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pascals-doll · 2 months

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like a virgin

joel miller x reader

🫧 inspired by madonnas like a virgin MY MADONNA CONCERT IS COMING UP I-

🫧 i always make my writings for joel so long but i love this man smm i could write all day for him it dont even b on purpose 😩

🫧 description: pre-outbreak!joel, babysitter!reader, reader babysits sarah, semi-fluff, DILF JOEL DILFFF, age gap (joel is 36 and reader is early 20s), smut smut, SMUT SMUTTT, dom!joel, softdom!joel(ugh i need so bad),sub!reader, hella praise kink, reader and joel are obessesed w each other tbh, secret crushing, body worship (reader reciving/ slight joel), pussy eating, possessive!joel, unprotected sex, p in v sex, hair pulling (j recieving), tommy is a teasing p.o.s 😭, no use of y/n, use of nicknames (sweetheart, darlin, and sweet girl).

you stepped into the miller’s residence weekly to babysit his daughter Sarah, she was the sweetest teen girl. she reminded you a bit of yourself when you were her age which was probably the cause of the instant connection.

you had been baby-sitting for almost 8 months now, leading to getting closer to Joel; Sarah’s dad.

Joel was more than a hunk of a man, he towered over you even with your heeled mary-janes at times, his broad build engulfing all his clothing making him look like a slutty construction worker with his roughed up baggy-blue jeans thats sinched around his waist perfectly.

you would be lying if you wouldn’t oogle the man while his attention was pulled onto something else. you would watch the way he talked so sweetly to Sarah, yet when it came to a phone call, his neighbor, a stranger or his brother, Tommy that would occasionally stop by.

Joel would have this assertive and unruly tone underneath that thick southern accent. he was a man that paid close attention in his life which is why he has allowed you to take care of his daughter with so much trust.

you would never know it but Joel cherished you and the things you do.

Joel would show it in very discreet ways, today was a prime a example.

“m’havin a famiy cookout later t’night, why don’t you head on home to rest, so you can come back to enjoy with us.” Joel invitied you with ease as you began to grab your belongings from his coat-rack near his front door.

you grabbed your purse, walking towards the sound of his voice which was right around the corner. Joel was standing in his wide living room.

“it would be more than my pleasure. thank you for everything again. im always very appreciative for sarah and you” you thanked him sweetly, eyes meeting his.

he stood next to his large bookcase that had an assortment of different books, personal objects, some cds/dvds, and his vinyls.

joel picked up a vinyl, sliding out of the slot in the shelving of his bookcase, pulling it out of the envelope, and placing it on the record player.

yet another instance, where you accidentally ogle him.

“the real thank you should be t’ya. im adjustin’ to single parentin’ and ya’ been very accommodatin’, thank you.”

your kind demeanor was the sweetner to his coffee.

you were now home, getting dressed to return to the Miller’s residence.

usually when you’re babysitting, you dressed lazily. you would put on a random shirt and jeans or sweats.

you wanted to cleanup a bit more, knowing it wasnt just going to be you and sarah most of the day; Joel would be there.

you threw on this cute blue floral sundress that was mid-length, it stopped right below your cross necklace.

you finished up by pairing it with white frilly socks with mid-heeled black flats.

you didn’t put much makeup on, only putting the basics before doing any last touch-ups and grabbing your black mini-purse.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

once you arrived, opening the gate and greeting a few of the people that were sitting on the porch before entering through the front door.

the sound of chatter got louder as you walked through his home. you turned around to the corner and his living room was empty but his kitchen was cluttered with different food and grill necessities.

you thought to yourself how they must be outside, you began to walk farther into his home till the back where the sliding door to his backyard was.

you began to slide the door open “oh my!! you came!” sarah squealed out of excitement, she came from restroom door next to the side of his sliding door.

you immediately engulfed the excited girl that ran into your arms “i wouldn’t miss it for the world, girl!” you exclaim while smiling.

“c’mon! my dad is outside grilling!” sarah spoke excitedly. she grabbed your hand as you opened the door and walked outside together.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

“d’ya invite that sweet babysitter of yours?” Tommy asks joel while seasoning the steak “i did, i hope she comes-you know, for sarah and all” Joel tries to play off with his words.

“oh my brother fancy’s someone, i see” Tommy chuckles out, putting his beer bottle up in the air slightly.

“i do not fuckin’fancy that young lady. she’s gone above and beyond for my daughter and i just wanted her to feel welcome” Joel explains himself, his tone laced with angry yet getting his explaination a across a bit hastily. Tommy’s eyebrow quirks.

“don’t say nothin’ else” Joel utters out in a stern tone, grabbing his cold corona as Tommy puts his hands up in defence.

Tommy turned his head, not the best decision as it made his amusement grow fonder. he turns back to Joel.

“well, ya’look at that brother” Tommy slys out, throwing a wink at his older brother before making his way back to his wife Maria.

It was you and sarah approaching, Joel actually choked on his sip of beer.

you were beautiful, Joel wasn’t an oblivious man.

Joel, himself even thought it was impressive how easily you cleaned yourself up by just some jeans and sweatshirt; at times just a shirt.

tonight was different, very different.

Joel finally has seen you outside of your different hoodies and pants.

he couldn’t begin to comprehend as you and sarah got closer and closer “Dad! she made it” sarah calls him out in excitement.

you finally approached him next to his griller which caused him to immediately snap out of his gaze.

Joel gave you his hand to shake “thank you so much for having me” you thank him, sweetly accepting as you began to shake pulling you in for a soft side hug.

you were right beside him, feeling the heat of the fire from the grill on both of you.

in Joel’s eyes, up close, your beauty was now beyond otherworldly. your light blue sundress bringing out the color of your eyes, the way your hair fell on your shoulders, and your jewlery sparkiling the tone of your skin.

you looked so elegant, yet you still managed to keep it simple. your winged liner making you look more mature than just the light mascara you would rush onto your lashes before getting out of your car on babysitting days.

Joel couldn’t begin to wrap it around his mind how you could possibly look so pure yet you were a woman. a hard-working one at that.

he knew that. it was something that made him desire you which felt so wrong.

“anytime, ya deserve to be apart of the family-shit! ya’already are” Joel goes off a bit nervously after ogling you. you gave him a soft smile.

“did’ya need help with the grill?” you quickly perk in as the fire began to sizzle a tad bit louder than usual “ah shit!” Joel exclaims, flipping each of the steak.

“careful now, brother! dont burn ‘em!” Tommy calls out, laughing with a devious smirk as he approaches again with cooler in hand.

Joel grumbled something under his under his breath as he focused on the grill.

“nice to meet you, i’ve heard s’much about you! I’m Joel’s brother, Tommy.” the younger brother introduces himself.

you give him your hand to shake “It is nice to meet the uncle tommy” you joke out causing sarah to giggle with you.

Joel couldn’t begin to explain the beauty you carried within you.

he was sure that if a god made you, it was Hestia and Aphrodite.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

the evening was pleasantly spent by you getting to meet maria and her pregnant belly, congratulating her.

then once it was time to serve the dinner, you helped Joel and Tommy by moving the grilled food off of the grill.

this consisted of Tommy making jokes that had slight insinuating under-tones that you were too naive to pick up but laugh everytime Joel would punch Tommy’s shoulder roughly, not being playful at all.

you helped bring in the food as sarah set up the dining table. once everything was set up and everyone sat down to eat, Joel’s grilling being beyond splendid.

when dinner was over while everyone cleaned up, you went to use the restroom.

you finished using up the restroom which is how you were now in Joel’s living room.

you began to admire his large bookcase from where he stood earlier to invite you.

you skimmed through, your hands softly going over the objects as you observed his books, framed pictures, his collection of dvds, and then his vinyls.

you had a record player of your own, sometimes sarah would ask you to play bon jovi and tell you where the record was.

Joel had an impressive collection, ranging to every genre of music. he had some legends on vinyls like Bob Marley, Johnny Cash, Lionel Richie, and Madonna.

you immediately picked up the Madonna vinyl, it was her second album ‘Like a Virgin’.

you grew up with your mom adoring Madonna more than anything which explains your adoration for her music.

“I was in highschool when i first heard Madonna” a deep voice spoke through the room, behind you.

you automatically knew it was Joel, turning around still looking at the tracklist on the back of his vinyl “this is my favorite album besides Like a Prayer” you say as you walk up to him, smiling.

“you weren’t even born yet” Joel laughs out causing you to jokingly get offended.

“excuse me, i know my Madonna” you joke back, giving him a playful wink which he just gave you a slight chuckle too.

“she say she know she Madonna, ay?” he gives you a slight smile, opening up his record player before inserting the vinyl.

soon enough the record player began to ring a classic 80s pop beat through the room.

you automatically felt yourself slightly popping your leg with the beat and snapling your fingers slightly.

“go ahead, Mr.80s” you state smiling, inviting him to dance “oh no, i-don’t dance” Joel quirks out awkwardly, now standing nervous.

Joel admired your confidence and comfortabilty in your skin, you were so young and full of life while also being so sophisticated and methodical.

you grab Joels hands and began to playfully sway with him.

Oh, like a virgin

Touched for the very first time

Like a virgin

When your heart beats next to mine

🫧

you sang the melodious lyrics under your breath. you felt your breath hitch as you locked eyes with joel, being in his grasp.

you could feel your body burn up in his strong hold, his heavy hand on the small of your waist.

your breath hitched causing your chest to push up against his chest. this felt so right, the way his hands held your body and each of your curves.

🫧

You're so fine, and you're mine

Make me strong, yeah, you make me bold

Oh, your love thawed out

Yeah, your love thawed out

What was scared and cold

Joel made you feel more than a woman, you were so polish and refined, yet so sophisticated and mature while all-looking ever so young and full of life.

he felt a bit of confidence which made him twirl you around, engulfing you into his embrace again with one arm; your back to his chest now.

you swore the sound of the song was slowly drowning out and now the sexual tension was ringing through the both of you.

you could feel his heartbeat thump against your back as his hands rubbed both sides of your waist to the rythem of your delicate sways.

you leaned your head back against his chest, his scent being the only thing on your mind.

you felt him begin to caress your hair with one hand as it left your waist.

“you’re s’beautiful, hope y’know that” Joel could blame it on his 5 beers but 5 beers wasn’t shit for Joel, he was very conscious of his choices.

the compliment sent shivers down your spine as you swore your knees grew limp momentarily.

you turned around, your thigh now inbetween one of his legs, chests pressed against each other, his hands gripping your hips now, and faces inches away from each other.

your lips were parted, you really were debating on kissing the beautiful hunk of a dad infront of you.

fuck it

just like that, within no time your lips were moving like you both had never kissed anyone before.

the song continuing to play as the both of you makeout in his living room while everyone was outside.

the way his hands ran through all of your body like he had never touched anyone, your lips pulling away to catch your breathe momentarily like you had never been kissed like that before.

Joel completely ravished you.

hell…now that he had you, he wasn’t gonna let go now.

“m’room darlin’” he mutters against your lips, before completely scooping you up bridal style. it caught you slightly off guard, gasping which made Joel smack your ass playfully.

“oh, aren’t you a gentleman?” you joke, your arms were wrapped around his neck.

“oh, don’t’cha worry sweetheart” Joel smirks out as you arrived to his room.

he laid you on his bed, going down with you while on top of you. he began to move his lips from kissing you to your neck, pulling down the small straps that held your dress.

each kiss that Joel placed on your body felt like a burning sensation, making your insides erupt with giddiness.

you felt like this was your first time all over again. your mind was racing, heart was nervous, and body was clamy.

and it was all because of Joel.

you weren’t sexually active at all recently, you were so busy with work, about to graduate with your masters, and even babysitting sarah; spending more time at the Millers than on dates.

you did go out but lord were the guys of this generation a bunch of sluts.

“what’s on your mind? am i doin’ somethin’ wrong?” Joel’s rushes out accidentally, not wanting to sound nervous but he did.

you weren’t only one feeling like a bad teenager doing this for the first time.

Joel smelled your perfume and that was all it took to get his mind racing. he couldn’t begin to fathom how he finally got to have you.

the way his big frame craddled yours sent him into overdrive, his heart going a million miles per minute as he tries to figure out where to even begin.

for you, it might’ve been a year but for him, it was almost like ages with the years he’s gone.

all Joel’s mind could do was think of all the things he could do to you.

“Joel-hmph” you couldnt help but whine out as his hands massaged closer and closer to your arousal.

“there there sweet girl, you ever been with a man?” Joel asks, lifting your dress up, exposing your angelic white panties.

Joel was damned forsure for the filthy thoughts you provoked out of him.

“n-no, i have never—they were idiots.” you felt so small under him, feeling overwhelmed like it was your first time all again.

at this point, you could’ve considered yourself a virgin with how Joel had you and how much of a man he was.

“you ain’t gon’go lookin’ f’someone to take care of that pretty lil’mind, not after im done with’ya.” Joel claims to you.

you believe every single word laced in his southern accent; making your cunt pulsate wantingly.

“is that what you want to do, Joel? take care of me?” you ask him, lifting your leg to spread yourself open more as you wrap it around his lower waist; basically resting on his thick thigh.

the way you looked at him through your lashes, batting them softly. it was a genuine question, laced with purity and hope.

“if you’ll allow me too-” Joel began, pulling down your panties. you expected him to unbuckle his belt next but no; he got on his knees.

your chest weighed up and down heavily, each of his touch making your body hot.

“it’s my only wish for taking care of me and sarah” Joel finishes before hooking both of your legs up onto his shoulders, his tongue wasting no time.

you didn’t even get a chance to respond, a moan erupting out of you being the only thing.

the way he ate your pussy like he didn’t just eat a whole meal downstairs had your back already arching.

Joel’s tongue swiped along all of your cunt, fucking your sweethole “jesus, ya’taste fuckin’ delicious” Joel mumbles against your pussy as his tongue quickens all along your juiced cunt.

“ahmph!” your shriek sounding like music to his ears, if he didnt have his family downstairs, he’d have you screaming.

“quiet fa’me, doll” he says, taking a hand to cover your mouth as before diving back in.

joel’s tongue fucks into your hole this time causing you to let out a muffled moan against his big hand.

the way that man was eating your pussy, tainting your pussy with his spit, marking it all as his drove you insane. there wasnt nothing this man couldn’t do.

“god! j-joel!” you muffle out, your hands go to his roughed up brown hair, pulling on it causing him to groan into your dripping pussy.

you felt yourself getting closer and closer, your pussyhole squeezing around the tip of his tongue.

“this pussy s’perfect- s’all fuckin’ mine.” Joel spits out once he pulled away from your pussy, denying you of your orgasm.

your mouth was agape in pleasure but then quickly falling into a pout “don’t worry darlin’, my baby will cum…on my dick” Joel’s voice is sweet like honey now as he leaned down to connect your lips together.

you taste yourself on his lips, mixture of his spit along his lips causing you to moan at the mix of both of your filth fogging your mind.

the way both of your lips moved in sync perfectly was beyond intoxicating for joel. he swore he could get addicted to just at the look of you but at this point, both of your lips had him drunk.

he had shimmied and kicked off his pants while making-out with you. he was completely taking over you once again, your body turning small under his big one.

“are you ready, sweetheart?” joel asks delicately, pulling away from your lips to look at your eyes.

you told him yes, leaning up to take his shirt off which he happily obliged.

you had only seen his toned arms but it was obvious he had a strong build. he might’ve not had a six-pack but lord were his muscles chiseled like a greek god.

“you gon’ drool over an old man?” joel utters out, his hand going in to caress your hair.

“oh baby, you’re beyond fine wine.” you whisper. your forehead’s connected, lips away from kissing, and looking him deep in his chocolate eyes.

Joel could feel his breath hitch at what you said, you already had him wrapped around your finger as he worshipped you.

Joel thrusted himself into you, he couldn’t even fucking believe how tight you were.

“jesus- god, this pussy s-ah fuck!” joel’s groan was almost animalistic as your mouth fell as if you wanted to scream but nothing came out.

Joel’s cock was a size you’ve never had before, it didnt hurt but oh, did it stretch.

“s’big-oh my!” you moan out loudly, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him delectably stretching your pussy out.

“you got it baby, you got it” he praises you although he was too busy trying not too pass-out because of your cunt.

after a small moment of adjusting for the both of you, he began to thrust into you at a slow pace.

you arch into him as your whimpers and soft moans turn slowly work their way up to louder and heavier moans.

joel worked himself into you, his mind not being able to get enough of all of you. he still had to process that he really had a young beautiful woman with the heart of a home in his bed.

joel completely held your body with one hand, eventually putting a hand over your mouth again once his sweet thrusts turned into pounds.

your body shaking against his with each of his rough and hard thrusts, fucking your name out of your mind and replacing it wirh his.

your muffled little cries of his name “Joel! joel-ah! j-j! j-joel!” sounding like a sweet lullaby to him. he couldn’t help but smirk at your teary eyed-self.

you werent even worried about ruining that pretty liner of yours as he fucked into you.

“shh my baby, you’re taking me so well” joel coos out, caressing you hair before leaning down to plant kisses and suck on your chest.

your hands grip his bed sheets as your body begins to shake in pure sensual bliss that joel brought you, making your mind fog up as the build up of your orgasm is almost virginal.

“ya’look so beautiful like this-” praises left joel’s lips left and right, loving and indulging in every single one of his praises as he fucked you to your orgasm so sickeningly good; leaving the both of you intoxicated.

“you was made fa’me, not no one else.” Joel’s eyes were shut now, completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him.

it was almost like a prayer, a hopeful chant, almost a possessive plead.

joel had wanted you just as much as you wanted him “yes! god yes! m’close! it’s y-yours! all yours!” your pleasure-filled babbles as your mind gets drunk of joels cock and overwhelming orgasm.

“let go, darlin’ ” Joel works you through your orgasm, hips going from pistoling into you to the delicate pace he started off with.

your entire body shook as both of your sweaty hot bodies embraced each other through both of your orgasms.

the room filled with heavy pants and moans as his hand left your mouth and began to massage your hair.

you both held each other, not wanting to let go of each other.

“i understand what madonna meant by ‘like a virgin’ now” you giggle out causing a playfully scoff to come from him.

“alright alright, we need t’get dressed and head back down. would ya’ want to stop by tomorrow after i drop sarah off at school?” joel asks, his chocolate eyes now ridden of lust and replaced with soft hope.

you were about to tell him yes but another voice spoke before you.

“are you fucking done?! fuck! i can’t keep stalling Sarah and Maria!” it was Tommy.

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archeolatry · 7 days

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Go take a look at this beautiful trove of old SparkSound magazines someone is selling on eBay. For the price they might as well be made out of gold, but the seller's been nice enough to take big, largely readable photos of so many of the issues. Is there a similar digital hoard of scanned versions? I'd love to see more! (I've seen photo pages in full but only snippets of the rest.) The absolute like... raw, sloppy, fanzine chaos of these as as official publications from a major label band is blowing my fucking mind, even if it is just for the fan club. It's literally their mom cutting and pasting and cramming mentions from both Melody Maker and TV Guide onto an A3 sheet of paper, layouts be damned. The apostrophe on her typewriter is broken for a couple issues but she carries on with an asterisk. She's also around 60 by this point and banging this out to an audience of hundreds or thousands like it's a local Kiwanis club newsletter. But she's doing it with gusto, by gum, and it's punk as hell. The best thing about it is that the lack of style is made up for by the absolute top-tier access to the band, and her being surprisingly on top of pertinent details.

For those of you who weren't in a fandom before the internet, those behind-the-scenes photos were like your favorite band's proof of life. There was no Instagram or Twitter, or anything that proved they existed between national TV appearances and touring in your area (besides those mentions in Melody Maker anyway). If you were lucky, your fandom had the capacity to trade videotapes and people in Scranton could see local TV appearances in Los Angeles and vice-versa. If you were really lucky they weren't all copies of copies with potato quality sound and video. Likewise, if you wanted the 12" extended European dance mix of a song with a B-side unavailable in the US, you had to either special order it somewhere and pay through the nose, hope it was in the imports section of a record store (and still pay through the nose), or you had to trade cassettes or burned CDs and hope the other person didn't flake on you. The fact that she's saying "Don't go running to the import section yet, the single will be out on ____ record label on this date with this track listing" is WAY more info than we usually got from our official sources. All "Mary Martin" needed to do for exclusive content was take pictures of her sons on vacation. On one page she's absolutely dunking on Russell them in wry cut-and-paste captions and on another she is the perfect hype man, telling people shows at The Greek Theater are gonna sell out so get your tickets early (but hold your horses on travelling- they're working on Japanese dates for September so you may not need to fly to the US). The personal thank-yous! The CARE! *slams fist on table* If any other band had their mom as the head of their fan club it'd be the most contrived shit in the universe, a complete lie, or both. I fucking love these guys.

#sparks #sparks band #Like…even the seminal punk rock fanzine Slash was typeset #And Mary over here is taking care of business between games of canasta #be quiet an old hipster is speaking #i'm a part time sparks blog now

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fish-eat-fish · 10 months

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⋆ Miles x Spider!gn!reader Headcanons ⋆

a/n: i’m actually like half awake rn, but wanted to post something anyways! sorry if this appears rushed it is, also i just realized i kind of gave up on the headcanon format halfway but whatevs, miles!!! such a cutie

✰✰✰

⋆ When the two of you first met, you were instantly charmed with him, Miles chatting you up with his friendly outgoing personality

⋆ Showed genuine interest in you and your experience as being a Spiderperson

⋆ Definitely geeked out about your suit and your powers, absolutely showed off, showcasing his powers to you

⋆ The two of you just had so much chemistry talking at the first meeting, it was impossible to forget

⋆ The two of you started hanging out more and more after, especially through texting since he didn’t leave his dimension that often

⋆ He uses kaomojis (so happy this is canon), and you found it absolutely adorable, “coming over now!!!╰(*´︶`*)╯”

⋆ When you bring up his cutesy way of texting in person he acts all casual about it, but he’s a little embarrassed at your comments about it

⋆ Likes hanging out in your room, makes himself at home whilst still respecting your space

⋆ Definitely comes over to just chat and draw, and listen to music

⋆ He sings so badly but puts so much emotion into it you can’t help but laugh, “What what’s wrong with my singing?” He likes to act offended but he’s happy he’s making you laugh

⋆ Gets worried about you after you’ve had a risky or dangerous fight

⋆ He makes sure you’re okay and patched up before he starts cracking jokes to take your mind off of your encounter

⋆ Miles loves taking pictures of cool things he sees in Brooklyn, sending it to you as he takes a break from swinging

⋆ Shares pictures and of cute animals to you like a mom, in return you send pictures of your dimension back, occasional selfies which Miles stares at longer than he’d like to admit

⋆ Swung into a pigeon and a drone multiple times as he was texting and swinging

⋆ He loves drawing doodles onto your skin, but secretly just likes having an excuse to hold your hand as he draws

⋆ Jokingly flirts with you at first, until he actually realizes he has feelings for you

⋆ He’s super nervous at first to be even suggesting that kind of stuff between the two of you, until he has some confirmation that you could potentially like him back

⋆ Then that’s when the flirting gets amplified

⋆ Probably kicks his feet and giggles whenever you do something sweet for him

⋆ Not kicking his feet physically, more just stuffing his face into his pillow as he runs the moment back over in his mind again and again

⋆ Definitely lays in bed wide awake thinking about you, he is such an overthinker

⋆ Likes sharing his songs with you just so he can use it as an excuse to have the two of you sharing headphones

⋆ He has a horrible crush on you first, sometimes talks about you to Ganke, to which Ganke just tells him to confess already

⋆ Miles gets absolutely anxious at the thought of confessing to you, he does not want to ruin your guys’s friendship

⋆ At one point he gets so desperate for advice that he reaches out to the others for help

⋆ Peter teases him instead of giving advice, he’s so proud of Miles and starts talking about his first meeting with him and Mary Jane, Miles groans and leaves

⋆ Asked Gwen for advice, she shrugged, not really knowing what to say on that topic, she did tease him also

⋆ Gwen let the news slip when talking to Hobie, then Hobie told Pavitr, and now everyone knew of Miles’ crush on you, except you

⋆ Pavitr and Hobie actually gave him good advice, consoling him to confess when he’s ready, maybe do a little romantic gesture

⋆ After a few days of not talking, you got lonely, assuming that Miles was probably just busy with his duties or school in his universe

⋆ You were on patrol one day at night, when you walked past a music store

⋆ You thought about it for a moment, before you decided to walk in, mask on, to purchase some empty CD’s

⋆ A little friendly gesture for Miles, you’d burn a CD for him, sentimental songs that reminded you of him

⋆ The cashier instantly recognized you as the city’s superhero, giving you the CD’s for free, to which you thanked him graciously

⋆ That night after patrolling, you went home and begun your process, collecting the perfect songs

⋆ Just as you were finished, adding the final touches to the CD cover, you heard a faint tapping on your window, which scared you out of your mind, making you jump

⋆ Through the pane of glass, Miles laughed at you, waving to you as he stood outside with his suit on

⋆ You opened the window, and let him in, excited to see him again

⋆ “Miss me?” He teased, taking a seat at your desk, before he noticed all of the paper scraps around your room

⋆ Lo and behold, Miles’s Mixtape, held proudly in your hand as you gave it to him, waiting for his reaction

⋆ Obviously he was so excited, staring at the CD in his hands with adoration and amazement

⋆ “I was missing you this week, thanks for dropping by,” you said sincerely, Miles glancing at you from his seated position

⋆ He let out a deep breath, the air around him suddenly serious. You watched carefully, adjusting to his vibe right away, giving him your full attention

⋆ Miles set your CD down, looking down at your floor as he spoke up, voice quiet and wavering as he messed with his hands

⋆ You were so shocked, unsure if you heard that right–there was a long period of silence between the two of you, Miles panicking in the corner as he instantly regretted confessing

⋆ All of his confidence disappeared, but before he could leave, you spoke up, admitting that you liked him too

⋆ The two of you looked at each other like idiots, before Miles let out a nervous laugh

⋆ He spoke quietly, asking if he could kiss you

⋆ You couldn’t help but chuckle at his voice crack, nervously leaning in to kiss him anyways, hands grasped onto his cheeks as you felt him smile into the kiss

⋆ Miles didn’t know if he had accidentally shocked you or not during the kiss, or if it was just his nerves, but either way, he laughed in relief

⋆ After, the two of you couldn’t speak to each other without conversations ending in an awkward silence

⋆ He eventually had to leave, although it was extremely reluctantly–the goodbyes were drawn out to like five minutes

⋆ When Miles got back to his dimension, he instantly ran to upstairs to his room, popping in your CD into his jukebox, smiling to himself as he took in the music you had personally selected him

⋆ He couldn’t wait to see you again, drawing a little portrait of you in his sketchbook as he hummed along to the music

✰✰✰

#across the spiderverse #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse fanfic #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #spiderverse headcanon

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specialinterestshows · 2 months

Text

Go on a short road trip to meet up with your girlfriend in this particularly long chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic, Absolute Smokeshow.

Warnings for this section: Suspicious/unpleasant strangers (can be interpreted as racism, depending on the reader), dirty talk, social/crowd anxiety

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 63 of ?): The Best Planned Lays

“Heading out now! Should get there after the show ends. Love you!”

After hitting “send”, you switched over from the texts between you and Rhea to the ones between you and Marisol. The two of you had been messaging almost constantly since the smoke session at your apartment; she had left you with a parting kiss that had been difficult to get off your mind.

“Going to be driving for a while. You can still send messages, I just won’t see them for a couple hours.”

Rhea’s text reached you right after you hit send on Mari’s:

“Love you, babe - see you soon”

It ended with her usual black heart, making you bite your lip and smile. You’d been looking forward to tonight all week.

Checking that you had everything you needed one last time, you set your phone inside your bag before looking through your CDs and popping in your favorite.

The first hour of your trek flew by - you hummed and sang along to the music, sipping water when you had the cruise control on. Every now and then, you would remember what awaited you and couldn’t help but get excited at the thought.

After your journey reached an hour and a half’s time, the water caught up with you and you began looking for a rest stop - casually at first, then more urgently.

“I’llbuysomethinginaminutesorry!” you call across the diner whose lot you parked in, dashing past the tables toward the “customers only” sign above the restroom door.

“You better!” an exhausted voice shouts back from the register as you quickly shuffle into the bathroom.

“So what’ll it be?”

The voice startled you as you walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, almost running into the woman from the register. She looked you over warily, eyes resting on your bag for more than a second.

“Your order,” she clarified, widening her stance as if she expected you to run.

“Let me take a look at what you have,” you tell her, slowly walking over to the counter as you took out your wallet to show her you did, in fact, intend on paying for something.

This seemed to satisfy her, but did nothing to brighten her mood as she walked behind the counter.

“Hmmm…” you looked through the glass at the ready-made goods, spotting an appetizer you could easily devour before continuing your drive, “Can I get a serving of that?”

“For here or to go?” she asked, unenthusiastically reciting the line as the plate your order sat on was taken from the shelf.

“To go, please.”

As nice as the diner seemed - quiet, with only a few other customers - you knew eating in the parking lot would get you back on the road faster. The service wasn’t exactly enticing you to eat in either.

“Figures,” she mumbled - no doubt going off-script - before boxing your food and putting it into a bag along with plastic silverware and some napkins.

“That’s your total,” the woman pointed to the numbers on the display that faced you, not making eye contact even when you handed her the payment.

“No refunds,” she said, her hand resting where the receipt was printing before tearing it and handing you your copy and the order. Then, flatly, “Have a nice day.”

“You too!” you called back as you skipped back out to the parking lot, food in hand. Your cheeriness had as much to do with being closer to your destination as it did with being free from that grueling social interaction.

As soon as you slung your bag back into the car, something fell out. Setting your food down on the seat and picking your phone up off the ground, you notice Marisol had sent you two messages.

“Stay safe, belleza” made you grin, but the text that followed it took a moment to process:

“Want to spend the night at mine next week? All night”

Your face warmed at the pink heart that ended the text and you scrambled, almost dropping your phone again in your hurry to reply:

“You know I do!”

Feeling giddy as you cleared your seat, you sat down and opened your bag of food, leaving the car door open as you began your meal. Changing text conversations, you tap “Mami,” type out your message, and look it over before sending it:

“Hey babe, taking a snack break before hitting the road again. Just wanted to let you know that next week I’m going to be staying the night with a woman I met at the bar. See you soon!”

It wasn’t long before you finished your hurried meal and continued your drive.

This second stretch seemed longer - your anticipation, the fact that there wasn’t a trace of sunlight left, or both were likely to blame. Focusing on the road ahead, illuminated by your headlights, you idly thought about how your night with Rhea and Dom might go. At least, your thoughts were idle when they began - soon you had to think of something else as you began to shift in your seat, your body responding all too readily.

When you finally pull into the parking lot of the venue, you turn into the nearest open spot to take another look at the instructions Rhea sent you - it was difficult to find the doors to the right part of the building without them.

Somehow, you didn’t expect to open your phone to so many messages: Marisol and two of your friends, but no reply from your girlfriend to your news.

You looked at the text from Marisol first:

“Can’t wait to take my time with you”

A blush warmed your cheeks as you smiled, remembering the charming way she winked when you saw the winking face in the message.

Deciding your friends could wait, you pulled up the instructions to find where you were supposed to pick up Rhea and Dominik.

Meandering around the large parking lot, you finally found it - crowded by fans being kept a few feet away from the exit by two security guards.

Some of the people in the small crowd had signs and all of them seemed to be pointing their phones at the doors in anticipation.

Taking a closer look, you realize most of the signs have the words hastily scrawled onto the poster board.

“Rhea Ripley’s future girlfriend” read one.

“This is my bisexuality!” another stated.

You hadn’t realized just how many queer fans your girlfriend had.

Parking in a nearby space, you pull out your phone again, messaging Rhea:

“I’m here!”

As you waited for a response, you moved on to your friends’ messages:

“Congrats on going public!” the first one said. Even without context, you felt a sudden sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach.

Rather than reply, you checked your other friend’s message in the hopes that it might shed some light:

“Have you seen this?” they asked, providing a link after the text.

You followed the link, heart pounding.

“Rhea Ripley Interview” the title read, followed by today’s date.

“Cathy Kelley here,” the video opened on a smiling brunette holding a microphone, her name appearing at the bottom of the screen, “reporting on tonight’s events with the Judgment Day’s eradicator, Rhea Ripley.”

The camera panned out a bit to reveal your girlfriend standing next to the WWE correspondent, powerful as ever, her name also appearing onscreen.

“It’s an honor to be interviewing the most dominant woman in the WWE,” Cathy continued as Rhea pulled her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the screen, “Now, how did you feel about the way Jey Uso spoke to you tonight? Implying you’re the leader of the Judgment Day? Flirting with you in front of your… Latino heat?”

You watched a complex wave of emotions pass over Rhea’s face as she scanned her phone before pushing it back in her pocket, donning a familiar smirk, and pulling the microphone that was pointed at her closer.

“Seeing as Dom and I have an open relationship, the flirting isn’t really a problem,” she told the camera, “In fact, I have a girlfriend as well.”

We never talked about this, you thought, heart racing as you hit pause to glance down at the number of views; already over a thousand, despite being posted only an hour ago. All those people, fans around the world - all of them knew Rhea Ripley had a girlfriend. They would be curious.

The thought of that many people crowding around made you feel sick to your stomach.

The phone buzzed in your hand, a message from Rhea telling you she would be out in a minute.

Looking over at the mass of fans by the doors, you made yourself come to terms with the fact that picking your girlfriend up from work wasn’t going to be as easy as you had hoped. You crossed your fingers for a moment as you did your best to keep your breathing steady, gathering the strength to pull up to the curb.

[end part sixty-three of ?]

Part 64: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/743266675618627584/absolute-smokeshow-part-64-of-love-sex

Tag List (thank you!)

@littlemiss-fanficlover , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domripley , @wiccanpriestess , @falloutboy-lover , @aut0luminescence , @nobilitando , @riverina69

#wwe fanfiction #the judgment day #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley x dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio x reader #reader x oc #lady!reader #the judgement day #cathy kelley #specialinterestshows presents #absolute smokeshow

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hx4x4enthusiast · 8 months

Text

Cybertronians meet the bloody Mary

Words: 2090

Optimus Prime x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fluff/Comfort

Notice: This is a comfort fic for people with a uterus, suffering through their menstrual cycle. Meaning blood, function and structure of the uterus will be mentioned/explained.

I use Bloody Mary a lot in this fic not cause I am ashamed of having a period but more so because I found it funny to give it a name. Also not everyone’s period goes the same way so your period experience may differ from person to person.

This was a request from @theemoteam5994, that I was more than happy to write.

It was a pretty standard Friday evening I was sitting on the couch next to Miko reading a new book, I just got. Ratchet was working on the control panels recalibrating the ground bridge, Optimus stood at his control panel writing the report of the last mission for agent Fowler meanwhile Bulkhead repaired the lob ball. Jack had work, Raphael was out of country visiting family, which led Bumblebee and Arcee to drive patrol today. Resulting in Miko and me to hanging out alone. Which was fine it was a nice to not do anything for once.

Unexpected I started to feel something damp my pants, or to be precise my underwear. Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Mentally counting the days back since the last time, it happened and concluding that it had been indeed a month now, a defeated sigh escaped my lips. Which in turn made Miko turned to me in confusion.

“Whoa you good, what’s with the defeated sigh you sound like me when we are about to write a test.”

“Miko please just shut up and let me suffer in silence and desperation.”

“Yeesh since when are you so grumpy.”

“Since the high and mighty royal majesty, the bloody Mary decided to show up.”

“Ah Dave decided to visit.”

That caused me to raise a brow at Miko, to which she gave me a smile.

“Dave? Do I want to know.”

“You know that one sound “God, fucking damnit Dave, there goes the last shit I ever gave.”

“Omg, that’s genius.”

“Yes, it’s hilarious when you’re having period pain and just scream fucking Dave.”

“Oh man, Miko you’re a genius. By the way do you have tampons or a pad? I forgot my period bag.”

“Oh, shit did you just get it?”

“Yeah, and I would like to not have to explain to gigantic alien why my pants are red and what the menstrual cycle is.”

“Haha, understandable, I really wouldn’t want to explain what’s going on down there to Bulky.”

Giggling to each other, I’m forced to double over as a sharp pain shoot through my lower abdomen, causing a hiss of pain to escape me.

“Man, is your period always like that? It looks really painful. I mean my crams hurt to, but they are at least somewhat manageable.”

“Unfortunately, yes the problem with these I have to physically double over and can’t ignore them like the others.”

“That sucks. How about you go put on a pad or tampon or both and I call June if she can bring painkillers for you..”

“Oh my god Miko you’re a saint thanks.”

“No prob. The bag is in my front pocket underneath my slash monkey cd.”

Gratefully I go over to her bag as Miko makes her way to the medbay to find June. Finding the small cotton bag I take it out, zip Mikos bag back up and move hurriedly to the washrooms. Oh my god there is nothing more uncomfortable than sitting in a puddle of your own blood.

Coming back into the main hangar I moved towards the designated “human area” as Ratchet so lovingly nicknamed it. Miko was the first to notice my return and waved, as I climbed the stairs up. She intercepted me as I reached the stairs, I wordlessly gave her the little bag back, before she bend over and started whispering.

“Hey I called June and she said she bring some Aspirins and a few heating pads.”

“God I love that women, and you, bless you.”

“Yeah try to remember that the next time I go through the ground bridge.”

“Different issue Miko.”

“Ugh, well whatever, June said she bring the supplies when she picks up Jack after his shift.”

“Why does Nurse Darby have to bring painkillers and heating pads, and would you be so kind as to tell me why you didn’t think to inform me that you are unwell.”

Simultaneous Miko and I froze up as the very distinct sarcastic and very much unamused voice of the resident medic, rang from behind us. Turning around we were confronted with a very pissed of looking Ratchet.

“Ok you look like you can handle this right well my part is done, HEY BULKY LET’S GO DUNE BASHING.”

Miko didn’t hesitate to leave me alone and run up to the railing jumping onto her guardians servo as he immediately transformed around her and proceeded to race out of the base. Sharing his charges unwillingness to become a target of Ratchets anger. Left alone under Ratchets piercing gaze, I do my best to avoid eye contact.

“So, are you inclined to tell me now why you didn’t think it necessary to come to me for medical attention.”

“Oh uhm it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“If I didn’t treat every one that said “oh, that’s not that big of a deal” this entire team would be dead by now. So unless you miraculously became doctor you com to me with any kind of medical issue. Did I make myself clear?”

“Ratchet, it’s really none of your concern, I am fine.”

Quiet. It was deadly quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Ah shit, I fucked up, I fucked up big time. I did the one thing you don’t do, ever. I broke the one rule on the base, crossed the one line even Optimus doesn’t cross. Don’t backtalk Ratchet when it’s about medical decision. Well it was a good life.

“Oh it’s none of my concern is it? My how interesting would you care to elaborate on why that is?”

“I...I I am sorry Ratchet, I didn’t mean it like th-ughnn.”

A sharp pain went trough my lower abdomen forcing me to hug myself as I doubled over. As the pain subsided and I was able to stand upright again, a green light beam went over my body. Looking up I was met with the sight of a very concerned Ratchet and an equally worried Optimus. When did he come over here, weird? I was ripped out of my train of thoughts as a sharp exhale escaped Ratchets vents.

“YOU ARE LOSING BLOOD AS WELL AS PART OF YOUR INNER LINING IS DETIRIOURATING AND YOU RUN AROUND HERE ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE.”

“Because it is?”

Apparently, that was not the right or more like best thing to say. I could already see the oncoming triage, Ratchet was going to put me through. Just as he prepared to chew me out and preach his speech on taking proper care of oneself, a big servo landed on his shoulder plate. Optimus gently pulled Ratchet back before coming closer, bending down to my level.

“We are worried about you. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Hmpf, especially if you lose essential organic fluids.”

“Ah, shit that’s not it’s, aww geez uh scrap how do I explain it.”

“While we both would appreciate an explanation, please don’t feel cornered or forced to please us. Though I do have to ask you to use a different manner of speech.”

“Huh, oh yeah sorry about that big guy. Just give me a minute”

Seeing Optimus giving a nod and even Ratchet, though begrudgingly, give me some space, I take a deep breath. Ok first me being a nervous wreck is not going to help anyone. So deep breaths, everything is fine. It’s not like you are going to have to explain how and what the menstrual cycle is, to gigantic aliens. Man, I sometimes hate my life so much. Letting out a deep sigh I turn around I make my way to the two bots.

“Ok, so first of all, I am ok, I will not bleed out or am sick with a terminal disease. What’s happening to me is a natural process that happens every month for more or less than a week depending on the person. Every person with a uterus goes through this with some exceptions. Yes, that includes June and Miko as well.”

Optimus and Ratchets frames slightly relax, tough confusion is still visible on their faceplates. Well, more on Ratchets than Optimus, though the leader frame is less rigid than before.

“But you are bleeding, isn’t the leaking of blood indication of an injury, do you mean it is natural for humans to injure their uterus every month?”

“What no we aren’t injured.”

“Perhaps it would help us understand better, if you were to explain on how this “menstrual cycle works.”

“OH, uhm sure. First of all the uterus is one of the reproductive organ’s humans have to reproduce. Each month, blood and tissue build up in the uterus to prepare for a fertilized egg in case a woman becomes pregnant. Important humans give live birth to their young not like other animals in eggs. Eggs is simply what we call the cell. If the egg isn't fertilized, that lining leaves the body through the vagina and that is what is called the period.”

Trough the explanation my eyes had driven away from the bots not wanting to see their faces of disgust.

“But then what is the menstrual cylcle? And that still doesn’t understand why you were in pain.”

Confused I look back up at Ratchet as he looked at me expectantly. Switching my point of view to Optimus he carries a similar expression though way more subtle than Ratchets.

“You, you aren’t disgusted?”

“Why would we I mean, its obvious a bit strange due to our different biologys. But so is your entire race.”

“As you explained, your period is a natural occurrence, there is no fault in that.”

“Oh ok.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah there are a lot of names for the period, like menstrual cycle, strawberry week.”

“I thank you for the explanation but there is still concern on your earlier episode of pain.”

“Oh yeah uhm, so basically to flush everything out, the uterus contracts itself which can lead to pain. How much pain someone experience is different for everyone. And well mine is sometimes so bad I double over.”

Both bots fall into back into silence, exchanging glances like they were silently communicating. Feeling slightly Causing me to shuffle my feet on the ground. Until Ratchets open servo comes up to me, an invitation to step into it. Confused I look at both Ratchet and Optimus. Sensing my confusion Ratchet responds.

“It is unreasonable to let someone alone when they are in pain, so get on.”

“What, no I am fine, I have dealt with this for the past 6 years on my own.”

“You should be resting.”

“No, I still have things to do I don’t need to rest.”

“Please do understand that we are just worried.”

Damn you Optimus, for making me feel bad about refusing help. Reluctantly I carefully climb onto Ratchets servo. Letting out a satisfied hum, he lifts me up to his chest, curling his digits gently around me. Carefully moving across the base, we go through a corridor I haven’t been in yet, only to land in front of a humongous door trough which Ratchet and Optimus can walk without any problems. Ratchet crosses the room and gently lays me down on the gigantic bed. Before turning around and walking around the bed to the other side before laying down himself.

Meanwhile, Optimus was closing a drawer, holding something I couldn’t make out and moved to join us. He deposited the content of his servo onto the berth near Ratchet. Before I could ask what and why they brought those things, my feet yet again left the ground.

Warmth surrounded me and weirdly a lot of red. Wiggling around I finally found the end of the blanket and looked up, only to be met, with two pairs of kind optics looking down at me.

“What’s all that?”

“We researched that warmth and comfort in the form of affection, food and a comforting environment prove, helpful when dealing with period pains.”

“Wait, you guys searched the internet to help me? Aww that’s so sweet.”

“Hmpf, well we can’t leave you alone in this time of you err, month.”

A smile starts forming, I snuggle back into the blankets happy about being so well cared for. My eyes are starting to feel heavy as a yawn escapes me, exhausted from the day’s events, I don’t fight the sleepiness taking over my body. Safe, warm, and protected by the two gentle guardians on each side of me.

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trashexplorer · 2 months

Text

BLCD Review: Ikigami & Donor

Title: Ikigami to Donor (イキガミとドナー)

Author/Artist: Yamanaka Hiko

Shop: CD + Manga

Release Date: 2021/12/03

Cast:

Nakajima Yoshiki x Saitou Souma

Yamashita Seiichirou + Kawanishi Kengo

Kobayashi Chiaki

Yashiro Taku

Komada Wataru

Hayashi Miho

Shiozaki Tomohiro

Higa Ryosuke

Abe Ryouma

Torashima Takaaki

Oota Kensuke

Nakashima Takuya

Fujita Mami

Miyama Mari

Souya Kazuki

Synopsis:

"Your blood and flesh, all of it is mine." An ikigami and a healer, together their souls support each other, blooming into love...

In the distant future, ordinary teacher Yoshino learns that he is a "donor" for the strongest species, the "ikigami." These warriors are tasked with protecting the country. "The unique ability of a donor is to use their bodily fluids to heal ikigami." Yoshino learns this fact and is shocked. Thus, Yoshino is forced to live with Kidou... At first, he is like a beast, demanding Yoshino's bodily fluids, but slowly, the underlying loneliness begins to show...

"Someday, if I met a donor, could they come to love me? That thought is the only reason I survived..."

Review Proper

I can’t believe Yamanaka Hiko’s been terrorizing me for over twelve years now. OH MY GOD I’M SO OLD. And true to the Yamanaka Hiko brand, this turned out to be another fantasy masterpiece (read His 500 Years of Suffering Romance). This was definitely the type of thing that would do great even without the BL aspect of it. Now, I did have an issue with Kidou being an asshole (he's almost killed Yoshino more than once), so I’m not excusing it. But I do get how and why he turned out to be like that and I'm aware that it's important for his character development. The world-building was great, don't get me wrong, but it's definitely dubcon 2015. I would strongly advise you not to get into it if that's a deal breaker for you.

Anyway, onto the voice work.

Souma used a tone so close to Gucci's that I kept imagining Gucci being Yoshino. Yes, I didn't read the manga while listening to the BLCD. It was like after graduating Karasuno, Gucci went on to become a teacher, then a donor lmao. His Yoshino panics more like Honda-san, however, so my final verdict is that his Yoshino is half-Gucci, half-Honda-san.

This isn't Nakajiki and Souma's first rodeo, but I'm glad to say that their performance/dynamic here is different from Mikeneko and XL Size. I expected Kidou to be a mix of Amano and Anaconbayashi-kun 'cause the former was cocky and the latter was stoic, but Kidou was only 50% of that mix and 50% brooding, suffering, I'll-protect-you top. Am I even making any sense? Again, I listened to the BLCD first, but the sound direction they gave Nakajiki was very different from what I thought he'd sound like after I read the manga. It’s almost like what happened with OnoD’s expressive Hasebe-kun in the Kotonoha BLCD vs the more stoic Hasebe-kun in the manga.

The voice work of our two leads was 👌. This might just be my fave out of their pairings 'cause the sex isn't over-the-top like XL Size and Mikeneko. I will say that I wasn't completely sold on Yamashita Seiichirou as Shibata-san 'cause I feel like he speaks too slowly, but I'm sure it'll grow on me by the time I listen to their spin-off. KawaKen was fine. My heart broke for him every time Shibata-san rejected him, so it's safe to say he's got Taki-kun down already.

Oh. I did have a slight issue with the sfx too. Why was it so watery??? Lmao. Even r18 otome cds aren't that wet. But it's not so glaring that it'll turn you off.

The BLCD was almost perfectly accurate to the manga. I highly recommend this to those learning mid to higher levels of Japanese. Futekiya has licensed volumes 1 & 2, so please try to support the official release if you can. I'd be lying if I said that I agree with how they translated it so... literally?, but I think it's also important to see how things are translated that way if you're aiming to dip your toes into translation aside from studying the language. For example, they used "Living God" throughout the manga instead of "Ikigami." It's correctly translated, but I personally prefer retaining the original title. You know, like how Viz uses "Kaiju no. 8" instead of "Monster no. 8?"

God knows if I'll ever survive the spinoff that I wanted to work on. I avoided talking about it for a reason lmao. Anyway, if y'all liked this, then please give 500 Years (Ono Yuuki x Suzuki Tatsuhisa) and Shortcake no Ichigo Sawaranaide (Nojima Hirofumi x Takeuchi Ken). These two are android bls and Ikigami to Donor is more guide bl, but they both share a futuristic vibe.

#blcd reviews #blcd 2021 reviews #ikigami to donor #ginger records #yamanaka hiko #nakajima yoshiki #saitou souma #kobayashi chiaki #yashiro taku #komada wataru

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blysse-and-blunder · 6 months

Text

in lieu of a halloween party

~ 10pm, sunday, oct 29, 2023

if i listen really closely i can hear the quiet snoozy breathing of the sweet black cat who now lives in my room! oh, now she is purring.

(contains minor mention of the study of death/dead bodies, but also cat pictures, classical music, and minor spoilers for the end of the most recent season of star trek: strange new worlds)

reading more victoria goddard (blackcurrant fool is somehow *even* *more* for medievalist academics, they visit fantasy university and then the main character saves the day through the power of his dissertation research for crying out loud), some assorted libby holds from jenny odell and amitav ghosh, some kj charles inspired by the medieval mlm romance i finished a few weeks ago (which was great but i was so taken with the idea of posting a whole historical assessment that i scared myself out of talking about it, so maybe next time).

but the book that's been the biggest presence in my life lately has been the audio book version of mary roach's stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers, which i picked up because it had a little Moment back when it came out and i remember thinking that an approachable, sympathetic look at this kind of medical history would be fascinating. and it is! it is just as full of interesting information and humorous, humanizing turns of phrase as you'd like! roach doesn't hesitate to ask, like, intense questions of the people she interviews, nor does she ignore or downplay various gruesome topics, but the audiobook narrator has a hint of a southern accent and gets the mix of tones of voice (from ironic to earnest and back) really nicely. and also, sometimes i'm glad i'm listening to it as an audio book so i don't have to consciously continue turning pages, it'll keep playing even if i stop listening or need to disengage, because there's no shortage of actually quite challenging material. not for the faint of heart, but also, i can't regret reading it.

watching the new season of ghosts from the bbc! the second season of ofmd of course, both because it was fun and because i had to out of self-defense; uhhhh what else this month has been so long and also so fast! the musical episode of strange new worlds which was GREAT. how good were some of those songs!! like on their own, i would listen to nyota and christine and la'an's songs-- reminded me of the mix CD a friend made me for a birthday one year that mixed, like, barenaked ladies with some songs from the buffy musical episode. then the finale of this season which (minor spoilers here) i found actually so compelling, like, i've been mildly ehh about a lot of the gorn stuff (not la'an, but the concept of the gorn always feels very old-school scifi and the more serious they try to play it, the worse that effect usually) but then the monster design and movement when they finally appear on screen? excellent.

though to be entirely honest, the thing i've come back to and watched/listened to most consistently has been the new series of dimension 20, burrow's end. i managed to tune in as a campaign was starting, and actually more or less keep up! huge for me. the bear in ep 2 was all-to-close to some of the body horror i'd just been reading about with stiff, so this month has been 'so you'd like to get better about dealing with body horror?' for me in a way. unintentionally. i think i am appreciating this series more than i would have if i hadn't read and enjoyed watership down a few years back, but the added edge of, like, for-real magic from the d&d elements makes it even more fun. i love the new (to me) players, i love seeing the old ones in their new roles, i love that while the conceit seems to be 'humans are like eldritch horrors to woodland creatures' on the surface, there's also clearly something (or things?) else going on.

listening checking in on my spotify daylist lately to see what moods i've been assigned (soul-crushing once, which was wild to see as a genre, but goblincore also so. whatever i guess!) paper writing lockdown included more autoheart, more yws gwynedd, and like a 24-hour lockdown on @lessthansix's 'deferring panic' playlist, from which i share the following track as a thank-you:

playing tuned into dnd as a virtual player tonight so that i could stay home and supervise the NEW BABY aka this little (large) black dumpling of a cat who i cannot quite believe is my very own. playing such classics as 'ribbon on a string' and 'this is a ball that makes food come out when you play with it, ooooooh' and 'i hope my eyes feel normal again after i stop putting my face directly on you so much and i have not somehow developed an allergy to cat dander in the six weeks since we last had a cat come visit'. playing the classic game, 'so you think you can be responsible for another life form! and are you willing to risk an increase in your experience for loss in order to gain an increase in your experience of love?' (also while we're here: why is naming the hardest part of any endeavor. naming wifi networks, naming pokemon, and now this, a real live creature! who i want to treat with love and also humor, while showing wit and personality at the same time. hell.)

making fixed up a sweater my housemate was going to get rid of. i am not, habitually, a fibercrafter (though not for want of opportunity or, even, interest sometimes), but this made me want to find other easy and quick things to do with yarn.

before: big fuck off hole between the cowl and neck line

after: used some yarn of a similar weight /softness that i already had, so it doesn't match but it's not like you see it. hidden little necklace of pearls.

working on writing a paper for my first ever 30-min conference presentation, which is also going to be the first time i submit a paper ahead of time for someone (a professor i do not usually work with, but whose work and career and writing i admire) to read and give real comments on. this is fine. i am simultaneously trying to use this as an opportunity to squish an entire chapter's worth of notes and observations and ideas into a single presentation, and trying to not do that. but i want her take on all of it! i also...do need to write all of it. but getting a chance to slow down and take a bit of extra time with it was also very welcome. gave a guest lecture this week on a subject only vaguely related to my own work, which required a lot of extra reading (not even to know what to say, but just to be confident that i wasn't missing anything massive), and also did organize my department's halloween party, so. it's been a busy last ten days, and i'm excited to wrap some of this up.

bonus: cat pictures! thank you for reading this far, i think we will be going with luna? her grace, lunette st. cat, first marquise of dumplingdom. something.

#in lieu of a commonplace book #ilcb #weekly roundup #monthly really #Spotify

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incomingalbatross · 8 months

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Finished my first week (I don't go in on Fridays) of Commute Listening! (Plus a day technically because I did have to go in last Saturday.)

Here's the summary of the undertaking so far...and of just how much car/public transit time I've logged:

Bach's Brandenburg Concertos 1-6 My beloveds--the only classical music that IS for sure on my faves list, because in the period when I had a CD player in my bedroom and about three CDs, these were two of them. Still not sure how well I could identify them, but I recognized them once they started playing and greatly enjoyed them.

Artifexian podcast ep 1. Interesting! All about worldbuilding. Just far enough removed from my own interests (yes I love fantasy, no I don't enjoy worldbuilding, it took me years to process that) that I can listen as, like, a spectator, but also listening to two people who do love worldbuilding makes me feel more positive about it. Like the energy.

Several Masses by Haydn (St. Cecilia, Mass in B flat, Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin). Beautiful, obviously, but... did not grab me. Might just be that Masses and commuting are not the right combination. Might be my chant-inclined mind going "you're drawing out the words too much." Idk.

Art of Manliness ep 1, about Easy Company. INteresting and informative—a window into a subject I wouldn't have sought out on my own.

Out Alive ep 1. About a skier buried in an avalanche! Again, not something I would have sought out myself, but hearing the skier and the other people involved talk about the impact of a crisis situation and near-death experience, without any polish or dramatization... oof. Really interesting.

Reply All Billed as a "podcast about the internet," the first ep was about a social situation enabled by the internet. Also interesting as a window into someone else's personal experience that I don't think you'd quite get in any other medium than this unpolished interview format. This time about relationships instead of death, though.

In the Wind (album) by Peter, Paul and Mary. Branching aside from classical for some folk, since I was in the headspace for something between podcasts and instrumentals. Good! I recognized several of the songs but definitely not all. They also reminded me of several other country and folk artists I could listen to if I want to keep going down that road, in addition to listening to more of their work.

Vivaldi Concertos for Diverse Instruments GOOD. I loved these! They got stuck in my head afterward! Definitely want to try more Vivaldi. Also reinforcing my theory that any kind of music is good music if it involves violins going wild.

Mozart Violin Concertos 3-5 ALSO very very good. And I think I could hear the cleaner/plainer sound of Mozart as opposed to the baroque I'd just been listening to.

My Writing Sucks podcast ep 1, in which an author lovingly roasts her 14-year-old self's writing. Very fun. Endearing. Kinda makes me want to pull out my oldest, worst writing and approach it from an outside perspective, which I think would be Growth if my fragile ego could actually follow through on that. :P Maybe after a few more episodes of this.

Pints With Aquinas episode 1. This is an introductory episode giving background on Aquinas, as opposed to later episodes which will have more actual theology. Already good, though. Little harder for me to stay focused than some of the more fun ones, but I'll be coming back.

Classics for Kids Short and educational segment about classical music. Definitely told me things I don't know! A little short and a little flat in delivery for my needs, but good stuff.

Stuff You Missed in History Class ep 1. Interesting, but same issue as the above—it was just short. I need to check if episode length varies, and if they're all short I might load up six or so at once to give it a better trial. It was interesting but I couldn't get much flavor from one segment.

In conclusion, this project is definitely a success so far. I've been enjoying my commutes even when there's traffic, and I feel like I'm taking in things that I enjoy and are constructive in some way! It's fun for me. And I have a bunch of podcasts in store for next week that I haven't even touched yet.

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shrekgogurt · 4 months

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WORDS

This is a sappy creative talking about being creative post. You have been warned. I did not proofread because I am nothing if not consistent in my personality.

I just got done watching Season 2 episodes 3&4 of the FX’s The Bear and I’m constantly inspired by their storytelling. The two episodes I watched really leaned into the creative process in a way that made me very reflective. I am terrible in a kitchen. However, I really saw similar patterns in my own pursuits.

I have a dear friend who studied brains in university and when I was at my lowest a few months ago she was telling me about how life is just skills. Things like IQ are bullshit. Everybody can do anything if they put the time in. It’s about just choosing skills and developing them. I get mad that I can’t draw. I get mad that I can’t play guitar well. Those are skills I’ve never worked on because the process doesn’t bring me joy, even though they are skills I wished I had. Meanwhile things like science or sports are areas I’ve never had much interest in cultivating anyway so the lack of skill doesn’t bother me as much.

I think about my skillset now a lot more. I think about how learning piano—while I’m frustrated by my lack of expertise—doesn’t make me literally cry while I’m learning. I embrace the challenge unlike something like drawing where I get so upset with myself it’s not fun anymore. This past fall while my confidence was totally shot (for a lot of reasons) I looked at my ability to sit at a keyboard and just play the same riffs from Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights over and over and over and over until I could do them. I learned I could do hard things. That maybe I’m not a total lazy piece of shit who gives up at the first sign of trouble.

And the beautiful thing is? That wasn’t always the case with piano. I’ve dabbled here and there throughout my life but when I first took piano lessons as a kid I HATED them. I didn’t enjoy putting in the work. But I do now because people change. And so maybe one day I will learn to draw but not right now. And that’s okay.

And then I start thinking about singing. There’s this sentiment that people are just naturally gifted, especially at singing. But at least for me that’s not the case. I’m good at singing because as a kid I loved it. I gravitated toward it. I sung all the time to the radio, mimicking the voices I heard. And I listened to SO MUCH music—partially because of my parents but also because I chose to always have the radio or a CD or my trusty mp3 player going. When I was playing with my dolls. When I was riding my bike. When I was in the shower. When I was at dance class. When I was dragged along to my siblings' sports games, I would build worlds while tuned into the nearest iHeartRadio station. (Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams. I loved it. I loved the storytelling. Pt. 1 but oh when the oh so rare Pt. 2 came through over the FM waves it was the best day of my life.)

Eventually, my parents put me into voice lessons. I learned how to sing rather than mimic. (Not that the latter is bad.) But I learned how to use it as an instrument. And I sang and I sang and I sang. In lessons. In choir. In church. That’s why I’m good at singing. It took me forever to learn how to harmonize. I was a soprano—it was always melody. But I’m learning that too as my voice changes. I can’t sing as high as I used to. I haven’t practiced notes off the staff since high school. Life is just skills. I was focusing on different ones. Like film (but we’ll get to that.)

There was something else always there. I don’t know how many people knew it—the extent. You had to live with me to see it…but I loved nothing more than I loved reading.

I always had my nose in a book. Like a lot of kids who consumed books non-stop it was definitely escapism. But I read and I read and I read. The classic question in my family was “where is Mary?” And the answer was always “in her room.” And if I wasn’t reading a story I was creating one. With my dolls yes, but eventually with my tiny little acer computer and with my thumbs in the notes app on my iPod Touch. (I still maintain that the notes app is where the best art happens.)

It was May in my eighth grade pre-Algebra class when my friend told me what FanFiction was and about how she had an account on good ole fanfiction.net. I made one too. I joined a Divergent roleplaying forum that lasted two months. I started writing a long-abandoned backstory for my character—Antoine, named at intermission of the high school production of West Side Story I was watching. It was bad. But I didn’t know it at the time. I thought I was doing something important and I guess I was.

The Divergent forum didn’t last long but a few months later I would create my own. Welcome to Camp Half Blood! Join in! Make an OC! I brought my friends over from the old forum and even as Admin my authority was immediately usurped. We built worlds. And then we rebuilt them. And then our worlds had baby worlds. Generation 1, Gen 1.5 (you suggest a teen pregnancy plot line as a joke one time while on a choir trip in Yorkshire ONE TIME and then you wake up and uh oh two characters are actually teen pregnant), Gen 2, on and on and on. There’s a whole Google Sheets document. It’s deeply comprehensive and filled with all our faceclaims and timelines and playlists.

We rarely wrote action in our roleplay. We mainly talked. Dialogue and dialogue and dialogue for years. I get compliments now on my dialogue in fics. It didn’t come from nowhere. It came from cringe-y exchanges with my friends as we fell in love with each other’s self inserts over and over and over again. I stayed up on school nights until 2am quietly wheezing only to fall asleep in Algebra 1 over my scribbled cursive poetry on the graph paper. Life is skills. I was choosing which ones to build.

It was never math.

It was stories.

In the singing. In the dance (competition team—burned me out. I was never the best athlete. I was always the most expressive. I was telling the story.) In the theatre. And in the little fan videos I would make with my friends for our OCs over on fanfiction.net.

So my dumbass went to film school. And like with singing I learned about stories. How to craft them. And I wrote bad scripts. And we made bad low budget films. And I was so scared of cameras but I learned how to use them. And I directed and I got good at that especially with documentaries. Looking at all the information and chasing down the story. Telling people who were faster editors than me where to cut. Telling people who could make the camera capture what I saw in my eye what to film. God I fucking loved it. And I miss it.

Because my dumbass went to seminary. Why? Because there were these ancient stories that were really important to me that were being used to harm others. And I wanted to learn them. And I wanted to be able to show that there was a different way than the one that spews hatred. And as Phoebe Bridgers sings I “went looking for a creation myth ended up with a pair of cracked lips.” And I’m figuring all that out still. What to do with these stories that mean so much to me. How to tell them. How to Robin Hood theology.

And as my life and my faith were falling apart. I looked at my tiny little shithole apartment. And how I used to hide in my room where I felt safe. And I made that apartment feel safe. It was my room now. And I walked out to my bookshelf and I saw a book I had bought and opened it up. And on the inside of the cover there was a map just like there was in all the best books from my childhood. So I stayed up until 3am reading it. And then the next night. And the next night. And then I bought the sequel and I read about a boy who thought he was going to be something and then he wasn’t that anymore. And he was lost and angry and self-destructive just like me. But then in the last part of the trilogy he decided at the last second to try to figure it all out. And I’m still trying to do that too.

I had been writing all along—non-fiction. Papers. Essays. (Metas—really.) And I learned how to approach a text. How to analyze it in one million different ways. And I think I took those skills I learned from the Bible and I stuck them on some YA trilogy. And I thought and I thought and I had something to say.

And I wrote. And I keep getting better. Because life is just skills.

So I was watching The Bear and Will Poulter as a baker talks about how he used to see some other baker as competition. Until he decided he wasn’t and instead he just tried to keep up. And I want to keep up. And I watch these television shows and I read your fics and I get so fucking inspired.

And I look at this stupid fucking soccer fic I love with my whole chest and I think about how life is just skills and they all have led me to be able to write it. And I know that in ten years when I’m 34 I’ll probably think it’s cringey just like I think that what I wrote when I was 14 is cringey. But GOD I’m so proud of it. And I think I always will be.

Because life is just skills and I’m really glad I chose these ones.

TL;DR I’ve never been the best “athlete” (had the best skills in a particular medium) but goddamn if I’m not a good fucking storyteller.

#personal #writing #kind of ikabikam

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stedefxckingbonnet · 6 months

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requests info/intro!

hi, everyone!

i thought i'd take a quick second to introduce myself and to also formally open up requests. i'm already working on a few things, but requests really do always help and feel free to submit them at any point--but, we'll get to all of that in a moment!

my name is lavinia, and i am a uni student studying both theatre (dramaturgy specifically) and creative writing! i love to sing, act, write (obviously haha), read (i am a huge fan of classic literature, as well as donna tartt, mona awad, sally rooney, elif bautman, and ottessa moshfegh's works), go to concerts, go to the movies, style/design clothing, paint, collect records/cds, and so much more! this barely scratches the surface really but, if any of you share these interests, always feel free to reach out!

anyhow, as i said, i will officially be opening requests, and at the moment here is the media and the characters i will write for:

Our Flag Means Death

Izzy Hands (my BELOVED)

Ed Teach

Stede Bonnet

Lucius Spriggs

Jim Jimenez

Oluwande

Mary Bonnet

(more available upon request! these were just sort of my first instincts.)

Gilmore Girls

honestly, i'm pretty open to anything unless it's dean. just request and i'll see what i can do!

Gossip Girl

Blair Waldorf

Serena Van der Woodsen

Dan Humphrey

Nate Archibald

Chuck Bass (like sometimes)

Rufus Humphrey

more available upon request.

The Fosters/The Good Trouble

Callie Adams Foster

Mariana Adams Foster

Brandon Foster

Jamie Hunter

Gael Martinez

Dennis Cooper

Malika Williams

more available upon request.

Select Wes Anderson and Tim Burton characters. just ask!

Enola Holmes

Tewkesbury

Sherlock Holmes

Little Women (2019)

Jo March

Amy March

Beth March

Meg March

Laurie

Friedrich Bhaer

Star Wars

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Anakin Skywalker

Padmé Amidala

Luke Skywalker

Han Solo

Leia Organa

Kylo Ren

Finn

Poe Dameron

Ahsoka Tano

more available upon request!

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Basically me just saying I'll write Mr. Darcy. but more characters available upon request, of course.

Community

Abed Nadir

Troy Barnes

Annie Edison

Jeff and Britta I'm a little iffy on but with the right request, maybe. don't hesitate to ask!

The OC

Seth Cohen

Ryan Atwood

Summer Roberts

Marissa Cooper

The Umbrella Academy

Klaus

Viktor

Ben

Five

Diego

Allison

Luther is like, not preferred for me but if you feel strongly about him and have a good request, i’ll consider it but don’t get your hopes up too high!

Once Upon a Time

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Killian Jones

Neal Cassidy

August Booth

Jefferson (The Mad Hatter)

Mulan

Ruby Lucas (Red Riding Hood)

Belle French

Mary Margaret Blanchard (Snow White)

David Nolan (Prince Charming)

Peter Pan

Robin Hood

Any others, feel free to ask! I know I left Mr. Gold (Rumple) off, but that's only because it depends with each request. Also, please specify if you want it to take place in Storybrooke pre or post curse, or in The Enchanted Forest.

Merlin

Arthur

Gwen

Morgana

Nimueh

Lancelot

any others, feel free to ask. i am just starting S2, keep that in mind.

i'll just start there for now, as honestly it's been a bit since i've written an x reader and i don't want to overwhelm myself much! but please, feel free to request at any time! I will update this frequently, as I am always either getting into new things or remembering things I already love. I am mostly dedicated to OFMD right now, but you may also leave requests for other fandoms and I will keep them on file, or who knows, perhaps even get to them sooner than you may imagine! Have a wonderful day (or night!), and don't forget to request!

yours truly,

lavinia

me filing through all of your requests (hopefully!)

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cyberpunkonline · 7 months

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Hey there, gamer fren! Buckle up, because we're about to dive headfirst into the pixelated time capsule of the 16-bit era, where video games pushed boundaries, buttons, and occasionally, a few more than that. Grab your joystick, my 90s rebel, as we explore the most controversial games that made Mary Whitehouse clutch her pearls and the censors hit the panic button.

Setting the 90s Scene: A Blast from the Past

Before we embark on our journey through pixelated provocations, let's set the stage. The 90s were an era of frosted tips, slap bracelets, and some wild societal norms. It was a time when over-the-top action heroes were all the rage, and people seemed to think shoulder pads were an essential fashion accessory.

In the world of video games, the 16-bit era was a wild west of creativity. Developers were pushing the limits of technology, storytelling, and, occasionally, good taste. Some games, in their quest for edginess and boundary-pushing, left parents, politicians, and pundits clutching their Walkmans in shock.

Hot Coffee and Controversy: "Mortal Kombat"

"Mortal Kombat" wasn't just a game; it was an outrage sensation. Released in 1992, this iconic fighter was infamous for its graphic, over-the-top violence. Spines were ripped out, heads were decapitated, and buckets of pixelated blood were spilled. This gore-fest had parents petitioning for stricter game ratings faster than you could shout "Finish Him!"

But wait, there's more! The Genesis version of "Mortal Kombat" featured a code that unlocked a "blood mode," which was like cranking the violence dial up to eleven. It wasn't just the uppercuts that were jaw-dropping; it was the moral outrage that followed.

Banned in the USA: "Night Trap"

Next up, we have "Night Trap." This Sega CD game was a full-motion video thriller that put you in control of a security system in a sorority house. But here's the kicker – it was accused of promoting voyeurism and even had scenes with scantily clad actresses in peril.

This game, along with the controversy surrounding it, was one of the key factors leading to the creation of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). So, while "Night Trap" was banned in some places, it also played a pivotal role in shaping the game rating system we have today.

Pixel Passion: "Leisure Suit Larry"

Now, let's talk about Larry. "Leisure Suit Larry" was a series known for its saucy humor and risqué themes. Larry Laffer, the hapless protagonist, was on a quest for love in all the wrong places. With its suggestive content and mature themes, Larry's adventures had tongues wagging and critics clutching their pearls.

Hellish Horrors: "Doom"

Enter the gates of Hell with "Doom." This first-person shooter brought gamers face to face with demons, gore, and a visceral sense of violence. "Doom" wasn't just controversial; it was a moral panic waiting to happen. Critics feared that it could corrupt the youth and turn them into bloodthirsty fiends. But for gamers, it was a thrill ride into the darkest corners of gaming.

Thrill Kill: The Game That Never Was

Now, let's talk about a game that pushed the envelope so far it got locked in a padded cell. "Thrill Kill" was a fighting game that was so violent and sexually explicit that it was never officially released. The game's content was so over-the-top that it became the stuff of legends, a game so controversial it was deemed too hot for the market.

Carmageddon: Driving on the Edge

Last but not least, we have "Carmageddon," a game that turned racing into a gleeful vehicular manslaughter extravaganza. Players mowed down pedestrians and rival drivers in a race to the finish line. Unsurprisingly, this vehicular violence stirred up quite a storm, with some countries even banning the game or demanding that it be censored.

Conclusion: Are We Better Off Now?

So, Tengushee, the big question is, are we better off now? The 16-bit era gave us a taste of gaming's wild side, pushing boundaries and sparking conversations about content and responsibility. It paved the way for better regulation, more diverse storytelling, and a more nuanced understanding of what video games can be.

Sure, the controversy was wild, but it also led to growth and maturity in the gaming industry. Today, we have a thriving landscape of games that cater to every taste, from family-friendly fun to mature and thought-provoking experiences. So, while we'll always have a soft spot for the pixelated provocations of the 16-bit era, it's safe to say we're better off now.

Thanks for taking this radical trip down memory lane, joystick wagglers. Until next time, keep those game controllers charged, and remember, the 90s may be gone, but their spirit lives on in the pixels of history.

- Raz

#gaming #90s #retrogaming #retro gaming

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milf-bait · 11 months

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Earworms

I couldn't solve it. All this power within my fingertips, all these years of research and magical practice - and still I couldn't remember the damned name of that song my head decided to put on repeat. It was something slow, I knew that. Slow and sweet. Something that could have been a breakup song, or maybe just a regular love song... It was something that filled me with this sense of familiarity, which was ironic. It flowed into itself so easily in my memory, and honestly offered the perfect pace for a slow dance. My fist gently tapped at the side of my head, pushing what my Doll had called my "big brain hat" onto an angle. I didn't bother to fix it as I went through CD after CD, scouring the tracklists and playing short sections of ones that seemed familiar. None of them satisfied the song in my head. None of them matched, though some came close. I began narrowing the selection by artist, by genre... That's when I heard the song. Not mentally, but audibly. Hunched over my collection of CD's, my attention was brought towards the hallway. I could hear it being hummed. It was soft and sweet, and coming from the only other being that could be home. I practically launched from the floor onto my feet as I tracked my Doll down. It was, as expected, within the living room. The little thing flinched into an upright standing position upon seeing me, a squeak matching the click of its Mary Jane's colliding. I'd forgotten I'd gotten it a black sundress. It kind of conflicted with the straw hat it liked so much, though... At least it kept it from trying to take mine. I must have scared it from my sudden entrance. And with how I'd sprawled myself out within the doorway to keep from flinging my body into the room. "Sweetheart... My dear Puppet... What were you singing?" My question must have just made it more nervous. The poor thing was just a head shorter than myself, but it felt even smaller as I spoke. "I-I found a CD you had..." It started speaking in a low voice. I eased myself from the doorway and tried to relax despite my excitement. "I liked one of the tracks, so - I found it online, and..." "Can I see your MP3, love?" I didn't mean to interrupt it, but I couldn't wait much longer. It gently pulled its earbud out, letting the wire fall down the inside of its dress. I forgot that dress had pockets. I must have looked crazy imputing my old lock code on the screen. But the sigh of relief that sounded off seemed to relax the both of us. Although, I could understand its confusion when that sigh lead into a gentle laughter. "THAT'S what's been on my mind? Small Demons by Hip Hatchet?" I thought it would have been something from some small electronic-heavy transgirl I found through autoplay, not something so based within country music. "I-I really like it, okay!?" Though, my Doll must have thought I was making fun of it. I gently hushed it, reaching to take its shoulder in one hand and the feather duster in the other. "I know, I'm glad. It's sweet, isn't it? It made me think of you, so I was kinda desperate to remember what song it was." I don't know if it was my new closeness, or the fact I was holding it in a form, but I could have sworn a blush hit my Doll's face. Its MP3 player was snug between its shoulder and my hand, the feather duster set on a nearby table so I could work at the attached ear buds. I started to ease one into the appropriate ear for myself. "Tell you what? As a sorry and a celebration, why don't we take a break?" It gave me a slow nod before I slipped the earbud into its ear. The song was set to repeat, and replayed before I slipped it into its pocket. "I think a break is well deserved, for us both." It spoke quietly, removing its hat to set that aside as well. I already knew why. Without a moment of hesitation, it had pressed itself against my body, sliding an arm around my waist as the other took my available hand. I'd never fully get used to feeling its porcelain against my skin, but... No maybe it was my magic playing tricks on me. Even though I'd found the song that plagued my memory, there was still one mystery I couldn't find an answer to; how something like this Doll of mine could not only feel so warm, but make me feel so at home. Maybe I don't need to understand. I think I'll just enjoy it.

#WritieAlexie

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koizumicchi · 1 year

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Fantasia LOVE&KISS English Summary/Translation Part I

Confession Executive Committee Fantasia LOVE&KISS Light Novel English Summary/Translation Part I

Draft: HoneyWorks Author: Kousaka Mari

Introduction Part II

—–

T/N: Hello. I made this summary as I went over the novel early this November. I initially translated some paragraphs on my native tongue and I only converted those into English in this post. So, please excuse the, uhm, awkward sentence structures as I have not read the novel for the second time. I also want to add that all of this are originally intended for my own reading pleasure and I only meant (at first) to take down notes for the AiYuu scenes I don’t want to forget....but I ended up summarizing almost all the scenes of the chapters :( Anyways, I’d like to share the joy I feel every time I think of this novel, so please have this. I hope it’s not that messy anymore ww

Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

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ACT I

This chapter opens with Aizou reminiscing that there were times when he couldn't sing, when he couldn't hear the sound of his own heart beat. He closed himself off from the world just to escape from the noises. At present, he's singing at the studio, recording the new song of LIPxLIP. Today was the recording. He narrates that it's the first time and he had practiced a lot and tried different ways to sing. Today, it felt that he had sung his best. Aizou mentions that there are times he couldn't sing like he wanted to so he had to re-record it. So it's rare that he did it in one go, like today. He's happy. When he left the studio, it was sunset. He’s wearing his sunglasses and hat. After he crossed the busy street, he checked his phone for his schedule. The last thing on it was the recording earlier. As he continues to walk, and stopped because of the red traffic light, he hears two high school girls, who are also waiting to cross, utter his name. At the large screen above was Aizou and Yuujirou as LIPxLIP in their prince outfits. It shows a commercial of their summer LIVE. Aside from the LIVE, they're busy with their new songs, CDs, and dance and voice lessons. Aizou mentions that before his debut, his free time is mostly for studying and practicing the guitar. He didn't want to do anything other than those. He talked to his friends at school, yes, but he didn't do club activities or hang out with everyone. His home is a difficult place to stay at so he borrowed the practice room of a music store he frequents to and spent everyday there. Aizou says that it was embarrassing to see himself at a large screen, blowing kisses. Aizou remembers as a child that he was always jumping and singing on the sofa. His mother saw him like that so she applied for a singing competition for him. That was the first time he stood on-stage and sang in front of many people. Aizou was praised for his good singing, even in school, so he wanted to be a musician. However, when it was the time for the competition, he sat on the foyer 'cause he felt sick to the point of vomiting. It was because his brother pushed him that he was able to stand on-stage. After his performance, the applause and the proud smiles from his family were burned to his memory. His mother was crying but still smiling. His parents, who always fought, smiled during this moment. It made Aizou so happy. After that, he wanted to sing more in front of everyone, wanted more praise. It must have been the moment that made him dream to stand on-stage and sing for the rest of his life. A dream he really wanted to pursue. When he couldn't sing, he wished to see his dream (something he gave up on) realized, even when there was darkness everyday and he couldn't imagine his future. He had nothing left except this dream. It was his last hope. On stage, everyone will see you. Everyone will need you. So Aizou thought that if he stands on the stage and sings, perhaps someone will need him again. Perhaps he could make someone smile, or he could regain a lost connection. Aizou felt like he had no place he belonged to, so he wanted to create it himself. A place where he could feel at ease, where he can be accepted. Back to the present, Aizou chuckles while looking at the large screen. He doesn't get along well with his partner. Although he's able to understand Yuujirou and talk to him now, he's still annoyed at him and their arguments are still a daily thing. But even so, Yuujirou is his one and only partner in the world and there is no other choice but to be patient with him. Aizou thought of Yuujirou. If he remembers it correctly, he's in a magazine shoot today. For a fashion magazine. They've been working separately lately so he doesn't know his partner's schedule. YUI texted him. FT4 are people he respected but also ones he doesn't want to lose to. YUI’s inviting him for ramen. YUI found an insanely delicious ramen shop; he's got free time, so he wanted to meet Aizou in front of the station, in thirty minutes. Aizou asked in which station and he had a feeling that what YUI meant with "insanely delicious ramen shop" is an insanely spicy ramen shop. YUI loves the super spicy kind and one time, when Aizou was invited to eat with him, Aizou lost consciousness for about three seconds because the ramen was excessively spicy! He saw hallucinations of flower gardens! So if possible, Aizou wants to eat the normal delicious ramen this time. But even so, he can't turn down YUI and agreed to go with him. He sighed. Aizou hurried across the pedestrian and headed to where YUI is. He found him immediately, sitting on the edge of a fountain. He couldn't come close to him because YUI is surrounded by women. These women recognized Aizou when YUI waved him over. Aizou tried in vain to cover his face with his hat but he was still recognized. YUI isn't even in disguise! He's popular with both men and women, yet he was calm surrounded by fans. Aizou was envious. He secretly sighed, wondering if their difference was due to FT4′s experience. YUI took him to a small shop at a narrow alley. The sign board of the shop read: “Experience the spiciness that breaks through the limits!” “Our most popular super spicy noodles that will make you faint in agony!” Aizou almost faltered. YUI says that the ramen here is super good and Aizou couldn’t escape because YUI grabbed his arm. He was pulled to seat by the counter. Aizou saw that the customers were few and he thought, it’s not that YUI chose a less crowded restaurant for him; it’s because the ramen is just too spicy that’s why only a few people eat here. He thought this restaurant is befitting to be called dangerous and sweat formed on his forehead even before he started eating. He’s set on trying a ramen that is not too spicy. But YUI ordered two servings of ramen with triple spiciness, without even looking at the menu. Aizou tried to protest, of course, but the order was already made and accepted. Aizou thought in disbelief, ‘What do you mean by triple?? There’s none in the menu?? Ah, a secret menu!’ His anxiety might have shown on his face so YUI patted his back in comfort, laughed, and assured him it’s going to be okay; because this restaurant’s ramen is not that spicy. Aizou: “YUI-san’s ‘not spicy’ is an ordinary person’s ‘extremely spicy’!” YUI tells him off that if you eat something spicy, your singing level will rise. And proudly, pointing to himself with a thumb, he said if Aizou follows in his footsteps, Aizou will find out that YUI is correct. (T/N: That’s obviously a scam, YUI. Please.) Aizou retorted in his heart. There’s no such thing!! Rather, he’s feeling a prickling pain in his throat. ‘Just how strong the throat of this person is??!!!’ YUI: Also, if you eat spicy food, you’ll become the most popular. ‘I don’t understand what he meant at all!’ Aizou threw his face down the table and groaned a little in anguish. YUI: Aizou is not trained enough. Let’s make him spread his wings, with a warm senpai’s compassion! Aizou, brows wrinkling: ‘Just what exactly are we training for??’ YUI: “Though I’d like to train your singing.” Aizou has a mountain of things he’d like to learn from YUI, the vocalist of FT4. His powerful voice moves a lot of hearts. YUI randomly says again that if Aizou eats spicy food he’ll get better. And today’s spicy ramen is the first step. Aizou admits that he hadn’t taken a single singing lesson from YUI. Before debut, the dancing lessons were from DAI and MEGU - which were very easy to understand. They taught him the basics. The singing lessons were from IV. So it can be said that thanks to FT4, Aizou and Yuujirou are who they are today. IV is the leader of FT4. He’s calm and smiling all the time but his methods are quite difficult. It could be said that he never misses to hear a difference in pitch. Even Aizou’s partner was corrected several times. DAI warned Aizou to never make IV angry, no matter what. MEGU said the consequences: or else, they’ll experience hell on this world. Aizou remembered their serious faces saying these to him on the day LIPxLIP was to receive IV’s coaching. Fortunately, they didn’t make IV angry, or experience hell, but he got an understanding on why IV was secretly feared by FT4. Behind the smile is an intense aura that is difficult to oppose. But after all, he is the leader of unusual members with a lot of problems. They also received lessons from RIO.

When they were told “because you are trained by FT4”, Aizou feels like, even on LIVEs, he cannot do a performance that would embarrass FT4. Yuujirou feels the same. Aizou doesn’t want FT4 to think he and Yuujirou are inexperienced. They want to show off their abilities and they won’t let FT4 get ahead so easily. Aizou suddenly requests for YUI to teach him skateboarding. YUI’s good in sports too and his hobby is skateboarding. He also told Aizou he does snowboarding. YUI agrees to teach Aizou but asks if he’d done it before. Aizou replies that he did a bit before, with is older brother. He thought back when his brother bought him a skateboard and they practiced with it together. But that was in elementary. YUI asks about his brother and Aizou answers that they don’t get along well now and hardly speak at home. Before though, he got along well with Ken and spent more time with him than with his friends. To Aizou, his brother was amazing. On the day his brother bought the skateboard, he was already mastering it, could do simple turns and jumps without anyone teaching him. Aizou tried to copy him but he just fell on his butt. He’s actually better at physical activities than his other classmates, but his brother is more skillful than him. Ken was good in horizontal bar, soccer, basketball, and races; and was the best in his class. He was chosen as the anchor in the relay for sports fest, and it was always him who cut the goal tape. He could’ve gotten good test scores too. However, Ken wasn't particularly proud of it, and always seemed uninterested. Ken had been told by their mother that despite his good grades, he lacked enthusiasm. But their mother’s words were ignored. The people around them probably thought it was a waste but Ken himself didn’t seem to see much value in what he has. Ken is skillful and has the knack for it so he can do anything above average, but he quickly got bored. The same with the skateboard. He stopped doing it and left. The reason Aizou had quit was because he got bored and unmotivated without his brother; and eventually, he just lost enthusiasm. During middle school, Aizou and his brother stopped talking and hardly ever saw each other. So Aizou didn’t know much but he heard the grades of his brother were exceptionally good. Ken didn’t get attached to anything; that was why if he thought he didn’t need it, he’d let go. Surprisingly easy and simple. No matter what it was. And once he let go of it, he’d never look back. Aizou narrates that his brother grins while looking at his phone and looks like he’s enjoying himself. Aizou thinks that it’s a good thing - that Ken found someone important and that he hopes Ken won’t let go of her. YUI, who was listening to Aizou, reached out his hand and stroked Aizou’s hair. Aizou looked at him in surprise and YUI laughed. Aizou said that they’ll buy a skateboard next time because it’s needed since he’s just a beginner and YUI replies back that he should be prepared because if he does buy it, YUI will beat him. YUI set the ramen in front of him and when Aizou looked at the bowl, he immediately thought that it’s spicy. The soup is all red and Aizou wonders in horror if it is safe to be put into the mouth. He calls YUI and asks if he can order an almond tofu after this. YUI rolls his eyes and agrees but only if Aizou finishes the ramen. After, it was YUI who paid the bill. YUI was satisfied but Aizou... he managed to eat it all but he felt like his tongue had malfunctioned and he couldn’t taste the almond tofu after eating the ramen. Aizou remarks that he wants a regular ramen next time. Absolutely. “Geez, can’t be helped. Aizou is incompetent. I understand.” YUI agrees for a regular ramen. He laughed and walked down the road with hands behind his head. YUI asks about Aizou’s partner; to which Aizou replies that Yuujirou is probably on a photoshoot for a magazine. YUI says to bring him next time with them. Aizou also mentions for YUI not to forget their promise, to which YUI replies to plan it on their next day off. YUI called RIO, asking what’s he cooking for dinner and saying he’s coming over so he should leave some for him. Aizou observes that FT4 is in good terms...but compared to him and Yuujirou...he just sighs. He remembers Yuujirou and thinks that the photoshoot was already over by now. The time now is before 10 PM. Yuujirou must be home now. Aizou starts walking. As he goes out into the main street, he is suddenly tackled from behind by something. Aizou turns in surprise and sees a familiar dog clinging to his leg. It’s Hotaru, Yuujirou’s dog; pulling the leash is Yuujirou, Aizou’s partner. Yuujirou’s wearing his hat and glasses as a disguise, so Aizou easily recognized him. Yuujirou’s out of breath from running. “You- W...What are you doing?” “You can tell just by looking. Taking my dog for a walk!” Yuujirou answers him, angry for some reason as he’s pulling Hotaru away from Aizou. ‘Come to think of it...he walked his dog before too.’ They left the station and went to a quiet bank along the river. Aizou sat on the stairs and Yuujirou stands next to him with Hotaru. Aizou rolls a can of coffee on his hand - he bought it from a vending machine on the way here. The moon reflected on the surface of the river moves quietly every time the wind blew. “How was your shoot today?” “Nothing special. It ended like usual though.” “I see...” Aizou can’t think of anything else to talk about. He shakes the can of coffee on his hand to pass the time. “How about you? You did recording, right?” “Ah- I did great.” “Hmmm.” “Is that all.” Yuujirou, who was gazing at the river, looked back at Aizou with a wry smile. “Is there anything else you’d like me to ask you?” “No...nothing else. Do you always take a walk at this hour?” “Today...” Aizou, as he was sitting down, looked up at Yuujirou who stopped talking. “What is it?” “Father and Koichirou were arguing again. It’s tiresome so I went out.” Aizou asks if Yuujirou’s father and little brother are in good terms. To which Yuujirou asks him back if it is Koichirou’s rebellious phase. Yuujirou’s hair and clothes swayed with the wind. Aizou choked and put his hand to his mouth. Even though he thinks it is not a laughing matter, Yuujirou’s way of saying it is strange. Yuujirou admits that he doesn’t talk to Koichirou very much. But lately, Koichirou’s mood has been bad and Yuujirou thinks he’s in a slump. Yuujirou’s been bumping to their father lately too because he was taking a break from practice. ----- LOVE&KISS AU > Aizou and Yuujirou shared the same room (accidentally) and argued as usual > The older man attacked by the monsters was the owner of a run-down inn. It was out of business since the monsters started appearing. He let the two stay there because he was worried for them. It was both an apology and a thank you for the help. > many of the other inns were closed so aizou and yuujirou couldnt find a place to stay. > shared the same room because the other rooms were unavailable because of the leak of the rain > a braided girl about 14-15 years old brought them bread and soup and thanked them for helping her father. she mentions the princess had shut herself in the castle. > yuujirou calls the princess incompetent but the girl defends the princess and denies she’s incompetent. the princess is kind and intelligent and thinks about the people first. > the girl mentions the princess only changed when the king died. IDOL AU > Script Reading. Aizou was panicking inside. When he looked at Yuujirou, Yuujirou was hardly looking at the script and Aizou assumed he must have memorized it already. Aizou read the script when he received it, he even underlined his lines. But he hasn’t been on a musical, not been taught, so he doesn’t know how to do it. > Yuujirou glanced at Aizou but didnt say anything. > Aizou lost confidence and thinks he can’t do it. He couldn’t follow the lines halfway. He was steadily reading at first but he became quieter. HIs voice suddenly stopped and the room fell silent. His head was blank. > Yuujirou kicked his leg under the table. Yuujirou is looking forward, holding a pen. > Aizou complains it hurt but he realized it’s his turn to read. He hurriedly flipped through the pages and honestly admitted he didn’t know how far they were in the script. > The other actors laughed and this relaxed Aizou so he smiled. > The director was angry though. He called Aizou an amateur. Everyone was silent. He even asked if Aizou’s role was a mob character. It’s not! You’re the main actor! And he said more, even though Aizou couldn’t do it, he still accepted the role; that Aizou was underestimating his butai. > Aizou stood up and bowed in apology. He whispered but the director reprimanded his quiet voice, so Aizou shouted his apology. > The director said to hire a better actor than him. > Aizou in his head admitted it was his fault. He wasn’t ready for the role, and didn’t even remember his lines. He should’ve told them during the selection that he had no acting experience. He thought he’s supposed to be instructed on what to do....but Yuujirou and the others were doing just fine without instructions. He was naive. So he bit his lower lip, stayed silent, and accepted the director’s words. > Suddenly, there was a loud sound. It was Yuujirou. Aizou was surprised to see him standing up. The other actors was staring at Yuujirou as well. One could tell Yuujirou was mad just with a glance. Even the director was silent. > Yuujirou says that there were no instructions to memorize the entire script. And even said in addition, that there are others who did not remember as well. > Aizou pulled the sleeve of Yuujirou’s clothes and wanted to stop him. But Yuujirou brushed away Aizou’s hand as if it was hindering him. > Yuujiro says that they should’ve admitted they have no butai experience. But isn’t it his job (the director) to guide them and put their talents to best use. Director: Who are you talking to sounding so condescending? Yuujirou: You. > Director complains that what’s wrong with LIPxLIP. The other is a total amateur and the other is rude and cheeky. > Yuujirou requests for a little bit better guidance from him. The director got angrier of course lmao > Aizou panicked. It’d be a big problem if the director became angrier than this. Aizou admits his own fault for not being prepared. > Director asks if he can even use people like this for his butai. > In the hallway, outside the conference room. It was quiet. Yuujirou’s walking faster than usual. Aizou grabs his arm when he caught up with him. “Wait!” Yuujirou did not turn his way though. He’s looking to the side with his brows furrowed. Aizou sighs and let go of Yuujirou’s arm. “Sorry. It was my fault.” and Aizou says that if he had properly done it, then the director wouldn’t have been angry. And because of him, Yuujirou felt and faced the negativity too. Yuujirou finally looked at him and asks him why is he apologizing. It’s the director who was wrong. Why does Aizou put up with it, when Aizou doesn’t deserve what the director said. To which Aizou replied with, he made the director angry so it cant be avoided...and he even brought trouble to Tamura. Yuujirou: If you think so, then go and apologize to the director on your own. I will not come with you. Yuujirou: *walks to the door* Aizou asked himself what to do. He sighed. There’s no other choice but to go back to the agency to report to their manager and President. After all, he was the one responsible for this.

-----

ACT II

yuujirou plays the piano in the cathedral to further prove to the guards that he and aizou are traveling entertainers and not suspicious people ww aizou sings (because he was kinda forced by yuujirou and there's no other way to convince the guards) aizou sings and later on gets lost because he's enjoying it. even when yuujirou stopped playing the piano at the end of the song, aizou carries on and sings in acapella. the guards and yuujirou are all silent, just listening to his voice. and yuujirou loves it lol. when aizou realized, the music had stopped, he was embarrassed ww their little performance was useless though. they were still captured by the guards and brought to prison HAHA ~ yuujirou, when they were in the dungeon: when i'm with you bad things happen *repeats for 2-3 times* aizou screams when he found bones in the dungeon he mistakenly thought as human bones. yuujirou retorts it's probably from chicken (? something edible) aizou: and it's dark here, ok!!! yuujirou, sighing: when i'm with you- aizou: i'm tired of hearing that!!! ~ still inside the dungeon: aizou's hungry and says if he knew this would happen he should've gotten some food. yuujirou: it’s not in the plan that we’ll be imprisoned

aizou: oh, you wont say it?

(pertaining to yuujirou's line 'when i'm with you bad luck happens' or something in variation ww) and the two of them laughed ~

“in the legend, wasn’t the dragon crushed and all that was left was the jewel?” "never heard of a dragon getting resurrected in any country."

“then the ghost ng dragon or something. must be because of the resentment of being exterminated that's why it revived."

“sometimes there are moments you just suddenly remember something and get angry." ~ escaping the dungeon thanks to the help of the princess' sister

aizou: what’s the problem? hurry up and get on (the horse) yuujirou: what are you saying, it's impossible! aizou: ha? dont tell me, you don’t know how???? yuujirou: there's no way- i havent even practiced riding a horse! and i wasn’t aware there’d be something like this!!

aizou: ....how did you even travel until now.... and yuujirou answers with, he gets on carriages (like those from a noble family) alsjflsjflsjflsjfslj

aizou: aren’t you high-class!!???!!! aizou: *puts his hand to his forehead as if he's having a headache and let out a deep breath* aizou: we don’t have time to teach you!

yuujirou: nobody asked you to!! what's worse is, yuujirou's horse has a violent temper. the type which doesn’t listen and will shake you off any time.

aizou: cant be helped then aizou got off his horse and then gives the reigns to yuujirou. "hold on to it" yuujirou: i won’t ride on that. it’s better if you go ahead first. *turns around to walk off*

AIZOU HELD HIM AND PUSHED HIM UP ONTO THE SADDLE ALSJFLSJFSLFJA anyways, yuuijrou's body shook and he seems to fall, and he pulled the reigns. the black horse quivers as if to disagree with him. yuujirou's pale and he lets out a tiny squeak. aizou calmed down the horse. aizou: see, you’re able to get on. aizou, thinking: i'll make do later yuujirou: no!!! you let me get onto this!!

and then the horse rushed forward with all its might HAHA yuujirou screams. aizou: dont be thrown off! i'll catch up with you soon! yuujirou: leave me alone!!! i absolutely will never forgive you for the rest of my life!!!!!!

yuujirou turns to look at him, stiffening. and aizou sees him off with a smile. they're headed to the mountains in the north, where the snow dragon is said to reside.

-----

ACT III

aizou asked help to the girl who played the princess (real name: rino), to teach him about the script and acting. the girl asks him if he's not gonna ask yuujirou. aizou stutters that it's not a good time to ask yuujirou. his thoughts were: when he’s together with yuujirou, they don’t really talk with each other. and aizou himself barely initiates a conversation...

the girl agrees to teach him. in exchange though, she wants aizou to teach her how to dance. the girl playing the princess' sister (real name: aoi) also asked for him to teach her. aizou agrees.

~ rehearsals:

yuujirou was scolded again by the director. it’s been 2 hrs since they’re stuck into this one scene (yuujirou and guards arguing in the cathedral). the director orders yuujirou to do it over and over again because he didnt like the way how yuujirou acts. as yuujirou repeated this scene for the nth time, yuujirou forgot his line and the director got angry again. yuuirou asked to do the scene once more, but as usual, the director’s angry and he was told to leave the rehearsal room.

aizou, who saw this, removed his hat (the LOVE&KISS costume) and handed it over to a staff. he went after yuujirou. corridor: aizou grabs yuujirou's arm. yuujirou stops but doesnt look at him. aizou doesnt know what to say. so he didnt open his mouth. but as yuujirou's partner, he cant just leave yuujirou alone.

aizou: are you ok? yuujirou: about what? aizou's still not seeing yuujirou's expression. he looks down, looking for the words to say to yuujirou. yuujirou: rather than worrying for other people, worry about yourself first. *shakes off aizou's hand and tries to leave* clenching his fist, aizou called yuujirou. "hey! let's step down already!" yuujirou suddenly stopped. aizou: because. that old man. he’s unreasonable. it’s hard to see eye-to-eye with him.

aizou knows that there’d be a lot of people who would be inconvenienced if they quit halfway. that'd be irresponsible of them. aizou wanted to do his part of course. to do it 'til the end. but for things to come to this? he wants to put an end to this now with yuujirou.

yuujirou slowly turned around to face aizou.

aizou, lowering his gaze as to not meet yuujirou's eyes: isnt it already enough? aizou knows that yuujirou is stubborn and hates to lose. but aizou doesnt want yuujirou to break himself. yuujirou, with eyes not wavering, looking straight at aizou: do you want to quit?

aizou: anymore than this, it’s too tough. no matter how i think about it. yuujirou: alright. then you quit, aizou. but me? i won't. aizou: why??!! aizou rants to him that nothing will happen if they continue the musical. that director wont ever acknowledge them. because in the first place, he doesnt like them!

aizou's thoughts: we’re being stepped on..what’s the use of fighting and carrying on... even if we achieve the musical, nothing would be left of us.

aizou: why are you trying to be stubborn??? at this point, it's the right thing to do! yuujirou: if we give up now, then what the director said about us would be true

yuujirou: but this...this is only what i want to do. if you don’t want to, aizou, you don't have to force yourself. i think that's also the right thing to do.

*walks out*

narrator: and yuujirou doesn't want to look at aizou again :)))

~ after several days, it’s aizou’s day off. but he decided to use it to read the script for the musical. that's why, he headed to the music store he goes to. but when he’s climbing up the stairs and opened the door, he hears the sound of a piano. since before debut, aizou frequents here, but yuujirou also visits to practice on his own. this is probably the only place that yuujirou can practice the piano because he cant do it in the someya house. now, yuujirou's practicing the song of the cathedral scene in the musical. aizou’s solo, with yuujirou's piano accompaniment. about 5min in duration. it's a highlight of the musical but it’s also a pressure for aizou. the only thing na supporting him, is yuujirou's piano. aizou has singing lessons after their rehearsals but he can’t pass it... if he cant sing it properly, the whole scene will be ruined. and it will affect the performance overall. so aizou's lost on what to do.

meanwhile, yuujirou usually plays the notes carefully but now the tempo is fast and aggressive. aizou sits down next to the door. he's hesitating to go inside. but as he listens to yuujirou's piano, he hums the song. naturally. no pressure. his voice is low so yuujirou wont hear him. aizou looks down and whispers, "i do not know what to do anymore”

aizou's thoughts: idk the right thing to do. but if i don’t stand up now, if i run away and leave yuujirou, i will regret it my whole life. i don’t want to be a coward like that.

aizou quietly goes down the stairs without seeing yuujirou. downstairs is the shop itself. aizou goes to the counter. ever since in middle school, he was often asked to look after the store when the owner’s not here. when yuujirou's there at the practice room upstairs, aizou's here.

he gets the script and reads it but can't focus. so he slumps on the countertop and asks himself what he should do. yuujirou already stated that he wont withdraw, so he intends to finish the stage no matter what. aizou curses that yuujirou's so stubborn lol.

aizou's thoughts: of course i cant just quit on my own.

the girl who played the princess advised him: you dont have to force yourself to act. isnt it just fine to be yourself?

aizou's thoughts again: yuujirou said that at the beginning too... reading the script again, he recalls rino and aoi's advice. then suddenly there's something hot on his head. it's the owner of the store, bringing takoyaki for aizou. the owner sees the script and asks aizou if it's a stage play. aizou confirms and says it's a musical. the owner of the shop: there’s always a first time for everything. either way, isn't it ok to just be your usual self? aizou: that's the third time someone said that to me!! aizou admits that in practice, he doesnt have the courage to act silly. if he tries to make someone laugh, the director will turn into a demon for sure, and shout at him to get out. the owner: idk anything about stage plays or musicals but it's important to move the audience and make them cry. it's also important to make them laugh and enjoy the play. you can do that right, aizou? you're an idol. an entertainer!

the owner asks aizou to man the shop and mentions he also bought takoyaki for yuuirou. he leaves aizou be. aizou complains that he shouldn't man the shop because what if the fans see him...then the shop will become popular... aizou wants the shop to remain as it is and keep it a secret. aizou reads the script again. and he realizes how his character there and yuujirou's character are similar to them irl. his partner, who doesnt yield no matter what stands in the way, believes that it's possible, and try to carry on. the main characters argue a lot too. aizou thought about how it really seems the characters are him and yuujirou. and came to a realization. there's no need to act. no need to force himself to be someone else. the character in the script is aizou, not anyone. he finally understood what yuujirou, rino and morita (the owner of the store) had said. aizou doesn't have the ability to act as someone right now anyway, so he'll just throw himself into the story. he thinks there's a chance that he can finally do it. having found a breakthrough, aizou rushes out of the shop. as he's looking up at the evening sky, the stars are twinkling and he hears someone coming down the stairs.

it's yuuijrou - he stops when he notices aizou. yuujirou's halfway down the stairs. aizou looks up at him. aizou: i actually wanted to run away. yuujirou listened silently and lowers his gaze.

because isn’t it easier to just give up and quit if i can’t do it anymore. *cue in the wind swaying their hair* looking at yuujirou, aizou raises his hand, makes a fist, and aims it at yuujirou. aizou: if i run, i won't get what i want. aizou: right? *smiles at yuujirou* yuujirou's eyes were wide in surprise. he came down the stairs. yuujirou: .....you realized it now?

aizou: my bad, then!! yuujirou, looking down: *is laughing* aizou had only seen yuujirou's stern/stiff expressions since their rehearsals started so it's been a while since he saw yuuijirou's smile/laughing face. yuujirou: why...are you thrusting your fist out and trying to look cool? aizou: it’s fine, right??? it's my determination!! an expression of my resolve!!! beside aizou, who's red in the face and starting to walk, yuujirou kept laughing. aizou's thoughts: yuujirou will definitely do something about himself. so it's better to believe in him and leave him be. oh right, i have things i need to do by myself as well. they part ways and aizou rushes into a bookstore to buy books about stage plays and musical. when he's home, he reads them, like cramming for a test overnight. Kuro climbs onto aizou's desk and meows and rolls over. aizou sighs. aizou be like, why does this cat plays around when im busy. he doesnt have the time to play with him so he picked up kuro and placed him on his shoulders. aizou reached for the book again and resumed reading.

-----

ACT IV

LOVE&KISS AU arrives at the foot of the mountain. there’s already a snowstorm. as far as the eyes can see, everything is dyed white. aizou pulls the reigns of his horse and reaches for yuujirou’s. yuujirou was clinging to the horse and he fearfully lowered his leg to get down. he fails to land properly. aizou laughed at him. yuujirou: as i thought, when you’re with me, nothing good happens to me?

aizou: is that true? one good thing happened to you?

yuujirou: ha? and what’s that? aizou: because of me you were able to ride a horse yuujirou: i did not! i won’t ride a horse for a second time! aizou: dont worry, we’ll walk on the way back. aizou’s horse is white. yuujirou’s, black. aizou hands the bow to yuujirou and then releases the horses. yuujirou: if we will be able to go back.

aizou asks if they’ll still continue. the royal sister wont look for them. if they cross the border, no one would pursue them. so what if they run away from all of this. who would they even apologize to, for being cowards?

yuujirou answers that if aizou wants to turn back, then he can. but he isnt going with him. he’s on his own looking for the jewel anyway. it’s not like they walked together in the beginning. yuujirou had always been alone.

aizou sighs and secures his rapier around his waist and puts his hat on. he follows yuujirou. he glances at yuujirou next to him but yuujirou said nothing. ~ as they continue walking, the snow is so heavy. the blizzard obscures their vision. suddenly, aizou slips on the ice and lands on his buttocks. and then there’s an avalance. aizou tries to stand up. the moment yuujirou sees aizou’s stiff expression, he clenches his teeth and shoves aizou away. yuujirou was hit by the avalanche aizou: h-hey!! hang in there!! hey!! yuujirou appears to hear aizou calling him desperately. but he can only grab the snow with his weak hands. yuujirou’s thoughts: see, just as i thought, when i’m with you..... *loses consciousness* aizou, muttering: which is the good-natured/soft-hearted one here??? yuujirou opens his eyes and hears his muttering. aizou’s carrying him; yuujirou’s arms around aizou’s shoulders. yuujirou looks at the hand(s) holding his shoulder: swollen red and bleeding. yuujirou: ....your gloves? his voice was faint but it reached aizou. aizou, in a bad mood as if angry: it went somewhere he must have pushed his way through the snow to rescue yuujirou when the avalanche buried him. it’s either aizou lost his gloves or he threw them away so he can immediately find yuujirou. yuujirou’s thoughts: sighs.... yuujirou attempts to stand on his own (?) but his foot slipped and he was about to fall over. his body was firmly pulled up by aizou. aizou: hey, walk properly. i’ll leave you alone when you’re asleep. yuujirou: shut....up.... with a frown, trying to stop aizou from raising his voice, he’s able to manage to put strength into his legs and stand. aizou relaxes and puts yuujirou’s arms around his shoulder. they found a cave and took shelter inside. aizou found branches in the cave and started a fire. when yuujirou was sitting holding his knees close, aizou sat down a bit farther from him. aizou looks at his bruised palm and frowns painfully. yuujirou took out the ointment and bandages from his bag and throws them at aizou. aizou: is this a medicine for wounds? yuujirou: who knows. is it not? aizou: it’s adequate. aizou: *smells the ointment and it smells like it’s made of medicinal herbs* aizou: *applies it to his hand, wraps bandages on it, and makes sure the bandages are tight enough* good. yuujirou: *stares at him* aizou: what is it? yuujirou: ...nothing. aizou: are you thinking again that nothing good happens when you’re with me? yuujirou remains silent. after a while: aizou: hey... what will you wish for once you have the jewel? if you dont want to answer, that’s okay. i just thought that you also have a wish you want granted. that’s all. *smiles to cover up his embarrassment and throws a wood into the fire*

yuujirou, holding his knees close: it’s not that big of a deal. i just want to remember what i forgot.

aizou: .....what you forgot? yuujirou’s memories is only around the age of ten and after. he cant remember things before it. he was wandering alone in the world, couldn't remember who he was, why he was here, or who he was with. he tried other methods to remember, but it didn't work. the jewel is his last hope. yuujirou: just continuing to live without knowing who i was....i was afraid. he pulls his knees together to him and presses his lips. he never told anyone about this. he didnt mean to tell aizou. because he never wanted to be understood by anyone. perhaps the reason why he told aizou was because he had a feeling that he’ll never make it out alive. he wanted for someone to remember him. or maybe it’s just a trick made by his mind. aizou’s not responding, only looking at yuujirou with his eyes widened in shock yuujirou: what? aizou: nothing....i was surprised to know that there’s someone like me... yuujirou: ....eh? aizou tells yuujirou that he cant also remember. and the same with yuujirou, the memories he can remember were only around the time when he’s ten. it’s quite a coincidence for the two of them searching for the jewel. aizou: well, our reasons are different. it’s only my family who i cant remember. yuujirou: are you going to meet them once you do? aizou denies it. meeting them might bring him trouble, or maybe not. but either way, if he could remember...then he will feel that he’s not alone in this world. aizou: or something...you’d think so, right? yuujirou: not at all. i didnt think so. yuujirou lies down with his back to aizou and closes his eyes. he uses his arm as a pillow. aizou didnt say anything more. the next day, the sky’s blue. the summit is closer, too. they can reach it today if they keep going. when yuujirou steps on the snow and starts to walk, aizou stops him. the sun seems to fall. the sound of thumping. a strong wind. yuujirou managed to look up and when he did, he drops his hat. aizou has his mouth half-open. the snow dragon is here.

aizou: just now....you saw it right? yuujirou: i did. aizou: follow it! yuujirou: dont order me! they both ran after it. however, at the summit, there was no dragon. yuujirou noticed something though that hit his toe, and when he crouched down, it’s a bluish transparent stone never seen before. there are similar ones around them. aizou: that’s a strange stone. he also picks one up and looked through it in the sunlight. yuujirou: not a stone. seems like a scale. aizou: ...dragon scales? yuujirou: ...seems to be. then that would mean there is a nest here. aizou: looks like we should get off this mountain asap the request of the princess’ sister is to not slay the dragon. only to investigate what happened to the late king (why he died), maybe find a clue. yuujirou sees a sword on the snow. he pulls it out; it has a rose crest on the hilt. if they bring back the sword, that would do. staying further in the mountain would be useless. yuujirou puts the sword in its scabbard - also found half buried in the snow.

#LIPxLIP #fantasia rabukisu #aizou #yuujirou #honeyworks #lipxlip translation

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