#like keeping some of gill's features i got going on in my design like his nose and hair and the tattoos being the skin markings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cannibalcreeps · 3 years

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Biggest Wetlen Post List

Here will be every post I made about the Wetlens from asks, art, random and info, it’s underneath simply due to how long it is. Since I know some of you are very new to the Wetlens I made sure to grab every post that is related to them so you are able to learn more about them 😘

Btw this thing is long enjoy going through it lol

The first post of Slough

Second post of Slough and first post of the twins

Sad Slough

Old post of Slough and Trevor (rip Trevor for being benched)

First show of Cherri

First sneak peak of the family, my gosh we have go a long way

Slough WIP featuring Creeps

Three brothers WIP

Hog and Slough getting love

First HCs of Cherri

First WIP of the Twins

CherriXReader Lemon

First Slough HCs

Art of Wetlens meeting The Hilliker Brothers

Anon asking Slough to be their wingman for Cherri art

First sketch of Uncle Edward (Haggon) with Jade and info

The first art of Velvet and Mourge, with Haggon (the parents hadn’t gotten names at this point)

First mention of a Wetlen’s cousin

The start of the Wetlen tree with names!

Anon being a big ass drooling SIMP for Cherri

First upgrade sketch of the Twins

Twin update art post

Simpin’ over Sloughs hairy tum and boobs

Finally the Wetlen Character info sheet ft. Cassy (sadly has spelling errors)

Cherri with his prosthetic on

Hog HCs info

Anon asking Cherri to eat them (poor Cherri looks strangely drawn here haha)

How the Wetlen’s would react to their s/o in Cowboy hat and lingerie

Anon asking how deformed Lurfi’s kid would be

Anon asking where the Wetlen’s live

Anon imagining Lurfi with a daughter and Slough being a great uncle

Anon ask where Mourge abd Velvet capable of talking

The reason behind the Wetlen siblings names

Who was smartest between Velvet and Mourge

Anon asking recovery of Velvet and Bonnies births

Anon about Hog and Lurfi being big babies

Pronouncing the Wetlen’s names

Slough is best boi

First vs. Last Wetlen siblings drawn together

Anon asking if the Wetlens only eat people

Anon feeling bad for Velvet (when they shouldn’t lol)

Why the Wetlens came out the way they are anon ask

Anon ask whose best at sex, Saw-Tooth or Mourge

How sadistic were Velvet and Mourge

Anon ask about which Wetlens are Mummy or Daddy parents as well as Cherri being a dad

Wetlen’s and their bad teeth

Anon ask if Siblings would keep the traditions

Can Edward/Haggon talk

What happened to Griff

Are Melma and Paupii alive (but we accidently called her Melmi)

Anon asking about the Twins and Mibbi not having kids

How the family reacted to Haggon/Edward going missing

Anon asking about how Griff became infertile

Anon asking how Velvet and Mourge became their parents faves

Where did Cherri get his prosthetic

How the Wetlen’s eat their victims

Anon talking about Lurfi being a giant baby and having her own giant babies

Anon needs to remember Velvet deserves everything that happens to her UwU

Anon asking about how Wetlen’s would be with their kids around the victim cages

How long has Cherri been a camp groundskeeper

The Wetlens and sweets

Anon asking about Wetlen’s childrens first words and how the siblings would react

Cherri’s ideal spouse

Can the Wetlen’s read or write

The difficulty of the boys kissing with their teeth ask

Why Hog wont learn to read

The Wetlen’s and boardgames

Anon asking is Wetlens know where babies come from (they mean their Uncle Griff not Gill xD)

Anon asking where Hog got his cute fancy vest

Hogs ideal spouse

The Wetlen’s do know their birthdays

Melma and Paupii did celebrate Christmas as well UwU

Anon asks if Melma and Paupi would protect their grandkids if they knew what Velvet and Mourge did to them

Lurfi giving Mum vibes UwU

Anon saying Melma and Paupii sound like cat names

About Melma and Paupii’s marriage

Anon asking about Griff and Ogie

Anon asking about if Mourge/Velvet and Bonnie/Griff had a wedding

Anon asking about Melma and Paupii’s family

Cherri with his braids out

Anon saying Cherri’s hair looks like a mullet

First sketch of Adeline (Cherri’s kid)

Meme post of Cherri and Addie

Explaining Addie has Strawberry Nevus on her face

Anon asking what type of deformity the Wetlens have

Anon asking about how they get generators

Anon asking how Cherri mocks victims

Cherri is a thot destroyer

How much of a whore is Cherri

Cherri getting dunked on by anon for not wearing condoms

Cherri still getting blasted for not wearing a rubber

Cherri’s first sexual encounter ever

Jokes about Cherri being shocked at being a dad

Continues to joke on Cherri, the first sign of Elizabeth’s name

Anon asking who chose Addie’s name

More jokes on Cherri

Anon asking bout Adeline’s height as she gets older

Will Liz live in the swamp or town?

Anon asking bout how Liz must be happy to have a small baby

Anon asking if Addie has a nose

What type of babies were the Wetlens

Anon asks if Mibbi is bitter at being small

Anon asks why Velvet and Mourge didn’t name their kids

Anon ask about the Wetlens choosing names for their kids

What Addie was like as a baby

Anon making cute scene of Slough

Lurfi HCs!

The Twins HCs

What the siblings do on their spare time

Sloughs ideal spouse

Jokes on Cherri and Addie

Hog and Slough S/O being happy they’re pregnant ask

Ask about Cherri killing a creep camp counselor

How Cherri is with a smol and a petite S/O

Cherri having a stripper name lol

About Lurfi being a midwife

Joking of Cherri some more lol more joking and more jokes yeh we clowning on him lol also the twins ain’t safe

How large is their swamp yeh their swamp is big

Why Cherri’s hair like that?

Liz and Cherri’s ‘fun’ nights

First design hint of Liz

What if Cherri did have a bunch of kids running around somewhere?

How do shoes fit big bois Hog and Slough

Cherri adores Addie yes UwU

Why Melma and Paupii came out with extreme deformities

No, Cherri did not learn his lesson about wearing condoms lol

Anon wondering if Melma and Paupii called their first children ‘baby girl/boy’

Melma and Paupii do have good tastes in names

Addie and Cherri’s relationship

Do they have clean water?

First WIP of Elizabeth

Cherri is a dumbass yes UwU and so is Liz, a bit

Would Cherri tell Addie about their family history?

Do the Wetlens stink?

Dunking on Cherri and Liz Lurfi being brutal to Mibbi and the Twins Lurfi just chucking Mibbi like a basketball

When Liz came to Cherri about her pregnancy (this info may change later tho)

How Cherri is with Addie

How I plan to tell their story, but again this may change in future UwU

Cherri and Velvet having stripper names but don’t compare Cherri to his mummy

Jokes on you Cherri cant pay child support

They did burn money

Cherri’s hobby is sleeping

Jokes on Cherri’s parents also no spoilers on what Cassy did to Cherry yet also more about Cherri’s parents poor Addie getting too much info now about her family she will know no peace Poor Liz dealing with this as well

Anon asking if Lurfi is a bookworm

Teasing Cherri and Addie Liz picking on Cherri just bullying Cherri now Cherri just being clingy

Paupii teasing the grandkiddies

Final art piece of Elizabeth

Do Cherri and Liz still hook up

Melma and Paupii thinking noseless Cherri is cute

Cherri is a concerning parent really Cherri the sore loser Cherri doesn’t know the word consequences The twins getting told off Cherri swore around Addie once lol these siblings can fit a lot of trauma

How old is Liz

Were Melma and Paupii parents good grandparents

Who else has Mourge been with

What happens when Addie is used as a shield by a victim

Reaction of the Wetlen’s kids giving them flower crowns

Sneak peak of Melma and Paupii’s parents as well as names

Velvet does deserve what she gets UwU though her poor kids being terrorized by her and mourge getting it on Mourge and Velvet were vile

Where does Bonnie and her boys live?

What’s Ogie like Is Ogie like his whore Cousin UwU

When Bonnie and Griff learn that the Wetlen’s killed their parents Bonnie and Griff still about the Wetlen’s killing their parents

The Phillips meeting the Wetlens

Ideas about Mourge and Velvet’s final people/victims

Why does Mourge have the head scar

Info about Ogie

The Philips and the Wetlens More about the Philips and the Wetlens another joke on Phillips and Wetlens

More asks about Ogie

Where did Bonnie travel Bonnie and Griff joke How Liz and Cherri met joke

Do Ogie and his parents stink

Do Bonnie and Griff move around in their swamp

Ogies sexuality

Mourge’s Eyebrows

Did Velvet and Mourge love each other

Cherri as a baby

Velvet with her kids Some more jokes about Velvet and the kids also jokes on Mourge

Given the chance Velvet and Mourge would’ve killed Cherri

About Haggon returning home

If Melma and Paupii found out about Velvet and Mourge

Melma was the big one

Melma, Mourge, Hog and Slough sizes

Paupii was tiny

Cherri and Mibbi like Paupii

Melma and Paupii babysitting

Addie with her first cousins, once removed, joke Bonnie caring for all the kids joke

What would happen is Melma and Paupii were still alive

How old is Ogie Ogie wishing he was Cherri joke

Anon simping over Hog continuation of joke post

Cherri really being the only one who gets it in the swamp

Jokes on Hog’s ‘sex life’ The twins being nutheads Jokes on Liz and Cherri’s parenting

Is cousin Mitch big boi?

The dangers of either Bonnie’s family or The Wetlen Siblings

Are the twins equally dumb

How did Mourge and Velvet eat their victims

How the Wetlens are in bed

Why did Bonnie not leave for good Griff and Bonnie joke

About Odin and Bonnie

Does Jade have nicknames for Haggon/Edward

Chad Cherri vs. Virgin Ogie

If Edward remembered his past years

Jade having great taste

Did Melma and Paupii talk

Certain victims they avoid

Anon being thirsty bitches

Griff as a dad

Did Bonnie sleep around

Why Haggon is called Edward

About Hogs eye and another post about his eye

Lol teasing Liz picking on the twins Hog and Slough being loud fuckers

Have Wetlens been drunk

Addie a healthy baby

The Siblings living far from Bonnie and the fam

Did the Wetlens ever get high

Do the Wetlens own guns

Jokes on Hog being quiet, but loud man in bed

Is Ogie loud in bed Jokes on Cherri and Liz again more jokes on Liz Dilf Cherri

Wetlens sleeping habits

Was Cherri loud for his first time

Could the Siblings tell their twin kids apart

Anon simping over Slough and Hog again

Info on what Mourge did to Hog

Cherri telling Liz about his scars More Cherri and Liz joke posts Jokes about Hog and Slough again

Velvet and a victim of hers

Do the victims go to the cops jokes on those survivors

About Cherri and Ogies Voices

WIP art of Cherri art

Do they make teeth necklaces

Lurfi gives spanks How Lurfi is with her kids vs. her siblings Cherri and consequences Melma and Velvet about Velvets pregnancies Cherri and Liz jokes ....again

Did Malachi or Othelia regret getting together

What if there was a true crime youtbers

Addie seeing the comments on the videos both roasting and simping after her dad

About the people who killed Othelia and Malachi

Velvet and Cherri have Karren hair

Melma, Velvet and Bonnie’s height

Velvet and Mourge joke post Malachi and Othelia joke post Liz and Cherri joke post jokes on Velvet and Cherri

The birth order of Melma and Paupii’s kids

How did Melma and Paupii eat their victims

Does Velvets eye work Velvets eye joke post

Melma did love her girls UwU Cherri and Addie joke post

How old were Melma and Paupii with their first kids

Big cannibal ladies good Baby Velvet joke post

Where Malachi and Othelia good grandparents

Did Malachi and Othelia meet their grandkids

How I came up with Malachi’s name

Who was bigger Malachi or Othelia

Were Malachi and Othelia good parents

Othelia could pick up Bonnie

Anon saying to imagine Cherri having many children and them meeting Cherri

Wetlen’s interact with Alexa

Was Cherri the only one who gave his siblings names

Mitch and Ally (the siblings cousins) joke post Slough joke post

Nick names with Hog and Slough

Are the siblings afraid of bugs

The siblings fave food

Which siblings have a high libido

More about the Wetlens as parents

Who would be a helicopter parent

Their fave colours

About Melma’s eye

Again Melma, Bonnie and Velvets heights (But Bonnie got taller)

Lurfi having a bunch of kids idea anon

How old were Velvet and Mourge when Hog was born

Are Aly and Mitch twins

Did Mourge hurt Smock

The Hillikers/Wetlens with family joke post

Teen Addie joke post Teen Addie more joke post Addie joins Cherri in dumbass corner Clown shoes for Addie

Does Addie have Cherri’s mean streak

Info on how cruel Lurfi can be

Cherri, Liz, Addie joke post Anon wishes Cherri was comfortable going into town Cherri is 100% bad influence lol

Does Cherri torture his victims away from camp

Cherri has terrible pull out game

First drawing of Cherri vs. Recent

First sketch and view of Cherri new kids (ft. Addie)

Was Delilah planned

Yes the big three are getting kids

Liz and Cherri joke post again Joke post on Cherri another joke post

What did Cassy do to Cherri

Another pregnancy!

Will Morgan cause issues

Will the big three have a Morgan-like kid

Lurfi’s kid joke post more joke post some more joke posts

Cherri getting a bunch of Nephews/Nieces Even more Cherri joke post Just clowning on Cherri some more

Do they get sick

How would the big three react to their kids getting sick

Anon says cute thing for Lurfi UwU The big threes kids still being cute

Mibbi and The Twins are not best baby sitters Lurfi getting some love Mibbi and Twin are the bad influences Lurfi joke post

The Wetlen Spouses joke post more Spouse jokes

Will Addie have same-age cousins Addie could be baby sitter

Will Del have same-age cousins

What is Addie and Del like

Cherri and Addie are very alike

Addie saying Hog looks like Peppa Pig

Thinking about the big three sibling spouses

Did Melma and Paupii have a concept of protection

If Velvet lived, would she be nervous of her tall kids

Questions for the Wetlens

More Questions for the Wetlens

Even more Questions for them

Much more Questions

Yep there is still more Questions!

Would Slough share his toys

Do they know about Mother/Fathers day

Would Slough give his baby a gift joke post after this post

Which siblings are good with naps

Joke post More joke posts Hog and Slough joke post Even more joke posts Joke post on Cherri again

Mourge and Velvet being terrible parents

How often do the Wetlens get sick

Is Mibbi snarky

Slough the pushover parent

Would the Wetlens try new food

Cherri thinks very highly of himself

Cherri would bully bullies at the camp

Can Griff talk

Hog getting some love

Twins: Are we adopted? (joke post)

#Every Wetlen post you could ever ask for #CannibalCreeps #CannibalCreeps Wetlens #The Wetlens #Wetlen ocs #CannibalCreeps OCs #The Wetlens post #The Wetlens info #horror ocs info #horror ocs #slasher ocs #slasher ocs info #cannibal ocs #cannibal ocs info #I know this thing is huge #like it's a lot to go through but it's all there #also some info about them is in the tags lol cause i'm horrible like that #this took me three days to do btw

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adamarcymag · 3 years

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Responce to the @writingwithcolor about my question about black scientists in the 50s/60s

Thank you for your response! I researched and even more than George Washington Carver I found amazingly close plot points in the life of Percy Lavon Julian, that I used to write those characters. I have many black characters in this AU but only 3 of them have higher degree - going with Super/M*d Scientist archetype. They are based on white comic characters, who were scrapped to the basic idea and rewritten - because of that I don't think that specifics on who those characters are would be relevant. One of them is a hero, one is a villain, and one was invented as a villain but in my take is more True Neutral.

The Hero is mixed, half black half south-asian, but having mostly black features. His mother moved to the US from Britain. He is a calm, kind-hearted man working under the big medical company as a research chemist. He wanted to be a scholar in the university he was attending, but was denied a professorship for racial reasons.This company looks all around the world looking for fictional substances that might heal people from many illnesses. He was hired mostly due to the fact that he knew Indian dialects thanks to his mom, and they were looking for this substance in India. He was obligated mostly to work as translator between indian workers and their english-speaking supervisors, but later he could get himself to work on this “science juice”. He synthesised it to the single enzyme that was technically able to safely mutate people - change their size, giving them wings, gills, tails, increase the strength and durability without damaging the body and risking life. He was afraid that the company might use it to do evil. Keeping the discovery of substance in a secret, Hero decided that human trials would be limited to the only subject he could trust: himself. Feeling that the mutating abilities induced by this drug should be used for good purposes, he decided to use the abilities to help those in need; in other words, he would become a superhero. He crippled the company’s outpost in India and later he moved back to the US, joining a local superhero group. He later has a problem with staying with the rest though- his colleagues are creeped out by his mutating body, also he gets a bit of an addiction problem, that makes his (mostly white) partners put him on the side to not worsen their already bad PR, so he might go solo. I am not sure yet.

The Villain is the son of freed slaves, whose parents really fought for him to get him a chance of proper education. He got himself into a local university who allowed some black people to become a medic. During his education he was noticed for his surgeon skills by a doctor from France guesting in the US and he got himself sent to finish his graduation to Lausanne University. He shares his room with white guy who is gay and fells in love with him, but never speaks about his feelings, because homosexuality was perceived as mental illness, and he really wants to be a psychiatrist. After graduating he decides to stay in France and work under this doctor - sadly it turns out that he acts like the Villain owes him a favor for this, and therefore he has to work for him for lesser payment and his private research is regularly stolen. His main reason to stay is that “maybe it's bad but under Jim Crow it would be worse” and this situation remains to the start of WW2. During the war he joins the resistance, and later he becomes medic for the US troops. War throws him into hell, when the final point is learning about liberation of Auschwitz camp by soviets. He is broken by the amount of death around him, as he comes to the conclusion that human life, as it is, is worthless, as well as his medic job. So he decides to commit his life to find the way to achieve immortality for the human kind. Over the years he grows more ruthless and obsessed over his research, as he comes back to the US in the 50s, supposedly for a science symposium, but really to get himself a body of an ancient vampire that was discovered in the city where his past roommate lives, with some extra stealing funds for research and kidnaping people for experiments. At the finale he injects himself with the immortality serum, who turns him into a scary monster, and later immobilises him, as a fate worse than death. (he comes back tho)

The Neutral one is Jamaican man. He was raised during the birth of the rasta religion, but was always interested in wealthy whites going onto the island on summer vacation. He decides to move to the US after a girl he once met. After didnt finding her he is still too stubborn to come back and decides to get himself a high degree in zoology and/or pharmacy. After getting a degree he becomes an assistant in a local drug store. It turns out that the owner of this shop is selling drugs to the mafia. When the owner once decides to stop trade with them they kill him, and The Neutral One is immediately blamed. With a half-assed trial he is sentenced to prison, but his prison bus has an accident. Neutral One is nastly scarred as he is able to flee. Later he lives a hermit lifestyle in the abandoned parts of the city, accompanied only by animals and the local community of homeless people, who are treating him as their medic and protector (even sometimes they microinsult him, by calling him “Wizard” what he really hates, as he was working too hard for his knowledge to be dismissed as magic). He himself is sad, distant and emotionally closed, being completely disappointed by the “Babylon'' around him. Later natural catastrophe forces him to move from his comfort zone and find a new place for himself. Are there any things that make you go “yikes”? Is there something to change, develop, explain better? PS1. All those 3 characters have body-horror elements in them. I can explain it as almost ALL characters I redesigned for this AU have those mutation elements, of all genders and ethnicities. I just adore body horror.

PS2 Those characters in the current form of the story don't really interact with each other. While the Hero has other black people to interact with, both Villain and Neutral are alienated by design… and that makes them a bit “token”.

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milarvela · 3 years

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By his own admission, John Barrowman has always been notorious in showbusiness circles. 'I'm known for my jokes, my sense of fun, my high jinks,' he says.

But those 'high jinks' have come back to haunt him recently as a result of serious allegations against his former Doctor Who co-star Noel Clarke.

John's role as Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who began in 2005 and the character was given his own spin-off series, the far more adult Torchwood, a year later.

It launched a hugely successful career for John on both stage and screen, taking in leading roles in West End musicals, big-budget US TV shows such as superhero series Arrow, and homegrown light entertainment favourites like All Star Musicals and most recently Dancing On Ice, where he's one of the judges. He was by anyone's measure a family-friendly favourite.

Then a couple of months ago the sky fell in. Following accusations of sexual harassment against Noel Clarke, who played Mickey Smith – the boyfriend of Billie Piper's character Rose – in Doctor Who from 2005 until 2010, historic footage emerged on YouTube of a sci-fi convention, Chicago Tardis, in 2014, released by The Guardian newspaper which had investigated Clarke's behaviour on the Doctor Who set.

In an interview in front of a live audience, Clarke is seen regaling fellow cast members Annette Badland and Camille Coduri with tales of John's behaviour on the set of Doctor Who, exposing himself 'every five seconds'. Clarke then jokes with the audience not to do this at their workplace or they might go to prison.

The allegations levelled against Clarke are extremely serious. At least 20 women have come forward to accuse him of sexual harassment and bullying, 'inappropriate touching and groping' and secretly filming naked auditions before sharing the videos without consent.

He denies all the allegations, but BAFTA has since suspended the Outstanding Contribution award it bestowed on him just weeks earlier, and the BBC has shelved any future projects he was working on with them.

Now John's behaviour on the sets of both Doctor Who and Torchwood has come under scrutiny once again. The furore has led to a video of Captain Jack Harkness being expunged from the current immersive Doctor Who theatre show Time Fracture, a planned Torchwood audio production featuring John and former Doctor Who lead David Tennant being scrapped and doubt about whether he will be invited back to the Dancing On Ice panel.

ITV will announce the line-up for the next series in September. John immediately issued an apology following the emergence of the video back in May, but today he's decided to speak exclusively and candidly to Weekend to give his side of the story.

'The moment has come to set the record straight,' he says from the Palm Springs, California, home he shares with his husband Scott Gill. 'This is the first time – and the last – I will address this subject. And then I plan to draw a thick black line under it.'

Firstly he says it's important to set the scene. On the set of Torchwood, which followed a team of alien hunters and explored themes of sexuality and corruption, he had what might be called a 'relaxed' attitude to nudity, and would wander around in an open robe. But it's claimed that he was well known for flashing and mooning at cast and crew alike on both the Doctor Who and Torchwood sets.

As Captain Jack Harkness I was the star of Torchwood, so I felt it was down to me to lead the company and keep them entertained,' he explains. 'When I was doing a nude scene or a love scene it was clear in the script I'd be naked and everyone would have known about that at least 48 hours in advance. So I'd be waiting in my trailer wearing just a robe with a sock over my "parts". Then, if I were standing waiting to film a scene where I needed to be nude and someone came into view, I'd make a joke to put them and myself at ease. My actions were simply designed to defuse any potential awkwardness among the cast and crew.

'I've never been someone who's embarrassed about his body so it didn't bother me if anyone saw me naked,' he adds. 'The motivation for what I'd call my "tomfoolery" was to maintain a jokey atmosphere. There was absolutely nothing sexual about my actions and nor have I ever been accused of that.' Whether this sort of behaviour would defuse any awkwardness, or actually foster it, is debatable.

WHY I'VE GONE INTO THERAPY

This scandal has clearly not left John unscathed. 'It was upsetting my mental health,' he tells me. 'My husband Scott suggested I talk to somebody. I won't discuss what I've said in therapy sessions – that's a matter of doctor/patient confidentiality – but I don't mind admitting it's helped me a great deal.

'It's made me aware that despite how much cancel culture may talk about respecting people's mental health, too often they don't respect the mental health of the people they're trying to cancel. So I needed to understand what was happening, which is why I went to speak to somebody.'

Has he had more than one session? 'Yes. It's a conversation that's still going on,' he says with a wry laugh. 'Seriously, whatever the situation, if you feel you need to reach out to someone it's very important to keep talking.'

'If what happened had taken place in the changing rooms after a rugby match it would be regarded as no more than a prank,' he continues. 'On the other hand, it's never going to happen in an accountant's office or a supermarket. But my job is not a regular nine-to-five, we're a family working long hours and in close proximity to each other.' Again, one has to bear in mind that a rugby changing room would be an all-male environment. There were many women in the cast and crew of the TV shows.

'In the theatre quick costume changes happen in the wings all the time, with everyone stripping off to get into their new outfits in time for the next scene,' he says. 'Girls might be braless, boys only in jockstraps. That's just how it is and no one gives it a second thought. But I accept that my behaviour at the time could have caused offence.'

Although John's recollection is that no one complained at the time, and he says that no one has complained since, at one point he was called in for a private conversation with Julie Gardner, an executive producer on Doctor Who and Torchwood. She has confirmed to The Guardian that she did receive a complaint.

'My antics had come to her attention and she told me I should rein in my behaviour,' he recalls. 'In blunt terms, she had just two words of advice: "Grow up!" That struck a chord. I did as I was told and my behaviour changed overnight. I'd still be full of jokes and fun, but no more naked pranks. I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

When these rumours were swirling back in 2008, it's also said John exposed himself during a Radio 1 interview in which his behaviour was being discussed. He denies this today.

'I was being goaded by the presenters about my reported behaviour on the Doctor Who set. I went along with it but I didn't actually do anything inappropriate in the studio. What would have been the point, it was on the radio? Still, it created such a stir that the following day I decided to make a full public apology and get on with my life.'

And that might have been that, but for the accusations against Noel Clarke coming to light. 'It seems to me that I've become collateral damage to a much bigger story,' says John.

Given his and Clarke's high profiles and the severity of the allegations against Clarke, this is hardly surprising. Has he spoken to his former co-star since the balloon went up?

'I have not.' Does he plan to? 'I do not. But listen, I'm not trying to cast myself in the role of victim here.' That said, he clearly resents these stories re-emerging, although he has had messages of support.

'In fact many members of the cast and crew have been in touch since this latest storm blew up giving me their support,' he insists. 'I won't name them because I don't want anyone to find themselves in the firing line.'

However, Gareth David-Lloyd, who played bisexual Jack Harkness's lover Ianto Jones in Torchwood, has chosen to go public about working with John. 'In my experience John's behaviour on set was always meant to entertain, make people laugh and keep their spirits and energy high on what were sometimes very long working days,' he said.

'It may be because we were so close as a cast that professional lines were sometimes blurred in the excitement. I was too inexperienced to know any different but we were always laughing. The John I knew on set would never have behaved in a way he thought was affecting someone negatively. From what I know of him, that is not his nature. He was a whirlwind of positive energy, always very generous, kind and a wonderfully supportive lead actor.'

In the weeks following this new public scrutiny John has had time to reflect, and has come to the conclusion there are two issues. One is the aftermath of the #MeToo movement; the other is cancel culture.

'I'm a supporter of #MeToo because no person should ever feel that in order to succeed in their career they can be coerced into doing something sexual against their will.

'My problem with cancel culture, on the other hand, is that it can take the form of intolerance and prejudice. It's a culture with no shades of grey. There's no leeway for forgiveness or room for recognising any change in someone's behaviour. Cancel culture tends to talk at you or past you or through you, rather than listen to you. Dialogue is extremely rare.'

He sounds upset now. 'Look, I'm in a good place,' he insists. 'I've got a great husband, a great family, a great "fan family" around me. But I've found it difficult. And yes, some of the things that were being said have been hurtful.

'Scott and I would go to bed on a Saturday night dreading the stories in the Sunday papers. And then I'd wake up to lies. One newspaper printed as fact that I'd been dropped as a judge by Dancing On Ice. Well, apart from the fact that the new panel isn't decided until the autumn, no one from ITV had spoken to me or my agent about this latest upset.'

Ashley Banjo, leader of dance troupe Diversity and a fellow Dancing On Ice judge, has only worked with John for the past couple of years so did not know him during the time of the behaviour he's now being scrutinised for, but has publicly spoken out in support.

'I've told John I'd readily work with him again,' said Ashley. 'He's always fun on Dancing On Ice and he's been very respectful and considerate. I'd like to see him come back. The impression I get from this story is it's something small and historic, something blown out of proportion. What I'm not a supporter of in regard to cancel culture is when the speed of allegation is much faster than the speed of investigation. Before I make a judgment I want to see and understand the facts.'

There has been outrage on Twitter, with many users pointing out that John's 'tomfoolery' could be regarded as indecent exposure, and that the fact it happened among work colleagues is no excuse. 'You don't do that in work. You don't do it full stop. If you did it in the city centre you'd be arrested,' posted one user.

So does he regret the way he behaved? 'You can't wind the clock back,' he says.

'They were different times, which is why I wouldn't do now what I did then. I've acknowledged that by the way my behaviour has changed. The trouble is that certain cancel culture enthusiasts are not allowing me to acknowledge it. I've always believed that the reason I was put on this planet was to bring joy to people, make them laugh. How I do that has evolved over the years. I'm still using humour, just in a different way than might have been the case ten or 20 years ago.'

Now, he says, he wants to move on, both personally and professionally. Many years ago he bought a house for his parents down the street from where he lives with Scott.

'They're getting on now and I've been their primary carer throughout the pandemic, doing their shopping, getting their prescriptions from the pharmacy and so on. My mother broke her pelvis at one stage but she's on the mend now. I'm just thankful I can keep an eye on her and my father. I'm thankful too to the scientists for coming up with the means by which we can combat Covid via vaccinations, and the healthcare workers for administering them and looking after us so selflessly. We owe them a great debt of gratitude.'

What about professionally? 'Well, I'm at the early stages of putting together a show full of anecdotes and songs that will tour throughout the UK when restrictions are finally lifted. As far as I'm concerned, it's back to business as usual.'

But it remains to be seen later this year with the announcement of the line-up for Dancing On Ice whether John's career too might be put on ice.

***

I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

Well, to be blunt, he’s too old to be doing it anyway, people would just roll they eyes at a pathetic old lech instead of maybe giggling at a younger man’s adorable/innocent/whatever tomfoolery.

I think he should name them. Just for fun. Come on! Because I doubt there have been (m)any. If this story teaches anything, it’s that whatever you say/do can come back to haunt your celebrity status years later in most unexpected ways. Or maybe he was always the intended main course, Noel Clarke only the appetiser...

#John Barrowman #Doctor Who #Daily Mail #hmm #I wonder if Noel Clarke has been arrested already?#heh #funny how John's not actually talking about Doctor Who #it's all about Torchwood #and basically saying what everybody already knew #except adding some human touches #hubby and parents #and of course therapy #he should get in touch with Prince Harry #or Oprah #maybe both #lol

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Doctor Who Series 13: Jodie Whittaker Leaving Rumours, the Next Doctor, and the Future

https://ift.tt/2SweahO

Jodie Whittaker is fast approaching that three-season milestone at which most Doctors pull the inter-dimensional rip-cord and eject themselves from the TARDIS. Speculation has swirled around her, as it does for most Doctors, from the very start of her tenure, and now, more than ever, there’s the strong scent of Regeneration in the wind. So, will Whittaker leave at the close of series 13? And if so, will any of her companions remain to bridge the gap between eras? Might showrunner Chris Chibnall also hang up his sonic-shaped pen? The BBC is playing its cards characteristically close to its chest, so divining the answers to these questions is not unlike trying to unlock the mystery of the Doctor’s real name.

There was an ample reminder of the BBC’s zeal for secrecy when Who-newcomer and beloved Liverpudlian John Bishop – cast last year as companion Dan – was rebuked for revealing during an online Q&A that his character, too, would be Liverpudlian. If the BBC don’t want you to know that a Liverpudlian might be playing a Liverpudlian, then this is going to be a bumpy ride. But let’s strap in, brace for impact, and see what’s (or Who’s) out there…

Jodie Whittaker on leaving

Everyone has their favourite Doctors, and not-so favourite Doctors. Jodie Whittaker is not alone in having had love and scorn heaped upon her in equal measure, a phenomenon that has touched most actors to have taken on the role, with the possible exception of Tom Baker and David Tennant, who stand as almost deified in their respective eras.

It’s clear, though, that Jodie Whittaker has loved every moment of being the Doctor, and of being embraced by the show’s fandom, telling the Telegraph in November 2020: “If you bump into a Whovian, it genuinely makes both of your days. There’s something emotional, poetic and very humbling about being in the show, because you’re a little tiny jigsaw piece of something that is so precious to so many people.” It’s perhaps understandable, then, that her response to the speculation around her departure was to say: “To even question an end point would be too upsetting.”

Or, to parrot one of her predecessors: “I don’t want to go.”

Where’s the evidence?

Over the last eighteen months, rumours that Jodie Whittaker will be leaving after season 13 have been endlessly shared and repeated. These rumours were reported as fact by some media outlets earlier in the year, though the BBC has steadfastly refused either to confirm or deny them. It does, however, seem more likely than not that 13 will be 13’s last; a supposition based upon the ‘Who Rule of Three’ and the unignorable sound of drums gathering pitch and pace across the internet.

In the hunt for ‘evidence’, dead-ends and red-herrings abound. IMDb currently reveals no projects rumoured or in pre-production for Jodie Whittaker beyond her TARDIS tenure, but, then, actors keeping contractual secrets would be fools to release their schedules onto one of the most comprehensive entertainment databases ever to have existed. So no help there.

The Mirror newspaper recently reported that the front-cover of the 2022 Doctor Who annual would be Doctor-less for the first time in its 57-year-history. Could this be a clue? Not likely. The people at Penguin Random House – the annual’s publishers – made it clear that the thirteenth Doctor will feature heavily throughout the publication. So whether the new cover is simply a radical redesign, a yielding to the purchasing power of this era of the show’s vocal detractors; or a shrewd marketing move designed to have the product promoted for free in the press, it doesn’t actually tell us very much about the likelihood of the 13th Doctor’s exit.

Peter Capaldi’s Trouser Clue

We might, however, be looking for clues in all the wrong places. Peter Capaldi deduced that he’d be handing over the TARDIS keys to a woman a few days before the BBC officially broke the news to him: thanks to his tailor.

At a New York Comic Con panel in 2017, Capaldi told the audience: “I went into Paul Smiths, which is a very wonderful clothes shop in London where I buy my suits, and everybody knows me in there. And they said, ‘We just got a call,’ they said, ‘from the Doctor Who office saying, ‘Can we have a pair of [Peter’s] trousers, but with a waist size thirty?’ … And I thought, ‘Well, that can’t really be a man with a thirty-inch waist. That must be a lady then’.”

Staking out Jodie’s tailor probably won’t prove fruitful, though. Knowing the BBC, they’ve probably plugged that potential leak by sub-contracting Jodie’s wardrobe out to a mute grandma living alone in a fortress atop the Himalayas.

Doctor Who: the behind-the-scenes causes of regeneration

By Mark Harrison

Doctor Who: Which New Doctors Are Now Canon?

By Chris Farnell

Will the Doctor Regenerate in 2022?

Series 13 will consist of eight episodes, set to begin airing later this year. The Mirror reports that there will be two specials in 2022, although it isn’t clear whether these will be in addition to this year’s 8, or whether we’ll see a split of 6 episodes in 2021 with the 2 specials being held over for 2022. A special – Christmas Day, New Year’s Day or otherwise – has become the traditional arena for regeneration, so if Whittaker is leaving, it’s likely that her final scene will come at the end of that rumoured second special.

Many think that the greatest evidence for Whittaker remaining as the Doctor until at least 2023 is our proximity to Doctor Who‘s upcoming 60th anniversary. After all, it would seem a shame to bow out before a big milestone, and it could be daunting to saddle a new Doctor with spearheading such a significant celebration. Still, the timey-wimeyness of it all means that even should Whittaker leave in 2022 there’s no reason she couldn’t make an appearance in an anniversary episode, perhaps alongside a few other previous incarnations. And 2022 marks the 100th anniversary of the BBC itself, so it’s hard to imagine that the show won’t be doing something extra special to mark that, given that it owes its very existence and longevity to the broadcaster (Michael Grade notwithstanding). Whenever she leaves, 13 could easily have her cake and eat it.

Will Chris Chibnall leave after Series 13?

When Bradley Walsh and Tosin Cole left at the end of ‘Revolution of the Daleks‘, Mandip Gill’s Yaz stayed behind. Yaz has been one of the new era’s most underdeveloped characters, so it made sense that she would get her chance to shine and grow in a less crowded environment, sharing companion duties only with John Bishop’s newly teased Dan. But as her character and her story seems so intrinsically linked to the Doctor herself, with the promise of more in-depth exploration to come in series 13, when/if the Doctor leaves, will Yaz’s story also draw to a close? Will only Dan remain with a foot in two TARDISes? All speculation at this point, and it very much hinges on which direction the writers take Yaz in this next clutch of episodes.

Showrunner Chris Chibnall – a lifelong fan of the show and, prior to his appointment as big chief, a long-standing writer for both Doctor Who and Torchwood – has been at least as divisive a figure in Who fandom as 80s helmsman Jonathan Nathan-Turner. Rumours regarding his possible departure have circulated with just as much frequency as those surrounding Whittaker. When asked about series 13, Chris Chibnall told the Radio Times: “I do know I’m coming back for a third season. Yeah, absolutely.” Within those words, if you look hard enough, exists the implied absence of certainty around future seasons, but perhaps that’s getting rather too Da Vinci Code about the whole thing.

While the stewardships of previous showrunners Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat spanned two Doctors each, this doesn’t mean that Chris Chibnall is guaranteed a crack at the 14th Doctor. Should Chibnall leave after season 13, among the writing team perhaps only Pete McTighe – who wrote ‘Kerblam!‘ And co-wrote ‘Praxeus‘ – has the experience to take over as showrunner, given his stint over-seeing the award-winning Australian prison-drama Wentworth.

How might 13’s Regeneration Happen?

Each of the modern Doctors has met their end in the service of some great sacrifice, either to protect a companion or to save if not the universe then at least a world within it. It’s unlikely that 13’s exit will be any different. It’s simply a question of against whom or what she’ll be fighting when her time comes.

Though it may be too soon for the Master to be directly responsible for the undoing of yet another Doctor so soon after 12’s John-Simm-shaped downfall, it’s likely that the Master will at the very least influence the direction of 13’s regeneration. Sacha Dhawan has expressed enthusiasm at the idea of returning, though nothing, as you would expect, has yet been confirmed. Or denied.

The revelations in ‘The Timeless Children‘, controversial though they proved for some fans, are perhaps too epoch-shaking and era-defining not to play a part in 13’s swansong, and it may well be that the shadowy Division – the Time Lord’s very own version of Starfleet’s Section 31 – will be complicit in the Doctor’s fall.

Another question presents itself: now that the Doctor knows she has infinite regenerations, might it make her more reckless? Might she start to see her body more like an easily changeable suit than a thing of flesh and blood? Might she regenerate multiple times before becoming the 14th Doctor, a la The Curse of Fatal Death, and what on earth would we call the 14th Doctor – who wouldn’t really be the 14th Doctor at all – if that happened?

Who’s in the running for the next Doctor?

Many of the same actors tipped as possible replacements near the end of Capaldi’s run have reappeared in the Regeneration rumour mill, including firm favourites Michaela Coel, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Michael Sheen, David Harewood, Richard Ayoade and the indefatigable Kris Marshall. Joining them this time are Line of Duty alumni Kelly MacDonald and Vicky McClure, and It’s a Sin front-man Olly Alexander. It could be that one of them, or none of them get the call. The next Doctor could just as easily be Jo Martin’s fugitive Doctor, who’s been hiding in plain sight all along.

Really though, as with all things connected with the show at this stage of its cycle: Who knows?

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Doctor Who Series 13 will air on BBC One later this year.

The post Doctor Who Series 13: Jodie Whittaker Leaving Rumours, the Next Doctor, and the Future appeared first on Den of Geek.

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jinks050 · 4 years

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Ghost Analysis Time!

Hiya! I’ve been in the mood lately to do some in-depth analysis and headcanoning for some of the underrated/obscure ghosts from the Danny Phantom Series. I’ll try to post a new ghost once or twice a week if I don’t get too busy with school! So, let’s get started with one of my favorite ghosts (and possibly the most obscure out of them all), Bullet!

Possible Backstory/Death

My best theory for Bullet’s past life is him being part of the special op forces during the Vietnam War. Either as the leader or a member, his troop was notorious enough to be given the nickname, “The Piranhas”, with an insignia patch to match. However, The last mission he had ended in an ambush where he was shot multiple times in the chest. Despite receiving medical attention, Bullet still died a few days after the skirmish because of his wounds.

Appearance/Influences

As odd as Bullet’s design/attire may be, it helped me a lot with formulating the basis for his backstory. As I mentioned earlier, Bullet’s unit nickname is the main reason behind his fish-humanoid appearance. Their patch’s design being based off a black piranha, as Bullet’s fish features are almost equivalent to that species in particular with red eyes, gray body color, v-shaped tail; heck, even his teeth especially seal the deal with this comparison.

Now, his attire is the biggest connector to his military past/ranking, notably with the camouflage pants he wears. Despite their simplistic design, it can be assumed the pants’s pattern is similar to the “tigerstripe” pattern. A camo pattern that was used extensively by U.S special forces, the Navy SEALs and Green Berets, during the mid 1960s Vietnam War timeframe.

The rest of his uniform seems to have been discarded over the years. With the passing decades, Bullet probably wants to avoid any clues or relations to the military and his past. Also knowing the controversy of the Vietnam War and annoying questions other ghosts may ask about the uniform, that choice is totally understandable. Hence, why he wears the red cape and wristbands now. His piranha insignia patch, on the other hand, was the one thing he couldn’t part due to sentimental reasons. He keeps it in a special place inside his waist bag.

Now, about that weird line down the center of his chest/head. Originally, I believed it to be the surgery scar he got after the doctors finished removing the bullets from his chest. Possibly, a median sternotomy, if I wanted to be specific, as shown below with how it cuts down the center of the body.

Another theory can be that it’s his lateral line; a fish’s system of sense organs used for detecting movements, vibrations and pressure in the surrounding water.

Meaning, Bullet may have could possibly have a unique form of ghost sense as a result of that surgery scar fusing with his fish ectobiology over the years.

Now, The eye patch came after death. Before joining Walker, Bullet worked as a bounty hunter during his early ghost years. Quite a successful one too, capturing several big/dangerous bounties posted by the GZPD. Having a perfect track record, until he took on Wulf’s bounty. Needless to say, he certainly left a lasting impression on Bullet when he gouged his right eye out while escaping capture. Bullet has held a murderous grudge against Wulf since then and is quite evident by his actions in “Public Enemies.”

Motives/Obsession

His obsession likely relates to serving authority and peacekeeping. Walker being the only ghost we’ve seen who actively establishes these two things in the Ghost Zone; It would make sense Bullet would work for him. Though, whether Bullet is 100% accepting with how his boss’s rules of law work or are handled in the zone is unknown. But, being his second-in-command there has to be some mutual respect between them if Bullet was able to obtain that position. Walker would not trust just any outsider with this job, unless A) they were considered capable, B) had similar motives with him/GZPD and C) he could cooperate with them effectively in matters of business. Besides, I can imagine the alternative was less than favorable if Bullet did declined Walker’s offer to work for him at the beginning too.

Additional abilities/Hcs

His real name was Bruce Guiles. His old dog-tag necklace is able to connect him to that lost memory, but has no idea where it is since it never reformed with his original ghost attire decades ago.

If given an additional ghost ability, the Energy Strike attack would be fitting for Bullet. I can see him being the most proficient user in the show due to his combat experience. It also explains why he uses ectoweaponry as the trade-off to that power would be his ghost rays lack range and power. Also... possibly do a move similar to the sonic boom attack from Street Fighter. (What? You think I gave him the surname Guiles because it sounded close to gills... ok, I did but I had to share this idea too)

Being an ghost-animal hybrid, Bullet utilizes his animalistic traits while ghost hunting. Piranhas are well-known for their bite power, speed, advanced senses and ferocious nature activated with the scent of blood. Honestly, if he had more screen-time/better writers, Bullet could of been a really formidable enemy for Danny to go against in the show. Or even an ally who knows!

Best friends with Skulker; bonded over ghost hunting trips, sharing tactics and ideas for ghost hunting equipment. It’s because of their friendship and his abilities, that Skulker has the benefit of shortening his prison sentences if he helps the GZPD in capturing escaped inmates or criminals. I also wanna say Valerie to some extent, but I’m unsure if that would be likely.

That’s all for Bullet! Thanks so much for reading my analysis. Means a lot since it was a pain in the arse to make and post it. Aside from that, if you got any questions with any about Bullet’s analysis or suggestions on which ghost I should do next; please send me an ask or two. I’ll be more than happy to read them!

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp bullet #danny phantom bullet #dp walker #dp wulf #dp skulker #valerie gray #ghost analysis #danny phantom hcs #my posts #my hcs #if I got no suggestions then I'll do amorpho next #danny phantom walker #danny phantom headcanon

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sugar-petals · 5 years

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; sublime (m) ║ reader ✕ merman!jjk

↳ summary: only you can save him.

8k words | smut, action, fantasy

⚠️ angst, themes of persecution & violence, unprotected sex, graphic.

a/n | Needed to reupload, it’s been in an ask format. Second chapter included. request: “Would u be willing to do a merman jk x reader smut?” (rosewell-love)

There’s a dead body on your private beach.

Or so you think. You’ve spotted it going out for your early morning walk with a bottle of water and light trainers. Busan’s late summer has been merciful with the weather so far, so you wanted to tick your two-mile goal on the schedule again.

From afar you already knew that whatever laid there in the silt was nothing of the regular. The colors that struck you against the mellow rising sun seemed blueish, strangely vivid. If it was a water corpse, sure it could be decaying like this. You dare to tread closer, crossing into muddier seafloor now.

Normally, you preferred to stay where the sand was dry and solid to walk on. There is no foul smell as you approach, or scraps of cloth, anything like that. Just algae all around. A few feet away, you begin to understand: This is not a human body.

You’ve heard about sightings of stranded mermen in the news. Authorities were quick to dismiss rumors of violent interventions. They assured that the police would take care of the situation professionally without citizen being able to watch.

The senior locals thought of merpeople as threats or oddities of nature, too peculiar to interact with. There were stories about women who interacted closely getting abducted, bitten, or strangled to death by such creatures. It was treated like a myth while the tabloids and fisherman’s accounts said otherwise.

Mermen were usually described with distorted complexions, crooked bones, and blood-shot eyes. They stink abominably, one reporter said. The universal instruction by the mayor had been equally hideous: Kill, or run. The latter being less preferred because they had to be chased, exploited, and wiped out collectively when you read between the lines.

Last year, there had been gossip about a group of men - designated hunters - sawing off a living merman’s tail and selling it on the black market. Any chopped off hair would bring half a million, too. A million with the scalp attached. The mayor propagated the extermination of these “slimy beasts” when an issue surfaced, all while keeping a trophy fin in his living room, that you were sure of.

But the motionless boy right below you does not appear monstrous at all. His features are almost resemblant to what can be considered human despite that he came from the sea. The upper body, at least. Who knows what kind of world is out there. The contrived stories made you mad, they had been all lies.

Even if your trainers are now completely sunk in, you close the distance entirely.

You look at him with concern. Why is he here, like this, so close to the coast? Your eyes roam up and down, up and down. The cerulean little scales splattered all over his large tail, the sapphire beads around his neck, next to coral lobster claws.

His beauty erases everything in your mind. The teal and silver mane that falls in soft waves and purple braids. They are really, really long and gleaming with an enigma that you fail to grasp. How could anyone be cruel enough to maim him. Everything about this boy had to stay wherever it was.

You inspect his body closer to look for injuries, but there are none. He plainly seems drained, but impossibly beautiful at the same time. His chest is still moving, but both eyes remained closed. You don’t know if mermen can get unconscious.

Perhaps he is just asleep. So ethereal. It all proved the envious locals very dirty liars. They’re conspiring because they know very well how alluring they look like. Since only mermen have been spotted, all efforts to deter every woman in town from getting just one glimpse were rampant.

No human male could quite compare. Except maybe your gay friend and neighbor Taehyung who might just drop dead if he were here. If your female friends saw this boy, the ones who were married would file for divorce. The truly despicable vermin were the conservative men of this town.

Certainly, there are different rules of anatomy and physics that apply to mermen that nobody has ever talked about on shore. You only see that the gills at the sides of his torso flutter hectically. It takes some time until you put two and two together. The falling tide that’s now miles away, it must have left him here. Maybe he lost a sense of direction and got caught by surprise. What an odyssey.

He needs water, desperately. Of course he looks drained, and that’s more urgent than you assumed. You have to hurry up and do something not to see him fade away in front of your eyes. But, where to get it. It would have been straightforward if you hadn’t forgotten carrying a water bottle all along.

You’re hesitant to touch him, but eventually get yourself to rub the sides of his torso, pouring water bit by bit. His skin is so delicate that you don’t dare to apply pressure. His eyes flutter once, and you think he can see what you are doing.

But you did not bring enough water to sustain this moment. At least you know there’s still a chance.

There’s no other option, then. You sprint back to your house, pulse working overtime until you find the long-ignored supply closet key.

An old plastic cover splattered with color comes into sight. It has been formerly used by Taehyung who asked to depict the scenery at your beach. He’s a painter, but too much of a literal fine artist to leave anything sturdy at your house. You keep searching.

At the back, there’s a soiled, but still functional sailcloth with rope running through its eyelets. Hauling that to the beach would not be possible if you weren’t pumped with adrenaline and sheer panic. It has been a huge risk having him left alone out there. This all takes too damn long.

The relief finding him untouched gives you more assurance. The sail sticks to the ground in no time spreading it out next to him. An attempt to roll him onto there using a shove of two hands fails. Only a rope tied around his waist gives everything a decent impetus. Once he’s in place, you pull the canvas tight with the rope and start dragging. But oh my, is he heavy. It’s the colossal tail that probably weighs the most, gravity has no mercy on your arms today.

It takes a few painstaking feet until the cloth starts to run smoothly on the wet ground. Through the dewy lawn of your property, it works much better until your trainers go on a strike. Next time you’ll go to the beach with heavy boots. It’s better with bare feet then, though you encounter another problem. The grass isn’t particularly even, so you have to maneuver around a bump or two. The 10 x 20 feet swimming pool comes into sight quite tardily.

He slumps into the water with a dull splash. You made it by the skin of your teeth and everything hurts. It’s a miracle. The water is uncomfortably icy as you enter, grabbing hold of his shoulders. You have to remind yourself to be careful, washing away all remnants of sand and dirt. The filtration system will take care of it. Again you note how silky the texture of his skin and scales is, clearly not made for life ashore. Before the water starts to paralyze you more with its frostiness, you decide to submerge him completely at the bottom of the pool. Different laws of physics, you remind yourself. For a human, air would basically be like water for him. His own weight sustains him down there well as of now. Begrudgingly, you leave to change clothes.

It’s good that your backyard is surrounded by copious palisades. You do hope nobody observed anything, thinking you transported some carcass or worse, and check back just three minutes later. The garden gate is firmly locked already but doesn’t do much to pacify your feelings of imminent paranoia. So the balcony is a good place to stay where you can sit with your laptop to catch up with pressing work. Any concentration is still out the window though, and any noise snaps you out of typing in emails.

The pool water rouses after the nearby church bell strikes 11 am. You return to the gazebo next to the pool to look if you’re not hallucinating, met with huge, dark eyes. They’re Prussian blue and almost doe-like. He’s leaning at the edge, two arms propped up.

“Thank you, madam. You didn’t have to do this,” he dabbles quite gently, stirring the water with his tail to cause ripples. His voice is very pleasant and friendly, youthful. Never did you think he would be able to speak your language. Everything comes unexpected today.

“Nevermind,” you respond, trying not to show both incredulousness and unease. There is no way in making this sound like a proper conversation, but you try. He called you madam, after all.

”I came to pry for shells and lost my sense of time. It’s my bad.”

You squat down at the edge of the pool at some distance. This seems all too much at once. Yet you have to gather words to let him know.

“Don’t, don’t say that. I can’t let you die out there. To see you become food in a tin can if a hunter or the police come along.”

It strikes a chord with him, and you instantly regret saying it.

“I know who they are. Their prejudice has killed one of my brothers not long ago.” He’s downcast now, impossibly sad. You know who this brother was. A little glistening tear makes its way down his cheek, he picks it up with thumb and index finger. It has turned into a small pearl. “You’re not like them. I can be glad you picked me up without fear or reporting it.”

You enclose the shiny gift with two palms as he passes over the bead. When you tuck it away, it rests in the breast pocket of your blouse. The merman looks very relieved to see you accept it.

“It’s not over yet. But I guess I did the right things so far. You’re alive. I hope I can drag you back at high tide. Or do you need more time?”

“My body regenerated. But my mind, I feel very strange and dizzy, still. Tomorrow.”

“Shit… it’s the chlorine in the water. I don’t think that’s good for you.”

“Chlorine?”

You wonder why he speaks your language perfectly but doesn’t know this.

“To disinfect bacteria dangerous to humans. For you, it might just be nauseating. Maybe because you’re not used to it, or sensitive. Wait, I’ll use the pool filter. I have one.”

While you take care of the pump and also clean away some debris, the curious merman lingers closely.

“Did I tell you my name yet? I’m Jungkook. I have a question, actually. It might sound weird.”

You look up from your task. Jungkook. It’s fitting.

“Just go ahead. I’m Y/N.”

“Why do you have a pool next to the sea?”

He’s a bright guy. You understand where the query is coming from, too.

“I do love the sea like you. But the waves are too high. It’s dangerous to bathe there without a vigilant eye. You’ve seen what happened. I prefer to swim here, especially when it’s warmer.”

“Oh, I forgot,” he marvels at you, “humans can’t swim that well in the cold.”

“It’s true. We have trouble moving around mermen as well,” you chuckle, glad your work at the pump is completed. You stand up to return to Jungkook. His presence is soothing, almost familiar.

In that very moment, hasty knocks and rattles resound from the garden gate.

Jungkook immerses himself in water within a split second. He’s diving down faster than you can say anything, in fact. The pool’s surrounding bushes have saved you from being seen with him, thankfully, but your feeling tells you to hurry to the gate as soon as you can. But you have to stop yourself from being in a rush not to be suspicious. It’s painfully obvious who it is from a distance already. You’re in trouble.

It’s Taehyung.

“Oh hey, hey! I rang the doorbell — nobody responded. Figured you’re here! How ya doin’?”

A hurricane as usual. You keep the gate locked. He’s looking at you through the metal bars with inquisitive eyes.

“What do you want, Kim… I’m busy.”

“Sorry, just looking for my painting cover. Do you still have it? Am gone in a minute.”

“Sure.”

You spin around and race inside without further ado. Taehyung must think you have gone completely mad now, but knowing Jungkook is likely having a heart attack down there you would waste no second. You return breathless, red blotches all over the face. He rolls his eyes.

“Slow down, slow down, Noona. It’s Sunday. God, heterosexual people. Always caught in such a fuss.”

“They are. Now, here. Take it. Just, buzz off now, Kim. Got things to do.”

And again, you spin around on your heel and hear him trot away sulking, but clenching his long-lost cover tight. He said he’s gone in a minute, then he has to deal with it. You’ll have to come up with something very intricate to appease him next time when he mocks you for it. And you are sure he will, because Taehyung notices when something’s off. Telling him the truth would be like being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, he would just broadcast everything.

You dash back and lean over the pool for Jungkook to recognize you. But nothing moves. He’s right about staying where he is. If the police coerced you to be their decoy, luring him out, he’d be dead. Jungkook, that is indisputable to you, continues to prove being very sharp save being aware of tides. The media never talked about merpeople being this people-conscious and easily intimidated. They’re just drawing them as evil to get hunting permission. Vicious pigs.

You want to make them fall.

There’s something else that strikes you, watching for activity in the pool. There must be a way that merpeople gather excessive knowledge about humans. Or it might be a contact person. But you don’t want to know, it might be a way to trace them back. Such a secret must never be revealed, you know you’ll take all this to your grave to protect him. It would be good to tell your story to everyone so they would change their mind. But the police was hawk-eyed and knew how to press for information.

They’d be hellbent and relentless to slit his throat as soon as they could. Officials and hunters had methods to find him if it was not too far out in the ocean. Or they would just wait until he came back to you sooner or later. You are sure that he will. He’s feeling indebted. And attached. You’re too. You dread the day, and tomorrow’s goodbye if it actually comes.

You have to admit it: This propelled you into a gigantic mess. You already felt your heart burst when Taehyung knocked. You have to guard Jungkook from a greater fuck-up, come what may.

With the entire government of Busan or even Seoul against you when your secret ever goes public. Because they want to keep it on the low, too, and would stop at nothing. You did not go against the law but social customs and conservative morale, and those are by far more powerful.

You rip off your blouse and pants and toss them on the balcony. Your tank top is hardly suitable for the temperature, but the pool water is slightly warmer as you get in slowly. The chlorine has faded. The first good news for today.

Diving down, Jungkook appears curled up in the deepest, darkest corner, holding his hair together so it won’t float up and betray him. Most of the fright on his face dissolves when you give an intent thumbs up. These mermen understand so much about your culture. You cannot let go of this thought. How could he know?

Swimming closer, you seize him by the hands, nodding your head toward the surface. He pulls you up with ease, fast and agile. Emerging, you have to draw several breaths. He looks around frantically. You hope this didn’t traumatize him.

“It was my neighbour friend asking for art supplies. He left and didn’t see anything. Nobody else around. We’re good. Jungkook, it’s alright. It was just a friend.”

It’s Sunday, thankfully.

“I was so afraid… There was a vision, I was bleeding!”

“It’s okay now. There’s no blood. I protect you, nothing will happen.”

It’s of no use. He can’t stop looking around. Jungkook needs something to ground him.

A little kiss on the forehead.

It makes his cheeks turn cobalt blue. You feel how his tail sways back and forth a bit quicker. You part your legs wider so they won’t crush his fin in between.

“I will handle it. If I can pull you out of the mud, then I can subdue them when they ever show up. You just have to hide. Jungkook.”

It’s self-persuasion and hoping for a self-fulfilling prophecy. But you’re beaming at him, and his smile grows just as large.

“Y/N, you’re very strong. I wouldn’t know where I’d be without your help. You hardly knew me, just my kin.”

“So did you. But you didn’t freak out when you were awake.”

He nods emphatically.

“I felt your hands on my gills. It was very nice. Like waves. I knew you were benevolent, you resemble the sea when you move. No bad person does this. Can you… again? Only if you want, I—”

What he said stuns you for seconds. Your hands move to his upper body on autopilot.

“Like, like this?”

Jungkook sighs a mellowed yes when you start to stimulate his sides. His gills are much more relaxed than at the beach. After some strokes, you’re leaning in so much that his arms virtually just have to close an inch around you for an embrace.

He clings to you in a tight hug, your lips coming up to meet his. Whatever magic or trick he is using, they feel curiously sparkling and slightly saline after a while. It’s magnificent. Meanwhile, your breasts are squeezed flat against his chest, feeling how Jungkook’s heartbeat accelerates. Much like his fin that’s bringing more of his tail between your legs. You pull them upwards a bit, but inevitably he brushes against your pubes. You thought it would be awkward. But something about his body infatuates your skin like an ancient charm.

“Apologies Y/N, I didn’t mean to!”

“Don’t be sorry. Just, fuck… do it again. Feels awesome. You can be yourself with me.”

He understands, bringing his tail stark forward this time. Shit. Your clit says yes to that. So does your face judging by how he reacts, a lot keener than before.

“Jungkook, I have a weird question, too,” you brush back against him, “Is it possible, I mean. Can you penetrate me somehow, or…?”

He’s blushing a second time.

“I can peel the scales apart at the front.”

And he does it.

Oh wow.

He has the most gorgeous shaft you’ve ever seen. Clad in lustrous, thin scales sprouts forth a splendid length tinted in jade. It sojourns hard and upright, poking heavy at your clit and entrance only separated by your underwear.

“You can’t impregnate me, right?”

“I can’t. Human egg cells are too small and not receptive.”

That has you wondering, and quite amused how he said that. It means something big is coming. Sounds like fun.

“Can I ride you then?”

“You can do anything, really.”

It can’t get any hotter. Thankfully, you’re half undressed already. The panties you had left on soon float elsewhere just below the surface, and you’re shoving up the hem of your tank top. His chest feels ten times as invigorating when you’re naked against it. There’s hesitation when you reach for his cock. You don’t want to do anything wrong to hurt him. But Jungkook is encouraging the initiative. And the way he’s dipping at you flicks a plethora of switches. So it’s easy. You slip him in and start to move your hips. Soon you realize it’s a bit difficult to go down further.

“Can I use a spell? It helps.” he exhales. You knew it, he has those abilities.

“Mh, love to see it.”

There he goes. You catch Jungkook whispering a convoluted spell to himself before your walls pop open without further trial. He’s dipping in first, then going half the way already. That’s not normal at all. He knows what he’s doing, though. It’s so, so damn good.

Jungkook is completely ecstatic.

Your experience so far has been that sex in water generally… doesn’t go well. No lubrication, no fucking. But no, this has to be the best exception. The practically seamless scales, they’re really doing the trick. The plunge is slick and exciting, going in clean with every bounce. And there’s a quite a stunning lot to slide up and down on, that you get to welcome soon. He’s getting confident to echo the thrust with eyes fixated on yours.

“Give me more of that,” you insist, leaving both legs wrapped around his wavering tail. It’s almost too slippery to hold on to. But good to sink down smoothly while squeezing deeper inside. You’re pushed upwards the more he fucks into you. His tip is broad enough to anchor you, not letting you glide off easily. But you’re dangerous close to it. So you’re letting yourself drop down on him with more momentum which he has to cushion first, causing your belly to bulge out considerably. You’re obsessed.

“Lift my legs more, Jungkook!”

Like that, the insides of your thighs graze at his gills, abrasive and brisk. To your surprise, it eventuates in sharper thrusts going for your sweetest spots. The depth that he pursues now starts to stretch you hard and wide on the glossy scales. Jungkook keeps murmuring spells. If this goes on for any longer, that’s a cock riding that would send not only you but Taehyung and the entire neighborhood to the gates of heaven and higher.

You keep shoving him straight up to dent out your abdomen, and he’s making it so salacious with his little moans. When you’re grabbing for hold at his shoulders, Jungkook warns you about his precum. Indeed it’s not to underestimate when you feel it, making everything two times as sleek. You slump down completely now, surprised not to feel any trace of balls against your ass.

Different anatomy.

Normal men need cooling for their sperm outside of their body, otherwise they would not survive. Jungkook? He’s got something else going on. Busan’s sea is not notoriously warm.

“Intertwine your fingers in my hair, Y/N—”

“What? Can I really do that?”

It sounds like heresy to your ears.

“It’ll stimulate you, do it quickly,” he persists, and your fingers seek a place in his silky mane. And Christ, he’s right. There’s a rapid sedation of the anxious thoughts at the back of your mind. Instead, you’re feeling an immense euphoria descend from your spine down to your loins. Jungkook whimpers while you’re drilling him deeper with all your power. Slowly but surely, you lose yourself in his dazzling ocean hair. You’re so happy now. Nothing matters. Just you together within the blur of everything else.

Fuck society. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

Jungkook’s moans have grown incomprehensible. Both of your hands soak up more of the sky blue energy. And once you grab the strands tighter, an overwhelming current verberates in your back until you’re ready and cumming. The world is so elated, nothing can bring your hands away from his hair. It’s pushing you to the limit incessantly. Better than any drug trip, better than the feeling after you ran your second marathon. You’re climaxing so vigorously on him that twenty seconds in, something effervescent and tingly begins to pour into your womb like a bursting well. His unearthly groaning gives you an idea of how much it shatters and empties him. You get filled to the brim and it won’t stop. Of course, he’s significantly larger than the average human — much semen to store then, by your logic at least. You do get a glimpse of the proportions as Jungkook keeps cramming loads and loads past your cervix while your orgasm keeps electrifying even the last corner of your body.

The well won’t cease. He keeps moving until you’re entirely pumped full with an all creamy, tickling substance. You try to keep everything in not to leak it into the water. But it’s too much. With each of his last thrusts, the bulk of it just comes spilling out. A shimmering, dark cyan liquid rises to the surface in gradient plumes, mixed with streaks of your cum. It looks like fluid shapes of orchids showing as a supple iridescent foam.

And it turns golden.

The scent gives you a feeling of the hours after rain in spring. Jungkook picks up a decent bit of the foam with two fingers, slipping them into his mouth. He leans in to kiss you again as you reach the aftermath of your peak that threatens to leave you bland. But what happens now makes you tighten around his dick once again, seizing out more to splutter inside.

On your tongue unfold an explosion of jasmine blended with peppermint, thyme, fresh raspberries, wild honey, and even something like caramel. There was no way you would have been prepared for this. You had expected something like a sea breeze, but this beats all that you could imagine. Because beyond approximation, you can’t really describe what it is like.

You swallow fast and retreat one hand from his hair to pick up something yourself. This is the best thing you’ve ever tasted. It can’t be called an actual thing, in fact, it’s more than that. It has to be an artifact. A magic potion that you want to bottle up and drink all day, sweet and glowing.

It’s like alchemy.

And you’re so deliciously stuffed with that now.

Before you pull him out, all the negative pressure culminates. Then, the rest of his seed bubbles up placidly. The gaping feels like you just jammed a baseball bat inside of yourself, reckless abandon with a Himalaya of premium coke up your nose. Complete inebriation.

Water streams in and flushes out the final strands of cyan when his following spells seal you tight. Jungkook holds you firm until you detangle his hair with your remaining hand, then place it on his cheek. If there were mermaids out there, they’d be the luckiest women on the entire planet.

“Kook”, you whisper with an unwinding tremble, “you’re amazing.”

Anchoring an old khaki tent next to the pool takes some time, but you remember something about the manual. This goes here, that goes there, and this is how you zip up a sleeping bag. Jungkook giggles along. You can’t afford to sleep inside tonight. You only move your blouse to the safety of your wardrobe and get a snack, switch on the lights of the balcony to illuminate the garden for the rest of the evening. He’s singing for you.

The next day is grueling because you have to go to work. But before leaving, you relocate Jungkook to the bathtub as fast as possible, leaving him your phone with a short explanation so he can call you and vice versa. The anxiety comes back.

He gets lighthearted leisure magazines and books to spend the time, and devours them. History, art, fashion, beauty, celebrities, health, sports, food, philosophy, fantasy, comedy. He also asks for a globe and celestial map, saying his uncle vaguely told him about it. Maybe it’s good that he knows a bit more about the mainland when he returns. You don’t want to let him go with the same ideas he had before, give him a bit of faith in the good things you had here. The other side of the coin, even if it was just a glimpse of hope.

Though you didn’t expect him to return to your mansion in any way. Humanity is already terrifying enough. Especially after his loss. This should not happen again. You decide to leave him your trusted chef knife and a word of caution. He doesn’t know how to use it so you teach him the technique. He says he wouldn’t be any better than his attackers if there were some. You try to clarify that it’s the way humans act sometimes. Tit for tat. And he has all the right and responsibility to defend himself under threat, otherwise, he would never be able to see the stars again.

At 10 am you give him a short call. He’s fine, quite mesmerized how the phone works, and just a bit hungry. You decide not to spend lunchtime in the city, but speed your car to a local supermarket and deli, looking for seaweed. Returning home Jungkook is still in his place, having managed to drop Terry Pratchett and J. K. Rowling into the water. But all else is as before. In the afternoon, you call him twice. He talks about the invention of the lightbulb, pasta salad, Kant, and how nicely Tolkien writes about Hobbits. Work passes torturously slow, the keyboard in front of you blurs each time your mind drifts away. You go home early, leaving your subordinates Jimin and Seokjin a bit puzzled at a shallow excuse. If only they knew.

It’s way after dawn when you move him out of the bathroom. Jungkook gets the idea that you could just use a wheelbarrow this time, knowing you own one after having had enough hours to glance around your garden already. You fill a bit of water into it and pick boots with a sturdy profile. And it works, the leverage is much better on the arms. You arrive at the beach laughing and joking together how silly of a duo you must look like. Jungkook has already given his word to come back in two days around the same time.

The tide is close enough for you to take him to the water. He parts reluctantly with five, six, seven sublime kisses. You hope he wasn’t missed by his family. Busan’s nocturnal skyline radiates from afar when you watch him swim east ever so elegantly.

It’s hard to find any sleep later. Your arms still ache like hell from dragging him. And so many things are going through your head. You end up outside in the tent after taking a quick shower, pretending he’s still there. Jungkook has last started a chapter from the Chronicles of Narnia, and you put yourself in a tired daze finishing it. Work tomorrow is going to be so hard.

Jimin asks if you’re okay while he organizes some files, but doesn’t comment anything further. You resume typing with the feeling that you are now leading a double life. Taehyung’s words come back: Slow down, slow down. And you do. Wednesday you will see him at the bay, everything is alright. Who knows what you will do afterwards, how often you will meet. Maybe it’s good not to make him cross into dangerous territory regularly, or at least you should look for more hidden places. You’ll make it.

Two days after, you receive an early mail. You’re drowsy but startled, Taehyung and Jin haven’t sent anything for months. It has to be one of them.

It’s only a red envelope and some strangely filled paper bag. You peel open the red letter first.

It was made with a typewriter.

“A million and you get the fish back whole. He has a nice buzzcut already. Friday 1 pm, quay. Pull up with the money or you’ll see him on the news. Tell anybody and we will do the same to you.”

Below, the paper is embossed with a saw and hook symbol.

You drop the bag as soon as you open it.

There are hundreds of tiny pearls on the floor.

chapter two ║ i’m no angel (m)

↳ summary | who do you have to become to get him back?

⚠️ graphic violence, threat of drowning, car accident, aftermath of torture.

There’s an old cage.

Bars bent and crooked.

Not abandoned, just empty since this very day. You know he must have been inside, nothing else makes sense. The lingering smell around here, it belongs to him. The air is spiked with thyme, the scent of grass after it rained. It’s familiar. It’s so painful. You go on searching every corner of the hangar in a fever. It looks like a warehouse from the inside, stuffed with tools and other miscellaneous equipment.

Some wood, nails. Discarded tires. You’ve seen some of them on the SUV you followed to Busan city limits. You try to memorize the letters and numbers on them. AZ1-5986. Whatever that means. It could be of help later since you don’t know the SUV’s license plate.

As you remember that it’d be straightforward to just photograph the tires with your phone, a faint knocking sets your world on fire. It keeps repeating, they are fast and erratic knocks. Not mechanical ones. Not calm ones.

You hurry into the direction where you suspect they are coming from. There’s no doubt in your mind that you should not go. It’s the only sign of life, or whatever it is in this building. Somewhere, somewhere at the back behind two parked up seaplanes, timeworn and half deconstructed, there you locate it. A moss-covered fish tank is jammed between a humongous workbench and a freezer. A tail rests and winds grazing tight against the glass inside. Oh my god.

Yes, it’s him. You unbolt the lid, bring it down crashing on the freezer. Jungkook spins around inside the tank until his face comes to the surface. Pale grey eyes. Charcoal hair, cropped short. Pursed lips and a tapered chin. An Ingenue look. He’s agitated.

“I’ve heard you calling for him, you’re the one Jungkook’s talked about!”

No. It’s not Jungkook. Not his voice, not his face. Too lean, not sturdy at all. It’s definitely not him. His scent is much different, too. Sweet chestnuts, basil. It’s not familiar.

“Who are you, where is he?”

“Yoongi,” the merman blinks, “I’m his friend. They got us both at once at the beach.”

That’s what you feared. Jungkook’s friends and family getting dragged into this. You wish you had just sent him out as far away as possible where the hunters wouldn’t get him.

“I’m his—”

You don’t know what you are to him. A girlfriend? Hardly. An affair? More than that. It sounds weird anyway. Affairs are not that serious.

“He loves you.”

There it is. Jungkook told him. Lovers might be what describes you best.

“Where is he?”

“They’ve taken him to another place from here this morning. This is just the decoy. They told you to follow the car and fetch him here after paying.”

“They did. And now?”

“These are not the headquarters,” Yoongi props himself up at the edge of the tank. “The shipyard is. You have to go there!”

Of course. This hangar is as good as useless for a permanent stay. It’s just for the dirty work.

“And what happens with you? I won’t leave you here like that. But I can’t transport you in my car, there’s nothing like this tank.”

“It takes half an hour until I can’t go without any water. If you drop me at the sea it’s fine.”

“So I can take you with me?”

“I’ll be grateful forever. Jungkook didn’t lie about how you treat us.”

You steer your car into the hangar backwards, get out again with the engine on, rip the trunk open. The size has to be enough.

The high walls of the fish tank don’t permit you to lift Yoongi out of it. He tries to push himself up with the help of his fin several times, but he’s too large, the glass to slippery, and the tank too narrow. As a last resort, you grab a sledgehammer from the workbench to impact and shatter the glass. The handle is long, maybe 17 or 18 inches, allowing you to step back and lunge quite far. The glass doesn’t break right away. You are not used to wielding something like this. It takes three more strikes until you demolish the front wall. You have to be careful not to hit where Yoongi’s tail squeezes against the glass.

The gush of water Yoongi pushes you back, everything goes into splinters with fragments of glass bursting to the sides, then floating everywhere on the ground. Yoongi cuts himself several times at the arms and lower back before you can pick him up. His chest is flat and cold against yours, his body heavy and close to glide far from your grasp. Less so than Jungkook, but still it feels like the weight is tearing off your arms. His skin is like you’re touching soap.

There’s no sailing cloth or Taehyung’s art supplies this time. You try to heave him up as much as possible so his fin won’t touch the ground, glass cracking under your boots until you reach the car. Yoongi howls with pain when you try to tuck him in. His wounds scratch hard at the trunk’s plastic inlet. You show him how to open and close the tailgate from the inside, then shut it and set off.

It takes ten minutes to the bay.

The boatyard towers over the cranes and docks of the harbor. You speed in order to drive around. And there it is. AZ1-5986. They didn’t park the car inside, no. It stands blazen at the rear entrance. And they met you at 1 PM in the middle of the day. You’ve been tricked by absolute amateurs.

Or not.

There’s a scream coming from the inside. Sharp, heartbreaking.

No time to bring Yoongi to the sea.

You seize the sledgehammer from the passenger seat. And go.

You recognize them at one glance. It’s the small man and red-head woman you saw driving the SUV, the woman being the one you gave the ransom to. She gave cold instructions. The man is currently wearing large gloves, dripping with water. To your surprise, they seem to be alone. The vast silence of the dockyard seems too large to house them here. The woman sneers at you, patting the front of her black leather jacket.

“Your envelope’s still right here, Miss.”

“It will be here soon,” you point towards your own jeans pocket at the front.

She only tugs at her necklace in return. It’s made of colorful hair. Gold, turquoise. Teal and silver. You realized something. Only one thing drives them: cash. And since the government still wants the monopoly in the equation, that will be their eternal aim. Hunters are only tolerated for doing the messy jobs. The profiteer is elsewhere. And with the sums that they trade the mermen, your ransom money is only a temporary achievement, gone tomorrow. It’s not what Jungkook is worth to you anyways. Money can’t measure Jungkook. If only you could hold him.

What your instinct tells you at the sight of the hair is: Killing. No matter if it would alert authorities sooner or later, or bring a gang to your garden. But Jungkook’s words are still at the back of your mind. You don’t know if you’d be ready to be just as bad as they are. Maybe you’re no angel in all of this. You’ve infringed on the circle of life the minute you decided to pour water on Jungkook’s body at the beach. But there’s no way back. You have to be as bad, even worse. For him.

Because there he lies, in a giant tank with another merman with orange tail and skin. It’s close enough to see what’s inside. Pearls are piling up at the ground, and well from his eyes when they lock on you. His hair looks auburn, the long vivid strands are gone. They picked a lot of scales off his tail, too, leaving bloody spots. All the jewelry is nowhere to be seen. Instead, a heavy chain is wound secure around him several times, weighing his body to the ground. The other merman doesn’t have a chain. His scales and hair are removed entirely. They sawed one of his arms off, too. If you can judge by his face, the decaying process has already started. He’s been here for longer.

Your anger is boiling up. The woman’s shallow smile pushes you over the edge at last. She pulls out a soiled drop point knife. You hate her so much. This place has to be wiped out. Erased, cauterized. The entire gang if you have to. You charge gripping the hammer at the top with the right hand, at the bottom with your heft. Before you reach her, the man is wrapping his hands around your neck from behind, pulling you back from her.

One foot, two feet, three. You can’t breathe, panic. The feeling of his gloves is terrifying on your skin, in your mind. But the thought of Jungkook burns inside. Again you focus all energy in your arms. Finally. He takes your elbow to the stomach, cries out, and topples down. Before the man catches himself, you follow your impulse. It’s good that he dragged you away. This is the only chance. You withdraw your right hand from the handle and take a long swing back with all the might in your left arm. You hurl the hammer forward and send it flying towards her legs. The spin knocks her over right away. This tree got cut down. If you could, you’d make wood briquettes. But not now.

He’s coming at you again. Now that she’s unconscious, your job is easy even if your hammer is gone. Men have more frontal weak spots to hit.

He has his gloved fists up. Going towards you slowly. First he tries to suffocate you, now he’s playing fair, doesn’t he. You’ll floor him faster than her. Suits him, he’s the minion. The prick probably sawed apart Jungkook’s brother.

You wait until he comes close enough, put your fists up in return. Shit, shit, shit. Your arms hurt so much. You play the game despite the ache, dancing from foot to foot as he comes in. Then boot nasty fucker in the groin aimed from below, explosive and direct. He stumbles backward with a yell, falling agonized and twitching. You dive after him, leg extended to land a second kick under his chin. His head snaps back. That beats him senseless for once.

But you worry about Yoongi. The trunk. He’s still in there. Since twenty minutes or more. And even if he knows how to get out of there, it’s of no use. He can’t go anywhere. This has to be fast. At the other end of the scene, you pull the envelope from the woman’s jacket, along with a metal key and her necklace. She doesn’t deserve it.

You hurry to Jungkook, hammer all too heavy in your hands again. At one point, your arms are going to fall off your torso. But now you know better. You dash the tank to pieces in one final hurl towards the right spot, entirely graceless but effective. The water swipes you off your feet in a large outpour. Exhaustion is coming.

The splinters are much larger this time and the float glass appears to almost detonate under the pressure released. Jungkook is too heavy to get carried off by the surge. He lands just feet away next to you crying, repeating your name until you manage to stand up leaving the hammer behind.

“I missed you, Jungkook, what—”

“You, you came,” he winces, “are you fine?”

“Don’t ask about me,” you fumble at the lock of his chain, “we’ll get this off, talk is for later.”

“It hurts.”

He’s looking at you from dulled eyes. They might have put him into water, but the life is still drained out of him. You don’t want to imagine what happened. They bound the chain around him so tight that it left purple traces. After it’s off, you already know what to do with it. Jungkook picks an orange scale from his dead friend in the debris, whispering a last goodbye.

The thirty minutes are long over. The trunk is closed when you come out of the backdoor with Jungkook.

You open to a smiling Yoongi the second he sees you and Jungkook in your arms.

“Yoongi, you okay? Left you waiting.”

“Sure, but you?” he ruffles his hair a bit. You blink twice, seeing that it has grown a bit longer and darker since you saw it in the hangar. You noticed that with Jungkook as well, but didn’t put two and two together, or actually believed your own eyes. It must be magic at work. Or different physics.

At a second glance, there’s a decent layer of water in the trunk.

“Yes, they’re in chains. Where does the water come from?”

“You had several bottles of sparkling water in the corner. I like how it tingles, we don’t have that out there. My wounds... it seems they regenerate.”

Of course! The water. You bought it when getting groceries for Jungkook.

“And what do we do with the two?”

“We could take them out with us. But they’re affiliates, they all know about each other.”

“I’ll decide later by myself,” you guide Jungkook onto the rear bench seat. “We need to go...”

You kickstart the car, turn to head for the one-way lane to the docks. As close as your car permits, you maneuver toward the edge where water towers high. The tide is in favor. But there’s commotion at the end of the street where you came from. It’s a truck.

“Hurry!” Jungkook cries, “That’s the rest of them!”

You can’t drive away with them now. If you’re able to drop both off, then you’re already lucky. You drive closer to the water, preparing to unlock the car with your electric key so Yoongi gets the sign to open the trunk. But you soon feel that the car gets out of balance. You look into the rear-view mirror, estimating how much you could still drive backward, or forward. But it’s futile.

The weight in the back drags the car over the edge. You’re screaming. Jungkook tries to counterbalance. The car tips over anyways. It enters the water.

The door won’t open. Water keeps rising. The signal of the keys won’t unlock the car no matter how many times you press the button. Jungkook can’t manage to open the doors either, his strength has faded. The water level has almost reached the ceiling when he stops trying. You’re so far down and out of air, even if you managed to escape now diving upward would make you run out of air already. Maybe a few seconds left and you can say goodbye to this life. You can’t tell Jungkook how much you love him. It’s all too late. Everything, absolutely everything went wrong. Only failure remains. Fucked up from start to finish. Four lives ruined, two dead. You feel a thumping at the back of your head.

Jungkook intertwines his fingers with your hair from behind, whispering something between bubbles before you can’t hear anymore. An immense heat glues your legs together in an instant, melting the fabric of your jeans. A rousing bolt darts through your scalp, your feet stop moving. It feels like your body is bloating everywhere, soaking up water. Webbing springs forth between your fingers, fiery scales around your hips. Your hair starts growing out scarlet and thick, curling large before your eyes. The sides of your upper body start to open up wide, then close again. A burst of air expands in your lungs.

Now you know why Jungkook knew so much about civilized life.

Merpeople used to be human.

⁕ sequel: dauntless (m) | m.list in bio

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miloscat · 4 years

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[Review] Final Fantasy Dimensions II (iOS)

So, I played all the Chrono series games... oh, there’s another one? Sort of?

It’s unfortunate that Square has let the series languish. Masato Kato, a key dev in the first two games, has continued the series recently in Another Eden, but after Cross there were plans for a third instalment, Chrono Break, which fell through. Takashi Tokita, one of the co-directors of Trigger, led this game, repurposing some elements of the Break premise for the opening. Otherwise the game takes a lot of cues from Trigger with its time travel to different eras to avert a disaster. Also Magus is pretty much just here in this game, under a different name! So that’s fun.

Dimensions II was launched as a free-to-play game full of timed events, premium currencies, and gacha mechanics. Luckily for everyone it was soon completely reworked, relaunched, and localised as a standalone experience that you can just buy and play through. Narratively and mechanically it has nothing to do with Dimensions 1 by the way, that seems to just be a way of branding certain mobile spinoff games. While 1 had direct control and seemed fiddly to navigate (having been originally designed for feature phones), 2 is more tuned for a touchscreen, like Brave Exvius or Record Keeper were: very menu-driven, fast-paced, and accessible with bite-sized content chunks. Yummy.

My first impressions were that I’d seen it all before. The story retreads Trigger, the characters were all tired tropes. But as I kept playing it sucked me in, the characters got a chance to become deeper as the game gave them time and interactions, especially with the optional light-hearted side events. There were twists and revelations. The plot did start to drag towards the end of the main campaign, and the epilogue arc was stacked with hours of talky cutscenes and very few fights (apparently nothing having been learned from the ponderous backloaded plot dumps of Chrono Cross and Xenogears). By the end I had a positive feeling about the whole thing, it’s just paced inconsistently.

Much like Another Eden, it helps that the main character Morrow is not silent but gets to have a personality. And that you can freely swap your battle party out at any time, and cutscenes just have everyone (or the relevant members) present. This time around the game revolves around the main mechanic of signets, which work a bit like magicite in FF6. They’re character-specific and teach new spells when equipped to one of their four slots, as well as potentially granting passive bonuses and governing which summons you have access to. The baby dragon character Mootie is also a fun addition, a bonus semi-party member like the capsule monsters in Lufia 2, who can be equipped with any signet.

Since I came in expecting a Chrono game, I found the heavy use of Final Fantasy elements, themes, and references distracting. You’ve got crystals, Chaos, all the enemies come from FF, spell names, Moogles, elves and dwarfs, etc. But that’s just the identity of the game. Now I consider it a mashup and came to appreciate all the callbacks to the first four FFs, including lots of name reuse. The idea of Mysidia as a Zeal-type kingdom but actually utopic, yet doomed, was pretty cool.

And speaking of that, it works well as a Chrono Tigger-esque time travel story, but with all the FF trappings and cosmology. The consequences of time travel are dealt with, attention given to how each era is changed geographically and politically by actions in the previous ones, as well as some characters’ personal reactions to the changing world. Magus—uh, that is, Sorgue—is a particular highlight: he’s immortal and pops up in each era, and you see him mellowing through his interactions with the party and the world’s situation, going through an outright villain redemption arc. It’s nice stuff!

So Dimensions II could use some tightening up around the gills, but I liked a lot of stuff they were doing here. Building up your characters is satisfying and straightforward. The game’s well suited to mobile play in its controls and structure. I’m glad it’s a complete game without the pressure to constantly spend more. I do keep wondering what it would have been like if they’d gone through with making it a full Chrono game... oh well. As a crossover, it’s a fun novelty.

#final fantasy #Chrono Trigger #final fantasy dimensions ii #matrix software #review

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myrainydayloves · 5 years

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On The Idea of Farms and Family

In which I post the longest fic I’ve ever written. It’s long ya’ll.

In which the gang visits old friends and are forced to help out with the up coming harvest. Featuring: family drama, a taste of angst, hurt and comfort, and more honey than most people could handle. Also featuring @blackquills-wife and her husband Klaus.

Rated T because swearing

The excitement was keeping her up. Tossing and turning as if to warm up for the long day of play tomorrow. Their family and friends were all coming to help harvest honey and fruit and vegetables then sitting down for a feast of fresh cooked food. Zed had been watching her prepare for weeks, making gallons of ice cream, ordering an entire cow from the butcher, setting aside the best ingredients, picking the most beautiful flowers, and cleaning endlessly.

All with the widest smile on her face.

Zed could still see the smile even under the bags under her eyes. And now she turned to him and blushed.

“Have I been keeping you awake? I’m so sorry!” She whispered over the sound of crickets and rustling trees.

“No, no, Annaka.” He said her name with such reverence, like just letting the syllables out would cause the mountains to move and the sky to break out in rain. “I was just thinking about how I don’t deserve you.”

And he didn’t, or so he thought. He wasn’t human like the rest of them. Zed couldn’t even help on the massive garden they planted for too long without becoming dehydrated and needing a shower. A real human could have tilled along side her, wiping the mud from her cheek-

“Not this again,” she groaned. “Zed, My Prince, I don’t deserve you! You’re the most wonderful person alive! Literally in the whole world! I adore you.”

“Ah But-“

Annaka silenced him with a kiss. “Please. You are my true love. If it’s your personality? You are my match in both art and books, outwitting me without demeaning me. You create comparisons I could never think of. I’m in awe of your brain. And of how you selflessly help others! I fell in love with you all over again when you just donated all your treasured books to the library after it burnt down. No thoughts. Just gave them to the town. And don’t get me started on your looks…”

A single finger traced down his chest and if he was able to get goosebumps, he would have them by now. She let her fingertips roll over his chest, tracing every scar with the wonder of someone discovering stars for the first time. The scent of honeysuckle blossoms from her conditioner filled his lungs as her hair curtained around them when she leaned in for another kiss.

“Annaka…”

As they laid quietly, pondering their love, Zed slowly moved into kiss her when-

“HEY YOU’D BETTER NOT BE DEEP SEA DIVING IN THERE!!”

A Zapp of electricity killed the mood.

“Son of a bitch……” she cursed. “You know what? Fuck it, let him hear. I want you-“

“I KNOW YOU’RE AWAKE, ANNAKA!!” Zapp cried again from outside their front gate, banging on the wood.

“Fucking asshole, WHY ARE YOU HERE!!! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!”

“YOU FREAKIN INGRATE!!! KLAUS FIGURED YOU WOULD WANT US HERE WHILE THE BEES WERE ASLEEP!!”

“BEES DON’T SLEEP, ASSHAT-you know what? I’m just gonna frickin’ kill him. I’m just gonna chop his head off and use it for fertilizer. I’m just gonna-“

Annaka continued to whisper the other gruesome ways she planned on murdering her brother as she put on her robe. Even when she slammed the door to their room closed and walked towards the front gate, Zed could hear them screaming at each other.

Family, huh? Were all families like this?

God he certainly hoped not.

—

Annaka flung open the front gate, nearly smacking her brother in the face with it as it swung out. The Libra team stood happily, but sleepily, in front of her with Klaus already in his beesuit.

After momentarily wondering where he could have found one that fit his colossal frame, Annaka turned to glare at her brother. All the excitement and joy she had been holding to see him vanished and she was right back to wondering how satisfying it would be to make him eat dirt.

“Sorry to get here so early,” Mary apologized. “I hope we didn’t wake you up too bad.”

Zapp scoffed. “Oh she was up. And so was fishcake, showing her all the ways it can bend-OW!”

With a soft shimmer, Chain appeared on top of Zapp’s head, still in her jammies. Over the chorus of pained cries from her brother, she asked. “Do you have coffee?”

“Seconded,” Stephan grumbling, still wearing a suit despite the farmwork to come.

“I’m sure Zed’s already got a pot going. Where’s Leo?”

“Still asleep in the back,” Mary said with a small smile. “He was navigating for us up until about an hour ago when he passed out.”

“Poor thing,” Annaka cooed. “I hope he didn’t wear himself out too bad.”

“He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping, reminds me of my boys,” KK cooed, heaving the sleeping boy over her shoulder like he was a naughty fat cat.

After a few more greetings, Annaka guided them through the walled front yard. It was done in an almost perfect replica of Master’s old training ground. Everything from the rocks to the meticulously maintained meditation spiral. Zed often trained on rainy days or when there wasn’t much farming to do. Just the memories of watching his smooth graceful movements brought the smile back to her face.

“This is lovely,” Mary cooed, taken with the koi pond. “Oh my! These koi patterns are beautiful!”

“Thank you, Zed likes to care for them. And they adore him.”

“Glad to see they can recognize family,” Zapp scoffed.

Annaka punched him in the gut so hard that he fell to the ground looking for air. All without moving a single hair out of place. She smiled brightly.

“How do you like that, bro? He’s been teaching me some moves.”

“Hate it, thanks,” he groaned from his human puddle on the ground.

The group stepped over him and they entered the home. It was a relatively small living space. There were only a few rooms: a dining or maybe living area, the door to the main bedroom, and the tank room. They passed through the living space, stopping to set the exhausted Leo on the couch to sleep, and into the garden.

What Annaka liked to call her Garden of Eden.

Flowers bloomed from very vine, fruit swung heavy from trees, vegetables seemed to pop out of the ground to say hello. A stone fountain stood off to the side, water trickling over rocks and down into a stream the feed into the garden.

“Ah that’s the irrigation system!” Annaka exclaimed. “We pumped it from a near by river and then let it fall over the Stone Mountain to aerate it, and then it flows to specific parts of the garden from the bowl here! Zed designed it! Isn’t it beautiful! Oh...the afternoons I spend in the hammock, listening to the water splash over the rocks...My Prince…”

“You’re still so cute, Anna,” Mary cooed.

The girls held hands and gazed into the night sky together.

“Oh Mary, oh KK! I understand how wonderful it is to be married!”

“Yes yes! My Klaus and I are just as happy as you two! Oh joy-“

“Why the frick are we here if this is the whole garden.”

And all the joy was Zapped out of the air again.

Annaka broke from Mary and turned to him. “This is just my private Garden of Eden. Our real farm is acres big.”

“Ah! You’re here! Zapp, the wood got wet from last night, will you come light it?”

They turned to see Zed poking his head out of the window of an extremely small cottage. Annaka quickly explained that because they burn things like cornstalks and wheat stalks, things tend to get pretty smokey so they built the rooms housing the kitchen and subsequently the heater outside.

“Course they got wet from your gills touchin’ em, Ariel!” Zapp spat, making his way to the kitchen without complaint.

She continued to lead the rest of them on a tour, showing them the outdoor shower, her lovingly carved wooden platewear, her huge marble bathtub, and finally the tank room

Their bedroom was plain save the aquarium tank in the middle, except for, of course, the depictions Of Annaka in so many mediums. An oil painting of her artfully sleeping on the bed, a photo of her playing in the tulips, poems framed and hung on walls, sketches of her working in the yard. It was a shrine to her as much as it was also a bedroom.

“Oh my, this feels…” Stephan stopped himself before he said, ‘fucking weird’.

Mary finished his sentence. “So very intimate.” She said this over the sound of KK silently weeping and taking photos to send back to her husband.

“Ah, Yeah,” Annaka responded, trying to shove them out the door while protecting the blush on her cheeks. “He’s certainly added more since I was last in here….”

By then, Zed was calling them back for coffee served with the hint sunrise. Annaka pushed past Zapp into the kitchen to quickly throw together a decent breakfast, ordering the boys to go set the table under in the gazebo.

—

“Zed! How are you?” Mary cried when she saw him, wrapping him in a hug.

“Happy, I would say,” he answered, setting plates on the table. “Very happy.”

Stephan couldn’t help a playful, “Yeah, we saw your art room.”

“And it was great! Your dedication to your young wife! Your adoration of her!” KK pressed her hands to her cheeks. “I’ve never seen anything like it! You’re so deeply in love.”

“Ewww gross, you like my siste-“

THUMP.

Zapp clutched the back of his head and cried, “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME FROM THE KITCHEN! THE MASTER SHOULD HAVE TRAINED YOU FOR THE FRICKING ALLSTARS!!”

“COME HELP ME CARRY THESE DISHES, YOU AWFUL WORM!”

“I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!! GET YOUR OWN-OW!!!! THAT’S IT!!! I’M ABOUT TO COME GIVE YOU A NOOGIE LIKE YOU’D NEVER BELIEVE!”

“AFTER YOU HELP ME CARRY BREAKFAST!!”

“F I N E!!”

Zapp trudged off to help with breakfast instead of continuing to insult Zed, who sat down at the newly set table.

Klaus leaned in, still in full bee suit and asked, “So when are we going to get the honey? We should get it before the bees wake up, correct? We don’t want to disturb them.”

“Honey, they don’t sleep,” Mary cooed, petting him. “Don’t worry, the bees are excited to meet you too.”

“What is on the docket though? Assuming it’s not just twelve straight, uninterrupted hours of Annaka and Zapp screaming at each other,” Stephan asked.

“I think it’s sweet, in a family way,” Gilbert said, sipping the coffee from his mug and finding that it tasted distinctly of chocolate and cinnamon.

Chain huffed. “I do need my hearing to work, you know.”

Klaus smiled quietly, pulling Mary a bit closer. “My siblings and I never really fought. It’s nice to see how a normal family gets along.”

“Nothing about the Renfro’s is normal,” Stephan mocked in good fun.

“Here, here,” everyone cheered, clinking coffee mugs with a laugh.

The siblings in question returned holding breakfast, setting plates upon plates of home friends potatoes that smelled like garlic and spices, thick slabs of pepper crusted bacon, farm fresh eggs still sizzling on a large pan, and loafs upon loafs of bread. (I know it’s loaves but loafs is more pleasing to the mouth) All served with fresh butter and cherry jam.

Without so much as a “Thanks for the food” the table descended on the breakfast like ravenous wolves. But the sound of silence is the highest compliment you can pay to food, sans pointing at things with your fork and going “mmm!!!”

Annaka kissed Zed when she sat down next to him and fixed him a plate like she’s done every day since they moved here. Without fail, she got up and cooked him a little something, even if it was just roasting some bread, before going back to bed.

His heart soared when she drank the coffee he poured for her and she hummed, shoulders dropping and back relaxing.

“Tastes goood buuuut-“ his heart plummeted until she stole his mug and took a big gulp. “That one tastes better.”

KK screamed with delight as he blushed. With that, the table broke into conversation about the harvest, about work, about life in general as the sun lazily crept up the side of the sky. Soon, the farm cats and dogs arose to work: scared off pests and chasing chickens out into the field before coming to beg for scraps at the table.

All to soon, breakfast was over and the day was set to start. Annaka commanded them like soldiers off to cut down men instead of fruit. She, Klaus, and Mary were on honey duties. Chain and Stephan on fetching fresh water and mushrooms from the forest(she added a small wink at Chain). KK and Gilbert on fruit trees. And finally Zapp and Zed vegetables.

“Why are you giving me the dirty work?” Zapp complained.

“With your abilities, you’ll be able to harvest the veggies in no time. And take extreme care not to hurt my melons! There are a lot this year and if we harvest them all now, we’ll be eating melon for every meal for a week.”

“K, I heard the first time you old hag.”

“Shut up and go pick my veggies.”

—

To say Klaus was buzzing with excitement was an understatement. He was floating off the ground as Annaka suited up and suited Mary up.

“You look like the cutest marshmallow,” He cooed.

“Awww and you look like a big white polar bear!”

Mary had been listening to Klaus talk about bees for a solid month and she loved her husband. But she was ready for a different topic. Despite this, she was practically drunk off his happiness. Fluttering around him like a worker bee did flowers.

“Okay, let’s go get some frames, boys,” Annaka said, slamming the door to her workshop shut. Despite the door being closed she could still smell the uncapped gasoline and paint Annaka kept in there. Family tradition, she insisted.

Mary questioned why Annaka was dragging such a huge wagon behind them until the hives came into view. There must have been two dozen hives, all four frames tall, standing in the field.

After motioning them over, Annaka pried the box lid off and a swarm of bees greeted them. Worker bees buzzed around them for a bit before recognizing Klaus and Mary’s non threatening auras and settling into the box.

“Now, we’re gonna take the top two boxes of each frame. Bottom two are for the babies and where the drones sex up the Queen. Oh-look! Her highness came to say hello!”

A bee the size of Mary’s thumb buzzed up to gently bonk Klaus and Mary’s hats as if to knight them before returning to her chambers.

“Better back off my Klaus,” Mary jokes.

Klaus turned to her. “I understand you’re joking but I want you to know that despite my excitement for the bees, you are equally if not more important to me right now. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They shared a romantic gaze over the soundtrack of Annaka heaving and groaning over the weight of the supers.

“It’s like 30 pounds a super!” Annaka cried.

Klaus hugged Mary. “You are my beautiful wife.”

“Oof! These boys are thicc with honey!”

“And you my beautiful husband,” Mary whispered back.

“Fucking! Sticky and heavy! What a combo!” She heaved, setting the first super in the box.

The shlop sound of the sticky honey hitting the metal wagon was enough to jar them out of their love. Soon the work began, filling the wagon with four dozen 25 pound supers all filled with honey.

“And here’s why I need Klaus. This wagon is now nearly 15 hundred pounds. Can you move it for me?”

Like he was pushing a feather, Klaus began to tug the wagon to the shop.

Mary nearly choked on the smell of the workshop again, all deadly fumes pouring into her nose. Luckily, Annaka quickly dragged the extractor out to them and set up rather quickly, blissfully closing the door to what would knock out a normal person.

“Okay so we put the frames in the extractor like thiiis. Then you close it. And you spin it,” Annaka taught to Klaus.

“Ah, for how long?”

“Eight to ten minutes for each side. So twenty minutes total.”

The couple stood shocked as she continued to spin it. Despite the agonizingly long time they had spinning that thing to look forward to, Annaka was still smiling.

Must be the paint fumes, Mary mused silently.

———

“Another break, Flounder?” Zapp asked, pulling up another arm full of carrots. “Why the fuck are there so many carrots?”

“Lots...of people...who juice,” Zed explained pouring water over his drying skin. “Ahh.”

Zapp stabbed his shovel into the earth, a satisfying thunk mixed with pebbles crushed. His designer jacket wrapped around his waist as he glared at Zed. It was like a cheetah who’s spotted a bird just close enough to take a swipe at.

“We’re not gonna get anything done with you gasping like a fish on land. Did you really make my little sister do this all by herself, blowfish?”

A stabbed remark that hit so close to Zed’s heart, he felt it break.

“I-“

Zapp crosses his arms. “Because if I find out my sister was slaving away in this heat while you played Southern Belle on the porch all day, I’m gonna be seriously pissed.”

“My skin gets dry. I-I over-heat because I don’t sweat. She agrees-“

“So you did huh? You just wanted to mooch of my sister’s hard work?”

Zed’s head sunk. He wished he could drown in the shame but...gills. For the life of him, he could not fight Zapp on this. A difficult silence fell between them.

If only Annaka was here to explain. Or was he relying on her too much? Maybe he was a burden to her. Just a freak show she had to love because she was afraid no one else would love her. Was he taking advantage of her?

He stood up quickly. “I need to go sleep.”

“Sure, sure,” Zapp said flippantly. “Useless crustacean.”

The tank room was a safe place for him. A place he could still be surrounded by his wife but also be alone to think and meditate.

Zapp was good at getting under people’s skin. A talent Annaka shared but tried desperately to keep under control. Two siblings alike in more ways than one, he sighed.

Just as he settled in to sleep, the door opened again, revealing a very sleepy Leo rubbing his eyes. “How long was I out? Is there still coffee?”

“Ah, yes. You can reheat it in the microwave, our stove is rather difficult to use for first timers.”

“Cool.” The door closed halfway before it opened again. “Wait, why are you in here?”

Because Zapp hurt my feelings-

“Just grabbing some air...well water.”

“Okay! I’ll catch you outside!”

“Ah Wait! Leo…” Zapp looked down at the lights on his tank. “Do you think...Annaka...that I’m good enough for her?”

A snort. “Of course, dude. She loves you like...so much. Even when you two were back at the office, she totally loved you. Don’t worry about it.”

“....thank you.”

“Course man.”

———————

Hours later, and I do mean hours, the honey was collected in a couple hundred or so jars. Annaka smiled at Mary, who wanted her arms to fall over, and Klaus, who also wanted his arms to fall off but was more than willing to catch Mary’s arms as well. In a box, she selected a few dozen jars and motioned for them to follow her back up the hill.

“You guys did great for your first time! I won’t make you deal with the beeswax cleaning,” Annaka chirped. “And you’re welcome to take home as many jars as you want!”

Klaus’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Mhm! They make great gifts! I’ll even give you some of the tiny leftover bottles from the wedding!”

“Thank you!”

“Of course! I’m just glad we got all the supers back on! You both looked be-“

“HEY!! WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD!!”

“IT’S ON THE DOOR!!”

“THANKS.”

Annaka turned back with a small sigh. “Anyways! I just wanted-“

“YEAH ANNAKA, LEO’S HUNGRY!”

The was a barely audible, “I didn’t say that!”

“And off we go to make lunch,” she muttered. “Sorry, Klaus will you carry these jars up for me? I’ll run ahead and get dinner started.”

Without waiting to hear his response, she dumped the box full of jars of honey into his weeping arms. It was like she just placed the world in his aching arms and he was barely able to keep from collapsing out of exhaustion. He stared blankly at the hill in front of him as Annaka scrambled up it.

She walked into the kitchen to start the fire and found a Leo already trying to light the cornstalks. “Ahh, thank you, Leo. What would you like for lunch?”

To answer her, his stomach growled like tiger, shaking both of them. Annaka nodded with a soft ‘I see’ and shooed him to wash up as Zapp had undoubtedly thrown mud at him while they pulled up veggies. Suspiciously missing though, was her husband.

Another growl for Leo’s stomach heard across the yard made it clear the matter could wait.

Quickly, she whipped up some simple burgers with a side salad and potatoes wedges and carried them out to the gazebo where her brother sat looking through her vines of flowers and out into the valley.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked.

He didn’t turn to look at her. “Yeah…”

“Hey Big Bro?”

“Yeah, Zipp?”

Clicking her tongue at her embarrassing childhood nickname but letting the matter drop, Annaka said, “Thanks for coming. It really means a lot to see you here.”

Leo sat at the table and practically swallowed a burger whole, which somehow did not break the moment. After chugging down the fresh juice Annaka squeezed, he said, “He’s been working hard all month-“

“Can it, pubes,” Zapp snapped, glaring at him.

Leo only smiled back. “What don’t want your sister to find out you trained all those newbies to watch the city just so you could be here? You should have seen him! We hit a new record, only three deaths this month thanks to this gu-“

“I said, can it!” He stuffed a burger into the younger boy’s mouth before slowly making his own burger. Zapp ignored the happy eyes Annaka was giving him in favor of artfully making a mess.

“Zapp…”

“Annaka.” The use of her name brought her to full attention as he began looking out into the valley again. “Are you happy here? The middle of nowhere, hard physical labor, and fish brains? Mom and Dad said they’d be happy to have you back home and Master said he could use an extra hand with the new-“

“I would not trade this for anything,” she whispered. “With all due respect to Master and with a due swear words and insults to mom and dad. I am...so...so happy here.”

“But it’s hard!” Zapp snapped, losing all the teasing that usually kept him distant from others. Slamming his fist on the table, he cried. “It’s hard right?! You work your ass off and what can Zed even do around here? You always work so hard and make me look bad! And you found someone who actually loves you verse-“

He closed his mouth and twenty some odd years of emotional distress poured onto the table like spilled fresh squeezed juice. Jealousy was a rotten thing that spoiled all the fruit and vegetables. It crept into a person and decomposed someone from the inside out.

“Oh!!! Is that Klaus I hear calling me!?” Leo asked as he stuffed burgers into his arms. “Bye!!”

A few moments passed before Annaka spoke, “Remember when we were kids and one of the caster kids tried to bury me alive at some conference. I bled out so much but I couldn’t get the boulders off me. Then, you came and rescued me, took me to the hospital, and then put that kid in the hospital bed next to me?”

“Heh, yeah. Fuck that kid,” Zapp said.

“That night his dad came to visit us in the hospital. He gave me a bunch of flowers then pulled the curtain around that kid. I..” Annaka looked down. “He hurt his son. Broke a bone, I think.”

“Always knew that guy was bad news,” Zapp mused.

She laughed, wine chimes rustled in the breeze, and she said, “That’s when I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to keep them safe-“

“Yeah, I know. You’re moral and upstanding, I should be more like you-“

“Wait,” she said and the pond stilled at her words. Her brother looked up, all the same mess of white hair and stupid face he’d always had and she smiled at him.

“You help people too, Zapp. We’re alike in more ways than one.”

“No, I don’t...I ruin everything. Ask anyone. You come and you clean up my messes and everyone loves you.”

“That’s because people can’t see past arbitrary values of morality. You sleep around and you drink and you smoke so you must be a bad person. I donate time and money to people so I must be a good person. Neither is true. Those who know you, who really know you, know that you are a kind person at heart. They know you struggle with vulnerability and are willing and able to understand you through your actions.”

She beamed at him. “Everyone loves you, Zapp. And how could they not?”

For the first time in a long time, Zapp felt tears running down his face. Honest tears of relief and of understanding fell from his eyes. His sister crossed the table and hugged him.

“You’re the best big brother anyone could ask for, Zapp.”

And then he wept.

—————

Zed didn’t fall asleep. He floated there for hours, watching the water pump onto the small fountain in his room. Next to it was a small piece of marble he’d been carving to go on top for a while. It was going to Annaka, skirt all flared out and happy as the water shot up around her like the did in the city.

He sighed and stared up at the ceiling again. Maybe a bit of training would help? Just to be angry?

But he hadn’t felt anger at anyone since he moved here. Anger at things sure. Bees that stung me, fruit trees that dropped fruit on his head, and animals he caught eating their plants but not people. Not Annaka.

Not even Zapp.

His door opened to reveal the man in question still smirking like he hadn’t been crying his eyes out. “Hey, sea urchin.”

“Hello, Zapp.”

The other man pulled a chair up to the tank and stared at the painting and poems and drawings of Annaka that covered the walls. Zed’s stomach churned in fear when he was finally looked at but Zapp only sighed.

“It has come to my attention,” he said dramatically. “That I might have been too hard on you.”

“Is that an apology?”

“No, god no, of course not,” Zapp scoffed. “But...looking at all these...uhh...all this Annaka stuff...you still don’t think you’re good enough for her?”

Zed paused before sighing again. “No.”

“Well, man up and start thinking you do. Even if you have to fake it, she choose you and you’re stuck with her now.”

With that, Zapp set the chair back and waved to him over his shoulder.

“...I thought you hated me..”

“Nah...I...you’re good by me.”

“Well you certainly don’t act like it,” Zed pouted.

Zapp laughed and leaned against the door. “So?”

“I would like your approval to be with your sister. You’re Real approval without Annaka holding a gun to your head.”

They both shivered remembering how that day went.

“Look dude, am I the one married to you? Do I suck your dick at night?”

“Vulgar.”

“But if you need my approval to sleep at night,” Zapp sighed, lighting a cigar and taking a long breath. After exhaling, he said, “Yeah you got it.”

They stayed like that for a second, Zed drying himself off and Zapp smoking under the watchful frozen eyes of many Annakas. Together they walked back out into the garden where all their friends laughing and talking with Annaka, surrounded by flowers and good food.

She smiled at them, pushing at each other still, and said, “Hey.”

#lonely hearts #shake your debasement #writings

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mauriooo · 4 years

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Tell us your OCs. I. Have. Intrigue

oh okay um-

first off here’s a link to the masterlist

second a quick explanation of all my non-fandom ocs’ universes i guess? putting them under a cut cos they are LONG… sorry if you just wanted a brief summary of the characters themselves i just saw an opportunity to info dump about all the worldbuilding i’ve done and i took it

the universe with all of the animal ocs (Skye-Inklii on the masterlist) is definitely my most worked-on universe to date cos of all the semi-connected stories in it, the complexity of the world, and the pantheon i’ve kind of come up with? basically it takes place on a continent that has yet to be named but it’s a big place in the middle of an ocean called the Sparkling Sea. the continent is divided into multiple “Kingdoms,” all surrounding the Royal City (where the most important families live) in the middle of the continent. these kingdoms include the Ocean Kingdom (basically a huge gulf connected to the Sparking Sea filled with water-dwelling people, who aren’t mermaids but do have gills and stuff along with the general frame of land-dwellers) and the Smoldering Kingdom (formerly a prosperous matriarchy that was a hotspot (hah) for trading, next to a volcano. almost completely desolated by a conflict commonly known as the Brushfire War, with Ka being the only survivor. residents here were often confused for actual fires from afar, considering their particular subspecies often had small flames all over their body, which could not be snuffed out.). the Royal City is surrounded by an area known as the Outskirts (working name), where people like Skye, Pine, and Lavender who didn’t really have any particular elemental traits of any kind or came from a different kingdom lived. this area is known for having a bustling market and a diverse populace, unlike the other kingdoms whose residents almost always look similar. also there’s a royal family in the Royal City that rule most of the continent (each Kingdom has their own government but really the royal family is up top). the royal family has a royal scientist (undertale influenced a bunch of this ok), currently Hawthorn, previously his father Bramble. Bramble did a bunch of bad stuff so I’m not gonna dwell on him. garbageboy stinkman belongs in the toilet

the universe with Hazel and the ghosties is a universe where basically it’s almost the same as real life but magic, ghosts, demons, and angels exist and it’s not as technologically advanced (phones exist but color tv does not and people don’t rely as much on technology) Hazel and Michael/Virus both have some angel and some demon blood, Michael having more demon than angel and Hazel with vice versa, both having wings of some sort due to this. both their parents are basically human but their descendants (from a time where demons and angels were free to walk the earth) had children with demons/angels and some of those traits got passed down. it’s very rare to pass down traits from one of these entities (about 1 in 1,000 for just one) but Ezekiel/Chance got very lucky and got a little of both, compared to his siblings Cassidy/Jinx and Lisa/Boo who got nothing (but after becoming ghosts Jinx did get some demon traits and Boo got some angel traits). not all ghosts are friendly so those with an affinity for locating the undead are hired to exorcise houses and whatnot, called “ghosters.” Michael was one of the more famous ghosters and so he’s commonly called upon to help in areas, so he and Hazel traveled a lot. i should also mention that with certain rituals one can summon a ghost to help with something (finances, love, etc.) but it’s very hard to pull off (to stabilize a ghost and keep it from returning to the afterlife you have to make a very special necklace from specific gemstones depending on the ghost, and one for yourself to make sure the ghost can’t hurt you and it has to obey your orders (although you can free it to do what it wishes if you want)) anyways there’s a really dangerous demon that broke free from a seal placed on it hundreds of years ago commonly referred to as the Stalker, the Nothing, and things like that. Michael unknowingly accepted a job to rid an abandoned house in a quaint little town of this thing, and brought Hazel with him. it uh… didn’t go well :D this thing HATES angels cos a half-angel sealed it away so it attempted to kill Hazel because she bears a strong resemblance to the being that sealed it away. Michael didn’t like that so he barely managed to seal it away for a few more years but got like,,, a LOT of vital organs ripped out in the process. this, understandably, traumatized Hazel cos that was her last living family member being ripped to shreds in front of her so she went back to the town where she, first, scared 99% of the population cos she was DRENCHED in blood but then she got cleaned up and sent to a nearby orphanage where she was immediately adopted by a p mean family cos they thought she could summon a ghost to make them rich? she ended up summoning Virus (who didn’t recognize her cos ghosts lose most of their memories except for their moment of death, Chance is an exception), and then Jinx, Chance, and Boo all at once cos they died within a few minutes of each other. this took a hard right into backstory territory so imma move on

Gardenia and Ashe live in a world where, rarely, children will be born with their souls basically attuned to an element of nature (often with different subclasses) or creature. these phenomenons are called elementals and mutants, respectively. even rarer, however, is a child being born as both. Gardenia was born without eyes, with the left side of her face being just smooth where her eye should be and the right having a, well, gardenia growing in the place of an eye. also when she bleeds small flowers grow in the wound, which was assumed to be a sort of defense mechanism to plug the wound. because of these, when she was born, she was designated a plant elemental of the flower subclass. ashe was born part-fire elemental, part-salamander mutant. they both ended up at a school specifically for elementals and mutants where they could learn not to destroy things, which is where these two met in about 7th grade? they stayed friends since then and eventually fell in love (even if Gardenia couldn’t see Ashe, she loved her personality and her voice). probably the only universe with no murder so far

Meredy and Connor are robotic entities known as “mechae,” Meredy being made to entertain while Connor was made to fix. these entities were mass-produced to help humans in a futuristic society. they are made with 6 chips: Empathy, Ethics, Functionality, Memory, Intelligence, and Personality. if one of these chips break the entire mecha basically breaks and has to be recalled. Nikki is just a reclusive mechanic who works with Connor because xe saved him from being scrapped after faulty wiring and a broken Functionality chip were discovered upon his activation, causing him to frequently experience small shocks that either overload his system and shut him down or just make him unable to move for a few minutes. Nikki is trying to fix him up but for now just hides him from the public because xe doesn’t want him to be taken away from xir. Meredy is just a broken entertainment mecha whose Functionality and Ethics chip went haywire during a performance, causing uh... not great things? no one died but they got p injured cos metal is heavy and she ran away, eventually getting to Nikki’s shop after they met in a back alley while Meredy was hiding and Nikki was fishing for parts. that’s basically all i have for now

oh christ where do i start with the zodiacs. okay lady fate got sick of having to look after EVERYONE after they died so she basically chose 15 random people (1 for each zodiac sign except for Gemini and Pisces, who got 2) and made it so when they die (mostly by unfortunate circumstances) they go to a special place in the afterlife where every dead person is called their Dominion (i. e. Aquarius Dominion, Taurus Dominion, etc.), and every person in this world goes to the Dominion corresponding to their zodiac sign where the corresponding Zodiac... doesn’t exactly rule over them but controls the Dominion in a way? they basically get to decide what everything looks like and stuff and they get to live in a big ol mansion with everything they could ever need. all of the Dominions are spread in a circle around a central area known as the Hub where people from different signs can intermingle. the entire area has this neat little feature where once you die and get there, any physical ailments are gone. couldn’t walk while you were alive? well now you can! missing one or more limbs? you can choose to get cool substitute limbs made of sparkling ether that function like normal limbs! were you experiencing gender dysphoria in life? your new body fits your preferred gender! finally, you get a necklace or other piece of jewelry that designates your sign so people can tell what you are! i haven’t worked on this world as much cos i didn’t have too many ideas at first but i really like it :o

Endris and Kyu are demons under service of the Demon King. Endris is a demon species known as a Kahre, a genetically engineered soldier race, but his test tube broke and it was too dangerous to put him in a new one so he’s just smol and ended up as a personal servant to the king. Kyu is a Senru, a general/advisor race, who’s like... a giant suck-up. he mostly refers to Endris as “defect” unless he’s saying that Kyu needs to go speak with the king for a bit because then he’s all sunshine and rainbows. there are also the Erina, small scientists and doctors, and Wisps, tiny lil servants that are often formed when a new soul enters the Underworld. i really liked designing all the demons for this universe and i’m prolly gonna make more uwu

Carrie and Zade just live in a normal world? like they could totally be real people in real life and their stories wouldn’t change. Zade, who is Carrie’s best friend since they were toddlers, is a trans guy, so he was having all sorts of anxiety when he had to explain to her why he would rather not be called the name she’s been referring to him as for 10 years. she was definitely fine with it though. as long as he’s happy, she’s happy! but Zade started transitioning in like 8th grade so most other people weren’t as nice cos middle school sucks, and Carrie was basically his only friend for a while. Carrie eventually figured out (mistakenly, i might add) that she was the reason Zade was getting bullied so she assumed that if she was gone he would be happier and have more friends so uh... she did a self oof? her assumption was wrong, obviously. but people did leave him alone for a while to let him grieve.

sorry for the dark turn at the end? but yeah that’s a basic explanation of most of my original universes \ ( -ワ- ) / if you have any questions feel free to ask! also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if i’m being offensive in any way in any of these??? i really don’t want to offend anyone but i’m an idiot so yeah i probably screwed up a lot

#mauri speaks #mauri answers #floralianspiderboynova #ocs #my ocs #mauris ocs #came up with a lot of this on the spot :D #didn't want to disappoint #but also did want to eventually come up with location names #this took a really long time i hope you're happy #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #tw implied suicide #tw implied transphobia

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twitchesandstitches · 5 years

Text

Hyper Brain Jane Growth Comm

Commission fic roughly set in the Labbound AU by me and Alt-Hammer, but non-canon to that AU.

Contains hyper growth typical of my work, but is mainly focused around hyper brain/head expansion.

-----

It had been many years on Earth, since the Lalonde family had made the mysterious discoveries of cloning and other technologies. Along with the other three great families, the secrets of gene splicing and the beginning of modding: self-controlled evolution and altering the body, and with it, the birth of the troll species, and others to come.

But in those days, the legality of their existence had been a serious conflict, and that was always on the minds of some of those, like Meenah the Elder, and her heiress.

“Fer frick’s sake, girl,” the husky and incredibly resonant voice from the speaker said, making little metal fixtures in the walls rattle. “Sit up and quiet hiding when you talk. You’re my heiress. You should be making people quiver and cower when you sit up!”

“They do, ma’am, really!”

A snort. “Trying ta avoid yer tits knocking ‘em down doesn’t count.”

The voice, for its vulgarity, was a beautiful voice. The kind that hotwired your brain and hit the ‘YES MA’AM’ buttons. A primordial voice of authority, one suited to an ancient warlord or a modern corporate officer; someone of a less charitable mindset might ask if there was genuinely a difference between the two: same amount of ruthlessness, and while the carnage was less physical, it was no less obvious.

Jane Egbert - though she took the surname Crocker as pat of the legal technicalities to be the heiress to Meenah the Elder, troll celebrity, top CEO and firm fighter on behalf of trolls and all the other sapients to come from Lalonde Labs - did not feel she had the same effect, even when she was easily the most physically intimidating human in history, if you discounted fertility statues that had quite a strong resemblance to her. She was aware of the fact that she was an ultra-curvy giant of a woman, nearly as much troll as human from all the genetic treatments and even the human percentage was balanced with more cerebral-enhancing cybernetics than anyone else on record. Beneficiary of fertility on par with a troll and the enhancements to breast size and milk production that came with it, and quite a few visible signs of trollish traits, as though she were transforming into one.

It was quite a sight to see a woman more than eight feet tall, with hips even wider than that and breasts quite visibly requiring special bras to absorb the excess milk she was producing, looking mortified. She was so big that any normal human could be driven to stunned meekness by the sheer scale of her; a Polynesian woman, she had grown to immense size from all the breast enhancement, muscle reinforcing, fertility amplifying, and general boost treatments known to the public at large, and quite a few that weren’t. Girthy, a bit chubby, she had the motherly look of someone fully prepared to gestate dozens of children in a single sitting, even if she had never actually had any. Her proportions were massive, on par with trolls; breasts as large as beach balls scaled up to her size and weighing several hundred pounds each, a mammoth backside that required several chairs each… she looked exactly like the model superwoman of the modern age, and had featured in the Crocker Corp’s posters. ‘Take our stuff’, they seemed to say, ‘and you can be gorgeous like her!’

That was before the… other treatments. The ones designed to make a perfect heiress out of her, and more akin to the woman who had adopted her, with all the strengths thereof. She didn’t have human ears, but smaller versions of the colorful frond-like displays that grew from sea dwelling trolls, and feathery gills grew along her throat and the sides of her body. She couldn’t wear gloves, not with those heavy claws and webbed fingers (perfect for swimming), and long, powerful fangs shone in her mouth. Even her eyes, bright blue, had a hint of trollish slit pupils. To say nothing of the small but functional pair of wings flapping from her back!

From the speaker, a kind of two-way phone made popular by the corporation that Jane was poised to take over some day, there came a sigh. On the other end of it, somewhere on the other side of the world, Meenah Peixes the Elder was rolling her eyes. “Try to at least look cool in front of the workforce while you hold the fort down, okay? Ya wanna be taken seriously, try not to blush at everything.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jane said.

There was a pause. “...Just ma’am?”

“Yes, Condesce?” Jane tried again, using the nickname that the elder Peixes’ batch friends had coined in their youth. The Signless, the Dolorosa, and the rest; they had become troll celebrities and unintentionally set the stage for their growing people’s culture to take titles as a form of self-identity.

There was a longer pause. And then a more heartfelt sigh. “You CAN call me Meenah. Y’know. Or mother. Or… look, you don’t work for me, okay? I ain’t yer boss.”

Jane wiggled uncomfortably, causing something small and metal to glint in her cleavage. “...Yes, ma’am,” she said, looking at the ground, or at least her cleavage. It was too big to actually see any floor. She clutched at the metal object, like holding the hand of a loved one to feel more confident.

There was one last final sigh, and it spoke to a lot of regrets. Mistakes made with parenting, words you couldn’t take back, and one last attempt to try to fix it, with a fear of doing it wrong all over again. “...You’ll keep me posted on important crap going on, yeah? Like that meeting coming up.”

Jane’s heart sank, and her stomach felt queasy. “Yes. I’ll… I’ll represent our cause well.”

Meenah the Elder sighed, and there was a strong impression of eyes being rolled. “I’m doing my part here, but you’ll have to make a good case. C’mon! You can do it. I believe in ya, girl.”

“I’ll… I’ll do it!”

“That’s the spirit!” There was a sound, as if of a kiss being blown. “Don’t tell no one, but love ya.” The speaker disconnected.

Jane sighed in relief, and sat back, and her free hand came up to rub at her temples, right above a sub-dermal implanted augmenting her brain’s processing power. “Ugh…” She winced at what felt like a fairly rough headache.

The metal in her hand shimmered to life; this was not a metaphor. It glowed brightly, with a faint red color striking against a black casing, and a single bright red light glowed. It was alive, a person in its own right. Not life in the same way as cells and blood, but life in electricity and silicon: a true artificial intelligence. This particular one, having a wicked sense of humor and taste for irony that had probably been inherited from the family that had produced him, had named himself after a famous antagonistic AI; he called himself Hal Strider.

Various mechanical synapses wired into her kicked in, and the comforting presence of a familiar mind extruding into hers, at the border of consciousness, rather like a worshipper prostrating themselves before a deity. Hal’s mind hovered, and remotely took control of a small set of speakers Jane carried for this purpose. “Sup, Jane. You’re kinda freaked out.”

Jane groaned. “How can you tell…?” She asked with only a bit of sarcasm.

“I got my ways. Reading that your hearts, all three of ‘em, are pumping mad. Blood pressure is… hoo, that’s not healthy. Shoot, your muscles are tense, especially the ones built into support your… chest. And you’re getting one monster of a headache.” He stopped, perhaps in apology. “Also, it’s kind of obvious you’re freaked out. I’ll order some meds for that headache.”

“You’re a treat, Hal.” Jane slowly got up, dreading going to work. She enjoyed being an administrator, but that meeting loomed over her, and she felt queasy at it. ‘It’s just the possible future of extreme modding, all the potential benefits of self-controlled evolution and all that at stake. And if it’s penalized, trolls and carapacians and the other sapients could be legally prosecuted for having them built in… it’s all on ME.’

She sighed again. “No pressure.” She stood up straight, causing some hefty sloshing from her massive breasts, and cracking from her suit. Oh well. She had a job to do! She pocketed Hal’s corporeal container back into her cleavage, where he sank deep, right against her chest… right against her heart. It beat a bit faster, but definitely not from stress. She patted her upper swell of mammary, enjoying the feel of him so close. “Any medical issues to report?”

There was the briefest pauses from Hal, and Jane later would think this was probably a relevant point. As an artificial intelligence, Hal thought FAST; any hesitation from him was just for deliberate effect, or imitating human social behavior. He thought so fast that he never needed any time to check and report.

But any kind of pause, from him, was the equivalent of waiting several hours to just think really, really hard about something important.

In the span of that pause, Hal looked over Jane’s biology, checked her cybernetic implants, and all the rest. This was actually his job, at least in the official records, because ‘health care officer’ for the world’s most important heiress looked a lot better than ‘personal companion’ for a paycheck. There was some interesting activity going on with her brain. She was thinking so much lately, and her intelligent implants were processing over time, and there was something going on there… Hal noticed something odd there, in her brain chemistry. Chemical markers of something else-

Oh. Yes, of course. The… stuff Meenah the Elder had used to transform Jane from an ordinary, if modded, human into the behemoth she was growing into. All Hal knew about it is that it was absolutely off the books, and had come in a syringe. It hadn’t been manufactured; it had come from somewhere, and best as he could work out from the data he’d mined in old communications between the founding families, had something to do with some site that had started… well, everything.

No one did know exactly how Mom Lalonde, Roxy the First, had created the technologies and genetic splicing techniques to create the trolls in the first place. Or how easy the creation of the carapacians was, as if she had been working from a template. And there were other mysteries there… like that mutagenic stuff Meenah the Elder had used on Jane, treating it first with her own genetics, as if to fashion Jane into her own daughter in the physical sense.

It would seem it was still in Jane’s body. It was working all the time, slowly transforming her in subtle ways, making her a true fusion of human and troll, producing all kinds of mutations, and now it was interlacing with Jane’s cerebral implants and intelligence-boosting mods. And it was doing… something.

In that pause, Hal took a long time to figure out if he should tell Jane about all that, as he was honor bound to do, or if it was better not to worry here. In the end, AIs have hearts as much as anyone. Jane was stressed enough as it were. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, and onto Jane’s augmented reality-capable glasses, he made a little avatar of himself giving a thumbs up and a wink.

Jane smiled. “You’re sweet,” she said, and off they went to the offices.

Things did not improve much from there.

Several hours in: several hours of signing off on paperwork in her adoptive mother’s name, personally answering letters about their work that ranged from the merely offensive to the politically extremely disastrous if handled wrong. And then the mod stuff, addressing the medical aspects that were so crucial to their long-term success; they had to focus on the benefits of it to stay relevant in the eyes of the world, and they needed to fix so much…

Jane sighed in her office, Hal close at hand and presently extending himself into a terminal for this purpose. Letters flashed as he relayed several messages from Feferi and Roxy the Younger, and their suggestions for improving mods, and sent them to the labs once Jane gave her okay.

With the pain in her head, like something was trying to hammer its way out of here and making shocks that were hurting her spine, balancing the needs of modifications that could prove vital to the company’s success, and the welfare of all trolls and other beings, Jane was feeling physically ill; it was just too much, all at once.

“I can do this,” she mumbled to herself. “I can do it.”

“That’s the spirit,” Hal said soothingly. “Hasn’t that stuff I got you done anything yet?”

Jane clutched her head. She swore she could feel her skull moving beneath her fingers. Little hairline segments opening, and things sliding around, very gradually. And...pressing against her fingers? It was an illusion from the pain.

It had to be. “It’s not working…!” She hissed, shutting her eyes. Hal turned off visuals to her glasses, blanketing it in blessed darkness. “Ah… that’s better.”

Hal did the digital equivalent of relaxing… and then froze up. Aw shit, he thought.

The alert got past him, and a video call appeared on a TV. “Hello, miss acting executive,” said an oily voice doing its best to be deliberately unpleasant.

Jane stared at it. “Uhhh. Oh no…”

She was a human woman, of ordinary and unmodded build, and she had a certain look of someone who just love bringing bad news, and takes too much joy in being unpleasant. She smiled, thinly. “May I assume you are the representative of your company’s chief officer in this meeting?” she said, and wiggled her fingers at ‘chief officer’. She probably had wanted to say ‘animal’ instead, and gave the words a nasty spin that had the same effect.

Jane groaned. Dealing with bigots who openly wanted trolls declared subhuman creatures was not something she was fit to do in her state. She blinked hard, trying to focus; the whole world, even with her glasses going to full visibility again, swam in and out of focus. She cried out, pain stabbing hard right from inside her skull.

And again, and another one, and one more, harder than before: she clutched her head, oh god it HURTS!

The representative stared at Jane with poorly concealed distaste, eyes lingering sourly upon Jane’s gigantic cleavage, the faint moisture visible upon her suit from inside, and the other bits of what she had once referred to as ‘oversexed grotesquery’. “Perhap we might… reschedule,” she said nastily. “To account for your troubles. An implant misfiring, perhaps.”

“N-no!” Jane cried out. “I can attend- ah!” she clutched her head, falling onto the desk. Her breasts made it creak as they slammed down, and the rest of her bored down all the way, and the poor desk couldn’t take all her weight. It slowly folded inwards, and then burst, exploding over the room.

The monitor fell onto the floor. It was cracked, and where Jane heard the sound of dollars going up in smoke for nothing, she also heard the representative sounding pleased about her suffering. “This, I’m so afraid, will not look good for the use of implants and modifications. Not if they can backfire so terribly. I will recommend that we postpone the meeting. Ta~” The video ended.

Hal could sometimes be blunt. “Aw, shit.”

“No, no no no!” Jane thrust a fist onto the floor and it shook. She almost punched right through it. “I fucked up! I was working for barely one day, I was supposed to be a good heiress and I already fucked up!” She clutched her head. “And my head hurts, it hurts, oh goddammit stop HURTING!” She raised her head up, to headbutt the ground in a desperate attempt to do SOMETHINg to make it stop.

“Jane, no!” Hal cried out.

Jane yelled, in anger and pain and frustration but mostly the unending agony in her head-

The room went blue.

Psionics flooded out from her, energy bubbling up and exploding outwards in a single pulse, and the walls exploded. Or they ceased to exist, or exploded SO fast, and in such fine form, that they might as well have been annihilated. The blast kept going but got weaker, bowling desks over and trapping the employees. It kept going, setting off alarms and rattling drinking coolers, and all the way to the outer office windows, where the glass shook. This was pretty impressive, when they’d been built to tank anything short of a direct meteor strike.

Hal, silently, noted that Jane’s psionic put out had just risen to that expected of a fully trained goldblood specialist. “Jane…?” Hal asked. “How long have you been able to do that?”

Jane stared open-mouthed, a few bits of rubble falling on her. “I… can’t.” She swallowed. “And I just keep digging myself deeper. Oh, look at all this damage…!” she clutched her head against another fresh stab of pain, and now, she didn’t even notice a swell of blue from her hands flare up at it. She wasn’t in much of a position to be aware that as the pain rose, so did her psionic ratings, while something in her head changed.

Hal did, though. “Uh, Jane?”

“WHAT.”

Hal gave up. “I’ll call someone to help you get out of here.”

Jane’s impulse to insist she could handle this and convince the officials not to postpone the meeting faltered beneath another brutal swell, and a grinding sound in her head. “Oh God… okay, okay! That, that would be best. Okay. Do it. Please…?”

She laid down there for some time, her head grinding and the pain swelling and rising in random waves. And there, Jane realized something odd. With each peak of pain, when the hurting hit the point where it was so bad she could barely think, she kept having ideas.

She didn’t know where they came from. It was as if something was pushing them together, and some part of her was working things out. That the pain was making something happen, and she was figuring things, working through them.

As Hal ran his request out to the first available person, Jane held a hand out and fumbled in the rubble. Still laying down, she found a little tablet that had survived the destruction. She couldn’t look directly at it, not with that screen glare, but she could feel it, and she typed out on it. She sent it.

As an attendant was brought in to escort Jane home, the labs were surprised to receive a write up on a mod formula that had been puzzling them for a while; it was a perfect one, an absolutely ideal suggestion that stood up to all testing. And the really tricky bit?

When they’d sent it upstairs for review, it had only been a concept. Not a fully fleshed out mod; that took months of constant research and testing to do, and Jane had finished it in moments. She’d figured it out.

Upstairs, Jane was being helped to her feet with the help of a black carapacian who called himself the Archive Ranger. “Up you get, ma’am,” he said cheerfully, supporting her massive frame with a small forklift.

“Uhhh…” Jane groaned.

“Uh, Janey. If you give me access, my implants are all over your nervous system and brain; I can shut off your pain receptors for a while-”

“DO IT, PLEASE.”

Hal did so. Jane felt satisfying numbness, and almost fell over. She clutched her head, in relief-

And froze. There was rubble in the way, obscuring her head from sight, but she still felt something round there. Protruding out from her skull, inhumanly. And she still felt her head grinding, shifting…

Transforming. Growing.

For, as the rubble fell away when she was lifted up, it revealed her head in full.

And that, from directly above her eyes, her head had swelled into a perfect sphere.

The Archive Ranger peered. “Um. You, uh. Feeling okay, ma’am?”

Jane breathed in. “What the fu-”

-----

It was a few hours later. The pain was still gone, courtesy of Hal’s presence, and that just left room for Jane to get extremely upset.

Well, not upset, per se. More angry. Or ‘blisteringly furious’.

“You could have told me!” She yelled, stomping around in one of the palatial expanses of her private suite, doing her best not to fall over. She’d been figuring that out for a while, but now she was having to balance not just gigantic hips and hyper-productive breasts larger than her torso, but… well.

That. She felt up her head again, gingerly, as if trying to remind herself it was real. Her fingers slid up from her jawline, to her temple, and there. Where she expected hair, her skull had grown up, swelling upwards, outwards, at a fairly steep angle. Her fingers slid across a strange combination of trollish, human and mechanical bits, all of it growing together in a curious melding. Swells of biomechanical implants that had grown larger from some unknown process, chitinous structure growing beneath the skin to support her new growth, and human skin, thicker than usual. And yet another troll bit, interwoven into ordinary brown skin, vein-line conduits of psionic energy, glowing a vibrant shade of light blue.

She was now in the same league as the Captor line of trolls, in terms of raw psionic power. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Mostly she was concerned about how, according to the x-ray scans that had been taken, her brain had expanded. It had grown outwards, and her skull’s expanded size, for all its disturbing girth, was actually a fairly thin layer. Robust and armored, to be sure, but almost all the mass was her brain.

Her thoughts moved fast, so fast they doubled in on themselves, they criss-crossed and planted new mini-thoughts that blossomed on their own, to unexpectedly arrive at another point and yield insights that felt so perfect, so sublime. It was a pleasure, feeling the depth of her thoughts, the sudden clarity of it.

“You could have told me,” she said again, trying to hold on to the anger. And not focus on how good it felt, thinking so… so profoundly, with such perfect clearness. And the air on her enlarged head felt so nice. It was odd, but so pleasant. Her body shivered at the sensations, and after the horrific headaches of earlier, this was a welcome change of pace.

“I…” Hal hesitated. Another one of those little pauses, so significant in a hyper intelligent AI. “Shit. You’re right. You’re correct, okay? I was scared, okay? I thought you were too stressed out, and when i picked up there was something going on with your head, I figured… I don’t know. Just a little mutation.”

Jane indicated her expanded cranium. She pointed at what had presumably been a intelligence-boosting implant. Somehow, it had grown larger, from a sub-dermal machine to a large swath of smoothly moving machinery, with an oily motion, arcing upwards into a shape uncannily like a troll’s horn. “This? A little?”

“I didn’t realize what was going on! Okay!?”

“How!? You’re a super intelligent AI, how could you not pick that up!?”

Hal tried to figure that one out. It wasn’t as if Jane’s changes had been subtle. “Best as I can figure out, your skull changing was the cause of all that pain, and, I don’t know, something with it boosted your psionics. Built in a better energy network? It interfered with my readings too much, and I was stretched thin. I had no idea any of that was happening!”

“Hmph.” Jane tapped her foot. “Okay… okay then.” Several dozen ideas ran around, meshed together, and sixteen conclusions presented themselves. “That sounds about right.”

“I suppose we could call Meenah the Elder,” Hal said. “We can figure something out-”

“No!” Jane cried out, her eyes wide, ad psionic energy rising around her. “We can’t! It hasn’t even been a day! I need to show her I can do this! I’m a worthy heiress, I need to prove it!”

“But-”

“I can handle this!” She glared at the nearest camera that she knew he was seeing her through.

It lowered dejectedly. Hal gave in. “Okay, okay… so. What do we do then.”

Jane glanced to a nearby computer. She sighed, going over to it and sitting down in the quadruple chair arrangement, suitable to her gigantic backside. “Well, for one, I start working from home. I might as well set a good example; even unexpectedly mutated, I still do as I promised!”

“Wait, don’t forget to-”

There was a crash. And the distinctive sound of a troll-scale chair falling over.

“And perhaps we can get something up her to support my head,” Jane said, from the floor.

Several days passed.

Several days of heady, rampant mutation.

Jane sat at a bench of sorts, examining a holographic blueprint of what appeared to be a purely synthetic body; a robotic shell, capable of fulfilling all relevant biological capabilities, particularly those related to reproduction.

She leaned forward. A harness looped to her head, linked to several wheeled poles to support her head, moved with her.

Her head was far from reaching its final growth. It had only gotten bigger, nearly doubling in size; it was nearly as large as Jane herself, and strangely it didn’t feel that heavy. Jane suspected that her psionics were being naturally diverted into supporting its weight, a minor use of her growing powers she didn’t even have to think about, and Hal’s investigations supported this.

Several glowing spots, reservoirs of psionic energy, shimmered like cyan sunspots on the side of her head. Peaking atop it, her cybernetic bits had just gotten bigger, angling further and further, projecting into distinctive horn shapes, which felt rather appropriate to her.

All of today’s office work is done, she thought to herself, the notion blazing past so fast it had a dozen other variations analyzing the idea from every angle. Her thoughts were coming faster these days, and more clearly; it was like having twenty other Janes thinking with her, and each day, her head got bigger, and her intelligence seemed to be growing as much as her brain was; she felt the peak of some strange singularity, hovering before her.

Surely it wasn’t usual to find… pleasure in just thinking? But here she was, a cool shiver sliding up her back with every moment of pontification. It felt like being milked; an almost shameful pleasure for how different it was from the human norm, and there was so MUCH of it!

The work of an entire week’s worth, finished before breakfast. Jane contemplated that, as fast as she could pull off work now, having an entire day with nothing in particular to do felt a bit daunting. Now what?

Thus, her pet project.

Jane, in addition to her brain, was significantly bigger than she’d been that day she had come from the office. Her appetite had grown truly terrifying; she felt compelled to just eat and eat, fueling her brain’s expansion, but it was going to the rest of her body. She was wider, taller… mostly a lot taller. She wasn’t sure how much so, but she’d had to smash through doorways, mostly with her expanding hips, and none of her clothes fit either. She expected she was upwards of ten feet tall now, and only getting bigger.

“So, what are you working on here, Jane?” Hal said, a camera tilting towards her.

“I assume you recall the project to create truly functional bodies for synthetics,” Jane said,typing on a keyboard and entering in new schematics.

“Hah, yeah. Of course. It’s only been everything I ever wanted.” He made an irritable synthetic noise. “Trapped in these shells that can’t feel, away from you except by proxy… it sucks. It’s literally the worst. Get a dictionary, look up ‘The Worst’, and you’ll find these sucker shells next to ‘em.”

“Yep.” Jane’s head did not wobble much, being about the only part of her that didn’t. It was smooth, gleaming faintly, with not a bit of hair at all now. It did crackle faintly with blue light as she thought about several significant things at once. “The problem with making a chassis that can support a digital consciousness; not being the root of it, but just a channel for it.”

‘The same way I ride in whatever shell I can get.”

“Yes. And of course…” Jane felt conscious of her potential. Her broodmother potential, in fact. “No one’s been able to work out a way to make a synthetic body that’s actual virile. Capable of reproducing.”

Hal paused for a significant amount of time. “...No. They haven’t.” Bitterness and longing twanged from his words.

“I expect that there’s ways to make synthetic reproduction work through creative application of genetic templates and delivery systems,” Jane said thoughtfully. She was built for breeding, she’d redesigned herself to be the ultimate reproductive force just like any troll woman, but… she’d never had any person she really wanted to do that with. Except for one, and he was physically incapable of it. He didn’t even have a body.

Jane glanced down at the schematic. Until now, at least.

Hal spoke up. Something seemed to have been on his mind. “We can, you know, reverse the change. Get into talk with Roxy or Feferi. They know mutation better than anyone else. If you don’t want this, we can reverse it…?” The tone hung in the air, a delicate question.

Jane let the thousands of possibilities for rebuttal soar inside her mind, circling about and becoming more loud and furious, and she reveled in how good it felt to let the thoughts grow. The clarity of her thinking, the speed of it. She felt so… smart.

“Nah,” Jane said, opting for gentleness. She reached into her cleavage with a sloshy sound as her boobs shifted, and cradled Hal with a tough. “I’m… fine with this.”

And that was the amazing part. There was no lie there. She really was happy with this.

Reflectively, she thought that it would have been surprising to others. This mutation was by far even more extreme than her fusion of troll and human traits; she’d been straddling the line between species as is.

But, as shocking as it was, as utterly inhuman this change was…

Between the pleasure of her thoughts and the vastness of her growing intellect, the expansion of her psionic abilities, and the simply physical sensations, this felt good. The thought of going back was horrifying, and it made her feel faint, and small.

She never wanted to feel small again.

That reminded her; the meeting had been rescheduled after all, the bulk of her growth rendering her unable to attend any discussions about that, and soon it would be time to prove she could handle her duties.

She swallowed. She still wasn’t feeling confident enough…

But perhaps, she thought as twenty two ways of pretending to be confident and steely of purpose instantly were plain to her, she could fake it really well. She could out think her foe here, for sure.

Her stomach rumbled. “Hal, sweetie, can you order a fifty-course meal? I’m feeling peckish and growing this much is hungry work!”

“I’ll order up the tailors again,” Hal said dryly.

She waved a finger scoldingly at the camera. “Don’t tease.”

Weeks passed as the meeting was arranged, and Jane went through a period of ‘oh god I’m making so much trouble happen, this expense is all because of me’, but some common sense came through when she thought about the situation. As Hal agreed, even if this wouldn’t look good for her image that they had to postpone a meeting on her account, the time spent organizing everything, from catering to preparing agendas to securing an appropriate venue with the right amount of prestige, was time Jane had to prepare herself.

She wouldn’t have been prepared on that meeting day. And her thoughts moved fast, and examining everything from all the possible angles, the idea emerged within her wondrous brain that she could still have done it that day. By the skin of her teeth, perhaps, but she still could have secured victory.

Meenah the Elder had all the world to pick from for her heiress. She had chosen Jane, and now Jane had the perspective to think that maybe the wily leviathan had seen something she hadn’t.

“An interesting choice of school,” Jane observed during her training regimen, as she called it. She sat at a table, laden with food to supercharge her body and a number of mutagenic package serums, running up in IVs to various parts of her body. Before here, surrounded by small mountains of food that Jane’s ravenous appetite considered a small snack, there was a small folder and it was opened to a record of the woman responsible for rearranging the meeting, seemingly just to mock Jane.

“How so?” Hal asked. Jane turned, and leaning over the table, there was a robot. It was Hal, at last in a new body, handcrafted by her. Not the most advanced sort, she had to admit, but it was the best she could do on short notice and Hal, Hal was not picky. A crude shape, similar to a crash test dummy, but he was there.

His body was just a test run, an essay in the craft she was creating all on her own. She’d make better ones. But he was holding her hand. He looked so small, for the body was human-sized, and she was already troll-sized, and his palm barely fit over one knuckle. But she could feel him, and he could feel her.

Even if she didn’t relish all the marvelous results of her enlarged brain, that alone would have made the change worth it.

“Take a look!” She handed the folder over, minding her head, and she had to lean down heavily to pass it down. Lots of things bumped into one another; her constantly swelling breasts, creaking heavily and wetly against her pajamas, made the table creak beneath them, and her expanded her almost crushed the dishes beneath it.

Hal took it. “School created by her parents, huh. And no non-humans allowed… blanket ban of AIs… charming. We’ve barely existed for more than a few decades, too. That’s a fast ban. I’m kind of proud; my people are truly irritating bastards! And her parents were also involved in politics were dealing. Nepotism there, I imagine.” He flipped through the rest of the folder, and just for fun, hacked into the relevant servers and pulled all information on her. “Okay, got the rest of it, so have fun with a personality outline. Good for strategies.”

Jane tapped her head smugly. “I’ve already figured that out, but you’re a dear. Thank you. I think I should begin my regimen for today, then.”

“No problem.” Hal began powering up the IVs, fluids pouring up into Jane. He considered one that ran up into her brain. “You’re sure about this, then?”

“Yes!” Jane’s expression was a little delirious.

Hal did a few calculations, mostly concerning the experimental nature of the mod she was applying to her brain. Mental enhancement, augmenting memory storage, processing speed, and introducing the capacity for creating shelf-minds to briefly examine a question from multiple perspectives. It was not terribly subtle as an enhancement; most of the other Crocker Corp mods of this nature simply amplified existing capacity, but this one did rearrange the structure of the brain to improve it.

He looked up. Jane’s brain was bigger than she was now; several times bigger than her, eclipsing her and it was still growing. Her skull had fully reshaped around it into a kind of cartilaginous support as hard as armor, complex networks of psionic light producing a fascinatingly complex arrangement around its curves. He wasn’t sure how this stuff would change her brain… but if Jane wanted it, he wouldn’t argue.

Hal happily considered himself an absolute bastard, but when it came to Jane, he was a doormat. “Full force on those mod delivery systems!” Jane commanded, and he did so.

She squeaked, happily, as they hit her system. Many of them were amplification mods, designed to expand on your existing shape and traits (and existing mods), and since Jane was so modded up, they had a lot to work with. Her clothes creaked, built to support her massive body but unable to withstand the pressures of her growth all at once: stitches popped as her breasts grew, expanding by a troll cup-size every few seconds, heavily swelling outwards. Her milk production ramped up, supported by some enhancements Jane had worked there with a clever little addition that made her breast tissue synchronize with her brain; more boob size and milk amplified her processing power,

Her hips grew, waistband creaking and popping right off. Her belly, already so heavy and dense, grew out and just over the swell of her groin, right onto thighs that were growing individual larger than some troll boys on the spot. It didn’t help her legs were getting longer, her bones expanding and reshaping to support such architectural weight. Jane visibly grew upwards, even as her hips grew wider than a couple trucks parked together, her backside swallowing up and crushing the chairs she sat on as it billowed out.

A foot taller. A couple feet, then three feet. Jane kept growing, taller and taller, right alone with her curves getting bigger, her enlarged breasts instantly filling up with brain-boosting milk, and she squealed with delight as her clothes popped right off, burst from her body’s best efforts to outdo itself.

And her brain was shifted, squirming from within. Jane’s eyes crossed as she momentarily blacked out. The change didn’t take long, but it was by far the most complex happening in her body, even exceeding the troll/human hybridization process. Hal supposed it was like upgrading a motherboard while the terminal was still on; you had to have some shutdown.

A fairly human brain design was being reworked from the ground up; her brain, beneath the skull, became a complex arrangement of zig-zags and criss crossed knots, not doing individual jobs but becoming a mass of interconnected processors, linked together to a central core. Amplifying it, adding additional layers to itself, and what that brain had originally been capable of was redefined, evolutionary missteps corrected instantaneously and improved upon.

At this point the other mods kicked in; the boosters, the additional intelligence amps, and some cybernetic upgrades.

Jane’s eyes opened and she squealed in delight when her head expanded. Her eyes almost went cross as her head began rapidly growing. Not an inch at a time, but rather, a whole foot, all in a second. Visibly her head swelled, skull reforming into something much more flexible, rather like an organic balloon, just to keep pace with it.

And like a balloon it grew! As if invisible hands were spreading raw material into it and kneading it all into place, Jane’s head grew larger, and larger still. It got even rounder, with nodules of cybernetic relays, ports popping up like fins, curling whorls where her chitinous support plates and psionic networks knitted together and then grew bigger.

It was already bigger than Jane, who by now was over fifteen feet tall. A proper troll size, close to what Meenah the Elder had been at her age. A brain over sixteen feet around, nearly twenty five feet across, radiating enough raw psionic energy to erase a small mountain-

And it was still growing. It pulsed from within, glowing blue with just a hint of more neon fuchsias.

And Jane gasped, on the verge of something grand and alien, but good. Her eyes shone like someone who saw the shape of the universe, and the code thereof. She put her hands up to her head, eyes wide and full of delight. “I can see it! I understand it!”

“Understand… what?” Hal asked, baffled.

Jane took a deep breath and nearly shouted, “Everything!”

The weeks of waiting, and additional growth for Jane and all her different plans to be worked out, came to an end. The meeting, and its possible implications for the future of modding and the Lalonde offspring species, was upon them.

Jane was late, citing transportation difficulties. This did not pass unnoticed by the meeting crowd.

“The poor mutant has likely gotten herself wedged in some doorway or something,” the representative who had reorganized the meeting in the first place said with a tutting sound. “Or I dare say all those artificial hormones she’s flooded her body with have done terrible things to her memory.”

“Allowances for size problems were accounted for,” objected a thin fellow who was taking a ‘wait and see’ attitude to the whole matter at hand. He was starting to suspect some kind of personal vendetta from the first representative, and it was starting to grate at him.

The representative smirked. “They wouldn’t be necessary if they didn’t permit mutation into such overlarge forms.”

“If that was the case, the trolls would be harshly penalized for being born over the legal limit of size,” observed another person. They didn’t sound like they thought this was a good thing, or a bad thing. They just said it.

“Which would be cruel and inhumane, to punish people for their biology,” another woman said, more sternly. This got a few nods, but not many, from the fence-sitting portion of the representatives.

The first representative smiled in a very nasty way. “We’ll see.” Those on her side of the ‘lets just be absolute bastards’ crowd nodded. Though in a non committal way. They were intending on making life just the worst for trolls and those like them, but they weren’t going to put themselves onto a bullseye for it.

There came a sound, as if of footsteps, so heavy they made the walls shake even in this auditorium selected for its size. “Ah,” said another. “That must be-”

The door opened. A foot, in an elegant high heeled shoe longer than a child’s bed, crashed into the floor. Then the walls abruptly exploded into a perfect silhouette for something very big to step though; expanding hugely for monstrously huge hips, even more for breasts that looked like they needed trucks to support them, and then, an enormous globe glowing like a blue son.

The awe-inspiringly big woman, as large as any troll, dd not step in. She took another movement and floated into the air, seemingly as light as a leaf. Behind her, the wall rubble floated back into place and sealed itself back into solid form, as though it had never been broken.

“Her,” the figure who had spoken finished weakly.

“So sorry I am late,” Jane Crocker said smoothly, doing her best to hide her screaming nervousness and keep up the pretense of a Cool Business Leader Who Knows Her Stuff. “But then you were all warned, but I apologize again.”

They stared up at her, and the general attitude was of meekness and terrified shock; most of them had never actually been in the same room as a troll before, and weren’t the type to be around people who enjoyed modding themselves; it was their first time seeing someone three times as tall as a human, and so curvaceous, or floating with telekinesis.

It was probably more relevant to their shock that Jane's head, above her eyes, was a massive ball generating so much psionic energy it glowed like light, so thickly that it had taken on solid form and rather resembled her old hair style. Light blue, at that. And it was so massive, taking up a good chunk of the auditorium where she was; it had to measure almost fifty feet across, at least!

“What the fu-” the first representative, the dreadful one, started to say, her eyes widening in disgust and shock.

Jane held up a finger. “Ah. Please let’s not be vulgar?”

The representative stopped. She kept staring, openly repelled. “What have you done to yourself…?! You’re not even human anymore?”

Ah, perfect! Jane repressed the urge to smirk victoriously. Her foe was presenting an overly antagonistic front, and setting herself up to look like the bad guy. This was almost too easy. Her gigantic brain, and all the intellectual boosts it provided, gave her no less than twenty six thousand different routes, each perfectly assured to give her what she wanted, to discredit her foe’s position.

She selected one. ‘Miss, I apologize but whether or not a certain degree of modding voids my species is not the subject of this meeting, nor is it entirely appropriate to comment upon. May I ask that we proceed with the meeting?”

“Ah, yes,” another representative said, rather dazed. He coughed. “First on the agenda, I believe. Now, as representative of the… the biggest modding corporation in the world…” he paused again, trailing off. He kept glancing at Jane’s… well, everything. Jane had to admit that perhaps the low cut of her business suit was rather daring but she was feeling proud of her handiwork in reshaping herself.

“Are mods dangerous? Please!” This was the obnoxious representative, again. Jane had to give her credit; she was dogged. “You WOULD be the expert on that!”

Jane was pleased, despite the insult. The woman had likely prepared a line of questioning intended to poison the meeting against even a moderate position for modding, a subtle one, and Jane’s appearance had rattled her so much, she was showing her hand without thinking.

Making sure to keep her poise and calm demeanor intact, Jane replied evenly, her glasses gleaming in reflection from her cyan aura. A background susurration of her thinking went around, providing perfect counters to everything that might be used against her, and a stray thought observed that Jane’s glass effect probably made her look very spooky.

Jane made her point, briefly but winding her words with so much sincerity and earnestness that just objecting to them would be deeply offensive and cruel. Certainly it would make an opponent look bad, and the woman who had started all this looked uncertain how to proceed.

Appropriate, then. The whole reason that dreadful woman had rearranged the meeting had been to humiliate Jane. And Jane’s position of course; that was a political thing, Making your opponent look back, striking at their position through proxy.

Well, Jane thought. Two could play that role.

Jane reinforced her point, with no less than sixteen different arguments that also served as counter arguments for… well, at least twenty five separate retorts that were in the seventy-six most likely statements she would have to face. That was just off the top of her head of course; she had much stronger arguments in store if they really pushed her.

And she hadn’t cried at all, or showed a sign of her nervous she actually was! She was getting good at pretending to be confident.

About fifteen minutes in, there was something of a problem. “Well, I… ah… that is… I believe Miss Crocker, Egbert…? I think you’ve nicely summed up our side's position on the matter,” said a man who Jane felt certain was on her side. He looked faint, all the same, too unsteady to be certain of what he was really saying.

Jane blinked. She had seen something like this coming, her mighty brain had worked it out, but it was a surprise all the same. “But it’s only been fifteen minutes!”

“Well, yes,” said another. “You thought of everything you needed to say!”

The opponents shook their heads glumly. “What am I supposed to say to any of that?” one managed, shrugging. The first representative didn’t say anything at all. She had a venomous look, but from what Jane had gathered from her, that was just her default state of expression.

“...Oh,” Jane said, using those valuable pauses to work out what to say next. “I am so sorry, everyone!”

“No need, miss,” and this, surprisingly enough, came from the crowd opposed to her position. “I must say. I’m still not comfortably with the idea of injecting things into yourself, or eating things that do things like that to your body… but it’s helped you think faster and better, yes?”

“But of course,” Jane said primly. “The corporation I work at, we are laboring all the time to make such products available for everyone. In more subtle forms, if that pleases you.” She tapped a cybernetic extrusion that looked like the tines of a crown. “It may seem… an unusual choice, but we are all about personal freedom and respect of the body. I can assure you!”

“Certainly something to think about, ma’am,” the speaker replied, and Jane did not miss the switch from ‘Miss’ to ‘ma’am’.

This, of course, left them with nearly six hours left, and not really much less to do for the meeting. In all honesty, she hadn’t seen that coming at all.

Life went on.

Those with a political ear to the ground, or who a close on the research communities, heard of the restrictions around modding being lightened, or at least that they were being considered for it. Trolls, carapacians, and others sighed in relief, grmly waiting for the next government-sponsored threat to their existence, but felt a bit better about this support.

That said, the precise events of the meeting were unknown to most people. The authorities involved were too embarrassed to own up to what had actually happened, and were keeping the particulars under wraps.

This was certainly interesting to Meenah the Elder, known to her friends and employees as the Condesce. She fancied herself a shrewd political player, even if it was mostly of the ‘smash your face against the wall until the wall breaks’ kind of play, and badly wanted to know the specifics.

“Couldn’t tell ya, I didn’t actually attend,” said Li’l Hal, sitting across from her on her personal jet, and he was drinking a cup of milk that was apparently of excellent source, with a hint of alcoholic spice. This was interesting to the Condesce, as he was. Well. In a physical body.

Of all the people to have arrived specifically to meet her at the eve of her trip ending and escorting her to Jane’s mysterious post-politics retreat, she had not expected Jane’s assistant. Particularly in person.

Several questions posed themselves. She settled for, “How the hell did you get a body?”

Hal smirked. His physical body was obviously robotic; a shining and shimmering automaton modeled broadly on the human form, with a hint of carapacian, and facial features from all of those. He didn’t have many features from humans; his antipathy towards the species that had made them was rather infamous, and no doubt he had refused to honor his makers in any way possible with his design.

“Jane designed it,” he said.

She paused. “Janey.”

“Yep.”

“Janey built you a body.”

“Yep.”

“Janey, who has absolutely no interest in mechanics, worked out a branch of robotics we’ve been trying to figure out for decades.”

“Yep.”

“And in the course of mah little trip out, yeah?”

“If I said yep again, would that be redundant.”

Meenah the Elder scoffed. She sat back, a giantess even by the standard of trolls, her engorged figure so enormously swelled that it was said her bras qualified as architectural support and her custom chairs made from old tanks. “Sure, fine. Don’t tell me, chumbait.”

Hal chuckled again, in that very dark way he’d worked out to make people as worried as possible.

Meenah glanced outside. The jet approached an island, the sea visible far below. It offended her ancestry to be so far away from the sea, which was a bit perplexing when she was the first troll of her blood color, but you couldn’t help how you felt. “Huh. That’s the island the Harleys keep all their weird experiments at, right? Where they test the new lusii and keep those big monster things at.”

Hal glanced out the window. A pteranodon was drifting in view, without paying them much interest. “The dinosaurs and stuff. Yeah. Nepeta comes here for hunting and isolation when she’s pregnant.”

“So what’s Janey doing here.”

Hal scratched the side of his arm absently, apparently itching. “She’s working on something and she’s finishing a round of transformation. I guess she wanted to be alone in peace for it.” With a hint of smugness he added, “Except for me.”

“Don’t go breaking yer arm patting yourself on the back,” Meenah the Elder said dryly. “Ya only just got the body.” She glanced out, looking pleased. “Transformation, eh? Janey’s sent me messages ‘bout that. She finally growing big as a troll, like I always figured?”

“Well. Uh. She has. But…?” Hal felt uncharacteristically uncertain. “What DID Jane tell you?”

“Talk about how she’s gotten bigger. And she thinks she’s full of herself.”

“She what?”

“Y’know. She said she’s got a swelled head. Ain’t a bad thing. She knows how good she is, now!”

“I. okay. Wow. I think you may have misunderstood what she meant. I mean. She IS big like a troll now, but-”

“But what?” Meenah the Elder frowned. “Whatta ya getting at?”

Hal considered just telling her, and decided against it. Firstly, it would be a breach of Jane’s trust, telling people without her say so. Secondly, she wanted to greet Meenah the Elder in person, on this eve of her great success. And three, and perhaps most importantly, it was gonna be goddamn hilarious.

“Better to show you,” he said, and successfully did not burst out into a round of maniacal cackling.

The jet touched down onto a runway on a part of the island not particularly frequented by recombinant tyrannosaurs produced by the Harleys (and the meek personalities of kakapo birds, apparently) or rampaging lusii grown to kaiju size from unforeseen complications in the mutations, and the gigantically curvy older troll was pleased by the palatial estate sprawling partway into the sea. Jane liked the finer things in life, and Meenah approved. A short distance away, was… Meenah squinted.

A hill, floating in the air? And beneath it was some kind of round building. Hrm, she considered. Janey was working on some kinda experiment. Worth investigating.

Hal escorted her out and led her, not to the estate, but to Meenah’s surprise, to the hill.

As they got closer, she became aware of a radiant light she had initially believed was a fancy lightshow, but as they walked up a path going to it, she felt the distinctive tingle and skin rippling pressure of psionics. Very powerful ones, at that. “The hell is she doing here? Some kinda psionic battery?”

“That’s… technically true,” Hal said. “I wouldn’t know, though. Not my field.”

She grunted in disinterest.

They came up to it, and small bits of stony rubble, with bits of moss there, were gently floating down. Blue light engulfed them and, as they fell, were reshaped. Carved, perhaps, by an unseen hand. Meenah looked up and saw the hill above them, eclipsed by the vast shape overhead, being changed. The rough edges were being smoothed out, ground down. Little statuettes and gargoyles were extending outwards, getting longer and more ludicrously detailed. The middle of the hill’s bottom half looked like an overworked stonemason’s idea of perfect Gothic architecture, and it was spreading to the rest of it.

Meenah held a hand out. A bit of hill was formed into what was unmistakably a small hand that pressed against her palm. It turned blue and fell away. “Some serious psionics there! Is she carving the damn thing!?”

“I guess so?” Hal said, shrugging.

Meenah looked down, and stars extended from beneath her toe claws. They rose up, moving upwards, all the way up to the top of the hill, but below the big globe above it.

Her wings, fashioned after a manta rays, fluttered and closed. “Guess we go up,” she said, and did so. The stairs didn’t creak beneath her weight, but flexed at the same time her monster hips did. She tried to swat Hal off the stars behind her with her tail, just for mischief, but he dodged it without comment. It was an automatic reaction from her, too.

Meenah came to the top. “Janey! Where are you, girl!?”

“Hey!” A voice said brightly, from in front of her.

Meenah looked up, towards the globe, and for a moment her vision failed her. She saw Jane, sure enough, and from her perspective, floating right below the big globe above them. A globe that was radiant blue, and obscured in a way that made it hard to make out. Jane looked different; bigger, wider, more of that sweet troll bigness.e

Meenah held her arms out, commanding. “C’mere, didn’t come halfway around the world and not get a hug first thing!”

Jane slowly floated down and inside, Meenah thought: ‘Psionics? Hell yeah! That’s a big change, how’d you get to do that!?’ She had been working on that upgrade for a while now. The big globe came with her, so perhaps it really was a battery of some kind.

Jane’s arms, broad and thick with muscle but thicker with softness, came around Meenah’s middle and squeezed her tightly. Meenah hugged her back, and took stock of her in a second; bigger body, much bigger, way more curvy. Hips huge enough to wreck doors; she was a little below Meenah’s elbow and just the right size for a tall troll girl, breasts so big they made up most of her body weight - good and milky, from the sound! - and at this point Condy took in face.

Or rather, Jane’s head.

The globe she had seen was Jane’s head. That massive round shape, larger than an entire apartment building, was a part of Jane! Her head expanded outwards above the temples, into a complex curve of chitinous support frames and complicated psionic networks and great chunks of cybernetic designs, all glowing with so much blue light that it looked like a rather calming star.

Meenah could feel the power emanating from her. That Jane wasn’t even trying to float, and hold up the hill, and carve it up at the microscopic level, all at once.

“Holy shit, yes,” she breathed out, with a rather frightening grin.

“I did it!” Jane said, full of delight and joy. “I did so well at that meeting!”

“I knew it, didn’t I?” Meenah agreed. “Told ya, all those years, you had it! And you did good!” She hugged her again, and then clasped the closest curves of Jane’s enlarged head. “And what’s this beauty I see, eh?”

“Um. The mutagens in my system reacted with my brain boosts and my head sort of … swelled. I tried to tell you.”

“What’s it do for ya? Huh?”

“Psionic boosts,” Jane said promptly. “And a vast increase to intelligence! And, oh, all manner of things. Better reasoning ability, memory retaining, new forms of thinking…”

“Learning a whole new branch of robotics, in a day?” Meenah said.

Jane blushed. “That too…”

“Ya robot boy’s body looks nice.”

“Thank you!”

Meenah patted Jane’s head. It was firm to the touch, very solid, and crackled against her skin. “So, that’s what you meant by a swelled head, huh?” Jane nodded, almost bonking Meenah it he rhead, and this gave Meenah the opportunity to note that the largest bits of biomechanical parts looked like horns. Long, rather thin and… she tried to ignore her hearts skipping a beat. They looked like, her own horns.

Meenah hugged her again. Full of pride, no small amount of respect, and a lot of professional fascination with what Jane had done. “Don’t you tell no one, but I’m this proud of ya. Knew you had it in you.”

Jane grinned, and for once, the pride she felt was not feigned. “Aw!” She thought, in rapid succession, of the best thing to reply, and the obvious one suggested itself. “Thank you… Mother.”

Meenah’s expression, the delighted widening of that smile into something more genuine and sweet, was the finest thing she’d ever seen.

#/#//#///#////#/////#my writing #fics #twitchy!jane crocker #twitchy!homestuck #commissions #i am not actually into brain growth #but this was a commission and im willing to do stuff that's not my kinda thing if its for comission!#queued

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fanesavin · 5 years

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The High Inquisitor and the Master of Whisperers go tête-à-tête with little progress made on either’s behalf.

@thatwhichbindsus

Unlike the rookery, this meeting room had no windows. It was stale, and still decorated in the House Sharma colours in the tapestries and cloth on the table. The last time she'd been here, Avitej had been a lord, and they'd been planning the last days of the tour in golden firelight. Waiting for the opinion of Prelate Theodore, and smiling over slick comments she'd made. Now, it was cold. Ciara adjusted her gloves on her wrists, for need of something to do. They were new and had not yet worn comfortably - she had bought them to celebrate the coronation, and they weren't yet worn in the right places to be fully comfortable. The dress similarly, she had changed since the morning's banquet. Since meeting Lady Cassandra in the halls and finding the filth that lay beyond. Ciara had left the body with a piece of ripped cloth in her hands, and had hurried from the prison so quickly she worried the guards had heard the secret doors click. No matter now. She startled a little when the door opened, and stood to bow her head towards Lord Savin as he stepped inside. "You asked to meet, my lord?"

For the duration of his investigations, Fane opted to work out of his private study rather than the council chambers if only to maintain the general impression that he was not nor had any designs on the throne. Power presently resided in his hands, but it was cumbersome and unwieldy; a burden more than a benefit in his opinion. He would not rise about his station nor allow himself to get too big for his boots, for down that road only lay destruction and corruption. Perhaps, if he were a younger man with more ambition he would have considered such a route, but such a man he was not.

The investigation was progressing, albeit slowly. Fane knew more now than he did before and there were pieces of a far larger puzzle beginning to fill in. A timeline of the crown, its whereabouts and several opportunities for it to have been tampered with. The most prominent being in the Kingdoms of Summerset and Kesley, taking it to the blacksmith it had been confirmed that the crown that was used in the coronation was not, in fact, the one that had been commissioned by the High Raj. Fane had been careful in his decision to visit the man in the city, taking a longer route with more stops than perhaps was necessary. But paranoia in these times was unsurprising and after their discussion Fane had come away with a purse far lighter than before for the man to keep such information to himself.

Unfortunately, his return to the castle had been greeted with less than welcome news. Another death, this time the Kesley Lord in the dungeons. Fane had gone their straight and sight that awaited him was a grim one indeed. But mistakes had been made. The guards on duty, who had been the ones to return and find the man when he was due to be given his meal meagerly admitted under interrogation to the Grand Lady and her strange companion’s presence and their claims to be acting on his behalf. For they had not been paid to maintain their silence.

Lies and deceit. The time was slipping away faster by the moment.

“Aye,” he said while shutting the door behind him, one hand moving to rest casually on the pommel of the short blade tucked into his belt the casual stance of a soldier. “Perhaps we’ll start with your own personal deceit, hm?”

He closed the door behind her to hide them from listening eyes and ears, and without pause her eyes slid down to the sword on his hip as he rested his hand on it. A soldier's stance perhaps, but in a lady's presence? It sent a certain message. "Certainly, my lord," Ciara replied with an easy, closed lip smile. "Tell me first, will I be leaving this meeting as green-gilled as our Lord Commander?" He had not spoken of what had happened to anyone, but his actions had spoken clearly for him. Her hands clasped behind her, standing tall and proud, she looked as comfortable as a cat, but did not feel it at all. She blinked, slowly and thoughtfully. "Is this about your men?" She asked, one eyebrow raised. Of her deceits, it was the safest to raise this first as he certainly knew of it, and to her it carried no harm. So late in the evening she had approached a few of his men, one by one, and offered them each something they desired. And each, in turn, had said no, even as the offers had stacked. At the end of the night, she'd thanked them for her time and bid them goodnight. In the morning, ripping a dead man's clothes while trying to remain perfectly silent, she wished she had succeeded.

“Hardly,” he doubted such antics would work on Lady Florent. Too smart by half. “Sometimes we have to make hard decisions to get honest answers.” Fane regretted the things he’d had to do of late, the were extra burdens that weighed heavy on him. Unfortunately, to get to the truth it sometimes meant crossing lines you might not otherwise have crossed. Still, it had got him information at least. There was also the fact that regardless of how much he might wish to charge straight in, there were certain privileges afforded to nobles that others might not have. Which made getting answers all the more difficult and frustrating. Like trying to swim upstream with your hands bound. The tides were against him on this, and Fane wasn’t daft enough not to acknowledge it.

“Aye, in part,” he answered moving further into the chamber and nodding to the chair indicating that she should take it. Equally, Fane moved to assume one opposite. “If you have questions of me or mine ask them to my face, not behind my back. I don’t appreciate my position being undermined by those around me.”

“Is that not how all things are justified?” Ciara returned smoothly. “I jest. I understand well how important taking unsavoury steps is in solving issues the for the greater good.” Ciara’s hands were blood stained because exactly that. Serving lord Sharma even before he’d known it.

She took her seat at directed, leaning forward on to learn as listen, but not improperly

so. He sat too, so he was not looming over her. Of course, there were many ways to establish power over someone, he did not need to look down on her to do so. “To undermine you was never my intent, as it had never been, inquisitor, just as I made no moves to undermine High Raj Sharma. But the truth is a fickle thing. As is trust. It is my job to be suspicious, and to notice things within the ranks of the working classes that others do not.”

“We have to tell ourselves some lie to live with our actions,” but as she admitted, she would know better than most how true that particular statement was, wouldn’t she? Fane leaned back in his seat propping his elbows on the armrests and steepling his fingers.

“Perhaps not, and I have little doubt you sail whichever tides suit you best, I may be many things but I am not foolish enough to trust you m’lady.” His tone was mild, posture otherwise relaxed “if my men had proven disloyal, how many more opportunities would that offer up? Perhaps many, perhaps none, but give an inch and people will take far much more from you. That, I cannot allow.” His features grew grim, “I wish to work with you, not against you and I cannot see what reason I may have given you to doubt my intentions. I ask you, do you really even care who killed the Raj?” The question hung in the air between them extending into the silence, “knowledge is power, and I think you know much more of it than you have shared with me thus far. My purpose is justice,” his head cocked fractionally, eyes narrowing as he posed his question, “I ask you Lady Florent, what is yours? ”

The more he spoke, the tenser she sat, her eyes narrowing into slits and hands dropping to her lap. Ciara clenched her jaw and sat more upright still, and let that silence extend until it was so long and thin it could have sliced them both in half. “You are not foolish enough to trust me but I am fool for seeing reason to distrust you?” She asked, and her voice was low and sharp as that silence had been.

“What was your purpose here, then, before the Raj died?” She asked, but it was rhetorical. They both knew the official, formal answer he could give her. “Mine is what it always has been since the Cloverry named him, since I helped lead the crown tour which secured his place as Raj, since not one week ago when I knelt for him. I do not recall kneeling for you, lest you forget yourself, Inquisitor.” All of it calm and quiet as ice and not once did she look away, and did not answer any other question. She would not lower herself to intimidation.

Where she sat more upright, growing tenser by the second Fane’s posture remained lax, observant and curious. It seemed in his opinion that he may have touched upon a nerve. “Now you spin words and put them in my mouth so that I might choke on cotton, I called you no fool, I asked what reason I have given for you to distrust me? By extension, what it is I might do to have you see the cause I serve is just?”

“My purpose was simple, to pledge my allegiance to the peace.” He sighed pressing his steepled fingers together, “and no doubt you wonder what reason I give you to trust me, I understand, and rightly so you have no reason to believe me… Words are wind, but if you need measure of my interest in bloodshed look at the recent wars.” They had been well documented after all, and his was not a House that had dealt in civil strife. “My interests are with keeping my people protected. War regardless how distant it might be, serves me no use. My lands are vast enough that I need not more and my region’s construction export wealth enough that I lust not after other treasures.” His were and always had been a simple people, or relatively simple needs. “The Driftwood princes pride themselves on their navy, you pride yourself on your cunning and ability to play the game of the capital, I pride myself on my integrity.”

Her words were frustrating but Fane chose not to let it seep into his posture, though his lips were cast in a frown. “I ask you not to kneel for me Lady Florent, I ask for your help” where his voice had grown a fraction tighter in his impatience with the circles they drew and danced about one another he exhaled, long and winded. He was tired, tired of pandering and wasting time on something that hardly mattered. Closing his eyes he pinched the bridge of his nose, weary with the word games and shifting sands. When he lifted his gaze to look at her his eyes were less harsh but no less determined in their belief and when he spoke it was with the conviction of a man that truly believed the truth of what he said. “I ask you to help me find the murderer of an innocent man, that you chose just as many others did. Yet you resist me in avenging his death. I do not wish nor do I ever wish to fight with you or anyone else and I do not wish to fight on this. He was a good man, perhaps the only one fit for the task set before him. You’re right, perhaps I never did owe him or any other allegiance but I made an oath to protect the innocent, and that is a duty I failed in this week. I will not fail in enacting justice on his behalf.”

“These are pretty words, my lord.” Ciara said after a while. “I misspoke, I apologise.” She knew of his House’s reputation, and indeed of his own. But reputations could be curated, they gave as much a measure of a man as his bags of gold. Although it was sweet, she supposed, that he thought she took most pride in her cunning.

She stood, and paced on her side of the table, looking not to him but to the steep line of her hands. “Let us say, perhaps, that I name Prince Cardero as my suspect, and you name him to the court. Perhaps the other lords align with you, but the Forty Isles would send their fleets, and through his brother the Summerset forces would join.

“Or perhaps Queen Bellamy is the one, and in response to her execution or imprisonment everything which is terrible leaks out of that forest. The very trees would suffocate us.

“Or let us say, perhaps, that we decide the Prelate is the one who orchestrated this. He would know by the end of the hours and the people who throw us to the sharks themselves.”

Ciara paused, and looked him dead in the eye. “Or perhaps I suspect the lost Lady Parker, the one you are fond of, and you speak to her in confidence with concern. Perhaps you have an alliance with Lady Lacroy that I know not, and when I suggest her name you put that blade through my throat faster than I can gasp. ”

“Lady Cassandra, the young Lord Cardero, some unknown Knight, the priestess who impresses more with every moment that she speaks. There is no one in this castle who is not in some way entangled with another. No name you could accuse without starting a new war. No, perhaps lord Pettaline, but he has not the means.”

She tilted her head, and rested her hands on the back of the chair she had just been seated on. “So no, my Lord. You speak pretty words, and perhaps they are as true as they claim to be. But you cannot serve justice and peace. I cannot be compelled to trust you with so little time, and truth be told, in what you offer, I see only death.”

Fane was silent as she paced and spoke her piece. She was right, and he knew she was right. Pointing a finger and laying blame would do no good unless you have unanimous support. One hand fell to the arm rest while he pressed the other to his face. “And so we should let the person responsible for destroying that tenuous hope of peace walk free?” All for what? “And what if that person, who walks free by our own permission ends up being selected the next High Raj or murders them also? So on and so forth. What kind of peace is that?”

His posture sank at the position they were placed in, an impossible choice. Peace or yet more bloodshed?

The decision wasn’t his, and yet in a way it was.

He dragged his palm slowly over his jaw, his eyes growing unfocussed as he looked to the wall. As if its solid bricks might offer any sort of insight into the answer to their question. “Must the answer for death be death? A punishment must be given, but it does not have to be bloodshed or execution. There are other alternatives.” Fane pushed to his feet, leaning his knuckles on the table and looking over at her insistent. “Help me to find a way that will serve both… I do not wish to see an innocent person blamed for a crime they didn’t commit… If there is anyone capable of finding an answer to that question they are stood before me. Aye, perhaps you do not have faith in me, but I’m willing to take that chance and put my faith in you. But to find the answer we must determine who is responsible… I have some answers, and I have no doubt you do too…”

“Not free, no. They will not have the time to create so elaborate a trap without being caught for the next one, they will have to bide their time, lest they lose every advantage they have stood to gain by their subterfuge. We bide our time also. With patience. These House Games take place over lifetimes, not days.”

“It is peace for the people. To them it hardly matters who as long as they can live in relative safety. A Raj gives them stability.”

He stood, and she smiled knowingly, sympathetically. His clothes were well made but simple. “Exile? Forcing them to remain in their home? Stripping them of titles? All of it will result in war. Not with tensions and alliances like this.” She tilted her head, the scars on her face catching in the light. “When my husband was murdered, the only way to end the war with the family that killed him was to eradicate them. Woman, child, bastard. All extinct. No one wishes to see that repeated.”

She straightened, clasped her hands together. “I respect your obstinance, my Lord, but it does not change my mind. Is there anything else?”

“And yet you are willing to submit us to the risk of being ruled by a tyrant, no matter for how long, you might be able to live with such terms Lady Florent but I shall not.” Fane’s fingers curled on the table that he leaned on. No politeness masking how he felt presently. Disappointed but not disillusioned. If truth brings war, then so be it. Truth will out. No matter the means.

Her smile only served to sicken and enrage him more. A part of him wanted to turn the table on end, but what use would it do? To throw a fit of rage would only serve to weaken his position further than it already had. Tension rippled through his tall frame and he had to slowly expel it in the act of pushing himself back and rocking to his feet. “You can’t know they’ll end in war, you are many things m’lady but you are not a seer.”

A part of him wished to retort, but he opted instead to bite his tongue. He took measure of her and the situation at hand. Nothing he could say would change the way of things it would appear, “from you, it would appear not. But do not think I will forget this Lady Florent, and if we happen to live to see the monster of your own creation… Pray the gods have mercy.” He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but thought better of it. Grimacing he afforded her the degree of a small and rather forced dip of his head before giving her a pointed look and leaving the room feeling as though he’d much rather be eviscerated on the spot than spend a moment longer with her in his company.

Ciara nodded, absorbing his righteous anger entirely as he restrained himself masterfully. He rose, and she nodded at his next truth. She was no seer. This was true. Nor was he. Nor did she believe him entirely - she hadn’t spoken her full truth and expected him to have kept something back too.

The monster of her own creation. Ciara swallowed and raised her chin as he turned, and dipped her head too. She blinked and sagged as he left, cradling her face in her hands. Whose gods, she wanted to ask. Hers, the Trinity, or the Sea God, or the Cloverry? As she stared at the tapestry that dangled beside the door, there was only one who she wanted the mercy from.

Because in truth, when it came to finding Avitej’s killer, it was not justice she wanted, but revenge. Only her fealty to the dead Raj mattered more.

#got scene

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destiny-smasher · 5 years

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Kingdom Hearts 3 impressions

So, uh, I will ONLY be talking about stuff up until the very start of the second World, and only AFTER the break. Kingdom Hearts 1 was an incredibly important and influential piece of media when I was growing up. I was writing fic based on Smash Bros. just before KH rolled onto the scene was like, “Yo, Disney and Final Fantasy, BAM, fuckin’ random? fucking RADDDD” and I was all about it. You had FF characters remixed with OCs remixed with Disney characters, and the villains were all crossing over to form the League of Bad Cartoons, it was a great time. And then Nomura realized his gamble was a win and decided to waste the next 15 years of everyone’s time shoving in every trope he liked, every IDEA that felt “cool” together into a mish mash of whatever the hell this “narrative” has become. Suffice it to say, I’ve got beef with Kingdom Hearts as a “story.” It just occurred to me today that a big part of this is thematic/tonal.

But it’s also VERY rare, maybe even unprecedented, for a piece of media like Kingdom Hearts 3 to come around. For years, then months, then weeks, then days, I told myself, “It’s not real, that game doesn’t exist, I won’t believe it until I’m literally playing it” and just could not be bothered to be hype or interested, if only because Nomura’s “vision”, from my perspective, warped something I admired in my youth into a fucking train wreck, leaving me very little to feel emotionally invested in outside of Aqua and by proxy the two lads she is trying to protect. (also I GUESS I’m slightly invested in Axel/Xion/Roxas.../Namine? for similar reasons now that I think about it?) Well, guess what? Kingdom Hearts VERY WELL might be real, and I very well might be about three hours into it. And for all of the beef I have with the plot, I am fucking relieved that those three hours have felt/sounded good, as a video game. NOW we’re gonna talk about the first World. --

When I first heard that Olympus was gonna be the first World in KH3 I was disappointed and BAFFLED. We’re visiting that place a THIRD time? And why THAT World? Turns out, there’s actually some substantial thematic relevance and that’s actually A-OK, not to mention that starting with a familiar world after ALL OF THIS TIME is not such a bad way to kick things off. First off, structurally, I actually really enjoyed the way this world played out. Two of my biggest problems with KH as a video game series have been that worlds feel like empty, vacant, haunted houses, and that said worlds are usually small and linear with a lot of pointless backtracking. Olympus fixes all of this. There are NPCs. Actual fucking PEOPLE in this world. Sure, they’re just people in danger, calling for help, but they’re THERE for once! And they have vocies! EVERY line of dialogue (except for like one “plot” moment) has actually been voiced so far! About time. Also. This World is not as linear as most KH Worlds. In fact, it help more open and dynamic than ANY World in any KH game so far, not to mention it featured three, THREE (wtf) unique and distinct types of settings. The city, the mountain, and Olympus. Nice. ALSO also. The music. We’ve been here before. We KNOW that Olympus theme from earlier games. And as you traverse the city, up the mountain, you hear this more sweeping, movie-like version, and it’s like “oh whoa nice” aaaaand then you get TO Olympus and it KICKS in, the old song, up to modern snuff. That was great. That was a thing that really helped convey “Kingdom Hearts is back, baby.” The World was big, compared to typical KH worlds. It had multiple nooks and crannies to explore, side-paths to go down, treasure to find hidden away. There is a LOT of verticality. Running up walls and seamlessly hopping over things in the environment makes traversal more enjoyable than it ever has been. Even though a lot of the World is technically a linear path it’s not structured like a path. Going off and exploring rewards you with items and the like, and the World is big enough to actually feel like you have places to poke around in. Having said this, WHY is there no...map? Like. You literally COLLECT Maps from Chests like you used to. But near as I can tell, there’s no way to pull up an actual MAP, to seer where the main path is, to see where the side paths are. It’s boggling. Maybe the game has the option hidden away somewhere but if so, that’s just silly. And if there’s just no actual map option at ALL that’s just...baffling. There were barely any load times for how much SPACE there was to navigate, and things looked very shiny and pretty, and ran at a smooth 60 fps MOST of the time. Tech specs aren’t everything, but when your brand is built on “looking pretty” it sure af helps when you bring scale AND a smooth framerate to match. It’s weird, and a bit jarring, sometimes in a good way, to see all of this stuff rendered in modern tech. Stuff looks...a little too plasticy a lot of the time, (which actually ought to pay off when we get to Toy Story?) but the environments so far feel rich and vast and detailed all at once in a way we just have never seen the series, because we’re basically jumping from PS2-level tech to PS4. So that difference in production is more noticeable for the wait -- I just wish things looked a bit more...I guess cel-shaded? Like the original trailer. Things (specifically, characters) look a little too flat/plasticy at times, for how pretty things are. Combat seems to be as flashy as ever and I’m sure I’ll feel differently as I get further in and unlock more options but it’s still too easy, simple, and mashy for my tastes. I am HOPING we get more moments that require quick reflexes and specific tactics like the harder moments of older KH games. The amusement rides mechanic is...weird. It’s given NO context in universe. And they last a little too long/feel too overpowered for how easy they are to utilize. Similarly, there are frequently seemingly random party-member tag-team attacks that...just seem like “press triangle to win” moves. I wish they entailed more interaction, and/or felt less common/random. I like the IDEA of these kinds of moves, especially ones that change your controls/method of attack for a few seconds (like Hercules’ team attack) but the execution makes them feel too cheap and easy to abuse, with combat that’s ALREADY skewing on the “too easy” side for the genre. I like the “form change” for keyblades, and that you can swap keyblades in the middle of a fight. Really hoping this allows for some good tactical stuff later -- buuuuut that would also require the game to ASK OF ME to do more than “mash X,” which KH as a brand typically does not do... Characters SPEAK in reaction to gameplay moments, when you initiate things in the environment, etc. It’s a nice touch that makes them feel more like characters in an RPG. Donald and Goofy are ALWAYS in the party, alongside the Disney member(s). NICE. Maybe KH3 is putting its best foot forward, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised with Olympus. It single-handedly corrected MOST of the issues I’ve ever had with Kingdom Hearts level design. I only hope the momentum keeps going. Moving on, Gummi Ships. What little I played is easily the best they have every been. I love having an open world with optional places/fights to explore, while still giving me those shmup-like bursts of action. The Gummi Phone seems like a fun mechanic, and taking selfies/photos makes SENSE for this game because of how visually detailed it is -- but the pleasant surprise was how I took selfies with Donald and Goofy and they REACTED to it, starting to pose and commenting on it. On the other hand, the loading screen being nonsensical “social media” posts from KH characters...I don’t like it thanks go away. x’D I’ve spent only a few minutes in Twilight Town and INSTANTLY I am so much more enamored than I ever was in previous games. Not just due to the bump up in visual fidelity, but also because -- GASP -- NPCs??? Are you trying to tell me this is an actual TOWN that people LIVE IN?? Holy shit, Kingdom Hearts, I never knew! For all of this stuff I liked, though, KH3 is still...a KH game. Which means after you get through the intro, after you gear up to land in Olympus, the game flashes the title: “Kingdom Hearts II.9″ ...no. Just no. Fuck. Stop doing this shit. Whenever an Organization 13 member (or EX member) shows up and starts speaking all cocky in riddles like the flamboyant anime jackass they are, whenever Mickey starts dead-ass blathering about weird nonsense whenever the plot HAS to acknowledge “oh right Sora golly gawrsh ya FURRGOT this random bullshit a-FYUCK better shove this expository throwaway dialogue right in here before we go n’ furrget again!” whenever Kairi continues to be irrelevant and invisible after ALL THIS TIME whenever Rikku has to say some obligatory thing about his darkness or his copy of himself or Ansem or whatever whenever the plot informs Sorta/Dornold/Goffy about another convoluted ridiculous THING that we already know about and they MAYBE already know about because it is OBLIGATED to because this game’s entire purpose has become to “wrap things up already Nomura” I am reminded of the freshly opened scar on my heart from how much SHIT this series has dragged itself through for...what? Nothing worth all of this, IMO. Thankfully, these moments feel less and less pressing in KH3′s opening hours than they certainly could be, though I’m sure the closing hours of the game -- once they’ve tidily gotten all of that silly, inconsequential DISNEY CONTENT out of the way (even though that’s the BULK of the game environments and HALF of the series’ identity/purpose) -- those closing hours will surely be packed to the gills with all of this crazy crap. Maybe by then I might finally care enough to finally get the catharsis I’ve waited over a decade for. I dunno. I’m just relieved the game looks, plays, sounds, and feels as good as it does so far. EDIT: almost forgot to mention this since it hasn’t actually come up yet BUT I picked up a BUNCH of “ingredients”??? Like. FOR COOKING??? Which is one of my all-time favorite mechanics in a video game?? (thanks Paper Mario) So I’m at LEAST excited to see what THAT is all about.

#KH3 #Kingdom Hearts 3

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monsters-conquer-the-world · 6 years

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10 Games

For Jack’s 10th birthday, Will got him a RetroPie. Pretty cool, especially since it’s so easy to just dump a zillion games in there and let the kid go nuts. But that’s a one-way ticked to analysis paralysis, so Will had a a super sick idea. He asked me and Jess and some other friends to put together a list of 10 must-play classic/retro games and write a little bit about why we chose them. As someone who loves video games and writing and lists, I was ALL ‘BOUT THAT.

Now that Jack’s birthday has come and gone, I can share all the junk I wrote about these ten games that mean so much to me! Check it out:

I love this idea. I know the initial prompt was just "pick your favorites" but I couldn't help but impose a bunch of additional caveats. I know where this list is headed (and I have a pretty good idea of what games will pop up on the other lists)! I could have easily listed off 10 Super NES games or 10 N64 games, but I wanted to hit a variety of consoles and franchises. I would have liked to have hit a variety of genres and studios too, but I can't lie: I love platformers, and I love games by Nintendo. It was challenging but rewarding to shave this list down to ten--a lot of old favorites and recent discoveries couldn't fit on the list, leaving these few. The ones I've always treasured, the ones that stuck with me, the ones I memorized the music and sound effects to, starring the characters I love, exploring the worlds I wanted to live in. Maybe you'll dig 'em too.

NES

Super Mario Bros. 3

I had spent some quality time with our Atari 2600 well before we ever had an NES in the house. I have fond memories of playing but not really understanding Pac-Man, Haunted House, and the bleak nuclear apocalypse masterpiece Missile Command. But the first game I really wrapped my head around was Super Mario Bros. (and Duck Hunt, but that's not as relevant!). Mario and Luigi's multi-screen adventures under a friendly blue sky expanded my concept of what a video game could even be--plus it was super fun, and Rochelle and I could both play it together! Super Mario Bros. 2 was technically more impressive, but so weird (and flanked by so many similar games) that it didn't rock my world like Mario 1 did (though I of course have a huge soft spot for it anyway). Then Super Mario Bros. 3 came along and Mario had learned how to fly. It was bigger, more beautiful, and stuffed to the brim with secrets and surprises! It was so exciting even Mom and Dad would play it with us. Super Mario World is maybe the bigger, better, beautifuler game (and you can ride a FREAKING DINOSAUR), but I'll never forget the day I woke up to find my dad and sister playing this in the living room because we finally owned it. It was too good to just keep renting! Kid Icarus

I didn't catch Kid Icarus the first time around. I didn't even play it until high school, but I was inspired to track it down because of my love for Greek mythology and the Metroid series. Kid Icarus takes place in a world heavily inspired by (but still distinctly different from) the swords, sandals, and sorcery epics of ancient Greece! It's considered a "sister game" to the original Metroid, released around the same time by the same team, and the game shares a lot of the core elements that make Metroid so unique and awesome: eerily lonely, dangerous worlds to explore, a challenging beginning, player-empowering character growth, and a focus on exploring vast, often vertically-scrolling worlds with satisfying run'n'gun'n'jump gameplay. Kid Icarus borrows all the best stuff from Metroid, but tempers it with a slate of unique design choices: instead of one sprawling world, KI is split into discrete levels. The first world is an ascent out of Hades with vertically oriented levels, the second world is a horizontal trek across the surface world, the third is another vertical ascent into the sky, and the finale is a horizontal, forced-scrolling shoot-em-up to reclaim the heavens! Every fourth level is a sprawling, maze-like, Metroid-ish dungeon, capped off with a frantic boss fight! Plus, Eggplant Wizards, credit cards, and RPG-style character upgrades! They don't make 'em like this anymore!! Duck Tales

It's not as groundbreaking as Super Mario Bros. 1 or as innovative as Super Mario Bros. 3, but that doesn't change the fact that Duck Tales could possibly be my favorite NES platformer of all time. You don't need to know anything about or even like the original cartoon (or the comic books that birthed it) to appreciate the challenging charms of this hop'n'bop classic. Duck Tales only has a handful of levels, but they're huge, full of hidden treasures, packed with alternate paths, swiss cheesed with secret passageways, and just gorgeous translations of Disney's lush cartoon worlds. Getting to choose your own path through Duck Tales' roster of big beautiful worlds is reminiscent of the Mega Man games (also by Capcom). What really sets Duck Tales apart is controlling Scrooge. He's spry for a septuagenarian billionaire, but his real talents lie in swinging and pogo-sticking off his cane! It's delightful cartoon nonsense, but if you get the hang of it, it's also incredibly satisfying, allowing you to make some wild, death-defying maneuvers. If you dig this and find yourself hungering for more bounce-centric gameplay, Shovel Knight takes Scrooge's cane, turns it into a shovel, and builds a deeply satisfying modern classic around it. Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze finally gives Cranky a chance to shine as a playable character, and he straight-up jock's Scrooge's style, cane and all. It rules.

Super NES

Yoshi's Island

The first thing you'll notice about Yoshi's Island is that it looks like it was drawn with crayons, markers, and colored pencils! The second thing you'll notice is that Mario is a freaking baby! It's an odd premise, but it all comes together in perhaps the best sidescroller ever made. With Mario mustache-less and diaper-clad, this game puts you directly in control of Yoshi, and he is a joy to play as. Hovering to extend his jump power, turning enemies into eggs and chucking them, and butt-stomping are Yoshi's primary tools of the trade, and they mix things up nicely. This doesn't feel like "just another Mario," but it also feels right at home in the Mario pantheon. Beyond the Yosh-man's most basic maneuvers, there are some wild power-ups that turn Yoshi into a helicopter, a train that zips along in the background, a mole-tank, and more, plus special areas where Baby Mario gets superpowers and runs up walls and stuff! Yoshi's Island is another magical micro-world, jam-packed with extremely clever and fun level design and very possibly the biggest and best boss fights of all time. Ya gotta play this one.

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong-Quest

I know I just talked about Yoshi's Island maybe being the best platformer of all time, but Donkey Kong Country 2 is right behind it, nipping at its heels. DKC2 has a wildly different aesthetic, dropping you into beautifully computer-rendered pirate shipwrecks, janky-but-glitzy night time carnival rides, endless bramble patches, a skyscraper-sized beehive, haunted forests, and more! They're not just beautiful to look at, but beautiful to listen to, because DKC2 features one of the all-time greatest video game soundtracks. Maybe the greatest. But this game ain't just another pretty face!

DKC2, like Super Mario Bros. 3 and Duck Tales, is stuffed to the gills with tricky little secrets and hidden areas and surprises. This game doesn't just have secret levels, it has a secret WORLD. This game doesn't just have a secret world, it has an entire secret ENDING. The classically solid platforming is accompanied by a wealth of mine cart challenges, awesome animal buddies, mini-games, and enough level design variety to keep you coming back for every last hidden treasure.

Super Metroid

Super Metroid doesn't just have secrets, it has mysteries. This was the first game to ever actually scare me. The first one to ever creep me out. And that just made me want to play it even more. It feels lonely and dangerous. Unlike the games earlier on this list, it is one HUGE and continuous world. It is a world of incomprehensible alien horrors, ancient moldering ruins, and high-tech space-faring bio-terrorists. This world, named Zebes, is a world where the sky continuously rains acid and almost every living thing inhabiting it wants to kill you. Good thing you're Samus Aran, the toughest, smartest bounty hunter to ever clean up Space Pirate scum!

Samus explores this acid-drenched nightmare planet by running, gunning, and jumping... but also by solving puzzles and thinking her way out of traps. With each power up she gets a little stronger, and can find her way deeper into this gnashing alien hellscape. It's a game that is sadly beautiful just as often as it is ghoulish. The story, simple and sketched-in as it is, is also deeper and more moving than you will ever expect. The boss fights are as massive, memorable, and epic as the ones in Yoshi's Island, but about a thousand times more intense and frightening. The music perfectly sets the dark, burbling mood of each region of Zebes, and by the end of the game you will feel like the most powerful hero in the galaxy. This mix of sci-fi, horror, and adventure isn't just a must-play, it's a life-changer.

Gameboy Color

Wario Land II

I love the Mario series, but I'm also absolutely crazy about Wario. He's a fat, greedy, chaotic, prideful, disgusting, bull-headed oaf. He's the polar opposite of Mario... and that's why I love him! He's not exactly a villain, but he's a definitely a troublemaker, and it is hilariously fun to walk (or stumble!) a mile or three in his shoes. The game before this, Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land is a ton of fun (as is Super Mario Land 2 before it!), but Wario Land II is the first one that truly feels like a Wario game. What makes this game so different? Wario can't be killed!

You read that right, there's (almost) no way to actually "die" in this game! No way to lose lives. That might sound too easy, or boring, or both, but it's not! Wario might be unkillable, but all KINDS of bad stuff can and WILL still happen to him. A LOT. He'll get flattened, set on fire, trapped in bubbles, fattened up, frozen, drunk, zombified, and more! And here's the kicker: those wacky conditions are required to solve the puzzles and challenges of each level! On top of that ingenious and perfectly wacky set of game mechanics, the story branches off in wildly different directions: you'll blow up the annoying alarm clock in your castle, play street basketball against a giant bunny, be nice to a chicken, visit Atlantis, race through a weird world of mouths, noses, and eyes, and more! There are multiple endings, multiple hidden exits, and multiple secret treasures and minigames to find and conquer. Almost all of the Wario Land and Wario Ware games are oddball masterpieces, but WLII is the perfect balance of weird, smart, funny, and challenging.

Nintendo 64

Super Mario 64

This is it. This is the game. In 1996, when I was in sixth grade, Super Mario 64 was the only thing I cared about. I begged and wished and hoped for a Nintendo 64 that Christmas, but it didn't come. I was crushed. Occasionally I was able to rent an N64 and Super Mario 64, and I'd lose whole days to this magical, miraculous game. When I couldn't rent it, I'd bug my classmates about it endlessly. "What level are you on? What's that level like? What stars can you get? What secrets have you found?" They'd answer a few of my ravenous, bug-eyed questions before getting uncomfortable and leaving to do something else. What was the big deal? Why was I (and still am) so obsessed?

The leap from Super Nintendo to Nintendo 64 was like the leap from console and computer games to virtual reality. But instead of short, funny minigames, it is a huge, sprawling world where anything seems possible. A magical, secret garden full of surprises, wonder, challenges, and secrets. Where the sun always shines in a cloudless sky... except when you plunge into the death-defying Bowser levels or the inappropriately terrifying Big Boo's Haunt. Oh Mario can definitely fly in this one like he did in Super Mario Bros. 3, but just the simple act of running around in circles and jumping through 3D space felt like a joyous miracle... one that puts 2-dimensional flight to shame. Each world (accessed by jumping INTO paintings in Princess Peach's sprawling but empty castle) is colorful, full of possibility, and chock full of distinct personality. Adventuring through 3D space for the first time ever was incredible on its own, but doing it in such richly detailed, lovingly crafted worlds made me want to play there forever. I still do.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Take everything I just said about Super Mario 64 and multiply it by ten! Well, sort of. Ocarina of Time took the lessons learned from Super Mario 64 and applied them to the dungeon-crawling, puzzle-solving Legend of Zelda series. The result was an incredibly groundbreaking game that I cherished almost as zealously as Super Mario 64. I don't think it's aged as well, but I don't care. Ocarina of Time is a grand story, spanning seven years (!!!) and the entire fantastical country of Hyrule. As Link, you jump forward and back through time, meet strange and wonderful new friends, discover hidden kingdoms, face the blood-soaked evil of Hyrule's past, save its future, outwit cunning puzzles and traps, steal and ride a magnificent horse, challenge towering, Super Metroid-style end bosses, wield magical weapons, break hearts, play beautiful music, and go fishing. It's an entire, epic fantasy life in one little cartridge.

This was the first Zelda game I ever spent SERIOUS time with, and the fact that it plays like a fantasy-fueled hybrid of Super Mario 64 and Super Metroid means I've lost entire days to it. I've played it start to finish at least 8 or 9 times. It never gets boring. Like Super Mario 64, Ocarina of Time invented how we make and play 3D games. This was the first 3D game where you could lock onto enemies and points of interest, plus a bevy of other camera controls that come standard in 3D games now (or at least they did for about a decade after Ocarina's release). The story is surprisingly cinematic and even gripping at times. You'll want to live in this world. You'll be sad when you see the end credits. Not because of the ending itself, but because there's no more game for you to play... until you start it all over again on the next save file.

Star Fox 64

Star Fox 64 was a life-changing event for me, just like Super Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time. So is Star Fox 64 a slow-paced, exploration heavy adventure into beautiful and fantastical solitude like those other two games? N O P E. It's a guns-blazin', fast action, dogfightin', barrel rollin', rock'em sock'em intergalactic action epic in supersonic spaceships! Piloted by talking animals! That actually talk! YES!

Instead of the wide-open freedom of Super Mario 64 and Ocarina of TIme, Star Fox 64 either puts you on (invisible) rails in a forced-scrolling attack run or in a contained 3D arena. Here's the kicker though, the levels are all so perfectly designed and the action is so expertly paced that you never feel restricted. You're too busy racking up kill combos, saving your wingmen, and navigating through flying, burning space debris and buildings and asteroids and terrain to think about what you can't do. And even on rails, Star Fox 64 gives you ways to explore! Most levels have multiple exits and there are a whole mess of different, branching paths through the entire, war-torn Lylat system. The game is designed to be played start to finish in a single sitting, but experimenting with repeat playthroughs is the only way to experience everything this laser-blazing action classic has to offer. On top of all that, it's got a great story, iconic, meme-worthy dialogue, and an absolutely banging soundtrack. It might not have changed the face of interactive entertainment like Super Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time, but it delivered the ultimate shoot'em up space adventure.

#Super Apartment Friends #video games #mario #Metroid #zelda #NES #SNES #N64 #Nintendo

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