#not just hedonism and murder

[pen-of-roses]

Longing

(TW: Implied suicidal ideation, potential self-harm, blood, references to death and being buried alive. It's a kinda heavy one)

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial, I present Conor having angst:

This was not the type of place he ever lingered, if he had ever even visited. The very ground itself forbidden to him and him alone.

That was perhaps, not the truth, given that others, though few, shared his condition similarly enough, and it wasn’t as though it burned his very skin. But it took hold of something in his chest, wrapping it’s dark painful claws around that thing, and threatened to rip and tear until there was nothing left. And he had such little will to stop it.

That grip was not pity, nor grief. At least not for them.

It was not forbidden in the sense he could not touch it, because oh, had he so many times before. But he could not keep it, and it refused to keep him.

He was frozen, staring out over the rows and rows and rows of field and grass. Stones, statues, and simple markers some could only just afford stared back at him. Taunted him. 

We offer rest. We offer peace. We hold memories and proof that they were loved and someone cared enough to place us here.

His fingers dug into cold, smooth stone, sapping away his blood’s warmth only slightly, until it cut and brought it hot to the surface.

You still bleed, and you still live. And you will forever.

Perhaps he should be grateful for them. They were, after all, evidence that the dead were not immediately burned or discarded or carved up or worse, sent to the waves, here. As such, he would only have to dig through the dirt to freedom if something went wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time. Though those were often unmarked.

A group huddled around one now, a gaping dark hole in the otherwise well cared for ground. Or so he could imagine without being able to see through the bodies this far away, though not far enough for their cries to die in the wind before him. 

Mourners.

On some shards people were assigned to if no one was there for the dead. 

This groups’ grief was loud with many voices though, pressed tight together. 

His teeth ground together and his jaw ached.

Lucky.

Perhaps he did have one out there somewhere. Perhaps someone who had seen him fall or heard somehow, but couldn’t find a body, added his name to one of the simple wooden stakes. Perhaps it was enough that they shed a single tear over it too. Perhaps they had even given him a last name.

But if anyone had, it would have been long lost to time.

Like he should’ve been.

If anyone had, it was a pointless gesture anyway. Proof they hadn’t known him long enough to understand. And all that would be left to show for it was a meaningless empty grave for one who could never fill it.

#writeblr #writing #excerpt #amwriting #tw: blood #tw: suicidal ideation #kinda implied #tw: potential self harm #potentially depending on how you view an action #conor #immortality against his will #not just hedonism and murder #also sad and lonely #this one's kinda heavy ya'll #i suppose i should technically tag this #duskend wip #but conor is also just conor so

[astrxealis]

hi... i'm thinking about zenos. i love his character sm.

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #lots of thoughts mhm but yeah. zenos is pretty special to me #i used to almost 'kin' him (just for fun! also not in the murder way) and tbh i still kinda do but idk i'm not organized w kinning n all #but yeah i really get him! which is kinda concerning now that i think about it #considering he's like. his stuff is w hedonism/nihilism/depression/ennui yeah #and he's very battle-horny ... i'm just a normal person LMAO and i don't condone all that he did #but i love his relationship w the wol. dear friend. enemy. rival. hunter and prey #there is a poetry to it and it's not tragic in the way elidibus is w wol? nor sweet like w graha #it is. dark. and almost sad tbh for me bcs like lyse said 'zenos was just a baby once too' #and. yeah! he is so dark and i love it and he just sgrhgejdjs my braincells ...... #it's interesting bcs i think it is extremely understandable to hate zenos #but i never have at all even if his actions are Yeah #but i also think that. if you hate zenos a Lot... you just don't get his character #which is fine tbh! everyone has different tastes and sometimes don't understand the point of a character #or just don't like it which is also fine bcs people have preferences #but imo i just think that zenos is so good of a character #and i see myself in him too but much more toned-down for SURE #i forgot to post this many hours ago. uh hi

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain #so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash #i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent #what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving #is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt #and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists #so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character #so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of #'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him' #but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid #and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like #the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of #being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths #then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part #and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts #and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine #this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer #and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like #how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil #and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit #like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma #but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel #and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple #bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed #but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal

[stjuice]

Belong to You

sukuna x reader

blurb: you’re finally ready to be his one and only.

wc: 2.4k

tw: mentions of sex and murder, reader stepping into her worth, sukuna wants you (to be happy)

Listen to Belong to you by Sabrina Claudio

--------- --------- ---------

“Release them.”

You are right to ask for this. To demand it. You’ve never been the only one, but you’ve become the only one that matters. You see it in his gaze, feel it in his touch, taste it on your tongue. He has them, but you are his. The closest thing to a treasured companion that a man like him could possess.

Master Sukuna.

You bring him more pleasure than all of them combined. It’s more than fucking, it’s lingering touches and unreadable looks and actual conversation. They’re sex, but you’re an experience. He’ll take a girl to pass the time, but he plays with you. You’re fun. You might be the best thing that ever happened to him. The only thing stopping you from claiming this coveted spot is—well, you.

Honestly, you’re not even sure why he keeps them around. The times that he’s insisted you join him in his chambers just for him to sit you in your favorite chair while you watch him fuck one of them into a gushing, babbling mess are some of the most confusing moments of your life.

He always looks so bored. Mechanical movements, barely breaking a sweat, watching you the whole time. Why bother? The last time, he didn’t even finish! It doesn’t make sense. He’s always been so uninhibited. So selfish. You really can’t understand what might’ve changed.

He’s the Disgraced One. Master Sukuna has spent his entire existence getting to this point, all so he can enjoy life as he pleases. Indulging his every desire, no matter how dark, twisted or socially unacceptable. He’s freedom incarnate. It’s what drew you to him in the first place.

If people could blind their morality for just a second, they could see him as you do: a soul so free of expectation and insecurity and sublimation, of the worries and fears we have all been conditioned with since birth. He’s sprawled before you now, contained within fresh flesh and blood, but he had a life even before he was a reincarnated curse. He was a regular human, subject to the same societal influence that plagues us all. And he let it all go. He broke free.

He’s an inspiration.

Were he a god, his worshipers would offer their first born to be blessed with the gift of pure carnal hedonism only he could bestow. Of course, for him, even the life of a god is too low. He has no plans to serve anyone beyond his own self-interest. He will never let anything tie him down. But lately, it seems he’s forgotten the very words he graced you with many months ago, strong fingers curled deep inside of you as you gasped above him, following his direction, learning his philosophy.

Take all you want. Hold nothing back.

How can he say that and then turn around and waste his time, his energy, his life on women who give him nothing? Honestly, you’re doing this for him. You can’t believe you’re even thinking this but, he needs to remember who he is. He needs to let go of that which no longer serves him. He needs to get these women off your property.

Most importantly, you want him to.

Enough to make you repeat yourself.

“Release them.”

Sukuna glares down at you from his throne of bones, the picture of intimidation. Your gaze doesn’t waver.

“Why?”

He knows why. He’s been expecting it. Still, his curiosity is peaked. Why now? All this time, you’ve been satisfied with the arrangement all his women share. A small piece of him, sliced into tinier shards and spread evenly among each of his whores. At times, he’d throw in an extra boon just to watch them tear each other apart for a slight increase in his favor (ha!). All except you. You’ve always accepted everything as is. Never asking for more, never expecting anything. It’s the very thing that drew him to you in the first place.

You understood your role in his world: satisfy his physical needs and stay out of his sight.

While all the rest would push their luck for an extra second of his time, a chance to win him over, you were out the door before the sheets could cool. You were a refreshing change of pace. Not dead inside, merely reserved.

At first, you feigned disinterest at anything aside from your duty. Outside of his arms, you didn’t seem to want to truly live. A pretense. You played your role well, but he saw the sparks of fire you tried to hide when he’d push you past your comfort zone, going a little further every time. Learning your limits, then extending them as he saw fit. Showing you it’s possible to grow beyond your repressed expectations. In his bed and in your life.

With a little warming up, he could tell you enjoyed the stretch. He learned to pay great attention when you were loose enough to let your mask slip. He didn't show it but, in those brief moments, he would hang onto your every word, knowing it was the closest thing to your truth that you could exhibit at that point. You didn’t say much (too often, he'd push you past the realm of coherent thought), but it was a start.

The challenge you presented proved to be an acceptable remedy for his usual boredom. He was satisfying his curiosity. Uncovering the many pieces of your personality one by one. Surprised to find some of those pieces looked familiar. There was more to you than he thought. And you knew it. You were deliberately keeping yourself from him. You underestimated him. Looped him in with all the rest, as if he couldn’t recognize potential when he saw it.

You used to insist that you would never take more of him than he was willing to give, knowing that, typically, he wouldn’t care to give you much of anything at all. That was before he’d caught a glimpse of the person trapped beneath the placid expression you would give to pretend you were beyond selfish desire. Hear you tell it, you couldn’t dream of asking for more.

He knows better. He knows you.

You were afraid. Not of death, not of him, no— your fear stemmed from within. Imaginary consequences imposed and reinforced by human society. He understood. Sukuna himself was once just as human as you. Intelligent, talented, miserable. Forced to find his place in the community, take orders, play it small.

Resentful.

Wrestling with the notion that his experience in life could expand so much further than the constraints they tried to place on him. Angry, he prodded at the bars of his cage with his cursed energy and learned a most valuable lesson.

The one advantage curses have over humanity is their lack of inhibition.

Each curse is born with a single directive: to be no more or less than what it is. Not to worry about the consequences of its actions. Not to water down its nature to appease the group mentality, preserving a false sense of order in a world built for chaos. It was this realization that set him free. Once he recognized that the key to unlock his joy was within him all along, he didn’t hesitate to use it. He embraced his power and received everything he wanted, like a reward for good behavior.

The little bits of his story he shared weren’t much, just enough to get you started. You’re observant. Perceptive. He was amused to see you caught on to the idea pretty quickly, though you took your time applying it. Predictable, but that was to be expected. Even he needed time to adjust, to trust himself over everything else. Instead of pushing you, he waited. You needed to want it for yourself or it would never stick.

In time, you began to experiment. He watched you dip your toe in little by little, testing the limits of your beliefs, risking more, stumbling less, building that crucial bond of trust with yourself. And with him. It was surprisingly gratifying to witness.

An experiment with only one test subject is biased at best, but you supplied new data. Your willing participation confirmed his theory: When one commits to embracing their authentic self unapologetically, life rewards them in equal measure. No one understands that like him.

No one but you.

You’ve fascinated him. Held his attention far longer than anyone has before, and there’s still so much to see. You’re not done. True freedom requires consistency. It isn’t rigid, there are no concrete rules. You’re allowed to refine your definition of self, your actions and desires and goals, as many times as you want.

In his experience, his meager goals in the beginning pale in comparison to what he has now. Rather, consistency refers to the daily commitment. Constantly proving to yourself, and everyone else by association, that you know your worth and will settle for nothing less.

Today marks a boost in your progress but you have much further to go. Still, this request proves to him, to yourself, that you are changed. You’re deliberately walking the path to release your worries and fears so that you can step, unrestricted, into the shoes you were always meant to fill.

Gradually returning to the perfect soul you were when you entered this world, ready and willing to do and have whatever you wanted. It will take time (decades) to find your way back to that level of self-determination. But, it is possible. You’ll find that it gets easier with practice. This is a good start.

You’re beginning to see him. To know better. There’s no need to settle for less than you deserve. You belong to him more than anyone ever has before. More than anyone ever will.

For you, he’s willing to bend, if only to watch your eyes flare to life for longer than a few moments at a time. He’s been plagued with the possibility you might share his drive to be your best self, your true self. If you are anything like him, your soul demands you put your needs above all else in your life. Including the Strongest Sorcerer in History. You are right to expect this. Just as he is right to challenge your expectation.

You’ve already repeated yourself once, a concession he would never give. No matter. The point is not to become him (impossible), rather to let go of everything holding you back from living your life the way you’re meant to. Sukuna would wait for no one to carry out his own wishes. He would take delight in the act of handling them personally.

You might have tried to do the same, if your goal was to impress him.

But it’s not his approval you seek. This is all about you. You, who could be marching them out the doors at this very second, using whatever means necessary to make them comply. Instead, you choose to state your expectation and wait for him to meet it.

There is no bloodlust within you demanding satisfaction. You are no killer. You simply wish to be acknowledged in the way you know you deserve. With such a clear yet open-ended goal in mind, the method to reach it is inconsequential.

You know as well as he that these women do not need to die. But you chose him to fulfill your request. Sukuna, a man who kills for sport, who will take every chance to play. He is no savior. If he is to release anyone from anything, he’d start with releasing their souls from their bodies by way of a gruesome death. You’re no killer, but you’ve allowed space in your words for him to interpret your message as he sees fit, so long as the prime objective is met. In following your selfish desire, you’ve made a choice that perfectly complements his own chosen path.

Your power is entirely different from his own, yet it seems your impact has the potential to be no less devastating. This is the way you make things happen in your world. You are fascinating. Perhaps he’s met his match.

It may be early to tell as of yet. You’ve still got much room to grow. This is just a rung on the ladder you’re building to reach past the glass ceiling you’ve imposed on you’re highest self. Are you truly ready to take this step? His "why?" is part curiosity part test— to see if you buckle, shrink yourself to appease him instead of standing in your truth, no matter the consequence.

He notices your stiff posture, tight shoulders and clenched fists. This is not easy for you. A big step. For that reason, he’s all the more pleased to note that, for all your trembling, your gaze hasn’t dropped once. Your eyes lock steady on his as you direct him, finally staking your claim.

“When they’re gone, come to me.”

Your wish is his command.

---------

Later that night, after all the screams have finally died down (cries of love and pleasure— you; shrieks of death and terror— them), you’re cuddled, panting and secure in his arms. You can’t remember the last time you’ve ever felt so satisfied. Your entire life has led up to this moment, the mere tip of your iceberg, and already it is more than words can say. You’ve long accepted his desire to kill, but to witness him kill for you is… better than sex.

Invigorating.

Your body is spent, but, inside, you're buzzing. Full of energy. Not cursed energy, but the regular, marvelous energy available to us all. Energy that you’ve created just by doing what you wanted. Energy that you can use to fulfill any other wish you could ever have. It’s addicting.

You could live in this moment, here in his arms, for the rest of your life yet, as wonderful as it is, it would not be enough. This is just a taste of the life you could lead— the power you could wield. There’s no way you can stop now.

Still, if there’s one thing you’ve learned so far, it’s to treat every loss as a learning experience and every win as the greatest victory yet. A year in and you’ve already bagged the King of Curses? You’re on a fucking roll. You fully intend to bask in this moment.

“Ryomen…”

You stare into his eyes as you gently trace your fingers along the markings so unique to him, daring to say the words no person has ever been free to speak before.

“You’re mine now.”

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a/n: if you made it this far, thanks for reading my first story. after being an avid fanfiction reader for many years and across many fandoms, jujutsu kaisen is the one that finally got me to write 😂 i regret nothing.

#stjuice writes #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader #ryomen x reader #jjk sukuna #sukuna x you #jjk x you #jjk x reader #sukuna fanfic

[verygoodbeastarsfaces]

okay i know this is mostly a goofy manga cap page but fuck it im gonna do some analysis too

so bald legosi arc right? legosi is trying to train his body for combat WITHOUT using meat to give himself the fuel he needs to bulk up. legosi sees eating meat as morally wrong and especially hypocritical for himself personally because the reason he seeks strength is in order to PROTECT herbivores from violence at the hands of carnivores

ENTER PINA COLADA

i love pina colada because im a nasty messy bitch who loves causing problems and i love pina for matching that energy. really i do. but i'm very okay with admitting that my enjoyment of pina is superficial, so i started asking myself WHY pina is Like This™

OKAY SO this scene right here got something across to me that the anime absolutely did not. so we've kind of established that the carnivore herbivore dynamic in the world of beastars is a very complicated metaphor that means different things at different times. its not JUST race relations, its not JUST sexuality, its not JUST inequality, it is everything about a society through this lens of animal instinct to highlight whatever particular criticism is being dissected. AND THIS PAGE!!! is about PRIVILEGE!!!

"I'm here trying to control my desires, and he just does whatever the hell he wants." Legosi is viewing pina's freedom to speak his mind and live freely as something he gains in his life via a position of privilege. Pina will never be consumed by the instinct to murder and cannibalize his loved ones, and so pina can pursue life in a flippant, disingenuous and carefree manner.

and legosi FUCKING HATES THISSSSS because the entire bald legosi arc is about legosi trying to EMPOWER HIMSELF THROUGH SELF HATRED. legosi's refusal to eat meat to fuel his body the way it NEEDS to be fueled when stressed and trained the way hes training is not something done out of moral obligation, it is done as a way for legosi to try and forcibly EXCISE a part of his innate BIOLOGY that he HATES.

but yknow heres something else. this doesnt sound right to me. pina is hedonistic, sure, but why is his philosophy specifically "morals don't really do us much good" and not something more, lets say, benevolently hedonistic?

our girl haru gives us our answer.

while legosi views pina's devil may care attitude as a privilege, so too do herbivores view carnivore's strength as a privilege. pina will never be COMPELLED to murder and cannibalize, but legosi will never be TARGETED to be murdered and cannibalized. pina's casual disregard and DISRESPECT of the real danger legosi presents to him (that legosi NEVER allows himself to forget) is a defense mechanism in the same way haru's sexuality is for her. pina has absorbed and internalized exactly where he stands in this world, and through taunting the carnivores around him, he feels feels empowered in the same way haru's sexuality empowers her. pina is hedonistic because he is living every day as if it were his last, squeaking out whatever pleasure the world has to offer carelessly, because if people love him, he has power over them.

And if he taunts a carnivore and lives to tell the tale, then in that moment, he had power over them. This power struggle is the CORE of beastars, where humanity and instinct collide and give us the messy, deeply fucked up world this story takes place in. Pina is a character driven to recklessness and hedonism by his own disenfranchisement in a world where cannibalistic murders are commonplace and yet life goes on. It must go on, and this is how pina goes on.

i love pineapple boy

#beastars #beastars pina #beastars legoshi #beastars legosi #legosi #legoshi #if you like pina coladas #meta #analysis #long post #mod dannen speaks #not a good face

[anhilliator1]

I feel like something needs to be stated about the four Chaos Gods -

THEY'RE NOT INHERENTLY EVIL.

They're unbalanced. Let me explain:

Khorne: Chaos God of War, Death, Violence, Rage, Murder, etc... Long story short, Khorne likes to kill things and/or see things die - "Khorne cares not from where the blood flows." As a result, it would be very easy to assume that he's pure evil - but no. Khorne also represents Justice, honor, courage, strength - Without Khorne, there would be no such thing as "Righteous Fury." Fighting for what is right technically falls under his domain as well. In a sense, he could be considered the Chaos God of Morality. In fact, he strongly dislikes underhanded tactics, hence why he often finds himself at odds with Tzeentch.

Nurgle: Chaos God of disease, decay, rot, stagnation, and so on. Nurgle is commonly associated with the color green, for good reason. As said, disease, death, rot, stagnation - but also resilience, rebirth, and consistency in everything. Technically speaking, he's the Chaos God of life and nature. No Nurgle, absolutely everything would be inconsistent. There would be no such thing as safety, because there would be no consistent definition of what "safe" is.

Tzeentch: CG of instability, inconsistency, trickery, manipulation, cunning, lies, deciet, and change. He plays you like a fiddle, and what you may think is reality may not be true. He's like Mysterio, but a gajillion times more powerful. However, he also represents hope, evolution, the ability to problem solve, and more. Tzeentch is the reason why Guile Heroes exist in 40K, and can be said to at least partially be empowered by the actions of people like Creed and Ciaphas Cain. As TTS puts it, "Without him, there would be no evil schemes, but also no one clever enough to save people from those schemes." Also, change isn't inherently evil - change is constantly happening, all the time, something that puts him at odds with Nurgle due to him being Stagnation. Funny thing, Happy Chaos from GGST can sort of be considered Tzeentch if he was more balanced rather than inclined evil.

Now, Slaanesh - Hedonism, sex, lust, pleasure, indulgence, suffering, etc... Hell, they were literally murder-fucked into existence by the Eldar. But, they also represent Passion, Joy, hell, maybe even the concept of emotion itself. Passion, it must be mentioned, is not restricted to the sexual kind - it's the creative kind, the "for-a-cause" kind - same with Pleasure. You gain pleasure from doing things you love, not inherently sexual - and technically, without Slaanesh, there would be no meaning to doing, well, anything - no happiness, no sadness so that happiness means anything, no enjoyment and no disgust, no love or hate... I think you get the idea.

The Chaos Gods represent important mental concepts inherent to all life, and all thoughts of said life - good or bad.

So why are they villains? As said, they're unbalanced, courtesy of the Necrontyr royally screwing things up by messing with the Great Old Ones and the C'Tan. As a result, the Warp, once peaceful, became a violent place roiling with negative energy, some of which became Daemons. This caused each of the four and their followers to become heavily inclined towards the worst parts of what they represent, why Khorne and his followers kill and destroy anything and everything in their path, why Tzeentch and his followers will endlessly lie, cheat, manipulate, and more to make you do what they want (prisoner's dilemma is the very tippy-top of the iceberg), why Nurgle and his followers spread filth, rot, and disease everywhere they go, and why Slaanesh and their followers endlessly rape and torture.

They're unbalanced.

In fact, everything I just said can sort of be summarized by this video:

It's why in the episode of TTS this is from, I noticed the Emperor's wording when he said he would DEFEAT Chaos, not Kill, DEFEAT. I always took it to mean that he would essentially force them to "get back to work" in a sense - go back to being balanced representations of their concepts and stop interfering so much with the Material.

#chaos gods #slaanesh #khorne #tzeentch #nurgle #wh40k #warhammer 40k #40k #if the emperor had a text to speech device #Youtube #longpost #long post

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 5)

In which Tav goes a long way to assure everyone around there's no one but Astarion for her and the vampire has a staring contest with a dude-bro (and responds to it with a solid "Don't touch me!").

That's it, that's the chapter summary - I'm starting to get confused with the parts because there are (lemme count) EIGHT already written and at least a few more to go... You can read more already on my AO3 page!

There's no specific song for this chapter, but I'll happily share my ever-growing playlist that helps me write: Astarion: The Pale Elf

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Legitimate reaction of Astarion meeting Tav's former fling...)

(Wonderful gif from here!)

Astarion kept grinning at you and obviously enjoying your uneasiness – oh, you were definitely going to murder him, when this night was over.

Daegin kept babbeling towards Eodin, you quickly looked through your fingers to see that the damned man was actually approaching. With a sudden jolt you stepped close to Astarion, put both your hands on either side of his face. The vampire only had a split second of looking askingly at you before you started absolutely smothering him with his kisses.

He didn’t lose a moment to kiss you back, he never did. In fact, he loved every single bit of intimacy the two of you shared, especially since he’d been free of Cazador’s callings and had started to learn to share intimacy outside sex and the bedroom with you. Accepting love and affection for what they could be at face level was something he tried hard to become good at. So truly every touch, every look, every soft smile was deeply precious to Astarion.

Just after a second or two he got your intention and put his arms around you to pull you closer. You let your hands wander to his chest, enjoying the way your body fitted with his and almost got lost in the moment.

You two obviously were a show to watch – it surely didn’t help that Astarion had a strong inclination for hedonism despite his past. Or even more so since he was now free to indulge in it on his own accord. You’d come to enjoy this way more than you were ready to admit. So, you happily sighed into his open mouth, when he dragged a finger from your cheek, down your neck and then softly placed his long, elegant fingers on your throat in an affectionate but still possessive manner. Your pulse quickened – even after being with him for a while, you hadn’t wrapped your head around how he could be so easily seductive, elegant and sexy without it being even remotely gross or cringy.

The longer the moment kept drawing out the more you could feel the heat inside you once more. The vampire had already stirred the fire without fully setting it ablaze once before tonight. You really hoped he wouldn’t let it just die down.

While the wood and the high elf were at it, the rest of the evening party watched on. Daegin blushed and buried his whole face in his jug of beer, obviously very uncomfortable. Lira’s eyes widened, her mouth opened to a giant ‘O’ before she slapped both her hands over it. And Miyena’s mouth opened slightly, her tongue darting out to wet her lips.

And then the one called Eodin stepped up to the table. He was human, tall and broad shouldered with short auburn hair. Not un-handsome, but quite forgettable. He too seemed uneasy at the very public display of affection, so he cleared his throat and softly knocked on the table to make himself known.

You kept the kiss with Astarion going, letting your hands wandering dangerously low his front, only just stopping at the very top of his leather pants. Then you broke the kiss and turned around, cheeks all flushed and out of breath.

“Oh, Eodin! I didn’t even see you there. Sorry, I was caught up in the moment”, you said, fanning yourself with your hand and batting your eyelashes at Astarion who had now also turned to look at the new arrival. Astarion looked down at you, biting his tongue hard to not burst out laughing – you cheeky little pup. You really had learned from the master himself, Gods, was he proud of you. He quickly let his wander his hand to your behind to give you proud and thankful little pat-pat, but just so no one else would notice.

Eodin slow blinked at you, keeping his face neutral. But you’d known him long enough to recognize the line of his mouth seemed tense and he was majorly displeased by what he had just witnessed. He didn’t miss a beat though: “So good to see you, I didn’t know you were back in the city.” He let the sentence end ambivalently – not really a question, but not really a statement either. “Ah you know, I really had my hands full” – another small pat from Astarion on your back “and I had certain affairs to sort out” – pat-pat – “but I swear I had come around to say hello and catch you up one of these days.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest, his discontent now showing more clearly. The rest of the party was dead silent, they could feel the tension in the air. Eodin just kept silent and stared you down, which already started to make your blood boil. Who in the hells was he to treat you like this?

“And who might this noble gentleman be, you were so caught up in?”, he said and turned to the vampire, cold venom in his voice. “The name’s Astarion – though I am not as noble a gentleman you might’ve mistaken me for, I fear”, the elf replied, his voice icy and his stance beside you turning threatening. “No wonder, the likes of these rich, pretty know-it-all-have-it-alls never survives long in this part of city. Would take a real bastard to walk around all cocky confident and not run into trouble and get themselves killed”, Eodin spat back. “Oh, I am no stranger to trouble, but it’s usually the other party that has to fear ending up dead in a dark alleyway”, Astarion replied snidely, narrowing his red eyes at the human, not even remotely trying to hide the open threat in his words.

Your heart dropped as you watched the two men stare at each other. The moment ran on for much longer than you felt comfortable with, but the vampire didn’t seem inclined to falter under the human’s death stares anytime soon.

A few more heartbeats passed. Astarion was impossibly still beside you, completely embodying the fatal predator he could be. Then Eodin gave up, threw his head back with a laugh that didn’t sound anything close to genuine. The rest of your friends joined in, seemingly relieved that the tension was resolved.

Eodin reached over the table to slap Astarion on the back in a dude-friendly kind of manner. The elf didn’t move an inch under the tall man’s strong pats, he scrunched up his nose in disgust for a split second and you could’ve sworn you heard a hiss but it passed faster than anyone besides you could have noticed.

You looked worryingly up at Astarion who elegantly had brushed off Eodin’s hand and stepped just out of the man’s reach. But his face was now a mask that wanted to show that he had simply been kidding, kidding. You still felt the tension in his body though, the set in his shoulders and the slight passive-aggressive smirk on his lips.

As the rest around the table broke into conversation again you grabbed on of Astarion’s hands again and dragged to have him lean over to you. He turned one of his pointy ears to you so you could whisper to him: “Are you alright? Do you want us to leave?” Your whisper was so low, no one besides him could hear it. He lifted his head again, looked warmly at you with a wink. Then he leaned to whisper his quiet answer into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine: “I’ll be fine, my love, but no promises about this arsehole.” Then he placed a soft kiss on the nape just below your ear.

Then Astarion turned to face the rest of the group. “How about another round?”, he proclaimed cheerfully and was met with joyous approval.

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #if looks could kill am I right #he really said dont touch me with this one #a night of song and laughter #poro fics

[roalinda]

another very late entry for @prongsfoot-microfic 💀 but it's better late than never. 😭

☆☆☆☆

March 14 + May 27

Study + Hedonism

☆☆☆☆

"Tell her that your lap is mine." 

Sirius looked up from his Herbology book as a childish whine echoed through the common room. Accompanied with the saddest doe eyes, James sounded like either Sirius had just committed some absurd crime against humanity or had murdered all the strays in the neighbourhood. Either way, this fake pity fest of his was not going to work because James' acting skills were as poor as his eyesight. Right now, he was just jealous, not sad.

"My lap is his," said Sirius with such a poker face that could have put the most professional gamblers into eternal shame to Lily who was unabashedly lounging on the said lap and went back to reading or at least tried to.

"Tell him that sharing is caring," hummed Lily lazily before rolling her eyes, because in all honesty dating James meant dating Sirius as well. Obviously, James disagreed, unamused by her playful approaches towards his best friend.

"Sharing is caring," said Sirius monotonously, already resigned to his fate of being two overgrown children's favourite toy and being fought over and put his book aside. Not that he could read with those two bickering anyway.

"Tell her that I don't care! Your lap is off limits." James stomped his feet and Sirius snickered. "How old are you again?" 

His reply was a cushion in the face which only made Sirius laugh harder as he turned to Lily.

"He doesn't care, my lap is off limits," he parroted.

"Tell him not any more."

"Not any more," this time Sirius' eye twitched as he repeated Lily's words. 

"Tell her…"

"Can you guys just bloody admit that you want to shag Sirius and be done with it? Some of us here want to study." A frustrated voice cut in and everyone gasped.

'Great job Lupin.' 

Sirius thought sarcastically as he glared at Remus who had just presented Lily and James with unnecessary sexual fantasies as if he was shoving a handful of candies down a pair of annoying kids' throats to shut them up. 

James gaped like a fish out of water and Lily's eyes went wide. Well, at least they both had the decency to blush and while Sirius found it amusing he couldn't help but to plan Remus' penile amputation. 

"You want to shag Sirius?" James asked carefully, staring at Lily with wide hazel eyes.

"Who doesn't?" answered Lily casually, voice steady despite her flaming cheeks.

The radio silence would have been funny to Sirius if he was not the main subject of this preposterous erotica.  

"Don't tell me you have not shagged him because I won't believe it, James." 

It went without saying that Sirius was already developing a migraine.

"Actually Sirius shags James. James prefers to bottom," said Remus - the ever helpful - Lupin and James turned the same shade as Lily's hair, hiding his face into his hands. 

'Wanker.'

"Shut up. How do you even know that?" snapped Sirius.

"You guys usually forget the silencing charm and James is loud," Remus raised an eyebrow as if he was talking about tomorrow's weather.

James looked pathetically embarrassed at this point and Lily's amused gaze was making it worse. Sirius sighed in defeat at last. He should have stayed in the library today.

"I'm going to the dorm to cast silencing charms. You two come up whenever James is done with strangling Remus," he told Lily and smirked in satisfaction as James cursed Remus with a stinging hex. 

"Will the show be hot enough to compensate for my boyfriend cheating on me with his handsome best friend?" asked Lily shrewdly, green eyes shining with mischief.

"You have no idea how hot your boyfriend is when he is prettily begging for it. People would pay Galleons to see," Sirius winked cheekily.

"Black, you slut," smirked Lily suggestively. 

"So is your boyfriend. Now, go grab him. My N.E.W.T.s schedule is tight and there are two of you," Sirius laughed merrily in response, persuasive and warm.

#Prongsfoot #Jilypad #Prongsfoot microfic #James potter #Sirius black #Lily Evans

[shibara]

It's done! Have a sith!Obi-Wan, probably plotting nasty things, judging by that leer. I tidied up some thoughts on this lad's AU and figured I'd put them here under the cut, mostly to have a handy place to look them up later, and because I'm never gonna gather enough oomph to actually write a fic about it, so I might as well just headcanon-dump xD

I figured it's a bit like an Obi-Maul switch-up, with both taking the place of the other in the larger narrative: Maul's going around the galaxy with Qui-Gon grumbling mildly about picking up pathetic life forms, and Obi-Wan's been Sidious' apprentice since Palps went on vacation to Stewjon and thought "hmm, that baby over there smells like the Force and future murder".

Now, this version of Obi-Wan will grow into a being driven completely by his selfishness and hedonism. A vain and deeply greedy man, seeking the power of the dark side to own everything he finds pleasing, beautiful or satisfying in any way. And what he cannot own, he cannot bear to see in the hands of someone else.

He is terrified of his master's power, and that has kept him in line, but he's been also stewing in the rage of feeling entitled to so much, and not being free to pursue his hunger to its full extent (I'm assuming Sheev patiently cultivated this mental place for him, too, for what's more easy to manipulate than a person who Wants so much, so desperately).

The story goes mostly the same, with the switched up roles for Obi-Maul, right until the end of Phantom Menace. Obi-Wan's right about to stab Qui-Gon when he has a moment of "Huh, what a waste, though" so he just beats the shit out of them both without actually killing them, then calls Dooku going “mission, accomplished, the Jedi are neutralized, and also, I got me a souvenir :)" Dooku goes "Child, wtf, that's my old padawan“ and Obi goes “well, it's my your old Padawan now“

And this is how you all find out a friend on discord sold me on quiobi xD

#sith!obi-wan #obi-wan kenobi #star wars #my headcanons #in case anyone is blacklisting the text under the cut ends up pointing towards #quiobi #mySWart #myart

[daliasmay]

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it"

I desided to cintinue my old post with Lucien - Simba parallel🧡

My english is awful, I'm sorry, but I hope I can convey my thoughts🤓

Simba changed his diet, started eating bugs and chilling with Timon and Pumbaa according to their philosophy of life without rules and worries, forgetting his roots and his past for a while, but that didn't stop him from being a lion and a king.

The same with Lucien and his rejection of his potential future, power and responsibilities for a life which was full of hedonism (the focus on the ability to appreciate the enjoyment).

Remember Simba - he ate bugs, but beyond that he enjoyed the view, the beauty of the night sky and the adventures with his new friends. This manifested their freedom from the things which Pumbaa called vanity. I think that Lucien's life in the Spring (and in the Autumn too let's be honest, he did nothing there lol) was something so close to it. In the past. Before Amaranthe and everything that she did with the Prythian and personally with him.

Epicurus stated that the main criterion of pleasure is a successful life. The purpose of life is to avoid suffering and unhappiness because this is the only way to achieve the highest pleasure. Pleasure is good and pain is evil, so we should strive for pleasure and avoid pain. I keep thinking about Lucien's love of parties. Was it because he wanted to escape the pain, or because Lucien really loved being at the centre of society? Or both, and one doesn't exclude the other?

Lucien was always running away from his past and his life until ACOMAF, where his character changed and from that book on he lost his charm and the important parts of his personality. But at the same time I think that ACOMAF was the beginning of his personal journey of character development. Step by step from one episode to another, until he disappeared from the plot and became a character of the 100th plan lol. Sarah, please, just give us his book! His story potential is more important than some members of the inner circle.

We saw Lucien finally show his power and cool Cassian down with just one word. Cassian is the most emotional person in the IC and Lucien just said "Easy" to him, without any violence, calming him and his wild instincts. And it seems like Cassian didn't even understand and notice lol. I just hope we get to see more of this in the future.

All events that he went through all his life were his lessons, making him stronger and wiser. His life with his family, Jesminda and her tragic death, the murder of his brothers, the death of Andras and many other friends, Amarathe and the UTM, his life afterwards, the loss of Feyre as his "friend", the loss of Tamlin, SA and Ianthe's harassment, the lonely journey to the continent in search of solutions and help in the war, The loss of his second home and the place he loves, the loss of his reputation because of someone else's lie, his mating with Elain and her active ignoring his existence, his life as a hermit in the Mortal Lands with his new friends, the disrespectful behaviour of everyone in the Night Court, the potential conflict with Beron and Koschei.

He has to put his past behind him and stop living with the weight of his mistakes and his past, because even if someone prefer to believe that everything were only because of Lucien's faults or inaction, that's not entirely true. And I hope that Lucien, as a character, will understand it.

The past is in the past, but we can choose how we use it for the future.

Rafiki said to Simba: "The past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it"

For his personal growth and growing up as a character, he must take the path of self-awareness. To stop running away from pain, mistakes and trials, to stop thinking that there is something wrong with him.

Lucien must to accept his past, his mistakes and himself. He must also accept his power and the responsibility that comes with it. The responsibility for the future High Lord place from which he has always run away.

He must take the path of self-knowledge. Don't run away from pain, mistakes and trials, don't think there's something wrong with him, don't shut yourself off from the world and so on.

These are all challenges that I hope will make him stronger and wiser in the future. When he comes out of the crisis, realises his place and understands what he wants and how much he has to do, a new stage of growth, awareness and a sober look at things in his life without imaginary carelessness will begin.

Morrigan said that neither Lucien nor Elain are ready for a relationships and for the bond. And I think if they will be an endgame, they could be teachers for each other.

Both of them lived their lives full of joy and happiness. Lucien was in the Spring with his friends like Andras and Tamlin and Elain was with her human friends, society, father and Graysen.

Both Lucien and Elain must stop running. They need to stop and look around them. Face their fears and overcome them. To realise their place in the world and their role. To realise their worth and that they were born for more than gardens, a successful marriage and the status of prince or unloved son.

Realise and accept. Accept as adults. Accept all consequences, accept all burdens. Accept and work with it. Without it, there is no place for anyone to grow.

There is a lot for both of them to learn from each other.

This is what it means to allow growth and healing to take place.

#lucien vanserra #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #pro lucien vanserra #elucien #dasha: acotar thoughts

[oldshrewsburyian]

hi there! Just finished the audiobook of Dorian Grey and I have OPINIONS. Was wondering if you could recommend any reading re: flower language or other symbolism in the book?

Also I think it’s fascinating how at the end, Harry tells Dorian that he doesn’t have it in him to be a murderer, which highlights very dramatically how wrong he’s been about Dorian. In fact, I’m reminded of the epilogue of Jane Austen’s Persuasion, where Lady Russel has to learn she’s been “wrong about pretty nearly everything”. All Harry’s certainty about philosophy and hedonism and enjoyment of dominating Dorian’s personality, and he’s wrong. There’s not a single reliable narrator in the whole book.

Also also, the book that “poisoned” Dorian - is that a reference to a real world book from Wilde’s time, do you think? Or a self-referential nod to the book we have in our own hands while reading Dorian’s story?

Also the third, Basil needs better friends. I’ve decided that he played dead for 18+ hours while his blood was pooling around his feet, and Alan helped him escape, and then Alan pretended to end his own life and the two of them escaped to the Continent to set up a halfway house for Boys Dorian Messed Up.

And it seems like Harry actually really misses his wife now she’s gone? Or maybe he just misses being wanted by her? I wonder how he takes the news of Dorian’s death?

...hello! I'm delighted that you enjoyed The Picture of Dorian Grey, which is indeed a fascinatingly multilayered text (with nary a reliable narrator to be found.)

I'm wondering, to be honest, if you have me confused with another literate academic on here. I am an historian, not a literary scholar, and I'm not a Victorianist. I can recommend @jstor, and commend you to the generosity of my followers.

#asks and answers #the picture of dorian grey #oscar wilde

[ghostforwhat]

when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving

i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.

Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.

Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.

However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.

#NORTH UR PFP THREW ME OFF I WAS LIKE HELLO RANDOM BLOG I WILL ELABORATE YES #but also hiiiii what are you doing for the rest of your life and can it be me #haha jk....unless? #i'm literally holding so much back lmao like i didn't even touch on Will's response and manipulation of that behavior #tdlr when i write top hannibal its always going to be him makin will come like 3 times before he even remembers to get off n i stand by tha #so so sorry for this but also i am not at all and am completely correct #top hannibal can be good #theres just an overabundance of sadist/power topping which doesn't always mesh well i feel like idk #that man is hungry in every possible way for Will and when youre starved you don't stop to see if youre full you eat until you can't #but then again what do i know i am a dom Will advocate at heart #be he gentle or not #teacupmotif #asks !

[orbital-inclination]

Hi! I have a question that I wouldn't be surprised if you had gotten before but as you don't have an FQA to check I'm going to ask now. Is it ok if anyone writes the brothers for Molten!Dream? Their designs are lovely and I like them a lot, though I don't know where I would possibly use them I just wanted to be sure before considering it! If it's ok, do you think you could give a little rough rundown on their personalities? I'm curious about their characterization, though I'll definitely read all the bits you have posted for them <3

It’s good you asked because the last time someone asked me this question it was just after I’d posted about Molt and Rem for the first time. X) Writing the brothers/writing fic is A-OK!

As for personalities, here’s a rough sketch.

Molt: kind-heart, sensitive and downright sweet once he lets down his guard. Tolerant and forgiving. Unresolved trauma from the events that led to his corrupt has transformed him into a quiet and reserved individual. He has deeply internalized the idea that it’s morally wrong for him to express and act on his own (repressed) negative feelings. Struggles to trust and build new friendships out of fear of being used and betrayed again. Courageous but somewhat selfish. About as dangerous as canonical!Dream temperament wise (which is roughly equivalent to that of a kitten.) but the ambient influence of his magic is difficult to resist if you’re unprepared for it.

Warning, over exposure to Molt’s magic may led to the following symptoms: Obsession. Hedonism. Excessive Greed. The compulsion to laugh hysterically. Disengagement with reality. If you or a loved one have experienced the above, please seek his brother, Remembrance, immediately. (Or Baggs I guess, if Rem is unavailable but frankly you’d probably be safer with Sci.)

Rem: driven by guilt and regret. Cynical and pessimistic. Temperamental but more cunning than you’d expect. Secretive. Willing to lie to his brother to keep the peace. As equally willing to sacrifice an AU or four dozen for what he believes is the greater good. Carries himself like the prince he wants you to believe he is. Haughty, and not above being a smug little shit once he’s bested you. Introverted at his core and a massive bookworm. The bane of librarians, archivists, doctors, witches and government officials everywhere. Also, supportive of activities that improve the mental health of his the boys. Kinder than his sometimes prickly and guarded persona may suggest.

Their relationship can be… strained at times. Despite this, Rem primary motivation is making amends for the events that led to his brother’s corruption. Though the two may fight, they care too much to ever truly betray or hurt each other.

I also covered the Murder Trio + Cross and Blue in this ask here. And Killer got his own post too, if you’re interested in that!

#orbital chatter #moltendreams!au #molten!dream #moltendreams!nightmare #rem!nightmare #passive!nightmare #dreamtale au

[shadowshrike]

Dark Side of the Spawn

So I decided to scrap a much larger analysis post because I think there are only a couple other people interested in how Astarion can be interpreted as an evil character with some redeeming qualities, regardless of his major choice regarding ascension. There's a lot of interesting stuff buried in various corners of mutually exclusive dialogs or missable scenes that can make for a unique experience which I don't think many have explored.

However, I can't resist sharing one line you might get in his epilogue during the Spawn ending for those who like the ending but also prefer a darker Astarion.

Astarion: Oh no, people can be quite meek after seeing you murder their former master. Astarion: And if they do step out of line, it just takes one or two brutal examples to remind everyone else of their place. Astarion: I'm not a tyrant, I do care for their well-being, I just can't afford to show weakness.

There are three things I find really fascinating about this:

It's a line that would sound completely at home with a villain like Gortash. Pretty much any powerful, evil noble who is tyrannical but willing to justify their behavior as 'for the good of their people'. Astarion also says that their ruins are 'no palace, but maybe someday it will be' which, combined with this, can sound ominously like he's fashioning himself as a new sort of dictator of orphaned vampire spawn.

It shows him as a man who, when given any power, will abuse it, regardless of ascension. He might genuinely not recognize that's what he's doing when he's making 'one or two brutal examples to remind everyone else of their place' because his life for the past 200 years has been following a master who only modeled similarly cruel discipline. He's had no time to personally grow or discover himself before being thrust into leadership (ironically, kind of like Halsin, and we know how that went). Keeping monsters in line requires being a monster, and Astarion isn't afraid to do that. Leading through fear, pain, and feigned strength is all he knows.

Spawn Astarion does much more rationalization and talking around his questionable behaviors than his ascended version. Lord Astarion is unmistakably evil, yet nothing he says about his plans sounds half so foreboding to me, perhaps because he's so unapologetic about his 'hedonism, clandestine deals, and the occasional disappearance' to 'build up my influence over those who matter'. The spawn version needs to hedge that he's not actually a tyrant because he 'care[s] for their well-being' (something heard from many a horrific authority figure), that anyone being eaten by a vampire is 'on them' because the spawn only eat people who attack them (directly contradicted by his idle dialogue 'If I get back and they've killed another gnome, I swear - someone's getting impaled.') or that he only murders the 'right people' which means no one cares in the Underdark (which given the warring drow clans and overwhelmingly evil races down there, doesn't exactly inspire confidence).

Note that this dialogue does not appear in every version of the epilogue and includes a lot of inferences, so this isn't me saying, "Spawn Astarion is definitely this way" or anything like that. Enjoy your soft, sweet, happy endings with this character. It's undoubtedly the intended reading of most of his possible epilogue lines.

I just think it's neat that they left in some tidbits for those of us who prefer him as a fundamentally evil-aligned character. Terrible people can be victims, too, after all. I like having the option of telling a story that says someone doesn't have to become 'good' to be worthy of helping within the bounds of 'goodness'. Also that taking someone who's been enslaved and tortured for 200 years and then making them responsible for 7000 people the second they get free, while also losing a handful of other freedoms, might have some unfortunate consequences.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #mini analysis #astarion

[toasted-valentine]

Taopp Maya and Rowan analysis

It’s interesting to see how similar the two of them are, seemingly being foils to one another. If you look at their differences and similarities you can see why Maya gets away and is able to have a life with Maddox while Rowan dies in the end.

The biggest differences are patience and willingness to work within the system.

Maya is apparently a couple years older than Rowan, I think I saw that in an ask, and hasn’t had the luxury of being able to indulge in pure hedonism like Rowan has. She has to be more careful with her moves, like playing a game of chess delicately. Rowan koolaid mans his way through every problem, he needs Louis to help him strategize. He doesn’t have the same life experience Maya had. They’re both scheming opportunists who take full advantage of whatever tools that are at their disposal, Rowan tends to use a hammer for every issue while Maya is more considerate of the consequences and what can be done.

Maya and Rowan are both fully ready to kill and throw Jason under the bus to get what they want, actually forget throwing him under the bus, those two were doing donuts over him. Maya wasn’t even the one to suggest Rowan pardoning him, she was just going to get him potentially killed. They both grew up in an environment where brutal tactics were encouraged, Maya doesn’t even bat an eye at her father having murdered the old queen, excusing it as a necessary sacrifice. You can see how similar they are with how they interact, Maya dropping every semblance of polite princess and just swearing like a sailor while calling Rowan a dumbass. Their homicidal plans just bounce off each other with ease, their father’s brutal tendencies showing. They are able to balance out the things holding each other back, Maya gaining Rowan’s willingness to do what it takes, while Rowan’s plan takes deep consideration of court politics with Maya’s knowledge.

They both inherited some of their father’s worst traits, particularly the murdery bits. Their better parts come out cause of their respective partners, Maddox and Louis are both good natured, and you can see how they change Maya and Rowan. Maya is willing to give up all the potential power that being queen gives to he with Maddox, while Rowan is willing to do good for the sake of Louis. Even when jealous and spiteful, Rowan goes to beg for Jason’s life because he know Louis loves him. In the end, Maya is right, palace antics kill his good. Rowan becomes too much like his father, a violent, jealous, drunkard, and Maddox has to put him down.

There’s a few other parallels between the two you can see, particularly with queerness and gender presentation. Rowan is more feminine than a what is considered traditional, wearing makeup, having a relationship with the courtier, wearing flowing black garb. Maya is envious of Rowan, wants to be able to get out of her assigned gender roles, have a relationship with the Maddox openly, not be stuck in palace politics.

In abusive households there can often times form a golden child vs scapegoat dynamic, the golden child is the prize that the parent adores while the scapegoat does everything wrong. Maya was restricted by the king’s desires to groom her into the perfect queen, while everything Rowan does is the worst possible thing to ever happen to the kingdom. It creates resentment between the two, Maya wants the freedom that Rowan has while Rowan wants the favoritism that Maya has. If Maya wasn’t the favorite then maybe Rowan’s mother would still be alive. There’s a phrase that comes to mind, the grass is greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit.

It’s clear that Maya is the king’s favorite, the king willing to kill Rowan while going into extended mourning when Maya supposedly dies. They’re standoffish with one another cause they think that the other is just like their father, but the two can get along when working for a shared goal. Maya sees the good in her brother, and is right that the palace corrupts whatever good is left.

When Maya leaves she can see the parts of her father that are evil, seeing how restrictive her father was, and how all his supposed fatherly love was just control. She can’t even bring herself to care for her father’s death.

Rowan and Maya are the two sides of the same coin, but end up in different places due to just having some differences in upbringing and partner. Maybe they’d be on opposites side of the story in the end if they’d been raised differently, but as it stands, Rowan dies from his worst traits taking over. He didn’t take the chance to leave when Maya offered it, his blood lust and lust/love for Louis being too much.

#the art of pleasing princes #rowan astor #maya astor #jason bartok #louis rosemont #maddox horowitz

[johannestevans]

god, i never realised before that rossi is positioned as gideon's replacement in the BAU team, taking over his role as the elder father figure of the team, and his FIRST introduction is of him killing a bird, showing his values in direct opposition to many of gideon's

there are so many ways in which rossi and gideon oppose and mirror one another - they obviously had their start out together, and gideon is quite an unemotive, extremely private autistic guy who makes no secret of struggling with social interaction

he is extremely shut off because of the immense toll the work takes on him, but shuts himself off from everyone. his friends. his loved ones. his own son, who he sees as representative of his own failures, and poor stephen never feels loved or really seen by him

meanwhile, rossi is ALSO work-obsessed, but feigns as being extremely emotionally open about everything all the time. he wears many of his feelings on his sleeve, or so he likes to make it appear, while being quite cagey about the more complicated ones

in essence like. gideon is obsessive about his work to the extent he never bothers to mask - it's part of why he loves birds so much. birds are actually pretty brutal creatures, they're little dinosaurs, they're violent in defence of themselves and their families

but they also like. show their feelings really obviously - they're very ritualistic in their communications, in their songs, in their mating dances and behaviours, in the building of their nests

gideon is interested in wild birds and bird watching, right?

and this in itself is a hobby that requires passivity - not only that, but it's demanded by law! you don't touch bird eggs, many feathers are highly federally protected, you don't move nests, you don't have actual physical contact with most birds as a bird watcher

contrast that with rossi's introduction - we see rossi shooting a game bird, and having his dog fetch it for him. where gideon is represented by his affection for and affiliation with birds, here we see rossi with dogs, here a labrador

highly loyal, highly domesticated, highly social animals. eager to please friends and strangers alike - energetic, obedient to a limit (they'll be obedient on specific tasks, but wildly unpredictable on others), famously horny when unspayed, etc

and unlike the wild bird, which by its definition is distant from and disconnected from human involvement, the dog is DEFINED by human involvement, because rossi cannot abide to turn his head away from the overarching humanity of it all, EVEN when it's painful

at the end of the day, rossi and gideon are both deeply flawed but genuinely compassionate men who have been shaped and moulded by an uncompassionate system while acting as law enforcers - inherently a career that feigns kindness and talks about "justice" when really. doesn't

these are men that because they have studied serial killers and because they have had to pathologise crime and murder in the way they have to profile effectively, have had to turn a blind eye to institutional injustices and to practices of abuse

they HAVE to focus on the people they save from killers because like… otherwise they have to reckon with the many other people they've harmed, that their world view harms, that the system they're active in harms - and creates, and absolves, and abets

but where gideon obsesses over the non-human natural world and over non-human, unpredictable - and therefore, "pure", "safer" creatures - rossi does the opposite and obsesses over humanity, over food, culture, over hedonism and human social behaviour

i just!! i can't believe i never noticed that detail before. it's so fun

#musings #jason gideon #david rossi #criminal minds