#like i am incapable of those feelings entirely. real or fiction i just do not feel those things.

[kissimirrit]

this is from my irl account but i felt like i needed this as a psa on my main too. i thought everyone was kinda in on the joke and knew it was a bit, but i guess not apparently?

rest of the thread is just me lengthly rambling about how tohru ended up being such a comfort character but that wasn’t important.

so tl;dr the exaggeratedly way i go about declaring tohru as my waifu is long-running bit i’ve done for years, and i wrongly assumed that this was obvious to everyone.

#i think this bit is very fun to do because of how perfectly it lines up and i've done it for about 5 years now but #i get very severely uncomfortable when people assume i'm actually romantically or sexually attracted to her #like i am incapable of those feelings entirely. real or fiction i just do not feel those things. #i felt the need to clarify this because 2 of my other coworkers were talking about what they'd do if their anime guy crushes were real #and one of them brought up tohru and joked about her throwing my asexuality out the window (they know im aroace) #and i had to be like 'uhh no no actually if she were real she's the kind of person i'd absolutely never want to be in a relationship with' #and they were like kind of surprised i didn't actually want to date or do things with her? #i thought it was just obvious it was a joke because of how ridiculously exaggeratedly i play into the 'WAIFU 4 LAIFU' stereotype for laughs

[lady-phasma]

So, I’ve been seeing the different takes on Aemond’s softness and I haven’t been able to sit down and get this out correctly until now. I do like your idea that he should be more than one dimensional but I do have to disagree about him being incapable of being soft or wanting soft things and in this essay… 😂 but really –

Despite my attraction to Ewan Mitchell and in turn, Aemond, I feel like I am Aemond. I understand him a bit or maybe I’m making the pieces fit but I’m not playing the pity card or looking for brownie points, just that I think I get him. I was born to a mother who never wanted children and didn’t want to be married to my father, it was shortlived. I grew up with a half brother who has my last name but none of the blood and there is strife in our family because I hated it, when I was a child I told my mom that I didn’t want my last name on his tombstone and begged her to change it or make him change it before he could die with my name, but it was also her married name and despite being divorced, she wanted to maintain the “family unit.” I am vindictive to what my mom calls is the point of ruthlessness, even for my own family members. I don’t take disrespect lightly, I don’t forgive easily and I hold grudges incredibly well. I can be mean and selfish, especially if I feel like you’re undeserving. When I am threatened, I change and that person will do whatever it takes to survive the threat. I have grown up in an environment that has told me I must always be on guard, always expect people to want to hurt or take from me to benefit themselves, and not to trust anyone but myself. I have wanted comfort, softness, unconditional love, understanding and a place but the world told me those things only exists in fairytales. I have an exterior that is already difficult to break through but once you’ve made me angry or done something I don’t like, that exterior becomes impossible to break. My softness and fragility exists but not everyone is deserving of it, not even to see it or know it exists sometimes but the few who have managed to get past my armor, walls and defenses – it is given to them freely. I will do anything I can for those who have proven my environment and upbringing to be wrong, I try to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves but it’s because I’m healing. I used to resent those who were weaker than me and asked for help, I resented those I thought stronger than me who asked for more than what they got because I didn’t get what I needed so why should anyone else. I didn’t think I was allowed to be soft and didn’t think anyone else was allowed either because why should they if I didn’t? But as I’ve gotten older and continue to learn new perspectives, I’m evolving – it’s human nature and that’s what I see in Aemond. I see the inner child who is still angry, sad and hurt who desperately wants the affection he was denied by those who should’ve been the warmest and safest haven for him. I understand the lack of social and emotional development that drives his hatred and I genuinely believe he wants to be softer whilst also being afraid of trusting anyone with his needs because he thinks they’ll judge him or tell folks so instead he becomes fearsome, acting like he’s above it all so he doesn’t get hurt again. Whilst I know he’s a fictional character, I also know that if he were real, his emotions would be complex and he would carry so much damaging trauma that would take time to heal but could still be healed. I just recently experienced joy and laughter I haven’t known in years and I didn’t know it was still possible. My entire life still happened, my cruelty still exists, my bitterness, rage and hurt can still inform my decisions and relationships, I have trauma that can’t be explained and there are people who think I am the one taking things too far or being too sensitive but I still crave soft things, soft love and a soft life. Life has taught me it’s not entirely possible but it’s not impossible. That is why I think Aemond could be a teddy bear for the right people, why I think he would make allowances for those he loves in private that would go against his public reputation and it’s why I think he deserves it. I don’t think he’s innocent and never will be, like I am not and will not be, but I don’t think he’s heartless either. Hurt people hurt people but almost every hurt can be healed.

Thank you so very much for sharing this, anon. 💜 I won't be able to address every point you brought up but I think my answer to the larger picture here may surprise you.

Also I have to add the PSA that therapy is wonderful and I see my therapist once or twice a month and have for years. Please continue to work on yourself if you have started because Aemond wasn't fortunate enough to have psychologists in Westeros (that's not a joke).

If the ask wasn't enough, here's a trigger warning: non-specific discussion of trauma and ptsd.

I have PTSD and see a lot of myself in Aemond, can empathize with him in many ways. I choose to indulge that part of the character that I relate to in my Helaemond fics. I can understand that what I want him to be isn't what he is as Ewan portrays him in the series. My Helaemond fics are a way for me to explore those aspects even if they aren't my actual headcanon. That is the space I use to write soft Aemond. I even go so far as to reframe his experience at the brothel so that Helaena is the only person Aemond has ever had sex with.

I understand how it feels to connect deeply with a character when they seem to represent me. However, in this example, I remember that I haven't had Aemond's experiences and he hasn't had mine. I do my absolute best to not project my life onto him. The main reason I bring up how I see that Aemond's softness is exaggerated by some fics and art is because I think it can be healthy to use fiction as an emotional exercise but not everyone is as self-aware as others and might not know that by crafting a canon character into what they need emotionally they are skewing the fandom toward something far from the mark. As an example, I am very self-aware that I might write a version of Aemond as self-soothing but I compartmentalize that in my Helaemond fics. Using fanfics or characters for self-soothing is normal. However, if that is what the creator is doing, self-soothing by sculpting Aemond into what they need him to be or by presenting a projection of themselves, how does it serve the fandom overall? Why not make an OC or label it as fanon?

I'm not going to get on my soap box about that because I want to address a couple more things about your ask. I find that people on Tumblr make a lot of assumptions based on one or two posts. If you haven't read Philosopher Prince (my Aemond x ofc fic) maybe you would enjoy it. He is a human, he has depth and feelings. I'm not being argumentative, I just don't honestly know where I have ever said (your words) "but I do have to disagree about him being incapable of being soft or wanting soft things." I have made a post about a canon statement that he doesn't give a shit about tourneys and answered an ask about his sexuality where I stated he wasn't soft. I think a large problem in this "debate" is that soft means something different to everyone. You have listed quite a few things that you find to be soft and that you want but some survivors of trauma are repulsed by that softness, by those same concepts or actions. I don't believe anyone has ever asked me, nor have a publicly written about, what softness Aemond is averse to in my headcanon.

So here's the other of the 'couple' things I want to wrap up with. For me, with my particular ptsd, soft means something completely different (I mean in my real life, nothing to do with Aemond) so if I were to project my idea of this softness onto him, of how I cope with my ptsd, no one would want to read my Aemond fics because they would be so far off the mark, they would seem ooc. (We have 'out of character' as an abbreviation so we can help readers understand we are changing aspects of the canon character.) However, I think many creators don't factor in the parts of Aemond's ptsd that make him into a badass. This isn't accusatory, as I've said some people write to self-sooth and that's okay. Perhaps some of the writers softening him don't have first hand experience with trauma or their trauma is different from Aemond's. But it is important to understand ptsd does not always make someone a wounded creature to be scooped up and nursed back to health with kindness and softness. Sometimes it makes them Vhagar.

#thank you so much #i love my anons #asked and answered #aemond headcanon #aemond #aemond targaryen #hotd #house of the dragon

[trashyslashers]

Can I please ask for a slasher match up? 😇

I'm a female, using she/her pronouns and am interested in both, women and men.

I've got really pale skin (which I love), white blonde shoulder-length hair with the tips dyed dark purple on one side and dark green on the other, a few ear piercings, I'm somewhat curvy (which I'm not insecure about), around 5'5 high and I'm always wearing only black clothing with a gothic/punk/metal/alternative style.

My own love language is words of affirmation and acts of service and from others it's physical touch and quality time.

Meeting new people, being in crowded places and in the center of attention make me really anxious and uncomfortable. Although it's easier if I can rely and concentrate on someone really close to me.

I hate the summer, but love autumn and it's weather, aesthetic and flavours! My ideal day would entirely spend with a loved one ; cozy up inside, watch a movie, cook something together, maybe even bake, take a walk on a typical autumn day, cuddling a lot, listening to music and of course, laughing and enoying the time with them. Otherwise, I would love to do typical autumn activities with them!

I have deep emotions, but they tend to overwhelm me and I struggle with communicating and procressing them alone, which leads me to relying on others (annoying them with it) but also understanding others and the world around me on a deeper level. I believe that's also why I'm so accepting, supporting and open-minded.

I love to help others, I tend to always put their well-being before my own and try anything possible to make it easier for them and take some weight off their shoulders, to lighten up someone's mind and make their worries less overwhelming. To put it simply, I hate to see others suffering and will do anything to help them.

I'm the happiest when the people I love are happy, when someone truly listens to me, my thoughts and feelings.

I'm a very loving, warm and passionate person. I care about the people who're close to me and I will go to great length to help them. Furthermore, I'm ultimately loyal and would never betray or let people I love down!

I hate when people believe they can define or generalize what's normal or beautiful, boring or annoying, typical or effective. All these are personal views and usually I find beauty where others don't, enjoy unusualness and uniqueness and despise mainstream and stereotypical things. Being like everyone else or fitting into some kind of box annoys me so much!

The nightsky inspires and fascinates me, just as much as rain calms me down and fills me with serenity, passion and happiness. Though, my biggest passion is and always be music and I could never live a single day without it, it's like the air to breathe. I especially love (symphonic-,heavy-) metal!

I'm extremely shy, insecure and self-doubting, always believe that I'm annoying those around me. That's why I tend to distance myself and don't speak/act at all, in fear of embrassing myself even more. It helps if there's someone who helps, grounds and understands me in these times! With the right person, I can actually be quite sarcastic. Additionally, I'm terrible clumsy, always bumping against something, falling down or dropping something.

I firmly believe in the power of honesty and wish to be respected and accepted as much as I do show others.

My senses are pretty strong and my surroundings, especially combinated with my social anxiety, sometimes lead me to anxiety and panic attacks, which I obliviously hate and am ashamed of. I struggle to get out of them on my own, but to someone really close to me it's actually not so hard.

I really love watching movies and TV shows. To be honest, I prefer living in fictional worlds and daydreams over the real world. I'm especially enthusiastic about horror and fantasy. About fandoms I love, I could ramble on and on about forever. I'm literally incapable of stopping to talk and ramble, if someone wouldn't stop me, I would probably never shut up (at least as long as I'm really familiar with them, otherwise I'm pretty silent and reserved)

I'm living vegan and I'm really passionate about it! I wish to never ever harm an animal and to treat them with all the love my heart is capable of! If I could, I would help and adopt every single animal and care for them lovingly.

I'm quite clingy and like to be surrounded by everything that's even remotely that of someone who's close to me. If I could, I would spend every minute with them and feel as (physicially and emotionally) close to them as possible.

Here are some random things I love : animals (especially cats!), being physically close to people I love, the smell of a freshly baked cake, pale skin, moving in-tune with someone, people talking with passion and love, inside jokes, fuggy hillsides and landscapes, flowers growing in the cracks of pavements, long hugs, music loud enough to silence everything else, oddities, the purring of cats, thunderstorms, sharing earphones, movie nights, stepping into shallow puddles, open windows at night, freckles, perfectly worn-in combat boots, typical autumn and winter days, looking at the stars, seeing someone else's smile and joy, wavy hair, leather jackets, to feel truly calm and discovering similarities

I'm longing for someone to fall in love with me, accepting and supporting me just as I'm. I'm not easy to get along with and I'm used to feel like a outcast and weirdo, I believe that putting up with me is quite a burden, which I also don't wish to put upon someone. I don't need a lot of people around me, just one fully by my side is more than enough!

Thank you so much! 😊

Anon, I think you'd go well with...

Jason Voorhees!

Your ability to see beauty where others don't, coupled with your empathetic nature and tendency to put others before yourself is what drew Jason to you. The way you so actively seek to make sure those around you and those you care about do not suffer or feel alone is something Jason truly admires as he never thought he'd see such a thing from someone, given how such a person was absent in his life, apart from his mother.

Feeling as if one is an outcast is not something foreign to Jason. He knows - more than most - what it feels like to be fully rejected from society and other people as a whole. Regardless of the reason, it's not a pleasant feeling, and it's one that he can empathize with. In a way, he feels even more comfortable around you once learning that you, to a degree, know how it feels as well.

Words of affirmation are something he experienced very little of in his life time - and once again, what he did receive were only from his mother. The way you so readily tell him how much you care about, cherish, and value him and do so with what he can tell is genuine feeling behind your words stirs something in him he's never felt before.

And he's more than happy to indulge you in what makes you feel loved; he's very tall and very broad which makes it incredibly easy for him to hug, hold and cuddle you. When not out patrolling the campgrounds as he often does, nearly every moment is spent by your side.

Speaking of the campgrounds, it seems you enjoy many nature based things, or at least some. The campgrounds, as well as the cabin, are secluded and isolated, and so apart from the occasional gaggle of daredevils, trespassers, and nosey teenagers, it's just the two of you and the local wildlife. There are very rarely any interruptions in the serenity of the area apart from occasions during the summertime, and Jason wishes for you to be able to find peace in that. The view of thunderstorms over the lake is an incredible sight! Just please, don't get too close to the water.

You're vegan? No problem - although Jason no longer eats, there's plenty of space for at least a garden. Though you'll most likely need and want more than what you can grow there, he'll do what he can do keep you happy. Animals are something the two of you share a mutual respect and care for.

If you need someone to ground you in times of anxiety, Jason is your rock. Although to absolutely everyone else it's the opposite, Jason is able to be a source of comfort for you. He's surprisingly gentle when he wants to be, and he's quick to learn what helps you and what doesn't during your panic attacks, and is very attentive and patient when it comes to you. There's no need to feel pressured to speak when you're with him, but he loves it when you do, especially when you're rambling about what you're passionate about. It could never annoy him, even if he has no clue what you're talking about, and it warms his necrotic heart that you're sharing your passions with him.

Your sarcasm that comes about with your growing comfort is something he finds cute, and Jason definitely frets over you on your more clumsy days. He takes care to make sure your shared cabin (or your personal one, if you so prefer) is safe and that you won't get seriously injured on any sort of misplaced sharp object, or broken floorboard.

He appreciates the loyalty you display, and it's not because he has some sort of mistrust in you - rather, because it's unfortunately a very deep rooted insecurity in him that one day you'll wake up and you, too, will see him as everyone else saw him when he was alive, and how everyone sees him now. The regular reassurance you give him helps quell this on some of his bad days, and while it doesn't do so entirely, he puts his trust in your words.

Honestly, what more can I say? Jason would adore you. You and everything about you would make him feel safe and loved, and he'd strive to make sure you felt the same, with him.

#request #match ups #slasher matchup #slasher matchups #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #jason voorhees x reader

[gromellette]

what's your thought crime Opinions

how nice of you to ask!

as a disclaimer, this is less about the commonly discussed concepts of mental illness & harmless sexual/romantic fantasies seen under the original post and more about the less than normal kinds of thoughts that can be harder to talk about in a neutral way for a lot of people. proceed with caution, i suppose.

i don't have anything to say about thought crime that hasn't already been said, i think. but i do hold, from my experience, controversial & unpopular opinions surrounding thoughts, desires, attractions, urges, and feelings vs. actions where it relates to violence and sexuality.

i don't immediately reign judgement on people who experience some or all of the above surrounding the likes of incest, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, non/dubious consent/rape, mutilation/murder, etc. these things would be undoubtedly unethical and, to most, detestable to act on, but simply experiencing those feelings & thinking those thoughts & having those urges or desires is not something i'm interested in demonizing someone for. human beings are incapable of controlling their thoughts/feelings/attractions. if we weren't, we would never feel anxiety or grief or anger, people with OCD & intrusive thoughts would eliminate them before they appeared, queer people in conservative spaces and/or grappling with internalized homophobia would simply choose to not be queer. we know this isn't how it works, so why would it be any different for the unsavory ones, the socially unacceptable?

this isn't to say it's just chill that some people sit around having fantasies about certain things; i do think destigmatizing needs to also come with unpacking and rehabilitation where appropriate and measures to prevent violent acts, but the cultural obsession with morality is probably my biggest gripe with the conversation surrounding violent thoughts and violence in general; how morality is the highest priority, the means by which we must categorize the world in terms of "good" people and "bad" people, the end all be all to understanding and solving the issue of violence and, therefore, the only thing that really matters when observing these categorically "bad" people². all this, despite the fact that morality is entirely subjective and does nothing to actually prevent or treat violence because one's perception of right and wrong varies widely from person to person depending on endless variables. contrary to popular belief, the world cannot be broken down into such simple parts; good and bad, right and wrong, just and unjust. the world is nuanced, gray, and not altogether easy to understand.

i'm as passionate as i am about this (and about protecting freedom of speech and expression in fictional media where this topic is concerned too, another conversation altogether) because the shame and dehumanizing that happens in response to someone expressing violent thoughts or compulsions is what ultimately leads to real life harm¹. i believe it's important to foster an environment where people can feel comfortable talking about these things because with that comes feeling comfortable asking for help and preventing violence from the start, which is ultimately what we want, right? to listen to, show compassion for, and aid people with "immoral" thoughts (and predators, while we're at it) is to participate in creating a safe community for everyone³.

punishment begets more violence, not less, and it's troubling how popular the opposite sentiment seems to be. i'm frankly tired of seeing people make black and white moral judgements that are not at all black and white (i.e. thinking about something one has never acted on). it's okay to feel a way about things but, as far as i'm concerned, a person's actions are far more important than what goes on inside their head, or what they choose to write, draw, read, or watch for that matter (unless it's legitimate pornography involving real life parties right like obviously that is very bad because it results in and perpetuates real life harm, lets be reasonable here BUT even in these cases, the answer is not to demonize. there could be cases in which a person might very well be incapable of change or remorse (debatable) and in those cases, sure, but i believe the majority of the time such violence can be not only treated, but prevented by recognizing their humanity and doing what we can to foster it. the ultimate goal being, of course, to prevent violence. but i digress, that is another conversation also lol)

¹ James Gilligan has talked extensively on this topic, the correlation between shame & violence, and how treatable and preventable it really is if we could dispel the notion that predators are inhuman, some sort of separate evil species incapable of treatment and understanding and "deserving" of punishment. His book, Preventing Violence, is a great place to start, or this interview if you can't access it (highly recommend, it is a fascinating read). ² See also James Gilligan. Morality is the Problem, where he talks about morality as a means to justify violence on both sides of the coin.

³ i also feel it necessary to make clear that it's not anyone's, and particularly any victim's, responsibility to bear the burden of showing compassion to or otherwise protecting someone who has harmed or wanted to harm others. i just hope to highlight the importance of recognizing and considering the humanity in those individuals because the most effective way of changing someone for the better is allowing them the space to do so, should they be receptive to it. because monsters don't exist, human beings who do unforgivable things do. and, yes, even those human beings need compassion from others.

#yes i enjoy gilligan and look for any opportunity to share his work is that so wrong #our matching icons btw...... love #grom #asks #is this unpopular & controversial or am i yelling at a wall btw #bc in my circles it definitely is but maybe my circles are just... less open minded? understandably so too like #i understand peoples gut reaction to these things and where it comes from and its obviously a very natural response #i just feel we should try to be more pragmatic & less reactionary in our pursuit of preventing harm #idk let me know what you think if you so desire lol #and ty for letting me ramble!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 310: A Tale of Two Kacchans

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Deku was all, “hey, you know what sounds like a good decision? Abandoning my studies at the safest place in the country so that the bad guy who wants to find me and kill me has literally nothing standing in his way of doing that.” All Might was all, “I fucking knew you were going to say some bullshit like that so whatever, but I’M COMING WITH YOU and I’m also going to invite the Hawksquad to come with us, mostly so that I can steal Jeanist’s car.” Jeanist was all, “okay fine you can borrow my car, All Might, but only if you wear jeans.” All Might was all, “okay sure” and he wore jeans and also sunglasses and a leather jacket and it was pretty rad. Anyway so now they’re out there fighting crime and hunting down the LoV and stuff, and absolutely none of it is going to end well, I’m just letting you know now. But I guess we’ll let them enjoy it while it lasts.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “happy belated Kacchan’s Birthday makeste, here’s the flashback you really wanted at long last,” and proceeds to pull the old vestige flashback out of the kitchen drawer and upend its contents all over my Friday afternoon without the slightest bit of warning. OFA III is all “WHAT’S UP I’M JUST SOME GUY, HELLO,” and okay?? Hello yourself. OFA II, on the other hand, is all, “okay yeah I have different hair and stuff, but I’m like 98% sure I’m either Bakugou or his goddamn twin, I mean look at me.” Which, yeah. I looked, and he really is though you guys. Anyway though, so he and OFA II basically just showed up in the First (who goes by Yoichi now)’s prison cell one day all “HEY THERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, APPARENTLY, ALTHOUGH WE SEEM REAL CONFUSED ABOUT IT TBH BUT HEY.” And so they saved him, and Yoichi was all “hey nice to meet you do you want to join my super-exclusive Saving The World Club”, and so they did, and then the chapter ended lol. I would have said yes too.

oh my sweet lord?? I didn’t realize we were getting a color page this week, but LOOK AT THIS

this could have been a fucking volume cover. I’m almost mad that it wasn’t, lol but I mean fkldjslklk just look at it??! Horikoshi out here spoiling us and making sure we’re well fed since next week the manga is on break for Golden Week. well this will certainly help to tide me over. hot damn look at those colors

so now it’s raining on some dumb building in the middle of somewhere

is this where the Hawksquad has set up camp for the night? or are we actually cutting back to the League? that’d be unexpected (but not unwelcome)

ffff nevermind dammit it’s just more random citizens under attack

feels like this is the third or fourth scene we’ve had of civilians being Under Attack since this arc started. I mean no offense, but I think we get it by this point. it’s the end times, etc. etc. we’re well aware that things have gone to shit

so apparently these two guys are facing off against a girl with a mutant quirk. and she’s telling them that she’s not a monster and she was just scared, oh shit. I believe her btw, you can see it in her face

but these assholes don’t believe her at all and they’re pointing what looks to be some type of support item gun at her

you know what’s interesting, is that this kind of random quirk discrimination is the exact kind of thing PLF and the like were swearing up and down they’d put a stop to with their glorious revolution. it’s almost like those guys were completely full of shit. huh

so yeah, fortunately for this woman someone is stepping in and intervening before she can be blasted to bits by this trigger-happy asshole for absolutely no fucking reason

looks like a hero actually stepped in and saved her?? but no that can’t be, heroes are the ones that ruin everything and make everything worse, or so I understand. lol where did all of this sarcasm come from out of nowhere dlkdsjlk I’m sorry guys I just suddenly got swept up in the hypocrisy of certain people’s philosophies out of the blue idek

anyway so it is of course Deku saving her, and now he’s trying to talk thess jerks down all diplomatically instead of just kicking their asses, which is certainly a choice

MOTHERFUCKER I’M

fucking impossible to miss the real world parallels here. shit. this woman nearly died for her crime of Walking While Having A Mutant Quirk huh. and meanwhile Deku is just letting this guy scurry away and even letting him keep that fucking bazooka of his, like, ????

fucking hell she’s crying!!

lmao this chapter is actively trying to make me mad now huh. that’s some genuine righteous anger I’m feeling on behalf of this fictional ferret lady whom I only met two minutes ago. girl you are not the one who needs to explain herself here!! you didn’t do anything wrong holy fuck. everything about this situation sucks so much

fkKJKLMMMHFGH

“I’m sorry I made you upset, please enjoy this panel of tiny!floating!Deku hefting this lady’s massive beach umbrella up for her like the fucking gentleman he is” well okay then thank you sir

and JUST LIKE THAT the tension is broken and I’m entirely incapable of taking the rest of this conversation seriously because Deku’s trying to be all calming and authoritative, but now the illusion has been broken because I know he only comes up to like her knees

“well thanks again for saving me young man. I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do like protecting your Lucky Charms cereal from all those greedy children”

oh hey All Might

you wouldn’t have just let that guy with the bazooka just walk away to commit more attempted murders would you?? man

OH MY GOD DEKU IS IMMEDIATELY DITCHING HIM AGAIN

I ~CANNOT STAY HERE~ oh, well, sorry to keep you detained I know you’re busy

dfslkjlk oh my god

fucking told you Deku didn’t pack any food lol. it’s literally all notebooks in that bag you guys. he couldn’t just leave them all in his dorm room when he left, because what if someone tried to read them and came across one of the pages where he absentmindedly doodled Kacchan’s name surrounded by little tiny hearts oh gosh

AWWWWW

I needed this Horikoshi. thank you for this wholesome soul-cleansing interaction after all of that bullshit earlier

so now Deku’s climbing up this tall building to eat his lunchbox more dramatically. Tokoyami would be proud

and Banjou is saying that society right now is just like in The Good Old Days (read: bad old days) when quirk society was even more of a mess than it is now

which is exactly how AFO likes it, no doubt

so now Deku’s having a whole conversation with Banjou seemingly out loud lol, weird. and he’s basically saying that they don’t have any clues as to where TomurAFO and the League are hiding right now, and none of the Tartarus escapees they’ve found knew anything either

mmmmmfmhm, marge simpson noises

but you think you can?? you, alone, by yourself?? you think you stand a chance?? I just need you to think this all through a bit more kid

Deku it is NOT JUST YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ALONE, PLEASE REALIZE THIS ALREADY. YOU MAY BE THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT EVEN THE CHOSEN ONE NEEDS HIS FRIENDS BY HIS SIDE GODDAMMIT

and of course my pleading is all in vain, because he’s a fictional character who can’t fucking hear me, and also because I’m pretty sure there’s only one character who is going to actually be able to get him to hear reason here. I’ve been saying it, and I’ll keep saying it lol. so until then I guess I’ll just have to be patient

anyway so it appears we’re segueing into another flashback??? HORIKOSHI PLEASE GIVE ME SOME BAKUCRUMBS BEFORE THE TWO WEEK BREAK, I BEG YOU

dlKSDJLFKWJELKGHSLGKLEKJLFKHLGK

YES, THANK YOU, I KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING IS LOL, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THIS SCENE OR ANYTHING LMAO. BUT ANYWAYS DON’T MIND ME, YOU WERE SAYING??

oh my god oh my god I’m not readyyyyy, but also FUCK YEAH I AM SO FUCKING READY LOL LET’S DO THIS

YOU GUYS

I’M ABOUT TO STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YEET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS AT YOU ALL

NOOOOO

I’M ABOUT TO GRAB BANJOU’S GOGGLES AND STRETCH THEM OUT AND SNAP THEM BACK SO THEY SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD!!! IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES!!! I’M ABOUT TO MOVE TO JAPAN AND GET A JOB WITH DOORDASH AND FIND OUT WHAT HORIKOSHI LIKES TO ORDER FOR LUNCH SO I CAN BE THE ONE TO DELIVER IT SO THAT WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR I CAN FINALLY ASK HIM “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” IN PERSON

AHHH NO EVERYBODY SHHHHH STOP TALKING!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT PERSON SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN THE BACKGROUND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, OH WAIT, THAT’S ME

(」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ)

LOL THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! YOU’RE NOT KIRISHIMA OR SHINSOU OR IIDA IN A WIG OR ANYBODY LOL. YOU’RE JUST A DUDE. BROOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WHAT’S GOOD

I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN AHHHH BUT I HAVE TO BUT IT’S TOO INTENSE AHHHHHHH

I CAN SEE THE TOP OF HIS SPIKY HEAD, IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME AHHHHHHHH OKAY I’M GONNA DO IT HERE GOES

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S HIM. IT FUCKING REALLY FUCKIGN IS HIM OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY AM I SO SHOCKED LMAO I’M THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE DAMN TIME LMAO. OH GOD. O H MY FUCKING GOD

well okay then sir. so are you an ~ancestor~ or a Kacchan from another timeline or so what’s your deal then

YOICHI WHO IS YOICHI

YOICHI ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S UP. LMAO WHO IS YOICHI

(ETA: I’m going to punch myself in the face lmao. he’s Yoichi. he, the First. that’s his name. name reveal at long last what what!!)

MORE IMPORTANTLY SHOULD I BE IMAGINING NOBU’S VOICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE LMAO I AM ANYWAY BUT YEAH

(ETA: I actually think he’s going to end up being voiced by Nobuhiko whether he ends up being Kacchan or not, just because it fits right in with the general “identical in almost every way” aesthetic he’s got going on.)

TUMBLR HOW WE LIKING OUR ANGSTY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN?? EVERYONE HATED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE THEY EVEN MET YOU, BUT THEY FORGOT TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOT LMAO WHAT A TWIST

“some bright-eyed brat” oh come on. IT’S GOTTA BE HIM LOL

oh my god you all are probably TIRED AS FUCK of all my screaming but I’M SORRY IMMA HAVE TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that face. that expression!! THE FACT THAT HE’S OUT HERE OPENING DOORS WITH HIS FEET, LIKE HOLY SHIT!! JUST ADMIT THE JIG IS UP ALREADY

and so they really are the ones who busted First out of his jail cell huh

so how did they know you were in the room?? why did they come and break you out?? and how, pray tell, did they know to get you to transfer OFA to them?? hmmmMMMMMMMM

oh MY GOD

you guys. oh my god. it’s too much. every last bit of it lines up exactly with the Bakuverse theory sdkjfj I’m short-circuiting. it’s really fucking happening oh my lord

HELLO SEXY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN WITH HIS SEXY FUCKING SCAR, FUCK YEAH WE REALLY ARE EATING GOOD THIS CHAPTER

HELL YEAH WE’RE GOING. WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED YOU GUYS. LMAO I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WEFKJLDKFFFF

SO, EVERYONE, LET’S RECAP. -- ACTUALLY NO, I STARTED TO WRITE UP A LIST, BUT I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED IT REALLY JUST NEEDS TO GO IN ITS OWN THREAD. SO I MADE IT AND POSTED IT, AND NOW I’M FINISHING UP THIS HOT MESS OF A RECAP POST. SO NOW WE’RE BACK TO THIS ONE FINAL PANEL OF DEKU EATING HIS KATSU ALL SERIOUS

YES SIR. YES SIR, WE GOING, FULL SPEED AHEAD, WHATEVER, IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT YES!!

lol, anyways so as I said in my other post, mysterious sexy guys with tragic pasts are what bring us together as a fandom, so whatever your thoughts are on the rest of it, let’s just rejoice in that. it’s what we deserve

#bnha 310 #midoriya izuku #ofa prime #ofa ii #bakugou katsuki #MAYBE??? #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[ficforthought]

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn��t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way  - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.  

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.  

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

[work-of-waking-up]

In Defense of the Psychopath

Alright, wanna venture into my crazy ass brain? I’m going to start by saying one thing that will set the tone for everything else that follows: Villanelle is not a psychopath in the way that we currently understand them. Why am I even bothering to write about a fictional character, you ask? Because representation is important. Media portrayal of various mental and behavioral health topics (including ones that people might not think need to be discussed) is important and this show has a big audience. I also just want to contribute to the conversations that are taking place because I am seeing A LOT of them and the reason for that I believe boils down to the fact that Jodie makes Villanelle so relatable and people want to know what that means and looks like for them. Even those who felt they could relate to Sandra’s Eve, or the relationship between the two, maybe questioned what that meant the further they went down the path with them. “It’s probably a bad thing I relate to a psychopath, right? But she can’t be a psychopath because she cries and she feels things! Psychopaths don’t cry, which means she isn’t realistic so therefore it’s okay that I relate to her! Right? Or are my assumptions about psychopaths and people with antisocial personality disorder wrong? I relate to Eve but look what she is underneath it all...so does that mean I relate to that part of her too?” Not only is villanelles character relatable, but people see the freedom inherent within her, the freedom that Eve sees, and they realize that, at least on some level, they want it too. The show has (unintentionally I think) created a massive dialogue which is super cool and you can tell everyone involved on the show is aware of that now, I mean they have a consulting psychiatrist so I think that speaks for itself. This is less of a commentary on the character herself and whether or not she is a genuine psychopath, and more so a commentary on the conversations she has inspired and why... For the record, this is literally just my opinion sprinkled with a few facts, nothing else.

So, the term psychopath gets thrown around in the show, more so in the beginning, MI6 explicitly labels Villanelle this way, even going so far as to use her in a presentation about psychopaths, although I think that was more so to gauge Eve’s response than anything else. The reality of Villanelle, which we come to learn, is that nobody has been able to get close enough to really know the truth. Anna and Konstantin both got close but we never hear either of them use that word (Konstantin says it once but he clearly doesn’t mean it, it was more of an attempted manipulation tactic). They make it clear that she has, and can, and WILL cause damage, but that’s as far as they go. Eve is getting close and she tells Villanelle when they first meet that she knows Villanelle is a psychopath but it’s obvious from Eve's behavior and things she says later on that she truly doesn’t believe Villanelle is what everyone says she is. It’s easier to label her as a psychopath because that alienates and isolates her and her behavior completely. She is an outlier with behavioral anomalies and therefore it isn’t necessary to look any closer. For MI6 and others (not talking about the shows creators) to label Villanelle as a psychopath is easy, it’s lazy, it’s reductive, it serves a single purpose... a means to an end. They (anyone other than Eve basically) simply do not care about Villanelle’s truth. But as an audience we are lucky enough to see more of her with each episode. The psychopath label begins to fade and Oksana is what’s left. We know based on what she has said that she is aware that people think she is a psychopath, a monster, a person built to kill. It’s not always easy to decide that who you are is different from who you’ve always been told you are, especially given her history. Villanelle hasn’t told us yet if she thinks (or knows) that she is a psychopath, but it’s clear towards the end of last season that she no longer wants to be the person that they (meaning the twelve, Dasha, Konstantin, etc.) created. We see moments where she clearly has no remorse and clearly enjoys what she does, but then we have little moments sprinkled in between where she very obviously struggles, even if its short lived. And those moments are important. We have the moment where she struggles with the choice to shoot Konstantin, saying he is a good person, she thinks. This comes shortly after a conversation she had where Irina tells Villanelle she thinks she is a good person because she is sad, so we know she is thinking about it, we know the awareness is there, and it becomes more and more there as times goes on. I like to think of it in terms of having moments that are pure Villanelle (ie the way she killed Inga in the Russian prison), and then we have moments that are Oksana, vulnerable and emotional. Villanelle is a creation and a mask whereas oksana is the truth. Those moments are starting to really mean something. I'm not even going to start with her trip to find her family, that’s its own thing, but it's a Really Big Thing.

So. Villanelle is not a psychopath in the way that we currently understand and perceive them. Yes, she displays psychopathic traits, and yes, she absolutely has antisocial personality disorder. I read an article where the psychiatric consultant for the show (makes it pretty obvious how hard they worked to make Villanelle as realistic as possible) said that the Villanelle in Luke Jenning’s books scored a 32 on Hare’s psychiatric checklist, but I like to think (and I think a lot of people would agree) that number is a bit high, at least for Jodie’s Villanelle, maybe not even hitting 30 at all (close though, let’s be real lol). The max score is 40 which would be a fully blown primary psychopath. For reference, Ted Bundy scored 39. This checklist is flawed though, mostly created and based off the prison population. Which is why it isn’t used as a proper diagnostic tool. 32 is apparently extraordinarily high for a female (think Aileen Wuornos), which brings me to my next point which is that because it’s hard to measure a lot of the classic traits objectively, there is not a ton of solid data surrounding psychopathy, and even less of it is on female psychopaths. Like most things in life, psychopathy exists on a spectrum, there are levels and layers. It’s not black and white, there’s no definitive test (psychopathy isn’t even in the DSM-5 because as I said earlier it’s extremely hard to measure objectively) and it's important to distinguish between someone who exhibits psychopathic traits and someone who is actually an identifiable psychopath. Chances are high that someone you know displays at least one characteristic shared with psychopaths and this doesn’t make them one.

I think what’s important about this is that mental disorders (mental illness/personality disorders/etc.) of any kind are much more nuanced than a lot of people tend to think they are. That they exist less in black and white and more in shades of grey. Jodie Comer is absolutely remarkable for showcasing that through portraying the different layers of Villanelle. Her performance is a literal gift. We cannot keep thinking and acting like we know everything about how a person thinks, feels, and behaves based strictly and entirely on one label. The thing that has stuck out to me the most, the reason I decided to even write this bullshit babble, is that one of the most searched topics about the show is whether or not it’s realistic that Villanelle cries, and honestly how sad is that? That makes me sad for V. Is it more realistic for her to develop connections and cognitive empathy if she was made into a psychopath vs if she was born that way? Is there a legitimate difference between the two? And how do we even decide which one is applicable for someone? It’s important to add that antisocial personality disorder is not the same thing as psychopathy or sociopathy. You can have aspd and not be a psychopath. Research has shown that about only a third of those diagnosed with aspd would meet criteria to be considered a psychopath. Society is not doing a great job at getting people to understand this. But to be fair, understanding personality disorders specifically has been somewhat problematic, a lot of diagnostic confusion and overlap between disorders. A LOT of work needs to be done. But as far as portrayals go, society has strictly chosen to go the route of giving us psychopathic characters and having them be inherently violent, incapable of remorse, feelings, or change. Poverty of all emotions. Subhuman. They are made out to be so abnormal and unrelatable to the point where the character of Villanelle has sparked so much debate and fascination simply because she exists in a way that actually IS relatable...and layered and beautiful and thrilling. We thought she would be the bad guy and yet we root for her at every turn, we cry for her, we want good things for her! We see her darkness and without question or hesitation we forgive it. She makes us question what we’ve previously been shown. Questioning whether or not it’s realistic that she acts the way she does is less important than questioning our own personal assumptions and beliefs and where those come from. I think that’s awesome. Villanelle is truly a gift. She is hands down one of the most well written fictional characters, which is saying a lot considering when you put something, or someone, in a box it doesn’t leave tons of room for expansion. and I honestly don’t even really need to say this, but.. Jodie Comer.

#killing eve #villanelle #jodie comer #eve polastri #sandra oh #villaneve #feel free to rb #if you want #oksana astankova

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 4

Double feature tonight! Here's chapter 4 as well. Last night I was inspired and I did managed to write a few chapters.

As usual... some Gaelic for you:

A bheil Gàidhlig agad - Do you speak Gaelic? mo charaid - my friend

Some of Elias' words seem funny, but he speaks Scots as well. And he is so damn sexy while doing it.

All the locations I mentioned they are real. Rowan's bookstore it's the only fictional place.

Happy reading!

------

Aelin woke up quite late the next morning. After her fight with Rowan she had spent the day at the marina and wondered around the town. She had felt empty and could not bring herself to do anything. She finally managed to speak with Lysandra and cried. She cried her heart out and her friend had listened. Like she always did. She had gotten home later in the afternoon and felt exhausted. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room reading her books. That brought her joy at least, although dreaded going back to shop to collect the last book. She could not face him. Not yet. But that morning she had woken with a renewed motivation. She had prepared breakfast for herself and admitted she missed Maeve’s apple turnovers but could not risk going back there at the moment. She had to put some distance. So she ate her own breakfast, prepared a couple of sandwiches and got her backpack ready for the next adventure. Today she was driving south toward Harris. She had learned that Lewis and Harris were one big islands but Lewis was the Northern part, full of moors and peat land. Harris, was the Southern part, much rockier and with some stunning beaches and a famous road called the Golden road. Ten minutes later she was in the car and ready to go. She set her sat nav and she left. Over an hour later the sat nav announced one last turn to her final destination: Luskentyre beach. She had a look at some photos online and she could not believe such a gorgeous place existed.

She parked the car and opened the door and got out. No internet image had prepared her for the view in front of her. The beach was massive, the stretch of sand never ending and the sand was so white that it almost hurt the eyes. And the sea. It was the purest green mixed with blue that she had ever seen in her life. She was speechless. For ten solid minutes she leaned against the open door of her car and observed the stretch of paradise in front of her, incapable of doing anything else. Trying to burn in her memories the colours. She would take pictures but doubted they would ever do any justice. Finally she moved and grabbed her backpack, locked the car and walked to the beach. Once she reached the sand she removed the shoes. No way she was going to walk on that sand with her shoes on. The sun was up and the sand was warm at the touch and she let the feeling sooth her. Around her there were a few people walking dogs and couples walking hand in hand. A pang of sadness hit her, and absentmindedly she touched the spot where her wedding band should have been hating herself straight after, for missing Chaol. He made his choice. She had given him his freedom. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought them back and resumed her walk along the beach. She followed the beach and walked in the water ignoring that it was cold. She walked for hours then she decided to sit and eat her lunch. Her sandwich was gross compared to Maeve’s and in her packed there definitely was no chocolate cake. She sighed. A young man was walking his dog and she noticed the animal coming her way. The man called him a few times, but a moment later the dog was at her feet, his tongue lolling from his mouth and was staring at her sandwich. Aelin laughed and gave him a bit and he ate eagerly. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you. You might never get rid of him.” The man was now in front of her and was scratching the dog ears. “It’s fine I was done eating anyway.” And she gave the rest of her lunch to the dog. She lifted her eyes and stared at the man. He was wearing shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. His hair was black as the night and his eyes a light blue edging on grey. Her breath caught and she felt herself blushing. “You are not a local.” He said as a matter of fact. “That obvious?” “Your accent. Definitely not from here.” His smile left her breathless. He had dimples. On both sides. He was quite cute. “Where do you bide?” Aelin looked at the man puzzled “Bide?” “Aye, where do you stay?” Understanding dawned on her. The word must have a different meaning in Scots “I am staying in Stornoway.” “Bonnie place. I live in Callanish. Ye, ken?” Aelin was stuck again. Was he even speaking English? So far all the other people had done their best to speak English with her. “Sorry, bad habit. I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant if you know Callanish.” The man sat beside her on the sand while the dog was running free on the beach. “Yes I was there a couple of days ago. I went to the standing stones. Such a fascinating place.” “I have one of the smaller circles just outside ma hoose.” He confessed turning his head to her “There are actually few more different sites scattered around the area. The main one at the visit centre is Callanish I.” He explained, then he extended his hand “I am Elias by the way. I have been yapping non stop and forgot to introduce myself.” “Aelin,” she said taking his hand. “Aelin…” her name on his tongue sounded perfection “In Gaelic means bright or shining one.” “So, are you a tourist? Visiting friends? Family? Boyfriend?” Aelin giggled “Status uncertain at the moment.” She said, then looked at Elias and explained a bit further “Tourist at the moment, but things might change.” “So, where are ye fae?” She guessed his question and she hoped she got it right “London.” She replied. “Been there for work a few times. I am an engineer and I have been down there for a few conventions.” Aelin was too busy listening at his sexy accent to pay attention to what he was saying and she felt embarrassed when she had to ask to repeat his answer. “Nae worries. I said I am an engineer and I was in London a few times for work.” “Cool what type?” The guy was fascinating and seemed much more willing to chat that a certain grumpy one back in town. “Environmental. I am working with Calmac at the moment. That’s the company that runs the ferry you used to get here if you travelled by sea.” He explained while the dog came back and licked his fingers quite happily. “I am a doctor. I was…. Still am… it’s complicated.” She cut short and noticed the confusion in his face. “Long boring story.” “What type?” “Cardio thoracic surgeon.” He whistled “bad ass woman. Love it.” His grin reached his eyes and she felt heat spread inside her. Definitely more than cute. And those dimples… She was having a good time but she had to keep going, she still had a few things to do. “I am enjoying the conversation but I still have quite a lot to cover.” She stood and turned to him. The main smiled “Of course. Care for some suggestions?” Aelin nodded. “If you are driving south, right after Borve there is another lovely beach. Stop there as well. Not as famous as Luskentyre but amazing as well. Then continue all the way down to Rodel. It’s the village at the end of the road. There is a lovely church called St. Clements. Worth visiting. Once you are past Rodel make your way back via the Golden road. It’s a very narrow road but it’s a pleasure to drive if you want an Hebridean adventure. Once you are almost at the top before Tarbert, make sure you stop in Drinisiader. There is a fascinating wee museum about Harris Tweed. But just hide your purse. They have some amazing stuff and you might want to buy the entire shop. Then you are in Tarbert and from there it’s an easy drive back to Stornoway.” “Tapadh Leat.” She said and Elias gave her a huge grin in response. “A bheil Gàidhlig agad?” He asked and she realised she had to stop trying to use Gaelic. “I just know thank you and good morning.” She explained almost embarrassed. “That’s okay, lass. I am not a native speaker either. I learnt it later on in life. My parents don’t actively speak it, but my gran did. It was the only way I had to communicate with her. My parents were parts of the generation that grew being taught that speaking Gaelic was not proper, so they never did. My mum understands it because of course her mother was a speaker. But she used her dad to translate. It’s a very long complicated story.” He stopped and looked at her. “Looks like we both have a complicated story to tell each other.” Aelin’s stomach fluttered in excitement. He grabbed his wallet and removed a business card from it. “Sorry for being so direct, but you seem quite an interesting person. Call me or message me if you need a guide.” He held the card to her and Aelin debated for a moment whether to take it or not. Lysandra had told her to go to Scotland, enjoy herself and get a Scottish man in the process and forget her ex husband. She took the card “I’ll call you.” “Do it, mo charaid.” She smiled warmly, grabbed her backpack “It was nice meeting you, Elias.”

She was driving along the Golden road and she had to admit that the road was a real adventure. Large enough for a small car to pass, she had to constantly focus on the road to avoid ending in a ditch or in a loch beside the road. But no matter the stress, she was loving it. Until the sheep arrived. One moment she was alone on the road. The next moment she was surrounded by sheep. A massive flock stretched for some length along the road. She got off the car, she took a picture and sent it to Lysandra with the caption traffic jam in the Hebrides. A moment later the phone rang. “Are you kidding me?” “No Lys, I swear I am surrounded by sheep. They are everywhere and I can’t go anywhere. Guess someone will come and collect them soon.” She heard Lysandra laugh “Sounds like you are having a great time.” “I am.” she confessed not entirely convinced. The memory of the fight with Rowan still stung and she was wracking her brain to find a way to fix things with him. She was… intrigued by him. He was brooding, infuriating and handsome at the same time. Plus he was the owner of a bookstore which was not bad. She wanted to be his friend but it looked like he was not interested. He had made that abundantly clear. Nothing I want to give you. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought, not willing to let sadness spoil such a lovely day. So she had decided to put some distance. She would go to get her book when it arrived and then limit her visits to his shop, for as much as it pained her. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Well, she was granting him his wish. “How is going with Aedion?” She changed the subject. “Well, we have only been on a date but he’s great.” “Already planning your wedding?” Aelin joked and Lysandra laughed in reply. “Nah, just imagining having sex with him for now.” “Eew. I didn’t need to know that” “Seriously… the man has amazing hands and I spent the evening thinking what he can do with them. And if all the other parts are just as big as the rest of the body…” “Eewww. Ewwww and eeeeew.” “Since when you are such a prude?” Aelin laughed she wasn’t but she had no interest in listening her best friend talk about her boyfriend’s body parts. “Get a move on finding a man of your own and then you can fantasise about his body parts.” For a brief moment Aelin’s mind thought about Rowan’s hands and… No, stop. She could not go there. That was dangerous territory. “We’ll see.” Was all that she added. “I need you to come back to me happy.” “What if…” she paused for a second “what if I am not coming back?” “What do you mean?” In the distance Aelin noticed a tractor and the sheep began moving again. “Sheep are moving. Gotta go back home.” “Ok. Keep me posted.” She say bye to Lys and she was positive she felt a note of sadness in her friend’s voice.

The sheep finally moved and she spent the journey home mulling over what she had said to Lys. She could not see herself going back to London. Something had broken inside her. Maybe it was her that was broken. With her skills and experience she could easily find another job in another hospital. So why the rejection from one place hurt so much? And Chaol… London was a very big place, the chances of her bumping into him on the streets were minimal. However, they had loads of friends in common. She would have to give up her friends to avoid him. Give up her gym, her favourite bookstore and cafe, because he was a regular in those places too. She would have to give up her life to avoid him and the pain that seeing again would bring. She had felt relieved after the divorce. She still had no regrets. But forgetting almost a decade together was proving more difficult than she expected. She pushed on the breaks quite hard, forced the door open and run to the field near the road. And then she collapsed on her knees and screamed, letting out all the frustration festering in her. Her hands began shaking and she felt the symptoms of a panic attack starting to manifest. Breathing was getting harder. So Aelin stayed in the filed, and cried and shook. Until she had no more tears left in her.

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #aedion x lysandra #lysandra #fluff #angst #throne of glass series #fanfic

[freemindedspirit]

Reading on the bothersome energy of Tumblr

Here’s what I got .

The main thing I got from this reading is feelings of envy and jealousy .

There’s also more than one force/person at the source of this.

The force is trying to get into the community in order to wreak havoc and troll, did anyone got hate anons recently ?Maybe soon ?...

They got a strong inferiority complex going on about their own gifts and mentality ,leading to a “if I can’t do it then it’s not real and they’re all liars “ mentality in order to protect them self from the destruction of ego.

That person is doing that as a way to avoid their shadow work and facing themself .They feel unhappy and incapable, so seeing people succeeding at what they’re failing is setting them off .

They’re truly stuck in a loop of “I’m supposed to be really good at it why am I not “,”I should be better “, “I disagree with their intuition so they’re wrong “.They’re also extremely competitive with an all or nothing mindset leading them to be unable to see their talents and the talents in the community as worthy .

It is synchronizing with something else going on in the collective , some Wheel of Fortune vibe or astrology maybe ?Anyway, something going on with all of us or an energy making theirs stronger but I don’t think it was done on purpose ?Like as if you were thinking angrily at someone but then their glass break but you didn’t really mean to hurt them physically, you were just angry .They may not realize this either .

There’s something about that person name that could be important ?Maybe their @ is in Latin, or they’re a hellenist .They could also bring the evil eye by using the names that people put in their bio.

They are currently living in fiction, in an illusion about themself and the world that needs to be fixed .It’s also possible they got into the community first through fandom blogs ?People who do celebrity readings, please be extra cautious with your energy and protection!

They are in pain and are projecting it into the entire community

Now for possible helps and solutions :

Indeed !Guys if you do singers tarot readings be extra careful with who you interact with and who you give your name and information to !

I think that people who are clairaudient/good at channeling songs could really help cleansing or finding that person ?

Those who are the most educated about witchcraft are those that seem to be the most capable here.Is anyone considered a general mentor figure in this community?

This could also be about bullying .It could play a big role in the current situation.Is everyone okay ?Delete this anon who makes you uncomfortable even if theres no apparent reason to be uncomfortable .Block and report whenever is necessary .GUYS CAREFUL WITH MONEY IF YOU DO PAID STUFF.SOMEONE MAY BE A SCAM HERE OR NOT PAYING THEIR BILLS TO THE READER.

I do see that some of us need to be more aware of how much time we spend on here, and makes sure we are enjoying our time and not just passing time .

Thank you for your time, please be cautious .

Good day !!

Miaro

[strangertheory]

How do you think people in Stranger Things would react to Will being THAT powerful??? His allies (friends, family), his enemies (Lonnie, Dr. Brenner...), other psychics (would they be jealous?) MIKE??? Would he still want to be with him? (I know he's been with Ell, but wouldn't he be too scared to be with someone THAT powerful?) And finally WILL HIMSELF?

Hello there! Thanks for Asking! ^_^

So - I believe that the context of your question is that you are assuming that my understanding of the Stranger Things universe is that Will Byers’s mind created the Upside Down and the monsters and the “Russians” and that in this sense he has “god-like” psychic powers just like @kaypeace21 explains in many of her blogposts. Correct?

Yes. I believe that Mike and Joyce and Jonathan would still want to stay with Will. I believe that his friends will ultimately choose to stay with him, too. I personally believe that El will also ultimately be an ally to him just as she always has been since season 1.

Jealousy, in my opinion, would be inappropriate and ignorant. Will’s powers are nothing to be jealous of since they stem directly from the abuse and trauma that he has been through and they are fantastical manifestations of his mind attempting to do everything it can to protect itself. But I suppose it's always possible someone would be jealous and ignorant about his powers nonetheless.

Currently Will does not have conscious control over these events. Not that we know of yet, at least. They also appear to be tied to his anxiety, his emotions, and his trauma that is buried in his mind. Of course people in Hawkins would be intimidated and afraid of Will if and when they figure out that his feelings and traumas are manifesting themselves in their world and are creating dangerous circumstances for everyone in Hawkins and the world-at-large. Of course. But it’s important to remember that he is not choosing to cause any of it, and it is not his actions but the actions of those who hurt him that are reaching out and spreading and incidentally harming the town as his mind tries to process what has happened and deal with everything and, ultimately, protect him.

However. I want to also add a tiny bit of my own speculation regarding what these supernatural and fantastical occurrences could represent within the theory that Will has dissociative identity disorder:

As you have probably noticed - I am a huge fan of @kaypeace21‘s theories and I agree with her on many, many observations and ideas about what is going on in the Stranger Things universe. But sometimes I might have slightly different ideas of my own here and there. I go back-and-forth on many of them. They tend to not be as well-organized or cohesive as @kaypeace21 ‘s interpretations, but I do have a collection of “maybes” floating around my mind most days.  I’m not committed to any of these rogue thoughts, and I change how I feel about them every single day and so I haven’t wanted to share them. But I will mention one of those thoughts in this answer to your Ask:

I continue to go back-and-forth between whether or not I see this story as one about literal monsters attacking a very real town and creatures that have emerged from Will’s mind in the flesh, or whether this entire story could be a story-within-a-story. Might there be a real-world, realistic-fiction version of everything happening that is hidden behind this curtain of fantasy? Could there be a version of Hawkins itself that is an internal world with alters and introjects and NPCs living in it? Was Will “going missing” really El fronting in a DID System for a few weeks because Will was afraid and “hiding”? Did Mike yell at Max for allowing El to show up at the Mall and say “You know she’s not allowed to be here!” because he’s worried it’s not safe for her at the mall for reasons that don’t involve the Lab or Evil Russians? Were we supposed to pick up on Will tapping out Morse Code to Hopper and saying “Close the Gate” in season 2 as being a method of communication that Hopper had taught to El for when she needed to reach him? I don’t know. I do think about these details and these possible hidden layers sometimes, though. These are just some thoughts that nag at the corners of my thoughts some days.

But whether Stranger Things is a fantastical retelling of “What Happened to Will Byers and How His Friends Helped Him Defeat the Monsters” written by author Michael Wheeler or not, I think that much of the conflict with supernatural elements in Stranger Things is still functioning on a very metaphorical level and will be resolved within the emotional and psychological aspects of the story getting resolved.

To return to the heart of your question and how his friends and family might feel about him being “so powerful” :

Yes. Will’s friends and family and all of Hawkins will probably be afraid of him at first just like (sadly) people in the real world are often afraid of those that are dealing with trauma and mental illness and those that behave “strangely” and are different compared to others that they are used to understanding. I think that their reactions will probably be analogous. We have already seen how Will (and El!) is treated as different and ostracized socially in many ways, both intentional and unintentional. Will is known to be not like other kids. (”He’s not like you, Hopper! He’s not like... most.”) Will is anxious about being treated like a baby and like he can’t handle things on his own by even his friends. Will is bullied. Everyone at school, even high schoolers that aren’t Will’s classmates, refer to him as a “freak.” Jonathan was referred to as “the freak’s brother” at one point. Can you imagine? Will is mocked so widely by the town that even high school bullies take jabs at him in casual conversation when insulting someone else: his older brother. He’s mocked. He’s bullied. He’s ignored. Will is already treated as someone different that the town is uncomfortable with and doesn’t respect. His “powers” growing or Will suddenly becoming more aware of his situation as someone that is different and called a “freak” will surely be a very hard thing for him to deal with while he is also met with increased ostracization by the people he knows and loves.

Hopefully those that love Will are going to ultimately realize that his “powers” and his condition are not a threat to their safety, and that the true danger and evil stems from the person (or people) who have hurt Will and who need to be brought to justice. Helping Will heal from everything that he has been through will surely be the key to banishing the monsters from Hawkins and allowing Will himself to realize that he doesn’t have to see his life as ruined by his condition or his “powers” and that he can truly have a happy, fulfilling life with those he loves. On that note: I highly recommend @kaypeace21‘s response to this blogpost (click here to read the thread) in which she discusses how important it is that storytellers create narratives in which survivors find happiness and love in spite of everything that they have been through because too often the lie and the damaging trope that mental illness inevitably condemns people to misery and death shows up again and again in pop culture. It’s important that we reject the lie told to us by society that the mentally ill are incapable of having happy lives.

(Thank you for Asking!)

#once again I might be providing too many ideas all in one big pile in my Answers to Asks #sorry if that's a lot to read and think about #also please remember that I said these are just ideas floating around in my thoughts and I'm not committed to them but I do consider them #wow look at me talking about things that I've been avoiding sharing because these thoughts are complicated but I guess today's the day XD

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 89

Wee-oo-oooooooooooo!

I thought long and hard about this chapter before writing it, and it just felt like it fit more into the narrative. Will it raise questions later? Probably.  Am I prepared to answer those questions?  I’m pretty sure.

Thank you, @satan-parisienne for being such a lovely person to bounce ideas off of, and for being an amazing sister (real and fictional).

The following week was a fog of exhaustion and mind-numbing soreness.  Tyche insisted on sparring each night, either with fencing or some other form of combat, while adamantly refusing to speak other than instructions and taunts regarding my form.  Any stretching to relieve my over-worked body had to be done in the gym, at home, or in my office, as those were the only three places I was allowed for the time being.  I didn’t even have the relief of walking to stretch my legs, since any time I spent in transit was seated on a transport with two escorts, one on either side.

Conor and Maverick were as patient with me as could be expected, but I could readily admit that I was in a sullen mood and would have done anything for some privacy.  Eventually, they both told Tyche to come keep an eye on me herself, they both needed some space.  Since she had been working me to the bone, not to mention was responsible for my ongoing rotation of guards, she was honestly the last person I wanted to see at the moment.  The second she walked in the door, the feeling was clearly mutual - she wouldn’t even look at me, just stood staring at one of my plants, arms crossed.

“You couldn’t even bring Mac with you?” I glared.

“I haven’t seen him in two weeks,” she snarled back. “Pretty sure you scared him off with your crappy attitude.”

“Maybe it’s because I haven’t had five minutes to myself in the past fucking week,” I muttered, turning away from her. Stomping into the kitchen, I got two cups of coffee, set one on the end of the table closest to her with a thunk - being angry didn’t mean I was going to be rude - before flopping down in her favorite armchair.

The next hour was the most tense round of sipping my walls had ever seen. She surrendered first, standing to pace. “Where the hell are they? They didn’t say how long they would be gone.”

Before I could respond, a chirp came from the ceiling. “Human Conor and Human Maverick are at the Undine, playing a Terran game with needles and a target.  They advised me when they left that they would return when both of you have categorized your defecation, although I am not entirely sure what that means.”

Against my will, a snort of laughter almost sprayed my coffee onto the deck. Tyche’s eyes tracked as she parsed what was just said, and I recognized her scowl as the one she used to keep from laughing. “I know for a fact that you have a better grasp of human euphemisms than that. You knew what they meant.”

“Simon has informed me that it is a standard Terran practice to diffuse tense situations with humor. Did I do it wrong?”

“We aren’t tense,” she argued.

“Tyche. There is currently less strain detected in the hull plating than there is in that room. Please re-evaluate your statement.”

She gaped like a fish at the remark, while I dissolved into breathless laughter. “Oh my gods, who taught you to say things like that?”

“Several humans on the Ark display a propensity for conversational rejoinders using wit. I find it very unique and pleasing.”

“I don’t care how witty you think you’re being, we don’t need to sort our shit out,” Tyche asserted airily.

It was my turn to gape. “You have me under house arrest! Don’t you think that needs to be addressed!?”

I was less than intimidated by the finger she pointed at me with, despite her gesturing like it was loaded. “First of all, it’s a protective detail, not house arrest. You’re free to go wherever you want, in a transport, with escorts.”

“How is that any - “

“Second of all,” she raised her voice to interrupt me. “Do you really think I have the authority to make that decision?  Yeah, you’re my sister, and I love you, but you are also my boss, dork. Not the other way around.”

Every processor that I joked existed in my head stopped with a grinding screech. How fucking stupid am I? “You mean to tell me I could have just walked off at any point?”

“Pfffft. No.” Annnnnnd now she was looking at me like I was an idiot.  “I mean, you can try. But the door won’t open.”

If I wasn’t already sitting down, I’d have fallen on my ass. It hurt itself in its confusion! Something supplied from the back of my head.  “So. I’m not on house arrest, but I also can’t walk out that door by myself. You don’t have the authority to assign a protective detail to me, but you did assign a rotation of escorts… Ohhhhhhh.”  Apparently ‘turning it off and back on again’ worked for mental processors, too.  “I am under house arrest, or protective custody, or whatever, but it wasn’t your call.”

“Finally!” she threw her hands in the air and flopped elegantly across my couch.

“Which means it was someone on the Council. So Xiomara did this.”

An exhausted thumbs-up popped comically from the pile of scarves and sweaters formerly known as my sister.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I demanded angrily, chucking a pillow where I thought her head was.

A muffled voice came from under the pillow. “I did manage to make sure you actually like and trust your escorts.”

“What do you mean my escorts? Who else’s… The entire Council?”

The thumb popped back up.

“And you couldn’t tell me.”

Second thumb.

“Why not?”

One hand dropped and the other flashed me a middle finger.

“Okay, can’t answer that either.” I thought for a minute. “Can’t as in, not supposed to, or can’t, as in you don’t know?”

Index finger. First one.

“Is there a penalty if you do tell me?”

Thumbs down.

“So, really, there’s not anything stopping you from telling me except you keeping your word,” I pointed out.

Thumbs down.

Wait, what?

“There is something other than your word keeping you from telling me, but it’s not a penalty.”

Thumbs up.

“You literally can’t tell me, can you?”

Thumb still up. That explained the twenty-questions game, and her terseness lately.

“Are you physically incapable of making the words go, or is something preventing the words from getting there once they go?”

Two fingers. Second option.

“What is Xiomara thinking!?” I blurted angrily.  “This is over the line. She may have the authority to put the Council under watch for our safety, since Safety is her jurisdiction, but dinking around in your head!?  She can’t do that!”

I glanced back at Tyche, her hand in a thumbs down. “Something I said was wrong.” Thumb up. “She doesn’t have the authority to go poking around in your head.”

Thumb stayed up.

“Who does?”

She flapped her hand. Apparently can’t tell me that either.

“Did they have your permission to do this?”

Tyche made a ‘sort of’ waver with her hand before giving a thumbs-up.  At this point I wanted to scream in frustration. 

Keeping my eyes on her hand, I started talking, playing a sort of hot and cold. “The only person who has the authority to poke around in your head is you…” Thumb up. “Unless you’re unconscious.” Thumb down. “So you were awake and aware, and gave permission…..” Sort of, yeah, again. “But someone suggested it…” Thumb up. “Was it Xiomara?” Thumb down. “Antoine?” Thumb down. “Was anyone else in the room?” Thumb down, to my relief.

Wait. Thumb down?

“This was your idea!?” I shrieked, resisting the urge to tackle her when she gave a thumbs up.  “And you thought I was being an idiot!? Tyche, how could you do that!?”

She sat up, gasping for air. “I knew I would tell you at some point.  I let it slip a dozen times, and you were so distracted you didn’t notice. So, since Antoine and Derek were clever enough to set up the proximity alerts for those of us who are triggered by random strangers touching us, I asked if whop could set it up so you couldn’t hear me, even if I did slip.”

Hang on. “Say that last part again, slower.”

 “I asked if wherb could set it up so you couldn’t hear me, even if I did slip.”

“Oh my gods,” I whispered. “That’s why you haven’t been talking.  It’s garbled when you say something I shouldn’t hear, isn’t it?”

She nodded and started talking. It sounded like someone speaking backwards, through a voice distorter, while underwater. “Tyche, it sounds like I’m having another stroke.”

She nodded, and made a ‘keep going’ gesture. 

“It’s supposed to, isn’t it? Because even though the brain damage was fixed and I can hear fine now, I had hearing issues for so long that you knew I would brush it off and not think anything of it.”

She nodded again, lips pressed in a firm line. “Because I would notice not hearing you at all, or any noise replacing it, or anything like that. But I literally never noticed that my hearing was garbled again until I was looking for it. Which I wouldn’t, because I should be able to hear fine.”

“Yep,” she confirmed with a firm, final nod.

“Sneaky bitch,” I muttered.  It was clever, I had to give her that.  I thought back over the past week and all our interactions, trying to determine if any specific topics triggered the parts I couldn’t understand. I started at the day she punched me, and something stood out in screaming neon with alarm bells attached.  “We.  When you were chewing me out in the gym that day, you kept saying ‘we’. We were counting on Bjornson thinking I’m helpless. We thought we had the advantage.” I paused as one sentence stood out, even clearer and louder than the rest. “This time, he’s got more people than Arantxa did, but we thought we had the advantage…. Because we knew who they were, we knew what they thought…”  I focused on her, and felt nothing but fear and confusion as I whispered. “Tyche, how do you know who they are and what they think? How deep into this did Xio drag you?”

 She stared at me, wide-eyed and helpless as garbled words fell from her lips.

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#the miys #family #found family #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #aliens #sci fi #science fiction #original writing #apocalypse #earth is space australia #original sci fi #my writing

[polly-chan]

The story of Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is a Metroidvania style videogame developed and published by Team Cherry. It introduces a very interesting lore, telling the story of a Knight without a past on a quest to save the abandoned insect kingdom of Hallownest.

In this meta I want to analyze the lore of the entire game, which is very interesting and addictive. Obviously this article is full of spoilers for those who have not yet played the game. Also this analysis is based a lot on what I found written in the Hollow Knight wiki, even if I had some personal reflection.

In the Kingdom of Hallownest there are many different important primordial higher beings, god-like bugs who have lived since the beginning of time, and others who are more recent but who are nevertheless divinized by the inhabitants of the Kingdom.  However, for a better analysis we must first introduce a summary of the Hallownest’s history in game.

The Hollow Knight (the one who gives the title to the videogame) is a Vessel chosen by the Pale King to seal away the Radiance and save Hallownest from the Infection. As wiki says, they were the child of the King and the Queen of Hallownest, birthed in the Abyss to be infused with the power of the Void. Because of that we consider them genderless and their birth condition was also supposed to leave them without a mind, will and voice. Thanks to this particular condition, void creatures are the only ones that can contain the Radiance, since the Radiance feed themselves with the light of dreams also distorting them as if they were physical entities.  However purity of the Hollow Knight was misjudged because they created an emotional bond with the Pale King who raised them.

“Regardless of their impurity, the Hollow Knight was trained and raised, eventually becoming  a fully grown Vessel. The Radiance was sealed within them, and they were chained within the Temple of the Black Egg where they were expected to contain the Infection for eternity. However, because of the aforementioned impurities, the Radiance could still exert influence. It ultimately resulted in the resurgence of the Infection and the Kingdom falling into ruin. Over time, the Hollow Knight disappeared from the fallen Kingdom’s memory. Only the Memorial in the middle of the City of Tears testifies of their sacrifice to save Hallownest. After some time, the Radiance’s power broke out of the Hollow Knight, cracking their shell and fully infecting them. This event was the catalyst that brought the Knight back to Hallownest. The Knight can free and fight the Hollow Knight after killing the three Dreamers who sealed the Black Egg’s entrance” .

The fate of the Hollow Knight is linked to the end of the game chosen by players, because there are different finals:

-          by killing the Hollow Knight the Knight takes their place in sealing the Radiance;

-          by entering their mind with the help of Hornet the Knight can chase away the Radiance;

-          by defeating Absolute Radiance at the peak of the Pantheon of Hallownest the Infection vanishes forever  and the Hollow Knight can then be seen walking out of the Black Egg’s temple, freed from the Infection.

Now let’s move on ti analyze the main divinities in the game’s lore.

The Radiance:

“The light. Forgotten. The plague, the infection, the madness that haunts the corpses of Hallownest… the light that screams out from the eyes if this dead Kingdom. What is the source? I suppose mere mortals like myself will never understand”.

The Radiance is a secret final boss and the Absolute Radiance is her final form. She’s one of the higher being god-like bugs above mentioned, opposed to the Void, her ancient enemy. She gave birth to the Moth tribe and because of that they revered her. Unlike the individualist society of Hallownest the Radiance offered unity to bugs at the cost of a mind incapable of thought.

“After the Pale King arrived in Hollownest and expanded the minds of his new subjects, the Moth Tribe turned their backs in the Radiance and worshipped him instead. In doing so, the Radiance was almost entirely forgotten, Yet traces of her memory remained, such as a statue on Hollownest’s Crown. Her memory started spreading throughout the Kingdom, by then in its golden age. Soon, all of Hallownest began to dream of her, appearing to them as a blazing light. These dreams could break the minds of bugs and eventually enslave their wills to hers. But the King and his subjects resisted her memory, which started to manifest as the Infection. The Pale King attempted to stop the Infection by sealing the Radiance within a Vessl. These creatures, infused with the Void to be without a mind and a will, were to be able to withstand the Radiance’s influence. The Hollow Knight was chosen, raised and grown for that purpose. The Radiance was sealed within them, and the Vessel chained within the Temple of the Black Egg. However, the Pale King failed to realise the Vessel’s impurities of mind. Because of this, the Radiance was still able to invade the dreams of bugs. She ultimately wiped out the Kingdom of its inhabitants, whose King had vanished, but left the rest of the land untouched.

Time passed, Hallownest turned into a myth while the Radiance remained sealed. Her influence finally started to break out of the Hollow Knight. She regnited the full power of the Infection, threatening again the land of Hallownest and prompting the Knight to return to Hallownest”.

I found the use of light as a villain very interesting. In fictions light usually wins over darkness as god wins over evil, but in the Kingdom of Hallownest she’s the real enemy, since, in real life, the bugs follow the light blindly. However I’d like to introduce a theory now.

We can consider the Kingdom of Hallownest as built on three levels:

-          the higher level is the outside world on the surface and from which the light comes through: this maybe recalls heaven, but as we said for the bugs is more comparable to hell. The vision of something which comes from a otherwordly dimension can drive everyone crazy;

-          the middle level is the realm, with its inhabitants;

-          the lower level is the Abyss: in fictions the Abyss usually recalls hell but that’s not totally true for Hollow Knight because of different reasons:

i)                    we can find the corpse of the Vessel used and thrown away by the Pale King, but it’s also the place that gave birth to our heroe, so it cannot be considered totally negative;

ii)                   the game tells us that the Kingdom of Hallownest is a tribute to all what bugs have been in life and this fills with a different meaning this place;

iii)                 we can find the Void into the Abyss and thanks to them we can defeat the Radiance forever.

So, in other words, in Hollow Knight’s lore the meaning of heaven and hell is reversed.

If we consider this theory true, we can finally appreciate why Radiance chooses to punish Moth tribe: another recurring theme in the narrative is the God who punishes men who turn their backs. Moth tribe chose the Pale King because he promised wellness, an earthly value, forever. This is clearly a sin and the tribe deserves to be punished.

The Void:

The Void is the substance of The Abyss, most of them is found in a sea at the bottom of the Abyss, but multiple beings exist who consist of Void themselves. The Void is “the power opposed”: it has the ability to oppose the light based Radiance and Pale King, who are both describes as light. When the Knight acquires the Void Heart and learns about their past the Void is unified under their will.

Since the Void completely leaks any kind of emotion and the hope It is capable of containing the Radiance, who feeds herself with dreams as if they were physical entities. Its nature of nothingness allows it to be filled with something  and that’s why having been raised by the King made the Hollow Knight feel love and become imperfect.  

The Pale King and his Queen:

“The old king of Hallownest… he must have been desperate to save his crumbling little world. The sacrifices he imposed on other… all for nothing”.

The Pale King is considered to be a higher being who used to be the monarch of Hallownest, mate of the White Lady and ruler of the White Palace. We find him dead on his throne in the White Palace. I am sure he died of despair for not being able to find the bathroom in that absurd place he called home and whoever has played that level will agree with me. I mean, the architect should be sued.

As wiki says, he’s an ancient Wyrm who wandered through mountains and across the wasteland until finally stopping by Kingdom’s Edge. Once there, the Wyrm shed the skin and transformed himself into the Pale King. He reduced his form in order to match the bugs of Hallownest.

Contrary to what is commonly said, I don’t’ think he is a higher being for real. I think he was a mortal bug like all the others, but remaining mostly closed in his Palace he was deified by his subjects. As a matter of fact, while the Radiance has never stopped giving her people the light she promised, the Pale King has not kept his promises and if he really was a divinity he would not have died. He symbolizes the earthly power and the aura of divine that hovers around monarchical figures, who do not mix themselves with their subjects, they often make promises that they cannot keep remaining enclosed in sumptuous palaces.

Moreover, the children whom the Pale King and the Queen gave birth to are just vessels, which are mortal remains and not divine spirit: it’s the difference between the mortal body of Jesus Christ (given to him by his mortal mother) and his immortal spirit (given to him by the divine father). In the same way, the Knight possesses the mortal remains of their parents but infused with the spirit of emptiness that characterized their divine nature.

Anyway, the Pale King gives to his people free will, while the Radiance claims intellectual slavery.

The Knight:

“An enigmatic wanderer who descends into Hallownest carrying only a broken nail to fend off foes” – official manual.

The Knight is the protagonist of the videogame. A discarded Vessel, child of the Pale King and the White Lady, born in the Abyss with Void inside their shell. Like the rest of their Vessel siblings is genderless. They embody emptiness: they are not created by anyone except by emptiness itself. They are a messianic figure who bring peace to the Kingdom.

Nightmare King Grimm:

“The expanse of dream in past was split,

One realm now must stay apart,

Darkest reaches, beatin red,

Terror of sleep. The Nightmare’s Heart”.

Nightmare King Grimm is the Dream form of Tropue Master Grimm: “Through dream I travel, at lantern’s call to consume the flames of a kingdom’s fall”. As wiki says, The Grimm Tropue is a mysterious travelling circus from the Nightmare realm to wherever the Nightmare Lantern has been lit by acolytes. They gather Nightmare Flames from ruined lands to fuel the sinister being enslaving the Troupe, the Nightmare’s Heart. The Nightmare is the dimension where the Nightmare’s Heart rests. The Nightmare’s Heart is the proper host of the Nightmare, as the Radiance is the host of the Dream. The Nightmare’s Heart is a higher being responsible for the Ritual of the Grimm Troupe, Grimmchild and Troupe Master Grimm are its spawn.

#hollow knight #team cherry #lore #videogame #indiegame #soulslike #meta #analysis

[maisstories]

I Need Your Help

To be more precise, my girlfriend needs your help. The reason I am the one writing this text is because right now she is so depressed and discouraged that she doesn’t have the strength to believe asking for help would make a difference, and that… that terrifies me.

For those who don’t know us, I am Mai, and my girlfriend is Kari. Under different circumstances, we should have our lives all nicely sorted out, but as we are all aware, we live in the kind of dystopian world society at large likes to pretend only happens in fiction. Especially Kari. You see, I’m from Spain, and Kari is from the US. This means an entire ocean separates us (otherwise I would’ve bundled her up and brought her home, believe me).

Kari is a poor wlw who lives in a very conservative area (as in, Bible Belt conservative). She has ADHD, which went untreated most of her life, hampering her at every turn. First, because she grew up in a very conservative Catholic family and most Catholic families just Don’t Believe in Those Things. Now… well, now because she has no medical insurance and can’t afford to pay for medication. Cute, isn’t it? And that’s not even the best part. Kari has depression, that I mentioned, but this whole situation, and the hopelessness it causes her, has brought forth suicidal ideation. I don’t have the words to express just how scared I am by this. It paralyzes me. There is nothing, physically nothing I can do if they ever get the better of her.

To add to this, it has been made abundantly clear to Kari that her parents won’t help her if she becomes homeless. They didn’t want a child to begin with. A gay child? Yeah, no, forget about it.

(On a bit of a bright note, Kari has two adopted cats, which are the cutest fur balls over. They’re her closest emotional support most days, and I am very grateful for them. I can’t cuddle her or be physically there for her at all, but I can at least ask her to go cuddle them. They’re not even on the particularly scratchy side for cats).

Currently, Kari has a job, but despite taking on as many extra hours as possible, she cannot make enough money for rent. In fact, she cannot make many other basic necessities, which I will list here because they’re important, I am worried sick, and we really do need help:

-Work: Kari lost her previous job for one of those completely absurd, US-only reasons back in late October. I say absurd because any company trying to pull that shit here in Spain, and most likely anywhere in the European Union, would’ve been fined out of business. But hey, Country of Freedom and all that, isn’t it? She finally found a new job mid-November. Lower pay, though, which means it doesn’t help her cover full rent.

-Rent: As many people in the US will know, and others not from the US will have heard, rent outside of isolated areas is ridiculously expensive, especially for such a large and unpopulated country. The Wonders of Capitalism. As such, Kari is forced to pay a truly monstrous amount of money for a minuscule space to live in, one that ate up most of her previous salary and that surpasses her current one.

-Bills: Let’s not forget these. She rations. As much as she can. Electricity, water, internet… she goes for cheapest and least use, so far as to monitor her use of water during showers, but this still adds to her expenses.

-Food: Now’s where things get to a truly awful degree. When she moved to the place she lives in now (and if anyone wants the story that led to this move, please ask, because that’s an entirely other level of fucked up), she had to apply for food stamps, because she had barely no money left to feed herself and her two adopted cats after all the mandatory expenses. Food stamps people don’t look at the money you have left after bills, they just look at your income, so she was allotted $16. Useful, right? Anyway, fast forward to late October: Kari loses her job, so, obviously, one of the first things she does is contact the food stamps people to update her situation and have her allotment reevaluated. No response. Contact again. No response. This keeps going on. Mid-November, she gets a new job (still no response from the food stamps people despite the many attempts to contact them). Last Friday, her food supplies consisted of a bit of chicken, two fish fillets, and a couple eggs. I do not kid you. Today, the food stamp people finally answered her call: they won’t look into her case until, at least, December.

That’s it for the basics. As you see, it’s a wonderful situation.

Now, my role in this, as I’m sure some of you are wondering.

Let me start by saying this: I am a heavily disabled woman (nearly blind) living in an isolated area with the worst public transport system this side of the Mediterranean Sea. I am incapable of even getting out of home without assistance and someone to drive me at the moment. This means, having a job where I currently live is out of the question (I’m working on getting a job somewhere else where I’ll be able to live on my own. Sort of). My only source of income right now is my Patreon account, the earnings of which go fully to Kari because my girlfriend’s wellbeing matters to me much more than anything I could ever need for myself. I may say whatever I want about my parents’ belief that my relationship isn’t real because they don’t believe you can forge real connections through the internet (or the fact they want me to have a BOYfriend because they want grandchildren), but at least they’re so terrified I’ll break the moment I step outside on my own that they take good care of me.

Still, unfortunately, I’m only a writer, and a writer’s Patreon doesn’t make enough money to cover for such serious issues.

But Kari is the most important person in my life. I’m not exaggerating. I never thought I’d fall in love. I’ve always been the weird one out, the blind kid teachers coddled too much out of pity so other kids disliked and picked on, the one who was so odd that didn’t even fit with the weird kids in school. That happened everywhere, anywhere I went. Even in some fandom groups. It came to the point I stopped trying. It came to the point I thought once my parents died I wouldn’t have anyone. I’d stopped making plans for the future. There was no future for me.

And then I met Kari. She can make me smile with a silly gif and an obscure quote I thought no one else knew at 3am when I’m on the verge of tears because I feel trapped in my own house; she can get me excited about doing a joint cosplay in the distant future when I’d given up on cosplay years ago because I had no one who wanted to go to cons with me; she listens to my stupid history rants and even shows interest in them, when the most I’m used to getting are eye rolls and a change of topic.

Kari is the best that’s happened to me. Ever. And I want her to be happy. I want her to not have to worry about rent; I want her to be able to buy herself a chocolate bar because she feels like it without having to feel guilty for wasting the money. I want her to be able to live without the fear of being evicted every month, without having to worry about tomorrow’s meals because she ran out of food stamps and the fridge has only a can of soup left for the weekend. I want her to be able to go to the doctor when she’s sick and buy the medication she needs to get better.

But I don’t have the power to do this. Not now, not yet. So I’m asking you, everyone out there, to please help us. Help her.

And, I’m afraid, November is an awful month for Kari. Due to the late date at which she found her new job, she is missing a large chunk of rent. I’m doing everything in my power to gather money, and I ask —no, beg— you to help. Donate something, anything. Even if it is small, many small donations can make a difference.

Originally, we wanted to do a GoFundMe page with a three-month goal of 975 dollars to cover that period’s expenses (yes, guys, we’re missing about 500 this month. It’s that horrible), but every single crowdfunding website we have found works through bank accounts. Banks in the US are sharks; they tax you for not having enough income, for not having enough activity… Basically, if you’re poor in the US, you have to pay to have a bank account that will never have any money in it because the bank will eat it up. So, until we find an alternate crowdfunding site that allows to collect through paypal, we have set us several other safe forms through which you guys can donate to help Kari.

Paypal.Me: https://paypal.me/findyourwaycrafts

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/findyourway

Kari has a crafts store, because she is a fantastic artist (and you should totally check it out), with much stuff already on it and other stuff planned to come:

Store: https://findyourway.storenvy.com/

Store Tumblr: https://findyourwaycrafts.tumblr.com/

However, these things take time to take off, and we are running out of time in November. So please, please, help us cover the remainder of Kari’s rent for this month. Even if it’s just a dollar, three, five, a purchase of a necklace. Anything. Please, help us. Help Kari keep a roof over her head this Winter.

#help #signal boost #crowdfunding #fundraising #capitalism #solidarity #homelesness #long post #lgbtqa+ #adhd #disability #usa #i know this is far from my usual stuff #but this is very important to me #kari is my beloved girlfriend and I'm terrified for her #please help her

[spindaonateaspoon]

Yo there! Oh all those spindas in the background are making me dizzy haha (one of my fave pokemon actually, love them). Okay, sooo that's pretty random ask but what are your top ten black clover characters? :D

Ah, a tumblr user of taste, I see. Glad you could get past the vertigo to send me an ask, I really appreciate it! Next time you can save your eyes a little stress and ask my interest blog @thespiralgrimoire instead!

Top 10 Favorite Black Clover Characters

1. Nozel Silva

There are a lot of reasons I absolutely adore this unhinged bedazzled train wreck of a man. I thought my love for him couldn’t swell any bigger when I watched the anime, and then I started reading the manga, and he only gets better.

First and foremost, he’s pretty. In an extremely conventional way, but hey, it’s conventional for a reason. Even with his stupid hair, he’s just nice to look at. This is despite the fact that he literally never smiles, which is usually an important feature to appearances to me. But coming back to the braid thing, he KNOWS it’s stupid, and you know  he knows it’s stupid, because he literally threatens the lives of people who criticize it. The boy made a bad aesthetic decision once when he was like 19 and said, “Oh shit. If I don’t own this, I will never live this down. It’s time to do or die.” And he owned it. He is doomed to look this stupid for the rest of his life or face an endless assault of naysayers. His pride will not allow it.

Which brings me to the next thing I love about him: He’s such an arrogant twat. Everything about Nozel screams “I’m better than you, and if you disagree with me, I will throw myself on the floor and cry.” He will not allow anyone to even entertain the idea that he’s not perfect. Even himself. Even when it’s glaringly obvious that he’s a hot mess. During the star festival, when he hears that the black bulls came in second, He Mcfreakin loses it. He gets so mad that when he can’t make Yami feel ashamed for being himself, he literally STOMPS OUT OF THE FESTIVAL.  It’s chapter 104. Look it up. I’m not exaggerating.

Finally, I’m a slut for siblings, and the Silva Squad is an endless goldmine. That dynamic is what gets me through the day. I could live off sibling dynamics. Nebra and Solid worship the ground he walks on, and Noelle can’t help but look up to him, even if he’s been a huge douchenozzel to her her entire life. At this point it’s all conjecture for how that relationship will develop, but got damn, I’m in this for the long hall.

2. Fuegoleon Vermillion

Again, this man is so pretty. They really got their royal aesthetics right in this show. I am a simple person, with simple desires, and pretty men that I can make fun of is about all I need to be happy.

That being said, Fuegoleon is a nice guy. Despite having every reason to have the Higher Than Thou attitude that Nozel has, he’s respectful of everyone. This, charmingly, extends to how he treats people for better or worse. My home boy ain’t walking around pretending everyone is deserving of hand holding and forgiveness. He’s beating everyone over the head when they do something stupid. NO ONE is immune to a Teachable Moment.

Which is probably the funniest thing about him. This man is incapable of not teaching. The entire city is being overrun by zombies and he stops in the middle of defending citizens to give Noelle a pep talk and magic lesson??? Bro. Time and place, my dude. I love you.

Actually the funniest thing about him is that despite obviously being the most reserved of the Vermillions, this guy has no chill. If he’s not screaming passionately about something that someone needs to learn, he’s squaring up. He has no off switch. Sure, he’s not running around with his fists up like Meoroleona and Leopold, but if you think he’s going to be any slower to throw a punch than they are then you and I are watching different anime. He may canonically be the most intelligent of the captains, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not a meathead. And I think that’s beautiful.

Okay the ranks get harder after this because these two are so easily my favorite LOL

3. Meoroleona Vermillion

I could say a lot of things about Meoroleona, but to save some space, I’m going to refer you to #2, and also show you my favorite character from Steven Universe. You do the math.

4. and 5. Nebra and Solid Silva

These two are such bitches. At this point in the series, they only exist to a) be Nozel’s hype men and b) be the bane of Noelle’s existence, and as a writer, I respect that. There’s not a lot to them in canon, but that hasn’t stopped me from designing their entire lives and backstory. I love them so much; not only for what I’ve made them out to be, but for where they could go as characters. We’ve already seen this a little bit with their asses being handed to them in fights, and I just hope that their asses continue to get handed to them until they come around to have some respect for anyone but each other and themselves. In the meantime I’ll continue developing their personalities on an interpersonal level.

Okay I’m not done. The REAL reason these guys made 4th and 5th is because, like I mentioned before, I am a slut for sibling relationships. Black Clover does them s o well. Even with the little we’ve seen, it’s so easy to tell that their love for Nozel and each other is so deep and sincere... even if it might be just a tad bit dysfunctional. There’s so much ground to cover with how the death of their mother affected them and pushed them closer together. But I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have been super close had she stayed alive. You can just tell in everything they do that they live for each other. They’re EVERYTHING to each other. You get the impression that these two probably don’t really know how to be people separate from their siblings, because all they’ve ever had is each other. It’s such a great dynamic to grow and explore and if we don’t get more Silva interaction in the future I’m gonna throw a fit.

6. Ladros

Okay this is the point where this list starts getting a little wonky because I like almost everyone else in the series just about the same but---

I have feelings about Ladros Ladros. I don’t even know what it is about him. His design is impeccable. Every time I see him I want to scream. What emotion does he instill in me? Love? Hate? Lust? Disgust? I really don’t know. I just know that there’s a lot of it. Look at his little black eyes. Look at his smile. His hair. His barrel chest that doesn’t fit his twink face. What a man. I sure do feel about him.

Also, he’s my preferred brand of Little Shit.

7. Zora Ideale

Everything that applies to Ladros applies to Zora in exactly the same way. Priddy and meen. At least his face fits his body.

8. Finral Roulacase

He’s such a sweetheart, and I like his new haircut. I wish he was real so he could be my friend. And I cannot stress this enough: I feel that way about NO ONE else on this list. The rest of these assholes are better off fictional, but the world needs more Finrals.

9. Henry Legolant

Unlike every other character on this list, I actually don’t think that Henry’s design is all that pretty. What I love about Henry is that his whole personality is “My fragile heart is overflowing with love and care for all my friends... and if you so much as think about hurting them, I will pound your bones to dust.” And he follows through. King.

10. Dorothy Unsworth

There is no way that glitzy baby doll Dorothy wasn’t going to end up on this list BEFORE I found out that she and Nozel have feelings jams in Glamor World. Once we see more of her I’m sure she’ll fly up the list.

So, there you go! Thank you so much for the ask! This was really a struggle to put together after #5, but I had a great time doing it.

#spinda tea #black clover #reblogged to thespiralgrimoire #if you want to see my mumbling in the tags read it there

[ganymedesclock]

I think speculative fiction that is written either explicitly or implicitly excluding disabilities and neurodivergence does the entire genre an egregious disservice.

Because ultimately, scifi and fantasy as genres nigh-inevitably include, in their cast, People who are not Human, but who are unmistakably People. Whether that’s elves or vampires or the jellyfish people of Saturn 7, writers of fantasy and scifi inevitably populate their world with more than the ‘baseline of humanity’.

If you can earnestly empathize and cheer for someone who does not need the same things as ‘humans’, who does not act the same way, who has very different perceptions of situations or behavior- then you can do the same for the very people you share a planet with who have the same problems. If you’ve already done the work of including dwarves, then there is no reason not to include disabled people. There is no reason not to include neurodivergent people.

That, to me, is the real tragedy of bigotry- we have the capacity to understand, right there. I don’t think there’s literally anyone in the planet who is literally incapable of not being racist. How much someone refuses to change is exclusively a product of stubbornness. If you can enjoy a story with an elf hero, you can enjoy a story with a disabled hero. If you can read along and accept the parameters laid out for a fictitious alien race, can understand and empathize with their inability to go anywhere loud because of the different way their ears are structured, then you are most of the way to understanding a disabled character.

Because I’ll talk myself blue in the face about the way we treat aliens, the way we treat fantasy races, and, for a moment now, I’ll be honest with you: this is not because I think we are in extreme danger of offending aliens.

It’s because I am a person who, through many facets of my identity- as a dfab demiboy, as a developmentally disabled person, as an aroace person- I feel an outsider to things I am told are fundamental human experiences. Only girls have breasts, they say. This is a Human Rule, this is how Humans Are. Humans are only boys or girls. They are not both, they are not neither, they are not Mostly One But Sort Of. Humans can control their ability to focus. Humans are not dramatically sensitive to tactile experiences. Humans do not flap their hands when they are happy, or rock in place to think. Humans fall in (romantic) love with other people, but only ones that are the Other Human Gender because remember there’s only two of those.

Because I have been told, over and over and over again, these are the Human Experiences, this is not just Correct but Normal and living outside of that is not a choice it is an aberration- I have internalized a certain idea of myself as a fringe entity, as not human. I embraced the world of speculative fiction because it showed me people who were Not Human, and who were okay- who were happy, loved, important, heroic, powerful. Seeing Spock being Spock, and accepted that he doesn’t experience or express emotions the way that we are told is a Normal Human Rule, but who is still a widely known and earnestly beloved character in a widely known and storied installment of the genre- it’s taught me for a long time to feel like I am okay.

But on the other side, sometimes I need to take the mask off, for my own sake, and for others. I need to say that the Human Rules are made up. I need to say that I actually am human- that I am real, that I am not fantastical, and I am not only acceptable when translated into something that neurotypical and able-bodied people find cool. That it is not acceptable to treat people like me like we are inevitably subordinate entities in the stories of Real Humans, because we are. We are real. We are real beings. I am here writing these words, and posting them, because I am real.

And because of that, even if I will always adore the fantastical mask, while I will always defend that mask- I need to be able to take it off. As writers of speculative fiction, we need to tell disabled and neurodivergent people- just as one category among many that we need to tell this to- that they can be fantastical as well, but they can also be normal. That you don’t have to go select the monster race before you can find options that have hair like yours. 

#writing ruminations #long post

[sylverquill]

just musing as I finish my work

like I was saying the other day, I have a lot of difficulty with emotions. this is only something I’ve really begun to properly recognize recently, because again, so used to just suppressing everything — I really hate saying I’m traumatized, because I don’t feel what’s happened to me is enough to legitimately be called “trauma,” but clearly I have been affected. I am incapable of controlling and regulating myself properly. I’ve realized that it’s not normal.

and after the emotional hell that was yesterday, I’m thinking? like. obviously my husbands are very important to me. I know it probably seems incredibly selfish and superficial, since I have so many of them and I’m constantly finding new ones. but like I was saying the other day, my husbands are one of the few things in my life that make me feel anything recognizable at all, and it’s a very positive emotion. so of course to someone as suppressed and incapable of processing things as I am,,, that is something very precious that I cherish.

now obviously things have turned around with Shota, and I still have him, and oh my god I’m so relieved I can’t properly articulate it. this is going to sound stupid as hell, but I was legitimately grieving. just as strongly as I grieved the death of my dog or the end of important friendships. even now, typing this, despite knowing he’s okay and I can still have him, I’m tearing up. that was too strong of a blow. and now I’m grieving Randy, even though he’s not gone quite yet. it’s going to be a long process.

so obviously a big part of this is related to my own emotional issues. since I was young, in place of the many relationships that I was not allowed to have or could not handle due to, y’know, Trauma, I’ve always turned to fictional characters to form my connections. they are safe. they are constant. I do not have a home and family, not in reality — they became my home and family. so of course, if anything happens, to me it’s the same as losing a real-life friend or family member.

but with these characters specifically, I met them at a very pivotal time in my life. fifteen and sixteen was like,,, we know I’m lacking in a good portion of my memories, but I know that’s about when I really started to change. It was a bit early, but I was preparing for college, trying to settle on something for the rest of my existence. that was also around the time when I realized I legitimately don’t want to follow my parents’ plans, I don’t want to be a puppet or a machine. and obviously that was a massive identity conflict that I’m still struggling with to this day. many of my current issues surfaced around that age — because that’s when I realized I at least have the option to struggle and fight back. yes, I am very unhappy, but I think? I’m at least growing as a person. I think I’m different than who I was even when I started college. I don’t know how I’m different, but I think I am. 

And I know that now, no matter what, it’s no longer an option for me to be who my parents raised. that entire scenario is over. metaphorically speaking, because I love being dramatic, I’ve set all their plans ablaze. even if I wanted to go back, I can’t, because I’m someone else, and those plans weren’t written with this me in mind.

and Shota and Randy and Jack and Sion and all the others were there right when that was starting to happen in my life. just like with Zexal and TWEWY and Bravely Default. it’s something that I experienced at the right time in my life, and it’s left a permanent impact on me. like, if I ever get married to a real man, he’s legitimately going to have to put up with all these fictional boys because I am so invested in them and I’ve changed so much and they’ve been the only constant in my life, no matter who I’ve been and no matter who I will be.

so that’s part of why I was grieving so hard, I think. not just because I adore Shota Todomi beyond words, but also because it feels like an entire portion of my life is just outright gone forever now. the things that left such an emotional impact on me cannot be experienced in the same or similar ways ever again. and that’s not something I’ve had to face too much of in my life. it’s a very foreign experience, and a very unpleasant one.

but anyways. I’ve spent way more time on this than I needed to, because I only had like three sentences left on my exam but now I’ve been crying adjshflk lmao. I’m learning to process everything. I know this is really weird to read, and I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be quite like this at this age. but I also know my existence has not been a very common or easily understandable one.

so anyways I adore Shota Todomi more than anything and I’m so glad to have him

#quill to the page #I need a tag for these #for now I'll use #whirring processors #bc the machine analogy amuses me