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pennyfynotes · 6 years

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8.2.18 // 4:30pm // school subjects and AP exams oh my

so i recently (ok not so recently i’m sorry super busy rn) got an ask from an anon about subject specific tips and ap exams. this is the masterpost i told you to look out for ;). there are no ap exams in college, but some of the stuff is still applicable. i did my best to be as comprehensive as possible and dump everything in one place. hope this is helpful! xoxo, m ps. guess where the actual tips are? if you said “under the cut” then you’re right bc i’m predicable af

tips by subject:

languages (i took spanish): 1. flashcards are your friend. i don’t care if they’re digital (would recommend quizlet or studyblue) or paper, but they help immensely with either vocab or things like remembering literature.

2. charts are also your friend. conjugations giving you a hard time? write out a chart of the different tenses and the conjugations for each subject. put down some of the irregulars too.

3. acronyms/pnemonics are also also your friend. a lot of these already exist, you just have to go find them. i’m pretty sure i still remember what “wedding” stands for for the spanish subjunctive.

4. it’s ok to start over. it’s easy to start a sentence based on what you’d say in english. you’re doing fine until *bam* you hit that word/phrase you really need but you have no clue how to say it. whether it’s an oral or written exam, take a few seconds to think about it and, if you can’t figure it out, just back track. restart the sentence and rework it. better to do that than to lose all your time thinking of one word you may or may not know.

5. skirt around things. if you can’t remember how to say fridge but you really need to say it for something, just say “machine that keeps food cold” or something. it might sound silly, but it gets the point across and removes the road block.

6. make a list. no, not a to do list. if there’s phrases you find yourself reaching for all the time, but you can never remember, make a list of them and their translations. it might be because its a phrase/part of a sentence structure you use a lot in your native language or whatever. make that list and drill just those few phrases into your head. it’s helpful

english/language arts: 1. proofread. i guarantee you’ll find a mistake, a sentence that makes no sense, or one that just sounds cringy. thank me later.

2. have a damn thesis. its ok if you just need to write and spit words/ideas out for a while to figure it out. but figure it out.

3. conclusion ~= introduction. for those of you who didn’t get the tilde, it means not. yes, they both tie your points to your thesis but they are not to same. do not just reword the same information in the conclusion. push your ideas just a little further. i usually like the push them a little bit outside the realm of what i talked about in my paper. for example, if i focused on the first 5 chapters of the book in the rest of my paper, i’ll expand the ideas to the rest of the book. or if i’m talking about female characters and focus on just one or two, i’ll use the conclusion to potentially connect it to another.

4. have favorites. pick a few fav transitions, sentence structures, and fancy vocab words. basically build a toolbox. this way you won’t have to think as hard when you want to “spice up” your work.

5. summaries only go so far. once you get to higher level english classes, there will be a lot of analysis of specific imagery, or wording, or dialogue. reading cliff notes is only going to give you the plot and none of this. if you don’t have time to read and you’ve been assigned a pretty standard english novel/play/whatever, take the time to look up some famous quotes or symbols. they’ll probably come up in discussion and this will help you look less unprepared.

6. have on question/comment ready. if your teacher/prof is into discussions and grades on participation, it’s handy to write down one (or a few) things. it’s easy to forget what you were going to say while you follow the discussion and it sucks to get docked points for not saying anything. even if it’s just a thoughtful question, jot it down.

history: 1. lol prob my weakest subject, just go see the apush (ap us history) section bc i don’t have much more for you than that.

science: 1. back to basics. i say it all the time, i’ll say it again. really understand basic concepts. they will come back. i’m serious.

2. pattern recognition. science problems are often times about recognizing patterns. once you identify the type of problem it is, even if you’ve never seen the exact one/something similar before, solving it becomes way easier.

3. make a recipe book. tied to the last one, but once you recognize a type of problem, you need steps to solve it. go through any practice problems you’re given to determine all the “types” of problems. once you’ve categorized them, make yourself a step-by-step guide on how to solve.

4. flashcards. you’ll have to know polyatomic ions or random biology facts. see languages tip #1 for more.

5. note your errors in lab. if you do something wrong, don’t just try to brush it under the table and forget about it. not that it’s a big deal, because its not, so don’t freak out. they’re just great opportunities to note sources of error. i mean obviously dont write in your lab report that you weren’t paying attention and mixed the wrong chemicals, but something like “we may not have waited sufficient time for the product to dry” can explain why you got 800% yield.

6. have a toolkit. kinda like a recipe book, but just a collection of straight facts that come up often. knowing common molecular weights and chemical properties (is ammonia acidic or basic?) will make things go faster. like i said earlier, polyatomic ions are also great.

7. brush up on some simple arithmetic. similar to the tool kit, this will just make things go faster. being able to quickly add things and calculate easy percentages (ex: 30%) will make things like hw and exams go faster. i’m of the opinion it’s always good to know how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide w/o a calculator (on paper, not all in your head)

bonus: math #5 and #7

math: 1. see science #1

2. see science #2

3. see science #3

4. see science #4. see a pattern here? you might wonder why you need to flashcard math, but it’s good for learning equations or the names of certain techniques. if the prof asks you to solve something using X technique and you don’t know what that is, that’s gonna pose a problem. also good for the unit circle (don’t get me started)

5. figure out your speed. this is applicable to most everything, but i find it most relevant for math. is it better for you to speed through the whole exam and then do it all again/check it over 2x? or for you to take it slow so you know you got everything right the first time? personally i use the first approach, but i’m a fast taker and prefer to have time to process between repeating problems instead of staring at it forever once and never looking again.

6. science #7. a lot of teachers will expect you to be able to do this.

7. go over the material a couple times. also applicable to everything. i find it’s easier to remember things when i know that concepts are connected. you might have learned X 3 weeks before Y, but if you go back over, you might realize they’re closely related. this will help you if you’re not sure on a test because you can reason through things using the connections you’ve drawn

tips by ap course (obv look at the subject above bc i will be giving *really specific stuff* here that i’ve gathered from experience. they’re also ordered by when i took them, sorry it’s not super logical but i didn’t want to forget one)

general ap course/exam tips: 1. practice exams. you need to be familiar with what will/will not show up. you don’t always need to simulate and real testing situation, but i’d recommend doing at least 1-2 that way. also *know how many questions they’re are you so can pace yourself!!!!*

2. college board is pretty good about giving topic breakdowns. use those. go through and figure out what topics you’re solid on and which need more work. the above tip is to help decipher what the topics actually mean bc it can be confusing.

3. give the free response a quick flip through. do the ones you’re confident on first.

4. make sure you know the policies/what you can bring. don’t want to forget something. also once our test administrator tried to stop us 10 minutes early, but we were on top of our shit and all gave her a death glare bc we knew when we were supposed to finish.

ap chemistry: 1. polyatomic ions and molecular weights. know them

2. chapter/section reviews (in addition to class notes) and how-to guides. my teacher made us make them and let’s just say your girl did *really* well (and i’m damn proud of that one)

3. do a quick skim of the free response. applicable to most exams but, the year i took it, they’d just remade and re-curved the exam and put *way* too many free response. like no one finished them. if that’s still the case, make sure you do the one’s you’re confident on. also, i did not get to like 3 questions and still got a 5. they may have fixed this idk. (sorry this is redundant but i wanted to give this ap chem exam specific info)

ap environmental science: 1. there is a lot of damn information here. i would use chapter outlines and pick out key terms, policies, and events etc. treat this like a history class.

2. for the exam, use common sense. most of the time, the most environmentally friendly answer is the right one. if you just have a general gist of the course and its topics, but don’t know a lot of details, go with your intuition and you should be fine. i didn’t have a lot of time to study for this one and this method worked for me.

ap calc bc: 1. memorize standard derivatives. power rule, sin and cos, chain rule. that’s important.

2. similarly, memorize standard integrals.

3. don’t forget +c for indefinite integrals. just don’t.

4. similarly, if it’s definite, don’t forget to evaluate at the end! super easy thing to do, but also super easy way to lose points if you forget.

5. if the integral looks complicated, that probably means there’s a “trick” involved. u substitution, integration by parts, trig substitution. something like that.

6. memorize some standard series’, operations, and types (arithmetic, geometric etc)

7. if you’re looking at a word problem, understand what is dependent on your variable and what isn’t (in other words, what’s a constant). for example, if it says the water flows into the barrel at 50 mL/s and flows out at 1/5 times the volume, that translate to F = 50 - (1/5)V. don’t make things more complicated by trying to write everything in terms of V (in this example). also, your equation might just be a constant term or just a variable term doesn’t have to be both.

8. know what your derivative is with respect to/what it really means. aka if your problem is talking about flow and volume, how are they related to each other? flow is the change in volume *with respect to time*. so if i differentiate volume with respect to time, i get flow. if i integrate flow with respect to time, i get volume. this also helps you make sense of word problems.

*disclaimer*: it is been 5 years since i took this class and i have taken quite a few math classes after. i apologize if i introduce anything that is a little irrelevant.

ap spanish language: 1. flashcard. like seriously. there’s gonna be vocab involved.

2. understand what’s asked. for the persuasive email. *be persuasive*

3. toolkit. i mentioned this before but this was probably the most useful for this class. our teacher gave us a bunch of fancier words to use instead of causar (to cause) because that was a word we’d need a lot. the one that still sticks with me 4 years later is fomentar. have a few alternatives for these kinds of super common words, a good greeting and closing for your email, and a set of good transitions. *make sure you know how to use them properly*

4. write stuff down during listening. you can either answer questions during the first listen, then take notes the second to catch stuff you missed or vice versa.

5. it’s ok to backtrack in the speaking. don’t let yourself get stuck and just not say anything. it’ll freak you out for the rest of the exam and will rob you from showing off what you know. also take notes of things you want to mention based off cultural knowledge of the situation related to the dialogue.

6. don’t zone out. with everything going on and all the stress, it’s easy to zone out (esp during the conversation). don’t do it or you’ll have a hard time responding and freak yourself out (again)

7. don’t lose your place in the convo! they give you a sheet that shows you how many times the other “person” will talk. i lost track and said goodbye one segment early. it was bad ok. all these conversation tips are from personal experience.

ap statistics: 1. know the different kinds of tests inside and out. know the differences and the conditions. if you’ve got that, you’re like 75% the way there.

2. be familiar with sample vs population. it’s a bit confusing, but take the time to understand.

3. ok sorry i really don’t remember anything else. this exam really isn’t that difficult (in my opinion), you’ll be ok.

ap physics c: 1. free body diagrams. understand how to draw them *and draw them*. they will carry you through mechanics. draw gravitational force, normal if there’s a surface, and then any other given forces.

2. basic equations. you get an equation sheet, but knowing the equations means you know the concepts and the relations between them. big ones are f=ma and the equations relating position (x), velocity (v), and acceleration (a). also friction f=uN.

3. *normal isn’t always the opposite direction of gravity!!!!* gravity is straight down. normal is perpendicular to the surface.

4. vector components. please don’t just add vectors. break them down into components and then add or you are so fucked.

5. get familiar with triangles. this will help with the whole component thing.

6. kirchoffs rules are so helpful. know them.

7. understand the relations between voltage/potential and current in terms of the properties of circuit elements. that means the equations for resistors, capacitors, and inductors.

8. know how to add in parallel and series. it’s important. also! if the circuit is drawn “weird” a good way to know series vs parallel is that parallel elements share two nodes and that series circuits only share 1.

9. sorry i kinda blocked out E+M bc i didn’t know what i was doing (or so i thought). i still got a 4 tho so that curve is generous.

ap us history: 1. chapter outlines. pretty self explanatory.

2. make a timeline. put important events, sentiments, policies, and presidents. if you can associate these things together into time periods it will be easier. most of the time, any one question (esp long response or whatever they’re called) will only focus on 1 time period.

3. sentiments are important. if you know nothing else, know these bc they will help guide you through questions by reasoning even if you know nothing else.

4. gilder lehrman (or similar us history summaries). these are tailor specifically to apush bc they are organized by period (i think that’s what they were called?). i actually fell asleep listening to these bc i didn’t have time to study. they were mildly helpful, but every little bit helps right?

ap psychology: 1. chapter outlines/flashcards. this course is based heavily on key terms and less so on larger concepts.

2. ok sorry i took this online i remember literally nothing except how annoying my teacher was and that the exam was easy. if you know terminology i think you should do fine.

ap biology: 1. there is a lot. go through all the topics and make sure you’re solid. start with the big picture, then think about narrowing down.

2. know how charts work. things like pedigrees, punnet squares, and evolution trees (that’s def not the right term). some of the exam will just be interpretation of this.

3. i am so sorry i remember nothing else.

ap spanish literature: 1. flashcards. title, author, time period, short summary, key elements (a line, character, symbol). this is *so helpful*

2. think about the works in relation to each other. you might be asked to compare them. even if they ask you to compare something on the reading list with something new, you’ll be familiar with the points you might talk about.

3. know the lit terms. more flashcards. associate them with a particular work if you can/need to.

4. don’t freak on the listening. a lot of the recordings are old and shitty quality. take a deep breath and try your best. know that the rest of the test takers (excepting maybe natives) are experiencing the same thing.

5. use that tool box. see general spanish and ap spanish lang.

this is so freaking long and i think the moral of the story is that i blocked out my senior year ap exams. i hope this was helpful and, if you have more questions, or want more stuff like this, let me know!

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lilyev · 5 years

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wassup my dudes, i’m bee and i’m a huge ass nerd who’s super excited to be here ! pls take my daughter lily and love her, or hate her, w/e, i’m fine with it either way

isn’t that LILY EVANS ? yeah that is HER, sitting there at the GRYFFINDOR table with those other SIXTH years and i think i heard sybill saying they look like ZOEY DEUTCH… whoever that is! when she looks into her crystal ball she sees fireflies, coffee with cinnamon, cigarettes in the backyard, honey-flavoured chapstick, chipped nail polish, lying on the roof during a thunderstorm, flowers growing from cracks in the pavement, the feeling you get walking out from a cinema. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty TENDERHEARTED, TEMPESTUOUS, and INDEPENDENT. apparently they’re a MUGGLEBORN but i’m sure that’s not related.

aesthetic: fireflies, coffee with cinnamon, cigarettes in the backyard, the smell of bookstores, honey-flavoured chapstick, whispered secrets, the burn of firewhiskey in your chest, chipped nail polish, polaroids, lying on the roof during a thunderstorm, chapped lips, the summertime buzz of cicadas, flowers growing from cracks in the pavement, burnt chocolate chip cookies, jane austen novels, angry tears, happy tears, scribbled notes in the margins of old books, the red glow of a sunset, the feeling you get walking out from a cinema

CHILDHOOD

lily evans grew up in cokeworth, england, a “distinctly unmagical” town that is solely known for being the fourth-largest steel producer in england. the steel factory smokestacks in the west loom over the town and its winding alleyways, cinder blocks, and weeds growing out of pavement cracks.

lily’s childhood was that of mowed green lawns, challah bread, flintstones reruns in grainy black and white, and playing outside after dinner with petunia till the sky grew dark and the fireflies and mosquitoes came out and their parents would call them back home for bed.

her parents were both university professors who had met while getting their doctorates, her mother in german literature and her father in political science. they were both academic, intelligent people, and saw no reason not to treat their children as such. this meant lots of political discussion over the dining room table — at nine, little lily knew more about the government deficit than most of her schoolteachers probably did. petunia tended to tune out these debates, claiming disinterest, but lily loved them, listening in avidly even if she didn’t understand. as she got older she began to participate more and more, and often even brought up issues she was interested in.

but despite her brightness, contrary to popular belief, school hasn’t always come naturally to lily. she just could never quite bring herself to focus in school. some teachers labelled her a chatterbox, others simply labelled her trouble. really, it was more of a combination of a desire to befriend every creature she met with an inability to sit still.

because lily yearned for something more than life at the end of the cul-de-sac, yearned for some great adventure. she was a curious, fearless thing as a child, always leaping off of the swing and tugging tuney to go explore on the other side of the tracks, where their parents didn’t allow them to go.

so when she met a sallow-skinned boy from the wrong side of town, and he told her about magic, lily was enraptured by the thought. severus snape and the world he spoke of represented, to lily, the adventure she’d only ever dreamed of.

you all know the story — lily didn’t mean to, but she traded one best friend for another, and petunia was left behind, hurt and angry.

HOGWARTS

flash forward to eleven year old lily – small for her age, sitting on a stool in the great hall and listening to the hat debate between slytherin and gryffindor. after she ended up being sorted into gryffindor, and heard everything her housemates had to say about slytherin, she couldn’t help but wonder why the hat had thought it might suit her. ( like mother like son, am i right ? )

but lily is ambitious and proud, and ( especially as a first year ) overflowing with a desire to prove herself. but when it comes down to it, she has a softness under her skin that doesn’t suit the cold blood of a snake, and her instinct to protect those she loves vastly outweighs her self-preservation instinct.

and all of a sudden, she was doing better in school than she ever had before. hogwarts gave her eager, curious young mind the adventure and intrigue it had been craving. for the first time, she actually wanted to learn. the professors quickly became used to the wiry girl with messy auburn hair and bright eyes sitting in the front row of every class and peppering them with questions.

she became the gryffindor prefect last year, something she was both very excited and very apprehensive about. she’s very conscious about the influence she has on younger students, and she’s determined to prove that she was the right choice.

PERSONALITY

lily evans has two main motivators: sentiment and spite. on one hand, she’s romantic and nostalgic, clinging to her fairytale endings and her belief that everyone has at least a little bit of good inside of them. she’d like to believe that everything will turn out the way it should, and that all pain is temporary and useful.

but on the other hand, she has her temper. lord, this girl is stubborn and proud to her very core. she does not easily admit she’s wrong, and she’s often guided by her emotions rather than her reason. it’s not a great combination. she has been called tempestuous.

she tends to make snap judgements about people and stubbornly sticks to those snap judgements. it takes her a while before she admits that someone isn’t as bad as she had previously thought, or that someone is worse than she previously thought ( see: james potter, severus snape )

she doesn’t react well to personal criticism. she can be pretty defensive and even hypocritical sometimes.

but for all her faults ( and she has many — she’s stubborn, over-idealistic, proud, spiteful, at times selfish, hypocritical, quick-tempered, biased ) lily loves. and she hopes. with all her heart.

she cares so much about everything. she wears her emotions on her sleeves. she cries when she’s angry, and when she’s happy, and when she’s talking passionately about something she loves.

if you’re someone lily evans loves, you should count yourself lucky, because she will defend you to the death. and if you’re a person who lily evans hates, you should also count yourself lucky, because no matter how much she hates you, there’s a little part of her that believes in the good part of you.

sometimes she wishes she was tougher, less vulnerable. she wishes the word ‘mudblood’ wouldn’t sting each time it’s flung at her like a grenade ( but it does ), and she wishes she isn’t disappointed with every chanukah that goes by without a card from pertunia ( but she is ). but in true lily evans fashion, she stubbornly holds her chin up high and smiles and doesn’t let the world see her hurting.

HEADCANONS

she keeps trying to keep a diary but she always forgets to write in it, although she refuses to admit it’s a hopeless cause.

has a love for sweeping, dramatic classical music and movie soundtracks

lily comes from a progressive jewish family ! lily was never really super into it when she was little ( she enjoyed the chanukah dreidel games and the purim festivities, loved listening to the stories of esther and the exodus, but fidgeted all through hebrew school and hated the solemnity and fasting of yom kippur ) but she has a greater appreciation for the culture now she’s older. still doesn’t really observe kashrut though.

[ HOLOCAUST TW ] part of the reason she’s super super super against blood purity is bc of this and obvs also cause she’s a muggleborn ! her mother was eight when the second world war started, and as lily’s gotten older she’s heard more and more about her mother’s experience. and it chills her how much it reminds her of all this blood purity and voldemort stuff. [ END TW ]

petunia converts to catholicism for vernon when they get married and lily is so angry she cries for days, but then their mother sits down with her and talks about how everyone has their own faith and you can’t judge someone else for theirs

loves cats even though she’s allergic to them ( has a toad named gilbert, after gilbert blythe from anne of green gables )

has an irrational fear of seaweed – not the kind you eat, the kind that brushes up against your ankles when you’re swimming. also afraid of flying and airplanes

has an extensive collection of nail polish ( picks at her nail polish when she’s nervous )

a physically affectionate person – loves hugs, and cheek kisses, and platonic hand holding

loves old audrey hepburn movies

she always loved when her parents read to her but she never had the attention span for actually sitting and reading books even though she loved them

[ DEATH, SMOKING TW ] she smokes …… she knows it’s bad but she started after her paternal grandfather died when she was 12 – they were going through his belongings and she found a half-used pack of his cigarettes and pocketed them. she just smoked them to try and catch his smell and feel closer to him but it developed into a habit and then an addiction ( although lily will insist she can stop anytime ) [ END TW ]

bisexual as FUCK thanks 4 coming to my ted talk

#petrificus.intro

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1218

Have you ever been to Australia? Nope. Not really on top of my travel lists when it comes down to it, but it would be lovely to visit nonetheless. I'd be most excited to try their local food.

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Kate, our HR officer.

Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. I am not.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Aya. But we’re not really friends anymore.

Ever wear out a CD? What was it? I don’t think so. I’ve broken CDs before but it was always because I had been a kid then and I constantly mishandled them.

What’s your favorite card game? I’m not into card games.

What’s your favorite fast food meal? I usually flock to burgers and fries. Fast food rice is blechhh so I never get any meals with them, which are usually paired with fried chicken.

Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? Torch. Prices are no joke either, so I don’t get to order from there a lot.

Lamb chops or pork chops? I have pork chops more frequently and I love them, but I’d go with lamb chops. More expensive so I get them less often, but I do like the taste of lamb more.

If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? I imagine this would be so inconvenient after just a few hours...but idk. Based on my mood now, maybe Still With You by Jungkook.

Ever heard of Shinedown? I have. I used to have a mutual who was obsessed with them. Never listened to their music, though.

What size is your bed? Just a twin-size.

What is the first meal you remember eating? I no longer remember that.

What was the first movie you ever saw? Stuart Little 2.

What percentile of your class were you in? I’m not sure about percentile, but I was just above average. Never topped the class but wasn’t behind academically, either. In our batch of around 165, I remember my ranking peaking at like 26. I don’t know what the equivalent percentile for that is.

Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? Yeah, I didn’t like being too adventurous anyway.

What forms of birth control have you used? Same-sex relationship.

Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? Sponge. OMG I hate touching wet cloths/fabric.

What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? Butter.

Ever punched a wall? Nope.

What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant. My finger.

Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? Yes, because he noticed I was in uniform, as were my orgmates then. And I’m guessing it was also because he could tell we were all young, so he let us go.

What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? < Hey, same!

What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? My education.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? I’ve spent the most on my merch collection so far; but as for an individual item, I’ve spent close to 5k on a photobook set. I haven’t really ventured out to start spending on more adulting stuff yet, lol.

What is your favorite cover song? Paramore’s cover of Passionfruit by Drake, or Hayley Williams’ cover of Teardrop by Massive Attack.

Did you ever drop out of school? Nope, I did everything in one go.

Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? I have not.

Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? I’ve only had basics done on me.

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? The extremely few times I had to go to the physical office, my co-workers put on some music, yeah. It had been a very chill atmosphere and they simply turned on YouTube on the TV and put on a playlist of BTS and Taylor Swift songs.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Mac.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes, I hate how the tags feel for the most part. The only time I don’t cut them off is if the brand is on the pricey side.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? Under normal circumstances, around 3-5 with my family.

What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? It’s easier for me to say what periods I find a little boring: medieval/dark ages and anything about wars. Every other period I’d happily soak up like a sponge.

What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? Mmmh, probably kids dying from freak accidents and seeing the parents get interviewed. Just last night I had to hear about a 4 year old who ran towards a car while playing outside. Hearing the dad cry and plead was gut-wrenching.

In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Idk, maybe those that live in the super deep sea and look nothing like what we would usually perceive as normal sea creatures.

What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? I guess it would have to depend on the issue you find yourself stuck in. But I think being able to control time would be convenient, since you can just easily undo mistakes.

Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. That would invalidate experiences for a lot of people. :/

Why are you best friends with your best friend? She’s always been supportive and stuck by my side no matter what I’ve been through. We also have great chemistry and have always shared the same sense of goofy humor.

Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? No.

Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? I’d just make sashimi everyday.

What do you think of when you look at the stars? I tend to reminisce when I do so. Think about what’s happened in the past, people who’ve left, what I’ve lost...and that there’s probably good reason why things are the way they are now.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. < Well there we go.

What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Travel the world.

What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Ariel. Pretty fucking clumsy, prioritizes the wrong things out of love.

What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Happiness.

Do you use any acne medication? Nah, I just splash my face with water every morning.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? [This survey seems to be a mix of a few surveys, so some of the questions - like this, I’ve already answered. I’ll be striking out the ones I’ve already delved on but if you’ll take this survey as well, feel free to remove the strike!]

Do you still have a landline phone in your home?

Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? LOL just home. I work from home, and I’m usually exhausted during the weekend to want to go out.

How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? A few times a week for work. Most of the time we communicate just through audio, but there are a few meetings or clients that prefer video.

Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? It’s a number combination, but I seldom get to use it. I usually rely on thumb ID.

What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Not a liquor store but I just got a few bottles of beer from 7-Eleven.

Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? We don’t. We’re not really a big cereal-eating family.

What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? 11. That’s a set of grandparents (2), my family (4), my mom’s older brother’s family (4), and my mom’s younger brother (1).

Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I have two. 13 years with Kimi, a year with Cooper.

What's your favourite kind of cheese? Feta and mozzarella.

Have you danced in the rain? Once or twice, when I was a lot younger.

Who is your favorite person to text? I don’t text anymore, but I frequently communicate with Angela on Messenger.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? My favorite pair is from Zara, but I don’t have a go-to brand for jeans per se.

Do you enjoy Mario games? Not all of them, but sure.

What’s your favorite online game? I don’t play games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Possibly. Not remarkable enough for me to remember though.

Who was last to cook for you? Dad.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave? I would love to. I had the chance to explore one during our trip to Sagada, but the tour guide decided against it since I had the wrong footwear and it wasn’t going to be safe if I tried. :( I did get to go to the underground cave in Palawan though, and that was a really fun experience.

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? I’d give her a small, polite/curt smile and maybe wave, then go on with whatever it was I’ve been doing. Of course, I doubt it would actually go that way because I believe she’d run for the hills if she ever spotted me.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? No. I would refuse to, especially if they were the one driving.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yeah, for too long.

Have you ever held a snake? I have! A few times.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Almost never. Angela and Hans coming over for Sowoozoo two weeks ago was just an exception.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No, I wouldn’t say that.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected?

Do you have any exercises you do everyday?

Are you more of a dog or cat person?

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone?

Would you ever have a bird as a pet?

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral?

Do you know someone who’s been cremated?

What is your favorite animated movie?

Did your grandparents teach you anything? Just some religion stuff and how to be a nice Catholic and all. Doesn’t apply to me, obvs, but I still outwardly listen out of respect.

Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? Yes.

Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? I am most definitely not.

Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Sure, a few times. Yes, it was fun and hilarious.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? Just the basic ones like truth or dare and never have I ever.

Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger?

Have you ever been to Mexico? No, but would be nice to travel there.

Have your parents ever worked in medicine? No, not their field.

Is there anything unusual about your house? We don’t have a gate, which has always bugged me.

How many serious relationships have you been in? One.

Do you listen to Rise Against? Much more when I was in high school. I haven’t revisited their music in years.

When was the last time you congratulated someone? Reggy since she posted her graduation portrait the other day.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Nah.

How old were you when you got your ears pierced? Like a month old, I believe.

Do you snore when you sleep? Rarely. A snore or two would usually come out only if I’m extremely exhausted.

What was the last type of burger you ate? A Baconator from Wendy’s.

#survey #surveys

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chaosslibrarian · 6 years

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My first opinions of Star Wars The Last Jedi, just about an hour after I got out of the theatre. Under cut because wow they’re spoilers! THIS IS LONG so kind of detailed spoilers lol

I’m going to try to do my opinions as chronologically as I remember them, but it’s probably going to end up a huge mess after a while. I’m doing the Reylo thoughts last because... yeah wow.

Poe/Finn/Rose/The Rebellion (and some Hux)

If I start with the plot elements that don’t involve shipping I thought it was a genuinely funny scene with how Poe baited Hux, and how Hux bought it because he’s so uptight he wouldn’t be able to catch a joke unless it was his face and it was thrown at him. Even then it’s doubtful. It felt in character with Poe’s hotshot personality, and the way he talked to Kylo in one of the first scenes in TFA.

Oh boy, here we’re already going to get all jumbled up, because to continue with Poe I think they did a great job of portraying him as the want-to-be hero who thinks he’s doing the best he can yet ends up fucking everything up in the end. I definitely think that the FO would have followed them through light speed anyway, because Hux is just that cunning and power thirsty that he would. But the Rebels would have been able to make it to Crait without detection if not for the Finn/Rose mission.

I loved the dynamic between Finn and Rose btw. Finn is the reluctant hero whose previous actions that have been based on his love for others have placed him in a seat he’s not quite sure he can, or wants to, fill. For Finn there are only two things that matter: Rey and Poe, but Rey first and foremost before anything else. When he was about to escape to her, the idea of her being out there lost esp after how he last saw her? Definitely enjoyed that idea of not all heroes being the ones who want to be heroes, but that some even suck at being heroes lol... in different ways. Poe and Finn show different ways you can be an amazing hero and a sucky hero all in one mission. Love it. Love them.

I had so high hopes for Rose as a character, and she definitely lived up to them. She saw her hero try to escape and said “fuck him” and tasered him. Her sister died for them so she wasn’t about to see anyone take off when they were needed the most. Rose’s backstory was just... yes, I loved that she was given a motivation, and that she was awkward and awesome all at the same time. Her saving Finn who was on a suicide mission was... yes. Risking her own life for him? She and Finn both love very fiercely, and I think that makes them perfect for one another. You could really tell that Kelly and John got along well on set.

From what I saw before I was expecting leaving the theatre not feeling the Rebellion’s cause being as legitimate as before. Though it did become evident that at this point it was all retaliation and both just trying to eliminate each other which is a battle neither side was better or worse for (their ideologies behind their desire to eliminate the other is what makes them better or worse). In the end they’re both killing people. It was also interesting bringing up arms dealings. A very political point to place smack dab in the middle of a Star Wars film, but a true one nevertheless. It’s easy to see arms dealers as abetting the “wrong” side and profiting off of war like that, but this is reality. They arm both sides and benefit from the perpetuation of war. This is what is happening in our world right now, and a social commentary that to me stuck out like a sore thumb in a way that I didn’t know whether I liked or not in a movie like this. I’m leaning towards like, but not sure yet.

I’m really sad to say that I didn’t see much in the storyline for Leia and Admiral Holdo, they had some moments but it just felt like they were side characters giving the others something to bounce off of and give them their motivations and struggles to deal with. I think the one part of the movie I wasn’t at all happy with was how they did the Leia-force-pulling-herself-back-on-the-ship. It just looked weird and like a witch flying on a broom against a star sheet backdrop. You could see the wires even if they were edited out. I really wonder what they will do with Leia’s character in IX. It honestly feels like Rian didn’t really know what to do with Leia, and that’s the one downfall of this film.

Rey/Kylo/Luke/Snoke/Hux (Reylo!)

I think I heard somewhere before that Luke would just chuck the lightsaber over his shoulder and away when he took it, but the moment fell a bit flat for me. Maybe it was delivery, cutting, how it was written... it just didn’t fit into the scene. Not because it was unexpected, unexpected things can still fit into the scene...

Rey’s quest to convince Luke of coming back to join the Resistance, hiding who she is from him because the truth about it scares her. Slowly she begins opening up. But Luke begins making the same mistake he did with Kylo fast when he decided to teach her the very basics of the Force. It was kind of cute of what Rey thought Jedi were, and it lends credence to the idea that she took some of the knowledge from Kylo’s head IMO.

Back to Rey vs Luke. Luke’s fear of Rey as soon as she investigated the other thing on the island, something that scared Luke, he shut her down. Instead he’d be comfortable with her powers being left out there untamed and so easily manipulated? Odd choice Luke.

When Rey thought that Kylo had come to the island but it was just a force vision/bond instead I... loved it. Rey’s quick anger and Kylo’s exploring curiosity of what was happening. It kind of felt like a fanfic, but in the best of ways like the truly well written ones you wish you could see on screen... and I guess a fanboy like Rian is writing “fanfic” but it’s now canon (so cool!). Their slow acceptance of each other, the initial hostility and awkwardness, the anger that Rey got to unleash on him to sort through it. The different stories of how Ben became Kylo but were all the same.

In the beginning Luke did feel responsible for what he’d done, but he didn’t want to fess up to what he really had done. He had been guided by fear, even if just for a few moments, and unleashed it against a child who should’ve been given comfort and guidance... Luke did create Kylo, even if he only did so in a few seconds of fear. But Luke seeking Ben out and looking into his dreams... it wasn’t a thing of the moment. He reacted against a fear he’d already created in his head beforehand, fearing the past instead of looking toward the future and helping Ben.

The scene where Kylo was shirtless was funny. The whole “can you cover up?” (not verbatim ofc) was so cute. Rey all flustered seeing a man we know she is conflicted about and seeing him look really damn good...yeah, I liked that scene because it pushed the characters even further and told us as an audience that they’re building towards something. Rey doesn’t hate him anymore, she might even feel some kind of attraction that she doesn’t yet understand herself...

When Rey got sucked down into the “dark hole” and the whole mirror thing. It was creepy yet so well done. I was going “nope... nope, nope” during the whole scene because nope. That’s creepy AF well done Rian. The whole waiting patiently in line for something, following an order and just following along to get to the end felt like something the FO definitely stands for. I mean... “Order” you know? I don’t know how to best explain it right now as it’s 2am and I’m pretty tired. Might get back to this idea at a later date.

But I loved how it was Kylo she confided in this too. And, how she knew this kind of clandestine connection she had with Kylo would only drive Luke away... and probably because she didn’t understand what it meant herself either. When she turned to Kylo with you know she’s starting to trust his word, starting to see him as a human being with complexity and struggles that can’t be placed into neat boxes of “good” and “bad”. When Kylo admitted to being a monster I think that threw her off a lot...

Then when Luke finds them, and the fight between Rey and Luke where Rey truly shows herself as a girl on a mission who will not deal with this man’s crap anymore. Either she Luke comes with her, or she goes finding hope somewhere else in someone else.

Rey’s gullible, definitely. She was gullible in TFA, and she’s quickly learning that she needs to not take things at face value, because people have sinister motivations that she can unwittingly end up giving power to.

As for Kylo’s part of this... he’s just as starved for love and affection as Rey is. They’re both finding something in each other that hasn’t been provided anywhere else. Kylo’s curiosity at first and then calm acceptance that she was now a part of his life, and then seemed to fall deeper and deeper into this connection between the two. Their fingers touching? ahhhhhhh, once again... need to get back to this at another point. Too much to say.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE WOW YOU GUYS

In the throne room I was on edge it was so good. We obv knew Kylo wouldn’t kill Rey because hello, but for a while I was uncertain how exactly this would go about. Kylo seemed to have for a moment been 100% onboard with the whole manipulating Rey, but then his betrayed face at this connection between the two of them created by Snoke for nefarious reasons... oh he was betrayed. But, after years and years under Snoke he now knows how to hide his intentions, knows how to conceal them under other expected feelings.

Rey calling him Ben was a sure way of her turning him against Snoke. The whole “wanting to kill his enemy” thing and he turned the lightsaber subtly around and THEN LIT IT UP AND KILLED SNOKE was so fucking badass I couldn’t deal. Oh, and before that Snoke’s torture of Rey and how Kylo seemed to want to get up and rip his fucking throat out.

The two of them fighting together? I don’t think I breathed for like a solid minute. It was incredible. I am... yes. Yes. I need to see that over and over and over again. When Rey threw him her lightsaber and he killed the pretorian guard?? Holy fuck. That was awesome.

And when Rey turned down his hand, because while somewhat good idea Kylo your execution of it is 100% terrible and you need to get your shit together. That struggle there. HOW THEY STRUGGLED FOR THAT SABER AND HOW IT FUCKING BLEW UP!? omg

and then Hux finding Kylo and Kylo lying because... he just helped a rebel get away and he killed the supreme leder for her?? Hmm, people might have questions about that so better not go spilling that secret to others Kylo? Hmm?

OH, and BEN! BEN!

At the end of the movie where they share that bond one last time before she pulled up the bridge? Idk if that’s her cutting him off or not. Can she do that? I think in IX she’ll struggle with that a lot.

But during the battle of Crait.... oh boy. Kylo you are a child. And Kylo and Hux trying to both have power was like watching two children bicker, but that’s what they’ve done since TFA so no surprise lol. Then Kylo’s obvious tantrum at Luke. Blasting him for minutes to make sure he’s dead (and holy crap Hux’s comment was gold). When Luke survived I understood he wasn’t actually there so I wasn’t too pressed with what was going to happen during their fight. Was quite surprised that he actually died though, wasn’t expecting that! But it was a good way for his character to go. Not murdered or lost in a battle, but being a hero (side note: I liked his arc in this movie where he got to face himself again and was given the OK to burn down the temple basically).

And Rey and Kylo/Ben talking about her parents? WOW that was so sad and so... a lot. Her parents were truly horrible, I had hoped for something more from it, but I also liked that she was a nobody because it’s hopeful in a way. That out of hardship and bad experiences you can emerge as something bigger and significant, a hero. That’s a great message for kids and adults everywhere IMO. But it was a heartbreaking scene where Kylo/Ben challenged her to search for what she knew to be true. She didn’t have the legacy she hoped she had, she didn’t have a family that missed her and would come back for her. She’d known that for a long time but it was the one comfort that she had. The dream of being something greater. But now she’s... greater. Greatest maybe.

OTHER THOUGHTS

Talking after the movie my friends and I agreed that Kylo’s ideas of wanting the old structures to die and to create something new were actually quite... you know good, but his ways are bad. Like I touched upon before. Even Luke was on that path where he wanted the Jedi to end because it was an archaic idea of the world and needed to be changed. So Rey may be a Jedi, but she will have to build up an entirely new Jedi “order” because she has no knowledge of the one before, and she has a unique ability to make it far better than it used to be, maybe with more of a balance. She’s somewhat drawn to the dark, no? It’ll be interesting to see...

I think IX will be focused a lot on building a new kind of structure, of demolishing the old to make room for new and improved things. The size of the Resistance dwindling fast it’s going to be hard for them to keep standing up against the FO, they’ll be wholly reliant on Kylo’s weak-spot for Rey. While he seemed ready to kill her after her rejection... remember he’s got the temper of a teenager atm. He will need to cool it a little, and with his connection with Rey I think that will happen. I hope that their bond remains open and frustratingly inconvenient for both of them, when they’re both alone and that that will help with creating the BALANCE of the future.

I really really hope the next film will be about finding the balance and both of these sides trying to build up new things in the ashes of the old. Kylo doing it dark-side method at first, but increasingly Rey will help him connect with the light side of the Force, and together they will end up creating a grey sort of harmony that is a bit chaos where neither side ever really wins because they both need each other to exist.... and Rey and Kylo will need each other to exist...

Hmm, this got way longer than I intended. Way longer. Now it’s 2.40am... heh. But lots of thoughts. I have to see it again. And again.

#star wars tlj #tlj spoilers #reylo #star wars tlj thoughts #this is LONG

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marisheeran-imagines · 7 years

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Ed Sheeran Imagine - Guiding Light, Chapter #1

You got home around 7pm, a bit later than the usual due to your boss comanding you to train the new interns. You love working there, it’s always been your dream to work in a book publishing company, but you’re tired, craving for a hot relaxing bath, your mattress and warm blankets. London is getting cold, and you laugh by yourself as you remember the motto “The Winter is coming” from Game of Thrones, the TV show you love watching with your fiancé, Ed, you’d also love having him by your side, cuddling with you, but he’s on tour now, and probably won’t be here that soon. You go upstairs straight to your bedroom, when you hear some noises in the room next door and decide to check it.

You aren’t expecting to find your fiancé there, as he’s been on Tour for his fourth album for nearly a year (practically the time you moved in together), and you barely had time to see each other since then. He’s on his studio room, sitting with his back to you, doing something on his laptop. His ginger hair is longer than you remember, and he’s wearing one of those dark-grey-blue flannels you love on him, making impossible for you to see his tattoos. You heart starts beating fast in you chest, you miss this boy so much the tears quickly fill in your eyes.

“Teddy?” you whisper, astonished, unable to raise your voice, sounding a bit trembling.

“Babe?” he turns towards you, the brightest smile on his face and his eyes, beautifully blue, are looking at you so deep and with such love, the air gets stuck on your throat. Oh God, you’ve missed all of this so bad! Though you’re always watching videos of his performances and interviews (you also chat on skype and facetime from times to times), it’s not the same when he’s live. The tears you’ve been holding back just fall down your cheeks “document.write(Mariana), love, what’s wrong?” he asks worried, standing up immediately and starting to approach you.

“Teddy!” you repeat, this time louder, and run to him, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly.

“Love!” he chuckles, when he realises you’re not crying for being sad, hugging you tight as well “I’ve missed you!”.

“So have I” you murmur against the crook of his neck, breathing in his marvellous scent, and your brain automatically remembers you of it “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be doing gigs for at least a month before coming back home!” you say, raising your head to look into his bright blue eyes.

“Some of the concerts were unfortunatelly cancelled due to lack of security” he sighs. You know how much important this life is for him, which is why you’d never opposed to being away from him for so long. That is his happiness, and if he’s happy, so you are.

“Oh, I’m so sorry babe!” you caress his right cheek, right onto his scar.

“Yeah, well, now I have about two weeks and a half off. I can be with you, at least!” he gives you that smile. The one that makes your legs weaker and your heartbeating speeds up.

“Always the good side!” you smile back at him when he gently wipes off the tears from your face with his thumbs “What do you wanna do for tonight?” you ask, smiling wider when he lowers his hands back to your waist, holding you close to him.

“Hm…” he bites his lower lips and you laugh at his thinking expression “I thought we could stay here, and just chill out. Maybe order something to eat…”.

“Sushi!” you both say at the same time, giggling at each other. This is just one of your many compatibilities. Your tastes, your principles are so alike that it’s what makes your relationship so strong and beautiful, you believe.

“Alright, I’ll just change into something more comfortable and we can order it!” you say, pulling away from his arms slowly, not wanting to be apart from him for any other second. You’re reaching the door when something comes up to your mind and you turn around to face him, walking back to him.

You carefully remove his glasses document.write(glass), placing on the table beside you. You get on your tip toes and wrap your arms around his neck again so you can press your lips onto his. He pulls your body closer to his, hugging you and pushing his tongue into your mouth. It’s a kiss full of love, passion and missing, you can’t help letting a small whimper slip out of you when you taste him after so much time.

His fingertips press the small of your back, bringing you even closer as he moves his tongue slowly inside your mouth, carefully playing with your own. He lowers his hands to your butt, squeezing it a little and breaks the kiss as you need to catch some breath, smooching down to your neck, licking your flesh. Your heart jumps in your chest, your breath speeds up and you raise your hands to his fiery red hair, twisting it with your fingers and he groans into your skin, breathing heavily.

Suddenly you feel a hard form against your belly and you look down, frowning, only then realising that form is actually his manhood sticking you up.

You look back at him and you can’t help blushing deeply at his gaze. “I’m sorry” he says, his voice tone a bit lower and husky than usual, his cheeks also red. He looses the grip on your waist pushing you away slightly so you don’t feel him anymore.

You had already tried to make your mind up before so you can give yourself entirely to him, but your insecurities about your body and lack of experience never let you go any further then some kisses and clothed make out sessions. And as Ed is always controlling himself, extremely respectful of your “condition”, this kind of situation (you being able to feel him through your clothes) is kind of rare, unusual. He tries his best to not make you umconfortable, even if he has to stop himself from getting what he desires.

In addition, you know it’s been hard for him because he hasn’t being with any woman after his last relationship ended. Which happened about two years and a half ago, also the time you met each other and started dating a little while later. “It’s alright…” you say, biting your lower lip and smiling sheepishly “I’m gonna shower” you give him one last peck before heading to your shared bedroom.

Reaching there, you breath in and out slowly, gasping a bit. As you grab fresh and clean clothes and make your way to the bathroom, your mind flies back to the last moments you’ve spent together, and you are able to feel shivers of anxiety running through you. What if you had let him go ahead and make you his? Would he have liked you? Would he rather if…

“Love?” Ed calls you through the bathroom door, interrupting your thoughts. You’re almost fully undressed, except for the panties on your body. You quickly wrap a towel around yourself before opening the door enough so you can see his face “Yes?”.

“Hm… I just wanted to apologise again…” he pauses, sighing heavly, like when he’s disappointed with himself “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or like I wanted anything else from you this way, as if I was pressuring you. I promise I’ll control myself better from now on�� he says looking straight into your document.write(brown) eyes. His blue ones looking extremely sorry.

“It’s okay, Teddy!” you open the door wider, smiling at him. You know he had no intentions in forcing you to do anything you didn’t feel like, and his cuteness and worry makes your heart melt “I know all of that, you don’t need to explain yourself! Don’t be upset!” you kiss his cheek “And… I kind of…” you take a breath and look at your feet, blushing “I do want this to happen, Ed!” you speak in a lower tone.

Ed brings your chin up, making you look at him “Oh! Really?” he frowns and then softens his expression, giving you an embarassed little smile “You don’t have to worry nor rush about it, baby, when you feel ready, you’ll know, and I’ll know that too”.

“No, baby, the thing is, I am ready, I’m only not sure how to do it” you admit “You know how I just simply freeze every time I am closer to get more intimate with you”.

“There’s no reason to be nervous, love!” he sweetly kisses the top your forehead, wrapping his arms around you firmly “I’m yours!” he murmurs in your skin and lowers his head to look into your eyes. His are glowing beautifully and you can see the love he feels for you right through them. And only then you realise you don’t have to be afraid or insecure, he’s always been there for you, he won’t judge you for your little flaws or the ones you think you have.

“And I’m yours!” you hold the towel against your body tighter with one arm and hugs him with the other. Standing on your toes, you kiss him slowly.

He breaks the kiss and chuckles “Hm… I’m gonna order for us while you take your shower, alright?” you nod “Anything special?”.

“Nope” you giggle “The usual is fine!” you wink and he nods, kissing the tip of your nose and releasing your body “Be quick, baby, I don’t want to be away from you much more!” he says softly, walking out of the room.

You sigh and close the door again, looking at your expression in the mirror: you seem fascinated by your new discharge of confidence. You smile, removing the towel and deciding to shave yourself completely, thinking maybe that’s the night you’ll finally surrender yourself to the love of your life.

…

You put on some of your favourite body lotion, your long sleeved pajamas top and pants. Going downstairs, you see Teddy setting the living room small table to yourselves.

“document.write(Mariana)?” he smiles wide when he notices you “What about document.write(King)?” he picks the DVD of your favorite animation movie and you grin at him. “Perfect!” you nod, approaching him.

“Alright. The food has just arrived” he puts the DVD on and two cushions on the carpet, sitting on one of them and tapping the other beside him.

You take the seat and he gives you the hashi “Thank you, Teddy!” you kiss his left cheek “You’re welcome, love!” he turns his head towards yours, giving a peck on your lips.

Ed brings the table closer to you both, and you start eating the delicious food. You take your time, watching him, so close to you, after almost a year: it’s seem like a dream! He has rolled his shirtsleeves up and you can finally see his tattos. You smile at the little red hand in his arm, it’s one of your favorites, the meaning is so sweet and so Ed that you can’t help melting and falling in love with him more at every second.

You obseve his face, from the left side, his light blue eyes, already focused on the movie, the birthmark highlighting the left one, his nose pointing up, the freckles on it and his cheeks, those cute and squeezable cheeks you love so much, and the light pink lips you wanna kiss all the time. All of it framed by his messy curled ginger hair.

“What?” he looks at you, frowning, when he realises you’ve been gazing at him.

“Nothing” you shake your head, grinning “Just recognising the incredible man I have by my side!” you wink and he blushes deeply and adorably.

“Ah!” he bites his lower lips “Thank you?” he chuckles with himself. “Just the truth!” you shrugh, turning your attention back to the food.

“I must say the same!” he says grinning “I’m the luckiest man in the world for having you!” he hugs you by your side, resting his arm on your shoulder and you lay your head on his, giving a small kiss on his neck and you feel him shiver.

You stay in this position, just watching the movie and enjoying each other’s company for a little while, when you both sit up to eat.

…

After eating and watching document.write(King), you decided to lay on the sofa, Ed behind you with his arms around your body “How’s your job?” he asks, breaking the silence first.

“It’s fine” you answer, a bit tired. Cuddling always makes you feel so comfortable and protected, you know you can spend the whole day in Ed’s arms, just relaxing or sleeping “There are more work to do now that document.write(Luana) reopened the internship program”.

“They should make things easier for the other workers, shouldn’t they?” you can imagine the wrinkle on his forehead as he asks, confused.

“Well, babe, they’re all new on the job, I can’t blame them. They have a lot to learn” you shrug. “I remember when you joined the company, love, we had met each other, what? Three or four weeks before. You had just graduated at the best British University at such a young age; you were a little genious! And still are, to be honest! You had no problems in becoming the best worker there!” he kisses your cheek.

You shake your head, smiling at his words and lean against him better, feeling his soft shape perfectly pressed to your back, looking at him over your shoulder “Hm…” he murmurs in you ear after a while “I still think you should come touring with me!”.

“I can’t sing Teddy, you know that!” you playfully tap his hand that’s holding your waist “What would I do on tour with you?”.

“Well, you can do your job on the road with me!” he says, smiling “Write your own book like you’ve always wanted, instead of translating and publishing someone else’s. You and I know how great your potential is, you don’t even need to think too much to create a beautiful story. And I know you already have a few with you, just waiting to be shown to the world” he smiles wider. You laugh hard at his statement. This boy is so cute you turn around just to squeeze his cheeks with your hands.

He giggles, caressing the side of your right thigh and you shift under his touch, feeling yourself getting anxious with what this nearer contact can lead to, and your heartbeats increase as he grips your flesh firmly. Ed pulls you down his body so he’s on top of you, looking straight into your eyes.

You put your hands around his neck and bring his face down for you to kiss him. You lick his lower lip, asking for permission to enter his mouth and he concedes immediately. A slow battle start between your tongues, as yours tries to explore his mouth and his is doing the same. He grasps your waist, as the kiss become more rougher and passionate, positioning himself in the middle of your thighs and you can now feel his bulge pressed in your core.

You even try to open the first buttons of his shirt, but your shaky hands make things more difficult. Ed chuckles during the kiss, helping you to take his cloth off and you grab his arms, feeling their strong features with your palms. You bite his lower lip gently, pulling it a little.

“document.write(Mariana), babe!” he whispers against your lips, breathing heavily. Ed lowers the kiss from your neck to the skin of your chest that is not covered by your pajama top. You feel this part of your body heavier, along with your breaths; your nipples are also getting harder as Ed’s hands start travelling up the side of your body, stopping right beside your breasts. He separate your lips, and looks down, his gaze stuck at your chest, making you blush.

Putting your hands on his chin, you gently raise his head, being able to see his eyes full of lust and desire. He rubs his crotch against your center slowly and you let out a soft moan, feeling his hard and thick form. You start to get wet down there, throbbing and anxious to be touched “Ed!” you twist your fingers in his hair, pulling his curls a bit.

Ed leans down and gives one last kiss on your jawline before sitting on his knees, panting and looking at you intensely. He runs his hands through his hair nevoursly and lowers them to the hem of your shirt.

You breath in and out a few times before nodding and he slowly removes your pajama t-shirt. You sigh in relief when you notice you had put your bra on, as you don’t wear it for sleep. Ed’s eyes roam over your upper body and you cover youself with your hands, as it gets difficult for you to breath, the same thoughts you had in the bathroom coming back to your mind. Apparently, exposing yourself is being harder than you thought it’d be.

“Love?” he frowns, caressing your hands, right beside the stretch marks on your hips. You were feeling so confident earlier you forgot about these little things that have let you down all these years; the reason why you’ve never been with a man before, with Ed specially. Your gasp, instantly pushing his hands away from your body and sitting up at the other far end of the sofa, with your legs pressed into your chest, looking down at your hands.

“I’m sorry!” you whisper, trembling, some tears threatening to spill over.

“What’s wrong?” he approaches you slightly “Did I push you too much?” he sounds worried and you shake your head.

“It’s not you, Ed…” you bite your lower lip, preventing you from crying.

“Hey, document.write(Mariana), look at me, please!” he caress your chin and when you look at his blue eyes, all you see is disappointment and you feel guilty you’re not strong enough to get over your insecurities and give him what he deserves. But what if he doesn’t deserve you? He surely deserves someone better! Your current thoughts are the last straw and you start crying, hiding your face in your hands “I’m so sorry!” you murmur, your voice sounding muffled.

“No! Don’t apologise, there’s no reason to apologise!” he hugs you, kissing the top of your head and caressing your back, trying to calm you down. You just feel more guilty with the care he stills shows over you and you start sobbing, leaning your head onto your knees. He stays there comforting you until you chill out, and you raise your head, ready to face him “Talk to me, love!” he caress your cheeks, frowning, worried.

“I didn’t mean to…” you shake your head, fighting with the tears once more “I didn’t want to disappoint you, I’m sorry!” you gaze at his eyes, sounding sincere.

“You didn’t disappoint me, babe! document.write(Mariana), believe me when I tell you you could never let me down. It’s alright if you’re not ready. I can wait no matter how long it takes for you to feel comfortable with that” he sweetly kisses your temple. Oh Lord, he doesn’t understand, does he? It’s not a behavioral thing, it’s a physical one.

“You need a woman, Ed. A real one. Someone who can give you what you want, what you need! Not a young little girl, like me, frightened with the idea of being naked for the guy she loves, I’m just not the one” you say quietly, your voice barely audible as you look away at your hands again.

“Stop with that!” his voice is a bit angry “You are everything I need” he cups your face carefully, looking deeply into your eyes “Don’t say that again. EVER!” he stresses, the despair in his voice hurting you more than any nasty thought you had about yourself “What are you so afraid of?” he frowns “It’s just you and me! You said earlier you were mine, do you recall it? I told you I was yours as well. I’m not pressuring you, I’m just trying to understand why you don’t believe me when I tell you you’re the woman of my life!” he bites his lower lip “You said yes, you agreed to be mine forever, remember?”.

Your heart skips a beat when your mind takes you to the moment Ed proposed to you, a year and three months ago, exactly the time he asked you to move in to his house.

…

A year and three months before

“I know I’ll be far away for a while, but we’ll talk to each other every day, I promise!” he pulls you into his arms, kissing your forehead. You’re at his bedroom, helping him package some clothes and objects for his travel.

It’s the first time Ed will begin a tour since you started dating and you’re a bit apprehensive about how your relationship would “survive” through it. You love him with all your being, but you know he’s a handsome famous man and you fear he’d find another girl around the world and kick you out from his life.

“Okay!” you nod, not wanting to show him your insecurities.

“And… he releases your waist, getting down to one knee. You heart starts jumping in your chest when he pulls a small box from his jeans pocket and opens it up to you, revealing a pair of silver rings. Engagement ones, your eyes immediately fill with tears "I love you with all my heart, document.write(Mariana). Only one year of relationship and you already made me feel like I should spend the rest of my days with you, I’ve never felt like that, you make me happy like I’ve never been before. I know we hadn’t talked about our future together as a marriage, but we don’t have to rush anything. Just being engaged, like a promess that well'be each other’s forever” he takes a deep breath "Would you give me the extraordinary honor of letting me be your husband? Would you like to be my wife?" he looks at you anxiously, his eyes brighting, waiting for your answer.

“Yes! Of course, Teddy!” you grin, thrilled, letting the tears fall. That’s all you needed to relax from inside out. Ed loved you more than you thought, after all.

He grins at you as well, his glowing eyes a bit watered and you lower your hands to his face, cupping his adorable cheeks, and wipping off some tears that he let slipped. Ed stands up and takes your hand in his. He puts the beautiful ring in the fourth finger of your left hand and kisses your knuckles. He sniffs and you smile at his sensitivity; Ed’s never afraid of showing his emotions to you, and you try to do the same with him, even being more difficult for you to open up with him about your feelings.

“Would you like to move in as well?” he asks, his voice trembling a little, bringing his hands back to your waist “You may want to stay in my place when you miss me too much”.

“Are you sure? Being engaged is one thing, but living together is another… And as you say, you won’t even be here, Teddy. This is your home” you state.

“This is our home, babe!” he presses the tip of his nose onto yours and you both smile.

“I’ll think about it!” you bite your lip, laying your head on his shoulder, breathing in his cologne, keeping it in your memory, as you know you won’t be able to do this for a while “We just got engaged. Just let it happen!” you kiss his neck and he pulls you in closer, hugging you tight.

“I’m going to miss you!” he whispers “So am I, love!” you speak against his skin.

…

And Ed was right. After about two weeks he left, you missed him so badly you just grabbed the keys he gave you, organised a few boxes with all your stuff and moved into his house. Of course you called him before to be certain his plans were still on. Well, he was so happy he almost flew back home just to make sure you had everything you needed.

“As if it were yesterday” you answer him.

“So you must remember that I love you, right?” you nod, giving him a side smile “Tell me what’s on your mind, preferably without putting yourself down”.

“Ed, I don’t really think you’d want to hear that…” you start. “I want to know, I need to. Tell me your fears, I’m here for you, document.write(Mariana)” he interrupts you, a serious expression on his beautiful face.

“It’s just…” you sigh, avoiding his eyes “You are perfect, you know? And I am not” you shrug.

“document.write(Mariana), I’m not perfect” he says, taking your left hand from your knee and giving it a gentle squeeze “No one is. I’m human, I have flaws and make mistakes. Like everyone else” he caress the back of your skin.

“I don’t mean this kind of imperfection, Ed” you risk a glimpse at him and you see the confusion on his face “I’m younger than you, Teddy. It wouldn’t be a problem, but you have more experience than me in absolutely everything and you have had other women as experienced as you, the complete opposite of me!”.

“Is it being younger a problem for you?” he frowns “You know…”.

“Babe!” you interrupt him, drawing his attention and he stops talking “I kind of haven’t finished speaking my mind yet” you bite your lip nervously. Is he tired of listening to your complains? You knew this was going to happen, and that’s why you never opens up…

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know. Go ahead!” he blushes slightly, smiling embarrassed, interrupting your thoughts. “It's not exactly about age... I don’t feel… Physically capable of satisfying you” you finally reveal to him, holding your breath, waiting for his reaction. Will he be mad or agree with you?

“What? Why?” you finally look at him and he’s gazing at you, more confused, his very light brows almost meeting each other. “Look at me Ed, I’m not that attractive. Specially comparing myself with your ex-girlfriends”.

“document.write(Mariana), you know I’d never compare you to anyone else, specifically with my ex-girlfriends” he states “And you are attractive. I don’t know how or who made you think like that, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”.

“I think you need to change your glasses then” you say, chuckling, but you frown when he doesn’t show even a fake laugh, his face frozen in a serious look “I meant what I said, baby!” he says, gazing at you as if to prove his words “I am the one who should be asking myself what a young, beautiful lady like you is doing with his old lad here…”.

“No, Teddy! I love you!” you gently place your thumb on his lips, hushing him. “See that, document.write(Mariana)? I love you too. And that’s why I’m with you. I don’t care if you have a third eye or a third boob, I haven’t fallen for you because of your looks, and I bet you haven’t either” he says, with a small smile on his lips.

“It wouldn’t be so hard, you know? Falling for the way you look, Teddy” you play with his fingers that are still involving your hand.

“But have you? Have you fallen for me for the way I look? What was that, then? My scar or my tatoos? My birthmark or my belly?” he jokes, squeezing his soft belly covered by all that coloured tattoos. You grin at him, because the answer is so easy it just slips out of your mouth, without you thinking too much “It was everything” you confess “Not any of these, but all of them together, I’ve fallen for the whole group of things that makes you… Well, you!”.

“See it? And why can’t I love you the same? Why don’t you believe I love all of you? Since your smooth document.write(curly), document.write(yellow) hair, your document.write(hearted) face with your bright document.write(brown) eyes, your little nose, your extremely kissable mouth, this beautiful chest I don’t get to see very often because you rarely wear low-cut clothes. Your breasts I’ve been eager to see for a long time, even if I’m just being able to see their form right now” he winks and you blush, looking down at your boobs, covered by your document.write(blue) bra.

“This nice document.write(soft) belly of yours, I can tell you it is so much better than mine!” he chuckles and you smile timidly “I don’t care the size of it, nor your breasts or thighs size, I just want you, exactly the way you are, babe! All these perfect little things of you!” he grins at you “And I just love when you wear those pair of tight jeans and I can see your good-looking butt swaying around” your mouth opens in an “O” form, perplexed with his audacity, and he starts laughing at your face. This amazing sound you only have been able to hear by interviews or skype chats. The sound you most love to hear in the world; it is so contagious that you instantly starts laughing too, until your belly hurts and your eyes are filled with happiness tears.

“Oh babe!” you wipe the tears from your face and shakes your head, clarifying your mind “What about these things?” you turn your nose up, grabbing the flesh in your tummy, full of white thin strech marks. You got them when your body started to change from childhood to teenage years, and being young and unconcerned about them at the time, made you an insecure woman now that you actually care about them.

“What are those?” he approaches his hands to yours but you snap them before he can touch you. “No…” you hold his hands far from the marks, afraid of what he would feel if he touched them. “Do they hurt?” he asks worried. “Babe, haven’t you heard about strecth marks before?” you frown “Haven’t any of your ex-girlfriends had them?” your eyes wide when you think about this possibility. Were his exes that perfect?. “I don’t know, I mean, they probably had, but I wasn’t really paying attention to this kind of detail” he shrugs “You’re the first one who is actually caring about showing me them. And I’d probably never notice if you hadn’t shown me as well”.

You shake your head, knowing it’d be impossible for him not to see them “document.write(Mariana), it’s truth! All I think about when I see you this way is how perfect you are, and how lucky I am!” he smiles wide, taking you into his arms, sitting you onto his lap and kissing the top of your head. You feel his hands on your bare waist, near the marks and you tremble a little. He starts to trace the area with the tip of his fingers, certainly feeling the strange texture of your skin “It’s so lovely!” he whispers in your head, kissing it once more.

“Are you serious?” you ask in a low tone. You know he wouldn’t mock you for your features, but you hope he’s not liying just to make you feel better.

“Of course I am!” he raises your chin, so you can look at his eyes “I told you, I love all of you!” he grins and you sigh in relief, yawning afterwards “Let’s go upstairs! You must be tired!” he caresses your back, lifting you up on your feet.

“We won’t do anything tonight?” you ask as he stands up beside you.

“I think we should try it another day!” he wraps your waist with his ams and you pout a little bit frustrated “Oh babe, c'mon” he tickles the sides of your body and you throw your head back, laughing “I want you to be comfortable when we become one, document.write(Mariana)!” he leave wet kisses on your exposed neck, making sure to rub his beard on your skin, tickling it until you’re shaking in his arms. “Ed, babe!” you giggle, trying to push him away.

“Yes?” he stops the tickling session to look at you, wiggling his brows and smirking. You just shake your head, gasping a bit “I’m not tired!” you say, but another yawn coming from your mouth betrays you.

Ed smirks “You’re not tired, huh?” you shake your head “document.write(Mariana) don’t worry, 'cause we’ll have a lot of time to do this, baby. The rest of our lives!” he offers his right hand and you accept it “We can do other things, instead” he grabs your both hands, kissing their knuckles “Dance with me?” he asks, giving you one of his Puss in Boots eyes and you just can’t deny anything he asks; not when he does it looking that cute. You are not a very good dancer and neither is Ed. But it is one of these activities you know you can do together and alone, preferably, because no one will judge or make fun of you both.

You chuckle, nodding and he takes the cushions from the ground back to the sofa, afterwards pushing the table from the center to the corner of the room. Ed then walks to the radio, pressing some buttons to choose a song.

You grin when the first chords of one of your favourite songs, Guiding Light, starts to play. It is your favourite version of the song, only Ed singing (though you love Foy’s version as well) from a gig he played on thousands of years ago (8 to be more exact).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6elKkAP33Z0

Ed walks back to you, grabbing your waist and holding you thightly against his body. You feel his bare and coloured soft chest and belly pressed to yours (although your chest is still covered). His hands lower to the small of your back and you raise yours to his nape, playing with the little orange curls there.

“I love you, document.write(Mariana)!” he whispers, caressing your skin, and you shiver with his touch.

“I love you too, Ed!” you close your eyes, resting your head on his chest, being able to feel his steady heartbeats through his skin. Ed starts leading the dance in a slow rhythm, following the song and you move your feet carefully, not wanting to step on his. Your head is close to the lion tattoo, and you lower your right hand, caressing the face of the animal.

He hums the song, his face on your hair, sending vibrations through your whole body. It’s so good being able to hear him so close, in private. You don’t make any sound, not only because you can’t sing, but because you just want to take your time, enjoying the recorded song and the live murmurs Ed’s been letting out.

Ed lifts you up a bit, so your feet are over his, and you chuckle when you realise you were moving too slow, even for the song. He chuckles as well, looking down at you, his blue eyes shinning bright like you’ve never seen before and you sigh, a little smile making its appearance in the corner of your mouth. Even in this position, you’re still shorter than him, but it doesn’t bother any of you, as he lowers his head to give you a gentle kiss, moving his lips on yours with tenderness and love.

You close your eyes, as he does the same, licking your lower lip and you open your mouth, receiving his tongue with satisfaction. He doesn’t stop moving as you kiss, and now you’re in a better rhythm, actually dancing along with the song. You raise your right hand, that was still on his chest, meeting the other, and you caress his nape with the tip of your fingers, noticing him shift under your touch, feeling goosebumps, which makes you smile between the kiss, thinking about the effects you cause on him.

When you need to breath, Ed presses his forehead onto yours, his eyes still closed, a playful smile on his lips and you giggle with the sight of him, seemingly as happy as you are “Thank you, Teddy!” you say, low. He opens his blue eyes and nods, squeezing your waist a bit, and you know he understood what you meant. You’re thankful he’s helping to bring your confidence back, or even build it, carefully, with no pressure.

“Whenever you need, babe!” he sweetly kisses the top of your head “I’ll always be here for you”. And you are sure if it now.

You smile, knowing his words are true, letting all your fears disappear as you dance around the center of the room, as the song starts reaching its highest point with Ed beating the guitar and asking for the crowd to sing along. The lyric makes its way from your brain to your own heart. It’s perfectly matching your situation. He’s so much more than your fiancé, he’s your half, your anchor¹. He’s literally the light who’s always showing you the way back home, back to yourself.

You keep dancing until the last second, looking into each other’s eyes, feeling the song deepen in your hearts, and you know you’ll be his as forever as he’ll be yours!

¹This anchor thing is something I got from Teen Wolf {the TV show}, I hope you all had understood what I meant by that :o) (Though in the series, we learn that we must be our own anchor, in this situation, Ed being her anchor doesn’t mean the reader is not capable of taking care of herself, he’s there to support her like he’s stressed all the time! I’d have written “half anchor” there, but that wasn’t the moment, the reader was enjoying her dance and finally believing she was enough for our Ed and I didn’t want that scene to be too much heavy/serious. It’s just a couple enjoying each other after so long apart; as the reader “discovering herself as a beautiful and worthy person) Be your own anchor, people!

Sorry for the long note again!!

A/N: Hey people, good morning(?) (it’s almost 1 and a half am in Brazil)! Let me know what you are your thoughts about this first chapter. Should I write the second one? I’m so anxious to know your opinion 'cause it was really special, for me, to write about our Teddy! And I’m a little unsure if I’ve done it correctly. I wanted to "make” him kind of mixed by two things: °the way I think/imagine he’s most of the time; °and the way he shows himself to everyone (by what I have seen during interviews and gigs, by his lyrics and etc)

Also, the story/series name is Guiding Light just because I was watching Ed’s gig in the Roundhouse (2014) and I reminded myself how much I f* love this song, then I had the idea of the dancing scene, and I needed a song played/or not by Ed, that didn’t have a direct connection with his ex-girlfriends, but at the same time, could be a parallel to Perfect (which is part of the chapter name anyways :).

So… this song just perfectly matched what I was looking for, and I hope it makes sense to you! (I’m terrible in making up titles and all). I think I explained a lot of what’s on my mind in these notes, I’m very sorry if it was boring for you. If you think this is unnecessary, please, let me know, and I will reduce them! But I think it is important to stress some things when we write.

I also need to know if you think I should keep the Some Considerations section in every chapter or only in the first one! About the next chapter: It took about 5 days for me to write the story completely, + 1 (today) to add some details and other stuff, so, it’s probably the time I’ll take to write the next one, as well. But, I won’t be home from this Friday to Sunday, so, if I count six days from the days I’ll be available to write, I’ll probably post the next chapter on the next week, Friday, September 6th! (it can be before or after it).

Leave me your questions, comments and anything else you want in my inbox! Follow me, as well, if you want! My twitter account, if you want to follow me there too: @maripattinson_ (it’s in Portuguese, but everything related to imagines is posted in English!).

Sorry for any misspelled words, I’ve done my best to correct everything I could find during my readings!

Thank you for your support!

#ed sheeran #teddy sheeran #teddysphotos #ed sheeran imagine #ed sheeran x reader #imagine #reader insert #ginger #ginger hair #ginger ed #sheerio #sheerios #edward christopher sheeran #ed sheeran fandom #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran gif #teddy sheeran fanfic

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