#my post yesterday didnt get posted i am so sad :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

badgyalshii · 2 months

Text

ITS NEVER OVER | II

Paul Atreides x Reader (always safe for POCS+ Plus size)

2.6k word count

warnings! idk really you tell me lmao. just sad really, flashbacks, etc. proofread, uhhh most of it.

A/N: im so happy i got the results that I did in the first part, im thinking of starting a taglist for this series maybe so just send me an ask saying you wanna be in there and i gotchuuuu! thank you to everyone who reads my stories, i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was pretty busy. i am overall happy with how this series is going! i was gonna leave it simple and end it here, but honestly i feel like i could keep going with this, love you guysss!😘

Access Part I here. I . II . III . IV .

¨its just protocol¨ ¨it wasnt necessary, i watched. Ive watched you, standing behind you. Who are you, paul?¨

¨y/n? Helloooo, y/n¨ chani waved her hand in your face as the memory slowly faded and you came back to your vision and seeing chani infront of you. You both laid on the small bed, hot when the sun was up or down. Chani wanted more, she swore she did. When she wasnt talking to you she was searching for something to make this ¨house¨ feel comforting, like a home. You closed your eyes as the flashback completely faded in your head. You both were laying down, she was across from you with a worried look on her face as you blinked. ¨yes chani?¨ ¨are you prepared?¨ she asked. You struggled to remember what she was talking about, and her concerned look never left her face. ¨To leave¨ chani whispers gently. She knew you still had feelings for paul, and she couldnt fight to win you over in your constant mental battle. You never felt like this before. Wanting only one person- no, needing them. Under your eyes grew heavier and heavier. Days grew longer and you hardly slept and when you did it was of paul, had you have no life of your own? Have you grown depressed? You sighed, stood and you dressed, taking a deep breath in as you pulled up your pants and grabbed your mask.

Its been 6 years, 6 years on arrakis with chani, and you never forgot. You never forgot the life that you used to have, the life you missed so deprately, and you never came to terms with your new life, even if it was with chani. You missed stilgar, you missed everyone, grouped together, eating, small laughs between you and your friends, paul picking at your plate whenever you didnt really feel like finishing your food. You loved chani, you love her, youve became closer and closer like sisters. She taught you her own individual skills that shes learned along the way, but you guys barely talked. Her company was comforting, but all you really thought about was paul, and his new marriage, and his new wife. Was it just…..protocol? You could tell when you spoke to chani that she was extremely uninterested in the topic of paul, but thats all you ever thought about.

You found another place in arrakis, it took about 6 sandworms to get to your destination and you lived in once again, another large rock. You and chani hunted for water and when you found it you both started to make another ¨tent¨ in the rock to live at for a while. You both sat down and ate.

¨whats on your mind?¨ chani asked worryingly, she worried, she worried so often. She only wanted whats best for you and it hurt to see you this way but she covered it with her toughness. ¨paul. Maybe he was right-¨ ¨y/n, it has been six years since then. Please-¨

¨maybe… i should go¨ you thickly swallowed, looking at your hands before you looked back up at her. Her jaw was clenched before she released it, she has an irritated look on her face before she released her eyebrows. ¨im coming with you”

As you got dressed to go back to him, you thought of him. Maybe it was because of the way he laughed so softly against your lips that made you miss him. Maybe its because of how his warm and rough fingers softly grazed your face and on your body sending butterflies in your stomach and tiny shocks wherever his loving touch landed, eager to touch you, the way his green but now electric blue eyes looked at you with pure admiration. He was so perfect. Everything you wouldbe thought you wanted on paper was right infront of you, waiting on you. You couldnt lie, you were excited to see him and thankful chani allowed you to go back. You wondered about him, wondered how he looked now, was he more mature? Did his voice get deeper? was it just protocol? Did you make a mistake? Is he safe? Is he still there? Does he still love you?

Anxiety crept through your throat before you swallowed it back down. Chani was already ready to go as soon as she shes going with you. You looked at her, she was sitting outside of the giant rock, waiting for you and if she wasnt already so smart, she turned feeling eyes on her back almost as if she could sense you, one eyebrow raised as she then crossed her arms and leaned on her left foot. You sighed before picking up your things, walking up to chani she put her hand on your shoulder and patted it. ¨can we just sit here? we just got here! look at the view¨ she said before crossing her arms again and looking at you with a smile.

The view was clearly beautiful. The sun coming down as it usually does but in this particular rock, there was something different about the scenery. ¨pretty cool for a shit planet¨ you muttered, dropping your things before you got down and sat criss cross. Chani joined you, enjoyed the view for a little longer before she looked over at you.

¨why do you like him so much, Paul?¨ she questioned kindly, usually she didnt like talking about him, she was never a fan. You looked at her, studying her face you could see she had a serious face beside her eye slightly winched from the sun, she waiting on your answer before she lifting her knee and laid on her elbow. you sighed before sitting with your legs flat out with your hands in your lap, it wasnt a hard question, it just caught you off guard. Why were you so attracted to him? . ¨i….i dont know, actually¨ you looked back into the view, chewing on the side of your cheek before continuing. ¨its not everyday you get a new comer who is so emotionally strong but you could see he is so lost in those gorgeous eyes. Someone so intelligent, beautiful, kind, and wise. Who wants to learn and is¨ you did an exaggerated sigh before raising your fingers to quote ¨so humble, as stilgar says¨ chani laughs before laying flat out. ¨he was new, wasnt like us. us growing up, we were used to the same routine, everyone around everyone. So when he got here, when he wanted me.. I just…felt…different. Everything felt different¨ a small smile played on your face as you thought of him.

“ever thought of kids?” paul asked, playing with your hair. “why are you thinking of kids in your current situation, paul? wouldnt that be too much?” you reply, your arm laid across him and your head in his chest. he chuckled in return, you felt his heartbeat skip and pitter patter before you felt the vibrations from his voice, “i wouldnt wanna have a kid unless its yours, y/n” and with that you smiled and looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist to flip you guys over, you both chuckled before paul pulled up the sheets.

You wanted to feel his warm embrace again. You wanted him again. ¨i had a vision- well a dream that one day, he would be ruler. Be so wise and so gentle, which he already is. But i would be at his side, carrying his kids. Happy family. Getting to see his eyes… looking into him and only seeing love, i wouldnt ever grow tired of it. Y/N atredies, queen of atredies, me and him. You and stilgar, everyone around each other. Happy family, happy life. Of course war, but-¨ you cut yourself off, ¨i just want love, ever since i experieced it with him, its hard to let go. He teached me genuine love, nothing less, nothing more. The way he was so honest. How could i ever let that go?¨ you questioned, a puzzled look on your face as you waited on chani to answer. She took a pause, she once again looked back at the view before looking at you.

¨you do understand that he isnt the same anymore, right?¨”she said, looking up. ¨i understand,¨ you nodded, ¨ and i saw it, when he said he was waiting for me. He changed when he drunk the water of life. I dont think he really… values relationships anymore. I remember, i remember before he drunk the water, way before. He would tell me about these nightmares he had and how he was going to do everything to stop it¨ you pursed your lips to the side, as the conversation flowed, your confidence in your relationship was going lower and lower. As much as you didnt want to hear it, you needed to. ¨he lost himself, y/n¨ chani says. ¨are you sure when you walk back into his life hes gonna be the same old paul?¨

You bit your lip before looking down at your hands and let out a breath, ¨thats what were going to find out, right?¨ ¨to be honest,¨ chani sighed and put her hands behind he head, looking at the ceiling of the rock. ¨ i dont really trust him, never did. nor do i like him. He took advantage of us y/n. Tricked us, making us fight for him¨ chani said without filter. ¨he is the preacher, its written. I believe in him¨ you said pridefully, showing humility as you will always stand behind your one true love. ¨you got your sight taken by the vision of love¨ chani looks at you, she felt bad that you were so blind. But you were often like this, always have been. Soft, sensitive, caring. Its true, you and muad´dib are perfect for each other, chani could see that, but you honestly didnt wanna talk about it if she wasnt even gonna try to understand. ¨white savior¨ she finishes and looks up at the ceiling of the rock again before she looks back into the distance. ¨i love him¨ that was your finishing statement.

It was as if nothing faded, like you didnt grow, like you saw paul yesterday, like you never left. Chani felt so bad, so bad that you kept searching for paul in sleepless nights. But she also felt slightly angry, as if she didnt take you under her wing and teach you something brand new, a new way of life. It was like you totally discarded it, like you didnt want it, you didnt want to. Paul or nothing. Did you not value chanis friendship? Her love? She would never ask, shes too dominate for that. But it bothered her.

¨we should leave before it gets too late¨ chani mutters, letting out a slight groan before she stood and wiped her hands off on the pockets of her pants. You followed suit and picked up your bag before something dropped. It was pauls necklace, a family heirloom he trusted you with, he wanted you to have it. You looked at it before picking it up, rubbing over it and placing it over your neck before following chani.

The sand crunched against your shoes as you followed her, she was silent as she held the tools to get a sandworm. It was offly hot today and you both lacked water so she viewed it at that point, she already discussed with you that she wasnt gonna work for muad´dib, wasnt gonna fight for him, only gonna fight for her people. You looked at her, the sweatbeads on her forehead visible but it didnt make her look bad. You sat while you waited for the sandworm to appear.

When you arrived the foundation looked huge, guards around the premises dressed in black, all tall, muscular, and you could easily tell they were worthy of their place. ¨follow me¨ chani said, her walk bold and strong as you followed behind her in suit. Chani walked up the the guard and the guard had a strong bold look. ¨who are you?¨ the guard asked. ¨chani¨ she replied, taking off the mask that covered her eyes. ¨freman¨ he muttered, he looked over chanis shoulder and saw you. ¨and you?¨ he questioned, ¨freman¨ you replied. He stepped aside and allowed you both to enter. Chani pushed the door open, coming inside and you followed.

You werent used to this, spending all your life living in a rock. The walls were long and you looked at them, wanting to touch them, study the whole place. But there was something else you wanted to see to, the love of your life. ¨y/n, im gonna try to find stilgar. Be safe¨ chani whispered to you. ¨chani, this is home. Everyone we know is here, this is family¨ you said with a smile on your face. ¨its been six years. Foundations couldve changed, family couldve changed. Who knows what paul did, y/n¨ she said stern. You nodded your heard and she did too, leaving you off to find the one you wanted to see do desperately.

You walked, the building was so silent that you could hear your own footsteps, sand fell off your shoes as you walked, leaving a trail. A smile played on your lips as you walked throught the halls, checking every door, seeing your people. You asked them, ¨wheres paul?¨ in return they smiled, ¨not so sure. I dont even know where his room is at. Maybe check the throne room. Honestly, i havent seen him in a long time, y/n¨ and you did, no one was there. You furrowed your eyebrows and continued to look through the rooms, paul just wasnt there. Your happiness sooned turn into sadness and insecurity. Tears were on the edge of brimming your eyes. You exiteded the castle and sat down, leaning against the wall. You held your knees up to your chest and put your head on your forearms.

Where is he? Wheres chani? This is his place he cant be impossible to find, can he? Why cant i find him? Wheres his wife? All these thoughts coursed through your head as you waited, you ended up falling asleep, outside.

¨y/n?¨ you heard. Your neck had a crane as you looked up. ¨y/n!¨ it was a voice you recognized, ¨why are you outside?¨ they laughed, you finally looked up after rubbing your eyes and it was stilgar. ¨stilgar!¨ you yelled, he came down to your level and hugged you. He laughed ¨look at you, all dirty¨ he wiped your face. ¨wheres paul?¨ you questioned, his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. This took you aback, ¨wheres paul? I was gonna ask you that¨ he mutters, wiping the dirt off of your cheek. You dropped his hand and looked at him with desperate eyes, ¨what-what do you mean?¨ you asked, desperate for an answer. ¨paul left 2 years ago, y/n. He said when he came back, he would come back with you¨” stilgar looks down as he reveals, you stood, paced, questioned. ¨he said he would wait for me- i….i dont understand! Stilgar¨ you let out a whine, trying to fight the tears. ¨where is he? Stilgar please, please!¨ you begged, dropping to your knees. Stilgar couldnt muster to come up with anything to say. In honesty, he mightve been more sad than you. The messiah is gone, lost. No where to be found. How could he find him? Where could he possibly be? Two years. Two. this was like heartbreak all over again. Before, you knew he was alive, but now. You know nothing. Should you go back? Is he still searching for you?

#timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet x reader #paul atredies x black!reader #paul atredies x reader #paul atreides #paul atredies smut #is that even a tag?#timothee chamalet x black!reader #timothee x you #timothee fanfic #timothee chamalet series #dune part 2 #SHIIWRITES⭐️

269 notes · View notes

tsukana · 5 months

Text

this is a vent post, from the pov of someone who does not main BBH and views his actions as an outsider who mains others on the island. this is tagged for neg and crit. i am NOT inviting bbh mains for their opinions on my post. thanks.

in my personal opinion. i am so incredibly done with whatever bbh's current lore 'arc' is rn that has him somehow canonizing in his opinion being on both purgatory and the island. to my knowledge, he's somehow split himself into two separate entities that have knowledge of the going ons?? and this isnt just limited to him as bagi, tubbo, and etoiles are all also doing it as well, but in my view he is the most culpable for actually causing 'canon' impacts on those still on the island NOT in purg2 despite that they were kidnapped.

i /extremely/ disagree with whatever justification he had on telling richarlyson and pomme yesterday they were at purgatory, while seemingly lighthearted going back and forth between quesadilla island and purgatory like its no issue. the implications of it?? does he realise that by doing this he's making it seem like its not a big deal to get back to the island and that those left behind like cellbit and baghera are voluntarily doing so and abandoning their kid and making an active choice?? when just today he came back during an intermission for 1v1s during the purgatory event and IMMEDIATELY started talking about purgatory and said to sunny "i saw your dad today!" as if sunny and tubbo didnt have an entire sad goodbye scene (which they did justify as canon, no matter my own opinion on that matter which i wont get into). but like. i understand that the admins have said that the players can choose whether or not purgatory 2 is canon to their lore or not. and more eloquent people than i have explained reasonings that i agree with on why i don't think that's a good idea for keeping a cohesive main plot between everyone- but. i think if theyre going to be in purgatory and make purgatory /canon to their lore/ that should have consequences and effects and like if they were able to that easily go back and forth from purgatory which has been CONFIRMED THE SAME ISLAND AS THE FIRST ONE, why was the first purgatory even a big deal at all. it completely retcons the importance of it to everyones lore as a side effect.

i think if the purg2 players decide that purg2 isnt canon for them and come back to the island to hang out and chill, good for them and i hope their lore conforms with that! but if youve decided that purg2 is CANON to their lore that should have an appropriate impact, and by implying its so such a simple thing to go to and from purgatory, it's completely minimizing the actual effect it would have on his own lore and the lore of others that have chosen to canonize. i dont begrudge them for logging back onto the main server to hang with friends, but does that make sense that your character would have full knowledge of whats happened in whats supposed to be an emotionally draining isolated island???

that last paragraph was supposed to be a tldr but i kept going. real tldr; if players decide purg2 isnt canon to them power to them. if it IS canon, then anything from the island should NOT be brought up in an rp conversation on the main island later on until purg2 is over??

#tsu talks #tsu rants #bbh neg #qsmp crit #qsmp discourse #bbh crit #im just. so fucking tired and frustrated.#qsmp

68 notes · View notes

kitochiart · 7 months

Text

Here are my guys from yesterday! i made a little ref for their patterns and such. PLEASE avert your eyes from the backwards legs... past me did not have it in them to redraw it properly... its still old art so there are stuff that could be better but oh well

Knox he is the leader of the squad. He was made before the others, so he has more experience under his belt. He is also soo grumpy all the time. Has constant headaches from the stress and the others (Bugs especially)

I am putting a read more for the others bc it will be too long of a post

Jawz! He is second in command. Besides Knox he is the one who suffers the most from the tomfoolery the others get into. Also a bit too petty to not get into a fight with Bugs all the time. He likes to snipe best. He broke his jaws first mission while he was looking through the scoop and fell (loser lol) and thats where he got his name

Bugs.. local troublemaker. Biggest pain in the butt, his fave hobby is to annoy Jawz at all times. He always gets creative with his strategies and fights and half the time he needs to be rescued. On Kamino he always bugged his trainer, and he was called out on it and so his name was born..

Exo is the local smarts and tech guy. Chillest mf on earth with the coolest mullet out there. He is the peace maker if there is a fight in the squad. He is also closest to Tanner, they are kind of two peas brothers in a pod. I forgot why past me gave him the kpop name but i am sure i had a reason

Tanner!!! He sleeps 24/7 if he can. He also has a short attention span so he will ask abt the mission at least two times. Secretly third in command bc he is the wisest and handles dire situations the best. Also he is the heavy lifter in the squad, ready to carry anything (and then ready to sleep that off). Past me also didnt finish his face on the full-body drawing so he gets only 1 image... sad...

#star wars #clone wars #clone #clone troopers #clone trooper #oc #cloneoc #starwarsoc #kitochi_art #myart

25 notes · View notes

iwanttofuckereh69 · 8 months

Text

now reading: 2ha vol 3

i finished it yesterday yay!

1. SHI MEI HAS WATER ELEMENT. I KNEW IT. I love it how it is kinda easy to miss, because Mo Ran doesn't mention it right away. It is said only several chapters later and probably if i werent making these posts and i wouldn't pay attention, it could easily fly over my head. But like... I still don't think that person at the end of vol 2 was Shi Mei. Would he really get reborn just to get that dick xD Given that the person really was reborn. Idk idk.

2. if you thought Shi Mei was my most problematic fave, im here to tell you i also adore Rong Jiu :))) I was interested in the bitch since the beginning but i didnt know he would show up again! And i was really sad when it turned out he died. And then i was even more sad because his story is ehhh AND THEN i checked out him in the manhua and he is so Jut Lung (banana fish) coded. No wonder i love him. But also he is so awful and annoying oh god. I still hope he will show up again to stir up some drama

3. and tbh shi mei annoyed me a bit. Bestie, fishing for Mo Ran's attention while CWN quite literally died and MR is obviously not well? And then he was weird in that scene with the soul catching lanterns, he never really said he is ready to go after CWN like the others and i was convinced he's gonna drop that lantern after all. Now tell me, am i just noticing it now and he was always weird or does it only start to show up in the later chapters?

3. CHU WANNING MADE WONTONS

its pretty surprising given his absolute failure at cooking the cabbage tofu something because the result would make Xie Lian proud. Like i said in the other post tho: "now i want to know if shi mei was deliberately doing all the other things to make mo ran fall for him or was he just there chilling and the guy just fell for him out of nowhere and misinterpreted everything like he does".

ALSO OH SHIT now it makes sense Shi Mei didn't make him wontons after CWN died. When I read that i was like huh, why not wontons, that would surely cheer him up more, but i totally ignored that thinking nothing of it. And literally only writing this post i realized. Makes me wonder how many other details i missed that paint the bigger picture. Ahhh i just love when books do that.

4. speaking of not thinking: i didn't realize before that Mo Ran's mom was courtesan. I don't know why, i really don't.

5. overall there is more questions than there is answers. At least its now clear what happened in Mo Ran's previous lifetime and why CWN couldn't save Shi Mei. But why the events are so different now? AND WILL IT REALLY TAKE CWN 5 YEARS TO COME BACK

#2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #erha spoilers #2ha spoilers #now reading: 2ha #its a quick recap sorry if the writing is weird im in a hurry lol and eng is not my first language so brain sometimes does some weird shit

33 notes · View notes

witchinatree · 4 months

Text

ok listen i finished outer wilds yesterday (and just replayed the ending for good measure)

**SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING (OBVIOUSLY)** please note i do NOT have the completed ship log and i dont know what im missing so be cautious around spoilers?? i guess?? idk if i get spoiled its kinda my bad for posting about outer wilds

anyway!! my girlfriend was like "wow you didnt have an emotional reaction like at all" and 1. no i was tearing up and am still tearing up rn but 2. because i don't think it was that sad? yes, everyone dying and the sun exploding and shit just getting fucking real was tragic but it was also a new beginning

all of those stars we saw were new beginnings, hell even hearthians themselves were once new beginnings i don't see this game as a tragedy i see it as a cycle of ends and beginnings like the cycle of repeatedly being blown up by the sun, except it wasn't permanent, so new life couldn't build from the pain we endured (i have roughly 158 loops worth of gameplay. christ.) in order to have a beginning you have to have an end i remember thinking my goal was to prevent the sun from exploding, but ultimately that wasn't possible our only option was to accept our fate and prepare for what comes next things have to die for more things to live and it just so happened it was our turn to die (hey yttd reference)

anyway the point i'm making is i think this game was incredible, stunning, beautiful, and an important depiction of the real permanence of our existence one day will be our end, but that will create a new beginning, we just won't be there to see it

#sorry i love this game like so much #my girlfriend bought it for me and i was like ooh cool space game and then bam the cycle of creation and destruction #and i was like holy shit #the cycle of creation and destruction #i think its devestating that hearthians died and i think its devestating that humans will die but there will be an after #i think we need to start seeing “i will die but the universe will still exist after me” as a positive thing #your end will be another's beginning #jesus fucking christ #sorry i did not mean to get that deep #outer wilds #outer wilds spoilers #outer wilds game #also should i get the DLC?????#i shit myself over anglerfish a lot and my girlfriend said its worse #can we get a “my girlfriend” counter on this post good lord

12 notes · View notes

cloudcountry · 9 months

Text

Okay Get Ready i have like 355382638 screenshots of shakespeares route because i. have been so busy and i haven't been able to post anything AND I EVEN MISSED ALL MY ROUTES YESTERDAY HELP

okay...i didn't realize we were starting this far back....um so yeah!!!!

BOOOOO STOP PLAYING THE VILLAIN ROLE I KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING. YOURE PUTTING ON A VILLAINOUS FRONT TO PROTECT YOURSELF. BULL SHIT!!!!!

OH SHIT??? that's why shakespeare was with robert. hm!! interesting.

I KNEW YHAT ALREADY KEEP UP SHAKEY BOY.

WAOT WHAT shut up you don't mean that :T you're literally such a liar LMAOOOO you're not lying about comte though he'd beat ASS

OKAY OW THAT ACTUALLY HURT NY FEELINGS A LITTKE :(((( WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN HELLO WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU???

still....if vincent is friends with him there's no way he's terrible.

HE SLIPPED IT WHERE.

LOVES HOT FURY.?? DIDNT YOU JUST SAY YOU HATED ME??? AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LOVONG YOU WHAT

?!?!? COMTE :(((( HES SO PROTECTIVE ITS SO SWEET,,,,, IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME A LIL SAD

HE IS A FINE DANCER AND HE WOULD JAVE BEEN FINER IF HE DIDNT KNOCK ME OUT AND KIDNAP ME BUT OK!!!!

girl i don't think...hes going to :C

ughhhh them caring about my safety will ALWAYS get me. ALWAYS. it's such. a punch in the gut IN A GOOD WAY.

......WHY IS HE SO CRYPTIC. JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN YOU SILLY ACTOR. YOU WANNA DANCE FOR ME HUH? YOU WANT TO SING A LITTLE SONG??? THIS ISNT A STAGE YOU KNUCKLEHEAD (i care about you please tell me if something's wrong :C)

i love how she's like "FUCK he smells nice >:T AND he knows my tastes >:T shut the FUCK up will."

HEY?? JWHDJWBJDJE WHAT?!?!??!? HOLD ON WHAT. HOLD ON. GIRLIE....DID YOU THINK TJIS THROUGH

WHAT EFYJ FUCKN?!???!!! HELLO EXCUSE ME?!??? WJY WAS THAT ATTRACTIVE WHAT THE FUCK I DONT WANT TO LEARN ABOUT MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

I HAYE THIS I HAYE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

i can practically hear every person in the mansion screaming in agony....

I DONT WANT TO GO PLEASE PELASE DONT MAKE ME GO PLEASE DHHEHXHJSBXJD I DONT WANT TO I HATE THISSSSSSS SPLEASE CAN I STAY I DONT WANT TO GI

NOOOO TRUST ME THEO I DIDNT WANT TO HURT HIM :((( I HATE THIS I CANT BELIEVE WE JUST HURT VINCENT I WANT TO BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL

DAMN OKAY THEO WILL ISNT THAT BAD,,, why am i trying to defend him. BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH.

AWWWWWW ISAAC :((( IM SO SORRY SEBASTIAN LMAOOO YOURE SO SILLY I CANT HELP BUT GIGGLE ^^;

aww :C he cares :C i have no idea what the "rotza-" part means but i can infer what "gadvergamme" means ^^;

DAMN EVEN AFTER VINCENT YELLED AT HIM??? wait im actually so touched,,, that's so sweet of him. he respects his brother so much so for him to stand his ground even after vincent tells him to back off? wow.

WHAT THE FUCK WE JUST GOT HERE

SJGZHWHGSH WHY IS THIS CUTE TO ME IM NOT A CLOWN YOU IDIOT FIGHT ME

YEA LITERALLY CAN I BE YOUR HOUSEKEEPER INSTEAD???? AND WHY ARE WE SO CLOSE NOW????? THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING?????????

YVES??? IS THAT YOU???? CUPCAKE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!!!!!!!!

that's the image limit folks HOPEFULLY I'LL GET TO PART TWO TODAY ^^ !!!!

#auburn talks ikevamp <3 #ITS BEEN A MINUTE SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE AGSCAUVSHS

17 notes · View notes

expiationist · 8 months

Note

Hi there!! Personally I find your blog a lot cozier and more relatable than other immaculately laid out studyblr blogs. A lot of the others feel so polished and unrealtistic with their notes formatting and uber-aesthetic photos. This feels like it's run by a real person who just wants to share their education journey, and I personally find that much more comforting. It reminds me that as a college student, my notes don't have to be perfect and everything I post doesn't have to be robotically flawless. I can just share my life, and the right people will appreciate it. Anyways, keep doing what you're doing.

anon this is so sweet i am literally crying wtff

im glad u guys like my blog but also find it relatable as well, the whole goal is to kinda be a part of an online community that fosters inspiration and sometimes i feel like the 'inspiration' on here is just borderline unrealistic

i sometimes have the "no breaks allowed" mentality, but sometimes i will literally not do a single thing all day and i think finding balance is rlly important. i love the 100 days of productivity challenge but sometimes it makes me sad to see posts where the person is like i FAILED and have to START OVER because i took a day to REST. like,, getting up and making ur bed and washing a dish or two is still considered productivity. being a little disappointed in urself is understandable, i was feeling kinda shitty after i realized i sat in front of a computer for 10 hours yesterday but didnt do a single assignment. but today i did a little extra work on my scholarship essays to make up for what i didn't do yesterday, and i feel a lot better about it! balance.

it makes me really happy to know that me talking abt these things actually have an impact on some people, so thank u sooo so much for taking the time out of ur day to sen this to my inbox :) MWAH

#abi’s asks 🍒#abi speaks 🍒#study hard #but not too hard #studyblr #study aesthetic #study motivation #studyinspo #langblr #study blog #langblog #study tips #studying

9 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 3 days

Text

I am real real tired this evening. But I'm also in a pretty good mood. And apparently the northern lights might be visible tonight??? It will probably be to cloudy for us to a really see anything but just that it could happen is so interesting.

Today was a hard work day. Very hard work. I did not expect to be in the rain and mud as much as I was. Honestly it was nice to be so active. I didn't feel bored until the end of the day. Mainly I was having a good time.

I slept pretty well too. When I woke up I was happy and James was there and things were good.

We are pretty sure bread is making my stomach hurt. So I'm trying to limit that. James made me just eggs for breakfast and a baked potato for lunch. Which I ended up not eating anyway because they ordered us pizza. But I did try! I need to try harder to limit bread if this pain is going to keep happening.

I would get dressed and was ready to be outside. I wore my new rain boots which were excellent. And I think I did a pretty good job picking out the outfit for the work.

I would leave here after saying goodbye to James. And it was a fine drive in to camp. It wasn't raining when I left but started soon after. James would only get a little drizzled on. But it was actually raining by the time I got to camp.

When I got there I checked in with Heather by text. I would be alone at camp for an hour or so. I would drop off the mixers I picked up yesterday and then worked on setting up my tent. The feild was already muddy and would only get worse. But it was fine. My boots protected me.

I didnt wear my rain coat for a few hours though. It was just drizzling and I didn't mind being a little damp. But it would get worse.

I felt like I was go go go for like 5 hours. After my tent was set up I would go to the Alaskan to find the other tent. Which ended up being a little broken. Frustrating but I tried my best to make it work. I couldn't get it all the way set up and I was really mad but I wasn't able to do it alone. Sarah, her dad Steve, and Dachelle would come help me later on. The broken part made the canopy fill with water which of course spilled on me. Terrible. I was trying very hard to not be sad.

I would be okay though and would head to the office to dry off and get a sit break while I created an Instagram post for the vendor market and compose the last email I would send to everyone. Which I think went well. I had to do some trouble shooting with Heather's computer because the zip file was only downloading to her drive and not her computer?? So weird but we handled it.

I would go back out to move tables. Using my wagon. Which is very silly but I moved 4 of the 14 tables by myself!! It was raining a lot harder now. And was not fun to be out in.

I would have to go and switch out my table for a smaller one because the rain was dripping on the longer table and I didn't want to deal with that so I went and grabbed the folding table I have in the art building. And while it's smaller I think it works just fine.

I didn't set up all of my stuff. But I have a better handle on it and it'll be quick in the morning. It's not supposed to rain tomorrow so hopefully it will be a non-issue. I really really hope that is the case. It's going to be a 12 hour day and emotionally I don't know if I can deal with that and the rain. Don't even mention wind! I just need tomorrow to go smoothly.

We had talked about merch for the puhtok table so I went back to the Alaskans (I would go up like 6 different times today) and found the box of mugs, fanny packs, backpacks, and ponchos. And I think they will sell really well. I would count out everything for Heather so we can keep track and I made a nice little poster so it'll be easy to buy things. I am excited to see it all come together.

I made my way to the lodge to drop off some small trash cans and ran into one of the friends of Puhtok (called FOP) (one of the volunteer organizations that helps with events and fundraising) who was unloading stuff. I offered to help but then realized that this stuff was for sure for the trading post. So after calling Alexi to double check we moved everything up there and that lead to me helping Heather direct traffic as some of our food trucks showed up and the beer truck. And it was a flurry of activity. I did my best to help with FOP and making decisions but I also felt a little. Unsure about everything. It's hard when everyone has an idea about how things should go. I tried to be like "hey this is how I think we should do this" but you know. Can't always be my ideas. Not that I want it to be.

But I always feel heard with Heather and that is nice.

I would make a few more drives to the Alaskan for basement stuff. And then they ordered us pizza. I was thrilled. I should have just had one piece but I didn't listen to my body and my stomach hurts again. I tried to sip water and just be alright. I would do some more computer tasks. And after a little break I would go to the lodge to clean coolers.

I was a little overwhelmed by the list of things that need to be done before the festival opens at noon. Volunteers are arriving at 930 so I am hoping it just comes together and is seamless. I had set up the square readers for credit cards. And things seems to be going really well with those. I just hope we can continue that trend.

I would clean 10 coolers. My hands were really dried out from the sanitizer that we have. And my fingers were already cracked in spots so it was kind of painful. Still is. I have been trying very hard to take care of my cuticles but I still have issues. My poor thumb is a disaster right now and very painful. I'm going to end up with bandaids on all my fingers again I swear.

I would check in at the office before I left. Chatted with Lou. Made sure there was nothing else they needed from me specifically and went over the plan for the morning with Heather. And then I was off.

I was covered in mud. So tired. And so ready to go home.

The drive home was tough but mostly because there was just tomfoolery on the road. Including a cop car just getting smashed in the intersection I have to take to go home. I would figure out a solution and only added a couple minutes to my drive.

When I got back here, after hugging Sweetp, I went and took a shower. I put on comfy clothes. And when I came downstairs James was just getting home. And made a big fuss about how pretty I was. And would go get changed.

We would talk about the market tomorrow. I needed a way to display my pins and James would lend me a baseball flag. And with that solved we would get on the couch to hang out. I played my video game. They edited their podcast. It was a really nice evening.

Eventually my head started to hurt from playing the game. And I would pass it over to James to play for a little. And now I am upstairs. James is checking on the clouds to see if we can see any of the northern lights. But I don't have high hopes well actually see anything. That is okay. I just like that it is happening. It's neat.

Tomorrow is the Monkton Music Festival! I really hope it is a good day. I don't even really care about my sales, I just want everyone else to do well. And I hope we get a lot of walk ups so that camp can raise more money.

So wish us luck. I love you all. Goodnight!

2 notes · View notes

philtstone · 2 years

Text

but not alone

in a shocking twist i really was able to finish this on time for it to be a birthday gift to myself lmao -- done with 2 minutes on the clock

some background: i watched "why didn't they ask evans?", remembered i adored agatha christie novels, and immediately had to try writing this. depending on what you guys think and my Life schedule i may write part 2 because the potential latter half of this plot is so fun it really deserves to see the light of day -- but anyway. The Premise: bucky didnt fall off the train, steve still sacrificed himself, and a whole lot of characters were born multiple decades earlier than in canon. a big thank you to @firstelevens and @parlegee for their emotional support and plotting help and also to @flyinghome-againstthewind for their lovely encouragement and enthusiasm re the fic concept! i wrote more, as promised, and here it is!

the title is from fellowship of the ring because i am insufferable, and every little comment and kudos makes my year

Summary: After the weird-looking carpet cleaner has whistled three times the man says,

“You don’t look like a German spy,” muttered, like he’s really thinkin’ about it.

“Seriously?” splutters Sam. He says this so forcefully that the other guy has the nerve to look a little offended. But now, come on – come on, Sam thinks. It’s a fair question. Only Sam’s been having a really difficult forty-eight hours, so he doesn’t appreciate it.

It’s here that something big and important feeling clicks in Sam’s head. He’s seen that scowl before – just yesterday, ignoring poor Miss Dollie.

And just this morning, in the papers plastered all over his motel lobby.

“Oh,” says Sam, “you gotta be kidding me.”

But alas, there’s no kidding to be had.

“From the paper – they think you killed him, man!”

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes pales three shades under what little tan he has, but otherwise doesn’t react.

OR: Sam, Bucky, and a Post-War murder mystery that demands the power of friendship.

Excerpt:

The thing about Peggy is that she understands him, which is just a bitch and a half sometimes.

“You threw the weapon out.”

She’s repeating this, flatly, but with enough inflection that Bucky comprehends the are you perhaps a massive idiot implied therein. Peg would say it like that too — use perhaps and massive and arch her eyebrows.

Bucky presses his hands harder where they’re clutched at his temples and grimaces. “Look, I wasn’t thinking clearly, alright?”

“James.”

James, full name, not Jim like when she’s being chummy and of course Agent Margaret Carter of His Majesty’s Royal Service never quite got around to following Steve’s lead on the Bucky front. Bucky grimaces harder. Peggy will stare and be sardonic and, God help him suspicious until he explains.

“I dunno what you want me to say, Peg – it was there in the drawer and I couldn’t bear lookin’ at it anymore.”

Her resultant expression is just a touch too understanding for his taste.

“How the hell would I know that tossing a Colt into the Hudson in the middle of the night would get Howard killed?” Bucky adds, to move past it.

Minutely as possible Peggy flinches. Balls of steel, he’s always said. The other guys thought the same, but none of them had the guts to say it aloud. Speaking of other guys –

“Dugan’s coming over.”

“Like hell he is,” Bucky says.

Peggy takes an elegant drag of her cigarette. She’s sitting at the dull brown edge of his made-up bed and being careful enough that the ashes don’t spill. What difference that’ll make Bucky’s not sure. His apartment’s the definition of sad. Becca nearly cried last week when she visited, but then instead of crying yelled at him ‘til he relented and got a pillow.

“Evidently,” says Peggy, still on the topic of Dum-Dum, “he has not considered the double agent angle. His wife made you casserole.”

“Mm,” says Bucky, grim. He walks over to his meager kitchen, pulls a dusty bottle out from the cabinet and unscrews it. “Gonna get him killed one of these days.”

“Given my ongoing conviction that you are not in fact a spy –”

“Jury’s out on you though,” Bucky says, raising the bottle at her.

“-- you do realize that you are a prime suspect in the murder of our close personal friend.” She blows out. “If we can’t rely on our comrades, we’re rather fucked.”

“I am, you mean.”

Her mouth turns mulish and she looks away to the window then back. Maybe she did mean we, lumping the two of them under the tarp of some morbid umbrella. Steve’s dead and gone and sacrificed nobly, isn’t he.

“You didn’t kill Howard and he didn’t damn well kill himself,” says Peggy, steely. “I’d like to know which bastard did.”

Read More on ao3

#my writing #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #the first avenger #agent carter #peggy carter #sarah wilson #howard stark #dum dum dugan #rebecca barnes #marvel #murder mystery au!!#tfatws fic #sam x bucky #sam x sarah #peggy x bucky #all platonic tho; this is a gen fic

28 notes · View notes

mo0nl0v3r · 1 year

Text

th!nspo challenge ;

NOTE : I'm only gonna update this on this tab cause I don't want my other posts to get lost in this series thing... also my stats are already uploaded so imma start on day 2 :) NOT PRO

DAY 2 : i'm 5'2.... i do like my height sometimes i wish i was taller so i could present as thinner but its not one of my biggest problems

DAY 3 : I have a Pinterest board that I love its called tattoo inspo (I made it with a bunch of ballet & hour-class grunge girls in it. I named it tattoo inspo so it doesn't present weird cause it sounds like thinspo plus I can put skinny people with dope tattoos in

DAY 4: my greatest fear is that I'm gonna look sick or lose hair that's terrifying to me

DAY 5: I'm doing it for myself but the praise doesn't hurt :) also the way i could wear anything and look good sounds amazing

DAY 6 : sometimes nothing crazy but occasionally do slip up and eat a couple unhealthy things

DAY 7 : my parents do know that i try to eat healthy and that i "occasionally" count calories and try to lose weight . They think its a good thing

DAY 8 : i dont have one yet i just try to do as many crunches and sit-ups i can and i try to walk at least 1 mile a day

DAY 9 : I don't know honestly , sometimes i think they do but they've never said it to my face .

DAY 10 : freedom tbh

DAY 11 : @green-tea-111 i love there thinspo

DAY 12 : i usualy eat whatever i want but at a restriction

DAY 13 : I'm losing weight in both a healthy way and a unhealthy way because its not the point where its bad for my body but it can take a tole on my mental health sometimes

DAY 14 : My UGW is 102lb i really wanna get down there cause that would not only mean I would be like skinny but it would get my BMI down to 18.5 and thats the minimum healthy BMI. so def ideal

DAY 15: i am not vegan or vegetarian... i did try it a couple years ago and i actually gained weight cause i would only eat carbs so def didn't work for me

DAY 16: well literally for as long as i can remember probably around age 10 or 11 but most recent decision to lose weight was back in September of this year

DAY 17: I do have disorded eating

day 18: pasta , gordita tortillas , chocolate , chips , candy , ice cream , ritz crackers

DAY 19: tbh yesterday i had a happy meal

DAY 20: calorie counting or portioned eating cause diets are really hard for me

DAY 21 :

pants : medium or size 10

shirts : medium (but i prefer baggier stuff)

DAY 22: 7 pounds at birth ;) no but actually 100 pounds it was in 2019 i was in dance and i would dance 3-5hours a day and i did have distordered eating at the time and i gained due to my depression and binging

DAY 23 : a little... it didnt start it but it definitely helped

DAY 24: im not pro ana and i am definitely not pro mia, bulimia tears you apart so quickly its just sad especially when you do research on how it effects your body and how it only deteriorates you instead of making you thinner

DAY 25: i have unfortunately, it was rough i did it on occasion for about 2 weeks before i decided to do research and decided it wasnt for me

DAY 26: Wearing whatever i want and being less insecure. I cant wait till im skinny so i can just be happy with whatever i wear

DAY 27: I’m cool with food being infront of me I usually struggle most with it when its late or im alone cause thats when i tend to eat the most

DAY 28: It would be cool but its not what i want most i really want thinner arms and a tiny waist

DAY 29: unfortunately its mostly western beauty standards ( im part mexican and have very mexican features ) so its rough when i want the hour glass waist and a slope nose cause my body just hasn’t been able to do that

DAY 30: 10 facts about me

10:

#pro ana #th!nspo #tw ed relapse #ed trigger warning #ed rant

10 notes · View notes

bbarican · 11 months

Text

june 04, 2023; 8:46 pm - should we just keep driving?

hi tumblr! how are you guys doing? how was everyone’s weekend? ako, im ready to talk about my date yesterday so if youre bored and you wanna join me in dissecting the events of yesterday’s date then please feel free to read along

we met up in coffee academics and it felt almost nostalgic seeing him again? kasi the last time we saw each other was early 2022 and alot has happened since then and i ultimately felt like “im so glad he’s meeting this version of myself naman”

it was really fun, like it was so good to remember how fun it actually is whenever we’re together; ang ingay niya, pero ako rin, tapos ang kulit namin saka ang gulo ng mga topics namin and i enjoyed every single bit of it, we talked about serious stuff as in we really wanted to know kung anong nagbago samin and also we were talking about aliens and weird stuff like that basta tawa kami ng tawa

he was nice enough to go with me to atc to buy food for my family and back to molito again kasi he was parked there

we ended up hanging out a bit sa car niya for a bit in the same parking spot just talking and listening to music and eventually thinking of somewhere else to go kasi nga we didnt want to go home pa naman; he also asked if i still remember the name he gave his car and ofcourse i still remembered it and i dont think im ever gonna not remember it

we ended up going to a more quiet parking spot away from the malls and just remembering everything now is making me emotional?

he opened up the back door of his car (the type na paside yung open ng door) and we just talked - we talked for hours as in we were there from siguro 7 pm to 11 pm just talking

okay so ofcourse there was some flirting and i loved every bit of it and he was really touchy which i really loved too pero the fact na he initiated converstations really had me feeling really good and fuzzy inside? i was telling my bestfriends na it felt so refreshing to just talk to someone about everything and anything after months of just keeping everything to myself

we laughed lot - i cant explain why or how but this is so important to me, and i think im craving this more than sex?

we did end up making out but again that was just the cherry on top of everything else just being so good

but there are things na i got to take away from my our date last night which i guess would help me from putting a label on how im feeling right now:

he isnt really looking into dating seriously so thats the catch, and tbh i dont know if he ever will be and if im even going to be on his list of people he would even want to consider dating?

with that being said, and i actually told him this din - i actually dont have enough time and energy to wait around for him or for anyone who would be similar to him

kaya ang sakin lang is - im just glad i got to show him who i really am and i hope thats enough for him to see what he could lose if he does end up not pursuing me

im glad na i also got to show him who i am genuinely and im also glad na atleast now, i really know what i want in a relationship

it wouldve been nice if siya yung person na makukuha ko, but atleast he was the one to show me na it is possibe to have the type of relationship na im looking for and that hopefully it will just take some time before i get to have that experience for real and for good

im a bit sad now kasi nga this just proves na stuff like this always and will always rarely happen to me nalang, but im still trying to be as patient and hopefully as i can be

so yeah - i wouldnt say na back to zero ako, but im just glad na everything happened the way it did; its weird too kasi in coffee academics, the neone sign beside me literally stated “youre exactly where you need to be” and i knew that meant something kaaagd

if youve made it to the end of my post, thank you for reading along. ikaw, what do you think? id love to hear your thoughts (tbh just so i stop thinking about all of this) but also id love the company cause everything feels really bittersweet right now

but yeah - i hope the evening goes well for all of us; we all deserve to rest before conquering another week

#bbarican #personal #thoughts #writings #life #love #rant #dump #update #date #dating #love life

6 notes · View notes

heart-of-the-party · 1 year

Text

we actually finished a lot of post-hw content yesterday, lemme try to summarize (things might be not in order because i am just going off memory)-

- KRILE IS SUPER CUTE (also idk why her name was localized as krile while in japanese they call her kururu (i am not gonna google this tho, dont want spoilers) the jp name makes sense lore-wise because i think that’s how lalafell naming convention works)

- i deeply enjoy the alphinaud teasing. it’s very funny.

- THANCRED!!! ngl i love his new look though tbf i also thought he had aged.

- I ACTUALLY GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN WE SEE THE WARRIOR(S?) OF DARKNESS

- my friend and i were in vc and we kept going omg omg it’s themmmmm, it’s us!!!!

- oh also one of the summoner quests was called “i could have tranced all night”, i kept reading it as “i could have THANCRED all night” and was like yeah sure :3c

- AYMERIC WHY DID YOU WALK AROUND WITHOUT A GUARD!! i knew he wouldn’t die, but for a moment i did get really worried if they were gonna off him :<

- I am glad tho that daddy fortemps or artoirel didnt get in the way and die u_u

- EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO THE ISHGARD THEME AT NIGHT OR THE DRAGONSONG MUSIC I GROW INCREDIBLY SAD (idk how will i get over both of them)

- WE GET A HAURCHIE MINION!!! and the knight of house fortemps title (with a shield that totally didnt make me emotional)!

- i like that the moment i summoned the minion, my friend and i simultaneously /pet it, like we didnt plan for it. we just did immediately. we just love him so much ;;A;;

- ALSO WHOA THE WHOLE SCENE WITH VIDOLFNIR SAVING THE GIRL WAS AWESOME

- I have to say tho the interaction was sweeter in japanese because the girl calls her shiroi dragon-san and when she thanks the dragon, vidolfnir tells her that her lifespan is short so she should treasure her life (or something to that extent) while in english she simply says youre welcome

- ALSO OMG AYMERIC INVITES YOU FOR A DRINK. idk how he sounds in english but i def felt like he was a bit flustered in japanese.

- man will we ever learn to not be suspicious of things, especially when we were told tensions are running high just before the peace meet at falcon’s nest?

- every time a random unnamed npc has a voiced scene, it feels like shit is about to go down (and it did).

- EMMANELLAIN NO!!! tbh i feel really bad for him. he’s never really been given responsibilities or reprimanded for crossing lines, he’s been coddled and ofc you cannot expect him to make good judgements under pressure. i felt like whatever happened next was pretty good. felt real. poor honoroit tho.

- MAYBE I READ IT WRONG BUT THANCRED IMPLIES THAT AYMERIC IS IN LOVE WITH YOU??? i need to go back and se this (unvoiced) line again.

- i am finally weaver level 47 (i think), i have unlocked some cool recipes but they probably require some crazy-ass ingredients smh.

well, that’s all i remember from yesterday. my sister is playing through hw now, so i ask her to guide me where haurchefant is standing in her game and i emote /hug and /blowkiss at him (or rather his ghost, since he isnt there for me), things i didnt do enough when he was around (which i deeply regret).

i am looking to join a fc but idk how to pick one since my timezone is quite different from usa lol.

#wow this was a long-ass post #i wish i made posts like this as i played hw though #oh well #ALSO HEY URIANGER IS DOING SOME SHADY-ASS STUFF #and i got a glimpse of alisaie's shoe #i know because i detest the twins' ARR shoes #thank halone for tataru's fashion sense

4 notes · View notes