#pentagon x you

[blizzardfluffykpop]

By My Side

Summary: Your journey to the top and the man who supported you the whole way. 

Long Fic (Oneshot)

Fluff, Angst? (Mainly Racing Anxiety), Slight Suggestive Parts, Strangers to Lovers au, Opposites attract au?, Idol au

Word Count: 19,000

Idol!Hyunggu (Kino) X Racecar Driver!Reader

[Features: The rest of OT9]

[Long A/n: There is the barest of information about entries vs starting in Formula 1. The only information I was able to gain about it was researching women who’ve raced in the sport. Only two of the five ever got to race (vv sad news), so for entries vs starting it will be speculation but based off of the real races! Also Pentagon’s scheduling is going to be a little off, but it’s so it works for the story tbh.]

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You’ve known since you were five that you wanted to be a Formula One racer. And when you were eight, your parents started taking you karting with them. It didn’t take long before you started taking karting lessons. You even taught classes to younger kids before gaining entry into Formula Three. As you practiced day in and day out, you knew there were no guarantees of getting into Formula One. But you never gave up, and maybe with some help from Kang Hyunggu, you finally obtained your FIA super license. 

You were twenty-three when you first met Kang Hyunggu by chance. And for some reason, the two of you hit it off instantly. It didn’t make sense because you were from two very different worlds. With him being an idol singer and you being a racecar driver, you were polar opposites. But you both shared the same love for coffee and flowers and had the same music taste. It started from there, with small meets at a coffee shop. At first, both of your managers managed your meetups. Something else you both had in common. But after a year of meeting each other and getting to know one another. Your managers had let up after they ensured you both knew the consequences if the public were to find out. But at the time, what would it matter to the world? You were just friends getting to know each other with what little time you had. 

You guys were lying on your bed in your apartment when he asked, “Do you think we’ll ever get our first win?” And you smiled, “Of course. Maybe it’s from a Universe's perspective at this point, but I feel that come this time next year, you’ll have gained one.” He smiled and thanked you, and you asked, “Do you think I’ll ever make it out of Formula Three?” He nodded, “With your talent, there’s no doubt.” You pouted, "How would you know?" And he continued, “What do you say if I come to one of your races, manager approved, of course, and I see for myself?” You smiled, “It’d be nice to have someone other than my crew cheering me on.”

After you both received approval, he was able to watch you race. It was slightly nerve-wracking having the guy you had a crush on watch one of your races, but you took it in stride. He walked you to your racecar, encouraging you the whole way. When you arrived at the garage, he said, “If you win, I have something important to tell you.” You raise your eyebrow at him, “And if I don’t?” He shrugs, “I guess you’ll never know.” 

For your past two seasons, your top place was fifth, and even that was an incredible feat for you. But with a good qualifying round, you gained pole position, earning you an advantage. You gulped as you watched the lights go and gunned it. Maybe it was because you wanted to know what he was going to tell you. Or perhaps it was sheer dumb luck. But somehow, you had not only won that race. You had also won it by a large margin, something you had been trying to do since you started racing.

You raced your victory lap and came back to the starting position. You gasped as you realized you only had one more criterion left to meet to gain a super license. You hopped out of your car to see your team readily congratulating you. And you cheered with them as they lifted you into the air. When you came down and hopped over the fence, you saw Hyunggu holding a flower bouquet. You blushed as he handed it to you, “What did you want to tell me?” You asked as you thanked him for the flowers and brought him into a hug. He smiled, “That you look cute in your outfit.” You shook your head as you blushed. Before you could ask him if that’s really what he wanted to tell you. They rushed you into an interview room, “Are you going to do your last requirement to gain your super license, Mx. (L/n)?” You nodded, “Yes, I’m going to go onwards and complete the safety regulations test at the end of this season.” They nod, satisfied with your answer. Before they could ask you more questions, your manager came in and took you out to treat everyone to a nice dinner. 

As you sat around the table, everyone chatting, the engineer turned to you. He smiled and announced to the table, “You’ve grown so much as a racer over the past two years I’ve gotten to know you. Are you ready for the big leagues, kid?” You looked at your plate, “I believe so.” The table laughed, “You’ll do fine!” And they were right. After years of studying up on the quiz, you passed it with flying colors. And Hyunggu was right there to congratulate you, holding another bouquet. 

You accepted the flowers as he pulled you into a hug. You held him tightly against you, your emotions getting to you as you shook with tears. And he went, “You did it. I knew you could.” You thanked him, and he said, “Let’s celebrate.” You nodded, and he took you both out to a little diner. After you order your meals, he tells you, “I think it’s time I tell you the important thing I wanted to tell you.” You pout, “So you didn’t think I was cute in my outfit.” He shook his head with a laugh, “I thought you were the cutest. But that wasn’t all I wanted to tell you.” You nodded for him to go on, “I like you a lot. And not just in a friendly type of way.” You pinched yourself as you said, “This has to be a dream.” And he shook his head, “No.” And you smiled as you grabbed his hand and interlocked your fingers, “I like you a lot, too. Do you want to consider this our first date?” He smiled, “I’d like that.” 

You finished up the racing season and relaxed a bit. But you didn’t know how much you were really up against. After all, no one ever mentions the people who don’t qualify for Formula One. It’s only about those who do. And when you put your name down and saw the list of other candidates. Who were just as hungry as you to be on the track.... It dawned on you that this may be harder than you believed. You told Hyunggu of your worries, and he held you close as he eased your mind. He assured you that you were just as capable as the other racers behind the wheel, if not more. It soothed your nerves and made you practice more for it. Whenever he wasn’t at practice, he was watching you in the stands, getting your time lower and lower. You just had to be a quarter of a second faster than your competitors. And you were doing everything to make that happen. 

You finished after eight hours of practice to see Hyunggu racing down the stands to greet you. His binoculars were hanging around his neck, and you giggled, “How long have you been watching?” He smiles, “A few hours.” You smiled as you pecked his cheek, “Thanks.” He shrugs, “You’re doing fantastic out there. You got this.” You shrugged, “I’m not so sure, but I’ll continue at it until I am.” He nods before asking, “Do you wanna watch me practice?” You agree, and he leads you by the hand to his car, “It’s weird to be in a slow-moving vehicle after eight hours.” He looks over at you with wide eyes, “You’ve been out here since six a.m.?” You nod, “I couldn’t stand to be away. You’re the same way when you practice.” He laughs, “Yeah, I guess we have that in common too.” You shake your head at him as he shifts out of park and drives to the company. 

He has you grab lunch in the cafeteria before leading you to the practice room. “(Y/n)! It’s so good to see you again!” Hongseok greets you cheerily, leading the rest of them into an uproar. You laugh as you greet them and walk over to the bench seat. “I’m just here to watch and eat my lunch~” Shinwon laughs, “You sure it’s not just to watch Kino?” You laugh, “You caught me.” Hyunggu winks at you through the mirror, and they start practicing some of their older songs. As you finish up your meal and throw away the trash, their choreographer comes in. “Hey guys! I’ve finalized some new moves for your new title and wanted to go over them with you guys.” You hold back your gasp as you realize you’re an outsider and fan getting to watch part of the demo for the first time. 

Hyunggu comes over to grab a drink of water before they start, and you ask, “Should I cover my eyes? I don’t want to offend or worry the choreographer.” He shakes his head, “Baby, I watch you practice new tricks on the track all the time. It’s okay.” You nod, and he kisses the top of your head before walking back. The choreographer reviews what they’ve learned and the new moves he is implementing. And you watch in awe as they move around the room. When they’ve finished the initial learning, they take a quick break. Then, the choreographer calls, “Let’s put this to music, guys!” 

He clicks a button on a remote, and they all start dancing as he oversees. As the music filters through the room, you can’t believe your ears. It sounds so delightful, and the dance seemed to encapsulate the melancholy feeling of letting someone go. As they started correcting things, you couldn’t help but wonder what inspired them to write it. When they finally finish up, you give a round of applause. The choreographer thanked you as he walked out of the room. 

Hyunggu slides down the wall beside your seat and asks, “So, what do you think?” “Well, the song is heartbreakingly beautiful, and the dance so far? It’s amazing! I can’t wait to see the finalized version.” The others laugh, and Hui lays on the floor and cheers, “You and me both!” You smile as you ask, “Who wrote it?” And he answers again, “Wooseok, Nathan, and me.” You nod and wish to ask him why, but feeling how heart-wrenching it was. You decide it was better to guess. You look at the clock to see it’s six and yawn, “Do you guys want to get dinner?” That seemed to bring their spirits up as they cheered and got ready. 

“Are you sure you’re not tired from your long day?” Hyunggu says, looking at the time. And you shake your head, “I gained my energy back while watching you dance.” You tell him, finishing off your sentence with a yawn. And he shakes his head, “Says the one who’s yawning. You can nap in my car.” You laugh and place your head on his shoulder, catching a few milliseconds of sleep as the rest rush around. You both walk out to his car, gaining a few passengers as you do. Knowing that if you weren’t fast from past experiences, you’d end up in the back, so you shout, “Shotgun!” And the other three groan, and you smirk, “I knew it.” And the tall ones groan as they file into his car. Yuto mumbles, “It’s always more cramped in the back!” And Wooseok grumbles in the middle, “My long legs have no room to go!” This causes Shinwon to whine, “Quit bumping into me!”  You laugh and tease, “I have so much legroom up here~” And the three roll their eyes as he takes off to the restaurant. 

You relax and enjoy your meal as they talk about their upcoming comeback that’ll happen in a few months. When the scheduler is about to drop, and how they’re excited to release another album. “It feels a little bittersweet to release one without Jinho.” You nod, and they talk about their worries and wonder if they’ll be able to gain a win off of this one or not. You cheer them up by telling them they’ve got their fans behind them every step of the way. And how Universes will do everything they can to make a win for them. They agree with you, and you finish up the meal happily. 

—---

When Hyunggu told you he was an idol, it took you a long time to check out his stuff. Mostly because you were busy but partly because you knew you’d fall even deeper for him. It was about three months into your friendship when you listened to ‘Shine’ for the first time. And before you could even blink, you fell into the world of being a Universe. It felt so exciting. While you had been fans of groups and bands before. This time felt different. As you got to know them and their 'idol-like selves,' it was hard to spot the differences. Yes, there were times when they had worn fake smiles and done scripted things. But you found they were just as genuine on-screen as they were off. Knowing that your crush had a wonderful friend group and a sweeter fanbase endeared you even more. 

It didn’t take long for you to start collecting their things. Hyunggu shook his head as he visited your room after you started collecting to see their albums on your shelves. “I could have gotten these to you for free. You know?” But you shook your head at him, wanting to give him at least a cent for his hard work. When you finally started dating, you had just finished collecting their albums. You happily showed him, and he just smiled and kissed the top of your head, “You’re cute, you know that?” But this time, when this comeback goes up for sale. It’ll be the first Pentagon album you’ll get to pre-order, and you’re so excited. As he drives you home, you tell him how excited you are, and he smiles and tells you he’s excited too. He doesn’t elaborate further, considering you’ve already heard his hopes for it at dinner. 

You still had a few weeks until you had to compete to start. And with every practice run on the track, your confidence grew. You spent less time with Hyunggu and more time there. It was funny how your heart wished to be with him instead. Before meeting him, all your heart ever wanted was to race. To feel the engine roar and tires burn down the track. But when you’d spot Hyunggu in the stands, you almost wished to stop the car and run to him. So instead, you raced faster to see him quicker. It surprised you how quickly he grew in your heart, but it was delightful, nonetheless. 

On the big day, you wake up with a start. Rushing around and gathering up all the things that you had prepared the night before for today. You heard a knock on your door as you were throwing on your shoes. And there he was, standing waiting with a bag of donuts and a coffee for each of you. You wrapped your arms around him, thanking him, and took your coffee from him and sipped on it. He led you to your car, and you drove up to the track. “You nervous?” “A little.” He nodded and placed his hand over yours. “I know, whatever the outcome is, you’ll do your best. And that’s all that matters.” You nodded and pulled in to see the lot filling up fast. “Are these all the racers for today?” He hums and goes, “Maybe some of them are crews?” You let that ease your mind as you parked as close as possible. You pull out your donuts and eat them before exiting the car. You lock it up, and he places his hand in yours. You squeeze it tight and walk up, drinking your coffee. “You know, I knew there would be at least twenty racers�� But I wasn’t expecting a whole army of them.” He nods and squeezes your hand, “It’ll be okay.” It takes a little while to meet up with your crew. He lets go of your hand so you can get coached and change into your suit. You look at him for as long as possible before entering race mode. 

This is going to be the hardest race of your life, while yes, there have been races that were hard to go through. But this one, you had to prove not only that you're an excellent racer. But that you are better than the other eighty-some racers out here today. And that thought alone made you nervous. You listened to each of your crew member's advice and how to navigate the turns and when best to get around others. You’d get two laps to train on this new track before they started qualifying. The track owner came up and started greeting everyone before the races began. He was polite and wished everyone well, as far as you could hear. You head to your car to see Hyunggu talking to a few of your members. He saw them all look over at you before he turned around with a big grin. “You ready?” You nodded, “As I’ll ever be.” He smiled, pulling you into his arms, “Go get ‘em, baby.” He ruffled your hair before you put your helmet on and waited for their final instructions. 

You lifted your helmet one last time and said, “I’ll do my best!” The crew nodded and wished you luck, and Hyunggu smiled, “You always do. You got this! I’ll be watching from the inside!” When it was your turn to practice, you pulled out of the pit before driving onto the track. You snaked across the pavement, getting your tires used to the new pavement. The first turn came fast, and you memorized how the straightaways met the curves as you sped around. Mentally marking all the spots your crew said were good to cut around others. And you made plans as you made it back from your first lap. You did your last lap and felt your confidence go up. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you feared. But as you remembered, some racers here had been waiting for their big chance too. And some had done this track a hundred times compared to you. It made your nerves spike back up, but you shook them off as you pitted. 

You popped your helmet off, and your race engineer came over, “What do you think?” You gulped, “It’s way more than I’m used to.” He nodded, “You are racing the Grand Prix now.” You nodded as he asked, “Did you see the spots we mentioned?” “Yeah, I made the plans on how to maneuver too.” He smiled, “Good. Now, I’ll let you talk to your lover boy over there. He was sweetly cheering you on in front of the screens. He’s a good guy.” You smile, “He’s the sweetest. Thanks.” He exits, and Hyunggu swoops in, “So, whaddaya think?” You nodded and told him all about it. He listened and asked some quick questions, and you answered with ease. He tells you, “I was watching you from the screen. You always look like you're in your element out there.” You smiled, and he kissed your forehead. He backed up as they announced the final racer had finished their practice run. “I’ll be watching.” “Like a guardian angel or private eye?” He laughed, “The former.” And you smiled at him as you nodded. 

They had you set up by your best time. So you would be racing with the 40s-60s. You placed forty-three, making you third in your set. Somehow, you would have to make it into this year's top twenty-two. When the first twenty finish their races, some of their times seem unreal. You gulp as you remind yourself that you only have to beat out fifty-eight racers to secure spot twenty-two. You pull your vehicles out to race next, and you hear the race official cheer, “Alright, I want a nice clean race. Remember your FIA rules. This is a no-contact sport. You will be disqualified if you do something intentionally. Do your best out there, and racers, start your engines!!” Your heart comes to life as you hear everyone’s engine roar as you press your engine on. Each racer starts at their own time. You stay for a moment, wanting the track to clear out a bit so you can get your head in the game. You only need to set your personal best. And once you lay your foot on that pedal, you better hit the metal. 

And so you do. You slam it down, easily make it around the curves, and even pass two people as you drive. Your engineer calls out for you to avoid hitting the guy coming up fast behind you. And you agree, but still try to go quicker. But they're slick as they slip past you and race ahead of others. You make it past two more racers on your first lap, coming out at '2:32.80.' You swear you were getting better times on your home track. You were getting to the 1:00s with no problem. You gasp into the mic, and your engineer goes, “Don’t lose your head. Just do this lap faster.” You do as you're told, getting out of your head, you speed around even faster, trying to set a personal best. And when you make it around, your time reads '1:59.343'. Every millisecond counts, and you look at your name to see it at the very bottom of the top twenty-two. You could live with that. All you needed was to stay in that spot, and you’d be okay. 

You come back and pit after pitting twice, once for refueling and once for tires. You pull off your helmet and cross all your appendages. Hoping and praying that somehow that time would be able to make it in. You jump out of your car before joining everyone in the garage and watch on, keeping your fingers crossed. The last twenty were up, each racing at their own pace. All it would take was one good time to beat you out. You knew it, and it terrified you, and as you sat there shaking, you felt someone place their hand on your knee. And you looked up from your internal plunder to see Hyunggu. “At least you can say you made it to the billboard, even if you don’t stay there.” You nod, and it calms you down for a moment. 

You watch as the racers return from their first lap and see their times start showing up on the board. Three racers placed in the top ten, officially sealing the deal for them. That meant you were out of the race. You hold back your tears as the rest of the racers finish up their laps. You don’t even notice you're crying until you are being pulled into multiple arms. One hands you a handkerchief, and you hold it to your face as you cry into it. It breaks your heart worse as you feel the others around you shake with their own tears. 

After fifteen minutes, you guys learn who’s in pole position. And the owner comes around to congratulate the winners. You successfully wipe your eyes and head out to congratulate them as well. Hyunggu stays behind you the whole time. His tears still streaking as you finish talking to others who have lost this year's race. One goes, “Better luck next time, huh?” The group of you laugh, “Yeah! We’ll get ‘em next time! And if we don’t. Well, we’ll just keep trying!” You laugh and wipe your eyes with your wet handkerchief. 

You head back to the garage and see everyone cleaning up. “Are you guys mad at me?” They shake their heads, and your manager answers for them, “No, honey, we’re proud of you for making it this far. Hell, you even made it on the chart for a moment.” Your engineer goes, “We’ll just have to keep training.” You nod, and they pat your shoulder as they exit, “We’ll see you again in a few months to start training.” You agree, and you walk back to your everyday car. Hyunggu has you sit in the passenger seat. And you finally crumble. It wasn’t your proudest moment. But you became inconsolable with tears and muttering. You could only put on that brave facade for so long. 

He turns on the radio and puts on your favorite sad songs. He tells you softly, “Come here,” after moving his seat backward to accommodate you. He pulls you over the console as you shake with tears. He holds you against him, and he can’t help but cry himself. It hurts him to see you so upset. He pulls out some napkins and wipes your cheeks, telling you kind and soft words. He rocks you in his arms as you mumble incoherent words. And he hums to them all. 

It takes a while for your cries to become sniffles. And for your tears to completely dry out, even though you wish to cry more. Hyunggu keeps you close through it all as you whisper little fears. He runs his hands through your hair, matching your worries with assurances. Reminding you about how loved you were, not only by him but by so many others. He lifts your chin and goes, “You know, I’ve never seen someone look so beautiful when they cry.” You sniffle, “Really?” He nods, “You’re beautiful all the time. It’s unsurprising to me that now would be any different.” You laugh, and he places a kiss on your nose. And then he kisses your cheek, your forehead, your chin, your neck, and everywhere he can reach before finally kissing your lips, making you giggle. He brings you out of your pool of sadness before setting you back onto your seat and buckling you in. “What do you say to wine and movies?” You smile softly, “I’d like that.”

He drives you back to your apartment and pulls out the wine he stored in your larder. He lets it aerate as you talk about all that could have gone better. And he nods but counters it before you can get too far deep into the rabbit hole. You do your best to hear him out, and he scoops two bowl fulls of ice cream before leading you to the couch. He brings the wine over and pours it into two glasses. He has you swirl it as he hands it to you. 

He puts on your favorite movie, and as your favorite scene comes on. Your tears have replenished, and you sob, which causes him to wrap you up in his arms as he quickly puts everything in your guy's hands down. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He keeps repeating to you as you watch on, and you cry, “How can they get a happy ending?” He puts his head into your collarbone, “Well, maybe this isn’t your ending?” That shocks you enough to cause a hiccup of tears, “Wh-What?” He smiles, “You’re in the middle of the movie. You have to have your Disney heartbreak before you get your Disney ending.” You blink at him, your tears slowing to stop, and he grins, “I know it doesn’t seem like it. But this isn’t the end. This is just the beginning.” He wipes your tears as he sheds a few himself. And you quickly wipe them from his eyes. He puts his forehead against yours, “I promise. You’re okay. You’ll reach the finish line and make a faster time. I’m sure of it.” You hum, and he pulls away, “Do you still wanna continue watching this movie?” You nod, and he rewinds the movie a bit.

He tucks you into bed before climbing in, “I thought you had to be at the dorms?” He shakes his head, “You’re more important. I already texted Hui that you need me more.” You blink at him, “But you can’t miss practice!” He shakes his head, “No need to worry! I’ll be doing a late practice and taking you with me.” “Oh.” He laughs, kisses your forehead, and turns off the light, “Have sweet dreams.” You whisper, “You too.” 

Your dreams remind you of your loss, and you wake up crying. You scooted over and pushed yourself into Hyunggu's arms. He opens an eye and wraps himself around you, “You okay?” You shake your head ‘no,’ and he puts his hand on your head, “Do you want to tell me about it?” You whisper, “It was about losing the race…” “Oh…” You nod, pushing your head deeper into his chest as he holds you closer. “It’s just a reflection of reality. You’ll get them next time, I promise.” You nod, and it doesn’t take long for you to drift back to sleep cuddled into him. You dream of laying next to Hyunggu in a field of daisies, with nothing to worry or wonder about, just the two of you laughing and talking about everything. 

You wake up later in the day to find him waiting for you to wake up, “Do you want to get lunch with me?” You gasp, “Is it that late?” “It’s one in the afternoon.” “Oh, that’s fine. Let’s go.” You both get dressed and during lunch, you two cheesily drink a milkshake together, “Isn’t it like... fifty percent backwash by now?” He laughs, “I guess, but I don’t mind yours.” You laugh, reach over the milkshake, and kiss him. “Ah yeah, it’s better that way.” He giggles, “I agree.” He kisses you again, and your food comes a moment later. After lunch, he takes you to practice with him. 

You cheer him and the rest of them on, and they head to the studio later, wanting to finalize a few more things on the album itself. Hyunggu sits on your lap as they all try to fit in the tiny little studio. You laugh as the boys cry about how he was never this affectionate with him, and you stick your tongue out at them. As Hyunggu turns into Kino in the recording area, Yanan and Hongseok surround you. Hongseok speaks up first, “Hey, we heard about yesterday. Are you okay?” You look down at your hands, “I suppose so? I’m definitely not as okay as I wish to be right now.” Yanan asks, “But you did your best, right?” You nod, the two smile, and he continues, “That just means your best will get better.” You smile, and Hongseok says, “You’ll get ‘em next time. And then, when you win, we’ll do our best to attend your races.” You laugh, “Okay.” Changgu comes over, “For free, right?” You laugh even harder, “Yeah, of course, you guys are practically my boyfriend’s family.” The whole group cheered, except Hyunggu, who couldn’t hear anything behind the glass. 

You listen to his stunning voice, and he finishes quickly, joining you again, “How did I sound?” You smile, “Beautiful as always.” He grins and kisses your nose, which causes Shinwon to whine, “Cooties.” You smirk and kiss Hyunggu, “What do you call that for cooties?” Shinwon cries, ‘gross’ louder, and both of you giggle at him. And as you wait, the one and only Jinho comes in, and you jokingly salute him. And he stands at attention to do so, and you both laugh, “Good to see the soldier. Is this your goodbye track?” He nods, “Yeah, the kids complained that they’ll miss me worse if I don’t.” You smile, “As a Universe, I would too.” He laughs, “Yeah,” he turns to Hui and says, “I only have a few lines to fix, then I have to go back to base.” Hui nods, and Yuto exits the studio and joins the rest of you on the cramped couch. 

The seven of you happily listen to Jinho’s voice. Hui smiles, “I never tire of hearing his voice.” And the rest of you hum in agreement, and you cry a little as the song continues to play. Hyunggu immediately wipes your eyes, “Oh, you haven’t heard it that much…” You shake your head, “I knew it would be a goodbye song, but…” They all coo at you, and as Jinho opens the door, “Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” You shake your head, “I just um… Wow, I know we get to see you a bit. But Unis, in comparison, I just, wow.” He pats your head, “You’ll be okay, kid.” You nod, and he lets the boys hug him as he leaves for base camp. “How do you guys do this with no tears?” Hui shakes his head, “I know you saw Spring Snow + Shine, so…” You sigh, “Yeah… I guess it’s a little easier now?” They nod, and Yuto says, “But we can’t help but miss him even when he’s here.” They all agree, and Jinho returns, “I forgot my hat!” And the eight of you cry, “Jinho!” And he looks at all of you, “What?” He sighs as he realizes he’ll have to do a round of hugs again. You give him one before you all give him a group hug. He mutters, “I’m going to be so late,” as he hugs back just as tightly, “Only fourteen months before we’re all back together.” You all nod and let him go this time, and he rushes to his bus.

After a few more tweaks to the songs, you head out to your cars, and when you part from Hyunggu, he asks, “You’ll be okay, right?” You nod, “If I’m not, I’ll head to the dorms.” He nods, “Okay. I’ll miss you.” You give him a soft smile as you open your car door, “I’ll miss you too. I’ll see you in two days?” He agrees and hops into the van while you head home. 

From that day forward, you take your time off seriously, working out, researching, and watching all the races to see what they did differently than you had. But that didn’t mean you weren’t spending time with the boys. Rather, that was how you spent the majority of your time. If it wasn’t night or early morning, you were following their schedules with them. It was exciting to see the finishing touches make the dance and song come to life. It went from disarray to a perfect ensemble. And you couldn’t help but clap after each practice. And before you knew it, Daisy was coming out. And you couldn’t be more excited. 

You cheered as you looked at his painting for the first time and asked him how he did it, and he happily told you his whole process. Explaining what brush stroke created, you couldn’t help but admire him as he did. “You know, you’re more beautiful than your painting.” He pouts, “What are you saying?” And you kiss his temple, “I’m saying that you made the most beautiful painting of a daisy that I’ve ever seen. But you, handsome, are more beautiful when you explain something you’ve created or are passionate about.” He blushes, “Well, I guess when you put it that way…” You shake your head, cup his face in your hands, and bring him in for a kiss. He kisses back just as feverishly. You pull away and squish his cheeks, “Yeah, you’re the finest artwork out there.” He pouts, and you giggle, “It’s even cuter when your cheeks are squished.” He gently pulls your hand away and captures you into another kiss. He pulls back to whisper, “I can’t get enough of you.” You blush, “Did anyone ever tell you that you look hot with silver hair?” He hums, “Just you so far.” You smirk as you kiss him again and pull him into your arms. 

He pulls back, “Let me put this away before we continue.” You sigh, “You’re a great killer of the mood.” He laughs, “Maybe, but I’ll bring it back up.” You raise your eyebrow, “You sure?” He smirks as he finishes putting his painting back into its spot, “Oh, I’m positive, baby.” He whisks you into his arms and kisses you deeply again. “That work?” You smirk, “I don’t know yet. I’m not entirely convinced~” He grins, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to spend all night convincing you~”

—---

While you had already heard the song a handful of times and saw how they prepared for and filmed the music video, to see the final cut and how it was compiled and edited would be different and magical. You stayed up the whole night, anticipating its release. Hyunggu stayed over at your place because it was closer to their first showcase. You had left the bed to watch it cause you didn’t want him to hear your reactions and wake up. As it drew to the last seconds and you refreshed the page, you grinned, it popped up, and clicked it. 

You smiled, seeing Kino first, and as the song faded in. You gasped. The music video made the song feel fuller, as though it were finally complete. It felt more like a tragic movie than a simple music video, and you were captivated entirely. Watching him fall back into the water as if he were drowning without his person broke your heart. And then the ending paragraph came, and you quickly scanned through it. But the line that stuck out most to you was, “Sorrow lasts a second, but what we share in our universe is eternal.” It resonated with you. It felt like your relationship with Hyunggu, how sorrow lasts a moment. While you may have lost that race a while ago, he stayed by your side. He shares all his highs and lows with you as you do with him. Because what the two of you share is forever.

You couldn’t help but hum the melody as you retired to bed. When you return, you see Hyunggu waiting for you to return. He patted your side of the bed as he told you, “I felt you leave and waited for you to come back.” You shook your head at him, “Come here, you amazing musical man.” He grinned as he scooted into your arms, “Did you like the music video?” You wrap your arms around him, “I think like is an understatement!” He laughs, “I’m glad. What was your favorite part?” You smile, “Other than your parts? Probably the ending. Especially the ending words, ‘Sorrow lasts a second, but what we share in our universe is eternal.’ Those stuck with me.” He nods, and you tell him, “Let’s get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow.” He agrees, and you shut off the lamp and settle in for the night. 

Hyunggu leaves for his rehearsals at the first stage, and you see your albums delivered. You happily opened the box and unboxed them, and to your luck, you pulled a ‘Kino’ bookmark and message card in one album. And a ‘Kino’ CD cover & photocard in the unseen version. Did you still find the Hongseok photocard and the Shinwon sticker cute? Yes, but would you be telling Hyunggu that? Not if you wanted to deal with a pouty baby. You sleeve the two cards, put the one in your binder, and replace your Universe: The Black Hall card with your newest We:th Kino card in the back of your phone. You smile and place the ‘old’ one into your Kino binder. You keep your unseen album out and head over to the showcase building. 

As you walk to the building, you spot a person selling bouquets. You grin as you pick out a beautiful one, “These have kind meanings?” The florist nods, “Yes! The pink gardenias and zinnias mixed with the red roses mean an everlasting romantic love.” You thank them as you pay for them and continue on your way. You show your badge to the security presiding outside, and the one leads you in and into the dressing room. You thank him and greet the rest of the staff on the inside. “It’s already started.” The hairstylist tells you, and you pout, “I didn’t mean to be late…” She pats your head, “It’s okay. I heard they were shipping out albums today, and seeing as you have yours, I see why you were late!” You laugh, “Yeah, I had to open them before coming!” She nods, “Did you pull a lot of Kino?” You smile, “Quite a bit! I’m just missing a sticker of his! I’ll probably have to collect a few of his preorder cards if they’re cute!” She shakes her head, “You have the real deal, though…” The makeup artist shakes his head, “If my husband were in an idol group, I’d be collecting everything of his and more!” You laugh, “He gets it perfectly!” Your conversation dies down as they start performing again. And you’re entranced as you squeeze the flowers close to you. 

When they finish the showcase and say their goodbyes, they come back to the dressing room. You greet them, and they smile, giving you small greetings, and when Hyunggu enters, you get up and present him flowers. “For you, my love.” He grins, “Thank you.” You smile and tell him, “You did well today. I’m so proud of you!” He grins and brings you in for a hug. From behind, you hear a cry of, “Where’s our hugs?!” You both laugh and part and hug them and congratulate each other for their performance. You sit back in your seat and wait for them all to collect themselves before asking, “Is there any way I can have you guys sign this lovely album?” They nod, taking turns signing it, and you thank each of them as they do. 

You come back to Hyunggu with your pen, “Mr. Kino, may I have the honors?” He laughs and teases, “But you’ve already had so many others sign your album~ Shouldn’t you only want mine?” You blink at him, “I’d only want yours on a marriage certificate.” And the other boys snicker at him, and you watch his cheeks turn red as he asks, “You want to marry me someday?” You laugh as if the answer is obvious. As he finishes signing, you tell him, “Of course I do.” He blushes, “Me too.” It was your turn to blush, and you kissed the top of his head. As you sit beside him and place the album onto your lap, Wooseok sits beside you, “Where are you going to put our signatures?” You smile, “I have this standee waiting at home on my shelf for it~” He smiles, “Oh, that’s sweet.” You nod and continue talking to Wooseok. And feel Hyunggu’s hand rub against your own, and you link your hand to his. 

When a break in the conversation happens, you sneak a smile at him. Yuto joins the conversation, and they talk about their upcoming promotions, and you listen intently and ask, “Are you guys up for an award?” They agree, “Every time we have a comeback, yeah.” You smile, “The Show, right?” They nod, and Changgu comes over, “We don’t expect anything, but we hope we gave Unis a good song.” You smile, “I think you guys did more than that.” He hums, “I guess only a universe would know~” You laugh and nod. At home, you put your album up on the shelf with pride, head to your phone, log into Star Pass, and vote continuously with the points you’ve garnered.

Time flies, and the day of ‘The Show’s’ showcase came faster than you expected. Maybe it was because of your constant voting and cheering that made time pass quicker. Or it was because you followed the same schedule as them. When they left to go somewhere, so did you, and with what little free time you had, you were voting. While, you would have voted for the beautiful song regardless if you weren’t dating a member. It felt more special because you thought you helped give him the gift he always wanted to achieve. Like how you could have gotten their albums for free, yet you still pre ordered them. You’d do anything to support him. It’s what made your guy’s relationship so special. Your endless support of each other’s dreams was unmatched. And you wouldn’t trade that devotion for the world. 

Jinho came to the pre recording of ‘The Show,’ hearing that they were up for an award. It was fun to watch them all chat and get ready to perform. The nine of them combine after some bickering. They put their hands together and cheer, “Just do it. YO!” And you grin and wish them well. While they head up to the stage, you wait in the back with Jinho. The two of you start hoping and praying that somehow they would win. “Do you think it’s possible?” He nods, “I believe in them. I know we’ve been through a lot. And we've come close before. But I’m sure this time will be different. I feel it in my bones.” You smile, “Yeah, I know I haven’t been here long with you guys or as a Universe. But I did my very best to vote and hopefully ensure one. But I think you’re right.” He smiles and nods, the two of you intently watching the eight of them perform their hearts out on stage. 

They return from the stage, and you two congratulate them on their performance. And Hyunggu rushes over, “Sweaty hug?!” You groan out, ‘No’ as he hugs you tightly. You sigh and hold him anyway, “You did well, baby.” He thanks you, and you ask, “Can I please get some Febreeze or something?” He whines but hands you some, and the staff moves around to fan and get them dry before they’re due on stage again. You hand the spray over to Jinho as he complains, “At least you only got one…” You laugh at him, “Eh, they’re happy, and that’s what matters.” He shakes his head and mumbles, “Kids…” 

They’re called up to the stage about thirty minutes later when they’re all fresh and dry to accept the award. As the last performing member exits and the door closes, you tell them, “I got flowers in my car. I’m going to run to grab them while they make announcements.” They nod, and you speed out and show your tag to each security officer. And rush to your car, pulling out a big bouquet, hoping this one would be a celebration bouquet rather than one to cheer them up. You finally make it back in time to see the announcers getting ready for them to tally up the points. 

You cross your fingers and all the appendages you can twist up in hope. You gasp as the views and preorder score pop up. Weki Meki’s and Weekly’s numbers don’t even come close to adding up to 5000. The pre-voting numbers make you slightly nervous. Weki Meki comes ahead of them by 890. But they’d have to pull off an impressive feat to beat Pentagon in the real-time voting category. You gasp as the last number and the totals come up: they won. Your eyes turn bleary as you cry, “They did it!” The two of you hug as you cheer them on from the inside. You smile as you watch them high-five and hug and listen to their speeches as tears run down your cheeks. You pat Jinho’s back, “I can’t believe they did it…” He nods, “Hyunggu told me to watch while I was away because they’d win, and they did.” You look to see his proud smile before returning your eyes to the TV screen. 

The two of you giggle as they lift Hui into the air, and their little ‘thank you’s cause you to cry more, and you give up and grab the tissue box. You wipe your eyes as you watch them. They did it, they really did it. You watch Shinwon hand Hyunggu the award and whisper, “Oh no, he’s crying…” Jinho takes his turn and pats you on the back as you cry harder. You were so thankful Shinwon and Hui were up there to hold and take care of him. You laugh through your tears as Changgu laughs at him but still helps him walk it out. They gather him and help him to the back. And you do your best to wipe your tears away and dispose of your used tissues. Jinho whispers, “I’m so proud of them.” You grin back at him as you both stand there waiting for them, “Me too.” 

When the door opens, you congratulate them all, and Hyunggu immediately wraps himself in your arms. He finally bursts into tears, and it breaks your heart into pieces. You whisper the phrases “You’ve made it,...” and “I’m so proud of you...” over and over into his ears. The boys come over to check on him every so often. And when Jinho comes over, you release him, and Jinho tells him, “You promised me, and look at you, you did it!” Which makes him start to hiccup as he finally regains his senses. 

You go over and grab the ‘large bouquet,’ which were small bouquets individually wrapped inside a large parcel as you had asked for. You hand them out, congratulating each of them on their success. In the end, you face them all except for the two in the corner and tell them, “You boys did so well. I’m so proud of you. And I know for a fact Universes have been trying to give you a win, and I’m so glad they accomplished that feat for you guys.” They thank you, and you shake your head as you tell them, “No, thank you for giving us such an amazing album.” They laugh, and you head over and hand Hyunggu and Jinho their flowers last. As you move your hand away from Hyunggu’s he grabs your pinky in his and holds it the whole time as you tell them you're proud of them. 

You leave to the couch so they can take photos, and once they change, they shout a vlive immediately, thanking all of Unis, and you couldn’t be happier as you watched both on screen and in person. The staff and you take the nine of them out on the company card and treat them to whatever they want. Hui clinks his glass and gives a huge cheer to his members, and you all clink your glasses and drink. You bring Hyunggu into you as he becomes soft and mushy about it again. And you can’t help but grin and kiss his forehead, “You’ve done wonderful, lovely. Eat the rest of your meal, okay?” He nods and does as you ask. You all have dessert and do one last hip-hip-hooray for the nine of them. 

Your training started after their promotions ended. You were on that track: rain, snow, or shine. Well, you were inside karting when it snowed or rained. But regardless, you trained as often as you could. It would get pretty tiring if you weren’t in love with the sport. That every day you woke up excited to race. But today would be different. You were acting like you were heading out to race as Hyunggu showed up. “Hey, baby, are you going out today?” You tell him you are as you tie your last shoe, “Wait for me!” You grin as you watch your boyfriend scuttle around and gather his things to head out with you. You were planning a little karting date for the past week, making sure no other drivers would be there and it would be clear outside on your date. 

You hold out your car keys to him, “Wanna drive?” He raises an eyebrow at you as you do and grins, “I wanna be the passenger this time.” He laughs and takes the car keys, “It’s not often you get to chauffeur a world-class driver.” You giggle and kiss his nose before heading to the car and opening the door, “My prince?” He grins and pops open your door as you get to the passenger's side, “Your ride awaits, your highness.” You laugh and get in, and he reaches over and clicks your seatbelt on around you. You grin as you thank him, and he pulls on his belt and takes you to the practice track. 

You both get out, and you hold back your grin as you ask, “Do you want to try karting with me?” He furrowed his eyebrows, “I can?” You laugh, “Yeah, the smaller building houses karting while the larger is for Formula cars.” He asks, “Really? You’d want to do that with me?” You laugh, “Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugs, “I thought it was only big leagues allowed here.” You shake your head, “Well, when others are here, yeah.” He raises his eyebrow, “Are we gonna get caught?” You shake your head, “They already know.” He gasps, “You planned this?” You nod, “Yeah… For about a month now.” He smiles, and you continue, “Also, it’s not illegal. Just would be a little dangerous since you’re new, and the people here would run circles around you.” He pouts at that, and you shake your head, “I just mean they’re trained professionals.” He agrees, and you capture his hand in yours, “And lastly, I think it’d be fun to show you the ropes and everything I do. Like how you’ve shown me.” He smiles, bringing your hands up, and places a kiss on top of yours, “I’d love that.”

You get him outfitted into a helmet and mic, “This part kind of reminds me of my career.” You nod, “Well, if we wish to talk on the track, it’s a lot easier this way. And I’m not allowing you to race without safety.” He raises an eyebrow, “Have you raced without safety?” You shrug, “By myself, yes, once or twice when I’ve forgotten. With others, no, I don’t want a head injury.” His eyes go wide at that, “You mean?” You nod, “Yeah, it’s possible karting, but we won’t be doing anything risky, so no need for concerns.” He lets out a sigh of relief, “Good.” You ruffle his hair before he puts on his helmet. You ask, “Alright, lift your visor for me.” You grin, “I just wanted to see your pretty eyes.” He smiles and lifts yours, “Yours are pretty, too.” You blush and shake your head, “Okay, I’ll explain the rules and how to drive it. But follow me the first time around the track, and I promise you’ll get the hang of it from there.” 

You explain it all to him before shutting your visors and showing him around the track, and he eventually gets the hang of the gas and brake. “You got it?” He holds his hand out and shakes it as if to say, ‘So-so’. You nod, “Wanna drive beside me?” He nods, “I’d like that.” You take him around the track with you. You whisper, “It’s kind of fun to be beside you like this.” And you hear him hum before he says, “I see why you love it. When I’m beside you, it’s a lot more fun.” You smile, “Karting with you is fun.” You go through the track together, and he has a better time handling it. You ask him if he wishes to race against you this time, and he agrees. 

You two race around for a few rounds, with you coming in first with ease. This track has become etched in the back of your mind with how many times you’ve raced it. You speed around and giggle as you hear his laughter as he’s managed to get in front of you. You smile to yourself. Doing this for fun always reminds you of your zest for it. You cackled as you bumped into him again, “Hey! No excessive bumping! This isn’t bumper cars!!” You make an ‘L’ with your fingers at him and jeer, “Loooooseerrr!” And zoom past him and cross the finish line again. You wait for him to return and see the pouty baby, and you giggle and pull him into a small hug, “Aw, come here, you’re my favorite loser.” He whines at that as you pull away, “You have years on me in this!” You giggle and make a cute gesture, “I know, just like how you have years on me as a singer.” Seeing his window of opportunity, he hits the gas, “Catch me if you can~” You shake your head and let him have his five-second head start. You decide on taking it slow behind him, maybe a turn away from where he is. And he gets this determined look on his face as you grow nearer. 

You grin, realizing he’s feeling the need for speed, and start to tail him, making him go around faster. He starts snaking so you can’t go around him, and you laugh. “You know that’s an illegal move~” “You didn’t say so until after we started, so it’s not a rule~” You shrug, “Fair enough.” You rev your kart behind him every time he slows down, which has him snake around faster. You slow down around a turn to see how quickly he’d make it to the finish line. And you grin as you see him speed to the checkered line. You speed up behind him, “You beat me!” You cheer, and he chuckles, “I did!” You ask, “You know what winners get?” “A kiss?” You nod, pull up next to him, and lift your helmet off to see he’s patiently waiting. You shake your head at him before pulling him in for a kiss. “One more round?” He nods, and you smile, “Let’s race together?” He nods, and you pull on your helmet again, and you make little vrooming noises in the mic, which causes him to laugh as the two of you take off again.

After finishing your last race together, you put your carts, helmets, and padding in their rightful spots. You head over to the lights and turn them off one by one. You whine, “I hate this part.” He laughs, “I can see why. It gives backroom vibes.” You groan, “Yeah, exactly.” You both rush to the big door, “Alright, time to lock up.” You turn off the last light and get out into the night air. You lock the door, and he wraps his arm around you, “This was a pleasant surprise.” 

You smile and wrap your arm around his waist, “I was hoping you’d like it.” He nods, “It’s just as fun as watching you race.” “You think so?” “Seeing you have fun and live your dream is thrilling to me. But karting with you today gave me a taste of the dream you follow. And it’s wonderful.” You smile, and the two of you walk back to your car. And you drive you both back home, “Do your legs feel like jelly?” He laughs, “Very much so. Is this normal?” You grin, “Yeah, but you get used to it, especially because it doesn’t compare to the speeds of the cars I usually drive.” He nods, “Makes sense.” 

—--

You continue your practice racing, but every once in a while, when all the drivers have left. And Hyunggu was the only one in the stands. After practicing, you’d head and do a few rounds of karting together. The joy of seeing him get his first ‘real’ win felt unbelievable, and you couldn’t believe he had beaten you. You could have chalked it up as being distracted because of his charms. But really, he had just learned your tricks from watching you every day. “I’m proud of you, baby!” He boasted about it on his social media, and you took photos of him being so triumphant. You couldn’t help but feel proud as you had taught him everything. 

He asked while you were going home that day, “You know how you let me kart with you? Maybe someday I can get your vocals on an album?” You blushed, “You’d like my vocals on an album? But you’ve heard my voice…” He shakes his head, “I love your voice. I like hearing it when you sing softly along to our songs or the radio. It’s pleasant. Of course, you never have to if you don’t want to. But if you’d like and the opportunity comes, I’d love to have your voice on one of my tracks.” You nod and tell him, “Maybe someday… I’m glad we can share our careers with each other.” He smiles and places his hand over yours, “Me too.”

—---

It felt unbelievable to believe you were back here on this track again. Hyunggu holds your hand the whole way up to the garage. You had practiced the entire night, only going home when Hyunggu phoned you through the mic to go home. You were so nervous that you barely slept. You didn’t want a repeat of last year and worried throughout the night, even with him beside you. He pats the top of your hand, “You got this baby. I know you do, you’ve trained harder, and you know this track this time.” You gulp, “Are you sure?” He stops you halfway to your team and puts his hands on your shoulders, “I’ve never been more sure of something or someone than I am of you right now.” You lock eyes with him, “You mean it?” He nods, “With every fiber of my being.” You wrap your arms around him, “Thank you. I’m gonna win today.” He chuckles, “I know you will, baby.” 

He was right. You knew the track, and you were more prepared. You spent your first practice run jogging your memory of each curve. And you felt more confident with each one you took. When your second practice run began, you did as if you were qualifying. As you return to the finish line, you see your clock, the time reads back ‘1:47.03’, and you hear your race engineer go, “You can shave that down. I know you can.” And you agree as you pull back into the pit. “You ready to show them who you are out there?” You nod at your race engineer, and he smiles, “I believe in you.” You smile, and Hyunggu comes over with a big grin, “You did so well, baby!!” You tease, “Maybe it’s because I had to finally challenge myself in karting~.” He laughs, “I don’t think so. But I love the thought, baby. Now, go out there and knock ‘em dead. Or drive faster than them, whatever works.” You laugh at that and blow him a kiss before he heads off. 

Unlike the last race, you were in spot twenty-five to start, an incredible placement as opposed to last time. When they call for the twenties to thirties to race, you strap in and wait for the signal. You exit the pit and stop at the line momentarily before barreling down the track. You took the turns more sharply but just as safely as your coach called out the shots. You listened to them as if they were second nature, “Coming up on your left!” You nod and see the car catching up to you, and you shake your head, “Do I have leverage up on the right?” “Yeah! Gun it!” You gas and spin the wheel quickly to make a faster turn, leaving the competitor in the dust. You let out a huff and make it back to the line. The numbers read back to you, “1:38.34”. You scoff, catch your breath, and see your competitor come up beside you and quickly start their second race. You hold back for another moment, wanting a clear track for at least two curves. 

“Ready, (Y/n)?” “As I’ll ever be.” And with that, you punch it, going faster than you last had, wanting desperately to make it and stay on the board. Unlike last year, there would only be twenty spots, and you were determined to be one of the twenty. You gulp as you reach the finish line and speed up even faster. “Come on, come on, come on!” You cry as you cross the finish line, and the numbers flash, “1:30.985.” You gasp. You shaved seventeen whole seconds off of your original time, and you can’t help but cheer as you pit. “I think I may have it this time!” The crew all cheers as you get out and wait. Hyunggu wraps you up in a hug and excitedly says, “Let’s watch!” You nod and watch the screens as everyone whizzes by. You hear, “Was it easier this time?” One of the members who changes tires asks. And you nod, “Yeah, knowing the track helped.” They pat your back, “I believe we’ll make it this time.” You smile and start silently praying that you will. 

You get booted from the top ten and let it roll off your shoulders. One day, you’d make it into the top ten with ease. When the last racer finishes their laps, you gasp, “I’m still in…” It stuns you as you look at the screen in shock and hear everyone erupt into cheers, “You’re in spot sixteen!” They pick you up and lift you into the air, “We’re going to the Grand Prix!!” You can’t believe your ears, your biggest dream since you were little, and you were about to live it. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you were put back onto the cement again. You hear cheers of ‘We’re so proud of you!’ ‘We made it!’ and ‘That’s our racer!’ but all you see is Hyunggu. He picks you up and spins, “You’re going to be a Grand Prix racer! I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” You wipe the tears from your eyes as you thank him. 

You head and thank the other racers who didn’t make it to the Grand Prix for racing with you today. And some of them congratulate you because they met you last year. You head out to the racer’s circle, “You twenty are going to be racing the next twelve races together.” You gulp, and the track owner asks, “Is anyone new to the Grand Prix?” Although he wasn't trying to single anyone out. Alas, he does. And you wave your hand, “Our only newcomer this year! Well, you already know what it takes to get here. But please get to know your fellow racers and good luck!” You smile and get accustomed to the other nineteen. And they welcome you in, and the one goes, “I can’t guarantee we’ll be friendly out there to you. We’re all trying to win, after all. But we do fight fair.” “Welcome to the big leagues, kid!” You laugh, “Thanks, but isn’t that what they say in baseball?” He nods, “Yeah, but we say it here too.” You smile, get to know the racers, pose for the camera, and introduce your car. 

And go about the mini-press meetings. One of the racers, Carlos, says, “This will get easier by the second race.” You sigh, “I hope so, 'cause I have a lot of nerves right now.” He pats your back, “I promise, their questions will pertain more to your car and racing capabilities the longer the races go on.” You nod, “That’ll be easier.” He nods, heads to his car, and chats more to the presses. You find your way back, “I don’t know how you deal with that constantly.” Hyunggu looks over to the crowd of mics and cameras, “We’re trained on how to talk to them early on. So, it’s not as hard.” You laugh, “I wish. I just did my best out there.” He smiles, “That’s all anyone can ask.” He kisses your forehead, “So, do you want to go out and celebrate?” You grin, “I’d love to.” 

The crew was already out celebrating, seeing as they had more to prepare for the upcoming twelve races than you did. “When will you be back?” You look at the chart they sent you, “After March fifteenth... And to officially stay at home? Not until November.” He nods, “We’ll be away from each other for a long time…” You sigh, “But I’ll always be a phone call away, I promise.” He nods, “I’m going to miss your first race, aren’t I?…” You nod solemnly, “I know it’s okay… I think I’ll miss your performances, new album…” He sighs, “Yeah, that’s going to be hard.” You grasp his hands in yours, “It’s going to be okay. You can watch me on your TV race, and I can watch you on mine in the hotel perform your heart out.” He gives you a small smile, “I’ll try to make it to one of your races.” You squeeze his hands, “I’ll try to make it to one of your performances.” 

As you pack your last things to head out onto the plane, Hyunggu comes over, “I’m going to miss you.” You sigh, “I’m going to miss you too.” He nods and helps you sort the last few of your things. You zip up your suitcase as you sit in front of him. He grabs your hands, “What’s wrong?” You sigh, “We won’t be able to be there for each other this time around.” He nods, “I’ve been thinking about that too…” You nod, “I know we have our staff and friends, but I don’t know… It’s just not going to be the same.” He nods, “You’re a constant presence in my life. It’ll be weird to be apart.” You interlock your hands, “I know we’ll be fine on our own. And that being apart is good for a healthy relationship to flourish. But I really wish to be by your side.” He squeezes your hands in his, “I wish we could stay like this for longer.” You sigh and look at his candy-floss pink hair, “I can’t believe you’re pink, and I’ll get to miss a majority of it…” He laughs, “I’ll be missing you in that uniform.” “Kang…” He smirks, “How long before you need to be at the airport?” You look at the clock before smirking, “A few hours.” And he captures your lips in his, “Let’s make the most of it, shall we?” 

—---

You arrived in Melbourne and settled in for the next two days, seeing sights and getting used to the climate. As you were on your way to Australia, Pentagon dropped their new album, and you listened to it. You loved the whole album and told Hyunggu happily about each track when you landed. When the race drew closer, they allowed all the racers to start practicing on the track. The songs were so catchy that even with the roar of your engine, you could hear them as you whipped around curves and learned the road. It was good enough fuel to keep you racing. 

Off the track, you spend the majority of your time watching their music videos, behind-the-scenes, and stages. Hyunggu texts you when he finishes his last interview of the day, and you call him up, “I miss you so much.” And he sighs out the same, “I feel like a piece of me is missing without you here.” You agree, and he asks you about your day, and you tell him about how the track feels and how fast your times were. He was proud of you for having good times, and you asked him to tell you about his day. And his day started at three in the morning and didn’t finish until six in the afternoon. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He hums, “No, I’d rather talk to you.” You sigh, “I’d rather talk to you too… But baby, your sleep means more to me than that. So, go to bed, it’s okay. I’ll be here for you to talk to tomorrow.” You can almost hear the pout in his voice as he says, “Okay…” You smile, and you tell each other your goodbyes. 

You slept restlessly, tossing and turning, knowing that tomorrow was the big day. And not having Hyunggu to calm you down drove you insane. Even the teddy bear he gave you wasn’t enough. You were so thankful for the morning to come as you got ready. Hyunggu called you up, “Today’s the big day!” You gulped, “Yeah…” He reapproaches that subject, “You nervous for today?” You softly agree, and he says, “I know you have numerous reasons to be nervous, but I’ll cheer you on no matter what happens. I know you’re an amazing racer. You just need to show them.” You smile, “You think so?” He chuckles, “Think? I know you are, dear. Do you want me to talk to you all the way there?” “Yeah, if you could… It would take my mind off of it. Tell me about everything.” He fills you in on everything from the stage lights to the eating habits of Hui’s dog, Happy. It keeps you calm as you're driven to the event. 

“And then, because Wooseok was messing with Changgu, Yanan moved his chair slightly to the left!” “What?” “Yeah! And when he went to sit on the chair and slipped right out of it 'cause it wasn’t where it was!” You laugh, “You boys certainly get up to madness.” He laughs, “Oh, I have more stories if you have time!” You smile, “I have time for one more.” You leave the car and head to the garage where the rest of your crew is, politely greeting them while listening to Hyunggu tell you about everything happening in Dorm A. He finishes as you sit down, “I’m at the garage… I’ve loved listening to you…” “But you have to go?” You hum, and he says, “I love you, baby. Go get ‘em!” You smile, “I love you too, and I’ll do my best.” “That’s all I ask.” You say your last goodbyes and hang up. 

You get suited up and get good coaching from your crew members. “You’ll do just fine. Just listen to the car and your engineer, okay?” You agree, and they pat you on the back before helping you into the car. They have you do two practice rounds before they start qualifying. You make it through the first round and make spot eighteen. It made your nerves itch. It was close to the end. But your team still cheered you as you returned, “It’ll be okay. It’s your first race in the Grand Prix. Hell, it’s our first race, too. So just do your best.” You agree, wait for them to call the racers, and do your best to calm your nerves. You calm down after qualifying and get into spot eighteen. When the race portion starts, the first thirty minutes fly by. You did everything to stay in your original position, but once you lost that position, you quickly lost the nineteenth.

They ate you alive out there… They were kind people off the track, but they weren’t kidding when they said they weren’t going easy on you just because you were new. You did everything right. Your car was in mint condition, and you sped around the curves, even with those two practice rounds. But it wasn’t enough. You came up short. For the longest time, you couldn't even see number nineteen, let alone its bumper. But at the end of the last five laps, you could see their bumper. You couldn't get around them even if you wanted to, and your engineer calmed you down from above, “You’re doing as good as you can. This is all new to you. It’s okay to come in last. Someone always has to. This time it’s you. Maybe next time it won’t be.” You agreed, and in the end, you ended up beside the car in front of you. At least you accomplished that small feat. You could only hope to grow better. 

------

You call Shinwon up, knowing he’d be able to keep the secret of you being able to make it to one of their performances. “We’ll be performing on M Countdown on the first. You’d have to be in the back by 3 a.m. That’s when we’re going to be arriving.” You agree wholeheartedly, and he goes, “We watched you race, by the way.” “We?” He chuckles, “All of us did. We were cheering you on the whole time.” You don’t let any tears spill as you thank him, “You did well for your first race in the Grand Prix.” You sigh, “Last place?” He says, “Yeah, it means you got nowhere to go but up from here.” Your tears leave your eyes as you whisper, “I guess you’re right…” 

“You want me to transfer you to Hyunggu?” You mumble a ‘yes’, and he shuffles on the other end as you do your best not to cry, “Console your lover, man.” You let out a light laugh as Hyunggu’s voice rings through, “You okay?” You shake your head and remember he can’t see it as you whisper, ‘No’. “Oh, baby, why are you crying?” You whisper, “Shinwon has some kind words…” He laughs, “Yeah, he can probably make a building cry with his kindness.” You sigh out a laugh and say, “Yeah…” “What did he say?” “That I got nowhere to go but up.” He smiles, “Well, he’s right. We watched you race, and you were driving well, but the other racers had you because you were new to their racing styles. All you have to do is adjust, and I promise you, you’ll have it.” 

He was right, and at your next race in Sakhir, Bahrain, you proved you were a racer worthy of being up in the ranks of Formula One. You made it to seventeenth place. It took everything out of you. But you were so proud of yourself, and as you sat in a diner with the rest of the crew, Hyunggu congratulated you. And you heard the rest of the group in the background cheering for you, and it warmed your heart. Your handling was well. And you were getting used to the races, the racers, and everything. It’s exactly how you hoped. Maybe you weren’t winning, but you were driving in the Grand Prix, and that’s what you wanted. 

The next morning, as you were finishing packing to head home for at least a few days, your manager reminded you, “Remember, by the tenth, you have to be ready to fly out to Shanghai.” You nod and thank them, “I’ll see you then.” They laugh, “You’ll see me on the eleventh. I’ll be in Shenzhen until then.” You smile, “That sounds wonderful, enjoy your time!” “You too!” You head to the airport, excited to go home. You sleep the whole way there on the plane and take a cab home, not wanting Hyunggu to know you were back yet. You pick up your packages from the mailbox and cheer, “My albums!” And quickly rush up the stairs before unpacking some souvenirs and other little items you got along the way. 

You spend the next day resting and getting used to your apartment again. But when it strikes 2 a.m., you text Shinwon asking if he can ask their manager to sneak you in. And he texts back, “He said yeah.” And a half hour later, you were in the car, “So how’s your racing life?” You smile, “It’s getting better.” “I watched your recent race on and off again. You did well.” “Thank you.” “Where’s your closest race?” “Suzuka, Japan, on the seventeenth of September.” “Oh, that’s a long time from now.” You nod solemnly, “But my next race is Shanghai!” “Oh, where Yanan is from!” You smile, “Yeah!” He pulls into the parking space, “You got your badges, right?” You nod, “They’ll let you in with no problem. I already informed them.” “Thank you for everything.” He smiles, and you get out and wave goodbye. 

You walk in, scan your security tag, and talk to a few people as they lead you to Pentagon’s dressing room. You thank them and see a few of the stylists, “I didn’t expect to see you so soon!” You laugh, “Surprise!” She laughs, “Here to surprise Kino and them?” You nod, “Well, all except Shinwon, he helped me organize this.” She smiles, “It’ll be a lovely surprise then.” You smile and order breakfast for everyone while you wait. It arrived fast, considering it was from the inner cafe, which was currently bustling with orders. 

You wait for the door to open and wave to the incoming boys. When Hyungggu comes in, you open your arms wide for him, “(Y/n)?! What are you doing here?” Hyunggu rushes into your open arms. You giggle as you wrap your arms around him. “I wanted to surprise you.” He nuzzles his face into your collarbone, “Best surprise ever.” You smile as you reach up and run your hands through his pink hair. “I’m glad you like it.” You eventually pull away and thank Shinwon, who shrugs and says, “It’s the least I could do.” You smile and greet the rest of them. Ensuring they all have something on their stomach before getting their makeup applied. 

“You know the best thing about having at least seven other members…” “Hmm?” He smiles, “I get more time to spend with you while I wait for an empty spot.” You laugh, “It is nice.” He leans his cheek against your arm, and you pull out your phone to watch videos together while you wait. He kisses you as he’s called to put his makeup on, and you put your phone down to watch them pretty him up. You make faces at him as they put lipstick on him, and he scrunches his nose up, trying his best not to laugh. And you grin as you make one last face, and he lets out a slight giggle as they move the brush away from him.

Yanan comes over with a smile, “I heard your next race is supposed to be in Shanghai…” You smile, “Yeah, I’m very excited about it. Do you have any suggestions of where I should visit there?” He lights up as he tells you about his hometown. You hang onto his every word and make mental notes on places to visit. As they’re called up to the stage, you tell him, “Feel free to text me more if we don’t get time to talk after this!” And he grins, “I will!” While they’re still in your head, you write some of the things he talked about. While you wished you could spend it with them, you knew the reality. And while you and Hyunggu had made it public to the media that you were together not too long ago. It still wouldn’t make the timing any better. 

You cheered them on as you watched them perform, your heart enamored by the song, seeing it more in person than before. As you wait for them to return, you ask if they have anything after this. The staff shakes their heads, “Probably resting. They have to do this tomorrow, too.” You nod, and in come the boys. You grin as you tell them they all did a fantastic job as they wait around for the call-back to do the actual recording. 

You hand Hyunggu tissues as he talks to you about your career. You shrug and tell him since you’re still starting out in the big leagues, it’s a lot to wrap your head around. And he pats your knee, “But you’ve gotten better. You just placed 17th not too long ago. That’s better than before!” You smile, “Yeah, I hope by the last race of the season, I'll be able to pull off a win.” He nods, “I know you’ll work hard until you do.” You smile, and he kisses your cheek and giggles. “You got a glossy mark on you now.” You flip your phone camera to see that he’s right. “You have to reapply your lipstick and gloss now…” He laughs, “Already had to.” You shake your head and wear it happily as he bounds into the chair. 

When he finishes the live recording and changes into his regular clothes, you ask if he can go home with you. And the others agree you have the managers escort you back, dropping you two off first before they head to drop the rest of them off. Changgu asks as you get out, “When will we see you next?” You sadly smile, “As soon as I can make time, but the next few races are a little close for a break…” He nods, “We’ll take care of Hyunggu until you return.” You put your pinky out to him and ask, “Promise?” He smiles and wraps his pinky around yours as he promises to take care of Hyunggu. “You’ll take care of yourself out on that track too.” You nod as you promise to do that, too. And with that, the door closes, and the two of you head up to your apartment. 

You ask on your way up, “Do you want to open albums with me?” He asks, “Which artist’s album did you buy?” “Yours.” He blushes, “Why?” You roll your eyes and sarcastically say, “Well, I want to be able to giggle over Yuto’s handsome pictures to someone…” Which immediately causes him to pout, and you push his arm, “I can’t wait to see how handsome you look, and I can’t wait to kiss you every time I find you handsome.” He grins and squeezes your hand as you open your apartment door, “I like that idea.” And you do just that, hiding the inclusions from yourself as you look through the photobook. You kiss his cheek every time you find him good-looking, “I never understood the appeal of someone blowing bubblegum bubbles until today!” He hides his face in your shoulder, “Baby…” You shrug, “It’s the truth! Remind me to get some bubblegum for you.” He groans, and you smirk, “Huh? Are we getting shy now?” He whines even more, and you pull him to face you, “You’re so beautiful, my love.”

When you pull away, he goes, “Thanks for the reminder…” You smile, and he wraps his arm around your waist as you pull out the photocards. Not one Kino. Which causes you to pout, “I thought you were supposed to make all my album pulls…” And he goes, “Maybe you pulled me as the poster?” And you nod as you pull away the cover to reveal Hui. “My favorite version, and I can’t pull my man… What luck…” He runs his fingers through your hair, “But you have the real deal.” You glance at him and mumble, “I guess,” which causes him to pout right back at you. You put the album aside before opening the sporty version and have better luck. 

And you do! You pull his poster, and that’s it… You pout over at him again, and he kisses your pout away. Although you happily keep the ones you’ve pulled, at least until you can trade for Kino’s. With the mild version, you open it up full of hope. You groan, “You look good in suspenders…” He laughs, “I guess?” You nod, “You do.” He smiles, and you look to see your CD case, says Wooseok. And that your cover is Yeo One, but then you squeal as you check the photocards to see you pulled not one but two Kino’s! “I was hoping I’d pull one of your cards!” He grins, and you kiss him, “Now I got something new to put in my phone case!” He smiles as you switch out your we:th card for your favorite mild card. You give him one last kiss, “Thanks for packing this one at least!” He shrugs, “I didn’t, but I was hopeful you’d pull a card of me.” You smile, and he asks for you to take a photo with him as you start putting your albums back together. 

“Why?” He smiles, “I want a new lock screen.” You laugh and pose with him cutely, and he kisses your cheek as you smile, and he goes, “Perfect.” He quickly sets it as his new photo, and you get up and put your albums and photocards away. “What do you say to some takeout?” You grin, “Good enough for me!”

—---

After a few days of relaxing, you were on the next flight out, but Hyunggu saw you off before you went. The media after you both like flies, but you didn’t bat an eye as you gave him a tight hug before checking into your flight. You saw as many sites as Yanan had listed and told him what you thought of each place. And he grinned as you sent him pictures, “It’s practically like being home.” You smiled and sent him some more before you were behind the wheel. You called Hyunggu on the way and talked to him about China and how lovely it was before strapping in and getting ready for the race. “You’ll only get better with time, I promise, my love.” You thank him for his advice as you hang up and hand your phone over. It was different not to have him walk you up and console you in person. But you supposed it would have to do. You put on your helmet and flicked it on before beginning the race and placing 18th, one placement lower than last. You sighed heavily as you got back to the pits, ashamed. They cheered you up, “You’re going to have good days and bad. Let’s pray that the next ones will be better.” And so you do. Even if it seemed silly, it still gave you some hope. 

It took several races to break the mold of being in the teens. At your race in Spielberg, Austria, you cried as you crossed the finish line. Your whole crew started cheering for you over the mic, happily congratulating you as you did. You made 10th place for the first time, and you all celebrated with a good drink. And from there, you only did better, gaining 8th at the next. And while a minor accident had led to you being in 4th at the next race, you still couldn’t believe your eyes. You did worse in Italy with 6th place, but considering it was in the tens, you couldn’t be more proud. You called Hyunggu after every race, and he celebrated every single one of your victories, and you encouraged him to continue working hard. While you couldn’t be together physically, knowing you always had each other’s support made the difference.

The next race is like a whirlwind, in the closest race you’ve raced the whole season. You placed third in Singapore. You get cheers from all of your crew. You get to be in the winner’s circle for the first time. And you laugh as you watch your fellow racer get sprayed with champagne, and you hope one day you'll experience that as you head off the pitch. You’re on the line with all of Pentagon as they cheer you on. Yuto goes, “Jinho and Hui wish for you to know they’re very proud of you too!” You grin and thank them as Hyunggu takes over and tells you how much he loves you. And how he thinks you're the 'coolest racer in the world.' And how he can’t wait to see how you’ll place in the next race if this is anything to go by. You grin as you thank him and head home, smiling the whole way to bed. 

—---

It’s seven a.m. in Suzuka, and the birds are chirping. It looks as beautiful as it sounds out there. You wonder if today will be your lucky day as you wipe your eyes. Maybe a peaceful morning would be the perfect way to spend it. After all, you have three hours before you need to be at the track. That’s until you get the call from your race engineer, “Hey, can you be out here early?” You sigh, the idea of a relaxing morning ripped away from you immediately, “Can I get a shower in before then?” He agrees, “Yeah, of course, but before nine.” You agree, groaning as you get off the call and fight your way out of the comfy bed. After a vicious battle with the blankets, you get prepared for the day. 

You walk into the pit and see your race engineer who stops you, “I’m glad you could make it this early.” You nod, “What’s it all about?” He looks down at his shoes before looking at you, “Maybe you should head into the garage…” His face doesn’t give any clues, so you assume the worst. Your car’s engine has exploded, and they don’t have a spare, which sounds outlandish to your rational mind, but it’s the only idea popping up. So, when you walk through the side entrance to see it’s pitch black, you don't know what to think. You squint as you search for the light switch, “Why the hell did he turn it off…” You flick it on and see your boyfriend and friends all happily sitting there and waiting for you. You break out into sobs, and they immediately wrap you up into a group hug.

Hyunggu asks softly, “Oh, why are you crying?” Just for him to hiccup and cry, too, which causes the softer-hearted members to cry as they hold you closer. Well, the best that they can since it is seven people surrounding one. When they break away, your tears slowly stop. And they ruffle your hair. “I’m so happy to see you all…” They all say their various agreements, and Hyunggu kisses your forehead and wipes your cheeks of any remnants of tears. “How the hell did you guys get a day off…” Hongseok answers for them all, “We’re quite persuasive, and also, Hyunggu wouldn’t stop crying to them about you.” He pouts, “I was not crying.” The others laugh, “Yeah, sure... that’s not what you were doing.” You look into his eyes and ask, “You did this for me?” He nods, “Of course I would.” You push your head into his chest as you shake with more tears. 

When you finally collect yourself, they ask you to teach them about the car. And so you do. You have them get in and try sitting in it. They do their best to get a feel for it, and you laugh as they tell you it’s uncomfortable to sit in, and you shrug, “It’s made for me. It’s not supposed to be comfortable for anyone else.” They nod, and you show them some background things and how it’s supposed to work. Your manager comes in, “Oh when he said there were a lot of people back here, I didn’t think he meant your friends.” You all laugh, and they say, “We got thirty minutes until qualifying.” You pout, “Really?” They nod, “Sorry.” You sigh, “Well, where are you guys sitting?” They tell you about the VIP rooms they secured, and you go, “You could have just asked me?” Hyunggu shakes his head, “Wouldn’t have been quite a surprise then?” You laugh, “I guess not.” The others wish you well, and before Hyunggu leaves, he kisses you before saying, “Do your best out there?” “Always. I love you.” He grins, “I love you more.” He races off to follow the others, and you get suited up for the race with ten minutes to spare. 

As qualifying finishes, you place eleventh, which is a neutral position. Not giving you any indications of how it’ll end, but you don’t mind. You have your tires changed out for mediums as you return, “Yeah, I think for this track, it’d be better to get soft last.” You converse with them and see a colorful crew sitting in the back. You remember who’s there, and without a second thought, you fly out of the car, so excited to see them all again. “It’s wild to see you guys. I just can’t believe my eyes.” They laugh and sweep you up into another hug as you all converse. 

You spend your time with them until you both have to leave. You get into race mode while they get into cheerleader mode. You nearly cry as they give you a “Just do it. Yo!” send-off. You settle back into your car, and if you were Lighting Mcqueen, you’d be giving yourself the ‘I am speed’ chant as you place your helmet on again. Rather, you’re humming the lyrics to ‘Just Do It Yo’ as you strap yourself into the seat. You get taps onto your helmet as well wishes.

Everyone brings themselves onto the track in their positions, and you sigh as you wait for them to signal you to start your engine again. You hear your engineer’s gentle encouragement as you look around at the other cars. You look up as best you can to see the stand your favorite people are in, and while you can’t see them, you can only imagine them fogging up the windows and watching. Maybe even eating the food from the stands below. You start your engine on cue and hear over your mic, “On your mark, get set, go!” 

You waste no time snaking side to side, getting your tires into the feel of the road. It isn’t until you hit that first curve that everyone starts zooming, and you’re right alongside them. In no time, you make tenth, and you can’t help but pat yourself on the back. Each lap draws you closer to the next car you speed around and eventually end up in ninth. You don’t hold back, not that you did before, but now, you have a reason to win. Maybe it was an inner show-off thing. But with your friends and boyfriend watching. You couldn’t help wanting to win even more. “And when you make this turn, you’ll be able to secure spot seven.” You agree as you gas it even further and speed around the curve. If this were an average car, you’d flip over as both accelerations changed, but you don’t let it phase you as you spin around the curve and into seventh place.

You let out a sigh of relief. Still, another thirty laps to go, and you were making good timing. You can’t see the cars in front of you just yet, so you do your best to start catching up to them. You close the gap with twenty-three more laps to go. Behind sixth, with seventh place far behind you now. You listen to your engineer make moves for you and execute them without problems as you slip in between the sixth and the red-and-white striped line. It was a little daring, but if your engineer cleared it. It was fine. After that, you take your pit stop before returning to the track. Thankfully, in front of seventh.

You watch as the fifth is doing everything to keep in that spot as they cut the corners tighter and do their best to stay right in front of you. You glare, not seeing an opening. That opening doesn’t come for another four laps. And when your engineer sees it, he has you seize it. You have no thoughts except winning on your brain as you start gaining on fourth. It takes a whole lap to catch up with them, but when you do, you waste no time as you cross the line again and take the lead in front of them. The first three were close to encountering the twentieth car as you came up behind them. 

You gulp, wanting this to go easier, and eventually, the car in the twentieth position manages to escape their grip. Making one last obstacle you’d have to encounter to become first place. It takes forever to sneak in between the third and second, and even then, she’s right on your tail. You finally lose her on lap forty, but you still have to beat second to be head-to-head with first. This would be your first-place win if only you can manage it. 

Your engineer encourages you with every step before he goes, “Hey, (Y/n), you’re going to want to hear this, don’t worry if needed, I’ll transfer the lines back, but listen to this-” And you hear the line transfer over and hear Hyunggu cheering, “Look at them go! That’s my lover, that’s my everything!!” If your heart was a little bit more fragile, you’d cry. You make moves to pass the car in front of you as he cheers, “Yeah, cut around in front of them! You got this! I believe in you!” You grin and whisper, “I’ll see you at the finish line.” He gasps, “You could hear me?” You laugh and tell him you can, and he says, “I’ll see you when you win, baby.” And with that, it transfers to your race engineer, “One more car, and you’re in the lead!” You smirk, “I know. We’re going to win today.” You hear him chuckle, “Yes we are, now gas it, and give ‘em hell, kid.” And you follow along like it’s second nature, gaining on the Ferrari-Mercedes. 

They take a tight right turn, cutting you off from speeding below him. You scoff as you follow behind them, looking for an opening, willing to take any risk if it means the big reward. And with it drawing down to the last three laps, you had to make your move, and now… You gulp as you hear, “Now!” Without a second thought, you nail it, pushing your car harder than before as you speed around them. It was terrifying. More so than the last because now you’re in the lead. If this were Mario Kart, there would be shells and hellfire raining on you right now. You sigh as your race engineer cheers you on, “Okay, just keep this up for…” As you pass the finish line again, he goes, “Two laps!” You hold back your smile, knowing if you start feeling giddy now, you'll blow the whole race. 

You don’t hesitate gaping yourself from the rest of the racers. You end up behind the twentieth car again. Who’s told over their mic to let you pass, and you do, you feel a little bad about it. But if it meant another car between you and second, then you’d take it. You pass the line again, “Last lap!” you both cheer in unison as you race around the track, eventually seeing nineteenth as you take the final curve to the finish line. And you almost can’t believe your eyes as you see the checkered flag signaling your win. You fly through not believing your eyes. The rest of the cars finish the laps they’re on before you start your lap of victory. You engineer joining the boys in their air-conditioned room. You start hearing all their cheers. You grin as you finish your lap and park your car on the finish line, excitement riddling your bones. Today marks your first big win in Formula One. You get out of your racecar as a crowd of people starts gathering around you. You stand up on top of it, raise your arms above your head, and let out a victory cheer.

You pull off your helmet and place it on the roof, catching a puff of pink in the crowd. You grin as you see Hyunggu pushing through the crowd to get you. He makes the final push as you smile. He puts his arms out to catch you, and you hop right into them. When you’re at ear level, he whispers, “That’s my baby. I’m so proud of you!” You kiss his cheek, “You gave me that extra push to want to win.” He blushes, and the crowd starts absorbing the two of you, bombarding you with questions about the race. You thank them and answer as many as possible before your crew and staff pull you and Hyunggu away. 

They take you alone to the winner’s circle, and you find Hyunggu off to the side. Your crew spills champagne over you, and you laugh as you close your eyes. And do your interviews after wiping your face with a towel. “What’s it like to win?” “Better than I imagined.” “What was the journey like getting to this point?” “Long but worth it.” They keep bombarding you, and you wait for one of them to catch their breath before you sneak out of the light. Wanting nothing more than to be out of your sticky champagne-ridden clothes. 

When you escape the camera’s eye for the second time, you see Hyunggu being interviewed. And you listen in, “Oh, Mr. Kino! We heard you were dating the winner of today’s race, (Y/n).” He goes, “Yes?” And they ask, “What’s it like to date a racecar driver?” You can’t wipe the grin off your face as he goes, “The best feeling in the world.” You come over slowly, “I’d love to talk more about my feelings for (Y/n). But it’s their day, so please shine the light on them.” You grin, and they ask you a few questions before you’re on your way again. “Want a sticky hug?” He shakes his head, “I like these clothes.” You fakely pout, “Aw, okay,” before laughing and grabbing his hand, “I’m so excited to change.” He laughs and agrees.

And you make your way back to the pit and see your crew. They hand you fresh new clothes after you wash your hands off. You head to the bathroom and quickly shower, ridding yourself of all the sparkling wine residue. Once you're all cleaned up, you come out to big cheers, pizza, and a cake. You nearly cry as you watch them light it up all for you, “For (Y/n)’s a jolly good racer, for (Y/n)’s a jolly good racer, for (Y/n)’s a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!” You laugh as you blow out the candles and thank them all. Your engineer says, “Sorry, it’s not up to par. We ordered it at the last minute when we realized you may win today.” You shake your head, tears brimming in your eyes, “It’s perfect.” He pats your head, “Good job out there, kid. Now, let’s celebrate and eat good!” You cheer as they have you sit in the middle of the two long tables they put out. 

All of you chat happily, celebrating your win. You cheer with your pop cans, “I owe it to all of you guys. If it wasn’t for you guys, I don’t know if I’d even be out on that track tonight!” They laugh, some disagree, and you take the time to thank every person seated with you. When you sit back down, Hyunggu wraps his arm around your waist as he eats his pizza happily. You finish your pizza before eventually cutting everyone a piece of cake, “A big slice for my engineer, who called all the shots.” “A big slice, for my loving boyfriend.” Your manager jokes, “It’s a big slice for everyone, isn’t it?” You smirk, “Yes, but I get the biggest!” They all laugh, and you finish cutting the cake and sit back down. And when the party ties down, you clean up after everyone, your crew leaving to enjoy the rest of the night. 

With the help of your friends, you’re able to clean up. Lastly, you put your car into neutral and push it back into the garage before parking and leaving. As everyone heads to their cars, you ask, “What hotel are you guys staying at?” “The APA” You grin, “Me too!” Hyunggu hops into your car immediately, “I can’t even begin to explain the joy I felt seeing you this morning.” He smiles, “I’m so glad I could surprise you.” “Best surprise ever.” He squeezes your hand, and you drive back to your hotel. You meet back up with the guys and talk for a while in the lobby before you let out a yawn, which causes a chain reaction. As you guys start heading for your rooms, Yuto asks, “We’re going to make the trip over to Nagano, my hometown, tomorrow if you want to come with us?” You smile, “I’d love to.” Hyunggu makes no effort to follow the boys, “You’re all mine tonight?” He smirks, and as the elevator door closes, he goes, “Yeah, and I have just the idea on how to celebrate your win~”

—---

Your next races weren’t as successful as the Suzuka race, but you didn’t mind too much. After all, considering all the celebrating. The little trip you got to spend with the seven of them in Nagano while it wasn’t long. It made you feel refreshed, and nothing could change that. Your giddy feeling didn’t fade no matter your placement, even when you placed 11th in Brazil. You were proud you had made it either way. Maybe you weren’t winning a cup for your performance, but it was a wonderful feeling to say you won a race in the Grand Prix. Your last place in Abu Dhabi was 2nd, and you finished on a good note, too. And you couldn’t help but feel more accomplished as you returned home. 

You get off the plane, excited to be back home. You make your way to the exit when you see someone holding a sign with your name. “Welcome home, (Y/n)!” You get up closer and see it’s their manager. He smiles as you reach him, “The boys sent me to get you.” You grin, “Thanks,” He grabs your luggage and says, “Allow me to take that. The car is waiting for us.” You smile and thank him again as you make your way there. He opens the door for you, you get inside, and he quickly shuts it. You decide where to sit and look back to the backseat to see a grinning Hyunggu. You gasp, and he cheers, “Welcome home!” You waste no time getting into the furthest seat back and flinging your arms around him as the trunk pops and his manager puts away your luggage. Hyunggu giggles as the tailgate shuts, and you smile, “I’m so happy to be home.” He squints at you, “But you’re not at your apartment?” You smile and kiss his nose, “I’m in your arms. That’s home enough for me.” He laughs, “You cheese ball.” 

His manager pops into the driver's seat, shuts the door, and you separate enough to put your seatbelt on. Still holding his hand, he goes, “Do you want to celebrate with the guys today or tomorrow?” You think, “Tomorrow, I’m kind of tired.” He nods, “I figured you would be. Tomorrow it is then.” His manager starts driving you back to your apartment, “So, tell me all about your past racing experiences.” You smile and lean your head on his shoulder as you try to recount everything back to him. He listens well, making sure you know with little hums of agreement when necessary. You continue until you’re almost back, “And that’s pretty much everything you’ve missed. What about the guys?” He laughs as he tells you about their laser tag adventures and how you should come along next time. As you hop out of the car, he gets your luggage, and you both thank his manager, who tells you guys to be safe. You both laugh as you remind him you will. 

You walk up to your apartment hand in hand. And Hyunggu finishes his stories before you reach the door. He asks, “You wanted ramen when you came home, right?” You go, “Yeah,” He nods, “Great, 'cause I ordered some.” You smile as you unlock the door and head inside. You put away your stuff, clean your luggage case, and throw your clothes into the dryer. Hyunggu pulls out the takeout and heats it as you clean up. Lastly, you pull out your trophy and smile at it. You didn’t come home a world champion trophy holder, but you came home with a Grand Prix race trophy, and you couldn’t be more proud to display it. You place fake daisies inside and shine the outside up before putting it into a glass cabinet. 

Hyunggu comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, “I’m so proud of you, baby.” You smile and lean into his hug, “Thank you.” You turn your head to kiss him, and he grins as he kisses you back, “We’ve made it.” He smiles, “I think so.” You hold one of his hands in yours and squeeze it, and he does it back, “Yes?” You smile, “I’m so glad I have you.” He kisses your nape and says, “I’m grateful I have you too.” You smile, and the two of you stand in front of your display case. Inside, sitting side by side is his replica of their ‘Show!’ award and your Suzuka triumph. Through the trials and tribulations, you both came out victorious together. And the rewards were just a mere show of that. The love you held for each other through it all was the true testament of it all.

#kino #kino x reader #kino fluff #hyunggu #hyunggu x reader #pentagon fluff #kang hyunggu #kang hyungggu x reader #pentagon #pentagon x reader #hyunggu fluff #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #ptg #ptg x reader #kino x you #hyunggu x you #pentagon x you #long fic #pentagon fanfic #kino fanfic #pentagon kino #kino pentagon #pentagon fic #kino fic #fluff #angst? #suggestive? #strangers to lovers

[kpoppwriter]

Pentagon Reaction - Having a Short S/O

❧ Anon asked: Ptg reaction to having a short and/or chubby S/O? 👉🏻👈🏻 (your writing gives me life btw! It's so good!)

❧ A/N: I’ve been in a ptg mood recently

~※ Main Masterlist ※~

Jinho

The short king Jinho himself definitely doesn’t mind that you’re short. If you’re shorter than him, it actually gives him a bit of an ego boost. He likes having you shorter than him since it makes him feel like your protector. 

Hui

Hui may be on the shorter side himself but he’s gonna tease you a bit for being short. He actually likes that you’re short. It makes it so he can really wrap himself around you when you cuddle. 

Hongseok

Oh man. Hongseok is such a little tease. He teases and pokes fun at your height all the time. If you get bothered by it, he will stop. He thinks you’re so cute -- especially when you get angry and try to be all intimidating. 

Shinwon

Shinwon doesn’t mind that you’re short. He actually likes being able to drape his long limbs around you and fully envelope you. He might poke fun here and there but he doesn’t make it a regular thing. 

Yeo One

Aww Changgu thinks you’re just the cutest thing. He thinks you’re cute regardless of your height but it just adds to your cuteness. Oh, he might just combust when you have to get on your tippy toes to kiss him.

Yanan

Yanan doesn’t really think much about your height. To him, it doesn’t matter what his s/o’s height is. He loves you regardless. He does sometimes put stuff on the top shelf just to mess with you.

Yuto

Yuto is a sweet but teasing man. He’ll put things on the top shelf just so you have to come ask him for help. He does like that ego boost. He doesn’t verbally tease you much though. 

Kino

Kino thinks you’re cute all the time; your height is just a bonus to that. He likes to play around a bit but he never really teases you. He loves being able to wrap his whole body right around your smaller one. 

Wooseok

Wooseok is that guy that uses your head like an arm rest. He also calls you shorty and other short pun nicknames. He’s just a menace. He does do it out of love though.

#kpop #kpop blog #pentagon #pentagon reactions #pentagon headcanons #pentagon scenarios #pentagon x reader #pentagon x you #pentagon fluff #pentagon jinho #jo jinho #pentagon hui #lee hwitaek #lee hoetaek #pentagon hongseok #yang hongseok #pentagon shinwon #ko shinwon #pentagon yeo one #yeo changgu #pentagon yanan #yanan #pentagon yuto #adachi yuto #pentagon kino #kang hyunggu #pentagon wooseok #jung wooseok

[greenglowinspooks]

(DCXDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 5)

—

Tw: torture scene (GiW agent receiving), general angst, canon-typical violence (DC), nobody is having a good time

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Masterlist/subscription post)

—

It was pretty easy for Danny to forget that Dr. Crane was a rogue at times.

Most of the time he wasn’t comically evil, like what he’d expect of a Gotham rogue. He was helping Danny, even if only because he didn’t want to be taken in by the GiW as well. He was even downright nice most of the time, or at least neutral.

Sure, he had a strange obsession with fear and psychology, but that wasn’t really out of the ordinary for Danny. It didn’t feel like living with a rogue, just like…staying with a distant relative, or something.

He seemed like just an ordinary person.

Today, though, Danny was brought back to reality.

The GiW agent they’d tracked down together writhed on the ground, screaming in pain and terror. Scarecrow was sat a few feet away, setting up a syringe of the antidote he’d made.

After a few more moments, he injected the man with the antidote, watching him like a hawk the entire time.

Suddenly, the man surged forward, lunging at Scarecrow with a feral scream.

Unluckily for him, though, he was still weak from the fear toxin in his system, and from the beatings he’d received prior. Scarecrow easily wrestled him to the ground, settling himself on the broad part of the agent’s back with a vice grip on one of his arms.

“Let’s try again,” he said sharply, all of the warmth Danny had grown used to gone from his voice. “Where is the GiW base of operations?”

The agent took several shuddering breaths before spitting at Scarecrow, defiance and hatred written all over his face.

For just a moment, the room was utterly silent.

“Fine, have it your way.”

Scarecrow began to twist the man’s arm further. It wasn’t long before the agent began to squirm, then writhe, beneath him. Danny’s stomach churned.

“You know,” Scarecrow began, almost conversationally, “there are plenty of jobs that one can get without the use of their legs, especially with the level of education you have. Anything that doesn’t involve hard labor, really.”

The man’s face was beginning to turn red in his struggle not to scream. He took in gasping breaths, the way that his mouth moved almost reminding Danny of a goldfish.

(He felt awful for the comparison, but it was true.)

“However,” Scarecrow continued, “I find you’d be rather hard-pressed to find a job without the use of your arms. Especially in a place like Gotham, where you can always be replaced by someone eager to do your job for even less money. Of course, you could most likely coast off of savings and severance pay for a while, but…”

He leaned closer to the man’s head, his voice lowering.

“Would you be able to live like that? To live with yourself, if you no longer have a purpose?”

He allowed the agent a few seconds of rest before increasing the pressure on his arm. The agent gasped, letting out a strangled hiss. His arm bones were making fascinating noises in response to the strain. Danny felt sick.

“You seem like a rather driven young man. I’m sure your family would hate to see you unmotivated, directionless. Would they resent you, do you think?”

“Fuck you, you—”

The man was cut off by his own scream as Scarecrow finally allowed his arm to break, audibly splintering into thousands of useless shards of bone.

He had the exact pressure memorized. Clearly, he had done this before.

This was wrong. This was wrong.

Shouldn’t Danny step in, do something?

“That won’t heal cleanly. Even with the best medical care in the world, you’ll end up with permanent damage.”

The man below him wheezed and sobbed, choking on air as Scarecrow let go of his arm carelessly, letting it flop back onto the ground.

“Just the sort of thing something like you deserves,” Scarecrow hissed, his voice cold.

“You tortured a child, and you enjoyed it. You laughed with your friends about it. In your notes, one of your friends complained about the screaming,” Scarecrow brought his leg around, grinding his boot into the man’s broken arm. He howled in agony, writhing uncontrollably.

“Was it inconvenient to him, do you think? Too loud? If you were joking about it, clearly you thought so, too. I could fix that as well.”

He drew out another needle, this one once again filled with fear toxin.

“Scarecrow, wait,” Danny choked out.

Scarecrow turned to look at him.

Even his posture was different than usual. He looked… stiff, more like an animal than a man. When he tilted his head at Danny in a silent question, it looked like something in his neck had snapped, his head lolling to the side.

Danny wondered if he was consciously moving like that, or if it was habit at this point.

“You—we don’t have to do this. We can get information some other way, right? You don’t have to…”

Danny looked down at the GiW agent below Scarecrow. He didn’t even have it in him to glare up at Danny like he had before. Instead he laid limply on the ground, tremors rolling through his body uncontrollably.

“We’ve exhausted every other option and you know it,” Scarecrow said, his voice low, “this is the only way we can move forward.”

“Still, I—I don’t,” Danny swallowed, his throat tight, “this isn’t—this isn’t right. Isn’t there some other way to do this? Like—a truth serum, or something?”

“Truth serums are notoriously unreliable. They’re almost as bad as lie detectors. We’re much more likely to get a reliable result from this.”

Danny just stared at the GiW agent and his splintered, ruined arm. He began to weakly wriggle in Scarecrow’s grasp, which was graciously ignored.

He vaguely remembered himself doing the same thing when he was on the operating table; even if he knew there was no chance of escape, he still thrashed and screamed, desperate to get away. The jagged I-shaped incision on his torso felt uncomfortably warm.

What was there left to say?

“The Bat does the same thing at times, you know,” Scarecrow said, “him and the rest of his brood. By using my toxin, I’m actually lessening the amount of permanent damage that I’m doing. Physically.”

“Still, that doesn’t make it right,” Danny said desperately. “Even if—even if everyone in the world did this, it wouldn’t make it right.”

Scarecrow hummed.

They were both silent for a moment.

His next words were gentle, absurdly so when compared to the scene in front of him.

“I would love an alternative. But…”

He shrugged, hand coming to rest on the break in the GiW agent’s arm. Even without applying any pressure, the man stopped squirming immediately.

“There aren’t any other options,” Danny repeated, his voice flat and his body numb.

“Yes,” Scarecrow said. “I’m sorry.”

There was a pause. No one moved a muscle. Eventually Scarecrow spoke again, his voice strangely empty.

“You can stand outside and keep watch, if you’d like. At such a short distance their radars won’t pick us up.”

Danny said nothing, leaving the room silently.

He sat outside for quite a while.

He was grateful that Scarecrow had, with his help, dragged the agent to one of his previous hideouts. It was soundproofed, after all.

He was glad that he didn’t have to hear the rest of what Scarecrow did to the man.

After what felt like an eternity, Dr. Crane left the building, joining him outside. He guided Danny back to his beat up old truck and they drove home in silence.

“Did you at least…do you know where they are, now?” Danny asked as they entered the apartment, his voice small.

“They didn’t share the details of all of their locations with any one person. I know where one of their locations are, but not their main base of operations.”

Danny felt disgusted. With himself, with Dr. Crane, with the GiW.

He was disgusted by the agent, too. Did he just hate the restless dead so much that he would prefer to be tortured than to give them the upper hand? Did he really think he was in the right?

Was there a chance that he was?

Danny felt very, very small, and very stupid. Stupid and weak and cowardly.

“Danny,” Dr. Crane spoke, his voice soft.

“I’m truly sorry that this is happening to you. I really, truly wish that you didn’t have to endure my company. I…”

He fell quiet. Danny wondered if he was just saying this to pacify him, or if he truly meant it. He wondered if it really mattered in the end.

After a few moments of silence, Dr. Crane sighed, looking truly pained.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Danny was quiet.

“I’m going to bed early,” he finally said, turning away and leaving without a second glance.

—

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp fic #liminal scarecrow #this kinda shit is how the fic got its name btw. #like yeah obviously it’s also in reference to the contrast between crane and danny’s actual parents #but it’s also about doing what you need to survive vs what is best for the people dependent on you #tshirt that says I love moral quandaries I love when no matter what you do you lose I love torturing characters #Scarecrow: why isn’t torturing everyone who wronged you healing this child. it worked for ME #meanwhile Danny is undergoing the torment nexus #and red hood is doing some doomguy shit #getting swarmed by GiW agents bc he’s one of the only ones showing up on the radar #Tucker voice Wow Mr red hood this is kinda fucked up. can I use the bat computer to hack the pentagon btw

[jubilly]

cyclops telepathically cheating on his wife WITH his wife, classic cyke

#MIND YOU his future gf is eavesdropping on the whole thing ejkntgjknf #messy ass love pentagon #x-men 97 #cyclops #scott summers #madelyne pryor #jean grey #emma frost

[jinkoh]

boy, you're heaven

kino/hyunggu x gn reader

summary: getting into a friends with benefits arrangement with the guy you'd been crushing on for ages doesn't seem like the best idea—but Hyunggu is just too good to resist.

word count: ~21k

Tags: fwb to lovers, very suggestive scenes, hurt/comfort, slow burn, hint of a love triangle but not really, jealous &possessive Hyunggu but all in healthy amounts Warnings: alcohol consumption i avoided descriptions of physical attributes but reader wears his clothes in between (it's not stated how the clothes fit and whether they are oversized or not)

a/n: this started as a small little songfic for my most favorite friend @ bananayanan and then it accidentally consumed my whole being. the song is heaven by shygirl btw i hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

You'd known Hyunggu for quite a while already. He'd been part of your circle of friends for years and your little crush on him had persisted just as long.

You knew it was nothing that would come to fruition—after all, Hyunggu wasn't someone who did relationships, not really, not seriously.

You on the other hand weren't someone who did casual. You didn't want anything that was just physical or out of convenience.

Consequently, falling for Hyunggu was the most pointless thing you'd ever done. But it wasn't like you could control your feelings and stop liking him just because you knew it was pointless.

So, you stayed by his side as a friend.

Maybe it was better that way. He treated his friends well, he was caring and empathetic—a side of him you doubted his one night stands and hookups saw a lot of when he dropped them like hot potatoes the moment they got too attached.

You were lucky, right? To be able to be close to your crush and keep a positive relationship

—or so you tried telling yourself. But honestly whenever he had someone new, even if it was just for a night, you couldn't stop yourself from getting jealous.

Except for your best friend no one really knew about your crush. It was clear that she pitied you or at least hoped for you to move on. She'd been watching this pathetic longing for years now and decided you finally deserved some happiness of your own.

She told you just that, when she convinced you to go to the party of the friend of a friend.

"You know,  you have to mingle with people a bit, meet new faces and all that."

By new faces she mostly meant one new face in specific. She'd recently met some guy over a shared lecture and she swore the two of you would be a perfect match.

"He likes cooking like you do and he has the same taste in movies too!!"

You honestly doubted that anything would change but you wanted to move on as much as she wanted you to so you agreed to meet him either way.

You got all dressed up (not without your friend's meddling, who assured you you were looking really hot after she was done with you) and went to that party.

"So, who is it?" you asked, looking around the flat full of people ranging from almost sober to very drunk.

"I don't think he's here yet. Let's get drinks first?"

The two of you got yourselves some drinks, played some games and talked with random people your friend knew but you didn't. Honestly it wasn't too bad of an evening. Maybe it was the alcohol making you loosen up a little and feel less awkward around strangers, but you had a good time, pretty much forgetting about both Hyunggu and the guy your friend wanted to set you up with.

Eventually your friend's phone screen lit up with a call and she went outside to get it. In the meantime you went to get yourself a refill from the kitchen.

At this point the kitchen was plenty messy, open bottles everywhere, and it took you a while to figure out which were empty and which weren't.

"Y/n?" you suddenly heard a familiar voice behind you. When you turned around Hyunggu was leaning against the door frame.

"Hyunggu," you just deadpanned, a little caught off guard to meet him. "I didn't know you were here."

"Dito." He gave you a once over before he broke into a smug grin and stepped a little closer. "Dressed to impress, hm?"

You suddenly felt uncomfortable in your clothes. It wasn't what you usually wore but you'd thought the difference wasn't that obvious. But now you felt as if you were wearing an ill fitting costume.

"No," you stuttered out. "Just wanted to try something new." An awkward laugh escaped your lips. "Guess it doesn't suit me."

Hyunggu took another step closer, standing right in front of you now. You could smell the alcohol on him, but there was also the flowery scent of his perfume.

"Not at all." He smiled at you through hooded eyes. "You look good."

Your mouth felt dry. "Is that so?"

"Mhm," he nodded, his eyes wandering from your face down to your feet and back up again. "It is."

For a moment you just stared at him, right into his dark eyes. There was a hunger in them that you hadn't seen before. At least not like this, not directed at yourself.

You tore your gaze away, feeling the heat rise to your ears. "Are you drunk, Hyunggu?"

"Maybe a little tipsy?" He chuckled, but when he reached for your chin to make you look at him his expression was serious again. "But I know a pretty thing when I see one."

You shouldn't be attracted to this, you knew that well. But after years and years of feeling jealous of the people by his side that got to have him if only for a night, you couldn't help the way your heart was racing in your chest now that you'd taken their place. Of course, this wouldn't lead anywhere. He'd surely snap out of it any second, maybe chuckle and say it was a joke.

But just for this moment it felt good to have him look at you like that, like he wanted to have you.

"Ran out of things to say?" he whispered, when you stayed silent.

"I'm just thinking—" You swallowed. "Maybe we should get back to the party."

"Should we?" A thoughtful pout appeared on his face. "I feel like I've spent enough time there already. It's not that good of a party, honestly."

You huffed a laugh. "Really?"

"Mhm, trust me, I'm an expert on that."

"So what do you suggest?" Your voice sounded breathless.

"I think we should get out of here. Unless—," he gave you another once over. "you're here with someone?"

"No," you whispered, ignoring the annoying voice in the back of your head telling you that this was a bad idea. "No, we can go."

He looked smug when he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the kitchen towards the entrance door with him.

Not even a minute later, you were already outside, the cold night air hitting you in the face like a bucket of ice water.

The voice in your head got louder then, no longer drowned out by the noise of the party.

But before it could convince you to abort this whole thing, Hyunggu waved over a cab and opened the door for you. Your limbs just moved on their own, sitting down on the backseat. And then the car door closed and Hyunggu was sitting next to you, leaning so close into your personal space you felt his breath against your ear.

He reached over your shoulder, practically caging you in against the seat

—and pulled at the seat belt to plug it in for you.

"Safety first," he whispered against your ear with a chuckle that made shivers run down your spine.

You felt embarrassed by the way your imagination had already started running wild with you—but was it really that off to think something would happen? You left the party together after all, why if not for something to happen?

Not long after, he closed the door to his apartment behind you and easily slipped out of his shoes and coat. Before you knew it his hands were on your shoulders, helping you out of your jacket and hanging it somewhere, but you didn't catch where exactly. Both, because of the darkness that engulfed the hallway, and the fact that you couldn't help looking around in fascination, trying to make out something, anything despite the lack of light.

It hadn't occurred to you before, but now that you were here you realized you hadn't been to his apartment until now.

Hyunggu didn't really give you time to marvel at the new surroundings though. He took you by the hand and pulled you with him through one of the doors. 

His eyes were constantly on you as you stepped inside his bedroom. He reached behind you to close the door, making you walk backwards until your back was flush against the smooth wooden surface.

The lock clicked shut but Hyunggu didn't show any intent to move away. Instead he kept hovering in your personal space, his eyes wandering over your face.

Your heart was hammering in your chest so loudly you were convinced he must be hearing it too from how close you were.

You just stood there, unable to do anything but look at him.  The tension between the two of you felt palpable, almost like something you could touch if you reached out your hand.

There were only a few inches left, such a small gap to close, but neither of you moved.

You, because you didn't dare to. 

Him? You weren't sure. Maybe he enjoyed this, the way he had you on edge.

"You know," he whispered after a while, his lips so close to your ear that you felt them ghosting your skin. "I really didn't take you to be this kinda person."

You weren't sure how to take his words. You hadn't taken yourself to be this kinda person either. Because you weren't. But when it came to Hyunggu it was different. It was the way he looked at you—how were you supposed to say no to him?

"What, disappointed?" you asked, trying hard to sound more confident and casual about this than you were. 

He chuckled. "Not at all. I’d say it’s a pleasant surprise."

You scoffed in an attempt to hide just how self-conscious you were feeling about all of this. You hadn't done anything like this before, not really. Going home with someone simply hadn't been anything you'd been interested in before, not with a stranger and even less with a friend. 

"So, what do we do now?" Hyunggu's lips were still close to your ear when he said that, his sultry voice making you shiver.

Despite his flirty undertone, you felt like he was giving you options. Namely, the option to back out, if you wanted to.

And maybe you should have taken it. Laughed it all off, said yeah, honestly, what are we doing? We're friends!

But you didn't. You needed him to look at you like this just a little longer. Were you being headless? Probably. But you  didn't care.

"Kiss me."

Hyunggu grinned self-satisfied as if he'd waited for you to say that. 

"My pleasure," he whispered against your lips, and then he closed the gap.

You'd imagined how it'd feel to kiss him a zillion times in your head. You'd made up scenarios of how his lips would graze yours gently or how he'd passionately kiss you in a heated moment.

The real thing was nothing like what you'd imagined it to be. He wasn't gentle or careful with you, he didn't treat you like something fragile that needed to be protected. But he wasn't exactly rough either.

If anything, the kiss felt greedy, as if he'd been hungry for this, for you, and it was all you could do to let yourself be devoured whole.

You barely noticed the way his hands found the hem of your shirt or how he guided you to his bed, but before you knew it you found yourself falling onto his mattress, your clothes scattered on the floor and  Hyunggu on top of you.

It wasn't romantic. You felt a little stiff, constantly worried about showing too much of yourself, of your feelings. You simply didn’t know how to behave. What was allowed and what wasn’t? How much affection were you allowed to show before you were crossing the line?

It felt like walking on a wire and heck, balance had never been one of your strong points.

He didn’t care to take it slow either. His hands on you were rushed and greedy. But despite the haste in his touch, his skin felt warm and soft against yours and you wondered if you'd get to feel it again once this night was over. It wasn't love on his part, you knew that. But at that moment it was the most you could get. Even if you’d regret it later, you were more than willing to give yourself to him if it meant getting to be this close.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself alone in an unfamiliar bed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that didn’t belong to you. It took you a second to wrap your head around things and realize where you were and how you’d ended up here.

It wasn’t like you’d expected romantic cuddling or anything of that type. But somehow, waking up in his bed by yourself made you feel terribly lonely and maybe even a little used. Of course, that wasn’t fair to Hyunggu. You’d known what you were signing up for when you left the party with him. You’d decided to do this, despite the regrets you would surely have about it. It wasn’t his fault that you set yourself up to get your heart broken.

Still, it hurt. 

Fighting back tears, you sat up and looked around the room to locate your clothes that were scattered on the floor. You quickly slipped into your underwear, before gathering the rest of your things.

Just when you wanted to take off Hyunggu’s shirt to put on your own clothes, the door opened and you quickly pulled it down again to cover yourself.

He chuckled at your hasty movement. “Not like there’s anything I haven’t already seen.”

“That—,” you tried to protest but you couldn’t really come up with anything.

Hyunggu looked at you with a cheeky smile that reached his eyes. It felt a little unfair that he could smile at you like this, like what happened wasn’t a big deal, while you were beating yourself up about it.

“Are you having breakfast? Don’t have much here, but I’m sure we could come up with something. You can take a shower too.”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. You weren’t sure what you wanted from him exactly, but it wasn’t a casual invitation to breakfast.

“Ah, thanks, but I’m meeting someone later and I still need to clean up a bit so I should probably get going,” you lied.

He simply nodded, not particularly shaken up by your reply. “Okay, sure.”

You rushed past him into the bathroom to get dressed and wash your face. You’d hoped the cold water would help you calm down but it wasn’t really doing much. The only thing keeping you from crying was the fact that you’d have to get out of this bathroom and face Hyunggu again.

The moment you left his apartment though, throwing a hasty goodbye at Hyunggu who told you he’d see you on Monday, you couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

Maybe you were being overdramatic, but the whole situation was too much for you. There was a reason why you didn’t usually do these things, but it was a little too late to mourn this now.

Things didn’t change after that. Everything was just the way it had always been. At least on the surface.

If someone would have bothered to dig a little deeper, maybe they would have noticed the way you kept being overly conscious of every little move, afraid to give away what happened between Hyunggu and you to anyone else and even more afraid that he could notice that it’d shaken you up.

But no one did. Hyunggu too was just like always. In a way you were grateful that you were still allowed to be by his side now even if it was just as a friend. Not many one night stands of his got that privilege. But the problem was, you didn’t really know how to be his friend anymore. It was draining, as if you were constantly wearing a mask.

You weren’t sure if Hyunggu simply didn’t notice or if he was just trying to preserve your dignity. Either way, he didn’t say anything.

Just when you thought you’d slowly gotten used to this whole game of charade, your friends decided it was time for a little get away. Nothing big—most of you were both busy and broke. Changgu found a cottage that wasn’t too far away and not too expensive either. It didn’t have enough beds, but Shinwon reassured that he was fine taking the couch for a night.

So, on a weekend before exam season started, you all took the trip to the cottage. It was a little remote, part of a small holiday settlement by a lake. Yuto had been pretty happy about that, hoping to do some fishing (though, looking at the rainy weather, you weren’t sure if he’d go through with it).

Honestly, you were a little nervous about the trip, unsure if you’d be able to have Hyunggu around so much. But since there’d be other people too you weren’t too pessimistic. Of course, none of your friends knew what was going on. You hadn’t even told your best friend about the one night stand. But, since she knew about your crush and desperately wanted you to get over it, you were convinced she’d keep you two from being alone. Besides, since Shinwon, Wooseok and Yuto were coming along, all of them incredibly close to Hyunggu, you felt they’d probably keep him occupied. And in the meantime you could just have a nice stay with Changgu and your bestie. It was only two days and one night anyway.

Except, that could be a really long time if you were locked-up in a rather small cottage, the sheer endless downpour keeping you from exploring outside. 

You’d really hoped the weather would get better, but the closer you got to your destination, the worse it got. Just the short distance from the cars to the cottage left you drenched and you were more than glad to finally get inside. Since most of you wanted to wash up and get changed, you quickly sorted the rooms and then took turns with the bathrooms. There were two single rooms that Changgu and Hyunggu were lucky enough to snatch by winning at rock, paper, scissors. The two double rooms were shared by Wooseok and Yuto and you and your best friend respectively. As promised, Shinwon got himself comfortable on the couch in the living room.

After everyone had warmed up, you played a few games and made food. You naturally split into smaller groups. Naturally, except for the fact that you purposely avoided being stuck with Hyunggu for too long. He didn’t deserve to be avoided, but being with him for too long just hurt. It made you remember and yearn and regret when all you wanted to do was forget.

You drank a little during dinner, and continued on afterwards, accompanied by stupid little games or odd stories. It was nice to be together with everyone like this, and somehow it felt really wholesome despite the bad weather. 

As it got later and later, everyone excused themselves to go to sleep. Your body too was desperate for some rest, so you tagged along when your best friend went upstairs.

But once you were laying in bed, your friend next to you already passed out, you felt wide awake. It wasn’t like anything specific was keeping you awake, it was just an overall feeling of anxiousness. Unable to calm down, you sneaked out of your room and down to the veranda that branched from the living room. You made sure not to wake Shinwon, who was snoring on the couch, when you opened the glass door and stepped outside. 

The sound of the rain pattering against the wooden floor boards was somewhat comforting. It had let up a little, the rain shower yielding to a gentle drizzle, but you stayed close to the house wall either way, taking shelter under the roofing. 

For a while you just sat there in silence, watching the water hitting the ground and forming little puddles. You started to feel cold, but you didn’t want to interrupt Shinwon further by getting warmer clothes, nor did you want to go to bed just yet. So, you pulled your legs closer to your body, rubbing your arms in steady movements to keep warm.

Suddenly, you felt a blanket drape around your shoulder. When your head snapped up, you were faced with Hyunggu giving you a smile as he closed the door behind himself. You’d been so lost in thought, you hadn’t even heard him open it.

“I only brought one, so we’ll have to share.” He crouched down next to you, and tugged at the blanket to get under it too. “I didn’t know you’d be out here.”

You adjusted a bit to give him more space, hyper aware of all the places your bodies touched. 

“Can’t sleep?” You asked eventually.

He just shrugged, wrapping the blanket more tightly around the two of you and coming even closer as he did so.

Desperate to distract yourself and fill the silence with words, you said the first thing that came to your mind. “You know, they say when you can’t sleep it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.”

“Hmm,” he cocked his head. “Is that so?”

After thinking about it for a second, a thoughtful pout appeared on his face. “But who would that be? After all, you're awake too.”

You almost choked. “Why would I dream of you?”

He smiled cheekily before he leaned in close enough for his lips to graze your ear. “I have an idea or two.” He trailed lower then, his lips ghosting over your neck making you shudder. “I’m sure you can think of some, too.”

“I don't think we should do this,” you whispered, but your actions betrayed you, tilting your head to give him more access.

You felt him grin against your skin. “But I think we both really want to. So, why shouldn't we?”

“Just—,” you let out a small gasp when he left a kiss right below your jaw. “Someone could see. Shinwon is literally sleeping in the living room.”

“Hm, so that's what you're worried about?” Hyunggu pulled away and got back onto his feet, pulling the blanket from you in the act. “I have an easy solution for that.”

He held out his hand to you, a challenging smirk on his lips. “Unless you don't want to after all?”

You hated yourself for being so weak to him and giving in so easily. But you simply couldn’t let this go.

With a racing pulse, you took his hand and let him help you up. He intertwined your fingers and opened the door with his other hand. Before you went inside though, he turned around again, his index finger raised to his lips. 

“We better be quiet,” he whispered with a wink, as if you really needed that reminder.

You tiptoed up to his bedroom, careful not to wake anyone up. But the moment the door closed behind you, he lost all reservations. With a swift movement, he had you up against the wall, his body flush against yours.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Hyunggu mumbled into your neck, his hands finding their way to your hips. “A lot.”

You didn’t reply, couldn’t reply, your mind still trying to process his words while his eager hands already pushed up the fabric of your shirt.

His lips brushed against your shoulder. “Up,” he whispered and you felt the word tickling your skin. You obliged, raising your arms so he could take off your shirt with a satisfied grin, before he pulled you in again, his lips trailing from your neck down to your chest.

You trembled in his hold, your hands clinging to his shoulders. It was all kinds of wrong, but you felt impatient for more, desperate even. He noticed and his grin grew a little wider. 

“Maybe we should move this to the bed?”

You expected him to just pull you along, but he didn’t. Instead he waited for a reply from you, his lips continuing to travel your skin. You swallowed around the lump in your throat, trying to come up with words but blanking. Hyunggu didn’t seem satisfied with the nod you gave him in place of a proper response though.

“Hm?” He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, your voice quivering. “We should.”

With a content hum, he pecked your temple before pulling you to the bed and pushing you down onto the mattress. He didn’t waste time to get his hands and mouth on you again, eagerly exploring your body and taking you apart.

His lips didn’t seem to ever leave your skin for more than a second. And yet, you were left yearning for him to kiss you, to really kiss you. He did last time, so why wasn’t he now? You didn’t dare to ask him for it though, even less initiate it yourself. No matter how much you wanted it, you were too afraid that he’d be able to look right behind your mask if you did.

“You know,” Hyunggu mumbled a while later, his arm loosely thrown over your body. It was still dark outside, the rain pattering against the window in a steady rhythm and you were laying next to him on the twin size bed.

“Mhm?” You still felt a little high, your breath only just evening out.

“I think we should do this more often.”

For a moment you stayed silent, unsure if you’d heard him right. When you turned your head to look at him questioningly, he looked right back. His features were open and relaxed as if his suggestion was the most normal thing ever. His tone too was so casual, you could have thought he was talking about table tennis or something and not, you know, sex.

“What?” You asked, just to be sure you heard him right.

He shrugged sheepishly. “I mean, we clearly have good chemistry. We should do this more often. Isn’t that better than looking for someone new all the time?”

You hesitated. See, it’s not that you weren’t aware just how bad of an idea this was. You undoubtedly would get hurt over and over again. But at least you could have him. If not all of him, if not his heart, you could at least have him like this. And if it meant he wouldn’t seek out anyone else either, that meant you also wouldn’t have to feel jealous anymore—wasn’t it a good deal in the end?

Before you could second guess yourself, you nodded. “Sure.”

“Good.” He grinned widely. “Just don’t fall in love with me.”

“Right back at you. The one who falls first loses.” You ignored the stinging in your chest (or the fact that you’d long lost this game before it had even started).

“Hm,” he nodded thoughtfully. “I think I’ll do fine. I really hate losing.”

“Let’s keep it a secret though.”

“What, scared to ruin your reputation, sweetheart?”

“I just don’t need anyone’s opinion on this.”

“Fine with me.” He shrugged. “But I guess you should go back to your room then. I’m sure they’d have a lot of questions if you came out of my room in the morning.”

When you were back in your bed, your best friend snoring beside you unbothered, you felt empty. You stared at the ceiling blankly, wondering if this was as big of a mistake as it seemed or if maybe, eventually, you’d learn to separate your body from your heart after all.

The trip ended just like that. No one noticed what had happened between the two of you and once again everything looked as always. You wondered how Hyunggu could be this good at keeping a poker face—then again, maybe it was easier if you didn’t have any feelings involved.

You knew you’d agreed to some kind of friends with benefits thing, but you weren’t sure if anything would come of it. Sure, he said he wanted to do it again, but that didn’t mean it would actually happen.

Hyunggu didn’t leave you wondering for too long though. Just a few days after the trip, he texted you, asking if you wanted to come over that night. He didn’t mask his intentions by inviting you for dinner or a movie, but you supposed that kind of courting wasn’t necessary if you were nothing but fuck buddies in the first place.

The first time, you still had some reservations. You drove over anyway, too spineless to actually decline. No matter how hard it was to put up with the loneliness that would rush over you as soon as the deed was done, being with him just felt so good, you’d convinced yourself it was worth it.

You never stayed the night. Hyunggu didn’t throw you out, he wasn’t the kind of person that would make you drive home at night after he’d slept with you. Not when there was no threat of someone finding out, anyway. In fact, when you slipped out of bed and put your clothes back on that first night after the trip, he looked at you in surprise.

“You know that you don’t have to go, right?” He had questioned, sitting up in his bed. “It was just because of the others last time, you know that, right?”

But you’d just waved him off, saying you simply preferred to sleep in your own bed.

The truth was, you couldn’t bear the thought of reliving the morning after that first night together. You’d been miserable and hurt, and if it could spare you even a sliver of that heartbreak, you were willing to drive home at the dead of night.

Another measure you’d taken  to protect yourself was not to invite him to your place ever. You pretended it was about convenience. In reality you just doubted you’d ever get over this, if you knew how it was to have him in your home, in your bed, to have your sheets smelling like him.

No, you needed to distance yourself emotionally as much as possible, if you wanted to somehow make this work. So you did.

“By the way,” Changgu asked a few weeks later at lunch. “Are you all going to that Valentine’s party?” He looked into the round, hoping for a little bit of enthusiasm. But everyone just shrugged.

“Nah, I’ll stay home.” Wooseok barely looked up from his phone as he replied, the plate in front of him already empty.

“You always stay home,” Changgu complained. “And I bet if you don’t go, Yuto won’t either.”

At the comment, Yuto just shrugged, evading to meet Changgu’s gaze.

He sighed. “Y’all are no fun. Hyunggu?”

Your head snapped around to Hyunggu just a little too quickly, curious about his response. Of course you didn’t have any claim on him in any way and if he wanted to go he could. But it was no secret that he 1) loved parties and 2) didn’t fancy going home alone.

To your surprise Hyunggu tilted his head thoughtfully. “Don’t know. Maybe?”

“What do you mean maybe? You always go to that party. It’s Valentine’s!”

“Yeah, don’t know. Maybe,” he simply repeated, making the pout on Changgu’s face grow even further.

“Y/n?” He turned to you with pleading eyes.

“Uh, I also don’t really know, Changgu. I don’t really want to go to a Valentine’s party as a single.” You scrunched your nose.

“But that’s the whole point—,” Changgu started, but was promptly interrupted by Shinwon who showed up at the table right then, your best friend in tow.

“Just date Hyunggu then. He’s single.” You were sure it was meant to be a joke, but with Shinwon’s dry humor it wasn’t always easy to tell.

Your best friend snorted, as she sat her tray onto the table and plopped down on the chair next to you. “As if he’d ever do relationships.”

“I mean,” Hyunggu grinned, throwing you a playful wink. “It doesn’t have to be a relationship.”

You felt your face heat up and prayed that no one would notice. Thankfully their attention seemed to be focused more on Hyunggu, despite the conversation being about you, too.

“Come on, Hyunggu, y/n deserves better than that,” your friend argued.

Shinwon shrugged, sitting down at the table too. “They do say opposites attract.”

You caught Changgu nodding thoughtfully next to him.

Wooseok looked up from his phone too then, his gaze wandering to Hyunggu before it settled on you. For a second you wondered if he’d noticed something, but his eyes just examined you innocently. 

“Y/n would never get into something casual anyway,” he concluded. “Would you?”

You forced a laugh and wondered if it sounded as strangled to everyone else as it did to you. “Never.”

From your peripheral vision you saw the way Hyunggu looked at you with a raised eyebrow, but you decided to ignore it. All of this already hit way too close to home.

“I don’t know,” Changgu commented, as he stuffed his cheeks with the last bite of his lunch. “I think it’d be kinda cute.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed.

“I think we should slowly get going,” Yuto disrupted the conversation with a glance at the clock on the wall. 

Wooseok nodded, stuffing his phone into his pocket before picking up his tray to leave. Hyunggu and Changgu followed along as well, leaving you behind with Shinwon and your best friend.

“Since we were already on the topic though,” she mumbled between forks of food. “Remember Hongseok?”

You looked at her questioningly. “Hongseok?”

“You know, the guy I wanted to introduce you to.”

You’d completely forgotten all about him.

“Oooh,” Shinwon grinned. “You want to set y/n up with him?”

“I mean, if nothing comes of it that’s fine too, I just thought they should at least meet. Don’t they have a lot in common?”

“Hm, I guess so,” he agreed.

“So, what about him?”

“Right,” your friend focused on you again. “He was really bummed out that you couldn’t meet at that party.” She sighed dramatically. “Just why did you have to leave so early?”

“Told you, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“I know, I know, it’s just a pity. Was such a good opportunity. Anyway,” she gesticulated with her fork as she spoke. “You’re still up for meeting him, right?”

Your mind wandered to Hyunggu and all the evenings you’d spent at his apartment. “I’m not sure…”

“C’mon y/n, I’m not asking you to marry him. It’s just a meeting. He’s a nice guy, I promise.”

“I just—I’m not really good at blind dates?”

“Then meet him casually,” Shinwon chimed in. “We hang out with him sometimes, you could just tag along.”

“Perfect,” your best friend decided for you, a wide grin on her face.

Without a proper reason to decline you just nodded slowly. Your friend was right anyway, it was just a meeting. 

Like so often over the past few weeks, you found yourself in Hyunggu’s apartment later that night. He seemed to be in a good mood, smiling as he pulled you into his lap.

“Never, hm?” He mumbled before his teeth nibbled at your neck teasingly. 

It took you a second to pick up what he was referring to, but then it clicked. “Well, what else was I supposed to say?”

“Mh-mhm, it’s fine.” He tilted his head to look up at you with a self-satisfied smirk. “It’s kinda hot that I’m the only one who knows this side of you.”

Hyunggu went back to his task of exploring your skin with his lips. “They’d be so shocked to see you like this,” he mumbled in between kisses and bites. “They really think you’re so innocent, it would shatter their world.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” you breathed out, but you couldn’t deny that his words did something to you. Maybe it wasn’t his words per se, but the fact that he was so turned on by all of this, by sharing this secret. It was nonsensical, but it made you feel just a little closer to him.

“If you say so." He flipped you over, making you land with your back on the mattress, his frame hovering above you. “Maybe Shinwon was right though.” 

He said this casually, his lips right back on your body. But you weren’t able to focus on that.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we should just date.” He left a kiss against your jaw.

You pushed at his shoulders, making him back off for a second. “What?”

“I mean, seems convenient, doesn’t it? We’re both single, we have good chemistry—”

“I don’t want to date out of convenience!” You frowned, not sure if you were angry with him for suggesting it, or yourself for getting your hopes up.

“Sorry, sweetheart, wasn’t aware you were such a romantic.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“Mh-mhm, not at all.” He smiled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck again. “Just hope you won’t find your perfect match too quickly. It’d be such a pity to end this so soon.”

Just as promised, your friend found a way for you to casually meet Hongseok, inviting you over for a dinner night at her flat. She’d offered to prepare the main dish, while everyone else was supposed to bring a little something. You’d opted for a bottle of wine, since you didn’t really have the time to prepare something yourself, and you just hoped that the others weren’t the same. You knew for a fact that Hyunggu would have brought wine if he was attending, but he couldn’t make it. Honestly, it worked in your favor. You didn’t really want to have your crush/friend with benefits present while your best friend tried setting you up with another guy. No, it was better not to have Hyunggu there, even if a part of you did want to see him.

When you arrived at your friend’s flat, (a little earlier since you knew she could probably use a hand with last minute preparations) she opened the door for you in a rush, her hair messy and napkins in her hand.

“Hey, y/n, hey,” she gave you a quick hug before she let you in, her eyes falling onto the bottle in your hand. “Oh, wine, perfect, can you bring it in the kitchen for now? And uh, maybe you can help setting the table, so I can get changed?” 

She was already bustling off again as she said so, yelling a “I’m sorry, I just had terrible time management today,” over her shoulder.

“No worries,” you chuckled, slipping out of your shoes and making your way  into the familiar flat. To your surprise, you heard clattering from the kitchen. Wondering if maybe Shinwon or Changgu had come early for some reason, you peeked your head through the door. The guy that stood in the kitchen though, wasn’t anyone you were familiar with.

“Uh, hi,” you awkwardly greeted, making him turn around.

He looked a little disheveled too, an apron around his neck, and some marinada on the light yellow rubber gloves he was wearing.

“Oh,” his eyes went wide when he saw you, before a smile  spread on his face. “Hi, we haven’t met before, have we? I’m Hongseok.” He reached out his hand to you, but then seemingly remembered the marinada and quickly pulled it back again. With clumsy movements he wrestled out of the tight gloves, setting them onto the counter. Before he held out his hand a second time, he wiped it on his apron, as if to make sure it was really clean. The whole scene was so awkward, you couldn’t help but chuckle. He was somewhat endearing.

“Hi,” you smiled and took his hand. “Y/n.”

He nodded, his gaze flickering between you and the floor, visibly flustered. “I was just,” he gestured  vaguely at the surroundings. “Helping with the cooking and all. She said she could use some help and I really like cooking so—,” Hongseok stopped himself from rambling further. “I helped with the cooking,” he repeated, a dorky smile on his face.

“You still need a hand with anything?”

“Ah, no, I’m basically done, I was just about to start cleaning up the mess a bit.”

“Okay, I’ll start setting the table then,” you briefly nodded at the table in the living room.

“Do you know where everything is? Like the dinnerware?”

You giggled. “Yeah, I’ve been here once or twice before.”

“Right,” he nodded, and then shook his head. “Actually, I don’t know why I asked. It’s my first time here, I don’t know where things are at all.”

“Don’t worry.” With a chuckle you made your way over to the cabinet.

“I’ve been thinking,” Hongseok mumbled while you took out the plates you knew your friend liked to use for dinner nights. “It’s a pity we missed each other at the party. I’ve been told a lot about you, so I was really looking forward to meeting you. I should have come a little earlier…” He scratched his neck.

You just stared at him, unsure how to respond. You couldn’t deny that his cute behavior made your heart flutter, if only a little bit.

“Anyway,” he chuckled awkwardly. “It’s good to meet you now, y/n.”

You nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

Soon after, your friend returned, fully dressed up and her hair in a neat ponytail. It was just on time before the others arrived, bringing some side dishes and desserts.

The dinner night was fun as always. Except for your friend and Shinwon, no one had known Hongseok prior, but he fit right in, joking around with everyone as if he’d long been part of the group. 

You too got along with him well. Once he wasn’t feeling so nervous anymore, conversation flowed pretty naturally, from music to movies to cafés either of you liked to visit. You understood now, why your friend had wanted to introduce the two of you—somehow you just clicked. If not anything more, you could at least picture yourself becoming friends with him. 

When you were heading to lunch a few days later, Hyunggu came jogging up to you, his class also just over.

“Hey,” he grinned and lightly nudged you in the side.

“Hey.”

There was a happy bounce in his step, almost as if he was dancing. It wasn’t anything unusual though. Hyunggu just was like that sometimes, full of appreciation for his surroundings and overjoyed by life itself. He’d said once that he falls in love with the world too easily. A part of you wished he could fall for you that easily too.

“Last class for today?” He asked, as you made your way down the hall.

“Yep.”

A grin spread on his face. “So let’s go home?”

You knew exactly what he was implying. “It’s noon.”

“And?”

“And I agreed to meet the others for lunch.”

“Hm,” he sighed, a small crease forming between his eyebrows before his expression lit up again. “Fine, let’s have lunch with everyone. I’ll take you home afterwards?”

You didn’t want to be so easy and get strung along in his pace every time. But saying ‘no’ just felt impossible, when he was smiling at you like that. Hyunggu  was simply too charming to resist.

“Okay.”

His smile turned even wider. “Okay.”

When you reached the cafeteria the others were already sitting at one of the tables, waving you over once they spotted you. Hongseok was sitting with them too, joking around with Shinwon, and you really felt as if he was a part of your group already. You sat down next to him, while Hyunggu plopped into the seat across from you. 

"Ah, you haven't met yet have you?" You glanced between the two of them.

"Hyunggu, right? I've seen you in the hallway before and we have a lecture together," Hongseok said bashfully.

Hyunggu had a polite smile on his face. "Literature class?"

"Yes. I'm Hongseok."

Hyunggu nodded before he got distracted by whatever nonsense Shinwon was talking about. Meanwhile, Hongseok turned to you.

"You know, that movie we talked about last time?" He took a giant bite of his food, his cheeks stuffed like a hamsters. "The sequel is supposed to air soon, have you heard?"

"Yes!" You nodded excitedly, happy to have someone who liked the franchise as much as you do. "I'll have to see it in the theater as soon as it comes out!"

"What are you talking about?" You hadn't noticed Hyunggu’s attention shifting back to you and turned to him in surprise.

"Ah, just a movie, do you know—," Hongseok started but you interrupted him with a chuckle, casually touching his upper arm.

"Don't even bother, Hongseok. He doesn't like it at all. I guess it's not artsy and pretentious enough."

You threw a teasing grin over at Hyunggu who frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He tilted his head. "And anyway, aren't you two awfully close for people who only just met recently?"

"They just click," your best friend chimed in with a grin. "A perfect match."

You saw from your peripheral vision how Hongseok nervously fidgeted with his fingers, and you quickly removed your hand to put some distance between the two of you.

"We just have similar interests," you quickly waved it off. "That's all."

Hyunggu still seemed a little skeptical but he let it be. After that, the conversations at the table went from this to that, not stopping at any topic for too long. In between, your eyes kept wandering to Hyunggu. Somehow he seemed a little off ever since you'd sat down with everyone but maybe he was just impatient to get home? Or maybe you were just imagining things. After all, you felt way too aware of the plans you had after this to really feel capable of making an objective call. You tried your best to focus on the conversations and not the charming bastard across from you. It almost worked. 

All in all, lunch was fun, really. Until Changgu brought up that stupid party again.

“By the way, Hongseok, did you hear about the Valentine’s party? Are you going?”

“I don’t really know,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t drink so—”

“Oh, don’t worry, that's fine,” Changgu immediately reassured. “Shinwon also doesn’t drink.”

“But still, shouldn’t you have a date for a Valentine’s day party?”

“Nah, don’t wo—”

“Y/n also doesn’t have a date,” Shinwon interrupted.

“Huh?” You stared at him with wide eyes before your gaze wandered to Hongseok who was visibly flustered.

Before you could say anything else about it though, Hyunggu got up and took his tray off the table.

“Sorry, guys, it’s getting kinda late, I should get going. You coming, y/n?”

Everyone’s gaze wandered to you in confusion.

“Y/n?” Wooseok repeated, as if he tried to put the pieces together. “Why?”

“Uh—,” you stuttered, your mouth feeling dry. You hadn’t expected Hyunggu to just put that out there. The two of you had always been pretty secretive so you thought you’d just sneak out after lunch. Then again, you were friends—there was nothing weird about driving home together, right? Right? So, why did it suddenly look like a big deal now?

“Y/n forgot their bus pass,” Hyunggu said smoothly. “I came by car, so I said I’d drive them.”

“Ah,” Wooseok nodded. “Makes sense.”

Changgu chuckled. “Right. You don’t usually hang out together much. Will you even have anything to talk about in the car?”

The smile on Hyunggu’s face didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I think we’ll be just fine.”

“What had you in such a hurry?” You asked once it was just the two of you. 

Hyunggu looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a smug smile. “What, you don’t look forward to our plans? Would you rather go back?”

You just rolled your eyes at him. It was probably your own fault for expecting a serious reply.

Maybe it was just your imagination, but when Hyunggu held you that day, he seemed to be just a little bit rougher with you than usual. His grip on your waist was strong as he pulled you close and his teeth grazed your skin in a way that was just on the right side of painful.

It wasn’t dark out yet and somehow that made the whole thing feel more intimate. You’d usually come to his place at night, when both of you were engulfed in darkness. But today he could see you, really see you, and he still wanted you anyway. He held onto you so tightly, as if he didn’t want to let you go again—or maybe that was just your wishful thinking.

“Stay a bit,” he whispered later, when you wanted to slip out from underneath his blanket.

“Why?”

He considered for a moment before a grin spread on his face. “It’s still early. Shouldn’t we make the most of the day?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Hm,” he hummed, nuzzling closer. “But you like that.”

If only he knew.

“Fine.” You let your head fall back into the pillow. 

Hyunggu’s arm snaked around your waist, his fingers drawing lazy patterns into your skin. 

“This is nice,” he mumbled, pressing small kisses into your shoulder. “Really nice.”

He propped himself up a little, hovering over you so his lips could continue their journey; from your shoulders to your collarbones and then further down.

“You know what I think?”

“Hm?” you hummed in response, enjoying the feeling of his mouth against your skin.

“I think instead of going to that party,” he whispered as his lips ghosted over your stomach, giving you goosebumps. “You should just come here.”

Your mind felt hazy and you could barely follow his words. “Should I?”

“Hm-hm.” He scooted further down, his head disappearing between your legs. 

“I think,” he paused to peck the skin of your inner thigh. “We could come up with something way more fun than a party, couldn’t we?”

You failed to give him a proper response, only a high pitched gasp leaving your throat, when you felt his mouth on you.

“Don’t you think?” He asked again, barely pulling away.

“Yeah, yes,” you nodded, your hands finding their way into his hair. “We could.”

You hadn't planned to spend the night at his place. But you'd been so tired and drowsy, you'd allowed yourself to rest your eyes for a moment before leaving. When you opened them again though, it was already the middle of the night, the sky outside his windows pitch black.

That was the moment you were supposed to slip out of his bed, you knew that well. After all, you'd made these rules for yourself.

But Hyunggu was sleeping so soundly next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist. You didn't want to leave. Just a little longer would be fine, right? It's not like he would know.

Your eyes fell shut again and you snuggled a little further into his embrace. A content sigh left his lips and he pulled you closer, making you wonder for a moment if he'd woken up after all. But his breathing was still deep and even; his eyes remained closed.

The next time you woke up, sunlight was streaming in through the windows, tickling your nose. You kept your eyes shut for a little longer, settling into the comfortable warmth of Hyunggu's embrace—

Hyunggu.

Your eyes flew open, heart beating way too fast in your chest.

You'd really done it now, you'd broken your own rules. This was bad. You had to get up and go home. You needed to change and get your things for class. What time was it even? Would you make it on time? You couldn't miss that lecture, your professor was really strict when it came to attendance. You felt your breathing grow fast and shallow and your fingers tingle with nerves. You had to go, you really had to go.

 Just when you wanted to wrestle yourself out of Hyunggu's arms, he gave you a little squeeze.

"You stayed," he mumbled, sounding sleepy but content.

You didn't have the nerve to wreck your mind over that right now though. 

Hyunggu seemed to notice that something was going on, because he propped himself up to look at you.

"What's wrong?"

You avoided his gaze.

"Are you worried about staying over? It's okay. I told you that I don't mind that, remember?"

You shook your head, feeling tears prick at your eyes that you tried to stop from spilling.

"No, it's just— I have to go, I have classes and I won't be on time and I need to wash up and get my things and—I wanted to go home, I should have just gone home."

"It's still early,  y/n." Hyunggus's voice was calm and soft. He gently cupped your face to make you look at him. "We have enough time, hm?"

"No, I—"

"I promise we have enough time, y/n. You don't have to worry about this. Just get washed up and I'll make us breakfast and then I'll drive you home so you can change and get your things, alright?"

When you nodded hesitantly, he smiled encouragingly before leaving a peck on your nose. 

"Now, let's get you washed up and well fed," he giggled and got up, holding out his hand to pull you up too.

Once the fresh water of the shower hit your skin and ran down your body, you felt a little more at ease. The situation was still overwhelming, but Hyunggu had assured you that it was going to be okay, for whatever that meant, and you wanted to believe him. You'd tackle all of this one step at a time.

For a while you just let the water wash over you before you turned it off to look for shampoo. He had a bunch of  products lined up neatly in the little shower caddy. All of them looked fancy and expensive and you found yourself wondering if it was really okay to use any of them.

Just when you'd decided to take the risk and started massaging one of his shampoos into your scalp (it smelled like rose and vanilla) there was a faint knock against the bathroom door.

You felt strangely caught, as if you'd done something forbidden.

"Is it okay if I come in for a second?" 

"Eh, sure." 

The door clicked open. You couldn't see him from behind the shower curtain but heard him step inside.

"I got you some clothes you can wear for now until we got you home. Also I forgot to say but feel free to use whatever. Though, I suppose you at least found the shampoo already." He chuckled to himself and you self consciously stared at the foam on your hands.

"There should be face wash too," he added and his voice seemed to get a little further away. "Breakfast is done soon but take your time."

With that the door closed behind him and you were alone again.

After washing up, you slipped into the clothes Hyunggu had laid out for you. You tried not to think too much about how much they smelled like him and you certainly didn't bury your nose in the collar of the hoodie, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent.

When you came into the kitchen Hyunggu had already set the table with coffee, orange juice and fresh toast. He stood at the counter, just then turning around to you, a small fruit plate in his hand.

"Cute," he exclaimed when he spotted you standing there in his clothes, his smile making creases form in the corners of his eyes.

Your face felt hot and you hoped he didn't notice as you sat down at his small kitchen table.

Just as promised he drove you home after breakfast and there was still enough time for you to get changed and pack your bag. You'd assured him that you could take the bus to college, but he'd insisted on waiting since he had the same destination anyway.

Not that long after, you found yourself at the parking lot, hesitating to get out. You knew you should—your class was starting soon and you didn't fancy running late. But something was stopping you.

"All good?" Hyunggu asked when you still showed no intention to move half a minute later.

"Uh, yes, yes, of course," you quickly stuttered, unbuckled your seat belt and opened the door a crack. "Was just lost in thought, is all."

He didn't look convinced but nodded. "Okay. Wanna ride with me after class too?"

"I don't—I don't really know, I think I should actually go home today."

Hyunggu chuckled. "Well, I can also actually drive you home?"

But why would you? asked a voice in your head, but you kept it to yourself. "You don't have to."

"I really don't mind, I'm driving anyway. I'll come get you after class?"

"...okay"

He hummed contentedly. "Okay."

You finally got out of the car, while Hyunggu fetched his phone and sunglasses from the case in the middle console. Just before you closed the door behind you to leave, you changed your mind, poking your head into the car once more.

"Hyunggu?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for today and uhm—" You swallowed. "For still being my friend, despite, you know, everything."

He stayed quiet for a moment, his eyes searching your face for something you couldn't name. But then he smiled. "Right. Friends. Of course we're still friends, y/n."

 To your surprise the person waiting for you after class wasn't Hyunggu. Instead, Hongseok was leaning against the wall across from the door, greeting you with a small wave when he spotted you.

"Hey," you smiled as you walked over to him. "Do you have your next class here?"

"Ah, no, I actually hoped to catch you. I just remembered you had this class and had a moment to spare—I hope this isn't weird, but I didn't have your number so…," he trailed off.

"No, don't worry, not weird. So, what's up?"

"Actually the airing times dropped today and I thought we could—" He interrupted himself with a frown. "I know we didn't actually make plans or agree to watch together but I just thought maybe…?"

You couldn't stop yourself from chuckling at the way he stumbled over his own words. "I'd love to go together. So, when's the first showing?"

He beamed at you, scrambling for his phone to show you the airing schedule on the screen.

You agreed on a time that worked for both of you, before you dived into theories about how the plotlines from the previous movie would continue and interweave. The whole time, Hongseok seemed so excited about this and his bright smile was infectious.

“Y/n.” 

Hyunggu’s voice next to you made you startle. You hadn’t noticed him walking up to you at all, but he was standing right next to you, his bag casually slung over his shoulder. He chuckled at the way you flinched. “Ah, hey, Hongseok.” Hyunggu’s gaze briefly wandered over to him, before his attention was on you again. “Ready to go?”

His hand ghosted over your lower back and even though you could barely call it a touch, your skin started tingling under his fingers.

“Sure, sure,” you replied, just a little too slowly. “Uhm, I’ll text you because of the movie, Hongseok.”

Hongseok nodded, but when you turned to leave, he called out your name again.

“Y/n? Uhm, you don’t have my number.”

“Right,” you laughed at your own stupidity and quickly exchanged numbers, while Hyunggu stood by with something that only distantly resembled a smile. 

“You’re going to see a movie with him?” Hyunggu asked on the way to the car.

“Yes!” you smiled, rambling about how glad you were that you didn’t have to go alone.

“You could have asked me.”

You eyed him questioningly. “We’re not exactly the kind of friends that go to the movies together, are we?”

“Why not? We could be.”

“Why? Just—because. And it’s not like you’d enjoy the movie anyway. I’d rather go with someone who is actually interested.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I guess so. Well, good for you. Just be careful not to break the poor guy's heart.”

You laughed, but it was more confusion than amusement. “What’s that mean?”

“I’m pretty sure he has a crush on you.”

“What, are you jealous?” You asked, regretting the question as soon as it was out. You didn’t want to hear the answer.

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow at you. “Right,” he said mockingly. “I’m jealous.”

You laughed it off, but all you could think was how much you wanted him to be. Not because jealousy was an attractive trait—it wasn’t. But it would have been nice to know he at least felt some kind of attachment.

Hyunggu was acting a little differently. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint it—on the surface everything seemed the same. He still teased you the same, making flirty remarks and all that. But somehow things just felt a little different. Like something was happening that you couldn’t quite understand.

It still bugged you when the day of your movie date with Hongseok rolled around, your thoughts constantly drifting back to Hyunggu. It didn’t help that he texted you that noon, asking if you wanted to come over later. When you told him you were going to the movies, he left you on read for quite a while, making you think he wouldn’t answer at all. And why would he? Since you’d declined his booty call, there wasn’t much else to say, was there? But then your phone buzzed with another message.

just come over afterwards ;)

For a moment, you really considered saying yes, and somehow you hated yourself for it. Wasn’t it rude to make such plans after meeting up with a friend? After all, weren’t you supposed to focus on the person you were meeting, instead of constantly waiting for the meeting to be over so you could meet someone else? That hardly seemed fair for Hongseok.

Despite the itch in your fingers to just type okay, you sent a different message instead.

—maybe another time :)

Hongseok greeted you with a wide smile when you walked up to him. His nose looked a little red from the cold.

“You didn’t wait too long, did you?”

He shook his head. “Not at all!”

You got yourself some drinks and snacks at the counter before heading inside. You’d reserved your seats beforehand, and luckily so, since the auditorium filled up quickly.

The movie was good, really. It was everything you’d anticipated and more. But you couldn’t enjoy it as much as you should have. Whenever Hongseok giggled at a funny scene, your mind unintentionally wandered to Hyunggu instead.  You had to think of his laugh; the way it sounded and how it made his eyes crinkle and how he pushed his chin forward a little when he was really, genuinely laughing. Somehow, despite being in a movie you’d looked forward to with a guy you liked, you wanted to be somewhere else instead. The exact thing that you’d wanted to avoid by declining Hyunggu’s invitation happened anyway. You really were a lost cause.

Once the movie was over, Hongseok offered to take you home or walk you to your bus stop, but you’d assured him that you were fine. After saying goodbye, you walked to the bus stop by yourself, fidgeting with your phone. It was a stupid idea. You should just go home and sleep and maybe your head would be a little clearer in  the morning. And yet—

—does the invitation still stand?

It admittedly wasn’t your proudest moment. You could imagine his cocky grin while reading your message all too well. But it was a little too late to worry about that now. It only took a few seconds for your phone screen to light up with a reply.

yeah 

“Guess your date wasn’t that satisfying, hm?” Hyunggu asked in lieu of a greeting when he opened the door for you.

You rolled your eyes at him but your voice had no real bite to it. “Shut up, Hyunggu. Not like you had any better plans either; probably just waited for my text all day,” you teased, trying to mask how embarrassed you were about all of this.

For a second he looked at you strangely, then stepped aside to let you in. “Sure,” he replied but the comeback was a little too delayed to sound smooth.

That night Hyunggu took his time with you. It almost felt as if he dragged it out on purpose, unwilling to let you go just yet. 

He had his arm wrapped around your waist afterwards, his forehead resting against the back of your neck. You didn’t know how to act; you weren’t used to this side of him. It’s not that you didn’t like it. You did. You so badly wanted to snuggle into his arms and bathe in his warmth. But it felt like you’d expose too much of yourself if you did just that. What if he’d realize your feelings? What if he’d be put off by that?

Your gaze fell on the alarm clock on his night stand. It had already been a little later when you’d arrived, and now it was way past midnight. If you wanted to catch the last bus, you needed to get going. But the silence felt so hard to disturb.

“Aren’t you clingy today?” You eventually asked, trying to make it sound light and teasing.

“I’m just tired,” he replied, his voice tickling the skin in your neck.

“Still, you’ll have to let me go. I need to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll miss the last bus?”

“No. Why are you leaving?”

You halted for a moment, feeling confused at the sudden question. “I’m always leaving.”

“Not always.” If you didn’t know better, you could have thought he sounded a little pouty. 

“That was different, I fell asleep.”

“So, fall asleep again.”

“I—,” you interrupted yourself, unsure what to say. You knew you shouldn’t indulge this, no matter how much you wanted to. You’d broken your rule once, but you shouldn’t let it become a habit.

Then again, had breaking it really been so bad? Essentially the consequences had been a shared breakfast and silky smooth hair that smelled like roses and vanilla—you should be able to handle that, right? So maybe one more night wouldn’t matter all that much? (You purposely ignored the little voice reminding you of your anxiety attack in the morning.)

“Okay,” you whispered so quietly it was barely audible. But Hyunggu heard it anyway.

“Okay,” he repeated with a light hum, pulling you closer.

This time, waking up in Hyunggu's embrace didn't give you a panic attack. And since it was the weekend, you didn't have to worry about classes either. 

You treasured the feeling of having Hyunggu close to you, unsure how much longer it would last. Careful not to disturb him, you turned around in his arms to face him. He looked peaceful, his breath coming in steady puffs. Looking at his sleeping form, you were once more reminded of just how pretty he was. Waking up with him like this almost let you trick yourself into thinking it was more than a friends with benefits arrangement after all.

You wanted to touch him, trace his features with your hands, count the little birthmarks on his face. But you didn't. Instead, you just watched him sleep, wondering if this moment of intimacy would end as soon as he woke up.

"Hey," he whispered when he blinked his eyes open, letting them fall shut again with a small smile.

"Hey."

His sleepy eyes opened once more, just for a moment before he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"You're pretty."

It was ironic that he'd say that, especially now, when he looked like an angel despite having only just woken up himself, while you probably looked terrible.

Still, it gave you butterflies.

"Don't say that," you whispered back.

"Why not?"

"We're not—say that to someone you're actually dating next time."

"Hm," he didn't sound convinced. "I told you that first night too, though. It doesn't really have anything to do with anything, does it? I'm just saying it because it's true."

You were lost at what to say to that, so you stayed quiet. Maybe to him it was really nothing but a meaningless compliment. But to you? It made your heart ache.

For a long time you just laid in his bed together, drifting in and out of sleep and snuggling into each other's warmth. It was already noon when Hyunggu mumbled a small “Breakfast?” into your skin.

You wanted to say yes, you really wanted to. But if you didn’t leave now, then when would you? Staying over was one thing but spending the whole day at his flat was a completely different matter.

“I think I should go home. It’s so late already.”

“But it’s the weekend.”

“Still, I still have so much to do for classes next week.”

“I see.” Hyunggu’s voice sounded more reserved than before and you hated everything about it. He let go of you, sitting up in bed and fishing his hoodie from the floor to slip it on. “Want me to drive you home?” 

You quickly shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll take the bus.”

This time, he didn’t insist on driving you. Instead he said goodbye at his doorstep, a tired smile on his face, telling you he’d see you on monday.

You tried not to overthink the happenings of the weekend, but that was easier said than done. The way Hyunggu was so sweet with you in one second and then oddly distant the next drove you crazy. You kept feeling as if you’d done something wrong, but you didn’t know what. You’d tried so hard not to cross any lines. You’d kept your expectations of this arrangement low, because you didn’t want to pressure him or make him uncomfortable. But now it felt like that in itself might have been wrong as well?

It didn’t help that you didn’t really get a moment alone with Hyunggu in the following days. He acted like usual with everyone around, but you weren’t sure if that would still be the case if it was just the two of you?

You were still thinking about it at lunch on Wednesday. Your best friend was telling you some story about one of her classes and you tried your best to listen, but it wasn’t really working. 

You zoned out a little, not really taking notice of anything around you, until Changgu’s voice at the other side of the table caught your attention.

“Hyunggu! Did you finally decide?”

 The man in question sounded slightly confused. “On what?”

“The party on Friday. You said you didn’t know yet, but you’re coming, right?”

You stared at your food, but your whole focus was on that conversation. Hyunggu’s words from back then were ringing in your mind. I think instead of going to that party you should just come here. 

“Hm, it does sound fun, but—” 

Ouch.

“But?”

You lifted your gaze, just to find Hyunggu looking at you already before he turned back to Changgu.

“But I actually have other plans for that day already.”

Changgu sighed dramatically and shook his head, complaining about it all, but you barely paid it any mind. Hyunggu had said he had plans. Was he referring to you? Was he serious about spending Valentine’s Day with you? He hadn’t mentioned it again after that day, but you couldn’t help having your hopes up.

When you ran into Hongseok in the hallway later that day and he shyly asked you if you were going to the Valentine’s party, you declined. 

Hongseok’s disappointed face made you feel a little sorry, but maybe it was for the best this way, even more so if Hyunggu was right and Hongseok was actually crushing on you. Your main reason to say no was a different one though. It was stupid, Hyunggu hadn’t contacted you again so you had no way to be sure that you actually had plans on Friday. But if there was just the slightest chance, you simply couldn’t let it slip past.

Your fingers were itching with the urge to text Hyunggu and just ask him about it. But you couldn’t, not without looking pushy or desperate. So you forced yourself to wait, hoping to catch him alone, hoping for him to give you some kind of sign. It didn’t happen on Wednesday and neither did it on Thursday. So by Friday morning, you felt you were slowly but surely going insane. Maybe you’d fantasized all of that up? Maybe he’d never invited you over or maybe it was just something he'd said mindlessly? Words said during sex shouldn’t be trusted anyway.

By noon you’d given up and accepted that you’d spend the evening by yourself, watching some sad sappy movies on your couch.

But then, while you were sitting in the cafeteria, having lunch with everyone, your phone lit up with a message.

so when r u coming over?

You glanced up from your phone to find Hyunggu cocking his head at you, one eyebrow raised.

You hated that he didn’t even question that you would come over at all. He wasn’t wrong, though. Of course you would. But after leaving you wondering for so long, maybe you could also leave him hanging just a little longer.

You shrugged at him, the movement so low-key it was barely visible, before you locked your phone and turned your attention back to the others.

Even from your peripheral vision you could see the small frown on his face, but it didn’t stay long.

playing hard to get?

You rolled your eyes.

hm?

You still felt his eyes on you. You wanted to play this game just a little longer, convince him or maybe just yourself that you had the upper hand for once. But you didn’t.

—i have one more class after lunch

A satisfied smirk appeared on Hyunggu’s face.

i’ll come get u afterwards

It wasn’t the first time that you drove home with Hyunggu this early during the day but it felt bigger now—it was Valentine’s after all. Going to his place late at night for a booty call? Sure. But spending the whole afternoon together? That kinda felt like a big deal. Still, you reminded yourself not to expect anything. It was just about sex.

At his place, Hyunggu helped you out of your jacket before slipping away into the kitchen. You took off your shoes before you followed behind to find Hyunggu getting out two wine glasses from the cabinet.

You looked at him questioningly. ���Wine? Isn’t it a little early?”

He set a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon on the counter and grinned at you playfully. “It’s a special occasion, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” you replied with a grin, trying to return his banter as effortlessly as possible. But you couldn’t deny his words got your hopes up, just a little.

You watched the way his slender fingers moved around the corkscrew, opening the bottle with ease before he poured the wine.

“There you go.” 

He pushed one of the glasses over the counter towards you with a smooth movement—or so you thought. But the glass lost balance and tipped towards you. He hastily grabbed it to keep it from toppling over, but a bit of the red liquid had already spilled, staining the sleeve of your shirt.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. We can wash it.” He quickly snatched some tissues and wiped the spilled wine off the table.

“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.”

When Hyunggu noticed you weren’t angry, his expression turned to a cheeky smile. His eyes wandered from your face to your shirt and back up. 

“Well, I wanted to take that off later anyway.” He poked out his tongue and you hated how unbelievably charming it was.

You wanted to be annoyed at the stupid remark but you felt your cheeks heat up. In order to distract yourself or maybe just have something to blame it on, you raised your glass to your lips. Before you could drink though, you felt Hyunggu’s hand on yours, stopping you from drinking.

“No toast?” 

“Right,” you quickly resigned, holding out your glass to him without meeting his eyes, too afraid he’d notice your flustered state. 

But Hyunggu wasn’t having that. “You know, you’re supposed to look at people when you toast.”

“I didn’t know you valued these things.”

“It’s just polite. Besides,” he leaned in further over the counter and moved his hand to your chin, making you meet his gaze. “In Europe they say you get seven years of bad luck if you don’t.”

“Do they now?”

He raised his glass and carefully clinked it against yours, not breaking eye contact even when he took the first sip of his wine. “Not quite.”

You took a sip too. The wine tasted bold and rich on your tongue. “So, what do they say?”

“That you’ll have to suffer through seven years of bad sex. But that’s basically the same, isn’t it?” He raised his glass to his lips again but then halted in his movement. “Then again, I guess bad sex isn’t really something you have to worry about. You’re in good hands after all.”

He winked at you, a smug smile on his lips. You hated it so much. You wanted to kiss it right off his face.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to land in his bedroom, your stained shirt discarded somewhere along the way, your bodies sinking onto his mattress. At this point everything about this felt so familiar; you’d been in this bed countless times already, had been embraced by these arms and touched by these hands.

Hyunggu went slow. His every move was full of intent and you suddenly realized that you weren’t the only one who’d gotten familiar with all of this. He’d explored every inch of your body a zillion times and had taken the time to remember your reactions. He’d gotten to know you. 

He was right, your body was in good hands, even if your heart wasn’t.

Hyunggu had his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t asleep. You were laying on his chest, absentmindedly tracing the tattoo on his collar bone. Your fingers almost automatically followed the fragile branches spanning his skin and you didn’t even notice you were doing it until he chuckled softly.

He blinked one eye open to look at you. “Having fun?” 

You quickly drew back your hand, feeling caught, but Hyunggu just hummed letting his eyes fall shut again. 

“I don’t mind though,” he mumbled, his voice a little hoarse.

For a moment you did nothing, just watching his facial features. He looked at ease. Hesitantly, you reached out your hand again, your fingertips finding their way back to his warm skin.

“It’s pretty.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“Is there a meaning behind it?”

“Are you curious?”

“Maybe.”

Hyunggu opened his eyes again, looking at you with an unreadable expression. “That’s a first.”

“What do you mean?”

“That you’re curious about me. That you’re asking about me.”

Was it really? You couldn’t quite remember. Maybe you’d been too scared of showing your feelings to ever really ask him anything. You wondered what kind of impression it must have left on him. Of course, you didn’t want him to know you were in love with him. But you didn’t want him to think you didn’t like him at all either.

Before you could say anything in return though, your stomach started rumbling. Embarrassment washed over you and you tried to make it shut up by pure power of will but it wasn’t working.

Hyunggu laughed. It was the kind of laugh you adored so much, showing off his teeth and having his eyes almost closed. 

“Maybe we should have dinner?” He asked, still a delightful glint in his expression.

He slipped into some clothes and then got out sweatpants and a shirt from his closet for you to wear. On his way out of the bedroom, he gathered your clothes from the floor to throw them into the washing machine.

After dressing yourself (and absolutely not breathing in the scent of his clothes like some maniac) you followed him out. You couldn’t spot him in the combined kitchen and living room, but the door to the bathroom was left ajar and the light was on.

You sat on the couch, your legs pulled up to your chest, waiting for him to come back. 

“Wanna order something?” He yelled from the bathroom, some beeping noises in the background that you assumed belonged to the buttons of the washing machine.

“Sure.”

“Pizza?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

You heard the washing programme starting and seconds later Hyunggu came out of the bathroom, smiling when he spotted you on the couch. He sat down next to you, pulling out his phone to look up the options. Once he’d opened the menu, he inched even closer so you could take a look onto the small screen as well. It was stupid—you’d shared something way more intimate not even fifteen minutes ago. And yet, the way his shoulder was touching yours made you feel giddy.

Hyunggu turned on some music to run in the background while you waited for your food to arrive. He easily made conversation, talking about this and that, as if you were just two friends hanging out and not whatever else you actually were.

Once the food arrived, he got the rest of the wine and your glasses from the kitchen counter. It felt like a bit of an odd combination to drink his fancy wine with pizza slices that you ate directly from the box, but you kinda liked it. You couldn’t quite place it but there was just something about that moment, about sitting on his couch having cheap delivery and expensive wine and talking about everything and nothing at all—it made your chest feel warm and content. 

“Here, try some of mine,” Hyunggu said after a while, putting a slice of his pizza into your box.

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” He grinned. “Now, let me have some of yours too.” 

“So that’s what you were after from the start?”

He looked at you with big eyes and a playful pout. “But sharing is caring?”

“Fine.” With a chuckle, you picked up one of your pizza slices to place it in his box. But when you looked up again, he was leaning in, his eyes closed and his mouth opened wide. You hated how cute he looked. You almost wanted to take a picture.

You pulled yourself together though, holding out the pizza for him to take a bite. He munched on it gleefully, looking utterly satisfied. It was really bad for your heart.

When you were done eating, the washing program had finished too, so Hyunggu went to put the clothes into the tumble dryer. Once he returned, he set aside the empty pizza boxes and poured each of you another glass of wine. You were starting to feel the buzz, but it was a pleasant feeling. You leaned your head against the back of the couch, watching him move. He was really gorgeous with his soft hair and slender hands and—

“You’re really that handsome, huh? But I guess you know that,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him.

He turned his head to you, something between amusement and confusion on his face. “Are you drunk, y/n?”

“Maybe a little tipsy.” You giggled, suddenly recalling that first night at that party. “But I know a pretty thing when I see one.”

It seemed to take him a second to grasp what you were doing, but when he did he shook his head in feigned disbelief. “Are you making fun of me?”

“I would never.”

He set the wine bottle aside and moved closer to you, resting one hand against the back of the sofa to cage you in. A teasing grin was playing on his lips. “Careful, y/n, you’re skating on thin ice.”

Your heart was beating like crazy in your chest, and yet you couldn’t suppress another giggle. “Am I?”

“Very much.” His gaze flickered to your lips before it returned to your eyes. You were suddenly painfully aware again that he’d never kissed you, not after that first night together, not on your lips. But god, you wanted him to. You wanted it so badly.

Without thinking you rushed in, closing the gap, your hands instinctively finding their way around his neck. You didn’t waste another thought on hiding your feelings or whatever you’d been worried about all this time. You needed this. You kissed him as if you were starved, barely able to catch a breath in between. But he didn’t push you away. Instead he cupped your face with his free hand, pulling you even closer, as if he’d needed this just as much.

When you finally parted, you felt breathless. You looked into his dark eyes, searching for something but you weren’t quite sure what. He seemed just as disheveled as you, but he caught himself quickly, pushing back the messy strands of hair that were falling into his forehead and exchanging his surprised expression for a smirk.

“Didn’t see that coming.”

You felt unsure. Had you misinterpreted his gaze and overstepped after all? But he reciprocated, didn’t he?

“Really?” You asked, trying not to sound shaken up. 

He shrugged. “I just thought you’d rather not kiss.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I suppose for the same reason you preferred to go home at night. Keeping things strictly business?”

He tried to make it sound like a casual joke and yet it somehow irked you. You knew well what kind of arrangement this was and that you were being overly sensitive, but calling it business just hurt. 

Your discontent must have been visible on your face, because Hyunggu’s expression immediately softened. He cupped your cheeks with both hands and smiled comfortingly. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought—I thought that’s how you see it.”

“Still,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Yeah,” he hugged you against his chest, caressing your hair. “I’m sorry.”

He let himself sink back into the couch pillows, pulling you with him to rest your head in the crook of his neck. For a while you laid there just like that, nestled up against each other. His embrace felt warm and comforting and bitter sweet, because you knew you’d eventually have to let go. Except for the sound of his breathing and the steady tumbling of the laundry dryer it was silent. Just a little longer, you kept telling yourself but you weren’t sure for how much longer you were allowed. You were lying in his arms, but you already missed him.

Eventually, the steady rhythm of the laundry dryer stopped and you heard the faint beeping noise telling you the programme had finished. Maybe this was the moment to go? It was already late anyway, wasn’t it?

You lifted your head to look at him. At the movement, he opened his eyes.

“The laundry’s done,” you whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Should I leave?”

He eyed you for a moment. “Do you want to?”

No. But was it okay to say that? 

You swallowed. “I don’t know.” 

“Then I guess you’ll have to stay until you make up your mind.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

He let his eyelids close again. “Because it is.” 

You weren’t so sure about that, but you didn’t argue. Instead you tugged your face into the crook of his neck again, taking in his scent and listening to the sound of his breathing.

At some point you must have fallen asleep, because you woke up to the pattering of raindrops against the windows. It had gotten colder or maybe the warmth that had come with the slight buzz of the wine had just worn off. You snuggled closer to Hyunggu, trying to get some of his warmth.

You’d thought that he was asleep too, but when you moved he pulled you in more, his hands running over your arms to keep you warm.

“Are you cold?”

“Mhm.” You nodded.

“Let’s go to bed?”

He’d invited you to his bed before, but never like this. Not without expectations. There was no other meaning to that question, no hidden intention in his voice.  It almost scared you a little.

Still, you nodded and reluctantly got up. You stood by the couch and waited awkwardly while Hyunggu turned off the lights in the living room. Of course you knew your way around his flat, but just going to his bedroom by yourself made you feel self conscious. Probably noticing your awkward behavior, Hyunggu took your hand and gently pulled you with him. He got into his bed and opened his arms for you, as if it was a given that you’d settle into his embrace. You did. Hyunggu pulled up the blanket around both of you and rested his chin on the crown of your hair.

“Sleep well, y/n.”

“You too.”

You’d woken up in Hyunggu’s arms so often by now, you'd almost gotten used to it. Almost. Somehow, despite the familiarity it still had the butterflies in your stomach acting up. 

Hyunggu was still asleep beside you, his arm wrapped around your waist. You reached for your phone on the nightstand, careful not to wake him up in the process. There were some messages from Hongseok and then a bunch of notifications in the group chat, from messages about when and where to meet up, to the one or the other sent in the middle of the night, when the party had already been in full swing. The Valentine’s party. Somehow it sunk in now, that you’d basically spent the whole day with Hyunggu. Instead of going to that party he went to every year, he’d met up with you. On Valentine’s day. Sure, you supposed it had been convenient for him. Why go to a party and find someone to hook up with, when he already had someone at his every beck and call? But you didn’t just have sex. You had spent the day together, drinking wine, having dinner, talking, cuddling… Was this all still part of that whole friends with benefits arrangement? Or was it more? Or was Hyunggu just somehow trying to keep the friends part of it alive as well? You weren’t sure. You didn’t dare to hope for more and yet every time you met him, you were left more confused than before.

To distract yourself, you opened the messages from Hongseok. He’d sent them around midnight and you wondered if he’d been drunk.

The party is fun :) It’s sad that you couldn’t make it :) 

And then, like an hour later:

it’D be more fun wit hyou here

You had to chuckle to yourself. He’d surely feel embarrassed about these when he’d wake up today.

Just when you were thinking about what to reply to Hongseok, Hyunggu stirred awake. 

“Did we miss anything?” He asked, when he spotted the phone in your hand.

You shrugged. “Seems they had a good time yesterday. Wooseok and Yuto went too actually. And apparently Changgu got lost in between, but Shinwon found him later comforting some girl that got cheated on or something—I think we should ask them in person next time.”

Hyunggu chuckled at your brief summary of what you’ve picked up on from the messages in the groupchat. “Maybe we should.” 

He nuzzled into your neck while you started typing out a message.

“Are you replying to them?”

“Hm? Ah, no, I’m texting Hongseok.”

You weren’t sure if it was your imagination, but you thought you felt him tense up a little.

“What’s he saying?”

“He just said it was fun and that it was a pity I didn’t go.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think it’s a pity?”

You would have expected him to have a smirk on his lips, but when you turned to face him you were met with an oddly serious gaze.

“No,” you answered genuinely, feeling that it wasn’t the right time to tease him.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “No?”

“No.” You paused for a moment. “And you?”

His smile grew wider now. “Not at all.”

He brushed his nose against the skin below your ear. “In fact, I enjoyed yesterday so much, I wouldn’t mind continuing.”

His breath felt ticklish, making you giggle. “Is that so?”

“Mhm.” He left kisses on your skin while his hands found the way to your hips, thumbs brushing over the bare skin under the hem of your (his) shirt. “Doesn’t that sound like a really good idea?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah,” he hummed. “We’ve established that before. And that you like it, too.”

“I wish I didn’t,” you replied, maybe drawing just a little too close to the truth.

You felt his laugh against your skin. “Well, I’m glad you do.”

He pushed up the fabric of your shirt, exposing your skin just to cover it with bites and kisses a second later. Your fingers latched onto his hair, like they’d done so many times before, burying themselves in the dark strands. When one of his hands dipped under the waistband of the sweatpants you were wearing, you couldn’t suppress the gasp escaping your throat. Your fingers instinctively tightened their grip on his hair, earning you a satisfied hum. 

“I like when you wear my clothes,” he whispered into your skin, a smug grin on his lips. “But let’s get these off, hm?”

You still hadn’t left his bed at noon, your head tucked into his neck while you were bathing in the afterglow. 

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” You mumbled after a while, no real intention behind the question.

“I guess so.”

“Maybe we should get up?”

“Maybe.”

“Can I borrow your shower?”

“Depends,” he grinned teasingly. “Can I join you?”

You shook your head with a chuckle. “Are you never satisfied?”

“Is that a no?”

“I’m tired. Maybe another time.”

“Hm,” he hummed in reply, no trace of disappointment in his voice. “We can also take a bath instead?”

You propped yourself up to look at him properly, searching his eyes for any kind of mischief. “No hidden intentions?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Unless having an excuse to use that lavender bath salt I got recently falls under hidden intentions.”

You examined him a second longer, not quite sure if you could trust his words but then you nodded. “Okay.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

He told you to wait while he slipped out of bed and ran the bath. You weren’t left to your own devices for long though; Hyunggu soon returned humming happily. He wrapped you into a fuzzy white bathrobe that you’d spotted in his bathroom before, and pushed you through the door.

The bathroom smelled like lavender and chamomile and steam was rising up from the tub. Hyunggu had turned on some soft jazz mix that was coming out of the little speaker he’d set onto his washing machine. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his choice of music.

“You’re such a snob, you know that, right?”

He didn’t seem offended at all. “It’s called creating ambience.”

You slipped out of the bathrobe and into the warm water. You didn’t give your body the time to adjust to the temperature before you sat down, in order to feel a little less exposed. The heat pricked at your skin, but it was bearable. Hyunggu took off his clothes too and you pulled your legs closer to your chest to make space for him. Instead of sitting across from you though, he got in behind you. His arms found your shoulders and pushed them back gently, making you rest against his chest.

You closed your eyes, letting the warm water relax your tired limbs. You’d made fun of his music earlier, but the calming melodies honestly weren’t so bad.

“This is nice,” you commented after a while.

Hyunggu chuckled and you felt the vibration against your back. “Taking a bath?”

“That too. But I meant the music.”

“And here you were calling me a snob not even ten minutes ago.” He didn’t actually sound annoyed with you.

“My apologies.”

“It’s one of my favorite artists. The song before was his too.”

“Mhm, I can see why you like him. His music is good.”

For a moment you just listened to the soft tunes before Hyunggu spoke up again.

“He’ll actually have a concert here soon.”

“Oh, are you going?”

“I was planning to.”

You could picture Hyunggu at that concert so well, getting lost in the music and probably rambling on and on about how inspiring it was afterwards. Just thinking about it made you feel a little jealous of whoever would get to see that side of him.

It got quiet again, but then Hyunggu broke the silence once more. His voice sounded just a little tense when he did. “You can come along?” 

“Huh?”

“You said you liked the music. So I thought maybe you’d want to come along?”

“I—,” you swallowed, a little overwhelmed and surprised by the sudden invitation. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

He hummed in reply, and you thought you heard a smile in his voice. “Cool.”

During lunch on Monday, the other’s filled you in on the party shenanigans and it sounded like they really did have a lot of fun. For a brief moment you wondered if you should have gone after all, but then you remembered where you’d been instead and discarded the thought. No matter how  fun it'd been, could it really have been better than waking up with Hyunggu? You had your doubts.

“Kinda interesting though,” Changgu said after a while, his gaze wandering between you and Hyunggu conspiratorially. “That neither of you showed at the party. If I didn’t know better, I could have almost thought the two of you had been on a Valentine’s date.”

You felt your breath get stuck in your throat, trying to cram out some believable excuse, but your mind was wiped blank. In your panic, your gaze shot over to Hyunggu, sending out a silent cry for help, but he didn’t seem as worried.

Just when you wanted to say something after all, Changgu broke out laughing. “Seriously, that’d be such a funny turn of events. Jokes aside though, it’s a pity you didn’t come.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled awkwardly. “Seems like we really missed out.”

You thought you felt someone’s gaze on you, but you ignored it, grateful when the topic was changed and you were out of the woods.

When you walked across the campus to get to your next lecture after lunch, Hongseok came jogging up next to you.

“Y/n.”

“Oh, you also go this way? Sorry I didn’t know, I would have waited up on you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by a thoughtful frown. “I probably shouldn’t ask this but uhm—Changgu was right, wasn’t he?”

“What do you mean?”

“The reason you missed the party.”

You forced out a laugh, ready to wave him off but when you saw the way he looked at you with so much sincerity, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie. 

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

It was clear he’d expected to be right, but he still seemed a little disappointed. “I wouldn’t. But—are you dating?”

You avoided his gaze. The question hurt. You’d been in a good mood all morning, almost like you were walking on clouds. The weekend had been pretty close to perfect after all, letting you dwell on delusions of love and romance. Now you were suddenly confronted with reality again. The reality where you could fall asleep and wake up and take a bath with Hyunggu all you wanted, but none of that meant anything. Because at the end of the day you weren’t dating. He wasn’t in love with you.

You felt something akin to shame bubble up inside of you when you replied. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

Hongseok nodded slowly. “I see. Just—don’t get hurt.”

When you met his eyes then, there was something consoling in them and it made your heart feel heavy. You knew he meant it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” He awkwardly patted your upper arm, before nodding towards one of the buildings on campus. “My class is over there so I’ll get going. See you around?”

“See you around.”

Hongseok’s words kept circling in your mind like a constant warning. It was already too late for that though. You should have never agreed to any of this, but it wasn’t like you could just undo it.  You were already in this mess, having left behind every border you’d ever created. And now that you knew what it felt like to have Hyunggu this close, you couldn’t bring yourself to create distance again.

Yet, the odd feeling in your stomach wouldn’t leave. It was one thing to know yourself, that you were setting yourself up to get your heart broken. It was different to have someone else tell you.

It was still there on the day of the concert. You pushed it aside as best as you could, focusing on getting ready instead. You kept yourself busy, changing your outfit about a zillion times, just to go back to your first choice in the end. You’d never been to a jazz concert before so you were just hoping that you weren’t over- nor underdressed. Before you had the time to worry your head about it more, you received a text from Hyunggu, telling you that he was waiting for you downstairs.

He was sitting in his car, scrolling through his phone. When you opened the passenger door he looked up at you with a dazzling smile, nudging the black framed glasses on his nose into place.

“Hey, y/n.” 

“Hey.” You let yourself fall into the passenger’s seat.

“You look good.” He started the engine of his car, turning his head to look out the rear window while he backed out of the parking lot.

You swallowed, reminding yourself not to get into your head about this. “Right back at you.”

He huffed a laugh. “Thanks.”

The ride to the venue was relaxed, soft music coming from the speakers that Hyunggu couldn’t help but hum along to. Whenever he stopped at a redlight he started doing tiny little dance moves in his seat, glancing over to you to prompt you to follow along. It was impossible to resist him, when he was looking at you like that, so you let yourself be swept along with a giggle. Momentarily you forgot all about your worries, allowing yourself to just indulge in the moment and feel happy.

The concert was in a small brick-lined hall, maybe an old factory building. It was dimly illuminated by old-fashioned light bulbs and decked out with small round tables and mismatched wooden chairs.

Hyunggu pulled you along to a table close to the stage, before getting drinks for both of you. He’d asked if you wanted wine, but since he wasn’t going to drink himself you would have felt weird. So, instead he soon returned with two glasses of ice tea, prettily arranged with mint leaves and lemon slices.

The two of you talked a little, but as soon as the artist appeared, you got quiet, focusing on the stage. Or at least Hyunggu was focusing on the stage. You couldn’t help yourself, your gaze kept wandering over to him. He got so immersed in the music, watching the performance  in awe  and swaying along to the melodies. It was exactly what you’d pictured, but at the same time it was so much more. The music was good and you enjoyed the concert, but what you enjoyed most was being able to see Hyunggu like this. 

On the way back to his car, Hyunggu was bubbling with energy, cheerfully rambling about how good the concert was. He kept gesturing as he talked, turning around to you excitedly in between. He seemed so happy and content and getting to witness that made your heart feel so full, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it’d just bursted.

He was still talking on the ride, but you didn’t mind. You liked to hear him point out small details that had completely gone past you. Time seemed to be rushing by and before you knew it you were suddenly in the parking lot in front of your apartment complex. Somehow you felt disappointed. You hadn’t really talked about anything beforehand, but a part of you had just assumed he’d take you back to his place. But of course, this hadn’t been a date nor were you here as his friend with benefits either. Just as a friend.

You sat in the passenger seat, not moving. Your eyes were fixed on the dark street outside the windshield. You knew it was time to get up and leave. Thank him for the nice evening and tell him you’d see him at lunch or something.

But you didn’t want to go.

“Everything okay?” Hyunggu asked eventually. You felt his gaze on you.

“Yeah, just—Do you maybe—,” You cleared your throat before you turned around to face him. “Do you want to come in for a bit?”

Hyunggu looked genuinely surprised at your proposition and you were so close to take it back, tell him to forget about it all and flee the scene.

“Are you sure?” He asked, interrupting your thoughts of escaping. His eyes were searching your face, as if to figure out if you really meant it.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

The way up to your apartment was oddly quiet. You’d always been nervous about being with Hyunggu, but somehow this was different. You didn’t just invite anyone into your home. And you’d made that rule for yourself not to invite Hyunggu specifically. Yet, you were leading him up the stairwells to your tiny, chaotic studio apartment. 

Your hand was trembling when you typed in the code to unlock your door. You got it wrong twice, causing the lock to make a small buzzing noise and blink in red, which  did nothing to ease your nerves.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, laughing awkwardly. “Don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“Don’t worry,” Hyunggu’s voice was gentle. If he’d noticed your shaking hands he didn’t say anything. “Take your time.”

The door finally unlocked on the third attempt and you stepped inside. You didn’t mind the way you lived all that much, but somehow showing your home to Hyunggu made you feel vulnerable. It wasn’t as big and neat as his apartment and you wondered what he’d think about it. You were overcome with the urge to apologize for it, the size, the mess, everything. But when you turned around to Hyunggu, he was looking around in wonder, a small smile on his lips.

“I like your flat.”

“Huh?”

He hummed. “It feels really you.”

“Thank you.”

“No,” he grinned, his eyes settling on you instead. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you quickly looked away. “Do you uhm—do you want to have some wine? I think I still have some…”

“Are you sure you’re okay with me drinking?”

You turned to him in confusion. He stepped a little closer, invading your personal space. 

“You know—” He let his fingers ghost over your jaw. “I won’t be able to drive back tonight if I drink now. Are you okay with that?”

You swallowed. Your mouth felt impossibly dry. “Yeah,” you choked out. “That’s fine.”

Hyunggu smiled, leaning in even closer until his lips brushed against your temple. “I’d love some wine then.”

With hasty movements you stumbled to your small kitchenette, getting the bottle of wine and two glasses from the cupboard. Hyunggu watched you in silent amusement and you were overly aware of his eyes on you.

You fumbled with the corkscrew but somehow things wouldn’t go your way. It kept slipping and with every second you grew more nervous about all of this. How stupid, really. You’d been with Hyunggu so often already, so why couldn’t you calm down now?

You suddenly felt him step behind you, his fingers wrapping around yours to stop your clumsy movements. 

“Let me?” He gently took the bottle and the corkscrew out of your hands. “How about you turn on some music in the meantime, hm?” 

His voice was so close to your ear, it sent shivers down your spine. You nodded, letting him handle the wine while you got out your speaker and turned on a playlist you thought Hyunggu would enjoy.

Unlike you, Hyunggu didn’t struggle to uncork the bottle and smoothly poured both of you wine. 

“There you go.” He handed you one of the glasses before holding out his own for a toast. His dark eyes on you made you want to look away, but you didn’t. Instead, you held his gaze as you clinked your glasses together and took a sip of the red liquid.

“Not avoiding eye contact this time, I see?” 

You shrugged, trying not to sound too nervous. “Didn’t want to risk anything after what you said last time.”

“Very wise.” He cocked his head, stepping a little closer.

He raised his glass to take another sip of his wine and your eyes automatically followed the movement. You couldn’t tear your gaze away, even when he lowered his glass again, his tongue darting out to lick at the corner of his lips.

Hyunggu grinned when he noticed your stare. “You offered the wine, but why do I feel like you’d rather skip the drinks?”

Feeling caught, you quickly looked away and took a big sip from your glass. You might have been a little too hasty though, choking on the wine and coughing awkwardly.

“Hey, take it slow.” With a smooth movement, Hyunggu took your glass away and set both drinks onto the kitchen counter. He  cupped your face, his eyes on your lips as his thumb brushed over them. “We have all night, don’t we?”

You felt like choking all over again. 

“Yeah.” Your gaze wandered to his mouth. You leaned in a little, thinking Hyunggu would close the gap between the two of you. When he didn’t you pulled back again, looking up to his eyes with uncertainty. Hyunggu let out a small chuckle, clearly amused by your shakiness. 

You frowned. “Don’t tease—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Hyunggu pulled you in, brushing his lips against yours softly before he deepened the kiss. It was all you could do to melt into him, your hands clinging onto the fabric of his shirt.

He grinned, briefly breaking the kiss. “Eager, aren’t we?”

“Shut up.”

Hyunggu laughed, slowly walking you backwards until you stumbled into the edge of your bed and fell onto the mattress. 

“Make me.” He raised his eyebrows, a challenging gleam in his eyes.

You hesitated for a second, just looking at him. But then you reached out, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him down with you and crushing your lips together.

Having Hyunggu in your bed was weird. It didn’t feel real to have him there, his head resting on your pillows. You couldn’t stop staring at him, trying to ingrain this moment into your memories.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No, nothing.”

“Hm,” he smiled. “Thank you for today.”

“Since when are we saying thank you?”

Hyunggu laughed, shaking his head. “Not for that. Though,” he threw you a cheeky wink, “I’m grateful for that too.”

He inched a little closer, his nose lightly brushing yours. “I meant the concert. Thank you for coming to the concert with me.”

“No. Thank you for taking me.” You halted for a moment, wondering if you were overstepping, but then you continued anyway. “We should do these kinds of things more often.”

“So, concerts are okay, but movies aren’t?” His voice sounded teasing, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a little hurt in there too.

“Maybe I was wrong.”

“Mhm,” his lips ghosted over yours. “I think so too.”

You just cuddled for a while, your lips coming together in lazy kisses from time to time, your legs intertwined under the blankets.

“You think I could borrow your shower?” He eventually broke the silence.

“Uh—I mean sure—”

He examined you for a moment, clearly questioning your evasive reply. “Am I overstaying my welcome?”

“No, it’s not that,” you shook your head. “My shower is just a bit uh, quirky? So, it can be tricky to get it to work I guess.” 

He chuckled. “You can just come along and show me?”

“I think you’re thinking my shower is bigger than it is.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Surprisingly enough, you did manage to squeeze into your tiny shower booth together. You fumbled with your showerhead the way you always did, accidentally drenching both of you in ice cold water along the way, but you eventually got it to work. You’d been so overly aware of how shabby your bathroom and your whole apartment was in comparison to the flat Hyunggu lived in, yet he didn’t seem to mind it at all. He simply laughed in amusement when the cold water hit his skin and it made you ease up too. 

You’d never hated your apartment, but now that Hyunggu was there with you, you felt like you genuinely liked it for once, broken faucet and all. 

Your elbows kept bumping into the walls with every move you made and you couldn’t stop yourselves from giggling everytime it happened.

“Here, let me,” Hyunggu said with a gleeful smile when you reached for the shampoo bottle.

He squeezed some into his hand and started massaging it into your scalp. When he was done, he moved to squeeze out some more for himself, but you took the bottle back before he could.

“Let me,” you echoed his words with a grin, reaching up to do the same for him. 

He watched you with a fond expression, while your fingers buried themselves in his wet hair. 

“Don’t make that face,” you complained, self-consciously averting your gaze.

“What face?” 

Like you’re about to kiss me, you thought. “I don’t know,” you said. 

“Is this better?”

“What?” 

The second your eyes met his again, he leaned in, closing the gap to kiss you. His arms found your waist, holding you steady, while your own hands wandered from his hair to the back of his neck. You kissed him over and over again, until you started to feel cold, goosebumps forming on your skin, and even then you kept kissing him some more.

“Maybe,” you whispered breathlessly once you finally parted, “Maybe we should get washed up.”

An equally breathless chuckle slipped past his lips. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything about the movie date?” Your best friend was looking at you with a pout, before taking a giant bite of her sandwich.

The two of you were sitting on the stairs outside the cafeteria. It was fairly warm today, and if you didn’t know better you would have thought it was already April or May and not the end of February.

“There simply wasn’t much to say?” You supplied with a shrug. 

“How could that be? You were getting along so well at the dinner and then even went on a date and then you suddenly never talked about him again? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened.”

“So you don’t like him?”

“I don’t know,” you took a sip from your smoothie. “I mean, I like him, but not—”

“What are you talking about?” Changgu suddenly interrupted, before he sat down next to your friend. The others were coming over too, Shinwon and Hongseok trailing a little behind as they were immersed in a conversation.

Her gaze briefly wandered over to Hongseok, before she shook her head. “Nothing much.”

“Doesn’t sound very convincing,” Hyunggu suddenly chimed in, plopping onto the stairs next to you. 

Without asking he leaned in to steal a sip from your smoothie, only grinning sheepishly when you pushed him away.

Changgu watched the scene with a raised eyebrow. “Have you always been this close?”

“We’re not!” you hastily declared, the same moment Hyunggu replied with a simple “Yeah.”

You threw him a warning glance but he just tilted his head. “Are we not?”

“I mean—,” you swallowed. “I guess?”

Instead of a reply, Hyunggu smiled and lightly nudged you in the side before stealing yet another sip from your smoothie.

When you said your goodbyes a little later to get to your lecture, Hyunggu naturally stood up as well, sauntering next to you, his bag casually slung over his shoulder.

“Wanna meet later?”

You turned to look at him but didn’t stop walking. “Today?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. Later today.”

“Uh, it’d be kinda late though?”

“I don’t mind. How late is late?”

“Not sure. I mean I have my last class in the evening and then I’d still have to eat too…”

“We could eat together?”

You looked at him in disbelief for a second. “Are you sure?”

“We could cook something. I can get groceries beforehand and then come pick you up. Why not?”

Because that sounds like a date. 

“Uh, yeah, okay.”

“At your place?”

 You raised an eyebrow. “My place? To cook? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t even have a proper kitchen, Hyunggu. The stove is literally in my bedroom.”

Hyunggu shrugged. “It’s cozy.”

You nodded slowly, not really understanding why he’d willingly come to your place when his place was just objectively better. “Okay then.”

“Perfect.” He beamed at you, before he turned to leave. “I’ll be off then. See you tonight!”

As promised, Hyunggu picked you up later that night. It was already dark but you still spotted his car easily in the lot. You supposed after all these times you rode with him, it wasn’t really that surprising. On the way to your flat he asked you about how classes went and you rambled a bit about it. He hummed from time to time to indicate that he was listening, asking small questions in between. He told you about his day too, said he’d looked up a pasta recipe to cook tonight.

“I bought wine too.” He threw you a quick glance, before he focused back on the road. “But no worries if you’d rather not drink, it’s a weekday after all. Just thought it’d go well with the dish.”

“No, wine sounds good.”

His eyes scrunched up in a smile. “Great.”

Cooking by yourself already posed a challenge with your tiny kitchenette. But cooking with two people felt close to impossible. You were standing at the stove, heating up the water for the pasta while Hyunggu was standing right next to you, chopping vegetables on your tiny countertop. His arm kept lightly bumping into you as he moved and you almost wondered if he did it on purpose.

“Stop that,” you eventually giggled, nudging him.

“Don’t know what you mean.” He grinned, scooting a little closer. 

“C’mon, you know exactly what I mean.”

“Nope. I’m not doing anything,” He inched closer again, his shoulder pressed up against yours “There’s just no space here.”

“Hyunggu, please, the stove is on.” you scolded, but there was no bite to it and you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. “It’s dangerous.”

He glanced over to the pot, steam rising up from it already. “You’re right. We should get you out of the danger zone then.” He grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the stove and onto his other side, barely an inch separating the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat, a feeling of anticipation spreading in your stomach.

“Better?” He pressed a brief kiss on your nose and turned back to his vegetables, leaving you in the lurch, waiting for nothing.

Once dinner was done, you sat down at your tiny kitchen table that barely had enough space to fit both your plates and glasses. Your knees bumped into his under the table, but neither of you really minded. The pasta was way better than you expected considering the chaotic cooking process and Hyunggu was right, the wine fitted well. Still, you couldn’t focus on the food that well, and for once it wasn’t Hyunggu’s doing.

“You can take a look, you know? I don’t mind,” he eventually suggested when your phone vibrated for the nth time with a text message.

You smiled apologetically before quickly checking your texts—just to be confronted with a zillion messages from your best friend, who seemingly wasn’t done with the conversation from this noon yet. You let out a sigh before muting your phone and setting it aside.

“Everything okay?” Hyunggu looked at you, worry visible in his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good just—,” you sighed again. “She’s really hung up on the idea of me and Hongseok and keeps asking me about whether I’ll go on another date with him and stuff.”

Hyunggu suddenly looked a little tense. “Will you? Go on another date with him?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

Hyunggu wasn’t averting his eyes and you couldn’t quite read his gaze. “Don’t go on another date with him.”

“I—I won’t.”

“Really?” There was something like relief in his voice.

“No.”

“Why not?”

An awkward laugh slipped past your lips. “Does it matter?”

“It matters.” Hyunggu eyed you earnestly. 

You couldn’t hold his gaze, staring onto your plate instead. “I just don’t see him that way...”

“Is there—Is there no other reason? At all?”  

“What about you then? Why do you care about this so much?”

When you timidly met his gaze then, he almost looked hurt. “Do you really not know?”

“I don’t.”

“I just—I just can’t bear the thought of you with someone else.”

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew what he was implying. But you couldn’t wrap your head around it. It simply couldn’t be true. You were …you. And he was everything.

“Why?” The question came out so breathlessly it was barely audible.

A bitter chuckle escaped Hyunggu’s throat. “You really need me to say it?”

You nodded. 

He sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Remember what you said when we started all this? The one who falls in love first loses? I lost, y/n. I lost.”

“No,” you laughed, more out of disbelief than anything else. “How could you—how?”

“How couldn’t I?”

“You’re lying,” you croaked out.

“Do you want me to be lying?”

No. More than anything you wanted it to be true. But it just seemed impossible. Your chest felt so tight, you were barely able to breathe. Tears were welling up in your eyes and you weren’t even sure why. Somehow everything was just a little too much.

“But you—Are you sure?” your voice sounded choked up. “I’m just me.”

“Mhm,” a soft smile spread on his lips. “I’m well aware.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense to me, though.”

You shook your head, unable to really comprehend this whole situation. A few tears had slipped away, running down your cheeks and you wiped at them with the sleeve of your sweater.

“Hey,” Hyunggu left his chair to crouch down in front of you and take your hands in his. “Don’t cry, hm?”

He reached up, his thumb softly brushing away the tears. “It’s okay.”

For a moment it got quiet between the two of you, and he just sat there looking at you, holding on to you.

“You mean it, right?” You interrupted the silence after a while, followed by a small sniff.

Hyunggu smiled. “Yeah, I mean it.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He tilted his head. “So, what do you think?”

“Huh?” 

“Do you want to date? Like, seriously date?”

You stared at him, caught off guard with the question. In your emotional tumult it had somehow not occurred to you, that you were supposed to have an opinion on all of this. 

When you stayed silent, something like insecurity flashed through his eyes. “Is that a no?”

You shook your head, slowly at first before the movement got more hasty. “No.” You swallowed. “It’s not a no.”

“So it’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

Hyunggu smiled at you and there was so much glee in his eyes it made your heart feel like it could burst any moment. 

His joy was infectious, making a big smile spread on your lips as well, as he got up and pulled you to your feet and right into his arms. He hugged you tightly, slowly swaying both of you from side to side.

“Somehow, I’m just really happy,” he mumbled into your hair.

You wrapped your arms around him and breathed in his scent. “Yeah. Me too.”

You laid in his arms later that night. His warm eyes were on you, like they’d been all evening. As if he simply couldn’t stop looking at you.

“You know, maybe losing isn’t so bad,” he whispered, his hand tracing over your temple. “If I get to have this.”

A smile spread on your lips. “Do you want me to let you in on a secret?”

“Hm?”

“I had already lost long before the game even started.”

“Eh?” Surprise flashed over his face. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned before he leaned in, his lips brushing over yours. “I like these kinds of secrets.”

Masterlist

#it's done it's done it's done can you believe #not chaptered bc i felt it didn't fit the flow of the story so i apologize to everyone who has to deal with this long af post now #kino x reader #hyunggu x reader #pentagon x reader #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #pentagon headcanons #pentagon reactions #kino fluff #hyunggu fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop headcanons #pentagon #pentagon drabble #pentagon fic #kebbis.writing

[everywhere-all-around-the-world]

#back on my polls #kinda idk how consistent i’m gonna be i’ve been so swamped recently #anyway #kpop #kpop polls #polls #seventeen #svt #stayc #nct 127 #nct #tomorrow x together #txt #pentagon #ptg #got7 #exo #bts #treasure #astro #seulgi #red velvet #rv #there are so many run songs i’m doing a part two for sure #my favs from here are run to you+run2u+dead man runnin #but tbh i like all of these songs

[windhamsrotunda]

Quiéreme (Love Me)

Pairing: Penta El Zero (aka Pentagón Jr) (AEW) x Female! Reader

Synopsis: (Inspired by the song ‘’A Gangster’s Wife’’ by Ms. Krazie feat. Chino Grande)

Rating: Mature (18+ Only)

Warnings: angst, smut,  use of pet names (angel, princesa ‘’princess’’ in Spanish, treasure, mi amor) (my love).

Word Count: 1.1k+ 

Requested by: @pentagonjr123​ 

***GIF IS NOT MINE, CREDITS GO TO THE ORIGINAL OWNER***

***FLASHBACK, 2 DAYS AGO***

‘’Please leave your message after the tone,’’

BEEP.

‘’Hey Penta it’s me again,’’ You held the phone close up to your ear to leave a voicemail message for your husband, who you haven’t seen in two days. You sighed into the phone,

‘’I’ve been trying to call you already. I want to say five or six times that you are not picking up your phone and I am worried sick. It’s already three in the morning babe, where are you?’’

You hung up and didn’t finish what you were going to tell your husband the night that you’ve called, he has not been answering your texts or your calls ever since he disappeared without a trace. Your stomach began to turn inside out, and as you peeked at the window's exterior to you and your husband’s residence, a 5’11 shadow darted against the darkness before your own eyes. The street lights flickered on outside, you had to go and investigate what was going on.

‘’What the hell?’’ You mentally thought in the back of your clustered mind, eyes scanning in worry while you were in the opened doorway to your home. Your heart began to do rapid flip-flops inside of your chest, Penta should be home by any minute.

Your hand was placed upon your chest, clutching the soft material of your shirt while your thoughts became bankrupt. Extreme worry washed over you as footsteps thudded hard over to the door, and a quick banging on the door occurred. A hand shakily twisted the solid doorknob open, not peeking in the hole to your residence was probably going to be a big mistake.

‘’Penta?’’ You heard yourself say aloud, a masked man sprinted inside your home.

‘’Princesa, I am so sorry I didn’t pick up your calls, I can explain–’’

‘’Explain to me that you were elsewhere than you normally are. You had me worried sick!’’ You gave a daunting glare at your husband. 

Penta lent out his hand to you pleading for forgiveness.

‘’I can make it up to you, please let me explain where and what I was doing,’’ His tone of voice was forbidding, on the verge of tears as you finally managed to give in since he was your husband.

‘’Spill,’’ You exhaled a sigh, grabbed a chair from the dining room, and sat upon it.

His voice shattered, and tension built up like building blocks one by one. 

‘’Angel, I want to make this up to you but not just by saying words, but by my actions as well. I love you as much as my heart takes, you probably already know this since I sound like a broken record. Amame como si tu vida dependiera de ello.’’ (love me like your life was depending on it)

‘’Si, mi Amor.’’ You replied a smile appearing on your face.

You and Penta held each other close as if this were your last moments together. He wanted nothing but to show you how beautiful you were inside and out. Your e/c orbs wandered into his, a tear had shown behind his black and white mask.

‘’Quiereme.’’ 

‘’With my heart’s content.’’

Right before you could say something else, Penta’s large fingers found their way underneath your jawline and kissed you with passion and desire burning in his soul. The kiss cut out your airway, you proceeded to kiss him back, pursing your lips together. Fireworks had erupted within you, he lifted you up and carried you bridal style up to the bedroom. You couldn’t coherent sentences, you didn’t worry about the thought of talking with him, actions meant louder than words anyways. Penta laid you down on the bed with care, and the palm of his hand never left the back of your head. Rushing to get you undressed, the both of you shared saccharine kisses. He took a few steps back away from the bed, undressing in return to reveal what was underneath.

You were starstruck by how he was drop-dead handsome inside and out, you were lucky enough to have a husband like him. Penta eyed you up and down like a hawk, he muttered the word:

‘’Gorgeous.’’

You swooned,  your hands resting on the surface of the queen-sized bed as he crawled into bed with you. He didn’t intend to talk as much, because his actions were louder in the name of love. He climbed on top of you with all of his body weight against yours, commending the sight of you. Penta positioned himself in front of your spread-out legs, sliding inside of you with such ease. Gasping at the sudden feeling of him rocking his hips back and forth, you felt every inch of his well-being. Finally adjusting to his size, your moans escalated through you as he began to pick the pace up. As the bedframes quivered, his heavy panting synched in with your moans. 

‘’All mine, treasure,’’ He said through his breathing, his teeth grazing down on your soft skin making you hiss through gritted teeth.

Sounds of flesh slapping through the hallowed walls of the bedroom harmonized within the bedframes of the queen-sized bed shaking violently, Penta picked the back of your head up gently, holding you in his care. His veiny cock pounded your g spot over and over again, looking you directly in the eyes.

‘’Daddy loves how you moan for him, Princesa. You’re fuckin’ mine.’’ 

Your eyes started to roll around, your orgasm flowed like a river. You saw stars aligned in the ceiling, and your head arched as far as it could. He continued to praise you like his prize possession, cherishing how nobody but him could make you feel this good inside. The nerves in your legs jolted like lightning, you were so close to squirting everywhere.

‘’Pe-Penta,’’ You panted with a fistful of silhouette bedsheets, your knuckles slowly turning a ghostly white, so white you could see your knuckle bones.

Every so often, you heard him say: ‘’That’s my Princesa’’ and ‘’So hot when you take me like this, treasure.’’ in a repeated trance. Penta had you so damn worked up, that you couldn’t coherent any words. 

‘’Cum!’’ He announced, letting you unwind. When you felt your legs collapse, your whole body collapsed as well in spite.

He rolled his body weight over onto the bed and laid beside you. Your chest bellowed up and down consuming in airy breaths, still seeing the stars from being fucked so hard from your well-proportioned husband.

‘’Mi amor, I love you.’’ He whispered, placing a sweetened kiss on your delicate collarbones.

Your neck slightly turned over to look at him.

‘’Thank you for everything, Penta.’’

Authors Note: Likes and Reblogs are appreciated! <3

#penta el zero miedo #penta el zero x you #pentagon jr #all elite wrestling #aew smut #all elite wrestling smut #aew fanfic #aew wrestling #aew imagine #aew #death triangle #penta el zero smut #all elite wrestling dynamite #all elite wrestling fic #all elite wrestling rampage #aew x you #aew angst

[dreamaze]

Top 10 Songs ✧ 2022 January-June

tagged by: @jaehyukkies, @slowrabbitpd  tagging: @shorelinnes, @20cm, & anyone else who would like to do it!

2022 has been a year of discovery & branching out for me, which has both exciting & gratifying. In no particular order, these are 10 beloved songs released in the first half of this year that keep my passion for music alive. ♡ 

HONORABLE MENTIONS ✧ Good Boy Gone Bad / TXT ✧ LOVE / Monsta X ✧ Can’t Stop This Party / Seori ✧ Hai Cheng / The 8 ✧ Cupid / DKZ ✧ The Little Name / Adora

FAVORITE ALBUMS ✧ Shape of Love / Monsta X ✧ Planet Nine: VOYAGER / Onewe ✧ VOYAGER / Kihyun ✧ minisode 2: Thursday’s Child / TXT

WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF LOVE FOR (OLDER RELEASES): ✧ Lupin, Beautiful, BlockBuster / DKZ ✧ Lullaby / ONEW, ROCOBERRY ✧ COSMOS / Onewe ✧ KNOCK / KNK ✧ What U / SPEED ✧ 20년 전에도, 지금도 / Beyond Evil OST ✧ Bird Bird Blue Bird, Hijo de la Luna, & more / Forestella ✧ the entire monsta x discography ✧ and much more ♡

#kpopccc #kpopco #monsta x #max changmin #luminous #tomorrow x together #kihyun #onewe #tnx #jackson wang #pentagon #kpop #wings.gifs #wings.original #eyestrain #tuseral #hijaehyukkies #wabisarah #what color palette is this wings! #p.s. i was mostly attempting to keep this to one song per artist but then. you know. mx happened so.......

[yunhohours]

hi hello i’ve been gone for a bit but pls send in any and all hard thoughts + theories

#what kink do you think (insert idol) has? #what scenario can you NOT get out of your head? #lmk!!! #i’m so nosy fkskdksk #svt smut #ateez smut #the boyz smut #cix smut #pentagon smut #wei smut #onewe smut #omega x smut #wayv smut

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lovefool [dark!Konig x fem!Reader]

Konig gets to secure a little trophy from the battlefield. Hope you're in for a ride.

!TW! Kidnapping, Yandere themes, Dub-con, dark!Konig

Tags: Yandere, Dark Romance, colonel!Konig, dark!Konig, Size kink, Age gap(Konig in his thirties and Reader is in her twenties), Stockholm syndrome speedrun, Konig is a huge pervert, submissive Reader

You never knew who he was before he attacked.

Your teammates did – whisperers about KorTac getting on their tails, stories about their crazy psycho commander who could barely pass a word to his subordinates while smacking heads off trained men in full armor. Spooky tails for the recruits who refuse to train in their free time – something about “If you aren’t getting in shape by the end of the month, König is going to get you”.

You never knew who he was – you barely knew the organization you worked in.

Cyber security, lowly private military. They are hiring based on CV alone and didn’t ask for a fancy college and a few degrees in hacking that you could never get. They wanted experience, and you had at least a bit of it – you passed through basic training, never serving in the military before, but fine with promises of never actually going out in the field since you would be giving them intel and cyber support from the sidelines.

Well, they never told you that “the sidelines” would be 100 meters away from the actual battlefield.

You don’t even remember what the mission was about – something important, you guess, because they asked you to be here, on sight, computer in hand, and your comrades, with whom you barely talked outside of work, alongside you. Something about weapon smuggling, though you never actually understood if you were stopping it or doing it. Working in the middle of the European Union pays a lot, and it sort of counts as free travel – you’re somewhere in Germany, maybe on the border with Poland or Austria or Czech Republic. Nothing but fields of grass and occasional mountains. They gave you a riffle, a sidearm, and instructions to try not to get too wounded since they wouldn’t be dragging your body out of the field. S[read sheet with intel opened on your computer – you’re not their secretary, but at least they don’t want you to hack the Pentagon.

You heard screams from your tent: “KorTac”, “Compromised”

“König”

What was the weirdest thing – he was alone. A single man shouldn’t be able to take on a team of trained mercs, even as lowly as your company was. You all had weapons, armor, and means of at least taking him down as a group – and you were like a bunch of babies with toy guns on the playground when a pitbull came in.

Your leader fell first – you saw his head explode with a perfect shot right between his eyes. no one screamed sniper, but you still ducked under the field table, hoping that it would save you a few minutes of peace before you’d manage to delete all of the important files from your laptop. This was the protocol – if you are in the middle of dying, you need to first make sure that the enemy won’t get a hold of precious company correspondence and deeply personal photos of your cat.

You leaned forward to see what was happening on the field – you heard screams, you heard gunshots, you heard…

Laugh.

Deep, loud, the laugh that sounded both malicious and cheerful at the same time. It sounded like the man had a field day of breaking necks and stabbing his teammates. You've never seen so much blood on someone. You wish you never had.

Your teammates are falling like porcelain dolls when the elephant hits the kitchen, and you are trying your best to be a good little hacker and not let your company down before your inevitable demise. Turning on your laptop, waiting for whatever ancient version of Windows you had since the budget was mostly going into flashy guns and cool night vision headsets, you are getting ready to format all the disks when….

“The Windows update is in the process. Please, wait approximately 9 hours to complete”

Oh, hell no. You are not going to wait another 9 hours, you could barely survive for the next 9 minutes! Of course, naturally, obviously, you can just turn off the computer and get it off work because the files will get fried up and it won’t turn on again, ever. Which would still complete your goals, so…

— Come on, please…f-fuck, please, just let me…

“As a method of complete data loss prevention, Windows has disabled the ability to manually turn off your computer. Please, wait approximately 9 hours to complete”

— Found you, Maus.

Something – a hand, big, covered in the type of protection you never saw on your fellow soldiers – yanked your ankle, dragging you from under the table you were hiding under. The air stinks of blood and you involuntarily whimper, hands are going to grab the laptop. You need to smash it, destroy it, maybe just drop it hard enough on the floor, push it against the wall, and try your best to kick it enough to damage the disk and prevent KorTac from accessing the files.

The guy steps on your hand, taking the laptop away. You swear to god you hear a crack – you prayed that he would accidentally smash the laptop, but it was your hand under his boot.

— Hurts? Good.

You whimper as he carefully puts the laptop away, checking if it’s still working. He then returns to you – laying on the floor, fingers still shaking in pain, and attempts to grasp for the computer that was snatched away. There is nothing you can do – you have a gun, yes, and he has at least three guns and deadly man-bear hands, so even if you were fast enough to draw a gun before he would, he can just kick you like a puppy.

König – it’s him, it must be him, your teammates were screaming his callsign and talking about a devil who wears a sniper hood and has the height of a not very small tree – kicks you in the ribs, turning you from the side to your back, facing him. If you were stronger, you would do something cool – bite his ankles, for example. Or spit in his face as the last remaining tip of your dignity, before he would kill you or torture you or feast on your flesh.

— Verdammte Feiglinge, can’t even face your death like a man. Look at me, ja?

Crying isn’t a shameful thing to do. So, you cry. Soft little whimpers, sniffles, you are probably looking wet and disgusting, but you hurt, scared, and fucking tired and you want out of here, and you never actually wanted to be a soldier, and they all lied to you while promising to keep you out of the field, and this uniform is horrible, and you feel your tears soaking the half of bandana you were using as a face mask and…

He snatches the mask from your face. Look you in the eyes for long enough to make your whimpers even more audible. You can swear to god that his pupils were dilated. That his hands were shaking. You could see his eyes getting scrunched in that particular way that their owner is smiling – sincerely, openly, from the bottom of his heart.

— Please…p-please, be fast, I don’t know anything, I will…I won’t, I…

Rough, calloused hand goes to cup your face. The material of his glove is tough and soaked in blood as he smears it on your cheek, your fingers are going to wipe away the tears – you don’t understand what’s happening and you are even more scared, and your mouth is twitching in a terrified grimace. He pushes the tip of his finger into your mouth, making you suck on the blood and dirt of the fabric. You think you are going to throw up.

— Quiet.

You don’t understand why he didn’t kill you yet. He is touching your face, slowly, his one hand is enough to cover your entire head and you’re sure that if he’d want to just squish your brain like a rotten cabbage, he could just fine. He pushes his finger even deeper in your mouth and you lick it involuntarily because this is an intrusion and you have the brain of a two-year-old who sees the world through their ability to devour things, and his pupils dilate even more. He looks at your frown, your tears, and your lips wrapped around his finger.

He yanks you on your feet embarrassingly easy.

— You’re a hacker?

You blink a few times. Now, the protocol is that no, you can’t state who you are, If he knows that you are a hacker, he can take you away for interrogation, maybe torture you for passwords and the intel on your company, and being tortured isn’t something on your monthly calendar. Now, the protocol also states that you have to be able to die for your company, and…

He grabs your neck, lifting you – surprisingly gently, softly even, a hand supports your waist so you won’t be able to either kick him or get choked to death because of his grip.

— Answer me, Maus. I might have a reason to let you live.

You do want to live. Maybe not long, definitely not until you’re 100 years old with dozens of grandchildren, but being able to live past the next few hours and then days and then weeks does sound incredible.

— Y…yes. I’m a cyber security specialist.

He squeezes your neck more. Pushes you up, making you cough in your grip. You never experienced anything like this before – never had a guy strong enough to handle you like this. It would look cool from the side, probably – like something from a videogame. It would look hot in the porn, probably, if it was consensual and happening between two passionate lovers.

But you are his enemy, and he is yours – cold blue eyes peering right into yours. He is looking at you like a piece of meat, and not even in the lustful, hungry way. He looks like a butcher in front of a very good beef cut, thinking about where should he sink his knife to get the best steaks. A hunter standing over the wounded deer, thinking if he wants your head above his fireplace or taxidermy your whole body as a wicked trophy.

— Didn’t know they’d allowed someone so fucking small in the field.

You can swear to god that you saw him smile, under this hood. You can’t see his face, obviously, only the blood-soaked fabric and his eyes, but something still tells you that he is smiling. Enjoying your attempts to escape, maybe – you tried to kick him a few times, producing a deep, amused chuckle from his lips. He holds you so easily like you are nothing but a sweet little kitten. You might not be as big as him, but he still shouldn’t be able to lift a grown woman in full gear with just one hand. Right?

— I’m not…not s-small.

You don’t have much fight left in you. You are on the verge of just asking him to kill you, to be honest, your neck hurts and the pain spreading from your fingers pulsates and transforms. You hope they are not broken – even though you understand that your chances to live past these few minutes are very slim. Even your usual snark is lost, forbidden in the hands of a giant who likes to play with his food.

You do feel like a mouse – in a way that you would die under his boot very soon.

He – König, monster, colonel, fucking deadly mercenary – chuckles again. You can get used to this sound. Melodic almost, in a way that most alarms are melodic while telling you about inevitable catastrophe.

— Kleine verfickte Maus. Ich wette, dass du auch ganz eng bist.

He is laughing, again. Laughing and chuckling and you can’t take it anymore because he is so obviously stronger than you, it’s not fair. You want to put your foot on the ground and tap it like a spoiled brat, like a baby on the playground whining for their mom to take them home because other kids don’t want to play by their rules. The difference in skill is so obvious, that you aren’t even able to put on some sort of fight.

— Wh…I don’t speak German.

Your other hand – the one that didn’t get squished under his boot – goes to scratch his arm. Maybe put up enough struggle that he would accidentally let you fall right from his grasp. He doesn’t react and you feel hopeless. Weak, useless, you remember all the times you decided to miss training so you could just chill in the lounge with other rookies or do something on your computer.

— You will, Maus.

Then, there is only darkness.

***

You woke up…somewhere.

Come to think of it, it wasn’t the first time you woke up. You remember opening your eyes, feeling the vibrations under your cheek, hearing the noises of a car or other vehicle moving fast. Too fast for your already spinning head and stomach – you don’t remember if you were coughing or vomiting, but the movement wasn’t stopping to ever let you breathe. You were being transported somewhere, without a chance of knowing where you were heading. At least now, when you get to the final, as you think at least, destination, you’re clean.

As much as someone tied up to a chair somewhere that reminds you of a basement can be.

You’re stripped of your weapons obviously – not like you had a chance to use them anyway. Your hands are tied behind your back, your legs are bound to a chair, and your tragic lack of clothes is…more evident than you wanted it to be. At least you still have your underwear on – it still didn’t make the situation better. He saw you naked, completely, and he might do god knows what with you now.

Although you have some feelings about what he can do with a weak enemy hacker, half-naked and tied up in a secure place.

You would panic, but it requires energy. A resource that you don’t have right now.

— You woke up. Gut. Started to think I went too much again.

His accent is weird, you think. The thought only occurs to you now, when you can hear him more clearly while not being that afraid of getting out of this alive. His voice is weirdly calm for someone of his size – you want to think of gentle giants but this man is far from gentle and is almost too big to even be called a giant. A colossus, you want to say.

— Again?

Your voice is raspy, both from your sleep and from lack of water. When was the last time you drank anything? Probably more than a few hours – your throat is dry as sandpaper, and your head is dizzy from both your trauma – he either strangled you to unconsciousness or beat you hard enough – and the dehydration. You don’t want to spend another minute in this basement – you think this is a basement, at least, the high humidity on the walls and some garbage tossed to the corner is fairly evident. It’s large, too – you never saw anything like this. It might be a KorTac prison, but the remains of a bike and a few shelves of canned foods tossed to the other side of the room tell otherwise.

— We’re allowed to take trophies home. Sometimes I get…impatient.

You’re in his house? Does a monster like him even need a house?

“A trophy”

Funny how you don’t even feel that dehumanized. He didn’t kill you, you don’t feel the evidence of violation on your body – you are clean, neat even, your stomach and private parts aren’t hurting, and, as much as you hate to say this while tied up to a chair, you are as comfortable as a person in your position can be.

— What are you going to do with me?

You shake like a leaf. He finally steps closer to you, coming from the ladder – you can hear the lock and a heavy door being closed, setting your hopes of escape. Not like you could, in your position – the bruises already forming on your legs and hands, a numbed pain in your head and fingers. You feel shitty and comfortable at the same time, trying to tune off the discomfort and just concentrate on talking to him.

He didn’t kill you – this is good, you can work with this.

He left you alive – this is bad, he is going to torture you, he is going to do a million terrible things with you and you are not a part of a regular army, You didn’t get the torture resistance training. Maybe, if it was some of your friends, other girls in the group who got through military school and never missed gym to sit on their computers, they would have survived. You never felt so weak before – not even on the battlefield.

God, you’re scared.

— Your computer. My employer needs the info you had on it.

Oh.

It’s not personal, at least. He is here for the information, not to take advantage of your weak, fragile body. It made you almost feel at peace, almost made you forget about your lack of clothing and the damp basement you’re being put in.

— What sort of info do you need?

You slowly start to wiggle your hands in your binds – he used plastic locks, those stupid unremovable things that are slowly cutting the soft flesh of your wrists. You can’t untie them, but you can try at least tear them on the metal of your chair. You can try to, just to say that you did, and not feel bad about not resisting him at all.

— Your last mission. You were trying to smuggle weapons into the EU border.

— We were trying to stop the smuggling of weapons.

At least, you think you were – your head hurts, your memories are dizzy, and they never actually told you what kind of job you had. Come to think of it, actually, you never asked whether you were the good guys or the bad guys – it was always about money, paychecks, getting your job done and not dying from lack of nutrition because most tech-jokey jobs are already filled with uninspired chatbots and graduates from fancy colleges with a dick between their legs. Not reserved for tired women like you – so you turn to, ironically, paramilitary organizations. How the tables have turned.

— That’s not what our intel says, Maus. Do you want to lie to me?

You don’t. You just don’t know if you are telling the truth or lying because you are too fucking tired to even think straight.

He comes closer, and you whimper involuntarily. His breath hitches.

— Scheisse…they knew who to hire.

He grabs you by the neck again, and you can finally see him fully – towering over you, cold blue eyes staring right into you. You sob, not able to handle your emotions because, oh god, he is going to rape you, torture you, and then put a giant burning stick right in your ass because everyone knows that this is the best way to hack a computer – you just need to find the person who put the password in the first place.

— Can’t you just hack the computer yourself?

He chuckles – you’re getting tired of that sound. You hate that you found his voice attractive, you hate the fact he is keeping you down here. You want to destroy that part of your body that likes the attention – how his eyes are only kept on you. Never had a guy kidnapping you before, and you fight the feeling of disappointment that strikes you when you remember that he is here because he needs the intel. Not because he wants you.

— It wasn’t a…conventional operation. Can’t waste manpower on breaking the walls you installed.

His hand goes to cup your face again – you frown, breathing stops because he is so close and he takes off his gloves, allowing his rough, calloused fingers to linger on your cheeks. He squeezes your face in an almost adorable manner and steps back again. You lick your dry lips again, trying hard to keep at least one part of your body moisturized, and his breath hitches again.

He goes behind you, ruffles through shelves – you can hear something falling, his awkward grunt as he had to pick it up. He is more clumsy than you though – more nervous also, hands are jittering and fingers twitching every time you look at him. Adorable, really, how this huge mess of a man can look so innocent and almost nervous in front of you.

König returns after a minute or two, holding…a water bottle. Closed, lid still on, little plastic wrapping in place. You have half a mind about just drinking it, even though he doesn’t offer it to you. Not like you could open it yourself, with how your hands are still tied up behind your back.

— You don’t speak German.

It’s not a question – it’s a statement. you watch him opening the bottle with ease, large hands are working on something so fragile and delicate. You can’t remember the last time you had sex, not with how fast your head is spinning and memories still foggy, but you think it was a long time ago – because you feel your cheeks heated from the simple actions of his large fingers ripping through soft plastic.

God, you don’t really remember what was happening before you got here, not in detail, but you know that you needed to get laid like, a year ago.

— No.

— You will.

— Wh…what do you mean?

Is he going to make you install Duolingo? Is this what it all was about? Some elaborate prank, a marketing campaign, a tough lesson for silly girls who think that knowing just your native language is enough to live your life and…

— When you want something, Maus, you have to say “bitte”.

If you were a strong and cool soldier, you would use this moment to jump from your chair, using the weight of your body to fall on him and make him lose balance, and then spit in his face as your last remaining blast of human dignity.

But you aren’t a cool and strong soldier, and you really need to drink.

— B…bitte. What does this mean?

— Please.

He is almost whispering, the water bottle tanging in his hands in front of you. You take your time, considering the possibilities – you can play like a good little prisoner and allow him to take your pride and just toss it aside. You can play like an obedient hostage and ask him nicely, hoping that it would be enough.

You don’t know what to do – appearing too shy and soft can give him…ideas. And you don’t want this crazed giant who is keeping you bound in his basement to get ideas. You can…you probably can spend more time without water. Or food. Or shower and change of position.

You take your time answering, and his demeanor seems almost…anxious. His eyes are darting between the water bottle and your face, between his hands and your body – like he can barely keep a calm facade and not force you into doing something nasty. Like he is almost afraid that you are not going to cooperate and he would really have to hurt you in a meaningful way.

— Can I have water, bitte?

— Gutes Kätzchen. Drink, you’ll need it.

In the end, you broke down first. Not because you are this weak, but because being a brat won’t save you in a situation like this. You don’t want to die over something as trivial as your pride.

König seems…at ease. He takes off the bottle cap and brings water to your lips, allowing you to drink as much as you want. You lick the remaining drops from your lips and he puts a half-empty bottle aside.

— I won’t tell you the password.

You mumble under your breath, barely audible. He chuckles.

— I count on it, liebe.

#call of duty #cod x reader #cod x you #konig mw2 #cod #konig x reader #reader insert #yandere cod #yandere konig #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere #yandere imagines

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Christmas Tree

Summary: The annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony. 

Oneshot

Fluff, Best Friends to Lovers au 

Word Count: 1,253

Changgu (Yeo One) X Reader

Requested: The 12 days of winter thing is so cute omg!! 🥺 Maybe #7 for Changgu or Kiki? I think it'd fit well for either of them so whichever you prefer&lt;3

Prompt: 7. “Christmas lights can’t compare to how bright you shine”

[A/n: I really hope you like this 🥺💖 it's not my best work. But I still hope you're able to enjoy it; it may be a little cheesy tho. Thank you so much for requesting, Kebbi 🥺😭💖]

------

You’re leaving work after a boring shift when you hear your phone ring; you dig it out from the depths of your pockets and see it’s Changgu. Your best friend, who you have slight feelings for, you excitedly answer, “Hey, Changgu! What’s up?” You can almost hear his grin as he goes, “Us right now!” You roll your eyes as he continues, “I was wondering if you’d like to watch the Christmas tree lighting with me?” You grin, “Yeah, I would love to!” He goes, “Alright, I’ll pick you up in an hour, okay?” You nod before realizing he couldn’t see you, “Okay, that works for me! See you later, Ggu!” “See you later, (N/n)!” And with that, he hangs up, and you make it the rest of the way home.

You change out of your work clothes and into something warm and cozy. Before relaxing in front of the TV, the Christmas specials serving as background noise to your phone scrolling. You catch the time and see it’s about to turn to the next hour and pull on your winter coat and shoes. As you hear your front door ring, you grin, “One second!” You hear his muffled agreement before you walk out of the door and see him and ask, “Are you ready to see the tree all lit up?” He grins, “I am! Are you?” You nod happily and follow him out to his car.

He holds the door open for you, all gentlemanly-like, and you shake your head with a smile before sitting in the seat. You click your seatbelt in as he shuts your door, you smirk and reach over and pop his door open, and he shakes his head as you push it out. He catches the door with a sigh and slides into his seat as you slide back into yours. He clicks his seatbelt on before turning over the car and turning on the heat. You immediately put your hands on the vents to warm them up. His music softly plays through the speakers, and you can’t help but feel more at peace as you watch him drive.

Within less than fifteen minutes, you guys arrive and find a parking spot, “Oh, look, the crowd is starting to gather now!” You say with excitement as he reverses into a parallel space and pulls in. “Oh wow, look at how huge the tree is!” He cheers, filled with excitement too. You grin before getting out of the car and waiting for him on the sidewalk, “Let’s find a nice spot to view it!” He nods, and you two walk beside each other. And you ask, “So, anything exciting at work or home?” He hums, “It’s been peaceful, almost too peaceful…” You grin, “Do you think someone is up to something, then?” He shakes his head, “Yes, but no. Shinwon is always up to something, so that’s nothing new. But the others? They’re hiding presents from each other. So, it's leading to more sneaking around and suspicion. It's amusing to see their prying eyes every time someone comes home.” You nod, “Oh~ Where are you hiding yours then?” He grins, “My car. I sleep with my keys for a reason.” You shake your head at him, “Weird but not out of a reason.” He laughs, “What about you?” You shrug, “It’s been boring with the holidays right around the corner. Everything has come to a lull, it seems.” He nods, “But that’s nice, though. Isn’t it?” You smile, “Only if there is something fun to do afterward.” He smiles, “Does this count?” You grin, “Absolutely!” He nods, and you guys spot a place on the side where you can see the tree without being blocked by others and quickly head over to it.

He looks down at his watch, “Twenty minutes until the lights come on!” The two of you sway to the carolers singing in front of the tree and softly sing along. When it’s five minutes til the carolers clear out and join the crowd. And everyone gathers in closer to watch the lights, and to keep you close, Changgu places his hand on your waist, “You okay?” You nod, “You?” He nods as everyone grows silent and begins to brim with anticipation.

When the first stage, the lowest branches on the tree light up, everyone ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’. And the lights continue turning on until it reaches the very top. The golden star glows brightly and shines so beautifully in the night. You gasp as cheers break out in the crowd and turn towards Changgu, “Woah! Isn’t that the brightest thing you’ve ever seen?!” And he shakes his head with a soft smile, “Christmas lights can’t compare to how bright you shine.” If your cheeks weren’t already red from the cold, they certainly were now. You gasp and look down at your shoes before telling him a small thank you, “I mean it. I think your beauty shines inside and out. You make me so happy.” He pauses momentarily, staring into your eyes, “I was wondering if you would want to be mine?” You hold his stare, and without skipping a beat, you say, “Yes, of course. I’d love to be yours if you would be mine as well.” He grins, lifts your chin with his mitted hand, and kisses you softly, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

You pull back for a minute and stare into his eyes before pulling him into another kiss, and he dips you back a bit. You grin as you hold onto him tighter, and when the two of you pull away, you giggle, “I can’t believe this is real.” You tell him softly, and he agrees, “I’m so glad it is.” You can’t help but laugh harder and kiss his cheek, “Do you want to get some warm apple cider?” He grins and sees the stand not far from where you two stand, “I’d love to.”

You carefully reach out your mitted hands for his, and he happily wraps his hand around yours. You swing your arms together as you wait in line. You ask him, “When did you know you liked me more than a friend?” He smiles, “I think I noticed I liked you last Christmas when you snuck us both a cookie from Hongseok’s freshly baked sheet. And you gave me a cute cheeky wink before we both had to hide from him.” He shakes his head with a laugh before continuing, “I think I always knew I liked you, but I didn’t realize it until then. When did you notice?” You think for a few minutes, maybe it was when he kissed your cheek on New Year's Eve, or maybe, it was the Halloween before that. Where you two wore peanut butter and jelly couple costumes that you realized you had more than friendly feelings for him. “I realized I had more than platonic feelings for you last year on Halloween, but I think it really hit me when you kissed my cheek when the clock turned twelve this year.” You smile as you see his cheeks turn red, and he scratches the back of his neck, “You remember that?” You nod, “I don’t think I could ever forget it. Maybe this time, you can do it for real?” He grins, and you pay for the warm cider and walk back to his car, mitten in mitten. And glasses in the other, enjoying your first evening as a couple.

#changgu #yeo one #yeo one x reader #changgu x reader #pentagon #pentagon x reader #pentagon fluff #changgu fluff #yeo one fluff #ptg #ptg fluff #ptg x reader #yeo one x you #changgu x you #pentagon x you #yeo one pentagon #changgu pentagon #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fic #changgu fic #changgu fanfiction #yeo one fanfiction #yeo one fic #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #yeo changgu #yeo changgu x reader #wintertime

[safination]

Partners in Death...and Life.

Part I: Radio's not dead

| Part 2: Radio Will Be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself. | Masterlist| ao3 Pairings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem! reader, established relationship, human!alastor, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) acroace!alastor

"Alastor! Pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure!" One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. You chuckle. "I don't think it will be quite the pleasure you think." "Is that so?" Alastor's smile remains constant. "And why would that be? You show him the tray you're holding "I'm here to do your sutures"

You pass the tissue box—the third one already.

Your patient blows his nose, rubbing snot off his snout. He has to stretch his arms to reach his nose. Alligators are known for their long snouts. His nostrils flare when he sniffles. Used tissue is discarded on the pastel-pink floor despite a pastel-pink trashcan stationed by his webbed feet. It’s been the same pattern for the last fifteen-minutes.

Tissue, Sneeze. Floor.

“—and I have this…uh…like this real bad itch on my eye. I keep rubbing and rubbing but it doesn’t do shit! My eyesight’s gotten worse—It’s already fucked up but this is just different. My roommate hissed at me about getting blood all-over the carpet floors if I kept scratching my scales. Oh. Oh! I’ve been snee—achew!” Alligator snot lands on the pastel-pink floors of the clinic.

Your eyes twitch.

He takes another tissue and waves it around his head. “The top of my head is killing me. Ya’know where that is right?” He blows his nose. “It’s right here,” he says, inching his head closer to you. “The last nurse I went to was blind as a bat! Literally, she had the wings and everything. It was kinda hot.”

“I’m well aware of the location of your head,” you say. “You can lean back now.”

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.

Pastel pink floor.

Underneath the mix of feathers and hair strands, the bustling of the waiting room catches your ear. Someone curses, booming and violent at another waiting patient. A cough, a sigh, a barf. Painful curses erupt after that. You bring a hand to your ears, wincing as your eardrum rings.

Pentagon City’s best and biggest hospital needs better doors, but those lazy sloth fuckers at the top invested at the first material they found. The alligator sneezes into another tissue. He flicks it with his wrist, and it hits the pastel-pink wallpaper adorned with closed eyes. Maybe Belphegor should be the sin of Pride instead, considering all items are covered in her symbol.

“I really feel like t’was those exterminators ya’know?”

You do not, in fact, know. Half of what this young man says is incomprehensible.

His snout sways left to right when he shakes his head. “It’s only my second one, and this was a close call, and uh…well, ever since then I’ve been like this. One even got to my roommate. “

You hum, leaning back on your chair. You should petition to for thicker doors. And while you’re at it, better interior design, and better paint—something that isn’t pastel pink.

“Ugh, and it’s so not cool that this new roommate of mine’s been shedding since the day they moved in,” he says.  “Speaking of shedding, do you think it’s because of those exterminators? Do you think they like spread some sort of weird pollen to make us sick? They’re totally the type to that.”

You take your pen—your pastel-fucking-pink pen—and poke his alligator sinuses.

Hell does have its own brand of humor. You gave your 20s to studying human anatomy, only to die and find yourself with the need to re-learn the boring part of biology.  (Two books on reptiles, four on mammals, and fifteen on sea creatures.)

“YEOWCH!” His teeth stick out again. You do not know what this means.  “What kind of nurse ar—“

“Doctor.”

“—you? That’s not the top of my head!”

You push back on of the feathers on your head. “Your roommate ‘hissed’ at you? And they’ve been shedding fur for two weeks now?"

“…Yeah…?”

You stare at him. ��Have you ever considered that you’re allergic to your roommate?”

“Ooooooooooh,” he says. ‘Yeah, I was allergic to cats back when I was alive.”

You grab your (pastel-fucking-pink) prescription pad from the desk drawer. “Control it with some antihistamine. Four pills every 12 hours.”

His teeth start showing. You’re not sure if he’s frowning. It’s hard to tell. “Pills, really?”

You toss what you were writing into the massive pile of germs, mucus, and tissue. “I can give you a nasal spray. I’ll flush the mucus then insert a spray that prevents build-up,” you say. “They last for two weeks and then you’ll need to come back.”

He grabs the last tissue from the box. It still lands on your floor. “Ma’am nurse, do you have any more of this?”

You sigh and reach for a fourth box of tissue. “It’s doctor,” you say. “We keep nasal sprays here in the clinic. I’ll just grab one and you’ll be out in fifteen minutes.”

“No can do,” he says. “Before I died, my coach told me to stay away from that non-organic shit. It’ll mess us up real bad apparently. All those steroids.”

“You have phencyclidine sticking out of your coat pocket.”

“Pheny—what?”

“…Angel Dust.”

“The porn star?”

“The drug. You have drugs sticking out of your coat pocket.”

“Come on, nurse—”

Threads erupt from your fingers. It snakes around his wrist, coiling and twisting. He jerks his arm away and cries out when you tighten your hold. Your threads wrap around his legs. It pulls against his waist. Magic binds his arms, and tightens around every joint he owns. You stop, only when the alligator struggles, trashing against the clinic chair. 

His teeth bare and he snaps at whatever he can reach. You tug on one of the thousands of strings digging into his skin. His jaw snaps shut, and it will stay shut. Another tug and his back stretches to straighten. You move your fingers as if a piano laid before you, and he sits up like a good puppet.

Another month of clinic dury will be your punishment if those sloth from down below are lucid enough to do their jobs. Sadly, killing this idiot would have you suspended for three months.

“I am a doctor,” you tell him. “Do not make me repeat myself.”

The tension on your strings marks even the few scales scattered on his body. He’s a real idiot if he continues to struggle.

Delicate movements of your fingers bring him forward, his back still strained, and tilt his snout at a forty-five-degree angle. Your threads elongate as you move toward the clinic drawers. It loosens around you, careful at keeping you able to move freely. It’s one of the handier parts of your magic.

You shake your hands and the threads detach. It sticks to the floor to keep the alligator as your puppet. You scrub your hands thoroughly before taking the nasal spray and filling with with distilled water.

You place on nitrite gloves. It’s always best when dealing with bodily substances such as mucus. You place a pan underneath and jam the tube up his nostrils, hosing his sinuses with water. The tension of his binding keeps him still. (If you ignore his whining, then that’s your business. The brawl you heard from the waiting room drowned it all out anyway.) He starts breathing better when all the snot flushes to the pan.

“Finished,” you say with satisfaction. You grab your prescription pad and write one for a nasal spray. “I cleared the mucus buildup so you shouldn’t feel any more headaches. The spray will keep your nose clear for as long as you use it. Come back if you start to feel any discomfort. For the rashes just get cream.” You point at the pastel pink door. “The exit’s right there.”

The threads dissolve in the air. He rubs his wrist, trying to soothe the red marks that your strings bring. You hand him the signed prescription.

He doesn’t close the door on his way out.

The broom and dustpan are hidden in one of the taller cabinets—pastel-pink like everything else in the room.

(Well, not everything. The radio sitting on the corner of the counter gives a splash of red into the room.)

You sweep the tissues into the dustpan. Your control over your strings is much more proficient when living beings are involved. Inanimate objects whip around when you use your magic on them, and radios have been difficult to purchase recently. It’s more convenient to clean using your own hands.

“Tagatha,” you call out when the floor is clean. “You can bring in the next one in.”

Silence is your reply.

“Tagatha?”

Your ears quirk. The noises are faint—an occasional cough, silent weeping, and muted voices coming from the television. You peek out the door, eyeing the crowd formed around the corner of the hall where a pAstel-pInK television mounts on the wall.

The door closes with a faint click. You sink into the cushions of the office chair. Vox’s yapping bore you. It was probably some man-child debate about the new extermination date. Although… those serialized dramas he produces, sadly, are interesting enough to be consumed. If asked for your honest opinion, you’d tell them that they were a hot pile of smelly garbage, but you like to leave it playing mindlessly in the background.

Your husband will throw the television out the window the first chance he’ll get.

Too bad he’s occupied.

You grab a piece of paper from the drawer. Management is forcing you to write a thousand-word formal apology. There are about three-hundred words left to write.

Getting caught dissecting the dead bodies from the morgue is a mistake that won’t be repeated. One dead body and suddenly those lazy fuckers have diligence weaved into their DNA. The body was already dead, and it’s not every day a chance to poke around a chimera’s entrails appears. The sinner would contribute to something meaningful at least. You’re stuck on clinic duty until you dot your last sentence, and not a moment before

The coffee’s cold now, but consumable.

You reach across the desk, feeling for the knob of the radio. You twist until you feel the clink. Music fills the air—the same twenty-five songs on a loop. You stare at the radio for a moment.

Just… a small… single moment.

On your kitchen counter, that second cup of coffee should be cold by now. It’s always cold when you trudge through the door. It’s been cold and untouched for years.

Yet, without fail, that second cup you brew will always be waiting for its owner.

“Salutations!” You snap your head to the radio. “Good to be back on the air.”

…Huh? The feather on your hair bristle. You swipe the radio, your hold on it feather-light.  You turn the knob responsible for volume. The static noise stings your eardrums.

“—ile since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!”

Murmurs erupt outside your door. You blink and find yourself slamming it open. One foot after another, one step after the other, brings you closer to the television. Your shoulder throbs when you bump into someone, but you keep pushing until you see Vox and his tacky suit enlarged on the screen.

“What a dated voice!”

A reply comes from the radio. “Instead of a clout-chasin’ mediocre video podcast.”

Your feather rises higher. Laughter escapes your lips, it leaves a dry taste. That…that ṁ̵̭͔̲̙̦͎̝̜̲̠͙͇̂̏̃̐̂̓̊̂̕̕o̴̢̭̝̙̤̬͚͐̅͗̌̇̂̌̕ţ̷̛̝̂̿h̶̯̟̙̲̘̟̟͙͔̔̋͊̋̿̐͘͜͜ę̶̗̰͔̫͔̗̝̘̻̰̓̓̈̊͜r̵̨̂̏f̶͖̻̱̺͕̹̫̭̠̚u̸̬̺̯̟̦͖̅̂́́̌̚͝ć̴̖͙̰͈͕̉͌̈́́̈̔̀̉̍́͜͠ḳ̴̨̧̗̫̗͖̞̟̑͌̂̀̈́̀͆͒ę̷̛͓̼̟͍̆̆́͆̾͛͝r̵̹̮̤͓̗̹̈́̎̉͌̾͌̏͑̋̚͝.

“Doctor!” Tagatha screeches when she spots you. “I am so sorry. I’ll bring in the next one right away!”

Your eyes are trapped by the screen and your ears by the radio. “It’s alrig—”

Tagatha grabs the closest person to her and shoves you back into the clinic. The door slams shut just as everything goes dark and silent. (Well, it’s not completely dark, once your eyes adjust you can still see as if the lights were open. Another small perk to this body). Your radio, along with the power, stopped working.

“Oh my!” Your new patient bleats.

“We have generators,” you find yourself saying. “I’m sure the power will come on in a minute.”

The cushions of the chair do little to ease your nerves. You pat your hair, trying to get it in control. A pile of feathers starts forming on the PASTEL-FUCKING PINK FLOORS. T̴̹̜͇̅̅͗͜H̶̰̗̄Ơ̶̡̡̻̗͖̋̎̓̓S̴̨͉̝̻͋̽̆́͆Ẹ̸̡̢͐͐͠ ̷̨͚̞̙̀͒̆̆͊Ŭ̵͕̲̪͇͓͐̚G̷̹̝̦̬͊͒Ḷ̶̭͓̎̏̈͘Y̶͇̟̍̉̚ ̷̟͎͕̞͂͑̂̇À̶͉̍̄̈̚S̸͖̖͕͑̏͛̈́S̶͚̤̼̯̀ ̶̻͆P̷̬̝̉Ä̵͕́͊̌S̸̢͍̆̓͝Ṫ̸͖̲̠̾̉͜͝E̷̺͆L̷͖̏͐́͝ ̶̛̟̽͝P̷̪̔͜I̴̹̥̹͖̮͒́̏͘N̸̳̙̼̾̆̿Ķ̶̟̞̜̉͊̓̂̚ ̵͈̬̃̿̄̈́̋F̵̨̨̼̫̘͘L̸̙̠͎̓̆́O̷̧̘͚͉̤̓O̷̤̟̱̼̤͋̍͐R̷̰̝̓͌̌Ș̵̲̝̈́ "Excuse me?” You will paint this room red with the blood of management. You tap your foot again, and again, and again. “…Doctor?”

Your neck snaps in her direction, eyes wide and staring.

“The… uh… the lights are back.”

You blink at your patient—huh, she’s a goat. “I apologize,” you say, smiling. “Please, tell me, what brings you here in this hellish afternoon.”

She holds up her bleeding arm. “It’s been like this since the extermination,” she explains. “Some angle got me. Luckily, I was able to run off before I was finished. I thought it would heal on its own like it usually does but it just hasn’t. It keeps bleeding.”

“Well, angel-induced injuries are my specialty,” you say. Tucked away to the side, a mirror hangs. You catch your reflection, and you blow your hair away from your vision, your red sclerae “This will cost you. Injuries caused by angels are…difficult to stitch, but not impossible—not for me at least.”

“Oh, yes.” She bleats one more “Dear God, where are my manners? I’m sorry can I ask for your name?”

Your smile widens. “Of course. I’m—"

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure!” One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. It’s the bow you did in high school, back when you wanted theater to pay your bills. A performer’s bow.

You chuckle. “I don’t think it will be quite the pleasure you think.”

“Is that so?” Alastor’s smile remains constant. “And why would that be?”

You show him the tray you’re holding. “I’m here to do your sutures.” He steps closer to take a peek. You watch him as his eyes gloss over your matches then your needle driver, then the alcohol lamp. His smile wobbles when he lands on the syringe.

You move the tray, dropping it down on the little cart by the examination chair.

“There’s no need to worry.” You beam at him. “I have the steadiest hands in this city.”

“Hmmmm,” he says. “You must be the other doctor then.”

“Not at all.” You point to your uniform, where the initial ‘NP’ is embroidered next to your name. “Just the nurse practitioner.”

He takes a closer look and reads your name. “Then I have no reason to fret. None at all! In my experience, doctors usually have their noses buried in their books. It’s the nurses that actually get the hands-on experience.” Alastor’s hands move when he talks. “What’s such a talented practitioner doing in such a dinged-up clinic?”

“Management caught me in the morgue dissecting the dead—It’s how I practice my stitches.”

“Really, now?”

You bark a laugh. “Not at all—I’m far too smart to get caught.”

“A witty sense of humor and a steady hand! I am in good hands, indeed.”

You take a seat on the rolling stool. “Yes, yes,” you say, waving your wrist. “You make fine compliments, Sir. I’ll be sure to be extra gentle.” You point towards the examination chair. “But, please hurry to the chair. You’re dripping blood on my floor.”

Alastor glances down. His eyebrows furrow as he glares at where the blood seeps from his sleeve … almost… almost as if he’s angry. “My apologies,” he says, allowing his blood to drip to the floor.

Alastor shrugs off his coat. It’s rare to see such a dark red—only a few choose such a color. You hum. Alastor is a well-dressed gentleman. Lovely. Those are your favorite kind. He drapes his coat over the spare chair, ignoring the coat racks the clinic provides.

You turn away and wheel yourself closer to one of the drawers on the counter. It takes two attempts until you find the stash of sterile gloves. “Take your seat when you’re ready,” you say. “I’ll take a look once you are.” You place the gloves on the little green cart, right next to your tray.

Alastor takes his seat, landing with an audible ‘humph’. He smiles at you, sleeves rolled and arm ready. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

You hold your palm out. “May I?”

His smile wobbles—it’s a small change in expression that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking. “Of course.”

Along his forearm, a long and sharp cut wounds him. The sight of grime that covers the opened abrasions makes you inwardly cringe. You need to clean these as soon as possible. “Why was this not checked sooner?” You rest his hands on the armrest and use your foot to bring the cart closer. “This looks old, and not at all like a freshly deep cut. I prefer it when patients come to me with fresh wounds.”

You grab a bowl with distilled water and pour in a sterile solution. “I assumed it would heal on its own,” he tells you. “It was quite a surprise when it did not.”

“I need to clean this before you die of infection.” You dip his arm into the bowl. He remains silent, but you feel the tension of his muscles under your fingers. “Hopefully there will be no next time, but just in case, next time, please don’t wait a month.”

He laughs, and there, you faintly see it—a twitch in his eye. “It was only a week actually.”

You smile to yourself. “I’d prefer it if it was only a few hours.” You dry his arm with a soft towel, his arm still tensed underneath your touch. “There, much better.”  You release your hold to go to a shelf filled with different labeled vials and select the one you need. With the clean syringe, you draw the contents of the vial. “You’ll feel a bit of a pinch,” you say. You tap its side. “It’s morphine— wouldn’t want you screaming and writhing”

You study his face for a second. There’s just that same dismissively polite smile.

“You can look away if you wish,” you tell him. “It’s why we pin such…er…interesting decorations around…. May I?”

You feel it again when Alastor inches his arm closer. His muscles tense under your touch. It’s almost as if he wishes to pull away. You keep your hold feather-light, but firm.

“Are you a hunter by any chance?” you ask. You don’t prick him—not yet. Not when tension coils in your hold.

“You could describe it that way,” he says, chuckling like he’s told a humorous joke. (You don’t understand why.)

“I figured you were.”

Alastor slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You inject the morphine into his skin, right inside the soft pink tissue. Good. Alastor relaxes when he speaks, it seems. “I do love a good hunt,” he says. “How ever did you know.”

You release your hold and discard the syringe. “Your hands are rough,” you tell him. “And hunters always have this silly notion that injuries magically heal given enough time—along with farmers, actually. Although, farmers are usually much more deluded.”

He flashes that same polite smile. “I'm guessing you’re not a hunter then?”

“How ever did you know?”

You watch his eyes flicker to your palms as you re-arrange the needles. “Delicate hands.”

You flash the same polite smile right back at him. You take a match, and light the alcohol lamp.

Soap spreads all over your palms and up your arm as you scrub your hands. You slip your hands into the sterilized gloves, careful not to contaminate the surface. “I’ll begin now.”

Alastor hums in reply.

You take a scapple and pass it over the flame. You poke him, lightly, but he doesn’t react. Satisfied, you cut back fibrous tissue underneath the skin. You replace the scapple with a needle driver. There was a quiet click when you pinch the tiny curved needle. You pass it over the flame as well. “Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me how many stars are on that wall over there?

Alastor turns to look at you, but you block his eyes with your palm, shielding him from your stiches.

“The wall isn’t over here.”

“I assure you, I’m not afraid of a silly needle.”

“I’m sure you are,” you say. “However, you’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it. The last three people who said that took one look and started squirming. One even fainted. It makes your life miserable, and my job harder.

He counts.

“Out loud please.”

He does as he’s told, rather reluctantly.

Hands steady and determination set, you pierce the soft pink tissue with your needle The tissue nearest to the surface is always delicate. You’re certain not to catch any fat in your suture, for fat dies, and a loose stitch is useless. “Well, isn’t this fun!” he says. “I really feel nothing.”

Your concentration does not break. “I don’t remember there only being twenty-six stars. I’m positive there are more.”

“Why is someone as talented as you only a nurse practitioner?”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a nurse…,” you reply, tugging on the needle. “Well…we…. We certainly could be paid more.”

“Why not become an actual doctor then?”

“My father couldn’t afford it. He wouldn’t send me….and…hm…” You smoothly pull the suture thread and begin the next stitch. “And I enjoy this.”

He looks down at you. “Is this all you’ll be satisfied with?”

You focus back on your stitching, hiding your glare. You bring your needle underneath the flesh, making sure to catch the soft tissue. You’re doing an uncommon stitch, but it would be a shame to leave a scar. “You sound familiar.”

You pause to look at him, His smile brightens, and it actually looks like a genuine elated smile. “Why, I’m a radio broadcaster. You might have heard me there.”

“Oh yes...” you hum, turning back to your stitching. “Alastor... I remember now. The ladies and I listen to your broadcast as we do our crafts.”

“Knitting?”

“I personally prefer embroidery,” you say. “I get to practice my stitching and make beautiful art.” You pull the thread and begin a new one, stitching his skin like they were shoe laces. “You’re quite the humorous gentleman, I must say, and quite a lovely taste in music. We enjoy your broadcast very much”

“Do you have any of your artworks here?” he asks you. “I would be eager to see them.”

“Maybe next time.” You tug the suture, and his laceration snaps to a close. You tie a knot and snip the end. “Unfortunately, I’ve finished your stitches.”

“Next time then.”

You discard your gloves and go back to the shelf with the vials. You fill up another syringe. You jam the needle into his skin, not enough to hurt, just enough to scare him a bit. “To prevent infection.”

He jerks away from you. “What happened to that gentle touch of yours?”

“It’s still a sharp object, Sir. They tend to hurt.” You smirk and carefully clean the remaining blood on the skin around the sutured wound. You take a bandage from your cart and begin wrapping it around his forearm, covering your sutures. “Don’t forget to drink your pills every 8 hours, with a meal in your stomach, preferably. Replace the dressing every three days. You can come back here or if you’re able to do so, you can change them yourself. Any by the good God, please, visit the nearest hospital should this incident repeat.”

Alastor slides off the examination chair. He grabs his coat as if you didn’t just stitch him close. You start packing when you notice him fixing his bow tie, and smoothing his hair. Huh…There’s blood on his coat, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Like he’s used to having it there. Like it’s just something he’s learned to live with. “You were wrong by the way.”

“Pardon?”

“It was quite the pleasure to meet you.”

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Hello, welcome to the hell that's been plaguing my head. In case you didn't know Belphegor is the ruler of the sloth ring, and she seems to be in charge of medical-related stuff in Hell. I have the story mostly plotted out, it's just a matter of writing it down. If you have any questions, ask away

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #Hazbin hotel x reader #Alastor x reader #Alastor x wife!reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor x wife reader

[periprose]

Hi! :)

I’m craving some Logan Howlett angsty fluff and I really like your writing style… Do you think you could maybe do a fic where either Logan and reader are in the heat of the moment and his claws come out and he scratches her. Or where Logan has a nightmare and the same thing happens. Either way the reader ends up comforting him.

Thank you! 🩷 :)

Hi!! So sorry for getting to this so late 🥹 loved the idea btw :) ended up doing a bit of a mix of both? If that makes sense.

/

"Out with it."

Your voice rings out clearly among the X-Men, the throng of battle no longer around you all. It was a more exhausting battle than you would've thought, but nothing irks you more than knowing that Logan has been apparently thinking of you as someone to play babysitter to. He hadn't trusted you to make your final blow to the enemy, and instead scooped you away to safety before lashing out with his own claws.

Logan clearly has something to say to you, and you want to hear it. You're not going to let him escape again- the way he always does, nonchalantly, refusing to acknowledge how he treats you.

Charles stiffens next to you in the helicarrier. Watching the tension, feeling the palpable heart-wrenching sensation between you and Logan. He doesn't know how you got to this point.

"Listen. Just because you didn't have it doesn't mean you're not a good X-Man-" Logan starts dismissively.

"But I did! I did have it!" You shout back at him, and then inhale carefully. "Nobody told you to rescue me, Logan. If I was about to die, then I was. I wanted that to be on my own terms."

"Don't talk like you're a fucking martyr when you've never had the privilege, kid." Logan's unnecessarily harsh tone has you flinching. "Do you know how many people I've seen die, for no good reason? Do you really want a bunch of Pentagon psychos to be your last memory?"

"Shut up." You shift in your seat, feeling small. "We don't get to choose when we die. Not like you."

Logan becomes visibly angered with that, the little taunt you've made towards his immortality. "That doesn't mean you have to go seek it out, dumbass."

"Oh really? Don't tell me you're getting soft, Logan." You glare at him, and Charles and Jean and Scott look at each other uncertainly. "Just because your life is so long doesn't mean the rest of us have forgotten what it means to be alive."

There's an unspoken, sudden charge in the air, now that you've mentioned what everyone else has the good sense to shut up about- Logan having lived so long and not caring about the consequences of his actions. Logan's eyes narrow until you feel sure that you've pushed him too far this time- he looks more animal than human, more Wolverine than ever- and you feel yourself inching forward, letting the anger of not being understood push you to fighting him- and Charles suddenly raises his hand in protest.

"Please, you two. I'm not sure what has transpired today, but I know you are better than choosing to have a physical altercation on a helicarrier flight." His calm, soothing tone makes you feel a little disappointed in yourself, and you settle back in your seat, refusing to meet his or Jean's glances of concern.

/

All you really wanted was an apology. A "Sorry, I won't do that again." Or even an explanation for why Logan keeps tabs on you all the time, never letting you be a real part of the X-Men, always safely on the sidelines. Were you just too weak?

Should you even be here?

You feel guilty for what you said to him. It's not a bad thing, you know, that Logan doesn't want you to get hurt- it's just that you want to do your job. You're not a kid.

It almost, almost justifies how you treated him, but even you know that was too far. You can't act as if you know Logan's life story- not even Charles or Jean would claim to do that, and they've searched his mind for memories several times.

Like it or not, the man was mysterious. He kept to himself on a lot of things, citing past hurt as his reason why- and you should've respected that.

"Maybe I am weak." You mutter to yourself, wondering why you can't restrain your emotions around Logan.

You're practicing shooting small, psionic blasts towards the target in your room- it's a great way to pass the time when you can't sleep- when you hear a groan, a shudder, an angry, deep growl-

It sounds like Logan. His room is right above yours, and the sounds are definitely coming from there- you hear him yell, and before you can stop yourself, you're bounding up the stairs to the third floor of the X-Mansion, bursting through his room's door with a ready hand, in case you need to fight.

/

Logan watches as you berate him in his dream.

Actually, it's not quite you- it's some venomous, evil, witch wearing your face. You giggle at him- you call him old- you don't take him seriously.

With every taunt, you fire another bright purple blast at him- and for once, his body doesn't heal instantaneously. He is getting old, getting hurt, watching as blood pools out of him. It's agonizingly painful.

He's going to die this time, without making it right with you- he's afraid that you're right about him, that he's a washed up sad old man who can't ever let people in.

"We don't need you anymore, Logan..." The not-you whispers softly, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, and Logan can't help but believe it.

His self preservation instincts kick in, and he launches forward, snarling, claws out with a sharp snikt sound. He feels that even though he'll regret your death, he'll miss you immensely, it's just one more tally mark to several others.

/

"Logan. Logan!"

You're leaning over Logan's sweaty, clammy body in his bed. You watch as his hands fist in the sheets, and he tosses and turns in agony- you breathe in hesitation, in fear that he's not going to be okay- he grunts suddenly, and you're reminded of how Rogue tells you about his nightmares. They're frequent.

How out of touch could you have been today?

You gently-yet-firmly grab Logan's arm, shaking, and his arms move forward in a self-defense mechanism that seems practiced, as if he's been attacked in his sleep before, and before you can move away, there's a sharp snikt sound, a quick wave of claws, and a searing pain in your side.

It all happens before you can even blink. You fall off to the side, on the floor, writhing in pain. Logan's claws just nicked your side, it's essentially a scratch- but the pain is so much worse than you're expecting, and you fall to the floor again as you try to get up.

You breathe in harshly, holding back a sob, as you feel wet blood pooling through the side of your night dress.

"Jesus Christ." Logan pounces off the bed, waking to blood all over his claws, and he's leaning over your body, as you blink up at him hesitantly. He immediately panics, lifting you up and resting you on his squatted thighs. "Kid! Hey, kid, don't close your eyes-"

"..." You're just barely hanging on, but you listen.

And Logan feels that same sense of shame he felt when he attacked Rogue, when Jean "died", every single time he had accidentally unsheathed his claws towards someone who didn't deserve it.

Doubly so, considering it's like his terrible nightmare has come to life. But you absolutely didn't do anything wrong- he can't believe he was so angry with you.

He calls for help, in a slightly broken tone, and no one seems to be coming.

"Just a scratch." You try, but Logan shakes his head.

"No, no, no." Logan spits out. "How could I- I never meant to-"

"I'm sorry, Logan." You cough, and Logan feels awful that you're apologizing while bleeding out due to his actions. "I shouldn't have said what I said. You're not some unreliable old man who doesn't care..."

You flinch at a sudden, sharp pain, and Logan motions for you to stop talking, but you keep going.

"If anything, you're the opposite. You're there for me. And I'm sorry that I got so... so angry at you for that." You mutter to yourself, not aware of how Logan hangs onto your words. "You're protecting me from making mistakes, and I'm grateful."

"No, kid. You had a point before." Logan interjects, but you shake your head.

"Did I? Or was I being a brat?" You grimace at yourself.

"You did have a point. I was being selfish," Logan shakes his head and then swallows that urge to push you away. "I don't always know how to leave people well enough alone. Sometimes I'm too much."

He hesitates, and then continues on. "Like, I treat you as if you're a nuisance, right? But I always... I always want you next to me. And I know I should just sort my shit out like an adult. But I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Of what happens. What always happens." Logan sighs in defeat. "I fall in love, and they die. I find my people, and they leave me because I'm such a jackass. There's too much surrounding me that just... ruins everything."

"No, no. I won't leave." You tighten your hand around Logan's, and he, despite wanting to say that you're wounded because of him, believes you. He's so grateful to hear you say it- he had no idea that's what was weighing on him so badly.

He loves you, he knows he does. Logan has never been the best with feelings, but for once, he's glad he was honest.

The first thing Scott sees when he finally makes his way to Logan's room, from all the way across the X-Mansion, is Logan whispering "I'm sorry," and... he thinks (he's not 100% sure), "I love you," to your very forlorn, softly curved-around-him body.

It's a very tender moment, and Scott feels he should leave.

Then Logan presses a firm, shaky kiss on your forehead, and then your lips, and you, with your limited reserve of energy, kiss him back, and then Scott interjects with:

"Hey!...?"

He seems taken aback as you both look at him. "I heard screaming? What is this, some sort of weird cult sacrificial scenario?"

"Logan... had a... nightmare..." You wince, and Scott sees the red on your night gown. "I need... medical attention."

"On it." Scott glances at Logan for permission, and he's currently trying to push all these mushy feelings back into his chest where they belong, and he wants to be there to help you in the clinic, but he's flustered with everything that's happened and he can only hand you to Scott without looking at him.

Scott smirks to himself as he runs you to the clinic of the X-Mansion.

"You and Logan, huh? I knew there was something in that fight today." Scott remarks as you cling to him.

"It's taken an embarrassingly long time for me to figure it out, but yeah." You blush. "Has everyone else...?"

"Jean's been running a bet for the last year." Scott laughs. "She says you both are two sides of the same coin."

You can't help but agree.

#logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett angst #logan howlett x you #wolverine x you #wolverine x reader #wolverine #old man logan #wolverine angst #james logan howlett x reader #marvel x reader #xmen x reader #x men x reader #x-men #x-men x reader #x-men angst #ask #requests

[xjulixred45x]

OKAY MY LAST INVINCIBLE POST BEFORE DEDICATING TO REQUESTS FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH DON'T KILL ME! THIS TIME IT'S FLUFF!

Mark Grayson/Invincible x Starfire!Reader

Imagine being an alien similar to DC's Starfire, you can follow the original line of the character (I follow more than anything the one from the comics or the 2003 series) where your planet was conquered by another race (thanks to your sister) Or you can go the more "family friendly" line, which is that you decided to explore the world outside your home planet but ended up in the hands of some kind of intergalactic trafficking network.

I imagine that if it is the first case, it is most likely that your race has been conquered by the Viltrumite themselves, which caused a MASSACRE to occur from which you and your sister were miraculously able to escape.

Regardless of what you choose, you ended up on Earth, although having gone through great traumatic events, so when you see this new world, with a strange species, you begin to attack by mere instinct (like what Starfire did in the first chapter of Teen Titans)

That's when Mark or rather INVINCIBLE appears.

He tries to fight you at first, get you away from the civilians, that is until he realizes how scared you are (especially if we're talking about the case of the Viltrumite invasion and you realize that Mark IS a Viltrumite). So he tries to change his strategy and try to calm you down as much as he can.

When he succeeds, he ends up taking you to the Globe's guardians to see what to do. I imagine that you are a little different than the original Starfire, you are more scared and defensive in this situation, at first you only trusted Mark.

For this reason, Cecil decides that you will stay in the Pentagon until they know what to do with you. Mark helps you learn the "normal" things of the Earth and show Cecil that you are not a threat.

(if you had to learn the human language by "lip contact" the whole team definitely makes fun of Mark a little for being in love now).

Imagine Mark and Eve bringing you clothes to try on!🥺Eve probably just created it out of nowhere, but she also brings clothes that her parents give her that she doesn't want and for some reason you like.

Mark offers to help you train! At first he tries to go easy on you, but when you almost knock him out with your laser beams, he learns his lesson.

He definitely takes you out to eat junk food! More when he realizes that the Pentagon's food doesn't help you much because of your big appetite. Mark was surprised at how much food you could eat but luckily Cecil pays for it (just don't tell him yet🤫)

Definitely one of Mark's favorite things about you, when you're over the trauma, is your innocent attitude, even after all, you're very bubbly and friendly. which is at least difficult to find in your line of work, so he wants to keep that part of yourself as much as possible.

Mark definitely took you to meet his mother, at first he was a little nervous that she wouldn't accept you after what happened with his father, but surprisingly Debbie took it very well.

Thanks to this you were able to learn more about the culture of the Earth, you constantly asked Debbie about the places she had seen, what they were like and their culture (even some anecdotes about Mark when he was a child), and with your bubbly and youthful attitude she did not It was difficult for Debbie to warm to you easily.

Apart from that it helped you fall in love with the Earth quite quickly, see its beauty for yourself, which encouraged you to be your own version of a hero.

When you want to become a heroine, Mark enters into an internal conflict. On the one hand, he KNOWS very well that you don't want someone to make decisions for you, he respects that, but on the other hand, he is TERRIFIED by the possibility that you will get hurt, captured, or lose COMPLETLY your being or worse, DIE.

It is probably thanks to this conversation that you two become a couple.

In general, at first Mark tries to do your first patrols with you to teach you the basics, then he lets you do whatever you want, and he is SO PROUD when you beat someone.

"THAT IS MY GIRL!" kind of proud.

He definitely really likes flying with you and just wandering, at least he feels like there you two have more privacy. Apart from that he likes how you look in your element. according to him.

If you talk about the first case of origin that I mentioned at the beginning and your sister comes back, Mark sees through ALL the red flags and will be the first to warn you about her, since he went through something similar with his family, you don't want to go through that.

If both fight together, POWER COUPLE. LITERAL. You have certain skills that Mark doesn't, so they complement each other very well.

If Mark gets hurt, you go into RAMPAGE MODE and honestly? Mark doesn't know if he should be scared or more in love. or excited.

If YOU get hurt GOD HELP US, MARK IS ANGRY---someone is going to have a bad time. And You a Lot of cuddles.

Overall, both of them are like two Golden Retrievers being happy together.

@clemberryfriends

Shares, reglogs, and comments are very welcome

#invincible #invincible x reader #mark grayson x reader #mark grayson #invincible imagine #imagine invincible #drabble #fem reader #invincible season 2 #invincible show #invincible series #invincible spoilers

[jinkoh]

love letters

Hongseok x reader

Tags: light angst, hurt/comfort, g/n reader, established relationship, implied mental illness, domestic fluff

word count: ~1,5k

@seohotonin requested Hongseok with prompt 33 from this post: The way you said "I love you"— On a post-it note.

a/n: I felt like maybe we could all use some comfort in these trying times 🥲

thank you so much for requesting! <3 I hope you enjoy this small story~

Masterlist

Hongseok had never made a secret of his feelings for you. He showed you how much he loved you in everything he did and he liked telling you too. There was just something about the way your eyes lit up when he said those three words that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But Hongseok didn't just like telling you that he loves you, he was also pretty good at knowing when you needed to hear it the most.

It wasn't that you weren't confident in his feelings for you. But from time to time when life got tough you just needed a little extra reassurance and Hongseok was more than happy to provide that for you.

Sadly both you and Hongseok had pretty busy work schedules at times. So even when he wanted to be with you and shower you with love all the time, it wasn't always possible.

So the solution Hongseok came up with were little sticky notes. Whenever he couldn't be around he left them all over your shared flat:

On the nightstand

Good morning :]

The bathroom mirror

You're my favorite person :]

The fridge

Have a yummy breakfast

The front door

Get to work safely!! >:[

And then when you were at work, still feeling exhausted and drained, you'd find one in the journal you always brought from home:

I love you ♡

He wasn't sure if these notes helped you at all but he hoped they could provide some comfort. At least he knew you must have found them, since they had always already disappeared by the time he returned home.

Even if it was just something small, Hongseok liked doing these things. Hongseok liked taking care of you, that's just the kind of person he was.

What didn't come so easy to him was letting others take care of him too. He wanted to be strong for you; he took pride in being able to protect you. He wasn't supposed to need protection or care.

And yet, these days he wasn't quite feeling like himself.

Maybe work drained him too much or maybe he was just feeling a little under the weather. Somehow things just felt so difficult.

He wanted to be his usual caring self. He wanted to make coffee in the morning and he wanted to cut up apples for you and he wanted to cuddle and comfort you.

But these days it was already so hard to get out of bed in the mornings.

He barely managed to even eat at all.

And when he cuddled with you in bed, rather than comforting you he felt as if he was holding onto you for dear life, seeking comfort himself.

Of course you’d noticed. And more than anything you wanted to be there with him and help him through it.

Because he did the same for you.

Because you loved him.

But it wasn't like you could call in sick— your boss already didn't like you and questioned everything you did. So as much as it pained you, you had to go to work, leaving Hongseok alone at your shared flat.

Before you left you tugged one of his cookie monster plushies into his embrace and left a kiss on his forehead. He barely noticed, drifting in and out of sleep after a restless night.

He didn't really wake up until way later. It was already past noon when he decided it was time to keep his eyes open and start his day.

Blearily he reached for his phone on the nightstand. But instead of his phone his hands found a little piece of paper. He held it up to his eyes in confusion.

good morning, hongi♡

He immediately recognized your handwriting, his eyes welling up with tears at the sweet gesture.

Reading your little message, it was a little easier to leave bed and go to the bathroom. He wasn't feeling like showering but maybe he could at least brush his teeth.

When he looked into the mirror he was faced with his own reflection. It was himself but it also wasn't. He looked so tired and done. He looked like such a pain to have around.

But then he noticed the little sticky note that was stuck on the mirror:

you're looking at my favorite person right now♡ (better be nice to him!!)

He felt his heart swell with fondness. When he looked back at his own reflection now, he tried to be a little kinder— for you.

He still looked tired and done. But he got out of bed! And even if Hongseok struggled to understand it right now, it was clear that you didn't think of him as a pain to be with.

Of course, a small sticky note couldn't be a fix-it-all, but Hongseok felt a little better. Less like a lost cause.

He brushed his teeth. He even washed his face and put on fresh clothes.

When he was done, his stomach was rumbling. Maybe he could get something easy from the kitchen?

It didn't take long for him to notice the little note on the fridge.

please eat something delicious, my love♡

He smiled to himself before opening the fridge. Inside he found a little plate with cut up apples, another sticky note attached to it:

an apple a day~

And then a small breakfast bowl with another one:

it's all your favorites :] (and lots of protein)

He took out both, already feeling like crying again from how much these gestures moved him.

When he sat down to eat, spotting the note on the table, the tears spilled out for real.

i love you♡

He wasn't sure how he deserved you. He'd felt so guilty for not being there for you these days. He'd felt so terrible and like such a nuisance.

And yet, you showered him with nothing but love and affection.

After eating, he curled up on the couch under thick blankets, watching some random show on TV, only to notice that on the coffee table too was a little note:

i love you♡

When he took a closer look around the flat, he noticed there was another one on the window.

One in the hallway.

The front door.

The book shelf.

Your pillow.

As if you had really, really wanted to make sure that the message reached him. No matter how his day went, no matter what he did and whether or not he saw the other notes, he should at least know that you love him.

He was still feeling emotional about it by the time you came back from work. He'd gone back to bed, but he was less miserable than he was in the morning. 

You greeted him with a smile, immediately wrapping him in a hug. You wanted to pull away again but Hongseok didn't let you. He held onto you tightly, burying his face in your shoulder.

"Are you okay, Hongi?" You carefully asked, your hands running up and down his back in slow movements.

"Yeah, I'm o—" He interrupted himself, realizing that maybe it was okay to admit it wasn't exactly true. "I'm better."

You hummed in response, holding him a little closer.

"Y/n?"

"Mmh?"

"Thank you for today."

You chuckled softly. "Of course."

"No, it's not— it's not a given," he insisted, his face still buried in your neck. "I don't know how I deserve that."

You pushed away a bit to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"How you deserve that?" You shook your head. "You don't need to deserve it. You don't need to earn anything. I love you so I want to be there for you."

"Besides," you let go of him to pull out a journal from your nightstand.

You motioned for Hongseok to scoot over a bit and sat down next to him in bed, before handing him the small book.

"You deserve it plenty, Hongseok."

Confused, he took the journal from you and carefully opened it.

Love letters it said on the first page, unmistakably in your handwriting.

He started turning the pages just to find all his little sticky notes that he'd written for you, neatly glued into the journal. Small good morning’s and i love you’s littered the pages.

He turned to look at you with wide eyes. "You kept them?"

"Of course I kept them." You leaned your head against his shoulder. "You know, whenever I see your notes around the flat I immediately feel better. And when I have a bad day or need some courage I can always look into my journal. It helps. It really helps."

You absentmindedly moved your hand to his, gently tracing the lines with your fingers. "I wanna be there for you like that too. You also deserve to be taken care of, Hongseok.”

He wrapped his hand around yours, squeezing lightly.

"Thank you."

"Always"

"I love you, y/n."

"I love you too.”

Masterlist

#if you ever request something from me and you really really don't want it to be hurt/comfort better tell me fhdjsfhkd #even the fluffiest or funniest prompt could turn into h/c if you dont stop me #hongseok x reader #pentagon x reader #pentagon fanfic #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #pentagon headcanons #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop headcanons #kpop reactions #hongseok x y/n #pentagon fluff #hongseok fluff #yang hongseok #pentagon hongseok #kpop #kpop writing #pentagon reactions #pentagon fic #kpop fic #kebbis.writing #requested

[softgreengrass]

I’ll Survive

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: happy then sad then happy, requested, supersoldier!r but it’s not relevant to plot

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: death, grief

A/N: thanks for the request!

You and Natasha are in the gym when FRIDAY calls a meeting.

“Come on, is that all you got?” she grins, leaning into the punching bag with all her weight.

You fire a few more jabs, and her feet slip back a little. Sweat rolls down your forehead.

“Attention, all,” FRIDAY’s voice rings out. “Mission briefing in the conference room. 10 minutes.”

You don’t stop your barrage of punches, your eyes locked onto the Avengers logo in the center of the bag.

“You sure you’re ready to get back into it?” Natasha asks.

You’ve been coming off of an injury for a few months now. Bad intel, a trap, a bullet straight through your femur — being on bedrest was your seventh circle of hell.

Instead of answering, you wind your fist back and hit the bag hard enough to send it flying across the room, taking Natasha with it. She slams against the wall and laughs.

You wipe your face with a towel before walking over and kicking the bag away from her. “Sorry.”

“Super soldiers,” she mutters, shaking her head.

You offer her a hand. She takes it, rising to her feet, and leans into your chest. Butterflies shoot through your stomach.

“You sure you’re ready?” she asks softly.

“Yeah.”

Her eyes flick down to your lips, and you pull her into a slow kiss. Her hands find the back of your neck, lace through your hair. It only lasts a few seconds before she swipes her foot behind your leg and shoves your shoulders hard.

You land flat on your back with a groan.

“10 minutes, killer,” she smirks. “And don’t ever do that again.”

You’re the last one in the conference room, and there are no seats left around the table. Cap shoots you a disapproving glance as you close the door behind you.

“Hope no one made any weekend plans,” Cap clears his throat. “Because we’re heading to Russia.”

Tony groans obnoxiously. “Come on, really?”

The holographic screen suspended above the table turns on, showing the floor plans of the Kremlin. Everyone falls silent.

“This isn’t a villain of the week, guys,” Steve sighs. “Hell, it’s not even HYDRA.”

You whistle, and Rhodey glares at you.

“As far as we can tell, the Russian government is doing this entirely of their own accord. The only one pulling the strings is Putin.”

“What are they doing?” Clint asks, leaning back in his chair.

“They want to put nukes in space.” Steve presses his clicker and the screen shows the earth and a dozen orbits around it. “That’s a one-way ticket to world war three.”

“And you want us to, what, eat the nukes?” Tony asks.

Cap clenches his jaw. “The Department of Defense wants us to make sure they don’t launch. My plan makes sure Putin won’t ever get the chance to.”

“You want to assassinate him?” Natasha asks quickly.

Steve faces her. “I want you to.”

Your eyes meet Natasha’s through the projection, and you swallow.

“He’s gotta be the most well-protected guy on the planet,” Bruce says.

“That’s a suicide mission!” Clint cries.

“Which is why we’re all going,” Steve says, in that authoritative old man tone that shuts everyone up. “Banner’s right. It’s going to take all of us just to get a chance.”

“Pretty sure assassinating the Russian president is an act of war,” you say. “Number two in command is just gonna send those nukes up and point them straight at the Pentagon.”

Everyone is quiet for a moment. Then they turn towards Steve.

“Which is why I have a plan,” he says firmly.

You don’t like it one bit. Not one bit. Natasha, undercover for two weeks without comms. Clint posing as a diplomat. The rest of you hunkered underground, waiting for the right moment to invade the Kremlin. It’s almost recklessly risky. And yet, Steve has his full faith in it, which means the rest of you do too.

That night, Natasha holds onto you tightly. She’s terrified to go back there, regardless of what she says. It’s worse than going after one cell, or even the Red Room itself. It’s the man behind the curtain who’s been controlling it all.

“It’s going to go fine,” she murmurs, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you further into her.

“It is,” you say. You take her hands and press them into your sternum. You’d only succeeded in being the big spoon a couple times — never when she was stressed. So you stare at the wall. “I mean it.”

“Me too,” her breath fans against the back of your neck. “We’ve done harder things before, haven’t we?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you exhale. “I mean, aliens? AI? Bruce when he’s hungry?”

She laughs, and that eases some of the pressure on your heart. “Worst case, I’ll survive.”

“You always do.”

“I always do,” she smiles. “And best case, I take care of him, you get rid of the cabinet, and Steve slides in his new leader. And we get out of there and go to… I don’t know. The Dominican Republic.”

“The Dominican Republic?”

“Why not?” she kisses your shoulder. “A vacation. Moscow’ll be a pretty intense way to get back into the action. You’ll deserve a break.”

“I’ve been on a break for three months,” you snort.

“Oh come on, you don’t want a piña colada? Palm trees? White sand beaches?”

“Well when you put it like that,” you say, turning around to face her. “I guess we could go to the Dominican Republic.”

She smiles, tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Promise?”

You could stare into the green of her eyes forever. “Promise.”

Not three weeks later, you sit staring at a computer screen in a bunker a hundred feet below Red Square. Tony sits to your left. There’s no point in watching the feed, since all of the cameras are outside of the Kremlin and Natasha walked in an hour ago, but you can’t help it. You feel powerless.

For ten days, Natasha has been Alina Konstantinovna Petrova, a middle-aged politician who just got back from a stint in Belarus. When she emerged wearing the nanotech mask for the first time, you genuinely didn’t recognize her. Her voice, her gait, her mannerisms — all changed. Sometimes you forget she’s the world’s greatest spy.

But with no comms and no tracker, all you have is your faith in that fact. Just your trust in her.

If she’s on schedule, she should be having tea with the Prime Minister, but really she could be anywhere, doing anything. There’s absolutely no way for you to know.

“You know,” Wanda sighs, tipping back in her office chair and tossing a tennis ball into the air. “I don’t think all of us had to be here.”

“Agreed,” Tony grumbles. “I was supposed to be at a gala right now.”

“Do you think-”

“Quiet!” Steve orders, narrowing his eyes at the screen. “Do you see that? Is that smoke?”

You lean closer. It is smoke, pouring out of a second-floor window, and it makes your stomach drop.

Steve taps into the emergency comms in Clint’s ear. “Is there a fire? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Clint’s voice replies, hushed. “I don’t know, they put us into a ballroom. I don’t know where she is.”

“Shit,” Steve mutters.

“What do we do?” you ask, rising to your feet.

Steve grimaces. “If… if we make contact now, she won’t have a shot. It’ll all be for nothing.”

“The Kremlin isn’t usually on fire,” you snap.

“I’m sure she can handle it,” he glares back. His voice is dangerously quiet when he speaks again. “She knows what’s on the line here.”

But five minutes later, the smoke hasn’t stopped. It’s spread. Clint and the other diplomats are being evacuated.

You keep your eyes glued to the feed, scanning for Alina Petrova’s face among the crowd. She never emerges, but neither do the Prime Minister or cabinet. Maybe there’s a hidden exit.

Just when it seems like the fire is coming under control and the chaos is cooling, the cameras cut out.

You rush for the exit immediately, Tony and Steve right on your heels. Your entire body goes numb as you climb the ladder.

It’s probably fine, you think, hands squeezing the rungs too tight. The fire burned a power line, or the government stopped the footage to protect their image. She’s fine. She’s fine.

You heave the manhole cover out of place with your shoulder, hoisting yourself onto the street and ignoring the pedestrians who stare at you.

It’s absolute pandemonium. There’s a crater where half of the Kremlin used to be, and the other half is engulfed in flames. You sprint towards it.

Steve immediately shouts after you, but all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears.

Maybe there’s a hidden exit. She had to have noticed the fire, she would’ve escaped, she would’ve made it out. She would’ve.

The police that are always stationed around the Kremlin make a border around it, though no one except you is trying to go towards the burning building.

“Ostanavis’!” they yell, but you hurdle their makeshift barricade.

If she was on schedule, she would’ve been on the east side, top floor. The heat doesn’t even register in your mind.

You root through rubble as fast as you can, barely noticing when Wanda and Steve join you in your search. Smoke stings your eyes and fills your lungs until you can barely choke out a breath.

There are heaps of ash that might’ve once been people, might’ve once been Natasha.

You climb trembling supports to get to the second floor: there are bones there, even fragments of medals and jewelry. The farther you get from the crater the less charred the bodies become. But you can only get so close to the live blaze, and none of the bodies are hers. The skin on your hands begins to blister from red-hot ash and metal.

At some point Steve pulls you away, ignores the way you claw at him and scream that you won’t leave her. The three of you (Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey had been wise enough to run away from flaming wreckage) end up in a Russian prison, charged as enemies of the state responsible for the fire and ensuing blast.

By the time the Department of Defense negotiates you out, you’ve convinced yourself that Natasha must’ve escaped. There’s no other option. She couldn’t die. If you didn’t find her, she couldn’t have been there. She must’ve gotten out.

But when you walk into SHIELD’s Moscow base, she isn’t there. It’s only Fury and Clint.

“Where is she?” you ask, rushing towards them. Everyone else seems to slip out of the room.

Fury’s eyes stay trained on you, swimming with something you don’t want to decipher. Your heart pounds against your chest

“Where is she?”

“She’s dead,” Clint says, his voice raw.

“No,” you respond immediately. “No, she isn’t.”

He closes his eyes.

No. You see a flash of her smile, of the jacket she loved. You feel the ghost of her touch on your face.

“I thought she faked it,” Fury says after a moment. “But… we made a deal a few years ago. If one of us faked it again we’d leave something behind so the other would know. A ring.”

You’ve never heard his voice so weak before. Somehow it’s scarier than anything else.

“But there was no ring,” he clears his throat. “Just this.”

He holds out his hand, opens it. The necklace you gave Natasha last year is bunched up on his palm, dark with soot. Your knees almost give out. She never takes it off, not to sleep or train or go undercover. She would never leave it behind.

Reality dawns on you like an awful black wave. Natasha is dead.

“I’m sorry,” Fury says, resting a hand on your shoulder. You can’t feel it. Every breath, every blink is manual now, every movement an act of will.

Worst case, I’ll survive.

You just want to hug her again. Just see her face one more time, knowing it’ll be the last. Suddenly a deep red rage fills your vision, and your muscles twitch to strangle whoever set the fire, whoever planted the bomb.

“There was no body?” you ask hoarsely. You can’t tear your eyes from the necklace.

Fury shakes his head. “Ash.”

A lump forms in your throat that won’t leave for weeks. You feel like you’re looking at everything through frosted glass, frozen in the moments that you just held. It’s like you’ve been caught in a spiderweb.

You don’t cry until you set foot inside her room at the compound. Everything is just how she left it, like she just stepped out. Like she’ll come back any second now.

The covers on her bed are rumpled.

You can’t wrap your kind around the fact that she could be gone, vanished into thin air, reduced to dust. That she’ll never touch anything again. You sit down on the floor and hug your knees.

For a few days you don’t eat; you don’t speak for longer. The gaping hole in your chest churns and twists in an agonizing way. Every night you dream of refusing Steve’s plan, or going up as soon as you saw the smoke, or doing anything except sitting idly while she burned alive.

You’re at Steve’s throat often enough that Tony kicks you both out of the compound. It’s not like either of you are of use, anyways. The others manage to channel their sorrow into work. You don’t.

Clint takes time off, too. Laura manages to convince you it’ll be good.

But with nothing to distract you, you feel the pain of every passing moment. Every minute that you get older and she doesn’t. You don’t want to have to think of a life without her in it.

Weeks or months into your dull gray blur of a life, someone knocks on your door. You hope it’s not Steve. You don’t know if it’s the season, but you could spring for a box of Thin Mints.

It’s not a girl scout. It’s Natasha.

Your eyes go wide; your face pales. Nanotech mask? Clone? “A-Are you real?”

She wheezes out your name, keeps her hands clutched to her side.

“Is it really you?” you ask, your eyes welling with tears and your hands trembling as you reach out to touch her.

“I missed you,” she breathes, her eyes roaming your face.

She has a black eye and a split lip. It’s her. You drink in the green of her eyes and the red of her hair and the softness of her face and you can’t keep the sobs from escaping. She crashes into your arms, ignoring the throbbing pain in her ribs. She smells like sweat and home.

Natasha is crying too, shaking, her face hidden in your chest. You close your eyes and tilt your head down to rest your lips on her head.

“You’re hurt,” you say when you remember how to speak.

She pulls away and kisses you deeply. It feels like God blessing you, even if it tastes like blood. She’s real. You don’t let go of her until she gently pushes you away.

“We should go inside,” she whispers.

You’re in a daze for half an hour, while you wrap her ribs and bandage the gash on her arm. She doesn’t leave your gaze for one second. When you’re finally satisfied that she won’t drop dead, you collapse onto the couch next to her.

She climbs on top of you, pulls you close.

“They were onto me,” she murmurs into your hair. “I had to escape, I couldn’t let them think I was alive.”

Anger roars in your chest. “I’m not losing you again.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to kill them,” you growl, wrapping your arms around her securely.

“I’ll help,” she says, and you can hear the smile in her voice. “They’re probably coming here.”

“You were followed?”

“I wanted to see you,” she sighs. “I didn’t take all the precautions.”

You laugh and bury your face into the crook of her neck. “You think we can go to the Dominican Republic after?”

“I’ll break up with you if we don’t.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #angst #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #mcu #natasha x reader #fluff