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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Always.

“Truth” is just... I mean, I want to say “garbage” but that doesn’t even do how bad it is justice? Like, okay, I take four major issues with it (my followers be like: just four? :P):

First is the writing in general and the continuity of it all. This episode looks like it’s been through multiple drafts and the final product is an amalgamation of a bunch of them with no coherency between any of them. I already could kind of guess it from the Adrimi kiss that the finale removed, but it’s obvious that there were going to be Adrimi/Lukanette arcs in Season 4 but then stuff happened (i.e: the staff being cowards) and they got cut. It’s totally possible that the plot with Jagged Stone being the father and Marinette having to keep secrets from Luka were still the same episode even in the original draft, but I imagine it at least wasn’t episode one.

There are other, more subtle hints as well, like the episode giving no time to Luka learning that Jagged is his father (making the fandom wonder if Luka remembered when he was Truth) and Ladybug being shocked when she realizes that the akuma is Luka as if she didn’t already see him be akumatized. Juleka also gets weirdly sidelined in the episode despite being Luka’s twin (Astruc has stated that both Luka and Juleka are older and Juleka got held back, which is why she’s in Marinette’s grade but Luka isn’t), so she’s Jagged’s offspring as well. One might presume that Juleka just never cared at all but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to interact directly with the guy or have any involvement at all. All it would’ve taken is for Luka to mention that Juleka never cared about who their father was but he did, thereby implying that Juleka’s reaction to Jagged would probably be more like, “oh okay.”

You know, if they didn’t reduce her to incoherent mumbling.

Second is the timing of this episode. We had the New York special with Paris being destroyed, but it’s clearly fine here (so I guess it isn’t canon now; thank God honestly), and while it’s technically possible that enough time has passed (supported by the vague implication that Marinette having to miss out on dates with Luka has gone on for a while, given Tom and Sabine’s lack of reaction to them dating), it’s not supported by Marinette examining the Miracle Box as if she’s only just gotten it.

There’s also Shadow Moth, where we’re shown an extended version of the scene from the end of “Miracle Queen” where Gabriel repairs the peacock miraculous, giving the episode a “Volpina”->”The Collector” vibe but then why are the events lining up the way they do???

The narrative also does a really bad job at showing us why Marinette is so strapped for time. She has guardian duties now but you’d think it’d balance out with her not having to go to Fu anymore for guardian training (you know, that thing we never saw but was said to be happening or at least that it was Fu’s intent to have it happen). You could argue that maybe Shadow Moth is more active, but then Chat Noir should be affected by this too; Ladybug states outright that she’s been busy and Chat Noir responds with something akin to, “oh I know, because you’re guardian,” which implies that it’s her guardian duties keeping her busy and Shadow Moth is just interrupting her dates specifically.

But we don’t even see what responsibilities she has added on as guardian. I knew the writers would make it so her being guardian was a hassle, but it’s the first episode of the series and we’ve gotten next to no answers for what being guardian actually adds.

It’s almost like this was a rushed first episode to break up the only thing that unambiguously made Marinette happy for the sake of bringing the love square back and needlessly making her suffer because the writers think it’s hilarious.

Speaking of which, the third thing thing is the comedy because--just--I hate the comedy in this show.

Like, just to start, there’s the kwami, who clearly begin with their mob mentality from the later episode of “Furious Fu” and all proceed to act like children. No, I didn’t expect them to all be wise (I mean, Xuppu exists and is very much not that, having been implied to be a fit for Kim who is known for being a total himbo), but I don’t expect them to all scatter like they do. Kaalki in particular, who was shown to be more poised and refined, blatantly reveals herself to a bunch of civilians just for the sake of Marinette freaking out and needing to make up an excuse.

Same with Alya and her friends. Marinette is panicking because of the kwami and Alya “deduces” (while shading Marinette so blatantly that it’s insulting) that Adrien must be there in her house which--maybe don’t SAY THAT OUT LOUD in case Adrien is literally in her room???). Then Marinette gets a call from Luka, shouts his name, and the girls do a complete 180 in support of Lukentte. It’s not like I’m not for them supporting whatever Marinette wants to do, but the shift is so sudden (and contradicts “Frozer”) that it gave me whiplash and the entire scene ends up being pointless since the girls still go with the “Marinette is in love with Adrien” thing when Truth asks them what Marinette’s secret is. Like, we could’ve gotten small, stupid secrets that everyone thought only they knew about Marinette, but instead it’s just the same thing over and over again (which makes no sense since, by the time Alya blabs the secret - which Alya has already told Nino before anyway - it’s no longer a secret therefore making the answer invalid).

Heck, the whole “secret” thing could’ve even been the people Truth shoots finding ways of answering his questions in a way that is technically telling the truth but also not really, such as if Anarka had answered the, “Who’s my father?” question with, “someone you know/someone famous,” so as to avoid saying that it’s Jagged Stone. It’s just boring seeing characters answer with whatever the asker wants to hear instead of being able to find a way around it.

And then there’s Chat Noir, who’s just--ugh.

Like--okay, I’m going to be extremely petty for a moment and just go off because I hate Chat Noir’s role in this entire episode. The Season 3 finale went out of its way to have Chat Noir be all like, “I have a girlfriend,” when it was a lie, and then Season 4 just parkours around Ladybug telling him that she’s dating (Ladybug clearly took no issue with Chat Noir telling her he’s dating so it’s not like she’s worried about issues there; she’s gotten on his case before in episodes like “Startrain” so there are exceptions) because they want to keep having him flirt and not be sAd because this is Marinette’s episode of suffering and Chat Noir actually having to face the reality that Ladybug is dating (not just in love with someone else) would’ve actually been interesting. Chat Noir gets tons of unnecessary screentime in the episode - mostly for the show to shove in LadyNoir shipping fuel - and then actively avoids telling him the obvious thing because he would’ve actually been forced to grow/develop/stop flirting.

It would’ve been so cute and sweet to see him awkwardly trying to flirt without overstepping boundaries (so more like banter than flirt) or - you know - actually try to support Ladybug and want her to be able to finish her dates by him offering to keep akuma/sentimonsters busy, but no, he’s just left in the dark.

The finale had Chat Noir supporting her (terribly but I digress) and then doesn’t do anything with it at the start of Season 4, meaning his support of her was completely meaningless and just there.

His first appearance is him pranking Ladybug when she’s already overstressed and busy, which comes off as super poor taste and I’m both glad he got splatted into that window for it but also upset because it’s screentime completely gone to waste, and of course it’s just a lead up to him guilting her by being like, “nooo the only thing that hurts me is when you leave me alone during patrol!”

I know he’s teasing (...probably) but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we know (well, I knew because I know how this show works) that Luka and Marinette were going to break up because of Marinette’s hectic schedule, so it just comes off as insensitive to joke about it, especially when Ladybug’s busy guardian status just serves as a reminder that Fu is gone.

Even when he’s protecting Ladybug from Truth’s questions by cutting in and asking a question of his own, of course he asks about himself to forcibly fish compliments out of Ladybug because she can’t lie to him, and of course they have Ladybug compliment his humor most of all as if that trait hasn’t nearly gotten them in danger multiple times and she’s been repeatedly annoyed when he decides to joke during the worst possible times. It’s as if the writers wanted to pat themselves on the back for their own comedy, so they had Ladybug be a mouthpiece to stroke Chat Noir’s ego.

He claims he won’t force a truth out of her and then literally forces her to say what her favorite things about him are. I acknowledge that this can be seen as me nitpicking but we went from the finale where Chat Noir actually stepped up and took charge (because Ladybug was stressed but I guess him doing anything useful is just whenever it serves the plot) to this where he’s back to flirting constantly and jamming in as much LadyNoir shipping fuel as physically possible. It’s not that he’s useless but he’s annoying and takes up space in an episode that’s supposed to be about Luka and Marinette.

And that leads us into the fourth thing, which is the break-up and just the treatment of Luka and Marinette in general. I could go on and on about how the Season 3 finale built up their relationship just to tear it down in the first episode of Season 4, but that’s not the main issue here.

Luka brought Marinette comfort. He made her happy. He never judged her. He was happy to just date her regardless of any conflicted feelings she might have because hey, who is he to complain if she wants to give him a try and who knows what’ll happen?

And the season couldn’t even give one moment of them being unambiguously happy without ruining or interrupting it. I was ready for the break-up and I was even ready for it to be the first episode but I wasn’t ready for it to be so bad.

Marinette’s Adrien pictures appear out of nowhere (again, makes no sense for the timeline) when they’ve been gone for basically all of Season 3 and even “The Puppeteer 2″ specifically which makes a direct reference to “Troublemaker,” the episode that purposefully overdid it with her pictures (”Truth” has more hanging up and clearly used “Troublemaker” as a reference, by the way). They’re just there for force the love square and Adrien into the episode as much as possible to remind the audience that Adrien breathes. There is literally no purpose to any mention of Adrien and bringing him up isn’t even relevant to Marinette and Luka’s break-up.

It’s just upsetting to know that the umbrella scene from “Origins” (which is already flawed in and of itself) kickstarts this whole thing. Adrien did basically nothing there except for clear up a misunderstanding and give Marinette an umbrella when his ride was a few meters away and Marinette’s house was just across the street, but that actives Marinette’s absolutely crippling crush on him that lasts for 3-4 seasons. Marinette is in this eternal struggle of not being allowed to grow and change because the writers think her stammering/crushing on Adrien is funny while actively punishing her for having this crush in the first place (again, like in the scene with Alya, which insults Marinette for her crush when she wasn’t even panicking over her crush).

It’s the same with Luka, and I can’t believe that it took me until this episode to realize that he and Marinette are both treated the same way: tormented by episodes for having a crush on someone. Episodes will go out of their way to forcibly insert Adrien into the plot to both humiliate Marinette and make Luka feel awkward when the episode isn’t supposed to be about Adrien at all. “Truth” is just “Desperada 2.0″ except Adrien is barely on screen at all and they still felt the need to name drop him constantly. The writers are so sensitive to the idea of people jumping onto another ship or forgetting that Adrien exists that they’ll find any possible way to include him.

“Silencer” knew better. “Silencer” knew that Marinette’s life didn’t have to revolve around the mere mention of Adrien’s name and that she had other interests/desires/traits outside of him. Adrien isn’t brought up once and it was great because the show didn’t feel the need (for once) to throw Adrien into an episode that he had nothing to do with.

Even if I was a love square shipper, I would feel insulted by “Truth” because one half of my ship kept getting name dropped and used as a tool to humiliate the other half, which makes it all the more eyeroll-worthy when the love square stans of the fandom praise this episode for breaking Lukanette up when--oh, wait, they didn’t even break up “because Adrien.”

And that ends up being the real thing here. The writers had to invent a reason for Marinette and Luka to break up. We already know that Jagged Stone being Luka’s dad is a retcon (not technically in the show’s canon but in information we heard about outside of it), so they shoved in Luka having issues about not knowing his father specifically so that he would be pushed over the edge when Marinette couldn’t tell him about her being Ladybug.

When Luka and Marinette were just together and hanging out, Adrien wasn’t mentioned once. Say whatever about the Adrien pictures being on the wall and Marinette’s stammering (she always says stupid stuff when she panics - especially stuff she doesn’t mean - so I’m not upset with her so much as the writing for having her mess up in that specific way), but the only time Marinette talks about Adrien at all in the episode is when someone else brings him up.

She goes on a date with Luka to the cinema and they were having a great time without Adrien involved at all. I know I already stressed this point in a previous post, but one of the reasons that I find Lukanette to be so amazing is because the show actually focuses on Marinette’s interests and doesn’t force her to be the writer’s mouthpiece for gushing about their sunshine boy a punching bag for comedy. In every Lukanette scene that doesn’t bring up Adrien/before Adrien shows up, Marinette is either praised, able to be happy, or is showing one of her interests that isn’t aDrIeN, and whereas Adrien being on-screen around Marinette usually just means that she’s gushing about/stammering around him with no development, Lukanette features us actually learning more about Luka or other characters.

“Captain Hardrock” - lets her bond with Luka over a shared interest in Jagged Stone, and Luka is established as a sort of empath who uses music as a way to speak for himself

“Frozer” - gets to practice ice skating with Luka, who is actually good at ice skating and also can tie laces despite not tying his own because he’s a rebel

“Desperada” - gets to try out guitar with Luka and we learn that Luka has been playing guitar for as long as he can remember

“Silencer” - showcases Marinette’s interest in fashion and properly introduces Kitty Section; has a plot featuring all of them together doing something not even remotely love-related and we get actual confirmation of Luka’s crush on Marinette, along with Marinette’s reaction (blushy+happy; just saying, idk how anyone could watch “Silencer” and not think that Marinette was crushing on Luka)

“Heart Hunter” - Marinette gets a song written for/about her and Luka is established to have a job

“Truth” - brings up Lukanette’s shared interest in Jagged Stone, features Marinette’s interest in fashion when she gives him a gift she made + had Jagged Stone sign, and shows her raising her voice but not being judged by Luka for it, who’s happy with her just the way he is

When the show focuses on Lukanette, it’s all about lifting Marinette up, praising her, and making her feel good. When Adrien is involved or it’s hyper-fixating on Marinette’s crush on him, it’s about bringing her down and making her feel bad for a crush they keep forcing her to hold onto and humiliating her for.

Point being, the writers had to force their way into getting Lukanette broken up because of their precious love square and the fact that Marinette and Luka being happy is the opposite of what they want.

It’s embarrassing to watch a team full of old white guys (I’m convinced at this point that they just hang their female writer on a coat hanger so they can point to her whenever someone says that their staff is too male-dominated) treat their female biracial lead with such disrespect, and I can only presume that the mistreatment of Luka is because he’s supportive of her and they don’t like that, meaning that the way she’s treated ends up rubbing off on him.

It doesn’t come off as a fun or interesting plot; it comes off as cruel. When Adrien is sad, he usually gets people rushing to comfort him (”Party Crasher,” “Gamer”), but “Truth” has Marinette in tears over the fact that she can’t have a boyfriend due to being Ladybug and the writing has the gall to crack jokes about Kaalki not knowing what tears are, and then Marinette has to ask for the kwami to hug her for comfort.

When Luka gets akumatized into Truth, the episode doesn’t even hesitate at bashing away at him, from everyone saying that Marinette’s secret is that she “loves Adrien” (which, as Truth points out, isn’t a secret, and they could’ve had this somehow lead up to a twist ending where Marinette actually isn’t into Adrien anymore and the Adrien pictures were genuinely for reference, but she stammered about it because it was embarrassing that her boyfriend got sent it with no context) to one of Luka’s favorite songs actually being about how Jagged abandoned him to go on tour. Luka has to deal with Marinette ditching him constantly (not that I blame her) and not knowing who his father is despite wanting to know, and the episode treats him like trash for... what? Having a crush on a girl who’s secretly Ladybug? Because that’s all it seems to come down to in the end.

I also have serious gripes with the fact that Marinette has this huge schedule established in “Gamer 2.0″ and they don’t even try to explain why she can’t use it to keep track of her obligations. The episode has her say (in a roundabout way but still) that she’s forgetting stuff constantly because of all of her emergencies (the emergencies of which are not stated and I hate the subtle implication that forgetting something means you don’t care about it when that’s clearly not how things work and also not what Marinette comes off as because - again - they establish that she’s overworked) but fails to properly explain it. The episode hammers away at Marinette having all these issues and even has Tikki chide Marinette by asking her about leaving Luka alone while apparently neglecting the fact that Marinette HAS to go be Ladybug right now and what else is there to even do??

Both Luka and Marinette are punished for just having a crush and wanting to be together and I hate that the episode forces a break-up instead of coming up with a solution to the problem. Instead of “Marinette isn’t ready for a romantic relationship,” it feels more like she’s just not allowed to be happy.

Long-distance relationships are a thing. Relationships where people don’t get to go on dates frequently are a thing. Instead of forcing a break-up, the episode could’ve had a lesson/development where Marinette is told that she’s allowed to pursue a relationship and just needs to plan accordingly. but they just didn’t want to.

For example: instead of planning dates, Marinette could wait until an akuma/sentimonster is defeated to call Luka and ask him out, because Hawk Moth usually doesn’t strike immediately after one is dealt with. I’m positive that Luka would happily take impromptu/sudden dates over planned-but-inconsclusive ones. Heck, they don’t even have to date specifically and can just stick to phone calls (kwami can’t be picked up on technology) or hanging out in Marinette’s room/on Marinette’s balcony while they do their thing.

Relationships are a commitment, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a burden, and the episode absolutely drags Marinette over it. The whole thing with the kwami being released and stressing her out when they’re not supposed to be able to just come out normally is explained away by, “oh, the new box must be like you, Marinette; full of surprises!” when the reality is just that the show wants to take away everything that’s sacred to Marinette. The Season 3 finale had Fu’s letter telling Marinette that “life doesn’t always give you what you want, but the real gift is life itself,” then proceeds to turn Marinette’s life into a living hell.

Her room? She has to say good-bye to her privacy because now the kwami are always going to be around. The first thing one of them (Trixx) did was start reading her diary, showing that they have absolutely no shame or regard for Marinette’s feelings.

Her schedule? Conveniently pops away into the realm of non-existence so she can look bad for ditching Chat Noir on patrol and neglecting dates with Luka due to her responsibilities/stress.

Her boyfriend, the one person in the entire show who loved her, respected her agency, never judged her, actually apologized when he made her sad, and who she was genuinely in love with rather than just having the equivalent of a celebrity crush for? She had to break up with him because plot and needing to force her to go back to fawning over the guy who has only made her life worse by her crushing on him.

When I say the universe hates Marinette, this is what I mean. It created random akuma to attack Paris all for the sake of forcing Marinette away from Luka, and apparently didn’t realize what they were doing in the scene where Marinette hurries back to the Liberty when Kitty Section and Adrien are playing together when Adrien is Chat Noir so he should’ve been late too.

(Oh, and Marinette completely ignores Adrien in favor of waving at Luka and even tells Luka outright that Adrien isn’t even a factor in their relationship issues, further proving the “multiple drafts smashed together” and “the Adrien name drops are pointless” points.)

The whole thing in “Backwarder” where it was basically outright stated that Marianne could’ve been Fu’s confidant had Marianne not been outed by Ladybug’s mistake? Completely forgotten and left to the wayside. Marinette could’ve told Luka that she was watching the Miracle Box in Ladybug’s place (for any number of reasons, really: either Ladybug thinks it’s too dangerous to keep with her, or if the public doesn’t know that Ladybug is guardian, then Marinette can just say that she’s guardian) and that she has to run off to keep guard of the Miracle Box when an akuma/sentimonster happens in case Ladybug needs a miraculous.

Boom, done, episode solved. Luka gets to help Marinette with the kwami, Marinette is less stressed because someone knows half of her secret, and Luka and Marinette continue to date but are able to plan around akuma attacks.

But no. That whole thing in “Backwarder” where guardians (or at least Fu) can have a confidant was just there so Marinette could feel guilty about screwing it all up, because she’s not able to take advantage of that perk herself.

How convenient.

#category: salt #category: critique #episode: Truth #other: ml spoilers #other: ask and answer #((This is mostly incoherent because I am very tired.))#((''In general or at the episode--'' Yes.))

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harmoni-me · 3 years

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Hello! I’m not sure if your requests are still open but, if they are here you go! I wanted to ask if you could write me a request of Nagito Komaeda x a reader who is the ultimate Chess Master? I kinda wanted to imagine him falling in love or already dating his S/O who plays chess as a professional and is more on the kinder side when it comes to him. Good luck! 💖

Ooo! This is such a unique concept, and I absolutely love it! Writing it was an absolute joy! Thank you so much for the amazing request <3

Nagito Komaeda x Ultimate Chess Master Reader!

The ultimate nurse, the ultimate swords-woman, the ultimate photographer…everyone in this class seemed to posses such interesting talents. It made you feel quite jealous, in some sort of way.

Now, of course you never thought of your talent as boring, useless, or unnecessary in the slightest! After all, you were the Ultimate Chess Master. You believed that everyone should try chess at least once before inflicting their nasty opinions on the strategic game. Unfortunately, that was already too late when it came to…basically your entire school life.

In Elementary, you would ask the kids on the playground to play a quick game of speed chess, because you thought it was a fun way to spend time with friends! But all you got in return were child-built insults, saying that chess was stupid and boring. It’s quite ridiculous to admit, but those comments still float around your mind sometimes. Kids were harsh, still are…

In Middle School, you had a few close friends, and when you asked one of them to try playing a game of chess with you, all they did was look at you weirdly, a look that only seemed to scream “uh, are you serious?”. This was when you started to question your liking for chess. Was it that weird? Am I the only one my age that thinks that chess is actually a fun game?

Now, you were sitting in class at Hope’s Peak Academy, a school full of the elite, yet…

This was the first time you felt truly, whole-heartily ashamed about your love for the game of chess.

“Are you kidding me? Chess? You got into this school for an old-people game like CHESS!? Pfft-!” A girl in twin blonde pony tails and an orange kimono let out a shrill of laughter.

“An…old people game….?” You muttered to yourself, steadily becoming a little closed off from the rest of the class.

You’re love for chess was parallel to how you played, which was almost unbeatable on a professional level, yet…

Why were these comments crushing your heart? Why did it make your love for the game waver?

Class continued like normal, just a little lecture to start off the rest of our high school lives. You honestly weren’t paying attention, your focus more attentive to your little chess notebook, filing it with strategies you wanted to try against high-level computer AI.

Though, it would be nice to have even a complete beginner to play with every once and awhile, though, you might be asking for too much.

Thump

Great, more harassment.

You turned around slightly in your seat, and looked down at the ground it see a crumpled piece of notebook paper that had hit you in the back. You picked it up, and looked around to try and figure out a potential culprit, but it seemed as if everyone was acting normal. No dice, then.

Unfolding the messy ball of paper as quietly as possible, you read what seemed to be words written on the inside.

Meet me in the library today after school, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to be seen with trash like me

The wording on the letter was…strange, but that didn’t stop you from feeling a tiny firework of joy in your heart. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel more nervous than joyous due to how the letter was written. It was surely vague, but it really seemed like the writer as quite the low self esteem.

You were suspicious, but honestly, what could go wrong? It had to be someone from the class that you were just introduced to, so at least it’s not like a blind date sort of thing…

The more you thought about it, the more it actually seemed like a blind date. Nice.

Time seemed to move incredibly slow for the whole rest of the school day, but eventually, the bell had rung, and you were out the door in a heartbeat.

After a little while of asking for directions to the school library, you finally reached your desired location: An absolutely humongous cavern of probably any book one could think of.

Only a couple of students were residing in this literal book mansion, and none of which you recognized.

“I guess they’re not here yet…” You mumbled, sitting yourself by a large, lit fireplace. As the warmth from the flames licked your skin, steadily causing you to naturally relax all of the tensed muscles that were stuck to your bones.

You pulled out your phone, and automatically started a game of online chess with a random opponent. The game was done in a mere ten minutes. The other player was no doubt new to the game, but that’s ok, you were there once too.

You suddenly heard a subtle clunk next to you, making your gaze wander to that direction. It was that boy from your class, the lucky boy. You remember him clearly because you thought his hair resembled a fluffy cloud. The two of you made eye contact, his foggy green eyes squinting a bit when he smiled at you, warming your heart a smidge.

“Y/N L/N, correct? I hope you don’t mind my presence, though it’s ok if you do, I would never blame you on something that’s not your fault.” The thin male crouched down to take a seat on the floor with you, sitting cross-legged.

“Yep, that��s me…and I actually kind of appreciate the meeting, honestly. Even if you just came for simple company, I think that’s very nice of you, especially since everyone in the class already thinks my talent is boring and all…Nagito Komaeda, right? I’m happy to meet you.” You shot a warm smile to the boy, causing him to reciprocate.

“You’re too kind to such untalented scum like myself, all I have is the Devil’s luck, after all! I can’t even control any of it! So I’m glad someone like me can be used as a stepping stone for you to be a beacon of hope!” Nagito chuckled, humored by his own self loathing.

You flipped your whole body to face the living incarnate of a four-leaf clover, “Well, um, on a personal note, I don’t think you’re scum. At all. I think your talent is anything but boring…I also think you’re…quite kind, for hanging out with someone like myself.” Fiddling with your uniform sleeves in nervousness. You just want him to feel better about himself.

The boy went quiet, his smile dwindling from your comment. Was he not used to compliments?

After a few moments in silence, Nagito gazed into your eyes, a new type of smile prettily stitched onto his features. It was almost like this expression was more…vulnerable, uncovering itself under layers upon layers of facades. His face almost made you breath out a sigh of relief at how comforting and relieving his genuine expression was.

“I would like to play with you. I-If you would let me, of course.” Nagito gestured his hands downwards to the chess set he had placed onto the ground since the very beginning. And how did you not notice that? It may or may not be the fact that the boy in front of you seemed to be way more intriguing.

You’re eyes widened as sudden happiness started to flow through every vein within your body. The excitement washed over your soul, rejuvenating it’s prior state of melancholy dreariness. Was…he was serious, right?

“Really…?” Was all that you managed to squeak, causing the lucky student to tilt his head in wonder.

“Hm? Well, of course…I don’t really know who else I would be aski-“

“C-Can we please play speed chess!?” You sputtered, the passion and the fireplace flames reflecting off of your eyes to reveal in an enticing glow.

“Speed Chess?” Questioned the frizzy-haired boy, though he did seem quite interested at your sudden burst of energy.

“Yeah! It’s also commonly referred to as Blitz Chess, and it’s like chess, but you have a very short amount of time to make your moves! It’s super duper fun, and if you want even more fun, then we could also play Bullet Chess! It’s even faster, and a game only takes roughly three minutes if you…keep up…the…pace…” Your words started to get quieter and more mumbled. God, you totally forgot the two of you were in a library, how embarrassing….

A hearty laugh spilled out of Nagito’s mouth, the corners of his lips turning upward to the ceiling. You looked down in pathetic nature. That was totally something to laugh at…

“Though I would consider myself a newbie when it come to chess, speed chess sounds lovely.” Nagito smiled, his pointer finger playing and twirling around the queen piece’s crown.

“Ah, a-alright, well, lets get started, shall we?” You stuttered, with joy obviously evident within your voice.

. . .

Unsurprising to you, you had won all three games of speed chess against Nagito, though, it was surprising how close each game was. the more you thought about it, the more you realized his luck most likely aids him whenever he plays. Definitely one of the most interesting opponents you’ve been up against, whether it would be for casual online play, or in-person tournaments.

“Ah, bummer, I guess someone as useless as me shouldn’t even try to come close to beating you!” The boy ruffled his cloud-like locks, laughing at his loss.

“Hey! You had me worried for a few turns there, you were no pushover at all, Nagito!” You proclaimed, frustrated on why he would still think that, even thought the game results were all obviously pretty close.

“Also, please don’t say that your useless…it makes me really sad, because it’s not true at all.” You looked up at him with eyes that reflected something that had never burned so brightly before, and Nagito noticed.

Those eyes, previously clouded from the despair given from others, were now shining with a glimmering hope…and he drew that out from you…by simply playing a mere few games of chess.

For a moment, and only for a moment, he believed your words. Maybe he wasn’t so useless, he helped you find your smile and joy, right? Maybe…maybe…

“Oh yeah!” You shot up, causing Nagito to snap out of his thoughtful daze. You stuck your hand out to him, waiting for reciprocation.

“A handshake, to wish a good game among equals.” You encouraged the boy, wanting for him to fully indulge into what it was like to play the game in a professional, yet somewhat casual setting.

The boy looked at your hand, observing everything. Your nails, your fingertips, your knuckles, all the way down to your wrist. Equals, huh…

Nagito then slowly reached out to your hand, grasping onto it gently, yet it felt like it was the most comfortable fit he could’ve imagined. He wanted the warmth from your soft skin to seep into his cold hands, wanting that heat to slowly fill the rest of his frozen body, all the way up to his thawing heart. Though he didn’t linger any more on the handshake than he needed to, not wanting to make it uncomfortable for you.

But god, did he want to hold on forever.

#danganronpa #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa x s/o #nagito komaeda #Nagito x reader #nagito x s/o #nagito komeada x reader #nagito headcanons

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scabopolis · 3 years

Text

lv au week, day 2: super heroes

Title: superbloom Fandom: Veronica Mars Rating: PG-13 for content, R for swears (Veronica writes in her feelings journal and really lets those swears go) Pairing: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars Other Characters: Mentions of Mac and Meg Additional Tags: Secret identity (again?! what?), unnecessary epistolary literature (does a journal count as epistolary?), half-baked world building, a vague understanding of superhero lore Word Count: ~1,075 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

***

Again, written solely because @cubbiegirl and @marshmellowbobcat are earth angels. I even added a title this time so that MB doesn’t have to come up with one.

Why did I write this as Veronica’s journal? Mostly because it’s a style which seems to be a fanfic right of passage and I haven’t tried it so...here we are.

I probably owe a lot to other superhero universes and their world building (as in, referring to them as ‘supers’ ala The Incredibles). What are the full extent of Logan and Veronica’s powers? *shrug emoji*

***

Date: February 15 Tracked a low-level Kane agent to a tourist trap bistro in downtown San Diego. Place was packed. Is this the new thing? Shitty men forget to make Valentine’s Day reservations, so they make them for the day after?

Thought I had the guy but when I mistimed my pulse he metamorphosed into a cockroach and scurried away.

Best part of the night was the chocolate mousse I got to-go. Despite appearances within, the food wasn’t too bad.

Date: February 17 Caught up to Cockroach. Real name is Abel Koontz. Slimy guy tried to escape again, but Mac outfitted me with a souped up Morph Choke as backup — emphasis on the choke. Gonna need to recalibrate that a bit, Mackenzie.

Bonus! Forgot it was laundry day, so had to wear my backup uni. Next time I run into Meg out in the field I’ll have to ask her if she can see my underwear through it.

Date: February 18 Finally got around to watching season two of The Boys. Where do they get this shit?

If Piznarski brings up forming some sort of super team for the 7-millionth time at the summit this year, I’m siccing Clayton on him.

Date: February 21 Got into a fight with Mac. Technically my fault.

I faded while in public, and look, I get it.

Being detected while living as my alter would be bad. BUT!! Being forced to interact with my ex as he is on a date with a woman who legitimately looks like she could be my doppelganger is very bad.

Date: February 22 Clarified with Mac: me fading in public did not worry her. Me tripping Leo on purpose as I faded was apparently a problem.

Date: February 24 Cockroach stood me up.

Date: February 25 For all that is good and holy if another fucking cocky cowboy of a super moves to Neptune, I am going to lose my shit. This newest one? Got in my way as I attempted to track Kane, Jr into a warehouse. Fucking Smirky McCowboy stepped in my way and assured me I didn’t want to follow. Something about a dozen armed guards with guns aimed at the door. MAYBE THAT WAS MY PLAN!

(Because, of course the guy ripped a powers page right out of Superman’s book and has x-ray vision.)

(And, his uni? Not hard to tell when a super has money. They’re always the worst.)

Date: February 28 Ran into Smirky McCowboy again. This time outside of a poker game hosted by a real estate developer with connections to Kane. Smirky said it was a coincidence.

Still no sign of Cockroach.

Date: March 2 FUCKING HELL. He beat me to it. AGAIN! How is he doing this?

Date: March 4 Smirky’s name is apparently Logan. Which I learned because I was getting coffee at Willow Grove (just minding my business while covertly eavesdropping on previously mentioned real estate developer) when some guy sat at my table. Unprompted. Uninvited. UNWELCOME.

Mask or no mask, THAT SMIRK.

The more concerning thing is that his x-ray vision apparently sees through the skeletal enhancements Mac wired into my mask, meaning he ID’d me right away.

Date: March 5 Why do they keep coming here? Doesn’t New York have more crime? Go there!

Mac says it’s my fault for busting the Fitzpatricks, outing Kane as the sociopath he is, and helping all those kids find their lost dogs.

Okay, she only mentioned the first two, but I think the third has value.

The point is! these hangers-on need to find their own territory.

Date: March 6 Mac traced at least 70 arrests to Smirky in the Los Angeles area alone. I hate him.

Date: March 10 If he scoops another one of my cases…

Date: March 11 He calls me Supergirl.

He calls me Supergirl and I want to punch him.

Mac says Cockroach’s tracker is still active but the signal is being blocked.

Date: March 13 Saw Meg today. She took down her own parents. Fucking savage. God, I love her. She flew me up to American Plaza and we drank champagne to celebrate.

Oh! And good news! She says my backup uni isn’t see through.

Date: March 13 Woke up with this terrifying thought: can smirky see through my uni?

He wouldn’t...right? I mean...he’s an asshole but I don’t think he’s a creep.

Date: March 16 I punched him.

Not for the underwear thing! He swears he’s never looked and I weirdly believe him.

And I didn’t punch him as much as he walked into a pulse. Yes, fine.

I maybe purposefully put up the pulse to see if his x-ray vision could detect it. But I didn’t tell him to walk into it.

(He can’t detect it, btw. I did it a second time just to be sure.)

Date: March 18 Found Cockroach. Or, I guess I should say Koontz. He washed up on Dog Beach as his alter.

Mac said it could be a coincidence but we both know that’s not true.

Date: March 19 Did I do this? Did I get Cockroach killed?

Date: March 19 Logan has very good alcohol.

Date: March 20 Hangovers. Bad.

Date: March 20 Logan makes very good pancakes.

Date: March 21 Logan has seen me drunk, which means Logan must be destroyed.

Date: March 22 In a certain light, the smirk isn’t so bad.

Date: March 23 Oh god.

Date: March 24 Oh god.

Do I like him?

Date: March 25 I hate myself. I’m a giant cliché. I apologize to all women supers everywhere.

Logan swears he can’t see past the new enhancements Mac made to my uni.

He also asked me to dinner. Was tempted to 1) fade, and 2) run away, but I did neither.

Date: March 26 Adding insult to injury, Smirky McCowboy really knows how to kiss.

Date: March 27 Mac says I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Actually, what she said was that neither he nor I are all that pleasant to be around so we might be meant for each other.

Date: March 28 He really knows how to do some other things, too.

Date: March 29 Logan got me a present: surveillance footage of Kane’s mysterious second-in-command with Koontz the night before he was found.

He’s been upgraded to not the absolute worst.

Date: March 29 To be perfectly clear: we are not a super team.

Date: March 30 Logan and I are on surveillance detail tonight.

Maybe I can convince him to stop for some chocolate mousse.

#lvauweek2021 #vm fanfic #lv fanfic #logan x veronica #veronica mars #logan echolls #never stories #otp: the one person #p: logan x veronica #cubbiegirl #marshmellowbobcat #a title AND a read more?#she's learning!#by far the silliest thing I have ever written.#BY FAR

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mindofharry · 3 years

Text

in which you and grayson find yourself in the most absurd situation.

set in the 1800s, based on bridgerton.

a little bit of everything!! enjoy - feedback welcome as always! <3

“so, let me get this right, your grace”

“it’s grayson” he interrupted clearing his throat as you both promenaded along the river, your mama and his aunt following behind.

“you want us to pretend to court? may i speak freely, grayson” you asked looking up, grayson rolled his and nodded, loaning you were going to speak to him whatever way you wanted with or without his permission.

“we have nothing in common. and i do not like your manners and the way you treat me and others around you” you rambled looking around at the people, also promenading and looking for potiental suitors.

You also noticed how the men were gazing at you in a way you’ve never seen before. Like you were a prize, the feeling didn’t feel good, it felt as if you were some trophy.

But you guessed that is all what women are to certain men, a trophy they can win and put up high in their house. sometimes you didn’t feel opposed to being someone’s trophy, but with the duke beside you, that feeling never came. All that came was disgust and wanting to cover up your body even more than your mother already made you.

“do forgive me if i’m wrong, but have you the way the suitors have been looking at you, and all we’ve done is look at eachother and smile a few times” grayson said, moving his hand over towards the group of men to prove his point.

“you’re a duke, grayson. I’m not yet prepared enough for that” you say and he nodded, obviously agreeing.

“that’s why courting exists, and i’ve seen how impatient your mama is. It might get her off your back for a little bit. You have a little more time to properly talk with the pointer suitors.” grayson argued, stopping infront of you.

“so this is a rouse then?” you asked placing your un opened umbrella infront of you, leaning your hands on it. Grayson nodded and stepped a little closer, your breathe hitched as you felt his breathe close to your face. “an agreement if you will. you get more time, i don’t have any mama’s trying to wed their daughters to me. It’s a win win.” he said trying to convince you.

“it’s not like we’ll actually get married. tell your mama you’re leaving your options open, or tell her you’re madly in love with me” he teased earning a slap on the arm from you and wide grin. he looked around and smirked.

“so are we in agreement?”

“i think we are”

Soon enough people started noticing you and grayson together — more people meaning more potential suitors for you. your drawing room was filled with men and your papa was not one bit happy about it, and suprisingly neither was your mama.

They had both taken a liking to grayson.

You weren’t sure if it was his charm or because of his title, but nevertheless they were set on you and him courting for more than a week. you even overheard your mother talking to the head maid about a wedding sometime in the spring.

A wedding in the spring sounded superb.

A wedding with grayson in the spring sounded traumatic.

“Grayson” you asked both of you sat beside each other, eating a rather delicious piece of cake. Grayson even bought the most expensive one, just for the both of you. That rather impressed you, you admit.

“Y/N” he mocked leaning back in the seat.

“I’d like to know you a little better. I mean, i know your name, your title and that you have a twin brother. That is all, your grace”

“just how i like it to be” grayson replied. Grayson was rather young when he became the duke, his brother didn’t want this life (grayson had to be the bigger person). The stress of being a duke, has made him sour and cold, and not up for anything to do with marriage. If he was ever to marry he’s sure it would be the most awful thing to come to his short life. He doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about, if you love someone, why do you have to go through all of the dramatics, surely just saying it enough?

Grayson didn’t understand the fascination and he’s not sure he ever will.

“Well, what’s your favourite colour?” you asked earning, a loud laugh. you smiled at the sound, it was nice to see him smiling for once. You knew he had it rough, so you could take the coldness and moodiness if this it was came out at some points of the time you guys are ‘courting’.

“It’s green. like forest green. It’s a dark but rather happy green”

“just like you, grayson” you added, grayson raised any brow making you blush “i just met, that you seem rather broody and dark but once you actually sit down and talk you’re a very warm man” you rambled. God, you were just trying to make some sort of conversation and your witty comebacks were not helping you.

“Let’s get you back home, shall we?”

you frowned standing up, you saw the governorness walking slowly behind you both. even though you were very much out in the open, you still had to be chaperoned, a part you hated very much.

“forgive me, your grace. I didn’t mean to be so rude” you say touching his hand ever so lightly. Grayson cleared his throat shaking his head “never mind that. shall we finish the game of 20 questions?” he teased, easing the butterflies in your stomach.

“my brother is called ethan. Smart man. Married last spring. I still don’t understand how i’m the duke, the man is quite smart and orderly. And a sister Cameron, who moved to the country with her family some years back” he said you nodding and listening very carefully.

“I think you’re quite smart, grayson.” you smiled, you reached home a lot quicker than expected. And for some reason, you wished he would ask you out again.

“Hmm. Have a good evening, y/n”

And with that the duke left, only you and your governorness. “i think he’d make a great husband” your governorness, anna, whispered.

“yeah. i do too”

You were in the drawing room playing piano when the duke was announced.

“Lady Y/L/N, The duke of jersey”

you turned around to see the duke, your parents bowing and praising every move grayson took. you stood from the piano and met grayson halfway.

you smiled and bowed “your grace” you teased earning a laugh. you looked behind grayson and saw the smiles on your parents face and the nod the both gave you before sitting back down.

“i came here to formally invite you and your family to the ball i’m hosting.” he said his hands becoming weirdly sweaty and his heart beating rapidly awaiting your answer.

you looked magnificent today, you hair was up in braids and your dress was simple but beautiful. The necklace that adorned on your neck was something he wished he bought you himself, it looked rather beautiful on you. Grayson had to remind himself numerous times during the two weeks you have been courting that it’s not real, that this will end soon and you will both go seperate ways. But a part of him wants to just pretend it’s real, he wants you to look at him the way you do without any agreement or rouse.

but of course, that would never happen.

you were both too different, he was a duke for christ sake. It just wouldn’t work out. So he pushed those feelings deep, deep down. And hopefully they’d never reappear, like they are doing right now.

“oh, of course! i’d never say no to a ball!” you squealed, your mother cleared her throat to remind you of your manners.

“forgive me. It would be an honour”

“I was thinking i could buy you a dress? Go to the tailors, pick out anything and i’ll get it for you” he said, grayson insisted on spoiling you. Buying you flowers and now dresses, your mother thought it was sweet, you did too. But it was very unnecessary, you didn’t want him wasting his savings on you.

“Oh! my grace, i couldn’t ask that of you”

“i’m buying and that’s it” he smiled bringing your hand up to his lips, making your breathe hitch and your heart speed up.

“see you there, y/n”

The next couple of days were spent preparing for the ball and of course accompanying you in picking a gown. He never actually knew how much went into making and choosing a gown, he’d never speak bad about shopping how, he was exhausted.

“i like you better, grayson” you say browsing the fabrics. Grayson snorted causing some of the people around him to stare.

“and why is that?” he asked leaning against the wall as you picked out a few fabrics. It was honestly quite relaxing seeing you in your element. It made him happy to see you happy.

“you’re more open. you smile” you grinned looking over at him “and i must say you’re manners are magnificent, your grace” she giggled making grayson shake his head. “you’re strange” he mumbled, his heart doing that weird thing again, and this time he doesn’t push those feelings away, he lets them stay. And it feels pretty good.

“how many dances should we have tonight? i think two should suffice” you mumble looking up at your ‘suitor’. You wished it was real, there, you had admitted. you wanted to know what his lips felts like and his felt like without gloves. you wondered what he was like early in the morning and late in the evening. what he had on sundays and did he ever eat too much he was sick? all these questions would be answered if you just admitted your feelings, but no, you knew grayson did not want to marry.

And sadly, you don’t think you’d be an exception.

“Not too worry, my lady. I’ll take these from you. My grace” the lady bowed taking the fabrics from y/n.

“i shall have this complete in no time, i have your measurements and such, so i only need you to try it on again”

You had already tried on the main part of the dress, but you wanted some sparkly fabric to add to it and maybe a bow. It was just last minute (anxiety induced) details, you wanted to add before the ball.

“thank you so much. we’ll be back in an hour”

“i don’t know how you do it” grayson said as you put your arm around his. “well, i like to shop, i like design” you smile “it’s quite fun actually.”

grayson thinks it’s quite fun too.

“I can feel the glare of your governess. how about some miniatures?” grayson asked getting a smile out of you. you nodded “that sounds lovely, grayson”.

The ball looks so amazing, it’s not like anything you’ve ever been to before.

There’s chandeliers and lights everywhere and the paintings are the most magnificent things you’ve ever seen, why had grayson been hiding such an extraordinary home from you? You could love in this room, ignoring the massive castle the duke resided in. This room was something you could only wished you could pull off when you finally marry.

Maybe, one day, you sighed.

“why the long face, ms Y/L/N?” a voice called out, making you turn around with a grin.

grayson looked just as beautiful as the lights and paintings, dare you say handsome. Something about the way his hair feel and his skin glimmered did something to you.

Grayson could say the same about you — god, your smile and the way your eyes lit up just for him was nearly enough for him to propose on the spot. Your hair was done up, but grayson just wanted to run his hands through it and head you sigh in complete relaxation.

“No frown. The ball is so beautiful, your grace” you say bowing causing grayson to laugh.

“Come with me, i have something you might like”

The duke dragged you out of the room ignoring the looks of mamas and debutants. He pulled you into what you could only describe as some sort of exhibit. Paintings adorned all over the walls and a fire place right in the middle of the wall. This had to be your favourite room thus far — excluding where the ball is taking place. The paintings were absolutely extraordinary and somehow even with a handsome duke beside you, you couldn’t take your eyes from them.

“My mother painted most of these — i think all, forgive me if i’m incorrect” grayson started moving to a beautiful painting off the sky. “She used to go to this cottage every summer, she brought me down last year when i became the duke. I painted with her and we talked. She’s extraordinary at art a shame my father never let her sell any or earn any money” he said with a shaky breathe. “She died this fall, along with my father. So these are the only things i have as a reminder of her, or of them. My sister took all of their belongings for safe keeping. Ethan does not care too much. I wish i was trusted more” grayson admitted, basically knocking the wind out of you.

You knew his parents had died, but you never knew how much hurt he still felt. Of course, thinking back that was such a stupid thought. His parents had died one after the other, leaving such a young duke behind.

“Your mother is very extraordinary indeed. Just like you” you say getting a smile out of the duke. “i must say the clouds and the river one must be my favourite.” you say easing the tension.

grayson nodded in agreement.

You turn to the duke, only now realising how close you actually were. “i trust you. a lot more than i should, my grace.” you whispered looking up at him, a flush appearing in your cheeks.

“i wish i had gotten to know you sooner” he admitted making your breathe hitch. “i wish i never came up with this agreement. i wish i just asked you to marry me then and there. Because you are the smartest, most beautiful woman i have ever had to privilege of meeting”

your eyes filled up with tears, as grayson held your hand. He started to pull down the sleeve of your glove, you eyes widening but there was no objecting. You felt your glove fall down the ground and the duke big, soft hand take its place.

“We will be married”

“And you will be my dutchess”

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kodzukuroken · 4 years

Text

Seasons change, but people... Do too I guess.| Chapter 1, Watercolour Cats

Genre: Angst, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers

Summary: You and Tsukishima had been friends for years but upon the arrival of a very special invitation, your relationship takes a sudden change. Will your long-harbored crush for your best friend finally come into the light? Or will your relationship be altered for good?

Aka, Reader is an artist who is in love with Tsukki, there's angst, there are laughs, there are three established captain relationships! What could a person want?

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei x Reader (Kuroo Tetsuro x Kenma Kozume, Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji, Daichi Sawamura x Sugawara Koshi)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing, Eventual Smut

Read on Ao3 | This will update before Tumblr

This is the second chapter! I really love writing this story, there are currently 5 chapters out on AO3, so if you’d like to read past this chapter that’s where you can do it! Enjoy!

You screeched, audibly screeched when you’d first opened the beautiful pearl coloured envelope with gold embossed letters on the front. It was exactly what you thought it might be, but that didn’t mean that you could contain your excitement any easier. Inside the envelope was a card littered with small watercolor paintings of cats (your handy work, by the way) with beautiful gold lettering that read:

“Dear (Y/L/N Y/N) you are cordially invited to the wedding of your friends,

Kuroo Tetsurõ and Kenma Kozume.

Saturday 18th at 3’oclock.”

Below was the information about RSVP and plus-ones, but you knew all the information already; you were just excited that the invite had finally arrived. You’d known that Kuroo was going to propose for months but just hadn’t had the right opportunity yet. You also knew that the only way he could agree to Kenma going ahead with a real wedding was if he planned everything in advance so that he didn’t have to worry about meetings with florists or bakers. So that's what he’d done, with the help of you and a few others Kuroo had planned his and Kenma’s entire wedding before he even popped the question. Of course, there was no doubt in anyone’s head that Kenma would say no. He and Kuroo had begun dating right after high school and it was about time that they made some kind of commitment. But once every detail was planned and every deposit had been paid, the only thing left for Kuroo to do was to ask. You’d begged him to call you when he eventually popped the question, but he’d just laughed and said

“I love you (y/n) but I think it would kind of ruin the moment if I suddenly celebrated my engagement by calling you. I’ll send out the invites the next morning, you’ll know by the end of the week”. And that you had, the invite had arrived in the mail the very next day after Kuroo had said he would propose, and you could not be giddier.

You took out your phone and called the most recent contact in your phone, the phone trilled for a second and then a very bored voice picked up.

“I told you not to call me at work, I don’t have time to chat with you during the day,” Kei said, but made no attempt to hang up the phone so you proceeded.

“Kei! Did you get it? Did you get yours?” you squealed. You could hear him tensing up at the tone on the other end.

“And what exactly is that I’m supposed to have got?” He asked as if this wasn’t something you’d both been waiting for for weeks. Well, more so you than Kei, but he’d had to listen to you talk about it constantly.

“Your invite Kei. Did you get your invite?” you heard him click his tongue and the shuffle around his desk a little. He read the same words that were on your invite out loud.

“You are cordially invited to the wedding of your friends, Kuroo Tetsurõ and Kenma Kozume.”

“Yes!”

“I’m not going,” he replied completely uninterested in your excitement. You scoffed,

“You abso-fucking-lutely are Tsukishima Kei” you knew he would be difficult about this, even though he helped plan the fucking thing.

“It's all unnecessary. They’ve been together for years, why have a party now?”

“It’s not a party, Kei. It’s a wedding ” you clarified.

“Same difference, besides who puts cats on a wedding invite. Their heads are weirdly shaped too.”

“I drew those cats you asshole!”

“I know,” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Keeeei” you begged.

“No”

“Pleeeeeaaase,” you begged again. He was silent this time and let you continue “We haven’t done anything fun in months. Besides, you’re Kuroo’s friend too and I know for a fact that he wants you there, plus-” you paused.

“Go on,” he pressed as if he already knew what was coming.

“I think this will really help me get over Ren,” you say. You can feel him rolling his eyes, Ren was your boyfriend of the past three years and you’d broken up just over a month ago. You were devastated when it happened but never really got an explanation as to why it did. Kei had found you after a couple of days of no replies sitting on the floor of your apartment weeping. He’d sat with you all night, letting you vent, before sending you to shower and buying you dinner. You hadn’t talked about it since then.

“Oh my god”

“It's true!”

“What does that have to do with me?” he asked, you could hear him typing on his computer now. He’d obviously realized that you weren’t going to let him get back to work.

“Because Kei! It's a wedding, I can’t go alone, that would be pathetic!”

“So you’re asking me to be your date now?” there was a small amount of evil delight in his voice, but you didn’t waver.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” He paused and you waited in the silence.

“Fine, but you’re paying for gas and buying dinner when the food is crappy” you squealed again and he huffed.

“Thank you Kei! You’re the best!” He didn’t reply, just hung up. You stood in your quiet apartment beaming to yourself, you had to call Kuroo.

You spent what felt like weeks planning for the wedding. Finding the perfect gift, making sure that Kei actually had something nice to wear, you even made him come along to help you pick out a dress which he was the opposite of thrilled about. You were about four dresses deep when you finally came out in a small dark green number, it hugged your waist well and the skirt was plenty full for a wedding.

“What about this one?” you turned to Kei who was sitting in a chair just outside the dressing room tapping through his phone boredly. He took one fairly indifferent glance at you and said

“It’s good.” You sighed and smoothed the fabric against your palms, in his defense this was the best answer you’d gotten all day.

“Really?” you asked, “you don't think its too-”

“Slutty?” he interrupted an evil grin on his lips. You hit him across the back of the head.

“I was going to say revealing” you turned to look at the back of the dress, it did cut a little shorter than you’d usually like. You sighed and waited for him to reply. He looked you up and down again and rolled his eyes.

“It’s shorter than the rest, yes but not by much. Plus it's a summer wedding” a rather pleased smile grew across your face. He saw how delighted you were with his genuine reasoning behind the choice.

“I’ve been around you long enough to know what kinds of things you like to hear,” he said plainly “Don’t start thinking that I actually care about what you wear.” But you just kept your bright smile and bounced back into the dressing room to change. You had your dress, now all you had to do was actually get him to go.

When you got to the wedding that day, you weren’t exactly shocked at how beautiful it looked. Rather, you were just reminded of the incredible taste that Kuroo had hiding somewhere in the back of his dumb jock brain. The wedding was simple, minimal flowers with lots of white and small red accents everywhere. Both Kuroo and Kenma wore black with small red hibiscus in their lapels. The ceremony was short, intentionally you figured so that Kenma didn’t have to stand in front of so many people for too long. But he looked probably the most relaxed you had ever seen him while not sitting in front of his computer, it was pretty amazing really. You and Kei sat near Bokuto and Akaashi, one of whom cried the entire way through the ceremony. You’d laughed quietly when Kei turned to Bokuto next to him and whispered

“I never pegged you as the romantic type Bo” Bokuto looked at him through teary eyes and nodded his head in response. Akaashi laughed and placed his hand on Bokuto’s to calm him a little.

Before you knew it the ceremony was ending, and just as the priest was finishing up his last words you turned to Kei and asked him something softly.

“You don’t actually believe that do you?” you asked, just loud enough for him to hear.

“Believe what?” he asked in a low voice.

“What you said on the phone before, do you really think that weddings are unnecessary?” He thought for a moment, and then shrugged just enough for you to see.

With that, Kuroo and Kenma were kissing lightly and a small blush was rising in Kenma's cheeks, the whole room erupted in applause and the two began to walk down the aisle. As you rose to leave, Kei’s lips found their way to your ear again

“I suppose it works for some people, you know if you find the right person.” The words sent electricity down your spine, what was he insinuating?

The reception was a little more Kuroo and Kema than the wedding had been. There was apple pie instead of cake and a small row of arcade games in the corner of the room, something that Kuroo had been insistent on in order to do something for Kenma. After everyone gave their speeches and the “surprisingly not the crappy” food was served ( Kei’s words not yours). Everyone began to make their way to the dancefloor besides the two of you and a few others. You watched as Bokuto swung Akaashi around wildly while Akaashi merely complied with whatever his boyfriend was doing with a small smile on his face. There were a few of the guys from Kei’s old volleyball team here, but he made no attempt to talk to any of them. It wasn’t until a tall boy with dark hair and freckles made his way over to the table that the two of you even noticed he was there.

“Yamaguchi!” you cried, completely delighted. He smiled kindly and wrapped you in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you!”

“You too (y/n)! It’s good to see you too Tsukki!” Yamaguchi paused for a response.

“Hey” Kei offered and you rolled your eyes. Yamaguchi just chuckled.

“You haven’t changed Tsukki I can tell you that” you laughed along with Yamaguchi before it was Kei’s turn to roll his eyes at you.

“I’m getting a drink, do you guys want anything?” Yamaguchi shook his head, but you offered to go with him. The two of you headed to the bar, pushing through the large crowds to a man in a vest and tie who was serving the drinks. Kei ordered for the both of you and you stood close to him you both watched the bartender make your drinks.

“You could be a little nicer to Yamaguchi you know,” you said it lightly but he knew you were serious.

“I was plenty nice,” he replied, his eyes on anything but you.

“Kei, he was your best friend i-”

“Yeah, in high school, but we’re not in high school anymore are we?” he was a little more pointed this time, and you felt it in your chest.

“So what? We were friends in high school and we still are now, or is that not what we are?” Kei was silent for a minute and met your eyes with his golden ones, you could see that he was thinking but you weren’t exactly sure about what.

“No,” he replied.

“No?”

“No, that's not what we are. You’re just the crazy girl who seems to have never left me alone since first year” he smiled into his newly freshened drink and you scoffed.

“Well that's just rude,” you whipped your head around dramatically, trying to act outraged. You heard him chuckle and it made your cheeks warm.

Then you felt his finger tapping your elbow, you sighed and tried to look distant and dramatic.

“I’m not talking to you until you apologize Kei,” you said and suddenly felt him pressed close to your back. Your heart raced and blush rose up your neck as you felt every inch of him pressed against you, if you didn’t know him any better you would have thought he might be enjoying it as much as you did. With that, he leaned down to your height and brought his mouth to your ear for the third time today.

“Let’s dance.” Your eyes widened as you twisted around, you looked at his face that had returned to it’s normal height.

“You don’t dance,” you said, eyes narrowed. He sipped his drink again.

“No, but you do and it’s a wedding.” You still looked unsure so he rolled his eyes “Plus it’s a slow song which is safe and it will get you to stop sulking” you couldn't argue with that.

You let him guide you over to the dance floor where everybody else was swaying in each other's arms. You smiled, a little nervous, you always liked to dance at parties but you were never much of a slow dancer. But you let Kei pull you in effortlessly and place his hand on your hip and hold your other hand in his. You brought your spare hand to his shoulder and let him guide you around the dancefloor slowly. For someone who didn’t ever dance, Kei was surprisingly good at it, it had even left you a little flustered when he managed to spin you around flawlessly in time with the music. You smiled up at him, and figured your look must have been an intrigued one because he asked,

“What?” you held your tongue for a minute but figured it was safe to address it.

“You can dance” your voice had more disbelief in it than you intended and Kei rolled his eyes.

“It would seem so, yes”

“I didn’t know you could dance” he spun you around again before you could say anything else and then came close to your ear again.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me (y/n)” your breath hitched in your throat before you brought your head to rest on his shoulder, deciding it was too dangerous to antagonize him when he had you in such a state.

When the song ended, Kei stopped and you looked up at him. His golden eyes looked softer than you had ever seen them, the light of the hotel ballroom bouncing off his glasses just enough to make them twinkle. Your heart swelled as you thought about the last seven years of your friendship together and finally, the words he’d said to you at the wedding earlier that day returned to your head.

“I suppose it works for some people, you know if you find the right person”.

Your heart stopped, how could you have been so stupid.

He was just about to ask if you were okay when you grabbed his hand and mumbled something that sounded like “Come with me”. Before you knew it you were out in the quiet hallway, the music from inside muffled by the large doors, it was cool out here and you shivered a little from the sudden change.

“(y/n)?” Kei asked, he sounded a little annoyed but confused more than anything.

“Just, give me a second Kei,” your own voice was muffled in your ears. Everything suddenly felt completely hazy but also clear as day. God, how could you be so stupid? All these years you’d been trying to preserve your friendship, thinking that Kei had no interest in you whatsoever but you knew now that wasn’t true. He’d come with you tonight, he’d laughed with you and held you while you danced together. He liked you.

“(y/n)? We can go, leave, if you’re not having a good time” he began “seriously if you’re going to be we-”. He was cut off by your lips crashing into his. He was tense for a moment, completely confused as to what the fuck was happening. But when he felt your hand lace into his hair, he relaxed a little. You stood there holding each other in a kiss for what felt like an eternity before breaking away to breathe. You looked deep into his eyes and smiled, your eyes were filled with tears. But Kei was too dumbfounded by what had just happened to even notice, he looked on at you blankly trying to process what had just happened.

“Kei?” he looked at you for real this time, fully coming to terms with what had just happened. You’d kissed him.

“I can't do this” he heard himself saying before he could even think about it.

“What?” he knew you’d heard him. “Kei what are you talking about, isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. Fuck, what was he doing?

“Then what’s wro-”

“We can’t. Not now, I can’t” before he knew it he was backing away from you. He cursed himself as his arms disconnected from your waist.

“I’m sorry,” you said, you were crying fully and his heart tore in two, “I thought this was what you wanted”. You were looking down at your shoes now, just like he used to watch you do when you were younger. God, he was an idiot.

“I’m sorry (y/n), I just ca-”

“ Can’t. I fucking get it Kei” you spat at him eyes averted. He’d never seen you look this broken in his life and he’d caused it. You turned away from him and began to shake, all he wanted to do right now was hold you. Hold you, and apologize and kiss you again, but he couldn’t. After another beat of silence, you sniffled and turned your head just enough so he could hear your broken words.

“Just go Kei. Leave, please”. His heart shattered at the finality of your words, but he did as you said and left without another word.

After you heard the large door to the wedding swing shut behind you, you began to sob. You tried to stop yourself, you told yourself to breathe, but any air that came out of you was broken and hitched. At some point, you had managed to walk yourself over to the large spiral staircase nearby and perch yourself on the steps, before crumbling into tears again. How could you have been so stupid? Of course, Kei didn’t want you, you’d been friends for years if he was in any way interested in you by now he would have done something. God you were an idiot. In one night you had managed to lose your best friend just by giving into a feeling that you’ve been harbouring for years. You thought about how sad he looked, how confused and shocked his face was as you pulled away. You thought about how your heart shattered when he pulled his hands from your hips. What the fuck had you done? You’d ruined everything.

You sat for what felt like forever, weeping silently to yourself when eventually you heard the doors to the wedding swing open again. There was a small part of you that had prayed he’d come back. That he’d just been scared and that he really did want to be with you, but you weren’t so lucky. You looked up from where you sat and there in the doorway was Bokuto, the smile fading from his face as he saw the tears coating your own. He rushed over to you.

“Hey, hey, hey, what happened are you okay?” he sat next to you and put a hand on your knee, but the sudden comfort just made you cry even more.

“I-it’s K-Kei” you managed to get out after a few minutes.

“What happened? Was he an asshole to you? God that fucking guy” Bokuto put his arm around you and began to curse Kei out, but you shook your head.

“N-no, it was me. I r-ruined it Bo” you sniffled your head resting on his chest now.

“Ruined what (y/n)?” he asked innocently as if your whole world hadn’t crumbled around you not ten minutes ago.

“Us. Me and h-him, everything we had. It’s gone.” Bokuto sighed and pulled you in closer.

“Don’t be crazy, you guys have been friends since high school. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad” you shook your head again.

“I ruined it, Bo. I ruined it”. Those were the only words you managed to get out for the rest of the night. At some point, Bokuto had carried you up the spiral staircase of the hotel to a room. He placed you on the bed lightly and then sat down on the one next to you.

“Stay here with me and Kaashi tonight, we’ll keep an eye on you”. You nodded, too weak to protest. He sat on the bed next to you for a while, just watching. Eventually, your eyes grew too heavy for even tears to fight off and you fell into an unrestful sleep.

The next morning, you awoke to dappled sunlight dancing across your face. For a moment, you had completely forgotten what had happened between you and Kei last night, it wasn’t until you heard a familiar voice whispering somewhere nearby that it all came flooding back.

“I don’t know Kaashi, she wouldn’t say. She just kept saying she’d ruined things” it was Bokuto. You cringed and tried to squeeze your eyes closed even tighter to make it go away.

“Do you think he tried something?” it was a different voice now, one a little softer than Bokuto’s, you heard Akaashi sit down on the bed next to you.

“No, I doubt it, Tsukki’s an asshole but not that type” there was a silence, you figured that they were looking at you. This was as good a time as any to make your presence known. You sat up slowly and groaned a little. You were met by Akaashi’s soft eyes, and Bokuto’s expecting ones.

“Hey,” you said, voice a little hoarse from all the crying last night. Akaashi handed you a warm mug.

“Here, tea will help” and smiled up at him softly.

“Thanks, I’m sorry if I intruded on you guys last night” you took a sip of the tea and tried to focus on how warm it made you feel.

“Oh don’t worry about that” Bokuto said, a little too loudly for your sensitive head, “we’re just worried about you that's all”.

“Bo” Akaashi snapped trying to be quiet about it.

“It’s ok, I appreciate your guys’ concern,” you said, setting you tea on the side and getting up to stretch. Akaashi nodded and sipped from his own mug.

“Are you okay then?” he asked, you hadn’t expected the question to hit you so hard. You plopped back down on the back.

“No,” you could only be honest here, they’d already seen the kind of state you were in last night. Bokuto sighed and came to sit next to you,

“You have to tell us what happened (y/n), did he do something?” you shook your head hard, you didn’t want there to be any confusion as to who was at fault here.

“He didn’t do anything, it was me” Bokuto looked confused because he knew Kei, and he knew the kind of asshole he could be and he never expected that you could have been the one to cause this damage.

“I kissed him” you peeked over to look at both Bokuto and Akaashi, but they were both staring at each other silently.

“And that's bad because?”

“You don’t understand Bo, I kissed him and I didn’t say anything at first I thought he liked me, between the wedding and the dress and the dancing” you were on your feet pacing around the room now “and then what he said, a-at the reception I thought it meant something”.

You looked to Bokuto and Akaashi for some kind of understanding but you were left with two vacant looks. You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“I led him out into the hall after we danced, and I kissed him” you closed your eyes, replaying everything in your head “and he… he rejected me. He pushed me away and said he couldn’t. I tried to push him for a reason but he just kept saying he couldn’t. And then he left”.

You looked at Bokuto and Akaashi again and now their faces looked solemn. You laughed bitterly

“I never should have assumed he liked me”.

“(y/n) no!” Bokuto said Akaashi put his hand on his boyfriend’s knee attempting to calm him, but it was to no avail.

“It’s Tsukki, he’s always had feelings for you! The two of you belong together!”

You were completely taken aback by Bokuto’s words, you’d know you’d always thought these things secretly but you had no idea that anybody else could see it. But then you remembered Kei’s face after you asked him why, he looked so confused and betrayed he couldn’t possibly have thought the same things that you and Bokuto had, you were wrong.

“He doesn’t want me, Bo, I ruined it” tears began to sting your eyes again, luckily Akaashi interrupted just in time.

“Why don’t we take you home yeah?” you nodded and the two guys pulled you into a smothering hug.

“It'll be ok, (y/n). You guys will figure it out” you couldn’t make out which one of the guys this had come from, but dear god you hoped they were right.

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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years

Text

One more thing about the Ferengi on Deep Space Nine and the idea of tolerance.

(Good morning, world.)

This is the so-called paradox of tolerance, ie, do you tolerate intolerance?

As far as we can tell, the main issue Sisko has with the Ferengi at the start of the show, is not anything relatively superficial like them eating slugs or what have you. It’s that he’s uncomfortable with his son making friends with Nog, because he’s worried that the values he wants his son to grow up with like respecting women and valuing education, will be eroded because the Ferengi as a whole do not value those things.

In point of fact this doesn’t seem to happen — Jake rubs off on Nog a lot more than Nog rubs off on Jake. Much to Quark’s frustration. And Sisko relaxing and letting 14 year old Jake make his own decisions was unambiguously the right call, even if it hadn’t gone that way. And it grows into a lovely friendship that is the heart of the show in many ways. But the show was presenting Sisko’s reluctance to let Jake get close to Nog as being equivalent to say white parents not wanting their kids to play with black kids just because of racism, and it really wasn’t that at all.

(And possibly reassuring white people that having some racism to get over isn’t that bad because here look, a black parent struggling in the exact same way. “We’re all a little bit racist”, right?)

That story would have worked a lot better if we’d seen Sisko having stereotypes and assumptions about the Ferengi that turned out to not be true. But...the Ferengi do actually have an incredibly sexist society, the Ferengi men do constantly insult the intelligence of women and largely see women as possible sex partners rather than whole people, they are actually exploitative and money-obsessed, Quark is a smuggler who frequently breaks the law and his brother is a weapons dealer, etc. While the show is weirdly sympathetic to Quark, to the point that you realize he does have an odd sort of integrity, and Ferengi are shown as being capable of embracing Federation values, Quark is actually everything Sisko thinks he is. It didn’t have to be — either Ferengi culture could have been retconned to not actually be as awful as it was shown as being in TNG, or we could have had a new species and entirely new stereotypes that turned out to be not entirely accurate.

In particular, there are many cultures that have different roles for men and women that also basically respect women and don’t give the men all the power, and which frequently have culturally established ways for people who don’t fit their culture’s default gender roles to do things differently. Treating men and women as much the same as possible is not the only way to seek gender justice. Nor is it without problems — for instance, when women get stuck with the double shift of a full time job and the lion’s share of the housework and child care as well.

I don’t think the Ferengi should have been brought back for DS9 at all, let alone had their role in the show expanded so much, but perhaps another culture could have been introduced that had gender roles that the Federation doesn’t or different sexual mores or what have you, Sisko might initially assume that means that the men don’t value women, and that might have turned out to be incorrect. That would have been somewhat difficult to handle well I think, without making it sound like “hey, women’s rights progress is totally unnecessary”, but if it was done well it might have worked, and actually made the point that Quark was supposedly trying to make about tolerance and hypocrisy.

(Which, goodness knows Western liberals do actually frequently make false assumptions about the backwardness of other cultures and the superiority of Western culture. So it is a good point. It just doesn’t make sense in context because the Ferengi as written actually do have an unrealistically awful culture.)

What does work with the Ferengi in the show as it is, is one episode where we see a female Ferengi who disguises herself as a man (so that we finally see a female Ferengi character and so that we’re shown that not all Ferengi embrace gender restrictions) and then later we get several episodes with Quark and Ron’s mother “Moogie”, who also has her own way of interacting with and rebelling against Ferengi gender-based restrictions. And again, we do have individual Ferengi assimilating into the Federation. These episodes make individual Ferengis less of a caricature, but don’t actually support the idea that maybe Ferengi culture is not so bad. And this is a problem: Ferengi culture shouldn’t be that bad compared to the Federation, it’s artificial and stereotypical and wrong that an alien culture just happens to be worse than the Federation in nearly every conceivable way.

I suppose it could have been worse. There could have been a whole movement (in the show) to forcibly “liberate” Ferengi women from their oppression, one that paid no attention to the women themselves and assumed they were helpless victims and ...

And you’ll note that tolerance isn’t a value of Quark’s or Ferengis in general. Quark is repeatedly contemptuous of the Federation and the “hu-mons.” Narratively, that speech is equivalent to a villain poking at the hero for (supposed or actual) hypocrisy.

In this past election season in the United States we also had a lot of “paradox of tolerance” handwringing. A lot of concern about how maybe the Democratic Party wasn’t thinking enough about poor or rural white people. Except oddly, the concerns were never things like, “hey, you can’t get work in lots of rural areas so they’re losing all their young people to the cities, what can we do about it?” or, “hey, real minimum wage has been going down because it’s not tied to inflation, let’s fix that.” No, it was “maybe we should forget about this LGBT stuff and Black Lives Matter, because, you know, that’s threatening to these people.” Which I’m pretty sure always meant “that’s threatening to me, or at least not something I care about at all, but I don’t want to look racist or homophobic so I’ll pretend it’s about practical electability concerns and not my own lack of compassion.”

Lack of...what’s that word again? Ah right. Tolerance.

If your “tolerance” or understanding or compassion for one group of people means less compassion for another group, you’re doing it wrong.

And in case I didn’t spell this out clearly enough in all the words I’ve written: you often get a lot farther examining the choices the writers (directors, etc) make, than examining the choices that characters made within the framing that the writers created. Sisko’s attitudes towards the Ferengi are far less interesting and worthy of comment than the writers’ attitudes towards the Ferengi.

“Why did this character choose to make a false accusation of rape” is always less relevant from a social justice perspective than “why is this writer telling a story about false accusations of rape?” “Does it make sense in story that this character is wearing a chainmail bikini” is less relevant than “wow, that author sure made a choice to put that female character in a chainmail bikini.” Luanne in the eponymous comic strip noticing that fashion magazines offer contradictory advice is less significant than looking over a comics page of two dozen strips and noticing only two female names in the author byline, and only one that isn’t co-writing with a male author — even comics that center female characters (which are very much in the minority) are often written by men. Notice the man (sic) behind the curtain.

“How does a representative of an idealized Western-coded future spacefaring society, see people who are outside of that society” is less significant than “how do the writers depict Western-coded societies vs other societies?”

#rape mention #racism #antisemitism #2020 election #homophobia #identity politics #paradox of tolerance #ds9 #Star Trek #as usual this is not saying you shouldn’t watch ds9 #or that you should be ashamed if you have and didn’t have this reaction #ds9 is a vast mix of contradictions #they handle some subjects incredibly well actually #just I do not know what they were thinking when it comes to the Ferengi #political

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myulalie · 4 years

Text

On modern comment culture

First off, I’d like to make the distinction between honesty, and being hurtful under the pretense of being honest.

Hate, be it anon or not, is hurting someone’s feelings on purpose.

You can receive hate and be a hater too. It might be easier, even, to go from the hate you receive on your work, and take it out onto someone else’s.

Here is how I picture a hater's mind: “easy to pour some hate into a comment section, you don't see the person and they receive nice comments. They probably won't even notice.”

Sometimes, constructive criticism, even with your best interests at heart, hurts.

We don’t expect it, it’s not what we meant to write, or we just didn’t worry about how our work could be perceived.

It might be a very European vs American perception of criticism, and I aspire to get better, so the choice I made is to receive constructive criticism (concrit for short).

I wish someone would tell me if I’m writing something that doesn’t work, and why it doesn’t. I wish someone would point it out if I misuse a word.

Positive feedback is great and encouraging, actual comments about what someone likes/dislikes and why is helpful.

Not wanting any concrit is the author’s choice and I respect it. This is the reason I only offer concrit to anyone who told me they’re interested.

I wish concrit was still a thing

Modern comment culture is protective of authors, and there is a general agreement that concrit, especially unsolicited, is unnecessary.

I fully support the fact that fanfic authors are writing for free, so they deserve basic respect for their work.

This doesn’t give them the right to be assholes.

You put your work out there, you have a responsibility to at the very least let people know you’re not interested in concrit, and to disable/moderate comments if you don’t want them.

If someone comes to bug you when you explicitly mentioned you’re not interested in concrit then yeah, by all means, tell them to fuck off.

I think it’s important to let haters know their behavior is unacceptable. As they say, the only way to deal with a bully is to punch them in the face (or make them face the consequences of their actions as a general rule).

The author’s reply to hate tells a lot about them, but their reply to concrit also does.

Being polite should be a given.

And it goes both ways!

Readers are offering concrit for free too, they take the time to do so because they genuinely want to help. They enjoy your story enough to want to interact with you.

I’ve had a lot more comments than usual with kinktober, and I’ve built up a new habit of replying the next day before or after posting my daily take on the prompts.

I am aware that the amount of comments I receive is manageable, and some people have to deal with a lot more every day (like, hundreds).

In my experience, replying to short and sweet comments can be challenging because a simple thank you message isn’t personal enough, and you as a writer don’t have much content to actually reply to either.

Longer comments often open up more possibilities to reply, even if it’s just to let the reader know how you felt when reading their comment.

I believe that no matter how shy or busy you are, copying and pasting a little thank you message isn’t that difficult, and doesn’t take that long. You could even leave a note in each new chapter to let your readers know you read their comments and appreciate them.

Acknowledging readers will encourage them to comment your fics more, and potentially to the benefit of other authors too.

Don’t start fights because of concrit

Readers, please know that a simple heart as additional kudos goes a long way. Saying what you liked or just that you're enjoying the story is really encouraging too!

If you’d like to leave concrit, maybe formulate your comment as a question instead of pointing something out, to avoid upsetting the author.

I’m sure you mean well when you leave a comment, and you don’t want to discourage the author if you like what they’re writing!

If the author is open to concrit, they’ll probably reply to your question and ask their own, which leads to a conversation. Better safe than sorry, offer concrit and wait for them to agree, there is no use in getting into a fight with the author.

A better use of your time as a reader would be to read even more, I’m not getting in the way of your fun, or go and offer comments & concrit to someone who is interested in what you have to say.

As a writer, I guess you can always write more, and maybe thank readers for their kind words!

How to establish dialogue with your readers

Disclaimer: I’m still learning, and the amount of comments I receive compared to my free time is manageable. Before you proceed, please note I asked my reader for permission to use their comments as examples.

Myulalie: I would like to make a tumblr post about comments and include yours as an example.

It's to explain why I value them and how I proceed to reply, because I have strong feelings about author/reader relationships ^^

Would you be okay with that? It's totally fine if you're not, I am asking for permission because I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Also, if you agree and for some reason change your mind once you've read the tumblr post, I'll remove it, no questions asked ^^

Reader: I don’t mind at all, I know a lot of people don’t leave feedback, for a variety of reasons, so any education in how/why is always important. I’m just glad my comments fall in to the good category 😁

Thanks for asking, you have my permission to use any you like.

The context is as follows: The characters went on vacation and asked friends to pet-sit their cats. I then used the characters’ cats as plot devices for the characters to move in together. A cat hid under the sink and refused to leave, which brought forth the “moving in” conversation.

Reader: Alcohol + other person = trautamised cat and an empty drinks cabinet... which I would be making them restock, oh and embarrassed friends... the cat might want to stay but I know the signs of a traumatised let.. sometimes taking a chance on something turns out to be the best thing in your life, so far, until the proposal

This reader is lovely and has been commenting on every chapter of this story, as well as some other stories. We never had any issue whatsoever and even chatted about their cat.

This is what I consider a good relationship, and when I read this comment I was surprised. I did not expect them to interpret the story this way.

The fact is, this reader is “wrong” because it’s not what I meant when I wrote (nothing happened to the cat, the alcohol part of the chapter is not related to the cat’s behavior).

This reader is also right because this IS what I wrote. The cat is hiding for plot purposes, but the plot also includes the pet-sitters getting drunk. I implied them making out, then regretting it later, thus behaving weirdly around each other, which was meant as comic relief.

I have seen replies to similar comments and needless to say people get into fights over such misunderstandings.

Here is my reply:

Myulalie: I would like to make the official statement that nothing bad happened to the cats D:

Ragnor & Jace's shenaningans were meant to hint at drunk making out and nothing more. The worse thing Church had to go through is second hand embarrassment I promise ♥ I can't bring myself to traumatise Church and I'm glad you pointed out that it sorts of look like something was wrong with him ^^ The only thing "wrong" is the plot device I used to have malec move in together haha :')

I appreciate this reader trusting me enough to point this out and letting me know how they feel.

I think it’s important to be aware of how this can be read. A beta would probably have told me how the chapter looked from an external point of view and suggested writing the same idea differently. As things are, I didn’t have a beta-reader for this fic.

Here is the reader’s reply:

Reader: Lol, good to know, although in my experience cats bring it on themselves, nosy little voyeurs that they are....

See how we solved the problem by simply having a conversation? This is why I appreciate concrit and do my best to treat readers well.

edit: upon checking in with the reader to make sure the post sat well with them, they told me they never meant it as criticism and actually found the chapter funny, their comment was written in a sarcastic manner that I totally missed!

There, you have it. I am full of good intentions and I still miss some of the meaning of the comment!

There was a second comment on the following chapter.

I’ll just mention that one of the cats dipped his paws in a can of paint and made a mess on the wall. One of the character makes a pet account on Instagram to post pictures of the cat’s “artwork” with paint.

Reader: I always love a story that ends on a happy ever after, although I do think alec was taking a big chance tying the rings to the cats collars, especially after the paint incident... we won’t go in to what I think of people having Instagram accounts for their pets, although the paining does sound nice...

This was a very cute story and I’m glad that they found their forever person :grin:

If you don’t get it, this reader and me disagree on pet accounts.

The fact is, they are allowed to express themselves, and they did it respectfully. I don’t think this comment is rude, and I don’t think this reader feels “entitled”. Quite the contrary, they’re polite and felt comfortable enough to let me know what they think.

I didn’t argue with them. My reply consisted in politely reminding everyone who might read this story that this is a work of fiction, and that it’s here for both the reader’s and the author’s entertainment.

Myulalie: Well, I definitely don't recommend doing your proposal this way IRL, fortunately stories are a safe space to make crazy proposals for entertainment's sake :')

I'm glad you liked the ending! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me all throughout the story, I really appreciated our chats ♥

edit: I thought we disagreed. We chatted again and they told me they don't have IG so they don't see the point of running 2 accounts, which fair. Because I used to run a pet account for my dog, I felt "attacked" where I absolutely wasn't.

One more example of misinterpretation!

I think the only way forward is together.

Authors deserve respect for their work, it doesn’t exempt them from being polite. Readers might need some sort of education on “comment etiquette”, and should be respected in return.

I want this platform to be a safe space for authors AND for readers.

#pearling down to business #on writing #commenting #comment culture #ao3 #concrit #constructive criticism #fanfiction

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aliciameade · 4 years

Text

Santa's Little Helper - Merry Pitchmas 2019

Merry Pitchmas to @brandneweyesx!

Summary: Beca needs to earn some extra cash so Chloe hooks her up with a job at the mall. And maybe her motives aren't totally innocent.

Rated: T

(Also on AO3)

“Just cover me one more time; you know I’m good for it,” Beca says, giving her best big doe-eyes that she knows will win over Chloe. She doesn’t take advantage of the known weakness that often, but it’s useful when she does.

She watches Chloe sigh yet nod in agreement. “Okay. You know, if you’re so broke, I could try to put in a good word at a few of the stores in the mall. They all staff up for the holidays.”

Beca’s instinct is to reject it; she’s busy enough as it is with figuring out how the Bellas will defend their national title and repeat as champions. Oh, and attending class. She does that most days, too. She’s also flat broke as a result of her packed schedule and Chloe’s paid Beca’s share of the Bella house bills for the last three months.

“Fine,” Beca says, resigned. “But nothing lame like Cinnabon or hocking hand lotions at a kiosk. Get me in at Journeys or Sunglass Hut. Somewhere I can get a discount on stuff I actually want to buy.”

She smiles into Chloe’s shoulder when she gets tackled by a wholly unnecessary and welcome hug. “I’ll do my best. I can’t believe we’re going to work together!”

“Do not get me a job at Victoria’s Secret.”

“What—too tempting to look at all the pretty girls?”

“Shut up,” Beca huffs while pushing Chloe off her. She schools her face into a strong pout with a hefty glare that earns her a giggly kiss to her cheek.

“Don’t worry,” Chloe says, voice dropping to a whisper, “your secret’s safe with me.”

Beca’s pout turns into a furious blush. She’s still getting used to the whole someone-knows-she’s-gay thing. Chloe was the first—and remains the only—person she’s come out to. It’s been kind of nice getting to talk about it, even if it feels a lot like learning to ride a bike without training wheels.

It’s helped that Chloe had made no secret about her own bisexuality, and her current favorite hobby is quietly pointing out (or texting pictures of) girls she thinks Beca might find attractive and prodding her for an opinion. It’s also often accompanied with, “I can talk to her for you if you want.”

Beca’s been dismissive of the options, begrudgingly admitting that, “Yes, that girl is pretty,” but, “No, please don’t talk to her for me.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” is the reason she provides when Chloe asks why not.

“What if we went on a date instead?” is the answer she wishes she could give,” but, “No, please don’t talk to her for me.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” is the reason she provides when Chloe asks why not.

“What if we went on a date instead?” is the answer she wishes she was brave enough to give instead.

“Okay, no lingerie stores,” Chloe laughs, interrupting Beca’s thoughts. “Let me see what I can rustle up for you.”

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

When Beca shows up at the mall the following Thursday afternoon, she’s there via what seems like one step away from an illegal hustle based on the lack of information provided by the man who had called her.

“Southeast entrance. 4:00. Ask for Randall.”

Turns out the southeast entrance isn’t where she’s going; a man identified as Randall leads her through a service entrance and into a network of nondescript, neutral-colored hallways. She’s considering texting Chloe and asking what exactly she’s about to walk into or if she needs to have her family prepare ransom money when Randall pushes open a door into an employee locker room.

Her apprehension eases considerably at the normalcy that comes with it. Just walls of blue lockers, a few benches, and a vending machine.

“163,” he says, pointing vaguely.

“They’re assigned? What is this, high school?” she asks with a laugh, only he doesn’t laugh back and she sobers, apprehension immediately returning. She follows his orders though, glad to put some distance between them, and pops the latch on locker 163.

“What is this?” she asks, pointing at its contents as she turns around, but Randall is already leaving and has offered no further instruction or clarity. “Cool, cool, cool,” she says with a nod as she turns back to face her reality.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

“We need to talk,” she texts Chloe, accompanied by a photo of the atrocious red and green outfit hanging in her locker before stuffing her phone into the pocket of her green skirt (at least it has pockets). The candy cane-striped leggings are itchy, the corsetted top is, in her opinion, too racy for Christmas, and honestly, don’t even get her started on the hat.

At least she can wear her own boots.

Unsure where to go, she stomps out the same exit Randall had gone and nearly runs into the man waiting on the other side of the door.

“Let’s go,” he says before dialing a number on a weirdly out-of-date flip phone.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? I mean, I have a pretty good idea but it’d be nice to know—“

She stops mid-sentence when a door opens and she’s pushed (not led) right into the open floor of the shopping center just meters away from what is clearly the back of the mall’s installation of Santa’s Workshop, a noisy, bright monstrosity designed as a cash-grab for parents who need Instagram content. She’s avoided it like the plague every season while shopping, and now it seems the avoidance has ricocheted back upon her ten-fold.

She turns around looking for Randall but he’s gone and the door she was booted through is closed and the only thing left for her to do is to explore the obvious: she approaches the back door of the workshop and knocks while considering ding-dong-ditching.

The door swings open and a man that looks to be about her age, maybe a bit younger, sticks his head out. He’s dressed similarly but has a noticeable amount of rouge on his cheeks and he’s definitely wearing body glitter. “Beca?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Just in time; I need a damn break. Get in here.”

She’s half-pulled into the structure which is much less magical inside than its exterior, save for a few deliberately placed decorations that can be seen if one looks in from the front windows. There are a couple of overstuffed chairs, a Christmas tree, a fake fireplace, and a plain table and chairs that sit in the back out of sight for employees. “Um, I don’t really know what I’m doing here. Literally and figuratively,” she adds hoping for at least a smile but instead, she gets a blank stare.

“You’re an elf. Go be an elf.” With that, her new, nameless coworker disappears out the back as if such an explanation is suitable for someone’s first day on a job, as basic as it might seem.

“And a Merry Christmas to you,” she says with a sarcastic bow in his direction. She checks her phone expecting a response form Chloe but she hasn’t replied so she does the only thing she can do.

She puts her phone away and opens the front door of Santa’s Workshop to the cheers (and screams) of children and a loud, “Ho, ho, ho! Here’s another of my little helpers!” from an unimpressive mall Santa who looks at her with what should be a criminal level of disdain. Or pity. “Well, let’s not keep the good girls and boys waiting!” He gestures at the line that has no end in sight and Beca figures there’s only one thing to do.

“Okay, little guy,” she says, reaching out to take the hand of the next child in line, “let’s visit Santa!”

She’s going to have some very strong words for Chloe when she sees her tonight.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

“Dude, you said you were going on a break! It’s been at least two hours,” she whispers harshly under her breath when the elf she replaced returns. All he offers is a shrug and takes up a position at the front of the line to pass off the children to Beca.

At least she doesn’t have to walk back and forth trying to control the kids anymore. If they make it as far as her, most of them are agreeable to her lifting them on to Santa’s lap without too much of a fuss.

Her back is aching by the time someone tells her that she can take a dinner break and her hands are so uncomfortably sticky that she knows she’s destined to wake up puking tomorrow thanks to some illness she’s acquired. She pushes through the front door of the workshop and makes a beeline for the giant pump bottle of hand sanitizer, briefly considering bathing with it but settles on slathering it only on her hands and arms.

A check of her phone reveals to her her worst nightmare.

A photo, sent from Chloe, of Beca standing on the porch of Santa’s Workshop looking less than impressed by her situation, staring off into the distance contemplating her existence.

Only the photo was sent to the Bellas’ group chat, not just Beca, and there are at least fifty texts of varying levels of amusement and threats of blackmail that follow it.

She’s typing out a message intended just for Chloe to convey her irritation as she exits through the back door only to find the would-be recipient of her words waiting for her wearing exactly the smile Beca imagined her sporting when she sent her evil, evil photo to the girls.

“You!” she growls, her stride changing to stalk toward her co-captain. “You knew about this!”

“You asked me to get you a job, Bec!” Chloe says, voice so high and eyes so bright with mirth that it’s impossible for Beca to maintain any level of ill-will toward her. “So I got you a job.”

Beca pokes her squarely in the chest. “This wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“No?”

“I specifically said nothing lame.”

“It’s not lame,” Chloe grins. “I love Christmas!”

“Right. You love Christmas.”

Her correction goes unnoticed (or ignored) by Chloe. “I knew you’d make a good elf.”

Beca crosses her arms. “And why is that? Choose your words carefully.”

“Because I knew you’d look adorable in the costume.” Her eyes roam Beca in what feels like a slightly invasive manner. “And I was right.”

Beca blushes despite herself. “I look like an idiot.”

“But an adorable idiot. Are you on break?”

Beca lets her comment slide. “Yeah.”

“Awes. Me, too. Let’s go to the food court.”

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Beca should have known that going to the food court in full elf attire would garner attention, especially from children. They flocked to her asking about Santa like pigeons to tossed breadcrumbs and if not for the stupidly cute way Chloe watched her while it happened, she would have probably done something to get herself fired on her first day, like yelling that Santa isn’t even real and to get the fuck away from her.

“You know you owe me. Big time,” she says as Chloe walks her back to the workshop.

“If I’m not mistaken, you actually owe me. That’s why you’re here.”

“Right,” Beca grumbles.

“But seeing you dressed up like this is definitely worth more than the money you owe me. Let’s call it even.”

“What? Dude, no,” Beca says, feeling immensely guilty that Chloe’s offering to forgive the nearly $100 she owes. “I’ll pay you back.”

She feels Chloe grab her hand once they’re behind the workshop and sidle up alongside her to whisper conspiratorially. “Tell you what: give me a private tour of Santa’s Workshop after you close. Then we’ll call it even.”

Beca’s stomach flip-flops, maybe from the mall sushi she just ate or maybe from Chloe being so close and sounding so suggestive. “I don’t think I’m supposed to do that.”

Chloe clicks her tongue and the fact that it happens so close to Beca’s ear makes her shiver. “Everyone knows Santa’s Workshop after-hours is the place to be. You just have to know someone to get in. And now I know you.”

Beca can’t help but smirk a little. “You make it sound like it’s the hottest new club.”

“Well, maybe not quite,” Chloe says with a shrug and puts a bit of space between them once again. “But I do want to see it.”

“It’s just a big empty box.”

“Then who cares if I see it?” Damn Chloe and her logic.

“Fine. What time does this thing close? I don’t even know who my supervisor is. Or when my shift ends.”

“Mall closes at 9:00. Santa at 8:30.”

Beca checks her very non-elf-like watch and groans that it’s only 6:30. “Then meet me here at 8:30.”

Chloe gives her one of her excited squeals and a kiss on her cheek before scampering away back toward her much less lame job at Aeropostale with a wave.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

She spots Chloe spying on her in the open plaza of the mall when she’s helping the other elf close up the workshop (which involves little more than placing a sign in front of the door that reads Santa’s checking his lists - come back tomorrow!) and she throws a glare or two her way.

Chloe laughs at them and when Beca disappears into the workshop house to exit through the back, she sees Chloe all but skipping around it to meet her. Beca lets her fellow elf depart first who stops when he almost bumps into Chloe waiting at the back door. Beca’s immediate reaction is to panic that she’s in trouble but instead, he turns around smiling and says, “Nice one, honey. And on your first day.”

She doesn’t have a chance to ask what he means because he’s out the door and Chloe’s stepping in, closing it behind her.

“Why did he look at me that way?” Beca asks, trying to catch sight of him through a side window as he departs.

“I don’t know,” Chloe says airly. “This is cool!”

“Uh, sure,” Beca says as she steps aside so Chloe can explore what little there is to the place. She watches her try out both chairs, wondering aloud which one is Santa’s and which one is Mrs. Claus’s while taking more than one selfie.

“Come sit on my lap,” Chloe says and it makes Beca wonder if she heard correctly.

“What?”

“Come on,” she repeats, patting it. “Don’t think I’m not getting a picture with Santa’s cutest elf in his workshop.”

“Oh, my God, stop,” Beca says with a roll of her eyes. “I’ll do it, but only if I get photo approval.”

“Deal,” Chloe grins, holding out her arms expectantly.

As if it’s really some big chore for Beca.

She perches cautiously on Chloe’s knee only to get pulled back until Chloe’s arm is around her waist, the other poised in the air with her phone at the ready.

“Say, ‘Have a holly jolly Christmas!’”

“Not saying that,” Beca says but she smiles for the photos anyway.

A few minutes and many photos (and one photo approval) later, Chloe has a new Instagram post and Beca has days of ridicule lying ahead. She’s also still basically on Chloe’s lap, the two of them shifting to share the chair, though Beca’s legs have to drape awkwardly over Chloe’s to fit.

“You know,” Chloe starts as she wiggles to get her phone into her pocket, “I’ve worked at this mall for three Christmases and I’ve never been invited to the workshop.”

“Should I know why that’s significant?”

“Well,” she says as she settles again, her free hand now taking up Beca’s to start playing with her fingers absentmindedly, “this is totes the make-out spot in the mall.”

Beca nearly chokes. “What?”

“I told you: it’s VIP. You have to be invited. It’s like, the law of the mall.”

“And you thought making me an elf would get you in? Dude, I’m not going to be a lookout while you hook up with someone in here.”

“No, silly,” Chloe laughs. “I didn’t mean that. I wanted you to invite me.”

Beca feels like her ears are on fire. “What?”

“You wanna make out?”

Beca’s sure she’s now entirely engulfed in flames, and Chloe’s hand resting on her hip isn’t helping matters. “Dude, what?”

“We don’t have to,” Chloe quickly follows with. “Unless...unless you want to? Maybe? I’m not trying to make anything weird, I just thought, you know, I like you, and now that I know you like girls, too, I just thought maybe...”

Beca’s brain tunes out after that because Chloe’s turned from a giggly, cuddly friend to a rambling ball of nerves; she can even feel how tense Chloe is beneath her. She tunes out because Chloe’s asking Beca if she wants to kiss. Each other. And something about Chloe having thought about it?

“Okay.” She doesn’t know where the word comes from but her brain spits it out and it cuts off Chloe.

“...Okay?” Chloe repeats slowly, as though unsure she heard what she thinks she heard.

Beca feels seconds from full-on panic so she just nods.

“Oh. Cool,” Chloe says, the uncertainty and tension starting to ease. “So…”

“So…” Beca repeats and finds herself adjusting her position next to Chloe so they’re less cheek-to-cheek and more face-to-face.

Or lips-to-lips, as it were. Not that she’s thinking of such things. Mostly her heart os pounding in her ears and her stomach is tingling because there’s no doubt that Chloe’s staring at Beca’s mouth with intent and there’s getting to be less and less distance between them.

Beca holds her breath when they’re so close she can feel Chloe’s. But then Chloe stops.

“Are you sure?” she asks and Beca almost laughs.

“Chloe.” She hears herself and is embarrassed by how whiney it sounds but it makes Chloe’s soft lips split into a grin.

“I just wanted to hear you beg,” she whispers before erasing the last inch between them to press her lips to Beca’s.

Beca’s still reeling from the fact that Chloe is kissing her when her sassy and startingly sexy words register with Beca. She starts to pull away with a grunt of protest, not of the kiss but of Chloe’s cockiness, but Chloe laughs against her lips and slides the arm that’s been around Beca’s waist higher up her back so she can’t get far.

Beca doesn’t really want to get away from Chloe anyway. Or stop what’s currently happening. Because Chloe’s lips feel amazing touching hers and just when Beca starts to sink into it, Chloe changes things up and tilts her head in a way that makes them fit even better.

The sound Beca makes at the touch of Chloe’s tongue to her lips is just as embarrassing as whining about Chloe teasing her but the sound Chloe makes in response is the sexiest thing Beca’s ever heard.

It fuels her. Emboldens her to press a bit forward, to part her lips and let Chloe in to meet her tongue with her own.

That’s all it takes for them to be making out in the darkened Santa’s Workshop. A rambly suggestion and Beca nodding like a bobblehead. If she had known it would be that easy, maybe they could have done this a long time ago.

Not that she has any regrets. Not when Chloe’s tongue is playing with hers in a way that makes Beca think she might be showing off. Or maybe Chloe’s just an amazing kisser.

(She’s pretty sure it’s the latter.)

She doesn’t know how much time passes but eventually Chloe is the one to pull back with a satisfied-sounding groan. “God, that was really good,” she says before leaning in to kiss Beca again, a hard, fast, wet kiss that turns Beca on more in those three seconds than everything prior.

“Yeah,” Beca replies and she can hear in her own voice how breathless she sounds.

“And you look...smokin’ hot dressed up like this.”

Beca almost finds enough snark left inside her to turn that into a comment about Chloe having a weird Christmas kink, except as soon as she thinks about Chloe having kinks of any kind, her mind shuts down again and she’s the one suddenly kissing Chloe, hard, fast, and wet.

Chloe groans again when Beca pulls back and it’s all she can do to not lean right in for more. It feels too good and knowing it’s affecting Chloe like it’s affecting Beca is even better. She manages to refrain, though, because she’s noticing how dark it’s gotten. “Dude, they turned off all the lights.”

“Mall’s closed,” Chloe says, voice sounding as dreamy as she looks.

“And it’s okay for us to still be here?”

“Security will let us out. Do you want to do this again?” Chloe’s question follows her comment about security with no warning and it catches Beca off-guard.

“Uh, I mean…” she stumbles over what she should say; she doesn’t want to sound like the horny college student she is, and she doesn’t want to sound like she’s rejecting Chloe’s offer (?), but she definitely wants to do this again. “Amy’s crashing at Bumper’s tonight,” is how she answers it and it’s not until Chloe’s eyes go wide with surprise that she realizes how that sounded.

“I just meant...oh, my God,” she rushes, trying to figure out how to explain that she didn’t mean it ‘that way’ except she kind of did, just not all-the-way that way. Except despite tonight being their first kiss, she’s pretty sure she would sleep with Chloe tonight if things went that direction.

It’s not like she’s never thought about it.

“I just meant we can hang out in my room and be alone and see what happens.”

Chloe’s smiling at her struggle to answer and it only grows. “‘See what happens’? What if what happens is more of that?”

Beca thinks it’s a dumb question. Dumb dumb dumb. “Then that would be fine,” she says with a nod.

“Then let’s go home,” Chloe whispers before pulling Beca into one more kiss, all of it leaving Beca’s legs unsteady when she finally rights herself so they can leave the workshop.

“I can’t get over this,” Chloe says with a tug to Beca’s skirt before standing up as well. “Can you keep it on when we get home?”

“In your dreams.”

Chloe hums thoughtfully as she takes Beca’s hand to lead her out of the workshop and through the hidden hallways of the mall to the exit. “Oh, it will be.”

Beca has a lot of questions about that: what exactly she means, what exactly she’d be dreaming of, what exactly what’s happening means for them as friends, and if it means something more.

Instead of asking about any of that, however, she says, “I didn’t forget what you did. You’re not off the hook for this elf thing.”

The look Chloe tosses her over her shoulder makes her breath catch. “Guess I’ll have to make it up to you.”

The End

#bechloe #merry pitchmas #merry pitchmas 2019 #fanfic #brandneweyesx

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eternaljouska · 4 years

Note

"sunflower garden" and joshua for the title request thing 🌻💐💕 thanku!!

∆∆∆∆∆ Title Request 2/6 ∆∆∆∆∆

w/c: 4.3k

a/n: I am so so sorry this took a whole eon to finish. Thank you so much for requesting and waiting for this~~ I hope this is satisfactory. Also, I don’t know why this is so long when my plot is, again, questionable lololol

Sunflower is just a little price for such as little happiness. It’s gaseous, happiness. You can smell it. Before it’s gone with the wind just like that. But it’s worth it.

You wonder what would happen if you’re to give out diamond instead. Would people look at you crazy? Lord, even with the obnoxious yellow-orange flowers in your hands, people already look at you crazy.

You are out for a walk near the Han River—it’s a walk for today, not a run, not biking, but a walk—handing out one sunflower for anyone you deem needs some cheering up. There’s a little plastic tag attached to each flower; you’d take your time to write a short encouragement to hide inside it whenever you wait for the florist assistant to prepare your regular. And then you’d go on your way, hunting for gloomy people on your stroll. But that’s it, as long as the stock is still available.

There are people who’d be weirded out by your sudden involvement in their sweet miserable life. No offense. Really. You think all lives are just the same: sweet and simultaneously, miserable. Sometimes, not even sweet at all. But there are others who’d be pleasantly surprised.

There was this one kid from two weeks ago. She had cried, you didn’t know why, but you swept in anyway with your sun in the smiling flowers—please, excuse the poor attempt at replacing a knight in the shining armor. You had continued your pilgrimage after you wiped her tears dry and made sure that she smiled. But when you’re about to start on your religious self-reflection on the bridge, facing the holy sunset of the Han River, someone tugged at the hem of your baby blue sundress.

It was the little girl.

She stood in front of you, a bright smile challenging the sun behind you and a fresh baby breath posy inside both of her tiny palms. You fell on your knees and pulled her in a hug. Lord, you needed a hug. Before you pulled away, you noticed a shadow of a man standing a few feet away under the shade. It must’ve been her father, you’d thought and couldn’t help but think that sunflower needed to cost a lot more than it was.

That was the one time you’d felt the magic at its strongest. And just like humans did, you craved for more.

This kind of outing usually ends with you donating some water to the Han River. But that day, it didn’t. After the little girl ran towards the man, you’d turned around to face the sun with teary eyes. But you didn’t cry. You felt happy. And happiness was every drop of water swimming in the river in front of you. You just stood there, until it swallowed whole the dying sun.

However, today, you cry.

It’s not an ugly cry. People would think you’re a lunatic if they saw you like that. It’s just water, tears, streaming down your eyes and into the river. Your gaze follows the infinitesimal droplet giving in to gravity. You smile. You always think that you’re such a bad person. But now you feel like the best altruist, donating water for the Han River.

Lord, what a joke.

You see your tears falling to your arms hanging from the rail and then continuing their journey somewhere you can’t keep your eyes on. They rarely even fall into the river, just a very insignificant amount does. And now you’re acting as if at least a quarter of Han River is your tears.

You wish everyone was that little girl. Or her father. You wish that after almost a year doing the same set of activities would make people recognize you and finally return the hospitality with a simple hi or a ghost of an acknowledging smile. No one besides the people from the flower shop does. And as you cry, you think about why nobody’s ever walked to you to ask the reason for your tears.

Maybe they know not to meddle in such a sacred act of crying. Or maybe after almost a year, they know to let you be because you’ll stop eventually and go home. Until the day comes again for you to repeat the habit.

Maybe you should actually change sunflower with diamonds hanging from your neck and circling every inch of your arms, spending your ten-minute walk trying to blind everybody’s eyes. Maybe only that way would people see you. Or maybe not, since they’d be even more blinded to see.

You chuckle at the image of you with a pair of shiny sunglasses copying a supermodel, strutting with hands spread out to make an exhibition out of the diamonds in your possession. You’d lower the sunglasses when people look and throw one random bracelet their way and a necklace to the others. You swear you’re such a funny person, too bad nobody would stick around long enough for that side to start emerging. But then when your laughter dies, you feel pathetic. Have you been crying here because you want someone to notice? What an attention seeker.

And Joshua would have said otherwise and defended you—like he usually has—if only he hadn’t been caught completely off guard.

Joshua’s afternoon exercise is cycling from his neighborhood, around the Han River, and back home, the route only interrupted by a quick stop in his favorite smoothie shop. He rarely brings his friend with him because most of the time, they’ll very likely ruin his zen. They’d start an unnecessary race that messes with his pace and force him to pay for their smoothies and even have the nerve to blame him for the sweat their own bodies produce.

Today, he’s accompanied by Seungcheol and Soonyoung, both of which are clingy—as hell. And the amount of stress he got from his unwise decision was enough to last him half a lifetime. They had argued about who had the largest shadow—very important, he knows—and when Joshua pedaled faster to get ahead of them both, the disaster began.

Soonyoung was the first to realize his attempt to escape, and so he said, “See, Shua can’t take being close to you any longer. I know he only likes me.”

The guy reached his right in no time and Seungcheol, being the mature one that he is, raced him and singsong, “He can only tolerate you because I’m here, though.”

So that’s how Joshua wished a truck would kindly and gently run them over.

But that much stress he could handle. The additional dose they added when they started looking at you weirdly, he couldn’t.

Joshua walked out of the smoothie shop later than usual. All because his highly intelligent friends couldn’t notice the urgency of his tapping foot, the urgency of wanting to be in the right moment and in the right place. He already didn’t see you in his round about the Han River. There’s no way he’d miss you on the bridge. So he did what he knew would raise Seungcheol and Soonyoung’s interest: betting in a race.

Once they all reached the finish line, which obviously was picked by Joshua for a specific reason, Seungcheol and Soonyoung immediately noticed you and wondered aloud as to why you’re crying in front of the bridge. Soonyoung squeaked and almost shouted at you, thinking that you’re planning to jump over the bridge.

It was a fair thought. Joshua was like that the first time he saw you. He’d hesitated to say something, so he waited. He waited with bated breath until the sun completely set and you wiped your face with your hands and left. You rode a lemon-colored bike that matched the yellow of the sunflowers in your hands. You had caught him following you home, and Joshua could only stutter out his explanation. But in the end, when the shadows of worry cleared out of your eyes, you smiled instead. And with a thank you, you gift him the last of your sunflowers.

Joshua doesn’t see your bike anywhere near you, and that fact is somehow unsettling. He has come every weekend, sometimes early enough to witness you doing your sunflower patrol, to know that you only leave your bike home when you do your run. And you doing your run means that your day is worse than usual.

So today is one of those days.

And on those days, he, more than anything, wants to give you back all the sunflowers in the world.

But his friends, flanking him, are watching you with pity in their eyes. The balloon-seller who stopped Soonyoung from shouting for you earlier had told them to let you be, saying that you’ve been here a lot and perhaps just like the attention people give. It had made Joshua wondered for a split second, just how many people in the park recognize you. But it was the least of his priority. It’s the middle-aged man’s remark and Seungcheol’s question that came after he left.

She’s attention seeker or something?

Joshua would’ve defended you against the balloon seller’s comment and his friend’s question any day if it’s not for the fact that he’s too late—if it’s not for the fact that you’ve been listening to the exchange all along.

You meet Joshua’s dark orbs and grasp the worry swarming within them. It’s almost like the first time that you saw him, when you confronted him for following you home. Only back then, his worry was slightly muted by a hint of curiosity. And now, listening to the conversation of the men around him, you think you have an idea as to why he’s looking at you like he’s ready to throw himself under a bus.

The words that his friends said didn’t hit the mark, not after you just admitted it to yourself earlier, admitted that you indeed want the attention, just not the one that people have been giving you—if they even spare you any. You know that Joshua feels horrible about his friend’s question or the seller’s comments. Or maybe because of the fact that you heard them, you can never know.

You’ve seen him around on the weekends, Joshua. You’ve seen hovering around the bridge, watching you—or the sunset. And sometimes he might follow you to your neighborhood. You know you should be worried, but after that first meeting, you’ve accepted his presence in your periphery. If only he would move a little bit to your line of vision.

Joshua never said hi. He never uttered any more word after he left with your sunflower that first night. And he blames his insurmountable stupidity for that. He likes to conjure up his ideal next meeting with you, the perfect words, the majestic setting. There would be no more of that, he’s afraid. His friends have ruined it. You had met his stare for long seconds before you turned around and left for the direction of your neighborhood. And Joshua hadn’t been able to follow you because of his hellish friends. They finally noticed that his expression was made up of not only of exhaustion only when they invited him to Wonwoo’s house for games.

Joshua brushed them off, but they knew. As hellish as they were, they’re still his friends. So he told them about you. Their reaction at the end of his story, the immense guilt written in the line of their faces, was a little victory for him. But then they forced him to go to where you live and send their apology before they do it themselves since she doesn’t know them yet.

And so here he is, standing in front of a house approximately a third of his in size, but of which small lawn is in much better care than his wider one. He smiles at the variety of flowers that it has, imagining you crouching in front of each one and giving them such meticulous attention. He realizes it then that he knows nothing about you other than your love for flowers. You must have spent a lot of money on flowers alone, but the house in front of him gives him the impression that you come from a more humble family. Do you work? Or are you still in school? Do you live with your parents at all? Are they still present? Suddenly, the prospect of talking to you, trying to draw an explanation of your daily ritual, seems very absurd for him, for someone who has no clue of who you are. It seems beyond personal. It seems out of the line.

Joshua grunts and knocks his head to the solid surface in front of him and let it stay there only to realize five seconds too late just what it was that he has done. He heard the running steps first and then suddenly you’re in front of him.

Joshua’s eyes are blown wide in surprise as he takes a few scurrying steps backward.

You still have your face on the window, flipping the curtain a little bit to identify the person outside your door, but Joshua is stupefied. You were so close to him, so close that if the window isn’t there, his lips probably have had brushed against your temple. This is so not the moment for him to think about such a thing, not when he could’ve broken your glass window with his head bump. Not when you’re standing on the doorway, eyes equally wide, with your almost translucent long white nightdress.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“Is this about your friends?” In the span of a couple of seconds, you have closed the door behind you and stood less than three feet away from him. You’re hugging yourself. The night air must be cold for you in your nightdress, and Joshua feels a knot forming in his stomach. He can’t imagine you chose to sacrifice the warmth of your house as to not let him inside is a good sign. But after he let it settled, he knows it’s the sensible option. He would be wary if you had let him in that easily, he’s still a stranger after all.

And to be frank, if you had the time to consider your action, you don’t know what choice you would choose. You had been hiding under your blanket, going over the conversation you heard and kept listening to a couple of hours earlier when there’s a glaring sound coming from outside. You had jumped out of your bed and ran to your window to see, but you weren’t prepared for the sight in front of you. It took you a fraction of seconds to put the name into its face, and without being completely aware of what you did, you had opened the door and walked a few steps towards Joshua.

He scans your stance, takes a short glance towards your house, and then stares back at you, which makes you feel suddenly conscious of how you present yourself in front of him. “Say it,” you demand, placing more force on your voice than necessary.

“I’m, I’m sorry. They’re sorry. They wanted me to say it because they don’t know how to do it. Because you don’t know them.”—he clears his throat again—“Not that we know each other, but you know, I’m more, um, familiar with you, you know. But they want to say sorry too, I mean, I come so that you can meet them, that is, if you want.” You hear him grumbles, probably scolding himself for the quality of the words coming out of his mouth, not that you think they are bad.

“Hm,” you mumble noncommittally before you continue, “It’s okay. You don’t have to feel sorry.”

“But—“

“Their words missed the mark. I do want attention. That doesn’t make it right, but… I was thinking about their words, and, um, they brought out some truth I’ve been struggling with. So it’s okay, I guess.”

Joshua doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know how to, so he just looks at you, struggling to contain the questions building up inside of him. He wants you to share that truth. He wants to know more about your sunflower patrol, but he’s not certain you would tell him even if he begs you. Lord, he wants to know. Why had you forgiven his friends’ words so easily? Why had you accepted them? He was about to burst when you finally slice the thick silence and blurt out, “You never said hi.”

Joshua blinks. And he can feel his whole body burns red with the shame washing over him. All the whys he’s asking is now turned inward. Why, why hadn’t he said something? Why hadn’t he come to you? What’s his reason? His excuse?

When he finds the answer, he let out a soft scoff. “Because I’m afraid. Because I’m a coward.”

He would never guess that you could deviate so far from his expectation, but you did. You smile and whisper, strangely proudly, “And I’m an attention-seeker.” He doesn’t know why, but that brings out a smile out of him also. But then you turn around and walk towards your house, to quickly for him to register. His smile was almost replaced by panic when you say, “It’s cold. Let’s talk inside.”

She brews him a cup of hot chamomile tea, and Joshua has the sure knowledge that the warmth within him comes not from that tea or the four walls encircling him. “I, um, I’m sorry. I was afraid you’d think of me strangely if I walked to you when you, um, you know, when you were crying on the bridge.” She laughs at that, and the sound of it warms him even more.

“And yet you follow me home after,” she taunts. Joshua’s eyes grow wide again, he always makes sure to keep his distance and to bike away once you enter your neighborhood. He’s never followed you home completely like that first night he saw you. “Don’t worry. After that first night, I don’t mind your presence anymore. But I do wish you’d just come to me and offer your company directly.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just—“

“Stop saying sorry or I’ll kick you out of my house.” Ah, right, your house. He hasn’t had the chance to look around with his nerve eating up him. But this house… The white wall opposite of the window, the wall in front of him, has considerable amount of picture frames: some containing real pictures, some with dried flowers inside. So you live alone, he concludes. The sound of a cleared throat snaps him out of his attempt to learn more about you by observing your home, and Joshua wishes he could be clever enough to try a more subtle method.

“I wanted them to be diamonds, you see,” you start, but Joshua has no clue of what you’re trying to say. “The sunflowers. I might not seem like it, but I have the money to do so. But that would attract the wrong kind of attention. Even sunflowers already did so.”

Joshua’s heart races at the realization of the direction this conversation is going. You’ll let him know. You’ll let him know. He bites his lips to prevent himself from saying stupid things that will make you stop telling him your story.

“When you do something good, is it so wrong that you wish a little something in return? I just want to be that unexpected kindness someone’s hoping to make their day better, you know, like when you have such a bad day, and the smile of the bus driver acknowledging you is like the greatest present you’ve received in your life? I can’t hope people stop and compliment me every time I have a bad day to better my mood. I used to go to this park back then when I was a child. They have a small section dedicated for sunflowers. I remember how happy I always was when I visited the park. So I tried one day, giving out flowers, sunflowers, to stranger on the street. And I keep doing it. Because the surprise on their faces, their smiles, they make me feel good about myself. Wow, I realize it now. Saying things out loud really makes a difference, huh?”

“W-what?” Joshua stutters out, caught off guard once again. “It’s not—It’s not bad that you do it to make yourself happier. It may sound self-centered, but everyone is all about themselves first anyway, right? That’s how it supposed to be. You take care of yourself. And what you do while doing so, it makes other people happy also. So that’s good, right?”

You let out a single laugh. “You think so? I just— the people who are there a lot, they say things that make me feel bad about myself. After hours of going around with flowers, I’d hear them say those things and the happiness just gone. It becomes a burden, somehow, I don’t know.”

Joshua doesn’t know what to say, and never in his life before does he feel more useless than he does at this moment. That is, until he remembers what he shoved inside his pocket before he rode his bicycle to your house. He jerks into movement and he can feel your apt attention on him. He reaches into his pocket, takes the small object out, and offers it to you.

You accept the small pin from his hand. It’s a sunflower pin with eyes and a curving lines on its face and some words engraved on the bottom part of it. I am a smiling flower, it says. It’s so pretty, so so pretty even with tears starting to blur your vision. “I’m not good with words. I’m always scared of saying the wrong words, so I resort to not saying anything,” Joshua says, his hand reaching for the back of his neck now. “When I saw that pin, you came to my mind, so yeah… Um, I know not everyone appreciates flowers, but I know you do. You… I think you’re like a smiling flower, so I hope that more than anyone, you can appreciate yourself, like you do flowers.”

You’re stunned, still looking down at the pin, but with tears clearly lining your eyes. You look up and smile at him. You notice his surprise at the sight of your tears, but you pay it no heed. You rise from your seat and he follows suit in reflex, but that action allows you more freedom to do what you want to do next.

Joshua believes he’s already dead when you wrap your arms around him, but his thundering heart crushes that belief. It’s not his current main problem, though. His ultimate problem now is where he’s supposed to put his own hands, which are now limp on his side. He raises them slowly only to find that you already let him go. “Thank you,” you whisper.

“Oh? Yes, no problem,” he answers instantly. His heart still won’t calm down, but that’s not what bothers him at the moment. He knows it’s coming. Goodbye. It’s coming any time now. And he’s not ready. He doesn’t know if he’d have the courage to talk to you again if he has to say goodbye now. Quick. Think of something. “Oh!”

“Oh?”

“The, um, the meeting with my friends? Can you, would you want to do that?”

“Ah, that,” you chuckle softly, “of course.”

Both of you share a few moments of silence until you chuckle again, “Goodnight, um…”

“Joshua,” he says. In all honesty, you already know his name, but you refuse to present yourself like a creep that you’d already know his name, in case he doesn’t know yours yet. You walk him to your door and repeat what you said, “Goodnight, Joshua.”

“Goodnight…”

“Y/n.”

“Y/n,” he speaks your name as if it’s the first time he’d heard it, and it may be so, for you don’t think even the sellers around the Han River know your name. You don’t have friends that would holler your name like crazy as Joshua’s friends, that’s why, although you imagine that that certain friends would meet you soon enough for their said apology.

Just before you close your door on him—knowing that he would not go until you do so—you call him, “Hey, Joshua.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not as cowardice as you think you are, you know. I’ve seen you defending me against people’s comments in the park.” His eyes widen again, and you decide that is one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen. When it’s apparent that he’s handled the surprise of you knowing his small act, you say your request, “Talk to me tomorrow?”

There, there, his eyes grow even wider, and you chuckle. “Make sure that you do. Be careful on your way home. Goodnight.”

“Y/n, wait.” The closing door stops moving and you open it a little bit more to let your head out. “I know this place. The, um, the owner is my mom’s friend. She loves flowers too, has her own garden and all. But only recently did she become obsessed with sunflowers. You know, one day her youngest daughter brought a sunflower home, and she suddenly felt this renewed and expanse fondness of sunflowers.” Joshua’s stare flickers upward and finally notice the eyebrow you raised at him.

Your point? You seem to say.

“My point is, I want to take you there. I can ask for her permission and take you there,” he finishes with a long exhale.

“For the meeting with your friends?” you ask.

“No! I mean, no,” he clears his throat, “No, for, um, our talk, tomorrow. I’m going to make sure that I do.”

He smiles at the end of his sentence, and you return it. “Can we bike there?”

“It’s pretty close, yeah.”

“Alright, then. Pick me up anytime.” You bite your lower lip to stop yourself from laughing and for the third time tonight, you half-whispers, “Goodnight, Joshua.”

“It is,” Joshua murmurs after you closed your door, his smile bigger than the one on the sunflower pin’s face. “It is a good night indeed.”

#thesvttown #joshua hong #hong jisoo fluff #joshua fluff #seventeen fluff #hong jisoo #jisoo fluff #fluff #joshua hong fluff #joshua scenario #hong jisoo scenario #seventeen scenario #seventeen imagines #seventeen oneshot

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arcticwaters · 4 years

Text

so now that it’s been over a month and i’ve seen frozen 2 three times, i thought i’d finally give my thoughts on it. i’ll format it like i did for endgame, with a “good, meh, bad, what i’d change/etc” bullet list. this might be a little incoherent because i have a hard time expressing with words what i love about this franchise so much but i’ll try.

tldr: i love elsa with my soul entire, i’m happy that anna wasn’t sidelined, but kristoff, while funny, could’ve been better

what i liked

EVERYTHING about elsa. i love that elsa takes a little more center stage in this one; not because i dislike anna but i just love elsa. legit, each time her parts in some things never change comes up, i start to tear up because she’s just so beautiful, her animation in that little part is so fucking bright and glowing and good.

also all of her outfits are so amazing, but especially that main traveling one. her holiday one is still my favorite but this one is like just touching that slightly more ““”masculine””” side that my butch ass could wear it and probably still feel ok. (also all the details on everyone’s clothing is fucknig stunning, i see new things every watch.)

it’s probably unnecessary to even praise the animation because duh of course it’s good, literally every animated movie i saw this year was beautiful but guys it’s stunning. i really gotta give it to that one scene of elsa where she’s trying to get a word in against anna and kristoff and she just flies seamlessly between so many different emotions and expressions.

there are parts about into the unknown that i don’t like (some of the verse lines are very “talk-y” like she’s just speaking to music, and in general i don’t like songs where the chorus is just the title repeated) but oh man when it gets to “everyone i’ve ever loved” and idina starts to show her range that’s when it really gets fist pumping and i LOVE the horns that come in near the end. there are parts could rival let it go, but not quite.

i’m really glad i didn’t listen to the soundtrack before seeing this because show yourself is an experience. (i also didn’t watch any cast interviews, so i didn’t know that there would be “two let it go’s.”) every time i’m just blown away to tears because of the sheer power of this scene; and not just it’s message. the vocals, the animation. how happy my girl looks. i just love her so much.

speaking of anna earlier, during the months going into this movie i was worried that anna wouldn’t have much to do; that focus would be on elsa too much. and while there’s never “too much” elsa for me, anna is still an important part of this franchise; frozen 1 is her movie. and i’m very happy that not only was she still very relevant, but she got the whole climax. i love that she is also the bridge, and as much the fifth spirit as elsa. i have mixed feelings on her being queen that i’ll get into, but don’t have anything against the idea of it, and i think she’ll be ok.

i have,,,,, issues with kristoff’s song, and his role in general, but the song itself is like a legitimately good song and it’s so goddamn extra that i laugh my ass each time. i never realized how damn pleasant his voice is.

also i still hella bro-ship him and elsa; adorable in-laws. i wish there was more of them, but i love that they genuinely seem to love each other and he hugs her !!!

also it’s so funny that elsa has no problem with this weirdly smart reindeer just, in her castle.

mattias !!! i was so nervous about him, sure that disney would make him the secret villain (i did not want them to fuck up this franchise’s first main black character, considering its biggest criticism is how damn white it is, something i do agree with.) but no he’s amazing. he’s hilarious and sweet and charming and fatherly. i fucking adored him. i really hope if there’s a third one he has a bigger role. he’s their grandpa now.

bruni is definitely very adorable and i love that elsa’s got her own pascal, but like pascal, i wish he looked more like a gecko? both of them have that super chibi, super “child’s toy” look to them, and it’s not that they look bad (tho i’m not fond of pascal’s series look) i just think i’d like them both more if they just looked like how real lizards did. the other animals in these movies look fine, why not the reptiles? also the nokk is cool and terrifying.

honeymaren and ryder!! wow what good gays??? and siblings too, thank god!! i totally thought they’d done a last minute hook up, but no.

i loved that they were dunking on hans so much. elsa and anna said “fuck you” to redeeming entitled white men who try to take advantage of and kill women.

i personally don’t count the “twist” with their grandfather as a true “secret villain twist” because he’s been dead for 34 years. it almost is, but to me it’s more of a reveal, the answer to a question set up at the beginning, a follow through to the idea of “normal” people fearing magic. and between this and WiR2, i kind of like this new trend of villain-less disney movies. like sure, villains are fine and i really did wish this movie would be the one to bring back those old classic hammy 90′s villains. but they’re trying something different, and after eight years of twist “gotcha!” villains, that’s not a bad thing.

the “pretty okay”

so i liked the spirits just fine; quite a lot actually, elemental spirits calling to elsa is a cool idea, as is her, and later anna, calming them. but i do kind of wish they’d been a little more... i dunno, consistent? like why was one of them a tiny blue lizard, another one is a horse but made of water, another is just the wind, and the last are a group? none of these are bad ideas on their own (i especially like that bruni and nokk are based on real world mythology.) but i wish they had either all been the same or all completely different. what if along with a fire lizard and water horse, there was a wind bird and a earth turtle, like a torterra? maybe the bird is made of wind like the nokk, and the turtle has eyes like bruni. or what if they could all shape shift and didn’t have one specific form? or you could follow the earth giants and have there be more than one spirit of the other three; more than one lizard/reptile, more wind, more nokks. (i like the animal ideas myself.)

i don’t love olaf, but i don’t hate him either. he has his moments - it’s actually kind of astounding that i find him as funny as i do - but i could still do without his songs, and wish his design was better. “samatha?” is a great joke tho.

i don’t really know how to feel about the “water has memory” thing but they are at least consistent with it and trying new lore for the world. it’s no weirder than tangled’s “sunlight dripped from the sun and made a flower” i guess.

i’ll get to it later, but this movie handled “shaking up the status quo by separating the main relationship” so much better than httd3.

what i’m not fond of

the pacing of this movie is pretty off. i’ve heard it was supposed to be longer, and you can feel it. elsa suddenly hearing the voice when we’re just barely out of the prologue. the journey to the forest itself being a montage. i honestly thought that would be a bigger part of the plot, and was looking forward to it. there’s actually kind of a part of me that wishes this movie was about the trip and the magical stuff is encountered through the journey, and the forest is ahtohallan or something, i dunno.

when elsa says she woke up the spirits, it’s treated as if it’s something she did with intent, and that is not at all the impression i got from into the unknown. (i suppose you could argue that her “are you out there, can you feel me?” lines are trying to show that she is waking them up on purpose.) maybe this is a result of things getting cut and hobbled together.

i like the idea of elsa and anna being part northuldran but ya’ll...... they white as fuck. if they wanted to make that more believable, they should’ve had more white looking northuldrans, but most of them aren’t, so it’s just like “where the hell did idunna come from??”

so kristoff. like i said, his song is hilarious and a jam; but it also grinds the movie to a dead halt. and i appreciate that it’s theme is talking about how you feel, but how he’s feeling is that he and anna are “drifting apart” all because of a few awkward conversations?? (you’re on a quest, my dude !!!! there are spirits and her sister is hearing a voice, of course she has other things to worry about.) then he disappears out of the movie.

plus i really don’t like that his entire arc is him trying to propose. for one thing, all of his attempts are just frustrating to watch, because they turn anna into an idiot. like i get that he’s nervous, but you’re telling me after three years, anna would misunderstand him that badly?? that him stumbling over his words would imply he wants to break up? (which thank god they didn't go anywhere with that.) i get that anna has her own issues with abandonment, but that just wasn’t funny or fun to watch. and literally all of kristoff’s problems in this movie happened because he felt the need to propose as soon as he possibly could. their kingdom was in danger, and they were going on a journey to find angry spirits, an enchanted forest, and a mysterious voice that only the person with magic could hear. he couldn’t have waited until they got home? nothing was stopping him from waiting until they were home safely and he had her full attention. my guy, just because your pet reindeer brother gave you an encouraging nod doesn’t mean you have to propose while your gf is thinking about her kingdom being flooded.

also anna hearing “oh he went off with that ryder guy” and taking it really hard?? for all she knew, he was hiding from the giants. they couldn’t have gone to find him?? they were in a trapped forest, and the northuldran people were right there to help them look. this conflict was extremely forced and only happened because they needed to get anna in that cave alone.

but what i really didn’t like about the proposal plot was that they did it at all. frozen 1 ends right when they begin dating; they weren’t even in love yet. kristoff, and thus their romance, doesn’t have much a presence in the shorts. and then, suddenly, he wants to propose in this? we missed three whole years of courtship. look, i don’t consider myself a “kristanna” shipper. like, it just is what it is, your standard canon disney ship. but i actually was interested in seeing what a romance between them was like considering we’ve seen nothing of it so far. why should i care about the start of their marriage when i barely have an idea of what they’re like as a couple? because what we see of their relationship in this movie was very.... basic.

tho it is funny how similar his role in this is to your classic female love interest.

so like i said, i love show yourself. i’m not mad at the fact that what elsa finds is basically her own self realization. but i wanted there to be something there. it’s not even clear what exactly it is. i, personally, don’t think the voice was actually her mother. i don’t think her mom’s spirit was calling to her, and i think that moment of them singing together was just Musical Magic™. that was just elsa revisiting the memory of her mom telling her the story. i think this was ahtohallan, magic itself, calling to her and using the familiar voice of her northuldran mother. but this is also not clear, and i would like it to be clear.

also i know the answer is “because none of this existed when frozen 1 was written” but i still have to wonder why the voice was calling elsa now.

also also, it’s weird that ahtohallan would punish elsa for trying to get the information to fix everything. i get the “you’ll be drowned” thing, but what if elsa hadn’t been able to send anna a message? what if they’d both been there? how could it have gotten fixed if she was dead? i think there should have been more of an established “if you want to know the truth/do the next right thing, you have to pay a price” or something, i don’t know.

i’m not upset at elsa and anna’s separation. (i would prefer it didn’t happen, but i’m not mad about it.) i know some people are, but they’re clearly still in contact, elsa still visits, they’re like a day and a half away from each other. they’ve got the nokk who got to arendelle from ahtohallan at the speed of a flood. i also don’t think this happened because elsa didn’t want to be queen; she spends this whole movie taking into consideration the needs of arendelle. i can believe that anna would make a good queen. what i’m not fond of is how this just like, happens. maybe this was cut, but this movie really needed an extra scene of the two of them talking and planting the idea that this is something anna would be ok with. that elsa is feeling like she doesn’t really belong in arendelle anymore (that also isn’t as well established as it could’ve been. but i guess this is the same woman who legit tried to live in an isolated castle so.) that’s a really really huge step, a huge change of the formula. you need a little more than just “oh i know what we should do.”

this isn’t something “bad” but i am kind of confused: is ahtohallan in the forest?? cause if it’s not, then how did elsa get out????

i don’t know how to feel about

arendelle’s fate. i’m not upset about it, because it wasn’t that arendelle had to fall, just the dam. this is a disney movie, and the people didn’t deserve to have their home destroyed because of the sins of one man. i’m confused at how elsa got there so fast, but i mean, i can believe that the literal spirit of water can just run that fucking fast. (i also think it was helping her make that ice wall.) but it would actually have been such an interesting move?? like what a direction for a disney movie to go, the pretty disney princess kingdom is destroyed.

i thought we were gonna see the people of arendelle and northuldra coming together to rebuild a new arendelle. and maybe arendelle citizens in northuldra, just like in the beginning, enjoying the magic and the spirits. that would’ve been pretty cool.

i don’t really understand why the fifth spirit is ice? like again i know it’s because this movie didn’t exist when F1 was written, but what does ice have to do with.... anything??? she can also kind of control water in this movie too, so?? my guess is it’s because ice is kind of a mix of all four? it’s a form of water, it can be in the air, it’s solid like earth/can be in the earth, and is the opposite of fire and can curb it. i dunno, that’s all i can think of for that.

also was elsa being the fifth spirit supposed to be a twist for us or for the characters? because it was really freaking obvious, but if it was only for the characters’ sake, then i’m fine with it. (maybe it was for the kids who were old enough to understand “oh there’s another spirit who could it be?” but young enough to not put together context clues. which is totally fine.)

what i would change

make elsa gay, for one. and this would’ve been so easy. the beginning has her in some kind of... meet up or something. have some male suitors there and she’s totally not interested, but oh, there’s a woman across the room and now she looks so much more comfortable. and then when she’s with honeymaren, now she’s looking all flustered and there’s a lot of meaningful looks. (fuck, have her out right say “i’m not interested in men” this is goddamn frozen.) you don’t have to give her a girlfriend - i’m super against this idea that lgb representation only counts if the character actually ends up with boyfriend/girlfriend - but you can still set it up and make her gay. (but by frozen 3, yeah, they’re totally dating.)

i would take out kristoff’s proposal and make his plot about something else. like the northuldran people are supposed to be sami, right? and isn’t kristoff sami? maybe he’s from there too! maybe his family was locked out of the forest or something, i dunno. he was also raised by magical trolls, so maybe he’s not from northuldra, but he feels a connection; because magic.

but if you must have him trying to propose, don’t make him bumbling through awkward attempts. make it so elsa’s helping him. (this also gives them more of a relationship to build on.) they’re the ones awake during the journey, and he asks her permission. then by the dam she’s like “so what’s you’re plan how’re you gonna do it show me.” have some fun with that instead of “you think i’m crazzzzzy?” (also imagine elsa and kristoff having a song together that’d be pretty sweet.)

with ahtohallan, i would just make it so the call was from the fifth spirit, which is just “magic” and we see it in the form of the colored lights that we see throughout show yourself (like a living aurora borealis, which we do actually see during all is found.) then it just passes the torch to elsa. that’s really all i needed.

so overall i did really like this movie a lot, but it’s not perfect by any means. i still don’t know if i like it more than the first or not; i wanna say, no, i like the first one more, but it’s really hard to say because they’re such different movies. but i’m mostly happy with what we got and i still wanna see it as many times as i can while in theaters.

#arctic says #frozen 2 #frozen #frozen 2 review

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years

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CSUaPr prt 60 ...

Cuba felt almost cruel as Keith held his husband’s hand. The week started slowly and Lord knows he nearly killed Luis over the dinner table, but Lance had bounced back so strong from those tentative first few days, by the fourth day he he’d finally gotten his wish to breast feed their boys, crying as he did which did all sorts of things for his heart as Keith panicked at the situation, only to find they were tears of happiness because he could actually do it. Now they were on Erathus, and Lance was recovering from his first surgery, with his second the following day. Taking the Talula, Daehra, Marco, and Lucteal were all staying at The Guilded Cage... the same place Keith was supposed to be right now. Visiting hours had long since passed, but no one had the heart to kick him out, though maybe they didn’t care he was there as it meant someone was watching Lance and his vitals carefully. The injection they’d given his husband to numb below the waist had triggered a seizure. When he’d come too, the situation had been explained to him carefully, to both of them really, by doctor that’d been Lance’s obstetrician. Technically she’d referred his case on to a close colleague, assisting where she could on providing pertinent information of Lance’s biology and the procedures they’d carried out on him before. The slow release capsule that’d been implanted should have lasted longer than it had, Lance’s quintessence burning through the capsule at an accelerated rate during the birth. Those were... mostly... her words, but given she hadn’t actually been there she could only work on theory. Lance had been pretty out of it, out of it enough to sob and beg Keith not to let them put something in his head. Now his husband was sitting there with a neat dressing over the small site where they’d attached some kind of electrical sensor that would essentially map the damage in Lance’s brain in a way ordinary tests couldn’t. Lance would be sleeping for the next 12 hours, meaning Keith could have left if he’d wanted and returned before Lance even knew he’d gone... but there was absolutely no way he was leaving his husband. He didn’t care if the staff remembered Lance from his previous visits. He didn’t care if Lance told him he should rest during the procedure. They’d quiznakking drilled into his husband’s goddamn head. He wasn’t moving. He hadn’t received Lance’s permission for the procedure. He’d acted on his own, knowing they couldn’t do anything about the tissue that may or may not have been removed, and that most probably they couldn’t do anything about the scarring without the chance of causing death, or at least permanent brain damage. His penance was to sit and watch. To stay by his husband side until he woke. Their twins were in the care of Marco... Keith almost snorting as he remembered the way Lance had completely overreacted to the news of Daehra and Marco dating. Yeah. His husband was a complete dork, and he’d never grow tired of it. It’d come about the second day of their trip after Jorge and Lance had spoken. Naturally Keith and Miriam had kept their distance... In other words, Keith had stayed in the kitchen for all of 5 minutes, which he was exceptional proud of and was no easy feat, before going to rush off to find Lance. Catching his arm before he could go marching into the living room, Miriam had urged him not to interrupt. The wait had been even worse as they stood by the stairs. When Jorge had seen the pair of them spying towards the living room he’d laughed softly. The man’s large and weathered hand ruffling his hand as he wrapped an arm around Miriam’s shoulders. The contents of the conversation was a secret, though Jorge did say he’d been promised a trip out to the shack and that Lance could really use some time with their sons. With Miriam’s help, both boys were brought to where Lance was curled up in the corner of the sofa, Keith, once again parent of the year, all but shoving Hunter into Lance’s hold. Maybe wasn’t exactly shoving, but there was a slightly unnecessary amount of fake bossiness as he “made” Lance take Hunter. Lance’s best interests were in mind, his husband needed cuddle time and if offered he’d probably over think everything, and with his hearing far better than the average human’s, Keith may have heard some of Lance’s conversation with his father. Taking the morning slow, Lance was too busy holding his son to fret. The Cuban seemed to have all but forgotten that Luis and Rachel was scheduled to visit. When they had arrived, Rachel had been weirdly... nice? to the point she seemed far too overjoyed to meet her nephews. Luis had had a smile on his face, congratulating them both... yet... He hadn’t brought his own three kids to meet the twins. He’d come without Lisa, then explained it away as they’d be coming later. That was Luis’s first mistake. His second had been when they’d moved into the kitchen for lunch. Miriam had cooked her heart out, leaving barely any space between the table full of delicious dishes. Fussing over Hunter, Lance ignored the food in front of him, Keith knew this would happen. It was why he’d taken their son during breakfast with the hopes Lance would eat. Not wanting to make a fuss or turn things into a big deal, Keith had taken Lance’s plate and begun serving his husband, skipping everything that clearly contained tomatoes and potatoes as he didn’t know how allergies that formed during pregnancy worked. Mami had a lot of mouths to feed, and though she’d made an attempt, Keith ended up placing a small pile of salad on his husband plate with a little bit off some meat thing. In an act of solidarity, he’d filled his plate similarly, ignoring how good everything looked. This would have been fine. Everything was prepared and Lance would have been able to handle stabbing things with his fork. But Luis... Luis had to fuck it right up. Either being a dick, or trying too hard, Luis pushed his chair back and took Lance’s plate in his hand. Loading it up with a little bit of everything, the cherry on the top was Luis laughing at them both and stating “Lance looked far too thin”. Placing the plate back down, Lance bit his bottom lip, the table falling awkwardly quiet as his husband’s scent began to turn. Leaning in, Keith resisted the urge to nuzzle Lance’s cheek “Babe, we can just swap plates” “I can’t eat this...” “I know. It’s alright” Swapping plates drew Mami’s attention, even as Keith picked up his cutlery with the hopes of relaxing Lance’s nerves by eating “Is everything alright?” Luis answered for them, Keith’s cheeks burning as he did “Keith’s not letting Lance eat. No wonder he looks so sickly. He needs the calories” Miriam cast a glance to Jorge who gave a nod, before she continued talking “Keith, Mijo. Is everything alright?” “Yeah, Mami. It’s all sorted” “No, it’s not alright. I filled that plate for Lance’s sake” Lance flinched as if he’d been slapped, before hiding his face against Hunter’s beanie “Lance is still recovering” Lance was right there. Keith loathed these kind of conversations, but Luis was being everything Lance feared he would be. Keith wasn’t sure why, but the man now seemed to also dislike him. It wasn’t his fault Lance had allergies, nor was it Lance’s, yet he didn’t feel he had to explain their actions. Having been on a liquid diet more of the food would probably be too rich to sit comfortably in his husband’s stomach. Forcing Lance to eat more than he could handle would only eventuate with Lance feeling guilty as he threw up. “Whoa. No need to snap at me. I’m concerned about how ill my baby brother looks” Keith wasn’t aware that he had snapped. He’d thought he’d explained it away in his normal tone “That’s because he’s recovering” “Then he needs to eat and build his strength. He has so many options, but you’re controlling his diet. Lance would never choose a salad first without filling his plate with sides” Jorge cleared his throat, Luis looking to his father “You’re not agreeing with this are you? He’s treating Lance like a pet! He can make his own decisions” “Luis. That’s enough” The three words clearly got under Luis skin. Keith was gripping his knife so hard that he’d begun to bend the handle. Though it was socially unacceptable, the Half-Galra once again felt the urge to smack Luis. He had no right to upset Lance like this. Coming home had been a lot as it was. Mami was supposed to talk to Luis and Rachel about Lance “First he gets our Lance pregnant. My little brother, pregnant! Now Lance is sitting here looking as if he hasn’t had a good meal in the last 6 months, with him controlling what he eats. I thought Keith was good for him, but now I’m not so sure. How are you not worried?!” “I can’t eat this!” Pushed over, Lance snapped. Keith could take the insults pushed in his face. He was doing everything he could to be a good husband to his partner. He has the love of Miriam and Jorge, but more importantly he had Lance’s trust. Pushing his chair back, Lance turned to Miriam for backup “What do you mean you can’t eat this? You’ve been eating this all your life. There was no need to swap plates. We are not going through this again. You’re not skipping meals while you’re living under this roof!” “I wasn’t skipping! I’m allergic! Don’t you talk to Keith like this. I don’t care if you hate me and consider me a freak! But don’t hate Keith, or our sons! I hate it when you do this, you’re not papi! Keith was trying to make sure I wouldn’t get sick. Even if he was controlling what I ate, I wouldn’t mind because he’s my husband and my faith is in him! Shhhh.... shhh, daddy’s sorry. Daddy’s sorry for yelling” Hunter wailed, Lance hushing him as Miriam climbed from her seat “What do you mean you’re allergic? Why did no one tell me he has allergies now?” Probably because Luis wasn’t Jorge. He might be Lance’s older brother, but he was definitely not his father. Coming over, Miriam placed her hand on Lance’s left shoulder “This is not how we behave at the dinner table. Keith, dear. Thank you, with so many mouths, I fear it slipped my mind entirely. Lance, Mijo, you eat what you can. Don’t go making yourself sick because you feel you have to. Luis, we do not treat our guests like this. We do not treat our family like this. Now, I want a word with you. And Rachel, you stop laughing at brother. Both of you can do the dishes” Rachel spluttered, Marco opened his mouth only to be cut down by Mami’s narrowing eyes. Closing his mouth, his brother-in-law wasn’t stupid enough to earn himself dish duty like his other two siblings. Luis was red face when returned, they’d all heard him and Mami fighting over Lance. Luis seemed as if he was only seeing Lance as he had been. He yelled because he cared too much. He yelled because he didn’t understand Lance any longer. Their family Christmas had been nearly a year ago now, and so very much had changed. As Luis sulked over your his seat, Keith still felt the urge to punch him. Uncharacteristically, Rachel had held her tongue over Luis being taken off to be lectured, only complaining to Marco that it wasn’t fair she was the one on dish duty and he wasn’t. Daehra was quick to then volunteer Marco for dish duty, Lucteal huffing out a laugh. To Keith it felt as if they’d traded places, he was no longer on the outer circle of Lance’s family, and Lucteal was. It didn’t sit right with him, yet he didn’t know how to make Lucteal feel more included when all his brain was taken up worrying over his husband. Lucteal was there because of Lance. He hadn’t needed to accompany Daehra and Marco, his energy would have been better spent running the outpost, or at least visiting Yule if he needed a break from working. It was problem he was going to need to fix, but when it came to problems like this Lance was the expert. Having been pulled back into line, Luis finally called to allow Lisa and the children to visit Lance and their twins. Nadia asked a billion questions over it all, barely stopping for breath between them. Lance seemed to perk back up around his nieces and nephew, not growing the least bit anxious as he answered all Nadia’s questions as if it was a perfectly normal thing to do. Lance had conceived with the help of a magical princess and Nadia accepted it, even though he wasn’t a girl which was promptly overlooked in her excitement when she was allowed to hold Hunter. Having spent most of the morning holding him, Lance was content to fuss over Laith. How his husband ever doubted his maternal skills, Keith wasn’t sure he’d ever know. Lance made it all seem so easy, despite battling his busy mind. With it all being so foreign to him, it’d slipped his mind that Lance would have done this a hundred and one time’s helping out his family. Luis never apologised for his outburst, not in any real meaningful way, leaving Keith still feeling bitter about it when they left, and somewhat bitter that Lucteal remained on the edge of everything. The one time Lance had sleepwalked, Keith had been there to stop him, meaning despite asking for his help, he felt as if he’d set Lucteal up with a dummy job. Jorge had roped Lucteal into helping around the farm in the morning but as far as Keith could tell the man hadn’t had much alone time with his friend. This second side to him had left him useless when Lance wasn’t in the room. His anger would flare back up into small fits of jealousy for absolutely no good reason. Heck, if Lance spent longer than 10 minutes in the bathroom he practically wanted to break the door down. But as Lance had improved the fits lessoned, they just needed Lance’s actual fits to get the message. * Falling asleep by his husband’s side, Keith woke to a blanket being laid over his shoulders. Rubbing his tired eyes, Lucteal was staring down at him “Your friend’s arrived” Scrunching his brow, Keith was confused. He was supposed to be going to Daibazaal, not Daibazaal coming to him. He hadn’t told his husband that Krolia had contacted him, asking if he wanted to speak to Krystaal before he was reassigned. There was no way he could bring that conversation up when their holiday was all about Lance recovering “Hey, bud. Didn’t mean to wake you” Hunk? Why was Hunk here? That made no sense. As Keith sat up his back protested straighten after however long he’d been in his hunched position. Squeezing Lance’s hand, Lance was blissfully still sleeping “What are you doing here?” Tiredness left a slight edge to his question. Having not turned to Hunk, Hunk came to him, skirting around Lucteal to give him some kind of weird and brief hug “Shiro couldn’t come...” “He wasn’t going to...?” Trust Shiro to be planning things without telling him “This is hard to watch. Your friend came to the club without notice. I think Th’al scared him” Keith nodded. Th’al was good for that. Rubbing his thumb over the back of Lance’s hand, a yawn crept up on him, causing him to yawn his reply “Th-Thanks for bringing him. I didn’t know you were coming... that either of you would be” Doing that thing he liked to do when anxious, Hunk moved back, pushing the tips of both his pointers together. Keith was far too tired for a serious conversation, yet it seemed there was more to Hunk’s visit than simply being there on Shiro’s orders “Lucteal, can you sit by him? I need to get something to drink” Lucteal had the grace to buy his lie, though seeming annoyed as his sentences were clipped and too the point “You don’t need to ask. He’s my friend too. I know this hospital. Go talk with Hunk” Hunk was a worrying mess. Keith was forced down to the hospital cafeteria to get that drink that Keith didn’t really need. Feeling a little stupid for having walked through the hospital with a blanket over his shoulders, he wondered if he was getting all the strange looks he was because of who he was, or if they thought him a patient. Shooed over to sit a small two seater table, Hunk brought over two cups of what was supposed to be coffee as Keith got settled. Sitting across from him, an awkwardness hung in the air. Taking a sip of the “coffee” Keith couldn’t help the face he pulled. It tasted like he’d tried to boil coffee in a pot and boiled it down death “Is Lance alright?” Humming, the question took a few ticks to hit his brain. Keith nodding as it finally did. The hum wouldn’t have assured Hunk. Hunk was sunshine and nerves “It looked pretty bad, didn’t it?” Smooth. That wasn’t reassuring Hunk “His head... what was that?” “He’s being monitored for seizures. He was supposed to go into surgery today, but the increase of pressure led to a seizure” “And the boys? They’re not here with you?” “I had no choice. Marco’s watching over them. They’re both doing great... I didn’t want them to be here” Not that the club was much better, but the club had security for both their boys and their friends “Ah, man. I didn’t see them while I was there... Pidge sent photos, Shiro’s been showing everyone who’d stand still videos of his godsons. But it’s not like, the same...” Taking another sip of his coffee, Keith didn’t know why he’d gone back to it. The second sip was worse than the first “Hunk, you’re not here for Lance’s sake are you?” Moving his left hand up, Hunk scratched the back of his head “I... uh... not just for him. I mean, Shiro told me he had an appointment... I sent Lance a message and he got back to me yesterday. He didn’t mention he had an appointment today...” With how nervous and halty his friend was, Keith was getting the feeling it wasn’t just jitters but something deeper. Lance had never mentioned messaging Hunk, nor could Keith remember him having time to... Then again, Lance could be sneaky as quiznak when he wanted to “Hunk, whatever it is, you can tell me” “I know, man. It’s just.. it’s a lot...” “Hunk, you came all the way out. It has to be important. You’re not sick, are you?” Hunk hurried to hold up his hands, spilling his coffee as he did. His anxiety was starting to play on Keith’s own anxieties “No! No... um... it’s just... um... well, it’s Shay” No wonder Hunk was a mess. If it was his fiancé he turned to a ball of goop every time he thought of her “Is she alright?” “Um... Wewantohaveababybutwedon’tknowifit’sgoingtobepossible” Keith blinked at Hunk, Hunk flushed red as he took a deep breath, knowing that what he’d said was unintelligible “Shay and I want to have a baby” Discarding his own coffee to the table, Keith grabbed Hunk’s right hand, channeling his inner Lance as he smiled “That’s great news!” “You think?” “Hunk, I know you and Shay will make wonderful parents. I bet Lance said the exact same thing” Nodding, Hunk still looked flustered by it all “He did. I know he had some trouble on Altea so I asked about who he saw here... and with you both being here...” “You came out to see if you could get an appointment?” “Yeah. Yeah... It’s not weird is it?” “Not at all. Lance had a lot of trouble on Altea because the obstetrician was a total dick. He was scared to see him. He was made to feel wrong and stupid. He didn’t want to go back and he didn’t want to be treated on Daibazaal. You should have seen how good his obstetrician here was. Made him feel at ease. That he wasn’t messed up or gross. You would think a male Altean would be more open to concept of a pregnant man. Even though she’s no longer Lance’s treating physician she still took the time to check on his case and offer her input into his surgery. She’s been great with him” Keith didn’t know he was gushing. He didn’t mean to be gushing. He was just so damn proud of his husband and his sons. Starting to laugh, Hunk’s laughter startled him until his friend started shaking his head “Oh, man! Being a dad has changed you... You’d never say that before. Normally you get all grumpy when it comes to anyone near Lance” Keith rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms. He wasn’t that bad “That’s not my fault. Blame Allura” Blaming Allura sobered Hunk’s laughter. Scratching the back of his head again, Hunk’s voice was low and measured “You know, I never thought she’d do something like that. I’m glad you didn’t let him push you away” Their poor friend would have a heart attack on the spot if he knew the full details of everything “He tried. If you had any idea how hard he tried... He can be unreasonably stubborn” “Dude, he’s always been stubborn. I know he said it was fine... but do you think he’d be mad if I did make an appointment for Shay?” “No. Lance would be mad if you didn’t” “Maybe... Are you sure he’s going to be ok? The tour took a lot of out of him. Then he vanished with Curtis... when you were...” “Lance is going to be fine. Tonight they’ll collect data on his brain and the damage. Tomorrow they’ll plan their approach to the surgery and how we can stop the seizures. He doesn’t know, but I’ve booked an appointment for both of us with his therapist” Keith expected Hunk to appeared shock, instead his friend smiled widely at him. After half a tick it started to feel somewhat creepy. It was just a therapist appointment. He’d thought maybe... no. He’d known that they both needed the appointment. That they’d both been through so much that reassessing coping mechanism would be a good start for them. Lance had grown so much better at stopping and breathing before proceeding. Just because it didn’t work all the time didn’t mean that it was something to give up on. “Red” may not be used as much, yet Lance knew if he needed to, he could use the one word to state he needed a break to breathe, or cuddles. “I’m proud of you, man. I know that tour wasn’t easy on either of you. Especially with the man it ended. Did you... Do you remember what happened?” Keith shook his head. That was problem for tomorrow. He wasn’t sure what facing Krystaal might shake loose but he still wanted to understand why things had to happen the way they had. Why Lance all the others had to be hurt the way they’d been, and most importantly, why he had to miss so many precious weeks of Lance’s pregnancy “No. It hasn’t come back” “Maybe that’s for the best? As long as you’re all ok...” “Yeah. Maybe. I think I want to know. It really cut Lance up inside... I remember that it was going to be our last planet because of all the stress... but I think I need to know for both our sakes. I don’t want to leave the Blades with any regrets” Hunk took his coffee up again “So you’re really leaving? Or on a leave of absence?” “Leaving. At least, I’m planning on leaving for now. I’ve got Lance and the boys to think about” “Have you asked him what he thinks?” “Not really. The plan was to phase out of work before we even found out he was pregnant. Now... Now I’ve got my sons to think of too. I don’t want to... I don’t want to leave for a mission and never come back to them. Knowing mum, she’ll probably still ask for my input but for now, I’m happy just being a dad” “You’ll be a good dad... You and Lance have both come a long way... It’s still so weird that you... I don’t mean Lance is weird. I mean... I don’t think any of us expected Allura to do what she did...” “Yeah. We have... Come a long way that is. No. Some days I can’t... I just can’t understand how she could decide this on her own, and on the spot like that... It hasn’t exactly been easy to process” “Yeah, I get what you mean. My best bud just gave birth out his arse” Keith snorted lightly “Shiro showed those videos, did he?” Hunk blushed. That was yes. High Lance was hilarious, and cringy at the same time “I hope you don’t mind... we wanted to come see you both as soon as we found out...“ “You had work. We understand. Lance was pretty out of it for that week” “Pidge mentioned that. She mentioned that his parents were there... and Krolia?” If Hunk was trying to imply or stealthily ask something, it went right over Keith’s head “Yeah. Jorge was fantastic with Korra. I was worried he’d be annoyed... But no, he was happy to hold her so Mami and mum could keep their hands free to help” “Mami’s always been good at adopting all of us as her own. We were all homesick out here, but seeing Lance with his family again... I was worried for him. Especially after Allura” “We were all worried after Allura” Hunk gave a small hum before silence fell between them. Feeling the need to do something, mostly get back to his husband, Keith downed his foul coffee before pushing his chair back. Taking the hint, Hunk looked down to his own cup before giving a shrug “I don’t want to know what they fed you on Daibazaal for you to be able to stomach this. I’m going to have to have a word with the cafeteria staff” “We both know you won’t. I’m going to head back up to Lance’s side. It’s probably too late to see about getting that appointment today, but if you see Th’al tell her to add your room to our bill. Her and Lance have some kind of arrangement seeing he’s technically the owner of the club. His surgery is scheduled for 11am Earth time, if you want me to come with you, I don’t mind” “What about the boys?” “Marco’s always said he was the best uncle ever. He and Dae are bringing them in so Lance can see them before he goes back under again” Then Marco would be staying at the hospital while Keith took both his boys with him over to Daibazaal... At any rate that was the plan. Telling Hunk that Lance’s surgery may be pushed back depending on the results from the overnight monitoring would only add to his friends worries. A night apart from them was breaking his heart, but right now they were safe and Lance needed him more. His instincts weren’t pleased his family was separated, even if it was necessary. The tick his boys were back in his arms, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to let them go again “So... do you think... would he be ok with a visit before? I don’t want to upset him” “Hunk, he’d be more upset if you didn’t visit. I know things have been... whatever they are, but you’re still like a brother to us. That hasn’t changed. I know he’s proud of you, and of you and Shay. These appointments aren’t easy, but trust me when I say she’s the only obstetrician I’ll ever trust near Lance” “That’s saying a lot. Alright. I guess I’ll head back to the club and see you in the morning” “Lucteal will probably walk back with you, if you’re interested. He and Th’al go way back” Hunk fiddled with his coffee cup “That’s alright. I get the feeling he doesn’t like me very much” “Nah. He’s like that with everyone. He hated me to begin with. He’s an empath so sometimes he gets a bit... grumpy” “I think Lance mentioned that before...” “If not him, then Daehra would have. This is a huge step for you and Shay, and we’ll help you guys out however we can” “Thanks, Keith” * By some cosmic miracle Lance slept through the night. Confused over the morning fuss about his brain, Keith had climbed onto the bed to cuddle with his husband as they waited for the results to be processed. Still early, they took the morning slow. Soft kisses and cuddles as Keith avoided mentioning what had happened the day before. Lance had already realised he must have had a seizure as he didn’t feel anything weird around his butt, as he put it. His husband was far too smart for his own good as the first thing he asked the attending doctor was if he had the results of his brain scan. Something Keith had half selfishly wanted to keep from him until after they’d spent time with their sons. He didn’t want his husband going into surgery worried. He wanted to spend their time surgery as they’d had, cuddling and close. Happy with just a touch of anxiety over what was coming. Naturally he didn’t want either of them to be stuck with the unwanted seeds of anxiety festering, but that was only natural when the one you loved was facing surgery again. Pulling up scans of Lance’s brain, Keith felt himself nodding along as the doctor spoke. A surgical option was possible, however, Lance’s brain had started forming new pathways around the damaged tissue. To perform surgery ran the risk of damaging his memory, as well running the risk of causing a surge of repressed memories to surface once the scar tissue was removed. Seeing his husband’s brain, and seeing the way his mind was working around the damage felt like something more out of a movie than real life. The best course of action would be a permanent implant at the base of Lance’s skull that would help to regulate the electrical activity of his brain. Lance instantly rejected the plan. Keith knew he would the moment the doctor had suggested it. He got it, he really did. Kre’el had placed that goddamn thing in his head. The idea of something else foreign there was something that Lance couldn’t cope with. Keith knew, and he understood, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t a huge part of him that was angry over his husband’s decision. The implant would prevent his seizures, meaning Lance wouldn’t have to live in fear of when the next one would hit. He wouldn’t have to worry about one hitting in front of their friends, or when he was alone with the kids. With time, he was sure Lance would have been able to live with it, once he’d seen the benefits. Once he’d seen how it would ease his anxieties and give him that peace of mind... But Lance wasn’t at that stage yet. Everything happening right now was too overwhelming for him as it was. Recanting his objection, his husband softly reiterated that Keith had control and permission to make all his medical decisions for him. Pills were out of the question, limiting that Avenue to the shakes Daehra had made. Colleen had worked her arse off to help develop pills for them, which Lance had taken despite the gagging side-effect. Dios knew how tempted Keith was to again ignore his husband’s wishes. To be selfish and to never have to witness his husband seizing again... but, he knew deep down, if he didn’t allow Lance time to adjust to their new lives as parents, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if the mental stress got to his husband, or if psychosomatic symptoms were to present he would be entirely to blame. It was a “no” for now, but not a “no forever”. Lance could lead a relatively normal life provided he followed whatever medical regime Daehra devised. They’d have 6 months with her as it was, and possibly during that time, Lance would reach the decision to get the implant under his own terms. Awkwardness hung in the air after the doctor left to consult with Lance’s surgeon. Lance apologised tearfully for not being strong enough, and for angering him, while Keith felt like a dick for his scent betraying his true feelings on the matter. The soft warmth of holding each other had been tainted by the “ugly conversation”, leaving Lance to fall silent and Keith to simply hold him tighter. When Marco and Daehra arrived, Lance perked back up. His husband seemed to forget he was by his side as he happily greeted their sons with both hands out and a smile so big that Keith’s heart clenched. Passing Lance Laith, Lance immediately cuddled into his boy, kissing his hair and asking if he’d behaved, Marco then throwing himself down in the visitors chair that Keith was supposed to be in with a dramatic sigh “They cried all night. We’re fiiiiiiine, by the way. Can’t hear anything out either ear, but fine” Lance laughed softly at his brother’s antics as Keith sought out Daehra’s face. The same black bags under Marco’s face marred hers too. Holding his hands out, Daehra almost seemed happy to place Hunter into his hold “They cried all night?” He didn’t mean to sound accusing. He knew their sons could scream up a storm if they really wanted to, but to know they’d been distraught all night rubbed him the wrong way. Tiredly, Daehra nodded “I’m sorry. Neither of them wanted to settle... I... I’m sorry” Grabbing his girlfriend’s hand, Marco pulled her down into his lap “Babe. We talked about this. Babies are weird screaming, pooping, puking creatures. Sometimes they cry because they’re crying” “It does not mean it was a nice feeling” Wide awake in his arms, Hunter made a grabby motion for his finger as Keith moved his hand near his face. Letting his son take his finger, the baby boy gripped it lightly “Daehra, Marco’s right. Thank you for watching them. The only reason I could be here with Lance is because it was you guys who were watching them. Did you get any sleep at all?” Marco sighed again, Daehra letting her weight mould against him “We had some help. Hunk and some of the workers that know Lance tried to help out. Lucteal and Hunk took the morning shift” Sitting up a little straighter, Marco groaned “Mami would kill us. Do you know they have pr-sex workers at the club? And that Lance is friends with almost all of them? I shouldn’t be surprised. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. But the club is the club, and the outpost is the outpost and oh my god, was my brother a prostitute?!” Ending in an almost horrified whisper, Keith was glad Lance hadn’t noticed. As tempting as it was to punch Marco, Marco was still trying to learn the ins and outs of everything and everything Lance found normal in this sector of space “His first time was with me. Consensually” Lance’s first time had been stolen from him. They’d hooked up drunkenly, then... well... but as Keith saw it the first time Lance had had sex was with him. Though the term “making love” probably better fitted the scenario as Keith had already loved Lance from the very bottom of his heart when they had “Of course it was. What am I saying? You two dorks are the biggest dorks I know” With a gentle smile, Daehra kissed Marco’s cheek “They’re idiots. Two halves of the same idiot. That’s what we have agreed upon” “Right. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I need sleep” “You can sleep later. You humans need so much sleep. It’s rather ridiculous” “What are you talking about?” Craning past him, Lance had decided to rejoin the real world. Laith was asleep in his arms, as if he hadn’t been screaming all night “Marco called us “dorks”, and Daehra was correcting him” “She called us “idiots” right? We’re not “dorks”. Sometimes Keith is a “douche”, but that’s still not a “dork”” Marco rolled his eyes “Lance, I don’t think you’re supposed to call your husband a “douche” in front of the babies” “He’s my husband and if he’s being a douche I’m going to call him a douche. Right, babe?” Keith nodded, because what else could he do? He could be a “douche”, even when he didn’t mean to be and he’d far rather Lance calling him out when he was “Mhmm. Just like you can be a “dick”” Faking a pout, Lance settled back against the pillows behind him “Hear that, Laith? Your daddy is so mean to me” It was Keith’s turn to fake a pout “I’m not mean” “No. You’re not. I love you. Wanna swap babies? This one’s sleeping” “Nah. I’m right with Hunter. He doesn’t call me names” “Laith doesn’t call you names either” “Yeah, but he’s asleep. He missed you last night” “Not as much as I missed them. I can’t believe I slept soooo long” Keith went to kiss Lance’s hair before eyeing the bandaging, and changing to kiss his cheek “You needed it. Oh! That reminds me, where are our other two visitors?” Yawning, Marco earned himself a dig in the ribs from Daehra who replied instead of him “Gift shop. They got distracted. Lucteal got a call from Yule, so we left him behind. The other visitor seemed set on buying something, even if he didn’t know what he wanted to buy” Poor Hunk was probably agonising over a gift for Lance. Keith didn’t mind, provided Lance’s room didn’t turn into another gift store like it’d done on Earth “Other visitor? Who? Kosmo doesn’t have a credit card or GAC” Lance’s almost serious reply over their fur son had Keith snorting out a laugh. As tempting as it was to play along that Kosmo was shopping up a storm, he shook his head “No. Hunk popped by last night while you were sleeping” The words were instant, Lance nearly waking Laith “He came?!? Is it for... is it because...” Stopping himself from blurting out Hunk’s news, Lance stared at him with wide eyes “Yeah. I told him I’d go with him” “Oh good. You were supposed to. You know we can’t leave him alone or he’ll get too anxious” “If I was supposed to, why didn’t you tell me?” Lance shrugged “I forgot?” Knowing he couldn’t be blamed for his terrible memory, Keith felt as if Lance was dodging the question and instead had hoped that Hunk would come so Keith had someone else there to help support him “He said you might have” Lance gaped, then promptly shut his mouth after mumbling a low “traitor”. Despite how low the news of his brain trauma must have made him feel, his husband was trying so hard to be strong. Keith admiring him that little bit more for fighting hard to step forward with his life again “Don’t worry, babe. He gets it and he’s excited to see you and our boys” “Then he better get here soon. I wanna get this over with as soon as possible. I’m starving” That Lance wanted to eat was yet another positive point “That’s all you care about it, isn’t it? Whether he brought you snacks?” “I’m not Kosmo, I don’t get “snacks”. I get very manly cupcakes” “Of course you do” “You’d get very manly cupcakes too if you pushed two babies out your arse. But you didn’t, so none for you” “Ok, babe. Whatever you say” Brushing off the playfulness, the mood helped to ease the upcoming feeling of dread. Lance might want to get this all over with so he could eat, but each passing tick meant he was that much closer to having to kiss him goodbye and head to Daibazaal without him. A prospect that now looked exceptionally unappealing under the light of day... and maybe even a little traitorous as Lance wouldn’t be there by his side.

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erikismybitch · 5 years

Text

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 9

Long Distance

The bar was extremely packed this night . Marley had finally cashed out her drawer and collected all of her tips. Becky , who kept checking up on Marley every five minutes was worried. She knew about everything, even the police raid . Becky insisted that Marley come and stay with her and her husband but she declined.

“You can save more money that way , I’ve already talked to Pedro about it , he’s fine” Becky rubbed Marley’s lower back and forced her into an odd hug.

“I won’t be in this hotel too much longer , I got some places in the works” she blinked hard , lying .

“Fine!” Becky was outraged by Marley’s stubbornness, she cursed some things in Spanish and started stocking the empty bar .

“I’ll call you in the morning, let’s get brunch” Marley started to make her way out of the bar , knowing that food always pleased Becky.

“You better!”

She clocked her surroundings on the journey to her car . Last night Hakeem had popped up and scared her nearly half to death . After she cursed him out, he left her alone . Besides him, she never knew what other creeps roamed out there, especially after midnight .

Marley locked her doors and blasted the car heater when she got inside . She drove off to the hotel that she had been calling home for three weeks . It was an okay place. It had a kitchen , a bedroom that was closed off and the maids made her bed every day . The pricing was around six hundred a week, so she needed to find an apartment sooner than later .

She entered inside of the hotel lobby, and said hi to Chadwick. The concierge that knew her by her name , helped her bring up groceries and told corny jokes that she laughed at only because he was nice. Marley went into her room, took a much needed shower and put some left over soul food in the microwave. The TV channels at the hotel could be better , so instead she used her laptop . She sat on the bed , ate and caught up with some vloggers she’d been behind on. She thought about vlogging her horrible life , but those never got views . She had to be some semi rich girl , living in the city who went on makeup company sponsored trips. Like Tiana. Marley rolled her eyes at the thought of her cousin. Who at last she heard had landed her an NBA baller boyfriend and was living in his mansion.

Marley sucked on the bone of her smothered pork chop and let out a loud burp . She was full and satisfied . After placing the plate on the night stand, she rested back into the pillows .

Just as she thought she’d would be falling asleep , her phone rang. It was a number she had never seen , an area code she didn’t recognize either . At first she wasn’t going to answer it , it was really late and it was probably a robo call . But whatever.

“Hello?” She pretended to sound tired and unamused.

“Aye” A male baritone spoke through the other line . He didn’t have to say another word, Marley knew it was Erik. “I can’t get you the fuck off my mind”

“That a bad thing ?” Marley sat up, fully alert now.

“I’m tryna’ figure that out” his voice full of contemplation. It was low, the two of them said nothing for a while . The small break had Marley flustered, she put the phone on speaker and laid back down. “You still there?” He asked . Absolutely

“I’m here, where are you ?”

“You know...Around” he seemed amused at his response.

“Not with this scammer ass area code you called me from”

He laughed at her joke, she had never really heard him laugh before . It was low pitched and short . She found herself liking the sound of it . Almost as much as the sound of his actual voice .

“I’m no scammer , baby girl”

“Yeah, okay”

Marley got up, she placed the phone under her chin and grabbed her glass and plate to wash. Erik could hear the clinking of dishes over the line .

“You eating huh?” He asked . Marley cut the sink off , expecting him to hit her with one of his classic jokes .

“Yes , cause I’m fat” Marley was full of sarcasm. figuring she’d beat him to the punch , that way he would maybe back off.

“You not even fat , you not skinny either you just straight”

“So all the jokes about me eating...” She asked for clarity , she didn’t know exactly what he meant.

“ Compared to me, you small. I just like getting under your skin”

“Why though ?” Marley maneuvered herself towards the living room couch, she sprawled her body across the arm .

“I don’t know, to see how much you could take” Erik didn’t laugh after his statement, the way Marley thought he should have.

“So now you’ve seen how much I can take?”

“Trust me, I don’t know any girl who can take all of me”

Marley cleared her throat , unprepared for the sexual innuendos. She thought it may have just been her mind hearing dirty things until Erik laughed again.

“Well...Your dreads are ugly , is it a fade or not ?” She took a jab back at him, hoping to battle it out .

“You know you like them , come harder than that” Eriks arrogance, encouraged her.

“You have weirdly chubby hands”

“I knowww you ain’t talking about chubby!”

“Fuck you!” Marley shouted and released all the bottled anxiety she had pent inside . She laughed , she didn’t know why but she laughed hard . And it felt good . “Oh my god” she took a deep breath and came back down .

“See you can take a joke” .

“You sound like you’re trying to train me” Her feet stretched against the wall , while her body laid against the couch . The phone sat on her chest , still on speaker . Her body positions moved in different ways , similar to the flow of their conversation.

“I��m training you for me”

“Boy please” Marley let out a shocking blow of spit and sat upright now.

“You know you wanna be on my team”

“You called me, sounds to me like you wanna be on mine”

He groaned at her sassiness , that was something he liked about her . If he pushed her enough, she’d bite.

“Marley” He spoke almost too soft , then let out a pause . She eyed the phone . Just watching the phone time add up by the second. She had been on the phone for almost fifteen minutes with Erik. Her face was getting hot from just anticipating what he might say next . The way he said her name , like he needed to get something off his chest . “Nevermind” he said almost too quickly.

She frowned and changed the energy with a new topic . “So..” she settled back into the bedroom. “Our little strip club stunt got me kicked out of my apartment”

“Good” he replied

“Good ?” Marley repeated as if she made a mistake.

“She kept talking about how she didn’t want you there anyway , you needed to get out of there”

“Oh yeah , what else she say ?” Marley was curious to know . She pulled back her comforter and sheets and got into her bed . With a click of her night stand lamp, the room was pitch black.

“We not here to talk about her , fuck her”

“She called you her boyfriend , you know”

Erik sucked his teeth loudly and let out a groan, Marley’s smile was like a Cheshire Cat now. “Tiana has never even seen me in the daylight ”

“Really?” Marley said in disbelief, she had this perception of the two of them totally wrong. Marley told him about what had happened. Erik has no idea on account of the fact that there were no traces of him online. He went into a whole debacle about how social media was dumb and unnecessary. He even suggested Marley deleted hers. She told him she was considering a break anyway.

“You moved into your own spot ?” He asked .

“I’m in a hotel right now , still looking but it’s hard” Marley didn’t even hesitate to tell him she lived in a hotel. She had come to a point where she was shameless.

“Finding a spot is Hard ?”

“My credit is shot from student loans” she admitted.

“Didn’t your mama teach you about credit?” Erik joked

“She passed when I was twelve ,so no”

“Let me teach you then”

“Teach me”

“Credit is everything” Erik said, then stopped talking as if he was finished .

“Is that it?”

“Yep”

“I hate you” she laughed hard again and kept smiling even after the funny was gone.

“Where do you want to live ?” He asked her .

She thought about the question. Where did she want to live in the future, or right now . In the future, she wanted to live an island life in some other country. Costa Rica, maybe Belize and grow old on the beach. Her thought process was taking a little to long so he asked her the question again, louder.

“There’s this small vintage apartment complex near my sports bar job. It’s so cute, with a little garden in the front and a fountain. A lot of old people live there so they take care of it . They had a vacancy, I put in my application a week ago”

“You work at a bar . I thought you did nerdy computer shit”

Marley wondered exactly what else Tiana told him about her. “Both , and what I do is not nerdy computer shit . What do you do ?”

“Nerdy computer shit” Erik couldn’t finish his statement before he let out a laugh . He looked at his phone screen, realizing that he had been on the phone for almost an hour with Marley. “Marley”

He did the thing again, where he said her name as if he wanted to get something off his chest. So she waited again for him to speak .

“Yes?”

“Pick up when I call , aight”

“Okay”

He hung up the phone , with his peculiar way of saying goodbye. Tiana may have had a new baller boyfriend, but the one she was crying over was in Marleys world.

(Sorry for typos)

#its about to go down

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beatricebidelaire · 5 years

Text

sorry to talk about e&b again today they’ve just happened to be on my mind a lot today somehow

so when e visited d in the underwater library he accidentally saw some books on marriage laws and marriage rituals and other marriage stuff and then he was very alarmed at why was d reading about this all of a sudden but e didn’t want to ask d directly and pretended he didn’t see anything

and then spent the next couple of days debating whether to ask f about this or tell f what he saw but, e was afraid f might already know and this would mean f decided not to tell him and considering he and d are on the same side it made sense but it also kind of hurt and it’s not a possibility he want to entertain despite it might very well be real. and if f didn’t know then as alarmed as e was, he couldn’t deny that it was nice knowing something about d that f didn’t even know it felt like he won in a way even though that’s their brother and this shouldn’t be a competition but it kind of was

e thought of maybe asking k but quickly disregarded the idea

after considering his options he decided to phone b and asked to meet, he told himself it was an emergency kind of thing and that he was, not at all, looking for an excuse to meet b, not even a little, he did not in fact want to see b at all and was doing it very reluctantly

(he was not, in fact, reluctant)

b agreed to meet, with just the appropriate amount of hesitation before agreeing amicably

(hearing his voice again, e thought, was ...... nice. they hadn’t really spoken for a while and even when b visited d he tended to carefully dodge e while he was at the hotel)

they met up not at the hotel because e didn’t want f to suspect anything, so they chose a coffee shop near financial district instead and e sneaked out of the hotel to meet b

they both looked older than they’d last met and they spent a few seconds taking in the change (even though b had seen d and even f more recently and the older version of e looked quite similar, since b had always been able to tell them apart, he could feel the very visible change from when they’d last spoke) (and to e, b looked more different too, he’d even cut off his long hair now and the sight of it brought a nostalgic stab to his heart, and even if e had seen him in hotel surveillance cameras when b visited d, it was ... different than looking at him in person)

“thank you for meeting me,” e said, surprising himself with how ..... truthful and sincere this statement was.

“it’s good to see you again,” b replied. and it wasn’t - it wasn’t just perfunctory greeting, he sounded like he meant it.

it felt kind of odd, considering how when they were younger and already on different sides they’d always been so casual and polite yet to a degree too performative with each other

and “it’s good to see you again” meant a lot because e considered most people couldn’t tell them apart and didn’t particularly care which of the triplets they just saw, so seeing any one of them wouldn’t make much difference to most people. to e, he thought most people probably didn’t care about which triplet (twin in some people’s considerations) they were seeing and just wanted to know if the one they were talking to were on their side or not. a pawn to be used in the city or an enemy to be wary of, but not themselves. of course, k could tell them apart, but she’d never say “it’s good to see you again” to e and e knew that.

b was the only person who would say this and be able to mean it and that ... felt important. even if they’re supposedly on different sides.

e went through several emotional roller coasters in his head. b cleared his throat and asked, “is everything okay?” and looked worried, a slight frown on his face.

“i - uh,” e began, realizing he had NOT thought this through he’d been planning on how to meet with b but not how to describe the situation about d to him. “i saw dewey reading books on certain subject and i’m, let’s just say, slightly concerned.”

“postmodern poetry?” b asked.

“........ no,” e said, giving b an incredulous look. “how is that your first guess?”

“he never likes those, and if he does now, i would be interested in what changed his mind,” b shrugged.

“actually, he’s been reading up about marriage,” e said.

b stared at e in stunned silence, and finally said. “i call best man.”

e gave b a reproachful glare - it was an odd feeling because he was sure he’d never looked at b like that back in the days, they were too busy being perfunctory polite, but it actually felt somewhat weirdly nice to a more truthful version of himself in front of b for once.

“sorry,” b said. “you’re actually serious. i mean, i guess of course you are, why else would you want to meet. at a coffee shop of all places.”

“can’t i just miss you?” e raised an eyebrow, and it sounded slightly flirtatious in his own ears that he felt like he’s been transported back in time and he thought he really needed to stop feeling nostalgic because it wasn’t helping anything.

b blinked and adjusted his glasses and the adjusting glasses thing was really stirring up unnecessary feelings in e’s opinion.

“i think, missing someone isn’t always a motivation enough to meet with someone again,” b said, and there was something in his voice that e couldn’t quite interpret, “sometimes i hope it is motivation enough but - it’s often not. people often just - miss other people and never reach out again. and maybe - maybe it’s the safest that way, but - maybe not. who knows?”

this was kind of a overwhelming thing to hear and e immediately directed the subject back to d because it’s getting too much. “so, yeah i was, wondering why he was reading about marriage all of a sudden and i hardly think it’s just for - casual reading.”

“he’s a secret, he’s legally dead,” b paused.

“and even if there’s any plan he wanted to take to reverse that, marriage would hardly be the first priority,” e said.

b was running possibilities in his head and agreed e’s point made sense, and he wondered if it might just be a casual reading thing and nothing more, which was possible he supposed, but what if it wasn’t just casual reading?

“what if it’s not for himself?”

e stopped. “i suppose that’s not .... entirely impossible.” he conceded.

“yeah,” b said. but then, he hadn’t heard news about anyone else planning on getting married. what if it was a gesture thing? he thought suddenly. what if - his thoughts flew to K, and there was probably a change in his expression because e was looking at him intently.

“are you thinking what i’m thinking?” e asked.

“what are you thinking?” b asked, very, very careful.

“that sounds like a yes,” e exhaled. “you think snicket’s pregnant.”

b frowned, “let’s not jump to conclusions.”

e looked at him for a long moment, before admitting, “i was kind of hoping you would know if that’s the case. you two are like, best friends, or something.”

he looked away slightly. “people sometimes - just miss each other and never reach out.”

e very very much want to reach across the table to hold b’s hands. very.

he didn’t.

“if you - if you find out, could you let me know?” e asked.

b looked conflicted for a moment. “i can’t promise anything,” he said cautiously. which was unsurprising, e supposed, because k would always be higher priority to b then e was, it was logical. it made sense. they’re good friends and on the same side and e was just - a few flirtatious moments in their youth. it was fine. perfectly fine. “but maybe you could also talk to dewey and - well, yeah.” b added.

“i guess i could,” e agreed.

they looked at each other.

“well, i’m afraid i have to leave. i have some things to tend to at the bank.” b said.

“of course,” e said immediately. “i understand.”

they looked at each other.

“take care,” b said softly.

“you too,” e said, trying to ignore a thousand emotions going on inside him.

and then that was the last time they saw each other, the fire happened before e had the chance to find out if b found out anything from k.

#vera.txt #bertrand baudelaire #ernest denouement #ernest x bertrand #otp: dance of calculated politeness #asoue

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moeruhoshi · 5 years

Text

Heated kiss prompt

Natsu had a thing he liked to do. It was a kink, he learned, after an hour-long drunken ramble Cana went on and traumatized half the guild with. (Bacchus was sure into some weird stuff). But he uncovered some of his own feelings, confirmed when Lucy caught his attention.He’d been around fire his whole life obviously, heat was an extremely safe and comforting part of his life. The time on Tenrou Island when he gave Lucy his fire to finish off Hikaru Kain, he was mesmerized by the sight of her wrapped in his flames. They had grown closer after the seven-year time skip, Natsu’s dragon going haywire after the incident. Her touches, as simple as they were, would send speedy shivers down his spine, his mentality coaxing him to gain more. The dormant beast inside him had grown while they slept, purred when Lucy fought through the Grand Magic Games, roared to get her back from the knights, and snapped when he lost her future self. After the dragon incident, Fairy Tail took a month-long break to recuperate, and Natsu refused to let her go. Lucy understood, she was shaken up after the fight too, and let herself indulge in the thick arms of her partner. They stayed in a majority of the month, Happy taking the liberty to fly in their food before returning to Charle and Wendy. Natsu did nothing but hold her and spent their vacation in content.His obsession grew slowly, satisfied at first with keeping her warm and getting her addicted to his heat. Natsu would slowly increase his body temperature to get her used to him, pride beating strong in his heart as they slept. He knew there was a part of him that took control when he was alone with Lucy, but he was careful not to hurt her; she was precious.His fire swirled in his fingers as he watched her sleep and his eyes glazed over with a sweet heat, watching as it moved on its own, caressing Lucy’s cheek lovingly. She stirred and turned onto her back, mumbling and cozying to the source of heat. It was more often nowadays that she would sleep in thin and short nighties since he kept amping up the sweltering warmth between them. He selfishly stared down her bare décolletage, teeth aching to experience the flavor of her skin. The fire continued to spill, the stream loosely wrapping around her arms and down to her waist, hips, thighs, even her toes. They barely ever slept with a blanket, the blonde finding it unnecessary when Natsu was her personal furnace. He slowly closed his fist and watched the makeshift rope tighten before Lucy’s strained groan let his conscious mind return. The fire was quick to vanish before she woke up, Lucy’s bleary eyes blinking up at Natsu’s wide grin.“…it’s not morning, hmm?” Lucy stretched her arms above her head, circling them around her partner's neck and cozying up to his chest.“Not yet, Luce. Go back to sleep.” Natsu buried his nose in her hair and rubbed circles into her back to lull her to sleep.His want to give her his fire grew, one night pushing past the boundary of their friendship that they had protected for so long. Natsu swallowed thickly as he stepped into the hot spring with his partner, the two taking a soak after a day spent working in a restaurant as waiters.“Thank you for not eating any of the costumer's food,” Lucy laughed from her spot in the other side of the water, back turned to the pink haired slayer.“I know when you have to pay your rent, I wouldn’t screw that up.” He rolled his eyes, pouting when she wouldn’t wade to his side. “I know the girl's bath is closed but you don’t gotta stand all the way over there.”“I’m not going to let you see me naked,” She scoffed, sinking lower in the water to loosen her tight muscles. “But can you heat up the water, this feels a bit too cold.”Natsu’s chest rumbled with a happy purr as Lucy’s body shuddered at the increase in heat, ears singing at the sound of her satisfied moan.They laid together that night in the only hotel bed left in the building, the celestial mage not minding as she cuddled against Natsu, squealing and giggling as his arm trapped her against the soft mattress. Her eyes met his in a sweet embrace, Lucy suddenly aware of just how close his face was. His nose bumped against hers, a soft smile gracing his lips as his hand rested gently on the small of her back. They continued to look at each other as Natsu held the stare, the dragon slayer gradually building the heat between them again. She felt the protection he provided her in waves, forever grateful to have a partner that would fight till his last breath for her. It was in his eyes and the way he held her, tight yet delicately as if she would break if he made the wrong move. She panted delightfully as the heat she had come so used to increased, her skin barely sweating even at such a high temperature. He toyed lazily with her strewn about hair, smiling softly down at her as he brought a strand to his nose, breathing in a scent he had told her in a drunken sleep was beyond intoxicating. She was also painfully aware of how she and Natsu were dressed, finding it hard not to imagine what might happen in his boxers and ‘her’ old t-shirt that she took from Natsu’s house. She mewled as the heat rose goosebumps on her skin; it was weird but whenever she felt him warming her, there was the light sensation of faux flames licking her skin and wrapping around her for security. Her cheeks reddened as Natsu reached over her, pulling the chain of the lamp on the bedside table to turn it off. She appreciated an up-close view of her partner, flushing more as he pulled her against his chest similarly to every night they slept together. The kiss to her temple was always a bit jarring, she could feel just how hot his lips were.Natsu grinned at the awkward way Lucy held herself against him, excited to feel her squirm a bit against his side. Her eyes shut tightly as she tried to force herself to sleep, Natsu felt the strange beast take reign of their body, fire dripping from his fingers. He wanted to let her nurse on the tips, just to get a taste of his flames as the core of her body was adjusting to him. He wanted to hear her moan and beg for more, greedily feed them to her with his mouth. He groaned and held himself back, cowering over Lucy with a classic death-grip like hold.She choked as he overdid himself, apologizing profusely as she reflexively kicked him out of bed.“You alright, Natsu?” Lucy asked when he didn’t make the usual effort to climb back in. She peeked over the edge of her bed and watched her partner sit with his head in his hands.“Y-Yeah, sorry about that, Luce.” She motioned to help him up, though felt a slight worry grow when he wasn’t immediate to wrap his arms around her. Lucy bravely kissed his forehead and gave him a worried look, her hands gently caressing his features.“Get some rest, you can pick the next job when we get home,” She hummed as he snickered, nodding as he reveled in the feel of her velvety kiss. They grinned as their eyes met, another kiss to the tip of his nose and lateral to his cheek. She sighed as his heat held her again, Lucy mumbling her thanks as she continued to peck lightly against his jawline.There was a slight tiredness in her movements, but she was gripped with a sudden need to shower the dragon slayer in sweetened affection. She pressed herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she lazily assaulted his face. Natsu purred as her fingers lightly scratched at the base of his head, finding her ministrations absolutely irresistible. The familiar bubble of his flames in the pit of his stomach was quick to breach his lips, groaning when Lucy placed a soft kiss against their corner. His hand maneuvered to the back of her neck, coaxing her to rise and meet his own flushed face. The blonde mage shakily swept her tongue across her bottom lip as Natsu seemed to be enchanted by their pink puffiness. His thumb lightly grazed the borders, inwardly amazed by the simple softness he could already feel with the pads of his fingers. Natsu shifted them so that he loomed over her, happy when Lucy didn’t resist. She was nervous, he could smell it, calming her with a sensual wave of faux flames, enjoying the look in her eye as her body loosened.“Luce…” His voice was gravelly compared to its usual sound, the girl in question tensing as he did only but admire her moonlit features. She could imagine the words that might roll from his tongue, endless confessions of every part of her body that he found the most beautiful, gracing every nook and cranny with his lips until it was ingrained in her skin, the eyes he flashed in intense battle when he attempted to scare the enemy into submission. He stared so long she became embarrassed, even needy to allow him access to her body.“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” She asked in an unsure whisper, shivering as Natsu split his one of a kind grin.“Is it okay?” Her heart clenched, only Natsu would ask for permission when they were already in the assumed position.“Yeah,” She let her own smile split as he leaned down, their lips locking and getting a taste of the other. It was quick once they teetered over the line of friendship, the buried love in their hearts breaking through and taking control. They had held back for so long that Lucy already found herself submissed to Natsu’s provocativeness, smothered in his arms. She moaned against their delicate heat, finding it weirdly adorable when she felt steam grace the sides of her face, greedily stealing it into her mouth. Natsu’s tongue was eager to meld against her own, fire failing to stay settled any longer. It followed as she let him in, yelping slightly as the lava-like flow began down her throat. It was an addictive heat that spread in her stomach as they fervently swapped spit, Lucy disappointed as he pulled away.“What’s wrong?” She mumbled with swollen lips, hooded eyes meeting golden ones she had never seen.“My fire… did you like it?” He seemed desperate for an answer to allow him to feed her more, Lucy biting her bottom lip and nodding to allow him to continue.

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