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#my heart was literally racing for several days. couldn't get over it
catboydan · 9 months
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I finally rewatched Good Omens s1 and watched Good Omens s2 and I'm now crying, they've been pining since the very beginning of everything and they deserve happiness not that ending they got
you know what though? we're gonna get there. THEY are gonna get there. they're gonna get that cottage in the south downs, and all we have to do is harass the studios to pay their workers so the strikes can end and we'll finally get to see our ineffable idiots have a happy ending ;-;
#i cried SO HARD#and it took me a few days to get thru the funk but you know what helped?#knowing we're at the halfway point#and that s3 exists in some form regardless of the strikes. neil gaiman has said he'd write a book even if the show doesn't get renewed#i was SO ANGRY at aziraphale and SO ANNOYED at crowley but now i'm just.#sitting here daydreaming about their reunion 🥰#because really i've rbed a lot of analysis stuff but i truly think they are miscommunicating on every level#it feels a bit like the bandstand scene in s1 now. like it hurts but it hurts SO GOOD#val comes out of hiding#anon#ask#good omens#gos2#gos2spoilers#but really i can't emphasize enough how much ep6 got to me nonnie#my heart was literally racing for several days. couldn't get over it#getting into the analysis stuff of it all really helped tbh#like the how and why of the fight & kiss. the emotions & rationale & misunderstanding#i was sooooo angry at aziraphale at first reaction because 'i forgive u' SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPP#but now after some time to think about it. it's a lot more complicated than that#and i do think aziraphale is making the only choice he could possibly be expected to make in that situation.#which is try to make things better PERMANENTLY by gaining influence over all of heaven#because crowley's right. earth will die whether it's heaven or hell who kills them all#but a&c can't defuse another armageddon by getting even less involved#anyway. ep6 damaged my psyche and i am currently always thinking about it
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my-hot-asian-wife · 1 month
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Watching her get fucked for the first time
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The air was thick with anticipation as we arrived at Mark’s apartment. My heart raced in my chest, a mixture of nerves and excitement that seemed to take over my entire body. I couldn't help but glance over at my wife, her usually calm demeanor replaced by a nervous energy that made her seem almost giddy. She was dressed in the most sexy little skirt and tight tank top imaginable. Her legs and pussy were freshly waxed and her black bra could be seen through the material with the right light, pushing her tits together beneath the babied. She was dressed to kill and I was hard as a rock even though I had jerked off several times that morning in hopes of being ready. We had been planning this for months now, ever since we first discovered the thrill of swinging at the local swingers club. And tonight, it was all finally going to happen…watching my wife get fucked by someone. The road here was a long one and it wasn’t as easy as you’d think to find the right guy for this type of thing. Mark was our age, single, and experienced at playing the bull in several Hotwife and cuckold relationships in the past. He wasn’t shy at admitting that my wife would be the most attractive woman, by far, that he would ever be with. My wife wasn’t shy about how attracted she was to his tall and muscular body. He had two sleeves of tattoos and exuded confidence. The best part was he had an impressive, thick, 8” cock. He literally looked like he could do porn. Like Johnny Sins with nice hair. My wife admitted that this guy wasn’t her typical “type” but she was intrigued with the idea of having sex with someone like him…a fantasy shes verbalized to me in the past.
Mark opened the door and invited us in with a warm smile. He was wearing a pair of form-fitting jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and a tight grey t-shirt that showed off his chiseled torso. My cock twitched in my pants as I took him all in. My wife seemed to be having a similar reaction, her eyes not able to tear themselves away from his body. They had video chatted before and I watched as they both showed off their body to one another. It was days before we discussed the rules. Mark would wear a condom for all vaginal penetration. Although I would mainly be watching, I would hop in later for double penetration before we both finished. Mark assured my wife she would have multiple orgasms and that he was an expert at eating pussy.
The apartment was tastefully decorated with a large king-sized bed taking up most of the center of the room. There was a huge television mounted on the wall above the bed, a wet bar, and a seating area with a leather couch and a couple of chairs. "So, do you guys want a drink or would you prefer to get right down to it?” Mark asked, breaking the tense silence in the room. My wife shot me a nervous look before turning back to Mark with a shy smile. "Up to you baby” she said as she looked at me. Her voice was nervous and barely above a whisper. “I’m good with that” I said as Mark nodded eagerly and stepped forward, wrapping his strong arms around her waist and pulling her into him. Their bodies pressed tightly together, his hand moving up to squeeze one of her perfect ass cheeks.beneath her short skirt.
My heart pounded in my chest as I watched my wife respond to his touch. Her hands moved up to rest on his broad shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she leaned into the embrace. They kissed deeply, their tongues dancing together in a way that only people who were truly attracted to each other could. It was hot and passionate, and I felt a surge of jealousy rise up inside me as I watched them. But at the same time, I was grateful for this moment. Grateful that I had found a man who could make my wife feel this way, grateful that I could share in this experience with her. Despite our past soft swaps, it was the first time I’ve seen her kiss another man, something we debated whether or not we should do this time. As they continued making out, Mark slid his hands to her waste and undid the button to her skirt, loosening it and letting it fall to the floor exposing her black lace panties.
My cock was painfully hard in my pants as I watched my wife's body pressed against Mark's. I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to have my own cock inside her, to feel her warmth and tightness around me as she moaned my name. But for now, I had to be content with watching. As they continued kissing, Mark knelt down and slowly pulled her panties to the side, revealing my wife's perfectly tight waxed pussy. He looked at it for a moment, taking in the sight of her wetness, before leaning forward and gently kissing her lips. "You're so fucking beautiful" he whispered, his voice thick with desire. Mark glanced at me with a grin before positioning my wife on her back on his bed. He crouched low and began flicking his tongue on her clit. She let out a gasped and then a moan as he continued to go down on her. It was so fucking hot.
I moved a little closer, unable to resist the temptation to touch her. I gently brushed my fingers against her hip, feeling the heat radiating from her skin. She arched her back into Mark's touch, her hips grinding against his face as he continued to eat her out. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was in a euphoric state. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and her nails dug into the bedding as she lost control. Finally, with a loud cry, she started dirty talking, “oh fuck, oh my god, yes, that’s it!” She looked at me with lustful eyes as she continued to cry out, “you’re so fucking good!” her body shuddering and twitching under Mark's skilled tongue. He looked up at me as she writhed beneath him, a satisfied smile on his lips. Mark began rubbing her pussy with his fingers as he flicked his tongue, eventually he began fingering her. It wouldn’t take long for her to climax, “fuuuuuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, make me cum!” As her body tensed and twitched I could see her head thrown back and her eyes squeezed shut as she grasped hard onto fhr comforter. It hadn’t even been 5 minutes and she had already came. Mark was clearly very turned on by it all as he quickly pulled off his pants and boxer briefs. His impressive cock was rock hard.
“Fuck, look at that cock baby. I know you want to suck it. That is the biggest cock you will have sucked, right?” My wife looked up from the bed, regaining her composure. Her eyes were wide with excitement, “oh my god, that’s big.” She slowly got up from the bed and began kissing Mark again as she reaches out to wrap her hand around his length. She slowly stroked him as they passionately hooked up. Mark began pulling off her top and she was left only wearing her black lace push-up bra. She continued to stroke as she turned back to look at me. “Should I suck him now?” I nodded as I slowly undid my pants, watching my wife drop to her knees. Mark was towering above her, his large muscular frame and massive cock was a stark contrast to my petite, short Asian wife, Her small hand wrapped around his thick shaft was the perfect contrast and an image I still have burned into my mind to this day. She began kissing his shaft from the side before sticking out her tongue. Like a total slut she licked the length of his shaft like an ice cream bar, teasing both sides before slowly opening her mouth to receive him. I watched in awe as her lips stretched over the head, and her mouth enveloped his shaft. She began bobbing her head slowly, clearly struggling to deal with his size. It was so fucking hot to watch. I began touching myself as she sucked, waiting for the perfect opportunity to join in.
Mark's hands gripped her hair tightly as he began thrusting his hips, fucking her face. Her eyes watered as he went deeper and deeper, her lips stretching to accommodate him. She was so wet, the sound of her slurping was incredibly erotic. I couldn't hold back anymore. I climbed onto the bed, kneeling behind her as I positioned my cock at her entrance. I slowly began pushing in, feeling the tightness of her pussy as I entered. She let out a moan as I bottomed out, her ass pressing against my groin. I began thrusting slowly at first, enjoying the feeling of being inside her again. It had been too long. Mark looked at us, his eyes filled with lust as he continued to fuck my wife's mouth. I looked at her, my wife, as she bobbed her head up and down on Mark's cock, her lips wrapped around him, her tongue swirling around his shaft. The sight of her like this was too much. I began thrusting harder, faster, losing myself in the sensation of being with them. I felt like I was about to cum so I slowed down and pulled out. Seamlessly my wife turned her head and opened her mouth, offering a place to shove my cock, I took my turn, placing my dick in her mouth as she simultaneously started jerking Mark off. We stood over her as she acted like a complete slut, alternating between both of our cocks…sucking one, and stroking the other back and forth. I was barely able to hold it together for the several minutes this went on. After a small break in the flow, she unclasped her bra and continued. Mark and I grabbed a handful of each breast and toyed with her hard nipples as she alternated blowing us.
My wife was not panting from not being able to get deep breaths of air having to pleasure the two of us. As she finished sucking me I could see saliva and spit dripping from her mouth and chin as she simultaneously stared stroking both of our wet dicks. It was so incredibly hot I felt like I was going to cum again if I let her keep going. I moved things along, “I think she’s ready to be fucked.” I said, cuing Mark to put on a condom. As Mark did that, she continued stroking me as she teased, “are you enjoying yourself so far? Do you want to watch him fuck me now?” Her eyes were mischievous and lust filled. I responded, “yeah baby, I want him to make you cum.”
Mark positioned her on the bed again, this time placing himself between her legs. Like a slutty Hotwife, she instantly spread them wide, welcoming him. He slowly pushed inside her, his cock disappearing into her wet, tight pussy. She let out the loudest moan as he slowly pushed deeper, his hips almost fully reaching her. He began thrusting slowly at first, letting her adjust to his girth. I reached over and began caressing her breast, pinching her nipple as I watched them together. He picked up the pace slightly as I watched her tits bounce back and forth with the rhythm of his fucking. I started sucking on her nipples as she cried out, “fuuuck, oh my god, he’s so fucking big…it’s so fucking deep…” she continued to wince and moan as Mark began pushing harder. Now his hips were slapping against my wife’s. I could t even imagine how she was taking it. I’ve stretched her with some large dildos before but never thrusted them this aggressively.
Her hands were gripping the sheets as Mark began fucking her harder, faster. Her pussy was completely soaked, the sounds of her moans and the slapping of our bodies echoed through the room. I could feel the tension building in my own cock as I watched them together. I knew it wouldn't be long before I joined in again. I leaned in and whispered into her ear, "I want you to cum again, babe.” Her reply was breathless and lust filled, "Oh fuck yes, please make me cum. I want you to both use me.” It was all the encouragement I needed. I climbed higher onto the bed next to her head, positioning my cock at the entrance of her mouth. She reached back and guided it in, moaning as I filled her once again. "She moaned as Mark kept fucking her, her throat muscles feeling like a vibrator on my cock as she moaned, “mmmmmm.” She continued to enjoy the fucking she was getting as I began thrusting myself in and out of her mouth, giving her an aggressive face fucking. Without even gagging, she took it like a pro. I pulled out to recover and that’s when I saw her body tighten the way it does before she cums, “yes! That’s it, don’t fucking stop…keep going!” Before I could even shove my dick back in her mouth she winced and moaned loudly as she orgasmed again. It was so hot to watch.
Her body relaxed as she came down from her orgasm, her pussy clenching around Mark as he slowed down his pace. I reached over and rubbed her clit, teasing her as she tried to catch her breath. I leaned in, kissing her neck as I whispered, "you are such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" She moaned in response, "mmmmm, yes, I am. I love being your slut." I could tell she meant every word. The way she was talking, the way she was responding to his thrusts, the way she was responding to me. She was in pure bliss. Mark teased, “are you done?” I interjected, “no, I think she’s ready for more DP.” I ushered her on all fours next.
Mark pulled out of her, causing her to let out an another loud moan from the sensitivity. He positioned himself behind her, lining his cock up with her pussy from doggy style. She arched her back as he slowly pushed in, filling her well fucked pussy. She moaned loudly, "oh fuck! Ahh." Mark began thrusting gently, slowly, letting her adjust to his size again. I moved in front of her, positioning my cock at her mouth, guiding myself in, feeling her wet lips grip me as I slid inside. I began thrusting in rhythm with Mark, fucking her from both ends. She let out a mixture of moans and grunts as she was taken by both of us. Her body shook with each thrust, her tits bouncing with the motion. Watching her take the two of us made me feel like I was directing my own porn scene. My hot wife, taking the two of us like she’s done it a million times was the fucking hottest thing I could imagine.
Her moans became louder and more desperate as she felt herself getting close again. She reached back, gripping onto Mark's ass cheek as she began to cum. "Oh fuck! Yes! I'm cumming!" she cried out, her pussy clenching tightly around his cock as mine fell out of her mouth. We both groaned in pleasure as he felt her tight muscles. Her orgasm seemed to last forever this time. This time we told her to spin around. I started to slowly insert my cock into her pussy as Mark guided his dick to her mouth. My wife took him into her mouth, condom and all before abruptly stopping. “Take this off” she said as she began pulling the condom off of his dick. “Just put another one on if you fuck me again.” I pushed slowly as I watched my wife focus her attention at giving Mark head. Her pussy felt noticeably stretched and was so wet there was much less friction than I was use to. I continued to thrust harder and faster, until it was my hips slapping against hers. I watched as her head and mouth bounced up and down Mark’s cock. I knew I wasn’t going to last long and I didn’t care. I kept thrusting until making the announcement; “I’m gonna cum!” For whatever reason this seemed to get my wife and Mark very turned on to as they both moaned and grunted hard in anticipation. Mark let out the words, “give her a nice fucking load!” before he completely lost control, blowing his load, in her mouth before he could pull out. At almost the exact same time I felt my cock convulse and throb, a warm stream of cum filled her pussy just as I could see Mark with his cock out, stroking it near my wife’s hanging tits, awkwardly trying to finish ejaculating on her. To this day I’m not sure if Mark had intended to cum in her mouth but we specifically agreed he should either cum on her tits or in the condom.
All of us remained collapsed on the bed for a moment to recover. Mark was the first to break the silence and panting, “I’m so sorry, I tried to pull out in time.” My wife laughed it off, “it’s alright, I just didn’t expect it.” He went on to say it was literally the hottest sex he’s had, no exaggeration. We got dressed and said our goodbyes. Although Mark tried to nail us down for another date before we left we assured him we would be in touch after we had the time to talk and process everything. As we walked out his apartment my wife and I looked at each other like two kids who had a funny secret between them. “Did you end up swallowing?” I asked in jest. My wife looked at me after rolling her eyes, “I totally didn’t expect that…I definitely swallowed a little but spit most of it out…It wasn’t too much.”
We went home and talked over everything; our favorite moments, our least favorite moments, and what we would do differently the next time around. Recounting her first true hotwife experience naturally hit us both horny again and we were back to fucking less than hour from when we left Mark’s place but this time, I would be fucking a fully converted Hotwife.
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about to get dinner, but!! gib 👁️ (please)
17.
well considering I literally just threw a snippet of So Cries the Wolf in your direction I really should talk about this one, huh.
for starters this shit is currently going through so many revisions on the spot. it started out as a general plan, got a more detailed plan, got a full plan complete the ending, and then the plan blew up so now I'm kind of racing along like that one gif of Gromit the Dog on a model train laying down tracks as I go
there's definitely some conversations I had ideas of and managed to slot in, but also several conversations and ideas that no longer fit. I was also getting stressed about making sure all the questions were answered by the end of the story and yknow what - I've decided not to do that. not everything gets a nice tie-off or an explanation. I have a collection of ideas for me as to why certain things happened, but bringing those answers up in the story in a natural way is just not feasible. when the story is finished, I can sit down and explain, or I'll leave it to readers to debate over. if people do. it'd be hilarious if So Cries the Wolf had a theory channel, I'd eat that up
I can't really remember what inspired me first to write SCtW. I wanted something supernatural and horror, which isn't an area I'm used to, but that's part of the challenge on it. at the time I was very new to the DCA fandom and Eclipse figures were fascinating to me. like, these two guys could make a whole new guy! often imposing and terrifying. I wanted to make an Eclipse. but what kind? what setting? well, why not spooky flesh-n-blood demon? I'd seen mers, monsters, angels after all. and now I'm 47.7k words into some of the wildest shit I've written in a long time
18.
kinda mad you didn't pick a passage for me because oh my god there's so many. let's go with this scene from Chapter 3:
Caught mid-step, Eclipse hesitated. Their brow furrowed as they lifted one of their hands to their eye-line, as if seeing the circling red silk for the first time.
“No,” they said quietly. “They were not part of the design. These were given to us.” That absolutely piqued your attention.
“Given to you?”
“Yes. A gift. A reminder.”
“A reminder for what?”
“...We have forgotten,” Eclipse murmured, his voice dropping and hollow. This was new, very new for you. This was regret on his face. Sympathy turned your stomach over, urging you to approach and lay a hand on the demon’s arm. He didn’t pull away, not immediately at least. But the snarling teeth returned and he stalked back to the edge of the circle.
this was one of those moments where I was on the train, I had nowhere to write anything down, but my brain just slapped a short exchange of lines between Y/N and Eclipse and I had to type into my notes app to write in my document later. since it came to mind fairly early on, I couldn't use it right away, but I knew it would take place during a heart-to-heart between the pair and it sure did fit in perfectly
this one I enjoyed firstly because that was the first little point where it's suggested Eclipse has memories from the DCA. like yeah, technically the ribbons don't belong to Eclipse, they belong to the boys! but the ribbons ended up on him. same with the memories.
secondly fun because we got our first look at soft Eclipse. he's definitely gotten a lot softer in the last two chapters, but at this point we'd just had grouchy, griping, physically violent Eclipse. they'd been throwing temper tantrums up the wazoo, the main emotions they'd shown had been anger, irritation, and general brattiness. this got to be the first moment of their wall coming down, and it felt right that it got wound in with the ribbons - something that wasn't a physical part of them, but instead from outside
25.
Montague gets stomachaches from peanut butter. unfortunately, Montague loves peanut butter. Y/N has had to endure a number of various days where Monty decided to snaffle one of their sandwiches and ended up on the sofa in demon doggy discomfort
36.
...I did three years in circus club. take a solid guess what I was most proficient with.
jokes aside, I do a lot of hiking, so I know general forest navigation as well as animal tracking. I've learned about septic tanks by staying in cabins (way more luxurious than Y/N's but still off the water grid). I absolutely adore reading up about myths, fables, legends, cryptids, seeing who overlaps with what (okay that's less of a 'what I know' and more of a 'what I want to know more about constantly'). I know birds. I fuckin LOVE birds. and cats.
I know some things, and all of them go off in different directions, so I never feel like I can say I know everything about one thing. but a lot of the little things help with bigger things I don't know about (ish)
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lesbesapphic · 2 years
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so my favorite series of yours is the gold rush AU, and I always wondered how nat would approach reader about wanda joining them (before the contract is broken)? from chapter 2 u kinda hint at wanda starting to be part of the relationship, but i always wondered how long it would take until she was fully part of the dynamic.
hope you are doing well 💕
Thank you for the ask and i hope you are doing well as well! 💖
Gold Rush
A WandaNat AU
Warning - none just you and Natasha being fluffy. And Wanda being mean to Natasha as usual.
Buy me a coffee (if you all wish to support me 💖)
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Contract
So as we already know that Natasha (and Wanda later in series) are really really particular about communicating about feelings and insecurities to avoid any sort of problems later. Communication is the key for their relationship.
So after the first time it happened. Natasha decided to call you in her office after your college. You weren't sure why Natasha was calling you there but didn't think much of it, quickly racking your brain for any kind of trouble Natasha found out about, when none you stopped worrying.
Natasha had thought she would give you sometimes to sort out your feelings about that night before approaching the subject. Wanda and her had discussed already about how Wanda wanted to take things further with you. Natasha had no problem since it was clear that she liked both of you.
You barged inside Natasha's office and saw her reading over some paperwork while leaning against her desk, "Fuck! Sorry!" You blurted out realising how you had just barged in despite Natasha warning you several times to not to. One time you even barged in on Natasha and Wanda about to get hot. Though you wouldn't deny how much you loved being a little cockblocker to them. Literally. Since Natasha was packing that day.
Natasha raised an eyebrow at your F-bomb, she had half the mind to bend you over but decided to let go since there was a bigger matter to discuss. "You are lucky that we have something important to discuss otherwise you would be bending over this desk." Natasha tapped the desk with the file in hand for emphasis and you gave her a sheepish smile before closing the door behind you, your heart racing at what important thing could it be. Were they planning to end the contract? The file in Natasha's hand didn't help your anxiety either and you felt your hands getting cold like you were losing feel in it.
"Sorry, Mommy." You whispered but loud enough for her to hear, Natasha must have noticed the change in your demeanor as her eyebrows furrowed in worry, "I thought one is supposed to be happy getting off punishment." Natasha pointed out playfully and you gave her a light smile as you approached her.
"What do you want to discuss?" You asked and Natasha sighed, pulling you closer by your arm and engulfed you in a hug, instantly you melt into her arm, the smell of her perfume feeling your senses. "Just so you know I am not letting you go." She ran her hand through your hair as you leaned into her chest, relief falling on you, hearing her utter those words. "But.."
Your heart raced and you looked up at her in somewhat fear and worry, "If you barge in my office like that again.." A playful smile formed on Natasha's lips and you gave her an angry look, "You are so mean!" You raised your hand to slap Natasha's arm but she grabbed it instead, "I am mean?" Natasha asked in fake disbelief and you nodded quickly in answer.
"The same woman has told you a million time to not barge in? The same woman who isn't coloring your ass red right now?" Natasha asked her expression still of fake disbelief and you couldn't help but laugh and nodded, curious of what she would say next. "Fine then. Desperate times call for desperate measures." You watched the expression of seriousness falling on her face before feeling her legs wrapped around you, keeping you in between them and locking your position. Her fingers started digging into your sides as she started tickling you.
"N-No oh! Stop! Please!" You begged trying to wiggle out her grip but no use as she continued her merciless assault, her laughter echoed around the office along with yours as you begged her to stop. "Please mommy! I had too much water! I-I will pee!" You cried out trying to push her hands away but to no avail.
"Sure. Go ahead. I don't mind. Since i am oh so mean." Natasha didn't take you seriously as she continued, You could feel tears coming out of your eyes as you moved around in her grip to dodge her , "I am sorry. I-I am m-mean! You are so nice!" You begged again adding please, too out of breath to even speak now as Natasha finally stopped with a satisfied grin. "Good Kitten."
You pouted as you tried catching your breath and stepped back when she let you go, you wanted to call her mean again but refrained after the tickle attack you had gotten. You should probably get Wanda on your side to get back on Natasha. You made a mental note for that as Natasha picked up another file on the edge of the desk.
"I wanted to talk to you about Wanda." Natasha begin and you nodded slowly, waiting for her to continue, "She wants to be added in the contract." You smiled softly, happy that it wasn't something bad, even though you were scared to come here, it was worth it. "She will be giving you a separate allowance and the contract is pretty much the same as what I have with you. Though there might be some extra rules she would want you to follow. Everything is in the file that she would give you..only if you want her to become a part of this." Natasha completed and watched you with careful eyes to asses your reaction.
You didn't know what to really say, you clearly liked what was going on with Wanda though you didn't think she would want an actual contract, a part of you didn't like recieving money from her as well. That is something you plan to discuss with her later, "Sure." You watched as Natasha's face looked at ease now and felt like getting back at her, "But..I want our contract to resolve."
"What?" Natasha asked, she expected anything but that coming from you, her face paled a little as different scenarios went through her head until you started laughing and at first she didn't get it but when she got what you were doing she lurched forward to grab you but you ran away, "Y/N, Get back!"
You laughed at Natasha, "Sorry, Mommy!" You were anything but sorry as you ran to the door, jumping back in panic when it opened with force you jumped back in panic as Wanda walked in, glasses over her head and focused on her phone.
Natasha groaned behind you, "What is up with people barging in in my office?!" Natasha asked in frustration and Wand looked up, a smile forming on her lips instantly when she saw you before turning to Natasha holding up a middle finger, ignoring Natasha's muttering under her breath.
In that moment you were sure that this is what you wanted. Though the voice in your head wished if it was without a legal contract binding it.
------
Hope you are satisfied by it. Thank you for the request.
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fuckingdrawbacks · 5 months
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i still feel shitty and it pains me that i cant tell u that.
i remember winter when we still had our honeymoon phase. we walked around, holding hands, cuddling, eating those curly fries and falling asleep together. i remember walking on that winter fair the first time we went there together. it felt magical and after those two years, i still fucking wish we could go there together again. i wish we could drive in your parents car to your city, ticking each other every now and then, holding hands and resting our heads on each other's shoulders.
i remember when you got your septum piercing. you sent me to your apartment to hide those piercings and to prepare for your parents to come. i think it was early November, because i had that spooky seasonal starbucks drink. i couldn't get into your apartment because we hid the key inside the building, but i couldn't get into it. i wanted to pick the lock, but every now and then someone would walk somewhere. ultimately someone was going in and i went behind him. it's a stupid memory but i remember it so vividly. i remember the spark in your eyes when we were sitting in your room.
i remember waking up on those early winter mornings, all cold because of your fixation with opening the windows. i was really fucking cold, because you always took all of the blankets over to your side, and i wanted you to be cozy. i felt cold on my skin, but inside i was all warm, because i was laying by your side and i was so fucking happy. i wish we could go back in time, so that i still could fall asleep next to you.
i remember your sleeping face when i woke up before you. it's so clear. i don't even remember how you look now, but i perfectly recall every single detail about how you looked on those mornings. i remember your stripy shorts and your (occasionally blank) white tee. i remember you looking for your frog plushie when it fell from the bed. i always helped you look for it and i found it first pretty often. i wonder if you also have those memories. i really hope that they are not painful to you.
i wonder what you think of me; i wonder if you still love me at least a little bit.
i still hope that one day we will get together again. i don't know if i love you for who you are right now, i don't even think that i really know you right now. but i'm 1000000% sure i still love the person you were when we first met. i know that you're not that person anymore, but even if there's still a part of her in you, i still love you to death.
i wish you could read those messages, i wish they could change anything, i wish you wouldn't tell me that i should talk to someone. i wish i could talk to you instead. i wish i could hold your hand, i wish i could wake up and see your sleeping face again.
my mind has been racing a lot lately. i had troubles sleeping for a while now, but i don't think they were so severe as they are right now. the last time i fell asleep quickly and didn't feel tired when i woke up was back in your apartment. i think every single time we slept together i fell asleep quickly. i think i felt safe; my mind wasn't racing, my heart wasn't beating so hard that i could literally hear it. i've been having problems with that too. i try to fall asleep, and after a while my heart starts beating so fast that i feel like im about to faint. maybe i should get it checked out, but honestly, i don't want to live if i can't be by your side.
i don't want to be that guy; i don't want to sound like an asshole, but i feel like there's no one that will love you as much as i do. i hope that it's not true; i hope that you will find love and that you will feel loved and appreciated and that you will actually feel good. i just wish so fucking much that it could be me.
i cried so much when i came back home after that night. i lost you and all that was keeping me alive was my dog. now that she's gone too, i've been feeling nothing. i've been feeling empty, without any point in life. i feel like it's not real, that i will wake up any moment; that i will walk downstairs and that she will be there, sleeping where she always were.
i find myself breaking down more and more lately. maybe it's for the better, because after some crying i'm able to fall asleep. the only thought that puts me at ease is you. it's so fucked up that after all that time i'm still breaking down and i'm unable to calm down without thinking of you. and you don't know about it, you just play some games with him, and you spend your days without even thinking about me once. maybe it's not true and i don't want to blame you - i'm not - but it feels weird to me that i'm still addicted to you and that you don't give a shit about me. i mean, not that i'm telling you about this, so why would you. i'll be fine eventually. i really hope so.
i remember your face when you facetimed me that one time you didn't want to come home. i remember how much tears you shed; i remember how your skin was shining because of those tears. i felt so scared. you were living in a dangerous place and it was pitch black outside. i remember how my voice was breaking when i asked my dad if he could drive me over to you. i remember how scared i was when driving to you. and i remember how broken i felt when i came to your room and you didn't even look at me. i didn't expect you to come into my arms; i didn't do it for me to feel better. i just wanted to see that you were okay and i was scared that you would do something to yourself. i always cared about you so so so much, i still do. i still occasionally get thoughts that you did something to yourself, that maybe something has hit you, that maybe you fell over. i don't fucking know, i just hate not knowing if you're okay. i never cared about a human being as much as i cared about you. i don't care about a human being as much as i STILL TO THIS DAY care about you. even after all of this, you're still my everything. i love you so fucking much and i miss you so much, i can't even articulate how much i miss you. i prayed to every god i know; i even bought stupid fiverr manifestations for us to come together; i beg every power that there may be for me to wake up in the morning back in 2021. everything reminds me of you - i went outside one day to feed that cat that comes to us and i felt like when i was coming to your apartment from the bus stop. just because it was an afternoon during fall. i still fucking feel like that every time i go out. i need to focus so much to not just burst into tears every time i go outside during fall/winter. just because i remember when we used to go out when there were fallen leaves everywhere. and i miss it so much.
i still didn't remove a single picture with you. they're all there, just in the hidden section, so that i don't stumble upon them by accident. i don't want to remove them in case we get together. i don't want to lose those memories. i don't want to lose reminiscence of the last time i felt happy. and i'm not joking - i don't remember a single time i felt actually good and happy since that night when i went out to look for you. i've been feeling empty ever since. like there was a part of me locked(?), like i left something with you.
i remember when we used to go shopping; i remember listening to music with one airpod each; i remember when you put that plunger on your head, i remember walking in those funny shops looking for stuff that could be funny. i wish i put that stupid necklace on, i wish i made one for you as well. i hate myself for not doing things like that in the moment. i fucking hate myself for that so much. every time i think of it i want to kill myself right on the spot. i wish there was anything that would fix what i did or didn't do in the moment. i feel so terrible having to live with those memories. i tried to get over them; i tried to forget them, i tried to hate you, i tried to just like you. nothing helped, nothing made me stop loving you and nothing made me feel better. you told me countless times that you don't remember half of the stuff i've been reliving every, single, night. i've tried to re-associate words we used or music we listened to. nothing worked. everything still reminds me of you. you changed me so much. you made me feel loved. you made me feel what love is and what actually caring about someone is. and i don't think i will ever get over you; that i will ever love someone as much as i loved you. and that i will ever feel as loved as much as you did.
sometimes i wish my parents hated me; i wish i ran away or something. i wish i could disappear or just kill myself without hurting others. i already lost my dog, and i feel so empty without her. there were many times when i almost killed myself and every time i didn't do it, it was because i got scared of how she would feel when i disappeared; how she wouldn't know what happened to me and how she would wait for me to come back. i feel scared of what will happen when i feel the urge to kill myself.
i don't think i will ever learn to live with just memories of you. i wish we could go to that winter fair and eat sushi at your parents house again.
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egcdeath · 3 years
Text
strangers again
summary: “hiiii sweetie!! can i request a steve x reader where he left yn for peggy. but he always felt guilty and missed yn. he would always stare at her pic. when he came back he bumped into yn while she was dropping a kid to daycare. and steve realized it was his son. kinda sad but fluff at the end pls!!!! and oh i super love your works!!! tysm 🌼🥺💕”
pairing: steve rogers x reader
warnings: decent angst, brief mention of a depressive episode, abandonment, somewhat unrealistic behavior
word count: 3.8k
author’s note:  i really hope that this lives up to your expectations but it is a little cheesy. i’d also like to warn that i have not interacted with a child in several years, so.. sorry. (there’s also a lot of exposition so double sorry if that’s not your thing!)
You’d never forget the moment Steve left to return the stones, with the promise to be back in only a matter of moments.
Maybe your definition of a matter of moments was different from his.
You seemed to be the only one without a clue of what Steve truly planned to do, with Bucky only telling you after the matter that Steve was leaving for the past and for Peggy, and probably not coming back.
After finding out, something deep within you broke. You could barely leave your bed for days, you struggled to eat, sleep, even drink water. Every task that used to seem like muscle memory, began to feel like it carried the weight of the world behind it. Every hobby that you once enjoyed becoming empty and bleak.
You constantly felt inadequate. How could you love someone so much, and be told you were loved so much while always being second to someone else?
The simple sentiment of it had left you feeling miserable, and sick to your stomach. Literally. Nearly every morning, and occasionally if you smelled something too strong, you found the contents of your stomach emptied.
You attempted to ignore it at first. Meshed with every other unpleasant symptom you were going through, you’d figured that it was just one more bullet point on the list of things that had been plaguing you. But when your friends insisted that you go check up with your doctor, you had a hard time saying no.
Once you received the results from your blood test, you were completely taken aback by the fact that you were pregnant. You couldn't believe that you hadn’t considered the possibility of pregnancy earlier.
Yet,  after a long and hard period of pondering, you managed to surprise yourself once again after you realized you wanted to keep it.
After all, that could be the only piece of Steve you had left.
----
You began to tell yourself that Steve was dead. That was somehow less painful than the idea that he left you for someone that he barely knew, yet had fallen so hard for nearly 70 years ago. You refused to let yourself fall for anyone else romantically, now that you were aware that anyone had the capacity to leave you at any time, no matter how deep you perceived your relationship to be.
You guarded your heart, and made sure to only let in those that you knew you could trust for a fact. For the remainder of your pregnancy, only your closest family members and friends stood by your side.
About 8 months later, you brought a small, but healthy infant into the world. From that moment on, you promised yourself to become the best version of yourself that you could be. No dwelling on the past, and no yearning for what could’ve been. Your only duty now was to provide the best life possible for your offspring.
So you did.
----
You stood in the kitchen, peeling an orange for your son before he bounded into the room. You turned and gave him a big grin, and he grinned back to you.
“Did you get dressed all by yourself?” You asked him excitedly, receiving a nod in return before he ran up to your leg, and hugged it.
“I did, Mommy!” He looked up at you with his soulful eyes, and you couldn’t help but to feel bombarded with emotion.
Even at the tender age of five, Grant seemed to become a bit more like his father every day. The shape of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the sound of his giggle. To the average onlooker, he came across as the same as any other child, but to you, your son was the splitting image of Steve.
“Good work, little man. Now go sit at the table so mommy can finish breakfast, okay?” He didn’t even bother confirming with you before more or less sprinting to the table. You couldn’t help but to ask yourself if your son had obtained all of that energy and speed from his father as well.
Breakfast was over almost as soon as it started, and before you knew it, you were warming up your car after you’d assisted Grant with brushing his teeth.
You were in an oddly nostalgic mood that day, playing music from a time period before you’d even imagined bringing another life into the world. You glanced up at the rearview mirror and watched your son happily bop his head to the beat. You thought in passing about how much of a gift he truly was.
After arriving at his school, you hopped out of the car and over to the furthest seat in the back, where he’d insisted on sitting that day.
“You ready, big guy?” You questioned while reaching out to grab him from the car seat.
“Born ready,” he agreed. You chuckled and shook your head fondly at that while getting him out of the car.
“Who taught you that?”
Grant shrugged, “I came up with it myself.”
“I’m sure. Can you hold my hand while we’re out please?” You reached out for him, and he gladly obliged.
You soon became distracted by a large man across the street, his built figure and light blonde hair making you recall the father of your child. You gave Grant’s hand a light squeeze and continued to approach the door, not being able to help yourself, and glancing over at the man one last time.
Except this time was different. Your eyes locked with the blonde man outside of the coffee shop across the street unexpectedly. Where you once thought casually to yourself that it looked like Steve, you now had confirmation that it was in fact the man who you’d fallen in love with, and found yourself pregnant by.
You audibly gasped, receiving a bit of a questioning look from your child. Your heart dropped as a metric ton of emotions hit you all at once, anger, sadness, confusion. Everything you told yourself you needed to repress, had suddenly come back to you all at once.
Even from a distance, you swore you could see his eyes flit from you to Grant, and the next thing you knew, he was approaching your direction. Looking for an easy out, and a distraction from your rather observant child, you quickly caused a misdirection.
“Grant, is that Stacey over on the playground? You should totally go show her that new version of tag that you were telling me about!”
Your son, ever the speedster, booked it towards the playground, and you let out a sigh of relief. Although, the relief didn’t last long, as just moments later, Steve was almost all the way up to you. As you turned to try to escape, you felt a hand on your arm.
“Y/N?” He asked, almost timidly.
You weren’t even sure what to say. In fact, you didn’t feel like you had control of your own body at this point. “Steve? I-“ You ran a hand through your hair and bit the inside of your lip. “You need to go.” The pain that was rushing through you was too much for you to bare, especially considering the man who caused the hurt had suddenly decided to reappear in your life after giving you a world of self doubt and abandonment issues.
Steve seemed hurt by your statement, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand to even look at his face. “Please, Y/N, let me explain,” he begged.
“No, Steve. You don’t get that luxury. You left me for someone else, and I guess you got to live a nice, long life with her. You don’t get to just show back up in my life when you get bored, okay? I can’t afford to play those types of games anymore. Now if you’d let me go-“ You attempted to get to your car, but Steve side stepped you.
“It wasn’t like that. You know it isn’t like that.”
“Just fucking leave! You have no idea what this has all been like for me. You had your opportunity to leave, and you gladly took it. Stay the fuck out of my life, and the hell away from my son.” You grabbed the handle of your car door and got in, reeling as you watched a dejected Steve walk away.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you rested your head against the steering wheel. You were feeling way too many emotions to pinpoint exactly how you felt, but you knew that this couldn’t be good.
——
You put a brave face on for your son that day, picking him up from school in a daze, and only half listening to whatever it was that he was telling you.
You felt bad for only being able to nod along to whatever he was saying, and did he just ask you if he could get a dog? Did you just say yes?
You felt like a stranger watching yourself from the outside in. The ghost of the person you’d developed into over the years watching the past version of yourself slip right back into your body, and take over your daily routine through the next few days of your life.
You had an obscene amount of anger that soon dissolved into a deep sadness, and that sadness shorty developed into a morbid curiosity.
You spent an unreasonable, and certainly unhealthy amount of time searching your old lover’s name on tabloid websites and social media, just to see if he’d given a statement on his whereabouts, or a statement about anything at all.
After about day three of your minor internet stalking, you’d had an epiphany while sitting in your office.
You still have Steve’s number saved on your phone.
That was, of course, if it hadn’t changed between now and the years that he’d been off living in the past.
Something about knowing that you were just one text away from him made your heart race with a mixture of nerves and interest. Just one impulsive decision, and you could change the whole trajectory of the rest of your life.
If you got back in contact with Steve, you might not ever be willing to leave him. You refused to make that mistake again.
Until you did.
After reading Grant his nightly bedtime story, then wrapping him tightly in his little bed, you’d decided to treat yourself to a glass of Chardonnay.
It’d been a weird past couple of days. Your time traveling ex had randomly appeared back into your life, your coworkers seemed to get on your nerves a little more every moment you were around them, and Grant had a temper tantrum in the grocery store that afternoon over a chocolate bar, which gained judging stares from customers, and may have made you feel the slightest bit inadequate.
At least that’s what you told yourself as you filled your glass again, because two glasses can’t hurt, and again, since I kinda deserve this extra one, don’t I? The next thing you knew, the bottle was empty, and you were texting Steve for the first time in years.
Y: Is this Steve?
You watched as three white dots hovered on your screen for a moment, disappeared, then came back once again.
S: Is this Y/N?
Y: Yes.
Y: We should tlak
Y: *talk
S: I agree.
Y: So lets
Y: talk
S: I don’t think this is a conversation for texts.
Y: Then call me???????????????????
S: We should talk in person.
Y: Im not gonna do that sober
S: You’re not sober?
Y: do you think id text u sober u big fuckni asshole
S: I guess you’re right
S: So are we gonna talk?
Y: no ur gonna meet me at b cup cafe tomorrow at 10
S: AM or PM?
Y: AM I’m off
S: Are you sure you want to do this?
Y: Say yes before i change my mind
S: I’ll see you there
Y: Bye babydaddy
S: ????
You promptly deleted the messages, tossed your phone somewhere on the sofa, and sunk into the seat. Even in your not-completely-sober state, you already felt the all too familiar sense regret. You dragged the blanket that hung over the top of the sofa over your exhausted body, and closed your eyes, wishing that this was somehow all a dream.
----
It was not all just a dream.
You woke up with dried drool on your chin, and a deep pit of bad feelings and regret in your chest. Of course, you ignored the bad feelings and got ready, business as usual. You successfully dropped Grant off at school with little complications, and found yourself perking up a bit more.
Yet, something still felt slightly off. You reached into the passenger seat for your phone, and as you looked down on it, saw the familiar notification of a calendar event.  
10:00 AM b cup coff w Steeb
You groaned out loud at this. There was no obligation for you to go meet with him, but perhaps going and talking to Steve would bring you some sort of closure. Maybe then you could move on with your life, get with a nice guy who would mean it when he tells you he won't leave you, who loves Grant like he’s his own biological offspring, and to take care of the both of you through thick and thin.
You gladly daydreamed of this fantasy man while driving to the shop, but you couldn’t help but to see Steve’s face doing all of the aforementioned things. Before you even fell pregnant, that’s what you’d truly wanted with Steve. To be a family. To have your definition of home be with your people, rather than a place.
Entering the coffee shop, you briefly ordered your drink before looking around and find Steve sitting alone in a booth, mindlessly stirring around the liquid in his cup.
Timidly, you approached the booth, before setting your purse down and sitting across from him.
“You... you came?” He looked up to you with almost watery eyes.
“Of course I did,” you tried to hold yourself back from mentioning something about following through on your word. You wanted this to be as civil as possible. To build bridges rather than burn them.
“I just didn’t expect to see you in person again. And, you know, you were running a little late,” he added.
“Well, you try waking a five year old up and getting him ready for school every day,” you expelled a humorless chuckle to deflect from the slight agitation you were feeling.
“While you’re hungover?” Steve asked with a bit of a smirk, trying to lighten up the mood.
“While you’re hungover,” You confirmed, genuinely laughing now. It felt good, natural even. You’d kind of forgotten just how pleasant things used to be with Steve.
“Did you mean it last night?” he interrupted the laughter with a serious look.
“I honestly cannot remember anything I said last night. Elaborate, please?”
“That he’s mine. Your son.” He watched you silently nod, then began to speak again, “Wow, I just didn’t realize… How did that happen?” He looked down into his drink nervously.
“Well, it’s kind of hard to recall the exact details, but when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...” You trailed off, and looked up as a barista called a butchered version of your name.
You were glad to have an excuse to get up and leave for a moment. Adrenaline was racing through your body, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep your composure before you erupted into tears, or had some sort of angry outburst.
Bringing your cup back to the booth, you sat down and took a sip of the scalding drink, “Where did we leave off?”
“I believe you were giving me the birds and the bees?”
“Right! Well, I think you know the rest. I’ll tell you more about Grant later. Right now, I want to know why you left and suddenly decided to come back.” You genuinely felt proud of your delivery. This was the moment you’d practiced in front of the mirror for years, and you didn’t even butcher it.
Steve shook his head and looked into his drink once again. It was so hard to look at you, let alone make eye contact with you, when he knew that he’d been the one to give you an ocean of grief. Yet, he was somewhat intrigued by hearing that his son’s name was his middle name.  
“It’s kind of a long story,” Steve began.
“Good thing we have time,” you crossed your arms as you spoke.
“Well, waking up in a whole new time period isn’t exactly the easiest thing ever. You and me both know I missed it there, and it’s always been more than just nostalgia for me. I truly believed that I belonged back there.”
Of course, you had an idea of this, but hearing Steve confirm what you’d already thought made your insides twist.
“But I was so wrong. More than anything, I guess I was in love with a romanticized version of the past. Of Peggy.”
Hearing her name, especially from Steve, made you bristle. You wanted to interrupt him at this point, but it wouldn’t do you or him any good to become hostile while he explained himself.
“By the time I realized, it was too late. I figured you’d already moved on and found someone else to take care of you, and the world, this world, didn’t really need me anymore. But something possessed me to come back.”
“So you’re telling me that if you stopped being an idiot that just assumes things, we could’ve worked this out before? That you could’ve been an active participant in your son’s life?”
“I guess that’s a good way to interpret that story. I know I haven’t been in his life, but is there any way that I can still meet him?” Steve asked hopefully.
“Yeah, of course. He’s just like,” you sighed a bit to yourself. “He’s like a carbon copy of you. Especially his personality, but like, down to his mannerisms. I always struggled to understand how he could be so much like his dad, and never even had met him. You’ll love him.”
“Even if I didn't like him, I’d still love him.”
“How do you still manage to be such a cheeseball all the damn time? You think you’d be able to make it to dinner tonight?”
----
At exactly 6:30 on the dot, your doorbell rang, and before you even had the chance to think about opening it, Grant already was at the door, and opening it. You cringed on the inside, and made a mental note to have another conversation about stranger danger with him.
“Do I know you? Who are you?” you heard your child question from the other room as you set down the last of the plates in your dining room.  
“I’m Steve, your mom’s friend... and…” Steve nearly spilled the beans to his son, but didn’t want to cause any more damage than he’d already done. “Her friend.”
“That’s so cool! I have friends too, like Nick, and Stacey, and,” you’d rushed up to the door and wiped your brow, internally hoping that you hadn’t just smudged the makeup you’d put on for the occasion.
“Hi, Steve, come on in,” You beckoned him in, and pulled Grant to the side, quietly scolding him before leading Steve into the dining room. “Grant! This is the last time I’m telling you about opening doors, okay?” He nodded obediently, then followed you and Steve.
“Can I sit next to your friend, Mommy?”
“Is that alright with you, Steve?”
“More than fine.”
Grant sat down next to him, and scooted a bit closer than necessary, while you sat across from the two of them.
“I have to in… enter a gate you now. Because Mommy never brings any over her friends over. I didn’t know she had any friends.”
You blushed a bit at this, at your son’s overdramatic behavior, and his admission that you’d become a bit of a loner.
“Go ahead, pal,” Steve chuckled heartily.
“When did you meet my mom?”
“Before you were even born.”
“Wow! That’s a long time. You’re really old. What’s your favorite dinosaur?”
“I’ve heard T-Rexes are pretty cool.”
“Have you met any?”
You nearly spat out your drink at this. If only your son had known.
“Nope, never. Have you?”
“Hmm, not yet. But they’re my favorite dino too. Now your ‘gating is over.”
You couldn’t help but to burst out into laughter at the bizarre exchange, but you were glad that your son and Steve were getting along so well.
The rest of dinner went pretty similarly, with Grant bantering with Steve, and Steve indulging him. You could tell that the relationship between the two of them was something that came both naturally and easily. You couldn’t help but to grin as Grant began to ramble about how cool Steve was, and how he swore he was better friends with Steve than you were.
“Mommy, isn’t Steve the best? You guys should totally get married so he can have dinner with us every day!” he swooned. “He even kinda looks like me, right?!”
That’s why you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.
“Grant, Steve is… He’s your dad,” you said quietly.
Grant nodded, then slurped up a noodle, “That’s why he’s so cool! He gets it from me, right Mom?”
“That sounds right to me,” You glanced up at Steve, and noticed his surprised expression. You mouthed something along the lines to ‘He’ll process it later,’ and waved a dismissive hand, before going in for another bite of food.
----
After putting Grant to bed, You and Steve stood at your kitchen sink, bumping elbows occasionally as the two of you silently worked together to wash and dry dishes.
The domesticity and familiarity of the action brought you an obscene amount of comfort. You remembered how you once believed that this is what your future would look like. Your thoughts were interrupted by Steve beginning to talk.
“Doesn’t this remind you of life after the first snap?” He asked, breaking the silence.
“Kind of. You’re not off the hook yet, by the way. You still have plenty of explaining and proving you’ve changed to do.” You set the last cup in the cupboard, then dried your hands off.
“I know, I know,” Steve began.
“We don’t even know if you’re ready for fatherhood. But right now, I kinda don’t care. I really just want you to kiss me.” You reached up to Steve’s cheek, and he pulled you in for a soft and chaste kiss.
You’d never felt more at home.
——
me with this fic:
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369 notes · View notes
saksukei · 3 years
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mermaid yeosang au
[plenty of curses lol and also this is hella long ,,,,, so I'm sorry] This was once again inspired by warmau, please check them out! I love their writing.
other mermaid aus; yunho san
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when your friends said you were a dumb fuck you begged to differ but now you just agree
because really– you have proved how low your IQ level is when you went to the beach
It was a cloudy day and it was supposed to rain later on but you and your friends were already at the beach– so you decided you might as well enjoy
you wanted to go for a swim but all your friends refused and said that they preferred to stick to the shallow water
you went in for a swim in the deep water, where the waves form because you go out to swim pretty often ,,,, especially this place
but then it started raining cats and dogs
and the current started becoming stronger
your grade A swimming skills couldn't save you because even as you were trying to swim against the current, the water was just sweeping you away
The only thing you could hear were your friends screaming for the one second you managed to get out and then you were back in
salt water going through your nose
and you felt like this was it
because getting out of the water is impossible and you've heard countless stories of people drowning, never thinking you were going to go be one of them
and this isn't some movie where you get washed up on some shore on an island and find your way back home
and so you just let the water take you with itself
Till you felt a strong grip on your wrist
you couldn't see clearly because the salt water and the sand was hurting your eyes
but you felt something wrap it's arms around you tightly and drag you away with full force
you felt everything fade away as you lost consciousness
you eyes fluttered open and you jolted up
you found yourself on this flat rock on some unknown shoreline?
“oh good– you're up,” you heard someone say from behind you.
You turned around to see a white haired boy, prominent cheek bones, angular face, melanin skin, a weak smile on his lips
and then you noticed–
the huge gash that went from his ankle to almost his knee
“w-what ,,,,, how did this happen? Are you okay?” you asked, worryingly, as you inched closer to him.
“oh I'm a hundred percent fine!” he replied in a sarcastic tone, pointing towards his leg
hE SOUNDED LIKE A WHINY BITCH
“rude,” you hissed, as you tore your sleeve, wrapping it around his leg to cover the wound
“please stop– this ,,, it won't help,” he pointed towards the bandage.
“i know it's not great but it'll be worse if I don't do this now,” you answered.
“no you don't understand,” he interrupted, his tone stern.
“what do I not understand? This is one of the things I've been taught to do in case someone gets wounded and this prevents bacterial infection from happening–”
“I'm a mermaid,,,,,,” he confessed.
and you stopped dead in your tracks
“y-youre a ,,,,, what?” you asked him again
“don't tell anyone please,” he grumbled. “I don't want a fanclub”
“oh my god ,,,, you're a mermaid but you're also a dick, congrats!” you replied, clearly annoyed.
I MEAN WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS???
and he just rolled his eyes
“why don't you just tell me how I can help because I don't want to be responsible for murder,” you hissed.
Yeosang scoffed and kept thinking of a solution, till an idea popped into his mind, a smile on his face
You could see the light bulb over his head
“well- there are these things we use to heal and keep ourselves strong ,,,,, they're a type of seashell.....”
“oh god– this will be like finding a needle in a haystack,” you sighed.
“no actually the shell is the color of my tail which is emerald green, with white lines and we don't carry these shells with us, but rather– they find us when we are in need,” he explained.
“so can't it just ,,,,,, I don't know pop out of the ocean right into my arms?”
“if that's how it worked, do you think I would have entertained you all that long?”
“fine, you win,” you admitted, gritting your teeth
“dont hit your head on the rocks or drown like you did before–” he jabbered.
“you know ,,,,, I really miss two minutes ago when I didn't know your existence,” you retorted, as you dived into the water, missing the smirk on his face
After several minutes, you found the shell and you swam back to the silver haired boy
aND HE WAS SURPRISED AS FUCK?
“y-you found the shell?” he gulped
“yeah, why do you sound so panicky?” you asked, as you handed it to him, noticing the change in his tone
“nothing,” he scoffed. “I thought your intelligence quotient was so low that you would drown again,”
You only huffed in annoyance as you watched the gash on his leg disappear in an instant
“how did you get hurt anyway?”
“i was trying to save your dumbass from drowning.....”
he stood up and mans was taller than you
“the wound is fixed, the attitude comes right out huh?” you snapped.
“this isn't attitude, this is just–”
“no, you're just a jerk face” you interrupted, getting up.
Before you could utter another word, in one swift motion he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him
“first of all, it's not jerk face– it's Kang yeosang and second of all, I didn't have to injure myself just to save your petty ungrateful ass, but I still did.”
“well, god wanted me dead and now you get to find out why,” you managed to choke out, hoping he wouldn't notice how fAST YOUR HEART WAS RACING
He let go of your wrist as he rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time
“do you want to get back home or not?”
“yeah, so that I can forget your existence.”
He mumbled a ‘fine’ and jumped into the water
and you jumped after him
you could see his dark emerald green tail and as it came to the middle part, it become almost white, similar to his hair color
“hold on tight and pray that I don't strangle you,” he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest
I mean ,,,,,, dude was a dick but he looked hELLA FINE AND YALL SEE HIS CHEST??
he swam at literal lightning speed like you were there before you even knew it??
the storm had passed and you could see lifeguards, friends and family on the shoreline
You were in still water, small waves here and there but nothing too strong
“the coast guard is going to come here for another round to search for you–pretend you're unconscious and just let your body float,” he instructed.
“what if I get only farther and farther away from the shore?” you asked and he rolled his eyes
“you need to stop asking me stupid questions ,,,,, and- I'll be here to supervise.”
“okay then um- thank you ,,,, yeosang.”
“you're welcome–” he let go of your body and you let your body float on the water, till you felt a boat near by, eventually taking you out of the water
you eventually pretended to regain consciousness and was happy to be reunited with everyone
you also got scolded by everyone but you felt as if something was missing
sure you didn't like yeosang but he still saved you and you just ,,,,, kinda liked having him around even if he was annoying
I mean he made your heart race and get you all giddy for some ,,,,,, reason
this incident happened a little over a month ago and you spent all your time missing yeosang?? even though you like barely knew him and he was a dick lol
you went back to the beach, without anyone around and just walked along the shoreline till you felt your foot hit something
it was emerald in color?
yeosang's shell??
was he in trouble?
you panicked internally because you hoped he was okay
you picked up the shell and looked around,
but you still couldn't see him
you saw a rather large rock so you decided to swim towards it in hopes of trying to spot him from the top
and you got there but unfortunately the rock was too steep and slippery and so you were trying to find an edge where you could get on top from
unaware that Yeosang was watching you struggle and grinning at your stupidity
“you do realize– I have been looking for that ,,,, every where,” you heard someone say, making your heart race and you ended up bumping into his chest ,,,,, again
“you dick– if you were here ,,,, why couldn't you help me?”
“sorry it was fun watching you struggle–” he smirked
“rude– but I found your shell so- are you okay?” you asked with geniuine concern
He sighed, “oh god- I have to tell you something....”
“what?”
“you see ,,,,, I had originally sent you on a wild goose chase when I sent you to find my shell–”
“what do you mean?”
“actually no one except the mermaids themselves can find their own shell,” he scratched the back of his head. “unless–” he paused.
“unless?”
“unless they are your significant other....”
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
Text
PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 37
💖 first time reader click here 💖
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Five more chapters to go, guys. This is coming to an end 😭 I enjoyed writing it so, so much! In this chapter we have fluff. Literally only fluff and snark, because my babies have suffered enough. And the remainder is gonna be the same. Because fuck pain.
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Coulson was mad. Outwardly, of course, he seemed as level-headed as ever, handing out orders and signing papers out left and right, but coming to sit within five feet of him seemed like the worst mistake I had recently made. His phone was ringing practically non-stop and he answered every call, sometimes speaking in different languages I didn't understand, sometimes in rapid-fire English that sounded like Morse code to me.
I'd never been sent to the principal's office but I imagine that's how it feels like. Finally, his shoulders sagged and the breath he took in left his lungs slowly, deflating his body into a tense ball of quiet fury.
"You and mister Brock ruined months worth of investigation and undercover work," The agent finally spoke. "But I can't even be mad at you properly. We've apprehended the main culprit, detained all of his followers except select few that Dr. Xavier took upon himself to handle," His words shocked me; not at all the scolding I was expecting. A deeper part of me was even afraid I'd be taken away and buried under so much red tape not even Tony's seemingly endless money and influence could have gotten me out. "I... Really don't know what more to say." Coulson folded his hands atop the desk, looking over me with a blank look.
"A thank you would be nice," I let my mouth run before the words even really registered in my brain, the cursed thing.
The agent chortled, "Perhaps, we really do owe you a solid one," Before standing up and walking over to the coffee machine in the far corner of his office. "Coffee?" He motioned to a pile of empty cups next to it. I nodded and he set to work. "The guys should be back in two hours, tops," He remarked off-handedly, watching me out of the corner of his eye. There was no way he had missed how my body relaxed into the uncomfortable office chair at the news. "Nobody is hurt except Rogers but I think he'd find how to hurt himself even on recon duty." The man laughed, bringing over two cups of dark, delicious, steamiy hot bean juice. Nhghhgg.
"Steve is a dumbass," I agreed amicably, blowing over the rim of the cup. The stone of coffee on it's own seemed to wake up my previously anxious, half-empty half-racing brain. The past twelve hours were full of urgency, the team being called in for assistance in mere minutes after my and Venom's return to the tower.
They barely had time to wipe their tears and shelf their worries before the suit-up call came, haste hugs and kisses being traded on their way to the quinjet. Coulson showed up not much later after that, a quinjet of his own and a stack of papers for Eddie to fill out, stern instructions for me to follow him and stay glued to his side at all times. I didn't need to ask: it was obvious there was a rat in SHIELD, again. Thankfully, the rat was discovered before they could come and try to increase their odds by doing something to me; I'd hid out in Coulson's office, crashing down into a strange, most likely Venom-induced sleep as footsteps raced past the door.
I'd woken up anxious and disoriented, the owner of the office pacing along the furthest wall and pointedly whispering into his cellphone. The rest was history.
"Your father called," The agent remarked, watching my reaction carefully. "Said to call him back whenever you can."
I was drained, beyond wrung out, and not just from my latest stunt as a parasitic symbiotic alien's host. The past couple of months were a nightmare, an anxiety-riddled, paranoia-spiced mess of a shit show. I was very much looking forward to breathing freely and enjoying my science without hiding my WIPs, enjoying my relationship (s) without fear of being abducted and sending my men into a panicked, destructive spiral.
My voice remained even as I carefully contemplated and spoke my next words. "He can go fuck himself. Him and that harpy of a woman," I sighed: disappointed in my parents, but not surprised. "I'm freshly out of fucks to give. I'm done."
Coulson, if he even was surprised, didn't show it. His expression remained neutral and supportive. "I understand you. There's enough basis for us to aid you in creating a new identity for you, if you'd like," He pushed a stack of papers towards me.
I chewed on my lip in contemplation. It would be handy, sure, I could be rid of the curse that became of my family name and my parents couldn't legally do anything at all to me; on the other side there was my name plastered on several inventions and projects I'd done over the years. In all my years, I was taught that my name is to be my business card.
The decision was obvious. "No, thank you," I looked at him, hoping to convey the sincerity. "I think I will be okay."
He smiled and went back to his paperwork, all but verbally dismissing me. As soon as I finished my coffee and washed the mug, the couch called to me once again and I curled up under the fleece blanket Coulson had thrown over me while I slept, alternating my attention between sneaking glances at his concentrated form and my cellphone and the few meager games it had. There was no signal and no wi-fi access on the Helicarrier. Security reasons, blah blah blah...
A knock sounded out, startling me out of my sluggish thoughts; one of Coulson's hands crawled down to one of the drawers on his right side where I assumed he had hidden a gun. "Come in," He called out, shooting me a pointed look. I sat up, alert.
"M'here to pick up - uh - a Baby," A tired but amused, familiar voice called out. Clint stepped into the room, still wearing his dirty and bloody uniform, and, as my eyes briefly scanned him, the archer appeared to be unhurt save for a few bruises here and there. His eyes landed on me immediately, visibly relieved.
"Waa," I deadpanned indignantly, raising my hands like a toddler would do when they wanted to be picked up. The only thing Clint was missing was a courier's ball cap.
"I assume the mission went smoothly?" Coulson asked, a soft grin and even softer eyes landing on our interaction.
Clint nodded affirmative, walking over and picking me up with ease, disregarding my shierk completely and stopping only when I poked him in the ear - closest appendage to me - in retaliation. His eyes were laughing and his tone was flat. "Caw caw, motherfucker," He announced to me flatly, waving goodbye to Coulson.
We passed more than a dozen agents giving us the biggest side-eye as I dangled over his shoulder, ass up in the air, fiddling with the numerous straps of his gear as Clint power-walked us to the Avengers quinjet. I'd even stuck out my tongue to some dude pointing a finger at us.
My family was already loaded into the vehicle, all in various stages of dirty, bloody and undressed. Coulson's words were true - only Steve sported a wide bandage over his shoulder, neck and head - one look at Bucky and I just knew the Captain would be regretting his stupidity in a few hours time. Even Stephen was there, looking unhurt but very annoyed and tired, as he hovered a few feet off the ground with Cloaky majestically swaying behind him.
"And what the fuck was that little performance for?" I asked once Clint deposited me in the very front row, between a dozing Bruce and a tinkering Tony.
"I had strict instructions from the Hulk," The archer grinned, pushing a few buttons on the dashboard of the vehicle. In seconds, we took off home.
"Oh, hi," Bruce must've heard his green counterpart being mentioned; his eyes cracked open just as I smiled at the scientist and reached over to brush his curly mop of hair out of his face. "M'yes, Hulk is demanding you do not set foot on the ground these days," Bruce was sleepy and warm, so soft when he kissed my hand, I felt my heart swell.
"Gonna spoil me rotten, you lot," I snorted, keeping the happy smile and the warm feeling as Stephen came back from the Astral world, opening his eyes and giving me a grin of his own.
"That's my job," Tony mumbled, still very occupied with a part of his suit. I turned around expecting a kiss; I had to stifle an ugly snort upon discovering one of the parts of his Iron Man suit got damaged and stuck, making a part of the chestplate render one of his arms temporarily immobile. Tony looked like a frustrated toddler building Legos.
"Someone get me a screwdriver and some pliers," I gently pried away the calloused fingers away from the jagged piece of metal, kissing Tony's cheek in the moments until Natasha handed me the required instruments. Tony was free, grimacing in discomfort as he stretched and rotated his arm, in little under ten minutes. "What happened to the nanosuit?" I asked, not remembering the last time I'd seen Tony in one of his older, clunkier creations.
"They had some sort of technopath mutant," He grumbled - I had discovered the source of his ire. "Turns out, Bruce snuck in my special anti-mutant suit I'd made ages ago. Nanosuit got destroyed in seconds and Hulk had to carry me back to the quinjet for a change of equipment," Despite his sour mood, Tony was visibly more relaxed than since the day I confessed I'd been drugged. "Brucie-bear, this is exactly why it remained a prototype."
"It's better to get stuck in a suit than to be a meat pancake on the sidewalk," Used to Tony's tantrums, Bruce merely blinked and continued eating the chocolate that he procured only God knew where.
I locked eyes with Stephen, both of us shaking our heads in almost identical, semi-fond semi-annoyed way. Ah, sweet sweet normalcy.
There were towers of pizza boxes as we arrived in the tower; a couple of agents got all but yeeted out by Tony, with little to no thank you as they had been the ones that arranged the food for us - still, I understood Tony's dislike of the super-secret organisation and merely paid the two for the pizza, politely waving goodbye as they side-eyed Tony with disdain.
Then, I had to tow both Clint and Thor as they attempted to begin eating, still wearing muddy bloody clothes - of course, I did not possess the physical strength required to handle two adult men, so I merely began a small lecture on parasites (Stephen gleefully joined in) and both of them scattered towards the showers like two spooked little first-graders.
I also used the brief moment of stagnation to hug Loki; these days he didn't freeze in surprise but rather warmly hugged me back, whispering something cheeky to me as I buried my face in his chest. Stephen was the one to cough extra-loudly to attempt to separate us - it was, once again, unanimously decided to have a family dinner and a cuddle pile straight after. Food coma had never sounded nicer.
"So, what'd Coulson say to you?" Clint asked curiously as we all settled in, freshly showered and those who needed it, re-bandaged. I was warm and toasty between Tony and Stephen, wearing the former's gym shorts and the latter's hoodie, Bruce's t-shirt underneath it. The scientist himself was drooling onto Tony's shoulder, somwhere between sleep and awareness, glasses askew.
"He basically thanked me and offered me a new identity," I shrugged, polishing off the last of my smoothie and handing the second bottle over to Loki. As usual, no food was wasted and I always had someone to finish my leftovers, especially since Bucky tended to think I could eat as much as him and kept trying to overfeed me like a foie gras goose.
"Congrats, you've been adopted," Natasha snorted from her place between Clint and Steve. Only the red of her hair was visible behind the man-bulk and the blankets.
"Uh," My response was, as always, deeply informative and astute.
"He likes to take in strays," Clint full-belly laughed. "Me at first, then Natasha. He's got a soft spot for Tony and Bucky but he won't admit it."
My eyebrows rose. "That's... That's my job?" I remembered the whole Venom/Eddie situation, our rogue wizard. Coulson was aiming for my place- the audacity! "He can't just do that!"
"And you can?" Stephen's finger booped my nose, making me huff and cuddle up to Tony, turning my butt towards the sorcerer to show him exactly what I thought about his observations. He only laughed harder. "Sounds like someone's a little jealous."
"Okay, boomer," I rolled my eyes. Stephen Strange, a supreme troll is what he is.
"But that's why you love me," He continued as others around us groaned and snorted, too used to us teasing each other about our age difference and my old man kink. Whatever, I got to bang my hot old men anyways.
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wafflesareluv · 3 years
Text
LoA fanfic, takes place after MC becomes junior partner. There's a bit of NSFW content. Enjoy reading!
1.3k words.
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Quinn has wanted this for a very long time now. Sitting at the edge of Hoi On's rooftop, gazing at the night sky while holding Gabe Ricci's hand, getting this couldn't have been tougher. But it's really, really worth it. They're official now, their coworkers know about them and being able to be there for Gabe as someone more than a junior partner, receiving the same affection from him has been heartwarming and comforting to say the least. "If I may dare interrupt your chain of thoughts, Michaels?" his deep voice brought her back to the present moment. Gabe wasn't one for nicknames, he never saw the appeal and Quinn rolled along with it. She shook her head and smirked "I dare charge you a penalty for that, Mr Ricci." "And I wonder what it'd be?" he quipped in a suggestive murmur. Her smirk widened as she withdrew herself from his grip "Now, that wouldn't be a penalty for you, Mr... I say you sing our song." He reluctantly pulled out his phone for the karaoke video "Ahh, that song, you'll remember it forever, won't you?" "Of course I will, it's special" she said. Her previous chain of thoughts as Gabe put it, has returned. She thought back to the day Gabe Ricci became her boyfriend. They had been casual until now, several evenings and nights well spent. Even though Gabe said he cared, more than he would like to admit, he hadn't been as forthcoming as she'd like. That's who he is, so Quinn decided it was time to push her luck further. She wasn't sure how to ask him, what if she loses what she has, thinking of what could have been? What if this is too much to ask of him? He didn't exactly have the best experience in relationships, would he be able to take the leap of faith? She knew she was overthinking when her coffee spilled out from the mug in the espresso machine and she didn't notice it right away. "Get a hold on yourself, Quinn! He said you're too irresistible for your own good, he might just say the feelings are mutual.." she thought. Aislinn who was waiting for her turn, laughed "You sure that coffee would suffice? You're practically daydreaming...and lemme guess, about a certain senior partner.." "Aislinn! Keep your voice low!" Quinn sounded alarmed. Aislinn's eyes lit up "So she didn't deny it! He's a catch, but so are you, Quinn. He'd be blind to not see that. You go get him and I'll get my coffee." "How did you know what exactly I was hesitant about?" Quinn couldn't help but wonder. "Anyone who has a keen eye can tell that you are fidgety these days and anyone who knows you, can tell the reason behind it." Aislinn's response made Quinn smile, both of them grew very close in the past few months. She also knows a thing or two about what's happening between Quinn and Gabe. On the way back to their cabins, they saw Gabe taking his briefcase and stepping out into the hallway. Aislinn mouthed the words "Just do it" and slipped into her office. Quinn glanced at him and their eyes met, he shot her a smile. "Going somewhere?" was all she could manage, her mind was racing at the speed of light. "I'm leaving early, utilising my monthly day off. Too much of work lately." There was a pause as he eyed her in the way that would make her shift from one leg to the other, "Care to join me? It's almost time for you to leave anyways." Normally this is where she'd reply wittily but not today. She simply nodded and collected her overcoat, all the way shocked at her own quiet nature. "This is how much you and thinking about you influence me, Gabe Ricci" she wanted to say, instead she walked along side him and got into his car. "Your place is stunning, not as much as you, but stunning nonetheless, good thing you have an old lady with a hearing ailment as a neighbour" his words were distant yet she felt her eyebrows shoot up and her lips quirk into a small smile, he will always have this effect on her. With him, there was never a dull moment. Around him, she'd completely lose herself in him, literally and metaphorically or just look at him and feel content. Either way, he takes over all her attention and she knows
it's the same for him. Yet, his past makes her question if he would be ready to get into a serious relationship. Reaching her apartment, they get inside followed by freshening up. Yeah, Gabe even has a spare set of clothes in her flat and still she's tentative about the thing she's gonna ask him about. She needed to be herself and talk with him, she made a mental note to reduce her overthinking. As if on cue he called out "I see a couple of vegetables and a standard staple of bread, are sandwiches good to go?" "It's always good when you cook, Mr Ricci, one of the many talents your hands have mastered" she grinned as she walked in to the kitchen. "There is the smart mouth I like, you were being uncharacteristically silent" he was tossing the chopped onions into the pan. "So the great Gabe Ricci likes it when I'm not quite huh?" as soon as words left her mouth, his hands were at her sides while he worked his tounge, making her gasp and then moan. "There, did you ever hear those hot moans coming out of that pretty mouth? Who wouldn't like that?" just like that he was back to sauteing the vegetables, as if he wasn't doing anything sinful just seconds ago. Whereas she was still reeling from his assault, "Damn you, Ricci! Always composed and efficient" she cursed at him in her mind. Though she did that, she had to admit, Gabe was unpredictable and she liked that, his touch and the kiss.. they're electric.. the only one way she would describe them- wait, that's it! She walked towards the counter, placing the plates and cutlery, she also put a note which goes like "Before the dinner, your stunning host wants you to see in the balcony, come there as soon as you read this. Xoxo.” As expected, he was walking towards her and it was perfect, she had the fairy lights on. "Listen to the song properly Mr Ricci, that's exactly how I feel about you" was all she said before she played
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Electric love by BØRNS. When it ended, she looked him straight in the eye "Gabe, these few weeks have been the closest to what I'd call "perfect" and that's because of you. What we have right now, I like it but I'd also like to cherish every single thing with you and be that someone you'd be with everyday. Now that I've got it, I can't let it go and I want more Gabe. Would you do the honour of being my boyfriend, Gabriel Ricci?" He didn't speak for painstakingly long moments and his face, inscrutable as ever, it gave away nothing. Then at once he closed the distance between them. "No one has caught my eye like you did, Quinn. Everything about you is fascinating, I just want to spend more time with you. So, yes, now might I indulge my girlfriend in a dinner and then drown her in electric love as per her request?" Quinn laughed with all her heart and kissed him languidly on the lips, while she entwined his fingers with hers. And then, on their 100th day as a couple, they're here. Fingers entwined, hearts fulfilled, their song "Baby, your electric looove oooh" playing in the background as they looked at eachother with smiles just like people who're undoubtedly in love.
@lawsofattractionfanfiction
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Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 15
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Woooo! Behold, the reignition of Magic and Miracles and BEYOND.
So, in case anyone was wondering, why yes, yes this does come from personal experience. Being in a high speed car accident SUCKS. Being careflighted from the scene and having all your clothes cut off of you, SUCKS. Having a tube crammed down your throat and being put on a breathing machine SUPER SUCKS especially when your brain wakes up and you're screaming at your body to breathe AND IT WON'T FUCKING LISTEN, SSSSUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKSSS. Having your mother, who you love dearly and your world would fall apart if anything ever happened to her be in the passenger seat with you in said accident OH MY GOD, IT SUPER DUPER SUCKS and she was just as scared and freaked out about me as I was about her. And yes my mother's ribs were broken and it took her forever to recover. Because usually if your arm is broken, you put it into a cast and you don't use it or touch it, it's fine. But your RIBS? You need to breathe! Constantly. There is no putting it into a cast and not moving, you need them to move so you can keep breathing! And it FUCKING HURTS.
Also, there is a nod to canon FFXV Kingsglaive in this too.
@the-immortal-marshal this is for you. This is your chapter. If you had not shown me the ways of the angst and I had not gone through what I have, this chapter may have never been written because I couldn't write it from experience. So, to balance all of the previous sweetness, here is- the angst, the hurt, the sorrow, the fear, the terror, the anguish and all of the wonderful- put your stomach in a knot anxiety. Enjoy.
Magic and Miracles and Beyond
Chapter 15
Two weeks later-
“Ok, we’re on our way to pick up Grandma Edie and then we’ll meet you there ok? Love you, bye.” Selena informed Ravus as she and her mom Sabrina were on their way to pick up Edith to take them to the florist to pick out flowers for Selena’s wedding and just as they were about to go through an intersection for a green light, two cars, a red brand new charger and a brand new black camaro, who had been racing each other, driven by the now graduated William Ronchester, aka Billy, the former captain of Niflheim Academy's football team and one of his former teammates- Chad Frawns, as the cars ran the red light and t-boned them, hitting the passenger side of the car where Selena was sitting and crashed their vehicle into the cars on the other side of them and thus into the cars that were starting to come in from the other side, so that it involved the already ten lanes of traffic, two lanes of traffic plus a turn lane in each direction, in the impact and carnage, Sabrina’s car got crumpled and overturned, pinning Sabrina and Selena between several other cars and upside down.
“Selena!” Ravus yelled into the phone when he heard the crash and her blood curdling scream through the phone and then the call dropped and when Ravus tried calling her back, it went straight to voicemail before he got on the app that showed where they were and rushed to his mom’s office from his own.
“Mom! Selena just crashed!” Ravus boomed as he came into his mother’s office before Sylva’s eyes went wide.
“I have to call you back.” She said into her phone as she quickly got up.
“Where? Where did Selena crash?” Sylva asked.
“At Kilgore and Stadium.” Ravus answered as his heart was pounding in his ears.
“Ok, ok, get down to the emergency room, I’ll dispatch an ambulance.” Sylva assured her son as she hit the speed dial on her phone and did just that as Ravus nodded and turned and hurried out and called Gladio.
“Please tell me you are out on patrol.” Ravus pleaded with Gladio.
“Yeah, why?”
“How close are you to Kilgore and Stadium, Selena just wrecked, she’s with her mom.” Ravus answered as he practically willed the elevator to get to the ground level as fast as it could.
“We can be there in about seven minutes.” Gladio told him.
“Dad, Selena and her mom just wrecked. We got to go make sure they’re ok. Kilgore and Stadium.” Gladio repeated to his father.
“On it.” Clarus nodded and put the sirens on and just then, a call came in about the crash over the radio before other first responders got called in as Sylva quickly got rooms ordered and readied for Selena and her mom and whoever else was in the crash as Ravus called Dorian. “Dorian, Selena and Sabrina just crashed.” Ravus informed his soon to be father in law.
“I know, I just got the call from Sabrina, they got t-boned, two knuckleheads were racing each other and ran the red light. They’re alive, I don’t know how ok they are though. I’m on my way there now, call Nyx for me, I gotta drive.” Dorian requested as he hastily left work to go there.
“Will do.” Ravus answered before he called Nyx.
“Nyx, your mom and your sister just got into a car accident. Your dad said he got off the phone with your mom so they’re both alive, I just don’t know how hurt they are.” Ravus informed Nyx.
“Where?” Nyx asked.
“Stadium and Kilgore.” Ravus answered.
“I can be there in five.” Nyx said since that was closest to his work.
“Stacy! My mom and Selena were in a car accident, I gotta go!” Nyx hollered as he literally dropped what he was doing and made a run for the back door as Libertus picked up the dishes Nyx was about to finish before Nyx had dropped them and finished them and put them out before he quickly called Crowe to let her know what had happened since it was her day off.
Ravus finally got down to the ER and logged in to see which room Selena would be going into as he could see that his mom had already registered her to a room before he heard the code, it was an accident that involved several vehicles, one was overturned and first responders were on scene as many others were rushing in as dozens of ambulances were sent into the scene.
Ravus knew from the descriptions that the red overturned vehicle- was Sabrina’s before Sylva appeared in the ER only a few moments after Ravus did as she walked them to the nurses’ station.
“Sabrina’s car is overturned.” Ravus revealed to her as Luche came only a moment later.
“I’m so sorry Rae, hopefully they’re both ok.” Luche offered as Sylva nodded as she gently moved Ravus from the computer as she quickly got in there and made more arrangements in the computer and Ravus was too sick with fright to take notice of what was happening as Luche just put his arm around Ravus’ shoulder in an effort to comfort him. Remembering how sick with worry he was when Ada had been kidnapped before Sylva put them into the room Selena would be going into to get out of the nurse’s and doctor’s way in the nurses station.
Meanwhile Tredd had suited up and came with the other firefighters to the scene since his firehouse was only a few minutes away and his stomach dropped when he recognized Sabrina’s car and he was the first one off the truck as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him over to Sabrina’s car and recognized Sabrina as the airbags were deflating and hanging down as he cut them out so he could see them easier as Selena had passed out, her limbs had gone limp as her right arm hung down, clearly broken and mangled as her left arm hung as well while her legs were pinned inside the crumpled footwell, her promise ring and engagement rings sliding off her fingers and dropping to the broken glass that covered the mangled ceiling of the car as blood started dripping from all of Selena’s right side since she was the passenger seat.
“Get her out, get her out!” Sabrina screamed as she tried to reach over to touch Selena’s left arm to make sure she was still alive because upon impact, Selena had instantly screamed and when the car came to a stop, Selena had lost her phone in the wreck but Sabrina’s was still in it’s holder on the crumpled dash which allowed Sabrina to call Dorian but after that first scream, Selena went deathly quiet and Sabrina had feared for the worst and was screaming her head off for help. Tredd cut Sabrina out of the car and with herculean strength pulled her out and into the arms of the other EMT’s who had come to her aid before other’s came as Tredd crawled into the space where Sabrina had been to get to Selena.
“Selena!” Tredd yelled, hoping to get a response.
“Jaws of life! I need the jaws of life!” Tredd called as he tried to make sure she was still alive and felt some relief when she was at least breathing and had a pulse but he could see the blood seeping into her clothes as Selena's body simply hung there from the seatbelt.
“Come on Selena, you gotta stay with me, come on baby girl, pull through.” Tredd tried to coach as his fellow firefighters came with the jaws of life and crowbars to untangle the crumpled door and side panels to get her out as Sabrina was loaded into an ambulance and immediately taken to the hospital as Tredd held Selena's neck in place and kept his fingers on thumbs on her pulse to make sure her heart was still beating.
“The car is starting to smoke! It’s gonna catch fire! We gotta get her out!” His captain hollered as the others worked on breaking her out and what felt like hours but was in reality only minutes- they got the door and body panel off before Tredd let go of her neck as an EMT secured it with a C-collar and flipped onto his back to catch Selena once her seatbelt was cut as paramedics and Gladio came over to help get her out of the carnage and onto a stretcher before she was rushed to another waiting ambulance as Tredd had rolled over and noticed her rings and quickly picked them up and pocketed them and got out of there just as the car then caught fire just as Nyx ran to the scene.
“Selena!” Nyx hollered as he ran towards them.
“That’s her brother, let him through.” Gladio and Tredd told the paramedics who let him approach.
“Selena?” Nyx asked as he grabbed her hand and squeezed but she didn’t squeeze back as Selena was strapped into the stretcher.
“She’s not responsive, I got a pulse and breathing but it’s shallow and awfully quick and she’s unconscious.” Tredd reported to the EMT’s as Gladio, Clarus and him ran with the stretcher and EMT”s.
“And these came off of her.” Tredd said as he gave Nyx the rings as Nyx simply grabbed them and put them into his own pocket before he got in the ambulence with Selena as Dorian had already gotten into Sabrina's ambulence with her as Libertus got off work and drove Crowe to the scene to pick up Nyx's truck and take it to the hospital.
“We’ll clear a path.” Clarus offered as he and Gladio left with Selena’s ambulance as the others who had come and gotten their charges from the accidents as Tredd then took care of putting Sabrina’s car fire out before he tried to salvage what he could from it, like their purses and other personal affects and sent them with Crowe and Libertus who came shortly after Selena left as Tredd told them what he found when he got there before he got called back to help with the others who had gotten invovled in the crash.
Meanwhile on the way to the hospital, Gladio called Ravus back.
“Ok, Tredd got to them first, he got Sabrina out of the car and helped pry Selena out of it. The fire department had to use the jaws of life to get her out before the car caught fire. Ravus, she’s...she’s not responsive. She’s barely breathing and has a weak pulse and she’s bleeding, a lot, Nyx is following us to the hospital. Right now we’re leading the way to you.” Gladio gravely informed him as his own tears flooded his vision as emotion choked his voice, never wanting to find his friends like this.
Ravus simply closed his eyes and winced as tears continued to stream down his face as his heart dropped and gut knotted up anxiously as he sat down in the room that Selena would be taken to once she got there as Sylva was still orchestrating all the surgery rooms if there needed to be any surgery for Sabrina or Selena as she also pulled all available nurses into the E.R. because she needed all hands on deck for the sudden influx of patients.
Sabrina was brought in first as her clothes were cut off of her as she was checked over before Sylva managed to squeeze into the room as Sabrina answered the nurses and doctor’s questions as best she could as they checked her over.
“Has anyone heard anything about my daughter? She was with me in the crash, she wasn’t responsive when I left.” Sabrina asked as tears streamed down her cheeks from inside the C-collar neck brace.
“Sabrina, she’s on her way here, Tredd pulled her out of that wreckage himself, she’s alive, she’s coming straight here, right now, just focus on your own recovery. I swear on my life we will do whatever it takes to make sure she’ll pull through.” Sylva offered as she came into view from Sabrina’s head and held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Thank you Sylva.” Sabrina thanked her before a roar of medics barking codes at the nurses was heard. “That’s her, I gotta go.” Sylva said as she quickly slipped out of receiving room into the others and simply stood on the wall and listened closely and watched as Selena was also cut out of her clothes, quickly intubated and rushed into a CT scan as she followed and Sylva’s heart was in her throat when she saw the blood pooling into Selena’s brain and had to cover her mouth to keep herself from crying out as Selena was then rushed into surgery as Sylva herself got prepped for surgery too and made sure she had multiple teams working on Selena as Sylva was silently praying like her life depended on for Selena to pull through as she did her best to kick into doctor mode since she had more than enough adrenaline pumping through her body and mind to do so.
Crowe and Libertus came and gave Ravus Selena's purse before going to Dorian to deliver his wife's purse as well as her phone that had been on the dash before they returned to Selena's room as they, Luche, Ravus, Nyx and Luna all crowded around the computer in Selena’s room as Ravus cradled Selena’s bloodied and scratched and damaged rings in his hands as Selena's purse was between his feet as Nyx had handed them to him before Pelna, Yasmine and Stella came rushing in, Yasmine, putting her own medical coat on since she was in the doctorate program already as she, Luna and Stella poured over the medical jargon.
“I got a call from Pashmina who heard from Gladio that Selena’s in the OR.” Yasmine explained before she got around to the computer to see everything.
“Fuck!” Yasmine cursed as she read through it.
“Everyone start praying, Selena will need a miracle. She has a brain bleed, but they're trying to relieve it by going in through her arteries and pulling the blood out that way, instead of cutting her head open, a brain bleed that means blood is rushing into her skull and putting pressure on the brain, if they don’t relieve the pressure, either artillary or otherwise, she’ll either be a vegetable or could very well die. Her seventh through twelfth ribs broke and they punctured her lungs and her liver, that’s why she can’t hardly breathe and she’s inundated and she’s bleeding internally because of the punctured liver and the broken ribs punctured her side, so she’s bleeding externally and internally. But good news is her spine doesn’t seem to be damaged, so far, so yay on the paraplegia and possible quadrapalegic, we’re still waiting to see if her legs are broken or not but her right forearm is definitely broken in two places, both the radius and the ulna, compound fractures but her top priority is that brain bleed and punctured liver and lungs.” Yasmine offered as the rest of them simply wept and prayed because there was nothing else for them to do.
Meanwhile-
Selena was having the most peculiar dream, she was on a beach as she saw a really blonde guy painting a picture as two little blonde kids played in the sand, making a sandcastle with their mom but they either didn’t see her or were ignoring her.
“Selena,” the guy called her over as he smiled and waived her over. He looked familiar. Almost like a cross between Ravus and his uncle Vincent.
“Well hello there, it’s a pleasure to meet you, sit and rest a while.” He invited as he gestured to the sunchair next to him in the sheltered cabana after they shook hands.
“Your artwork is beautiful.” She praised as she saw it.
“Why thank you, no matter how many times I’ve repainted this picture, it’s never quite perfect.” He mused as he looked from the picture to the scene he was trying to paint.
“Repainted it?” Selena felt compelled to ask.
“Yup. I’ve repainted this picture many times, in more styles than I can count. But I always come back to this one, trying to make it look as real as I can, like a photograph. Like Paul Cezanne, painting his favorite mountain over and over again, trying to get it perfect.” He mused with a soft chuckle.
“Why this one?” Selena asked.
“Because this is one of my favorite memories. Ravus and Lunafreya aren’t arguing or fighting over anything, they’re getting along wonderfully. Sylva is happy and fully immersed into motherhood, the one thing she feels in her heart she was meant to do but her body wouldn’t agree. And she isn’t being pulled in a thousand and one directions, by her work, by her parents, or anything else. She’s simply present and enjoying the moment without having to always figure out and plan for the future. She always looks so young and her energy is equally so, but her soul is quite old, all the worry taxes her quite a bit. But she’ll always be my ray of sunshine.” He praised as he watched his family fondly, trying to make sure he got the hue of their blond hair just right as he mixed white with yellow with a pinch of gold and tan.
“Ravus and Lunafreya?” Selena repeated as she looked from the painting to the little kids and looked closer at them as she tilted her head and recognized them as children.
Suddenly her body felt really warm like it was getting sunburnt as the air got super hot and it was hard to breathe before the cabana stretched over both of them even more as the warmth and burning abated and it felt easier to breathe before pain started to seep into her body as she started to rock and clutch her middle like she had been kicked by a horse or something. Selena wanted to scream but she couldn’t.
“Selena, just breathe, just focus on my voice and the sound of the ocean, it’ll be ok.” He urged before the pain started to slip away again as she felt her body relax again before she noticed a strange bird nearby- chirping a beeping sound. It was kind of annoying but Selena was just grateful she wasn’t in so much pain now.
“Here, now you try.” He insisted as he handed her a canvas as a easel seemed to appear out of nowhere before helping her set up her own palette, sharing all of his paints and getting her set up before she started painting her own picture of them but one moment she could see Sylva, Ravus and Lunafreya as she looked from them to the canvas and, the next when she looked up, she could see Ravus only as an adult now, as he helped three kids build a sandcastle, two little girls, both as blonde and fair as he was, the eldest girl was only 5 or six, the other was only two, then a little boy, who looked to be about 4. He had her darker complexion and brown hair and was just darling as he was carefully sorting through all the seashells, organizing them according to size and kind while the youngest was simply squishing the soft sand between her chubby little fingers over and over again and giggling at the texture while the oldest worked most diligently with Ravus about setting up the base of the sandcastle as she pushed the sand into the bucket and drenching it and making sure the sand was dense and as solid as it could be before she dumped it very carefully where Ravus had directed to her as Selena just watched on happily before she felt a strange yet familiar weight in her abdomen as she laid back into the sunchair and noticed she was pregnant and watched as her feet were impossibly swollen as she simply resigned to enjoy the scene as she sipped on a refreshing but non alcoholic drink as she watched Ravus under his own big umbrella to shield himself and the kids from the scorching sun as it was now the artist in her cabana, the art supplies and canvases now long gone.
“Now, isn’t that a sight you wish you could make last forever?” The artist asked her as he watched the scene with happiness, pride and fondness with a bittersweetness in his eyes.
“Yes.” Selena answered happily.
“Now all you have to do is hang on, just hold onto life as hard as you can. Pain is coming, but you can endure it. If only to enjoy this. You’ll get there, you just got to endure the pain.” He advised her as Selena once again felt pain wrack her body and it felt like she couldn’t hardly breathe.
“Wait for the air, it’ll come, remember, three taps, they mean “I love you”, three squeezes, you can do it, three squeezes.” He urged her as he turned to her and held her left hand and squeezed three times before Selena mirrored the motion as air finally got pushed into her lungs as she breathed in as deep as she could before it was gone again, like it was being sucked out of her a moment later.
“Just wait, it’ll come right back. Just keep your eyes on them, just focus on them , your family, they're worth living and surviving for. The air will come. Just hold onto them. Don’t lose your focus. You have to get through the nightmare before you can make this dream a reality. You can do it Selena, I have faith in you, I’m so proud of you and I am so grateful and thankful for you to come into my family’s lives, you’ll be ok, it’s not time for you to leave them yet, not for a good, long while. Remember, I love you- three squeezes, one, two, three, three taps, one- two- three.” He insisted as he did it again as she did it back.
“Just don’t let go.” He repeated before Selena could hear yelling and machines and the beach started to fade to black as she tried to hold onto him.
“Selena, come on, pull through. You can do it.” The artist’s voice morphed into Sylva’s voice.
Sylva had been talking to Selena, begging her to pull through as she held Selena’s hand as she watched her face before Selena’s hand squeezed her hand back in a pattern of threes as Sylva’s eyes went wide as tears continued to flood her vision as a hopeful smile soon threatened to bloom as Sylva squeezed back three times, like all the times she and Victor would squeeze and tap each other in their way to say ‘I love you’ back when they first met and because Sylva had never heard ‘I love you’ spoken to her often, she had a hard time saying the words so Victor and her worked out that three squeezes, three taps, meant “I love you”. She knew Ravus knew about this, she just felt that he must have told her about this as she hopefully returned the three squeezes before Selena did it back again, over and over again back and forth.
“Atta girl Selena! You’re doing great! We’re almost done, hang on! Just hang on a little longer. You can do it!” Sylva encouraged as she kept squeezing back three times as much as she could.
“Just keep squeezing my hand, let me know you’re still there Sweetheart, listen to my voice, you’re on a breathing machine, just wait for the machine Darling, the air will come.” Sylva coached as she noticed Selena struggle to breathe on the monitors as Sylva and Selena just kept squeezing back and forth as Sylva cried tears of happiness and relief that Selena wasn’t lost mentally. Everything else could be fixed as the doctors were setting her right arm back into place as the surgeons were stitching up her sides from setting her ribs back into place and fixing her punctured liver and lung as it was a miracle that her legs were not also broken. She was almost done with surgery and Sylva had been praying the whole time for Selena to pull through and it seems her prayers had been answered.
Once the surgeries were done, Sylva noticed Selena was crying from her eyes and when she was unplugged from the breathing machine, she started gasping for air, trying to catch her breath.
“She’s breathing on her own, just let her catch her breath.” Sylva ordered.
“We’re done Selena, the surgery is done, we’re going to the room now.” Sylva told Selena as she kept a firm hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go as they kept squeezing three times back and forth.
Selena was brought back to her ICU room in the Emergency room where Ravus and Luna and everyone else was eagerly awaiting them.
“She’s ok, she’s tapping!” Sylva announced happily through her own tears when she saw them as Selena was put into place in the room.
“Tapping?” Ravus and everyone else repeated.
“Ravus you did so good by telling Selena about the tapping and squeezing in threes to say ‘I love you’ the way your father and I used to all the time when you were growing up, Selena was able to squeeze that over and over and over throughout the surgery. She’s there, we didn’t lose her. She’ll be ok.” Sylva announced as Ravus just stared at his mother in confused shock.
“Mom...I never told her about that…” Ravus confessed as Sylva let go of Selena’s hand so that Ravus could hold her hand so Sylva could get changed out of the special operating room scrubs before Selena grasped Ravus’ hand and squeezed three times before he squeezed back in kind before he completely broke down in tears by the bed as they kept doing that back and forth.
“Well then did you?” Sylva turned to Luna who shook her head no.
“I completely forgot about it, I never told her either.” Luna professed as she looked to Nyx.
“I’ve never heard of it either. Dad?” Nyx turned to his dad as everyone else looked at each other in surprise but everyone was at a loss because they had never heard of that kind of thing either.
“No, we don’t have anything like that in our family either.” Dorian shook his head no.
“But she’s squeezing it over and over like her life depends on it.” Ravus confessed before he let Dorian feel it and return it then Nyx got to then Luna got to also, all of them crying tears of happiness to feel it though.
“Maybe she’s trying to say ‘I’m still here’. Three words, ‘I’m still here’.” Regis offered.
“Oh, maybe.” Sylva allowed as she frowned.
“Selena, can you open your eyes?” Dorian asked as he reached out and wiped the tears from her eyes from the other side of her but all Selena did was scrunch her eyes shut as she continued in her labored breathing. It hurt so bad to breathe but her lungs and her body were screaming for air.
“Hey, it’s a response.” Sylva allowed as Ravus got Selena’s hand again and squeezed three times again as Selena’s toes then started tapping together like she was standing up and tapping her foot, three times.
“Yay! Her legs still work!” Dorian cheered.
“And it’s still in threes, ‘I’m still here’.” Regis insisted as he clasped Ravus’ shoulder because Regis had surprisingly been the one to offer the most comfort and support to Ravus through all of this because Regis had been through the same thing several years earlier before Dorian left to tell Sabrina the news that Selena was ok, and asked if Sabrina knew about the tapping or squeezing three times thing and Sabrina as well as everyone else was also at a loss to explain it but Sabrina was relieved to know that she had not lost her daughter and was grateful Selena made it through surgery and was still alive as she was in the next room over as her parents and siblings had come to the hospital and were currently in her room and none of them could come up with a solution either before Selena stopped squeezing and instead tried to sit up before Ravus and Sylva gently tried to push her back down.
“Selena, you’ve been in a really bad car accident, you’re in a neck brace and we need to keep you as flat as we can to make sure your spine is ok. Your right arm is broken and in a cast right now which is why you can’t move it. You also broke some ribs, they hit your lungs and your liver so that’s why your right side probably hurts as bad as it does and we had to intubate you because your ribs hit your lungs, that’s why you can’t talk. But we’re so happy that you’re alive.” Sylva informed her as Selena tried to chew on the tube itself before she got a good bite on it and just kept crying but she was able to lift her left hand as everyone turned their attention to her hand as she held up her index finger to indicate 1 then made a fist.
“One squeeze?” Ravus asked as Selena signed ‘yes’.
“One squeeze means yes?” Ravus asked as Selena signed yes again before she then held up her index and middle finger to indicate two then made a motion of two squeezes and signed in ASL ‘no’.
“Two squeezes say no?” Ravus continued before Selena signed yes again as she felt the strength in her arm start to zap but she needed to get this last bit across if it was the last thing she could do. So then she held up three fingers and slowly spelled ‘I L U’.
“Three means I love you?” Ravus asked as he smiled through his tears before he wiped his falling tears off her face before Selena reached for his hand before she found it and gave one squeeze and then three more squeezes before she gave him a pained smile.
“So it does mean I love you!” Sylva beamed.
“Are you in pain?” Ravus asked and he got one squeeze.
“How much more pain killers can we give her?” Ravus asked as Sylva came over to check Selena’s eyes for a concussion and saw the signs of a small one.
“Her left pupil is larger than her right which is a sign of a concussion.” Sylva realized before she lowered the lights in the room so that they weren’t blinding Selena before she ordered more pain meds before she went and got them herself from the ER pharmacy and came back and administered them herself as Selena took a deep, and steadier breath and began to breathe easier before she squeezed Ravus’ hand four times.
“Is four times ‘thank you’?” Ravus guessed before Selena squeezed one more time as a ghost of a smile spread on her face as she tried to blink away her own tears before she signed ‘mom’.
“Your mom is ok, she’s banged up but not nearly as bad as you Sweetie, she’s in the next room.” Dorian answered before Selena signed ‘ok’.
“Thank the heavens for ASL.” Luna murmured as she wiped her relieved tears from her own eyes as she and Nyx held each other tightly as Gladio and everyone else nodded and murmured their agreement to that before the surgeons made back into the room and gave the family updates on what they found and what they did and about how long it would take for her to heal as Selena raised her hand and pointed to the tube and made a motion to pull it out over and over again.
“How about we move her to a room and make sure she stays stabilized and then we get the tube out.” The surgeons advised.
“On it.” Sylva answered before she had the nurses help get Selena prepped for moving as Sylva also ordered for Sabrina to moved to a room too before they all followed Sylva who moved Selena’s bed herself to the elevators and up to the VIP rooms of the hospital before in a few moments, Sabrina was moved in right next door.
And thankfully once Selena moved and was stabilized and all the results came back that her spine had not been damaged and she could sit up, they sat her up and took off the C- collar and made her comfortable before Sylva helped remove the breathing tube.
“Now, very little, slow sips of water.” Sylva urged as she disposed of the tube as Ravus handed her a little cup of water so Selena could drink some.
“Thank you.” Selena thanked him as she squeezed his other hand three times which brought a little wry grin to his lips as he squeezed back three times. This was going to be their new little thing.
“Tea.” Selena requested as she winced as the way the ice cold water assaulted her throat.
“On it.” Luna practically lept from her spot on a sofa and immediately went to the cafe on that level and got four cups of hot water and two of every kind of tea they had before she came back and listed them off before Selena chose one before Luna got that going for her before Tredd came in since Stella had been texting him updates ever since she had come in with Yasmine, Tredd still in his work uniform and not looking cleaned up at all, but he was clearly still anxious and worried even though he had gotten several texts from everyone about the update throughout the rest of his shift as he was so relieved and grateful that Selena made it through while Billy and Patrick were still downstairs in the ER getting attended to as he handed Selena her phone which had actually been ejected from the car itself upon impact but thanks to it's protective case, which had taken a beating, the phone was still functional.
"Thank you for saving my life." Selena thanked Tredd as the two hugged.
"Are you kidding, the shit Ravus would give me if you had died on my watch? He would harrass me and make me pay- eye for an eye and all that shit. You would haunt me yourself from beyond the grave, I have bad enough karma as it is, I don't need any more." Tredd tried to tease and play off as he wiped his relieved tears from his eyes but his happy and relieved smile still showed how deeply he still cared.
"But you're welcome." Tredd offered lowly.
"But don't you do it ever again, I don't have that much good luck to doll out to just anyone and everyone, you got L-U-C-K-Y, lucky girl." Tredd added as Selena just snorted a laugh because actually laughing would hurt too much as she gave him a grateful and appreciative smile before Luna came over with Selena's tea.
“Thank you.” Selena managed to whisper to Luna with a grateful smile once the tea was given her as she took a sip of it with her left hand since her right was still laying on her in a cast and a sling.
“So we have some updates.” Gladio came back into the room with his dad.
“William Ronchester, aka Billy, the former captain of Niflheim Academy's football team and one of his former teammates- Chad Frawns, who just graduated in May, were the drivers of the cars that smashed into you, they were racing each other and ran the red, we have them on the cameras from the intersection, going at least 80 in a 35.” Gladio reported.
“Fucking Nifs!” Nyx, Luche, Ada, Tredd, Crowe and Libertus all growled as Craig just shook his head and groaned in frustration.
“Of course they were, Chad and Billy were always doing stupid shit like that, it’s always a pissing contest between those two.” Craig offered up.
“So that’s two attempts on the Ulrics by the Niflheim football team, by the same people, by the same, exact fucking people, great.” Luna grumbled angrily as she and Nyx had flashbacks to when that football team was hired to have it out for him.
“But the important part is both of them lived through it. As long as Selena doesn’t get any complications from any of her surgeries, she should make a full recovery.” Sylva consoled.
“Well is it too early to start pressing charges?” Ravus asked as Gladio and Clarus grinned wryly.
“No it’s not.” Clarus answered before he got Selena’s statement to add it to Sabrina’s and once it was clear that Selena was going to be ok, Nyx went back and spent more time with his mom as Dorian had done the same as they hung out as Gladio and Clarus went back downstairs to check up on everyone involved in the wreck as the other officers were at the other hospitals where the other patients had been taken to and finished the rest of their jobs as well as inform Billy’s family as well as Chad’s family of who they hit as Clarus and Gladio saw the color drain from their family’s faces as their eyes go as wide as saucers.
Ravus was adamant that he wasn’t leaving Selena’s side as Luche simply went to Ravus’ office and packed what he could from Ravus’ office so that Ravus would have some of what he needed there before Luche left and he and Ada went to Ravus’ and Selena’s apartment to get what Selena and Ravus would need for staying in the hospital for at least a few weeks and simply got their dogs and brought them to their own yard. Sasha being all too happy to play with her siblings Kona and Kahlua while Bunny simply laid down forlornly.
“Mommy’s ok. I promise, she’ll be home soon.” Luche offered to Bunny as he pet her affectionately as Duchess simply took command of the tallest level of Luche and Ada’s cat tower as Luche pet Duchess affectionately in turn before Ada went through her own tea collection to get what she thought Selena would like and once they were ready they went back to the hospital just as Sylva had ordered dinner for everyone who was left as Selena very slowly ate the soft foods that the hospital prepared for her as Sylva made sure that her pain medication was always given on time so that she wasn’t in too much pain in any one time and was of course administered the best pain medicine available.
When it was late and after everyone but Nyx and Luna went home to rest and Ravus was getting ready for bed himself, Sylva made one last check up to see if Selena needed anything before Selena simply reached out and gave Sylva’s hand three squeezes sleepily but smiled sweetly nonetheless, despite her pain and exhaustion.
“Where did you learn that?” Sylva asked curiously.
“When I was in surgery, I think I was dreaming, or in a coma, or something. I was on a beach. I was in the picture that’s in our living room. Only, it wasn’t finished yet. I saw you playing with Ravus and Luna, only they were little. And..this artist, he looked like he was a cross between Ravus and Vincent, he was painting the picture, he asked me to sit and paint with him. He said that it was his favorite painting, that he had repainted it over and over and over again, trying to get it perfect, trying to make it look as real as a picture. He said it was his favorite memory because Luna and Ravus weren’t fighting and you were there and not being pulled in a thousand directions at once, and that you just got to enjoy the moment with your kids and being a mom. He said that you were an old soul from worrying about everything all the time. But that you were always his ray of sunshine. I think my imagination built Victor. He’s the one who held my hand and told me that pain was coming but that I could endure it. He held my hand and said that three taps and three squeezes meant ‘I love you’ and we just were squeezing it back and forth and then his voice morphed into yours in surgery.” Selena confessed as Sylva, Ravus and Luna were utterly sobbing.
“That’s nothing short of a miracle.” Lunafreya cried as she soaked up her renewed tears.
“I don’t think it was your imagination. I’m pretty sure you met him in the afterlife, he always told me that- that was one picture that he would give anything to redo and repaint over and over again because it was the perfect moment and he wanted it to last forever and he was sure that he could get it perfect eventually.” Sylva revealed as she sobbed before she held Selena.
“We’re so happy you lived and you made it through Darling.” Sylva cried into Selena’s shoulder.
“Ditto, I would have lost my mind if I lost my best friend.” Luna confessed as she hugged Selena next before Nyx came over and hugged her tight before they bid her goodnight and left Ravus and Selena in peace before saying goodnight to Sabrina and Dorian who were in the next room over.
Ravus waited until it was just himself and Selena before he slipped Selena’s rings back on her hands.
“They fell off in the accident. Tredd picked them up and saved them from the wreck.” Ravus told her.
“Only Stella and your mom could have seen the great man underneath the asshole, turns out he was exactly who was needed in that moment, I owe him big.” Selena noted as she looked at her rings affectionately.
“We both do.” Ravus had to admit. “He saved your life today, I never would have thought that he of all people would have been the life saving type.” Ravus admitted.
“But he was a natural wasn’t he? From what Gladio said he saw, Tredd knew exactly what to do and how to do it and do it in the nick of time. Another moment later and I would have been toast, literally. The car caught fire for crying out loud. For as much as Tredd is a pyromaniac, being a firefighter is strangely a perfect fit and he’s a natural.” Selena murmured tiredly, but fondly all the same.
“He told my mom that he wants to become a paramedic too after what happened today.” Ravus informed her.
“He’d be good at that too. Nyx isn’t the only one with a hero complex apparently.” Selena nodded as Ravus nodded his agreement to that too.
“There was something more to my “run in” with your dad though.” Selena said as Ravus sat on the bed next to hers.
“Oh?” Ravus asked.
“When he gave me my own canvas and invited me to paint with him, I looked at the scene of you and Luna and your mom on the beach to the canvas and began filling in where the sea met the sand and when I looked back up, I saw you with not one, or two, but three children, our children while I was pregnant with number four.” Selena revealed as Ravus’ tears came flooding back to his eyes as his smile was heartbreakingly beautiful.
“Really?” Ravus asked.
“Yup, two little girls, the oldest was five or six, the younger girl was only one and a half, maybe two, the middle, was a boy, he must have been only four or so. The girls were just as fair and blonde as you are and so precious and beautiful, the boy took after me and was quite handsome himself. You were all under a big umbrella so none of you would burn, you were all building a sandcastle, the oldest was doing most of the work, gathering all the sand into the various buckets, getting them wet then draining them before turning them over in the right spot, the boy was organizing seashells and the youngest was just squishing the sand between her chubby little hands. Your dad told me that he was grateful and thankful for me becoming a part of your family’s lives and that it wasn’t my time to leave yet and that he was proud, and happy and that- that moment, with you and our kids on the beach- that was going to be my ‘want to last forever’ moment. And that I could get there as long as I held onto life as hard as I could and warned me that the pain was coming, but that I could endure it. I just had to hold on and keep tapping three times, I love you, over and over and he held my hand and we did it back and forth as long as we could before things faded to black and his voice morphed into your mom’s in the surgery room.” Selena revealed as she held Ravus’ hand and squeezed it three times as he returned it over and over again as Ravus knelt down next to the bed with Selena’s left hand in both of his as he pressed his forehead to her hand and continued to cry and mentally offer thanks for the miracle as his faith in God began to flicker back to life.
“Then that’s what will happen. It’s worth waiting for.” Ravus insisted as he lifted his head and kissed her hand as firm as he dared.
“It will be.” Selena repeated as she was fighting sleep.
“Get some sleep, you need it Darling.” Ravus encouraged before Ravus to get into bed himself, reaching out and still grasping her left hand and giving it three little squeezes as she gave three little squeezes back before the two finally fell asleep.
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Text
Never Gonna Lose You
Summary - Even with Chuck's danger hanging over the heads of the Winchesters and the Reader, preparations for Dean and Reader's wedding start in the bunker
Pairing - Dean x reader, Sam x reader (platonic)
Warning - Fluff, just pure tooth rotting fluff (yeah ik it's highly unlike me) and maybe a bit of swearing
Word Count - 1.5k
A/N - This is the sequel to Don't Wanna Lose You as requested by @miss-nerd95 (I finally wrote it)
This is the first time I have attempted to write a fic with a wedding ceremony in it so I hope it turns out okay. (Also if there is any rule wrong in the wedding ceremony, please let me know because I wrote the rules of the ceremony after I saw it on the internet and from movies).
Spn divider by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89 (if you can, check out her blog. She is so good)
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"Hey! I came back to the bunker to find it empty. Where were you both?"
You were trying your best to stop the large smile that was threatening to spread on your face.
"We were uh..out", you gave Sam an innocent smile.
"Oh no. No I don't want to hear about my brother's sex life", Sam scrunched up his face in pure disgust.
"Get your mind out of the gutter Sammy because we have some news", Dean said with a stupid grin on his face.
"Please don't tell me Y/N's pregnant because I can't handle a mini Dean right now in the bunker", Sam said.
"What no! I am not pregnant-"
"We're getting married!" Dean declared proudly.
"What? That's great! Congratulations you guys", Sam literally ran towards you both and pulled you and his brother into a bone crushing hug.
"That's enough Sam", Dean groaned.
Sam let go of you both, "So when's the wedding? Where's the ring? Show me the ring".
"When did you become so girly Sammy?" Dean teased Sam which resulted in him getting a glare from the younger hunter.
"I'm just very excited for you both. Welcome to the Winchester family, Y/N. I am very happy for you Dean but Y/N not really, you could have done a lot better", Sam smirked.
"Ow", Sam yelped when his brother smacked his head.
"So when's the wedding? Did you tell Cas and Jack? Where will be the wedding?" Sam started to fire different questions at you.
"Hold your damn horses, Sammy. I don't know when's the-"
"We are getting married next week," Dean said, cutting you off mid-sentence which made your eyes go wide.
"Next week?" You exclaimed, "Dean are you crazy? We can't get married next week! There is so much to do! It's a goddamn wedding! Decorations, dress, catering - are you out of your mind, Dean Winchester?"
"We'll manage, sweetheart. It will be fine," Dean tried to assure when he saw you had already started panicking.
And damn did he make sure it was fine. The week went by a blink of an eye. With every passing day you were growing more anxious even though Dean did his best to make this the perfect wedding.
Growing up as a hunter, you never thought marriage was in your cards. You always thought that you would be long dead even before you meet the man of your dreams but it all changed when you met Dean.
Your meeting with Dean was out of pure luck. Your car had crashed into his when you were on a run from a monster. They immediately found out that you were hunting the same nest of vampire that they were. They were quite taken aback when you told them that you were a solo hunter.
Although as much as Dean was furious at first because you damaged his beloved Baby, you and him slowly became good friends. So when Sam invited you to live with them, you agreed without any second thoughts. Sam was like the younger brother you never had but Dean was another story. After several months of dancing around the fact that you both had feelings for each other and also because of Sam’s annoyance, Dean decided to ask you out.
Now, today as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, tears started to well up in your eyes. You never thought you would be able to see yourself like this - wearing a beautiful white gown as your would-be husband takes a stand at the altar, waiting for you to walk down the aisle.
“All done, sweetie,” Jody said as she put the final touches to your makeup and hair, “you look beautiful.”
You took a final look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travelled south, eventually finding the beautiful engagement ring on your hand. Dean had given it to you on the same night he had asked you to marry him. The ring was perfectly kept in the pocket of one of his coats - he wanted to ask you for a long time but he always would chicken out at the last minute until that night. After he had put the ring on your finger, Dean had pulled you close, whispering “I love you” into your ear a thousand times. That night had ended with you and him in bed, entangled up with each other, panting and mumbling ‘I love you’s into each other's ears.
You smiled when you remembered the soft memory from that night.
“Jody, just don't let me fall while I walk down the aisle,” you said, standing up. Claire and Alex helped with the gown.
“Oh honey, I won't let you fall but if I do Dean will be there to catch you. That boy will always catch you before you hit the ground,” Jody said.
Jody Mills, you met her after you became a permanent resident of the bunker. She was a good friend of the Winchesters but she was more like a mother to you than a friend. She was there whenever you needed to talk. She supported you always so when Dean asked you about who will walk you down the aisle, you went straight to Jody’s house and asked her the question. She was surprised but eventually agreed, with tears in her eyes.
“We're ready,” Donna poked her head into the room and said.
Alex and Claire walked out of the room before you.
You linked your right arm with Jody’s, taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down your racing heart.
“Let's do this.”
You walked out of your dressing room and started to walk towards the garage where the wedding crremony was being held.
When you reached the garage you saw a carpet was spread out for you, with flowers sprinkled over it. You looked up and saw Claire and Alex standing on the side, Jack standing there with your wedding bands. The few guests you had invited - Bobby, Charlie, Rowena, Donna sitting at the front. You saw Sam standing beside Dean, he had a black tux on. He was looking right at you with a small smile on his face. Just beside him, stood Dean, a soft smile playing on his lips.
You started to tear up when you saw him. This was all you ever wanted - to spend the rest of your life with the man you love, your soulmate.
You walked towards Dean, Jody letting go of your arm. He extended his hand at you. You took his hand and stood beside him. You looked up at Dean, your eyes locking with his jade ones. His eyes were moist and you were yourself trying not to cry.
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, a shy smile playing on your lips.
“Should we begin?” Cas asked. You had asked Cas to officiate your wedding because who would be better other than an angel?
You and Dean nodded.
Cas began the ceremony but you weren't paying attention to what he was saying. You were too mesmerised in Dean's eyes. You mind wandered off to all the times you had spent with Dean, hunting with each other or just spending a lazy day in bed with him.
You were broken from your thoughts when Cas asked if you wanted to say your own vows. You both nodded and Dean started to speak.
“Y/N, five years ago, when your car crashed into mine I didn't know then that I would be standing at here with you today. I love your coffee obsessed, nerdy self who is also a badass hunter who doesn't take any bullshit from others. Being with you brings the best out of me. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you ever even if I have to walk through fire to keep you safe. I promise I will never take you, us for granted. I promise to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith and lastly I promise to never make fun about how much you love the Harry Potter books.”
You wiped the tears that were now rolling down your cheek. “Y/N.” You heard Cas say your name and you started to speak.
“Dean, today when I woke up I had to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am really marrying my true love, my heart's desire, my soulmate. I couldn't make myself believe that it was all real and not one of Chuck's plans, but after seeing you standing here, waiting for me, all my doubts flew out of the window. I promise to always love and cherish this relationship even when you are annoying me. I promise to always protect you and keep both of us from harm's way. I promise to always love and support you. I promise to always leave the last slice of my pizza for you and lastly I promise to not roll my eyes everytime you say a stupid movie reference.”
Tears were now flowing freely down your cheek. You didn't even bother to wipe them. You looked at Dean and saw him sniffling. His green eyes clouded with emotions. He mouthed “I love you”.
“It's time to bring in the rings,” Cas announced and
Jack walked in with the rings, “Y/N and Dean will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Dean now you may take Y/N’s hand in yours and repeat these words after me.”
Dean repeated the words after Cas with a grin on his face, and took the ring from Jack, putting it on your finger.
“Y/N, please take Dean's hand and repeat these words.”
You repeated the words after Cas, with a smile playing on your lips. You smile got bigger when you took the ring from Jack and put it on Dean's. You and Dean said your I do's, your heart heavy with emotions.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may kiss your bride now,” Cas said and for the first you noticed, he had a big smile on his face too.
Dean pulled you into a kiss, the first kiss as husband and wife. You immediately melted into the kiss. Cheers erupted throughout the garage but you didn't pay any attention to them. You were finally married to Dean, the love of your life and that was what mattered the most. Dean finally let go of you and looked at you with a stupid grin on his face.
“Hey Mr. Winchester,” you whispered.
“Hey Mrs. Winchester,” Dean said.
“We are married.”
“We are married, sweetheart,” Dean sighed.
“Now let's go save the world,” you smiled.
“Let's go save the world, together.”
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Forever taglist - @donnaintx @devil-in-my-boots @amandamdiehl @miss-nerd95 @foxyjwls007
Dean/Jensen Taglist - @akshi8278 @mrsjenniferwinchester @jensengirl83 @defenderrosetyler
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glimmerglanger · 4 years
Note
i literally adore your mirror-verse fic- it's speedily become one of my favourites! wondering (because i can't help myself but you would write it so much better) what would happen in an au where the anakins couldn't get back and ended up having to stay in the opposite universes!
Oooooooh, I like this idea. (An AU of an AU, :D) Let’s handwave that the physical effects of travel between the universes did not occur, as otherwise this would be very short and very sad, ending in two funerals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the end, Palpatine caught up with Anakin and Obi-Wan before they ever managed to find a dark mirror beneath the Temple. In the end, Anakin decided not to make the same foolish mistake twice. In the end, he stood over Emperor’s body, panting hard and swaying on his feet, and Obi-Wan stepped up beside him, looking down, eyes wide and stunned.
“You killed him,” Obi-Wan said, as though he could not quite believe it, and--
And Anakin felt… strange inside. Good. Satisfied. Palpatine had begged, at the last, and Anakin had ignored him, remembering Obi-Wan’s body, wracked by Force lightning. He looked down at the lightsaber in his hand and slowly clipped it to his belt. “I did,” he said, and Obi-Wan looked up at him, expression open, stunned, grateful.
Anakin felt half-disconnected from all that was happening. His heart was still racing, and he did not think, much, about sliding his hand along Obi-Wan’s jaw, bringing him close, and kissing him. “For you,” he said, against Obi-Wan’s mouth, and Obi-Wan gripped him tighter.
It was some time before they thought to resume their search, and even when they did… they found nothing.
#
Obi-Wan searched beneath the Temple for hours - for so long that eventually Shadow protested and all but dragged him out again, insisting that he eat and sleep. They were interrupted upon exiting the catacombs by a delegation from the Senate, led by Palpatine, and everything that happened next seemed dreamlike, vague and hazy.
It ended with Palpatine dead on the ground, though, Shadow smiling grimly over his handiwork, looking over at Obi-Wan with his expression blazing. And Obi-Wan… might have protested, but he was exhausted and heartsick and, anyway, Palpatine had been the man responsible for millions - perhaps billions - of deaths.
He said as much to the Senate, when they were called in for emergency hearings. It was days, before they ever managed to reach the Temple again, much less resume a search beneath it.
#
Anakin’s gut jerk reaction was to run to the rebels, after they killed Palpatine. Obi-Wan sighed at the suggestion and pointed out that would prevent them from searching the lower levels of the Temple.
And so they did not go, they stayed on Coruscant and Anakin, thoughts buzzing and surging along, wanting to make this world better in some way, suggested that Obi-Wan take over as Emperor. Better him than anyone else in this terrible, broken place.
Besides, he thought, through a vague haze of exhaustion, if Obi-Wan were in charge, it would make it easier for them to search wherever they wanted. And - and when Anakin found a way home - and he would - Obi-Wan would be safe from his double, if the other Anakin wished him ill for the death of Palpatine.
The Emperor had all the protections possible, after all.
#
Shadow watched the meetings that led to the end of the war with an expression of supreme boredom. Obi-Wan supposed that he could not fault Shadow for that. After all, they were not in his world; they’d not been fighting his war.
He played along, when people called him General Skywalker, though. And he stayed at Obi-Wan’s side, scowling, sometimes, at the people who spoke with him. And he was there, in Obi-Wan’s room, when Grievous attempted a final attack.
He lost a leg, in the fight that followed, taking a blow for Obi-Wan and - and the war really felt like it ended, for Obi-Wan, when he carved Grievous to pieces of broken metal and barely functioning organics.
He left the pile of trash behind, pulling Shadow into his arms, and bearing him to the healing wing without thought.
#
There was no dark mirror beneath the Temple. Anakin was forced to admit it, eventually. The full powers of the Emperor’s wishes found them nothing, and that meant… well. There was nothing to find. Not that would help them, anyway.
He haunted the lower levels himself, sure that if he just looked a little closer he would find… some hidden room. Some way, something--
He stopped his restless search the evening he returned late to the palace to find a sense of foreboding in the air. A prickle ran up his spine, even before he heard a soft, pained sound, and the noise of flesh hitting flesh and--
And Anakin did not know who the people in Obi-Wan’s quarters were; he cared only that they had him on the ground, a blaster trained to his forehead and - and whoever they were, they had not anticipated Anakin appearing before them.
He clicked his lightsaber off, afterwards, standing in the midst of their scattered forms, barely breathing hard. He turned, dismissing them, and fell by Obi-Wan’s side. “It’s alright,” he said, hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, his chest, checking the severity of the wounds he bore, “it’s alright, it’s over.”
And Obi-Wan curled an arm around his neck, pulled him down, kissed his mouth and - and they had not exchanged such affection, not since Palpatine fell.
Anakin fell into it, a thousand wants surging through him, and he was not thinking when he stood, lifting Obi-Wan along, or when he walked from the room, barking an absent order to the guards only just appeared in the hall to clean up the mess left behind.
He brought Obi-Wan to clean quarters and - and they spoke little, moving together desperately, clinging, holding on, and after, Anakin said, “I’m sorry, I should have been here.”
Obi-Wan brushed his hair back, shaking his head. He said, “I understand. You want to go back to--”
“I want to stay here,” Anakin said, face hidden against Obi-Wan’s shoulder, the shameful truth slipping out of him. He lay sprawled across Obi-Wan’s body, bare skin all spread out for him to touch, and - and he rasped, “I don’t want to go anywhere that isn’t by your side.”
Obi-Wan’s fingers curled in his hair, his breath held for a moment. And then Obi-Wan nodded, and said, “Then stay.”
#
“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan told Shadow one morning, weeks and weeks into their search for a way to get him home. Shadow was sitting across from him - already up for the morning - and tinkering with the mechanical leg he’d been given.
Shadow looked across at him, brow furrowed, and asked, “What are you sorry for?”
Obi-Wan sighed and sat up. Shadow’s nightmares had been particularly bad the previous night. Neither of them had slept much. He rubbed his face and said, “That I can’t get you home. Back to your Obi-Wan.”
Shadow hesitated for a moment, expression going distant. He set down his tools and stood. He said, “I miss him. Every day.”
Obi-Wan looked to the side. He missed Anakin, as well, though he knew it was - was different. They had been many things to one another, but not lovers. He had lost a friend, his dearest friend, but-- “I know,” he said.
“But I would miss you,” Shadow continued, reaching out to touch Obi-Wan’s jaw, to tilt his face up. “If I were to go back now. I’d miss you.”
Obi-Wan blinked up at him, chest aching. He’d grown used to Shadow, as well. He’d gotten used to showing him new aspects of the Force, to easing him through his nightmares, even - even to his affections, which grew harder to rebuff each time.
Obi-Wan swallowed, cutting his gaze to the side. He said, “I know it’s different--”
“It’s not,” Shadow said, bending so he could put his other hand on the bed, so they were ever so close to one another. “Not at all, really. I love you just as I love him, you know.”
And Obi-Wan shivered, for - for he had not known, he’d thought he was only a convenient replacement, the next best thing, and--- “Sh,” Shadow said, so close to him, words murmured against his mouth, “let me show you.”
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zhanghaos-hairclips · 3 years
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36:5 || 04
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04 - Lost
It's finally the day of the party, and you've just worked up the courage to confess, but will everything go to plan?
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I arrived at the party a little early with Soonyoung and his friend Jihoon, who I'd never met before, but who seemed nice enough from the brief conversation I managed to have with him. Soon after we arrived, he excused himself to take over some snacks to the snack table, and then it was just me, Soonyoung and several bags of presents. Being at Vernon's apartment was a little overwhelming, mostly because I'd never been but also because of how big it was. Part of me had been expecting a small, cosy apartment with an old rug, but this was something else. Right in the corner of the living room was a pretty tree decorated with multi-coloured tinsel and sparkly ornaments, and underneath it were more presents than I'd ever seen in my lifetime. It was like a child's dream seeing so many gifts sitting there, so much so that, for a moment, the child within me forgot how to function properly.
The rest of the apartment was decorated with sparkly decorations, too. Gold and silver streamers hung from the ceiling, and various ornaments - santas, elves, reindeer and snowmen were dotted around on almost every surface. It would have been excessive, having so many decorations anywhere, if they didn't look so pretty. Soonyoung nudged me in my side, chuckling to himself at my reaction to Vernon's apartment. I snapped out of my thoughts as he slung his arm around my shoulder. "We should put our presents down by the others. You're gonna have all night to stare at the decorations." He suggested, pinching my cheek. I scrunched my nose up at him and he laughed, removing his arm and walking over to the tree. I followed behind him just as Vernon popped out of nowhere.
"Hey you two, y/n it's great to finally meet you in person! Lovely sweater by the way." He greeted us, giggling at our ugly sweaters and pulling us in for a hug. "Whatcha got there. All for me, hmm?" He teased, trying to peak in the bags. Soonyoung swatted him away and I watched the two of them, smiling at their cute friendship. They truly were like brothers, just as I was told.
After putting the presents under the tree, me and Soonyoung decided to see what everyone else was doing. There weren't that many of us there, since Vernon didn't want to have to clean up too much mess, so there were a few small groups doing different things. A few of Vernon and Soonyoung's friends hovered close to the snack table, including Jihoon, some more were playing random drinking games and the rest were having some sort of comedic dance-off.
It didn't take too long for me and Soonyoung to get separated as I drifted in and out of the groups, not really knowing anyone except a few faces. At first, he went over to slay the others at the dance-off, which had somehow turned into a karaoke competition after a few rounds. I watched him for a bit before deciding to watch the drinking game group. At some point Vernon must have told them to slow down, as they were now playing regular games. Jeonghan, one of the few faces there I actually knew, turned to me and invited me to join. The rest were happy enough to let me play, and soon the friendly competition helped me loosen up around the group of strangers. Every so often, Soonyoung would come over and offer me snacks or drinks, and sometimes the boys would tease us about it. It was easy enough to laugh off, though, it being a topic we'd talked about before and agreed there was nothing there besides a solid friendship.
And that's how my night continued until about half ten, at which point most of the game squad had left to get food or do something else. I looked over at the karaoke group, which had gained more "competitors". I noticed my crush among them, who was so into the song he was singing, belting the words out whilst dancing energetically, that he burst into a fit of laughter when his voice cracked. I smiled fondly. Even above the music, above the chatter, and even above my racing heart, his laugh rang out like my favourite Christmas song. I knew I was in way too deep for someone who had only met him a few times. It wasn't just the times we'd seen each other, though. It was the dumb stories Soonyoung told me about him late at night and the random quotes he or Vernon had texted me throughout the day. Those were the things that made my heart swell with affection.
Finally, I found the two of them again, sat in the kitchen with drinks in their hands. "Hey you two, trying to get a breather from the chaos out there?" I asked, grinning at them, leaning against one of the counters. Vernon nodded, adding how he was tired from cheering on the karaoke team most of the night. I chuckled to myself, remembering the sound of my crush's laugh not long before. The two of them let out teasing 'ooh's at me, my face heating up when I realised why.
"Tonight would be a great time to confess, you know. I could always sneak up to you guys and hold up some mistletoe if you can't wait until midnight." Vernon teased, wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes. Did I really have the guts to confess to him? "No, really, tonight is great. You literally have a perfect excuse to kiss him. Take it, please. For both of-" his eyes widened "Us." He croaked, his voice higher pitched than normal. I chewed my lip. Was it a good idea? I mean.. if it went wrong I could always play it off with "no no I just wanted that kiss y'know I don't like you like that pffft what".. right?
And like that, I decided that's what I would do. I sat anxiously throughout the belated Christmas present opening, eyes constantly flickering up to check the time. It was 11pm, and the presents were nearly all opened, yet it felt like there were still loads left. And then it was 11:50pm and finally the last present was unwrapped. I barely had chance to pay attention to what gifts people got each other. In my head, all I could think about was what was going to happen at midnight. I briefly met eyes with the man on my mind, smiling shyly over at him as he did the same, the thought of kissing him in a few minutes making my head go fuzzy.
With a few minutes to spare until midnight, all of us poured out onto the balcony. I tried to look for a certain someone amongst the small crowd, but somehow he seemed to have disappeared. I wanted to scream. I had to find him soon, or I'd never get that new years kiss. In the midst of looking for him, I felt someone tap my shoulder. "Hey y/n, looking forward to the new year?" They asked. I turned my head, seeing Jeonghan standing there with a shy grin on his face. I returned his smile, growing nervous. I nodded, unable to speak. 
"10!" No, I'm not ready just yet.
"9!" I can't do this.
"8!" I need some more time.
"7!" One of the boys bumped into me, whispering an apology. 
"6!" Please.. 
"5!" I felt Jeonghan's gaze on me.
"4!" Give me a few more seconds. 
"3!" There's no time. 
"2!" Someone tapped my shoulder again.
"1!" I turned to look at Jeonghan.
Midnight. He leaned down, capturing my lips in the gentlest kiss I'd ever had.
And I hated it, because I wanted to run away. I couldn't find him, I couldn't find my crush and now I was being kissed by someone else. Someone who was lovely, and was by no means a bad kisser, but who wasn't him. What was I supposed to do? My mind glazed over and my body stood still. I needed to push him away but I didn't want to upset him, yet I couldn't lead him on either. But before I could work out what to do, he was pulling away and midnight had come and gone. I could hear him giggling excitedly to himself as he pulled me in for a hug. As my mind started to emerge from its daze, I looked up at the others and the first face I saw was his. Standing there right at the front was Seungkwan, eyes glossy and the colour drained from his face. I saw him swallow the lump in his throat and close his eyes, eyebrows knitting together. I wanted to reach out to him and go after him to explain, but I was still being held by Jeonghan. Seungkwan turned away, head down, and weaved his way through the small crowd.
Vernon looked between his friend and me, worry etched into his face. He covered his face with his hands, disappointed. After what felt like an eternity, Jeonghan let me go, and like a missile I was off, brain no longer caring what he'd think of me running away like that. Suddenly the party didn't feel like a party anymore. I stared at Seungkwan's back as he hunched over a table. If only I could have found him before the countdown. I wanted to explain, but I was scared that my words wouldn't come out right and all I wanted to do was leave.
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z-iridest · 4 years
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(A/N: Okay, guys, I hope you enjoy a little Denki Kaminari fluff ^.^ A big thank you to @lxvely-mha for helping me with the idea, if you haven't checked out their blog, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED! Lxvly, this is for you, and I hope you don't mind if I drew from your headcannons for Denki Kaminari as a boyfriend)
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Hungry Eyes: A Denki Kaminari x Shy & Clumsy Female! Reader One Shot
It all started with a dance....
As the daughter of a pro hero, I had to be ready for anything. A villain attack, random people wanting an autograph from my Dad, and my Dad's infamous loud as hell outbursts to name a few. Considering that the Pro Hero I'm talking about is Present Mic, it's actually kind of ironic that his daughter is a silent, shy klutz that has a similar quirk to his. Mine is literally a sonic scream.....
My clumsiness is going to be my death one day. It's why I've never danced at any school dances, preferring to be either sitting on the sidelines, or next to the DJ booth (sometimes in it if my Dad was the DJ). I'd already embarrassed myself several times tripping over anything and everything, no reason to do it with an audience. To be fair, my Dad did try teaching me how to dance..... Hours of sore feet on my Dad's end later and me falling on my rear way too many times, we were both ready to call it quits. Speaking of my Dad....
There's only a handful of people I've ever talked outloud to: My Dad, My Mom, and my Uncle: Shota Aizawa (yeah, Aizawa is my godfather, get over it). Everyone else, I talk to using JSL or writing down what I want to say. I only talk to people I'm not comfortable around when it's an absolute necessity. Why? Allow me to take you back a few months ago....
See, when I first started at U.A., I started dating this guy... You actually know him. Remember Monoma from Class 1-B? Yeah....
Well, everything was going great with him... Until I caught him making out with a different girl. He had the audacity to tell me it was my own fault for not measuring up to his "perfect standards" and told me I'd never be good enough to live up to my Dad's rep as a Pro Hero, that I was a waste of space. I kinda just shut down after that, refusing to talk to my Dad or Uncle Shota for a while, especially since Monoma spread a rumor around school that I was quirkless. That got me bullied a bit until Dad got wind of it.....
Boy, was he mad....
But don't worry! Everything's fine now. The rumors died down about a month ago, though I think that was mainly due to me joining the BakuSquad.... For those who don't know, the BakuSquad is a group of a bunch of loveable goofballs and their explosive pomeranian of a leader: Katsuki Bakugo. Mina was the one who brought me into the group, and thank god, they never pushed me to talk. I mainly just listened to their antics and tried to hold back fits of laughter. It almost felt normal...
Almost....
Since we broke up, Monoma has a bad habit of cornering me at my locker after school to try to get me to go back to dating him. I always tell him no, and he pushes me around until either Kirishima, Bakugo, Sero or Kaminari come looking for me. I think deep down, he's scared half to hell of Kaminari, because the one time Monoma didn't stop when Kaminari told him to... Oh boy, Pikachu Boy went all out on Monoma, shocking him until he made a run for it. It was actually really funny to watch, I won't lie.....
Back to what I was saying: As the kid of a pro hero, you have to be ready for anything. But, that's where fate'll get you good...
When you least expect it, fate can just (excuse my french) bitch slap you out of nowhere. For example.....
"You did what?!" The only reason I was talking to Mina and Jiro at that second was out of shock. We were in my dorm room, so there was no one around to hear me talk anyways outside of Mina and Jirou.
"Mina decided to nominate you and Kaminari for the couple to do the first dance at the Mid-Summer Dance this year for the first years, and you guys won the school's vote." Jirou told me. I let out a humiliated whine and plopped facedown onto my pillow. The Mid Summer Dance was a school wide dance party to have fun in the final days of summer. One couple from each year did the first, second and third slow dances, the first years being the ones to kick off the actual dance. I felt a hand on my back.
"Aww, come on, Y/N, it's not that bad." Mina's voice told me. I sat up faster than Iida can run, and looked at her with a look that told her I thought she was crazy.
"Are you forgetting who you're talking to? The resident klutz of U.A. High, that's who! I'm gonna die, that's it! Game over, no pro hero career for me! Y/N Yamada, dead at 16! Cause of death: Embarrassing tumble in front of the whole school! I'll be lucky if the dress I wear that night doesn't rip or something on the way there." I burried my face in my pillow again. "Besides, I don't know how to dance. I've always avoided the dancefloor at parties or anything like that."
"Why don't you just ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance?" Jirou asked.
"I've never talked in front of him, remember? And I can't ask him, it'd be too embarrassing." I reminded Jirou.
"Fine, if you won't ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance, I'll ask him for you." Mina's words pierced me with more horror than any thriller movie. Believe me, that's saying something because I hate horror movies.
"No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted, jumping up, but Mina was already out of my room, calling for Kaminari. I raced out of my room after her, but by the time I caught up, she was already telling Kaminari. Crap....The second Kaminari locked eyes with me, I bolted back into my room and hid in the closet. Damn it, Mina! I felt heat rise to my face. Great, now I'm blushing.... Just a few minutes later, I heard footsteps. They stopped before I heard voices.
"Jirou, have you seen Y/N?" Kaminari's voice.
"She's hiding in there." Traitor. I heard footsteps walk away. Okay, maybe Kaminari walked away. Maybe he...
"Y/N?" Damn it, he didn't walk away. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't dance?" I slowly came out of the closet and signed my answer in JSL.
I thought it was obvious. I'm the resident klutz of U.A., so....
"You're scared of falling in front of everyone? You always seem so fearless." Kaminari told me, sitting on my bed. I gave him a You've gotta be kidding me look as I sat down next to him. "I'm serious!"
Looks can be deceiving. I'm scared of everything. I put on a facade during training to make it look like I'm not scared when I actually am.
"You're still such a badass... Anyway, back to the dance. What were you gonna do when the night of the dance came and you still didn't know how to dance?" Kaminari asked me. I shrugged.
I would have figured out something.
"Like what, bailing on the dance all together?" Kaminari asked, raising an eyebrow. I opened my mouth, but quickly closed it. That had been the last resort. "That's what I thought." He stood up and offered his hand to me. "Come on, the dance is a couple weeks away, but we'd better start now if you're gonna be ready." With no other choice, I placed my hand in Kaminari's, a sudden spark flowing from me to him.
And it wasn't from his quirk.
I didn't have time to ponder what the spark even was, because Kaminari pulled me up off my bed and started pulling me to the gym where the dance would be held. I had just enough time to notice how perfectly my hand seemed to fit in his. What's wrong with me?
It was then that the real work began. While keeping up with studying and homework from all my classes (which I had to help Kaminari with most of), and planning the dance with the Dance Committee, I was taking dance lessons with Kaminari. Surprisingly, no matter how much I stepped on his toes, he stayed patient and helped me through it. Everytime I tripped and started falling, he caught me easily. "Now that the worst's happened, you don't have to be scared. I've got you." Kaminari had told me with a wink the first time I had tripped and he had caught me. I have no idea why, but I started blushing like an idiot around him, and kept tripping outside of our dance lessons, worse than my normal clumsiness. If this is what having a crush was, I was falling hard for the human Pikachu.... Literally.
Before I knew it, it was the day before the dance. Kaminari and I danced alone in the gym, and much to my own surprise, I didn't trip. Not once. Kaminari was grinning wider than a Cheshire cat when we finally finished.
"Yes! I knew you could do it, that was awesome!" Kaminari exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face as he pumped both fists in the air. I covered my mouth to keep a laugh in, but it slipped out in a giggle. When I looked up, Denki was looking at me with the most adorable look ever. His head was tilted to one side slightly, and his eyes held this just... Adoring look. "Y'know... Your laugh is adorable." I felt the heat rise to my face as I looked away from him. "I mean it." He made me look at him, giving me a sweet smile. He was so close, one single move from either of us, and we'd be kissing. He cleared his throat after a good long minute, giving me a sheepish smile. "Want to run through it one more time?" He asked me. I nodded and we danced again. I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I danced, feeling happy for the first time in a long time. I noticed that the more I smiled, the more Denki smiled. As we finished the routine perfectly for the second time that day, I felt Denki interlace his fingers with mine, the look on his face serious. He raised one hand, gently cupping the side of my face. My heart started pounding fiercely against my chest. What was going to happen next? "Y/N.... I want to ask you something...." He told me, his eyes and his voice soft. Just as he opened his mouth to continue, my phone rang. I groaned.
"Sorry, I gotta take this." I shrugged before answering my phone.
"Y/N, where are you? We have to do the final preparations for the party!" Mina's voice shrilled at the other end. Iida must have been right there, otherwise she wouldn't have called me about something like this.
"Do I really have to be there?" I asked.
"No, I just need you to answer a couple things over the phone." Mina told me.
"Go for it." I told her, giving Kaminari an apologetic look. He gave me a thumbs up as if silently telling me it was fine. I leaned against the wall behind me as I listened to Mina's questions, answering each one. Everytime I talked, I noticed Denki having that same adoring look on his face. Just as I shifted against the wall a bit, I saw Kaminari start to walk over to me.
"Y/N?" Kaminari called my name, and I noticed he had a determined look on his face."I was wondering... Do you want to go to the dance with me?" I put the phone down for a second, feeling a little confused.
"Yeah, I mean, the BakuSquad's all going together, right? I think Bakugo has us leaving the dorms around 7 or something..." I told him. I heard Mina call my name and put the phone back to my ear. Jeeze, how many more questions did this girl have?
"No, I mean, with me." Denki told me. What was he getting at?
"Yeah, I can swing by your dorm around 6:30." I told him. He did mean arrive there as a group with the squad.... Didn't he? Mina asked me another question before I could think about what he meant. "Yeah, when you're facing the stage it has to go on the left... Right." I shook my head as Mina sounded confused. "No, the left, not the right." I heard Denki mumble something under his breath, something along the lines of,
"Oh man, this is gonna be hard." I suddenly felt his hand on mine as he placed his other arm on the wall next to me. Is he... Doing the kabedon on me? I felt my cheeks turn bright red, as he was really, really close to me now. I was forced to look into his gold eyes, which held a very serious look. "Y/N..." He moved my phone fully from my ear, keeping my closed hand in his. I swear, Mina was intently listening in, because I could hear her suddenly go silent on the other line. "Would you.... Be my date for the Mid-Summer Dance?" A smile crept onto my face, which caused him to chuckle a bit. "And... If you don't absolutely hate me by the end of it... Would you... consider... Maybe, being more than friends?" I smiled up at him brighter. I was getting asked out by my crush! "Maybe?"
"Like... Boyfriend and girlfriend where we can... Hold hands instead of just fist bumping and slugging each other all the time, and... We can text, and I can tell you how great you are, because, Kaminari, you really are great, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you're so sweet and adorable, and..." I suddenly felt something warm and soft against my lips, effectively cutting me off. Despite the dark blush on my face, I melted into Denki's kiss. When we finally pulled away, he grinned down at me.
"First of all, you call me Denki. And second, if anyone's the lucky one, it's me, sweetheart." I closed my eyes and blushed darker, if it was humanly possible, as he softly kissed my forehead. I giggled and hugged him, feeling him hug me back. "Well then, milady, until tomorrow night." He grinned goofily as he held my hand in his, bowing and pressing a soft kiss to the back of my hand. With a wink and the most adorable smile, he was gone.
When I got back to the dorms, I was greeted by all the girls, each one having the stupidest smile on their faces as they all sat in the common room. I blushed under their stares and said only two words, knowing Mina had heard what had happened after dance practice and had told all the girls. "Shut up." I told them, causing all of them to burst into a giggle fit.
Right after school the next day, the girls of 1-A practically dragged me to my room to get me ready for the dance. Mina, Momo and Ochaco teamed up on picking the dress while Toru and Jirou teamed up on curing my hair. Once my hair was finished being curled and fully hair sprayed, Toru pinned one side of my hair out of my face with bobby pins before Mina, Asui and Ochaco carefully helped me into the dress they chose: an adorable white, off the shoulder sundress that fell to my knees in length. While Ochaco grabbed a pair of white heels for me to wear, Mina did my makeup for me. I put my heels on myself once Mina was done and grabbed my purse, blushing when I saw that all the girls were admiring their work. "Twirl, Y/N! Twirl for us!" Toru cheered at me. I blushed and twirled. The dress spun before falling back into place, the girls awwing before I spoke up, looking at the time.
"Uh, guys? It's 6:45." My words forced them into action, a unanimous:
"Oh, crap!" Leaving each of the girls as they scampered off to go get ready, realizing they had very little time left to ready themselves because of fawning over every little detail when it came to me. I giggled and looked at my reflection. I didn't look completely like myself, but for the first time in a long time... I felt... Beautiful.
At 7, I left the comfortable confines of my room to join everyone else in the common room. I felt my face turn dark red as the chatter from the boys suddenly stopped, all attention on me.
"Damn, Yamada, you look great." Kirishima spoke up first, a grin on his face.
"Great? Try goregous!" Sero spoke up. All the boys except for Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kamin... I mean Denki, started arguing about what word was best to describe me. I snuck a look at Denki. That teasing bastard was wearing black dress pants with really nice black shoes and a tucked in, white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone. He just had to dress like that for tonight... I exchanged glances with Denki, and I swear, there was a shit-eating grin on Kaminari's face as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Man, if I'd known you'd get all cleaned up this good for me, I would have asked you out weeks ago." Denki told me as he looked down at me.
"Blame the girls, they wouldn't let me out of my room until I accepted their wish to do a full on makeover." I blushed darker. "You cleaned up really nice too, by the way." He grinned down at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"Only for my baby... Besides, girls should know you didn't need to put on makeup and style your hair just to impress me, princess. You're beautiful to me no matter what you look like." He whispered in my ear before softly kissing the tip of my nose. I hid my dark red face in his chest as Kaminari spoke up over the guys, cutting off their arguement. "It's all very flattering, but the best word to describe her is simple: Angelic." I could practically feel the cheesy smile he was shooting at me in that second. I looked up at him and opened my mouth to respond, but the girls had joined us just then.
When we got there, Dad was blasting music left and right, doing his DJ thing as always. I laughed a bit as I saw him living up. I had to admit, the decoration committee did an awesome job at turning the big old gym into a dancefloor. I felt Kaminari kiss my cheek and I turned toward him. "Go ahead and say hi to your Dad, I'll grab us some punch." He told me. I smiled and nodded before pulling him down into a quick kiss... Which he turned into 3 sweet little pecks. I giggled and he winked before leaving my side. As I made my way toward the DJ booth, Jirou caught me.
"Y'know, we all knew he had a crush on you. As soon as you guys started doing dance lessons, he suddenly stopped flirting with all the girls and started keeping Mineta in line." She told me.
"Seriously?" I asked. She nodded.
"Yeah, Mina and I knew it was a matter of time before he asked you out. We just weren't expecting it to happen yesterday." She told me. I smiled. "I really am happy for you guys. You especially look extremely happy."
"I haven't smiled like this in a long time, Jirou." I told her honestly. She smiled and we exchanged a hug before I continued walking toward my Dad. He grinned when he saw me and exited the DJ booth for a second to give me a hug.
"You look beautiful, baby bird." Dad told me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. I smiled up at him.
"Thanks, Dad." I told him.
"You nervous for the dance?"
"A little. But, I've been practicing for the past two weeks, so I think I'll be okay."
"Who is your partner anyway? Everytime I was about to find out, I got pulled away."
"You'll see, Dad." I winked at him before leaving to rejoin Denki. Instead, I ran into the only person who could ruin the night for me.....
"Wow, Y/N, you never dressed like this for me." Monoma crooned at me.
"I never felt comfortable until now, please excuse me." I said as I started to walk away. My heart came to a slamming hault in my chest as Monoma grabbed my wrist, stopping me from going anywhere. "M-Monoma, let me go!" I told him, feeling a panic attack coming on. My anxiety was shooting through the roof....
"You're not going anywhere with him." Monoma hissed at me. "You're mine."
"Not anymore." I yanked my wrist out of his grip, gingerly holding it. "Denki cares about me way more than you ever could care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I'd take back dating you if I could." I told him, trying to calm myself down. He growled, roughly grabbing my arm and pushing me into a corner. My breathing got so short, I couldn't breathe.
"Wrong move." He snarled at me. Right before he could touch me, he yelped, a spark of electricity zapping through him. Behind him was Denki, his quirk crackling in his right hand, and boy did he looked pissed.
"Denki." A breath of relief left me as I scampered behind him, feeling his right hand hold mine as Monoma growled angrily, getting back up.
"Nobody puts my baby in a corner." Denki snarled, aiming a bolt of his quirk at the ground near Monoma's feet. That blue eyed, selfish blond screamed like a girl and ran for it, his classmates laughing at him while Kendo scolded him. As soon as Monoma was gone, Denki deactivated his quirk, turned around and wrapped his arms around me protectively. "You okay, babe?" He asked. I nodded.
"I am now." I told him before kissing his cheek. "Thanks for saving me." He grinned down at me and winked just as my Dad announced that it was time to dance. He let go of me and offered his arm.
"Shall we, milady?" He asked. I giggled and took his arm.
"Do you even have to ask?" I questioned in counter. He chuckled before leading me to the dancefloor. Once of the floor, we took our starting positions before the beat of the song started. (A/N: Start listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen for this part ^.^).
As soon as the beat started, we started to move, our eyes never leaving each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see all of Class 1-A gathered around us, watching us as we danced. "Everyone's watching us." I whispered to him.
"They don't matter right now. It's just you and me right now, baby." He whispered back with a grin. I giggled as I had fun, dancing with him. I knew, without a doubt, that my Dad was watching us, and I mentally cringed. Denki wasn't exactly popular with the teachers in a good way..... My thoughts distracted me enough to make me trip over my own feet after the second verse. Thank God for Denki, because he caught me and made it look like he was dipping me, which caused our classmates to cheer. He winked. "Told you I'd catch you." He softly told me. I smiled and we continued to dance, Denki spinning me at certain points and the next dip he did being during the instrumental after the bridge after twirling me again.
We continued dancing until the music started to fade out, stopping in the middle and slowly bringing our conjoined hands down. A roar of applause thundered from the crowd and Denki pulled me into a hug. I did it.... I danced with my boyfriend without getting embarrased! I felt him tense a bit after a second and I turned to see my Dad giving Denki the "I'm watching you" look. I rolled my eyes and pulled Denki into a kiss, feeling him hold me tighter as we kissed.
This night couldn't have been more perfect.....
Epliouge ( A/N: Extra just for fun!)
A couple days after the dance, Monoma tried to corner me again, this time being stupid enough to do it while the BakuSquad was still around me. I heard a snarl leave my boyfriend, but I put my hand out, stopping him from doing anything as I glared at my ex as he fired off insult after insult at me. But, he really crossed the line, pissing me off in the process, when he insulted Denki. Finally having had enough, I slammed my locker shut and faced Monoma with the sharpest glare on my face. If looks could kill.... "Monoma, you are absolutely pathetic. You can say whatever you want about me, but insulting my boyfriend? It's about time you GET A LIFE!" I used my quirk on Monoma, letting out the loud energy I had contained for months on end thanks to him. He flew backwards and hit the wall while Sero, Kirishima, even Bakugo laughed their asses off. Denki smirked as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Told you: You're a badass." Denki told me.
"Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of here." I told my friends, walking out beside my boyfriend.
(A/N: Tada! ^.^ Hope you guys enjoyed!)
Taglist: @lxvely-mha @fakeanimefanntnt
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d3-iseefire · 4 years
Text
Beneath the Surface Chapter 2
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I was going to post the rest on AO3 and send you all there but I changed my mind, partly cause I like this mood board and wanted to use it again. :D :D
Chapter 2
Bilba sat on the windowsill and stared dully through the dirty panes. It was a brilliant spring day, with a crystal-clear blue sky and a bright sun.
Down below she could see the younger kids running about, playing tag or building forts out of old cardboard boxes. One of the older girls was seated on the tree swing, reading a book, while others from the older set were playing on bikes or skateboards.
Bilba knew dimly that she should be out there with them. Some of the kids had even invited her to go play, and her foster mother had been up three times to encourage her to go outside.
As if any of them actually cared. They hadn’t worried when she’d been gone for weeks, hadn’t batted an eye when she’d returned. Now, suddenly, she was expected to believe they cared whether or not she left her room?
Hardly.
Her legs were beginning to cramp where they were curled under her, but she couldn’t find the energy to shift her position. Her entire body rested against the window, forehead against one of the panes.
It had been a month.
Two weeks since he’d stopped calling or trying to visit.
“If it bothers you so much maybe you should have answered the damn phone.”
That was what Essie had said. She was a few months younger than Bilba and had carried a torch for Fili since the day she’d seen him. The fact he only ever wanted to hang out with Bilba made her angry, and she usually took that anger out on Bilba in the form of snide comments and asides. 
It had never mattered before, because Bilba had Fili in the end so who cared what anyone else thought?
Except now she didn’t have him.
She’d probably never had him, just the same as Essie had never had him but she’d at least had the good sense to realize it.
The worn wooden floorboards creaked behind her and Bilba shut her eyes and pretended to be sleeping. Hopefully, whoever had come in would get what they wanted and leave her alone.
“Bilba?”
Damn.
Bilba opened her eyes and lifted her head to see her foster mother's new boyfriend, whose name she couldn't quite remember, standing there. He was middle aged and short with an already receding hairline and wide framed glasses. He was nice enough, but had no experience with children and struggled to relate to them.
Bilba had always felt sorry for him. He was so out of his element and yet tried so hard.
But, then again, he hadn’t looked for her while she’d been gone either, had he?
“What?” she asked tiredly.
He nodded over his shoulder. "Diane wants to see you.”
Bilba grimaced. The last thing she wanted was a lecture or, worse than that, sympathy. She was not at a point where she could handle sympathy, probably never would be. “Can it wait?”
“No,” the man said in a tone he probably hoped was firm. He frowned and then nodded at the old sweatpants and ragged t-shirt she was wearing. “You’ll need to get dressed first.”
Bilba had no idea why she needed to be properly dressed to go speak to her foster mother but couldn’t find the energy to care enough to ask.
“You’ll need to get out then,” she said instead. 
He flushed with embarrassment, and turned toward the door. “Be quick about it, they don’t want to be kept waiting.”
Bilba froze in the act of unwinding her legs. “They? Who are they?”
She was speaking to an empty room, however, as the man -- Tom? Ted? -- whatever, had already left.
Her stomach clenching with sudden nerves, Bilba hobbled to the small chest where she stored her things. Blood began to rush through her legs, and she grimaced in discomfort. She fell to her knees with a heavier thud than she’d intended, and opened the lid of the chest.
Don’t be ridiculous, she chided herself as a wild hope began to bloom. It’s not them. Her heart began to beat faster, defying her, and her hands trembled as she reached inside.
She chose a sundress and sandals that Fili always compliment her on, hating herself for being pathetic even as she stood to undress and pull the dress on.
It wasn’t them, she thought, as she staggered on still half numb legs to close and lock the chest. It wasn’t, especially not after all the things she’d said, and after the way she’d ignored his calls and visits.
He wouldn’t want her after all that.
No one would.
A deep pit opened in her stomach as she pulled her hair into a high ponytail. Her vision wavered, and she took a shaky breath. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not them, don’t get your hopes up.
She steeled herself, shoved her feet into her sandals and marched out the door.
She could could hear the faint sound of voices from the living room. Again, her traitorous heart started to race, and her breathing became shallow. She felt hot and cold at the same time and she felt almost sick to her stomach from nerves.
Her lungs nearly frozen in her chest, she reached the end of the hall and turned the corner.  
The first person she spotted was her foster mother, a tall woman with silver streaked dark hair and a strangely blissful expression on her face.
Bilba looked past her...and it wasn’t Fili. Or his uncle, or any other member of his family.
Her throat clogged and she set her jaw against the sudden rush of misery that threatened to overwhelm her.
Of course it wasn’t them.
Life wasn’t a damn fairy tale. There were no happy endings, least of all for her.
There were two young men standing in the center of the living room. She’d never seen either of them before. They looked so much alike they could have been twins. As Bilba looked at them the only thing she could think was...bland. There wasn’t one thing about them that stood out, that suggested individuality, or even personality.
She met the eyes of one, and something deep inside her flinched at the flat, dead expression in his eyes. An almost primordial response ran through her as if her subconscious was reacting to...something.
“Ah, Bilba.” Her foster mother stood and came around the desk with a big smile. “Congratulations, my dear. I know you’ve been waiting for this day a long time.”
Bilba frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?"
The only big event she could think of in her future was her eighteenth birthday. It was still two and a half weeks away and would hardly be a day of celebration. She’d put things off to the last minute, not wanting to face the truth, and then concern over Fili had pushed it off even further. Now, thanks to all that, she was facing the very real possibility of being jobless, and potentially homeless, when her birthday finally did arrive. 
“Oh, I’m not talking about that, my dear,” her foster mother exclaimed, coming to grab Bilba’s hands. “I’m talking about your adoption of course. I know you’ve been excited, and now the waiting is finally over!”
Bilba was literally struck speechless. For several seconds she ran the words through her mind trying to make some sort of sense out of them.
“What?” she finally asked, dumbly. “What are you talking about? I’m not getting adopted.”
“Of course you are!” This came from one of the men standing in the center of the room. He scurried forward and grabbed Bilba’s hands in a grip that seemed unnaturally strong given his slight stature. His hands were also insanely cold, like two blocks of ice, numbing her skin and sending slivers of ice up her forearms. 
Bilba tried to pull her hands back, but the man tightened his grip. She looked at him and her heart jolted as the way the man's mouth was twisted in an unnatural sneer. 
“What are you doing?” she demanded, a tremor running through her as her adrenaline spiked. “Let me go!”
The other man was suddenly there, grabbing her by the upper arm and sending that same, unnatural smile at her foster mother. “Thank you again for all your help. We’ll be going now.”
With that they began to head toward the door, dragging Bilba along with them.
Panic set in, and Bilba set her heels and tried to pull away from them. Her sandals were slip-ons, and they twisted as she fought to hold her place, causing her to stumble and nearly fall.
The second man scowled in annoyance and forced her upright again. “Now, now, none of that.”
“No.” Bilba twisted around, trying to see her foster mother. Despite apparently not noticing her weeks long absence, the woman had always been kind and tried to do what was best for her kids under her care. "Why are you just watching? Stop them!”
Her foster mother simply continued to smile serenely and waved. “Oh, you’re quite welcome, my dear. It makes the struggle worth it, seeing you kids find homes.”
“What?” Bilba whispered. She kicked her shoes off to try and gain purchase, but the two men lifted her like she weighed nothing and half carried, half dragged her toward the door. “They didn’t adopt me! They’re kidnapping me!”
Her dress tangled about her legs as she struggled and her feet stung as they caught on splinters from the rough, wooden floorboards. The grip on her arms was brutally tight and she could already feel deep bruises forming.
She whimpered in fear as she was dragged upright again. The second man shook his head at her. “I said, none of that.”
Bilba barely had a chance to process his hand drawing back, before pain exploded through her face and the side of her jaw. Blackness washed over her and she sagged in their grip.
Dimly, she felt one of them take her legs while the other put his arms under her armpits and, together, they lifted her. Her head sagged back and then she was being carried out.
They took her right down the stairs and out the front door. Bilba could hear the laughter and yelling as her foster siblings played. She tried sluggishly to call for help, but all she heard back for her efforts were variations of “Congratulations, Steph!” and “Bye Steph!”
It was like the entire world had gone mad. No one could see what was happening. No one even cared.
Fili's voice suddenly ran through her head, with his constant talk of monsters and things that lurked in the shadows.
He’d been telling her the truth, she realized with sudden, horrific clarity.
All those years.
All those things he’d said.
It had all been real.
Her feet were set on the ground. She felt the hardness of concrete under her soles, and the fine grit of dirt and debris pressing into the skin. An arm slid around her waist, and her arm was dragged over someone’s neck.
“Why are you doing this?” The haze was beginning to clear, leaving her with a dull ache in her jaw, but she continued to sag and behave as if she were still stunned.
“Because you won’t be missed,” one of the men said from beside her. “Just relax, dear. It’ll all be over soon.”
Bilba tensed. She didn’t want it to all be over, soon or at all. She wanted...
She wanted...
She wanted Fili.
God, but she wanted him. He’d telling the truth. All those years, and she’d never once believed him, never even considered it. Not even with all the proof, the strange trips, the injuries, the crucifix he always insisted she wear or his insistence on always placing salt along her windowsill and the bottom of her door.
Ahead of her, she saw a small, non-descript sedan idling at the curb with its trunk wide open. She bit back a whimper and felt herself begin to shake uncontrollably.
“No,” she whispered. “No, I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to go in there.”
“Well,” the second man said from over her head. “I suppose no one cares what you want, do they?”
That wasn’t true.
Fili had cared, hadn’t he?
When they’d gone out it had always been to where she wanted to go, to movies she wanted to see. Even when they’d gone to the beach all those years ago, it had only been after she’d told him how badly she wanted to see the ocean.
Her vision blurred and she sucked in a sob as tears began to run down her face.
God, why was she only realizing this now?
Who stuck with someone they didn’t like for over a decade? Especially when they didn’t have to? All he had to do was stop coming. Not give her a phone. Never take her out of the home for trips.
Not try to visit or call her after their fight.
Bilba burst into tears and it was only partly from the fear. Why was it all becoming so crystal-clear now? Now, when it was all far, far too late?
She was never going to see Fili again. Never going to get the chance to apologize or tell him how much she loved him.
He’d go his entire life thinking she hated him, and that was the absolute last thing she felt. 
The two pulled her off the curb and onto the street. The asphalt was scorching on her feet. The burst of pain was like a bolt of lightning through her body and she gasped and tried futilely to pull her feet away.
Her head jerked up as she struggled, and she found herself looking directly at Fili.
Fili who was rounding the corner at the end of the block, Kili in tow beside him. He was wearing a leather jacket she was sure he’d inherited from his uncle; his blond hair was mussed and unruly...and he was the single most beautiful sight she’d ever seen.
“Fili!” The scream was ripped from someplace deep inside her, tearing through her throat.
Fili’s head snapped up from whatever he’d been saying to Kili and for a single, horrible, moment, Bilba was terrified he’d be under the same delusion that everyone else was. That he’d looked her right in the eye and simply wave as she was forced in a trunk and taken away.
Then she saw his expression change into one of horror, heard him shout, and relief rushed through her.
The man holding her cursed. “I thought you said she had no one?”
“She doesn’t,” the other man insisted. “I checked!”
Their grip loosened, for just a split second, and Bilba didn’t hesitate. She twisted and kneed the man in the groin as hard as she could. At the same time, she grabbed the second man by the hair, wrenched him down, and slammed his head into the back bumper.
She took off, running toward Fili. He’d started running toward her, Kili just behind him.
Arms wrapped around her waist, and she screamed again. “Fili!” The arms lifted her up and she pushed at the grip and kicked, desperately trying to free herself. “Fili! Help me!”
She was thrown to the side, and then she was in the backseat of the car. She lunged toward the door, only to have hands grab her from behind and wrench her back again.
The door slammed shut. A moment later the second man slid into the driver’s seat. Bilba heard the rumble of the engine start up, and her stomach wrenched as the car pulled away from the curb.
She tried to lunge forward, toward the door, but the grip around her was like granite. The other man put a hand over her mouth, clamping off her air.
Bilba arched backward, trying to free herself, but to no avail. She scrabbled, clawing at the hands with her nails and trying to reach behind her to find something, anything to cause damage, but she might as well have been held by a statue.
Pressure built in her lungs, and her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might burst right out of her chest. Her brain screamed at her to breathe and she wanted to, god she wanted to so much, but the hands wouldn’t move.
Dots swam in her vision and blackness started to eat in at the edges. Her movements grew weaker and more lethargic, until fighting itself became too much effort and her arms fell limp to her side.
Her last conscious thought was she really wished she’d taken Fili’s call.
Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702031/chapters/51764428
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bunnyhani · 5 years
Text
A Little Insomniac
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Pairing: (Platonic!) Seo Changbin x Bang Chan. (Also Platonic! Stray Kids x Seo Changbin on the side.)
Genre: Fluff and angst. (It seems like I don’t write anything else.. xD)
Warnings: Not really? Some language..? Insomnia..
Summary: Changbin has never self-proclaimed himself as someone who suffers from insomnia. Sure, there were sometimes nights when he couldn't fall asleep easily, but he always did in the end and successfully slept through the night. Until he didn't.
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Changbin was tired. The comeback was so near and he felt drained. Of course making music was fun and all that jazz, but so was sleeping. He felt like he was a walking corpse and so were others, so he wasn't a special snowflake. Then there were Chan and Jisung, who were on a entirely different scale of tiredness. They were exhausted, but somehow they kept going. They might have been more irritated than usual, but they still held onto their beautiful smiles and interacted with the members, helping them out and doing other activities. Of course, Changbin did too, but he felt like he just... Wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. He always looked forward to getting to his bed, when all the lights were off and the dorms were dark, tiptoeing to their rooms along with the rest of 3racha. Sometimes the morning sun was peeking it's light through the window blinds and Changbin merely glared at the window then, always shutting the blinds more tighter. The sunlight just reminded him how little rest he was going to get and how unproductive he was (he wasn't but that's how he felt like).
Changbin collapsed onto his bunk bed, slightly shaking it but thankfully, Hyunjin wasn't bothered, if the boy's snoring was anything to go by. He whispered his good night to Jisung who just grumbled something similar in return, before falling asleep. Changbin just listened to the room, which was now filled with other people's calm breathing. It was kind of creepy thinking about it, since he was actually just listening to people breathe when they slept, but Changbin really couldn't do anything else. He also found comfort in it, it reminded him that he was never truly alone. While on some days he was annoyed by this fact, but during nights, he was just glad. It was kind of like unintentional ASMR. Changbin tiredly chuckled at himself, finally letting the sleep invade his mind and push everything else aside, and lay out its thick fog. The fog clouded his mind, he closed his eyes and before he knew it, he was pulled into the dreamland.
Changbin suddenly opened his eyes. His mind was messy from sleep and he had hard time grasping what was going on. He sat upright, hands shaking and he could feel his t-shirt sticking uncomfortably against his skin because of the sweat. He felt a little breathless and his heart was racing. Changbin put his hand over his heart, glancing down at his chest, even though he couldn’t see a thing in the darkness. As he realized that he couldn’t see, it set an alarm off in his head. He was going into panic mode and he needed to do something about this before it escalated. He felt around the bed for his phone and grasped it tightly, when he did. He started looking through his photo albums, where he knew that there was a gif that helped him breathe. It was literally like gif of a box inflating and deflating, back and forth and there was a text underneath that was timed with the box’s moves. It instructed him to breathe, kind of like copying the box’s movements. It usually helped when he wasn’t too panicked. Right now, he wasn’t and he started breathing more regularly. When his heart rate had slowed down and he felt calm, he just sat there, hunched over. What the hell was that? He didn’t remember having a nightmare that would have caused him to wake up. Now that he really thought about it, he couldn’t find a single reason that why did he wake up. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face tiredly. He glanced at the clock on his phone. 4am. Changbin was so tired but so frustrated that he wanted to sleep and simultaneously scream. He settled for huffing loudly and more or less, slammed himself down onto the mattress that thankfully softened the impact. Not that Changbin actually cared at the moment. He just wanted to sleep. So he waited for sleep to come and take him again.
Changbin listened as Hyunjin’s alarm started ringing loudly in the otherwise quiet room. There were several groans and he could hear Jisung getting down from his bunk bed to go and slam Hyunjin’s alarm off before anyone else would go and smash the thing into tiny pieces. Changbin didn’t get up, he had no motivation or energy to face the day just yet, so he didn’t move. He had been going in and out of sleep most of the night, which annoyed him to no end. When the room started getting alive, only then did he force himself out of the bed. He climbed down and breathed deeply through his nose. He changed out of his pyjamas into a hoodie and sweats. Changbin could already feel the huge bedhead that he had from tossing and turning most of the night, but he wasn’t in the mood for dealing with it, so he just put on a beanie to cover it. Not that it really mattered, since all the members looked a little disheveled in the morning. Changbin didn’t really feel hungry, but still ate so nobody would get concerned over nothing. So what if he had one sleepless night? It’s not like he was a baby and couldn’t deal with it, so he didn’t see a reason to talk about it either. It was just one night, right? It was not like it was going to be a regular occurence.
The day went on it’s normal tracks, they practiced, 3racha worked on their songs and they ate. There were some messing around from the maknae line, but that was to be expected. As they had a 15 minute break from dancing, he slumped against the cold mirror of the practice room. Miroh was playing in the background, the members were sprawled across the floor and some were drinking water and conversing with each other. Changbin closed his eyes, it wouldn’t hurt anyone if he just rested his eyes a bit.
Someone shook Changbin’s shoulder gently and patted his cheek in attempt to wake him up. Changbin opened his heavy eyelids and came face to face with Chan. Chan was looking tired, but still fond.
“Come on, Bin. The break is over”, the leader said while still stroking his cheek. Changbin, still dazed, nodded tiredly but still leaned into Chan’s touch. He started falling asleep again because of the continuous movement against his cheek, but he was snapped back to reality when Chan moved his hand away. He whined at the loss of comfort, usually he wouldn’t have done it or even let Chan pet him like a dog, but he was sleep deprived so who could blame him. Although Chan was smiling, he could see the older’s eyes twinkling with worry.
“Are you okay?” Chan asked, bringing his hand back to Changbin, but this time feeling his forehead. When Changbin’s mind caught up on what Chan was doing, he lazily slapped the hand away.
“I’m not sick, hyung. I’m fine. Just a little tired”, he grumbled and forced himself to get up from the cold floor.
“If you say so”, Chan said, still keeping an eye on him. They continued dancing until they were done with the session. By that time, Changbin couldn’t even describe how he felt at that moment. He still went on with his day, joking around with others, although he was more quiet than usual. Nobody seemed to notice and if they did, they didn’t say anything. It wasn’t unheard of that sometimes each of them had trouble with sleeping sometimes, for some reason Chan still worried. Maybe it was him being just overprotective, but he did.
3racha were cooped up in the studio, still fixing some tracks and going through lyrics to see if there was anything to improve. Changbin busied himself with reading the lyrics and found himself nodding off once in a while. Jisung was pretty much in the same condition, it was quite hilarious to see how the younger’s head lolled side to side occasionally. If only he knew that he looked exactly the same. Chan just watched at the duo who were more or less coming in and out of sleep. He shook his head, but let them fall asleep. By the looks of it, they both needed it. Slowly but surely, the two younger ones did fall asleep.
Changbin jolted awake again, slamming his knee against the desk in the process. He hissed in pain and rubbed his knee with a wince. Chan had just been glancing at the two, just make sure that neither one of them were falling from their chairs or anything else. He had witnessed how Changbin had just jolted awake, from the peaceful sleep.
“Oh my God, Bin, are you okay?” he asked, moving quickly to the rapper's side. Changbin just groaned in answer and rubbed his knee.
“Fuck, yeah, I'm fine”, he replied, hissing out the curse word.
“Was it a nightmare that woke you up? You just kind of… Jumped awake and looked distressed”, Chan continued, ignoring Chanbin’s cursing since he was clearly in pain.
“Might have been because I slammed my knee kinda hard against the damn table”, Changbin retorted dryly. Chan didn't say anything and just waited for him to answer his other question. The silence was unbearable for Changbin and he finally answered:
“No… I don't know what woke me up. I just did.” Chan frowned at the answer, he could see how bothered Changbin was over the matter, so he didn't press it any further. Changbin was puzzled and concerned. This was the second time this had happened in a row. And it had happened right in front of Chan too, why on earth had Chan let him fall asleep? Then he remembered that Chan had no idea of what Changbin was going through, so of course, he had let him sleep. Well him and Jisung both. Jisung was still dead to the world, drooling onto the palm of his hand and the boy shifted slightly in his sleep. Even though his head was in an awkward angle, he still seemed to be  very comfortable. Something that Changbin was envious of. He shook himself out his thoughts and went back to work. If anyone asked, they all had been working hard and definitely not sleeping and drooling all over the place.
The work day was finally over and 3racha finally actually came home in a humane time of the day.. Or late evening. They came back to the dorms at 9pm and the members had some mental peace, now knowing that the hard-working trio were going to get a proper sleep after a longer while. Changbin was still skeptical about his sleep though. While he was tired, yes, he wasn’t sure that would he be able to fall asleep or wake up again. As he climbed into his bunk bed, he googled reasons why did he wake up at night. Most suggested stress and anxiety. And they were the reasons that made the most sense, and he absolutely hated it. Why did he have to be an anxious person? He was still luckier than Felix, as he could hide his anxiousness easier and control it, but it sometimes it bothered him. And apparently affected his sleeping too, he added in his mind. His whole being felt heavy and he prayed that he could finally sleep like a normal human. His prayers, however, were not answered. Changbin wasn’t surprised at all as he woke up at 3am this time. After awhile of lying down and overthinking, he did fall asleep again, and thank goodness, he didn’t wake up again until Hyunjin’s loud ass alarm started ringing.
The week went on with similar pattern: he would work, eat, practice and after falling asleep, he would wake up in the middle of the night. He was starting to get desperate on what to do. He had tried to drink chamomile tea to calm his nerves, took melatonin and avoided looking at his phone before he went to sleep, but he always woke up in the darkness every night. Changbin started getting a little scared of falling asleep. It was dumb and childish, since the worst that could happen was that he would wake up during the night and wouldn’t fall asleep again or would continue going in and out of sleep. There was nothing to be afraid of, but he still did fear it. No matter how much he repeated to himself that it was irrational and dumb, he couldn’t really bring himself to believe the words when he actually did wake up. Other members had noticed how jumpy he was becoming and despite going to sleep fairly early, his dark circles didn’t lighten. If anything, they got darker.  
It was Sunday night and he woke up again. This time he was drenched in sweat and in no time he had tears pooling in his eyes. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, so he broke down crying. He tried to stifle his sobs that shook his whole body and in distress, pulled at his hair. He silently sobbed until his eyes were dry and even blinking hurted. The tears had burned his already dry lips and he could feel how swollen his eyes were, yet he didn’t care. There was nobody to see him in this state anyway, he thought to himself as he leaned his head against his knees that he had pulled to this chest. He decided that he had enough of sitting in the dark room, being suffocated by his own thoughts and tiptoed to the bathroom in plans of blowing his nose and splash his face with some water. What he wasn't expecting, was to hear someone walking towards the kitchen. He quickly tried to bactrack but slammed straight against a wall, hoping that the person, who was walking, hadn’t seen or heard him. Well, the last hope was completely crushed as he stumbled on something that made a loud clattering sound and the fact that him slamming against the wall also created quite a loud noise. He cursed under his breath and leaned his head against the wall.
“Hello? Who is in there?” The person, who revealed to be Chan, asked cautiously into the darkness. As he was debating that should he make a run for it and possibly run into walls (again) and create a big mess or try to wait it out, Chan had moved from his spot in the kitchen and was fumbling around, looking for a light switch. The lights were turned on suddenly and it blinded Changbin momentarily, he automatically brought his hands to his face to shield his poor eyes, which were already stinging from crying.
“Changbin?” the leader asked, confused. Why was Changbin awake at this hour of the night? He scanned the younger with his gaze, trying to find a reason why he was up and that’s when he saw Changbin’s chapped, dry lips and how the younger rapper was covering his eyes. Chan said his name again, this time getting his attention. Changbin looked up, locking eyes with the elder. Chan’s heart broke seeing Changbin’s bloodshot eyes and eyelids that were swollen, which just told him that the young man had been crying. He slowly made his way to the young rapper, putting his hand onto his shoulder in a calming manner. He didn’t say anything, just let Changbin lean against him and soak himself in comfort and warmth that his body emitted. He wrapped Changbin into his arms and rubbed the rapper’s tense back. Slowly but surely Changbin started relaxing and trusted Chan enough to hold his weight, when he melted against him.
“I haven’t been able to sleep well this week… I keep waking up in the middle of the night”, Changbin confessed quietly, words a little muffled as his face was pressed against Chan’s chest. Chan still understood and tightened his hold a little.
“Do you know why?” he asked carefully. All what he got back in response was a weak shake of the head and a low rumble:
“Well… I’ve googled stuff and the reason that made the most sense in my case would be anxiety. The comeback’s near and I’m a little worried.” He sighed and continued rubbing Changbin’s back.
“I’m not going to scold you, because I know how your mind works… But please, next time when things like these happen, you can come to me, to us. It’s okay Changbin, all of us struggle with sleeping one way or another at some point, we wouldn’t push you away or think that you’re annoying. We would be hypocrites”, Chan said, chuckling at the end his sentence. Changbin just hummed, showing that he had indeed heard him but was too tired to actually reply.
“What about… You come sleep with me and you wake me if you wake up. We can talk about what worries you and what’s going on inside that cute head of yours”, Chan suggested. Changbin found himself just nodding tiredly and together they staggered to Chan’s bed. They slipped under the covers without a fuss, and Changbin would never admit how eagerly he pressed himself against Chan again. Chan smiled broadly, but of course, Changbin couldn’t see it but somehow, he just knew that Chan was smiling like a doofus.
“Stop smiling like that or I’ll kick you off of the bed”, Changbin growled playfully. Chan held his laughter in and nodded, then wrapping himself around Changbin like a koala. Changbin took a deep breath and slowly relaxed again. Soon they both fell asleep. Even though Changbin woke up again later, this time because of a nightmare, Chan held him and reassured that everything was okay and that he was safe. And Changbin believed him. Now knowing that he had someone there for him if he woke up again, he went back into unconsciousness with a bit more ease.
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