#my vague answer is as long as it’s not too tiny it should be okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tiedyeflannels · 5 months

Text

Yours

Jin x reader

Word count: 4.4k

Blind Date(s): Intro

Main Masterlist

A/N: What up! Jin is the first one up for my Blind Date(s) mini series! This fic is a LOT of dialog because there's really not much to cooking so... Btw if you're curious about how Jin's ziti would taste, it's like Olive Garden's baked ziti, but WAY better because it's Kim Seokjin. Also thanks to @maple-leaves-in-the-wind for helping me come up with the overall plot of this fic! Anyway... I hope you enjoy!

While we were bickering about the topic, the sound of the doorbell stopped us dead in our tracks. I looked at her and then at the door and back at her before I huffed, standing up to open the door.

“We are not done with this conversation,” I told her once I reached the door.

Still a bit upset with Hari, I might have opened the door a little too aggressively, actively scaring the person on the other side who happened to be none other than the person we were just discussing about.

I was taken aback by his presence, but that didn’t last long as I felt a hand land on my shoulder.

“Oh, I think we’re done with this conversation,” Hari whispered in my ear.

I looked over at her angrily and was about to tell her off when Jin spoke.

“Is this a bad time, because I can come back later if you want?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Hari and I spoke at the same time.

“Would you give us a minute,” Hari asked while she shut the door before he could give his answer.

“Why is he here,” I whisper shouted, not wanting him to hear the mess that was going on on this side of the door.

“He’s here for your date,” she whispered back.

I shook my head, “No. No! Tell him to reschedule or you go on the date because I’m not doing it.”

“Can’t. This was the only day that worked for him and it’s also under your name so…”

I sighed as I started to walk away.

“Y/n, where are you going?”

“To my room. Tell him that I suddenly felt unwell or something,” I waved her off.

She took my wrist in her hand and spun me around before I could walk any further into the house.

“Y/n/n, I would be damned if I let you walk away from this fine looking man.”

She tugged on my arm making me move in front of the door as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

“Dude, nobody is expecting anything to come out of this. This isn’t even a real, high-stakes, date, okay? This is just you hanging out with a really good looking guy,” she insisted.

“Yeah, good looking and famous,” I muttered under my breath.

She smiled.

“Exactly! So just hang out with him for the day and you won’t have to do this ever again, okay?”

I nodded and sighed out a tiny breath.

“Fine. So, what are we doing today,” I asked, finally curious on what she planned.

“You both are going to have dinner here.”

“WHAT?!”

She manically laughed as she opened the door and shouted “Have fun” as she all but ran down the hall.

“Hari! Hari, come back here,” I shouted after her, but they fell on deaf ears as she continued to run away.

I huffed as I watched her round the corner and away from my line of sight.

“I’m guessing she sprung this on you, huh?”

I turned my head to find Jin still standing in front of my door. I rolled my eyes at Hari’s antics.

“I should be used to this with how often she does it, but nope. How long have you known about this anyway,” I asked, vaguely gesturing to the date.

He hummed in thought.

“Well, we were told about the winning bid a few days after the auction was over and we’ve been communicating with your friend, Hari, for a while… so I’ll say about a month, at least.”

“Of course…”

Hari was always the person you could count on for surprises. Which were usually a good thing if you wanted a surprise birthday or some other special occasion, but other times when she decided to leave details until the very last minute, like right now, they were a little less of a good thing.

While lost in thought I saw that he was holding a bag which brought me back to reality.

“Oh, I totally forgot my manners! Please come in,” I said, gesturing for him to come inside.

He gave me a polite smile and a small bow before walking inside.

“You can set your bag on the kitchen island,” I pointed.

“You can put your coat anywhere you’d like. And you’ll have to excuse the mess, I was just told about this date, like 25 minutes ago.”

He chuckled as I started to dart around in order to quickly tidy up a little bit.

“No worries! Your place is still cleaner than mine, so I don’t mind it being a little “messy”.”

I gave him a grateful smile as I slowed down on tidying up. I went to the kitchen when I remembered what Hari told me.

“Oh right! Hari said that we’re supposed to have dinner here, but I don’t have anything prepared, so are you okay with takeout,” I asked, picking up the glasses Hari and I had left on the table when Jin showed up.

He shook his head as he started to dig around in his bag, “Don’t worry about that. I’ll be making dinner.”

“Huh?”

Did I hear him right? Kim Seokjin is going to make dinner?

“Mhmm,” he nodded.

That didn’t answer anything as I was still confused and by the way he chuckled when he looked at me, I knew that my face was showing it.

"Your friend, Hari, right?”

I hummed in confirmation.

“Had donated a lot of money for this date and because of that, she was allowed to pick what the activity was for the date.”

I nodded along as I took in the information he was telling me while taking ingredients out of the bag.

He continued, “Of course it had to be within certain guidelines, but when she suggested eating out as a date I was quick to start asking questions.”

“What kind of questions? Were you skeptical or something,” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He chuckled, “No, nothing like that. More along the lines of if she had any allergies and what her preferred meal was, stuff like that.”

“Makes sense,” I shrugged, “some people have texture things or things they don’t like.”

“Right. So she said that Italian was the best bet when it came to a meal and also that you would prefer a home cooked meal.”

I hummed.

“That’s true, mainly because there aren’t that many Italian restaurants in a decent radius so I prefer to make it at home.”

Then a question popped in my head, “Wait, you said that she told you that I like home cooked meals.”

He nodded.

“Didn’t you think it was weird that she was planning this date for someone else?”

He hummed in thought before answering, “Originally, yes. A lot of people wouldn’t give up the chance to go on a date with us, right? So, I was surprised that she was giving it up for you, but I still went along with what she said because of how much she donated. Plus I think I’m a pretty good cook and I haven’t had much time to brush up on my skills, so when she suggested cooking, it was a no-brainer.”

I smiled and gave him a curt nod.

Having set out all of the ingredients while he was speaking, I started looking for some pans that he could use.

“What are we making,’ I asked as I placed some pots and pans on the counter for him to choose between.

He walked up to the counter and started to choose.

“Well, I’m making baked ziti,” he said, taking a pot and adding water in it before placing it on the stove to bring it to a boil.

“Baked ziti?! I haven’t had that in forever,” I exclaimed.

He looked at me and chuckled.

“Well then I made a good choice then, huh?”

I happily nodded as I looked at him. We looked at each other for a moment before I cleared my throat.

“Well, I guess I should start on the food,” he said, grabbing some of the vegetables and placing them next to the cutting board I had set out before I started looking for pans.

I moved over to the island and sat down on one of the stools.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help because I feel kind of guilty letting you do all of the work.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with doing all the work. Plus you might end up messing with my flow,” he teased.

“You have a flow?”

He shrugged and smiled, “Yeah, don’t all the best cooks have a flow?”

I shrugged, “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had many dinner dates with the “best” cooks.”

We looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. He turned around and started to wash the vegetables while chuckling.

“I really don’t have a problem with doing all the work, but if you want to help…”

He stopped washing the vegetables and turned to me with his hand on his chin as he hummed in thought.

“You can be my official taste tester!”

“Ooh~ I love that job,” I smiled.

Jin started making the sauce after cutting the vegetables and putting in the noodles to boil. It was basically a waiting game until the noodles softened, so we started some light banter. At some point, light banter had turned into an endless game of 20 questions to get to know more about each other.

We were having so much fun listening to each other’s stories, Jin forgot to turn down the heat for the sauce so when it started to bubble it was splashing everywhere.

As he was trying to turn down the heat on the stove some of it splashed on his arm which made him dramatically hold his arm and look between me and the sauce.

I couldn’t contain my laughter and burst into a fit of giggles at his overreaction.

“Are you laughing at my pain,” he dramatically gasped.

“No…” I said between giggles.

“I think you are!”

I calmed down, wiping the tears that escaped from my eyes while sighing.

“It’s not my fault that you dramatically got hurt.”

He huffed.

“I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you put out a lid to use,” he looked at me accusingly.

“I did. It’s right there,” I said, pointing to the lid sitting to the left of the stove, next to the pan.

He followed where I was pointing and stared at the lid for a moment before uttering a small “oh”.

I broke out into another fit of giggles as he continued to look at the lid.

Once he broke out of his reverie, he checked the noodles and carefully drained the water. He gathered the baking pan along with all the remaining ingredients that were on the island and lined them up before assembling everything in the pan.

“Y/n, is the ricotta over there,” Jin asked, looking over his shoulder at me.

I looked around the table for a package that says “ricotta”, but ultimately found nothing.

“Not on the table. Maybe in your bag,” I suggested.

He nodded to let me know that it was okay to dig through his bag and when I did…

“Nothing.”

He sighed as I looked at him. He turned around to face me.

“You wouldn’t have any ricotta by any chance, would you?”

I shook my head.

“Nope, ricotta cheese is not something I put in my everyday diet.”

He sighed as he thought.

“Okay, well then I’ll head over to the store to get some.”

“No, I can go,” I said, getting up from my seat.

“No, I’ll go. You wouldn’t know which kind I need.”

I crossed my arms, “And you wouldn’t know where the only store that sells ricotta is.”

He mirrored me by crossing his arms and sighed before a smile grew on his lips.

“Sounds like we need each other, so let’s go together.”

I smiled and nodded, “Sounds good! You cover all of that up for when we come back, I’ll grab my jacket and bag, and then we can head out.”

He nodded as I went to get my jacket and bag from the hook next to the door and put them on as he walked over, already in his jacket and scarf.

“Ready?”

He nodded.

I grabbed the keys from my bag and opened the door.

“Alright, let’s go!”

“Ta-da,” I cheered as we stepped inside the store.

It was a little grocery store that was tucked away in a downhill alley. Not many people came to this store seeing as it was hidden away and people had to walk for a while to get to it, but what made it interesting was that it sold a lot of items that you usually couldn’t find in a regular convenience store.

I came here once as a last resort for a specific ingredient and lo and behold, they had it so I always made sure to come here first for anything I needed which in time made me a regular to…

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Mrs. Cho, a 76 year old woman who might seem intimidating at first, but is the sweetest lady I’ve ever met.

I smiled as she rounded the corner.

“Mrs. Cho, how have you been,” I asked as she pulled me in for a hug.

“It’s been too long, my dear,” she said as she pulled back and smiled at me.

Then her gaze shifted from me to Jin.

She smirked, “And who is this tall and handsome young man?!”

He chuckled and bowed, “My name is Kim Seokjin, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her smile got wider as she looked back at me.

“Handsome AND respectful! You really know how to pick them.”

I blushed as I rolled my eyes and lightly shook my head, “We’re not dating, we’re just here to get something. Speaking of, do you have any ricotta cheese?”

“Ricotta cheese,” she asked as I nodded.

“It should be in fridges at the back, second one from the right.”

She pointed in that direction. I asked Jin if he could go get one, to which he nodded and left. Mrs. Cho pulled me over to the register, where, once behind it, pulled up a chair while I leaned on the counter.

“So… when did this happen?”

“What? Me and Jin,” I asked as I pointed behind me in his general direction.

She nodded.

“It’s a long story, but I promise we are not dating. We literally met today.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Well something must have happened because there’s something special in the way he looks at you.”

I lightly scoffed, “There’s no way you’re seeing it right and don’t forget that I said that we just met today."

She leaned her elbows on the counter.

“Listen, I may be old, but I’m not blind… yet and I can see that you two have something. Don’t forget of a little thing called “love at first sight”, maybe you two have it,” she smiled.

I was about to argue with the notion, but was stopped short as Jin stopped at the counter, placing the ricotta on the counter. “

Thank you for getting that,” I said.

He nodded.

“Did we need anything else or did you want to get something,” I asked.

He shook his head, “Nope, I think I’m good. Did you want something, though?”

I hummed as I looked around the store finding where my snacks sit, but ultimately decided against it as I shook my head, “Nope, I’ll be okay.”

I pushed the cheese forward on the counter and Mrs. Cho rang it up as I pulled out my wallet. I paid as she put the cheese in a small bag before we started to make our way out. I was about to say bye when something caught my eye.

“I didn’t know you sold flowers,” I said, turning to Mrs. Cho.

She smiled, “I just ordered them. I thought they would brighten up the place.”

I smiled as I looked at them, “They look lovely. Anyway, we’ll be heading out now. Bye, I’ll see you soon!”

I waved at her as she did the same.

“Take care, dear.”

I nodded before Jin and I headed out.

We had walked for a few minutes when Jin suddenly stopped. I continued to walk until I realized that he was no longer by my side, so I stopped and turned around.

“What wrong,” I questioned.

“I forgot to get something. Is it okay if I go back for it?”

I nodded, “Of course! Do you want me to go with you?”

He shook his head while taking a few slow steps back.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be right back,” he said as he jogged in the direction we just came from.

I sighed as I looked around for a place to sit while I waited for Jin to come back. My eyes landed on a bench a little bit away, near some trees and I decided to walk over to it. I dusted off the thin layer of snow that had collected on the bench before sitting down.

It was lightly snowing and luckily there wasn’t any wind so I wasn’t completely freezing my butt off, and although sitting out in the snow wasn’t exactly ideal, it was peaceful. It was quiet except for the occasional crunch of snow from passersby or children laughing off in the distance.

It wasn’t too long, though, before I saw Jin jog by. I chuckled as I watched him stop abruptly and look around. I stood up and walked over to him.

“I thought I lost you,” he sighed in relief.

I lightly shook my head with a smile, “Nope, still here.”

I looked at the bag in his hands. “What did you get?”

He muttered a small ‘right’ as he reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle.

“I saw this wine as I was walking through the store while you were talking Mrs. Cho and I thought it sounded good and would pair nicely with what we’re having, so I went back to get it.”

I hummed as I looked at the label, Chianti, a rustic Italian red wine.

“You’re quite the wine connoisseur, huh?”

He proudly nodded, “I might have some knowledge.”

I smiled as I looked at the bag and then back at Jin.

“Did you get anything else,” I asked as he put the wine back in the bag and some crunching could be heard.

“I may have also got a few snacks for myself,” he smiled as he avoided eye contact.

I laughed at his silliness. “Okay, let’s get going, Mr. Wine Connoisseur.”

He chuckled as we started to walk back to the apartment.

The only way I could describe the time we spent walking so far would be, peaceful. We weren’t talking, but there was never an uncomfortable air that surrounded us that made us want to break it. It felt nice walking with Jin.

Peaceful.

While walking, I was looking around at the scenery when my gaze fell upon a few kids having fun, making a snowman. I smiled at the sight.

Jin must’ve followed what I was looking at because he stopped and spoke up.

“Y/n.”

I hummed and stopped walking to look at him.

“Where does a snowman get the weather report?”

I closed my eyes and sighed.

“Oh no…”

“The winternet!”

I facepalmed at the joke while he started laughing.I shook my head as I started to walk off.

“Dad jokes? Really.” He nodded while he caught up to me.

“Yep, it’s my speciality!”

I glanced at him, “You seem to have a lot of specialities.”

He shrugged, “What can I say, there’s a lot of things I’m good at.”

I playfully scoffed as he smiled at me.

“Okay, what do you call it when a snowman ignores you?” I just looked at him, waiting for the answer.

“The cold shoulder!”

I slightly chuckled as I rolled my eyes, “Oh my gosh, I’m going to give you the cold shoulder!”

“Hey, but that one got a laugh out of you!”

“It was more of a scoff because it was ridiculous!”

He smiled and hurried to stand in front of me, effectively stopping me from walking further.

“Okay okay okay! Last one I swear!”

I nodded for him to continue. “Okay. What can you catch in winter, even with your eyes closed?”

I stared at him for a moment before I gave in. “What?”

He smirked and before I knew what was happening he had draped a scarf behind my neck and stepped closer to me so that we were inches apart.

“A cold,” he said as he brought his face closer to mine.

I felt a flare of heat rise to cheeks at Jin’s proximity and when I backed up to put some distance between us, but I must’ve stepped on some ice because I felt myself starting to fall backwards. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for when I hit the ground, but it never happened.

Instead, I felt a tight grip around my torso and when I opened my eyes, Jin’s face was centimeters away from mine.

His eyes held concern as he looked me over.

“Are you okay?” I stared at him for a moment, a little shaken up, but nodded anyway when he looked at me again. He let out a sigh of relief as he helped me stand up.

I coughed slightly, “Um, we should probably be getting back.”

He let the arm that was wrapped around my torso drop to his side as he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s get going,” he said as he started walking.

Once we got home, Jin set his bag down and got to work on preheating the oven and assembling the ingredients. I started setting up the table by grabbing plates and utensils and laying them opposite of each other.

It wasn’t a big table since it was only really only me- and sometimes Hari- who ate here so I didn’t feel the need to buy a big dining table when I moved in.

As I was almost done setting the table a question popped into my head. “Jin, did you want to eat here or on the island?”

He looked over his shoulder as he was putting the ziti in the oven.

“Over there is perfect,” he said before closing the oven door and setting the timer.

When I went to sit down to wait for the food to be done, I finally realized what I was wearing.

Sweats.

Debating on whether I should change into something nicer, I looked at Jin. He was wearing a simple cream button up with jeans and even though it was casual, it was still better than the sweats I was wearing.

Deciding that I should, at least, look a bit nicer for dinner and got up to head to my room.

“I’m gonna go change real quick before the food’s ready,” I said.

He nodded, “Take your time! The food will be done when you come back.”

And with that, I walked over to my room. I didn’t want to look overly fancy, so I ended up deciding on a nice, dark green crew neck shirt and some light wash jeans. Casual, but still nice.

As for everything else, I just kept it the same. Hair in a low ponytail and little to no makeup. I didn’t want to put in too much work for something that wouldn’t go anywhere after today.

So, with one final once over in the mirror, I headed back to the kitchen. When I was coming up to the kitchen, there was a visible difference from how it was when I left.

The lights were dimmed and when I rounded the corner there was another surprise waiting. Jin. Holding a rose. In the candle light. I smiled and furrowed my eyebrows.

“Okay… When did this happen,” I questioned, pointing at everything on the table.

He walked closer and handed me the rose with a small smile.

“Right when you left.”

I muttered a small “ah” as I took the rose from him and walked over to the table. Just as I was about to pull out my seat, Jin had beat me to it and gestured for me to sit down while pushing in my seat.

“Ever the gentleman, Jin,” I said.

He chuckled. “I would hope so! We are on a date,” he said while bringing the finished pasta to the table.

That’s when I noticed the bouquet of roses.

“You got a bouquet of roses? Did you get these back at the convenience store when you went to get that wine?”

“Smart girl, though the wine was more of a cover for the flowers,” he said as he took a seat across from me.

“And the tealight candles?”

He nodded.

“Did you even get snacks,” I asked.

He furrowed his brow in confusion, “You’re worried about the snacks?!”

“Yes! Snacks are important to me!” He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief.

“Yes, I got snacks.”

I sighed in relief before he continued, “Your favorite, actually.”

It was now my time to be confused.

“Mrs. Cho told me what you liked.”

I lightly shook as I tried to understand what was going on.

“Why did you go to such great lengths for me? With the roses and the candles and the snacks? I mean, we’re not on a real date,” I questioned.

He softly sighed.

“Because maybe I wanted it to be real. Because maybe I’ve really come to like this girl, whose friend set her up with a date she won at an auction. Who's really easy to talk to and is someone I want to go on more dates with so I can get to know her more.”

I couldn’t believe what I heard.

Jin liked me?

He continued, “And maybe I want to keep cooking with her and have random trips to the convenience store because I forgot something and tell her my bad jokes that she rarely laughs at, but I know that she secretly enjoys them.”

I snorted, “I only laughed at one!”

“You still laughed,” he pointed out. I sighed.

“So?”

“So… she sounds like quite the girl.”

He smiled, “Oh, she is.”

I smiled back at him. “So, I’m sure that she would love to keep cooking with you, though I hear that she’s a pretty good cook herself so I’m sure she would love to return the favor by cooking a dish at yours.”

“It’s a date then?”

I nodded.

“But let’s finish this one first, I’m DYING to try this baked ziti,” I exclaimed before he started dishing it out.

“Well then, bon appetite!”

#bts x reader #bts fic #bts x y/n #bts jin #jin x reader #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin fanfic #bts #bangtan #seokjin #bangtan sonyeondan #kim seokjin fluff #kim seokjin x y/n #no beta we die like men

48 notes · View notes

yesimwriting · 1 year

Text

Gingerbread

A/n small christmas drabble i talked about earlier,, just a cute little holiday snippet

Summary: Billy and Stu don’t particularly care about Christmas, but they like being around you.

----

His words are sinking in because it’s been long enough and you can’t just stare at Stu forever, but you can’t think of a way to react. After all, one of the most enthusiastic people you’ve ever met just casually admitted to not being super into the holidays.

The holidays aren’t something people are or aren’t into. They’re a state of mind, a ritual, a time of year to put aside the pretext of angst in order to take joy in the simple things like decorating little cookie people and walking around to look at everyone’s lights.

“You’re ‘not into the holidays’?” Stu blinks, a pinch of humor playing into his expression at your disbelief. “What do you mean you’re ‘not into the holidays’?”

“What I said, sweetheart,” he hums with a casualness that’s nearly suspicious because you’re still not convinced, “I’m not nine so I’m not super into it.”

It. “What’s there not to be into?” You feel a bit like a kid with your insistence, but come on--it’s weird that Stu, who’s all energy and pro anything that gets him time off school is indifferent about the holiday season.

Who’s indifferent about the holiday season? You get why some people might hate this time of year and you don’t expect everyone to be all deck the halls, tinsel coming out of every crevice of their being, or anything--but this much flatness? It’s weird. Especially from him.

Stu’s eyebrows pull together. He’s clearly enjoying something about your shock. “It was fun when I was a kid, but you grow out of the holly jolly. The decorators come, Leslie pops in, and we get gifts. It’s nothing world changing.”

The bit of insight only vaguely helps, shifting your total disbelief into something a little more downcast. His apathy seems to stem from his family dynamic at least a little. “Well, what about you?”

Billy angles his head in your direction, leaning against the island of your family’s kitchen. His pause is cut short by Stu, “Oh, don’t even try with Billy. He’s the real Grinch here.”

Your head snaps towards Billy. “You hate Christmas?”

“Hate’s a strong word,” Billy answers, his flatness ruined by the slight amusement at your total shock. When you don’t ease, Billy shrugs, eyes dropping to focus on the granite countertop instead of your face, “Christmas was my mom’s thing.”

You have to bite your tongue to keep from asking if you heard correctly. Billy mentioning his mom in any capacity is shocking enough, but hearing him talk about her so casually and with such blankness is something else entirely.

“My dad and I just aren’t that into it.”

Nodding once, you’re not sure there’s a good way to continue. “So no baking cookies? Got it.”

Stu leans forward, nudging you with his elbow. “I didn’t say that, princess, I’ll play house with you.”

It takes a second of reflection, but you guess you can see how Stu found a way to weasel in that angle. You weren’t thinking of it when you brought up the cookie thing, but you should have expected it. Stu has a talent for reading between lines in a way that makes it easy to translate subtext into anything he wants it to be. You don’t think you get why he’d want to perceive it that way, but decide that a dip into psychoanalysis will derail the afternoon.

It’s not too weird, you guess, at least not too weird for Stu. His parents aren’t around much so all those little things need to be found in friendship. It’s the defense you use for a lot of Stu’s tiny comments and actions. It’s a fair excuse, and not the worst way his potential parental issues come out, and--

Okay. This is the exact psychological deep dive you didn’t want to take. If you think too hard on it, you feel bad about it. What kind of friend needs to over observe and read into everything like that?

“Yeah?” You tap your nails along the granite, “Willing to wear an apron and everything?”

Stu tilts his head, leaning forward and lifting his hand to your cheek. He pinches the skin of your cheek too quickly for you to protest. “You’re the one with the legs for it.”

It’s dumb enough that you should be able to think of some kind of retort, but the way he says it, voice all low and eyes too focused, derails your train of thought entirely. “And you’re the one with the legs that can reach the top shelf where the flour is.”

----

“I’m doing it right.” It’s little more than a huff and it’s quickly followed by a full, unashamed pout. “You just like being bossy.”

Glaring at Stu as he squishes the dough between his fingers instead of fully flattening it, you cross your arms across your chest. It’s a bad idea, because flour is coating both of your hands and more powder smudges against your shirt. You’re surprised that you didn’t think to expect such a mess. “Do not.”

“The power trip’s adorable.”

“And how cute will you find it when I kick your ass?”

He does the most offensive thing possible. He grins, full teeth and not even the tiniest bit menaced. “Yeah? You’re gonna kick my ass?”

His reply is equal parts teasing and something you’ve never been able to name but have always known not to push too far. Winding Stu up is fun until it’s not and the line shifts with little warning. “Maybe,” it feels more like a retreat than you’d like.

“I wouldn’t try her,” Billy’s voice comes out half disinterested as he continues to mostly do as told, evening out the dough Stu un-smoothed. “She can be mean.”

You fight a smile, “Not mean--fair.”

Billy pauses in a consideration so deliberate it almost feels like he’s making fun of you in a lighthearted way. “Tough.”

Nodding once, you move to press your palm into the dough. “I have to be to keep two specific people I can never shake in line.”

“Two people you can’t shake.” Billy’s thumb presses into the side of the dough stiffly, flattening the dough too thinly. “Sounds like you have some stalkers.”

You move your hand to adjust the distribution of the dough, your fingers brushing against the side of Billy’s hand. “Nah,” you hum casually, “They’re nice in their own weird way.”

Billy turns his hand, skin settling against yours in a way that’d feel intentional if it wasn’t for the way he dutifully returned to evening the dough. “Weird?” It’s said softly enough, a touch of lightheartedness etched into the word.

You’re about to make some joke about how weird is a total understatement when you’re yanked back with no warning. Your body has barely moved a full step, but the sudden, firm grip on your waist and left forearm forces you to bite your tongue to avoid yelping. Flour puffs into a cloud that gets all over you and up your nose.

“Stu!”

He laughs, not letting go. “What happened to keeping us in check?”

The jab makes you feel like you could kill him in order to prove a point. You squirm aimlessly, too offended to manage anything else. Stu’s relentless in his hold as you twist until you’re facing him. His expression leaves something in your stomach on edge. It’s not genuine panic or comfortability either. You can’t decide whether that makes you want to move or stay in place.

Stu angles his head downwards and you slowly raise a hand. He doesn’t question it until it’s too late and you’re opening your palm in order to let out a quick, sharp breath. Flour strikes Stu in a way that seems to genuinely catch him by surprise. It’s enough to make you laugh until his stillness sinks in. His hold on you feels firmer now and you’re not sure if the change is new or if you had been too distracted to notice before. Your lower back presses into the kitchen counter as you instinctually shift back.

The bubbling of your internal awkwardness combines uneasily with the humor of earlier. It sits and builds with no where to go until you blurt out, “You in check yet?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Don’t get a big head, babydoll.”

You’re not sure you get the framing of his words and their uncharacteristically stiff undertone. Before you can dwell, Billy sighs. “You two are little kids.”

Any hint of edge that had just started building up vanishes as Stu turns his head. “Moody.”

“Yeah,” you echo, feeling like your proving Billy’s point, “We should dump flour on Billy.”

“An entire bag,” Stu angles his head to face you again, slowly releasing you, “We could wait for him to go to the bathroom and ambush him.”

“You hide around the corner and I’ll hide behind the couch. No escape.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “You’re conspiring in front of me.”

“Maybe I’m just trying to lure you into a false sense of security and I’m actually planning something a lot worse.”

His eyebrows draw together, a desperate attempt at annoyance. “You wouldn’t make a good bad guy.”

You let out a sound of mock offense. “You have no idea what I’m capable of plotting. I could be a total evil mastermind.”

With a loud snort, Stu brings attention back to him. “You’re better off sticking to the cookies.” Before you can protest, Stu challenges your irritated expression with a question, “Okay--slasher movie, how do you take out your first victim?”

You’d point out that you weren’t trying to prove you’d be a fantastic killer in a scary movie, but they’d take that as giving up. Especially since you should have known that one of them would go there eventually. “Those things are unrealistic because half the time not getting caught isn’t a priority.” The answer feels a little bit like a cop out, and so you take a second to actually think it through, “But, I guess, off the top of my head I’d take out the first victim way before the others to make the crimes seem disconnected.”

Billy asks, “Then what?”

Ugh. You don’t love being put on the spot and this could easily turn into a sore subject with how seriously they take their scary movies. You’re not in the mood to be made into a joke as they pick apart your murder plan without taking into consideration that they gave you no notice. “I don’t know--take out the second victim alone to allow suspense to build and then attack the last of them all at once at some place I’m supposed to be at and then injure myself to make it easier to frame someone close enough to the victims to already have the police’s eye on them.”

“Boring,” Stu exhales, dragging out the two syllables, “You left out the good, bloody details. Think you’d look cute all stabby--”

“You want to see me stab happy? Because I guarantee you won’t like the outcome.”

“Ouch,” Stu drops his head onto your shoulder, feigning a pain to rival an actual wound, “I’d let you live if I was a killer.” Not breaking at what’s clearly a compliment, you cup some more flour into your hand before blowing it into his face again. “You’re mean.” The whine is followed by him burring his head into his shoulder as he pretends to cry, affectively forcing the flour all over your shirt.

Billy leans forward, grabbing a cloth rag from the other side of the counter before dropping it in front of you. “Clean up before you get it on me.” He catches the look behind your eye before you even realize what you’re doing. “Don’t.”

His warning isn’t serious to constitute a threat or ruin the mood, but you’re not in the mood to make this painful. He’s already precarious enough when it comes to Christmas as is. “You’re no fun.”

----

Baking cookies has never taken you this long in your life. You’re sure that you were a better cookie assistant when you were a toddler than Billy and Stu were today, but you don’t mind.

You had to take a quick shower while the cookies were in the oven because there was no other way to get all of that flour off. Stu did the same once you got out of the bathroom. Though, according to Stu and his never ending jokes and little comments, the truly practical thing would have been to shower together.

But now you’re dry and clean and Stu finally put on the shirt you stuck in the wash back on, you’re all left with a tiny army of gingerbread men. Yours are decorated a little cliche, gum drop buttons and crooked frosting smiles. Stu took creative liberties in the making of his thanks to help from the red food coloring he found in the back of the kitchen cabinet. Billy’s was surprisingly the neatest but was only decorated as an average guy in order to be a victim to Stu’s axe wielding gingerbread man.

You rolled your eyes, but the amount of background and voices that went into the production of the mini massacre that only spared your cookies was funny.

"So, sugarplum.” The nickname forces your nose to wrinkle and you fight a laugh the same way a parent who doesn’t want to encourage bad behavior in a toddler would. That much affirmation could lead to sugarplum joining the already lengthy lineup of pet names Stu rotates through on a regular basis. “What’s your heart’s Christmas wish?”

Okay--you’re not made of stone. A laugh that’s a little too loud slips out. “You don’t need to be that cheesy, all I did was get you to bake cookies.”

Stu forces out a mock gasp, eyes flitting towards Billy. “Can you believe her?”

“I can’t believe you used ‘sugarplum’ and ‘Christmas wish’ in the same sentence.” Billy lifts his head up from the couch long enough for you to catch his slight smile. You laugh again, a little more comfortably.

“Yeah, yeah, gang up on me,” Stu says this like he has never been this tired or this victimized in his life. He moves to sit on the couch, taking a second to comfortably adjust before patting his thigh. “If I get one of those hats will you sit on my lap and tell me what you want?”

You roll your eyes, fighting against the burning sensation in your face. “Yeah,” flopping onto the couch at what you consider a safe distance, you continue, “And then if I’m lucky you’ll put me on the nice list.”

“There’s an easy way to g--” He’s cut off by a pillow hitting the edge of his chin before smacking against his chest and landing on his lap. Stu gasps with an over the top level of offense. “What? I was going to say all you had to do was get me another cookie from the kitchen.”

It’s blatant bullshit. “Mhm,” you cross your arms, settling on your spot, “I’m sure.”

“Cross my heart.” He makes a point of tracing the ‘X’ motion over his chest. “I’m easily pleased.”

Billy gently kicks his foot against Stu’s. “Since when?”

“Since always.” Stu sits up, turning his full attention back to you. “But seriously, princess, what do you want for Christmas?”

The question makes you feel awkward despite it’s casualness. “Um...” Every time people ask it, your mind instantly wipes and you can’t think of anything you’ve ever desired or needed. Besides, gift buying is inherently awkward when it’s talked about. “Nothing really, as of right now, I guess.”

Stu practically whines like your response is a seriously, deeply personal issue. “Don’t pretend, it just makes Christmas shopping harder.”

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“Like I’m not getting my best girl anything.”

Sitting up a little further, you’re not sure what you to say to that. Sometimes Stu’s joking flirting is a little hard to laugh about when it’s that blatant. “You guys should help me put up some lights in my room. Last year I almost broke the curtain rod so now I’m banned from doing it alone.”

You stand before any further comment can be made, fully aware of how transparent and flimsy the transition feels, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You’d much rather be playing with colored lights as Stu gets too comfortable climbing up stepping stools and furniture than having whatever that conversation would have been.

#scream #scream x reader #Stu Macher #stu macher x reader #billy and stu #Billy Loomis #billy loomis x reader #Scream 1996 #ghostface #poly!ghostface #Poly! Ghostface x Reader

291 notes · View notes

brumeraven · 3 months

Text

🪫: The Chains That Bind || angels, burnout, commoditization, dehumanization, exhaustion, I know that SCRAM is probably a backronym but it's so stupid I love it

"So, uhh..."

Shit, only three days. Knew I shouldn't have picked four in the pool... At least I didn't go with "Never," like Gloria from HR. Bitch should know better; they always, always ask. Might be a day, might be a week, but they always bring it up.

"You ever, uh, think about what exactly we're doing here?"

There it was. The million dollar question. Suppose that number should be revised well-upwards, honestly, power prices being what they were these days, but I couldn't be arsed to keep up with the current budget...

"Like, with that thing in there, ya know?" He gestured vaguely past the consoles before us towards the observation slit, as if there could be any doubt what he meant. Wasn't anything else to talk about around here, least of all the drab beige plastic that comprised every surface.

"Notice you haven't taken a peek yet, rookie. Superstitious much?" I kept my voice light, despite the lance of hot rage that pierced my breast. Close to a decade of experience meant I'd had practice enough at controlling Extrinsics.

"No! Just, I mean..." With a sigh, he stood and leaned forward to look, pressing forward with a near-reverent hesitance. I'd have to keep an eye on that. That spoke of assumptions, and assumptions lead to sloppy work.

I didn't need to look. Already knew what he was staring at.

And if I hadn't, well, it was painted on his face, plain as daylight. 4 solid inches of recycled cathedral glass lessened the intensity to something just-shy of blinding, but compared to the anemic fluorescence of the control room, he might as well have been staring at the sun.

"....hm." It was a disappointed sort of non-committal noise.

"Not what you expected?" Of course it wasn't, not on this side of the shielding. Anyone too sensitive would never have been allowed this close.

"It's...bright?" Disappointment, and the desire for confirmation.

"It's a toroidal cloud of plasma. What the hell did you expect?" Part of the ritual, this was. Debase, demean, lessen. Pinion its wings with the materialistic, the rational, the objective, the familiar.

I knew what he meant, but that part...that part was buried just out sight.

If a few hundred tons of concrete, ten of graphite, and a cell of industrial diamond could be called "just out of sight." Only been down there once; creeped me out when my clothes changed color. Tiny changes, but you never knew what tiny change in your genes would become cancer.

"Yeah, I, uh, can see. I guess I expected-"

"Arms, legs, wings? Some white robes? Maybe a harp or trumpet?" The first bit was true, at least sometimes. Music was a bad idea though. "It's not a person. It's a machine. A thing that was made to do a job. A car, not a yoked horse."

"Aren't you ...afraid though?"

"Afraid? Hell yes I am." That much was no lie. "I'm afraid my coffee is gonna become decaf in between sips, or my bra won't match my shirt, or some other Slip is gonna fuck up my perfectly good day answering your stupid questions." Easy, steady...

Woof. That was a pained look if I'd ever seen one. Fine, he needed more reassurance than that... "Look, of course I worry. Even without hypocertainty effects, there are ten thousand things that could go wrong here. And our job is to make sure they don't, okay?"

"Okay...but-"

"Look, keep your eyes on the gauges and the protocols in mind. Long as shit's all green, s'all good, yeah? Been here 11 years; most of the time when the alarms go off, it's just brumeraven buildup. We wet vent it out through the filters and someone gets a flat tire or something."

He nodded, if not with much conviction. "What's, uh, what's the worst that could happen?"

Fuck, where in the hell did they even find this guy?

Fine, if he wanted it... "Worst case, the Void coefficient inverts and goes positive. We end up with a criticality incursion, have to cut the outflows and you..." I leaned over to prod his arm for emphasis. "...you get to take ice cream and stuffed animals downstairs for it."

Well, that got a nervous giggle and a minute of silence. Probably for the best he thought it a joke for the moment. I waited, then, waited for the question he still hadn't asked, the one I knew was coming.

"But what...what if it breaks loose? What if it gets out?"

Bingo. It wouldn't. It couldn't. "It won't. It can't. Besides, that's my job." I tapped the badge clipped to my shirt, right on the crisp, serifed capital letters: SCRMNT. Safety Containment Responsibility Manager/Neutralization Technician. Corporate did love their acronyms...

"I mean, sure, no offense, but what exactly are you gonna do against that thing in there, if it breaks the control bonds?"

Ahhh, and there it was, the root of the misunderstanding. He still thought this was a prison of concrete and rebar, copper and steel.

"You don't understand. All this concrete and shit? That's all just shielding for our benefit. And for the power converters and all that. It's free to leave; not like we could stop it. But if she goes, whole power grid goes down."

It. Fuck.

"I don't understand. Why...?"

"Please, with all the hospitals and homes and hotels that depend on us?"

"..."

"You want to know how you keep an angel bound?"

The question hung in the air as I felt the hairs on my arm prick, and a fleeting sense of sorrow not my own slunk into my heart.

He nodded, waiting.

I smiled slowly.

"Responsibilities."

~🪫

#empty spaces #microfiction #fiction #angelposting #angels #burnout #commoditization #dehumanization #exhaustion #I know that SCRAM is probably a backronym but it's so stupid I love it

11 notes · View notes

rpedia · 3 months

Text

Anonymous asked: Idk, why. But every time I rp as a guy I sometimes feel uncomfortable or just bored. Especially when it comes to canon characters, I feel like I'm just satisfying my parthers otp/ships with their oc's. And when I try to bring in my others oc's, they're ignored. This happens almost every time with any other person. Do you have any advice?

Usually there’s a reason for stuff like this, so lemme jump to the biggest most extreme conclusion and get that outta the way. If you’re uncomfortable exclusively by the act of playing a gender, or thinking like a gender, and acting like a gender, and feel like you’re just playing a role with no connection to specifically a gender and nothing else... Maybe you don’t want to play/be/act as that gender? I mean, it could be anything setting you off, but this is important to point out, especially with your wording, subconscious though it may be. You don’t have to RP as a guy. It’s okay. Be anything you want, that’s what RP is for. To have fun, and be comfortable, and do what feels good to you. There’s no shame in just saying no to RPing anything. Settings, characters, genders, themes, tropes, even just roleplaying if you’re not in the mood! Roleplay is, again, for fun, and you should probably communicate that you’re no longer having it. That you want to explore other options. I mean this could be as simple as you don’t have chemistry with those partners, to as complex as realizing you may not have a real connection to a specific gender... even IRL.

Like, I’m not gonna lie, I have seen a large number of people who have realized they identify as something else because they’ve played other genders, tried out the ol’ mental space with RP, and found something that fit them better. Might not be applicable to you, that’s fine. This is a deeply personal decision though, I’m just pointing it out as an aside because some people need that little push to go ‘oh’ and this answer is going to be an open letter to everyone who is in this situation as usual. So hey, it doesn’t have to be too serious, and if questioning your labels isn’t your speed, no issue. Just thought it was wise to point it out, rather than ignore it and pretend it didn’t set off a tiny alarm in my head saying ‘hang on a sec’. So yes, with that out of the way— Of course that’s not the only reason things might feel ‘off’! Like I mention above, there’s plenty of other things, so now that we have a quick ‘I’d be a jerk if I didn’t say this does happen’ out of the way, let’s explore things like chemistry, and why your characters don’t resonate with you personally, but end up seeming to be more for your partner in crime over there. AKA: Playing for other people, and why it doesn’t really work out.

So when you RP a character and they don’t sync with you personally? That’s a big thing buddy! That’s a sign you’re not playing what you love or vibe with. That doesn’t seem like something you should get upset about, we all do stuff that we feel pretty neutral or vaguely bored by for friends and family, but it really really can be draining over time. Playing something deeply out of your personal experience is a fun challenge, but I would never say do that for a long term if you’re not getting comfortable as you do it. You can burn yourself out, by pushing too hard and making so much work for yourself you lose the thread of fun supposedly throughout all RP.

Me? I have trouble with happy, perky characters. I can do it, and I do it well judging by the reaction of people around me, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like someone is very slowly spreading me thinner and thinner trying to react against my natural instincts. I know it’s actually another problem that some people feel like they play too many similar characters, but that’s a natural inclination to play something that suits you, so you can give your full attention to the details surrounding that character instead of questioning everything you do.

Being able to act on auto pilot helps a ton when you want to focus on the important parts, like the plot instead of figuring out how this character would feel if it’s not what you kneejerk understand. Second guessing is hard! As anyone who deals with second guessing everything they do all day: it leads to exhaustion because it’s an extra hidden layer of emotional labor.

So! Why are dudes uncomfortable for you? We’ve got an obvious problem here that an external force (your RP buddies over there) may have trained you to believe that you only have one purpose. That male characters are romance fodder, and have to fall in love with an OC. That your OC’s aren’t important. That’s gonna be a whoooole different problem right there. This is a problem with your RP partner, who is using you to fulfill their happiness. There’s a huge problem with the power dynamic in this OOC relationship, just going by this little snippet.

Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake.

I’m leaving that line all alone so you can really look at it, and reread it. I’m going to say it again in fact: Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake. There’s various reasons why that’s icky, but I’ll just touch on what stands out to me most. One of those things is that this makes roleplaying a job.

Instead of letting yourself explore the mind of a character you enjoy, you’ve come to expect that you will follow a certain order of things, and that your job is to fill the emotional labor required of your partner to keep them happy. They respond to you requesting similar emotional labor (which in a healthy relationship should be give-and-take) by ignoring you. This is painful for you, maybe not like getting pinched, but feeling like what you’ve made isn’t good enough? That you’re not good enough by extension because our RP kids are totally extensions of ourselves? That’s unfair. Unfair to you.

However! Even if something seems to be a pattern, like not playing dudes, it’s always good to test run characters from all walks of life. Any character couldn’t be the exception to or that your mood could change. That means, don’t feel guilty if you’ve said “this label doesn’t feel right” for a while, and then you have an exception. It just means it’s an exception, you’re fine. You’re not breaking your own rules, you’re learning more about what works with you.

Finding yourself at a loss with OC’s or characters you enjoy may point to your environment being one that’s hostile to new things. They don’t understand an OC, there’s no blueprint giving them an idea of what to expect. OC’s are also one of the easiest ways for players to get into the game, which means newbies who lack social graces tend to gravitate towards them because ‘there’s no rules to break’ in how they portray them. Unfortunately since they don’t know how to approach others in socially appropriate ways, this gives OC’s a reputation for being awful to play with. They break etiquette, they push too hard, they don’t get why someone may be backing away. This isn’t the OC’s fault, it’s the player, but it’s seen more in OC’s because of ease-of-entry. So... they gain a reputation.

That means approaching on an OC is definitely going to come with people looking for standard red flags, and they’ll need to see you in action long enough to get comfortable with you! You have to be stellar in everything to get attention, and you have to have a hook. Your character has to be stand-out, interesting, and fun. Something people get grabbed by the summary of, so they can emotionally attach to it the same way they did major series, which give a character time to come out of their shell, and audiences time to connect to them. That’s why canons are popular: They bought the time it took to get under people’s skin by having a plot to follow. Without that, OC’s are like hearing about a character from another fandom you’re not interested in.

There’s also, unfortunately, an online beef against the ladies in plot. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, people have gotten it into their heads that girls being roleplayed tend to be shallow, vapid characters designed just for romance. So it can be hard to egt people interested because of stereotypes. The worst part is, I see this stereotype most often from male writers playing women, who have no idea hoiw to treat them as a person, and have instead made them a cardboard cut out designed to reach their goals. This is even worse on adult websites where smut is an option, ladies get the short stick SO often because of years where female characters have been treated as a plot device.

This goes way back to the idea of a sexy lamp: If your female character can be replaced with a sexy lamp, they aren’t expanded enough on. They aren’t a person. Some of the strongest female characters have been, say, Ripley from Alien. Why? She was a male character in the script, they just didn’t change anything but her gender and rolled with it. Which, duh, worked because women is people. A wild concept for some reason. Can you tell this is something that gets my goat, because baaaa, motherfucker, baaaa.

That means you end up working against a lot of shit to just try and play around and have fun. It can be exhausting, and more than once I’ve seen people give up. Don’t, though. People need to hear your voice. If you’re in a position where things are hard, remember. Trying the same things over and over expecting it to change is just silly. You need to change parts of your approach, whether it be the environment, the people, or simply how you word things. Push back on what’s making you feel bad, and put down boundaries. “If I do this, I would appreciate if you gave back with this.” Ask for space, you deserve space to explore what makes you happy. Say no more often to things you’re not comfortable with. You don’t have any obligation to fit a mold for another person.

Find your comfort zone, and defend it. If that means moving onto a new group of people, or just doing something extraordinary with what you have, or finding a new way to approach stuff, then maybe that’s what you need to do! Spread your wings, and find what makes you happy. Don’t look for advice on how to tamp yourself down into what you feel like you should be doing, if it’s not right for you. Good luck, and Happy RPing!

#RPedia #roleplay #roleplay help #roleplaying tips #rph #anonymous #Ask Rpedia #gender dysphoria #misogyny #OC hate #Big topics for a little question #I know #Especially when the advice boils down to #don't do thing if hurt #do other thing #with new people if needed

8 notes · View notes

pocket-lad · 7 months

Text

CH 9- They Just Do What They Do

They trudged along for what felt like ages. Adelaide was in no position to complain, considering she didn’t have to walk. But if she were to complain, she’d say Alan breathed loudly, his shoulder was uncomfortable, and he carried himself differently than Ian, which took getting used to. It was still hot even though the sun disappeared behind the clouds a while ago, and everything was sticky. Everything smelled and everything hurt and above all else, Adelaide was tired. She just wanted to sleep.

She may have tried, if not for Tim. He didn’t ask any questions for some time, but he either forgot Alan’s suggestion to stop or became too curious to contain himself.

“Can I hold her now?” he asked.

“No,” Adelaide and Alan said together.

A brief pause, and then: “So how do you live?”

“That’s a vague question,” Adelaide responded.

“Like...do you brush your teeth?” Tim clarified.

“Yes.”

“Shower?”

“Yes.”

“What do you eat?”

“Um...food, I guess?”

“What kind of food?”

“Normal food? What kind of question is that?”

“Where do you sleep?”

“In my bed.”

“How do you go to the bathroom?”

“Okay! I think that’s enough of that,” Alan interrupted.

“Gross!” Lex muttered.

Adelaide was thankful for the intervention. She could barely keep her eyes open, and answering this kid’s questions took half her brain power. The other half was focused on not strangling him. She knew he was just curious- she would be too if she found out tiny people existed – but the questions were borderline degrading, and she certainly wasn’t going to answer that last one.

They walked on in silence for only a couple minutes before Tim said, “Do you watch TV?”

“Tim-” Adeliade began, ready to tell him off.

A roar sounded somewhere in the distance, cutting her short. She felt Alan tense beneath her.

He decided to call it for the night, his voice casual for the sake of the kids, but Adelaide knew better. The dinosaurs were still out there, and just because they escaped one didn't mean others wouldn't appear. They had the cover of the dense foliage on their side, but Adelaide knew from experience that that cover was only an illusion. It would not protect them in the event of an attack.

Alan ushered everyone up into a new tree. Tim complained the whole way, but Lex shot right up.

Alan paused before he ascended. “You, ah...” he began. Adelaide knew what he was trying to ask. Did she want to go back in the pocket? The answer was no, she wasn’t looking to go back in the pocket any time soon, but she wanted to see if he could figure out how to ask the question.

“I what?” she goaded.

“You want to, um...get - get in?”

Every ounce of sense Adelaide had left screamed at her that this was stupid and that she should suck it up and get in the pocket so that she didn’t fall a million feet to her death. Stubbornness won out, though, as always. “I’m okay, thank you,” she said smugly.

“Well, uh, hold on then...I guess.”

Alan climbed, and Adelaide kept a secure hold on his shirt. They made their way to a big fork in the tree, big enough for everyone to sit in comfortably. Along the way, she heard a strange call that probably came from some other fucked up prehistoric animal, but she couldn’t afford to get distracted while Alan was climbing.

When Alan stopped though, she looked up to see the source of the noise - it was coming from dinosaurs like the one she saw when they first arrived at the park. They were so tall that their heads soared above the trees. They picked off whole branches in search of a meal and let out a melodic call.

Beyond them, the gorgeous landscape stretched out for miles. The sun sunk completely below the horizon not too long ago, casting a warm pink light through the purple clouds. The trees swayed in the wind. If Adelaide could pretend that those dinosaurs were just part of the backdrop, it was almost peaceful.

Tim called them Brachiosauruses, and Alan suggested that they were singing. He was suddenly on the move, climbing to a higher branch and stabilizing himself. He cupped his hands around his mouth and let out an imitation of the dinosaurs’ call.

Adelaide plugged her ears, being right on his shoulder. She figured Alan’s loud voice couldn’t do much more damage than was already done, but it was uncomfortable on her small ears all the same.

Two brachiosauruses turned their heads in the humans’ direction. Adelaide froze, and Lex voiced both their fears. “Shh, shh! Don't let the monsters come over here!”

“They're not monsters, Lex. They're just animals. These are herbivores,” Alan reassured her.

Ha, Adelaide thought. Just animals. So was the T-Rex and look how that turned out. But even normal animals were a threat to Adelaide. They might as well be classified as monsters for all the trouble they gave her.

“That means they only eat vegetables, but for you I think they'd make an exception,” Tim elaborated, unable to keep from teasing his sister.

“Tim...,” Alan warned.

“Oh, I hate the other kind,” Lex said.

“You and me both,” Adelaide mumbled. She thought she kept her voice down, but Lex turned to give her a small, grateful smile.

“The other kind just... do what they do,” Alan said as he made his way back to the fork in the tree, a little more careful now that he was over his initial excitement. He collapsed into a seated position, bouncing Adelaide. She couldn’t blame him, though. They walked for a long time and he was now responsible for two annoying children and one annoying borrower. He had to be exhausted.

As if on cue, Lex and Tim nestled up on either side of him. The top of Tim’s head was only inches below where Adelaide sat, making this the closest she ever got to either of the children. And nothing bad happened. Maybe Adelaide’s fear of children was a little baseless. That wouldn’t help her get over it any time soon, but the more time she spent around them, the more she realized that they were intelligent in their own way. They weren’t some mindless monsters.

They just...do what they do, Adelaide thought, repeating Alan’s words in her mind.

Alan unexpectedly jumped, which made Adelaide jump. He leaned a little to the side, sending her tumbling into his neck. She pushed herself off of it as he muttered a distracted apology, curious to see what he was doing.

Alan pulled something out of his back pocket from somewhere out of her line of vision. When he brought it into view, Adelaide recognized it from the plane ride here. It was the thing he fiddled with when he first spotted her, which she now recognized as a giant claw. She stared at it, interested in what it once belonged to and where he got it from.

After some debate, she voiced her curiosity. “What is that?”

“That... is a velociraptor claw. A real one. Dug it up somewhere in Canada, I think.” Alan held the claw closer to his shoulder for Adelaide to get a better look, but she pressed her back into the tree behind them. She could see it perfectly fine and wanted to get no closer.

“Oh. It’s uh.... neat,” Adelaide said. It was neat, but it probably would have been a lot neater if she wasn’t three inches tall and it wasn’t being held in her face by a mostly unknown giant.

“What are you and Ellie gonna do now if you don't have to pick up dinosaur bones anymore?” Lex asked.

“I don't know, I guess... I guess we'll just have to evolve too,” Alan said sadly.

So that’s who he was. Adelaide knew Alan was a dinosaur expert and was also someone important – he had to be for him to be invited down here, but she never even thought about what it was that he actually did. Was digging up dinosaur bones an actual profession for Beans? They always came up with the weirdest jobs. Adelaide couldn’t fathom having a job. If anything, her job was survival.

“What do you call a blind dinosaur?” Tim asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur?” Alan asked back.

Adelaide was confused. She had just gathered that dinosaurs were Alan’s job, but he didn’t have an answer for Tim. If anyone should have the answer, it would be him.

“Do-you-think-he-saurus,” Tim said. Alan chuckled.

Oh. It was a joke. Adelaide felt stupid for not picking up on that, but she also couldn’t see their faces. Also, she only just recently found out what a dinosaur actually was, so she gave herself a pass.

“What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?” Tim asked.

Alan paused to think, then said, “You got me.”

“A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex."

Alan laughed a little harder this time. Adelaide didn’t get it, but the mood was contagious. Blame it on the nerves, blame it on the exhaustion, but Adelaide let out her first real laugh in what felt like forever.

Lex apparently had other things on her mind. “What if the dinosaur comes back while we're all asleep?” she asked hesitantly.

Oh yeah. Adelaide’s one moment of levity was cut short by the reminder that they were still in danger.

“I'll stay awake. All night,” Alan assured her. Silence fell, and Adelaide watched him fidget with his claw for a moment before he let it drop to the ground. She thought back to the various times she watched Ian fidget. They both had such large hands, capable of manipulating big and heavy things with ease, like the claw. The details she could see in those hands, invisible to the human eye, were so fascinating and complex.

Adelaide laid back on Alan’s shoulder, then adjusted to lean against the tree, then against his neck, then back against the tree again, then back along his shoulder again. She couldn’t get comfortable, and despite the exhaustion weighing on her, she doubted she was in for a restful night. Plus, she didn’t know if she could fully trust Alan yet. To fall asleep in front of a Bean was to put herself in an extremely vulnerable position. She hardly slept around Ian, and never slept on him, so it was unlikely she’d drop her guard enough to sleep around Alan.

She also specifically didn’t want to sleep on his shoulder. Adelaide wasn’t known for staying still while she slept. She liked to sprawl out and roll around and she often found herself nowhere near her nest when she woke up in the morning. That simply wasn’t an option here. If she rolled over, she would plummet straight off his shoulder, past the tree, and splat onto the ground below.

But what other choice did she have? His pocket? No thanks. His hands? No way .

Alan felt her shifting and had to force himself to ignore the tickling sensation on his neck. He too expected to stay awake for most of the night, if not all of it.

An hour later, both kids were fast asleep, but the adults were still wide awake. Adelaide gave up on getting comfortable a long time ago and stared up through the trees at the sky. She wished she could see the stars, but it was too cloudy.

Adelaide always heard about stars in stories, but she never thought she’d get the chance to see them, living her life completely indoors. Even after she met Ian, her few trips outside at night never resulted in any stargazing. Ian told her it was due to something called ‘light pollution’, and he explained that it affected cities the most. But there was none of that here. Just clouds.

It was cold. She thought the persistent Costa Rican heat would never end, but once it did, it did so fast , especially high up in the treetops. Adelaide longed for her coat which was somewhere back in Ian’s pocket. Ian...

Every time she got close to falling asleep, a weird noise would wake her, or she would start to worry about him again.

“Dr. Grant?” she said tentatively. Alan’s breathing had slowed down, so Adelaide assumed he fell asleep, but there was no harm in trying.

Silence. And then:

“Yeah?” he whispered.

Adelaide honestly didn’t have anything to say. She just didn’t want to be alone. It was a long moment before she responded.

“So, um...you’re a dinosaur...person?” she asked. That was stupid, she thought.

He laughed. “Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I... I’ve loved them ever since I can remember... When I was a boy, I spent hours playing with the little figurines and digging holes in my backyard, pretending to find dinosaur bones. Oh, my parents were so mad... But I guess they’ve just been a big part of my life for forever,” he explained.

“Oh,” she said.

Another, longer silence filled the air.

“How are you holding up?” he asked her. That was a question you were supposed to ask when bad stuff happened, so he tried it.

“Bad,” Adelaide admitted. “You?”

“Same,” he said.

Having a conversation with Alan was a lot easier here in the dark. Adeliade didn’t have to worry about him moving too fast or getting too close, trapped as he was underneath Lex and Tim. They couldn’t see each other, so she could pretend that he wasn’t a giant and that they were two normal sized people having a normal sized conversation, besides the ever-present rumble from his voice that she could literally feel in her body. Without having to look him in the eye, talking came a lot more naturally.

It was the longest stretch of silence yet. Both thought the other had fallen asleep.

“You know I’m not a child, right?” Adelaide whispered. She knew it was bold, but it was something that had been weighing on her for some time now, and she didn’t know how much longer she could go on without saying something. Better to bring it up gently now than explode later.

“Huh?” Alan asked, a little taken aback.

“I can take care of myself. I’m not like...Ian’s pet or anything,” she continued.

“I know,” Alan said calmly, but he reflected on his previous assumptions. Maybe he did lump her in with the kids he begrudgingly looked after. He didn’t know what kind of relationship Adelaide and Ian had, and it wasn’t his business to ask, so he just filled in the gaps himself. It was easy to forget she was a person with thoughts and feelings and agency, she was just so small. He still didn’t quite see how she could actually survive on her own, but he supposed if he was that small, he too would want others to treat him with the same kind of respect they treated normal people with. Still, he couldn’t shake the sense that he needed to protect her. If not for her sake, then at least for Ian’s. Alan didn’t miss how attached he was to her.

“I survived on my own for a long time,” Adelaide said, reading Alan’s mind. “Ian found me, and we happened to get along, but I do my own thing. I find my own food, my own water, I make my own clothes, gather my own supplies, build my own-”

“I get it,” Alan interrupted lightly, noticing that she was getting a little too loud. He didn’t want the kids to wake up, and not just because they needed sleep. He only had a couple hours without them, and he didn’t want to ruin it. “You’re not his pet, and you’re not a kid. I’m sorry if I gave the impression that I think otherwise.”

“It’s okay,” Adelaide said honestly. “I understand.”

“You do realize how curious I am, though?” Alan ventured.

Adelaide laughed. “Yeah, I get it. It’s not every day you see a three-inch tall person walking around... Maybe I’ll tell you about it some time, if...” The rest of the sentence hung in the air. If we make it out of here alive.

“I’d like that,” Alan smiled.

Silence. After a while, Alan thought he heard light sniffling, and maybe even crying. He definitely felt something repeatedly pull on his shirt, and he resisted the urge to scratch at it. He was going to let it go, assuming Adelaide wanted to cry in peace, but she surprised him.

“Dr. Grant?” Adelaide asked again.

“Yeah?”

“Is Ian... I mean, he has to be...or...do you think he’s alive?” Adelaide almost couldn’t ask the question, scared of the answer.

Alan hesitated before he answered. He didn’t want to get Adelaide’s hopes up, but he didn’t want to crush her, either. If he delivered any bad news, he was scared she would jump straight out of this tree.

That hesitation was all Adelaide needed to confirm her worst fears. Anything he said next would be negated by that pause, because she knew what he truly thought. Ian was dead.

“There’s a chance...” Alan said, but Adelaide started to cry. She tried to hide it, but every time she gasped for air, she knew he heard her, what with her proximity to his ear. Usually, she’d be too embarrassed to cry in front of anyone, let alone a stranger, so she’d suck it up and let it out when she was alone. At this point though, that was impossible. Her whole world was gone.

At a loss for words, Alan reached his fingers up and laid them on his shoulder beside Adelaide for comfort. Not touching her, but close. He had no idea if it would work or if his intention would even come across.

Adelaide flinched on instinct but settled down almost instantly. She appreciated the gesture, so she rested her hand on one of his fingers in acknowledgement. The finger twitched in response, but nothing more.

“We’ll find him, Adelaide. And we’ll figure it all out, one way or another,” Alan said.

“Thanks, Dr. Grant,” Adelaide said tiredly. She shook with sadness and exhaustion, and maybe a little from the cold. Up in the trees in the dead of night, she had to admit she was chilly.

Feeling this, Alan untied the bandana around his neck and uncurled it from its stiff position. It was still a little wet, but it retained a lot of the heat that radiated off his body. It was better than nothing. He draped it over her curled-up form.

“You’re welcome, but uh, you can call me Alan........Why don’t you get some rest?”

“I don’t think I can,” Adelaide admitted. She snuggled into the bandana, grateful for a little heat, even if it was kind of gross.

“Yeah, me either,” Alan agreed.

“What do you want to know?” Adelaide prompted him. She wiped at her eyes, clearing the remaining tears away.

Confused, Alan asked what she meant.

“You said you were curious about me. What do you want to know?”

Alan recognized what she was trying to do. Neither of them was going to get any sleep, and unless she had something to distract her, she was going to keep thinking about Ian. Alan indulged her and pondered her question. What did he want to know?

“Well, I doubt you know much about your physiology,” he said.

“Try me,” Adelaide challenged him.

“Okay......your brain. And don’t take this the wrong way, but your brain, at that size, should not have the capacity to allow you to function the way that you do. Your speech, your reasoning skills. At most you should only be able to function at the level of birds,” he explained.

“Gee, thanks,” Adelaide joked. “Was there a question there?”

“Well, how?” Alan prodded.

“I have no idea,” Adelaide laughed. She knew from the moment he said ‘physiology’ that she wouldn’t be able to answer whatever question he was about to ask. She just wanted to hear it, and also see how far she could lead him on. She had no idea what ‘physiology’ even meant.

Alan laughed too. Lex shifted and groaned in her sleep, forcing them to quiet down a bit, lest they wake anyone and face an onslaught of complaints.

“Okay, okay, uh...what’s life like at that size?” he tried again.

“Hard. Next.”

“Alright then,” Alan chuckled.

“Sorry, it’s just.... that’s such a broad question. I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Adelaide elaborated.

What Alan truly wanted to know was how Adelaide and Ian came to meet, but he wanted to steer clear of any topic that involved Ian.

“What’s a normal day like?” Alan asked.

Adelaide decided to think of a time before she and Ian met. That’s probably what he was after, anyway. She hesitated. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to use this knowledge against anyone else,” she said seriously.

“There are more of you?”

Shit. She assumed it was obvious, but the fact that he didn’t already know that slipped her mind. She was glad no other borrowers were around to yell at her. Adelaide blamed the exhaustion.

“Yeah, so none of this gets out to anyone, alright?” She had to make sure he understood the weight this information held.

“Of course,” Alan promised. He meant it, but he was also baffled by the fact that there were more people out there just as small as her.

“Well, I uh, I live in the walls, for starters. I’ve got a home set up in there. A block of wood for a door, a nest of fabric, a thimble to sit on, you get the idea. I borrow those things from Beans. I’m not stealing or anything, and it’s never anything a Bean would miss,” she added quickly. Giants got touchy and defensive when it came to the ethics of borrowing versus stealing. Another reason to avoid notice.

“What are Beans?” Alan interrupted.

Adelaide gave him a confused look. “What do you mean? That’s you,” she said.

“I’m a Bean?” Alan asked, amused.

“Yeah, a Human Bean, right?” She looked up at the side of his face, thinking she would see some sign of a joke.

“Oh! Ha, yeah, uh, I think it’s human ‘being’,” Alan explained.

“That’s what Ian said, too! I’m pretty sure it’s Human ‘Bean’,” Adelaide insisted.

“If I’m a Bean, then what are you?”

“I’m a borrower.”

“Alright then,” Alan conceded with a smile. “Sorry for interrupting. Go on.” She could tell he didn’t believe her and was just trying to placate her. She felt a twinge of annoyance but pushed past it.

“Uh, I don’t know. I don’t really have a set schedule. Nothing similar to Beans anyway. When I’m low on food, I go looking for food. When I’m low on water, I go to the pipes. It’s all pretty boring, honestly.”

“How do you have access to this stuff?” Alan encouraged her.

“I have my hook. Well, I don’t have it on me right now, which is... mildly concerning. I left it in my bag, which is back in Ian’s pocket, with my jacket, so....I guess I’ll have to make a new one.” She pressed on before she could dwell over it. “It’s not the sturdiest thing in the whole world, but it gets me from point A to point B.”

They went on like that for a while, telling stories back and forth. Every time Adelaide thought she was done, Alan was able to give her more to talk about. She never thought her life would be this interesting to anybody. But both Ian and Alan proved her wrong with the number of questions they could come up with and the fascination they exuded. She never said anything too personal or too revealing, nothing that would really endanger any other borrowers, but she trusted Alan enough to give him the basics.

After a while, Adelaide’s answers slowly drifted off. She eventually fell into a deep but restless sleep.

“Adelaide?” Alan whispered. He smiled to himself and, hoping he wasn’t overstepping, draped a hand over her shivering form. His eyelids grew heavy and soon, everyone in their little nook was fast asleep.

#jurassic park #ian malcolm #g/t #giant/tiny #jurassic park g/t #gt #alan grant

12 notes · View notes

the-invisible-queer · 1 month

Note

Sooooo for the anon who asked (and for you of course, if you're interested), I've compiled a lazy timeline of Joe's relationship history - just things I remembered off-hand, no researching or fact-checking or anything. I'm truly sorry for how fucking long it is lmao, tbh you may want to copy and paste it into a text post so you can put a Read More bc holy shit why has this man had so many relationships and WHY DID I REMEMBER SO MUCH OF IT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. As a disclaimer my level of JB obsession has varied a lot over the years, so some of these relationships I know a lot more about than others just based on how closely I was following Joe at the time, and again I didn't research literally anything here so it's possible some of it may be misremembered. Okay here we go:

Mandy, who the OG song Mandy was written about, was the first Joe romantic interest fans ever knew about. I don’t remember anymore if they were actually even together at all or if he just like had a crush on her or something, but he was definitely into her to some degree when he was very young.

He dated AJ Michalka from Aly and AJ for some unknown length of time when they were like 15-16. He eventually revealed that she was his first kiss, she miiiiight have said he was hers too but I also could have imagined that. For a long time it was rumored that Potential Breakup Song was about him, but years and years later while answering fan questions on Twitter AJ finally said it wasn’t, but a different breakup song called Flattery was. (First known appearance of Joe Jonas: Serial Muse Extraordinaire. It would take two more strikes for him to finally seemingly learn that he should probably stop dating and dumping songwriters.)

For a hot minute he was rumored to be dating Miley’s friend/backup dancer Mandy (of The Miley and Mandy Show fame) during the Best of Both Worlds Tour, but I genuinely to this day don’t know if that was true or not lol. I remember a couple vaguely 👀 pictures existing of the two of them but they also both seemed to just be physically affectionate people in general, so they truly could have just been friends.

Joe met Taylor Swift in 2008 and, as teenagers sometimes do, they had what seemed to be a brief but intense relationship that then exploded into a dramatic mess. He famously broke up with her via a 27-second phone call, she famously exposed this on the Ellen show, and then they both spent the next couple years just publicly whacking each other at random opportunities before the bad blood (no pun intended) between them seemed to dry up and they gradually became friends, especially once Joe started dating Gigi Hadid who was already close friends with Taylor. A lot of bangers came out of this relationship and breakup on Taylor’s end – I can’t pretend that songs like Jump Then Fall and Last Kiss weren’t integral to my young Joe girl fantasies about the kind of boyfriend he was, really appreciated that very descriptive imagery – but IIRC the only JB song specifically known to be about her was Much Better. The Jaylor arc eventually wrapped up with both of them saying it was silly teen drama they laugh about now and each making gestures of amends (him changing the live lyrics of Much Better to acknowledge that they’re cool with each other, her saying she regretted putting him on blast on Ellen and should have handled it differently) and she sent him and Sophie a baby present before Willa was born. ALSO: one of my favorite bits of hilariously random Joe lore ever is that in 2015 he went to one of Taylor’s concerts and hung out with her brother, who at one point very literally had Joe’s tiny ass sitting on his shoulders while they vibed to the music. Like…okay then lmfao.

Next was Camilla Belle, who he met when she starred in the Lovebug music video. I’d be remiss not to acknowledge that the public Taylor/Camilla timeline was a bit messy and it’s not entirely clear to this day if there was any overlap or if he fully dumped Taylor before pursuing the new object of his interests, but either way it was pretty clear at the time that he didn’t really behave wonderfully there. Maybe watching Nick start living out his own fuckboy love triangle era around this time inspired him. Regardless, he and Camilla were together for I want to say several months at least before he seemed to get his heart broken pretty badly. I was kind of getting less involved in Jonas fandom by then due to some new fixation I was having instead so I don’t really remember what happened between them, if we ever even knew to begin with, but I do remember him seeming pretty torn up over her for a hot minute there. The one other bit of Camilla lore I remember was that there was apparently some drama at the beginning because Joe and Nick both liked her, which in hindsight is extremely ?????????? all around bc 1) Nick was like 16 and I'm pretty sure Camilla was like 22, he absolutely should not have even been in that conversation at all, 2) Joe probably shouldn't have been in the conversation at all either considering he literally already had a girlfriend at the time and 3) genuinely the very last thing Nick should have been doing in 2008 was trying to pick up a THIRD girl as if his plate wasn't more than full enough already? Was his little ass trying to build a harem??? ANYWAY.

I think Demi was next after Camilla, but again I was falling out of keeping close track of the Jonaii during this time so this is where things start getting pretty fuzzy. I want to say they got together at some point during the filming of Camp Rock 2, or maybe during the press tour for it? and their relationship was fairly highly-publicized, including a professional joint photoshoot and interview they did for some magazine which awkwardly released like right after they broke up lol. While Demi’s feelings seem to have been fully genuine, Joe revealed (or at least implied, I honestly never read what he said about this firsthand lol I just heard about it a lot) at some point years later that he’d felt pressured into dating her by Disney/his team for publicity reasons. I withhold judgment on that aspect since this was obviously a super fucked up situation neither of those very young people should have ever been put in by their employers in the first place, but regardless he clearly went on to hurt her in some way bc she wrote a lot of heartbroken songs about him (including some she co-wrote with Nick, which he’s said was very awkward for him lmao). The song Sorry from Fastlife – not to be confused with Sorry from ALBL, which was about Miley – is commonly thought to be about Demi, though idk if that was ever officially confirmed or not. They clearly worked things out at some point though, because for several years in the 2010s they seemed to be fairly close friends…until they weren’t anymore. It’s still not clear if something happened between them specifically or if Joe sided with his brother in whatever fallout destroyed her friendship with Nick or what, but for a while Demi appeared to be on pretty bad terms with all the brothers. Nowadays she and Joe seem to be okay with each other – they hung out at her Halloween party a few years ago and seemingly had a good time together, and I think they sometimes like each other’s IG posts and such – but alas, the glory days of their friendship seem to be over for good.

At some point somewhere in all of this Joe dated Brenda Song for like three weeks or something??? We know almost nothing about this fling except that it happened. I constantly manage to forget about this and every single time I remember I’m just as surprised as I was the first time I learned it.

I wasn’t paying much attention at all when Ashley Greene showed up in Joe’s life so I genuinely don’t remember when that happened – I feel like it could potentially have been anywhere from late-ish 2009 to early-ish 2011 – or how long they lasted. I do remember that he always seemed happy with her and from what little I saw of them I thought they looked more serious than any of his past relationships had. She apparently inspired most of Fastlife. At some point they broke up, which as far as I know wasn’t dramatic (at least not publicly) but again, I was barely keeping up with Joe at the time. Years later, he revealed in a Reddit AMA that he lost his virginity to her.

I vaguely recall him going on like one or two dates with various random women in the early 2010s, none of whom seemed to stick for very long before being replaced with another. The only somewhat notable one of these women was model Natashia Ho; we’ll come back to that in a minute.

At some point in 2012 he started dating artist Blanda Eggenschwiler, who would become his longest and most serious relationship until Sophie. They seemed very happy together and posted each other on IG a lot. At some point he got a tattoo inspired by one of her paintings, which he still has and presumably has no plans to ever remove or cover up. In early 2013 there was a wild and hysterical rumor about a sex tape of the two of them that allegedly involved, among other things, Joe getting paddled with a ball gag in his mouth – during the initial hilarious drama of this rumor dropping Natashia Ho, previously all but forgotten about by fans, tweeted “Yea sounds about right” and then deleted it shortly after which was…honestly probably still the funniest thing any Jonas ex has ever done tbh. An icon. ANYWAY: My most vivid memory from this relationship is that during the big drama of the band breaking up (though at the time we didn’t know yet that was what was going on, just that the tour that had been about to start got cancelled super suddenly and everyone was being weird and vague about why and Joe and Kevin seemed upset), we got several days of sad or anxious-looking Joe candids in a row, and then the first time we saw him smiling again after everything exploded was when Blanda was with him ❤️ Most of the fandom liked Blanda a lot and and we quietly suspected for a while there that she was the woman he was going to marry (he may have also thought this himself at one time), but alas, they shocked us all by announcing their breakup in I believe August of 2014. As far as I remember there was never any post-breakup drama or anything between them and she just kind of faded away from fandom consciousness, except for one incident I remember from a few months after the breakup where she posted like a half-finished drawing of a face that looked suspiciously similar to Joe’s on her IG, leading to a lot of speculation and debate among fans about if it was supposed to be him or not and what, if anything, it meant if it was. (The answer apparently was that it meant nothing, because they didn’t get back together or anything, although I’m not sure if that’s even what we were expecting anyway. In hindsight that whole situation was just kinda dumb and pointless lmao but it kept us entertained for days regardless.)

Joe and Gigi Hadid started dating in I want to say early 2015. I was barely paying attention at this point and genuinely have no recollection at all of how long this relationship lasted – I feel like it was pretty short-lived but idk – but it went on at least long enough for her to direct the Cake By The Ocean music video, so there’s that I guess. Gigi got back with her ex Zayn very shortly after they broke up and Joe apparently made some kind of comment (again, I never read it just heard about it) implying that he was somewhat bitter about this. When asked at some point not super long after their breakup to play Fuck/Marry/Kill with three of his famous exes, he said he would kill Gigi (and marry Demi and fuck Taylor, if anyone's curious). If there was any further Joegi lore after that, I either never knew it or don’t remember it.

Joe and Sophie started talking in DMs and then hanging out in person at some unspecified point in 2016, but weren’t publicly spotted together until late in the year – IIRC they were first seen together in group pics from some random Halloween party, but no one really seemed to put two and two together until a few days later when they were caught fully making out at a Kings of Leon concert lol. They got engaged roughly a year later in October 2017, got Vegas-married in May 2019 and then married-married in France in June 2019, and welcomed two baby girls in July 2020 and July 2022 respectively. I’m choosing to stop here bc you said you know the most recent stuff and I don’t want to make myself sad lol 🙃

OKAY WELL that was long as hell and made me feel lowkey pathetic for knowing all this lmao but hopefully it satisfied your thirst for tea, anon. Now to start working on Nick's timeline... 🫡

HOLY SHIT BESTIE

I'm on mobile so I can't actually copy and paste that whole thing so y'all gonna have to deal with it

Rest in RIP to everyone's dashes

And the fact that I did know all of these and just forgot about a few but didn't know timeliness specifically

I guess I did have Joe's dating timeline in my head at some point which is on brand because I've never actually been normal about him

Did he or did he not date Chelsea Kane (Stella on Jonas) because I saw some online speculation about it because they were hanging out a lot - fully can respect them being friends just wanna point out their onscreen chemistry was incredible so I wouldn't be surprised if it flowed into their personal life

Thank you for this run down

If anyone questions me calling Joe a whore ever again I'm gonna send them this post

#long post #long text post #text post

2 notes · View notes

rivilu · 5 months

Note

I read your notes about DAQ on that wyll vs dorian post and i just could not agree more. Specifically the thing about krem you said, i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association. Like no my inquisitioner would not say any of that shit!!! He is trans!!!! And you could tell that shit was not written by a trans person. I think they were trying to avoid using many trans specific words to fit in with the setting but like? "Why do you pass?" Is not a question that makes sense for someone to ask and i hate that theyre taking an existing trans term and trying to make it mean like....the entire concept of transitioning?? Idk i feel like i would be more ok if they could have you be like "oh dw i am also trans" but nah we as the player are just assumed to be cis. Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

Oh dont get me started I could talk about my gripes with the handling of transness in dragon age (and particularly inquisition) forever. Actually do get me started this has been a long time coming.

i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association

YEP. Yep yes exactly. your options are 'three flavors of being transphobic' or 'when did you know' . which is what i picked, because you can stretch your imagination a little at least.

But there's also this other tiny elephant in the room issue with Krem that i didnt mention in those tags. Or should i say. Bull in the room ? Because holy shit, way to take away the trans character's speaking voice and characterization so we get to know how much of an ✨Ally ✨the cis man bestie is! Like okay if you're being a transphobic shithead it makes a bit More sense that he'd get defensive and speak up for Krem, but when your question was 'when did you know', Krem answers 'when i was young. not a great thing to know about yourself' and then Bull immediately cuts in to cisplain transness is like? What was the Idea there. Which then makes the dialogue choices being 90% straight up transphobia MORE suspicious, because the game is letting you, almost pushing you to verbally harass Krem.. almost like he doesn't REALLY matter, he's just a vessel to see how Progressive And Trans Friendly And A Good Friend Bull is. Thanks, i hate it.

Even in terms of backstory Bull being Krems savior when he was trying to escape his life etc never really sat right with me. Like there's an underlying demsel vibe i feel the devs stuck in there that really irks me. Not helped by the fact that we dont have a trans voice actor. Also not helped by the fact that this is a fantasy setting with magic but some form of magic hrt? Nah too impossible. Like sure there's some implication that it MIGHT exist somewhere but because magic Bad in the dragon age setting and tevinter magic Even Worse he wouldn't go for it- Like ok. some people might prefer their trans realism in faux medieval media. even fantasy. Im not one of those people. And all those justifications read more like excuses to me. Like you're telling me the circles wouldn't be making BANK out of selling trans-your-gender potions and abusing the shit out of it? And just. Again this makes the setting retroactively much Worse because where before i could point to my warden or Hawke and go 'yeah that's a trans man via magic hrt' and someone who prefers trans realism could ALSO do the same when making theirs how they like. Vagueness in such matters allows for imagination! But now dai is saying noo they had to be cis. And your inquisitor also. Fuck that.

Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

one tiny correction here. there were hints of transphobia in the first two games, but it was mostly contained in like. Oghren style aged like milk type humor. more meta than text i guess. like in the Pearl in game one if you ask to be surprised there's a chance you get the ever hilarious 'haha you got man in a dress' *crickets* And then Serendipity in mark of the assassin.. well the wiki says she's meant to be a drag queen. So not 100% related to this discussion. But the execution of her character just felt SO mean spirited to me when i was playing that i felt it needed to be mentioned as well. (So i just love her out of spite now. ) But anyway yeah. Out of all the lgbtq things dragon age touches on i feel like gender is one that they. dont really even try to tackle in good faith. And it just got worse as the games went on. I can handle easily skippable side gags that are shitty and unfunny. Inquisition tries to actually bring ATTENTION to the topic, and proceeds to fall flat on its face. Not to mention Sera. Them having one of the main companions being transphobic in banter.

Bioware when I catch you Bioware. Bioware when i catch you.

#sorry this got very long sjdf #ask #long post #dai critical

4 notes · View notes

sortanonymous · 4 months

Text

I drew Queen Pikiria in Meta Knightmare! (plus some info on her and also someone else's much better drawing of her) (Part 1!)

It was a painful mess of flipping between different colorized versions, but I've drawn my AU/fic's version of Pikiria, adopted daughter of Sectonia & Taranza and the Crown Princess-turned-Queen of Floralia. (Based off Pirka from the light novels, but so different in personality, background, and name that she's essentially an OC.) I definitely could have drawn it better (I probably should have added a Dreamstalk flower to the center of the bow, but not only is it too late, but it's a pain drawing either that bow or any kind of flowers), but I feel like this was an okay first effort. Forget mine though, because also after giving a suggestion and a tiny bit of coloring advice, here's the (official?) colorized version of Aiden Stolidus's (aka "insane guy") much better drawing on Amino, even if there's no crown! (Yes, that site still exists and I still look around on there even though I never post.) Honestly, if you need any art of this character as a basis for your own, AU or not, this is the definitive answer. They knocked it out of the park! (Don't worry, I got permission.)

Now take rather randomly organized some info and HCs on her under the cut, even if I might just reuse them for a bigger post if I draw her Spydeair parents soon (and also some of these are carried over from that "How Sectonia and Taranza Became Pikiria's Parents" post from a while back, which itself was half a Cliffnotes version of the Our Little Miracle fic)! (SPOILERS FOR META KNIGHTMARES II AND III, OF COURSE)

She's a Fairie, a species of fairies distantly related to the Spydeair species. (Might also have just a bit of relation to the Ripple Star fairies, but not a lot and I'm not sure.)

These first few points will simply summarize things you can already find in the fics, but I'll bring them up for context. To summarize her adoption yet again (Our Little Miracle), she floated into relatively-newlywed Sectonia and Taranza's garden hours after her birth and after some weeks of taking care of her and eventually deducing how she got here, they happily adopted her as the Crown Princess of Floralia.

Fast forward to her 12th birthday, which was also Sectonia's 35th birthday (The Insane Following Stuff, specifically chapters 5-11). After meeting (most of) the Meta-Knights and getting them to Sectonia just in time for both the queen's surprise b-day party and an attack by Dark Mind's Mirror World forces (long story short, DMK has beef with Secty's family here), she had to use her lightning-fast Fairie wings to save her father from getting crushed by debris. That night, she learned that she'd immediately have to fly all the way out to the planet Skyhigh to be trained for her future for the next 236 months like a glorified college. (Her parents had known this since she was like 6, but were always vague on telling her and just didn't want to think about it.) She emotionally said farewell before flying off into space.

About four and a half years later (chapters 17 and 21-25 of The Insane Following Stuff, to be exact), she had done very well on Skyhigh, taking after her mother and becoming a spectacular and speedy dual-wielding swordswoman nicknamed "Pikiria the Quick", although she was still rather homesick and waiting for a good time to spend her single vacation day. That came sooner than expected when her mother, after over four years of emotional struggles (from Pikiria's departure and fear of Dark Mind's forces) compounded by the Dimensional Mirror's grip on her, caused the darkness transmitted from it to take over and her to have a meltdown. Upon detecting her telepathic cry for help/farewell in a nightmare, she immediately rocketed back to Royal Road just in time to stop her possessed mother from killing the Knights, and both she and her father were able to comfort her and let her regain control. After staying for the next 24 hours to reconnect with and check on her parents, as her mother slowly started to recover, she emotionally went back to Skyhigh.

Once those 236 months were up (chapters 13-18 of The Later Roller Coaster), she had just gotten ready to return home for good and become Floralia's top defender/crown princess when she got another urgent telepathic message from her father and rushed back in panic. In the last few weeks, her mother's corruption had come back with a vengeance and the entire kingdom was on the brink. She reunited with her father and after launching the Dreamstalk mission with him and the people as a last-ditch effort to save both the kingdom and hopefully her mother, she got the Knights up to Royal Road. But the plan imploded down the stretch and right after watching her father get blasted out the window by her warped mother (which she thought killed him), she and Meta were forced into a battle with DMK/Shadow Knight, her mother's (even further corrupted) corrupter. While they did force him to retreat into space, Pikiria was in horror as her mother in Dreamstalk form seemed moments away from death when Hypernova Kirby had the beam pointed toward her. While a sympathetic Kirby did use the beam to instead severely weaken her corruption, thus giving the family a brief moment of reconnection and joy, with the corruption still deep within her, Sectonia went into slumber to fend off the darkness until a potential cure was found. Right before though, she asked Pikiria to succeed her and Taranza on the throne to become Floralia's new queen and clean up the mess just made, which she emphatically agreed to.

Nearly two and a half years after that (chapters 21-24 of The Later Roller Coaster), when the Star Dream crisis happened, she flew into the Access Ark alongside the Knights and eventually had to rush out, though not before she had to fight a clone of her mother's corrupted form. She was able to defeat her through her memories of her real mother's swordfighting technique and escape alongside the crew, but after witnessing a certain shocking loss on the way out, she returned home with even more appreciation for her father.

The story continues in Meta Knightmare IV: The Unforgettable Star-Studded Finale later this year!

MORE HC's COMING SOON IN PART 2!

#kirby #kirby au #kirby fanfic #meta knightmare fanfic #pikiria #pirka kirby #queen sectonia #sectonia #taranza

1 note · View note

bravewolfvesperia · 2 months

Note

"I'm going to yell at you later, but for now, I'm just glad that you're okay." (After..... Aurnion maybe.....?)

@mistralxsoul

"Hey, hey, leave out the yelling. It's not like I wanted that to happen. I promise I wasn't doing anything reckless." They both knew what he meant generally speaking - that he hadn't planned to get injured nor fall from Zaude, but he wasn't about to mess things up for Flynn by telling him the truth. That was for Sodia herself to confess to. Unless Yuri really thought it was necessary to protect Flynn's feelings, he didn't want it to come out sounding malicious, almost as if he was intentionally trying to tear a captain (well, commandant now) and lieutenant apart.

But it was still the truth that he didn't want nor plan for that to happen. If he could have gotten up sooner, he would have. It was never his intention to leave everyone, much less Flynn, wondering if he had even survived. Most of them probably had assumed the worst already by the time he woke up, even if they tried to insist to him that they kept hoping.

For now, Yuri always kept any description of Zaude brief and vague. After the fight with Alexei, he had fallen off the edge. The stab wound, which by now was mostly healed and would probably scar for a few years (hopefully not more), he would have to white lie about when at least Flynn inevitably found out about it. There was a battle before he'd fallen after all, and there was also debris.

If Flynn mentioned it looked like a dagger wound, well... he'd have to just skirt around it. Say he didn't know why, because most of what happened was a fog now. Say that he didn't really remember what it was from. All he would be able to do is hope Flynn accepted the answer and reasoned that he'd been wounded and in a coma. Unfortunately if he did attribute it to a dagger, the only people Yuri could think of off the top of his head who had a dagger that they knew and who were up on Zaude... were Raven and Sodia. Deducing what happened from there was... probably pretty easy.

"Still, I'm sorry that happened and that I was gone so long. I'd think you'd understand if I said it was out of my control, right? It's not like I'd ever want you to be that terrified for me. That something happened to me. I know I can get reckless, but with how high up Zaude was and with it having no fencing, I did try to be more careful." And in fairness, that core had shattered right near him. With only speculation, most of them if not all of them probably came to the conclusion there was little need to ask what happened. The gust's force from that core could have easily blown a human off their feet.

"Besides, you were hurt there too, and you were way more reckless than me. I think I deserve to be spared from the lecture later after you took that hit for me." It wasn't like Yuri didn't know how Flynn felt. It wasn't exactly the same, but Yuri had been mortified when Flynn took that hit. If there wasn't so much adrenaline going on in multiple directions at the time, Yuri would have dropped everything to look after Flynn and make sure he wasn't dying from that hit. How he was still even capable of pushing himself to fight after that was beyond Yuri, and he should probably keep that way for his own sanity.

"So, we were both knocked around a bit on Zaude. I think that makes us even." He knew it wouldn't quell that fear Flynn felt and that was probably amplified now. How any small thing could cause him terror now just from that experience. He reached a hand out and tugged at Flynn's, pulling him slightly closer and holding with a strong grip in apology and hopefully comfort. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm not just saying that so you don't yell at me, by the way." His lips formed a tiny, if slightly rueful, smile. "I just really do wish you didn't have to go through that or feel that way thinking I was gone."

#mistralxsoul #{ ic asks }#{ verse: canon }#/ see it's okay we don't need duo flynns scolding him!!! it's all okay now!!! /

1 note · View note

creativeflowers87 · 4 months

Text

FEBUWHUMP 12

CW: Illness

AN: how is this my first actual sickfic

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

If Calixto is pretending not to be sick, it is doing a godawful job at it.

Even from across the room, with her terrible eyesight, Emery can see that her crush— no, friend is definitely struggling. It is a few tones more flushed than usual, and every time it thinks no one is looking, it presses its forehead up against the window, or on the kitchen countertop, or on their glass of water.

Still, it is Calixto, and Calixto knows how to take care of itself.

Reassured, Emery strolls over to where Calixto is sitting on their couch. Well, sitting is a loose term to describe the way that Calixto is flopped across the arm of the couch and leaning on the wall, somehow.

Emery gets the feeling that Calixto has no idea what it's doing either.

"Hey, Calio!" Emery says, using Calixto's head as an armrest.

It takes a second more than usual to respond. "Oh, hiya Em," it says.

Emery grins. "Nyxie's out doing her own thing," she says, "and that means we can cook whatever."

Calixto turns to her, a tired smile on its face. "Yeah?"

"Consider: Ice-cream for dinner."

Calixto huffs, turning away a bit. "We know how you get when you have sugar," it says, "Terrible idea. Also, I'm not even hungry for anything."

Emery has already started to walk off, about to get the ice-cream anyways, when she spins back around, confused. "You're not hungry?" she asks.

Calixto shrugs. "I dunno, just not feelin' like anythin' today."

Emery stares for a moment, then shrugs. If Calixto thinks it's fine, it's probably fine.

Right?

---

Calixto is definitely not fine.

It coughs again, its throat feeling like it's half-closed up from whatever's stuck in it. It shivers again, pulling the thin blanket covering most of its body up to its chin, before kicking the sheets off its legs. It's cold, then hot, then cold again...

Calixto closes its eyes for a moment, before blinking them open. Really, it's spent way too long in bed, it should probably get food, something like that.

It tries to sit up, but the world spins and it feels so heavy that it has to slump back down with a whine, tears forming in its eyes. Why is it crying?

Calixto rolls over onto its side, trying its best to get rid of whatever icky feeling got in it. It sniffles. If it was feeling just a tiny bit better, it would be up and ready to actually get things done, or something. Possibly. Okay, definitely not. Still, it's the thought that counts.

It twists again under the blankets, the sheets seeming almost to scratch under its skin. It blinks its eyes open for a moment, but the light of what Calixto thinks is the lantern on their desk burns the back of its eyes.

It curls up as far under the blanket as it can in a feeble attempt to conserve body heat. As its senses start to fade, it can vaguely hear the screech of the front door, then, silence.

---

When Emery peeks inside Calixto's room, she doesn't fully expect to see it curled up under a blanket, shivering like it's been stuck outside for hours. For all she knows, that could've happened. It's been a while since she'd been home, after all.

Emery enters the room and sets herself on the edge of the bed, taking in Calixto's overly flushed face and its slightly pained expression. She sets a hand on its forehead, pulling away when she feels how warm she is. Her face creases in concern. "Hey, Calio?" she whispers, even though she already vaguely knows that it won't answer.

To her surprise, Calixto lets out a scratchy hum and shifts slightly closer to Emery, head pressing up against her hand. Like a cat, Emery muses.

Emery shakes her head, forcefully removing herself from that train of thought. She has someone actually under her care now. Somehow.

She heads over to the bathroom, grabbing what she's pretty sure is fever medicine and returning to Calixto's room. She places the bottle on Calixto's bedside table and stares a bit at Calixto. Surely it wouldn't be able to sit up to take the meds properly. Emery would have to sit it up herself. It does seem to be sleeping mostly peacefully, though, and she would hate to stop it from having a good rest that might be the first it'd had in a while.

Emery thinks for a bit, before coming to the conclusion that it can probably go back to sleep okay if it takes a sleep potion first, and grabs that first before starting to try to wake Calixto up.

It takes a couple good shakes, but after a second, bleary eyes stare back up at her. Emery gives it a smile. "Hey, Calio," she says.

Calixto stares almost through Emery, as if it either can't see her or doesn't believe she's there.

Emery doesn't know which option is more concerning.

Emery shakes off these thoughts. " 'Kay, Calio," she says, "Uhm, so, just... drink this, please?" She holds out a small, carefully measured dose of liquid fever medicine to Calixto's lips. It makes no sign of comprehension, but starts to sip it anyways.

Calixto, to its credit, drinks most of the medicine, but at some point, makes a strange face and seems to be trying to spit it back out.

Emery frowns. "No, uhm, please don't do that?" she says, picking up her sleep potion-spiked water and holding it to Calixto's mouth again.

This time, Calixto downs the water concerningly quickly. Emery does not want to know how long it's gone without water for it to down the glass this fast. Still, there is water in its system now, so it should be at least mostly okay.

Sure enough, as she looks over Calixto, it seems to already be falling asleep again. Emery breathes a sigh of relief and starts to leave, not wanting to relive that experience ever again. However, as she stands, Calixto seems to try to pull Emery back to the bed. With a huff, Emery kneels down next to it. "What's it?" she says.

Calixto starts to move its mouth, no sound coming out, and tears are forming in its eyes.

Emery furrows her eyebrows, concerned. "Hey, hey," she says, "what's wrong?"

Calixto's silent for another second, before whispering, in a tiny, broken, voice, "...fuckin' ostriches..."

Emery is so taken aback by this statement that she starts to laugh, but stops herself. "Uhm, what do you mean?" she says.

Calixto just shrugs.

Emery shakes her head and pulls back, but instead of leaving the room, pulls a chair over to the bedside, and tries to get comfortable.

This is going to be a long night.

#cw illness #flowers.docx #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday12

0 notes

punkscowardschampions · 2 years

Text

Casey & Janis Pt.3

Janis: [just getting back, making the smallest of talk with Bobby if he’s about and then going to our bedroom like goodnight bye]

Casey: [meanwhile you know he’s not even coming in, he’s waiting long enough to see her go through the door and however long to justify to himself and his trust and abandonment issues that she’s not coming straight back out and leaving again and he’s driving off to do god knows what with god knows who]

Janis: [such fun fun times, we’ll just try not to kms]

Casey: [tempted to have you end up at Ian’s after whatever the hell you’ve done re getting off your face and fucking whoever because it do be where you go when you literally feel like there’s nowhere else and you could fight him always so]

Janis: [that makes sense, oh lord, can message you even if he do not reply just to set that vibe]

Casey: [I was thinking that maybe it’s so late when he gets there after all his bebopping etc and he’s so drunk/high/both they won’t even let him in, but he do be creating so Ian will come out if we wanna bring that brawl energy to it for the patching up of it all, cos I’m also thinking unlike the Archie moment, this time he should call her]

Janis: [awkward moment when this really isn’t all that long before, too much ‘parenting’ for Ian thank you; but yes, we can do that]

Casey: [the way he drove an hour to Ian’s in that state, please take the keys off him at least so I can use that as my excuse to call, so yeah it’s god knows what o clock truly and he’s just ringing and ringing til she wakes up and answers ‘get him up’ before she even has chance to say anything, bold of you to assume he isn’t now you’ve blown this phone up but okay]

Janis: [‘obviously not’ thank God we’re a light/shit sleeper so we’re not like hello who’s this ‘what do you need?’]

Casey: [‘obviously fucking do it, I’d not be telling you to for a pisstake’ cos true, never been that bitch]

Janis: [‘so tell me what you need and I’ll decide if we’re waking him up or not, not the only option’]

Casey: [‘he picks me up or the garda do and if we’re waiting for them I might as well give more of a show than I have done’ the tone like ugh the garda again, cos that literally just happened lol, just threatening to what, kill your father, tear his house down bit by bit, would love to know]

Janis: [just so quiet you might think the line is dead for a sec or she’s gone but then doing the biggest sigh ‘where are you then’]

Casey: [‘dad’s’ in a tone like duh you should just know, obviously I’m here ‘where else, but he’s took the keys off us somehow’ lowkey genuinely surprised that Ian was able in our voice there, it very much does betray the state of you tbh]

Janis: [‘I’m done making educated guesses even’ but our tone shows we aren’t actually surprised, just disappointed of course ‘think he’d be proud you’re in a worse state than him, really’ like that’s his speed when he’s not just being abusive ‘you had a fight then, yeah?’ phrasing it as a question to stick with our no guessing but obviously, we know]

Casey: [‘sounded like such a mum then’ and he sounds like such a sad child when he says it that I’m upset ‘he started it, not letting me in’ again just a tiny child but an angry one there ‘bit one sided to call a fight though’ cos you know even in this state he’s doing more damage to Ian than he is to him and he blatantly can’t feel any injuries he does have rn so they don’t exist]

Janis: [‘she actually is, to actual kids, like’ like of course they didn’t let you in boy, you mess but we feel guilty so it doesn’t sound as angry as all that ‘he’s old, you’re young, stupid and full of chemicals’ just clearly moving around in the background, pacing or whatever ‘right, I’ll wake him up then, stay put’]

Casey: [‘he’s my actual dad’ bit petty to these children and teen girls but true ‘meant to bloody be’ just the vague sounds of him trying again to get in this gaff/damage it as a fuck you, boy stop it ‘you can say fit, before you do, if you like’ cos when she said young that’s where my head went so say it and Jimothy’ll never know energy ‘I know you reckon I am’]

Janis: [‘whiskey tastes better than blood, or however the saying goes’ like I know soothing vibes but YOU know he’s shit too; the sound of our hair ‘cos we’re shaking our head, amused ‘you don’t sound that fit, stop huffing and puffing it’s like working babestation’ ‘cos we know what you’re doing over there obviously ‘I know you reckon you are, Case’]

Casey: [a lol for the babestation comment cos it’s funny ‘you’d be good at that’ is that a compliment or shade or both, sir, the sounds of him nearly dropping his phone or something probably ‘and it’s the one thing I ain’t wrong about, you could fucking let me have it, babe’ babe for babestation lol, cos he’s wrong about Ian and you and everything do be how he feels tonight]

Janis: [‘keep it in mind but you have to call the proper number’ like not doing this for free, obviously ‘oi, clumsy, didn’t say you weren’t’ calm down vibes but truly in the non-antagonising way for once ‘your hands fucked or what?’ like why you being so clumsy, keeping it conversational]

Casey: [‘mates rates?’ cos just asking if you’re still mates really even though we, the gals writing this, know the answer ‘I dunno, mate’ mate again cos that’s where his head is and genuinely he does not know if his hands are fucked or not rn, it’s a shambles ‘or what is right’ cos what is going on, cannot tell you, cannot feel none of this]

Janis: [‘I suppose so, mate’ like as it’s you ‘you reckon you can do me a favour too?’]

Casey: [‘yeah’ cos literally always would and will ‘go on’]

Janis: [‘thanks’ and a noise like oh good ‘let Jimmy check you over when he gets there, will you?’ Just biting the inside of our cheek ‘best behaviour, yeah’]

Casey: [‘what would I let him touch me for?’ with such ew fuck no thank you I don’t wanna do that sulky energy ‘even if it is one of your fantasies, like, I’m alright for it’ cos bants forever even now ‘I’ll not tell him what happened, what you done, how’s that?’ like there’s your favour instead, genuinely]

Janis: [sigh but make it sound more bants than it was ‘alright, spoilsport, long as you’re nice, guess that’s okay’ because we can deal with any injuries when you’re back, unless they are life-threatening, which they are not so it’s fine lol]

Casey: [‘too nice, me, weren’t it?’]

Janis: [‘oh, your memory got knocked back in, has it? audible smirk ‘how nice for you’]

Casey: [‘nowt wrong with my memory, how many times you need telling?’ and just telling her over and over til she cuts him off with whatever she says next like a nerd]

Janis: [laughing like alright alright ‘okay that was your parrot what other impressions can you do?’]

Casey: [do one of Ian and his missus from a bit ago obvs, and do a shady one of Jimothy as if he’s on his way, bit rude as he is coming to get you but]

Janis: [‘you asked for him, boy’ like take what you’re given, sir but we did have a lol at the rest]

Casey: [‘are you coming?’ cos the way he sincerely wants that in this moment despite everything else that has happened]

Janis: [‘I’ll be waiting at home’ ‘cos probably already given Jimmy his orders and we didn’t think you wanted us/really wouldn’t be the best idea ‘someone’s gotta patch you up if you won’t gay on your brother’ like need to be here to set up my nursing station, obvs]

Casey: [‘hour away’ so sadly like he might cry but obvs is not gonna cos not that bitch]

Janis: [‘we can talk’]

Casey: [‘I never thought you’d answer’ did not believe she’d pick up this phone when she saw it was us, regardless of the o clock which we’re not even thinking about]

Janis: [‘Of course I did’ pause ‘did you not want me to?’]

Casey: [‘I’d have rung his to go to voicemail’ cos true Jimothy ain’t waking up, he clearly wanted to speak to you and you only]

Janis: [‘Fair’ like that makes sense ‘you know I’m sorry, don’t you’ ‘cos if we can’t say it when you’re wasted, when can we]

Casey: [‘I’m sorry, I’m the dickhead, always’ because it’s giving Jimothy vibes aka Ian fucking with your head and making you feel like nothing vibesm]

Janis: [‘Nah, you’re not’ with no hesitation or doubt like nope, not true ‘but I’ll take your sorry if you take mine, right’]

Casey: [‘okay’ cos it’s important, the soft sad tones are out]

Janis: [‘I’m sorry about Ian and about fucking your head and everything else’ with our own sad voice ‘cos we can hear yours]

Casey: [‘fuck it, how are you, how’s my real bestie?’ cos if he doesn’t try and lighten the mood he will simply die and baby Jac love 5eva]

Janis: [just a proper oh you laugh because alright, let’s just have a chat then ‘she’s asleep, still much better behaved than you are’ ‘cos they do chill when they’re asleep which is so strange lol you have to keep an eye on their standard movement vibe so you don’t freak yourself out like she dead]

Casey: [‘be nice, that’ to go to sleep, yes, but to go to sleep with you right now, yes x 100000 obvs, is what he’s really saying]

Janis: [‘when you’re here’ so we can check you aren’t concussed but we can make it sound nice too, don’t judge us]

Casey: [‘you’re gonna stay with me?’ almost a whisper like dare I imagine that’s what you just said and what you mean]

Janis: [‘yep’ again, unspoken, no choking on your own vomit too ‘can find out the sleeping bag’]

Casey: [‘no need, I heard you, best behaviour’]

Janis: [‘not worried about you, mate’]

Casey: [‘that there’s a massive lie’ cos yeah you are, always worrying]

Janis: [‘alright, not like that, then’ like how’s that for honesty]

Casey: [‘no shit, I’d never do owt to you that you didn’t really want me to’ emphasis on really cos you didn’t want it enough earlier gal ‘been through all that bollocks in the car a bit ago’]

Janis: [‘is that how you feel? Like I did that to you?’ ‘cos fully how it sounded to us we’re like oh God]

Casey: [‘what are you on about?’ because no we can’t fathom what you’re talking about when it’s that obvious to us and from our POV obvious to everyone else as well how we feel cos ain’t never been subtle]

Janis: [‘it sounded like you went through some trauma in the car, how you said it’ but we’re already breathing a sigh of relief like okay, that wasn’t what he was saying, clearly]

Casey: [‘only the usual’ by which we mean being cockblocked by you and you not wanting us as has been the vibe for the last decade lol as well as dying from the TENSION extra hard on that day specifically]

Janis: [‘are you gonna tell me I’m a criminal or not?’ like I can’t deal with this vagueness rn]

Casey: [‘piss off, didn’t even steal no cake with me’]

Janis: [‘you wouldn’t go get my cake’ like that’s the biggest tragedy of this day]

Casey: [‘you wouldn’t look at me’ cos to him that is]

Janis: [‘I was just embarrassed’ the just is an understatement but literal not you it was me]

Casey: [‘for what? I loved it’ cos he can just blurt that out in this state]

Janis: [love a drunk convo baby, just so relieved and frankly buzzing ‘I wanted to do more, but it’s alright’]

Casey: [‘then you should’ve, can do when I get back’ because the same drunken honesty and no fucks, bless you sir but the state of you, no that won’t be happening]

Janis: [‘no, I have to look after you first’ as if that’s the only reason, no need to be a killjoy when he is going to remember none of this anyway]

Casey: [‘I’m alright, you’ll see, and when you have I’ll be able to look after you’ in a saucy sense obviously, as if that wasn’t blatant]

Janis: [‘I wish’]

Casey: [‘I will, Oi, call me back I’ll show you’ like please facetime me so you can see I’m not injured and dtf even though he is at least a little bit but okay boy]

Janis: [‘as you have to behave when your brother gets there…’ like go on then and do ring him back facetime vibes]

Casey: [just a really close up of his face immediately like look and then as immediately showing her your whole face and body panning down but it’s so quick and blurry and out of focus cos the state of you so not actually helpful]

Janis: [‘Oi, slow down’ but very soft like let me see you as if we’re being saucy ‘cos we need to do our nurse duties]

Casey: [‘that’s how you want it, yeah? Hang on, I’ll be SO slow, promise you’ a nice bit of foreshadowing to when you first hook up and he is, being slow af as possible, so even though it’s probably still a bit out of focus and the lighting is terrible cos outside at god knows what time, you’ll at least be able to see he’s not really badly hurt]

Janis: [can smile properly and you can think it’s all your work, boy and not at least half relief ‘that’s better’]

Casey: [‘it is’ cos we can see you when we’re not bebopping this phone around and it does make him feel better ‘bit rude of you to be looking like that but I’m not fuming’]

Janis: [‘me neither now’ and making a point to make eye contact like see, I’m looking at you loads now too ‘you’re a bit blurry though’ like you do be trashed hun]

Casey: [‘oh what?’ and an adorable ffs scowl like it’s the phone’s fault, pressing things and probably doing all sorts accidentally here lol]

Janis: [just giggling ‘put that filter back on’ ‘cos you’re a cute mess even if you are a mess, soz]

Casey: [do because always doing what we’re told even when we are a mess ‘this one?’ and pissing about ‘or did you mean?’]

Janis: [‘perfect’ when you look the most ridiculous of course]

Casey: [‘you’re perfect’ you’re jeans cos he’s wasted and I can]

Janis: [‘it was definitely too nice’ like I have remembered now ‘cos blushing]

Casey: [‘us touching like that was’ cos as always too into it despite the fact you barely did anything]

Janis: [nodding ‘very’ because we all were and it was]

Casey: [just a sound that he could not make at the time, cos we’re thinking about it]

Janis: [‘baby’ v quiet but we wanna]

Casey: [‘you came back for me’ cos it means so much to us even if it was only from Ali’s]

Janis: [‘I could tell you needed me, no bullshit’]

Casey: [‘I always do need you’ like no bullshit there either thank you]

Janis: [‘that’s why I miss you’]

Casey: [‘it hurts how much’ both how much we need and miss you and it hurts in a physical, emotional and literally saucy way so]

Janis: [‘yeah’ ‘cos confirmed, at least you are both in that together]

Casey: [when you can feel that but not getting hit by your father, her power, her influence]

Janis: [‘least you get to fuck some of it away’ not trying to be sarky like good for you but genuine ‘cos we are not and it is a problem lol]

Casey: [‘give me the hour’ like I literally volunteer to do it ASAP as soon as I return ‘then’]

Janis: [‘you’re cute, you’re forgetting where we live though’ like shh, not gonna happen I’m already gutted]

Casey: [‘I’ll be quiet’ no you would not ‘and keep you it an’ all’ slightly more believable but]

Janis: [shhing you now like have a go then]

Casey: [doing the zip/padlock his lips thing and nearly dropping his phone again]

Janis: [‘you’re so sleepy’ like that is all this current state is ‘but we will’]

Casey: [just signing something to the effect of no I’m not cos still being quiet]

Janis: [sign ‘you will be’]

Casey: [signing that whatever club drug you took has already worn off because they never last long so legit like and I’m still not sleepy thank you, love to know how you’re doing that drug slang]

Janis: [‘bit rude of you to when you know I LOVE drugs’ can’t even get drunk or high either, lol, so much fun for you hen]

Casey: [‘we weren’t mates or I’d have shared’ spoken this time, soz baby Jac that we are forgetting about you for a sec here]

Janis: [‘next time?’ like we gonna be mates then]

Casey: [‘okay, you can come out with me’ like of course I’ll take you clubbing and share my drugs with you tomorrow or whenever lol]

Janis: [‘you’re a pretty good friend, you know’]

Casey: [I’ll make you feel too good, even if they don’t, what else are mates for?’]

Janis: [‘sounds like bestie behaviour, I won’t tell’ like baby Jac won’t find out from me]

Casey: [when you are reminded she exists and do such dramatic oh shit type behaviour you do drop your phone actually but catch it before it hits the ground in one of those fluke wasted type of moves putting his face right up to this phone like he’s got said face to the bump kind of energy ‘I’m sorry, baby, I’ll not do it’ calling her baby cos she’s a literal baby haha]

Janis: [tut like typical but we’re smiling ‘right cockblock, her’]

Casey: [‘meant I could touch you’ cos she’s really not actually ‘don’t be letting me forget she exists, dickhead’]

Janis: [making a noise like oh yeah, don’t let me forget that then]

Casey: [‘somewhere I’m allowed to put my hand whenever and wherever and no dickhead is bothered’ like thanks for that truly bub]

Janis: [‘it felt-’ ‘more’ like considering what y’all were actually doing]

Casey: [‘I know’ cos it did and I doubt that’s the first time y’all have had to make the most out of fuck all touch or the tiniest moment in this decade but this was really something else today, just making another sound thinking about it nbd]

Janis: [clearly not and it remains a thing which implies it had to be before tbh, just making noise in reaction to yours ‘I really, really wish I didn’t get up, we stayed doing that’]

Casey: [‘where do you wanna touch me?’ like sis I’ll do it for you now, does not care he’s in this garden waiting on Jimothy and god knows where Ian is]

Janis: [big think like how do I decide when EVERYWHERE also we shouldn’t push this because we’re sober but we’re also very frustrated so hard to remember that fully ‘your face, you said you wanted me to’]

Casey: [doing it while looking at her like ? cos is this good or do you want me to do it different/somewhere different on my face]

Janis: [‘you are fit, you can have it’ just heart eyes at your cute face rn ‘try like this’ and just bringing all the attention to your lips, model experience come through]

Casey: [‘you’re so fucking fit’ you’re so fucking jeans, but soz she is, and there’s no way drawing all that attention to her own lips hasn’t utterly derailed him from even trying to do it for a sec and just LOOKING at her so hard]

Janis: [‘the way you look at me’ we’re not fine, we’re not okay at all ‘your eyes are like’ shaking our head like can’t explain]

Casey: [‘I have to keep it all in my head for when you’re not about to be looked at, and for when nobody else is’ like just admitting on main what we do in our alone time and also that we literally use other girls while we’re thinking about you nbd

Janis: [‘I haven’t thought about anyone else since, I told you my head was full of you too, I meant it’ we mean since this pregnancy but don’t need to fully out that right now sis ‘thinking about you, thinking about me’ hiding our face in our hair]

Casey: [‘come here’ as if we can make her through the screen cos we want you back and we wanna be able to touch and move that hair so badly ourself rn it’s actually frustrating]

Janis: [‘okay’ and moving super close to the phone like a nerd, at least you can hear how we’re breathing now]

Casey: [just listening to it and not saying anything so we can fully hear it for a bit until we literally have to say ‘fuck’ with all the feeling because it’s just getting to us that much, only that and nothing else, she’s literally only breathing but]

Janis: [‘you should be sober’ just wanna take this so much further not at all casually]

Casey: [‘I am’ he’s not but that’s how it would feel because so turned on rn that’s his entire focus and all there is, like when going outside in the cold gives you that sobering up feeling but more intense obvs]

Janis: [‘you should remember this, or it’s well selfish of me’]

Casey: [‘how could I not?’ cos again how it feels rn but you’re not going to, boy, you’ll remember ringing her maybe but no deets]

Janis: [‘I’ll make a deal with you, I’ll make myself cum thinking about you right now but you can’t see, not yet’ just like how is that ‘cos clearly going to happen whether we informed you or otherwise]

Casey: [the most adorably pouty face at first cos CLEARLY we wanna see that and we wanna see it now but then we’re just thinking about how hot this will still be and how it’s more than anything else we’ve had to remember, still thinking he’s going to, soz boy, like if you do remember anything about how she sounds when she cums you will think you just fantasised and or dreamt about it yet again, can literally see the cogs turning in his head, finally ‘you’ve got one, but what’s my part of the deal?’ Like what do you want me to do gurl]

Janis: [just watching you so seriously like is this gonna happen, was that too much, ahh so we’re obviously buzzing like thank God you didn’t shoot me down again lmao ‘don’t you wanna cum too, ‘fore you get in a car for an hour?’]

Casey: [‘do you wanna watch me?’ because drunk so we’re not bothered about making deals that are fair at all]

Janis: [our face betraying us because obviously but ‘no facetime’ because must not]

Casey: [‘pictures?’ again are not bothered that you’re doing more here]

Janis: [‘just let me hear you, I have loads of times’ because true and hence we’ve rationalised this is okay lol]

Casey: [just a noise like ugh okay FINE but not actually annoyed hence we’re like ‘hear that?’ in a bants way]

Janis: [‘you can be mad’ keeping the bants going here]

Casey: [‘I can’t, I’m too-’ no need to finish that sentence, we all know exactly how you feel rn boy]

Janis: [‘we can make each other feel better’]

Casey: [the quietest but hottest ‘please’ ever cos you both need this to a ridiculous level]

Janis: [the noise sis ‘say it again’]

Casey: [do, even more indecently than you did the first time]

Janis: [‘I can still feel where your hands were on my stomach, whilst mine are-’]

Casey: [the NOISE though]

Janis: [‘if I did this in the car, would you’ve stopped me? You knew I needed it’]

Casey: [‘only so I could start, you need me’ like no no I’d have touched you in this scenario let’s not get it twisted]

Janis: [‘move your hands down just a little then, no one will notice’]

Casey: [‘they can if they want, long as they don’t get mardy we ain’t noticing them back’]

Janis: [‘I can only think of how you stroked my belly’]

Casey: [‘I can’t stop thinking about it either, haven’t been able to no matter what else were going on’]

Janis: [‘I’m glad you stayed with me, still in the car’]

Casey: [‘I stayed for [however long he did] still in there outside the house, I’m glad you never came back out’]

Janis: [a pouty noise ‘I’ll try to be glad but-’]

Casey: [‘I’m only chuffed that I can trust you’ cos obvs would have loved it if you came back out for saucy reasons too ngl]

Janis: [‘I promise I’m not going nowhere’]

Casey: [‘I’ll not leave you either’ cos we do mean it in this moment even though you clearly are gonna move out cos we’ve said that’s a thing that happens pre-Archie so]

Janis: [in this moment it matters not, we’re giving you the reaction you deserve ‘I need you so fucking bad’]

Casey: [‘I can fucking hear how much you mean it’ cos we can and you’ll be able to hear what that’s doing with how his voice sounds]

Janis: [going harder ‘you make me this wet every fucking day, you should taste it’]

Casey: [‘tell me I can clean you up too’ cos patching us up with the blood etc when we get back]

Janis: [‘I’ve never felt your tongue’ as if that’s something that should’ve happened by now]

Casey: [‘it’s never felt you’ and you can hear how hard he has to keep swallowing all the spit in his mouth rn thinking about it so]

Janis: [‘I would kill to kiss you right now’ because it’s too hot ‘we can swap, get messy’]

Casey: [just the most indecent wettest mouth noises of his own cos had to just be giving that energy as best we can like yeah 100% agree]

Janis: [‘do I want your tongue in my throat or my pussy first’ a question because we’re not capable of deciding with how we’re feeling now]

Casey: [‘I wish I could do both at the same time’ cos same truly ‘everything all at once’]

Janis: [‘we could’ve 69’d so perfectly in that car seat’ like that would be close]

Casey: [‘if it were you on your way here, we would’ cos he can literally see this car from where he is probably]

Janis: [such frustrated noises ‘Casey’ like how dare you in the best possible way]

Casey: [just saying her name back in response but then he likes being able to so much he can’t stop saying it til he’s just moaning it]

Janis: [just losing it because wanted to hear that forever casually ‘make me cum just by saying my name’]

Casey: [he does keep saying her name ofc but also sneaking in a ‘I should’ve cum all over your stomach’ like you were gonna just do that in the car nbd, we’re being feral]

Janis: [‘you would’ve’ like we were not far away we all know it ‘didn’t even have to take our clothes off, I could feel you pressing into me’]

Casey: [‘you’d like it, wouldn’t you?’ cos sis we’re too drunk to act like we don’t know Jimothy is clearly not bothered about you like that, soz not soz, a sound remembering that feeling of pressing into her because it really was that good ‘I’m trying to make it feel the same now’ cos clearly can’t be taking your clothes off rn so might as well use that to your advantage]

Janis: [‘so much’ in the weakest voice so we’re saying it again louder, hoarse ‘so fucking much, Casey’ just fucking ourself putting this phone down there so you can hear everything whilst we do ‘my top is off, you can do it’]

Casey: [‘cum for me first’ as if you’re so shy and you need the encouragement to get your own tits out, sir, we all think not ‘you can do it’ cos can literally hear how close that is to happening and you get to do it more than once without waiting gal so why wouldn’t you]

Janis: [‘oh fuck’ just being the most feral ‘are you proud of me?’]

Casey: [giving the same energy with his ‘so proud’ as she did with her so much without even trying cos you’re just feeling the same way about all of this ‘don’t stop, okay, I need you not to’ like you have also got cum again the same time as me, those are the rules, sorry]

Janis: [‘for you’ over and over hitting a crescendo when we cum the first time, whimpering after as we keep on touching ourselves ‘please, baby’]

Casey: [‘you know I fucking love you, don’t you?’ cos it’s true and we simply need you to be aware and have it spelled out as extra as he is in this feral moment]

Janis: [‘I love you’ ‘cos no chance we aren’t just blurting that out too]

Casey: [the effect it would have and always has on him, good lord, sorry to Ian’s neighbours, such a complete and utter loss of control that other people would be embarrassed about but not y’all]

Janis: [just laying here recovering, can only hear each other breathing]

Casey: [‘I think I’m gonna fall over’ and lowkey almost do because that was so much and he’s not alright on any level]

Janis: [‘stay still’ with all the feeling and our own exhaustion/headfuckery]

Casey: [‘maybe my hand is fucked’ as if that’s the reason you can’t stay upright lol cos drunk logic be like]

Janis: [‘mine is cramped’ panting still ‘we did that’]

Casey: [‘it’s my fault, I’ll sort it’ like we shall kiss that hand better for you ASAP cos we did make you keep going for us, do not worry]

Janis: [‘you can fuck me up like that any time’ like I am far from gutted about it, don’t you worry ‘are you really okay?’ ‘cos do be concerned of course, just in case it isn’t how intense that was]

Casey: [‘depends, you gonna get mardy with me if I throw up? ‘cause I might’ we’re aware it could be taken the wrong way and we’re not trying to say it’s a guilt or regret vomit]

Janis: [‘no’ lol a little ‘probably a good idea, aim it in her flower beds or whatever, like’]

Casey: [do actually because usually when you think you’re gonna be sick like that it’s pretty immediate]

Janis: [‘better?’ when you reckon he sounds like he’s done over there]

Casey: [‘really hurt, that’ like respect to you actually babe, soz if I ever even remotely took the piss out of you]

Janis: [just on the low like more than usual though like did Ian strangle you or something but can’t bring ourselves to ask right now so just doing a verbal shrug ‘you get used to it’ as if you’re ever likely to be puking every day for 12 weeks]

Casey: [realistically your stomach/ribs/chest either/or probably hurts thanks to him cos many of the injuries I’ve given Jimothy in that era attest to the fact Ian is the kind of bitch who likes to put the boot in when someone’s on the floor, but you don’t know that yet and you aren’t gonna have any bruises coming up for a minute so ‘Dunno why you’d wanna’ cos still can’t get our head round anyone wanting to be preggo and have kids rn despite our blatant new kink about it]

Janis: [we all remember the days, ugh; not this finally making us think about our husband ‘you’ve got no clue, still?’ Like wow rude as if you’re just such a great lay and shit just happened here, bants bants bants]

Casey: [‘alright, maybe I do a bit’ cos the kink do be undeniable soz]

Janis: [noise like there you go then ‘well done for saying you wanted to cum on my stomach, not in it’ like it won’t happen to you, no need to worry]

Casey: [‘shut up’ but more affectionate and playful than just writing that ever sounds lol]

Janis: [likewise can hear the smile in our voice when we eventually stop shutting up ‘probably shouldn’t speak to you in the car’]

Casey: Speak to me like this instead

Janis: Sure?

Casey: unless you don’t fancy it, like

Janis: I won’t be with him, easier for me, all I was thinking

Casey: you’ve been told about leaving your homo incest fantasies out of it

Janis: 🙄 sigh 😏

Casey: but if you’re knackered, I get it, I did do that to you

Janis: how was that

Janis: how did you

Casey: you’ve heard me before, you know

Janis: and I had nothing to do with it, did I not

Casey: I never said that, I said I’ve had loads of practice

Casey: I’m good, it’s a skill same as anything else

Janis: like everything else in life I’m just naturally gifted then

Casey: yeah, you are

Casey: though you did used to get your own fair bit of practice in, I heard

Janis: can’t talk about that

Casey: it’s alright, not keen to talk about him myself, gonna be a right dickhead about me being here

Janis: you can sit there and take it

Janis: you’ve already had it out with Ian

Casey: I’m not gonna start shit, I never do far as he’s concerned

Janis: I know

Janis: or we won’t be able to be mates

Casey: I can’t talk about that, if you’re having one

Janis: bit different though

Janis: but okay

Casey: I’d not hack us not being mates, not again

Janis: yeah, you better be my mate after that, dickhead

Janis: thought you was saying nah

Casey: I love you after that, dickhead

Janis: good

Janis: we can be best mates again

Casey: means you’ve still gotta kiss me, taste of sick or nah

Janis: yeah

Janis: he might wanna talk to me about your behaviour first, you know

Casey: wanna talk, him

Casey: nah, don’t sound right, mate

Janis: 😏 we’ll see then

Casey: I’ll not fake sleep the hour away, if he’s got sod all to get off his chest about his fave fucking subject he can say it direct to me, there’s another favour done for you

Janis: might not be fake 😴

Casey: oi

Janis: only teasing, you’re not allowed to sleep anyway

Janis: have to keep talking to you, won’t I

Casey: *wanna keep on

Casey: don’t you

Janis: you know I do

Janis: we like talking

Casey: I’ve missed it

Janis: me too, it makes me feel better

Casey: I feel better hearing that off you

Casey: it does my head in you feeling shit

Janis: backatcha, boy

Janis: especially when it’s my fault

Casey: I got you a cake, fuck’s sake, I forgot

Casey: not from [the place] but I promise it were still well good

Casey: where’s it gone to

Janis: you can tell me if you’ve eaten it all, I won’t get too pissy

Janis: as you’re cute enough to get away with it

Casey: bit rude to chuck them sort of accusations about when you’ve saw my sick and know I never

Casey: oh nah, hang on, you only heard, didn’t wanna watch

Janis: I did too wanna watch

Janis: not you vomming, though, probably alright for that bit

Casey: you can trust it wasn’t [whatever colour is her fave and thus was the colour vibe of this cake because we love you]

Janis: you were thinking about me even though you were really really mad at me

Janis: still being nice

Casey: There’s a chance I might’ve chucked it at you, I dunno

Janis: okay 🤡 energy

Janis: rude but fair, tbh

Casey: and you’d have more of a laugh eating it, could even get him bothered about you for a bit, maybe

Janis: you reckon, yeah

Casey: awkward that you still don’t reckon but you’d know, like

Janis: talking about him, as you were

Casey: alright

Janis: how’d you know

Casey: didn’t, thought he might’ve just gone mute then an’ all

Casey: before

Casey: after, I’ve worked out how impossible that’d be

Janis: true, we’ve all found out the house ain’t that big…

Janis: made sure of that

Casey: you’re welcome now I do know, never realised at the time just how much I’d be doing for you, mate

Janis: oh yeah, massive inconvenience for you

Casey: I’m glad it were a massive favour to you

Janis: don’t embarrass me, like

Casey: I know it don’t, that ain’t how you feel about it at all

Janis: how do I feel then

Casey: how you did for loads of the time we were in the car

Casey: and when you called me back

Janis: right now I don’t mind you knowing

Casey: how don’t he, mind or have no clue, what I’m doing on the other side the wall making you wet as that

Janis: I shouldn’t be anything but pissed off too

Casey: you are too

Janis: obviously

Janis: you’re very frustrating

Casey: not tonight

Janis: you’re gonna pass out when you get back

Janis: but you need to, it’s all good

Casey: piss off, I am not

Janis: alright, babe

Casey: leave it out, what I’m gonna do is keep making you cum til it’s you passing out

Janis: I told you, it wouldn’t be fair to you

Janis: if it happens, I want you to remember it all, very, very clearly, yeah

Casey: it ain’t fair to say I won’t, bighead

Janis: you dunno how drunk you are

Casey: nor do you, it were me what did it to myself

Casey: should give me more of an idea than you

Janis: once you got past 10, you were fucked

Janis: don’t be mad, there’s time

Casey: not gonna talk to you no more, see how mad you are

Janis: come on, I know you, I know you wouldn’t have gone to Ian’s unless you were in a really bad way and didn’t know where else to go

Casey: ages ago, I’m sorted since

Janis: I’m glad you feel a bit better

Casey: it’s all wearing off, I’ll be in a top state when I get back

Janis: alright

Janis: just let me double-check then, you won’t mind if it’s me

Casey: As it’s you, and you like that, an’ all

Janis: I’ve gotta take care of you

Casey: you can do your little nurse thing

Janis: very generous

Casey: just the best mate I am

Janis: did I tell you I missed you

Casey: tell me again

Janis: I missed you

Janis: getting to see you, even if we were just making awkward small talk and that was it

Casey: I were expecting it, to come down to the kitchen and you’d be there or on the sofa when I were off out for work, some bollocks

Janis: I should’ve not pussied out and just told you

Janis: I didn’t wanna say I was going and hear you say you didn’t care though

Casey: least it’s not been years

Casey: there’s already a Debbie everywhere I fucking look, have to get her to budge up for you

Janis: be a bit rude of me to make her

Janis: I’ll stick around

Casey: ruder of her, better be a really long, top quality postcard, time it’s taken

Janis: yeah

Janis: do you think she’s still about

Casey: don’t trust the people saying otherwise but that don’t mean they’re wrong

Janis: it’ll never not be a headfuck

Janis: you’ve coped better than you think

Casey: you’re the only dickhead believes that

Janis: it’s true though

Janis: plenty would’ve topped themselves or gone proper off the rails full time

Casey: she’d have let me in, however many other new kids she had, she would

Janis: ‘course, you were her favourite, I remember

Casey: I used to have a go at patching her up, how you wanna do

Janis: you must’ve felt weird, having to look after them instead of the other way ‘round

Casey: I didn’t mind, it was alright when it was only me and her

Janis: you could calm her down

Casey: once we had a bonfire of all Ian’s shit, dunno if I’d ever seen her happy as that

Janis: on the one hand nice on the other kinda fucked

Casey: sums her up

Casey: I dunno how to explain it, he wanted us to be small, but she’d let me be big, older than I were, as fuming as I fancied

Janis: that makes sense

Janis: I know I’d like that more too

Casey: if she hit you, you hit her back, and that was that, done, sorted out

Casey: he could never leave it and let it be that simple

Janis: he still can’t

Casey: could be having a laugh with her the next minute, when does he laugh, he don’t

Janis: his life’s a state and it’s everyone’s problem

Janis: he could’ve chatted to you, at least

Casey: I’d make drinks for her, bollocks ones, weird, with a bit of everything, like a game

Casey: and the one time I tried it with him I couldn’t lift nowt for ages

Casey: sums him up

Janis: I’m sorry

Janis: I wish she was still around for you instead of him

Casey: why’d she not take me, I get the others, but

Janis: I can’t tell you, just give you any and every guess you could make and have done

Casey: I’d have looked after her, I fucking did

Janis: you did

Janis: maybe she couldn’t take you, didn’t have a choice in any of it

Casey: Least your kid’ll know where he is, useless or nah

Janis: you really don’t think he’ll be a good dad

Casey: you don’t think he’s a good husband

Janis: that’s not an answer to my *?

Casey: yeah it is, why would he be when he’s doing pisspoor at a job that’d be loads easier

Janis: not like I’m a good wife back

Casey: he’ll have started it, typical him

Janis: don’t you start back there

Janis: be a good passenger and 🤫

Casey: you’ve already said, I won’t

Janis: I trust you

Casey: even though I lost your cake

Janis: bit gutted but yeah

Janis: still reckon you’re alright

Casey: I’ll go do the proper one, you’re still welcome and home, it counts

Janis: might have to wait ‘til they’re open

Janis: but I’ll work on being glad and you not feeling shit about it either

Casey: I obviously meant when they open, girl, gonna be a bit busy with you til then

Janis: be sorry state of affairs if you couldn’t compete with some cake, boy

Casey: how sorry are you that you haven’t tasted it or me

Janis: 🥺

Janis: that much, maybe

Casey: and I’m sorry I asked 💔

Janis: you would be sorry, if you were thinking about half the stuff I was now

Casey: that’ll be why I am

Janis: proper sorry

Casey: too sorry not to show you how much so you’ve gotta let me

Janis: tell me how

Casey: it’s a surprise, you wanted the cake to be and I ruined that

Janis: I could’ve just gone in with you

Casey: Nah, both our heads were right done in, would’ve been such a bad idea

Janis: probably

Janis: did you end up having a good night until you ended up at Ian’s then

Casey: didn’t get arrested, that’ll do, like

Janis: progress

Janis: what more can we ask for

Casey: tah for trying to balance out the bollocks I’ve had off Ian and am gonna have to hear from your husband an’ all

Janis: well Ian can’t be arsed to be a dad ever

Janis: have got him out of bed for an hours drive though so he can probably be a bit mardy with it

Casey: if you’d not said I’d gotta shut up I could’ve told him it was a practice run for when she’s older and off her face asking to be picked up ‘cause some dickhead lad’s dumped her or she’s fallen out with her mates

Janis: don’t think bringing her up would help your case there

Janis: though I’ve heard worse points

Casey: I’ll not say owt about her liking me more than him, don’t worry

Janis: well if you’re in a keeping secrets sort of mood, I’ll tell you

Janis: you already owe her an apology, like

Casey: oh shit, what for

Janis: we woke her up

Janis: when your heart beats faster it happens usually, it was such a weird feeling

Casey: was she kicking you the whole time

Janis: yeah

Casey: must be fuming, I’ll let her know I’m sorry soon as I get in, unless she’s gone back to sleep, better leave it then else

Janis: might wait up if I tell her her mates coming

Casey: she’d have to if I get your heart going again, I’d owe her a massive apology or she’d never forgive me though

Janis: you talk really nice to her

Janis: shouldn’t be no issue

Casey: ask her what she most fancies and I’ll see what I can do

Janis: I think I’m shit at it already

Casey: what, why would you reckon that

Janis: I’ve never talked to her like that, or thought to

Casey: you know what I’m like, gotta chat all the lasses up a bit

Janis: I dunno, not a natural at this

Casey: oi, come on, less of that

Casey: we could sing her a song, you ain’t shit at that and it’ll make up for me being so she might still wanna stay as mates

Janis: you know any decent nursery rhymes

Casey: piss off do I, only proper tunes

Casey: she’ll love them, not like other babies, her

Janis: don’t wanna come out of the womb uncool 😏

Janis: no child of mine

Casey: there you go, and that’s a song pick anyway, ain’t it, nearly

Janis: loads of good high notes for you to hit

Casey: I get it, you wanna work out if I can before you try and make me, too nice, you

Casey: practice 😏

Janis: I know you can already

Janis: unfortunately

Casey: not the full range and not with you, only for you

Janis: I really want it

Casey: let me give it to you then

Janis: what if it’s not as good as you’ve imagined

Casey: I keep telling you, I ain’t forgot who the fuck you are

Casey: you’ve barely touched me and it was better than anything I’ve ever thought about

Janis: we’re on the same page about that then

Janis: I could’ve

Casey: it weren’t just in my head, it happened, something between you and me, that’s all I want

Janis: there is something

Janis: it is, whatever it is

Casey: then I barely even care what we actually do

Janis: I just wanna touch you and have you touch me

Casey: it’s a date, 1 hour from whenever the fuck he shows his face

Janis: at least you came before he did

Janis: would’ve been awkward otherwise

Casey: how long’s it been since you sent him out

Janis: was a bit busy to be clockwatching, be pleased to hear

Janis: you first called [the time] apparently, so [a time he should be there from then ‘cos it was pretty immediate, is the vibe obviously]

Casey: I only ask ‘cause I’m feeling like it could still be an awkward car ride with everything you’ve got me thinking about

Casey: uncomfortable, like

Janis: can’t have that

Janis: how can we make you more comfortable

Casey: I know, it’s alright for you at home on your own, touching yourself whenever you want, only the baby to get pissed off with it

Janis: I can promise not to, if you want

Casey: I’m too nice to have you promise that, you’ll wanna break it so fast

Janis: It was hard not to in the car, nearly impossible

Casey: I swear I can hear the sounds of you on a loop in my head, it’s impossible to hear nowt else going on round here, good job that lot have all fucked off in ages ago

Janis: doubly good thing you’re not driving back yourself

Janis: I don’t know what I’d do if anyone tried to talk to me right now either, fucking hell

Casey: you know I can drive 1 handed but

Casey: yeah, probably not the best plan

Janis: you can at least give me both hands, boy

Casey: would whether they’re broken or nah, might get some weird angles happening for you and have to fuck them up again ‘cause you’re that into it

Janis: I’m not into you being hurt though

Janis: don’t make me 🥺 at you again

Casey: He ain’t been able to hurt me since I was [whatever age you were when you stopped him]

Casey: I’m alright

Janis: you’re brave

Casey: if you mean putting on the face, nah I’m not

Casey: I’d tell you if it were bad

Janis: you would, I know that

Janis: still checking you over but I believe you, he’s a pussy

Janis: obviously it’s just for my benefit but you’ve already said you’ll let me

Casey: he wouldn’t have got near me if I wasn’t out of it, fucking stupid of me

Janis: he knows better than to start on you if it’s looking like a fair fight

Casey: been an unfair fight for him since I was [a few years before the big fight when you clearly were already making it hard for him to actually beat you in any scenario ever]

Casey: these days you heard me say can’t call it one

Janis: you know what I mean

Janis: women and kids are more his speed

Casey: not even that now, how special were we, like 🏆

Janis: can’t see whatserface standing for that

Janis: not much of a catch these days either, never mind throwing that into the mix

Casey: be romantic if he stopped for her instead of just ‘cause he’s too knackered

Janis: not everyone can be a great romantic like you, mate

Casey: bet he tells her that’s why anyway, he did it for her and love and all that bollocks

Janis: better line than admitting you’ve settled

Casey: better line than the drink didn’t only kill my sex drive, love, it also sorted my urge to smack you about

Janis: 😏

Janis: way too old to crack out any more kids, thank fuck

Casey: she’s got loads herself, can steady on

Janis: yeah he’s well outnumbered

Casey: be another reason why he don’t hurt none of them, that amount of screaming’d do his head right in, never heard it before

Janis: don’t need to tell me

Janis: sisters are hell as is

Casey: I’ll cross my fingers next one’s a lad for you, they’ll get on better

Janis: cheers

Casey: but if it were me I’d keep her on her own and spoil her til she’s a proper dickhead so

Janis: that your official advice then

Casey: yeah, gotta have her back on side, and she’d love having that be her life

Janis: only children can be a bit weird though

Casey: not yours, already cool, remember

Janis: fair, might give birth once then refuse

Casey: can always refuse unless they knock you out, you’re alright, I won’t let Ian volunteer to do it

Janis: idea of his mug being there might frighten me into getting on with it

Janis: 😱

Casey: can’t have that being the 1st thing my bestie sees, tah very much

Janis: no one should have to deal with that, bloody hell

Casey: Are her eyes open or closed in there

Janis: might be a bit early but she will soon if she hasn’t

Casey: weird, where do you think she reckons she is, hearing my voice pissing about round her

Janis: it’s well weird, I still can’t get my head ‘round it and it’s happening in me

Janis: up north, obvs

Janis: be so thrilled when she realises otherwise

Casey: you’ll have to keep talking to her

Janis: I like your accent

Janis: maybe I’ll say nothing instead so she gets it

Casey: can’t have 2 mute parents, she’ll come out believing I’m her dad

Casey: what the fuck would I do, adopt her like them animals who get stuck with a duck when they’re a dog or something

Janis: Bob could illustrate the kid’s book about it, yeah

Janis: sounds well 😢🤗🥰

Casey: he would an’ all, be chuffed to bits with his new totally mute house

Janis: you two gonna piss off then

Casey: yeah ‘course, if I’m doing it I’ll do it proper, away from you bunch of dickheads

Janis: good luck to you, hand her over when they’ve wiped off all the blood and gunk

Casey: alright, it’s another date

Janis: you feel SO lucky, I know

Casey: I dunno what I’m gonna call her, too many lasses names’d be weird to use the way I’ve said ‘em

Janis: it’s the personal touches 🙄

Casey: gotta keep you informed, mate, it’s already a pisstake you can’t see owt that’s going on

Janis: I don’t wanna see, dickhead

Casey: such a good listener, you

Casey: all you ever wanna do

Janis: would you wanna watch me get fucked

Casey: depends who by

Janis: so anyone that’s not him

Casey: anyone’s probably going a bit far

Janis: unlikely gonna happen so just a hypothetical

Casey: maybe, if you wanted

Janis: have you ever done that

Casey: ‘course, watched it and been watched doing it

Janis: with other lads

Casey: with [uni gf obvs] and another lad, he didn’t touch me though and I never him

Janis: I get what you’re saying

Casey: I dunno, I wasn’t chuffed to bits but she wanted to do it

Janis: do you think you’d do it again or nah

Casey: if you’re dead keen to, we can

Janis: I’m not

Janis: well, I’ve not tried it but I don’t think I need to

Casey: I don’t rate it that high, but might just be me, how jealous I am

Janis: I’m a jealous person

Casey: let’s not then, she was to wind me up and I’m not trying to do that to you

Janis: not right now

Janis: you do a lot of the time

Casey: I can’t help it but I wish I was able to

Janis: it worked, you’re not a 🤏 proud

Casey: not right now

Janis: wasn’t trying to bring you off your high

Casey: It’s sad, it makes me feel sad

Janis: we can talk about anything else

Janis: you don’t have to be sad

Casey: yeah I do, I shouldn’t treat you like that, I shouldn’t want to

Janis: it’s complicated

Janis: you get wound up by me all the time too, even if I don’t mean it

Casey: it’s not, I love you, you don’t treat people you really love like that, it’s simple

Janis: yeah but you can’t love me, not like that

Janis: that’s why it’s not

Casey: but I shouldn’t have to start fucking you to not treat you like shit

Janis: nah but it’s not just because I won’t

Janis: it’s who I do instead

Janis: it’s a mess

Casey: yeah, we’re all fucked, aren’t we

Janis: I think we can admit that, yeah

Casey: some party this is, you’ll have to mute me in a sec

Janis: lose your number

Janis: it’s alright, been to worse

Janis: we’ve all been stressed

Casey: you gonna take the piss again if I say I’m tired, I don’t mean it in a sleepy way, just

Janis: no

Janis: I feel like even if I slept all day and all night, it’d still feel like that

Casey: I don’t wanna do this no more, be this dickhead

Casey: it’s such bollocks, it’s so

Janis: exhausting?

Janis: we can start sorting it, work out who you do wanna be, who you could

Casey: that’ll be exhausting too

Janis: yeah

Janis: starting to think life is, bit of a pisstake we weren’t warned

Casey: how’s everybody else not fed up of themselves, their own head

Janis: most are

Casey: meant to be having the time of my life, ain’t I

Janis: why, ‘cos you get to party more than average and fuck on girls

Casey: 22

Janis: I don’t reckon there’s anything that good about it

Janis: or any age, if you’ve got what you need and want, you’ll be alright, if not, you’re fucked

Janis: that’s simple, just not to work it out, necessarily

Casey: or get what you need and want

Janis: yeah, if this shit was fair, we’d all have a good shot at it but, it can be random

Casey: it can be a right pisstake

Janis: or you get it and it gets taken away

Casey: if you’re him, you get it then decide you don’t fancy it

Janis: not drunk enough to go there

Casey: You better not be, we’re not sending her back to bed like that

Janis: of course I’m not, give me a bit of credit, dickhead, meant to be my mate again

Casey: 😏

Casey: can go on and admit you’re not shit at it then, can’t you

Janis: not quite that shit

Janis: I decided to do this, not gonna fuck her up before she’s even here, be well harsh for making me feel like shit

Casey: especially when you don’t look it, she’s only doing you favours there

Janis: for you

Janis: think it makes him feel sick

Casey: what don’t, he’s always been a massive girl about everything

Janis: I didn’t see it coming

Casey: he’s just shitting himself, you had to see that coming ‘cause again, when’s he not

Janis: he could do it in his sleep

Janis: if anyone, I was worried about myself, not him

Casey: he’ll be worrying she’ll come out looking like Ian and he won’t love her for it, we all fucking do so

Janis: loads of dickheads are good looking, sad fact of life

Casey: Hang on, you think my dad’s fit

Janis: shut up

Janis: you all look like him, you said

Janis: his overall shit personality ruins it a bit, was my point 😏

Casey: oh mate, you do, you reckon he’s WELL fit

Janis: you’re such a twat, you

Casey: you’re so funny

Casey: good job you never met my mum, you’d lose it, she was the one everyone kept going on about for how she looked

Janis: don’t do girls so you don’t have to feel conflicted on that score

Casey: not even for my benefit, bit rude

Janis: if you want fake, yeah

Janis: sure anyone touching on you feels good but I’m not gonna actually fancy any girl, never have

Casey: I get it, I don’t wanna bum any lads

Janis: good thing my homo fantasies aren’t real or you’d have to close your eyes

Casey: Go on then, what fantasies do you have

Janis: we ain’t got time for all of ‘em, boy

Casey: give us your top 1 you keep going back to

Janis: it’s not like it’s even specific it’s just

Janis: you, touching you everywhere I possibly could and seeing every face you make and hearing every noise, then you being everywhere I could take you, feeling it all, tasting it

Casey: it’ll be a reality soon, I promise

Janis: you can’t promise that

Casey: I can and I have

Janis: I could think of something specific if I weren’t already feeling like

Janis: tell me yours then

Casey: it’s that now

Janis: cheating but

Janis: if you want it all too I’m the opposite of mad

Casey: what kind of dickhead would be after any less than all of you and everything you could do or hack having done to you

Janis: give a fuck about him, whoever he is

Casey: he’ll be here in a bit and I know you don’t

Janis: don’t

Casey: alright, but it’ll be true if I bother typing it or don’t

Janis: it just makes me sad, not gonna make me wanna fuck you

Casey: that ain’t the only reason I talk to you, but I said alright, so I’ll leave it out being a twat

Janis: it’s what we were talking about though

Janis: don’t need to make me feel bad about it, can do that myself easy

Casey: I don’t mean to

Janis: it’s fine, you’re wasted

Casey: I just don’t want him to be on his way here, but what the fuck am I taking it out on you for, I asked you to send him and it were me who got myself stuck

Janis: I get why you didn’t want me but yeah that’s the reality of that

Janis: he hasn’t got the energy to have a go, he doesn’t, it’ll be awkward and shit but apart from that you’ll be fine

Casey: I didn’t think you would if I said I wanted that

Janis: I would’ve but I shouldn’t so

Janis: you did the right thing, that part

Casey: I’m sorry for making you sad

Janis: it’s not you, it’s me, babe

Casey: nah, it’s my fault, but I’ll make you forgive me too, baby

Janis: baby now, is it

Janis: you want me to 😳

Casey: it is too cute when you do that, I wouldn’t be fuming about it, like

Janis: it makes me fuming

Janis: a bit

Janis: but I can get you to as well, makes it fair

Casey: I don’t mind if you are, never have, have I

Janis: nah, you’re a right windup, always have been

Casey: you’ve always been dead easy to wind up, nowt I can do about you walking into it

Janis: 1. I’ve always been well nice to you AND patient, even when you were a right little dickhead 2. Pot kettle an’ all, mate

Casey: I dunno how much it counts when you’ve gotta start counting

Casey: gonna have some patience when you get to 10 or what

Janis: I have plenty

Janis: you who keeps bringing up how long it’s been

Casey: you’ll not be bothered about having to wait ages to get a word back in now he’s here then 👍

Janis: 😏 enjoy your fake sleep, then

#ian's to home

1 note · View note

thepaxgroup · 3 years

Text

artem through the years

summary: little headcannons of artem wing as a child till highschool and the family dynamics behind it

characters: artem wing | zuǒ rán and his parents

warning(s): none

word count: 1.3k

a/n: this one is a lil angsty—more bittersweet i would say! i tried to keep artem as true to his character as i could,,, i’ll leave some a/n down below too to explain more! enjoy <3

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐦 (𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 - 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥):

✦ In elementary, he used to wait an extra thirty minutes without complaint for his mother to pick him up. The woman would profusely apologize to her son, pressing a quick kiss to his temple as she hastily got him into the car. She asks him quick questions and he tries not to get too excited because he knows his mother is a busy woman. So he answers with soft replies and pink-tinged cheeks when he remembers something that elated him in class. He completely misses his mothers wistful eyes glancing at him in the mirror like clockwork.

✦ His babysitter would wait for him at home and the exchange was quick. His mother would wave goodbye, at times she’d blow a kiss, and she’d be off to work once more. “Artem is a good kid,” is what all his sitters used to say because Artem would stay quiet and polite and very very rarely did he ask for attention since he understood that busy people could not stop for a moment in their pursuit of ambition.

✦ In second grade, his parents had taken him out to find a Halloween costume. The time alone made his heart flutter and his ears pink (it’s when he learned how important quality time was). He shook his head shyly at every other costume they suggested, knowing if he chose one the day would be over. That and he had never liked the holiday that much. Maybe his Kindergarten teacher was right, maybe he lacked the imagination a child should have (don’t tell his parents that though). In the end, he asks his parents clumsily with shining ocean eyes if he could dress as a lawyer. They find him a suit and a periwinkle tie—oh gods, his mother will not stop grinning and snapping photos. It makes him feel warm, so he lets her take a few more.

✦ When little Artem had come down with a nasty cold that didn’t leave for a worrying amount of time, he found himself writhing in his tiny bed, clutching onto the sheets. The house was cold as it always was but he felt as though he were on fire. A coughing fit and a sitter calling his parents is the last he remembers. Though when night comes, something cool presses against his forehead. He cracks his tired eyes open finding it odd that he’s pressed against something familiar, that wasn’t the comfort of his bed. Shhh, someone whispers in a deep voice, rubbing circles into his back, Go back to bed. It’s a vague, vague memory that he’s convinced he made up in his fever-delirious mind. S-School… he croaked out, shifting upright. When he looks up once more he recognizes the silver eyes that look down on him. His father. It’s okay, you can miss a day Artem, murmured his father, pressing his cold hands on Artems forehead. The boy leans into the touch. I’ll be here when you wake up, said Mr. Wing as if he had known what Artem was thinking. I promise you, my love.

✦ At the start of middle school, the sitters are long gone. He’s been walking home now for years yet this time, he dreads the cold and lonely house that waits for him. He wants to call his parents when the sun begins to set because they aren’t home yet but he doesn’t want to disturb them.

✦ It’s the summer going into ninth grade when Artem decides to learn how to cook. He’s efficient enough to make basic meals without burning the house down and… he’s not sure why but he can’t stomach the take-out that he gets during the majority of the week when his parents leave him with a credit card and an apologetic note.

✦ He saves every single note.

✦ He’s surprised to find out that cooking is easy, fun—therapeutic. He sits alone in his dining room, diligently typing his thesis while a bowl of congee cools beside him. It’s at the last sentence of his essay does he stop to realize his food has gone cold, almost as cold as the aura that suffocated his family house. Yet, he still tries it and he still something small, something melancholic flitters in his eyes. I wish they could try it too… Artem swallows back the thought with a spoonful of congee.

✦ [He still leaves extras in a tupperware container in the fridge on the off chance they come home hungry]

✦ The week after, he finds a worn out book open in the kitchen. He instantly recognizes it as the family cookbook his mother would try pluck recipes from. Truthfully, he’s unsure why it’s there but he has his guesses. A small smile tugs at his lips and his chest becomes ridiculously warm. When Artem grabs the book he doesn’t see the note that slides out of the pages. Written in black ink it read, I found this for you, love. It looks like you’ll be needing it more than your father and I ever have. Love, Mom.

✦ [When Mrs. Wing comes home at the dead of night, shrugging her blazer off with a sigh, she’s surprised to see the note left on the ground. Her lips purse into a tight line but she says nothing more, crumpling it up in the palm of her hand before she throws it in the trash.]

✦ Artem Wing does not resent his parents. They’re thriving and they’re trying and they’re doing their best. That’s what he understands. Even so, it’s only natural when his heart lurches in his chest during another late night study in the Stellis’ public library without even a buzz from his phone. Since he had started high school, he tried to avoid the suffocating isolation that was his home. He would spend days and nights studying until there was a little outline of bags under his eyes. Calls and texts became less and less frequent now that he was older though sometimes, he wishes he wasn’t.

✦ Artem does not expect his mother to be home for his seventeenth birthday. So he stares at her with his ocean eyes wide when he comes back from the library around ten, with his mother asleep on the sofa, sitting upright. There’s a neatly wrapped gift in her hands. Mom? He had whispered guiltily. At the sound of her son, Mrs. Wings sky-blue eyes begin to flutter and she looks at him with a soft smile. Happy Birthday Artem, she said sleepily, Your father was waiting for you too but he had to go. I’m sorry, my love. She holds out the gift in her hands which Artem slowly takes in his own. I’m sorry... I thought you both were working... he murmured. Artem pressed a kiss onto his mothers forehead, Thank you Mom, he says.

✦ Holidays are a busy time of year. Stores purge their storages while customers splurge their checks to buy the best of decorations, the best of gifts for the people they hold in their hearts. Snow has begun to set in Stellis but Artem doesn’t mind. He’s used to the cold. Christmas Eve is spent alone, baking cookies in the kitchen while he quietly hums to traditional Chinese opera. Christmas Day is like a routine, something he’s grown accustomed to. Artem takes a fresh batch of cookies to his parents' law firm, wrapping them in a box with a burgundy bow for the season. Of course, he doesn’t see them. An assistant tells him they’re with a client and for the millionth time Artem assures the assistant it’s okay when he hands the box over. Merry Christmas, carrying the ache in his heart with grace.

✦ Though, he misses when his father leaves his office, eyes wide at the sight of his son exiting the building. Artem, he wants to call out to him but Mr. Wing swallows it back because the doors have already shut. Merry Christmas, Artem, he says in his heart.

✦ His mother and father FaceTime him the morning of his high school graduation. Artem awoke to the cold comforting him for one last time. We’re so proud of you, grinned his mother. She still retained her young looks but age and work most likely, had hardened her eyes. We’re sorry we can’t make it, chimed his father. His parents had been called for a case out of Stellis nearly two weeks ago. They were planning to come but their flight had been pushed back despite their attempts to find a different plane. He brushes it off with ease, thanks them with care. It’s okay, Artem replied. It doesn’t really matter, the ceremony is just a formality anyways.

✦ He misses the guilty look the two of them share.

✦ He carries the ache, the warmth, the ambition in him so quietly when he’s called to accept his diploma. For he, started out as a Wing.

a/n: oookaay,,,, what i was gonna say was to be honest, i feel like artem wouldn’t be the type to be super teenage angsty about his parents working all the time. i think he’d understand and respect it, as well as admire them both. however, i do think that there’s a tiny, almost silent, part of him that wishes he got to spend more time with them. after all, that’s what children need. he’s kinda the type of character who would help someone else before ever helping his self and he’s shy and clumsy with affection so i think it would be hard for him to communicate it as we’ve seen before lmao. and yes, we haven’t heard much from his parents but i do think they adored him bc,,, like,,, he’s artem??? also, if you found any grammatical errors no you did not ;v;

180 notes · View notes

samuel-de-champagne-problems · 3 years

Text

Tying You To Me — Part 3

Summary: Spencer's trip the therapist gives him something to think about. New friendships are made and a new fluffy edition is added to his tiny family of one.

Content Warning: Cursing, a drunken kiss that is rejected, running themes of infidelity and cheating, prose so purple it's Red TV, an unhealthy amount of Taylor Swift references because I decided to write this while crying to Red at 3:00AM on Friday morning.

Word Count: 6500

Author's Note: This chapter turned out much sadder and more angsty than I intended and it's all Taylor Swift's fault. And thank you to @reidslibrarybook i love you Nat :)

Add Me! | Tell Me What You Thought Here

Series Navigation | Last Chapter | Next Chapter |

Did The Love Affair Maim You Too?

“So Dr. Reid, what brings you in here today?” Dr. Cruz asks, sitting across from Spencer in her comfortable chair. Her office is decorated with pictures of State Parks and the warm yellow paint makes him feel relaxed. It’s all mind tricks, though. He knows it because he uses it, but when it’s being used on you it feels a little different, “What made you want to go to therapy?” she asks again.

“It’s Spencer, please, I’m just Spencer here,” he corrects, “You know, I think the obvious answer is Rebecca cheating on me with our neighbor”

“But is that why you’re here, Spencer,” Dr. Cruz asks, prompting him to look a little deeper, “And if formality isn’t an issue with you, you can call me Valentina,” she tells him, placing her clipboard on the side table next to her. She’s a little older than Spencer, which is comforting in a way, and reminds him of Penelope.

“No, I guess not,” Spencer says, “I guess, I really don’t know why I’m here. Other than my friends, Luke and Penelope telling me I should have gone after I got out of prison. I mean, I did, but just so I could keep working at the BAU, but I guess that’s not really a good reason to go to therapy,” he says, his thoughts muddling through his mind, “So, I think with everything that happen since then I kind of have felt a little lost,”

“Can you tell me more about that feeling, Spencer?” Valentina asks, “What do you mean by lost?”

Lost. Such a fickle word, Spencer thinks. It’s a vague term that, in Spencer’s case, has a murky history going back nearly 15 years. Has he been lost since he met Gideon and came to the BAU? And what was that, if not filling that father-shaped hole that William left in his heart? Does everything stem from him? His failure as a husband is because he didn’t get to watch what a good husband looks like growing up. But does that excuse Rebecca’s infidelity? Does that make her wrong, right?

“Spencer,” Valentina says, “Spencer, I think you need to separate your professional mind from your personal one,” she suggests, “You can’t think like an agent. You’re treating your situation like a case, and you can’t do that. Not when you’re so emotionally invested in what’s happening,” she tells him, reminding Spencer of the times that he’s gotten way too invested in cases, many of which usually don’t end well or leave him with life-long scars.

“Okay, I can try that,” Spencer says, wishing that turning the part of his mind that’s always on overdrive was easier said than done, “Rebecca, I met her through my friend Derek and his wife Savannah. When I met her, she really seemed like my last chance at happiness. And for what it’s worth, I think we made each other happy, even if it wasn’t for a lifetime like I wished for,”

“So why do you think she was unfaithful?” Valentina asks, “In our last session, we talked about what you went through in prison, but I want you to think about what you mean by lost yourself. Do you think your marriage had anything to do with that?”

He knows the answers that can get him out of here in under three weeks, but like Valentina said, he has to separate the professional from the person. Which is hard, when her personal life is so intertwined with her professional one.

“I think she lost herself too,” Spencer answers, “I love my wife, or loved. Or still love, I’m honestly not really sure, but all I know is that at some point she was the most important person in the world to me. And I thought I was to her, but I guess somewhere along the lines we slipped through the cracks,”

“There’s that word again, Spencer. Lost, you know, when a lot of people come to me saying that they’ve lost themselves two things are the most common: divorce and unemployment. In a way, but are mourning something. You’re mourning the life that you thought you had, Spencer. And that’s okay,” Valentina reassures him.

“I never thought about it like that,” Spencer says, picking at the frayed strands of fabric on his chair. He’s no stranger to grief and loss. But is losing Rebecca the same pain as he felt when he lost Maeve? He feels the heaviness on his chest, but he feels a strange sense of relief too, “I did lose a girlfriend, she, uh, she died. A couple years before I met Rebecca. It feels similar, I suppose,” Spencer says, not fully ready to talk about Maeve with Valentina.

“You’ve been through a lot of loss, Spencer,” she comforts, “Feeling this sense of loss, this sense of uncertainty, after having the rug swept up from your feet, is normal. So you felt lost, Rebecca felt lost, but she cheated,”

“I was married to my work more than I was married to my wife,” Spencer ventures, feeling that familiar tightness in his chest whenever he feels uncomfortable, “And it fucking sucks because all I ever dreamed of is having a family and a partner. I never wanted to be like my dad, to be married to my job, but here I am,”

“So that’s what you fear, turning into your father?” she asks, “And do you think that’s come true? Are you the same man as your dad,”

“Well, no. Maybe, I’m not sure anymore, Dr. Cruz,” Spencer laments, still feeling the lump in his throat as he looks across the small coffee table at his therapist, “And if there’s one thing I hate it’s not knowing the answer,”

“From what you’ve told me about you father, Spencer,” Valentina starts, “You’re nothing like him. Your marriage to Rebecca isn’t like your parents’ marriage. All marriages are different, Spencer,”

Y/N’s ghostly haunted face, not unlike Spencer’s, flashes across his mind’s eye. As much as he can relate to his former neighbor, Spencer doesn’t know what exactly happened behind closed doors. She can’t always be the vengeful woman drinking wine as she kicks her husband out of the house for infidelity, nor can she be the mysterious neighbor with a broken heart at the bar. Maybe she’s lost herself as well, maybe they are just two ghosts standing in the place that was once home.

“I’m scared that I gave up on Rebecca like William gave up on my mom,” Spencer confesses, “Maybe I should have tried harder, spent less time in the office, maybe if I didn’t let her slip through the cracks she wouldn’t have cheated on me,”

“You know that’s not true, Spencer,” Valentina says, “Your marriage ended because Rebecca was unfaithful,”

“Yes, but, what if I tried harder, I could have worked less. I could have done more to save my marriage,”

“Dr. Reid, there’s no buts. Let yourself grieve your marriage without casting blame on yourself. Let yourself mourn the life you dreamt of, but don’t dwell on it. If you dwell on it, it will consume you and then you’ll never move on,”

“Move on?” Spencer asks, his voice hollow and hardly recognizable. In that moment he can pinpoint the exact meaning of lost. He is lost. He feels loss. But, he can’t let it consume him, he knows that. He saw the way that Hotch felt after Haley left him, how he was when she was actually gone. He’s been through that, to some degree, with Maeve.

“How do I do that?”

“Find yourself, Spencer,” Valentia says, “I’m going to give you a little homework,”

Homework. Spencer likes homework, but something tells him that this homework might be a little more difficult than Math 50 at CalTech.

“Have a conversation with a friend. And they can’t be from work,” Valentina tells him, “Go for coffee, a walk, to a museum, but have a conversation with someone. And don’t talk about work, or your divorce. Just be Spencer. No facades, no masks hiding you,”

“A friend?” Spencer says skeptically thinking that this is probably the hardest homework assignment he’s ever gotten.

“Yes, you know that it’s important for us to have identities outside of our marriage and employment. And from what I’ve noticed, you lack in those categories,” Valentina gauges, reading Spencer, not unlike Spencer reading unsubs during interrogations.

“Friends have never been my area of expertise,” Spencer confesses, “I’m not sure how I exactly go about this, but I uh,” he says, wondering if this will be the worst mistake of the year, “I have an idea of someone I can talk to,”

“Then you should call them,” Valentina says, “And next week we will talk about your conversation,”

“My therapist said I should make a friend,” Spencer says, sitting across from Y/N at the cafe table. Aster sleeps in the stroller next to her, silently snoozing as they stare at each, neither brave enough to bring up the elephant in the room.

“A friend,” Y/N deadspans, her eyes playful, yet guarded as she scans Spencer over. He flits his gaze downwards, knowing the situation is awkward for everyone involved.

“Yes, well, outside of work and anyone that Rebecca and I were friendly with during our marriage,” Spencer explains, taking a bite of his muffin as Y/N nods her head, taking in his words.

“So you choose the woman whose ex slept with your ex, and who you hooked-up with too,” She analyzes, catching Spencer off guard with her astute commentary.

“Well,” Spencer says, licking off the sugar from his fingertip, “I don’t really have many friends outside of work as it is,” he tells her, “And you seem like you need a friend too,” he says, venturing to read the woman across from him. It’s easy when he can recognize the way that her smile seems to naturally fall into a frown. He can look into any mirror and know that what they are, are ghosts of who they used to be.

“At least I know that I didn’t accidentally give you the wrong number, Spencer,” Y/N challenges, her true words stinging his cheeks, reminding him of that night, “Look, Spencer, I get it, we were a little buzzed and sad and lonely. We fucked and you didn’t call. I’m a big girl,” she rushes, tapping her fingers against the table, “I’m not mad, Spencer. I just, that night we had, I’m scared it meant more to me than it meant to you,”

It meant something to her? He wouldn't have thought that, he would never think that it could mean something to her, that it could mean something to her like it meant something to him.

“Sex isn’t something that I’ve ever taken lightly, Y/N,” Spencer whispers, daring to hover his hands over her’s, “I’m just, I haven’t had much experience in love or relationships and with all that’s happened with Rebecca, I’m just not sure I can take another heartbreak,” Spencer professes, his words echoing in his ears with the dancing ghosts of Ethan, Maeve, and Rebecca forever haunting his heart.

“So friends,” Y/N says, squeezing his hand, “Friends who occasionally, sometimes, maybe seek to release certain frustrations together,” he offers, laying on the proposition without saying it directly.

A friend with benefits with his neighbor whose husband slept with his wife is a recipe for disaster. But, Spencer can’t deny the way her hand fit into his perfectly his, or the way her eyes glazed over with pleasure when she cried out his name. She wasn’t perfect, she was like him. Maybe fractured hearts need fractured hearts to learn how to heal again.

“I think I can do that, Y/N,” Spencer says, placing her palm facing up on the table and drawing shapes on her skin, “We can figure it out together, Y/N,” he says, offering a smile, that, while it can’t patch up her broken heart, it might glue it back together, leaving the tapestry of jagged lines in its wake.

“Tell me something interesting,” Y/N says, breaking the tension, “I’m not really sure what friends talk about but, tell me something interesting,”

“My godson, Henry, is trying out for the soccer team,” Spencer says, unsure himself as to what to talk about. It doesn’t take much for him to realize that his conversations circle primarily around work, “I think he takes after his mother, she was a soccer player back in high school,”

“Is Uncle Spencer going to be coaching?” Y/N teases, rocking Aster back and forth in the stroller with one hand and lifting the cup of coffee to her lips with her other, “I know for a fact that you’re deceptively athletic, Spencer,”

“Deceptively athletic,” Spencer repeats, feeling his cheeks blush at her insinuation, “I don’t know where you get that idea from. Besides, I don’t know much about soccer,”

She laughs into her drink, her eyes darting up from the rim. He doesn’t know what he said was particularly funny, but neither does he get the impression that Y/N is laughing at him. For the most part, he spent a good portion of his life trying to decode if people were laughing at him or with him. It’s hard for him to decipher their true intention, but right now it’s not.

“What about you?” Spencer asks, “Do you have hobbies, I mean I haven’t had a hobby since I was 10,” he says, thinking back to the last time he played as a little kid.

“I don’t really have time for hobbies,” Y/N answers, “Between the firm and Aster and putting up with James’ shit, it’s hard to find time to enjoy things,” she says sadly.

“I know what you mean,” Spencer says, carrying on the conservation effortlessly. He wonders if it’s always been this easy to talk to people or if he just needed to find the right person to talk with, “I’ve been with the Bureau since I was 22. It’s hard to recognize myself anymore. All I feel like I do is go to work, go home and sleep, and do it all over again,”

“It gets monotonous, you know. But it’s not my job that made me forget who I was, it’s James,” Y/N says, the venom in her voice reminiscent of how she was in the bar all those nights ago. Spencer really can’t think about that night right now, especially when he’s having coffee with a friend in a cafe. A normal Wednesday afternoon with no intentions or seduction.

“I was so sure of who I was at 22. I thought I knew everything,” Spencer ventures, knowing that he’s going directly against Valentina’s advice talking about his doomed marriage and his unhealthy work habits, “How did I know everything at 22, but nothing at 35,”

“You’re starting to make me wish this coffee was a bottle of Vodka,” she says wryly. Spencer feels his cheeks blush, thinking about the last time they talked and shared a couple drinks.

“Well, we both know where that leads,” Spencer comments, finishing the last drop of his coffee, “Not that I regret anything, Y/N,” he assures, hoping that he doesn’t come off like he’s insinuating he regrets what happened between anything. Regret isn’t what he tasted in his mouth when he woke up to an empty bed. Confusion, maybe. Loneliness, definitely.

“I don’t either,” Y/N says quickly, putting her hand over Spencer’s and squeezing gently, “You were there for me in a way that no one else could be, because they wouldn't understand,” she says, helping him understand, a bit at least, all the confusing emotions battling in his mind.

“I would have made you breakfast, you know,” Spencer says, “If you stayed,” he says, when he really wants to say is when you left me.

“Spencer, I’m 32 years old and I’ve been with James forever,” she says, her voice trailing off at the mention of James, “It was very unlike me to do that. It’s been years since I did something like that. If ever,”

“I could tell,”

Now it’s Y/N’s turn to look bashful. She occupies her flustered embarrassment by fixing Aster’s already perfectly placed baby blanket. As much as Spencer enjoys watching her get flustered by the memories of their hook-up, he doesn’t want to make her too nervous. After all, in all the years that they were neighbors, he always thought she’d make a good friend. Maybe she will, in a very unconventional way. Then again, Spencer was never one for tradition.

“Well, let’s just say that what I did was not like me,” she says, feeding Aster some cereal stars, the same ones that Henry liked as a baby, “At all,” she adds for emphasis, smiling as Aster nibbles on the cereal, “What about you? What’s something crazy that you’d want to do?”

Besides the revenge cheating, Spencer thinks, keeping that comment to himself. He’s not one to do anything uncharacteristic. Most of his days consist of traveling for work, spending his free time three wheeling after Penelope and Luke, or visiting his mother. All together, he’s pretty boring.

“I always wanted a cat,” Spencer says, “My wife doesn’t like them,”

“How could you not like cats?” Y/N says, “I mean they are so intelligent and self sufficient. And they’re very good companions,” she says, repeating the commonly known benefits of cats.

“I know,” Spencer says, “I had one growing up, Alfie was my best friend when I didn’t have anyone. He helped me get through the nights when I’d be up hearing my parents scream at each other. Or when my mom would think that there were people after us so she’d make us sleep in our basement,” Spencer explains, remembering the comfort he’d feel when Alfie would purr in his arms.

“Your mom is she?” Y/N says, unaware of Spencer’s mother’s condition, “I don’t mean to pry, Spencer. You don’t have to say anything,”

“It’s okay,” Spencer says, “I trust you, Y/N. You’re a very good listener. It’s nice to have a friend,” he tells her, holding her hand just as she held his, “But my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was little. So growing up was hard, she did her best. She was the best mom she could be. And uh, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple years ago,”

“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” Y/N says, looking across the table at him, “That’s a lot for a young person to deal with. I’m sure you were an incredibly brave little boy, you’re a very strong man, now,” she says, looking at him with such care in her eyes it makes Spencer want to kiss her.

He has a terrible habit of falling too quick when people are nice to him. Spencer has spent his entire life falling in love in the cruelest way. He’ll fall passively, as if he’s stumbling over all the red flags and warning signs and after one drink in a bar he’s sleeping with his ex-wife’s adulterous partner’s ex-wife. And now he’s staring at someone who’s driveway he’d help shovel when her husband was too drunk or too selfish to help, thinking about how soft her lips were when she kissed him.

Lost in his daydream, Spencer doesn’t notice when Y/N starts packing up her keys and shoving the plastic container of Aster’s cereal into her diaper bag. One of two things must have happened: his staring freaked her out, sending her to run for, what he will admit is probably for the best, the hills or she has an actual emergency. He supposes it’s the former.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” Spencer asks, as he watches her get up from her seat and sling on Aster’s diaper bag, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Spencer,” she says, beaming uncharacteristically, “We’re going go get you a cat,” she says, keys in hand, ready to head out the door, leaving Spencer dumbfounded in her wake.

“A cat?” he says skeptically, even though he’ll be the first to admit having a cat again would be nice. In the seconds that it takes for his mind to make the decision, his eyes are busy scanning over Y/N’s face. He can’t let himself stare for too long, he’s already feeling like he’s flying through the freefall, “A cat,” he says, this time more confident.

“A cat,” Y/N confirms, smiling back at Spencer for a moment too long, “Let’s get Spencer a cat,” she says, crouching down to Aster. Her voice raises an octave; her delightful tone drips of nothing, but love and adoration for her daughter. He hates the pang of jealousy the twinges in his heart. He’d never resent Rebecca for the way that their life turned out, but part of him always dreamed of being a father one day.

“Come on, Spencer,” Y/N says, pushing the stroller towards the exit, “there’s a shelter around the corner, I’ll drive because it’s a pain to carry all this, so meet you there?” she says, her eyes and expression looking hopeful to Spencer’s observation skills. And before he can stop himself, he rests a hand on the stoller, stopping Y/N from exiting.

“Nonsense,” he tells her, “Give me the bag, I’ll take it and you got the stroller and Aster. It’s so nice out, we can walk together,” he offers, hoping to extend their conversation for as long as he can milk it. After so long with only his colleagues to talk to, it’s nice to have someone else to confide in. Especially when those people understand his pain so acutely.

“I don’t want to bother you with Aster,” Y/N says, prepared, as it seems, to make things easier for others while in turn making it harder on herself. That’s something that Spencer knows a thing or two about, “She’s sweet, but if she gets fussy it can be a lot,”

“I love babies, Y/N,” Spencer says, crouching down so he’s eyelevel with Aster, “And your daughter is probably the calmest baby I’ve ever seen,”

“Well, it’s your funeral if she starts screaming in the middle of the shelter,” Y/N says, handing him the diaper bag as they head out the door. He chuckles to himself, noticing how easy it is for his ex-neighbor to hide the softer, more vulnerable side of herself in favor of a snarkier, harder exterior.

“I’m actually pretty good with babies,” Spencer says, taking two long strides to catch up with Y/N, “Do you want to hear the story of how I delivered a baby?” he says, unable to contain his smile at the site of Y/N’s bemused expression.

Two hours later, Spencer and Y/N arrived at his apartment with his newly adopted kitten, Aster, and an entire armful of cat toys and pet supplies in tow. The little gray kitten sleeps contently in her new pet carrier. Spencer debated with himself the whole car ride home about what to name the new edition to his family.

“You really didn’t have to come here, Y/N. I appreciate it and all, but I know you probably have better things to do than haul a 10 month old up three flights of stairs,” Spencer says, apologizing for being the reason she’s going out of her way.

“What are friends for, Spencer,” she says nonchalantly as she puts down Aster’s carseat on the floor, “It’s not like we have anything else to do, but go home to an empty apartment,” she adds, reminding them both of their perpetually lonely existence.

It’s certainly a change for Spencer, but a change that Valentina would be happy about, he thinks to himself as they open the packages of cat beds, toys, and food.

“Poppy and you will be very happy together,” Y/N says, smiling as she unzips the pet carrier to get Poppy out, “She’s going to be such a lucky little kitty,” she says, her voice going up to that similar tone she used with Aster back in the cafe.

“You really are such a pretty little kitten,” Y/N coos, rubbing her thumb across the bridge of the kitten’s nose. Poppy purrs happily in Y/N’s hands and Spencer is left wondering if it would be against Valentina’s advice for her to stay over for dinner and maybe into the morning.

He brushes those thoughts away, but it’s difficult when all he can see is Y/N introducing Aster to Poppy and all he can hear is her using that sweet voice to talk to them both.

“You’re a very good mom, Y/N,” Spencer whispers, sitting on the floor with the trio, “I think I need you to write me an advice book,” he jokes, even though he speaks a half-truth.

“I think you’ll be a natural. You’re brilliant and kind and very sweet,” Y/N says, helping to boost his confidence, but taint his heart in the same breath, “You seem like dad material,” she adds, settling comfortably on the floor as she pets a purring Poppy.

“I wanted kids,” Spencer says shyly, approaching a subject he hasn’t dared to tell anyone, “But Rebecca didn’t. And I wasn’t going to make her do something to her body that she didn’t want to. Marriage, as you know all too well, is about sacrifices. And I made that sacrifice a long time ago,” Spencer says, “And now, now I feel like I’d mess a kid up too much,”

“I know that it’s difficult navigating that with a spouse, Spencer. And for what it’s worth, if you end up a cat dad, you’ll be the best cat dad there is,” Y/N says, handing the small kitten to him. Aster’s eyes light up with excitement as she sees Poppy.

“Gentle to kitty,” Spencer says, holding out Poppy for Aster to pet and holding her other hand to show her how to pet the cat properly, “Kitty so soft,” he says, doing his best to mimic the light and airy voice that Y/N uses with her.

“You better stop, Spence,” Y/N says, laughing as she watches Spencer and Aster together, “You’ll make her want a cat if you don’t,” she teases.

“You know, there’s a lot of research done into the theory that raising a child with a pet, particularly a cat, increases their emotional intelligence. Not to mention responsibility and independence,” Spencer says, ready to list off peer viewed articles on the topic if Y/N gives him the word.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Y/N says, picking up Aster’s car seat, “It was a nice day, Spencer. I don’t really remember the last time I actually laughed like that,” she says, “But, Aster and I will get out of your hair now. It’s almost time for her afternoon nap,”

“Okay,” Spencer says, knowing words of understanding come to echo back in the loneliness of his empty apartment, “Of course, but uh, Y/N. Thank you,” he says, his voice turning into a unsure tone he hates. It reminds him of the boy he used to be, not the man who’s been through hell and back.

“It’s what friends are for, neighbor,” Y/N says, swinging the diaper bag on her shoulder. She plants a quick kiss on his cheek. Her lips don’t linger— but the aftershock stings like a tattoo. She doesn’t give him much time to react.

He wants to ask her to stay because he also can’t remember the last time he laughed that hard too. But it doesn’t take a profiler to sense the tension that blankets the room. Maybe it’s the way his heart feels heavy when he hears Y/N’s voice change as she talks to Aster and Poppy. The unmentionable, yet unregettable and unforgettable night they shared follows them around as the mime fake niceties and casual small talk.

“Bye,” Spencer says, smiling as best as he can when all he can think about is the shape of her lips and Valentina's cautionary words and the emptiness of his apartment.

Well, not completely empty.

Still purring in his arms, Poppy wiggles in an effort to free herself. Spencer’s read enough pet owner manuals to know that it’s important for cats to get acclimated to their new environment as soon as possible. It promotes a healthy and happy relationship between pet and owner. He lets Poppy down and sits on the floor with his legs extended outward.

“Hey there, little kitty,” Spencer whispers, petting a single finger across the cat’s tiny back. She looks so small next to his feet, “It looks like it’s just you and me,” he says, sadly.

Poppy attacks his laces, throwing the string between her small paws. Spencer frowns at the sight, wondering darkly to himself how on Earth he, something so broken and damaged, will be able to care for something so wholesome and innocent. He picks her up, smiling as the kitten licks his hand with her sandpaper tongue. She settles down comfortably against his chest, her purring drowning out the dullness in his mind that reminds him that he’s never going to be himself again.

His personal phone hardly ever rings.

Spencer sits up from his crouched position on the couch. Poppy sleeps peacefully on his chest so he does his best to not disturb the kitten. He must have fallen asleep to the dull tones of late night television featuring the clownish jokes and immature humor of a man in an expensive suit and a terrible hairpiece. She prefers the bed, but it’s hard for Spencer waking up in the cold bed after so many years with someone beside him.

The glowing blue light burns his eyes as he looks at his phone. Unable to see the blurry name, Spencer picks up the phone without hesitation.

“Dr. Spencer Reid speaking,” he says, wondering if it’s his mother’s care facility.

“Are you always this formal, Doctor Reid?”

Spencer, sitting up, wakes up Poppy in the process. He pets her in apology as she finds a warm spot on the couch. Spencer’s attention, however, is glued entirely to the woman on the other end of the phone call.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice sounding straggled from sleep, “it’s late,”

“So you are a genius after all,” Y/N whispers into the phone, “there were always rumors on the block about you. And them,” she says, her venomous words dripping with familiarity. He doesn’t want to think about the rumors that circulated his former suburban Hell.

Norman Rockwell would have gone mad there with the smarmy men and their stories of college tailgates and the gossiping women and their stories of their so-called friends. It’s not to say that Spencer wasn’t happy there with Rebecca. He was. And he’d venture to say that Y/N was happy, at one point, with James. Or maybe they played ‘happy’ like little kids play pretend. Fake adults playing house but their shattered hearts were made of real glass- not the kid stuff.

“I’d rather not think about that if that’s okay with you,” Spencer says, his clipped tone revealing that he doesn't particularly care for late night phone calls, “Is there something you needed, Y/N?” he asks, turning off the glowing television. He’s left in the dark with only the moonlight to keep him company.

“You,” she says, sounding dreary despite her obvious attempts at being intriguing. She doesn’t need to be anything but herself for Spencer to want her company. And while Valentina’s words echo in his mind, Spencer can’t help but hear himself in her breaking voice, “I’m texting you my address,” she says, hanging up without waiting for an answer.

His phone buzzes as her name appears on the screen. He is reminded just how much he doesn’t use his personal cell phone when his and Rebecca’s smiling faces appear on the bright screen. Somehow, it’s harder to change the wallpaper than it was to sign the divorce papers.

Spencer glances at Poppy. The kitten is curled on the couch not having to play ‘happy’ she just is. She doesn’t have to worry about being anything, but herself. The twisted thing is that Spencer has only ever felt like his old self when he was with Y/N. Maybe they are chasing ghosts, clinging on to the last hope. Or maybe they’re seeking something beautifully fractured and meant to stitch back together.

Spencer wasn’t sure what to expect for Y/N’s apartment. They weren’t close enough neighbors to have spent time in each other’s homes. Even though he’s left wondering if Rebecca has seen more of her old him through James than he ever did. And, on the other hand, did Rebecca bring James into their room, their house, their home. He has to shake the thoughts of the past from his mind so as to not let them sour the present.

He knocks lightly on the walnut door, not wanting to wake Aster. Y/N appears, wearing pajamas, making Spencer’s cardigan and corduroys look very out of place.

“You came!” Y/N whisper-screams, dragging Spencer in by the hand excitedly, “Get in here, neighbor,”

The hallway entrance gives way to a cozy living room with cream colored walls and cherry wood hard floors. She could have only moved into her new place in the last month or so, but somehow she’s made it look like it’s been lived in for years.

“Well, I probably wasn’t going to get much sleep either,” Spencer says, whispering as he watches Y/N move about the room with a kind of energy that could only be described as intense, “Doesn’t look like you get much either,” he ventures, taking in the bright lights, discarded books, and flashing television.

“Nope,” she says, emphasizing the ‘p’ as she plops down on her sofa, “I haven’t slept well in a week,” she adds, carelessly mentioning the unmentionable.

“Stressed induced insomnia is cyclical in some. You’re stressed and anxious and then you can’t sleep. And the lack of sleep only furthers the extent of the insomnia,” Spencer says, so into his facts that he doesn’t even notice that their fingers are intertwined until he lowers his gaze.

His first thought, despite every ounce of his personal reservation, is that her hands look like they were made to be held. Spencer can’t remember the last time someone held his hand gently like this.

“I didn’t invite you over for you to rattle on about sleep deprivation,” Y/N says, her hand breaking from his to trail up his cardigan covered arm. The innocence of the touch long gone and replaced by something less so.

“What did you invite me over for then—”

Her mouth is on his and he can taste the bitter bite of red wine on her tongue. The red flag waves frantically in front of his eyes as Y/N starts moving towards his neck. Her lips dance down his skin, stinging him in its wake. He can feel his head cloud as Y/N’s hands thread in his hair.

“Y/N,” Spencer says, his voice hushed and fragile, “We can’t, Y/N. We can’t. You’re too drunk,”

She doesn’t say anything, but untangles her hands from his hair. Y/N rests her forehead against his. She refuses to meet his eyes, maybe in embarrassment or uncertainty he’s not sure. She’s so close Spencer wonders if he could get drunk from it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her eyes flickering up in a small moment of bravery.

“It’s okay,” Spencer says, understanding her pained voice in a familiarity that no one should recognize, “I understand, Y/N. I understand,” he whispers, placing a kiss on her forehead in what he hopes says more than his words ever could.

The silence in the living room rings in Spencer’s ears. He closes his eyes as he kisses her, preferring to not taste a drunken mistake on her lips.

“Will you stay?” she asks, “Please, I just— I can’t be alone anymore,”

Spencer’s heart can’t break anymore, but if it could she would have just annihilated him. Her eyes meet his in a look that only two broken hearts can truly understand. He nods in response, letting her lead him to her bedroom. His mind churns to thoughts the next all those days ago as the dark bedroom reminds him of his own.

Spencer lets her get comfortable in the bed, finding a space next to her. Y/N’s warm back molds perfectly into his front. He holds her close, wondering for himself as well if the skin to skin closeness will chase away the ghosts. It’s hard to tell though when you’re the ghost and your past is what’s chasing you.

“I see him when I sleep,” her bleakness bleeding out from the blankets, blinds him with reality. All he wants to do is run away from the ghostly girl in his dreams. The girl that smells like Rebecca, that moves like Rebecca, that loves him and holds him like Rebecca.

“It’s okay,” Spencer says, repeating his words and feeling like a broken record in more ways than one, “I see her too,”

“Does she love you like begged her too,” Y/N asks, drawing shapes on his skin, “it’s okay to pretend I’m her,”

If just closes his eyes, maybe he can smell her perfume. But all he can smell is lavender when she wore apple and cinnamon. The soft sheets hug his body, lulling him into a much needed sleep.

Her words shoot to kill, but only because they are true.

“Will you hate me if I pretend that you’re him?” she asks. Maybe he should have expected it. Maybe he should have seen it coming. He can run through all the maybes in his mind until it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.

“I could never hate you,” Spencer whispers, moving his arms as Y/N flips over in the bed. Their heads line inches apart, eyes looking anyway but forward.

He gives in first, knowing that it might be his Kryptonite, giving into people who will inevitably hurt him. And yet he’s left wondering if a part of him likes the sting of being shoved away. He knows that he can never hate her. But he wonders if he could ever love her.

And as he closes her eyes the only consolation is that the love affair maimed her too.

Taglist | Add Me! | Tell Me What You Thought Here |

@alexlovescriminalminds @livvieclinestarkeys @winterwhore @reidslibrarybook @sleepyspencer @beepbooptoop @acoolnight @cuddlyklaus @givemeth @donald4spiderman @uhuhuh @fightingdragonswithreid @radtwinkie @reidsbookclub @lowensashleigh @nessy-nygma @meghan52300 @shirleyrose @royalestrellas @outlawedmando @mimischaos @obislut @grogygrunge @kirencer @spencerreidsmommy @answer-the-sirens @mynameberose @clownboy-yeehonk @spencerreidat3am @drayshadow @dani5216 @sassymoon @reidsacademia @malboroniightz @shemarmooresfedora @kahootlobbymusic @boldlyvoid

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader angst #my writing #tying you to me

207 notes · View notes