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barnes-and-noble · 4 years

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Bucky x Reader

2K Words AN || I know this blog isn't for this stuff but - mood - I'm not feeling that well and so this is what happened. & i will be getting some sleep now and get to replies in the morning - sorry friends.

You were sick, exhausted, the life force was being sucked out of you. You could say you felt like you've been run over by a semi but more realistically you felt like Glenn in season 7 of The Walking Dead. Between the fever making you sweat, leading to the chills that made you bundle up just to sweat some more - the migraine that you were sure was going to split your skull and of course your boss down your throat… You were in a constant state of miserable but deadlines needed to be met and missing work wasn't an option at this point in the year. You worked hard to get this far in Journalism and this death virus wasn't going to stop you - maybe hinder a little bit with the way your stomach felt when you stood up too quick though.

You also didn't have your bionic boyfriend around, he was on a mission with the Avengers - it felt beyond cliche saying that and even thinking it but this is what your life consisted of. The worries never left when he did, you knew the risks even when he tried his best to convince you otherwise. You trusted him and the entire team, knowing they would work together and do their absolute best to all come home safe and in one piece but - there was always a but. If you didn't stay busy and hyper focused on work that thought only grew until it consumed you into panic attacks and frankly you were sure your nervous system couldn't handle something like that right now.

__--__--__

Bucky wasn't supposed to be home for another three days and that was just the scheduled date, usually it took a little longer or things here and there on their way home. He called, still learning how to text, when he could but it wasn't often when saving the world, or other worlds. However it worked out you still had to carry on with your life while he was away and you did, just with a few more gray hairs.

You stopped for a can of soup on your wait home, your baby hairs glued to your temple from the constant hot and cold war, your eyes glossed over and every step felt like walking through quick sand, actually sighing and catching your breath like you ran a marathon once you got back in your car. Home wasn't too far and you hugged yourself tight as you made your way up the steps to your apartment. Small, one bedroom but it was home and had a bath that you so desperately wanted to fill will boiling water. If you didn't have a brain slicing migraine you might of noticed the soft light from outside reflecting off some metal on the couch but instead you kept the lights off with small whimpers as you had to untuck your arms from around yourself to set your things down. Your body may have been indecisive about being hot or cold but your pants were coming off right in front of the door, your shoes still in the leg holes as you slid them off with.

“Baby…” Your energy so low you didn't even jump, a small flinch and your heart picked up to hummingbird speed but you just stepped back. Bucky had said something about protecting yourself but none of those lessons were coming back from memory. He flipped on the switch and relief washed over every inch of you seeing him, he was home. He was safe and still had only one metal arm. Your migraine on the other hand only let you get a glimpse go him before your eyes were screwed shut. You rushed into him even though it was more of a fall, his arms wrapping around you to catch you as he whispered your name a few times, “Whats wrong?” His voice full of genuine concern as you slouched against his chest. He smelled nice - like soap and some residue gunpowder, his hands were nice, the hard pressure of the metal one and the soft stroke of the other. Nuzzling into him with a whine was your answer. You never realized how much you missed him till he was standing in front of you again. Figuring yourself to be some kind of Miss. Independent, which you were but sick mode made you needy, not something you were used to but beyond grateful he was here for you.

His right hand feeling your forehead was enough of an answer. Picking up your somewhat limp body against him and taking you the few steps to the bedroom, “You should of stayed home…” Laying you on the bed, the coolness of his metal hand had you pressing into it as he pushed your hair out of your face and you curled up into the fetal position. “Stay put.” You couldn't argue if you wanted, not now that you were laying down. You couldn't even express how happy you were to see him in this state. You heard the water running though and it made your lips pull into a smile. Once that exterior layer, yeah like an onion, was peeled away he was soft. Bucky was the most caring person when it came to those he was close to, seeing him and Steve was proof of that. He would do anything for him and honestly it was obvious Steve would do the same. They only had each other for so long and with what Bucky went through… You were surprised you were where you were with him. Talk of his arm and Hydra were still off limits but the night terrors on occasion let you know they were still in his mind and you would wait till he was ready for that.

Your eyes were on the bathroom, unmoved from when he left and that little smile that only showed the top half of his teeth made you feel like it was more butterflies than nausea. “Come on, baby…” He was gentle, your whines in protest faded out when he pulled you out of the fetal position, unzipping your jacket and pulling each arm through leaving it flat on the bed, breathing hot breath on his hand before moving it under your shirt and against your stomach to pull your shirt over your head, helping each arm slide out. “Have you eaten? Had any water? I know you like to live like your the Sahara.” That smile again and he scoops you up off the bed, the warmth from him, even under his clothes is nice but it doesn't last long enough. He sets you down on your feet, his hand on yours placing it on his shoulder as he bends down, your cheeks hot as he pulls the fabric of your panties down. Its not sexual and its not like he hasn't seen you naked before but - its something else but it still makes you burn hot. His hands moving up the sides of your hips and waist going to your back to unhook your bra and letting it fall down your arms, his hand on your back and holding your arm helping you step in. Bubbles built up past the top of the tub and they sway as you step in, Bucky lowering to his knees as you lower in and finally settle. His right hand pushing your hair back and you manage a soft smile with your eyes closed, “Im gone for a week and you're withering away. Makes me think I should retire.” He laughs and you could swear it warmed you from the inside out more than this bath.

“You say retire and it makes me think you're the sick one.” You reach up and grab his hand giving it a tug, he knows exactly what you're insinuating and he breathes out the soft laugh this time, when he moves away you cant help but peek. Stripping his shirt off, a new soon to be scar on his back, his hair damp from his shower he must have taken earlier as it falls around his face. He looks back at you and you quickly close your eyes tight and bite your lip. “Perv.” He laughs again, soft and short, and you cant help the small giggle that escapes you. You let him undress and you open your eyes again when he's pulling your arm to turn you to have your back against his chest and theres no fight to it, your head laying against his right shoulder, his metal hand submerged and on your thigh while he kisses your temple and pets your hair back on the top of your head, “You work too hard, it wont kill you to take a day off.”

You ignore him, “Wont it rust?” You move your hand over the metal one, its hard and you can feel each indentation of the layers but theres not even a dent on it, “Or electrocute?” You look up at him, his dark lashes making his eyes look like a dark ocean wave. He just rolls his eyes at you though and giving you that weak in the knees smile and giving you a soft ‘Shh’. You usually would be all on him about what he did, what happened, who happened, rambling on about the not even in comparison journalism you had been doing but still going on about it as if it was. This was different, you being quiet when he got home, “I love when you ask a million questions but you need to rest, body and mind.” Another kiss to the temple and you nodded your head, nuzzling against his neck. He had never experience sick you, usually more upbeat, full of quips and anything else that came to your mind but he was right and you were too worn out to argue it, because even if he was right you would usually argue it.

__--__--__

You don't know how much time had passed but when you opened your eyes again you were in bed, in one of his sweatshirts and a pair of socks and a pair of his boxers. Bucky right next to you, his hand on your arm as he slept as if you moved it from him he'd wake up. Instead of testing the theory you moved closer, your knee draped over his thigh and your head on his chest, you can see the pull of the smile on his lips in the dim lights that come from the streetlights outside your window.  “Thank you.” Your voice soft, kissing his jaw a few times to trail it up to his ear, his hand coming and squeezing your waist tight, “Sleep, baby girl.” His voice gravely and stern, and slumping against him with a pout, his hand relaxes, “I’ll make it up to you in the morning.”  His metal hand coming and resting in your calf over his thigh, fingers curling around it holding it there as his other hand kept you close around your waist.

Your bed is much easier to sleep in with him, your home feeling more like one when he's in it and you realize how in just a few short months he has become your home. Nothing feels more comfortable and more at ease than when you're with him, the thought of him actually retiring cross your mind. You could have this all the time - but that was a selfish thought and you would never think of bringing that conversation up. You may need him but the entire universe needed him, his team and he needed them as well. You were sure its what helped level him from everything he had been through, knowing they were still there for him, with him. “Im happy to be home.” your voice a whisper against his skin, moving your hand up his bare chest, your fingers find his dog tags and with those in your hand you sleep.

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1rosex · 6 years

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BTS reaction to their s/o getting sun burnt

Request: Bts reaction on you getting sun burn (?) Idk lol Tks u baby :)

Masterlist

Jin

Jin had invited you to the beach with the boys, and you had happily agreed. It wasn't till you guys got there and were unpacking that you realized J-Hope had forgotten the sunscreen.

"Hoseok I can't believe you've doomed us all like this!" Jin said dramatically while staying in the shade of his umbrella. "My fair skin is sure to burn! I can't go out into the sun." He fell back onto the sand and stayed there. Hoseok apologized to everyone but Jungkook and Jimin were already racing towards the ocean. You stared at them longingly before deciding that you wanted to join in the fun and risk getting burned over staying in the shade wallowing in boredom.

"Well, I'm going to go splash around." You shrugged while heading off towards the water. Jin looked up at you, hesitating before he got to his feet and ran after you. No way he'd let you go have fun all by yourself.

The next day, Jin was fine. Everyone was, except for you. Now you were sitting on the couch the morning after, wincing as Jin applied moisturizer to the burns on your shoulders.

"Aish, I knew the shade was safer. Besides, fighting fire with fire isn't a good idea."

u see what I did there

Namjoon

“Y/N I told you to put on sun screen!” Namjoon scolded when you came out of the bedroom looking stiff as a board.

“You don’t understand! I did! I told you that it was too hot to go to the carnival.” You whined while pulling your sleeve up to see how bad it was. Oh, it was bad. You were definitely sun burnt.

The prior day, Namjoon had wanted to go to the carnival while the sun was busy blazing everything in sight. You told him that you were going to burn no matter what, because sun screen never seemed to work for you. But you gave into his pleading and ended up going anyways You had fun, but your skin disagreed.

You looked up to see Namjoon pursing his lips and chuckling. “Don’t laugh!” You frowned, and he looked away to hide his smile.

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell if your face is red from anger or the sun.”

Yoongi

Yoongi didnt want to go out, the sun was particularly bright that day and the clear sky made it worse. But you really really wanted to go get some ice cream because of the hot weather. You had eventually gotten him to drive you, only for the road to the ice cream shop to be closed off.

“Well, look’s like we gotta go back home.” Yoongi muttered while fanning himself.

“I’m getting my ice cream.” You said stubbornly and Yoongi didn’t even time to ask before you got out of the car and started to walk. Yoongi called after you, but you kept walking. He sighed loudly before opening the door and hurrying after you.

The next day your shoulders and neck were bright red from the sun that you had suffered through for your ice cream. You were applying some aloe products while also trying to ignore Yoongi’s disapproving stare from the doorway. Somehow, your boyfriend had remained untouched by the sun while you cooked to a crisp.

“Told you it was a bad idea. This is why I stay indoors.”

J-Hope

Hoseok tried to pull you into a hug but you quickly darted out of his reach. He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and looked at you with hurt in his eyes.

“Why wont you let me hug you?” He asked sadly.

“I’m sorry, everything hurts. I’m really sun burnt.” You confessed, only then did Hoseok notice how red your skin was.

“Wow! I didn't know you could get any hotter!” He said with a smile. You rolled your eyes at his joke as he started to laugh and clap his hands. “It’s not funnyyyy! It hurts and I seriously put like fifty layers of sunscreen on..” You sighed with defeat. The sun was cruel and unforgiving.

“Maybe a shower will help?” Hoseok suggested. You stared at him in horror. Yes, they did help, but at first they just stung.

“No thanks.”

“Y/N it’s good for you come on.” He reached out to you but you jumped out of his reach and started to run away. Hoseok spent the next few minutes trying to chase you down.

“You can’t run forever!”

Jimin

When Jimin invited you out to the beach, he didn’t know it would be so hot. The sun was unforgiving, but the ocean water was warm. You two spent the whole time playing in the water or on the sand, both convinced that the sun screen would protect you.

The next morning Jimin awoke to some stiffness in his shoulders. They were slightly sore and a little red, but nothing too bad. He was distracted from his own pain when you groaned besides him and carefully sat up. Your arms were sun burnt and your legs had changed shades as well.

“Oh man this means I can’t hug you.” Jimin pouted. You glared at him, your eyes still squinty with sleep. Jimin laughed at your cute angry expression, before getting out of bed.

“Okay stop glaring at me! I’ll go get some aloe don’t move.. not that you can.“

Taehyung

You had called Taehyung to come visit you since you did not want to take a step outside. When he got there he kept staring at you carefully, he knew something was off but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. You turned to look at him while he continued to stare at your face.

“... What?” You asked eventually.

“Something's different.” He squinted. You laughed and looked away, knowing he was probably talking about how your face and neck had turned a red tint.

“Remember yesterday when we went for a walk and you insisted that we didn’t need sun screen? Yeah, turns out we did.” You stared at him accusingly as he snapped his fingers.

“Aha! That’s what it is.” He smiled triumphantly before slipping into his thoughts. You noticed that he was thinking, you could practically see the gears spinning over his head. “...What now?” You asked as Taehyung smiled.

“Are you really sun burnt or are you just that hot?”

“You’ve been hanging out with Jin too much.”

Jungkook

Jungkook watched you cross the living room, looking like a stiff robot. He watched in amusement as you bumped into the doorway and immediately recoiled, hissing in pain. You whipped around when you heard him snickering quietly.

“Don’t laugh Jeon Jungkook! This is your fault!” You said angrily. Jungkook had convinced you to go to the beach with him despite the hot temperatures the day before. While he was fine, you had definitely felt the sun’s wrath. Your entire body seemed to be covered in painful sun burns, mostly your shoulders and neck. Jungkook tried to stop himself from smiling, failing as to do so as he looked up at you.,

“Sorry, who are you? Have you seen Y/N? They look kind of like you, but not red.” He threw his head back and started to crack up at his own joke while you stood at the doorway with crossed arms. Eventually his laughter died down and he pretended to wipe a tear before standing up.

“Okay okay okay, I’m done. Let’s just go get you some aloe so you don’t look like a walking board.”

I do not own any gifs

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comebeonetwothree · 3 years

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Blog #4: Red Rocks and More Red Rocks

06/16/2021

This blog was probably the most challenging to write yet, considering we have just been hiking a lot and seeing a fuck ton of red rocks everywhere.

They all look different, but they are all just red rocks. Round, sharp, big, small, dirt-like rocks… its all the same, but different.

Throughout all the states we have seen, the terrain has changed drastically as we pass over each border. New Mexico was straight white desert land, Texas was flat as fuck with windmills everywhere, and Arkansas was even more flat but without windmills.

Colorado, however, was very different throughout each region. We started in sand dunes and deserts and worked our way up to the mountains with lots of rain and snow run off. Then being in Colorado Springs, there was a mix of desert and moist mountains, plus some massive red rocks.

Traveling into Utah, there was not much difference in terrains, just some different shades of the red rocks.

Zion National Park was the ultimate red rock arena. Ironic, since we started off seeing Garden of the Gods -both are red rocky parks- but completely different.

Who

Who are the New York girls…

This chapter of traveling includes less new friends, but more last-minute links with old pals from college. It seems like it was just yesterday we were out in Oneonta… oh wait.

Myrene was a family friend of Mary. She opened her house up to us three, as a nice break up between campsites.

We got to wash our clothes and shower; you’ll never know how satisfying a shower is until after living without one for a few days.

Her house was in Colorado Springs, about 30 minutes away from Garden of the Gods.

They chefed up for us the first night with a little surf and turf; steak and salmon with a bombass salad.

Thanks, Myrene.

My dear friend Dee Jay, also known as, Daniel Joseph McDonnell, aka DJ, happened to be camping out in the same area as us in Blue Lakes Colorado. However, due to of lack of service, we had no idea.

Being in such close proximity of us, he sent it to Utah to come hang and meet up with his friend Kailen.

Kailen visited Oneonta this past semester. After meeting him, I mentioned this trip.

He was so welcoming to take us out with him while in Salt Lake City, and give us a locals only tour.

Upon arrival in Orem, Utah, Kailen gave us some good recommendations for hiking and an invitation to a house party being thrown that night… a house party in Utah??? Yah, not what we expected either.

At the party we caught up with DJ and his buddy Brad who was on the cross-country excursion with him.

Brad was a cool quiet dude; he goes to Buffalo State for engineering. He is also in classes to become a pilot…pretty dope.

At the party, we were constantly being asked if we were the girls from New York. Yes, yes, we are.

I guess everyone else there was a part of a friend group or Mormons.

What

What are you doing here…?

Bottom line, there is a fuck ton of red rocks, if you couldn’t tell from the beginning of this.

While in Colorado Springs, we got to experience the Garden of the Gods. It is this beautiful State Park with crazy large rock formations. They were smooth red rocks.

Before the sun set, we drove down the block to a LEGAL marijuana dispensary and acquired some flowers ;)

One pre-roll, and two chocolate bars later we returned to the Gardens of the Gods for a fiery sunset.

The atmosphere around the area already appears to have a sunset hue throughout the day, guess why??

Yup, the red rocks.

But it gives the sunsets this crazy enhanced color, with a little joint it make the sunset even more spectacular.

The following day in Colorado Springs, we went to visit this town that the locals call, “the town stuck in time,” also known as Manitou.

It was this super cute hippy dippy town with herbal Apothecary’s, glass shops, and bohemian little boutiques.

After, we stumbled across this crazy dope bar in Downtown Colorado Springs. It was an instillation art museum bar, and the main exhibit at the time was based on the Netflix original The Queens Gambit.

This giant bar had about seven different bar areas within the one location. Each spread out and each with their own vibes and aesthetics.

The vibes ranged from the specific beers they had on tap and the cocktails they offered, to the wood used for the bar top and lighting. There was even an upstairs with neon paintings, where you were provided with 3-D glasses to get the full effect.

There was an outdoor area with cornhole and an indoor game room with every board game you could imagine.

I could live in that bar forever… I peeked on a Wednesday night <3

In Utah, we rented a cute barn Air bnb for three nights, in a lovely air-conditioned upstairs unit.

We cleaned all our camping dishes as soon as we arrived, utilizing the water as much as possible.

The following day we went on this lovely hike to see some great views, and yup, you guessed it… some more red rocks!!!

After the hike in 100-degree weather, we decided to look for the nearest body of water to submerge in.

We went to Utah Lake State Park, a body of water that does not exceed 9 feet at its highest water level (and it stains your skin).

I thought I’d seen the nastiest water in the Hudson River, but nope, this shit was so dirty I could not see my toes when the water level was at my ankles.

Post standing in the water for 20 minutes questioning if we should go in, we indeed did not fully submerge, thank god because Maya informed us Utah often dumps sewage in the lake to dispose of it.

I instantly felt like I was in the lake in the Simson’s movie that stored Spidey Pig’s halo of shit.

That night we went to the Utah house party. We had no idea what to expect going in. Usually, house parties are small gatherings, but here we were the bitches from New York.

A small gathering is indeed what it was.

The following day we set off for a hike to some hot springs. Hot springs are natural hot water pools often off the side of a river or creek.

These hot springs were different from the ones we saw in New Mexico, it was about a mile long of multiple hot pools. The farther up we went the hotter the springs got.

After hiking two miles in 105-degree weather, the heat from the water was our enemy. It also smelled like rotten eggs?? I guess they forget to warn you of these things before you start the hike.

Post hike we picked up some Chinese takeout food and went on our way back home to pack up for our departure.

Driving to Zion area, we passed some new textured red rocks, these were sharper and more linear.

We spent two days there, because it is near impossible to see the whole park in that heat, let alone in a day.

At nights, we would cook dinner on our portable propane stove. The first night we chefed up turkey burgers, with sauteed onions and zucchini. The second night we made camping mac and cheese… boxed mac, cheddar hot dogs, and grilled chicken with a side of roasted veggies. The last night we ate the left-over chicken in a southwestern salad wrap.

Cooking in the woods is probably my favorite part of camping because you reinvent ways to create easy meals that satisfy your every need.

Where

Where to next…

Colorado Springs was a gorgeous area with a very large city and hikes everywhere. It was the best combination of hmm I want to go out on the town for some drinks, and hey let’s get lost in the woods and hope a bear doesn’t attack us.

The quote, “take a hike!” really applies here. You can get annoyed at someone in a bar and say, “take a hike” and it is very possible for them to just walk outside and take a fucking hike.

Post springs, we hit up Utah.

We set off on our 9-hour drive to Utah!! The home of Mormons and more red rock mountains.

In Utah there is a surplus of children. I know this sounds like it would be anywhere like the baby boom, but this shit is super locational.

Specifically in Orem, which is right outside of Salt Lake City, their target audience in stores is children and parents.

The Walmart there was divided up between 25% of food items, 25% household items, and 50% baby accessories and food.

While out on the town, basically every person has a baby or kids in bulk. About 5-6 is the average amount of kids per family.

Within Utah we stayed in Orem and Virgin (which is right outside of Zion National Park).

The town of Virgin was exactly how it sounds, prudent, quiet with little to no action.

While camping there for three nights, we traveled to Zion National Park for the day. Zion was this gorgeously large area of BIG red rocks.

So, my question is, why is that one area of red rocks considered a national park? What makes that area better than the other red rock areas for the national parks to take ownership of it?

When

When the fire starts to burn…

While in Colorado Springs for two nights, we caught up on laundry and energy, in a nice, air-conditioned house.

We drove to Utah and stayed there for six nights, three nights were spent in a loft Air bnb, and the other three were spent camping out in the desert in our tent, while DJ and Brad slept in their hammocks.

We were lucky enough to get some shade within the average 100-degree weather of the deserts. But not lucky enough to have a campfire, since there was a fire ban in effect, due to the lack of rain fall which hasn’t happened in weeks and wont for longer.

We are now back on the road…

Why

Why is it so hot out…?

I never thought I would enjoy a super-hot atmosphere, but with dead heat like this, it doesn’t feel too bad… plus my tan is coming in faster than ever before.

The weather consists of dry heat. So dry and hot that you kind of feel cold sometimes. It’s the kind of heat that makes you sweat, but the sweat is evaporated off your body before you realize it exists.

It’s not too bad… next week it will be 116-degrees in Utah. I don’t know how people live here without pools.

How

How you doinnnnn…

Being that bitch from New York comes with a lot of questions… How did you guys plan this? Why now? Where to next?

All I can say is we just out here doing our best… we made it this far, wish us best of luck and follow my blog for updates

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workinsymmetry · 5 years

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Nootka Travel Journal

My ride showed up and I loaded my things. Except for my headlamp and Nalgene. Inconsequential. A 1 litre smart water bottle like the pros. Breakfast at Green Gables. Edson, Hinton, Jasper, Mt. Robson, Valemount, all passed in a flash. Driving was fast and efficient. Clearwater for lunch, then past whatever small towns before Kamloops, Kamloops, Merritt, and finally Hope, where I write this in my wind battered tent.

Today felt...strange. Not working on a monday. The product of all that anxiety from the weeks leading here. On and off, confirmed and cancelled. I feel like I am cheating, skipping class. I hope everything at work is functioning without me. I know it is. Tristin is capable. I still feel mentally unprepared to be here, like my mind just wont shift into vacation mode. I feel like vacation mode doesn’t exist. What do I even think vacation mode is? Forgetting my normal life while by background stress dissolved and I laugh and have fun in the sun? Taking time to work out my frustrations in life? As I grow and chase a solution to this anxiety I have been fighting I wonder if there is a new angle I need to consider all together. Because this was isn’t working.

It's soothing to travel and experience all these new geographies and landscapes. Cresting a ridge to see the scrubby valleys near Merritt open up, or the dusty brown hills of Kamloops. Thinking of the unique issues and experiences of these different lives. I wonder what they feel when they're in my town. Its getting to dark to write. I will try to sleep, however the space between my head and Highway 1 is about 15 meters and the noise is insufferable. Earplugs should have been a consideration. I forget the name of the camp but at least on the other side is the Fraser River. My goal tomorrow is to find a way to sooth my mind and relax a bit. I can convince myself I deserve it.

Tuesday 23 Hope-Van-Nanaimo-Campbell-Gold River. Had a late evening and didn’t get to write. I recall loud traffic all evening but I eventually slept. Had a dream about kids harassing us in our tents. On the road early and breakfast in whatever suburb of Vancouver.Had to take some business calls: utility locators looking for keys. Seems to have worked out. Navigating Van was white knuckle. Ended up in Lonsdale Quay to meet Nick's friend. Tall blonde who works in HR for an insurance company.Toured the boardwalk. Floating houses, garbage barges, seals. Had a beer in the sun before heading out to the ferry. Was a nice ride but got slightly burnt.Regret not bringing 360 brimmed hat. Or any hat. Thankful for Buff, long har, and sunscreen.

Georges BBQ was excellent. Drive to Campbell River felt fast. Took wrong turn looking for Gold River resulting in a 1 h delay. Overnight hotel in Gold River. Stress inducing work related dreams. Thought there would be cell service in town, but there was none. I intended to set a voicemail recording to redirect calls, but that plan was cancelled. I guess now I am truly disconnected. Upset Amanda before I left and was only able to send a simple late night message to her with hotel wifi.

Wednesday 24 10:26 - Very poor continental breakfast.1/10. Drive to Air Nootka was quick. Scenery is just unique enough to be interesting. It's beautiful, but i have seen plenty of mountains lately. I miss open ranges and horizons. Luckily I am about to meet the biggest horizon there can be. We fly out shortly.

2:35 - Flight into Nootka was short and sweet. Trailhead had lush ferns and ancient giant cedars. After 1/2 hour of hiking we were at the ocean and grey white sands opened up through the trees. The view was magnificent. For a while I was at ease that this whole experience was worth the stress it took to get here.Missing is cold beer. The ocean wind is cooling and the sun and sand are warm. I will miss this scene.

Seeing the expansive ocean is a strange feeling. The endless shimmering and long horizon are beautiful, however there is a sad and empty feeling to it. It needs something to compliment it. A boat or storm clouds. I feel my face getting hot. Need to make sure to stay hydrated. Tent is up and I'll have a short rest.

7:12 - We walked the beach and played in the tide. The occasional cold drops of rain weren’t a concern then. But sure enough, the rain came. Slowly across the horizon like a grey wall of fog. Luckily I just finished dinner so I didn’t have to clean in the rain. I encountered several problems with my cooking setup: I need more water holding devices OR a better water purification system. Ramen is NOT a good backpacking food. It leaves an oily mess and the smell is impossible to remove. The rice I brought requires too much waiting time and also leaves a hard to remove odour. Recommend just plain rice in the future. Tomorrow and today are feeling like non stop rain. Amanda would love it. I admire her positivity in adverse situations, especially being wet while camping. I like her a lot. I think we still need to learn more about each other and our relationship, but I think it's working. I miss her. I wish I could just say Hi.

Thu 25 I had a terrible migraine in the night. at first it felt like a headache from being on uneven ground, but it didn’t go away when I rotated. Agony from 1 am to 7 am when I got out and was able to get tylenol. Was good al day, but was worried about what triggered it. Must hydrate more.

Rained all night. Not much, but enough to coat everything in fine sand. Packed up and hit the trail quite late. Luckily the weather was favorable. Everything has dried off now. Today I saw the ocean in the way I hope it would be burned into my memory. At least a kilometer of firm packed sand at mid tide. Low waves rumbled into the shore, small rolling crests crashing into themselves and then inching their way towards my feet as I walked.

7:57 - Sun is setting and again I am moved by the view. A small beach fire and high tide waves. I will take a photo. The ocean is vast and loud and dangerous but it's simple and I think that’s what I like the most. It's not to bust to sit back and take it in. No concentration is needed to enjoy the scene. See the clouds. See the horizon. See the waves. Birds and boats provide little extra flavours. With zero hills, the walk has been fairly breezy. I'm tired now, but not mountain tired.I get paid tomorrow. I have no way to prove or check, but I know I do and I like that. It's been an expensive trip. Worth it? We will see.

Fri 26/Sat 27 Thankfully the rain didn’t start overnight or early morning while we broke camp. The walk included large rock hopping and pebbles that would sink you to your ankles. It poured. This walk wasnt noteworthy. The cabin was a nice feature (Nick's cousins own a cabin and invited us to stay with them). We were greeted with a fire, coffee, burgers, and french toast. Dave, Brian, and Janet were the adults. There were about 8 new high school graduates there as well. They began playing drinking monopoly. Part of me was jealous that I was stuck visiting with the "adults" but it's becoming clear that I have no place in drinking monopoly anymore. My skills have departed from drinking games. I am starting to find myself noticing the dissimilarities between myself and the youth- that is, I feel like I am departing fro being young.

These girls are young and beautiful. One particularly, Kira, is absolutely magnificent. The boys are fresh faced, modern, handsome. I feel like I missed out on that stage. There is a youthful and free energy about them all that I dont think I can replicate anymore. Perhaps it is less about direct attraction and admiration to the physical appearance and more about the attraction and jealousy of being the type of young man who would have a chance at connecting with these girls.

Our cabin hosts have been so great. Food never tasted so good as it did in the middle of this hike. Dave takes to conversation like it's an extreme sport. Charming, personable, funny, and great at telling stories. Things I admire but never truly developed. I can just sit on a stony beach and write my thoughts. As a bonus, dave took me and Nick surfing. No waves, just paddling. But legitimate. It was unexpected, as I always imagined my first time being in Mexico or California. But the foggy grey Pacific Northwest was incedible, and a memory I hope I hang on to. There were wedding preparations going on at the beach. A guy and a girl who were presumably there early for the wedding in a coupe days were also suiting up to go surfing. The girl, who was very fit, stripped on the beach to get into her wetsuit. A+.

This morning, some of the boys and girls went upriver to swim. A quick glance revealed nudity, and again I was filled with envy for the youth and a growing up I never got to expereince. This cabin is definitely a departure from my summers when I was 18. At one point there was a ziplock bag of weed on the table. Definitely different.

11:34 - Today is sunny and warm again. Clothes and tents are just finishing drying and we should be on our way soon. One more night on the trail, but the experience has definitely climaxed. Nightmares of work still continue.

7:37 - I'm sitting on a rock watching the last tide roll in. The last sunset on the ocean that I will see for presumably a long while. And to be true, the actual sunset will be concealed by a cliff to the west of the campsite. We had a black bear encounter. He was digging through a pile of seaweed seeking out sandflies. He noticed me first and we stared for a bit. When the guys showed up, the bear just sat there, scratching himself, unconcerened with us. We found a way around him. Drinking water was scarce and had to be taken from a hidden little grove. It was tea coloured but seemed to be ok, if you dont think about it to much. I slipped on the logs twice trying to get to it. It was the first night with a clear sky, so I made an effort to stick my head out of the tent once it got dark. I wish I would have been more awake because the sky was undescribable. It has been so long since I could see the stars down to the horizon. I could immediatly see the glow of the galaxy spiral arms. Bright stars or planets that I might have been able to identify if i hadnt just woke up. There is something that Whitecourt just doesn't satisfy within my, and that could be it. Perhaps someday I will find a place to commit my life to. But until then, I will be without home. A complete unknown. Like a rolling stone.

July 28 8:55 - Outer tents were soaked with condensation. For the first time, I feel how dirty my hair is and I cannot wait to scrub it. Who knows when that opportunity will be. At least I have a cleanish set of clothes for the ride home. My finger and toenails are getting long and dirty. My facial hair is driving me insane. A wash and shave has never felt more appealing. Makes me wish I didn’t cancel my anytime fitness membership. Free showers across the country. It is a couple hour hike to Friendly Cove where hopefully we taxi back without much delay. Does the taxi run on sundays? These questions plague me. Im not sure another day out here would be welcome, just due to the unexpectedness. We will see.

July 31 Back at home and am recounting the last few days of the trip. We did catch the water taxi back to Air Nootka and the car, but only after experiencing the white guilt served up at the church turned museum at Friendly Cove. Starting around 7 pm we drove from Air Nootka, caught the ferry in Nanaimo from 10:45 pm to 12:50 am. Got a hotel in Hope. The following day, drove from Hope and stopped in Kelowna. Had a beer and watched butts for a while. Continued driving to Vernon where Nick met up with another friend who worked at Predator Ridge Resort. She was very cute. k_duuub on instagram for anyone wondering just how cute. Continued driving to one of those popular houseboating communities. Stopped and ate. Drove to Golden where I took over driving. Cruised through the mountain parks at night, which was a bizarre experience. Non stop driving til I got home. Now I sit here contemplating if I just burn up the rest of my vacation days this week at home. Thank you for reading.

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