#meow.......//redbull

[sooouth]

Know what I'm grateful ya didn't recognize me yet

But like. Y'know it ain't good if you overdose the medicinal right

i ain't overdosing boi i'm fine i aswear jsust uh. i can't type this isn't right

very euphoria

#meow.// #hhahahaha i sjould use the #meow.......//redbull #tag instead GEUYGIYFGR

[blorbocedes]

pov i work at redbull and am about to order wagyu steak (pescetarian btw) and take 300 days of paid sick leave 😎

#redbull racing #my lil meow meow team who have never done any crimes :(

[raibebe]

Genre: fluff Words: 1.367 Prompt: Samoyed hybrid Jeno x fem. reader

Warnings: brief mention of injury

A/N: I had this 80% done in my drafts for SO FREAKING LONG. So here finally is a new Jenpup and his baby pups fic. 🥺 I love them a lot.

Hybridverse masterlist

Jeno had been holed up in his gaming room for a couple of hours now, working on cutting down the mess that the last stream with Donghyuck and Chenle had been so he could make it fit into a video for Youtube. Which was a task in itself. Between their audio overlapping, Chenle’s laugh clipping his mic, and them getting absolutely sidetracked and not getting anything done, he was questioning his abilities as an editor to make this video worth watching. And honestly, he should just suggest starting the stream earlier next time because at one point way past midnight, they had just started to bark, jodel and meow at each other for two minutes straight. 

Taking a sip from his trustworthy redbull, he stretched out his back, which made a bunch of satisfying popping noises. He really wasn’t getting any younger. Groaning, the Samoyed hybrid got up from his chair to stretch his legs and tail. With another sigh, he looked at the time: He had already been holed up in his room for way too long. Saving his progress on the video, he decided to give his ears and eyes a break from editing. 

Coming out of his room, he was already greeted with the sweet giggles of his baby girl, the sound music to his ears. With a big smile plastered on his face, Jeno carefully made his way to the living room where the sound came from. And there, on the living room sofa, you were playing with Aerum, tickling her belly until she was screeching with laughter. “Enough, Mommy,” she yelped, the sound high and puppy-like, and you finally yielded, instead pressing a kiss to her tummy. Still smiling brightly, Jeno caught your eyes, bringing a finger to his lips. Nodding discreetly, you turned your attention back to Aerum to gently sort out the mess that had become of her hair during your little playfight. Like she was a teething puppy, Aerum only snapped at your fingers, catching them between her teeth before she started laughing loudly when you let out an over-exaggerated sound of pain. 

With a loud gasp, Jeno picked up Aerum to throw her up into the air, securely catching the screeching toddler to bury his face in her tummy, inhaling her clean puppy scent. “Daddy!” She screeched, the sound loud in Jeno’s sensitive ears, but he was used to it after having two children with little to no volume control. “You’re not supposed to bite, little one,” he playfully scolded her, acting like he was taking a big bite from her belly. “No, Daddy!” She giggled, wiggling in his grip. “Be nice to your Mommy,” Jeno chuckled, throwing his daughter into the air again before securing her on his hip. “Understood?” He added, gently flicking her fluffy ear. “Always nice,” Aerum argued and stuck out her tongue. “Sticking out your tongue at your Daddy isn’t nice, young lady.” 

Ignoring her dad’s comment, Aerum only stuck her tongue out further. “Oh, you’re going to regret this, young lady,” Jeno playfully threatened her, “I’ll give you five seconds to put that away. One- Two- Three~ Four~ Five! That’s it!” With a loud scream from his daughter, Jeno secured her against his chest before dropping down on the sofa, roughly scenting her until her loud laugh turned into sweet giggles, and she gently copied Jeno’s movements, rubbing their noses together. “Missed you, Daddy,” Aerum whispered, throwing her chubby arms around Jeno’s neck. “I’m sorry, princess,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around her too. “Daddy sometimes gets lost in his work,” you explained, sorting out Jeno’s hair before you started scratching his ears. “That’s boring,” Aerum pouted. “That’s what adults do, princess,” Jeno smiled lopsidedly, “We sometimes have to do boring stuff.” “Don’t wanna be an adult.” “You don’t have to be for a long time, princess,” you giggled, kissing the side of her head. “Come here,” Jeno smiled, “Cuddle time.” Mirroring his smile, you squeezed yourself next to your boyfriend onto the narrow sofa, letting Aerum nuzzle into your neck like she was scenting you. 

“You know what?” Jeno asked after a while. “Hmm?” “It’s awfully quiet.” Staying silent, you listened for noises in your apartment, and Jeno was right. It was awfully quiet for a home with two young children. “This isn’t good,” you concluded, getting up from the sofa. “What’s wrong, Daddy?” Aerum asked shyly, her big eyes wide. “Nothing, princess,” Jeno reassured her, his hand finding its way into her hair to scratch at her ears, a safe method for any of the puppies in the household to melt. 

“Haneul?” You called out but to no avail. Your son stayed quiet. Honestly, you should give him credit since that was one of the hardest things for him to do. “He’s in my room,” Jeno answered in place of his son, his ears twitching as he picked up sounds way too quiet for you to hear. Groaning, you rolled your eyes. “He knows he’s not supposed to be in there without either of us. I’ll go get him.” 

“Is he in trouble?” Aerum whispered, pulling Jeno’s attention away from eavesdropping. “No, princess,” Jeno sighed, hugging her against his chest, “But-” He interrupted himself to kiss her forehead, “You know you’re not allowed in Daddy’s room without Mom or me.” “I know,” the little pup pouted, “Because there’s boring adult stuff.” “That’s right, princess,” he chuckled, pinching her chubby cheeks in an onslaught of cute aggression. 

“Jeno?” You called out. “Huh?” He called back, sitting up with Aerum on his lap. “Get your fucking son.” Before Jeno could even react to you cursing in front of your children, he heard Haneul barreling towards the living room. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuck,” Haneul repeated the curse word, jumping on the sofa before he went off to run around the kitchen island, which luckily featured rounded corners and Haneul had been wearing grippy socks since an incident he had when he was three that included a trip to the hospital and a concussion. “What happened?” “Remember that redbull on your desk?” You groaned, tiredly rubbing your face, simply stepping out of the doorframe to let your son run down the hallway. “No.” “Yes.” You responded with a tight-lipped smile. “Fuck.” “Ehehehehehhe, fuuuck,” Haneul all but howled, jumping onto the sofa again to grab his sister, who only giggled and started jumping up and down with him. “You’re dealing with this,” you concluded. 

“Pups,” Jeno tried to get their attention, “You’re going to hurt yourselves.” But it was to no avail. His pups weren’t listening and because Haneul had yet to understand that he was much bigger and stronger than his sister, he roughly tackled her onto the cushions. But before Jeno’s heart could stop, Aerum’s loud laughter cut through the living room and she was fighting back dirty; gripping onto her brother’s heavily wagging tail to get him to stop roughing her up. 

“Pups,” Jeno tried again, gripping Haneul at the back of his shirt to pull him off of his sister. Instead of going limp like he always did when he was younger, Haneul wound himself out of Jeno’s grip and slapped his little hand onto his bicep. “Tag, you’re it!” Before Jeno could process anything, Haneul was up on his feet, dragging Aerum up and out through the screen door and into the garden. 

When Jeno sat there frozen and with his eyes wide, you could just giggle: “You wanted another one.” “I did,” he sighed. “Daaaaaaad!” Haneul called from the outside, “You can’t catch us!” “Go play with them. I’ll get started on dinner,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips. “They’re going to sleep well tonight,” he promised, softly kissing you again. 

“Stop being gross!” Aerum interrupted this time, her face and hands pressed against the big and formerly clean windows. “Go run, little Lady,” Jeno growled playfully and in turn, Aerum let out an excited little yip as she ran further into the big garden. With a smile on his lips and his tail wagging with barely concealed excitement, Jeno pulled on his shoes, delighted to hear his pups squeal when he closed the screen door behind himself. 

#jeno #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #jeno fluff #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios

[sherlockig]

Nine people you'd like to know better

I was tagged by @darkinerry @funforahermit @stedesbonnets @serpenatrix @gentlebeard @blakbonnet @sleepystede @agaywithcoffee @ofmd-ann and @snake-snack-stede (love u all so sweet <3)

Three ships:

Ed and Stede are the one and only right now

Crowley and Aziraphale

Dont make me choose between my murder husbands and wives - Villanelle/Eve and Will/Hannibal.

First ship -> uuuh i dont even know. i was into harry and draco very early but i also had a few real people ships i will not speak about here and you all need to forgive me because i was 11 and the year was 2005 - we did not know better. i also might have shipped Aragon and Legolas when i was 7 or something but i dont know if that counts because i didnt know what it was. Also Will and Elizabeth from potc was my otp for a long time. the pirate brainrot runs deep in this one.

Last song -> the last dinner party - nothing matters

Currently Reading -> meow epos Moonstone Mage Championship (i am on chapter 6 now and i love it)

Last film -> the whole annabelle triologi in one sitting while trying to get some work done. if i work from home i get to have a horror movie playing the background as a reward. that is the rules

Currently craving -> a really cold redbull, some sour candy and 24 hours of deep melatonin infused sleep.

I dont know who to tag really because i feel like everyone and their mother have already done this so.. if you have already done it pls ignore me @izzy-b-hands @youshouldseemeinadeerstalker @hummingbee-o0o @nandorisms @appleteeth @eye-scream-girls @tabbystardust @lostanxiousfool and @glam-hutchence

#personal #tagged #<3 #tag game

[delicatesoundofthunderr]

Lock up~ Chapter 5

{Charles Leclerc x Reader}

SOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING MORE I SWEAR ILL TRY TO BE MORE CONSISTENT

•••

Post Italian GP

Y/N POV

My festivities were cut short because I was really tired, and my head was buzzing. I was going to walk back to my hotel room, which was also a great time for me to think this race over.

On my way, the streets were peaceful until I heard a rustling in a nearby alley. I instantly envisioned the worst. What could be hiding in there?

My heart started to quicken in my chest as curiosity got the best of me and I approached the sound carefully. I could make out the sound of... A meow?

I fastened my pace and sure enough, a cat was waiting there for me. It meowed loudly, almost smiling as it rubbed itself on me.

The cat was probably nearing adulthood, and was a bright orange. A little white spot under its chin was the only thing keeping the coat from a perfect amber colour.

" Well aren't you cute!" I say to the cat, lifting it in my arms.

The cat only purred and closed its eyes. No collar on the cat... Surely I could keep it? A little gift from Italy for winning the race!

" Oh my god I know what your name's gonna be. Monza!" I declared with a huge smile.

The cat meowed contently. I put him down, and suddenly Monza was following me. We both walked to my hotel, and when we arrived there i looked into my fridge to get something to eat. Mozzarella sticks would do the trick.

But, as soon as i opened one up, Monza looked at me with the biggest puppy eyes. I caved in and gave him some. He ate the thing up in half a second and purred.

"Monza likes Mozzarella apparently..." I giggle, my eyes bright.

•••

@yn.rb

Found this little guy on the side of the street... Welcome home, Monza 😊

@rm.reve: Aww!!

@F1.Drama: Max was so cute for giving you that win girl <3 true love!

@vmp.fr: Undeserved win tbh

@kyle.m: Yall think Max braked extra earlier on purpose?

-> @vmp.fr: 100%

-> @f1.4ever: for sure 😂

I was fucking fuming at the comments. I was gonna confront Max at the next Grand Prix. I went to bed with 100 emotions, hoping no nightmares would occur tonight.

•••

Present - France GP

Monza was now following you everywhere you went. It was very cute, but kind of sad when he tried to leave with you to go to the French Grand Prix. 

You did a last checkup of everything you needed and went to the door. Monza wasn't there anymore, so you took the opportunity to quickly leave before he came back.

You arrived at the track a bit later than usual, so most of the drivers were already there. You went into the garage and waved at your team with a smile.

Free Practices were coming up, so you had to get your head in the game and check the tests you were going to run in that session. You dropped your bags and sat down at the computer.

•••

Charles was feeling Ferrari's pressure more than ever, and he felt like being rude to everyone today. Even Carlos, who was constantly trying to cheer him up.

He decided to go take a walk to clear his head.

He was so immersed in his own thoughts that he almost tripped over something orange. Orange?

He look down and saw a cat. What the hell was it doing here?

"Wait... Is that not Y/N's cat?" thought Charles.

She kept posting it on social media... The little spot under the chin, how could it not be hers?

He decided to pick the rather small cat up, because it's a very dangerous place for an animal to be in.

The cat immediately clung onto Charles' shoulder and snuggled his head in the Monégasque's neck. He chuckled softly.

Leclerc decided to head to the RedBull garage to see if Y/N was searching for Monza. With one hand over the cat's back, he head off.

A lot of mechanics were staring at the Ferrari driver walking right outside their garage with a cat on his shoulder.

You finally appeared around a corner.

You looked at Charles with a puzzled expression, then a shocked one when you saw the cat that was now half sleeping on him.

" What?? What are you doing here..." you say, talking to the cat more than him.

"I found him near the pitlane and I thought it'd be safer to bring him back to you." Leclerc explains.

" Thank you so much I'm so sorry I don't- I don't even know how he got here." You say, bewildered.

You then reach out to take the sleepy kitty, but when you pull he doesn't budge. Monza's claws are deep into Charles' race suit, and you have trouble removing Monza from him.

" Oh my fucking god you don't even know him." You scold Monza, still tugging at the peaceful cat.

" Here, let me." Charles starts.

" Oh like it's gonna work with you." You say rolling your eyes.

He ignores you and pulls on the cat. His claws only tightened their grip and he didn't want to hurt the cat, so he stopped and looked at you.

You sighed.

" Come with me, I have string cheese in my room. And close your eyes, Ferrari boy. You're not supposed to be seeing all of this," you say, leading him by the hand because of his closed eyes.

You guys arrive there and Charles' hand lingers in yours. He closes the door behind you guys. You don't question it and instead head for the mini fridge.

As soon as you open the string cheese, Monza is on the ground, purring happily.

Leclerc can't help but laugh.

You smiled a bit, only just remembering the sound of his genuine laughter.

" He's a silly guy. Found him on the side of the street and he loves Mozzarella."

When Monza is done with the cheese, he's instantly back to Charles' feet. He chuckles and pets him. A heavy silence had seized the room, and it seemed to be bouncing off the walls by how loud it was. Charles puts an end to it.

" It's not a good idea." He suddenly looks up at you.

" What?"

" You and Max. And you know it." He says accusingly.

" It's none of your business. I like Max and he likes me. I'm not gonna stop myself from dating someone just because we're both drivers." You say half truthfully.

Charles stares at you intently, a tint of darkness in his usual bright eyes.

" It's not healthy."

"It's not your problem."

Charles looks at you one more time before opening the door, and he looks back over his shoulder.

" It won't end well. You know it." he seriously states, shutting your door and leaving.

•••

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #fanfic #f1 #max verstappen #fanfiction #x reader

[undercoverbastard]

Yowlin’ For You

“Don’t believe me?” he asked, a bit haughtily, lips becoming pursed. “Hmm… did your supposed, imaginary cat sound anything like… this?”

Stilinski proceeded to meow long and loud, making Derek clamp down and bite at his lips to hold in the laughter. The guy wasn’t too bad, his imitation of a yowling cat was pretty spot on actually. But, still, there was something undeniably hilarious about a shirtless college student with pillow creases still marring their face throwing their head back and yowling at the top of their lungs like a distressed cat. Matt on the other hand looked none too pleased.

“No, actually, it didn’t,” he huffed.

“Oh? Hm - maybe this?” Stilinski asked, making several shorter, higher-pitched sounds, imitating a chittering cat. Derek was now raising his eyebrows, eyeing the guy. Even from his placement behind Matt, he could see red splotches crawling up the RA’s neck and speckling his skin, showing just how frustrated he was becoming. Stilisnki remained undeterred.

+.+.+

OR: another writers block + 15 WIPs + tumblr prompt = something involving cats that is meant to make you feel good. that's it. that's the fic.

Derek froze up when he turned the corner, his dorm room in sight and the RA - Matt - standing there knocking loudly. He slowed his steps, trying to make out what was being said.

“Hale!” Matt finally loud, ending his incessant mumbling, voice sharp. “Open up! I know you have a cat in there!”

Hearing the words, Derek began to freak out. He watched as Matt began to search his pockets, more than likely trying to find his master key for the dorms. Quickly, Derek strode up, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance. He wasn’t all too sure he was pulling it off - there’s a reason he refused to take theater, even if Laura was a Big Name among BHHS for all the roles she played (that was reason number two for why he didn’t sign up: Laura).

“Matt? Everything okay?” Derek asked, scrunching up his eyebrows in fake confusion. He could feel his heart thudding loudly in his chest. The only reason he was even half-sane was because Fenny never turned him down when he scooped her up and made her cuddle with him. Otherwise, Derek probably would have overdosed on Redbulls or impaled himself on his pencil after falling asleep at his desk at 4 AM while doing an essay (for the nth time.

When Matt heard Derek, he whipped around with a murderous look in his eye. Angrily, the shorter man moved much too close to Derek, with only a few inches of space between them, and shoved his finger harshly into Derek’s chest. This was the closest Derek had ever been to the RA and he was quickly understanding why the entire floor avoided him like the plague no matter how dire a situation may be. Matt made Derek’s skill crawl .

“I know there’s a cat in there! I could hear it and it explains why I’ve felt like I’ve had a damn cold for the past two weeks. You know the rules; no pets. Get rid of it,” the last few words came out from clamped teeth, a vein popping out on Matt’s forehead and making Derek shrink in on himself. Which, aside from that gross display on Matt’s face, was not at all accurate. Fenny had been living in the dorms since the third week of the semester. They were barely a week away from finals; it had been much longer than two weeks and therefore was not the cause of Matt’s stupid cold symptoms! Though, Derek thought, that fact would not help his case.

Fumbling, Derek grappled for words, silently shaking his head as he looked at the other. Unfortunately, when Derek clammed up, he got what his sisters lovingly called ‘murder face’ - his eyebrows knit together, his lips dipped into a harsh downward curve, his jaw tensed, and he overall looked like he was ten seconds away from a killing spree. Oddly enough, such a look did nothing to deter Matt - if anything, it only egged him on further.

Squinting his eyes, Matt stabbed his finger into Derek’s chest again, leaning forward into uncomfortable levels of closeness. “Anything to say, tough guy?”

“I,” Derek finally got out, his jaw unclenching just enough, “don’t know what you’re tal-”

“BULLSHIT!” Matt suddenly yelled, causing Derek to lean back as far as he could. The shrill sound of Matt’s voice made his ears ring. Not only did the guy give off the world’s biggest Creeper Vibes he was also headache-inducing. Quite literally, in Derek’s case, seeing as his brain felt like it was being assaulted by the sharp tingling sensation that now took residence in his eardrums.

Luckily, before Matt could continue his screeching and squalling, a door opened up just next to Derek’s - behind Matt. A guy popped his head out, squinting angrily at the duo. He had a mess of brown hair that seemed to spill in all directions and Derek could still see the creases from the guy’s pillow pressed into one of his cheeks. If the murderous squint he had directed at them didn’t show his displeasure then the exaggerated frown did. It was almost comical how low the guy’s mouth was downturned.

“Dude, what the hell is going on out here?” the guy asked, his voice rough from - what Derek assumed - his interrupted sleep. Derek would later reflect on just how nice that voice sounded, deep and rough around the edges; tinted with sleep.

Matt let out what was probably meant to be a growl before turning to face the other. Derek was all too glad to have his attention directed elsewhere so he could take a couple of steps back and reestablish his personal bubble. He did, however, feel guilty that Matt’s rage was now turned towards this stranger (this admittedly cute stranger, who Derek was now realizing he had never seen and was largely disappointed by such a fact).

“Butt out, Stilinski,” Matt snapped, making a shooing motion with one hand. Surprisingly, the guy - Stilinski - seemed unphased by the angry outburst. If anything, it seemed to egg him on as he opened his door even more, lips curling up into a lazy smirk instead of their previous frown. Derek watched as the guy leaned back against his door jamb, arms crossed over his bare chest, head cocked in question as he looked both Derek and Matt up and down. He was sure Stilinski’s eyes lingered on him a bit longer, but they quickly snapped back towards Matt before he could take even a second to process the probability.

“I would,” Stilinski drawled, “but your hissy fit is disturbing my beauty rest. And I need my whole 3 hours, Matty. Looks like this takes a lot of effort - you don’t want my dashing looks to wither away now, do you? Exactly - so I can’t butt out.”

The more the guy talked, the easier it was to see the smirk on his face. By the end of it, he was all but grinning at Matt, a twinkle of amusement and mischief lighting up his eyes as he spoke. It seemed like a familiar song and dance with the way he said ‘Mattie’, the snark and sass secondhand. Or maybe that’s just how this guy was, Derek thought.

Matt’s attention seemed to be focused entirely on Stilinski now as he took a couple of steps closer to him. However, the other man stayed as he was - relaxed, unbothered. He was definitely familiar with Matt, then. No one could be faced with someone as unsettling as Matt Daehler for the first time and be this unphased.

“You can blame your lack of sleep and apparent ‘beauty’ on Hale and his damn cat,” Matt hissed. “Now go back to your room and butt out .”

At this, Stilinski seemed to straighten up, a proper look of confusion no painting his features. Derek found the confused pout and cocked head reminiscent of a puppy. Just as cute, too.

“Cat? I think you’re mistaken, Mattie, cats aren’t allowed in the dorms, and Hale,” he nodded, jutting his chin in Derek’s direction, “is as prim and proper as they come. I don’t even hear the guy open his door after 9 PM. Think ya got the wrong guy, dude.”

Matt gave his attempt at a growl once more, shaking his head. “Cut the shit, I heard the meowing. Do I looks stupid?!” A muffled huff of laughter was given at the end, Stilinski moving a hand up to rub at his jaw as if to hide the action, but if Derek could hear it from where he stood he was certain Matt could too. Derek’s own silent chuckle caused him to duck his head, doing his best to remain in the background of whatever was now going on.

“Hate to burst your bubble,” Stiles said, grinning widely and not-at-all sorry or apologetic, “but that wasn’t a cat. That was me!”

It was Matt’s turn to laugh, his snort loud and clear as he shook his head. This reaction prompted Stilinski to raise an eyebrow as if in challenge. Derek was, by this point, utterly lost on where this whole thing was going. Maybe Stilinski was also harboring a cat? But if so - why out himself? And if he wasn’t harboring his own fluffy, cuddly refugee, then why bother swooping to Derek’s defense?

“Don’t believe me?” he asked, a bit haughtily, lips becoming pursed. “Hmm… did your supposed, imaginary cat sound anything like… this?”

Stilinski proceeded to meow long and loud, making Derek clamp down and bite at his lips to hold in the laughter. The guy wasn’t too bad, his imitation of a yowling cat was pretty spot on actually. But, still, there was something undeniably hilarious about a shirtless college student with pillow creases still marring their face throwing their head back and yowling at the top of their lungs like a distressed cat. Matt on the other hand looked none too pleased.

“No, actually, it didn’t,” he huffed.

“Oh? Hm - maybe this?” Stilinski asked, making several shorter, higher-pitched sounds, imitating a chittering cat. Derek was now raising his eyebrows, eyeing the guy. Even from his placement behind Matt, he could see red splotches crawling up the RA’s neck and speckling his skin, showing just how frustrated he was becoming. Stilisnki remained undeterred.

“Oh! Oh! How about this one - I do this one a lot when I’m bored-”

He promptly cut himself off, producing a long mrrrow and a rumbling purr-adjacent sound at the end. The purr was shaky, less accurate, but more of an afterthought than the ‘mrow’; at this point, Derek could tell he was just fucking with Matt, seeing how far he could push the guy.

“I mean, maybe you heard a hiss? I do that one a lot too, yanno, doing homework and stuff. Here, let me show you,” Stilinski offered, now standing up straight and taking in a deep breath as he prepared to - apparently - hiss at Matt. Unfortunately (or maybe, fortunately, for Stilinski’s remaining pride and Matt’s barely contained rage), Matt cut him off with waving hands.

“I get it, I get it! It was you, Jesus Christ,” Matt grumbled. “Just cut it out with the fucking cat noises and stay out of my sight, I don’t care anymore.”

Turning to cast one last withering look at Derek, Matt huffed and stalked off. Stilinski gave a mock salute with two fingers, his lazy smirk quickly and easily settling back into place as he watched the RA slink away and around the corner. After several seconds of quiet, when Matt was possibly out of earshot but also possibly not, Stilisnki burst into laughter, bending his body in half as he curled into himself and clutched his stomach. His laughter was loud and clear, pouring out from deep in his stomach as the sounds wracked through his body in waves. Derek couldn’t help but grin at the sight, the joy from the other contagious.

After he had his fill of laughing and had once more straightened himself out, Stilinski finally looked up and met eyes with Derek. Derek gave an awkward half-smile in response, hesitantly raising his hand slightly to offer a wave as means of greeting. The only response was an amused smile.

Figuring the interaction was done with, Derek gave a nod of thanks, ducked his head, and made the final few steps until he was in front of his door. He jiggled the door while twisting his key in the lock for a second or two before a voice spoke up, suddenly much closer than it was the last time Derek heard it.

“So can I see him?”

Jerking, Derek shoved his door open a few inches as he pivoted to come face-to-face with Stilisnki. Who was now standing next to Derek. Still shirtless. With his hands in his pockets. And rocking on his feet. And with the cutest, most hopeful smile on his face. Shit .

Realizing he’d not answered and was still staring at the guy, Derek shook his head to clear himself before clearing his throat, mumbling a quick, “Her.” Which was not what he meant to focus on or respond to - but at least it was a response. Sort of.

Stilisnki scrunched his eyebrows in confusion before understanding dawned, a more excited tone coloring his voice when he corrected himself, “Can I see her ?”

Derek darted a glance down the hall, cocking his head back and forth ever so slightly, before sighing and deciding fuck it. With a nod, he was suddenly pushed back away from his own door as Stilinski wormed his way into his room. Once he got over the abruptness of the actions, Derek followed him in and shut the door behind himself. When he turned around, he came face to face with the sight of Stilisnki laying on the ground on his stomach, a hand outstretched just under Derek’s bed as he clicked his tongue softly to try and coax Fenny out.

Fenny was usually quiet and content with keeping to herself. If she wasn’t sleeping next to Derek at night or curled up in his lap while he studied then she was often found under his bed, curled up on her own fluffy bed filled with toys and blankets. The toys she had were rarely played with, however, though she did entertain herself endlessly with the dangling strings of the hoodie thrown over the back of Derek’s desk chair. He’d gotten an extra long piece of cord and threw it over the back of the chair, tying it to the middle support beam that held up the backrest. That way, he could wear his hoodie without feeling guilty and Fenny could play with the string without knocking his hoodie to the ground and ending the fun accidentally. It was a win-win.

“Oh, what a pretty girl, oh! And you’re so soft, like a piece of fluffy cotton candy - and just so sweet,” Stilinski cooed, words falling in a mumble as if he couldn’t control them. He praised Fenny with every word even faintly resembling ‘pretty’ at least twice, compared her to soft clouds, all but recited a poem about her ‘silky’ fur, and proclaimed several times how he would be forced to kidnap her if she didn’t stop purring in such a ridiculously cute way. Derek was actually a little scared the guy would, in fact, try and steal her.

Derek was caught up in his thoughts, doing his own silently cooing over how adorable Stilinski was acting sprawled across his dingy dorm carpet just to pet a cat, that he missed the question. He caught the tail end of it, a murmured ‘...name?’. Assuming he was asking Derek’s name, Derek replied as such.

“Derek. Derek Hale.”

This prompted Stilinski to turn bodily towards Derek, propping himself up on one elbow, and raise his eyebrows in question. With amusement clear as day, he asked, “You named her Derek? Not a name I’d think of for a cat, or a girl, but I’m not one to judge.”

Derek felt himself flush momentarily as he shook his head. “No- no, her name is Fenny, I’m Derek… sorry.” This only made the guy laugh, his shoulders shaking with the noise and movement of his body, uncontrolled by the laughter freely flowing out just as before.

“Ah, that makes much more sense,” he mused before adding, “I’m Stiles.”

Derek rolled the name around in his head, finding it oddly suiting for the guy (though, Stiles Stilinski ? That had to be some nickname, maybe a middle name, right? He knew a few people who had things for alliteration with names but… Stiles Stilinski? ). The guy must have heard his thoughts as he puffed out another breath of air in laughter as he assured Derek it was ‘just a nickname for his inconceivable first name’. Derek couldn’t help but ponder what Stiles’ actual name was, along with what his favorite color was, what bands he listened to, if he preferred Mexican or Italian, if he’d prefer to get coffee or catch a movie instead on a first date…

Shaking himself from his lost train of thought, Derek awkwardly cleared his throat, once more catching Stiles’ eyes before he ducked his head down a bit. “Uh, thanks. For, you know, covering for Fenny and me. With Matt. I don’t know what I’d do if they made me get rid of her,” Derek said, thinking a proper thanks was called for, all things considered. His brain may have gone off course but the realization of what just took place in the last ten minutes made him realize all that led up to Stiles being in his dorm room now and how it could have gone terribly wrong instead.

Stiles simply waved him off before he dragged himself back into a standing position, his fingers lazily dragging themselves through Fenny’s fur once more as he fully stood up, causing the black-haired monster Derek called a pet to quietly protest and begin to wind herself around Stiles’ legs in search of more pets. Stiles grinned down at her quickly before looking back up at Derek.

“No problem, Mattie Boy is a real piece of work - I’d have done it just to get under his skin. Helping you and Fenny out was just the cherry on top,” he said, popping the ‘p’ at the end and offering a crooked grin. He suddenly tilted his head, a question dancing in his eyes.

“Fenny… how’d you come up with that anyhow?” Stiles asked, genuinely seeming intrigued. Derek blushed a bit, already knowing a follow-up question would be asked once he explained the name.

“Ah, well… I called her Fenrir when I first found her but then it just… became Fenny and… yea,” Derek mumbled. Stiles seemed to light up at that. It made Derek feel things, very bubbly happy things, at the intrigue and delight that swam in the other’s eyes, his eyes all but glowing and glinting in the dully lit room.

“From Norse mythology? Awesome, dude! How’d you even come up with that? And where’d you even find her? I mean, I saw you sneak in once with some litter a couple of months back so I know it’s been a while but she’s pretty quiet. Have you had her this whole time? Dude - sneaking her in must have been a bitch,” Stiles rambled, a seeming mountain of questions already piling up. Derek felt overwhelmed just the slightest but couldn’t help the slight smile that peeked out.

“It’s kind of a long story,” he muttered, shrugging. The mischievous glint returned to Stiles’ eyes, though his posture seemed to become a bit shy, smoothing out and ever so slightly hunching in on himself as he eyed Derek for a moment.

After a brief pause, Stiles shrugged in seeming nonchalance as he announced, “I’m not busy. Maybe you could tell me about it. Maybe over coffee or something…”

Derek squinted ever so slightly, seeing how the softest of pinks began to bloom over Stiles’ cheeks, how his hand reached up to push through his hair while his eyes darted to the side as he awaited an answer. Maybe Derek wasn’t the only one interested.

“Sure,” Derek offered, “it’s a date.”

Stiles grinned widely, straightening up immediately. “Okay, yea, awesome! Let me just, uh, I’ll go grab my phone and wallet if - if you’re free now…?”

Derek nodded, taking another look at Stiles, allowing himself a minute to properly look the other over. With a sly smirk, he added, “Now works. But… are you going to grab a shirt too? Or do you usually forego a shirt on a first date?”

Stiles looked down, seemingly surprised at his state of dress, before barking out a laugh and shaking his head. When he looked back up at Derek, he already knew from the grin on the other’s face that his next words were going to be just as teasing.

“No, not usually… unless you’re lucky,” Stiles replied, offering a wink. He moved towards the door, seemingly to go grab his phone, but paused just before opening the door. “If you’re really lucky, maybe I’ll forego more than just the shirt. Guess we’ll see.”

With that, Stiles slipped out of the room and down the hall. Derek was left grinning at the closed door, a rush of excitement and delight pumping through his veins. Fenny decided her presence had been ignored long enough and began to paw at his legs until Derek picked her up. Scratching her stomach and listening to her purr, Derek mumbled to himself.

“If I am lucky, you’ll have the room all to yourself tonight, Fenny.”

Fenny purred and nuzzled against his chest, seemingly uncaring of the declaration. Derek took as her agreement to such an arrangement. He’d deal with whatever passive-aggressive shredding of clothes Fenny decided to do in protest if such a thing happened at a later time. For now, he had to focus on getting ready for his date. And on how to convince Stiles to forego his shirt again. And the rest of his clothes.

End Note:

Please note this is not edited or beta read or anything. I’m aware there’s typos and I’ve tried to clean it up as best as I can but there’s bound to still be some! This was originally posted on AO3 and a link to it will be posted after this as well!

If any changes / edits are made on AO3 it’s for minor changes such as spelling or grammar. Changes will not be made in this post - please see AO3 for the most updated version of anything posted here!(:

#ao3 #ao3fic #derek hale #stiles stilinski #sterek #derek x stiles #sterek fics #derek hale x stiles stilinski #college au #cat fic #Derek has a cat #tumblr protest #alternate universe #alternate universe college #fluff #fluffy #out of character #derek hale fanfiction #stiles stilinksi fanfiction #requests open

[meaty4spicedbuns]

Tokyo Revengers - How they would react if they little moew moew go f e r a l

Fem!reader x Grown up!Toman's Boy, pairing : Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya, Chifuyu, Baji

Grown's up them with Mikey not turning completly crazy. Can we say he had black hairs ? Because it SUIT HIM SO WELL eheh *black hair team* eh,,oh,, Baji's alive ofc*

Pairing : All of them grown up! with Manjiro Mikey Sano, Ken Draken Ryûgûji, Keisuke Baji, Matsuno Chifuyu and Takashi Mitsuya

Warning : Fighting and you being badass and the boys being jaw dropped ? , also i proofread it four times but english isn't my native langage so if there is still mistake i can't do anything about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Resume : You are a girl. And boys see girl as girly right ? Make up, jewerly, dress, cat/dog or even bunny lovers, pastry and tea and why not celebrity crush ?

Of course you can be like that. Of course you aren't gonna play the "not like other girls" cards. You like baking, puppy, kitty, pretty dress, make up; and all of that at your own level.

But you are also a woman. And a woman need to fight back in this terrible world ; some since they are girl. So you took fight classes, kravmaga lesson, self defense lessons. Anything to beat ass down the ground. You are training two hours a day- four days a week. Your body isn't showing it that much, but you can fight and win. Your body is strong. Your are fierce. A menace to society.

Author note : reminder that this point of view of the boyz and they attitude is M Y point of view, and it's mine only. If you don't agree, don't engage. Any disrespectfull comment would lead to a block. All character are aged up. So if you don't feel comfortable with any scenario just block and ignore.

PS : I'm sorry, but I guess you can directly read who are my favorites one and,,, sorry not sorry eheh... Anyway ! I hope you'll have a good reading ! Planning to write for more of the boys, so hit me up if you have any more idea of who you wanna see eheh i might think about it,,

Baji

Would be an ass about it to tease you.

"Oh Kitten wanna fight?" "If you want I'll let you win" "oh I'm so scared of you", he'll tease you to death I swear

He is the tipycall "boy will be boy" about it

But he is also a feral Meow himself after all, and you always play the mistress in need for fun since you know him in highschool, and he'll always play the "savior prince" for the joke - don't take it bad tho he is a full feminist.

So it's been YEARS he is the one protecting you (and liking it).

So let's say he would NEVER guess what you are capable of

It happen that someday you are out by yourself at night. When you don't feel like staying in. Your boy finish his day late at the petshop, so you often wonder alone until he send you a text saying he is free. Then you answer to tell him to meet you at the nearest 24/24 supermarket to get biscuit and eat it somewhere cool to watch the stars.

And when you are lost in the aisle, wondering if he would preferer Pocky's, Granola's or Oreo's, you can hear someone enter the shop. Nothing too weird. The cashier don't even look him. It's around 10P.M now and you phone didn't ring from any kind of answer from your boy.

You kneel down to check some biscuit and decide for some oreos for your boyfriend when you feel someone passing right behind you. When you get up, you turn around to see nobody. But the cold chill running down your spine isn't lying.

No need to fear. You can fight back.

Without turning around, you get up and go to the drink aisle. You are ready to grab fruit juice for Baji (Redbull and shit like that a prohibiden for him, he is too much energic for that) and a Coffee for you since you are getting a little bit tired.

Once again that chill coming back. You can feel a cold ice picking throught your neck, lifting your hairs from anxiety. When you turn to check around, you see a black jacket fadding away in the next aisle. You decided to follow it to check on who the fuck is following you but cross nobody. The shop seems empty except from you and the cashier.

A second after, the door of the shop ring, letting you know he's gone.

Thankfully.

You then go checking out, paying for you stuff. The cashier is completly off and sloppy. He seems walksleeping at this point.

Once it finished you say goodbye and go wait outside in front of the storefront.

Five minutes pass, and finally you see some mouvement from a shadow afar. You didn't saw it before since your eyes are simply getting used to the darkness. But now you can finally see throught the darkness and realize someone had been staring at you. A large and tall guys is standing against a broken lamppost facing you. The big hoodies hide half his face, but you can feel he is staring right at you. His gaze pierce trhought your clothes and you hate that deeply.

To not get in trouble you decided to ignore him. Less you interact, better you feel. Typical reaction right ? But visibly it do not stop that asshole to bother you. And in a minute he is catcalling you.

"What'a cute girl's doing late in the night ?"

You don't want to answer, to give attention. Ignoring things often work when it's about catcalling. But after three "Hey" and a "I'm talking to you !" you can clearly see him getting annoyed and moving on his feet, walking toward you.

"Don't move closer, you shout at him but he don't listen. He continue to move toward you

"I'm warning you, don't come crying right after.

"When a man is talking to you, you must answer you ungratefull bitch."

Your shoulders tense by hearing the final insult that made you balance your cool from boiling rage. You aren't in the mood right now to do some fuss. You just wanted to wait for your man to come pick you up. You just wanted to eat biscuit and talk about shit. But visibly the destiny choosed otherwise. This cunt is obligating you to teach him some lesson.

So you put down your grocery bags down the ground. You push your feet in front taking a fight and solid position, fist up your face. You look him up and down while he is lifting his eyebrow in a surprises expression right a few few feets away.

"Move closer and I'll break your both knees, you spit."

The shinny sign of the 24/7 right behind you glow enought for you to see his faces now. He is grinning, looking down at you.

Your breath is so loud from you getting anxious that you don't even paid attention to the fadding sound of the motorcycle from afar. The only focus right now is the tall man taking one step forward while you order him to not do it. Leading to a lot of things happening to a matter of a minute.

Baji arriving on his bike, putting a foot down a meter away from you just kicking the guy in face with a very strong foot kick. He is almost fleeing away while the cashier, from the other side of the window glasses, is watching the full scene jaw wide open.

But your boyfriend don't even bother for you. Seeing you throwing a hight kick in a large guy is very impressive, and he is really excited about it, but he isn't the type of guys showing it right away on his face or exclaming it. He just pass right behind you to bend over the grocery bag while you put your feet down. Baji didn't wanted to bother you, liking the show you are giving. You only realized he is here a few second later, scare of a presence behind you, once you wake up from your anxiety after seeing your opponent down the ground.

" Baji ?!" You jump away. "When did you arrive?? "

The concerned one is half his head on the bag. He lift it up once he hear his name, the little box of orange juice already open sipping on it.

"You're an angel, thank for the snack I were so thirsty !"

You sigh, rolling your eyes. Both of you then got up on his bike before he drive you somewhere where you can climb on a rooftop, under the shinnong moonlight.

He then process to talk :

"That was pretty impresive.

"What'ya mean, you ask with a Pocky's in the mouth.

"Your kick. You throw him away on the ground in only ONE kick ?! So cool !!" He smile right at you. " So you can actually fight?

"I told you already !

"My girl's a fighter!" He smirk. "If I would have knew for all thoses years I would had let you fight for me ! Shoulda fight you one day to test you.

"Gotta kick your'ass." You laught, he laught too, leaning his head on your shoulder.

Draken

He would trust your words, but still unconsciously would need to see it to belive you fully.

He would made fun of you from time to time like "Big girl wanna fight." and thoses shit.

After all you'll be his rock and he would mostly see you being soft for him. Kisses, cuddle, papouille, massage.

You would spend most of the time on the side, letting himself getting involved in fight simply because you trust him, and it seems to please him to fight.

From the time going on, your dynamic would be mostly Big Boy with Soft girl things. He is the scary dog privilege and you would love that (especially once he got his dark hairs, making him look more badass)...

Until one day when some guys gathered around you two. At first Draken told you to back off, that he would took care of it. And you listened. You trust him and his strenght.

But they were too much, and some were stronger than he thought ; and they had weapon. Baseball bat and that jeez shit. They were douchbag that would use any method to win against him, Draken the old higher up from the Toman, to the point they were four mans jumping on your boyfriend to block him ; each one on his arm, the two others pulling his hairs, kicking his legs to put him on his knees.

That is when you decided to enter the fight.

Despite them being douch, they didn't even paid attention to you, letting you time to prepare yourself. You tight your hairs in a small bun, zip your jacket to the top, stretch a little before coming in. You take a step back and jump on your feet, running toward the group. In a big jump you throw a big kick in a guy's back, making him fall on the ground, dragging Draken with him, leading the three others to break they position.

Once you touch the ground, you bend your knee, lift your fist in front of your face to take a defense position. You are facing a guy who sems a little surprised to see a woman in a fight ; thanks for you because it mean he isn't prepare to fight. So it easier for you to throw him a punch right in his nose, breaking it as the same time from your own strenght.

At the moment his head back from the punch, you threw your knee in his groin, making his full body gettin tense from the pain. And finally you grab his face to smash it against your other knee. Some blood sparkle on your tight and your skirt but at this point you don't care. A last kick to push him away that you turn to see his partner looking at you.

Draken is beating up the second guys standing up so you decided to take care of the last one. You throw him a kick that he dodge, but he wasn't waiting for the second one right after. He fall right in his head, making him K.O in one kick.

"Dolly, you can hear Draken's from behind. You put your hairs back to face him all smillying.

"Yes ?

"Dolly, when did you learn that ?

"I told you i can fight.

"I didn't thought fight like "fightinh like a godess" for god's sake !"

At first you didn't realized the compliment he made you. But once it hit your brain you smile even more.

"Thank you babe."

And in a minute he lift you to put you on his shoulder like a potatoes bag.

"Needa go back home, I want to learn more about your skills Doll."

Mikey

Mikey would never have truly trust you to be able to fight ; he is the protector, the invisible Mikey. HE would be the one protecting you and not the other way around. But you don't see it badly since he act like that with everybody around him.

Mikey litteraly grab you to be his side quest partner in the Toman, and you accepted it.

You are his cuddle pillow, his papouille maker. You are his soft side for whenever he don't feel like getting up in the morning.

You are the one looking after him most often when Draken don't do it. You are as childish as him when you want, but also responsible when it needed to.

You are one of thoses who helped him his whole life when he wadn't feeling like himself. Your years spent by his side until the adult life helped him being more stable, and strong.

He saw you as a treasure at this point, and decided to keep you close him at any time he can ; he isn't physically scaring but let's say you could go around a lot of part of tokyo without being bothered since people would know you are Mikey's precious treasure ; and that the Bonten would always keep an eyes on you. At 27 years olds you are the most powerfull woman in the darken industry.

It happened when you where wandering around with Mikey. You were walking around Shibuya, taking any turns when you'll felt like. You were looking for a store to buy snack ; or was it an excuse to stay around together more?

Anyway. You were both just casually walking, your hands around Mikey's one in his pocket. It's been a while since Mikey isn't that talkative blond furry ball, but you don't mind less. You are the one talking more about your boring normals work days from your daily life.

Because of course, Mikey can be the leader of the delinquency of Tokyo than he wouldn't want you to be directly a part of it.

So silent Mikey it would be.

Walking next to you.

Until his eyes caught up something.

From afar is a little supermarket, lost in a narrow alley. It's crooked, it's dark, only the light of the window is showing some life sign, but it's still here.

And Mikey's not afraid. Despite anything, that boy's always arms with you around, and at the end he is literally a walking weapon. So weird dark narrow street? Pf.

Plus, what got him is that this particulary market shop had display on the window a specific snack you both enjoyed to eat when you were younger. It's stopped to be sell from most of the city around Tokyo a few years ago, and it both made you a little sad since it was one of your fav things. So seeing it now dragged Mikey's attention.

The black haired, long tired eyes, chef Tokyo's délinquant instantly became that light blond furry ball for a short instant. Looking down at you with that little smirk smile, you can feel his hands squeezing yours.

" Look, he says. Isn't it that thing we used to eat before??"

He drags you to the shop window to point it to you. But you weren't looking at the little box of biscuit, but mostly at the two heavy men's starring at you both form the other side. Your feminin side is screaming you to not come closer as they look both of you up and down multiples times. You can see them whispering things to each other.

" It's true it's been a while, you answer still not looking at what your boyfriend is pointing.

" We should get a box, or two.

" Why not looking up the internet later? It's late.." You feel like your boy is clueless about thoses two guys and your instinct is screaming you to run away at this poiny. Did they recognized him? You hope no.

" Why not now? We don't know if we can buy them online.

" Honey..

" Sugar?" He turn around to face you and lift up your chin. " Are you still afraid of thoses two gigantic men's starring down at us inside?"

At least he saw them. You sight, nodding.

" I'll tell you to do not fear world with me by your side. I saw them trying to impress the cashier. But I want thoses biscuit."

His eyes darken a little. He squeeze your hand into his, making you shiver. It's like his touch came from a reassuring warmest to a colder ice.

Your node again and follow him in the store to the aisle where the box package is. You can feel adrenaline through your veine while your boyfriend is casually looking around for his treat like nothing is important in life.

"Aren't you thirsty?" he finally say when he see a guy's from the corner of his eyes.

You node and change the aisle. You can see him walking toward the stranger right before you loose him from sight. You hear a few words like "Aren't you from the B-" but the slight ambiante music cut the words from your ears.

So you walk to the fruit juice section, looking at then while your mind wonder.

It wonder so much you forgot, and don't hear, the second guy. That one who saw you and couldn't keep an eyes out you. He stand behind you, putting a hand on your shoulder to grab it.

The sensation turn your fight mode instantly ON. And the adrenaline is now realased in your blood.

He made you turn around in a movment you decided to follow. At the moment you faced him, you just decide to crush his feets with yours so the first though he got is pain. Then you can step back and liberate yourself from his grip at the moment his attention is focusing on the pain and the insult he is profering about you.

He bend a little in an action to grab your hairs but you dodge. Both your closed fist are at your face level, and you just throw two hard punch one after the other righ on his noses. You can instantly see his noses bleed, hearing the craquing sound of it breaking. The guys just mumble something under his breath, not knowing what happening right now.

Then you throw the third and hardest punch in his stomach, making him bend in two. And in the tighest grip you just grab both his ears and smash your knee against his faces twices. You just want to be sure he is not gonna get on his feets soons.

When he felt on the floor, you make sure that he is far away from this world for the next few minutes. You wave your hand in front of the unconscious mans, tried to open his eyes only to fell on dark stoic pupil. He is hardly breathing but you can't even care about that.

" And you were the one being worried about thoses guys? "

Your boyfriend is waiting for you at the end of the aisle. He just got one box of biscuit under the armpit, the other already open.

" Do the boy know you can fight? " He then ask while coming toward you. You can see drip of blood on his faces and feets. You have some too, and he clean them off with the end of his jackets.

"I don't like that, he mumble. I don't want you getting involved and hurt.

" I can fight, you say firmly. I can fight and defend myself."

You brush off some of his black hairs from his eyes, putting them behind his ears.

" You don't have to worry, I'll protect you. " You smile. In a second, that smile you give him seems to bring a little bit of that old Mikey you knew.

" Anything interesting ? " He says , hugging you while putting his chin on your shoulder.

" Fruit juice, you say. I want sugar.

" Me too. "

Mitsuya

Mitsuya would have hear it once but would have forgot.

He is a gentleman who would protect you everytime. Even with his sweet face, he is a hot fighter.

If anybody bother you, he come right behind you and glare at anybody bothering you.

His punch are fast and he'll end the conflict in a second.

And you didn't wanted to put yourself under the spotlight. You'd rather leave the problem being closed by the former member of the Toman so nobody come right back.

With times passing, he became calmer tho. He mature and decided to end the conflict by just menacing people.

Most of the time it work. When it's not he use violence.

And less you see him fight, more you want to let him take the first step (okay, you are an easy woman and pretty boy fightint for you is a things that charm you,, after all you are with Mutsuya so ofc you like it)

So he never suspected once you could step on him so easily. He just grown up by your side admiring how you became without any suspcion of the menace you are :)

Except that day, when he learnt about it.

You were doing shopping with Mitsuya to look for stuff for a big project he had. And eventualy he propose you to come with him as a company, also knowing you'd like to rune errand in artistic shop for your own project too. He was a lot busy thoses days, so thoses time hanging out were a reason to see you. You both spent the whole ass day outside, tchating, holding hands, laughing, stretching as much time you could out of thoses rendezvous until it was time for both of you to go back to your own flat.

And you love so much thoses times...

Anyway, the things is that when Mitsuya is looking for things in big shops, he has the tendency to go around a little be too much. You often end up loosing him from you sight inbetween two shelves of furnitures. And today was that kind of day when you didn't felt like looking for him ; after all he is a boig boy, he can manage himself. So you just decided to let him go around at his own pace and wait for him outside the shop.

And instead of waiting for him doing while nothing, you decided to treat both of you and went grabbing something to drink for you and him. It took you at least twenty minutes; but when you came back he was still in looking at things. So as a respectfull person who not gonna enter somewhere with drinks, you waited outside for him, laying against the shop's wall.

Sadly, as a girl alone in the street, you weirdly attract others people attention when you stand for more than a minute ; especially from the opposite sex. Plus you are wearing a dress so let me tell you the gaze is on you no matter what.

"Hey girl! "

A guys approach you from somewhere, but you don't even dare to look up for him; too busy on your phone, looking at cat's videos on Twitter, earthub on blasting music. It's only when the shadow on that guys cast on you that you lift you head for a split second, nod it from left to right as a clear sign of "No", with a slight smile to stay polite and out of problems, as to give him a kind of a negative answer to his approch. And right before he can say something you just jump back into the recipe you were looking.

Usually when you do that to the guys, they just passed by, happy to get you looking up to them. They are attention seeker after all.

Weirdly this one didn't move after your answer. He.. Just...chooses to just... like... well, stand in front of you. Just like a picket. He is litteraly starring down at you, giving you creepy vibes. You realized it once your video turn your screen to black and it made you almost flinch, kind of scare of that big gaze he give you. When you lift your head up, you realized simply that he is simply playing the tomboy just by seeing he is proudly wearing a kind of gang vest or some shit.

He don't talk at all, just stare, until you took of one of your earthub off.

" I.. can.. help you.. Maybe ?" You ask, nonchallant.

" What are you doing here ? "

He talk to you using a tone of voice like if he know you from somewhere. Like that kind of tone that every girl could have spotted his intention ; trying to get something from you. Like something physical. Like.. your number and.. maybe more.

''Ugh, gross, you think for yourself. ,,

" I'm waiting for my boyfriend, you sight, saying it straightforward to put things clear. Usually saying you've got a boyfriend work to made them go away. Men don't respect women choices (and don't take "no" as an answer), but they sometimes respect other men "p R o P e R t Y " (ugh, even Mitsuya would find it disrespectull to call you like that, but it help understand the men point of view of women right ?). But today is not the day.

" Oh, we can just go grab a drink until he came back then. " You lift your cup of coffee you almost finish right in front of his face as a clear answer but he just continue : " Why so mean, girly ?

" I'm busy, you say. And not interested."

" Come one. He wouldn't know anything, i'm as quiet as a livingthomb. "

"Visibly you really wanna be one by acting like that, you mutter to yourself."

He lays a hand against the wall just next to your face, lining forward, maybe thinking he is in a kind of romantic movie or something ?

At this moment it enought, you just open the cup you are holding, getting his attention on it, and just throw the remaining on his face. It splash on you, making you sight, but it made him take a step backward.

" You slut ! " He shoted. " Why the fuck ?!

" I told you i wasn't interested in you. "

The guys look up on you, then his precious vest:

" Do you know what that logo mean ? , he point at the large logo on it.

" Leave me alone, come on don't play the big-dude attitude i'll beat your ass in a minute.

" Oh yeah ?" He smile too proudly.

In the shop, the screaming the guys just scream get the attention of everybody inside, especially your boyfriend. His first reflex is to quickly look around for you in case something happen to you (which was actually happening right outside the shop). But since he can't find you, he look up at the glass windows giving view on the street. And for his own horror scenario you are litterally facing a two-feet-long-and-large dude wearing a gang symbol, looking angry as hell and ready to punch you. So, let's be honnest, of course he just break the Usain Bolt speed record and rush to the door.

But just as he pass the door, the man was going to hit you with a musclar punch direct right on your face. However, bold of him to assume he could even touch a strain of hair from you. You dodge it pretty easily. After all this guys seems musclar but it's all apperance, and his reality he is slow.

In one step, you are on his side, a hand on his shoulder, giving your best knee hit in the stomach. You made him bend from the hit, spitting saliva as he realized quick how hard you hit.

With a hand, you made him look up to you:

"I hope you'll learn your lesson." Before you hit the back of his head with your elbow. It made him go right on the ground, hitting his faces hard on the concret. At this point everybody in the street is looking at you, making you embarassed for going that far on the confrontation.

But it's when you cross your boyfriend eyes that you can't contain your blush from coming out, making you hide your face with both your hands.

" The actual fuck Princess.. "

Yes, even Mitsuya is bluffed. He went off the shop both hands open at the sky, eyes wides. He shrugg out of surprise from what he see. You do the same, saying with an embarassed smile :

" I'm... Well... Surprise i guess ?

" Since when ? , he is so stunned.

" I told you, but guess you weren't listening ? "

Takashi scratchs the back of his head, his eyes looking up as he is trying to remember that moment. The only things that came up his minds is just you talking about taking class of self defenses but he would'nt have never guess you could be that fast and efficient.

" I'm reassure then, he turn back.

" What ?

" I love so much when girl can kick my ass, he joke. Gotta get back what i took, and then we'll head up home. I need to see more. "

That one little wink he is giving you can made you understand he really want to see more.

Chifuyu

This small boy is feral too. But it doesn't change the fact he wouldn't trust you being as much feral as him.

He would tease you. And often you'll both ended up in a fight in your bed. Or in your flat.

Nothing too serious tho, just a few bruises from rolling around like childs, so he would never had seen you really fighting.

He would always put himself first in any conflict ; even verbal one.

Nobody would touch his princess.

And it would still the same even by getting older together.

When it's about you being in problem, he would always put himself first. (and would always ask for that one more ketchup sauce when you both went get macdonald after work)

So the day he would see you fight he would fall from hight.

He see you as a puppy/kitten.

But gosh, let's be honnest : he would enjoy the show so bad (and be turned on so bad too but sssht).

You have a tight shift with Chifuyu. Since he finished his studies and gotten his job, it can happen that he works also early in the morning, just like you. So it mean that both of you meet each other this morning, but in a windows of ten minutes max before both leading to work.

And it also happen that sometimes ten minutes is, of course, not enough to know each other's mood. But when Chifuyu can read it throught and see that it's not gonna be your day, he always came picking you up at your work at the end of your shift. He brings you your fav pastry before you both eat it on your way back home. But when he can't readi it throught, it became something else ; This happen once, and thankfully he didn't pick you up. You were an horrible mess and needed a good and long bath to be at least able to maitain a conversation.

And that same scenario same to repeat itself today... Except that.. well.. today have it particularity.

Today isn't your day. You miss to put your alarm, leading you having no time to prepare yourself correctly or even eat something nice. But the of all is that you miss Chifuyu's "good morning". That little "good morning" with a little cuddle kiss and smile. Thoses puppy eyes saying "I'll see you later tonight i love you". You missed it.

This is the worst of all.

So saying you head up your work place in a bad mood is really an euphemism. You are explosive. Ready to punch anybody in the throat until you can have your "good morning miss". Tho, sadly for the world, it would be not before 2 P.M.

But despite that horrible mood,the beginning of the morning wasn't that bad. Your colleague are here to cheer you up and a lot of good costumers came by the shop and we're nice. It almost made you relativize...

However, of course, deeply of course, every day have it assholes, somewhere in the world. Every. Damn. Day. Everyday someone have to deal with some monumentary bullshits. And everyday was your war, your day to deal with costumer service.

It began with a : " Do you work here? " while you are clearly wearing the bright pink uniforme of the shop with written an enormous "STAFF" on the back.

" Hello. It seems like, you answer turning yourself to de the costumer."

It's a man, late 30's. The kind of guys that, if you're a woman, you can read he is a mysogynisy pricks, and an asshole on top of everything you know?

The guys look up and down to you. He point you something like a five years old would do it and order you to find him whatever he want from it.

At this point, the whole package this man bring made you stop listening. That is true, most of costumer services turn they listening skill right after the magic world "Hello" which mean if you don't say it they won't listen.

"Hello, you repeat yourself, hopping the man would understand his lack of skills in social behavior. But he just ended up repeating himself. No" hello", "please", or "Thank you".

"Hello." third time you are saying it, knowing now after that you'll have to deal with the attitude you are giving.

"Are you kidding me or something?, the man spit.

"I mean, I'm here for you to ask things, but the minimum is an 'hello' you see my point?

" How are you talking to me? I'm asking you something.

"And I'm asking politeness.

"Costumer is King. You are supposed to give me what I want."

As far as you remember, the discussion began like it. After it, it was history and just enraging. The discussion wasn't one at the end and he ended up being taken away by security, screaming he would be waiting for you at the end of your shift.

And sure enought, even tho you wouldn't care and forgot about his treat, he did wait. At the moment you put a feet down the street, he was here.

Now what he didn't know is that, usually, you change yourself up from head to toes (even your hairs) to look completely different from what you look like as a seller. However you didn't change anything today. You are just wearing a basic sweater on top of your uniforme so that guys can recognized you if he look up for you.

And it was your plan. The plan to teach him a lesson if he dare came to you once more.

But before heading out. Before giving him an ounce of your time, you needed something nice. So you indulgy offer yourself the time to bought your morning breakfast, that famous coffee, orange juice, tea or whatever you look to have in the morning that day. You walk outside, almost forgetting what was waiting for you until...

" Hey bitch, he is walking directly toward you, pushing people out his way.

" Hey hoe, you answer only lifting your pinkie to him.

Your answer did not please him. And at the moment he is close enought, he instantly throw a punch at you. As if he was thinking that is was the best things to do... ''Big brain move i see,, you thought to yourself.

Of course you were waiting for that kind of reaction tho. Because what that guy don't know is that you lived most of your time on this shitty earth with stupid gang members adoring to beat themself up for fun. So you dodge down, put a hand on the ground and kick up in the air with all your force. Right under the chin.

You can heard his teeth doing a family gathering before he fall back on the ground. The crown directly around you stopped walking at the moment the loud noise of his jaws clapping resonnate. In a kick you putted him down so fast that not even a single person could get out they phone to film what happened.

Not even your boyfriend who was just coming toward you. Chifuyu planned from getting you from work when he saw your text " Late to work this morning. Didn't even get a '' good morning love '' :'( ". So as the best boy he cames at the end of your shift with your favorite drink and some pastry to cheer you up.

Coffee that he almost lets fall right afterseeing you kicked out a twice-your-size-men with only one kick (since when are you THAT flexible ??? A skill he would need you to explore with him,,) Because D A M N did he know he would be spectator of you kicking down a 7 ft tall man just with one kick. Did Mickey train you or something ?

Nothing to say that he was just turn on by this situation.

You can see him running right at you, thinking it was somebody else. You almost punch his face at the moment he stopped. Both his hands are full so he can't grab your shoulder to shake you up.

" SINCE WHEN ?!" He histeracly scream.

" Honey ?!

" Since when ?! Did Mikey train you ?! Why didn't I knew you could just blast off dude like that ?!"

You gesture him to calm down, but it's too late and everybody is looking at the scene. So you just grab his arms and drag him away. Once you are afar from the movment, you both sat somewhere.

" I told you, you say with a small voice. I took class-"

You can't even finish your sentence that Chifuyu's just kissed you. When he break it, you can see his eyes sparklying.

" You are FAN-TA-STIC!! Not saying you weren't or else, but DAMN cupcake you just blast him off the ground just like that- it was so cool !"

His smile say for him how much he is admiring you right now. Despite him being a well good fighter, it's seems you unlock a new look for you in his eyes.

" You'll need to show me more ! " He point his picky finger to you, holding your both cup of whatever drink you love. And you don't care that you just had one, the one he bring are always so much better.

" Be a good boy and I'll show you, you wink."

It's almost as if you could see your golden retriever boy wingling his tail at this point. And your ego loved that.

#tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyorev x reader #draken x you #draken imagine #draken headcanons #mikey x reader #mikey headcanon #chifuyu headcanons #chifuyu x reader #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya headcanons #baji headcanons #baji x reader #chifuyu x you #meaty4spicedbuns #meaty4spicedbuns imagine

[cinderspots]

Im here plotting a murder while i major law, ironic, suggest me more i might do it sooner or later, also i have a fan art in progress would you like to be a meow meow on this?

Consider: Actual Gasoline with redbull

Going to four different coffee shops and ordering the most caffeinated drink on the menu and pouring them together before chugging it

Drinking pure vanilla syrup (deadly)

Yes I would love to be a meow meow

#cinderasks

[yeetlegay]

I respect and support your TW request and therefore: tw alcohol/drinking

Watching ep13 the moment I came back from party was certainly a decision. Was it good decision? Yes, tumblr didn't have time to spoil things for me. Was it bad decision? Yes, I forgot how taking shots and drinking redbull vodka turnes me into emotional mess and therefore I had the urge to cry constantly throughout the episode.

Sad meow-meow Vegas (affectionate) shot me right through the heart. Poor child Pete and his identity crisis and complete dissociation from humanity was a knife through my lungs. Pete knocking out our meow-meow (again, affectionate) and then desparately trying to escape knocked me out. And Pete deciding to lie to Porsche oh god… Our sweet child has been through a lot. The scenes in which we see them missing each other and then having brief reunite at the back of Yok's bandaged my wounds and made me feel all emotions known to human kind. I felt like I went through 25 divorces in span of 10 minutes. And finally, Vegas and Porsche (ah yes I got what I wanted during the Tawan era, I know it's not fully my deranged ship that sank before it sailed, but I am more than satisfied to see them work together and Porsche being like allow me to slap some sense in you) running away on the bike and Kinn and Pete running after them just made me so sad… KP are in a messy place because Porsche is going through a lot and VP are in a messy place as well because their relationship is scandalous because of minor/major family things and on top of that they are both trying to figure themselves out as individuals and as a couple, accept that what they feel is valid and solve childhood trauma at the same time. I just want to pat all of their heads and tell them it's going to be okay, they'll figure it all out.

Lestat will now proceed to rest in a dark coffin until ep14.

REDBULL VODKA??? GWORL. I had to go to a party last night and act like a human being for like 5 hours straight so I feel your pain DEEPLY.

I’m not gonna lie, the Vegas and Porsche scenes kinda hit??? I like them as bitchy reluctant allies so much (although I still think Porsche deserves to know what Vegas did in ep 4 - maybe Vegas will admit it and apologize in the finale when they’re on their little murder mystery adventure?). I can imagine post-canon when VegasPete are an item and everyone comes to the main house for scrabble night or smth and Porsche and Vegas just bitch at each other the whole night while Kinn and Pete roll their eyes.

Everybody is just going through everything at once Lestat, I wanna give all of them a bear hug (or a head pat for Pete since he’s sore from the torture and all :/)

#kinnporsche #why don’t queue stay #yeetle asks #vegaspete #cw sa mention #cw drinking #lestat tag

[readbyred]

i saw the creepy pasta rec post and i havent been in that fandom since like, when i was 9-10? its been a while but i faintly remember characters like Ben, Toby, Eyeless Jack, Jane the Killer and Slenderman. I have no idea who to reccomend bcs ur type in f/os is in a spectrum where some are on the side of being considered the closest to normal and the other died/suffered a horrible fate, probably couldve killed people or whatever poor little meow meow thing they do but both can and definitely coexist in the middle of having mommy/daddy or generational trauma issues all of which i find very amusing, but! its creepypasta and surely ill find someone in there who can either fit both methinks

I’m glad you find my immaculate taste and quest to find love as a whole amusing /nm /lh

It’s less about criminal behaviour (though it happens a lot) and more tied to other factors. Every baby girl I have is a driven guy, like. Octavian would give anything to b important & respected, dies bc that desire leads him 2 such instability that he would sacrifice anything he has to b a hero to his ppl. Or Tyler. Who is both a golden retriever and a killer (2 b fair though he is not opposed, he doesn’t control it, he was corrupted by an outside force. And hate for his father-). Also you know abt that Jared-adjacent subtype. If they are a league of leg.ends player living off of redbull I’m charmed. All the Reddit users. Overcompensating. Obnoxious. Ideal

Idk them too well (like for now everyone is fair game 2 me I haven’t picked) but most likely you are right. Knowing the source there is someone who would fit on my list

#girls I like r also driven just in a different way #like Luz who risks her life for others a lot #or Mirabel #though like. Linda and Azula and Catra and some others kind of fit in the general type #my little guys r either serious and dramatic or some obnoxious Redditor gamer #it’s a spectrum #bonus points if greasy and grimy :3 #but not necessary #💌

[ryuzakemo128]

Peaky Blinders Incorrect Quotes (Part Fifteen)

(Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine/ Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve  / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen )

(Dividers by this person here)

Thomas: Why are you on fire? Red: This is just how my day is going.

———————————-

Red: I hate you. Thomas: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

———————————-

Thomas: Remain CALM! *slaps Red multiple times*

Thomas: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Red: But I'm a vegan. Thomas: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

———————————-

Thomas: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU! Red: Okay, can you do the dishes? Thomas: No!

———————————-

Thomas: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined. Red: Heck. Thomas: You're on thin fucking ice. Thomas: Oh no-

Red: Hey, can you do me a favor? Thomas: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. Red: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? Thomas: Oh, no, I do. Red: Well, what is it? Thomas: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

———————————-

Thomas: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Red: What the hell!? Thomas: Oh, sorry, my bad. Thomas, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Red, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

———————————-

Thomas: Stay foxy. Red: Die lonely.

Thomas: Where are your parents? Red: What are parents? Thomas: That’s just about the saddest thing I've ever heard.

———————————-

Red: I don’t mean to be rude— Thomas: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

———————————-

Thomas: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Red: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Thomas: ... Thomas: You mean ring bearER, right? Red: ... Thomas: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Thomas: Holy shit, Red, do you know what this means?! Red: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

———————————-

Red: *Holding up a picture of a seemingly young anime girl* WHO IS SHE?! IS SHE TWELVE?! Thomas: No! She's a thousand years ol- Red: *Cocks shotgun* Thomas: NO! NOOOOOOOOOO-!

———————————-

Thomas: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! Red: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus. Thomas: Stop.

Red: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Thomas: Please, just say fuck.

———————————-

Red: So, I've been thinking Thomas- Thomas: That's dangerous.

———————————-

Thomas: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Red: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Thomas: Pick a card, any card. Red: Fine. Thomas: Wait, that's my credit card! Red: You said any card.

———————————-

Thomas: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. Red: All I drank was Redbull! Thomas: How many? Red: Eighteen.

———————————-

Thomas: Fuck you. Red: No u. Thomas: I'm down. Red: You're like 2, what the fuck- Thomas: I AM NOT 2!

Red: Let’s write Thomas a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...

———————————-

Thomas: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Red meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

———————————-

Thomas: I fell— Red: From heaven? Thomas: No, I literally fell— Red: In love with me the moment you saw me? Thomas: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Red: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Thomas: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Red: Thomas: Red: ...Please, go back to bed.

———————————-

Red: *chokes on something* Thomas: Jeez, Red, don't die on us. Red: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

———————————-

Red: What are you in the mood for? Thomas: World domination. Red: That's a bit ambitious. Thomas: You are my world. Red: Aww... Thomas: Red: Thomas: Red: OH.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders modern au #peaky blinders au #peaky fookin blinders #peaky fucking blinders #peaky blinder #peaky blinders incorrect quotes #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #Red (Female Reader)

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

Incorrect Quotes Part Infinity

Eighth: You know guys, sometimes I feel like The Grand Inquisitor doesn’t take me seriously enough. Fifth: “Sometimes”? Shiri: “Enough”? Eighth: Shiri: Change that to ‘at all’ and we’ll talk.

The Grand Inquisitor: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Shiri, nodding: So that way when you criticize them, you’re a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. The Grand Inquisitor: That’s my girl.

Fifth: You need to stop swearing so much Seventh: Shut the fuck up Fifth: Yeah, that’s not how you do it Seventh: Alright sorry. It’s just that it’s hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it Fifth: Now now, don’t be like that. Just replace the swear words with ‘beep’ and you’ll be fine, Seventh: Shit the beep up. Fifth: Seventh: SHUT DAMMIT I MEANT SHUT

Shiri: They say that the most valuable things cost nothing. The Grand Inquisitor: They also say that being cheap is an annoying trait, so don’t overuse that excuse.

Seventh: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Fifth meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Fifth: We call that a traumatic experience. Fifth, turning to Shiri: Not a “bruh moment”. Fifth, turning to Reva: Not “sadge”. Fifth, turning to The Grand Inquisitor: And DEFINITELY not an “oof LMAO”.

Fifth: Reva! This soup is flaccid! Reva: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

The Grand Inquisitor: WHO ATE MY BREAD The Grand Inquisitor: I’M GOING TO FUCKING K- Shiri: I did The Grand Inquisitor: kiss you and buy some more, you haven’t been eating anything today Shiri. *walking away* Shiri: Shiri: He's gone Eighth Eighth, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!

Fifth: I want a bf. Eighth: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

The Grand Inquisitor: How does one turn their emotions off? Shiri: Okay, so first go to settings. Shiri: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. The Grand Inquisitor: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

Eighth, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Shiri: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Shiri, to Seventh: You have room temperature IQ. Seventh: What’s room temperature IQ? The Grand Inquisitor: 73°. Seventh: Oh, okay. Seventh: How much is that in IQ?

Seventh: "I lost a bet" Seventh: The second-most ominous phrase in existence Eighth: What’s the first? Seventh: "Let’s make a bet"

Fifth: I feel so burnt out. Seventh: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon. Fifth: Are you gonna... assassinate me? Seventh: Well not if you’re expecting it.

Seventh: I don’t remember that. Reva: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door? Seventh: ...No. Reva: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles? Seventh: Not especially, no. Reva: It was in between those two things.

Shiri: Are you listening to me? Fifth: *nods* Shiri: What did I just say? Fifth: *nods* Shiri: ...

Fifth: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Reva: I only like dark humor. Fifth, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Reva: Fifth: An IMPASTA!

Shiri: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. Eighth: All I drank was Redbull! Shiri: How many? Eighth: Eighteen.

Eighth: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos. Eighth: Oh no, where did it go? Seventh: EIGHTH WHAT THE FUCK?!

Seventh: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... The Grand Inquisitor, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Seventh: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I’m really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Eighth: The Grand Inquisitor, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee! Reva: Rebuke? Is that a word? Eighth: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions! Reva: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

The Grand Inquisitor: *closes a cabinet* *a crash is heard behind the cabinet door* Reva: What was that? The Grand Inquisitor: The sound of someone else's problem.

Eighth: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here. Eighth: And if you don't well then fuck you. Eighth: I'm looking at you, Reva, you jealous mop.

The Grand Inquisitor, looking at a selfie of Shiri’s: I hate this photo. Shiri: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. The Grand Inquisitor: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. Shiri: Up to kindness.

Fifth: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Fifth. The Grand Inquisitor: But you're Fifth. Fifth: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

Fifth: Would you slap The Grand Inquisitor- Eighth: Yes. Fifth: I didn't even finish! Eighth: Sorry, continue. Fifth: Would you slap The Grand Inquisitor for 10 dollars? Eighth: I would do it for free. The Grand Inquisitor: Rude...

Fifth: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.

Reva: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery! Eighth: This unmitigated poppycock? Fifth: Extravagant hogwash! Reva: Okay, stop.

Seventh: I don’t mean to be rude— Shiri: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

Shiri: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. The Grand Inquisitor: What are you saying? Say it again. Shiri: Tubberware. The Grand Inquisitor: Say it again. Slow. Shiri: Tubberware. The Grand Inquisitor: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. Shiri: Tub. The Grand Inquisitor: Wrong. Shiri: What do you mean, wrong? The Grand Inquisitor: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. Shiri: What are you talking about? The Grand Inquisitor: Tupperware. Tupper. Shiri: It’s tupper! The Grand Inquisitor: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. Shiri: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

Fifth: Eighth... Eighth: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

The Grand Inquisitor: I wish I was a dinosaur. Fifth: Why? Cause they're big and scary? The Grand Inquisitor: Because they're dead.

Shiri: Yeah, I don’t like people. Reva: Oh, well now that’s not fair Shiri. Have you met all of them? Shiri: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Seventh: I choose to waive that right! Seventh: *screaming*

Fifth: We are not mad. We are just disappointed. Shiri: No, we are mad. Fifth: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide. Shiri: No, we’re not! Fifth: I am not a mind reader, Shiri!

Seventh: Mint is just cold spicy. The Squad: ... Reva: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy* The Grand Inquisitor: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Fifth: No, Grand Inquisitor. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. The Grand Inquisitor: No, that’s not part of it— Fifth: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Eighth: I would want to live with no legs. Fifth: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Eighth. You don’t do anything. The Grand Inquisitor: All right, well, let's get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. *Fifth pumps frantically* Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Fifth: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? Seventh: How’s that gonna help you? Fifth: I will divide and then count to it. Seventh: Right. The Grand Inquisitor: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Fifth: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

Fifth: What’s your name? Shiri, whispering to Reva: Can I tell him my real name? Reva: No! Shiri: I’m… Reva. Reva, whispering to themselves: The ONE TIME she gets my name right…

*Shiri teaching Eighth to drive and taking Seventh along for the ride* Shiri: That's a pothole. To the left! Eighth: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* Seventh, sticking her face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. Eighth: I don't think that's how the song goes. Shiri, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. Eighth: Country Roads. Seventh: To the place. Eighth and Seventh in unison: I Belong! Shiri, crying harder: What the fuck?

Shiri: What's wrong with you? Reva: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Eighth, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Shiri: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Shiri: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. Eighth: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? Shiri: I like the way you think.

Eighth: Hey Fifth, Tjust broke my seashell lamp. Fifth: Neat. I’m gonna die alone. Eighth: Okay, you win.

Seventh: I’m a bad person, I’m a very bad person, I’m a horrible person. The Squad: Seventh: No you’re not, Seventh! We still love you, Seventh!

Eighth: Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you. Reva: Thanks, Eighth! Eighth: It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.

Seventh & Fifth: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Seventh: We need an adult! Fifth: Seventh, you are an adult! Seventh: We need an adultier adult! Get Shiri!

Fifth: Can I bother you for a second? The Grand Inquisitor: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Seventh on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh. Seventh on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Eighth: So, I've been thinking Shiri- Shiri: That's dangerous.

Fifth: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Eighth: But did I make you cry? Fifth: *cries on the spot* Eighth: ...Shit.

Shiri: So I’m the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger? Seventh: Do I get to pick the finger?

The Grand Inquisitor: Trouble at 2 o'clock! Reva: *looks down at her watch* Reva: Now, how do you know that?

Shiri: Well, has Eighth been wrong before? The Grand Inquisitor: How wide are we willing to open this up?

Eighth: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? The Grand Inquisitor: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you. Eighth: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better. The Grand Inquisitor: ...

Fifth: Define “dream”. Eighth: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. Seventh: That’s too dark!

Reva: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times. Shiri: You mean you stabbed them? Reva: They ran into my knife.

Reva, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Seventh, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. The Grand Inquisitor: What the fuck are you guys doing? Reva: Playing systemic oppression.

Shiri, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Eighth: Blue flavor! Shiri: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Eighth: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Shiri: Blue is not a flavor! Eighth: BLUE FLAVOR!

Shiri: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice. Reva: Sacrifice? I nominate Seventh. Seventh: Wait, what? Reva: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue. Seventh: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world! Shiri: It's not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

Shiri: Why would anyone want to harm Seventh? The Grand Inquisitor: Maybe because they met her?

Shiri: I have locked Reva in a cage designed by her own art. Oh, she has been well and truly hoist by her own petard. Seventh: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that. Shiri: I’m blackmailing her. Seventh: Oh, happy days.

Eighth, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! Reva: Moose Tracks is good! Fifth: What the fuck is that!? Reva: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- Fifth: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. Eighth and Reva: what? Fifth: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? Eighth: You done now? Fifth: Yeah ok. Eighth and Reva: ... Fifth: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

The Grand Inquisitor: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Reva: I thought the animals might be lonely.

Fifth: I'm not that stupid! Eighth: Fifth, you literally ate the wax from a babybel. Fifth: SHIRI TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Fifth: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer. Seventh: You're right, Fifth.. Violence can't be the answer. Fifth: Correct, Seventh. Now, on to the next lesso- Seventh: Violence is the question. Seventh: And the answer is yes! Fifth: Seventh, no!!

#inquisitorius #incorrect quotes #shiri stuff

[gaypiratebrainrot]

4, 23, 28~

thanks for asking!

4. what is a word that makes you go absolutely feral? there are a lot that make me go feral in a good way, usually when i can't think of the perfect word i need and then suddenly it comes to me. but there are also so many porn words that make me feral in a bad way, like nipple and all nipple related words, pretty much all the language for describing assholes--for someone who loves to write porn, i really hate the language available to me to do so.

23. describe the physical environment in which you write. for years and years, i have written in bed (i spend a lot of time in bed in general). usually i'm slumped with my laptop on my lap, empty redbull cans and used tissues and dirty plates in a pile on one side, my notebook on the other. i used to write to music constantly, so my big noise-canceling headphones are nearby, but lately i've been writing in silence which is really weird for me.

28. who is the most delightful character you've ever written? why? writing stede and ed has been an absolute blast, they are both so much fun to write, i think because they're both so silly and stupid and insane (/extremely affectionate). like, when i come up with ridiculous ideas, their characterizations can really hold up while enacting those ridiculous ideas, and that's just a delightful imagination space to inhabit. also, shout out to andrew scott's james moriarty, who i wrote for one fic but also stole the skin/characterization for an original character in my first novel (years and years ago). he was my little meow meow before the term existed and i will always have love for his tragic amoral insanity.

#asks #writer ask game

[mangoposts]

anyways i’m craving a coconut red bull

Same an ice cold coconut redbull with two shots of grey goose Meow

#🥭

[inun4ki]

come back to bed. ❜ [ming]

The sound of her voice caused him to freeze, deathly still at his desk, fountain pen bleeding away on some corner of a drafted letter. He flexed his fingers, cocking his head over his shoulder to cast a tired glance her way - he'd no intention of going back to sleep, crushed redbull can resting beside his arm, heart rate jumpy. His letter to Yaga and the completion of his reports came first this time, pressure from the higher ups tweaking his every nerve.

He'd been lazy since he returned from his last mission, happy to lose himself in the scent of her skin and the softness of her hair, but he couldn't afford to procrastinate any further. It was unlike him, he'd set a precedent - no choice but to play by the rules. So he patiently waited for her to close her eyes again, nestle herself back into silken bedsheets and pillows, before turning his head forward and continuing to work on his draft.

It wasn't entirely guiltless, but she should sleep anyway, and take comfort in knowing he hadn't left in the night again. He'd set a few precedents, he supposed, often succumbing to the burdens of his work. Such was his nature, ever the workaholic, but it'd left her alone in more ways than one. The tip of his pen cut through the parchment halfway through the letter, creating a long notch in the center. It irked him, had him palming his forehead, tempted to throw his pen. All the little details of the last shitshow, of all the bodies, stalled again.

"Ara..." he sighed bitterly, glaring in his exhaustion out of his open window, hoping Muushi would meow and hop up onto the ledge. But no such thing came to pass, and so he started again, eventually falling asleep with his chin in his hand.

#死/// Inquiries. #死/// Another Life With You. #/ bad husband. #/ i forget if this is from a meme

[kinghamilton]

Hello, how are you doing ? For the driver opinion bingo, could you please do Yuki Tsunoda, Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc and Sebastian Bettel ? Thank you!!

Below the cut so I don't spam the dash krkr

Yuki:

He's a cutie patootie and DOESN'T deserve all the shit he gets. I hope he gets away from Redbull quick...

Lewis:

He's the best person to have ever blessed this sport and planet and as I often say, if he needed a heart transplant I would give him my heart without a second thought. People who don't acknowledge his talent are just brainless racists who have never paid attention to him on track.

Charles:

He's the meowest of all meow-meows and I am going insane seeing everything being taken away from him because he's driving for a clown team. I would say I hate his team but my dad would disown me for saying I hate Ferrari... >.>

Seb:

#Ask game #Thanks!!!