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thran-duils · 3 years

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Use All Of Me (P.3)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Three) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,382 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Notes: This relationship is going to go ~downhill~ from healthy really quick. Please do not read if that is going to offend you.

If anyone is interested in a playlist I am using for this while I write...

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Sweating, you brushed the sweat from your brow. Even though you had changed out of your original dress and swapped it for shorts and a tank, you were still hot. The club was packed considering it was a live music night, with Every Time I Die headlining in their home state. Thankfully the show had not been sold out entirely when you had shown up. You doubted it had stayed that way since the main set had started and it was after 10pm.

Keith yelled into the mic, encouraging people to come up on stage with them for the next song.

The shape of your data got me astral projecting But I think you and I, we need to talk

The room was alive, people crowding the stage as people began to find their way up there, headbanging around the artists before diving off the stage to welcome arms.

“I wanna do that!” you yelled over the music to Yua. The pair of you were further into the crowd than Natalie and your other couple friends. You were sure they were still standing by one of the tables up the stairs.

“Are you serious, Y/N?” she laughed, looking jubilant.

“You should!” the guy, Joseph, that had attached himself to yours and Yua’s side during the show encouraged you. He was cute enough, was not handsy – a huge plus especially in a huge crowd where people had been drinking or doing drugs.

You teased, “You just want to be one of the people holding us.”

He let out a laugh and said over the music, “If you think so lowly of me, maybe I need to prove myself a little harder!”

Yes, he certainly was cute. You beamed at him. Maybe you would not end up alone tonight.

“Here! Let’s go up!” Yua said, tugging on your arm. “Just make sure you don’t get punched in the face if you get too close to the mosh pit.”

The two of you shoved your way through the crowd towards the stage.

<> <> <>

Natalie craned her neck to look over the crowd to where Yua and Y/N had been. They were no longer there and she sighed. She hoped they were not getting themselves into trouble, mainly the mosh pit. Yua and Y/N both had suffered bruises before and still went back. They insisted it was fun; she saw nothing fun about it, she rather enjoyed watching the show from afar where she could enjoy it in more relative peace.

“What’s wrong?” Ada asked her over the music.

“I can’t find Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.”

Miriam asked what she said from across the table and Natalie repeated herself.

“They’re fine. They can handle themselves,” Miriam reassured her. “We’ve been in worse places with a far rougher crowd and they’ve managed.”

“Too true,” Natalie agreed.

Over the heads of the crowd, Natalie’s eyes came to rest on a familiar face. Her stomach dropped seeing Steve, who looked entirely displeased. He was searching the crowd and she had a great idea of who he was looking for.

“Shit,” she said out loud. She looked back over the crowd desperately. It was not going to look good if Y/N was still flirting with that other random guy. She was worried for that potential mess with someone like Steve.

“What?” Ada asked confused, following her line of sight. She of course did not recognize what Natalie did because she did not know who Steve was yet.

Leaning in closer to the pair, she explained, “Y/N’s date from tonight, yeah? The one that stood her up? He’s here.”

“What?” Miriam gasped, standing up trying to figure out who it was in the general direction Natalie had been looking.

“Found ‘em,” Ada feebly said, pointing out across the crowd towards the stage.

Natalie and Miriam looked to the stage and Natalie wanted to scream in frustration. Both Yua and Y/N were on the stage, dancing close to the edge of the stage. Y/N dove off the stage into the crowd, Natalie tracking the spot where she had fallen onto. Her stomach flipped seeing Steve was already on his way, the crowd easily parting for someone his size. She would not make it to Y/N before he did.

She just had to let that unfold, feeling a rock sinking in her stomach.

<> <> <>

A group of people helped you slide to the ground so you could land on your feet, even if you were a little unsteady.

Joseph was there. He held up his hands and said, “No touchy. I was just here to make sure you got down okay.”

“How gentlemen like of you!” you smiled at him, tapping him on the nose.

You let out a laugh and turned back towards the stage. You could not spot Yua, you thought she would jump in the same direction as you. You stood on your tiptoes still to no avail.

Suddenly you saw her and you moved to where she was, greeting her as she came down.

“See, I told you it would be fun!” you yelled to her and she nodded in agreement. She had a wide smile planted on her face as she tried to fix her hair. You slid off an extra hair tie and handed it to her as the song ended. “Let’s go back to the table! I want another drink!”

Turning to Joseph, you grabbed his arm. “You can come with us! It’s on me!”

He looked pleased, nodding. “Alright, cool.”

His arm intertwined with yours in turn to your grasp and the two of you turned. But just like that, your smile melted away.

Steve was there blocking your way, a vexed look painted on his face. His gaze dropped down to where you and Joseph’s arms were interlinked; you could see his jaw clench at the sight.

“Steve,” you said breathlessly. “What… what are you doing here?”

Joseph seemed to catch the situation and dropped your arm, uncomfortably taking a step back. Yua came to his side instead of you. He was staring at Steve in awe, no doubt recognizing him.

“Come on,” Steve ordered you sternly, grabbing your hand and beginning to lead you through the crowd away from the stage without waiting for you to respond. You shot a look over your shoulder at Yua, seeing the worried expression on her face. Joseph leaned in to speak to her and you were sure he was asking what was going on.

He did not stop until the two of you were outside, you struggling to keep up with his stride, even with people around. They seemed to move out of his way, which did not help slow down his pace.

“Steve?” you tried as the two of you began walking down the sidewalk past the crowd outside.

He ignored you.

Away from the line, halfway down the block, he came to a sudden stop and let go of your hand roughly.

“That was foolish, Y/N.”

He was scolding you? He was the one that had stood you up.

Defensively, you told him, “It was just a bit of fun. I’m not hurt.”

“You could have been. And who was the kid?”

Kid? Joseph was most certainly in his late twenties, early thirties. Although, you were sure with how old Steve was, anyone could seem like a kid.

“Just some guy that was in the crowd,” you shrugged, trying to play it off. “He made friends with us. We were about to go have some more drinks with him. He’s cool.”

“’Cool’,” Steve drawled. You nodded, not knowing what he wanted you to say. “Looked like you were getting quite close. Like it might lead to going home.”

Cocking your head, you challenged, “You don’t get to scold me because I was hanging out with him. You’re the one who ditched me.”

Steve’s tone was laced with annoyance, “I tried to call you. Multiple times. And you didn’t answer me.”

“My phone is in my purse.”

“Well, if you would have had it on you, you would have seen that.”

Frustrated, you exasperated, “You didn’t show up!”

“I know! And I’m sorry about that. I got caught up in work.”

“And you couldn’t even send me a text?”

“There was no service.”

You scoffed and Steve’s jaw tightened. “What? That’s such a bullshit excuse. Where is there not service in NYC?”

“Underground,” Steve told you as a matter of fact.

Oh.

You opened your mouth to ask what he was doing underground but he anticipated it, “I can’t talk to you about that. You know that or you should.” You closed your mouth. He took a step closer, peering down his nose at you, a dangerous glint in his eye. “So, let me ask you again… were you planning on going home with him? If it came to that?”

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence, you knowing he knew the answer already, but he wanted you to say it out loud.

Shrugging, you said, “Yeah, sure.” Steve gave a dry laugh and you told him firmly, “I thought you were done with me. So, excuse me.”

“Yes, excuse you. What the hell were you thinking? It was the same damn night you had a date with me, Y/N!” Steve snapped.

You recoiled a bit and he sighed loudly, putting his hands on his hips. He closed his eyes, swallowing sharply, taking a few moments. “Look, I’m sorry. I was just worried about you and I’m a little high strung.”

“Worried about me?” you asked disbelieving.

“Yeah, I drove by your place and it was dark. Seemed a little odd it being so early. And with you not answering your phone… So, I checked your location to see where you were. I did not know what this place was, so I came down here to check it out. To make sure nothing had happened to you. And if you were alright, I just wanted to tell you face to face that I was sorry for not being able to get a hold of you to let you know I was going to be late. I owe you that much for missing our date. I was looking forward to it.”

He sounded sincere and the anger melted a bit at his words. He was waiting for you to say something.

“So,” you started, licking your lip. The tension was waning on you and you wanted to move on from it, salvage what you could. A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth. “Can I call you my boyfriend now? Since you’re so worried about me and all?”

Steve visibly relaxed, the tension leaving his jaw.

“Look, I’ll keep it in mind in the future you might be on some secret mission,” you told him, closing the space between the two of you, Your hand rested on his chest, playing with the edge of his leather jacket. “And I’ll keep my legs closed until I know for sure otherwise.”

“That’s a crude way to put it,” Steve responded.

“Fine. I’ll stay at home, waiting by the window, pining for you to return. Is that better?”

This drew a small smile out of him at least. He reached up to hold the side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “I quite like the idea of you pining. It paints such a pretty picture.”

“Of course you do. It’s an ego booster.” You tossed a look over your shoulder and if you were not mistaken, Steve’s grip on your neck tightened ever so slightly. “The bouncer should let us back in.”

Steve forced you to look back at him. “Not my scene.”

“Is it classical then?”

“I do enjoy that, but it’s not just that.”

Suddenly curious, you asked, “How did you get in anyway? I thought it would have been sold out.”

“It was. I spoke to the bouncer.”

“So, he’s a Captain America fan, then?”

“Something like that.”

There was something hanging in the air with that statement, but something deep down told you to leave it alone.

“Regardless, I do need to get my purse…”

“Right,” Steve said, his hand dropping to come to hold you around your waist, turning you around to walk back down the sidewalk to the door. When you got there, the bouncer saw it was Steve and nodded him through.

Instead of letting you go in alone, Steve went with you. He stood a few paces away as you grabbed your purse, assuring your friends that you were alright. You let them know you were going home with Steve and to not wait up for you. When you got back to his side, he leaned down, giving you a kiss on your forehead. His hand gripped your wrist, leading you back outside, leaving your friends behind.

<> <> <>

Steve’s house was enormous compared to your apartment. He had insisted you go home with him, promising you breakfast in bed. How could you say no to that?

You had been enthralled with the pool room – after you insisted he show you around the place. Steve had not been deterred when you suggested skinny dipping, ushering you along out of the room to continue the tour. When he brushed behind you in the process of doing this, you already could feel him through his slacks. No wonder he had been in such a hurry.

Steve moaned beneath you, his eyes hooded with lust as he watched you towering over him as you rode him. His hands gripped your ass, helping to guide you with more force. Panting loudly, your fingers dug into his chest. Steve lifted his head up to suck and bite at your breasts, adding to your sensation. Your lips crashed into his desperately as you felt the peak quickly incoming.

You cried out against his lips, convulsing around him.

“That’s it,” Steve rasped out in praise.

He increased his speed, pushing himself over the edge. You felt him empty himself as he gasped out broken praises for you and you alone.

Tucked into his embrace, your back to him, you relaxed.

As you slipped off to sleep, you felt Steve’s arm wrap around you, his hand caressing your abdomen.

~~~

Tags: @imsonick, @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre

#steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark steve rogers fic #marvel fic #dark marvel #steve rogers fic #my shit

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20dollarlolita · 3 years

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Changing shoes, part 1

Changing shoe color, part 1—Polish Part two is here.

Lolita shoes don't come in everyone's size, or to fit everyone's podiatry needs, so you have to DIY them sometime.

If you can find shoes that are roughly the right shape, you can color them and make some minor modifications to make them work better.

You can often make them look much better than my 3-minute photoshop job here. You can’t use polish to get as drastic a change as the one rendered here in my Quality Graphic Design, but we WILL get to how to do that in part 2 of this series.

There's three main ways to change the color of shoes: polish, paint, and shoe spray.

Polish has the most subtle results, but it's often the easiest way to find. You can find shoe polish in most shoe stores or box stores that sell shoes. It also has the least commitment, as it’s the easiest to remove.

Quick note: you will see, through this series of three posts I'm about to make, that I do not stuff the shoes with paper before I polish them. Many people do, because it preserves the shape of the shoe, but I like to put my hand in the shoe to move it around without touching the wet paint/polish. To each their own.

There's two kinds of polish that you'd usually use to change shoe color. One is liquid polish with a sponge on the top, which goes by names like “scuff cover” or “instant polish”. The other is traditional paste polish, which comes in a metal tin that usually just says “shoe polish” on it. Kiwi is the most common brand in the USA.

Liquid polish is faster to apply, but has less of a luster and can't be built up to get a more intense color change. Paste polish requires some elbow grease to make work, but it's better for the shoe (especially if it's leather) and is less likely to get blotchy. You can apply multiple coats to get a better finish.

Liquid polish is easy to apply and doesn't make a mess. You press down on the sponge to start the flow of product, and then rub it around to spread it over the shoe. You don't touch the shoe until it dries, and then it's clear and ready to go. If your liquid polish is close in color to your shoe, any blotches that it makes will blend in. Once it's totally dry, rubbing it with a clean, dry cloth can add just that extra bit of shine.

You wouldn't normally use liquid polish to change a pink shoe into a white one, but here's my best attempt at doing so. When I add another layer of polish, it activates the layer below it, which makes blotches and allows the pink to show through.

You can use liquid polish to change shoes from brown to black or another similar color. You could make black shoes burgundy or navy, but you have to stay at a similar level of lightness.

If the shoes are porous, like top-grain leather is, it's easier to apply liquid polish evenly, and you can do more coats before you hit the blotchy point.

If you can find a paste polish in the same color as your liquid polish, you can add the paste on top to even out the color and protect the finish.

You apply paste polish by flooding the shoe with the paste, waiting for it to dry, and then buffing away the extra. The force you apply when you buff the shoe makes the wax more evenly applied and shines the shoe as well. After you apply a coat, you can buff it and then apply another coat, to build up the color more.

You can get a set of brushes for applying paste polish. There’s a small one for applying it, and a large one for the buffing process. Since I don’t have those, I use a scrap of whatever quilt cotton I have on hand to apply it, and a sock that’s lost its mate for the buffing part.

Uneven color spots on paste polish are generally more spread out and harder to notice than on liquid polish. Paste polish also protects the shoe from water and dirt, which liquid polish generally does not.

This is what it looks like when you try to polish a white shoe to cordovan. Again, shoe polish isn't really the product that you would use to make a white shoe burgundy, but I wanted to show the limitation of the product's capabilities. This brand of polish comes in several colors (most of which are shades of brown) and you could easily tint a medium brown shoe into another color the polish comes in. You could make brown shoes a dark navy blue or burgundy, but you can't make a white shoe black.

In terms of making black shoes into other colors with polish, the shoes will never get notably lighter, but they will take on the undertone of the color of the polish. If you have black shoes and you need brown or navy, you can usually use paste polish to make shoes that are a very dark brown or a very dark navy. Often, that’s better than wearing black shoes with a navy JSK, so that’s worth considering.

You can see that I taped off the soles of one of those shoes. If your shoe soles are porous, you will want to mask them off so that the polish does not get into the soles. Foam RHS soles are the worst about this that I've found.

When you apply polish, either liquid or paste, do one step on both shoes, and then move to the next. Apply the polish to both shoes, let it dry on both shoes, buff both shoes. If you do all the steps on one, and then do the other, you're more likely to have the shoes come out uneven.

Polishing to another color is not permanent. All these polishes can be removed with a melamine sponge (magic eraser) followed up by acetone, so that you aren't doomed to ruining both your pairs of RHS for the sake of your blog. Just remember that you remove all the protective finished when you put acetone on your shoes, so you need to follow them up with a coat of coordinating polish (or neutral polish, in the case of pink shoes) to seal the vinyl back up and stop it from getting dirt stuck in the vinyl.

Also, there might be some mild staining or tinting that happens. I've found that I can easily get the shoes back to the point where no one will notice the color difference when I'm wearing them, but I can see a mild tint difference when I'm in good light and holding the shoes right against each other. The good news is that anyone who looks that carefully at my shoes is in the right position for a kick in the teeth if they decide to say anything rude about it.

I did manage to get the pink-tinted shoe up there back to white by doing another round of acetone and following up with some white liquid polish.

You also probably want to apply the proper color of shoe polish to your shoes regularly, to keep them looking nice. Shoes made of cheap matte vinyl (looking at you, Bodyline) look much better with a coat of polish on them, because it seals up the pores in the vinyl and stops them from holding onto dirt. It also gives them a luster more like real leather or dress shoes. Here we have liquid polish on one shoe and paste polish on the other (shown in top without flash, bottom with flash). They have slightly different results, and you may prefer one over the other. The shoe with the paste polish has more luster, but took several minutes of buffing to get it to that luster level. The liquid polish was much faster and didn’t require any hard labor from my hand.

In general, if you're using polish as intended and aren't trying to change a shoe color, liquid polish is better for when you need to even out a color or cover up scuffs or dirt, and paste polish is used to shine and protect a shoe (while also covering up small problems). You can use liquid polish, let it dry, and then use paste polish on top, if you want the best of both worlds.

The anon who asked for the shoe tutorial specifically about patent/shiny shoes, which you can't polish to a different color, but I thought I'd start this series of posts off with some info about polish, since it's the most accessible and lowest-commitment method.

On to Part 2

#long post #shoes #toutorial #shoe tut 1/3 #lolita fashion #lolita shoes #lolita diy #handmade lolita #20dollarlolita quality posts

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bby-d1p · 3 years

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No It doesn’t

buckle up ladies😩

“I don’t like it“ Jania huffed. “what’s wrong J“ I hugged her from behind, ‘This‘ she squished her stomach. “What?“ I didn’t see anything wrong, she had on a green two piece that complemented her dark skin.I faced her blocking her view of the mirror “I don’t know it’s just I don’t like the way my body is shaped, its either you always see my stretch marks or the bulge of my stomach.“ Jania said teary eyed looking up at me. “It doesn’t matter“ I sighed.”Yes it does”she argued “I love and want the way your mind thinks, I wanna know about every scar, every quote on quote imperfection, your body is how I want it.I’m tired of these plastic hoes I want a real barbie like you“ I held on to her waist, looking her in those beautiful grey eyes they twinkled at me with lust,anticipation and love.”Thanks babe I needed that I still think I’m too chubby“ she looked down. “Jania Israel, when are gonna understand baby fuck all of those skinny ass ‘women’ I love you. Out of all the females that could be here right now looking out this big ass window, my arms wrapped around them s we stare out into Australia, you think your to chubby because of a two piece? I love you naked, clothed, in any and every kind of way.”

She kissed me deeply before responding “LaMelo I don’t deserve you, you care to much and pay attention to so many details small or large.You love hard, show affection, make time for me, complement me when I need it most thank you bubba.“she smiled brightly,”we’re staying here tonight.“ I began to unbutton my shirt.”Why?“ She wiped slightly visible tears away.”Because I don’t wanna go out to eat anymore.“ I began to slid down my jeans and she too began to remove her clothing.”So what are we gonna eat?” Jania stared to look for the remote.”well I’m gonna eat you and then we can have dino nuggets if that’s okay?“ She paused getting on the bed.”That’s fine with me“ she shrugged smirking. I took a moment to admire her beauty, her chocolate skin complement the orange lace set I was damn near drooling until I saw white go over her body. A Blanket. “Mama we just talked about this“ I lied next to her tugging at the blanket.”I know you just make me nervous and comfortable at the same time“ her cheeks flushed a nearly invisible shade of pink.”I know one thing“ I smiled at her “and what’s that my love?“ She batted her natural lashes. “I’m hungry fo- me too“ she cut me off sitting up.”Uh uh no ma’am we are not doing that it’s my turn“ I pushed her hand off my length she once palmed. “Mch“ she sucked her teeth.

”Loose it“ I pushed her up against the headboard softly unhooking the orange lace contraption keeping me from what I wanted.“mch“ Jania sucked her teeth once again at my slow pace kissing down her neck.”Baby?“ I smirked,”yes?“ she barley managed to get out as I started to rub her clit. “You’re wet that’s all“ I remove her underwear and my lips from her neck. “I’ll be back shortly ma’am“ I flashed my bright smile at her aggravated face right where I want her.I left our room and walked toward the hall closet. I grabbed the melatonin we keep for the triplets Three kids are TOUGH. I poured wine into two glasses dropping the small pill in her cup. (Melatonin is natural and safe my baby sister takes it every night before bed. he’s not drugging her it’s just a kink somehow💀) I waited for it to fizzle down then walked back in the room. “You’re back“ J kissed my lips standing on her tippy toes making me giggle lightly.”I don’t like what I see“ She took a sip.”what do you mean“ I sat on the bed.”You have on clothes“ she yawned smirking.”Just boxers“I looked down at my lap.”baby I’m tired“ Jania yawned once again, exactly what I needed.After she went to sleep I threw on some sweats and walked out the door locking it behind me.

Jania Pov

I woke up to something cold around my wrists. I smelled my candle Lust from Victoria secret. I felt around in the bed with my feet but Melo wasn’t there.”Baby!” I called out.”You’re awake” LaMelo smiled at me walking in our room. I had my back arched,my face gently rested in a pillow and my hands cuffed together. I shivered as his warm fingers move in a figure eight motions on my clit.I moaned lightly as he began to move his fingers faster in and out of my core which was now dripping.”Fuck” I said as my legs shook.”baby don’t be so hard on yourself, you beautiful and I love it when you make beautiful juices for me” Lamelo said pushing my ass up further while suck on on my pussy. Which caused slurping sounds to erupt against the four grey walls of our bedroom.”Mmm” He hummed sending vibrations down my spine. I tried to lean forward but he just pulled me back down.”don’t run Israel” he grunted only turning me on more.I wished he would have let me finish but, he removed his tongue from my heat and walked toward the dresser,”Bite on this” his voice was coarse and he had a gag ball in his hand.After putting it on he began to speak,”count for me if you mess up we start over” I shook my head in agreement.”shit tight” he mumbled siding his shaft inside my dripping core making me wince a little at his size.”one” I moaned as he slapped my ass cheek leaving a light pink mark.

15 spanks and two nuts later..............

“Shit just like that“ I yelled as Lamelo began to rub my clit endlessly as he delivered each stroke rapidly throwing my legs over his shoulder.”Don’t ever doubt your beauty“ he whispered in my ear leaving trails of wet kisses down my neck.I dug my nails into his back s I started to cum, but felt emptiness; he pulled out. “Look bro you’ve done this too many times I wanna fuck so fuck me“ I grumbled looking at his back muscles. “Wait“ he replied sharply walking out the room. “I’m tried of this bro” I mumbled walking out of the room also. I grabbed his arm, turned him around and slid his shaft in my mouth.I swirled my tongue around his tip teasing him “mmm“ I hummed sending shivers down his spine.Drool started to pour from my mouth but it only turned him on more, to my surprise he grew even harder.I licked from the base all the way to the tip causing him to groan "fuck” loudly. His body jerked violently as ropes of thick cum shot on my face I licked my fingers from the access cum that dripped down.I motioned LaMelo down to my level after wiping the cu moff my face.”I love the taste of cum on your fingers but I prefer it in my pussy” I said lifting my leg up over his dick and running my baby pink nails down his neck”I-I think th- that’s a good idea” he stuttered. “Couch” I spoke “it’s my turn.” I walked over to him and slowly slid down on his rock hard shaft.

“Ooo“ I moaned as he pushed his dick all the way inside.”bounce“ His voice shudder yet still had roughness in it.”yes daddy“ I smiled deviously and began to bounce. “Do you like how tight my cunt his baby?“ I left kisses down his neck.”Mmm“ he groaned.”Words“ I whispered boldly as his large hands moved my waist in a steady motion.”yes I lo-love how t-tight your c-cu-cunt is“ he contained his moans as best as he could.”you’re so wet“ LaMelo started to suck on my left breast while massaging the other.”Fuck I’m close“ I gripped the back of the couch. LaMelo was slamming my hips down so hard I’m sure the neighbors could hear.”You’re so big“ I moaned massaging his balls which made him pause for a moment in pleasure.”Fuck!“ he grunted as loads of his thick cum shot into me while I came as well.”I want you to fuck my dripping cunt from the back and don’t give me mercy.“ I pouted seductively sliding off his member and arching my back on the other part of the charcoal black sectional.”I don;t know where this is coming from but I love it“ he said slamming into me.”Just like that baby yes.” I moaned

“Can you tell me how much you love this dick?” he griped my neck while roughly pounding into to me.”Mhm I love this big dick so much” I cried cumming ”good girl“ he came all over my back.”You are my pride and joy along with our three beautiful girls“ He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes starting to snore lightly.”I love you lamelo“ and with that I fell asleep as well.

Hope you enjoyed💞💞

#Melo #soft melo #😏

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1989bucky · 3 years

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𝗻𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆, 𝗻𝗼 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗲 | 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀

Word count: 2,759

Rated: M

Includes: Graphic smut, penetrative and oral sex, and mention of multiple partners.

This is for a writing contest for @eideticmemory ! I highly recommend checking out her page!

You didn’t expect your first time with Spencer Reid to happen this way. Work had been piling up and before you knew it, Spencer and you were the last two agents left at the office. Both of you knew that 11 o’clock was far too late for two agents to be left at work, especially since you both decided to work in the conference room instead of the bullpen.

Maybe it was the fact as people started to head home, the thought of leaving each other for the night was something you both couldn’t bear to do. So, Spencer found files that needed to be looked over for the third time, and you kept asking him questions about absolutely anything. That was the one thing you were going to miss most about him, that he could talk for ages about his historical analysis and his doctoral thesis. All 3 of them. You didn’t mind it though, because his heart-shaped lips always looked so pretty when he spoke, and his honey-brown colored eyes were dreamy.

“It’s getting pretty late, plus we have to be back here in 9 hours.” Spencer said calmly, looking behind his back through the slightly shut blinds. No one was left in the office, but Spencer still had this anxiety riding in his stomach, as if they were teenagers about to be caught. But you had a different plan. Why was it so hard to let him leave? You simply nodded at his statement in agreement, watching him slowly pack up his bag. His body language was hesitant as if he wasn’t sure that what he was doing, was what he actually wanted.

Why were you so nervous? No one had ever made you feel this way before, where your heart could explode any minute. “Spencer.” Was the only thing you could spit out, just desperate to have him near you. While sitting on the conference table, he moved his body closer to yours. He was waiting for you to say something, anything, but words couldn’t form at this moment, so you let your body do the talking.

Spencer stood in between your legs as your uncrossed them from one another. He had never been this close to another woman since Lila Archer in the pool. His breath hitched during this movement while his cheeks flushed. You wanted him to know that this was exactly what you wanted him to do. Placing your hands underneath his suit jacket, you rested them on his hips, looking up to him with a soft pout on your lips.

While being respectful, Dr.Reid, rested his hands on the table next to you, keeping his eyes glued to yours. You had him right where you wanted him. You could see in his eyes that his dominance was evolving and bringing him more confidence. While wrapping your legs around his waist, you slowly inched a hand up to his chest, playing with the buttons on it. “Why don’t we.. stay here for a little longer? Together?” You finally spoke.

You could see his adam’s apple bob from swallowing, the touch of a woman driving him insane. He wanted to give into you, let you have your way with him completely. But he couldn’t do it here. Spencer wanted to be able to be completely comfortable and not have to worry about a midnight cleaner coming around. He wanted you to moan so loud that it bounced off the walls.

That’s how you ended up in Spencer Reid’s apartment at midnight. His body was on top of yours as you shared a wet, heated kiss. You wanted all of your clothes off, you needed to feel his warmth on your skin. Pulling apart from the kiss, you took a minute to catch your breath. Spencer’s lips were so pink, and his eyes had filled with lust. He broke out into a smile once he saw your face again. “Are you okay with all of this?” He wanted to keep hearing your consent, it was important to him. You sat up and unbuttoned your dress top, tossing it to the ground while keeping eye contact. “Does this answer your question, Doctor?”

Spencer’s eyes followed your hands and were glued to your breasts that were spilling over your bra. He grabbed your legs in a rushed manner and brought you closer to him in a second. With your legs on either side of him, he ran both of his hands up your thighs and dangerously close to your panties. “I need to hear you say it.” He mumbled, using his dominant hand to run two fingers over your clothed clit. This action caused your breath to hitch, biting down on your lip to conceal any whimpers. “Tell me.”

Spencer continued to use his two fingers to massage circles on your clit as he waited for your response. Somehow you forgot to speak because the pleasure was so fucking good. “Y-Yes, fuck, yes.” You spat out and opened your legs wider. With a smirk, Spencer had pulled away, the loss of contact causing you to whimper. He positioned himself down the bed and in between your legs, placing his two hands on your thighs to hold them open. Spencer pressed two kisses onto your clit before slipping your panties off your body. “God, you’re so wet already, Y/N.” He said, blowing onto your clit gently. The sensation sent goosebumps down your spine as you laid your head back.

He didn’t waste any time with you. Spencer started to lick your dripping pussy and used his teeth to graze against your clit. Your back arched off the bed and your hands immediately found his hair as you held onto fistfuls of it. Spencer kept a rhythm when you would moan out, or pull onto his hair harder. “Fuck, Spencer.” You whimpered, attempting to close your thighs from the pleasure, but he opened it before you could. His tongue massaged your clit while he took his hand down and inserted his two longest fingers inside of you. “You taste so fucking good.” He muttered, pumping his digits and curling them inside. You covered his fingers in your wetness as Spencer continued to suck on your clit so much, he had you squealing.

You thought you were going to see stars from how could he was eating you out. Spencer was a multi-tasker, so with his free hand, he pushed your body to the side so you could read his idea. You had turned over so you were on your stomach now and you could feel your heartbeat in your clitoris. Spencer did the same thing and went underneath you now, so you were sitting on his face. “Come here, pretty girl.” He said and held onto the back of your thighs while he began to eat you out again. This pleasure was something you had never experienced. You grinded down on his tongue from this new position and felt your wetness drip onto his face. Spencer brought one hand up to your ass and slapped it roughly. The sting made you moan louder, and press your pussy more into his mouth. You felt like you could sit on Spencer Reid’s face for the rest of the night.

As you came very close to your orgasm, Spencer sucked on your clit and his tongue did not lose contact. He wanted you to cum in his mouth and drip onto his pretty lips. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” You repeated as your orgasm bubbled up. When the wave of pleasure ran over you, you moaned loudly, cursing, saying his name, anything that came into your head at the moment. Spencer didn’t stop his actions, wanting you to ride it through the whole time. When you had finished and attempted to catch your breath, Spencer turned over to look at you. Your cheeks were flushed and your lips were pink. Laying now on your back, Spencer hovered over you and looked down at you, pushing some hair from your face. “Want to see how good you taste?” His voice deep as he propped himself up with his arm behind you. You simply nodded and placed your hand behind his neck, eager to feel his lips again. You two kissed for a moment before he separated your lips.

Your eyes trailed down to his groin, where you could see his bulge peaking through his pants. “I want to feel you cum inside of me, Doctor.” It always drove him crazy when you called him that, and in the impregnation kink inside of him was running wild.

Spencer took off his clothes, including his boxers, and now the two of you were naked. He took a hold of his length and used his tip to rub it against your clit. “Fuck.” He groaned, feeling your wetness onto him. Your body was ready for round two, and Spencer was eager to be inside of you. Once he slipped himself inside of you, he felt like he was in a trance. You had never been with a man whose size felt like it could stretch you out. “You’re so tight.” Spencer muttered as he picked up your leg to hold it onto his thigh. You let out a moan and held onto his bicep as he began to find a rhythm that felt good for him and could hit you in the right spots. “Feels like you’re in my stomach.” You giggled then whimpered right afterward. Spencer moaned from your words only and leaned down to start kissing your chest and biting the skin around it. Your other hand held his hair as he did so, wrapping your other leg around his waist to feel him deeper.

Spencer started to pick up his pace and the sound of your sex and the headboard echoed in the room. “Harder.” You moaned out, your back arching off the bed. Spencer delivered just that to you, picking up his pace and the rhythm that he had. “So so good.” He mumbled against your lips as he attached them to yours again to share a sloppy kiss. He was getting closer in just minutes of you two sharing sex, it was like your bodies were speaking to each other.

“I’m close.” He muttered, getting ready to pull his cock out of you so he could finish somewhere else. “No.” You whimpered, looking up at him, and squeezed his bicep. “It’s okay, I’m on birth control.” You panted, your body immediately missing the connection of his. “It’s only 91% effective most of the time.”

“Spencer, I’ve never missed a day.” You said and combed his hair back with your fingers. He nodded and leaned back down, inserting himself back inside of you. Spencer never had unprotected sex before, but it felt so damn good. His cock was all the way inside of you, and both of your orgasms were due any minute. You thought it was only a thing that happened in pornography when the man and woman both had cum at the same time, but it was about to happen with you and Spencer.

“Spencer.” You immediately moaned out as your body started to feel euphoric with your second orgasm. You both kept your eye contact and in the heat of the moment, he slid his hand up to your neck. Fuck fuck fuck. Spencer Reid was going to be the first man to make you feel this way about a partner. “Y/N, baby.” He moaned as his orgasm approached and felt himself cum inside of you. He tried his best to keep the rhythm steady through it, but it was a little sloppy, but still oh so good. He stayed inside of you for a moment while you both caught your breath. You were going to miss this. Miss seeing his face, hearing his voice, kissing his sweet lips. Everything about Spencer Reid would haunt you for the rest of your life.

That’s why it was so hard to sit in front of him right now. Your wrists hurt from the handcuffs that you had been residing in and the chair was uncomfortable. Spencer sat across from you, his eyes different than normal. He had a file in front of himself, looking down at your mugshot and ID photo. You had gotten sloppy, and it took one night with Spencer Reid for that to happen.

It was easy with Aaron Hotchner. Of course, the new BAU’s communication liaison staying with the head of the team was nothing suspicious. You remembered, showing him a little leg, a little chest, and everything fell into place. You were riding his cock before you knew it, and tugging onto his tie. He liked being called ‘daddy’, which you didn’t mind at all. You slept with him twice, the first time in his office, the second time he came over for drinks at your place. He enjoyed watching you masturbate with your toy and doing so in his lap. It was kinda hot, sleeping with an older man. It’s what made your act so good.

Then there was Emily Prentiss. The first woman you slept with. It was on a case, and you two needed to double up in the hotel. You came out of the bathroom with a t-shirt and visible lace panties. You sat with her on the bed and talked until the conversation turned into a sexual topic. Emily Prentiss made you cum 3 times. The next morning, you showered together and kissed until both of you just had to cum one more time. She knew exactly where to pleasure you, and it was so good you considered getting a tattoo of her name.

You had a plan, it was a great plan. Till too many times with Spencer Reid, and your guard came down. You trusted him too much. It all started to become too heavy on you, and the feelings became real. You wish you would’ve thought a different plan, a way you could’ve kept your secret and continued to be with Spencer.

How was the media going to respond with the BAU’s new communication liaison was the unsub of a case that went cold last year? Your goal was to get the trust of the team, manipulate them with your body so they would never suspect anything, and you could keep doing what you had been.

It was extremely difficult for Spencer to look at you right now, he wanted to cry or scream at you, but he had to keep his composure. “You’re looking at 25 years to life here for your crimes. Possibly the chance of life without parole.” He said, crossing his hands together and leaning on the table. “Now, I suggest you corporate with everything we say and we will see if there is a chance you’ll ever get out of here, do I make myself clear?”

“Spencer-“

“Do I make myself clear, Miss. Y/L/N?” Spencer repeated himself again, not wanting you to bring his guard down. It pained him to see you on the opposite side of the table and not next to him, but he couldn’t tell you that.

“I bought you that.”

“What?”

“Your necklace. You’re still wearing it. You still want to hold onto a piece of me that you can’t have so you wear something that makes you feel like you have control over me still.” You said and quickly glanced at the chain on his neck. You knew it was the gold switchblade that he wore.

Spencer knew your profiling skills against him were true. It brought a part of his emotions back, even though his team advice him not to let it happen. “Why did you do this, Y/N?” His voice was quiet, sadden, confused. “Why did you kill all of those people.”

“I-I don’t know, they were horrible men, Spencer. I did what I had to. I’ll write to you, I promise.”

You saw Hotchner walk into the room, wanting to switch with Spencer since his emotions were starting to struggle. You smirked at the man in charge then returned your gaze back at Spencer when he got up from his seat. He had to turn his back to you as he began walking to leave the interrogation room.

“Dr. Reid?” You called to him one last time, his body turning to you while his hand was on the doorknob. With a smile on your face, you pressed a kiss to your fingertips and sent him a little wave goodbye.

“You were always my favorite.”

#emvdaycontest #matthewgraygubler #Matthew Gray Gubler #spencer reid #spencerreid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #mgg smut #criminal minds #emily prentiss #hotch

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syndianites · 3 years

Text

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter Three

First Chapter --> Last Chapter --> Current --> Next Chapter Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Getting akumatized was a special sort of uncomfortable. But it was exhilarating in all the same ways. Everything that one felt became louder, bigger, something beyond what it used to be. It grew into power. The power to act and take what was yours.

For Chloe, it just made her more upset. The anger had almost fizzled out, but the akuma brought it back with a vengeance. But unlike the last time she had been akumatized, her sorrow manifested much stronger than her rage.

Her skin darkened to a deep blue, almost purple, like the edge of the night sky after the sun had set. Where her hair had been in a high ponytail, it was undone and draped down and around her face. It looked stuck together and damp as though she had just been rained on. Chloe’s makeup looked washed out and runny both from her own tears and the transformation.

Most notably, her clothes became a simple long t-shirt and sweatpants that looked worn down and overused. The pants were a bright, light blue, while the shirt was a dark, deep crimson. To top it off, her sunglasses molded into a hat not unlike what her mother wore, but with goggles inlaid into them.

Without a word, Chloe put her hands before her and a large pair of scissors, easily the size of her chest, formed in her hand. Transformation complete, she turned on a dime and walked out the locker room.

A moment of silence followed before Pollen poked her head out the locker she had hidden away in. “Well, this isn’t good.”

//////

Marinette had never been so uncomfortable in her life. That included that time when she was seven and her twice removed cousins from her dad’s side came over and asked her why she didn’t wear dresses if she liked making them so much. And that one time she stepped foot first into a mud puddle, lost her shoe, and had to walk home with a sock soaked in mud.

It was bad.

Audrey, once Chloe had stormed out, continued on her tirade. “Ugh, how dramatic. Little Charlie needs to learn her place. She simply can’t compare to talent like yours, dear.”

Starting at being addressed, Marinette gave her a pinched smile.

“Now,” Audrey continued. “You simply must come to New York with me. The opportunities are endless, and skill such as yours would flourish under my attention!”

Her heart skipped a beat. New York was a big deal for fashion. Next to Paris, it was the place to be, and opening up her contacts to overseas big names would be a huge step for her career.

But could she work with someone this awful?

Sure, Marinette didn’t like Chloe, but even she thought that how her own mother treated her was cruel. It made her feel bad for the girl. It explained a lot about her, and for a moment Marinette considered being nicer to Chloe.

Not that that would make Chloe suddenly decide to be a good person. It would take the inevitable explosion of the sun for that to happen.

“I-i, um, I need to think about it, Mrs. Bourgeois.” Marinette glanced over at her parents. “I have a lot to consider about leaving or staying, and my parents still need my help at the bakery.”

Her parents, and oh how she loved them, spoke up immediately, “Oh, we can manage the bakery dear! Don’t worry about little old us, what’s important is your future.”

Please, take the hint guys.

Before Marinette can struggle to find more excuses to deny her request, Adrien pipes up, “Mrs. Bourgeois,” he flashes her an award winning smile, “Don’t you think that the way Chloe was handled was a bit… out of hand?” Gabriel laid a hand on Adrien’s shoulder, squeezing it gently before sharing a look with Natalie and wandering off.

Audrey rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses. “Oh, darling, for such a sweet thing you can be so daft. Girls like that need a quick strike down before they let their misguidedness get to their head.”

Adrien, for his part, kept smiling. For those who knew him well enough, they could see the twitch in his eye as he struggled not to snap at the woman. “Ah, my apologies. In my experience, the best growth comes from a guiding hand that focuses on building a person up rather than tearing them down. But I suppose, for a critic, that is not the case at all. Though, the modelling experience is often different from the experience of those who make judgement calls on others’ hard work.”

Bringing a hand to her chest, Audrey sniffs derisively. “Sure, dear. Of course, most models are meant to make anything they wear look pretty, so it can be hard to see where their accessories are lacking when all they see is themselves.”

Marinette wanted to desperately be anywhere but where she was standing. She almost wished that someone had bust in with the Bee miraculous and caused a scene just so she could excuse herself.

She’d rather deal with her own mistakes a million fold over than this.

Mayor Andre, for his part, smiled a shaky press smile as he tried to talk his wife down.

Adrien, fed up with Audrey, grabbed Marinette ’s hand and pulled her away quickly. Natalie spared him a glance before going to converse with his bodyguard.

“Can you believe her!” Adrien simmered. “How cruel can you be to your own child!”

Marinette laughed awkwardly. “I mean, at least we know where Chloe gets it from?”

Adrien rounded on her. “Chloe is not as bad as her!”

Taking a step back, she watched Adrien wide-eyed. He sighed, taking a breath to calm himself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. That display was just awful.”

He ran a hand through his hair, mussing up carefully styled locks.

Hesitating, Marinette asked, “Is she… always like that?”

Adrien gave a tense nod. “Since we were young. Chloe always wanted her mother’s support, but well,” he waved his hand back in her direction, “You try reasoning with that.”

Before either could pick the conversation back up the front doors to the building burst open. Carrying comically large scissors and dressed as what could only be called a fashion disaster was an akuma that looked one bad day away from a mental breakdown.

Or, well, in the middle of a breakdown.

“Audrey Bourgeois! You claim to recognize talent when you see it, but failed to see how your own daughter can be exceptional. Well, I am the Queen Killer and if I cannot be exceptional then no one can! I’ll cut your reign to shreds.” The akuma accented her speech with a threatening snip of her scissors before launching forward at the Style Queen.

Before anyone could react, Queen Killer had Audrey between her blades and closed. A thing, white line appeared where the blades connected and, as Queen drew her weapon away, there was a horrifying moment where Marinette was sure Audrey was split into two pieces.

Instead, a dark shadow started spilling out of Audrey, enveloping her body as she screamed. When the shadow dissipates, a twisted, snarling version of Audrey that looked like she was fused together with five other versions of herself appeared. It lashed out at those around her, screeching and clawing at them.

Queen Killer laughed. “Now everyone will see how hideous and cruel you are!”

Marinette jolted out her shock as Adrien roughly pulled her away. This, unfortunately, brought Queen’s attention to them as the rest of the room also began to run.

“Dupain-Cheng!” If she had any doubt that that was Chloe, she had none now. ”You stole my mother’s love from me!”

As Queen launched forward with her scissors open, Marinette screamed, “That was not my intention! I didn’t know she would ask me to go to New York with her all over a hat!”

Alas, her pleas were not enough. Stuck in her civilian form, Marinette could not outrun the enraged Queen. Twin blades circled around her waist and cut, forcing Marinette to stumble and fall.

Adrien, worried for his friend, stopped and tried to go back for her. But, between a snarling Queen and Marinette urging him to keep running as a dark shadow overtook her, he kept running. The best thing for Marinette would be Chat Noir and Ladybug. He would have time to check on her later.

Marinette , meanwhile, felt the shadows come off her and… she looked the same. For a moment, she was confused. What was the akuma’s power supposed to be?

But then it bubbled up. Nothing physical. No, that would be too easy. As she looked up towards Queen and thought ‘I need to transform into Ladybug’ a wave of crushing doubt and insecurity gripped her throat.

She would just mess up again. Like she had when she started out, when she lost the Bee miraculous, and every time she let someone get harmed by an akuma. There was no way she could do this. Chat Noir would be better off without her.

As the building cleared and Queen ran out to terrorize the fleeing patrons, Marinette stayed on the ground, shaking. What could she do? Make things worse? Disappoint all of Paris? Put Fu and Chat Noir in danger?

Distantly, she heard someone talking to her, urging her to get up and move. The voice disappeared as he heard footsteps and she was lifted into someone’s arms. A hop, skip, and a jump later had her safely placed down on a chair in a private room, looking into the eyes of Chat Noir. His eyebrows were brought together in concern.

“Stay here, okay? I promise Ladybug and I will fix things for you.” He offered a reassuring smile before dashing out of the room.

When she couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, Tikki flew out of her pocket. “ Marinette !” The little ladybug placed her paws on her face, getting her to look at Tikki. “Are you okay? What happened after she cut you?”

Shaking her head, Marinette focused on her breathing. ‘C’mon Mari,’ she thought to herself, ‘You can’t let Chat do this alone.’

“I, uh,” she looked back at Tikki, “It’s so bad Tikki. I’m going to mess up and make things worse. Like yesterday with the Bee miraculous! I lost it! Instead of getting help, I lost a potential ally and a powerful magical artifact. If I can’t even keep track of things placed under my care, how can I protect Paris?”

Tikki was at a loss for words. This reminded her so much of the Marinette she first met- unconfident, afraid, and so uncertain in her actions. It was like the cut brought out all the most hurtful parts of herself…

“ Marinette ,” Tikki began, “We all make mistakes. What’s important is working to fix them. Sure, if you do nothing you can’t mess up or disappoint people, but you also can’t grow and succeed. Paris needs its Ladybug, regardless of what the people think of you. I know you can do this. Chat will be there to help you too, I’m sure of it.”

Doubt in her eyes, Marinette nodded. While her doubts and insecurity swirled in her mind, the urge to help others reigned supreme. She had to at least stop the akuma and set things back to normal.

“Alright Tikki,” Marinette swallowed thickly. “Spots On!”

///////////

Chat was not having a good time.

His first thought upon finding Queen snipping people in half with her scissors was that he could easily beat her in combat. What could she do with a pair of large scissors when he had a versatile staff?

A lot, apparently.

As he dodged backwards from another attempt to cut him in half from Queen, he tossed a jab her way. “So is clashing colors the new look, or did I miss the memo?”

Queen huffed at him, “Says the boy in full leather! I would know a fashion disaster when I see one!”

She ran at him again, holding the scissors completely open so she could swipe at him with a blade. Chat blocked it with his staff, before pushing her away as she tried to close the blades on him.

“Excuse you, Queenie!” He retorted. “I’ll have you know that my outfit is purr-fect.”

Clearly, she disagreed, if the groan and slash at him was anything to go by.

What a party pooper.

But what was worse was that he couldn’t get close enough to her to properly disarm her. Nor could he figure out where the akuma was while trying his best to not get cut in half. Chat needed to regroup with Ladybug, but she was nowhere in sight.

Biting his lip, Chat jumped back and up onto a rooftop. Giving Queen Killer a salute, he started away from her.

“Get back here you mangy cat!” Queen simmered on the ground below where he ran off. “You better bring back Ladybug so I can take you both off your high horse!”

///////////

Pollen was not the best at sneaking around. Not for lack of trying, of course, but people were ingrained to see a blur of yellow and the sound of buzzing and think ‘Bee!’ It didn’t help that she was larger than the average bee.

What did help, however, was people being too busy staring at an akuma running full tilt down the street to pay attention to the yellow being that was trying to stay unnoticed behind them. So Pollen got a front row seat to Queen’s akuma speech and display of her powers. When Chat Noir showed up she waited for her chance to talk to him or Ladybug whenever she came around.

And, well, there went Chat running for his life.

Pollen sighed. At least flying along rooftops was less obvious than following an akuma.

After shooting past building after building, she manages to get closer to the black blur that was Chat Noir. He was vaulting along, keeping an eye out as he worked on not plummeting to the ground. When he finally stopped to catch his breath, Pollen nearly sped past him.

As Chat retracts his staff and starts to dial Ladybug, Pollen drops down in front of him. “Oh!” He stumbles back, “Hello? Who are you?”

Pollen smooths out her fluff and offers a paw. “I am Pollen, Kwami and Order and Subjugation, and the one who dwells inside the Bee Miraculous. You must be Chat Noir. A pleasure.”

Chat, mystified, offers a finger. “Nice to meet you. I thought you would be with Master Fu and your miraculous?”

“Ah, well,” Pollen tilted her head. “Did Ladybug not tell you?”

He pinched his lips. “No?”

“Ladybug lost my miraculous in the fight with Style Queen. You weren’t there, though, were you?” Pollen considered him for a moment. “I don’t blame you for that, nor do I blame Ladybug for losing my miraculous. But that isn’t important right now.”

Accepting the hand Chat placed out for her, she settles into his palm. “I need to talk to you and Ladybug, but the akuma is our first priority. What do you know about them?”

“Well,” Chat began, “I believe it is Chloe Bourgeois. But as for the akuma,” He scratched the back of his head with his free hand, “I’m not too sure. My current two guesses are her scissors or her hat, since she normally doesn’t have either on her.”

Pollen nodded thoughtfully, despite having seen the akuma land in Chloe’s sunglasses. There was no way she could tell Chat Noir without him having at least some suspicions as to who she was with at the moment. At the very least, he could narrow it down to who had been around Chloe when she transformed.

Chat pushed on. “Even if we managed to subdue Queen Killer and get the akuma out, we wouldn’t be able to do anything until Ladybug gets here to purify it. The best we can do is wait and try to stop as much damage as possible.”

“Actually,” Pollen butt in, with a slow smile spreading across her face, “I may have a solution to that.” Chat tipped his head to the side. “I can immobilize people with my power. As long as I can hold onto the power they will remain frozen, or until I touch them to let them free.”

He perked up, stars in his eyes. “Like how Plagg can use Cataclysm when he’s himself! That’s perfect, Pollen.”

She nodded eagerly, before stopping. “Wait, did you not know kwamis can use their own power?”

Chat looked confused, but nodded slowly. “I didnt figure that out until he used it to free from an akuma a while ago.”

Pollen buzzed, frustrated, before saying, “The Guardian should have told you that! It’s important for a holder to know about their miraculous and kwami, especially a trouble maker like Plagg.”

“Well,” Chat scuffed his foot on the roof, “I don’t speak to the Guardian that much. Last time we talked was when he came to my house and talked about the Miracle Box and such.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Pollen moved out of Chat’s hand and floated in an irritated circle. “You should be just as informed as Ladybug. It’s not fair to you or her to pile information on one of you and expect the other to just go along with it!”

Chat shrugged. “That’s how it’s been for most of it. Besides, I trust Ladybug with my life.”

“But, when keeping so many secrets, can she trust hers with you?” Pollen replied with a meaningful look in her eyes.

She received no response. Instead of dwelling on the matter, she urged Chat to get back to Queen Killer. They still had a job to do, after all.

/////////

Ladybug arrived on the scene to find Chat nowhere in site and Queen Killer happily snipping at random citizens. Great. Before she can engage with the akuma, she hesitates. Could she really do this without Chat? What if she lost her miraculous because she let her civilian self get hit with the akuma’s power?

Shaking her head, she prepared to head in when a flash of black caught her eye. The familiar form of Chat pole vaulting across the rooftops to her left filled her with a sense of relief. She really, seriously needed to keep it together.

Taking a second, she throws her yo-yo to wrap around a chimney in Chat’s path. Her heart races as she tests the line and jumps. Shit, shit, shit, she’s gonna hit the wall, then Queen will notice her, then-

She made it on the roof with two scraped knees. Not flawless, but still unseen. Chat landed beside her, more than happy to see his Lady. A frown creased his brow as he took in her demeanor.

“Are you alright?” He checks her over for wounds, but comes back with nothing beyond a few scratches. “Did something happen?”

Ladybug goes to dismiss the idea before Tikki’s words ring in her head again ‘Chat will be there to help you too.’ Shaking her head, she gave Chat a grimace. “Queen managed to cut me while I was in my civilian form. Even after I transformed the effects are bothering me. It’s… brought back a lot of my insecurity and confidence issues. But we can do this, I know we can.”

Chat nodded, resting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry, I have a plan. And some back up.”

“Backup?”

A yellow figure lands on Chat’s shoulder. “Hello, Ladybug. It’s nice to see you again.”

Blinking in shock, Ladybug exclaims, “You’re the kwami from the Bee miraculous! Oh god, another thing I messed up, I’m so, so sorry.”

Pollen holds up a paw, stopping her. “It’s not your fault. You were in a tight situation and did the best you could. Besides, I’m with someone who may be a good ally in the future. They just need time.”

Chat and Pollen brought Ladybug up to speed on their ideas, to which she poked and prodded at. They exchanged glances before nodding and Chat and Pollen split. Still standing on the roof, Ladybug calls her Lucky Charm. It dropped from the sky as a red and black spotted crowbar.

Keeping the crowbar in hand, Ladybug drew Queen’s attention with a hit to her scissors. “Hey!” Ladybug called out, “Don’t you know scissors are dangerous?”

Queen Killer growled back, “Of course you would start preaching at me, little miss perfect. I bet everyone in the whole city loves you. Well I’m here to cut your heroic tales short!” She launched forward, bouncing off a car and digging her scissors into the side of the building to propel her up to the rooftop to get on Ladybug’s level.

Ladybug, in a quick move, flipped over her and flung her yo-yo around the scissors to send Queen flying back to the ground. Before she could hit a lamppost, Queen dug the blades into the street to slow herself down, only to run back to Ladybug.

‘Good,’ Ladybug thought to herself, ‘Keep coming.’

In the moments before Queen got back in range, Ladybug took a moment to eye the area around her for clues on how to use the Lucky Charm. Nothing stood out, so she sprung from the rooftop to land before Queen and send her yo-yo swinging at her feet.

Queen, quick to the punch, lowered her scissors to cut the yo-yo string. Ah, what a lovely and easy mistake to make when fighting a person who used scissors with a string based weapon. Panicking, Ladybug brought up the crowbar to stop the scissors from striking her.

Pulling back, Queen raced in again with the blades open, looking to trap Ladybug the same way she had Chat in their fight before. Ladybug readied her crowbar, bringing it up to block again. Queen smirked, shutting the blades in a smooth motion. By luck or skill, Ladybug managed to sidestep the action, getting the crowbar’s hook caught in between the blades. Seeing her chance, Ladybug used the hook to pull the scissors from Queen’s hands.

Spitting a curse, Queen abandoned her scissors to tackle Ladybug.

Chat, meanwhile, called forth his Cataclysm and rushed the scissors, destroying them with a touch. When no akuma appeared, he looked back confused. Queen kept fighting Ladybug, managing to get the upper hand as Ladybug hesitated in kicking her off. As Queen pinned Ladybug’s hand with one of her own and reached for her miraculous Chat sprung towards her.

He wouldn’t make it in time.

But Queen stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide beneath the wide-brimmed hat. Pollen popped up from behind her, giving Ladybug a little giggle. “Sorry, I meant to do that a little earlier.”

This time with no reservations, Ladybug pushed Queen off of her. Chat bounded over to her to help her up, to which she shook her head and pointed at Queen. “Find the akuma.”

Receiving a nod, she picked herself up to retrieve the cut off part of her yo-yo. Chat, in this time, took Queen’s hat and ripped it. For good measure, he broke the goggles on them as well. Lo and behold, the akuma haphazardly fluttered out. Before it could escape, Ladybug snapped it up in her yo-yo.

“Bye, bye little butterfly,” Ladybug murmured, letting it fly off into the sky. With a nod to her partner, she threw her crowbar into the air and let forth the rush of ladybugs to fix the damage done.

Pollen, seeing Chloe safely de-akumatized, gave Chat a little nod before rushing off. He made a move to go after her when a bawl reached his ears. Chloe, freshly purified, was trying her best to keep it together. But as Chat knelt to help her to her feet, she jumped him for a hug.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry that I was too pathetic to not get akumatized again. My mother was right about me, I’m so, so sorry.”

Chat rubbed her back slowly. “What your mother said was cruel and unfounded. You’re not pathetic at all, Chloe.”

“And it’s definitely not your fault. Even the strongest, most exceptional people can get akumatized,” Ladybug added, “Besides, even heroes have bad days.” Not that she considered Chloe even close to a hero.

Andre chose this moment to come bustling through the doors of the building behind them. “Princess, my darling!”

Seeing that she was in good hands, Chat and Ladybug pound their fists together and part ways.

Ladybug, however, is stopped by Pollen two blocks over. “There you are! Thank goodness. Can you show me where your miraculous is so I can return it to Master Fu?”

“No,” Pollen told her quietly, “But I want to ask you to trust me. I’ve found someone who needs my help. Maybe one day she could be a great hero, maybe not. But this person has gone through a lot of heartbreak and I don’t want to be another person that leaves her behind. I want you to tell Fu that I have decided to stay with them.”

“Wait, but what about secrecy? How will we know they won't spread the word about the miraculous or accidentally lead Hawkmoth to you?” Ladybug fretted, cupping her hands for Pollen to land in.

“I haven’t told her the transformation words, yet.” Pollen stroked her hand reassuringly. “That way if things go south I can still manage to keep my power from being abused. Please, Ladybug, trust me.”

Biting her lip, Ladybug hesitantly nodded. “Please stay safe, Pollen. If you ever need my help don’t hesitate to ask.”

Giving her a bright smile, Pollen floated up to nuzzle Ladybug’s forehead. After giving parting words, they went off in different directions.

Hopefully, Pollen hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #chloe bourgeois #chloe bourgeois redemption #ladybug #marianette dupaign-cheng #chat noir #adrien agreste #pollen #pollen (ladybug)#pollen the kwami #bee kwami #tikki #plagg #marinette dupain cheng

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parkmuse · 4 years

Text

Not So Honest (M)

Word Count: 9322 (Reposted) (Wonhopes Masterlist)

Jungkook has got a pretty BIG problem, and he desperately asks you for your help.

cr.

Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Dingdongdingdongdingdon-

You let out a heavy sigh, pausing your show as you get up from the couch to answer the door. That annoying repetitive doorbell rings could only come from one person.

“YAH! Where’s your fucking keys you brat-“ You stop mid-sentence from yelling at him because your eyes catch onto the large package he’s struggling to hold along with a mountain of grocery bags in his hands.

“Yeah, I forgot them this morning and remembered once I was at the store. By the way, this was at the doorstep-“ You immediately snatch it out of his grasp, twirling around as you let go of the door and let it slam back in his face. You run to the table, squealing as you set it down to try and go look for something to open it with. “My package arrived!”

You hear the front door rattle a few times before its shoved open again, him struggling to get all the bags in as he forces the door closed with a bang. “What the fuck Y/N? And I don’t even get a thank you for picking that up for you?”

“I didn’t ask for your help, Jungkook,” You replied, waving him off before you walked back over to your package.

You’ve been waiting a whole two weeks for another one of these Amazon packages. You did a little contract with some sellers there that you would test out their products for free and give your honest review in return that you get free samples of the items. So far you’ve gotten blenders, make up, wireless head phones, even a decent cellphone all for free. And all you had to do was type up a quick, honest review with the pros and cons of the product that took less than 5 minutes, then you could enjoy all your free shit. Did I say free already?

“What’s in the package? Another crappy phone?” Jungkook yells from the kitchen, placing all the food in their designated locations. You let out another heavy sigh before responding to him. “Why do you care? Go hangout with Jimin and suck each other’s dicks or something.”

“You’re just jealous cause I could probably get more dick or actually scratch that, any dick at all compared to you if I really wanted to.” You shot him a glare and he smirks, then sticks his tongue out before placing the milk in the fridge.

God, you hated that brat. You’ve hated him for so many years, basically all of your life since you’ve known each other since elementary. Your parents were great friends so you always had to hang out with him when you would go to each other’s houses, dealing with him pulling your hair and stealing all your food and toys from you almost three times a week. Once you hit high school you were even forced to baby sit him even though you were only two years older, but his parents baby him so much and think he’s not fit to stay alone in his own damn home that they’d throw him over at yours.

Even now, as two damn grown adults you are still stuck with him, forced to share an apartment since you two go to the same college because his parents don’t trust him alone or with strangers. It was a living nightmare since you basically had no privacy with this brat, always meddling in your stuff and your life and him walking out of his room practically naked every damn day. Sure, he’s grown up really well, and he’s always been cute I guess, but holy hell he gets on your nerves so much he’s lost the on chance that you would ever find him attractive. The only upside to this is that you get help paying rent, but honestly you think you’d rather live on the streets than be with this annoying kid.

At least your annoyance will be at its minimal today, too excited to let him cloud your day when you got more cool free shit-

“What the fuck?” You spit, eyes bugged and jaw dropped once you comprehend exactly what Amazon just sent to you.

“What? Another flip phone or some shit- woah,” Jungkook’s eyes widened as well once he peeks over your shoulder to see what the big deal was.

Sex toys.

Not one, not two.

A whole box full.

There were different kinds of toys like vibrators and silicone dicks in all the colors you could possibly imagine. You didn’t even know what half the shit in that box was either; there were weird looking eggs to obscure shaped things you assumed were supposed to replicate a dick but had an extended side that you couldn’t figure out what it was actually intended to do. You pulled out a box and on the cover read Sassy Anal Beads in fancy cursive lettering, finally making you lose your patience.

“Why the fuck would they send me this shit!?” You huffed, tossing the stuff back in the box. You had no use for any of this. Sure, they could keep you company since you were single as hell but you really wished they would have sent you something way more useful.

“Maybe they knew you needed it— OW!” Jungkook yelps as you punch him in the chest. He pouts as he clutches onto his pecs but you just roll your eyes.

“Shut up, you deserved it.” You walk back to the couch and plop on it with a sigh, resuming your TV show.

“Aren’t you supposed to review all this shit?” He says, digging through some more of the box as he pulls an unrealistic sized purple dildo.

“I’m not going to bother. I’ll just say they were all shitty or something,” You say as you bring your feet up to the coffee table.

“Well that’s not really fair. You have to give your honest opinion. What if King Cock Deluxe deserves five stars?” He snickers, waving it over in front of your face.

You scrunch your face in disgust, “Stop being gross.”

He laughs and tosses it back in the box, then pulls out another item. “What the hell is this thing?”

You see him examining it in his hands, his face scrunching up in confusion. It was small and black, a ring attached to the end and the top having two protruding bumps.

You’ve actually heard of that one before from one of your girl friends who was gushing all about it. It was a rabbit designed cock ring, the two ends from the top was actually a vibrator so when you had sex the “rabbit ears” would stimulate your clit. Your friend said although it looked really ugly it really did the trick, but her boyfriend never liked using it because it was way too tight on him.

“It’s a cock ring,” You said unamused, standing up to walk over to the kitchen.

“Cock ring?” Jungkook responded, still sounding confused as ever.

“Did I stutter?” You said, digging through the pantry.

“Does it make you feel really good or something?”

You turn back to face him so you can yell at him for asking so many questions, but stopped once you saw his face. He was still looking at the toy, examining it in his hand intensely.

A small smile crept on your lips, and you’re glad he was still too focused on the toy in his hands to see. “Yeah Jungkook, it makes you feel real good.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, but quickly replaces his surprise with a lazy smirk. “Yeah right, this free shit would never work.” He tosses the toy back into the box.

You snicker at his response. How has he never heard of a cock ring? Was he that inexperienced? Jungkook’s a grown man, but you’ve always seen him as the little brat next door. “I mean, I heard that got a lot of positive feedback for being one of the best sex toys out there. Men go crazy about it,” You chimed in, continuing to tease him.

“That piece of rubber? Bullshit.” He walks back into the kitchen, throwing some more groceries into the fridge. After a couple of minutes of silence and fixing up the kitchen, Jungkook speaks up again.

“I mean, what does it even do? How is it that good?”

“I don’t know, but must be pretty amazing.” You were getting kind of tired of your little white lie, and his constant repetitiveness of the topic was staring to annoy you. Before he was about to speak up again you interrupted him.

“Jungkook! I told you to buy some more damn cereal!” You whack him on the back of the head and he groans.

“I got most of the stuff on the list!” He pouts.

“You had one job kid, and now we got milk and no cereal.” You huff, walking over to grab your purse. “I always have to do things on my own around here. I’ll be back in a bit.” You grab your keys and walk out the door.

You finally made your way back home after being stuck in traffic for a good thirty minutes just for some cereal. Damn that Jeon kid for forgetting one measly thing.

You were starving since you hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and you were too lazy to cook anything so why not just have some cereal? You walk to the kitchen to pull out a bowl, opening the box of Frosted Flakes and filling it up to the brim. You walk over to the fridge to grab the milk, opening the door. You were met with nothing but water bottles on the top shelf and some groceries at the bottom. Confused, you looked all over the sides and in the drawers. There was a whole carton before you left and now it disappeared!

Then it clicked in your head. Your eyebrows crinkled and you let out a heavy sigh, closing the fridge. “JUNGKOOK!”

That damn kid always brings the carton of milk into his room, sometimes drinking it straight out of the container. You hated sharing food with him for this very reason, and you should really get him to stop drinking that shit because he’s getting way too big for his own good.

You waited for a good minute just to give him mercy, but by now he should have answered you, walking out of his room with a yeah, yeah as he brings the carton back out.

But there was complete silence.

You groan, walking down the hall to where your bedrooms were. He better have a good ass explanation for why he hasn’t answered you by now. You twist the knob and roughly push the door open. “Where’s the fucking milk Jungkook?!”

You pause at the door, making eye contact with a seemingly alarmed Jungkook. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed faced away from you, shirtless again, head turned with his eyes wide and his mouth slightly ajar. He looks like a deer in the headlights, his hand clutching onto the sheets crumpled beside him.

“You’re just sitting there doing nothing but didn’t bother answering me?” You thought it was a little weird, but quickly brushed it off.

“Um—well, I—“ Before he can give you an explanation, your eyes catch the item you were looking for at the night stand beside where he was sitting.

“There it is, I fucking knew it!” You strode over to the carton.

“NO! DON’T COME HERE!” He hollers, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“Whoa no need to yell, what’s on your dick?”

“N-NOTHING! Just…go to the store and get more! This is my milk!”

You could have sworn you felt a vein pop out of your temple at his remark. “I just came from the damn store! That’s a brand new carton! And my milk your ass I paid for that!”

You were seriously getting tired of him. When will you finally be able to get away from him? 5 years? 10 years? Are you really going to have to spend the rest of your life with this brat?

You don’t even know why you’re listening to him at the moment. You can do whatever you want, he can’t stop you. You continue to make a beeline to your milk, running past him to grab it and run out. Your feet catches onto his blanket, causing you to trip over and onto the floor in front of him with a loud thump.

You groan on the floor, pushing the sheet off of you and sitting up as you rub your head. You turn your head to look at a mortified Jungkook, completely colorless as he stares back at you in complete fear and embarrassment. Confused, you were about to ask what his problem was but your eyes flicked south.

A mere inches from your face was his dick in his hand, semi hard and just…all out there. What definitely made your jaw drop was that right at the base was a familiar looking object, black with bunny ears sticking out at the top.

You covered your mouth, embarrassed to have caught him in the act but also trying so hard not to laugh in front of his face because you cannot believe he’s actually doing this.

“Y/N, I-I can explain-“

You get up on your feet and grab the milk from the night stand, walking straight to the door avoiding eye contact with him. “No need to Kook, pretty self-explanatory. You have fun with that!”

You just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible before it could get even more awkward, but he calls out to you, making you stop.

“No wait! Don’t go! I-Um…”

“If you think I’m going to sit here and watch you jack off you have another thing coming-“

“NO! It’s not that! Why the fuck would I ask you that? I’m not some sicko.”

“Says the one with a bunny cock ring on his dick-”

“OKAY! You got me there,” He sighs. “But I was just curious! What was so good about this piece of plastic? And then I put it on a-and…”

“And what?” It probably didn’t feel good as he expected it to. Hell, it’s supposed to be the complete opposite.

“Well, it’s kind of…kind of stuck.”

A few seconds of silence pass as you comprehend what he just said, then you burst out laughing. He jumped in his seat, surprised by your reaction but then gives you a glare and a pout. “Why are you laughing?!”

You grab onto your sides, tears coming out of your eyes. You just can’t control yourself. This dumb kid has a sex toy stuck on him and he can’t get it off.

“Y/N!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just so…so hilarious. Wow.” You wipe the tears from your cheeks as the last bits of chuckles come spewing out.

“It’s not funny! It won’t come off…a-and it really hurts.”

You can hear the pain in his voice and for a second you actually felt bad for him. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him that much.

But then again, he deserves it.

“Well, seems like you got a real problem on your hands. I’ll leave ya to it.” You say as you start walking out the door.

“Y/N WAIT! You have to help me!”

You turn back to face him, your brows knitting in confusion. “And why do I have to do that?”

“Please Y/N, you know I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t mean it.”

You stare at him for a moment, taking in his facial features. You were a couple of feet away from him but from there you could see the tears threatening to fall from his big doe eyes. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, probably to stop it from quivering in front of you. His broad shoulders visibly shook, and you sigh. He must really be in pain.

“Please, Noona.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by his response. He hasn’t called you Noona for years. The last time he called you that was years ago, during a small phase where he was actually really sweet and nice to you. You actually loved that Jungkook back then, but then he went a full 180 on you and went back to being a brat.

You bite your lip, contemplating on what to do. He winces in pain and lets out a long drawn out whimper, which immediately shot to your core. What the fuck?

You don’t know what overcame you but you had the sudden urge to touch him.

What the hell were you thinking?

You just want to help him, that’s all.

You let out a heavy sigh, then placed the milk on the TV stand, proceeding to walk over to him. “Fine, let’s just get this over with. I don’t want your parents to blame me for not watching you and you coming home dickless.”

His eyes light up in admiration for you, excited to finally be free of this dumb torture-like pleasure free device. You stop in front of him, sitting on your knees as you push his legs apart to get a better look.

Surprisingly, Jungkook didn’t have a micro penis like you thought he had all these years. It was actually really, really generous, probably one of the biggest you’ve seen. No wonder this kid had a big ego.

“Alright, let’s see what we got.” As awkward as this was supposed to feel, it didn’t feel as weird as you thought it would. Why did it feel normal to be on your knees in front of Jungkook’s dick? You honestly didn’t want to think about why other than the fact that you’ve known him all your life and being naked in front of each other probably isn’t a big as a deal as you would imagine. You guys used to bathe naked all the time; that counts for something right?

“Wow Kook, you got it lodged pretty good. How the fuck did you get that all the way up there?” You stared at the small device, tightly clenching the base of his shaft.

“I-I thought it was supposed to hurt in the beginning, and then it would feel good later. That’s how sex is for girls, right?”

You snorted. “Does it look like you have a vagina, Jungkook? I mean maybe you will after your dick falls off-“

“Stop!” He whines, pouting at you. “Don’t say that! I would die without my dick.”

“That actually sounds like a good plan, maybe we should leave it then-“ He grabs your hands in his, squeezing them tightly as you were about to sit up again.

“Y/-Noona, please, please help me. I’ll be good to you from now on. I won’t be a brat anymore if you help me. Just…please.”

He softly caresses the back of your hand, looking at you again like a lost puppy.

Was Jungkook really being obedient right now? He seems like he would do anything for you, listened to anything you said. He seemed so…submissive.

You unintentionally licked your lips, but immediately came back to your senses. It was really getting hot in here and your hands were starting to sweat.

You ripped your hands away from him. “Okay, okay. Jeez.” You played it off like you weren’t phased by what he said and his sudden new name for you. You just needed to get this shit off of him and then you could finally eat. Starving yourself is definitely not good for your head.

You take in a deep breath, then reach for him. You didn’t want to bother addressing the elephant in the room, the surprisingly pretty big elephant in the room, because you didn’t want to make this even more awkward as it is. Asking if you could touch his dick would probably make this situation even worse, so you’re just gonna do what you need to do.

You grasp onto the base of his shaft where the toy is, tugging it forward in attempts to take it off.

“OW!” Jungkook yelps, grabbing your wrist. “You’re hurting me!”

“I barely even touched you brat, suck it up.” You whip your hand away from him, bringing it back to the toy.

He really got himself into a real mess here. There’s barely any space between the toy and his dick. Did he really think this wasn’t going to happen?

You attempt to pull at it again while your hand rested on his abdomen. You didn’t expect Jungkook’s abs to be so defined and rock solid under your fingertips, but you quickly brushed the thought away while you focused on the situation at hand.

When you pulled, the toy stayed put and your hand ended up grasping through the rest of his length to the tip, leaving you empty handed. You cupped the toy again, firmly pressing against his stomach while you pulled again, only to bring your hand against him again without the toy. You hear him whimper under your touch but again you don’t let it get to you, thinking he’s just being a little wuss about the pain again. After another attempt of tugging it off and your hand unintentionally grasping his length, you accidentally squeeze the end of his tip, feeling the warmth on your fingertips.

All of a sudden Jungkook lurches forward, putting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing tightly. His face is a few inches away from yours, his heavy pants tickling your face.

“Noona,” He chokes out.

You look up at him to see his adam’s apple bob, licking his partly chapped lips as he lets out open mouthed pants while his other hand clutches the bed sheet. You could see him breaking a sweat down his temple, looking so fucking hot for some strange reason but then something breaks your thoughts.

You feel a pulse under your touch, and you realize you’re still grasping his tip. You look down to see his dick erect, the tip partly red as you slowly feel the palm of your hand get wet. You slowly open your hand to see pre-cum leaking from his tip, some smeared along your hand.

You instantly get red, looking back up at Jungkook with the best glare you could muster up at the moment when in reality you’re freaking out and heating up inside. “What the fuck Jungkook!?”

You were about to stand up to leave when he grabs you again. “I-I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”

“You’re gross!” You try to rip your hand away, but he keeps a firm grip.

“Y/N I’m sorry! Your hand just feels really, really soft…please, just help me get it off!” He pleads. “I’ll do anything Y/N. I promise!”

You look back at your hand covered in Jungkook’s residue, groaning at the sticky substance. You hate to admit that you loved the fact he got like that because of your hands, because of you touching him. You grab the blanket off the floor and wipe your hand, not wanting to think about it. You gulp once you face him again, his cock looking bigger than before and a bit more constricted against the toy.

You press your fingertips against the toy, attempting to twist it off of him. He whimpers, eyes shut tight as you can’t help but notice his stomach clench against your touch again.

“Noona, please...” He says again in what was like a husky whisper, sounding like he’s begging for you. The high pitched whine that came after striked right at your core, causing you to bite your lip. Your stomach was doing somersaults as you tried so heavily to focus on getting this damn toy off of him, but he was making this so, so hard. No pun intended.

You tried whatever you could, pushing it upwards and to the side and downwards, but none of it seemed to be working.

“I think we need to get some oil or something and maybe it’ll slip off,” You thought. “I’ll go get some in the kitchen.”

“You won’t find any,” He said hesitantly.

“What do you mean? I thought you just bought some?”

“I…was that on the list too?” He looks at your warily, biting his bottom lips as he slowly cowers away.

Your eyes turned to slits as your brows crinkled in distress again, letting out a long, slow sigh. “Well, I can’t think of anything else.”

“Why don’t you spit on it?” Your eyes bugged out while you looked at him like crazy woman. What did he just say?

“What?” You say, looking at him incredulously.

“Well, water isn’t going to work. We don’t have anything else and that’s all I could think of.”

“Do it yourself!” You yell, red as a tomato at what he just actually asked for you to do.

“I can’t! My hands are too big! Your hands are perfect and it’s easier if someone else does it. I’ll just hurt myself. Please, just do it it’ll work!” He pouts at you again, biting his bottom lip as he shifts uncomfortably on the bed. “You’re so gentle Noona. Help me,” He begs.

You know his words weren’t supposed to sound dirty in any way, but god why do you keep thinking like that?

Your empty stomach was messing with your head. Not only was your head throbbing, but you can’t ignore the ache between your legs either. You thought of just telling him to fuck off and leave him there to figure it out himself, but he speaks up again.

“It really hurts…I’m begging you Y/N,” He whimpers, whispering your name with a groan at the end. You notice his uneven breaths as his stomach vibrates, his veins protruding along his arms as he still clenches the sheets, the other hand holding onto his hard cock. He grasps himself, letting out a high pitched whine as he grits his teeth, seeing his eyes water yet again from his action.

You gulp at the sight of him before you, so helpless and vulnerable that causes your core throb even more.

You press your thighs together to ease the tension. You don’t know why such a helpless Jungkook was turning you on uncontrollably, and you’d love to see how much more he could beg and sob under your touch if he’d allow you to.

You shake your head, pulling yourself out of your crazy thoughts. This is getting really bad and you knew you had to get away from him quick. You needed this to be over as soon as possible.

“Fuck, okay! But we’re never fucking talking about this again. This never happened,” You say as you kneel in front of him again. You bring a hand to your face, spitting into it and smearing it along your palm. You cup the base of his shaft and glide your palm around the skin near the toy, trying to lubricate it as much as you can.

“It’s not enough Y/N, just spit directly on it,” He groans. You were going to yell at him for telling you what to do, but spared him once you saw his flushed and pained expression. You silently obeyed, sitting up so your face hovered over his dick. You collected enough saliva in your mouth and spit on the skin below the toy, letting the liquid slip down and over his cock. You bring your fingertips to massage the area, spreading your fluid as much as you can over him. Once you think it’s enough, you try pulling the toy again but it still didn’t budge.

“I-I think you still need to add more,” He pants.

“You think I got gallons worth Jungkook? That I’m a human sprinkler?” You spew.

“Well how about you just use your mouth?” He said nonchalantly.

You gaped at him, about to tell him off but then he cuts you off. “It would be easier! You wouldn’t have to keep spitting and have it dry up. You can get it all over and then it would pop right off!”

Your patience was really wearing thin with this kid. But then he grabs you by shoulders, pressing his sweaty forehead against yours.

“You’re my only hope Noona. You can only help me with this. I’ll do whatever you want after I promise.”

“I swear I’ll be a good boy.”

Good boy?

Hearing that made the last strings of your sanity cut loose.

Fuck it.

You push him away by his chest abruptly, making him almost fall back on the bed. He caught himself before he could fall, hands flat against the bed. Before he could ask you what your problem was, you flatten your tongue along the base of his shaft.

“Y/N!” He moans aloud, bucking his hips up and into your face. You glide your tongue along his vein, swirling your tongue against his tip. You press an open mouthed kiss, then wrap the tip around the lips as you suck lightly.

“Oh fuck! Noona,” He rasps, trying so hard not to lose control and grab your hair to push you further into him. His moans egg you on and you tease his slit, earning another strangled moan of your name from him. Then you bring your mouth down onto his cock, taking him inch by inch.

You try your best to use your tongue, trying to wet every inch of his throbbing cock until you finally reach the base where the toy was. You hear him panting like he just ran a marathon above you, groaning as he watches your pretty lips around his thick member.

“Your mouth is so warm, it feels so good,” He groans, licking his lips before he gulps as he watches you intently. You stop your movements and look up to him, making direct eye contact. He looks at you in confusion, seeing the subtle glint in your eyes. Before he could say anything you swallow hard, causing him to thrash his head back and fist your hair.

“Fucking shit!” He moans, bucking his hips upward into you, causing the tip to hit the back of his throat. It hurt of course, but seeing the way he reacts to your ministrations was definitely worth it.

You pull your mouth off of him just until the tip, then bring him all into your mouth once again, sucking harshly.

“Holy fuck Y/N,” he moans, grasping the back of your head as you bob up and down his length.

“Keep fucking doing that.” You scratch his thighs, telling him that you’re the one in control instead of him before grazing your teeth slightly against his length. He whines in response, slightly nudging your hair back to stop you.

“Y-Y/N please…I’m sorry, just please keep going.” You release him with a pop, wiping the saliva from your chin as you look at him with a glare.

“Why are you telling me what to do? I thought you said you’d be a good boy?” You say as you slightly dig your nails into his massive thighs once again. “Or should I stop?”

“No! No please! Don’t stop I’ll be good I promise!” He whimpers at you, bringing his hand to your cheek to slowly caress your face.

“I’ll be good Noona.” You pretend to contemplate on your answer when you definitely weren’t going to leave him like this now, but you seem to think he’s had enough when you see his arm shake and his lips quiver.

“You better be.” You bring your mouth back to him, sinking your mouth down his hardened length as you take all of him again. You didn’t really think of Jungkook as the vocal type, but hearing him shamelessly moan and whimper your name aloud to the point the next door neighbors could hear heightened your ego tenfold.

You release him, bringing your hand up and down his shaft. You lift his dick so it’s against his stomach, about to run your tongue against him once again when you noticed something odd. A very thin line was visible on the cock ring, located on the bottom side of his dick. You bring your face closer to the line, looking at it curiously. Very small and slightly faint read the letters OPEN right above the line, in bold lettering.

Aha! You thought. Finally. Before you could bring your hand to the little slit, Jungkook calls out to you.

“Why did you stop? I’m being good Noona. Please, keep going.” He cries, and you swear it’s a tear that slips from his eyes and down his cheek than his sweat.

You lick your lips, looking back down at the toy then back at his cock.

He deserves this for being a brat all these years.

You look back up at him, giving him a sweet smile which felt seemingly odd to him. You never smiled like that at him. “Okay, since you’re being so good for me Kook,” You say sweetly.

“Why are you- fuck!” Jungkook groans when you take him all in one go, his tip hitting the back of your throat. You slightly gag, your mouth so full from his thick length but you push through it. You wanted to see this boy suffer.

You continue to go all out, hollowing your cheeks and deep throating him in the best ways possible, drowning in all his whines and cries of your name and how you were so fucking good.

“N-Noona, fuck, I think I’m gonna-“ You smile at his words.

Any second now.

At one particularly harsh suck he grabs your head, sinking you further down his cock as your mouth hits the toy. He moans at first but quickly cries in agony, fisting your hair harshly as you try to focus relaxing your throat.

“What…What the fuck…?” He whimpers, eyes squinting closed as he groans.

You release him with a pop, looking up at him with innocent eyes. “What’s wrong Kook?”

“I-There’s something wrong,” He says, grabbing his dick and wincing.

“Does it still hurt Jungkook? You want Noona to make you feel good?” You pull his hand away from him, grasping his length once again and pumping up and down slowly. He cries again, grabbing your wrist to stop your movements. “It fucking hurts Noona. What’s happening?” He sounded so lost, so helpless.

You never thought yourself to be a sadist but fuck, you loved it.

“Shh, Kookie,” You slowly rise to your feet, standing between his legs as you grab onto his shoulder. You bring a finger to his chin, lifting his head so he can look up to you. “Let Noona help you. I’ll make you feel real good.” With that, you pushed him harshly on the chest, causing him to fall back into the sheets. You quickly shimmy out of your shorts leaving you in your black lacy underwear, then turn back to him.

You lick your lips, staring at him sprawled on his bed looking so fucked out, completely naked. You climb up over him, bringing one leg over to straddle his waist.

“Y/N, what are you-“ You muffled him with a kiss, soft and sweet at first but slowly getting rougher to the touch as seconds go by. He moans when you bite his bottom lip, allowing you to delve your tongue into his hot cavern. His hands quickly find purchase on the soft flesh of your hips, holding you tightly. You suck on the tip of his tongue, earning you a groan.

You bring your mouth to his ear, nibbling his lobe before you whisper, “Just relax, Kook. And let Noona do all the work.”

You rise above him, your hands running along his arms as you meet his hands on your hips. You bring your hands to the hem of your shirt, quickly lifting it off of you and exposing your matching black lace bra.

“God damn,” he choked, eyes as wide as saucers as his mouth gaped at your beautiful figure. You chuckle at his response, then bring your hand down to your underwear. You rubbed yourself through the fabric, lightly moaning as you feel your juices seep through. You were definitely ready for him already. You use two fingers to hook your underwear, pushing it to the side while using your other hand to grab his dick.

He groans, watching your movements as you align yourself with his dick.

“Y/N, are you sure you- ahh!” His nails dig into your hips as you slowly sink onto him, your mouth slightly ajar as he fills you up perfectly.

His length and girth is the perfect size for you, filling you up to the brim as you settle perfectly onto his cock. You moan once your ass meets his thighs, sitting still as you adjust to the new found fullness.

Then, you move. You bring yourself off of him until just the tip is left, then sit back down with a slap. You moan at the sensation, but Jungkook is crying from your action.

“Holy f-fuck! Fuckkk,” He whimpers, chest heaving as you bring yourself up only to come down with another harsh slap. You continue these movements until you set a steady pace, bouncing on his length.

“Y/N! Oh my god, fuck, fuck Noona,” He writhes below you, looking like he’s about to lose his mind as he twists his head back and forth with his eyes tightly shut.

“You feel so fucking good, god, keep going please,” He whines, continuously licking his lips as his mouth constantly lets out a string of profanities and whimpers.

“Am I making you f-feel good, Kook? Ah, fuck,” You groan, speeding up your pace as the room fills with constant slap, slap, slaps.

“Yes yes yes, fuck yes, you’re so fucking good, I’m losing my mind,” He chokes, bringing one hand to squeeze your ass while the other tightly grasps onto your upper thigh. You continue going hard against him, him hitting you so deep and in just the right spots. Every time you drop down you feel something hitting against your flesh, then you look down.

You forgot the cock ring was still stuck on him, then realize it was the bunny ears. Memories of your friend saying how good the vibrator was rushed into your head, then you bring one of your hands to the toy. You press the switch on the toy, the low buzz sounds filling the room along with Jungkook’s whines. Once you sink down onto him again the product lands right on your clit, vibrating at an inhumane speed which causes your eyes to roll back.

“Oh my fucking god!” You scream, pausing your movements as you let the vibrator run against your bundle of nerves. You’ve never felt anything like it before.

You attempt to squeeze your thighs together, slowly rotating your hips instead as you let the vibrations of the toy work its magic against you. You moan aloud again, throwing your head back as the feeling of Jungkook’s cock so deep inside you along with the toys ministrations make your mind go hazy. All of a sudden you feel Jungkook’s hips lurch forward, pounding into you from below as he holds you by the hips to keep you still.

“Jungkook!” You scream, scratching his chest with his hands as he takes over.

“Y-You’re getting tighter on me, fuck, you feel so fucking good,” He moans, filling you to the brim each time as the toy continues to rub against your clit.

You can’t contain your voice now, moaning nonstop as Jungkook keeps ramming into you, the toy helping you reach your high quicker than you ever thought possible. After a few more strokes you come undone, moaning loudly as you tightly clench Jungkook’s dick. He lets out a deep groan, continuously thrusting into you as you ride out your high.

“Y/N, Y/N, fuck fuck fuck, I’m gonna-“ Jungkook grabs onto your ass tightly, letting out a strangled moan. You watch as his head falls back into the bed, his stomach clenching tightly as he releases a choked sob. You felt his cock throb from within you, but no release. The side of your mouth twitches upward, but when you see his eyes fill with tears once again, him crying aloud, you finally actually start feeling bad.

You lift your hips, letting his hard cock slip out of you as you roll over beside him. You take a few seconds to catch your breath. You’re about to sit up to take the cock ring off of him but all of a sudden he rolls over to hover above you, spreading your legs open and pushing your panties to the side.

“Hey, what-“ He grabs his cock and roughly shoves himself into you again, causing you to throw your head back with a moan. He has his hands on either side of your head, then brings his mouth to your ears.

“You’re so fucking tight Noona, you feel so warm.” He grabs your hips as he starts pummeling into you, making your eyes roll back.

“You’re fucking hot as hell, you moaning my name and coming all over my cock,” He grunts, “You don’t know how many times I’ve came imagining what just happened. But why can’t I fucking come now?”

“J-Jungkook, stop,” You moan, trying to get him to stop so you can take the ring off of him. But he doesn’t let up, too focused on trying to reach his release as he fucks you harder, grunting and growling as he picks up his pace. The toy continues to buzz, occasionally rolling over your nub if Jungkook angles it the right way, causing you to yell out. He spreads your legs further, tossing one of your legs over his shoulder to reach into you deeper.

“That picture of you bouncing on my dick, fucking me, using me to make you feel good, I never imagined how fucking sexy you’d actually look. And the way you moan my name, fuck I’ll come just from thinking about that next time I touch myself,” He groans, reaching behind you to rip off your bra. His mouth latches onto your nipple, sucking your breast as you grab his head to bring him closer. He laps your nub, licking up the valley of your breasts and brings his lips to yours.

You moan into his mouth, allowing him to ravage you some more. He brings both of your legs around his waist and you cross them, shoving himself into you faster. At this angle the toy is hitting directly on your clit each time he pounds into you, making you scream out his name as you clutch the bedsheets beside you.

“Jungkook!” You moan his name like a mantra, your release getting closer and closer. He continues kissing you, and after a few more deep strokes you come all over him again, squeezing him so hard he yells your name aloud, his cock throbbing uncontrollably as you clench tightly around him. His hands are holding your hips so tightly you know there’s going to be bruises in the morning, but you don’t care. You move your hips against him as you embrace the waves of pleasure, panting as you finally go limp. You’re about to slowly doze off from being so tired, wiping the sweat along your temple when you hear another choked sob. Jungkook pulls out of you, his dick still hard and swelled. The tip looks painfully red, the rest of his shaft looking constricted as he whimpers again.

“I-I fucking can’t,” He cries, his cheeks red and wet with tears of frustration as he looks at you with pleading eyes.

“Oh Kook,” You bite your lip. Maybe you really went too far.

You crawl over to him on his knees, carefully touching his length. He winces at your touch, whimpering as you lift it up. You press the button to turn off the vibrations, then use your fingernail to dig into the slit of the toy, pulling it forward as it pops open. He groans in relief as you slowly drag the toy off of him, tossing it to the side.

“And that’s what you get for being a brat all these years.” You say as you plop onto his bed, grabbing the sheets to cover yourself.

“What?” He looks at you confused, then his eyes widen.

“Wait…you fucking knew?”

You chuckle, “Of course, who doesn’t fucking know what a cock ring does? It stops you from coming, Kook.” You shuffle onto your side, getting ready to fall asleep.

“So you fucked with me this whole time?” He said in a low tone, venom laced in his voice.

“Fucked and fucked,” You said. “You’ve always fucked with me all these years. I was just making it even. Also we’re not telling anyone about this, okay?” You pointed back and forth from yourself to him, then plopped back onto the pillow.

Silence filled the room and you accepted it with open arms. You were just completely exhausted at this point, not having really expected such a good fuck from Jungkook. But hey, he made you feel good and you got your revenge, so it all works out. You were slowly slipping off into dreamland but all of a sudden the sheets are ripped off of you. Your legs were pulled downward, dragging your head off the pillow.

“What the fuck-“ Jungkook grabs your waist and flips you over onto your stomach, pushing your head down into the mattress while your ass is raised in the air. You attempt to turn around to ask him what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, but you cry as a hard slap echos in the room.

He smooths his rough palm against your right cheek where he spanked you, then brings his hand once again over the spot making you choke.

“You think this is a fucking joke? Making me lose my fucking mind, not letting me come three times?”

“Let go brat-“

Slap.

“The girl of my fucking dreams comes in here and sucks me off, fucks me twice, yet I couldn’t even fucking enjoy it cause I was in so much pain? You know how fucking horrible that is?” He grabs your underwear, tearing it in half as he lets it fall on the bedspread.

“Jungkook-ahh!” You moan once he brings his hand to your core, running his fingers along your slit.

“You call me a brat all the time, yell at me, yet I do everything for you,” He says as he lets a finger slip in, pumping into you as your wet juices fall down your thighs. “But you didn’t even let me come once.”

“Jungkook I can’t, not anymore,” You whimper, fisting the sheets as he plunges a second finger into you.

“Oh you can’t? But you came so many times Noona. Fuck, I even called you Noona cause I knew you secretly loved that,” He grunts. “I hate saying that. But I did it for you, to make you feel good Y/N.”

“Please,” You beg, trying to move away from his touch. But he doesn’t let up, continuing to touch you.

“I think you can go again. You never do anything for me, so you can do this. I haven’t even come yet,” He drags his fingers out of you, then leans forward so his dick sat against your cheeks and his chest leaned against your back. He brings his fingers to your lips, prodding them at your entrance. “Suck.”

You complied, opening your mouth as you lapped up your juices on him. You hear him groan behind you, slowly rubbing his length against your ass.

“God, you’re so fucking hot.” He leans back, pumping himself a few times before he aligns his tip at your entrance. You were going to attempt to stop him again but he pounds right into you, causing your face to fall flat onto the sheets.

He immediately starts off rough and fast, holding you by the hips as he drags you to him, fucking you onto him. You mewl, so sensitive from the last two rounds that you didn’t have the strength to do anything.

“Fuck, you’re still so fucking tight,” He groans, “God, I imagined fucking you so many times before, but I never thought it’d feel this good.”

“Jungkook…” You moan, slowly feeling the coiling in your stomach return.

“All these years Y/N, having to deal with seeing you in those short shorts, those low tops, fuck, you were such a fucking tease,” His thighs slap harder against your ass.

“Did I ever tell you I walked in on you changing once? I fucking ran to my room and jacked off that entire night to that image.” You moaned in response, thinking about the thought of Jungkook touching himself, pumping his shaft hard and fast as he thought of you, moaning your name as he came. And he was only a couple of feet away from you in the other room.

“But I never did anything about it, because you always treated me as the little brat next door,” He growled, flipping you over so you were on your back, then pushing himself right back in.

“Tell me Y/N, do you still think of me as a kid?” He grabbed one of your breasts, kneading it as he sucked on the other. “Would some brat make you feel this fucking good?”

You moaned in response, grabbing his hair as you tried to pull him closer to you. He sucked harder, pinching your nub between his fingers as he continued thrusting you at a harsh pace. He let you go, rising up to adjust you again, hooking his arms around your thighs as he fucked you into his mattress.

“Fuck, Jungkook! Oh my fucking god,” You moan aloud, slightly arching your back as he drilled into you, making your body slowly inch upward and closer to the bedframe. The hinges squeaked uncontrollably, the bed frame hitting against the wall each time he thrusted into you.

The angle was causing you to see stars, his length hitting you in your deepest and most pleasurable spot.

“Fuck, I think I’m gonna-“

He immediately stops his movements, causing you to groan at the loss of your blissful release.

“Why the fuck did you stop!?” You yell, tears of frustration clouding your vision.

He smirks at you in return, leaning forward until his face is a mere inches from yours.

“I don’t think you deserve it. Why should I let you come again?” You try to move in response, but he still has his arms around your legs, keeping you in place.

“Please,” You beg, wanting nothing more than to just drown in euphoric feeling of letting go against him.

“How are you gonna make me?”

“I’ll do anything! I won’t call you brat anymore! Just please, let me come,” You whimper, bringing your hands to cup his face.

“Hmm…” He contemplates for a little while, then you whine another please before he chuckles.

“You’ll do anything?”

“Anything.”

“Will you be my girlfriend after this?”

Your eyes widen and your jaw drops, not expecting that request at all. You thought he’d want you to suck his dick again, which you wouldn’t mind. But girlfriend?

He grabs your hand into his, then slowly caresses his face into your touch. He turns his face to kiss the inside of your palm, then each of your fingertips.

“I’ve loved you since I was 7. You’re the only girl for me, and we’re practically going to be together for the rest of our lives cause of our parents. My parents don’t want me to be with anyone else either, so we already have their blessing.” He smiles at your speechless face, then brings himself forward to give you a kiss on the nose.

Butterflies fill your stomach, and you feel like you can’t breathe for a moment. This brat has been with you for so long you never realized you actually loved him too, and you wouldn’t know what you would do without him.

“So do I take that as a yes?” He says, peppering sweet kissing along your jawline.

You bite your lips, but slowly your mouth curves into a smile. “You’re such a greaseball.”

He chuckles, bringing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, melting into his kiss.

“Okay not to ruin the moment but I’m kind of fucking dying here and I feel like my dick is going to fall off,” He groans, feeling him still hard within you.

You giggle, giving him one last kiss on the lips before moving away from him. “Where do you want to come?”

“Fuck,” He grunts, licking his lips as he contemplates.

“I want to come inside you.” You nod at his response, “That’s fine, I’m on the pill. And how do you want me?”

“On top.” You nod again, smiling at him as you lift yourself up, changing positions with him. He falls back on the sheets and groans while he watches you straddle him, lining his cock with your soaking entrance. Once again you sink onto him, allowing him to fill you up to the brim. Both of you sigh in content, him kneading your breasts and you holding onto his chest.

You quickly start bouncing on him, wanting him to have his relief as quickly as possible. He groans as your ass slaps against his thighs harshly every time you come down, eyes closed shut as his mouth hangs open. You clench against him, trying to milk him out for his release, and he moans your name louder. You feeling the throbbing occur and you know he’s close. You were so focused on trying to get him off that you didn’t realize Jungkook reached for the toy again, turning the power on as the slight buzzing filled the room. Your eyes pop open and you cry aloud once he presses the vibrator part of the cock ring against your clit, making you writhe above him.

“Oh fuck! Fuck, Jungkook, fuck,” You mewl, moving faster against him as he keeps the toy against your bundle of nerves.

“Come on Y/N, come for me babe. Come all over my cock,” He grunts, and after a few more seconds of the toy against you you let go, lurching forward as you throw your head against Jungkook’s chest, crying his name aloud. He grabs onto your hips and plants his feet flat on the bed, fucking you through your high, and after another half dozen strokes he chokes your name out, coming inside of you in long, hot spurts. Jungkook’s warmth felt nice inside you, and you continued moving as best you could until he finished, groaning as he slowly went limp inside of you.

Both of you were panting and you could feel his rapid heartbeat slow against your cheek. He brings a hand to brush through your hair, bringing a blanket to cover the both of you before wrapping an arm around your waist.

“I love you Y/N,” He said, kissing your temple.

“And I love sex toys now even though it hurt like a bitch, but at least it brought us together.” You slap his chest, causing him to let out a chuckle. “We should give it a 5 star review. The toy sucked ass for me but it also brought me this beautiful ass,” He said as he squeezed one of your cheeks. “Pretty great if you ask me.”

“You’re still dumb and a brat,” You said as you rested your chin on his firm chest, staring up at him. You leaned forward to kiss his bottom lip, right where his mole was that you always secretly adored.

“But honestly, I love you too.”

#jungkook #bts #fanfic #comedy #smut #notsohonest #wonhopes

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crimson-dxwn · 3 years

Text

Love So Alike (Jango Fett x F!OC)

Summary: Jango Fett takes the occasional bounty posting to keep things interesting. This time, his ship gets hit and he crash-lands far from Kamino. Fortunately, he is found.

Rating: Teen

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury, mild lustful thoughts

This is going to be multi-part! Also many apologies for the sh*ttiest pic collage ever. I tried. HMU if you want to be on the taglist!

-------------------------------------------------------- This day has been fucked to shit, officially. His latest bounty had friends. Nothing he couldn’t handle, but Slave I, Slave I had taken more damage than he was prepared for. One of said Klatoonian friends nailed a lucky shot. Right to the damn hyperdrive, and now he was stranded in the Outer Rim, parsecs from Kamino. Jango’s next priority was picking which skughole to crash-land on and try to fix the damage.

His bones protested the bumpy ride to the surface of the green and blue marble enlarging rapidly before him. Ralltiir, the most hospitable-looking planet in this system. It was about as populated as Concord Dawn, which wasn’t saying much. Fortunately not Republic controlled or occupied. The navicomputer helpfully told him that it was an agricultural world - great - with a few mid-size urban centers. The best he could hope for was to try and aim for one of those. The choking whine coming from the backside of his ship was leading him to believe that it wasn’t just his hyperdrive that was damaged. Smoke started to fill the cockpit, acrid and hazy, as he struggled to keep the controls on course for a settlement. His helmet could only filter so much particulate - every breath burned and his head swam.

He entered atmo at the same time as a great boom echoed from below him, shaking the ship as his stomach lurched uncomfortably. This wasn’t going to be pretty. His hands were numb now on the controls and he struggled to keep them gripped to the joystick. The details of the world below were rapidly coming into focus as Slave I careened toward the surface. His head spun from the lack of oxygen, and he ripped his helmet off to find even more acrid air. Boba...his thoughts ran toward his son, left on Kamino in the care of the aiwha-bait while he chased bounties. He should’ve stayed with his son; he was gonna die on this planet, covered in mud, far from Kamino. There was way too much water, more than he judged when he’d briefly studied the map. If he overjudged his landing, he’d drown in the middle of nowhere with nobody to come looking.

The joysticks protested his efforts to pull the ship up parallel with the ground as trees whipped by, filling his windscreen completely. Solid ground blessedly met the flat landing platform of his ship as the g-forces nearly robbed Jango of consciousness and his head cracked against the console. Boba. He’d make it back. Just another bumpy landing, he thinks, as he stripped out of his harness, coughing black soot from his lungs. There was a little blood left on the back on his hand when he wiped his mouth. Nothing to worry about. He’d had worse. As soon as he could breathe fresh air, he’d be able to think straight and get out of this. When the edges of his vision weren’t blackening and closing in. Finally he made it down the lowered ramp. And his vision blacked out completely.

Through her binocs, Roha watched the man faceplant into the mud. His ship crashing had nearly blown both eardrums to smithereens a few minutes ago and she couldn’t resist clambering up on an outcropping of rocks to watch the ship come down, barely a klik from the homestead. He wore strange armor, from what she could judge that wasn’t soot-blackened or covered in churned soil from the crash. She couldn’t identify his ship, but Roha guessed it wasn’t common from its unusual shape. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen in her roughly thirty years here. Truly, the man must be a skilled pilot to be able to crash-land so delicately that his ramp could still open. From the look of the back end of the starship, he’d taken some heavy damage, probably from some less-than-legal outfits. The man cut quite a figure until he fell, face-first, towards the ground. Part of her hesitated to help, worried that it might be a ploy. But the way he’d gone slack led her to believe that his need was genuine. And so she wiped her dirty hands on her skirt and hurried to the smoking hulk. She prayed she wouldn’t need the small vibroblade hidden alongside her right leg. Roha’s breathing was coming fast by the time she reached the prone figure. Not that she had much to worry about - he hadn’t moved a muscle since passing out.

Roha crouched next to him, watching his back rise and fall shallowly for a few seconds before getting her arms underneath his torso. Flipping him on his back was going to be difficult. The man wasn’t tall, but he was thicker than she anticipated, dense with muscle and weighed down by silver fox armor. Mud squelched as she dug her boots into the mire, searching for some leverage. Finally she got him on his back. Soot streaked his face - his very handsome face. Joining the old scars lining the man’s rugged features was a new gash over his left temple, still oozing blood. Two fingers on his neck revealed a strong, regular pulse, and despite being minimally conscious he seemed to be relatively intact.

The ship had hidden itself relatively well, nestled in a copse of trees at the bottom of the valley, though others were likely to have seen the craft. It was fortunate he’d landed where he did. Half a klik farther east and he’d be at the bottom of the ocean. He groaned a bit - that was encouraging - but didn’t open his eyes. He needed medical attention, that much was obvious. And shelter, that too. No use worrying in who’s shot him down at the moment. That was a worry for later. Now that she’d determined he was alive, the next problem was how to lug his unconscious body back to her cabin.

She knelt in the mud as rain started to mist down on the two of them, him unconscious in the mud and her knee deep in the mire. Eventually she trudged back to the homestead in her soggy boots and harnessed her single orbak and constructed a makeshift stretcher for him to haul. The man was blessedly still breathing when she led the animal back to the crash site. His eyes were still closed and the oozing from his cut had stopped. Was she really about to bring this stranger into her home? Maybe he’d recover and be on his way. Roha checked his breathing again. Still his chest rose and fell, rapid and shallow, dark brows furrowed.

The orbak huffs, indignant at being roped into extra work for the day. The sun had set below the mountains in the west and her breath steamed out in from of her face. There wasn’t much time before it became too cold for him to be lying out in the open, wet and covered in icy steel. She sighed and made her decision as the orbak stamped his feet, impatient for a warm stall.

“Me too, boy,” she murmured to the beast. Using her full weight, she heaved the man onto the stretcher. The mud soaked through her skirt, so cold that it numbed her skin from her thighs all the way to her ankles. She couldn’t wait to light a crackling fire...maybe heat up some water for a bath. Her skin crawled at the thought. Darkness was falling, and the rain falling harder with it. She clicked in the back of her throat to urge the pony back home. He carried the man easily and she thanked her lucky stars she’d traded for him six months ago, though she lamented not trimming his feathered fetlocks which were - to her dismay - now caked in dark fertile mud. Another worry for tomorrow.

She got him back to the homestead. It had been hers for years since her husband had died. Modest though it was, it was enough. Though a main pitfall, she now realized, was the single bed. Not that she’d be sleeping much anyway, with an unknown man in her home. But part of this felt...right. If she left him outside like, she’d never forgive himself if he died. Damn the consequences. Still wouldn’t sleep a wink.

Her heart breaks for her bedding when she finally rolls his mud-covered body on it with a pained groan. Though fortunately he’d gained a bit of consciousness on the trip to the cabin so she didn’t have to lug his dead weight through the threshold. She on the other hand, was absolutely exhausted. It was all she could take to strip him down to his basics to look at his abdomen and extremities. Hideous bruises covered his chest and stomach. It looked incredibly painful. The man hadn’t done much in terms of movement besides thrash his head from side to side and moan softly. He needed a medical droid, but there wasn’t one for a long ways. The best she could do was cool compresses for the bruises and keep him warm and hydrated. And pray he lived.

---

When Jango wakes it’s because someone is touching his face. It wasn’t something that happened often. And when it did it filled him with prickly discomfort. He greatly preferred the security and anonymity of his helmet. The desert that was the back of his throat distracted him for the moment. He tried to get his bearings. No helmet, but he vaguely remembered removing it in the ship. No comforting weight of beskar on his chest. An arm reaches up to inspect exactly why he was in his basics and how he was going to escape….wherever this was. Forcing his stinging eyes open, he registered a slatted wood ceiling, the smell of woodsmoke and an undercurrent of earthy sweetness he couldn’t quite identify.

A hand stopped his own and Jango grasped the attached forearm, hard. Time to break out.

His abdomen strongly protested his efforts to sit up. Pain struck him, so overwhelming he almost blacked out, and he let out a pathetic noise that normally he wouldn’t be caught dead making. Half groan, half sob. He’d really done it now. Jango settled for simply turning his head and a woman came into view, forearm still trapped in his grip. When her pleading eyes met his, he dropped his hand. She was maybe the least threatening thing that his mind could conjure up at this exact moment.

“Don’t try to sit up,” she said, “you’re badly injured.” He’d established that already, thanks.

“Where..” even talking hurt. He tried again. “--where am I?”

“Ralltiir,” the woman replied, “in the Outer Rim. You crash landed--”

“I know that,” he interrupted. She shut up, wariness in her soft brown eyes.

“Where is my armor?”

She pointed to the foot of the bed she’d laid him on, and there it was, neatly stacked in a wicker basket. “And my blasters?”

“Confiscated,” she replied. She was rubbing her forearm where he’d grabbed her. Jango could see the marks from his fingers marring her skin. He didn’t make a habit of hurting women, but sentiment about which parts enemies had between their legs didn’t prevent them from killing you.

“Your ship went down about a klik north of here. You passed out from smoke inhalation and I couldn’t just leave you facedown in the mud-” her speech was getting faster and faster; it was obvious she was scared of him. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so gruff with her. After all, she could’ve just slotted his shebs outside Slave I. Jango reaches a hand up to his face. Quite the stubble growth. He had to have been lying here for almost a day. More than enough time for her to call any sort of scum - slavers, bounty hunters, or worse. He sighed as she babbled on, wringing her hands nervously. He decided to take pity on her and interrupt.

“-can I at least have my undersuit back?” She looked at him with a wide, embarrassed expression. Sheepishly, she went to the basket and pulled out his shirt and pants, neatly folded and suspiciously devoid of mud.

“I’m Roha,” she offered, with a pregnant pause, obviously expecting him to return the favor. He supposed it was enough that she dragged him a klik back to what seemed to be her home and probably her own bed.

“Jango,” he replied. Roha gave a small smile in response and started busying herself with rearranging the stacked armor and accessories in the basket.

After his show earlier it was clear that he was going to need help sitting up. Frustration boiled deep in him - it wasn’t often he needed help. Especially from wilting female farmhands. From an upright vantage point he’d be able to get a better idea of his surroundings. Besides, being kept supine under heavy blankets was making his claustrophobia flare up.

“Uh..” he started, “do you mind...” Maker, he hated feeling this helpless. Jango grit his teeth and tried again. “Can you help me sit up?”

“Oh. Yes, of course.” She reached an arm out and he grasped her hand with his. It was still painful, but she was surprisingly strong. Soft brown curls fanned out from her face and there was a strand of something caught in it. Hay. A strange impulse to brush it away flashed across his mind, but he pushed it down. Roha stood back a few paces, still watching him carefully. It was good she was wary.

Throwing off the woven blankets, he gingerly rose. Somehow his legs had survived mercifully intact, though now with his chest bare he could see the extent of the bruising that he could previously only feel with every breath. Moving was slow, and he needed to use the edge of the bed for support. Jango could feel the woman’s eyes still on him, skin prickling at the unwanted contact. It reminded him too much of his youth, stripped down to his basics, injured, helpless and trapped in an unfamiliar place.

“Do you mind?” he snapped over his shoulder. He could practically feel her blush. It rose over her cheeks and down her neck, barely tinting her tanned skin.

Her eyes snapped to the floorboards, looking chastened. “Sorry.”

Jango got his bearings as he changed, taking in the little cottage. It was one spare room, likely with a fresher out the back, much like the ones he’d grown up in on Concord Dawn, except this one was made of light-colored wood. He imagined must have quite the concussion because all the sights and smells of such a humble place had begun dredging up memories he swore he’d forgotten forever. Maybe it was the osik’la jedi playing mind tricks - as they were wont to do - weaving a scene to get him to talk. Unbidden, his stomach rolled over and the room spun with it. He breathed hard through his nose, trying to steady himself. Blessedly, the nausea faded but he had to slow his movements to a crawl and focus on one point in front of him. He already felt less exposed with the flight suit on. It was something.

“My ship?” he asked.

“Besides the back end? Relatively unscathed,” she said, eyes still glued to the floor, “but I’m no mechanic.”

No shock there. He made a noncommittal sound under his breath. Despite his suspicion of head trauma he did remember his hyperdrive getting shot to smithereens as well as the smoke pouring out the engine room and filling the cockpit. The question of where he was going to get parts to fix Slave I was a bit of an afterthought, as he currently could barely move. Plus, he’d been unconscious for hours and there were more pressing needs to take care of.

He cleared his throat. “Fresher?”

“Out back,” she replied, and gestured at the heavy wooden door at the back of the homestead. “Can you walk?”

“I’ll manage.” He hoped he could keep his feet enough to manage a piss. Guess he was about to find out.

When get returned, she was pulling something out of the ancient looking oven. It was a giant behemoth of cast iron with a chamber to feed in sticks of firewood. Whatever it was smelled...amazing. Jango was back on the bed, despite his best efforts to stay upright, and settled for simply watching her like a hawk from his perch, trying his best to ignore the ache that gnawed in his belly.

“Why are you helping?” He’s a little shocked the phrase slipped out. But he wants to know. She should’ve just left him, called the cops or whatever passed for them in this backwater. He wasn’t used to blind kindness, to giving without some sort of transactional relationship.

She was still fussing around the stove, conspicuously letting him have his privacy. He was more grateful than suspicious and so he fell silent, content to watch her work. Half her skirt was tucked into the thick leather belt wrapped around her waist. It was thick and worn, with a swirling tooled pattern, and much too big for her. It was fastened on its smallest setting, which happened to be a sloppily awled hole far from the rest of its counterparts.

“Is it just you all the way out here?” he asked, strength fading fast.

Again, she eyed him warily, but replied, apparently dismissing him as a threat at present. “Yes, just me.” Without elaboration she went back to her cooking and Jango finally gave into his screaming midsection. Lying on the bed felt like such a relief. It had been a while since he’d been badly injured and he’d almost forgotten how much it took out of you. The clinking and shuffling from the other end of the room lulled him back under despite his best efforts, and he fell asleep wondering about Boba.

———

That night Roha woke to Jango’s anguished murmuring, listening to him thrash from her nest of blankets in the corner. She’d wanted to get a little broth into him, but he’d fallen fast asleep after their brief, awkward conversation and she wasn’t keen on waking him again. He’d survive without broth for a night, at least. Now, though, he was fretful and she hoped it was a nightmare rather than his injury.

Boba, he kept muttering, over and over. A name? His partner perhaps? A parent? A child?

Trying to get back to sleep was impossible. Roha settled back against the wall and willed him to calm. At first she thought it worked, until he started visibly shaking, large hands gripping the sheets. His muttering changed violently. He was almost yelling now, in a language she didn’t recognize - harsh and grating on her ears. She debating waking him once again. He was going to hurt himself. Tangled in the sheets, he kept shouting in the strange language.

She was exhausted. Wary to wake him too suddenly, she kept her distance, though she knew he could barely sit and walk on his own. The moonlight spilled through the window to the bed, lighting his features in his half-sitting position, arm clutched over his midsection.

And then he looked right at her. The eeriness of his wide open eyes struck her.

“Anade kyrayc...”

“Jango?” she asked, her voice low and soft. She didn’t dare touch him.

He hissed. “Ke’pare.”

She started a little more strongly this time. “Jango.” He stilled and the absolute expression of anguish on his face broke her heart.

“You’re safe,” she assured him. His dark eyes were glassy and stared less at her and more through her, still wandering in the land of nightmares. Though he calmed a little, breaths coming less harshly than a few minutes earlier. “Go back to sleep. You’re safe here.”

Relief weakened her knees as he paused and gingerly laid himself back down, still trembling ever so slightly. Noting his sweat-dampened head and soaked clothes, she rummaged in the storage space below the bed for a pair of Jet’s old pants and a tunic and set them at the end of the bed. She hoped they would fit, though right now she was too exhausted to care much. Curling up in her corner once again, she slept fitfully, chased by fretful dreams of her own and unable to get comfortable on the hard floor despite the cushioning of her quilts.

Hours later, she was roused once again by the sound of someone foreign in her home. Jango was returning from the fresher, in his sleeping clothes. Deep purple circles ringed under his eyes. She felt the same - this cycle of waking the other was getting old.

“‘Morning,” he said gruffly.

“Good morning,” she replied. The warm orange sunrise was peeking through the window over the sink. As good a time as any to get up - the animals would be waiting to be fed.

“I thought you might like a change of clothes,” she offered, nodding towards the tunic and pants. Jango squinted at them. “They were my husbands. If you’d like to bathe, the inlet out front is cold but clean...or I can bring water from the well for you?”

“That won’t be necessary”

“I’ll be at the barn, just yell if you need me.”

He looked down, looking halfway bashful rather than stern. “Thank you,” he said finally.

He glanced at the clothes again and Roha busied herself with the kitchen scraps for the roba, not wanting to pester him or reveal any more embarrassing details about herself.

“There’s bread wrapped in the cloth on the counter,” she threw over her shoulder on her way out. Her own stomach was grumbling terribly, but it would have to wait.

The barn was a ways from the house. Enough that any - unpleasant - smells wafted away in the wind, but close enough for a bearable walk when the snows fell. The chill of early spring was in the air and the breeze was clean and fresh, nipping at her cheeks and making her wish she’d thrown a shawl on over her thin top or under the quilts and furs on her bed. It was plenty warm in the house with a banked-low fire. The creamy white stones that lined the outside had been specially picked for their insulating properties.

The chores whiled away mindlessly. On her way to the pasture she heard the faintest creak of the front door back at the homestead. It shocked her that he’d refused her offer to heat him some bath water. Most men she knew would’ve jumped at the chance to be waited on hand and foot, all while denying that they liked it, or worse - expected it.

Pouring the grain into the trough, she resisted the urge to look for him behind her. Though the tip of the inlet was a ways away, she still averted her eyes while she walked the path back to the barn. If he felt up to bathing, he was probably out of the woods for now.

She heard the breath he sucked through his teeth when he realized how cold the water was and smiled. Maybe he’d changed his mind about that bath. She peeked just for a moment to the shore, just to make sure he was safe and not lying facedown on the pebble beach. The water was waist height, lapping at his lower back. His shoulders were tense, whether from cold or pain she couldn’t tell.

Roha couldn’t believe she’d mentioned Jet. She rarely spoke of him, let alone reveal to strange men staying in her home that she didn’t have a man of the house. Her mother would disapprove. What she would also disapprove of his how long Roha has been staring at a naked and injured man’s heavily muscled back while he bathed. Heat rose to her face and for once she was glad she was alone out here. Insistent bleating of the gathered sheep in their shed finally drew her attention away from the very well-made man half-submerged in her little bay.

She fed them their allotment of grain as usual, but something was off. Almost all her ewes were pregnant, and it was a little early for them to lamb, but the one with the cream fleece and black undercoat was nowhere to be seen. A little pit formed in her belly. It had frosted overnight, and if the ewe gave birth in the pasture, the lamb was vulnerable to hypothermia. Roha hopped the fence, leaving the rest of the flock to their breakfast and headed out into the pasture. Parts of the grass in the shade still crunch with frost under her boots. She’s lucky the ewe’s coat sticks out so much or she’d never have found her in the copse of trees at the far corner of the pasture complete with a tiny black lamb, curled up by its mother, barely moving.

The mother was concerned, nudging the little creature with her nose, trying to get the little one to perk up. Crouching by the pair, she tries to rouse the lamb. It breathes fast, wet coat cool to the touch. She sighs. They’d need to be separated; the baby was too cold now to be kept in the shed. Roha prayed Jango was washed and dressed as she rushed back to the cottage.

He was back in bed, dressed in Jet’s old clothes, breathing deep and even. The bath had taken a lot out of him, then. Oblivious, the tiny thing in her arms gave a weak cry. Jango opened an eye to assess and Roha busied herself making a nest out of a ratty old blanket and mixing formula she kept in the storage shed.

When she glanced back at her guest, he was upright on the bed - a promising sign.

“What’s this, then?” he asked.

“Little one came on an inopportune morning,” she replied, rubbing the lamb dry with the blanket and scooching herself closer to the fire for warmth. It took to the bottle well, fortunately, and drank its fill. Jango watched silently as she worked. She stroked the little whorls of wool on the lamb’s head absentmindedly. Jango didn’t look confused at why she had a farm animal indoors and she wondered if this wasn’t the first time he’d crash landed on a rural world and been taken in. She couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Sitting here, alone with him in the small house brought back the events of the previous night vividly. She’d never ask what he’d dreamed about. He likely wouldn’t remember, and the last thing Roha wanted was to dredge up any painful memories he might have. And by the amount of scars littering his body, he had many. What she couldn’t help beng curious about was the name he’d called out, distinct from the rest of his speech.

She tried to be as nonchalant as possible.

“Who’s Boba?”

One look at his expression told her that she’d made a wrong move.

--------------------------------------------------------

Mando’a Translations

anade kyrayc - everyone’s dead

Ke’pare - wait

#Jango Fett x OC #Jango Fett #Roha (OC)#sw prequels fic #my writing #barely edited we die like men

48 notes · View notes

scarsmood · 3 years

Text

Mental Health and Otherkinity

This is my panel I did today! enjoy! it’s the script

My name is scar im apart of a system of 4, I am mightyenakin from pokemon. Trans ftm and very queer. We have a lot to go over so lets jump in.

Today I want to talk about my experience with being psychological kin. Talk about how this has shaped me as a person. How the community handles psychological kin as well as the greater outside world. So lets get into it. Otherkinity has been in my life ever since I can remember. From the age of 3 I can remember feeling non human and having alters that were also non human. I’ve also found for my life and my experience my mental health and my otherkinity are two things that have wound themselves together. I can never look at one without the other are both play a critical role in my identity.

I can say as psychological otherkin right now I stand at an interesting intersection of my life where I have the most freedom I have ever had and dealing with the worst trauma I’ve had to face. I recently got out of a bad long term relationship of something I had been in for 7 years. I can say the events I’ve lived did and still do directly impact my identity and change how I see myself.

for me I cannot explore my otherkinity without exploring my trauma and mental health

these two parts of myself are closely woven together. DID is a product of trauma and it’s something that rules over my life daily.

It is something I don’t just accommodate it is a way of life for me.

For the past 3 years I’ve been in intensive therapy going at least once every two weeks. At one point going twice a week, completed an inpatient and outpatient program. Needless to say I have been fortunate enough to not be in a lot of debt. However I would like to think that these things have helped me immensely. With the background talk out of the way lets get into how these things have shaped my identity.

A little bit about me. I am diagnosed with DID or dissociative identity disorder. This means my identity is split apart between alters or alternate personalities. If your unfamiliar with plurality I can say with confidence that can be its own talk but heres what you need to know.

• My alters are distinct each having their own morals, ideals, life perspective, lived experiences and memories separate from my own.

• We all share one body like roommates share an apartment space

• My alters are a result of trauma I experienced during my life. Each of us hold our share of trauma so imaging trauma is sandbags instead of 1 person holding 100 pounds of sand we have given 25 pounds of sand to 4 alters. Which is much more manageable.

• My alters including me were shaped from the environment they came from

· Alters also share an inner world where they can interact with one another. This also a place where I can easily my identity and how I view myself internally.

Some others fun things about me is I have some mild psychotic symptoms. Since I’m in my early 20’s they’re pretty manageable at the moment I am always keeping an eye out for them worsening though. These things include hallucinations visual, auditory, touch, smell, taste. I also have a weird mix of beliefs that can mix into delusion territory but aren’t damaging to my life and therefore cant really place a good label on them. So I consider them delusional like but not the same experience as a true delusion I believe I could very much be wrong.

my first identity shift was when I was a child about 3 years old was the first time me as an alter became prominently separate from our host. It was apparently at that time I was non human and a hyena. I looked like a hyena from lion king roughly no character in particular and acted as a companion/ friend.

When I got a bit older at 4-5 my identity shifted once I moved and left behind some family. I changed from a hyena to a pokemon. If I could guess I would say due to a pokemons inherent loyalty. My identity became a mightyena a wolfish hyena basically and the codependency that pokemon carry also carried over.

I was depended on to be support for our host and to take care of them as a friend and caretaker. We experienced neglect at the time and this was reflected with my identity. I was a creature that was supposed to stay with someone forever basically giving a comfort we were missing to our host so they could continue functioning. I would say my identity changes based on my environment and is sensitive to my environment all the time

depending on what I experience I see myself change and adapt because of how sensitive we are as a system trying to adapt in the world around us. I often think if my identity isn’t shifting a little it might be a sign of trouble and us shutting down being unable to adapt and change.

When I was 5-6 it changed to its own species a threatening wolf. Which it stayed until a few months ago. My identity as a threatening wolf changed a lot I had spikes then got a sword tail then was able to breathe fire, my size would shift and change, my tail length and ability to move it would change. Teeth, eye color, would all change depending on my environment. For example when I was deep in abuse with my ex I gained the ability to breathe fire suddenly as a needed adaption to scare them away. My eyes turned red to look scarier. I got bigger. This all happened internally as my ex was able to interact within our system in our inner world. Which is a terrible idea by the way don’t be an idiot like me. Which was why I needed to look scarier as a way of protection

Lately I have been healing from trauma and now that my ex is gone so is a lot of pressure to defend myself so I turned back into a mightyena which is much more defenseless but much truer to how I see myself in a safe space. Im sure if trauma happened again I would shift back to a threatening wolf as a means for protection. When it comes to plurality labels I fall under protector and host we are pretty integrated though so we have grown out of most typical labels due to how functional each of us are now.

This concept of a changing identity is taboo in otherkin communities

usually we are lead to believe when we were kids we have always been one strict animal for our whole lives and just now learning about it. this animal never changes it is static unchanging and we simply learn about it as we grow up. My experience has been wholly different. My animal and my identity changes based on my environment it can be subtle or drastic. I never evoke or ask for the changes they simply happen and I have to adapt to the new way I see myself. Trying to apply my identity to the common otherkin rhetoric gave me a lot of grief as a teenager

when I was about 13 because I would discover something about myself say breathing fire or growing in size and be ashamed because I knew these changes were not “typical”

as an aside I think this notion that my experience is atypical is also false. I think this is fairly common but a lot of otherkin just handle it in a way that flows with the static concept where we learn we have a new kin type but still also have the old one, we learn something about our kin type that totally shifts it but connect it back to our old kin type, we find new features, personality traits or experiences that now define our kintype that were never there before and newly discovered

Otherkinity is about self discovery and how it’s essentially chasing a dragon. Literally. We will never fully know our internal identity no matter how closely we look into it. there is so much that we learn and how to weave into our identity otherkintiy is as much of an art as it is a science when it comes to self reflection. It’s just like any other aspect of ourselves we can create labels for our sexuality and they work but they don’t capture 100% of what you experience theyre a short hand for others. I find that otherkinity is this concept on steroids. I find my identity to be a much larger part as it impacts everything including my sexuality it is more prominent for me so trying to put it under labels becomes increasingly difficult.

How are we supposed to create a short hand for who we are? All of those moving pieces inside of us that shape our perspective, experiences, how we interact with people, how we love people, how we go through day to day life, and we are supposed to just say something like “bear therian” what if it changes? What if we have quirks that our outside of this label? When I first joined the otherkin community it was pretty frowned upon to change your identity. You had to be a wolf therian, you had to be a dragonkin. Once you picked a label that was it. your locking into your identity if you didn’t you weren’t taken seriously.

Ableism in the otherkin community

I question as well if this correlation between identity stability and maturity/credibility is ableism. Usually I noticed when I first join the therian and otherkin community there was a push for “not looking crazy” so as to not get bullied further for identities. I’m sure anyone in the LGBT community knows trying to please people making fun of you really doesn’t work. There is a prominent fear of seeming to outsiders as if were roleplaying or kinning for fun which seems to be a whole other topic in and of itself. My personal experience has lead me to the conclusion that these people are going to come at you regardless of how often you shift your identity, how seriously or goofy you take it, how analytical you are with your identity whether you write essays or one sentence it does not change the views of outsiders.

Endels, clinical lycanthropes, and other nonhumans who have mental illness-based identities face a similar ableism. It wasn’t until earlier this year, 2021, when the connection between mental illness and nonhumanity was finally accepted by the greater community. But even still, Endelic communities are more often treated as a novelty; not something to be taken seriously as an identity, just something “interesting.” Mental illness, especially psychotic disorders, aren’t pretty or tame, and the greater nonhuman community appears to subtly enforce this stigma. Werewolves are monsters, and the greater community spares no feelings in reminding us of this, with such unwelcome words my friend babydog’s met as and I paraphrase a quote here from my friend baby dog “you’re welcome here, but you should expect people to uncomfortable about your identity as an endel or question your endelity. I dont personally believe people like you should be part of alterhuman communities.” End quote Many of those who are part of the greater alterhuman community are still concerned about respectability politics, how we appear to outsiders, rather than being concerned about how inner-community members are finding their welcome. Arguments like “But, clinical lycanthropy was previously used as ammunition against all Otherkin! We’re playing into anti-kin’s stereotypes!” isn’t an excuse anymore, because throwing your own community under the bus isn’t acceptable anymore. We want a higher standard in this community than being driven by shame that makes us hide members of our own community. It’s much better to stand with them.

Lets also take a moment to acknowledge these actions stemmed from an act of seeming more credible and not “crazy”. I’d like to say also that the stereotype of crazy doesn’t exist when we think of crazy we think of someone whose mentally Ill and struggling to function. In reality these people have an untreated mental illness or going through an episode that’s only one aspect of a person. They do other things with their life including myself. I write poems and go out with friends but if someone only judged me at my worst and lowest I would fit into this “crazy” stereotype. Its not fair for us to judge people based on actions they cant control. Based on trauma or brain chemistry people are more than that I think can agree.

we should be understanding with these people treating them as whole people not just one descriptor. crazy is really just a derogatory name for someone with a mental illness. So to avoid being crazy means to avoid any signs of neurodiversity people view as abnormal. Or signs of nonconformity with nuerotypicals

-endels still face ableism typically in the form of being treated like a novelty and not really being taken seriously. Endels are still getting called interesting a lot) and it makes them feel like a specimen within their own community. I’m sure those who suffer from mental illness understand how degrading it is to be looked at as some sort of test subject or lab rat. I think as a community we can do better and be more accepting and open to all forms of otherkinity. Shutting down this kinda of language would be great for endel otherkin.

-endels are still having to deal with other community members who use psychotic/delusional/etc as insults or jokey words. These words are derogatory and insulting they shouldn’t be said as insults or jokes there are plenty of other words that could be used and it pushes endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms away from the larger community. Using this language shows an ignorance to the ableism still alive and active towards endels.

-none of this helps internalized ableism!! All the actions described above only reinforce internalized ablism. This creates a combative and toxic environment for endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms. It would be in our best interest as a community to help bring down ableism and be more aware of what were saying and to who.

Some things to keep in mind

-treating psychotics like they cant make their own choices is not ok/ thinking for them

-insults and jokes using derogatory language is triggering and alienating

-treating psychotics as lab rats or something to gauk at as “interesting” is demoralizing and takes away someones individual power as a person. Its hard to have an identity and a voice if everyone is busy staring at you like a lab rat.

What about the internal side of the otherkin community? I found when I was apart of the therian community this was a more prominent problem and still is in some corners I wander into. Otherkinity also holds some ableist views but from what I’ve seen not to the same intensity as therian communities. This I would say is a cultural difference from a new age of therians that took over the internet, p-shifting cults, wolf packs, and some forums for therians were intense I know previously therians and otherkin identities didn’t have to much of a difference besides animalistic tendencies or a way to further define an identity. Once this shift happened it became more so about earthly creatures or animals based on earth. earth mythics, animals that exist present day and extinct, and plants as well. I’m not an expert of the history of otherkin and therians so I would direct you to house of chimeras and who is page for more information over it gladly. If im wrong please correct me. That’s my understanding. This shift to earthly animals also carried a sentiment or notion of being more “real” than otherkin that I often experienced in the wolf packs and forums. Since they’re identities were based on “real” animals it made them more valid otherkin. An easy question I asked often or others would ask was a simple “why?” and the response I experienced a lot was “so were more credible/ don’t seem crazy” this was 8-9 years ago which was at the time the height of otherkin hate. It came across as a borderline phobia to be seen as an antikin steriotypes which were ableist stereotypes to begin with. some of these communities in reaction created ridged and strict cultures of how to be therian. This would leave an imprint on many people including myself.

so that was 8-9 years ago why do I bring it up? Because I still see this sentiment present just subtle.

Some things I feel were carried over is: Overly present and specific about kin types, an obsession with details and intricacies to a degree where its no longer beneficial to learn, embarrassed or shamed for certain kin types, a focal point on kin type tendencies and ignoring or pushing aside human experiences to further pronounce a kin type. A fixation on the past and not taking into account of the present, always centering around the past. I would say these behaviors in the community were influenced from the wolf pack cultural shift.

These are a remanent set of reactions from a more intense time of grilling, questioning and if validity was questioned your title could be easily taken away in close knit communities. I think the otherkin community still has some skeletons in the closet so to speak of a more intense time that a lot of members endured and witnessed. We passed on this culture, myself included as we grew up cause its how we learned to present our otherkinity. We can unlearn though and I think it’s time to push for more freedom and new ways to take on otherkinity. a larger problem I see is a fixation with the past which once it gets to a certain point I don’t think can be constructive or healthy. Exploring your past is good, gaining context for your actions and your background is good, but living in the past is not healthy. Reshaping how you live in the present by escaping to the past isn’t really healthy. I find it worrying how common it is for otherkin to not tie their humanity and the present to their identity. It hurts to say, it can be uncomfortable but being human is apart of our experience. Now my therapists always say “never damn a coping skill” if looking to the past and living in the past finds you comfort and it keeps you stable that’s ultimately a good thing your staying stable and keeps you functioning. I urge though for people to start to take the time to explore humanity with our otherkin identities and living more in the present. How your identity effects you right now. How people interact with you and what you can do to tie your otherkinity to the physical world to the present. I think it’s a balancing act ultimately trying to find a sweet spot between the past and the present. Not completely ignoring your past and only staying in the present or only living in the past and neglecting the present. Its not easy and something im actively working on myself.

I want to highlight the present cultural imprint the wolf pack phase in present day otherkin communties and how new otherkin members seeing and reacting to it. we as older members may not realize how impactful our words are and may not notice us carrying an imprint of the past with us. Here some quotes I picked up. I asked a few friends their experiences who had come as otherkin in the past 6 months. I was also able to get 1 anecdote anon from my tumblr after sending out a request earlier today they are also pretty recent. Here what they had to say. These are all anonymous.

“(tumblr)My experience was pretty good! The community is super open and friendly, or at least the side of it I'm on (idk about the fictionkin side of it which might be more controversial/full of discourse).

It was easy to get into which is good because I was super scared about it 😅” “(friend) the whole community is

scary, for me at least, mostly because some of the older grey muzzles seem really intimidating and cliquey

the discord group im in seems like really cool to me, they are all super nice and helpful but the rest of the community is super scary for me”

“(friend) [when asked about getting into the community] it's weird to me, it really is.

I've spent a good chunk of time just like

wondering what it could possibly mean to be "valid" otherkin

like, who's judgement is that? mine?”

My Take on otherkinity

Im telling my story because my mental illness causes me to fall into an undesired or taboo identity categories or stereotypes of otherkin often. I find instability, identities that are less material or easily relatable, signs of mental illness with otherkinity. Are swept under the rug. I’d like to change that and show that instability, less relatable, highly specific or vague identities are just as valid. My experiences can be something of an uncomfortable truth for some that otherkin can be cringy or be easier to target from outsiders. I ask to everyone that has some reservations about accepting more diverse identities to consider how beneficial these new perspectives bring to our community. These identities give a perspective and voice we are missing and is needed. It’s beneficial for our community to be heard fully so we can support and help everyone. Endels may have a perspective other therians/otherkin may not have considered before. the wider range of experiences about our community that we share the better. It gives us the tools to make the community even stronger.

I would say overall psychological kin are extremely diverse and no experience is going to be the same. Its difficult at best to say anything that all psychological kin experience because the definition is so broad. We all have unique and diverse stories and I’d like to encourage everyone to share them even if they show mental illness. Things like Delusions, trauma responses, trauma sourced, episodes and regression. I would love to see more inclusivity for the messier and less understood part of psychological kin.

So lets get into some of my specific experiences. my identity is messy at the moment as my brain seems to have an interesting understanding of what a mightyena is. It has 2 images instead of one

These two images are houndoom and mightyena. Both of them I see myself as but are the same entity. My brain cant see the difference between the two as an identity at the moment. So theyre both “mightyena” its quirks like this that I think should be seen as more acceptable in the community because its messy at best. It has made me on several occasions go “that makes 0 sense” but from a trauma stand point it doesn’t surprise me

my brain has trouble picking only one. If my 5 year old or 3 year old brain attached itself to both images and called them the same then well that’s it im both of them at once. Brains don’t tend to work very logically and while it sounds confusing I would say it probably feels similar to having 2 kin types active at once. The two identities don’t blend (ie mightyena wolf hyena doesn’t breathe fire while houndoom does. ) I experience a range of both identities at once. They’re both mightyena it just so happens that image that’s associated with houndoom is present when something happens that only that pokemon could do or associated feelings or states. I would say theyre 2 different kin types except if I say I have a houndoom kin type I don’t think of anything and don’t feel anything. When I say I have a mightyena kin type I have images and feelings from both. They also cant seem to be separated both images and associations need the other. Its interesting. Its very funky. The wonderful world of trauma. Could probably make anew label for that but that’s alright im not one for labels.

I experience something I call m-shifting which is really animal regression. It’s called m shifting because I was previously in an p-shifting cult where it developed it. it’s uncontrollable but I can start it or trigger it if I want to. When I go into an m-shift I cant understand English, read English, walk on two legs well, speak, or know basic things most people would know. My brain goes into instincts and impulses. I don’t think critically or contemplate much. My thoughts are in images and feelings. Its fun. But its difficult to control, I find it’s a way for me to relieve stress in excess when I cant seem to find a good outlet for it. this is part of my identity is what makes me relate to the werewolf community so much since its involuntary and frowned upon generally to greater society .(aka internalized ableism) One of my biggest fears is shifting in public or with friends. It’s hard on me for sure.

Another thing that effects me is coping linking as someone who deals with trauma I have found lately I’m starting to create involuntary coping links. I had a brief coping link as a sled dog its purpose was the personality of a sled dog was something I needed to be at the moment to stay functional and coherent once I learned to do that without my coping link it went away. I notice myself having brief coping links on and off each of them usually teach me something or a skill I couldn’t fully understand yet.

I experience false memories. My memories change depending on my identity. I don’t force or make them change they simply do.

they hold the same narrative throughout all the changes though. The narrative from what I understand seems to be a re telling of my trauma. My false memories don’t seem to be a major part of my identity and I think I may have them simply because of p-shifting cult trauma and the pressure to have a past life or noemata. I think my false memories are a way to retell my trauma in a form that gives me validation as an animal. I do know seeing myself as human in memories is inherently triggering for me as I cant recognize myself so a set of false memories that lets me see myself in those situations as an animal is comforting and validating. It helps me evaluate my trauma better and understand why I feel the way I do about trauma. A dog that looses its molars would be distraught while a human doesn’t really care if they get wisdom teeth removed. Evaluating trauma through an animalstic lens has helped me immensely. I’ve noticed the more I evaluate and see my trauma through an animal lens the weaker my false memories become and I think that’s neat.

My perspective of the world also changes as my identity shifts

I see the world differently as a mightyena than I do as a threatening wolf. Objects, people, environments and habitats have different meanings to me and associations according to shifts and how my identity changes. These associations and meanings are ones that either I had when I was a child, or ones I repressed due to being childish or something I didn’t see as acceptable at the time. So my identity now has a wider range of perspective. My threatening wolf perspective toned down a lot and let the repressed associations and meanings take a more dominant role.

Another thing that effects my otherkinity is when it comes to species dysphoria I would say it’s a large factor in how I experience otherkinity. I would say my otherkintiy is something very based in the present. I don’t think about my kintypes past, I don’t think about its future or let my mind wander off a lot about whats going on with it. I am usually observing it in the present moment. A big part of that is my species dysphoria which tells me a lot about what I am. I’m trans female to male though that’s debatable as im considering a gender to my kintype. Human gender dysphoria is something that bothers me a decent amount. What has sent me to therapy though is species dysphoria. It is unbearable for me. I have fangs, a tail, a collar, wolfsbane pendant for mythology about werewolves, pointed nails, short hair thicker hair to resemble my kin type. I had to learn how to make animal vocalizations like growling, snarling, whimpering because I felt incredibly stressed being unable to emote properly. I learned to walk on all fours and run as well. I learned to play and move like an animal mostly from m shifting but it helps immensely. Getting on T has helped a lot as I got furrier, deeper voice, thicker hair, generally able to gain muscle better. Overall has helped my species dysphoria. Its something I’ve always had that brings me immense discomfort. I’m planning to make a prosthetic muzzle to wear and possibly some ears.

This dysphoria is apparent when you see me on the street cause im wearing a collar, tail everything I can’t hide my otherkinity because it triggers my species dysphoria to much to hide it so I just have to roll with it. the census? Its really not that bad being out or showing im otherkin. It’s a good conversation starter and most people are friendly about it here which has been nice. I do get asked if im a furry I usually say yes just cause I don’t feel like explaining otherkinity. If someone asks why I usually just say I see myself as an animal. Responses are mixed but people are polite about it. wearing gear makes me feel much more grounded in where I stand with my identity. I noticed a feel much more confident about myself when I am being myself unabashedly. Who knew. Also planning to get some combat boots and add some spikes to them to imitate claws. Should be fun.

Heading back to my weird quirks and otherkinity experience Phantom shifts are something I experience all the time 24/7. In part due to p-shifting cult and also a way to manage my species dysphoria. It’s pretty intense for me and its something I find comfort in and encourage. It’s a way for me to find the world more relatable. Often these shifts calm me down and make it easier for me to navigate the world. I would say my phantom shifts only effects parts of my body im aware of not my entire body all the time. Rather whatever body parts im using. It also does its best to not have any “clipping” through objects and my shift may phase out if there may be clipping to a body part im aware of.

Lastly My gender and sexuality I would say tie to my kintype as well. Im attracted to otherkin moreso than humans. I really like animalistic aspects to people and traits I see in my kintype in other people. I find I get along best with canine kintypes. My gender im realizing is more so tied heavily to my kintype I want to be a male mightyena whatever that entails and it plays closely with my species dysphoria. I find when I relieve my species dysphoria I tend to also relieve a bit of my gender dysphoria to. I say im ftm as a short hand because that’s what my kintypes gender seems to line up with the most. Though I think that will be less and less the case as I start wearing things like a prosthetic muzzle which is pretty animal gender to me.

Therapy and Otherkinity

On this topic I would like to talk about how therapy and otherkinity interact cause that’s something central to this panel. For me I always noticed that when I am given analogies in therapy they are always about an inner child, how I was as a human kid, how I am as an adult. These things are good but they lack the context of me as a whole. I am not just a human I am an animal in a human body which changes a lot in how I’ve had to take care of myself and apply advice given to me by professionals. For one I always have to tell professionals im otherkin and what that entails. That it isn’t a hobby or one aspect of me but something that impacts my entire perspective. Methods of self soothing just wont work for me if I don’t change some wording around. There is no inner child for me personally theres a puppy and a puppy seeks out an entirely different sets of behaviors, emotions, and emotes/ way of communication than an inner child would. You would be able to talk to an inner child hug them and act as a type of parent to them. With a puppy I tend to act more as an owner or an animal parent depending on whats needed.as an owner i have to bridge the communication gap with things like chew toys, petting, dark cozy places, brushing or grooming, non verbal communication

which plays a much larger part in my healing process than what I read or what methods im taught. As an owner to myself I have to learn to take care of my inner puppy the way I needed which can be difficult when no one you know has to follow that method. As an animal parent I also have to act as I am, an animal to my inner puppy that’s what we both understand the common language we speak is non human and is critical to my healing. I find protecting my inner puppy as an animal parent gives me a larger sense of catharsis it feels like something I can finally understand however the methods don��t translate well to the real world. I cant just snarl at people I have to talk to them in a disagreement. I cant go hunting I have to go shopping. Which is why having both an owner and an animal parent.

Both are important because both aspects cant be ignored and need to be used in tandem.

Healing for me when it comes to trauma involves a lot of balancing between my human life and my animalistic needs which is something I have had to do and explain to therapists the difficulties of doing so. I notice most therapists I have met cant seem to grasp this and see otherkinity as more of a metaphor than an identity. I noticed a lot of my therapists would just change metaphors to talk to me instead of reshaping a technique for healing which has caused a lot of problems. An example I can think off the top of my head is instead of “a family sticks together” may be “a wolf pack sticks together” which is helpful sometimes but if it’s the only change it becomes detrimental to me. Often because while not intentional I think a lot of therapies are human-centric. There is an assumption you are human in order to apply the coping techniques or healing strategies. This lead to me unintentionally repressing a larger chunk of my otherkinity just because I was applying these skills without changing anything. Sometimes present day I still fall into this and notice it triggers my species dysphoria to worsen. It can be difficult to spot for me as well because otherkinity is so uncommon no one else is having the same issue in my real life friend groups. So I assume whatever im doing must be ok cause it seems to work ok for everyone else. Which ends up not being the case.

A solution I’ve found to help with this is for one explaining as I go with a therapist what is and is not working. I have to be an advocate for myself and teach them as well what I like and what works and what doesn’t. I try my best to let them know when something they do is detrimental. I also try to explain what brings me comfort and what doesn’t. a nice talk isn’t going to help my puppy self but a hug would. Things like that. When it comes to internal imagery some therapists use I know stating to them youd like them to consider your kintype as yourself has helped me by them not seeing me as a fully human being or just my irl body. overall I hope this talk has helped some people. Given some new perspectives. And I am happy or reiterate some topics I went over. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#long post #it was 11 pages #im so sorry #otherkin #therian #fictionkin #psychologicalkin

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nikki-writes-stuff · 4 years

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Pairing: Sith!Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!Reader

Summary: After being captured by the infamous Darth Valor on a mission, you find yourself completely at the mercy of a Sith Lord who’s determined to seduce you to the Dark Side.

A/N: Hey, friends! SO, fun story, while I was in college, I had this fanfic called Struggling Against Me, and it was my first ever Sith!Obi-Wan reader insert. In that story, Obi-Wan’s Sith name is Darth Valor, and since it’s still my most popular fic on Ao3, I thought I’d revisit his character, only this time he’s even darker. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you’d be interested in more Darth Valor stories. :)

Warning: This fic contains non-con, rape, and dub-con, along with general force fuckery. Read at your own risk! And enjoy, if you’re into that sort of thing (like yours truly).

Sweat was trickling down the back of your neck, and you shivered as it trailed down your spine. You didn’t know where you were; you had woken up blindfolded, naked, and alone hours ago. You’d called out until your voice was hoarse, but it had been of no use; no one had answered you, and you could sense no life forms within the force.

After overcoming the initial shock, you’d managed to calm down enough to assess your surroundings; from the low humming throbbing consistently through the air, you could tell that you were on a star ship. Your hands were bound in handcuffs behind your back, and while your connection to the force hadn’t been completely severed, the fact that you couldn’t use it to remove your bonds told you that they were made out of some sort of force-suppressant material.

The floor beneath you was cold and hard, clearly made out of metal, and you shivered as you drew yourself first up onto your knees, and then to your feet. Your head was pounding as you hesitantly took a step forward, then another, until you were walking blindly in a straight line. After a few seconds of stumbling, you bumped into a steel wall, and you turned and began trudging forward again.

You encountered no furniture as you walked the perimeter of the room, and you estimated that the space you were in was about the size of one of the bathrooms back at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. You felt a flash of panic well up within you; did your fellow Jedi know where you were?

From somewhere close, you heard the whoosh of a door opening followed by slow, steady footsteps. The door slid shut behind whoever it was who’d just entered your cell, and for a moment, the room was completely silent, save for the sound of your own breathing. And then, a voice.

“Hello, there.”

You bit your lip to stop it from trembling as you futilely reached into the force; but, no matter how hard you searched, you still could sense no nearby lifeforms.

“Don’t embarrass yourself, love,” the man chuckled, this time from right in front of you. “You will not find my force signature if I don’t want you to.”

You jerked backwards, tripping over your own feet until your back collided roughly with a wall. You leaned against it heavily, trying to steady your breathing as whoever it was strode towards you.

“Tell me, Padawan,” he murmured, “what is your name?”

You remained silent, your instincts screaming at you that something was off about this man. You’d never felt the force react this way to a presence before; it was as if it were holding its breath, waiting in eager anticipation for whatever was about to happen next.

“Come now, young one,” he purred, and you whimpered as you felt warm breath fan over your face. “There’s no harm in telling me your name, now is there?”

Warm fingertips grazed your cheek, and your body jolted so hard that your teeth clattered together. A warm chuckle sounded from right in front of you, and you shrunk back as another hand came to rest on your bare hip.

“Would it help,” he whispered, “if I told you mine?”

A presence prodded at your mind, and your lips parted in shock as you finally caught a glimpse of his force presence. And what you sensed…terrified you.

You’d never felt a darkness so profound, but you’d felt something close to it once. Once, only a few months after Mace Windu had taken you on as his padawan, you’d been sent on a mission to Bal’demnic, and you’d gone with your master to a village that had been built at the top of the planet’s highest cliff. The village chief had offered a room in his own home for the two of you to stay in, and when you first discovered that his house had been built right into the side of the cliff, you’d been charmed.

But the first night you stayed there, you’d had trouble sleeping, and you decided to meditate on the balcony until your thoughts settled down. Or, rather, that had been your original idea. But after taking one look over the side of the balcony under the black of night, you’d gone retreating back to your bed, trying to dispel the feeling of vertigo that had suddenly overtaken your senses.

Now, as the Sith’s presence pressed against yours, you were reminded of the overwhelming darkness that you’d seen over the edge of that cliff. It was total, absolute, and you shivered as tendrils of it started tapping at your mental walls, curiously seeking entry within.

“My name,” he whispered, lips pressed against your ear, “is Darth Valor. But you Jedi once knew me by another name.”

It was as if someone had poured ice water down your back; no, it couldn’t be. Anxiety swelled in your chest until you felt as if you would choke on it, and you were vaguely aware that your hands were starting to shake. It couldn’t be.

“…Obi-Wan Kenobi,” you breathed, uttering the name under your breath.

The Council had never confirmed it, but it had been a rumor among the ranks of the Jedi for years. Obi-Wan Kenobi had been a legend ever since he’d battled Darth Maul and won, managing to save the life of his master Qui-Gon Jinn in the process. You’d only been 15 at the time, but you could still remember the excitement he’d caused. He’d been the first person in a thousand years to kill a Sith, and the Council had even allowed him to bypass his trials, leading to him being knighted that very same week.

From there, Qui-Gon Jinn had moved on to train young Anakin Skywalker, and Kenobi had immediately been thrown into knighthood. But something happened just a year later; the young Jedi suddenly vanished while he was out on a mission, leaving no trace behind, no clue as to what could have happened to him.

For many years, it was widely accepted that he’d died in a tragic accident, but recently, sightings of a new Sith Lord had occurred with increasing frequency. More and more Jedi were claiming to see a man who called himself Darth Valor on the battlefield, and those who were able to remember Obi-Wan claimed that he looked just like him.

And, as you felt fingers slip into your hair and untie the cloth covering your eyes, you soon discovered that they had been right. After blinking to adjust to the sudden influx of light, you saw standing in front of you the living legend you’d heard so much about.

He had grown a beard since you’d seen him last, and his hair was longer, curling just below his ears in gentle waves, but there was no denying that he was the man who’d once been a padawan, just like you. His eyes were far from the crystalline blue they used to be, though; they were now an unnatural, sickly gold, and as he leaned closer to you, you could just barely make out a ring of crimson bordering his pupils.

A smirk twisted his lips as he regarded you, and you suddenly became acutely aware of your nakedness. He was draped in yards of burgundy and black fabric, coming together in a luxurious look that vaguely resembled Jedi robes, and you, by comparison, were completely bare, save for the handcuffs keeping your hands secured against the small of your back.

“Now, then,” he sighed, one of his hands coming back up to your cheek, “I’ve told you my name. It’s only fair that you tell me yours.”

You gulped, and though your trembling lips formed the shape of your name, no noise left your throat. A wicked grin curled over Valor’s features, and he arched an eyebrow as he leaned over you, his cloak brushing against your nipples, already hard from the cold.

“Cat got your tongue, sweet one?” he purred, and you clenched your hands hard enough to feel the bite of your nails against your palm’s flesh.

After taking a deep breath, you finally managed to murmur your name under your breath in stilted syllables, hoping that it would at least get the man to back off. But, instead, he only repeated your name, managing to make it sound like something scandalous as he pronounced it in his velvety tone. You noticed that his breath smelled of cigarettes and whiskey, but the scent managed to blend well with the spicy cologne he was wearing. He smiled, tilting his head to the side and letting his eyes trail over your face, down to your body, and then back up to your own gaze once again.

You shifted on your feet and pressed your thighs together so hard that they shook from how tight your muscles were drawn. His presence was slowly starting to wrap around yours, and it was growing more and more insistent to be let in. You felt him testing your mental walls, as if he were searching them for a weak spot. The strain of keeping him out was already making you tremble, and yet he didn’t look like he was breaking a sweat. In fact, he gave you a smile that could only be described as pitying before he parted his lips to speak.

“Well, young one,” he sighed, “today really isn’t your day.”

With that, the tendrils wrapped around your brain suddenly thrust into your mind, burrowing into your subconscious and crumpling your shields like they were made out of tissue paper. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened in a silent scream as the Sith invaded every one of your senses, pillaging every memory, every emotion, every fleeting thought he encountered along the way.

Your eyes stared ahead as he held you in place, pressing his forehead against yours. The fog of his presence settled over your mind, slowly and steadily learning your insides and outs as you stood defenseless to stop it.

Why? That was the one thought that continued to echo through your head even as he ransacked your mind. Why is he doing this? Why is this happening to me? And you gasped in shock when the fog parted just enough to show you the answer.

Just as Valor was reading your memories, so too did he allow you read one of his during this forced meld of your minds. You were almost too dazed, too stunned by the horror of what was transpiring to notice it, but it was as if something from inside of Valor’s force signature had seized you by the wrist and pulled you towards it. Mechanically, you allowed it to drawn you in, closing your eyes to better visualize what he was projecting.

You watched, as if in a stupor, through eyes that were not your own as Valor knelt in front of a figure clad in black. You blinked when he blinked, and when he spoke, it was as if he did so with your own vocal cords.

“I believe I have found an apprentice, my master,” he intoned, bowing his head in a show of respect. Footsteps grew closer, and even though you were only experiencing it through a memory, the force signature of the man in the black cloak struck you to the bone. From somewhere far away, you could feel a tear start to fall down your face before a hand brushed it away. More fell to take its place, though, as you heard the Master Sith speak.

“Good…” You shivered; the sound of his voice made you feel like ants were crawling under your skin. “Are they strong?”

“She will be,” the apprentice replied. “She’s being trained by the Jedi now, but soon, she’ll be sent on a mission with her master that will leave her…vulnerable.”

“A padawan, you say. How old?”

“Only two years younger than I was when you first accepted me under your tutelage, Master.”

“Hm…”

You felt a spike of fear as the creature considered Valor’s words, but you realized with a start that it hadn’t come from you. No, it was part of the apprentice Sith’s memories; Kenobi was nearly as terrified of his own master as you were of him. The realization did nothing to quell your growing anxiety as the rest of the memory played out behind your closed eyelids.

“Acquire the girl and test her first,” the master finally replied. “See if she is strong enough to withstand the training in whatever way you see fit.”

In the vision, the Sith stepped closer to Valor, giving him just enough of a vantage point to see a pale chin and a thin pair of lips. They slowly twitched upwards, forming into an imitation of a smile as he considered his student, and as he spoke, you caught glimpses of his crooked, yellowed teeth.

“If she fails, leave her body at the Jedi temple steps and start looking for another,” he ordered. “It is time you make yourself known to the Jedi as a Sith Lord; you will need an apprentice as we draw ever closer to our goal.”

With that, the vision dispersed, and once again you opened your eyes to find Valor staring down at you. His presence was still exploring, still twisting and turning and writhing through your skull, but now you understood. Your heart sank with the realization that you were the padawan he’d spoken about in his memory, that this must be the test his master had spoken about.

“Oh, no, my darling,” he suddenly chuckled. His hand slipped into your hair, finding your padawan braid and taking hold of it in his fist. “The test hasn’t even started yet. This is just an introduction.”

With that, he took a step backwards, pulling you to him by your braid. Wincing at the yank of your hair, you stumbled forward, head spinning with the effort of piloting your body while Valor still had a chokehold on your consciousness.

“Kneel,” he commanded, arching an eyebrow. Dumbly, you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to search through your memories to remember what that word meant. You swayed in place, eyelids suddenly struggling to stay open, and a voice inside of you whispered that it would be much better to just go to sleep right now. You lazily considered that thought; it would be so nice to just close your eyes, relax your muscles, tune out all of your fears…

You heard the crack of Valor’s palm meeting your cheek before you felt it, but the sting it left behind was fierce as your eyes snapped open once again. Your lips parted in shock as you gaped up at the man standing before you; you’d been shot at, punched at, lunged at, and stabbed at over the course of your career as a Jedi learner, but no one had ever slapped you before. You didn’t even know how you were supposed to feel after being slapped, but you felt the sting of tears behind your eyes, nonetheless.

“I said kneel, apprentice,” Valor repeated. “You’ll find that I will not give you the luxury of an easy way out of this; focus. I won’t have you passing out on me.”

Numbly, you dropped to your knees in front of him, wincing at the bite of the metal floor beneath them. Approval was sent to you in a gentle wave through the force, and its softness surprised you; it had been the first relief you’d felt since waking up in this strange place.

“Don’t be so surprised,” the Sith chuckled, reaching down to stroke your hair. “Obedience should be met with acknowledgement and approval; even big, bad Sith know that.”

He grinned, tilting your chin up so he could see your face clearly. His thumb traced the shape of your lower lip, and a large part of you wanted to pull away from his touch, wanted to push him away and scrub clean every inch of skin that he’d come in contact with. But your fear was too great, especially after receiving that slap from him, and you were as good as paralyzed as he continued speaking.

“You know what your options are, padawan,” he intoned, sneering as if your title were an insult. “Either submit to me, to the Dark Side, or…”

He trailed off, and in that moment your eyes fell forward, immediately focusing on the lightsaber strapped to his belt. It was only a weapon; every force-user built their own lightsaber from scratch, and so you knew that it was only a device made of screws and bolts, metal and crystal. But, in that moment, you knew that this lightsaber was more than all that. The kyber crystal at the heart of Valor’s saber seemed to pulse with its own energy, its own presence, and you instinctively knew that Jedi lives had been ended at its hand.

And chances were that very soon, yours could be added to their number.

“Well. I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if you fail,” he finished.

He let that sink in for a moment, reading your features to make sure you realized the gravity of your situation. You gulped, feeling a surge of anger well up inside of you despite your years of Jedi training. You couldn’t help but want to scream in his face that you were already well aware that you were fucked; he didn’t need to gloat about it. He smirked, opening his mouth to say something, but the words died on his tongue. He paused, furrowing his eyebrows, and slowly shut his mouth; you felt something in the back of your mind prod at a memory, distant and far-off, and your head lurched when he suddenly focused in on it.

“What do we have here…?”

Realization dawned on you as soon as you caught a glimpse of what he was making you recall, and you shook your head, scrambling to your feet and backing away as you tried to push the memory back into your subconscious. But you might as well have tried to move a brick wall with nothing but your bare hands; batting away your attempts with ease, Kenobi watched the memory unfold, his force presence practically humming with delight.

It happened when you were sixteen – too young to have been exposed to such things. Your master, you, and a young Jedi knight named Tabytha had been assigned to capture the leader of a small group of terrorists on a planet called Mandalore. Mandalore had needed the Jedi’s help many times in the years before, during, and after its civil war; the Jedi had almost grown accustomed to being summoned there to help, and so your master had been confident in the ability of the three of you to take down the small group of insurgents. Tabytha had been on assignments with you and your master before, and you’d grown to be close friends with her, despite your differences in age. She was like a second mentor to you, and she and Mace worked so well with one another that you’d always wondered if there was something more between them than they were letting on.

But despite how successful the three of you had been during past missions, your luck ran out on Mandalore. Your master had greatly underestimated their numbers and their weaponry, and it was his mistake that, in the end, led to Tabytha’s death.

You’d come so close to winning that day; you’d taken care of most of the warriors already, and you were closing in on their leader when the sniper took you off guard. It happened in the blink of an eye; one moment, Tabytha was alive, her force signature shining bright with optimism, with hope, with the thrill of the fight. But in the next, she was gone.

And your master hadn’t even turned around to look; the only sign that he’d felt her death at all was a slight waver in his step. But it hardly even slowed him down as he continued towards the kingpin. It was the cold thing to do, but it was also the Jedi thing to do – setting aside personal feelings and focusing on the needs of the many. You should have been proud of your master for his strict obedience of the code.

But instead, it had enraged you.

“Oh, dear,” Valor remarked, snapping you back to the present. “That poor sniper. You certainly didn’t need to cut off both of his arms, love-“

“Stop,” you whispered, pleading him with your eyes, with your mind. “Please, stop-“

“No,” he interrupted, his voice cold, suddenly devoid of any warmth or humor. “Remember it. Remember what your first brush with the dark side felt like.”

You shook your head, resisting the pull as he tried to draw you back into the memory. You’d pressed yourself against the wall, but an invisible force suddenly latched onto your body; you gasped as your feet left the ground, feeling your stomach lurch as you started floating towards him. You thrashed, straining to fight against the grip he had on you, but it accomplished nothing, save for bringing an amused grin to Valor’s face.

“Charming.”

In an instant, he flooded your mind with what you’d felt all those years ago, except it was now intensified tenfold. The grief of losing Tabytha hit you first, forcing a choked sob to escape your lips as you closed your eyes, only to find the sight of her corpse waiting there for you. You stared into her sightless eyes as tears spilled out of your own, and it was then that the guilt came swooping in.

“It should have been me,” you whispered aloud, opening your eyes to find Valor’s face mere inches away from your own.

“No, love,” he murmured. “You can’t lie to me; I’m in your head. That’s not really why you feel guilty, now is it?”

Your lip trembled, and you shook your head, lowering your gaze to the ground.

“No,” you breathed.

“Then explain your guilt – truthfully, this time.”

You closed your eyes once again, and now, you saw your master where Tabytha’s corpse had just laid. He was just as lifeless as she was, his eyes already glazed over, body already cold as ice, and you let out a sigh - one of relief. Because, yes, he was your master, your teacher, the closest thing to a parent you’d ever had… But he was also an asshole. His expectations had always been unfairly high, and while it had motivated padawans of his in the past to work harder to achieve them, it had only ever succeeded in making you feel like a disappointment.

“It should have been him.”

Approval once again flowed to you through the force, and with it crept in another emotion, one that you’d forced down countless times in your life. One that you should have known would come after guilt, because every time you’d felt it, guilt indubitably would come with it. It was an emotion forbidden to the Jedi, as staunchly opposed as the Sith who now held you, powerless, in his grasp.

Anger.

The strength of it took your breath away as you opened your eyes again, and you saw red as you remembered the rage that had once filled you up to the brim. That word – powerless – came back to you, and you found that it perfectly explained the anger you’d felt after Tabytha’s murder. You’d been powerless to prevent it, powerless to stop it, and powerless to bring her back.

“That’s it,” Kenobi praised, grinning at you wickedly. He dropped his hands to his belt, and your eyes widened as he started to unclasp it. Fear pulsed through you, but your wrath did as well; because even now you were powerless to the whims of this Sith, just as you had been from the moment he’d walked into the room. This cruel display of power was only to toy with you, to make you suffer-

“Guess again, love,” he chided. His fingers paused just above the zipper on his trousers, and he took a step closer, until once again his robes brushed against your skin. “As adorable as your attempts at resisting me are, there is a different purpose behind this. Just give in; remember what the dark side felt like, what it showed you.”

You gritted your teeth, trying to think through the anger; what was he trying to show you? And what did it matter? You wouldn’t be able to survive an apprenticeship under this man if this was what the Dark Side was – either it would kill you, or you would kill yourself from the torture of it.

Warm hands suddenly came to rest against your sides, and you opened your eyes to see Kenobi in front of you, staring into your eyes with such deep intensity that it momentarily broke through your rage. It was as if you were standing in the eye of a storm; the force was roiling around you, bubbling with anticipation for something, though you had no idea what. Valor’s eyes seemed to swirl like pools of molten lava as you struggled to find your bearings in the force – there was something you needed to realize. You just couldn’t put your finger on what.

His hands travelled downward, reaching behind your back to the handcuffs still keeping you bound.

“Think of that powerlessness,” he purred against your ear, fiddling with the device’s latch. “Think of the anger you felt in response to it. Why? Why feel such fury in the face of such weakness?”

You swallowed, closing your eyes and searching for the answer. Valor’s grip on your mind loosened just enough for you to pull away for a moment, and you so did. You managed to pull your consciousness away from his just for a second, and you took a breath, forcing yourself to look at your emotions from a new perspective, one that went against everything the Jedi stood for.

And it was then that you found the answer. You didn’t flinch when your handcuffs fell to the floor, nor did you feel any soreness as your arms slowly fell to your sides - you were too busy focusing on the Sith Lord’s face as you tried to put your realization into words.

“Because it’s power,” you heard yourself saying. “Because anger is power – it has been all along.”

A proud grin spread over his face, and you made no move to fight him as he wrapped his arms around your waist. The callouses on his hands scratched lightly at your back as he held you close to him, and your palms came up to rest on his chest as he leaned over you.

“Well done, my young apprentice.”

His lips fell onto yours the second after he whispered those words, and immediately they were insistent, insatiable. His tongue glided past your lips as they parted in a gasp, and his arms tightened around you possessively as, once again, he wrapped his presence around yours in the force. You felt yourself get swept up in a torrent of his thoughts. You saw the memory of when he’d first laid eyes on you when you’d crossed paths in a public transport terminal. You hadn’t even noticed him, focused instead on whatever your master was telling you, and yet he’d immediately recognized how bright you shone in the force.

I knew I wanted you as soon as I felt it, you heard his voice echo in your mind. I saw your anger, felt it simmering just beneath your surface, and I knew then that you could be beautiful, darling.

You didn’t know what you should be focusing on – what Kenobi was doing to your mind, or your body. You were broken out of his thoughts by the feeling of him wrapping your legs around his waist just before he pulled you into another memory, this time from the day after discovering you. He’d had a dream of you that morning before he woke up – a vision, one of you fighting at his side, wielding a red lightsaber to match his own, your eyes wide and wild with the bloodlust of a Sith.

As the Valor in his memory woke up from the dream, you felt his rush of arousal as he realized that he was hard. Heat rose in your cheeks as you watched him throw his bedsheets back, and your lips parted in a jagged moan as you felt him take his erection in hand. You had done that to him, you realized, and the thought only made the foreign feelings inside of you grow in strength.

You’d felt aroused before, sure, but nothing had ever been like this. You shook your head, dispelling the vision of his fist pumping his hard cock up and down, only to find Valor watching you with a wide grin. You jolted when you realized that he had you pinned against the wall, your hands resting on his shoulders for support as he stood between your legs.

“I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you, young one,” he growled, pressing the hard length of his cock against your bare pussy. Your eyes widened at the feeling that it provoked inside of you; something in your core tightened as you felt him press against your clit, and embarrassment seeped through you when you looked down to see your own wetness glimmering against his pants.

“No need to be embarrassed, you sweet, innocent thing,” he chuckled, and the hairs at the base of your neck bristled. “I’ll be your first, will I not? Something about a rule against forming attachments while serving under the Jedi Order?”

You stiffened at his mention of the Code, and for a brief moment, the thought of how wrong this was flashed through you. The anger still inside of you, the way your body was responding to Valor’s, the temptation to just give in to him, if only to spare yourself from feeling so conflicted.

“The Code is for our protection-“ You started to say, but Kenobi cut you off with a loud, sharp bark of laughter.

“Please tell me you’re not going to recite Jedi dogma to me right now,” he groaned. Once more, he pressed his cock against you, rolling his hips forward and grinning as it elicited another stilted gasp from you. “It’ll kill my mood.”

He continued grinding his hips, and your entire body jumped when you feel a new touch, a foreign one, start to crawl down the valley between your breasts, making its way to your sopping core. You knew it was the force; you’d heard of it being used for such things. But even now you could hear Master Windu’s voice telling you that it would be blasphemous to even think about using a power as great as the force for such base-

Your thoughts dissolved into white noise as the touch suddenly dropped down, going straight for your clit.

“Stop thinking about the Jedi, love. You said it yourself,” he cajoled, starting to circle your clit slowly as he whispered against your ear, “Anger is power; if the Jedi got that wrong, what other lies have they told you about the force?”

Anger is power.

You paused, that thought echoing in your head even as Kenobi used the force to push his trousers down to his knees. His hard cock sprang free, already leaking a bead of precum, but you felt nearly numb as you watched him stroke it.

Anger is power.

It had to be the truth, right? Why else would you feel it so consistently when you felt at your weakest? Why did the Jedi fear it so, if it were anything else other than the power they so desperately warned their followers against craving? Why else was it able to consume everything – fear, sorrow, grief – in its wake? You searched for it now, calling your anger to you as Valor lined himself up with your entrance, and, easily, it came surging back into your veins.

And, god, it felt good.

It choked out your fear as you thought back on the principles you’d been raised to have faith in. When had the Jedi made you feel anything better than this? You’d been controlled by them your entire life; every memory of your childhood, adolescence, and adulthood was built on a pillar of the Jedi, and yet you had only ever been made to feel like you weren’t good enough. You had been isolated, unbalanced, under the tutelage of the Council and under the heel of your master.

But not anymore. Because whether or not you decided to forgive the Jedi for their mistreatment of you, you could never go back. Not when Darth Valor was offering you a choice between either becoming his apprentice or being killed. Not after letting yourself feel this anger and realizing how intoxicating it was.

Not after you felt his cock split you open and stretch your pussy in a way that was white-hot with searing pain while also managing to fill a void inside of you that you hadn’t even realized had been there all along. Your lips parted around a stilted, breathless moan as you watched Valor’s eyes flutter shut. A long, drawn out groan escaped his lips, and you knew that, during your entire life as a pawn of the Jedi, you had never felt this powerful.

The two of you cried out in tandem as Kenobi drew his hips back only to thrust back inside of you, and you glanced down to see streaks of blood staining his cock. You didn’t feel any worry or hesitancy, though; instead, heat sparked somewhere in your mind, and though you were unsure if it had come from you or from him, a wave of need suddenly washed over you. Pure, carnal need to own, consume, and corrupt.

Your hands fisted into Valor’s hair, pulling him forward until his mouth collided with yours. It was sloppy, desperate – his teeth clanked against yours as your tongues tangled together, but neither of you seemed to care. His hands fell to your ass, squeezing it roughly as he started to set a brutal pace. Tears gathered in your eyes at the pain of his cock pounding into you, but when he once again used the force to circle and stimulate your clit, you felt your eyes roll back as you felt a sharp burst of pleasure trail up your spine.

Give into me, a voice whispered in your head. Use your anger; surrender to the Dark Side…

You squeezed your eyes shut, throwing your head back as the head of his cock brushed against something inside of you that your own fingers had never managed to find before. Panting, you arched your back, desperate to feel his cock hit that spot again. Your nails dug into his shoulders, tearing at the fabric of his robes, futilely trying to pull him closer to you.

“Commit yourself to me.” His lips brushed against your neck as he spoke, voice shaking with each thrust. “Say you’ll be mine, dear one…”

You felt the darkness of his presence descend upon you again, just as it had before, but this time you didn’t even try to raise your shields up. His force signature held only the promise of release, of guidance – you were suddenly greeted with the image of the two of you in a hotel room as you straddled him, bouncing on his cock until he was begging you to let him cum. Abruptly, the vision shifted, and then you saw yourself seated on a throne with his head between your legs, your hips rising up to meet his tongue as he doted on the most sensitive part of your body.

Next, he showed you the two of you sparing, of him painstakingly showing you how to fight like a Sith, think like a Sith – grow powerful, like a Sith. The final vision that flashed from his mind to yours was of the two of you together, standing over the corpse of his former master, each with an ignited lightsaber in your hand. Before you, in an expansive, grand throne room, thousands of people fell to their knees, bowing their heads in subjugation as their two new rulers stood before them – an entire empire, being built even now by the man Kenobi would one day fighting for the power to rule it all.

With you as his apprentice, his lover – his empress – at his side.

As soon as the image faded from your imagination, your hands fell to his belt, smoothly grabbing his lightsaber and igniting it. Immediately, his body went still, and for a moment, the two of you stayed exactly like that, neither of you so much as twitching a muscle as his weapon emitted its low, deadly hum. And then, slowly, he rose his head up and met your eyes, his pupils blown so wide that there was only a thin ring of gold around them now.

Both of you knew that you could kill him with a flick of your wrist; no matter what he did, there was no way he’d be able to move fast enough to stop you. He swallowed, staring at you, trying to gauge what your next move was going to be; and, truth be told, for a moment you pondered the same thing. What were you going to do?

Taking a deep breath, you maneuvered the ignited blade between you, careful not to singe either of you as you held the red blade above your head. You were so focused on keeping your hold on his weapon steady that you could do nothing to prevent the violent shaking in your other hand as it reached for your padawan braid. Immediate understanding washed over Kenobi’s face, and he reached for his saber, knowing what you wanted.

“No.”

He paused, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, and you straightened your spine as you held your braid taut.

“You’ll be my master,” you breathed, “but I freed myself.”

With that, you closed your eyes and brought the saber down onto the lock of hair, singeing it with a quick downward stroke before deactivating its crimson glow. The smell of burnt hair was faint in the air, and your eyes fell onto the braid now dangling from your fingers. Valor’s lightsaber clattered to the ground, forgotten as you felt the last connection you had to the Jedi die.

When your eyes slowly trailed up to meet his, you gulped at the emotion you found brimming in his eyes. Within the force, you felt something warm flow from your new master into you, and you gasped when you realized what it was – joy. Pure, unbridled joy, so unlike the impassivity Mace Windu had once displayed when taking you as his padawan. No, this was so unlike anything any of the Jedi had shown towards you, and the euphoria of it made you roll your hips forward, desperate for the feeling to last.

As if breaking out of a trance, your master blinked once, then twice, before surging forward, claiming your lips in a bruising kiss as he once more started rolling his hips.

Incredible, his mind whispered to you. Knew you were more than those fools gave you credit for, knew you would be extraordinary…

“Obi-Wan,” you moaned, breaking the kiss and letting your head fall back against the wall behind you. You’d used his birthname without thinking, but you gasped when you felt a deep, primal surge from within him. A ragged growl poured out of his lips, and his hips quickened, drawing a high-pitched wail from your throat.

One of his hands creeped between your bodies, and as soon as he started rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts, you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer. Your toes curled as you felt something inside of you start to tighten – it spread up your legs, arching your spine and making stars explode behind your eyes as you approached the edge.

“Obi-Wan,” you breathed, clawing at his shoulders. You were right there, right there, so fucking close but not quite close enough. “I-I need-“

One last time, he pressed your minds together, pushing into your force presence as far as he could and opening himself up to you. A torrent of sensations flooded your system – you felt a tight, wet heat wrapped around you, tighter than anyone you’d ever fucked before. You felt someone’s nails digging into your skin, scratching at you and heightening your pleasure with sparks and jolts of pain. You felt the exhilaration of corrupting someone completely, stealing every shred of innocence from their mind, body, and soul, all at the same time.

And finally, finally, a bright, blistering light cut through the darkness as you reached the hardest orgasm you’d ever felt. You couldn’t even make a sound as it rippled through you, making your your body tense up and tremble as Valor fucked you through it. Your pussy clenched down onto his cock, walls fluttering as you rode out your high, and with a resounding cry of your name, he found his own release, painting it on your inner walls.

His hips moved against yours lazily as he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm, keeping your body pressed flush against his. His lips moved slowly against yours, sloppy and languid as his tongue explored your mouth; as it was, you didn’t think you’d have the strength to stand if he let you go, and you found yourself returning his touch, longing to be close to him as the reality of what just happened set in.

When his lips eventually parted from yours, both of you took a deep breath, looking at each other with half-lidded eyes. Your new master’s face was impassive, and his presence was calm in the force, something you never would have expected from a Sith.

“You’re a Sith too now, you know,” he pointed out, and you felt your cheeks start to heat up – you’d forgotten that he could hear your thoughts. “We’re not so scary now that you’re one of us, now are we?”

He gave you an amused quirk of the eyebrow, and you shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak just yet. With one last peck to your lips, he let go of you, and though you wobbled on your feet for a moment, you managed to stay on them as he fixed his clothes.

Looking down at your hands, you realized that you were still holding your padawan braid in a tight fist; letting your fingers fall open, you held up your palm, looking at the thin sliver of hair you held in your hand. You didn’t need to check to know that the training bond you’d had with Master Windu had been broken; you would have been able to feel him the moment you woke up if it hadn’t been. How had you not noticed until now?

“Because there’s already a new bond in its place.”

You paused, furrowing your brows as you looked up at your master. Searching inside of yourself, you found that he was right; where there had once been a telepathic chord that connect you to Windu, there was now a new one, already doubly as strong as your connection to your Jedi master.

“How…?”

Confusion filled you; you hadn’t felt such a bond form, and a new force bond wasn’t something you just missed, no matter how busy you were having sex with a Sith Lord. But how, then, was it there now? Unless…

“The bond was already there when I woke up,” you realized. Glancing up, you could tell by the expression on Valor’s face that it was true. “But… But then, why-“

“I knew you would accept me,” he explained, cupping your cheek. “I formed the bond while you slept. Do you really think I would reveal the plans I have in store for my master with just anyone?”

He smiled, his eyes crinkling up at their corners as he gazed down at you fondly.

“I watched you until I knew for sure that you were the one,” he went on, running the tip of his thumb along your cheekbone. “The one who I wanted to share my knowledge, my power, and my life with. It took me about ten years to manage it, but eventually… I found you.”

You were past the point of feeling violated that he’d left such a permanent mark on you in your sleep, and you were past any concern at the possessive gleam in his eyes as he regarded you. Instead, you felt warm; you felt seen for the first time in your life. Because, to the Jedi, you’d been just one more padawan, one more soldier – you hadn’t even been special to your own master.

But this man, this Sith, had waited a decade just for you. All that mattered now was that you were here, and despite your earlier fear, you didn’t regret your decision. You leaned into your master’s touch as he pulled you to him, and you let the final shred of who you used to be fall away as his voice echoed both in your ears and in your mind.

“From now on, my dear apprentice, you will be known as Darth Nocuous, and soon, not only will the Jedi know better than to underestimate you – the entire galaxy will, starting with me.”

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi imagine #sith!obi wan #sith!obi wan kenobi #sith!obi wan kenobi x reader #darth valor

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frostsinth · 3 years

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Of Sand & Sea - Prequel

@thava commissioned a prequel of my one-shot HERE, curious about the first meeting between Guppy and Gull. This was a great time for me, I had a lot of fun! I hope it’s everything you were looking for! It ran a little longer than planned, but I don’t think you’ll mind :D

Enjoy my work? Consider going to BuyMeACoffee to show your support. You can find the link in my MASTERLIST. Feel free to check out my other ramblings while you are there. DM me if you are interested in a commission of your own!

Enjoy, and Happy New Year!

The beach seemed a pleasant place. The crash of the waves, steady and rhythmic against the shore, filled her ears. The briny scent filled her lungs and washed away the stinging behind her eyes, though she still gave sad little sniffles every now and then. The girl walked along the sand, sweeping an abandoned bit of driftwood back and forth in front of her as she did. Far too young to be left alone to wander, but far too forgotten by the world for anyone to notice. She was dressed simply; an off-white tunic dress, old and over sized, that fell past her knees. The sleeves had been roughly shorn away, leaving her tawny kissed skin bare to the warm sun. She wiped the back of a sandy hand at her eye, blinking away the last of her tears.

This was her mother’s lands, she had been told. The islands of her forefathers. Whatever that meant. This particular island, small and entirely empty, had been her family’s for many generations. Though it had fallen into neglect after her grandmother had passed. Forgotten by the younger generation like some old heirloom left in the attic to gather cobwebs and mothballs. Far removed from the main islands and certainly off the map for tourists and greedy moguls. It was maybe only a few miles across in each direction, with a small grove of trees at the center which crowned the raised hillock where the house had been built. Though ‘house’ was a generous word, as the structure only had a few rooms and was set high on stilts. Like something out of a picture book, she had decided upon first seeing it.

This was her first time here, and as soon as she had buried her bare feet in the soft, warm sands, she had felt... different. More at home than she had in a long time. Not since…

The girl sighed, far too heavily for someone of her age, looking out across the stony beach to the ocean beyond. A weight in the corners of her large brown eyes that the waves could not so easily wash away. Her uncle thought it would be nice to bring her here. To get away from the city and have some quiet. Though he was always working... He knew nothing about children; had no concept of what she needed. He tried, to some extent. Bought her clothes, asked her what foods she liked. But more often than not, he would be in his own world, and forget she even existed. Spending his time lost in his writing, or his books.

She found she didn’t particularly mind. He was awkward, and a little strange. They were still trying to establish their relationship, so suddenly forced together. And he was older, with rickety knees and greying hair. He couldn’t keep up with her, and seemed to quickly tire of her lack of understanding and occasional emotional outbursts. As had happened this morning. They had been on the island for nearly a week now, and she had stayed in the house on the hill for the most part. Timid and frightened of the rest of the seemingly wild place. But she had nervously lingered too close to him for too long. Had gotten in his way one too many times.

His harsh words still rang in her ears as she wandered along the beach. The little patch of trees she had bolted to hadn’t been nearly so scary as the volume of his voice. And he hadn’t followed her. Hadn’t chased after her to make sure she was ok, or to apologize for losing his temper with her. So she wandered farther away, first down toward the rickety old dock where their small little boat was tethered. Then further, along the sands and stones, to the far side of the island. Clambering over rocks where she needed to, swinging her stick back and forth.

No, she decided. The island was not nearly so scary as she had first thought. And there was lots to look at. Sea birds who cawed overhead and gathered on the rocks to look at her with curious, beady eyes. Crabs that scuttled out of her way, or raised their claws at her stick when she poked gently at them. Lots and lots of shells too. Some half buried in the sands, some laying on top. As the last of her tears dried in the warm sun, leaving tracks down her dirty face, she began to collect them. Gathering them up in her dress. Tossing her stick to the side in favor of sandy shells and shiny stones.

A particularly large and gleaming shell caught her eye a little while later, tucked between some large rocks right at the edge of the water. She could see the foam from the waves splash up just beyond them, and eyed them nervously. She had never been taught to swim, and her uncle told such frightening stories of little girls being washed out to sea. But the temptation of the shell was far too great to be belittled by her fear of the water.

She piled her bounty on the sand, then carefully clambered over the damp rocks. They were quite slippery in places, and more than once her balance was challenged by their shifting and sliding. But she found a little burst of pride in herself as she managed to reach the top of one particularly large rock in front of her prize, and stood there a moment to peer at the little cove around her.

The little girl suddenly became distinctly aware of a soft sound, echoing above the crash of the waves. It sounded like a warble, a keening. Sad, and melancholy. It made her heart quicken and her fear rise again. Her large eyes darted about nervously, wondering if ghosts could come out during the day. Her curly dark auburn locks bounced about her eyes as she searched. Something moved near the head of the semicircle of rocks that formed this corner of beach, and her heart jumped. But then the keening wail came again, chirping now. Sad, but also… frightened.

She clutched her prize shell close to her chest as she cautiously ventured closer. Climbing timidly over the rocks, careful to avoid the little pools of water gathered in between where the waves crested the taller boulders to splash bits of ocean into the crevices.

The rocks clicked and shifted ahead of her, and she was distinctly aware of the movement seeming more frantic as she drew closer. Something sploshed, and slapped. Sounding like wet cloth smacking against the stones. She could finally see it more clearly now, and the girl ducked behind a rock in fright at what she saw.

At first, she had thought it was another child, naked and laying half in a shallow little puddle of water amid the stones. It certainly looked like a fat child, but with greenish-teal skin and a mop of seaweed colored locks on the top of its bulbous head. She braved another peek around the rock, easing a little closer. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else living on this island. Her uncle had told her as much, and she hadn’t any reason to disbelieve him. Curiosity overtook her fear, and she snuck closer. Perhaps a little more lonely than she would ever admit, and hoping for someone other than her uncle to talk to.

The rocks shifted and clacked beneath her feet as she moved a little closer. And the teal-skinned child’s head snapped around at the noise. Fixing her with large, bright yellow eyes.

She froze, shocked. She had never seen such eyes before! They had no whites, and it seemed like the boy had no eyebrows above them. Instead, his brow bowed out, like he had been stung by a bee. Lots of bees, she guessed, because it was very big. It was a boy, or at least, she thought it might be a boy. He had chubby cheeks and messy green hair, narrow little shoulders and spindly arms. The shape of his head and the color of his skin was distracting, but she was pretty sure it was a boy.

When he saw her, his eyes seemed to get larger. He wriggled, and kicked, as if trying to move closer. She jumped at that, skittering a few steps backwards. Her feet slipped on the stones and she gave a soft yelp as she fell. Landing hard on her bottom on the wet stones, her ragged dress becoming quickly soaked at the hem with the intermittent little puddles of water. Her shell went flying, landing a few feet away from them both, but closer to him than her. He froze at that, and stared back at her. Suddenly frightened of the strange looking boy, she crawled backwards, until her back hit a large boulder.

But he didn’t move to follow her. Though she saw him wriggle and scramble again. He gave a huff at his efforts, then the soft, keening wail came from his mouth. She had never heard such a sound before. She blinked at him, watching him collapse on his stomach in the puddle, splashing about. Yanking at his lower half, which appeared to be half under a rock.

A year ago, she had found a rabbit, stuck in a fence. Its back legs unable to fit through the opening its head and shoulders had managed to wriggle through. She remembered the way it had thrashed and kicked, its eyes wide. It had even squeaked, as if in pain, and had seemed even more frantic when she had approached.

The boy with the strange eyes and skin moved the same way as that rabbit. She watched him for a moment, until he lay still once more. After a little while, he craned his neck back. As if to see if she was still there.

“... Are you stuck?” She asked him, her voice a little soft for its timid-ness.

He blinked at her slowly, as if surprised to hear words coming from her mouth. Slowly, she eased herself back to her feet. Then carefully skirted her way over, giving him as wide a berth as she was able. His eyes followed her as she moved. They were a little eerie, but she squared her jaw stubbornly, and turned her own attention to the rock on his legs. It was big, not nearly so large as her, but it looked heavy. With a final glance at the strange boy, she put her shoulder against it and shoved with all her might. It shifted, and she heard the crunch of other rocks around them. But it didn’t move much. After a moment, she had to relent, and stepped back.

A check on the boy found him still watching her, and she noticed now that she could see him properly he didn’t seem to have ears. Instead, there were fins protruding from beneath his hair, and what she thought looked like little pink slashes on his fat neck. He looked strange… but not that scary anymore, now that she was closer. She could see specks of yellow across his nose and cheeks, and over his shoulders, arms, and chest. Like freckles, she decided. She had a few freckles, though hers were brown, not yellow. But the color seemed fitting on him, since he was a greenish-blue, and she paid it no further mind. Turning her attention back to the rock.

“It’s heavy,” She admitted, then glanced back at him, “But I can try again… pull your legs out, ok?”

He watched her silently, and for a second she wondered if he could understand her. There were some people who couldn’t, she knew. Some people on the main island spoke with different sounds and words that she didn’t understand. Her uncle had said they spoke a different language, though he hadn’t fully explained what that meant. But after a moment, the green boy nodded slightly and she gave him a small smile. So he could understand her then. Good!

“Ok, on three,” She instructed, leveling her boney shoulder against the rock again, “One, two, THREE!”

She shoved with all the might her little five year old body could manage, though her feet slid in the wet pebbles at her feet with the effort. Still, the rock lifted, just a little, and with a SHLUP, the boy scuttled backwards. Just in time too, as she lost her balance and dropped the rock back down moments later.

She slipped the rest of the way, falling onto her bottom again. The rock shifted, and both of them gasped nervously. But then it fell still, and after a moment, her face split into a broad grin. She even laughed a little, looking over at the boy to see if he shared in her mirth.

It was only then she realized it was not legs he had pulled out from under the stone. She wasn’t sure what they were, but there was more than two of them. They wriggled and twitched under her scrutiny, curling and uncurling. They were the same color as his body, but the undersides were pink with little suckers every few inches in matching pairs. As she watched, frozen in surprise, the boy inched a little closer. Seeming to snake his way over the rocks. The strange appendages carried him like legs, with his upper body propped straight up as hers was when she stood. But they didn’t move like her legs, more like fingers. Or like a spider perhaps, though they looked squishy like spaghetti. She was so surprised by the sight of him, she hadn’t realized the little boy had crawled right up to her, and was now peering at her nose to nose.

“... Who are you?” He asked her after another moment, and his voice sounded like he was speaking through a mouthful of water. His breath was salty, and he smelled like the ocean.

She blinked at him stupidly for a moment. “Me?”

He nodded, then reached out one stubby teal finger, poking her shoulder curiously. “... You’re all tan and pink. Like a gull without feathers.”

She pushed his head away. “Well, you’re all green! Like seaweed!” She shot back.

He scoffed, and she jumped as one of his weird feet fell on her ankle. “I look how I’m supposed to look. You’re the weird one.”

She shook her head. “You’re the weird one! And you smell like fish!”

His head cocked to the side, and she watched his nose flare as he sniffed at her. “You smell like sand, I think.” He seemed to consider this, looking her over. “What’s wrong with your tentacles? Why do you only have two?”

“Tentacles?” She echoed the strange word, and he grinned at her. Baring stubby little white teeth.

“Yeah, these.” He held one up, wriggling it in front of her face. Then poked her nose with its tip.

She cried out softly in surprise, covering her nose with both her hands. That made him laugh quietly. “I don’t have those!” She exclaimed through her fingers. “I have legs!”

She lifted one up slightly in illustration. He looked at it, then wrapped two of his tentacles around it. She giggled, kicking slightly.

“That tickles!”

“You’re weird, little Gull.” He told her, uncurling from around her leg and sitting back slightly to appraise her again. Then his grin returned. “I like you.”

“Do you live here?” She asked curiously, shifting into a better seat and wrapping her arms around her knees.

He shook his head, then pointed out to the sea. “I live there, of course.”

“In the ocean?”

He nodded. “Yeah, don’t you?”

She laughed. “Of course not! I can’t swim.” She turned and pointed over her shoulder to the small hillock behind them above the copse of trees. “I live up there. Well, right now anyway.”

“How can you live so far from the water?” He sounded surprised. “How do you stay wet?”

“I don’t want to stay wet!” She argued. “I want to get dry!”

“You’ve got it all backwards, silly Gull!” He shook his head, exasperated. “Getting too dry will make you sick!”

“But my bed would feel really gross if it was wet all the time.” She reasoned, thinking it over. “And I’m usually dry, and I’m not sick.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re sand colored all over.” He mused, reaching out with his tentacles as he leaned back on his hands, running them appraisingly over her arms. “You dried out too much.”

She thought that over for a moment, watching his tentacles skim over her arms. “No, I think I’m supposed to be like this. Everyone else I know looks like this too. I’ve never seen anyone who looks like you...” She reached out, touching the thicker body of one tentacle currently wrapping around her opposite wrist curiously. “Maybe you stayed in the water too long, and that’s why your legs and skin look funny.”

He unwrapped his tentacle, pulling it back and leaning forward to take up her hand with his. His skin was cool to the touch, and had a weird quality to it. Like a slug’s skin, but not so gross as that. She didn’t mind him touching her, turning her hand about and rubbing his thumbs along its length curiously. He lifted it up, looking at the underside of her arm, then sighed and let it drop back down.

“I’ve never seen anyone like you, little Gull. Are you sure you’re supposed to look like this?” He curled and uncurled his tentacles beneath him, inching in a half circle around her as he looked her over again. “Maybe you’re under some spell.”

“A spell?” She echoed, spinning to watch him circle her. Fascinated by the way he moved. As he completed his circuit, he slunk over to the pool of water, easing slowly down into it before laying flat on his belly so the water lapped over his back. Propping his head on his hands to look over at her again. “What kind of spell?”

He shrugged his knubby little shoulders. “Oh, I don’t know. I used to hear stories about people under spells. They have to walk the land alone forever and never return to the sea.” He twirled his tentacles back and forth behind him. “Maybe that’s what happened to you.”

She paused, falling silent and suddenly remembering her sadness. Resting her chin on her knees. “Maybe…”

They fell silent for a minute, and he seemed a bit puzzled at this. At her sudden switch. He chewed on his cheek, then shifted, rolling back out of the puddle. Water dripping from his teal skin.

“The stories say you can break the spell though.” He offered tentatively, scooching closer. One long tentacle reached out, plucking the large shell from where it had fallen. Bringing it back over and holding it out to her.

She took it with a soft sniffle. “... Yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Maybe you just need to come back to the sea.” He poked her shoulder again. “Then you’ll get the ocean back in your blood.”

“I don’t know how to swim.” She reminded him.

“I can teach you!” He replied eagerly. But she quickly shook her head. “Come on, it’s easy!”

“For you, maybe.” She scoffed, running her hands over the shell in her lap. “You’re a fish!”

He scowled at her. “I am not a fish!”

“Oh yeah? Then what are you?”

He paused, thinking this over for a moment. “Well… I’m… I’m just…” He straightened, puffing up his chest. “I’m Gupslessiano.”

“... Glupses-”

“Gupslessiano.”

“Gupplessan-”

“GUPSLESSIANO!”

She shook her head. “That’s too hard to say…. How about Guppy?”

The boy chewed that over, leaning back. “... Hmmm… I suppose it’s ok if you call me Guppy.” His bright yellow eyes darted to her. “But only if I can call you Gull!”

She grinned at him. “Deal!”

“So then, Gull,” He keened, skittering back a few steps, “... Wanna play a game?”

... The End

#merman #octomer #merman lover #sea monster #sea monster lover #sea monster boyfriend #childhood friends #first meeting #prequel #terato #exophilia #monster x human #monster romance #monster fluff

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