#me because im always the one trying. and i think idk maybe its not fair ik at a certain point if ppl dont want to be in your life you cant

[todayisafridaynight]

fathers day is this month how am i going to inflict psychic damage on myself

#snap chats #we were cute and sillay even for mothers day last month #but unfortunately i actually love my dad and i miss him so the possibility of doing something a lil moody is very real #i love how i always say i miss my dad as if hes dead. hes not dead hes just scared of my mom which. fair we all are LMAO #anyhow esp when im leaning towards doing something focused on jo since last month was more for arakawa... #i dont have anything in mind yet but i have the semblance of an idea... its budding but i dont have it refined in the dome... #because i also wanna see if i can do something for arakawa too so idk if i wanna knock out two birds with one stone for one comic #or make two separate posts (whether those are pics or comics idkidk) #i always really like to imagine quiet moments between jo and masato- however rare they might have been in canon #oh wait im gonna throw up what if i posted that prison comic on fathers day #if i dont get any ideas i just might.. unless i get too impatient and post it earlier ☠️ #anyway this is just a promise i will be goofy on fathers day. except instead of Actual Goofy i might post something Cereal for once #nothing i say makes fucking sense unless you know my lexicon fucking 'cereal' is my Cute And Quirky way of saying serious #because Im Cute And Quirky alright moving on #Being Serious and Emotional isnt my forte. im very bad at doing both so i of course try to be funny instead #bu maybe this once..... the jo and masato feelins are strong this month...... #its cause my moms giving me a harder time than usual so of course im just thinking of my dad more and Now We're Here #alright im finally gonna finish my comm then i might get to cooking bye

[zemnarihah]

i mentioned this on here before but i have a friend who is abt to get married and like i just realized thats probably the death knell for our friendship

#we've been drifting apart for a while and i feel like. i mean maybe i dont reach out to her as often as i should like its not like im #texting her everyday or anything but everytime that group does smth #she seems to have some excuse not to come or to leave early and like it only got worse w the boyfriend and now theyre getting married #and like. they JUST got engaged and the date is set for may 20th #and like i could sit here and kid myself and be like well we can still be friends! but i just know she is going to have no time for me when #shes actually married if she already has so little time for me now #we're not best friends rn obviously but there was a couple years in high school where like. she was the one in our group that i was closest #to like i think we spent some very important years as eachothers first confidant or whatever and we used to like. laugh so hard together #idk #like i think ive laughed the hardest in my life w her yk. and maybe i should have accepted it earlier bc it has been like this for a while #where she just doesnt seem to care to make any time for me but man. this moment its just rlly getting me. #i actually saw her today for the first time since my birthday which was in december. which is what cemented it. i found out abt the date. #i met him. i saw the ring. and then she left early. with him. after not seeing me for months and seeing him every day. idk #i maybe kinda guilted her as she left or like idk just told her i thought she should stay since we havent seen eachother in so long and she #told me oh its ok well hang out soon! its spring break next week we can totally hang out! and i just told her straight up well ok you text #me because im always the one trying. and i think idk maybe its not fair ik at a certain point if ppl dont want to be in your life you cant #force them. but its just like. idk i miss her. like thats it literally i miss her. i feel like a little kid i just want her back i want to #laugh and talk and tell her abt every dumb little thing going on in my life i want her back! what the fuck! #anyway well see if she texts me over spring break. i dont have my hopes up #im gonna like. go to her bridal shower and bachelorette party and the wedding and everything obviously but after that. idk i dont have my #hopes set too high. well i kind of do. like in the back of my head i keep being like maybe! im moving a little closer so maybe! we wont be #as busy over summer break so maybe! im trying to see more of our mutual friends so maybe! #but. i dont think i can keep reaching out it makes me sad every time. i hope she does reach out to me and all i can do is keep a place in m #life open for her if she wants it but. if she doesn't theres nothing i can do #thats what i have to accept. its so hard though. im just really sad like thats it. i miss her and im sad. it really feels like grieving not #to be dramatic like obviously shes not dead but grieving the friend i had. i guess thats a thing. but i um. hate it. #ok. well. #gn now actually i was supposed to go to bed and then i realized that and then i cried and then i had to scream it into the void. idk if #i feel better but. i do feel tired. goodnight #zem diary

[themthrfkinprincess]

Astro observation . . . TWO!!

Whenever I see someone has a prominent Scorpio or Capricorn placement I always notice and see how sweet and overlay considerate they are. These people I’ve noticed are very helpful and there for people, sometimes they don’t think about themselves that much and contain themselves too much. They also are like nonchalantly funny? It’s not hard for them to make me laugh I’ve noticed.

But yeah strong Capricorn and Scorpio placements remind me of the giving tree idkkk

Like also Capricorn’s and Cancers be goofy as shit im crine😭

WHEW. This is from my experience but when I have seen a fair amount of Virgo or Cancer influences in somebody chart THEY ALWAYS GET ON MY NERVES LIKE GIRL DON'T DO ME LEAVE ME ALONE😭 I swear I have always had little moments with them- they can be quite annoying but guess what. I often spend so much time with them and we are right back on track maybe two seconds later it’s so funny. We switch up so much it funny. And this is funny because well I am a cancer myself and well there are more than three cancers in my family who I adore. You guys are really aggravating though.

And like also Geminis freaky foreal like YALL LIKE BOOTY FOREAL😭

also its a double whammy if you have eros or venus in gemin lol. I have both 😈👅

so come here . . . .

GIVE ME THAT BOOTY😈

lol😭

AND YOOOO Like geminis and Leo’s can be so embarrassing at times? They’re very suspect to be very lollygagging individuals and I can say this because I have a Leo stellium. Sometimes I look back and be like girl no. It sad. ☹️ like girl you 36 how long you gon be doing this😕.

They remind me of this liam dancing gif. Its not that they are embarrassing over big things- its just small stuff they can do and say which makes you go wtf???😭 Sometimes i feel they try to impress you over small weird things that no one really gives a fuck about like okay right . . . right . . .

Leo, Cancer, Gemini, and Virgo can be really corny at times- it reminds of that gif of drake doing the dougie. They can be corny in a cute way though😭but leos can get genuinely embarrassing as a mentioned beforehand

Also Geminis talk too much 🦧.

They will run their mouth and run it- i have no problem with it though I like to talk a lot lol. They are ( of course!) good listeners too! I had a friend she was so chill- I could talk to her about anything’s like- if i wanted to speak gibberish she would speak gibberish back to me. She was so random too. They are kind of silly whimsical beings at times I will not lie. Like it would not be wild to catch them froliciing in the fields randomly- its kind of expected of them in my own opinion. In my eyes they really be in their own world at times. 💀

AYE.

And yo!? Tell me why Aries are so cute what the hell!?!?

LIKE THEY ARE SO CUTE!!

CYUTSIE PATOOTSIES!!!! I imagine them trying to rob me at a gas station I own or something. Like I don’t know imagine them pointing a gun at you and trying to rob you LMFAO. I WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING. They might shoot you tho idk😞 they really be standing on business and they intimidate me a lot once they start talking- and they could be totally be happy/polite while they are talking. It’s just their aura feels forceful? Lively? Out there? I don’t know how to explain it but yeah. Also they are so sweet too!!! These people are cheerleaders- people say that Leo’s are cheerleaders but the biggest cheerleaders I see are more often Aries. My cousin is one and she is very VERY sweet. She listens to you deeply and she really pushes you. Sometimes it’s annoying at times cause like GIRL LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT 😭 I love aries though 💖😭 You guys are so cute. AND WHY THEY ALWAYS LOOK LIKE CARTOON CHARACTERS 😭

LIKE WHY HE LOOK LIKE RODDY😭

And of course we know Pedro looks like chicken little

Also Aries women are GORG!! No seriously! Look at Halle!!! Miss Mamas is GORG!! She is STUNNING! It’s like 💥WAPOW!!!💥 getting struck and hit by her beauty😍💖

Also David tennant so cute he's sort of like kind of my man😍😍 if you have a crush on him your so real I totally get it fren 😋💗🤭😁

Like dude come on he's so freaking cute. His eyes are so intense it makes him look like a crackhead sometimes but it doesn't even matter HE'S SO CUTE. And his Scottish accent is so 🫦🫦🫦 I don't know what he be saying sometimes though in his TV shows like huh🗿

Cancer Mars are literally the Scarlet Witch idk dude. . . . like people can go completely BONKERS. These hoes kind of crazy. If you been wronging one for quite a while you better sleep with one eye open when you sleeping👀

Like these people are kind of punks☹️. They retreat often when something is wrong- too much actually. They really do not want to fight or have any problems foreal. They can be very indirect at times when bothered it can get annoying. But when enough is enough its over💀 its like one fart and your dead💀

Like that Aries and Cancer energy is not mixing well and shit can get REAL unstable there like don't do them patna!!

Uhm i totally had a million more things to say and I really did not get to re-read this. So there may be many typos- and also im kind of lazy and wish i decorated this post better. But that's besides the point- I hope you liked this post or whatever!!! I was totally honestly rambing to myself, if you found these accurate to you then great!

Peace out!!!💖💗

#astrology #astro observations #cancer mars #cancer #aries #leo #virgo #scorpio #gemini

[corvidinthewoods]

going to ramble a bit about hbomberguy, not the latest video directly more about some of the reaction to it. full disclosure i am a patron of his, have been for a few years, and became a fan of his channel years before that. i think maybe six years ago? give or take.

im maybe experiencing cognitive dissonance bc its nice that something ive enjoyed for a long time is gaining new audience, and of course new criticism. my initial reaction has been one of resistance that i need to check.

but after reading a bit more of the criticism im like. i kinda of agree? only kind of. i feel like the criticism is maybe not directed at me (or types of fans like me) but at folks for whom this is their first encounter with hbomberguy and are hailing him as a career-ruiner and gleefully enjoying the takedowns. dont get me wrong, takedowns are fun and they’ve always been core to his channel. his oldest stuff was debunking and clowning on right wing youtubers. but thats not all he is? and i dont like the idea of him as this Great Takedown Guy because personally the stuff i like best is his media criticism.

and thats not in the way some folks are like “oh yeah i enjoy hbomberguys media analysis but not his political stuff” i like both. but i think if folks are disregarding that side of his channel then theyre not like. idk how to word this im not the best writer. theyre missing out? or missing the point?

my personal favorite hbomberguy video is Halcyon Dreams. I also really enjoy Scanline (which is both him and shannon strucci), the CAD SLA, and the whole And Here’s Why series (especially speedrunning and pathologic). in much of hbomberguy’s other work, he will disagree with creators or producers in ways that aren’t career endings. and i don’t imagine he’s trying to become a person who does that all the time? i see behavior of his that indicates this to me, such as not naming who took his joke in the uber, explicitly saying “if you go harass Somerton you are worse than him”, and how most of And Here’s Why is neutral to positive, even tho the Garbage ones may get more views. the Sherlock has the highest

uhh where am i going with this. i always got points off for my transition sentences in essays

i guess im saying like. i don’t think it’s fair to just view the hbomberguy channel as waiting for the skeletons to come out of the closet. but i also dont think fans (especially y new fans) should put him up on this pedestal, particularly as Guy Who Destroys Careers. its not a good idea to idolize ppl in general, and its not great to live in a mindset of waiting for the next target for you to justify harassing.

#crow.txt #glad i went and read a bit more of the posts by the oerson who got me thinking about this #bc there were good points especially about some folks behavior #even if obviously i dont agree with the main thesis #hbomberguy

[002yb]

Current thoughts: Dick and Jay and the intricacies of their aggressions. Because they're not hostile (not anymore) but there's still a bite to each smile and nails in each hold, and it's not because they don't feel safe but they're just so overwhelmed and overstimulated in each other that they just have to have some sort of grounding. 

It comes with Dick saying "ill take care of you" and it stays when the older man presses in, spreading himself everywhere until hes all that Jason can see and feel. Dick presses into Jason's space, soft touches - almost healing - reverently smoothing his hands over his bruises and holding him tight - tight - tight and Jason thinks he might just turn into electricity with all the tingling under his skin so he bites. Not hard but enough to startle Dick for a while and he just watches Jason who has a flushed face - spreading ear to neck and further - sink teeth into his forearm in an almost adorable display of vulnerability with a wicked grin. 

Or when Jason tries to take care of Dick in his “your the world” way, because seeing Dick in that loving light is just so easy for Jason- as easy as breathing - it takes Dicks own breath away. The way he follows without a thought, pushes gently at his cheek, his foot, his hands - not quite a hold but enough to say i'm here- never far -always for you. It makes something warm envelop him until because Jason is so soft- and he might melt out of his skin and cling onto whatever Jason gives him so he has to gain SOME sort of control and he just sort of manhandles Jason. He’s not harmful but it's enough to have Jason grasping at air and anything he can get his hands on to try and settle himself and Dick just sorta treats him like he's pocket sized. 

And maybe Dick grows fond of pushing Jason until his boy has to bite down and leave his little marks on his skin - and maybe Jason chases the thrill of the safety he never knew in being overpowered by his Robin- but they don't have to tell.

askjherofntfewo this one got so long im so sorry :,,,)

This is the epitome of indulgence; I've been so thoroughly spoiled. Anon~ you write so beautifully ahhhhhhh this is an actual gift, a masterpiece; I want to read it forever (along with your other ask(s), honestly LOL). Ffffffff I've never felt so understood in my dickjay preferences, but Anon you get me. ( ॢ ´ U `͈ॢ)･*♡ Thank you so much for sharing these lovely thoughts ahhhhhhhh I can't wait for everyone else to read them and bask in the glory; amazing!!

Ybb's two cents under the cut (jk everything got moved beneath a cut?) because all I've got is scattered imaginings inspired by the above I'm a;oifja;woiejfaiowejf !! Fair warning that it's not nearly as eloquent as the above lol. Idk if I kept with the beautiful theme of the intricacies of aggressions, but there is...

°₊·ˈ∗♡ s a u c y s o f t n e s s ♡∗ˈ‧₊°

Overwhelmed!Jason is my everything (next to maiden!Jason). Just the way his breath would catch in his lungs, an audible stutter that he would bite back behind clenched teeth and try to swallow down only for it to claw its way back out of him - almost a sob for how broken it sounds. And Dick - it does more than take his breath away to hear something so vulnerable and wanton; it makes his heart race and stutter and skip. It makes him feel too warm, too endeared, too much. He would smile though, all teeth and bite. Sometimes playfully ornery about it or impishly teasing and always, always bewitched. There's nothing more alluring than the rise and fall of Jason's chest, that sign of life.

Only that's a lie, because just as captivating is the way Jason falls apart just by being touched (by him - by Dick alone), the way Jason taunts and challenges and torments Dick until Dick pushes back and then Jason smiles. Wicked and devastating and wonderful.

For as blunt as Jason's nails are, Dick's skin is all raised welts from the drag of them; moon-shaped crescents from where Jason's nails dig in. And to match, Jason's body is a constellation of bruises - the black and blue of fingertips, the wine-color of open-mouthed kisses.

They would both shudder at the residual ache of it all, those phantom sensations. Jason with mapping out where Dick's hands fell on him, held him, loved and adored and revered him. And Dick, marveling raised lines that fade too soon. Scratching over them with a sort of fond affection before covering them, hiding them away (or purposefully showing them off, oh my).

The manhandling, the biting; the thrill of overpowering and being overpowered. It's flirtatious, sure. More than that - it's trusting. It's fun. It's connecting in a way that lets them understand each other better than they've ever understood one another before. Raw and honest; terrifying, only not. It's addicting.

Offhand thoughts: the graze of Dick's teeth over Jason's nape as Jason bites down on Dick's hand. Jason (big, small; it doesn't matter) so overwhelmed by too many points of contact that he digs his teeth in, breath catching in that way that makes Dick's heart race, his blood sing.

That's all I got for now, anon~ I'll get to your other ask when I have some more time (I love it!!). Thank you again for spoiling me with such indulgent thoughts; they're ~ s t u n n i n g ~ ( ∩ˇωˇ∩)♡

#dickjay #jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd #anon #jason todd is wifey material

[blackbackedjackal]

That post about brushes is so real. Ive downloaded so many brushes to try and use but inevitably go back to two of the default ones that came with the program. Its a shame cuz some of those brushes look cool in theory but i never like how they look with my style

And yea, maybe some of them would save time, but I'd rather do things the long way and get a result im happy with ykwim

I feel that so hard. Like I'd love if there was a brush for every scenario to save me time but sometimes you just don't vibe with them or you can't mess with the settings in a way that works well for you. It's like having a pencil or pen you like to draw with then jumping to a colored pencil or crayon and not liking the way it feels. Everyone renders differently and not every tool will be useful or work for everyone but when you have that one tool that words it's super nice. Hell, I'm guilty of buying 2-4 of the same kinds of sketchbooks just because I like the paper and it feels weird to switch after being accustom to the same texture for a while.

I use the same brush for most of my digital work and only use different ones for certain situations. Both of these were rendered with the same two tools (lasso tool and real watercolor brush). If you know how to mess with file sizes and brush settings you can get a lot out of just using tools you're comfortable with.

I deffo would have saved time using a fur brush or something, but sometimes hand drawing with a tool I'm comfortable with just gives me more control of what I want my work to look like in the end.

Shortcuts like specific brushes are always good and welcome, especially if you like it and it works for your style. But for me, if I gotta draw every damn strand of June's hair to be satisfied with the results then I'll do it because that's part of what makes my style, my style. I'd rather experiment in my comfort zone so I can learn how I personally render something. For me, leaning HOW I render helps for when I study how other people render things, or try out different tools. I have a better understanding of what I'm working towards stylistically, so when I try something and it doesn't work, I know it's just because it doesn't work for me and know I need to keep searching for something that does.

You're allowed to learn and try new things and make mistakes (assuming those mistakes are in good faith) because that's how you grow as an artist. So long as it's an honest and earnest attempt and you're willing to learn and evolve as you go, I don't think it's fair to just dog on someone for doing their best in that moment just because it's not perfect. There is always room for improvement, but sometimes that improvement won't happen until several attempts later. Like idk some people just don't know how to be chill and jump to really insane conclusions. It's so much easier to be like "hey, I noticed that you were trying to render this, here's some resources I used to learn how to do this, hope they help next time you try this out," instead of WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THESE TOOLS OR MAKE THIS LOOK PERFECT??? WHY DID YOU POST THIS IF YOU KNEW IT DIDN'T LOOK PERFECT??? etc.

#ask #that's the one thing I miss about art school #group critiques where you could just help eachother out #open up a space for communication and improvement

[lesbianrobin]

im so sorry i just need to say something and i feel like youre one of the very few reasonable people in the stranger things fandom and i just. honestly. is it just me or have people latched onto the hanky code thing WAY too hard with eddie even though it was like fully not intended coding by the wardrobe department and also. barely makes sense for the character at least in my eyes idk like maybe it Is just me but i feel like a twenty year old high schooler from rural indiana wouldn't be some kind of bdsm expert who's well versed in gay culture and flagging like that. like yeah its fun that the double meaning is there w/the hanky bc eddie Is very much a homosexual but i feel like people just latched onto it as if it's canon gospel with zero thought as to whether it would make sense for him (or his relationship with steve which is a whole other can of worms) but. yeah sorry for rambling just Yeah

oh no yeah i totally agree!! i like joking ab it and i'm not opposed to the idea of eddie like knowing ab the code but i don't rly think it was intentional and i don't think that eddie is like a hardcore bdsm dom at all dkcndncnf. like. i am a firm virgin eddie believer because he is a goofy little gay nerd in rural indiana who spends all his time playing dnd or guitar or selling weed out of his lunchbox. even if he IS flagging intentionally i do not think he has any practical experience.

my personal favorite interpretation of the hanky came from my friend sarah @steveharrington this isn't like anything she posted but she had the idea that maybe eddie learned vaguely about hanky code but not rly any specifics and he got So excited about the idea of flagging in any way that he just went out and got a black one bc it matched his usual outfits and he started wearing it without much idea of what it Means bc he wanted to have a connection to the community. i just think that concept is adorable.

another interpretation i enjoyed a lot is from the fic the affliction of the feeling where eddie is a virgin who thinks he knows what he's into but very quickly discovers that he in fact does not. it is explicit fair warning but i figure ur okay with that judging by the content of this ask lmao.

ultimately i think of the hanky as like something fun to play around with but i wish people didn't take it so far because it's definitely like. not rly in character. even setting aside whether or not he'd realistically be well-versed in hanky code yknow the thing is that eddie has this sadistic DM persona but when he's with chrissy or steve or any of his other friends he's always so genuinely sweet and playful and goofy in a way that just. does not scream sado top to me. eddie hates when his friends are upset or uncomfortable and he'll do anything to make them smile. i rly cannot see him being like taunting and sadistic during sex vnfncnfnc like sorry but he's a nerdy little virgin and he would be giggly and awkward and sweet.

nobody asked but personally i think his first time eddie would try So hard to be sexy and cool and his partner (steve bc i am a steveddie warrior and this is my post) would be like What are you doing and he'd be like uh seducing you and steve would be like no the fuck you are not you're acting like a pornstar who failed theater in high school and eddie's like ouch :< and steve is like look just relax can you just be eddie right now and eddie's like aw yeah... :')

anyway. sorry about all of that fkvjfjcjf basically i totally agree with you i think people latched onto the bandana wayyy too hard for what it is. thank you for the ask!!

#asks #em talks #stranger things #eddie munson

[smiggles]

I try to be fair and respectful (sometimes to a fault and its something Im learning slowly ahah) Life is rough and I dont need to make it more so for others imo

Being “nice” is a topic I (maybe too often) self reflect on constantly and pick apart /am critical of but Im gettin a little better about it and just allowing myself to not think too hard ahah but there is one thing someone once said to me that stuck A friend told me that my ideals arent just words. That im someone who acts out and lives what I believe in and I do think thats true. So seeing your ask about me being a “good person” I think thats similar. IDK lol Im rambling. The concept of “good” is weuueughh im just trying to live happy and die leaving more flowers than scars

In regards to the people wanting to be my friend +_+ I dont mind people trying! But Im so so so fucking....aloof AHHA Im always in my own little world and because of severe ADHD + reclusiveness I tend to be really slippery but playing video games w me (like vrchat) is a super easy way to hang out And even when you do happen to grab me im almost entirely mute in 90% of social situations 

For collabing! Thats also a tough one =w=a; I like the idea of it but im...so insufferable to work with as a team (my poor Daiten mods have to put up with my stupid ass and I applaud them) 

Im glad I can share my works and show others that you can enjoy this genre<3 I hope to see people creating and sharing their own too!

#smigglesask #long post #so sorry i just kinda....rambled... #sleepy... #q

[desultory-suggestions]

Heyy, idk how to say this but im gonna try putting it in words, i took two gap years for giving an exam and now i won't make it, i can't find the right option to choose what to study and everytime i think about studying for a certain course, i get bombed with what if i hate the job that comes with and im scared. Do you have any advice for me? Ive been clueless thinking about everything and its just idk what to do

Hello, darling. This is a very common fear. It’s always been so frustrating to me that we’re expected to not only choose one thing to turn into a career, but do so at such a young age. So many people choose something and burn out because of this. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. I think taking those gaps was a great idea, you deserve all the time you need to explore and rest from academics. Here are a few centering questions and points I think may help.

Do you want to go to college? Do you feel like you should/have to or do you want to but feel worried?

Many people feel college is the only way. While there are fair concerns about starting a career with no degree, many forms of work don’t need one. A good example is trade work, which is often hands on learning. These are worthy pursuits! Additionally, if you want to pursue something such as art but feel no need for a classical education, maybe finding a job that lets you do that is better.

What are your top five passions?

They don’t need to make sense for university or a career. Say they’re bread, crayons, Russian literature, snails, and gaming. Those are all tangible things! Make a list and then think about what makes you so happy about them. What’s the common ground? How can you make these your study?

Have you considered not choosing one thing yet? Or at all?

Many universities and colleges offer unique opportunities in two ways. One is to be undeclared as a major. At my university and others they place you in University Division, where instead of starting right away on one topic, you explore any and all that interest you. Nursing? Sure! Painting? Yes! Finance? You bet! This was you can test what you like and don’t like. Secondly, many places now offer a whole degree that’s tailored by you for you. For example, my university has an office that will help you create a major. I know a student who’s studying music and neuroscience as one cohesive major.

Are you doing this for you?

So many people attend a university for their family or social standing. Please remember that this won’t be good for anyone, it will only burn you out.

What’s so bad about changing?

A consistent fear of students across the globe is “what if I change my mind?” It’s a valid fear, but not so scary as it sounds. A perfect example of this is in fact my brother. He got halfway through a BA in political science and well. He hated it. It wasn’t engaging the way he thought it would be, he didn’t enjoy his classes, and he was afraid of his future work. So what did he do? He went to his advisor, they talked and by gosh he changed his major. It delayed him a little while, but now he will graduate spring of 2023 with a degree in outdoor education and parks. Hold space for the fact that change is possible and ok. It will not be the end of the world. A woman I know for her PHD in economics and then became a minister. You won’t be the wildest story.

Quick Tips: Interview people with jobs you’ve considered. Literally just email and ask them! Most people will love to talk to you. Ask your professors as well, and chat consistently with them. Never underutilize your advisory office. They seriously know what to do. Take one class every semester that’s completely out of what you normally study, challenge your mind.

In the end no matter what happens it truly is okay. If you change your mind you do. But I know somewhere in your heart is a bright passion for something. You’ll find it, by typical methods or not. I’m here if you have any more questions! I love talking about academics and education. Also I have a good track record of helping people choose majors. Best of love and luck!

-Evan

#asks #anon #academics #academic advice #school #education #university

[epros]

hey guys do you remember when i first got into milgram and made a crazy post about haruka? im about to ramble a bit because i dont feel like making something more in depth but remember when in that post i talked about how my first impression of the girl hes with as a child was not his sister 9or friend???) but his idealized self? well i decided afterwards that both of those things can be true and the release of “all knowing all-agony” solidified that for me hey. dont walk away. let me explain. (deckard cain voice) stay a while and listen... its obvious that harukas relationship with his parents (particularly his mother) is very fraught. they clearly dont care for him. when they have a daughter who is “normal” (not an effeminate ‘son’ who is developing differently than other children) (because haruka is autistic) (if you get it you get it) they stop pretending to care about haruka and focus on the daughter instead and haruka is like what the fuck 😐... haruka killed her for 2 reasons: 1. because he was sick of being neglected by their parents who favored her, particularly their mother because idk the dad has to be absent or a serial killer considering haruka didnt even attempt to latch onto him for approval in the absence of his mothers love (dad does not want a girly “son” even if said son will join the serial killer business) (i cannot explain this further at the moment but it makes sense if youre me or tshirt) (to be brief the fact haruka had been previous validated for killing someone/something and thinks killing Again will totally earn more love and validation is so strange and makes no sense even in the context of if the death was because of his parents taxidermy hobby because theres a stark difference in killing an animal and killing a person and most taxidermied animals are already dead not killed For The Sake Of Taxidermy in this the year of 2022 so someone is a serial killer) and 2. because he was like well there can only be one girl here and youre a REAL girl which is not fair . But if youre gone i will be the girl again. #win the fact all knowing all agony starts with lines like “why was i born like this / why does it hurt so much?” and “you kept calling me ‘hopeless’, you never called me by my name / you were always comparing me to someone else / you were always generous, except towards me / i will definitely make you love me again” and him going into his mothers(?) jewelry drawer and taking a necklace (that might have been his sisters 🤨✍????) is like. there is something happening here. the insistence that “i wasnt wrong, i wasnt wrong” (which was also present weakness) during the chorus, along with pleas for someone to “hug me again as you once did” and “dont leave me alone, dont leave me” and, like the beginning of the song, “why was i born like this? why does it hurt so much?” just makes the soup in my brain start bubbling the real meat of what im trying to talk about comes from lines like “i just wanted to be your good boy. why am i crying again?” and “i will keep on killing to be a good boy”. near the end we also get “why was i born to be me? why does it hurt so much?” like, his mother only validated him when he was a “boy”, and he was killing. apparently. but doing this is painful for him. existing as a boy and also killing people(?) (things?) for attention isnt something haruka particularly wants to do but its what gets the attention he needs. i havent forgotten that in weakness he asked “how many more times do i have to do this so i can be human?” implying if he does not kill he is not human enough. but also his mother was clearly distraught at the end of the video when haruka was on a pile of animal corpses (which was an awesome visual just btw) theres something going on anyway the point im winding to is haruka is a girl actually and maybe her dad is a serial killer (who knows) her mom sucked and maybe she killed her sister out of frustration and neglect and also because she wanted to steal her gender (but haruka was a girl before her sister came into the picture make no mistake she did not decide to become a girl because her sister got more attention and love than she did. but it did prove to her in her mind that oh well if im a girl then 🤨... like do you get it?)

tshirt put it thusly after we watched all knowing all agony: “i'm just like. narrativizing this in my head like "oh and haruka self consciously models himself after specific women in order to gain their approval and also disavow the femininity as emerging intrinsically from him-- btw also his dad is killing people" which i think sums up what im trying to say because ive just kind of been on a stream of consciousness ramble because i fell asleep thinking about harukaisms last night truly i cant get over the repetition of lines like “why was i born like this why does it hurt so much” “i wanted to be your good boy / why am i crying again” like im sorry but there is something so gender about taking on the habits of the women around you and being agonized by the fact you are not physically like them and crying over being a boy but wanting to be a boy because its what you “are” and the only thing your parents will see you as and they are the only source of love and validation you have in your life even though they are not validating or loving you and resent you the more you try to gain their affections. LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE ? also i think its really funny if harukas dad IS a serial killer because we have someone like kotoko who is gungho for vigilante justice so much so she beat the shit out of an 11 year old cult survivor (i wont forgive milgram fandom for voting amane guilty btw) and mikoto who is so stressed by familial responsibility and work that he started disassociating and beat a guy to death with a baseball bat and also shidou botched surgeries for reasons currently unclear (finger paresthesia? moving a loved one up on the organ donor list? both?) and its just like. haruka with the actual lucid serial killer dad. who also kills people because she feels like she has to. i dont know its just really funny to think about... (theres also futas whole thing and kazuis and yunos but they arent killers. probably. futa wasnt a willfully malicious murderer he just accidentally doxxed a woman alongside the guy who was sexually harassing her and social pressure drove her to suicide. kazui is a closeted gay man with a wife who may or may not have killed herself. i wrote a whole thing about it remember? and yuno had an abortion. which like, is against the law, especially if she didnt have the ‘fathers’ consent to do it, and depending on the method of abortion. mahiru has something going on idfk if shes a stalker or what. and then theres haruka and muu. muu is so funny spoiled rich lesbian schoolgirl who is feeling super validated that her murder was justified because she was being bullied and now she has haruka to yank around. falling back on her old ojou-sama hobbies. good for her) milgram is so funny.... anyway tl;dr i do think haruka displayed girl power when she murdered her sister(?) and whoever or whatever else she might have killed for attention and voting her innocent/forgiven is the best option (because its the funniest option for her future development)

#milgram #sakurai haruka #you all should have voted mikoto innocent too because it would have been funny #you see it isnt about what is 'best' for the characters interests and positive character development its about what is funniest #fandom said they cared about 'positive character development' and voted amane guilty like get real #anyway #i forgot to preface the post but i talk about haruka being a girl and murder and abortion and animal death #just fyi

[monkeyparasite]

Hey my good pal ! It would make me really happy if you made headcannons of the Gorillaz members + Ace about how they would interract with a S/O who's autistic and do stimming a lot, because i'm autistic myself and i do stimming A LOT. If you don't want to do this with all members, i understand, but if you could do it with at least Noodle, 2D and Ace, it would be cool !

Awhh of course! Anything for my buddies! :D

i might actually also need this holy fuck hfgsgsh-

Murdoc

Lightly pokes fun of your hyperfixation(s) unless its something he is also interested in! But will throw hands with anyone else that does that

But after 2D got onto him, explaining why thats EXTREMELY wrong and disrespectful (poking fun of your hyperfixations), he apologized profusely and sobbed into his pillow calling you while also eating it being like "I-Im SZO ZSORreERrYy!!! PLLLalpl3aEAsE DioNt LeBaevebM MeeeeEEee!!! WAHHAAHGAGc YoYOU CaNN TalTALk ABoUT AnYAnYTHING yOUyoU WANT!!!"

Anyways. Isn't all that informed but says he is. He just gets his information from 2D cause he knows he has ADHD(?).

When he first saw you stimming, just went "oh, yeah, thats cute. 2D wtf are they doing? Did i do something wrong?" After having to be explained what stimming is, Murdoc fell down a rabbit hole of stim toys while looking online because 2D suggested to learn more about Autism online

Next thing you know, you meet up with him, and he gives you a stim toy and continues on the meetup or date like its normal. Then its its something that's your hyperfixation(s). Then its both. Then its just himself with a bow on his head

Understands and sympathizes with you when your overwhelmed, offers to take you somewhere else. Does his best to help out, really!

OMNE MORE 4 HIM I SWEAR!! He tried to cosplay Scott Pilgrim but failed horribly, still went to go see you though!

Ace

I have no idea what this man gots going on with him but I know it's something funky, I swear! /post /aff

I also like to imagine when you told him that he was like "Bada-boom-bada-bang baby!" And just had Noodle get him a library book about autism because he is literally banned from his town's library (again)

the next day mfer was telling you facts about Scott Pilgrim to try and swoon you plus buys you merch of it and always does the fuck boy face after he gives you em

Calls your stimming "jazzy". Probably offers you his knife to stim with, just says to be careful because he doesn't want you or it hurt

Will stab anyone that overwhelms you. Idk man he's a lil uh, funky, I think

2D

This man has ADHD, i think(?) idk, but im pretty sure he's neurodivergent! Anyway, because of this, he understands incrediblely well!

Sometimes, when you stim, he joins in. He can't really help it and its not a bad thing either, really! It's just.. whenever he sees someone else stimming or hears a funky noise, he stims (yes, i do this, yes im self-inserting or whatever the word is, and yes i will stop if anyone wants me to!)

He actually enjoys hearing about your hyperfixation(s) too! But, he might space out or dissociate randomly, so just a fair warning, if he doesn't remember some of the details. He is also forgetful on top of that, so you might have to refresh his memory on that stuff

Might also develop the same hyperfixation as you because the way you make it sound so cool and interesting, and correct me if im wrong, but isnt it Scott Pilgrim vs the world? I think he would be way into that ngl, same with Murdoc, maybe?

Gets you matching stim toys because he thinks its cute, but he never uses his unfortunately, mainly because he lost it in one of his pants pockets as well as his leftover lint balls

Tries not to overwhelm you and plan dates that fit your schedule, while he does have a bad habit of wandering off or staying too close to you, at least he occasionally remembers to either: look behind him OR ask you if he needs to move a bit

Russel

Surprisingly is very well informed! Offers to get you stim toys and take you to the movies if they're playing it

Very chill and understanding about it overall tbh, just a thoughtful kind guy!

If you ever need him to, he will lay on you like a weighted blanket

Just smiles at you when you stim and pats you on the head,

Offers to show you cat videos when your overwhelmed that helps him

I cant think of any more headcanons for him, I am so sorry

Noodle

Extremely supportive and interested in your hyperfixation

Understands when you stim and even tries to help you or change things for you incase you need to

Has offered to beat up anyone that makes fun of your stimming, definitely will

Also very supportive! Uplifts you a lot

I also have no ideas for her either, all I know is she is just.. so supportive and protective of you

#gorillaz #gorillaz band #murdoc niccals #2d #russel hobbs #noodle #stuart pot #gorillaz headcanons #russel gorillaz #skippys friends #knife #mentions of knife #stabbing #mentions of stabbing #stabbing mention

[a-kaash-me-outside]

I’m reading these asks and it’s super interesting to me to see the different perspectives and the insight you’re giving to the characters! (Also I sent you that long ass ask so thank you so much for taking the time to reply and explain things!!) I personally didn’t even catch on to the whole reader’s unfairly keeping Atsumu at arms length thing and idk if I didn’t read thoroughly or I’m just dim LOL I always interpreted it as like they both like each other and want to be bf/gf eventually but both were taking things slow for various reasons which felt super normal. also 3 weeks is such a short amount of time like I feel like you can be really into a person but still want to take more time to gauge the situation u know!! I didn’t really see reader as like “leading him on” or being a tease or anything like that (ngl i hate the word tease shhfjdgdskks 😂 especially if a man uses it I wanna barf like no stop I’m literally just trying to be a nice person), more so they were just being flirty and having friendly-maybe-more-than-friendly banter kinda?

It’ll be really interesting to see some of Atsumu’s pov because I wonder if he had different, more “serious” expectations for y/n from the get go. And if he did why he didn’t communicate it earlier on? I don’t think y/n is doing anything wrong being cautious around him, especially cause she’s used to seeing him sleep around a lot (not that there’s anything remotely wrong with that if there’s 2 consenting adults) but it still is what it is and she’s going off information that she’s gathered in over the course of not even a full semester and its honestly pretty smart for her to wait a bit longer and be like.. is he actually serious about this? I don’t fault her for at all that!!

As for the Maki kiss/going back to the dorm thing…… BIG SIDE EYE FOR Y/N 👀 that was very questionable on her part!! I understand caring for Maki and entertaining the one last kiss thing because it was clear she didn’t instigate that but then the part where she wanted to continue?! Was that a moment of weakness and just her remembering the old times with Maki or what?! I really wonder what was going on in her mind during that moment. Im glad he shut it down gently! Honestly the more I think about it the better Maki looks ASHFBDH (I need to stop this here and reel myself in cause this is an Atsumu fic) (but also just putting it out there….. if .. there was a maki alt ending…… I would absolutely devour that for breakfast lunch and dinner)

oh my gosh yes okay. this means the world to me because like i write these responses and replies and i don't ever really assume anyone will read or care about them does that make sense? and i try to communicate all of these thoughts in my fics but i forget sometimes that i'm in my head and you all are not! so the things and details i weave in there can definitely get lost.

omg another read more shhhhhh.

but i think that's why for me when i got all of this stuff where people were like HEY ATSUMU is a bitch and like yea no that's so fair he really is in this chapter but don't see or point out how messy the relationship is and how yn actually doesn't really hold it against him for like sleeping with people while they were talking and stuff because she realizes that they aren't exclusive, not just as a technicality but because yeah sure she has feelings for him but she keeps reminding herself that she doesn't want more than that, otherwise when they spent the night together during the whole movie thing, they wouldve spent the night together.

i think especially at the end of ch4 with the whole movie date and her like wanting atsumu to come into her dorm, but failing to communicate it or do anything to reciprocate what his efforts to cross this barrier of just flirting friends, is a really important insight into the relationship? like if she would've communicated that she wanted him to cross this barrier, he would've, but he doesn't, because she doesn't, and he doesn't want to like,,, push something too far? i explain it better in the next chapter? his thoughts about it and stuff and a tiny insight into his POV.

AND ALSO even just in the first time they meet. he evidently wants to have sex with her and she shuts it down really fast. AND after spring break, the first time that she hears him having sex with someone else after they've flirted and become somewhat friends, it's devastating to her? but it's all a result of him trying to feel out if she actually wants it or not. ANYWAYS yea just a lot of little things? that are sometimes hard to pick up on completely because of the lack of atsumu's POV BUT i think that makes it ?? hurt more and feel more serious? because !!! ?!?!? you're only seeing these little glimpses of him hurt and then the way that he tries to cope with it rather than really understand why he's doing it and how he's thinking. and as a READER i want you to like, feel torn up abt that shit? and be confused because like,,, you have to decipher and feel the stuff as it comes based on what he gives you not what's objectively true. does that MAKE SENSE?

oh yea no and i will be dropping the maki alternative ending don't you worry LMAO. don't.. don't you worry ok. <3 <3

#shut up tori #asks! #anon! #lmk if you want an ask tag! ~ #twrt convo!

[nahalism]

When I was younger, I used to be so ashamed of being very very sensitive. I mean, everyone even my mom made me feel ashamed for it, it caused me to internalized everything and keep everything to myself and for a long while growing up I felt this hatred for people who where “openly sensitive” I would call them naive and stupid because that’s how the world made me feel as a child. Looking back now, I realize that my sensitivity actually made me smarter (don’t mean to brag but I think I deserve a lil bit of bragging) because so many things would click in my head about things that even older kids didn’t understand, I mean I still struggle with fully accepting just how sensitive and full of love I am (I don’t show it to the outside world) I know now that it does give me a richer inner life therefore it gives me a rich outer life and it helps me understand that when I get so angry at the world that I could burn it down just to liberate the innocent, that that feeling is really just a yearning for a better world and a better place for everyone on earth and that’s why it hurts so much and this might be naive thinking but then the little girl inside me screams “it’s not fair! Things shouldn’t be like this! People shouldn’t suffer!” I realize that maybe she’s right and maybe being a little bit more “naive” and sensitive is what the world needs. Maybe childlike wonder and seeing the world in a childlike point of view would make us more empathetic towards one another. I don’t know what you were referring to in your post about people having less sensitivities and how they seem to win more but at the end of the day why is coldness and callousness so glorified? And then people wonder why the world is such an awful place

.. thank you 🖤. i was actually referring to a similar thing. over the past few months ive been wondering if the time i spend feeling, piecing my shortcomings together and trying to improve etc etc is as worth it as i believe it to be. i know collectively we need love, but sometimes the path i choose feels like a giant circle. each time i pass go i make progress but there isnt always that same validation or immediate evidence of growth felt from walking in a straight line. yk? starting at a ending at b. instead theres just more and more and growth and endless finish lines. and lol. i think, sometimes i just wonder if im going about it the wrong way. idk. i dont feel its wrong but sometimes .. yeah. im rly grateful you wrote this because i agree from fundamental part of myself & i needed to hear that. we do need more love and more wonder. thank you <3

#🖤

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello, can i participate your match-ups event? i would like a twisted wonderland matchup please? also congrats to your 100+ (i guess you have 200+?) followers too! 🎉🎉🎉

I'm actually a female btw.

Appearance: I have a black short hair, Brown eyes, fair light skin, my height is 5'7", im quite chubby a bit..my clothing style is like gurenge the way i wear is boyish type with a dark color, sometimes i wear a bit girls clothes and cute clothes (kinda like soft girl aesthetic) if i want to and i wore a glasses, i used it sometimes if i can't see a far.

Personality (+about me):

-Im a (akward) quiet and shy person who have a stoic face, im very bad communicating/interacting with people cuz i have a bad anxiety issues but atleast i try/want to talk people if i want to (but not a lot, its getting tiring when talking to people). -People didn't really know that im a bit  softie person and playful when it comes to my loved ones or friends, i dont easily open up to anyone with my behavior.  -I have a short or maybe quick temper i can pissed so easily and is trying my best to control myself but mostly hard dealing my emotions, if i hurt people's feelings i'll apologise immediately if im calm.  -My friends commented me like im sort of mother/sister figure in our group, the way i act i didn't quite realized my behaviour the way i treat my friends or my little cousins. -Im very insecure person, i been compared with someone who is smart, pretty or etc than i am because i wasnt one of them, it makes me think i wasn't enough. -The way i act is boyish, but im bit act like a girl like im very shy, embarrased or flustered compare to the girls who acts girly. -people was wondering why always stay inside in my room, all i do is study, watching anime, reading manga/fanfics, playing video games with my younger cousin and sleep, but i sometimes go outside when i wanted to buy or walk around. -when it comes to my friends or family, i give them a headpat or hugs, but if i had a s/o, i will give them lot some hugs & kisses, i secretly kinda clingy or likes giving some affections but doesnt want to admit.

MBTI: INFP

Zodiac: Aries

Hobbies: Drawing (digital & traditional), Reading, Playing piano, gaming, babysitting, do martial arts and listening music

Likes: going to quiet place, sweets,(not a lot) , cold drinks, cute things or stuff, bunnies, watching anime & reading manga.

Dislikes: noisy/loud people, spiders or maybe bugs, math

My Love Language is:

Physical Touch: I like hugs/cuddles and kisses this is they way im showing my comfort or affection but im very shy when it comes show or expressed my affections to my s/o, but im very careful that i wont be extra clingy to them so i have to asked them first before showing it.

Quality Time: If i have a free time, i would like to spend time with my s/o, but i'll let them choose they want or plans for spending time with them.

Words of Affirmation: I maybe not good at talking, but i love and try my best give my s/o some compliment, praises and comforting words.

When it comes the partner: I kinda like when my s/o who have same hobbies like me, i would rambled them my likings, also who also very honest and loyal to me, if my s/o is had problems or insecurities i will give them so many hugs, head pats and kisses. lastly, who have patience and accept for who i am.

Fun fact about me: + I maybe wore stoic expression cuz im not that a smiley type but i smile and laugh sometimes but my friends know my weakness which is tickling me this fails me to laugh, they even try to picture me.

+ Im a soft person who loves cute things like wearing cute clothes, plushies, or etc, and i adore cute animals. i hate to get caught if someone knows about my weird habit of mine i might ended up teasing.

Thank you and  i apologise if this is kinda long, also again congrats! have a nice day/night! ✨

Hi, thank you! Yes it’s technically much more than 100+ (I need to do something to celebrate 300 but I’m already close to 400 so idk what to do 😭), but more importantly, your matchup! I think that there’s a lot of characters that could work with you, but the one that would be the best is…

Idia

Hey look, your pfp! No but seriously, you guys match so much in vibes it’s so cute!

He’s someone that would prefer someone who understands his nerdiness and who can relate with him so he completely understands you. He’s into anime and manga, so you guys could recommend each other different series to watch or read! I can imagine you guys talking for hours on your favorite shows, or maybe taking forever on anime streaming catalogs to see what to watch next. He also really likes listening to music, so sometimes you guys just vibe next to each other while one of your playlists are playing. He’s always wanted to draw, maybe make his own comic one day, and he admires your skill in drawing so much. Please draw him one day, he’ll absolutely melt! You guys would absolutely love playing video games together. I can see you guys gaming until sunrise sometimes haha.

He’s not the best at doing pda, but he’s probably more clingy than he seems. He’s like you in being shy at first to initiate any kind of physical touch, but once he gets more comfortable around you, he won’t worry about cuddling with you. He’s not going to do any kind of pda, but when you guys are in private he’s totally cool with it (he might want it too honestly).

Speaking of physical touch, give him headpats! He’s been through so much (*cough* chapter 6 *cough*) and he’ll just melt if you give him any kind of soft attention. He’s probably a softie at heart like you are, so you guys match wavelengths so well.

Idia would love to spend as much free time with you as possible, even if that means you guys just hang around in his room or your room. Please just text him if you want to hang out since he’s more than willing to spend time with you. Ortho might ask you if he can join just because, and honestly all three of you might have a vibe going. Also Ortho’s adorable and he loves seeing you guys together so much (probably starts calling you “sis” too).

He will never judge you for what you like, your strengths or weaknesses, or anything else. He loves you for who you are, loves you for being an artist, a plushy lover, and a gamer like him. Know that he’s always going to be by your side and there for you.

Overall you guys match vibes so well, and he just loves being with you so much he could probably cry 😭

#twst x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst scenarios #ask box #twst matchup #twst idia #twst idia shroud #twst idia x reader #idia shroud #idia #idia headcanons #idia x y/n #twst ignihyde #ignihyde x reader

[digimonloving]

Idk if you are taking requests rn if you arent its no prob but i have totake this one off me chest.

Myotismon having a female tamer that loves cute stuff im talking plushies and pink and flowers and puppies and sanrio stuff and all that kawaii aesthetic but having a very grungy gothy punky egirl fashion sense im talking "whats your fav colour?" And the tamer all dressed up in black straight face goes "pink". I just need that in my life.

Myotismon with a Fem Tamer that has a punky grunge gothy aesthetic, but loves cute stuff

It does slightly throw Myotismon for a loop when he looks at her visual aesthetics and it's all dark and grungy, but when looking at the things she owns that aren't her clothes being so bright and cute. He thought he had a read on her from their first meeting, but to see what she actually likes makes him rethink it heavily.

Now, he's not going to poke about it. After all, it's only natural to enjoy a fashion choice,but have other interests and love for the cute little things depending on some things. He just didn't get the feel that she enjoyed it from her initial demeanor or style. How straight face she gets when saying how much she actually loves plushies and the colour pink. It makes him chuckle at the contrast.

He does adore her style, both of them. It makes it strangely easy for Myotismon to figure out what sort of gifts to give her, and tune into her sort of style of things. He's a rather big fan of her fashion choice, which is quite the given for this dark gentleman of a Digimon, but goes along with her enjoyment of the softer, cuter things she enjoys as well.

Truly, at their first meeting of one another, Myotismon figured her to be into all sorts of dark themes and the like simply due to her outfit choice. Which, to be fair, was probably not the best thing to think of immediately from his Tamer, but her style screamed it. Until he saw everything her room had to offer. Being blasted by the sudden style change completely threw him off. He had to get a different read on her after that, which didn't take him too terribly long. But it still did make him confused in the end.

Now that Myotismon has spent plenty of time with her, he gets it in his own way. She dresses well in black, the gothy aesthetic always one to be enjoyed most certainly. But just because she has such a dress code for her outings, doesn't mean she can't enjoy the cute things as well.

Myotismon does make an off-hand joke about maybe she should try to be a pastel goth if she enjoys the cute stuff so much, but he also has grown far too attached to her dark dressing he quickly makes sure that she knows he was joking. Though... She might pull it off... But he still prefers the dark look, it makes a good contrast for her room and other hobbies.

#Digimon #Digimon and Tamer #Myotismon

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

there's only so much more of this insanity I can take. every fucking weekend. its always something. I just want to die. I don't want this anymore. the professors think I have all weekend. that my home life is stable and predictable. im not trying to be a whiny bitch that says aaaah I have no time. but I cant say I have all the advantages either. I don't even remember to drink water half the time. im barely alive. I struggle every day to find joy in anything. and it's never. ever. enough.

ever fucking. weekend.

I always say oooooh im gonna have a productive weekend

IT NEVEER HAPPENS. fuck I wish I had a car and just one place to live at instead of goin back and forth im so fucking tired of this chaos I think I have to move in somewhere permanently and have a swirly chair or im going to kill myself

...hhhhh....

whatever this happens every time. its not really college if there's no chaos. these bitches don't know me or what ive been through. they don't know shit. its none of their business how well im doing in class. its mine.

so im getting back to it.

I love y'all and im trying to love myself it hurts so much every time there is a minor inconvenience like slowly decaying because I smoke so much because everything is so stressful and I sleep less because nothing gets FUCKING DONE on the weekend ds and I have caffeine a lot and basically im gonna die of. heart attack and I also eat salty food a lot so yeah heart attack lets goo

:"((((((((((

im really trying, my bf doesn't think im trying but im really trying im hanging by a fucking thread these teachers don't realize how close I am to finally leaving this place my classmates do not realize how close I am or maybe they do and they rightfully don't care. im completely delusional I HATE ALLNIGHTERS I TRIED TO LIEK THEM BUT MY MOOD BECOMES DEMONIC I HATE ITTT

fuck everything its no use getting mad. of course its not fair, but getting mad isn't gonna make it more fair :"(

I desperately need sleep but since I cant have that right now I;ll work hard so maybe I can ... idk if I can have a nap before school I have less than 3 hours basically

im gonna kms at this rate food is genuinely the only thing keeping me here and maybe the dream of living with my bf on the farm with no stress ever again

I hate stress so much I have to get better at managing this because im literally going to die if I keep stressing so much relaxing is so fucking hard.

ok im actually gonna go back to work I just needed to go on a delusional rant to retain some sense of sanity

#so fucking mad #rant #mental illness #sensory overload #chaotic life #nothing goes well for me #I hate my life rn #I hate everynting rn #nothing is good #everything sucks #tw suicide #homework #excuses #im a bad person #im ugly #I hate myself #I have a fake personality #I have a ugly personality #im mean #im mean and bad and fake #I have so many problems #bpd #university