#listen… memory loss is right up my alley ok

[tbartss]

Forgotten memories (reflex)

#loz #legend of zelda #botw #breath of the wild #zelink #zelda #my art #fanart #art on tumblr #artists on tumblr #this is so olddddd omg #this is almost like… a year old #it was from a time when I was v in my feelings about botw #listen… memory loss is right up my alley ok #anyway have this #while I stew in my art block haha

[crowsmybeloveds]

Shadow and Bone Series: Chapter Two

In Cold Blood

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: The Crows continue to visit Y/N at the Emerald Palace, and make some interesting developments.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Implied suicide (don’t take it too seriously hint hint); abuse; Pekka Rollins; again canon typical violence/slave stuff (this time it’s described more, but again nothing graphic); the Menagerie;

A/N: Thank you so much if you liked the first chapter!!! This one is a little longer and I promise the end isn’t as bad as it might seem.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~

Jesper Fahey liked to do his own thing. Sure, as a member of the Dregs he had to listen to his boss and go on jobs, but he loved his free time in between. Hence, he often avoided going on little arends for Kaz at all costs. It would be a waste of his time.

Jesper Fahey was now talking to Kaz. Volunteering for an arend. For the fourth time this week.

Kaz, Inej, and Jesper had been visiting the girl in the basement regularly since their first meeting with her. Kaz chalked it up to business, the girl and her potions were powerful assets, but the other two would admit they had found a new friend.

There were rules to these visits. First, only go during the day. Even if it seemed counterintuitive to sneak there in the broad daylight, Y/N insisted she would be unavailable in the night, as that was when her “work” was done. Also, if you are there, you must hide well behind the crates, and remain armed. You were lucky every time you made it out of there alive.

It was a daunting task, but Jesper was always up for it.

“You’re going to go there again?” Kaz asked him, eyebrows raised, “You know it’s Inej’s turn, correct?”

“Yes, and I also don’t care,” Jesper answered, “Also, she probably has things to see, people to do, and whatnot. I, on the other hand, have my whole day cleared. And I couldn’t deprive the lovely basement girl of this face.” He smiled, pointing to himself, “I mean, come on.”

Kaz stared at him, seeing through his antics in a minute. Jesper had taken a liking to the girl. What will happen the day he visits to find she’s not there anymore? Kaz thought. His hopes are too high.

“Fine, Jesper,” He agreed, “but be careful not to draw attention.” He scrunched his nose. “Do your best not to dawdle.”

“Right, I’m off then!” Jesper exclaimed as he clapped his hands together and ran off.

“I’m going tomorrow!” Kaz shouted after him.

The sharpshooter knew his boss was suspicious of his actions, but in all honesty he didn’t care. Normally he would have thought there wasn’t much spending time with her could do, as she had told him many of the same things over and over. That must have meant she had told him all that she knew. But Jesper was not going for information, he was going to be with her. He liked to think they were friends.

Jesper was often distracted. Whether he saw a pretty person to flirt with or a table to gamble at, he always found a way to not be doing whatever he was supposed to. Everything around him was so appealing and stimulating, especially in the Barrel. Even so, he sped down the streets without a single double take or second thought as he headed to the Emerald Palace. He really wanted to see her. So bad it was addicting. At first he thought that maybe the girl was drugging him, seeing as that is her particular expertise, but soon he realized that he just liked her. She was funny, and she laughed at all his jokes. She was also so intriguing. So powerful yet rendered powerless. He was enchanted, but he knew something was missing. It seemed it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to help.

That day when he arrived at the window (after making sure no one could see him, of course) Jesper saw Y/N sitting against the wall with her legs hugged to her chest. He called her name softly, and waited for her to reply. She didn’t reply, or even move. Against his better judgement, he shouted louder, risking being discovered by one of Pekka’s crew. He didn’t care. He banged the windows. Praying she would say something. Or turn her head. Or nod. Anything. She didn’t. A single tear rolled down her face.

Y/N had been sitting there for three hours. There wasn’t much to be said about what had happened. Only that she did not remember, whether her loss of memory was intentional or not. It was an off day, that’s all.

Jesper was panicking. He had no idea how to get her to wake up. That is, if she was asleep. Truthfully, he did not know what was wrong with her or what to do. Unfortunately, his noise making had roused a different group of people. Jesper had to run down the alley as he heard shouts coming his direction. He ran the rest of the way home, still in shock. He was not haunted by his near escape with the Dime Lions, but the look on the girl’s face. What had they done to her?

“And she didn’t move at all?” Inej asked. Jesper had just explained to her what happened after he showed up to her room at the Slat. She hadn’t appreciated being woken up from one of her rare naps, but she didn’t complain when she saw the look on his face.

“Not that I could see,” he replied, shaking his head, “Inej, I swear she could hear me.”

Inej did not know what to say. This kind of behavior was not usual for Jesper. He had his normal amount of energy, but it was not often it was all directed to one place: worry. It was odd that something upset him and he did not distract from it by going to gamble or making a joke.

“I just, if it were you I’d understand, but who could ignore me?” he said, “Going unnoticed is not a Jesper talent.”

There it was.

“You’re deflecting” She called him out, “It’s not funny. We should tell Kaz.”

“That's not funny,” Jesper replied, “what is Kaz gonna do? Tell us to stop talking to her?”

Inej sighed. It’s possible that he would advise that. But he also wouldn’t just let Pekka Rollins keep his most dangerous weapon. Especially not when she didn’t seem to have much loyalty. She had told Inej so many times. The girls had a bond due to the Menagerie, and Y/N told her much about her past and present. She explained different chemicals she had made and plans she had heard to Kaz. But with Inej, she explained how she felt about them.

Y/N hated every second in that basement. She had told Inej as much. Repeatedly. But she was rather scatterbrained. She repeated herself often and forgot things that she had already been told. She would forget what day it was and what she had done the night before. Inej had experience with trauma and sleep deprivation enough to shrug this off. She didn’t want to cause her friend anguish by questioning it.

The incident Jesper was describing made her think that maybe she should. Y/N was smart. Hell, she was a self taught Grisha fabrikator. So good, she could kill people from miles away. How could she be so forgetful? Someone so scientifically gifted must have a better mind than that. Someone must have been messing with it.

After some convincing to Jesper that Kaz would not kill or give up on Y/N, the pair made their way to their boss’s office.

“I was waiting for this to happen,” was Kaz’s response.

“What, that’s it?” Jesper raised his voice, “You have nothing else to say?”

Kaz glared at him from his desk. “I don’t know that you thought through your attachment to her, Jesper. You should never have assumed she was on our side.”

Jesper stared bullets at his boss in front of them. They seriously weren’t going to help her at all? She needed to get out of there, he knew that for certain. If it wasn’t because he cared about her then it should be because she is an asset. A good investment. Saints, he hated calling her that.

He didn’t say any of this, however, and instead started to walk out of the office. Just before he was out the door, he heard Brekker speak up.

“I’ll go and see her tomorrow.”

When Kaz Brekker reached the girl’s window, he gave it exactly seven taps with his cane, with a very specific beat. It was a signal he had made with Y/N so that she knew to open the window and talk to him without him having to raise his voice.

The girl turned toward the window at the sound. She set down the bottle she was currently working on and walked over. Kaz started speaking as soon as it was opened.

“How long have they been drugging you?”

Y/N scoffed, “Hello to you, too!”

“How long?”

“Um, never?” She replied, getting confused. “They don’t drug me with anything. I’d notice. That’s kind of my job description.”

Kaz looked to the side, thinking. The only way to explain her odd behavior, forgetfulness, and calmness in her position was that she was being manipulated. And because she was constantly making poisons and “potions” for Pekka, it made sense that she was being given her own drugs without her knowledge. He had thought this since he’d met her. She had to be on some sort of relaxers when he first saw her. Why else would she have so willingly opened the window for strangers?

“Why did you ignore Jesper when he was here yesterday?” He asked, hoping to get the information from her in a more roundabout way.

“I didn’t?” Y/N asked, “Inej was here yesterday, she got those vials of knockout gas you asked for.”

Kaz squinted at her, “Y/N, that was two days ago.”

She shook her head, “No, no, because I was working on those just yesterday and I just finished them when she stopped by. I haven’t seen Jesper in a couple of days, Kaz. Are you feeling ok?”

Kaz wasn’t sure how to react to this. She had missed the whole day? He was sure things like this had been going on this whole time, but never in the month since they began speaking with her has she forgotten a whole day. She had to have taken something.

“Are you self medicating?”

“No! Why- what are you talking about? What is going on?”

“Y/N, Jesper came here yesterday and you were sitting in that corner near catatonic. You wouldn’t speak or even move.” Kaz informed her.

“He must not have shouted loud enough, I was probably asleep.”

“You normally sleep with your eyes open?” He is tone was sharp. “Jesper said you were crying.”

She didn’t respond. She was shocked out of her mind. It was possible Kaz was lying to her to get some sort of information out of her, but it didn’t seem that way. He looked uneasy, the kind of unease that comes from not knowing something. He was a very smart man, and when something did not make sense to him he got nervous. So, this must have actually happened. And if she could not remember it, something was terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry, Kaz. I just don’t remember.”

“Fine. Then I need you to stop eating the food they give you. I’ll have Inej stop by with something to eat during the day.” Kaz paused, thinking. “And I would like to get you out of here, and have you join the Dregs. I just have to figure out how.”

“No, Kaz. I can’t leave.”

“Why? You have loyalties to Pekka Rollins?” He asked, anger clear in his voice.

Do I? She thought. While she knew his treatment of her was unfair, she wondered whether or not she still cared about him. In her time at the Emerald Palace, Pekka had told her many things about how he was the only one who would ever care for her. He claimed that he had saved her from the Menagerie, and he was taking care of her because he loved her. He also said that he would help her find her sister, often claiming that the potions Y/N was making was helping him follow leads about her.

When he started bringing men down into Y/N’s room, she was only a teenager. The first man that had ever touched her in that room also told her information about upcoming trips, which Pekka used to choose the perfect time to rob his house. Y/N felt disgusting in her skin ever since, but Pekka reassured her. I’m sorry , canary. I’ll protect you. Those men are not like me. While any sane person would call giving her food and shelter supplying her basic needs, Pekka called it courtesy. A gift because he loved her. A gift that could be taken away. He let men take advantage of her just so she could get him information, and then called it love. And she believed him. Until one day.

A man had come down into her room, which was usual for her on any given night. However, this man started out rough and stayed that way for the rest of his visit. She had tried her best with past men to get as much information as she could through simple flirting and drugging, but he was not there for small talk. For a brief moment, she considered saying no. In the moment following, she remembered what happened the other times she had done so.

She didn’t get any of the information she had been asked to draw from the man. Pekka was livid. The argument following had been explosive and painful. Not just emotionally.

“This isn’t love.” She tried to say it in a firm voice, but it came out broken and weak.

“How could you possibly know?” Pekka replied.

“Because you don’t deny it.” She said, summoning the strength to look up at him. “The men who come down here sometimes mention their wives. They might not be the pinnacle of married men, but I know they would never do this. This is bad for me.”

“Oh, is it so bad for you?” He raised his voice. “And who is going to treat you better, hm? Who out there would possibly care about you like I do?”

She turned her back to him. She sniffled as she cleaned up her worktable, silently hoping he would just leave.

He grabbed her arm, whipping her around to face him. “I don’t care if you hate me. You will stay here because of Anais. You will stay because you need me.”

The memory was scarring.

Kaz watched as Y/N got lost in her own thoughts. His voice startled her out of her memories. “Y/N, do you have loyalties to him?”

“My sister, Anais.” She breathed. “He is helping me find my sister.”

“Is that all?”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I need to find her. Have you ever had any siblings?”

Kaz paused for a moment. The comment seemed to toy with him. “No.”

“Then you don’t get it. I want to be with people I belong with. To figure out where I’m from.” She sighed. “Pekka is helping me with that.”

“And he has proven that he is actually doing so?”

“He said that he knew she was involved with the slavers who took me away. He is getting in with them to try and figure out where they took her.”

“Y/N, I don’t think he is actually doing that.” Kaz said, shaking his head. “This is your reason for staying?”

“And I have nowhere else to go!”

Kaz took a deep breath. He had decided what he was going to do for the girl since the day he met her. She was an asset. With her power he could complete jobs and gain kruge with record speed. Not to mention, if Kaz had her on his side, Pekka didn’t. The sweet taste of revenge covered his tongue just at the thought.

“I have an offer,” he began, “You come with me. Not now, but soon. I’ll come everyday to ask questions and we’ll plan your escape. In the meantime, you gather your things discreetly and try to find as much dirt on Rollins as you can.”

“But my sister -“

“If you are a part of the Dregs, you will help when asked, but the rest of your time is yours. Look for your sister, gamble your money away, take up baking, — I don’t care. You’ll be free.”

The offer was good. Great, actually. So why was she hesitating? Was Pekka’s manipulation really enough to make her turn away an opportunity like this? I don’t know.

And what about Kaz? Could she really trust him? The man wanted her for her powers, too. How was he different from Pekka? In her limited experience, he wasn’t. I should stay.

But Jesper. In the short while she had known him, Jesper had become her favorite part of being alive. And Inej, who was the kindest soul she had ever encountered. If they were with Kaz, he couldn’t be the demon he tried to be. At least not like Pekka. I should go. I should have gone a long time ago.

“Deal.”

In the weeks following, Kaz came every day to discuss every aspect of the Emerald Palace with her, in the hopes that he could get her out. Getting her out of the building would be simple, but keeping her from being hunted by the Dime Lions for the rest of her days would be complicated. The plan would have to be completely airtight, so Kaz needed time.

A few days later, Jesper was at the window speaking with her. The other members of the dregs would often visit along with Kaz and stay to talk to her, or they might come in his place. Today, after describing her entire tailoring process to Kaz, Y/N was speaking to Jesper about music.

“It’s like this huge golden machine made by Fabrikators, right?” Y/N smiled as she excitedly spoke. “And you take this small disc, place it on the machine and put the needle on it, and then music comes out!”

Jesper grinned at her. He loved the way she looked when she was excited about something. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one before.”

“Well, it’s wonderful,” she sighed, “Not to mention there’s thousands of the disc things, and each one is a different song. I wish more people had them than just the rich men who can afford it. I mean I wish I could have one.”

The two had been known to discuss things that had nothing to do with her escape, which Kaz had scolded them for plenty of times. But they enjoyed talking to each other, and they often got distracted. Odd topics of discussion were bound to happen whether they liked it or not. However, when Jesper realized that they had strayed from their original reason for speaking, he redirected the conversation.

“So, you get tailored nearly everyday?”

“Well, whenever anyone comes to see me. Only Pekka knows what I really look like. And you and your friends. Maybe it's a security thing.” She told him, thinking as she spoke. “Also, if anyone sees me who isn’t supposed to, I’m meant to drug them so they forget. Pekka really just does not want anyone knowing I’m here. Some bastard might try to steal me away.”

Jesper smirked at her. “I cannot imagine who would ever do something like that.”

Visits were going relatively well. Kaz had nearly enough information to finalize his plan for her escape, so he visited less and less. Y/N was becoming a solid member of the Crows even though she had so little time with them. She matched Jesper’s humor, built trust with Inej, and had a shared anger for Pekka with Kaz.

Today was Inej’s day to go visit Y/N, and she was running rather late. She knew the girl had mentioned not to visit after the sun went down, but Inej had been busy all day and could only find time to make it to the window after dark. When she got there, however, she realized why Y/N had made the warning.

When she looked through the window, she noticed that Y/N was not alone. When she looked closer, she realized Y/N was with Pekka Rollins. Luckily, Inej was the Wraith, she could watch what happened next without being seen.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to eat your dinner,” She heard Rollins speak first, in the most condescending tone she had ever heard. “Not after I worked so hard to get your favorite.”

Y/N sat on her cot, avoiding eye contact. “Not hungry.”

Rollins grabbed her by the jaw roughly, forcing her to look at him. Inej noticed tears shining in Y/N’s eyes. “Not hungry, hm? We both know that’s not true.” He laughed, with a terrifying lack of humor behind it. “Why are you lying to me, canary?”

The girl shook her head as the tears fell down her face.

“Your tears will do you no good.” Rollins snarled. “Do not forget what you are.” He paused, raising a brow. “What are you?”

The girl sniffled and didn’t respond.

“What are you?” He shouted and raised his voice this time, causing her to shake.

“A canary.” She whispered out.

“Good, and if I give you a song...”

He raised her chin higher, prompting her to finish his words. “I sing it.” The words fell from her lips like something rehearsed, but unbearably painful.

He gave a tight lipped smile. “Right. Don’t forget it again.” He sat down next to her and handed her the plate she had sat on the table beside her. “Now you eat and I’ll tell you about the man who is coming here tonight.”

Inej felt like she was going to throw up as she travelled the rooftops of Ketterdam back to the Crow Club. She knew Y/N was being mistreated at the Emerald Palace, but seeing it take place was something entirely apart.

As she walked in the doors of the club she felt a presence beside her. She looked over to see Jesper walking with her. He must have been guarding the door. He was waiting to ask a question.

“Yes, Jesper, I went to see her.” Inej spoke to him, her voice rough.

“And?”

“And Pekka Rollins was there.”

Jesper stopped in his tracks. “Saints, is she ok? Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Inej assured, “But I’m not sure about Y/N. He is anything but gentle with her. And he forced her to eat the dinner he gave her. I don’t think she’s gonna be able to avoid the drugs they give her anymore. If only she could remember to take an antidote before her mind goes.”

“Shit, we need to get her out of there, soon.”

The pair once again went to Kaz to discuss the girl, only to find him at his desk, writing furiously with two bottles in front of him.

“Kaz, Inej -“ Jesper was cut off.

“She told me how she’s been killing all those people.” Kaz stared at the bottle in front of him, observing it scientifically.

Inej and Jesper looked at each other before looking back at their boss. What was he on about?

“I don’t understand.” Inej had a confused look on her face as she tried her best to make eye contact with Kaz. She wanted to try and read him like she knew she could, but right now the man in front of her was like a blank page.

“Y/N. She gives them a liquid of her own design, but it isn’t poisonous,” He kept his eyes trained on his work, “At least not until she makes it poisonous. She can give someone poison hours in advance but it kills them right at the perfect moment. Right when she can get away. And, once they are dead, she can change it back to something nontoxic. It’s flawless: not a single trace is left.”

“Great, boss,” Jesper said, growing impatient. “Can we talk about why we are here?”

Kaz frowned, “What, because you want to get Y/N out sooner? She’s in a terrible situation?”

“Exactly,” Inej pleaded.

“If I tried to save everyone in the Barrel I’d be broke by dawn.” Kaz said, looking back at his work. Inej and Jesper stood there in shock. “If you don’t have anything else to say…”

Inej placed a hand up to keep Jesper from exploding. “Kaz, you told us that you would help her escape.”

“I needed information, Wraith, you wouldn’t help me if I told the truth.”

Jesper spoke up, “So you lied to us? And what did you tell her?”

“Nothing. She’s prepared to leave the Emerald Palace tonight.” Kaz tsked. “I doubt she’ll make it two feet out the building without our help. Solves all of my problems.”

Without another word, Inej slipped out of the room, leaving the boys to fight. Through the walls, she heard muffled shouting.

“How could you? You act like you have nothing you believe in but really you are so terrible that you’ve made yourself your own Saint!” Jespers voice was desperate, filled with rage. The betrayal he felt was clear even though he was muffled. He sniffed. “Put too much faith in that saint and he’ll kill your friends.”

Inej cringed, hating the harsh truths her friend was sending toward her boss. She had always known partnership with Kaz would mean conflict, but it also meant freedom. She and Jesper often commented on their cold-hearted boss. “We are both too good for him.” Jesper would laugh as he said it, but now it seemed to be a reason to leave. But where would they go? When it came to Kaz Brekker, no one was better, and no one was worse.

One thing was for certain, Inej was not going to let her friend die. She had just pulled Y/N up from the grave, and she’d be damned if she let Kaz Brekker push her back in. If he was so certain the girl would be dead by tomorrow, she’d get to her before then. She didn’t have time for Kaz’s lectures and Jesper’s shouting. There was a life at stake. She begged the Saints to help her, but deep down she knew that this was up to her and her knives. If Inej couldn’t save Y/N, the Wraith would.

When she reached the Emerald Palace, a nauseous feeling spread throughout her stomach. She willed her hands to stop shaking, but the tremor remained. She reached the window after carefully checking her surroundings and gasped at what she saw. Nothing remained in Y/N’s room but a white letter and dark ash, both standing out against the gray stone floor. Inej frowned in confusion. So, she is gone. Where could she be?

Y/N was a smart girl, she could be out of Ketterdam by now. However, she had barely had any human contact and had been drugged and manipulated for years. If she was not already found by Pekka Rollins, she could have already been killed on the street. But no one knew who she was, and only Pekka and the Crows knew what she truly looked like. She had become one huge question.

Suddenly, Inej remembered something.. Specifically, a conversation she had with Y/N not long ago.

Inej, this might be the worst thing I’ve ever made. She had said, a fire in her eyes.

Then why are you smiling? Inej replied.

Look! Y/N had pulled a thin glass bottle of a swirling liquid and a small flower out from behind her back. She then poured a drop of the bottle on the flower, which disintegrated into a pile of ash within seconds.

Saints. Inej was amazed.

Wild, huh? Footsteps came from the stairwell in the corner of the room. Shit. Inej, go. Inej hesitated. Go! He’ll see you!

Now, looking at the large pile of ash on the floor of the room, Inej realized what had happened.

“Saints,” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “She’s drunk it.”

She heard footsteps approaching in the alley, and immediately grabbed two of her knives, ready to protect herself.

“Easy,” Jesper appeared, holding his hands out toward her. “It’s just me.”

Inej lowered her knives as she stared back at him. “We’re too late, Jes. She’s gone.”

He laughed, nervous. “No, she wouldn’t.” He lowered himself down to the window. “No.”

Inej stood up and looked up at the stars, praying to any Saint that she could think of that she wasn’t dead. That her friend was out there somewhere. Alive. “Jesper, we need to get out of here.”

“But,” Jesper paused, his voice weak. “She was just here.”

“She’s not anymore.” Inej looked at him with pity. She could tell how much the girl had meant to him. “I’m sorry.”

“She was just here.” He repeated, voice cracks littering his words.

Inej grabbed his hand, forcing him out of this frozen state. “I know, Jes. I’m sorry.”

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #jesper fahey x you

[dabiboy]

Another self-indulgent piece I came with last night at 1am. 

Author’s note: Angst, kinda fluff. The characters here are Dabi, Natsuo, Rei and y/n. And a small originial one, he. Also, let me know if you’d like a part two!

Rencounter [Part 1?]

There was blood all over the places, heroes saving the ones who were waiting for hope under pieces of concrete, missing kids looking or their parents, total mayhem. But that was not it, as if that chaos was not enough, a broken human being was broadcasting live his story, telling the world that him, Touya Todoroki, better known as Dabi was Endeavor's first son, abused and tortured, used as an object for his own ego and selfishness. A kid tossed aside who ended up being a monster because of his father's sins.

You didn't even know when it happened, but the fight got even bigger, backups arrive and a few bullets got into Dabi's body in an attempt knocking him down, but his adrenaline and his pain were keeping him awake, taking pain. He had suffered more than that. Another building collapsed, filling the surroundings with dust and blinding the witnesses. You ran over Dabi, who was now laying on the floor because of the blood loss and probably because of the strong emotions he was having. You could see it among the dusty space, Endeavor walking towards you. He looked defeated, wounded as if he had committed the worst of crimes, and in fact, he did.

''Take him away from here'' he said.

He didn't know you, but he quickly assumed what he meant to you by the way you were begging him to open his eyes.

After making Dabi stand back on his feet, barely awake you held him by his waist and held his writs as his arm was across your neck. You dragged him into an alley, all alone and away from everyone's sight. An old friend owned you a favor, and better said, this 'friend' had said you could call him anytime, for anything, so you had to call him immediately once you felt trapped and almost in despair without knowing what to do or where to go.

...........................................

''Thank you, Hao'' you said from the back seat to the old man driving in the middle of the night.

''Don't thank me. You're my sunflower's grandaughter, how could I leave you there?'' He said with a relaxed smile, despite having a wounded villain in the backseat, and you smile at the nickname.

''I would always be thankful for this, you can't stop me'' You laughed weakly. ''Are you sure is it safe there?''

''It is'' He spoke slowly ''There are a few people in the village, and they know me too so, they shouldn't bother you. Besides, the house is quite far from the village so maybe no one will know you're there'' 

''You can... You can leave me a few steps away. I know it is hard for you to be there'' you looked out the window, caressing Dabi's hair.

''Ah, don't worry about it little cherry. Good memories are good to be remembered, and in that house, your grandmother and I were happier than anyone. Time was little but wise.''

You felt a tear running down your cheek and you couldn't tell if it was because of Hao's words or because of the wounded and deplorable Dabi resting in your lap, whining when the car went over a bump. Hao understood you better than anyone, he was... The only person you could trust this hiding and help. A long time ago, he was your grandmother's lover, a secret relationship that no one knew of. She decided to leave her husband and ran away with Hao, a young thief at that time, a man who worked for the ones that paid, a man who did things that not even the wind knows about. A man who loved your grandmother despite his actions. In the end, faith played its part and took them away from each other, but their love was the greatest you've heard of, and the relationship you had with Dabi was pretty similar. As a child, you couldn't comprehend why your blood grandparent didn't like him, and you could understand it when you were older, when your grandmother told you to find a love like that one on her lasts minutes of life. You could swear your grandmother was there, smiling with compassion as she looked at you, telling you to be brave and stay by his side. Just as she did with Hao.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you couldn't notice when you arrived, but there you were. An old and feudal looking house in the middle of the countryside, and you could see the small lights from the village a few miles away. Hao helped to take Dabi out and get him inside the house.

As you set the tatami on the floor, the old man light up the fireplace and left you a bowl of warm water and some towels.

''I'll be in the village if you need anything'' He said standing up.

''Thank you, again. As soon as all of this chaos is over I'll make you some dumplings'' you said giving him a tired but honest smile.

''I don't think they'll be as good as the ones your grandmother used to make, but I'll give them a try'' Hao laughed and patted your shoulder. ''Be sure of remembering him that you love him. A man like him needs to remember that''

Those were the lasts words he said before leaving the house. You heard the car engine start again as the sound vanished faster.

You get rid of Dabi's clothes, leaving him only in his underwear and covered with a blanket until mid torso. His body was wounded, there was dry blood around the staples and you were sure one was infected, was it gonna be his end? You could only wait. You hand washed his clothes and set them next to the fireplace. Using the towels and a bit more clean warm water, you washed his body softly, his face, his arms. He looked so different with his eyes closed and a calm expression on his face. Once you were done, you laid by his side, supporting your body weight on your shoulder so you could look at him and wondered how he would look like without his scars, just curiosity though, because you loved him. Scars and all. And then, another painful yet beautiful moment came to your head.

''Stop looking. You fucking weirdo'' Dabi said with his eyes closed, a hand behind his head.

''I'm not looking'' You lied, laughing and pressing a kiss on his cheek making him open your eyes and give you a look.

''Besides a weirdo, you're a terrible liar'' He lifted an eyebrow and smiled at you.

''Well, sorry. I can't help looking at the handsome naked bastard by my side.'' You kept your smile and kissed him again but he scoffed.

''Bastard yes, but I'm far from being handsome dollface. I look like a fucking puzzle, made out of different parts'' He laughed, but you knew he meant every word.

''Listen here, you jerk'' You said straddling his hips ''I like you. Every part of you. The scars around your eyes'' You pressed a soft kiss on the burnt skin ''Your jaw, and mouth,'' again, you pressed kisses along his jaw and a chaste kiss on his lip ''Your neck,'' repeating the actions, you got to his chest ''This I love too'' you kissed his scarred chest, longer than the other kisses ''I don't care how you look like. Your scars? They're a reminder of how strong you are, of how many shits you were able to take. And here you are. Alive, with me'' You caressed his cheek with your hand, and he was at a loss for words.

Pulling you from your nape, he crashed his lips on yours. It was a soft yet deep kiss, and you could feel everything that he wanted to say to you. I love you, I fucking love you.

Knock knock.

The sound took you out of your thoughts and you were back in the old house, Dabi still sleeping, but now? He was looking a bit more uncomfortable. He was sweating, his breathing was more erratic, he looked like he had a fever and maybe the infection he had was causing problems.

You stood up and walked to the door, was it that Hao forgot something? You were expecting to see him, but when you opened the main door your jaw draw and your eyes got wider.

''W-what... What are you- How are you here?'' You asked in disbelief. 

''We,'' Natsuo took a deep breath, he looked as if he had been running ''We followed you. But the taxi driver left us quite far from here because he said the road was too lonely,'' He stopped again and took a deep breath ''We just assume you were here and not in the village'' 

''Please, where is he'' Rei, holding his hand on his thighs and trying to catch her breath said ''I need to see him''

You weren't sure about what to say, Dabi exposed Endeavor earlier and maybe the hero society was about to end, and they were there. Wanting to see the most wanted criminal. Or should I say, their son and brother.

They walked in as you closed the door behind you and guide them to where Dabi was laying. Natsuo stopped right in his tracks, breath caught in his throat as his eyes filled with tears at the sight of his older brother. Rei, on the other hand, looked calmer but she was processing everything. The son she thought was dead was there, breathing.

They both walked and sat on the floor next to him as you sat on the other side. Rei took his hand as a tear escaped from her eyes and Natsuo layed a hand on her shoulder.

''Is he... Is he ok?'' She asked you shyly.  

''I don't know, he's been sweating and... And I don't know what to do, he has lost a lot of blood and even though I took it off, it looks as if one of the staples got infected'' 

''Good thing I came prepared'' Natsuo let out a sad smile, grabbing his bag. Right, he worked in the medical field so he knew what to do.

As he cleaned and disinfected the red area, Rei was still looking at him. And the expressionless face she had in the begging was now one full of sadness, pain, and remorse. You and Natsuo exchanged a few words, it was not the best way of meeting each other but there you were. When he was done, he sat back next to his mother, both of them looking at the body resting on the tatami. It was hard, for both of them. Dabi looked unrecognizable, the only familiar trait was his hair. Now white, after washing it in front of Endeavor. His eyes were familiar too, but those turquoise eyes were closed. Rei felt filled with guilt, she couldn't save him and now he was a wanted villain, a man that had lost everything. Her son was there but at the same time, it was not. Natsuo felt that way too, and he remembered every time Dabi told him he wanted to disappear, all the times that he questioned his existence,  and he wanted nothing more than to apologize and to ask him a lot of questions. It was his big brother after all. And you? You wanted to kiss him, to tell him how much you love him, to make him remember that he was not alone, that he had you by his side. After a few minutes of long silence, Dabi's voice made you all looked in awe.

''Please... Please just...'' His voiced crack and he furrowed his eyebrows, he was having a nightmare ''Just make it stop,'' the sweat was more evident as he spoke, his heartbeat going faster ''I can't take it anymore, it hurts, it fucking hurts'' His voice was stronger in the last sentence, and Rei and Natsuo had no clue on what to do.

''Dabi?'' You called his name, hand on his hair.

''I'll train harder tomorrow, dad'' He hissed, it was as if he was feeling everything he felt back then ''Just let me go with mom today, please'' It was the first time you heard such words, such vulnerability. And your heart was breaking more and more ''I'll be a hero but give me time'' He hissed again, a cracking sound leaving his throat ''But please make it stop'' this time his voice was low, a rare high pitch resembling pain ''It's hurting me''

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, and the two other Todoroki's were looking like you too. You were all broken in front of such words, knowing all the pain that Endeavor made him go through when he was just a child.

''Mom...'' He called out and Rei opened his eyes and got closer to him ''Help me'' Dabi's eyes were still closed and he had a painful furrowed expression ''Make this stop, I beg you'' Rei put a hand over her mouth, controlling her sobs.  

''Dabi, hey. Wake up, c'mon'' You said, leaving various kisses on his forehead. ''You're here, with me. It is me, y/n'' you said again, and you moved in such way his head was now on your thigh, as you spoke against his forehead. He opened his eyes, and the two other white-haired surprise guests were even more in shock when they saw the color of his eyes. Same as Enji, same as Shoto. 

''Y/n?'' He said weakly, smiling tiredly when he recognized you and only you in his deplorable and wounded state ''You're still here'' 

''Of course, I'm here... I'm not leaving you'' You whispered, and noticed  how his eyes moved towards Natsuo, and Rei. 

''Did I fucking die already?'' His voice was raspy and he coughed, closing his eyes again.

''Let's give them some space, mom. We will come back when he's awake'' Natsuo told to her mother, trying to ease her crying as he stood up and walked out of the room, giving you a look that said take care of him, we'll be here when he's better.

''Y/n'' Dabi called, making you look at him again

''Yes?'' You said, still playing with his white locks, some of them still looked a bit grey because of the black hair dye he used.

''Don't let my father come near me, it still hurts'' He was having delirious again, and you noticed when his eyes looked disoriented.  

''I won't... It is just you and me, ok? I won't leave your side, I promise''

He gave you one last look before closing his eyes one more time, the medicaments Natsuo gave him were working, and the sweat was becoming less and less. He was going to be better by the morning, now, the real question was... How was he going to react with his mother and his brother there? You prayed it didn't affect any of them, but the truth was that it was going to be impossible to control their emotions, after all... They still shared blood, and the two of them? There were just two more victims of a man's sins, of a past that still haunts them. However, as long as you were by Dabi's side, you were going to hold his hand just as you were doing now, because there was no way in hell you were going to leave him. Not a chance, even if the things morning next were going to be complicated, you were going to be there for him. With him.

With Dabi, or Touya. It doesn't matter. He was the man you loved, and despite the hardness of things you were going to be there.

#bnha+dabi #dabi #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #boku no hero academia #dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #mha dabi

[the-record]

Love at First Sight

Hey! This is my first fic so please don't come at me for the absolutely horribleness of it bc I suck at writing. (Also if you notice mistaken in the beginning its bc I’m writing on my phone bc I’m to lazy to get my laptop)

Category: FLUFF ABSOLUTE FLUFF

Warnings: None (In this part.)

Spencer Reid x Fem! reader

A/N: Hey! This is a totally fluff slow burn. There will be multiple parts bc I suck that way. Enjoy!

Part 2

You stop right outside the doors, an old gym bag and a cardboard box in hand. You were totally qualified for this job, a masters in criminal psychology and a PhD in forensic science. Not to mention your IQ of 185 and photographic, more properly eidetic, memory. Yet as you stood outside the glass doors of the bullpen, your heart was racing and you felt like you were going to pass out. As you were about to open the doors you hear a voice and a hand grabs it for you.

"Hey, careful there, might drop you stuff." You look up to see a tall, dark, muscular man staring down at you. You smile at him and nod.

"Thanks." He nods as you walk through the doors. "Hey, do you know where Agent Hotchners office is?" You turn around to face him as you ask your question.

"You must be Emily's replacement. Just up the stairs, his door is open. Good luck." As you flash your smile as a thank you, he turns away to his desk and you walk up the stairs, knocking at the door in front of you.

"Come in." As he looks up at you, he shows a slight smile but not much. "Ah, SSA Y/L/N. Please sit down, you can put your stuff on the floor next to you." You set the box and bag inches away from the chair that you sit in. "Now, normally I would brief you on the job, but as you worked in the New York office before and we have a case, that will have to be put on hold. Welcome to the team, you will fit in nicely." You smile at him as he stands up to lead you to where they would brief the case.

You have finally started to calm down, but as you walk through the whole team stares at you, apart from a man sitting reading a book.

"Good morning, sorry for the early start. This is SSA Y/N Y/L/N. She will be starting today." As you bite on you cheek a kind voice speaks up.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer but you can call we JJ. Welcome to the team." She gives you a warm welcoming smile and you return with yours.

"Derek Morgan." It's the man who opened the door for me just minutes ago. "Good to put a name to a face." Your smile doesn't fade, you feel welcomed for once, and thankfully it's not a boys club.

"David Rossi." You look up excited at the man introducing himself.

"Wait, really? I have read your books, you are a great writer." He chuckles as you look at him, remembering the lines from his book.

Before he can say anything else a peppy, bright colored women steps in. "Well hello! You must be Y/N. Good to meet you! I'm Penelope Garcia but you can really call me whatever. I think you will make wonder boy over there have a run for his money." You look at her confused. "Sorry dear, I may have read up on you, I do it for every new addition to our team. You laugh a little as she says this.

"Baby girl, what do you mean by Reid is gonna have a run for is money?" She looks at him.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. Y/N over here is incredibly smart. What an IQ of 185 and eidetic memory? And I think it said you can read 16,000 words per minute, right?" You smile and nod. You have always been very proud of your gifts but never boasted about them, that's unkind.

"Well well well pretty boy," The man reading the book finally looks up as Derek ruffles his hair. "Looks like you might need to move aside as resident genius. Go ahead, tell the girl about yourself." He looks up at you. You try not to blush as he looks at you, the most handsome man you have ever seen.

"Uh hi. I'm Dr. Reid. Spencer. I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute." You two are so alike but so different. Your talents are similar but your personalities are definitely different. He barely looks up from his book and speaks softly, while you look people in the eyes when talking and are a loud talker, something you need to work on.

"Well, I guess you guys are right. Watch out Dr. Reid, I might just steal the spotlight." In his eyes you did that the moment you walked in. He had looked up for a moment but got shy when he saw you. And when he heard how Penelope had spoke of you, he could barely contain a smile.

"Ok, Garcia go ahead." You sit down next to JJ as she points to the empty seat next to her.

"Portland Oregon. A dj name Jay Johnson was on his way home after leaving the club. He was cutting through an alley when bludgeoned by a club. He was stabbed 31 times and his watch, cell, and computer were stolen. That was 2 days ago." As she continues you read the case file in front of you, quickly getting in all the details.

"Early this morning a Karen Heywood a 30 year old nurse, she died during a home invasion being stabbed 40 times after being bludgeoned by weapons of opportunity." You look at her.

"The file says that there were 8 weapons."

"So we are looking for a group?" Rossi speaks up.

"Most likely, we only have 9 hours until night fall. We can discuss more on the jet. Wheels up in 10." You stand up as Hotch finishes talking. JJ grabs your arm.

"Hey, slow down. Sit." You look at her confused and slowly sit down. "I saw you blushing at Reid." Your jaw drops as she says this.

"I was not!" She looks at you brows raised and smiling.

"Don't even deny it. I saw it with my own eyes, but be warned, Derek and Garcia will make fun of you if you don't stop being so obvious about it." I smile and walk away to go get my stuff only to see Derek carrying it to a desk.

"Oh. Thanks." He smiles at you.

"No problem kid." You grab your bag and head to the jet following the rest.

***

After Hotch finishes and we are all left to do what we want I go to sit by Spencer noticing the book he is reading. "Do you like Arthur Conan Doyle?" He is reading 'The Narrative of John Smith' a classic.

"Hm? Oh, uh yeah. You know his books?" You smile and nod.

"I love them. My favorite writings of his are the Sherlock Holmes ones, I'm a kid at heart, what can I say." He laughs a little closing his book. "Oh I didn't mean to interrupt you. You can keep reading. I was actually going to come over and read too I just-" He stops you talking.

"No, no you're fine. I was just finishing it anyways." You smile at him, your face starting to burn. "I was going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" You nod.

"A green tea would be nice."

"You know green tea is really beneficial. It helps improve brain function, helps prevent cancers and type 2 diabetes, can help with weight loss, sorry. I tend to ramble." You smile at him.

"No, don't worry. I do the same. Continue. Please." He smiles and continues but you don't listen. You're to busy looking at his features. Beautiful honey gold eyes that could put you in a trance. His hair was wavy but well kept. His cheek bones and jaw were strong. All you could think about was him.

"Y/N?" Oh shit, you had been practically ignoring him. "Are you ok?" You nod.

"Yeah sorry, just spaced off." He lost his smile. "Oh, Spen- Dr. Reid, it's not you. I just tend to space off a lot, ask any of my friends and family." His smile came back to his face. It's your favorite thing about him.

"I will got get you that tea. Honey?" You nod.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #mgg

[moonchildsaurora]

The social butterfly of a Tech Genius

»»—— Crew Member #6 of Space Pirates ATEEZ ——««

all aboard The Perihelion, welcome to the co-pilot’s log system! here you’ll be able to access the crew’s profiles should you wish to read about their journeys: (no nsfw content)

[CAPTAIN] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

an underestimated intellect with huge love for the cyber world and technology  

you hear him before you see him in a crowd

a Drex’un who was born and lived his life in the technology-thriving city of Vollurn up until he was invited to join Hongjoong and Seonghwa on their journey

[database file: Drex’uns are often described as demon-borne even though not all bloodlines are derived from infernal ancestry. Purely for the fact that prominent horns protude from their heads, a prehensile tail that’s used for grabbing things and will coil around their legs when upset/nervous, sharp canines and eye colours that cover the entire sclera. Depending on bloodline, some Drex’uns have elemental abilities]

Mingi isn’t sure about his bloodline as he never knew his parents, though his intelligence goes far beyond that of an average being’s. Not only does he process knowledge extremely fast, his memory is remarkable; able to recall even the tiniest details and his ability to analyse/break codes allows him to have free reign in the cyber networks

his teal-coloured horns and tail have onyx gradient tips, adorned with a few gold jewellery (his actual ears are also pierced with hoops) to complement his molten gold eyes

making heads turn, be it for his energetic presence or fashionable attire; “just because I grew up on the streets doesn’t mean I have no pride for my looks”

learnt to be resourceful and street-smart at a young age, knows all the short cuts and side alleys of the city like the back of his hand (he’s had a lot of time to wander around). Also found out that he had a knack for by-passing security systems whenever he needed shelter for the night

frequents the ‘Merripalace Arcade’ where it’s both an underground hangout for tech whizzes and the cyber battlegrounds for competitive players. The first visit gave him a taste of a different kind of freedom and an introduction to the world of hacking. It’s probably one of the few places he’s felt a part of a community; no judgement of your species nor your background but rather your digital reputation is more valued and the sort of technological talents you bring to the network

if there’s one thing Mingi is a natural at it’s socialising, he could walk into a club alone and come back out later with a new social circle if he so wishes

“ok who DON’T you know here?”

“just look at that face, how can you say no to him?” – Mingi is walking proof that Drex’uns can pull off the puppy-dog face and get away with it

he was gifted a second-hand mirage drive by Einux, a Nagzoid [database file: a reptilian humanoid being with serpent ancestry so they tend to have more snake-like features] who became a shot-term mentor figure after Mingi unintentionally helped crack a system code for a database Einux was commissioned to work on (because Mingi thought that guy was just really bad at math on first glance)

[database file: a mirage drive is pretty much a miniature tablet with a hologram touch-screen and every tech whizz would protect theirs with their lives; especially when were layers of secret activities and programs stored into it]

“you remembered to wipe clean the data trail and replace the originals with the dud files right?”

“yeah of course...does planting a virus in the system that will cause ‘Time Warp’ to play every time they try to click open a file counts?”

“Mingi, I…….”  

Einux introduced Mingi to his network of contacts and helped set him up with his first commission, safe to say Mingi was at a loss for words when he got his first pay up front (and that was just the deposit)

by the time Yunho had come across Mingi at the Tech Institute, he had been in the cyber scene for 4+ years already and never once had to deal with someone catching him in the act  

Mingi.exe has stopped working

he’s met a couple of Sheirzois before but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t lowkey checking out the blue-haired giant whilst panicking on the inside, he’d argue there’s always time to appreciate beauty

two options popped into his mind then and there; either he bribed his way out (as his mentor taught him) or he attempted to maybe throw some punches and then make a getaway

(expectation) looks like he’s intimidating & can fight vs. (reality) he’d probably cry if he hit someone & is just a soft boy all-round

extra trivia: ironically for an infernal being, Mingi doesn’t deal well with anything supernatural/ghosts-related. Once Woo and Yeosang pranked him, Yunho helped a little but he doesn’t need to know, and convinced him that the basement storage hanger was haunted after totems started appearing in odd places along with ominous noises. Mingi was so ready to abandon ship before Hongjoong did damage control & Jongho promised he’d fight all the ghosts for him 

was already metaphorically weeping at the thought of having to empty his money pouch but turned out that Otis (his multi-coding bot) had somehow manage to win the Sheirzoi over along with an invite to drinks

“I’ve got many questions for you regarding your efficiently adorable bot”

“…and I to you as well, BUT first do you have a name? And secondly have you been to ‘Le Apollon’? Coz if not they make some really mean Northern Drops there!”

Yunho turned out to be one of the most chilled individual Mingi has met and he didn’t mind the other’s enthusiastic discussions about all technological inventions, and was even just as enthusiastic to share with Yunho about his own passion for cyber tech

one too many drinks later Mingi was accidentally spilling secrets he definitely wasn’t meant to and even ended up dancing on the table at some point, all while Yunho hyped his new friend up on the side

was forever grateful that Yunho never ratted him out to the authorities and consider him shook for the 2nd time in that day when he was offered a roof over his head, a more permanent one too

“do you want to be the big spoon, or is it my turn? We can rotate!” 

thus the bromance of all bromances was born

living with Yunho not only meant Mingi would wake up to good vibes, but more than often would wake up to either the screeching of the smoke alarm or “HOLY SMOKES WHERE ARE THE WATER PODS? DID WE RUN OUT OF THEM? AGAIN?!”

putting out accidental fires became second nature to Mingi, initially he’d aggressively fret over Yunho but now he’s come to accept such is the life of a chaotic bright inventor and this is fine

in fact when Hongjoong and Seonghwa came across their humble abode (thanks to Yunho’s cleaning bot) it was an iconic first meeting over smoke. Yunho did most of the talking when Hongjoong pitched his desire to recruit a crew for space voyage, Mingi too busy sitting there staring at the two new-comers with shooting stars in his eyes and hearing about the prospects of an adventure. Within that day the crew had gain 2 more members, because Mingi and Yunho are a combo package deal

“oh has the system be glitching? If you don’t mind, would you like me to have a look at it?”

Hongjoong did a happy dance on the spot knowing that not only did he now have a talented inventor on his ship but also a gifted tech genius, he put Mingi in charge of managing the mainframe systems along with intel collecting this decision that Hongjoong would later semi-regret because (at times) the word “self-control” doesn’t seem to exist in Mingi’s vocab

Seonghwa adopted him and Yunho pretty easily and space mum’s cooking is Mingi’s fave, occasionally using his puppy-dog face he’s perfected over the years to his advantage in gaining extra midnight snacks (being everyone’s baby, no one’s really immune to this)

“Hwa you’re supposed to be the one disciplining the kids!”

Mingi and Yunho were known to be the chaotic fun duo, but with Wooyoung is just chaotic – not to mention he got his Yunhogizer confiscated by Hongjoong for almost a week after, “I thought we were all comparing assets, Wooyoung sent his to the group chat so I figured this was some kind of crew bonding”

also was one half of the reason that the ‘whatever happens at the Tav/clubs, stays at the Tav/clubs’ rule got implemented and one-night sexytimes were banned aboard The Perihelion after Jongho witnessed a random still semi-nude humanoid trying to sneak out of Mingi’s room without being noticed (Hwa went on parent-mode and panicked yell whilst covering Jongho’s eyes)

Jongho avoided Mingi (out of sheer embarrassment) for a few days and that was pretty devastating, considering how close the two became in their friendship that Mingi was one of the very few people in the crew whom Jongho was openly clingy with at times

no one can argue about Mingi’s loyalty to his crew/new family, and under his care-free flamboyant exterior he’s a genuine listener and will not hesitate to offer his shoulder for his family to lean on whenever they need it

recently he’s created new software to enhance Seonghwa’s cybernetic lenses (as a birthday gift) that’d allow him to see clearly miles ahead, in the dark and lock-on tracking function. What Mingi failed to let Hwa know was that he still hasn’t disconnected the sync link to his mirage drive and therefore if, for example, an image was sent through it’d appear in the other user’s field of vision

“wait for it, wait”

“what exactly are we waiting for Mingi? And why are you giggling over a screaming pink…starfish?” (that’s Patrick Star by the way)

seconds later there was a clamouring from the bathroom, the solid sound of someone falling before, “MINGI!”

“that my good lads, is what we were wa-oh whoops gotta go!”  

(moodboard made with love, by @s1ardusk​ ♡)

#ateez headcanons #atzinc #atinyforatiny #aurorateeznet #ateez scenarios #pirate ateez #pirate ateez au #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez drabbles #ateez blurbs #song mingi #ateez mingi #ateez writing #ateez fic #Perihelion Crew #pyx writes

[seven-spirits-of-light]

The Barian Invasion - Avina

Avina cheered as Yuma delivered the finishing blow to Heartland. God, she could watch that asshole eat shit over and over again! Except… his sudden and spontaneous combustion put an abrupt end to that. She stood in shock with everyone else, her jaw dropped in horrified awe. She then realized that Kite was still down, and Yuma was definitely hurtin’ and she went to them.

“Are you guys okay? God, fucking Barians blatantly cheating by putting you in a field that does actual, physical damage to you.” She spat, causing Yuma to chuckle.

“Ah, it’s nothin I can’t handle. I just gotta feel the flow!” He grinned, making the pop star giggle. Before she could say anything more, the huge pillar of light over the ocean caused the world to rumble, and 7 different sparks of light burst from it, flying directly at the group. Avina screamed, pulling Yuma down and covering Kite’s head with her body as best she could. The flying lights slammed into the towering cranes and walls, throwing dust and rock everywhere before gathering together on the wall above the cowering group. She looked up, her eyes fiery with rage, her brain immediately recognizing Vector, Dumon, Mizar, Alito and Girag.

“HEY! DO YOU ASSLORDS HAVE NO DECENCY? YOU COULDA KILLED US!! WHAT’S THE BIG ID-“ she barked, but stopped. It had taken a second… but her mind was finally registering that there were 2 more in the group of Barians.

Two she recognized.

“O-oh… god.” Vance breathed, his eyes wide too.

“Sh-… Shark?” Avina finally spoke. She couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. There he was. Her Shark. Her boyfriend. The man who held her heart, who made her laugh, who made her smile, who held her when she cried and who could calm her when she raged. There he was, his sister right beside him. The girl her own brother loved more than anything in this world and the next. They stood up with the enemy, glaring down at everyone they had called ‘friend.’

“'Shark?' Feels like ages since anyone called me that…” he finally spoke. Avina gave a breathless laugh, slowly rising to her feet.

“Aha… Ages? Babe I… it’s only been like a day. C’mon, quit fooling around. Like… we’ve got kind of a serious situation here. Do you, uh… wanna explain what’s up with… them? I-I mean… are they on our side now or… something like that?” She asked nervously, her eyes flicking between the other 6 before returning to Shark.

“Hardly, love. You see… Shark was my old name. I am Nasch, Leader of the Seven Barian Emperors, and this world is now ours! You all should surrender now, it would be in your best interest.” He spoke, his voice carrying that unwavering tone she was all too familiar with. As he said this, her eyes welled with tears, and her jaw dropped before clenching shut. She lowered her head, trying to hide her tears.

“You… y-you… you rotten, lying, BACKSTABBING, TWO-FACED SON OF A BITCH!! YOU BASTARD!! YOU SERIOUSLY CHOOSE THEM OVER US!? OVER ME!? FUCK YOU, JUDAS!!” she cried out, her face twisted with rage but eyes pouring with tears.

“I promise you, love, I haven’t chosen them over you. In fact, I intend to have you join us. I promise you, we will be together forever. Nothing will ever be able to part us again.” He said, though his words did little to soothe her. Quite the opposite in fact. Avina made like she was going to charge at him, but Vance luckily caught her, holding her back. He too was crying, unable to remove his eyes from his beloved Rio… the girl who had betrayed him and come to see his destruction. Yuma then rose, trying to reason with Shark, but he took it one step further, revealing to everyone present the undeniable proof of his new alliance. Shark Barian-phosed, along with Rio and the other 5. Not long after he did this, Sha- Nasch and Yuma seemed to share some sort of memory with one another, and Yuma was unable to handle the shock, passing out on the dock. When the pop star saw this, she was agitated further, fighting hard against Vance’s hold to get to the man who had betrayed her love, her trust. Vance held fast though, trying to pull her back toward the Arclight’s vehicle.

“Avina… Avina that’s not gonna help anything. Let’s get out of here, it’s not safe.” Vance urged, pulling his heartbroken sister with him. As they finally drove off, Avina curled into her brother’s chest, the adopted siblings both grieving the loss and betrayal of the ones they loved so dearly.

If only the knew just how much worse things were going to get…

————————————————————

Avina’s chest shuddered with her silent sobs while her brother sat and held her, tears rolling down his cheeks too, too numb to do much else. The pop start could physically feel her heart breaking in her chest, and for a moment… she feared that she would actually die from heartbreak. For a while, the car was silent. No one really knew what to say… everyone was in shock. Shark. Ryouga Kamishiro. Their good friend, Avina’s boyfriend… he had betrayed them. Left them to fight alongside the ones who had been harassing them for months and had been actively trying to kill Astral. Avina was definitely in the worst shape of all. After everything she and Shark had been through… he chose those stone faced assholes over her, over his friends! The people who had stood by his side when no one else would! Not only that… but he planned to turn her into some stone faced monster, too. She wanted nothing more than for this nightmare to end. She wanted to go back home, lay in her bed with her boyfriend and listen to music.

But that wasn’t possible… not anymore. He’d made his choice. He had chose them over her.

Avina’s sorrow turned quickly back to rage and resolve. Nasch wasn’t going to win. No matter what.

Avina glanced out the window, a terrified gasp leaving her as she saw who was pursuing them. Nasch! Nasch and Merag!! Oh fuck, ALL SEVEN were there! They were chasing their vehicle and she could see Nasch and Merag looking right at them! Avina couldn’t stop the look of horror on her face. She turned away, frantically thinking of what she could do when she quickly realized what she had to do.

“V! Stop the car!” She called, causing the white-haired man to jump.

“What! No! Why!?” He asked, glancing back at her as if she were mad.

“They’re chasing us, and if they catch up to this car, they’re gonna get their hands on ALL of us. You have to stop and let me out! I can draw him away. Please! We can’t let Nasch get his hands on either Yuma or Astral, and god forbid he gets them BOTH. So don’t fucking argue with me, and stop the goddamn car.” Avina explained, her franticness making her hiss out the last bit. V looked hesitant, looking to his little brother, but neither III nor anyone else in the vehicle offered any objections.

With a resolute nod, Avina scooted over to the door, taking the handle and preparing to launch herself out of the car once it had stopped, not noticing as Vance prepared to jump from the car too. V hit the breaks, turning just so that she had quick access to an alleyway, and came to a stop. Avina jerked the door open, throwing herself out and onto the street, yelping when Vance followed. She opened her mouth to protest, but when she spotted the seven eerily glowing figures quickly approaching, she huffed, closing the door and grabbing Vance’s wrist.

The adopted siblings took off in a direction adjacent to the vehicle, running into the shows of the alley. Sure enough, the Emperors seemed to pause, and three broke off from the group, following Avina and Vance while the other four continued chasing the vehicle. Fuck. Ok, well, four is better than all seven… and it looked like Nasch and Merag along with one other had decided to follow her and Vance, so the Barians didn’t have their powerhouse leader. Avina prayed that her friends would all be safe as she continued to run. The pop star could see them swooping down closer, and so she began to dip and weave in and out of alleys and behind the many towering buildings of Heartland City. She was gasping for breath, and her sides screamed at her, but she refused to stop. Not yet.

It seemed like an eternity until, finally, she glanced behind them and didn’t see any of the Emperors. Avina pulled Vance with her, hiding in an alley and crouching down in the darkest corners so they could catch their breath. She motioned to Vance to be quiet, creeping forward slightly. Avina could hear footsteps, and out in the street she spotted just who had accompanied Nasch and Merag. It was Dumon, Nasch’s little fanboy. He was looking around, but luckily seemed to have lost them. She couldn’t help the cocky little smirk on her face.

For a moment, she thought she’d won…

That was until she heard the terrifyingly familiar sound of a portal ripping open behind her, and a pair of large, purple stony hands wrapped around her waist.

Avina shrieked, turning to see a similar pair of white stone hands latching around Vance’s chest. She screamed bloody murder, reaching out for her brother and fighting hard against the grip around her.

”NO!! VAAAANCE!!!”

And then gravity was gone. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She was so scared. She had no choice but to cling desperately to her kidnapper.

————————————————————

The Barian King stepped out of the portal carrying the trembling human in his arms, looking around his room. It was elegant yet simply decorated, and in any other situation, he thought Avina might have liked it. He hoped she would still… this was to be her new home after all. Nasch looked down at her, a gorgeous wine-colored gown now draped over her slim figure, a silver metal bust encircling her abdomen. She truly looked like the queen she was meant to be.

“You can open your eyes, love. We’re home now.” He murmured, nuzzling her with his mouthless muzzle. Avina’s eyes flew open and she gasped, looking around before shoving away from him.

“How dare you!? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!?! YOU- YOU-- YOU BASTARD!! You terrorized all of our friends, you betrayed Yuma, you betrayed me! God, don’t you love me at all!? Am I just- am I just a fucking object to you!? A prize to be won! An item to possess!?” She spat, her furious amethyst eyes boring into him.

“No… you’re… you’re my bride.” Nasch replied.

“Your bride. You seriously think that I would ever WILLINGLY associate with you at all after everything you’ve done, let alone marry you!?” Avina retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. She then paused, glancing down at herself, going silent for a beat too long. Finally, she spoke, her words dripping with seething anger.

”Where… the fuck… are my clothes? What the FUCK is this!?” She growled, her hands clenched into fists.

“You don’t need those rags anymore. You’re going to be a queen, Avina. You deserve the finery befitting a queen. You should see yourself… you look stunning.” Nasch answered evenly. He was trying desperately to keep up the heartless Barian façade, but it was so much harder with her here. She looked so hurt, so upset, so uncomfortable. While she did look beautiful… it was also unnatural.

“Jesus… you really don’t fucking care at all, do you?” She breathed, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. “God… god I had hoped so desperately that some how, some way, you… the you I know was still in there. But… but he’s gone. My Shark… he’d never try to turn me into something I’m not. He’d never betray his friends. He’d never stoop as low as you.” She wrapped her arms around her torso, hugging herself tightly. In the red glowing light, Nasch could see the trails of tears streaking down her cheeks, and he could no longer maintain the mask. Not in front of her.

“Avina… I… I do care. I know in your anger, you see me and Ryouga as two different people and… while that is true in a way, I promise you I am the same man that you fell in love with. The truth is I really… don’t want to do this. ANY of this. I never wanted to betray my friends, or Yuma… or especially you. But I can’t deny what I am. There are so many souls here that need me, souls that can’t rest until I defeat all threats to our world. Did your Ryouga not share that same dedication?” He asked.

Avina turned away, not seeing the pain in his mismatched eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be like this… I still love you. I love you so deeply. I know you still love me… I can see it in your eyes.” The Emperor continued, approaching her. The hand that was placed on her shoulder wasn’t one of stone… it was flesh. Avina jumped slightly.

“You know I want you

It’s not a secret I try to hide

I know you want me

So don't keep sayin' our hands are tied.” his voice came drifting to her ear, warm and inviting and distinctly human.

“You claim it's not in the cards

And fate is pullin' you miles away

And out of reach from me

But you're here in my heart

So who can stop me if I decide

That you're my destiny?”

Avina turned to him, looking up into his beautiful deep blue eyes, his face once more human and no longer the strange featureless muzzle he had revealed to them all. Nasch took her into his arms, dancing slowly with her as he continued to sing those sweet and loving words to her.

“What if we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine

Nothing could keep us apart

You’d be the one I was meant to find

It’s up to you, and it's up to me

No one can say what we get to be

So why don't we rewrite the stars?

Maybe the world could be ours

Tonight.” He spun her once before pulling her close again, leaning down to kiss her. Avina felt herself leaning forward, wanting to accept his kiss. She suddenly realized where she was and what was happening, and in an instant, she ducked, sliding out of his arms. The pop star walked away, desperately trying to catch her breath and stop her head from spinning.

"You think it's easy

You think I don't wanna run to you?” she sang, slowly looking over her shoulder. 

”But there are mountains

And there are doors that we can't walk through” Avina turned back to him fully.

”I know you're wondering why because we're able to be

Just you and me within these walls

But when we go outside, you're gonna wake up and see

That it was hopeless after all…” She turned to the large double door to Nasch’s room, her hands resting on the handles for a moment before shoving with all her might, pushing them open. Avina wasn’t entirely sure where she was going, but the huge staircase at the end of the hallway seemed to be a good bet. Where it lead, she didn’t know, but it was certainly better than just staying stuck in this room. She knew she couldn’t actually run… but even moving around a little helped alleviate some of her anxiety.

The words continued to pour from her heart as she walked out of the room, knowing Nasch would follow.

”No one can rewrite the stars

How can you say you'll be mine?

Everything keeps us apart

And I'm not the one you were meant to find” She began ascending the stairs, her skirt lifted so she wouldn’t trip. Avina looked up, noticing some of the other Barians standing in what must be the main throne room, her sadness switching to irritation. She stopped, whipping around to motion between herself and Nasch.

”It’s not up to you

It’s not up to me

When everyone tells us what we can be!” She spat, shooting a glare at Dumon and Girag. The two Barians looked back at her with open wariness and confusion, the Barian Knight looking back at his king. Avina huffed, turning away from them all and walking further into the throne room. This is probably where it would end. Nasch wouldn’t sacrifice his dignity to sing with her, especially in front of the other Barians. Her shoulders dropped, head lowering.

“How can we rewrite the stars?

Say that the world can be ours

Tonight?” she sang. When she continued… she was shocked to hear another voice join hers. Avina turned, seeing Nasch coming towards her, still singing! Their voices harmonized beautifully, and for a moment, she was able to forget where she was entirely.

”All I want is to fly with you

All I want is to fall with you

So just give me all of you!”

”It feels impossible…” She sang.

”It’s not impossible!” He replied, reaching out to her.

”Is it impossible?” She asked, her eyes turning hopeful.

”Say that it's possible!” Their voices joined again as he finally reached her, taking her hand and holding her close. Ryouga smiled, pulling her up the stairs leading to his throne.

”How do we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine?

Nothing can keep us apart

'Cause you are the one I was meant to find!” They reached the top, and he danced with her, spinning her and holding her close.

”It's up to you

And it's up to me

No one can say what we get to be

And why don't we rewrite the stars?

Changing the world to be ours!” Their voices rang out, uncaring of who heard or who saw, standing close to one another, relishing in one another’s warmth and comfort. Ryouga leaned down to kiss her, and Avina smiled, ready to kiss him in return. This time she was stopped by the feeling of a pendant lying on his chest. The Barian pendant. That’s right… This was Nasch. She stopped him, pushing him back slightly. He looked down at her in confusion, and Avina couldn’t help the bitter smile that made it’s way onto her face.

”You know I want you…

It’s not a secret I try to hide

But I can't have you…” Avina sang softly, her thumb running over the red gem in the center. The sensation startled Nasch so much, he found himself suddenly Barian-phosed, changed back into the towering stone creature he had chosen to be instead of the human man that could be with her.

”We’re bound to break and my hands… are tied.” She finished sadly, pulling away from him and walking back down the stairs, looking out one of the huge archways overlooking the Great Barian Sea.

————————————————————

Avina looked out at the deep red landscape below, her heart aching, trying desperately not to cry. God… for a moment, for just a moment, she felt connected to him again. She felt like she was singing with Ryouga and not the heartless Barian King. She began to wonder if… if maybe they really weren’t so different after all. God, she didn’t want to think about this madness anymore. She just wanted it to end! She wanted to go back home, with her human boyfriend. But the longer she was on this strange planet, the stronger this feeling of dread grew.

Something terrible was about to happen.

Nasch approached her from behind, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder. Before he could touch her, though, she finally spoke up.

“Nasch… I’d like to see my brother. Please. If your intention is still to turn me into a Barian, then I… I’d like to see my brother first.” Avina asked, not wanting to look at him. She knew her heart couldn’t take it. The Emperor was silent for a moment before answering.

“Yes… I’ll send for him and Merag.” His deep and alien voice came, turning to nod at Dumon. He then turned back to Avina, unsure of what to say. He stood beside her, looking out at the garish landscape of his world. There was silence for a few moments before Avina spoke, her voice soft and hesitant.

“Will it hurt?” She asked, not looking at him. The Emperor was quiet, considering how to answer her question.

“It… It shouldn’t. I will do everything in my power to ensure it doesn’t but… I’m afraid I don’t know for certain. All of us became Barians after our deaths on Earth so… I can’t say for sure. But I promise you, I will do everything I can to make sure it doesn’t hurt.” He answered.

“Do you have to? Do you have do turn me? Do you have to do any of this? Ryouga, please… we… we can still go back. We can go back to Earth, we can help Yuma fight and we can return to our normal lives! It… it doesn’t have to be this way.” Avina pleaded softly, tears rolling down her cheeks. Nasch felt tears prick his own eyes too, but he refused to let them fall.

“I must, Avina. I’ve been shown my past. There are hundreds of souls here counting on me. They all had their lives cut short on Earth due to choices I made, they are my responsibility. They were brought here for a second chance, and it’s my job to lead them and protect them from all threats. They… they deserve to be happy and safe. I failed them in my first life, but I won’t in this life. Believe me, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but Barian World can’t exist in peace when Astral World does. Our worlds are polar opposites, and as such we are bound to fight. We have to destroy them before they destroy us.” Nasch explained, and Avina turned to look at him.

Even though his face was the featureless mask of a Barian, she could see that strong resolve and dedication that her Ryouga had shining in his eyes. God… it really was him. That realization only broke the singer even more. She desperately wanted to stay with him, to help him and see him succeed, but she also didn’t want innocent people to die. Avina lowered her head and closed her eyes, her tears falling steadily. There was no way to win this… not really. She couldn’t convince him to trust Yuma, and she couldn’t stand by his side and let him beat Yuma. She wanted to scream. This was impossible! A gentle breeze stirred her hair, making her open her eyes… and look down.

There… there was only one option.

“Avina!”

The magenta haired girl turned, seeing her brother enter with Ri- with Merag, his attire similarly changed like hers. She ran to him, hugging him tightly and trying not to burst into tears.

“Vance! Thank God, are you okay? Are you hurt at all?” She asked, pulling back and looking him over. He chuckled sadly, shaking his head.

“Not physically but…” he trailed off, the pain evident in his eyes. He was suffering the same dilemma she was. Avina could only assume that whatever conversation he’d had with Merag, he’d come to the same revelation she had… that Merag and Rio really were one and the same… but there was no way that he could stay by her side.

��Vance… Vance I… I’ve been thinking. We can’t let this happen. We can’t become Barians, otherwise we’ll just become part of the problem. We can’t get in Yuma’s way. I know he and Astral have a plan, but if we let them turn us into Barians, all we’re gonna do is throw a giant wrench in those plans.” She murmured, making sure her voice was low enough that none of the Barians present would hear them. “I’ve… already made my choice. I’m gonna fly…” Avina whispered, glancing back toward the large archway

The open archway that overlooked a fatal drop down to the beach.

“I’m… I’m really sorry. I don’t want you to- I-I don’t know what else to do… you don’t have to follow-“ Avina started, her tears falling once more, but Vance stopped her.

“Hey… you… you don’t have to be sorry. Truthfully, I had made the same decision.” He whispered in reply, the pain agonizingly evident in his eyes. Avina hiccuped, hugging him again, holding on tightly. God… god, she didn’t want this. Not for Vance, not for her. She didn’t want to do this to Nasch or Merag. She wanted this whole stupid nightmare to end!

But it wouldn’t… not yet.

Avina extracted herself from her brother, sniffling. “I need to… say goodbye.” She murmured, Vance nodding in agreement. The two siblings went toward their significant other, reluctance in their every step. The pop star looked up at the purple visage of her beloved, reaching up to caress his stone cheek.

“Okay… I-I’ve made my choice. But first… can you please turn back into a human? Just for a moment s-so I can… say goodbye?” She asked. Nasch didn’t hesitate at all, shifting back into the human body of Ryouga Kamishiro. She hugged him tightly, kissing him with all the passion and desperation she had felt for him ever since they’d first met. In her heart and her mind, she said goodbye to the future she had always imagined for them. She said goodbye to her band, she said goodbye to their wedding, their children, their blissfully-wedded future. None of that would happen now… So she savored this moment. The safety of his embrace, the warmth of his lips. After what felt like both an eternity and less than a second, she pulled back, her forehead resting against his and her hands resting on his chest, feeling the pulse of his heart.

“Ryouga… Nasch… I know now that you are one and the same. You are both a champion duelist with many friends who care deeply for you, and a great leader who will protect those who follow him. You’re a man of dedication and passion… and that is what I fell in love with.” She murmured to him, looking up into his brilliant blue eyes.

“I love you. I will always love you.” Avina declared.

Then, she shoved him back with all of her might, catching him by surprise and managing to push him off his feet and away from her. In an instant, she turned, making a mad dash for the open archway, spotting Vance having done the same to Merag before running the same direction as her. She reached out her hand to him, the two siblings grasping at one another and bolting for the edge. Avina faintly heard Nasch roaring for someone to stop them while Merag screamed after Vance, though the sound was muffled by the pounding of blood in her ears.

The edge grew closer

And closer

And closer

And then the ground was gone.

And she was falling.

And she was screaming.

The wind whipped around them, but even over that plus her own screams and the blood still rushing in her ears, Avina heard one single word being cried by two voices.

”NOOOOO!!!!”

It seemed like she fell forever. Had the ground vanished? Was there a bottomless pit that she hadn’t seen? She could faintly see the heads of the Emperors watching in horror as the two humans plummeted down.

“N-Nas—“

And then… darkness.

When Avina opened her eyes again, she was on the beach of Barian World. She looked over, seeing her brother standing beside her, his figure startlingly transparent, almost like Astral looked except not blue. She looked down at her own hands to find them equally transparent. An agonized cry drew her attention up, and not far ahead of them, she saw Merag pounding on the chest of a slightly burned body.

Vance’s body.

The sound of a pained grunt followed by sorrowful weeping attracted her attention next, and she spotted Nasch coming up out of the bloody red waters of the Great Barian Sea, a body in his arms with skin reddened from the acidic water.

Her body.

They hadn’t hit the ground, they’d fallen right into the Barian Sea, thankfully dying on impact so they didn’t have to suffer the agony of the acid. But… but now they had to watch as the two people who they loved more than anything in the world mourned over their broken bodies.

Avina wept openly, and she heard Vance doing the same. She reached over, taking his hand, the two siblings weeping at the tragic scene.

”Fellow Lights… I am so sorry it came to this.” a strange, feminine voice said. Avina gasped and turned, spotting a group of five women approaching them. ”There is much that needs to be explained, and we will do so. Please… come with us. Things will make sense soon.” a lady with blond hair dressed in blue said, offering her hand to them. The siblings hesitated, looking at one another and glancing back at their Barian lovers.

”I understand your desire to stay… and I promise you, you won’t be parted from them for long… but right now, there is nothing you can do. Truths have been hidden from you, and you deserve to know about your past, as well as theirs. Let us help you… Together, we can free them from this agony, but in order to do so, you must understand the whole story.” The girl in a flowing purple skirt said, her lavender eyes imploring. Avina let out a shuddering sigh, looking back one more time at the sorrowful scene behind her.

“Nasch… I’m so sorry. I love you.”

Then, she and Vance turned, following the group of women into a glowing white light.

#long post #story #plot #yugioh zexal #yugioh #zexal #zexal ii #original character #OC #yugioh OC #songfic #fanfic #fan episode #tw suicide #Avina #Avina Ashera #Nasch #Ryouga Kamishio #Reginald Kastle #Vance #Vance Ashera #Rio Kamishiro #Rio Kastle #seven-spirits-of-light

[27emailsicantsend]

Ok so I read ur muffy second kiss fic thing and I got an idea but I suck at writing so I thought I’d ask you to write it lol but like the idea is that Marty is always trying to be the brave one bc that’s his way of showing Buffy that it’s ok to be emotional but one day Marty has a bad day and it’s Buffy’s turn to be the comforter (this idea might suck oop)

Marty’s Loss: A Muffy One Shot

“Yeah, ok, thanks for letting me know,” Marty said as he hung up the phone. He turned around to see all of his friends laughing and having a good time. They had decided to go bowling again, but it was starting to feel the bowling alley was jinxed. He watched as the rest of the world faded around him and his friends seemed to be in slow motion.

Andi was making jokes, smiling wide as she watched Cyrus roll the ball granny-style down the lane. TJ playfully smacked Andi’s arm with the back of his hand telling her to “cut it out”. Jonah was sitting opposite them, talking to Amber. They were having a light-hearted conversation. And then there was Buffy. She was so relaxed. Her black curls bouncing as she held herself laughing with Andi, TJ, Cyrus.

Buffy was so real and raw. Marty couldn’t believe they had already been dating almost a month. Ever since she admitted she liked him, she became more available emotionally. She was never really bad at this, however. She was honest when she rejected Marty (Marty shuddered as he pushed this thought away), bold when it came to standing up for her friends, straightforward with liking Marty, and he’d even seen her get teary eyed when she was afraid he rejected her.

All he did was joke with her or get serious, but never really spoke about what upset him. Even when he was rejected (shudder), he just pushed her away and moved on quickly to Rachel. Which he now acknowledged was an extremely bad idea.

Rachel was here last time and made the bowling alley an extremely uncomfortable place for him to visit due to the bad memories. He agreed to come though, in hopes that his bad memories would be replaced with new ones. They were new memories, just not new good ones, after this phone call.

He continued to watch from a distance when suddenly he saw Buffy smile at him and wave him over. He smiled and walked up to her. She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked, “hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Whose turn is it?” Marty said quickly, faking a smile, hoping to brush past having to talk.

The kids understood he wanted a change in subject and Cyrus said, “yours!”

Marty looked up at the score board. He and Buffy were about tied (since it was obviously a competition), TJ was in second, and Amber was doing surprisingly really well. It’s not that he didn’t think Amber would be good at bowling... well, actually it was. She seemed a little preppy for his taste and Rachel was too. Rachel wasn’t good at bowling because “germs” and not the right color of bowling ball, so Marty was surprised Amber was taking to it so naturally and easily. He liked this side of her, she showed progress, unlike his ex.

Marty bowled a strike with no hesitation. He walked off the platform as Buffy walked on for her turn, saying competitively, “Weak. I’ll do better”.

Marty tried to be flirty, but he knew that his comeback had a layer of sadness in his voice. “Nice try, Driscoll”.

The gang continued to bowl a couple more turns for each person. Even in one game of bowling, with this many people playing it took forever. They should have split the amount of people into two teams to make it quicker, but they all wanted to be on the same game, so it took a lot longer. Because of the time, Marty started to get pretty hungry. He walked up to the food counter and ordered some taco tots, Buffy’s favorite.

While he waited for the food, he heard a voice next to him, “one order of taco tots, please”.

Buffy.

“Hey, Driscoll, couldn’t stand to see my score so you had to walk away?”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing?” Buffy said with a polite grin.

They stood in silence for a second and Buffy turned to look at him again. “Marty, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been really quiet since that phone call. I can tell something is up”.

“Buffy, I promise, I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this time with your friends, ok?”

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating. She nodded and said, “ok” quietly.

Both orders of taco tots were set on the counter and they both walked back together in an awkward silence.

Marty continued to watch and smile, trying not to seem too obvious he was sad. He noticed Buffy look over at him a few times and even thought he heard Andi and Cyrus discussing him and Buffy having relationship problems at one point. They hadn’t had any relationship problems so far and Marty didn’t consider this one at all. He was just sad and needed space and he wished his friends respected that a little more.

The game was finally starting to come to a close and so he thought everyone was going to be done. They all wanted to play another game, however.

Marty pretended to check his phone and said his mom needed him home, but that they should all stay. He walked outside and around the corner of the building where no one could see him. He slid to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest, holding them with his arm, and then buried his head into his knees. He began to cry. A lot.

He sobbed and sobbed. It was a quiet alley way, thankfully. The bowling alley was far from a lot of people and he was hidden behind a dumpster.

He couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t really have thoughts except for how sad he was and wondering how this could happen to him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He panicked, thinking it might be an employee and that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wiped the tears off of his face quickly with his sleeve and stood up. The moment he stood up he came face to face with Buffy.

She looked at him tenderly and then wrapped her arms behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to cry again. He sobbed into her shoulder. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all by this, surprisingly.

He was scared to be emotional in front of her because she already carried so much of that weight on her own. She dealt with so much. School, friends, Andi leaving, coaching... he just wanted to root her on and be a good boyfriend. He was afraid if he was too dramatic it might chase her away. That she couldn’t handle him being sad, because she already had too many emotions of her own and with her friends she had to deal with.

But this felt different. He felt a unique comfort in her embrace. One that said she wasn’t going anywhere- figuratively and literally. She continued to hold him until his crying slowed. When it started to slow down, he pulled away, their arms still locked in their same positions however.

Buffy gave him a small smile that seemed to say, “I’m here. I understand. You don’t have to talk, but if you want to. I’m here”.

Marty smiled at her and said, “thanks”.

She gave a polite chuckle and said, “anytime”.

Marty loved that about Buffy. She knew what to do and what to say. She knew her limits with him. He felt comfortable opening up to her. He had to at some point. He sat back down against the wall, extending his legs. He looked up at Buffy and patted the ground next to him, furthest from the dumpster.

Buffy slid down next to him, this time her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She laid her head down on her knees, looking at him with sincerity.

Marty let out a small breath through his nose and looked ahead of him as he spoke. He knew that if he looked at Buffy, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in tact.

“My mom called. My grandma has been in the hospital the last two weeks. She finally passed”.

Buffy could have said something during the silence, but didn’t. Instead, she just kept listening.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her, Buff. I mean, I knew it was getting close, but I spent almost every weekend growing up at her house. Since my dad isn’t around anymore, she helped my mom to raise my sister and me”. Marty giggled. “She used to have a cookie jar. It had the same cookies in it my whole life, but my sister and I would fight over them every time we got there. We would race into the house. I remember grammy saying, ‘if you wanted the cookies so bad, you should have gone to the store and gotten them yourself, instead of running like heathens through the house’. Sometimes it had more colorful language than that, but you get the gist”.

Marty’s face dropped again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buff. I am going to miss her so much. My grandpa is gone too, so now we have to clean the house, go through their belongings, my mom is going to have to do the work... on her.. own..” His voice began to trail as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why did this have to happen?” He asked, rhetorically.

Buffy finally answered. She didn’t have to, but it helped. “I don’t know, Marty. I don’t know why these things happen,” she said as she scooted close to Marty, wrapping an arm around him. “But, what I do know, is that I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You don’t have to fight your battles alone. In fact, remember when we first started talking again?”

Marty began to chuckle, “yeah and I wouldn’t stop blowing up your phone? I had it so bad”. His face began to turn red.

Buffy laughed with him, “yes, you were pretty smitten, but I don’t blame you because I’m pretty awesome”. Marty rolled his eyes, grinning. “Anyway, that day I kept telling you I was busy because I was at Cyrus’ grandma’s Shivah. It’s a long celebration or ceremony they do in memory of someone who has died. It was a beautiful event and I think it really helped people to mourn the loss. What I learned the most from it, though, was that it was ok to talk about your feelings and to remember those people for who they were. It’s ok to be sad, but also don’t be afraid to remember her either. She would have wanted that from you, I know it. I also know she loves you very, very much and is so proud of who you are today. I couldn’t be more proud”.

Buffy learned over and kissed him on the cheek. Marty smiled at her, as a way to thank her.

“I appreciate you telling me that, really. I needed to hear it. I don’t think too many people will see this emotion out of me, though. That’s not really who I am and it’s why I kept so quiet today- sorry about that, by the way. Thanks for listening to me, Buffy”.

“You’re welcome. I can see how hard this must be for you and I appreciate you being vulnerable. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this between us until you’re ready. You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone”.

Marty knew that was true, and he knew she wasn’t going to run in and tell everyone what she just talked to him about. She was the only person who seemed to understand what it was like not to want to cry in front of everyone, because she didn’t do it often either. She was the only person who gets that.

#sorry this took so long to write but here it is! #andi mack #muffy #marty from the party #buffy driscoll #tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #am #amber #jonah beck #rachel #fic #one shot #anon #ask #send me asks

[rezdogsyonder]

Need (4)

Pairing: Professor!Rogers x reader

Summary: the reader is doing a fantastic job and she finally feels as though she’s doing better. That is until something happens.

Warnings: blood, attempted rape, injury, mugging

**********

**********

It has been 6 days since Steve has asked you to be his TA. Since then the two of you have gotten significantly closer. you’re starting to see him as a friend and he couldn’t be happier with that progress. Going from small talk to full blown conversations. He walks you home too, you don’t even go to the library anymore. Opting to stay and work in his presence.

He has been able to keep his desires in check. So far.

**********

You woke up with your alarm, 6:00am. You decided to take the early shift so you can manage the classes you now go to. Every Tuesday and Thursday you stay in Steve’s classroom from 12pm-10pm the first two classes are back to back, then the third class you participate in then the fourth is the last class of the day.

You’ve also been staying till dark to do your school work, Steve said he doesn’t mind you working in the office with him so your basically all caught up in everything. Even coming in Wednesday’s go help him prepare anything he needs, when he is all done he helps you with homework.

It was really nice of him to offer you this “job”, because of it you are getting great grades in your classes. You just needed his little push.

You get up without hitting snooze, hardest thing to do. Rushing to shower and get dressed. You left your makeup at work in the office so you’ll just get there early and do you’re make up there.

You decided on a black and white corduroy skirt and a black long sleeve. A pair of dark grey knee high boots to go with it.

You’re out of the apartment at 6:15, completely ready, even carrying your purse, wallet, and some tampons cause you know it’s coming up one of these days. Even your laptop and flash drive to work on your thesis. Barely anybody comes in before 7:30.

Opening isn’t so bad, you just weren’t a morning person. Luckily you work at a coffee shop. The walk was quiet, peaceful, the smell of dew on the grass is calming. A kinda slow pace so you can enjoy the morning in your way to the coffee shop.

You think back to Steve. Not Mr.Rogers. You remember the conversation of him acting you to call him Steve.

“—it makes me feel old when I get called Mr.Rogers.”

You giggled, “But you are old, weren’t you born in 1920?”

“1918, but yeah you’re right, but I should say it makes me feel like a crotchety old man.”

“Ok... Steve. Only cause you’re not crotchety. Yet.”

He smiled at you, “Thank you?” Unsure of how to respond.

You smile at the memory, kinda realizing your slowly growing crush on him. Too deep in thought to notice the figure behind you.

Passing by an alley, you suddenly feel a pain of hands pull you into the alley.

“Give me your purse and nobody needs to get hurt. ‘Kay pretty girl?”

“No! Get away from me.” You tried to back up, on key managing to get youself further into the corner he put you.

He brandished a knife, “Yenno you could’ve made this easier on yourself, darlin’.”

You bring the strap over your shoulder, “Fine, then take it!” You say loudly hoping someone will hear, then toss the bag to the other side of the alley.

He looked at the bag then kept creeping towards you, “Since ya caused me so much trouble, I think I deserve a little somethin’ extra.” He kept walking towards you.

You begin to panick but you couldn’t move, why can’t you move? He has his hands on you, you try pushing him off, finally regaining control of your limbs but it’s too late. He’s too strong.

You scream. “HELP! WA—” you were cut off by his filthy hand covering your mouth. You claw at his arm trying to get it off, but he uses his elbow to pin your to the wall, his bone digging into you. No doubt leaving bruises. The other arm stuck behind you in the corner.

“Shh now darlin, don’t want anybody interrupting us, now do we?”

He drags the blade from your cheek bone to your jaw, and it’s very sharp, bleeding even though he did it lightly. He licks where he just cut.

“You’re just sweet all over. Can’t wait to feel ya.”

You feel tears coming but you don’t want to give him that satisfaction so you hold them back, and you try to kick him, do anything, but he has you completely pinned. His hand holding the knife goes down and cuts your skirt. You slide down about 4-5 inches so you can bend your legs preventing your skirt from falling further. The brick scraping the back of your head, and your arm staying in the same place causing your shoulder to pop.

“Hey don’t try to get away.” Him emphasizing “away” by pushing you hard against the brick corner. Closer than you already were, another louder pop comes from your shoulder, the force of him slamming you paired with your oddly angled arm caused you pain you haven’t felt before.

You cry out in pain, muffled by his hand.

“Don’t worry girly,” he smiled. “Gonna make you feel all better.” You hadn’t noticed that your skirt had fallen the rest of the way. Leaving your underwear bare. He groped your breast before getting lower. Slightly cutting your belly since he was still holding the knife. Wen he got to your underwear he put the knife between his teeth, and was unbuckling his belt and pants.

That’s when you hear it. You’re about to cry in joy when somebody yells, “Hey! GET OFF HER!” You hear running footsteps get closer.

You see the man holding you down panic. “This is your own fault girly.” And he runs away. You slid down to the ground. You feel a burning in your side. You look down and the knife he had was sticking out, right above your right hipbone. The back of your leg feels warm almost immediately. You’re bleeding. Fast.

You see the man come flying back, and he hit the wall landing in the garbage. Unconscious.

You look up and Steve is running towards you.

“Y/N! Hold on I’ve got you!” He pulls out the knife, you barely feel it. He takes off his jacket and ties it around you, tightly. You just hold onto his arms.

He pulled out his phone, “I need an ambulance a squad car to—” you tune out his voice starting to feel everything.

Your shoulder. The back of your head. You’re face. You’re side. You’re becoming aware that Steve just saved you. You start crying the tears that you wouldn’t let fall before.

“Thank you. Thank you.” You can’t stop saying it as you sink into his arms. He’s hung up now.

“You’re alright. You’re gonna be fine, just listen to me Y/N. You’re going to be just fine.” He held your face in his hands as you start to fall unconscious. “No! Y/N I need you to stay awake for me alright? Y/N?” He strokes your hair. “Y/N? Fuck!”

He picked you up and begins running you towards the opening of the dead end alley. He hears sirens from his left and begins running towards them. “You’re gonna be fine Y/N. I need you to be ok. Ok?”

He spots the ambulance and starts running even faster. They’re stopped in traffic. Damn New York. The driver sees him running and the two responders run to open the back. He placed you in their care, “please make sure she’s okay, please.” Tears trying well in his eyes but he won’t let them. He needs to be angry.

Three cars down is the police, he knows they aren’t going to get there before the man leaves so he runs to the alley. He’s still there laying face down in the trash. He looks around, grabbing your skirt (more what’s left of it) and a purse he recognized as yours.

He grabs the man by the collar of his shirt and starts dragging him in the direction of the police. The man groaning most of the way.

They weren’t any closer than where he left them, ambulance included and his heart aches. His mind thinking the worst now that he knows you’re not getting to the hospital fast enough.

He keeps going the police get out of their vehicle.

“This man tried to rape my student and she is now sitting in that ambulance.” He pointed in your direction, using the hand holding your tattered skirt. “Make him pay.” He tossed him in their backseat, slamming the door.

He runs back to the ambulance, one is back behind the wheel and the other is putting pressure on your wound.

“How far is the nearest hospital?”

“What?” The responder asked, confusion clear in her voice.

“Where is the nearest hospital?” Steve spoke through gritted teeth.

“Three blocks north, and 2 blocks east.” The responder began giving you a makeshift abdominal tourniquet. Steve picks you back up and runs in the direction the woman gave him and began running as fast as he could.

He got there in 5 minutes and rushes into the emergency room.

“Somebody! She’s been stabbed.” Two nurses rush over with a gurney. He laid you down gently on it, and they start wheeling you away. “Her names yn!” He wanted to follow but a security guard stopped him.

“I know you want back there but it’s just doctors last this point. Go to the waiting room.” The guard gave a sympathetic smile, walking him back out to wait.

**********

It’s been nearly 2 hours but it felt like days. He can’t stop staring at his hands. He washed off you blood probably an hour ago when he noticed but he can’t stop staring. So much blood. He can’t help but think back to the past. The war. Everything. This time he lets the tears flow.

“Miss Y/N family?” Steve stood up and immediately went to the doctor.

“Is she alright? Is she awake? How is she doing?” He stumbled out quickly.

“Are you a family member or spouse?”

“family member.”

“Come with me.” They began walking together to you. “She is stable. The knife didn’t hit anything important. Just barely missing her large instestine. The loss of blood however made her go into hypovolemic shock. She has abrasions on the back of her head, and a dislocated shoulder. The cut on her face will not need stitches but may leave a scar. She will need to stay overnight for observation and while she is receiving a transfusion and is on an IV.”

Steve just nods, knowingly as he’s heard this all before while in the initiative.

“She’s also on a lot of pain medications, we believe he may have struck her illiohypogastric nerve. She may feel pain in her lower abdomen and inner thigh until she heals.”

They get to your room and his heart breaks even further. It’s not even noon yet and you look wrecked. Pale. Fragile. He realizes now that he is the only one that knows you’re here.

He digs in your bag for your phone, it’s a fingerprint lock. You’re right here so it’s no problem. He goes to your emergency contacts and calls your roommate and boss. He also noticed no parents in your contacts, but didn’t pay no mind. Both of them didn’t take the news well, but who could blame them. Now all he had to do was wait.

**********

He was just staring at your form in the bed. He should’ve gotten there sooner, he was on his morning run. But he woke up a little late. If he just was in time she wouldn’t be here. He leaned his forehead on the bed, hands clasped together informs of him, nearly touching your leg.

He was almost about to cry again when he felt cold fingers run through his hair. He looked up and saw you smiling down at him sleepily.

“Is this real?” You asked kinda slurred.

“Yeah Y/N. It’s real.” Your hand travels from his hair down to his cheek. He puts his own hand over yours and kissed your palm. He doesn’t think you’ll remember this, you seem too out of it because of the drugs.

He grabs your hand and puts both of his hands around it, trying to warm you up. He can’t drop smiling. You’re ok.

“Oh my god Y/N!” Maria comes running in along with your boss, a short woman with long graying hair. I believe her name is Lottie. They both look as though they’ve been crying. Eyes a little puffy, faces flushed, and with a little blush around the noses.

“Thank god you’re ok!” She gave you a soft hug. Your unoccupied hand going around her. She let go and let your boss hug you.

Steve put your hand on the bed and stands up, “I believe I’m going to go now.” He grabs her bag, “She dropped this in the alley.” He hands Maria the bag, and showed the folded up fabric of your skirt. “And I should bring this to the police.”

He was going to walk out the door when he felt a small hand on his arm. Lottie grabbed him. “Thank you for saving her. Is it too much to ask you what happened?”

“I’m not sure if Y/N would want me telling you, but you seem like you care for her very much.”

He led her out into the hall and closed your door, “I don’t want to upset her by reminding her why she’s here. But I only got there at the end but I was running and I heard struggling down an alley. I went to see what it was and this man had her pinned to the—the wall.” He’s beginning to grow angry again. He clenched his fists. “He has already cut her face and her...” he looks down at the fabric in his hands. “Her skirt... I got there before he did anything.” He sighed feeling tears in his eyes once again, “I don’t know I think I scared him. He stabbed her when he heard me coming.” He kept his head down, talking so quietly due to his shame, the tears freely falling. “He’s with the police now ma’am. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t get away with this.”

Lottie is crying once more, “Thank you for saving my girl.” She hugged him, catching him off guard. But her being almost 5 feet tall dragged him down till he was halfway kneeling. He hugged back, understanding why you like this woman.

“Now go get him.” She said with such hatred in her voice that he didn’t expect from her.

He nodded, and was on his way.

**********

It didn’t take him long to find the precinct that man was at.

His name is Chester Straite.

He was fuming, opting to walk instead taking a ride in a cab. He hopes it’ll calm him. It doesn’t work though since he just gets kore angry every step that leads to the entrance.

“I need to give a statement. Who is the officer that made the arrest on Chester Straite?”

The receptionist behind the desk typed away on her computer, “That would be Detective White. Here is your visitors pass and his name is on the door.”

“Don’t I have to fill out a visitors form?”

“I’ve done it for you, have a good day Mr.America.” She said in a slight monotone voice.

“Yeah, uh thank you.” He took the pass and walked past her desk, seeing cubicles. Looking at each door. He feels the eyes on him, but he needs to do this. He finds White and knocks, probably too hard, he even startled himself with the strength he used unexpectedly.

The door opened to reveal a short tired man. He sighed and took a step to the side allowing Steve entrance.

“Who are you here for today Captain America.” He groaned out.

“I’m under the impression that you arrested Chester Straite? I am here to give you my statement.” He wondered why the detective was the one to make the arrest. He didn’t remember seeing him at the scene. That didn’t matter though, Steve had already talked to Tony and he’s getting Straite transferred to one of his cops. The kind that cares.

Steve already has a lawyer in mind.

“We will need to move to the interview room, that alright?” It was a question but there is no tone in his voice. He’s burnt out, he can tell.

“Yeah, lead the way.”

They get to the room, he get out his notepad, and Steve prepares himself to tell the story. Hopefully without destroying anything or crying.

**********

Steve wants you to be okay. He knows your awake and you’re healing but he will do anything in his power to make you feel safe again.

Anything.

#steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #professor!rogers #avengers fic #avengers #need #marvel fic #marvel

[random-bits-of-writing]

An update...

So.  I haven’t been on Tumblr in over six months I think, maybe more.  Life has been weird and sad and horrible for the last year but this year I am trying to take control of things again.  So. I thought i’d write something. It’s been a loooong time since I did. So it’s not good. But I wanted to do something creative.   So I did.

Searching

I’ve been looking for her for so long now that I can’t seem to remember a ‘before’ any more.  There was searching, and there was searching, and before that there was pain, and before that? It’s gone.  It’s as if life started with the pain of creation and yet I know there is something else.

I watch the people I pass and long to be part of their lives. Their mundane, solvable lives.  I’m not sure they see me, not now, I feel stretched out as thin as time and so they don’t notice as I pass by.  That’s OK though, they’re not what I’m looking for.  But sometimes it’s nice to stand, near them, and listen to their lives.  In the time I’ve been searching, they have lived and loved and died, and I have watched their children and their children’s children do the same, and all to what end? What is the meaning in all this for them, why do they pursue their loves and hates with such ferocity, only to each die and be forgotten.

I like to watch them die, sometimes. When I am angry and the sparks are coming off my skin and I can feel a scream inside that seeps through my pores until I want to howl and tear down the moon, then I watch them die.  Some go silently, alone and forgotten, in back-alleys and single beds, and they seem to give up their lives easily, their bodies slumping into relaxation as if their life had been so hard that death was a comfortable chair and a warm blanket that they eased into.  Others resist and fight, these are the ones in the hospitals and the fancy homes with their families around them, and they push back and whisper ‘no’ with a scream, wanting to cling on for just a little longer. Futile.  Silent or loud he comes for them.  

I have to stand back or be gone by the time he arrives. He can’t see me here. I wonder if he senses me, but he shows no sign, going about his business with his usual fastidious calm.  I cling on to brickwork and my rage to stop me going in there and reaching inside his heart to find out where she is. He won’t tell me, and I have tried to follow and cannot go where he goes, when he takes their deaths.

At other times, I feel hope, and then I watch the births, the new lives coming into this world, only to live through it then fade themselves.  There are the happy births, with beeping monitors or gentle cushions, surrounded by welcome and love, and there are the hidden births, young women in dark bathrooms gasping as they feel the quick knife-like pains and the tiny bodies.  Sometimes he is there then too, and then I don’t want to follow him, as he takes the small deaths away with him.  I croon lullabies to the babies as they kick their toes and peer at the new world with half-closed eyes, as if already they don’t trust it.  Sometimes they hear me, but I don’t stay long.  It hurts.  The old pain, the first pain, comes back to me when I stay too long near a birth. Her birth, the first thing I remember. And then she was gone.

And so I search, trying to remember where she went and how I can find her.  And I stretch thinner and thinner until a strong breeze almost splits me in two; until I feel as if I can see through myself.  But I am stronger than I look.  I am strong enough that I have been looking for millennia. I have clawed my way through heaven and hell searching and I will not stop.

My daughter. She was perfect. Her skin was soft as clouds and her eyes were bright as starlight.  She had black hair that curled and clung to her head and she was more beautiful than the moon.  And then as I reached to cradle her, they came.  They took her, and left me for dead in the wood, and now I am fury, and I will find her. I will tear down the universe until she is in my arms again.

Sometimes I remember her father. Just a wisp of a memory.  It comes back to me when I pass a flock of birds, and the beating of their wings as they take off reminds me of him somehow.  White feathers flashing. Other times it is the rolling of thunder, and I feel his voice deep in my chest as the storms roar. Today it was a smell, I caught it on the breeze.  Undefinable, I saw people lift their heads and wonder as they caught it.  ‘Baking bread’ or ‘fresh coffee’ or ‘fresh laundry’ they said, but it was the smell of sunshine and power and creation.  I chased it, following the scent like a hound on a trail as it wove between buildings and cities and countries and stars.  And as the scent grew, I remembered more.  I remembered his face, sometimes as large as the sky and other times the right size to hold between my hands as he gazed down at me, and I brushed away his tears with my fingers.  I remembered the way he held me, wrapping me in night and dark and stars and also in his arms as we lay together.

So caught up in the memories was I, that I failed to notice when the scent stopped being a thought on the air, and became real, and he stood before me. He was more beautiful than I had remembered, and more sorrowful, and more afraid. He cried when he saw me all worn thin by love and longing, and he spoke.  

“I’m sorry.” He said, and I remembered before, before the pain and the loss and the searching. I remembered him leaning over me and speaking, and his voice was eternity.

“You understand, we cannot have a child.  The child of the two of us would be the end of everything.  I could not let you keep it, I would have to take it away, for the sake of the world. If you were to hold a child we created…” He stopped and shook his head, and I could see the fear in his eyes.

I remembered, but it was too late. I saw her, behind him, peering at me. Even after all these thousands of years she was so small. Just a child, perhaps 3 or 4. She smiled at me and said my name and ran into my arms. I could not have stopped myself if I had tried.  The world had had its turn.  Lives had been lived, deaths had been mourned, for millennia.  Now it was my turn.  I wrapped my arms around her, and rested my cheek on her soft curls, and as a tear ran down my cheek and into her hair, the world died.

I am Loss.  I had forgotten.  And he is Life.  And we should not have met.  But our child was beautiful, and the world had to die.

#writing stuff

[classicallyelegant]

Chapter 7 expanded

I apologize for a delay.....Have had a LOT going on and and lot to worry about....still, I did work on this and I tried my hardest to make it as impressive as I could......Hope it lives up to it!

“Be careful, you two and I’ll have a big celebration dinner for you when you get back!” Russ waves after us. I feel a huge smile! What else can you do with Russ? Matt and I walk down to a bus stop and wait. He knows what bus, but I’m still a bit vague on such. Good thing he’s here! As we wait, we both noticed a couple staring at us. He just turns away from them, but they look like they want to say something. They are a bit older than us, but they don’t really look like trouble to me. I look down but I’m still facing them when I hear the man clear his throat. Ahem! “Excuse me? Are you two OK?” I’m not certain how to answer him, so I touch Matt’s shoulder. He turns and beams back, “Sure we are! Why do you ask?”

“Oh good! We were concerned about you two since we hadn’t seen you in a few days. You know we always love to check on you.” He smiles back as he brings the lady closer to all of us.

Matt whispers to me, “Yeah, to be nosy about what we’re doing!” I look at him. REALLY? He sort of turns his head towards me and says under his breath, “Watch!” To the couple he says, “We had a bit of a vacation….just the two of us! You know how we lovebirds are!” He’s smiling at me and drawing me closer to him in a hug. What are you up to? The couple look like they’re satisfied, but I’m mystified as he kisses my face. What do you think you are doing here? Why are you showing off for these people? All I can manage to do is look at him. I don’t know how to explain his behavior in front of them and then he whispers, “Kiss me!” HUH? You really want me to….? Wait! I heard him right, didn’t I? He must see the confused look on my face so he bends a little closer, “Kiss me!” I….uh….I….. I take too long because his lips are on mine before I can do anything! OMG! Just finish this out! Whatever you do, don’t swoon and don’t hit him! The lady is beaming at us and the man looks very happy with what he sees. Am I missing something here? It’s like I’m the only one left out of a joke. Matt comes up for air and says as loud as he can, “You little minx, right now?” Umm…What? He scoops me up and we go off into a nearby alley or rather he’s dragging me off. Is this real or am I lost in a dream again? I think I remember waking up!

Once we’re in the alley I starting kicking to get away from him. He sets me down on my feet but is grinning from ear to ear. “What are you doing? What was that all about?” I’m flustered and embarrassed and just so confused! He almost doubles over laughing with his back to me. You’re going to laugh about this?! “Oh c’mon! I only gave the guy what he wanted.” He finally manages to say as he faces me. “They won’t listen that you and I are not a couple! We’ve both been trying to tell them yet they insist we are. I simply played along with their joke.” He crosses his arms, looking rather proud of himself.

“Well couldn’t you warn me or something? Geez! I was so lost!” I spit and sputter the words because I’m still trying to grip my own sanity here. “And we spent a lovebird’s vacation together?! Now what would Russ say to that?”

“Russ knows all about this! Sheesh, Maxey! Settle down. It’s not that big of a deal. Let’s just hang back here so we don’t have to deal with them anymore.” He walks past me to see if they’ve left. “You usually play along flawlessly. You didn’t have to be so lost just now. You said the lady was giving you wedding advice and all kinds of things. Wish they would quit though! This act gets old!”

“So you’re used to doing this? That’s what you’re telling me? “I’m a still bit flustered. I didn’t expect Matt to KISS me so this is just really throwing me! It was a thrill but it was such a surprise, I just…..I’m at a loss for words.

“Only when we come across them. What’s the matter? We’re actors, right? It’s what we do!” Matt is being so nonchalant about the situation but I feel I’m in a panic! “Oh wait!” He spins to face me. “You didn’t remember them? That’s why you did that! You honestly don’t remember them! Ugh! I should have thought of that! OK, you got me, Maxey. I’m sorry about all of this! I take the blame here.” Now he looks a bit embarrassed as well, his hand in his hair.

“It’s….. OK…I overreacted, I guess. I wasn’t expecting any of this.” Just grin and bear it now! What else can you do? It’s done and there’s no going back.

“No, I offer you my humblest apologies, Princess” Matt bows down elegantly on one knee before me, his head bowed and his arm across his chest. “I clearly didn’t think this through and I shouldn’t have left you in such a state.”

I giggle, “Get up silly! If anyone sees you, they’re gonna clobber us both!”  He really looks like a fairy tale knight down there.

“If I have upset your delicate person, then the ground is where I belong.” He picks his head up though, slightly to the side and smiles up at me. How can I not melt at that?! >Sigh< He really is a sight to behold! “Get up!” I try to pull him up. Remember! Can’t let on anything now! He finally stands up and smiles as his hand caresses my hair then cups my face. This time it’s a long smoldering kiss right on the lips. I’m done for! I have no defense for such! We look into each other’s eyes for a split second as I gently wipe his face then he grabs me and says, “Our bus is here!” Aww Man! My luck! We break out running and make it just as the doors close behind us. Whew!

“We made it! Now, on to the studio! Don’t worry, I think he will be there but I’ve arranged for you to stay with someone once we get to the place. She’s one of your friends, so you should be safe. If you need me though, she can find me.” He’s breathless.

“OK, two questions…does she have a name and how much does she know about my memory?”

“Of course she has a name! DUH! Her name is Rena. She doesn’t know much about your condition but she knows to keep you away from Jerry. I’m sure you can handle this. Just take it easy. You and she are old friends, so she will be glad to see you.”

“OK, I wish I had your confidence, but I’ll do my best.” My heart is still jumping but I’m not sure if it’s from his kiss or from going to this place. I’m nervous because I’m not sure what to expect and I’m nervous because I already had the unexpected happen! I know I can’t ask Matt to hold my hand through this, but I would feel much better if he were closer throughout this. >Deep Breath< All right now! You can do this, Maxey! You’re a girl who can handle what life throws at her, right? Mmmaybe. Maybe not! I don’t know, but I’ve got to try! The answers I need are out there and I have to sift through to find them.

He grabs my hand anyway and says, “We’re here!” OK….>sigh< here goes nothing……

Off the bus and into the sliding glass doors of a building, we’re greeted by the receptionist by name and she motions her head to one side to let Matt know where he needs to go. I’m really nervous to be here and honestly, none of this is familiar to me. People say hi or smile at us as we make our way down the hall. I try to be polite but I really don’t recognize any of them. He stops outside a door and I bump into him. “Oh sorry! Guess I wasn’t paying close enough attention.” I sheepishly say to him. He turns around and puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’s OK. Don’t look so worried! Your friend, Rena should be in here. I’ll see you when I’m done and we’ll go back together.”

“Are you really sure about this? I’m just really nervous!” I can’t seem to focus on just one thing because I have so many thoughts running through my head.

“Would you have rather spent the day with Dustin coddling you?” Was that sarcasm or jealousy?

“Oh so that’s what you think of me? Well isn’t it nice to know where I stand?!” Yes, that remark ticked me off.

“No, you’re just thinking your own thoughts….as usual! Look, it’s going to be alright so you can calm down my little spitfire. I’ll come get you and I made sure you won’t be alone. You want to find your answers; this is a good starting point. Now, just go in here and talk to her. It was your idea to come, remember?” Geez! You would have to rub that in! Before I can answer him back, he opens the door and practically pushes me in!

“Maxey! Oh my gosh! I’ve missed you so much!” Rena comes from behind a desk and runs to hug me. She moved so fast, I barely got to see her.

“Umm hi! Yeah, it’s me…back to bug everyone!” I manage to say over her shoulder.

“Oh the way you talk sometimes,” she laughs. She steps back and looks like she’s assessing me for something. This is awkward! She looks nice enough, short auburn hair, green eyes, slightly taller than me but then she is wearing high heels.  I can’t really place her at the moment, but I’ll play along as best I can.

“Matt told me you haven’t been quite on par with everything. You feeling OK?”

“I’m doing my best to handle what I can. Just have to get back into the swing of things, I suppose. How are things for you?” I’m trying to keep a smile, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

“Oh things stay hectic around here and, for now, everything else is rolling right along, so I can’t complain too much! He said your memory is causing problems? It’s not something really bad because that sounds a little scary.”

“No, I am working on that, so hopefully it can be resolved soon.” I don’t have a good reason, but I am so nervous around her. Something about this just does not feel right to me, but I can’t put my finger on anything in particular. Still, Matt arranged this, so I’ve got to trust him. I really thought though seeing another girl would be much easier than this.

“Well, Jerry will be glad you’re back. He’s been on a fit since you went away. No one can talk to him. I’m sure others will be glad to see you as well. You know, I don’t know how you manage to be so popular around here but I have a feeling it has something to do with your closeness to Matt.” She says this as if she’s almost jealous. Why should anyone be jealous of that? I’m not as close to him as Russ, so really? And Ugh! She had to mention Jerry! Not what I want to hear this early in the morning.

“I’ve never thought of myself as popular but if you say so. I’m just lucky to have such nice friends who care about me.” Not really sure how I can defend myself here so just play things off for now. “He told me that I should stay with you today. Do you really mind?”

“If Matt says it then I don’t mind. It will be fun spending the day with you! We don’t get to do that very often, always busy with work.” She’s looking over several papers. “I was surprised to get his call last night, but it was good to hear him. I don’t get his calls often. Must be nice to spend so much time around him.”

Really? Could she be any more obvious? This girl is dripping with envy and jealousy over Matt? >sigh< Now I remember! She’s had a huge crush on him since he first came around! Always gushing about his looks and everything about him! That’s why I don’t talk to her very much anymore! Oh no! Matt, you made a big mistake here! Of course she agreed to this, you were the one who asked! She would do just about anything for you, you doofus! Hmm I have to think of something because I can’t stay here and have her go on and on about him. I have my own problems where he is concerned! What to do?

“Oh he has his moments, just like he told me earlier about someone else. If I’m bothering you, I can find something else to do though. Really, don’t put yourself out on my account. I can explain things to him.”

“What? No! Not a bother to me! He arranged this, so it’s the very least I can do!” She grins and blushes every time she mentions him. Oh brother! “Besides, he should be busy with the show he’s working on so we should have the whole day.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that.” Man I feel so defeated! I have to come up with something to get out of here, but what? Think fast, Maxey! THINK!

“Why didn’t he escort you in? I thought I would see him bring you to me.” “Oh he did. He just pushed me in though. I guess he was in a hurry to get to where he needed to be, but he should be around again later.”

“You mean I still have a chance to see him?” She sounds like a giddy schoolgirl. It’s annoying but also pretty funny to see the effect he has on other girls as well. If he only realized how deep this went! Would he be surprised?!? Have to conceal my giggle here. Good thing she didn’t see him earlier….I’d probably never hear the end of it! “Hey I know! I can show around the studio since your memory is giving you fits. Maybe you can remember something along the way.”

“Uh, well OK, I guess that might help.” I have a feeling she’s doing this more in a hope to see him than to help me, but I can go along with this if I must. What would she do if she were face to face with him? Knowing him, he would just shrug her off.

��^]|O�O?

#My Story #personal

[cisco-fics-4-all]

Three Isn’t Always A Crowd

So I got a request for a Reverb fic from @kyandrila with the starters “Kiss me”, and “You didn’t see that coming?” and I had this idea that you’re about to read (or not, I’m not gonna force ya). I just got to thinking, what would happen if someone asked me to choose between Cisco And Reverb? And my conclusion was basically the same as that scene in “The Road to El Dorado”, you know that one, right? So here it is, hope you all like it! Enjoy!

He had fucked up. There was really no other way to put it, he had acted on an impulse, done something he shouldn’t have, and it had been a massive mistake. God how could he be so stupid? Back on Earth 2, if he’d let his emotions take hold like this, he would have never survived long enough to even meet his doppelganger, let alone you...perhaps it would have been better that way… It had been something of a hectic day when he’d hitched a ride with Cisco back to this world, he’d only just been treated for the injuries Zoom had caused him, he was still reeling slightly from the idea that he was now considered dead on his home world and as such couldn’t go back so long as Zoom was still alive. He was vulnerable, both physically and emotionally, which is probably the only reason your greeting had affected him at all. It had been an honest mistake on your part, how could you have known that your Cisco had a doppelganger on Earth 2, or for that matter that said doppelganger would be joining him on his trip home? The odds of such an occurrence were infinitesimally small, and yet somehow it had happened; and when Reverb had stepped through the portal and come out the other side to a beautiful woman rushing to kiss him, well he wasn’t going to say no. You had smiled at him like nobody had in far too long, and if he had to pinpoint the moment it all went wrong for him, he would have said it was when you smiled. Things had gotten awkward quite rapidly after that, once Cisco himself had made it through. If Francisco hadn’t been so dazed, he might have laughed at the shock on your face at seeing his double, he might have even made a witty comment about the women on this earth being much friendlier than the other, but he hadn’t; he’d simply watched as you looked him over, turning a dazzling shade of crimson before you ran from the room, too embarrassed to stay. That should have been the end of the whole affair, he should have forgotten your kiss and lived his new life on this earth without a second thought on what had happened that day, but he just couldn’t seem to forget you. The fact that after that, you’d started dating his doppelganger didn’t exactly help matters, but he had been your intended target in the first place, so he couldn’t exactly cry foul there, and he couldn’t really blame Cisco for reciprocating your affections….after all, he did, and they weren’t even his to reciprocate. You were far too kind to him as well, that was another fan to his flame; its strange how little value he’d put on kindness in his old life, only to have it be his bread and butter here, almost desperately seeking your kindness and friendship even though you offered it to him as freely as air to breathe. You had been the one to come to him after your awkward first meeting, still quite pink with embarrassment, but you were determined to apologize and make sure he hadn’t been made uncomfortable. He had laughed at the notion, making a comment about it being difficult to be uncomfortable with a pretty woman kissing you, a small thrill shooting through him as you blushed a shade darker. Your offer of friendship was the first he received from the team, before even his doppelganger’s, which honestly he wasn’t surprised by as he’d been less than friendly with Cisco in that alley; you were likely the only reason the others began to trust him, acting as a sort of sponsor for his transition to the good side, cheering him on with little smiles and quick hugs, all the normal things that friends do to encourage each other…and yet they were also all the things that made him want you. The mistake happened after a day of fighting, he had subbed in for Cisco so that you and him could have a date, though in his mind it was really so he could punch something to take his mind off of you and Cisco in a state of domestic bliss. That train of thought was what had distracted him, getting him knocked rather forcefully into a brick wall by a meta with super strength while Barry zipped around, trying for his lightening strike technique. Embarrassment had him sulking in his room set up in the Star Labs basement, and that was where you’d found him, a kind concerned smile on your face as you asked him if he were ok. Perhaps it was the pain he was in, or the kindness in your eyes as your hand rested on his arm, hell it might have even been the embarrassment he felt prodding at him from the inside to seek more comfort from you than your kinds words; whatever it was didn’t really matter anymore, what mattered was that he’d kissed you. He’d been gentle, using your hand on his arm to pull you close, pressing his lips to yours and going dizzy from the euphoria of finally doing it, only to be brought sharply back to his senses as you pulled back in shock. This time your shock was not amusing, your face going pale instead of pink as you swiftly stood and backed away from him. He knew from that moment he had done something terrible, something unforgivable, something that had likely destroyed his friendship with you if not the entire team all together. His mind couldn’t even formulate an apology, it was too busy screaming at him to get out, to run, to get as far away from you as he could so that he didn’t have to see the confusion in your eyes turn to fear. He’d sprinted from his room, running until his lungs told him he couldn’t go any further, locking himself in a dusty disused supply closet where he berated himself for his stupidity. The few shelves left within his hideout were soon smashed, their contents obliterated with vibrations until he had exhausted himself, sliding down the wall in a heap as silent tears stained his face. Sleep took him at some point, his exhaustion and the darkness around him lulling him into a dreamless slumber, covered in dust and dried tears on his face is how you found him, sleeping propped up against the wall like some ancient sentry long forgotten. “Francisco?” He startled awake, a small cloud of dust flying off of him as he jumped, his confused eyes blinking in the dim light until they looked up and found you. Your heart nearly broke as fear sparkled in his eyes, another cloud of dust rising into the air as he tried to shuffle away from you. “Y/N I-” he faltered, pausing to brush off the rest of the dust as he struggled to find the right words, “what...why are you…how did you even find me?” he settled on asking, his palms hastily scrubbing the tear tracks from his face. “Well I didn’t, Cisco did,” you admit softly, “after you ran I uh...well I tried looking for you myself, but I didn’t have much luck, so I had Cisco Vibe you,” you chewed your lip as he froze, undoubtedly running through the possibilities of exactly how your conversation with Cisco had gone, specifically why it was so important to find you. “Listen Y/N,” He turned to face you, but his eyes remained locked on your knees, unable to meet yours as he spoke, “I...I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me, but I swear to you it won’t happen again, I don’t want -” “Its ok,” you cut him off, smiling down at him softly, “you don’t have to apologize Francisco, I’m not-” “No it’s not ok,” he cut you off in turn, his eyes snapping up to yours, his jaw clenching before he went on, “it was inappropriate for me to kiss you without your permission first of all, and second you’re not even mine to kiss, you’re my friend, Cisco is the one who gets to kiss you, and I know that, so it doesn’t matter what my feelings for you might be, you and him are together, and I shouldn’t have….I shouldn’t have done what I did...I’m sorry.” You were at a loss for words for a moment, his face was so tense and rigid you didn’t even want to speak, you just wanted to gently soften him with a touch; but that would likely only confuse or frighten him, so you snapped back to your senses, carefully moving to kneel beside him so that your eyes were closer to the same level as his. “Francisco, what you did was...surprising to say the least,” you began, your gentle smile still in place as his mouth twitched on the edge of a frown, “I mean I know that I kissed you the day we met, but I thought that was just an embarrassing memory between us, I didn’t think it would lead to anything-” “Y/N please, I-” he tried to speak, but you shook your head, silencing him. “No Francisco just….just listen ok?” you reached out, putting your hand on his arm like you had before, his body immediately going rigid at your touch, but you kept it there, unimposing and gentle. “I didn’t think that kiss would lead to anything, especially since I started dating Cisco right after that, but I was obviously wrong,” you chuckled at how silly you felt for missing the signs, remembering them now they all seemed so obvious. Your little laugh however only made him even more uncomfortable, his eyes casting down to the floor just as you caught the glimmer of fresh tears in them. “Y/N...” he whispered, the edge of his voice shaking as he looked determinedly away, “please don’t...please...I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but please...don’t do this...don’t explain it to me like a child...I know what I did, I know there are consequences for these things...” his voice was beginning to shake even more now, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. You were beginning to grow nervous now, you didn’t want to upset him, you only wanted to explain to him…to tell him…but then maybe telling him wasn’t the right way to do this? Then you had an idea, “Francisco,” you said him name as soft and sweet as you could, your hand on his arm moving down to carefully circle his fist, “kiss me.” He didn’t move, didn’t even breathe really, he thought he’d hallucinated your words, his mind stuttering to a stand still as his heart began to pound. He raised his eyes to look at you, utter confusion reflected in them as his lips parted just enough to whisper, “What?” You decided repeating yourself was superfluous when instead you could act. You lifted your free hand to his face, carefully caressing his cheek as you pulled him closer and pressed your lips to his. The response he gave you was delayed a few moments, probably because he couldn’t believe what was happening, but when he did respond it made your lips curve into a smile against his. He kissed you back with a gentle urgency, the tension of his body melting away as his hands unclenched, grabbing hold of yours and clinging to it as though it was a life raft in a stormy sea. When you broke apart he gasped, his eyes closed as you looked at him, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he breathed in and out. When he finally did look at you, his mouth immediately curled up into a smile, but there was uncertainty in his eyes that made you frown slightly. “You didn’t see that coming?” you asked, hoping that was the source of the hesitation in his gaze. He shook his head, laughing softly as he answered, “Honestly, no I did not,” but his hand on your wrist held firm, and his smile faltered slightly as he added, “but I don’t...I don’t understand why?” “Why?” You repeated somewhat incredulous, “Well I...Francisco isn’t it obvious?” you smiled as you caressed his cheek, squeezing your hand around his wrist, “I’m not mad at you for kissing me, I’m actually kind of relieved because…well because I thought I was the only one who had….those sort of feelings-” “But what about Cisco?” he interrupted, “Y/N I want this more than anything, but I can’t…I won’t take you away from someone else, especially not my own doppelganger.” You blinked at him, having nearly forgotten about Cisco completely in your focus on telling Francisco how you felt, but at the mention of him your mind suddenly snapped back into place, “Oh, no Francisco, I’m not...I’m not breaking up with him for you,” the pain and sadness was immediately back in his eyes as you spoke, so you hastily continued, “we both…umm...how do I put this, we-” “What she’s trying to say is,” you both started as Cisco’s voice sounded from the closet doorway, a soft smile on his face as he looked down at you two floundering like awkward ducklings on the floor, “is that we would like to ask you out on a date, all three of us.” Francisco’s eyes went wide as he stared up at his doppelganger, then back down at you, “You...you want to what?” he asked, his brain about a hairs breadth away from completely crapping out. “When I asked Cisco to vibe you, I explained to him what happened,” you began, “and he was upset at first, because he thought I was upset about you kissing me...but when I explained to him that I was upset because I was now conflicted about my feelings for both of you-” “I offered the helpful solution of a polyamorous relationship,” Cisco finished for you, grinning at the mixture of surprise, confusion, and interest on Francisco’s face. “Hang on,” Francisco ventured, “so instead of getting angry that I kissed your girlfriend, you decided it was a better idea to just date me along with her?” Cisco gave him a curious little frown, “Why not?” he asked with a shrug, “I mean you were giving me the eye when we met on Earth 2, and I mean narcissism aside, you’re an attractive guy,” he shrugged again, “I mean you can say no if you want, we might be doppelgangers but I mean that doesn’t mean we both have to be bi.” Francisco’s eyes widened at that, “You’re actually serious,” he realized with a surprised smile, “you actually want to do this, to date her and me...” Cisco gave another shrug as he frowned thoughtfully, “Well I mean I don’t like, have a burning desire to date a guy with the same face as me, but I’ll give it a shot, I mean if Y/N has feelings for both of us, then who am I to force her to choose?” he stepped forward, putting his hands on your shoulders as he smiled down at you, “to be honest it’s kind of endearing to know that she loves both of us, its like she loves me in any universe,” he grinned as Francisco quirked an eyebrow at his comment. “I thought you said narcissism aside?” you asked as you looked up at Cisco, sticking your tongue out at him as he grinned back at you. “Oh come on, this is me we’re talking about, if he says yes then you’re both in for a long road of self love jokes, so y’all better buckle up,” he laughed and you laughed with him, but Francisco was silent, his expression unreadable as he regarded you both. After a moment, you gave his hand a squeeze and asked, “So...what do you think?” His brow furrowed, “What happens if I say no?” he asked, making your heart drop into your stomach at the possibility of being forced to choose between them. You honestly didn’t know who you would choose if he said no, because you loved Cisco and wanted to live a happy life with him for as long as possible, but you also loved Francisco, and you wanted to see him as happy as you were with Cisco, and you wanted to be the cause for that happiness. “Are you saying no?” Cisco asked in your place, saving you the struggle of responding, “because if you are then that means we’re back to square one here, and I gotta tell ya, that would be kind of a dick move putting Y/N in that position.” Francisco locked his eyes with yours, searching them for something you couldn’t figure out. Finally he smiled, shaking his head, “No I am not saying no,” he replied, “I supposed dating my doppelganger won’t be so bad, not if it means I get to have you.” You felt your cheeks burn as you smiled broadly at him. Before you could formulate words, you surged forward, wrapping your arms around him as he wrapped his arms around you in turn. This all felt like a dream, like any moment you would wake up in your bed at home with your conflicting emotions buzzing in your brain. “Aww,” Cisco cooed from above, “let me get in on this,” you felt him kneel down behind you, another set of arms encircling you as he pressed against your back. “Thank you,” you whispered through your happy tears, “thank you both so much.” “You can’t thank me for loving you,” Francisco whispered back, “it doesn’t work like that.” “Shut up and say you’re welcome,” Cisco replied as he nuzzled your hair. At that Francisco snickered, “This relationship won’t work if you keep up that attitude kid,” “Kid?” Cisco cried, “we are literally the same age-” “Oh both of you shut up,” you finally intervened, “just let me enjoy this moment for a little while before you two start squabbling.” “Sorry,” Cisco replied softly, hugging you both a little tighter. You smiled against Francisco’s neck as you hummed in reply, closing your eyes as you let yourself enjoy the moment. You knew you were incredibly lucky, not only to have such an understanding and loving boyfriend who was willing to bring another guy into your relationship just so you wouldn’t have to choose, but also to have two wonderful guys who were willing to enter a relationship together just so that they could share you. You sighed as you listened to your collective heart beats, the sound almost lulling you to sleep until: “So when do I get to make out with myself?” Francisco jibed, the smirk on his face coming through in his tone. “Hey buddy, maybe buy me a drink first?” Cisco replied haughtily, “we’re not all as easy as you.” You rolled your eyes as Francisco cackled back at him, this was going to be a very interesting relationship to say the least...

#The Flash #Cisco Ramon #Francisco Ramon #Request fic #Reader insert #three way relationship #I mean come on #I can't pick one #don't make me

[jakeander11]

OK, so this is a little different from my normal reblogs, but I‘m curious. I know I only have like, nine followers, but if any of you folks would want to read a beginning excerpt from the novel Im writing and perhaps message me with feedback, that would be kind of cool. Or, this will just fade into the aether, either way works. Anyway, here it is:

Gareth brushed sweat from his eyes, and tucked some damp, sandy curls behind his ear. The sun beat down from the cloudless sky, baking the streets of Greyport beneath it. Gareth shifted slightly, and felt another line of sweat run down his back beneath his yellow doublet. The slight ocean breeze coming in off the harbor only served to move the hot, humid air around, instead of cooling anyone down. It was not an ideal day to stand around and sing to crowds, but that was Gareth's role today.

He was standing on the raised edge of the white marble fountain in the center of the market district. The fountain was old, and much of the intricate carvings that adorned the sides had become soft and blurred from the wear of time, but the carved dolphin that formed the central spout was still easily identified.

The fountain’s lip was a good three feet off the ground, which would have given most street performers a commanding stage above the milling bodies of the market. Gareth, who stood a mere three-foot-two, was only placed a mere head’s height above the small crowd of market goers that had stopped to listen to the peculiar halfling in the brightly-colored clothing.

He hit the last note of his song, and allowed the final chord to carry into the air for a moment before he silenced the strings of his lute. The small crowd gave a slightly better than polite round of applause, and a few even whistled. Gareth smiled. It was always nice to have his talents appreciated. He wiped the back of his neck and smiled at the crowd. Gareth may not have been allowed to call himself a real bard, but he had been trained by one, and could perform as well as any of the official members of the guild.

"Thank you, my friends, thank you!” He bowed at the waist with a flourish of his free hand. Dirk frequently accused him of being unnecessarily dramatic, but as Gareth always thought, why not add a little flair to things when he could?

"Now, my throat is getting a bit sore, and it’s rather hot out, so my next song will be my last. I hope you enjoy it. Before I begin, however, I have a request to make. This is, after all, how I make my living.”

Which was more or less true, from a certain perspective.

"If you’ve been entertained here today, please consider making a small contribution, if only a few coins. After all, where else will you spend your copper sheaves, silver acorns, or even, dare I suggest, gold crowns today? Will you buy a cheap meat pie stuffed with gods know what beasts? A flimsy wind-up dragon that will break the very second you get home? Perhaps a ‘genuine’ elvish necklace made of tin, glass, and lies? No. I am your best spending option, and I thank you for it,” Gareth said.

As he spoke, he swept the faded yellow hat off his head and tossed it onto the cobblestones below his perch. It landed with a puff of dust, and Gareth launched into a spirited rendition of the Ballad of the Rose and the Thorn. It was a well known tale, filled with love and loss, betrayal and revenge. Gareth's old master had said it was the ballad that he could perform the best, and the earnings of previous performances had proved that statement correct. Gareth hoped that this audience would also consider it worth loosening their purse strings for.

He needn’t have worried. As he sang, he saw many of the people in the crowd pull out their purses and come forward to drop a coin or two into his hat, which quickly filled with a modest pile of coins.

Gareth glanced down, and saw that most of the coins were copper sheaves, with a couple silver eagles glinting amongst them. Cheap bastards, Gareth thought. From the amount of silk and velvet draping the bodies in the crowd, he had expected more silver, and perhaps even a gold crown or two.

From his vantage point on top of the fountain, Gareth could see the edges of the square relatively clearly. As he sang, a form slipped out of the darkened alley across the square. Dirk was right on time.

Dirk was a wiry man somewhere between twenty and thirty five years of age, as far as Gareth could tell. He was only of middling height, perhaps a few inches short of six feet tall, with dark hair and calculating eyes. He could be considered handsome, in a dangerous, disheveled sort of way. Usually, he maintained a few days worth of stubble over his sharp-edged features, and his face often sported some form of a mocking smirk. His regular choice of clothing was almost exclusively dark grays and blacks.

Today, however, Dirk was dressed in what he referred to as his “hunting clothes”. He’d disguised himself as a member of the prosperous merchant class, and Gareth barely recognized his partner.

Dirk's hair had been combed back and tied with a red silk ribbon into a tidy ponytail at the base of his neck, and was freshly clean shaven. He wore a crimson doublet embroidered in gold thread over a white silk shirt, and his black velvet breeches were tucked into shining leather boots. In short, he looked about as far from a thief as a civilian could be.

Which, of course, was the point. As he liked to say whenever Gareth asked him about his fancy clothes, "After you’ve mastered the skills, the most successful pickpockets are always the ones that don’t look the way thieves are expected to look. "

Dirk slipped into the crowd and began to slowly wind his way through it. He carefully chose a route that brought him near the most wealthy of the crowd, and he happened to bump into most of them as he gently pushed his way past. The men and women didn’t give him a second glance. None of them suspected that the purses and pouches they had just taken out to throw a coin or two into Gareth's hat were no longer on their person.

As Gareth sang, he watched the crowd closely, and kept an eye out for guards. After a while, he noticed a man on the edges of the small crowd that seemed to be watching Dirk.

He was a small man, dressed in the same undyed linen and wool clothing as many of the poorer shoppers in the square, with a dull brown cloak loosely draped over his shoulders. His brownish hair was cropped close to his head, and he had a short beard of the same color. Overall, Gareth thought he was a man of profoundly nondescript appearance. After a moment’s thought, Gareth decided that the man reminded him of a field mouse. Gareth couldn’t quite tell, but the man seemed to be following Dirk’s progress through the crowd out of the corner of his eye.

Dirk made it to the other side of the crowd, and continued on his way down another street. A few seconds after Dirk was out of sight, the mousey man turned and left the square, and walked quickly northwards.

Gareth didn’t like the timing. He finished his song, bowed one last time to the crowd, and collected his hat. As he started to walk down the narrow streets towards the inn that he and Dirk were staying at this week, Gareth found himself thinking about the mousey man and his unnerving behavior.

He made Gareth very uncomfortable. There were only so many explanations for what he had noticed, and the only one that wasn’t bad news was that Gareth was just being paranoid, attributing meaning to nothing. Everything else suggested that the man had caught on to the scam Dirk and Gareth had set up. If the man had, and if he decided to go to the city watch, the lives of the partners were about to get far more interesting than either would ever want. Gareth mulled over the problem, and decided that he should probably bring up the mouse man with Dirk that evening. He nodded to himself, and hurried down the street towards what passed for home.

"Look at all that copper. Not bad for a whole afternoon of performing. You could almost buy half a shoe with that.”

Gareth scowled at Dirk across the wooden table, and Dirk twisted his lips into a mocking smirk.

They were sitting at a scarred wooden table, in the corner of the tavern the pair had chosen as their base in the city. The room was full of people drinking and laughing their cares away, and the air was thick with the smell of ale and pipe smoke.

Dirk had changed out of his merchant costume, and was now dressed in his usual dark clothes. He wore a sleeveless black leather jerkin over a grey, rough-spun shirt, and his grey trousers were tucked into the tops of his worn, black leather boots. Dirk's heavy leather belt was festooned with a variety of small bags and pouches, with a dagger on each hip.

In broad daylight, Dirk’s regular clothing, coupled with his overall appearance, had a tendency to make people look twice and secure their purses. Under his preferred cover of night, however, nobody saw him coming until it was far too late.

Gareth shuddered and forced his thoughts away from the memories they were heading towards. Dirk was a consummate professional, and they got along reasonably well in their partnership, but sometimes, when Gareth thought too hard, Dirk scared the living hell out of him.

“Alright, fine, yes. I know. Honest street performing isn’t about to make us rich anytime soon. You don’t need to rub it in. I’m guessing you did better?” Gareth asked.

Dirk’s smirk shifted into a gloating, self-satisfied smile, and his eyes glinted.

“Oh yes. Much better. They may have been cheap sons of whores, but they sure as hell weren’t poor.”

Dirk glanced around the crowded room, then lifted a large leather bag from where it had been sitting on the floor next to his chair and dropped it on the table. It landed with a heavy thud, and the clink of precious metals.

“Forty-seven crowns, twenty-six eagles, and seventy-nine sheaves for only eight good minutes of cutting purse strings.” Dirk sat back in his chair and crossed his arms smugly. “I love this city.”

Gareth stared at the bag on the table. This was the largest prize from their scheme that they had ever collected, by a rather wide margin.

“That’s… That’s a lot of money," Gareth said.

Dirk laughed softly. “Yes, Gareth, it is. We do this for a month, and we'll be rich.”

“Or, we get caught and spend a while in the dungeons. Or lose a hand, depending on how lenient the magistrate is feeling that day.”

Dirk’s smile soured, and he scowled at Gareth.

“We won’t get caught. Nobody in that crowd gave me a second look today," Dirk said.

“I’m not sure that that’s entirely true, actually," Gareth said.

"What?"

"Well, earlier today, when you were collecting all that," Gareth gestured at the bag of coins on the table. "I thought I saw a man watching you. I couldn't be entirely sure, but it looked like he was following your progress through the crowd, and he took off towards the citadel as soon as you left the market."

Dirk frowned.

"You're absolutely sure he was watching me?"

"I didn't say that, but it seems a little too much of a coincidence, doesn't it? Maybe we should move on again, not press our luck here tomorrow. This was a good haul today. Maybe that's enough here?"

Dirk glanced around the crowded tavern, then leaned in over the rough wooden table.

"Gareth, we made more today in this city than we've made in the last four towns combined. Think of what we could walk away with after a couple days of this! Tell me, where else are we going to do this well?" He asked.

"I don't know, Dirk, but what if they're on to us here? I like coin as much as the next guy, but I like my hands and freedom more."

Dirk sat back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair, his face calculating. After a moment, he spoke.

“All right, Gareth. How’s this: We go back to the market tomorrow and do it again. If you see the man again, signal to me, and I can follow him down an alley and cut his throat. Problem solved.”

“Dirk!” Gareth quickly looked around the tavern, fearful that someone had heard his partner. Fortunately, the sounds of general carousing were loud enough that nobody could hear one small conversation amidst the din. He turned back to Dirk and scowled fiercely at him.

“We are not going to murder a man just because he might, perhaps, possibly be on to us. That not how this works. We’ve talked about this. Murder is never our go-to plan.”

Dirk smirked.

“Not your go-to, at least. But yes, fine, I remember the terms of our agreement. How’s this for an alternative. Remember when we were in Bansbury?”

“Yes, we nearly got caught in Bansbury. Because you wanted to try a second day. Like right now,” Gareth said peevishly.

“Exactly! But we didn’t, because you gave the signal that we have agreed on, the story about the Lucky Thief. It worked, and I got away clean. We do that again. If this mysterious gentleman was actually onto to us, and an informant, and there are extra guards in the market, tell that one. I’ll be listening, and can slip off into the shadows. If he wasn’t, we get to make a lot of money again. Fair?”

Gareth pursed his lips, but couldn’t find any particular reason to object to Dirk’s plan. They did have a signal, and after all, he wasn’t even positive that the mousey man had really been watching Dirk. It could’ve been a coincidence. Gareth looked at the bag of coins on the table. It had probably just been a coincidence. He would just keep a closer watch on the crowd, and be ready to warn Dirk.

“Yeah, alright. That’s fair. We’ll go back again tomorrow.”

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day Thirty

I am exhausted today. 

I managed to go to the gym close to 20:00 last night and still worked on my lesson planning for an extra hour after I got home. I need to start managing my time better so I don’t burn out from exercising as well as teaching. 

I only had two classes today, which was nice. But my young tots made me very tired and exasperated just from not listening to my instructions about their written assessments. I made some lovely templates on the backs of the test papers; all my students had to do was turn the page, read the instructions and follow the written cues. But noooooo-ho-ho, they kept asking me what to do because they clearly didn’t read my instructions or listen to a word I said. I know they’re ESL students, but when I’m literally translating my instructions on the smart TV using a Korean-English dictionary and putting instructions on your test papers and you’re still not digging what I’m putting down, then you’ve missed the last bus completely. As C would put it: ‘You’re going somewhere. It’s not to college, but it’s somewhere.’ 

My third graders managed to at least listen to my ‘one student at a time’ rule when it came to bombarding me with questions and pleas for assistance. My fourth graders weren’t so lucky. After too many interruptions and too many students shouting for my attention from the back of the classroom like they were waiting in line at a night club, I dragged them all into the hallway and calmly told them that they were not listening to me and that they need to follow my instructions more carefully in the future. 

And then we did 20 more Jumping Jacks. 

If my fourth grader boys keep pissing me off and flagrantly ignoring my classroom rules, I might not have to keep going to the gym from all the exercise I’ll end up doing with them. I don’t know how SH deals with them every day as their homeroom teacher. Then again, she’s tough as nails and crazy as shit, but in a fun way, so this is probably right up her alley. 

I got through class praying that my young tots will finish their assessments on time by tomorrow. Then again, my fifth and sixth graders aren’t nearly as ahead with their writing either, so I guess it’ll be a mad rush to the finish line as per usual. I love my job - not. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing my marking rubrics, double-checking criteria and then preparing additional activities for the students who finished their assessments so they’re not sitting around in class. Then I left work at 16:30 and went to the supermarket to buy a French baguette to make bruschetta for Game Night. The closer it gets to the day, the more I look forward to it. It’ll be good to blow off some steam in a healthy and fun way for a change. Plus, it’s been so long since I played some good video games on a console that’s bigger than my PS Vita. One of thee days, I should really just buy myself a Playstation or an X-box.

I chatted with D for a bit after she invited me to hang out with her and another friend for her birthday next week. I was really touched by the invitation, so I definitely want to find her a cute birthday present before I meet up with her. She told me that the other friend she invited along is Filipino and she told him briefly about what went down with X. She also told him to be discreet, which I thought was awfully considerate of her. But I told her that it’s not necessary and that her friend doesn’t need to tiptoe around me. Sure, I don’t have the best feelings towards X and certain aspects of the Philippines, but I’m not going to actively take it out on X’s other countrymen who haven’t lied to me or cheated me out of my hard-earned money. Despite all of it being a touchy subject, I don’t want to avoid it or get defensive about it. The stuff that happened with X was really shitty and it still hurts a lot, but I don’t want to dwell on it; at least not in mixed conversation with other people. 

Earlier, H asked me a question at work about how to arrange for transportation from a hotel to the airport if you’re unable to use the free airport shuttle service because your flight is too early in the morning. So I told her about my experience when X and I stayed at a hotel in her hometown and we had to use a taxi for my absurd 4am flight and that I was able to arrange it through the hotel front desk. The hotel booked the taxi for me at 2am and I just paid for it; can you say ‘Eh, presto?’. Anyway, it definitely twinged bringing up memories of X while talking to H. Hopefully, it didn’t show too much. I just want to be normal around other people and not be seen as that tragic woman who got her heart broken by someone who wasn’t worthy of her love in the first place. If and when H finally asks me about X, I’m just going to tell her that we broke up, it sucked, but that X’s health is fine and us going our separate ways was for the best. At least most of that will be true. So whether D’s friend or I mentions the Philippines or not, I’m not going to over-think it too much and just try to be a good friend that helps D celebrate her birthday however she wants to. 

I hesitated for a good month over this, but I finally texted L. It’s dumb, but I felt guilty about texting her, even though we’re friends. X’s accusations about not loving me anymore because of my inappropriate crush on L while we dated kept churning around in my head. Sure, it was pretty shitty that I caught feelings for L, albeit very brief, superficial and completely one-sided without L being the wiser. And yes, I had a drink with her at a bar even while knowing full well that X was ‘sick’ and probably wouldn’t be happy that I saw L again. When I agreed to meet L that time for a drink, I needed to know if I still felt something for her. So I tested the waters and I went out with her that night. L didn’t drink because she picked me up in her car and I drank one mild cocktail which didn’t even give me get me tipsy. But we laughed together and I even told L all about X. That night actually made me realise that my crush on L had just been a stupid crush because I’d been missing X. That night cemented my feelings for X - what a joke. It was all pointless in the end, whether I went out with L or not. X would’ve used any excuse in the book to do any shady shit she liked to me. 

But back to L. I’m glad I had the courage to text her because I felt ok while talking to her. There were no weird butterflies or awkward sensations happening anywhere in my body or brain. L and I were having an especially difficult time communicating; she’s trying hard to practise her English, but some things inevitably get lost in translation along the way. She’s still adorable, sweet, statuesque and beautiful, but foraging through our confusing conversation made me realise that I’m ok with just being platonic friends with L. Plus, she’s still hella married and has a 13-year old child to boot. I’ll probably still perv on her from time to time because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t perv a little on other people. But I think it’s close the book on this strange, pseudo-romantic chapter of my warped life. 

There’s always R to perv on I guess. Besides having a pesky boyfriend and being waaaaaayyyy out of my league, her English is perfect and she seems like a lot of fun. Maybe I’ll actually sign up for one of her Pilates classes in the near future. But her rates are expensive - maybe I could haggle with her, Chinese-style? Pffft, who the fuck am I kidding? She could just give me that gorgeous, dimpled smile of hers and I’d probably sign my entire pay cheque over to her. 

I think I may have a problem...

Urgh, I’d better wrap up now and exercise soon. Since I went shopping earlier, I decided to just exercise at home. Luckily it’s not another suicidal weight loss workout tonight, just some knee and shoulder strengthening exercises. Hopefully, I can shed some of the carbs and fat I ingested from the KFC I ate earlier. And after that, I really need to rest before I run out of juice. 

My friend LO from back home keeps laughing at the song lyrics that I post on WhatsApp in relation to break-ups. I can’t help it, it’s cathartic for me to unleash my feelings for and about X through song lyrics. I can’t talk to X right now and tell her exactly how shitty I think she is, so I’ve got to get my kicks in somewhere. 

I never knew that break-up songs could be so poignant when I listen to them now. There was a time long ago when I wished that I could relate to every passionate feeling explored in sad songs. But I’m wiser now and I finally know that it’s easier on my heart not to have experienced any of this hurt at all. I’m not saying I regret dating X, not exactly. I’m just saying that I was naive to think that there was something glamorous about getting your heart ripped into pieces by someone you loved and thought you knew. 

It’s really not great at all. 

Still, the songs help. Exercising helps. Work and my annoying students help. Even my annoying flirtations help in their own way. They stop me from cutting myself off completely from people and things who can help me feel happy and alive again. It helps me see that sometimes shitty things happen to you. Sometimes shitty people happen to you. But it doesn’t have to knock you down. 

After your breathing slows and the pain is muted, you can get back up again, dust yourself off and keep living any which way you want to. 

#breakupblog

[blueangelofxenobladechroniclesx]

The Legend of Cross Chapter 1

Chapter 1: N Los Angeles

(Disclaimer I own nothing of Xenoblade!)

 Cross was still in Awe at New Los Angeles and taking in the sights.

“How about I show you around the city to jog your memory a bit,” said Elma.

“Ok sure,” said Cross, “Maybe going around will help me remember more of everything.”

Cross and Elma were taking the elevator down.

Meanwhile somebody on the screen was talking.

“This is your director General, Maurice Chausson,” he said, “10 more crew members were located, and we are working hard to bring them back to the safety of our city.”

As he was going on, Elma was surprised at what he heard.

“How long did it take him to become the Director General?” she asked herself.

“2 day ago ma’am,” said someone from behind.

Cross looked to see a short haired woman and a man who was taller than both of them.

“He might become the emperor by next week if he keeps this up,” said the man.

“Irina, Gwin,” said Elma, “Good to see you.”

“Who’s the newbie?” asked Irina, “Taking on trainees now?”

“Right, you haven’t met these two yet,” said Elma, “This is Irina Akulov, and Gwin Evans.”

“So I take it he’s one of the survivors?” asked Irina.

“THE survivor,” said Elma, “He was the only one that I found in that stasis pod.”

“Wait, I thought 10 members were found,” said Gwin.

“You’re so naïve Gwin,” said Irina, “Chausson wouldn’t let the truth in one of his good speeches.”

Cross chuckled a bit.

“You can call me Irina, I’m with the interceptors,” said Irina.

“Good to meet you Irina,” said Cross as he shook her hand.

“Firm grip,” she said.

“Call me Mr. Evans,” said Gwin, “I’m in her division as well, but you can also just call me Gwin.”

Cross nodded.

“So how do you 3 know each other?” he asked wanting to know.

“We were in the Coalition forces together working in a small group called the Skeleton Crew,” said Elma, “I was a colonel, Irina was a lieutenant and Gwin was a the most recent member.”

“He was one hell of a recruit too,” said Irina, “You should see him out in the battlefield with his longsword in hand.”

Gwin blushed a bit.

“But I would remind them that those ranks aren’t needed anymore since we’re on this new planet if I thought they would listen,” said Elma.

“Its not about the ranks ma’am,” said Irina, “Its about the respect. And you’ve earned it all.”

“Alright,” said Gwin imitating an announcer voice, “Irina wins the award for best ass-ki….”

It was followed by a punch to Gwin’s shoulder from Irina.

“Well I think its time for me and Gwin to head back to work,” said Irina, “Til next time.”

They started to leave and Cross smiled.

“Those two seem nice,” he said.

“Well, once you get to know them you’ll think more than that,” said Elma.

Cross and Elma were walking around the Industrial District.

“This place seems really high tech,” said Cross.

“Well this is where we start manufacturing new technology such as….” Said Elma.

“That flying thing over there?” interrupted Cross.

“Flying thing…” said Elma.

She saw a flying object.

“A Skell that flies….” Said Elma.

It was smoking in the back and started to land somewhere.

“C’mon let’s check it out,” said Elma.

Cross started to follow but heard tires scratch.

He turned around and saw a young  black haired girl driving a car.

She stopped where the skell was did a diagnostic.

A man came out and threw his helmet down.

“Shit!” he said, “That was way too close!”

The young girl was looking at the diagnostic she did.

“Listen,” said the man, “I know what exhaust smells like and it was in the cockpit.”

“OH I know,” said the girl, just let me…..”

She found the problem.

“Man, it’s a good thing I caught that,” she said, “The intake/exhaust bypass was reversed.”

“Another test run I presume,” said Elma walking by.

“Elma welcome back,” she said.

“Good thing you had Doug by the controls,” said Elma.

“And would this be one of the crew members you found?” asked the girl.

Elma nodded.

“Welcome aboard, stranger,” said the girl, “I’m Lin Lee Koo, NLA’s top mechanic and fix it gal.”

“I’m Cross,” said Cross introducing himself, “So what exactly happened here?”

“That usually doesn’t happen,” she said.

“I know it doesn’t Lin,” said Elma.

“She looks a bit young to do something like this,” said Cross.

“I get that a lot,” said Lin, “I’m actually 13 years old.”

“As young as she looks, she’s one of our best talents,” said Elma.

“Most of the time,” said Doug.

“Moving on…. You guys heading back to the barracks?” asked Lin.

“Yeah,” said Elma.

“How about taking the transport,” said Lin, “It’ll be a great way to see the city.”

“That sounds fun,” said Cross.

“Doug you can clean up here and fix the skell,” said Lin, “Thanks for your help.”

“Wait what?” asked Doug.

Lin started to leave with Cross and Elma.

“Why am I cleaning up YOUR mess in the first place?!” asked Doug, “LIN!”

They made it to a transport and started to lift off.

“Get a load of this view,” said Cross.

“I know right,” said Lin, “This is the one thing about NLA that I never get tired of.”

“Speaking of which, does anything here jog your memory?” asked Elma.

“No not really,” said Cross.

“How about you give us the express tour Lin,” said Elma, “We don’t have much time.”

“NLA is divided into 4 districts,” said Lin, “The Industrial District is where we just left, where we work on food production, skells, etc. etc.”

They were flying near a district that looked like a local store area.

“This is the commercial district, where we have restaurants, stores, and everything shopping wise,” said Lin.

“It’s the closest you can get to a downtown,” said Elma, “And it can get crowded at certain times.”

“To your right is the Residential District,” said Lin.

They were all looking at a park like area.

“If you ever feel overworked or tired, you can sit at a bench and read a book and so on and so forth,” said Elma.

“Its my favorite place to zone out,” said Lin.

They were at their destination.

“And last but not least, The Administrative District,” said Lin smiling, “This place is home to Blade HQ, the big tower.”

“Whoa,” said Cross amazed.

“Its also got an armory alley, and the barracks where we live,” said Lin, “And this concludes our tour.”

“Thanks Lin,” chuckled Elma with a smile.

They all got out.

“Let’s get you to the barracks then I can file in my report,” said Elma, “They’ll be eager to hear about you.”

“Sure,” said Cross.

“Just so you know,” Lin whispered quietly in Cross’ ear, “She’s single.”

Cross’s face turned red.

They made it to Blade Barracks.

“And here we are,” said Lin, “The Blade Barracks.”

“You’re a guest until we get you registered,” said Elma.

“So what all is in the registration process?” Asked Cross, “I can’t wait to get started.”

“I think I can answer that one,” said somebody walking by.

It was a man near his 50s with a scar on his lip.

“You must be the newest recruit,” he said.

“Secretary Nagi,” said Lin greeting him.

“Ms Koo, always kipper,” said Nagi.

“On the way I saw Doug Barrett, and he wasn’t as upbeat,” said Nagi, “Is there anything I should know about.”

“Not really,” said Lin.

“And Elma, good work out there,” said Nagi, “Glad to know you found another member.”

“Just doing my job,” said Elma as she smiled, “So how about we talk inside about registration.”

They all went inside.

“Allow me to formally introduce myself,” said Nagi, “My name is Kentaro Nagi, captain of the White Whale, and who was also charged with keeping Peace.”

“He’s an excellent person to talk to when you’re wanting to do some work,” said Elma.

“I believe he seems more than capable for a job here at Blade,” said Nagi, “From the looks of it, he seems like he’s worthy of the job.”

“How about we give it some time and fill him in on the information,” said Elma, “He seems to suffer from some form of memory loss.”

“From the stasis?” asked Nagi.

“Correct,” said Elma, “He could barely remember what happened after the white whale or anything.”

“I see,” said Nagi, “Where should I begin?” asked Nagi.

“How did we end up here on Mira?” asked Cross.

“2 years ago was when it happened; the destruction of Earth,” said Nagi, “Our planet was caught in the middle of a great battle with technology and weapons far more superior than our own, our planet reduced to ashes.”

“I spend days wondering how this could’ve been avoided,” said Elma.

“What we do know is without your help, the Project Exodus would never have happened, and we’d all be dead,” said Nagi, “Once we learned about what was coming we prepared Project Exodus, and while it wasn’t perfect, we still managed to save many of our friends and family.”

“We spent 2 years wondering around space, with one priority; find a planet to settle on,” said Elma, “We thought the worst was over but we were wrong.”

“The Xenoforms caught up with us and wanted all of humanity destroyed,” said Nagi, “We lost control and gravity took it from there.”

“Why would they want to destroy humans?” asked Cross.

“We’re not sure, all we know is that they do,” said Elma, “Once the dust settled we set everything up to how it is today.”

“So what’s Blade?” asked Cross.

“Blade is an acronym; Builders of a Legacy After the Destruction of Earth,” said Nagi.

“Catchy,” said Cross.

“We needed a big list of people from police to surveyors, and it was too much for one government to handle by itself, and so Blade was born,” said Nagi, “Our top mission is to find and retrieve the Lifehold.”

Elma showed everybody a picture of it.

“The White Whale was made to carry many people who were in stasis,” she said explaining it, “However it broke off when the White Whale crash landed here on Mira.”

“So what’s the process of registration?” asked Cross.

“We ask all members for age, name, and occupation, a requirement for all NLA citizens,” said Nagi, “And a short survey of your state of health.”

“It gets you access to almost everything,” said Lin.

“Lin how about you take our guest ourside for some fresh air and show him around the district,” said Nagi.

“Sure thing sir,” said Lin.

They walked outside.

 It Comes Back to You from Smokes and Mirrors

4 AM beside myself And what I think of mental health All the things that worry me All the things you don't believe I've been told just what to do Where to look and point my view All the things that I could be I think I learned in therapy Am I just a shadow you drew?

“Its not every day we allow a civilian to tour the Administrative District,” said Elma.

“I think Nagi has his eyes on Cross and must really want him to join,” said Lin.

“The AD has everything a Blade needs without extra fluff,” said Elma.

Lin was busy having her eyes on a skell.

“Whoa…. That is such a cool skell,” said Lin.

“That is some sweet technology!” said Cross.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” said Lin geeking out with Cross, “Aren’t those thing just super cool?!”

“No, they’re ultra cool!” said Cross.

“The lasers, force fields, and transformation signals!” said Lin, “I love almost everything about them!”

She pulled out something.

“I don’t normally tell anybody but I’ve been writing a skell fanfic,” said Lin, “Let me pull it up and…”

“Lin,” said Elma.

“Right,” she said.

It comes back to you, it comes back to you All the things that you had lost will find their way to you It comes back to you, it comes back to you Looking back into the past and I can see it through It comes back to you, oh, oh [3x] It comes back to you

“Skells were normally a defensive measure against alien threats, but we were soon outgunned and outnumberd,” explained Elma, “But stil looj around. Without skells, NLA wouldn’t be how it is today.”

“Do blades get to use skells?” asked Cross.

“Whoa easy there tiger,” said Lin, “I know you’re eager, but blades don’t choose the skells, the skells choose them.”

“Blades need a skell license,” said Elma, “They’re very complex machines and there’s no so many to go around either.”

“Oh,” said Cross.

“But if you play your parts right then you’ll get a skell if you’re lucky,” said Lin, “You just gotta prove to them that you’re ready to take the exam.”

“Around here is Mission Control,” said Elma, “Its where you can find mission that post up when you’re not busy.”

“The important thing is to find a mission that best suits your criteria,” said Lin, “Such as outfitters looking for certain parts for weapons, or Interceptors hunting down certain indigens.”

“Next to it is the scout consoul where you can find other fellow blades to help out on a mission if its too difficult,” said Elma.

“So ready to join up?” asked Lin.

“Hold on a sec, Lin,” said Elma chuckling.

“I’m just saying you’d be an idiot not to wanna join,” said Lin smiling.

“Next is armory alley,” said Elma.

They went over to armory alley.

Mocking birds and diamond rings Oh, I have thought of greater things All the things that fly by me All the lives that I could lead Maybe I was born for that Or maybe I was first to last You could call it cowardice But leave me to my studied bliss Am I just a shadow you drew?

“In this area, you can look for and buy new weapons and gear that fit with your rank, which goes up by 10,” said Elma.

“Its not about fashion,” said Lin, “Its about survival, so choose wisely.”

“Got it,” said Cross.

“You’re probably wondering about the things on our wrist,” said Lin as she showed it to him, “These are our com devices.”

“They can show you your stats, current mission, and of course I already told you about the yellow dot,” said Elma.

“It looks interesting,” said Cross.

They went to Blade Tower.

“We stop by here to see Blade HQ,” said Lin, “Higher-ups like Nagi, and Commander Vandham spend a lot of their time in this location.”

“Same with government leaders like Chausson,” said Elma, “Remember this place as this is where you’ll want to go when you finish key missions.”

“Sure thing,” said Cross.

It comes back to you, it comes back to you All the things that you had lost will find their way to you It comes back to you, it comes back to you Looking back into the past and I can see it through It comes back to you, oh, oh [3x] It comes back to you

“And that about does it for our tour,” said Lin, “So you ready?”

“You bet I am,” said Cross.

“Hold on there slugger,” chuckled Elma, “I’m glad you’re eager but we just want you to know this key information you can make an informed decision to join.”

“Right,” said Cross.

“I’m sure it made a good impression, but in the end  your decision will be just that,” said Elma smiling at him, “Now let’s head back to the barracks. I’m sure Nagi is waiting for us.”

#Cross #Elma #Xenoblade X #Lin Lee Koo #NLA #New Los Angeles #legend of Cross #thelegendofcross

[lifeisbutadream4me-blog]

The Peter Dilemma

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Spice eater. Three male suitors, but only two shall remain. (This post is a work in progress) 

Suitor 1: The Demon/ Old Flame

Suitor 2: The Catholic Fallen Priest

Suitor 3: Cal (Poor Cal) 

Background on Peter for Readers/Lurkers

Peter VanLoventhual, is the richest Vampire nobleman in my canon, however thats not his claim to fame. He’s famous for being an alternative model, and being a spokesperson for his mental illness (Schizophrenia).

Peter’s story starts shortly before his birth. His parents are traditionally of noble vampire birth, but not noteworthy. His parents met at the age of 15 and immediately become smitten with one another. They marry, have a daughter and a son. Shortly after Peter’s birth, however, it became very apparent that Peter’s producing (dude what?! <a href=“lifeisbutadream4me.tumblr.com/Me”> Explanation< /a>) father suffered from a mental illness. He loses himself in his madness and ultimately commits suicide. 

Peters father seems to cope well to everyone he meets on the outside, but internally, he’s never able to get over the loss of his love. Peter, who seems to be a spitting image of his late father, starts to fill the void. Peter’s father begins to groom Peter into the perfect spouse. Peter’s father decides to freeze his son 10 years ahead of most vampires. Leaving him to forever look like a child. Shortly after the freezing, Peter starts to show signs on the mental illness that consumed his late father. As the panic of the reality starts to set in, Peter’s father decides to make plans that would grant his son a decent life. 

Enter Suitor 1: Hans

Peter’s father decides that the only way he can protect his son from those darn dirty suitors, is to become the most powerful vampire house. How to do this? Make money! So against the advice of everyone around him, he decides to take a demon pledge. Hans agrees to the pledge, and he is made the head butler of the house. 

When Hans arrives, he is met with the current estate butler, a frenchman, who informs him that the young master has gone missing. Rather than be upset at this, frenchman just shrugs it off. 

“That boy’s head is always in the clouds. He’ll return home when he’s hungry, and if he doesn’t, he’ll be doing the house a grand favor.” 

Hans picks up the young master’s scent, and treks out to go and find him. He finds him in a field close by. 

 He walked along a dirt path that led from the back of the house into the lush Swiss/German country side. As we walked a breeze rustled the green grass and wild flowers. Like a scene from the Sound of Music, the snow capped mountains finished the panoramic scene as they stayed nestled in the background. Hans paused when he saw him. He was laying amongst the grass on his side. His beautiful golden blonde hair swayed with the breeze, but his swiss blue eyes seemed to gaze off into a distance the human eye could not see. His skin and complexion were perfect, almost doll like. He was every aryan’s wet dream and it took almost all of Hans not to claim Peter as his. Hans sat next to the nobleman and began to plot his next move. 

Hans completes the pledge with relative ease, but at the cost of two casualties. He manages to secure quite a number of hotel properties for the family to manage, launching them into the top percent of rich noblemen. This pleases Peter’s father, but only makes Peter’s sister more bitter with rage. She eventually plans a way with her husband (the french butler) to murder Peter and her father while they slept. Peter and his father shared a bed, and room, and the night of the fire, the french butler had locked the door from the outside. After many cans of gasoline, the fire was started. 

Hans kicks open the butler’s door to the suite to swoop in and save Peter. He leaves Peter’s father to parish, as his soul was the prize Hans got for completing the pledge. Hans ensures that Peter’s sister lost her hold to the VanLoventhual estate, making Peter rich. Hans claims Peter that night, but his happiness is shortly lived. 

Enter Suitor 2: The Fallen Catholic Priest

Sam Lorde is an original fallen priest who managed to keep divinity after the great conflict. He was granted priesthood through the Vatican by becoming a liaison for the Vatican to the Damned. He was paged to a small asylum located in Germany. He was greeted by a priest and led to the back of the establishment where the ‘troubled’ children where housed. They reached the end of the hallway and the priest opened the peep hole to one of the rooms. 

The room was well lit, despite the dreadful looking hallway. The sun shown through the window onto the bed that was set next to the wall. There laid a boy, his blonde hair was dirty and matted. His beautiful blue eyes seemed to stare at our direction, but wasn’t. The boy seemed to have an awe to him, that not even Sam could put his finger on.  “Well father, you hit the jackpot.” The priest unlocked the door to the room and opened the door. The boy did not move an inch, it didn’t even seem like he was breathing. “We found him wondering a dirt road outside this city. He collapsed into Sister Hilda’s arms and has stayed in this state since.” The priest followed Sam into the room.  “So, where do I come in..?” Sam asked, surely an asylum had dealt with a mute before.  “Ah.” The priest walked over to the boy and lifted his top lip gently. Revealing a vampire fang. It seemed to have been decorated with gold and some gemstones. The tip had been replaced with the tip of a crystal or diamond. “Oh, interesting.” Sam replied. Just then the boy sat up, the priest jumped back and Sam froze in his steps. The boy rubbed his eyes and scanned the room, first eyeing the priest, and then his eyes darted over to Sam. They widened.  “Papa!!” The boy shouted as he hugged Sam tightly. The priest shot Sam a glare. “Papa!! I was sure he killed you!” The boy started to sob into Sam’s robes. Sam wrapped his arms around the boy, feeling the warmth from his embrace. “Now, now, everything is alright..” Sam tried to re-assure the boy, using what little German he knew.

Sam is then taken to his room, but feels uneasy about leaving the pretty blonde alone, so he requests to take full custody of him. Once in his room, Sam runs a bath and cleans up Peter. After a good nights sleep and a some food, Peter become coherant enough to explain to Sam his situation. Peter told Sam that his father had taken out a pledge, and that once that pledge was completed, the demon got drunk with power. The demon had set fire to his families house and thats how he escaped. Sam listened to Peter’s story and asked what Peter’s plans were for the future, since it was obvious he was older than he looked. Peter pondered for a bit, and then asked Sam if it would be ok if he tagged along with him, as an altar boy. 

“An altar boy, you mean follow me around to different places?” Sam asked Peter, who nodded yes. A sly smile crossed Sam’s lips. “That comes with a price you know. It’s not cheap to keep a child around.” Peter knew the proposition well, and surprisingly it didn’t bother him. To him, it seemed like a fair trade, but the only one he knew. “I give myself to you.” Peter simply replied, and watched Sam, who was taken back slightly, grin. 

Sam taught Peter the church’s teachings, and two grew together as a couple. Peter was happy to be loved by someone who loved him for himself, and Sam was elated to finally have a partner who was also damned. The two lived together in Vatican City, while constantly traveling to various churches throughout Europe. 

Peter and Sam are separated after Hans discovers them at an inn in the French countryside. Hans sets up a ploy to fish Sam and Peter to a room and created an explosion as a diversion. While unconsious, Hans manipulated Sam’s memories of Peter. 

Hans grinned as he watched Peter squirm. Soon enough he’ll be begging for his embrace. “He won’t remember you. He’ll remember it as you abandoning him. So its best if you let him go now.”   Hans later reclaims Peter as his and the two eventually settle in London after WW2. Hans runs a branch of the Bank of the Damned, while Peter is left in the flat located above the bank. They two have two children, Fritzy and Henry.

Sam goes through a bout of depression after losing the love of his life. He eventually parts ways with the Vatican and makes a stake amongst the other neutrals. He eventually befriends a demon named Rex, who makes the discovery that Sam’s memories are altered. The two work together sorting through Sam’s memories, and Rex restores them. 

The warm sun, I remember how warm that morning was. I remember his face, his smile. We had business in town, but had received an urgent message. I remember arriving to this place, it seemed adandoned. Something felt off, Peter, he brushed it off and went ahead. Thats when the explosion happened. The next thing I remember is another face. His eyes, seemed so dark, even for a demon. 

Sam began plans on how to locate Peter, when he gets a instant message from Rex. 

“Hey my favorite ephebophile! came across this today, thought it’d be up your alley. XOXO Sexy Rexy <3″ Sam glared at his screen and tapped the link. It took him to a blog of some model.  “Peter Rabbit..?” Sam watched the screen load with colors that would be suitable for a child. He waited for the page to load a little more and clicked on the video at the top of the page. And there he was, Peter. Sam starred at the screen and rubbed his eyes, then pinched his legs. His Peter was in the video. He immediately called Rex, who was trying to sleep. “Yo.”  “Peter Rabbit! How do I find him!” Sam screamed. “Woah, ok. Wow. Sam, I think we need to calm down...” “No! Peter Rabbit is my husband!” Sam screamed, loud enough that Rex’s boyfriend overheard, who mouthed ‘is that the Vatican Priest?’ to Rex. “Sam, I’m learning things I’m not too excited about knowing right now...Oh wait, you mean your actual husband.” Rex his temples, it was late after all. 

The two do research about Peter and Hans. It seems Peter became a role model for a subset of butler fashion simply called Dolly. He was well respected and treated like an idol, but fell off everyone’s radar after an apparent physical altercation between him and his husband, Hans at a Convention. After doing a little more digging, Sam discovered that the couple’s eldest son, Fritzy, was in the process of trying to legally separate from the family. Sam tried get a chance to talk to Fritzy. He agrees to meet at a local coffee shop, but is a little spooked that a priest wants to talk to a demon. 

When the two meet Fritzy tells Sam about his home life growing up and how his father Hans is criminally ill. 

“My father was always cold. It was like he only operated on his needs and his needs alone. I dressed the way he wanted, attended the schools and classes he picked. Every minute of every day was pre-calculated as if it was this perfect plan to create a perfect person. But he didn’t want a perfect person. He wanted someone like my father. Easily manipulated, controlled, under his fist. I wouldn’t let him in, he will never rule me. So, when I turned sixteen, I was more than ready to take the butler’s school entrance exam. I could have gotten a perfect score, if I went. I decided that it was the time for me to break free and become my own person. This of course did not please my father. He turned from cold, to sadistic. Peter would have new, bigger bruises. Hans would make him do chores where I would have to see them, it was his sick way of letting me know that was my punishment. So I had to say good bye.”

Sam takes Fritzy in as his own and manage to get Fritzy his stake in the VanLoventhual estate. And as an added fuck you, Peter signed over the rest of the estate quietly over to Fritzy, as a wedding gift. 

During a bust of an illegal sex ring, Sam gets a notification. The trap he had placed about ten years ago finally had triggered. Elated, he quickly scans the email to read the details. While having to go a stint in the ICU, it looks like Peter was finally free of Han’s clutches. Sam was reunited with Peter and two live happily in London.

A New Suitor Appears, Suitor 3: Calvin Covington

Calvin Covington is the golden child of the great Fallen Leader, Alexander. Unlike his father, his is rather soft-spoken and gentle hearted. He befriends Sam as they both discover they share a common interest. The two become besties and Calvin meets and gets to know Peter. Calvin does fancy Peter, but doesn’t want to soil his friendship with Sam. 

Should Sam let Cal in? Or should Cal take a hike?! Who am I even writing this for?! 

#Characters #VPNH #VPNHVLTH #PeterRabbit

[classicallyelegant]

Now on to chapter 7......

Sometimes I wonder myself why I keep doing this......I often questioned myself why even finish this story, but it’s something I just had to do. You get something stuck in your head and somehow, you just have to get it out, right? Maybe.....anyway, I promised a bit of a surprise in this chapter, so I hope it lives up to that. I was surprised when I wrote it because I didn’t see it coming, but it’s funny along with cute......to me anyway! lol

“Be careful, you two and I’ll have a big celebration dinner for you when you get back!” Russ waves after us. Big smile! What else can you do with Russ? Matt and I walk down to a bus stop and wait. He knows what bus, but I’m still a bit vague on such. Good thing he’s here! As we wait, we both noticed a couple staring at us. He just turns away from them, but they look like they want to say something to us. They are a bit older than us, but they don’t really look like trouble to me. I look down but I’m still facing them when I hear the man clear his throat. Ahem! “Excuse me? Are you two OK?” I’m not certain how to answer him, so I touch Matt’s shoulder. He turns and beams back, “Sure we are! Why do you ask?”

“Oh good! We were concerned about you two since we hadn’t seen you in a few days. You know we always love to check on you.” He smiles back as he brings the lady closer to all of us.

Matt whispers to me, “Yeah to be nosy about what we’re doing!” I look at him. REALLY? He sort of turns to me and says under his breath, “Watch!” To the couple he says, “We had a bit of a vacation….just the two of us! You know how we lovebirds are!” He’s smiling at me and drawing me closer to him in a hug. What are you up to? The couple look like they’re satisfied, but I’m mystified as he kisses my face. What do you think you are doing here? Why are you showing off for these people? All I can manage to do is look at him. I don’t know how to explain his behavior in front of them and then he whispers, “Kiss me!” HUH? You really want me to….? Wait! I heard him right, didn’t I? He must see the confused look on my face so he bends a little closer, “Kiss me!” I….uh….I….. I take too long because his lips are on mine before I can do anything! OMG! Just finish this out! Whatever you do, don’t swoon and don’t hit him! The lady is beaming at us and the man looks very happy with what he sees. Am I missing something here? It’s like I’m the only one left out of a joke. Matt comes up for air and says as loud as he can, “You little minx, right now?” Umm…What? He grabs my hand and we go off into a nearby alley. Is this real or am I lost in a dream again?

Once we’re in the alley I grab my hand away from him. “What are you doing? What was that all about?” I’m flustered and embarrassed and just so confused! He almost doubles over laughing. You’re going to laugh about this?! “Oh c’mon! I only gave the guy what he wanted.” He finally manages to say. “They won’t listen that you and I are not a couple! We’ve both been trying to tell them yet they insist we are. I simply played along with their joke.”

“Well couldn’t you warn me or something? Geez! I was so lost!” I spit and sputter the words because I’m still trying to grip my own sanity here. “And we spent a lovebird’s vacation together?! Now what would Russ say to that?”

“Russ knows all about this! Sheesh, Maxey! Settle down. It’s not that big of a deal. Let’s just hang back here so we don’t have to deal with them anymore.” He keeps watching to see if they’ve left. “You usually play along flawlessly. You didn’t have to be so lost just now. You said the lady was giving you wedding advice and all kinds of things. Wish they would quit though! This act gets old!”

“So you’re used to doing this? That’s what you’re telling me? “I’m a still bit flustered. I didn’t expect Matt to KISS me so this is just really throwing me! It was a thrill but it was such a surprise, I just…..I’m at a loss for words.

“Only when we come across them. What’s the matter? We’re actors, right? It’s what we do!” Matt is being so nonchalant about all of this but I feel like a mess! “Oh wait! You didn’t remember them? That’s why you did that! You honestly don’t remember them! Ugh! I should have thought of that! OK, you got me, Maxey. I’m sorry about all of this! I take the blame here.” Now he looks a bit embarrassed as well, his hand in his hair.

“It’s….. OK…I overreacted, I guess. I wasn’t expecting any of this.” Just grin and bear it now! What else can you do? It’s done and there’s no going back.

“No, I offer you my humblest apologies, Princess” Matt bows down elegantly on one knee before me, his head bowed and his arm across his chest. “I didn’t think this through and I shouldn’t have left you in such a state.”

I giggle, “Get up silly! If anyone sees you, they’re gonna clobber us both!”  He really looks like a fairy tale knight down there.

“If I have upset your delicate person, then the ground is where I belong.” He picks his head up though, slightly to the side and smiles up at me. How can I not melt at that?! >Sigh< He really is a sight to behold! “Get up!” I try to pull him up. Remember! Can’t let on anything now! He finally stands up and smiles as his hand caresses my hair then cups my face. This time it’s a long smoldering kiss right on the lips. I’m done for! I have no defense for such! We look into each other’s eyes for a split second as I gently wipe his face then he grabs me and says, “Our bus is here!” Aww Man! My luck! We break out running and make it just as the doors close behind us. Whew!

“We made it! Now, on to the studio! Don’t worry, I think he will be there but I’ve arranged for you to stay with someone once we get to the place. She’s one of your friends, so you should be safe. If you need me though, she can find me.” He’s breathless.

“OK, two questions…does she have a name and how much does she know about my memory?”

“Of course she has a name! DUH! Her name is Rena. She doesn’t know much about your condition but she knows to keep you away from Jerry. I’m sure you can handle this. Just take it easy. You and she are old friends, so she will be glad to see you.”

“OK, I wish I had your confidence, but I’ll do my best.” My heart is still jumping but I’m not sure if it’s from his kiss or from going to this place. I’m nervous because I’m not sure what to expect and I’m nervous because I already had the unexpected happen! I know I can’t ask Matt to hold my hand through this, but I would feel much better if he were closer throughout this. All right now! You can do this, Maxey! You’re a girl who can handle what life throws at her, right? Mmmaybe. Maybe not! I don’t know, but I’ve got to try! The answers I need are out there and I have to sift through to find them.

He grabs my hand anyway and says, “We’re here!” OK….>sigh< here goes nothing……

Off the bus and into the sliding glass doors of a building, we’re greeted by the receptionist by name and she motions her head to one side to let Matt know where he needs to go. I’m really nervous to be here and honestly, none of this is familiar to me. People say hi or smile at us as we make our way down the hall. I try to be polite but I really don’t recognize any of them. He stops outside a door and I bump into him. “Oh sorry! Guess I wasn’t paying close enough attention.” I sheepishly say to him. He turns around and puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’s OK. Don’t look so worried! Your friend, Rena should be in here. I’ll see you when I’m done and we’ll go back together.”

“Are you really sure about this? I’m just really nervous!” I can’t seem to focus on just one thing because I have so many thoughts running through my head.

“Would you have rather spent the day with Dustin coddling you?” Was that sarcasm or jealousy?

“Oh so that’s what you think of me? Well isn’t it nice to know where I stand?!” Yes, that remark ticked me off.

“No, you’re just thinking your own thoughts….as usual! Look, it’s going to be alright so you can calm down my little spitfire. I’ll come get you and I made sure you won’t be alone. You want to find your answers; this is a good starting point. Now, just go in here and talk to her. It was your idea to come, remember?” Geez! You would have to rub that in! Before I can answer him back, he opens the door and practically pushes me in!

“Maxey! Oh my gosh! I’ve missed you so much!” Rena comes from behind a desk and runs to hug me. She moved so fast, I barely got to see her.

“Umm hi! Yeah, it’s me…back to bug everyone!” I manage to say over her shoulder.

“Oh the way you talk sometimes,” she laughs. She steps back and looks like she’s assessing me for something. This is awkward! She looks nice enough, short auburn hair, green eyes, slightly taller than me but then she is wearing high heels.  I can’t really place her at the moment, but I’ll play along as best I can.

“Matt told me you haven’t been quite on par with everything. You feeling OK?”

“I’m doing my best to handle what I can. Just have to get back into the swing of things, I suppose. How are things for you?” Try to keep smiling, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

“Oh things stay hectic around here and for now everything else is rolling right along, so I can’t complain too much! He said your memory is causing problems? It’s not something really bad because that sounds a little scary.”

“No, I am working on that, so hopefully it can be resolved soon.” I don’t have a good reason, but I am so nervous around her. Something about this just does not feel right to me, but I can’t put my finger on anything in particular. Still, Matt arranged this, so I’ve got to trust him. I really thought though seeing another girl would be much easier than this.

“Well, Jerry will be glad you’re back. He’s been on a fit since you went away. No one can talk to him. I’m sure others will be glad to see you as well. You know, I don’t know how you manage to be so popular around here but I have a feeling it has something to do with your closeness to Matt.” She says this as if she’s almost jealous. Why should anyone be jealous of that? I’m not as close to him as Russ, so really? And Ugh! She had to mention Jerry! Not what I want to hear this early in the morning.

“I never thought of myself as popular but if you say so. I’m lucky to have such nice friends who care about me.” Not really sure how I can defend myself here so just play things off for now. “He told me that I should stay with you today. Do you really mind?”

“If Matt says it then I don’t mind. It will be fun spending the day with you! We don’t get to do that very often, always busy with work.” She’s looking over several papers. “I was surprised to get his call last night, but it was good to hear him. I don’t get his calls often. Must be nice to spend so much time around him.”

Really? Could she be any more obvious? This girl is dripping with envy and jealousy over Matt? Now I remember! She’s had a huge crush on him since he first came around! Always gushing about his looks and everything about him! That’s why I don’t talk to her very much anymore! Oh no! Matt, you made a big mistake here! Of course she agreed to this, you were the one who asked! She would do just about anything for you, you doofus! Hmm I have to think of something because I can’t stay here and have her go on and on about him. I have my own problems where he is concerned! What to do?

“Oh he has his moments, just like he told me earlier about someone else. If I’m bothering you, I can find something else to do though. Really, don’t put yourself out on my account. I can explain things to him.”

“What? No! Not a bother to me! He arranged this, so it’s the very least I can do!” She grins and blushes every time she mentions him. Oh brother! “Besides, he should be busy with the show he’s working on so we should have the whole day.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that.” Man I feel so defeated! I have to come up with something to get out of here, but what?

“Why didn’t he escort you in? I thought I would see him bring you to me.” “Oh he did. He just pushed me in though. I guess he was in a hurry to get to where he needed to be, but he should be around later.”

“You mean I still have a chance to see him?” She sounds like a giddy schoolgirl. It’s annoying but also pretty funny to see the effect he has on other girls as well. If he only realized how deep this went! Would he be surprised?!? Have to conceal my giggle here. Good thing she didn’t see him earlier….I’d probably never hear the end of it! “Hey I know! I can show around the studio since your memory is giving you fits. Maybe you can remember something along the way.”

“Uh, well OK, I guess that might help.” I have a feeling she’s doing this more in a hope to see him than to help me, but I can play along. What would she do if she were face to face with him? Knowing him, he would just shrug her off.

$v��;

#My Story