#my parents have abandoned me to play cards so this is what we have to deal with

[babysdrivers]

there's really something to be said for spending ur saturday night sitting on ur own drinking cider and blasting 00s rock on kerrang

#my parents have abandoned me to play cards so this is what we have to deal with #keeley.txt

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley is Neige’s Father Theory (+ actual Neige backstory speculation)

You know, I was planning to make this an April Fools theory. I remember finding this headcanon about a year ago, and I’ve always thought it was a funny and cute headcanon to think about.

BUT THEN my hubby @snakevsnis utterly insulted my dignity and pride (kindly said the theory was my most outlandish yet) and I’ve decided to take this seriously. Not playing games anymore, I will collect every bit of flimsy evidence for this ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

This all started out when I saw a closeup of Neige’s eyes to be honest haha 🤣🤣🤣 Why do they look like that?! What’s with that odd glow? All the characters eyes, especially in card art, are quite striking. But I’ve noticed that Fae eyes in particular have a tendency for a stronger glow or just overall more detailed eyes.

But anyway: dark hair, pale skin (this can apply to half the cast but SHH let me be annoying ahxhdbs) If you want to consider Disney’s Snow White, she has “lips red as the rose, hair black as ebony, and skin white as snow”, which we can keep in mind in terms of similarities🤪

People have always mentioned Crowley’s strange connections to Pomefiore and the Evil Queen- perhaps suggesting that he is twisted from the Evil Queen’s crow. Perhaps this, OR THIS IS ALL ACTUALLY A CONNECTION TO NEIGE.

The courtyard apple trees, the mirrors, the wishing well. Aside from the mirrors, all of these feel very reminiscent of Snow White, NOT the Evil Queen. The wishing well was indeed part of the Evil Queen’s castle, but it is Snow White who sings to it to make her wish. Crowley is very protective of the apple trees as well, and seems to honor them greatly. Neige’s first introduction through the commercial LITERALLY has the apple trees in the background as well!!

We also cannot forget his stupid vacation outfit (affectionate), which depicts a crow resting on an apple, and the background is riddled with flowers that look suspiciously like the ones from Snow White’s grave. And now with this uniquely yellow fit that no one expected Crowley to wear, Crowley technically shares the same exact color scheme that Neige (and this Snow White) does: yellow, blue, and red. In his vacation outfit, Crowley even ditches black as his main color and wears white instead.

Because what’s interesting about the Evil Queen’s crow is that the crow does not play a prominent role like Maleficent’s Diablo does. In fact, the crow almost seems afraid of the Evil Queen’s plans, shying away from the apple and afraid of her wicked transformations. In Twisted Wonderland terms, couldn’t that partially make Crowley more sympathetic towards Neige?

I also think it’s funny that Neige probably has the closest reference to a Disney character name, because “Neige” means Snow, and “Blanche” means White in French.His name literally translates to Snow White, and OF COURSE Crowley would name a child so directly after one of these historical figures 😭😭😭

And here’s where my theory gets even more crackish AJDNHDE, but when Crowley transforms into a ghost in the prologue, he notable has the cape of the ghosts in the Dwarfs Mine. The Dwarfs Mine we visited in the prologue is NOT the actual one used in Snow White- instead being a very convincing replica in honor to the Fairest Queen. But even so, there is a cottage that’s exactly the same as the dwarves cottage in Snow White. The ghosts from the prologue say that Ace, Deuce, and Yuu are the first visitors in “ten years.”

Ten years? Neige is around 17 or 18 years old, and his vague backstory heavily implies he’s been abandoned from his birth parents since a young age. So what if- hear me out- Neige for some reason was left behind in the Dwarfs Mine area when he was around 6 or 7 years old, entrusted to the ghosts before he met with his RSA dwarves?!

But let’s also take an actually serious look in Neige’s backstory. Neige’s backstory is shockingly vague, despite being the rival for Vil in Book 5. Book 6 seems to imply that Rook and Vil know more about what Neige went through, but it’s strangely cut off.

Neige has apparently been living with the dwarves and taking care of themselves on their own since a young age. We don’t know yet how dwarves age in Twisted Wonderland- Yuu remarks that they resemble Fae because of their pointed ears, and they may indeed be a type of a Fae. But even if they had the lifespan of Fae like Lilia, the dwarves are also school-age kids. And considering the lack of knowledge regarding Fae in TWST society in general, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were discriminatory laws preventing the dwarves being considered actual adults even if they were far older. The VDC competition shows how all the human audiences consider the dwarves to be cute children- likely even elementary-aged children.

I feel like this further validates the idea that Neige and the dwarves actually lived in the abandoned cottage in the Dwarves Mine- since it was a completely abandoned area, they were able to take the space without worrying over their young ages. The cottage looked abandoned in both Vargas Camp and the prologue because Neige and the dwarves are currently living at RSA. Additionally, in the Book 5 trailer, there were interesting shots of Neige and the dwarves at a bridge, a bench, and a forest. It felt overall very reminiscent of the cottage we see at the Dwarves Mine, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Neige and his friends actually occupied this space before

But with this in mind, how DID Neige secure a filming job or even attend the same middle school as Neige if he had no parental guardians or adult assistance in the first place? Again, I highly doubt that humans would ever seriously consider the dwarves to be Neige’s guardian on the small chance they’re older than Neige, for the same discriminatory implications that I mentioned above.

If Crowley was Neige’s father, I’m sure he managed to pull some strings in the background even if Neige was left behind for some unknown reason. Much like Diaval in the live-action Maleficent, Neige was essentially the Aurora that Crowley was taking care of from afar. Going back to Crowley’s vacation outfit, the crow resting on the apple reminds me a lot of Diaval in his bird form looking over Aurora in her cradle. I’m sure Neige has strong magic power of his own, but I find it interesting that he ended up at RSA despite most of his focus growing up was between his job and chores at home. Perhaps Crowley couldn’t get him into NRC, but did put in a good word for him with Ambrose and eased the application process for Neige

I also feel like Neige would indeed have stronger magic BECAUSE he’d be half-Fae like Sebek. His glowing eyes is the only physical indicator of his Fae heritage, but he also has the magic to boost.

And the most unserious note to wrap up this crack theory, they even have a similar taste in shoes because what is this 😭😭😭

This is all to say that I um. May or may not have been working on a chaptered fic for a long while now based on this premise of Crowley being Neige’s father so 😭😭😭 yeah. Um. Look forward to or dread that 🤣🤣🤣

(I will steal your kitchen sink if anyone says this is more convincing from my also crack Malleus and Crowley theories PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣 /j)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst theory #dire crowley #twst dire crowley #twst Crowley #twst neige #twst neige leblanche #neige leblanche #twst crack theory #twst headcanon #kallistopost

[mrsdarkandyandere7]

Sad Story

Pairing: Dark Billy Hargrove x (female) Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

SUMMARY: You and Billy have a fight but he knows exactly the right cards to play to make you come back to him. 

WARNINGS: Emotional Manipulation; Toxic Relationship.

AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.

--

A knock on your window makes you jump on the bed. Who the hell knocks on windows in the middle of the night? 

Slowly approaching the window, you can’t see anything from outside with the curtain until  you hear Billy’s voice, pleading with you to open the window. 

“C’mon, baby. I just want to make things right, okay? I want to apologize.” he sounds truthful but you hesitate for a moment, biting your lip.

Earlier you got into an argument with him, all over the fact that he was too possessive of you. You don't appreciate being treated like an object but Billy struggled to understand that and it made things worse.

He yelled awful things, claiming you’re his possession and nothing else. That made you upset enough to skip school in order to avoid seeing him. 

“I don’t want to talk. Just go home, Billy.” you exclaim. taking a peek at the window. 

“I’m not leaving until we talk this through. So, you either let me up or I’m staying here all night.” you almost groan in annoyance, but you remember to keep quiet as your parents are sleeping.

You take a peek at the window and notice how Billy is precariously hanging on the window so you immediately open the window, afraid of him falling down. 

“Gosh, took you long enough, babe.” he climbs over the window, crashing into the room with a loud noise and you take a finger to your lips, indicating him to be silent. 

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I love you, okay? So, don’t be mad at me.” he whispers. You both share an awkward look as you’re still resentful of his actions.

You cross your arms in front of your chest, looking at him with a blank face and for a moment, his eyes flash with anger but it’s gone the very next moment. He mindlessly rubs a hand into his hair, biting his lip. 

“I guess I went overboard with it. I was just…afraid, you know? That you’d abandon me, like my mom did.” he looks to the ground as he says those words, his eyes shining with tears and you feel like you’ve been punched on the face.

You almost forgot about his bad childhood and all the problems he has with his dad. How he was abandoned by his mom. 

You throw yourself into Billy’s arms, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Oh, Billy. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I swear I won’t leave you, I was just upset but I’d never abandon you, I promise.” you declare, all of your previous irritation evaporated. 

What you don’t see is Billy’s smirk, satisfied that his sob story managed to make you go back to him. 

#@mrsdarkandyandere7 #yandere stranger things #dark billy hargrove #dark billy hargrove x reader #dark!billy hargrove #dark!billy hargrove x reader #yandere billy hargrove #yandere billy hargrove x reader #yandere!billy hargrove #yandere!billy hargrove x reader #tw: yandere #tw: toxic relationships #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove scenarios

[quinnylouhughesx43]

Dear Luke

authors note: if you haven’t yet please read “is your brother Luke?” Parts one & two, before continuing. They are the kick off of the AU.

Summary: Lyla writes Luke a letter about what she wanted for him with Lillian if he were to ever receive the letter she was writing.

Warning: this is an “if you’re reading this” style ‘letter’ to Luke, so it is written as if OC expected to die, discusses/mentions abandoning child, mentions illness, ex urging to move on, i believe that is all. This is also meant to be “scattered brained” as Lyla isn’t supposed to be writing a letter like this after she just had a baby. She’s supposed to be spending time with her little one.

Dear Luke,

If you’re reading this, then my parents have already broken their own hearts and handed her over to you. I made them promise to me that if I passed away they would come find you. Lillian deserves to be with her daddy.

I played a lot of your interviews for her and old videos I had of us, so she knows your voice and face. She shouldn’t be too scared of you when she sees you. I always hung on to hope that you would come back to me. I wanted her to know you for when that time came..

The last thing I ever wanted to do was abandon the most perfect baby girl ever. But sometimes the cards you’re dealt end up having a card where you’re chronically ill with something that eventually gets you. I have faith in you that you’ll take her and give her the life she deserves.

Lillian Wren Hughes is everything we ever talked about for us. She is a funny, happy, giggly, and kind baby. I’m glad you get to experience her firsts. Her first tooth coming in and falling out, her first steps, first word, first heartbreak. I’m happy she has you, but you need to have someone too.

Luke, I know you will struggle with this but, it is okay to go out and date someone. Lillian will need a mother figure, outside of your mom. One thing I want from you other than your care for our baby girl is to find someone someday that might actually treat you well. Not someone who uses you for who you are. You need someone who loves you for you.

Last thing of this rambled on, no good emotional tear spotted letter, Lillian has a favorite rabbit. If she is inconsolable, sick, or won’t go down for sleep give it to her and hold her head next to your heart. She will calm down and fall asleep in minutes. (Kind of like someone else I know)

Love,

your Ly

#dad!luke x lillian #Lillian Wren Hughes #Lyla Grace Weaver #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes fic #luke hughes blurb #luke hughes fanfiction #luke hughes #lh43 #luke hughes angst #luke hughes x oc #luke hughes au #if you’re reading this #nhl #nhl writing #nhl fics #nhl fanfiction #quinn hughes fic #jack hughes fic #baby au #cay writes

[gretavangroupie]

Valor (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jake x Reader, Daniel x Reader

Word Count: 13.4k

Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin', Allusions to Drug Use. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Emotional Manipulation, Abandonment, Jealousy, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Weapons, Fighting, Blood, Mentions of Death, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Actions, Crying, Heavy Angst, Allusions to Shady Activities, Coercion, Gambling, Betting. Smut: Kissing, Heavy Petting, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Penetrative Sex.

Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

A new project in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

HER POV

“I want details.” You demanded, determined to understand at least why they were keeping you so involved. 

They both gave you almost the exact same look, half-agitated and half-understanding they had to at least give you something. Jake cleared his throat first. 

“My dad…passed away seven years ago, and when he did, he left behind more than this shop.” Jake drew on his cigarette, readjusting in his seat as he talked. “Ace had a bad gambling problem, so bad that it put him in more debt and more depression than I really ever knew about. He used to hold these poker games for fun, until he started losin’ money, and started making more enemies than he did friends. Shit started to go south really quick. Honestly, it was a lot worse then, than it is now. The law was involved, dirty cops were playin’ cards one night and harassing my dad the next, drifters started to come around and threaten him while he was working…it was an overall unsafe environment for me and Danny.” He went on. 

“Wait.” You interrupted, trying to grasp everything. “Danny, you were always here?”

He nodded. “Yup, I uh, I started off in foster care, but…no one ever wanted to keep me. I was always getting into trouble and fightin’ in school… Jake was my best friend. I stayed here more than I stayed at home…most of the time my foster parents never even knew where I was. But Ace took care of me, when he could hardly even take care of Jake. So one day, it was Thanksgiving, I think. I just…never left. I was still just a kid. Started watching every move Ace made mechanicin’. Taught myself how to fix shit.” He ended the story with a harsh swallow. You knew that was something he didn’t share often. 

You couldn’t help but smile, realizing a little bit more how close these two actually really were. Raised as brothers. 

“So anyway, after my dad died, I was left with all this shit…all the money he owed to people fell into my lap. Not to mention all the other bullshit…the bills, the overdue payments, taxes…he was drowning then, and we’re drowning now.”

“And Teddy, he’s been playing cards here since I can remember.” Danny explained. 

“Teddy…” you repeated. 

“Yeah. He’s the one that called yesterday, he arranges the games. My dad owed him so much money, we’re still paying it back. We have to listen to him when he calls, we don’t have a choice. Every time we have a game and either of us wins, we give him the money. Right off the bat. It’s fuckin' horrible.”

“Well how long until he’s paid off?” You asked. 

“We’ve barely even made a dent, unfortunately.” Jake said, tamping his cigarette out on the floor between his boots. “It’s rare that either of us win.”

“Okay, well things are making a little more sense, I guess…” you could tell they were holding back on all the details, probably sparing you from knowing too much at one time. “So where do I come in, why are you hiding me?”

Jake took a deep breath, and leaned his elbows down on his knees, looking you directly in the eyes.  “You’re collateral. You’re fresh meat. They know that if…they can get to you, they can use you.” 

You felt your stomach drop to the floor. “Use me for what?”

Jake cocked an eyebrow. “To get to me.”

You looked back at Jake, staring each other down as you let it sink in. To get to me… You shook your head. “But that…doesn’t make any sense. Why would they think I mattered to you, at all?” 

You watched a tiny grin form on both of their faces. “They know we’re protective. They know you’ve been hanging around us…and honestly, I bet they know you have money.” Danny chimed in. “Y/N, how much are you payin’ for your motel room?”

“Uh, thirty-five a night, why?” You answered. 

“Are you fuckin' kidding me?!” Jake sat back in his seat as he and Danny exchanged knowing looks of ‘thought so.’

“Wanda.” Danny said, his voice seething. 

“I thought it was steep, but she didn’t give me a choice in the room, said it was all she had—”

“I bet she watched you pull your cold hard cash from your wallet, too, didn’t she?” Danny asked. “Watched you count it out?”

“Y-yeah…so?”

“So,” Jake tried to explain. “Wanda is friends with Teddy’s crew. Christ…She fuckin' told them you had money…they sent Tanya down here to get concrete evidence you were with us…that’s why he called the poker game. They want your money, Y/N. On top of our money. And they know that they can get paid a whole lot quicker if they get a hold of you…they know we would pay up if it was you on the line…”

Your eyes were stuck open at all of the information, trying to soak everything in as it was fed to you. 

“Me on the line…so, so you’re saying they might try to…to kidnap me? Hold me for ransom or something?” You could hardly get the words out. 

Danny nodded slowly while Jake massaged his palms. “Or worse.”

“Worse? What the fuck could be worse?!” You yelled, leaning off of the countertop. Danny stood from the chair, walking over to calm the storm he knew was brewing inside you. You felt him wrap his arms slowly around your neck, in a completely non-sexual way, knowing that if you needed to feel anything right now, it was comfort. 

“We don’t intend on letting you find out. And we don’t intend on giving them the satisfaction of winning like that.” He said, his voice laced with promise. You opened your eyes and peered over Danny’s shoulder, locking eyes with Jake as he nodded his head in agreement. 

“I’ve only been here for like two days, guys…you don’t owe me anything, I just want to get the hell out of here, I never wanted to bring all this trouble…” you felt like you were on the verge of tears, feeling guilty that you inadvertently made their situation worse. 

“You didn’t bring any trouble, Y/N. They’re bad men with bad reputations and shit lives. Teddy’s going to die wanting to bring me strife. It’s like he gets off on the shit…” Jake said, his voice trailing off as he looked at the wall behind you. Danny let go of your shoulders. 

“What, Jake? What is it?” His eyes were glued to the calendar that hung on the wall behind you. 

“Nothing. Today Saturday?” His face had gone completely white, stark as the smoke that bellowed from his cigarette. 

“Yeah, it is…” Danny took your hands in his. “I know it’s fucked, Y/N. It’s so fucked. And I’m so sorry you got dragged into this mess. I know you want to leave, but don’t you agree that the best place for you right now is with us? We can protect you…we know how their minds work…I’d feel so much better if you just, didn’t go back to the motel…”

He was pleading with you, and honestly at this point, you’d be terrified to be alone in that motel after learning everything you learned tonight, especially that Wanda had been snitching on your every fucking move. Bitch. 

You nodded, agreeing with Danny. As pissed off, insulted, and sick as it made you, you felt like you had no choice but to agree. “Alright. If it’s for my safety…I’ll stay here. But I’m not going to like it.” You were going to love it, as fucked as it was. “But honestly, how long? You’ve already been paying him off for 7 years…”

“Just until we figure something out. Until we fix your car, then you can disappear and let the wind carry you away, straight to Atlanta.” Danny answered with a true and genuine frown. He didn’t want you to leave. 

“Okay. But I have a couple conditions.”

They both looked at you with puzzled expressions. “You clean your disgusting, repulsive bathroom, and you both wash your sheets. Please. For the love of god.”

Sweet, sexy laughs escaped them both as they conceded, relaxing back in their chairs. “Yeah, okay. Point taken.” Danny said, holding his hand out to shake yours. “It’s a deal, Miss Thing.”

“Good. Thank you. I’ll even make dinner tonight, for your troubles.” You offered, knowing there wasn’t much in the cabinets, but you were confident you could whip something up. 

Jake stood from his chair, still looking a little pekid from whatever he noticed about the calendar earlier. He held his hand out to shake yours, too. “One clean bathroom, coming up.”

You began searching through the cabinets and refrigerator, finding a few potatoes and some bologna. Hmm, when all else fails, fry it. 

You pulled some oil from the cabinet, and laid out six pieces of the almost-expired bread hidden away on the counter. This will have to do. 

You’d come into this shop two and a half days ago, feeling uneasy, anxious, and unsure…and now you sat here with two of your oldest classmates as they transformed their home and business into a fortress for you to stay in, using themselves as a protective shield from the bad guys who were vying for you. 

But it didn’t feel wrong staying with Danny…you liked him. You liked him a lot. And with Jake…you felt…drawn to him. Both of them. But there was something about Danny’s touch that made you crave him; him leaving you hanging in the motel room earlier was enough to make you so sexually frustrated that you resented him for a second. 

The image of him lying on top of you under the covers was all you could think about, and you were absolutely dying to get him back in bed. The way his long, dark locks laid across his shoulders and reached all the way down to past the middle of his back, his defined features and strong jawline…the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled… all of it was stuck in your brain, burning little images that replayed over and over. 

He felt different than Peter, that much you could tell even after just the brief encounter you’d had. Like he would let you be in charge instead of only trying to appease his every little fantasy. 

And his lips on yours? Like the buzzing end of an electric wire, you could physically feel them still when he parted from you. The way his tongue felt in your mouth, his hands gripping your hips… yeah. It was decided. You wouldn’t be joining Jake in his bed again tonight. 

—

JAKE POV

The smell was familiar. One you recognized deep down in your bones. A smell that transported you back in time. You pulled your sheets from the washing machine, the lid black and dirty which was kind of ironic. You tossed them into the dryer, starting it up as the smell lured you into the kitchen. You can’t remember the last time someone that wasn’t you made a meal in this kitchen. 

You wiped your bleach-scented hands across your pants, the smell of lemon bathroom cleaner and Comet stuck in your nose. You realized your hands were cleaner than they’d been in probably years, after scrubbing away at the black ring in the bathtub. You could actually see the whiteness of your fingernails. 

As you rested your hands on a kitchen chair, you peered over to the stove watching Y/N finish frying up a pan of diced potatoes. Your stomach growled and your mouth watered as you watched her, completely unknowing you were standing behind her. 

Danny steps out of the hallway and into the kitchen, his voice startling both of you. “Damn, it smells good in here. I’m starving.” He walks up behind Y/N, peeking over her shoulder as his hand squeezes her hip. He turns to grab a few paper plates, placing them on the counter for her before taking a seat in the old wooden chair. 

You swung around and sat yourself in your own chair, once again letting your eyes drift over to the calendar on the wall. Seven years today. Seven years, Ace. You lean on your fist, twirling the worn metal zippo between your fingers. Rubbing your thumb over the engravings, hand carved by the man himself. It was all you really had left of him, taking it from his pocket that day, giving it a home in yours ever since. Your heart sank the more you thought about it, which is why you didn’t ever let yourself. You always did everything in your power to forget this day, never give it the chance to crush you like this, but this year, lucky number seven… It got you. 

“Alright, it’s ready!” she said, spinning around with two paper plates filled with fried potatoes and fried bologna sandwiches. That was it. That was the smell. Fried bologna. Your dad’s fucking favorite. Of course, today of all days. 

“Shit this looks good, haven't had fried bologna in forever!” Danny says, grabbing the sandwich and taking a bite. She grabs her own plate and sits between the two of you, stabbing her fork into a potato as you just stare down at the plate in front of you. You’re stuck. Frozen. Your stomach telling you to eat but your mind suddenly rushing with memories you’d pushed down for years. It hurt. They hurt.

Not wanting to draw attention to yourself you picked up the sandwich, and held it to your mouth, slowly taking a bite as Y/N and Danny chatted about nothing. You wished you could turn off the instant replay in your mind of the last time you sat at this table eating with your dad. It hit you like a ton of bricks that now felt as if they settled in the pit of your stomach. 

The thing about Ace though, was that he never really told you how to live your life. He just let you live it watching him, and hoping you’d learn from his mistakes. What you didn’t expect, was that his mistakes would in turn become your own burden. You hated him for what he did. You hated that he left you to clean up his mess. You hated that you no longer had a family of your own. Just Daniel, and Daniel, you. That was okay though, the two of you had each other and that was better than nothing. You weren’t sure you’d ever forgive Ace, not for leaving you, but for letting your mother leave you before you ever even got a chance to know her. That was unforgivable.

You finished the last bite of your sandwich, completely spaced out as you stared off at the wall, just letting the memories ravage your consciousness, when suddenly it all just felt like too much. You started to feel suffocated by the thoughts, the room you were in suddenly feeling too hot, and too small. Your chest started to tighten and your throat felt small. You pushed your chair back and snatched your plate from the table, tossing it in the trash can as you offered a quick ‘thank you’ to Y/N. Your feet carried you out into the garage, as your hands found the light switch.  

The buzzing of the fluorescent lights calmed you a bit. Your eyes caught sight of Valor, and huff of air left your chest. A pristine 1968 Chevrolet Chevelle SS. Hardtop, Tuxedo Black with a standard 396 Horsepower engine, all hidden under a dusty beige colored canvas tarp.  

Just keep your mind busy. Do what you know. You walked over to the covered car, letting your hand hover over the cover, grabbing a fist full of the fabric and yanking it off with a scream. Your eyes took her in, she was pretty, you’d give her that, but hell, maybe you would be too if someone spent all their time fixing you up. Ace sure did. Throw the football? ‘No son, we have to get Valor running. Don’t you want to hear her purr?’ You can still hear his voice perfectly, as he says it. 

You slip your hand into the polished chrome handle, pulling the door open and sliding into the white vinyl bucket seat. It hugged you in just the right way, making the driver feel like they were part of the car. One with it. You grabbed the keys from the center console, sticking them into the ignition and twisting. The engine roared to life. He’d at least gotten that far, and he was right, she sure did sound pretty when she purred. But the problem is that she wouldn’t stay running. She’d run for a little while, and out of nowhere, she’d die. And that’s where he left her, sitting right here in the middle of this garage, covered and ashamed. You could barely look at it most days, leaving the cover on for months at a time until the feeling struck, and you needed to get your anger out. You’d completely tear apart the front end, combing through every single piece searching for something, anything that could be wrong, but every time you came up empty. 

Like clockwork, she died. The smell of the carpet and old vinyl filling your senses the way it always had. A suffocating blend of raw gasoline and rich exhaust, with overtones of hot Castrol. You lived for it, in fact it was all you ever really knew. It brought you to life most days, the process of working on cars satisfying your need to fix. To tinker. To solve. You ripped the keys from the ignition and slammed the door shut behind you. The black paint was so perfectly shiny you could see your own reflection. You tossed the keys into your pocket and let your legs carry you up the metal steps to your desk, opening the till, and fingering through the stacks of cash.

You instinctively grab for a twenty, knowing it’s more than enough to cover your usual selection but shit, tonight was a celebration right? You’re getting the good shit tonight. Just for you Ace. Just like you’d do, right? You snatch a fifty from the register, slamming it shut with a ding as your feet stomp down the metal stairs and back through the house. As you cross through the kitchen you grab your keys from the counter, with the fifty still in hand, receiving puzzled looks from Y/N and Daniel. 

You meet her eyes as you watch hers drift down to the cash in your hand, an instant look of confusion crossing her face. You crumpled it up in your hand as soon as you knew she saw it, stuffing the bill in your jeans pocket. 

You know what Daniel wants to say, but you know he’s not stupid enough to say it. Her though, she has no idea, and you know she’s not afraid to speak her mind. Your eyes meet hers again for the briefest second and you wonder if she can see the pain in your eyes before you look away and head for the front door. 

—

It’s not long until you’re pulling up at the QuikStop, pulling the barred door open as the bell chimes overhead. “Well then, what’ve we got here Jacob?” old man Johnson says, taking in your appearance. “Need you a top off tonight, son?” he snickers. You tip your chin in acknowledgement as you make your way to the back wall lined with a small assortment of different liquors. Your eyes scan over the offerings, stopping short when you catch sight of the good stuff. You grab the red waxed neck of the Maker’s Mark, and make your way to the counter to purchase your poison of the evening. You were typically a Seagram’s 7 man, but tonight you were pretty much feeling like a Maker’s man, considering your body was about to filled to the brim with it. fucking anything to stop the noise in your head.

“My my, this’s not ‘chur usual, son.” he grins, knowing you’re about to fork out a pretty penny. 

“Should get the job done, you think?” you remark, pulling the fifty from your jeans pocket.

“Mighty fine this one is. Quell yer troubles, it sure will.” he says, taking it from your fingers. He gives you back a few small bills and loose coins that you shove into your pants pocket, snatching the bottle from the counter before he even has a chance to place it in a paper bag. “You have yeh’s a good night Jacob.” he calls out as your foot steps out the door into the thick humid air. 

 —

HER POV

“Thank you for dinner.” You felt Danny’s breath on the back of your neck as you scrubbed the frying pan. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had a cooked meal in this place?”

His lips were trailing soft kisses down your neck onto your shoulder, making your neck crane sideways. “S’hardly a meal, Danny. Just thought you might’ve wanted somethin’ hot for a change.”

You turned to face him, scratching your nails up his pecs before wrapping your arms around his neck, hands still wet from the sink. “Mmm, I do want somethin’ hot.” His hands were under your thighs, fingertips burying in before lifting you up to sit on the countertop. He was just the right height to pull you forward a little, pressing himself directly against your core. Just that feeling alone made you weak, and hearing his harsh inhale from the contact spurred you on even more. 

You kissed him, hard, feeling that want from earlier come crashing back into you again. His hands stayed on your thighs, his finger span covering almost the entirety of your skin. You both allowed yourselves time to explore again, letting things heat up like they had before. His hand moved up to grip your hair, pulling it backwards as he trailed his mouth down your throat, nipping and biting tiny marks as he did so. 

Suddenly the temperature of the room increased tenfold and you felt your body begging you to do something, make another move. You maneuvered your hips to press yourself against him, his length feeling hard and stiff against you now. The guttural moan that escaped him sounded so carnal you could’ve taken him right then and there, but the risk of being caught was still heavy in your mind. 

“Wait… Jake could be back any minute…” you choked out, glancing to the metal door. 

“Guess we better fuckin' get to it, then.” He buried his face in your neck as he lifted you from the counter, carrying you through the kitchen and to his bedroom with ease. He kicked the door closed behind him as he drifted slowly to his bed, your mouths and hands still ripping at each other. 

His knee hit the mattress and he lowered you down with a bounce, immediately reaching for the hem of your shirt before pulling it over your head. Without disconnecting your mouths, your hands anxiously fumbled around at his zipper, unbuttoning his jeans. It was like all shyness had left your body as you felt no shame in letting your hand grip his shaft, your hands burning to know what he felt like without the barrier of his boxers. 

“Fuck Y/N…I want you so bad…” he almost laughed at himself, pushing your shoulder back into the pillows. 

“Mmm, I can tell.” You grinned as your hand moved up and down his length, growing harder by the second. He rolled over and pulled his jeans off before towering over you again, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra in one swift motion. Your hand found him again, and this time you noticed just how much you were about to be dealing with. You weren’t sure your ever had someone his size before, and it made you fuckin' excited. 

Your mouths were connected in such a way that you felt like you’d never separate; both of you completely taken with the way the other tasted. Your hands came up to grip his face, running your fingers over his cheeks. “Can you please take that fuckin' ring off your finger? If I’m gonna fuck you I don’t want to be thinkin’ about you and another man.”

Shit. You’d completely forgotten you even had it on. You hesitated a second, knowing that it didn’t mean shit to you anymore, but something told you not to throw it away. You slid it off and placed it on the nightstand, out of sight and definitely out of mind. 

“Thank you. Now…let me see your body again, baby…” he mumbled, sitting back on his knees to pull your jeans and panties off. “You’re fuckin' stacked, you know that?”

Your mouth contorted into a devious grin, having never heard a man talk about you like this before. Peter never praised you, never complimented you or your looks, only took what he could get then fell asleep. 

Danny made you feel beautiful, made you feel empowered…his eyes stayed bewitched as he scanned from your thighs to your tits, all the way to your face again before leaning his mouth down, licking directly over your mound and up your stomach. 

His hands gripped around your hips, his fingertips gripping your asscheeks while his thumbs reached all the way to your groin…his hands were massive. He tilted his hands so that you were forced to arch, inadvertently spreading your legs apart a little as he did so. Just that movement alone made you feel used and in charge at the same time; just the sight of your body was sending him over the edge with want for you, and you liked it. 

His eyes met yours again, rushed and frenzied as he silently asked permission. You nodded a little, halfway unsure of what he was asking. 

“You taste as good as you look, baby?” He began to lay his body flat on his stomach between your legs, his hands pressing your muscles in that special way again, to make the display all the more visual for him. “You’re fuckin' soaked, god I bet you’re so sweet…” he muttered, running his tongue up and down the insides of your legs. 

You held back a little. You were absolutely dying for him to bury his face in you, but again, this was something that Peter had only done once or twice for you, and that was only because you’d asked him to. Essentially, this was new territory. A brand new experience, really. Coming from someone who actually wanted to do it. 

His tongue was traveling around still, teasing…exploring. “Can I taste you?” He asked, his deep brown eyes flickering up to yours as you anxiously let a hand down to grip in his hair. You nodded quickly, a barely audible ‘yes’ slipping from your lips. “Please.”

When his tongue finally buried in between your folds, it was unlike anything you had ever experienced in your life…obviously Peter had been doing it all wrong. His tongue buried, his lips enclosed around you…hitting all the right spots with such precision you felt like you were in the clouds. The burning, fiery, thunder-storming clouds. Your hand gripped his hair tighter as he pushed inside you, lapping his tongue side to side and up and down and pulling out again, then working tiny circles around your clit. 

You realized you’d been holding your breath the second Danny popped up, laughing a little bit. “Breathe, baby.” You could feel the peach fuzz around his mouth scratching against you as he smiled through his words, but it felt good. An added bonus, the slightly painful irritation making it feel even better as he glided side to side. 

You listened to his instruction as you let yourself inhale, his low growl giggle vibrating through your body. “God damnit, Danny…what the…” your knees came up around his ears, your thighs squeezing him together as you neared that sweet feeling beginning to take over your entire body. His hands were still gripped tightly around your hips and ass, holding you steadily exactly where he wanted you. 

Fuck, you loved feeling out of control.

But then, suddenly, you wanted more. Needed more. He began to bring his hand around to add his fingers, lightly toying at your entrance with his fingertips. 

“No, no.” You commanded, stopping him in his tracks. 

“What’s wrong, you okay?” He perked up. 

You pulled him up by his hair, urging him to kiss you again. “Yes I’m fine. Didn’t want you to do that, yet. I wanna feel you. It ruins the surprise.” You muttered through exhausted pants, kissing away the wetness that covered his face. 

His eyebrows raised in surprise, an impressed look of intrigue flowing over him. “Oh, fuck…alright then.”

You pushed him off you to lie flat on his back, completely caught off guard by the switch. “Take them off.” You demanded, but also reaching for the hem of his boxers yourself, to speed up the process. 

Once they were in a pile beside you, you hopped to all fours and placed one hand on either side of his head as his hands drifted from your back to your hips again. He was fighting himself, bucking his hips up into you as he tried to make contact. 

“Let me do it. Wanna feel every inch.” You spoke again, letting him know you were on top, you were calling the shots. His facial expression was already fucked out, still shining with the wetness from your arousal…you could tell you had him right where you wanted him. You reached between you, gripping his considerable length in your hand again as he tossed his head back with a groan. Your eyes caught the way the ink danced across his neck as it pulled tight. The spider web that stretched across his throat was so intricate, you felt caught in the web yourself. He clenched his jaw together when he finally looked at you, reaching a hand up to grip your hair back away from falling in his face. 

“Wanna see your face, baby. Do it, please, fuck…” he was writhing beneath you, and you could already tell he was going to be the lay of a lifetime. You teased your own entrance with his tip, tracing your wetness all around. When you finally lined up, you prepared yourself to take him in, knowing it had been a while, and this was going to be a stretch. 

You went slowly, feeling every centimeter enter you, the pain so sweet and so engulfing. When you finally bottomed out, he choked out a huffed sound so beautiful you wished you had it on film, the feeling of him all the way inside you so snug, he felt like he belonged there. 

“Jesus Christ Y/N…my god…” he purred, his tongue sticking out to wet his lips as you sat back up, slowly beginning a pace that you knew was going to absolutely kill you. He was unlike anything you had ever felt before, the perfect size, attached to the perfect body…his eyes finally looked up at you long enough to share a moment. His abdomen crunched in on itself when you bottomed out again, the top of his head resting on your shoulder as his hands guided you up and down. 

You finally let yourself find a rhythm, leaning into him and flicking your hips back as you sped up. You let your cries fill the room; suddenly you couldn’t care less if Jake walked in on you right now. It was heavenly, perfect in every sense of the word, and your insides were swirling and begging you to never let yourself stop. 

“God, please don’t stop, Y/N…right there…” he purred again, gripping your hair back as you rode him into oblivion. You leaned back a little, resting one hand on his thigh behind you while the other one balanced on his sternum. Your fingers danced dangerously close to another tattoo, one you hadn’t seen before. A scattering of words in German sat delicately over his heart. You wanted to ask him what it said, but you were scared to know, based on the location.

You felt him deep inside, simply rolling your hips forward and back as you let him take a look at the show. You felt him hitting you deeper this way, eliciting a whine from you that you were borderline embarrassed about. His hand shot to your core, his thumb rubbing over your clit as he bucked up again. “So fuckin’ beautiful, Y/N…I swear…” 

His praises tightened the knot that was already building inside you, the sound of him coming apart beneath you was enough to get you off by itself. Just as you were about to let it all go, you leaned down over him again, your mouth burying in his neck, biting into him as your sounds became more and more strangled, the overwhelming feeling of pure pleasure ripping through your body. 

The buildup was insane, it felt like it lasted for hours. You guessed he could tell that you were close as he began thrusting up into you, too. “Yeah baby…go for it…let me have it…”

The white light that encompassed your entire being came flashing before your eyes, your teeth clenching into the skin of his pec as you came undone, shaking with what had to have been the most intense orgasm you had ever had. You wanted to say his name, scream it into the air, let him know how good he felt inside you, but you couldn’t form a coherent word even if you wanted to. Everything went numb and dull for a split second as you came down, panting and crying out choked sounds as you relaxed. You continued riding him, though…wanting to bring him to his delicious climax too. 

“I’m close baby please, please don’t stop…” he begged, and suddenly his stomach was clenching, his dick twitching deep inside you still as he pulled you up off of him, grabbing himself in his hand to let his release flow over his hand and onto your stomach. You watched as his hand worked over his length, his eyes fixed on you as he came down, and slowed his hand. 

His eyebrows shot together as his facial expression showed you how good it felt, how pretty you looked with his cum on you… it wasn’t something you had ever let a man do before, but you swore in that second that if he made you feel that way for the rest of forever, you’d let him do just about whatever he damn well pleased. 

When you finally caught your breath, you smiled at one another, laughing and completely out of breath. 

“Christ, you were even better than I imagined, baby…” he huffed, letting his hands fly to either side of his body, careful not to drop the mess that was in his right hand. You laughed as you plopped down beside him, grinning from ear to ear as you left the afterglow set in. 

“I’ve never had a man make me feel so good in my life, Danny. I swear.” You admitted. 

“Really? Even when you did that to them?” He perked up in disbelief. 

You nodded. “Yeah, really. There were a couple of firsts in there.”

His eyebrows raised up. “Fuck… Well, I’m telling you, I never would’ve guessed that, baby. You are spectacular. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting you like that.” He brought his face close to yours to lay a sweet, passionate kiss to your lips. 

You smiled sweetly back as he pulled away, looking back at you with the sweetest smirk as he made his way to the bathroom, and you suddenly found yourself completely unable to pull your lust filled eyes away from the perfect roundness of his ass. 

——

“This one okay?” You asked Danny, pulling an oversized t-shirt from his drawer. It was a dingy white and filled with holes and rips, but the fabric felt soft and comfortable. 

“Whatever you want, baby.” He smirked, laid out across his bed in nothing but his loose-fitting gray boxers, strumming away on a black acoustic guitar. His eyes had been transfixed on the wall across from you before you interrupted him…his fingers mindlessly crawling across the 6-string, plucking out a solemn little tune that wasn’t familiar. 

You crawled back up next to him on the bed, reaching across him to his nightstand to grab his box of smokes. “What are these, anyway?” You asked, opening the top flap. 

“…Not what the box says they are.” He let out a sweet laugh. “I roll my own. I blend together a few different types of tobacco to get the flavor I want.”

“Hm. That’s why yours always smell so much better than Jake’s, then?” You asked, pulling one out and running it underneath your nose. “They smell sweet…”

“Mmhm. Taste good too. Try it.” He let go of the neck of the guitar for a second, reaching to his table to grab his lighter. He flicked the ignitor and produced a flame for you, watching you intently as you brought the end of the cigarette to it, inhaling the sweet aroma into your lungs. Damn, he was right. 

“That’s really tasty…” you licked your lips together. “Even the paper is kinda sweet.” You hit it again before passing it back to him. 

“Yeah. Took me a while to get it just right. Came from stealin’ Ace’s half empty bags mostly.” He laughed at the memory. 

You tucked a pillow up under your arm as he began to play again, the cigarette hanging from his lips as the ash grew longer. His inked hands looked sinful dancing across the strings, and he was so natural at it. You caught a glimpse of the red and black triple’s 7’s tattooed on the inside of his pointer finger, and for some reason, you were sure you’d not seen it before. 

“Triple 7’s, huh?” You thought you had a pretty good idea of what it symbolized, but you wanted to see what his reasoning was. 

“Yeah, symbolizes good fortune and luck.” He pulled the smoke from his lips, tamping it out on the ashtray on the table. “Doesn’t really seem to be doin’ the job too well, does it?” He ended his sentence with a wink. “Not til’ you waltzed through the door at least.”

You began fingering with a loose string on his boxers. “I thought it meant the Holy Trinity...” 

“Means that too, I guess. But I stopped bein’ religious a long time ago.” 

The two of you were quiet a while, just the occasional sound of Jake banging around in the shop mixed with Danny’s tune to fill the air. 

“How long you been playin’?” You asked. 

His voice was getting groggy, sleep threatening him as the minutes ticked by. “Since I was 5 or 6 I guess, one of my foster families had one and I remember realizing it made a really pretty noise… I’d pick it up and run to my room and strum away on it to drown out the sound of them fighting. Seemed to help me not hear it. Then I started to actually like the way it felt in my hands…”

You were quiet for a second. “That why you play your music so loud now?”

His fingers stopped altogether as his eyes met yours. His face slowly contorted into a million different emotions at once before he looked back to the wall again, gently picking up where he left off. 

“Fuck, yeah…I guess it is…”

“Jake play guitar too?” You tried to change the subject once you realized you had maybe hit a little too close to home with your question. 

He shook his head. “No, he plays harmonica like the damned devil, though. Only does it every once in a while, but shit…he’s good at it. Every now and then we’ll get on a good drunk and play together to a big audience of ourselves.” He smiled sideways as he turned to look at you. 

“Maybe y'all can play for me sometime.” Your fingertips were sliding along the hem of his boxers. 

He sucked his bottom lip in through his teeth. “We’d love to play for you…” his eyes had started bouncing around each feature on your face, taking you in again as he moved himself closer. He pressed his lips into yours again, sweet and soft and mellow. “You know I’m gonna be thinking of you on top of me all the time now…gonna want it all the time…” he groaned through broken kisses. “Fuck… I don’t think you even know how gorgeous you looked…” 

You pressed your tongue between his lips again, the sudden new movements hitting the strings of the guitar causing them to make a crazy scratching noise. “I’ll ride you whenever the hell you want, Danny…” you breathed, huffing a breath into his mouth. And you meant it, too. 

Just as things started to get heated again, you heard Danny’s radio in the bay shoot up to 11. It was followed by a loud metallic bang, and the sound of a loud engine starting up. It startled you, and you sat up to look at the door. 

“Fuck.” Danny said shortly, rubbing his hands through his hair. 

“What was that? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, no. No, he’s not. But, we’ve just gotta—” he sputtered. You slid yourself across the bed, moving toward the door as you heard another loud thud echo through the bay. 

“What is he doing?!” you urge.

“He’s drunk. He’s trying to fix Valor.” He explained, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Valor? The fuck is Valor?” you ask. 

“The fuckin' car his dad left em.” he answers. “Only touches it when he's wasted.”

“How do you know, does he do this often?” You stood at the foot of Danny’s bed, throwing your hip out as you crossed your arms. Suddenly you heard Jake’s loud voice yelling along to the first verse of ‘Turn the Page’ by Bob Seger. “My god, is he singing?!”

Danny sat up and crawled to sit on the edge of the bed. “Y/N, listen. Every so often, Jake will go on a bender, and when he does it, he does it right. It was Ace’s dying wish for Jake to fix that car, and the only way he can bring himself to touch it, is if he’s out of his mind intoxicated. So, we just gotta let him do it. He’ll be fine, just gotta get it out of his system.” 

Wait. “So he has to be fucked up before he can even pop the hood?” This wasn’t making sense. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, he’ll be fine, this is just how he works through it.”

“Danny, that is an extremely unhealthy way for him to be dealin’ with this…” you said quietly. He shrugged his shoulders and huffed out a breath, his expressions saying nothing more than it is what it is. 

Another bang and more loud sing-shouting bellowed off the walls again, and you decided you’d had it. You yanked the door open, and made your way out into the shop, seeing Jake looking a complete and total mess as he dipped his head low inside the belly of Valor. A cigarette rested between his lips as both of his hands disappeared deep down in the engine. 

“Ain’t it unsafe to have an open flame that close to motor oil?!” You yelled, grabbing his attention. He perked up, his eyes a deep dark black that you hadn’t seen before. There was a scowl on his face and his nostrils flared when he looked at you, absolutely absorbed in the hatred and madness he must be currently full of. “Why are you out here makin’ all this racket?” You yelled over the music. 

He pulled the cigarette from his mouth, throwing it to the floor and stomping it out as the smoke drifted from his lips. “None of your fuckin' business.” You watched as his eyes glanced toward Danny’s room. “Get back in there and let your boyfriend serenade you to sleep.” He slurred, pulling a socket wrench from his kit. 

“Agh!” You had a knee-jerk reaction to his words. “He’s not my boyfriend…” you crossed your arms across your chest. Who the fuck does he think he is?

Jake raised his hands into the air. “Whatever! Don’t care!” He shoo’d you away with a flick of his wrist, and buried his face back into the engine, screaming the words loudly again. “Here I gooooo, on the road again!”

You decided that seeing him like this, for the reason he was like this, wasn’t going to fly if you had anything to do with it. You stomped over to the other side of the hood, standing until he felt you watching. 

“God damnit!” He yelled, dropping the tool to the floor beneath the car. When he stood back up he met your eyes again. He reached down beside his foot, pulling up a large glass bottle of liquor, taking it straight to the head. 

A handle of Maker’s. He had gone to the liquor store earlier…but where did he get the cash for something like that…? 

Oh, fuck. The fifty you saw him shove in his pocket. With the red X over Grant. 

“You used my goddamn money to buy that, didn’t you?” You spat as he swallowed, wiping the excess drips from his chin with the back of his dirty hand. “The fifty you had earlier, you took it and spent it on this?!” You were enraged. He was supposed to be using that to buy your parts. 

“Again, it’s none of your fuckin' business, Y/N!” He was spitting and slurring his words, his face red with anger and drunkenness.

“No, it is my business! That’s my money you’re drinking away right now! That’s so fucked, Jake!” You were yelling at him now. “What do you think, I’m just gonna slide you an extra fifty for your trouble?!”

He snarled his nose up, taking another swig. “Screw you, Y/N. Get the fuck out of my face.”

You stepped toward him now, your entire body raging with madness that you just couldn’t qualm. “Why don’t you yell at me, Jake. Huh? Yell at me. Take it out on me, instead of the void. You want something to be mad at? Try me…” you hit yourself in the chest a couple times, trying to get him to have the reaction you were hoping for, probably looking mighty intimidating standing there barefoot in nothing but Danny’s t-shirt. 

He stepped back away from you. “What? Why…”

“Jake, almost half of the bottle is gone. Did you go somewhere and drink before you came back? Why are you—“

“Y/N, nobody fuckin' asked for the twenty questions. Can you go the fuck back to Daniel and let me do this?! Please.” He ignored you again, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he had tears welling in his eyes. There was a long pause in the conversation. He just needed to talk…

“What if I don’t want to?” You said, your voice as meek as possible over the volume of the radio. 

That confused him. “What if I want to stay here and help you?”

“You can’t help me, Y/N.” His face fell as he slammed a wrench back into the top drawer of the kit. “Nobody can.”

“Can you let me try?” You pleaded. 

He looked directly at you, and you watched as his face softened a bit. He shrugged his shoulders and let them fall again before taking another big swig of the liquor. You leaned in, yanking the bottle from his hand, tilting it back and taking a long shot, yourself. You winced as the hot liquor went down your throat before leaning your elbows down on the panel of the car, looking down inside it at what he was working on. Thankfully a slower, quieter song had come across the radio. 

“Now, what are we dealing with, here?” You asked, hoping he’d catch the double entendre. “Tell me all about it…”

He replaced his dirty hands back down into the front end, twisting something loose as he cleared his scratchy throat. 

“It’s been seven years. Seven years today.” He said quietly as his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

“Seven years since…?”

“Since my dad…died.” He was biting his cheeks in over and over. 

“What happened, Jake?” You leaned in a little closer, brushing some dust off the top of the engine. 

Jake leaned back, reached into his pocket and pulled out a few sheets of folded up notebook paper, dirty and torn from being in the hands and pocket of a mechanic. You took it gently from his hand, and slowly opened it. 

‘April 22, 1975’. You read to yourself before scanning the rest of the hand-written note. You felt your heart sink as the words clicked in your mind. 

“Jake, is this?”

“My dad’s suicide note. Yeah. Wrote it seven years ago today.” He replied, turning a socket wrench over and over as he avoided eye contact with you. “Left it for me on my nightstand while I was asleep.”

Your heart began pounding in your chest. Fuck. You hadn’t realized that was how he passed. You swallowed hard before even trying to speak again. “So you…you found him?” 

Jake brought the bottle to his lips again, swallowing it down before passing it to you. You tilted it up, and did the same. He nodded, barely any movement in his body now. “Yeah.” His eyes were blank as they stared at the block in front of him. 

You took a chopped breath. Maybe…maybe he just needs to get it out…hell. You were no psychologist.

Finally you spoke barely above a whisper. “Where was he?”

Jake was biting the sides of his cheeks in hard, his gaunt face pulled into itself as the dark circles shadowed even more in the dim light. His eyes looked dead into yours, deep and blank, before flicking up to the ceiling behind you, then back to yours. 

You turned around slowly following his line of vision, seeing the high exposed rafter in the lofted ceiling. 

Fucking hell. 

You turned back, your eyes closed as your hands found your face, tears fighting to spring out as the image of the rafter sat burned in your brain. Jesus. 

“Jake, I-I’m so…I didn’t mean for you to have to think about that again, that must have been…” you could hardly find the words to apologize, to empathize with him, with what he must have gone through that day, finding his dad like that. Gone through every day since. There were no words. There never would be any words. “I’m so sorry, Jake. Truly.”

“S’okay. In the past, now. What’s done is done.” He shrugged, nipping the bottle again. 

“But you were just a kid, Jake…”

“Yeah, I was. Not a damn clue in the world. Had to do the growin’ up a man does in twenty years that very day.” You watched as a tiny tear escaped the outside corner of his eye, and he quickly wiped it away. “Left me with absolutely fuckin' nothin except a couple thousand dollars, that note, this fuckin' shit hole building, and every bad debt he ever had. But I had Danny with me. And Bubba. Danny was only…only fourteen.”

You felt your heart physically breaking into a million pieces for him, for both of them, thinking back to them being young teenagers and having to deal with that basically on their own…

“I’m glad you had them with you.” You agreed. 

He nodded, his eyes turning red. “Don’t know what I would’ve done if Danny wasn’t here. Hell, his voice had barely even changed and he was helping me plan our dad’s funeral after he got home from school. But you know, he never even faltered. Kid took care of me better than I took care of myself those few weeks after. Forced me to eat, kept my mind busy…” you watched as he replayed the memories, probably running through them all in his head like watching them on an old projector screen. 

“He basically kept the shop running while I stayed away from the world in my bedroom. I don’t even…” he shook his head as he collected himself. “People brought us food, Bubba was here every single day making sure we were okay…but Danny did it all. I don’t even know how he did it, he was a baby. Fuckin' workhorse…always has been.”

He took a second to rub his dirty hands over his tired eyes. “I don’t…we don’t have anybody, Y/N. No family at all.”

You reached out and cupped your hand over his, squeezing it hard as you let him talk. “Danny’s your brother.” 

“In everything but blood.” He licked his lips, turning his hand over to hold yours back. You smiled, letting him know you were still here to listen, if he wanted to continue…even if it was just the whiskey giving him confidence. 

“So you basically raised Danny, after that…” you relented. 

He shrugged his shoulders in agreement. “Yeah, I guess, kinda. I dropped out of school right before graduation, but. Made sure he made it through senior year and all that. Honestly he raised me more than I did him, if I think about it.” He smirked a little. “We learned it all together.”

His eyes completely closed and he leaned his entire body weight down on his elbows. “Teddy…Teddy was uh, in love with my mom…before I was born.” His eyebrows raised and he laid more information out on the table for you. 

“What?!” 

He swigged the bottle again. “Yup. S’why he hated my dad so much. They were both vying for her at the same time…guess Ace swept her off her feet somehow.”

“Is that why he hates you so badly?” You were starting to put the pieces together. “He sees your mom in you?”

He nodded again. “Exactly. He’s still punishing me for what my dad did to him. Or my mom, whatever. I never asked for details. That’s why he’s still after me for my dad’s money. Still heartbroken and fucked up over somethin’ that went down before I was even born. The son of a bitch.”

“That’s not fuckin' fair, Jake.”

“Preachin’ to the choir, babe.” He clicked his tongue and sent you a wink.

He squeezed your hand a few times before releasing it, and walked over to plop himself down in one of the dirty lawn chairs against the wall of the shop. You followed suit, sitting beside him in the other chair as you curled your legs up and pulled Danny’s shirt over your knees. 

“Tell me about Ace. Was he a funny guy?” You asked, trying to get him through his anguish. He grinned a little, hastily wiping his eyes again. 

“Yeah, when he wanted to be. He was always full of dumb jokes and one-liners. But he stayed quiet most of the time, buried himself in his work. Till things went south with my mom, they got into drugs for a little bit. Nothing too serious but enough to count. My dad stepped away from it but mom didn’t. Then she just…disappeared. Before I was even out of diapers. Haven’t heard from her since.”

“What’s her name?”

“Stella.”

He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to sit out here and talk to me, ya know. I’m a fuckin' drunk mess. And I ain’t real sorry about it.”

You smirked. “Hey, just keepin’ you company.” You tilted the bottle back again, almost choking on it when it hit you. “Oh my god, Jake…the other day you said Ace died the day before your eighteenth birthday, that means…tomorrow is your birthday…?”

He nodded. “Yep. The big 2-6, I guess.”

Fuck. Now you understand why. His rage makes sense…

“Well that means we gotta have you a party!” You squealed, standing from the chair. 

“No no no, it’s just another day. I don’t need no party.” You grabbed his filthy hands, standing to your feet and bringing him with you. 

“Birthdays are the most important day of the year, silly!” You started dancing around to ’Cinnamon Girl’ as it blared from Danny’s speaker high on the shelf, holding Jake’s hands as you spun yourself around. “I saw your Neil Young poster on the wall, I know you love him. Come on, dance with me, birthday boy!” You couldn’t help but to try and act and candidly as you could, anything to try and make him feel just a little bit better on the anniversary of the worst day of his life. Even if it was just making him smile for a second. 

“You see us together, chasing the moonlight, my cinnamon girlllllll.” You sang out loud. 

Which you did, kind of. He grinned a bit and rolled his eyes at you, his sticky hands gripping just the very ends of your fingertips. You didn’t know if Danny knew what you were doing out here, but you didn’t really care if he did. It was his best friend’s birthday, for Christ sake. And no one even cared. 

Jake was stumbling around, his eyes heavily hooded and red. You realized maybe the alcohol had hit him when you stood him up so fast. He stepped his feet around a little bit, hardly much of a dance at all while you swung his arms around. It did manage to bring a little bit of a smile to his face, though. 

“I do love Neil Young, you’re right. And I’m impressed you know this song.” He chuckled. “Hmm, I’m fuckin' drunk though, too. Sleepy.” He said as you dropped his hands back to his sides. “Think I’m gonna go crash out.” He looked at you through one eye, and you realized how drunk he really was. 

“Shit, are you gonna be sick?” You asked. 

“No no, just sleep. Wan’ ma bed.” He mumbled, walking over to the shop sink to wash his dirty hands. 

“Okay, let me walk you.” You offered as he finished, walking backwards as you pulled him along toward his bedroom. 

When you got inside you flicked the light on, watching as Jake kicked his coveralls, jeans, and boots off as he waddled through the room. My god, his thigh tattoo, you hadn’t seen it up close, fuck…it was a dragon. Big and black and blue with fire coming from its mouth leading directly to…

He threw himself onto the mattress, his pile of freshly-washed sheets still laying a mess on top. 

“Mmm, they smell so good I just wanna…” he curled his arms and legs up in them, wrapping up like a cocoon as he buried himself in them. 

You laughed. “Is this what having clean sheets does to a man?!”

“They’re still kinda warm from the dryer, Y/N! Come feel, come here…” he reached his hand out, pulling you down into the bed with him. You bounced a couple times from the force, but you landed directly in his arms, face to face as you ended up tangled in the sheets with him. 

“See? Still warm, aren’t they?!” He was like a giddy school kid, but what he didn’t notice was how close your faces were. You could smell the heavy liquor emanating through his pores, on his breath, and swirling through the air, but his hand that pulled you down never let go. It gripped hard on yours as you laid beside him, both of you staring at each other, feeling each other’s chests rise and fall as your heart rate skyrocketed. 

Suddenly you felt the light touch of his other hand barely grazing across your back. “Are you still scared of me?” He asked, his voice hollow and needy. 

You thought a second, realizing that if you were truly scared of him, you wouldn’t have faced the monster he was, head-on earlier. By yourself in your panties, at that. 

“No.” You said simply, and that was the truth.

The corners of his lips tilted up just slightly as he whispered. “Good.”

You got ahold of yourself, turning your face away as you fought the demons that began circling in your mind, being this close to him. 

“I know what I want for my birthday.” He slurred, rolling his head into his pillow. 

“What’s that?”

“You ta’ read me more Maya poems.” His eyes were already closing as his words barely slipped out. You knew it wouldn’t be long. You were getting tired, yourself. You reached to his nightstand where your book still sat, opening to a passage of one of your favorites. 

You began reading out loud, just louder than a whisper, watching as his eyes drifted closed, his pink lips mouthing the words right along with you. 

And without even knowing it you fell asleep there, curled up in his pile of sheets, one hand on your book, and the other wrapped up in Jake’s. 

—

JAKE POV

Even through your drunken slumber you could hear the pounding on the door. Your eyes blinked open, trying to register if it was really happening or if you were dreaming. Surely you had to be as you looked over and saw Y/N asleep next to you. She was here, in your bed, with you. Your hand rested on the skin of her stomach and you could hardly tear your eyes away from her as you took in the way she felt beneath your hand. You wanted to pull her close, smell her hair, let your fingers glide over her skin, but instead you heard the knocking on the front door continue. She began to stir from the noise, rolling to face you as you realized you needed to get up. 

You pulled the blankets off of your body, your eyes searching furiously for where your gun ended up, finally catching sight of it on the dresser. You grabbed it, and bolted through your bedroom door to find out who the fuck was knocking on your door at four in the morning. You cocked your gun, and held it behind your back as you unlocked the front door, pulling it open slightly to see who it was. Bubba? The fuck?

You pulled the door open more, “What’s wrong?” you asked in a panic. This was unlike him. He never showed up like this unless something was wrong. Your eyes glanced behind him, scanning for anything out of the ordinary. 

“You got that girl here, son?” he asks, raising a brow. 

You furrow your brows and shift your weight into your hip, “Yeah, she’s here.”

“Good. Keep ‘er here. Don’t let ‘er outta your sight. Ain’t safe for ‘er.” he warns, quietly. 

“Joey was sniffin’ around up here earlier today, askin’ questions and shit. Asked where she was, so we went and got her from the motel. She’s not goin’ back. I knew he was up to some shit.” you answer, setting your gun down on the table by the door. 

“I don’t know what exactly is goin’ down over at Teddy’s but, might be best for her to just lay low here for a while. You boys don’t let them snatch that girl, whatever you do, you hear?” he says, crossing his arms. “That’s not why I’m here though.” 

“Alright, why are you here…” you ask, wondering what couldn’t wait until the morning. 

“Got a meeting set up for you two, ‘round 3 o’clock tomorrow. Down at the old sawmill.” he answers with a gleam in his eye.

“A meeting? The fuck kind of meeting Bubba?” you ask defensively. “Three’s in the middle of the work day, I don–”

“Yer gonna wanna take this meeting, son, promise yeh.” he nods. “Just trust me. You and Daniel better go. Don’t make me look bad, boy.”

“What should we expect?” You asked. 

Bubba stepped forward, placing his hand directly on your shoulder. “Just trust me.”

“Shit, alright.” you say, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Thanks.”

“Get you some rest.” he says, tipping his chin and heading back to his car. 

The hell…

You shut the door and lock it behind you, grabbing your gun from the table, and heading towards Daniel’s room. You rap your knuckles against the door, before twisting the handle, but as you push the door, he pulls it open. “Who the fuck was that?” he asks, a slight panic in his voice.

“Bubba.”

“The fuck does he want at four in the morning?” he questions, resting his hands on the door frame. 

“He set up a meeting for us tomorrow out behind the old Willits Sawmill. No fuckin' idea what for, but said we need to be there. 3 o’clock.” you answer. 

“A meeting?”

“S’what he said. I don’t fuckin' know…” you quip.

“Whatever, we can deal with it in the morning. Where’s Y/N?” he asks, looking down the hallway. 

You run your tongue over your teeth as you huff out an answer, “My bed.”

He raises his eyebrows, “In your bed…” he pauses, hardening his jaw, “Why’s that…”

You shake your head, and look past him for a second, before letting your eyes meet his, “Why don’t you let her tell you in the morning. Get some sleep, sounds like we’ve got a long day tomorrow.” you say, clapping your hand against his back with a smug grin. 

He narrows his eyes at you, and shuts his door as you step across the hallway to your room. As you open the door you see her sitting on the edge of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest as she picks the skin on her thumb. “What’s going on? What’s happening?” she asks nervously.

You step into the room, shutting the door behind you before placing your gun on your nightstand. She just stares at you waiting for you to answer as you let out a deep sigh. You motion for her to get back into the bed, watching as she scoots back over to the other side, letting you slide back in where you were. You pull the clean smelling blankets back up around your shoulders before grabbing her waist and pulling her close to you. You settle your head on your pillow, finally able to breathe in the scent of her hair as the words fall out of your lips in a quiet whisper, “Nothing you need to worry about tonight…”

Her body relaxes beneath your arm, and you let your eyes close, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. Maybe birthdays weren’t so bad after all.  

—

DANNY POV

You rolled the creeper from beneath the old GMC as you heard the garage door shut and two pairs of feet shuffling across the bay. “Well, here we are again…Like deja vu.” you quip, cutting your eyes to Y/N, as she approaches. 

You pull yourself up to meet her as Jake opens his tool kit across the bay. You let your eyes linger on him for a minute before flicking them back to Y/N.  “Thought you’d be back last night…”

She drops her shoulders and lets out a defeated sigh, “I know. I know, I was trying, I swear, but…” she pauses, looking over her shoulder at Jake, who was now in his own little world beneath the hood of the Chevy. “I went out to talk to him last night, right? Well he kinda…opened up to me a little bit, told me about his dad… about his mom…” she says, a slight lilt in her voice. “He was so drunk Danny, he even cried a little bit.” she said, almost a whisper. 

“I know. I peeked out and saw the two of you talking. Talking more than he’s talked in years. Figured I'd let him get it out. Think he needed it.” you answer truthfully.

“You saw?” she asks, and you nod your head in response. 

“Anyways, I just wanted to make sure he made it to his bed, that’s all. Asked me to just stay and talk a little more and I fell asleep. I had no idea it was the anniversary of his dad’s death. No wonder he was so messed up. Oh– and it’s his birthday today. Did you know that?” she asks. 

Oh shit, you forgot. “Oh, um, yeah I guess you’re right it is. Usually we don’t do anything. Kinda just another day around here.”

“Just another day?” she asks, face painted with shock. “Danny that’s so…That’s so sad. I wish there was something I could do…” she says with sad eyes. 

Your eyes flicked over to Jake and you caught him, seeing him flick his head up in acknowledgement, a small smile on his face. You look back at her, resting your hand on her small shoulder, “Baby, I think you did...” both of you turning to see him gently singing along with the music playing through the speakers. 

—

“So this meeting…” you start, leaning on the frame of the Chevy. Jake turns to you, setting down his tools. “Yeah, at three.”

“I was thinking, we can’t leave her here, right? Like, what if this is just a set up to get her alone?” you ask, picking the dirt from under your nails.

“Yeah I considered that. Think we’ll have to bring her with just to be safe. She can wait in the truck.” he says, pushing off the frame of the car. You follow him through the bay as he rifles through his kit in search of another tool. 

“I can take the bike, you two take the truck. Do we even know what this meeting is about?” you ask. 

“Nah, Bubba didn’t say, but I trust ‘em. S’only got our best interest, ya know.” he replies, snatching the tool from the box and walking back over to the truck. 

“I think we need to be prepared for any scenario…” you say with the raise of your eyebrows. 

“Well fuckin' obviously. No clue what we’re gonna tell Y/N though.”

“Shit, hopefully this isn’t some stupid fuckin' setup. What we got like an hour?” you ask. 

“Yeah. About. Think we should clean up, or…” he asks, turning to you.

“I mean, we could, but s’not really us, huh?” you laugh, placing your hand on his shoulder, “Hey, happy birthday brother.”

He tightens his lips and nods his head as he looks to the floor, “Ahh, thanks man. Twenty-six. Seems old.” he laughs. 

“Nah, not really, we still got a lot of livin’ left to do.” you smile, watching as he nods his head and his eyes flick over to Y/N who is lounging in a folding chair out front. 

“She was worried ‘bout you last night.” you press, hoping to hear his thoughts. 

“Yeah, came out here guns a-blazin’ and didn’t falter for a second. Talked for a bit, drank too fuckin’ much. Woke up and she was in my bed.” he says, and you feel a little relieved.

You smirk and raise an eyebrow, “She’s a sweet lil thing.”

He scoffs a laugh at you. “Guess you got to find that out for sure when I left last night, huh? Had yourselves a good ol’ time in my absence…saw your shirt must’ve been the closest thing she could grab when I got home.”

You bit your lips in, nodding as you went. “She’s fuckin’ phenomenal, man. Like, I didn’t expect that…” 

He laughed again, blushing a little. “No, she seems like a good girl. Feel like shit for all the hell we’re puttin’ her through.” he admits, wiping his hand on the rag in his back pocket. 

“You order those parts?” you ask, genuinely curious. 

“Yeah, should be here in a week or two.” he nods, leaning on the frame of the truck. 

“Make any headway with Val?” you wonder, seeing it still sitting uncovered. He shakes his head, “Nah, the old bitch still givin’ me a run for my money.”

“One of these days we’ll crack ‘er.” you say, giving him one last pat on the shoulder before returning to your side of the garage. 

—

You stand in the doorway of the truck, watching her buckle her seatbelt as Jake slides into the driver’s seat. “Listen, we aren’t really sure what’s about to go down, but just stay in the truck, lay low, and if shit goes south, get on the floorboard. Alright?” you ask, letting your thumb swipe over her cheek. She nods her head and you tip your chin, turning to head towards your bike. 

The door shuts behind you and Jake pulls out of the driveway in a cloud of dust. You quickly jump on your bike, starting it with a roar, before following closely behind them. Your heart is pounding a little extra hard as you make your way to the old abandoned sawmill, completely unsure of what or who will be waiting there for you.

His truck slows as he pulls into the cracked and pot hot riddled lot, seeing a single car parked at the far end. It’s not a car you recognize from around here and that puts you on high alert. The hair on the back of your neck stands tall as Jake parks the truck, letting you pull up next to him. 

Y/N slinks down in the seat, trying her best to stay out of sight, as Jake steps out of his truck, slamming his door shut. You lean your bike on the kickstand and walk towards him, both of you sending each other a concerned look. “Recognize it?” you murmur under your breath. 

“Nah.” he says, reaching back into his belt to cock his gun. You do the same, hoping it won’t come to that, but around here it wouldn’t be unheard of. 

The two of you walk through the crunching pavement over towards the dark green GMC Sprint, seeing a man resting against the driver’s door. He hears you approaching and pushes off the car turning to face you. The sun is in your eyes as you catch sight of his face, distorting his features until you get a little closer. You notice the car is still running, despite him not occupying it, and that too, makes you uneasy.

“Was at the poker game.” you whisper. 

“Sure was.” Jake replies, stepping up to the man. 

“Hello fellas.” the man says with a smirk. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yep, what uh– what can we do for ya?” Jake asks, with his hands on his hips. 

“Well boys, to be frank with you, I’d like to make a proposition to you.”

“You were at the game the other night. Haven’t seen you ‘round here before.” You say, crossing your arms against your chest. 

“You’re right, I was. Names Oscar, but you can call me Oz.” he says, extending his hand to shake. You stare at it for a minute in contemplation before reaching towards him and shaking his hand. Jake follows, introducing himself. 

“Oh I know who you boys are. Heard all about yehs.” he smiles.

“Heard about what?” you ask, narrowing your eyes. 

“Heard you two were some fighters.” he says, tipping his head. 

“Fighters?” Jake asks, shaking his head. 

“S’what word on the street is. Figured I’d stop in to see for myself. Talked to some folks ‘round town, told me ‘bout your little poker games, and wouldn’t you know I got what I asked for. Saw the two of yeh’s on the side of the house.” he says, tightening his lips. 

“So what, doesn’t mean we’re fighters or whatever the fuck.” Jake quips, standing firm. 

“No son, I think that’s exactly what you are.” he retorts. “That’s why I asked your friend Bubba to arrange this little meetin’. Thought this could be beneficial for both of us.” 

“You gonna get to the point?” you ask, trying to hurry things along. 

He laughs a little under his breath, “I want you two come fight for me. You win, you get a portion of the winnins’.” he says, placing his hand in his pocket. He pulls out a stack of cash, easily five-hundred bucks. “Pay off that debt of yers real quick like.”

“Fight for you? The fuck does that mean?” Jake asks, staring at the money in his hand. 

“You ever heard of Vale Tudo?” he asks, both of you shaking your heads, a little unsure of this man's motives. 

“Alright, how ‘bout… No Holds Barred fightin’?”

“Yeah.” you answer quickly, earning you a nod from him. Of course you’d heard of it, you were practically raised on it.

“Well, somethin’ like that. Real private, underground type of settin’. Think up in those there bigger cities the folks call it ‘MMA’. Got people buyin’ in, bettin’ on these fights. We ain’t talkin’ no small buy in’s neither. This is big cash. Life changin’ money.” he says, raising a brow. 

“Been lookin’ for myself a few boys to travel ‘round.” he pauses. “I think you two got the grit, and the need.”

“The need…” Jake presses.

“I know that Teddy character, he ain’t never gonna let you get ahead. But son, this is yer chance.” 

“So, you want me and Jake to come…fight, and if we win said fights we get paid?” you ask, genuinely trying to piece this together. 

“Exactly. We can work out the details, but roughly, you travel ‘round to these hosted fights, you fight favorably, we both walk home with our pockets lined.” he says. 

“And how do we know, you’re trustworthy?” Jake asks. “I’ve got a life and a livin’ to make here. Bills lined up till kingdom come and they don’t pay themselves.”

“It’d be a fight here and there, every week or two with a rest period to recover yer health and bodies. Yeh’d have time at yer shop, so it’d be unsuspectin’. That’s the point son. Don’t want the heat findin’ out ‘bout it.” he says, and you start to feel uneasy. 

“Seems…I don’t know. Why us? There’s gotta be people better suited than us…” you barter.

“Well truthfully Daniel, I’ve had my eye on you since you was ‘bout 17. Heard ‘bout the fightin’ from some folks, kept an eye on yeh. And Jacob, I know you learned from ‘em. Watched yeh myself just the other night. Ye’ve got somethin’, and I’m willin’ to take a chance on you boys if you’re willin’ to take a chance on me. If it doesn’t work out, well, hell we tried, still let you two walk away with a few hundred each for yer troubles.”

You see Jake’s brow furrow, and you know he’s considering it. You know this debt is crippling the shop, the two of you barely scraping by every week. You know this could be your chance. The only other thing you’ve ever been good at. “We gotta decide right now?” you ask, sending him a questioning look. 

“No’sir. I’ll be in town ‘nother few days, got some outstanding business. First fight ain't for another week ‘er so over in Kirksville.” he says, reaching into his pocket again, pulling out a paper business card. Jake takes it from his fingers, reading over it before handing it to you. 

“Now, you fellas think this over, give me a call once you’ve come to a decision.” he says, tipping his head. “Oh, and, for what it’s worth…” he pauses, “These buy in’s… is in the thousands range. My last fighter took home 4 grand in one night, for 5 minutes effort. Just somethin’ to consider.” and with that he slides into his idling car.

As the car pulls off in a cloud of exhaust Jake turns to you, his jaw slack and his face riddled with shock and question. “What the fuck…What was that? Wh–What do we do?”

You turn to look at him, shoving your hands in your pockets, and sucking your teeth, “Sounds like we fight.”

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[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the solar plexus chakra

the numbers we are focusing on today are based on the yellow bubbled number in the center of the web - we multiple it by two to equal your emotional number - ex: as you see above and in previous charts, my energetic/physical (because for this chakra they will always be the same) number is 6. so to get the emotional number i have to multiple by two: 6 * 2 → 12. 12 is my emotional number for the solar plexus number.

but what does this number mean?

the chakra set we are examining is the solar plexus (manipura); it governs the navel to ribs, abdominal organs, digestive system, and nervous system. it indicates personality, leadership qualities, how to achieve goals, social status, success, ability to get things done, ego, and willpower.

so let's talk about some examples:

6 - the lovers

physically 6s are very much like their ancestors/parents. they tend to look just like someone from their family. biblically, eve was made from the rib of adam. that is much like this. the two biblically figures are depicted in the the card's image and the chakra represents the ribs to i felt it was ironic. they tend to have a nervous tummy - their anxieties can live in their stomach and reap havoc on their digestive system. a common health concern for this placement tends to be diabetes.

energetically 6s are very even keel. they are the balancing energy in any connection. they keep things evened out in all their connections - they don't seek out leadership they seek equality. they can be very chameleon like in a connection to the point where no one knows the true them. they can play the long game in any situation if they have positive energy where this chakra is concerned because they wouldn't be seeking instant gratification. these people are often well liked in a community - they are likely to be rather successful as well.

6s emotionally are can struggle with codependency if they don't know how to be respectful and communicate effectively with those around them. often they can let their emotions effect how the world sees them - they can get mood descriptors from those around them instead of physical, accomplishment based, or other descriptors. their personality can be mood governed. some times their ego can get in the way too as they can have an overblown senses of self or low self-esteem.

12 - the hanged man

12s physically are very lean and tend to appear taller than they actually are (it is all a matter of perception). it could seem like their chest is very full in the rib cage area because they tend to breathe via the lungs instead of through the diaphragm. they could have very taunt and toned midsections as well. they show be careful about how they physically position themselves this lifetime because the might be putting unnecessary stress on their abdominal organs without knowing that they are.

energetically 12s aren't the people that give off leadership energy instead they seem to be examples for what not to do for those around them. it tends to look like these people are struggling in life and as though they are annoyed about their circumstances. they best achieve their goals when they slow down and take stock of everything that is happening around them. life is not as bad as they assume it to be. they are unlikely to be seen as anyone famous or popular in this lifetime - if they do make a name for themselves, it tends to be one of martyrdom.

emotionally 12s are easily annoyed by life. it is a rare day when they seem peaceful; their peace can seem like a very celestial or other worldly thing if it is to occur. it could seem like a dream or what have you. they do have a unique ability to pretend and fake their emotions in a very convincing way that has everyone believing they are being honest and real. their ego tend to be be one in which they are have a lot of "woe is me" energy and as if they are always the victim in a situation.

22 - the fool

22s physically are very trim they have a toned abandon usually because of the exercise they do. they appear very healthy though they often have unknown issues internally that cause them many issue down the road. it doesn't tend to show signs - one day they are fine and then the next they are not. they aren't very nervous people - some may say it would be better if they did have a sense of self preservation.

energetically 22s tend to be free spirits - they don't have a leadership bone in their body. they don't mind being pioneers but they don't seek followers and power like many people do because they prefer freedom and not to be held back from exploring the realm. they can best achieve goals they have by having faith in the universe and themselves. they need to trust they they have the support for the universe that they need. they often wander upon opportunities they would have over looked had they not trusted themselves and the universe.

emotionally 22s they could be very hesitant people - often they struggle with trusting themselves as they should. they might be prone to break downs when they have to start over or when the outcome is not what they expected. they have to learn to trust their intuition. this is the one the few energies that i don't find has ego issues.

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[the-broken-truth]

The One She Left Behind - Platonic Yandere Sevika w/ Biological Son Reader [1]

Broken (Looking at a HexTech Crystal in my claws): I looked around and it said that Sevika is between 30 and 40. Based on this information, She got pregnant at 20 and abandoned the child with its father. Now, at her current age, she is in the Last Drop when she sees a face she never thought she would see again. Now, let the words weave together. Also, sorry I was gone for a while - I just needed a break.

[The Last Drop]

This was the life Sevika lived - Fighting, Drinking, Playing Cards, and being the Right Hand of the Eye of Zaun himself with the pay she was getting; she was living the good life, well, as good as life could be in the Undercity. She was currently in the Last Drop - a bar in Silco's Territory - in her usual booth with a cigar in her hand while she was playing cards with some other grunts on Silco's Payroll. Thieram was quick to make Sevika's drink before bringing it to her while she kicked ass in cards - she was living the good life...but there were sometimes when she thought about the life she had before Silco. Sevika blew smoke out of her mouth as she thought about the life she left behind and the life she left behind, not her life, but the life she created with the man she once loved.

"Sevika, you can't be serious. You're going to leave me? Leave us? To work for the Eye of Zaun?! Don't you know how dangerous he is and the company he keeps? You're willing to abandon everything we created for him?!" The Dark Skinned Zaunite Male yelled at Sevika's back as he held the crying bundle in his arms.

"I told you - this isn't the life I want. I want adventure, power, and money, and working for Silco will give me everything I am looking for. Just keep that kid far away from me and have a good life without me." Sevika said as she started walking away with her hands in her pockets while listening to the man she once loved shushing the infant.

"Don't cry, my son. Father is going to take care of you from now on - you won't be alone ever again and I'll make sure you aren't tainted by that life. I won't let Sevika taint you." The Zaunite said as he held the infant close to his face and hugged him, placing his nose on the infant's forehead, and giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead to quiet him. That was the last time she saw them and she never looked back.

Sometimes, Sevika would think back to that night - she wouldn't think about the man she once loved but she did think about her son: Was he still alive? What did he look like? Was he healthy? What did he do now? Did his father raise him properly? Sevika would walk down the street while running errands for Silco and see children running down the streets of Zaun and see them with their parents, she couldn't help but wonder how her life would have been if she kept her son, raised him into being a Son of Zaun. Sevika would push the thoughts down before continuing on her path.

The sound of the door opening pulled Sevika out of her thoughts and watched as a tall figure walked in with a leather satchel over their shoulder, a brown cloth cloak with their hood up, and from what Sevika could see, black pants with black leather boots - all in rather good condition; where did they get those items? The material was from Zaun but it looked so good that she thought it could come from Piltover. Sevika watched the stranger walk into the center of the bar before pulling the hood off their head and Sevika's eyes widened: The stranger was male, with dark skin, short dark brown hair, and calm brown eyes. He had a scar over his eyebrow but he looked just like her former loving but with her eyes - was he...

"[Name], you're here." Thieram said as he walked from around the counter and walked over to the tall male who smiled at him before opening the satchel and pulling out a box before handing it to Thieram.

"Sorry for being late, I had to make sure all the systems worked perfectly and wouldn't overheat after hours of usage." The taller male - [Name] - said before handing the box to Thieram who smiled, took the box before reaching into his pocket, and pulled out a small sack of Silver Cogs and handing it to [Name], who looked in the sack before closing it, pocketed the sack and shook hands with Thieram.

"How's your father?" Thieram asked as he tucked the box under his arm.

"Father is doing better than he was last week, he's still a little stressed but his blood pressure is going down. I'm having him relax more while I run errands." [Name] explained before he pulled his hood over his head, "I'll see you later, Thieram." He said before he turned on his heel and walked away, opening the door and walking out of the Last Drop. Sevika watched the male before getting up from her chair and followed after him.

Sevika looked at the flowing cloak of the young man before walking up to him, stopping a few feet away when he stopped walking and took a deep exhale before turning to face Sevika.

"Is there a reason you are following me?" [Name] asked as he pulled the hood off his head again and glared at Sevika with his brown eyes - eyes that matched her own when she was angered; he was a perfect reflection of her, just as the opposite gender.

"I noticed you in the Last Drop. You said your name was [Name], correct?" Sevika asked.

"What business is it of yours?" [Name] raised an eyebrow. That attitude - just like hers when she was his age.

"Tell me, [Name], who is your father?" Sevika asked. [Name] scoffed at Sevika, causing her to raise her eyebrow higher.

"Don't ask dumb questions that you already know the answer to, Sevika. You know my father because you abandoned him years ago, you know who I am and that's why you followed me out of the Last Drop. Why don't you go back with those drunks and return to playing cards?" [Name] suggested.

"You shouldn't speak to your mother like that." Sevika really went there - she played that card - making [Name] bear his teeth, surprisingly he had perfect fangs.

"You don't have the right o youse that title. You are no mother, you are a deserter, a betrayer, and a whore. I want nothing to do with you, so stay the hell away from me or I'm going to break you." [Name] snarled before turning on his heel and marched down the street while Sevika stood there with wide eyes and a smirk on her face. Her son was no pushover - speaking to the Right Hand of the Eye of Zaun like that. It was good to see he inherited her strong spirit but she wondered what else he inherited from her. She was going to have to find out in the coming days, but first, she needed to find out where he lived.

'Time for an investigation.' Sevika thought as she turned on her heel and returned to the Last Drop.

[To Be Continued In 2]

#arcane sevika #platonic yandere #yandere #thieram #male reader #son reader #teen reader

[bratzforchris]

Hi, hope you’re having a good day so far☀️

Could I request a fic (Luke x reader) where Luke’s autistic and how she helps him when he gets overwhelmed. Like in public or if he’s had a bad day or something like that. You have free reigns cause I’m extremely tired and couldn’t come up with anything better😅💞

My Ray of Sunshine

❃

Summary: Above

Pairing: Luke x feminine reader

Warnings: Autistic meltdown, borderline panic attack

Word Count: 913

A/N: Thank you so, so much for the request! Neurodivergent!Luke is my favorite thing ever :)

❃

“Do we have to?” Luke asked nervously, picking at his lip. 

You placed a hand on his shaking thigh for a comforting gesture, rubbing up and down. “I’m afraid so, honey. I know it’s so hard, but afterwards, we can go home and you can relax, okay?”

“I don’t want to. It’s gonna be loud.” he said, voice shaking slightly. 

“That’s why you have your headphones, my love,” You reminded him gently. “I’ll be there to help you, too.”

You and Luke were currently in the parking lot of the grocery store, waiting for him to get comfortable enough to go in. You normally wouldn’t bring him to the grocery store with you because of how much sensory overload it gave him, but you really needed some vegetables for dinner tonight and you two were already by the store after his psychiatrist appointment. 

To be completely honest, Luke being autistic had never, ever affected you negatively. He wasn’t wrong or broken, his brain just worked differently. He was by far the sweetest, most loving boyfriend you had ever had and you treasured him for that. 

“Everyone’s gonna look at me funny…” he said, starting to tear up. 

You cooed, rubbing his arm gently. “They’re just disrespectful idiots, Lu. There’s nothing wrong with accommodating your own needs, baby.” 

Luke sniffled, wiping his tears with the heels of his hands. “I’m ready.” he whispered softly. 

You gave him an encouraging smile and helped him out of the car, holding his hand throughout the parking lot while his other hand played with his fidget necklace. However, your feelings of confidence about Luke being able to handle the store diminished when you stepped inside. 

It was beyond crowded, and there were quite a few children screaming as their parents desperately tried to shop. You glanced up at Luke, already feeling your heart breaking. His shoulders had hunched significantly and he was holding his headphones to his ears, eyes wide with anxiety. You grabbed a cart quickly, knowing you needed to keep a level head right now. 

“C’mon, Lu. Let’s get what we need so we can get home.” You encouraged him. 

Luke held onto the cart, practically gluing himself to your side as you shopped. It wasn’t long before you felt a small tug at your shirt while you were grabbing berries. You turned around to face Luke and nearly cried at the sight you saw. The poor boy had silent tears running down his

face as he hit himself in the chin with his fist, desperately trying to rid himself of the overstimulation. 

“Oh honey,” You cooed. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t even notice you weren’t feeling good. Come on, bubba. Let’s go home.” You completely abandoned your cart, taking Luke’s hand and leading him towards the exit at the front of the store. 

‘I wanna go home’ he signed pitifully to you, signifying that he was nonverbal at the moment. 

“We’re going, sweetie,” You said gently as you two stepped out into the parking lot. “Try to take some deep breaths, my love. In through your nose, your through your mouth.”  The blond was trying his hardest, but he was so overwhelmed at the moment that the last thing he was thinking about was his breathing. By the time you helped him into the passenger seat, he was gasping for air, sobbing loudly. You found his communication cards in the center console and handed them to him once he was looking at you. 

“Luke,” You said firmly, but not unkindly. “I need you to breathe. You’re making yourself more overwhelmed right now. Can you copy me?” You asked him. 

Luke slowly began to copy your breathing, which led to him visibly relaxing. Once he had caught his breath, he flipped through the cards before landing on one and showing it to you. ‘I’m overwhelmed’ it read, followed by a card that said ‘I feel sick’. 

“Oh bubba,” You cooed sadly. “Here, I have some things to help, my love.” You made sure not to make any sudden movements before passing Luke a weighted blanket from the backseat (that you kept in the car for this exact reason), his comfort stuffie, and a bottle of water. 

“Try to take small sips, sweetie. I’m going to start driving now. Tap my arm if you feel like you need to throw up, love.” You told him. 

You knew how much Luke’s overstimulation attacks wore him out, but you also knew that he would be able to rest and recharge much quicker at home than in the parking lot. Once your boyfriend nodded, you slowly started driving home, looking over at Luke every now and then. The blond was hugging his stuffed animal to his chest as he snuggled under the weighted blanket, still sniffling. 

By the time you pulled into your driveway, Luke was fast asleep in the passenger seat. You cooed softly, snapping a quick picture of him. He looked like an absolute angel with the afternoon sunshine beaming onto his mop of blond curls. You knew how much energy autistic

meltdowns took out of him, so you continued to let the car idle so he could sleep. After all, the gas in the car was replaceable. The beautiful angel you were so lucky to call your boyfriend wasn’t, so you were content to let him get his rest. In fact, it was therapeutic for you too. 

“My ray of sunshine.” You whispered softly to yourself. 

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings fanfic #luke 5sos #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #fanfic #michael clifford #5 seconds of summer #5sos fic #calum hood #5sos fanfic #5sos #ashton irwin #autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #audhd #asd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #5sos blurb #5sos smut #5sos x reader #5sosfam #5sos imagine #calum 5sos #5sos moodboard

[lunarsilver]

What awaits you in December?

As always, choose the picture or number you feel most drawn to.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Tarot readings will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them and that’s okay too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason of making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

PILE 1

Theme (Major Arcana only): The Lovers – Back of the Deck: The Empress

More info: Ace of Pentacles (R) – Ace of Cups (R) – The Fool – Back of the Deck: Seven of Swords (R)

Oh man, so many cards related to new beginnings!

The theme of your December will be relationships and feminity (regardless of your gender). The deck I used for this part of the reading futures characters from a certain game – both of them are young girls being in touch with who they are and what they want (maybe some of you play Genshin Impact and Barbara or Fischl are somehow special for you). There’s this stepping into your power and embracing who you are. Even if some may think your hobbies or how you express yourself is weird or cringe, there is also a lot people out there that would adore you and appreciate what you do for them.

As I said at the beginning, the second part of the reading kinda shocked me, literally all of the cards except the one at the back talk about some sort of a new start, pretty straightforward. This December is a whole new beginning, why wait for the new year. Be careful, there’s some chance you can miss if you won’t act. Plan ahead. There will be some looking into yourself, understanding your emotions. Do you have an imposter syndrome? There will be harder moments, but The Fool heralds a new beginning, stepping into your power and having fun with discovering new things. Seriously, getting to know yourself better and embracing it just keeps popping up. A truly „stop cringing, embrace the cringe” message.

Kinda an afterthought, but your relationships with family can be important, most likely with your parents and/or siblings, especially with your (older) sister.

PILE 2

Theme (Major Arcana only): Death (R) – Back of the Deck: The World

More info: Queen of Wands (R) – Three of Pentacles – Five of Pentacles – Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands

Looks like you will experience some blockages and stagnancy, but it’s also pretty clear this December is all about your inner self: seeking closure and inner transofrmation. It isn’t really about outer world, more about you yourself. Maybe some of you will feel a little stuck in your spirituality or disconnected from your ancestors/spirits. In case any of you plays Genshin Impact, I used a deck with characters from it for this part of the reading and the ones on your cards are Hu Tao and Paimon, maybe they’re somehow significant to you.

Now, going more into details – we have Wands and Pentacles here, fire and earth. Do you plan to visit some older building, all in white and beige, maybe abandoned, full of plants? Pretty specific, but it came to my mind when I was looking at the pictures of the Pentacles cards, they have both a pretty similar vibe, calming and kinda mysterious. A museum? Renaissance vibes.

Yeah, this Queen of Wands in reverse? That’s what I was talking about earlier, you concentrate energy on yourself now. You may spend more time alone, to understand yourself better. However! It doesn’t mean you won’t have people around you, after all we have two cards from the Court here. You will work on some project together. Remember about clear communication with each other. Nearer the end of December you can have some struggles; save some money for sure, and remember to have reliable people around you. You know, if you ever feel lonely, remember it’s always temporary. Knight of Wands says you’ve got it! You have this passion and determination, pile 2, you can do this! Oops, the Knight slided out of the pile and The Lovers showed up from under it. So, there was this feeling in me that for some of you The Knight can actually represent someone else that will be important for you during December, and I feel like these Lovers kinda confirm it. Some bond, maybe? As if this Knight was about to bring a precious relationship, you are the queen and someone else is the knight – for some, of course. Alternatively, it’s a confirmation of my words: you will do it. Some choices are to be made, and you have the fire in you to make it.

PILE 3

Theme (Major Arcana Only): The Tower – Back of the Deck: Justice

More info: The Hanged Man – King of Pentacles – Six of Swords – Back of the Deck: Knave of Wands (R)

Okay, guys, some major, sudden change, a big event or process that can be hard for you to handle. After The Tower usually something better comes to us, so keep it in mind when it won’t be easy for you. This change is related to what Justice represents: clarity and truth, cause and effect, Justice doesn’t take anybody’s shit. Whatever it is, justice will be served. For some, it can be more literal, be about law. For others, maybe someone who treated you unfair or bullied you is going to deal with the consequences. If you feel like you can be the bad guy in someone’s scenario, it’s time to change. Wow, sorry for being so serious here, just gotten into this mood after seeing the cards. In case any of you plays Genshin Impact, I used a deck with characters from it for this part of the reading and the ones on your cards are Raiden Shogun and Jean, maybe they’re somehow important to you. Some problems with keeping balance in your life?

Moving on, the beginning of this December is about letting go, stopping for a moment, reflecting, looking from a different perspective. It looks like you will be in your power, pile 3! Money, work – you have this under control. Maybe you will be some kind of a leader. Working on some passion project? There’s this stability and reliability in you, even thought different things can be frustrating. Remember to be patient. The end of the December will bring you a transition of some kind, leaving something behind – probably The Tower will be in ruin by now and you will start something new, better than what this Tower was. We have here Major Arcana, Pentacles, Swords and Wands, we only lack Cups (I actually saw a reversed King of Cups while shuffling but it didn’t pop out) – this can signalize a disconnection from feelings. Remember to give yourself some time to think about why you feel a certain way.

#pac reading #pac #free tarot reading #tarot reading #tarot #witchbrl #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a card #december #december 2022

[bonesfool]

When I was growing up, Thanksgiving was never a time for family. We never went to relatives houses and we never hosted my grandparents or cousins or aunts and uncles.

My parents were the only married couple with kids in their friend group. A big part of this was that they both worked in theater, and so many of their friends were queer and in the early 2000s it was difficult for queer people to make their own family, and common that they would be shunned from the one they were already a part of.

So my mom always had our doors open on Thanksgiving to what she called “the strays.” There were a couple of pillars at every Thanksgiving, people who would come every year. But they were always encouraged to bring their friends as well, anyone who didn’t have a place to go to spend the Holiday. We had so many characters across the years. One year we had the designer of a Malibu Barbie come and he and I were both delighted to learn that I had that same Barbie, and we played together after dinner. Another time we had a man who had immigrated from Sri Lanka only a couple months before, and was bewildered but excited to be experiencing an American Holiday.

But maybe the most impactful guest we ever had was a man named Timothy. He was a professionally trained French chef, and he made us a beautiful roast duck that I did not eat because I was four and thought turkey was an ok bird to eat but duck was not. Everyone else loved it of course. Timothy was with us that year because most of his family had disowned him after he came out, and the rest did after he learned he was HIV+.

Before and after dinner I asked him if he would play with me, and he was hesitant to say yes. My family knew of his seropositive status, he felt it was important to disclose it to people before they welcomed him into their homes. He knew that many people would be uncomfortable with an HIV+ man playing with their young child, so he asked my mom’s permission.

She of course said yes, there was nothing about playing with dolls that would transmit the disease, and him having it did not make him an immoral person that could not be trusted around children. This was the first time anyone had expressed that sentiment to him in years, and he broke down into tears. He told my mom that he had always been excited to be in the children of his family’s life and it was so hard to be told he couldn’t. And then we played for the whole evening.

That Christmas when we sent out cards, my mom asked me to make one for him, since he’d played with me and kept me occupied so she could cook.

Early the next year, my parents received this poem/letter in the mail. [Transcript in alt text]

I did not remember much of this story or this day or this man. But my mom told me about him years later, and gave me the poem she had kept for me. Timothy died a couple years ago from complications due to AIDS. I regret that we did not keep in closer contact with him throughout my childhood and I wish I could tell you more about him than this story.

Ever since I learned of his life, and his death, the meaning of Thanksgiving has changed for me. Thanksgiving is not about family, it is about community. It is about providing for those in our vicinity who need it. It’s about mourning those who were not given it. I ask everyone who reads this today to not only grieve our indigenous brothers and sisters, for they certainly deserve the thoughts and attention, but also all of the people left behind by our neoliberal society. Those people abandoned by the nuclear family and the non-existent social safety net. Those who lost their lives as victims to state-sanctioned violence. Please remember your unhoused siblings, your disabled siblings, your undocumented siblings, your refugee siblings. And please open your homes to anyone you know who needs a warm meal in their bellies and a small act of kindness in their hearts.

[blackstarmylove]

Wdyt about zakuro and Mizuki personality growth?

Also, it is a simple light ask, do you think that each cast's childhood will show some light about black card and such? I just read 20th Century Boys and it is about children making silly little conspiracies and at adult, realizes they screwed up because few children back then made that conspiracy come true.

Zakuro has not changed since he entered Starless. In fact, if anything, he is shown in a crazier light. In one of the main story chapters, Zakuro fell down the stairs and laughed like a maniac. The whole incident freaked Kasumi - someone who is very calm and composed - out. Seeing Kasumi like this even stunned Sotetsu. The next day, Zakuro seemed fine, even though Kasumi clearly saw he wasn't okay.

There are a lot of theories floating around about this, including but not limited to Zakuro being a clone, having an evil twin, and Zakuro not even being Zakuro and being someone else. Also, some fans and some cast members feel like Zakuro is lying about his memory loss. Oh, and let's not forget him trying to get Yoshino to go to some weird therapy session.

----

Mizuki's character has developed more since the beginning. He was a childish, out-of-control, but sweet brat. He was never serious about his practice with Team P, considering his hatred towards Rindou. Why he hates Rindou, we have yet to find out. After the development of Team B, he seemed to settle down a little. Before, he didn't care much about others, except Kokuyou, but after the creation of Team B, he started developing a caring side. Team B is like his family; if he senses a threat to his family, he will be ready to go to war.

Saying all this, in the recent B chapters, we see that Mizuki has a long way to go in terms of maturity. His possessiveness towards Team B tends to draw out his childish side. Rico has to step in and make the necessary decisions when this happens.

----

Theories under the cut - mentions of dark themes.

There are so many theories about Black Card, and with Donuts not giving enough information, we honestly don't know who or what the organization is. Relating to their childhood and the breadcrumbs Donuts provided, there might be a connection between some characters' childhood and Black Card. Here are some of the theories:

The members of Starless were orphans, and they were sold to the black market as kids. Some of them manage to escape, namely, Kei, which is why Heath is angry at him. Heath thinks Kei abandoned him and MC. At that time, Kei would be 9 years old, and Heath would be 5-6 years old. This is a little weird for me to wrap my head around because for a young child to remember something so concrete doesn't make sense. Also, Kei only returned to Japan at the age of 24. So it's not even like they had contacted each other during that timeframe.

Another theory suggests that some characters have their memories wiped, and the key to the memories is the Black Card. Technically, this is not a fan theory, as it is hinted at in the game. Why they lost their memories or how we don't know. But we know that the original BlackStar soundtrack has some connection to the character's memories, namely, MC's memories. Something interesting I want to point out - whenever people ask Kokuyou about his scar, he says he doesn't remember and prefers not to. This could mean he doesn't remember his past. Another piece of information to back this up is that Kokuyou's dog tag says Chiaki Takamori, and MC might be Chiaki or have some connection to them. The odd part about this, Heath and Kei both know Chiaki, yet they have not acknowledged his dog tag (or they might already know and not want to acknowledge it).

Another interesting theory is that Black Card might not be an evil organization. For all we know, Kei or his parents could have created it. Some people want to get their hands on a Black Card to know to be part of the organization. Donuts could totally be playing us by making players think Black Card is bad. It makes more sense if it was a bad organization, but who knows.

As for the childhood conspiracies and making them come true. Yeah, it could be possible. Kokuyou could have done something as a child and got injured as a result and possibly lost Chiaki. Kei could have messed up and caused problems for the other kids. Heath could have done something purely out of anger. Theater Starless has a lot of mysteries, and anything - I mean anything - is possible.

#anon ask #kiara answers #bsts #blackstar theater starless #bsts kei #bsts mizuki #bsts zakuro #bsts kasumi #bsts heath #bsts kokuyou #bsts sotetsu #bsts rico #bsts theory #bsts character info

[dollsgravee]

a lil something ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

hi! recently ive started doing a little writing and wanted to come on here and share it for some feedback!! this is just a little intro to a story I've been workshopping for a bit >-<. it has some ethel cain references (cause I looooooove her!! ) idk if its good...so please all criticism is NEEDED! so yes i want feedback! ahem enough said below is the intro:

My mama kneaded the dough, underneath the sunlight, she seemed younger, full of life. I watched her from the crack in the door, always peeking, always wanting to be near. I was constantly captivated by her, an unseen observer, always yearning to be by her side. I can not recall when I became a parasite, sucking on the back of my mama's leg to stay warm. From the start, I was dealt bad cards, and fate ultimately screwed me over. 

A broken-down home in the middle of nowhere is all I’ve ever known. Daddy’s been comatose, lying on the bed. Mama forbade me from entering the room, and she barely goes in it herself. I would never say this out loud to Mama, but I have started to suspect that he’s dead. Something has started to smell rotten from that room and I fear that it will clog up , overtaking our every scent and soon even Mama won’t be able to deny the malevolent smell that will become etched into our home.  The nights get cold, but despite this, she would sleep with her back turned to me. Yet I would still cling to her like a leech, my limbs wrapped around her. In the daytime she doesn’t speak, choosing to spend her time sitting on the big chair that was once Daddy’s. The armchair is frayed and the fabric is long faded. She sits there and stares off into the distance, a look in her eyes tells me that she is far gone. I watch her. I watch as she cries, and she slowly withers away from me. I don't ever blame her for loving me the way she did while her heart was being ripped apart. Or if she loved me at all.  Silently I exist. Words have not been uttered in a while and I continue to wonder how much longer we will live this feral lifestyle. Will I ever get out of this cycle? I wonder most days. I sit on the floor and think. I never weep though, mama already does enough of that for the both of us. Instead, I dream. I dream of being placed on the back of a white horse and whisked away. To a place where the people are kinder, Mama won’t have to cry anymore.  I thought good guys were the ones who got happy endings. Am I no good? I feel as if I am not, for I am incredibly unhappy. I am poison in the water, spreading. The bane of Mama’s pain. She never says but I can tell by the way she doesn’t look at me or spare me a moment of her day. 

Daddy used to be a man of faith, attending church every Sunday. He would take me with him, and sit me down on the seat next to him. I would watch as he closed his eyes and his eyebrows would furrow every so slightly as the Preacher began his sermon. I still remember the words from that church that day, and even now they spin through my mind: a mother is a very special thing, other than lord jesus christ. a mother is one of the best gifts that god could give to the world. The Preachers never left me after that day, and I assume that is why I am still clinging to Mama after all this time. Daddy would murmur words throughout the Preacher's speech. I never asked him what he was praying for him….and I guess I’ll never know. I took after his habits and used to pray for him to get better, and for Mama to love me again. I would shut my eyes tight, and whisper prayers but I started to realize all I was hearing back was the echo of my desperate cries. Does God not care for me? Or were my words tainted? The sins of my parents, and the sins of theirs being marked on me, making God abandon me. 

After church Daddy used to play a game with me, hiding me under the leaves. He would leave for a while and I would have to stay concealed until he comes back. The roughness of the leaves is still inscribed into my skin and the smell of them is forever on my clothes. Some days, he would leave me there for a while, and yet I would never emerge from the leaves. I would lay covered and still. I never knew why Daddy did that, and where he went while I was hidden. Mama never came looking for me even if I was gone for days. Even if Daddy left me there for that long of a period, he still came back every time. Even now years later I find myself hiding myself under the leaves, the scent bringing me comfort. 

I would like to remember Daddy in his fondest moments and cling to Mama even in her worst. Although I know Daddy wasn’t the hero in my story. I think I will still forever be a little girl needing him, waiting for him to allow her to get up from the leaves. Or the little girl leeching onto her Mama. 

Mama no longer wants me. This I know. I have been thrown off to the side but I will continue to crawl back to her for she is all I got. She is all I have in this small shack; it is my entire world. Bloodied and beaten from her kicks I will still grasp onto her leg. Even if I die doing it. 

#ethel cain #mother cain #nicole dollanganger #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writers and poets #story #feedback #preachers daughter #aestethic #creepycore #spooky

[bright-and-burning]

thank you for the tag @albonoooo <333

star sign: leo (attention whore signs 4 the win)

favourite holiday: my neighborhood does neighbor day every year and that’s a solid percentage of my favorite childhood memories. my neighborhood is very very close (very much so an “it takes a village” mentality) so i grew up with essentially twenty aunts and uncles. and also like ten dogs and thirteen vaguely cousin-esque figures on my block. anyways it’s like a massive potluck barbecue thing, it goes from like noon to whenever the last person heads in (which can be quite late). think like. potluck barbecue to casual day drinking to big bonfire w smores as the day goes by. as a kid i spent the whole day roaming the neighborhood and coming back every so often to grab food from the tables before heading off again. as an adult i got to get drunk on seltzers with a bunch of 50 somethings and it was incredible

last meal: omg it was my last ohio meal… i got it from this really special like local version of sonic’s (like a drive up food place). they make their burgers w a little bit of brown sugar and mashed banana (they’re the best burgers i’ve ever had). so i had a double hamburger w fries and a mint shake w brownie spindled in. if you’re ever driving through ohio PLEASE hit me up to get this place’s name it’s GLORIOUS. 1980s pricing (admittedly 80s portions too lol). neon signs everywhere. what i will miss the most

current favourite musician: i tend to just hit play on my liked songs so whatever i liked most recently gets played wayyyy more. a lot of the backseat lovers rn

last music listened to: mama’s gun by glass animals (BANGER OF A SONG!!!)

last movie watched: the muppet christmas carol i think . yeah according to letterboxd that lmfao

last tv show watched: i just binged monarch: legacy of monsters w my parents (amazing godzilla tv show but godzilla’s only in it for like. 10 minutes total lol. gay people <3) and then we started lockwood & co tonight on a whim

last book/fic finished: the invisible library by genevieve cogman !!! so good. librarian spy thieves…

last book/fic abandoned: oh gosh. i am such a completionist that i don’t think i ever leave books unfinished. technically i won’t be able to finish the masked city (the sequel to the invisible library) bc it belongs to the library and i am moving. but i will be picking it back up as soon as i have a library card in my new area so? does that even count? yeah i don’t really dnf things

currently reading: the masked city by genevieve cogman technically. lol. i’m trying to read at least a page a day in january. some days that means literally reading a page other days it’s reading 300. since i started the masked city like four days ago ive only made it through 30 pages bc moving is a nightmare so.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: hm. technically for the last thing i like posted that would be the drug testing guidelines for f1 (tldr fun fact party drugs are fine out of competition). i read like. 60 pages of legalese. and a bunch of medical stuff and then several wikipedia pages and guides for athletes. the last wikipedia article i opened was for NATO and i have no idea why LOL

favourite online fandom memory: i have the memory of a goldfish… i’m also pretty sure f1 is the first time i’ve been involved w a fandom like. as it’s happening. i’m usually a latecomer . i did enjoy whatever the fuck went down w supernatural and putin that was fun second hand (literally thru a groupchat bc i was in my significantly less terminally online era aka i was in college)

favourite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: newsies (1992) my beloved… i plotted out a fic that would stretch over like. 40 years. i went INSANE on historical accuracy research. and then i got depressed… someday my magnum opus (slice of life polyamory through turn of the century nyc) will come to fruition

favourite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: i feel like there’s been a million times i’ve walked out of a movie (or finished a book, or a tv show) and gone to ao3 and then it has like. 4 works. the rivers of london series by ben aaronovitch only has like . 1k fics on ao3. and not a lot of ppl posting on tumblr. so maybe that?

tempting project you're trying to rein in/don't have time for: all of them tbh… runners au really (it’s spawned into like three different fics of plot lines Plus an epistolary type companion…). i literally constantly come up w ideas (usually hyper specific aus) all the time ask dees it’s a PROBLEM for me. bc i have no time for any of them…

no pressure tags if u wld like <3 @userkritaaay @leclercenjoyer @drivestraight @oscarpiastriwdc @eyes-likepilotlights (i have not paid a ton of attention to who has done this/been tagged sorry)

#tag game #wow i’m like so long winded lol. sorry!!!!!!!!! leo moment #or smthn .

[roppongi-division]

Zakari's Thoughts on Third Members

Saburo Yamada

"Saburo's another good friend of mine, though I'm not as close to him as I am to his older brothers. Still, it's kind of a shock that he's only in middle school considering how smart he is. It also doesn't help that he's the youngest person in the D.R.B., or that his birthday comes late in the year, like mine. But he's still a cool guy, despite his personality. I'm actually teaching him how to play games of chance. He's pretty good! Unlike Jiro, he's got a killer poker face!"

Rio Mason Busujima

"I met Rio while exploring Yokohama once. Normally, I try to keep within the city. Venturing on the outskirts is a bit boring since there aren't a lot of high places to jump from. But curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to head towards the woodlands. I certainly wasn't expecting to find someone living, least of all a former army official. He was pretty nice, though. We played a few card games, and he was surprisingly good. I don't know if he played before, or if he was good at keeping a straight face, but he actually beat me a few times. To thank me, he gave me some of his homemade food. I know it looked gross, but it actually tasted pretty good!"

Dice Arisugawa

"Ugh, I wish my parents would get off my back about Dice and me being friends. He and I are one and the same, so it's no surprise we're cool with each other. Apparently, they're afraid that he's going to drag me down with him. But how do they know it's not the opposite? How do they know I'm not the one dragging him down? But this is just one of those topics where the three of us agree to disagree. My dad says I can do what I want, but he's not responsible for what I do as a result. Gee, thanks pop."

"Besides that, it's because of Dice that I was able to meet Lucille. I know she was frustrated that I beat her, but now... well, we'll pretty happy with each other, even if I do know that she's probably biding her time to try to trap me in something. But hey, I'm looking forward to it!"

Doppo Kannonzaka

"This guy... he both infuriates and worries me. Why? Well, for one thing, I've seen what this guy can do when he's pissed off. He's got a surprisingly hot temper. So what I want to know is, why the hell doesn't he use that temper to knock the people who are bothering him at his job, huh?! I mean, if someone was bothering me as much as those folks at his job do, I would have gone off a long, long time ago! But no, he chooses to just go through with it! It's no wonder his boss and co-workers walk all over him! And then he has the gall to get upset at Dice for trying to earn money an easy way! Why don't you try changing you work environment before you judge someone, you cowardly piece of crap!"

"...Anyway, that's why this guy infuriates me. But the reason he worries me... it's because I'm afraid that I may have to become like him someday: a regular officer worker making minimum wage, doing the same crap every day. Sorry, but that's not for me. If the choice is between living like Doppo or living like Dice, I'll take Dice's way of living any day of the week."

Rei Amayado

"...I'll just say it plainly: I don't like this guy. I don't know what reason he has for abandoning his own sons, and I don't care. There is no excuse in the world for it. And then, after revealing yourself to your sons, instead of apologizing to them, you choose to just go back to doing what you've been doing, being a lapdog for the government, while conning people out of their funds. I know I bitched at Doppo, but at least that guy is working to earn his money, no matter how bad his work environment is. You should take a page out of his book, pal."

Hitoya Amaguni

"I don't know Hitoya all that well. When I go to Nagoya, it's mainly to hang out with Kuko and Jyushi. Hitoya sometimes joins in, but it's more out to keep an eye on us than actually trying to participate. He reminds more of a grumpy uncle than anything. ...I wonder what would happen if Kuko and I started calling him that. Oh, the look on his face! We've got to try that out sometime!"

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #zakari hiroya #private party #roppongi division #saburo yamada #rio mason busujima #dice arisugawa #doppo kannonzaka #rei amayado #hitoya amaguni

[ruler-of-the-universe-boy]

give-grian-rights is a hermitshipper

Hold that thought

Thinking of how Grian is a meow meow and Taurtis is a bark bark. Perfect for each other, but what about Sam? What is he?

In Tokyo Soul ‘Dragon Ball Z!!’ #37 with timestamp 20:15, Grian says that Sam is his dog and Sam lists all the things he does as a dog with a suit and all agree (including UnstoppableLuck) that Sam is a dog. Does this mean Sam is a bark bark?

We need to look further in

Back in Yandere Highschool when they were still in the small town, everyone called him nicknames such as Bunny Boy, Carrot Boy, My Beloved Rabbit, Mario, Ruler of the Universe Boy (I was reading the wiki for the nicknames and accidentally put this in, this is when their classmate Igbar got possessed by Cthulhu and told Sam that he was gonna destroy the world at the end), and Disappointment from probably Grian one time. Does this also mean he might be a bun bun? Will he be replacing Chris Pratt in the new Super Mario movie? Or will he cause another world reset? But we sure know he’s a disappointment with his harsh crimes of playing Roblox in his downhill due to not giving us his credit card info when he got Robux

But let’s look more further in

Yandere Highschool reveals once more that in the small Halloween Arc, Sam is wearing satan horns and tail with red hot sauce eye contacts (the red hot sauce contacts isn’t canon in this, it’s from his old Winnie the Pooh series where he wore the same outfit and had that excuse for his red eyes, this time it’s because of the exhaustion of Yuki hunting him down after the Prom Arc and haven’t felt peace ever since) as a costume but reveals in ‘Halloween Special!’ #2 of the small arc in timestamp 4:20 of when Grian pulls the tail that it’s real. And Grian laughed about it. How sussy of him. And in the same episode in timestamp 7:25 it’s also revealed that Sam is the tallest, which is sus. Does this mean Sam is satan? Satan sounds pretty tall and probably the only being that wants his lover to fight someone in the streets

Come further down with me

The series packs so much lore for Disappointment, especially in ‘Bring Your Dad to School’ #76 where Kazoo Papá (it’s Grian but since they killed Yuki’s real father in a dumpster they had to improvise so Yuki and Taurtis wouldn’t find out, also it’s revealed that Karu (Yuki’s father) is Taurtis’ ‘son’ but it’s fake yet Taurtis still believes it due to his parenting abandonment issues in a young age in another series called Yandere) saw Sam’s father for the first time and quote “..didn’t even know Sam had a dad…. I assumed he sort of hatched out of the ocean or something..” and Sam also says he has a tail but tucks it between his legs. Rabbit tails are usually small and cannot go down that far, especially when it’s revealed in Tokyo Soul ‘I hate Jason!’ #12 in timestamp 13:41 when ShipCaptainSion asked Sam and Grian if they have booty treasure but misread it as Grian said “Well Sam’s got the finest booty in this entire store” and was ordered by Sam to slap it after. And due to how they reacted, it seems like the trio all have nice asses. Now back to the tail being tucked in, it might as well be a fish tail from the curve of the ass being too big for a normal rabbit tail to actually be tucked in between the legs. And Sam at a young age does seem to like baths, and even fake drowning to get some ladies attention, not even actually drowning

But what about that time in Tokyo Soul ‘The Dark Lord Cthulhu!’ #38 in timestamp 0:00 where he gave birth to a raw chicken in the boys bathroom and named it after Grian’s real name, Charlie? Who knows, but we do know Grian likes the name with no reason

In conclusion, Sam could be any type of animal. He could be a bark bark, a bun bun, a gup gup, or satan himself. Or maybe a milf chicken.

And whatever you do, don’t give him a carrot. Mario isn’t safe, none of us are safe. The Samgladiator lore is intense and we didn’t even talk about the time were he poisoned his crush

#anon ask #this has been in my ask box for like #a couple months #i did this in a flash I should’ve tagged yhs whoospie #yandere high school #samgladiator #tw samgladiator #grian #taurtis #tokyo soul #yhs sam #yhs grian #yhs taurtis

[mdhwrites]

I've been reading your analysis of Sasha and I would like to ask: You seem to defend that Sasha's actions are of her own fault entirely and that theyre not an indicative of her parents being abusive or negligent.

While I agree that they may not be abusive, shouldn't the fact that you seem to interpret Sasha as someone who has never been told no in her life be a sign that her parents did fail to properly raise her? Considering she's only 13, isn't it fair to place some blame on them? After all, we're mostly a product of how we are raised.

I apologize if I misinterpreted your words in any way.

This is actually a fair response and even in my last post on this, I argued that the divorce DID fuck her up. Hell, that they used too soft of hands to cradle her. By 13 though, especially with such an upbringing, you are starting to be your own person. Deciding what matters to you. Worse yet... Soft hands can't mold. They can't influence properly. So yes, they could have and should have done a better job at stopping Sasha from hardening her self aggrandizing ways but well... Parents make mistakes.

We all do. It's part of being human. And while we may have explanations, very few of us have excuses. After all, your argument effectively pushes the blame to literally ANYONE other than Sasha. After all, why didn't Oum and Bee try to reign in their daughter's friend? Why did Anne listen to Sasha when her parents taught her better? Why didn't Marcy decide to just stop hanging out with Sasha if she was so mean to her so often? Or hell, go broader. Why didn't her TEACHERS ever tell her no? Why didn't other kids ever stop her?

ANYONE could have told her no, made her face consequences, but instead they kept playing her game. Kept letting her live the base idea that she herself constructed.

That's also only IF her parents were soft. I'm theorizing just like anyone else but with what I've seen of people in my life, it's very possible that some other reason might be the explanation for Sasha's behavior. Hell, her youngest appearance has her screaming "Stop right there, EVILDOERS." She likely got that from a show or cartoon and that might have put the idea of her being a hero into her head. Her parents and everyone else thought it was just a kid playing around like kids do and so literally no one but Sasha is at fault.

It kind of exemplifies why "If everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe you're the problem," that I think applies well here. Sasha and her blatant disregard for morality is still the core problem here, even if others could have tried to temper it. A lot of morality after all is basic empathy. Many decide not to steal from an abandoned wallet not because it's illegal or the like but because they are empathic enough to recognize that it'd suck if their wallet was stolen and when they got it back, their cards and cash were missing. There's a reason why the golden rule, the thing you rely on when nothing else guides you, is "Treat unto others how you wish to be treated." A moment of asking if you'd be okay with this being done to you.

The thing that makes Sasha so terrifyingly effective though is that she DOES have empathy. It's part of what makes redemption for her possible but she doesn't use it to empathize and treat others kindly when we first meet her. Instead, she finds that nugget of you that means the most, empathizes with that desire to see it blossom... And then twists it as hard as can so that it serves HER. Any argument you give her against her intentions, she'll throw back at you as doing it for your own good like we say in Reunion and she'll shut it down due to her hero complex. After all, her version of the golden rule is "Do unto others what serves me, for my happiness equals EVERYONE'S happiness."

BUT the saving grace of Sasha is that she's not a complete narcissist. A lot of people are pawns but the second you come into her circle, you HAVE to stay. This is how Reunion is in character. She wants things to be the way they were but when faced with the choice of keeping her circle by having both Anne and her die, or letting go, she chooses the latter. It's a break in her personal image that she has to deal with but the price of losing one of those she holds dear is too high for her to pay otherwise. In S2, we see the fallout as she lashes out against this, hates the moment of weakness and thus wants ALL control to fix it and S3 shows it swinging the other way. Sasha is now TERRIFIED of that circle ever being broken again so now she's terrified of Anne's opinion of her, terrified of power when it comes to Anne... And doesn't want this same experience with Marcy, thus why she tries to rationalize her circle with Marcy being permanently broken so she just write Marcy off.

She is the character to me that needed the ten years THE MOST. Needed to craft an entirely new identity to be able to handle proper empathy with who she wants to be versus who she believes she is. Otherwise, she was vulnerable of falling into an equally destructive but inverted relationship with Anne where she is entirely at ANNE'S beck and call.

There's a reason why I REALLY like Sasha, especially since the writing on her is SO GOOD that despite only getting maybe a tenth of the show in screen time, the show actually does explore this stuff and give good reasons each time a transition needs to happen with her. She is the TIGHTEST of the writing in the show and probably the part that most proves that if Matt Braly wanted to tell a story as serialized as ATLA, he seems very capable of it.

And honestly, the show never tries to excuse Sasha so... Why does the fandom? It just wanting to not have Sasha have been a monster? Is it projection? I don't know but it's interesting to me that THIS topic is the one that has had a chain of asks going for as long as my genuine hot take of Marcy and Sasha not individually being main characters.

If it is projection though, maybe take a page from Sasha then and ask what it is you're doing and if it's the right thing. I learned that lesson the hard way coming out of High School. I didn't blame my parents, friends or society though. I hit rock bottom because I was an asshole and made myself better. It wasn't easy, it wasn't simple and I'm STILL dealing with the ramifications of effectively destroying my own confidence and ego back then (you all EASILY see the most confident face I can put on and even then, I try to admit I'm not omnipotent or anything like that.)

But if you really want to redeem yourself and make up for the past, excuses aren't going to do that. Showing you can learn and change does. That you recognize the past and don't want to repeat it. Almost like that's one of the lessons of Amphibia. To face change rather than try to dismiss it or run from it.

Oh, and this will be the last blog I do about trying to excuse Sasha's actions like this (except maybe discussing how Grime actively encourages her worst impulses, either by accident or on purpose) kind of for the reason I stated in the second paragraph. The idea that I could keep arguing why one source doesn't work but that if you're looking for an excuse, you'll find one anywhere around her. Sasha likely did that too before Amphibia so as to never have to change and that's part of my point with this being HER fault.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#sasha waybright #Amphibia