waste of time they just want to use me as an experiment, which I don't get or believe, speaking of her she hasn’t changed she’s so much colder now, I think she genuinely hates me as I got older I noticed it’s not normal for parents to be so cold to their kids all of my friends parents love them so much and will do anything, her saying she isn’t other parents was just an excuse, I’m not stupid I’ve seen the context clues she just doesn’t like me, but I don’t know why? I’ve done everything to please her I even started playing soccer which I hate because of how injured I get, yet she still doesn’t notice me or care . WHY CANT SHE JUST LOVE ME AND GIVE ME AFFECTION US THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

“ Your daughter is super smart , you must be so proud. She’s a wonderful little girl you have done an amazing job, she’d so kind gentle and lovely, she truly is a daughter all moms would wish for,” says my friends mom.

“Oh she’s nothing special, I’m sure your kids are just as lovely,” my mom replied.

Wow can’t she just accept the compliment and compliment me as well? This completely ruined me day, I don’t want to celebrate my birthday anymore. My aunt alba looks at me sadly as she saw my face drop she’s the only one who understands me and sees how my mom treats but she’s too scared to talk about this with my mom.

3 YEARS LATER!

I’m now 13 , I’ve just come our of the longest day of high-school which was dreadful, who knew high-school would be such a horrible place to be it’s like he'll, the workload is insane and so is the people here I hate it and I hate my life. My school life is already bad I just need to go home to my personal life which is worse.

The sun is blazing hot today and my head is pounding…oh yeah I forgot to mention my “mom” makes me walk to school and back which is so far away and her excuse is I’m taking too much time of her day, she needs to focus on training especially now that she had injured her leg. That’s a lie I didn’t buy she just didn’t want to, I don’t engage with her anymore I’ve learnt to just live it and pretend she’s not even there which is basically a reality, all she does is hangout with her friends and hangout with her new girlfriend, who doesn’t seem to fond of me either.. I wonder what mom said to her about me she gives me dirty looks and acts like this isn’t my house and I don’t belong here…maybe I don’t. Aunt alba is the person I hangout with besides my friends she’s gets me and we always have fun together, sometimes I wish she was my mom instead.

PRESENT DAY!

Uhm so yeah let’s just say my life is a whole lot worse than now, my got married to her girlfriend Olga and she had a baby about 2 years ago, that baby that I hate so much even though its done nothing to me, but its parents make me hate it so much. My suspicions..well it wasn’t really one it was facts just got proven even more my mom genuinely just never liked or loved me. She’s so loved dovey to the baby and is just completely a whole new person with her, she cuddles her almost all the time, as soon as she walks through the door, she doesn’t even greet me (not that I expected her to do so since she never does or has) but runs to find the baby and greets her with hugs and kisses. That’s all I ever wanted as a kid, why was it so difficult for her to do that with me. I was never a bad kid or nagged her, u never even said anything….is that why? She takes Olga and the baby on trips even to other countries why I don’t know its not like the baby will even remember but she does leaving me behind because “I’m being punished” for whatever reason Olga cane up with .Oh yeah I forgot to mention she completely despised me, she’s sees me as an obstacle in their perfect family, apparently I don’t fit in according to her which my agrees, she’s says I’m too cold and mean and not a good influence for her new baby since I “disrespect” since I disrespect my mom so much, she says she doesn’t want that negative energy around them. I don’t know what to do anymore I hate my life, I hate myself and I just want to end it all, I’m so tired of people acting like I’m such a horrible person and acting like something is wrong with me.

I go to the lounge and sit on the sofa to watch a new series I recently started until I hear a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” I said as if someone else would.

“Hola mi amor, you just keep getting more beautiful everything I see you,” says my gran Eli.

“Thanks gran, hey alba!” I screech with excitement, that doesn’t last long as Olga comes in the kitchen to quieten me.

“Stop yelling the baby is sleeping, I just put her down I don’t need you to wake her up. You’re such a nuisance,” Olga says.

I just turn around and walk back to my seat on the sofa when my “mom” appears.

“Hola mami and alba, Como estas?,” she greets.

“Moy bien,” Eli replied

“Lets eat shall we,” Olga says.

We al sit down to eat, I go to it next to aunt alba which is so much nicer, I’ll have someone to talk to during dinner.

“Are you excited for your school play coming up,” aunt alba asks.

“Yeah I actually am surprisingly,” I reply.

“What school play,” mom asks.

“Isabelle's school is hosting a play of Romeo and Juliet, our girl scored the part of Juliet, can you imagine, though shouldn’t you know this since you’re her MOM,?” says gran Eli

“With who’s permission did she get to participate in this?, you don’t even ask anymore you just do things on your own buzz,” says mom

At this point I was furious, firstly I told her this 2 weeks ago and she agreed, she probably wasn’t paying attention, and now she wants to accuse me of just making decisions without asking..really. My whole life I has to make decisions for myself and I had to be put in adult situations from the time I was little because my mother wasn’t interested in helping me with anything, now she wants to come be a mother when I’m so much older, NO I’m not letting this slide anymore, I’m finally excited for something in my life and I won’t let her take that way from me… I push my chair backwards and bang my hands on the table….

TO BE CONTINUED….

#alexia putellas angst #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #fc barcelona #alexia putellas fic #fc femeni #@woso-dreamzzz

[conan-hearts-u]

Snow date !

Summary:Reader x Nahoya (Smiley) fluff, playing in the snow,nahoya gets sick

c/w: Swearing, a bit sugesstive, Reader and Nahoya are married

w/c:570+

A/n: kinda worked hard on this so hope yall like this <3<3 (also its not proof read. might also make a part 2 of this

"Ughh Im so obsessed with your hair Nahoya!!" You played with his hair while he had his head on your lap.

"If you are so obsessed with it wouldnt you like babies with the same hair?" He said looking at you with a dumb smile on his face

"Shut the fuck up!" you shouted pushing him off you and trying to hide your flustered face

"Ok ok i was only joking"he gets up and looks outside the window "Look Y/n!" he pointed towards the window "its not snowing anymore lets go outside"

"No its too cold" You complained while taking out your phone to check the tempeture "Its minus twenty five Celcius outside" you showed your phone to him

"I have been outside in way worse tempetures, c'mon dont be like that lets have fun" He started pulling you by your arm trying to get you of your bed

"Nooo i get cold easily " You whine not moving from your bed

"I'll keep you warm, I promise"

"Whatever" You get up from the bed and started getting dressed in warm clothes

"Nahoya you should actually wear warm clothes i dont want you to get sick"

"Oh so now you care about me?" He chuckled " No need to worry your pretty head over small things like these i wont get sick"

"If you say so" You roll your eyes at him but you cant stop yourself for smilling at his stupidity

When you go outside you feek like you are going to freeze to death. The only thing you could think about is how is he not cold?

"Nahoyaaa! lets make a snow man together" You suggested as you kneeled down and started making a snow ball

"Sure why not " he responded as he sat down next to you in the snow and made a snow ball "Hey y/n!"

Hm?" you turn towards him and he throws a snow ball right at you " WHAT THE FUCK" you scream trying to get the snow of your face

He just looks at you, smiles and starts running away. You started running after him throwing snow balls at him.This goes on for almost and hour just both of you running around and throwing snowballs at eachother untill you both got tired and just layed down in the snow for a bit

"Im cold." he said and started coughing

"Omg what Nahoya love i warned you and all you said was `i wont get sick and now look at yourself like some sick baby" you scolded him as you helped him get up from the snow

"Atleast now you have to take care of me" he stuck out his tongue "im your sick patient"

"Shut up, you are the most annoying person ever when you are sick " Both of you went inside "and you are also most annoying perosn while you are healthy, i guess you are just an annoying person in general " you shrug

"thats mean." he gives you a fake frown and started fake crying

"You are so immature, i cant belive Im married to a teen boy in a adult mans body." you roll your eyes at him and give him a kiss on the cheek

"well you are hopelessly in love with me and that will never change" he pulled you in close and whispered in your ear "So, about what i said earlier~ "

"NO NAHOYA"

Made with love by Conan <3

#tokrev #tokyo revengers x reader #fluff #tokyo revengers fluff #nahoya kawata x reader #smiley x reader

[meowlod]

focalors x fem!reader | a prank that goes a little too far.

warnings: nothing much, just fluff and annoying someone.

One day, you had an idea to annoy someone, and the target was Focalors. You were walking towards the courtroom, walking inside, opening the doors only to see her talking with the chief justice. Perfect!

You run towards the stage, seeing your lovely girlfriend smiling at your sudden appearance. But she doesn‘t know about your pranks, yet.

”Oh? Is my love asking for attention again? What a surprise to see you here. In fact, i was just about to walk home to you.“ Her mismatched blue eyes staring gently at you.

You ignore her words, attention only on her white dress, the center of her dress exposing her neckline, chest and stomach while fastened by a gold and blue metal ornament. You grin as you walk towards her, the Chief Justice staring at you in confusion, but curiousness. Focalors looks back at you curiously. What are you going to do? Kiss her? She thought to herself.

You stand in front of her with a confident face as you‘re right in front of two powerful beings, while you‘re the only weak one, with no powers. You have confidence, atleast.

“..Mon amour, is everything okay? Are you really craving that much for a kiss?—“

Before she could continue speaking out her sentence, you pour cold water all over her dress and her face then gently push her down, making her grunt as she falls down on the slippery ground, getting herself even more messy. She looks at you with a slight angry glaze you‘ve never seen before. ”..I’m sorry that had happened, let me help you up.“ The Chief Justice held out his hand to help her stand up while you are quickly walking down the stage to run away, giggling and laughing quietly to yourself so they won‘t hear it, but they have good ears.

”Stop. And come back here.“

Her voice sends shivers down your spine. It sounds stern and deep. You know you are dead after you heard it.

”..H-haha..u-uhm..I..I have to pee—“ You find a excuse to tell her.

“No excuses. Come here, now.“ she demanded.

You grin nervously back at her, your hands between your legs as a fake sign to show that you have to pee, but she doesn‘t buy your excuse.

Quickly, she teleports behind you and grips your hair firmly to pull you back, making you look right into her eyes. You gulp at the sight of her eyes narrowed, mouth formed into a frown, hair and dress wet from the water you poured all over her earlier, and her other hand turning into a fist.

You quickly shut your eyes, putting your arms infront of you to protect yourself, preparing for it. But you seriously thought that she was going to hit you? Oh, no. She sighs and picks you up, waving and saying one last goodbye to the Chief Justice before walking out of the courtroom, seeing that its dark outside.

“F-foca— what are you g—going to do with me?“ You nervously ask, voice shaky with a little bit of fear in it.

“..Tsk, my love, you‘re getting a punishment. What are you expecting? Did you think i would let you go so easily? Tch, think twice, my dear. Even in front of your Chief Justice? I‘m amazed that you‘re not embarrassed yet.“

A punishment? You get scared yet your face burns up in embarrassment from her words. She smirks at you, knowing that she has you in your arms, meaning that you can‘t escape her now. She sighs and pats your head.

“..Not a rough one, don‘t worry. But don‘t do it again, before i‘ll get my revenge and do the same.“

To the way home, you play with her hair, caressing the fluffy white and blue curls while she carries your body.

”I love your hair. I think i‘m jealous..you‘re sooo hot.“

“I know you are trying to talk your way out of this, missy. Just to tell you: you won‘t.”

You whine at her answer and give up, letting yourelf get punished once you arrive at your destination.

“Now that is my good girl. Going to accept the punishment, yeah?“

#focalors x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader

[goldenempyrean]

sick!reader x yelena with the prompts: “Relax, its just a cold.” and "You know we own tissues for a reason, right?" where nat and wanda invite them over to a game night. reader sneezes and sniffles the whole time. when the girls realize their friend is feverish, they team up to take care of her (I hope you don’t mind doing yelena)

Game Night

〚 Notes - Wow! We’re back to getting to normal requests now, its been a long time! Hopefully you enjoy ;) Also, what are we thinking about this new post layout? Lemme know, I need outside opinions. Btw this fic is totally unedited as well ;) 〛

〚 Summary - You didn’t feel great. That was true. But you’d never admit that, especially not during game night. But what happens when your girlfriend finds out?〛

〚 Wordcount - 1300 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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“Hey guys, come on in!” Wanda smiled as she stood aside to let yourself and Yelena into her apartment.

Atleast once a month, you and your girlfriend Yelena always made time to head over to Natasha and Wanda’s apartment to spend a fun night catching up, watching movies and playing board games. It was a great way to catch up, and it allowed for the four of you to establish a pretty close bond which always came in handy during missions.

Only tonight was a little different, truth be told you didn’t exactly feel great. Your throat was uncomfortably scratchy and there had been that dull ache lingering in your head. If you were being honest, you would’ve preferred to stay home, curl up and try to sleep off whatever bug you’d caught before it hit you in full force but you couldn’t do that to Yelena. While you both loved these get-togethers, it was her who benefited the most. It was a chance for to spend time her sister and there was no way you’d cancel on that.

So you opted to stay silent. Sitting down in the living room, you were greeted by Natasha had who laid out a selection on board games.

“Which one do you wanna play first?” She asked, kissing Wanda’s cheek as she came to sit down beside her.

“I don’t mind.” You said but your voice ended with a rasp, sending you into a small coughing fit, “Sorry! Something just caught on my throat there.” You lied seeing Yelena glance towards you, a worried look behind her eyes.

“Let me get you some water” Nat offered, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze as she stood up, “You lot should pick a game in the meantime.”

By the time Natasha returned with your water, the group had settled on playing Monopoly. Everything was great for the first half an hour, and everything had been going smoothly. That was until the pressure in your sinuses had gotten painful, giving you a rather unpleasant headache which you’d been your best to ignore but Yelena had caught you massaging your temples one too many times.

She waited until both Natasha and Wanda had left the room to grab snacks before turning to you, cupping your cheek as she looked over you, “Are you alright? You’ve been rather quiet today.”

“Im fine ‘Lena.” You tried to assure her, even adding a forced smile for good measure, “Just a little tired, that’s all, don’t worry.”

“Are you-“ She began but stopped seeing that Nat and Wanda had returned with food.

“Everything okay?” Wanda asked as she set down a bag of Doritos onto the coffee table, noticing the slight change in atmosphere.

“Yep, everything’s fine, me and Y/N were just-“

“Hh’tshoo!”

“Bless you.” The room chirped, but you couldn’t help but feel the anxious eyes of Yelena scanning over you once again.

“Im fine.”

“I didn’t say anything.” She smirked.

Over the next few hours, all you could do was sniffle. Nothing seemed to stop the constant running at the back of your nose, not to mention the headache which had felt like it amplified tenfold. But this time it wasn’t just Yelena who’d picked up on it, both Natasha and Wanda had noticed too. But you were desperate to see the night through, you had too.

Thankfully your sniffles seemed to die down for a little bit, well, that was until you’d felt that knowing tingle at the bridge of your nose and whilst you tried to tight against it, there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Eiiishiew! Hh’ttshoo! Hh-hih’iiishiew!”

“Oh goodness, bless you!” Yelena cooed, rubbing her hand down your back as Wanda used her powers to levitate a box of tissues towards you.

“You feeling okay Y/N?” Natasha asked, exchanging uneasy glances with everyone, sharing her sister’s concern.

“Im fine, I swear, it’s probably just-“ You paused to yawn, unable to stop yourself from sniffling damply afterwards, “Im okay.”

The anxious faces of the three women met your own and your shoulders dropped seeing their concern, the concern which only grew seeing you break off into a series of deep chesty-sounding coughs moments later.

“You don’t sound very well.” Wanda said, being the first the voice the collective thoughts of the room.

At Wanda’s statement Yelena reached over and pressed her hand over your forehead, sighing deeply feeling your overly-warm skin, “I think you’re feverish sweetie, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Relax ‘Lena.” You sniffled, running your sleeve beneath your nose, grimacing as the rough texture irritated it, “Its just a cold, I’ll be fine.”

Nat and Wanda gave each other a knowing look and excused themselves from the room, letting the two of you talk privately.

“You know theres tissues here for a reason, right?” She sighed, pressing a bundle into your hand, “You been feeling icky all day?”

Taking the tissues, you blew your nose, before nodding. Not resisting when Yelena sighed again as she pulled you into a hug, “What are we going to do with you, ey? You’ll be okay sweetie.”

“I know but I didn’t want to spoil your night. I know you love it when we get together with Nat and Wanda, its really fun and I didn’t want either of us to miss out.” You sniffled before sneezing down into your tissue bundle, earning yourself a sympathetic noise from Yelena.

“You haven’t spoilt anything, I just hate to think you’ve been sat here not feeling well the whole time. I’d even say we could take you home right now but look.” Yelena paused, turning your attention to the window. Harsh rain had begun to pour from the skies outside, “Its pouring down. And theres no way I want us to walk back home in that weather, not with you already being ill.”

“We might have a solution for that.” Natasha smiled as she re-entered the room, followed closely behind by Wanda who was holding two small bottles.

“We thought maybe you’d both like to stay the night? Especially with the weather taking a turn for the worst outside.” Wanda offered before holding out the two bottles of medicine towards you, “This should help a little bit dear.”

“Thanks Wanda.” You gave her a small smile, setting the bottles next to you.

“I think sleeping over is a great idea though.” Yelena agreed, giving the two women a thankful nod, “Should we take your guest room?”

Natasha pursed her lips, “Actually, we’re currently doing up that room, the beds are in pieces at the moment but Wanda and I already agreed that Y/N should take our bed for the night, sleeping on the sofa isn’t going to help them feel any better.”

“I cant take your bed!” You tried to exclaim however the roughness of your throat caused you to break off into a fit of harsh coughing.

Yelena sighed again whilst cupping your cheek, “You definitely have a fever sweetie.” She affirmed, “You feel warmer then earlier.”

“We should get them to bed then.” Nat added, “You’ll feel better, cmon.”

With that said, Yelena helped you stand and you both followed Natasha and Wanda to their bedroom. Following their instructions as they guided you to lie down in their bed and it really wasn’t long before you were asleep. You really did need it afterall.

“They’ll be okay, they’ve probably just caught some kind of bug.” Natasha whispered to her sister as Wanda laid another blanket over you before coming to side beside her girlfriend.

“Thanks for taking care of them. It means a lot.” Yelena smiled, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead before quietly leaving the room, letting you rest peacefully, “Hopefully they feel better in the morning.”

“Im sure they will.”

#sickfic #snzfic #marvel sickfic #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova #yelena belova x fem!reader #yelena belova x gn!reader #yelena belova x sick!reader #yelena belova sickfic #yelena belova fluff #yelena belova whump #marvel snzfic #marvel whump #mcu #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #WandaNat #avengers sickfic

[r0-boat]

Hot Cold

Cw: dubcon, branding(with cig), facefucking, rough sex, smoking, aggressiveness, bondage, sadism, no aftercare, maybe one little forehead kiss.

Grusha x Male! Reader Commission for @spideroni ~ thank you so much for your support I hope you enjoy

Wc: 1.7k

The air was cold, and not because of a blizzard raging outside. No, it was your pissy boyfriend who recently has been acting strange.

Coming home after work, he had been really short with you. Giving you attitude, whether it was passive or aggressive, or sometimes ignoring you outright. Grusha would rather storm outside and have a cigarette than have a damn conversation with you, and it was getting on your nerves as well. You weren't aware that you were dating a damn child.

You thought just giving him some time to himself would help him cool off, but nothing has changed, and you're growing tired of his attitude toward you.

Grusha idly sat on the couch with his phone. His phone rings, he grumbled even though the weather was deemed too dangerous to go to work. It seemed that he'll never catch a break. Seeing the chairwoman's name, he clenched his teeth but took the call, switching in his native tongue. Whether it was the water running in front of you, or the fact that he was speaking Spanish, you couldn't hear the entire thing when you started the water for the dishes. You hadn't really started tuning in until the phone call was pretty much over. He growled, casting his phone to the side as soon as he ended the call, putting a hand over his face.

He leaned forward on the couch agitated and bounced his leg, his eyes glancing over at the door and the window cursing under his breath as the violent snow storm still raged outside.

You're washing the dishes, and from your peripheral vision, you saw your boyfriend took out a cigarette and lit it.

This was your breaking point.

"Could you not smoke in the house?"

Grusha completely ignores you, rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" You say a little louder.

Grusha clicked his tongue, muttering something under his breath, cigarette still in his mouth.

"Can I please get an explanation on why you've been acting more like an asshole than usual?"

Grusha pinches the bridges of his nose. He could already feel the migraine coming, having just got off the phone with the chairwoman.

"Could you atleast try not to be annoying today of all days?" Your boyfriend hissed. Usually, Grusha was used to handling anything by himself. However, the chairwoman constantly got on his back about his Pokemon battling career and the status of his gym. This slowly ate away his patience.

And that pretty face of yours being so bratty did not help. His patience was a thinning thread, and he was this close to turn your body and all its holes into a stress toy.

Without a word, he gets up from the couch, the cigarettes still between his fingers, making his way to the shared bedroom.

You watched him leave when he finally left the living room. Now deciding to follow him, he made an exasperated sigh, turning off the water and leaving the dishes half done, choosing to follow your boyfriend to the bedroom.

He puts the half-lit cigarette on the ashtray and watches as you practically barge through the door.

"Hey, I wasn't done–" You could have been nicer but in all honesty you weren't really having the best week either.

"If you keep nagging at me like that, I'm going to put your mouth to good use," Grusha growls, his icy blue eyes frozen over with bitterness.

You were taken back by his comment; anger at his witty retort bubbled within you while butterflies fluttered in your stomach. "Doll.. I am not in the mood to talk. I'm giving you one chance - just one - to leave me alone before I fold you over this bed and take out months of bottled-up anger and stress onto your body."

After a couple minutes of silence ignoring the warmth spreading across your face. You sealed your fate. "That doesn't mean you can smoke in the house–"

He grabs you by the collar, pushing you down onto the bed, grabbing a scarf as he climbs on top of you. You grab ahold of his arm, trying to shove his body off you, yet he doesn't budge. You twist and turn, trying to wiggle away from underneath him, all useless. The ex-pro athlete made sure to work hard to keep his form. You were not going to gain the upper hand and you lost the moment you picked a fight.

He secures your hands behind your back with a scarf, flipping you over on your stomach. Your eyes widen hearing the fabric of your clothing being ripped off of you, the man above you chuckled darkly, almost mocking you.

"Oh my, what happened to all that fire before?"

You pulled at the scarf with your arms, trying to unravel the knot with what you could work with. He watches you struggle with a sadistic smile on his face before flipping you on your back.

"It seems that you have forgotten your place," Grusha purrs, placing the cigarette back between his lips, inhaling and blowing smoke into your face. "You don't own me. I own you."

The cigarette bud hovered above your chest, your eyes widened at the burning. Your chest heaved as his hand wrapped around your throat, putting down pressure. You grit your teeth, growling in pain, feeling the sting of the hot cigarette right against your chest. His knee parts your legs, pressing right down on your crotch.

He goes for another puff from his cigarette, his leg rubbing harder against your covered cock. Your breath shakes from the friction. It starts to become addictive, the heat pooling into your loins.

Finally he hears you sing your moans of pain and pleasure. When he presses the hot cigarette onto another spot of your body, this time on your collarbone. It was just barely high enough for you to cover it tomorrow. Your toes curl at the hot pain, your back arching when you put more pressure onto your swelling bulge as soon as he makes contact.

He pulls your pants down, your breath shook, feeling his hand squeeze your balls before immediately colliding it with your soft ass. Taking you by surprise, you bite back a squeal and stifle back further sounds as he begins striking it over and over you. However, leaving your ass red wasn't enough. 

He bit his lip, his cock stirring in his pants when a delicious, devilish thought popped into his mind. He takes another puff of the cigarette, you cry out his name, feeling the hot burning sensation on your ass cheek, this time; he traces the letters of his name right on the flesh, branding you as his property. 

Grusha was satisfied for now, idly leaving the cigarette between two of his fingers, occasionally taking another breath in. Chuckling when his eyes met your pleading ones.

"You were so talkative before. What happened?" He smirked, his hands gliding upon your body as he maneuvers you to face him. Your eyes fell upon his crotch and his fingers diligently worked to take off his belt and pants.

"No matter, I did say I was going to put that mouth to good use, and I am a man of my word." He takes his already-hardening cock out of his pants.

"Mouth. Open," Grusha demanded. You hesitated for a moment, glaring at him at those ice blue eyes flashing with red anger. Putting his thumb on your bottom lip, forcing your mouth open, his fingernails split your lip and forced your jaw open for him.

"I said open slut!"

His cock immediately gets jammed down your throat. His finger is jumbled in your grip, tightening as your mouth engulfs his thick cock. Your senses are overrun by his taste and smell, making your head spin. You tried to take all of him without gagging from the burn in your throat,

You feel every vein roll across your tongue as he makes you swallow all of him, your nose nestling against his drapes. Your cock was straining in your pants, your body pressed deliciously against the mattress. You can't help but slightly rut your hips in rhythm as your boyfriend begins to move, his grip tightening around your locks. He showed no mercy in his pace.

You could swear his eyes lit up when he felt your throat tighten, gagging on his dick.

The mix of pain you felt twisting with pleasure was addictive. You wanted more of the salty taste of his pre-cum on your tongue; the strong scent of your boyfriend's natural scent mixed with his crisp cologne made your brain melt.

"Don't tell me you're actually getting off to me like this?" he smirked. Sliding his cock out of your mouth only to flip you over, he lets out a drawn out groan when your throat bulges from his cock when he slides right back in. You lay there obediently; eyes glazed over with lust. You don't even remember why you were mad at him in the first place. All you can think about is how his balls slap against your face when Grusha face fucked you.

He placed a hand around your neck, wanting to feel his thick cock slide right in there. He wants to feel your throat tightening as you suck every last drop of cum from his tightening balls. He switches to deeper, harder thrusts when he leans forward, wrapping another hand around your cock, rhythmically moving up and down your toes curl, moaning around his shaft. 

Your lover grinds against your face. You want your hands free to touch and caress his body to grab his hips and make him move fuck himself with your throat through his orgasm.

Grusha's, the pleasure becoming too much, eyes flutter. "Your s-so good, with your mouth around me like that I- FUCK!"

He cries out, filling your throat with his seed, watching you eagerly drink every last drop of him. Stilling his hips making sure he gives you every last drop of him. He slides his semi hard cock out of you giving you a moment to breathe. He moves you from the edge of the bed to the pillows. Giving you a kiss on the forehead.

"Sorry about before," he whispers his fingers running through your hair. "You look a little tired so I'll give you a moment to rest but I'm not done with you. I still feel really pent up"

#smut #pokemon grusha x reader #male reader #x male reader #grusha x reader #gym leader grusha #Ro.commission #dubcon #cw branding #Smoking #pokemon scarlet and violet x reader #pokemon grusha #Grusha smut

[muikitoo]

~ Rainy days ~

This was honestly the hardest one for me💔 so im sorry if its horrible

You and Muichiro had went out to finish some errands you had because it seemed fairly sunny and nice outside. You thought nothing could go wrong.

Well too bad bc you thought wrong.

It had started to pour pretty badly and Muichiro went to grab something real quick so he left you for a while, you stood there, trying to keep all your bags in place and uncomfortably waiting in your soaked socks. Your hair is wet, sticking to your face as you try and move them behind your ear.

After what felt like forever, Muichiro finally returned, running up to you to make sure youre okay.

"Hey, are you okay? Im so sorry i left for so long. Youre soaked, here let me help." He said with a concerned tone as he took off his coat and put it around you. A tinge of pink dusted your cheeks from the kind gesture. He took his umbrella and opened held it above your head.

"Oh, wait, let me help with that too." He said as he took some of the many bags in his free hand. "Are you ready to go?" You nodded as u both started to walk home.

The entire way home he couldn't stop thinking about your well being, you seemed pretty soaked and he really didnt want you to get a cold. Even tho he was one drenched now. He felt really guilty for making you wait and he would make sure to make it up to you.

The second you got home he immediately pushed you to go take a hot bath and wrapped you up in atleast 10 thick blankets while mentally cursing at the rain.

I honestly dont really like this one because for some reason im not feeling very creative today😅so im sorry if it sucks

#demon slayer muichiro #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kny fluff #kny muichiro #kny x reader #kny x you #muichiro tokito #muichiro x reader #muichiro x you #kimetsu no yaiba muichiro #kimetsu no yaiba manga #muichiro fluff #demon slayer fluff #fluff

[winterspiderpurrs]

can you write where its post endgame and Peter met Steve and Bucky properly and Peter still has a slight grudge on him when he found out what happened in Siberia but Steve already knew he has a grudge on him and apologize to Peter and Peter also apologizes saying its both of their fault ( Tony and Steve ) and yada yada yada you can add whatever you want at the end since i have class GTG

Steve hesitated outside of door of the dinner. Bucky butted his shoulder against his and when he looked at him he nodded. Gathering up the courage to push open the doors of the dinner. His eyes sweeping through the mostly empty place, one person at the bar, and there he was in the back corner.

When he ran into Spiderman a few weeks back, received a cold shoulder but there was a willingness to meet up. They wouldn't be working together often but wanted to make sure he knew that he could depend on them if needed. Though based on the frown on the young face he probably should of warned him he was going to bring Bucky.

Sliding in the booth first so Bucky could sit on the outside ofnthe booth.

" Thanks for being able to meet up with me."

Peter nods and glances around. Thankfully the dinner isn't crowded course its also 2am but its New York.

" I see you brought backup"

Bucky shifts a little in his seat before flipping pages on the menu that was layed out on the table.

" Yes, sorry about not warning you"

" Don't worry, I brought my own too. Its fair"

Steve blinks and looked over his shoulder. All he saw was a man at the bar sipping a drink, eating pie. Nothing odd stood out to him other then the red glasses he was wearing. Seem to be minding his own business. Papers infront of him. And the older waitress who was currently standing out back of the place smoking with the only cook on duty.

Steve turns back to look at Peter. " Listen son. I know that there is tension between us. And I know its because of Tony.... but you have to know and you can talk to Pepper. We hashed it out during the.... lost years"

Bucky glances up at Steve then and then at Peter.

Peter takes a deep breath.

" I know I've talk to Happy...and I can forgive and understand the situation. But it's not easy. But I can't forgive you hurting him with the shield. Not yet atleast. You haven't earned it."

Steve opens his mouth to say something but Bucky cuts him off.

" I'm sorry to have caused all this... never got the chance to truly apologize for it."

Peter glances between the two before nodding as at Bucky.

" I can't accept your apology"

Bucky glances down at the table, he was used to this part. Could even feel Steve about to get worked up about this. He knew he shouldn't of join, should of just stayed outside.

" We were taught forgiveness as we have free will to do wrong and we need to be able to accept that we need to... repent. But Bucky... I can't accept your apology not because I don't want to... its because there is nothing to forgive..."

Peter sighs and looks down at his now empty mug.

" Hydra took your will away. The Winter Soldier is the one who committed those crimes... not you Bucky."

Bucky stares over at Peter, his eyes stinging a little.

" But I forgive the winter soldier too... he didn't know what he was doing... even if you remember everything... every horrible thing... he wasn't you and he didn't have free will either..."

" You have Nothing to be sorry for..."

Peter scoots over the seat of the booth to get out of it to stand. He tosses a couple dollar bills on the table top.

" I'll call if I need help... and you know how to reach me if you need me." He hesitated for a moment " Queens has a good synagogue if you need to escape a bit Bucky. I go atleast once a month...." and with that he walks out.

And Steve and Bucky sit there in silence for a while before they, too, got up to leave. So lost in their thoughts, they never noticed the man at the bar pull out a white blind stick after he packed up his paperwork and left in the opposite direction.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask! #asks #winterspiderpurrs

[hoshi-y]

Hihi idk if your taking requests atm- but I have a request for when u open them <3

Can I request a Depressed Tsukasa X reader? Or just a Tsukasa with mental health thats not so great?

It doesn’t even have to be a x reader it can just be Tsukasa with bad MH hcs- I just see so much depressed Y/N and i’m a sucker for

reverse roles. i just wanna see how people would think he would handle it and who he would tell about it

It sounds so emo sorry— 😭😭 hope you can do it! <3 I love your writing!

Always Here

Genre : Fluff

Characters : Yugi Tsukasa

TW : None

A/N : IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE LOVE MY BAD WRITINGS TYTY AND OF COURSE

I have never seen a very depressed Tsukasa before so this is new, Love the idea cause again its always the reader who is depressed

MMMM I'll do both HC and a oneshot hehez 💗

I hope you enjoy 💗

I'm so lost..

You know it, I just feel like Tsukasa would always lock himself up in his room

He'll have a sudden change in mood rarely showing his cheerful persona

He'd refuse to talk to someone about it and say he'll be fine all the time

Believe it or not he'd reject his own brothers reqiest to hang out or to come play with him

That's how bad ours babys mental health declined :(

I feel like the reason he'd be like this is because of school

the junk education system of japan has it going for him

to the point he'd cage himself in his room

Not alot of people like him too

they think his loud and cheerful energy is annoying

he'd end up hearing things they would say

but this time, just hearing them talk shit about him made him snap

If it means giving whatever the world wants just to see Tsukasa's smile and hear his laugh again

You'd do it.

You notice how much his health declined the past few weeks and it worried you, he'd lock himself up in his room, refuse to eat, and sometimes doesn't answer your texts or calls.

You marched down to his house, you thought it was him who opened the door cause you saw a glimpse of black choppt hair by the window but turned put to be his brother

"Hey [F/N], if you're here for Tsukasa again... He won't open the door" He scratched his head as he looked up stairs at Tsukasa's locked door, You frowned "Come on.. Don't your parents or you have any keys to open that door?"

"If we try he'd lock it again before we could even go in.. But I'll let you have a shot at it" Amane handed you Tsukasa's room keys, you took off your shoes and jogged up to his room

"Tsu?" You knocked at his door but was met with silence "Tsu.. You can't keep shutting yourself in like this.."

Amane knocked on the door aswell "Tsukasa, come on [F/N] came all the way here even though it's snowing like crazy outside... Mom and Dad are worried too.. And.. I-im worried aswell.."

Silence

"Tsu I'm gonna come in, if you try and block the door Im5gonna give you an earful" You joked, hoping you could atleast here a chuckle or a little giggle from him, but nothing.

You inserted the key and twisted the knob unlocking his door, no sign of him getting up and locking the door

"I'll give you two some alone time, I'll be in my room if you need me to drag him out" Amane jpked which you playfully punched his shoulder, after Amane went to his room you made your way inside his room

It was dark, and cold. With the light source coming from the corridor you saw the love of your life laying on his bed curled up under his blanket, his room was a bit messy, A tray of food on his desk, it looked like he didn't even touch nor moved it.

You didn't wanna alarm him by turning on his lights. You closed his door and sat down on his bed and turned on his bedside lamp

"Tsu.. I'm here.." Your voice cracking a little. Ypu hated seeing him like this, You felt him move a little as he slowly took off the blanket off his face

"[F/N]?..."

You were holding back your tears at this point

"H-hey Tsu.. I came by to see you.." Tsukasa went silent for awhile, but climbed into your warm arms, you ran your fingers thru his messy hair as you softly picked his face with both hands to see him

His eyes were puffy, he had eyebags and just looked so broken inside

"Oh Tsu.." You kissed his forehead "You could've came to me to talk about your problems.. I'm always here for you.. Now tell me who has been disturbing you and I'll drag them to Teru"

Ah, using your scary Secretary privilege I see

Tsukasa layed his haid down on your shoulder as he shook his head, you hugged him tight. You didn't wanna force him to tell you what has been bothering him, You know he'll tell you when the time was right.

Tsukasa just needed your comfort and you being by his side until he is ready to tell his problems.

° ° ° °

"I-i'm.." Tsukasa spoke, his voice raspy

You hummed as you waited patiently for him to talk

"I'm sorry.. I shut you and everyone like this.." He hugged you tighter and tried not to cry, but he ended up sobbing in your arms

He tried to talk but he was pouring out into your arms as you hugged him tighter

"Its okay Tsu.. Take your time.. I'll be here, I won't leave your side" You rubbed his back for comfort to let him know that you're there

After he stopped crying, he told you everything, from academics, school, and fake friends. That have stabbed him multiple times in the back, You stayed. You silently listened to his problems, pouring out everything that has been bothering him

"Tsu.. You were very strong, and I know you are.. having to deal with everything and keeping it to yourself like this as you kept a smile on.. I'm proud of you for not giving up.. If you ever need anyone to talk to or have someone to listen to ypur problems, I'm always here, Okay?.." You kissed his forehead as you wiped his tears

"Now, where's my happy Tsukasa at? I miss him.." You giggled as Tsukasa gave you that smile, that genuine smile that captured your heart.

He rested his forehead on yours as he held your hands tightly "I love you so much.. I didn't know what I did to ever deserve someone like you.." Tsukasa inched closer as he kissed your soft lips, you closed your eyes as you returned the kiss. The once cold atmosphere turned into something warm to melt this snow storm away.

Tsukasa pulled away as his eyes held love and adoration "I love you, [F/N].. So much.."

"I love you too, Tsukasa.. Too much I think its not gonna fit in a huge tank" He chuckled "You must be hungry my dear.. Lets go make you something warm to eat hm?"

"I'd love that.." You got up from his bed as followed, You two went downstairs and made some yummy chicken soup together

My very very bad grammar is suffocating

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #tbhk x reader #jshk #tbhk #tsukasa yugi #yugi tsukasa #tbhk tsukasa #jshk tsukasa #tsukasa x reader

[f4irycafe]

I just looked at your masterlist and saw acotar, so I was wondering which court would you wanna be lady/high lady of and why?

this was the wrong question to ask me anon cause i could write an entire dissertation on this and y’all are abt to read it hehe hehe. please request more stuff like this i love this ask omg. i could talk abt this series for ages.

MY TOP 3 COURTS ARE UNDERNEATH THE CUT!

1. spring court

lol bet u didn’t think that would be on there. but high lord aside, spring and autumn have always been my two favorite seasons. i loved them because they were “transitions” not too cold like the winter, and not deathly hot like summer. watching flowers bloom, seeing all the animals come back out of hiding, watching my city like come alive again, everything about spring has always just has such sweet memories for me.

now if we wanna talk about tamlin i like the guy, or atleast i love the fanon version of him i’ve created in my head. whenever i imagine settling down with tamlin it’s always a couple decades after what happened in acomaf. boy has healed, and his court is flourishing, he has friends, newfound family, he’s thriving okay. i also feel like our personalities would go great together, he can be a little shit sometimes and i appreciate that cause i’m a little shit, always. for some reason i also feel like the people of spring have a very rich and deep culture, and i would love to know more about it.

i want to live and spring and dance thru the flowers at night with the fairies and then get drunk with my husband on top of a hill that overlooks out court and i feel like tamlin could 100% give that to me <3

2. summer

my second favorite seasonnnn + tarquin in the best high lord. politically and economically, tarquin checks ALL of my boxes. working towards democracy? love it. wants to ABOLISH THE CLASS SYSTEM? HELLOOOOOO that's husband material right there. i feel like he's the most genuine and caring out of all the high lords, and that really shows in how he rules his court. plus he is absolutely gorgeous...and black. so yes, he is quite possibly everything you could ask for in a husband.

i was born in the beginning of summer so i also probably have a personal connection to wanting to rule over summer w tarquin. i've always loved the beauty of the sea, and admired people who go out there every day for fishing and exploration and manage to come back alive. but i flourish in the summer. always happy, always outside doing something, even if its just reading on the front porch all day or doing stupid little sidewalk drawings with my friends. i do feel like tarquin would be a little bit too kind hearted to handle my sass, and that's where my third and most controversial option is.

overall, summer will always hold such a sweet place in my heart.

3. autumn dun dun unnnnnn

hehe i love eris. have always loved eris, will always love eris and there is next to nothing you could say to me to make me believe he is a bad person. he just. wow. everything about him is wow. this is def more a person based preference rather than a court/seasonal one. an eternal autumb doesn't sound AMAZINg, but where i'm from irl we never really get the whole red leaves thing in the fall, so i feel like it would be amazing to experience that in autumn. i def love the big meanie on the outside but soft for me trope. like i said in tamlins, i can be a little shit. like SHITTT sometimes. and i feel like eris matches my personality even more than tamlins. we both put on masks while were around other people, and while mine is a lot more enthusiastic, kind, and extroverted than eris' it would be nice to have someone to take it off around.

i feel like afte eris settles into being high lord he chooses very carefully who he wants close to him. he makes sure they all have good values and care about the people they were tasked to rule over. he creates a family of brothers for himself because his real one is so shitty. i feel like all the people he appoints would be strangers at first, but grow to have a bond thicker than blood. eris would be a great high lord and would want to protect his people more than anything, ALL of his people, not just ones who live in a stupid little secret city (cough cough rhysand).

my love. i feel like he would be the best husband. humor me, love me, do stupid devious shit with me. it would be really fun.

elles ramblings: LOl if you managed to read through that whole thing thank u i really appreciate it. and please please pLEASE don't be afraid to ask me other questions like this :)

#tamlin #eris vanserra #rhysand #rhys #tarquin #acotar #acotar x reader #acotar fluff #tamlin x reader #tarquin x reader #a court of thorns and roses #eris vanserra x reader #tamlin cafe <3 #tarquin cafe <3 #eris cafe <3 #f4irycafeblurbs📇

[insecxreasalwqys]

a pooh bear’s love

This was per @a-simp-20​ ‘s request :) its a yuzuru hanyu x fem! Reader. This will probably suck, bc i dont read or necessarily like x readers in general. There are definitely writers who can write good x readers, but im not one of them. I dont write romance in general, so bear with me, please :).

The press conference left you perhaps a little bummed, but atleast you could watch his shows in the future! As you saw him, you decided to walk up to him.  (This will probably be the worst written part out of all of this, so proceed with caution, lmao. I also dont know how people even ask for autographs, so.)

“Excuse me?” You said. Yuzuru stopped walking, and turned towards you. “Hm?” “Ah, not to bother you, or anything, but could you sign this?” You asked, holding out your pooh-bear. He nodded once, and you handed your bear and pen over.  “Whats your name?” Yuzuru asked, writing a little note. “(Whatever your pretty name is, idk.)” You answered. Hanyu smiled and handed the bear back to you. “Thank you.” You smiled back. As you turned around, you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned back around, and saw that it was yuzuru. “I was wondering, if you wanted to meet up at, perhaps, the mall nearby? Its fine if you dont want to.” He asked. You smiled a bit, but was in a little disbelief. You agreed. He told you where it was, again, to avoid confusion. After a while, you guys settled for 3 tomorrow.  “Thanks, again.” You said, before leaving. 

You woke up, with a small strip of light next to you. You yawned, before getting up. You smiled a bit, and continued on with the morning in a good mood.  You made sure to drive carefully today, not that you didnt everyday, but, you get the point, okay? It was nice outside, not too hot, yet not too cold.  When you got there, you didnt see yuzuru. You remembered that he hadnt told you where to go. You sighed, before starting to look around.  Yuzurus pov bc yes

 How is one late when they were the one offering to meet up? I thought to myself. It was 3:05. I entered the building, only to realize I hadn’t told her where to meet. I buried my face in my hands, before going to the nearest store.  Not in his pov anymore? Your pov? Idk what to call it.  You still hadn’t found him. You had already been in 2 other stores, probably looking like a maniac to other people. You saw another store close to you, so you entered it.

You were going through the sections of the store. “Nope, no Yuzu.” You mumbled under your breath. Before turning around, only for something to catch your eye.  yuzus pov 

Now, where would she be? I wondered. I might as well just go into a store randomly. Why not? I walked in. “Hi, welcome to (whatever idk you choose)” A worker said. I nodded with a smile, before looking around the store.  I had been looking for a few minutes, before I saw the colors red and yellow. I turned to look. Awh. I saw you grabbing a pooh bear. “Were you hiding there, or something?” I said.  your pov. Ig.  You jumped a bit, before seeing that it was Yuzuru. You let out a laugh, before getting up. “Where were you?” You asked. “It was traffic.” Yuzuru replied. “Ah. Okay.” You said. 

AhEm. Never. Again. Better for you and me both, love. I took 5 decades to finish this. Started on july 19 ended on august 7 :). I have never heard of procrastination in my life. I never once got stuck on this fic and just wrote 😍 ykyk bc im an amazing writer. Right? No, but you have yourself a good day. Or atleast try your best to after reading whatever this thing was. Love ya

                    -insecure (or gabby ig)

#yuzuru hanyu #hanyu yuzuru #yuzuru hanyu retirement #yuzuru x reader

[paenseo]

@oraclememehacker said: “The snow is so pretty when its freshly fallen. Shame it gets ruined by the time everyone’s trodden in it.”

WINTER / SEASONAL STARTERS. ( still accepting ! )

The entirety of Tokyo awoke to a pleasant surprise ; a carpet of white stretched out across the landscape. Even though weather channels had previously reported snowfall to happen during the night, it was still a pleasant surprise to wake up to such a view — atleast to Ann it was. It was one of the things she loved about winter ; despite the cold, she loved the snow.

Taking a seat in the more than familiar booth in Leblanc, she'd remove her coat and rub hands together in an attempt to warm them up after having braved the freezing temperatures outside. “ Ugh, it's way too cold. ”

Regardless of the cold, their little group of friend ( and Phantom Thieves ) had gathered together in Leblanc — not to discuss anything Metaverse or palace related, but rather just to simply be together. Chatting and laughing together ; be it the entire group together, or simply two of them whom were chatting amongst themselves. Either way, it was something Ann, and she was certain the other did too, enjoyed.

“The snow is so pretty when its freshly fallen. Shame it gets ruined by the time everyone’s trodden in it.” Futaba's sudden words caught Ann's attention. “ Yeah.. tell me about it. ” Futaba's statement wasn't one she disagreed with ; it was always a damn shame to see the beautiful winter carpet be ruined by footprints and tire tracks ; only leaving behind a mess of dirtied ice.

“ Hey, why don't we go to Inoshira Park ? Pathways aside, the snow will be pretty much undisturbed. I'm sure you'll enjoy the view there. ”

#oraclememehacker #ask tag. #✧ *ﾟ‘ﾟ･ 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 ! ( main. ) #[ ann vc : it's not a suggestion futaba #thank you for the ask !! i loved writing this !! #ann's going to show the beauty of winter to futaba uwu ]

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello, can i participate your match-ups event? i would like a twisted wonderland matchup please? also congrats to your 100+ (i guess you have 200+?) followers too! 🎉🎉🎉

I'm actually a female btw.

Appearance: I have a black short hair, Brown eyes, fair light skin, my height is 5'7", im quite chubby a bit..my clothing style is like gurenge the way i wear is boyish type with a dark color, sometimes i wear a bit girls clothes and cute clothes (kinda like soft girl aesthetic) if i want to and i wore a glasses, i used it sometimes if i can't see a far.

Personality (+about me):

-Im a (akward) quiet and shy person who have a stoic face, im very bad communicating/interacting with people cuz i have a bad anxiety issues but atleast i try/want to talk people if i want to (but not a lot, its getting tiring when talking to people). -People didn't really know that im a bit  softie person and playful when it comes to my loved ones or friends, i dont easily open up to anyone with my behavior.  -I have a short or maybe quick temper i can pissed so easily and is trying my best to control myself but mostly hard dealing my emotions, if i hurt people's feelings i'll apologise immediately if im calm.  -My friends commented me like im sort of mother/sister figure in our group, the way i act i didn't quite realized my behaviour the way i treat my friends or my little cousins. -Im very insecure person, i been compared with someone who is smart, pretty or etc than i am because i wasnt one of them, it makes me think i wasn't enough. -The way i act is boyish, but im bit act like a girl like im very shy, embarrased or flustered compare to the girls who acts girly. -people was wondering why always stay inside in my room, all i do is study, watching anime, reading manga/fanfics, playing video games with my younger cousin and sleep, but i sometimes go outside when i wanted to buy or walk around. -when it comes to my friends or family, i give them a headpat or hugs, but if i had a s/o, i will give them lot some hugs & kisses, i secretly kinda clingy or likes giving some affections but doesnt want to admit.

MBTI: INFP

Zodiac: Aries

Hobbies: Drawing (digital & traditional), Reading, Playing piano, gaming, babysitting, do martial arts and listening music

Likes: going to quiet place, sweets,(not a lot) , cold drinks, cute things or stuff, bunnies, watching anime & reading manga.

Dislikes: noisy/loud people, spiders or maybe bugs, math

My Love Language is:

Physical Touch: I like hugs/cuddles and kisses this is they way im showing my comfort or affection but im very shy when it comes show or expressed my affections to my s/o, but im very careful that i wont be extra clingy to them so i have to asked them first before showing it.

Quality Time: If i have a free time, i would like to spend time with my s/o, but i'll let them choose they want or plans for spending time with them.

Words of Affirmation: I maybe not good at talking, but i love and try my best give my s/o some compliment, praises and comforting words.

When it comes the partner: I kinda like when my s/o who have same hobbies like me, i would rambled them my likings, also who also very honest and loyal to me, if my s/o is had problems or insecurities i will give them so many hugs, head pats and kisses. lastly, who have patience and accept for who i am.

Fun fact about me: + I maybe wore stoic expression cuz im not that a smiley type but i smile and laugh sometimes but my friends know my weakness which is tickling me this fails me to laugh, they even try to picture me.

+ Im a soft person who loves cute things like wearing cute clothes, plushies, or etc, and i adore cute animals. i hate to get caught if someone knows about my weird habit of mine i might ended up teasing.

Thank you and  i apologise if this is kinda long, also again congrats! have a nice day/night! ✨

Hi, thank you! Yes it’s technically much more than 100+ (I need to do something to celebrate 300 but I’m already close to 400 so idk what to do 😭), but more importantly, your matchup! I think that there’s a lot of characters that could work with you, but the one that would be the best is…

Idia

Hey look, your pfp! No but seriously, you guys match so much in vibes it’s so cute!

He’s someone that would prefer someone who understands his nerdiness and who can relate with him so he completely understands you. He’s into anime and manga, so you guys could recommend each other different series to watch or read! I can imagine you guys talking for hours on your favorite shows, or maybe taking forever on anime streaming catalogs to see what to watch next. He also really likes listening to music, so sometimes you guys just vibe next to each other while one of your playlists are playing. He’s always wanted to draw, maybe make his own comic one day, and he admires your skill in drawing so much. Please draw him one day, he’ll absolutely melt! You guys would absolutely love playing video games together. I can see you guys gaming until sunrise sometimes haha.

He’s not the best at doing pda, but he’s probably more clingy than he seems. He’s like you in being shy at first to initiate any kind of physical touch, but once he gets more comfortable around you, he won’t worry about cuddling with you. He’s not going to do any kind of pda, but when you guys are in private he’s totally cool with it (he might want it too honestly).

Speaking of physical touch, give him headpats! He’s been through so much (*cough* chapter 6 *cough*) and he’ll just melt if you give him any kind of soft attention. He’s probably a softie at heart like you are, so you guys match wavelengths so well.

Idia would love to spend as much free time with you as possible, even if that means you guys just hang around in his room or your room. Please just text him if you want to hang out since he’s more than willing to spend time with you. Ortho might ask you if he can join just because, and honestly all three of you might have a vibe going. Also Ortho’s adorable and he loves seeing you guys together so much (probably starts calling you “sis” too).

He will never judge you for what you like, your strengths or weaknesses, or anything else. He loves you for who you are, loves you for being an artist, a plushy lover, and a gamer like him. Know that he’s always going to be by your side and there for you.

Overall you guys match vibes so well, and he just loves being with you so much he could probably cry 😭

#twst x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst scenarios #ask box #twst matchup #twst idia #twst idia shroud #twst idia x reader #idia shroud #idia #idia headcanons #idia x y/n #twst ignihyde #ignihyde x reader

[letthylightshine]

What has my day been like?

Good Afternoon, friends! I am going to let you all know what my day has been like. First of all, my sleep was sweet but my schedule was completely off. The weather has been affecting my sinuses so bad. My nose has been running and stopped up for almost a week now. Its contradicting because the weather in the past two days have been in the 60's. Why is it so cold in my house? I have been making arrangements to keep it warm. I've got my spaceheater going in addition to the AC Heat.

So, I am a FT Wife to Carlos Ramirez. My days consist of cooking for him and I, cleaning the house, organizing anything I can get my hands on, sleeping & napping, studying Spanish, reading my bible, praying, personal hygiene, and now blogging and social media. All these things together are like a Full-Time job. And now I am looking for a job because I am desiring an increase in my living standards. Hopefully, I can get a job that is for me and I will be able to simplify some things for Carlos and I. Carlos and I are both independent people. If we can do it ourselves, we will do it. And that even narrows it down to fixing our own vehicles because Carlos is Mechanic.

However, in the past few years I have been quite fascinated by the: "Hi, we are calling you about your cars extended auto warranty!" phone calls because who would have know that car warranties came with such convenience. I'll have to tell you all about it later. Let's get into my day!

"You may not believe, but you will see my power." - Jesus

This morning, my day began at about 7:00AM. I woke up to achy, stuffy nose because of the sudden weather change within the past two weeks. Fall seems to be transitioning out and Winter is transitioning in. In my most recent 5 years, I decided: "I like winter because its not so bad on the body. Plus, I can dress cute with my winter clothes - layers, scarves, boots, flannel button downs." Do you get the jist ?" I am going to have to see how this winter is going to be. As I stated, the past two days have been in the mid-60's, which is good, but its still quite cold for me. My husband, Carlos, is from Mexico. He's told me how, in Mexico, they don't experience a Winter Season. Atleast, not where he lives in VeraCruz. I'd much rather live in Veracruz at this point, but he's enjoying the stability he's gained in Estabas Unidos. So, I don't rush it but I have said: "I'd like me a Mexico Original home in the suburbs of Mexico or atleast on some nice land." With the curvy brick- style shingles. Yes!

Carlos is funny and he loves to tell jokes here and there but last night got me! He said, "You're working on the roof with me tomorrow?" Half serious/Half joking I said, "Yes!" very seriously. Meanwhile, I said: "Yes!" at maybe 8pm in the night. I have not really been out of the house, especially in the morning time, in a long while. Plus, its "cold outside." I believe I answered too soon. I woke up about 7AM and I was like : "Yes! New day. (I was sleeping on the love seat in our bedroom. I had fell asleep there after my shower.) Now, it's time to get in bed and have the real sleep." Moments later, Carlos' alarm goes off at 7:30 AM.

He's like: "Mi Reyna, despierta! Wake up! We are working on the roof this morning! Let's get ready!" I am like: "Oh no, I was just playing when I said yes." So, I layed back down. Carlos began getting ready. Friends, my nose was stopped up, sinuses congested, throat mildly sore - Can we say it may have been the end of the world considering the circumstances! Carlos has to basically peel me out of the bed like you use a spatula to scramble eggs when you forgot to put a little oil or butter on the skillet! Mama wasn't ready!

So, I got up! I was upset! But, I got up, brushed my teeth, put on clothes, and we were out the door. We had to go to Collierville for his work today! Carlos work sites vary from Arlington, Cordova, maybe Memphis, Millington, Covington, or Southaven - all in Memphis and surrounding areas. Today we went to Collierville. These houses are nice and beautiful too. They are brand new houses - some are for sale and others are still new construction or under construction.

This Morning began to be a beautiful day after I finally got up! We drove towards Collierville and I started having faint memories of my days when I used to be in Collierville and East Memphis with my friends. It was sweet memories and maybe I also teared up but it was nothing compared to the NOW. We stopped at the corner store for gas. Carlos offered to purchase me something from the store. Carlos is so kind, caring, and nurturing. He's awesome. I love him! I ordered me a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit with a V8 Vegetable Drink. Talk about good! It was delicious! The biscuit was perfectly soft, flaky, and mouthwatering. I tore that biscuit up! Carlos got more coffee, LOL. He'd just had coffee at home, but I guess, "When you gotta go, ya gotta go!"

We arrived at his worksite. I began to become a little nervous because I had not worked with Carlos in a while. Especially moving those heavy shingles, as he asks me to assist him with. And thats exactky what he needed me to do. I have been meditating on the verse that says: "Do not be greedy for money and appreciate what you have." I have been appreciating God blessing me to be a Stay-At-Home wife. So, Carlos asking or making me come to work with him this morning really put me a little on edge and out of my normal routine. I said NO to helping with the shingles today. It's as though the Holy Spirit said, "Carlos should have called his boss and requested emergency back-up since he was the only person working. I did not sign you up for this and you're allowed to say no." So, I said no. I felt a little bad for my honey but alls fair in love! He accepted my NO and got to work. So, I decided to pray for us so that we can have a good day with our great expectation. After praying, the Sun came out and I swore I could see the Father's face. It was well with my soul.

Then, I'd remembered that I'd been having knee pains. The neighborhood was a pretty good size to walk around, even offering a walking trail. Do you know what I did? Got to walking!

Listen to a favorite of mine:

Yes, you all - I began walking this really bad knee pain off. I did not understand where it came from but I did realize I have not been exercising as much since it got colder outside. This was perfect timing to begin building my motivation to walk in my own neighborhood. As I began to walk, the pain slowly but surely began to go away. I am going to keep on walking until the pain is no more. I am going to have to manage it throughout the winter. I have to get back motivated to exercise all together.

Once I had enough walking, I rested in our van, took a nap, and woke up to Carlos asking for more assistance with those heavy shingles. This time, I said: "Yes, my love!" You all, I could only do so much. Then, it began sprinkling! "Yes!" I shouted in my mind because I did not need Carlos to get frustrated thinking that I did not want to help. Neither did I want the Lord to think the same. So, I prayed like Elijah that it would not rain, LOL. My prayer was: "Lord, please don't let it rain today. And don't let it rain for 3 years. And keep hydrating the Earth and its inhabitants. Amen." I had to show that my faith is strong and unfaltering. Then, it began to rain harder! Ha, sometimes you gotta be happy and joyful even when you don't get what you've asked for. Its possible with gratitude!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to share the story of Elijah and the Prayer Of Rain:

Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit (James 5:17-18).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It began to rain even harder. I got so happy and I am sure Carlos did too because then we could go home and spend some quality time with one another, which is rare in the afternoon time of most days. Carlos usualy gets home after the sun has gone down. So, we packed up all the tools - nails, ladders, nail guns, and more. Then, we headed home. Our day was adventurous because we received what we did not expect - but the flowers need the rain, so it was good. And we need the rain to replenish the harvest. Take a good look at the fields, the harvest is ready!

We got home, cooked dinner, and I am now relaxing and concluding my day! It was short but sweet. Carlos is outside looking at my vehicle. Its been a tiring day so relaxation is needed.

Thank you very much for reading! Until next time....<3

#bible verses #jesus #jesus christ #jesus is coming #jesus of nazareth #Youtube

[protegetapaix]

19/9 09:16am

dear diary,i am back after long months of longevity of happiness that recently shattered. Another hurt another chapter of hurt am i right ? But this hurt,is different,my heart feels weak i am torned to the core.

As you wouldve known i fell in love with a man name Amsyar,he was my highschool lover well atleast for a good 5 months and years later our paths crossed again. I didn’t regret every second of it.

One regret

Everything was well throughout our chapter of love,we fought we loved we hurt we did everything together at the end of the day when there was no more fight in us,our love sat us there,we had to give in so much sacrifice so much,energy,hurt,everything you name it. Willingly,it worked out well.

I fell into the deepest darkest cave; more like a hole i can’t crawl out from, in my life. And the past few months or you can say the last few months of our love,i was selfish.

I regretted my selfishness.

He helped me even when i said i could not be help,he helped me in every possible way. I was dealing with miscarriage,grieving,mentally drained and i just couldnt anymore. Through the last two months all it was about was me and me and me. 70% of me 30% of him. I did not take his words into heart,infact i can’t. My mind was a messed,i was figuring everything and processing everything at once. I swear to god i couldn’t take anything in anymore and my mind was so dark and cold and i was so scared. I don’t blame him,i just wish there was a little fight in me to let him in,let me caress him lighting a fire in my heart and wake me up. i couldn’t. I was fighting with myself everyday,and i couldn’t. but now i beg him for a little fight in him,which he will no longer be giving and i redha.

Until one day i lost him. He didn’t wanted to sit down and try all over again,he didn’t had anymore fight in me. In all honesty i didn’t too,but what moved me was how much i wanted to love this man for another eternity.

When we first met god our days were full of laughters,and maybe a little fight when he called me by his ex name hahahaha. Jokes aside. Meeting every two to three days became everyday,we would always find reasons to still see each other up till now like me asking him to sneak out to eat mac breakfast with me.At first i was scared of getting to attached,but this man gave me warmth that makes me want to be attached with him all the time. He is still my warmth up till this day,but through those cold months i couldn’t give my all,i couldn’t show him anything. I regret.

Soon enough i started my intern,we still met everyday be it after hes done with work we meet outside nenek’s place or after my intern we would go get yummy food. No wonder i gained so much weight. He was there when whats left of my family fell apart,and during fhose times all i needed and had was him,i fell deeper i knew he was going to be my end game i knew things were going far. A month or two later,i was nervous. All i wanted to be one day in life was a mother and i become one. We checked at a carpark and the other time we checked before devouring our pizzas hahahaha. And both time,god we were overjoyed,nervous and everything but one thing he didnt make me feel was scared. I felt so secured.

In the end,he lost himself,he lost his ways. I still felt loved,so much love like i did since the start,and he just needed me to push him further to get to who he was or even better. But i was not there. I was burried in my own dark cold cave;hole and i didnt see any light through it. It was so dark i lost myself and i was so scared. But i still had love to give,i still wanted to be loved because this pure form of love is somethings else. But now its not something else to him. Even in the caves of darknest,i still wanted to work things out. I understand we are different,we have different fight. I wish i gave the same fragility,more love and gave a little more light in the midst of my darknest,but i couldn’t fight it off.

I can’t put into words what ive felt throughout those months,i really can’t. If i could i would,so i can live in those moments put into words,all over again. But that would just hurt. So much than how it is already hurting

Now i have to let go one of the most purest form of love i have ever received and given.

And with that,i am letting everything go from here. Till then,goodbye my diary,maybe the next chapter would be my endgame,maybe the next chapter i would be hitched and would be telling you how im already planning my wedding but that would skip the part where i fall in love all over again,are you sick of that yet huh ? maybe the next chapter would be me on a ship sailing through the seas as a marine offshore engineer.

Maybe the next chapter i wont even be here.

I wont say fi hifzillah fi amanillah

But i am letting go.

Wakafa billahi syahida ana uhibukka fillah Amirul Amsyar <3