#kino fluff

[jinkoh]

boy, you're heaven

kino/hyunggu x gn reader

summary: getting into a friends with benefits arrangement with the guy you'd been crushing on for ages doesn't seem like the best idea—but Hyunggu is just too good to resist.

word count: ~21k

Tags: fwb to lovers, very suggestive scenes, hurt/comfort, slow burn, hint of a love triangle but not really, jealous &possessive Hyunggu but all in healthy amounts Warnings: alcohol consumption i avoided descriptions of physical attributes but reader wears his clothes in between (it's not stated how the clothes fit and whether they are oversized or not)

a/n: this started as a small little songfic for my most favorite friend @ bananayanan and then it accidentally consumed my whole being. the song is heaven by shygirl btw i hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

You'd known Hyunggu for quite a while already. He'd been part of your circle of friends for years and your little crush on him had persisted just as long.

You knew it was nothing that would come to fruition—after all, Hyunggu wasn't someone who did relationships, not really, not seriously.

You on the other hand weren't someone who did casual. You didn't want anything that was just physical or out of convenience.

Consequently, falling for Hyunggu was the most pointless thing you'd ever done. But it wasn't like you could control your feelings and stop liking him just because you knew it was pointless.

So, you stayed by his side as a friend.

Maybe it was better that way. He treated his friends well, he was caring and empathetic—a side of him you doubted his one night stands and hookups saw a lot of when he dropped them like hot potatoes the moment they got too attached.

You were lucky, right? To be able to be close to your crush and keep a positive relationship

—or so you tried telling yourself. But honestly whenever he had someone new, even if it was just for a night, you couldn't stop yourself from getting jealous.

Except for your best friend no one really knew about your crush. It was clear that she pitied you or at least hoped for you to move on. She'd been watching this pathetic longing for years now and decided you finally deserved some happiness of your own.

She told you just that, when she convinced you to go to the party of the friend of a friend.

"You know,  you have to mingle with people a bit, meet new faces and all that."

By new faces she mostly meant one new face in specific. She'd recently met some guy over a shared lecture and she swore the two of you would be a perfect match.

"He likes cooking like you do and he has the same taste in movies too!!"

You honestly doubted that anything would change but you wanted to move on as much as she wanted you to so you agreed to meet him either way.

You got all dressed up (not without your friend's meddling, who assured you you were looking really hot after she was done with you) and went to that party.

"So, who is it?" you asked, looking around the flat full of people ranging from almost sober to very drunk.

"I don't think he's here yet. Let's get drinks first?"

The two of you got yourselves some drinks, played some games and talked with random people your friend knew but you didn't. Honestly it wasn't too bad of an evening. Maybe it was the alcohol making you loosen up a little and feel less awkward around strangers, but you had a good time, pretty much forgetting about both Hyunggu and the guy your friend wanted to set you up with.

Eventually your friend's phone screen lit up with a call and she went outside to get it. In the meantime you went to get yourself a refill from the kitchen.

At this point the kitchen was plenty messy, open bottles everywhere, and it took you a while to figure out which were empty and which weren't.

"Y/n?" you suddenly heard a familiar voice behind you. When you turned around Hyunggu was leaning against the door frame.

"Hyunggu," you just deadpanned, a little caught off guard to meet him. "I didn't know you were here."

"Dito." He gave you a once over before he broke into a smug grin and stepped a little closer. "Dressed to impress, hm?"

You suddenly felt uncomfortable in your clothes. It wasn't what you usually wore but you'd thought the difference wasn't that obvious. But now you felt as if you were wearing an ill fitting costume.

"No," you stuttered out. "Just wanted to try something new." An awkward laugh escaped your lips. "Guess it doesn't suit me."

Hyunggu took another step closer, standing right in front of you now. You could smell the alcohol on him, but there was also the flowery scent of his perfume.

"Not at all." He smiled at you through hooded eyes. "You look good."

Your mouth felt dry. "Is that so?"

"Mhm," he nodded, his eyes wandering from your face down to your feet and back up again. "It is."

For a moment you just stared at him, right into his dark eyes. There was a hunger in them that you hadn't seen before. At least not like this, not directed at yourself.

You tore your gaze away, feeling the heat rise to your ears. "Are you drunk, Hyunggu?"

"Maybe a little tipsy?" He chuckled, but when he reached for your chin to make you look at him his expression was serious again. "But I know a pretty thing when I see one."

You shouldn't be attracted to this, you knew that well. But after years and years of feeling jealous of the people by his side that got to have him if only for a night, you couldn't help the way your heart was racing in your chest now that you'd taken their place. Of course, this wouldn't lead anywhere. He'd surely snap out of it any second, maybe chuckle and say it was a joke.

But just for this moment it felt good to have him look at you like that, like he wanted to have you.

"Ran out of things to say?" he whispered, when you stayed silent.

"I'm just thinking—" You swallowed. "Maybe we should get back to the party."

"Should we?" A thoughtful pout appeared on his face. "I feel like I've spent enough time there already. It's not that good of a party, honestly."

You huffed a laugh. "Really?"

"Mhm, trust me, I'm an expert on that."

"So what do you suggest?" Your voice sounded breathless.

"I think we should get out of here. Unless—," he gave you another once over. "you're here with someone?"

"No," you whispered, ignoring the annoying voice in the back of your head telling you that this was a bad idea. "No, we can go."

He looked smug when he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the kitchen towards the entrance door with him.

Not even a minute later, you were already outside, the cold night air hitting you in the face like a bucket of ice water.

The voice in your head got louder then, no longer drowned out by the noise of the party.

But before it could convince you to abort this whole thing, Hyunggu waved over a cab and opened the door for you. Your limbs just moved on their own, sitting down on the backseat. And then the car door closed and Hyunggu was sitting next to you, leaning so close into your personal space you felt his breath against your ear.

He reached over your shoulder, practically caging you in against the seat

—and pulled at the seat belt to plug it in for you.

"Safety first," he whispered against your ear with a chuckle that made shivers run down your spine.

You felt embarrassed by the way your imagination had already started running wild with you—but was it really that off to think something would happen? You left the party together after all, why if not for something to happen?

Not long after, he closed the door to his apartment behind you and easily slipped out of his shoes and coat. Before you knew it his hands were on your shoulders, helping you out of your jacket and hanging it somewhere, but you didn't catch where exactly. Both, because of the darkness that engulfed the hallway, and the fact that you couldn't help looking around in fascination, trying to make out something, anything despite the lack of light.

It hadn't occurred to you before, but now that you were here you realized you hadn't been to his apartment until now.

Hyunggu didn't really give you time to marvel at the new surroundings though. He took you by the hand and pulled you with him through one of the doors. 

His eyes were constantly on you as you stepped inside his bedroom. He reached behind you to close the door, making you walk backwards until your back was flush against the smooth wooden surface.

The lock clicked shut but Hyunggu didn't show any intent to move away. Instead he kept hovering in your personal space, his eyes wandering over your face.

Your heart was hammering in your chest so loudly you were convinced he must be hearing it too from how close you were.

You just stood there, unable to do anything but look at him.  The tension between the two of you felt palpable, almost like something you could touch if you reached out your hand.

There were only a few inches left, such a small gap to close, but neither of you moved.

You, because you didn't dare to. 

Him? You weren't sure. Maybe he enjoyed this, the way he had you on edge.

"You know," he whispered after a while, his lips so close to your ear that you felt them ghosting your skin. "I really didn't take you to be this kinda person."

You weren't sure how to take his words. You hadn't taken yourself to be this kinda person either. Because you weren't. But when it came to Hyunggu it was different. It was the way he looked at you—how were you supposed to say no to him?

"What, disappointed?" you asked, trying hard to sound more confident and casual about this than you were. 

He chuckled. "Not at all. I’d say it’s a pleasant surprise."

You scoffed in an attempt to hide just how self-conscious you were feeling about all of this. You hadn't done anything like this before, not really. Going home with someone simply hadn't been anything you'd been interested in before, not with a stranger and even less with a friend. 

"So, what do we do now?" Hyunggu's lips were still close to your ear when he said that, his sultry voice making you shiver.

Despite his flirty undertone, you felt like he was giving you options. Namely, the option to back out, if you wanted to.

And maybe you should have taken it. Laughed it all off, said yeah, honestly, what are we doing? We're friends!

But you didn't. You needed him to look at you like this just a little longer. Were you being headless? Probably. But you  didn't care.

"Kiss me."

Hyunggu grinned self-satisfied as if he'd waited for you to say that. 

"My pleasure," he whispered against your lips, and then he closed the gap.

You'd imagined how it'd feel to kiss him a zillion times in your head. You'd made up scenarios of how his lips would graze yours gently or how he'd passionately kiss you in a heated moment.

The real thing was nothing like what you'd imagined it to be. He wasn't gentle or careful with you, he didn't treat you like something fragile that needed to be protected. But he wasn't exactly rough either.

If anything, the kiss felt greedy, as if he'd been hungry for this, for you, and it was all you could do to let yourself be devoured whole.

You barely noticed the way his hands found the hem of your shirt or how he guided you to his bed, but before you knew it you found yourself falling onto his mattress, your clothes scattered on the floor and  Hyunggu on top of you.

It wasn't romantic. You felt a little stiff, constantly worried about showing too much of yourself, of your feelings. You simply didn’t know how to behave. What was allowed and what wasn’t? How much affection were you allowed to show before you were crossing the line?

It felt like walking on a wire and heck, balance had never been one of your strong points.

He didn’t care to take it slow either. His hands on you were rushed and greedy. But despite the haste in his touch, his skin felt warm and soft against yours and you wondered if you'd get to feel it again once this night was over. It wasn't love on his part, you knew that. But at that moment it was the most you could get. Even if you’d regret it later, you were more than willing to give yourself to him if it meant getting to be this close.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself alone in an unfamiliar bed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that didn’t belong to you. It took you a second to wrap your head around things and realize where you were and how you’d ended up here.

It wasn’t like you’d expected romantic cuddling or anything of that type. But somehow, waking up in his bed by yourself made you feel terribly lonely and maybe even a little used. Of course, that wasn’t fair to Hyunggu. You’d known what you were signing up for when you left the party with him. You’d decided to do this, despite the regrets you would surely have about it. It wasn’t his fault that you set yourself up to get your heart broken.

Still, it hurt. 

Fighting back tears, you sat up and looked around the room to locate your clothes that were scattered on the floor. You quickly slipped into your underwear, before gathering the rest of your things.

Just when you wanted to take off Hyunggu’s shirt to put on your own clothes, the door opened and you quickly pulled it down again to cover yourself.

He chuckled at your hasty movement. “Not like there’s anything I haven’t already seen.”

“That—,” you tried to protest but you couldn’t really come up with anything.

Hyunggu looked at you with a cheeky smile that reached his eyes. It felt a little unfair that he could smile at you like this, like what happened wasn’t a big deal, while you were beating yourself up about it.

“Are you having breakfast? Don’t have much here, but I’m sure we could come up with something. You can take a shower too.”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. You weren’t sure what you wanted from him exactly, but it wasn’t a casual invitation to breakfast.

“Ah, thanks, but I’m meeting someone later and I still need to clean up a bit so I should probably get going,” you lied.

He simply nodded, not particularly shaken up by your reply. “Okay, sure.”

You rushed past him into the bathroom to get dressed and wash your face. You’d hoped the cold water would help you calm down but it wasn’t really doing much. The only thing keeping you from crying was the fact that you’d have to get out of this bathroom and face Hyunggu again.

The moment you left his apartment though, throwing a hasty goodbye at Hyunggu who told you he’d see you on Monday, you couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

Maybe you were being overdramatic, but the whole situation was too much for you. There was a reason why you didn’t usually do these things, but it was a little too late to mourn this now.

Things didn’t change after that. Everything was just the way it had always been. At least on the surface.

If someone would have bothered to dig a little deeper, maybe they would have noticed the way you kept being overly conscious of every little move, afraid to give away what happened between Hyunggu and you to anyone else and even more afraid that he could notice that it’d shaken you up.

But no one did. Hyunggu too was just like always. In a way you were grateful that you were still allowed to be by his side now even if it was just as a friend. Not many one night stands of his got that privilege. But the problem was, you didn’t really know how to be his friend anymore. It was draining, as if you were constantly wearing a mask.

You weren’t sure if Hyunggu simply didn’t notice or if he was just trying to preserve your dignity. Either way, he didn’t say anything.

Just when you thought you’d slowly gotten used to this whole game of charade, your friends decided it was time for a little get away. Nothing big—most of you were both busy and broke. Changgu found a cottage that wasn’t too far away and not too expensive either. It didn’t have enough beds, but Shinwon reassured that he was fine taking the couch for a night.

So, on a weekend before exam season started, you all took the trip to the cottage. It was a little remote, part of a small holiday settlement by a lake. Yuto had been pretty happy about that, hoping to do some fishing (though, looking at the rainy weather, you weren’t sure if he’d go through with it).

Honestly, you were a little nervous about the trip, unsure if you’d be able to have Hyunggu around so much. But since there’d be other people too you weren’t too pessimistic. Of course, none of your friends knew what was going on. You hadn’t even told your best friend about the one night stand. But, since she knew about your crush and desperately wanted you to get over it, you were convinced she’d keep you two from being alone. Besides, since Shinwon, Wooseok and Yuto were coming along, all of them incredibly close to Hyunggu, you felt they’d probably keep him occupied. And in the meantime you could just have a nice stay with Changgu and your bestie. It was only two days and one night anyway.

Except, that could be a really long time if you were locked-up in a rather small cottage, the sheer endless downpour keeping you from exploring outside. 

You’d really hoped the weather would get better, but the closer you got to your destination, the worse it got. Just the short distance from the cars to the cottage left you drenched and you were more than glad to finally get inside. Since most of you wanted to wash up and get changed, you quickly sorted the rooms and then took turns with the bathrooms. There were two single rooms that Changgu and Hyunggu were lucky enough to snatch by winning at rock, paper, scissors. The two double rooms were shared by Wooseok and Yuto and you and your best friend respectively. As promised, Shinwon got himself comfortable on the couch in the living room.

After everyone had warmed up, you played a few games and made food. You naturally split into smaller groups. Naturally, except for the fact that you purposely avoided being stuck with Hyunggu for too long. He didn’t deserve to be avoided, but being with him for too long just hurt. It made you remember and yearn and regret when all you wanted to do was forget.

You drank a little during dinner, and continued on afterwards, accompanied by stupid little games or odd stories. It was nice to be together with everyone like this, and somehow it felt really wholesome despite the bad weather. 

As it got later and later, everyone excused themselves to go to sleep. Your body too was desperate for some rest, so you tagged along when your best friend went upstairs.

But once you were laying in bed, your friend next to you already passed out, you felt wide awake. It wasn’t like anything specific was keeping you awake, it was just an overall feeling of anxiousness. Unable to calm down, you sneaked out of your room and down to the veranda that branched from the living room. You made sure not to wake Shinwon, who was snoring on the couch, when you opened the glass door and stepped outside. 

The sound of the rain pattering against the wooden floor boards was somewhat comforting. It had let up a little, the rain shower yielding to a gentle drizzle, but you stayed close to the house wall either way, taking shelter under the roofing. 

For a while you just sat there in silence, watching the water hitting the ground and forming little puddles. You started to feel cold, but you didn’t want to interrupt Shinwon further by getting warmer clothes, nor did you want to go to bed just yet. So, you pulled your legs closer to your body, rubbing your arms in steady movements to keep warm.

Suddenly, you felt a blanket drape around your shoulder. When your head snapped up, you were faced with Hyunggu giving you a smile as he closed the door behind himself. You’d been so lost in thought, you hadn’t even heard him open it.

“I only brought one, so we’ll have to share.” He crouched down next to you, and tugged at the blanket to get under it too. “I didn’t know you’d be out here.”

You adjusted a bit to give him more space, hyper aware of all the places your bodies touched. 

“Can’t sleep?” You asked eventually.

He just shrugged, wrapping the blanket more tightly around the two of you and coming even closer as he did so.

Desperate to distract yourself and fill the silence with words, you said the first thing that came to your mind. “You know, they say when you can’t sleep it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.”

“Hmm,” he cocked his head. “Is that so?”

After thinking about it for a second, a thoughtful pout appeared on his face. “But who would that be? After all, you're awake too.”

You almost choked. “Why would I dream of you?”

He smiled cheekily before he leaned in close enough for his lips to graze your ear. “I have an idea or two.” He trailed lower then, his lips ghosting over your neck making you shudder. “I’m sure you can think of some, too.”

“I don't think we should do this,” you whispered, but your actions betrayed you, tilting your head to give him more access.

You felt him grin against your skin. “But I think we both really want to. So, why shouldn't we?”

“Just—,” you let out a small gasp when he left a kiss right below your jaw. “Someone could see. Shinwon is literally sleeping in the living room.”

“Hm, so that's what you're worried about?” Hyunggu pulled away and got back onto his feet, pulling the blanket from you in the act. “I have an easy solution for that.”

He held out his hand to you, a challenging smirk on his lips. “Unless you don't want to after all?”

You hated yourself for being so weak to him and giving in so easily. But you simply couldn’t let this go.

With a racing pulse, you took his hand and let him help you up. He intertwined your fingers and opened the door with his other hand. Before you went inside though, he turned around again, his index finger raised to his lips. 

“We better be quiet,” he whispered with a wink, as if you really needed that reminder.

You tiptoed up to his bedroom, careful not to wake anyone up. But the moment the door closed behind you, he lost all reservations. With a swift movement, he had you up against the wall, his body flush against yours.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Hyunggu mumbled into your neck, his hands finding their way to your hips. “A lot.”

You didn’t reply, couldn’t reply, your mind still trying to process his words while his eager hands already pushed up the fabric of your shirt.

His lips brushed against your shoulder. “Up,” he whispered and you felt the word tickling your skin. You obliged, raising your arms so he could take off your shirt with a satisfied grin, before he pulled you in again, his lips trailing from your neck down to your chest.

You trembled in his hold, your hands clinging to his shoulders. It was all kinds of wrong, but you felt impatient for more, desperate even. He noticed and his grin grew a little wider. 

“Maybe we should move this to the bed?”

You expected him to just pull you along, but he didn’t. Instead he waited for a reply from you, his lips continuing to travel your skin. You swallowed around the lump in your throat, trying to come up with words but blanking. Hyunggu didn’t seem satisfied with the nod you gave him in place of a proper response though.

“Hm?” He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, your voice quivering. “We should.”

With a content hum, he pecked your temple before pulling you to the bed and pushing you down onto the mattress. He didn’t waste time to get his hands and mouth on you again, eagerly exploring your body and taking you apart.

His lips didn’t seem to ever leave your skin for more than a second. And yet, you were left yearning for him to kiss you, to really kiss you. He did last time, so why wasn’t he now? You didn’t dare to ask him for it though, even less initiate it yourself. No matter how much you wanted it, you were too afraid that he’d be able to look right behind your mask if you did.

“You know,” Hyunggu mumbled a while later, his arm loosely thrown over your body. It was still dark outside, the rain pattering against the window in a steady rhythm and you were laying next to him on the twin size bed.

“Mhm?” You still felt a little high, your breath only just evening out.

“I think we should do this more often.”

For a moment you stayed silent, unsure if you’d heard him right. When you turned your head to look at him questioningly, he looked right back. His features were open and relaxed as if his suggestion was the most normal thing ever. His tone too was so casual, you could have thought he was talking about table tennis or something and not, you know, sex.

“What?” You asked, just to be sure you heard him right.

He shrugged sheepishly. “I mean, we clearly have good chemistry. We should do this more often. Isn’t that better than looking for someone new all the time?”

You hesitated. See, it’s not that you weren’t aware just how bad of an idea this was. You undoubtedly would get hurt over and over again. But at least you could have him. If not all of him, if not his heart, you could at least have him like this. And if it meant he wouldn’t seek out anyone else either, that meant you also wouldn’t have to feel jealous anymore—wasn’t it a good deal in the end?

Before you could second guess yourself, you nodded. “Sure.”

“Good.” He grinned widely. “Just don’t fall in love with me.”

“Right back at you. The one who falls first loses.” You ignored the stinging in your chest (or the fact that you’d long lost this game before it had even started).

“Hm,” he nodded thoughtfully. “I think I’ll do fine. I really hate losing.”

“Let’s keep it a secret though.”

“What, scared to ruin your reputation, sweetheart?”

“I just don’t need anyone’s opinion on this.”

“Fine with me.” He shrugged. “But I guess you should go back to your room then. I’m sure they’d have a lot of questions if you came out of my room in the morning.”

When you were back in your bed, your best friend snoring beside you unbothered, you felt empty. You stared at the ceiling blankly, wondering if this was as big of a mistake as it seemed or if maybe, eventually, you’d learn to separate your body from your heart after all.

The trip ended just like that. No one noticed what had happened between the two of you and once again everything looked as always. You wondered how Hyunggu could be this good at keeping a poker face—then again, maybe it was easier if you didn’t have any feelings involved.

You knew you’d agreed to some kind of friends with benefits thing, but you weren’t sure if anything would come of it. Sure, he said he wanted to do it again, but that didn’t mean it would actually happen.

Hyunggu didn’t leave you wondering for too long though. Just a few days after the trip, he texted you, asking if you wanted to come over that night. He didn’t mask his intentions by inviting you for dinner or a movie, but you supposed that kind of courting wasn’t necessary if you were nothing but fuck buddies in the first place.

The first time, you still had some reservations. You drove over anyway, too spineless to actually decline. No matter how hard it was to put up with the loneliness that would rush over you as soon as the deed was done, being with him just felt so good, you’d convinced yourself it was worth it.

You never stayed the night. Hyunggu didn’t throw you out, he wasn’t the kind of person that would make you drive home at night after he’d slept with you. Not when there was no threat of someone finding out, anyway. In fact, when you slipped out of bed and put your clothes back on that first night after the trip, he looked at you in surprise.

“You know that you don’t have to go, right?” He had questioned, sitting up in his bed. “It was just because of the others last time, you know that, right?”

But you’d just waved him off, saying you simply preferred to sleep in your own bed.

The truth was, you couldn’t bear the thought of reliving the morning after that first night together. You’d been miserable and hurt, and if it could spare you even a sliver of that heartbreak, you were willing to drive home at the dead of night.

Another measure you’d taken  to protect yourself was not to invite him to your place ever. You pretended it was about convenience. In reality you just doubted you’d ever get over this, if you knew how it was to have him in your home, in your bed, to have your sheets smelling like him.

No, you needed to distance yourself emotionally as much as possible, if you wanted to somehow make this work. So you did.

“By the way,” Changgu asked a few weeks later at lunch. “Are you all going to that Valentine’s party?” He looked into the round, hoping for a little bit of enthusiasm. But everyone just shrugged.

“Nah, I’ll stay home.” Wooseok barely looked up from his phone as he replied, the plate in front of him already empty.

“You always stay home,” Changgu complained. “And I bet if you don’t go, Yuto won’t either.”

At the comment, Yuto just shrugged, evading to meet Changgu’s gaze.

He sighed. “Y’all are no fun. Hyunggu?”

Your head snapped around to Hyunggu just a little too quickly, curious about his response. Of course you didn’t have any claim on him in any way and if he wanted to go he could. But it was no secret that he 1) loved parties and 2) didn’t fancy going home alone.

To your surprise Hyunggu tilted his head thoughtfully. “Don’t know. Maybe?”

“What do you mean maybe? You always go to that party. It’s Valentine’s!”

“Yeah, don’t know. Maybe,” he simply repeated, making the pout on Changgu’s face grow even further.

“Y/n?” He turned to you with pleading eyes.

“Uh, I also don’t really know, Changgu. I don’t really want to go to a Valentine’s party as a single.” You scrunched your nose.

“But that’s the whole point—,” Changgu started, but was promptly interrupted by Shinwon who showed up at the table right then, your best friend in tow.

“Just date Hyunggu then. He’s single.” You were sure it was meant to be a joke, but with Shinwon’s dry humor it wasn’t always easy to tell.

Your best friend snorted, as she sat her tray onto the table and plopped down on the chair next to you. “As if he’d ever do relationships.”

“I mean,” Hyunggu grinned, throwing you a playful wink. “It doesn’t have to be a relationship.”

You felt your face heat up and prayed that no one would notice. Thankfully their attention seemed to be focused more on Hyunggu, despite the conversation being about you, too.

“Come on, Hyunggu, y/n deserves better than that,” your friend argued.

Shinwon shrugged, sitting down at the table too. “They do say opposites attract.”

You caught Changgu nodding thoughtfully next to him.

Wooseok looked up from his phone too then, his gaze wandering to Hyunggu before it settled on you. For a second you wondered if he’d noticed something, but his eyes just examined you innocently. 

“Y/n would never get into something casual anyway,” he concluded. “Would you?”

You forced a laugh and wondered if it sounded as strangled to everyone else as it did to you. “Never.”

From your peripheral vision you saw the way Hyunggu looked at you with a raised eyebrow, but you decided to ignore it. All of this already hit way too close to home.

“I don’t know,” Changgu commented, as he stuffed his cheeks with the last bite of his lunch. “I think it’d be kinda cute.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed.

“I think we should slowly get going,” Yuto disrupted the conversation with a glance at the clock on the wall. 

Wooseok nodded, stuffing his phone into his pocket before picking up his tray to leave. Hyunggu and Changgu followed along as well, leaving you behind with Shinwon and your best friend.

“Since we were already on the topic though,” she mumbled between forks of food. “Remember Hongseok?”

You looked at her questioningly. “Hongseok?”

“You know, the guy I wanted to introduce you to.”

You’d completely forgotten all about him.

“Oooh,” Shinwon grinned. “You want to set y/n up with him?”

“I mean, if nothing comes of it that’s fine too, I just thought they should at least meet. Don’t they have a lot in common?”

“Hm, I guess so,” he agreed.

“So, what about him?”

“Right,” your friend focused on you again. “He was really bummed out that you couldn’t meet at that party.” She sighed dramatically. “Just why did you have to leave so early?”

“Told you, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“I know, I know, it’s just a pity. Was such a good opportunity. Anyway,” she gesticulated with her fork as she spoke. “You’re still up for meeting him, right?”

Your mind wandered to Hyunggu and all the evenings you’d spent at his apartment. “I’m not sure…”

“C’mon y/n, I’m not asking you to marry him. It’s just a meeting. He’s a nice guy, I promise.”

“I just—I’m not really good at blind dates?”

“Then meet him casually,” Shinwon chimed in. “We hang out with him sometimes, you could just tag along.”

“Perfect,” your best friend decided for you, a wide grin on her face.

Without a proper reason to decline you just nodded slowly. Your friend was right anyway, it was just a meeting. 

Like so often over the past few weeks, you found yourself in Hyunggu’s apartment later that night. He seemed to be in a good mood, smiling as he pulled you into his lap.

“Never, hm?” He mumbled before his teeth nibbled at your neck teasingly. 

It took you a second to pick up what he was referring to, but then it clicked. “Well, what else was I supposed to say?”

“Mh-mhm, it’s fine.” He tilted his head to look up at you with a self-satisfied smirk. “It’s kinda hot that I’m the only one who knows this side of you.”

Hyunggu went back to his task of exploring your skin with his lips. “They’d be so shocked to see you like this,” he mumbled in between kisses and bites. “They really think you’re so innocent, it would shatter their world.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” you breathed out, but you couldn’t deny that his words did something to you. Maybe it wasn’t his words per se, but the fact that he was so turned on by all of this, by sharing this secret. It was nonsensical, but it made you feel just a little closer to him.

“If you say so." He flipped you over, making you land with your back on the mattress, his frame hovering above you. “Maybe Shinwon was right though.” 

He said this casually, his lips right back on your body. But you weren’t able to focus on that.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we should just date.” He left a kiss against your jaw.

You pushed at his shoulders, making him back off for a second. “What?”

“I mean, seems convenient, doesn’t it? We’re both single, we have good chemistry—”

“I don’t want to date out of convenience!” You frowned, not sure if you were angry with him for suggesting it, or yourself for getting your hopes up.

“Sorry, sweetheart, wasn’t aware you were such a romantic.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“Mh-mhm, not at all.” He smiled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck again. “Just hope you won’t find your perfect match too quickly. It’d be such a pity to end this so soon.”

Just as promised, your friend found a way for you to casually meet Hongseok, inviting you over for a dinner night at her flat. She’d offered to prepare the main dish, while everyone else was supposed to bring a little something. You’d opted for a bottle of wine, since you didn’t really have the time to prepare something yourself, and you just hoped that the others weren’t the same. You knew for a fact that Hyunggu would have brought wine if he was attending, but he couldn’t make it. Honestly, it worked in your favor. You didn’t really want to have your crush/friend with benefits present while your best friend tried setting you up with another guy. No, it was better not to have Hyunggu there, even if a part of you did want to see him.

When you arrived at your friend’s flat, (a little earlier since you knew she could probably use a hand with last minute preparations) she opened the door for you in a rush, her hair messy and napkins in her hand.

“Hey, y/n, hey,” she gave you a quick hug before she let you in, her eyes falling onto the bottle in your hand. “Oh, wine, perfect, can you bring it in the kitchen for now? And uh, maybe you can help setting the table, so I can get changed?” 

She was already bustling off again as she said so, yelling a “I’m sorry, I just had terrible time management today,” over her shoulder.

“No worries,” you chuckled, slipping out of your shoes and making your way  into the familiar flat. To your surprise, you heard clattering from the kitchen. Wondering if maybe Shinwon or Changgu had come early for some reason, you peeked your head through the door. The guy that stood in the kitchen though, wasn’t anyone you were familiar with.

“Uh, hi,” you awkwardly greeted, making him turn around.

He looked a little disheveled too, an apron around his neck, and some marinada on the light yellow rubber gloves he was wearing.

“Oh,” his eyes went wide when he saw you, before a smile  spread on his face. “Hi, we haven’t met before, have we? I’m Hongseok.” He reached out his hand to you, but then seemingly remembered the marinada and quickly pulled it back again. With clumsy movements he wrestled out of the tight gloves, setting them onto the counter. Before he held out his hand a second time, he wiped it on his apron, as if to make sure it was really clean. The whole scene was so awkward, you couldn’t help but chuckle. He was somewhat endearing.

“Hi,” you smiled and took his hand. “Y/n.”

He nodded, his gaze flickering between you and the floor, visibly flustered. “I was just,” he gestured  vaguely at the surroundings. “Helping with the cooking and all. She said she could use some help and I really like cooking so—,” Hongseok stopped himself from rambling further. “I helped with the cooking,” he repeated, a dorky smile on his face.

“You still need a hand with anything?”

“Ah, no, I’m basically done, I was just about to start cleaning up the mess a bit.”

“Okay, I’ll start setting the table then,” you briefly nodded at the table in the living room.

“Do you know where everything is? Like the dinnerware?”

You giggled. “Yeah, I’ve been here once or twice before.”

“Right,” he nodded, and then shook his head. “Actually, I don’t know why I asked. It’s my first time here, I don’t know where things are at all.”

“Don’t worry.” With a chuckle you made your way over to the cabinet.

“I’ve been thinking,” Hongseok mumbled while you took out the plates you knew your friend liked to use for dinner nights. “It’s a pity we missed each other at the party. I’ve been told a lot about you, so I was really looking forward to meeting you. I should have come a little earlier…” He scratched his neck.

You just stared at him, unsure how to respond. You couldn’t deny that his cute behavior made your heart flutter, if only a little bit.

“Anyway,” he chuckled awkwardly. “It’s good to meet you now, y/n.”

You nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

Soon after, your friend returned, fully dressed up and her hair in a neat ponytail. It was just on time before the others arrived, bringing some side dishes and desserts.

The dinner night was fun as always. Except for your friend and Shinwon, no one had known Hongseok prior, but he fit right in, joking around with everyone as if he’d long been part of the group. 

You too got along with him well. Once he wasn’t feeling so nervous anymore, conversation flowed pretty naturally, from music to movies to cafés either of you liked to visit. You understood now, why your friend had wanted to introduce the two of you—somehow you just clicked. If not anything more, you could at least picture yourself becoming friends with him. 

When you were heading to lunch a few days later, Hyunggu came jogging up to you, his class also just over.

“Hey,” he grinned and lightly nudged you in the side.

“Hey.”

There was a happy bounce in his step, almost as if he was dancing. It wasn’t anything unusual though. Hyunggu just was like that sometimes, full of appreciation for his surroundings and overjoyed by life itself. He’d said once that he falls in love with the world too easily. A part of you wished he could fall for you that easily too.

“Last class for today?” He asked, as you made your way down the hall.

“Yep.”

A grin spread on his face. “So let’s go home?”

You knew exactly what he was implying. “It’s noon.”

“And?”

“And I agreed to meet the others for lunch.”

“Hm,” he sighed, a small crease forming between his eyebrows before his expression lit up again. “Fine, let’s have lunch with everyone. I’ll take you home afterwards?”

You didn’t want to be so easy and get strung along in his pace every time. But saying ‘no’ just felt impossible, when he was smiling at you like that. Hyunggu  was simply too charming to resist.

“Okay.”

His smile turned even wider. “Okay.”

When you reached the cafeteria the others were already sitting at one of the tables, waving you over once they spotted you. Hongseok was sitting with them too, joking around with Shinwon, and you really felt as if he was a part of your group already. You sat down next to him, while Hyunggu plopped into the seat across from you. 

"Ah, you haven't met yet have you?" You glanced between the two of them.

"Hyunggu, right? I've seen you in the hallway before and we have a lecture together," Hongseok said bashfully.

Hyunggu had a polite smile on his face. "Literature class?"

"Yes. I'm Hongseok."

Hyunggu nodded before he got distracted by whatever nonsense Shinwon was talking about. Meanwhile, Hongseok turned to you.

"You know, that movie we talked about last time?" He took a giant bite of his food, his cheeks stuffed like a hamsters. "The sequel is supposed to air soon, have you heard?"

"Yes!" You nodded excitedly, happy to have someone who liked the franchise as much as you do. "I'll have to see it in the theater as soon as it comes out!"

"What are you talking about?" You hadn't noticed Hyunggu’s attention shifting back to you and turned to him in surprise.

"Ah, just a movie, do you know—," Hongseok started but you interrupted him with a chuckle, casually touching his upper arm.

"Don't even bother, Hongseok. He doesn't like it at all. I guess it's not artsy and pretentious enough."

You threw a teasing grin over at Hyunggu who frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He tilted his head. "And anyway, aren't you two awfully close for people who only just met recently?"

"They just click," your best friend chimed in with a grin. "A perfect match."

You saw from your peripheral vision how Hongseok nervously fidgeted with his fingers, and you quickly removed your hand to put some distance between the two of you.

"We just have similar interests," you quickly waved it off. "That's all."

Hyunggu still seemed a little skeptical but he let it be. After that, the conversations at the table went from this to that, not stopping at any topic for too long. In between, your eyes kept wandering to Hyunggu. Somehow he seemed a little off ever since you'd sat down with everyone but maybe he was just impatient to get home? Or maybe you were just imagining things. After all, you felt way too aware of the plans you had after this to really feel capable of making an objective call. You tried your best to focus on the conversations and not the charming bastard across from you. It almost worked. 

All in all, lunch was fun, really. Until Changgu brought up that stupid party again.

“By the way, Hongseok, did you hear about the Valentine’s party? Are you going?”

“I don’t really know,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t drink so—”

“Oh, don’t worry, that's fine,” Changgu immediately reassured. “Shinwon also doesn’t drink.”

“But still, shouldn’t you have a date for a Valentine’s day party?”

“Nah, don’t wo—”

“Y/n also doesn’t have a date,” Shinwon interrupted.

“Huh?” You stared at him with wide eyes before your gaze wandered to Hongseok who was visibly flustered.

Before you could say anything else about it though, Hyunggu got up and took his tray off the table.

“Sorry, guys, it’s getting kinda late, I should get going. You coming, y/n?”

Everyone’s gaze wandered to you in confusion.

“Y/n?” Wooseok repeated, as if he tried to put the pieces together. “Why?”

“Uh—,” you stuttered, your mouth feeling dry. You hadn’t expected Hyunggu to just put that out there. The two of you had always been pretty secretive so you thought you’d just sneak out after lunch. Then again, you were friends—there was nothing weird about driving home together, right? Right? So, why did it suddenly look like a big deal now?

“Y/n forgot their bus pass,” Hyunggu said smoothly. “I came by car, so I said I’d drive them.”

“Ah,” Wooseok nodded. “Makes sense.”

Changgu chuckled. “Right. You don’t usually hang out together much. Will you even have anything to talk about in the car?”

The smile on Hyunggu’s face didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I think we’ll be just fine.”

“What had you in such a hurry?” You asked once it was just the two of you. 

Hyunggu looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a smug smile. “What, you don’t look forward to our plans? Would you rather go back?”

You just rolled your eyes at him. It was probably your own fault for expecting a serious reply.

Maybe it was just your imagination, but when Hyunggu held you that day, he seemed to be just a little bit rougher with you than usual. His grip on your waist was strong as he pulled you close and his teeth grazed your skin in a way that was just on the right side of painful.

It wasn’t dark out yet and somehow that made the whole thing feel more intimate. You’d usually come to his place at night, when both of you were engulfed in darkness. But today he could see you, really see you, and he still wanted you anyway. He held onto you so tightly, as if he didn’t want to let you go again—or maybe that was just your wishful thinking.

“Stay a bit,” he whispered later, when you wanted to slip out from underneath his blanket.

“Why?”

He considered for a moment before a grin spread on his face. “It’s still early. Shouldn’t we make the most of the day?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Hm,” he hummed, nuzzling closer. “But you like that.”

If only he knew.

“Fine.” You let your head fall back into the pillow. 

Hyunggu’s arm snaked around your waist, his fingers drawing lazy patterns into your skin. 

“This is nice,” he mumbled, pressing small kisses into your shoulder. “Really nice.”

He propped himself up a little, hovering over you so his lips could continue their journey; from your shoulders to your collarbones and then further down.

“You know what I think?”

“Hm?” you hummed in response, enjoying the feeling of his mouth against your skin.

“I think instead of going to that party,” he whispered as his lips ghosted over your stomach, giving you goosebumps. “You should just come here.”

Your mind felt hazy and you could barely follow his words. “Should I?”

“Hm-hm.” He scooted further down, his head disappearing between your legs. 

“I think,” he paused to peck the skin of your inner thigh. “We could come up with something way more fun than a party, couldn’t we?”

You failed to give him a proper response, only a high pitched gasp leaving your throat, when you felt his mouth on you.

“Don’t you think?” He asked again, barely pulling away.

“Yeah, yes,” you nodded, your hands finding their way into his hair. “We could.”

You hadn't planned to spend the night at his place. But you'd been so tired and drowsy, you'd allowed yourself to rest your eyes for a moment before leaving. When you opened them again though, it was already the middle of the night, the sky outside his windows pitch black.

That was the moment you were supposed to slip out of his bed, you knew that well. After all, you'd made these rules for yourself.

But Hyunggu was sleeping so soundly next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist. You didn't want to leave. Just a little longer would be fine, right? It's not like he would know.

Your eyes fell shut again and you snuggled a little further into his embrace. A content sigh left his lips and he pulled you closer, making you wonder for a moment if he'd woken up after all. But his breathing was still deep and even; his eyes remained closed.

The next time you woke up, sunlight was streaming in through the windows, tickling your nose. You kept your eyes shut for a little longer, settling into the comfortable warmth of Hyunggu's embrace—

Hyunggu.

Your eyes flew open, heart beating way too fast in your chest.

You'd really done it now, you'd broken your own rules. This was bad. You had to get up and go home. You needed to change and get your things for class. What time was it even? Would you make it on time? You couldn't miss that lecture, your professor was really strict when it came to attendance. You felt your breathing grow fast and shallow and your fingers tingle with nerves. You had to go, you really had to go.

 Just when you wanted to wrestle yourself out of Hyunggu's arms, he gave you a little squeeze.

"You stayed," he mumbled, sounding sleepy but content.

You didn't have the nerve to wreck your mind over that right now though. 

Hyunggu seemed to notice that something was going on, because he propped himself up to look at you.

"What's wrong?"

You avoided his gaze.

"Are you worried about staying over? It's okay. I told you that I don't mind that, remember?"

You shook your head, feeling tears prick at your eyes that you tried to stop from spilling.

"No, it's just— I have to go, I have classes and I won't be on time and I need to wash up and get my things and—I wanted to go home, I should have just gone home."

"It's still early,  y/n." Hyunggus's voice was calm and soft. He gently cupped your face to make you look at him. "We have enough time, hm?"

"No, I—"

"I promise we have enough time, y/n. You don't have to worry about this. Just get washed up and I'll make us breakfast and then I'll drive you home so you can change and get your things, alright?"

When you nodded hesitantly, he smiled encouragingly before leaving a peck on your nose. 

"Now, let's get you washed up and well fed," he giggled and got up, holding out his hand to pull you up too.

Once the fresh water of the shower hit your skin and ran down your body, you felt a little more at ease. The situation was still overwhelming, but Hyunggu had assured you that it was going to be okay, for whatever that meant, and you wanted to believe him. You'd tackle all of this one step at a time.

For a while you just let the water wash over you before you turned it off to look for shampoo. He had a bunch of  products lined up neatly in the little shower caddy. All of them looked fancy and expensive and you found yourself wondering if it was really okay to use any of them.

Just when you'd decided to take the risk and started massaging one of his shampoos into your scalp (it smelled like rose and vanilla) there was a faint knock against the bathroom door.

You felt strangely caught, as if you'd done something forbidden.

"Is it okay if I come in for a second?" 

"Eh, sure." 

The door clicked open. You couldn't see him from behind the shower curtain but heard him step inside.

"I got you some clothes you can wear for now until we got you home. Also I forgot to say but feel free to use whatever. Though, I suppose you at least found the shampoo already." He chuckled to himself and you self consciously stared at the foam on your hands.

"There should be face wash too," he added and his voice seemed to get a little further away. "Breakfast is done soon but take your time."

With that the door closed behind him and you were alone again.

After washing up, you slipped into the clothes Hyunggu had laid out for you. You tried not to think too much about how much they smelled like him and you certainly didn't bury your nose in the collar of the hoodie, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent.

When you came into the kitchen Hyunggu had already set the table with coffee, orange juice and fresh toast. He stood at the counter, just then turning around to you, a small fruit plate in his hand.

"Cute," he exclaimed when he spotted you standing there in his clothes, his smile making creases form in the corners of his eyes.

Your face felt hot and you hoped he didn't notice as you sat down at his small kitchen table.

Just as promised he drove you home after breakfast and there was still enough time for you to get changed and pack your bag. You'd assured him that you could take the bus to college, but he'd insisted on waiting since he had the same destination anyway.

Not that long after, you found yourself at the parking lot, hesitating to get out. You knew you should—your class was starting soon and you didn't fancy running late. But something was stopping you.

"All good?" Hyunggu asked when you still showed no intention to move half a minute later.

"Uh, yes, yes, of course," you quickly stuttered, unbuckled your seat belt and opened the door a crack. "Was just lost in thought, is all."

He didn't look convinced but nodded. "Okay. Wanna ride with me after class too?"

"I don't—I don't really know, I think I should actually go home today."

Hyunggu chuckled. "Well, I can also actually drive you home?"

But why would you? asked a voice in your head, but you kept it to yourself. "You don't have to."

"I really don't mind, I'm driving anyway. I'll come get you after class?"

"...okay"

He hummed contentedly. "Okay."

You finally got out of the car, while Hyunggu fetched his phone and sunglasses from the case in the middle console. Just before you closed the door behind you to leave, you changed your mind, poking your head into the car once more.

"Hyunggu?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for today and uhm—" You swallowed. "For still being my friend, despite, you know, everything."

He stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes searching your face for something you couldn't name. But then he smiled. "Right. Friends. Of course we're still friends, y/n."

 To your surprise the person waiting for you after class wasn't Hyunggu. Instead, Hongseok was leaning against the wall across from the door, greeting you with a small wave when he spotted you.

"Hey," you smiled as you walked over to him. "Do you have your next class here?"

"Ah, no, I actually hoped to catch you. I just remembered you had this class and had a moment to spare—I hope this isn't weird, but I didn't have your number so…," he trailed off.

"No, don't worry, not weird. So, what's up?"

"Actually the airing times dropped today and I thought we could—" He interrupted himself with a frown. "I know we didn't actually make plans or agree to watch together but I just thought maybe…?"

You couldn't stop yourself from chuckling at the way he stumbled over his own words. "I'd love to go together. So, when's the first showing?"

He beamed at you, scrambling for his phone to show you the airing schedule on the screen.

You agreed on a time that worked for both of you, before you dived into theories about how the plotlines from the previous movie would continue and interweave. The whole time, Hongseok seemed so excited about this and his bright smile was infectious.

“Y/n.” 

Hyunggu’s voice next to you made you startle. You hadn’t noticed him walking up to you at all, but he was standing right next to you, his bag casually slung over his shoulder. He chuckled at the way you flinched. “Ah, hey, Hongseok.” Hyunggu’s gaze briefly wandered over to him, before his attention was on you again. “Ready to go?”

His hand ghosted over your lower back and even though you could barely call it a touch, your skin started tingling under his fingers.

“Sure, sure,” you replied, just a little too slowly. “Uhm, I’ll text you because of the movie, Hongseok.”

Hongseok nodded, but when you turned to leave, he called out your name again.

“Y/n? Uhm, you don’t have my number.”

“Right,” you laughed at your own stupidity and quickly exchanged numbers, while Hyunggu stood by with something that only distantly resembled a smile. 

“You’re going to see a movie with him?” Hyunggu asked on the way to the car.

“Yes!” you smiled, rambling about how glad you were that you didn’t have to go alone.

“You could have asked me.”

You eyed him questioningly. “We’re not exactly the kind of friends that go to the movies together, are we?”

“Why not? We could be.”

“Why? Just—because. And it’s not like you’d enjoy the movie anyway. I’d rather go with someone who is actually interested.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I guess so. Well, good for you. Just be careful not to break the poor guy's heart.”

You laughed, but it was more confusion than amusement. “What’s that mean?”

“I’m pretty sure he has a crush on you.”

“What, are you jealous?” You asked, regretting the question as soon as it was out. You didn’t want to hear the answer.

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow at you. “Right,” he said mockingly. “I’m jealous.”

You laughed it off, but all you could think was how much you wanted him to be. Not because jealousy was an attractive trait—it wasn’t. But it would have been nice to know he at least felt some kind of attachment.

Hyunggu was acting a little differently. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint it—on the surface everything seemed the same. He still teased you the same, making flirty remarks and all that. But somehow things just felt a little different. Like something was happening that you couldn’t quite understand.

It still bugged you when the day of your movie date with Hongseok rolled around, your thoughts constantly drifting back to Hyunggu. It didn’t help that he texted you that noon, asking if you wanted to come over later. When you told him you were going to the movies, he left you on read for quite a while, making you think he wouldn’t answer at all. And why would he? Since you’d declined his booty call, there wasn’t much else to say, was there? But then your phone buzzed with another message.

just come over afterwards ;)

For a moment, you really considered saying yes, and somehow you hated yourself for it. Wasn’t it rude to make such plans after meeting up with a friend? After all, weren’t you supposed to focus on the person you were meeting, instead of constantly waiting for the meeting to be over so you could meet someone else? That hardly seemed fair for Hongseok.

Despite the itch in your fingers to just type okay, you sent a different message instead.

—maybe another time :)

Hongseok greeted you with a wide smile when you walked up to him. His nose looked a little red from the cold.

“You didn’t wait too long, did you?”

He shook his head. “Not at all!”

You got yourself some drinks and snacks at the counter before heading inside. You’d reserved your seats beforehand, and luckily so, since the auditorium filled up quickly.

The movie was good, really. It was everything you’d anticipated and more. But you couldn’t enjoy it as much as you should have. Whenever Hongseok giggled at a funny scene, your mind unintentionally wandered to Hyunggu instead.  You had to think of his laugh; the way it sounded and how it made his eyes crinkle and how he pushed his chin forward a little when he was really, genuinely laughing. Somehow, despite being in a movie you’d looked forward to with a guy you liked, you wanted to be somewhere else instead. The exact thing that you’d wanted to avoid by declining Hyunggu’s invitation happened anyway. You really were a lost cause.

Once the movie was over, Hongseok offered to take you home or walk you to your bus stop, but you’d assured him that you were fine. After saying goodbye, you walked to the bus stop by yourself, fidgeting with your phone. It was a stupid idea. You should just go home and sleep and maybe your head would be a little clearer in  the morning. And yet—

—does the invitation still stand?

It admittedly wasn’t your proudest moment. You could imagine his cocky grin while reading your message all too well. But it was a little too late to worry about that now. It only took a few seconds for your phone screen to light up with a reply.

yeah 

“Guess your date wasn’t that satisfying, hm?” Hyunggu asked in lieu of a greeting when he opened the door for you.

You rolled your eyes at him but your voice had no real bite to it. “Shut up, Hyunggu. Not like you had any better plans either; probably just waited for my text all day,” you teased, trying to mask how embarrassed you were about all of this.

For a second he looked at you strangely, then stepped aside to let you in. “Sure,” he replied but the comeback was a little too delayed to sound smooth.

That night Hyunggu took his time with you. It almost felt as if he dragged it out on purpose, unwilling to let you go just yet. 

He had his arm wrapped around your waist afterwards, his forehead resting against the back of your neck. You didn’t know how to act; you weren’t used to this side of him. It’s not that you didn’t like it. You did. You so badly wanted to snuggle into his arms and bathe in his warmth. But it felt like you’d expose too much of yourself if you did just that. What if he’d realize your feelings? What if he’d be put off by that?

Your gaze fell on the alarm clock on his night stand. It had already been a little later when you’d arrived, and now it was way past midnight. If you wanted to catch the last bus, you needed to get going. But the silence felt so hard to disturb.

“Aren’t you clingy today?” You eventually asked, trying to make it sound light and teasing.

“I’m just tired,” he replied, his voice tickling the skin in your neck.

“Still, you’ll have to let me go. I need to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll miss the last bus?”

“No. Why are you leaving?”

You halted for a moment, feeling confused at the sudden question. “I’m always leaving.”

“Not always.” If you didn’t know better, you could have thought he sounded a little pouty. 

“That was different, I fell asleep.”

“So, fall asleep again.”

“I—,” you interrupted yourself, unsure what to say. You knew you shouldn’t indulge this, no matter how much you wanted to. You’d broken your rule once, but you shouldn’t let it become a habit.

Then again, had breaking it really been so bad? Essentially the consequences had been a shared breakfast and silky smooth hair that smelled like roses and vanilla—you should be able to handle that, right? So maybe one more night wouldn’t matter all that much? (You purposely ignored the little voice reminding you of your anxiety attack in the morning.)

“Okay,” you whispered so quietly it was barely audible. But Hyunggu heard it anyway.

“Okay,” he repeated with a light hum, pulling you closer.

This time, waking up in Hyunggu's embrace didn't give you a panic attack. And since it was the weekend, you didn't have to worry about classes either. 

You treasured the feeling of having Hyunggu close to you, unsure how much longer it would last. Careful not to disturb him, you turned around in his arms to face him. He looked peaceful, his breath coming in steady puffs. Looking at his sleeping form, you were once more reminded of just how pretty he was. Waking up with him like this almost let you trick yourself into thinking it was more than a friends with benefits arrangement after all.

You wanted to touch him, trace his features with your hands, count the little birthmarks on his face. But you didn't. Instead, you just watched him sleep, wondering if this moment of intimacy would end as soon as he woke up.

"Hey," he whispered when he blinked his eyes open, letting them fall shut again with a small smile.

"Hey."

His sleepy eyes opened once more, just for a moment before he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"You're pretty."

It was ironic that he'd say that, especially now, when he looked like an angel despite having only just woken up himself, while you probably looked terrible.

Still, it gave you butterflies.

"Don't say that," you whispered back.

"Why not?"

"We're not—say that to someone you're actually dating next time."

"Hm," he didn't sound convinced. "I told you that first night too, though. It doesn't really have anything to do with anything, does it? I'm just saying it because it's true."

You were lost at what to say to that, so you stayed quiet. Maybe to him it was really nothing but a meaningless compliment. But to you? It made your heart ache.

For a long time you just laid in his bed together, drifting in and out of sleep and snuggling into each other's warmth. It was already noon when Hyunggu mumbled a small “Breakfast?” into your skin.

You wanted to say yes, you really wanted to. But if you didn’t leave now, then when would you? Staying over was one thing but spending the whole day at his flat was a completely different matter.

“I think I should go home. It’s so late already.”

“But it’s the weekend.”

“Still, I still have so much to do for classes next week.”

“I see.” Hyunggu’s voice sounded more reserved than before and you hated everything about it. He let go of you, sitting up in bed and fishing his hoodie from the floor to slip it on. “Want me to drive you home?” 

You quickly shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll take the bus.”

This time, he didn’t insist on driving you. Instead he said goodbye at his doorstep, a tired smile on his face, telling you he’d see you on monday.

You tried not to overthink the happenings of the weekend, but that was easier said than done. The way Hyunggu was so sweet with you in one second and then oddly distant the next drove you crazy. You kept feeling as if you’d done something wrong, but you didn’t know what. You’d tried so hard not to cross any lines. You’d kept your expectations of this arrangement low, because you didn’t want to pressure him or make him uncomfortable. But now it felt like that in itself might have been wrong as well?

It didn’t help that you didn’t really get a moment alone with Hyunggu in the following days. He acted like usual with everyone around, but you weren’t sure if that would still be the case if it was just the two of you?

You were still thinking about it at lunch on Wednesday. Your best friend was telling you some story about one of her classes and you tried your best to listen, but it wasn’t really working. 

You zoned out a little, not really taking notice of anything around you, until Changgu’s voice at the other side of the table caught your attention.

“Hyunggu! Did you finally decide?”

 The man in question sounded slightly confused. “On what?”

“The party on Friday. You said you didn’t know yet, but you’re coming, right?”

You stared at your food, but your whole focus was on that conversation. Hyunggu’s words from back then were ringing in your mind. I think instead of going to that party you should just come here. 

“Hm, it does sound fun, but—” 

Ouch.

“But?”

You lifted your gaze, just to find Hyunggu looking at you already before he turned back to Changgu.

“But I actually have other plans for that day already.”

Changgu sighed dramatically and shook his head, complaining about it all, but you barely paid it any mind. Hyunggu had said he had plans. Was he referring to you? Was he serious about spending Valentine’s Day with you? He hadn’t mentioned it again after that day, but you couldn’t help having your hopes up.

When you ran into Hongseok in the hallway later that day and he shyly asked you if you were going to the Valentine’s party, you declined. 

Hongseok’s disappointed face made you feel a little sorry, but maybe it was for the best this way, even more so if Hyunggu was right and Hongseok was actually crushing on you. Your main reason to say no was a different one though. It was stupid, Hyunggu hadn’t contacted you again so you had no way to be sure that you actually had plans on Friday. But if there was just the slightest chance, you simply couldn’t let it slip past.

Your fingers were itching with the urge to text Hyunggu and just ask him about it. But you couldn’t, not without looking pushy or desperate. So you forced yourself to wait, hoping to catch him alone, hoping for him to give you some kind of sign. It didn’t happen on Wednesday and neither did it on Thursday. So by Friday morning, you felt you were slowly but surely going insane. Maybe you’d fantasized all of that up? Maybe he’d never invited you over or maybe it was just something he'd said mindlessly? Words said during sex shouldn’t be trusted anyway.

By noon you’d given up and accepted that you’d spend the evening by yourself, watching some sad sappy movies on your couch.

But then, while you were sitting in the cafeteria, having lunch with everyone, your phone lit up with a message.

so when r u coming over?

You glanced up from your phone to find Hyunggu cocking his head at you, one eyebrow raised.

You hated that he didn’t even question that you would come over at all. He wasn’t wrong, though. Of course you would. But after leaving you wondering for so long, maybe you could also leave him hanging just a little longer.

You shrugged at him, the movement so low-key it was barely visible, before you locked your phone and turned your attention back to the others.

Even from your peripheral vision you could see the small frown on his face, but it didn’t stay long.

playing hard to get?

You rolled your eyes.

hm?

You still felt his eyes on you. You wanted to play this game just a little longer, convince him or maybe just yourself that you had the upper hand for once. But you didn’t.

—i have one more class after lunch

A satisfied smirk appeared on Hyunggu’s face.

i’ll come get u afterwards

It wasn’t the first time that you drove home with Hyunggu this early during the day but it felt bigger now—it was Valentine’s after all. Going to his place late at night for a booty call? Sure. But spending the whole afternoon together? That kinda felt like a big deal. Still, you reminded yourself not to expect anything. It was just about sex.

At his place, Hyunggu helped you out of your jacket before slipping away into the kitchen. You took off your shoes before you followed behind to find Hyunggu getting out two wine glasses from the cabinet.

You looked at him questioningly. “Wine? Isn’t it a little early?”

He set a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon on the counter and grinned at you playfully. “It’s a special occasion, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” you replied with a grin, trying to return his banter as effortlessly as possible. But you couldn’t deny his words got your hopes up, just a little.

You watched the way his slender fingers moved around the corkscrew, opening the bottle with ease before he poured the wine.

“There you go.” 

He pushed one of the glasses over the counter towards you with a smooth movement—or so you thought. But the glass lost balance and tipped towards you. He hastily grabbed it to keep it from toppling over, but a bit of the red liquid had already spilled, staining the sleeve of your shirt.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. We can wash it.” He quickly snatched some tissues and wiped the spilled wine off the table.

“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.”

When Hyunggu noticed you weren’t angry, his expression turned to a cheeky smile. His eyes wandered from your face to your shirt and back up. 

“Well, I wanted to take that off later anyway.” He poked out his tongue and you hated how unbelievably charming it was.

You wanted to be annoyed at the stupid remark but you felt your cheeks heat up. In order to distract yourself or maybe just have something to blame it on, you raised your glass to your lips. Before you could drink though, you felt Hyunggu’s hand on yours, stopping you from drinking.

“No toast?” 

“Right,” you quickly resigned, holding out your glass to him without meeting his eyes, too afraid he’d notice your flustered state. 

But Hyunggu wasn’t having that. “You know, you’re supposed to look at people when you toast.”

“I didn’t know you valued these things.”

“It’s just polite. Besides,” he leaned in further over the counter and moved his hand to your chin, making you meet his gaze. “In Europe they say you get seven years of bad luck if you don’t.”

“Do they now?”

He raised his glass and carefully clinked it against yours, not breaking eye contact even when he took the first sip of his wine. “Not quite.”

You took a sip too. The wine tasted bold and rich on your tongue. “So, what do they say?”

“That you’ll have to suffer through seven years of bad sex. But that’s basically the same, isn’t it?” He raised his glass to his lips again but then halted in his movement. “Then again, I guess bad sex isn’t really something you have to worry about. You’re in good hands after all.”

He winked at you, a smug smile on his lips. You hated it so much. You wanted to kiss it right off his face.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to land in his bedroom, your stained shirt discarded somewhere along the way, your bodies sinking onto his mattress. At this point everything about this felt so familiar; you’d been in this bed countless times already, had been embraced by these arms and touched by these hands.

Hyunggu went slow. His every move was full of intent and you suddenly realized that you weren’t the only one who’d gotten familiar with all of this. He’d explored every inch of your body a zillion times and had taken the time to remember your reactions. He’d gotten to know you. 

He was right, your body was in good hands, even if your heart wasn’t.

Hyunggu had his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t asleep. You were laying on his chest, absentmindedly tracing the tattoo on his collar bone. Your fingers almost automatically followed the fragile branches spanning his skin and you didn’t even notice you were doing it until he chuckled softly.

He blinked one eye open to look at you. “Having fun?” 

You quickly drew back your hand, feeling caught, but Hyunggu just hummed letting his eyes fall shut again. 

“I don’t mind though,” he mumbled, his voice a little hoarse.

For a moment you did nothing, just watching his facial features. He looked at ease. Hesitantly, you reached out your hand again, your fingertips finding their way back to his warm skin.

“It’s pretty.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“Is there a meaning behind it?”

“Are you curious?”

“Maybe.”

Hyunggu opened his eyes again, looking at you with an unreadable expression. “That’s a first.”

“What do you mean?”

“That you’re curious about me. That you’re asking about me.”

Was it really? You couldn’t quite remember. Maybe you’d been too scared of showing your feelings to ever really ask him anything. You wondered what kind of impression it must have left on him. Of course, you didn’t want him to know you were in love with him. But you didn’t want him to think you didn’t like him at all either.

Before you could say anything in return though, your stomach started rumbling. Embarrassment washed over you and you tried to make it shut up by pure power of will but it wasn’t working.

Hyunggu laughed. It was the kind of laugh you adored so much, showing off his teeth and having his eyes almost closed. 

“Maybe we should have dinner?” He asked, still a delightful glint in his expression.

He slipped into some clothes and then got out sweatpants and a shirt from his closet for you to wear. On his way out of the bedroom, he gathered your clothes from the floor to throw them into the washing machine.

After dressing yourself (and absolutely not breathing in the scent of his clothes like some maniac) you followed him out. You couldn’t spot him in the combined kitchen and living room, but the door to the bathroom was left ajar and the light was on.

You sat on the couch, your legs pulled up to your chest, waiting for him to come back. 

“Wanna order something?” He yelled from the bathroom, some beeping noises in the background that you assumed belonged to the buttons of the washing machine.

“Sure.”

“Pizza?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

You heard the washing programme starting and seconds later Hyunggu came out of the bathroom, smiling when he spotted you on the couch. He sat down next to you, pulling out his phone to look up the options. Once he’d opened the menu, he inched even closer so you could take a look onto the small screen as well. It was stupid—you’d shared something way more intimate not even fifteen minutes ago. And yet, the way his shoulder was touching yours made you feel giddy.

Hyunggu turned on some music to run in the background while you waited for your food to arrive. He easily made conversation, talking about this and that, as if you were just two friends hanging out and not whatever else you actually were.

Once the food arrived, he got the rest of the wine and your glasses from the kitchen counter. It felt like a bit of an odd combination to drink his fancy wine with pizza slices that you ate directly from the box, but you kinda liked it. You couldn’t quite place it but there was just something about that moment, about sitting on his couch having cheap delivery and expensive wine and talking about everything and nothing at all—it made your chest feel warm and content. 

“Here, try some of mine,” Hyunggu said after a while, putting a slice of his pizza into your box.

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” He grinned. “Now, let me have some of yours too.” 

“So that’s what you were after from the start?”

He looked at you with big eyes and a playful pout. “But sharing is caring?”

“Fine.” With a chuckle, you picked up one of your pizza slices to place it in his box. But when you looked up again, he was leaning in, his eyes closed and his mouth opened wide. You hated how cute he looked. You almost wanted to take a picture.

You pulled yourself together though, holding out the pizza for him to take a bite. He munched on it gleefully, looking utterly satisfied. It was really bad for your heart.

When you were done eating, the washing program had finished too, so Hyunggu went to put the clothes into the tumble dryer. Once he returned, he set aside the empty pizza boxes and poured each of you another glass of wine. You were starting to feel the buzz, but it was a pleasant feeling. You leaned your head against the back of the couch, watching him move. He was really gorgeous with his soft hair and slender hands and—

“You’re really that handsome, huh? But I guess you know that,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him.

He turned his head to you, something between amusement and confusion on his face. “Are you drunk, y/n?”

“Maybe a little tipsy.” You giggled, suddenly recalling that first night at that party. “But I know a pretty thing when I see one.”

It seemed to take him a second to grasp what you were doing, but when he did he shook his head in feigned disbelief. “Are you making fun of me?”

“I would never.”

He set the wine bottle aside and moved closer to you, resting one hand against the back of the sofa to cage you in. A teasing grin was playing on his lips. “Careful, y/n, you’re skating on thin ice.”

Your heart was beating like crazy in your chest, and yet you couldn’t suppress another giggle. “Am I?”

“Very much.” His gaze flickered to your lips before it returned to your eyes. You were suddenly painfully aware again that he’d never kissed you, not after that first night together, not on your lips. But god, you wanted him to. You wanted it so badly.

Without thinking you rushed in, closing the gap, your hands instinctively finding their way around his neck. You didn’t waste another thought on hiding your feelings or whatever you’d been worried about all this time. You needed this. You kissed him as if you were starved, barely able to catch a breath in between. But he didn’t push you away. Instead he cupped your face with his free hand, pulling you even closer, as if he’d needed this just as much.

When you finally parted, you felt breathless. You looked into his dark eyes, searching for something but you weren’t quite sure what. He seemed just as disheveled as you, but he caught himself quickly, pushing back the messy strands of hair that were falling into his forehead and exchanging his surprised expression for a smirk.

“Didn’t see that coming.”

You felt unsure. Had you misinterpreted his gaze and overstepped after all? But he reciprocated, didn’t he?

“Really?” You asked, trying not to sound shaken up. 

He shrugged. “I just thought you’d rather not kiss.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I suppose for the same reason you preferred to go home at night. Keeping things strictly business?”

He tried to make it sound like a casual joke and yet it somehow irked you. You knew well what kind of arrangement this was and that you were being overly sensitive, but calling it business just hurt. 

Your discontent must have been visible on your face, because Hyunggu’s expression immediately softened. He cupped your cheeks with both hands and smiled comfortingly. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought—I thought that’s how you see it.”

“Still,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Yeah,” he hugged you against his chest, caressing your hair. “I’m sorry.”

He let himself sink back into the couch pillows, pulling you with him to rest your head in the crook of his neck. For a while you laid there just like that, nestled up against each other. His embrace felt warm and comforting and bitter sweet, because you knew you’d eventually have to let go. Except for the sound of his breathing and the steady tumbling of the laundry dryer it was silent. Just a little longer, you kept telling yourself but you weren’t sure for how much longer you were allowed. You were lying in his arms, but you already missed him.

Eventually, the steady rhythm of the laundry dryer stopped and you heard the faint beeping noise telling you the programme had finished. Maybe this was the moment to go? It was already late anyway, wasn’t it?

You lifted your head to look at him. At the movement, he opened his eyes.

“The laundry’s done,” you whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Should I leave?”

He eyed you for a moment. “Do you want to?”

No. But was it okay to say that? 

You swallowed. “I don’t know.” 

“Then I guess you’ll have to stay until you make up your mind.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

He let his eyelids close again. “Because it is.” 

You weren’t so sure about that, but you didn’t argue. Instead you tugged your face into the crook of his neck again, taking in his scent and listening to the sound of his breathing.

At some point you must have fallen asleep, because you woke up to the pattering of raindrops against the windows. It had gotten colder or maybe the warmth that had come with the slight buzz of the wine had just worn off. You snuggled closer to Hyunggu, trying to get some of his warmth.

You’d thought that he was asleep too, but when you moved he pulled you in more, his hands running over your arms to keep you warm.

“Are you cold?”

“Mhm.” You nodded.

“Let’s go to bed?”

He’d invited you to his bed before, but never like this. Not without expectations. There was no other meaning to that question, no hidden intention in his voice.  It almost scared you a little.

Still, you nodded and reluctantly got up. You stood by the couch and waited awkwardly while Hyunggu turned off the lights in the living room. Of course you knew your way around his flat, but just going to his bedroom by yourself made you feel self conscious. Probably noticing your awkward behavior, Hyunggu took your hand and gently pulled you with him. He got into his bed and opened his arms for you, as if it was a given that you’d settle into his embrace. You did. Hyunggu pulled up the blanket around both of you and rested his chin on the crown of your hair.

“Sleep well, y/n.”

“You too.”

You’d woken up in Hyunggu’s arms so often by now, you'd almost gotten used to it. Almost. Somehow, despite the familiarity it still had the butterflies in your stomach acting up. 

Hyunggu was still asleep beside you, his arm wrapped around your waist. You reached for your phone on the nightstand, careful not to wake him up in the process. There were some messages from Hongseok and then a bunch of notifications in the group chat, from messages about when and where to meet up, to the one or the other sent in the middle of the night, when the party had already been in full swing. The Valentine’s party. Somehow it sunk in now, that you’d basically spent the whole day with Hyunggu. Instead of going to that party he went to every year, he’d met up with you. On Valentine’s day. Sure, you supposed it had been convenient for him. Why go to a party and find someone to hook up with, when he already had someone at his every beck and call? But you didn’t just have sex. You had spent the day together, drinking wine, having dinner, talking, cuddling… Was this all still part of that whole friends with benefits arrangement? Or was it more? Or was Hyunggu just somehow trying to keep the friends part of it alive as well? You weren’t sure. You didn’t dare to hope for more and yet every time you met him, you were left more confused than before.

To distract yourself, you opened the messages from Hongseok. He’d sent them around midnight and you wondered if he’d been drunk.

The party is fun :) It’s sad that you couldn’t make it :) 

And then, like an hour later:

it’D be more fun wit hyou here

You had to chuckle to yourself. He’d surely feel embarrassed about these when he’d wake up today.

Just when you were thinking about what to reply to Hongseok, Hyunggu stirred awake. 

“Did we miss anything?” He asked, when he spotted the phone in your hand.

You shrugged. “Seems they had a good time yesterday. Wooseok and Yuto went too actually. And apparently Changgu got lost in between, but Shinwon found him later comforting some girl that got cheated on or something—I think we should ask them in person next time.”

Hyunggu chuckled at your brief summary of what you’ve picked up on from the messages in the groupchat. “Maybe we should.” 

He nuzzled into your neck while you started typing out a message.

“Are you replying to them?”

“Hm? Ah, no, I’m texting Hongseok.”

You weren’t sure if it was your imagination, but you thought you felt him tense up a little.

“What’s he saying?”

“He just said it was fun and that it was a pity I didn’t go.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think it’s a pity?”

You would have expected him to have a smirk on his lips, but when you turned to face him you were met with an oddly serious gaze.

“No,” you answered genuinely, feeling that it wasn’t the right time to tease him.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “No?”

“No.” You paused for a moment. “And you?”

His smile grew wider now. “Not at all.”

He brushed his nose against the skin below your ear. “In fact, I enjoyed yesterday so much, I wouldn’t mind continuing.”

His breath felt ticklish, making you giggle. “Is that so?”

“Mhm.” He left kisses on your skin while his hands found the way to your hips, thumbs brushing over the bare skin under the hem of your (his) shirt. “Doesn’t that sound like a really good idea?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah,” he hummed. “We’ve established that before. And that you like it, too.”

“I wish I didn’t,” you replied, maybe drawing just a little too close to the truth.

You felt his laugh against your skin. “Well, I’m glad you do.”

He pushed up the fabric of your shirt, exposing your skin just to cover it with bites and kisses a second later. Your fingers latched onto his hair, like they’d done so many times before, burying themselves in the dark strands. When one of his hands dipped under the waistband of the sweatpants you were wearing, you couldn’t suppress the gasp escaping your throat. Your fingers instinctively tightened their grip on his hair, earning you a satisfied hum. 

“I like when you wear my clothes,” he whispered into your skin, a smug grin on his lips. “But let’s get these off, hm?”

You still hadn’t left his bed at noon, your head tucked into his neck while you were bathing in the afterglow. 

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” You mumbled after a while, no real intention behind the question.

“I guess so.”

“Maybe we should get up?”

“Maybe.”

“Can I borrow your shower?”

“Depends,” he grinned teasingly. “Can I join you?”

You shook your head with a chuckle. “Are you never satisfied?”

“Is that a no?”

“I’m tired. Maybe another time.”

“Hm,” he hummed in reply, no trace of disappointment in his voice. “We can also take a bath instead?”

You propped yourself up to look at him properly, searching his eyes for any kind of mischief. “No hidden intentions?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Unless having an excuse to use that lavender bath salt I got recently falls under hidden intentions.”

You examined him a second longer, not quite sure if you could trust his words but then you nodded. “Okay.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

He told you to wait while he slipped out of bed and ran the bath. You weren’t left to your own devices for long though; Hyunggu soon returned humming happily. He wrapped you into a fuzzy white bathrobe that you’d spotted in his bathroom before, and pushed you through the door.

The bathroom smelled like lavender and chamomile and steam was rising up from the tub. Hyunggu had turned on some soft jazz mix that was coming out of the little speaker he’d set onto his washing machine. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his choice of music.

“You’re such a snob, you know that, right?”

He didn’t seem offended at all. “It’s called creating ambience.”

You slipped out of the bathrobe and into the warm water. You didn’t give your body the time to adjust to the temperature before you sat down, in order to feel a little less exposed. The heat pricked at your skin, but it was bearable. Hyunggu took off his clothes too and you pulled your legs closer to your chest to make space for him. Instead of sitting across from you though, he got in behind you. His arms found your shoulders and pushed them back gently, making you rest against his chest.

You closed your eyes, letting the warm water relax your tired limbs. You’d made fun of his music earlier, but the calming melodies honestly weren’t so bad.

“This is nice,” you commented after a while.

Hyunggu chuckled and you felt the vibration against your back. “Taking a bath?”

“That too. But I meant the music.”

“And here you were calling me a snob not even ten minutes ago.” He didn’t actually sound annoyed with you.

“My apologies.”

“It’s one of my favorite artists. The song before was his too.”

“Mhm, I can see why you like him. His music is good.”

For a moment you just listened to the soft tunes before Hyunggu spoke up again.

“He’ll actually have a concert here soon.”

“Oh, are you going?”

“I was planning to.”

You could picture Hyunggu at that concert so well, getting lost in the music and probably rambling on and on about how inspiring it was afterwards. Just thinking about it made you feel a little jealous of whoever would get to see that side of him.

It got quiet again, but then Hyunggu broke the silence once more. His voice sounded just a little tense when he did. “You can come along?” 

“Huh?”

“You said you liked the music. So I thought maybe you’d want to come along?”

“I—,” you swallowed, a little overwhelmed and surprised by the sudden invitation. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

He hummed in reply, and you thought you heard a smile in his voice. “Cool.”

During lunch on Monday, the other’s filled you in on the party shenanigans and it sounded like they really did have a lot of fun. For a brief moment you wondered if you should have gone after all, but then you remembered where you’d been instead and discarded the thought. No matter how  fun it'd been, could it really have been better than waking up with Hyunggu? You had your doubts.

“Kinda interesting though,” Changgu said after a while, his gaze wandering between you and Hyunggu conspiratorially. “That neither of you showed at the party. If I didn’t know better, I could have almost thought the two of you had been on a Valentine’s date.”

You felt your breath get stuck in your throat, trying to cram out some believable excuse, but your mind was wiped blank. In your panic, your gaze shot over to Hyunggu, sending out a silent cry for help, but he didn’t seem as worried.

Just when you wanted to say something after all, Changgu broke out laughing. “Seriously, that’d be such a funny turn of events. Jokes aside though, it’s a pity you didn’t come.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled awkwardly. “Seems like we really missed out.”

You thought you felt someone’s gaze on you, but you ignored it, grateful when the topic was changed and you were out of the woods.

When you walked across the campus to get to your next lecture after lunch, Hongseok came jogging up next to you.

“Y/n.”

“Oh, you also go this way? Sorry I didn’t know, I would have waited up on you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by a thoughtful frown. “I probably shouldn’t ask this but uhm—Changgu was right, wasn’t he?”

“What do you mean?”

“The reason you missed the party.”

You forced out a laugh, ready to wave him off but when you saw the way he looked at you with so much sincerity, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie. 

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

It was clear he’d expected to be right, but he still seemed a little disappointed. “I wouldn’t. But—are you dating?”

You avoided his gaze. The question hurt. You’d been in a good mood all morning, almost like you were walking on clouds. The weekend had been pretty close to perfect after all, letting you dwell on delusions of love and romance. Now you were suddenly confronted with reality again. The reality where you could fall asleep and wake up and take a bath with Hyunggu all you wanted, but none of that meant anything. Because at the end of the day you weren’t dating. He wasn’t in love with you.

You felt something akin to shame bubble up inside of you when you replied. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

Hongseok nodded slowly. “I see. Just—don’t get hurt.”

When you met his eyes then, there was something consoling in them and it made your heart feel heavy. You knew he meant it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” He awkwardly patted your upper arm, before nodding towards one of the buildings on campus. “My class is over there so I’ll get going. See you around?”

“See you around.”

Hongseok’s words kept circling in your mind like a constant warning. It was already too late for that though. You should have never agreed to any of this, but it wasn’t like you could just undo it.  You were already in this mess, having left behind every border you’d ever created. And now that you knew what it felt like to have Hyunggu this close, you couldn’t bring yourself to create distance again.

Yet, the odd feeling in your stomach wouldn’t leave. It was one thing to know yourself, that you were setting yourself up to get your heart broken. It was different to have someone else tell you.

It was still there on the day of the concert. You pushed it aside as best as you could, focusing on getting ready instead. You kept yourself busy, changing your outfit about a zillion times, just to go back to your first choice in the end. You’d never been to a jazz concert before so you were just hoping that you weren’t over- nor underdressed. Before you had the time to worry your head about it more, you received a text from Hyunggu, telling you that he was waiting for you downstairs.

He was sitting in his car, scrolling through his phone. When you opened the passenger door he looked up at you with a dazzling smile, nudging the black framed glasses on his nose into place.

“Hey, y/n.” 

“Hey.” You let yourself fall into the passenger’s seat.

“You look good.” He started the engine of his car, turning his head to look out the rear window while he backed out of the parking lot.

You swallowed, reminding yourself not to get into your head about this. “Right back at you.”

He huffed a laugh. “Thanks.”

The ride to the venue was relaxed, soft music coming from the speakers that Hyunggu couldn’t help but hum along to. Whenever he stopped at a redlight he started doing tiny little dance moves in his seat, glancing over to you to prompt you to follow along. It was impossible to resist him, when he was looking at you like that, so you let yourself be swept along with a giggle. Momentarily you forgot all about your worries, allowing yourself to just indulge in the moment and feel happy.

The concert was in a small brick-lined hall, maybe an old factory building. It was dimly illuminated by old-fashioned light bulbs and decked out with small round tables and mismatched wooden chairs.

Hyunggu pulled you along to a table close to the stage, before getting drinks for both of you. He’d asked if you wanted wine, but since he wasn’t going to drink himself you would have felt weird. So, instead he soon returned with two glasses of ice tea, prettily arranged with mint leaves and lemon slices.

The two of you talked a little, but as soon as the artist appeared, you got quiet, focusing on the stage. Or at least Hyunggu was focusing on the stage. You couldn’t help yourself, your gaze kept wandering over to him. He got so immersed in the music, watching the performance  in awe  and swaying along to the melodies. It was exactly what you’d pictured, but at the same time it was so much more. The music was good and you enjoyed the concert, but what you enjoyed most was being able to see Hyunggu like this. 

On the way back to his car, Hyunggu was bubbling with energy, cheerfully rambling about how good the concert was. He kept gesturing as he talked, turning around to you excitedly in between. He seemed so happy and content and getting to witness that made your heart feel so full, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it’d just bursted.

He was still talking on the ride, but you didn’t mind. You liked to hear him point out small details that had completely gone past you. Time seemed to be rushing by and before you knew it you were suddenly in the parking lot in front of your apartment complex. Somehow you felt disappointed. You hadn’t really talked about anything beforehand, but a part of you had just assumed he’d take you back to his place. But of course, this hadn’t been a date nor were you here as his friend with benefits either. Just as a friend.

You sat in the passenger seat, not moving. Your eyes were fixed on the dark street outside the windshield. You knew it was time to get up and leave. Thank him for the nice evening and tell him you’d see him at lunch or something.

But you didn’t want to go.

“Everything okay?” Hyunggu asked eventually. You felt his gaze on you.

“Yeah, just—Do you maybe—,” You cleared your throat before you turned around to face him. “Do you want to come in for a bit?”

Hyunggu looked genuinely surprised at your proposition and you were so close to take it back, tell him to forget about it all and flee the scene.

“Are you sure?” He asked, interrupting your thoughts of escaping. His eyes were searching your face, as if to figure out if you really meant it.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

The way up to your apartment was oddly quiet. You’d always been nervous about being with Hyunggu, but somehow this was different. You didn’t just invite anyone into your home. And you’d made that rule for yourself not to invite Hyunggu specifically. Yet, you were leading him up the stairwells to your tiny, chaotic studio apartment. 

Your hand was trembling when you typed in the code to unlock your door. You got it wrong twice, causing the lock to make a small buzzing noise and blink in red, which  did nothing to ease your nerves.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, laughing awkwardly. “Don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“Don’t worry,” Hyunggu’s voice was gentle. If he’d noticed your shaking hands he didn’t say anything. “Take your time.”

The door finally unlocked on the third attempt and you stepped inside. You didn’t mind the way you lived all that much, but somehow showing your home to Hyunggu made you feel vulnerable. It wasn’t as big and neat as his apartment and you wondered what he’d think about it. You were overcome with the urge to apologize for it, the size, the mess, everything. But when you turned around to Hyunggu, he was looking around in wonder, a small smile on his lips.

“I like your flat.”

“Huh?”

He hummed. “It feels really you.”

“Thank you.”

“No,” he grinned, his eyes settling on you instead. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you quickly looked away. “Do you uhm—do you want to have some wine? I think I still have some…”

“Are you sure you’re okay with me drinking?”

You turned to him in confusion. He stepped a little closer, invading your personal space. 

“You know—” He let his fingers ghost over your jaw. “I won’t be able to drive back tonight if I drink now. Are you okay with that?”

You swallowed. Your mouth felt impossibly dry. “Yeah,” you choked out. “That’s fine.”

Hyunggu smiled, leaning in even closer until his lips brushed against your temple. “I’d love some wine then.”

With hasty movements you stumbled to your small kitchenette, getting the bottle of wine and two glasses from the cupboard. Hyunggu watched you in silent amusement and you were overly aware of his eyes on you.

You fumbled with the corkscrew but somehow things wouldn’t go your way. It kept slipping and with every second you grew more nervous about all of this. How stupid, really. You’d been with Hyunggu so often already, so why couldn’t you calm down now?

You suddenly felt him step behind you, his fingers wrapping around yours to stop your clumsy movements. 

“Let me?” He gently took the bottle and the corkscrew out of your hands. “How about you turn on some music in the meantime, hm?” 

His voice was so close to your ear, it sent shivers down your spine. You nodded, letting him handle the wine while you got out your speaker and turned on a playlist you thought Hyunggu would enjoy.

Unlike you, Hyunggu didn’t struggle to uncork the bottle and smoothly poured both of you wine. 

“There you go.” He handed you one of the glasses before holding out his own for a toast. His dark eyes on you made you want to look away, but you didn’t. Instead, you held his gaze as you clinked your glasses together and took a sip of the red liquid.

“Not avoiding eye contact this time, I see?” 

You shrugged, trying not to sound too nervous. “Didn’t want to risk anything after what you said last time.”

“Very wise.” He cocked his head, stepping a little closer.

He raised his glass to take another sip of his wine and your eyes automatically followed the movement. You couldn’t tear your gaze away, even when he lowered his glass again, his tongue darting out to lick at the corner of his lips.

Hyunggu grinned when he noticed your stare. “You offered the wine, but why do I feel like you’d rather skip the drinks?”

Feeling caught, you quickly looked away and took a big sip from your glass. You might have been a little too hasty though, choking on the wine and coughing awkwardly.

“Hey, take it slow.” With a smooth movement, Hyunggu took your glass away and set both drinks onto the kitchen counter. He  cupped your face, his eyes on your lips as his thumb brushed over them. “We have all night, don’t we?”

You felt like choking all over again. 

“Yeah.” Your gaze wandered to his mouth. You leaned in a little, thinking Hyunggu would close the gap between the two of you. When he didn’t you pulled back again, looking up to his eyes with uncertainty. Hyunggu let out a small chuckle, clearly amused by your shakiness. 

You frowned. “Don’t tease—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Hyunggu pulled you in, brushing his lips against yours softly before he deepened the kiss. It was all you could do to melt into him, your hands clinging onto the fabric of his shirt.

He grinned, briefly breaking the kiss. “Eager, aren’t we?”

“Shut up.”

Hyunggu laughed, slowly walking you backwards until you stumbled into the edge of your bed and fell onto the mattress. 

“Make me.” He raised his eyebrows, a challenging gleam in his eyes.

You hesitated for a second, just looking at him. But then you reached out, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him down with you and crushing your lips together.

Having Hyunggu in your bed was weird. It didn’t feel real to have him there, his head resting on your pillows. You couldn’t stop staring at him, trying to ingrain this moment into your memories.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No, nothing.”

“Hm,” he smiled. “Thank you for today.”

“Since when are we saying thank you?”

Hyunggu laughed, shaking his head. “Not for that. Though,” he threw you a cheeky wink, “I’m grateful for that too.”

He inched a little closer, his nose lightly brushing yours. “I meant the concert. Thank you for coming to the concert with me.”

“No. Thank you for taking me.” You halted for a moment, wondering if you were overstepping, but then you continued anyway. “We should do these kinds of things more often.”

“So, concerts are okay, but movies aren’t?” His voice sounded teasing, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a little hurt in there too.

“Maybe I was wrong.”

“Mhm,” his lips ghosted over yours. “I think so too.”

You just cuddled for a while, your lips coming together in lazy kisses from time to time, your legs intertwined under the blankets.

“You think I could borrow your shower?” He eventually broke the silence.

“Uh—I mean sure—”

He examined you for a moment, clearly questioning your evasive reply. “Am I overstaying my welcome?”

“No, it’s not that,” you shook your head. “My shower is just a bit uh, quirky? So, it can be tricky to get it to work I guess.” 

He chuckled. “You can just come along and show me?”

“I think you’re thinking my shower is bigger than it is.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Surprisingly enough, you did manage to squeeze into your tiny shower booth together. You fumbled with your showerhead the way you always did, accidentally drenching both of you in ice cold water along the way, but you eventually got it to work. You’d been so overly aware of how shabby your bathroom and your whole apartment was in comparison to the flat Hyunggu lived in, yet he didn’t seem to mind it at all. He simply laughed in amusement when the cold water hit his skin and it made you ease up too. 

You’d never hated your apartment, but now that Hyunggu was there with you, you felt like you genuinely liked it for once, broken faucet and all. 

Your elbows kept bumping into the walls with every move you made and you couldn’t stop yourselves from giggling everytime it happened.

“Here, let me,” Hyunggu said with a gleeful smile when you reached for the shampoo bottle.

He squeezed some into his hand and started massaging it into your scalp. When he was done, he moved to squeeze out some more for himself, but you took the bottle back before he could.

“Let me,” you echoed his words with a grin, reaching up to do the same for him. 

He watched you with a fond expression, while your fingers buried themselves in his wet hair. 

“Don’t make that face,” you complained, self-consciously averting your gaze.

“What face?” 

Like you’re about to kiss me, you thought. “I don’t know,” you said. 

“Is this better?”

“What?” 

The second your eyes met his again, he leaned in, closing the gap to kiss you. His arms found your waist, holding you steady, while your own hands wandered from his hair to the back of his neck. You kissed him over and over again, until you started to feel cold, goosebumps forming on your skin, and even then you kept kissing him some more.

“Maybe,” you whispered breathlessly once you finally parted, “Maybe we should get washed up.”

An equally breathless chuckle slipped past his lips. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything about the movie date?” Your best friend was looking at you with a pout, before taking a giant bite of her sandwich.

The two of you were sitting on the stairs outside the cafeteria. It was fairly warm today, and if you didn’t know better you would have thought it was already April or May and not the end of February.

“There simply wasn’t much to say?” You supplied with a shrug. 

“How could that be? You were getting along so well at the dinner and then even went on a date and then you suddenly never talked about him again? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened.”

“So you don’t like him?”

“I don’t know,” you took a sip from your smoothie. “I mean, I like him, but not—”

“What are you talking about?” Changgu suddenly interrupted, before he sat down next to your friend. The others were coming over too, Shinwon and Hongseok trailing a little behind as they were immersed in a conversation.

Her gaze briefly wandered over to Hongseok, before she shook her head. “Nothing much.”

“Doesn’t sound very convincing,” Hyunggu suddenly chimed in, plopping onto the stairs next to you. 

Without asking he leaned in to steal a sip from your smoothie, only grinning sheepishly when you pushed him away.

Changgu watched the scene with a raised eyebrow. “Have you always been this close?”

“We’re not!” you hastily declared, the same moment Hyunggu replied with a simple “Yeah.”

You threw him a warning glance but he just tilted his head. “Are we not?”

“I mean—,” you swallowed. “I guess?”

Instead of a reply, Hyunggu smiled and lightly nudged you in the side before stealing yet another sip from your smoothie.

When you said your goodbyes a little later to get to your lecture, Hyunggu naturally stood up as well, sauntering next to you, his bag casually slung over his shoulder.

“Wanna meet later?”

You turned to look at him but didn’t stop walking. “Today?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. Later today.”

“Uh, it’d be kinda late though?”

“I don’t mind. How late is late?”

“Not sure. I mean I have my last class in the evening and then I’d still have to eat too…”

“We could eat together?”

You looked at him in disbelief for a second. “Are you sure?”

“We could cook something. I can get groceries beforehand and then come pick you up. Why not?”

Because that sounds like a date. 

“Uh, yeah, okay.”

“At your place?”

 You raised an eyebrow. “My place? To cook? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t even have a proper kitchen, Hyunggu. The stove is literally in my bedroom.”

Hyunggu shrugged. “It’s cozy.”

You nodded slowly, not really understanding why he’d willingly come to your place when his place was just objectively better. “Okay then.”

“Perfect.” He beamed at you, before he turned to leave. “I’ll be off then. See you tonight!”

As promised, Hyunggu picked you up later that night. It was already dark but you still spotted his car easily in the lot. You supposed after all these times you rode with him, it wasn’t really that surprising. On the way to your flat he asked you about how classes went and you rambled a bit about it. He hummed from time to time to indicate that he was listening, asking small questions in between. He told you about his day too, said he’d looked up a pasta recipe to cook tonight.

“I bought wine too.” He threw you a quick glance, before he focused back on the road. “But no worries if you’d rather not drink, it’s a weekday after all. Just thought it’d go well with the dish.”

“No, wine sounds good.”

His eyes scrunched up in a smile. “Great.”

Cooking by yourself already posed a challenge with your tiny kitchenette. But cooking with two people felt close to impossible. You were standing at the stove, heating up the water for the pasta while Hyunggu was standing right next to you, chopping vegetables on your tiny countertop. His arm kept lightly bumping into you as he moved and you almost wondered if he did it on purpose.

“Stop that,” you eventually giggled, nudging him.

“Don’t know what you mean.” He grinned, scooting a little closer. 

“C’mon, you know exactly what I mean.”

“Nope. I’m not doing anything,” He inched closer again, his shoulder pressed up against yours “There’s just no space here.”

“Hyunggu, please, the stove is on.” you scolded, but there was no bite to it and you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. “It’s dangerous.”

He glanced over to the pot, steam rising up from it already. “You’re right. We should get you out of the danger zone then.” He grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the stove and onto his other side, barely an inch separating the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat, a feeling of anticipation spreading in your stomach.

“Better?” He pressed a brief kiss on your nose and turned back to his vegetables, leaving you in the lurch, waiting for nothing.

Once dinner was done, you sat down at your tiny kitchen table that barely had enough space to fit both your plates and glasses. Your knees bumped into his under the table, but neither of you really minded. The pasta was way better than you expected considering the chaotic cooking process and Hyunggu was right, the wine fitted well. Still, you couldn’t focus on the food that well, and for once it wasn’t Hyunggu’s doing.

“You can take a look, you know? I don’t mind,” he eventually suggested when your phone vibrated for the nth time with a text message.

You smiled apologetically before quickly checking your texts—just to be confronted with a zillion messages from your best friend, who seemingly wasn’t done with the conversation from this noon yet. You let out a sigh before muting your phone and setting it aside.

“Everything okay?” Hyunggu looked at you, worry visible in his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good just—,” you sighed again. “She’s really hung up on the idea of me and Hongseok and keeps asking me about whether I’ll go on another date with him and stuff.”

Hyunggu suddenly looked a little tense. “Will you? Go on another date with him?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

Hyunggu wasn’t averting his eyes and you couldn’t quite read his gaze. “Don’t go on another date with him.”

“I—I won’t.”

“Really?” There was something like relief in his voice.

“No.”

“Why not?”

An awkward laugh slipped past your lips. “Does it matter?”

“It matters.” Hyunggu eyed you earnestly. 

You couldn’t hold his gaze, staring onto your plate instead. “I just don’t see him that way...”

“Is there—Is there no other reason? At all?”  

“What about you then? Why do you care about this so much?”

When you timidly met his gaze then, he almost looked hurt. “Do you really not know?”

“I don’t.”

“I just—I just can’t bear the thought of you with someone else.”

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew what he was implying. But you couldn’t wrap your head around it. It simply couldn’t be true. You were …you. And he was everything.

“Why?” The question came out so breathlessly it was barely audible.

A bitter chuckle escaped Hyunggu’s throat. “You really need me to say it?”

You nodded. 

He sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Remember what you said when we started all this? The one who falls in love first loses? I lost, y/n. I lost.”

“No,” you laughed, more out of disbelief than anything else. “How could you—how?”

“How couldn’t I?”

“You’re lying,” you croaked out.

“Do you want me to be lying?”

No. More than anything you wanted it to be true. But it just seemed impossible. Your chest felt so tight, you were barely able to breathe. Tears were welling up in your eyes and you weren’t even sure why. Somehow everything was just a little too much.

“But you—Are you sure?” your voice sounded choked up. “I’m just me.”

“Mhm,” a soft smile spread on his lips. “I’m well aware.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense to me, though.”

You shook your head, unable to really comprehend this whole situation. A few tears had slipped away, running down your cheeks and you wiped at them with the sleeve of your sweater.

“Hey,” Hyunggu left his chair to crouch down in front of you and take your hands in his. “Don’t cry, hm?”

He reached up, his thumb softly brushing away the tears. “It’s okay.”

For a moment it got quiet between the two of you, and he just sat there looking at you, holding on to you.

“You mean it, right?” You interrupted the silence after a while, followed by a small sniff.

Hyunggu smiled. “Yeah, I mean it.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He tilted his head. “So, what do you think?”

“Huh?” 

“Do you want to date? Like, seriously date?”

You stared at him, caught off guard with the question. In your emotional tumult it had somehow not occurred to you, that you were supposed to have an opinion on all of this. 

When you stayed silent, something like insecurity flashed through his eyes. “Is that a no?”

You shook your head, slowly at first before the movement got more hasty. “No.” You swallowed. “It’s not a no.”

“So it’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

Hyunggu smiled at you and there was so much glee in his eyes it made your heart feel like it could burst any moment. 

His joy was infectious, making a big smile spread on your lips as well, as he got up and pulled you to your feet and right into his arms. He hugged you tightly, slowly swaying both of you from side to side.

“Somehow, I’m just really happy,” he mumbled into your hair.

You wrapped your arms around him and breathed in his scent. “Yeah. Me too.”

You laid in his arms later that night. His warm eyes were on you, like they’d been all evening. As if he simply couldn’t stop looking at you.

“You know, maybe losing isn’t so bad,” he whispered, his hand tracing over your temple. “If I get to have this.”

A smile spread on your lips. “Do you want me to let you in on a secret?”

“Hm?”

“I had already lost long before the game even started.”

“Eh?” Surprise flashed over his face. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned before he leaned in, his lips brushing over yours. “I like these kinds of secrets.”

Masterlist

#it's done it's done it's done can you believe #not chaptered bc i felt it didn't fit the flow of the story so i apologize to everyone who has to deal with this long af post now #kino x reader #hyunggu x reader #pentagon x reader #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #pentagon headcanons #pentagon reactions #kino fluff #hyunggu fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop headcanons #pentagon #pentagon drabble #pentagon fic #kebbis.writing

[blizzardfluffykpop]

By My Side

Summary: Your journey to the top and the man who supported you the whole way. 

Long Fic (Oneshot)

Fluff, Angst? (Mainly Racing Anxiety), Slight Suggestive Parts, Strangers to Lovers au, Opposites attract au?, Idol au

Word Count: 19,000

Idol!Hyunggu (Kino) X Racecar Driver!Reader

[Features: The rest of OT9]

[Long A/n: There is the barest of information about entries vs starting in Formula 1. The only information I was able to gain about it was researching women who’ve raced in the sport. Only two of the five ever got to race (vv sad news), so for entries vs starting it will be speculation but based off of the real races! Also Pentagon’s scheduling is going to be a little off, but it’s so it works for the story tbh.]

------

You’ve known since you were five that you wanted to be a Formula One racer. And when you were eight, your parents started taking you karting with them. It didn’t take long before you started taking karting lessons. You even taught classes to younger kids before gaining entry into Formula Three. As you practiced day in and day out, you knew there were no guarantees of getting into Formula One. But you never gave up, and maybe with some help from Kang Hyunggu, you finally obtained your FIA super license. 

You were twenty-three when you first met Kang Hyunggu by chance. And for some reason, the two of you hit it off instantly. It didn’t make sense because you were from two very different worlds. With him being an idol singer and you being a racecar driver, you were polar opposites. But you both shared the same love for coffee and flowers and had the same music taste. It started from there, with small meets at a coffee shop. At first, both of your managers managed your meetups. Something else you both had in common. But after a year of meeting each other and getting to know one another. Your managers had let up after they ensured you both knew the consequences if the public were to find out. But at the time, what would it matter to the world? You were just friends getting to know each other with what little time you had. 

You guys were lying on your bed in your apartment when he asked, “Do you think we’ll ever get our first win?” And you smiled, “Of course. Maybe it’s from a Universe's perspective at this point, but I feel that come this time next year, you’ll have gained one.” He smiled and thanked you, and you asked, “Do you think I’ll ever make it out of Formula Three?” He nodded, “With your talent, there’s no doubt.” You pouted, "How would you know?" And he continued, “What do you say if I come to one of your races, manager approved, of course, and I see for myself?” You smiled, “It’d be nice to have someone other than my crew cheering me on.”

After you both received approval, he was able to watch you race. It was slightly nerve-wracking having the guy you had a crush on watch one of your races, but you took it in stride. He walked you to your racecar, encouraging you the whole way. When you arrived at the garage, he said, “If you win, I have something important to tell you.” You raise your eyebrow at him, “And if I don’t?” He shrugs, “I guess you’ll never know.” 

For your past two seasons, your top place was fifth, and even that was an incredible feat for you. But with a good qualifying round, you gained pole position, earning you an advantage. You gulped as you watched the lights go and gunned it. Maybe it was because you wanted to know what he was going to tell you. Or perhaps it was sheer dumb luck. But somehow, you had not only won that race. You had also won it by a large margin, something you had been trying to do since you started racing.

You raced your victory lap and came back to the starting position. You gasped as you realized you only had one more criterion left to meet to gain a super license. You hopped out of your car to see your team readily congratulating you. And you cheered with them as they lifted you into the air. When you came down and hopped over the fence, you saw Hyunggu holding a flower bouquet. You blushed as he handed it to you, “What did you want to tell me?” You asked as you thanked him for the flowers and brought him into a hug. He smiled, “That you look cute in your outfit.” You shook your head as you blushed. Before you could ask him if that’s really what he wanted to tell you. They rushed you into an interview room, “Are you going to do your last requirement to gain your super license, Mx. (L/n)?” You nodded, “Yes, I’m going to go onwards and complete the safety regulations test at the end of this season.” They nod, satisfied with your answer. Before they could ask you more questions, your manager came in and took you out to treat everyone to a nice dinner. 

As you sat around the table, everyone chatting, the engineer turned to you. He smiled and announced to the table, “You’ve grown so much as a racer over the past two years I’ve gotten to know you. Are you ready for the big leagues, kid?” You looked at your plate, “I believe so.” The table laughed, “You’ll do fine!” And they were right. After years of studying up on the quiz, you passed it with flying colors. And Hyunggu was right there to congratulate you, holding another bouquet. 

You accepted the flowers as he pulled you into a hug. You held him tightly against you, your emotions getting to you as you shook with tears. And he went, “You did it. I knew you could.” You thanked him, and he said, “Let’s celebrate.” You nodded, and he took you both out to a little diner. After you order your meals, he tells you, “I think it’s time I tell you the important thing I wanted to tell you.” You pout, “So you didn’t think I was cute in my outfit.” He shook his head with a laugh, “I thought you were the cutest. But that wasn’t all I wanted to tell you.” You nodded for him to go on, “I like you a lot. And not just in a friendly type of way.” You pinched yourself as you said, “This has to be a dream.” And he shook his head, “No.” And you smiled as you grabbed his hand and interlocked your fingers, “I like you a lot, too. Do you want to consider this our first date?” He smiled, “I’d like that.” 

You finished up the racing season and relaxed a bit. But you didn’t know how much you were really up against. After all, no one ever mentions the people who don’t qualify for Formula One. It’s only about those who do. And when you put your name down and saw the list of other candidates. Who were just as hungry as you to be on the track.... It dawned on you that this may be harder than you believed. You told Hyunggu of your worries, and he held you close as he eased your mind. He assured you that you were just as capable as the other racers behind the wheel, if not more. It soothed your nerves and made you practice more for it. Whenever he wasn’t at practice, he was watching you in the stands, getting your time lower and lower. You just had to be a quarter of a second faster than your competitors. And you were doing everything to make that happen. 

You finished after eight hours of practice to see Hyunggu racing down the stands to greet you. His binoculars were hanging around his neck, and you giggled, “How long have you been watching?” He smiles, “A few hours.” You smiled as you pecked his cheek, “Thanks.” He shrugs, “You’re doing fantastic out there. You got this.” You shrugged, “I’m not so sure, but I’ll continue at it until I am.” He nods before asking, “Do you wanna watch me practice?” You agree, and he leads you by the hand to his car, “It’s weird to be in a slow-moving vehicle after eight hours.” He looks over at you with wide eyes, “You’ve been out here since six a.m.?” You nod, “I couldn’t stand to be away. You’re the same way when you practice.” He laughs, “Yeah, I guess we have that in common too.” You shake your head at him as he shifts out of park and drives to the company. 

He has you grab lunch in the cafeteria before leading you to the practice room. “(Y/n)! It’s so good to see you again!” Hongseok greets you cheerily, leading the rest of them into an uproar. You laugh as you greet them and walk over to the bench seat. “I’m just here to watch and eat my lunch~” Shinwon laughs, “You sure it’s not just to watch Kino?” You laugh, “You caught me.” Hyunggu winks at you through the mirror, and they start practicing some of their older songs. As you finish up your meal and throw away the trash, their choreographer comes in. “Hey guys! I’ve finalized some new moves for your new title and wanted to go over them with you guys.” You hold back your gasp as you realize you’re an outsider and fan getting to watch part of the demo for the first time. 

Hyunggu comes over to grab a drink of water before they start, and you ask, “Should I cover my eyes? I don’t want to offend or worry the choreographer.” He shakes his head, “Baby, I watch you practice new tricks on the track all the time. It’s okay.” You nod, and he kisses the top of your head before walking back. The choreographer reviews what they’ve learned and the new moves he is implementing. And you watch in awe as they move around the room. When they’ve finished the initial learning, they take a quick break. Then, the choreographer calls, “Let’s put this to music, guys!” 

He clicks a button on a remote, and they all start dancing as he oversees. As the music filters through the room, you can’t believe your ears. It sounds so delightful, and the dance seemed to encapsulate the melancholy feeling of letting someone go. As they started correcting things, you couldn’t help but wonder what inspired them to write it. When they finally finish up, you give a round of applause. The choreographer thanked you as he walked out of the room. 

Hyunggu slides down the wall beside your seat and asks, “So, what do you think?” “Well, the song is heartbreakingly beautiful, and the dance so far? It’s amazing! I can’t wait to see the finalized version.” The others laugh, and Hui lays on the floor and cheers, “You and me both!” You smile as you ask, “Who wrote it?” And he answers again, “Wooseok, Nathan, and me.” You nod and wish to ask him why, but feeling how heart-wrenching it was. You decide it was better to guess. You look at the clock to see it’s six and yawn, “Do you guys want to get dinner?” That seemed to bring their spirits up as they cheered and got ready. 

“Are you sure you’re not tired from your long day?” Hyunggu says, looking at the time. And you shake your head, “I gained my energy back while watching you dance.” You tell him, finishing off your sentence with a yawn. And he shakes his head, “Says the one who’s yawning. You can nap in my car.” You laugh and place your head on his shoulder, catching a few milliseconds of sleep as the rest rush around. You both walk out to his car, gaining a few passengers as you do. Knowing that if you weren’t fast from past experiences, you’d end up in the back, so you shout, “Shotgun!” And the other three groan, and you smirk, “I knew it.” And the tall ones groan as they file into his car. Yuto mumbles, “It’s always more cramped in the back!” And Wooseok grumbles in the middle, “My long legs have no room to go!” This causes Shinwon to whine, “Quit bumping into me!”  You laugh and tease, “I have so much legroom up here~” And the three roll their eyes as he takes off to the restaurant. 

You relax and enjoy your meal as they talk about their upcoming comeback that’ll happen in a few months. When the scheduler is about to drop, and how they’re excited to release another album. “It feels a little bittersweet to release one without Jinho.” You nod, and they talk about their worries and wonder if they’ll be able to gain a win off of this one or not. You cheer them up by telling them they’ve got their fans behind them every step of the way. And how Universes will do everything they can to make a win for them. They agree with you, and you finish up the meal happily. 

—---

When Hyunggu told you he was an idol, it took you a long time to check out his stuff. Mostly because you were busy but partly because you knew you’d fall even deeper for him. It was about three months into your friendship when you listened to ‘Shine’ for the first time. And before you could even blink, you fell into the world of being a Universe. It felt so exciting. While you had been fans of groups and bands before. This time felt different. As you got to know them and their 'idol-like selves,' it was hard to spot the differences. Yes, there were times when they had worn fake smiles and done scripted things. But you found they were just as genuine on-screen as they were off. Knowing that your crush had a wonderful friend group and a sweeter fanbase endeared you even more. 

It didn’t take long for you to start collecting their things. Hyunggu shook his head as he visited your room after you started collecting to see their albums on your shelves. “I could have gotten these to you for free. You know?” But you shook your head at him, wanting to give him at least a cent for his hard work. When you finally started dating, you had just finished collecting their albums. You happily showed him, and he just smiled and kissed the top of your head, “You’re cute, you know that?” But this time, when this comeback goes up for sale. It’ll be the first Pentagon album you’ll get to pre-order, and you’re so excited. As he drives you home, you tell him how excited you are, and he smiles and tells you he’s excited too. He doesn’t elaborate further, considering you’ve already heard his hopes for it at dinner. 

You still had a few weeks until you had to compete to start. And with every practice run on the track, your confidence grew. You spent less time with Hyunggu and more time there. It was funny how your heart wished to be with him instead. Before meeting him, all your heart ever wanted was to race. To feel the engine roar and tires burn down the track. But when you’d spot Hyunggu in the stands, you almost wished to stop the car and run to him. So instead, you raced faster to see him quicker. It surprised you how quickly he grew in your heart, but it was delightful, nonetheless. 

On the big day, you wake up with a start. Rushing around and gathering up all the things that you had prepared the night before for today. You heard a knock on your door as you were throwing on your shoes. And there he was, standing waiting with a bag of donuts and a coffee for each of you. You wrapped your arms around him, thanking him, and took your coffee from him and sipped on it. He led you to your car, and you drove up to the track. “You nervous?” “A little.” He nodded and placed his hand over yours. “I know, whatever the outcome is, you’ll do your best. And that’s all that matters.” You nodded and pulled in to see the lot filling up fast. “Are these all the racers for today?” He hums and goes, “Maybe some of them are crews?” You let that ease your mind as you parked as close as possible. You pull out your donuts and eat them before exiting the car. You lock it up, and he places his hand in yours. You squeeze it tight and walk up, drinking your coffee. “You know, I knew there would be at least twenty racers… But I wasn’t expecting a whole army of them.” He nods and squeezes your hand, “It’ll be okay.” It takes a little while to meet up with your crew. He lets go of your hand so you can get coached and change into your suit. You look at him for as long as possible before entering race mode. 

This is going to be the hardest race of your life, while yes, there have been races that were hard to go through. But this one, you had to prove not only that you're an excellent racer. But that you are better than the other eighty-some racers out here today. And that thought alone made you nervous. You listened to each of your crew member's advice and how to navigate the turns and when best to get around others. You’d get two laps to train on this new track before they started qualifying. The track owner came up and started greeting everyone before the races began. He was polite and wished everyone well, as far as you could hear. You head to your car to see Hyunggu talking to a few of your members. He saw them all look over at you before he turned around with a big grin. “You ready?” You nodded, “As I’ll ever be.” He smiled, pulling you into his arms, “Go get ‘em, baby.” He ruffled your hair before you put your helmet on and waited for their final instructions. 

You lifted your helmet one last time and said, “I’ll do my best!” The crew nodded and wished you luck, and Hyunggu smiled, “You always do. You got this! I’ll be watching from the inside!” When it was your turn to practice, you pulled out of the pit before driving onto the track. You snaked across the pavement, getting your tires used to the new pavement. The first turn came fast, and you memorized how the straightaways met the curves as you sped around. Mentally marking all the spots your crew said were good to cut around others. And you made plans as you made it back from your first lap. You did your last lap and felt your confidence go up. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you feared. But as you remembered, some racers here had been waiting for their big chance too. And some had done this track a hundred times compared to you. It made your nerves spike back up, but you shook them off as you pitted. 

You popped your helmet off, and your race engineer came over, “What do you think?” You gulped, “It’s way more than I’m used to.” He nodded, “You are racing the Grand Prix now.” You nodded as he asked, “Did you see the spots we mentioned?” “Yeah, I made the plans on how to maneuver too.” He smiled, “Good. Now, I’ll let you talk to your lover boy over there. He was sweetly cheering you on in front of the screens. He’s a good guy.” You smile, “He’s the sweetest. Thanks.” He exits, and Hyunggu swoops in, “So, whaddaya think?” You nodded and told him all about it. He listened and asked some quick questions, and you answered with ease. He tells you, “I was watching you from the screen. You always look like you're in your element out there.” You smiled, and he kissed your forehead. He backed up as they announced the final racer had finished their practice run. “I’ll be watching.” “Like a guardian angel or private eye?” He laughed, “The former.” And you smiled at him as you nodded. 

They had you set up by your best time. So you would be racing with the 40s-60s. You placed forty-three, making you third in your set. Somehow, you would have to make it into this year's top twenty-two. When the first twenty finish their races, some of their times seem unreal. You gulp as you remind yourself that you only have to beat out fifty-eight racers to secure spot twenty-two. You pull your vehicles out to race next, and you hear the race official cheer, “Alright, I want a nice clean race. Remember your FIA rules. This is a no-contact sport. You will be disqualified if you do something intentionally. Do your best out there, and racers, start your engines!!” Your heart comes to life as you hear everyone’s engine roar as you press your engine on. Each racer starts at their own time. You stay for a moment, wanting the track to clear out a bit so you can get your head in the game. You only need to set your personal best. And once you lay your foot on that pedal, you better hit the metal. 

And so you do. You slam it down, easily make it around the curves, and even pass two people as you drive. Your engineer calls out for you to avoid hitting the guy coming up fast behind you. And you agree, but still try to go quicker. But they're slick as they slip past you and race ahead of others. You make it past two more racers on your first lap, coming out at '2:32.80.' You swear you were getting better times on your home track. You were getting to the 1:00s with no problem. You gasp into the mic, and your engineer goes, “Don’t lose your head. Just do this lap faster.” You do as you're told, getting out of your head, you speed around even faster, trying to set a personal best. And when you make it around, your time reads '1:59.343'. Every millisecond counts, and you look at your name to see it at the very bottom of the top twenty-two. You could live with that. All you needed was to stay in that spot, and you’d be okay. 

You come back and pit after pitting twice, once for refueling and once for tires. You pull off your helmet and cross all your appendages. Hoping and praying that somehow that time would be able to make it in. You jump out of your car before joining everyone in the garage and watch on, keeping your fingers crossed. The last twenty were up, each racing at their own pace. All it would take was one good time to beat you out. You knew it, and it terrified you, and as you sat there shaking, you felt someone place their hand on your knee. And you looked up from your internal plunder to see Hyunggu. “At least you can say you made it to the billboard, even if you don’t stay there.” You nod, and it calms you down for a moment. 

You watch as the racers return from their first lap and see their times start showing up on the board. Three racers placed in the top ten, officially sealing the deal for them. That meant you were out of the race. You hold back your tears as the rest of the racers finish up their laps. You don’t even notice you're crying until you are being pulled into multiple arms. One hands you a handkerchief, and you hold it to your face as you cry into it. It breaks your heart worse as you feel the others around you shake with their own tears. 

After fifteen minutes, you guys learn who’s in pole position. And the owner comes around to congratulate the winners. You successfully wipe your eyes and head out to congratulate them as well. Hyunggu stays behind you the whole time. His tears still streaking as you finish talking to others who have lost this year's race. One goes, “Better luck next time, huh?” The group of you laugh, “Yeah! We’ll get ‘em next time! And if we don’t. Well, we’ll just keep trying!” You laugh and wipe your eyes with your wet handkerchief. 

You head back to the garage and see everyone cleaning up. “Are you guys mad at me?” They shake their heads, and your manager answers for them, “No, honey, we’re proud of you for making it this far. Hell, you even made it on the chart for a moment.” Your engineer goes, “We’ll just have to keep training.” You nod, and they pat your shoulder as they exit, “We’ll see you again in a few months to start training.” You agree, and you walk back to your everyday car. Hyunggu has you sit in the passenger seat. And you finally crumble. It wasn’t your proudest moment. But you became inconsolable with tears and muttering. You could only put on that brave facade for so long. 

He turns on the radio and puts on your favorite sad songs. He tells you softly, “Come here,” after moving his seat backward to accommodate you. He pulls you over the console as you shake with tears. He holds you against him, and he can’t help but cry himself. It hurts him to see you so upset. He pulls out some napkins and wipes your cheeks, telling you kind and soft words. He rocks you in his arms as you mumble incoherent words. And he hums to them all. 

It takes a while for your cries to become sniffles. And for your tears to completely dry out, even though you wish to cry more. Hyunggu keeps you close through it all as you whisper little fears. He runs his hands through your hair, matching your worries with assurances. Reminding you about how loved you were, not only by him but by so many others. He lifts your chin and goes, “You know, I’ve never seen someone look so beautiful when they cry.” You sniffle, “Really?” He nods, “You’re beautiful all the time. It’s unsurprising to me that now would be any different.” You laugh, and he places a kiss on your nose. And then he kisses your cheek, your forehead, your chin, your neck, and everywhere he can reach before finally kissing your lips, making you giggle. He brings you out of your pool of sadness before setting you back onto your seat and buckling you in. “What do you say to wine and movies?” You smile softly, “I’d like that.”

He drives you back to your apartment and pulls out the wine he stored in your larder. He lets it aerate as you talk about all that could have gone better. And he nods but counters it before you can get too far deep into the rabbit hole. You do your best to hear him out, and he scoops two bowl fulls of ice cream before leading you to the couch. He brings the wine over and pours it into two glasses. He has you swirl it as he hands it to you. 

He puts on your favorite movie, and as your favorite scene comes on. Your tears have replenished, and you sob, which causes him to wrap you up in his arms as he quickly puts everything in your guy's hands down. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He keeps repeating to you as you watch on, and you cry, “How can they get a happy ending?” He puts his head into your collarbone, “Well, maybe this isn’t your ending?” That shocks you enough to cause a hiccup of tears, “Wh-What?” He smiles, “You’re in the middle of the movie. You have to have your Disney heartbreak before you get your Disney ending.” You blink at him, your tears slowing to stop, and he grins, “I know it doesn’t seem like it. But this isn’t the end. This is just the beginning.” He wipes your tears as he sheds a few himself. And you quickly wipe them from his eyes. He puts his forehead against yours, “I promise. You’re okay. You’ll reach the finish line and make a faster time. I’m sure of it.” You hum, and he pulls away, “Do you still wanna continue watching this movie?” You nod, and he rewinds the movie a bit.

He tucks you into bed before climbing in, “I thought you had to be at the dorms?” He shakes his head, “You’re more important. I already texted Hui that you need me more.” You blink at him, “But you can’t miss practice!” He shakes his head, “No need to worry! I’ll be doing a late practice and taking you with me.” “Oh.” He laughs, kisses your forehead, and turns off the light, “Have sweet dreams.” You whisper, “You too.” 

Your dreams remind you of your loss, and you wake up crying. You scooted over and pushed yourself into Hyunggu's arms. He opens an eye and wraps himself around you, “You okay?” You shake your head ‘no,’ and he puts his hand on your head, “Do you want to tell me about it?” You whisper, “It was about losing the race…” “Oh…” You nod, pushing your head deeper into his chest as he holds you closer. “It’s just a reflection of reality. You’ll get them next time, I promise.” You nod, and it doesn’t take long for you to drift back to sleep cuddled into him. You dream of laying next to Hyunggu in a field of daisies, with nothing to worry or wonder about, just the two of you laughing and talking about everything. 

You wake up later in the day to find him waiting for you to wake up, “Do you want to get lunch with me?” You gasp, “Is it that late?” “It’s one in the afternoon.” “Oh, that’s fine. Let’s go.” You both get dressed and during lunch, you two cheesily drink a milkshake together, “Isn’t it like... fifty percent backwash by now?” He laughs, “I guess, but I don’t mind yours.” You laugh, reach over the milkshake, and kiss him. “Ah yeah, it’s better that way.” He giggles, “I agree.” He kisses you again, and your food comes a moment later. After lunch, he takes you to practice with him. 

You cheer him and the rest of them on, and they head to the studio later, wanting to finalize a few more things on the album itself. Hyunggu sits on your lap as they all try to fit in the tiny little studio. You laugh as the boys cry about how he was never this affectionate with him, and you stick your tongue out at them. As Hyunggu turns into Kino in the recording area, Yanan and Hongseok surround you. Hongseok speaks up first, “Hey, we heard about yesterday. Are you okay?” You look down at your hands, “I suppose so? I’m definitely not as okay as I wish to be right now.” Yanan asks, “But you did your best, right?” You nod, the two smile, and he continues, “That just means your best will get better.” You smile, and Hongseok says, “You’ll get ‘em next time. And then, when you win, we’ll do our best to attend your races.” You laugh, “Okay.” Changgu comes over, “For free, right?” You laugh even harder, “Yeah, of course, you guys are practically my boyfriend’s family.” The whole group cheered, except Hyunggu, who couldn’t hear anything behind the glass. 

You listen to his stunning voice, and he finishes quickly, joining you again, “How did I sound?” You smile, “Beautiful as always.” He grins and kisses your nose, which causes Shinwon to whine, “Cooties.” You smirk and kiss Hyunggu, “What do you call that for cooties?” Shinwon cries, ‘gross’ louder, and both of you giggle at him. And as you wait, the one and only Jinho comes in, and you jokingly salute him. And he stands at attention to do so, and you both laugh, “Good to see the soldier. Is this your goodbye track?” He nods, “Yeah, the kids complained that they’ll miss me worse if I don’t.” You smile, “As a Universe, I would too.” He laughs, “Yeah,” he turns to Hui and says, “I only have a few lines to fix, then I have to go back to base.” Hui nods, and Yuto exits the studio and joins the rest of you on the cramped couch. 

The seven of you happily listen to Jinho’s voice. Hui smiles, “I never tire of hearing his voice.” And the rest of you hum in agreement, and you cry a little as the song continues to play. Hyunggu immediately wipes your eyes, “Oh, you haven’t heard it that much…” You shake your head, “I knew it would be a goodbye song, but…” They all coo at you, and as Jinho opens the door, “Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” You shake your head, “I just um… Wow, I know we get to see you a bit. But Unis, in comparison, I just, wow.” He pats your head, “You’ll be okay, kid.” You nod, and he lets the boys hug him as he leaves for base camp. “How do you guys do this with no tears?” Hui shakes his head, “I know you saw Spring Snow + Shine, so…” You sigh, “Yeah… I guess it’s a little easier now?” They nod, and Yuto says, “But we can’t help but miss him even when he’s here.” They all agree, and Jinho returns, “I forgot my hat!” And the eight of you cry, “Jinho!” And he looks at all of you, “What?” He sighs as he realizes he’ll have to do a round of hugs again. You give him one before you all give him a group hug. He mutters, “I’m going to be so late,” as he hugs back just as tightly, “Only fourteen months before we’re all back together.” You all nod and let him go this time, and he rushes to his bus.

After a few more tweaks to the songs, you head out to your cars, and when you part from Hyunggu, he asks, “You’ll be okay, right?” You nod, “If I’m not, I’ll head to the dorms.” He nods, “Okay. I’ll miss you.” You give him a soft smile as you open your car door, “I’ll miss you too. I’ll see you in two days?” He agrees and hops into the van while you head home. 

From that day forward, you take your time off seriously, working out, researching, and watching all the races to see what they did differently than you had. But that didn’t mean you weren’t spending time with the boys. Rather, that was how you spent the majority of your time. If it wasn’t night or early morning, you were following their schedules with them. It was exciting to see the finishing touches make the dance and song come to life. It went from disarray to a perfect ensemble. And you couldn’t help but clap after each practice. And before you knew it, Daisy was coming out. And you couldn’t be more excited. 

You cheered as you looked at his painting for the first time and asked him how he did it, and he happily told you his whole process. Explaining what brush stroke created, you couldn’t help but admire him as he did. “You know, you’re more beautiful than your painting.” He pouts, “What are you saying?” And you kiss his temple, “I’m saying that you made the most beautiful painting of a daisy that I’ve ever seen. But you, handsome, are more beautiful when you explain something you’ve created or are passionate about.” He blushes, “Well, I guess when you put it that way…” You shake your head, cup his face in your hands, and bring him in for a kiss. He kisses back just as feverishly. You pull away and squish his cheeks, “Yeah, you’re the finest artwork out there.” He pouts, and you giggle, “It’s even cuter when your cheeks are squished.” He gently pulls your hand away and captures you into another kiss. He pulls back to whisper, “I can’t get enough of you.” You blush, “Did anyone ever tell you that you look hot with silver hair?” He hums, “Just you so far.” You smirk as you kiss him again and pull him into your arms. 

He pulls back, “Let me put this away before we continue.” You sigh, “You’re a great killer of the mood.” He laughs, “Maybe, but I’ll bring it back up.” You raise your eyebrow, “You sure?” He smirks as he finishes putting his painting back into its spot, “Oh, I’m positive, baby.” He whisks you into his arms and kisses you deeply again. “That work?” You smirk, “I don’t know yet. I’m not entirely convinced~” He grins, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to spend all night convincing you~”

—---

While you had already heard the song a handful of times and saw how they prepared for and filmed the music video, to see the final cut and how it was compiled and edited would be different and magical. You stayed up the whole night, anticipating its release. Hyunggu stayed over at your place because it was closer to their first showcase. You had left the bed to watch it cause you didn’t want him to hear your reactions and wake up. As it drew to the last seconds and you refreshed the page, you grinned, it popped up, and clicked it. 

You smiled, seeing Kino first, and as the song faded in. You gasped. The music video made the song feel fuller, as though it were finally complete. It felt more like a tragic movie than a simple music video, and you were captivated entirely. Watching him fall back into the water as if he were drowning without his person broke your heart. And then the ending paragraph came, and you quickly scanned through it. But the line that stuck out most to you was, “Sorrow lasts a second, but what we share in our universe is eternal.” It resonated with you. It felt like your relationship with Hyunggu, how sorrow lasts a moment. While you may have lost that race a while ago, he stayed by your side. He shares all his highs and lows with you as you do with him. Because what the two of you share is forever.

You couldn’t help but hum the melody as you retired to bed. When you return, you see Hyunggu waiting for you to return. He patted your side of the bed as he told you, “I felt you leave and waited for you to come back.” You shook your head at him, “Come here, you amazing musical man.” He grinned as he scooted into your arms, “Did you like the music video?” You wrap your arms around him, “I think like is an understatement!” He laughs, “I’m glad. What was your favorite part?” You smile, “Other than your parts? Probably the ending. Especially the ending words, ‘Sorrow lasts a second, but what we share in our universe is eternal.’ Those stuck with me.” He nods, and you tell him, “Let’s get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow.” He agrees, and you shut off the lamp and settle in for the night. 

Hyunggu leaves for his rehearsals at the first stage, and you see your albums delivered. You happily opened the box and unboxed them, and to your luck, you pulled a ‘Kino’ bookmark and message card in one album. And a ‘Kino’ CD cover & photocard in the unseen version. Did you still find the Hongseok photocard and the Shinwon sticker cute? Yes, but would you be telling Hyunggu that? Not if you wanted to deal with a pouty baby. You sleeve the two cards, put the one in your binder, and replace your Universe: The Black Hall card with your newest We:th Kino card in the back of your phone. You smile and place the ‘old’ one into your Kino binder. You keep your unseen album out and head over to the showcase building. 

As you walk to the building, you spot a person selling bouquets. You grin as you pick out a beautiful one, “These have kind meanings?” The florist nods, “Yes! The pink gardenias and zinnias mixed with the red roses mean an everlasting romantic love.” You thank them as you pay for them and continue on your way. You show your badge to the security presiding outside, and the one leads you in and into the dressing room. You thank him and greet the rest of the staff on the inside. “It’s already started.” The hairstylist tells you, and you pout, “I didn’t mean to be late…” She pats your head, “It’s okay. I heard they were shipping out albums today, and seeing as you have yours, I see why you were late!” You laugh, “Yeah, I had to open them before coming!” She nods, “Did you pull a lot of Kino?” You smile, “Quite a bit! I’m just missing a sticker of his! I’ll probably have to collect a few of his preorder cards if they’re cute!” She shakes her head, “You have the real deal, though…” The makeup artist shakes his head, “If my husband were in an idol group, I’d be collecting everything of his and more!” You laugh, “He gets it perfectly!” Your conversation dies down as they start performing again. And you’re entranced as you squeeze the flowers close to you. 

When they finish the showcase and say their goodbyes, they come back to the dressing room. You greet them, and they smile, giving you small greetings, and when Hyunggu enters, you get up and present him flowers. “For you, my love.” He grins, “Thank you.” You smile and tell him, “You did well today. I’m so proud of you!” He grins and brings you in for a hug. From behind, you hear a cry of, “Where’s our hugs?!” You both laugh and part and hug them and congratulate each other for their performance. You sit back in your seat and wait for them all to collect themselves before asking, “Is there any way I can have you guys sign this lovely album?” They nod, taking turns signing it, and you thank each of them as they do. 

You come back to Hyunggu with your pen, “Mr. Kino, may I have the honors?” He laughs and teases, “But you’ve already had so many others sign your album~ Shouldn’t you only want mine?” You blink at him, “I’d only want yours on a marriage certificate.” And the other boys snicker at him, and you watch his cheeks turn red as he asks, “You want to marry me someday?” You laugh as if the answer is obvious. As he finishes signing, you tell him, “Of course I do.” He blushes, “Me too.” It was your turn to blush, and you kissed the top of his head. As you sit beside him and place the album onto your lap, Wooseok sits beside you, “Where are you going to put our signatures?” You smile, “I have this standee waiting at home on my shelf for it~” He smiles, “Oh, that’s sweet.” You nod and continue talking to Wooseok. And feel Hyunggu’s hand rub against your own, and you link your hand to his. 

When a break in the conversation happens, you sneak a smile at him. Yuto joins the conversation, and they talk about their upcoming promotions, and you listen intently and ask, “Are you guys up for an award?” They agree, “Every time we have a comeback, yeah.” You smile, “The Show, right?” They nod, and Changgu comes over, “We don’t expect anything, but we hope we gave Unis a good song.” You smile, “I think you guys did more than that.” He hums, “I guess only a universe would know~” You laugh and nod. At home, you put your album up on the shelf with pride, head to your phone, log into Star Pass, and vote continuously with the points you’ve garnered.

Time flies, and the day of ‘The Show’s’ showcase came faster than you expected. Maybe it was because of your constant voting and cheering that made time pass quicker. Or it was because you followed the same schedule as them. When they left to go somewhere, so did you, and with what little free time you had, you were voting. While, you would have voted for the beautiful song regardless if you weren’t dating a member. It felt more special because you thought you helped give him the gift he always wanted to achieve. Like how you could have gotten their albums for free, yet you still pre ordered them. You’d do anything to support him. It’s what made your guy’s relationship so special. Your endless support of each other’s dreams was unmatched. And you wouldn’t trade that devotion for the world. 

Jinho came to the pre recording of ‘The Show,’ hearing that they were up for an award. It was fun to watch them all chat and get ready to perform. The nine of them combine after some bickering. They put their hands together and cheer, “Just do it. YO!” And you grin and wish them well. While they head up to the stage, you wait in the back with Jinho. The two of you start hoping and praying that somehow they would win. “Do you think it’s possible?” He nods, “I believe in them. I know we’ve been through a lot. And we've come close before. But I’m sure this time will be different. I feel it in my bones.” You smile, “Yeah, I know I haven’t been here long with you guys or as a Universe. But I did my very best to vote and hopefully ensure one. But I think you’re right.” He smiles and nods, the two of you intently watching the eight of them perform their hearts out on stage. 

They return from the stage, and you two congratulate them on their performance. And Hyunggu rushes over, “Sweaty hug?!” You groan out, ‘No’ as he hugs you tightly. You sigh and hold him anyway, “You did well, baby.” He thanks you, and you ask, “Can I please get some Febreeze or something?” He whines but hands you some, and the staff moves around to fan and get them dry before they’re due on stage again. You hand the spray over to Jinho as he complains, “At least you only got one…” You laugh at him, “Eh, they’re happy, and that’s what matters.” He shakes his head and mumbles, “Kids…” 

They’re called up to the stage about thirty minutes later when they’re all fresh and dry to accept the award. As the last performing member exits and the door closes, you tell them, “I got flowers in my car. I’m going to run to grab them while they make announcements.” They nod, and you speed out and show your tag to each security officer. And rush to your car, pulling out a big bouquet, hoping this one would be a celebration bouquet rather than one to cheer them up. You finally make it back in time to see the announcers getting ready for them to tally up the points. 

You cross your fingers and all the appendages you can twist up in hope. You gasp as the views and preorder score pop up. Weki Meki’s and Weekly’s numbers don’t even come close to adding up to 5000. The pre-voting numbers make you slightly nervous. Weki Meki comes ahead of them by 890. But they’d have to pull off an impressive feat to beat Pentagon in the real-time voting category. You gasp as the last number and the totals come up: they won. Your eyes turn bleary as you cry, “They did it!” The two of you hug as you cheer them on from the inside. You smile as you watch them high-five and hug and listen to their speeches as tears run down your cheeks. You pat Jinho’s back, “I can’t believe they did it…” He nods, “Hyunggu told me to watch while I was away because they’d win, and they did.” You look to see his proud smile before returning your eyes to the TV screen. 

The two of you giggle as they lift Hui into the air, and their little ‘thank you’s cause you to cry more, and you give up and grab the tissue box. You wipe your eyes as you watch them. They did it, they really did it. You watch Shinwon hand Hyunggu the award and whisper, “Oh no, he’s crying…” Jinho takes his turn and pats you on the back as you cry harder. You were so thankful Shinwon and Hui were up there to hold and take care of him. You laugh through your tears as Changgu laughs at him but still helps him walk it out. They gather him and help him to the back. And you do your best to wipe your tears away and dispose of your used tissues. Jinho whispers, “I’m so proud of them.” You grin back at him as you both stand there waiting for them, “Me too.” 

When the door opens, you congratulate them all, and Hyunggu immediately wraps himself in your arms. He finally bursts into tears, and it breaks your heart into pieces. You whisper the phrases “You’ve made it,...” and “I’m so proud of you...” over and over into his ears. The boys come over to check on him every so often. And when Jinho comes over, you release him, and Jinho tells him, “You promised me, and look at you, you did it!” Which makes him start to hiccup as he finally regains his senses. 

You go over and grab the ‘large bouquet,’ which were small bouquets individually wrapped inside a large parcel as you had asked for. You hand them out, congratulating each of them on their success. In the end, you face them all except for the two in the corner and tell them, “You boys did so well. I’m so proud of you. And I know for a fact Universes have been trying to give you a win, and I’m so glad they accomplished that feat for you guys.” They thank you, and you shake your head as you tell them, “No, thank you for giving us such an amazing album.” They laugh, and you head over and hand Hyunggu and Jinho their flowers last. As you move your hand away from Hyunggu’s he grabs your pinky in his and holds it the whole time as you tell them you're proud of them. 

You leave to the couch so they can take photos, and once they change, they shout a vlive immediately, thanking all of Unis, and you couldn’t be happier as you watched both on screen and in person. The staff and you take the nine of them out on the company card and treat them to whatever they want. Hui clinks his glass and gives a huge cheer to his members, and you all clink your glasses and drink. You bring Hyunggu into you as he becomes soft and mushy about it again. And you can’t help but grin and kiss his forehead, “You’ve done wonderful, lovely. Eat the rest of your meal, okay?” He nods and does as you ask. You all have dessert and do one last hip-hip-hooray for the nine of them. 

Your training started after their promotions ended. You were on that track: rain, snow, or shine. Well, you were inside karting when it snowed or rained. But regardless, you trained as often as you could. It would get pretty tiring if you weren’t in love with the sport. That every day you woke up excited to race. But today would be different. You were acting like you were heading out to race as Hyunggu showed up. “Hey, baby, are you going out today?” You tell him you are as you tie your last shoe, “Wait for me!” You grin as you watch your boyfriend scuttle around and gather his things to head out with you. You were planning a little karting date for the past week, making sure no other drivers would be there and it would be clear outside on your date. 

You hold out your car keys to him, “Wanna drive?” He raises an eyebrow at you as you do and grins, “I wanna be the passenger this time.” He laughs and takes the car keys, “It’s not often you get to chauffeur a world-class driver.” You giggle and kiss his nose before heading to the car and opening the door, “My prince?” He grins and pops open your door as you get to the passenger's side, “Your ride awaits, your highness.” You laugh and get in, and he reaches over and clicks your seatbelt on around you. You grin as you thank him, and he pulls on his belt and takes you to the practice track. 

You both get out, and you hold back your grin as you ask, “Do you want to try karting with me?” He furrowed his eyebrows, “I can?” You laugh, “Yeah, the smaller building houses karting while the larger is for Formula cars.” He asks, “Really? You’d want to do that with me?” You laugh, “Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugs, “I thought it was only big leagues allowed here.” You shake your head, “Well, when others are here, yeah.” He raises his eyebrow, “Are we gonna get caught?” You shake your head, “They already know.” He gasps, “You planned this?” You nod, “Yeah… For about a month now.” He smiles, and you continue, “Also, it’s not illegal. Just would be a little dangerous since you’re new, and the people here would run circles around you.” He pouts at that, and you shake your head, “I just mean they’re trained professionals.” He agrees, and you capture his hand in yours, “And lastly, I think it’d be fun to show you the ropes and everything I do. Like how you’ve shown me.” He smiles, bringing your hands up, and places a kiss on top of yours, “I’d love that.”

You get him outfitted into a helmet and mic, “This part kind of reminds me of my career.” You nod, “Well, if we wish to talk on the track, it’s a lot easier this way. And I’m not allowing you to race without safety.” He raises an eyebrow, “Have you raced without safety?” You shrug, “By myself, yes, once or twice when I’ve forgotten. With others, no, I don’t want a head injury.” His eyes go wide at that, “You mean?” You nod, “Yeah, it’s possible karting, but we won’t be doing anything risky, so no need for concerns.” He lets out a sigh of relief, “Good.” You ruffle his hair before he puts on his helmet. You ask, “Alright, lift your visor for me.” You grin, “I just wanted to see your pretty eyes.” He smiles and lifts yours, “Yours are pretty, too.” You blush and shake your head, “Okay, I’ll explain the rules and how to drive it. But follow me the first time around the track, and I promise you’ll get the hang of it from there.” 

You explain it all to him before shutting your visors and showing him around the track, and he eventually gets the hang of the gas and brake. “You got it?” He holds his hand out and shakes it as if to say, ‘So-so’. You nod, “Wanna drive beside me?” He nods, “I’d like that.” You take him around the track with you. You whisper, “It’s kind of fun to be beside you like this.” And you hear him hum before he says, “I see why you love it. When I’m beside you, it’s a lot more fun.” You smile, “Karting with you is fun.” You go through the track together, and he has a better time handling it. You ask him if he wishes to race against you this time, and he agrees. 

You two race around for a few rounds, with you coming in first with ease. This track has become etched in the back of your mind with how many times you’ve raced it. You speed around and giggle as you hear his laughter as he’s managed to get in front of you. You smile to yourself. Doing this for fun always reminds you of your zest for it. You cackled as you bumped into him again, “Hey! No excessive bumping! This isn’t bumper cars!!” You make an ‘L’ with your fingers at him and jeer, “Loooooseerrr!” And zoom past him and cross the finish line again. You wait for him to return and see the pouty baby, and you giggle and pull him into a small hug, “Aw, come here, you’re my favorite loser.” He whines at that as you pull away, “You have years on me in this!” You giggle and make a cute gesture, “I know, just like how you have years on me as a singer.” Seeing his window of opportunity, he hits the gas, “Catch me if you can~” You shake your head and let him have his five-second head start. You decide on taking it slow behind him, maybe a turn away from where he is. And he gets this determined look on his face as you grow nearer. 

You grin, realizing he’s feeling the need for speed, and start to tail him, making him go around faster. He starts snaking so you can’t go around him, and you laugh. “You know that’s an illegal move~” “You didn’t say so until after we started, so it’s not a rule~” You shrug, “Fair enough.” You rev your kart behind him every time he slows down, which has him snake around faster. You slow down around a turn to see how quickly he’d make it to the finish line. And you grin as you see him speed to the checkered line. You speed up behind him, “You beat me!” You cheer, and he chuckles, “I did!” You ask, “You know what winners get?” “A kiss?” You nod, pull up next to him, and lift your helmet off to see he’s patiently waiting. You shake your head at him before pulling him in for a kiss. “One more round?” He nods, and you smile, “Let’s race together?” He nods, and you pull on your helmet again, and you make little vrooming noises in the mic, which causes him to laugh as the two of you take off again.

After finishing your last race together, you put your carts, helmets, and padding in their rightful spots. You head over to the lights and turn them off one by one. You whine, “I hate this part.” He laughs, “I can see why. It gives backroom vibes.” You groan, “Yeah, exactly.” You both rush to the big door, “Alright, time to lock up.” You turn off the last light and get out into the night air. You lock the door, and he wraps his arm around you, “This was a pleasant surprise.” 

You smile and wrap your arm around his waist, “I was hoping you’d like it.” He nods, “It’s just as fun as watching you race.” “You think so?” “Seeing you have fun and live your dream is thrilling to me. But karting with you today gave me a taste of the dream you follow. And it’s wonderful.” You smile, and the two of you walk back to your car. And you drive you both back home, “Do your legs feel like jelly?” He laughs, “Very much so. Is this normal?” You grin, “Yeah, but you get used to it, especially because it doesn’t compare to the speeds of the cars I usually drive.” He nods, “Makes sense.” 

—--

You continue your practice racing, but every once in a while, when all the drivers have left. And Hyunggu was the only one in the stands. After practicing, you’d head and do a few rounds of karting together. The joy of seeing him get his first ‘real’ win felt unbelievable, and you couldn’t believe he had beaten you. You could have chalked it up as being distracted because of his charms. But really, he had just learned your tricks from watching you every day. “I’m proud of you, baby!” He boasted about it on his social media, and you took photos of him being so triumphant. You couldn’t help but feel proud as you had taught him everything. 

He asked while you were going home that day, “You know how you let me kart with you? Maybe someday I can get your vocals on an album?” You blushed, “You’d like my vocals on an album? But you’ve heard my voice…” He shakes his head, “I love your voice. I like hearing it when you sing softly along to our songs or the radio. It’s pleasant. Of course, you never have to if you don’t want to. But if you’d like and the opportunity comes, I’d love to have your voice on one of my tracks.” You nod and tell him, “Maybe someday… I’m glad we can share our careers with each other.” He smiles and places his hand over yours, “Me too.”

—---

It felt unbelievable to believe you were back here on this track again. Hyunggu holds your hand the whole way up to the garage. You had practiced the entire night, only going home when Hyunggu phoned you through the mic to go home. You were so nervous that you barely slept. You didn’t want a repeat of last year and worried throughout the night, even with him beside you. He pats the top of your hand, “You got this baby. I know you do, you’ve trained harder, and you know this track this time.” You gulp, “Are you sure?” He stops you halfway to your team and puts his hands on your shoulders, “I’ve never been more sure of something or someone than I am of you right now.” You lock eyes with him, “You mean it?” He nods, “With every fiber of my being.” You wrap your arms around him, “Thank you. I’m gonna win today.” He chuckles, “I know you will, baby.” 

He was right. You knew the track, and you were more prepared. You spent your first practice run jogging your memory of each curve. And you felt more confident with each one you took. When your second practice run began, you did as if you were qualifying. As you return to the finish line, you see your clock, the time reads back ‘1:47.03’, and you hear your race engineer go, “You can shave that down. I know you can.” And you agree as you pull back into the pit. “You ready to show them who you are out there?” You nod at your race engineer, and he smiles, “I believe in you.” You smile, and Hyunggu comes over with a big grin, “You did so well, baby!!” You tease, “Maybe it’s because I had to finally challenge myself in karting~.” He laughs, “I don’t think so. But I love the thought, baby. Now, go out there and knock ‘em dead. Or drive faster than them, whatever works.” You laugh at that and blow him a kiss before he heads off. 

Unlike the last race, you were in spot twenty-five to start, an incredible placement as opposed to last time. When they call for the twenties to thirties to race, you strap in and wait for the signal. You exit the pit and stop at the line momentarily before barreling down the track. You took the turns more sharply but just as safely as your coach called out the shots. You listened to them as if they were second nature, “Coming up on your left!” You nod and see the car catching up to you, and you shake your head, “Do I have leverage up on the right?” “Yeah! Gun it!” You gas and spin the wheel quickly to make a faster turn, leaving the competitor in the dust. You let out a huff and make it back to the line. The numbers read back to you, “1:38.34”. You scoff, catch your breath, and see your competitor come up beside you and quickly start their second race. You hold back for another moment, wanting a clear track for at least two curves. 

“Ready, (Y/n)?” “As I’ll ever be.” And with that, you punch it, going faster than you last had, wanting desperately to make it and stay on the board. Unlike last year, there would only be twenty spots, and you were determined to be one of the twenty. You gulp as you reach the finish line and speed up even faster. “Come on, come on, come on!” You cry as you cross the finish line, and the numbers flash, “1:30.985.” You gasp. You shaved seventeen whole seconds off of your original time, and you can’t help but cheer as you pit. “I think I may have it this time!” The crew all cheers as you get out and wait. Hyunggu wraps you up in a hug and excitedly says, “Let’s watch!” You nod and watch the screens as everyone whizzes by. You hear, “Was it easier this time?” One of the members who changes tires asks. And you nod, “Yeah, knowing the track helped.” They pat your back, “I believe we’ll make it this time.” You smile and start silently praying that you will. 

You get booted from the top ten and let it roll off your shoulders. One day, you’d make it into the top ten with ease. When the last racer finishes their laps, you gasp, “I’m still in…” It stuns you as you look at the screen in shock and hear everyone erupt into cheers, “You’re in spot sixteen!” They pick you up and lift you into the air, “We’re going to the Grand Prix!!” You can’t believe your ears, your biggest dream since you were little, and you were about to live it. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you were put back onto the cement again. You hear cheers of ‘We’re so proud of you!’ ‘We made it!’ and ‘That’s our racer!’ but all you see is Hyunggu. He picks you up and spins, “You’re going to be a Grand Prix racer! I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” You wipe the tears from your eyes as you thank him. 

You head and thank the other racers who didn’t make it to the Grand Prix for racing with you today. And some of them congratulate you because they met you last year. You head out to the racer’s circle, “You twenty are going to be racing the next twelve races together.” You gulp, and the track owner asks, “Is anyone new to the Grand Prix?” Although he wasn't trying to single anyone out. Alas, he does. And you wave your hand, “Our only newcomer this year! Well, you already know what it takes to get here. But please get to know your fellow racers and good luck!” You smile and get accustomed to the other nineteen. And they welcome you in, and the one goes, “I can’t guarantee we’ll be friendly out there to you. We’re all trying to win, after all. But we do fight fair.” “Welcome to the big leagues, kid!” You laugh, “Thanks, but isn’t that what they say in baseball?” He nods, “Yeah, but we say it here too.” You smile, get to know the racers, pose for the camera, and introduce your car. 

And go about the mini-press meetings. One of the racers, Carlos, says, “This will get easier by the second race.” You sigh, “I hope so, 'cause I have a lot of nerves right now.” He pats your back, “I promise, their questions will pertain more to your car and racing capabilities the longer the races go on.” You nod, “That’ll be easier.” He nods, heads to his car, and chats more to the presses. You find your way back, “I don’t know how you deal with that constantly.” Hyunggu looks over to the crowd of mics and cameras, “We’re trained on how to talk to them early on. So, it’s not as hard.” You laugh, “I wish. I just did my best out there.” He smiles, “That’s all anyone can ask.” He kisses your forehead, “So, do you want to go out and celebrate?” You grin, “I’d love to.” 

The crew was already out celebrating, seeing as they had more to prepare for the upcoming twelve races than you did. “When will you be back?” You look at the chart they sent you, “After March fifteenth... And to officially stay at home? Not until November.” He nods, “We’ll be away from each other for a long time…” You sigh, “But I’ll always be a phone call away, I promise.” He nods, “I’m going to miss your first race, aren’t I?…” You nod solemnly, “I know it’s okay… I think I’ll miss your performances, new album…” He sighs, “Yeah, that’s going to be hard.” You grasp his hands in yours, “It’s going to be okay. You can watch me on your TV race, and I can watch you on mine in the hotel perform your heart out.” He gives you a small smile, “I’ll try to make it to one of your races.” You squeeze his hands, “I’ll try to make it to one of your performances.” 

As you pack your last things to head out onto the plane, Hyunggu comes over, “I’m going to miss you.” You sigh, “I’m going to miss you too.” He nods and helps you sort the last few of your things. You zip up your suitcase as you sit in front of him. He grabs your hands, “What’s wrong?” You sigh, “We won’t be able to be there for each other this time around.” He nods, “I’ve been thinking about that too…” You nod, “I know we have our staff and friends, but I don’t know… It’s just not going to be the same.” He nods, “You’re a constant presence in my life. It’ll be weird to be apart.” You interlock your hands, “I know we’ll be fine on our own. And that being apart is good for a healthy relationship to flourish. But I really wish to be by your side.” He squeezes your hands in his, “I wish we could stay like this for longer.” You sigh and look at his candy-floss pink hair, “I can’t believe you’re pink, and I’ll get to miss a majority of it…” He laughs, “I’ll be missing you in that uniform.” “Kang…” He smirks, “How long before you need to be at the airport?” You look at the clock before smirking, “A few hours.” And he captures your lips in his, “Let’s make the most of it, shall we?” 

—---

You arrived in Melbourne and settled in for the next two days, seeing sights and getting used to the climate. As you were on your way to Australia, Pentagon dropped their new album, and you listened to it. You loved the whole album and told Hyunggu happily about each track when you landed. When the race drew closer, they allowed all the racers to start practicing on the track. The songs were so catchy that even with the roar of your engine, you could hear them as you whipped around curves and learned the road. It was good enough fuel to keep you racing. 

Off the track, you spend the majority of your time watching their music videos, behind-the-scenes, and stages. Hyunggu texts you when he finishes his last interview of the day, and you call him up, “I miss you so much.” And he sighs out the same, “I feel like a piece of me is missing without you here.” You agree, and he asks you about your day, and you tell him about how the track feels and how fast your times were. He was proud of you for having good times, and you asked him to tell you about his day. And his day started at three in the morning and didn’t finish until six in the afternoon. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He hums, “No, I’d rather talk to you.” You sigh, “I’d rather talk to you too… But baby, your sleep means more to me than that. So, go to bed, it’s okay. I’ll be here for you to talk to tomorrow.” You can almost hear the pout in his voice as he says, “Okay…” You smile, and you tell each other your goodbyes. 

You slept restlessly, tossing and turning, knowing that tomorrow was the big day. And not having Hyunggu to calm you down drove you insane. Even the teddy bear he gave you wasn’t enough. You were so thankful for the morning to come as you got ready. Hyunggu called you up, “Today’s the big day!” You gulped, “Yeah…” He reapproaches that subject, “You nervous for today?” You softly agree, and he says, “I know you have numerous reasons to be nervous, but I’ll cheer you on no matter what happens. I know you’re an amazing racer. You just need to show them.” You smile, “You think so?” He chuckles, “Think? I know you are, dear. Do you want me to talk to you all the way there?” “Yeah, if you could… It would take my mind off of it. Tell me about everything.” He fills you in on everything from the stage lights to the eating habits of Hui’s dog, Happy. It keeps you calm as you're driven to the event. 

“And then, because Wooseok was messing with Changgu, Yanan moved his chair slightly to the left!” “What?” “Yeah! And when he went to sit on the chair and slipped right out of it 'cause it wasn’t where it was!” You laugh, “You boys certainly get up to madness.” He laughs, “Oh, I have more stories if you have time!” You smile, “I have time for one more.” You leave the car and head to the garage where the rest of your crew is, politely greeting them while listening to Hyunggu tell you about everything happening in Dorm A. He finishes as you sit down, “I’m at the garage… I’ve loved listening to you…” “But you have to go?” You hum, and he says, “I love you, baby. Go get ‘em!” You smile, “I love you too, and I’ll do my best.” “That’s all I ask.” You say your last goodbyes and hang up. 

You get suited up and get good coaching from your crew members. “You’ll do just fine. Just listen to the car and your engineer, okay?” You agree, and they pat you on the back before helping you into the car. They have you do two practice rounds before they start qualifying. You make it through the first round and make spot eighteen. It made your nerves itch. It was close to the end. But your team still cheered you as you returned, “It’ll be okay. It’s your first race in the Grand Prix. Hell, it’s our first race, too. So just do your best.” You agree, wait for them to call the racers, and do your best to calm your nerves. You calm down after qualifying and get into spot eighteen. When the race portion starts, the first thirty minutes fly by. You did everything to stay in your original position, but once you lost that position, you quickly lost the nineteenth.

They ate you alive out there… They were kind people off the track, but they weren’t kidding when they said they weren’t going easy on you just because you were new. You did everything right. Your car was in mint condition, and you sped around the curves, even with those two practice rounds. But it wasn’t enough. You came up short. For the longest time, you couldn't even see number nineteen, let alone its bumper. But at the end of the last five laps, you could see their bumper. You couldn't get around them even if you wanted to, and your engineer calmed you down from above, “You’re doing as good as you can. This is all new to you. It’s okay to come in last. Someone always has to. This time it’s you. Maybe next time it won’t be.” You agreed, and in the end, you ended up beside the car in front of you. At least you accomplished that small feat. You could only hope to grow better. 

------

You call Shinwon up, knowing he’d be able to keep the secret of you being able to make it to one of their performances. “We’ll be performing on M Countdown on the first. You’d have to be in the back by 3 a.m. That’s when we’re going to be arriving.” You agree wholeheartedly, and he goes, “We watched you race, by the way.” “We?” He chuckles, “All of us did. We were cheering you on the whole time.” You don’t let any tears spill as you thank him, “You did well for your first race in the Grand Prix.” You sigh, “Last place?” He says, “Yeah, it means you got nowhere to go but up from here.” Your tears leave your eyes as you whisper, “I guess you’re right…” 

“You want me to transfer you to Hyunggu?” You mumble a ‘yes’, and he shuffles on the other end as you do your best not to cry, “Console your lover, man.” You let out a light laugh as Hyunggu’s voice rings through, “You okay?” You shake your head and remember he can’t see it as you whisper, ‘No’. “Oh, baby, why are you crying?” You whisper, “Shinwon has some kind words…” He laughs, “Yeah, he can probably make a building cry with his kindness.” You sigh out a laugh and say, “Yeah…” “What did he say?” “That I got nowhere to go but up.” He smiles, “Well, he’s right. We watched you race, and you were driving well, but the other racers had you because you were new to their racing styles. All you have to do is adjust, and I promise you, you’ll have it.” 

He was right, and at your next race in Sakhir, Bahrain, you proved you were a racer worthy of being up in the ranks of Formula One. You made it to seventeenth place. It took everything out of you. But you were so proud of yourself, and as you sat in a diner with the rest of the crew, Hyunggu congratulated you. And you heard the rest of the group in the background cheering for you, and it warmed your heart. Your handling was well. And you were getting used to the races, the racers, and everything. It’s exactly how you hoped. Maybe you weren’t winning, but you were driving in the Grand Prix, and that’s what you wanted. 

The next morning, as you were finishing packing to head home for at least a few days, your manager reminded you, “Remember, by the tenth, you have to be ready to fly out to Shanghai.” You nod and thank them, “I’ll see you then.” They laugh, “You’ll see me on the eleventh. I’ll be in Shenzhen until then.” You smile, “That sounds wonderful, enjoy your time!” “You too!” You head to the airport, excited to go home. You sleep the whole way there on the plane and take a cab home, not wanting Hyunggu to know you were back yet. You pick up your packages from the mailbox and cheer, “My albums!” And quickly rush up the stairs before unpacking some souvenirs and other little items you got along the way. 

You spend the next day resting and getting used to your apartment again. But when it strikes 2 a.m., you text Shinwon asking if he can ask their manager to sneak you in. And he texts back, “He said yeah.” And a half hour later, you were in the car, “So how’s your racing life?” You smile, “It’s getting better.” “I watched your recent race on and off again. You did well.” “Thank you.” “Where’s your closest race?” “Suzuka, Japan, on the seventeenth of September.” “Oh, that’s a long time from now.” You nod solemnly, “But my next race is Shanghai!” “Oh, where Yanan is from!” You smile, “Yeah!” He pulls into the parking space, “You got your badges, right?” You nod, “They’ll let you in with no problem. I already informed them.” “Thank you for everything.” He smiles, and you get out and wave goodbye. 

You walk in, scan your security tag, and talk to a few people as they lead you to Pentagon’s dressing room. You thank them and see a few of the stylists, “I didn’t expect to see you so soon!” You laugh, “Surprise!” She laughs, “Here to surprise Kino and them?” You nod, “Well, all except Shinwon, he helped me organize this.” She smiles, “It’ll be a lovely surprise then.” You smile and order breakfast for everyone while you wait. It arrived fast, considering it was from the inner cafe, which was currently bustling with orders. 

You wait for the door to open and wave to the incoming boys. When Hyungggu comes in, you open your arms wide for him, “(Y/n)?! What are you doing here?” Hyunggu rushes into your open arms. You giggle as you wrap your arms around him. “I wanted to surprise you.” He nuzzles his face into your collarbone, “Best surprise ever.” You smile as you reach up and run your hands through his pink hair. “I’m glad you like it.” You eventually pull away and thank Shinwon, who shrugs and says, “It’s the least I could do.” You smile and greet the rest of them. Ensuring they all have something on their stomach before getting their makeup applied. 

“You know the best thing about having at least seven other members…” “Hmm?” He smiles, “I get more time to spend with you while I wait for an empty spot.” You laugh, “It is nice.” He leans his cheek against your arm, and you pull out your phone to watch videos together while you wait. He kisses you as he’s called to put his makeup on, and you put your phone down to watch them pretty him up. You make faces at him as they put lipstick on him, and he scrunches his nose up, trying his best not to laugh. And you grin as you make one last face, and he lets out a slight giggle as they move the brush away from him.

Yanan comes over with a smile, “I heard your next race is supposed to be in Shanghai…” You smile, “Yeah, I’m very excited about it. Do you have any suggestions of where I should visit there?” He lights up as he tells you about his hometown. You hang onto his every word and make mental notes on places to visit. As they’re called up to the stage, you tell him, “Feel free to text me more if we don’t get time to talk after this!” And he grins, “I will!” While they’re still in your head, you write some of the things he talked about. While you wished you could spend it with them, you knew the reality. And while you and Hyunggu had made it public to the media that you were together not too long ago. It still wouldn’t make the timing any better. 

You cheered them on as you watched them perform, your heart enamored by the song, seeing it more in person than before. As you wait for them to return, you ask if they have anything after this. The staff shakes their heads, “Probably resting. They have to do this tomorrow, too.” You nod, and in come the boys. You grin as you tell them they all did a fantastic job as they wait around for the call-back to do the actual recording. 

You hand Hyunggu tissues as he talks to you about your career. You shrug and tell him since you’re still starting out in the big leagues, it’s a lot to wrap your head around. And he pats your knee, “But you’ve gotten better. You just placed 17th not too long ago. That’s better than before!” You smile, “Yeah, I hope by the last race of the season, I'll be able to pull off a win.” He nods, “I know you’ll work hard until you do.” You smile, and he kisses your cheek and giggles. “You got a glossy mark on you now.” You flip your phone camera to see that he’s right. “You have to reapply your lipstick and gloss now…” He laughs, “Already had to.” You shake your head and wear it happily as he bounds into the chair. 

When he finishes the live recording and changes into his regular clothes, you ask if he can go home with you. And the others agree you have the managers escort you back, dropping you two off first before they head to drop the rest of them off. Changgu asks as you get out, “When will we see you next?” You sadly smile, “As soon as I can make time, but the next few races are a little close for a break…” He nods, “We’ll take care of Hyunggu until you return.” You put your pinky out to him and ask, “Promise?” He smiles and wraps his pinky around yours as he promises to take care of Hyunggu. “You’ll take care of yourself out on that track too.” You nod as you promise to do that, too. And with that, the door closes, and the two of you head up to your apartment. 

You ask on your way up, “Do you want to open albums with me?” He asks, “Which artist’s album did you buy?” “Yours.” He blushes, “Why?” You roll your eyes and sarcastically say, “Well, I want to be able to giggle over Yuto’s handsome pictures to someone…” Which immediately causes him to pout, and you push his arm, “I can’t wait to see how handsome you look, and I can’t wait to kiss you every time I find you handsome.” He grins and squeezes your hand as you open your apartment door, “I like that idea.” And you do just that, hiding the inclusions from yourself as you look through the photobook. You kiss his cheek every time you find him good-looking, “I never understood the appeal of someone blowing bubblegum bubbles until today!” He hides his face in your shoulder, “Baby…” You shrug, “It’s the truth! Remind me to get some bubblegum for you.” He groans, and you smirk, “Huh? Are we getting shy now?” He whines even more, and you pull him to face you, “You’re so beautiful, my love.”

When you pull away, he goes, “Thanks for the reminder…” You smile, and he wraps his arm around your waist as you pull out the photocards. Not one Kino. Which causes you to pout, “I thought you were supposed to make all my album pulls…” And he goes, “Maybe you pulled me as the poster?” And you nod as you pull away the cover to reveal Hui. “My favorite version, and I can’t pull my man… What luck…” He runs his fingers through your hair, “But you have the real deal.” You glance at him and mumble, “I guess,” which causes him to pout right back at you. You put the album aside before opening the sporty version and have better luck. 

And you do! You pull his poster, and that’s it… You pout over at him again, and he kisses your pout away. Although you happily keep the ones you’ve pulled, at least until you can trade for Kino’s. With the mild version, you open it up full of hope. You groan, “You look good in suspenders…” He laughs, “I guess?” You nod, “You do.” He smiles, and you look to see your CD case, says Wooseok. And that your cover is Yeo One, but then you squeal as you check the photocards to see you pulled not one but two Kino’s! “I was hoping I’d pull one of your cards!” He grins, and you kiss him, “Now I got something new to put in my phone case!” He smiles as you switch out your we:th card for your favorite mild card. You give him one last kiss, “Thanks for packing this one at least!” He shrugs, “I didn’t, but I was hopeful you’d pull a card of me.” You smile, and he asks for you to take a photo with him as you start putting your albums back together. 

“Why?” He smiles, “I want a new lock screen.” You laugh and pose with him cutely, and he kisses your cheek as you smile, and he goes, “Perfect.” He quickly sets it as his new photo, and you get up and put your albums and photocards away. “What do you say to some takeout?” You grin, “Good enough for me!”

—---

After a few days of relaxing, you were on the next flight out, but Hyunggu saw you off before you went. The media after you both like flies, but you didn’t bat an eye as you gave him a tight hug before checking into your flight. You saw as many sites as Yanan had listed and told him what you thought of each place. And he grinned as you sent him pictures, “It’s practically like being home.” You smiled and sent him some more before you were behind the wheel. You called Hyunggu on the way and talked to him about China and how lovely it was before strapping in and getting ready for the race. “You’ll only get better with time, I promise, my love.” You thank him for his advice as you hang up and hand your phone over. It was different not to have him walk you up and console you in person. But you supposed it would have to do. You put on your helmet and flicked it on before beginning the race and placing 18th, one placement lower than last. You sighed heavily as you got back to the pits, ashamed. They cheered you up, “You’re going to have good days and bad. Let’s pray that the next ones will be better.” And so you do. Even if it seemed silly, it still gave you some hope. 

It took several races to break the mold of being in the teens. At your race in Spielberg, Austria, you cried as you crossed the finish line. Your whole crew started cheering for you over the mic, happily congratulating you as you did. You made 10th place for the first time, and you all celebrated with a good drink. And from there, you only did better, gaining 8th at the next. And while a minor accident had led to you being in 4th at the next race, you still couldn’t believe your eyes. You did worse in Italy with 6th place, but considering it was in the tens, you couldn’t be more proud. You called Hyunggu after every race, and he celebrated every single one of your victories, and you encouraged him to continue working hard. While you couldn’t be together physically, knowing you always had each other’s support made the difference.

The next race is like a whirlwind, in the closest race you’ve raced the whole season. You placed third in Singapore. You get cheers from all of your crew. You get to be in the winner’s circle for the first time. And you laugh as you watch your fellow racer get sprayed with champagne, and you hope one day you'll experience that as you head off the pitch. You’re on the line with all of Pentagon as they cheer you on. Yuto goes, “Jinho and Hui wish for you to know they’re very proud of you too!” You grin and thank them as Hyunggu takes over and tells you how much he loves you. And how he thinks you're the 'coolest racer in the world.' And how he can’t wait to see how you’ll place in the next race if this is anything to go by. You grin as you thank him and head home, smiling the whole way to bed. 

—---

It’s seven a.m. in Suzuka, and the birds are chirping. It looks as beautiful as it sounds out there. You wonder if today will be your lucky day as you wipe your eyes. Maybe a peaceful morning would be the perfect way to spend it. After all, you have three hours before you need to be at the track. That’s until you get the call from your race engineer, “Hey, can you be out here early?” You sigh, the idea of a relaxing morning ripped away from you immediately, “Can I get a shower in before then?” He agrees, “Yeah, of course, but before nine.” You agree, groaning as you get off the call and fight your way out of the comfy bed. After a vicious battle with the blankets, you get prepared for the day. 

You walk into the pit and see your race engineer who stops you, “I’m glad you could make it this early.” You nod, “What’s it all about?” He looks down at his shoes before looking at you, “Maybe you should head into the garage…” His face doesn’t give any clues, so you assume the worst. Your car’s engine has exploded, and they don’t have a spare, which sounds outlandish to your rational mind, but it’s the only idea popping up. So, when you walk through the side entrance to see it’s pitch black, you don't know what to think. You squint as you search for the light switch, “Why the hell did he turn it off…” You flick it on and see your boyfriend and friends all happily sitting there and waiting for you. You break out into sobs, and they immediately wrap you up into a group hug.

Hyunggu asks softly, “Oh, why are you crying?” Just for him to hiccup and cry, too, which causes the softer-hearted members to cry as they hold you closer. Well, the best that they can since it is seven people surrounding one. When they break away, your tears slowly stop. And they ruffle your hair. “I’m so happy to see you all…” They all say their various agreements, and Hyunggu kisses your forehead and wipes your cheeks of any remnants of tears. “How the hell did you guys get a day off…” Hongseok answers for them all, “We’re quite persuasive, and also, Hyunggu wouldn’t stop crying to them about you.” He pouts, “I was not crying.” The others laugh, “Yeah, sure... that’s not what you were doing.” You look into his eyes and ask, “You did this for me?” He nods, “Of course I would.” You push your head into his chest as you shake with more tears. 

When you finally collect yourself, they ask you to teach them about the car. And so you do. You have them get in and try sitting in it. They do their best to get a feel for it, and you laugh as they tell you it’s uncomfortable to sit in, and you shrug, “It’s made for me. It’s not supposed to be comfortable for anyone else.” They nod, and you show them some background things and how it’s supposed to work. Your manager comes in, “Oh when he said there were a lot of people back here, I didn’t think he meant your friends.” You all laugh, and they say, “We got thirty minutes until qualifying.” You pout, “Really?” They nod, “Sorry.” You sigh, “Well, where are you guys sitting?” They tell you about the VIP rooms they secured, and you go, “You could have just asked me?” Hyunggu shakes his head, “Wouldn’t have been quite a surprise then?” You laugh, “I guess not.” The others wish you well, and before Hyunggu leaves, he kisses you before saying, “Do your best out there?” “Always. I love you.” He grins, “I love you more.” He races off to follow the others, and you get suited up for the race with ten minutes to spare. 

As qualifying finishes, you place eleventh, which is a neutral position. Not giving you any indications of how it’ll end, but you don’t mind. You have your tires changed out for mediums as you return, “Yeah, I think for this track, it’d be better to get soft last.” You converse with them and see a colorful crew sitting in the back. You remember who’s there, and without a second thought, you fly out of the car, so excited to see them all again. “It’s wild to see you guys. I just can’t believe my eyes.” They laugh and sweep you up into another hug as you all converse. 

You spend your time with them until you both have to leave. You get into race mode while they get into cheerleader mode. You nearly cry as they give you a “Just do it. Yo!” send-off. You settle back into your car, and if you were Lighting Mcqueen, you’d be giving yourself the ‘I am speed’ chant as you place your helmet on again. Rather, you’re humming the lyrics to ‘Just Do It Yo’ as you strap yourself into the seat. You get taps onto your helmet as well wishes.

Everyone brings themselves onto the track in their positions, and you sigh as you wait for them to signal you to start your engine again. You hear your engineer’s gentle encouragement as you look around at the other cars. You look up as best you can to see the stand your favorite people are in, and while you can’t see them, you can only imagine them fogging up the windows and watching. Maybe even eating the food from the stands below. You start your engine on cue and hear over your mic, “On your mark, get set, go!” 

You waste no time snaking side to side, getting your tires into the feel of the road. It isn’t until you hit that first curve that everyone starts zooming, and you’re right alongside them. In no time, you make tenth, and you can’t help but pat yourself on the back. Each lap draws you closer to the next car you speed around and eventually end up in ninth. You don’t hold back, not that you did before, but now, you have a reason to win. Maybe it was an inner show-off thing. But with your friends and boyfriend watching. You couldn’t help wanting to win even more. “And when you make this turn, you’ll be able to secure spot seven.” You agree as you gas it even further and speed around the curve. If this were an average car, you’d flip over as both accelerations changed, but you don’t let it phase you as you spin around the curve and into seventh place.

You let out a sigh of relief. Still, another thirty laps to go, and you were making good timing. You can’t see the cars in front of you just yet, so you do your best to start catching up to them. You close the gap with twenty-three more laps to go. Behind sixth, with seventh place far behind you now. You listen to your engineer make moves for you and execute them without problems as you slip in between the sixth and the red-and-white striped line. It was a little daring, but if your engineer cleared it. It was fine. After that, you take your pit stop before returning to the track. Thankfully, in front of seventh.

You watch as the fifth is doing everything to keep in that spot as they cut the corners tighter and do their best to stay right in front of you. You glare, not seeing an opening. That opening doesn’t come for another four laps. And when your engineer sees it, he has you seize it. You have no thoughts except winning on your brain as you start gaining on fourth. It takes a whole lap to catch up with them, but when you do, you waste no time as you cross the line again and take the lead in front of them. The first three were close to encountering the twentieth car as you came up behind them. 

You gulp, wanting this to go easier, and eventually, the car in the twentieth position manages to escape their grip. Making one last obstacle you’d have to encounter to become first place. It takes forever to sneak in between the third and second, and even then, she’s right on your tail. You finally lose her on lap forty, but you still have to beat second to be head-to-head with first. This would be your first-place win if only you can manage it. 

Your engineer encourages you with every step before he goes, “Hey, (Y/n), you’re going to want to hear this, don’t worry if needed, I’ll transfer the lines back, but listen to this-” And you hear the line transfer over and hear Hyunggu cheering, “Look at them go! That’s my lover, that’s my everything!!” If your heart was a little bit more fragile, you’d cry. You make moves to pass the car in front of you as he cheers, “Yeah, cut around in front of them! You got this! I believe in you!” You grin and whisper, “I’ll see you at the finish line.” He gasps, “You could hear me?” You laugh and tell him you can, and he says, “I’ll see you when you win, baby.” And with that, it transfers to your race engineer, “One more car, and you’re in the lead!” You smirk, “I know. We’re going to win today.” You hear him chuckle, “Yes we are, now gas it, and give ‘em hell, kid.” And you follow along like it’s second nature, gaining on the Ferrari-Mercedes. 

They take a tight right turn, cutting you off from speeding below him. You scoff as you follow behind them, looking for an opening, willing to take any risk if it means the big reward. And with it drawing down to the last three laps, you had to make your move, and now… You gulp as you hear, “Now!” Without a second thought, you nail it, pushing your car harder than before as you speed around them. It was terrifying. More so than the last because now you’re in the lead. If this were Mario Kart, there would be shells and hellfire raining on you right now. You sigh as your race engineer cheers you on, “Okay, just keep this up for…” As you pass the finish line again, he goes, “Two laps!” You hold back your smile, knowing if you start feeling giddy now, you'll blow the whole race. 

You don’t hesitate gaping yourself from the rest of the racers. You end up behind the twentieth car again. Who’s told over their mic to let you pass, and you do, you feel a little bad about it. But if it meant another car between you and second, then you’d take it. You pass the line again, “Last lap!” you both cheer in unison as you race around the track, eventually seeing nineteenth as you take the final curve to the finish line. And you almost can’t believe your eyes as you see the checkered flag signaling your win. You fly through not believing your eyes. The rest of the cars finish the laps they’re on before you start your lap of victory. You engineer joining the boys in their air-conditioned room. You start hearing all their cheers. You grin as you finish your lap and park your car on the finish line, excitement riddling your bones. Today marks your first big win in Formula One. You get out of your racecar as a crowd of people starts gathering around you. You stand up on top of it, raise your arms above your head, and let out a victory cheer.

You pull off your helmet and place it on the roof, catching a puff of pink in the crowd. You grin as you see Hyunggu pushing through the crowd to get you. He makes the final push as you smile. He puts his arms out to catch you, and you hop right into them. When you’re at ear level, he whispers, “That’s my baby. I’m so proud of you!” You kiss his cheek, “You gave me that extra push to want to win.” He blushes, and the crowd starts absorbing the two of you, bombarding you with questions about the race. You thank them and answer as many as possible before your crew and staff pull you and Hyunggu away. 

They take you alone to the winner’s circle, and you find Hyunggu off to the side. Your crew spills champagne over you, and you laugh as you close your eyes. And do your interviews after wiping your face with a towel. “What’s it like to win?” “Better than I imagined.” “What was the journey like getting to this point?” “Long but worth it.” They keep bombarding you, and you wait for one of them to catch their breath before you sneak out of the light. Wanting nothing more than to be out of your sticky champagne-ridden clothes. 

When you escape the camera’s eye for the second time, you see Hyunggu being interviewed. And you listen in, “Oh, Mr. Kino! We heard you were dating the winner of today’s race, (Y/n).” He goes, “Yes?” And they ask, “What’s it like to date a racecar driver?” You can’t wipe the grin off your face as he goes, “The best feeling in the world.” You come over slowly, “I’d love to talk more about my feelings for (Y/n). But it’s their day, so please shine the light on them.” You grin, and they ask you a few questions before you’re on your way again. “Want a sticky hug?” He shakes his head, “I like these clothes.” You fakely pout, “Aw, okay,” before laughing and grabbing his hand, “I’m so excited to change.” He laughs and agrees.

And you make your way back to the pit and see your crew. They hand you fresh new clothes after you wash your hands off. You head to the bathroom and quickly shower, ridding yourself of all the sparkling wine residue. Once you're all cleaned up, you come out to big cheers, pizza, and a cake. You nearly cry as you watch them light it up all for you, “For (Y/n)’s a jolly good racer, for (Y/n)’s a jolly good racer, for (Y/n)’s a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!” You laugh as you blow out the candles and thank them all. Your engineer says, “Sorry, it’s not up to par. We ordered it at the last minute when we realized you may win today.” You shake your head, tears brimming in your eyes, “It’s perfect.” He pats your head, “Good job out there, kid. Now, let’s celebrate and eat good!” You cheer as they have you sit in the middle of the two long tables they put out. 

All of you chat happily, celebrating your win. You cheer with your pop cans, “I owe it to all of you guys. If it wasn’t for you guys, I don’t know if I’d even be out on that track tonight!” They laugh, some disagree, and you take the time to thank every person seated with you. When you sit back down, Hyunggu wraps his arm around your waist as he eats his pizza happily. You finish your pizza before eventually cutting everyone a piece of cake, “A big slice for my engineer, who called all the shots.” “A big slice, for my loving boyfriend.” Your manager jokes, “It’s a big slice for everyone, isn’t it?” You smirk, “Yes, but I get the biggest!” They all laugh, and you finish cutting the cake and sit back down. And when the party ties down, you clean up after everyone, your crew leaving to enjoy the rest of the night. 

With the help of your friends, you’re able to clean up. Lastly, you put your car into neutral and push it back into the garage before parking and leaving. As everyone heads to their cars, you ask, “What hotel are you guys staying at?” “The APA” You grin, “Me too!” Hyunggu hops into your car immediately, “I can’t even begin to explain the joy I felt seeing you this morning.” He smiles, “I’m so glad I could surprise you.” “Best surprise ever.” He squeezes your hand, and you drive back to your hotel. You meet back up with the guys and talk for a while in the lobby before you let out a yawn, which causes a chain reaction. As you guys start heading for your rooms, Yuto asks, “We’re going to make the trip over to Nagano, my hometown, tomorrow if you want to come with us?” You smile, “I’d love to.” Hyunggu makes no effort to follow the boys, “You’re all mine tonight?” He smirks, and as the elevator door closes, he goes, “Yeah, and I have just the idea on how to celebrate your win~”

—---

Your next races weren’t as successful as the Suzuka race, but you didn’t mind too much. After all, considering all the celebrating. The little trip you got to spend with the seven of them in Nagano while it wasn’t long. It made you feel refreshed, and nothing could change that. Your giddy feeling didn’t fade no matter your placement, even when you placed 11th in Brazil. You were proud you had made it either way. Maybe you weren’t winning a cup for your performance, but it was a wonderful feeling to say you won a race in the Grand Prix. Your last place in Abu Dhabi was 2nd, and you finished on a good note, too. And you couldn’t help but feel more accomplished as you returned home. 

You get off the plane, excited to be back home. You make your way to the exit when you see someone holding a sign with your name. “Welcome home, (Y/n)!” You get up closer and see it’s their manager. He smiles as you reach him, “The boys sent me to get you.” You grin, “Thanks,” He grabs your luggage and says, “Allow me to take that. The car is waiting for us.” You smile and thank him again as you make your way there. He opens the door for you, you get inside, and he quickly shuts it. You decide where to sit and look back to the backseat to see a grinning Hyunggu. You gasp, and he cheers, “Welcome home!” You waste no time getting into the furthest seat back and flinging your arms around him as the trunk pops and his manager puts away your luggage. Hyunggu giggles as the tailgate shuts, and you smile, “I’m so happy to be home.” He squints at you, “But you’re not at your apartment?” You smile and kiss his nose, “I’m in your arms. That’s home enough for me.” He laughs, “You cheese ball.” 

His manager pops into the driver's seat, shuts the door, and you separate enough to put your seatbelt on. Still holding his hand, he goes, “Do you want to celebrate with the guys today or tomorrow?” You think, “Tomorrow, I’m kind of tired.” He nods, “I figured you would be. Tomorrow it is then.” His manager starts driving you back to your apartment, “So, tell me all about your past racing experiences.” You smile and lean your head on his shoulder as you try to recount everything back to him. He listens well, making sure you know with little hums of agreement when necessary. You continue until you’re almost back, “And that’s pretty much everything you’ve missed. What about the guys?” He laughs as he tells you about their laser tag adventures and how you should come along next time. As you hop out of the car, he gets your luggage, and you both thank his manager, who tells you guys to be safe. You both laugh as you remind him you will. 

You walk up to your apartment hand in hand. And Hyunggu finishes his stories before you reach the door. He asks, “You wanted ramen when you came home, right?” You go, “Yeah,” He nods, “Great, 'cause I ordered some.” You smile as you unlock the door and head inside. You put away your stuff, clean your luggage case, and throw your clothes into the dryer. Hyunggu pulls out the takeout and heats it as you clean up. Lastly, you pull out your trophy and smile at it. You didn’t come home a world champion trophy holder, but you came home with a Grand Prix race trophy, and you couldn’t be more proud to display it. You place fake daisies inside and shine the outside up before putting it into a glass cabinet. 

Hyunggu comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, “I’m so proud of you, baby.” You smile and lean into his hug, “Thank you.” You turn your head to kiss him, and he grins as he kisses you back, “We’ve made it.” He smiles, “I think so.” You hold one of his hands in yours and squeeze it, and he does it back, “Yes?” You smile, “I’m so glad I have you.” He kisses your nape and says, “I’m grateful I have you too.” You smile, and the two of you stand in front of your display case. Inside, sitting side by side is his replica of their ‘Show!’ award and your Suzuka triumph. Through the trials and tribulations, you both came out victorious together. And the rewards were just a mere show of that. The love you held for each other through it all was the true testament of it all.

#kino #kino x reader #kino fluff #hyunggu #hyunggu x reader #pentagon fluff #kang hyunggu #kang hyungggu x reader #pentagon #pentagon x reader #hyunggu fluff #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #ptg #ptg x reader #kino x you #hyunggu x you #pentagon x you #long fic #pentagon fanfic #kino fanfic #pentagon kino #kino pentagon #pentagon fic #kino fic #fluff #angst? #suggestive? #strangers to lovers

[adachicuto]

happy birthday kino

warning(s): food and tattoo mention

the morning of his birthday, you’d wake up to find hyunggu asleep with his laptop right in the middle of the bed. it would amaze you how neither of you knocked it over, especially with how bad hyunggu would sleep. his phone would still would be in his hand and you’d have to put everything up

you’d be in the middle of doing your morning routine when hyunggu would finally wake up to find you. he’d pull you into a back hug and his chin would rest on your shoulder for a minute as you take in the silence of your apartment. then you’d remember your plans for the day and you quickly finish up and gesture for hyunggu to hurry up and get ready

to say hyunggu would be confused would be an understatement. it would take everything in you to not burst out laughing at the look he would give you and he looked even funnier since he would be half awake

while he’d finish getting ready, you’d make a quick breakfast and make your favorite beverages to start the day. over breakfast, hyunggu would show you all of the funny texts the rest of ptg would send him and of course, they would all be hilarious and the audio messages would almost leave him breathless

afterward, you’d both put on your shoes and jackets to leave your apartment and the whole way down the elevator hyunggu would repeatedly ask you where the two of you would be going and your only response would be to shrug and he’d shake his head at you

the two of you would arrive at your destination just in time and hyunggu’s face would go from confusion to understanding and he’d turn to face you as you’d climb out of the car like wow?? really?? lol

so, you go into the tattoo parlor and look through some possible designs and after a few minutes, you’d both decide on something. it wouldn’t be matching couple’s tattoos but more of things that represent hope to each of you

like hyunggu would choose a really cool sunrise design because to him a sunrise would mean a chance to start over and he’d help you choose something if you’d have a tough time deciding on something and you’d both be really happy with the results

after that you’d go meet up with ptg for lunch and to show them your tattoos and they’d all compliment your tattoos and hyunggu would get a little shy when you’d thank him for helping with the design lol and of course, the others would notice and start teasing him

after you’d all finish eating, a server would bring out a cupcake with a candle on it and you and all of ptg would sing happy birthday and it would get a bit crazy but someone would manage to get everyone to calm down

later that evening you’d pull out your laptop to show hyunggu a song you were working on. it wouldn’t be perfect by any means but to him, it would be. especially if that isn’t something you do, the thought would be what would count the most. then you’d give him his other gifts which would consist of a few books he’d been wanting to get and a cologne

the rest of the night would consist of impromptu dance battles around your living room and kitchen and singing with remotes as microphones and hyunggu would be beyond happy at how he’d get to spend his special day

#pentagon #pentagon imagines #pentagon scenarios #pentagon fluff #ptg #ptg fluff #ptg scenarios #ptg imagines #kino #kino scenarios #kino imagines #kino fluff #kang hyunggu #kang hyunggu scenarios #kang hyunggu imagines #kang hyunggu fluff #pentagon kino #ptg kino #sorry if it's all over the place

[kpopjust4u]

Let’s give it a shot

Post Date: 16th May 2022 Content: Fluff (a tiny wheeny bit of angst) - Pentagon Kino x Reader WC: 1614 TW?: Nothing but absolute cuteness Request?: Yes

Masterlist                                    Prompt list

Prompts:  30 - “I’ve always cared about you” 58 - “We’re just friends” 61 - “Get out of my head”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” you exclaim, accidentally tipping your iced americano over a tall, handsome guy, from rushing to get out of the coffee shop to meet your best friend across the town. “It’s no problem, just a bit of coffee, right?” he says sweetly, taking hold of some napkins to pat himself down, smiling at you as you found yourself mesmerised by his beauty, and smile that made you stop in your tracks. 

“I really want to apologise, let me buy you a coffee?” you say, embarassed, cheeks turning red from embarrassment, “I’d like that, thank you~” he nods. You take part of the queue with you as you pay for his order, then taking a seat with him, forgetting completely about the plans eith your friend after messaging them, ‘something’s come up, I’m sorry, can we reschedule?’, luckily, they we’re struggling to leave their house anyway. 

“I- I’m Y/N” you reach your hand out to shake his, the mesmirastion hasn’t worn off and you were still smitten, almost forgetting to introduce yourself. His hand takes yours, shaking it gently as he smiles, taking a sip from his coffee, “I’m Kino”. You guys get chatting, time passing by quick, to the point where the coffee shop had to kick you out.

“Thank you so much for today, again, I’m really sorry about the coffee incident” you apologise as he shrugs, laughing at you, “It’s okay, thank you for the coffee. I really enjoyed today, I would love to do it again, here’s my number,” he says, his thumbs tapping on his phone, showing you his number for you to copy into yours. Mentally, you were freaking out, the cute guy you’ve known a day has given your number, but outside, you were so glad he was so nice about everything, “Nice to meet you Kino, I hope we become good friends,” “Me too, I know we will be!” he grins, waving as he walks away. 

From that point on, you were exactly that, good friend, though better yet, the bestest friends. You became inseperatable, your feelings just increased for him but you were scared of ruining what you guys had.

- Time skip -

“Hey! What did I tell you about that?!” Kino shouts from across the room, as you kept spamming his phone with photos you’ve taken of him with weird filters, clutching your stomach from crying so hard. The more he reacted, the better the photos became and you found yourself to the point of being able to breath. 

Seeing him pouting with his arms crossed made it harder for you to keep a serious face as he slowly makes his way towards you, putting a hand out, with a grabbing motion to indicate you to give you his phone. When you scoff at him, he smirks, throwing himself onto you, tackling you to get your phone away from you, almost giving up until he gets the idea to tickle you, cuasing to scream with you wiggle under him, “Okay, okay! Here’s my phone!” you cry with laughter, struggling to get the phone from underneath you. “Thank you” he says shortly, pouting again as he puts your phone in his pocket, letting you catch your breath.

“Will you love birds quit it?” Dawn whines, playfully covering his eyes as he makes his way to the kitchen, as you and Kino exchange looks, shrugging as he replies, “Ya! We’re just friends!”. Hearing Kino say that out load made your stomach sink, reminding you that you may never have a chance with him. Your thoughts run through your mind as your face reflects your feelings, pouting as you look down into your lap. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Kino asks, nudging you a little to see if you react, nothing. He waves his hand infront of your face which seemed to do the trick, you shrug and play it off cool, though he knew deep down something was bugging you but he didn’t want to pry. “I just want my phone!” you say softly, with grabby hands as he sighs, rolling his eyes at you as he places it in your lap, happy to see your smile return onto your face. Then back to your antics it was, but he let it slide, knowing you were probably trying to cover your emotions up with something. 

Slowly throughout the day, and into the evening the boys come and go from the apartment, joining in with you picking on Kino and/or playing games whilst you watched. It continued on for ages, to the point it gets to playing truth or dare, but who went first between you and Kino, had to be determined by a game of rock, paper, scissors, but that was a joke and a half. 

The sound of the members groaning at the fact you were taking forever, since you kept pulling the same shapes and constantly having to repeat made you both giggle. “Come on, lose!” you both say at the same time, your eyes open as wide as your mouth hitting the floor, not expecting to jinx either. The boys were rolling on the floor around you, crying laughing at the fact you both were a lot similar than you thought to the point you even say the same shit at the same time. “Now!” you exclaim at the same time again, before Yan An counts you down quickly to throw another shape, causing Kino to lose to you. “Rock beats scissors, loser~” you tease as he’s still in shock, clutching at his chest dramatically as he falls back laughing. 

After composing himself, he sits himself up as he looks at you, “You’re going to say truth anyway,” you start as he nods, “Is it true that you think that I could be a better rapper than Wooseok?” you start laughing as he tries to hold back his laughter, Wooseok snapping his head to look at you both, as Kino breaks, laughing as he gets in the possition to get ready to run after his answer, “Yes” he admits, laughing as you both shout at the same time, “Run!”. 

Scrambling to get a start, you both make a dash towards the apartment door, running down the three flights of stairs and into the street, afraid that Wooseok was going to chase after you, but you see him walking slowly behind you, with the other members following behind, struggling to breath from giggling and running, you make another dash seeing Wooseok opening the door. Almost tripping over each other, you hide down an alley way, trying to catch your breaths as you hear the boys calling out for you both. “You’ve seriously got to get out of my head, now you’re stuck hiding with me because I answered your question!” Kino giggles, putting his arms up ready for submission as you get caught by the boys, you following suit and laughing. “You’re buying me food later, for that Kino!” Wooseok bites playfully, pointing a finger at him.

- Time Skip - 

It starts to get extemely late, you’ve had a fun and hectic day with the boys, and enjoyed the free food, paid by Kino who felt it was only fair to buy for everyone, though Wooseok was only trying to joke about. However it was lovely, but you were getting tired, and ready for bed. “Guys, I’m going to walk Y/N home, I’ll catch up to you in a bit” Kino says softly, as they nod, waving at you and saying their goodbyes, knowing they were going to see you soon enough anyway. Dawn piping up again about you being love birds, but the other members agreed with him as you guys walk away, you would make a great couple. 

“Thank you for walking me home, Ki, but you really didn’t need you to” you start, looking up at him as he shrugs, “What was I going to do, let you walk alone at night? No sir, not happening” he replies, crossing his arms as he senses you weren’t feeling right. You remember his comment to Dawn earlier, trying to hold back tears as you turn around to open your apartment door. “Why not? Not like it would’ve mattered?” you choke, opening the door, trying to take a step inside but he grabs your shoulders to turn you around.

“Why would you say that? It does matter because I care about you, I’ve always cared about you!” fustration builds up in him as he lets go of his grip on your shoulders, shaking his head. “Did I upset you this morning?” he asks, in a low, quiet tone, “I noticed your mood dropped when Dawn said about us-”, “It’s nothing Kino! Why would that affect me? Don’t be so stupid!” you scoff, trying to hide the truth behind a facade. In reality, it hurt you so much. Again, to your response, he shakes his head, lifting your head up to look at him when you drop it in defeat. “In fact, I don’t just care about you, I love you. That’s why I notice these little things, the change in your mood in your facial expressions.” he perks up softly, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as a tear falls from your eyes.

Gently, he wipes it away as he pulls you into a hug, “I love you Y/N, you’re my best friend, and I know I should’ve told you sooner but I’ve always loved you, since I layed my eyes on you,” he whispers, running his fingers through your hair in attempt to calm you down, all you could feel is relief as you pull away, “I love you too~”. 

#kpop #kpop blog #kpop stuff #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #pentagon #pentagon imagines #pentagon reactions #pentagon scenarios #pentagon kino #kino #kino fluff #kino scenario #kino imagine #kang hyunggu #pentagon x reader

[r4rw1ngd1n0]

After battle, it when cold, Ami gets a free jacket.

#fanart #sailor moon #art #anime #digital art #makoto kino #ami mizuno #sailor jupiter #sailor mercury #makoami #cute #sailor moon fanart #makoto x ami #still can’t draw #fluff #borrowing jacket #prompt #soft #it’s good for once #i love this #fyp

[blueberrypancakesworld]

What do the Tsukinami brothers and Kino do when you cry ?

masterlist

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Carla : The blood-red moon stood high in the night sky above the home of three brothers and their guest. How long had it been since she had landed with them? It seemed to be forgotten just as quickly as the moon that kept coming and disappearing. With each night, not only the hours seemed to pass, but also her actual destination. She only wanted to stay for a short time and then move on to another stop and yet it had now been many full moons. While the lady saw this rather critically, the two brothers seemed to find it rather pleasant. The heartbeat of the human woman seemed to be a wake-up call in the infinite silence of their house. Not to mention the bewitchingly attractive smell of blood that emanated from her. There had never been any violence and yet she was sure that she could always feel their eyes on her. But this was not the reason why she went towards Carla's room with a few school books and exercise books. She just needed help with her homework this time and since Shin seemed to have found pleasure in teleporting away just before she had him, she had no choice but to go to Carla. She had deep respect for the old vampire. Even if she did not deny that she liked him very much. There was something about him that attracted her on so many different levels. When she arrived at his door she knocked but got no answer. A muffled cough pierced the wood and made her wonder. ,,Carla?" she asked, but again received no answer. Carefully she grasped the doorbell and pushed it down before stepping into the room. Horror was in her eyes when she saw the chaos. It was as if someone had bumped into everything in a fit and torn out all the things and broken them. But what made her heart ache was the sight of Carla kneeling in the middle of the mess and coughing. ,,Carla!" she said hastily and stepped towards him. ,,Stay...away!" he hissed so coolly and threateningly that for a moment she was truly afraid of him. Only when he looked at her did she see the deep red eyes flashing out from under the light lashes. She felt the desire to help him. ,,Let me help you," she said and tried to walk towards him. But before she could take a second step, her books were suddenly torn from her hands and he set them on fire with his power. ,,I said leave!" he shouted and she heard the struggle in his voice. The fear of his Endzeit and the rejection hurt her. She said nothing but the tears that had come to her eyes showed him as a silluette. ,,I'm sorry," she said before running out of the room. Leaving a pained Carla alone, looking sadly at the ashes of the books.

She didn't know if it was hours or minutes that had passed. Tears were still running down her cheeks from despair. I only wanted to help you she thought bitterly and sniffled. She winced as there was a sudden knock at her door. ,,May I come in," she heard Carla's voice. ,,Yes," she said so softly that it was almost a whisper, even though the vampire had heard her. Only a blink of an eye later, Carla was standing beside her bed, holding something behind his back. ,,What...do you want?" she asked, wiping away her tears. Her face showed surprise when the older man suddenly knelt down in front of her and held out the new books. ,,Please forgive me Y/n...I was too reluctant to accept your help. I didn't want you to see me like this, please forgive me " he said and looked down in shame. Hesitantly she picked up the books and saw that he had bought her a new one. ,,I was scared...but it's fine, I'll stay with you next time " she said resolutely and pulled him into a hug. ,,Thank you Carla" she said softly and she felt the cool hand stroking her back for a moment. For a moment he seemed to be cured of Endzeit by his feelings for her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Shin : It was night, but the bright white stars were hidden by the many clouds. Only the blood-red moon shone high in the sky. The Tsukinami's home was quiet, as it almost always was. But only their human guest was awake and in the process of packing her bags. She knew it was time to go when she couldn't even remember her arrival, it had been too long. And yet it couldn't have been more than a few months at the most, could it?

How long had she been here under the roof of the two Tsukinam brothers Carla and his younger brother Shin. She liked them both, the one calmer and the younger one more excited. But they were both always friendly to her in their own way. But she didn't know if she could live a life surrounded by them. She just wanted to go out. But they had warned her that there would be dangers out there. Especially for a human woman like her. She had only taken their concern half seriously. What could be out there but a few animals. She put the last piece of clothing in the suitcase before closing it and leaving her room. From there she went into the main hall and pulled a letter out of her bag. A short explanation of where she was going and when she would be back. It's time to go she thought and was about to open the door when it closed again with a hard jerk. Surprised, she looked behind her and saw a confused and uncertain looking Shin. ,,What are you doing?" the older man asked, sounding unhappy. ,,I'm going outside...I appreciate everything you've done but I've been here too long," she said, looking at the letter in confusion. But instead of a good word, she heard the click of the lock closing the door. ,,Shin, please open the door," she said and rolled her eyes. Sometimes she envied their powers, but he only came closer and crossed his arms before snatching the suitcase from her hand in the blink of an eye. ,,Hey, give it to me, I'm not a prisoner!" she said indignantly at his rather childish and unreasonable behaviour. ,,You can't go out, not at night, it's too dangerous," he said and wanted to leave again. ,,Not today! When then, how many times have you said that?" she said, upset, fear and hopelessness spreading through her heart. ,,I'll say it so many times until you understand it's dangerous out there...let's play something...a little distraction" he tried to convince her and smiled at her. In the past she would have said yes and fallen for that grin but now. She just wanted to leave. She shook the door but it did not budge. ,,Why are you doing this to me?" she asked, her vision blurred by the tears that were slowly forming. ,,You have no idea," he replied more quietly. Disappointed and hurt, she shook the door one last time before she went past him crying, trying to come to terms with her fate.

But her will was not broken, instead she seemed to be waiting for the next attempt. It was a risky attempt. But she did not want to stay here. Not after the way she had been treated. Tying the varnish of her bed together and attaching it to her balcony, she climbed down in a situation she would never normally do. Only when she reached the bottom did she exhale shakily from the exertion and brief fear. She looked around and yet all she saw was the forest around her and the moon. ,,It's...peaceful," she murmured before she started to move away from the house. She didn't understand what was wrong with Shin, everything was fine. Only when she went further into the forest and heard several cracking noises in the wood did she stop. An animal ? she asked herself and looked around uncertainly. Only when she heard rapid fluttering noises did she look up. Six large bats were apparently flying above her as if they were watching her. That was what she wanted to do, but when she heard a growl and howl behind her, she flinched. A wolf jumped out of the darkness and stood protectively in front of her. ,,Shin," she said, pleased and yet still stunned. The bats fluttered above them for a moment before Shin began to snap at them. Only then did the six vampires seem to retreat. ,,Thank you," she said weakly as she realised the danger of the situation. ,,I didn't want to lock you up, I just wanted to protect you," said Shin who had turned back. ,,I should have explained...I'm sorry," he said, his eye showing guilt. ,,You could have left me to them...but you didn't, thank you," she said before Shin suddenly pulled her into a tight hug. ,,How about I show her the forest now, scaredy-cat?" he said teasingly and was already back in his wolf form. But only to hide the expression of happiness that she was doing well.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Kino : The believed illegitimate son of the vampire king meeting what began as a mere coincidence quickly became an intimate friendship. A creature and a human woman an unusual duo among the many other species. But it did not bother either of them. They had each other and that was a good thing. But besides the goal of becoming vampire king, he seemed to want to make everyone who had made him suffer in his life suffer as well. A habit she found hard to resent. But what she felt was an unfair choice. His powers were enormous, some rumoured they were even equal to Karlheinz. She herself had never seen said she was only human and even if Kino had already drunk from her she knew that she still knew little of the vampires. Which is why she relied on Kino to protect her and she helped him to get closer to his goal. As it always seemed in this new world for them, the blood-red moon shone brightly in the sky. It shone through the large windows of the dwelling. It shone on her and bathed her in a dark red as well. Her gaze wandered over the landscape before she heard the creaking of wooden thieves behind her. ,,Ki-" she was about to say his name when she turned around and saw the familiar blue eyes of a blond man. ,,You?" she said, confused, as she recognised Shu, whom she had stumbled across in the course of her journey. Also an acquaintance by chance and yet she liked the sleepy blond he had helped her to find her way around. ,,Not so loud, I-" he was about to explain when he was suddenly thrown against one of the huge walls by an invisible force. The blond gave a pained hiss and Y/n was about to run to him when Kino stood in her way. She saw the disgust in his eyes. ,,He's not worth it," the stronger one said and saw the horrified expression in the human woman's eyes. ,,Kino, he is not evil, he helped me!" she tried to appeal to him. But Kino only shook his head. ,,No, he's not like me, he's beneath me, he's like that scum back then," he said angrily and she knew what he had to suffer in his youth. Her gaze went to Shu who had stood up again in the meantime. Emotions overcame her and tears welled up in her eyes. ,,Kino, please let him go," she pleaded as she saw the stronger Shu hurl him aside again. Only when she grabbed Kino's wrist and tried to pull him towards her did she feel a pain in her shoulder. She realised only when she was on the ground that he had pushed her away with considerable strength. Only gradually did he seem to realise what he had done. ,,Y/n... I" he tried, but by then she had already risen to her feet and saw that Shu had used this moment to disappear. ,,Leave me," she said and wiped away her tears. A few days had passed since the incident and she felt the disappointment and discomfort inside her. Once again she stood in the large room. The walls were still riddled with the cracks and dents of the impact, but Shin had cleaned up with his powers. It was only when she heard the vampire's footsteps and turned to face him that she knew it was him. ,,What do you want?" she asked, her tone disappointed. The older one seemed almost overtaken by the situation. Before he suddenly said, ,,I'm sorry...I-I should have listened to you". She raised an eyebrow but when she saw him looking down in shame and regret at his upset state, she knew he meant it. ,,I know what you have been through, Kino. But please try to understand just because you are more powerful doesn't mean you automatically have to fight him," she explained, almost feeling like she was talking to a stubborn child. Who doesn't get his lollipop because he teased. ,,Okay...I'll try," he said and crossed his arms. ,,I didn't mean to push you away," he added and for a moment he seemed more agonised. ,,It's okay...it's going to be okay," she said and took his hand in hers. ,,I mean, we still have a goal," she joked and all at once he hugged her. His face was illuminated by the red moon and covered the slightly rosy cheeks he got. By the forgiveness of his dear friend.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hope you like it

#diabolik lovers #x reader #fluff #carla tsukinami #shin tsukinami #tsukinami brothers #diabolik lovers kino #shin tsukinami x reader #carla tsukinami x reader #kino x reader #angst #hurt/comfort #male x female #angst with comfort

[crawlspacefics]

Definitions of Longing and Desire - Throwback Thursday Edition

Post-baby hormones, a Nike t-shirt, and a six week wait from hell.

A quick side story in the Fate series set between stories 1 and 2. This time with Sailor Doc as co-author. I remember having a ton of fun doing this. So much so, I married her. 😁

           Makoto hummed softly as she paced slowly back and forth in front of the open balcony doors.  Miki rested against her shoulder, quiet now that his belly was full and his diaper dry.  She patted his back lightly as they walked, and he hiccupped one more time before completely drifting off to sleep.  Makoto continued to pace with him for a few more minutes, enjoying the peace and warm weight of him as a gentle breeze blew in through the screen.

            Releasing a huge yawn, Makoto stopped moving and chuckled softly.  “I think I might need a nap, too,” she whispered.  “The rest of the laundry can wait until another day, don’t you think, Little Bug?”

            After getting the baby settled in his bassinet, she pulled him over closer to the couch and stretched out herself.  Pulling one of the throw pillows against her, she stared up at the ceiling.  They’d brought the baby home for the first time last Thursday.  The first day had been easy, with everyone there, and they’d survived the next three on their own more or less intact, with a routine beginning to emerge from the early chaos.  Today, though, was the real test for all three of them:  Ami’s first day back at school.

            Makoto turned over onto her side, still hugging the pillow.  She reached into the bassinet until her finger brushed against Miki’s hand.  His tiny fist flexed, then closed around his mother’s finger.  Makoto smiled.

            “We can handle a few hours on our own,” she said softly.  “I still miss Ami, though, and I bet she misses us, too.”  Sleepy eyes blinked slowly, then focused on Ami’s desk.  She stared at the little, top right drawer for a few seconds, then answered her own internal questions.  “I shouldn’t.  I mean, she keeps it hidden in there for a reason.  It’s not my fault she left it laying on the nightstand that one morning, and I just happened to read it while she was gone.  Besides, I’m the one who bought her the book to begin with.  And it’s not like it’s a diary or anything really personal.”

            That small debate decided, Makoto carefully removed her finger from Miki’s grip and moved over to the desk.  She stood in front of it for a moment, her hand poised over the drawer handle.  Then she sighed and her arm dropped to her side, her conscience and the image of Ami’s trusting face getting the better of her.  Going back to the couch empty handed, she lay back down and reclaimed her pillow.  This time, when her eyes closed, they didn’t open again.  Instead, her mind wandered back to the book with the butterfly and her favorite story involving a girl with blue eyes behind wire rimmed glasses and the person she wanted most.

#makoami #makoto kino #ami mizuno #a bit of domestic fluff #in a Nike t-shirt #wlw #sailor moon fanfiction #crawl's fics #cruelty and fairness of fate

[einssteins]

Noch ein (diesmal nicht ganz so kleines) fix-it, als was-wäre-wenn... es diese Party-Szene nicht gegeben hätte

#eigentlich wollte ich sie nur noch mal zusammen ins kino schicken aber dann ist das draus geworden #als nächstes gibt's dann hoffentlich fluff #schloss einstein

[multiphandomunnies]

pentagon

reactions

accidentally seeing their gf naked

found out the wrong way social media au intros

found out the wrong way part one

found out the wrong way part two

found out the wrong way part three

found out the front way part four

s.o getting shy when they kiss

imagines

jinho

hongseok

flustered

hui

e’dawn

365 so stress

how cute

shinwon

yeo one

yanan

too much effort

kino

yuto

something special (*M*)

technology free

lovers night

wooseok

give it a rest

#pentagon #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop reacts #kpop reactions #pentagon imagines #pentagon reacts #pentagon reactions #pentagon scenarios #hongseok #hui #jinho #e’dawn #shinwon #yeoone #yanan #kino #yuto #wooseok #ptg #ptg reacts #ptg fluff #ptg imagines #ptg reactions #ptg scenarios #ptg angst #ptg kpop

[tastybluesprite]

A wild night

Finally did it!!! I’m a bit nervous to post this because it’s a webtoon that isn’t big enough that many people would know. But if you are curious I encourage you to check it out. It’s called Love Stuck made by jayck34. The entire cast is just so amazing and I love the dynamics. Wanted to write some fluff for it because it’s been a major comfort series for me as of late.

Main characters: Kino, Jake

Side characters: Jordan, Isabel, Noel

Summery: Jake reveals the best way to make his stoic and introverted friend laughs. Naturally, chaos ensues. Enjoy.

Warnings: This fic contains tickling and massive amounts of sweet and adorable fluff. If that is not your thing feel free not to read. <3

If you told Kino that he’d end up making friends, especially some being extroverts, he likely would’ve called you crazy (and probably would’ve call the cops).

Point it, Kino had some major changes to his life ever since college started.

“Omg Jordan you have to see this!” Isabel cried, amusement painted across her face.

Jordan bursted into chuckles, as she watched the video. They were having a little midnight hang out at Jordan’s apartment. Eating junk food and chatting about whatever. Kino, although part of him wanting to just stay home figured, why not? He was trying to make changes for the better after all (also Jake basically dragged him along).

It was a casual friendly hang out. Jordan, Isabel, Noel, Jake, and Kino (they tried to invite Rowe, but he had other things to do apparently).

Jordan smirked “Why don’t you show Kino? Make him laugh for a change.”

Kino felt a light blush on his face at the sudden attention put on him.

“No thanks. I’m good.” Kino managed.

“Awe Cmon Kino you can show everyone your laugh!” Jake said happily with his cheeky smile.

“Woah, so Kino can laugh? Color me shocked. How does one even manage such a task?”

Jake chuckled “Oh sure he can! Take it from me. I’ve known him since we were in elementary school, and I know basically everything about him. Including how to make him laugh.”

Kino shot his best friend a glare as if to say you better not fucking dare.

He was sad to say that Jake did indeed know a shit ton about him.

“Ohh? So what may that be?” Isabel chimed in.

“Well… for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been ridiculously ticklish.” Just as Kino was about to make a break for it, Jake managed to grab him by his sweater sleeve and pull him back down.

The girls watched as the two best friends seemed to struggle with one another. Kino looked like he was about to murder Jake. Meanwhile Noel grew completely flushed. However only the girls really knew about her crush on Kino.

“Really? I didn’t think Kino was the type.” Jordan commented with a smirk. Eventually Jake managed to get the raven head down on his back, straddling him and firmly pushing down at his shoulders to keep him in place.

“Jake if you don’t fucking let me go right now…”

“Sorry Kino my man, but this is way too worth it.”

He then abandoned his shoulders to dig through his sweatshirt.

Kino jammed his lips shut. I couldn’t believe Jake would actually do this. Actually scratch that. He could totally believe Jake would do this. He would not allow himself to be humiliated in front of three other people whom he only just managed to befriend not too long ago. And girls at that!

All he could do is squirm and writhe around under Jake as he gripped at his wrists tightly, trying to dislodge them off him.

Unfortunately Jake managed to slip his fingers up to his mid ribs and Kino cracked.

“Jahahake nohohoho…” Kino bursted into rare giggles. A noise Jake didn’t hear from him too often, even when it was just them.

His face also morphed into a wide smile.

“Awweee his giggles are so adorable! Don’t you think Noel???” Isabel grinned cheekily, lightly elbowing Noel’s side. Noel had to fight to keep herself from burning out with how flustered she was. Clearly she found all of this very cute.

Kino on the other hand wasn’t doing any better. His face lit up bright red like a tomato.

“Y’all wanna join in? Plenty of Kino for everyone!”

Dammit Jake I’m not some feast waiting to be devoured!

Jordan and Isabel giggled and added their own hands. Jordan slipping under his sweatshirt to scribble her nails across his soft and toned belly, while Isabel lightly dusted her fingers against his neck.

Wether Kino was in heaven or hell he couldn’t quite say. All he knew was that his laughter and squirming increased tenfold and he felt ticklish tingles all over his body.

“Jake, since you’ve known him for a long time, do you happen know where he’s most ticklish?” Jordan asked mischievously. Although Kino was in the middle of basically dying, his eyes managed to glare at him through his laughter.

Don’t you fucking dare.

Jake grinned. “Of course I do! He has a little spot right here…”

Jake slipped his hands under his sweatshirt and began massaging his lowest ribs.

Kino… well the best word for it was “exploded.”

“JAHAHAHAKE YOU FUHUHAHAHAHA!!!” Kino arched his back and writhed more desperately.

Kino was completely lost in laughter, forgetting his audience as his brain knew nothing but the horrible electric shock coming from his lowest rib. No matter how hard he tried to pull Jakes hands off him the laughing had completely sapped him of his strength.

All he could do at this point was lay there and take it.

Soon Jake stopped. He may be cruel but he wasn’t evil. Kino was an absolute flustered mess, trying hard to regain his composure.

Soon catching his breath, he slowly sat up.

“S-sorry Kino… y-you understand I had to right… hehe…?” Jake mumbled nervously.

Kinos glare was so terrifying even the other three felt fear from it.

“Welp sorry ladies I gotta go and save myself now.”

“JAKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!” And they were off. Kino hot on Jakes trail as they played cat and mouse all around the apartment building.

Soon they could hear bright and bubbly hysterical laughter from one of the bedrooms.

“Should we help Kino now?” Isabel asked.

Jordan shrugged and smiled “I suppose it’s only fair. Besides I don’t want to get his wrath next.”

“I’m sorry is that your way of admitting you’re ticklish?” Isabel teased, poking the darker haired girls side.

“Hehey! Let’s just go and get him. You comin’ Noel?”

Noel was still a bit flustered but a small smile appeared on her face and she nodded. Safe to say Jake learned his lesson that night. And Kino ended up letting the girls off the hook for helping him out.

#sprite🥤 #tickling #tickle fic #love stuck #webtoon #love stuck webtoon #lee!kino #ler!jake #ler!jordan #ler!isabel #kino norde #sfw tickling community #sfw tickling #sfw tickle fluff #tickle fluff

[jinkoh]

butterscotch yellow

kino/hyunggu x gn!reader

“Still, I can't believe you didn't even tell us. No use crying over spilled milk but you'll have to tell us all about how it happened, y/n. I mean you hated his guts.” Just when you realized that Hyunggu and you hadn't agreed on a backstory yet, a voice sounded from behind you. “Hate is such a strong word, don’t you think?”

summary: for reasons you can't quite understand you end up fake dating the one guy you absolutely can't stand—and even more perplexing: you also end up falling in love with him

word count: 19,5k Tags: fake dating, rivals (?) to lovers, college au, hurt/comfort, a little smut (minors dni); Warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: actually this story was first inspired by prompt 27 from this post: the way you said "I love you"—A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips. And then it accidentally became almost 20k and the original prompt isn't even all that present anymore. Anyway I hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

Everyone loved Hyunggu. He was kind and charming and beautiful and helpful and whichever other amazing traits could be attributed to a person. Anyone would attest to how perfect he was

—and you couldn’t for the life of you understand why. Even your friends genuinely liked him and, what irked you even more, couldn’t grasp why you didn’t. If anything, they thought your constant bickering was amusing.

To your demise you weren’t only sharing the same major, no, you were also together on the student council. There was really no escaping him.

It wasn’t like you were a negative person by nature. But something about Hyunggu just rubbed you the wrong way, you felt annoyed by his mere presence.

Maybe you were just a bit more sensitive  these days, but considering that you only just went through a pretty ugly break up with your boyfriend it was only natural.

So, when you went to the atelier between two of your classes in hopes of getting some peace and quiet while working on your final assignment,  you weren’t exactly pleased to see someone else already there and even less pleased that it was Hyunggu.

He looked up when you walked in, only just stepping out from behind one of the art supply racks, his hair slightly ruffled.

You couldn’t suppress a sigh at his sight, but he just grinned.

“Nice to see you too, y/n.”

Just when you thought you couldn’t have been more annoyed at the situation, a girl stumbled out from behind the shelf, hastily readjusting her clothes. When her eyes met yours she laughed awkwardly, before scurrying past you out of the room.

After the girl had closed the door behind her you threw an annoyed glance at Hyunggu.

“Seriously? In the atelier?”

He just shrugged, getting back to his easel.

You couldn’t believe this. You didn’t care if he wanted to sleep around or whatever. It was none of your business and it also wasn’t a secret that he liked to have hookups with girls or guys or anything outside and in between—no strings attached of course. But did it have to be in the atelier? This space was for working, for drawing. It was supposed to be a safe space. Couldn’t he have gone elsewhere if he was feeling horny?

"I don't care what you do with your free time but can you at least try to keep it in your pants while in the atelier?"

He didn’t even look at you, his eyes trained on the painting in front of him as he picked up his brush again.

“Calm down, y/n. It’s not like we actually had sex here.”

“Calm down? Some people try to work here, Hyunggu.”

“You're just bitter because you're not getting any. Not anymore at least.”

Ouch. You didn’t want to admit it, but he’d hit you right where it hurt. A part of you wanted to murder him, another part wanted to cry.

But as if you could ever let that happen, as if you could ever cry in front of him. That’d feel like losing and if there was one thing you hated more than you hated him it was the feeling of losing.

So you just rolled your eyes at him while sitting down in front of your own work.

"Very funny, Hyunggu."

He threw you a shit-eating grin. “I know.”

You thought the conversation was over, but apparently Hyunggu didn’t agree.

“I can't help it, y/n,” he said casually as his brush moved over the canvas. “They just can't keep their hands off me.”

You started wondering if maybe you could get away with murder.

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “You poor soul. Must be so hard to be born this pretty.”

“Thanks.” He sighed dramatically. “It really is.”

You felt so frustrated with him, your hand started clenching around your brush. But you tried to contain your anger and calm your breathing.

"Maybe you should just start dating someone for real if you're struggling this much. Would surely help your case.”

The moment you spotted the smug grin on Hyunggu’s lips, you regretted your words.

“Sure. Are you volunteering, Buttercup?”

You gagged at his words. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Hm.” He shrugged and turned back to his painting. “Your loss. Others would have died for this opportunity. But suit yourself.”

“Yeah, right,” you mumbled, trying to steer your focus back on working too.

You mostly worked in silence after that. From time to time you could hear Hyunggu humming so softly, you didn’t even notice at first and when you did you were surprised to find that it didn’t bother you. In a way it was nice to have a little background noise while focusing on your painting.

Since you still had another class, you had to pack  up your stuff eventually to leave. While you cleaned out your brushes, your gaze briefly wandered to Hyunggu. He was completely engrossed in his work, not even noticing you at all. It was like he was a completely different person.  There was nothing of his obnoxious teasing and his arrogance. His whole aura changed when he focused on his painting—it almost made you want to respect him. Maybe you did, a little, at least this side of him.

You didn’t say goodbye when you left, both to not interrupt him and to avoid another spiteful conversation. But when you opened the door you heard a mumbled “See you,” from his direction.

“Sure,” you replied, not even bothering to look back.

A few days later, you found yourself at a house party from one of your fellow student council members. It was the first time you went out after the break up so you’d been somewhat looking forward to this.

But now you were standing in some  corner, clutching onto the drink in your hand, your eyes glued to your ex making out with some girl on the couch. They were so invested in shoving their tongues down each other's throats they didn't even notice you staring at them.

Someone else seemingly noticed though because you were suddenly pulled out of your trance by a familiar voice.

“Wow,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “That hurts. I thought we were going to get married. Guess making out in the art room doesn't mean anything anymore these days.”

Your head snapped around to find Hyunggu standing next to you, an impish grin on his face.

When you looked back to the couch then, you recognized the girl on the couch as Hyunggu’s hook up from the other day.

“Truly tragic. You must be heartbroken,” you retorted.

“Hm. Not as much as you.” His voice almost sounded genuine and when your eyes met his you thought something like concern flashing through them.

It was gone within a split second though. “Bet you regret not taking me up on my offer now, huh?”

You rolled your eyes before downing the rest of your drink. “Gotta go, get a refill.”

“You know, if you'd asked me I would have gotten one for you.”

“I don't need you for that.”

You started walking towards the kitchen to finally get rid of him, but he jogged up next to you.

“No need to be so cold, Buttercup.”

“I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Hyunggu.”

He came to a stop in front of you, blocking your way with his body. When he looked at you, there was something dark in his eyes. If you didn't know better you'd think he was trying to seduce you.

“Who says I'm joking?” He leaned in a little. “I wouldn't mind giving this a go, just say the word.”

To your own horror, you really felt your heart skipping a beat but you quickly shook yourself out of it. You couldn't get involved with him and his games just because you were heartbroken and a little tipsy.

“Dream on,” you scoffed, pushing past him to the kitchen.

You tried to stay clear of both Hyunggu and your ex-boyfriend for the rest of the evening but it wasn't that easy since the location wasn't exactly a big place. Still, you could at least ignore them. You deserved to have a good time and there was no reason why you would have to be the one to leave. You did nothing wrong. You didn't cheat or break up nor did you make out with some girl in the art room.

But when you went back to the kitchen once more to get you another drink, you caught your ex, completely occupied by that girl from before who was sitting on the kitchen counter, her legs wrapped around his waist.

You wanted to gag and cry and punch him in the throat.

Good for her though, you supposed, since she really seemed to be getting her needs met these days.

When you sat down your cup on the counter with a little more fervor than necessary, your ex unglued himself from the girl’s lips to look at you. 

“Oh,” he laughed awkwardly. “y/n.”

You threw him a forced smile and a nod, before you turned back to your drink. There was no reason to make conversation with him. You could be out of this kitchen within seconds.

Your eyes searched the counter, trying to find a bottle of liquor that wasn't empty in all the mess

“I think this one is good,” the girl suddenly said and handed you a bottle with a smile. You knew it wasn't her fault, lord, she probably didn't even know you were his ex. But at that moment you really wanted to punch her. For existing, for making out with him, for being nice to you.

Of course you didn’t go through with that. You weren’t that childish nor were you going to give your ex-boyfriend the chance to tell people you were hysterical or a bitch. God forbid they end up sympathizing with him even though he was the asshole who cheated.

“Thank you.” You took the bottle from her and started mixing your drink, trying to leave as soon as possible.

Sadly, your ex decided he wasn't done yet. 

“I'm so sorry if this is awkward for you. I didn't know you'd be here.”

What a dumb excuse. He knew well that you’d be here, you were in the student council after all and pretty close with a bunch of the people here while he was… just kinda there. Still, you weren’t going to make a scene.

“Yeah sure, no problem,” you curtly replied.

“I hope this isn't too hard on you. I don't wanna hurt your feelings.”

You felt yourself getting angrier. Funny that he was suddenly caring about your feelings now. You wondered where that empathy had been when he hooked up with someone else the night while still in a relationship with you.

You put on your best fake smile.

“Why would I be hurt?”

“You don't have to pretend to be strong, y/n. It's okay.”

Your fingers clutched around the bottle of soda you’d picked up, trying hard to contain your anger and not empty the liquid over his head. 

Just then, someone stepped into the room. Of course it had to be Hyunggu. For once you almost felt grateful for his presence. Anything was better than dealing with your ex just a second longer.

“What's up?" Hyunggu asked casually but his expression made it clear that he knew very well he interrupted a tense conversation.

“Ah,” your ex looked uncomfortable. “Hyunggu.”

The girl felt uncomfortable too, if the way she averted her gaze was anything to go by.

“So, what did I miss?” Hyunggu asked, stepping closer to you to reach for one of the bottles on the counter.

Your ex laughed. “Nothing big really, we were just talking about how hard it must be on y/n to see me here with my new girlfriend.”

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow at that last word and the girl seemed to get even smaller. He didn't comment on it though, instead he looked at you questioningly.

“Is that so?”

You wanted to disappear.  This was so humiliating.

How could your ex dare to say shit like this, especially in front of other people, in front of Hyunggu?

When you didn't say anything, he asked again. “Are you having a hard time?”

There was concern in his eyes again, but this time you also thought there was something else. An offer. Or maybe a challenge?

Whatever it was, you decided to take him up on it.

Of course you hated Hyunggu with your entire being. But if it meant to escape getting humiliated by your ex any further, maybe it would be okay to take part in one of Hyunggu’s games.

“Why would I be having a hard time? You're here with me after all.”

Surprise flashed through Hyunggu’s face, but it quickly got replaced by a smug grin.

“That's good, love.” He wrapped his hand around your waist and pulled you a little closer to leave a kiss on the crown of your hair. “Let's go back?”

“Sure.”

Hyunggu threw a last glance at your ex and his girl who both seemed equally confused.

“Was good seeing you guys. Truly a lovely couple,” he said before guiding both of you out of the kitchen.

You hated to admit it but seeing your ex's reaction made all of this worth it. The confusion and the humiliation on his  face were the best things you'd experienced in a while.

Nevertheless, you didn't really think it was necessary to stay in Hyunggu's arm now that you were out of sight.

“Thanks, you can let go now.”

“Aww, Buttercup, I'm hurt.” He pouted at you but it was clear he wasn't actually offended. He dramatically clutched at his chest. “I feel so used.”

“Shouldn't have offered then.”

He chuckled at your quick comeback. “You don't know what you're missing out on.”

“I'd rather keep it that way.” You shot him an emotionless smile before making your way back to your friends.

The following week you went back to the atelier to continue the work on your assignment only to find Hyunggu there once more. It only made sense that he’d use the room too—after all he had an assignment to finish. But it was really just your luck that he always chose the same times as you.

With a sigh you stepped inside.

“Is anyone hiding behind the shelves fixing their clothes or are you actually alone right now?” You took a cautious look around the room as if you were expecting someone to jump out from somewhere.

“Who do you take me for?” He grinned. “I would never cheat on you, Buttercup.”

“You're so funny, Hyunggu.”

“Right back at you.”

Since it seemed he really was alone you sat down at your easel and took out your equipment. Just when you wanted to continue your painting, Hyunggu interrupted you.

“Reminds me, do you know what you'll do about the gala yet?"

“What's that supposed to mean?” You asked with a glare. Of course your piece didn’t look exactly finished yet, but you also had another week before you’d present it at the gala and you were confident about making it in time. And even if you didn’t finish your assignment—it wasn’t any of his business.

He shrugged. “Well, your ex will be there too and he now thinks we're dating, so…”

Oh.

You felt the heat rush to your face.

You completely misunderstood him.

“So… what are you asking?” 

“I'm asking how you want to handle it. Are we dating? Are we not dating?”

For a moment you stayed silent, considering your options. Of course you didn’t want your ex to know that you lied or to think that you’d already broken up again. But it was just a gala to present your final assignments. It’s not like you were supposed to come there with a date.

If anything, everyone would mostly stick close to their own works anyway, answering questions if the professor or other guests had any. So it wouldn't really matter right?

You shook your head. “Thanks, but I think no one would notice anyway.” You focused back on your painting. “Last time was really a one time thing.”

You could practically hear the grin in his voice when he replied “Usually that's my line.”

The night before the gala, you went to the location to set up your work. Your class had a loose time frame for the drop off, but by the time you arrived most people had already been there, the gallery decked out in paintings and sculptures. It wasn’t really surprising—you’d cut it pretty close and literally did your last brush strokes just this morning, giving them the day to dry before you transported it.

One of your professor's assistants was waiting at the entrance asking for your name and class number so she could tell you the number of the space where your painting was supposed to go.

When you reached the place there was already a painting up on the wall next to it. It looked very familiar. It was Hyunggu’s.

From an artist's perspective you could understand why your paintings would be set up next to each other—it made an intriguing combination in terms of style and arrangement.

But the prospect of having to spend the whole evening next to him? Torture.

You were carefully unwrapping your painting, when you heard steps behind you. You turned around to see your ex standing there giving you a dirty look.

“Can't believe you,” he hissed his gaze wandering between you and Hyunggu’s painting.

“Excuse me?”

“I was going to do the sensible thing and ask if me bringing my girlfriend along tomorrow would bother you. But here you are, having your work literally next to your new guy's painting. Can't bear to be apart for one evening, huh?”

You stared at him in disbelief. “What the fuck are you even saying? I'm not the one who made the room plan. And even if, what are you so pissed about?!”

“Am I not allowed to be angry when my ex who pretended to be all hurt about the break up moes on this quickly and then has to shove it right into my face?”

“Are you serious right now? You were the one who kept making out with your girlfriend at a party you knew very well I would be attending so what even is your point?!”

He just shook his head as if you were too stupid to understand.

“I just didn't take you to be such a slut, y/n, that's all.”

With that he left you behind, not giving you another chance to retaliate.

You clenched your fists. The anger bubbling in your stomach was so overpowering you almost wanted to go around the gallery to search for his piece and destroy it.

Honestly, he would have deserved that.

But you were going to pull yourself together (only partly because of the surveillance cameras in the gallery).

You still felt angry on your way home. But there was also a realization slowly sinking in: You might have to come back to Hyunggu’s offer after all.

You just knew your ex would have an eagle eye on you as much as he could, and with Hyunggu's painting right next to yours it would probably be noticeable if you didn't keep up the pretense.

So despite the feeling of absolute disgust that took over you at the mere thought of asking Hyunggu about this again after declining his offer so confidently, you decided it had to be done. If only to tick off your ass of an ex boyfriend.

The next day, you got to the location a few hours before it started, to help prepare and set everything up. Your professor gave some last instructions, since it was  the first event of this type for most of the students. After that you helped with some last minute preparations, like relocating some standing and carrying some boxes with sparkling wine inside.

You kept looking for an opportunity to catch Hyunggu alone in between and you finally took your chance when you spotted him fixing the angle of his painting. You looked around before stepping closer and clearing your throat to catch his attention.

He turned around to you and immediately had a smug smile on his lips.

“Y/n.”

You really didn’t want to do this.

“Uh, yeah, hi. Can I talk to you for a second?”

He raised an eyebrow but nodded and the two of you stepped outside. On the way out you briefly crossed paths with your ex who threw the two of you a glare but you tried to ignore him. Hyunggu didn’t seem particularly bothered either.

When you finally stepped through one of the small back entrances, no one else in sight, he smiled looking intrigued. “So, what's up, Buttercup?”

“Can we be serious for like one second?”

“I'm always serious when it's about you, y/n.”

You rolled your eyes but decided not to further spur him on by replying to his the stupid comment.

“So the thing is,” you started reluctantly.

“The thing is?”

You could tell from Hyunggu’s smug expression that he wouldn’t make this easy for you, but it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

"doesyourofferstillstand?" you begrudgingly pressed out, swallowing all your pride. 

"Eh?" He cocked his head. "My offer?"

It cost you all your strength not to punch him in his dumb pretty face. But you pulled yourself together. You needed him alive.

“Stop  pretending, Hyunggu. you know exactly what i'm talking about.”

“So where does the sudden change of mind come from?”

“Let's just say the situation changed a little.”

“How so?”

You didn’t exactly want to tell him all about yesterday's conversation but you also knew he wouldn’t give it a rest if you didn't give him at least some kind of reason.

“I had a little argument with my ex yesterday,” you briefly summarized.

He nodded slowly as if he was contemplating something.

“Hmmm, I can see why that would change things for you.”

A sly grin appeared on his lips as he stepped just a little closer to you. You felt your heart skip a beat in your chest at the sudden proximity. Without saying anything his gaze just lingered on your for a moment, wandering from your eyes to your lips and back up.

“But you know, Buttercup,” he said after a while. “You should have just said yes when I first offered.”

You frowned.

Of course you had known this conversation would be uncomfortable and that he'd be smug and sassy. But there had been no doubt in your mind that he would easily agree. Yet, now he was rejecting you?

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I guess you could call it a time-limited offer? Would have done it for free, but now you lost your chance.” 

He looked at you with fake pity. 

“What?” you asked, dumbfounded. You didn't know what else to say.

“Sometimes it's better not to hesitate, y/n. Maybe take it as advice for the future.”

You shook your head. “You're kidding right?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

“You were so keen on this before and now you're saying no?”

He shrugged. “What would I get out of this?”

“So that's what this is about? You want something in return?”

“I mean if you don't want to…” He let his eyes wander into the distance, a meaningful expression on his face.

You sighed. “What do you want, Hyunggu?”

A sly grin formed on his lips and it made your stomach burn with frustration. “I knew you'd come around.”

“Just tell me what you want already, Hyunggu.”

“A favor.”

You had a bad feeling about this.

“A favor?”

He nodded “Exactly.”

“What kind of favor?”

“I'll let you know when I need it.”

“You expect me to say yes to this without knowing what you're going to ask for?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I'm not expecting anything. I'm just telling you my price.”

You took a deep breath. You hated this. There was no way you’d say yes to something like this. How stupid did he take you for?

Just when you were about to tell him to forget it all, you heard the backdoor behind you open.

Your ex was standing there, eyeing the both of you with pure disgust.

“Sorry to interrupt the two of you,” he snarled, not sounding sorry at all. “If you're done flirting maybe you want to come back inside and actually help like the rest of us?”

You swallowed looking back at Hyunggu who cocked his head in a question, as if to ask what your decision was going to be.

Your jaw tensed up. You couldn’t let him expose you now in front of your ex.

“Fine,” you mouthed at him.

“Perfect.” Hyunggu leaned in closer, his lips briefly brushing over your forehead, before he pulled back again to look at you.

“I love you.”

The way he said it was taunting, one eyebrow raised and a grin on his lips. It was so obvious that there wasn’t the tiniest bit of sincerity in his words, but your ex didn’t seem to notice, judging from the scoff he let out.

Hyunggu didn't give either of you a chance to say anything, moving past you to step back inside from where your ex was still glaring at you.

When you didn't follow along, Hyunggu turned around again. “Aren’t you coming, Buttercup?"

You went back inside to help with the rest of the preparations, though honestly, there wasn’t much to do anymore, confirming your hunch that your ex mainly came outside to interrupt you and Hyunggu.

Still, you somehow managed to keep yourself busy with this and that until the event started, barely seeing either Hyunggu or your ex. During the gala itself Hyunggu of course was close by, his painting being next to yours and all, but the guests kept you busy so there wasn't that much room for conversation or any fake dating activities.

In the late evening, after the gala ended, you felt tired and exhausted but you were also filled with bubbling happiness. More people than you’d expected had shown interest in your work and you thought you also did a decent job presenting it, so you couldn’t help the feeling of pride welling up inside of you.

Still full of adrenaline, you turned to Hyunggu who was taking a sip from a water bottle, looking pretty tired himself.

"Tonight was amazing, wasn't it?" You asked excitedly, forgetting for a moment that you were supposed to hate his guts.

You got ready to be ridiculed by him, you could almost hear his voice taunting you for getting so childishly happy about something like this. But instead he broke into a wide smile too, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I loved it too"

It caught you off guard. He looked so genuinely happy, no trace of his usual sneer or smugness.

You couldn't remember seeing him like this before but you suddenly understood why everyone seemed to like him so much.

You swallowed, quickly averting your eyes. Instead of him, you focused your attention on your painting, reaching out to carefully take it off the wall.

"That's good," you mumbled, hoping Hyunggu didn't notice the heat you felt rising up to your cheeks.

Maybe it was because of the size of the painting or maybe you were just too fidgety but somehow getting it down was way harder than it’d been to put it up. You were just considering asking someone from the gallery to help you with it when you felt someone step behind you.

"Let me help you," Hyunggu said, standing so close to you that you noticed the scent of his perfume. It smelled like freshly cut flowers. It didn't exactly fit the image of him you'd painted in your head, but maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought you did.

"It's fine," you stuttered out, trying to put a little distance between the two of you.

"Just let me help, y/n," he insisted and you could hear the smile in his voice. "It can be a little tricky." 

Hyunggu reached out his hands to your painting, his fingers brushing yours when he did. He easily removed the painting from the hook it was attached to and gently set it down. 

You felt your heart beating so hard in your chest, you worried that he could hear the sound of it.

"There we go."

"Thanks," you mumbled.

"Always, Buttercup."

The nickname made you look up to meet his gaze, before your eyes wandered past him to your ex who was glaring at you from a few meters away.

Of course. 

All of this had just been part of your little pretense because your ex had been watching. You’d simply been too unattentive to notice.

You suddenly felt stupid for getting all nervous and shy when Hyunggu was just playing his role—a role you’d asked him to play yourself.

“We need to set up some boundaries,” you stated later that night, when the two of you were alone, making your way to the bus stop.

“Boundaries?” 

“Yeah. You know, rules and stuff.”

“So you want to keep this up longer then?” He grinned. “Can't get enough of me now that you've had a taste?”

You suppressed a gag. “Get off your high horse, Hyunggu. It's just that we can't suddenly stop now, I'm sure he will keep an eye on us at college too and since the others also sorta noticed now…”

Hyunggu chuckled. “Got it. We'll play lovebirds a little longer. I don't mind.” You didn't like the expression on his face but decided to ignore it.

“So, as I said, we need boundaries.”

“What did you have in mind, Buttercup?”

“That’s the first one. Don't call me that.”

“Why not? It suits you.”

“We're alone Hyunggu, there's no need to put on an act. Which is the first rule. When we're alone we're back to normal. No flirting.”

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow. “But aren't I always flirting with you? Isn't that our normal?”

“Rule number 2,” you moved on, not acknowledging his nonsense. “No others. I can't have another boyfriend cheating on me, even if it's just a fake.”

“I already told you I wouldn't cheat on you. Anything else?”

“I'm the one who breaks up.”

“Sure.”

You looked at him in surprise. You hadn't expected him to agree to that so easily, knowing all too well that Hyunggu could be prideful.

“You don't mind?”

“I think your ego needs that more than mine right now. Besides,” a cocky grin appeared on his lips, “I bet you won't want to break up anyway.”

“Dream on.”

“So, is that all?”

“Uh,” you considered for a moment. “I think so?”

“What about other kinds of boundaries?”

You looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“You know,” he stopped walking, his hand grabbing yours to make you stop as well. He pulled you closer until there was barely any space left between you. 

“Things like this,” he whispered. “Is this fine?”

You swallowed, suddenly feeling way too hot despite the cool evening breeze. “I guess so?” Your voice was thin and it sounded more like a question.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his face coming just a bit closer still. “What about other things?”

“For example?”

His eyes wandered to your lips. “Is it okay to kiss you?”

Your brain short circuited. Clearly, the answer should be No. But how could you say no when he was looking at you like that?

“If,” you started, your voice trembling with nerves. “If the situation absolutely requires it…”

“Hm?” He urged you to go on, his gaze not leaving your lips.

“Then I suppose it's okay…”

He didn't say anything for a moment. His face was close enough for you to feel his breath against your lips and you were almost convinced he was going to lean in and close the gap. If you were honest with yourself maybe you wanted him to.

But then he pulled back, one corner of his mouth pulled up to a crooked grin.

“Alright,” he said, letting go of your hand as if nothing had happened. “I can work with that.”

Things didn't change as much as you thought they would—mostly because Hyunggu and you barely shared classes and you tended to keep to yourself a lot in school anyway.

Though when you had lunch with Shinwon and Hui the following week they of course mentioned it to you, playfully offended that you hadn't told them sooner.

“It was just really new and we weren't really sure where things were going,” you lied half heartedly.

Shinwon sighed dramatically. “Still, I can't believe you didn't even tell us. No use crying over spilled milk but you'll have to tell us all about how it happened, y/n. I mean you hated his guts.”

Just when you realized that Hyunggu and you hadn't agreed on a backstory yet, a voice sounded from behind you.

“Hate is such a strong word, don’t you think?”

Hyunggu really had a talent for showing up out of nowhere. He set the tray with his food onto the table and sat down next to you.

“I think rather than hatred, it was a bit of anxiety. Admitting your own feelings can be pretty scary.”

 He smiled. You wanted to punch him.

“But thankfully we managed to talk things out,” Hyunggu squeezed your hand on the table. “Isn't that right, Buttercup?”

Your friends grinned at the nickname. You tried your best to look bashful instead of utterly humiliated and angry.

“Sure,” you replied, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

“No need to be so shy in front of our friends.”

You ignored him, focusing back on your food instead.

“So, since y/n isn't telling us, you'll tell us right? How the two of you got together?”

You felt Hyunggu's gaze wandering over to you, but you didn't look up. You were already feeling uncomfortable enough as it was.

“I think that's a story for another time,” Hyunggu replied in his usual charming tone. 

Relief washed over you. You really weren't in the mood to make up some lovey dovey back story, nor did you want to give Hyunggu the power to make something up by himself.

For a moment you wondered if he wasn't saying anything to be considerate. But you quickly pushed the thought aside—this was Hyunggu after all.

Thankfully your friends let it rest after that and you got back to chatting about this and that until Shinwon interrupted the ongoing conversation with a sudden Oh! as if he'd just remembered something.

“Since you're on the student council too, you’re also signed up for the weekend getaway in a few weeks, right, Hyunggu?”

“Ah, yeah, I'm going.”

“Perfect,” Shinwon continued, excitedly clapping his hands. “Changgu said we had a problem with splitting the rooms since we got some rooms with double beds—but since you're dating now you can just share right?”

You choked on the bite of food you'd just taken, coughing helplessly until Hyunggu started to gently pat your back.

This wasn't good.

You'd been sure you would already be broken up by the time the trip rolled around. But how could you say no to this without exposing this all as a fake relationship? Then again, your ex wasn't even going to be on the trip so why would you have to keep pretending there? But did you really want to tell all your friends that you were pathetic enough to fake a relationship in order to get back at your ex?

While your thoughts kept circling, Hyunggu seemed just as helpless. It wasn't often you got to see him being unsure and if the situation had been any different you surely would have found great joy in it.

“Uhm,” he finally started, throwing you a questioning glance. “I don't really—”

“Sure!” You cut him off. “No problem at all!”

You felt his surprised gaze on you but you kept your eyes focused on your friends who nodded happily.

“Perfect, I'll send a message to Changgu then!”

Soon after, your friends excused themselves to go to classes, leaving you and Hyunggu alone.

“No problem at all, eh?” He turned to you with a raised  eyebrow as soon as they were out of earshot.

“I mean—,” you stuttered. “What was I supposed to say?!”

He shrugged. “I don't know. I'm sure you could have come up with some kinda excuse.” The corners of his lips turned up into a mischievous smile. “If you really wanted to, that is. But I guess I'm just impossible to resist.”

With a roll of your eyes, you grabbed your tray and stood up to leave. Hyunggu quickly picked up his tray as well, jogging up next to you. 

“Can't believe you're trying to leave me behind, Buttercup.” He playfully nudged you in the side. 

“I already told you to stop calling me that.”

“And I already told you it suits you.”

“You're insufferable, Hyunggu.”

“That's what you like about me.”

Things weren't very eventful after that. Hyunggu was teasing you every chance he got (as he always did) and played your sweet, sweet boyfriend whenever other people were around. Somehow you got used to it so quickly, you almost started to miss his constant commentary when you were by yourself. 

Not that you would ever tell him that.

From time to time, you caught yourself blushing or your heart skipping a beat and it honestly worried you. You knew that all of this was fake. He didn't mean it when he called you his or said that he'd missed you. And his nickname for you, too, was just part of this little game.

You knew this and yet sometimes you forgot.

Even if it was fake, even if there were no feelings involved, his hand felt warm against your skin and his voice sounded like home when he called you by that stupid little nickname.

Maybe you could finally understand the fall of icarus now, because against your better knowledge you still wanted to get a little closer, you still wanted to hold his hand and his heart, knowing full well that you'd get burnt.

The weekend before the student council retreat, Hyunggu texted you to accompany him to a party. You told him that you didn't want to go. He knew you weren't usually a party person anyway, but he somehow managed to convince you, saying it would make things more believable and probably also get your ex riled up more since you'd barely gone to parties with him.

So, on Saturday evening you got yourself dressed up and waited for Hyunggu to pick you up. When he spotted you coming out of the house his face lit up, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes the way they always did when he genuinely smiled. You hated that it made your heart race.

"You're looking pretty tonight," he said, opening the door of his car for you.

In an attempt to hide your nerves you just scoffed at him, while getting into the car. “Thanks.”

Hyunggu didn't take it personally though, closing the door and then going back to the driver's seat, a light swing in his step. He seemed to be in a really good mood and you couldn't decide whether you liked or hated it.

You didn't really talk on the way to the party. Instead, he had some music on and softly sang along from time to time. It surprised you—both that he was comfortable singing in front of you as well as the realization that he was a good singer. There were so many things you didn’t know about him yet and it was terrible, really. Because with every new thing you learned, he got more charming, as if you weren't already having a hard enough time keeping up your antipathy.

Once you reached the party you were once more reminded that not only everyone knew Hyunggu but that everyone also genuinely liked him. Before you knew it he was swept away and you were left to your own devices. You shouldn't have felt hurt about it but somehow you still did.

Wasn't he the one who persuaded you to come in the first place? Even if this was fake, the least he could do was to not leave you alone the second you arrived.

Feeling a little lost, you sat down in some corner unsure what to do with yourself, when someone sat next to you.

“You good?” Changgu looked at you, a worried frown on his face.

“Uh, yeah, totally good, really.”

He didn't seem to believe you but still nodded. “You know that you can come talk to me if something is up, right?”

“Thank you, Changgu.”

“Mhm,” he hummed in reply before nipping on his drink. “To be honest it really surprised me to hear that you're dating Hyunggu now. I always thought you hated him.” He wasn't looking at you, instead his eyes were fixed on some people in the opposite corner of the room.

When you followed his gaze you spotted Hyunggu talking animatedly with some guy you hadn't seen before, maybe from a different faculty or college altogether.

You watched him for a moment. The other guy must have said something funny because Hyunggu started laughing, his hand wiping at the corners of his eyes. You knew it was too loud in the room for you to actually hear his laughter, but the sound of it still rang in your ears.

“Yeah,” you replied without averting your gaze. “I thought so too.”

That drew a small chuckle from Changgu before he bumped your shoulders together playfully. “You really got it bad, huh?”

“What?” You tore your eyes away from Hyunggu to look at Changgu instead.

“You don't?”

You couldn't really agree to that nor could you decline, so you just shrugged.

“I hope you didn't misunderstand me. You make a good couple,"” Changgu eventually added. “It's just surprising is all.”

“I don't know about that.”

“About making a good couple? Why? What's up?”

“I'm just not sure if we could work longtime. It's like we have an expiration date,” you replied and it was just a little too close to the truth.

“Hmm,” he sounded thoughtful. “I'm sure you'll figure things out.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Changgu.” 

Somehow you wanted the conversation to end, even if it was just to run away from your own feelings. You excused yourself and went to the kitchen to get yourself a drink.

It was ironic; the mere act of mixing yourself a drink in someone else's kitchen was exactly what got you into this whole mess. It somehow felt so long ago now, even though you knew it had only been a few weeks.

This time there was no ex boyfriend making out with a girl on the kitchen counter. Instead a bunch of people you'd never seen before were sitting at the table playing some kind of drinking game.

When a girl at the table caught you looking over she gave you a smile and asked if you wanted to join. You threw a brief glance through the kitchen door to see Hyunggu still immersed in conversation, so you agreed and sat down next to her. You didn't need Hyunggu to have a fun evening anyway. You could just make new friends if he didn't want to bother spending time with you.

You played a few rounds of a game that you didn't exactly grasp the rules of which also explained why you'd gotten tipsy so quickly. After another lost round you were about to drink again, when your shot glass was snatched right out of your hand.

“Hey!” you complained, tipping your head back in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the thief.

It was Hyunggu. Of course it was.

“I think you might have had enough for tonight,” he suggested, holding the glass out of your reach.

“Shut up,” you babbled. “Don't pretend like you suddenly care about me.”

“Don't say that. You know I care about you.” 

A crease appeared between his eyebrows and he looked... worried? Apologetic? Hurt? You weren't sure.

And it didn't matter either, this wasn't real. 

“Liar.”

He sighed. “I think we should drive home. Let me get your things, Buttercup.”

“Don't wanna.”

“Please?”

Reluctantly and not without a big pout on your face you gave in. “Fine.”

He told you to wait there while he left to gather your things. The girl next to you eyed you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Didn't know you were here with Hyunggu," she said once he had left. "Are you dating?”

You shrugged but she didn't seem to mind the unclear answer nor did she seem surprised.

“Buttercup, huh?” she shook her head. “Classic Hyunggu. You know, he used to call me that too.”

You weren't sure why her words hurt you so much, but they stung like a knife.

You should have known better.

But some dumb naive part of you had always felt a little special when he called you that. Because you’d thought it was a nickname he’d made up just for you.

But of course not.

It was just some dumb name he recycled from past love affairs.

You should have known better.

“You ready to go?” Hyunggu's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. 

When you turned he was standing there with a smile, holding out your bag and jacket for you. Without a word you grabbed your things and walked towards the door. You were still silent when you sat in the parking lot, waiting for him to start the car.

He reached out for the key but then halted, lowering his hand again.

“Are you angry with me?”

“No,” you replied curtly. “Why would I be?”

“Is it about leaving? Did you want to stay that much?” A crease appears between his brows. "I'm sorry."

“I told you I'm not angry.”

“But something is clearly wrong, y/n.” He sighed, running his hands through his slightly tousled hair. “Look, I know I wasn't being the best date tonight.”

“Fake date,” you corrected.

His frown just grew, and for a second you thought there was something like disappointment on his face.

“Yeah, right, fake date.” He repeated your words. “Still, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you all alone tonight.”

“I wasn't alone. I spoke with Changgu and uh-" You tried recalling the girl's name, or any of the people you played with, but you couldn't remember. Or maybe you never knew in the first place.

“I wasn't alone,” you emphasized again.

It was clear that Hyunggu didn't really know what to say. “I mean, that's good then?” It sounded unsure, like a question.

“Yeah. Can we drive home now?”

He hesitated still, his gaze lingering on you a little longer as if he wanted to say more. But then he reached for the key and started the car.

The ride home felt suffocating. He didn't turn on music he could hum along to and you didn't speak either. Both of you just kept your gaze fixed on the road until his car stopped in front of your house.

“There we are.”

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry again for tonight, y/n. I didn't mean for the evening to go like this.”

“It's whatever.” You unbuckled your seatbelt and left the car without even looking at him again.

You made your way to your doorstep and even without turning around you knew Hyunggu was still there. Only when you opened the door and disappeared inside did he start his car again to drive home himself.

He texted you later that night, telling you that he got home and that you should get a good rest.

You didn't reply.

You still hadn’t replied by the week after and you went out of your way to avoid him, disappearing immediately after the classes you had with him to avoid conversation.

Of course you knew that you weren't being fair to him.

You had no right to be angry or hurt about something that you'd known from the start, something you had specifically asked for.

And yet you felt all kinds of angry and hurt.

Maybe there'd been some truth to Hyunggu's words when he'd said you never hated him in the first place. Maybe you'd really just been scared. How unfair though, that you were the only one feeling this way, while he got to move on from this as if it was nothing.

Avoiding Hyunggu had worked out so well,  you'd gotten careless by Thursday. You'd taken your sweet time packing up after one of your classes, only leaving the room after everyone was long gone already.

When you got out, Hyunggu was waiting next to the door, immediately coming over as soon as he spotted you. He walked next to you through the hallway, not a lot of distance between the two of you.

“Don't think ignoring me will get you out of owing me that favor.” He winked, but it was clear he wasn't feeling as relaxed as he tried to make it look. 

“Sure, don't worry, you get your favor. What do you want?”

He frowned at your cold reply.

“I haven't made up my mind yet. But I think rather than that we need to talk.”

“Then talk.”

He stopped walking and when you turned around to him he almost looked angry. You'd never seen him angry before. Annoyed, sure. Disparaging too. But angry? Hyunggu wasn't the type to get angry. He was the type who kept calm, who always had the upper hand.

Somehow you didn't know how to handle him looking at you like that, so you quickly averted your gaze.

“You're being unfair, y/n.”

I know, you wanted to say but you kept quiet.

“You wanted this. You specifically came to me and asked me to help you out.” He took a small step towards you, but not enough to feel intimidating.

When you glanced up his features had softened a little. “Don't I at least deserve an explanation when you suddenly treat me like this?”

He was right. But what were you supposed to say? I don't like that our fake dating is, you know, fake?

When you stayed silent he sighed. “And what am I supposed to tell the others? That we broke up? That we didn't? How am I supposed to behave?”

Objectively speaking, it was a valid thing to wonder about. It was only natural that he'd ask this. After all, contrary to you, he was around people often and couldn't exactly avoid conversations.

But somehow your brain and your heart didn't really connect that well, at least not today.

“So that's what it's about, huh? You're worried about what to tell the others? Well, I don't care, Hyunggu, just tell them whatever the fuck you want to.”

“Come on, Buttercup, you know that's not what I meant.”

Hearing him call you by that name made you feel sick to your stomach. All you could think of was that girl and who knows how many others that he'd given the same nickname to.

“I told you to stop calling me that!” You almost yelled now, not exactly the volume appropriate for the hallways of a university building but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

With tears in your eyes you stomped off, leaving Hyunggu behind in his confusion.

When your alarm woke you up on Friday you felt miserable. For all the same reasons as the day before but also for a bunch of new ones.

After sleeping about it and giving yourself the time to calm down a bit and think the situation over, it became blatantly clear that an apology was due.

You'd known from the start that you hadn't been fair to Hyunggu, but you really took it a little too far yesterday. It was vexing that he didn't even know what you were angry about. But how could he? It wasn't his fault you caught feelings and got your hopes up for nothing.

Another reason for your miserable mood though was that your phone reminded you that the student council retreat started today.

The retreat that Hyunggu would attend as well.

The one where you were supposed to share a room.

You wanted to stay home and just skip out on this. But you also felt that not going would just make things worse between Hyunggu and you and it would also put him in the uncomfortable position of having to explain in front of the others.

So despite everything, you forced yourself out of bed and started packing your things.

All of the student council members had agreed to meet up near college beforehand and drive together from there so that you could share cars instead of everyone driving by themselves. Since you'd put off packing till the last minute,  you were already short on time and to top it off your bus was delayed too. It really wasn't your day.

You texted Shinwon about it, letting him know that you'd be running late and he told you not to worry,  someone would wait for you.

When you arrived at the parking lot you immediately recognized his car.

Really, you should have expected this outcome.

Hyunggu was leaning against his car lifting his hand in a small wave when he saw you walking over.

You remembered the way he'd smiled when he picked you up for the party and it made your heart ache that he wasn't smiling at you now.

“Hey,” he said once you reached him, his lips pressed to a thin line.

“Hey.” 

You looked around the parking lot and also glanced into his car to see if someone else was there. There wasn't.

“Sorry, it’s just me,” Hyunggu said, reaching out his hand to take your bag from you and put it into the back of his car.

You weren't sure what he was apologizing for, especially since clearly, you were the one who should be doing that.

After he put your stuff away he went around to the driver seat.

“Should we get going?”

The drive was silent again and you couldn't help missing the sound of his voice humming along to his music. Or any sound really.  You kept fidgeting with your hands, well aware that you should fix this, but it somehow felt so intimidating to speak up.

“You're making me nervous,” Hyunggu eventually said with a small glance at your hands.

“Sorry.”

You laid your hands flat onto your thighs, but you only made it so long before you started fidgeting again.

“Can you uhm- can we maybe listen to some music?” You eventually asked, hoping to at least get rid of the silence. Maybe it'd be easier to speak up once it wasn't so quiet anymore?

“Sure, you can put something on. My phone should be connected to the speakers.”

He vaguely gestured towards the center console where his phone was laying. You just stared at it helplessly, unsure if he was expecting you to just take it?

“8310.”

“Huh?”

“My code.” For a second you thought you saw a small smile on his lips.

“Ah, right.”

You picked up his phone still feeling as if you were intruding despite having his permission to do so.

You just put one of his playlists on shuffle since you hadn't anything specific in mind that you wanted to listen to and also didn’t want to search through his phone. Melodic jazz started sounding from the speakers and it helped you relax a little.

“Uhm,” you started again after a while. “I'm sorry about yesterday.”

“Hm,” He just hummed in reply, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.

“I was out of line.”

“You were.”

You anxiously bit on your lower lip, unsure what else to say. You'd hoped he'd make  things a little easier for you once you decided to apologize, but you knew you couldn't expect that from him.

“Are you going to tell me what was going on with you now?” He asked after a while.

“I was just—I think I'm just not cut out for this whole fake dating thing.”

It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

“So, are we breaking up?”

You shrugged. “Maybe it's for the best? Thank you though, for playing along.”

“Mhm-hm.” He stopped the car at a red light, using the moment to look over at you. “What do you want to do about this weekend then?”

If only you knew.

Even if you broke up now, it would only make things complicated and uncomfortable for everyone else on the trip, not to mention the problem with the room.

“Maybe we can just... pretend a little longer? And end this on Monday?”

He nodded, looking away from you to focus back on the street when the traffic light turned green again. 

“Whatever you're comfortable with, B–” he cut himself off before repeating his sentence once more. “Whatever you're comfortable with.”

The rest of the drive wasn't exactly comfortable, but at least some of the tension between the two of you had eased. From time to time, Hyunggu was humming along to the songs again too, almost as if he didn't notice he was doing it himself.

Once you reached the lodging, Hyunggu was back to his usual self, meeting the others with a grin.

“The lovebirds finally arrived,” Changgu dramatically greeted both of you, as he and some others got out to help you carry the luggage and supplies. “Took you long enough.”

“We just wanted some privacy,” Hyunggu replied with a wink.

It shouldn't surprise you how good Hyunggu was at slipping in and out of roles, putting up a front as if you hadn't just broken up in the car. Then again, you supposed it probably wasn't as emotionally taxing on him as it was on you.

You weren't sure if you should be hurt about his easy acting or if you should be grateful since he prevented things from getting awkward. With mixed feelings you trudged behind the others into the house, carrying some food supplies for the weekend inside.

The student council was a pretty wild mix of people and you usually felt a little overwhelmed with how loud and chaotic it could get, but today you felt pretty grateful about it.

Everyone was in a good mood, and a bunch of them had already started drinking too so no one noticed that you and Hyunggu kept some distance between the two of you.

Hyunggu managed to make a quick witted comment whenever the conversation touched on your relationship, keeping up the pretense without actually touching or flirting with you.

Between setting things up, cooking and playing some games, the evening rolled around quicker than expected.

You'd mostly stuck to Hongseok, helping him prepare dinner and then doing dishes together with him and Wooseok after dinner.

When you went back to the living room afterwards everyone was chatting and playing games and no one noticed that you sat down far from Hyunggu who was immersed in a conversation with Hui.

Drinking, playing games and listening to everyone's rambles let you forget a bit of the tension from today, and Shinwon even managed to draw the one or the other laugh out of you with his weird jokes.

Just when he'd said something stupid again that made you almost tear up from laughing, you caught Hyunggu looking at you from the other side of the table. 

He smiled fondly, and you quickly averted your gaze, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. You hoped that the blush on your cheeks went unnoticed or at least would be blamed on the alcohol and not your emotional chaos.

After a few more rounds of drinks you found yourself getting both very tipsy and very tired, unable to keep yourself from yawning.

When you could barely keep your eyes open, Hongseok carefully nudged you in the side.

“Y/n? Do you maybe wanna go to bed?”

Your gaze instinctively wandered to Hyunggu who was immersed in conversation, before you shook your head. 

“No, no, I'm still awake,” you mumbled but it didn't sound very convincing.

Hongseok chuckled. “You don't have to force yourself just because your boyfriend is still up, you know that, right?”

Changgu overheard your conversation, asking if you were tired and wanted to sleep loudly enough for everyone to hear.

You felt a little helpless. You hadn't talked with Hyunggu about the sleeping situation again and weren't really sure how to behave. But it was true that you felt unbearably tired and now with everyone reassuring you that it was okay to sleep and some of them saying that they'd head to sleep too, you couldn't really say no.

“Just rest, y/n, it's fine. I'll come up later,” Hyunggu said with a reassuring smile.

“Okay.”

You made your way to the room Hyunggu and you  were supposed to share, quickly got yourself bed ready and slipped under the covers.

Maybe you should have been nervous about the fact that Hyunggu was going to come up later, but you were too drunk and tired to really care.

You must have fallen asleep quickly, because the next thing you knew was that you woke up from a noise in the room. Blinking your eyes, you tried to adjust to the darkness of the room. You weren't sure how much time had passed since you went upstairs, but it was quiet in the house now, except for Hyunggu rustling with his bag.

“It's me,” he whispered when he noticed you were awake. “Just keep sleeping.”

Your eyes kept closing, despite your best attempt to stay awake, and when you opened them again he was gone, probably getting bed ready in the bathroom.

He didn't come back though.

When you woke up early the next morning, you were alone, no trace of Hyunggu ever having been there, except for his open bag on the floor.

You crawled out of bed,  slipping into a hoodie before quietly making your way down the stairs to the open living room. It was quiet, everyone else probably still asleep after the long night.

You got yourself a glass of water from the kitchen when you heard a soft groaning noise from the couch. You walked over to take a look just to find Hyunggu sleeping there under a thin woolen blanket, quietly sighing in his sleep.

You felt guilty for making him sleep there and briefly wondered if maybe you should have stayed home after all, if only for his sake.

As if he'd noticed your staring, he scrunched up his face before blinking his eyes open.

“Y/n,” he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Did you sleep here?” You whispered, worried about waking anyone else in the house.

He closed his eyes again for a moment. “Mhm.” 

“Why?”

“What, were you lonely?” A small grin tugged at his lips. 

Honestly you felt a little caught but you tried not to let on. “If anything I should have been the one sleeping on the couch.”

“I wasn't going to throw a sleeping person out of their bed. Who do you take me for, y/n?” He sat up, his hair looking tousled and sticking up a little. 

“But this really took a toll on my poor back,” he sighed dramatically while stretching his arms behind his back.

“I'm sorry.”

A mischievous grin appeared on his face. “Well, if you're that sorry, how about making coffee for everyone? I might be willing to call it even then.”

The way he teased you reminded you of the way things were before the whole fake dating thing went downhill and it made you feel a little relieved, as if you could go back to normal eventually.

The others soon woke up as well and you ate breakfast with everyone before splitting up into smaller groups to get some student council work done, the excuse for taking this trip in the first place.

After working for a while, it was decided that some people should already start making lunch. You volunteered again, but were sent to go to the supermarket instead. Apparently Hui and Changgu had underestimated the amount of food (and even more importantly drinks) you'd need for the weekend.

“Take Hyunggu along since he has a car,” Changgu suggested and you couldn't really find an excuse not to.

You weren't sure if you even wanted to come up with one.

“Good to know our friends are supportive of us getting some alone time, huh?” Hyunggu shook his head in amusement as the two of you went over to his car.

“Sorry that you have to come along.”

“No, not at all. I don't think any of them would be capable of choosing good wine and—,” he playfully eyed you up, “no offense, but I don't trust you with that either.”

You couldn't help but chuckle. “Fair point.”

You got everything from the list as well as a few things on top that you simply were in the mood for—the privilege of being the ones getting the groceries, Hyunggu reasoned.

On your way back to the house you mostly looked out the window, until you suddenly realized that the road didn't look familiar at all.

Just when you wanted to say something, Hyunggu turned right, driving  onto a lot.

“What are you doing?”

He hummed while he easily pulled into a parking spot. “I'm sure they won't mind if we come back just a little later.”

“What are you doing?” You asked again, but he ignored you.

He got out of the car, walking around to your side and opening your door for you.

“Just thought we could use some fresh air.”

You shook your head in disbelief but got out anyway.  When you looked around you realized you were in the parking lot of some kind of botanical garden.

Hyunggu got something out of the back of his car before locking up behind him and walking towards the entrance.

“You coming?” He grinned, holding out a can of coffee to you that you hadn't noticed he'd slipped into the shopping cart.

“You're insufferable,” you said but took the can from him.

He grinned, opening his own can with a plop and raising it in a small toast. “How I missed hearing you say that this past week.” 

You walked through the garden for a while, just looking around and sipping on the coffee. Despite the quiet it didn't feel uncomfortable this time. Maybe it was because Hyunggu seemed to be in a good mood, a light swing in his steps, that rubbed off on you.

Eventually, he plopped down on one of the benches in front of a pretty fontaine, tapping the space next to him for you to sit down next to him.

"”Shouldn't we get back soon? We also have the groceries in the car…”

“It will be fine,  y/n, they won't suddenly spoil just because they’re in the car for a minute or two longer.”

You hesitated for a moment but then you sat down too, enjoying the fresh breeze and the pretty view.

“I'm sorry that I made things awkward,” you mumbled after a while, not daring to look  at him.

“I don't mind things being awkward, y/n. But I'd rather be talked to openly instead of ignored out of nowhere.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Mmh-mh,” he took another sip of his coffee. “Let's not dwell on it anymore. Besides, I'm sorry too.”

You looked at him in confusion. “What are you sorry for?”

“For the party. It wasn't my proudest night.” 

“You already apologized for that.”

He ruffled through his hair and let out a long sigh. “For the nickname too, I didn't know it bothered you that much. I didn't mean to overstep.”

“No, it's not—I mean it's not your fault, I just felt a little weird to be called the same nickname as a bunch of others before me—”

Hyunggu frowned. “What do you mean?”

You swallowed. “It's stupid, because everything is fake anyway but I just got a little too in my head about it. It doesn't matter.”

“No, what do you mean with others?”

“Uh, you know. People you've dated and stuff.”

“What makes you think I used it for anyone else?”

You huffed a tired laugh. “You don't have to pretend for me, Hyunggu.”

“I'm not. Why would I call anyone else that way?”

You almost felt annoyed at him keeping up the pretense. “Hyunggu, please. That girl at the party told me.”

“Well whatever she told you wasn't true then.”

“Why would she lie?”

“I don't know.” His expression looked more like pout now. “But why would you trust her over me? You don't even know her.”

You sighed. "Does it matter? It was all fake anyway.”

“It matters to me.”

“Why?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Just, you know.” He shrugged. “You really have the worst image of me, don't you? But I'm not as insincere as you make me out to be.”

“That's kinda hard to believe.”

“You wound me, y/n,” He sighed dramatically, properly an attempt to lighten the mood again, but it didn’t come across as fun and relaxed as he’d intended.

Hyunggu didn't give you more time to wonder about it though, getting up from the bench and motioning for you to follow along.

“Maybe we should head back after all. Before we miss lunch.”

You returned to the house soon after, not without your friends teasing you about taking so long. You made it on time for lunch though so it wasn't too bad. After eating you got back into your work groups from the morning, you and Hyunggu once again not working on the same things.

Later that evening you all sat together in the living room again, chattering and drinking the night away. It was loud and chaotic as always and you found yourself genuinely happy that you didn't skip out on the retreat. It would have been sad to miss all of this.

Soon enough you felt yourself getting a little tipsy again and decided to step outside for some fresh air. What you hadn't expected though, was that Hyunggu was already outside, looking up at you in surprise when you opened the door.

“What's up?”

You shook your head, stepping outside and closing the door behind you. “Nah, nothing. Just needed to get some air. What about you?”

“Mhm, me too.” He leaned against the wall of the house, his eyes focusing  on the sky.

You followed his gaze, appreciating the amount of stars that could be seen. It was different from the sky in the city that never got truly dark.

“You know,” you mumbled after a while, and maybe it was just the alcohol that made you say the words that followed. “I actually liked it at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“The nickname. I kinda liked it.” You glanced over to find him  smiling at you.

“I like it too. As I said, it suits you.”

“Me and whom?” Your grin died on your lips when you met his serious gaze.

“Why can't you trust me on this?”

You swallowed. “I don't know. It just feels a little hard to believe after what she said and after knowing how many people you hooked up with in the past.”

“Yeah, I did. I hooked up with a lot of people in the past. Her too, like a year ago or something. But I never called her by that nickname. I never called anyone like that. Only you. I promise.”

Your mouth felt dry and you wanted to avert your eyes but at the same time you wanted to keep looking, keep holding his gaze.

“Why?” You asked, unsure what exactly you were even asking.

“You probably don't remember this, but when we first had an art class together in first semester, we were supposed to paint flowers. I wasn't sure what to go for, but then you rushed into the room, flustered because you were late on the first day. You had that butterscotch yellow sweater on and it suited you so well and you looked so bright that it stuck in my mind.” 

A nostalgic smile tugged at his lips. “So I painted buttercups that day.”

You stared at him in disbelief. You hadn't expected this kind of declaration so all you could muster was a small “Oh.”

When you wracked your brains you remembered his painting from that day. It'd left an impression on you back then because you’d liked the way he used the colors.

It was weird to think that without knowing you'd somehow been a part of this painting you’d adored.

He grinned when he saw your flustered expression. “So, do you trust me now?”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“Good. Let's go back inside then, Buttercup? It's getting cold.”

He was about to open the door when you reached out to him, tugging on his sleeve.

“You know,” you mumbled, staring at your fingers that were holding onto the fabric of his sweater.

“Mhm?”

“You shouldn't sleep on the sofa again.”

He chuckled, one eyebrow raised. “Do you really think I'd let you sleep there?”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks and hoped he didn't notice through the dark. “I mean the bed's pretty big, you know…”

“Eh?” Hyunggu looked surprised.  “Are you sure?”

“Can't have you breaking your back on the uncomfortable couch, right?”

He grinned. “Right.”

The two of you went back inside and this time you sat down next to him. In the limited space around the living room table you had to sit closely together, close enough for your thighs to touch. You tried not to think about it too much.

You also tried to ignore the way Hyunggu kept touching you more and more the later it got. Just casual touches that you knew were a habit of his; something he did with all his friends. 

But everytime Shinwon said something remotely funny, Hyunggu clung to your arm or leaned his head against your shoulder, unable to contain his laughter. There was no use reading anything into it, heck, he probably didn't even realize he was doing this. But it made your heart ache for something more, for something real.

As the evening went on, the little get-together started to thin out, one after the other going back to their rooms to call it a night. Hongseok was already passed out on the floor, the shot of soju he'd had already too much. Giggling, Changgu and Shinwon tried to maneuver him out of the living room and into his bed, accompanied by Hui who couldn't quite settle between worrying and giggling along.

Everyone else looked tired too and you also felt fatigue overcome you. Maybe you'd had a little too much to drink as well or maybe you'd gotten too used to the proximity between the two of you all evening. Either way, you leaned your head against Hyunggu's shoulder and closed your eyes for a bit, not even giving it a second thought.

“You can go ahead to sleep,” you heard Hyunggu say, probably to Wooseok and whoever else hadn't left yet. “I'll take care of the chaos and then we'll head up too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, don't worry.”

“Alright. Sleep well.”

You heard the shuffling of steps, but in your drowsy state it sounded a little distant.

When it was quiet again, you suddenly felt fingers ghosting over your temple, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Are you asleep?” Hyunggu's voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper.

“Mhm.”

Hyunggu carefully steadied your head with his hands, before moving away from where he’d been next to you. You groaned in protest when you lost your human pillow, which was met with a chuckle. 

“Don't you think sleeping in bed would be more comfortable?”

A pout on your face, you blinked your eyes open. Hyunggu was crouching down in front of you, his hands still cupping your face. 

“Let's get you to bed, alright?”

“You said we'd clean up,” you mumbled.

“Oh, so you were awake enough to hear that, huh?” He huffed a laugh and shook his head. “I said I would clean up though. Not we. You can sleep first, Buttercup.”

“No.”

“Come on, you're tired, y/n.”

“Mh-mhm.” You shook your head but your eyes fell shut again, refuting your denial.

Hyunggu sighed but he didn't sound annoyed. “Why not? I'll come up just a little later.”

“Will you though?”

“Eh?”

“If I go to bed now,” you mumbled, taking long breaks between words. “You'll sleep on the couch again and I'll wake up all alone.”

“That's what you're worried about?” He sounded genuinely surprised but couldn't contain a chuckle. 

You frowned. “Don't make fun of me.”

“I would never.” 

His thumbs brushed over your cheek before his hands wandered to yours, pulling you up from the floor. Once again you were groaning in protest but he wasn't having any of it, helping you onto your feet. You promptly fell into his chest, but he held you steady, one arm wrapping around your waist.

“I guess cleaning can wait until tomorrow morning after all.”

You couldn't really recall how you got up the stairs but suddenly you were sitting on the bed, your pajamas in your lap while Hyunggu gathered some things from his bag and went to the door.

“You're coming back this time, right?” You weren't sure why you were so hung up on this. Maybe you could blame it on the alcohol later.

“I'm coming back, y/n. Now get changed.”

With that he left the room.

You discarded your clothes of the day on the floor, slipped into your pajamas and crawled under the blanket. 

Somehow, now that you were laying in bed, waiting for Hyunggu to come back, you were feeling awake again, wondering if this had really been the best idea.

You tossed and turned, unsure how to behave. Maybe it'd be best to pretend to be asleep already?

After a few restless minutes, you heard a faint knock on the door. “Y/n, can I come in?”

You instinctively squeezed your eyes shut, not replying. He waited a little longer before you heard the sound of the door opening and him coming into the room. You kept your eyes closed, expecting to feel the mattress dip any second. But it didn't happen. Maybe he left after all?

You blinked one eye open to sneak a peek, just to find him standing right there, staring at the bed, seemingly contemplating something. 

“What?” you asked when he still didn't move after another few seconds. There went your plan of pretending to be asleep.

“Should I get one of the woolen blankets from downstairs?”

It took you a moment to realize that there was only one big blanket. He was asking if you were okay with sharing it or not.

You swallowed, trying to ignore the pounding in your chest. “It's fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally.”

He laid down next to, leaving enough space for your bodies not to touch. Still, you felt the warmth radiating off him and it didn't help calm your nerves.

Hyunggu turned off the bedside lamp before he rolled around to lay on his side, facing you. Even through the dark you could see that he was looking at you, a pensive expression on his face. You returned his gaze, not daring to disturb the silence of the room. His gaze made you nervous. You couldn't read him, couldn’t tell what was going on in his head.

Eventually, you broke eye contact with a breathy chuckle. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” your question was barely a whisper, and even that felt too loud.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You.”

You almost gasped, his response catching you off guard. Heat rose to your cheeks but you tried to play it cool, pretending that his words didn't do anything to you. 

“You're so embarrassing.”

He didn't seem very impressed by your attempt at acting. 

“Says the one who kept clinging to me tonight, who begged me not to sleep on the couch.”

“I didn't beg!” you denied just a little bit too loud, earning a raised eyebrow from Hyunggu. 

“I didn't beg,” you repeated, quietly this time.

“Sure did.”

“I was worried about your back. Since you're my driver and all. Just for my own safety.”

“We have enough cars, who said you're driving back with me tomorrow?” A challenging gleam appeared in his eyes and he inched just a little closer. 

“Am I not?” You tried to make it sound cocky but your voice came out breathless.

“Hm, I don’t know.” He chuckled and you felt his breath fanning over your lips when he did. “If you beg me again I might consider driving you.”

“I already told you, I didn’t beg.”

His gaze wandered to your lips before coming back to your eyes. “Keep deluding yourself.”

You swallowed, your gaze automatically dropping to his lips. 

“I’m… not…” You trailed off, unable to focus on anything but his mouth so close to your own. If you just leaned in a little, a tiny bit—

Before you knew it, you felt his lips against yours. You weren’t sure if you’d closed the gap or if he did, but it hardly mattered. All that mattered was how sweetly he kissed you, his hands finding their way to your waist to hold you close. Hyunggu rolled over onto his back, pulling you on top of him. For a moment you looked into his dark eyes that stared right back at you and you wondered why it had taken you so long to do this. Before you could contemplate the wasted time any longer, Hyunggu leaned up to kiss you again. You sighed into his lips,  your hands wandering to his hips and pushing up the fabric of his shirt.

“Wait.” Hyunggu broke the kiss, gently prying off your hands.

“You don’t want to?” You asked, but before the question was all out you already knew the answer. Of course he didn’t. This was all fake, he wasn’t actually into you.

It was like you’d been hit in the face with the reality of the situation. You felt stupid and embarrassed and you wanted to escape.

You tried pulling your hands away, but Hyunggu held onto them.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, trying to meet your gaze.

“Let me go,” you choked out, already feeling the tears well up in your eyes.

“Y/n, look at me.”

“Let me go,” you repeated like a broken record. You flailed your arms in an attempt to get free, but he easily stopped you,  rolling both of you over and pinning your wrists to the mattress.

“Look at me,” he repeated with a little more urgency.

You shook your head, tears starting to spill out and run down your cheeks.

“Please?”

Reluctantly you obliged, raising your gaze to meet his. A soft smile tugged at his lips and he let go off your wrists to cup your face instead. His thumb brushed away the tears running down your cheeks.

“You know I’m not rejecting you, right?”

You shrugged, not quite believing his words.

“You’re drunk,” he continued. “You’re drunk and you’re tired, so I don’t think we should be doing this. But I’m not rejecting you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you choked out.

He chuckled, his thumb coming up to easen the deep crease that was still apparent between your eyebrows. “Then stop frowning like that, hm, Buttercup?”

“Just—you know—” You interrupted yourself, still feeling terribly stupid about all of this.

“Tell me.”

You shrugged again, trying to look anywhere but his face. “Got me feeling a little lonely I guess.”

“Y/n, you’re not alone.”

“Then why does it feel that way?”

“You’re not.” He leaned in, his lips brushing your temple in a soft kiss, before his lips moved onto the other side. “Even if it feels that way, I promise you're not alone.” He left another kiss on your forehead. “I’m right here.”

You sniffed. “It's easy to say that now. But this will be over tomorrow and we'll go back to being nothing.”

He frowned, but the expression was gone again in a split second, replaced with a gentle smile. 

“We don't have to be nothing, Buttercup.” He whispered, just to correct himself a moment later. “We won't be nothing.”

He let himself fall onto the mattress next to you, opening his arms for you to snuggle into. As soon as you did, they wrapped around you, his fingers drawing soft patterns onto your back. His mouth kept whispering words of reassurance and his lips kept leaving little pecks and kisses on the crown of your head. You relaxed into his embrace, feeling yourself slowly calm down and drift off to sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you felt a little disoriented, needing a moment to remember what happened last night and to realize that you were still wrapped up in Hyunggu's arms.

You felt your face growing hot from embarrassment and tried to wriggle yourself out of his arms without waking him. But as soon as you stirred he made a small sighing noise and pulled you even closer.

“Just a little longer,” he mumbled, seemingly still half asleep. 

At a loss for words or any kind of reaction really, you just resigned for now, letting him hug you close until he'd wake up properly. If you couldn't sneak out, maybe you'd at least get the satisfaction of not being the only one feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Of course you'd forgotten to factor in Hyunggu's annoying amount of confidence. When he finally did wake up he moved back a little, looking at you with a smile that was definitely too bright for someone who'd still been asleep a minute ago.

"Hey." 

He pushed a strand of hair out of your forehead. 

"Hey."

For a while you just looked at each other, his gaze on you so fond it made your heart ache. You swallowed around the lump in your throat, trying to remind yourself that not being nothing didn't mean that you’d be a something.

Muffled noises were coming from the hallway, the sound of steps running up and down the stairs.

“Everyone's awake already,” you mumbled, trying once more to push yourself out of his embrace.

“What about it?” He asked, not letting you go.

“We should get up too. I'm sure they'll want to leave soon.”

Hyunggu shrugged. “Let them.”

“Hyunggu, please,” you complained and this time managed to wriggle yourself out of his grasp.

You slipped out of bed and made your way to the hallway, where you were met with a way too chipper Changgu.

“Guess the lovebirds overslept, huh?” Seeing your tousled, sleepy state he chuckled. “Good timing, I was just about to come wake you up.”

“Yeah, we're up now…” 

You looked around and realized that most rooms were empty already. Wooseok made his way down the stairs, his bag slung over his shoulder.

“Why is everyone in such a hurry?” You asked in confusion, earning another laugh from Changgu.

“It's almost 10:00, y/n. We wanted to leave at 9:30.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

He shrugged before ruffling your already tousled hair. 

“Don't worry about it. We already cleaned up, so just take care of your room and make sure to be out by 11.”

With that he started making his way down the stairs as well, turning around again when he was halfway down. 

“And don't forget to lock up when you go.”

“Wait, Changgu—”

But he didn't stop and soon was out of sight. 

“See you on Monday, y/n,” he shouted from downstairs. And then you heard the front door fall shut, leaving an eerie silence in the house.

You tiptoed back to your room, finding Hyunggu exactly how you'd left him, curled up in bed.

Helplessly you just stood in the door frame for a bit, until he turned around to you with a scrunched up face. 

“What's up?”

“Everyone left.”

“Mhm.” He patted the spot next to him on the mattress. “Perfect, let's sleep a little longer then.”

“We have to be out in an hour.”

He groaned but pulled back the blanket and sat up. “You're such a spoilsport, y/n.”

The two of you got ready to go, cleaning up your room and packing up your things. Just as Changgu had said, the kitchen and living room were already all cleaned up and it made you feel a little guilty—especially since Hyunggu had promised to clean yesterday.

Hyunggu didn't seem to struggle with the same pricks of conscience; he was in a good mood, humming softly the whole time.

After loading his car, he checked the front door, making sure it was locked properly, before plopping down on the driver's seat of his car.

Since you hadn't had any breakfast yet, the two of you stopped for a coffee along the ride. Hyunggu had asked if you wanted to sit down to eat somewhere, but you'd declined in favor of getting home more quickly. Or maybe just to keep yourself from getting more delusional.

So, Hyunggu pulled into the parking lot of a café and quickly hopped in while you waited in the car for him to come back.

He soon returned with the coffee and two croissants for the both of you, handing them to you when he got back into the car.

“Sorry, not the most copious breakfast, but better than nothing.”

You laughed dryly. “It's fine Hyunggu. It's not like this is a date or anything. I'm not your girlfriend anymore, remember?”

He looked taken aback for a moment, before he turned away from you to start the motor. 

“Right.”

You wondered if you'd said something wrong, because his good mood from before seemed to be washed away. Instead, you were once again stuck in a silent car together, feeling tense and anxious. The rest of the ride was quiet, except for the music coming from the speakers. He didn't hum along.

You silently sipped on your coffee and munched on your croissant, well aware Hyunggu left his own breakfast untouched but not daring to speak up about it.

When you reached your house he turned off the motor, the music stopping as well.

You didn't move, feeling uneasy to leave things like this.

“Uhm, thanks for the ride,” you mumbled after a while, your gaze focused on your hands.

“Sure.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “I'll help you get your things.”

“It's fine, I can do it.”

But Hyunggu had already gotten out of the car.

You trailed behind, watching helplessly as he got your bag out and walked towards your house. He stopped in front of the door, a bit to the side to give you the space to unlock it.

But you didn't move, too afraid that opening the door meant leaving things like this.

“Forgot your keys?” He asked after a while.

You shook your head, reluctantly fishing them from your pocket. Right before putting the key into the lock  you stopped, turning around to face him.

“I'm sorry,” you blurted out.

He huffed a tired laugh. “What for?”

“I don't know... Just—I feel like I said something wrong.”

“It's not that. I just misunderstood your intentions. But it's fine, really.”

He held out your bag for you to take but you just stared at him, searching for something in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn't matter, y/n. Don't worry about it.”

You swallowed around the lump inside your throat and finally took the bag from him. He raised his hand in a small wave before turning around and walking to his car, leaving you feeling anxious.

You couldn't shake the uneasy feeling for the rest of the day. You considered texting him but maybe he needed some space?

Unable to calm your nerves, you went to bed early, hoping to shut your thoughts out.  But it wasn't working, not when your bed felt so lonely and cold now that you had to sleep alone. It was ridiculous to feel that way; it'd only been one night. But his arms around you had been so warm, so comforting that you already missed them. You tossed and turned for hours, and when sleep finally found you the sun had already started to rise again.

The next day you were tired and miserable, your mind wandering back to Hyunggu and your cold farewell from yesterday the second you woke up.

You wanted to skip college, not really in the mood to deal with people right now. But in the hopes of meeting Hyunggu and being able to clear things up, you dragged yourself out of bed and got ready.

To your surprise though, Hyunggu wasn't in the class you shared and you also didn't see him in the cafeteria. You knew you could ask your friends if they'd seen him but you weren't really in the mood to answer any of their questions.

Maybe his skipping class had nothing to do with you at all, but your gut feeling told you he was avoiding you. It hurt.

You briefly wondered if that was how Hyunggu had felt when you’d ignored him after the party. Maybe this was karma.

You weren't feeling too optimistic, but you still decided to check the atelier, hoping that maybe Hyunggu would be there. To your surprise he really was, sitting in front of an easel and working on a painting. He didn’t even look up when you entered the room and closed the door behind you.

“Hyunggu.”

He glanced over but immediately turned his focus back to his brush. 

“Hey,” he replied curtly, letting the room fall silent again.

“Can we talk?”

“I'm kinda busy right now.” He gestured at his painting. “The deadline is soon.”

You knew it was a lie but you nodded anyway, stepping a little further into the room.

“Then maybe we could have a coffee this weekend—”

“Y/n,” He sighed, setting the brush aside to look at you. “Just give me some time, alright?”

You swallowed, unsure what to say.

Of course, you should give him the space he needed. But it just felt so unsettling. It felt like you'd lose him if you didn't hold onto him now.

"I'm sorry," you said, surprised by how choked up your own voice sounded. “It's just—” 

You took a deep breath. “You said we won't be nothing. But why does it feel that way now?”

“I thought you hated my guts anyway.”

You weren't sure if it was supposed to be a joke or not. It didn't sound like one.

“Hate is such a strong word.”

A tired laugh slipped past his lips. “You got me there.”

You started to get frustrated, unsure how to fix this. It almost felt as if your words didn't matter at all, as if they didn't reach him anyway.

Tears started gathering in your eyes but you tried your best not to cry.

“So can we just—” 

You interrupted yourself, not confident to keep from crying if you continued. It wasn't fair that things were like this. You hadn't meant for things to turn out this way.

“I miss you,” you eventually blurted out and with it your tears started to spill. You didn't care anymore, letting them run down your cheeks. 

“It's only been a day but I already miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss being with you. I don't want us to be nothing.”

Hyunggu's gaze immediately softened and he stood up to walk over to you. He reached out his hands, gently cupping your face and wiping your tears away.

“I got it,” he whispered and he looked so in pain, as if seeing you like this made his heart ache just as much as yours. “I got it. We won't be nothing. So don't cry, Buttercup.”

“I'm sorry,” you choked out between sobs. “I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I'm sorry if I hurt you.”

He hummed in reply, pulling you against his chest. “It's okay already. Don't worry.”

He drew soft patterns onto your back to calm you, just like he did that last night on the trip. You weren't sure for how long you stood there, but the whole time he held you close, patiently waiting for you to calm down.

When you finally calmed down a bit, you knew you should probably let go of him. But you didn't want to leave his embrace, not when it felt so warm and comforting. He must have noticed that you'd stopped crying, but he didn't let go either, his fingers still running over your back.

“Should I drive you home?” He asked eventually.

You nodded and reluctantly peeled yourself out of his arms. “Thank you.”

“Let me just gather my things real quick, hm?”

He packed up his equipment and then slung his bag over his shoulder.

“Let's go?”

Before you could reply he just took your hand and pulled you along, out of the atelier and then out of the building to the parking lots. You kept your eyes on the ground, feeling self conscious both about your tear stained face and the fact that Hyunggu was holding your hand.

Of course the latter didn't make a lot of sense, not when all your friends thought you were dating anyway, but you couldn't help it.

The ride home was quiet again, but it was a different quiet. It wasn't filled with the uncomfortable tension from before. He wasn't angry or cold, he was just calm.

Nevertheless, you felt a little nervous. Of course you were relieved that you somehow managed to patch things up between the two of you, but you weren't entirely sure what all of this meant. The whole fake dating thing was supposed to be over, but the way he'd treated you didn't exactly seem platonic—or were you just reading too much into this? Was he just being nice? Hyunggu was an affectionate person by nature after all, maybe he just wanted to comfort you as a friend.

“We're here,” Hyunggu said once you’d reached your house.

“We're here,” you repeated but you didn't move. You didn't want to part yet but you also didn't have a good excuse to stay.

For a moment you sat in silence, before Hyunggu spoke up again.

“Should I help you with your things?”

You glanced at your things: a small backpack you'd put between your feet and your coat that laid in your lap. There wasn't really anything to help with, you knew that and Hyunggu knew it too.

You looked back up at him. 

“Sure.”

Both of you got out of his car and he slung your backpack over his shoulder as you made your way to the door. The scene felt familiar, him carrying your bag and all. You didn't want to end it the same way though, you didn't want him to leave again.

After unlocking your door, you turned around to him before pushing it open. 

“Uhm, do you want to come in for a coffee?”

The moment you asked he broke into a bright smile that made your heart race.

"I'd love to."

You felt a little self-conscious about letting him into your flat—you hadn't specifically cleaned up and while it wasn't a complete mess it also wasn't particularly tidy either.

Hyunggu didn't seem to mind. He looked around with curious eyes, taking in the way you decorated your home without being too nosy.

“Sorry I didn't—it's a little chaotic,” you mumbled watching him.

“No, don't be, I like your home.” He smiled. “It's comfortable.”

Maybe he was just being polite, but somehow it made your heart flutter to hear him say that. 

After you were done making coffee, you moved to your living room and sat on the couch. The two of you talked a bit, all the while sipping on your coffee. There wasn’t any particular topic, you talked about this and that, from college or your friends to one of the paintings on your wall that Hyunggu commented on. Despite the random topics, it felt easy and comfortable. You were so used to the endless banter between the two of you, it was nice to  know you could talk to each other casually —without any teasing. Without any crying too.

You tried to drink your coffee slowly, knowing full well that once the two of you had emptied your cups there was no reason for Hyunggu to stay any longer. Hyunggu took his time as well, purposely or not, but eventually you were done; two empty cups on your coffee table.

Hyunggu looked at them pensively, then glanced at his watch.

You knew what was coming.

You didn't want him to leave.

He turned to you. “Maybe I should—”

“Do you want to watch a movie?” You blurted out, interrupting him.

He almost looked relieved. “Yeah.”

You put on a random movie that Netflix recommended to you and it wasn't as bad as you would have expected. From time to time either of you commented on something that made the other giggle. You'd noticed this before, especially when your other friends were around, but it was easy to make Hyunggu laugh. And god, were you thankful for that. You loved the sound of it and you loved the little creases that would form in the corners of his eyes and how he’d push out his chin.

When the movie was almost over your stomach decided it was a good moment to ask for attention.

Hyunggu grinned. “Am I keeping you from having dinner, Buttercup?”

You shrugged, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I didn't have a lot for lunch,” you explained, embarrassed.

“Should we order something? That is, if you don't mind having me around for dinner?”

“Let's order.”

The food hadn't arrived yet when the movie ended, so you started another one that you continued after the food came.

Hyunggu was more relaxed with you again. It showed in his laughter and in the way his hand kept finding your arm or your thigh, casually touching you as he spoke.

It wasn't that you didn't know this side of him—you'd seen it plenty when you all hung out with your friends. But it'd never been this way when it was just the two of you; he'd never let his guard down like this with you before. It made your heart yearn for more. You wanted to be able to always have this, not just tonight.

“It's gotten pretty late, huh?” Hyunggu commented eventually—your dinner long eaten and the end credits rolling over your TV screen.

You swallowed. “I guess so.”

“Should I—,” he hesitated. “Maybe it's time for me to go?”

No, you thought. “Maybe,” you replied. 

For a moment it was quiet, neither of you saying anything. You just looked at each other, as if both of you waited for the other to make a move.

You swallowed again, your heart racing like crazy under his gaze. “Is it bad if I don't want you to go?”

A soft smile played on his lips. “Is it bad if I don’t want to go?”

“Not at all.”

The two of you started another movie, but you got unbearably tired before the movie was even halfway through. When your eyes involuntarily closed once more, Hyunggu chuckled softly.

“Maybe we should call it a day?”

You nodded, turning off the movie and standing up to go to the bedroom. Hyunggu followed you to the hallway, but from there he stopped, looking a little unsure, his eyes wandering between you and his shoes that were sitting close to the entrance.

You looked at him with a sleepy frown. "You're not coming?"

“No, uh, sure.” He cocked his head from one side to the other and you wondered if it was a nervous habit of his.

You got bed ready—as best as you could with Hyunggu not having anything with him—before you settled into your bed. There was a polite distance between the two of you and it made you feel a little lonely and unsatisfied but you didn't know what to do to fix it.

After staring at the ceiling for a while you turned around, examining his side profile through the dark.

"Hyunggu?" you mumbled eventually, your voice trembling with nerves.

He turned around to face you. "Mhm?" 

You took your time with saying anything else, unsure what it even was you wanted to say. Hyunggu didn't rush you though, he just looked at you attentively, waiting for you to go on.

Your gaze kept flickering, unable to hold eye contact but also not capable of looking away for good. 

“I'm cold.”

You thought you saw a soft smile on his face when he opened his arms for you to snuggle into.

You looked up at him through the darkness, your faces mere inches apart. He looked right back, holding your gaze.

“I like when you look at me like that,” he whispered, not breaking eye contact.

“Like what?”

“Like that.” You felt his lips grazing yours, just the ghost of a touch, before he pulled away again, his eyes searching yours for consent.

In a silent reply, you leaned in to close the gap. Your lips moved together, gently at first but then more and more greedily. It hadn’t been long since you’d kissed him, but doing it now made you realize how much you’d been longing to do it again. 

He pulled you close, one hand cupping your jaw while the other found its way to your hip, grazing the skin underneath your shirt.

“I’m not drunk now,” you whispered against his lips, your fingers tugging at the waistband of his underwear.

He pulled away and for a brief second you were overcome with a sense of deja vu, the fear of getting rejected rushing through you again.

But he didn’t go far, his hand still cupping your face when he replied. “And tomorrow?”

“What about tomorrow?”

“Will you let me take you on a date then?” His lips briefly grazed yours before he continued. “Or will we be nothing again?”

Your heart was racing in your chest like crazy. You nodded hastily. “Yeah. No.”

“Which one is it?”

“No, you can. You can. Take me on a date.” You felt him smile against your lips before he kissed you again. “Okay.” 

Hyunggu didn’t stop kissing you, not even when he rolled over, bracing himself up on one arm to hover above you. His fingers wandered underneath the fabric of your shirt, grazing your skin with featherlight touches that left goosebumps in their wake. You sighed into his lips which just egged him on more, if the way his fingers got bolder was anything to go by. He pushed up your shirt until the fabric was bunching over your collar bones, most of your upper body exposed to him. He grinned mischievously, pressing a kiss onto the corner of your mouth, before his lips traveled down your jaw to your bare chest. While his mouth kept teasing your skin, his hand moved on to your shorts, softly tugging at the waistband.

“This okay?” he mumbled into your skin.

When you nodded, he dipped his fingers into your pants. A small gasp escaped your lips when you felt him touching you through the thin material of your underwear. Your hands instinctively moved to his shoulders.

"Off," you complained, tugging on the fabric of his shirt. "I wanna touch you too."

Hyunggu lifted his head to look at you, something like surprise in his eyes that quickly gave way to a soft smile.

"Then I shouldn't stop you, hm?"

He left a small peck on your cheek before sitting up and slipping out of his shirt and tossing it aside. The fabric had barely hit the ground when you pulled him in again. You kissed him, your hands running over the expanse of his back, marveling at the feeling of his warm skin against your own.

"Better?" He mumbled into your lips and you could hear the grin in his voice.

"Much better."

Your hands traveled over his skin to his hips, sneaking into his boxer briefs. He let out a soft sigh when you touched him and you couldn’t help wanting to hear more of his voice. You moved your hands experimentally, in awe of his little gasps and moans.

Suddenly, his fingers clasped onto yours, making you halt in your movements.

“Let me take care of you first,” he whispered, his breathing slightly erratic.

“But I don’t want to be the only one enjoying this.” You almost pouted a little and it drew a breathy chuckle from him.

“Oh, I’m enjoying this plenty; don’t worry, Buttercup.”

His hand once more found its way to the waistband of your shorts, hooking one finger underneath and letting it snap back onto your skin.

“Should we get rid of these?”

You nodded, as your hands impatiently moved to help him take them off, pushing your underwear down as well. Hyunggu pulled them all the way down, gently lifting your legs to remove them completely. Before he set your legs back down onto the mattress, he left gentle pecks on your ankles and then your knees, as he crawled up between them. His lips continued their path, leaving a trail of kisses on your inner thigh. Once he’d reached his destination, he looked up at you with round eyes.

“May I?” 

You swallowed, anticipation rushing through your body. “Yeah.”

A smile spread on his lips. His hands took hold of your thighs, gently urging them to open a little more and give him access. Just feeling his breath against your skin already made you shudder, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of his mouth on you. He made you fall apart so easily, his every move making you tremble. Your hands clung to his shoulders, instinctively trying to pull him in more as you felt the knot starting to build in your lower stomach. 

“Feels good,” you babbled thoughtlessly, followed by a string of moans.

Hyunggu pulled away to meet your gaze, his hand taking the place of his mouth to keep you on edge. 

“You close, Buttercup?”

You barely managed to breathe out a reply, unable to focus on anything but the way he touched you. He pecked your thigh once more, before moving in again, his tongue and lips getting back to work. It was all you could do to hold onto him as he sent you over the edge. Your fingers clung to his shoulders, as he helped you ride out your high, probably leaving scratch marks in their wake, but you were too far gone to notice. 

Once you’d come down a little, he scooted back up to look at you. His eyes were so full of awe, gazing at you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world and for the moment you could almost believe it yourself.

When he still didn’t avert his gaze nor say anything after a few seconds, you self-consciously turned your head away.

“No, don’t,” he whispered softly, cupping your jaw to make you face him again. “Let me look at you.”

You let out a timid laugh. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah.” He pecked your cheek. “It is.”

You wanted to complain, but he was looking at you with such a gentle expression, you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“But it’s okay,” he continued. “You’re safe with me.”

When you woke up, you were still wrapped up in Hyunggu’s arms. You instinctively snuggled a little closer which was met with a warm chuckle.

Still sleepy, you raised your head to look at him. Hyunggu was already awake, watching you with fond eyes.

“"Did you sleep well?”

You made an affirmative noise before you tucked yourself back into his chest.

“We should get ready for classes.”

You shook your head. 

“You want to skip, Buttercup?”

“Just for today.” 

You didn't want to let him go yet, you needed to stay in his warm embrace as long as possible.

“And people say I'm the bad influence.” Hyunggu huffed a laugh but his arms pulled you closer, one of his hands running over your back.

You must have drifted off to sleep again, because the next time you blinked your eyes open, you were laying on Hyunggu's chest, one of his arms loosely on your back while your own arm was slung around his waist. Hyunggu had fallen asleep again too, his breathing coming in even puffs. 

You gazed at his sleeping form, taking in every little detail of his face, from his full lips to his dark lashes. He was beautiful.

Without giving it much thought, your fingers ghosted over his skin, moving from one faint mole to the next. You'd never noticed that he had so many. Of course you had seen the one below his eye, but there was another one on his cheek, the tip of his nose, under his mouth, on his lip—

“What are you doing?”

Hyunggu looked at you through sleepy eyes. Before you could draw back your hand, his fingers wrapped around it and pulled it to his chest.

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow when you still didn't reply.

You averted your eyes, heat tingling under your skin. 

“Just,” you shrugged. “You have a lot of birthmarks.”

“You don't like them?”

“I do. They are pretty.”

He broke into a smile, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes. You thought you could get used to this sight in the morning.

Hyunggu rolled over to his side, his face incredibly close to your own.

“You know what else is pretty?” He whispered, his gaze not leaving you. 

“Your eyes,” he whispered with a charming grin, leaving a peck on the corner of your eye. “And your nose,” he continued, leaving a peck there too.

“And your lips.” He cupped your face to kiss you and you couldn’t help giggling into it.

He pulled away, eyeing you fondly. “But you know what’s the prettiest?”

“Hm?”

“The way you look at me,” he pecked your lips again. “That's the prettiest.”

“You said that yesterday. How do I look at you?”

“As if you're in love with me.”

You felt your breathing catch in your throat. You’d understood the meaning behind yesterday’s words, but you hadn’t expected him to address the matter so easily.

“Are you not?” He asked, when you stayed silent.

“I—No—”

“No?”

You blinked at him slowly, unsure what to say, too scared to just put the answer out there.

“Do you want me to make it easier for you?” Hyunggu whispered against your lips. He didn’t wait for your reply before he continued. “I am. I’m in love with you, y/n.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst. You stared at him with wide eyes and he just looked back at you with a gentle expression.

“So?” He asked, the word tickling on your skin.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Me too.”

He kissed you again then, a happy smile on his lips.

“I made up my mind,” he mumbled after a while, both of you still cuddled up in your bed.

“What do you mean?”

He turned his head to look at you. “The favor. I know what I want now.”

“So what do you want?”

“A date. A proper one.”

“Didn’t we already agree on that yesterday?”

“Better to pin you down on it.”

“Pin me down then.”

“Is that a challenge?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or an invitation?”

You shrugged, unable to contain a giggle. “Try and find out?”

He didn’t need to be told twice. In a swift movement he flipped you over, his hands pinning your wrists to the mattress.

“Either way,” he mumbled against your lips with a smug grin. “Seems like I won.”

You grinned back before you leaned up to kiss him. “I guess so.” 

Masterlist

#kino x reader #hyunggu x reader #pentagon x reader #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #pentagon headcanons #pentagon reactions #kino fluff #hyunggu fluff #pentagon fluff #pentagon smut #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop headcanons #pentagon #pentagon drabble #pentagon fic #kebbis.writing

[daenystheedreamer]

one of my dearest mutuals keeps reblogging rwrb post and they're flooding my home page and driving me insane. sorry. needed to get this off my chest

solidarity my brother solidarity 😭 this stupid smooth twunks are ruining my life. ill never understnd why people dont just watch gay porn.

#you can have your fluff movie. but then you get too proud too greedy and you start saying its kino its revolutionary.... #your tepid boys love is not kino. it is not revolutionary. #ask #anonymous

[adachicuto]

kino’s love languages

warning: food mentions

⇾ acts of service

as someone with a very hectic schedule, hyunggu would appreciate your efforts to make things just a little bit easier for him and he would always try and return the favor for you

so, he’d make dinner for you or if he wouldn’t have time he’d order you favorite foods after you had a long day. he’d just want there to be one less thing for you to worry about so he’d do all he could to make sure of that

when you’d be under a lot of stress he would try and make things less stressful for you by allowing you to vent to him and he’d get your favorite snacks and would cuddle you until you’d feel better

would bring you lunch or coffee whenever he’d have time but he’d definitely make time to do little things like that for you and he’d leave little notes wishing you a good day to put another smile on your face

⇾ physical touch

hyunggu would definitely love to wrap you up in hugs any chance he’d get bc it would be a way to show love to you but i also think he would find it very comforting to be able to pull you into his arms

especially after a long day. he’d enter your shared place and he’d find you in the living room watching a show or something and he’d smile before he’d go over and sit next to you so he could pull you into a big hug

he’d always hold your hand when out in public and would probably pull you into a hug every now and then. he’d just always have to hold your hand or something bc he’d find it comforting

hyunggu would appreciate it so much when you’d pull him into a hug after a hard day and of course he’d always do the same for you bc he’d want you to know that he’d always be there for you. he’d be very at ease knowing you’d also always be there for him

⇾ quality time

he’d love to spend time with you so if he can bring you along, he’d do it. like if he could invite you to hang out at the building while he and the members are practicing he would and he’d check on you every chance he’d get to see if you’d need anything

i can see him being super excited if you’d want to learn some of their choreo of if you’d just want to dance with him and he’d explain everything very well to you and you’d probably end up spending most of the day dancing together and it would be a day well spent

i think spending the day at home, especially on rainy days, would be so nice for hyunggu bc he’s get to catch up on his favorite shows with you and see what you’d been up to if he previously had a super busy schedule

he’d love to travel with you and it could be anywhere. it wouldn’t matter to him as long as he’d get to spend so much needed time with you exploring a new place or finding hidden gems somewhere you’d visited before

#pentagon #pentagon scenarios #pentagon fluff #ptg #ptg fluff #ptg scenarios #ptg imagines #kino #kino scenarios #kino fluff #kino imagines #kang hyunggu #hyunggu scenarios #hyunggu imagines #kang kino #pentagon kino

[gaymergal]

With 5 minutes left to 4/17/2023 - a quick one shot Rei x Makoto fic for Rei’s birthday

#kino makoto #hino rei #sailor moon #fanfic #fluff #birthday fic #rei x makoto #makoto x rei

[emiliasilverova]

Chibi Dump 9: Singing His Heart Out

Technically, this drawing is almost a month old, because I was on the best of vacations in the meantime... dammit, why does it feel like a lifetime ago to me

Anyway. As you've probably noticed... I've gone digital 🎉Sure removes the chore of cleaning my drawings, but also introduced new challenges, haha. Mainly this is still in the experimental phase because I am not totally satisfied with the way this looks. Say hi to my pig-headed perfectionism.

So Craig!Alec returns to accompany Janus' vocals. I mentioned last time that I was hooked on Kino's Legenda... well guess what our (my?) favourite bastard is singing 🙃

А жизнь—только слово. Есть лишь любовь и есть смерть. But life is just a word. There is only love and death.

I don't know... somehow this sounds about right for a confused, clueless fellow like Janus.

#james bond #007 #goldeneye #alec trevelyan #006 #janus #multiverse #angst #but also fluff #music #guitar #song #kino #soviet rock #melancholy #i swear listen to kino #chibi #chibi doodles #digital art

[ivryne]

⌗ THE AFTERMATH ( NEW VERSION )

genshin smau | scara x f!reader

# SYNOPSIS ; You had it coming, really. It was your fault that you accepted that reckless dare, and it was your responsibility to deal with the aftermath. The question was how? How were you going to face all your pride and dignity after you slept with HIM? Your arch nemesis, the bane of your existence, and your number one rival since highschool, Scaramouche Kunikuzushi.

pairings. scaramouche (kunikuzushi) x f!reader

genre. romance, crack, slice of life, rivals to lovers, modern au, college/uni setting, age 20-21

warnings. misunderstandings, slow burn, mommy issues, family issues, jealousy, mental breakdowns, fluff, 16+ nothing too steamy. timestamps don’t matter just ignore them

status. comming soon

(🩹) means there r gonna be written parts!

NOW PLAYING . . .

featuring . . . mentally un(st)able | need help ASAP

AND ACTION ! . .

act one — too late to back out

1. exes and whatnots

2. provocation of an enemy 🩹

3. false hopes

4. last five shots

5. a night to remember. or not

6. what’s done is done

7. forgotten promises

8. new semester, new me

9. bitchless behavior

…

act two — never settle for less

…

act three — above average

…

CUT ! SHOW’S OVER 🎥

taglist — CLOSED! ( please inform me if you changed your user or wanna ber removed ! ) @raideneiari @kino-alternative @xirthia @meigalaxy @ghostsaysno @sakiimeo @lxry-chxn @mcryv @ar1sc0rn3r @thomawifey @thenightsflower @scaraapologist @plinkuro @kairxse @baelloraa @scaravibe @samyayaya @darkcheesecakemusic @lazy-sanns @blurr3db3rry @lfgceo @kaekazuha04 @certaindreampost @kissingkzuha @jinxnotpowder @exhaustedcommunist @katsumikumo @phoenix-eclipses @tatiratty @anotherdayanotherobsession @celestair @lunaavity @bajifairyy @azu-rei @starryeyedkoko @kar0ki @cindywasneverhere @strangeauthorrascalfreak @lilactaro @kxr0mi @aludicpoet @albedonwanderer @d4y-dr3am3r @karma-gisa @elakari @scarletttcroww @vatuuxa @nxsh30

NOTE. Hello!! welcome back to the new version of the aftermath! I am so excited for this and I hope it goes well!! I hope you r gonna enjoy this onee aaa.

do not repost, share, or copy ! Reblogs and likes very much appreciated! Ty for taking ur time to read this. I hope i rlly get through w this bc i’m so inconsistent hehe.

©️ sher | shrslair

#genshin smau #genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact #genshin x you #wanderer x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x y/n #kunikuzushi #genshin headcanons #wanderer #scaramouche #scaramouche x you