#not gonna lie I think I kind of ship it now

[fangirlforlife97]

ACOTAR's Rant That's Been Long Overdue!!!! BEWARE AND MY BAD, ITS A LONG ONE.

I won't lie it's been a long while since I've read the books and I still haven't read ACOSF yet (or if I even will?!) But over the years I've changed my opinion on alot of things concerning the books and fan pairings, etc. And lately I've had the urge to re look over ACOTAR content on tumblr and I finally decided to make this post. One I've been meaning to for awhile!

I want to start out by saying that I absolutely loved "A Court of Thorns and Roses" and Feylin, I finished that book in one night. I couldn't wait to read more of their story and learn more of this world SJM had created. Went into the series before it exploded on Tik - Tok or wherever so I went in without spoilers. Like I said I was looking forward to reading more but I also simultaneously had a sneaking suspicion that SJM was gonna try to give Feyre a new love interest and it did not sit well with me at all!! I kept saying or thinking things like "she better not give Feyre a new love interest" "she better not mess up Feylin", and that's exactly what she did!!

She "villainzed" or tried to anyways, Tamlin. I'm not gonna lie I got really irritated, and even though it wasn't Tam's fault how things played out I was kind of upset with him. I never hated him though and even though I hated the idea of a new love interest - with time I grew to greatly enjoy them. I read all of the books and considered them to be some of my favorite books, I even shipped Elriel hardcore while also shipping Elucien and also lowkey Nessian (before ACOSF). With time I fell into the delusion of Elriel, Nessian, Feysand and The Inner Circle, of the series in general. By the end of ACOWAR though even though I liked Feysand - I was getting kind of tired of reading about them and was looking forward to and wanting a different pairing to take center stage.

Subconsciously at times I think I did realize how toxic and awful Feysand and parts of the Inner Circle was etc, but it didn't register til later on. It's like I glossed over it cause I was sooo "entralled" with the series and character's. I was delulu about alot of things, about my liking for Feysand, my hardcore fangirling over Elriel, etc.

I was the biggest shipper of Elriel, I wanted them together so bad and the idea of them not getting together - I thought it would depress me out. Insane ik. Like before I became a hardcore Elriel shipper I shipped Elucien and was liking and hoping for their endgame until we started getting more Elriel content. Then my love for Elriel overshadowed that of Elucien. I was obsessing about anything relating to Elriel and couldn't wait for any possible clues or interactions in ACOSF pertaining to an Elriel endgame. There was even gonna be a pov from Azriel (he was my favorite batboy) and I was really excited. Then ACOSF came out and so did the spoilers. I hadn't gotten my hands on a book yet but the curiosity was too strong, so I went on tumblr to see what had been posted, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To say I was shocked was an understatement. It was the fastest death of a love pertaining to a fan pairing and character. I'm a fangirl, fangirling is what I do. I get overenthusiastic about tv shows and movies and bonds between characters. I was so disgusted by Azriel's pov, it was very unexpected. Like yes I imagine there would be some lustful thoughts or whatever but this is the first time we are getting his pov and you give us that! I had a certain idea of how I thought of Elain and Azriel and I loved it and the symbolism etc but what I read or found out totally ruined the idea I had of them. How I thought of them. Even the idea of liking them. Now I sincerely hope they don't end up together and she hopefully gets with Lucien and gets out of the Night court and away from the Inner Circle and Feysand. I've grown to ship and love Elucien the way I did Elriel before Az's pov.

I even really like and love the idea of Tamlin and Elain or Elain x Lucien x Elain. I feel like even though ACOTAR was supposedly a Beauty and The Beast retelling, Elain seems more like Belle to me, in look wise and gentleness anyways. And she would be so good with Tamlin and his healing even though I'm also a hardcore Elucien girly. I'd be so happy with either Elucien, Tamlain or Elucien x Tamlain x Tamlucien (whatever their ship name is!?)

In terms of Nessian. I always liked Nessian, I wasn't super hardcore about them like I was Elriel, Elucien, Feylin but I still really liked them or saw their potential too. But then I started hearing about things pertaining to Nessian and Nesta's character in ACOSF and I even heard things such as them ruining Nesta's character and bowing to Rhys, etc. Like maybe they ruined her character for the sake of Feysand or something?! And even though I already dislike what I'm hearing about Nessian, I still plan to read ACOSF even though it's gonna be a struggle re reading the series with how much I've grown to dislike Feysand, Rhysand, The Inner Circle, Elriel, etc. I almost don't want to re read the series with how annoyed I've grown about them, may take me some time but I will at some point in time. I'm in no rush though but I would be looking forward to re read ACOTAR.

Cassian is a shitty mate from what I've been hearing and that makes me start to dislike him too. Even though I have yet to completely make up my mind about Nessian til after I read ACOSF, Cassian is on thin ice. Not gonna lie though I kind of wish and hope Nessian aren't endgame because of what I've heard, even though I have yet to read ACOSF. I feel like Nesta deserves better and it might be an unpopular opinion but I think Nesta and Tamlin would be an absolutely freaking perfect endgame or pairing!!!!!!!??

Nesta and Tamlin both were given the same completely unfair, ridiculous, disgusting hate or treatment by the author and fandom. They both need healing, and could be the people who heal each other?! Even though Elain gives Belle vibes from her looks and gentleness, she doesn't have the most important Belle factor that Nesta does. NESTA LOVES BOOKS!! Could Nesta be the actual Belle to Tamlin's or ACOTAR Beauty and the Beast Retelling??!!!! Idk but I think Nesta and Tam would be way better than Cassian and Nesta.

I feel like the author has made her batboys too hornified and has sexualized her romantic pairings to the point she's ruining them!! Smut is fine in a book but when it's overdone and it's all a relationship is, it's not a pairing worth rooting for and it's kind of disgusting. I'd rather have a slow burn, cliche, romantic couple or pairing with few smutty scenes than a pairing that's too over sexualized and has multiple, constant, sex scenes. Other possible unpopular opinions:

- Tamlin is 100% more likable and better than Rhysand. Tamlin isn't without his flaws but the double standardization between Tamlin and Rhysand is incredibly unfair and unwarranted. Tamlin gets way too much hate for a character in a series filled with many other/worse flawed characters.

- Tamlin doesn't need a redemption arc, he needs a healing arc. He deserves a happy ending and love too!! I hope his court is replenished and flourishes.

- SJM character assassinated Feyre and others for the sake of Feysand, Rhysand and The Inner Circle.

- The ACOTAR series is filled with inconsistencies, double standards, etc.

- ACOTAR was the best book!!

- The Inner Circle, Batboys, Rhysand, and Feysand is highly overrated.

- Feyre deserves better.

- SJM should backpeddle on the smut and focus on building up of relationships and focusing on the romance. Stop using smut as an excuse for plot!

- Elain, Lucien, and Nesta need to get out of the Night Court and away from the Inner Circle and Feysand. (Feyre should too but that definitely won't happen!) They need their own story plots with story progression that doesn't involve the Night Court, Feysand, and The Inner Circle.

- Nesta and Tamlin should be endgame or an option at the very least. THE POTENTIAL!!!!! 😭❤️✊

- Rhysand is the villain of the series. It would be the greatest twist but also wouldn't be a twist because there's heavy evidence of him being a villian and manipulating those around him.

- Theory that Rhysand has been mind controlling Feyre the whole time!!

- There should be more focus on the other lands and courts.

- An Elucien novel should have nothing to do with the Night Court or Inner Circle or Feysand. I'm so tried of other ships and character's revolving heavily around Feysand, the Inner Circle, and the Night Court. Not everything is about them!!

#acotar #anti sjm #anti elriel #anti feysand #anti inner circle #anti nessian?! #pro tamlin #tamlin #nesta archeron #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #feyre archeron #sorry if this rant is a mess haha #elucien #tamlain #nesta x tamlin #tamlin x nesta #elucien x tamlain x tamcien

[moonacrefarm]

anticipating love

summary: your parents marriage didn’t survive the test of time and neither did you first love. 

contains: childhood friends to lovers to strangers, second-chance romance, angst, hurt/comfort, slight miscommunication, fluff, 18+ series, mentions of stalking, mentions of cancer, no mention of y/n

authors note: woooohoooo! i didn't expect this chap to take so long. i ended up with a few health issues (all cleared now) which put a dent in my writing schedule as i rested up and got better. a little slow of a chap today but im excited as the foundation has been set for the next few chaps ◡̈

series masterlist

previous part | next part. 04. turning and returning

03. fated ones

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“No. Mom. You didn’t.”

“I did and you're going to set the table.”

“Why would you invite Bradley over?”

“Why?”

“Yes. Why?”

Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. You could tell her temper was on the rise, you’d been arguing about inviting Bradley over for all morning and she’d seemed to have had enough.

“I’m dying sweetheart. I’m not dying with regrets.” She hissed out the last part. “He’s coming over and you aren’t gonna say another word about it.”

“But—”

Her finger shot up, “If I hear one more word. One. I’m shipping you to base with your father. This has nothing to do with whatever you guys fell out over. I invited him over because I wanted to have dinner with the boy I so much as raised when Carole died. I do not care if you think I should be angry with him, I’m dying and I’m…” She pointed at herself, “Making amends. If you don’t want to be here, take a drive, sleep on base, and pull your teeth out. I’ve had you yammering in my ear all morning about canceling dinner. This is the one thing I’m asking you to do for me, and you’re throwing a fit. Zip it or ship it.”

Your lips pressed in a line thin. You **had been making this about you. The past few days have been difficult for you to process. The revelation that Bradley hadn’t just up and left you for no reason was heavy in your limbs. It didn’t align with what River had told you and with what you knew.

But, something was off.

It’s not that you didn’t believe what Bradley had told you. There were many ways to explain it all away but something kept gnawing you. River always talked about “divine timing.” What if it's all meant to be, “divine timing” will take care of it. Your guy's relationship had been built out of convenience. You both were young, in school together and looked good together. You both kind of… settled. He fit so well into your life that it had to be divine timing. How else could you explain it?

When your mother was diagnosed, River was good. He was so good to you and her, taking time off, driving her to appointments, and sure your mom was never his biggest fan but she respected him enough and his ability to make you comfortable. You can still pinpoint when he changed and became colder and distant. Every time he talked to you it was flitted with something aggressive.

Initially, you thought it had been neglect. You weren’t spending enough time with him, or maybe it was an effort. Either way, when the switch flipped it felt like whiplash. The night you called it off it was a blow-up fight. He threw vases, photos, plates, and whatever he could find. He kept murmuring about you not being in love with him and choosing your mother over him. Nothing could placate him and soon enough you tore the ring off your finger and hurled it at him, grabbed your keys, and ran to your car.

He tried to follow you but you lost him on the freeway and called your mother. It felt like all those years were a lie, he’d never lost his temper in that manner. Had never gotten aggressive or screamed at you. The whole argument unsettled you. It confirmed the gnawing feeling that ate away at you for years. Every once in a while his smile would become rigid, his grip on your wrist slightly tighter. Always small and light movements to command you to his well.

Once the phone call ended, you immediately went to pick her up, opting to stay at a hotel for a couple of days. He kept calling, texting, calling, and spamming through unknown numbers and accounts. All it did was confirm that… feeling that always sat at the back of your mind. The breakup wasn’t amicable in the slightest. You had police escort you to your shared apartment to pack your belongings and he, luckily, wasn’t there. Within hours, your life was packed up and you moved back in with your mother. However, you never shook the feeling that he was orbiting around you. Even if you never saw him, it followed you everywhere you went.

Silently, you grabbed plates and started to set the table.

“Thank you.” Your mother sighed. You mulled over anything and everything, still stuck on the photos. You and River didn’t even take engagement photos, just a small get-together with your mother and his family.

“Mom?” You called out gently, setting another placemat down.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Did you ever think something was wrong with River?”

She stood still for a few seconds.

“Like that something was off with him?”

“To be honest hon, I thought he was boring…”

The confession startled you, causing a giggle to bubble out of you.

“I did! Towards the end, I thought something was wrong with him. There were a few moments when he would seem…off. I never thought he was so off that he would've lost it like that when you two ended it.”

You nodded

“He was boring.”

When the knock on the door arrived, your mother shot off her chair. Your father stayed stiff and you followed suit.

“Oh, you've grown so tall.” She held his face between her hands for a moment, “Handsome, just like your father.” Bradley smiled wide, embracing her again, “It’s good to see you too.”

Bradley took in her scent as he hugged her, feeling how much more frail she had been than the last time he saw her. The guilt gripped his heart.

“Now come on, I made some of Carole's lasagna and set the table.”

Toeing off his shoes he made his way into the home, still familiar with the path to the dining table.

“Sir.” His back straightened, Beau sighed, “At ease Bradshaw, you're in my home not on base, formalities don’t exist here”

“Damn straight they don’t.” Your mother's cheerful voice cut in, earning a small smile from your father.

“Bradley.” You nodded.

He gave a small smile, one so tense you thought he might pull a cheek.

“Dear, could you go get the drinks? I left them in the kitchen.” Pulling yourself up, you heard your mother’s bombardment of questions. She didn’t hold back asking Bradley about the last decade of his life, they did have a lot to catch up after all.

By the time you made it back to the table, your mother was asking the hard-hitting questions,

“So, are you dating anyone? Engaged perhaps?” Bradley choked slightly on his drink.

“Uh.. no ma’am. No engagement and no girlfriend.”

Your mom frowned, “I was hoping for some grandbabies and now I'm hearing I probably won’t have any at all!” Her arms went up in the air. Your dad and you eyed each other, knowing she was putting on a show. Snuffing your snickers you silently chewed. Unfortunately for Bradley, your mom wasn’t quite done.

“Honey, you’re gonna be a spinster by the time your good years are up! You're young and healthy! This is the time to make a couple babies.”

Bradley burned red and none of you could hold back your laughter.

“Okay Mom, give Bradley a breather, anymore baby talk and I think he’ll start babbling like one…It did take him a while to grow out of baby talk.” You snickered and he softly glared at you, “Bringing up my dark past I see.”

Your mother and father gave each other a soft smile.

Dinner wore on and your mother's efforts had paid off, everyone had relaxed and spread out to the living room for some photo album viewing.

She was entrenched in showing the photos of you and Bradley on a family trip to the Sequoias. Climbing trees and chasing each other with fake snakes.

“Carole thought you two were the cutest thing, wherever you went, Bradley was sure to follow. He was terrified of the fake snakes and you grabbed four in the gift shop and started chasing him.”

“Okay, you’re making it sound like I was a little menace.”

“I’d have to agree that you were. I never quite got over my fear of snakes…” Bradley smirked, earning him a small shove from you.

Your mother yawned, flipping through a couple more photos before another yawn followed.

“I think it’s time someone got to bed.” Beau had wrapped around the couch and put a blanket on your mother's shoulders.

“It is a little late, I should be heading back to base.”

“That you should, we have early morning training tomorrow.”

“Honey, can you walk Bradley out to his car? I suddenly feel exhausted.” You nodded, standing and motioning for Bradley to follow.

He got his shoes on and embraced your mother once more before leaving, “Now you come back and visit me, you hear me? I want to see your face as much as possible little Goose.” All he could do was nod, “I will. So much that you’ll be sick of me.” He smiled at her once more, watching as your father walked her up the stairs.

The breeze was welcomed as you stepped out. It had been getting warm inside, your cheeks slightly flush from all the laughing.

“Quite a trip down memory lane huh?” He asked, giving you a small side glance.

“I completely forgot how scared of fake snakes you were.”

“I wonder why…” You shoved him again.

You both approached his car, standing awkwardly for a few moments.

“I didn’t realize how…” He cleared his throat. “How sick she was?”

He nodded grimly.

“Yeah.”

You swallowed hard.

“She’s been fighting really hard.”

You both went quiet again.

You started at the paint on the Bronco, a small dent at the base of the driver's side, from where you and Bradley had been playing a game of baseball gone wrong. A little smile grew on your face.

“You should come by more often.” You looked at him, “I know we don’t… don’t get along like we used to. But we aren’t sure how chemo is gonna treat her this time…She really missed you.”

Bradley’s eyes stung. He’d seen his mother go through this, and seeing your mother today had brought painful memories to the surface again. He let out a shaky breath, “I will. I’ll come by as often as I can. With training, I’m not sure…I can work something out.” You nodded once more, “Drive safe Bradley.”

“Goodnight Bugs.”

You watched him drive off. Standing outside for a minute, letting the air cool you before your father came to the door, “You coming in?”

“Yeah. I just needed some air.”

#bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradsaw x reader #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine

[forasecondtherewedwon]

1, 13, and 36!!

Oooh! Thanks for these, Kaye!! I'm not gonna lie to you, it goes a little beyond hand-holding 😂

1) SHIP: Penelope x Colin

13) LOCATION: the Modiste

36) SCANDAL: seen holding hands! BARE hands!

more Bridgerton-themed fic prompts

Wallflower After Hours

Pairing: Penelope x Colin Rating: M Word Count: 2270

Summary: Coincidence finds Penelope and Colin alone at the Modiste one evening, but it's with intention that they address feelings which may have intensified since their kiss.

“Hello, Pen,” Colin said, inclining his head in greeting as Penelope unlocked and opened the door of the shop for him. He stepped inside and smiled at her with evident confusion. “I did not think to see you here.”

She laughed nervously.

“No,” she agreed.

They stood together in the otherwise vacant front of the shop, Colin staring at her as though he would say something, but Penelope glanced towards the door he had just closed. She was wondering whether she ought to relock it. Before she could decide, Colin followed her gaze, emitted an understanding, “Ah,” and reached up to lock the door himself.

She grew even more nervous than before. Not to be alone with Colin (although the circumstances were affective—profoundly), but because Madame Delacroix had only just disappeared into the back of her shop. Everything with this latest edition of Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers had seemed to go wrong. Penelope had been forced to feign illness and slip away from her home in order to deliver her pages by hand, and now Genevieve had dashed out to call back the man hired to deliver them on to the printer, who had apparently left after turning up to the Modiste at the agreed-upon hour to find she had nothing for him.

But Penelope could certainly not tell Colin that.

“What brings you to the Modiste?” she inquired brightly. It was wiser to ask a question of him rather than wait for him to press her on her own reasons for being there, and alone at that.

“An unusual errand, is it not?” he said agreeably. “My mother was to send someone to collect a parcel, but I fancied the walk. I did not think it should cause too much speculation, seeing as everyone is at home for the supper hour.”

“Everyone but the two of us.”

“Quite.” He gave her the sort of look she adored on him, one that wordlessly declared them co-conspirators.

“It is kind of you to fetch Lady Bridgerton’s parcel. You are a good son.”

“And you are a good daughter.” He glanced about them. “I assume you were dispatched on a similar errand?”

Penelope readily grasped at this explanation.

“Yes, quite.”

Suddenly, Colin’s eyebrows drew together.

“It is odd that the door was locked. I believed I would find the Modiste yet open at this hour.”

“Oh, it is! It is only, with most people at their supper, as you have said, and with me alone in the shop—” Penelope winced and cut herself off. “Not alone in the shop. Madame Delacroix has only gone to—to retrieve something.” She was flustered.

“She… thought it best to lock the door. For safety,” Colin interpreted. He nodded. “Most sensible.”

“She did not expect anyone else tonight. That is what she told me.”

Penelope fumbled these words from her mouth, but Colin seemed to accept them unquestioningly. And why should he not? Was she not good, dutiful Penelope, ever obedient to her mama? She was assuredly not a young lady who would be assumed to be out alone for some scandalous reason, such as delivering the most-read gossip sheet in the ton! Not the little Featherington wallflower!

“It is good, perhaps, that I have seen you. That I am seeing you now.”

Did Colin seem slightly flustered as well? Now that the lie had been told, the excuse that explained Penelope’s visit to the Modiste, she regarded Colin with renewed awareness. They had not been alone together—completely alone—since she had pleaded with him to kiss her, and he had surrendered to her plea. She had sworn to ask nothing of him, but it was not her eyes, she felt, which were full of questions when Colin caught and held her gaze. Her heart began to pound.

“Is it?” she asked. The words came out sounding ragged, departing a mouth that had gone dry. Penelope licked her lips and blushed to see Colin’s gaze drop to follow the path of her tongue.

She was surely imagining things; it was what her mama would have told her if she had gone home and divulged where she had been and how she believed the Bridgerton boy-turned-man had stared. But she would never attempt to describe it. She could only hope to remember it when, like the kiss they had shared, it inevitably passed. A moment. The flame of a candle.

“You have been… on my mind,” Colin said carefully. He had his hands behind his back so that the step he took towards her felt leisurely and incidental. Except that Penelope’s heart raced.

“I-I have?”

“In truth…” She watched him exhale and release his hands’ restraining clasp. They hung by his sides. She longed to know where he would place them next. Colin stared into her eyes. “In truth, you occupy my thoughts until I am driven almost to distraction.”

“Colin!”

“It is the truth, Pen. Though I know I should not say it, I must swear that it is true.” Colin gestured emphatically.

He was now so near as to be looking down on her. The summer evenings were still long, but Penelope noticed that the room had dimmed since her arrival. Genevieve, for the sake of the surreptitiousness of their business, had not lit any candles. There were the windows—large, for enticing customers with the beautiful dresses on display—and yet the front of the shop began to feel quite close, quite removed, quite… private.

“You are the reason for my restlessness this very evening,” he confessed in a hushed voice, gaze roving her features. Again, he dwelt on her lips.

“Do you think,” Penelope whispered, “that you should not have kissed me?”

“Pen.” Colin lifted his hand and, with just the tips of his fingers, skimmed her cheek. “I think I should have kissed you much more.”

She gasped until his lips descending upon hers stopped her breath. She whimpered into his mouth. His fingers stole across her cheek and dove into her hair, amorously pressing her face to his. Penelope stretched up to meet Colin in the kiss, to meet him firmly, to let him know that she knew what it was to be alone in one’s feelings, and that Colin most definitely was not. The only reason their previous kiss had not undone her as it seemed to have thoroughly undone him was that she had not allowed it to; her one-sided attachment to him had been forever laced with fear. Following the moment in which it had been given to her, Penelope had locked the kiss away, hidden more securely than coins beneath the floorboards. That way, she had believed, she would be able to go on. She could marry someone else, or, likelier, resign herself to spinsterhood as her mama wished.

This season, Penelope had finally forced herself to acknowledge that it would be best for her to rid herself of the silly dream of Colin Bridgerton. As a child: the dream of Colin Bridgerton selecting her as his teammate in every game the two of them and Eloise played in the garden. As a young lady still two seasons from her debut: Colin Bridgerton escorting her gallantly on his arm to her first-ever ball. As a woman who begged for a kiss while longing for far more: Colin Bridgerton in her bed. The privilege of the sight of his skin under the glow of not a Mediterranean sun but the candles in their marital bedchamber. She had decided to banish all of it from her mind. But Colin had now kissed her twice, and this time, she had not requested it.

Nothing in their current actions felt like mercy or pity or even the sweet devotion of a long friendship. Penelope came to the feeling like a traveler to foreign land, but she knew it to be passion. Colin’s tongue had parted her lips to stroke inside her mouth, and she tugged the collar of his shirt to urge him on. He backed her against the wall of fabrics and Penelope moaned as his body crowded close. The hand that was not in her hair landed on her waist. Hers moved freely: a squeeze to the back of Colin’s neck, a helpful brushing of his rapidly disheveled hair out of his face, a caress of his chest, where she could feel his heart pounding as fiercely as her own behind the layers of his shirt and waistcoat.

When she unbuttoned his jacket, Colin answered the action with a soft groan that set her all aflame. Penelope fairly grabbed at him. He matched her every touch with equal frenzy. The hand upon her waist ran down over the curve of her backside. She slid her fingers beneath his collar, stroking the thin skin of his throat, and felt him shiver. His hips nudged against her, and she felt more than that.

It was not until Colin’s warm hand, which had trailed from her hair down the back of her neck, left that spot and was replaced by the sensation of cool satin that Penelope remembered herself. Remembered the windows that looked out onto the street. Remembered Genevieve, who could return at any moment. Penelope abruptly broke the kiss and slipped out from between Colin and the thick rolls of satin.

“We… we cannot,” she panted, blinking quickly.

“Oh,” Colin said numbly. Then, “Oh, oh, I do apologize. Pen, let me fix—”

“No, Colin, hold still. I must button—”

They worked to restore order to one another’s appearance. Colin bowed his head that Penelope might smooth his hair and she felt it was a shame, such a shame, to right something which was so extremely tempting when mussed. He then insisted on running his hands over her dress from waist to hips, claiming he ensured she did not appear rumpled; she suspected he was merely attempting to memorize the shape of her that he might later do with it… well, whatever might assist him in combatting the restlessness that had driven him from his home this night.

Finally, she prevailed upon him to stand up straight so she might refasten his jacket. Their fingers met as they both reached for the buttons. With a soft touch, his stilled hers, and Penelope raised her head to gaze wonderingly into the face of the man her heart had long ago decided was beyond compare. She watched as he swallowed as though readying himself to speak.

“Oh! Monsieur Bridgerton!”

They both turned and had the good sense to spring away from each other as Madame Delacroix stepped through from the rear of the shop. Their hands disconnected their hold as they moved, but Penelope knew Genevieve had seen the linked fingers. Her eyes found Penelope’s and communicated much, including a promise that she would reveal nothing. Though Penelope sighed in relief, she feared the pace of her heart might never return to normal. She had Colin to thank for that.

“Madame Delacroix,” he said, recovering from the surprise. “My mother—”

“The Dowager Viscountess has sent him to retrieve an order. Much as mine did.” With her eyes, Penelope requested that Genevieve play along.

“Ah, naturellement! I have Lady Bridgerton’s parcel ready for you, Monsieur. Your mother, she is well?”

Penelope exhaled as they conducted their business. When it was complete, Colin turned to her expectantly.

“Well?”

“Well,” she replied.

Colin chuckled.

“The item you were meant to collect. You know I would not leave without you.”

“Yes, of course. Madame Delacroix?” Penelope glanced anxiously towards the Modiste.

“It was necessary to make an unforeseen alteration to the… stitching,” Genevieve improvised, “but please inform Lady Featherington that her item will be ready in time for her occasion.”

“Ready in time,” Penelope sighed, knowing their true subject to be the edition of Whistledown she had hurried here to deliver. She smiled at Genevieve in gratitude. “Thank you, Madame Delacroix. I shall pass on the message.”

With a nod from the proprietress, she and Colin turned to leave the shop. He reached for the door handle. Rather than opening, the door rattled in its frame. Penelope saw the flush blossom on Colin’s cheeks as they were reminded that the door was locked, that he had locked it, and of what they had done with their increased, though fleeting, privacy.

Madame Delacroix swept in and turned the lock, releasing them. They mumbled their embarrassed thanks and stepped out.

Colin hailed a hack for Penelope, and she did not tell him it was the same that had conveyed her to the shop to conduct her business. He handed her up. With the door still open, they exchanged a meaningful look.

“Would you like to…?”

With evident effort, Colin shook his head. “I think I should prefer to walk.”

“Very well.”

She could tell he had heard the hint of disappointment in her tone, because he hastened to reassure her.

“It is not that I would not like to. I would.” His eyes burned into hers and her heart, falsely cued, resumed its earlier gallop. “However, I believe it would be prudent for me to… ah… regain control of my thoughts before I reach home.”

Penelope smiled and said, “I quite understand.”

He leaned closer as though to impart a secret: “My heart I have no hope for. It is entirely ruled by you.”

As he shut the door, that organ swelled within Penelope’s chest, and she smiled her overwhelmed delight. She and Colin maintained an expressive stare through the window as the hack pulled away, until she could see him no more.

#was I a fool to think I could write a 1k Bridgerton fic? perhaps. anyway this one's over 2k LOL #my writing #Bridgerton #Penelope Featherington #Colin Bridgerton #Polin #Penelope x Colin #Polin fic #Bridgerton fic

[quibbs126]

I feel like in a scenario where Dark Choco and Earl Grey are close (whether platonic or romantic, whatever you feel like), Earl Grey would get Dark Choco some glasses, or at the very least suggest he should get them and probably help him find a good pair

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #dark choco cookie #earl grey cookie #ever since I made that post about possible Dark Choco/Earl Grey I’ve been thinking about it #this was just one thing that popped into my head that I thought would be neat #since Dark Choco canonically has bad eyesight and we know Earl Grey to have rather poor eyesight w/o glasses as well #I feel like EG would try to help out someone else in that situation #not gonna lie I think I kind of ship it now #I still need to think more on the dynamic #what would their ship name be? If they don’t already have one #I suppose there’s darkgrey but I’m not sure about that #chocogrey? earlchoco (no I don’t like that one) #I dunno #random stuff

[worldsover]

Transcendence/Pareidolia ft. Heejin

length ✦ 10k

genres ✧ it's a lot of oral, but hey, there's plot too; friends-to-lovers!Heejin

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Your fist clenches in a tight ball.

"If I die because of you, you better feed my fish."

"Die? You're being ridiculous," Heejin says.

You have a lot you could retort in that moment. Such as, "Me, the ridiculous one?" Or, "I'm being serious, I'm gonna actually die." Or, "You're actively contributing to the degradation of the meaning of language if you're claiming my suffering as ridiculous and assuming I'm participating in the honorable but currently inapplicable trope of hyperbole." All these things you can say, and you're without audible retort. This is the fourth time today Heejin's lips encircle your shaft; you were past dry by the third, because she would not let go of your cock for five minutes after your climax (because you didn't stop her).

Heejin's eyes beg, her lashes flutter, her tongue tempts, slithering, slick, and you think maybe you can spare her one more load.

Her mouth slips smoothly from the base of your cock to the head and then, pop. One big bubble of spit. She adds more, saliva foaming up on her tongue that's sticking out and toying with your tip.

"Don't die? Pwease?"

How ridiculous—or you could transcend to immortality at her behest.

All the while, she's sucking your dick in this bathroom like it's mere leisure for her. Like cigarettes to a smoker, she's blowing you like smoke, dirtying her throat, burning you up. Far past dignity now, the only thing she has between her knees and the floor is a bunch of toilet paper. The picture of addiction she paints is unfortunate and raw honesty and vivid contrast between such an elegant woman and such an inelegant solution to hunger. Despite how cavalier and practiced she is about introducing your tip to her uvula, Heejin will never give you a tidy blowjob. She salivates, every time, her tongue a wicked beast of its own, a serpent that can't lie above its love. And on the other hand, you can grumble and grouse all you want—if Heejin says your cock is going in her mouth, then…

You should've seen this coming like how you don't see yourself cumming because your eyelids are wired shut by the pretty agony of this orgasm. When you open them, her (fake, important to make the distinction) glasses are covered in streaks, her hands still twisting, tongue still licking your underside. Determination in her eyes says that every drop will be wrung out. It's possible this isn't leisure, but rather, business, and cum margins are getting lower as damnable inflation rises. She'll squeeze you dry for every last dollar of semen, no apologies to the sperm banks.

When Heejin is done, she sips on your cockhead, then a final kiss. You slump over the toilet and she pats your shoulder, laughing; it's a mean-spirited chuckle, but your dying wish is to hear that laugh one last time, so good on her for the penny of kindness she could spare like an insurance company donating to a hospital.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

"How could anyone love sucking dick that much?" Jinsol asks.

You look at Jinsol, then look at Heejin. Then, look at Haseul, and look at Heejin again. You've never gotten used to this dynamic. How much are you supposed to interject between three drunk girls talking? Are you meant to at all? The topic has already gone off-course, and there's no captain to steer the ship back when you're six bottles down.

Your eyes fall on Heejin, then Haseul.

"Oh, man," Heejin says, downing a shot. Her hand falls around her cleavage, as she feels the warmth of the alcohol envelop her and shudders, eyes closed. "Do you really want to get into this?"

Look at Jinsol and Haseul as they laugh, and you join in laughter, and you look at Heejin again; now, she's serious, rolled up her sleeves for good measure. Let's address the whole looking at Heejin thing, because it's so apparent, even to your drunk ass, that it must be apparent to the others too—you asked her out a while ago, first year of college, rejection, but you're still friends now. Then, despite that, she started getting touchier, somehow more flirtatious. Drove and drives you fucking mad. This little hangout thing at Haseul's place is a long ways away (call it half a year) from getting four oral sessions in a day, though you remember it as being a pivotal stepping stone to the routine.

Focus. You're always putting on a performance, and the actors of the nerves of your brain are having trouble getting the script from the filing cabinets. Question: is it more or less suspicious to allocate, say, three glances toward Haseul and Jinsol each to compensate?

"Sure," Haseul says, still giggling to herself. She's been doing that ever since asked the first question. "What's so wonderful about getting your jaw sore and your mouth dry?"

Heejin makes an angry noise and says through gritted teeth, "It's not about that, obviously. There's so much more to sucking dick than the…" She gestures with her arms, unable to find a word.

"Why do you like it, Heejin?" you ask. Everyone stares at you. "Sorry, nevermind."

"No, no, it's fine," Heejin says."Lemme just, how do I put this? It's like, when you're sucking dick, you feel like you're controlling the dude. You decide when he gets hard, when he gets wet, and when he cums."

"So, you're a sadist," Jinsol says.

"Sadist, my ass," Heejin retorts. "It's… empowering. Sucking dick is empowering."

Huh. The alcohol fizzles and dies in your mind, and Heejin's deep voice echoes in your head to take the place—oh, Heejin is fucking wasted, by the way. Drank as much as the other two combined, but still standing (sitting), but barely.

"Weird," Jinsol replies.

Haseul crosses her arms, facing Jinsol. "Hey, don't kink shame."

"No, no, you don't get it. There's another reason," Heejin continues, verging mad by now. Her cheeks are turning red. "Dicks taste good. Taste amazing, even. And… dicks have faces."

Haseul spits out soju. Jinsol coughs soju. You're lucky you weren't mid-drink.

"Dicks have faces?" Jinsol and Haseul say together.

"Y-yeah," Heejin says, her face flushed. "Dicks have faces. Like, if you suck on the head a bit, you can see different expressions. If you lick the underside, you can see them smile. If you swallow deep… they cry."

Your pants tighten. Somehow, you get it.

She says quietly and quickly, "Oh and also I like the taste of cum. Alright, fine, I really like the taste of cum." She gets louder. "Fine, okay, geez, I LOVE the taste of cum! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Everyone bursts out in laughter. Heejin sips angrily on soju.

"Alright, Heejin," you say. "That was quite an enlightening explanation."

"Shut up, you," she says, sternly.

You gulp.

Haseul and Jinsol go get snacks from the kitchen, leaving you and Heejin alone.

"Dicks have faces, huh," you say.

"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Not a chance. You know, no one made you say all that."

Heejin grumbles. You try to get closer, but she puts her hand on your thigh.

"You've got a boner," she says. "Stop."

"Wha? What do you mean?"

"Stop." Heejin stares at you with a serious face, contrasting all the redness in her cheeks.

You don't know where to start with a response.

"It's just, I don't wanna make things weird"—too late—"and obviously all this girls' talk has you riled up or whatever"—by the way, Heejin's hand is slinking higher up your pants—"and I know it's not your fault, but, we're friends, and I don't wanna ruin that."

"S-sorry."

"Good boy."

Heejin had to look in your eyes while saying that one, huh?

You clear your throat, and all efforts to tame your second brain fail. Another drink. It's agonizing, waiting for Haseul and Jinsol to return. Then, Haseul and Jinsol return. Snacks. Too little, too late. There are probably other conversations as the night goes on, but your mind is already spinning from the alcohol, spinning even further at dirty thoughts incepted by Heejin. Eventually, Haseul and Jinsol conk out, and Heejin helps you carry them to Haseul's room.

"Heejin," you say. "I can carry them myself."

"Yeah, I know. Isn't it usually Jinsol who passes out last?"

You would scoff at Heejin's remark, though with your mind elsewhere, you just nod. After you lay Jinsol and Haseul delicately on the bed, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, where you jerk off furiously. You've never tugged yourself without a video in tow or some other material to assist, and you've never felt this urge drunk, but the mere concept of Heejin sucking off your cock like she needs it is enough for you to cum. Mark this as the inevitable inciting incident: the door swings open as you pump your last shot.

You make eye contact. Heejin blinks. Cum flies.

"Uh," you say.

"Woah," she says.

You say nothing.

Heejin closes the door.

"Shit," you mutter and you've used too much toilet paper wiping down where you shot and you're fumbling and you almost trip over yourself and—goddammit, what the fuck just happened. Once you clean yourself off, you go outside.

Heejin is standing there.

"It's fine. Don't sweat it," she says.

"I… I don't know if I can. You know. If I can, like, not sweat it, fuck." You sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. Look, I'm gonna take the bed in her other room, you're fine with the couch right?"

You're drifting in and out of consciousness on the couch when Heejin shakes you awake.

"Huh?" you say.

"You know, I lied."

"About what?"

"Sucking dick having faces."

You blink. You rub your eyes.

"I lied. Dicks don't have faces. Cocks have personalities."

You're too tired to say anything. You just stare at Heejin. You smell a bit more alcohol on her shirt.

"Well, no, I mean, it's true, dicks have faces. But also cocks have personalities."

You think, but no words come out.

"The difference is, um, when a cock has personality, it has preferences and stuff. Like… preference for speed, depth, and tightness. When a cock has personality, you can tell when it likes and doesn't like what you're doing."

You nod off.

"Like, I could tell you would really like if I take all of you in my mouth. You definitely look more like an intimate, slow deepthroat kind of guy, you know, instead of the facefucking, gagging thing. It's like MBTI, yeah, that's it. Your cock is definitely an I, not an E. Oh, maybe a lot of tongue action? But not in the teasing the tip for the whole time sort of thing. Or, am I wrong? What kind of blowjobs do you like? Because you have the kind of cock I wanna tease, and the kind of dick I wanna kiss and why did you waste that load on a tissue, like are you kidding…"

Your eyes are closed.

A woman's deep voice. "Right. Well. Anyways, it's pretty late, and we're both drunk. So, uh. Good night. I guess."

✦✧✦✧✦✧

You wake up. Sunlight. Snack wrappers. Haseul and Jinsol nowhere to be found, or awake, rather. Heejin is next to you on the couch—no, you're hugging each other—actually, she's draped over you like a blanket, and your erection is pushing against her ass.

Heejin wakes up.

"Shit," you say, getting up. "I'm sorry."

"Didn't I tell you to... ugh, whatever."

You sit on Haseul's couch, rubbing the sleep and hangover out of your face, crust out of your eyes. You stretch, hearing creaks in your bones. Heejin sits up, looks forward.

"Last night," she starts. "I might have said some, uh, crazy things."

You snort.

Looking at you, she frowns. She doesn't seem hungover at all, not a bead of sweat on her forehead. Her hair is perfect, as are her pouty lips.

Your brow upturned, you scoff. "Like, crazy? That's one way to put…"

There's a twist in those lips now, like she's running it back in her head; now you are too.

"I mean—yeah, that's the right word, but..."

She's still staring at you, and your mind's really running in circles and sure she laid out the track herself but you could just run off it at any time.

Oh, you're following the track still? "It's, just, I'm, I'm sorry for, what I was, you know, doing. Last night."

Heejin sighs. "I told you. Stop apologizing. It's fine."

"Okay," you say.

You make an excuse to Heejin about getting home, despite wanting nothing more than to spend time with her. What's the point of hanging out when it's just going to make your crush on her worse.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

When you get home, you end up jerking off three times in a row in your own bathroom, but at least you aren't interrupted any of those times. 

A few days after the party, you've been thinking about Heejin's joke a lot more than you should.

The worst thing is that Heejin is being all chummy with you again like nothing happened. You wonder if she's doing that on purpose. Either way, you've learned that you need to distance yourself. You've been avoiding group hangouts. You haven't answered your texts in a couple days. You've avoided the pet store the both of you always visit, instead opting to support local businesses like—insert large delivery corporation here (no free advertising)—for your fish food. This goes on for a week.

The week ends when Jungeun comes to your house.

"What?" you say, lounging, staring at air bubbles floating to the top of your little aquarium.

"Don't 'what' me," Jungeun replies through the closed door. "Open up."

"No."

"Look, I'm here because Heejin is really sad, and so Haseul wanted to know why you're not talking to Heejin, and I volunteered because I could tell Heejin really wants to see you and not just talk to you."

"Jungeun, I don't know."

"Listen. I'm not leaving."

Ten minutes later, Jungeun is eating potato chips in your room.

"So… why are you avoiding her?" Jungeun asks.

"What does she want to say to me?" you ask.

Jungeun pauses. "She… told me to tell you to go see her."

You sit on your sofa next to Jungeun, grabbing chips out of the bag. They're your chips.

"She didn't tell me to tell you what exactly it is, but it's important," Jungeun continues. "But honestly, what's been up with you?"

"Nothing's been up with me. I'm the same guy."

"That sounds like someone who has not been the same guy."

You eat more chips. "And how are things going with you and Jinsol," you say.

Jungeun stops slouching. "Hey, don't try and change the subject. For the record, it's been going fine, thank you very much."

"Sounds like you're still in the friendzone."

"You're the last person I want to hear that from."

"Me, the last person? I'd assume Jinsol would be the last person you want to hear that from."

"Fine! Just stop being a dumbass, okay? Heejin really, really wants to talk to you."

You put your hands up. "Okay. You win. I'll talk to her."

"Awesome." Jungeun looks down at her phone, then looking back up, she smiles. "Oh, by the way, Yerim just texted me, she finally finished exams for the semester. What if Heejin and Yerim both come over? We can get everything out of the way, two for one deal."

You sigh. "Yeah, I guess."

She pats you on the shoulder.

You feel no less comforted.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Two for one deal, your ass. You're pacing around your bedroom. Yerim and Jungeun are playing Smash in the living room, and Heejin is… somewhere, probably. The door is shut. All the noise in the world is muffled. You don't know what to expect. Obviously, Heejin needs to talk to you; you're her friend, one of her best friends, and you've been ignoring her for the past week. You sit down. Take a deep breath.

Knock, knock.

"Come in," you say.

You sit on your bed. So does Heejin. You look away. Look down. She smells really, really good, sweet and warm. You've missed her, a lot.

"Hey," Heejin says.

So she's talking first. "Hey," you respond.

You were already loosening up your tense shoulders, but Heejin says "So, Mr. Dickface" and you laugh and you look at Heejin, casually stunning in a simple outfit, a white tee, black shorts.

"Heejin, come on. It's been a week. I swear I would've forgotten if you didn't bring it up."

She pouts.

"Okay," you say, "alright, I would have not forgotten, fine. I still can't believe you. Dicks having faces."

She laughs now.

There's a lull in the conversation. The sound of Yerim shouting and buttons mashing is barely audible. You turn to face Heejin, and she's still looking at you. Her eyes are… soft, vulnerable. She's holding herself.

"Listen," Heejin says. "I'm sorry if I've been weird these past... mmm, months? I know you're not dumb, and I guess, I've been treating you like you are."

You whisper, "I am dumb though."

"No, you're not." She scoffs. "I'm sorry, seriously. We're friends. And friends don't lead each other on and play games"—the sound of a cheer coming from outside the room, definitely Jungeun—"okay, well, they do, but friends don't keep their friends wondering."

"Wondering?"

Heejin sighs. "Let me just get this off my chest. So, yeah, I like you. A lot. Obviously, you've liked me since the beginning. Or, well, loved. When you asked me out, I was excited and nervous and confused, but I... You know me. I've got a million things going on at the same time. Dating as a possibility didn't even cross my mind."

"Yeah. I get it. I don't blame you for that. I guess if we're both laying it all out, I get it. I swear I do. It's that dynamic that always fucks up a friendship between guy and a girl, and I think it's good we got that question out of the way early. But like, I was shocked, obviously, when you started touching me so much, holding hands, sitting on my lap, hugging me." You pause and look away. "It felt good, but it also felt wrong. Like you were playing with my feelings."

Heejin reaches out and takes your hand. "I wasn’t playing with you," she says softly. “I was playing with myself"—half a giggle comes out of you, adding some levity, and she smacks your shoulder—"No, not like that. What was I saying? Right, I guess I was trying to figure out what I wanted."

"Right." Your head hangs again. "So what? I'm just a bystander? A side effect?"

"Yes."

She laughs, squeezing your hand. You pout.

"I'm kidding. You're more than that. Way more. I've learned that much by now."

Heejin takes a long pause.

You can hear breathing, neither exhalations nor inhalations matching pace. It's tense.

"You know what else I learned? Because there's something else on my mind right now. Sort of, sparking in my head, shouting. I know we're having this whole heartfelt thing and I'm sorry for ruining it, but I have to say this because you have a boner and it's springing in your pants and I might be drooling or something—fuck. I've learned that I love sucking dick. A lot. Okay?"

This is the first time you've seen Heejin get so flustered, so bothered. So are you.

She isn't looking at you, yet she continues anyway: "Well. I have to be honest. That's all hypothetical. You know, I've never actually done it. I've just thought about it. A lot. And, obviously, you know, cucumbers turn to dildos and other toys and stuff. And then I saw your dick. And now I've thought about your dick and keep thinking about it."

Your heart skips a beat.

"Yeah." Heejin starts nodding, gaining confidence. "Yeah. I'm certain now. And please, don't think you're taking advantage of me or something, because you're not. In fact, I want you to take advantage of me."

Your breath stays in your lungs.

"How about this," Heejin says, leaning in more. "Do you wanna… fuck around? Or, well, I mean, that's a crass way of putting it. Be my partner in crime. Suckbuddy. Fuckfriend. Whatever you call it. No strings attached. You want a blowjob? You'll get a blowjob. That kind of thing. Even if it's not dating or whatever, we just do what we want to do and we can figure it out later."

Your smile grows slowly. "You know what? Sounds good to me."

"That's it? I drop all that in front of you and you're just, 'sounds good to me'?"

"Okay, fine. Here. I forgive you. That good?"

"Actually, that helps." Heejin exhales, a sigh of relief. "Great."

Silence. Cleared throats. The both of you sit closer now. Her knees bump into yours, and she giggles. She holds your hand. Your eyes meet. You're holding her gaze and her body heat is emanating from her skin and you want her, badly.

"You look handsome today," Heejin whispers. "Have I told you that lately?"

"No," you say, quieter, feeling meek. "You haven't. Thank you."

Her free hand brushes strands of hair.

"Your hair, so cute," she says, happily humming.

Heejin scoots even closer as her knee nudges between your legs.

"Nothing to say? Mm… okay. I have a question."

"What is it?"

Heejin kisses you, immediately catching your lips before you can breath, a taste of chocolate-tinged lip gloss, as her tongue mingles with yours. Her hand lays over your bulge, and her leg is still bumping into your crotch. She pulls away.

"Wow. You're kissing good," she says, flustered.

"No, you're better at it. Amazing. You're amazing."

"God, you're sweet." She laughs.

Your mouths are together again. You pull her into a hug, and she squeals.

"Woah there," she says.

"Sorry. Got a little excited."

"It's fine." Heejin looks away. 

You squeeze her harder, and she squeezes you harder. You break the hug.

"Hey. How far," Heejin starts, "do you think we want to go?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, right now. In the moment. If I'm reading this right, and I think I am, you really, really want me. So how far? Are we just gonna kiss this time? Or do you wanna go a bit further? A lot further."

You freeze. "Honestly, you decide."

"You sure? Because, if I had it my way, I, um, I don't think I'll stop sucking your dick until Yerim finally wins a round and they wonder where the fuck we've been."

Your eyes are wide. "Y-you're really picturing that, aren't you? The two of them barging in while my cock is down your throat."

She does not reply.

"You are unbelievable."

"I can't help it," she says, almost whining. "You have the sort of cock I really want to play with."

You pull Heejin back into another hug, kissing her. She pushes you onto the bed and straddles your thighs. Her body heat, her scent, her hands caressing you. This is the first time you're feeling this much of her body against your own, and it's incredible. Even better—much, much better—is when she lifts up her shirt, revealing a simple, black bra. She takes her shirt off completely, and your hands grab at her stomach. How many times have you watched her do ab workouts for an ungodly amount of time, hoping one day you could feel her six-pack for yourself? Your hands then trail up higher, until you're grabbing at her tits, still ensconced within the confines of a bra, but her breasts are heavenly, perky, waiting to be squished and bounced on your hands.

Heejin has other designs for you: she grabs both of your wrists and pins them to the bed above your head. Your pants are tenting, and she grinds against your cock. You moan.

"I love seeing you like this," Heejin says. She lowers her torso onto yours, breasts spilling out of her bra a bit. She grinds harder, and you moan again. "You're so hot, and you're all for me. God, I wanna… fuck around so much."

She backs up, dragging her crotch down your leg as she descends. When she reaches your foot, she sits and puts it between her legs.

"Shit, Heejin," you say.

She bends over to kiss your neck.

"Your foot… feels good. I'll never say that again, so don't you dare make fun of me."

"Wouldn't dream of it. You can always tell me what you like."

She's rubbing her crotch against your ankle and taking your shirt off. Her lips move down to your nipple, licking circles around it.

"Your cock… feels big," she says. She grabs at it through your pants. "I'm so fucking excited for the real thing."

You've imagined this moment so many times. You'd fantasized about being pinned to a bed, about being teased by Heejin, of course, but you didn't expect, couldn't ever picture how she'd really sound, how she'd actually feel, how it would feel to be touched, licked, kissed by her. And yet here she is, biting on your nipple, moaning herself as she uses your foot.

She lets go. "Your… chest is so nice."

"Uh, thanks."

Heejin smiles and returns to biting, but on your other nipple instead. Her next pecks and licks are on your own abs, tracing over your six pack, following the ridges and dips with her tongue. She takes your waistband in her mouth. Slowly, she pulls down. You lift your hips, and then your pants are off. Heejin drags her cheek against your cock through your underwear, eyes closed.

"Your scent… is amazing." She licks the fabric along your length, where it bulges. "Mmm, this is what I'm talking about."

Your cockhead is poking out of your waistband. She kisses it, and then sucks on it through your underwear.

"Heejin, take it… off."

She stops, eyes wide. She pulls your waistband with her mouth, and you lift your hips again. She tugs it down, your cock sprinting out.

"Oh, wow," she says.

"W-what is it?"

"Your cock… is really, really gorgeous."

You gulp. "Thanks."

Heejin takes your cockhead in her mouth. You close your eyes. She swirls her tongue around the tip. She bobs down, lips wrapped around your shaft. Then, pop. She takes your cock out of her mouth, holding it in her hand.

"Is this… okay?" she asks.

"More than okay. Really, really, really okay."

"Good." She jerks you off, her spit easing the friction.

"Shit, Heejin."

"God, I love hearing you say my name."

She moves faster, your cock slick in her palm. She alternates between fast and slow. One second, she's going quick, and the next, her hand is barely moving, and your cock is twitching in her grasp. Her thumb strokes your underside.

"I… love teasing you," Heejin says. "I love making you beg for me to go faster."

"Please, go faster, then."

"You're so cute." She goes slower. You groan.

Heejin moves her grip to your balls, stroking your underside with her thumb again. Her other hand grabs the base of your cock. Her mouth returns, sucking on your balls. She's pumping up and down.

"Fuck, Heejin, please… go faster."

"Again."

You gulp. "Please, Heejin, go faster."

"Good boy."

Her hand speeds up. Your balls are getting sucked, her tongue licking around them, and her other hand is jerking, and it's like she's milking you. Your climax is imminent. You warn her.

"You're gonna make me cum."

Heejin pops off your balls and takes your cock out of her hand. She lowers her torso.

"I've been waiting so long for this," she says.

She swallows you.

Her tongue is slathering your shaft, and she's bobbing down, and her lips are tight around you. The tip of your cock bumps into the back of her throat. Her hand is caressing your balls. Her other hand is pumping the rest of your shaft. She comes up, taking a deep breath, and her eyes are watering. You wipe the tears away. She smiles, as if she's satisfied with having gagged on your shaft, as if she believes with her heart of hearts her own doctrine, and in such resolve of her mouth returning, you can't deny it.

Maybe her jaw hurts. Maybe her throat's dry. But you sense none of it. Deeper, you hit the back of her throat again, and her lips still curl up into a smile even through more tears. She's still pumping, and her other hand is pinching her nipples. Heejin moans. Her moan vibrates your cock, and her moan vibrates her throat, and her moan vibrates her tongue, like, holy shit, you've never felt anything better. And then…

"Heejin, I'm… cumming."

She stays down. You shoot. Her eyes widen. Another shot, and her eyes are closed. Another shot, and you're groaning, and her throat is swallowing. More shots. You're pumping Heejin full of your cum, and she's pumping you empty. Heejin, relentless, keeps sucking. You try and push her off, meteors dancing in your mind, but she won't budge. She stays down, her eyes still closed.

"Heejin, wait, wait, I'm so, so sensitive."

Heejin shakes her head. With her mouth still full, she says, "Wah, want… ahll."

You collapse. Heejin keeps sucking. Your cock is twitching in her mouth, and you try backing up in your mattress until you hit the headboard. You grip the sheets. You can't stop cumming. Every suck Heejin takes is another shot down her throat, each one joined by a satisfied "mm, mm", and swallowed without hesitation. You lose track of how many shots you pump into her. Even when you stop spurting semen into her mouth, and your orgasm is subsiding, Heejin stays down. She moves her lips from the base of your cock up to your tip, and she sticks her tongue out to cushion the underside of your shaft. You're shaking. You can't stop shaking.

"Heejin," you say—no, you gasp it; you croak it out; you despair for the name, "wait."

She does just that. Wait. With your cock in her lips like a popsicle, and she's waiting for you to melt. She breathes through her nose, humming to herself. You shudder. Your cock is still sensitive.

"Please… wait."

Heejin listens. She doesn't suck, and she doesn't bob. She waits. Your orgasm is over. Your mind is fading.

Pop.

She sucks the tip. Pop. She takes your cock out of her mouth, holding it in her hand again. Her tongue sticks out and licks up your shaft, where all the leftover cum and spit and saliva has gathered.

"Ahh." Her tongue is covered in white cream. A gulp. "Ahh." Her tongue is clean.

If you need a few more breaths, unfortunately you've used up all the air already, and you're just running on whatever other fumes now. "You… are insane," you say.

She giggles. "Was it that bad?"

"No, no, no, it was… the best. And the worst. A-are you gonna do that every time?"

"Do what?"

"Never mind."

Heejin crawls on top of your body. Your cock is nestled between her thighs. She lies on top of you.

"Did you like it?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Do you wanna… keep being fuckfriends with me? Suckbuddies? While I talked all the game about blowjobs, I wouldn't mind if you gave me a little oral service once in a while too." She says quietly, like she's felt bashfulness for the first time in her life, "And, I, um, am down to do more too. A little later. Or something."

"Of course. Yeah."

You wrap your arms around her.

"Good," Heejin says.

She kisses you. Your cum is on her lips, and she's sharing the taste with you. You taste yourself. It's nothing terrible, but she did gulp your load down without stopping, so, you can't fully empathize with her enthusiasm. Still, you reciprocate, savoring Heejin instead.

You hear cheering from outside the room.

"Think Jungeun won," Heejin says.

You snort. "Should we… go out? Pretend like nothing's changed?"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out."

✦✧✦✧✦✧

You and Heejin end up deciding not to hide anything, but not telling the girls either. They'd find out sooner or later, and besides, you'd both want to brag about it, eventually.

After the three of them say their goodbyes and leave your house, you head straight to your bathroom. You thought Heejin's lips fully drained you dry, but apparently not, because you shoot more loads thinking of how her throat swallowed you.

You receive a text from her.

> miss you already ;)

You smile.

> Miss you too. can't wait for next time.

Heejin sends a photo. A strand of spit falls from her lips, down to her cleavage. Your heart skips a beat.

> neither can i <3

You save the photo.

Your phone buzzes again.

> don't jack off to it though

> Too late.

You send your fingers and shaft covered in cum.

She sends a photo again, of her frowning.

> wtf!! that was my load! i'm gonna kill you!!!

You laugh and send a text with your other hand. 

> Love you.

> lol yeah yeah whatever

You send another photo of your cock.

> another pic. As my apology

> wait.... didn't you say you just jerked off

> yeah?

> and you're still hard?

You gulp.

> guess so.

> you're such a stud. come over. i'll help you with that

You can't get dressed fast enough.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

You meet halfway. A park, late at night. Fastest option, you're both too horny. You and Heejin are behind a building, some sort of community center, too late to be open or for the sun to shine down on the two of you being so daring outdoors.

Heejin's lips are on your neck, bound to leave marks, but you can't find yourself caring. Her hand is massaging your balls over your shorts, her other hand is down your underwear pumping your shaft, and her thigh is grinding against your cock. She kisses you.

You grab her jaw and pull her off you. "Um, I'm sorry. I, um, I think we might wanna establish some ground rules or something."

She stares at you, wide-eyed. "Ground rules? Like, safewords and stuff?"

"Uh, I guess, yeah. I just… I don't know, it'd make me feel more comfortable if, you know, we had some boundaries."

Heejin sighs. "Fine. Fair. Makes sense, I guess. I'm not a huge fan of… talking about feelings and stuff, but, I get it."

"Right, so, um, obviously, no feelings, and, I dunno, no dating?"

"Yep. You can see other girls. I'll see other dudes. Nothing serious."

"Sure. Yeah. Okay."

Heejin continues pumping your cock. "Anything… else?"

You gulp. "Safeword, I guess. And, like, is there anything you're… not okay with?"

"Um, not sure. Never thought about it."

"Okay, well, what's a word you hate?"

"Hmm… dick."

You blink.

Heejin giggles. "Just kidding. Um, I dunno, uh, penis? Cock? Uhh… sausage."

"Sausage?"

"Yeah. Sausage."

You pause. "And if, you know, I can't speak?"

"Tap three times on me or whatever. Three for sausage. Sounds good?"

"Yep. Three for sausage."

"Great. Anything else?"

"There was one thing in particular I was thinking about. So like, one time, I nutted seven times in a day."

Her mouth starts to water. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Heejin pumps faster. "That's… amazing."

"No, but that's the thing. I gotta set limits, Heejin. Even this, third time, it's, it's a lot. Too much."

She frowns. "What, so… no multiple nut sessions?"

"Once a week. Maybe."

"Fine, fine, okay. Once a week."

"Okay, cool. Ground rules established. Sausage as the safeword. No dating, seeing other people. Three times for sausage. One nut session a week."

"Got it." Heejin resumes pumping your shaft.

"Hey, Heejin, um, what do you want me to… do, when you're blowing me?  Anything you want? Because it feels like I'm just"—she gets on her knees—"kinda doing nothing and"—she pulls your shorts and underwear down—"you're doing"—she puts your cockhead in her mouth—everything, see!"

Pop. "Yeah. I dunno. Don't worry about me. Focus on yourself."

"Wait, Heejin, but, aren't we partners in crime, fuckbuddies, whatever, I wanna, like, make you feel good too."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Mr. Dickface." She jerks your shaft, and your knees buckle. You figure you might as well sit on the concrete floor, your back slumped on the brick wall. It's a makeshift position that you'll learn to get used to. She lowers her face to your crotch, then continues, "But don't worry. Feeling your cock cum is enough to make me feel good."

Heejin licks circles around your shaft, where the precum has gathered. Her hand is pumping the rest. Your cock is already twitching.

"Besides," she continues, "if you focus on me… we'd never get anywhere."

Pop.

She swallows you.

"Heejin, shit."

Her bobbing is relentless. She's pumping your shaft and massaging your balls, and she's deepthroating your shaft. Her spit is drenching your cock, and her lips are tight, and her tongue is slathering. Heejin's bobbing up and down, and your cockhead bumps into the back of her throat. Your balls clench. You shoot.

Pop.

Heejin takes your cockhead out of her mouth. Her hand is jerking, and the first shot hits her lips. The second, she opens her mouth to catch. The third, she closes her lips. The fourth, she catches in her mouth again. The fifth, she swipes up with her tongue. The sixth, she catches. The seventh, she misses, and your cum lands on her cheek. The eighth, she misses again, and your cum lands on her chin. The ninth, Heejin opens her mouth, and your cum falls right in. She gulps. The tenth, she misses again, and your cum lands on her neck. Heejin's pumping slows.

"That… was… amazing," you say.

Pop. "Yeah."

"Fuck. I'm just saying. Next time, I'm going to get a taste of your pussy." You open your mouth. "See, my mouth's watering just thinking about it."

"Yeah?" She jerks your shaft. Another shot lands on her neck. She wipes your cum and sticks her finger in your mouth. "You're adorable. But you're right. Next time."

✦✧✦✧✦✧

The two of you had ramyeon at a convenience store after, then said bye. Like friends. Just friends.

The next time is two days later, at night again. This time, you finally go to Heejin's apartment. You haven't been here in a long time, not since she moved in. It's cleaner than you remember.

"Make yourself at home," Heejin says.

You sit on her couch. She sits next to you. You kiss. Your hands are groping her breasts, and her hand is pumping your shaft. You lift her shirt, and her tits are freed from her bra. Her nipples are hard. You pinch them.

"Hey, wait, stop, stop," she says.

"Sausage?"

"N-no, I'm… fine, just, wait."

"What is it?"

"Um, so… I kinda… made a mess. Earlier."

"What… kind of mess?"

She giggles. "On my bed. You'll see."

Heejin leads you to her room.

"Holy shit," you say.

"Surprise?"

She's made a mess, alright. Sheets stained white, spots and splotches, streaks and trails, the whole nine yards. Your cock twitches, even if you're confused how one woman could make such a mess on her own.

"I was, um, thinking about sucking your cock all day yesterday. I didn't wanna touch myself, but I couldn't help it."

"I'm glad."

Heejin lies on her bed, pulling her shorts and underwear off. Her pussy is glistening. She spreads her legs.

"Come. Lick it."

"I've been waiting for this." You crawl on top of Heejin's body and put your face between her legs. You lick circles around her slit. You lick up and down her folds. "I don't exactly have toys to practice on like you... so I'm gonna need to do plenty of catching up."

"Don't worry. Practice away."

You lick circles again, and Heejin's quiet. You lick up and down, and she's quiet. You flick her clit, and Heejin's quiet. Your tongue is slathering her slit, and she's quiet.

"Wait, Heejin, is… everything okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

"What is it? Is my tongue rough or something?"

She looks at you. "Oh, no, no, not at all! No, it's, um, your technique's, uh, kinda lacking."

"Ah. Yeah, see."

"Here, I'll show you."

Heejin sits up and pushes you down. She's straddling your face.

"First," she says, "spread my… my lips. Like this."

She spreads her labia.

"Then, you wanna, kinda, stick your tongue inside, like, deep."

Heejin uses her finger to spread herself wider. You stick your tongue inside her hole.

"Now… use your thumb to, like, rub my clit, and move your tongue around. Like, you're, um, writing, something, with your tongue, I guess. Inside me. Like, a, um, circle. Shit, I dunno."

You rub her clit. Heejin moans. You lick circles inside her hole.

"And, uh, yeah, that's… about it. Oh, and, move your, your finger and thumb. Not at the same time. And I'll grab your hair and move you around and I guess just tell you what to do. And then you can figure it out after that, right?"

"Yeah. Got it."

Heejin lies back down. You spread her lips. You stick your tongue inside her hole. You rub her clit. You lick circles inside her hole.

"A little lower. And, and, like, lick, not circles, but, a, like, a line. But not a straight line. An, um, I dunno, a diagonal one. But not a diagonal one. A, uh, a curve, but not a curve. Um."

You lick lower. You lick diagonally, but not a diagonal. You lick a curve, but not a curve.

"There. Yeah. That's… good. Keep going."

You lick diagonally, but not a diagonal. You lick a curve, but not a curve. Heejin moans. Your tongue is still licking, and she moans, and her hand is on top of your head.

"Use your, your thumb, and, and, like, stick your index finger inside. Like, curl your finger and, and, find my, my, um, g-spot."

You rub her clit. You stick your index finger inside. You curl your finger. Heejin moans. Your tongue is licking diagonally, but not a diagonal. Your index finger is curling, searching, and you find her g-spot, a soft patch inside her walls. Your tongue is licking curves, but not a curve. Heejin moans again.

"Add… another finger."

You stick your middle finger inside.

"Curve both, both your, your fingers. Both fingers."

You curl both your fingers.

"And, and, like, twist. But not twist. Rotate. But not rotate. Uh, fuck, um, shit, I dunno, uh, fuck, whatever, just, um, fuck, uh, wait."

You lick diagonally, but not a diagonal. You curl both fingers. You rotate, but not rotate. While you're going through advanced mathematics under a tutor under a slightly lust-drunk stupor, you're starting to understand both sides more. On the one hand, your mouth is indeed going dry, and your jaw is starting to hurt. On the other hand, you're drooling. Whatever taste Heejin's pussy has is starting to get really addicting, enough for your cock to stay hard the entire time, enough for you to ignore the fatigue.

"Add… another finger."

You stick your ring finger inside, which immediately earns a moan from Heejin. Your tongue is licking curves, but not a curve. Your fingers are curled, rotated, twisted, whatever. Heejin moans again. You're rubbing her clit.

"Fuck, more, more. Rub my, my, rub my clit faster. Fuck, lick faster."

You speed up. You curl your fingers. You rotate them. You twist them. Heejin moans again. Her hand is tight on top of your head. Her body is trembling. You move your free hand and press it onto her stomach to keep her still. Your three fingers are thrusting in and out of Heejin's pussy, and her hips are buckling. Her walls are clenching. She moans, a final time.

Heejin lets go. You lick. Your fingers are thrusting. Your thumb is rubbing her clit. Heejin shudders. More gushes of cum coat your tongue and fingers. She's going to drown you. You understand how she made that mess. Your three fingers are pistoning in and out of Heejin's pussy as her climax subsides. More gushes. More. Less. Some.

"Wait," she says. "Hold… hold it. My spot."

You stop rotating, twisting, and whatever-ing. Her walls are fluttering. Your three fingers are still. Her girl cum is trickling out of her hole.

You take your face off Heejin's crotch.

"Holy… fucking shit," she says.

"Wild ride?"

"That was… amazing."

You flex your fingers. "Yeah. Didn't know you could squirt like that."

"Neither did… I."

Heejin props herself up. You stick your three cum-soaked fingers in her mouth. She sucks. She moans. You stick them deeper down her throat, and her lips are wrapping. Her eyes are closing.

"Thanks for… teaching me," you say.

Pop. "Mmm. Of course."

Your three fingers return to her pussy. You pump, and her girl cum is slicking your fingers. Heejin lies back down. Your three fingers are pistoning again. She moans.

"Wait, wait, sausage, sausage!"

You stop. "Shit, sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine. Just, sensitive."

"Got it."

Heejin giggles. "Sorry. Sometimes… I squirt a lot. Um. Overstimulated."

"Well, at least you know how I feel."

"Wait, was that a sausage moment, because I feel so bad and—"

You interrupt Heejin with a kiss. "No, it's fine. In fact, it was really fucking hot, and besides, I already told you about how much I can cum. Oh yeah, by the way—" another kiss, because there is no such thing as too many with Heejin "—I kinda wanna see the toys you were talking about."

"Really?"

"Yeah. If that's… cool."

She smiles. "Sure. Lemme, lemme clean up first."

"Alright."

Heejin cleans her bed with tissues, and you help her wipe up. Then, you head to her closet. She opens it, and… holy shit. There's an assortment of vibrators and dildos and g-spot stimulators and other contraptions and tools, almost an entire shelf dedicated to sex toys.

"This is… incredible," you say.

"Hey, um, by the way, could you, um, close your eyes?" she asks. "I, um, dunno, it'd… feel less embarrassing."

"Sure."

You close your eyes.

"And, like, turn around."

You turn around.

"Okay, okay, so, um, these ones"—you hear plastic tapping against plastic—"are just the vibrators. These ones"—plastic tapping again—"are the dildos. And then… um, these ones are for g-spots, and, and then there's more for anal, and then… um, I dunno, basically, um, the rest is stuff I've gotten on impulse because it looked fun."

You snort. "Impulse, huh?"

"Shut up. Um… open your eyes."

You turn back around. Heejin's holding a Hitachi wand.

"Okay, so, like, this, this is probably my favorite. Wand. Magic wand. And then"—she puts it back and holds a simple, white vibrator—"this is the, um, the next one." She puts it back and holds a curved, purple toy—"then this. Um… this is, this is the biggest"—she puts it back and holds a monster of a dildo—"um, and then, this is the smallest." She points to a cute, pink bullet vibe.

So many questions flood your mind, but the only thing you can blurt out is, "Impulse purchases, huh?"

Heejin shoves you. "Shut up! Um… and then, this"—black anal beads—"and, um, this"—clear, pink butt plug—"are for anal. Obviously. And then, um, basically, I've, um, experimented. A lot."

"Experimented, huh?"

She shoves you again. "Stop… saying huh!"

You wrap Heejin in a hug. "I'll say huh as much as I want."

"Whatever. Um… anything you wanna… try?"

You gulp. "C-could I watch you use them?"

Heejin steps away. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you're comfortable. Like, right now. Or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

Heejin sighs. "You… absolute pervert."

"You're the one with"—you point to her shelf—"all that."

"Fine, fine. Um, sure. Which… do you wanna see me use?"

You gulp again. "So, um. You said you practiced sucking dick on one of them right? Imagined it was me?"

She rubs her thighs together. "Y-yeah."

"Which… was it?"

Heejin reaches for one. She holds a flesh-colored dildo, about the length and girth of your own cock.

"This one," she says.

"Then, that one, please."

She nods. "Okay… sit on the bed. Get comfy."

Heejin puts the dildo on her bed and closes the closet door. She undresses completely, tossing her clothes to the side. Your cock is tenting. She returns, picks the dildo, and then she lies on her bed next to you.

"So… you, you just wanna watch me use this? Suck on it and stuff?"

You nod. "Yeah. Please."

Heejin bends her legs and spreads her thighs. Your cock twitches. Her free hand rubs her slit. She's spreading her lips.

"Shit, Heejin, you're so hot."

"Thanks… pervert."

She sticks the dildo inside her hole, and you love watching how her pussy stretches for it. Especially knowing your cock will be doing the same soon. That image makes you harder, enough for you to pull down your pants and start jerking.

"Heejin, would, would you… talk? Your voice is so pretty."

Heejin blushes. "Thank you. What do you want me to say?"

"Just, like, anything. Tell me… what you're imagining. What you're feeling.. Your fantasies."

Heejin gulps. "Um, o-okay."

Her free hand is rubbing circles around her clit. The dildo is slowly pumping in and out of her hole.

"Sometimes, um," she starts, "sometimes I imagine… it's you. Inside me. Your cock. And, um, usually, we're, we're doing missionary, and, um, your hands are on my tits. Pinching my nipples. Wait, come here. Pinch my nipples."

You follow her command, sitting closer to her so you can grab a nipple with one hand while your other jerks faster. Heejin moans. You jerk faster.

"Oh, god, mmm. If I could keep your gorgeous fucking dick in my mouth all day I would. I'd suck it every second. God, I'd, I'd wake up to it. I'd go to sleep sucking on it. Hnnh. Your hands… are making me feel really good. Or we could cuddle and watch a movie, and the whole time you'd be... fuck, you'd be slowly sliding your cock in and out of my asshole. Mmnh. God, and, maybe we'd have friends over, and you'd fuck me from behind, and no one would know. Shit, especially when we're at Yerim's, you could take me to her really nice bathroom and rail me in her really nice shower. Mmm."

The dildo speeds up, and her clit rubbing is speeding up. Your jerking is speeding up too.

"Or we'd go out to eat, and, fuck, you'd finger me under the table, and then, and then you'd order dessert, and instead of eating the real thing, you'd feed me your cock, and I'd cream myself. God, shit, your hands. Mmfh. Or, or, sometimes I imagine, we're on the couch, and Jungeun and Jinsol and Haseul are hanging out, and they're just chatting away, and I'm sucking your dick, or you're fingering me, or I'm warming your cock in my pussy, and no one would know. Shit. Or they do know, and they pretend like I'm not even there on my knees sucking you off. Fuck."

You're about to cum. "Shit, Heejin, keep going, I'm so, so, so, so close."

"Nngh. And I'd even—wait, d-don't waste that cum yet." She takes the dildo out and moves closer to you. "Feed me. Put it in my mouth."

You do. Heejin's jerking the rest of your shaft, and your tip is in her lips, and she's pumping, and her spit is slathering. You groan, and she moans, and a shot fires into her throat. Her jerking doesn't stop. Another shot, and your mind is fading. Another.

Pop. She's gasping for air, trying not to spill the load as she speaks. "Ahh, waih, feed me, hah, some cum, wifh your hand."

You take your cock out of her mouth, masturbating some cum onto your palm. Once your climax eventually subsides, you offer your hand to Heejin, and she makes eye contact as she slurps up your seed and licks every joint of your fingers.

After she has every drop she can get in her mouth, she looks up, gargles, and then gulps. "Thank you for the meal."

You sigh. "Jesus, you're crazy."

"Only for you."

You kiss. "I'm honored."

"Um, by the way, can I finish?"

"Yeah, of course."

Heejin lies back down and picks the dildo. Her free hand is rubbing her clit again, and the dildo is pumping in and out of her hole.

"Hold on," you say. "Could I… use the wand on you?"

She stops. "Really?"

"Yeah. Unless it's sausage time."

Heejin giggles. "No, no, it's fine, just, um, lemme… get comfy again." She gets on all fours, and you move to a squat, holding the wand in one hand and the dildo in the other. "And, um, don't turn it on the highest setting. Not yet."

"Got it."

You stick the dildo inside Heejin's pussy and move the wand to her clit. You turn the wand on, and the sound of buzzing fills her room, followed by a moan from Heejin.

"Tell me more fantasies," you say.

She tries her best to give you everything she's thinking about, from bending her over the kitchen counter to tying her up and edging her, from fucking her mouth blindfolded to having a whole day where you fuck her whenever you want, free-use style. You're glad that she trusts you enough to share her kinks. You're looking forward to experiencing them someday.

Her dirty talking devolves into incomprehensible moans, and her doggystyle position is faltering, her face in the mattress. You stick the dildo deeper, and you turn the wand to a higher setting. She screams.

"Shit, sausage, sausage!"

You immediately stop everything. Heejin's trembling.

"Oh, god," she says.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. Just, too much."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, it's fine, just, sensitive. But you owe me."

"What do you mean?"

"Turn the wand off and give me the dildo. I'm going to cum with your cock in my mouth because that's where it belongs."

You comply, handing her the dildo and turning the wand off. Then, Heejin lies back down on the bed. You're uncertain about where to go, until she grabs your ass, pulling you to mount on top of her chest.

"There we go."

You look back and see Heejin starting to dildo-fuck herself again, and before you can look at Heejin's face again, she's already captured your cockhead in her lips.

"Oh, fuck," you say.

She moans. You jerk off the rest of your shaft, and she's moaning hungrily around you. Heejin's free hand massages your balls, and she pistons the dildo at a hearty pace, a loud, sloppy pace. As if she were imitating what your cock would sound like, if it were pounding her hole. Having painted a million pictures in your mind, and having heard her talk about so many fantasies, your mind can't help but fill in the blanks. The biggest blank is her throat.

"Heejin," you say.

Pop. "Mmm. Yeah?"

"Could I… choke you with my cock?"

She giggles. "Go for it, stud. Shoot it straight down. I don't care. It'll make me cum harder. I wanna feel my throat bruise."

You gulp. "A-are you sure?"

"Mmm. Totally. I'm gonna keep fucking myself and sucking you off and if I tap three times on you, then it's sausage time, and you stop choking me. Deal?"

"Deal."

Heejin takes your cockhead back in her mouth and moans. Her free hand goes back to your balls, and you place both your hands on the sides of her head. Slowly, carefully, you force her lips to travel past your tip, and to reach halfway down your shaft. Her cheeks are concave and your palms can feel her slobbering. Once she reaches your base, her eyes are watering. She looks up at you, her dildo fucking faster, her lips tight. You pull on Heejin's hair to move her head up. She moans. Her whole body is trembling again. You slam her head back down.

"Heejin, I'm"—she moans—"about to"—she gags, a broken vibration around your cock, and she moans—"cum!"

Her gagging, however, only urges you more to fuck her throat with your cock. Heejin gags again, and her throat walls are clenching, and a whole bunch of spit comes out, drenching your balls. The last thing you feel before your mind fades is her final whine, lost to the whole of her universe. Your spasms return, your hips shake, and this time, you see her whole body tense up—finally you and Heejin cum together, with her dildo ramming her hole and your cock ramming her throat. She's squealing and squeaking while taking your cock down to her base again, her gagging more persistent. After all her fantasies, the real thing is so much hotter than your imagination, and your brain starts painting new pictures on instinct.

Pop.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit," she says.

Your cock twitches out spurts of your seed, coating her face. Her dildo has disappeared from her pussy.

"I'm, I'm sorry, about, um, being… a bit too rough," you say.

"Are you fucking stupid?" she asks. "Do you have, do you have any idea how fucking hard I came? God, and the cum you're firing in my throat, thank you, thank you, thank you. Your cum is what gives life purpose."

You grin. "I'm glad you think that way. My cum was only alive because of your pretty little mouth, though."

Heejin licks up every streak and spurt.

You lie back down on her bed next to her. "Hey, uh, you… still owe me though."

"True," she says. "What do you want? Another oral service tomorrow?"

"Can't tomorrow. It's already one in the morning."

"Ah, fuck. Morning."

"It's fine." Your voice is meek. "Let's not do anything. For a while."

"What?"

"This is fun. And I'm sure we could come up with a million ways to jerk each other off with our hands and mouths and words. But, you were thinking it too, right? When you had that, that dildo inside of you. Fucking you. I mean, I don't, I really don't wanna pressure you, but I thought it'd be fun. You know. If we just held off of anything, sex, cumming, masturbating, all of that, and we just… wait. How about until your birthday?"

"What?! That's like, twenty days away."

"Exactly, once in a while we could do other stuff. Wouldn't it be fun to just get edged every day until then, waiting, anticipating, and when we finally do fuck, it'll be the best sex of our lives, the perfect present. I mean, you got yourself off plenty of times already. I bet you could go without a nut for a while."

"Oh, no. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"And vice versa, I guess."

Heejin grumbles. "Fuck. Fine. Deal. But no matter how much I tempt you, no matter how much you tempt me, we're not going to cum. We're gonna edge each other. No matter how hard I suck. No matter how hard you thrust."

"Deal."

You shake hands.

"Um, by the way," she says.

"What?"

"You, um, you're a pervert."

You sigh. "I know."

"But you're, um, you're a pretty nice guy. And smart. And hot. Okay, that's enough for your ego, goddammit."

"Keep going, you're gonna make me cum."

Heejin grins. "Oh, that's all it'll take, huh?"

You kiss.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

You wake up on Saturday morning, having stayed the night at Heejin's place. The two of you have a breakfast of leftover ramyun, and you say goodbye at the door.

"Wait," she says. "Hold on. I forgot something."

You turn around. "What?"

Heejin kisses you. "Bye."

You return the kiss. "Bye."

You go home, and on Sunday, you wake up to a text from Heejin.

> morning. :)

You smile.

> Good morning.

You send her a picture of your cock, already hard in the morning. She sends a photo of her own pussy, spread open with her fingers. It's scintillating, dewy. Your cock twitches.

> morning wood?

> Yep.

> you know how bad i wanna suck that dick right now

> Yeah. I'm thinking about fucking your throat.

> godddddddd i love it when you say that shit

> Do you think you're gonna nut today?

> probably not. if i can't even last a weekend without cumming, i srsly need to reexamine my life

> lol. true. well, good luck.

> you too

You send a photo of your cock, with a drop of cum at your tip. It only took a token effort of stimulation to get a bead of pre-cum.

> wait were you fapping just now

> Yeah. Just a bit

> godddddd youre so bad

> Don't worry. I don't plan on cumming until it's inside you on your birthday :)

> fuck you

> I thought we were gonna save that for your birthday too :(

> shut up

You smile. 

> I miss you.

> me too

> Next week. We can meet up. See how we're feeling about this whole thing. Maybe get dinner or something.

> like a date?

> Well, no dating. Obviously. Ground rules and all.

> "k fine. sounds good

> See you then <3

> yeah yeah whatever <3

You laugh. This is going to be fun.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Happy birthday to the best girl! Once again, this falls under my time-honored tradition of incomplete-but-complete-enough stories to post for some deadline, so I'm not bothering with crossposting (okay fine I am just too lazy).

#kpop smut #reader insert #male reader #loona smut #artms smut

[yelena-bellova]

Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: Break My Heart

Plot: With Y/n and Jamie not speaking to one another, a trip to Manchester brings about opportunity and heartache.

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: f!reader, language, insinuated smut, mention of abusive parents

A/N: THIS is the chapter I’ve been looking forward to the most. Even though this isn’t the conclusion, I think it’s what the whole thing’s been building to. Well, this is part one of it, at least. I’m gonna shut up now and just let you read. Enjoy!!

—————

Sam Obisanya: Remember that movie we were looking forward to? It’s coming out on Friday. Want to catch it this weekend?

Colin Hughes: Haven’t seen you around lately. Everything alright?

Dani Rojas: We missed you at Isaac’s birthday dinner! Come visit us next time you are free!

Rebecca Welton: Your tea’s cold. Keeley’s confirmed you’re not dead. Several questions.

Ted Lasso: What’s shaking, Abe Lincoln? Don’t be a stranger next time you’re meeting with the boss.

There had been an onslaught of texts in the three weeks since Y/n had moved out of the Dogtrack. She hadn’t expected people to not notice she was gone, but she hadn’t thought so many of them would care.

She’d ignored every single one.

She wasn’t the only one who’d chosen to stick with Keeley. Barbara had stayed on as well. With Rebecca’s generous financing, the three of them were keeping their ship afloat all by themselves. Jack be damned.

True to her word, Y/n handled all Richmond business from afar, only popping in with Keeley for an occasional meeting with Rebecca and Higgins. She sorted press conferences and post-match interviews without ever stepping foot in the building. If it weren’t so unhealthy, it would have been impressive.

In her makeshift office, actually the conference room, Y/n paced around her computer. She eyed the screen each time she passed by. Roy had a presser scheduled for the afternoon. Sam and…another player were meant to join him. Sam she could handle seeing, though Lord knows she felt guilty for ghosting him. The other one…

“Oh,” Y/n waved herself off, feeling ridiculous. She was a grown woman. She could handle it, she thought, as she turned on the video feed.

Springing to life on her screen, Roy sat between Sam and Jamie, fielding questions.

Y/n’s insides locked up. Jamie.

They hadn’t spoken since the night he’d shown up at her apartment. Not a single text or run-in. It was no longer just Y/n avoiding him, Jamie was actively not speaking to her.

Y/n tried to focus on Sam’s answers, he spoke humbly about Richmond’s 15-game win streak. The last three had been unbelievable you-had-to-be-there kind of matches. Hiding in her apartment with a Sky Sports broadcast hadn’t compared to the real thing. Y/n missed the energy of the stadium and the joy of watching the boys.

Her eyes kept floating back to Jamie. He was hunched over the table, biting his nails, not making eye contact with anyone. He didn’t look like he wanted to be there at all.

Marcus Adebayo, though he answered to Roy’s nickname of ‘better Trent,’ stood and addressed Jamie. “On the heels of making your England debut, how does it feel to be named Premier League Player of the Month?”

“Eh, um, yeah. Yeah, it feels good, I guess,” Jamie answered hesitantly, “But it’s really the team making me look good. So, I should be doing a better job of making them look good, really.”

If Y/n had been in the room, Sam, Roy and her would have all shared the same puzzled look.

“So, yeah. Makes me feel bad,” Jamie finished with a pursed frown.

Roy leaned forward, “Uh, Jamie also led the league in assists this month so he’s done plenty to make his teammates look good.”

“Yeah, but they’re the ones who took all the shots,” Jamie corrected softly.

“He also scored a goal,” Sam interjected.

“T-that was meant to be a pass,” Jamie pointed out, his voice high with anxiety, “You shouldn’t count that. That goal is a lie. It should be retracted from the records.”

Y/n shook her head in confusion, whispering to the empty room, “What are you doing?”

“I apologize to everyone,” Jamie continued, “Especially to the kids.”

“Right, let’s call it there, everyone,” Roy decided at the exact second Y/n was internally stepping forward, “That was great. Thanks very much.”

Y/n stared at the screen, her gaze following Jamie until he was off camera. Whoever had been speaking wasn’t any variation of the Jamie Tartt she knew. He was so out of character it was concerning.

She glanced at her phone, the device silently begging her to type a message. Ask him. Talk to him. Find out what’s wrong. Help him.

Instead, Y/n took a deep breath, closed out the browser, opened her email and got back to work. No good could come from her reaching out. Jamie would be absolutely fine without her, better even. And she would be fine without him.

—————————

Y/n wasn’t a woman who ever thought a man’s presence added anything to a situation she couldn’t. But as she heaved the water jug onto the cooler, she wished that she hadn’t sent the delivery guy away under the assumption she could do it herself.

She returned to the main room to find Keeley in conversation with Roy, both of them turning to face her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Roy asked.

Y/n motioned to the space around them, “I work here.”

“No, you don’t,” he replied matter-of-factly, “You work at Richmond.”

“Y/n has been here the last few weeks,” Keeley answered, “Just to get things back up and running while we’re short staffed.”

Roy took deep pride in not interjecting himself into anyone else’s business. Sure, he’d helped Isaac through whatever the fuck had caused his meltdown last month. Yes, he offered Ted advice from time to time. But the other 99% of the time, he didn’t particularly care what choices the people around him made. Their lives were theirs and his was his.

But Jamie and Y/n were another fucking deal.

He wouldn’t have invited Y/n along to their 4AM training sessions if he hadn’t known she helped keep Jamie’s spirits up. He’d caught the two of them leaving the parking lot together more than a dozen times. He’d noticed Jamie be the first one on the pitch whenever Y/n was observing training and the first one off when she was waiting on him for lunch. He was well aware the two of them were attached at the fucking hip. Y/n’s disappearance had thrown everything off-balance. Maybe it wasn’t the reason for Jamie breaking down in Roy’s arms earlier, but it certainly couldn’t be helping.

“Oh,” Roy humored the answer, smiling at Y/n. “That’s very kind of her.”

Y/n grinned back nervously, Roy could see through everyone’s bullshit but his own.

“She could help too,” Keeley suggested.

“Help with what?” Y/n asked.

Keeley gestured to Roy for an explanation. “Jamie’s going through some shit. I asked Keeley to talk to him, but since you two are close, maybe you could too.”

Big fat flashing red sirens went off in Y/n’s head. “Oh, I really don’t think I’d help anything,” she struggled, “I-I think Keeley’s much more suited.”

“Not necessarily,” Keeley disagreed as Roy continued to stare Y/n down, “I mean, you two are really good friends.”

“We’re not that close,” Y/n lied, “I mean, we’ve hung out a couple of times but really,” she extended a hand toward her boss, “You definitely know him better.”

Unlike her ex, Keeley had no problem inserting herself in other people’s business. She hadn’t yet approached Y/n about the headlines she and Jamie had made after the England match or the fact that she didn’t want to go near Nelson Road. Since coming back from London, Y/n had pulled away from everyone and everything, Keeley included.

Roy was taking some sick joy in egging Y/n on, “Oh, no, I think-“

“I’ll take care of it,” Keeley jumped to say, ending whatever confrontation was about to take place. “Promise.”

Y/n and Roy held eye contact, challenging one another to break first. Eventually, Roy’s desire to look at Keeley won out and he turned away.

“Thanks,” he glanced back over at Y/n, “I’ll leave you two to your work.”

Stealing one more fleeting gaze at his ex-girlfriend, Roy left the way he’d come, leaving Y/n with a whole new bunch of unresolved feelings.

“He’s quite handsome.”

Y/n startled, she hadn’t even realized Barbara was seated at her desk for the whole exchange. She headed for the conference room, eager to get away from every part of the conversation.

Keeley hung back a moment before following her and gently knocking on the door. “Hi,” she entered slowly, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Y/n answered with faux cheeriness, seated once more at her desk/table, “Fine.”

“It’s just back there…you seemed a bit on edge when Roy mentioned Jamie,” Keeley broached the topic with care.

Y/n’s muscles involuntarily clenched, she tried to keep an even expression. “No, I’m fine.”

Keeley hesitated, nearly turning around and leaving before deciding to just go for it. “You know, if this is about the pictures of you two, I don’t think anyone thinks-“

Y/n sighed, “Keeley, I’m fine. I just think Roy should do his fucking job and take care of his players instead of pawning them off on one of us.”

“I’m not talking about Roy,” Keeley replied, “I’m talking about-“

“Jamie and I are not close,” Y/n said, her tone harsher than intended, “We are not friends. There’s nothing wrong with him, we’re just not as chummy as everyone seems to think we are. End of story.”

Keeley knew Y/n’s edges were sharp, but she hadn’t ever seen her snap so quickly. It only told her there was more to the issue than she’d guessed.

“Got it,” she gave a single nod, “I’m sorry I asked.”

Y/n regretted her words the moment she’d said them. Keeley hadn’t deserved her misplaced frustration. But the mere mention of that night triggered Y/n’s fight-or-flight response. Mixed with the knowledge that something was wrong with Jamie and that Roy clearly knew something, it was all too much.

She stared out the conference room window, landing on Keeley and Barbara’s desks they’d pushed together. She could have been with them, working together as a team. Instead, she was hiding away, once again deciding that the isolation could keep her safe from everything.

Everything except the gnawing fear that she was responsible for Jamie’s behavior.

—————————

Finally, the long awaited weekend arrived.

Man City versus Richmond.

Y/n left no stone unturned when searching for a new excuse not to attend the match. She’d had her period the first week of her three week absence, sick and exhausted the next two. If she’d had any family in the country, there would have been some fake emergency involving them.

She knew she couldn’t get away with a full month’s nonattendance. She had to go to Manchester.

Packing an overnight bag at 6AM and getting on the road by 7 had been her self-ruled terms. The last thing Y/n wanted was to be stuffed on a bus with everyone she was trying to avoid for four hours. Driving herself allowed not only space, but an escape route, if she needed it.

She was barely out of London when Keeley rang her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” the Bluetooth speakers of the car projected Keeley’s voice, “We’re loading the bus up. Just wanted to see where you were.”

Y/n sighed, she’d forgotten to tell someone she wasn’t coming with the team. “Actually, I’m already on the road. I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d get an early start.”

“Oh,” Keeley sounded a bit disappointed, but not entirely surprised, “That makes sense. Smart choice.”

“Yeah,” Y/n replied, feeling the familiar burn in her gut that came with each lie she told, “I’m a bit ahead of you guys so I’ll see you when you get there.”

“Alright. Drive safe, yeah?”

“You too,” she said before disconnecting the call.

Y/n tried to listen to music, tried to play a podcast, but she found that anything other than silence just didn’t feel right. Every song seemed to trace back to her situation and every spoken word seemed to be speaking directly to her, telling her everything she was doing was wrong.

The silence was no more comforting, it only gave her more room to ruminate about the weekend. How was she supposed to avoid Jamie in such close quarters? How was she supposed to keep away from Ted, Rebecca, Keeley, the rest of the team? It felt like a mistake to come and an equally massive one to stay behind.

A long four hours later, Y/n pulled up to the Hacienda Hotel. The Greyhound bus had yet to arrive. She actually stood a chance at getting up to her room and dodging company till the match.

Y/n gave her car to the valet and dragged her single suitcase through the lobby. She headed straight for the front desk.

“Hi,” she greeted the concierge, “I have a reservation under Y/l/n.”

“Let me just check,” the man replied, typing the last name into his computer. He frowned, “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t seem to have that reservation.”

“No, that can’t be right,” Y/n calmly replied, “I called yesterday about transferring one room under the Richmond block to my name.”

The man scrolled through his list a second time, “Unfortunately, that request doesn’t seem to have been entered into our system. All the Richmond rooms are reserved under the name ‘Lasso.’”

Y/n sighed, she’d gone to extreme lengths to separate herself before even stepping foot in the city. So much so that she’d been willing to pay her own overpriced hotel rate.

“Fine,” she relented, “It doesn’t matter. Checking in to one room under the name ‘Lasso.’”

“Unfortunately, ma’am,” the employee grimaced, “Under hotel policy, we can’t check in individual guests if the reservation is under a different name. You’ll have to wait until the main guest has arrived.”

Y/n’s plan crumbled further, Ted had to check her in? Worse, she’d have to wait with the whole fucking team?

Just as she’d connected the dots, the hiss of a Coach could be heard outside. Y/n whipped her head around to see the AFC Richmond logo and the moving silhouettes of the boys through the dark windows.

“There,” Y/n pointed to the bus, “The main guest’s there. Check me in.”

The man hesitated, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I have to wait to confirm-“

“How many people named ‘Lasso’ do you think there are in this country?” Y/n whispered in a panic, “He’s right in there, he’s making shitty puns,” her hand bounced against the desk, “Check me in.”

Arguing would have been hard considering Ted was an anomaly in England. The concierge conceded to Y/n’s demand and began the process.

Y/n nervously drummed her fingers against the counter, glancing back to see Will emerging from the bus. Behind him were Isaac, Richard and Jan.

“You’ll be in room #601, ma’am,” the concierge reported and handed her a room key.

Y/n yanked the card out of his palm before he could tell her the bellboy would be happy to take her suitcase. “Thank you.”

She hurried across the lobby to the elevator, praying she could make a getaway without anyone see-

“Hey, Y/n!”

She stopped in her tracks, so close…

Y/n turned around and spotted Ted, hurrying across the lobby as one would after a long drive. She managed a smile and a wave, pressing the elevator’s button repeatedly with her other hand.

“Don’t forget,” Ted called as he made a beeline for the bathrooms. “Team movie, 7:30. I’ll give ya a hint; if you love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, you ain’t gonna wanna miss this one!”

In three weeks, Y/n had dodged a lot of invitations. A lot. Another declination and she was convinced she’d develop an ulcer.

“Sounds good,” she shouted just as the elevator doors opened. She jumped inside and pressed her floor number before anyone else spot her.

Just before the doors closed, she caught the first of the boys entering the lobby. Just past Sam, Y/n glimpsed the sharp edges of Jamie’s face. Her heart caught in her throat, the mere sight of him was enough to startle her.

She wondered how long she could pretend everything was fine before she proved herself wrong.

—————————

Y/n hid in her room the rest of the day. She didn’t dare leave to get ice or see the city, sure that with her luck, she’d run into someone the second she stepped out.

Half-way through the afternoon, a knock at the door surprised her. She peeked through the peephole to see Keeley. Out of anyone, she was the one that Y/n couldn’t totally avoid.

The door swung open and Y/n put on a smile, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Keeley greeted, “You beat us here.”

“Yeah,” Y/n chuckled, “Trust me, I’d have rather gotten the sleep.”

“Right,” Keeley chortled, “Can I come in?”

Y/n opened the door wider and allowed it. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to steal your pillow chocolates,” her boss cheekily smirked but didn’t move to grab the candy.“And…to ask if you might reconsider talking to Jamie?”

“Keeley,” Y/n sighed in frustration, rubbing at her face, “I told you-“

“I know,” Keeley held up her hands, “But I just talked to him and…he’s really in his head. It’s bad, Y/n. I’ve never seen him like this.”

While she could pretend all she wanted that Jamie meant little to her, Y/n was growing more and more worried. Every one of his dreams were coming true, and the ones that hadn’t were on the horizon. He should have been on top of the world and instead, he was spiraling. She wanted nothing more than to bang on his door, wrap him in her arms and fix it all. Put him back together until he was his glorious self.

“Look,” Y/n pushed on one of her eyes, “Keeley, whatever you think I’m capable of doing for Jamie, I’m not. I’m not a footballer, I’m not his coach, I’m not his girlfriend,” she found the last words uncomfortably difficult to get out, “I’m half his publicity team. That’s it.”

“You’re more than that,” Keeley replied, she had the kindest way of arguing. “You two have been glued to each other’s sides since you got to Richmond. Jamie trusts you. If you just talk to him-“

Y/n pressed her hands against her lips as Keeley spoke. The panic was beginning to swirl inside her again.

“Keeley,” she cut her off and enunciated her words, “I can’t help him.”

After a whole season of working together, Keeley could easily tell when Y/n was lying, both to others and herself. She didn’t need to know what her and Jamie meant to one another, all that mattered was they did. If Y/n wasn’t ready to acknowledge it, there wasn’t anything Keeley could do.

“Okay,” she replied, once again resigned in her failed quest, “I’ll leave you be.”

Y/n didn’t move as Keeley’s furry jacket brushed past her, shutting her eyes to hide the tears. Only when she was alone once more did she let them streak her cheeks. Somewhere down the hall, Jamie was hurting, and that meant she was hurting as well.

—————————

At exactly 7:30, Y/n made her way down the hotel hall. Different conference rooms lined the walls and she followed their numbers till she found the one Ted had texted her. She slipped through the back door, the lights were dimmed and everyone had already taken their seats. Her version of perfect timing.

From her vantage point, Y/n had a perfect layout of the seating arrangement. The team were gathered in the first few rows. Keeley and Roy were at one end of the back row, with Ted, Beard, Rebecca and Higgins following. Y/n couldn’t help but let her eyes run over the players’ heads, spotting Jamie’s mop of hair in the front row.

After evaluating her options, Y/n chose the safest one at the nearest end of the back row, next to Trent Crimm.

“Just in time,” he whispered as she took the seat beside him.

“Yeah,” she replied, “Got lost.”

Trent nodded, waiting a few seconds before speaking up again, “You know, I’m sure anyone would be happy to switch. In case you wanted to sit with your friends.”

Y/n peered over at Trent, whose eyes gleamed suspiciously with knowledge.

“I’m fine,” she readjusted in her chair to prove the point.

Trent nodded, trying and failing not to smirk, “I’m honored to rank so high on your priority list.”

Y/n’s glance turned into a stare, the former journalist was smiling as if she were made of glass. Were her actions so obvious that even he had noticed?

Trent settled back into his chair, shifting his attention to the opening credits. Y/n did the same and focused just as the main title popped up.

You’ve Got Mail.

She groaned internally, if the universe was out to get her, choosing one of the most romantic comedies of all time was the greatest insult it could hurl.

For an hour and fifty-nine minutes, Y/n squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. She couldn’t go more than thirty seconds without sneaking a peek at Jamie, who hadn’t moved at all since the start. He was a fidgeting mess every waking minute of the day. Something was terribly off.

After Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks kissed in the New York garden and his golden retriever leaped to embrace them, the lights came back on. Y/n distractedly clapped along with the rest of the room, already eyeing her exit.

“All right. Listen up, you big softies,” Ted announced, “10PM, lights out. Then get yourselves some beauty sleep for tomorrow’s big meet-cute with Man City. You hear? Alright, Ephron on three. One, two, three-“

A few people, Beard being the loudest, chanted the filmmaker’s name.

“Lovely to see you again,” Trent said, a tease to his tone, as Y/n got up and out of her seat.

She hesitated, catching his knowing expression once more, and debated saying something. She decided it wasted energy and turned on her heel, making it only two steps before Keeley grabbed hold of her arm.

“Come on,” she ordered, pulling Y/n behind her.

“What?” Y/n asked, “Where the-“

Keeley didn’t answer, tugging her across the room towards the door Roy was holding open.

“Keeley, what-“

“Shh,” Keeley hushed, finally letting go of Y/n’s arm.

Y/n followed alongside her boss and Roy, unsure of where they were leading her. When they got to the lobby and she caught Jamie’s silhouette ahead of them, she came to a halt.

“No.”

“Y/n-“ Keeley began.

“No,” Y/n slashed a hand through the air, “I told you no.”

“Fuck your no,” Roy snapped, “I don’t care what the fuck’s going on wth you two, but your job is to make the club look good,” Roy pointed to Jamie’s fleeting figure, “And he makes us look good. So you’re gonna do your fucking job and you’re gonna help us fucking fix this.”

Y/n chuckled with deep annoyance, “You know what? Fuck you, Kent. I’m not one of your footballers you can boss around any time you’re in a shit mood,” she stuck a finger out at Roy, “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“Oi!” Keeley exclaimed, her heels slapping against the floor as she marched back, “Both of you, stop it. Come on!”

Roy and Y/n broke their stare, Jamie was rounding the corner and heading out the hotel’s doors. Sparing each other one more hardened glare, they followed Keeley.

The three of them exited the hotel, Keeley spotting Jamie passing the Richmond bus, and they traced his path. Against all she told herself, Y/n went on her own free will, chasing him through the Manchester evening.

Keeley’s stalking technique involved scurrying behind cars and lampposts, while Y/n clung to building walls. Ever the least subtle of any group, Roy simply walked the street, not using much caution to mask his presence.

They followed Jamie through neighborhoods and into the inner part of the city. They crossed bridges, climbed stairs and finally ended up on one side of a florescent lit tunnel. On their descent down the steps, they lost sight of him.

“The fuck is he?” Roy asked.

“I don’t know,” Keeley answered, “You’ve lost him.”

Roy glanced around them, “You said he went down here.”

“I did not,” Keeley argued, “You said that.”

“No, I said he’s in a tunnel,” Roy corrected as the three of them marched down the way, “I didn’t say he was in this tunnel. She’s the one who thought it was this one.”

“He did come down this one,” Y/n said sternly.

“Well, there’s no other tunnel, is there?” Keeley reprimanded them, “I don’t believe it. You’ve lost Jamie Tartt.”

“We didn’t lose him,” Y/n argued, silently worried. The second she’d lost eyes on Jamie was the second their surroundings suddenly became unsettling.

“You can’t lose Jamie Tartt,” Roy replied.

“Well, you have,” Keeley fired back.

“OI!”

Roy, Keeley and Y/n jumped at the exclaim, spinning around and shouting various expletives.

“Fucking hell!”

“What the fuck?!”

Jamie stood, hood over his head and hands in his pockets. “Why are you following me?”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you prick,” Roy spoke kind words with contrasting anger.

“What’s going on, Jamie?” Keeley asked, “Are you buying drugs?”

Jamie’s confused stare turned to Y/n, he locked up. The three weeks of not seeing her made her sudden presence feel like a hallucination.

Any face Y/n had been wearing dropped the second her eyes met Jamie’s. This was the closest they’d been since that night outside her apartment.

They came back to themselves quickly, hiding whatever they were feeling for the sake of Keeley and Roy being present.

Jamie nodded towards the path ahead of them, “Come on.”

Roy, Keeley and Y/n followed without question as Jamie guided them through the tunnel. It led up to a crowded neighborhood, a council estate that looked like it had seen better days.

Y/n made an effort to follow Roy, keeping as much distance as she could between her and Jamie. Her presence would probably mess with his head even more so than her absence might have. She was starting to wonder if the choice to come had been a selfish one.

They passed a group of kids kicking a football against a brick wall.

“Oi,” one of them called, “Are you Jamie Tartt?”

Jamie pushed back his hood, “Yeah.”

“More like Jamie Fart,” the youngest taunted.

“Screw you, dickhead,” the tallest one shouted, “Prick!”

“Yeah, who are you?”

“City’s gonna fuck you up tomorrow!”

Through the haranguing of insults, Jamie smiled, glancing over to Keeley, and sneaking one at Y/n. He led them away towards the row of houses.

Roy stuck around, turning to stare down the kids, who’d gone dead silent. Y/n readied herself to drag Roy away kicking and screaming from unloading on them.

Instead, he held up his hands in an ‘ok’ sign, “Good lads.”

While the kids were clearly thrilled at having been complimented by the Roy Kent, Y/n slapped his arm as hard as she could. Roy grasped it and silently protested before Y/n pointed to where Jamie and Keeley had gone off to.

They arrived on the doorsteps of one of the houses. Jamie rang the doorbell and they waited till a pair of eyes popped through one of the door’s glass bits.

“Hey,” the man exclaimed before opening the door, greeting them with a wide grin, “Jamie!”

“How you doing, Simon?” Jamie smiled and pointed to the group, “This is Keeley, that’s Roy, and that’s Y/n.”

“Come on in, come on in,” Simon waved them into the home.

Jamie entered first, shaking Simon’s hand, “How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man.”

“Yeah, great,” Simon replied as he ushered his guests in.

Keeley, Roy and Y/n all gave various greetings as they crossed the threshold. None of them knew quite where they were.

“Georgie,” Simon called up the stairs, “We’ve got visitors!”

A female voice called back down, “What was that, love? Someone at the door?”

Jamie made a beeline for the bottom of the staircase, just as a woman stopped at the top, frozen by what lay in front of her.

“Hello, Mommy.”

Y/n’s eyes widened.

Georgie screamed as she ran down the steps, leaping into her son’s arms. “Jamie!”

“Mommy, I’d like to introduce you to Keeley,” Jamie turned to face his friends, “And this hairy prick’s Roy,” his smile dropped an imperceptible inch, “And that’s Y/n over there.”

“Hi,” Keeley greeted in her normal bubbly tone.

“Hi,” Y/n managed to eek out, holding up a nervous hand.

“Hey, you,” Roy said smoothly.

“Hi,” Georgie greeted them all while hugging Jamie once more, “It’s lovely to finally meet you all. I’d come and give you a hug,” she squeezed the sides of her son’s face, “But I’m not letting go of this one!”

Jamie lifted his mom into the air and spun her around.

“There they go,” Simon observed, “Right, who wants some sweet treats?”

Simon slipped off deeper into the house while Georgie and Jamie stayed in their embrace.

“Look at your gorgeous face,” she exclaimed as Jamie carried them both down the hallway, “I love it. How have you been? Look at you.”

Run. All of Y/n’s instincts told her to run right back out that door and take her chances with being abducted in the sketchy tunnel. Roy and Keeley must have sensed her unease because Keeley reached back for Y/n’s hand and Roy kept behind her, forcing her inside.

Georgie and Jamie had managed to separate long enough for Jamie to snuggle up against his mom on the living room couch. Keeley, Y/n and Roy stood at the entrance to the room, unsure of where to go.

“Oh, come and sit down,” Georgie gestured to the rest of the room.

Keeley and Roy entered less hesitatingly than Y/n, who took up a seat on the arm of the couch. To say she was uncomfortable was an understatement of epic proportions. Here she’d gone to every effort to avoid Jamie, and she’d ended up in what was clearly his childhood home with his mother.

She glanced over at the shrine to Jamie on the far wall, various pictures of him from different stages of life proudly displayed. Baby pictures all the way to league headshots. Y/n wanted to evaporate into thin air.

Simon popped back into the room with a plate of baked goods, dishing one out to each of his guests as Georgie and Jamie talked.

“It was just poopy,” Jamie quietly vented to his mom, his thick accent changing the word entirely, “You know, it really upset me. This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I’m like, ‘It’s fucking walnut mist, mate.’”

Y/n nearly spit out the bite of scone she was chewing. If this whole debacle was about his vanity, she’d march out the door. They’d argued several times over the exact shade of the highlights.

“Yeah, obviously,” Georgie agreed, stroking her son’s hair, “He’s done a lovely job, it’s dead natural.”

Simon finished pouring the tea, looking up expectantly at the party. “What do you think?”

Keeley smiled, “It’s really yummy.”

“Yeah, it’s wonderful,” Y/n managed to find her voice.

Keeley elbowed Roy, who was lost staring at the sight of his former nemesis cuddled up with his mother like a lost child. “It’s fucking delicious,” he said distractedly before returning.

“Well, it’s a Paul Hollywood recipe, but I’ve gone a little bit rogue on it,” Simon explained.

Allowing herself to slip back into a world where Jamie was damn near the center, Y/n wondered who Simon was. He clearly wasn’t Jamie’s biological father, he was the complete antithesis of the man she’d heard horror stories about. Jamie had never mentioned having a step-dad.

“Babes,” Georgie said softly, “Do you wanna give Roy, Keeley and Y/n the grand tour? Show them around a bit?”

“Yes,” Simon agreed, catching the signals his wife was throwing at him. “Good idea. Thank—“ he stood and hit his head on the overhead light, “Oops! Right, follow me. We will start in the kitchen, aka my laboratory.”

Y/n was the first to stand, but fell behind Keeley, making her a buffer. When Roy hesitated to leave, she tugged him harshly out the room.

“Fuckin’ grip you’ve got,” he complained as they walked to the kitchen.

“Oh, bite me,” Y/n retorted. Keeley had good intentions, but she was ready to kick Roy for dragging her into this.

Simon took them on a full tour of the house, showcasing his kitchen and its appliances off as if they were his most prized possessions. All along the walls of the house were pictures of him and Georgie on various trips and holidays. Scattered between them were childhood pictures of Jamie.

Eventually, Simon led them up the stairs and down a short hall. “And here is the main attraction,” he announced, opening a door and flipping on a light, “Jamie’s room.”

“Oh, sweet Lord,” Y/n muttered under her breath. This was way too deep in.

The room seemed untouched since the day Jamie had left it. Both childhood toys and teen paraphernalia were stacked on shelves and dressers. The bedding had a football pattern to it and there were various trophies for the sport nearby. On the walls, there were school certificates and diplomas and-

“Fucking hell.”

Y/n turned to see a poster of Roy, sporting a Chelsea kit and a very shaggy haircut tacked to Jamie’s wall.

“Ah, yes,” Simon looked to the footballer, “Many posters have come and gone over the years. Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo…but Roy Kent, always remains.”

Y/n slapped a hand over her mouth and snorted, ignoring the daggers Roy was sending her way.

An phone alarm went off and Simon pulled the device out of his pocket. “Oh! Meat pies are done,” he said, “Excuse me.”

As he shut the door, another poster was revealed. This one of Keeley during her more risqué modeling days, holding two footballs against her breasts.

“Fucking hell,” she grunted.

“Yep, no, can’t do it,” Y/n finally found her voice and the doorknob. She wasn’t sure she could spend another second in Jamieland without her head exploding. “Simon!”

Their friendly host had barely made it down one of the stairs, “Yeah?”

“Let me help you with the pies,” Y/n jogged down the hall.

“Oh, no, you go ahead and look around,” he said kindly.

“No, really,” Y/n followed him down the staircase, “You’re kind enough to deal with three strangers barging into your house. It’s the least I can do.”

Simon scoffed lightheartedly as he led them into the kitchen, “No friend of Jamie’s is a stranger in this house,” he slipped on a pair of oven mitts, “Right, if you want to place these on the cooling rack.”

Simon pulled out the tray of pies and set them on the stove. Y/n went about setting them on the racks, wondering if she’d made the better choice. Now, instead of sitting in Jamie’s bedroom, she was cooking with his step-dad.

“So,” Simon spoke as he moved about the kitchen, “I can gather what brought Jamie here, but what made you three tag along?”

“Oh,” Y/n searched for an explanation, “He’s been a bit…off…lately and we were just worried about him.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” he replied, “Coming home’s a big deal, especially in this case.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, “How do you figure?”

“Well, if you were playing against your hometown in your hometown,” Simon wiped his hands on his apron, “Might stir up some feelings.”

Said out in the open, it all sounded so obvious. Of course Jamie was struggling with playing Man City. Not only that, he hadn’t spoken to his dad in ages and it was almost guaranteed the bastard would show up to cheer against his own son.

Y/n sighed, she felt like an idiot.

“Speaking of home,” Simon broke her out of her head, “Your accent doesn’t suggest you’re from around here.”

“No,” Y/n returned to their conversation, “I, uh, moved here for school and never left.”

“Oh, fascinating. What made you stay?”

Y/n shrugged and placed the last of the pies on the cooling rack. “I was just settled and didn’t want to leave.”

“That must’ve been awful for your parents,” Simon said, “When Jamie moved to London, Georgie was devastated, and that’s only a half day’s drive. I can’t imagine a whole ocean’s worth of distance.”

If Y/n thought the night couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, the mention of her parents proved her wrong. Between the location, a vulnerable Jamie in the next room, and her family being brought up, she thought she might burst into tears.

“They’re okay with it,” she answered.

“Gosh,” Simon commented, stood at the island, “That can’t be true.”

“It is,” Y/n replied quickly and spun around, attempting a smile, “But I’ve got a lovely life here.”

“Of course,” he grinned, “Working for a football club’s got to be exciting. Jamie’s mentioned you plenty.”

Y/n wasn’t moving, but she could feel everything inside her stop. “Jamie’s…mentioned me?”

“Loads,” Simon nodded, “He calls round every once in a while. Obviously he keeps busy, but the name Y/n has come up nearly every conversation. I thought I might break into hives when Georgie told me about the Christmas dinner you two cooked.”

Simon began to recount all the memories shared between Jamie and Y/n that he and Georgie had become privy to. It wasn’t just the more notable moments like their chaotic Christmas or helping Y/n move to Richmond, but the little ones too. Sneaking into the stadium for lunch breaks in the seats. Post-match interviews Y/n oversaw and how Jamie would try and make her laugh with his answers. Y/n making Jamie decorate his house because the bareness of it drove her crazy. Jamie showing up on Y/n’s doorstep on her birthday right at midnight. Trying to learn how to cook together after the disastrous Christmas dinner and kind of, almost, sort of succeeding. Picking one another’s songs at team karaoke nights. Conversations in the hallways of Nelson Road. Movies and shows suggested to one another and the reactions that followed.

The whole of Jamie and Y/n’s relationship was played back for her in his parent’s kitchen.

She was speechless.

“I, uh,” she managed, her eyes beginning to glisten, “I didn’t know Jamie talked that much about his friends.”

“His friends?” Simon looked to Y/n before ducking his eyes away when he saw she was serious, “Oh, yes…his friends.”

The small slip was enough to confirm what Y/n already suspected.

“Um,” she said, her throat suddenly thick, “It’s getting late. Would you mimd telling Roy and Keeley I took a cab back to the hotel?”

“Of course,” Simon smiled, “Can I send you home with a pie?”

“Oh, no, that’s alright,” Y/n was already crossing the kitchen, “But thank you so much for the scones. Please tell Georgie thank you for letting us interrupt your night.”

Simon waved her off, “Nonsense. Get back safe.”

Y/n speed walked down the hall, not sparing so much as a glance in the living room’s direction. She threw the front door open and hurried down the way. With shaking hands, she pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber.

Her breath came in quick puffs, the anxiety creating quite a home in her chest. She was on the verge of having the worst anxiety attack of her life, all because she’d come to the conclusion that she was cared for. No, this wasn’t care. This was something else entirely.

Little did she know, the second he’d heard her brush through the hall, Jamie was on high alert. He’d looked up from his mom, jumping to a seated position as the door slammed shut.

“Was that Y/n?” He asked Simon as he passed by the living room.

“Yes, she said she had to get back to the hotel,” Simon answered, grabbing the plate of half eaten scones from the coffee table.

Jamie was up and off the couch in an instant, hurrying down the hall and out the front door. Y/n was stood on the sidewalk, her hand pressed to her chest as if she was on the verge of collapsing.

“Hey.”

Y/n’s head whipped around, Jamie was jogging down the steps to her. He kept a fair bit of distance between them at first, unsure of how she felt about his presence. All she could do was attempt another breath.

“Hey,” Jamie crossed the space, deciding to reach for Y/n’s arms, “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head and avoided meeting Jamie’s concerned eyes.

“No, what’s wrong?” Jamie’s thumbs stroked over her sweater.

For all her fight, Y/n couldn’t bring herself to battle the warm grip Jamie had on her. She’d missed it.

“I’m fine, Jamie,” she lied once more, “I just want to go back to the hotel.”

Jamie scanned her face, finding the tears in her red eyes before she could hide them. Just as much as there was something wrong with him, there was something eating away at Y/n.

In the three weeks they’d stayed away from one another, Jamie had found life to be unbearable. The anxiety about playing Man City and the possibility of seeing his father once more had manifested in his playing. He’d struggled through training more and more, slowly becoming paralyzed by the lack of his usual fire. Without Y/n there to go and vent all his fears to, someone who understood without him ever having to explain a thing, it had all snowballed. Breaking down in the boot room and sobbing into Roy’s shoulder could have been avoided. His panic attack when Keeley had come to his room to check on him would have never happened.

But it wasn’t just that. Jamie found himself missing Y/n in the dullest of moments. Making dinner for himself, searching for something on television, driving home from work. Sleep was nearly impossible now that he’d gotten to fade out with her in his arms. The vacancy she’d left in his life was overwhelming. Jamie had never wanted to share such insignificant moments with someone in his life. He’d never felt as unsettled without someone.

This wasn’t some infatuation. He couldn’t live without her.

“Look,” Jamie tilted her head up, her eyes finally meeting his, “I know everything’s wrecked a-and we fucked it all up but…” his breath came out trembling, “But I love you.”

Y/n cries began to shake her chest.

“And I know this is the worst fucking time to say it,” Jamie bit back a laugh, but he felt ten tons lighter with the words finally spoken, “But I don’t regret what happened. If I could go back and do it a hundred times over, I would.”

A single cry escaped Y/n.

“And I need you,” Jamie spoke urgently, dragging a hand to Y/n’s cheek, brushing a thumb over the wet skin, “I need you with me ‘cause I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ without you. I don’t. You’ve fucking ruined me.”

Y/n was caught somewhere between a frown and a smile. Her worst fear and her greatest wish.

“Don’t leave, please,” Jamie pleaded, slipping his free hand around Y/n’s waist when she didn’t recoil at his touch. “I wanna be with you.”

Y/n’s sobs caused her whole body to shudder, which only made Jamie to pull her closer. She ended up enveloped in his arms, the only place she’d truly desired to be since the moment she’d left them.

Jamie pressed a kiss to Y/n’s forehead, trying to ease whatever pain and pour out his sentiments. The relief of holding her again was all-consuming and he reveled in it.

For a moment, they both realized what they could have. They could put the whole horrid separation behind them and let themselves be happy. They could come home to one another. They could hold nothing back from each other. They could build a life together and give each other all the love they’d ever been deprived of.

Where Jamie felt hope, cradling the girl he loved, Y/n felt panic, fearing the risk more than the loss.

“Jamie,” she whispered, “No.”

Jamie pulled back, fearfully gazing into her bloodshot eyes. “What do you mean?”

“No,” Y/n repeated, “We can’t.”

“Wh-“ he stammered, she was slipping away from him, “What are you talking about? We can.”

Y/n whined, “I can’t, Jamie. I can’t.”

“You can, you can,” Jamie insisted, holding Y/n’s cheek with purpose. He caught the headlights of the Uber coming down his street, “Why? Why can’t we have this?”

“Tell me,” Jamie softly begged, “Tell me why. Why can’t we have this?”

Finally, Y/n’s emotions burst, everything flooding out in a mess of terror.

“Because I don’t want this,” she exclaimed tearfully, “I don’t want this, Jamie. I don’t want y-“

She caught herself before she could finish it, but it was still too late. The damage had been done, and the wreckage spread across Jamie’s face. His lips parted in shock and his touch lost its urgency.

In her blind panic, Y/n hadn’t expected such a lie to come out of her mouth. But there was no taking it back, and the fear of all Jamie was ready to give was possessing her. This was the only way to keep herself safe.

Behind them, the Uber driver had pulled up to the house. “Oi, one of you Y/n?”

Y/n blinked up at Jamie, who was searching her eyes for the dishonesty in what she’d said. He found it so easily, but her determination to run was visibly clearer.

“Please let me go,” Y/n asked, her voice barely audible. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes as she spoke.

Jamie knew there was no more fight to give. He’d poured the contents of his heart out to her fruitlessly. He couldn’t force her to face the truth, that she might love him back, or that she even cared that he loved her. He was out of plays to make, all he could do was let her walk away.

He dropped his hands as slow as he could, savoring the last feel of her he’d get. Y/n trembled as his fingers left her face, committing his touch to her memory. This was the end before they even reached the beginning.

“In or out, love,” the driver interrupted.

Summoning the last of her strength, Y/n sought out Jamie’s eyes, glistening with tears now. She’d dealt the ultimate blow to an already wounded soldier. Slowly, she backed away from him, fighting every urge to run back into his arms and take it all back. If he took one step towards her, she knew she’d do it.

Jamie obeyed her wishes and didn’t move.

With one final gaze, Y/n turned away, climbing into the backseat of the Uber. He didn’t wait to drive, pulling the car away from as soon as she’d shut the door.

Y/n watched Jamie in the rear view mirror before it became too much. She dissolved to silent wracking sobs, caving in on herself. Not only had she walked away from the man she knew she surely loved, but she’d broken his heart doing so. The self-destruction was no longer only affecting her, she was destroying those around her.

Jamie wiped a shaking hand over his face as he watched the car carry Y/n away. He struggled to comprehend all that had just happened. He’d lost her.

Somehow, he carried himself back inside. He shuffled robotically back into the living room. His mum and Simon were seated on the couch, speaking in hushed tones.

Georgie looked expectantly to her son. Jamie had never needed to talk about him and Y/n in so many words. She knew exactly what he felt. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Jamie stared ahead at the carpet.

“Did you talk to her?” Georgie asked, asking something far deeper.

Jamie nodded.

“Does she feel the same?”

There was the true answer, and there was the easy answer. Jamie chose the latter.

“No.”

——————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars @im-a-weirdo-for-life @mindless-rock (tags cont. in comments ❤️)

#ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #ted lasso imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #keeley jones x reader #roy kent x reader #heartfirst

[bimobuddy]

Learning to Trust

SFW Hazbin TK fic

Alright people hear me out with this one

Major Spoilers

CW: Brief mention of anxiety disorders, swearing

Lee!Vox, Ler!Alastor

It's kind of a ship? The Aromantic 'Squish' equivalent of a ship. Well not yet anyway, they're still rivals in this, but I might make a part 2 that explores that a little more

It was gonna be Valentino and Vox, but I'm mad at Val so he got his boyfriend privileges taken away >:(

This might get kinda angsty, sorry in advance

Summary: Vox is glitching out and having connection issues, so he bites the bullet and asks help from the only other demon who can help him. Unfortunately with that demon being Alastor, they run into some issues.

It had started happening after the battle between the exterminators and the sinners. The War between Heaven and Hell. Vox had been watching it all happen on his TV, mostly keeping an eye on Alastor. Originally the plan was to watch by himself, but Velvet insisted they all watch together, and he couldn't really think of a good enough lie to tell her no, so he gave in.

He had spent the whole night playing up how much he hated Alastor, which is easy when your entire life and afterlife, you've been a TV Show Host. Many years of acting. At one point he even hoped if he got too obnoxious, the other two might leave, but used to his antics, they stayed.

But inside he was immensely stressed out. Yes he and Alastor were rivals, but there was something about the rivalry he needed. Something about it he liked. He couldn't really explain it himself, and he preferred not to think about it, preferring to tell himself that he just enjoyed hating the Radio Host.

So when he watched Alastor almost get killed by Adam, seeing him actually vulnerable for once... It scared him.

Then started the glitching. He knew it was from stress, the feeling was very familiar to when he was a human with an anxiety disorder. Only instead of a racing heart and suddenly feeling faint and warm, his anxiety came in the form of glitching, as his mind couldn't process everything, and showed it visibly on his screen.

He had tried for hours to make it stop, to try and fix it himself, but he couldn't see the mirror properly through all the glitching. That and the glitching made it hard to think.

He considered going to Velvet, but despite her phone and social media use, she didn't actually know anything about the tech itself. There was one more option, but he really didn't want to even consider it.

Though as he started to glitch out again, he decided to just bite the bullet.

-

Vox found himself scaling up the side of the Hotel, climbing toward Alastor's radio tower.

He'd rather fall to his death than use the doors and ask to see him. As he reached the top, he frantically tapped on the window, feeling another glitch about to happen.

Nothing.

He started tapping again, even faster this time.

Still nothing.

He made a fist and drew his arm back to just break the window in-

*click*

"Well this is quite the predicament." Alastor said, leaning over the windowsill. "Shut up asshole, just let me in." Vox grumbled. Alastor's grin seemed to widen. "And why shouldn't I just give you a little nudge?" The radio host questioned, placing his cane lightly against Vox's screen.

Vox couldn't help but notice that his cane had been seemingly glued back together and.. bandaged up? He didn't have time to think about that. "I uh.." He trailed off, only for Alastor to push his cane a little harder into Vox's screen. He tried to speak again, but he glitched, losing his grip and slipping.

But he didn't fall. Through all the TV static, he felt his wrists being grabbed, as he was pulled upward. He still couldn't focus much, but he recognized that he had dropped to a hardwood floor now.

"My, this certainly is quite a problem.. For you, anyway, I find it entertaining." Alastor chuckled. Vox pressed a palm to the cool floor to try and ground himself. Gradually, the static cleared itself. "You know what I found interesting? That someone as strong and as feared as you got cut down by an angel." He said, glaring.

The room got deadly silent, Alastor's smile much more strained now.

"... I need your help, okay?"

"And why should I help you? Especially after that nice little comment you made."

"Listen, I'm- Ugh. Forget it, I don't know why I even both-øťhəred-" Vox had stood to leave, only for another glitch to have him leaning against the wall for support.

"It appears neither of us are in great shape." Alastor said, begrudgingly lifting Vox by his upper arm and setting him in one of the swivel chairs. He crossed his arms and waited for Vox's glitching to pass.

After a solid minute, Vox groaned, his head starting to hurt. "So what made you think you'd come to someone who famously hates television boxes for help? Especially when that person is a rival, an enemy, someone you've fought in the past?" Alastor asked.

Vox looked up at him, feeling that pit of anxiety in his stomach again. "I didn't know who else to go to. Valentino is useless, Velvet doesn't know shit about tech, and you're the only other demon who has seen me weak before."

Alastor took a moment to process that last part. He considered it. If he helped Vox, he risked being seen as soft. But if he didn't help him, what if it got worse, and he lost his nemesis, the pettiness that kept him going at times, that pushed him to be the best Host?

He sat down in his seat, across from Vox. "Do you trust me?" He asked. Vox thought for a moment. Did he? He must have if he came here. "I have to."

"Good enough." Alastor went to get started... "Wait how the hell do I do this? I'm more familiar with my own equipment."

Oh, right. Vox sighed. "The back of my monitor comes off. Just open it, and I'll instruct you from there." He said, turning around and removing his hat.

Alastor curled his fingers around the back panel of his monitor, causing Vox to jump a little. "If you want me to help you, sit still-" "I am, shut up." Alastor pulled the back panel off and was met with what to him looked like Alien technology.

After Vox had instructed him on what to do, he got to work. Though he didnt like working in silence, it felt a little too intimate, especially with his hands inside someone else's head.

"So what exactly caused this, if I may ask?" He questioned. "Stress. I start to glitch out when things are hard to process and I overload. Sometimes if the glitching gets too bad, I shut down, which I'd rather avoid."

"Shut down," Alastor repeated, "I thought if you 'shut down,' you'd die or something?" "No, no.. I can more closely compare it to burnout but ten times worse. Last time I shut down, it took me a week to recharge."

"Hm. And what caused you to become so stressed this time? Sure I've seen you briefly buffer and glitch during our fights, but never this bad." Alastor asked. Vox noticed the radio filter in his voice seemed to fade out. He was genuinely curious.

He didn't know what to say. More like he didn't know how to say it. How do you tell your rival of all people you were stressed because you saw them get hurt?

"Well? With how close I am to all these wires, I'd answer if I were you." Ah, his filter was back. "I just.. Got overworked." "Need I remind you how easy it would be for me to unplug some of these wires? Hm, this yellow one seems awfully loose-" "I was worried oka- Aha!"

...

"What do we have here?" Alastor asked, a smile evident in his voice. Vox froze. He actually didn't know 'what they had there.' That had never happened before.

"I-I don't know, but Alastor I swear to Satan himself- wahait- grr- Don't!" He gripped the armrests of his seat in a desperate attempt to hold still. He worried if he pulled away too fast, he'd accidentally rip a wire out.

It felt so weird. He could actually feel Alastor messing with the wires in his head, specifically the ones down at the bottom that ran down his neck and into his back. Each time the Radio host rolled one between his fingers, it sent what felt like electricity into his system. Thousands of little shocks that made him want to pull away and- No. He wouldn't, it was dumb, it was weak, and it wasn't like him.

Alastor grinned wider, finding it fun to mess with him. "Why Vox, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were ticklish." He said, rubbing the wires again, watching as Vox gripped the armrests tighter and scrunched his shoulders up. Alastor only grew more amused as he heard the other's fans whir to life as his ventilation system tried to cool him down.

Vox, however, felt like he was fighting for his life. His shoulders were shaking, his chest was spasming, and he felt his screen overheating. He was actively fighting back any noise that tried to escape. He refused to be seen as any weaker than he already was. "T-Tickl-what? The f-fuhuck is that? Thihis isn't a vihirus??"

Alastor paused. "You seriously have never heard of tickling? It's childsplay. Children often have tickle-fights with their siblings and friends. You've never even seen it?" "I never really had any friends."

There was a beat of silence.

"What about the other V's?"

"Gross, you think I'd let Valentino get anywhere near me? You know where his hands have been?"

"Where haven't they been is the real question."

Fuck, that got a laugh out of Vox. A real one too, not the fake rehearsed one he used in public or on TV. It was lighter than Alastor expected, genuine, and almost had a warm sound to it if you can imagine that.

And Alastor found himself wanting to hear it again. "I suppose I should get back to maintenance now shouldn't I?" He said, returning to his work, get making sure his hands brushed over the wires and cables occasionally. More than occasionally.

"A-Alastor- fuhuck- wahahait- *wheeeze* ahahahaha!" Vox found himself stomping the floor a little, since he was unable to pull away. He felt light scritching at the base of his neck, obviously intentional. "Yohohou ohold tihihimey prihick! I'll d-dehehe- dehehehahahaha!"

"Oh I'm sorry, you're going to what now? I can't exactly hear you." Alastor grinned. Both hands, or claws one should say, suddenly scritched at the back of his ribs.

Unable to control himself, Vox tossed his head back and laughed, and slammed backward, pressing his back into the seat. Alastor was quick to pull his hands back with a chuckle.

Vox's fans were whirring loudly. "You ahasshole, just finish fuckin' repairing me." "Oh I finished that ten minutes ago!" Alastor answered cheerfully, popping the back panel back into place in Vox's monitor.

Vox groaned, irritated.

"I still find it hard to believe you've never heard of tickling! Everyone knows about it. I'm even more surprised no one's ever found out by accident. Not even while reparing your monitor?"

"I fix myself, I don't trust anyone to touch me."

"You trusted me."

Vox turned his swivel chair around to face Alastor. "I did, yeah.."

Alastor tilted his head a little in curiosity. "And maybe you could trust me again. You never did tell me what got you so stressed." Vox rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because you started assaulting me before I could."

"Voxius."

"That's not- Did you just assign me a full name?"

"Yes, now quit stalling." Alastor said, latching a hand onto Vox's side. "WAIT-" He shouted before batting at his hand, huffing out chuckles. Alastor only crawled his hands up Vox's ribs before targeting his underarms.

"WAITFUCKTHATSWORSE!" He cackled out, slamming his arms down, trapping Alastor's hands. The Radio demon only chuckled. "You'll learn that when it comes to tickling, much like real fights, you're not supposed to let your opponent know exactly where your weak points are. Now I can do this." He stated before drilling his thumbs into Vox's underarms.

"FAHAHAHACK!" He shouted, kicking a leg out, much like a dog, whilst also trying to curl up in his chair to protect himself. "Thihihis ihihis rihihihidiculohohous!!"

"What's ridiculous is that you still haven't answered the question."

"YOHOU WOHONT LEHEHET MEHEHE!"

"Hm, fine." Alastor stopped and pulled his hands away. Vox tried to kick him but of course a tendril came out and grabbed his leg, as he expected.

Vox muttered something. "I'm sorry?" Alastor asked, leaning closer. Vox sighed. "I was worried." "About?"

"About you."

Alastor's eyes widened ever so slightly. Vox had been violently glitching out over him? "Why is that?" His voice was normal.

"You're my rival, so obviously I tuned in to watch the battle. I wanted to see if you'd get killed. Part of me obviously wanted it to happen, but when I saw that Angel snap your cane and actually hit you-" Alastor flinched at the memory, "Seeing you actually vulnerable like that.. I realized I didn't actually want to lose my one and only rival. As much as I hate ya, you do push me to come up with newer and better shows in order to compete with you."

"I... can't say I haven't thought the same thing. Because of you I have to write better scripts and find the best topics for my broadcast. Even though it's no question that I'm the best," he grinned as Vox frowned, "But I am the best because of you."

Vox wasn't sure what to say to that, having mixed feelings. Before he could overthink it, Alastor held a hand out. He took it, as the other demon helped him up. "Now, it's quite late, and you have a tight schedule, I'm sure." He opened the window, as a large tendril waited outside for Vox.

"I do appreciate you coming to check on me." He said before hurrying Vox out the window, as he sat on the tendril. "If you tell anyone I said that, I just might broadcast this newly discovered sensitivity of yours." He threatened.

There was the Alastor he knew and loved to hate.

"I won't, don't worry. I don't feel like explaining to anyone why I was over at your Radio Tower anyway. You hurry up and heal, Alastor, I want you in top shape for our next fight," He smirked, "Even I'm not low enough to kick someone while he's do-OOOWN-" The tendril suddenly dropped, pulling Vox down with it, where it would drop him off safely on the ground.

Alastor shut his window, and watched the TV show host leave down the hill. Never in a million years did he think Vox would ever trust him, nor did he ever think he'd help his rival.

But he couldn't deny that he had had a little fun that night, not only tickling him, but just talking and getting to know him a little.

This night might have made their rivalry slightly more complicated.

#sfw tickling community #tickle community #tickle fic #hazbin hotel tickle #hazbin tickles #lee!vox #ler!alastor

[spid3namy]

— AUGUST

pairing : e!42 miles x mixed!female reader

summary : rumors spread like wildfire around school, everyone knew everyone's business. who knew the only rumor about you and your boyfriend would be true...?

contains : angst, cheating, song inspired (obviously), they are mid to late teens, miles lowkey stupid asf, implied lying (kind of), might have some incorrect spanish, cussing, not proof read

divider creds : saradika

word count : 2031

notes : lowkey, i only wrote this cus i literally love this song and figured why not write angst. this is my way of being productive while also being lazy asf LMAO. i probably might start a taglist for people who wanna be tagged when i post new things but we’ll see. anyways, i hope you enjoy the story <3

“Will you call when you're back at school...?”

Summer vacation.

For some, it was a great way to get away from school. To hang out with friends, to spend time with family. Others, it was nothing but a cruel and long three and a half months. 

For you, it was supposed to be a great three and a half months!

Until you found out that you were being shipped away to your grandparents house to spend time with them. Sure, you loved your grandparents but they were just.. so old. Summer was supposed to be the time when you hung out with your best friends!

And most importantly, your boyfriend! But no. 

Before you knew it, you had been packed up and sent on a flight all the way up to the shitty state of Washington. And that’s cruelly how you spent your summer vacation. Being around old people for a long three and a half months literally sucked.

September 18.

The day school started was a nightmare.

Rumors spread around like wild-fire at Visions Academy. Well, you knew that much. Especially with all the rumors that happened last year about the girl that had gotten pregnant. Of course, that rumor had been a lie. But everyone knew about it in the spam of like 20 minutes.

“Y/N! Have you heard yet?”

Your best friend, Juno, is the first one to come up to you the moment you walk through the doors. She was always so pretty when she came to school. If you all didn’t have to wear uniforms, she’d probably be the hottest girl in school with those fire ass fits you knew she owned.

“Heard what exactly?”

“Okay, so I’m guessing you haven’t heard then.”

You look at the girl and raise an eyebrow, brushing your braids behind your shoulder to flow down your back. What the hell was she on about now? Juno was your best friend, yes, but she was too into the gossip the school had going on. Most times, you couldn’t even believe the words she said. 

“Well, are ya gonna tell me?”

Juno stared at you for a few moments before she shrugged, figuring that if you really wanted to know then she would tell you. Even if she knew it was gonna hurt you, it was best if you found out from her and not some random stranger who probably would tell it in the worst way possible.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Uh.. okay? I promise.”

Juno let out a breath and gripped the strap of her tote bag tightly before she spoke in a mess of jumbled up words. “Okay so basically, I heard from Dorothea who heard it from Suki who heard it from Rose who heard it from Verity who heard it from Betty who heard it from Venus, herself, that she and Miles had a little fling over the summer.”

You blink as you watch Juno suck in a huge intake of air. She was acting as though she had been waiting a long time to gain some type of air in her lungs. 

You soon burst out into laughter and shook your head, holding your stomach as you laughed. Juno watched you with confusion clear on your face; she clearly didn’t understand what the hell was funny. 

Once you had slowly started to calm down, you wiped an imaginary tear from your eye and shook your head, looking at the female. 

“Whew, thanks Jun, I really needed a laugh today.”

“I’m being serious, Y/N. I totally think it’s true too!”

“That’s ridiculous, Miles would never do anything like that. Me and he are locked in.”

Juno stares at you before she shrugged; the two of you started your descent down the hallway to where your shared first class was. 

“‘M just sayin’ what I heard. Only Miles would really know what happened. Just hope he doesn’t lie to you.”

You snort and roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your shoulder and looking over at her. “He would never lie to me.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N. But just remember: men ain’t shit”

“Tha.. thank you for that, Juno. But you’re not really the greatest person to say that. Especially since you’re biased as hell.”

“What? I am not biased!” 

“Yes you are”

Juno rolled her eyes as the two of you walked into the classroom. Anatomy, the board read.

Great, seeing bodies and stuff at 8 in the morning was gonna be so fun. And it was a block class. How fun.

✰

Lunch. Possibly the only good thing about being at this stupid school. You and Juno stand in line together, looking at all the options of food you can pick out. It’s not much. Pizza, nachos, salads, and hot dogs. Barf. 

You let out a sigh and grabbed a plate that had a pretty decent sized slice of pizza. Juno looks over at you and makes a face before she reaches over to grab a salad. The two of you quickly scan your school ids to pay for the food before you walk over to a table where Miles had been sitting. He had been there alone for a while now. 

He was fortunate enough to have his own food.

Juno sits in front of you two before she nudges her head over to the male who was too busy drawing in his stupid sketchbook to even notice that you were even there. You give a look before you sit down next to your boyfriend, peering over his shoulder a little to see what he was doing.

“Whatcha drawin’?”

“You.”

The answer was so flat, so blunt. It caused your cheeks to heat up when you realized that he was, in fact, drawing you. Miles had always been so good at drawing. It was one of his many talents. 

“You two make me sick.”

“You’re just jealous, Jun. It’s not our fault that your mystery girl doesn’t know you exist.”

Juno lets out a dramatic cry and puts her head down when you mention the girl she had a crush on since 8th grade. It was a little cute that she’s liked her for so long. Yet, she has never even attempted to make a move on her.

“I just wish Leni would notice me.”

“Just talk to her, it ain’t that hard.” That earned Miles a glare despite the fact that he didn’t even really see it. Not like he really cared. He was just speaking the truth.

“Not everyone is brave enough for that, Miles.”

“Jus’ quit being a fuckin’ pussy and talk to her.”

Juno glared at him more and started to stand up. You shake your head quickly to get her to sit down. You already knew where this was headed and you really didn’t want the two of them to get into a huge argument. Not again. Not this school year.

Juno lets out a noise of frustration before she sits back down, her hand gripping the fork in her hands tightly. 

“At least, I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend.”

That seemed to gain his attention. Miles looked up from his sketchbook and quickly put his pencil down, looking at her with a look that could only be described as anger.

“Where the hell did you hear that from?”

“Miles..”

“Callarse la boca”

You look offended by his words but you don’t have time to dwell on it before Miles speaks again, his voice clear with annoyance.

“Where did you hear that from, Juno? Huh?!”

“Dorothea told me.”

Miles takes a deep breath at that, his nostrils flaring slightly as he lets out a deep and heavy exhale. He was screwed because now you knew about it. And he knew how you were going to act now that you knew. 

“Why are you gettin’ so upset, babe? It’s not like it’s true, right?”

Miles looks over at you and sighs, his shoulders tensing up as he clears his throat awkwardly. Guess it was time to be honest now. 

“Mi vida, listen... it-”

You blink and stare at you, anger slowly starting to fill up your body. You don’t even let him get another word out before you raise your hand and slap him. The feeling caused his face to sting, his face turned to the side from the impact. He lets out a slow breath and nods to himself; he knew he deserved it. 

“Fuck you, Morales.”

And with those harsh words spat, you get up and walk away from him. Juno and Miles both watch as you leave before Juno looks over at him, shaking her head and letting out a sigh.

“You fucked up man.”

“No, really? Thanks for the news flash, sherlock.”

“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”

Miles glares at the girl as she gets up and goes after you. God, he was so fucking stupid!

✰

It’s been a week since you last spoke to Miles. You have been avoiding him at school and even went as far as changing seats in the classes you shared with him. You did everything in your power to try and be as far away from him as possible. Miles didn’t seem to let that affect him.

Even if you were far away from him, he would still do his very hardest to talk to you. To explain what happened between him and Venus over the summer. But of course, you didn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to a word he said. It would be nothing but a lie.

Juno was right; men ain’t shit.

It was almost sickening to think that your once loyal and sweet boyfriend would turn out to be a dirty, rotten cheater! And to think it only took one summer for him to change. That was so fucked up man. You hated how easily you had allowed yourself to be betrayed. 

How could someone be so sweet one minute then betray you the first chance they got? It really made no sense to you. 

A knock on your bedroom door was enough to pull yourself from your thoughts. Your head snapped up just as the door opened to reveal Juno, a sheepish smile on her face as she practically jumped on you.

“What are you doin’ here, Jun?”

“I was summoned by your father.”

You let out a snort and roll your eyes, moving over slightly to give her more room to sit on the bed. It was sweet how she wanted to comfort you but you already knew it wasn’t going to work. You were too hurt to ever feel better after just a few visits but you appreciate the effort.

“Should I beat his ass?”

“No.. it’s fine, Jun. I don’t really care, ya know? I already got over it!”

“Mhm. and is that why you’re still avoiding him?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Juno lets out a chuckle and moves closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder gently and pulling you closer for a side hug. It was the best thing she could think of doing right now. 

“Ya know.. He’s stupid for doing that to you. He don’t know what he’s missing.”

And that did it. Before you knew it, you had burst out into tears. Juno rubbed the side of your arm gently and allowed you to cry on her shoulder, soaking her shirt with your tears. She knew you probably needed this right now.

“I fuckin’ hate him, Jun.”

“I know, Y/N.”

“I wish I never met him!”

“I know, Y/N”

The two of you stay like that for an hour. Maybe longer. Who knew? It didn’t matter anyway. Juno was too busy trying to comfort you while you bawled your eyes out. It hurt so fucking much. 

All the trust that you had put into Miles was now gone. 

And it was all his fault. 

Seeing him everyday at school hurt worse than any pain imaginable. But at least you had Juno by your side, you knew she would never hurt you. She was your best friend. She was different than him.

You wish you had never fallen in love with Miles Morales.

#☆ namy writes #e42 miles #earth 42 miles morales x reader #angst #earth 42 miles angst #earth 42 miles morales angst #e42 angst #e42 miles morales angst #e42 miles morales x reader #across the spider verse angst #across the spiderverse

[invidiia]

I don’t think you understand the way I raced to read your work once I saw you updated something new lmfaoaoo. But like I have an idea- platonic yandere pm!Dazai with a reader who was sent to assassinate him from a rival organization. This is my first time asking so feel free to ignore this- literately just have a great day <3

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "higher than the sun." 𖤐 yandere osamu dazai // reader.

dazai grows an obsession after meeting the one who was supposed to end him.

m.list // now playing..

[ a/n ; THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!! pm!dazai so silly i love him even though he makes me sad </3 reader and dazai are the same age, so whether it's teen/adult daz depends on reader's age i suppose? ]

[ warning ; platonic yandere, obsession, gender neutral reader, reader's organization is abusive to them, honestly this can probably be read as platonic or romantic, reader also lives in a shipping container like dazai, does that count as a stormbringer spoiler?, mention of torture and death ]

[ word count ; 1.6k ]

One month.

It was one month since you were tasked to assassinate Osamu Dazai of the Port Mafia, and it was finally time.

The young assassin stood behind the door with a sharp knife in their hand, leaning against it to listen for anyone else in the room. Only silence.

Nothing could be heard from beyond the door, but you knew your target was behind it. Getting into the port mafia headquarters wasn't easy, but you were here now, so what really mattered was killing Dazai and getting out easily.

You leaned up against the door quietly, trying to listen for anything else to be a danger while you did this job. It was super important you didn't fail. You could never predict your leader's next move.

With an ear to the door, you finally made out a sound. The sound of the door knob turning. Before you could react, the door swung back and you fell forward. Into someone. You landed on your side, while the other landed on their back. It was embarrassing. You sat up carefully to look at the person, seeing if it was truly who you needed to see.. and it was. Osamu Dazai lied next to you on his back, opening his eyes.

You gasped, turning to trap him under you, with the knife in your hand. Now, Dazai was face to face with the person who would bring him death. Your target lie shocked under you, and before you raised the knife to stab his chest, a smile creeped onto his face, and Dazai spoke up.

"Do it," He spoke, followed by a smirk and a sigh. "I always wanted to die under the hands of someone like you."

Hold on.

Someone like you?

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

You moved back off of him, obviously flustered, and dropping the knife. Did he just call you attractive? "Did you just..?" Seriously. Calling the person who was about to stab him, to bring him death, attractive?

Dazai sat up too, moving closer. "Yeah." He spoke as if it was normal. "Are you gonna kill me, or..?" He looked through your eyes, straight to your very soul. "I.. Um, yeah, I'm gonna kill you. With this.." You turned to your side to pick up the knife, but it was gone. Looking back up to see Dazai pulling away from you, with the knife in his hands. Oh.

You backed away further, because now he had the knife, and you were at just about every disadvantage here. "I gotta go, uh."

"Wait, you're supposed to kill me..!" Your target yelled before you stumbled back up to your feet and bolted, leaving the room and running down flights of stairs. Thankfully you had stamina because if anyone else from the mafia caught you, you'd be killed.

But maybe death was better than being beaten by your boss.

Was your life always this miserable before?

That's what Dazai wanted to know. He followed you the night you left, looking for you again.

Dazai gained an obsession. Some kind of love, and he didn't know. He watched through a window as the one who ordered his death violently beat you, continuing to press on your limp body with his shoe for not finishing your job. Dazai stayed out of sight, to keep the living proof of your failure hidden as to not get you hurt more.

Part of him blamed himself for this. Thinking that he should have let you stab him to avoid being beaten.. but then, he couldn't save you in the future, like he couldn't now. That was why he had a plan.

Dazai followed closely behind on an empty street, watching you cling to street light poles to keep yourself standing on a sprained ankle. He noticed how you winced in pain every time your hand clutched the poles, the sensitive, scraped skin giving you a hard time just because you couldn't properly stand.

It was a long walk to where you lived, especially if you're injured. Dazai had a smile, watching while you dragged yourself into your temporary home - a shipping container. You were just like him! You two were destined to meet, practically cut from the same mold.

Like Dazai's own, your living space was very.. empty. Barely anything, aside from a bed and place to store your food, and a few other necessities.

But, at least you could get some sleep for the night.

Only a few days later, you found yourself back in your own bed. Normally for you, sleep was amazing when you haven't gotten it in a while. Any amount was worth it, as long as you had a bed, right?

It wasn't normal, however, to wake up to another person's head right over yours. You could see one eye with a curious glint peering down at yours, the other hidden by bandages.

It didn't take you long to back away and swing a fist at the familiar face. Your former target caught your wrist right at your knuckles grazed his face. Thankfully, it didn't hurt him, or he'd be a little more upset. But could he really blame you? You're just defending yourself, he can't possibly hate you because you thought he came to hurt you.

Dazai didn't yell at you or anything, all he did was ask one question.

"How's your ankle?" You had no idea he saw what he did. Was he not here to get revenge on you for trying to kill him? "What? You saw that..?" You paused, sitting up probably and turning off the side of the bed, lifting your ankle up to see how it looked. Swollen blotches of a deep purple color covered all around the area. It hurt to move, but it wasn't the worst thing your boss had done to you anyway. You've limped home on a broken leg twice anyway. "If you're looking for an apology, I'm sorry. I-I was ordered to do it,"

"No," Dazai stifled a laugh, bringing a hand to his face. He didn't care about your apology. He wanted you to kill him anyway.. but not now. "I don't want a 'sorry'. Instead, I have an offer for you."

You never heard offer with a good meaning.. normally, your boss would give you a mission for a large amount of money, and then cut down on his word by paying you less than his promise. "Offer..?" You cautiously asked.

"Yes." Dazai stood in front of you, reaching a hand out for you to take. "Come with me, join the port mafia." His hand was steady, contrary to the way he felt inside, anxious. Anxious for your answer, for your reaction.

You hesitated. Leaving your boss would be.. hard. Despite the organization being smaller than the port mafia, it wouldn't be hard for your boss to find you. If he found out you were gone, who knows? Likely, he'd have you killed for treason. "What would my superior say..? He'll find out, then he'll have me killed."

"I won't let him hurt you." Dazai responded quickly, taking your hand in his without asking, It hurt. It hurt your skin, the palms of your hands still scraped, not fully healed. "I won't let him lay a finger on you. Would you do the same for me?"

He stared into your hesitant eyes for a few moments. "I can't betray him.." Dazai didn't like your decision. His eyes were darker, less hopeful for your answer. "I understand." And with that, he let go of your hand and left.

It was a few days again since you decided to stay under your boss.

Dazai could understand. He knew you were terrified of being killed for turning against your only source of income. But he could just have your boss killed if he wanted to! He could have him tortured for hurting you as much as he did! All Dazai needed was for you to trust him, and it didn't work, he should have known.

Unless he used another tactic. Maybe he could get you to come with him willingly, but why would he wait so long to take you out of your situation? Kidnapping was always an option, anyway.

But first, he wanted to get your boss out of the way. There was nothing too special about his death, really - it just was rare to be tortured by Dazai specifically, then killed.

Now that your boss was gone, what was basically your life had just dissolved in the span of two days. Your boss was dead, multiple other members had gone off the grid, and you were forced to go back home.

The shipping container's doors shut with a slam while you flopped onto the bed, whether it was anger or sadness, you couldn't even tell. Part of you was relieved, hearing about the death of your abuser, the infamous boss of your organization. Your vision was blurred. You didn't feel like you had a purpose anymore. You practically just lost your life.

The thing that snapped you out of your dissociation was the sound of the container door shutting. When you looked back up, Dazai was there, standing in front of you with a smile on his face.

You wanted to tell him the answer was no, knowing he was going to ask you to come with him again, but you were too out of it to do anything but look up at him. "I heard about your leader."

He mocked your boss. Dazai knew what he did. "I know you have something to do with this," You sighed, blinking to gain composure over yourself.

"Maybe," Dazai stepped closer to you, tilting a head at your accusation, smiling. He didn't deny it. "So, what'll it be?"

#dazai x reader #yandere bsd #tw yandere #yandere dazai #yandere dazai osamu #platonic yandere dazai #platonic yandere #platonic bungo stray dogs #platonic bsd #platonic yandere bsd #dazai osamu x reader #yandere osamu dazai x reader #yandere osamu dazai

[arklayraven]

I can't sleep rn while this annoyed/pissed off. So time to remind people OM is canonly a queer game as hell and to tell the queerphobes and transphobes to FUCK OFF. (Seriously, why are you following me if you hate queer and trans people/characters? Get out of here.)

This is a official post by OM devs over the creation of OM and their MC. Read the left section well.

"OM isn't a queer game" many like to say.

The game, writers and characters beg to differ.

From someone kind who felt they knew all about the game and characters well, even tho they played it themselves.

Let's go back to that official post by Solmare about OM and this section specifically.

Hope you read that well, and the person(and many who think/believe this) learns how damn wrong they are.

Also...God don't bring up my Asmo and act like you know all about him. Another thing from that kind person.

Firstly, canonly none of the characters have set labels. But they are all in fact canonly queer. Whether you like to believe/accept this or not. It's fact, was fact from day one.

Asmodeus is the most openly proud queer boy in the series, and gender nonconforming too at that, even if he uses only he/him pronouns(but he's been shown to be fine being called princess, queen, etc. So he's clearly open to all gendered/less pronouns/labels I feel).

He drips of gender fluidity, and going against gender presentation norms(Babe has presented so fem and nonconforming for awhile now. Learn to look at him and appreciate him better). So take note of all of that, and never say again he's not queer, because that's a damn fucking lie.

Also I hate how bi is used as default for queerness as a whole for characters who are interested in more than one gender, and wish for the day people stop using it as so. (Use MSPEC or just queer if you wish to sound more inclusive of all possible labels/identities for a canon queer character with no canon label set.)

Second, back to what I said before, ALL THE CHARACTERS IN OM ARE QUEER. If you ship your MC or yourself with them, know that's a canon queer character you're pairing them/yourself up with. And you can't erase their queerness and identity. Especially if it makes you personally feel bothered or crap.

And before you say anything, dating them, as a straight woman, doesn't automatically make them straight now too. They are still queer, but are dating you, who happen to be a straight woman. (stop being damn queerphobic challenge.)

I'm already tired of this crap, so gonna end this now and fast.

OM is a canon queer game, and was made with a MC who is genderless to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS. This opened the door quickly for men, nonbinary, etc players to enjoy the game too, and be part of the fandom as well. There's as much men and nonbinary players in the series like women are, but only difference is in the fandom mainly. Many people choose to see which fans or MCs are more accepted in the community, and which ones to show more love/attention too.

If you tried to expand your horizons more, you will surely quickly find people who identify as men, nonbinary, etc in the fandom as well. And learn how we're here, always been here, just greatly drowned out or ignored by a vast majority of people just because of who we are. (Lots of people with dislike for MCs who are men, or just plain damn queerphobia and transphobia in the works.)

The more people try to ignore the clear fact men and nonbinary people play OM too. The more easier it is for them say OM and its characters aren't canonly queer, and they can feel special/happy about playing the game. That they want to believe was just made to cater to women only. But in reality it was made to be catered to all players, no matter their gender identity or lack of, and same for romantic/sexual attraction.

Also another thing I forgot to add to put more facts that OM is a queer game to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS.

Already, the undateables from day one are canonly queer too. If you need to be reminded and stated that as well.

That's pretty much it on this annoying tiring topic.

Enjoy playing OM, the canonly queer game made for ALL PLAYERS. <3

#;little raven speaks #;raven om calamity

[froggywritesstuff]

like i love you | yandere!amber freeman

ship/pairing: yandere!amber freeman x male!reader

fandom: scream

request: anon: pls more yandere amber freeman i am not normal ab her 🙏🙏 male reader:)

warnings: yandere themes, death threats (not to the reader), swearing, pet names (reader gets called baby, good boy, and gets compared to a puppy), mentions of blood, manipulation, knives, gas lighting, crying, reader gets knocked unconscious, light sadism, not proofread

word count: 875

A/N: i do not in any way support yandere behaviour, please know that this writing is purely fictional, and should not ever be reenacted in real life

You're finally gonna do it. There's no way she can stop you. You're done with her. You're done with her lies, you're done with her controlling your life. You're ending this today, you're confident in that. You just wish your hand would stop shaking so much.

"Now what are you gonna do with that, baby?" Amber asks, tilting her head to the side, a wicked grin on her face.

You readjust your grip on the knife, momentarily pausing the shakiness, "I'm gonna kill you Amber. I'm gonna fucking kill you." your voice is anything but confident, and fear courses through your body as Amber's smile widens.

"Oh really?" she asks. You nod. "Alright then. Do it.” she sneers, an amused look in her eyes, “Slit my throat, slit my fucking throat, watch me bleed out in front of you, look into my eyes while you take my life. I want you to know what you’re doing, I want you to know that when you kill me, no one- fucking no one will love you like I love you.”

Your face falters, but only for a second before regaining the cold facade, “I don’t want your love, I never wanted your love.”

Her lips turn up into a smile, “No, no, you need my love. No matter how much you try to suppress it, you know you can’t survive without me. I’ve made sure of it. You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. And the fact is Y/N, that without me you’d be completely lost.”

You shake your head weakly, “No.”

Her smile only widens, “Yes, Y/N. God, when I’m not around you you’re like a lost little puppy. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself without me. So I’d suggest you put the knife down, before you do something really stupid.” she says, all with a sweet smile on her face.

You shake your head, readjusting your grip on the knife, “No, Amber, I’m not gonna let you do this to me, I-I’m done letting you control me.”

She laughs slightly, “Oh that’s adorable. You really think you have any say in this?" she takes a step towards you.

"Ge-get the fuck away from me!" you yell, backing away from her, beads of sweat dripping from your forehead.

A low chuckle leaves her lips, "You're really scared aren't you?"

"Shut the fuck up." you shout, attempting to convince her you had an ounce of confidence in you.

"That's ok, baby, I know you are. You're shaking, sweating, and I can practically hear your heartbeat." she notes with a smirk.

"Stop." you mutter weakly.

She shakes her head, a kind smile on her face that makes your heart race, "I don't think so. Now if you be a good boy and give me the knife right now, I won't be as mad at you." She steps your way, making you back up until your back hits the wall.

You shake, feeling utterly and completely trapped, "Ju-just stop, please."

She laughs. You're on the brink of a mental breakdown and she laughs. "Tell me how you're the one with the knife, yet I’m the one backing you up against the wall." she hums, "You're doing all the work for me, it's adorable."

You open your mouth to speak, but the words die on your tongue. You're losing hope. You don't think you can kill her. You know you can't kill her. As long as she's alive, your life is in her control. And there's nothing you can do about that.

Tears prick your eyes and you feel a tight pain in your jaw as you try not to cry.

"Give it to me." she says, leaving no room for argument. You loosen your grip on the knife, hands shaking as you hold it closer to her, and Amber takes it from your hand. "There you go," she smiles condescendingly, placing the tip of the knife underneath your chin. "Was that so hard?" she lifts your head up slightly, forcing you to meet her cold eyes.

Unable to fight anymore, tears stream from your eyes and down your cheeks as you break into a fit of sobs. Through the tears you can see Amber's smirk widening.

"I-I'm sorry Amber, I'm so sorry." you say in between sobs. You're aware of how pathetic you sound. You're counting on it to keep you from getting stabbed.

"Aw baby, you're sorry?" she coos, tossing the knife to the side and pulling you into a tight hug. You almost find yourself relaxing in her arms, her hands gently caressing your back and calming your sobs. "It's a bit late for apologies, Y/N." she whispers, sending chills down your spine. Before you can beg for mercy, she readjusts her grip on you, grabbing you by the hair and slamming your head into the wall. You collapse to the floor, your vision getting blurrier by the second. You're able to hear your breathing, coming out heavy and slowly, but everything else sounds like you're listening underwater. Amber's voice sounds in your ear. You can't make out a word she says, but you know it can't be good. You know you're in for a world of pain.

#fanfiction #yandere #yandere fanfiction #yandere x reader #tw yandere #male reader #x reader #amber freeman x reader headcanons #amber freeman x male reader #yandere amber freeman x reader #amber freeman x reader #amber freeman #yandere amber freeman x male reader #scream movies #scream movie #scream #scream 5 #amber freeman x y/n #amber freeman x you #yandere amber freeman x you #female yandere #female yandere x male reader #scream x reader #froggywritesstuff

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Okay, back at it again with Netflix’s One Piece. Here are my thoughts on episode 3 (as someone who has never watched or read the series, so this is the only One Piece content I’ve ever gotten into):

1) Usopp has “Russian Baltic Fleet during the Russo-Japanese War” energy. Keeps seeing enemy ships that aren’t there.

2) I just noticed this. I’m a little bothered that everyone is a little too dry. Everyone is out at sea, at least have the actors splash themselves with water every now and then. The characters don’t even look sweaty, despite doing hard work in the sun! Anyways, this is just a nitpick. Obviously, realism isn’t a major point for this show.

3) Helmeppo and Koby friendship arc?

4) Didn’t expect Buggy to return. I thought he would just be a one-off villain. But I’m not gonna object to having more Jeff Ward in the show.

5) I’m assuming Arlong is the main villain of season 1?

6) “What kind of pirate are you?” Nami is saying EXACTLY what I’m thinking lol. Doesn’t want to steal, he wants to help people, he doesn’t really talk about earning money, he befriends a potential marine (which I’m assuming is this world’s equivalent of the government). Luffy is the most anti-pirate pirate character I’ve ever encountered. It’s like his definition of pirate is something entirely different, while everyone around him actually knows what pirates do.

7) So we have the goofy hero, the sassy thief, and the lone-wolf badass. I’m assuming Usopp is the cowardly liar who just wants people to be impressed by him, like he’s seeking validation. So…he’s Zenitsu. Or Ron Stoppable.

8) Okay, not gonna lie, I’m kinda feeling Zoro x Nami. They got a little Batman-Catwoman type chemistry. But I’ll keep my mind open since I’ve read that this other character Sanji likes Nami?

9) I swear to god, I can hear the kawaii voice that would be coming from a character like Kaya. I’m gonna have to rewatch this in the Japanese dub to confirm my suspicions.

Okay, will make another post for the next half of the episode.

#opla #one piece netflix #one piece live action #one piece #one piece liveblog #one piece spoilers #netflix one piece #opla live reaction #usopp #Netflix #Helmeppo #Koby #buggy the clown #arlong #nami #nami one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #kaya one piece

[trilobitepunch]

"Sooo let me get this straight. You were pulled through some alien-robot's ship's warping mechanism, went on some mission and touched a questionable artifact that ended up with this mystical stone material that allows you to interface with ancient magically-integrated tech of some kind-"

"Space bridge, yes. On a Cybertronian ship. Shot Unicron in the face, that part was kind of great, not gonna lie-"

"-you said you have no more actual arms beneath this?"

"Yyyyyyes, these things sort of eat my body the more I use it for impossible things."

"Gguuuh, magic."

"Right? You think you'd get enough magic nonsense from one Prime and then another one fails to detail the fine print on this whole situation."

"And Primes are like these higher being types, right? Greaaaaat."

"Mostly extinct, and yet somehow still troublesome. But what about your situation?"

"Oh, I just got dropped into an alternate Earth where super-powered beings are kind of the norm- it's pretty cool and kind of great until some psycho god got upset about us all being there. And then there was this whole time travel business and changing the past and throwing hands with said god..."

"Uh. You know, he's not the only one coming up with weird readings through my goggles..."

"Hahaha- what? No idea what you're talking about!"

"That...is an interesting aura there. Do we even want to know?"

"-probably not, hey- what about you? You... Look relatively unscathed."

"...I was kidnapped by pink four-armed aliens with a bunch of people and we're expected to fix their homeworld so they can return to it."

"I think I like being kidnapped by giant robot people better."

"Yeah, well at least we still have our limbs. Anything else you'd like to share with the class?"

"...I officially have a girlfriend now."

"-what" "HOW"

===============================

I roleplay Donnie on three different journal-based RPs and thought it'd be funny if they interacted. Two started off from mid-season 2 and the other's from the beginning of the movie. TRP!Donnie is suddenly thinking that maybe his situation with pink aliens isn't so bad after all...

#rp stuff

[thesoappope]

My thoughts on Chaggie/ Charlie x Vaggie

Before we begin, no this isn't a "I hate chaggie post" and no I will not be hating on those who ship it either. Rather this is just my thoughts on chaggie at the moment.

So, I'm just gonna say it, Chaggie is my OTP. Not because it is perfection, but because it's in my opinion one of the most interesting relationship canon/noncanon, I love both the characters in the relationship, and any moment of intimacy (not just kisses and such but any intimacy that reads as romantic) is cute. And with that I want to talk about the relationship so far.

Now I've been seeing people say their relationship is toxic or unhealthy, and to that I say...that's a bit strong. Let me explain. So because hazbin is kinda speedrunning it's plot (which I understand bc limitations on episodes and seasons green lit) we don't get to deeply know all the characters and specifics on why they make certain choices and how they ended up the way they did so we have to rely on the broad and limited information provided in each episode.

Based on the 6 episodes released, we can tell Charlie is very optimistic, to a fault at times, passionate, a go getter with some direction, very empathetic, ablivious at times, and ultimanty wants to be a leader but lacks the confidence and authority (despite begin a princess bc we love the royal that doesn't know how to rule troupe, genuinely) to be one.

Vaggie on the other hand, is like Charlie, very kind, but isn't as willing to put faith in a person till they've proven they deserve it, protective, loyal, good intended, not very trusting, lacks confidence, and dependent on Charlie.

Now when you put these two together, while the two do help eachother supplement what the other lacks, whether through reassurance, doing what the other can't or doesn't want to do, or giving the other what they need at the moment, even if that isn't them, it's clear who relies more on the other. After it's revealed how Vaggie and Charlie met, it really reframes Vaggie's character. No longer is she just a slightly insecure girlfriend who just wants to make sure her partner is happy and is being supportive and good enough to her, she's now a character who has bad identity issues. I mean can you blame her?! Her whole life disappeared in an instance and started all over when Charlie found her. I imagine they haven't really been apart since then except for a couple hours maybe, but never for days or longer. And being with someone for so long especially in an unfamiliar place, of course you become attached to them. Add Charlie basically saving Vaggie's life, there's an imbalance there. A feeling of indebtedness even if Charlie never said Vaggie owed her bc wow that would be way out of character.

Now as I mentioned before, Charlie is a bit ablivious to certain things, she's especially ablivious to how vaggie feels and what she's going through. Now that's not entirely her fault, she didn't know Vaggie was an angel and that Vaggie may feel indebted to her for saving her life, but also it's clear Charlie doesn't understand social cues and again, because of her trust in Vaggie, she'd assume Vaggie would tell her anything that was wrong or bothering her since the contrary just isn't something established in there relationship. And if Vaggie didn't want to talk about something she'd say it, not lie. Like in all honesty I think Charlie won't be upset by Vaggie being an angel, but rather hiding it. Now it may sound like alot to ask of Vaggie, but again, Charlie is under the impression that Vaggie would be explicit about what to talk and not talk about. Also Charlie may be hurt because she may feel like Vaggie doesn't trust her enough or think she wouldn't accept her. So I get both sides.

So to me there relationship feels like any relationship, complicated. The relationship Itself isn't unhealthy, but some of the actions of the two involved aren't healthy or the best. Don't think I forgot about Charlie being pushy at times, I understand why she does it, but combine it with her abliviousness it's not so great. I definitely think Charlie and Vaggie can bounce back and maybe the two can have a moment together that helps the two be better together and separate. Which brings me to another thing I'd like to talk about.

My hope for Chaggie in the future is this. In the next episode, the two give eachother space, and they hangout with people in the hotel. I like the idea of Vaggie, Husk, and or Angel hanging out. Charlie and Lucifer or Charlie, Sir Pentious, Husk, or Angel spending time with her. Then half way or 3 quarters through the episode Vaggie and Charlie have a moment together after talking and hangingout with the others, talk about it/maybe apologize, make up, and have there first kiss in the show (other gestures like their foreheads touching or noses touching or a combination of gestures work as well). Then of course setting up for the 8th episode.

Another thought I had, is also the two trying to act as if nothing happened, they continue with there plans with the hotel, then when everyone notices the obvious tension, while they want to prepare for the extermination, they also want to figureout/help Vaggie and Charlie get through what ever happened. Then I imagine they either try doing the exercises and such Charlie plans but secretly use it as a way to help Charlie and Vaggie, in the end Vaggie or Charlie blow up. Shit goes down and then they make up. Or it's still not working so they try getting the two away from eachother by saying they need help with stuff, talking to them, then the two make up. Or one last one I swear, Vaggie or Charlie say to take a break from this. Everyone does, Charlie and Vaggie talk or argue. Walk different ways, Vaggie stays at the hotel and Charlie leaves the hotel. After the two end up figuring shit out, I like to think Charlie got into some shit, Vaggie saves her, they talk as they deal with the trouble Charlie's in, make up, and have an intimate moment.

Now the last thing I wat to say is kinda related but not, so if you came just for Chaggie you can leave. Anyways, with the current state of chaggie (especially with the lack of typical romantic intimacy) I noticed people shipping Charlie x Emily. And while yes I see it, personally I don't ship it just because they've only met in episode 6, they're too similar, and in my opinion, I like them as friends. With that being said, I do like them together so long as Charlie is still with Vaggie. Like I just love Charlie and Vaggie together so much, I don't want them to split. So either I'd have them as a throuple, or Charlie is dating them both but Emily and Vaggie are just friends. Either one is a pretty interesting shipping dynamic and great for fanfiction. Also just to clarify, I'm not hating on Emily x Charlie, it's just not one I'm strong about. So if you like it, more power to you. And you know what, I'll probably still look at content of it anyways cause even if it isn't my fav it's still cute.

Uh anyways, I hope you enjoyed my word vomit and thoughts? Idk how to end this...uh goodbye!

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #charlie x vaggie #chaggie #hazbin hotel emily #charlie x emily #vaggie x charlie x emily #shipping

[cyberrose2001]

Kinktober: Day 9

Prompt: Spanking

TFA Sentinel x afab gn human!reader

Warnings: Spanking, degradation, fingering, size difference, roleplaying.

Word Count: 1,542

Got a little carried away with this... just a little... i hope y'all enjoy

@sentinelprimeswife because she requested the character and wanted to be tagged :)

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the fleshy that's been snooping around on my ship," Sentinel slams the airlock shut, turning towards you with an authoritative posture, "You didn't think we'd have surveillance cameras, did you?"

You jump at the boom of the airlock, whipping your head around to face Sentinel like a deer in headlights. All you wanted to do was check out the weird spaceship in the dead centre of the city, but naturally, you got curious and slipped past the invisible shield through a hidden opening.

Well, that's what you would say if all this wasn't roleplay.

Everyone thinks that Sentinel is organic-repulsed, that he finds humans so disgusting and pathetic. But it's all a cover-up. His attraction to humans feels shameful and is considered an abomination, in his words. So he plays pretend so as to not make the other bots suspicious. But occasionally, there's an opportunity to play for real, with a little human Jazz made friends with.

It's cute really, how much it turns Sentinel on, to wield his power over you, a tiny human that has no business gettin' flirty with alien robots.

You feign fear, not expecting him to find you so soon. Though that's a bit stupid of you to think when your hiding place was Sentinel's private office. But it wasn't entirely an accident.

"I'm sorry sir," You back yourself up against the large desk, much too large for you, "I-I was just curious-"

"Oh you were curious, were you?" Sentinel scoffs, striding over to you, "You humans have a saying, now what was it- ah yes, curiosity killed the tiger."

"Cat."

"Whatever," Sentinel rolls his optics, "My point is, you've got some nerve sneaking around on my ship, squishy. And that's enough to warrant punishment for a Cybertronian, let alone a human."

You bite your lip, "What kind of punishment are we talking about, sir?"

Sentinel looks down at you, getting an absolute kick out of the difference in size. His derma tugs at the corner, "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

You watch with ardour as he walks around to his chair behind the desk and sits down, though his posture seems more relaxed. He clears his vocalizer, a garbled static with a hidden excitement, "Well? Are ya gonna come out from the front of my desk or what?"

Taking a small gulp, you briskly walk behind his desk where he sits, standing next to his pedes. You don't dare look up at him, half out of embarrassment for what's to come and half from the sheer nausea-inducing height difference from this angle.

"Now, instead of just standing there, why don't you come closer?" Sentinel scowls, returning to his assertive personality after faltering for a moment. He leans down with an outstretched servo, and before you can even blink, he literally scoops you up to his eyeline. God if you weren't having head spins before, you sure are now.

"Hey don't do that I'll-"

"Don't even say it, you freak me out enough." Sentinel lies through his dentae, but he pulls a one-eighty real quick when he flips you on your stomach with a finger, "Arch your back struts, that's an order."

Ohhh. You know exactly where this is going now. He wants to spank you into obedience. You weren't going to lie, Sentinel is definitely the type of mech to have this kind of kink. Though a bit tamer than you were expecting, the thought of getting spanked by Sentinel sends a shiver of arousal to your core.

So you obey, arching your back for him. He, surprisingly, helps you out by bending his middle digit so you can drape your upper body over it. He's got a full view, tight jeans showing off all your humanly curves.

Sentinel's breath hitches, he can't help but bask in the warmth of your soft, pliable body. How you just melt into his servo and bend so fluidly. But he's getting distracted. He'll let himself lose control later, for now, he'll try to maintain at least some of his dignity.

"Look at you, taking orders like a good organic," Sentinel taunts, using his other servo to trace down your back, "I half expected you to put up a fight; a bit disappointing actually."

You don't have the nerve to say anything, afraid that you'll say something you'll regret. Because it's only a matter of seconds before Sentinel notices the small wet patch seeping through your jeans.

"Not talking?" Sentinel teases again, trailing a digit to your ass, "I guess I'll just have to make you scream."

Sentinel wiggles his digit behind the waistband of your jeans, pulling them down to your knees. If he didn't notice how wet you were before, he most certainly does now. He groans at the sight of the foreign sticky fluid soaking through your underwear, his spike involuntarily pulses behind his panel. Oh, what he would give to bend you over his desk right now. But you're far too small for his length.

"If my knowledge of humans is correct, I would say that you like this." Sentinel runs his fingertip across your ass, "How pathetic."

Before you could open your mouth to actually give him a comeback, he strikes the fat of your ass with a flick of his digit. A simple move on his part, but it was enough force to send you forward and make you cry out.

"There's your first one," Sentinel soothes the area, rubbing the reddened area gently, "Let's see how much more you can take, trespasser."

He does it again with just as much force but on your other ass cheek, watching how the soft flesh jiggles. Though he's 'punishing' you, he watches your every move and listens out for your safe word, making sure he's not pushing you to your limit.

A gush of arousal seeps between your legs at the third slap, back arching outwards like a cat with each one in a kneejerk reaction. Tears start to prick at your eyes at the sting, but you don't bother wiping them away. You know Sentinel likes to see the reactions he gets out of you.

Nearly half an hour passes, and your ass is red-raw, jeans ripped off long ago, crumpled on the desk. You're like a trembling leaf in his servo, which now collects a small pool of your fluids in his palm. You never once complained or back-chatted, taking your punishment like a good little organic. Sentinel's spike slipped past his array a while ago, and now resorts to grinding against the desk in replacement for his hands being full.

"One more," Sentinel pants, hips softly grinding against the desk, "Be a good little human and take one more for me..."

"Sentinel, please..." You whimper out, prepping yourself for the next sting. It comes swiftly, causing a shaky cry from you. But you take it, letting the tears run down your face and onto the digit you rest heavily on.

"Good... very good," Sentinel groans, rewarding you with a few pats on your back, "You took that a lot better than expected, I suppose you deserve a little repayment."

You half expected him to slap you again, but he doesn't. Instead, he moves your underwear to the side and rubs the tip of his digit against your soaking slit. The relief of finally getting some stimulation to your numbed nervous system causes a rush of exhilaration, and you can't help but grind against his digit.

"Please... I've been good," You shiver as you feel him press past your folds, "I promise I won't snoop around on your ship again I swear- nghffh!"

"I've heard enough of your yapping," Sentinel pushes his digit the rest of the way inside you, growling at how hot and tight you feel, "All I wanna hear from you now is those little whimpers, you understand?"

"Mhm," You moan as he thrusts and curls inside you, wet squishy sounds accompanying your whimpers, "Yes, sir."

"Good little organic..." Sentinel pants, resuming his grinding against the desk, focusing on how your tight cunt eagerly swallows him up, "Primus, I bet you'd look so tiny on my spike, wouldn't you?"

"Yes sir," You're so fucking desperate to cum at this point, you start bouncing your ass on his finger, imagining it's his thick spike stretching and filling you out, "Fuck... nffnn-"

"Bet you'd be so warm too," He groans, close to finishing on his own, "Frag it-"

Sentinel cries out as he shoots thick ropes of transfuid across his desk, spike throbbing with yearning. Though trembling through his overload, his relentless thrusts of his digit buried inside you only hasten.

And before long, he's watching you cum hard around his finger, impaling yourself as much as you can on him. You cry, scream and jerk as you work yourself through it. Fluid drips from between your shaking thighs, running down your legs as you collapse on his hand.

Sentinel half-laughs half sighs in exhaustion, slipping his finger out and flopping back onto his chair. He lifts you back to his level, petting your limp form with a shaky servo, "Guess you're good for somethin' after all, human."

#tfa #tfa sentinel #tfa sentinel x reader #tfa x reader #transformers animated x reader #transformers x reader #valveplug #cyberrosewrites #kinktober 2023 #cyberroses kinktober 2023

[kaunis-sielu]

Dangerous Places: 3

“Here’s what we’re gonna do.” Winter says after another hour of questions. How old are you? How did you get out? How did you get mixed up in Hydra? What are you hiding from us? Who did you belong to? Over and over, like they were trying to catch you in a lie. You give them as little as you can, you know better than to give them ammunition to use against you. Honestly, you’re kind of surprised that they haven’t dragged Peter in here yet to use against you.

“We’re gonna bring her back. A peace offering.” He says and your heart plummets into your stomach.

“I’d rather you just kill me yourself.” You tell him seriously, you still haven’t told them who you’d belonged to, and if you can avoid it you’ll continue to keep that to yourself. Crossbones is second in command at Hydra now, at least from what you heard on the streets, you didn’t know what the two men would do with the information.

“No.” Captain says and Winter looks sharply over at him.

“What?”

“Since when are you the boss of the Howlies Buck? You don’t get to make those decisions.”

“Your judgement is clouded!”

“Maybe.” Captain agrees, “but we’re not just turning her over to them. I don’t want to ally with Hydra, I want to destroy them.”

“I know but,”

“No.” He growls and the ferocity in that single word is enough to make goosebumps rise on your arms. “We play this the way we have been, she changes nothing.”

“You’re going to just let her go?” Hope springs in your chest, please say yes, please say he’s just going to let you go.

“No, she’ll stay here until this is over.”

“Wait. What no.” You say finally interrupting their conversation about you. “I can’t just stay here.”

“Buck, go help Sam.” Captain says ignoring you until Winter swaggers out of the room, “Why not?” He asks.

“I have a job. A life. I can’t stay here.”

“Where do you work?”

“107. I’m a bartender, I can’t just not show up for work.”

“Not a problem.” Captain says sounding bored as you slip off of the counter and limp your way over to him.

“I cannot get fired.”

“You won’t.”

“You haven’t met my boss.” You argue and he pulls his phone from his pocket.

“Who? Thor?” He says still not looking at you.

“How do you know Thor?”

“I’m his boss.”

“You’re, what?”

“His boss, and yours apparently. Although he’s supposed to tell me when we have new hires so we’ll be having a conversation about that tomorrow. Consider yourself on paid leave.”

“You can’t do that.”

“I absolutely can. I own 107 and Nomad’s, as well as the building you were living in and a few other properties.”

“I can’t stay here all my stuff,”

“Is being picked up. Any other concerns that I can handle for you?” You scowl up at him but Captain only grins down at you. “Let me know what kind of food you want to eat and I’ll have someone pick it up.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you’re a liability. Hydra thinks I’m willing to cooperate but if they find out I’m hiding one of Rumlow’s girls in one of my buildings shit is gonna hit the fan. I won’t be able to convince them I didn’t know, I run too tight a ship for that. So I’m keeping you here, safe, protected and out of sight until I destroy them.”

“How did you know I was with him?”

“I know what his brand looks like. Last time I was too late, I won’t make that mistake again.” He gaze darkens and you very quickly decide not to ask. “So, this is your life until I destroy Hydra.”

“Um no thanks.” You tell him moving toward the door. You know he’s just humoring you as pain ripples through your foot with each step.

“What are you planning on doing Bunny? You’re hurt and I’ve caught you once.”

“I will not be controlled again.”

“Don’t think of it as control, think of it as protection.” You turn to scowl at him and stumble backwards with how close he’s standing to you. Captain catches your arm and gently rights you, “I know you don’t want this Bunny but if I could think of a better way to not have to bring you back I would.”

“Let me go.” You beg, it’s hard to look at him because you’re on the verge of tears but you force them back.

“I can’t.” He says, he looks like he actually feels bad that he can’t let you go. “I want this shit over as soon as possible but I have to be careful.”

“What does that have to do with me? I’m not his anymore, I never wanted to be his like that.”

“What do you mean?” You open your mouth but words don’t come, instead a sob passes your lips and he holds out a hand for you but he moves too quickly and you flinch away. He doesn’t move, just freezes where he’s standing and you attempt a half step back away from him but you bump into the couch. When you risk a glance up at him he looks furious, you drop your gaze immediately and pray that you haven’t offended him.

“You don’t leave.” He says tightly before stalking out of the room. The door slams shut behind him and a soft whimper passes your lips. You sink back onto the back of the couch and look down at your throbbing feet, blood has seeped through one of the bandages so you slide to the floor and crawl your way to where you know the first aid kit is. You’re not too concerned about the blood, feet bleed forever and you haven’t been overly gentle with your feet.

You sit on the floor and add more gauze to your feet, wrapping them tighter than Captain had so the bleeding will hopefully stop. You’ve got to clean the floor too, there’s a blood trail leading from the door to the couch. Captain is still unpredictable, you know he was furious when he left, the slamming of the door told you that, but you don’t know why. That makes you uneasy.

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