#no sir thanks

[gaydryad]

vote now on your phones:

#from the writer's den #void talks #this is a very stupid and convoluted internal debate I'm having #keep in mind my FB is essentially Cis Me :tm: with a cute photo I took with a snapchat filter back in.....2017 #the last time I was in this kind of situation even remotely was like 4+ years ago so I truly CANNOT read the vibes #especially since the locals here are ... much more friendly than I'm used to #to add some further context #this was a Clean segue from talking about the sublease #like literally no break haven't talked about what we're like at all #except that he works at a local auto engineering firm and I'm a student #which also. I'm a grad student so I'm like. an adult. but #if I were an undergrad (which I could be for best he knows unless he eyed my profile) #that would be uhhh #no sir thanks #anyway.

[creepymutelilbugger]

"i have to water the shitbird wait a minute"

"prosper stupid poultry"

#196 #rule #shitpost #memes stolen from my discord #thank you Sir Bia 🇷🇸🫡 #de #muted

[beaft]

a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man

#he drank it with every appearance of enjoyment #im like thank you sir. can i get you anything else sir. your last will and testament maybe #be shh now

[cubbyyyy]

You know what makes me sit in silence everytime i think about it?

The fact that Andrew was attracted to every version of Neil.

He thought he was hot when he still had his brown eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/auburn hair and the number 4 tattooed under his eye. ”you are a pipe dream“ , he said, looking at Neils bruised and most honest self.

Then Baltimore. Neil got tortured. Got bruised all over his skin, scars that’ll never be forgotten and what does Andrew do? He asks yes or no and kisses his hip.

It sure af wasn’t love at first sight but the fact that his initial attraction never faded gives you a hint about what Neil is for Andrew.

(Not to mention how the versions of Neil changed the more Andrew learned about Neil as well. First he was Neil. Then he was Abram. Then he was Nathaniel. Until he finally became Neil Abram Josten.

All the lies. All the truths. It all came together and Andrew was there during all of it).

and if I start talking about Neil falling for Andrew the more he learned about him and the role he took over-

(Neil is there to protect the one who protects them all)

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #they are in love sir #don’t get me started on Neil fr #or how this is a metaphor about life #andrew will stay no matter what #seeing the ugly and still be in love #life is ugly #but they have each other #so it’s okay #in love with nora for writing them #nora sakavic #thank you #you were amazing #don’t make the Neil though

[minorheroics]

rtd writing those doctor who specials like

#thank you sir #that was fun #doctor who #the star beast #dw spoilers

[silkythewriter]

I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

#x reader #deez nuts #hazbin hotel #anon <3 #all genders #main character #x y/n #i hope you like it #hazbin hotel sir pentious #sir pentious #hazbin sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #silly little guy #ty for coming to my ted talk #thanks anon! #sorry this took so long #i loved writing this #i love him i swear #hes a cutie patootie #please come again! #woooohooooo #ty for the ask <3 #character x reader #x you #x gn reader

[see-arcane]

3/4 of the Dracula cast, including side characters: -takes 10 pages of yammering to get around to making a single point-

Quincey Morris, King of Brevity, reading the situation for 0.5 seconds: Uh huh, cool. So where’s the blood going? 

Jack Seward, in tears, both from the Lucy issue and gratitude at not sitting through another corn metaphor for half an hour: I don’t fucking KNOW-- 

#Quincey Morris is The American Character (c) #and so has the luxury of not having to inject 30 adverbs and adjectives into every sentence when a thought occurs to him #thank you for this sir #quincey morris #jack seward #dracula #dracula daily

[thepunkmuppet]

HAPPY GERARD DAY HELLSITE!!!!!!!

YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!

#UGH oh my fucking god I’m so in love with them I could CRY his smile :’) what a lad #he’s just cheesin #as he should tbh he literally awkward photo grins just like me #anyway I hope he has a wonderful day and that he’s happy!!<3333 #I’ve really genuinely had such a great time getting into mcr this past month it’s been so fun #thank you michael romance sir(s) I love being annoying and insufferable about things :) #gerard way #gee way #jared wee #gerald wave #jordan whale #gerry keay (real) (I swear) #mcr #my chemical romance #my chemical fucking romance #my chem

[crowleyholmes]

Self-indulgent Crowley-is-just-so-beautiful post

“You don’t have to test everything to destruction just to see if you made it right.”

#@philosophicaldefenestration thank you for reminding me of the questioning god one because i almost forgot!!!!! #but that's such an important one!!! #good omens #goodomensedit #goodomensgifs #crowley #david tennant #mine #my gifs #i've been practicing drawing his face today #which yk required a lot of looking at his face #which led to me going a little bit insane because he #he's just #so beautiful #and for what #mr tennant sir pls your face get it under control

[folie-a-deux]

Everytime Mads talk about Hannibal I feel my life span increasing.

#number 1 hannibal enthusiast fr #carrying the whole fandom on his back #thank u for ur service sir #mads mikkelsen #hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #hannibal series #hannigram

[capriciouslyterminal]

Calling it now, or manifesting (whatever you want to call it), I want the Jon Matteson frog knight to be mortally wounded in the climax of Cinderella’s Castle (perhaps to save Ella).

As he’s dying his little puppet death and I’m crying Ella tells him he’s a real knight and thanks him for his help, perhaps even declaring her love for him in a very platonic way (or a romantic way) and she gives him a little kiss.

Cue flashing lights and magic sound effects and who puts down the puppet and stands up but human man Jon Matteson who was The Frog Prince the whole time.

#starkid #cinderella’s castle #I just want Jon Matteson to get to do a post transformation reunion or to pick up his little squire and thank him #is this so much to ask #sir hop a lot #jon matteson #team starkid #that frog has human teeth okay I gotta think about that

[stagefoureddiediaz]

They let Ryan out of PR jail and he is using his new found freedom to ensure we all know exactly where he stands and and what he thinks about Buck and Eddie and their relationship

#let Ryan do more interviews #sir I thank you for your service #Ryan is the biggest buddie shipper of us all #he loves him to the core will be loving rent free in my head forever #911 abc #ryan guzman #buck and eddie #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

"Les villains, si vous voulez, les héros maléfiques, si vous voulez... J'ai toujours essayé à mettre quelque chose dedans de la tristesse. Inattendue, toujours. Il faut- il faut absolument que le public soit un peu, heu... bouleversé. "Ah! Je n'attendais pas ça avec ce monsieur."

— Sir Christopher Lee, 2001 Bolero interview on Monte Carlo TMC, with Denise Fabre.

(gifs by @david-talks-sw)

#thanks dude! #sw talk #sir christopher lee #count dooku #dooku #attack of the clones #star wars

[brewed-pangolin]

Thank you, sir. Yes, ma'am

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x Fem Reader

18+MDNI Sexual Themes

Soap MacTavish is, above everything else, a gentleman.

He holds the door open for you, makes you dinner when you've had a hard day.

Let's you handle the finances and own the home you share because he's comfortable in his own masculinity to let the woman run the household (man exudes feminist appreciation, c'mon).

And he respects you. More than any human being ever has. And you can't help but show your admiration for his gratitude every once in a while.

But please, for the love of God, do NOT refer to him as 'Sir' when he's on leave. Especially when you're out in public.

He doesn't find it offensive or as a constant reminder of the world of responsibility he has to return to.

In fact, it's quite the opposite.

That single term of authority, uttered so sweetly from that pretty little mouth of yours, causes his brain to misfire and can't help the unbridled urge to fuck you right then and there.

If you're enjoying a night out, and you call him 'Sir' after giving him thanks for opening the door for you, expect to be pulled into the nearest alleyway, dress hiked up above your hips and one leg draped over his shoulder as he devours your cunt like a feverishly starved madman.

Or, say he paid for dinner because you paid for the previous. And to show your gratitude, you gently lean over the table, batting your eyes and give him a gentle kiss. Only to whisper, oh so lovingly, 'thank you, sir' against his lips.

If you do so happen to make it back to his 4Runner, you'll be shoved in unceremoniously into the backseat with greedy hands, tearing your clothes away while his lips show their appreciation by hungrily encapsulating over your mouth. Only to be contorted into an incomprehensible pretzel as he shows you just how much he loves you by mindlessly fucking you into oblivion.

And that's just the setup for the main event to when you do finally get back home. Behind closed doors and in the comfort of his own walls is where Soap truly shines with his kinky fuckery. Bending you over any flat surface within arms reach, pressing you up against every wall to get a few quick pumps of his cock deep into your needy little pussy until it all culminates with you both fucking like animals on your bed.

By the end, you will both be completely overstimulated and spent. Splayed out over top the mattress, limbs entangled and drenched in sweat as you both come down from your umpteenth orgasm.

"Thank you, Sir." You praise in a drained and muffled whisper, eyes glazed with an overly confident expression curling into your eyes as you gaze upon his sweat glistened and heaving chest.

And Soap's response is exactly what you'd expect from a gentleman such as himself. Breathless, and breathtaking.

"Yes, ma'am."

Drabbles Masterlist

@deadbranch @sofasoap @d3athtr4psworld @punishmepunisher @jynxmirage @homicidal-slvt @glitterypirateduck @obligatoryghoststare @mykneeshurt @astraluminaaa @shotmrmiller @writeforfandoms @simpingoverquestionablemen @haurasha @ang3lc @thetrashpossum @kkaaaagt @luismickydees @designateddeadend

#super soap sunday #soap squad #soap squad 🧼 #thank you sir yes ma'am #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap x you #soap x reader #soap smut #cod smut #call of duty #cod #incomprehensible pretzel again

[temeyes]

I've been thinking about the art of Price’s boobies since I saw it, I'm showing it to my friends when I meet them for dinner today, everyone must see his amazing boobies

thank u for doing me a favor of showing his tatas to your besties. BUT have they even seen his bum-

oh shit, close the door- CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!

#sorry sir..... (not really) #im more of a thigh person. but butts are just MMMMMMMMM #thank u for the cake captain price... #answered asks #anon #my art #2024 #call of duty #price cod #john price #captain john price #bravo six

[silvermun]

The King’s orders are absolute ⚔️

my full illustration for the @shadow-zine!

#sonic and the black knight #satbk #satbk sir lancelot #satbk sir gawain #satbk sir percival #satbk king arthur #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #blaze the cat #my art #super super excited to finally share this piece!!! it’s one i’m really proud of ^^ #thank you very much to lynn and the team for inviting me to the project this was an amazing experience! #and if you’ve got the zine pls check out mimca’s story that accompanies this piece :D #and big shoutout to rook for helping inspire this!!!